#get off your high fucking horse and buy us better stuff then

[softness-and-shattering]

If we're talking a out resale value yeah a lot of craft is crap. But thats not the point of it. The point is we are people and we like to make stuff. I worry that by saying "raw materials are worth more than what people make from it", people will be discouraged from making things.

We at the end of the chain of production are not individually responsible for all the exploitation going on, we benefit from it, but we cant just decide to stop it, we dont have that power.

I dont make things to add economic value. I make things because I like making things. It would be more wasteful to me to never make anything in case I devalue the materials, what bullshit way of thinking is that? And yeah Im not making immaculate high quality anything because I dont have that level of skill or speed, and that doesnt matter to me.

What are we alive for if not to look after each other and make things? To express ourselves and convey what we can of our human experience.

I could withdraw from all unethical consumptiom, by doing so kill myself, and it wouldnt make any difference whatsoever to all the people being exploited. I dont want them to be exploited of course, and theres also nothing I can do about it, and avoiding creating, using materials, would only increase my misery and add nothing useful to the world.

Im so tired of all these posts trying to guilt us into not using resources, not needing resources, as if we can make a difference individually to the global supply train, as if we all have money to throw at slow fashion - which "isnt even slow anymore" - at more ethical fashion, as if if we never ever enjoy anything about our lives or value anything we do or anything we need, that might stop the exploitation.

Misery does not improve anything for anyone. It makes everything worse. It makes us less resilient. Is not the rent we pay to live under capitalism like if you say enough hail marys youre absolved from the harm caused by your life that is not your fault.

Youre allowed to enjoy life. Youre allowed to enjoy making things. There is value in expressing yourself through the cheapest plastickest materials available just as there is with the sheep you sheared yourself and grass fed from the moment it was born. There is value in your life and your existence.

Of course exploitation is awful and everyone should be paid a good living wage whoever and wherever they are. We dont live in a perfect world. If youre reading this and youre a ceo or a supplier or someone with the power to make a change to the system, do it. Everyone else, carry on. Also watch The Good Place. Youre not obligated to be miserable to 'make up for' whatever scraps of privilege you have, thats absurd. Dont be afraid to use materials. Life is for living, things are for using, materials are for transforming. If its sits on your shelf forever than its just a decorative ball of yarn. If you make something with it, thats *yours* and no one can take it from you. Who cares if its crap, its your crap and im proud of you for making it. I hope it brought intrinsic value to you. I hopr you had fun and or learned something and or had relaxation/catharsis in the process. Not everything is about the end product.

I feel like something that doesnt get talked about enough is how fast fashion is coming to hobbies as well. Sure, you can sew, knit, and crochet something better than youd buy in store, but good luck finding quality materials

Want a fabric that doesnt fray from being gently caressed? Want yarn thats not 100% plastic and splits if you touch it wrong? Good luck finding that if you dont have a genuinely good crafts store near you.

Go on any thread where people are trying to figure out where to buy fabric. 50% of it is people saying big stores are servicable, online stores work, or the like, and the other 50% are talking about how bad the quality is or how the quality of a website dropped because it was bought out

Were running into a problem where fast fashiob is so integrated into society that even the ability to make your own, comfortable and long lasting, clothes is being threatened by capitalism

[buckyalpine]

Here is a list of things that make me mad in no particular order. Angry ranting. Pls ignore this, I'm just screaming into the void. These example apply to very specific situations I've encountered with people who are perfectly capable of doing better.

People who lack common sense. Social awareness. Common courtesy. Saying "Oh my God, I'd never do that" when they've never been even close to said situation but they're now experts on how they'd act while sitting on their pristine Thoroughbred horse, sipping on English tea with their pink so high it may as well be in their nose.

People who say "Well I wouldn't care if it happened to me" or "I'm just being honest" when you point out something they did/said.

When autocorrect/spellcheck decides it cannot for the life of it figure out what you're trying to spell OR it gives you suggestions for every word under the sun except the one you want. All you did was leave out a single letter with the rest of it spelled perfectly and spellcheck decides to go into a coma. So you fix the mistake and the little squiggly red line goes away. Fuck you.

Gnats. WTF is you're problem. I've Googled this shit cause I want to know why tf you can't just fly straight, why do you have to buzz all over the damn place near my head of all places.

Flies. Same thing as above. Why tf can't you just fly straight. WHY NEAR MY EAR. You have the entire world and you decided my room is the place to be? And now we're both miserable because you keep hitting yourself against the window after noticing your grave mistake. I leave the door wide open but you want to keep body slamming the glass.

Giving me life advice on something you know nothing about.

People who don't love their pets. Yeah, you take care of them but you do it as a chore and then complain about it. Those little fur babies deserve it all, give them the best or don't have pets at all.

Holier than thou attitude.

People who laugh at those who are visibly upset and tell them they're being too sensitive.

Allergies. IDK Why tf my body acts surprised as hell every single spring. It's just fucking pollen. Why are you trying to fight it. Do you understand that in your brilliant plan to try and fight the little evaders you actually make me want to end it all because my nose is itching and my eyes are watering and I can't breathe. Food allergies are another level of bullshit. I'll never forget the day this one girl tells me she wished she had allergies? Like it makes you special, mf what??? She was being serious too.

Thin, straight, fine black hair. Can't do anything with it. It doesn't hold hairstyles, doesn't curly, gets heavy as soon as you use any product and 90% of the time it just looks like Snape cosplay. Ask me how I know

Parents who buy their very young children shoes with laces. This is inconvenient for all of us. why tf would you do this when Velcro exists. Your 4 year old doesn't need laces when they have no clue how to even eat cheese with their crackers, mf why did you buy this shoe for them?!

Bananas. Hate them with a burning passion. The smell. The texture. I hate the peel is left out and about like it isn't making the entire room smell. Don't even get me started on banana breath. (Keep in mind this is not me saying I think they're gross. I wish I liked them because they're a super convenient snack and very healthy)

People who lie and say you can't taste the banana in a smoothie. Yes, I can. You always can. You can have 1000lbs of any fruits and that single banana will still stand out.

People who don't understand mental illness/ act ignorantly to those suffering.

Big companies who ask you to donate to stuff. You're going to use this as a tax write off, stfu.

Inflation.

People who laugh at others for not knowing something. Maybe that thing had 0 relevance to their life. Maybe they learned about that because they were taught something else. Either way, how is it funny.

People who laugh at those learning a new language. You're the fucking worst. They are LEARNING. Let them get used to the pronunciation, let them get accustomed to sentence structures, let them make mistakes without being embarrassed. You're the embarrassing one cackling you're damn ass off while they're trying to do something new. You're discouraging them from wanting to continue because you feel the need to be an asshole.

