#so it's not my responsibility to! the only responsibility to MYSELF that I have is to survive and make the world brighter as I go forward
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the first time i was treated even remotely respectfully in public when i first transitioned was at 3am in a 24 hour pizza place while high out of my mind on shrooms. i was in full drag with a full face and it was the first and only time i was ever gendered correctly and respectfully in a public place while presenting femme. i pass now, and I'm thankful that i do, but the amount of effort I've had to put into making my body as acceptable as possible for people just so i don't get harassed for more reasons than being Black in places i don't belong (super white grad school lmao) is wild. i shouldn't have to make myself look like you want me to fuck you for you to respect me, and it really shouldn't be that hard for queer people to realise that that is literally what most of society, including white queers, forces us to do. there's a weird intersection with Blackness and masculinity for both Black men and women that i feel gets pointed out a lot, but i feel like the hypermasculinisation of Black women unless they present sufficiently slutty is something that only gets talked about at length for cis Black women and queer Black women in general. mainly because whenever the dolls try to bring it up the only response is immediate horniness or complete denial. it's also interesting that when i started presenting more masc i started passing, but since then the amount of horny white people who've been unable to remove the rupaulified fucktoy version of me in their brain for long enough to listen to me when i try to talk about how much it sucks being butch and trans has increased. exponentially. you all have too many issues with Black men to even notice how your racism affects every part of how you view Blackness in general.
speaking of! follow up to that earlier thing i said about not being able to be masc and trans without ppl needing to remind you that they only support you for your ability to fuck them ‐ it's worse when you're Black, and you white queens do it too. and i really don't think you realise you do! because I've talked about this with almost every person I've been with (if I've even been allowed to before being dismissed without a hint of concern) and most of them just admitted to doing this at some point in our relationship. so instead of being philosophical I'll just use a few examples from the past 3 years (because they get worse if you go earlier and also i. do not have to)
you don't get to call me sir in bed because I'm masc and you said you want to treat me like a guy in bed (you're gay please stop confusing Black masculinity for being a man and work on your issues before fucking me) and you especially don't get to use this as leverage against me whenever i discuss how racist the relationship dynamic is despite your incredibly vocal support of my activism. you don't get to use my body or the right to demand that i use your body because you have a fetish for Black men, and you aren't allowed to get upset when i point out that this is the most supportive attitude you've had towards any part of me the entire time we've been together. you don't get to take out your frustration against Black people or Black men by making me fuck you, and again you don't get to get upset when i point out how fucked up that is that you call yourself an ally and then only use that allyship to get dicked down. you don't get to assume that because I'm Black and masc i'm the most aggressive top you've ever come across and you don't get to white woman tears your way out of it by using your own transness as a pass. you aren't allowed to enjoy Black bodies if we're only a commodity to you (which you openly admit) and you similarly don't get to white woman tears your eay out of it by using your confused sexuality as a pass.
i think I've made my point so I'm gonna stop! but yeah can you all be normal about Black people thanks a million blushes sweetly
kinda uncomfortable how ppl cant celebrate black trans women unless they are superduperhyperfeminine with 19 layers of makeup + expensive surgeries/weaves/dresses and looking like theyre going to walk the red carpet every day
#okay no one last one bc its funny to me#you don't get to use me as a literal sex toy to fulfill your weirdly specific Black trans butch mommy thing#because don't do that. consider getting a job or an outdoor hobby instead
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Can I request frontman x reader(Any gender) Where the frontman meets the reader OUTSIDE of his games, and then realizes he likes them?
(Sorry if I expressed myself a little unclearly)
soju | hwang in-ho x fem! reader
*.✧ synopsis: after rescuing a stranger late at night. hwang in-ho finds himself sharing soju with the girl he just saved. under the glow of the convenience store, an unexpected bond forms, offering a fleeting escape from his solitude. *.✧ word count: 3.7k *.✧ warnings: happens outside squidgame, attempted crime directed at reader, drinking, mentions of death. don't go drinking with people you don't know alone btw, this is just fiction. *.✧ note: hello to the requestor! hopefully this tickled your fancy :P thought about it earlier so I decided why not? I wrote this in 5 hours, hopefully it suffices. shorter than my past works! also a different writing approach. masterlist | request here
༉‧₊˚. As the overseer of the Squid Games, Hwang In-ho has an insane amount of workload like no other. Setting up the venue, recruiting trusted employees, and scouring for rich sponsors are just a few of the countless tasks he manages every year. ༉‧₊˚. He’s a busy man, constantly on his feet, ensuring everything runs seamlessly. But when his boss, Oh Il-nam, forced him to take a week off, he was left with an unfamiliar emptiness in his schedule, unsure how to fill his time. ༉‧₊˚. Currently, he’s sitting outside a small convenience store, a bottle of soju in hand. It’s nearly midnight—11:58 PM, to be exact—and the streets are eerily quiet. ༉‧₊˚. The air is cool, the weather perfect, and for a moment, it feels peaceful. With no one around, it’s just him and his thoughts. It’s a strangely calming experience, though the loneliness creeps in at the edges. ༉‧₊˚. As the Frontman, he has no companions he can freely invite to moments like this. No friends, no family, and no one to share his burdens. ༉‧₊˚. It’s not a bad thing, he tells himself. After all, solitude means safety. Yet, there’s a part of him that yearns for someone to confide in—someone who wouldn’t judge him for the ruthlessness his position demands.
As In-ho took another shot, the warm burn of soju did little to chase away the emptiness in his chest. The faint hum of neon signs and the soft rustle of leaves were the only sounds accompanying him, a quiet solitude he had come to both expect and resent.
Then a scream shattered the night, sharp and jarring. It pierced through the calm like a knife, slicing his thoughts in two.
He froze, the glass of soju hovering mid-air. For a brief moment, he did nothing, his body stiff with instinctual awareness. But before he could overthink it, his years as a police officer took over. He stood abruptly, scanning the dark street for the source of the commotion.
Down the road, just beyond the glow of the convenience store, two drunk men loomed over a figure, their rough voices slurred with mockery. The figure struggled in vain, her cries muffled by one man’s grip.
In-ho didn’t think. He didn’t hesitate. His strides were purposeful, his steps heavy with intent. “Hey!” he barked, his voice sharp and commanding. “Let her go!”
The drunk men froze, startled by his sudden approach. One of them turned, squinting at him in drunken confusion, before muttering something incoherent. But whatever courage they might have had faltered under the weight of In-ho’s glare, his presence exuding a quiet but dangerous authority. Without another word, they staggered off, stumbling into the shadows.
The figure crumpled to the ground as soon as she was released, her body trembling with shock. In-ho approached cautiously, his gaze softening. “Hey,” he said gently, kneeling down beside her. “Are you hurt?”
There was no response. Her breathing was ragged, her shoulders shaking with silent sobs. In-ho hesitated, unsure if his presence was more comforting or alarming. Slowly, he shrugged off his coat, its fabric worn but warm, and draped it over her trembling frame.
“Here,” he murmured, his voice low and steady. “This’ll keep you warm.”
The weight of the coat seemed to ground her, and she finally looked up at him, her tear-streaked face illuminated by the faint glow of the convenience store’s sign. Her eyes were wide and glossy, a mixture of fear and gratitude.
With a steady hand, In-ho helped her to her feet. She was light, almost fragile, as if a strong wind could knock her over. “Come on,” he said, guiding her gently back to where he had been sitting.
Once there, he gestured for her to sit, his movements deliberate and unhurried. For a while, neither of them spoke. The quiet stretched between them, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. It was a moment of reprieve, a chance for her to catch her breath.
“Thank you…” she finally said, her voice soft and trembling.
In-ho turned to her, his expression unreadable. “It’s no problem,” he replied, his tone calm but distant. “Just doing my job as a policeman.”
The words felt foreign on his tongue, a ghost of a past he didn’t like to dwell on. But he pushed those thoughts aside. “What are you doing out here at this time anyway?” he asked, his voice softer now.
She hesitated, pulling the coat tighter around her shoulders. “I just came out to grab something from the store,” she said quietly, glancing at the convenience store behind them. “Didn’t expect to run into… that.”
In-ho nodded slowly, studying her. She avoided his gaze, her fingers nervously fidgeting with the edge of his coat. “What were you buying?” he asked, his tone casual, trying to put her at ease.
She blinked, then let out a small, embarrassed chuckle. “Just snacks. Ramyeon, chips… comfort food, I guess.”
A faint smile tugged at his lips. “Comfort food at midnight? Sounds serious.”
“It’s nothing dramatic,” she replied, shaking her head. “Just one of those nights where you need something to make it feel a little less heavy, you know?”
In-ho’s smile faded, replaced by something more contemplative. He nodded again, his gaze dropping to the half-empty bottle of soju beside him. “I get it,” he said quietly.
The silence returned, but this time it was lighter, less oppressive. After a moment, In-ho reached for the spare cup he had brought earlier, rinsing it with a splash of soju. “You drink?” he asked, breaking the quiet.
She glanced at him, surprised by the question. “Uh… sometimes.”
He tilted his head toward the bottle, the faintest trace of a smile on his lips. “Well, since you’ve already had a rough night, might as well join me. One drink won’t hurt.”
She hesitated, her gaze flickering between him and the bottle. Then, with a small nod, she said, “Sure. Why not?”
In-ho poured her a drink, the clear liquid catching the dim light as it filled the cup. He handed it to her, their fingers brushing briefly as she accepted it.
“Thanks,” she said, her voice a little steadier now.
He raised his own cup in a quiet toast, their eyes meeting for a brief moment before they drank. The burn of the soju was familiar, grounding.
