#so little brain power to do them
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i have several wips and a draft i haven’t finished this weekend may be my busiest (i will continue to procrastinate and play ctrumble)
#i havent drawn anything in so long#i have to draw the twins i have to draw tank i have to draw so many things#so many things#so little brain power to do them
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[OLD ART ALERT] A COLLECTION OF SCENES FROM THE GILLIONS CATSCRATCH ARC THAT BROUGHT ME GREAT JOY. i love fishy chips especially when its just gillion being delirious and violent and hostile
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#jrwi riptide spoilers#JUST NOTICED A MILLION MISTAKES FUUUUUUUUCK BUT WWHATEVERRRRR IF I STARE AT THIS ANYMORE IM GONNA HHUURRRLLL#SO I REALLY LIKE FISH AND CHIPS RIGHT. IVE BEEN IN LOVE W THE SHIP EVER SINCE THAT NAT 20 KISS#BUT I THINK I SHIP IT WRONG. OR LIKE. I AM CORRECT BUT EVERYONE SHIPS THEM DIFFERENTLY#THE FISH N CHIPS I SEE EVERYWHERE ELSE IS SO FLOWERY AND SWEET AND ROMANTIC. AND THATS NICE! THAT STUFFS NEAT#but gillion and chip would NEVERRRR enter anything similar to a romantic relationship. chips too damaged and gillions too uninterested#I LIKE MY FISH N CHIPS ONE SIDED AS FUCK#bc 2 gillion chip is his best friend in the whole wide world but hes also kinduvagross little man that took him a MINUTE to really warm up2#but to CHIP gillion is this powerful and gorgeous and heroic paragon of destiny and his best friend in the whole world who will#bring about the eschaton. 'i didnt believe in destiny until i met you' until i met a champion radiating with a light thatll alter the world#OHH REMEMBER THE FIRST ICE ARENA?he was so mad.still probably shaking from the ordeal.NEVER had he felt true divine radiance CLEAVE through#his SOUL like that.do you remember that moment in the forest w the bugs. an alien from the ocean; lacerating the land w lightning#when the realization flickered in chip for a moment.that the thing standing before him was more powerful than he could ever fathom#remember when grizz mentioned that the nat20 kiss was the 'best kiss chip ever experienced'. that has nothing to do w this. where was i.#LOST MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT. BUT HEY. I THINK at the beginning chip absolutely knew that gill was smth grand n powerful n scary#when gillion revealed what exactly the prophecy was;chip got defensive and mad.sure he was sleep deprived but OOH. HES SCARED!#he believes gillion too! he believes that his destiny is to eradicate either the sea or land and that scares him!#but then he gets past it bc ultimately he trusts his bestfriend gillion so so much. he fuckin loves this dude.#he would throw himself intothe path of fire for this dude. he would boat across the ocean for this dude.he would build arenas for this dude#even if this dude will end half the world.even if this dude wields the power and the obligation to eradicate him at any second.#even if this dude is going to throw himself into harms way for his own comrades.even if this dude is just going to sacrifice himself.#one way or another one shall die for the other.these self-sacrificial bastards click so well with eachother!!#chip believes his body is best used to pave roads and gill believes his body is destined to pave prosperity.WHATEVER!!#i really love their dynamic!! they care for eachother so much!in MY heart tho. the icing on the cake here is the fantasy that chip is#just a bit more In Love w gillion than he realizes. like this powerful fish guy is HOT and PRETTY and KIND and FUNNY and LOYAL and STRONG#but gillion would never rly feel that same sort of attraction towards chip. its just not rly his thing. aroace as fuck man.#thats how it is in MY little heart atleast. and i sit here and play w my touys in my brain n i explore my silly lil one sided fish y chips.
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I had a shrink appointment today and while I could not see it I knew my doc was going through the five stages of grief while I explained my fool proof strategy for doing my t shots despite a crippling fear of needles: By abusing my vastly more crippling fear of being an inconvenience.
My mother and I play phasmophobia together every week. she usually has a pretty limited time to do this bc she's like. a doctor and a college professor whos always busy. So I asked her to just. hold me to doing them. We don't start playing until the shot is done. so my needle fear doesn't matter because now it's Wasting™ her time and I have to do it quick. Using one neurosis to defeat another.
It's a horrible coping mechanism because it's feeding the inconvenience fear, but it is definitionally a coping mechanism.