People who make everything a serious debate/conversation.

People who steal. Not out of necessity but just because they can. I'll never forget overhearing this group of kids in my high school bragging and laughing their asses off over how much candy they stole from other kids. They also stole phones. These were not troubled kids mind you, they were doing this for shits and giggles.

Eczema. So fucking itchy, why can't skin just act right. It feels awful, looks awful and just comes and goes as it pleases.

People who clown you for who you find attractive. Why. If I find this person attractive, what in the ever loving flying fuck does it have to do with you. It's just so unnecessarily rude. I don't even get how its funny or why you find it okay to call someone ugly as if this is something they personally have control over.

I'm going to add more to this list.

[justagalwhowrites]

Yearling - Ch. 1: Break

A night out takes a turn. The first chapter of Yearling, a TLOU fan fiction. Find the Masterlist here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: Canon-typical violence. No use of Y/N. Minors DNI, 18+ only.

Length: 5.6k

AO3 | Next Chapter

Friday, September 26, 2003

Dubois, Wyoming 

“They ain’t even that good,” you took a sip of beer, glaring at the girl in the short, white eyelet lace sundress standing near the band on stage. Your Texas accent got stronger when you were drunk. It also got stronger when you were pissed. You were speaking with a full blown drawl now. “I can play better n’them.” 

“Baby Doll, you can play better than everyone in town,” Justin leaned down, his head so close to you that you could feel his breath on your cheek, his lips brushing the shell of your ear when he spoke. His arm went around your waist. “Better than you is a damn a high bar…” 

You could hear the smile on his voice and you turned around in his arms to face him, eyes narrowed. 

“You’re lovin’ this,” you said. “I can tell, you’re just havin’ the time of your life…” 

“I ain’t gonna lie to you,” he smirked. “It is fun seein’ you get all worked up over a girl hittin’ on me.” 

“I am not!” You swatted his chest. “I just think it’s disrespectful, she saw me come in with you, she should know that you’re gonna dance with the one that brung ya…” 

“Hey,” he teased. “I brung you, not the other way ‘round…” 

“Yeah, yeah,” you waved him off, turning back around and taking another sip of beer just in time to see the girl in question heading to the bathroom with one of her friends. She looked a little green and you smiled a little. Served her right. You looked back up at Justin. “Don’t go thinkin’ you’re hot shit now just because I didn’t like some rancher’s daughter tryin’ to climb you like a tree.” 

“Oh I’d never dream that you thought I was hot shit,” he kissed your temple. “Don’t you worry. Need another?” 

“It’s Friday night and if I’m gonna listen to that band fuck up ‘Devil Went Down to Georgia’ you better goddamm well get me another,” you said. He just shook his head and worked his way up to the bar. You smiled a little, watching him go, rapping your fingers along the side of your almost empty beer bottle. 

You were getting attached to Justin. 

He’d started out as something fun to do over the summer when he showed up at the ranch you’d been working at for more than a year now. He was a few years older - not enough to make it scandalous but enough that he knew what the fuck he was doing. He was rugged and handsome and he was happy to buy you beer and whiskey because, at 19, getting your hands on the stuff was tricky. It had started in May with you fucking him. 

At first, that’s all it had been. After a few weeks of him staring at you when you were hanging tack back up at the end of the day, you all but cornered him in the barn. 

“You got some kind of problem with me, cowboy?” You snapped, getting so close to him that the brim of your hat almost caught his chin. 

“No I do not,” he replied. “Unless you count the fact that your ass looks way too damn good in those jeans to be doin’ nothin’ but ridin’ horses all day. Otherwise, I got the opposite of a problem with you.” 

“Oh,” you stepped back from him, looking him up and down. He was tall, broad, handsome. He reminded you a bit of the boy you’d lost your virginity to when you were 16 and he’d been working on your parents’ ranch back in Texas. “Well, I’m done for the day, headin’ back to my room. You’re welcome to join if you want to see what else I’m good at ridin’ on.” 

You turned and started off toward the bunkhouse. He scrambled to catch up with you and you smirked a little. He was definitely going to be fun. 

In August, he asked if you wanted to go to dinner sometime. You frowned, looking over at him, his naked body shiny with sweat. 

“Dinner,” you said, incredulous. “With me.” 

“That’s what I said,” he replied, looking over at you. “Unless there’s someone else you’d rather go to dinner with…” 

“You realize you’re already fucking me, right?” You frowned. “You don’t have to try.” 

“Oh trust me, I noticed,” he grinned, a little cocky. “But I’d like to do more than fuck you. So I’m askin’ you to dinner. Gonna try to make a proper lady outta you and all that.” 

You snorted. 

“No proper lady to be had here,” you said. “But… we can have dinner.” 

This was actual date number five. Not that the number of dates meant much when you were already screwing every chance you got. 

But you’d gotten to really like Justin, especially now that you were spending almost every spare second together. Maybe love him. A little. You’d cross that bridge when you came to it. 

“You know,” he came and pressed a new beer into your hand and took your empty bottle, putting it on a nearby table. “Bet you’d look pretty as hell in a little dress like that…” 

He ran his nose along your temple and you glared at him a little. 

“OK, first of all, it’s after Labor Day, wearin’ all white like that is tacky,” you said. “Second of all, you get frustrated when I take 10 minutes to tame my hair before we leave, you know how long it takes to look that put together? Longer than you want to wait, cowboy.” 

“OK well I’m dyin’ to know where you got that Labor Day thing from. But you’re prettier than her, so I’m sure it wouldn’t take you that long,” he said, smirking a bit. “And I’m not talkin’ about for every day. Maybe if we were to… I dunno… take a trip somewhere.” 

“A trip?” You smiled, brows raised. “You tryin’ to take me away from all this, that it?” 

“Maybe,” he winked. “Thinkin’ maybe a few days, we run away to a cabin on a lake, find some fun restaurants, I get to spend way more time kissin’ you than usual…” 

“Sounds good to me,” you were about to move to kiss him when there was a strange, snarling sound from over his shoulder. You frowned, leaning around him just as he turned to look. 

The girl from before - in the stupid white dress - flew at him, her blonde hair tangled, her fingers curved so her nails were more like claws. He stepped back, his hands going up to stop her but she didn’t seem to notice or care. 

She jumped, knocking him to the ground as you jumped out of the way, the girl ripping at his shirt before digging her bared teeth into his neck. 

“What the fuck!” You yelled, grabbing her by the hair and yanking her backward. She sprawled on the floor next to Justin for a second before she scrambled up onto all fours and tried to rush you. You took your half full beer bottle and throttled her on the side of her head, hitting her with every ounce to strength you had, sending her down to the ground, unconscious. 

“Shit!” A man near you looked between you and the girl. 

