#im not. chill
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
.
#sorry chat im in a mood#vent#tw suicide#tw self harm#i wish people were nicer to me#or at all#or meaner cause then i could do it without feeling guilty and bad#now im just at this fuckass cant do it but really really want to but cant#id rather either not want to. or to be able to#i wish there was like a a ‘im thsi close to kms’ meter above our heads so ppl would realize they might have to be a bit nicer when they talk#to me#im kot that big on sh but maybe i should just slice my arms open like a madman and then theyll be able to tell#im okay until i talk to/hang out with people#sometimes i think im the priblem but like i dont think i am i think others are#sure im a problem but im not my problem#no liwk genuinely i just want friends that i like that are nice to me#why do other ppl not realize theyre being mean? am i the only one that learnt not to say stuff if its not nice#i get coming off as meaner than u menat but i know you know that wasn’t necessary to say at all#sometimes u can not say things ir say it differently#why is it so much easier to make good friends online i hate it#i want that irl too#i guess bcus im worse irl but still#and i hate that all my problems are all the small stuff combined and not something big#because then i dont have the reason but i do have the motivation#i wish i wasnt as opposed and unable to plan and organize stuff cause id be out of here but its like.. too much work im sorta lazy tbh#im not killing myself but never say never#im not. chill#ill let u know#i wish i was but im not#i have to draw all the fanart ive planned and i want to get christmas gifts and celebrate new years with my mom
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
i think most people accept the idea of "you don't control who you're attracted to" in terms of being gay but imo it can go further. like if you're not attracted to men, but you happen to find a transmasc person attractive, i dont think thats inherently transphobic if you acknoweldge that your attraction is incongruent with their identity. you dont need to run yourself in circles creating qualifiers for your sexuality when we live in a world of infinite gender identites. it's not like you have an inbuilt radar that tells you whether that hot stranger at the bar is a woman or not. man who kissed a twink that turned out to be a butch lesbian that thought he was a butch lesbian. etc.
28K notes
·
View notes
Text
i want more nuance to be entered into the discussion of the green girl sorority and how differently cynthia plays elphaba in comparison to those who came before her because while a lot of people are rightfully like "why was elphaba not black from the beginning" and celebrating that she is now being played by a black woman, i think we need to be careful in just writing off all the elphabas of the past as Random White Girls when the role was championed (and often followed/succeeded) by a jewish woman
the pop culture archetype of the Wicked Witch has deep roots in antisemitism stretching faaaar far back. there is a level of reclamation happening in casting idina menzel, a jewish woman, to play the Misunderstood and Maligned young girl who is branded as exactly that. and stage!Elphaba is also written and acted with jewish stereotypes in mind--she is loud, aggressive, no-nonsense, blunt. she is quick to advocate for herself and shut down the discrimination she faces. all of this is very intentional! her personality is abrasive from years of abuse, and that makes propagandizing her easy. this is literally the thesis statement of the musical--it's not about aptitude, it's the way you're viewed.
cynthia's performance of elphaba is fucking INSPIRED despite going in a completely different direction. she's much more reserved, analytical, one of her key character traits is how well she can read people (see her calling out Galinda as insecure/putting on airs in their first scene together, clocking that Fiyero is using his party guy persona as a shield for his own depression) elphaba's attempts to blend in and make herself smaller all fail simply because of her existence, if not that then because she feels empathy so strongly she often struggles to hold back from acting, protecting.
personality wise, though, cynthia's elphaba is very quiet and closed-off, not at all the bullet-to-the-face that she is in the stage show, and... she still gets propagandized and maligned. though this seems to contradict the other interpretation, it tells of the other end of the spectrum of propaganda, one that black women watching (and many, MANY other marginalized folks) are sure to identify with--it does not matter how "nice," how reserved, how small a black woman makes herself. a racist society will still scrutinize her every action for a way to parse ill intent from it, brand her as an angry black woman who is dangerous and wicked, and write off any humanity she has in the process.
these two very different interpretations tell of the lie of assimilation. the fact of the matter is, when you are marginalized, there is no way to sand down your edges enough to make the people oppressing you "accept" you. that is why wicked is a tragedy at its core. whether loud and aggressive or quiet and unimposing, there is nothing elphaba could have done to make the people of Oz see her as anything other than a scapegoat to blame all their problems on.
so while i definitely appreciate that people are excited for black girl era elphaba, i would encourage us all to still show appreciation for what came before--that was not white girl era elphaba. that was jewish girl era elphaba. two houses, both alike in dignity, two stories both worth being told.
