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#but i basically refused to acknowledge anything ever i was just straight up emotionless feelingless
bearsgrove · 11 months
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im really like a sponge sometimes huh
#river.txt#its only really been the past. year-ish? maybe less?#because before i was probably less in touch with my own emotions and definitely still had the habit of bottling shit up#and not to mention before that i was on this hardcore emotions/feelings diet lmao idk what else to call it#but i basically refused to acknowledge anything ever i was just straight up emotionless feelingless#but ever since therapy and opening up about stuff there and etc etc#i generally became more. sensitive to the inner workings of myself#And. the point of this post: to other people#so back to my sponge point#lately i really feel like a sponge because#i can be having an okay brain day and then one of my friends says they are upset or something happens or whatever#and im instantly feeling so fucking shit im all like oh ok nvm life bad actually life is so shit im so sad and/or angry#idk i cant explain it i just absord it so fast and it can instantly impact and change my own mood#like today i was in the mountains right. nice cozy autumnal time. felt chilled.#but then i was on the train back home and i started talking to a friend and we talked about all this. hmm.#shitty server stuff. just bad vibes. he is upset because of the same stuff as me too. we were both hurt by someone. etc#so we started discussing that but then it got more personal and he said how he is really not doing well and how hurt he is#and i just had a nice mountain time i was feeling ok but after this i was immediately just#so fucking down
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