#so much just keeps happening and i dont know if i can keep up

[i4kitty]

alexis is a virgin and it definitely shows, first bj, reader likes making alex shy, softcore smut???? sub alex, use of the name “honey”, reader is overbearing turned into caring and patient, lexis is a loverboy 🤍

sorry if there are accidents (⸝⸝⸝-﹏-⸝⸝⸝)

you knew about alex’s crush on you. how could you not? his tone change and constant stuttering around you was enough to notice. you loved seeing him so nervous, it made you feel prideful that he had fallen for you so hard. but to test him even further, you invited him over to your place. innocently covering it up as just “baking cookies”.

in the kitchen, the two of you stand side by side while reviewing the recipe on your phone one last time before starting. you strategically lean over the counter to give him a provocative view of your body. without even looking you could tell he was having a hard time keeping his eyes on the phone. you fake a small cough to keep yourself from smirking.

as time goes by the tension grew palpable. each accidental (purposeful) touch and lingering look from the both of you had alex feeling nervous. you could tell. as he mixed the bowl of ingredients you notice the tight grip he has on the whisk, possibly to keep his hand from shaking. youre watching him too hard. staring at his face, then his flexed arm, then the bowl infront of him then back to his face. his jaw is clenched.

“is something wrong?” your voice is laced with feigned innocence. alex glances at you and softly smiles, shaking his head.

“i can do it for you. your arm must be tired.” you place a hand flat against his chest and gently push him back. you grin as you feel his heart racing against your palm. stepping infront of him, you make sure the curve of your butt brushes against his crotch. you finish whisking for him as if nothing had happened.

you two continue to work in silence. the only sound being the rhythmic thump of a cookie cutter on dough. you were rather relaxed. sharing quality time with one of your closest friends, baking cookies and enjoying eachothers presence. on the other hand alexs mind was racing, trying to decide if he should make a move or if he was reading too much into the situation. he snaps out of it when you reach over in front of him for a napkin, your boobs rubbing against his forearm. youre so close he could smell your shampoo. or maybe thats just the scent of cookies lingering on your skin?

alex was so desperate for you. especially now. his hands began to tremble as he tried to maintain a semblance of normalcy. he could feel the heat from your body and it was driving him crazy. thats when he felt himself throb against his pants. he wondered if the smell of cookies on your skin would persist while the two of you made love. how would your hands feel on his shoulders as he filled you with his love? would you scratch? pinch? or just hold him close? would you see him as a loving partner or just another man? he escapes his thoughts when he notices you watching him.

“whats the matter? you dont look okay” you ask. voice a sultry purr. you look down, finally taking notice of the issue. he tries to hide himself with his hands, averting his eyes. you look back up at him, eyes gleaming with a hint of mischief. “let me help you.” grabbing his arm and guiding him to your couch, you can feel his desperation just based off of how closely hes following you.

you sat him on the sofa and take your spot on your knees on the floor infront of him. you spread his legs apart and shuffle closer to him. now that youre in this position, the spot you’ve wanted to be in for so long, you start to feel overwhelmed. you’ve wanted this just as long as alex has and its finally time. you look up at him nervously. hes already staring down at you with an unreadable expression. but you know he’s nervous too due to him not knowing where to put his hands. cute.

you steadily unzip his pants, revealing his black boxers. his breathing is shallow, theres a feeling of pity in your heart. “are you okay? i need to make sure.” you tilt your head and look at him quizzically. “i was having fun with you before, but now it feels like youre going to melt in front of me. so are you sure?”

alex gives you a reassuring smile that you quickly return. in one swift movement you pull both his pants and boxers down to his ankles. you took his cock in your hand, feeling its warmth and the pulse of his blood under his skin. you leaned in and kissed the tip, feeling his hips lightly jerk. alex places a hand in your hair and leans back.

he moans softly, his hips reacting each time you took him deep. his hands tightened in your hair, guiding you the way he liked. theres an occasional loud groan escaping his lips. your eyes began to water a little as your throat contracts around him. but you were determined to be good for him as an apology for getting him riled up like this in the first place.

“honey,” he gasps, voice barely above a whisper. you soften at the nickname. “im gonna.. gonna cum.” due to his strained cry, your hand strokes the base of his cock faster. swirling your tongue and harshly sucking at his tip.

with a strangled moan, alex came. his body tensing. you gladly swallowed what he gave, some of it freely dribbling out of your mouth and down your chin. you kept sucking, milking every last drop out of him until he was spent and panting.

when you pull away he’s quick to clean off the excess cum on your face using the sleeve of his own sweater. you stare dead into his eyes as he cleaned your face. there’s butterflies in your stomach when you recall the domestic petname he had given you. you sit there lost in thought as alex puts his pants back on. he fixes your hair and wipes your face one last time before helping you to your feet. he’s so loving, an angel.

[ivysprophecy]

Am I Okay? Chapter Two

a/n: hi!! so i know im a eensy bit behind on writing these because this takes place *during* part seven which is linked if you need a bit of a refresher however the next chapter will be up soon hopefully and i can tell you it will take place after part twelve! maybe you can guess what it will be ;)

warnings: i dont think there are any?

word count: 594

i kick my sandy boots off before walking through the door. trying to keep as much sand out of the house as possible.