#im a 'has a panic attack during every injection or iv theyve ever gotten' type of scared of needles#no it genuinely has nothing to do with pain the needle itself is the fear not the using of it#like i told this story before but i have these sewing pins with lil bow ties on them and i had to get my dad to take all the blue ones out#because they were triggering the same part of my brain iv needles do#just the sight of them with the rest of my cute sewing pins was a problem#And the fear of being an inconvenience is so bad i cant eat around people or be in crowded spaces or talk at get togethers#without being paralyzed by fear of Being In The Way. its so bad ive been avoiding using my power chair bc it makes me take up#slightly more space than i would just standing. and i never took my manual out and about because i moved too slowly in it#and i dont take my crutches on planes despite using them everyday bc they cant fold up like my cane can and so are In The Way#one of the big reasons i dont use the chairs in stores is they have back up alarms. and i hate making noises in public#Yes this is part of the reason i want a Rottweiler for my service dog because i want people to look at the doggie Not Me.#I like people! i like being friendly and talking and making little connections with strangers!!! But i cant be the one to initiate or#be In The Way of a peaceful moment#dont look at me#this is also a big issue i have with making friends or changing the nature of a relationship because like. im autistic#I have Rules for social interactions memorized that i will follow. but moving people from one category to another#is difficult. It is too the point i had problems for litteral years talking to my boyfriend as though#he was a person i knew well and cared deeply for because i kept using the 'rando guy im flirting with on the Internet' script#I have commissioners i want to be friendlier with but my brain says No Stop that is an Impolite and Overly informal way to talk to#a customer™ despite them not being customers when they arnt in the commission process#im like thise huskies who are scared of carpet because its Different than the floor they're currently standing on#its Too different:(#and to be clear i am Completely aware of how none of this makes logical sense and is in fact deeply self destructive#That does not fix it. it is so ingrained in my head that im certain i could convince my brain to let me bite off my own fingers#before i could convince it to let me talk to someone at a help desk or ask my order be corrected at a restaurant
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I skip all Hiccstrid scenes in Rtte because buffstrid is not canon💔
#am i mentally ill?#maybe#but do I also possess the power to redraw Hiccstrid scenes with buffstrid#yes#I do#hiccup#Astrid#hiccup x astrid#biblically accurate hiccstrid#hiccstrid#buffstrid#httyd#Rtte#shit post#I wish I was joking#I’ve fried my brain to the point where I just cannot watch them#and if I’m being honest a lot of the Hiccstrid scenes are kind of hard to watch anyway😭#don’t get me wrong I absolutely love the ship#however#they make me kringe#yes kringe with a k#because the normal ‘cringe’ word is used too often and too negatively just to insult people having fun#So I’m using kringe and hoping it doesn’t already mean something extremely offensive#okay I googled it it’s fine#I am now dubbing ‘kringe’ to be a friendlier version of ‘cringe’ and only to be used in a situation where you are expressing your opinion -#-and not directly insulting someone else just because they’re a little different#what the fuck was I originally on about#oh yeah I kind of find canon Hiccstrid kringe#hot take mayhaps?#idk my opinion man🤗
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KILL!!!!!!!!!
#my post#this is so mean. why did i make this#but also....... the gun is in your hands now#i'll admit that it's my fault for putting the gun in your hand... however i've no say in what you choose to do with it#will you pull the trigger and accept whatever happens from now on? will you give yourself into the role forced upon you?#no one will know anything if you don't say anything. there will be no consequences or repercussions to this choice#but you will know. and you will need to live with that knowledge for the rest of your life#a gun not fired is like an itch not stratched#in the end i have no control over what you do... but free will is a funny thing#the brain is very susceptible to suggestion... everything we see and experience will remain with us in some way#if that's the case then how much control do we really have in our lives? how do we separate what we really want vs what we're told to want?#things like hunger... desire... they're all things the body asks for. but are they things that we truly want?#or are they merely a mechanism built into us for the sake of survival?#everything blends into everything. your past actions will inform your current actions. you're the only one who's ever lived your life#you're the only one who will ever live your life#little variables and experiences we all share... but the order varies greatly from person to person. everything is just a series of events#the way i see the world is different than the way you see it regardless of how similar they are#what choice will you make now? and how does it differ from the choice you would've made a week ago? a month? a year? does it differ at all?#does free will truly exist? i think it does... but not in the way most people think it exists#you and i... we might differ on that thought. or we might not.#regardless of whatever i've been rambling about right now... refusing to make a choice is still a choice you make. life is ironic like that#does one of them really have to go? that's for you to decide now#i've merely chosen to put the gun in your hand. to make you aware of the possibilities#so i hope you realize what power your choices have#dca fandom#daycare attendant#yeah sometimes i just say things that i think are deep but they're really not#i hope the choices i make have an effect on others. even if it's just one person...#if i can make even just one person think about something they wouldn't have normally thought about then isn't that a win?#life is a series of choices... ''it'd be great if you could see a figure of light by the time you die'' ♡
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i have been drawing the same scene…. with the same character….. for almost four years now….. from @passion-rising ‘s very fun very good comic that you should read. i have always liked this bit with blue and i made it known. Four times over by now 💛

(in Chronological order)
#this one stuck with me from the beginning. the old one is . BAD.#i hope i improved. even a little?#i love tswfby bro. its almost been 4 years and it’s STILL LATCHED ON IN MY BRAIN#tswfby#*the power of hyperfixation shines within you#i was pretty young for that first one. be kind#there are so many old drawings i did that i would like to do again. i would like to look at them side by side#AND YES I FORGOT HER CUTE LITTLE HAIRCLIPS IN THE LAST ONE TOO
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH/pos
I FINALLY got around to watching the new Dragon's Rising clip and just- OMG
First, the entire lavashipping community has been FED
Like, every interaction those two had was just 🤌
PLUS, them being uncles to Arin and Sora!? WONDERFUL
Also- CHRONOSTEEL!?!? HELL YEAH
I mean, vengestone is cool and all, but the concept of chronosteel was so cool and had so much freaking potential that the og show(s) did absolutely nothing with, so THIS IS AWESOME TO SEE.
PLUS EVERYBODY SWITCHING PARTS AND USING EACHOTHER'S POWERS!?!? SO. COOL.