For the first time that night, the gnawing loneliness in In-ho’s chest seemed to ease, replaced by the quiet comfort of shared company. There was no need for words—just the soft clink of glasses and the understanding that, sometimes, even the smallest connection could make the night feel a little less heavy.
༉‧₊˚. After three cups, In-ho quickly noticed that she wasn’t handling the alcohol too well. The slight slur in her words and the way she began to lean more heavily on the table after each sip made it clear. ༉‧₊˚. He felt so stupid inviting a girl with low alcohol tolerance to drink, but there was no backing out now. ༉‧₊˚. At first, he was concerned. The last thing he wanted was for her to feel worse because of the soju. But as the conversation continued, he began to notice something else. ༉‧₊˚. The alcohol seemed to help her relax, peeling back the careful guard she had when they first sat down. Her genuine personality emerged, warm and unfiltered, and for the first time that night, she seemed completely at ease.
“Y’know,” she said, words stretching slightly as she rested her chin in her hand, “you’re not as scary as you look.”
In-ho raised an eyebrow, amused. “Scary? Is that how you saw me?”
“Mmhm,” she hummed, nodding a little too enthusiastically. “When you came running over earlier, I thought you were gonna punch them in the face… which, by the way, would’ve been really cool.”
He laughed, shaking his head. “I’ll take that as a compliment, I guess.”
“Good, ‘cause it was meant to be one,” she replied, pointing at him with a slightly wobbly finger. “You’re like one of those grumpy cats. All intimidating on the outside but probably super soft if you get to know them.”
“That’s quite the comparison,” he said, smirking, unsure whether to be insulted or impressed.
She shrugged, leaning back in her chair, her eyes still bright. “I’m just saying what I see.”
In-ho found himself amused despite himself, the playful jab catching him off guard. “So, what else do you see?” he asked, curiosity creeping in, but keeping his tone casual.
She raised an eyebrow, considering the question for a moment, then grinned. “I think you’re the type of person who pretends not to care but secretly does. And that makes you kind of a softie.”
“Wow, that’s deep,” he said with a chuckle. “Did you come up with that all on your own?”
She nodded, looking proud. “Yep. I’m a great judge of character.”
He shook his head, clearly entertained by her. “Well, I guess I’ll take your word for it.”
She tilted her head, studying him for a moment, her smile softening. “You’re not as serious as you seem,” she said thoughtfully.
In-ho met her gaze, surprised by the shift. “Is that a compliment too?”
“Maybe,” she replied with a shrug. “But it’s true. You’ve got this whole... tough guy thing going on, but I can tell you’re not really like that.”
He let out a small laugh, leaning back in his chair. “You sure know how to read people, huh?”
She smiled, a bit smug now. “I told you, I’m good at this.”
༉‧₊˚. In-ho wasn’t the type to open up to strangers easily, but there was something about this encounter that felt different. ༉‧₊˚. Maybe it was the ease with which she joked, her humor a refreshing change from the weight of his usual silence. Her teasing nature and quick wit chipped away at the walls he usually kept firmly in place. ༉‧₊˚. She wasn’t scared of his tough exterior, and in some strange way, that made him feel… lighter. Her playful comments about him being too serious made him laugh—something he hadn’t done in a long time. ༉‧₊˚. One bottle of soju turned into two, then three, with neither of them really keeping track. The night, which had started off quiet and somber, slowly transformed. The stillness gave way to a lively energy, filled with soft laughter, comfortable silences, and warm conversation. ༉‧₊˚. As the alcohol worked its magic, the distance between them seemed to vanish. It wasn’t just the soju—there was something about her presence that made In-ho forget about the heaviness that often weighed on his mind. ༉‧₊˚. Her words were easy, her tone warm, and she spoke with such ease that it made him feel as though he could let go of all the unspoken burdens. She didn’t push him for anything, didn’t try to draw out his thoughts. She just was, and somehow that made the night feel less lonely.
“I mean, think about it,” she said, her giggles spilling out as she waved her chopsticks for emphasis. “If you weren’t a cop, you could totally be one of those broody action movie guys. You know the type—sharp jawline, mysterious aura…” She trailed off for a second, tilting her head as though she were analyzing him. “Like Lee Byung-hun!"
"You’d totally be the antihero. Do you practice glaring in the mirror, or is it just… natural?” She added, slurring a bit.
In-ho blinked, caught off guard by the question. His first instinct was to brush it off, but something about her teasing made it hard to not play along. “I do not practice glaring,” he said, his voice laced with mock indignation, though the corner of his lips twitched upward.
She leaned forward, narrowing her eyes like she was examining a specimen under a microscope. “Hmm…” she murmured, clearly unconvinced. “I don’t know… feels a little too perfect to be unpracticed. You sure you’re not rehearsing in front of the mirror at night?”
He rolled his eyes, but a laugh escaped him despite himself. “You’re impossible, you know that?” he said, shaking his head in disbelief.
She grinned, unbothered by his apparent defeat. “And yet, here you are, sharing soju with me,” she teased, tapping the rim of her cup with a smug expression as if she had just caught him in a trap. “Must be my charm.”
In-ho snorted at the playful arrogance in her voice. He looked at her—her easy smile, the glint in her eyes—and realized that, despite his usual guarded nature, he didn’t mind this. In fact, he kind of enjoyed it. “Well, I guess I couldn’t resist your charm,” he replied, the faintest smirk tugging at his lips.
“Oh, come on,” she said, feigning offense, “You’re telling me the brooding cop is actually soft under all that tough exterior? That’s a plot twist I wasn’t expecting.”
He raised an eyebrow, leaning back slightly. “What, you think I’m just some soft guy who lets anyone in?” he asked, the hint of a challenge in his voice.
Her grin widened, a mischievous spark dancing in her eyes. “Maybe,” she said, taking a dramatic pause, “but I think I’ve cracked the code.”
In-ho stared at her for a moment, half-amused, half-caught off guard. There was something about the way she didn’t hold back, how effortlessly she made him feel at ease, that got to him more than he’d like to admit.
“You think you’ve cracked it, huh?” he asked, leaning a little closer, his voice lowered slightly as if testing the waters.
“Maybe,” she said, still grinning, “But you’re not getting off that easy. I’ll need more time to figure you out.”
In-ho chuckled, a genuine sound, free of the usual tension he carried. He looked at her and, for once, didn’t feel the weight of being the brooding guy with a past to hide. She was right about one thing—she was definitely making him feel lighter.
“I think I could get used to this,” he said, raising his cup to hers in a silent toast.
She clinked it with a quick grin. “You better,” she said with a wink. “You’re stuck with me now.”
༉‧₊˚. By the time they finished their third bottle, her cheeks were flushed, and she was laughing at every little thing. Her laughter was infectious, bubbling up at the smallest of jokes or even just the awkward silence between them. ༉‧₊˚. In-ho, who wasn’t much of a drinker himself, found himself laughing along, not so much at the jokes, but at her genuine enjoyment. ༉‧₊˚. He had never been one to let loose, to be this open with anyone, but her easygoing nature was different. It was so refreshing that it caught him off guard in the best way. ༉‧₊˚. He wasn’t used to this—being around someone so unguarded, someone who could just be, without constantly second-guessing every word or action. And it made him realize how long it had been since he’d truly let go of his own reservations. ༉‧₊˚. At one point, as they were talking about something completely random, she started humming a little tune to herself. ༉‧₊˚. The notes were soft, almost silly as if the melody had just popped into her head. It wasn’t a song, just a tune she made up on the spot, and before he knew it, she started singing it aloud, her voice a little off-key but full of life.
“Do you hear that?” she said, raising an eyebrow with a playful smirk. “It’s a hit in the making. You should totally record it.”
In-ho’s lips twitched, resisting the urge to chuckle, but he let it slip out anyway. Her randomness was infectious. He wasn’t sure what was happening, but something about this moment made everything feel lighter, almost like he was seeing the world from a different angle.
He watched her for a moment, her laughter still echoing in the quiet night, and a small, genuine smile tugged at his lips.
It was rare for him to feel this easy, this unburdened. Normally, there was always something pulling at him—the weight of his responsibilities, the shadows of his past. But with her, everything seemed to fade away.
Her laughter, her carefree spirit, her utter lack of restraint—it was a stark contrast to everything he was used to, and yet, for once, it felt right. It was exactly what he needed.
“So, are we starting a band now?” he teased, leaning back in his chair, his voice light and relaxed.
She looked at him with a wink, clearly pleased with his response. “Well, you’re the tough guy with the brooding stare, so you’re definitely the lead singer,” she replied, pointing at him with a grin.
In-ho shook his head, chuckling to himself. “I’m not sure I’m cut out for singing,” he said, his voice still warm with the aftereffects of their shared drink.
She tilted her head, staring at him for a moment before speaking with a playful glint in her eye. “Oh, no. You’re definitely the lead singer. The whole ‘I don’t care, I’m too cool’ thing. It’s perfect.”
He couldn’t help but chuckle. “I’m not broody,” he protested, though the amusement in his voice betrayed him.
“You’re definitely broody,” she teased, winking at him.
In-ho gave her a smile, but when his eyes shifted to his watch, he saw it was already past 3 a.m. His face softened slightly, and he frowned as he set his cup down.
“It’s getting late,” he said, his voice quieter now as he stood up, the weight of the hour sinking in.
She groaned, leaning back in their chair dramatically, clearly not ready for the night to end. “Already? You’re no fun, Officer,” she complained, the playfulness still in her voice.
In-ho shook his head, half-amused, half-concerned. “And you’re someone who needs to get some sleep,” he replied firmly, holding out his hand. “Come on. I’ll walk you home.”