#wordy wendy#wicked#wicked movie#wicked 2024#wendy rambles#wendy meta#honestly i get chills whenever im watching the movie#and it gets to 'her green skin is a twisted manifestorial of her true nature#' what a wham line. literally makes me sick to hear.
16K notes
·
View notes
Text
this is just my opinion but i think any good media needs obsession behind it. it needs passion, the kind of passion that's no longer "gentle scented candle" and is now "oh shit the house caught on fire". it needs a creator that's biting the floorboards and gnawing the story off their skin. creators are supposed to be wild animals. they are supposed to want to tell a story with the ferocity of eating a good stone fruit while standing over the sink. the same protective, strange instinct as being 7 and making mud potions in pink teacups: you gotta get weird with it.
good media needs unhinged, googling-at-midnight kind of energy. it needs "what kind of seams are invented on this planet" energy and "im just gonna trust the audience to roll with me about this" energy. it needs one person (at least) screaming into the void with so much drive and energy that it forces the story to be real.
sometimes people are baffled when fanfic has some stunning jaw-dropping tattoo-it-on-you lines. and i'm like - well, i don't go here, but that makes sense to me. of fucking course people who have this amount of passion are going to create something good. they moved from a place of genuine love and enjoyment.
so yeah, duh! saturday cartoons have banger lines. random street art is sometimes the most precious heart-wrenching shit you've ever seen. someone singing on tiktok ends up creating your next favorite song. youtubers are giving us 5 hours of carefully researched content. all of this is the impossible equation to latestage capitalism. like, you can't force something to be good. AI cannot make it good. no amount of focus-group testing or market research. what makes a story worth listening to is that someone cares so much about telling it - through dance, art, music, whatever it takes - that they are just a little unhinged about it.
one time my friend told me he stayed up all night researching how many ways there are to peel an orange. he wrote me a poem that made me cry on public transportation. the love came through it like pith, you know? the words all came apart in my hands. it tasted like breakfast.
#warm up#writeblr#actually this is because again i don't go here#i don't read/write fanfic but i have nothing but respect for my troops#but i also have never played minecraft. im sorry. please ask me any question about pokemon tho i love that shit#anyway#out of some banal and thoughtless curiosity i watched the minecraft movie trailer#and again i know nothing about minecraft. i am aware im in an endangered population#but im watching this going: this is so fucking.... BAD#there is NO LOVE in it!#like if someone who has NO history in minecraft watches that and is like - ohhh this is soulless#WHO IS THE AUDIENCE????#ppl who love minecraft are gonna hate it!!!#at some point it's the ''mean girls musical movie'' problem --#some people will always hate the premise of what you're doing and some people will love it#make it for the ppl who love it#and usually that somewhat convinces the haters to like. chill enough to TRY it . bc it IS good#but when you try to make it for the haters..... nobody likes it. it doesn't have passion. energy. footwork#which is a small way of saying a big thing: if you love something. fucking make it and assume someone will love it too.#i love u . be brave . be bold. be in boston and come to my reading#where i wrote a really weird fucked up little book.#love u love u love u etc
12K notes
·
View notes
Text
morning glory
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#itadori yuuji#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk leaks#yuuji#i cant even bring myself 2 b salty about No Megu part 4546768 bc oh my GOD#YUUJI RLY OUT HERE LOOKIN LIKE FALLEN ANGEL ALEXANDER CABANEL 1847 GEGE AKUTAMI THE ARTIST U ARE#we're so blessed we're so lucky this panel is ART i ran 2 open csp the moment i saw it#SO many s tier yuuji panels this chapter tbh but this. i dont think ill ever b over it#god im giddy im fangirling a little bit looking at it#i don't talk enough abt how Good of an artist gege is his expressions r masterful#it's incredible how much emotion he packs into stares n glances n gazes#and ESPECIALLY with yuuji there is so much weight and emotion and intensity in his eyes in every gd panel#king legend visionary etc etc etc does this man EVER turn it off ????#i honestly dont think i did the original panel justice its That good his gaze is That chilling#but i certainly tried my best :'> sampled colours directly from th fallen angel painting itself n it made the blues pop rly well#anyway if im sukuna im crawling back 2 him hands and knees give him back his boyfriend hes not here 2 play anymore FGHFGJSD
12K notes
·
View notes
Text
#sorry. weird mood. chronic illness moment. im in so much pain and my response to that is to envision violence and mutilation#in like. a chill and normal way though i prommy 😇🫀🦴🔪#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k
42K notes
·
View notes
Text
Yeah
#dragon age#dragon age rook#dragon age hawke#oc: rindhil#oc: gavin#im pretty sure hawke is chill going around buckass naked cus whos gonna stop him?
