#so just...i get most of us have good intentions and invested in their health and safety but you gotta consider the people first
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The only thing I'd add to this is that I don't think cats are the largest invasive species in the world...that dubious prize goes to the humans.
I've been seeing a lot of Discourse around outdoor cats that talks past one of the biggest problems addressing community cats/outdoor working cats so I thought I'd chime in with my two cents.
Many arguments I see just... don't think about the cats at all? Or don't consider the logistics of actually addressing the feral cat problem in a humane way. It's always about how outdoor cats shouldn't be outdoors, which is neither realistic nor helpful.
I used to volunteer at an municipal animal shelter in the USA that had a TNR program (Trap, Neuter, Return) and also adopted out community cats to local farms and businesses. Here's my side of the story.
"Your cat doesn't need to be outside" -- Yes, correct. Your domesticated (non-feral) house cat does not need to go outside at all. They can have a fully actualized life safely indoors. When I see this argument, proponents of indoor only cats are correct in most or all their arguments regarding this.
"Outdoor cats are the largest invasive species in the world, and decimate bird populations." -- This is also correct, and part of the reason why you can help by bringing your house cat indoors. Cats are the largest invasive species. Spay and Neuter your cats, bring them inside, and socialize them so they don't become feral.
"TNR doesn't work." -- False. Whether we like it or not, feral cats exist. We have two methods by which we can address the feral cat population -- decimating them (humanely euthanizing the whole colony) or TNR. For a long time, euthanasia was the preferred way to address the feral cat problem. Afterall, if the cats aren't there, doesn't that save the local wildlife population?
Except that we found, studying these colonies, that when a colony is wiped out, the cats of another colony will spread into their territory and continue to have kittens and the population of feral cats is neither controlled nor diminished.
Hence, TNR. What we found performing TNR on cat colonies was that this controlled the population of the colonies, allowing them to stay in their territory, which kept other colonies from spreading (especially colonies we hadn't performed TNR on yet). We at the shelter felt this was the most humane way to control the feral cat population and safely deflate their existence without dealing with the population blooms that euthanasia caused.
"What about kittens?" -- Kittens from these colonies were brought into the shelter, socialized, and fostered out until they could be adopted. Some of these semi-feral kittens needed special homes to be adopted into, but this was the best quality of life for these cats.
"What about cats that get missed during TNR?" -- We would return to the colony several times over a period of several years to perform TNR on the same colony. We mark cats that have been neutered by clipping their ear (this is done humanely, but is the most reliable way to tell if a cat has been neutered so the poor thing doesn't have to have surgery 3-4 times in their life). Also, during the TNR process the cats would be vaccinated to ensure disease did not spread from the colony (i.e. rabies). Still, even getting 60% of the colony TNR'd would dramatically reduce the number of kittens being added to the colony each year. This controlled the population by allowing the territory to naturally deflate in size over time, buying us time to address the larger feral cat problem.
"What if the colony was in an unsafe location?" -- There were two ways we addressed unsafe colony locations -- remember, we know that when the colony is removed, a new colony will move into its place, so we tried not to move the colony unless we really felt the cats or the public was unsafe -- one was to move the whole colony to a new location. Preferably someplace like a warehouse where we have an agreement with the owners of the warehouse. Some of the cats were even relocated to shelter grounds as our community cats. If the colony was small enough we would bring them into our Feral Cats room and adopt them out as community cats.
"What is a community cat?" -- The way the program worked, was that anyone who needed a working cat could apply to the program. These were often rural farmers or businesses with warehouses that needed rodent protection. We trained the farmers and businesses on how to acclimatize the cats to their new home, and as part of the agreement, they had to care for the cats (veterinary care, vaccinations, food and water). This gave businesses and farms an alternative to expensive and environmentally unfriendly rodent control, and also gave these feral cats good places to live out their natural lives.
"Can't you just adopt out feral cats?" -- No. Cats that have not been socialized around humans as kittens, or who have several generations of feral cat in them could not interact with humans in a way that did not cause them undue stress. This was not a humane way to handle feral cats. However, when a cat was brought into the feral cat room, they would be monitored for up to a week. If the cat displayed signs of being semi-social or fully social (hanging out outside of their den, allowing staff to pet them, showing interest in staff in the room), then we would either move the cat into the adoption room or place them in foster to be socialized before adoption. Feral cats who displayed signs of being able to live full and healthy lives with human companions were NOT adopted out as community cats. We also observed this behavior during TNRs and would do the same for those cats too.
"But aren't cats bad hunters?" -- Compared to other species, cats are not the most effective form of rodent control. This is true. However, you have to understand that feral cats exist. There is no "undo" button we can push to stop them from existing. We have to deal with the problem we have right now, which is to safely and humanely decrease the number of feral cats in our communities. And yes, we do that by using cats as rodent control in the community.
"What can I do?" -- Stop saying community cats shouldn't exist. That's not helpful and doesn't solve the problem we have. Bring your cat indoors. Spay and neuter your cats. Adopt from shelters. Volunteer with a TNR team. Support TNR efforts in your community. Recognize that those of us actively dealing with the community/feral problem are trying to do what is in the best interest of our communities and the animals we love. We aren't sitting over here saying these cats should exist -- a feral cat will not have the same quality of life as one that is indoors with a family -- but we have to address the problem in practical terms. We don't have the moral high ground to just do nothing while pontificating solutions that have no basis in actuality.
And yes, it's okay to celebrate community cats. If your local farm has a couple of working cats, that means that farm is helping participate in the safe deflation of the feral cat population. Don't shame a farm or business for using community cats. We're all doing the best we can to solve the problem that we have.
#also babes...some people are from poor countries with no infrastructure to support people let alone animals#i'm from one of them#i always maintain that there's no excuse not to provide rabies shots and basic medicine if you're keeping a pet at all#but when i say poor i mean country-level poverty. even i'm lucky to be able to afford all the vaccines and meds#i had to raise money to afford the neutering#i'm utterly mad for my animals and do my best for them but even i can't keep them inside all the time#bc our tropical homes are designed for ventilation and open courtyards#building cat patios and mesh screens takes time‚ money and permission from landlords#i keep trying to tell y'all that poverty in the global south means lack of access and infrastructure at the base socioeconomic level#a lot of these standards for pet protection is very global north oriented and ideal conditions that are out of reach for most#that doesn't excuse people who could fulfill all of them and choose not to bc other people don't#but expecting everyone to explain and justify the living conditions of their pets esp from short videos is oppressive as hell#bc it supposes that global north people are the default and we're just exceptions#in countries like mine with huge uncontrolled cat and dog populations‚ any that have the care of humans at all are lucky#so just...i get most of us have good intentions and invested in their health and safety but you gotta consider the people first#and stop making sweeping statements like 'if you can't afford these standards of care you shouldn't have a pet'#a lot of poor and disabled people are doing their best with what they have#stop assuming that everyone has the same level of access and someone else responsible to entrust their animals to#give people the benefit of the doubt sometimes and mind your own business#the living conditions of animals rise when the living conditions of people do#anna sewell who wrote black beauty 150 years ago understood this and the connection between animal cruelty and human rights#speaking as someone who will and has nearly killed herself to care for animals:#animals are not more important than people#that is a fundamental truth#cattos#animal rights#pets#pet owners#environmentalism#ecology
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𝐒𝐄𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝟏𝐬𝐭: 𝙷𝙾𝚃 𝙶𝙸𝚁𝙻 𝙵𝙰𝙻𝙻 𖥻 ⠀ᰋ ~ !? 🥮𖦹 ׂ 𓈒 ⋆
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September 1st is the true launchpad for new beginnings. Whether it's the start of a new academic year or a renewed mindset for chasing excellence, September 1st kicks off what we're officially dubbing "Hot Girl Fall"
September doesn’t just mark the transition from summer to fall—it’s a complete reset. The end of vacation mode means a renewed focus on goals, routines, and all those dreams you’ve been nurturing.
1. set clear goals 🧋౨ৎ ˖ ࣪ Hot Girl Fall is all about growth, so start by setting goals that are important to you. Whether it’s academic, finishing a creative project, or learning a new skill, give yourself something to chase. Break your goals into smaller, achievable steps, and celebrate your progress along the way. (I will make a post abt reward ideas)
Tip: Create a vision board or digital collage for some visual inspiration to keep you motivated!
2. elevate your style this season 🥮౨ৎ ˖ ࣪ Fall fashion is the ultimate combination of cozy and chic. This is the season for layers, textures, and statement accessories. Invest in a few key pieces that you like. Consider leaning into trends that resonate with you— (I suggest looking up some styles on Pinterest) Recently, I have been loving the academic/preppy chic autumn outfits and the dark academia aesthetic.
Tip: Don't just follow trends; find pieces that express your personality. Mix in some timeless classics for a balanced look.
3. self-care 🍂౨ৎ ˖ ࣪ Being a "hot girl" isn't just about looking good—it’s about feeling good. As the days get shorter and cooler, make sure you're staying active and eating well. A little self-care goes a long way in keeping your mind and body balanced during this busy season. This is also a great time to focus on mental health, whether through meditation, journaling, or therapy.
Tip: Try creating a new fall wellness routine—maybe morning stretches or pilates, afternoon walks in nature, or weekly self-care nights with skincare and a good book.