She pouted at the suggestion but took his hand anyway, stumbling slightly as they stood up. “Fine, but only because you’re being all responsible and stuff,” she said with a mock pout, though her lips were curled in a smile.
In-ho chuckled, steadying them as she swayed a little. The chemistry between them was undeniable, and for the first time in a long while, he found himself enjoying the moment—taking the time to care, to share something lighthearted, even if it was just for a brief while.
༉‧₊˚. On the walk to their apartment, their playful teasing didn’t stop. She nudged him with her shoulder every chance she got, laughing at her own exaggerated guesses about his “dark and mysterious backstory.” ༉‧₊˚. In-ho found himself relaxing more than he thought possible, their carefree energy infectious, filling the air between them with an ease he hadn’t felt in ages. ༉‧₊˚. For once, he wasn’t thinking about the weight of his past, or his responsibilities, or any of the worries that usually clouded his mind. He was just... enjoying the moment.
“So,” he said after a while, his voice light as they neared her building, “you’ve got my name, but I don’t think I ever got yours.”
She stopped in front of the door and turned to face him, giving him that mischievous grin he was beginning to recognize and love. “It’s [Lastname] [Name],” she said, her voice soft but steady, her eyes sparkling with that playful glint.
“[Name],” he repeated, the unfamiliar sound of it rolling off his tongue as if testing it for the first time. He nodded, as if committing it to memory. “I like it.”
She raised an eyebrow at him, teasing. “Yup. And don’t forget it.”
He chuckled, a low sound that felt foreign but good. “I won’t, don’t worry.”
She stepped closer, her grin widening. “Thanks for tonight, In-ho,” she said, her voice softening just a little. “You’re a good guy. Like, a really good guy.”
The compliment hit him harder than he expected, and for a brief moment, it made him uneasy. Good guy? His mind flickered back to his role as the Frontman—the games, the deaths he orchestrated, and the weight of the people he’d let down. He wasn’t sure he deserved to be called “good.”
His lips twitched into a small smile, but it wasn’t easy. He rubbed the back of his neck, fighting the warmth rising in his chest, the sense of contradiction gnawing at him. “I’m not so sure about that,” he muttered, a modest shrug masking the inner turmoil. His mind battled with the reality of who he was.
With a deep breath, he focused on her again, the playful spark in her eyes grounding him. “But… you’re welcome,” he said softly, the words coming out more genuine than he expected, despite the turmoil that lingered beneath.
Before he could say anything else, she leaned up, quick and confident, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. It was brief, just a fleeting touch of her lips, but it was enough to make his heart skip a beat. The warmth of the kiss lingered on his skin, and for a moment, he was frozen, caught completely off guard by the simple, sweet gesture.
She pulled back, smiling at him with that same playful glint. “Goodnight, Officer In-ho,” she said with a wink, her voice light and teasing, before stepping into her apartment and disappearing behind the door.
༉‧₊˚. In-ho stood there for a moment, his fingers brushing over the spot where her lips had just been as if trying to hold onto the feeling a little longer. ༉‧₊˚. A rare, genuine smile spread across his face, one that felt unfamiliar but welcome. He let out a quiet breath, feeling something shift within him—a sense of warmth, of connection, that he hadn’t realized he’d been missing. ༉‧₊˚. Turning away, he started walking back towards the direction of his apartment, his steps lighter than they’d been in a long time. ༉‧₊˚. For once, the weight in his chest felt a little less heavy, and there was a certain peace in the quiet night air. As he walked, he thought, maybe Oh Il-nam wasn’t so bad for forcing me to take a week off after all. ༉‧₊˚. With the memory of her kiss still lingering, he couldn’t help but smile again, the thought of her brightening his steps as he headed back into the night.
#wqnsho.writes#squid game#squid game x reader#squid game x you#squid game fanfic#hwang in ho x reader#in ho x reader#frontman x reader#player 001 x reader#oneshot
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Pls do Caroline Harvey HCs
with just an eeny weeny teensy tiny bit of smut plss 🙏🏾
Headcannons . CH
pairing: caroline harvey (kk harvey) x reader
warnings: a mix of fluffy content and smut, so read at your own discretion and minors and men please do NOT interact!
this is my peace offering for being so busy and slacking on writing, full length fic coming soon!!
also not spell checked, sorry!!
SFW (barely but no smut)
i feel like she’s a pretty domestic person, i think she’d prefer quiet nights at home with you as opposed to going out and partying. i imagine her being the one to beg you to stay and do date night at home anytime you suggested getting dinner or seeing a movie.
“but babe why can’t we just stay home?! we have food and plenty of movies here!” she’d whine when you asked “i’ll even make you dinner myself! come on, i jus’ want you all to myself”
on a similar note, i also think she’s not huge on PDA and that’s why she loves staying in with you so much. it’s not that she doesn’t feel comfortable being seen with you, it’s just that she’s kind of reserved and prefers to keep her personal life as private as she can. for her sake and for yours.
which has its perks, don’t get me wrong. you almost prefer it that way, subtle little touches when you’re out with friends or something like that, her hand gently resting on your lower back or her head resting on your shoulder when she gets tired. and then you’d get home, and she wouldn’t be able to help herself anymore. she’d be all over you in an instant.
“fuck,” she pants when you finally walk into your shared apartment for the night. you had been out for your mutual friends birthday, and you unintentionally intentionally decided to wear something fairly revealing “y’know what you do to me? wearing something like that?”
and believe me…she’d make up for the lack of public affection in other ways.
i’d like to think that her love language is acts of service. like she still loves to touch you and validate you and all that lovely girlfriend stuff, but she shows her love in more ways than just words.
she’d often leave you sticky notes on the fridge when you got home later than she did, maybe leave some on your nightstand when she had to leave early in the mornings when you’re still asleep. always leaving an “xoxo C” at the bottom to tell you she’s thinking of you.
not only that, but she’d do a lot of household chores for you when you were busy with school and work, run you relaxing baths when you were sick, or even something so little as running to the supermarket to grab your favorite ice cream when you started your period.
she’d be one of those stereotypical lesbians that just absolutely worships the ground their girlfriend walks on. she never fails to bring you up in conversations and is quite willing to do anything you ask.
one night you’re winding down after a long day, watching tv and painting your nails whilst caroline sits beside you to keep you company. she’s quite honestly not paying attention to what’s playing on the screen at least, rather her eyes are glued to you. she watches the way the lavender lacquer glides across your nail, how your tongue sticks out in conversation and she’s in complete awe of how beautiful you look doing the most mundane things.
��hey caroline?” you asked with a pout.
“yeah baby?” she hums in response, pretending like she wasn’t just watching you like a hawke.
“d’you think you could help me with this hand? i keep messing up”
and she’s already perching herself on the floor in front of you, pulling you into her lap as she grabs the bottle of nail polish to finish painting them.
she’s a snorer. i’m so sure of it. although i don’t think she snores like in a heavy type of way, but instead she lets out light little grumbles here and there.
i can just picture her, face pressed into the pillow, her cheek smushed against the fabric as she sleeps peacefully. her hair is all over the place and her lips are slightly parted. and then to top it all off, as if she couldn’t be any cuter, she lets out the softest snuffs.
definitely has a scrapbook, shoved somewhere deep into her closet, that her mother gifted her. it’d be filled with several baby pictures and photos/drawings from when she was in grade school, hiding it away because she was unbelievably embarrassed for you to see them.
you remembered when her family visited you both when you had finally settled into your place together, her mom bringing the scrapbook as a housing warming gift of some sorts. caroline immediately tried to tuck it away, but you were more than stubborn and demanded that you sit down and look through it.
it’s still one of your favorite memories. laughing with her parents at all the goofy pictures from when she lost her first teeth, when she won her first hockey trophy, and when she graduated high school. you even loved reading all the poems she wrote in middle school english, loved seeing all the ‘1st place” ribbons that her mom neatly taped to the card-stock pages.
you only got to look at it twice since then, kk utterly miserable whenever it was pulled out, but you cherished those pictures more than anything.
she’s probably such a dad in the sense that she pretends to not care about the cheesy reality tv shows you’re into, but then secretly starts getting hooked on it and makes you record each episode so you can watch it together.
“what do you mean lisa called meredith a ‘garbage whore’?” she gasped, running into the living room with a bowl of popcorn in her hands “wait, wait i told you to pause it! i don’t want to miss it!!”
her favorite place to kiss you is definitely your forehead. sure, she loves kissing you everywhere, but there’s something so intimate to her about small forehead kisses.
she never fails to give you one before you both fall asleep, before you leave for work, when you’re sad and need comforting or when you’re so excited and it’s her way of expressing her support. you’d probably get her kiss mark tattooed there if you could.
she often gets overwhelmed with sports and school and family and all sorts of things. she tends to be reserved with her feelings, but you’re the only person she can genuinely open up to. sometimes she comes home from practice with this look on her face, and you can immediately tell that she’s struggling.
most times she doesn’t even want to talk about it, she just wants you to hold her, run your fingers through her hair and tell her it’s all going to be okay.
and she loves to teach you new things. wether that’s teaching you how to skate, how to cook a family dish she always ate as a kid, or how play the games she learned in elementary school, she just wants you to be involved in everything she loves.
you think you love it more than she does. you’d never get over how excited she gets when you ask if you can help her make that ‘dinner she made one time��� or if she’d tell you a funny story from when she was a rebellious teen.
like that one time you were having lunch in the park one summer, sprawled out on a handmade quit atop the freshly cut grass as you laid side by side. you picked mindlessly at the dandelions beside you as you both chatted about each others day.