“Hey, she fuckin’ started it!” You snapped. “She just tried to take a chunk out of my boyfriend’s neck!” 

Someone else got down on the ground with the girl as Justin got to his feet. You looked at his throat, her teeth marks red and oozing. 

“Jesus, she got you good…” you frowned, leaning in close. 

“We should call the cops,” the man near you said. 

“And that’s our cue,” Justin took you by the elbow and started pulling you to the door. 

“Hey, we didn’t do a damn thing wrong,” you said as he dragged you along beside him. “She went fuckin’ nuts…” 

“Yeah but that’s your third beer of the night and you’re 19,” he said quickly. “Rather not get in trouble for buyin’ you booze…” 

“That’s the girl that hit ‘er!” Someone yelled. You looked up at Justin.

“Run!” Justin pulled you with him as the two of you took off, him clearing a path with you at his heels until you were in the parking lot, a handful of people on your tail. 

“Sure hope you ain’t drunk!” You said as you jumped into the passenger side of his rusted pickup. 

“Sober enough to get us outta this,” he said, turning the key and holding it until the old engine turned over with a growl. He floored it, nearly taking out the front of a sedan on his way onto the main road. 

He careened through town at 80 until the streetlights had faded in the distance and the sky was bursting with stars. 

“What the fuck was her problem?” You crawled to the middle of the bench seat and tried to get a look at his neck. “Maybe you should go to a hospital, this looks bad…” 

“I’ll just clean it up when we get back,” he waved you off. “I’m too eager to find out what kind of sex I get as your boyfriend…” 

“What?” You sat back, incredulous. 

“You called me your boyfriend back there,” he smirked. “I’m really ready to find out what that means once I’m in your bed…” 

“Oh, Jesus,” you shoved him playfully. “You got a one track mind. And you shouldn’t read too much into what I say when I’m defending myself because some psycho tried to take a chunk out of ya.” 

He winked and you rolled your eyes. 

The two of you made it back to your room without any more excitement - something you were plenty thankful for. Once you were inside, you took Justin’s plaid button down off and draped it over your worn wooden desk chair before getting out your first aid kit. You usually used it for patching up cuts when a horse did manage to throw you - a rare occurrence - or when you weren’t paying close enough attention and cut yourself on barbed wire - less rare. 

You frowned at the bite mark, the skin around it red and angry, as you cleaned it with rubbing alcohol and applied a bandage.

“This looks infected,” you said. “Really should take you to a hospital…” 

“Nah,” he waved you off. “I’ll go to a doctor in a day or two if somethin’ ain’t feelin’ right. I’m fine, Baby Doll, really.” 

He tugged you onto his lap and kissed your cheek. 

“You’re cute when you’re worryin’ though,” he smiled a little. “If I’d known all it took was some rancher’s daughter gettin’ handsy with me to get you to be all over me, callin’ me your boyfriend, I’d have done it sooner…” 

You rolled your eyes and shifted so you were less sitting on his lap and more straddling him and his hands went to your waist. 

“See if you were in a dress, this’d be easier…” 

You glared at him. 

“You’re not careful I’ll give you a matchin’ bite mark on the other side of your neck.” 

“Oh, from you, I’d welcome it,” he smiled, kissing you as he unbuttoned your shirt. 

You ground your hips down against his as he undressed you, his hands exploring you as he kissed you. Once you were bare from the waist up, he pulled you down on the bed and you crawled down his body, opening his pants and stroking his hardening length a few times before taking him in your mouth in one, swift motion. 

“Fuck, Baby Doll,” he groaned, one of his hands going to your hair. “Fuckin’ love your mouth…” 

You hummed in approval, making his legs twitch as you sucked him, bobbing your head up and down his length as his fingers dug into your scalp. You worked his cock until he pulled your head roughly away from him, panting for breath. 

“Really don’t want to come before I have a chance to properly fuck ya,” he said, grip loosening on your hair. 

“So demanding,” you teased, looping your fingers over the top of his jeans and boxers, pulling them both down his legs and leaving them on the floor. You took off your own jeans and underwear, too, and crawled up his body, leaning over him to grab a condom from your bedside table. He took one of your nipples into his mouth and sucked you as your breasts hung over his face, his fingers sinking into your hips. 

He reluctantly released you when you moved back down to straddle his thighs, opening the wrapper and sliding the condom on over his thick length. You looked at him naked in front of you and rubbed two fingers through your slit, spreading the wetness that had gathered there. 

“You gettin’ wet from suckin’ me off has to be the hottest fuckin’ thing I’ve ever seen,” his hands slid up your legs as he watched you arrange yourself over him. 

“I’m so busy thinking about this the whole time I can’t help it,” you said, breathless, as you sank down onto him. He groaned as you did, your body slowly and surely taking all of his cock into you. Your hips met his and you ground yourself down against him, his hardness just big enough to stretch you enough to satisfy. You rode him like that, rubbing your clit as you did, his hands on your hips as you worked yourself to an orgasm on his length, coming around him with a whimper. 

He took advantage of your orgasm and grabbed you, flipping you onto your back and driving into you as you rode out the last waves of pleasure, arranging your legs so he was pressing deeper. You groaned as he started to fuck you harder, faster, the force of it making your tits bounce. 

“Love seein’ you come on my cock,” he grunted. “Love seein’ how this tight little pussy takes me…” 

He ground himself in as deep as he could reach, your body tightening around him again. 

“Fuck, I love you,” he gasped it out as he started to come deep inside you, spilling into the condom. 

Your eyes went wide and your orgasm hit - soft and subdued but not entirely put off by his words. He collapsed beside you when both of you were spent, your own slick leaking out between your legs. You stared up at the ceiling. 

“Knew boyfriend sex would be good,” he teased, a little breathless and smiling at you. 

“Yeah, about that,” you said, propping yourself up on your elbows. “What did you say at the end there?” 

He frowned. 

“I said…” and his eyes went wide. “Oh shit… I didn’t mean… I don’t expect… Look, I…” 

“Did you mean it?” You asked, brows raised. 

He flinched. 

“Maybe,” he said. “But I wasn’t plannin’ on sayin’ a damn thing about it to you, alright? So please don’t freak out about this, OK? I feel like we’re in a good place…” 

“I…” you paused. “Well I dunno if I love you yet or not but… I do like you. A lot. You’re kind of my favorite person so… I might love you a little. But just a little.” 

You shrugged and fell back down onto your back. He smiled. 

“Well, you’re my favorite person, too.” 

“Don’t read too much into it,” you smiled a little. 

“Wouldn’t dream of it, Baby Doll.” 

He rolled over to kiss you before getting out of bed. You frowned. 

“Gonna go rinse off,” he said. “I’m feelin’… I dunno, just off.” 