Lobbo is love, Lobbo is life, LOBBO ANGRY
The little rocky-fire dudes are back. Love to see them
"Here, take my legs," lol. Sounds like something out of the Lego Movie universe, but it is also so normal for Ninjago, considering we've had mechs since season 1
Fight choreography looking EXCELLENT per usual 👌 (Also Arin just kicking and climbing around like normal while everyone else is in mechs. KING 👑)
MECHANIC IS BACK 🎉🎉
Fire vs. Ice Dragon beam clashes>>>>>
SORA USING THE FIRE POWER IN THE LEGS OF KAI'S MECH TO FLY. LOVE THIS.
The fact that we only got little snippets of Kai using his fire power to fly like Iron Man before they learned Airjitzu will haunt me forever. Like, ITS SUCH A COOL IDEA. And was obviously useful every time we did get to see it. Plus, it was like the FIRST THING he did with his powers after getting them. Just- UGH (Sorry, siderant over)
Love the new suits, too.
Overall, it was just 🤩🤩🤩
I'm so FREAKING excited dude, like IM VIBRATING-
#ninjago#ninjago kai#ninjago cole#arin ninjago#ninjago sora#dragon's rising#lavashipping#ninjago dragons rising#there are probably more applicable tags but my brain isnt working rn so#my only. ONLY qualm with this is that it looks like they're gonna retcon the qualities of chronosteel for a bit#cause in s7 when the time blades absorbed the time twins' powers it just completely took them#like the crystals from s4 (also an underexplored concept imo)#but now it looks like they can just channel elemental power WHICH IS STILL SUPER COOL#and not too different so idrc#cuz its either that little retcon#or kai cole and sora just straight up trap their powers in these mechs and have to figure out how to get them back#which would be...interesting??? ig???#BUT OTHER THAN THAT ITS PEAK#10/10 have already watched again#and will continue to do so#several more times
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Thinking and headcannoning the shit out of angry Stampede! Vash and how Wolfwood deals with that first thing in the morning because i think him getting angry about something and letting down some of his mask in those genuine moments of anger is super awesome
Before we continue I have not read the manga yet so if you read something incredibly obvious or redundant to your experience, well, haha or something OQNENW
This is a VERY LONG Vashwood ramble I have to put SOMEWHERE or I will explode, so feel free to join if you want.
Vash is an overall very expressive person right? very emotional too generally, but the thing is I like drawing people getting angry so that’s what you are getting from me.
And I also often think about the fact that it’s Wolfwood and Knives the ones that have seen him be like that (most often than not towards them).
Wolfwood specifically, I think that he WOULD get scared because when Vash is angry angry, he just seethes and looks like he is three seconds away from being love and peace to hate and war. These are probably the moments in where he carries the most resemblance to Knives, and to anybody that has experienced the man firsthand they know how scary that is because everyone and their moms knows that he does not hesitate to resort to murder if he is upset about something or if it’s inconvenient to him, so it is rightfully terrifying to even think of him getting mad.
Now take the same idea and apply it to Vash, he is so friendly and playful all the time and he gets kicked around all the time too, that it would be almost impossible to imagine him getting angry in a genuine way. That is UNTIL his ideals and morals are being countered or challenged by someone and THAT’S when people are gently reminded that oh yeah he can get mad too, and really fucking mad at that.
The peak of his anger doesn’t last for too long because he tries to level himself quickly, he is aware of how he can look when he gets like that, and it would be showing a little too much about how he is not very human in nature for what he is comfortable with. I think that when he gets mad his expression turns into something very vulnerably honest, to the point in where he unconsciously looks imposing and demanding, paired with his uncanny vibes it really is a treat and anyone at the other end of it would be other than also upset, quite scared. Like Wolfwood.
There is something very obviously other about Vash and he has the privilege of knowing just exactly why that is, and considering that his brother has a record for being a certain way when angry, knowing what he is does not soothe him at all. Then again, Wolfwood cares for him still and he is a stubborn guy himself, so even when most likely scared shitless, he would not move his ground, and the only thing that reassures him that things will be fine, is Vash’s pacific nature and also knowing that he cares deeply for him too, but that is a thing he would not think too much about other than the flash of thought that it is in the moment.
Vash is petty as hell too, he remains silent and gives the cold shoulder to the other person that was involved in the argument, and it is usually, once again, Wolfwood at the end of that stick. Wolfwood is a “mind your business and I mind mine” kind of guy considering he never asks things, but traveling with that idiot and having to be with him 24/7 and being given the silent treatment has to be uncomfortable at best incredibly annoying at worst. So even though he won’t change his opinion most of the times, he still insists on talking to him idly sometimes after they argue, something he would usually not do.
All Vash ever responds with are the necessary answers, at first shrugs or nods, then very short and to the point sentences, he eventually warms up to him again and they talk the way they usually do; and just like that things seems to be at bay for the time being until the next unavoidable argument comes by.
No matter how many times they argue, when things escalate and Vash begins to show his very honest anger, Wolfwood’s instincts would be screaming at him to stop it and to get away, because whatever Vash is feeling is reeking of a danger that no matter how enhanced he might be, he is NOT gonna make it through whatever will happen to him worse comes to worst. But when has he ever actually heard his instincts when it comes to dealing with Vash. So he always replies and stays.
He is somehow one of the very few (almost non existent) people who can deal with Vash when he is like that, one thing is getting mad at Vash and the other is him getting mad at you, and he has bite alright, he will say things that can come across as hurtful and very venomous when he starts to get more visceral, and yeah the whole predator kind of vibe he can give off is there too.