“you know i used to make those when i was younger?” she spoke, motioning to the flowering weeds “flower crowns, i mean”
“really?” you smiled “no one ever taught me how, i always wished i could though”
i didn’t take long before she was picking some herself and instructing you on how to tangle them together so easily. she took it as serious as she took hockey, determined to make sure you knew how to make a perfect flower crown. it wasn’t really a big deal to you in the long run, but something so important to her was just as important to you.
NSFW (for realsies this time)
getting straight to the point, i don’t think she’s huge on the strap. don’t get me wrong, you both still use it often, but i think she much prefers eating you out or scissoring.
there’s something about the appeal of physically feeling you on her that makes her crazy, a sensation that beats using the strap any day.
she loves it when you bite her or scratch her. it’s a pleasant mix between pleasure and pain and it’s probably her favorite part of intimacy.
she likes to look in the mirror the next day, just before she gets in the shower, to admire the long red marks that stretch along her back. she often teases you about too, but if you ever stop, she’s guiding your hands to her back again.
she’s not as drawn to the marks that your bites leave as much, instead she loves the feelings. when she’s making you feel so so good, so much that you can barely hold it in anymore, that you have to bite down on her shoulder or her bicep to keep yourself grounded. it’s like an ego boost to her, a sign that she fucks you so good that you can’t even function properly.
she’s cocky in bed, i feel like she’s the type to say:
“yeah baby? feels good huh?”
“come on, speak up, i can’t hear you”
or if you’re on top…
“fuck yeah, just like that, making me feel so good baby. keep going…gonna make me come”
a sucker for praise
she loves when you tell her that she’s going a good job, that’s she’s exceeding your expectations each time. she’s a bit of a perfectionist and an over achiever that way, but hey, you’re not one to complain.
whilst she loves fancy lingerie and nice dresses, she folds for you even when you’re in sweats and one of her t shirts.
“really? right now?” you huff as her hands dance up your shirt, massaging your tits roughly. she’s kissing up your neck painfully slow and you can’t help but wonder what’s gotten her so worked up “i look like shit”
“are you kidding?” she scoffs “i’d fuck the shit out of you no matter what you’re wearing, you look so sexy even in this”
i’m a firm believer (maybe this is a self insert but idc!!) that she appreciates all body types, especially a chubbier figure. like she’s absolutely obsessed with your pudgy tummy and your thick thighs, a sucker for how plush and soft your body is. don’t even get her started on those stretch marks of yours…
you’d be lying if you said you didn’t struggle with your body image often, but you never had to be insecure for long when caroline walked into your life. she seized every opportunity to make you see what she saw in you, willing to do whatever it took to prove to you that she loved your body.
“shit, look at you” she moaned, smirking as she watched you on top of her, grinding your wet pussies together. her hands gripped feverishly at your hips, often wandering down to squeeze your thighs. her hands were all over you the entire time, letting you know that she loves every inch of you “so pretty on top of me, i’ll never get sick of lookin’ at you, got it?”
#foreingersgod#lesbian#wlw#kk harvey#kk harvey x reader#caroline harvey#caroline harvey x reader#caroline harvey imagine#women’s hockey#hockey#hockey imagine#women’s hockey x reader#wcbb#wcbb x reader#caitlin clark#caitlin clark x reader#iowa wbb#kate martin x reader#kate martin#paige bueckers#paige bueckers x reader
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I gotta throw my hat into this.
I remember back in the day, close to 10 years ago, being part of one of my foundational ship fandoms and having fandom friends.
One of my friends posted a lovely little one-shot for the ship. This was during the dying days of LJ/DW groups being a hub for organizing and gathering. I was part of the IRC chats and regularly communicated with this person.
One day, they stopped talking. They deleted most of their presence online, including requesting their fic posts to be taken down. They mostly disappeared.
I found them and asked what had happened, and here's the gist of what they told me:
A group of rival ship enjoyers (this was at the start of an extensive and all-encompassing shipwar that eventually led to most of my fandom friends including myself quitting the fandom entirely) had gone through their fics and commented multiple times on several that the ship in question was 1.) bad, 2.) immoral, 3.) nonsensical, and 4.) stupid. Several commenters, ostensibly trying to be kind, said that this writer's talent was being wasted on this ship and that these fics would've been much improved if my friend would rewrite them for this rival ship instead (my friend Did Not Ship It and was very much disinterested.) The comments had started off as a trickle on that fic I mentioned at the start, and then over the course of a couple months became so unbearable that this writer wiped their presence online to escape it. They said their love of that ship had been tainted, and thinking about it gave them panic attacks. They were sorry that they'd effectively taken their ball and gone home in regard to their beloved fic, but they just couldn't take it anymore.
I was saddened by this but of course didn't hold it against them, because I am literally a lifelong bullying victim (it continues to this day IRL) and I know as well as any other weird kid who had the misfortune to grow up ostracized by my peers that the only way to stop this treatment is to cut yourself off from your tormentors.
Flaming is bullying, and if you don't want your fandom to dry up and die like an unwatered houseplant, you fucking nip that shit in the bud when you see it. Take advantage of moderation tools on sites like AO3. Be mean back. These people will have to learn by being shut out of the fun spaces and refused engagement on their nastiness. They learned in schoolyards that this is a great way to either get a response or remove an easily ignored annoyance, and frankly I'm sick of this childish behavior permeating adult spaces.
You want to behave like a tar pit in a place where people find joy and acceptance? I'm going to treat you like a tar pit. And you won't like it.
I wanna know where people have lately gotten the audacity to leave comments on fanfics talking about how much the fanfic sucked and negatively critiquing an author's fic like it's a published book review.
It pisses me off cause I've seen authors abandoned or delete their fics because of this.
You're getting fanfics for FREE! No one asked for your opinion.
I hope y'all know as authors we get email notifications when you comment so we see EVERY comment that's been left.
We also can see the negative reviews you leave when you bookmark our fics
#'oh lii you shouldn't tell people to be mean back' tough tiddies because it works#sometimes being mean is blocking and deleting their comments after telling them what a piece of shit they are#and they need to get a taste of their own cooking to learn
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Maybe it’s just me? But I just have this feeling that the second Arthur Morgan hears that you’re pregnant with his baby, he’d leave it all behind.
All of it.
Anyway, it’s not like he’s never thought of it before. The way he asked Hosea about his little time away with Bessie, the remorse he feels for Isaac and Eliza, the attention he gives for Abigail and Jack? I’m just so sure that if you’re carrying his child, it’s over for him.
He isn’t exactly sure of how it’ll work but he sure as hell ain’t repeating the cycle. Especially not when the love he had for you wasn’t born out of responsibility or necessity.
And you actually loved him in return.
Second thoughts had only costed him so much. And yet, God gave him a second chance. It was still hard for him to believe there was an entity so kind. Let alone to someone like him.
He’s good at many things, smart, strong. Dutch’s most trusted for a reason. He’d get by. He might hate the idea at first; being apart of a society that judged people like him, experiencing the unfair difficulties of the working class..
But if it meant being present for his kid, being able to protect them and give them the life that he or Isaac or Jack never got? He would. Hardship isn’t anything he’s unfamiliar with.
And oh, he would treat you in all the ways that Abigail or Eliza never let him. Put a ring on your finger, be there every step of the way, be the steadfast rock that you can lean on.
Despite the baby being an accident, he was always so sure of you.
It was no longer something he did for the better. But a real marriage, for better as well as for worse. For richer, for poorer. In sickness and in health. To love and cherish. Till death do us part.
It’s a little funny how daunting it all was at first compared to how you couldn’t be happier now. Living this struggle of a life with your baby and your husband, the outlaw who constantly had blood on his hands.
And he’ll forever thank you despite the seemingly difficult circumstances. Fatherhood and other dreams, you’ve made it come true.
His very own little family that looks at him like he put stars in the sky, that looks at him like he is a good man <3
This kinda came to me out of nowhere and I made myself cry a little lol!!!!!!! In my mind he is happy and healthy FOREVER and only dies of old age!!!
my masterlist
Thank you for reading!! 🫶🏼
#arthur morgan#arthur morgan rdr2#rdr2 arthur#rdr2#rdr2 community#rdr2 fandom#red dead redemption community#red dead redemption 2#red dead redemption two#red dead fandom#red dead redemption arthur#arthur morgan x reader#arthur morgan x you
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God, I’m just so mad and upset and I need to rant for a minute:
I live in Wisconsin, where the last several years winters here have been scarily mild. It’s not uncommon for us to have a mild winter every few years or so, but we’ve been having milder and milder winters for the past several years in a row. Winters here are supposed to be long and snowy. It’s supposed to start snowing in November, sometimes October, and the snow doesn’t melt all the way till April, sometimes early May.
Last year, I felt like we barely even had a winter. There was snow on the ground for maybe two months total, it kept melting and then coming back, which isn’t supposed to happen. The snow will maybe melt after the first couple times, but once you get to December, it’s supposed to stay on the ground until Spring.
Same thing is happening this year. It’ll snow for like two days, stick for maybe one day, and melt. It’ll stay that way for a couple of weeks. It’s January now. The fact that there’s no snow on the ground, in fucking Wisconsin, is alarming. The fact that this has been happening several years in a row now is alarming. I’m seeing it happen right in front of me. We’re all seeing the effects of climate change now, and we’re seeing how it’s directly destroying and harming the planet. We can see it with our own eyes.
I’m thinking about the fires in LA right now. I saw someone talk about how they were alarmed they were getting these kinds of winds in January. (I’m not familiar with LA climate but this person talked about how abnormal it is).
