#I just thought of this but I think that Vash starts to let himself express more of his anger with each argument they have

[ohitslen]

Thinking and headcannoning the shit out of angry Stampede! Vash and how Wolfwood deals with that first thing in the morning because i think him getting angry about something and letting down some of his mask in those genuine moments of anger is super awesome

Before we continue I have not read the manga yet so if you read something incredibly obvious or redundant to your experience, well, haha or something OQNENW

This is a VERY LONG Vashwood ramble I have to put SOMEWHERE or I will explode, so feel free to join if you want.

Vash is an overall very expressive person right? very emotional too generally, but the thing is I like drawing people getting angry so that’s what you are getting from me.

And I also often think about the fact that it’s Wolfwood and Knives the ones that have seen him be like that (most often than not towards them).

Wolfwood specifically, I think that he WOULD get scared because when Vash is angry angry, he just seethes and looks like he is three seconds away from being love and peace to hate and war. These are probably the moments in where he carries the most resemblance to Knives, and to anybody that has experienced the man firsthand they know how scary that is because everyone and their moms knows that he does not hesitate to resort to murder if he is upset about something or if it’s inconvenient to him, so it is rightfully terrifying to even think of him getting mad.

Now take the same idea and apply it to Vash, he is so friendly and playful all the time and he gets kicked around all the time too, that it would be almost impossible to imagine him getting angry in a genuine way. That is UNTIL his ideals and morals are being countered or challenged by someone and THAT’S when people are gently reminded that oh yeah he can get mad too, and really fucking mad at that.

The peak of his anger doesn’t last for too long because he tries to level himself quickly, he is aware of how he can look when he gets like that, and it would be showing a little too much about how he is not very human in nature for what he is comfortable with. I think that when he gets mad his expression turns into something very vulnerably honest, to the point in where he unconsciously looks imposing and demanding, paired with his uncanny vibes it really is a treat and anyone at the other end of it would be other than also upset, quite scared. Like Wolfwood.

There is something very obviously other about Vash and he has the privilege of knowing just exactly why that is, and considering that his brother has a record for being a certain way when angry, knowing what he is does not soothe him at all. Then again, Wolfwood cares for him still and he is a stubborn guy himself, so even when most likely scared shitless, he would not move his ground, and the only thing that reassures him that things will be fine, is Vash’s pacific nature and also knowing that he cares deeply for him too, but that is a thing he would not think too much about other than the flash of thought that it is in the moment.

Vash is petty as hell too, he remains silent and gives the cold shoulder to the other person that was involved in the argument, and it is usually, once again, Wolfwood at the end of that stick. Wolfwood is a “mind your business and I mind mine” kind of guy considering he never asks things, but traveling with that idiot and having to be with him 24/7 and being given the silent treatment has to be uncomfortable at best incredibly annoying at worst. So even though he won’t change his opinion most of the times, he still insists on talking to him idly sometimes after they argue, something he would usually not do.

All Vash ever responds with are the necessary answers, at first shrugs or nods, then very short and to the point sentences, he eventually warms up to him again and they talk the way they usually do; and just like that things seems to be at bay for the time being until the next unavoidable argument comes by.

No matter how many times they argue, when things escalate and Vash begins to show his very honest anger, Wolfwood’s instincts would be screaming at him to stop it and to get away, because whatever Vash is feeling is reeking of a danger that no matter how enhanced he might be, he is NOT gonna make it through whatever will happen to him worse comes to worst. But when has he ever actually heard his instincts when it comes to dealing with Vash. So he always replies and stays.

He is somehow one of the very few (almost non existent) people who can deal with Vash when he is like that, one thing is getting mad at Vash and the other is him getting mad at you, and he has bite alright, he will say things that can come across as hurtful and very venomous when he starts to get more visceral, and yeah the whole predator kind of vibe he can give off is there too.

Maybe Wolfwood also knows how hurt Vash would feel if he retreats because of how scared he feels and that’s why he doesn’t back away. It would be reasonable if he did, hell he doesn’t owe him shit for all he knows and he would be in his whole right to run away scared if he wanted, but for one it would be too cowardly, and two Vash would be once again pushed away for being something not human, and that would be a scar he would carry for his whole life and Wolfwood does not want to be a part of that. So that’s another reason to the ever growing list of “why don’t I just let this be”.

There is an odd sense of comfort in seeing Vash get mad, knowing that the man knows his ground, that even he has lines he won’t allow anyone to cross, that he can allow himself to feel something genuine for once and not the fake little things he is always doing. It is the positive side Wolfwood tries to see in those situations and what he has to remind himself over and over again so he doesn’t flinch away. Good thing he has some practice in arguments thanks to his little siblings back at the orphanage, practice he refuses to let go and holds on to dear life because he needs any crumb of reason at those moments.

At some point when hands are involved, when a clench to the shirt and a push to the shoulder escalates to shoving the other to the ground and a punch to the gut, Wolfwood goes full survival mode because no one told him that Vash was THAT strong and THAT heavy and THAT intimidating. He could have guessed after having watched the man fight. He is capable and strong, he usually moves with a certain preciseness and care under the goofy display, he may twirl around and stumble when dodging, but he is dodging and also landing hits.

He knows that Vash is strong and that he is also incredibly careful. But that’s when he is in all his senses with a mostly cool head, so having him hovering over Wolfwood pressing him down rendering him to the ground while very obviously mad and trying to prove his point, he freezes before he can react and fight back.

Those are the times where Vash feels the most guilty after the fight from what Wolfwood can gather and wildly assume. If him not eating (again) for days or even refusing to acknowledge Wolfwood unless necessary is any sign. That behavior can last over a week which is a little too long for Wolfwood’s peace of mind. So he starts poking again because apparently arguing again is the only way to make the bastard answer more. And it usually works, some nudging here and there and putting lemon with salt to the wound seems to do the trick.

It entails more shouting and screaming at each others faces their flaws that they already know like a script, until things start to calm down when Wolfwood reassures him that he is tougher than he looks, and that no matter what he won’t just leave Vash in a ditch, and if they were going to travel together for the future to come they would have to learn how to sort things out. Something he knows neither of them will probably never learn, but it is what it is and that’s what he can resort to at the moment, and it does seem to satisfy Vash a little. So once they are done, and they go their separate ways, never too far from each other, Vash starts to nibble at his food and says or asks little things to Wolfwood, and just like that they are good to go again.

They are both aware that addressing out loud how fucking scary Vash can be at those raw moments of anger, would be like painting a line of ‘I am this and you are that so we shouldn’t be doing this’ that neither of them would actually want to have. So even when yeah it can be horribly scary and surprisingly intimidating to deal with Vash when he is angry, Wolfwood is willing to stay and fight with him if that’s what he wants, if that’s what he needs. Even if it’s starting to take a toll on him. He is getting used to it though so it will be fine.

Probably.

[ruporas]

post-trimax vash meets stampede wolfwood

[ID: Black and white comic of Vash and Wolfwood of their Stampede versions. The comic starts with Wolfwood continuing off a conversation, saying “I didn’t mean t’say anythin’ bad to her. She just took it the wrong way. But anyway...” Wolfwood speaks with a hand gestured flippantly while Vash, who’s seated next to him, just listens. Vash thinks to himself, “Talks more about himself... Honest expressions... Immature, though he was pretty immature too.” He smiles and continues to think, “And yet...”

A panel of Vash’s eye directed now to the sky. He thinks, “Some things are bound to be the same with us...” He thinks of a memory, the version from Maximum of him and Wolfwood, back shown as they chatted underneath two moons, one moon with a hole through it. Vash continues, “Isn’t that right, W-“ His thoughts are interrupted by Wolfwood coming into a view, a close up his deadpan expression. Vash utters out “-olfwood..?” with a nervous expression. He starts to explain, “Um. Sorry if it seemed like I wasn’t listening, I was! So, let’s keep talking?”

Vash smiles and puts his hands together as he says, “okay?” Wolfwood glares at him with gritted teeth and Vash immediately remembers, “Right, he’s more short-tempered...” He continues to think, “Maybe Plan B works with him—“ before he’s grabbed by his coat collar aggressively and changes thoughts, “OK, never mind, brace for impact..!” But he’s surprised when he’s tugged instead, him and Wolfwood flops against the ground. Wolfwood puts an arm over Vash and says, “I don’t need to be entertained, blondie. If yer tired, we can go to sleep.”

Two close up panels of Wolfwood and Vash’s eyes looking at each other, Wolfwood taking off Vash’s glasses as he says, “Am I wrong?” Vash thinks to himself, “Actually... I was being genuine when I said I wanted to keep talking. I don’t feel tired at all. But, I think you know this body more than I do.”

Vash’s thoughts continue, “I can’t deny the me you’re fond of from being taken care of. And I could never deny your kindness. Even though...” Vash finally smiles and says, “You’re not wrong...” Wolfwood smiles back before tugging Vash closer and says, “Then, let’s sleep.” Vash asks, “Should we get a blanket?” Wolfwood asks, “Why?” before kissing Vash on the cheek, “I’ll keep you warm.” Vash puts his face into both his hands and flushes. Wolfwood smiles cheekily and asks, “What?” Vash responds, “I was caught off guard..” Wolfwood says, “You’ve said worse though.” Vash responds, “Did I...” The panel phases out and the dialogue returns to Vash’s thoughts. He thinks, “I want to stay a bit longer. Talk a bit longer.

You’re tired here too. The future is always going to be unfair to you. I want to protect you from it. I want to hold you close so you won’t go far.” The thoughts overlap the scene of Wolfwood now sleeping peacefully against Vash with an arm over him, Vash’s jacket draped against him as a blanket. Vash looks at him and a small thought bubble thinks, “He can fall asleep first...” His previous thoughts continue, “I know I can’t. I already had that chance.” A close up of Vash putting his hand over Wolfwood’s. He continues, “I wasn’t capable once, I can’t be sure I’d be capable a second time. And in a way...”

Vash’s thoughts continue with the back drop of the sky, Stampede’s sky of two moons without holes, “Some things are bound to be the same. But I know you’ll be loved again and again in a way I’d never know.” A split panel, one half contains the sleeping face of Wolfwood from Stampede, the other of Wolfwood from Trimax. In turn, the Vash lying down looking fondly at Wolfwood shifts to the post Trimax Vash while the other versions, Stampede and earlier Trimax, are faintly drawn next to him doing the same. Vash closes his eyes and finally drifts to sleep as the final text reads, “Goodnight, Wolfwood.”

[h4venpha]

𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐲 𝐯𝐚𝐬𝐡 𝐡𝐜𝐬 𓂃 ⟡

uncanny vash x reader

cw: body horror (not rlly but just in case)

a/n: i’ve seen multiple drawings/hcs on uncanny vash so this is me mushing them all together sorry (this is slightly creature vash as well!)

- i feel like most uncanny vash hcs are more like.. creature vash hcs

- uncanny vash: okay he’s fucking creepy guys. his pupils like voids surrounded by a shining blue iris, they’re kind of always unfocused even as you talk to him. he chitters, chirps, clicks, its scary sometimes when you wake up and hear him in the middle of the night.

- uncanny vash hums too, but its always to himself. like an almost silent humming, just a soft sweet tune rumbling from his chest as he stares at nothing in particular.

- he doesn’t talk much, truthfully. relies on vague gestures or small chirps. usually when he talks its with you, but still it mostly consists of short sentences and phrases.

- a lil self indulged but he can unhinge his jaw, drop it and there’s rows of jagged teeth. and it makes you a little scared to be honest, like shit what he could bite my face off while kissing me if he wanted to.

- but of course he doesnt. he locks his jaw back and gives you a sweet, innocent smile, just showing his front row of teeth. and the duality is so unsettling you think about his rows and rows of sharp teeth while you kiss him

- first time sleeping next to him and you genuinely thought you were going to die. like you’re falling asleep, just barely conscious, and this deep rumbling sound starts. your eyes flashing open and your heart is beating out of your fucking chest, eyes darting around for the source.

- and it’s your fucking monster, creature, boyfriend—THING sleeping. vash’s long ass arms and legs wrapped around your body while he purrs and clicks right in your ear.

- for the first couple of days, honestly, you can’t sleep. cause its so fucking loud and right next to you. it takes a while, but you end up getting used to it to the point where you can’t sleep without his silly noises. and he’s just happy to be there, he has no clue he purrs in his sleep.

- i feel like maybe he forgets how fragile humans are and he sometimes handles you too roughly. like he’s playing with your fingers and he tries to move them in a way that is impossible for a human, and you have to tell him that you don’t like that and its bad. so he learns to handle you more gently.

- uncanny vash doesn’t… really understand love. at least not in the same way humans do, like he just does not get what kissing does or hand holding, he likes to express his love in very different forms.

- he likes keeping you close to him at all times. now im kinda projecting my “normal” vash hcs but hear me out. you’re like the shiny rock he found and he just keeps you in his pocket because mm so shiny, so pretty.

- he is very much possessive of his shiny rock indeed. keeping his abnormally large hand on your back or your neck (you had to introduce hand holding to him.)

- love bites are his thing! maybe not necessarily leaving marks, but the feeling of your flesh in between his very much dangerous teeth gives him butterflies!! please let him nibble on you

[vashs-turtleneck]

Stay.

Summary: Waking up the morning after next to your favorite travel companion. Rating: M Pairing: Vash the Stampede x gn!reader Content: some angst, mostly fluff, crying, brief mentions of sex but nothing in detail. WC: 400ish A/N: Got a spark of inspiration last night and decided to actually try writing something. This is my first time sharing any kind of fic so please be nice to me ehehe

The sunlight peaks in through the worn blinds, the beams landing right onto your face and rousing you from sleep.

Your hand comes up, trying to rub the drowsiness from your eyes as they flutter open, your gaze falling onto the dusty bed just across from you. Your bed. The bed you would have been sleeping on had the events of last night gone any differently.

"Morning, Mayfly," a quiet, husky voice breathes from behind you, the flesh arm around your waist tightening its grip ever so slightly. You wonder how long he's been awake for.

You feel his warmth press against your back as he nuzzles his nose and lips against the back of your neck, soft wisps of blonde hair peeking from over your shoulder.

He's still here.

He hasn't left.

You feel tears threatening to pour from your eyes, and you're not quite sure why. Maybe it's relief. Relief that last night's passionate roll in the sheets hasn't ruined what the two of you have spent the passed several months building. Relief that he didn't try to leave you in the dead night after getting so close to you ("for your own safety", he'd say.)

Maybe it's because for the first time in his life, he's allowed himself to want something, to have something. He's let himself indulge and have something nice for once in his otherwise desolate and lonesome life, and he's chosen that something to be you, as selfish as he might think that is. That thought alone makes your eyes well-up.

You slowly turn around to your other side, facing him, your head level with his patchwork chest. Your head tilts up, and when your gazes meet, he sees the tears starting to pool in your eyes, his calm expression quickly turns to one of concern and panic.

"H-Hey... What's wrong?" he whispers softly, his hand coming to cup your cheek. You can feel the hesitancy behind his touch, and knowing him, he's blaming himself for your tears, thinking he's done something to upset you. You can practically see the wheels turning in his head. You're not... regretting what happened last night... are you?

And you're not going to give him the chance to ask something so foolish, because of course you're not.

Far from it.

You take a deep, shaky breath and bury your face against his chest, your arms wrapping around his midsection. It's all you can do as you feel the lump forming in your throat. And oh, he's so warm.

You feel his arms gently wrap around your frame, one warm, one cold.

Just stay.

Stay with me.

You wish you had the words the express everything you're feeling right now. The relief, the gratitude, the comfort, but for now, you'll settle for something more simple.

"I love you."

You can feel his heart beat ever so slightly faster, his arms pulling you tighter against himself.

"I love you too, Mayfly."

You're not sure how much time passes between the two of you, but he's the first one to break the silence, and you can practically hear the grin splitting his face.

"You know, there's a little donut stall a couple blocks down, if you're feeling hungry."

[merbear25]

🌻🐸 anon back again !! im happy to hear that you were thinking about me?? 🥹 its just nice to hear that someone out there do think of me,, sorry if I'm sounding emotional but i'm on my period atm 🫠 speaking of emotional, this is so self indulgent and perhaps specific but uh i was thinking headcanons/scenario of vash having a crush/ s/o who just wants to pamper him (honestly up to you if you wanna do pre-established/established relationship) - he so deserves to be pampered, i was teary eyed at how he encapsulates the good of humanity?? 😭

I just remember thinking, "It's been awhile since I heard from them. I wonder how they're doing." 😂 Vash deserves the WORLD. He's so, so precious. I hope you like what I've written for you.💜💜

CW: fluff, gn!reader, angst, headcanons/scenario

Loving a man who cannot love himself (Vash)

With a bounty on the incline, forming relationships was one of the things he refrained from. One who was deserving of love more than anyone, yet the first to turn away from its warmth. Meeting you brought on a whirlwind of emotions—inner conflict that only instilled the idea that he was undeserving of your adoration.

But with your eyes holding pools of compassion, he felt seen. With a voice expressing depths of empathy, he felt heard. And with a touch as soft as yours, he felt like he was home.

Coming to terms with the fact that he had feelings for you was faced with quite a lot of resistance.

You’d catch him standing off to the side hesitating on coming over to you.

When you gently invited him over, he was pulled out of his trance.

His meek smiles feigning contentment never slipped past you. You met his reservations on letting you in with patience and tenderness.

He truly felt safe around you—safe to allow his heart to rest in the palm of your hand.

Over time, he opened up to the idea of physical closeness, one which you didn’t take lightly. Cuddling started out small: sitting closely and letting your legs touch, turned into hand holding, which eventually led to embraces. Throughout each stage, you kept his boundaries in mind. A part of helping him feel loved meant giving that love the space it needed to grow.

Although he was much larger than you, he enjoyed it when you were the big spoon. He’d curl up in your arms, touching his forehead against your chest as your bodies entwined.

Playing with his hair always eased his worried mind. When you placed soft kisses on the top of his head, you had him practically melting in your arms.

As you whispered soft words of affection, he held onto you more tightly.

“Please say that again,” he’d choke out, almost sounding as if he was holding back tears.

Cooing at him, reassuring how worthy he was of not only your love but also the joy that many others experienced, never tired you. Despite it being a long journey of accepting that as truth, he was grateful that you were there to clear his troubling thoughts.

[tenabrye]

your nicholas and vash request got me thinking of their reaction as a drabble when they’re reunited with their crush after being separated for some time and finding a new wound/scar on their crush?

Vash

He honestly thought he'd find you after you both had to flee town, but things didn't quite go that way. Sadly, the separation lasted a year and a half. A year and a half without you by his side, without seeing your lovely smile, your adorable laugh, your reassuring and gentle touches. It was horrible. The absolute worst time in his entire life, so far, that is. But when he found you?

The man was, at first, stunned. Were his eyes playing tricks on him, or was it his brain that created your image out of thin air? He didn't believe it at first, yet the second your hands took his, the thumb gently rubbing little circles on the back of them, he knew. The reunion is filled with tears of joy, mostly from him, because he never thought he would be able to see you again. He held you close, face buried in your neck, breathing in your familiar scent.

"How have you been?" It's the first question he asked, followed by, "I missed you so much." He really can't contain his emotions after finally seeing you after so long, so he cries. His tears soak into your clothes, and you rub his back, letting him get it all out. "I tried finding you," he said, "I never stopped. Town to town, city to city, I kept looking."

You frowned. It hurt you seeing him like this. You then pulled out of the hug and cupped his face with your hands, now smiling softly at him. "Vash," you started, voice soft and calming, "you're okay now. We found each other." Your voice brought a familiar calmness to him and reassurance took over in the form of a small smile that was present on his face. "C'mon, let's go catch up."

He liked the idea of being able to catch up with you, alone, in a hotel room. Such privacy allowed the both of you to indulge the other with your journeys. You learned that after the incident that separated the two of you, Vash had gone back the next day in hopes that you had somehow returned, only you didn't. He spoke of how he waited for you there for two days before finally leaving, talking himself into believing that you'd be smart and head to a different town.

When you weren't in the first town he reached, he trekked to another, and another, and another. He kept repeating this cycle, often asking if anyone had seen someone matching your description. The string of bad luck was constant, slowly making him believe he was never going to find you, slowly having him think you were already gone. You frowned at that, holding his flesh hand in yours and sending him a soft smile.

You then spoke of your travels, and how you immediately went to a different town in the opposite direction he had gone. Vash felt rather silly now knowing you had been in the opposite town, to which you chuckled softly at. He understood why you couldn't ask around for him, knowing full and well that folks would have automatically assumed you to be involved with him and his supposed wave of destruction throughout the lands.

You stood from your seat at the small table in the room and stretched, soon raising a brow after hearing the man let out a small, surprised gasp. "What is it?" You asked.

"What is that?" He responded with a question of his own, the pointer finger of his flesh hand poking at the marking he could now see, caused by your shirt raised when stretching. Your lips pursed and you averted your eyes. "That's a scar..."

"Vash," you started, wanting to tell him that it wasn't a big deal. People got scars all the time, right? Right. "It's nothing, really--"

"Why didn't you tell me?" He sounded hurt, and it caused a sigh to slip from your lips. "How'd you get it?"

"Escaped a bounty hunter," you told him, lips curled into a slight smirk. He chuckled at your expression. "Luckily for me it was just one, but the guy somehow found out I knew you and, well, y'know the rest."

The blond shook his head at you. "I'm sorry," he said, "he was hunting me and wanted to use you to find me." You shrugged your shoulders and stayed silent before running a hand through your hair. "Oh, but guess what?" You cocked a brow at him, watching as he lifted the left side of his shirt, revealing a scar that almost matched yours. "We match now."

The grin plastered to his face caused you to chuckle as you shook your head at him. "You're such a goofball, Vash, but at least you're my goofball."

Wolfwood

It nearly killed him when he couldn't find you among the debris. He kept telling himself that you weren't dead, that he knew you weren't dead. He saw you make it out of the building. He saw you...didn't he? He bit down on his cigarette in frustration, instantly cutting it in half in the process. He spit the end that was left in his mouth out and took the time to sit down on flattened rubble, eyes glancing around the area. Did you die? Were you really...gone?

He was frustrated for five months after the incident, still having the slightest bit of denial that you were truly dead. Alas, none of the citizens in the various towns and cities he visited could identify you from the description he gave them. Failure after failure of trying to locate you slowly turned into a sad realization for him. You really were gone from this world. You had to be.

His walking came to an abrupt stop as he removed the large firearm he carried, shoving it deep enough in the sand so that it stood upright without the slightest notion of falling over. The man then sunk down, ass hitting the sandy floor as his back leaned against his gun. Wolfwood wasted no time in whipping a cigarette out, taking a quick drag after it lit and blowing out the smoke.

The man was at the end of his ropes. His denial over the few months of you being dead having been pushed back, although he now felt as if he couldn't continue doing it. He needed to face the facts. You were dead. His jaw clenched at the thought, careful to not break his cigarette as he hung his head, defeated. Any passerby, if anyone was to be seen in this vast desert, could say he looked downright pitiful.

Footsteps could be heard from in front of him, yet he didn't bother looking at whoever it was. The stranger would no doubt glance at him and move on. They always did. Until this one didn't. Wolfwood stared at the shoes belonging to the person that stood before him, eyes widening at the immediate recognition of them. His head snapped up, jaw unclenched as his mouth hung open, letting his smoke fall out.

Was he dreaming? He had to be. Maybe the desert heat finally got to his head? Either way, he really couldn't believe what, or who, he was seeing right now. Standing right in front of him with a familiar, sweet smile was you. The man was quick when rising to his feet, specks of sand flung around from the rapid movement. He tilted his head as he stared at you, soon taking a hand and moving it forward, only to bring it back in hesitation. It couldn't be you. It wasn't...was it?