Maybe Wolfwood also knows how hurt Vash would feel if he retreats because of how scared he feels and that’s why he doesn’t back away. It would be reasonable if he did, hell he doesn’t owe him shit for all he knows and he would be in his whole right to run away scared if he wanted, but for one it would be too cowardly, and two Vash would be once again pushed away for being something not human, and that would be a scar he would carry for his whole life and Wolfwood does not want to be a part of that. So that’s another reason to the ever growing list of “why don’t I just let this be”.
There is an odd sense of comfort in seeing Vash get mad, knowing that the man knows his ground, that even he has lines he won’t allow anyone to cross, that he can allow himself to feel something genuine for once and not the fake little things he is always doing. It is the positive side Wolfwood tries to see in those situations and what he has to remind himself over and over again so he doesn’t flinch away. Good thing he has some practice in arguments thanks to his little siblings back at the orphanage, practice he refuses to let go and holds on to dear life because he needs any crumb of reason at those moments.
At some point when hands are involved, when a clench to the shirt and a push to the shoulder escalates to shoving the other to the ground and a punch to the gut, Wolfwood goes full survival mode because no one told him that Vash was THAT strong and THAT heavy and THAT intimidating. He could have guessed after having watched the man fight. He is capable and strong, he usually moves with a certain preciseness and care under the goofy display, he may twirl around and stumble when dodging, but he is dodging and also landing hits.
He knows that Vash is strong and that he is also incredibly careful. But that’s when he is in all his senses with a mostly cool head, so having him hovering over Wolfwood pressing him down rendering him to the ground while very obviously mad and trying to prove his point, he freezes before he can react and fight back.
Those are the times where Vash feels the most guilty after the fight from what Wolfwood can gather and wildly assume. If him not eating (again) for days or even refusing to acknowledge Wolfwood unless necessary is any sign. That behavior can last over a week which is a little too long for Wolfwood’s peace of mind. So he starts poking again because apparently arguing again is the only way to make the bastard answer more. And it usually works, some nudging here and there and putting lemon with salt to the wound seems to do the trick.
It entails more shouting and screaming at each others faces their flaws that they already know like a script, until things start to calm down when Wolfwood reassures him that he is tougher than he looks, and that no matter what he won’t just leave Vash in a ditch, and if they were going to travel together for the future to come they would have to learn how to sort things out. Something he knows neither of them will probably never learn, but it is what it is and that’s what he can resort to at the moment, and it does seem to satisfy Vash a little. So once they are done, and they go their separate ways, never too far from each other, Vash starts to nibble at his food and says or asks little things to Wolfwood, and just like that they are good to go again.
They are both aware that addressing out loud how fucking scary Vash can be at those raw moments of anger, would be like painting a line of ‘I am this and you are that so we shouldn’t be doing this’ that neither of them would actually want to have. So even when yeah it can be horribly scary and surprisingly intimidating to deal with Vash when he is angry, Wolfwood is willing to stay and fight with him if that’s what he wants, if that’s what he needs. Even if it’s starting to take a toll on him. He is getting used to it though so it will be fine.
Probably.
#MY BRAIN IS ALWAYS ROTATING THEM LIKE A CHICKEN IN MY HEAD#The bickering and the fights and the conflicts they have are an important piece of them methinks#so it is impossible for me to not think of them like that all the time. I just think that their whole power dynamic is very interesting#because realistically Vash is very much capable of doing a lot of things to prove his point but he never does thanks to his philosophy#something that has saved WW from being absolutely obliterated into little pieces I believe#I bet Vash’s intrusive thoughts must be WILD because ain’t no way that man holds back from so much violence without it marinating inside#of his mind okay just saying#fellas is it gay to be kind of into your bro pinning you to the ground when he is in emotional distress and you are scared as fuck?#trigun#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun stampede#vash#wolfwood#nicholas trigun#vashwood#lenssi rambles#lenssi writes#because that’s too fucking long.#I just thought of this but I think that Vash starts to let himself express more of his anger with each argument they have#like at first he is more wary. still upset but careful bc as I mentioned at the beginning he knows what he looks like when he is that upset#but after seeing that WW doesn’t really make a big reaction other than ofc arguing back he sort of starts to just#let himself go a little more. it’s not exactly the preferable outcome. but for once Vash is able to get mad and shout and express himself#almost fully with someone. and a part of him knows that WW can handle it. that he is capable of going through it#it’s a part of Vash that he doesn’t like when he’s in such a volatile state of being. but there is comfort in knowing that WW can take it#and that WW will answer back too. with just as much bite as he does#oooh I’m so normal about them oooh I lie a lot also
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so uhh i DID start writing again but this time its w my Riptide Cowboy Au Thats Also Just An Animorphs Au. here check out this very small bit of it. (under the cut is an OLD doodle page that i made based around this idea)
#ITS AN ANIMORPHS AU BABY AND THAT MEANS THAT THERES YEERKS BABY OOH YEAH#I LOVE YEERKS THEYRE JUST LITTLE SLUGS THAT CRAWL INTO YOUR BRAIN#im very happy w my descriptions in this lil snippet. i hope it comes across as scary as i wish it to be#im also still very happy w this doodle page. check out chip he has a pickaxe earring now#jay also comes from an airforce family. instead of RAFT its called CRAFT#yknow like air craft. teehee. also instead of the planet o MANA im thinkin o calling it either LIFE or STAMINA#yknow like how ina game u have ur health bar n mana bar n you get what i fuckin mean#OKAY AND ILL ALSO MAKE A CONFESSION. I HAVNT READ ANIMORPHS SINCE ELEMENTRY SCHOOL#IVE BEEN MEANING TO READ IT AGAIN. BUT IT STILL HAD SUCHAN IMPACT ON ME I THINK I REMEMBER ENOUGH#i wont be following any Exact canon of animorphs bc yknow what this is a different planet. or somethingm#yes i DO plan on giving the trio the power to morph#and yes i DO plan on making C.R.A.F.T entirely infiltrated by yeerks. jays dad is especially taken already#ayvas also been taken for a very very long time. even before she died#im thinking edyn in this au would also be taken. teehehee. her and her yeerk work together tho maybe#OOH lizzie is out there also. running w a big n awesome caravan of bandits. caspian is an alien but im not sure what kind yet#yknow whjat i could inject whatever wacky alien shit i want in this au. my world. my world. my world.#anyway if u feed me ideas i might eat them. i might eat them. i feel so fuckin possessed tofay#EVERYTHING IS SO DARK HEEEEEL[P!!! HELP MEEE!!! HEEEEELLP!!!!!!!!!