4. organize your space to boost productivity 🚬౨ৎ ˖ ࣪ With September comes a new focus on work and personal goals. Take some time to declutter and organize your space, whether that’s your desk, closet, or digital files. A clear environment can lead to a clearer mind, allowing you to focus better and feel more at peace in your everyday life.
Tip: Implement simple systems like a daily planner, productivity apps, or dedicated time blocks to keep your tasks organized without overwhelming them.
5. embrace seasonal changes 🍁౨ৎ ˖ ࣪ Fall offers some of the most beautiful landscapes, so make sure to soak it in. Whether it’s a hike, a walk in the park, or just sitting with a cozy drink while watching the leaves fall, spending time outdoors can help you reset and ground yourself. Nature has a calming effect and can inspire new ideas, so use it as a creative escape when needed.
Tip: Get Outside & Enjoy Nature, you can even start a nature journal / sketchbook !
6. autumn mornings 🌟౨ৎ ˖ ࣪ Autumn mornings bring a cozy, refreshing vibe that can inspire a productive and peaceful start to your day. Establishing a consistent morning routine sets the tone for the day ahead and helps you feel more grounded as the season shifts. Start by taking a few deep breaths and thinking of one thing you’re excited about for the day—this positive intention will help you get moving.
Tip: Craft an Autumn morning routine that works for you !
6. homework and boost in productivity 🪶౨ৎ ˖ ࣪
Homework can feel overwhelming, especially when you’re balancing it with extracurriculars and social activities. Designate a spot for homework, whether it’s a desk, a library, or a quiet corner at home. Keep your workspace organized with all your supplies on hand—this minimizes interruptions and keeps you focused.
Start by listing all your assignments and prioritizing them based on deadlines and difficulty. Break large tasks into smaller, manageable chunks, and schedule specific time blocks for each task. Use a planner, to-do list, or digital app to stay on top of assignments. By having a plan in place, you avoid last-minute cramming and unnecessary stress.
Instead of scrolling on social media during breaks, do something that refreshes you mentally and physically. Stretch, take a short walk, grab a snack, or chat with a friend. Active breaks re-energize you without the risk of falling into procrastination traps.
7. caffeine for energy and focus🪶౨ৎ ˖ ࣪
Autumn calls for cozy beverages, and for many of us, that means indulging in caffeinated drinks like coffee, tea, or chai. Caffeine can be a helpful tool for boosting energy and focus—if used wisely.
Try not to rely on caffeine first thing in the morning; allow your body to wake up naturally. Have your coffee or tea about 1-2 hours after waking when your natural cortisol levels dip. This maximizes the effectiveness of the caffeine and prevents jitters or dependence.
8. reading more this fall🕯️౨ৎ ˖ ࣪
There’s no better time than fall to get lost in a good book. The cool weather and cozy atmosphere make it perfect for curling up with a blanket and diving into a novel, memoir, or educational read. Start by setting a realistic reading goal for the season—whether it’s reading one book a month, finishing a certain number of pages a day, or diving into a new genre.
Keep a book or e-reader with you at all times, whether you’re commuting, waiting in line, or relaxing during a break. Instead of reaching for your phone, get lost in a story. You’ll be surprised by how much extra reading you can squeeze into your day this way! (I love reading at libraries and on public transportation.)
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As the crisp autumn air settles in, let this season be your time to reset, refocus, and thrive. Whether it’s building a morning routine, staying on top of your homework, or creating a cozy atmosphere, remember that Hot Girl Fall is all about balance.🌟
#girlblogging#it girl#lucky girl syndrome#lucky girl#pink pilates princess#girljournal#girl blogging#vision board#dream girl#autumn aesthetic#autumn vibes#pink pinterest girl#pinterest girl#wonyoung motivation#wonyoung#wonyoungism
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okay someone asked but I can’t find the post, here’s my tips on shifting.
first of all, it’s all about belief, as long as you fully believe that you can do it then you can (this gets much easier when you’ve done it for the first time cause well, you know you can do it)
you don’t need a script or anything like that!! some people prefer it but it’s not a necessary thing! though for beginners I would recommend it because it just helps get ur thoughts in place!
always be safe when shifting!! make sure to have safe words in place!! but also know that it is not possible to get stuck in ur dr! safe words just make it easier.
use subliminals! but be careful with these, make sure to use ones you trust. some of them can have horrible messages or manifestations in them.
okay so I tend to use a method, you totally don’t have to tho. I just find it makes it easier for me.
I’ll share the method that I use because I’m not sure if I invented it or if it’s just uncommon. I thought of it anyway.
the tv show method
- get comfortable and calm. I recommend guided meditation to ground yourself!!
- put on your favourite tv show, and really concentrate on it for a while, make sure you’re fully invested in the plot and that it’s what’s taking up most of your mind.
if any other thoughts go through your head that’s fine!! just let them pass.
- when you feel ready, imagine that you’re watching the show in your dr
- visualise your dr, the things around you, the sounds. try to feel the feelings that you might be feeling. notice things.
- say affirmations if you would like to. or count to one hundred. Or just keep visualising.
- when you feel ready to shift, close your eyes
- concentrate on the sound of the tv show and say affirmations
- visualise and affirm until you feel that you’ve shifted
- open your eyes when you are certain you’re in your dr!!
good luck <3
- rafe shifter
ANON BABE THANK YOU SO MUCH. if i’m gonna be honest, all this talk of shifting is making me want to try again sooo badly. i’m so grateful that you guys are giving advice and stories as well bcuz it truly motivates me sm !! i might start creating a visual diary/moodboard for now and then when i get back from my spring break trip rlly try with the intent to shift. the tv method also sounds great so i might try that when i do intend to shift.
although i haven’t shifted yet, i’d love to give my take as well bcuz quite a few ppl have asked for advice, and i think it wld be nice just to have the perspective of someone who has been rlly into shifting, but hasn’t quite yet achieved it !!
try to do basic research initially just to get a proper framework of shifting and have enough knowledge to keep up with the main linguistic terms (e.g script, cr, dr, etc). i’m not sure what the best current resources available for that is, but i know amino used to be great for finding shifting communities, and i bet tumblr also has good resources. although don’t overload yourself, it’s good to get diff perspectives but remember shifting is largely a personal experience and so ultimately whatever you choose to do has to feel write for you. for example, as rafe shifter said not everyone has to have a script, although some do find it rlly helpful as a resource.
for new shifters, don’t be discouraged if it doesn’t happen immediately. i know a lot of ppl shift to get out of a bad situation/mental state, but i personally think a large part of the energy it takes to shift is mental, and so to achieve that you should try to take care of yourself and nurture your mental health as much as possible— the more you focus on caring for yourself and your mind, the stronger it’ll get and the easier it’ll be for you to shift <3.
now for my own experience, i personally used to use the pillow method and the raven method the most, although looking back i feel like they were limiting bcuz due to the sleepy sort of state i used to be in it wld make it difficult for me to truly visualise my dr. however, one method i’d highly recommend is the estelle method (i’ll explain it in a sec), it sounds kind of strange but honestly it was the closest i’d ever been to shifting and i truly never recovered r from that fraction of a second where i literally felt myself in my dr. i can still picture it to this day and its own of my biggest shifting motivators <3.
ok anyways, here is the estelle method explained:
Step 1: Get in position. You can lay stand/sit/lay you want as long as you're comfortable.
Step 2: Play a song. Preferably something you associate with your dr or something that lets you feel connected to it. While this song is playing you’re going to imagine slow dancing with someone from your desired reality. It can be anyone: your s/o (i recommend this one lol) best friend, enemy— anyone.
Step 3: Imagine. I recommend closing your eyes for this to truly be immersed. You don’t have to actually dance, but play out the whole scenario in your mind and rlly let your imagination loose, try to imagine the landscape and the scents, anything you can. When the song ends, imagine the person from your desired reality letting go of you and saying "Y/N, it's time to go home." After they say that, they should lead you through a ‘door’.
Step 4: Affirm. Once you are inside the door, you are going to do "I am" affirmations (I am shifting to my desk reality, I am in my desired reality, etc.) anything that’ll help cement your belief really.
Step 5: Finished. When your vision goes black, you can open your eyes. You should be in your desired reality.
i think it’s a very beginner friendly method, it’s great for visualising esp if you have a song that you strongly associate with your dr and you can even have fun with it bcuz i find it’s not as exhaustive as other methods !!
remember to be safe and take care of yourself darlings !! feel free to pop into my inbox with questions for me (or rafe shifter anon if she doesn’t mind) about shifting as well, i’d love if we could have a whole shellxrls shifting community lol.
#sorry this is so long omg i knew i’d start yapping if i got the chance 😭😭#asks.ᐟ ⋆。˚𖦹#;rafe shifter#;chatting#shifting#reality shifting
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'tis the season for winter fits ༘⋆🤍🌨️❄️₊˚ෆ
chic chronicles, episode 2
Heyyy, welcome back to another episode! Currently living in the area of Chicago today we experienced our first snow! I was super super excited but then realised "wait... what do I even wear?!" It gets extremely cold here, especially with the wind chill. This episode's intention is to suggest a couple of fit basics that you can wear while still staying warm and not freezing yourself! Also don't forget to use my code ICIEASHIE30066 on your next YESSTYLE ORDER for a DISCOUNT!
note: Before we start these are just suggestions so remember to ALWAYS prioritise your health first and staying cozy and warm when out. 𓍢ִ໋☕️✧˚ ༘ ⋆
1. With winter, its all about layering up. Basics would include thermals (my suggestion would be to get neutral colored ones - so white, black or beige would be ideal), a hat (of course, to keep the cold out!), a scarf and gloves! For all of these my main colour recommendations would be black, white or beige or more pastel-y colours. I feel like these colours are the best colours to work around when planning outfits! Earmuffs are also a perfect addition if you don't want to wear a hat. It's important to make sure your neck and ears are covered to ensure the most comfort and to not fall sick, cause we don't want that.