"Nicolas," you called to him, voice as soft and sweet as he remembered. He moved his hand forward, again, his body freezing once he felt your own hand grab it, fingers intertwining with his own. You let out a small, surprised gasp as he immediately pulled you into his body, arms wrapped tightly around you, holding you.

"I thought you were dead," he breathed out, body slightly shaking as he pressed his forehead against your shoulder. "I looked everywhere, they all said they didn't see anyone like you." You could hear the hurt in his voice, the slight crack, and it tore you apart. "I didn't want to think you died, I couldn't."

"Nicholas," you spoke his name, again, slowly pulling out of the hug, "I'm sorry." The frown on his face broke your heart, and he certainly looked like a puppy that had been kicked. Until you saw the way his face scrunched up, causing you to furrow your brows at him. "Are you--"

"What's on your face?" He asked, his brows now furrowed in annoyance. It amazed you at how quickly his mood could change, but then you frowned when he reached a hand out and touched your cheek. "The hell is this? Who did this to you?" It's as though he forgot about the fact that you were alive and not dead, because with the way his jaw clenched, you could tell he was angry.

"Ah, well, you see--"

"Are they still alive?" He cut you off with his question. "So I can kill them myself."

"No, no," you told him, "they're not alive anymore. Don't worry."

Wolfwood sighed. "Five months apart and you've gotten into trouble. Then you go and get a reminder of that trouble." You playfully rolled your eyes at him. "I didn't see you make it out of the building."

"I thought I wasn't going to, at first," you started, "but I guess I had lady luck on my side that day."

He hummed in response, his anger now having dissipated and a frown on his face. "I'm glad you lived."

"I'm glad you never once stopped looking for me," you smiled.

"If I had to, I'd search this entire planet for you." His lips curled into a grin and he pulled you in for another hug. "Until death took me."

[uollop]

Could you maybe write a short about Vash hearing his lover say "I want to be selfish and keep you with me forever" when they think he's asleep. Because he should be loved unabashedly the way he loves others, even if he feels he doesn't deserve it.

A Long, Long Time

Content: Fluff, Vash x Reader, GN! Reader, cuddles

Word count: 606

Notes: Very cute request heheheh I hope this is what you had in mind! Enjoy :)

Vash was having one of those nights. He couldn't seem to fall asleep, no matter how much he readjusted or how many sheep he attempted to count. A part of him wanted to get up and go for a nighttime stroll, but he knew that would mean having to get out of bed. He didn't want to risk potentially waking you up for one, but also the image of you waking up without him next to you was something that he felt guilt at even the idea of.

So he continued to lay next to you, his arms wrapped around you as he watched you sleep peacefully. As tired as he was, he was enjoying being able to see you like this. You looked so calm. He slowly reached up and brushed his thumb against your cheek, a soft smile on his face. He leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on your cheek. He just couldn't help himself. As he pulled away, though, you began to stir and mumble in your sleep. He immediately let his hand fall to where it was before and closed his eyes, feigning sleep in the same way a possum pretends to die. He didn't want you to worry about the fact that sleep was alluding him, so he allowed himself to sink into the bed, just in case he had accidentally awoken you.

"Vash...?" You murmur tiredly as he continues to fake sleep. You look at him for a moment before sighing and reaching up to cup his face.

"I love you..." You whisper, keeping your voice quiet to make sure you wouldn't "wake" him. "I wish... I wish we could always be like this."

Vash continued to try to feign sleep, trying to relax his breathing so that you didn't suspect he was awake. He hoped you couldn't hear his heart pounding in his chest. You leaned a bit closer to him, smiling softly as you stroked his cheek with your thumb.

"I wish I could be selfish and tell you... Tell you that I want you to be with me for a long, long time." You sigh before moving your hands away from his face. Vash's mind was racing. You had never really been one to say such things. He almost felt bad for hearing those words. You were being vulnerable, but only because you thought he was asleep.

He felt you relax again, allowing yourself to curl up towards him and whisper something that he can't quite make out before you start to fall back asleep.

He waited quite a while before he dared to move, nervousness filling his stomach before he flutters his eyes open, glancing down at you. You were curled up against his chest, your arms tucked in between the two of you as you slept. He stared at you in awe for a moment as he pondered your words.

You wanted to be with him for a long time? How long exactly? You had said "long" twice. Did that mean something?

A part of him wanted to ask you those questions. That part of him yearned for you to be selfish; he desperately wanted to be able to look into your eyes while you told him those things. He wanted to be able to see your face- your expression- when you told him that you wanted to be with him for a long, long time.

He would wait for you to be comfortable enough to say those things when he was awake. He would wait for as long as it would take. Even if it was a long, long time.

Masterlist | Ao3

[miamochi-writes]

Love is Not an Easy Thing To Admit

A/N: Wolfwood isn’t the best with his feelings especially when he’s smitten with a certain someone. So what happens when he tries to express those feelings to his crush, y/n? Thank you @sweetchildcloud for the request!

“Wolfwood, just tell Y/n how you feel. I’m sure they’ll understand,” Vash advised the so called “priest.” Wolfwood was smoking one of his usual cigarettes while sitting next to the humanoid typhoon. He didn’t even understand why he asked Vash for help in the first place when it came to asking out someone. He thought about asking Meryl, but he didn’t bother after seeing how inexperienced she was when it came to her job and mannerisms.

“Easy for you to say Needle-noggin. Telling someone how I feel isn’t my style. Let alone that person being Y/n. Before, it was easy talking to them. Now when I try to talk to ‘em about anything, I feel like I’m going to make a fool out of myself. Especially when I see that face of theirs. I can’t exactly just say ‘Oh hey Y/n, guess what I have a crush on you after all this time. Crazy right?’” Wolfwood goes on. He recalled how he starts to freeze up or how his heart races so fast he needs to excuse himself just talking to you after 5 minutes.

“Think about what you’ll say to them and let it flow from there. Just tell them the things you like about them. For example, compliment them or list things that made you start liking them,” the blonde suggested as Wolfwood thought about it. He did like how fiesty and head strong they were. But putting that into words was a different story. He sighed and looked at the blonde before getting up.

“Fine, I’ll give it a shot. But don’t expect too much from me,” the man commented as Vash wished him good luck. Wolfwood had no idea what he was getting himself into as he went to go look for Y/n. After walking a good ten minutes, he spotted them right outside the saloon. They looked as though they were lost in their thoughts, as they didn’t notice Wolfwood wave at them.

“Hey Y/n, got a minute where we can talk at the bar?” he asked. Y/n looked at them and nodded with that smile of theirs. As they started getting closer to him, Wolfwood could feel his stomach doing knots again and tried to calm down. He took a deep breath and exhaled before turning to look at Y/n. He pulled his chair up while Y/n did the same. The man put out his cigarette so he wasn’t blowing smoke into their face while they talked.

“What did you want to talk about Wolfwood?” they asked with curiosity all over their face. That face made Wolfwood weak in the knees. He was struggling to get the words out and the way they were looking at him was not helping. 

“Uh, I want to talk about...you. Just something I gotta get out of my chest,” he started as Y/n turned towards him. Y/n beckoned them to go on as he had their attention. All eyes were on him now.

“So listen Y/n, you know how when we first met...you’re not like other people I’ve come across. You’re kind of a hot head and a loud mouth sometimes. You’re also not afraid to start fights or go head first without thinking, which is something I don’t usually deal with every day. You also got some nerve to-” Wolfwood was trying to explain how he liked those qualities with Y/n, but he stopped once he heard the chair next to him scrape against the wood.

“Thanks Wolfwood, I got the message. I’ll just take my leave,” y/n said flatly. Wolfwood was caught off guard with their tone of voice. Even more so, he noticed they weren’t even looking at him anymore. The gunman was speechless as he watched Y/n walk away and felt the room drop a few degrees. The people near Wolfwood just gave him a face of cringe or disappointment after seeing what happened. Before Wolfwood could do anything else, he felt someone whack his head.

“What was that for?!” he asked

“What kind of confession was that?!” Meryl yelled as Wolfwood rubbed his head. Vash stood next to Meryl with his arms crossed and gave a disappointed look.

“I was just listing some stuff that I liked about Y/n!” he argued.

“When I said compliment and list the things you like about them, that’s not what I meant. It felt like you were pointing out things you didn’t like,” Vash explained. Once Wolfwood replayed what he said earlier, he felt a wave of guilt wash over him. The man was pinching the bridge of his nose. He didn’t know he screwed up this badly. His charm could only go so far, but now he felt like the biggest idiot there was in Noman’s Land. Just how the hell was he going to get himself out of this mess and explain what he really meant?

~*~

For a few days, things have been very awkward between Wolfwood and Y/n. Anytime The Punisher tried to get Y/n alone or strike a conversation, they practically avoided him. Whether it be an excuse to go do errands, or help Meryl and Vash, Y/n avoided the man at all costs. Wolfwood hated how bad things spiraled after their last conversation. Even when they were traveling through the desert, Y/n made sure Vash was in between them. They didn’t even look their way as the window view of the desert was more interesting than looking anywhere near his direction. Even when the priest looked at the rearview mirror, he could see Meryl feeling for him as she looked at him. Wolfwood missed how things were when he was on talking terms with Y/n. He longed to have those conversations that made him feel warm and grow fond over Y/n and the things they did together. Wolfwood didn’t know how much longer he could take anymore of this as he stared out the window.

It wasn’t until after the group landed in a somewhat deserted city that things changed. The group was exploring around to see why they weren’t any signs of life despite the buildings still being new. There was a faint noise of rumbling and an engine revving up. Vash and Wolfwood picked up on the sound as gunshots were fired at the men. Upon closer look, a group of men with black and neon colored outfits were closing in on the group.

“Shit, what are the Badlands Boys doing here?!” Wolfwood asked as he uncovered his gun.

“Everyone take cover and stay out of sight until we come get you! We’ll lead them away from you!” Vash yelled as he took out his gun.

Roberto dragged Meryl and Y/n away to a different direction, while the two men ran elsewhere as the Badlands Boys followed after them hot on their trail. The more they ran, the more the groups numbers increased as they kept appearing from different hiding places within the city. The gunmen kept shooting at the Badlands Boys and were able to knock a good amount, but there were still more popping up.

“Needle-noggin, let’s split up at the corner. We can start cutting them off slowly so they’re not too much,” Wolfwood advised as Vash nodded.

“Alright, watch yourself and shout if you need anything,” Vash said as he ran in the opposite direction. Wolfwood ran into a large space and started shooting at more of the men as they started falling off from their motor bikes. The Punisher was finally making some progress until he felt something graze his arm. He briefly glanced to see a bullet cut through his left arm. Then he felt another bullet hit his leg as he started to limp. He could then hear his pursuers laugh as Wolfwood growled.

“We finally made a dent in him boys! That’s what you get for crossing our territory and taking us on,” one of them yelled before they continued to laugh. Wolfwood reached into his pocket ready to ingest the liquid in his glass ampule until his eyes grew wide in fear. He saw Y/n pointing their gun at some of the men. They shot at the group, as it drew their attention away from him.

“Don’t you dare hurt him!” Y/n yelled as they continued to shoot. 

“Y/n! Get the hell out of here! Don’t worry about me!” Wolfwood shouted as he kept shooting at the group as well. The Badlands Boys were definitely getting annoyed and went after Y/n. Y/n was able to land a couple more shots until one of the members knocked the gun out of their hands. Then another one knocked the living daylights out of Y/n out with a punch to the stomach and another through the side. Wolfwood’s worst nightmare was unfolding right before him as one member grabbed Y/n by the neck who looked to be gasping for air until they passed out. The Punisher shouted for Y/n to wake up but to no avail.

The members laughed as Wolfwood was seething with rage. If looks could kill, everyone would have dropped dead by now. He crushed the tip of the glass ampule and drank the liquid as steam started coming out from him. His wounds started to heal immediately as he fixed his stance, ready to fight some more.

“GET THE HELL AWAY FROM Y/N!” Wolfwood screamed as he started shooting at the group. He was starting to overwhelm the Badlands Boys as they struggled to fight back or land a single shot at them. At this point, the man was unhinged as he saw the person holding Y/n try to run away.

“And where do you think you’re going?!” Wolfwood threatened as he shot at their leg, stopping them in their tracks. Wolfwood then walked up to them as the man was quacking in fear. He let go of Y/n and held his hands up in defeat.

“If I ever see you or your group again. I won’t miss on shooting one of your vital organs next time. Tell the rest that The Punisher did this you you. NOW GO!” Wolfwood threatened as the remaining Badlands Boy ran as fast as he could with a limp. Wolfwood then looked at Y/n and held them close. Vash then came into view as he questioned him what happened.

“Y/n needs medical attention. We gotta find a place with equipment to treat them,” Wolfwood point out as Vash started looking.

~*~

After Vash and Wolfwood drove out the Badlands Boys out of the city. Some of the city folks came out from hiding after their lives weren’t threatened anymore. Luckily, the group was able to find a nurse to treat Y/n and their injuries. They weren’t in critical condition, but the nurse informed that that Y/n would have a hard time walking for a few days so they need to rest. Wolfwood constantly beat himself up just seeing Y/n bandaged up. He would wait hours just to see Y/n wake up and hear their voice, but to no avail. It wasn’t until Vash finally convinced Wolfwood to eat something when Meryl ran to the group.

“Y/n finally woke up!” she said out of breath. Wolfwood’s eyes widened as his legs started moving on their own before he could think. He ran to their room to see Y/n’s eyes finally awake. Y/n was taken aback by his entrance, as Wolfwood was by their side out of breath.

“You’re finally awake, you had me worried,” he told them as Y/n looked away from them. Wolfwood was confused to see them turn away as his hand slowly reach out to them.

“Go ahead, lecture me. Isn’t that what you’re here for? How I’m a hot head and how I got myself into-” 

“Y/n! That’s not why I’m here. I need to explain about the other day okay? Just listen to what I have to say,” Wolfwood begged as he held their hand and their shoulder lightly.

“I didn’t mean to tell you those things at the bar. They came out wrong, but it sounded better in my head okay? I was trying to say that I like how you’re willing to put up a fight for those you care about. I miss hearing your voice and how we did things together. I like how much you lighten things up whenever you’re around. You make me feel a certain way when I’m with you. You’re brave and have the guts to act on instinct. And it’s that bravery of yours earlier that made me worry sick about you too,” he explain while squeezing their hand with his.

“And what happened earlier with those Badland idiots made me realize...I like you too damn much to see you get hurt like that. So please, don’t risk your life like that again and let me protect you? I can’t stand to see you risk yourself like that. Let me protect you so I don’t have to guess if you’ll wake up or not from something like that. I want to spend more time with the person I like,” Wolfwood finally confessed as his cheeks and ears turned slightly red. He knew how much of a risk it was being vulnerable like this. He had no clue if these feelings would be reciprocated, but he had to hope for the best right?

“You...like me? You really like me?” Y/n asked as they stared at him. The man was too embarrassed to look, but he nodded his head. He hand was still in theirs, so that was a good sign right? It wasn’t until he finally bit the bullet take a quick peak at their face. What awaited him was those beautiful e/c eyes staring at him fondly with a pink blush dusting their cheeks.

“I like you too Wolfwood. I always had since we first met. I just can’t believe this was what you were trying to tell me at the bar days ago,” Y/n giggled at the last part. But they were smiling from ear to ear. Wolfwood let out a huge sigh that he didn’t know he was holding in for so long. He felt a smile creep up as he held onto Y/n and slowly brought them closer to him.

“I’m glad we’re finally on the same page, and one other thing,” he spoke as he leaned in to give Y/n a kiss on the lips. It was a bold move, but Wolfwood figured this was much better to do than try to say anything. Once he parted for air, he flashed Y/n a smile.

“You can call me Nicholas, but only you. Got that?” he finished as they nodded with a huge smile on their face. 

“Sure Nicholas, but can I ask for another kiss? Just so I know I’m not dreaming,” Y/n requested as the man chuckled. He would gladly kiss them as much as they want. After all, how can he say no to the person he loves now that the feeling is mutual. Maybe another time he’ll tell them he loves them. But for now, this will do.

[jacenbren]

I know it's probably been pointed out before, but I am Having Thoughts about the twins' shift in personality after the Big Fall so forgive me but I NEED to rant (here be spoilers be warned)

At first glance it's easy to think that Knives is very cold and emotionless and closed off, but when you look closer, you realize that that's probably the furthest thing from the truth. When we see him as a kid—no matter which iteration of Trigun you're watching—Knives is the high-energy, outgoing twin, with big ambitions and an even bigger desire to go seek out knowledge. Especially in trimax, he's the one who's the most intrigued by humans and wants to get along with them (it should be noted that both of the twins have a very black-and-white way of thinking and a very strong sense of justice; I personally headcanon both of them as autistic). He's the one who follows Rem around the ship, constantly bombarding her with why why why, and when she doesn't give him answers—either because said answers to his questions require a level of maturity he doesn't yet have to understand, or because Rem is fucking tired from taking care of twin alien boys who age rapidly and could blow up the entire fleet with their godlike powers—Knives stubbornly starts to look for them himself.

Then the Tesla incident happens. For Knives, this is the mother of all fuckery, and he basically is subjected to the alien equivalent of watching Mufasa get K.O.'ed by a herd of wildebeests in The Lion King. This scares the living shit out of him, because every one of his prior beliefs have just been obliterated. Knives being naturally very inquisitive and hungry for knowledge... well, after Rem comes and gets them and calms them down, Knives starts digging. He doesn't want to believe that this is what humans are capable of, but as he combs through the ship's data archives, he keeps getting atrocity after atrocity thrown in his face. Knives bears witness to the horrors of mankind's history, and with his black-and-white thinking, he can't help just fucking losing it.

We're all pretty aware that Knives wears his heart on his sleeve. Sure he acts all cool and calculating, but when he's actually in the heat of the moment, he clearly reacts to everything in a very emotional manner. That adventurous, energetic little kid he once was is still in there, but he's been damaged so very badly, and twisted to where his strong emotions are expressed almost entirely as anger and his inquisitive nature has become recklessness; Knives just doesn't know when to stop, because he can't. All he's been focused on for the past century and a half is the survival of himself and his kind, and he's basically been in a kind of high-alert attack mode since the Big Fall.

Knives has built up a shell around himself. A sharp, spiky shell of weaponized emotions, that nothing but Vash can break through.

Speaking of Vash, he was a pretty shy, reserved kid. Especially in tristamp, he's the softspoken, mama's boy type. He's pretty clingy towards Rem especially, and he's more than happy to let Knives do all the decision-making and talking. He fits the younger sibling archetype very well, despite him and Knives being twins.

When the Tesla incident happens, Vash takes it a bit better. He's not curious to a fault like Knives is, so he takes Rem's word for it when she reassures him and says that she would never let anything happen to him or his brother. Instead of flipping his viewpoints on a dime out of fear, Vash instead becomes even more firm in his ideals: yes, humans are by no means perfect, but they've been nothing but kind to him and Knives so far. Vash comes to the conclusion that if he doesn't give the humans a reason to hurt him, everything will be okay, so Vash constructs a wall around himself like Knives did, only Vash's is purely defensive and deliberately disarming. Especially after the Big Fall, Vash is extremely aware of how untrusting humanity is of him, so he pours all his energy into making himself as likeable and non-threatening as he can.

Unlike Knives, we rarely see Vash react to dangerous situations with genuine emotion. It's very obvious that Vash's careless, happy-go-lucky attitude is a construct that he uses to hide his true feelings, and a meticulously-constructed one at that—in the '98 anime, Wolfwood is one of the few people who seem to be able to pick up on this and point it out. Sure, Vash might be a genuinely good-hearted and hopeful person, but he's just as scared as Knives is, only he hides behind a facade and tries to make himself as palatable to humans as he can (yet another reason why I headcanon the twins as autistic; homeboy has been masking for literal centuries and when he finally ends up having a meltdown because of it he levels cities lmao).

Vash has also built up a shell around himself. His, however, is deliberately made to seal himself away from the world, out of fear for himself, humanity, and the rest of his kind.

forgive me for the long post but I am rotating these two little shits in my Mind Microwave omg

[hikennosabo]

#tristampparty day 7, episode 7: wolfwood

this is another episode i've watched multiple times, but mostly just the first half for Livio Reasons. once again... LET'S GOOOOO

i've seen ppl say this is razlo at the start of the episode... i wonder... he is more razlo-like in his movements, and he starts yelling a lot... but his expressions are still livio-like, i think... i mean he is more expressive BUT he's not grinning like razlo usually does? sigh... see the problem is that we ALSO have a level of EoM brainwashing (and whatever the fuck else is going on) on top of everything which throws a wrench in trying to figure things out. I Just Wanna See My Boy.

i love vash holding his gun backwards and using it as a bludgeon and i love going frame by frame to get cool screencaps like this 💖

wolfwood vial count: 4

at the very least, by the time of this next scene, it's definitely livio and not razlo because he's mumbling about "catching up" again which is a livio thing

when i saw the corresponding manga panel for this my brain neurons activated so hard LOL i wonder even more how orange will adapt razlo... since originally livio was trying to catch up with razlo. which i love and think is super interesting. so what is orange planning? ...is livio even aware razlo exists at this point...?

oh also livio looks a bit older here. which once again has me wondering about the timeline. the way the experiments were presented with rollo and nicholas, it looked like they were just on that table forever. as in there were no breaks in between. so... when is this? how long is it between livio volunteering himself for EoM and the experiments on him taking place?

i think it's cute that nico bumps into him :(

let's take ibuprofen together

i wonder who these people are... i thought they might be the EoM soldiers that razlo killed, but those aren't EoM uniforms... it looks like the prison uniform wolfwood was wearing... wolfwood tried to run away, so it makes sense that he wouldn't be the only one, although the phrasing "stand in our way" more implies they tried to stop the operation altogether. but... hmm... they just had regular goons as guards at the time of wolfwood's escape attempt. livio is special... would they really give him a job like guard duty?

CHAPEL JUMPSCARE

razlo sweetiepie there you are!!! mwah mwah mwah mwah mwah

HE'S SUCH A FUCKING DRAMA QUEEN HE'S SO FUNNY

since zazie is the one talking, our attention is drawn to them, so i'm glad i paused on this because the fact that legato is also looking up at wolfwood and smirking is so funny to me. EYES ON THE ROAD BESTIE!!!!

this line is always so funny to me. shonen protagonist ass

i love the scene of vash at the spaceship controls, the animation when he's working the keyboard is so smooth. hmmm, it also reminds me of wolfwood's introduction episode in 98... serves the same narrative purpose of Vash Knowing Things He Shouldn't about spaceships

i love that wolfwood thinks shooting the base of the cannon will do anything. like that's the first thing he tries. shoot first ask questions later i guess

going frame by frame on scenes of legato because i'm unwell... his eyebrows are surprisingly thick! and his eye color is grey... it was gold in 98... oh, i just noticed his eyelashes are light blue!! cute!!

i just think this is a handsome angle for him. his facial features are so pretty and delicate

this is why he buckled his seatbelt :)

... i need to stop posting legato pictures

no because what the hell is this

wolfwood vial count: 5

episode 5 had me asking about the wind... legato asks zazie if they were the one who caused the sandstorm (which they deny)... could it be... is it possible...?

my dumb ass watching this for the first time: damn it's so sad that livio is dead and now they're even gonna use his corpse for nefarious purposes :(

vash's plant markings are so pretty fr <3 orange was big brained for this too

everyone always points out the episode title card being a gut punch but THIS was an unexpected one:

this is how wolfwood is credited this episode and because i'm insane i immediately had to go back and check - this is also how he's credited in episodes 5 and 6: as "nicholas d. wolfwood/nicholas the punisher". in episode 4, he's only listed as "nicholas d. wolfwood". haha ouch!

this post ended up being a little less substantial than expected LOL but we'll soon be getting into the episodes that really give me psychic damage so :^) looking forward to it!!