"your house is gorgeous..." i bend over shaking any loose sand out of my hair before stepping into the kitchen. i see a picture frame on the counter. its what i assume to be a picture of his family. or what it used to be.

he told me something had happened with his dad's death and rose had left for some reason or another but...

"this is a nice picture... cute. i like the longer hair."

he looks over at me with an odd expression on his face, some mix of a melancholy tone to it. but he knows i mean well, no harm.

"thank you... but yea i was a lot younger then, i think i was a junior in high school there. making wheezie about fifth grade? sarah a freshman... different times."

"ya know she talks about you a lot. misses you. and a lot more but its not my business," all he can do is nod towards me, acknowledging what i said. "well i should be heading home..."

"are you sure? you dont have to go you know, you could stay. get dinner or something."

you chuckle running a hand through your tangly, gross hair. "im not exactly in going out attire," you gesture to your unkempt hair and bikini clinging to your skin.

"well youre welcome to make yourself at home here. im sure there are some clothes i can lend you."

"if its alright actually do you mind if i grab a quick shower? sands got me all itchy and stuff-"

"yea of course- ill find you some clothes and show you where the gust room is."

following him up the stairs i continue to take in his house, its real nice. but i guess thats how it goes when you own cameron development. or most of it.

"so just in here," he opens a door thats obviously a bathroom, "im gonna grab some clothes, sarah has a box or two left here but ill see what i can find."

"thanks so much- youre sweet as sugar," i lean up and press a friendly(?) kiss to his cheek.

his smile is subtle, but there, as he walks off heading to find the clothes previously mentioned. and its not long before i have the shower running and he leaves them outside the door before he goes to take care of himself.

after i get out of the shower i see my phones blown up with texts from sarah and the groupchat sending off a few responses before finally getting dressed. seeing he found some of sarahs jeans, but one of his shirts.

it smells like him.

and im kinda mad at myself for liking it.

i walk back down the stairs after throwing my hair up and out of the way since its still a little damp. and i see rafe watching me as i walk down and he hurriedly hides his phone in his pocket.

guess he likes me wearing his shirt too.

"you uh- you clean up nice."

i cant hide my smile and blush as i walk over to him, "could say the same about you. where are we headed?"

"i figured id let you pick where we eat."

"well im still new around here so why dont you take me to your favorite place?"

"i can do that... lead the way," he gestures to the door after grabbing his keys with a grin.

[ masterlist ]

[mymoshangthoughts]

oki look im back on my "binghe and airplane are similar and i love it" bullshit

except this time i want these two whiny cut-throat bastards to run a cafe together

like binghe is the chef, obviously, and airplane handles the business side of things, and between the two of them, they absolutely make the cafe succeed through underhanded means

like

could they succeed as a business with just binghe's talents as a cook and qinghua handling the bills while the both of them charmed their way through customer service with their fake ass smiles? abso-fucking-lutely. but would they? oh no

qinghua is like releasing rats into the neighboring cafes and salting their sugar in espionage to make sure that everyone knows that the surrounding coffee is shit and the only place for Good Coffee is their cafe. he's making multiple alts online to just destroy their competition through online reviews and switching out the labels on dairy milk with non-dairy milk so that all the lactose intolerant customers are throwing fits on the regular because look, qinghua knows that a small lil cafe cant stand up to the big chain restaraunts, but he CAN destroy the reputation of all the closest chains to him like an absolute bastard

and oki, maybe binghe doesnt NEED to mansplain, manipulate, and manslaughter his way through everything, but gosh darnit, it's second nature to him. he is absolutely gonna hunt down any threats to their establishment and break their arms. and literally everyone who looks down on his establishment or leaves a bad review or otherwise gets in the path of his vengeance trail? loooookk, he cant be blamed for the way he smiled to their face while stabbing them in the back. they had it coming! they insulted his mothers lemon square recipe and thats an arm breaking offense oki

between the pair of them, they have the entire area quaking in confused fear. cuz okay, something i wanna talk about, the pair of them are two-faced and terrifying but like... 99% of people dont know that lmfao

(off topic but a personal pet peeve of mine is when fanfiction has characters immediately notice that binghe or qinghua are lying liars who lie. like "he smiled but it didnt meet his eyes etc" and im just guys. it's VERY established that the pair of them are VERY GOOD lying liars who lie. binghe's main character trait is that he can lie so convincingly that even shen yuan isn't always sure when he's sincere or not. and qinghua was literally a double agent for HOW LONG without getting caught? dude HAS to have a convincing fake smile. so all im saying is that people wouldnt immediately be able to see through that)

so like, yeah, all the bad luck and shit started happening when these two chuckle-fucks opened up a cafe in the area so like, logically it has to be SOMETHING to do with them but binghe and qinghua are literally the two most harmless and charming lil dudes ever? qinghua looks like a harmless pathetic hamster and binghe will thank you tearfully if you like his lemon squares and these two are literally the most wholesome and sweet business owners in the area so clearly they're not behind it

like i just need people to losing their minds a little bit because bingplane have gaslighted them all into submission like the evil cut-throat two-faced fuckers they are.