2. Jackets/Coats are the CRUCIALL!!! With this go out with whatever colour suits your personal style! Personally, I have a white Calvin Klein Coat for winter as well as a Black and Light Brown Coat with fur. Puffy Jackets that have an inner layer of fleece LOOK and FEEL amazing. Fleece jackets themselves are a great choice!
An example of these would look like (taken from YESSTYLE):
3. The bottom half of your body could either be adorned with a skirt or a pant. If wearing pants, I would suggest getting looser pants like sweatpants or jeans (that aren't a tight fit) so that you can wear your thermals underneath them without them fitting too tight and uncomfortable. These would be more applicable to colder windier weathers (like chicago) but if it isn't too cold then any pants would do as long as they keep you warm! In the case of skirts, who said you couldn't wear them? That's a lie! The best way to keep yourself warm and look cute while wearing skirts would be to get yourself a pair of fleece tights! FLEECE TIGHTS, I swear are a life-saver AAA. They keep you perfectly warm and you can wear a skirt underneath them. I would suggest to not get skin colour as they can appear a bit off (colour-wise) but, definitely go for colours like Black or Coffee Brown/Dark Brown. Remember to get ones that are thick and protect your legs and are a good quality!
4. Shoes time! If it snows like crazy maybe invest in waterproof snow boots that are thick and cover more than just your ankle length. If you've experienced winter or grown up in those kind of places you should already be having these! One of the ones I have when its not too cold or snowing are these knee high leather boots and you can even pair them with cute leg warmers:
But during snow I recently just got these cute chunky snow boots:
And chicettes that's your main necessities for winter! Remember to make adjustments according to your style/preference and weather regulations! Being stylish n warm during winter is a deadly combination. Thanks for making it to the end and see you next time!
~ sleepy angel 606 over and out. (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶)
PS: (all pictures taken from pinterest cr to owners)
#aesthetic#cute#trend#aestethic#youtube#trending#girlblog aesthetic#just a girlblog#girlcore#gaslight gatekeep girlblog#girlblogger#girlblogging#girlhood#it girl#this is a girlblog#just girlboss things#this is what makes us girls#winter#first snow#winter aesthetic#cold#snow#winter arc#winter outfits#winter fit#winter cute#chic chronicles#outfit inspiration#outfit#outfit inspo
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In its ceaseless attempts to introduce discourse into my life, even though I’m not following anyone that invested in it, Twitter keeps pushing quote retweets to this particular tweet into my timeline
I see about 5 of them per day, no exaggeration. All put in my timeline under the guise of “this might interest you” or “topic: Arts and design”. Most of the replies are wonderful, extremely talented artists who dunk on OP by posting their achievements that they got at a very young age. Some are very impressive, such as people getting contacted by dreamworks at age 17 to work for them. Wow!! What a wonderful opportunity~
What I dislike about this whole ordeal though is that, well. Let’s get the obvious out of the way first, OP is clearly a right wing fascist that made this tweet entirely as bait for replies, and it worked. Secondly, that pointing at something someone else made and using it to attack people is such backwards logic that he either apparently either forgot that the group of “hasn’t done anything worthwhile at 23″ includes him, he doesn’t care, or he thinks that running a fascist account on twitter counts?? Like wow that’s so brave of you, no one has been conservative on twitter before.
And finally, that as well-intentioned and talented as the artists replying to this tweet are, it doesn’t address the main issue: that age really isn’t a factor in making great things. It’s not a deadline, and it’s not proof that you’re better than others the lowest you get it, like it’s golf or something. And if you reply to this tweet being like “well I made something amazing when I was just 16″, what’s stopping OP from pointing to you instead, and going “look everyone! This person made something amazing when they were just 16. What’s YOUR excuse”.
Bottom line you shouldn’t feel bad if you’re X age and you haven’t gotten your big break yet. Maybe your greatest work happened when you were 20, good for you. Maybe it will happen when you’re 50, maybe when you’re 80. Does any of that mean that you’re lesser because you took longer? That you made the wrong choice by focusing on your studies, family, health, what have you during your youth instead of honing a craft? Is there a point to perpetuating the idea that greatness ends at 25 and everyhing you do after that is automatically failure, for some reason? Is there any point to lowering yourself to a fascist’s level in order to try to convince them that they’re wrong? Should you even bother replying to an account called the motherfucking Western Traditionalist, knowing that looking at Fountain, a piece that is over 100 years old, causes them to bust into flames and start crying about woke culture? Do you really want to prove yourself worthy to that kind of person?
Keep doing whatever it is you’re doing, take as long as you need. No worries if it takes a while to be recognized. The only people who would judge you for that are the kind of people who think alpha males are a real thing, so why care about what they think?
#yui rambles#like literally this is just me rambling#i guess twitter won this one because i did end up getting upset and having an opinion#about something that i never should have cared about anyway#and that would have never reached my timeline if twitter allowed me to curate my own online experience in the first place#but at least im complaining about it on tumblr so im not giving them any traffic
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6, 13, 20, 7, 11
romance is a genre here ( ft. romance & relationship headcanons meme w/ @irrwicht )
6. would your muse kiss on the first date?
if the mood is right and there's chemistry, sure! i do think sex would be a no-go though simply because this isn't just a one night stand, this is someone who could potentially be someone sticking around for the long run...someone whom sol could become acquainted and so calum wouldn't want sex to get mixed in right away.
7. where is your muse most sensitive?
probably his back! weird place, i know, but if you wanna make him melt, just give him a lot of back kisses <3
11. how comfortable is your muse with their appearance and their body?
hmmmm i think when he was younger he was a lot more self-conscious about how he appeared in public since his family put a lot of pressure on him to always look 'presentable' to the public....that being said, he does try to keep in shape as it helps with his mental health and maintaining his busy life, so I would say over the years, he's become neutral in relation to his body and appearance although he might get self-conscious if he's like, naked in front of a partner....i think he's someone who's more comfy with covering up in general.
13. what traits does your muse value in a romantic partner?
i used to try to pinpoint what his ideal type would be bc I was intent on calum one day perhaps going single ship...that being said, since I've set him to multiship for good, I will say the most important thing for calum is that regardless of the circumstances and the personalities, they have to be first and foremost reliable. someone who he can rely on in a crisis.
i also think it helps if they're a tad competitive too since calum does tend to get invested in say, card games... someone snarky, just someone who can bring out his playful side so he can have a bit of fun too.
one other thing i've found as well is that in a romantic partner, he's more likely to drawn to someone who is also lonely at the core? there's something about that kind of loneliness that he can empathize with and therefore would feel more comfortable with unveiling his own loneliness as well...this often also applies to friends as too :'D
20. how does your muse feel about public displays of affection? would they engage in them?
he doesn't mind holding hands, hugging, giving a kiss here and there, but you won't find him engaging in anything more explicit...he would prefer to have some kind of privacy in moments of intimacy. it's a decorum thing ( one that his parents ingrained in him ), but just he doesn't like having eyes drawn to him and his relationship.
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I crave some Cassander angst!
🌳🥝🍐⭐ for mister Songweaver, please?
omg hiiii i didn't expect any asks but cass angst is always something i can do, unfortunately (blame it on theo, i always do it to deflect from the crime of being a bad oc mom sometimes)
🌳Compare your OC to themself from 10 years ago. How has their mental state changed since then, how have they aged and grown up? Would they say they’re in a better place than they were back then or do they need help? What advice would they give their younger self? What advice would their younger self give to them now?
Oh boy, his mental state 10 years ago vs now... It's so much worse, as expected. Not only has more shit been piled onto 'shit that happened to him' mountain (meeting his parents after 10+ years of no contact, Spire's fall) but he also lost all support systems. He wasn't doing his absolute best ten years ago either - he still didn't want to confront his own trauma, under the excuse of 'there's time!!' (until there was not, of course) but those years were nevertheless the genuinely happiest ones of his life.
If he needed help then, he most definitely needs help now. Compared to a more jovial Cassander of his early Wayfarer days, current Cassander is jaded, acidic and bitter. He keeps everyone at arm's length and makes himself as much of an asshole as he can, but then is hurt by being lonely. Current Cassander, for all intents and purposes, is obviously struggling and refusing to acknowledge it in its entirety. I don't think baby Cass would have any advice to offer, not truly.
🥝What does a bad mental health day look like for your OC? Walk us through it with them. What kind of things can help them out of this slump and what kinds of things comfort them when they start to feel like this?
On a bad mental health day, he gets sensitive and tries to cover it up by being very bitey. It's not very pleasant. Things get under his skin easier, so he's quicker to react in negative ways. On a day he's particularly ruthless in his sarcasm, it's most likely this. In private, however, he'll just cry. He's a firm believer that crying is a good thing and isn't really shamed of it. That being said, he hasn't had a good, ugly cry in a long, long time.