[yurinaa-world]

Helloo! This is my first time asking for a HC, sorry if ther's grammatical error here hshshshs.

Can i get some Vash x Enemy! reader crumble? So basically, Reader is one of Knives allies but turns out they choose to stay along with Vash!

I think that's all, HAVE A GREAT DAYYʕ•̀ω•́ʔ✧

Characters: Vash x Gender-Neutral Reader

Synopsis: with reader that a part of Gung-Ho-Guns (Knives ally)

Warnings: fluff at the end, some spelling errors, mention of the reader almost killing him.

𝒱𝒶𝓈𝒽 "𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝐻𝓊𝓂𝒶𝓃𝑜𝒾𝒹 𝒯𝓎𝓅𝒽𝑜𝑜𝓃"

At first, when he met you after the close call where you had almost killed him by shooting him in the stomach and chest, he escaped your grasp once again. What a pity, isn't it?

The next time you had the fortune to meet the blonde man once again, to his dismay, while he’s talking to a couple of kids, your shadow overwhelms them with kids looking at you before he looks back at himself to see who you are, and his eyes widen at you before you smile at him.

"Seems like you're having fun, Stampede; it would be shame if something happened," you smile before he gets up and tells the kids that he’ll play with them another time before they leave to play without him before he looks at them with a fearful expression, "what wrong, you look so scared of me, your whole body is shaking." You smirked.

He begged not to do anything to this town; do whatever you want to him, just leave them alone, please. Well, you let him go and this town since you would rather not waste your time.

After meeting Vash a couple more times and being stuck in a lawsuit together, doubts start to sink in. What if you made a grave mistake by becoming allies with knives? What if you just walked into your grave without realizing it? Keep these thoughts to yourself since if you let them loose, and if it gets this to knives...

Secretly, you decide it would be better for you to leave without anyone knowing, but when preparing, it seemed you met the tall blonde once again. But this time, before you left and parted ways again, he looked at you and told you to join him instead. You know that it may be hard to run, but it's better than hurting people.

"I’ll take you up on that offer, Vash." He smiled and held his hand out for you to shake, and if you do so, maybe you can get another chance in life.

if you liked this, consider tipping me on ko-fi! it'd mean a lot!

[vashsscoreboardofpain]

WELCOME BACK SPORTS FANS ;D

Welcome back to the 2nd volume of trigun! The contestant has gone through some bumps on the road but nothing he cant handle. This volume comes with some interesting extra chapters. What a chance to gather points and get ahead of the tally

Lets all gather and see what he has prepared today!

Chap 0.1:

-1 "yikes statement" point for his sad thoughts. dont let the nice morning routine fool you. the contestant just woke up and held no punches with the "if he was honest, he wouldve been dead by now. he cant really live like a normal person"

Chap 0.2:

-1 "bad event" point for all the guns in his face while he was vibing with his music. this marks the start of the kidnapping arc

-1 "bad event" point for becoming a hostage

-1 "bad event" point for getting kicked even though he deserved it (ah the 90s)

-1 "action" point for using himself as a shield to save the girl

-1 "action" point for crying for someone "dying" even when he didn't knew the guy. His values and mentality lead him to believe that he has to protect everyone in the world. wait whats that-

-1 "yikes statement" for saying "its so senseless. i really hate seeing people die." The suffering division will count it because it relates to his trauma later in the story

-1 "action" point for putting himself in danger. Even if he is able to evade the bullet, it was really dangerous. It seems like the contestant is putting more on the line for the sake of points!

Chap 1:

-We are back to the main story!

-1 "bad event" point for the sad thought. Imagine not being able to look at the sky without getting sad about it

-1 "bad event" point for getting hit by a ball while lost in his sad thoughts

-1 "yikes statement" point for the "its the one thing that has kept me living for so long" Well damn, trimax vash keeps hitting the audience with that reminder, the audience goes wild but also sad. Also this point is brought by one of the most important mvps of this season: Legato Blue fucking summers!

-1 "bad event" point for getting scared to death with that...vision? the suffering division isnt sure but it counts!

-1 "bad event" point for getting accused of murder. The contestant leaves the ground ready for the next chapter. It's time for some violent times folks

Chap 2:

-1 "bad event" point for getting arrested for something he didn't do

-And he hits a flashback everyone!. He strikes 1 "sad outburst" point for not being able to stop crying after rem died. fuck.

-1 "bad event" point for not being able to stop the memory. The contestant is crying but his mind keeps playing that moment like a broken record. The ships fall, they flee, she stays.

-1 "traumatizing event" point for watching rem die. He watched the ship fall into the darkness without being able to do something.

-1 "action" point for changing his expression so easily the moment the girls went to the cell. The contestant is hitting so many heavy points already

-1 "bad event" point for getting pushed against the wall with enough strength to break spines. The audience flinches but we all know the contestant will make it out of this one

-1 "bad event" point for getting choked at the same time...the contestant is really going at full speed

-1 "action" point for fighting seriously after the girls were in danger. If the contestant keeps this energy up, he could hit an "angry outburst" point next chapter!

Chap 3:

-1 "bad event" point for the...attack in his arm? dear audience, the fight scenes in trimax are really something but we're doing our best

-1 "action" point for putting himself in danger while telling others to take cover

-1 "bad event" point for having his arm pulled out with the handcuffs. even if its his fake arm, it still looks pretty painful

-1 "traumatizing event" point for seeing dead people and WHAT THAT-

-1 "bad event" point for having a sad flashback in the middle of a fight.

-1 "yikes statement" point because the contestant doesnt think a physical injury is enough. his "I'm the one who's dangerous" is more than enough to grant him the point

-AND JUST LIKE THAT. The contestant beats his ass and puts the gun to his eye. 1 "angry outburst" point

-1 "action" point for his clear internal conflict. his hate for this murderer battles against the part of him trying to keep alive rem's legacy. What a sight to behold. The audience is in tears

-1 "action" point for calling out to his basically mom. Because what else can he do?

Well that was heavy

Chap 4:

-1 "traumatizing event" point for gathering so many scars in the past

-1 "yikes statement" point for basically calling his own body ugly.

-1 "yikes statement" wow another one. The contestant strikes with no fear and pulls out the "i have to settle the score. if i just went with my own life, i wouldnt be able to life with myself"

-1 "traumatizing event" point for finding monev's dead body on a cross.

-1 "bad event" point for getting attacked, even though he dodged it

Chap 5:

The contestant gathered no points this chapter! he is either resting or preparing something devastating for chapter 6

Chap 6:

DEAR AUDIENCE THIS IS THE MOMENT. THIS IS THE CHAPTER. HE HAS ARRIVED. PLEASE WELCOME OUR MVP, WOLFWOOD!

-1 "bad event" point for getting read by wolfwood like nothing. Wolfwood has just arrived and already handed the contestant a point

Chap 7:

-1 "bad event" point for being tricked in a really fucked up way. no one was able to see legato except him. therefore he cant warn people about him

-1 "bad event" point for getting injured with the door

-1 "bad event" point for dominique's first attack. although it was pretty cool. the contestant prepares himself for more moves

-and bam! 1 "bad event" point again for getting attack from behind

-AND THE CONTESTANT KEEPS GOING. 1 "bad event" point for having the gun on his chin

Chap 8:

This is the final chapter before trigun maximum everyone! lets see what the contestant has prepared for the grand finale

-1 "action" point for using his own pain against hypnosis like a madlad

-1 "traumatizing event' point for watching dominique jump...yikes

-1 "bad event" point for....fainting...from the pain???? we think????

-1 "bad event" point for being woken up by the worst vibes possible. i wonder who's fault is that

-1 "action" point for just yelling out "knives" in a moment of pure rage.

-1 "action" point for wanting to rush outside in a bad condition. the contestant has really picked up a fast pace

-1 "bad event" point for getting slapped by meryl. deserved by still counts

AND THE FINAL MVP IS HERE. MILLIONS KNIVES READY TO DEMOLISH VASH'S SANITY, EVERYONE CHEERS

-1 "action" point for not being able to shoot/keep knives away from him. alright, it seems like the contestant is going pretty fast..we havent seen this kind of speed since stampede

-1 "bad event" point for getting insulted by knives

-1 "traumatizing event" point for getting his angel arm released against his will. the contestant has mastered a continuous movement to keep striking points, but when will it be too much?

-1 "traumatizing event" point for the...other kind of attack knives is inflicting on him. knives is violating vash's body in more ways than the angel arm. he's invading the body looking to release all the power and pain vash keeps inside to keep others safe. he's not only releasing vash's weapon, he's using vash as a weapon.

ok this got dark, maybe we can go back a bit-

-1 "traumatizing event" point thanks to knives and the great power of psychological torture. the contestant doesnt need reminders of july but the mvp knives is here to remind him anyway

-1 "bad event" point for getting the rest of his body injured in an attempt to not release the angel arm

-1 "yikes statement" point for his sad thoughts right before disaster strikes. he has given up. "we were no good from the very start. i should have never been born" are devastating words that get the point

-1 "traumatizing event" point for releasing the power. he knows death and destruction will follow. people will die because of him, and he was unable to stop it

WELL WASNT THAT A ROUND OF SPORTS??? AJAJAJA :'D

The contestant is...not moving, but dont worry dear audience, he will be more than fine. While the first aid people take him to the hospital let's count the points of this wild round!

The total points of this volume are 56 points! The average per chapter is in between 7 and 8 points, but the last chapter gave the contestant an incredible boost, meaning his new total is 89 POINTS??? In just 2 volumes the contestant is closer to 100 points than the other contestants. Hold on tight to your comfy seats and call your therapist cuz we are in for a ride!

Please keep following us for sports updates!

And to see if the contestant will make it out of the hospital in time

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Trimax Thoughts Vol. 11 Pt. 1

Well, we're back after last week's suffering. Stream of consciousness ahead!

First off I find this a clever way to hide the hair! Dynamic posing! The poor unsuspecting fools who haven't read volume 10 would look at this and have no idea why we're sad.

Live Zazie reaction:

Augh, Livio driving the car... Vash asleep in the back... this does something to me.

He's so cute. He's not suffering or anything look at him.

Both Brad and Livio reaming him out for being too trusting that's so funny to me

To be quite honest, I feel like Livio was very much a victim in all this... that doesn't make him blameless in the situation but it was very much Chapel who grievously injured Wolfwood enough that he chose to take the double vials, and it was him who manipulated Razlo to be dependent on him and Livio to think serving was his only purpose. That said, there's something very heartwarming about Brad being so upset over Wolfwood's death considering his usual untrusting nature and the fact that he really didn't know him that well.

Livio apologizes for his body stopping the bleeding so soon after getting punched. Buddy. No. 😂😭

I feel so bad for the Plants in all this. However, much as it sucks for humanity, I'm very glad to know they can exert enough influence in order to resist killing their sisters and brother and are able to express their free will in some way... could they have refused commands before this point then? If so, that begs the question of why they didn't.

Someone arriving from space???

Oh, so the Plants feel an affinity with Knives. Is that because they agree with him and his methods? Is it because he's absorbed so many of their sisters already? Do they feel his pain and loneliness? I'm so curious.

Meryl!!! I missed yoouuuuu (and she immediately sticks out her tongue and flips a double bird at authority. love her.)

I love this... such a sweet and quiet moment with these two amidst the chaos. Milly putting her perceptiveness to good use to try and support Meryl as best she can. It makes me wonder about that 7-8 month gap and how these two survived not just what is basically the apocalypse, but also the struggle of Meryl's trauma from having Vash's memories dumped on her. I bet Milly was pretty instrumental during that period.

"It's too bad it will never be the same again." IN COMES VASH THE STAMPEDE SWINGING IN ON A LADDER

AUGHHHHHHH. This is so sweet aaaaaaa. Oh my god I just realized this is the first time they've actually seen each other since that town chased Vash out and Meryl had a breakdown. Where he thought she was scared of him. But she wasn't!!! He started to realize it after Marlon, but now he sees it!!! They are. so precious to me... :')

The Earth fleet is close!!! ...that's kind of bad actually.

Luida: "What happened to your hair?" Vash, very loudly: "ANYWAYS TIME FOR THE LAST STAND HUH?"

Oh Milly... I'm intrigued by the way she just plays along with it... she really is a lot like Vash. I wonder why Brad even did that though. I kind of feel like it was to keep people from acting aggressively towards Livio, as saying he died would lead to questions that would probably reveal Livio was at the center of it. Not for Livio's sake of course (I don't think Brad really cares about him) but Vash trusts him, Wolfwood sacrificed himself for him, and they really can't afford infighting at this point. ...never mind that Milly wouldn't have reacted that way anyways.

Ok lol I'd just been thinking "what happened to Zazie's arm and then..

hdjfhbvdjfvh

Oh, the coins are back. Interesting. Legato faceoff soon?

The hurt is palpable with poor Livio here...

Oh! I was right about Brad's reasoning! Cool! Also I think that's the friendliest we've ever seen Brad-

HJDHBJDHCBS???

BRANDON I'VE SAID IT BEFORE BUT EVERY INTERACTION YOU RISE FURTHER UP MY LIST OF FAVOURITE SIDE CHARACTERS

"Ya need to learn to let people help ya out" <-YES.

And of course Vash deflecting by playing up and overdramatizing what is probably a genuine reaction... I really think he knows this already but he's walled himself off so long. He appreciates everyone, he really does, but... them getting hurt is always going to be far worse than them being disappointed in him or himself getting hurt. It's not just because he cares about them... it's also just as much because he cares very little for himself. I also think he just... can't, right now. "Don't tell me something like that now" <- yeah because he's a gaping wound at this point. All he's done is put a stopper on his fresh grief, and he cannot afford to open it else he'll probably shatter and he can't right now.

??? Did Legato just kill Zazie? (Or I guess Zazie's body...) Also, he can walk again??? Huh???

Wow Zazie just took out Elendira and Knives... that's impressive actually.

AND THEY HAD A WORM IN THEIR VAGINA???

Oof, I don't actually want that to happen to Knives... that's pretty horrifying.

Ok. Ok Legato. I will readily admit you are one of the coolest people in this manga. That's incredibly badass. The amount of mental coordination he'd need to puppet himself around is incredible. And the reveal that he is literally puppeteering is fascinating. GIVE ME THE FORBIDDEN LEGATO LORE

So Vash is... making bullets with his powers? Ok... interesting. Wonder what they do? ...also he's using more of his powers. Hm. :/

Whjdfhsdfhb Livio jumpscare

Look at my dorky little guy

I'm so happy for him and his new haircut/outlook. (I bet Vash would know a little something about that huh? *cough cough* Eriks)

??????????? Hi Zazie. This was random...?

Oh, so this is Chronica! She's introduced pretty late in the manga. She's also an Independent it seems! And much more knowledgeable than either Vash or Knives. There's an entire generation of Independents from Earth! They have implanted neural blockers to prevent fusing??? Implications that fusing like what Knives is doing has happened before??? Hello??? Need to chew on this.

Vash WHAT are you doing freaking out like that hdfjhbsdfvh. Livio trying to calm him down like :|

Hjhsbjdfhbvs now they're all screaming at the bug... which. which is drawn like this.

...I wonder if Nightow-sensei was also upset by volume 10 and the rampant comedy right now is him coping...

Hjhdbfjhbfv they're so stupid

"...i'm gonna touch it" energy. HHDBSHCBHJBEJ VASH NO

...you know I do think there is something to be said about Vash acting like the irresponsible and foolish brother to... Wolfwood's brother. There's just. Yeah.

I love them both so much they are so stupid

Vash calling Elendira a bitch is so funny to me, especially because before the Ark he didn't seem to really know her at all. How much do you want to bet she dropped by just to annoy and vaguely threaten Vash and Legato while they were locked in that 7 month stalemate. Vash hears her walking into the room and is just like "GDI NOT AGAIN LEAVE ME ALONE".

Livio beloved... finally he's found purpose for himself... (please be careful against Elendira... I love you.......)

"Sometimes it's not easy to explain the power of someone's presence. Especially when it's someone so greatly and deeply connected to you. Some people can't even say it. But this helped Vash the Stampede realize... that he was feeling the same thing in his heart." <-he continues to haunt the narrative... but gosh what a thing to communicate to the reader here. what a thing, to realize how much you cared too late... but what a thing, also, to realize you had at all :') they both miss him so much… but he’s also their resolve

FINALLY we get to know how the Plants feel about all this!!! I feels so bad for them man. I feel they're similar to Vash in that they don't want anyone hurt really... but they're not able to fight their own fight. Pretty heartbreaking stuff.

Meryl... :'(

YES MILLY. CALL HIM OUT! Meryl is worried. Let her be worried.

AUGHHHHHHHHHHHH THIS IS SO CUTE!!! He's going to come back it means he's going to come back it means don't worry I'll find you again I'll come and find you this time I ahsjdcbhasjdvhbsjfhbv Vash you can be so sweet when you are not actively avoiding any and all emotional situations with people who care about you!!!

Chronica's going to turn off her limiter :O

Elendira: Hi :) *stabs you*

"I don't like nice men. They die so easily. He was like that too." <- Oh you did not just go there.

Elendira I think just has no faith in people. She looks actually a bit upset when she says "they die so easily" about "nice men". Then there's the "no matter what Vash the Stampede does, there will always be humans who ruin it." She's decided that while she wants Knives to succeed... if he doesn't, she'll just end the world regardless. Hm. Elendira you are so interesting to me.

Ohh... protecting the kids... Livio... :')

It's JASMINE???

YES! Livio has found his resolve! The cloak from Jasmine, the hat from the little kid! You can do it buddy!

[screechthemighty]

Trigun enjoyers we are SO back. I actually have another completed chapter but I DO want to finally start playing Final Fantasy 7: Rebirth tonight before my brain quits on me, so I'll post that tomorrow. Until then, enjoy the chapter that literally had to be restarted like. Three times. And then have a huge chunk carved out of it because it was too damn long. (Seriously, writing this was a nightmare.)

the unknowable tomorrow | a tristamp fanfic part nine: wolfwood

cw: injury description, blood, medical trauma, self harm, discussion of child abuse, panic attack, dissociation, amputation, brief gore.

citations: quoted dialogue from trigun stampede 1x8, "carry that weight" by the beatles, this meta post

.

It was the first and only time Wolfwood went through a doorway and hoped he’d see July City. What he got instead was a long stretch of sand, a hazy but massive object hanging in the sky, and two figures on thoma not too far away. Wolfwood didn’t have to look closely to see who they were. He could already guess.

Son of a bitch, damn it, damn it, Needle Noggin… Wolfwood bit back a barrage of curses and started pacing back and forth. Open the door. Open the damn door again. We talked about this, I should not be here, so open the door and get me the hell out…

Something caught his eye as he turned. Something was approaching the two figures from behind. It was half-shrouded in the sand, moving slowly and silently enough that neither of them had noticed yet. Wolfwood knew what a trail like that meant. Burrowing worm, one at least as big as the thoma. It was amazing how quietly those things could move. How quickly they could zone in on potential prey.

Shit.

Wolfwood’s feet were moving before he had time to think about it. “Hey!” he called. Getting closer just confirmed his suspicion. That puff of blond hair was pretty hard to miss. “Hey! Vash!”

Vash turned on his thomas. For just a second, his expression was bright, happy.

Then his thomas bolted. That split second of distraction was enough to unseat him. Wolfwood cursed and ran faster. He could see the sand starting to vibrate and push up as the worm emerged.

Shit.

“Hey! Hey!” Wolfwood nearly fell on his face yanking his shoe off, but managed to keep his footing. “Hey asshole! Over here!”

He threw the shoe. He was almost impressed with himself that he caught it in the eye stalk as it emerged. No time to gloat, though. The worm had locked eyes with him, and it was pissed. “Yeah, come on! This way!” He kept waving his arms and screaming, only taking off when he was sure it had changed directions. “Get out of here! Go!” he yelled over his shoulder.

Honestly, he didn’t have a plan anymore. His only thought had been getting the creature away from Vash. Now, Wolfwood was just running, minus one shoe, and hoping that another portal would open up and let him get the hell out of there.

Come on, Vash, give me a hand here!

The sand under his feet started to get loose. Almost liquid-like.

Zazie tended to keep the worms away from members of the Eye. At worst, a burrower would suck him in a bit and leave him submerged up to his waist, just to be annoying. But this wasn’t the future, and Zazie, if the little freak was around, didn’t know him yet. So, when something emerged right under his feet and grabbed him, Wolfwood didn’t feel a playful nip. The mandibles grabbed on tight.

It hurt. Just when he thought he’d gotten used to pain, life found some new agony to throw right in his face. The pain was eclipsed by panic as Wolfwood felt himself being pulled downwards.

No, no, no, shit, can I grab a knife? Will I be able to reach it in my pocket?!

One hand tried and failed to get the contents of his pockets while the other scrambled for purchase in the sand. Tiny, slender hands gripped that hand tightly. Wolfwood found himself stuck being pulled in opposite directions by two different forces. “Let go!” yelled Vash.

Wolfwood was tempted to start yelling, to ask what the hell Vash was talking about, to tell him to get the hell back. But he wouldn’t be able to open his mouth without getting sand in it. He could barely keep his eyes open. Vash was clinging to him with a desperate look on his face. Get out of here, get out, it’ll just drag us both down - !

“I SAID…”

Vash’s blue eyes flared in the light of the sun. Lights began to creep along his cheekbones as his expression turned from desperate to furious.

“…LET GO!”

Vash’s voice didn’t sound right. There was a secondary layer to it, like the humming of electric wires. It froze Wolfwood in place, his eyes locking onto Vash’s, onto the glowing marks on his face. This wasn’t the scared ten-year-old he’d held on that ship. This was…

Next thing Wolfwood knew, he was being dragged out and onto stable sand. He hadn’t realized that the worm had let go until he was lying on his stomach, bare foot being scorched by the sun. He tried to stand the second he realized, but fell back down immediately. “Fuck!” he yelped.

A new figure ran over and started dragging Wolfwood away. Vash’s markings were starting to dim, but still stood out against skin that had suddenly gotten very pale. Wolfwood wasn’t sure why, until he looked down and saw the utter mess that was his ankle. Lots of blood. Something that was either exposed bone or tendon. And it hurt. It was really up there in terms of non-Eye-induced pain that he’d experienced. Wolfwood’s hand instinctively went back to his pockets, reaching for a vial that…

Wasn’t there.

It wasn’t there. His pocket was just full of sand. He’d lost the only fucking vial he had left.

Shit, shit, shit…

“Aid kit,” barked a voice, jarring Wolfwood from his panic. “We’re not far from the ship. I can get him patched up enough to move him.”

As if this situation couldn’t get any worse. “I’m fine,” Wolfwood said, despite immediately knowing how ridiculous that sentence was. His body moved on instinct, trying to stand again as his hands kept desperately digging through his pockets for something that wasn’t there. “I’m really…”

Pain made his vision go white.

He came back to with Vash’s hand on his forehead and the feeling of someone tying off a bandage around his ankle. Wolfwood’s gaze shot around. There was a blood trail leading to where they’d propped him up. Vash looked terrified. There was a shoe shoved in his waistband. “Oh, hey,” Wolfwood mumbled, “you got my shoe.”

Vash smiled, bright and relieved. “Of course I did,” he said. “Don’t try to stand again. It’s really bad.”