i honestly cant decide whats better tho. the pair of them having a drink after work together where the vibes are "lmfao we're so evil lets bask in our victory" glow OR the two of them actually only have a faint idea that the other is ALSO an asshole x'D

oki i think i lean toward the latter bc i think thats funnier.

like binghe doesnt pay much attention to airplane bc, as stated, airplane is a pathetic lil whining worm and he legitimately could not care if the twerp lived or died so long as the taxes are filed on time. but tbh, even then, he's competent enough that he doesnt /need/ qinghua around. it's just kinda convenient to keep him around. so mainly he's just apathetic and ambivalent to qinghua, but like, he does sorta notice because they spend so much time together that theres a distinctly... ratty quality to the dude. like, qinghua disappears for an hour and no less than five minutes after his return theres a roach infestation found in their closest competition? sus as fuck. and theres a little bit of a game recognizing game type of energy, but bc binghe could not be paid to care about qinghua's existence, he doesnt really look into it

similarly, qinghua is like 80% sure that pathetic crybaby of a chef is just that, but also, look, he's not dumb and the last three customers who insulted his lemon squares came back to the cafe in casts and binghe is a little too quick to turn off the customer service charm sometimes. and qinghua has basically decided "i actually really dont wanna know". ignorance is bliss, whatever level of psycho his coworker is, he honestly does not care so long as the crazy fuck continues to bake like a god. he absolutely 100% does not get paid enough to know whether his coworker is a serial killer and he also has the self preservation to understand that the less he knows, the better

so they both kinda have vague hints that the other is a two-faced motherfucker, but it's something that they figured out over time. there was no immediate meeting and "oh i know what you are" it was like "oki we've been working together for a year and yeah, im starting to think this guy isnt what he seems". slowburn them into realizing that they have similar personalities, if you will

now as tempting as it is to taking this au in a bingplane direction bc im ngl, i am multishipping trash, i am much more interested in slowburning this as a friendship. or like, grudging companionship LOL because also that gives the opportunity for:

"i just had to ask the worst person i know for love advice" shenanigans

followed by "the worst person i know gives good love advice, fuck" shenanigans

maybe they're having a drink and it's friendly and binghe kinda jsut wants to go home because again, he does not give a fuck about the fact that qinghua is alive, and qinghua also sorta wants to go home but they've both sorta committed to the "we're friendly coworkers" bit so here they are at a bar and trying to map out the Soonest Possible Good Time To Leave when binghe unthinkingly asks

"how do you get someones attention?" because he kinda ran out of pointless weather-related topics and it was on his mind and he really didnt expect qinghua to give him a half decent answer but then qinghua DOES and also knows who binghe's crush is and also is tactfully NOT saying that he knows who binghe's crush is with the casual "look, as an example, that specific person might like~" type of thing

havent decided on a binghe ship tbh lol. like bingyuan is obvious but also would be fun to do some bingliu or bingmo instead lmao maybe bingning? look im a happy multishipper and binghe is shippable with Many Characters. tho for the purposes of this freeform au thoughtless drabbling, the binghe ship doesnt actually matter so i'll keep it vague lol

the point is that qinghua gives really good fucking advice and binghe is just Not Ready for that because he's absolutely seen what a Nightmare scene it is when qinghua tries to flirt

which is somehow how the two segue into a relationship where they talk about flirting and love interests and that sort of shit in the most "we are two stereotypical gossiping middle school girls on the planet who are giggling and playing truth or dare about our crushes" type of way lmfao

because yeah, they're both cut-throat two-faced assholes, but they're also both utterly Weak in love

might be fun if they cycle through a few different failed crushes, but still kinda have fun at each others houses in like pillow forts with martinis that binghe made and gushing about "omg he was like so cute, did you see the way that he brushed me off? ahh imma die, so hot" because also they realize that they both share a Type. they are both absolutely into the Cold Beauty type, altho luckily they haven't crushed on the same person at the same time Yet, but like, it's only a matter of time okay and they know it and they are fully planning to Destroy the other when the time comes bc it's not bros before hoes for them, ohno, it's "to get that hoe, i will bury my bro in concrete" between them and they both lowkey know it LMFAO

and look, mobei jun did not ask to be the culmination of that particular building battle between them. he just came for coffee okay. what the fuck is happening. why is this is life now.

because okay when the pair of them were crushing on individuals who popped into the cafe or people they met outside, there wasnt any sense of urgency to it because they'd just shoot their shot and usually it wouldnt work out, well, it worked out for binghe whenever he went after chicks but he quickly figured out that he was like Cursed with "women simp after me" virus and while it can be flattering to have a simp, it really isnt fun to DATE a simp, ya know? so those relationships usually ended badly. qinghua just has no game with men or women lol

but see, when they realize that they're BOTH after the same guy, then theres the realization that if they fail, theres actually the chance the other one will Succeed and that would be Bad because then they'd have to see the object of their affections dating a coworker and NOPE NO CANT DO IT, WOULD MURDER HIM, I NEED TO GET THAT MAN JUST TO SPARE MY COWORKER FROM BEING MURDERED. THIS IS REALLY ALTRUISTIC OF ME ACTUALLY