7K notes
·
View notes
Text
Was looking at refs and since Viktor has two different leg braces I was wondering, do we think he wears them simultaneously?? The refs don't perfectly line up perspective-wise so it's hard to tell but parts of the one he wears during the Hexcore scenes look like they could maybe line up with the brace that he wears over his clothes, but also some parts really don't and look like they'd be super uncomfy. Also HOW does he take these on and off. Experts weigh in
#viktor#arcane#ig my assumption would be that he wears both simultaneously cause in the scene where he injects the shimmer#it seems implied that he just threw off his clothes and kept experimenting#so one might assume he was already wearing the smaller one underneath#tho it is a funny image to think of him just being like 'one sec i gotta go all the way home and grab my other brace to do this'#he can take off the back brace too cause hes not wearing it in the scene where he's in the hospital bed and you can see his shoulder#where the strap would be#but that one seems to make even less sense functionality wise#everything looks like its screwed together#or screwed INTO him#but only the top bolts on his spine are i think#in the close ups of his back brace model it looks like theres cushioning underneath the parts of it that cover the rest of his spine#so he can take it off. but HOW#what parts of it unscrew/detatch to pull open and off#does it not do that at all and he just has to shimmy it off his shoulder and all the way down his legs to get it off like a romper#the shape language of the designs are cool but like. tell me how it wooorrkkksss#forgive me if im just dumb and dont know at all how braces work and theres a very simple practical explanation for all this#any king who wants to infodump about mobility aids at me....the floor is yours#something to be said i suppose about the fact that zaunites have crazy prosthetics with wild augmentations that work flawlessly#and piltover's like. idk heres some fucking uncomfortable ass metal. salo gets wheelchair in non ada compliant place#they havent ever needed to adapt to accommodate disabilities etc etc#or maybe artists were just like 'heres a design' and everybody clapped and didnt give it a second thought#and then they just turned off the visibility on the mesh when they didnt need it knowing thered not be a scene where its taken off#dont even wanna THINK about what that rig would look like#like 40 different controllers#soft body and rigid hard surfaces needing to move together....#a cold chill just shot up my spine#<- guy who is only an animator and doesnt know how to rig#forgive the magic wand tool with zero cleanup. i am lazy
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
everyone on this app yaps about bad media being better for fandoms but dsmp’s untapped and forever unexplored or poorly explored potential and general themes of attachment, grief and childhood and the fact that so much of it was accidental or improvised and the tight knit community that fell apart in less than two years makes it, in my humble and objective opinion, the single most haunting fandom i’ve ever been in. if you even care. clings to everyone like cobwebs i mean just look at all the sleeper agents and old urls that are posting about tonight lol YOU CAN’T ESCAPE
#not that i want to im chilling. but still haunted etc etc. you get it#alex.rambles.txt#mcyt#dsmp#dream smp#alex.greatest.hits.txt
8K notes
·
View notes
Text
Stanley Pines lyric PMV bc I think he’s neat :]
EDIT: YouTube link!
#gravity falls#Stan pines#Stanley pines#this took three weeks on and off! so yea I’m done LMAO#I’m satisfied with everything else so ig it’s chill#not happy with the ending but fuck it we ball im tired lol#gf art#cw flashing
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
🐦⬛: I'm fine..