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okay trying to be coherent now. (it wont work cause its night and i cant be normal at night)
so as soon a silco meets powder he just... hugs her and accepts her willingly without any alterior motive like it would better for silco to leave powder but he doesnt because as soon as he meets her he decides that this is his daughter and he is going to keep this child.
now my father cant even accept me now. after fucking years of me trying and working my ass of for his approval he just cant be bothered i guess. but silco just does it and freaks me the fuck out. because a father!??!?! loving his daughter!?!?!?!? unconditionally!?!?!??!
and jinx is also comfortable around silco. she does his eye drops because he trusts her and she trusts him and i think my father would rather naw off his own leg than let me do that to him.
my father pretends to be a good man around other people. he loves children, hes funny hes smart hes good with his own kids and everyone believes him because who would believe me over him? hes a bad father though. a terrible father he doesnt listen to me he doesnt care about my interests and i feel like i cant tell him anything i cant do anything to make him proud. but hes still - however much I hate it - a 'good person.'
but silco is a terrible person and he doesnt even try to hide it. he hits he bribes and he doesnt care who gets in his way because he is getting what he wants if you like it or not. but around jinx hes - im not going to say good because he can do a lot better - a father to jinx and him and jinx are father and daughter no matter how fucked up it might be. he accepts he no matter because to him she is perfect even if its a rubbish concept of perfect. so silco is a terrible person and a - kinda - good father.
because i imagine when you watch it as someone who has a good relationship with your father you think silco is terrible and he is! but to me hes everything a father should be even if hes a monster. Hes protective hes caring and he trusts her he actually likes spending time with her and not just because hes her father and its a duty because he isnt jinxs father. so maybe i sound like a broken record but silco is everything i want my father to be and my father is still himself.
#another faceless girl#arcane#a little sneak peak of what i saw when i opened this draft:#Silvo loves power at first sigh = my daddy issues????#Arcane = daddy issues!?!?!?!#I like silvo cause he's a good dad and a bad person I don't like my dad cause he's a good person and a bad dad????#Can't be coherent?!?! Help!#honestly i dont know what I was on either.#but ive been trying and failing to make this post so here it is even though its rambly and repetitive its mine#i do still ahve more thoughts i just need to figure out how to get them through the weird mass of “ajedkkejebej” in my brain#good golly gosh i cant spell#can you tell their my favourite characters#i am obsessed#i skip kver the piltover bit because i dont really care about jayce and viktor#(my best friends obssesed with them and she'll just tell me what happens)#and i just watch lke vi and cait and jinx#the undercity (and caitlyn) gang#i have a problem help#i cant formulate how many thoughts i cant write down are in my head rn#grrrr i need to transmit them to you#telepathically. come here.#its just they are eveything to me because if i was that crazy#my father would have shipped me off years ago and gotten on with his perfect life.#i need to ask jinx how she got her father to love her#what are the cheatcodes jinx tell me#they just trust each other so much. like too much its an unhealthy relationship but i also ahve an unhealthy relationship with my father#so whats one more for the pile!?#i hate my dad#daddy issues#arcane = My daddy issues!!!
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I’m here to bother you again!!!

You don’t have to if you don’t want to but maybe dark ship bingo with timjay or brudick????
hELLO i love being bothered by you this is delightful omg thank you, i would love to

Here is JayTim, I can't believe I only got one bingo for them. Ironically I genuinely don't view Jason and Tim as family, even when I'm not shipping them, I think they're tentative allies at best and you can only brother-ify them if you're doing very generously OOC fluff, a la WFA-style. They're absolutely toxic and codependent on each other's existence, Tim wouldn't exist without Jason and Jason is Undeniably Weird about Tim, but not brothers so I can't check off the familial squares. Also, I have no idea if I've been blocked by 10+ people, but it'd be funny if I am. And funnily enough, I don't think Tim or Jason are vanilla in any capacity even when they're not fucking. Especially not Tim, that boy is Certified Weird.

and ofc BruDick I nearly blacked out the whole board because they absolutely are weird and unwell. Some of these only apply to certain AUs of BruDick (like an idea I have rattling in my skull rn with Talon!Dick) but most of it applies to them all the time. I really need to write some fucked up BruDick, it's tragic I haven't yet. Right now the two fics I'm working on are a weird JayDick and a more fluffy DamiDick, but I have Plans™ for BruDick too. They are the OG and deserve their flowers for being the most toxic mess you've ever seen.