Hugs help a lot. Cuddling as well; Aeran knows this and accommodates it when he can. Being taken care of is also a huge comfort as a reminder that someone's investing time in him. And of course, having his hair played with/brushed bc he doesn't let just anyone do it. Hair's important.
🍐What is your OC’s mentality? Are they overall positive? Negative? A bit of both? Describe their thought patterns and reasoning behind their choice making!
I'd say leaning negative, but that's hidden behind a veneer of playfulness and lightheartedness. He refuses to take things seriously, because if he does, it'll just prove his preconceived, very negative notions about the world even more right. So he's guided exactly by this, oftentimes without thinking - what's fun, what's interesting, what makes him challenge himself without being deeply uncomfortable.
There's also a rather strange thing about him in that he's incredibly fair. In negotiations, but also as a general thing; he's wary about showing kindness a lot of the time because he isn't sure he'll be repaid for it. If he's being an ass, he well and fully expects the other party to be an ass to him as well.
So these three things - playfulness, fairness and recklessness - all join to create a mentality that's very, very fun to write about ngl
⭐What is your OC afraid of? Any crippling phobias or some such? How do they act when scared and what helps them calm down? Does anyone ever find your OC scary? Why?
Listen, here's an angst dialed up to a 100 if this wasn't painful enough - he's not afraid of much. Dislikes some things more than others, sure, but more physical dangers? Just gotta outwit them and you're good to go! For the most part. I'm still waiting for a significant fail in persuasion from him. But what he's really afraid of is loneliness. Things he can't outwit, things that catch up with him, things he can't shake off. Those three years between the Spire's fall and Aeran, with an exception of the time he spent with Sanne, really showed him how terrifying loneliness can be so he'll do just about anything to avoid it. On a funnier note, though, he's also kinda scared of being robbed bc he was robbed once. While sleeping. He's extra careful now.
Is he scary tho? He can be. Towering guy with a sword can be scary and he's been known to use it. Let's not discount his murderous aura too. He is Sero's apprentice after all. I'd be scared of him personally.
#wayfarer#wayfarer if#wayfarer mc#cassander inteus#this was a longboi#and very angsty#i didn't write his fear response bc i don't know it#i have to write it in a fic to be able to track it#some of this needed a thonk so ty!#tysm for dropping by <3
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"I was struggling with quitting fire dept before David was killed. Thought I was finding the light at the end of the tunnel & then that train hit. Trying to find a new perspective. Lots of his side pieces came out of the woodwork. Hell I didn't know he had a wife before Cary. She's acting like they were still married same as Cary. I've had some if his side pieces of David reach out & try to be friends. No thanks. Most of his were psychotic."
I've always felt that I have to be really close to perfect to get peoples approval or love. I made straight As in high school and college, metals in the US Marine Corp, health and safety manager at a chemical plant, special operations firefighter, professional photographer and outstanding diver, it never seemed to be enough. Everyone has always expected more. It's exhausting if im being honest. Adds SO much stress to everything I do. I guess that's a big part of why I struggle so much with selfish people in my life.
We did have a lot of fun. I told someone about that a couple of weeks ago when we were in Fl. Friend ordered prawns & I busted out laughing. They couldn't figure out what issue was. Told the story & then hers came the same way. She sent them back. Lol. Was talking about Thailand & the bad driving by the motorcycle driver. Thailand trip. Lol that was kind of a disaster but parts were fun. We mostly had fun. Some days/times were better than others. Don't think it was intentional but we were either both doing well or we were doing bad hustle wise. We had our friends separate from us. Some days that was good & others it wasn't. We were either all in or didn't give a shit. I felt like I cared when I shouldn't have & im sure you felt the same some times. I will even admit that at one point I thought we would make a good family. Then realized you weren't leaving the guys you found for confidants. Think that was my lightbulb moment that I should have moved on. I didn't which made me want to kick myself years later. I always hang on too long hoping that I can do something to make a change. What a dumbass!!!
That was how I felt originally but then we did a lot like a family over the years. It changed what I wanted. Some things happened & made me feel stupid for thinking that could ever be possible. I'm not a prince, fairytales don't come true. Communication was ALWAYS our problem!!!! We assumed we knew what the other wanted too much instead of asking. I'm not the same person I used to be. Learned some Really hard lessons along the way. None I care to repeat. I honestly wondered some days what you were doing. Couldn't understand what you were trying to prove & to whom. Figured it wasn't my battle to fight so quit. I live in today. The past wasn't kind to me & tomorrow isn't promised. I make alot of plans b/c that typically leads to me doing almost everything spur of the moment.
I finally have a great retirement. Probably something I should work on more but another complication. Everything I had invested I saved by movinb it in time. I will leave a big boy job with benefits less than a year. Until then who knows. There have been many horrible things said over the years by both of us. Just know that in all of our time together that I never cheated on you, entertained anyone else, I appreciated the things you did for me & I truly loved you. Despite all that has been said & what you thought or still think is true, that is the truth. I acted bullet proof. You were either in Go mode, or Sex mode. Seemed to be very little of in between. A lot of the time I felt like you were only with me when it was convenient. We would make plans & something better would come along so you left me hanging. I will never forget we had come home from work, showered, played & then went to sleep. Woke up & you had left a note that you were going to do something for a friend. You were going to come right back & didnt. Came back drunk and you said didn't know where you were at. We had had such a great morning & I was ready to pack all my shit & hit the porch. I was SO pissed I was fuming. I was at first dating a married woman who was never leaving her lifestyle. What else did I expect. I was done with you but let you come back a few days later. You said it was a miscommunication. That was probably the start of our demise. Just FYI... I always liked buttering your bread. LolI'm trying to learn to chill. My problem is when I have down time, I get in my head. NOT a good place to be. That's what happened to me this Sunmer. I wanted to be home all Summer & thought I would do a ton of cool things. Got what I wished for & liked it. Impossible travel plans came through like rain it was amazing.
I've never been great at expressing my feelings. Makes me vulnerable. Only a few times I really fully trusted you. That's a big part of why I didn't share b/c I didn't want things to change. Anger, frustration & shutting down was b/c I didn't think I could tell you how I really felt or what I wanted. I knew you had others & if I didn't say or do the right thing you would give them my time. That's the last thing I wanted. You have to remember that i don't recall you asking either. Again too much assuming what was needed/wanted on both of our parts. I have nothing to lose now by being honest. Last time we spoke you said some really really mean things to me. Amongst those that you hated me. If you go away today & we don't speak again for several more years at least you will know how I feel for better or worse. Not saying anything to be mean or hurt your feelings b/c that's definitely not my intention. Just letting you know my perspective. You know I don't really think we ever said I love you to each other that i felt it was real from you. Nice to know hindsight. Sure would have been nice if we hadn't let our egos get in the way, huh? I did those things b/c I loved you. Wasn't big on saying my emotions then, more of showing my love. Funny I tell people all the time that I love them now.
I don't do what I do for recognition. I do it b/c it's the right thing to do. These days that's few & far between. I was raised by some damn heathens but I was taught to do unto others as you would have them do unto you. I would want others to help me if I was in the same situation. Luckily I've never needed much help b/c I can honestly say probably 90% of people I've helped wouldn't lift a finger. That's ok b/c I never expect anything in return.
I come out on the other side of my problems doing well b/c there is no other option for me. I have no one to rely on. Nobody is going to do it for me except me. That is the realization I live with everyday!!! Sad state of affairs if I do say so myself. I love it due to the fact that I have honestly, responsibility, and accountability.
Happiness & Joy sound great. I hope you succeed.. Many lessons learned on both sides. I'm glad you reached out. I'm quite content with having lunch or a drink if both schedules match but understand there will be walls & Armour as you like to call it. Nothing personal just protective. You really were my safe space sometimes but still felt judged a lot for not having my shit together too. I was just thinking while I was on the phone that I must have not thought you were being genuine. Or we weren't in a good place when you said you loved me. You used to do extra stuff to make up for when you had stood me up or acted crazy. Maybe it was one of those times. As a general rule a year or so into us I would have been over the moon. But the first of many "just friends" off of tender was the last of us honestly.
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⚫️ $50k in savings, bills paid early, income and savings numbers always growing, investing in my business and Gabes business, opening up investment accounts, watching our credit scores grow and our kids savings accounts.
⚫️ healthy baby girl, miles being the most loving brother. Miles loves helping with his sister, singing to her, sleeping with her, picking out her clothes, giving her kisses. He is always excited to show her off.
⚫️ having support from the grandparents (Gabe’s mom and dad and my mom and dad) they love to play with miles and take him out or watch the baby so Gabe and I can continue to have date nights. They are a huge help and the kids get to grow up with them in their lives which is amazing. The grandparents have really come together and made life much easier for Gabe and I - giving us breaks to be with each other, talk finances, decide our child’s education, and talk about our goals as a couple and a family.
⚫️ Gabe and I gave a living relationship with each other. We communicate well, we deal with finances really well. We work together to provide an amazing home for our kids and we make sure to love each other. We prioritize our own health and wellness and we dress our best. We feel really good with each other and we support each others dreams. We parent together and give each other breaks when we need it. We are truly a team and we have just fallen more and more in love with each other.