“I’m telling you, that stupid bite is infected,” you called after him as he went to shower. You waited until you heard the water turn on and got out bed yourself, getting his shirt from the chair and shrugging into it. It hung on you and you had to roll up the sleeves. You smiled a little at the physical representation of him enveloping you, the shirt smelling like his cologne with the faint smell of hay below it - a smell he never seemed to really shake. You liked it. 

You got your guitar from its stand in the corner and settled back down on the bed, tuning it briefly before just noodling on it. You’d been experimenting with a combination of chords and the rhythm you could get from tapping on the guitar body itself. 

“That’s soundin’ good,” Justin said, coming out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel. He got is boxers off the floor and stepped into them, draping the towel over the chair. 

“Thanks,” you said. “Not sure what I’m gonna do with it yet but something eventually… Feeling any better?” 

“Bit worse actually,” he frowned. “Maybe I should go back to mine, what if I’m comin’ down with somethin’. Don’t need to be gettin’ you sick, too…” 

“You were just inside me, Justin, whatever you got I’m gonna get,” you rolled your eyes. “Assuming it’s contagious and it’s not from that damn bite.” 

“She wasn’t rabid,” he teased, climbing into bed beside you. “Sure I just picked up somethin’ somewhere…” 

You put the guitar down beside the bed and curled into him, falling asleep breathing in the smell of hay on his skin. 

His twitching is what woke you up. 

“Justin,” you whispered, nudging him. He didn’t respond. “You’re dreaming, c’mon baby…” 

You gave him a shake but he didn’t wake up. You sighed and untangled yourself from him and the sheets. You grabbed your panties off the floor and ducked into the bathroom. If you were awake, you might as well pee. You did that, chugged a glass of water and went back into the bedroom. 

It was uncommonly dark, the new moon making it so there was almost no light coming in through your windows. You nudged Justin again as you tried to get under the covers. 

“Hey,” you shook him a little more firmly this time. “Baby, you’re dreaming something crazy…” 

He responded then, taking in a deep, raspy breath, his movements still sharp and jerky. 

“Justin?” You said quietly. “Hey, it’s me, it’s…” 

He shrieked, sounding like the girl at the bar and you shocked back from him, jumping away just as his fingers reached and groped for you. 

“This isn’t funny!” You yelled, stumbling over your guitar as you backed away from him. You squinted, barely able to make out his writhing in the bedsheets in the dark. “Justin, cut it the fuck out!” 

He just shrieked again before he fell to the floor with a thud, his breaths still coming in deep, rasping pants. 

“Justin?” You crept toward his side of the bed cautiously. He snarled and scrambled, on all fours, for you. 

It shocked you so much that he got ahold of your ankle, yanking you onto the ground so hard that it made your brain rattle in your skull, his fingers digging harshly into your flesh as he dragged you closer. 

You fought without really thinking about how or why or who, you just kicked as hard as you could with your free leg, catching the side of his head with your knee. He shrieked and released you and you scrambled back from him, pulling yourself up by your bed to run around to your nightstand. You yanked the middle drawer open - just below where you’d grabbed a condom just hours before to put on the man who was now bent on killing you - and pulled out your hand gun. 

“Justin!” You were crying. You almost never cried. You weren’t sure when you’d started. “Please! I don’t want to do this, please!” 

He snarled and lunged for you again and you pulled the trigger. He collapsed immediately and you screamed, fumbling to turn on the lamp on your side table. 

“Justin?” You got down on the ground next to him. You’d shot him in the chest, right by his heart. The rattling sound of his breaths were gone. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, please…” 

You sobbed, instinctively trying to put his blood back inside of him. If you could just fix it, put it back together, he’d be OK, he’d wake up and be Justin again and everything would be fine. That had to be the way it worked, it was the only thing that made sense…

You barely noticed it, out of the corner of your eye. He’d pulled the bandage off his neck at some point, the violent bite mark on display and a fibrous, vine-like tendril reaching out from his throat. Reaching for you. 

You yelped and scrambled back from him, your gun still in your hand. The thing was still moving, with a mind of its own. 

“What the fuck?” You were panting for breath. His body twitched and you did the only thing you could think to do. 

You ran. 

“Help me!” You ran out front of the bunk house, gun still in your bloody hands. “Please! Help me!” 

You heard it before you saw it, the rattling breath and the inhuman snarl. Like the girl at the bar. Like Justin. 

It was Keith, one of the older ranch hands. He worked with the cattle. You’d almost never seen him so much as jog and here he was, running for you, snarling, his hands in a claw-like shape. 

“Stop!” You held up the gun. “I ain’t jokin’, I will shoot you!” 

He kept coming, the snarling getting louder. You fired, shooting him in the head by the glow of the light on the barn. He collapsed where he stood as you heard something crash against the door of one of the other rooms at the bunkhouse. Like someone was hurling their body against it, trying to break free. 

You looked around, frantic. There was only one thing you were sure of: you’d get torn apart if you stayed here. You didn’t know why, you didn’t know what caused it, but you knew you were going to die if you didn’t get away. 

You ran to the paddock where you’d been working with a horse, a filly who was just past her yearling stage. You’d been breaking her in, now that she was old enough, barely to dumb broke, just starting to carry a rider and learn commands. She was there, asleep in the grass. You jumped the fence, not wanting to risk going in the barn where there were sometimes still people, even at this hour. 

“Hey Nike,” you whispered. She roused with a whinny. You’d named her for the goddess of victory and you hoped that meant she’d help you win whatever the fuck battle was apparently happening here today. “We gotta get goin’ sweet girl…” 

You coaxed her to her feet and she shook her head, her mane bouncing. You jumped on her back and realized that you hadn’t even put on shoes or pants, you’d been in too big a hurry to get the fuck out of your room. But it wasn’t safe to go back, not now. You’d have to make do. You tucked your gun into the waistband of your panties. Nike pranced, impatient below you. 

“We’re gonna get the fuck out of here,” you said. “You and me.” 

You leaned forward and took some of her mane in each hand, one on each side of her neck. You couldn’t afford to go and get reins, you hoped this would be enough. 

“Lets see if we can make you a jumper…” 

You nudged her forward and got her moving. There was more snarling from the bunkhouse, louder now. Something must have gotten through a door… you shuddered, thinking about it. 

Once she was up to a good clip, you pointed her at the fence line and drove her to it, adjusting your weight and pulling back on her, hoping that she’d figure it out. 

She did, you barely hanging on as she sailed over the fence posts. 

“Good girl!” You said, driving her toward the woods at the edge of the property. “It’s you and me, Nike. You and me. We’re going to get through this, we’re going to get help, we’re going to get through this.” 