“’s not that…” Okay, yeah, he couldn’t finish that sentence. He wouldn’t convince anyone it wasn’t that bad. “Just some pain.”

“Some?! I could see your bones!”

“It wasn’t his bones.” The new figure stood up. It took Wolfwood a second, but he realized he knew the guy. It was Brad, a much younger and less gray Brad. “But you need a real doctor. You won’t bleed to death before we get to the ship, but you won’t get far like this.”

He seemed awful fine with bringing a stranger on their fancy ship. Had Vash said something while Wolfwood was unconscious? He’d have to figure out what lie the kid had told so they could keep their stories straight. Unless Vash had told the truth, but Wolfwood was pretty sure even Vash wasn’t that dumb.

Wolfwood’s bandage was already starting to turn red. Brad was right; he wasn’t going anywhere in this state. He took a deep breath. “Okay,” he said. “Okay, help me up.”

He was mentally cursing himself, his rotten luck, and Vash-of-the-future as they helped him to his feet and onto Brad the Thomas, a barrage of curses that was only occasionally interrupted by another burst of pain. The entire ride to the ship passed in a blur of cursing, pain, and the occasional odd detail about his surroundings. He was riding double with Vash, who had definitely grown an inch. His clothes had more patches but he still had both arms. His markings had faded, but…what had he done back there? Was that a Plant thing? Was that the reason Zazie always seemed to know when Knives (and by extension Bluesummers) was in a mood before anyone else did?

I really don’t know anything about him. That should’ve scared the shit out of him (still kind of did, really), but…

Vash was only steering the thomas with one hand. His other hand kept an anxious grip on Wolfwood’s sleeve. Wolfwood had felt that grip before dozens of times from dozens of other kids. Vash could be so normal, and yet…

Wolfwood’s hands still felt like they were vibrating.

The contrast was a lot. He tried not to think about it too hard. Fortunately, his ankle bounced off the thomas’s side again, and he actually let his mental cussing slip past his lips. “Sorry,” Vash said. “We’re almost there. Promise.”

The ship was so damn big. It had been partially obscured by sand in the future, so he hadn’t gotten a chance to really appreciate the size. It hovered there, half-shrouded in the remnants of a dust storm, looking for all the world like a metal grand worm that had somehow learned how to fly. The sole survivor of Millions Knives’ attempt at judgement.

Noah and the Ark. A story he hadn’t thought about in years. That thing being up in the air was somehow just as unthinkable as an entire planet covered in water, but there it was.

They made their way inside using some kind of elevator. There were a lot of baffled shouts when people saw his ankle. Next thing he knew, he was being whisked away to get patched up. It was only then that the reality of “seeing a doctor” properly sank in.

It didn’t help that the space was just familiar in all the ways that made his skin crawl. Plain white walls and lighting that was probably supposed to be soothing, but didn’t do a damn thing to make him feel any calmer. The familiarity combined with the blood loss to create a visual static that made everything feel hazy.

“…it looks worse than it is. We’ll be able to patch it up easily.” He didn’t know this one. Male, dark almond eyes, on the short side, not that it mattered. Maybe if it had just been them, Wolfwood could take him, but it was never just them. There would be guards somewhere. “Are you all right?”

Wolfwood huffed in quiet disbelief. Why did they even bother asking? No, he wasn’t all right, and he’d really prefer it if they didn’t act like they cared. Don’t try to soothe your conscience by –

“Nico?” said another voice. That small, small voice sounded familiar and unfamiliar all at once. He knew it. He’d been called that before. He just couldn’t place who was speaking.

Who’d they take? They said they weren’t going to take anyone else. They promised, they put it in writing, what was I thinking, stupid, stupid, all that and for what…

“Nico.”

Someone squeezed his hand tightly. Wolfwood’s vision cleared. Vash was staring at him intently. Worried. Afraid…of him? No, for him? The pieces slotted back into place. Embarrassment quickly followed.

Get it together. “Sorry.” Wolfwood breathed deeply. “Sorry. Hurts like a…hurts bad.”

The doctor tilted his head slightly. His eyes were sharp and perceptive in a way that made his jaw clench. “I can stitch his up with just local anesthetic,” he said. “Will that work for you?”

The relief that he wouldn’t be put under outweighed his embarrassment at being read so easily. “Yeah. Sounds great.”

Losing all feeling from mid-shin down was freaky in his own way, but better than the alternative. Wolfwood even calmed down enough to watch the wound being stitched back up. Vash (who’d insisted on staying and wouldn’t let go of Wolfwood’s hand) glanced down a few times, but turned green each time. “It’s not gonna look any less ugly, you know,” Wolfwood said.

“I know…” Vash’s eyes started sliding back down, but darted back to Wolfwood’s face. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I promise I’m fine.” There wasn’t as good way to say he’d had worse, so Wolfwood just turned his attention back to his ankle. Despite what he’d said, it did look a lot better. Walking was going to be a problem, though.

This entire situation is a problem. On Ship Three, seen by…everyone, so far, no sign of an exit. What are you thinking, Vash? What could you possibly need me here for? The thought that there might be something worse coming than the worm made him feel more exhausted than the blood loss had.

I am kicking whatever’s left of your ass when I get back.

If he got back.

The doctor finished stitching everything up, bandaged everything, gave him a shot of something that he reassured him was antibiotics, and rattled off a bunch of instructions that Wolfwood barely registered. Vash paid attention like he was going to be quizzed on it later; Wolfwood figured that whatever it was the doctor wanted him to do, Vash would force him into it. He sure was keen on trying to help Wolfwood with his crutches. “This isn’t my first rodeo,” Wolfwood said as he stood. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Wait, really?”

“Yeah, I broke my foot when I was ten. Dropped a bedframe on it.”

“How did you drop a bedframe on your foot?!”

“Long story.” He took a few steps around the room, trying to get into the rhythm of it. “So…now what?”

“We should probably find Brad and Luida,” Vash said. “They’ll know what to do.”

Funny; Wolfwood hadn’t even noticed Brad had wandered off. Guess he had better things to do than see how things ended here. “No one’s gonna care that I’m here?”

“Not if you stay with me.” Vash grabbed Wolfwood’s shoe and started confidently walking out of the medical area. Once they were out of earshot, he added in a quiet whisper, “I told Brad you were part of the Ship Five skeleton crew and I knew you back then.”

“Good thinking.” They probably wouldn’t have any way of figuring out it was a lie; they didn’t even have an accurate death count, far as he knew. “Did you have security on there? Pretty sure they’d buy it if we said I worked security.”

“I think so. We have it on here.”

“Okay, so I was with security on Ship Five.” Wolfwood was confident enough in his balance to poke at Vash’s ankles with one crutch. “Keeping you out of trouble back in the day.”

Vash danced out of the way and grinned. “What trouble? I’m always on my best behavior.”

“Liar.” Wolfwood rolled his eyes but smiled, despite himself.

There weren’t a lot of differences between the Ship Three of the past and the Ship Three of the future. The biggest change was in how much newer everything looked now. There wasn’t as much sand and dust around, people’s uniforms weren’t so patched together. Wolfwood got a lot of double-takes again, but none of them had the same look of fear in this time. Probably because this time he was visibly injured and not carrying around a giant weapon.

A few people pointed them in the direction of the Geoplant, so that was where they went. Wolfwood hadn’t really been able to appreciate the place last time, not with Zazie doing…whatever the hell that had been. Now that he was able to take it all in…

Awe was his first emotion. The next one was a bit harder to name. It wasn’t quite anger, resentment, or frustration, though it had layers of all three. All three because when he looked at this place, he saw food. Enough food to give the supplies back home a boost. Nutrients for growing bodies that were already struggling to stay caught up. Maybe even enough to make something sweet for their shared birthdays. Things that could help, if they weren’t locked up on a ship floating out in the Sand Sea.

But those feelings were tempered by understanding. Ship Three probably couldn’t afford to share. If they advertised what they had, people would try to take it by force. They had kids, too; he could see a baby in a chest sling strapped to a woman tending some of the flora. He couldn’t blame them for prioritizing their own people. He just wished…

Life’s not fair, Nicholas. Get over it.

He was distracted from his thoughts by seeing the back of Brad’s head. He was talking to a brunette woman that he just barely recognized as Luida. It was weird, seeing her younger. She didn’t look much older than him, actually. Vash suddenly stopped at the sight of the two of them. “It’s not going to be weird, is it?” he asked. “Because of…”

Because they kept you locked up in a cell for weeks and I’m still a little pissed about that?

Honestly, if Wolfwood knew he had an exit strategy in place, he probably would’ve considered lighting a fire under their ass about that. But he was starting to think he was stuck here for longer that he’d like, and if that was the case, he could not afford to start shit. So he put those feelings in a box, locked it, and chucked it to the back of his mind. “I’ll behave,” he said. “Promise.”

Vash examined his face carefully, then nodded. “They really are nice,” he said reassuringly. “You’ll see.” And with that, he started jogging to the others. “Luida!”

Luida looked up at him and smiled. “Hey, you!” She scooped up Vash in a hug when he reached her. Wolfwood wasn’t sure how he felt about that. “What’s this I heard about a worm?”

“It tried to steal his shoe,” Vash said, pointing at Wolfwood as he did. “Luida, this is Nicholas.”

“From Ship Five,” Luida said as she stepped forward to shake his hand. “Brad told me. Thank you for your help.”

“Yeah, no problem.” Wolfwood hoped he didn’t sound too hostile as he shook her hand. She had more callouses than he was expecting. Then again, if the dirt stains on her knees were anything to go by, she was finding ways to keep busy. “Hope me being here isn’t going to cause any problems.”

“No, not at all!” Luida said immediately. “Any friend of Vash’s is a friend of ours.” Neither of those statements sounded like she was just being polite, either. “We’ll see about getting you set up someplace…I can check the room assignments on our way to the mess hall. I don’t know about you guys, but I’m starving.”

Vash nodded eagerly. Wolfwood was a little surprised by how quickly his own mouth started watering. Now that all the pain and dread was gone, he was starving, too.

There wouldn’t be a private room for him that night, but there was a space with two Plant engineers from the outside that could fit one more. Wolfwood wasn’t surprised by this outcome; they’d walked past a few converted rooms on their way to dinner, and all of them seemed to have three people minimum. Long as whoever I’m sharing with doesn’t have sticky fingers. That’d end badly for them, and he didn’t want the trouble of starting a fight.

The mess was more crowded than he’d expected. It put him on edge. Wolfwood kept scanning the crowds and mumbled a whatever, doesn’t matter when Vash asked him what he wanted. He didn’t realize how paranoid-bordering-on-crazy he must have looked until they’d all sat down and started eating. “No one’s going to try and steal that,” Luida said gently. “It’s not like that here.”

He'd hunched over his tray without realizing. Wolfwood hadn’t been that protective of his food since his training days with the Eye. Get it together, Wolfwood. He forced himself to sit up and eat like Miss Melanie was watching. Mind your manners.

Small talk. That was a thing adults did at meals, right? “Didn’t think you guys would be eating worm on here,” he noted. Wolfwood flinched immediately at his comment. Was that rude? “Not that I’m complaining…”

“It takes strain off the food producing Plants,” Vash explained. “We’ve been trying to show other people how. Not everyone likes it, though.”

Wolfwood raised an eyebrow. “They still wanna act like beggars can be choosers in all this crap?”

Brad snorted. Was that a smile? Had he just laughed? It happened so quick that Wolfwood wasn’t sure. Even Vash looked a little surprised. Luida shook her head in amusement. “I can already tell you two are going to get along,” she said.

Yeah, I don’t think so. But Wolfwood tried to remember that a little rapport could keep him from getting his head blown off. Best to lean into it. “Well, they’ll learn one way or another,” he said. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Vash trying to sneak a roll onto Wolfwood’s plate. He’d put a good dent in his dinner, so he was probably just being nice. Wolfwood put it back without looking anyway. We’ve shared enough. Eat, you little punk.

Vash got the message. He only pouted a little as he started taking bites out of the roll. You better not have sent me into this mess just to bully you into eating.

Wolfwood wasn’t sure what to say after that, especially now that the subject of the outside world had come up. They seemed uncomfortable discussing it. Maybe they were aware of how much they had compared to others. Wolfwood tried to focus on chewing slowly, on looking less like a feral dog they’d let into the house for some reason. People chatted all around them. A baby started fussing at the next table over. “Oh, no, Evie, shh…” The woman holding the baby started gently patting her back. “It’s okay, honey.”

Vash leaned over with a big smile and made a face. The baby kept keening and drooling. The poor mom looked at her wit’s end. Don’t say anything, Wolfwood told himself. Not your business. Don’t.

The baby, Evie, locked eyes with him. Wolfwood had taken off his sunglasses to be polite, but he was starting to regret it. Her fussing quieted; on reflex, Wolfwood smiled. “Uh muh,” Evie grumbled.

“Yeah, that right?” Evie stuffed her fist in their mouth. “Teething?” he guessed.

The mother nodded. “She just started recently,” she said apologetically. “We’re just trying to get through it, aren’t we, sweetie?”

Evie whined again. Wolfwood had a sudden flashback to tiny, nubby gums working at his fingers. The same hand that now only seemed good for hauling around a weapon. He wasn’t fit to be anywhere near something that small, that innocent.

And yet…

“If you get a wet cloth and stick it in the fridge for a bit for her to chew on, that helps,” he said. Wolfwood felt his face get hot, and he jerked his gaze back down to his meal. “Sorry. Not trying to tell you how to do your job.”

“No, no, that’s really helpful,” said the mom. “Thank you.”

She really did sound grateful, so Wolfwood guessed he didn’t botch that too badly. But he could still feel Evie’s eyes on him as he finished eating. Luida’s, too. She had a worried look the one time he glanced her way, but she didn’t ask any questions.

Wolfwood looked old enough to have kids, he knew. People had assumed he was a father before. He wondered if she was thinking the same—or wondering if he had been a father.

He didn’t bother trying to explain himself. He could think whatever she wanted. It wouldn’t even be that far off. He couldn’t deny that he’d lost family.

Vash shifted uncomfortably next to him. Before Wolfwood could try to get his casual mask back on in response…

“Do you know how to play the piano?”

It was definitely an attempt to change topics, but one Wolfwood wasn’t expecting to hear. “…no?” The closest he’d come to an instrument was the one harmonica that floated between kids and was solely used for being loud. “Why?”

Vash was asking because there was a piano on board. Fortunately, he was able to take Wolfwood to it alone, so they could talk in peace. “Seriously,” Wolfwood said, “how are things?”

“I told you, everyone is really nice,” Vash said. “It’s been good.”

“Are you sure? No one’s giving you any trouble? Has anyone else apologized?” Vash didn’t reply, but his playing started to slow. “This whole ship put you through a lot. I just want to…”

“I told you, it’s fine.” Wolfwood was taken aback by how forcefully he said it. The fierceness in his eyes pinned Wolfwood in place for a moment. “They’re better. They’ve really tried to be better…they can be.”

A slight tinge of pink spread across Vash’s cheeks—anger? Embarrassment? Hard to tell. Wolfwood didn’t have time to pick the expression; Vash deflated pretty quickly and went back to staring at the keys, his eyes all quiet and sad. “Can we not talk about it, please?”

“…yeah. Okay.” Wolfwood cleared his throat. He had a flashback to the run-in with the grand worm, the fierce look on Vash’s face when he said he was going back for the others, the way he’d pushed Wolfwood back without looking. That exchange felt like a shadow of things to come. Where did that come from? “Sorry. Just worried, is all.”

Vash nodded. “I know. I appreciate that, I just…”

He stopped playing entirely. Whatever thought he’d had went unsaid; instead, he leaned against Wolfwood slightly, just for a second. “Thank you for rescuing me,” he said. “I’m glad you’re back.”

Wolfwood tried to smile as he nudged back Vash. “You’re welcome. But you’ve gotta promise me that one day we’ll meet when you’re not in trouble.” He was addressing that to the Vash of the future more than the one he was talking to. “Seriously. People are gonna think you constantly need me to save you.”

The comment earned Wolfwood a laugh. Vash started playing again, switching from strings of one note after another to a real tune. It took Wolfwood a second to recognize it, but…

Once there was a way to get back home.

“Hey, you remembered,” he said.

Vash nodded. “I don’t know if this is right,” he admitted. “I keep meaning to see if we have the song anywhere in the media archives, but I’ve been really busy.”

“It sounds good to me.” And for all he knew, Vash’s added tune was right. He’d only ever heard it sung, not with accompanying music. Wolfwood watched Vash’s hands move across the keys. Wondered if he still played in the future. Remembered the desperate notes played somewhere in July and wondered if Millions Knives was thinking of his brother.

Wondered where Millions Knives was now.

Boy, you’re gonna carry that weight…

“Carry that weight a long time,” Wolfwood sang quietly.

He hadn’t meant to, but Vash didn’t know that. He looked up at Wolfwood, grinned, and started singing too. “Boy, you’re gonna carry that weight, carry that weight a long time…”

And Wolfwood had to smile. Because even though he had better pitch than a lot of the kids his age, there was still that bit of puberty vocal fry. It was bizarre seeing Vash the Stampede as just a normal kid.

Bizarre and strangely comforting, because Wolfwood knew this sound. It was something he hadn’t heard in a long time, but he knew it. And he couldn’t help being caught up in the moment.

I never gave you my pillow, I only sent you my invitation…

But that sprout of guilt kept gnawing at him.

And in the middle of the celebrations, I break down.

His weight to bear, even when everything else was going right.

.

“Nico?”

They were walking—or, in Wolfwood’s case, hobbling—back to where Wolfwood would be staying for the night. Vash had a distant look on his face, sad, hesitant. There were a lot of things a look like that could lead to, and Wolfwood wasn’t sure he liked any of them. “Yeah? What’s up?”

Vash’s gaze re-focused as he looked back up at Wolfwood. His intense blue eyes scanned his face carefully. Whatever they saw there, it made Vash shake his head. “Nothing. Never mind.” He gave Wolfwood a one-armed hug. “I’ll see you later, okay?”

“Yeah. Goodnight.”

Wolfwood probably could’ve stopped the kid—maybe he should have—but he was too grateful that thought had gone unspoken. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know.

Someone had set up an extra bed in the room, complete with a set of pajamas at the foot of the bed—other people’s hand me downs, if he had to guess. The two Plant engineers he’d be staying with were out, so he took the opportunity to use the bathroom uninterrupted. Wipe down bath, change into the pajamas for the hell of it, check the ankle. The bandages were still holding; it hurt, but it also could’ve been a lot worse. His dirty clothes went into the extremely small but working machine in the corner. Wolfwood took the opportunity to triple-check the contents of his pockets. Knife. Cigarettes, sixteen left in the box. Lighter. Two lollipops. Exactly two .22 bullets that he’d picked up because Vash of the Future was constantly forgetting to get ammo, the punk. The crumpled-up invoice he’d tried to give Meryl back when they’d first met.

No vials.

He cursed again and rubbed his eyes. He wouldn’t make it far on crutches, and walking on the injured foot without any kind of support was asking for all kinds of complications. He wasn’t suicidal, and even if he was, he’d take a faster way out than death by blood poisoning or heat exhaustion. Should I try to steal a thomas?

Should I even leave at all?

His immediate answer was yes, but if he thought about it for longer than one second…the thought of Vash waking up to find that Wolfwood had left without saying anything stopped him. Picturing the way the look of betrayal would turn into one of acceptance made his blood chill. He couldn’t even convince himself that it would be for the kid’s own good. He knew it wouldn’t.

At least you got to say goodbye to the others. You can’t do this to him again.

Wolfwood sighed. Unsatisfactory bitch of a situation, that’s what this was. He distracted himself by removing the cigarettes from the box, flattening it out, and hiding it in the pillowcase. Everything else went into a makeshift towel bundle that he held to his chest as he lay down. He was pretty sure he could pass off the cigarettes as having been handmade if he played his cards right, but the box was too civilized. And there was no way he was going to give up his one vice if he had to stay on here.

First thing tomorrow, I’ll ask where I can smoke. They’d probably give him grief for it, but he was past caring.

Wolfwood stared at the ceiling. He picked at his cuticles. He could swear he felt dried blood caked into them.

Find some way to leave and break Vash’s heart. Stay and make him believe in the future that Wolfwood was someone trustworthy. Abandon the kids. Kill and keep killing in the name of monsters.

He wished he didn’t live a life where all his options felt like bad ones.

It was a long time before he was able to fall asleep.

.

He was back in Hopeland, trying to corral the Thomas chicks, when he heard sniffling.

His first thought was that someone had upset Livio, that he was going to have to choose between bothering Miss Melanie about it or handling it himself and risking getting in trouble. But the sound was coming from upwards among the branches of the tree in the courtyard, and Livio didn’t really climb much. When he looked up, he could make out a flash of white clothes and blond hair against the dark green of the leaves.

“You gonna stay up there and cry,” Nico called, “or do you wanna come down here and help me?”

Vash stared down at him with big eyes, ears still slipping down his face. After some hesitation, he climbed down. It was a little unnerving how quickly he moved, but Nico didn’t say anything about it. Vash would probably just climb right back up if he did. “Thanks,” he said instead, before darting to grab a chick that was trying to wander off. “Get back here you little bastard…!”

The extra set of hands made getting the chicks back in their pen a lot easier. It helped that they liked Vash more. Two climbed onto his lap to eat right out of his hands as Nico scattered feed for the rest. “What’s going on?” Nico asked.

“Nothing. I’m…”

Nico flicked a feed pellet at him before he could finish the sentence. “C’mon, you wouldn’t have come all the way out here if something were fine. I’m not stupid.”

Of course, Vash pouted. But after Nico stood there a bit longer, tossing the last of the feed around, he relented.

“Promise not to tell anyone?”

Nico sat next to him and held out a pinkie. “Promise.”

Vash hesitated before linking his pinkie with Nico’s. Even with though it was just them outside, he leaned over and whispered the confession.

“I miss Nai.”

The three words sent a jolt through him. Vash must’ve seen the look on Wolfwood’s face, because he rushed out, “I mean…I miss the Nai I knew. Before everything went wrong. I wish that Nai would come back. Does that make sense?”

The worst part does, it did. As much as hearing that name sent chills down his spine, he understood. “Yeah,” Wolfwood said. He pushed down his revulsion and turned to face Vash. “I’m sorry. Real shitty of him to run off like that.”

Vash nodded. He almost looked guilty, but covered it up by leaning against Nico’s shoulder. “You’re here though, right?” he asked quietly.

“’Course I am.” Nico wrapped an arm around Vash’s shoulders and pulled him closer. “You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

He gently rubbed Vash’s shoulders as he surveyed the scene. There must’ve been something going on inside for it to be so quiet. Usually, the courtyard was swarming with kids. Couldn’t go anywhere without tripping over someone’s kickball game.

Thinking about those games set off a tickle in his brain. Wolfwood straightened up and frowned. “Hey, has that tree always been he-“

Something snapped off, crashing to the ground nearby.

Wolfwood woke up with a start, his heart racing, his hand already flying towards his pocket knife. “Sorry!” said one of the Plant engineers. “I am so sorry, I didn’t mean…”

It was equipment. It was just some weird, random equipment that he’d dropped. Everything was fine. Wolfwood wasn’t in danger. That didn’t stop his heart from trying to crash out of his ribcage. He took a few breaths before mumbling out an, “’s fine. Fine.” Inhale. Exhale. Do not freak out. You’re trying to be a model guest here, remember? “Hey, you can make it up to me by telling me if there’s anywhere to smoke around here.”