⚫️ abundant, buying the nice things I love, while having a balance of putting money in savings, investing, being smart, and living life to its fullest
⚫️ miles in baseball, golf, Spanish classes, and being homeschooled with me. We do art, math, writing, reading, he’s learning and growing and I take him to hang out with his friends, to the moxi, to the botanic gardens, the beach, museums. We are always exploring. He’s growing up to be strong, smart, active. He’s social and smart yet he loves being close to me - his mom. He loves playing with dad. He loves his sports ⚾️ ⛳️ he’s amazing at golf and baseball and people are wildly impressed with him.
⚫️ we take our kids traveling 🧳 on weekend trips, out of the country (Italy in 2025 - a new country/ place each year). We go on train rides, visit family, always have our own space to stay as a family.
⚫️ my Etsy shop: digital products and art products taking off and providing us with between $3k - $10k per month so we’re able to completely pay off debt, save money, and live life fully while I still have the freedom to be a present mother and take care of myself. I love to create my art - paintings, digital - whatever it is. I’ll take on clients here or there but I mostly focus on my passive income. It’s provided a huge amount of profit and it’s fun for me. I create art whenever I feel like it and add the items to my online shop/ etsy. Sales picked up so much in 2024 that I was able to truly focus on motherhood and creating.
⚫️ yoga and exercise regularly. Investing in my skincare routine, my hair, getting myself and Gabe nice clothes and shoes that make us happy. Stroller walks with harden and the kids. Breastfeeding my baby girl and watching her be strong, healthy, happy. Feeling in love and comfortable with my body.
⚫️ vacationing in Sicily Italy for 9 days for Sophia’s wedding - staying at Connie’s gorgeous home, with the kids, eating the BEST FOOD, feeling so abundant, wealthy, happy with my friends and family.
⚫️ HOME: our home is our sanctuary. Our home is coming together beautifully, slowly, and with so much intention. We have started making the yard a gorgeous sanctuary. We have begun to hang up art. I feel so much pride in my home, in my space. The kids room and living room are functional, gorgeous and just as I pictured. Miles loves to play in his room with his toys. Miles also loves to work on the garden and play with his tractor 🚜. He loves to play make believe and have fun in the yard or have time building on his Lego wall in his room. He’s creative and artistic, smart, and he’s been a huge help with the baby girl. The living room is my artsy haven: I’ve hung up the art pieces I want, got the bookshelf I dreamed of, the dining/ living area that I envisioned, the rug I wanted, the curtains, and each little detail is coming together down to the coasters and display books. The hallway is also coming together with a spot for keys and mail, a functional and aesthetic storage for our shoes, little signs on the door that say take off your shoes, a beware dog sign on the gate. My room is cozy and safe and my office space is SO ME and so aesthetic: with the custom shaped wooden table slab that me and my dad sanded and stained, the cute desk items, beautiful round lamps, gorgeous curtains, amazing laptop and recording set up (Gabe also loves to use the recording set up for Pokemon - his channel is GROWING fast), little organizational trinkets, the best books, gel pens, laptop stand holder, all the things that make me so happy, and the coziest chair! I love my work space when I sit to work on my digital products or post helpful videos on my YouTube channel. I’m having FUN with my work and home.
⚫️ life is truly peaceful and every element that I worked in manifesting has shown up in my reality. I knew it would and it did. The money, the savings, the family, the health, the clothes, the travel, the business, the ease, the time with my kids. It’s everything I dreamed of but I’m living it in real life. And I’m just so freaking content/ happy/ blessed. 😇 This life I have - I am so so so grateful for.
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In my early 20s
I haven't been writing much as compared to when I was in college. I still have that skill for deep reflection and gaining insights in my day-to-day life, and basically making sense of things but as I grew older, I became more quiet and discreet about these thoughts. It's kind of conflicting actually because a part of me wants to share wisdom and wants to inspire other people but then the other part of me is telling me I should just keep it to myself. I'm very big on my daily affirmations and manifestations and one of them is still to inspire other people and impart wisdom. I processed where this fear of speaking up came from and I think it was because I kept telling myself before that I wasn't really good at writing. I am good at speaking, I feel I have the charisma for it and I have had a lot of exposure from it but writing seems kind of daunting for me because when you do write, there's an evidence of what you've said and if you were to say something wrong, people can still come back to it and judge you. The fear of being perceived, the fear of being wrong, the fear of failing. Well, as someone who is very persistent at getting better all the time and someone who has a lot of thoughts lol, I think i'll just start small. I feel like this is a good platform because nobody here really knows me personally and people here are more carefree than in any other platforms.
Anyway, enough about that. Today I wanted to talk about how I am navigating through my early 20s. I am 24 btw. As compared to most people, I've already figured out what I wanted to do in my life early on and so goal setting and decision making was quite easy. I know people keep telling me to enjoy my 20s, well I am enjoying my 20s, just not in the way people imagined. I am in a field that I actually love, I enjoy my jobs both part-time and fulltime job, I enjoy my graduate studies, and basically I enjoy everything that I'm doing right now. Although I am mostly busy, I work 7 days a week, 5 days for my full-time job and part-time job. I don't go out as much as other people because most of my day is occupied with work. Of course, I get tired and burnt out too because my work entails listening to people about their mental health issues and well-being but overall I feel fulfilled with my job. I feel a sense of purpose and I have a strong drive to grow and learn everyday. Work-life balance, I am working on it. I'm making conscious choices to rest more. I'm making it an intention to have a day free for myself to rest. I'm also including it in my monthly plans to do something creative or do something new. Right now, I would say I'm struggling with my search for a 'community'. I grew up being involved in a lot of communities, civic organizations, community organizations, school organizations, creative groups and when I graduated, I had less and less of that. Of course I have my new community, my workmates from both jobs but well, that's work and I've learned that relationships in workplaces are quite complex. I feel like right now, I need a community where I can just be my creative and passionate self. I used to belong to a number of communities in music, theater, and arts but right now, my life is quite different that I can't imagine yet going back to that kind of lifestyle as I know that when I do go back to those communities, I become very invested to it. So i'm thinking maybe this is the time for me to explore new things too.
Speaking of exploring and trying new things, it brings me to the topic of insecurity and social pressures. I was listening to a podcast earlier where they were saying that people in their 20s right now experience more pressure than people in their 20s before. The pressures came from of course, social media. They said that because of social media, you get to see what other people are doing and it gives you the idea of what you could be doing too and there's so many pressures out there, so many information, so many options, that you feel more pressure to actually "enjoy your 20s" that you end up not enjoying it at all. I found that insightful because it verbalized one of the reasons why I've withdrawn so much from social media. I used to be all over social media not just for personal purposes but also professional purposes. I was a performer then and had a bit of influence in terms of music and performing. It was fun at first putting out your creative self out there, opportunities came left and right, getting appreciation from people until the effects of being in the limelight affected my self-esteem and mental health. Along with other personal traumatic incidents, I had to go under the social media radar. It was hard at first of course, but the more I stayed away from it and found other ways to spend my time instead of posting and scrolling on socmed, it became easier. I'm proud to say that I don't ever feel the need to know what others are posting anymore, I don't feel the need to let other people know what I'm doing too, and overall socmed is just very easy to remove from my day to day activities at this point. My use of socmed now is more intentional and I'm able to filter what content is best for me to consume. I love that. Of course, most people now don't know what i'm doing in my life. That's okay. I'm content with my interactions with people now. I am able to set healthier boundaries. And well, it's kind of cool to be lowkey and mysterious lol.
Anyway, all I'm saying is I'm proud of how I'm handling my 20s. It's not perfect and I still feel pressure too but it's more of pressure from the real world, not from what I perceive online. I'm proud to be part of the "outliers". My lifestyle right now helps me function more on internal values rather than external circumstances. Sure, I get insecure every once in a while but because I'm already sure and set on what I want for myself, it's easier now to get back on my real purpose, my sense of self, and decide based on that. In effect, less likely for me to stray from my path. Paired with my highly organized but also flexible way of goal-setting behaviors, it's easier for me to achieve things and do things that really contribute to the life that I've envisioned for myself. Many people may not understand my methods and it's effect on my behavior and relationships with them, but that's okay. I've recently learned that that's a good thing. It helps me recognize the people who will really appreciate me for who I am. It may be isolating sometimes, but that only challenges me to confront myself and the insecurities that my arise from that. It helps me sit with myself and not run away from myself, take accountability of my actions, be more responsible, and contribute more to the things that really matter. Wow, I actually love my life and I'm content with what I have now at the same time have it in me to keep pursuing a better life for me and my loved ones. Although my path may still have bumps and obstacles along the way but it's clear and sure and that helps me enjoy the journey even more. I should cherish this more.
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agree that you should give other people space from any and all of your own smoking including vaping. Dont smoke and vape in closed spaces, it's rude as shit.
Vaping being new DOES mean we have to educate people that it isnt safe. People are less aware and more in denial.
So, Not saying the following to criticize anyone Im rb-ing here personally, just using it as a jumping off point to maybe help develop this message a little more? Obviously their intention was good, nothing wrong with it, and it's an important first step.
So.... I think people really need to understand that smokers know smoking is harmful. Drinkers know drinking is harmful.
Addicts know they are endangering and injuring ourselves when we use.
I just think it's worthwhile to add that unfortunately just "you should stop, it's dangerous" is not gonna make most vapers actually stop.