You said it more for you than your horse as you rode into the dark of the forest, the ranch and the bodies of the first men you ever killed behind you. 

*** 

Sunday, November 2, 2025

“Been quiet today,” Tommy said from beside Joel, the gentle crunch of the snow under the feet of their horses the only other sound on the cold air. 

Joel groaned. 

“Jesus, Tommy, why don’t you just ask for us to get swarmed by infected,” he glared at his little brother. 

“Don’t tell me you’re superstitious now, brother,” Tommy smirked a little. “You and I both know that whatever I say don’t got shit to do with anything that happens later.” 

“It will if I deck you for sayin’ stupid shit,” Joel replied. “And I ain’t superstitious, I’m just smart enough to not say somethin’ that goddamn dumb in the middle of a patrol.” 

The men were, at this point, about a four hour’s ride from Jackson, Wyoming. But they’d been taking it at a slow pace because - as Tommy had rightly and stupidly pointed out - it had been a quiet day. A quiet day in a quiet month. 

Raiders seemed to have gone dark - either hunkering down for the coming winter or migrating elsewhere. So had infected, though they knew they could put that on their migratory patterns. Stupid fungus was smart enough to know that the humans it occupied couldn’t hold up in extreme cold and that their host bodies would freeze and die if they stayed too far north during the winter. Things thinned out this time of year. 

“We should turn around and head back soon,” Tommy said. “We cut over a few miles, we’ll be able to sweep up and check a different area…” 

“You know this shit better’n me,” Joel shrugged. “Just don’t be surprised if we come up on a pocket of raiders now…” 

Tommy rolled his eyes as they rode up on a stream. He nudged his horse to follow it, cutting back toward Jackson. 

They’d only been following the path of the stream for about 20 minutes when Joel first noticed it. The sign of footprints, then blood. 

“Tommy,” he said quietly, nodding his head at it. 

“Shit,” Tommy sighed, shaking his head. 

“You said it was quiet,” Joel said, trying not to smirk at him. 

“Fuck you,” Tommy replied, steering his horse to follow the footprints. 

They didn’t have to go far, the snow growing steadily redder the further they went, until there was a body face down on the ground. 

Joel slid off his horse and crouched next to the man, checking for signs of life even though it was pretty obvious that there weren’t any. He rolled the man over. There was a sizable knife buried in the man’s chest but that’s not the thing that caught Joel’s attention. 

“Jesus Christ,” he looked up at his brother, still on horseback. “Tommy, look at this.” 

Tommy frowned, dismounting and squatting down next to Joel. 

“Oh fuck,” he said. “Was that… infected?” 

The man’s face had been nearly torn apart, nail marks like some kind of feral animal had gotten to him but they were distinctly human, little half-moon shapes dragged through his flesh that had gushed blood. He’d been alive when something - someone - got to his face.

“Ain’t ever seen one go at someone quite like this,” Joel said. “And infected don’t use knives…” 

“Maybe suicide if he got bit?” Tommy shrugged. 

Joel looked over the body and found a gun with plenty of ammo and nodded to it. 

“Well then, never mind,” Tommy frowned. “Jesus, he pissed off someone…” 

“The fuck knows who,” Joel said, looking him over more to see if he could find any signs as to where the man had come from. There were a few thick zipties in the man’s back pocket. Joel sighed and held them up for Tommy to see. “Well, probably plenty. I’m bettin’ he’s a raider, probably tryin’ to bring in someone who fought back a little harder than expected…” 

“Fuckin’ hell,” Tommy sighed, getting up again. “Grab the guns I guess, knife too. See if we can’t find who fucked him up.” 

The men mounted up again and rode on. They found another body, this one shot dead and not scratched to hell, though one look at the nails - free of blood and torn flesh - told Joel this was another raider and not who they were after. 

“Joel,” Tommy nodded at another set of tracks, starting with little drops of blood in the snow and coloring it more crimson as the path wore on. 

“Shit,” he sighed, steering his horse to follow the path. 

They didn’t need to go far. 

Ahead was a body in the snow, splayed out on the ground, splotches of red and pink around it. Joel dismounted and approached slowly. He could sense that this was different. This was who the raiders had been after. 

He moved cautiously, almost afraid to see what the raiders must have done to you if you’d done that kind of damage to them. You were bloody but he wasn’t sure the source of it from a quick glance. Your face was bruised and he could see signs of you being bound on your exposed wrist, the skin ringed in harsh and angry red. 

“Jesus,” Tommy breathed, coming up along side Joel. 

He noticed it then, the small, almost imperceptible movement of your chest. Joel tapped Tommy’s arm and nodded toward your torso. 

“Oh shit,” he said. 

Your eyes fluttered open and you took a sharp breath, struggling onto your elbows and hands, trying to drag your broken body back away from Joel and Tommy. 

“Woah!” Tommy held up his hands. “Not here to hurt you, you’re OK, we’re just gonna try to help…” 

“Fuck you,” you spat - literally, blood and spittle flying from your lips as you tried to get a full breath. “Don’t touch me!” 

“Hey,” Joel got down on your level, his hands up, and met your eyes. There was something in them that felt familiar. Something that he wanted to protect. “It’s OK. We’re not like them, those men back there. Guessin’ you killed ‘em?” 

You nodded once. Your eyes were so wide, you were so afraid. It reminded Joel of a baby deer, fragile and wild. 

“You did good, Bambi,” he said, keeping his hands where you could see them. “Fucked ‘em up real good. We’re from a settlement, few hours from here. It’s a good place, we’ve got a doctor who can help you…” 

“Can’t walk a few hours,” you said through gritted teeth. 

“I know,” Joel said, nodding to your torso. “Mind if I take a look? See where that blood’s comin’ from? I’m just gonna lift your shirt, not gonna touch you.” 

You looked at him for a moment before you gave him a stiff nod. He gingerly raised the bloody fabric - you weren’t wearing nearly enough layers to be out in this weather, just jeans, boots and a button down - and examined your stomach. There were two bullet holes there. He winced. He wasn’t a doctor but he knew getting shot in the stomach was bad. He noticed a raised scar on your hip, just below and to the left of your belly button, a branded letter M. His stomach turned. The fuck had happened to you? 

“It’s bad,” you managed. “Just shoot me, better… better than dyin’ with them.” 

“She’s right, Joel,” Tommy said, his voice low. “She’s lost a lot of blood, dragging her back to town’s just torture at this point…” 

You’d fallen back into the snow, struggling to breathe, your eyes closed. But he remembered your eyes, the warmth wrapped in something harsh and sharp. 

He realized then what they reminded him of, who you reminded him of. Tess. You were a survivor, like Tess. He hadn’t been able to save her, either. He’d failed her, too. 