so now they're just A LOT more persistent than they've ever been before lmfao they are pulling all the stops, they are using every weakness, they are ready to fucking WRECK the competition

maybe i should aim for a bingyuanmoshang ot4 endgame lmfao. mobei jun and shen yuan are just a happily married poly couple and shen yuan is having the time of his life laughing his ass off every time his husband comes home from the coffee shop like "i dont know whats going on but im scared and weirdly horny" and when bingplane realize that the solution is that mobei jun has two hands (and a very attractive husband), things calm down lmfao

or alternate route for this path, instead of them both thirsting after mobei jun, shang qinghua just has the most pathetic crush in the world, so luo binghe decides to have mercy on his coworker and be a wingman. only he Very Accidentally catches mobei jun's attention instead and now airplane is actually kinda lowkey ready to kill him bc he thinks that binghe snaked him but for once binghe is innocent! he didnt mean to do it! and it's moshang endgame when mobei jun gets over his crush on binghe and notices the angry hamster desperate for his attention

OR OR OR WAIT I THINK I THOUGHT OF THE VERSION I LIKE BEST

oki instead of bingplane actively seeking out love at every corner, what if they're just not. like they do bond over crushes and stuff but actually they're kinda too busy with the cafe and life and hobbies to really think about romance more than a "omg he was so cute~" kind of way. so neither of them notice when they have customers who are just Actively trying to ask them out

like mobei jun has been desperately trying to flirt with the oblivious barista for MONTHS now and he's actually dying because qinghua will just say shit like "wow you're literally the most handsome guy ive ever seen" but then brush him off when mobei jun tries to ask him out bc qinghua just assumes he isnt serious and he's busy with the expresso machine and he has no idea that this man is just PINING behind him while he sighs pathetically to binghe later abt "man it's fun having crushes but dont you just wish someone could like you instead?" and binghe just like "look im actually desirable, cannot relate"

thinking bingliu route for this version bc i feel like liu qingge is just a lot more fitting for Uselessly Pining After The Barista than shen yuan is lol. also his attempts at flirting are basically just picking fights with binghe and he always loses and binghe has absolutely no idea how far gone qingge is for him LMFAO

also now that i think about it, mobei jun should be kinda bad at flirting as well LOL so shang qinghua is like 90% sure that mobei jun sorta wants to kill him

bingplane having their weekly gossip sesh in a pillowfort like "man oki idk why they keep coming to the cafe if they hate us so much... but also man they make for good eye candy, if they werent such assholes, i could see having a crush" and then maybe a terrible game of truth or dare results in both of them daring each other to flirt with the Mean Eyecandy Man and now moliu are about to get Wrecked LMFAO

look basically i think that this sort of au could go in multiple very delicious directions but at the base, i just want evil comrades bingplane running a cafe together with all of the gap moe in the world LMFAO

[yaoireview]

Glinda and elphaba

...excuse me?

Glinda and- elpha... what are you SAYING RIGHT NOW?

...Those are WOMEN.... NOT MEN.... i'm god damn YAOI REVIEW..... NOT YURI REVIEW... oh my GOD..

This isn't funny! You've got a SICK sense of humor!

I think some people need a lesson on Yaoi right now.

(boys kissing. dont like, dont read)

WHAT IS YAOI?

its boys kissing.

just boys kissing.

And I don't mean it metaphorically or rhetorically or poetically or theoretically or any other fancy way. Its boys kissing. Straight. Up.

please let it be known that yaoi in some forms is innapropiate artwork of boys.. i dont see it that way.. its just boys kissing. keep your sick selves out of this.

you may not know this, but glinda and elphaba are NOT boys. check again, they're girls. (unless im wrong, in which COMMENT DOWN BELOW and tell ME what your favorite boys kissing is.)

You wicked fans... i cant even CALL you wicked.. you're STRAIGHT UP DEMENTED.. You people make me sick.

Look.. I'll do it but if you're not satisfied with what you find, just go over to Yuri Review's house since you LOVE them so much

GELPHIE, THE EVIDENCE AND REVIEW

I think this is gonna be pretty easy to prove the existence of, so im just gonna do this QUICK and simple.

What is This Feeling? Beginning Lyrics

This is definitely one of the smaller pieces of evidence but the lyrics at the beginning REALLY make it seem like they were gonna say they are in love.

You might just say "oh its just a joke its a joke of the song!! musicals LOVE jokes!!" but your pal in high school "jokingly" hit on a man, and now they're married? Still think its a bit?? ....yeah... me neither..

They literally kiss in the first novel

look man.. you're gonna have to take my word for this one.. because im not opening that book.. I've heard of the things that happens in the books and I'm not taking any chances. An article about it said this.. it may be false.. it may not be its kinda a guessing game with that sorta stuff

i may have also just grabbed the wrong quote though because they said it was heterosexual but I'm SURE it'll be fine

Ariana Grande's Comments

Ariana Grande HAS claimed that she thinks that her character is 'a little in the closet'.

You can trust Ariana Grande. She would never do anything bad

Ariana Grande is CLEARLY the most important person to speak out about the canonical ideas of yuri in this story

CONCLUSION

look... you must understand that i REALLY didn't enjoy this. I like wicked just fine i watched it opening weekend its just... not what i review... I review BOYS kissing.. not girls kissing..