If you could "just stop" you would not be an addict. If you even really want to stop, you're often already pretty far into it to a point where it's really, really hard without a lot of resolve and a lot of help.
The reason people do things like "vape instead" is because they're looking to drugs and drug-like, addictive solutions to their problems and often addicts do know they're fucked but do try to practice some harm reduction, some control. As opposed to going into a full self destructive spiral, which can also happen.
but addicts are often trying to "maintain", to keep it together, to keep our feelings in check, to keep from having a panic attack or meltdown... and I think smoking is like the epitome of that in addiction, cigarette smoking is an addict trying to get through their workday and just take a little bit of the edge off. It's just a little drug that chills you out a little bit without getting you actually fucked up.
Sooo... quitting smoking is hard. Managing addiction is very, very hard. It can take decades to complete a process of really realizing you need to stop, really wanting to stop, and really being able to stop.
When I smoked cigarettes, I knew it would fuck up my lungs, but I also thought didn't particularly plan on living past my mid-20s.
Sooo if we want to really reach young people who are just starting to smoke and vape... I think we have to have a more comprehensive understanding that what addicts need is not so much to be told not to use, but to be told, "I understand you are stressed out, and if you need help de-stressing in a more healthy way, I am happy to help you."
I wish I could tell people how to quit smoking cigarettes. The only reason I did was because I got so fuckin sick I couldnt physically do it for long enough to quit.
I can say that quitting drinking and weed took many tries and lots of help but the biggest thing was massively investing in my mental health and being willing and able to suffer a lot and work a lot for that sobriety. And it's fucking awesome and worth it.
Some little practical things to do with drug cessation in early stages:
- deep breathing and meditation exercises, like grounding.
- take a long walk without your drug or your wallet.
- take a hot bath.
- wait just five minutes. Then try five minutes more. Let yourself feel your anxiety and discomfort rise and fade.
- write. Write for five full minutes, or just fill one page. Write through the hard thoughts and feelings that are making you want to use.
- call a friend, or go be around a sober person who you feel comfortable with
- tell people you are seriously quitting and dont spend time with people or in places where that sobriety choice wont be respected or you will be tempted
- take your ID out of your wallet and leave it at home.
- reward yourself with some healthy alternative, like a good movie
- practice positive self talk. Cheer yourself on. Dont beat yourself up if you use, it wont help, and dont give up, just keep trying.
I know I sound like your mom but you kids need to stop fucking vaping
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Drudgery is a great poison
Monday, March 6th, 2023 [Day 9]
Procrastination...it’s sneaking in. I think it’s because I’m allowing myself to get stuck in the “deer in the headlights” mindset.
I already talked with my sibling about realistically what I can do as the very next step moving forward. The number one thing right now is what is the most practical thing to get me “out from under other people’s feet”, and able to take care of myself. So, what does that mean?
Yes, I would like to do more with creating videos and content in general, but will that really get me where I want to be in 3 to 6 months? Odds are, no. Again, number one reason being that I have a mental and physical “redline” on me until I get significantly better.
So, does that mean trading? I have been watching more training videos, and it is really starting to make more sense.
And I keep hearing (from entrepreneurs, etc) “Don’t try to focus on multiple things, or they will all suffer from not doing as well.”
Here’s the thing, let’s say that somebody approached me and said, “If money wasn’t a problem, what would you be doing?”, I STILL am not sure what I would tell them.
It’s not so simple as, “Go play piano, compose music, record music, and so on, whenever I wanted to, stream music whenever, and build cool stuff.” Because somewhere in there nutrition and healthy living comes in. I’m kinda obsessed with those things at those point, and admittedly I’ve found myself reading articles and listening to podcasts about those things instead of studying trading.
And of course there’s good reason for my obsession, since I’ve seen the effects of not having a decent diet and not having enough movement.
Another thing I’ve heard from successful people (including two different 9-figure earners who came from nothing, namely Alex Hormozi and Tom Bilyieu), is “don’t chase the money. Find what you’re passionate about, so that you can put your heart and soul into it, and then the money will come.”
There’s just been this tick, so to speak, in the back of my mind, that “I need to make as much money as possible, so that I can do whatever I want with it to create the world I want to live in.” So, not just for myself, but for the things I find important.
So, is my place to simply do I what love, and use whatever influence I have to bring attention to what matters to me, or is it to learn sales, so that I can help bring attention to health and wellness in that way?
But I NEED to then circle back to the question I must be asking myself (and what you should be asking yourself), “Is this something I would be excited to do when waking up in the morning? Would it be something that would get me out of bed day after day?”
Again, I don’t exactly have the answers to these, but at least I know the right answers to ask.
Always asking, “What is the best and fastest [whatever that means] way to make an income” won’t steer you right, if what you’re doing makes you dread getting out of bed. And very importantly in my case, “Even if I’m alone doing this part of the time, will I still be able to enjoy life?” Because there’s honestly nothing worse than doing something just with the expectation to make money, but then feeling empty at the end of the day because you weren’t able to pursue things, or just spend that time doing things that you know are more meaningful and won’t make you feel regret further into the future.
Now, I’ve just realized that when I started journaling (again), it was partly with the intent to also take time for gratitude. Well, playing off what I was just talking about, I’m glad that I’m realizing that there is a thought process to “figuring life out”. Typical societal norms and such brainwashed me into chasing after money, and elusive “feelings”.
But if I’m totally, 100 percent honest with myself, the things (and times in my life) that have meant the most to me have been times about giving of myself, and investing in the things I care about.
If I look at what I’m most grateful for, it’s often directly connected to others giving gifts to me. Not just physical gifts (although those can have a lot of meaning to me, like some books I have), but gifts of time, encouragement, opportunities to work with them on different projects and jobs, etc.
At this moment in time, I am most definitely grateful that I have “a way forward”. Even if there is some amount of uncertainty on my part, I’m also grateful that I’m aware of the ways I can cope with change, and be less afraid of it.
One other thing I’m also grateful for: that I’m slowly making more steps towards healing and feeling better, instead of stumbling crazily (no pun intended lol) around.
Today, I got a spikey therapy ball to roll underneath my feet and along my peroneal nerve (the one next to my left tibia), to help stimulate, and hopefully encourage nerves to grow back some in my bad foot. That nerve is responsible for stabilizing your ankle, and enabling you to have normal “foot liftoff” each time you take a step. And it also happens to be the one that was majorly damaged when I was rear-ended on my bicycle, and my left tibia was broken.
Then of course, we have the Magnesium Glycinate I’ve been taken. Yo, there’s the “normal weird dreams”, and then there’s the “Magnesium-level” weird dreams. There’s no way to really explain it until you start taking a good Magnesium supplement yourself.
I’m especially sensitive to...basically everything, so even this 400mg dosage seems to be doing quite a bit, to say the least. But...my middle of the night leg cramps have gone away, which is awesome. Have had those for a flippin long time. And I'm definitely staying asleep way easier than before.
Lastly, I’m superbly thankful for the music, and the musicians I know through Twitch. In particular, I’m thinking of Kara Comparetto. I’m listening to her play live right now, and each time I pop into one of her streams, it’s like a healing salve to my mind.
Until next time. Todaloo…
youtube
^One of my favorite arrangements by her. She's also just finished releasing her own arrangements of the entirety of the Chrono Trigger soundtrack, and she's slowly releasing all of them with it's own music video on her channel. She has some super talented people doing camera work and editing for her for sure!
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Anthony’s Stupid Daily Blog (323): Thu 2nd Feb 2023
I went over the whole of my Twitter from last year to try to find highlights for a little retrospective I do for a Hollyoaks year in review. Sadly I didn’t really watch as much of the show as I should have done last year due to a combination of constantly being at work and not really wanting to watch the show due to a noticeably severe dip in quality. Lucy Allan came back on board last year to oversea the creative and a lot of Hollyoaks fans thought that she was going to fix the rug the show had been in but not only have things not improved from 2021 but they may have been even worse. Either way here are some of the highs and lows of Hollyoaks in 2022:
Highlights:
The Long Walk home was brilliant. Normally I hate “very special” episodes of TV shows but this one was well written / acted and brought a lot of attention to a serious real world issue
The incel storyline was the best one I watched (although I didn’t see many and didn’t even see all of this one). This brought attention to an issue I knew little about and featured Maxine making a triumphant return to form after a few years of subpar storylines
The carnival / escape room special was unbelievably ridiculous but awesome too. The two parter culminating in a battle on a giant chess board. It was stupid but you’ve got to take your hat off to the show for going all out and not half arsing it.
The “Out Of Time” storyline where Marnie’s salon blew up due to a firework thrown by a misguided environmentalist was a good stunt-based storyline that really shook things up and briefly made the fans think that the show was about to get interesting again but sadly things just got boring again right away.
I was glad that the Devereux story finally ended because that dragged on for way too long and while there were times that I was invested in the complicated backstories of Toby and Celeste by the end I just couldn’t wait for them to leave.
Luke’s declining health and death was the most hard hitting and powerful storyline they did all year. I think this year those of us who were hoping there would be news of a misdiagnosis realized the end was near. Hats off to Gary Lucy and Stephanie Waring for their performances
Lowlights:
I was really gobsmacked and slightly in disbelief that they split up Juliet and Peri after a years build. These two characters finally got together after a year of Juliet realising she was gay, then the two being separated due to Juliet being busted for dealing drugs and when the were finally reunited it felt to me like all the time I’d spent watching was worth it. Then out of nowhere they just had Juliet cheat on Peri. This was the first of many FFS moments we were subjected to from the show over 2022.