#necrotic answerings#batcest#jaytim#brudick#i loved this so dearly ty your asks mean everything to me <3#so do your tags on my posts you reblog i love your thoughts you Get It™#when i say timjay isn't brotherly i am mostly referencing pre-flashpoint but i don't think they're familial in the new-52 or rebirth either#i haven't read a *ton* of rebirth but knight terrors: robin was *not* brotherly and idk why ppl try to read it like that#shipping brain aside i think they can like each other in canon. get along be friends. if dc actually tried to put work into developing that#but it's not brotherly. they may both view dick as a brother. but that axis point doesn't make *them* siblings and I'll die on that hill#brudick is far more complciated because they're father/son/brothers/mentor/mentee/rivals/friends all at once#it entirely depends the comic#but i don't enjoy them as a nuclear father/son either and i think making their relationship that destroys nuance#*especially* if we're talking early pre-flashpoint or pre-crisis#it's not devoid of fatherly love but it's not defined by fatherly love either#they're complicated little guys who are barely on speaking terms half the time <3#you can tell when i get passionate about something bc my typing style changes entirely.#talking about myself? no capitals bc i'm boring as the hate anon put#talking about the ships? all uppercase and proper grammar. we must be Professionals™#anyway i loved doing this it made me rlly Think about what dynamics i like about both ships this was delightful#of all the batcest ships i think jaytim and brudick get the trophies for Most Unwell#and damitim can clock in at third#i don't yuck anyone's yum who wants to domesticate jaytim or brudick the fluffy fics can be cute and power to you#but it's not how i fundamentally ship them and i don't have interest in writing them clean or healthy
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Tbh I'm surprised nobody else has brought up the idea of Richard being abused too
It feels like a lot of potential for it and an explanation (aside from their status) as to why Roy never got help for it either -- Richard thought it was normal.
Now this is just making me imagine a scene where Carmen remarks that Roy will "grow out of it" (it being his behavior) like Richard did in front of the other Hatz and Ross and Robert just share a Look
Anddd now I'm wondering how much Carmen knows
TW for discussions of fictional CSA/SA and mentions of alcoholism
Me too, I thought it would be an obvious assumption but I guess not.
Exactly, I’ve seen the fandom explore Carmen and Roy’s relationship regarding his CSA but never with Richard. I think it’s ashamed because there’s a lot you can write for the relationship, even outside of their CSA.
Omg that’s a good scene idea. The Hatzgang are realized there is a deeper issue, and Roy has to unfortunately unpack that generational trauma. I can see how learning his dad is a possible CSA victim, like him, starts pushing Roy to tell his parents but also discourages him because basically Richard unknowingly knew Roy was SA but never recognized it because he doesn’t know he was SA too. I also believe Richard normalized his brother’s actions too. It’s truly devastating how Richard indirectly contributed to the normalization of Roy’s abuse but he doesn’t know it’s SA. He believes those fun “games” him and his brother played were normal family bonding activities and is happy to hear his son is getting along with his brother, a brother he admired when growing up.
These headcanons might change as the series continues and the deeper I get into research.
I headcanon Carmen doesn’t know anything but has suspected something was off a few times. She never thought anything of Richard’s behavior at first because he alway been this way. When they became adults, she started questioning as Richard still had issues with intimacy at that point in their relationship and his alcoholism was at its worst. (Short ver: Richard started drinking at a young age to cope with trauma of his SA and the Uncle encouraged this, buying him alcohol for various reasons. Modern day, Richard is a functional alcoholic but has gotten better with his drinking)
As of the moment, Roy’s parents are unaware of Roy’s CSA. The day the Uncle died, Roy did get in trouble but for separate reasons. Carmen and Richard were mad at Roy for hanging out with “plebeians” and sending them to one of his uncle’s private properties. Roy doesn’t feel comfortable telling them yet because they’re snobby, judgmental people, so he assumes they won’t react well.
#sorry if the length bothers you#This idea has been taking up my brain#There is so much to unpack about this idea like Richard’s life in the past. the generational truama. and Roy’s life in the present#I also want to apologize if some headcanons are poorly implemented. I feel there was certain headcanons I have that wouldn’t make sense-#without other pre-lore headcanons to explain them and I didn’t know to add them smoothly#I have so many thoughts for this AU they obviously focus on Richard’s youth and Roy in current#I’m currently interested in fleshing out Richard’s youth and how he dealt with the CSA without knowing it#Especially the social side of like being a boyfriend and having dumbass friends who also are dealing with their own issues. develop their-#own terrible habits. and encourage one another toxic behaviors because they were stupid teenagers#I do have a scene in mind when Roy eventually tells Carmen and Richard about his SA and have written a little for it#Like I’d mentioned there’s a lot of potential with this AU and I want to see the fandom talk about Roy and Richard’s relationship-#More so regarding their CSA experiences. I believe it can be a powerful story to write#Though one thing I don’t like about it is how I have to write for the Uncle and give him a character#just a awful character to write for#eugh#BTW I do have a sensitive reader for this AU but criticism is still very much welcome#spooky month#spooky month roy#spooky month carmen#spooky month richard#answered asks#ChuchaYucca.text#tw csa mention#tw csa#tw sa mention#tw sa#tw alchoholism
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i love the EVIL part of EVILIVE btw. i find fucked up, unnameable unobtainable obsessive life-ending love extremely romantic and delicious. it’s the way things are in the evilive world! things are messy! and bad! and i love it! i (at least currently!!!) do not plan on writing anything pure fluff happiness because that is not something that i wish to extract from this show.. it isn’t there! i have no interest in erasing these harsh realities of evilive in my fics. happy lalala is not fun for me to write, and i won’t do it without a heavy underlying feeling of uneasiness and uncertainty and dread and despair and inevitable death. i like pain :/ and half of this couple is one of the most greedy selfish motherfuckers i have ever come to know and he’s oh so beautiful. so i am sorry if you finished evilive and wanted some kind of fix-it happy gays but i am NOTTTTTTTT the guy for that.