Yaoi: 0/10

Yuri: 8.5/10 (or something like that as i said this isnt my profession, im kinda like a substitute teacher that just turned on a video)

[in-vtero]

umm what if we were sisters and we lived together and one day i got back from work and i was really exhausted (true story) and i was sleeping naked on my bed with the door open and you kept walking by and looking at my cunt, which just so happens to be perfectly presented for you, and at first you scold yourself for looking because thats your sister, but

eventually the blood rushes from your head to your cock and you falter a bit. "its not that big of a deal im just looking im not doing anything. is it really so bad that im turned on by seeing someone naked i mean cmon" i mean im sure lots of sisters have weird feelings about each other, you just dont talk about it, right? i mean seriously its not that big of a deal if you go in just to look. its fine. and honestly im not even awake so you can probably touch it too, i wont notice so no harm done. if i wake up you can just run out of the room and i wont even know. and if i dont even know you were touching me then who cares. i probably wouldnt notice if you slipped your shorts down and laid next to me, either. i mean i havent woken up so it mustve been a really long day, you could probably put a finger in me and i'd still be out cold. im getting all wet, so i probably like it. so really its not that bad or anything like seriously is it unethical if im obviously getting wet? if my cunt is dripping its probably because it needs to be fucked. well you cant go that far, thats just rape plain and simple, but if you rub your cock on me then its not really that bad. my body is literally asking you for it. just rub the head of your cock through the folds of my cunt, its probably fine. it feels really good and i'd want you to be happy right? so its fine. just keep grinding on me. im so warm and slick. if the tip slips in its not because you wanted it, if anything its my fault because im so damn wet. and if your cock is in me and im still not awake, then it must not bother me that much. so you should just keep going. dont go deeper than the tip, but stroke yourself while youre inside of your sisters cunt. stroke yourself and think of what a nasty big sis you are. you made so many excuses for yourself, but at the end of the day you're a pervert. you know it. you wanted to fuck your own sister, you freak. go on, moan while you feel how wet your sisters cunt is around the head of your cock. i cant believe youre actually doing this, this is so bad. this is so so bad. if anyone found out you'd be fucked. how do you think i'd feel if i woke up and saw you rutting into me like this? do you think i'd pretend im still asleep until you stop? do you think i'd ask you to fuck me? would i cry because my own sister defiled me? or would i push my hips back onto you? if i tried to protest would you come to your senses and stop or would you shove a sock in my mouth and tell me to take it? you've made it this far, you might as well push your whole length into me and spill your cum inside. let it all out.

[paradoxbeta]

de ce ai un rain world oc pe nume fat frumos please i must know (also zmeu. i see what you did there)

oh am i excited to talk about this. buckle in because it is a bit much

preemptive tldr: i have a rainworld adaptation of the făt-frumos tales where f-f stars as an overly prideful slugteen (pictured below looking moody) getting a body horror-y reality check

so! the name of this adaptation is the împărăție colony and as mentioned above its my little for-fun project based off of the original făt-frumos stories. for those who don’t know, f-f is a romanian folkloric character

some elements were changed (f-f is no longer the son of a king because there’s only one slugcat colony in this region, so i could only have a prince or a princess but not both if i wanted to keep the generic romance plot) but most were preserved, with f-f still having calul năzdrăvan (now a noble blue lizard steed inherited from his father) and with there still being the classic villains such as both balaur (infamous mutated red lizard) and zmeu (random iterator the slugcats abstracted into the Big Bad)

the story goes that the local iterator is collapsing and its bioprinters have gone haywire, so now it bleeds out nasty and highly mutagenic sludge. the local slugcat colony has not taken kindly to the deadzone and mutated fauna, but they also dont really understand what a bioprinter or hazardous chemical agent is, so they formed a mythological universe around the iterator

his name is zmeu, he’s a wretched 6 legged monster, he’s bleeding poison, he’s representative of all ill will and evil in the world, and all of his children are accursed nightmares. anything that’s been afflicted by zmeu gets the misnomer “child of zmeu” (misnomer because almost every "child of zmeu" was not born that way)

so in comes f-f: he’s the son of rege (who is again not actually the king), and rege was renowned for his incredible fighting prowess until the balaur got the best of him and left him unable to fight like he used to. f-f isn’t supposed to step up to his fathers position yet but his dad’s hand is forced, so he hastily passes on his trusted lizard (calul) and goes hey son, surprise! youre taking the mantle effective immediately

f-f eventually ends up on a mission to go slay zmeu and to find ileana, the colony leader’s daughter, who had gone missing very recently and who f-f also happens to have a fat crush on. so boldly he sets off with calul năzdrăvan

the story starts off very lighthearted and in its own head– f-f is young, rowdy, concerned with superficial things, and he’s had his ego gassed up by his colony which has its emphatic faith in him. he’s in a total fantasy world off to slay this big monster and come home as the hero with the girl, but as the story goes on, things get too real for him. balaur hunts him relentlessly and tests his grit, he sees the extent of the pollution and the environmental havoc, everything he's heard in mythos becomes less of a concept and more a frightening reality, and surviving in rainworld is just plain difficult, so his self confidence wanes. it reaches a breaking point when he eventually finds ileana, who is by now to his horror a child of zmeu

he does find his way to zmeu’s puppet chamber but it doesnt bring him any sense of completion. his only real options are to leave empty handed or to “kill” the puppet, both of which don’t solve anything... its all in all not a fun time but it teaches him some really important lessons about humility and about how small he really is in the world

its not a narratively complex or serious story and it can be cliché or even nonsensical at times, but i have a lot of fun with the characters, and im entertained by the idea of morphing a fun and shallow fantasy shindig into something frightening and slightly depressing over time

(also this ask reminded me to go back and add zmeu to the colony tag, thank you!) 