Bobby killing Sylver was shocking and the idea of a child serial killer was exciting but didn’t deliver as they dragged it out for most of the year and he didn’t even kill again until September.
Almost total lack of storylines for Ste and Leela. I don’t know if this was because the actors needed time off but if it was just due to a lack of ideas then shame on the show for not having more for these guys to do.
Olivia trying to bring down John Paul was a decent idea for a storyline but the character was so damn boring that I just didn’t care
The thing that almost made me throw in the towel and quit watching the show was when they put Maxine and Warren back together. There was no motivation behind it other than Maxine fancying a bootycall after someone ran her over which felt totally out of character for her and the fact that it was Warren who in the past has tried to put her in jail and attempted to murder her sister Mitzeee made this decision even worse.
The thing that finally made me throw in the towel and stop watching was
when they put Sienna and Warren back together and I realized the writers have no intention of ever splitting them up. Sienna found out Warren killed Brody, vowed to take him down and then just…didn’t. And this nonsense has seeped over into 2023 so I’m trying my best to ignore it.
Not a storyline per se but the disgusting way the show forced Sarah Jayne Dunn out of her job for something she does in her private life was the worst thing the show did behind the scenes. Not a good way to bounce back from the racism scandal of the previous year
Gemma Atkinsons blink and miss return. It was nice to see her and all but if you’re going to reintroduce a long term character sign them up for longer than three episodes and give them a decent storyline at least.
Victors return was lame and pointless. Something clearly devised as a way to give Sid and Juliet to do while they thought of something better.
Verity’s death was the dumbest thing they’ve done in years. Bobby was going to be sent down solely based on killing Sylver and Silas, they didn’t realize he killed Verity until after he was sentenced so it was totally pointless
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I posted 1,775 times in 2022
That's 459 more posts than 2021!
142 posts created (8%)
1,633 posts reblogged (92%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@takiki16
@castiellesbian
@whetstonefires
@cherryblossomshadow
@suibianworks
I tagged 1,775 of my posts in 2022
#star wars - 375 posts
#i ramble in the tags - 294 posts
#i speak - 270 posts
#retag - 256 posts
#i copy tags - 253 posts
#i post - 174 posts
#kenobi series - 146 posts
#funny - 119 posts
#kenobi spoilers - 100 posts
#character analysis - 98 posts
Longest Tag: 135 characters
#when you see a character treated to an act of love or service and then they pay it forward and you can see how much that meant to them?
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
Subverted Character Expectations
Viktor was introduced as feeling stifled by Heimerdinger and wanting to make scientific discoveries. “Do you think it was my life’s ambition to be an assistant?” Viktor watched his friend gain popularity, power, and a new relationship, even as Viktor’s own health deteriorated rapidly. Viktor had every right to feel jealous. But he never was.
Mel Medarda was introduced as a master manipulator. She steered the council meeting with a deft hand and openly desired more. Her family legacy of wealth and her desire to match that was one of the first things we learned about her. Honestly, I was ready to stan her as a problematic fave. I thought I knew which pitfalls her character would fall into. But she didn’t! She pursued peace! She was able to selflessly* sponsor him into the highest position in their city, without becoming subsumed into Jayce’s goals. Yet she also had no intention to use him to further her own goals. *Yes, I said selflessly, because honestly, I don’t know what she gained out of this. I know this is not necessarily the best scenario for Piltover’s citizens or even Jayce himself. But she didn’t do it for herself. I can only assume that because her family dealt in power, that helping Jayce accumulate power was something of a selfless gift from her to the boy she’s crushing on. Because who wouldn’t want power? Certainly not a Medarda.
Professor Heimerdinger was introduced as an archetype of the Old and Wise mentor. But he’s not in tune with the younger generations. He’s no Uncle Iroh or Mr Miyagi, with exactly the right nugget of wisdom for his padawan exactly when they need it most. When he explains his concerns about the arcane, he immediately offers his go-to solution — to wait. And he doesn’t take into account how maddening that feels to humans with a considerably shorter lifespan than him (especially when one of them is terminally ill). Which gets him overthrown in an absolutely believable way.
Silco was introduced as a two-dimentional, cookie-cutter villain in Act 1. His motivations were straightforward — revenge and revolution. But his relationship with Jinx really pulled him into three-dimensional space. Jinx was not just a vehicle through which to see Silco’s nicer tendencies; she was the reason he had any. And his struggle to gain independence for Zaun was that much more interesting when it caused conflict for him due to his valuing Jinx’s wellbeing (or what he saw as her wellbeing).
This is a show based on a video game! I was not expecting it to be even a little good, not to mention THIS good! I was absolutely expecting cookie-cutter characters and a million references to things I would have no way of understanding.
111 notes - Posted January 20, 2022
#4
See the full post
170 notes - Posted June 17, 2022
#3
What gets me about the SNL Try Guys video is their ignorance of context.
SNL ... honey ... that video was not for you.
You don't care about the Try Guys, and you don't have to. But that video was made for their fans, for the people who are already invested in them. You don't understand why they're upset about this abuse of power sorry breach of trust sorry "consensual kiss" so instead you made fun of men showing emotions and holding each other accountable. Look, I know there are worse situations, as you so bluntly pointed out. But that doesn't mean the Try Guys shouldn't have taken it seriously. That doesn't mean that there aren't consequences, that there aren't lives overturned (like the woman whom you dismissively called a Food Baby throughout your video)
275 notes - Posted October 13, 2022
#2
Finn's Lighter
Okay, so this detail had me howling with delight, and it’s not even that subtle. But the lighter?
How Sevika accepted Finn's deal by letting him light her cigar?
See the full post
276 notes - Posted January 16, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
Soldier Boy: I always wanted kids so I could do it better than my father
Also Soldier Boy, seconds after seeing his son for the second time: You're a fucking disappointment
5,971 notes - Posted July 8, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
#tumblr2022#year in review#my 2022 tumblr year in review#your tumblr year in review#i ramble in the tags#about me#2022#i post#most of those are organizational tags#again#:(#surprised that#star wars#is the highest tag#probably bc#kenobi series#?
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Flashback Friday - New Beginnings - A Spiritual Story
From SEPTEMBER 22, 2020
I love this subject matter. I feel I am more often than not, helping individuals and sometimes groups, to create and generate new beginnings. We are co-creators anyway, and I feel that the guidance and channeling that pours through me is mostly to help inspire me and all those lives that touch mine, to deliberately cause intentional change.
None of us are stuck actually, as the World turns whether we agree with each turn or not, so we may as well go with the flow that’s occurring with or without our permission. The real mastery is to learn to move our own energy in harmony with Universal flow. That’s when everything goes well and the outcome is for the best, and serves our highest good.
One of my greatest and most heartfelt stories happened in Central California wine country, at a time when my business success story was a little messy.
My mum, children and myself had moved to a small area just above Santa Barbara. I had the promise of a healing center, shared with an established therapist partner, along with several gifted therapists, that my husband had invested in. I didn’t know at that time that my partner wasn’t willing to share “anything”, least of all clients. It was a really challenging experience that kept me awake at night. Just when I had most of my whole body out of the door of that center, something extraordinary happened.
There were sweet, local promotions that were planned with our healing center’s participation. The first was outside of a clinic. I brought my massage table, which my partner took and offered tasters of her massage work. She proceeded to take all new clients that booked, leaving me to work in a simple, borrowed plastic garden chair. I wasn’t feeling very generous at all, when I decided to leave my table at home the next week for a larger health fair. I figured I wasn’t getting any of the new clients anyway, so I may as well simply use the plastic chair approach again.
I had a private meditation that morning led by the lady who ran the sweet “Angel shop” attached to our healing center. My grandmother had spiritually come to me with a golden key and a huge smile that all would be just fine. I cried a little and then swept up my mum, who as the greeter and was going to make sure the distribution of new clients was treated with more fair play. We set up my plastic garden chair, while all the therapists around me had massage chairs, real massage tables and they looked professional.
The morning was progressing in an amazing way. Something special was occurring. A woman sat down and I closed my eyes, with my hands on her shoulders, I whispered in her ear that she was a legal professional and needed to leave her work in the office, because it was never going to be a clean desk. Her shoulders were taking a hit for all the hard work she hadn’t let go of, and it was getting in the way of her having fun. I was being very discreet with the messages that came with the visions I had for her. She, however, was asking me in a loud voice “How do you know that?”
I was shushing her, so that we didn’t bring any attention to ourselves. Her shoulders gave way and let go of all the burdens she’d been carrying. I could literally feel the freedom her body was experiencing after we completed our little 30 minutes of intent healing.
She left my chair, giving her email and information to my mum. She wandered into the health store, whose land we were on, and suddenly I had a line for my plastic chair.
The clouds were moving in and rain was just starting to spit at us. Me and my plastic chair were only just under the canopy we had. My back wasn’t shielded. I was looking at my mum to indicate maybe it was time to go soon.
A man walked past my mum at that point. He dragged his right leg with his right arm dangling while he took each labored step. My mum offered him up my plastic chair, like a throne he may wish to sit on. He declined, pointing out that his stroke didn’t afford him any feeling on his right side.