Everything the scientists have been saying about climate change is coming true. It’s happening right in front of us, for the whole world to see. And still, the people responsible, the right-wing politicians and businesspeople that profit off of this just deny deny deny. How can you deny what’s happening right in front of everyone? They are destroying our planet, and they still think they can deny it happening. It just makes me so angry. That a handful of people have the power to destroy our planet and refuse to even acknowledge it. They act like the words “climate change” is liberal propaganda. As if it’s not something we can see happening right before our eyes. They pretend it’s political, they pretend it’s a conspiracy, because they have no other way to justify being against protecting the planet.
One thing that angers me most is that the only thing people seem to do about this is complain on social media. (I know, that’s exactly what I’m doing, but hear me out). LA is burning to the ground because of climate change, and what’s anybody going to do about it? Make a post on Twitter? Maybe write an article about it?
That doesn’t change anything. We need change. We need direct action. It’s only going to get worse if we keep letting companies and governments continue as they are. They cannot continue as they are.
If you haven’t heard of the book How to Blow Up a Pipeline, go look it up. The author talks about a lot of the stuff I want to get at here, but he puts it a lot better.
My hope is that these LA fires will start a movement for stopping climate change. Not just a general shift of opinion like we’ve seen the past few years, but a real movement where people show up in person to do something. We exist in a time where Luigi Mangione is seen as a hero for his actions, I hope people will get inspired to take more direct action in regards to climate change. (That doesn’t mean shooting more people, I’m not advocating for murder, but we need to start taking action beyond just complaining on social media).
I’m going to start researching resources to help myself and others to get more involved with preventing climate change. I hope one day, we’ll have an actual winter in Wisconsin again. To everyone in LA, please please stay safe❤️
#long post#climate change#global warming#la fires#los angeles#los angeles fire#la#california#Luigi Mangione#activism#social justice#direct action#how to blow up a pipeline#sorry for the long rant#I just got this feeling of anger and terror while looking at footage of the fires#this wasn’t supposed to happen#this is the result of manufacturers fossil fuels#corporations that will destroy the whole world if it made them an extra dollar#it’s sickening#deny defend depose#delay deny depose#social activism#United States#environment#Wisconsin#winter#january
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OK OK OK FOLLOWING THE PREGNANCY STORYLINE LETS IMAGINE ISHA IS HERE A CUTE FLUFFY THING WITH EITHER ISHA MEETING THE BABY OR FINDING OUT READER IS PREGNANT AND THAT SHES GONNA BE A BIG SIS
Our family
Jinx x Fem!Reader ft. Isha (plus a little bonus with Sevika)
Fluff
A continuation from the fic „My Everything“ https://www.tumblr.com/insomniadreamzz/772011828255621120/hey-how-are-you-i-wanted-to-request-gp-jinx-x
You still remember when Isha found out she gonna be a big sister, the way her eyes were literally glowing with happiness. Isha was mute but she expressed her happiness clearly, already doing little doodles of her and her sister together with you and Jinx. The way she put her little head on your baby bump to feel her sister kick, it was just too cute.
Jinx already set up some stuff for the little one, making sure youre gonna have everything you needed when the baby will arrive and soon it happened.
You can still remember how Jinx held your hand and never left your side. Singed, the only doctor here in Zaun also made an appearance to make sure everything went well. He wasn’t used to be part of something like that very often but he was glad he could help you out in that situation. Jinx kisses on your forehead and the way she encouraged you during that hard time, it was still stuck in your head how gentle and loving she can be and then it happened. When you first heard your little one cry, both of you shed tears of happiness, feeling relieved that everything went good. It was a little girl.
When you both got back home after that, Jinx immediately ushered you to bed, figuring you must be tired as you had your newborn in your arms, Jinx never leaving your side.
„Look how cute she is…our little one…“ She cooed, holding you close as she admired your daughter, making you smile so happily. „Of course she is, she is ours.“ You mentioned, looking into your girlfriend’s eyes. „What should we name her?“ You asked and Jinx already got an idea, something that she was thinking about for a longer time now since she knew you are pregnant.
„Powder.“ Jinx said, making your eyes widen in confusion, knowing it was Jinx‘s actual name. „Powder?“ You asked, Jinx nodding in response. „Yes. I want to have a good connection to that name now. Every time I hear it I have to think about myself when I was younger and…certain things happened but I want to forget that. I want to be happy hearing the name Powder and not feel triggered anymore by that name. She will be a better Powder, not like me. I am Jinx now, Powder died in me but we can make her be a better Powder than I was.“ You heard her voice crack a little, seeing little tears running down her cheeks. This really meant a lot to Jinx, you knew it. „Then she will be Powder.“ You agreed with her, using your free hand to caress her back gently, getting back her attention towards you. „Thank you my love.“ She said before placing a little kiss on your lips.
The moment got interrupted by little footsteps, it was Isha who curiously walked up to you, Jinx shifting to make space for Isha between you both. „Isha! Come here, say hello to your little sister.“ Jinx said, letting the girl slip beside you as she looked at the little one with wide happy eyes, her small hand gently touching Powder as if welcoming her.
„Now you are a big sister. You can show her everything when she gets a little bigger, cool right?“ You said, Isha nodding at your words, feeling really happy to be a big sister now plus she was excited to have someone to play with in the future as well.
You talked a little more this evening until all of you just fell asleep. Powder on your chest and Isha sleeping between you and Jinx, all cuddled up in one bed. It was a very peaceful moment. Jinx slept for the first time very happily and calm, the voices in her head not bothering her at all. She was truly happy for the first time and she won’t let anyone destroy this happy life she had.
The next morning Sevika was on her way to Jinx’s hideout, it’s been a while since she showed up, probably hanging around in the Last Drop or doing her usual work. Sevika knew Jinx from when Silco took her with him so she felt like she had to look for her every now and then, making sure Jinx was alright.
„Jinx where the fuck are-…“ She started but stopped immediately in her tracks as she saw Jinx holding a baby while you and Isha were still sleeping cuddled up together. „Where did that baby come from?“ She asked with a raised eyebrow, not trusting this situation for now.
„That’s my daughter which came right out of my girlfriend if you want to know.“ Jinx replied with her usual sassy behavior. Sevika didn’t want to know any more details, shaking it off as she stepped closer to Jinx, having a closer look at the baby. „That’s…really yours?“ She asked again, being a little bit shocked, Jinx nodding in response. „Yep! Does auntie Sevika want to say hello to little Powder? Or are you gonna chicken out?“ Obviously Jinx had to tease Sevika but the older woman didn’t let her make her annoyed as she just nodded. Jinx helped Sevika to hold Powder with her arm, the baby looking even smaller in her strong arm. „There you go.“
Sevika stared at the baby with a unusual soft gaze. „Aw…did you just say auntie Sevika?“ She asked to be sure. „Of course! You’re the only one left who’s like a family to me after Silco died.“ Jinx became soft as she said that, thinking it was about time to speak the truth to Sevika, making the other womans eyes water a little. „Silco would be so happy and proud of you Jinx.“ Sevika mentioned, making Jinx almost cry but she held back her tears. Instead a little tear rolled down Sevika‘s cheek. „Are you crying?“ Jinx tilted her head as she gazed at Sevika who just shook her head. „No I am not.“ She said, making Jinx chuckle in response. „Damn you are a bad liar.“
And with that both started chuckling.
#x reader#fanfiction#female reader#x fem!reader#short imagine#lgbtq#arcane#arcane fanfic#jinx#jinx x fem!reader#jinx x y/n#jinx and isha#jinx arcane#jinx x reader#arcane imagine#isha arcane#x female y/n#x female reader#fluff
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@hussianphilosopher submitted: Sally - longtime lurker, first time poster, big fan. I'm perpetually amazed by how thoughtful you are about Homestuck and how well you understand it for a first-time reader (you might be surprised how many people watch Cascade and don't actually understand that the Green Sun was just created, much less immediately put together everything Doc Scratch said and did that led up to it!). The high point of the liveblog for me was the whole arc of you being confused about how predestination in Homestuck worked, because, essentially, you had already figured out that the alpha timeline existed before the alpha timeline was introduced. You were confused about the story for a while because you understood it too well, too quickly! As someone who engages with the story similarly to you, on both the character level and the deep story/analysis level, I want to make what is a pretty contrarian argument these days: that the Epilogues are A. good, and B. canon. They're a tough read for sure, but I think someone who reads the story as deeply and pays as much attention as you do will really appreciate what they're trying to do. The Epilogues were also the last time that Hussie was directly involved with the story, and I think if you read them now it's very clear that the story is the culmination of ideas he was thinking about from very early in Homestuck (He said for years before the comic finished that he planned some kind of epilogue). The whole "dubiously canon" concept was part of a failed experiment on his part to try to step away and empower the fandom - the people who actually worked on the comic in that era always treated it as canon and referred to it as such. I consider the Epilogues the final canonical chapter of Homestuck - at a bare minimum I think it should be thought of as Hussie's take on a post-Homestuck fanfic, and I think it deserves attention. Of course I also think the story is good and interesting, which a lot of people don't, so, it's all a matter of opinion, but, as someone who's been following your liveblog and respects your reading of the comic a lot, I wanted to at least throw my hat into the ring on the subject. Incredibly excited to see what you make of act 6!
I really appreciate this honest, impassioned, genuine defense of the Epilogues. It's not the only one I've been sent, either - and quite a few of the others have also cited my analytical style as a reason why I might get more out of them than I realize. I can't pretend I'm not at least a little intrigued.
I've been thinking a lot about Homestuck's tie-in material while drafting my response to this message, and after some serious consideration, I've decided that I'm going to change my planned approach to the Epilogues.