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for trying to eat a golden cow me and my crew found on an island after I attacked my captain for sacrificing 6 of our men?

Okay, so—I'm an adult man. I've been away at sea for a long while, twenty years in fact. The reason I left so many years ago was because I was sent off to fight the Trojans in a war. It was tense, and anxiety inducing as shit—but somehow we won because our captain managed to get us through it all. My captain (who I'll just call O for this story) is someone I've known for a long time. He's the brother of my wife, and we've been close for a very long time now. But, like.. okay, hold on, let me just keep explaining.

So, after we win the war—and after he apparently drops a baby off a tower because the mighty sky God Zeus told him to, we head out at sea. But I find out we have no food supplies. So I go to tell him we ran out. His response—'Oh, no worries! Let's just watch where the birds fly and see where they go so we can find somewhere to hunt food'. I think—'Okay, okay, kinda reasonable'. We find an island, and one of our scouts (who I'll call P) says he sees an island in the distance. But we see this weird glowing shit that we think is fire? So I decide to suggest we raid the place just to make sure there's no time to waste. But O refuses, and decides to straight up head into the island with P alone so they can find food themselves and so no one ends up dead. I'm thinking we don't actually know what's gonna happen, but.. hey! Hey, he's the captain here, right? Better to trust him. So he goes in. He comes back. Apparently these weird ass fucking alien things told them there was a cave to find food, so we search for it. We find it. We head inside. There's a bunch of fucking sheep everywhere, but hey! Free food, right? So we kill one. Then this MOTHERFUCKING CYCLOPS comes out. Not even kidding! Not even kidding—it comes out, and is like 'You killed my sheep.. it was my favorite.. blah blah blah'—and proceeds to LITERALLY ALMOST KILL MY CAPTAIN!! IM THINKING—HEY! MY CAPTAIN WILL GET US OUT OF THIS! AND HE TRIES! HE OFFERS THIS THING WINE THAT IT TAKES FOR SOME REASON, TELLS IT HIS NAME IS 'NOBODY', AND IM THINKING—MAYBE WE'LL GET OUT OF THIS! HA! NO! NO, IT PROCEEDS TO MURDER SEVERAL OF OUR MEN WITH OUR CLUB. SO WE'RE FREAKING THE FUCK OUT! BUT WE ATTACK ANYWAY. LONG STORY SHORT, P FUCKING GETS CRUSHED AND DIES. WE ESCAPE. BUT HEY, WE NEED FOOD EVEN THOUGH ALL OUR FRIENDS ARE DEAD, SO WE GO BACK IN AND BLIND THE THING! IT STARTS LIKE CRYING FOR SOME REASON?? AND THEN WE HEAR THESE OTHER DISTORTED VOICES WHO TURN OUT TO BE OTHER CYCLOPSES! WHO ARE THE LITERAL SIBLINGS OF THE CYCLOPS WE FOUGHT. I'M PANICKING AND THINKING WE SHOULD RUN, BUT NOOOOO.. turns out the Nobody thing ended up working though because the other Cyclops bitches left. So we go to get the sheep and leave. But then the captain turns right back around for some reason, and starts LITERALLY YELLING AT THE THING!! HE EVEN SAYS HIS NAME, THE NAME OF HIS KINGDOM, AND BASICALLY ENDANGERS EVERYONE JUST CUZ HE WAS BEING LIKE 'HEY BITCH LOL GET FUCKED YOU GOT SPARED BY A KING'. BUT I DONT SAY ANYTHING CUZ I GOTTA BE LOYAL, RIGHT??