She shrugged, knowing we had more than one foot out the door of this promotional day, and said he had nothing to lose. He walked and came back, nodding at her, giving her his information and sat down in my plastic chair.
I could immediately feel a huge energy with me, and my whole body was vibrating at a greater level. I closed my eyes, breathed deeply and floated my right arm over his. He mentioned that he could feel that. I focused on his arm, seeing all the flow of blood, lymph and veins in my mind’s eye. It was more than interesting to sit behind my own eyes, having a detailed anatomy lesson on him. I got lost in it, until I saw behind the closed eyes, that he was lifting and stretching his arm, opening and closing his fist with ease. I opened one eye and it was happening exactly as I had been viewing it. I quickly closed the eye as I felt suddenly overcome with emotion. A miracle was happening before my eyes. A deep emotion welled up in me, that was heavy and loud. I found myself openly sobbing and my mum was behind me, reminding me to breathe.
The man in my chair hadn’t moved his whole right side, which had been paralyzed with grief from the death of his mother 2 1/2 years earlier. His grief for her had locked him in a body that couldn’t move on the side that represented family and close relationships. Her death had created his stroke and much of his life had died with her. This day was an open door for new beginnings.
My mum loved every moment of that healing experience.
She told me on the way home that one of the other therapists had a man in his chair and was so focused on me, that he pushed the guy’s head almost all the way through the head part of the massage chair and had a little difficulty getting him out again. She was trying not to laugh while helping me to breathe and stay focused.
He came to the healing center and after 3 more sessions, he was back to work and in his life again. New beginnings had occurred for him.
Local news interviewed us.
My partner finally told me to leave and that she would buy me out, paying my husband back every penny, which she did.
We all had new beginnings from his reset button being pressed.
As always, please share this post with anyone that you feel can benefit from it! Please like us on your social media channels and subscribe to our mailing list if you haven’t already done so… We are mailing out a monthly newsletter and a recap each week of our blog posts and interesting tidbits… This is how you can stay informed with what is new in the world of The Holistic Soul Healer!!
Love & Blessings, Ruth
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Well good morning, Tumblr! I woke up to a few interesting comments today.
I appreciate your acknowledgement, I have worded my message very carefully in an effort to not be misinterpreted, which happens to me often.
I intended this message to be a friendly debate, my response in no way was intended as an attack. I apologise to those that felt invalidated. I will explain my points a little more clearly:
Point One and Two
I think the majority of this can be summed up by "ship and let ship" I believe is the phrase. We interpret the show differently and that is valid on both sides, people like what they like and dislike what they dislike. I only wished to shine a different perspective relating to the points you brought up.
Point Four and Five
In point 4 I am afraid I am a little confused. Yes I am frustrated for the level of anger because it feels toxic. Perhaps I am interpreting this point incorrectly; to me, getting so upset about something so deeply without grounding, and knowing that things are fundamentally alright feels unhealthy. To be clear, I'm not saying that enjoying the show or finding comfort in it is bad, I just mean if you allow it too far into your world that you rely on something fundamentally out of your control for a source of happiness can be dangerous.
This is my observation, not an attack on any specific person. I am aware that everyone has a different life and that escapism is a very popular method of coping. Of course we all feel things, and some more intensely than others, however the reality is that it is a show. That is a fact. It is a good show, it makes me feel things very deeply and I am very invested in the characters and I have had a fixation on Star Wars for many years now.
I am not attempting to insult anyone by suggesting a step back if it is affecting someone's mental health. I am not sure how else I can say it? I was attempting to be as gentle but direct as possible. It's hard for people to hear information like this. It's a hard truth, I understand the natural recoil, but I feel that it is necessary information. Happiness comes from within.
As for this, (I am going to quote directly) You want to help? Listen, acknowledge, love people through it. That is exactly what I am doing. I tried to use as much gentle language as possible and I am remaining civil, and I am not attacking anyone. I have no hate toward anyone in this thread, Allistic, Autistic, ND or otherwise.
Point Six
It was not my intention to be dismissive, and as I stated in that paragraph, it was not a direct message to anyone. Autistic or otherwise.
Further to that point, thank you for sharing your own experiences with therapy, not everyone is comfortable talking about themselves and their medical history.
Your mention of putting in the work, I have. A lot of work. Years of it. However, I am hesitant to divulge my medical information and history to strangers on the internet so freely. Those closest to me know it. Some of my mutuals know part of it. I have mentioned some of it on my blog before.
I appreciate that you are willing to refute my points, as that was my intention, however, this has suddenly become about me and my views and beliefs. As though I am personally in need of serious therapy because I disagreed with someone on the internet.
I am disagreeing with a point of view as respectfully as possible. I am not attacking anyone.
I am the most mentally healthy that I have been in my life. Is there work still to be done? Of course. However, this and my mental health journey is - to be blunt - not relevant to my initial points nor is it anyone's business.
To address the rest of the thread:
Since, there are vague posts that I can only assume referring to my mention of Autism and "talking over Autistic voices" I believe were the words used.
I disagree with that statement two fold. Firstly, OP never specified that they were autistic so I do not know how I was talking over them.
Secondly, I am Autistic. I did not bring it up because, it was not relevant imo and also, I wanted to keep it private. Being pressured to admit this in an effort to have my point of view validated feels very dehumanising.
Noone came into my DMs to ask me if I was or wasn't Allistic. It was just assumed.
All in all, I am not angry or being deliberately rude to anyone, I was attempting to engage in a friendly debate of a show I have a fixation on. I have a love of film and story-telling and how stories are put together. This was my attempt to share this love of exploring the show with others.
If anyone has felt invalidated, that is not my intention in any way and I apologise that was your experience.
I hope everyone has a good day or night, depending on your timezone.
WHY I DON'T LIKE TECH x PHEE: An unintentional essay
Alright, yall, I've figured it out on my end. I think. I just need to get some of this out so that I can move past it. I'm not even gonna tag it under tech x phee, cause you know what, I don't want to harsh the mellow over in that space, I'm just voicing what I've discovered.
This is long.
Wanda Sykes: I LOOOOOVE Wanda Sykes, love her - love her so much that I can't see anyone else with her voice. A 60 year old lesbian comedian... and you want to make her a 20 something pirate captain flirting with a male cl- no. No. Capital N. O. Like, I thought she and Rhea Perlman were going to be a fun comedic, older duo playing off of each other. Or that they'd have some sort of sassy relationship. But instead she's a coy, fun adventurer who starts to join in TBB family? Nope. No. Didn't sell it for me. Gimme someone else, might have worked. Try Anika Noni Rose, or if you need that star factor, Halle Barry or Beyonce or, for fucks sake LIZZO (can you imagine her beautiful voice as Phee? OOOO I just shivered. Loved her as the Duchess, but her as Phee! Instantly WAAAAY more excited about that character.) Not Wanda Fucking Sykes (like I said, LOVE her. But no. Choices.)
The Build Up: You guys. We are all literally writers. Where were the beats? Where were the moments? You naturally want there to be a moment the audience goes 'ooooooh yeah ok I see it'. IT HAPPENED WITH HUNTER. The next day I remember quite a few of us going 'OMG YES!!! Yes, totally ship that, saw the chemistry with Phee and Hunter! Into iiiiit.' I resisted that one too, cause of the Wanda Sykes thing, but you know what? IT. WORKED. I went with it cause it worked. Was actually kind of excited. Was looking forward to the fics. Did not happen once with Tech, never saw anyone go 'oh look at that chemistry between pirate and genius'. NOPE BTW SUDDENLY THEY'RE ALL TEASING TECH AND TECH AND PHEE ARE IN A SCENE AND THIS IS ALL ABOUT THESE TWO TAH DAAAAH! No. Nope. Not how it works. Feels like my favorite is getting the shitty end of the romance arc stick. Fuck off, no. We have all written better.
Toxic Matchup: The way Phee (see dude, I almost wrote Wanda. Thats how much I can't not see her in this character) treats Tech. One of my mutuals on here, @shadestepping, put it perfectly - "It’s because instead of understanding who tech is as a person and being respectful of how his mind works, she tries to force him to mask because it’s what she wants/it makes communicating with him easier". The example that keeps popping into my head is when Phee sarcastically says "when two people are talking its called a conversation". My eyebrows shot UP, like, this is one of the FIRST THINGS YOU LEARN about Tech- his face is in his datapad. Treating him like an idiot (which is what it sounds like in Wanda voice) because he is doing what he is always doing is not ok (seriously, WTF, dude?). Another mutual, @dumfanting agreed and shared how that hit them: "As someone whose been forced to mask for her entire life, that is wrong and damaging and perpetuates the idea that we as austitics are only worthy of love if we continue to suppress ourselves." And it really doesn't have to be that way. I can rewrite every scene they are in together, still have her be sassy, have her show interest and respect for who he is, and still move him out of his comfort zone. I will do it, if I need to, just to prove it. If the writers are trying to give her some growth too, cool, then TAKE THE TIME TO DO THAT - instead we only hear how HE's being taken out of his comfort zone. How about HER? You want to be with him? Maybe you have to meet him half way, honey
Ultimately, I could have gotten behind this if it was done another way - but the way they went about it missed so many marks. And for my man, that's unacceptable to me. He deserves the best, not something thrown together.
I have spoken.
(Ok, I think that is out of my system.)
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