💀: Stay still
#dragon age#dragon age veilguard#dragon age the veilguard#lucanis dellamorte#emmrich volkarin#lucanis x emmrich#emmrich x lucanis#old man yaoi#have fun playing the game#im just gonna watch the livestream when the game come out#Spite just chilling there bcoz he's the one who's been making Lucanis fight the hardest enemy#he is waiting fir a right time till he fully possessed Lucanis#kinda want to see more Lucanis and Spite interaction like Eddie and Venom situation#emmcanis#lucarich
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
seriously have been thinking about this all night long. call me autistic but the fact that 90% of workplaces the point is not to get your work done and then be done doing it but to instead perform an elaborate social dance in which you find something to do even when you're done doing everything you need to do in order to show your fellow workers that you, too, are Working . because you are at Work . disgusting why cant we all agree that if there is no work immediately to be done. we just dont do anything
#i personally like to not be doing things constantly at all times. it stresses me out#i know there are ppl who thrive on cosntant activity#but me i like to chill out.#and the problem then becomes that i only ACTIVELY remember to do work and Find More Work To Do when im stressed#at the thought that others might want to see me working#if im ever relaxed i just dont look for stuff to do#catch 22 of modern work culture which permeates even ostensibly noncapitalist structures like public libraries#for instance: will it really kill anybody if the books get shelved by me now after a very busy day?#or shelved tomorrow morning by. well probably me since i'll be the one at the desk#not in the slightest#but it was work that wasnt being immediately done by me. therefore it was incorrect behavior#that i failed to identify because my instinct is to relax when not immediately presented with a Situation#this got me labeled as 'having no initiative' by my dad from a very early age#and even as an adult i still feel like im a child with no initiative
65K notes
·
View notes
Text
Do you guys fuck with the FNAF books?…
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#eleanor fnaf#fetch fnaf#mimic fnaf#fnaf vanny#fnaf vanessa#fazbear frights#fnaf gregory#andrew fnaf#twisted ones#tiger rock#security breach#fnaf fanart#fnaf anniversary#FNAF WEEK still going strong#today the FNAF book ‘VIP’ drops!#SO I wanted to make a lil tribute to the books!!#I tried to fit as many stories as I could into this one panel#IM ACTUALLY pretty happy with how it turned out#Vanessa shouldn’t be scared they seem chill 🙏🏾#idk if this is a hot take but I always thought the books were fun#especially the characters they are so cool#I gotta know which FNAF stories are your favourite
7K notes
·
View notes
Text
atla renaissance pt 3 calls to me like a siren
#back to my roots#atla#zuko#sokka#toph#avatar the last airbender#avatar#to everyone arguing whether or not it’s accurate to say they do have ODS consider a few things#a) it’s a joke i made while high#b) toph wouldn’t care she would just say shit to piss them off because she’s 12#c) maybe welcome joy into your life. consider taking even a second of a break from whatever compels you to ruin my desire to post#and just chill. because this is and has never been that deep#art#my art#my fan art#fan art#is this the last thing i ever post on tumblr? who knows#im high and its 2am lets get wild
8K notes
·
View notes
Text
genuinely is my brain erasing itself or is google/tumblr censoring that post about notre dame and old growth forests.
#i know we joke about tumblr's (lack of) search function#but at some point this is surely (less) passive (more) aggressive#(particularly against people with memory issues...is this. is this gaslighting.#am i. am i being GASLIGHTED. by a social media platform who isn't even my PARENT???)#that post is ingrained in my memory but google image is flirting and fwirling its fan 'haha! you're so cute! and Imagining Things. Dear :-)#i have Looked okay! i've looked! and i've looked for a SEVERAL DOZEN POSTS before this after talking To People...and behold!#...this last year or two i *genuinely* can't find posts 4 out of 5 times.#what the COOL GELITAN FUCK is going on#geletan#gel#GELTAIN#GELA--im so scared right now#so tired#GELITAN#what the chilled gelitan fuck is going on#update: i Am being gaslit just not about the spelling of gelly-thing#i'm both stupid AND being gaslit. these things! can! coexist! *sad clapping*
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
new official illust of them with puppies healed something in me
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#nobara kugisaki#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#file name pupys btw bc they r all. pupys#6 pupys in this image#cries eternally u kno the cruel thing is there is no winning fr me when it comes 2 creating art fr this series#i draw them in canon situations i experience pain i draw them in noncanon Relaxed situations i experience pain#illusion of choice.....#regardless i care them so much i would MUCH rather them b in a sunny field with dogs#i will endure the bittersweet feeling of being an audience member n knowing that their reality is nowhere this tranquil#i can dream :'< i can draw :'<#anyway this took a billion years bc i made megumi stand smh#he didnt fight or anything but th overall Composition ws a bit harder 2 navigate because of it#smth smth sizing smth smth planes idk i cant draw#i think it makes sense tho! nobara/yuuji sitting chilling casually rolling a tennis ball fr their puppies#meanwhile megumi Actively trying 2 train his#head in hands god im MISERABLE#anyway this will b available as a print per request if any1 wants 2 b miserable with me
6K notes
·
View notes