“Bambi,” Joel said, just sticking with the name. He figured you’d offer your real one if you wanted to. You opened your eyes again. “Now, I’m gonna have to touch you for this but I’m gonna be as gentle as I can…” 

“Fuck you,” you winced. “Just…” 

“Not going to just let you die out here in the cold,” Joel shrugged out of his jacket and held it out to Tommy. “Gonna get you on my horse - it’s OK if you pass out, I’ll hold onto ya - and we’re gonna get you back with us.” 

“I don’t…” you began but Joel slid his arm below your legs and the other behind your ribs and he gently, slowly, lifted you into his body. You cried out in pain but he held onto you, putting you on the horse as best he could. 

“Sorry, Bambi.” You instinctively wrapped your fingers around the saddle horn as your body slumped forward and you whimpered. He mounted up behind you and held his hand out to Tommy, who handed him his coat. He draped it over your shivering frame and tugged you against him. Your head lolled back against his chest and you groaned. Your eyes were closed. He wondered if you were conscious. 

“This is damn stupid, Joel,” Tommy said, mounting his horse again. 

“Couldn’t just leave her out here,” Joel said. “You know we couldn’t.” 

Tommy sighed. 

“Let’s get back,” he said. “Maybe, by some miracle, this won’t all have been for nothin’.” 

“And you said it was a quiet day,” Joel said, starting off at a faster clip this time. 

Tommy sighed.

“Fuck you.” 

A/N: Hi everyone! Welcome to Yearling! I hope you've enjoyed it so far and that you'll come to love Bambi and Joel as much as I have as I've been thinking about and planning this story for the last month or so.

You can expect updates a few times a week here as I have brain rot and really only want to write this stuff :)

I'll start a tag list, please let me know if you'd like to be added!

Thank you so so much for reading! I hope you stick around and go on this journey with me. Love you!

Next Chapter

[barzzal]

between halls and thin walls → part two

summary: friends who fool around almost never work. almost.

↳ pairing: mathew barzal x you

↳ warnings: swearing, sex toys, masturbation, sexual/suggestive themes, and yenno, mathew :(

↳ genre: angst, smut, roommates au, best friend’s best friend, friends with benefits, 18+ minors dni*

↳ length: series; part one, part two (5.9k), part three, part four, part five, part six

↳ masterlist: the barn

↳ track: listened to a lot of beyoncé for this one !!

note: part two’s here!! and i know it’s late for an update but i just wanna thank everyone for commenting on the first part 🥺 really glad that you guys liked it. reading your tags are everything to me it means a lot! happy reading <3 (gif used: mine)

You come out of your bedroom dressed and ready for work. Your handbag was slung over the depth of your forearm as you headed for the kitchen and the other, scrolling past emails on your phone, admittedly bracing yourself for the mess you know will eventually greet you.

To your surprise, what you see instead were Mat Barzal’s guns rippling through the jet black sweater he had worn last night. A memory that sent your mind to less than eight hours ago, before eventually landing on what happened shortly when the two of you had woken up.

“Thank god you haven’t burnt the house down.” you kid, placing your handbag atop the island.

Mat spares you a quick glance, rolling his eyes whilst he lets you watch him whisk some eggs for breakfast.

“Like it?” he cocks, pertaining to how your eyes were pinned hard on his biceps that he was, for the most part, effortlessly sporting. It’s true, though. He didn’t need to flex because it was just there.

“Coffee or Juice?” he asks, as the kind friend and roommate that he is. 

Anthony, as surprising as it was, takes incredibly long showers. If people hadn’t known him well, they’d easily think he’s abusing himself there. But you’ve got to admit that not having him around felt nice for you didn’t have to feel so seen with Mathew.

‘Course, there’s nothing more, like a fix-in on the side, to your set up. You just appreciate the feeling of not having to lie to Beau about all the ugly concealed underneath all the innocent gazes you and Mathew exchange.

“Coffee.” you answer shortly, realizing that you forgot the material you need for today’s meeting.

“Where are you going?” Mat asks when he catches you receding out into the hallway. You didn’t bother looking back, “Forgot something!”

He gets back to whisking the eggs when a chime comes off his phone. He takes it from the counter, placed just before the plates he left to dry last night, absent-mindedly putting the bowl he was holding onto the island, toppling over the green juice he has prepared for himself. 

“Shit.” he curses as soon as he sees it for it was already spilling all over the place, making the mess you’ve been secretly anticipating the moment Mathew said he’d make breakfast.

Panicking at how you’d see he’s successfully screwed such a no-brainer task, Mat grabs the first thing he sees on the marbled surface and uses it to clean the mess he’d made.

“Huh.” he muses to himself, realizing that the silk fabric didn’t do much in helping him clean up. He tosses it over the sink carelessly and grabs a few napkin rolls from one of the cupboards. 

So much for making an effort to feed Anthony Beauvillier. 

“Now, that was fast.” you say with a smirk once you’ve entered the kitchen, startling Mathew as he continued cleaning up after his mess. 

“Ha-ha. Very funny.” he sarcastically laughs, discarding the paper towels onto the sink along with the used ones. 

Thankfully, your stuff was at the other side of the island so it was very much safe from all the chaos happening at the other end of the marbled surface. However, your laugh dies down the second you realize that your handkerchief was no longer where you’ve last put it.

“Hey,” you call on Mathew, “What’s up?”

“Have you seen my handkerchief? I know I left it somewhere.” you anxiously ask, eyeing every corner of the room hoping to see Nana’s handkerchief, the one she gave to you on your 18th birthday.

“What does it look like?” Mat asks, now holding a pan in his hand as he prepares breakfast.

You proceeded to describe your grandma’s handkerchief in the most specific and perhaps excruciating detail Mathew has ever heard someone talk about something as mind-numbing as a handkerchief.

Despite that, Mat lights up the moment it hits him, not realizing the bigger mess he’s about to walk into. He rejoices at how he knew exactly what you were looking for, “Oh! You mean this?” 

With clueless eyes, you watch Mat go over the sink after he wipes his hands dry, fishing out an all too familiar fabric from the sink. Once your eyes land onto the cream colored silk handkerchief, with details carefully sewn by hand, drenching in what seems to be Mat’s morning drink, your heart falls to the pit of your stomach. 

“What did you do??” The sudden rise in your voice startles an unsuspecting Mathew. You eagerly went over to his side and hastily snatched the smooth fabric off his hands, “It’s ruined!”

“What? I didn’t know it was yours!” Mat’s eyes are wild with confusion. Puzzled at how you were so fixated on the useless fabric. It didn’t help him anyway. There’s nothing much left to do but to throw it. It’s garbage. 