There was, as it turned out: some kind of system of catwalks around the ship that they used to fix things on the exterior. You could really only go out there if the ship had stopped, apparently, but it had, and he was the only one out there. He settled down with his injured food stretched out and lit the first cigarette. He’d started a third by the time Vash found him.

“I haven’t crashed your hideout, have I?” Wolfwood asked.

Vash shook his head as he settled down next to Wolfwood. “The engineers told me where you were,” he said. “Is your foot okay?”

“Little itchy, but I’ll live.” Wolfwood exhaled a cloud of smoke. The conversation reminded him of the dream he’d had. He could still feel the details of it dancing around in his head. The tree in the courtyard, where there’d never been a tree before. The weight of Vash leaning against him. He almost asked Vash about it, but he was suddenly afraid to know the answer. He focused on his cigarette instead, watching the smoke drift off towards the rising sun.

Vash leaning against him jarred him out of that focus. He didn’t say anything, just rested there. Wolfwood wrapped an arm around his shoulders on instinct. It didn’t feel as right as it had in the dream, not when Wolfwood had left that smaller, more innocent body behind. But it seemed to give Vash the same comfort.

They watched the sun rise long after Wolfwood had finished that last cigarette.

.

Vash dragged Wolfwood to see his room after breakfast. There was more color than he remembered, mostly from the several strings of paper birds in one corner. There were also a few clear containers full of paper stars scattered around the space. “A friend of mine showed me how to do that,” Vash explained. “Oh, that reminds me…here!”

Wolfwood almost missed Vash was holding something out to him. His gaze had been drawn to the handful of books on one shelf. One title stuck out: Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass. Had that been there last time? “Huh?” Wolfwood said. He pulled his gaze away from the book and to Vash. The kid was holding out a little jar, like what you’d keep medication in, but with a single red paper star inside instead.

“It’s for you,” Vash explained, “for luck.”

Wolfwood’s mind flashed back to crayon scribbles, crudely painted rocks, the rotating roster of artwork in Miss Melanie’s office. He pushed down his guilt and did what you were supposed to do: took it and smiled. “Thanks, Vash.” He glanced down at his ankle and grimaced. “I need all the luck I can get lately.”

“Oh, do you need to sit down?” Vash darted over to pull out the room’s sole chair closer to the bed. Wolfwood sat down and propped his foot up on the bed with a grimace. “Does it itch still?”

“On and off. Itching’s good, though. Means it’s healing.” He’d always kind of doubted that until he started taking the serum. His wounds itched like crazy when they were sealing up. “Not a bad setup in here.”

“Yeah, it’s nice,” Vash agreed. He sat cross-legged on the bed and looked around the room. “Sometimes I wish we could do something else with the walls, but we don’t really have paint.”

“What would you paint if you could?”

“Geraniums,” Vash said without hesitation. “Red ones. They’re a kind of flower. They were…”

He glanced over his shoulder at the pictures on the wall. That photo he’d kept so close to him before was in the center: Vash, Millions Knives, and the mystery woman. “They were Rem’s favorite,” he said quietly. “She said the red ones symbolized determination.”

Well, for better or worse, Vash had that in spades. “That sounds nice,” Wolfwood said. He thought about the few impromptu murals around Hopeland. They’d always brightened up the place. Miss Melanie might have scolded them for drawing on the walls, but she also never painted over them. Those pictures were a timeline. The history of everyone who’d ever been there.

Vash should get to leave a better mark than those tallies, Wolfwood thought.

As if on cue, someone knocked on the door. “Vash?” called Luida.

“Yeah, come in!” Vash called. Wolfwood gritted his teeth, but tried to force his face into a casual expression as Luida stepped inside. Luida stepped inside, her hands behind the back. She gave Wolfwood a smile and a nod before turning her attention back to Vash. “What’s up?” Vash asked, trying to look behind her back curiously.

Luida grinned and pulled the item out from behind her back. “Ta-dah!”

The jolt Wolfwood got to his system nearly knocked the blank expression off his face. He knew that coat. Everyone in No Man’s Land did. Bright red, that big hood he’d only seen Vash wear once, long and flowing. The coat.

“This is for you, Vash!” Luida said, beaming. “From everyone on Ship Three.”

Vash’s face lit up. “Really?!” He scrambled to the end of the bed to take the coat. “It’s brand new! Clothes are so hard to get…” He looked enchanted as he examined the coat. “What a pretty shade of red.”

“Is it too much?”

Vash shook his head. “No, I like red.” From the wistful look in his eyes, he wasn’t just thinking of the color. Vash hugged the coat close to his chest. “Thank you, Luida.”

“You’re welcome.” They exchanged a quick hug. “Brad called me for something. I just wanted to drop this off before I talked to him. Everything all right with you, Nicholas?”

“Good as they can be.” He adjusted his ankle, and hoped any strained expression on his part could be attributed to the pain. “Enjoying the shade.”

Luida, fortunately, accepted the answer. With the promise to see them at lunch, a quick tousle of Vash’s hair, she was gone. Vash hugged the coat tightly, his face pressed against the fabric Wolfwood knew immediately how he felt. New clothes were rare at the orphanage, too. He’d only experienced that never-been-worn fabric smell one time. Everything else had been hand-me downs. Not that he was ungrateful, but something that was only yours was always special. “Well?” Wolfwood said. “C’mon, let’s see it.”

He thought Vash putting it on would give him another burst of déjà vu, but it didn’t. The jacket was just too damn big. The sleeves hung over Vash’s hands and the body nearly hung to his feet. The effect was a little kid playing at being a legendary outlaw. Vash held up one sleeve-covered hand and frowned slightly. “It’s a bit too big,” he noted.

Wolfwood bit back a laugh. “Well, you’ll grow into it.” He couldn’t help himself; he had to flip the hood up and over Vash’s eyes. “You got a sewing kit or something?”

Vash was grinning when he pushed the hood back enough that he could see. “I can get one, I think. Why?”

“I can probably tack the sleeves up.” That wouldn’t solve all the jacket’s size problems, but at least he’d be able to hold things properly. “You can let them back out as you get bigger. That might not take too long with how much you’ve been growing.”

Vash’s face lit up more. “You’d do that?”

“If you can get me the supplies…” Wolfwood was cut off by a hug. “Hey, it’s just a few stitches.”

“I know, but…thank you.” Vash was practically bouncing with excitement was he pulled away. “I’ll go get that. Do you need anything for your leg while I’m out?”

“Think you can get me a new one?”

Vash laughed as he flipped the hood off. “I’ll see what we’ve got.”

His overly-long sleeves flopped at his sides as he jogged out of the room. Wolfwood couldn’t help smiling at the sight as he settled back down.

Guilt soon chased the smile away.

You can’t keep letting your guard down. But it was so easy to do when Vash was like this. Wolfwood couldn’t him seeing him as one of the kids. Even as Vash got older, all Wolfwood could think about was tiny hands grasping his, the way they started moving out from behind his legs as they grew bigger and braver, the way Livio’s tears finally turned into smiles as big as the sky…

Wolfwood winced. “Shit,” he muttered. He desperately rubbed his eyes and tried to breathe through the stab of pain in his chest. “Get it together, come on.”

In. Out. In. Out. A new twinge of pain jarred him back to the present. He’d started rubbing at the Meryl bruise without thinking. It looked worse than it had in July. Uglier.

Fitting, for a guy like him.

Wolfwood was still staring at it when the door opened. He forced his face into a smile when he heard running feet and started concocting an excuse about how he was definitely fine.

He didn’t need it. Vash wasn’t running to him in concern. He wasn’t looking at Wolfwood at all. He was pulling off the coat and folding it with shaking hands. His face was ashen pale, his eyes unfocused and damp. “…Vash?” Wolfwood said carefully. “What happened?”

“…gotta go…’ Vash put the coat at the end of the bed carefully. “I’ve got…I’ve gotta go…”

“Go where? What happened?”

“They…” Tremors had spread from Vash’s hands to his entire skinny body. Whatever he wanted to say was trapped by the gasping sob that erupted from him instead. He sounded like the littles who were so upset that they forgot how to breathe.

“Okay. Okay, sit down.” Wolfwood stood up and tried to guide Vash to the floor. Vash resisted, shaking his head, trying to back out of reach. “Kid, you’ve got to calm down before you pass out.”

“I’m s-sorry, I’m…” Vash’s chest heaved. He was hyperventilating now. Not good. “I-I…”

Wolfwood’s hand flew to his pocket. The lollipop Vash had rejected all those years ago was still there. “Here...” Wolfwood unwrapped it. “Open your mouth.”

“Wh-wh…?”

“Trust me, okay. It’ll help.” I hope.

Vash did, allowing Wolfwood to stick the candy in there. “Just focus on that,” he said gently. “Don’t worry about anything else for a second.”

To his relief, Vash did. Tears still fell down his cheeks, but soon his chest wasn’t heaving so hard, and his shaking was a bit more manageable. Wolfwood didn’t know why that worked, only that it did, and he was glad he’d remembered. He pulled off his jacket and wrapped it around Vash’s shoulders. “You’re safe now,” he said. “Can you tell me what happened?”

Vash ducked his head. The lollipop creaked slightly as his teeth worried away at it. “…I went to find Brad to show him the coat,” he whispered, “but when I got to his office, he and Luida were listening to something…th-they got the black box from Ship Five to work.” Vash shut his eyes tightly. “They know. They know about Nai. They know about what I did.”

Wolfwood’s blood ran cold.

It ran colder at the sound of someone knocking on the door. “Vash?” called Luida.

Shit. Wolfwood shoved Vash towards the bathroom. “Hide,” he mouthed. Out loud, he called. “He’s not here…hang on!”

He grabbed the crutch and started hobbling towards the door, making sure to make enough noise to cover Vash’s movements. Once the bathroom door was closed, he opened the bedroom door. Luida was there, her hands knotting anxiously in front of her. Behind her…

The feeling that sank into Wolfwood’s gut was one he hadn’t felt in a while. He may not have smelled alcohol or been forewarned by heavy footsteps, but he knew better than most what a look like that meant. Brad was furious. Furious in a way that made Wolfwood want to turn around and hide in the bathroom with Vash. Furious in a way that forced Wolfwood to stand his ground, because he was certain of one thing.

“Where is he?” Brad asked.

They’re gonna kill him.

And suddenly, Wolfwood felt very calm.

“I asked him if he could get me more painkillers,” he said. He was a picture of confused innocence. Lying came naturally in situations like this. “He hasn’t gotten back yet. Why, what’s going on?”

Brad sharply turned and started walking away. Luida hesitated. “If he comes back before we do, just keep him here, okay? We need to talk to him. It’s important.”

“Why?”

Luida ran after Brad. They started hissing to each other, but they were too far away for him to make it out what they were talking about. Didn’t matter. Wolfwood took a deep breath, closed the door, and walked to the bathroom. Vash was curled up in the shower, crying quietly.

“C’mon,” Wolfwood said. “Grab your stuff. We’re going.”

“…we?”

“Yes. Hurry. I don’t know how much time I bought us.” Wolfwood turned back to Vash’s room and started looking around. “Do you have a compass?”

“You’re not…going to ask what I did?”

Oh. Right. He’d forgotten how annoyingly self-blaming Vash could be. Wolfwood took a deep breath, remembered the scared ten-year-old who’d starved himself out of guilt, and turned around. Vash looked a lot like that kid again, bundled up the way he was in Wolfwood’s jacket, fresh tears in his eyes. “I already told you,” Wolfwood said, “I don’t think you’re a monster. Whatever they heard doesn’t change that.” Wolfwood rested his hands on Vash’s shoulders. “We can sort out what happened later. Right now, the only thing I care about is making sure you’re safe. Understand?”

Vash looked up at him with the uncomprehending stare of a kid who couldn’t quite believe that he was being looked after. He nodded slowly. “Okay,” he whispered.

“Atta boy.” Wolfwood ruffled Vash’s hair and forced a smile. “Your stuff?”

By the time they’d thrown together some supplies, Vash had stopped crying. There was still some panic in his eyes, but the rest could be wiped away with cold water, the weight of Wolfwood’s jacket, and encouragement to breathe deeply. “If anyone asks, we’re just going to get some air,” Wolfwood said. “You’re allowed to do that, right?”

“As long as you don’t go too far.” Vash clutched the bag to his chest. “Do you think anyone else knows?”

I hope not. “Guess we’ll find out.” Wolfwood was already bracing himself for the pain of a fight. He’d do it if he had to, but he wasn’t looking forward to it. Fortunately, they didn’t run into any trouble at first. They were either ignored or briefly greeted as if nothing were wrong. Wolfwood stayed on alert anyway. Now was not the time to let his guard down.

Thank God he didn’t. Just as they were getting close to an exit, Wolfwood heard a familiar voice. Luida. He immediately turned around, leading Vash behind a corner a bit further back. “What do we do?” Vash whispered.

Good question. Wolfwood glanced down at his ankle and grimaced. I’ll just slow him down like this. “We’re gonna have to split up,” he said. “I’ll distract them, you get out of here. Are there any landmarks nearby? Something easy to find?”

“Uhm…there’s a big rock north of here with an escape pod wreck next to it. But…”

“Good, meet me there. If I don’t show up by tomorrow morning, keep moving. I’ll find you.”

“But what if you get in trouble?”

“I always get in trouble. Always manage to find my way out of it, too. Worry about yourself, okay?”

Vash hesitated. “…do you promise you’ll find me?”

“Of course I promise. Gonna have to get this back from you, if nothing else. I just got this outfit cleaned, so don’t lose it.” Wolfwood adjusted his jacket and held out his pinkie to Vash. “And don’t do anything stupid, okay?”

Vash nodded and linked pinkies with him. “Okay.” For a second, Vash looked like he wanted to say something else. Instead, he let go and started walking away.

Good. No time to draw this out. Wolfwood straightened up, took a deep breath, and started speed-hobbling back in the direction of Luida’s voice. He caught her and Brad just as they rounded a corner.

Showtime.

“What the hell is going on?” Wolfwood demanded. It didn’t take a lot of effort to sound pissed. Frankly, he’d bash their hands together right now if that wouldn’t ruin the plan. “Vash never came back. I can’t find him anywhere.”

Luida froze. Wolfwood could see the lie trying to from behind her eyes. He kept pushing. “I was gonna try checking the Plant room, but this place is massive, and I got…” He looked around. No sign of Vash. Hopefully he was clear or close to it by now. “Do you think someone might’ve grabbed him? Is there anyone on here who knows what he can do?”

“That’s…” Luida glanced at Brad, whose eyes still screamed danger. “No, that’s not what we think happened.”

“Then what?! Hey…” Wolfwood grabbed Brad’s arm as the other man tried to step away. “Tell me, damn it! Where is he?!”

“We- “ Luida stepped between them and lowered her voice. “We’re worried he may have run away. Or may be trying to.”

“Why the hell would he do that?”

Luida and Brad exchanged another glance. For a second, Wolfwood was worried his cover was blown, but when they looked back at him…

“You should hear this,” Brad said.

It wasn’t what Wolfwood was expecting, but he decided not to look a gift thomas in the mouth. Going along with whatever was going on here gave Vash a chance to get away from the ship. Yes, Wolfwood would have to haul ass to catch up to him, but he could figure it out.

Besides, this could be a chance to get some answers. He needed to know what these two thought they knew and what the actual facts were. It could help with whatever bullshit Vash was dealing with mentally.

They led him deeper through the ship, eventually stopping in some kind of workroom. Once the door swished shut behind him, Brad picked up a tablet from the table and started tapping away at it. “I’ve been working on Ship Five’s black box since the crash,” he explained. “I finally managed to figure it out today. This was taken after the ships hit the planet.” He held the tablet out to Wolfwood. “Vash said there was another Independent, but that they were probably dead. He didn’t mention any of this.”

Wolfwood took the tablet carefully and pushed the big play button in the center. A recording started playing. He’d seen enough destruction in his life to know what it sounded like. Above the chorus of wind and flames, he could just barely hear a voice. A child’s voice, but at the same time…

“A brilliant success! I finally did it!”

…somehow not a child’s voice. It sounded like Vash, but wrong, like someone had merged Vash’s tones with the weird, feral fervors Bluesummers would get into sometimes. That was Millions Knives. It had to be.

The next voice to speak was definitely Vash’s, thick with fear and anger: “But you killed all of them, even Rem!”

“Don’t you scold me!” Knives’ voice grew mocking, even crueler than before. “You’re my accomplice. You’re the one who gave me the program access code. Isn’t that right, Vash?”

Wolfwood could just make out strangled whimpering, the sound of footsteps running away. Knives’ laughter followed Vash as he fled. Brad reached over to shut off the recording. “That was the last we heard from either of them,” he said. He started pacing, agitated. “I should’ve known he was lying to us.”

“Brad…” Luida’s hand hovered near her mouth, as if she were considering chewing her nails and only barely stopping herself. “We don’t…we don’t really know what happened…”

But she didn’t sound convinced of that. And Brad really sounded convinced that he knew exactly what had happened. Wolfwood stared down at the screen. Vash’s horrified tone echoed in his ears.

How did you not hear that?

“...you actually believe that shit?”

From the look on Brad and Luida’s faces, that was not the reaction they were expecting. “You don’t?” Brad said.

“It’s Vash. He doesn’t have a mean bone in his body. It’s a miracle he eats meat. If he gave his brother that access code, it wasn’t to kill people.”

“Why else would he have given it to him?”

“No clue. Were you gonna ask or…” Frustration bubbled up inside him, nearly choking him. “You know what? Forget it. I don’t know what else I expected.”

That sure got their attention. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Luida asked.

“It means you kept a kid handcuffed in a locked room and let him starve himself until he proved he was useful,” Wolfwood snapped. Luida stepped back, eyes wide. “Yeah, he told me about that. Don’t worry, he let me know you talked to him while he was wasting away. Didn’t do shit else, though.” She opened her mouth to reply, but Wolfwood wasn’t interested in her excuses. “Hey, serious question, does he get a trial this time, or are you just going to execute him right off the bat? Don’t want him to be a drain on resources, right? You gonna be the one holding the gun?”

“That’s enough,” Brad interjected.

Wolfwood laughed, if you could even call it a laugh. Even Brad’s sharp tone wasn’t enough to make him back down. “Don’t start with me. You’re worse than she is. Vash thinks you’re his friend, and here you are ready to end him over…what, ten seconds of audio? Mask came off real quick, huh?”

“He’s the one who betrayed us!”

“You isolated and tortured him, and all he’s done since is help!” Wolfwood yelled back. All he could think about were Vash’s scars. Years of blood and pain for a species that just kept hurting him. And it all started here. “If he wanted you dead, he could’ve sabotaged every Plant he ever helped, but he didn’t! He just keeps giving and giving and giving to people who can’t give him a damn thing back, but hey, that works out fine for you, doesn’t it?!”

Crunch.

Wolfwood glanced down at the sound. It was the tablet, or what was left of it. It’d bent under his death grip, the fractured screen digging into his fingers. They were bleeding, but he didn’t feel any pain. He didn’t even feel the prey animal fear he usually felt when he broke something.

He wasn’t a little kid anymore. He didn’t have to be afraid of them.

“You disgust me,” Wolfwood said finally. “You were supposed to be better than…”

Better than me. You were supposed to be the people who gave a shit, but you’re just the same as I am. He’s just a means to an end to you, too.

He didn’t say those parts, but they seemed to get the gist of it. At least Luida had the decency to look ashamed. Brad just looked blank, aside from his clenched fist. Try it, asshole. See how far you get. “I don’t want any part of this,” Wolfwood finished. “You want to hang him, do it yourselves.” He tossed what was left of the tablet on the table, grabbed his crutch, and walked out the door.

I have to get to him. Nothing else mattered. Wolfwood wasn’t sure where things would go from there, but he could not let these people hurt Vash again. Can I make it on foot, or should I just steal a Thomas?

“Hey!”

I’ll probably have to steal one. It’ll be easier to carry supplies that way…

“Hey!”

Ah shit. Brad. Wolfwood set his jaw and kept walking, but he was slowed down by the crutch. Brad caught up to him quickly. “Listen, you bastard,” Brad growled. A hand roughly grabbed Wolfwood’s shoulder.

Instinct kicked in.

And it really was instinct, because the logical part of Wolfwood knew this was a bad thing. He’d already caused enough trouble with that tirade back there, and he needed to keep his head on straight if he wanted to get off the ship. But that hand flipped a switch, made him think of stale alcohol and ceremonial garments, of two different sets of fists, and the part of him that was furious took over. Wolfwood threw every ounce of rage in him into his punch, and for a second, he felt good.

Then he realized at least five people had seen him knock Brad on his ass. One of them looked like security.

…shit.

Wolfwood dropped his crutch and ran.

Damn it, damn it, son of a bitch, idiot. Wolfwood allowed himself a few curses before he focused on remembering the way they’d gone. He’d tried to count the doorways and turns on his way there, but this ship was too damn big. He was tempted to risk jumping from the lowest window he could find, but that would just mean two broken legs, and that wasn’t going to help anyone.

Shouts followed him. They must’ve sounded the alarm. He was an outsider who’d just decked one of their people. In the outside world of No Man’s land, that was a shooting offense for some communities. Even if Ship Three was more civilized (and he was feeling less and less certain of that by the damn minute), he was looking at time in a jail cell. The longer he spent away from Vash, the more danger the kid was in. He could not afford to get caught.

But they knew the ship better than he did. Next thing Wolfwood knew, he’d taken a wrong turn, ended up at a dead end, and there were men with batons behind him. “Listen,” said one of them, “just calm down…”

Wolfwood turned to bull rush them.

Of course, it was when only when he’d committed to the attack that he noticed one of them had a gun.

Wolfwood braced himself mentally for the pain of a bullet. He was not expecting the feeling of little stabs through his shirt and into his chest. He was able to take a few more steps before he started slumping to the ground.

Did they steal my fucking bones -

Next thing he knew, he was lying on a cold floor. His body ached, but Wolfwood forced himself upright. He was in a small space between two doors, each with a small window. One looked out over the sands of No Man’s Land; the other looked into a near-identical space, with a distant window that looked into what might have been a hallway. It didn’t look like the cell they’d thrown Vash into: no scratches on the walls, nothing that even resembled furniture, no other doors that lead to a bathroom. Wolfwood experimentally pounded his fist against one of the windows. The glass felt thick; his strongest slams barely shook it.

“Hey,” Wolfwood called. He hit the window again. “Anyone there? Hello?”

There was no one on the other side, no signs of movement. They’d just thrown him in there and left him. Had they figured out that Vash wasn’t on the ship anymore? Were they going after him right now?

You abandoned him. You let him down again. God only knows what they’ll do to him and it will be your fault.

Wolfwood pounded his fists against the window and screamed himself hoarse.

No one heard him.

He didn’t even make a dent.

.

At some point, his brain shut down.

He’d reached that point more than once when he’d been in Conrad’s clutches. Trying to resist, to fight, to escape, took too much out of him. Everyone had a limit, and he eventually hit his. He ended up slumped in a corner, hands stinging and aching, trying to breathe his way through panic.

They can’t leave me in there forever, can they? He wasn’t sure how long it had been. The sun had gone down; Vash wouldn’t leave until the morning, assuming he left at all. Dumb bastard might try to stay and wait past the point that it was safe. Wolfwood’s fingers kept kneading into the bruise. The pain wasn’t enough to drag him back to the present.