#ilml#idk.#lol.#sorry feeling a little defensive this sunday evening!#reqs are open indefinitely and if you need some kind of fix all you have to do is ask :]#but i will not write anyone from this show (intentionally) OOC because i respect them too much as human beings from my TV show.#from my little kdrama that takes up a huge portion of my brain.#my reason for writing at all for evilive is to explore aspects of it that we didn’t get to see on screen#anyways whatever sorry please be gentle with me ❤️#i am just a serious and passionate guy writing about a crime noir#it’s a tragic lovestory and i am not inclined to turn it into a kissing loving understanding relationship#like srsly han dongsoo? u know him yes? he wouldn’t be down for all that#he’s hetmarried in case we forgot#SORRY im so 😵💫. but please god be gentle with me. i am baring my soul to you through my writing and i need it to be handled with care#if you wish that evilive was nice and happy you could make it that way! but i will not!#maybe someone else already has/will!#but ILML (me!) is into evilness. i like weird evil lawyers who are evil and bad. and i have no desire to turn evil lawyers nonevil#and i have no desire to take away the joys of violence and power from the other half either#and idk how many of my readers are weird/offputting queer men who have been helplessly in love with a straight guy#but it is no easy event… it is no simple doing… it can perhaps even be an EVIL thing…#STRAIGHT UP RAMBLING AT THIS POINT. APOLOGIES!#<- guy who might be a little sensitive and need your understanding
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on your post about how destiny actually works in ever after i wanted to share some of my thoughts!!!
firstly, (ive had this one in my mind since i watched the show as a kid) they introduce the characters as "abc, daughter/son of xyz" and their stories are continued through the generations, so, for some, wouldn't their forever after partner's parent, be their parent too??? like okay there's apple white, daughter of snow white and daring charming, son of king charming LIKE HOW DOES THAT WORK???? when snow white was fulfilling her destiny wasn't it king charming that woke her up???? like how does that work
also, it's only daring and apple who are (at first) set for each other, everyone knows daring will wake apple from her sleep but the rest of the princesses don't have their princes what about briar? ashlynn?
then, it seems only the first born has to follow in their parents' fairytale footsteps like in the case of holly and poppy so what do the younger siblings do? what's their destiny like dexter charming, he had a page in the book of legends but had no story to go with it
this is a lot but im really awestruck with how destiny is such a fickle thing, apparently your destiny can be taken away from you just by signing in the book of legends, it's not even confirmed i suppose, it can change like how daring ended up with rosabella and not apple, etc etc
destiny in ever after high has so much untapped potential i love rotating it in my mind so thank you so much for this ask!
first off, eah has confirmed that there are four unrelated charming clans from which fairytales draw their sundry heroes so it's logical to assume that all current kings charming serving as their famous fairytale wives' arm candy come from different clans as the princes charming slated for their daughters' destinies. briar's prince i always assumed to be unknown due to the fact that she won't meet him in another hundred years. apple's prince being determined from the beginning i've always chalked up to the snow white tale being so important that grimm, snow and co. all felt the need to lock the details down as early as possible. pair the most eligible princess in the land with the most eligible prince in the land and chain their destinies together before fate gets other ideas and all that.
also YES, the birth order aspect of fairytale inheritance itches at my brain soooo hard. does the destiny go only down the line of the eldest? if the protagonists of the tale are siblings, are the next protagonists their respective firstborns and thus cousins? or does the destiny lineage go to whoever in the birth order has the most important role? can you be chosen randomly for a tale that wasn't in your family? and it's made even more confusing bc eah canon says "both! all! yes!" the rapunzel destiny falls to the eldest twin. the current hansel and gretel destiny falls to cousins. the dancing princess destiny goes all the way down the line of the youngest daughter. the charmings are all expected to fill in as either heroes or damsels for whatever tale needs them. it's WILD.
my personal interpretation is that just to cover all the bases, grimm keeps the school open to all descendants of the major players until they know for certain who destiny has the most affinity with. case in point: justine dancer only being confirmed as the twelfth princess when she started sleepdancing in the webisodes despite all eleven of her older sisters having been chosen beforehand. it makes one wonder if there's a method to knowing which sister needs to have the full dozen (the eldest? the youngest?) or if ALL the madames try to get all the way to twelve Just In Case. could you imagine the family gatherings? hell.