“You ruined it!” you lash out, letting Mat get eaten up by the sudden anger bubbling inside your guts but he was rather quick in defending himself, “I didn’t know it was yours since I grabbed the first thing I could find. Why are you getting upset over a shit-ass handkerchief?” 

Your mouth falls and you shake your head, finding his defensiveness quite appalling. “You’re an ass.”

“Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t know it was yours.” he explains, “Come on, it’s just a stupid handkerchief I’ll just buy you a new one.” he tries to laugh the tension off, sporting his signature grin.

Mat take shots of the stunned expression on your face, “Stupid?” you repeat what he said, your eyes already starting to sting with tears. Clearly, you were far too overwhelmed to even acknowledge Mathew’s half-assed apology.

“You’re a fucking asshole.” your words bite and that’s when things took a turn for the worse. 

“I said I was fucking sorry! What the hell do you want from me? Shit a fucking hanky?” he rans a hand through his hair, “Do you realize how childish you’re being right now?”

Outraged, and perhaps disappointed by how he was too high up his horse, your voice takes up a higher tone, entering what seems to be an early screaming match between you and Mathew.

“Could you just–” you breathe, “for one second– stop being so goddamn stupid and get over yourself!?” were words that welcomed Anthony the moment he stepped into the kitchen, towel wrapped around his waist, a grin on his face visible as he poured himself a glass of water, inviting himself in the screaming match you and Mathew have exclusively put forth for him.

“Stupid is not when you’ve already apologized a hundred times! Stupid is being such a crybaby and a bitch about it!” Mathew retorts, gaining his better end of the argument.

“What a beautiful morning, isn’t it?” Anthony chimes in, a hand resting on his chin, adoring his two best friends upon getting used to the best worst duo he’s ever known in his life. 

“Shut up, Beau.” you say, throwing him a glare.

“Well, beautiful is definitely not in Y/N’s dictionary.” Mathew chides with a smirk, enough to earn himself a scoff from you. 

“You know what? I don’t have the time for this bullshit.” you cuss, finally retreating, your already heavy heart taking a better hold on your thoughts, blocking your ability to even come up with a clever remark to come back at Mathew.

You throw the delicate, yet already ruined piece of fabric towards his way as hard as you could before marching out of the kitchen and head off for work.

“Fucking unbelievable.” Mathew curses under his breath once he catches the silk linen, shaking his head as he turns his attention back to the morning task at hand. 

You were fucking unbelievable.

Once the boys were left alone, Tito raises a brow, briefly looking back after your footsteps, “What happened here, anyway?” he asks, having realized what must’ve caused such a heated argument so early in the morning. 

“I used this handkerchief to wipe the whole thing off and she just went ape shit! I mean–” Anthony cuts Mathew the moment he recognizes the thin cloth he was holding.

“Woah, woah. Wait a minute, you used this?” he muses, stressing on the possibility of what might have been Mathew’s biggest mistake of the day, his eyes darting between him and the fabric.

With furrowed brows, admittedly weirded by how Anthony reacted almost the same way you did a while ago. “It’s just a handkerchief, man. I can go buy her a bunch if that’s what she wants.” he says defensively.

Anthony shakes his head wildly, his irises now dilated as he examined the stain already sitting on the material. “No no. Oh god no.” He says, snatching Mathew’s phone from the counter to google quick remedies that might remove the said stain from the already ruined cloth. 

“What do you mean no? You guys spend way too much time together, you’re beginning to be as weird as her.” He scoffs, sipping on a glass of water. 

“No, you dumbass. This was her grandma’s!” Anthony says, eyes fixated on the delicate handkerchief. Remembering how you’d told him how long it has been in your family that having Nana give it to you after all the years you’ve spent admiring it from afar meant so much to you than anything anyone could have possibly given you.

“So?” Mat casually replies, closing his arms to his chest before adding, “Is she dead or something? Didn’t you guys visit her for the Holidays?” 

“What?? Why would you even say that?– You’re such a jerk.” Tito shakes his head, appalled by how Mathew easily shrugged the matter off when he knew full well how sentimental he himself could be.

“Well, how am I supposed to know?? If that thing’s so important I wouldn’t leave it on top of some random shit lying around!” He counters, defending himself for reaching for the nearest cloth he could find when he did whatever he does best when he’s in the kitchen.

Tito clicks his tongue and looks at Mathew exasperatedly, “Tell me, where did you find this exactly?”, to which Mathew only answered with a quiet voice, “It may or may not have been placed on top of her purse…” he avoids Tito’s gaze, finally catching on how he was the one in the wrong. 

“See? Jerk. Now, go figure out how you’ll take the stain off.” Anthony demands, his voice embraced by a definitive tone. One that made Mathew know he wouldn’t be able to persuade him into letting this go. 

Tito takes one good look at Mat’s catastrophic attempt to feed the house, striding his way out of the kitchen, “And make sure you apologize!” he adds, footsteps receding into the hallway, leaving Mathew scratching the back of his head out of guilt and frustration.

You have spent the following days either avoiding Mathew or ignoring his existence completely. Anthony talked to you the night that incident happened and assured you that he would do his best to have it fixed. You didn’t want to bother him nor take time off his already busy schedule, but you were just so bummed to even say a word.

That night, you spent the entire evening in your room, facetiming your mother, saying how much you’re missing home. You can’t bring yourself to tell her about the handkerchief. For some people, and that people being Mathew, it might’ve been just some silly thing but Tito knew how much that small piece of cloth meant to you. 

Mathew, on the one hand, was for sure guilty to his bones. He didn’t see you that night nor the nights that followed. He didn’t think much of it but when he found himself searching for that same handkerchief in the hopes of replacing it only to find out that it was nowhere to be found in the market, was when he did realize that ruining the one thing that held you closer to home was the last push your non-existent relationship with him had to have for you to finally lose any ounce of amour nor civility you once had for him. 

Anthony wasn’t a stranger for said changes either. He began waking up to a still apartment enveloped by a wall you profusely built between you and Mathew. You even unknowingly shut Tito out in the process as well. It was like you were grieving. Like, it was a whole different kind of heartbreak he knew he can’t get you out of that easily. 

You tried making it up for your best friend of course. Knowing that you haven’t been yourself since that day. You thought about the possibility of having taken the whole thing too seriously that you might’ve overreacted a bit. Nonetheless, no matter how much you try to push it in the back of your head, Mathew’s mere presence began irking you in ways it never did back when you used to enjoy the bickering you exchange with him, especially in bed.

“Thanks for dinner, belle.” Anthony politely says, earning a smile from you so effortlessly upon hearing the pet name he uses for you. Something Mat only shrugged off, trying to piece out the same gratitude, “Thanks, y/n.” he genuinely adds. But as expected, he had nothing.