I have to get out of here. But he was too stuck in the what-ifs of what they were going to do to Vash when they got him. Would Vash even try to argue in his own defense? They know what I’ve done, he’d said. He blamed himself the same way kids who came from families that spoke with their fists blamed themselves when they dropped things, when they made a mess, when they acted like kids…

The sound of a door opening made Wolfwood’s head snap up. It wasn’t his door, but it was the first noise he’d heard in a while. He made it to the window in time to see a figure entering the other empty room and putting something on the floor. “Hey!” Wolfwood pounded on the window. “Hey, I think I popped a st-“

The lie died in his throat as the figure straightened up. Even the realization that he’d given Brad a black eye didn’t make him feel good. All he could think of was how badly he wanted to make it a matching set. “Where’s Vash?” Wolfwood growled. Brad glanced at him, then started for the door. “You bastard, I’m talking to you! Where is he?!”

Brad went through the door and closed it behind him. Once that door was shut, Wolfwood’s door started opening. He backed away, hands clenched into fists, bracing himself. Nothing happened once the door opened; the only thing in the other space was a bundle of cloth with a piece of paper on top.

A bundle of cloth that Wolfwood knew, immediately.

He scrambled forward. It was his jacket. The paper on top had Nico written on it in careful, but still childlike handwriting. Wolfwood’s mouth went dry as he knelt down and picked up the paper with shaking hands.

What did you do, Vash?

He opened the note.

Nico:

I’m sorry I didn’t wait. Don’t be mad, but I’m going to find my brother. I shouldn’t have let him run away. I know you think I’m not a monster, but I have to fix this. It’s my responsibility, and I owe it to everyone after what happened.

Thanks for everything you’ve done for me. It really meant a lot. I don’t know if we’ll ever see each other again, but I hope we do. I hope you can get back to your family. Tell them all I said “hi” and that they should listen to you. You’re pretty smart most of the time.

Thank you.

-Vash

Damn it.

Damn it, damn it, he should’ve seen this coming. It was how they’d met. Of course he’d try to fix things with Knives himself. When Wolfwood glanced up, Brad was standing at the window. His expression had changed, and it wasn’t just the bruise. He looked…hollow, almost. “He turned his tracker back on,” Brad said. “We think he wanted us to pick up his thomas once he got wherever he’s going. Luida’s gone after him…”

“You’ve killed him,” Wolfwood said. Memories of July kept flashing through his mind. The harm he’d been too much of a coward to stop until it was too late. Vash’s limp body in a tank, Millions Knives’ grasping tendrils digging into his back. “You know that, right?”

Brad’s brow creased slightly. That expression switched to wariness, maybe fear, as Wolfwood got to his feet and stalked towards the door. “Let me out,” Wolfwood demanded.

“Luida’s gone after him…”

“You think I trust him with either of you after this? You think she’s going to be enough?” Wolfwood stopped just short of his face being pressed against the glass. It was probably just as thick, but he was tempted to start trying to break it again, just in case. “This is not a request. You’re gonna let me out, you’re gonna give me a thomas, I’m going to go get him if there’s anything left to get, and you people are never going to see him again, are we perfectly clear?”

Brad’s eyes met his. That hollow look was even stronger there. Did he feel regret? Was he even capable of that? Wolfwood shoved down his uncharitable thoughts and focused on glaring the other man down. “Don’t you think you’ve done enough?” Wolfwood said.

They stared each other down for what felt like an eternity. Brad was the first to break eye contact. “You assaulted a member of the crew,” he said dully. “I can talk to them about letting you out once Vash is – “

Wolfwood punched the glass as hard as he could. Brad just kept talking, but Wolfwood couldn’t hear him past his barrage of curses. He kept swearing at the other man’s back as he walked away, at Brad and Luida and this whole stupid, traitorous ship. Eventually at himself, both for his own part in Vash’s suffering, and for the sheer stupidity of trying to punch through the glass. Now his wrist and his ankle hurt. Fan-fucking-tastic.

He paced around the now bigger, but no more helpful space. He read the note over and over. He dug through his pockets. Of course, he’d given Vash the lighter and the pocket knife as part of their survival supplies, so he was left with two useless bullets and a handful of cigarettes. Nothing he could use to get out of there.

He picked at his cuticles and kept on pacing through the pain to keep his mind from slipping, even as the sun went down and a sandstorm kicked in outside. He felt the floor rumbling beneath his feet, but he was too wrapped up in his thoughts to wonder where they were going.

At some point, he thought he started praying.

Please, please, please. Come on, please, why him? Just leave him alone, let him be safe, just please let me be able to do something for once in my life…

Someone knocked on the glass. Brad was back. He looked a wreck. Wolfwood knew, somehow, he knew from the second he saw that expression, but when Brad actually said it out loud…

“Vash is hurt.”

…it still hit like a bullet to the chest.

“He’s headed to the medbay right now. Luida said he’s asked for you.” Brad hesitated. “I can let you out, but you’re going back in if you do anything stupid.”

Wolfwood could read between the lines. Don’t make that black eye a matching set. Don’t interfere with Vash receiving treatment. Don’t be an idiot. If he wanted to get Vash out, he’d have to be smart. And right now, that meant keeping his hands to himself and figuring out how bad the situation really was.

“Okay,” Wolfwood said. “Okay.” He took a deep breath, then another, and put his jacket back on. When he looked back up, Brad was staring at him skeptically. “Do you want me to pinkie promise or what? I swear I won’t do anything stupid.”

Brad hesitated, then stepped out of sight. The door started opening. The only thing that kept Wolfwood from rushing the door was the awareness that it’d look like a threat, and that he had no idea how to get to the medbay anyway. He’d have to follow Brad.

Just pretend you’re dealing with Midvalley. He’d always been able to avoid punching that son of a bitch no matter how annoying he was. (Okay, most of the time he’d been able to avoid it, but August didn’t count.) Brad kept a safe distance as he started walking. Wolfwood couldn’t even get some sick enjoyment out of the fact that he’d spooked the guy.

His mind raced with what might have gone wrong. On the scars on Vash’s body and which ones could have been caused by Knives. He tried to keep his head on straight. Focused on the pain in his shin and his ankle and his wrist and not on how badly he wanted to burn this place down.

That calm nearly went out the window when they arrived in the medbay.

It was obvious where Vash was; the cluster of doctors and the sound of Luida’s voice gave it away. “Vash, I need you to breathe, okay?” she said. Her voice was shaking, thick with tears. “You’re safe now, I promise.”

Wolfwood pushed past Brad, limping as fast as he could towards the sound of Luida’s voice. She was hovering over a gurney, holding onto one small, pale hand while two doctors looked at something on the other side. Vash lay on his back, eyes clenched shut and body tense.

It’s worse when you brace yourself but somehow, he could never stop himself.

“Vash!” Wolfwood called, his voice cracking.

Vash’s eyes flew open. “Nico?”

Wolfwood didn’t remember running to Vash’s side, didn’t remember if he pushed Luida out of the way or if she moved on her own. His only focus was on getting to him and seeing how bad the damage was. He clasped one cold hand tightly in both of his.

Only the one, because his left arm was gone.

The cut looked clean. That was about the only good thing about the situation. Vash was pale from blood loss, cold and shaking, terrified. Wolfwood pushed aside his own panic, tried to sound soothing and not absolutely pissed off as he spoke. “What part of stay put did you not hear, huh?”

Okay, maybe that wasn’t his best attempt. Wolfwood let go with one hand and carefully smoothed down Vash’s hair. “I’ve got you. I’m here now.”

“Don’t let them put me in the tank,” Vash whimpered. “Please, don’t let them put me in the tank.”

Wolfwood didn’t know what that meant, and decided not to think about it too long. The answer was just going to piss him off, and he needed to be calm. “You’re not going into a tank,” he said. “Okay? They’re gonna stitch your arm up. That’s it. I’ll be close by the whole time, so they won’t try anything funny.”

“Do you promise?”

“I promise.” Wolfwood forced a reassuring smile as he let his hand rest on Vash’s forehead. He was so cold. The red of his sunburn stood out on his face like blood on pale sand. “You might have to go to sleep, but I’ll be here when you wake up.”

Vash didn’t ask him to promise this time. Wolfwood could see the trust in his eyes. He wanted to scream at the sight, and at the sick feeling that he might be the only person here Vash really could trust.

How could the world have failed him that badly? Where’s Meryl Stryfe when you need her?

He pushed those thoughts aside. He held Vash’s hand tightly as the doctors kept working, preparing Vash for surgery. Wolfwood started humming—not his song, or Vash’s, but one he only heard rarely: the song that Miss Melanie would sing to them in secret whenever they were sick.

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me…

There were a lot of things Miss Melanie did in secret. Prayers that didn’t line up with what the Eye’s radio shows taught. Ceremonies she let them skip, things she didn’t teach. The way she cried whenever another kid was taken away.

I once was lost, but now I am found…

None of them would dream of telling, though. Not on Miss Melanie. Not if it meant she might be sent away.

‘Twas blind but now I see.

Wolfwood wished she were here.

Vash didn’t resist when they put him under, but his grip on Wolfwood’s hand stayed tight. Wolfwood had to pry his fingers off so they could take him into surgery. Meanwhile, Wolfwood was shown to an observation room. Brad and Luida followed; he would’ve told them both to piss off, but he needed answers, and Luida was the one who had them. Before she could try to apologize, Wolfwood asked, “What happened?”

Luida hesitated, glanced Brad’s way, and started talking. She told them how she’d shown up in time to see Knives, covered in blood in a room of slaughtered scientists and dead Plants, talking to Vash. How he’d tried to get Vash to shoot Luida, then went to kill her himself when Vash wouldn’t. When Vash tried to stop him… “It was like a black hole opened up in his arm,” she said. Her voice had been even up until then, but it started trembling at the memory. “I don’t know how else to describe it. It started dragging in things, the dead bodies, and…the other Independent, Nai, cut off Vash’s arm to stop it. I went to help Vash, and when Nai tried to stop me, Vash…pointed the gun at him…” Her voice finally broke. “He threatened his own brother to protect me.”

That was Vash, all right. Brave to a fault. Protecting people who didn’t deserve it. And I was too busy being stupid to even try and protect him.

There wasn’t a single person in that room who hadn’t let him down.

Brad abruptly got up and left. Luida stayed behind, her arms wrapped tightly around herself. Wolfwood could see the grief in her eyes. “You were right,” she whispered. “I should’ve tried harder to get him out.”

Wolfwood couldn’t even rub that in her face. Not now. Not when the weight of his own sins was starting to weigh him down again.

Luida wept quietly. Wolfwood watched as the surgeons worked on Vash and didn’t say a word.

.

They put Vash in a private room when it was over. Wolfwood parked himself in a chair while Luida hovered at the foot of Vash’s bed. “What happened before…” She cleared her throat. “…that’s going to stay between the four of us. No one has to know.”

“…great.” Wolfwood didn’t have the energy for a more biting response. It wouldn’t make sense to waste more time fighting when Vash needed him, anyway. “Brad’s on board with that?”

“He will be. I know he will. I know what you think of us, but he knows he’s made a mistake. And we want to make that right.”

Could she do that, after everything that had happened? Could Wolfwood?

He didn’t know what to say, so he kept his mouth shut and his eyes fixed on Vash. He was breathing slowly and steadily, still under from the medications. That was probably for the best. He’d have a lot to face when he woke up.

Luida stayed until someone dragged her off for an examination. No one bothered Wolfwood. The doctor who’d stitched up his ankle stopped in to check up on Vash and said everything looked good. “I heard you stopped using your crutch,” he added. “Do you want me to take a look at your injuries?”

“It’s fine,” Wolfwood said. Actually, it hurt like a bitch, but he wasn’t going to complain. He deserved that pain, and he wasn’t going to leave Vash. Fortunately, the doctor didn’t fight him about it.

More time passed. Vash’s face slowly grew less peaceful. His grip on Wolfwood’s hand tightened. “’em?” he mumbled.

“Easy,” Wolfwood replied gently. He squeezed Vash’s hand back. “You’re okay.”

Vash’s eyes opened, foggy with sleep and a touch of panic. He turned his head and relaxed when their eyes met. “Hi,” he said.

“Hey, kid.” Wolfwood smiled, hoping he looked more reassuring than exhausted. “You can rest. You’re safe.”

Vash didn’t need much encouraging. He was back out again within seconds.

It went on like that for a while. Vash bobbed in and out of consciousness, usually confused when he woke up, but calming immediately when he saw Wolfwood was still there. Luida came back once, briefly, only to be dragged away again. Brad never showed.

Exhaustion slowly draped itself over Wolfwood’s shoulders. He tried to tell himself to stay awake for Vash’s sake, but the events of the day and the hunger and throbbing pain wore him down. He rested his head on the bed and deluded himself into thinking he’d just close his eyes.

Just for a second.

.

He hadn’t been held like this since he was a kid—cradled gently, ear resting against the steady pulse of a heartbeat, wrapped in something soft and warm. Hands gently stroked his hair as a chorus of voices hummed gently. He could feel one hand grasping his shirt, a forehead pressed against his back. Thank you, whispered the chorus. Thank you. Thank –

.

Nico?

.

Wolfwood opened his eyes.

Vash was awake, still pale, still haggard-looking, but alert. “Shit,” Wolfwood mumbled. He dragged himself upright, wincing at the aches in his back and shoulders. “’m sorry…how long have you been up?”

“Not long.” Vash watched as Wolfwood tried to stretch. “Is Luida okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. She was here, earlier, but they needed her for…something, I don’t know.” Wolfwood was pretty sure every joint in his body popped as he tried to loosen them up. “But she’s okay.”

Vash nodded. “That’s good.” Then after some hesitation, he added, “Am…am I in trouble?”

The urge to hit something came back. Wolfwood shoved it down. “No. You’re not in trouble.”

Vash nodded again. His intact hand clenched into a tight fist. “I…”

Wolfwood could see tears forming in Vash’s eyes, so he did the only thing he could: sat on the bed and gathered Vash up in his arms. “It’s okay,” he said. Vash clung to him desperately, body trembling. “Let it out. I’ve got you.”

Vash’s first sob was heartbreaking, but Wolfwood was almost glad to hear it. It was worse when the kids cried in silence, afraid they would be punished for making noise. It was a habit he hadn’t been able to shake himself, one he was sure that Vash would develop eventually.

But here and now, Vash sobbed openly into Wolfwood’s shirt, free to show his grief and pain.

Wolfwood held him closer, and hoped that was enough to help him bear it.

.

Not much happened the rest of the day, though Wolfwood wasn’t surprised. The poor kid was worn out, and emotionally fragile to boot. Vash cried on and off all day when he noticed his arm was gone again, or if it was quiet for too long, or when the random check-ups by the doctors went on too long. If he wasn’t crying, he was either curled up next to Wolfwood, staring at the wall, or sleeping. He was asleep the first time Luida stopped by. The second time, Wolfwood thought he’d been awake until he glanced down and saw Vash’s eyes were closed. His breathing was slow, but a little too even. It was a pretty classic fake sleep, but not something Wolfwood was going to point out.

Fair enough. I wouldn’t want to talk to any of them, either.

“Just something simple, I think. If he doesn’t eat, I’ll finish it.” Wolfwood hadn’t even noticed his own hunger until Luida asked him about it. Stress was a hell of a thing sometimes. “But I’ll try to get him to eat.”

Luida nodded. She looked at Vash as if she were considering saying something, but slipped out as silently as she came in. Wolfwood waited until he was sure she was gone before leaning over. “Do you think you’ll be able to eat?” Vash hesitated, then shrugged without opening his eyes. “Do you think you can try?”

“…yeah,” Vash whispered.

“Atta boy.” Wolfwood rubbed Vash’s shoulder. “If you don’t want to talk to her, I can just say that for you.”

“I don’t know.” Vash finally opened his eyes. They looked so distant and lost. “Are you sure she’s not mad?”

“I’m positive. Trust me, I’d be able to tell.” It would’ve been easier if she were; Wolfwood would’ve told her to piss off a long time ago. “But you don’t have to talk to her and you don’t have to hear her out about anything. Not if you’re not up for it.”

Vash hummed quietly. Not exactly an answer. I’ll keep an eye on things, then. Step in if he had to. She’d better behave herself.

Vash didn’t sit up when Luida came back, but he didn’t fake being asleep again, either. “Hey, Vash,” Luida said softly. “How are you feeling?”

Wolfwood braced himself for Vash to be placating. He was surprised when Vash…didn’t do that. He glanced Luida’s way, looking like he was about to say something, but his eyes suddenly darted away. His face was hard to read, but Wolfwood could’ve sworn he looked scared.

Walking on eggshells. Every answer is wrong so it’s easier to just not say anything. But not saying anything had its own risks. Luida might not have taken the silence as disrespect and reacted with anger, but it was probably for the best Vash wasn’t looking at her. The devastated look in her eyes probably would’ve made him fold. She had the decency to keep it out of her voice as she kept speaking. “I just brought dinner for you and Nicholas. Got to keep your strength up.” She set the tray down carefully. “You’re…not in any trouble, okay? Not with me or Brad or anyone. I promise.”

Vash hummed quietly. His hand gripped Wolfwood’s sleeve tightly. Wolfwood glanced at Luida and shook his head slightly. Quit while you’re ahead. She must’ve gotten the memo, because she didn’t try to get any closer. “You get some rest, all right? Nicholas will look after you, and…I’ll stop by again later. If you want me to.”

“…okay,” Vash whispered.

Luida nodded. “Thank you, Vash. For protecting me. And I’m so sorry for everything.”

She left after that, thank God. Wolfwood could feel Vash shrinking into himself at that apology. Distract him. Quick. “Okay, what are we dealing with…” He pulled the tray over. Some kind of savory porridge, it looked like. Wolfwood took the first bite, letting it sit in his mouth for a second before swallowing, checking for any weird grittiness or bitterness, tingling in his mouth, sudden fuzzy vision. The Eye had sneaked sedatives into his food more than once. He was familiar with how they worked by now.

Nothing bad happened. It was just porridge. Wolfwood was suddenly, ravenously aware of how hungry he was, but he still gave Vash’s shoulder a gentle shake. Littles first, always. “It’s good,” he said encouragingly. “Come on. Just start with one bite.”

Vash sat up. There were fresh tear tracks on his face, but he picked up the second spoon and had a bite. He waited for Wolfwood to take another bite before he took his next one. They ate their way through the bowl that way, back and forth, fresh tears still slipping down Vash’s face. Wolfwood didn’t ask about them; he just passed Vash one of the bottles of water.

You’ll cry a whole ocean if you keep that up. Just like Alice. He’d told Livio that once. It was all he could think about for a moment.

“Do you miss your family?” Vash asked suddenly.

Of all the things he could ask. “I do,” Wolfwood said. “All the time.”

“So, it…it doesn’t stop?”

Vash whispered the question, just like he had in the dream. Too afraid to say it any louder, because it was insane and he must’ve known it. How could you miss the person who’d cut your arm off? Who’d killed hundreds and let you share the blame for it?

Because he’s Vash’s brother. No, he’s Vash’s twin. Wolfwood realized that he would never truly know that kind of pain. How could you bear losing someone you’d been with since your first breath? Someone whose face you’d see every time you looked in the mirror?

How can I help him bear it?

Vash suddenly doubled over, his spoon clattering against the tray. Wolfwood thought it was another bout of tears until he saw Vash clutch his arm stump. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

“Hurts…”

“Where?” Wolfwood got up, nearly knocking the tray off the bed as he did. “Should I get a doctor?”

“No! No, don’t leave me, please.”

“Okay, okay.” Wolfwood sat back down. “Big deep breath. Where does it hurt?”

Vash’s eyes were wide, scared. “My…my hand….”

“You mean the…” Wolfwood looked at the stump. “Oh.”

Phantom limb pain. Something the doctor said might happen. It would get better, apparently, but…

Nothing to be done about it now. All he could do was stay close.

“Big deep breath,” Wolfwood repeated. “Big and slow. It’ll stop. I promise it’ll stop.” He rubbed Vash’s shoulder. “It’s not fair. It sucks that you’ve gotta. But it’s just pain. You’re stronger than it is.” He leaned forward until his forehead was resting against the top of Vash’s head. Not quite a hug, but close. “Even if you don’t feel like you are right now.”

Vash’s breathing was shaking, but he was able to keep it under control. “C-can you tell me another story?” he asked.

“Yeah. Of course.” Wolfwood closed his eyes and tried to think of one that might help. “Once upon a time…”

He remembered another set of shivering shoulders, another head resting on his shoulder, the sharp tang of smoking straight from the worm’s tail.

“…there was a little boy and his shadow.”

They were stories he and Livio had made up together based off Livio’s imaginary friend. Wolfwood hadn’t thought about those stories in years—hadn’t been able to let himself think about them—but they flowed easily off his tongue now. The dangers the boy and the shadow faced, the way they would sometimes swap places so the shadow could help the boy get out of tough spots. It all came back to him so easily.

You don’t gotta worry about anything as long as I’m with you. And I promise I’m not going anywhere.

The pain must have stopped, or at least become bearable, because Vash eventually stopped holding his arm so tightly. He leaned against Wolfwood’s chest, his eyes drifting shut.

He felt as small and fragile as he had when he was little, and Wolfwood held him just as tightly.

.

The space around him was pure red, and he couldn’t move. He wasn’t strapped down; he was frozen in place, as if Bluesummers had him pinned to the air. His eyes desperately scanned the space, but all he saw was red, red and…

No.

Pale hair, wide blank eyes, a hole punched right through –

Except no, Livio didn’t have a mole, so it had to be -

No, no, the mole was on the wrong side. Was that Knives?

Thunk.

Fists pounded against a glass surface. Vash was on the other side, trying to break through, screaming, scared. Hands reached out from the dark to drag him away. Panic and anger surged through Wolfwood. He strained against his invisible bonds, trying to move, pushing and pushing until –

.

Wolfwood sat up so suddenly that he damn near fell out of his chair. He heard hysterical sobbing and frantic beeping. Vas was awake and pulling at the tubes attached to his arm with his teeth. “Whoa, whoa!” Wolfwood pushed Vash’s arm out of reach. “Take it easy!”

“I wanna go!” Vash sobbed. “I wanna go, I want - !”

“Okay, okay, we’re going. Just let me.” Vash had already left teeth marks in his arm trying to get loose. He’d definitely hurt himself worse if he kept it up. “Hold still.”

Wolfwood had pulled the main IV free and was working on the other monitors when the doctors showed up. “What are you doing?!” one yelped.

“We’re going back to his room.” The beeping turned into a droning whine as Wolfwood pulled the last sensor off Vash’s chest. “He’s done.”

“You can’t just – “

“Can and am!” Wolfwood scooped up Vash and turned to face the crowd blocking the door. “Move.”

“Sir…”

“Are you blind or are you not seeing how scared he is right now?!”

The room went silent. Vash’s whimpers were muffled by Wolfwood’s shirt, but still audible. Wolfwood forced himself to take a breath. He couldn’t afford to end up in jail again. “I will get someone if I think he’s gonna drop dead, but he can’t stay here,” Wolfwood said. “So I’m asking nicely, for his sake…move. Please.”

Another pause. The doctors stared at each other. One pushed his way to the front of the pack—the same one who’d stitched up Wolfwood. He pulled something off his belt and handed it out to Wolfwood. “You can use this to call someone,” he said. “It will get help faster.”

Well, points to him. This was probably the first time Wolfwood felt even remotely like he could trust a guy in a white coat. “Thanks,” he said.

Everyone got out of his way once he took the device, letting him carry Vash out into the hallway. “You’re gonna have to give me directions,” Wolfwood said quietly. “I swear I can’t find my own head in this…”

Brad and Luida were out in the hallway.

Judging from the blankets draped over a few chairs, they’d been out there all night. They both stared at Vash, Luida visibly relieved he wasn’t dead, Brad unreadable. Luida started to step forward, but stopped herself and shrank back. Like she was afraid she’d make things worse if she got too close.