(i love thinking of the dancing princess eldritch nightmare family orchard. one of my eah ocs is the seventh daughter of the seventh dancing princess who's only here bc it would have looked unsporting if nobody from their branch came, despite all signs pointing to justine, and she didn't really have alternative plans. she's just chilling. at least until miss mabinogion crashes into her life and she finds herself playing co-conspirator to a certain flower-faced adulteress's Operation Goodbye Earl.)
i think bc of the sleepdancing there's a lot of flexibility in the line-up of the twelve princesses, so they can be siblings down the line of whoever married the soldier, or they can be firstborn cousins, or they can be first daughter of the first daughter, second daughter of the second, etc. etc. no matter how hard grimm et al. try to hammer down destiny, every retelling still finds a way to veer off the rails. so every contradictory version of every fairytale you've ever heard? probably happened at one point. it was never gonna be science.
another thing i'm really interested in are destinies where the protagonist has to become their child's villain. you ever think about how the juniper tree cycle would necessitate the butchered child eaten by their father to become the parent that eats their child? eah never went that hard but i can. i will. (miss juniper tree rounds out my eah oc roster and she is appropriately furious about it.) cyclical destinies where happy endings don't mean jack are sooo good.
also yes!! that whole thing where destiny doesn't even play by the rules of the people who try to corral it (darling is apple's prince, daring is the beast, raven is one of the seven dwarves, etc. etc.) even when the Book is in play is just !!!!!!! really makes it feel like destiny is a much larger and more powerful force than anybody can really reckon with.
#ever after high#mine#asks#WOW this got long. the brainrot is all powerful#everybody keeps trying to seal their fate whether it's one they're born into or one they want to steal (hiii next top villain duchess ilysm#and whether they fail or succeed......... what incredible untapped potential#it's like. i can't find the right words. but grimm built a solar panel and thought that meant they weren't at the mercy of the sun#or maybe dammed up a river and built it proper little waterways and thought those waves wouldn't surge as they please#something like that. brain fried destiny in eah makes me go kooky#don't mind me slipping my ocs in there i just love exploring eah mechanics so much. to sum up tho they are:#miss extraneous dancing princess miss blodeuwedd and miss juniper tree#i love talking abt them and will do so at the slightest prompting
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yall im almost filled my sketchbook, and this is gonna be the first time in a literal decade that ive done that my god.
Might post some pages from it once its done.. I feel like this is the first time ive really done a sketchbook "right." Before i always felt pressured to just fill it with finished pieces, but thats;; not really what a sketchbook is for. Its for practicing! Trying out things! Etc.! So with this sketchbook i gave myself a really hard challenge: draw almost entirely in pen. I always hate drawing with pens cuz, yknow. cant erase if you make mistakes. So whenever im inking something im a nervous wreck the entire time. but now i was gonna do *everything* in pen. All my mistakes with be left there, all guiding lines and such will show. And this was very hard to do at first, but now its really natural! I actually like doing it this way now, which is kinda crazy to say. And i've filled it with a variety of things! There's me practicing things, just drawing random characters, lots of pages of me playing around with character designs, many pages of animatic plans, and some that were literally just me smearing paint on the page to test the colors or how it behaved. I even have a few sticky notes in it, and ive taped a couple of things in! A while back i was trying out acrylics for the first time, so i ripped out a few pages to experiment with trying to fill the whole page with paint and see how the paper would fare. And they look atrocious, cuz i really didn't know how those paints worked, but hey! It was me trying things out! So despite me being slightly tempted to just throw them out, i actually taped them back in. And another time I didn't have my sketchbook with me when I was hit with inspiration for a character design, so i drew it on index cards and taped em in so all my design notes would be in one place. But more than one index card didn't really fit on the page, so i had to cut the others into weird pieces so they could fit. And these sorts of pages are my favorites! Its satisfying to flip thru my sketchbook and come across very different or "out of place" pages. Im hoping to do more stuff like that with the next one!
#josh talks#dang somehow i always surprise myself with how much i can yap about a simple subject that shouldve taken a few sentences#but yeah i wont be giving like a whole sketchbook tour cuz one that would take forever#and 2 my anxiety says no :(#some things im embarrassed about even tho nothing ive drawn is embarrassement worthy..#but since a large majority of the drawings were done in pen there are some especially messy pages#and like i have multiple animatics mapped out in this sketchbook. and for those i draw fast and small#all i need is to have something that will help me remember my idea#so a lot of them look extremely ugly and strange#which!! shouldnt be an issue!! i shouldnt be embarrassed!! but brain says no :(#im already gonna show some pages im a little anxious about so im not gonna push too hard into facing my fears territory#theres a time and place for that and ive decided to save my mental power for another battle#but thankfully im mostly excited to show them off!#maybe yall will find it interesting.. cuz since i cant erase anything you can see all the guiding lines and like#character “skeletons” for posing n such#i think i use a sort of “skeleton” method that ive seen people say NOT to do lmao#just goes to show that sometimes u can ignore art advice#i mean maybe a different method would lead to better art somehow#but eh im happy with how my drawings have been going for years with this method#maybe it could be better but its still good this way <3
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Wait a minute hold on hang on

Computer, enhance


YES!!!!
TRANS PRIDE GOGGLES SCENE LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOO
#It depends on if his powers turn everything he makes rubbery white as well#Which 1. My theory that his abilities actually involve the Skypeia clouds would grow stronger#2. Nooooo I want the goggles scene to be trans rights so so so so so so badly PLEASE let them stay their original colors#One piece#Op#One piece spoilers#Opspoilers#Op spoilers#One piece chapter 1070#One piece chapter 1070 spoilers#Egghead#Egghead spoilers#Spoilers#Also. You know. If these colors are actually official XD#They 100% could change by the time egghead gets adapted in 9 thousand years#Also do u guys see the fidget spinner#The more I look the more I realize egghead is just a giant toybox. That's adorable#Slightly concerning given we know it's housing a giant brain. But awwww that's adorable they're little toys in a toybox#Look you can even see a giant game pad#And a big bottle on the right!
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