I.. I don't even think I can say everything he did here to be honest. This man did so much shit! He willingly goes up to this weird ass island in the sky and gets help from a wind god who keeps whispering to all of us to open the bag—and I try to resist, but I can't cuz of the weird ass god magic shit, so I open the bag! We get blown all the way back to the 'Land of the Giants'. TURNS OUT THE MOTHERFUCKING GOD OF THE SEA HIMSELF IS THE CYCLOPSES DAD! HE KILLS HUNDREDS OF OUR MEN. BUT WR STILL HAVE THE WIND BAG SO O OPENS IT AND WE LAND AT THIS ISLAND THAT BELONGS TO A SORCERESS WHO TURNED OUR MEN INTO PIGS!! O GOES TO SAVE THEM EVEN THOUGH I'M LIKE 'Dude you're gonna fucking die you don't even know what she can do' AND SOMEHOW SUCCEEDS!! WE GO TO THE UNDERWORLD. I SEE P AND O'S MOM IN THERE. IM TRAUMATIZED. AND AFTER WE SEE THIS WEIRD ASS DRUG DEALER LOOKING PROPHET GUY, O SUDDENLY HAS A ANIME VILLAIN ARC MOMENT AND SHOUTS ABOUT HOW HES GONNA BE A MONSTER NOW. WE SAIL OUT. WE FIND SIRENS, SO WE KILL 'EM! BUT HE ORDERS WE 'CUT OFF THEIR TAILS AND LET THEM DROWN'!! CUZ THATS TOTALLY A SANE THING TO DO!! AND THEN WE SAIL THROUGH THE LAIR OF SCYLLA. I ADMIT I OPENED THE BAG CUZ I FELT KINDA BAD TO BE HONEST. O IS LIKE 'Ay man it's cool just take this torch real quick', SO I DO! SIX OF OUR MEN, ALL OF WHICH WERE HOLDING TORCHES (I THREW ONE DOWN WHEN I REALIZED WHAT WAS HAPPENING), PROCEED TO LITERALLY DIE. SO WHEN WE LEAVE AND I REALIZE HE JUST KILLED OUR MEN, I'M LIKE 'HEY MAN WHAT THE HELL???'. HES LIKE 'NAH BITCH I CANT SAY ANYTHING', SO I'M LIKE 'DUDE FUCK YOU' AND I START FIGHTING HIM! ONE OF OUR CREW MEMBERS STABS HIM AS HE LITERALLY THROWS ME TO THE GROUND. AND AFTER HES OUT, I HAVE TO CONVINCE EVERYONE NOT TO KILL HIM. WE FIND AN ISLAND WITH COWS. WE GET THERE AND TIE HIM UP. THEN WHEN O WAKES UP AS IM ABOUT TO KILL A COW, HE HAS THE AUDACITY TO BEG ME NOT TO KILL IT EVEN THOUGH WE HAVENT HAD FOOD IN SEVERAL WEEKS! I'M DESPERATE AT THIS POINT, RIGHT? SO I DONT LISTEN AND STAB IT. HE STARTS YELLING AT ME AFTER, SAYING WE'RE ALL DOOMED. WE RUN BACK TO THE SHIFT AS THE SKY GOES CRAZY WITH THUNDER. ZEUS SHOWS UP! I GET BLASTED CUZ O CHOOSES US TO DIE INSTEAD OF HIMSELF. AND NOW IM STUCK IN THE UNDERWORLD WRITING THIS..

God.. I feel like I'm talking to a therapist. Point is—am I the asshole?

[dreams-of-beloveds]

HORIKOSHI WHEN I CATCH YOU HORIKOSHI

why in the fuck were we left on cliffhanger for the end of season 7. i’m so- i don’t even know how to feel right now, because i wasn’t even expecting us to be left on cliffhanger, and THE NEXT SEASON DOESNT EVEN COME UNTIL AUTUMN R U KIDDING ME how am i supposed to cope?!?? sure i still have the ova’s and the films left to watch bUT STILL MAN I FEEL SO EMPTY RIGHT NOW DAMMIT

god i have so much to say about season 7—not only was watching the todoroki family the most devastating thing ive ever witnessed—their family history is so intricately tangled and i really wonder if touya is still alive (i haven’t read the manga, i hope he is, and i don’t wanna read it online dammit) i want to see them come to a proper closure so bad i need them to be okay with each other even if endeavor isn’t forgiven (which is honestly valid) i want this family-against-touya-to-protect-everyone-else situation to bring them together in some way dammit!

and then we had the togachako moment. oh lord. oh lord i love them, they’re so—yeah sure i see them as a queer ship, but god fucking dammit after hikimo finally came to accepting her smile and her way of showing love being “normal” because of ochaco’s words and coming to the conclusion that all she ever needed was to “give blood like how she wanted to have someone else’s” HIMIKO BETTER NOT BE DEAD DAMMIT DONT TELL ME THAT CONFESSION MIDAIR AND THE SHARING HIMIKO’S BLOOD TO KEEP OCHACO ALIVE WAS ALL FOR NOTHING

oh god and fucking hawks. oh jesus. i wasn’t expecting his quirk to be taken completely. i honestly have no idea what his ending holds, but god dammit i hope he’s alive, i know his worst fear was getting his quirk taken when that’s what made him “the best” in the first place because he was literally groomed to become a hero due to his quirk despite growing up around villains, i can’t imagine how he’d be feeling—but fuck, fuck the burden he must’ve carried for having to kill bubaigawara even though he didn’t want to, he just found a genuine friend when working undercover and yet, he almost had to face the wrath of the sad man’s death legion through himiko oh man i couldn’t stand seeing him just,, fall, after everything

all might, oh, all might. this man is in his 50s and yet still can’t let his work go can he? this damn workaholic. but seeing him with his support items all including his students quirks 🥹💔 this man adores his students so much, if he doesn’t fucking stay alive after defeating afo i’m gonna fucking riot, RIOT I TELL YOU i sure fucking hope this isn’t the ending nighteye had foreseen about all might’s death because i swear to god, hell i fucking know nighteye would’ve been so mad seeing all might go into that war against afo quirkless with only support items he would’ve been MAD AND YK WHAT SO AM I BITCH SO HE BETTER COME OUTTA THIS ALIVE