Wolfwood looked away from both of them and back to Vash. “C’mon,” he said. “Let’s get out of here.”

No one tried to stop him on his way out.

.

Wolfwood didn’t sleep at all that night.

Vash did, thank God. Once he was tucked into his own bed, he bundled up under the blankets and went right back under. But Wolfwood stayed awake, watching the door. The room was a lot tidier than he’d expected after their rushed packing session. Maybe Luida had tried to clean up for him.

Better not have messed with his stuff.

Sometimes he got up to pace, limping his way through the restless energy. At one point he sat down and started fiddling with the bandages around his ankle. If only that stupid worm hadn’t made him drop his stupid vial, he wouldn’t have to deal with this. He was holding up for now, but carrying Vash had only made the pain come back. The scarring wasn’t going to be pretty.

And you think that compares to what he’s feeling right now? To what he felt in July?

It didn’t.

It would never come close.

.

The familiar sound of rustling blankets and a don’t want to wake up whine signaled the start of a new day. “Mornin’, Blondie,” Wolfwood said. Vash’s response was to tunnel himself deeper into his blankets. “You don’t have to get up or anything. Just let me know you’re not dead.”

After a pause, Vash’s hand went from grasping the blankets to giving a thumb’s up. Wolfwood snorted. “I’ll take that.”

Vash’s hand dropped to the mattress. His eyes peered out not too long after. “Do I have to go back?” he asked.

“Only if things get worse. Can I take a look?” Wolfwood was a little surprised that Vash sat up so readily. He was expecting a lot more resistance, seeing how terrified he’d been in the hospital. Wolfwood carefully removed the bandages from the injury. He was actually a little taken aback by how good it looked. There was no way it was going to look flawless, but whoever had stitched Vash back up knew their shit. More importantly, it didn’t look infected to him, and that was what counted. “Does it feel warm? Hurt more than it did?”

“Hurts the same. Not warm.” Vash glanced down at the stump, then looked away. “Sorry I woke you up.”

“Don’t apologize to me for being scared. I’d be, too.” And at this point, Wolfwood wasn’t even sure it was for different reasons. He was cut off from the question he wanted to ask by someone knocking at the door.

Damn it. Wolfwood instinctively rested a hand on Vash’s shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “I’ve got it,” he said.

He was fully prepared to tell someone off when he opened the door. He was greeted instead by a tray of food and some medical supplies left in front of the door. Luida was standing a safe distance down the hallway with the only non-shitty doctor at her side. Wolfwood shot them a thumb’s up before retrieving the items and retreating back into Vash’s room. “Nothing to worry about,” he said. “You hungry?” Vash shrugged. “Can you try?”

“…okay.”

It was a good thing he was willing. The included instructions mentioned that some of the included medicine had to be taken with food. None of them looked any different than the meds that had been given to Vash already, so Wolfwood let him take them. He worked on re-bandaging Vash’s arm as the kid ate, slowly and carefully.

Vash’s plant markings shone faintly around the wound, creeping up a few inches into his arm. Wolfwood thought about Vash’s inhumanity, about the way he’d cried harder when the doctors examined him and freaked out the night before, about the dream…

“I know you probably don’t want to hear this,” Wolfwood said, “but I need to know…did they do anything to you before I got there back then?”

Vash shook his head immediately. “No. They left me alone.”

“What about after I left?”

“No. Just regular doctor visits.”

“Regular like…regular for a human? You just seem really freaked by a lot of this, and if anyone’s hurting you…”

“No, no. I just…”

Vash hesitated. Wolfwood waited until he was done bandaging the arm before he prompted Vash gently: “Just what?”

Vash pushed his food aside and pulled his knees up to his chest. Seeing his stump try to wrap around them was heartbreaking. “It’s a long story, but…you should hear it. Since you’re standing up for me.”

Wolfwood’s heart skipped a beat. He wasn’t sure what he was about to learn, but something told him that a lot of questions were about to be answered. “I’ve got time.”

Vash took a deep breath before turning around to point at the picture in the middle of his photos. “That’s Rem,” he said softly. “She found Nai and I when we were born. She’s the one who raised us. Nai started thinking that she was keeping something from us. He said she was secretive about some files and that he overheard her talking to the captain about how we weren’t going to be treated like ‘her’. She wouldn’t tell him what that meant, so he asked me to help look at her work station. I was the one who put in her access code. I remembered it from when she’d showed me something else. There were files about us, and…another Independent.” Vash shrank down, hugging himself more tightly as he did. “Her name was Tesla. She was born fifty years before us. They…did things to her. Experiments, and…” His body trembled. “They still had her on the ship. All cut up in tubes…” He buried his face in his knees. “H-her file said she was alive, but I could see her insides…”

Wolfwood knew that image. It was from that fucking mural on the wall in the Eye’s training compound. The angel with her body all divided up in three columns of light. He remembered staring at the one separated eye hovering over her head so he wouldn’t have to look at Chapel during one of his lectures.

Humans had butchered Knives’ sister, and he’d made her a religious symbol for it.

“Shit.” Wolfwood ran his hand over his face. He thought about every kid the Eye had ever taken. Thought about himself, about all the needles and tubes and pain. Wondered how many more human lives it would take to pay for Tesla’s. “Vash, I’m…I’m so sorry.”

Vash was quiet for a moment. His voice still shook when she spoke. “Nai wasn’t the same after that. He was just…gone, for a week, didn’t speak or react to anything. When he woke up, he acted like everything was fine around the adults, but I saw…he was so angry. He was so mad at humans. I knew he was mad, I knew he was scared, but I didn’t know he’d…”

Another long pause. Vash’s words were replaced by quiet sniffling. Wolfwood rested a hand on Vash’s shoulder. Eventually, the crying sounds grew quiet. When Vash spoke again, his voice was flat and dull: “Nai got into the flight controls because I showed him Rem’s access code. He’s the reason the ships crashed. He killed all those people and…he was only able to do it because of me.”

That was a lot to take in. Wolfwood took a second to chew on it. His mind worried it all down to one point. “So…let me get this this straight. You showed him that access code—no, you used it in the room with him, and you had no idea that he’d use it to do anything but snoop a little. You didn’t know what you’d find and you didn’t know how your brother would react.” Vash hesitated, then nodded. “Kid, I’m not seeing anything wrong with what you did.”

Vash’s head shot up. His eyes were wide and confused. “But the ships…”

“Yeah, I heard that part, but you know what that was? That was Nai’s stupid, shitty decision. That’s got nothing to do with you.”

“But if I hadn’t…”

“No.”

“If I’d told someone…”

“Vash.”

“I could’ve stopped him if I…”

“My uncle used to hit me.”

Vash went dead silent. Wolfwood almost regretted saying it, but it was the only way he could think of to make Vash understand. “After my parents died, he was the only living family I had, so I got handed off to him. He was a mean drunk and he hated my guts and he hit me. He always had a reason for it, too. I was too loud, I broke something, I ate too much…and I tried. I was quiet. I didn’t touch anything. I only ate what he gave me. But it wasn’t enough. He always found some new reason to hurt me.” Wolfwood flexed his jaw, trying to chase off a sudden stab of pain from how tightly his teeth were clenched. “And the older I got, the more I realized…I wasn’t doing anything wrong. He wanted to hurt me. That was his problem, not mine. Even if I was being a little shit, nothing I’d done deserved that.” Wolfwood made sure he was looking Vash in the eyes. “You are not responsible for other people’s shitty decisions. Hear me? You aren’t responsible for Nai and you don’t deserve all the bullshit these people have put you through. You haven’t done a damn thing wrong, and you don’t deserve to get hit any more than I did.”

Vash’s eyes were flooded with tears. Instinct kicked in, and Wolfwood wrapped him up tightly in a hug. “And I’ll tell you something else,” he said, “I am not gonna let what happened to Tesla happen to you. Hear me?”

He knew the second it left his mouth that it was a lie, that in a few decades he’d be the one leading Vash to the slaughter. That Knives would make a second dismembered angel of his brother in the name of his goals.

But maybe he could stop that somehow. Change the outcome.

Maybe that was his penance.

“So, we could still be sand pirates if we wanted to?” Vash mumbled.

Despite himself, Wolfwood smiled. “Yeah. We can still be sand pirates if you want.”

Vash clung tightly to Wolfwood for a while, unspeaking. Wolfwood wasn’t sure if his words had any effect at all. He hoped they did. Hoped they could prevent even a single one of those scars in the future.

Hoped they were more than just words.

.

For most of that day, their only visitor was the doctor. Vash ate lunch. They spent most of their down time looking at the small collection of books in the room. Vash was a little less shaken up than he had been after his last crying session, but still quiet. He had another burst of phantom pain. Wolfwood had to help him breathe through it again.

It won’t last forever. He wasn’t sure that was true. He hoped it was, though.

They were reading through a book of old Earth folklore when someone knocked on the door. A glance at the clock confirmed it was about time for dinner. “Will you be okay to let the doc look at you if he wants?” Wolfwood asked as he stood up.

“Yeah, I’ll be okay,” Vash said. “It’s not so bad when I’m in here.”

“All right. If he does overstep though…”

Brad was standing on the other side of the door.

Wolfwood froze. His body mind went in a dozen different directions. Slam the door. Deck the guy again. Grab Vash and run. Brad stared past Wolfwood’s ear with a tense jaw and shoulders. “Can I talk to him?” he asked.

Wolfwood took a deep breath and glanced over his shoulder. He could’ve told Brad to piss off, but Vash might get upset, and it might mean more if it came from the kid. “Brad wants to talk,” he said.

Vash immediately looked wary. His expression wasn’t a yes, but it wasn’t a no, either. Wolfwood turned back to Brad. “Hang on.” He shut the door before Brad could protest and walked back to Vash. “If you don’t want him here, I can make him leave right now,” he said.

“I…” Vash shrank up again. “I don’t know. I…I do want to know what he wants, but…” His eyes darted back and forth as he thought before fixing on Wolfwood again. “Will you stay? Just in case?”

“Yeah, of course. Say the word and he’s gone. You don’t have to hear him out.” He probably would anyway, much as that pissed Wolfwood off, but at least he’d made the offer.

“Okay.” Vash nodded. “I’m ready.”

It went against all of Wolfwood’s instincts, but he turned around and opened the door. Brad was still there, still tense. “No bullshit,” Wolfwood said as he stepped aside. “And I’m staying here. Got it?”

“Fine.” Brad stepped in. He kept a safe enough distance from Vash, which was about the only thing keeping Wolfwood keeping his distance. Vash stayed balled up, but made eye contact with Brad.

“…hi,” Vash said quietly.

“Hi.” Brad took a deep breath. “I’m not here to make excuses. I was wrong. One hundred percent. I should’ve heard you out before I jumped to conclusions and I should have trusted you. I don’t know what happened back then, but…whatever it was, you shouldn’t have felt like you had to fix it on your own. And I shouldn’t have treated you the way I did back during the Fall. You were just a kid. You didn’t deserve that. I’m sorry for everything.”

It was all the right words in the right order, but Wolfwood was still skeptical. Until…

“Don’t say you forgive me. You don’t owe me that. I haven’t done anything to earn it. Be pissed at me for as long as you need. Hell, you can walk out right now if that’s what you need. I won’t blame you. But if you stay, I promise I’ll do better. I don’t know if I can make it right, but…I’ll do what I can.”

…huh. He’d never heard that before.

Vash looked taken aback, too. For a second, Wolfwood thought he was going to jump right into forgiveness. Instead…

“I’m not mad,” Vash said quietly. “I’m…”

He paused. Wolfwood knew that look. It was the look of having too many emotions at once and not being able to put a label on them. The same thing he’d felt in the Geoplant. “I think I’m mostly sad,” Vash said.

Brad nodded. “That’s okay, too.” For once, his eyes weren’t so damned unreadable. He looked ashamed. Sad. “They’re gonna bring you dinner soon. I’ll…leave you alone to think, okay?” Vash nodded. “You rest up.”

Brad hovered by the door. Wolfwood stepped closer, fully intending to escort him out, when Brad leaned closer to him. “Just look after him, okay? If he decides…” Brad shook his head. “…look after him.”

Then he was goner, leaving Wolfwood with a sinking feeling in his gut.

You have no idea who you just asked that of.

But what if he really was somehow the better option? Or if that was what Vash wanted? Wolfwood turned around hesitantly. Vash was still curled up, staring off at nothing with a slight frown on his face. “…how are you feeling?” Wolfwood asked.

“…I don’t know.”

That was the last thing Vash said about it for a while. He stayed subdued through dinner and his last exam of the day. Eventually, it was just the two of them and the fading on-ship lights. “Think any harder and you’ll have steam coming out your ears,” Wolfwood said.

The comment got a small smile out of Vash. He got up carefully and walked to one of his wall shelves. He grabbed an unlabeled book with a pen attached to the cover. “What’s that for?” Wolfwood asked.

“I need to write everything down.” Vash sat back down on the bed, cross-legged. He fumbled a bit at first, but soon figured out how to get himself situated. “Just…thinking about a lot of things.”

Wolfwood was tempted to ask more questions, but that sounded like diary stuff. Messing with another kid’s diary was a one-way ticket to either a scolding or a beatdown back in Hopeland, so he kept his questions to himself and settled down in his chair instead, injured foot propped up on the bed. Vash was still a little pale, but he didn’t look quite as fragile. His gaze was laser-focused instead. From the way his pen was scratching, he’d had a lot on his mind.

Hopefully, he was actually thinking about what Brad had said instead of rushing to forgive him. That’d sure be a change of pace.

The sound of pen on paper was strangely soothing. He hadn’t even done anything all day, but Wolfwood was suddenly exhausted. I should make sure Vash gets some sleep first, he thought. Don’t want him being up too late.

He closed his eyes anyway.

.

A chorus of ringing surrounded him. Not like bells…more like the sound glasses of water made when you filled them up with different amounts of water and tapped them. Miss Melanie had shown him that trick. Just the once. Didn’t want to waste water.

There was light. Not the harsh light of the sun, but something else. It shone down through a haze, rays piercing a sandstorm, getting brighter and –

 “You really don’t play?”

Nico blinked. What had they been talking about? Oh, right. “You think we’ve got money for something like this?” He was a little afraid to touch the piano, honestly. It looked nice. “We’re not that fancy.”

Vash sat next to him, already playing strings of notes one after another in sequence. “I can show you,” he said. “It’s not hard. You just need to practice.”

“Not hard for you.”

“Not hard for anyone. I’m not that special.”

The markings on his eyes said otherwise, but Nico could understand why he wanted to think that.

“I’ll give it a shot,” he relented. He rested his hands on the keys, pushing through the self-conscious feeling that he’d leave fingerprints. “Just don’t make fun of me when I suck at it.”

Vash pouted. “You’re not gonna suck at it,” he said, gently nudging Nico in the ribs. “And I’d never make fun of you for trying.”

His eyes were so earnest, Wolfwood had to look away. He took a deep breath. “Okay. How do I do this?”

Vash was a patient teacher. He showed Nico what each of the keys meant, how to play a chord. He guided Nico through a simple tune, something that only used one hand. Nico felt a little silly at first, but the more they played, the more comfortable he felt. It sounded like the tune Vash would always hum to himself, but more complete, somehow.

This was always meant for two people, wasn’t it?

Vash leaned against him. For once, Wolfwood didn’t feel like he was doing something wrong.

Maybe I am helping.

.

He woke up to the sound of someone knocking on the door. Wolfwood was on his feet before he’d fully registered his surroundings. When he did, he noticed first how worried Vash looked. “Sorry,” Wolfwood said. He rubbed his eyes. “Twitchy.”

“It’s probably just breakfast,” Vash pointed out.

“Yeah, yeah.” Wolfwood still reached for his pocket knife as he answered the door. As Vash said, it was just breakfast, and another check-in from the doctor. It was a pretty standard one: bandage swap, check the wound was healing okay, see how Vash was feeling, ask to look at Wolfwood’s injuries and immediately get rejected (he’d replaced the bandage himself already, and he still felt too jumpy to have strange hands on him). Just as the doctor started to leave, Vash spoke up. “Could you let Brad and Luida know I want to talk to them? Just…whenever they have time?”

Oh, hell.

Wolfwood waited until they were alone before he started his interrogation: “Talk about what?”

“What happened.” Vash kept his eyes on his food. “All of it. I want them to know my side of things. And Nai’s.”

“…can I ask why?”

“I want to see how they react. Nai thinks that all humans are just…selfish and awful. That they can’t change. But if they understand, if they see how awful it all was, maybe…” Vash shrugged. “I just want to know.”

Wolfwood wasn’t sure how to feel about that one. Yeah, it was a test, a chance to see if they meant those apologies. But did they deserve even that?

Do you?

Damn, his conscience was starting to get annoying.

“Do you want me to stay?” Wolfwood asked.

“No, I can talk to them alone.” Vash hesitated. “I mean…if you don’t mind waiting outside…”

Wolfwood examined the room. Unless they went through the windows—and there wasn’t really a lot to work with there—the door was the only way in and out. As long as he stayed near the door, they’d have to go past him if they wanted to snatch Vash. “I can do that,” he said.

Wolfwood had to keep reminding himself it was what Vash wanted. That he might not agree with it, but it wasn’t so risky that he could justify using his I’m older so I know better privileges to override it. He reminded himself that, technically, Brad and Luida hadn’t done anything to threaten Vash since Luida brought him back.

None of this stopped him from glaring at both adults as they walked in, from very pointedly saying that he’d be right outside, and from taking a beat too long to actually step out.

He stayed on his feet. He paced back and forth in front of his door. If he listened hard, he thought he could hear them talking, but it was too muffled for him to make out any words. Eventually, he finally had to sit down, get some weight off his ankle. His hand strayed down to his bruise, as it usually did.

Wolfwood hesitated after the first poke.

The pain had become familiar to him by now, familiar enough that the sudden change in intensity was noteworthy. He pulled up his pants leg. It definitely looked better than it had. It had gotten a bit smaller, yellow at the edges.

The logical answer was that he hadn’t had as much time to poke at it, that even without the chemicals his body healed a bit faster than others.

Buit then why didn’t his ankle sting as badly than it had yesterday when he’d swapped out the bandage?

His hands hovered over the bandages, torn between the desire for answers and the fear of what he’d find. The door slid open before he could decide. Brad and Luida stepped out. “…thank you for talking to us,” Luida said. Her tone was just a little too practiced, too gentle. “Just let us know what you decide, okay?”

“Yeah, I will.”

Brad wouldn’t look at Wolfwood as he speed-walked away; his cheeks were pink, his fists clenched. Luida was slower to walk away, but the second she was out of sight of the door, she pressed both hands against her mouth. Wolfwood saw a tear slip down her cheek. He scrambled to re-enter the room, suddenly nervous about how the conversation had gone.

Vash wasn’t in total shambles. Instead, he was sitting upright on his bed, hugging that bright red jacket to his chest. “How’d it go?” Wolfwood asked.

“They both apologized again. They thought what happened to Tesla was awful and they promised they wouldn’t let that happen. And they agreed with you that what happened…wasn’t my fault.” He said that as if he was still having a hard time believing it. “We talked about how I could leave if I wanted to. And Luida said I should keep the coat, no matter what I decide.”

Wolfwood hummed quietly. The coat honestly seemed like the least they could do, all things considered. “Where’s your head at?” he asked.

Vash stared out the window for a moment. “…can we go outside?” he asked.

They made their way back out to the catwalks outside. Vash took the coat with him, clinging to it for comfort. Wolfwood turned to his comfort item, lighting up another cigarette the second it was safe. They sat with their legs dangling over the edge of the catwalk and stared out over the sands. “Want to try?” Wolfwood said, offering the cigarette to Vash.

Vash leaned a little closer, then drew back with a wrinkled nose. “No, thanks.”

Probably for the best. Wolfwood looked back out of the barren wastes around them. Wondered how far they would have to walk to find civilization. If they could make it in the earliest, wildest days of No Man’s Land.

If they had a choice.

“We could leave,” he told Vash. “You don’t have to stay here if you don’t feel safe. I’d look after you.”

To Wolfwood’s surprise, Vash actually seemed to consider the offer. He looked at Wolfwood carefully. He scanned the landscape, as if wondering the same thing Wolfwood had. Slowly, he hugged the coat close to his chest. “I told Nai that I think people can be good,” he said. “That they can change. If I just run away without giving them a chance…” He met Wolfwood’s eyes. “…then I’m just a liar, aren’t I? I have to actually follow what I believe.”

Wolfwood sighed. “That’s noble and all, but people don’t always deserve your chances. You don’t have to stick around to see if they get better. Not if it risks you getting hurt.”

“Maybe, but…I want to this time. This place is my home now. I can’t give up on it.” He reached into the pockets of the coat and pulled something out. It was the sewing kit he hadn’t had the chance to give Wolfwood before. “Can you still shorten the sleeves for me?”

Wolfwood wanted to argue. Wanted to grab Vash and jump over the edge and start running. But Vash would never forgive him if he did.

And, somehow, deep down, he’d known that this was how it was meant to go.

So, he quietly got to work, first folding and sewing up the sleeve to accommodate Vash’s stump before moving to tack up the other sleeve. It was still too big, but Vash was starting to look like he belonged in it.

Wolfwood wasn’t sure how to feel about that, either. Getting angry about it felt like getting angry at a sandstorm. Fighting an inevitability. But still…

“Can I ask you something?” Vash said suddenly.

Oh, good, a distraction. “Shoot.”

“Are you an angel?”

Wolfwood nearly spat out his cigarette. “What gave you that idea?! The cussing, the dirty clothes, or the smoking?!” Vash’s face went bright pink and embarrassed. “Sorry, sorry, just…I am the furthest thing from an angel you can get.” Sometimes it felt like he’d stopped even being human a long time ago, that he’d been twisted into something more like a demon. But he didn’t want to burden Vash with all of that. “I’m just a guy. That’s all.”

Vash frowned slightly. “If that’s true, then…how did you get here?”

Hell.

Wolfwood focused on his stitches and tried to think. How could he explain? Would Vash even believe him? Should he tell Vash everything?

Will I be able to bear the look on his face if I do?

“…Luida told me about what happened, with the…black hole you opened up? I’ve seen something like that.” That was a decent enough place to start, he guessed. “I fell into one like it. It keeps spitting me out places and then reopening after a bit. And every time it’s brought me to you.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. I really don’t.” That wasn’t a lie, either. He didn’t have any idea why Vash had done this, why he’d chosen Wolfwood, if he’d even meant to choose Wolfwood, why he kept choosing Wolfwood regardless. “Just glad I could help while I’m here. If you can call it helping.” He finished the last stitch and cut off the thread. “You’ll just want to cut these as you get taller –“

Vash’s arms wrapped around him tightly. Wolfwood hugged him back with one arm and grabbed his cigarette with his free hand, just so he wasn’t blowing smoke in the kid’s face. “You have been helping,” Vash said. “And I’m really grateful.”

Don’t speak too soon. You might not feel that way in a few decades.

But how could he say that now without breaking Vash’s heart?

Wolfwood tightened his hold as best he could. “Least I could do,” he said quietly.

It would never even be remotely enough.

.

He saw Brad and Luida first. For once, his complicated feelings about them weren’t the first thing that came to mind.

“You go on ahead, okay? I’ll catch up.” Wolfwood took a deep breath. “Just need to have a word with them.”

Vash looked skeptical. “Nico…”

“I’ll be nice. I promise.” Nice probably wasn’t the right word for it, but he wasn’t going to hit anybody. He reckoned that was close enough. “I just want to talk.”