I originally planned to read it in a more casual, less analytical manner, and potentially transition to a full liveblog if and only if I'm sufficiently engaged. Instead, however, I'm going to do the opposite, respecting the faith its defenders have in it by giving it the complete liveblogger's treatment from the very beginning.
I reserve the right to transition back to a casual read if I'm not enjoying myself, of course! But, rest assured, I'll only do that after giving the Epilogues a real, good-faith college try.
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could you do jirachi if you haven’t? one of my faves! happy new year!
Jirachi is, unfortunately, a flat “no,” but for a very specific reason and just that reason, hence the asterisk on the scorecard. By all means, Jirachi would make a great friend and perhaps even pet, if it were possible to adopt them as one at all.
Before I get ahead of myself, let’s look at the plus-es. For one, Jirachi is a pretty small pokémon, fitting in perfectly in any sized home. They have an adorable and friendly demeanor, and are known to get along well with humans. And, while Jirachi is certainly no pushover, they aren’t a particularly lethal threat. Powerful Psychic-Type moves like Psychic and Future Sight are counterbalanced in the score by self-healing moves like Life Dew, Healing Wish, and Rest. This pokémon has a keen sense of danger, and will protect themselves if threatened (Ruby), but so long as you don’t pose a threat to them you should be safe from an attack.
Now, I could go into more detail about risk of misinterpretation of threats, as I have in the past for other species, but really everything in the prior paragraph is rendered moot by one key detail: this pokémon is said to only be conscious for seven days out of every thousand years (Sapphire, FireRed/LeafGreen)! Now, unless you are an immortal being, this is going to pet the whole pet conversation to rest immediately. While asleep, Jirachi surrounds themself with a “tough, crystalline shell” (Emerald), so forming any sort of long-term bond with them just isn’t happening. I suppose you could take custody of their sleeping form and protect it, but that would be a multi-generational commitment that, quite frankly, isn’t very responsible.
If you do happen to be around when Jirachi wakes, that’s great! If you have left a wish written on a note and attached it to their head while they slept, its said that they will use their mysterious powers to make any of these wishes come true (Ruby, Sapphire). That sounds pretty awesome! Unfortunately, though, this blog isn’t about whether pokémon are awesome, it’s about whether they would make a good pet. Adopting Jirachi as a pet just isn’t worth the multi-generational headache.
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Blessed by a Trickster
Chapter Nineteen: I'm currently going through ChArAcTeR dEvElOpMeNt
Prev/Next
A/N: Y'all I swear we're getting somewhere!
Warnings: None...?
Word Count: 900
You raised a hand as both men turned their heads toward you, mouths open to defend themselves.
Fury glittered in your eyes, silencing them more than the motion. Your perfect hair was getting tossed around in the wind, but never flying into your vision.
“Eurylochus,” you said, voice even icier than your eyes. “Get off of him.”
He wrinkled his nose as he removed his foot from the other man’s chest. Belerphius scrambled away and the wind picked up, seeming to follow the direction of your anger.
“What were you thinking?” You shouted over the roaring of the waves crashing against the ship.
“I wasn’t thinking!” Eurylochus yelled back, coming closer so that he wouldn’t have to raise his voice.
You glared up at him, briefly annoyed by how much taller he was compared to you. “I can take care of myself!”
“I don’t doubt that,” Eurylochus snapped. He looked away, trying to contain his anger. “It’s just that…”
“It’s just what?” You asked sharply. No response.
You sighed as all rage seemed to leave your quivering body. “It’s alright, Eurylochus,” you said. “I know what Belerphius said; Odysseus told me. It’s- we just can’t be fighting about something so… unimportant.”
Eurylochus’s gaze snapped back to you, your words causing all of his anger to resurface. “What?” He demanded. “Have you looked at yourself lately? You’re gorgeous, Y/N! And imagine how you had already looked beforehand- it was all I could do just to keep their hands off of you!”
You couldn’t seem to decide which emotion to favor; confusion, anger, and maybe a bit of sadness flitted across your face. “Eurylochus-”
He studied the floorboards, face a dark crimson. “I think we should both-”
The second in command was cut off by a crewmate yelling for Odysseus. You sprinted to the stairs, feeling Eurylochus’s gaze burning into your back the whole time.
“Odysseus!” You shouted. “Captain! They need you above deck!”
Odysseus’s door flew open, and the man came running out, leaving the door open behind him. You closed it with one foot before hurrying after Odysseus.
“Captain!”
You turned your head, gaze softening as you saw Polites rushing toward you. “Captain, there’s an island nearby!”
“Show me,” Odysseus ordered.
Polites scurried over to the helm of the ship, you and Odysseus tagging along close behind.
You gasped, the sound going unheard in the heat of the storm. It wasn’t what you would call an island- it was a rocky, gray strip of land, looking as if it had been put there purely out of spite, to lure sailors to their doom.
You jolted back, a memory filling your head. You could only watch as a vision that wasn’t yours flashed before your eyes.
“What-” You mumbled, pressing your hands to your forehead.
“Y/N?” You heard Polites ask, but it sounded as if he were far away. Hadn’t he been right next to you? Why was the world suddenly spinning?
A sweet melody filled your ears.
“Kiss me on the mouth and love me like a sailor…”
You blinked, eyes glazed over as you started toward the helm of the ship.
Looking out, you saw that you were docked on the strange island, only this time, it was covered with green grass and rich with trees and animals.
Your attention snapped back to the beautiful woman in the water before you. “And when you get a taste can you tell me what’s my flavour?...”
Your eyes flew open, the floorboards hard beneath your back. A collection of blurry faces stood peering down at you, concern etched upon their faces. You recognized Odysseus, Eurylochus, and Polites.
“What?” You mumbled, scrambling to prop yourself onto your elbows.
“What?” Polites echoed, looking even more confused than you.
Odysseus crouched down by your side. “You just… fainted.” He studied you as if you were some foreign language he couldn’t understand. “Y/N, has this happened before?”
Eurylochus offered you a hand, and you gratefully accepted. Your fingers seemed so much more delicate when you placed them on his.
“No,” you said, shaking your head. You dusted off your trousers, not glancing away from Odysseus for a single moment. “Captain, I think you’ll be needing an explanation, though.”
He raised an eyebrow, motioning for you to continue.
“There are sirens in this part of the sea.” You finally broke eye contact to stare at the murky water with unease.
“Sirens?” Odysseus questioned sharply. “Are you sure? How do you know?”
“I- er… I kinda had a vision?”
“What?” Polites and Eurylochus demanded at the same time, even taking a step forward in unison. You shuffled back nervously, rubbing the back of your neck.
“I think I was some sailor who got murdered by the sirens a while back,” you explained. “It was… weird, to say the least. I saw myself getting lured into the water by a beautiful woman’s singing.” You looked at Odysseus, eyes tired. “So now we have evil, monstrous, yet gorgeous women with gorgeous voices to deal with. Plus, they want to eat us.” You ran a hand down your face as a sigh escaped your lips. “Why am I actually not surprised?”
Polites gave you a pitying look, while Odysseus put a fist into the palm of his opposite hand.
“Alright,” he whispered, gaze flickering over the three of you. “Here’s the plan.”
Taglist: @barrythestrawberry041 @thereigningking @m-carriaga2021 @jackintheboxs-world @fallenh34art @itzkingbo @sabrina-senpai @smartiepants217 @doodle-with-rhy @trashcannotbealive @uselessmoonlight @permanently-nothere
#epic musical#epic the musical#blessed by a trickster#polites#polites x reader#epic fandom#epic odysseus#epic the musical x reader#eurylochus#eurylocus x reader#jorge rivera herrans#hermes x reader#odysseus
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A little while back you made a Vaggie headcanon post, and I was wondering if you’d be interested in doing the same for your Charlie. I think she just looks the coolest in your style, and I’d love to hear everything you have to say about her, if you’d want to, of course.
actually, i realy like this idea. honestly, i wanted to make such post myself, just when i posted about vaggie, but charlie is like, far from my favorite, and i was like "meh", but when you asked and why not? if you're intrested, sure!
so, have some of my thoughts
- Fluffy girl. She has a goat coat. And goat-like features in general - hooves, ears, horns, tail.
- She’s a top. fight me.
- She has also a sweet tooth. You know that huge ass milka? I bet she and Vaggie eat that in one row
- Low self esteem and absolutely awful abandonment issues
- Her blood is deep red with beautiful little streams of gold. Her father’s legacy. Truly unique
- Charlie grew up locked in the mansion, far away from the awful life of sinners in the circle of Pride. "The Princess trapped in the tower"
- When Lilith disappeared, Charlie and Lucifer's relationship has deteriorated dramatically, Charlie moved into a Hotel. And so, with the beginning of a free, independent life, she had the opportunity to get to know her people better - to help them
- But expectations are not always met. People are... complicated. And sinners are even more complicated and contradictory. Her help turned against her
- For the first year, Charlie hated sinners. Ungrateful, disgusting bastards who only care about themselves. "You were right, Mother, Father. I hate them. I hate them. I hate them!”. She was ready to give up everything, fall on her knees in front of Lucifer, beg for forgiveness, beg that he would allow her to return to the palace
- One year she hated… The second… She observed. Why are they like that? What motivates them? What are they capable of? Can those broken souls be redeemed?
- In the third year, she stumbled upon a sinner. A sinner who showed her that maybe this stupid, immature idea of redemption was real. A sinner who, in response to salvation, offered Charlie her unwavering loyalty, her support, and eventually… her love
#art#fan art#hazbin hotel#charlie morningstar#chaggie#implied#hazbin hotel headcanons#sorry this answer took so long#some of this headcanons are mine#some of it belongs to the fandom#'i dont like charlie' i say#and then i write more about her#than about vaggie#she might be ooc btw i just dont care about canon at this point
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your art is genuinely cute and hot but you shouldn't treat your followers like that, man. responding everyone like everything is so obvious isn't the way you should treat the people who love you and your work.
maybe if you did a less confusing pinned post you wouldn't be that stressed out about people asking you things for the billionth time and getting your blog pixelated, just a tip.