and hell we don’t even know what the situation with aizawa, present mic and kurogiri is??? WHAT HAPPENS I NEED TO KNOW I NEED THEM ALIVE i don’t fucking know if shirakumo ever comes back, he was dead to begin with, i don’t think he’s gonna but damn can aizawa and hizashi get the closure they deserve? thats all i want for them, for them to be able to work alongside shirakumo’s “soul” one last time and have some form of closure dammit

and well, i left bakugo katsuki at the end of this fucking rant because i need him alive. i remember seeing so many damn parallels of kudo—and how his expression in afo’s hands looked so defeated, as if he was ready to die for yoichi, meanwhile katsuki, fucking bakugo katsuki, he’s not ready to die, yes he fucking moved through that pain to blast one last move in shigaraki’s face knowing there was a possibility of not making it but GOD DAMMIT I DOUBT HE WANTS TO LEAVE IZUKU BEHIND NOT YET and him fucking talking to all might’s vestige. god i genuinely was bawling so much. the voice, the expression, god just looked so, so vulnerably soft which he’s never let himself before, except for when he apologises to izuku to bring him back to UA. but god fuck, how- what- HOW DO I COPE Y’ALL HELP ME SOMEONE TALK TO ME IM LOSING MY FUCKING MIND

there’s so much fucking more i could yap about right now but it’s 1:15 am, my hands are hurting, my eyes are burning from crying so much after it ended, and my brain is dead. i can’t do this man

P.S. as someone who holds too much emotional intelligence and is studying psych, you can never make me hate any villain because i will always understand their pain too well, even if i don’t justify certain actions

[rainbadinosaur]

We are NOT doing well tonight fam 💃🏼 Crying in the club? Nah, we got a fucking monsoon up in this bitch

Reasons in tags, but it's long so buckle up chucklefucks 😎

[ruporas]

studies from the finale

[freakinator]

thinking about kab and the thing about her i think is she knows just enough to keep herself safe Generally but not enough to really predict what would happen should something more... complicated??? unforeseen??? idk whats the right word to use but something not covered by someones reputation and/or vids happen, believe it or not this also affects her view of clownpierce (we'll get to that)

for example, mapicc has a reputation for being an violent, angry, & impulsive guy and nothing else which makes sense but is incredibly surface level and something that only really works if you dont have a lot of experience working with him

another is reddoons, his betrayal after the base incident while shocking is not unforeseen but his reputation as being a guy whos seen as being a reasonable person whos fairly loyal to his team made it seem like something he wouldnt do even tho it absolutely is

regarding how it affects her view of clown, since he isnt perfectly aligned with his reputation she instead pivots in the complete opposite direction and forgiving basically every crime he does even tho hes something much more mild and complicated than either his reputation or her view of him will ever be (think madonna-whore complex which is especially obvious when it comes to kabs vs woogies view of him)

another side effect of this Just Enough amount of knowledge aside from being blinded by her own expectations is that it frustrates ppl who think shes oversimplificating things (like me and seemingly several other tumblr users as well) especially when she claims that shes objectively correct and the smartest in the room at any given moment

how this roughness in her analysis affects her in the server still has yet to be fully seen but we do still have at least a couple months until the end but 'til then shes just gonna keep stumbling as more and more complicated situations pop up as is typical in lifesteal to happen and eventually shes gonna have to learn to adapt or else she'll be suffering the consequences one way or another

[writer-room]

Hey. The Finders have no idea that Bonzle was captured. Fritz and Spitz are still waiting, playing video games in the Monastery, for Cole to bring their sister out of hiding now that the blood moon is over. Geo is still sitting by the window, watching and waiting for a dragon on the horizon to return his kid safe and sound. Cole took a very unsure Bonzle, assured them all everything would be okay, and they'd be back soon. He promised he'd find a way to protect her.

Don't think about how they'll smile when Cole finally trudges back, happy to know he's okay. Especially don't think about the Finders stopping, looking out over the group, and how Cole can't look them in the eyes when they turn to him and ask; where's Bonzle?

[luck-of-the-drawings]

FOR A BEAT OF HEART, THE BREATH IS SHOT. AND WITHIN A BREATH, THE HEART IS CAUGHT. THE PIPES ARE BURSTING, UNDER GREAT STRESS, BOLTS TORN ASUNDER, MAKING A MESS. A FINAL COUGH, A FINAL RETCH, A GOREY SLOUGH, CLAIMED BY WRETCH.

[pleasedontcareaboutme]

It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry

( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)

(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)

[bloodcoveredgf]

longlegs is a movie about mother/daughterhood for real. throws up thinking about it actually

[triglycercule]

i feel like horror would have sourdough starter. he doesn't even use it to bake he just keeps it alive like a funny little experiment. the yeast in that starter will never get to experience the fulfillment of becoming bread unfortunately

and then he totally gets mad at dust and killer if they dont take care of it properly when he can't. WDYM THE STARTER OVERFLOWED!!! YOURE SUPPOSED TO ADD LESS WATER!!!! that's his baby guys he named it and decorated the jar and EVERYTHING 💔