Vash still looked skeptical, but he kept walking. Wolfwood veered off to the duo. The matching looks of dread on their faces caught him off-guard until Luida spoke: “Did Vash decide…?”

Right, that. “He’s going to stay.” The dread fell of their faces immediately. Luida looked relieved; Brad shoved whatever he was feeling back behind his usual default expression. “I just wanted to be clear on what the plan is moving forward. “

“We’re going to make sure he gets a prosthetic. Right now, he needs to focus on physically healing, but…” Luida’s smile wilted. “I know…I know we’ll have a lot of other things to work on. We’ve got someone onboard Vash can talk to if he wants to give that a try – “

“Great. What are you going to do?”

Another pause. Luida was the first to break it with an awkward, slightly frantic giggle. “Everything I think to say sounds so…basic,” she admitted. “I want to be there for him, I want to help him, but that’s not a solution, is it?” She rubbed her eyes. “How do you do it?”

“Experience. What, are you both only children?” From the awkward look they shot each other, they were. Should’ve known. “Look, I get that we’re in a shitty situation right now, everyone’s got to pitch in, but he’s a kid. You need to let him be a kid and he needs to feel safe. The world’s not gonna be good to him once they figure out what he is. If you can’t make this a place that he can turn to when that happens…” Vash said this was his home, but Wolfwood wasn’t sure he believed that. Vash wouldn’t have so many scars if it really was. Wolfwood knew for damn sure most of his wouldn’t be there if he still had Hopeland. “…if you can’t be the people he trusts absolutely, then he’s not gonna have a chance. So maybe start there. Whatever it takes.” Now it was Wolfwood’s turn to hesitate. It felt almost wrong to say, like handing information to someone he wasn’t sure he could trust, but…

“He likes stories. Lullabies. I don’t know if you knew that, but…he still does.”

Maybe they would know what to do with it.

He shrugged. “Anyways, I’m gonna catch up with him. I just wanted to make sure we were all on the same page here.” He started to turn around, but faced them again. “He’s a good kid. A little too good. Don’t let that hurt him, either.”

He looked at Brad when he said it. Between the two of them, he seemed like the one who could actually get that done. Brad nodded in response. Hopefully he understood what that really meant.

Wolfwood’s thoughts were a swarm of worms by the time he reached Vash’s room. Stepping through the door and running directly into Vash jarred him out of it. “Wh-“

“There’s something in the bathroom,” Vash whispered.

…shit.

Wolfwood knew what he’d see when he opened the door. He knew. Every step he took forward felt like he was being pulled over, almost against his will. Don’t tell me you’re actually going to do this now. Don’t tell me.

He opened the door just a crack. There was a portal inside.

Wolfwood slammed the door shut.

Seriously?! Fucking seriously?! Now?! He wanted to scream, to bash his head against the door repeatedly. I begged you to get me away from you and you do it now?! He still needs me, you can’t do this…

“Is that…?” Vash was suddenly at his elbow, trying to pry open the door. He only got it an inch before Wolfwood closed it again. “Is that it?”

“Yeah.”

“…does that mean…?”

The jacket looked too big for him again.

“…do you want me to stay?” Wolfwood asked. “I don’t have to go. If it doesn’t go away, you can use another bathroom, or…something.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t have to go. You’re still…”

Hurt. You’re still stuck in this place with these people. You’re too young. I can’t let you do this. You don’t even know how to hold a gun.

“What do you want?” That was what mattered here. Not what the Vash of the future thought; what Vash thought now.

Vash stared at the door with a slight, confused frown. It hadn’t made a sound that Wolfwood could hear, but that didn’t mean Vash couldn’t hear something. Was he talking to himself? Could he tell? This was all too confusing, too far above Wolfwood’s pay grade. Vash wrapped his arm around himself, fingers gripping his folded-up sleeve. “Last time…both times…things were better by the time you left,” he said quietly. “And they were better after. So maybe…maybe it’s time.”

“Doesn’t have to be.”

“You have a home too, don’t you?”

“I – “

He did. He wasn’t sure what was going to happen to Hopeland in the future, but he did still have it. Was he abandoning it if he stayed?

Are you just trying to run away from your mistakes by staying?

“Nico.” Vash took a deep breath. “I’m gonna…I’m gonna be okay. You keep finding me. We’ll see each other again.” His eyes were so, so calm on the surface. “We will.”

Still a little afraid underneath.

Or maybe Wolfwood was just projecting. Because suddenly he was terrified for Vash.

Is he ready? Is it going to be okay? Have I done enough?

Will I ever be able to do enough?

Wolfwood swallowed hard. “What will you tell Brad and Luida?”

“That you had to go back where you came from. People come and go all the time. They’ll believe it.”

“They’ll probably be happy to get rid of me.” Wolfwood’s laugh was strangled and short-lived. “I didn’t know it would be so soon.”

“I know. It’s okay.”

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay?”

“Yeah. I think so.”

“Well.” Wolfwood took a deep breath. He wanted another cigarette, more than anything.

Wait.

He reached into his pocket for his lighter. “Here.” He held it out to Vash. “I want this back later, okay?”

Vash took it, stared at it for a second. Then, in a shockingly smooth motion, he managed to flip it. First try. “Hey, not bad,” Wolfwood said.

Vash’s smile was bright as the sun outside. Even as a few tears slipped down his face. “Thanks,” he whispered.

Wolfwood didn’t hesitate to pull him into an embrace this time. Vash gripped him tightly. So small and young, but…somehow still strong. Even after everything.

“See you later,” he said.

For the first time, that thought didn’t terrify him.

“See you,” Vash replied.

They broke apart eventually. Vash had stopped crying. Wolfwood felt like he might start. He slipped his sunglasses back on to hide it and re-opened the bathroom door. The portal was still there, silent but calling out to him all the same.

Time to go.

Time to see if he’d managed to do anything.

Wolfwood stepped through before he could think twice about it, leaving a prayer behind him.

Please, God, please…just let him be okay.

Just let it be enough.

[eomma-jpeg]

Fir the unusual asks!! BTS and perspective flip of your choosing for in the meadow!

you won't be up for a few more hours, but I finished this just barely and I've got a busy schedule today so here you go!

ty for sending this I seriously had sm fun

want to send in an unusal ask? here are the prompts !

BTS: I’ll write a DVD commentary about my personal favorite passage from in the meadow

The bench !!!

Okay, since I know you enjoy the bench scene in chapter 8, squid, I decided to go back and see what I remembered. I’m gonna do a kind of play by play to stick with the DVD commentary theme, starting at the final chunk when Milly recaps her daily routine (after the Roberto altercation).

So, because this hasn’t come much into play yet, but the line:

“Milly was relieved she wouldn’t have to shoulder all that work herself.”

Was super intentional. It is kind of a character choice I made for Milly in this story, but she takes on responsibility that isn’t hers, and we’ll see this later in the story.

This section and chapter in general is where I introduced that the boys heal really quickly, and I do wish to this day that I had included more plant stuff, but i’ve also decided its never too late to introduce the cosmic horror or just pretty wings into the story

Oh my gosh i forgot how much of a brat I made knives in the beginning. He’s so scared and angry and of course he’s gonna take it out on Milly, but he’s also going to hold back because of that fear…. What a silly little traumatized man.

I loved writing Milly as she just got so excited when Knives would do ANYTHING. He’s moving? Perfect. He’s speaking in full sentences? Perfect. He’s looking me in the eye? PERFECT.

 Another character building line!

“…but Milly was trained in the art of reading expressions–a byproduct of being the mediator in her large family.”

So much happens in just two weeks time GEEZ

I think I could have done better at explaining how Milly feels about Knives’ personal crises. She’s so observant and has known the whole time that he’s suffering, but she had to put that fixing aside in favor of him gaining his strength back.

I think Milly has some anxiety that she has learned how to process well over the years, but its kind of manifested in weird habits (specifically popping her knuckles)

I really like this line vvv

“Milly could have screamed in frustration, but the tension surrounding them was so thick it probably would have silenced her.”

I also still think this line is hilarious, because at this moment, Milly is NOT thinking about Vash at all. During their physical therapy sessions she hardly notices him, except when Knives is being a little brat or when Milly goes to leave

“The ability to work his own muscles was a relief to both Milly and Knives. And Vash, she guessed.”

Milly is always watching, always learning, and always observing others for information. She may not do anything with it, but I think her upbringing had her kind of mediating her siblings and her nieces and nephews. This just resulted in her being able to read anyone, and gave her the ability to watch without being noticed. That way, she can see that Mr. “I can’t hold a poker face to save my life” Knives for what he truly is.

I was laying in bed when I thought of this scene, and i just loved the idea of powerful strongwoman Milly Thompson absolutely overpowering Millions Knives simply because he let himself wither away in self loathing, and she is determined to fix that.

And i liked the idea of him flailing and cursing her out for being nice. 

So I did base the cilantro bit off of personal experience. My mom grew cilantro in her garden earlier this year and informed me that after they go to seed they just go crazy, and anytime I would go into the yard and the wind would blow, it smelt SO MUCH LIKE CILANTRO IT WAS CRAZY. Apologies to those who have the bad cilantro gene!

“What…” his voice was soft, reluctant, “What is that smell?”

Oooo! This is the first time Knives truly addresses her!

Oh my gosh I forgot about this… its not important but its kind of a nice world building thing I could keep referencing.

“Her father was the resident composter, taking their food scraps and monitoring their decomposing process in his–admittedly gorgeous–enclosed composting system.”

Hehehe apple tree apple tree

I kind of have a rotation in my brain for the apple tree. They have four harvests every year, and the apple tree is fruiting every other time.

Oh gosh I just made my heart skip reading their conversation, i’m so silly about my own fic.

Cheesy dumb silly line that i love so much

“Besides, sunshine is one of the best medicines”

So I think I mentioned this when squid drew me that lovely and perfect and beautiful drawing of Knives and Milly at the end of this chapter, but I had this moment planned from the beginning. In my mind, it was the first step in Knives being like “Hey, I just had a human provide SOME genuine emotional care for me since Rem, and it feels weird”. Its that turning point, or at least the beginning of something.

Perspective Flip: I’ll write a scene from in the meadow from another character’s point-of-view

Oh geez, uuhh Vash carrying Meryl to bed in chapter 19 but from Meryl's perspective 

Meryl went from uncomfortably half-asleep with her cheek pressed against her seat's headrest, to snuggling against what she considered to be the perfect pillow. She wasn't sure what it was made of or how it got below her head, but it was solid and warm, and she could hear a faint but steady heartbeat beneath. Meryl knew then that she'd never find anything better.

And then, she was moving. 

It was slow, careful movement, but she could feel it nonetheless. She didn't mind it, the gentle breeze was welcome and whatever was carrying her had her wrapped up securely in its grasp, strong arms supporting her back and underneath her knees. She leaned into the pillow, the starchy fabric rubbing against her cheek, and she hummed quietly. 

It was overwhelming, the powerful hold sleep had on her. It felt like sand from the dunes was rolling over her, blown in with a hot Eastern wind. Meryl wasn't forming any coherent thoughts to begin with, and the newfound bed she was in was providing her with all the right circumstances to insure it stayed that way.

Her careful ears swore they heard some strange creaks, but Meryl opted to focus on that heartbeat from earlier. It resonated with her own, the two patterns matching and keeping time together. Meryl couldn't help but smile. 

That final crest of sleep was ready to crash over her when one of the steady limbs beneath her shifted, knocking her out of that blissful state. Meryl whined at the change, then a gentle voice from above calmed her, luring her back into peaceful rest with a gentle brush of warm air. She immediately complied, her beloved pillow providing solace.

Finally, she had stopped moving. Her mystery mode of transportation had ended its journey and Meryl chose this as the perfect opportunity to finally surrender completely. Nuzzling into her cradle, Meryl didn't bother with smells or touch (except that this warm pseudo-bed smelled just like home), she just allowed all of her muscles to relax as sleep beckoned her fully. In return, her place of rest squeezed tighter around her, and Meryl felt her chest warm, desperate to keep it this way forever. 

It was starting to get annoying, but right as she nearly descended into unconsciousness, the warmth was disappearing, being pulled away from her. That beloved pillow no longer cradled her head.

No no no

Her sleep addled brain had enough cognizance to reach out, and Meryl grasped at whatever she could. Finding purchase in some stiff, wrinkled fabric, Meryl knew the feel: it was her pillow, and she held tight. Pulling with all her might, Meryl figured it would've been easy. She was small, but she was strong, and she wanted to go back. She wanted to return to whatever had been holding her so carefully, whatever had cradled her in its arms.

Then, it was warm again, the heat returning as something brushed her cheek and the edge of her ear.

"You need to go to sleep in a bed, Meryl," a voice whispered, a familiar voice.

A very familiar voice.

Why did she need to sleep in a bed when Vash was right here? He was perfect for her to curl up into, and he was more comforting than any actual bed she'd ever slept in. She tried again to pull into his chest, but it was a futile effort; she was weak against the powerful force of sleep and Vash's wishes for her.

Relenting her grasp, Meryl nearly felt like crying as the warmth of his body completely disappeared, separated by a quilt that might as well have been a brick wall between them. Meryl did, however, enjoy the plush feeling of a real pillow beneath her head. Her bed began to adjust to her weight, sinking and molding to her frame, but Meryl couldn't help but miss the way that Vash's arms were already the perfect size. 

Meryl tried to sleep, tried to welcome those waves to wash over and drag her into oblivion, but it wouldn't come.

Then, grateful she hadn't succumbed, a hand--his hand--ran through her hair. Relief flooded her at the barest touch, the return of his natural heat soothing her so completely. Meryl sighed, her heart rate calming.

Sometime poked her mind, something that had bothered her before she slept, but she couldn't remember what.

His hand pulled away, and Meryl wanted to scream, demand he put it back, but her body was unwilling. Instead, she focused all of her remaining mental energy on that thought, the one that she had forgotten. 

Oh.

Her voice was creaky, sleepy sounding as she attempted her question, "Hey, Vash?"

Silence followed, and Meryl feared that he had already left. Desperate to peek, her eyelids were so heavy, and anything she tried to see was just shades of darkness.

Finally, he answered, "Yeah, Meryl?"

She wanted to smile, show she was glad he was still nearby, "Did you miss me?"

Another pause.

"Yeah," he replied quietly, "I did."

Something akin to satisfaction filled Meryl as she finally let go of all connection to consciousness. 

"Knew it."

[shingansoul]

For the Little Sisters and Crybaby Boys (Trigun fic)

Summary:

Vashwood week day 7: Free day

So I have wanted to start trying to write more about my thoughts on Vash's relationship with the other plants for awhile and so I thought the perfect way to ease into it would be for the concept of "Family", something that has such specific connotations for sides of Vashwood. I hope you enjoy!

@vashwoodweek

To read on AO3, follow the link below. To read here, continue past the read more!

“So, ‘little sister’ eh?”

Vash startled hard, stopping dead from their walk through town as his metal capped boots dug into sand and almost pitched himself forward to fall. Wolfwood stopped a couple steps ahead, grinning cheekily back at his companion’s over dramatic reaction. While the blonde was still windmilling his arms to keep his balance Wolfwood lit a cigarette and brought it to his lips. He got a good long drag out of it before Vash finally caught himself and trotted up to him to close the distance once more. When He stood next to the priest again, wolfwood playfully blew the smoke in front of his face in lazily floating “O” ‘s instead of a steady stream. Vash blinked and with a pout he swatted them away with a gloved hand before walking onwards to continue their casual stroll.

“That’s a hell of a question to ask a guy on the way to breakfast, dont’cha think?” 

His voice trilled a bit with a bit of a forced chuckle for lack of knowing how to respond. Wolfwood canted his head in Vash’s direction, humming thoughtfully.

“Well, there’s not exactly a scheduled time and place to ask someone about talking to plants the way you’d talk to your sibling, not that i’ve ever heard at least.”

Vash made a sour ‘you got me there’ expression and sighed, crossing his arms for lack of idea of what to do with them. 

“Well… they are my siblings, sort of…not like Knives is, but..” He nervously glanced at Wolfwood, gauging his reaction before trying to move onwards. To Wolfwood’s credit, he didn't stop nor did he say anything in return. He did however let his eyebrows shoot up into his bangs and his eyes look over his sunglasses to meet Vash’s own greenish blue ones with a look of surprise. After a few moments he let his features relax but his attention was just as intent on the other to continue. Vash sighed, a mix of releasing nerves he still had and letting himself relax from the bracing he had done for any possible less favorable reaction the priest might have had.

“We were born much later than the others, the plants I mean. They were all…,” He paused, unsure what word was best before he settled on, “ made back on earth, before they sent out the people that would be the first one’s here on this planet. Not that they were supposed to come here specifically but…” He laughed awkwardly, unwilling to meet the others' eyes.

Wolfwood took the moment to let himself slide the step of distance between them over as they walked, pressing their shoulders together and occasionally their legs would gently glide against the other’s as they walked. Vash let his lips quirk a little at the action, glancing up at Wolfwood in silent appreciation. 

“Some were made specifically for that trip, while others had been around for many hundreds of years before I was ever born. So technically they’re closer to like…my aunts and cousins or even my grandma by a good few greats? But they can’t really take care of themselves like I can, they’re working so hard for everyone else here. So..since they always need cared for, I like to think of them as my little sisters who I can sometimes give relief or even guidance to. Th-that’s probably a bit unfair to say about them, and maybe it’s selfish to say they can’t-...well.” He stopped himself, shaking his head as if to physically shake off whatever thought line he had caught himself going down without realizing it.

“I can feel them, their pain, their emotions and desires, and I can share my own with them as much as I can take on theirs. And they’re the only ones like me and Knives, so… they’re family to me, even if the concept isn't really for things like us i suppose. If we can give to the humans, I think maybe it’d be okay to take on things from them too. Having a family has always felt nice to me.” 

He offered a smile to the man at his side, a bit small but it felt genuine so Wolfwood offered one of his own briefly. He let his gaze fall to flit about the town around them, a few scattered stores and stalls wafting scents of anything from soap and leather to metal and various foods both tempting and appalling alike. The blend was a bit overwhelming admittedly, but aside the scrunch of his nose in reflex he didn't mention it. It wasn't much longer until they arrived at where Vash had first excitedly been pulling him early that morning, a small stall smooshed into the space between two strips of buildings with various shops and the occasional home attached. The smell from it wasn’t as strong compared to the mix in the air around them, but noting the various treats and breads on display in the glass box atop the counter made him shoot Vash a fond look of faux exasperation.

‘Donuts, of course.’

The man in question was excitedly bouncing on his heels as they reached the end of the decently short line for the stall, impatience and enthusiasm radiating off him in waves. Wolfwood let his mind wander a bit as they waited, Vash’s mindless prattle about potential various options not lost on him but nothing new to need his focus or response. 

“Having a family has always felt nice to me.” 

Wolfwood certainly understood and shared the sentiment, his very mission being based around that very bond. Family, what was it but those you cared for and those who cared for you in return? Did it need to be anything more than that? Wolfwood couldn't guess at what exactly the plants in their bulbs could possibly do for Vash specifically, but they did give life to the numerous towns that Vash drifted between across their planet so maybe that was how they showed whatever love something like them could. Wolfwood had known since before meeting Vash that he was as inhuman as the thing full of hate and violence that the Eye of Micheal worshiped and killed for. However, over the years together Wolfwood had decided that Vash’s inhuman nature took on the form of benevolence no selfish human could ever match to oppose the unforgiving cruelty of his match. And it was in that compassion and love for the unloveable Wolfwood had nestled himself quite firmly, so he of all people could tell you that Vash loved his “sisters” and most if not all living things alongside them. So yeah, he could certainly see how they were just as much family as his own.

“Nicholas, you just have to try one of these!” 

Wolfwood snapped back to attention, the use of his first name usually reserved for important or emotional moments between them so he was worried at first. However, before he could even say anything, the blonde now in front of him (when did he side step him?) quick as a snake shot forward and shoved something into his mouth. He squawked a bit indignantly, taken off guard but after a moment he took in the flavor; it was warm though not piping hot and the dough seemed to almost melt in his mouth. It was coated in a light sweet icing and what seemed to be some kind of cinnamon flavored syrup. It might have been the most extravagant tasting thing he had ever eaten, and he reached up to greedily shove the rest of it in his mouth, not allowing Vash the chance to possibly snag the rest of it back. Vash laughed happily, turning back to the stall owner and ordered another couple of the gourmet(price and advertising be damned, he knew good quality shit when he tasted it) donuts. 

Without thinking, he licked his finger tips one at a time trying to make sure he didn't waste any of the syrup or glaze. He caught Vash’s owlish blink and head tilt in this action, neck growing hot out of mild embarrassment but the wide smile and warm laugh that Vash gave in return made it more than worth it. To get a look like that just for him, he’d do much more without regret than a little childish desert eating. Having by now finished paying and receiving the rest of their haul, Wolfwood let himself be led by the crook of his elbow across the street towards the main plaza where there were a few unoccupied benches. Vash all but dead dropped onto the first one they got close enough to, dragging Wolfwood down beside him earning him a light flick to the head as punishment but they were both grinning despite themselves. Once settled, Vash almost desperately rooted through the bag, grabbing another donut and passing it to Wolfwood’s waiting hands. He only then fished one out for himself and bit into it with an exaggerated moan that bordered tears of joy.

Wolfwood slung an arm over the back of the bench behind Vash, nibbling at his own treat much more slowly than the first one had been killed off. Vash was mostly distracted with his treat, but he leaned back so that his shoulder blades were against the priest’s arm to offer some kind of casual contact. Wolfwood waited until Vash had calmed down most of the theatrics and was simply eating before he decided to offer almost too-casually a bit of himself forward. After all, it was only fair.

“I guess mine are like little brothers and sisters too, by that logic.” He said it without looking at Vash, so he heard rather than saw the cocking of his head in interest as he hummed in interest while chewing on the current bite of pastry in his mouth.

“Nobody at the orphanage is actually related to anyone else, we usually got kids left on their own without a chance anywhere else, not whole broods or anything like that. And twins aren’t the most common, unlike with you, needle-noggin. But everyone is like a big family there, Miss Melanie always taking care of everyone and the older kids chipping in with the younger ones to lighten the load. It was hard work living there, but it was…it was really nice honestly. I don’t know if anyone that was there last I visited is still there, but the little ones would always look up at me with runny noses and wet eyes and I always ended up caving. They’d always…they’d always call me…” 

He had to pause, realizing that as he went on, he felt his throat burn a bit and there was a certain pressure light but certainly there in his nose. Had he really almost-? He felt a hand rest on his thigh, squeezing it gently and he looked over to see Vash offer him a small smile and understanding eyes and he leaned into his space a bit more.

“What did they call you, Nicholas?”

This time, it felt right hearing his first name spoken so gently and coaxingly from the blonde’s lips. He inched his foot outwards until his knee pressed up against the smooth metal of Vash’s kneepad. It was cool against his skin through his pants, grounding him a little as he swallowed back down the lump in his throat from earlier. Regaining his composure, he closed his eyes and leaned his head back to rest against the back of the bench they sat on.

“Nico-nii.”

“Would you…like to tell me more? About the kids at the orphanage all the way in December? About the time you were their Nico-nii? You don’t have to of course but…”

With the taste of sugar on his lips and the warmth of his only friend against him, he nodded slowly and began to recall. And he hoped on this bench in a nameless town to the south, he could instead think of December and the crowded but humble streets of its market district. Of kids playing games outside while he fed their thomas’ and helped Miss Melanie hang the laundry. Of him watching and carrying around babies and coaxing little crybaby boy’s that the orphanage was a nice place to live in a world like this. And he hoped that Vash could see it with him some day.