I see your point, and I’m definitely working on being less reactionary when people don’t read the rules and all, and I totally recognize in the past my response has been frequently disproportionate
But really, here’s the thing. I post art online for fun. Yes it’s my job, but it’s also something I do because it’s fun. I had requests open near constantly for like an entire year, and that’s a service, you know? I said ‘hey, I’ll draw something for you guys for free, and the only rule is to read my clearly marked rules page’
And then they didn’t read the clearly marked rules page. And continued to not read the clearly marked rules page and that feels like. Really shitty! When people send in asks that go against my rules, I feel sad and disappointed that people didn’t at least check them before sending in an ask.
And then, after months of people doing that, and dozens of deleted rules breaking asks stacking up and people are still not listening to me, then it’s easy to have animosity to people who just genuinely didn’t get the memo. I like to consider myself a pretty patient guy, but you’d be as irked as I am if someone repeatedly prodded you on a topic you didn’t feel like talking about.
I feel bad for alienating people from my page but man you can’t come here and order sushi from my sandwich restaurant and then get an attitude when I get upset because you might not know it, but like the last 8 people in line before you all also asked for sushi from my sandwich restaurant and every single one left pissed off because I DIDNT HAVE SUSHI. WHEN I ADVERTISED THE FACT I DIDNT HAVE SUSHI. AND THEN SOME PEOPLE TRY TO ARGUE WITH ME ABOUT WHY I DONT SERVE SUSHI AND WHY I SHOULD SERVE IT.
Like to them, what they see is ‘I sent in an innocent ask one time and he blew up on me’. But what I see is ‘oh that’s the 12th tfp ask I’ve gotten this week and it’s only Wednesday, I’ve had enough, everyone leave me alone’ and yeah, it’s a bit immature of me, and I’m working on that
Going into this year I’m not gonna do the whole litany or explanation or anything like that, I’m just going to start deleting stuff more regularly, but I hope that explaining my side of things helps you understand my way of thinking.
And for the record, I don’t think my pinned post is that confusing. I made all the important links colour coded and a bigger font, it’s not that hard to find my rules.
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Hi!
I've been participating in the hypnosis world for about a year only as a subject, with somebody's audio files I've grown to enjoy. Being relatively... intelligent? (ADHD former "gifted kid" stereotype,) I've loved the way it can be so calming to my head which often has thoughts racing left and right with no end.
Your latest post about being a wizard with tomes piqued my interest and I would love to learn more and be one myself, especially in regards to Erickson who I had no knowledge of prior to today. Where would you recommend I start...? I would love to DM you and chat if the response would otherwise be too vague and long to be a reply to anon :)
Excellent to hear! I’ll give you some recommended reading and info. (And thanks for asking in my inbox, because this may help others!)
Milton Erickson was a hypnotherapist active in the 1900s who helped shape the form of modern hypnosis. There are many mythology-type stories about him. He really pioneered non-authoritative hypnosis (like, not “You will go into trance now!”), and hypnosis where he considered each client individually in order to figure out the best hypnotic method for them (this is the most critical thing and we still need to learn from it IMO). He’s known for some distinct techniques including storytelling and indirect language, although how those work and what they are depends on who you ask. He was a major inspiration for Neuro-Linguistic Programming, which takes inspiration from him but really changes a lot.
If you are just starting to learn how to hypnotize another person, I would not recommend STARTING with Erickson’s direct works (I mean feel free to read about the guy, just don't try to fight through his writing yet) -- but I don’t think you have to wait too long, especially if you have some experience as a subject. I would highly recommend reading a VARIETY of “intro to erotic hypnosis” guides -- there are a bunch, and as you’ll see, everyone teaches them differently. That’s because there are MANY ways of looking at how to do hypnosis and what it even is. Keep that in mind as you explore. I would like to offer my own guide: https://www.learnhypnokink.com/ in which I do try to teach a more overarching perspective that should be useful for learning other perspectives, and especially useful for progressing past beginner level.
Reading is great and if you only ever want to read that is fine, but a lot comes from experience, too. I don’t have recommendations for finding people to play with -- just remember that as a hypnotist, you have boundaries too, and you do not have to let yourself be used as a “trance vending machine” by eager subjects.
In terms of Erickson, take a look at his Wikipedia page or articles about him to get the gist of his character and history -- fascinating stories about him. And then when you want to try, read “Hypnotic Realities”, by him and his student Ernst Rossi. This is THE definitive Erickson book. I would not recommend reading books ABOUT "Ericksonian hypnosis" first -- anything talking ABOUT Erickson really tends to transform the meat of what he's trying to communicate IMO. Read from the source first. “Hypnotic Realities” is the greatest book on hypnosis of all time in my opinion, but it’s dense and challenging. It’s also beautifully subtle and you should plan to reread it ever so often because you will get new things out of it at different places along your journey.
Good luck! I hope this helps you and anyone else curious!
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Oh 100% Itachi is a parental figure to Sasuke. And you don’t even have to look at Itachi to see it.
Sasuke treats him more like a father sometimes than a brother. Especially given the overall narrative that this series usually establishes about father-son relationships, which to be fair are also reflected a bit in teacher-student dynamics but nowhere near as much.
And that narrative overall is not unique to Naruto but is a rather typical shonen trope thing about having a goal to supersede your father, to best him at his own game, or to otherwise surpass him. (This is a deeply cultural thing in Japan…but I am not going there today).
And while occasionally brothers do stand in for this as ordinary brothers, usually if a sibling, trope wise, has to step into the “you must live to surpass me” role, it’s because they’re narratively a paternal figure.
And like I said, Sasuke’s got all the clues here. He:
Is always looking for Itachi’s attention, be it positive or negative
Obeys his brother without even thinking about doing otherwise even long after the massacre*
Pre massacre, he’s clingy and needy towards Itachi because his father won’t give him the time of day, but also because canonically that’s just how he’s always been. Sometimes babies really do pick their parents. (I’ve been in that situation, sort of, otherwise I’d of said it seemed unrealistic. But no, sometimes a little baby just says “no, YOU get to be my mom!” And there’s really nothing you can do 🤷♀️ this happened twice, with my niece AND grand nephew.)
Sasuke is always striving to best his brother, even after the massacre, like when he was training with the Kunai, trying to beat Itachi’s record. Yeah that’s a typical sibling thing, but in the bigger context, like after Itachi’s death when Sasuke is once again trying to out-do him, it feels more shonen-trope-fatherly to me. (Though I will concede that I only really watch Shonen that leans in the general direction of Seinen, which is to say more mature themes that twist the typical Shonen narrative; Naruto both is and isn’t an exception to this. Point is I’m biased lol)
* in reference to two:
There is one poignant scene in which Sasuke doesn’t kill Naruto explicitly because he doesn’t want to do what Itachi tells him to anymore. He then semi reneges on this later and decides that severing the bond is more important— he’s still technically not doing it for the reasons Itachi said, but he has changed his mind all the same.
After Itachi dies, Sasuke decides to go counter to his brother’s wishes, but he’s ultimately still doing what he thinks Itachi wants…sort of.
Now, before I go here, I want to say that this is entirely my interpretation, and you’re free to disagree.
But when Itachi tells Sasuke to hate him more, that he’ll only get stronger if he harbors more hate…a lot of Itachi haters take him literally here, and/or are very confused by it. But in my mind, what Itachi is actually saying as a deeply traumatized 18 year old with limited life experience who has just come back to the place that started it all and probably isn’t in a great place is:
I want you to hate me as much as I hate myself.
And, in particular reference to the “you’re weak if you can’t hate with all your heart” thing (I don’t have the panels on hand) :
I want you to throw away or erase everything you ever cared about just like I did.
As someone who has dealt with severely angry and angsty teens before, this is the message I heard. He wasn’t really goading Sasuke on, insofar as he was looking for someone to commiserate with. And nobody else but Sasuke would genuinely understand. I don’t think it was a planned response, personally— Itachi wasn’t looking for Sasuke, and didn’t appear to know that Naruto was his teammate. So my bets are on that being an impulsive reaction to a stressful situation and Itachi trying really hard to put a wall between them while inadvertently pleading for closeness.
But the point is that Sasuke heard what he meant, not what he said. Because he knows his brother. And Sasuke did exactly that — threw away everything, just like Itachi, severed his bonds, just like Itachi, became a rogue, just like Itachi, etc.
You could very well argue that Sasuke just went and did that if his own accord trying to feel closer to Itachi, which I would completely believe. But either way it’s far more son-father than brother-brother in its dynamic. Don’t get me wrong they absolutely have their bro moments, like when Sasuke is chasing Edo tensei Itachi down and calling him a big fat liar essentially, and being a complete child while Itachi basically rolls his eyes at the Drama 🤣 it’s both funny and sad.
But overall there is certainly a sense of paternalism in their relationship. But it’s not solely defined by Itachi, which makes me wonder how anyone ever missed it.
Ever since @shinoposting made a post about Itachi being a more parental figure to Sasuke a couple of months ago, I've seen several angry responses to it, with the sentiment that "Itachi fans want to make Itachi look good and their parents look bad."
Listen.
A five-year-end boy is left alone on the night of the kyuubi attack with his toddler brother.
He doesn't even seem disconcerted, but instead promises "I'll always protect you, no matter what."
Itachi is the one who sits with him, despite his busy schedule, despite grieving Shisui, and despite being burdened with what's more than he could handle, he took time to check on Sasuke's report card.
Itachi was also ready to abandon his first Anbu mission for Sasuke's sake. It was after this their father even recalls he had to go to the Academy.
Itachi "ignored" Sasuke. And, like, what do people even expect from someone who's been this much burdened that isolating himself is the only thing he can do to protect Sasuke and his innocence?
Yet, Itachi doesn't know exactly how not to be distant. That's a sign of how much he was suffering at this point. He was "bad" after the massacre, but before that, he was kind and sweet, who cared about nothing but Sasuke's wellbeing.
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I tried to explain to myself some of Marius's actions towards Armand, and I ended up with a lengthy post in which I want to express my perspective on the dynamics of Marius's relationships with Lestat and Armand. I want to emphasize that this is not how I personally view these characters, but rather how I see Marius's perspective on them.
It will be no secret that in Lestat's and Armand's lives, Marius occupies the role of a mentor, teacher, wise advisor, and serves as a father figure for both of them.
If we consider their relationships as familial, in this hierarchy, not by age but by position, Lestat would be the older child, upon whom Marius places his main expectations, ambitions, and hopes. Lestat is a reflection of Marius himself, the heir to his values and ideas. They are soulmates, sharing views on life and understanding each other well. This forms the foundation of their love and mutual respect. Respect is particularly important here because, despite the fact that Lestat creates just as many problems and chaos as Armand (honestly, even more) Marius sees him as an independent individual. He considers him an equal.
In contrast to Lestat, Armand is complicated and incomprehensible to Marius. He occupies the position of the stereotypical younger child, someone Marius expects nothing from and places no hopes on. He loves Armand simply for existing, even if that existence is not right beside him. However, Armand pays for the lack of burdensome expectations with the fact that he is not treated as an adult independent person. Marius does not believe that Armand is mature enough to live without the interventions of a true adult (Marius) in his life.
Does Marius consider Armand his equal? My honest answer to that is no. You have every right to disagree with this. Marius is convinced that he not only has the full right to make important decisions regarding Armand's life and to scold him like a child, but he believes that Armand needs this.
So how do Armand and Lestat differ in their positions? In absolutely every way. Lestat was initially a free person, he already had a formed personality and he already had a true maker. He found Marius on his own initiative and chose Marius as his authority.
Armand in turn belonged to Marius in the most direct and barbaric sense. Even if Marius did not consider him literal property, that was the factual status of Armand in palazzo. The difference in position and status is obvious.
Furthermore, what is most important is that Armand hardly remembered his life before the brothel. Armand was a blank slate. His new identity was built on mentorship and guidance from his master. Marius replaced parents, teachers, and other possible authority figures. This is more significant than Marius's involvement in the life of any other boy from the palazzo because they had a past, possibly families, and they knew their identities. In Amadeo's life, Marius is the foundation of his new personality.
And perhaps most obviously, but no less significantly, Armand is Marius's fledgling, his dark child.
I’ve seen a lot of angry discussions about why Marius believes he has the right to make decisions for Armand. I agree with this perspective, I think he genuinely believes he has rights over Armand due to all the aforementioned circumstances (not because of the fact that he bought him, but because of the immense influence he has had on his personality and his status as Armand's maker). I see an analogy here with parents who struggle to accept their children’s adulthood, they want to do what’s best, but it often backfires.
But at the same time, Marius is willing to take responsibility (finally 🤐). He takes Daniel under his wing not because he feels pity for some half-mad newly turned vampire, but because it’s a failure his own fledgling. Rights and responsibilities cannot exist without each other. Perhaps in this way, he is trying to atone for his actions (or lack thereof) towards Armand, maybe to redeem himself as master and maker. But I doubt Marius will ever be able to admit this, even to himself.
Armand finds it difficult to break the established opinion about him. Throughout the series of books, there has been a constant tension between them, which sometimes escalated into open conflict.
Armand would lose his temper when referred to as a child, he fought for the right to be considered an adult, as he had indeed gone through his own journey and made significant progress. Unfortunately for him, Marius is not a psychology guru. The differences in their views, life rules, and temperaments are perceived by Marius as misconceptions and immaturity, while Armand's adherence to religious beliefs is seen as a sign of suggestibility and an inability to make his own decisions. To be honest, I think there is some rational basis in this. The occasional emotional outbursts and impulsive actions, but most of all Armand's walked out into the sun, only reinforce Marius's opinion that Armand cannot handle his life on his own.
Let's wish Armand success in being perceived as an adult! 🌠
Origin: Cryptid Club
#My english skills weren't enough for such a lengthy post#so if it looks strange#I apologize#My only assistants were google translate and forums 😬#Marius de Romanus#Armand#Lestat de Lioncourt#Armand/Marius#Marius/Lestat#Armand/Marius/Lestat#Marius/Armand#Iwtv#Anne Rice#The Vampire Chronicles#Book iwtv#vc meta
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— ¿How the heck did Red and Zim start having their first feelings for each other? I'm intrigued.
I didn't want to answer your question earlier 'cause I was determined to write a whole bible about how RaZR works in my AU, but I was also hesitating because I always get embarrased whenever I talk about my otps in general.
I was also still discussing with myself if I should put this ship in the story or not, because I know about certain people not being confortable with ships in this AU and because I don't want my AU to be involved with people who just follows the story only 'cause their fav ship is there. I already had a bad experience with those kind of people with another fandom.
But at the same time; RaZR might not be a rare ship, but a quite underrated one that doesn't have a lot of content to dig in comparing it with other big ships that we already know. Also, when I said that I don't want shipping involved in my AU, I was specifically referring to ZaDR. Despite I like it, it is STUPIDLY overrated, to the point that it gets a little exhausting to see it everywhere in the fandom... So idk, RaZR wouldn't be much of a big trouble in my AU, and it's not like it's gonna be the main thing in the story.
BUT YEAH, About your question:
In my AU, Zim already had a crush on Red since they saw each other again by iniciating Elite training together. However, his feelings were mostly involved by this idealized image of Red being this "infallible", "exemplary", "perfect" soldier. You know: things that Zim wished to be. Thus becoming the reason why Zim always have seeked his approval.
On the other hand, Red was aware of this weird fixation Zim had on him, which was obviously very annoying. Despite this, Red never truly hated him; In fact, he always felt a little pity for the defective lil bug. Red also learned to deal with Zim's destructive shenanigans by taking advantage of that weakness he had over Red. However, this kind of manipulative dynamic made Red accidentally more tolerant and permissive with Zim, behavior that followed Red even after becoming a Tallest.
Then, AU shit happens. Zim has his own development arc with Dib on their adventures in space, but Red also has his own development arc with a number of situations; such as the coming of his adulthood, his responsibilities as a leader, memories of his abusive past becoming relevant in his life again, etc. Both Zim and Red don't see each other again until the events of Arc 4.
At this point, many years have passed and both have changed a lot. And the fact that Red and Purple have no power over Zim makes their dynamics change drastically.
The role reversal made it so that they could see each other as equals. Neither Zim nor Red are trying to like each other, so they both interact as how they truly are. Sure there is tension and hostility between them sometimes, but as they can act as themselves, they start to feel strangely comfortable with each other. And as suddenly as it starts, the curiosity to see how far one can go with the other causes the bickering and teasing to accidentally turn into a very strange and very Irken form of.... flirting??! The funny thing is that neither of them are aware of this until there is no turning back.
But there's something else that's even more relevant about Zim and Red's dynamic: There's a point in the plot where both of them are forced to show their most vulnerable side. With Zim, there's the whole trauma thing that he still carries around and that reaches a limit where he can no longer hide; on Red's part, due to a slip of his own, he was forced to tell Zim about the abusive past he had with Miyuki and how it has affected him in several aspects of his life, including his relationship with Purple. By uncovering their most vulnerable side, both of them maintain a silent truce that turns into mutual respect. Slowly and gradually, both of them start to feel comfortable to vent and share things that they haven't told to anyone, not even their loved ones (Purple and Dib respectively).
It's all a veeeery long process of understanding and trust that is slowly forming and needs some pushes to become stronger. It's very similar to what Zim and Dib had to do to form their friendship, except that Red and Zim feelings are growing beyond to just friendship.
However; even though it's clear that something is changing between these two, they both feel conflicted by these new feelings.
As for Red, he has never experienced romantic feelings before and doesn't know how to act in certain circumstances. This is all new to him and therefore he can't discern whether he is truly falling in love or if he is misinterpreting his feelings. Not to mention that these types of relationships are completely punished by the Irken Empire.
With Zim, he believed that he no longer had feelings for Red and that it would stay that way now that he discovered his true colors. Instead, Zim went from a childhood crush to being genuinely and hopelessly in love with him. However, he can't trust Red's intentions. In fact, he hates that despite all the awful things Red had done to him, he is still madly in love. Zim knows that Red had and will always have control over him, because deep down he has always wanted for Red to want him, and it seems like it will always be that way.
But, despite still being conflicted about his feelings, Red knows that he has stopped seeing Zim in the same way and that he even feels guilty about the things he has done, and he admits that he shouldn't reciprocate Zim's feelings, not because he doesn't want to, but because he knows he doesn't deserve it.
They go through a lot of tense moments and trust issues, but they will eventually talk it out and correspond each other. Not in a conventional way, though. They are still not sure about what they are or should be (although they are already doing what lovers do). Neither of them dares to make it completely official; because deep down they know that sooner or later the day will come when they will both have to go on separate ways, perhaps never to see each other again.
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