You pick up all the empty plates, including Mathew’s, who was sitting in front of you while Anthony sat at the end of the table. Tito hurriedly wipes his mouth with a napkin and takes the plate from you, “Let me help you with that.” he says with the same kind eyes that has never failed to win you over. 

“Yeah. Okay, sure.” you shortly answer, leading the way towards the kitchen, leaving one Mathew Barzal feeling small and alone at the dining table. 

𖥸

If there was one thing you’d gladly acknowledge after all the years of watching people kiss Mathew’s ass was that he was is really good. He’s fast and he can do unimaginable damage on the ice. There’s no denying that he deserves to be the face of the New York Islanders. But we know you don’t care about any of that. The only thing you care about was how unbelievably good he is at everything he does that not even you or your pink rubber toy could suffice. 

He was just that damn good. 

As your eyes shut whilst you mount your pleasures on your own, biting your lips to choke in your own moans, Mathew handling you was what circled your mind since you started defiling yourself in the bathroom. You let your arousal be washed away by the warm water trickling down your skin, envisioning Mat’s rough hands grazing your body, touching your core like his hands were meant to do nothing else but that. 

It was wrong and pathetic, but you couldn’t think about anything else. You and Mathew have been avoiding each other for days. The dynamic went so much worse than when you weren’t sleeping together and you know that Tito was bound to notice it soon. Thankfully, the boys were on another roadie for a week so you had quite some time to think things through about your current sitch with Mathew. You didn’t like any of it because it felt like you gave a fuck (which obviously, you didn’t). You just feel obligated to sort things out with the biggest ass that ever lived because you didn’t want to involve Tito into the mess you’ve wrongfully made yourself. 

You hop off the shower feeling unsatisfied. You haven’t gotten laid since the last time you were with Mat. Which is sad, not just for you but also for her. You’d think considering the boys aren’t around you’d bring someone home, maybe even one or two. But just thinking about going on bars alone so you could find a potential bone-mate is already far too tedious and you weren’t in the right state to do so. You had so much going on at work, anyway. And you can always use a wand to scratch an itch. Neither would satisfy you more than how someone-who-will-not-be-named could, but you might as well be pathetic without having to hook up with some random dude whose name you’ll eventually forget in the morning. 

You opted to wear an old pull-over you borrowed (took) from Tito years and years ago and partnered it with some leggings so you’d be comfortable enough for the rest of the night. You have nothing else to do and you are already fed up with your workload that watching a crappy movie off of Netflix doesn’t sound like a bad idea. 

With a giant bowl of popcorn and two bottles of beer in your hands, you march your way into the living room, ready to spend the night binge watching romantic comedies, crying and laughing in between. Or maybe just fall asleep on the couch while your comfort TV series is on. 

The boys won three games out of the four that they had during the trip and you only saw the ones they won so you were thankful that you didn’t have to sit at home alone watching their faces fall after that OT lost against the Flyers. Anthony phoned you that night and you can just feel the relief in his voice that you didn’t have the time to see it. They weren’t playing like they should. Thankfully, they were able to bounce back. 

Your eyes were beginning to grow tired halfway into the movie when you hear the front door open, followed by luggages dragged into the house tirelessly. 

“Y/N?” Anthony calls out.

You hit the movie on pause and hurriedly make your way towards the hallway. “You’re home already?”

They were already taking their coats off when you met them halfway, Tito was putting his away while Mat had just taken off his toque and was running his hands through his hair, unconsciously meeting your eyes upon hearing your voice. 

You quickly break it off when you give Tito a quick embrace and plant a small kiss on his cheeks, “I texted you.” he says, eyebrows quirked, surprised that you didn’t know. 

In an effort to avert any more of his questions you immediately point towards the movie you had on, “Haven’t checked my messages, sorry.” 

“So, you guys ate dinner?” you ask, passing Mat a quick look. One that came as a surprise because he wasn’t even hoping to hear a word from you given the way you two left things a little too on the edge, screwing with the whole thing even more. 

Mat avoids your irises and faintly nods. 

“Big win tonight huh? Told you, you can do it.” you say with a beaming smile, nudging Tito with your hips as you get back to watching your film. “You gotta do what you gotta do, babe.” he winks, lugging his stuff around towards his bedroom. 

“Barz, don’t stay up, Trotz needs us first thing in the morning.” he looks back, reminding Mat who was already standing in front of his door, “Yeah. Sure.” he replies shortly with a tired voice. 

You and Anthony bid your own goodnights whilst Mat mutters a quiet “Night.” when you nodded his way, clearly not enjoying any of the first awkward encounters he’s yet to have with you. Seven days is quite a reasonable time for your anger to dissipate, a short yet seemingly long period of time that’s just enough to kill off whatever guilt Mat had initially felt before you parted ways.

𖥸

“Alright, I’m off.” Tito casually declares, putting on his watch. “There’s food in the fridge, and tell Mat to go easy on my beers.” he gives you a knowing look as he bends down to give you a kiss on the cheek. 

Tito had been seeing some mystery girl for quite some time now. He hasn’t told you anything spicy in particular but by the looks of it, you could already tell that she has him towed. 

“Good luck, loverboy.” you say, swatting his hand away and pushing him out to the door. The two of you cringe at what you said, sharing one last laugh before you watch him disappear out into the hallway.

The apartment was cramped the whole day because Anthony and Mat had the day off. Tito had plans for the night, obviously. As per you, you had plans lounging in the living room, switching through channels in the hopes of stumbling on a show that isn’t half as bad than the rest. 

Thankfully, a Sandra Bullock film was on HBO.

The Proposal, to be exact.

You decide to dive in the film with a cold bottle of beer on your hand. There was no way you’d be washing down the effects of a naked Ryan Reynolds with a glass of water. You haven’t gone mad. 

The film was already at the part where Sandra was proposing to Ryan when you hear Mathew’s door open. You haven’t talked since the night they came back home other than the small nods you exchange upon passing by each other. All of which are mind-numbing and impossible to swallow. The awkwardness has not dissipated completely unlike what you presumed. You were just grateful Tito was always around that you didn’t need to be alone together. 

Alarmed by another impending awkward encounter, you clear your throat and turn up the volume a little to remain focused on the film, investing your sole attention to it even if you have seen the movie countless times. 

Mathew, in his sweats and a gray shirt on, carefully makes his way out the hallway and into the common area after snatching a glass of water from the kitchen. You see him move further into the room but you make sure that he knows you weren’t paying attention. You take that he must’ve been thirsty and needed a drink but you don’t see him move further in the corner of your eye like he was making his way back in his room. It almost seemed like he was actually waiting for you to look his way.

Hesitantly, you follow your gut feel and see him standing a few feet away from you. “Yes?” you ask when you catch him staring. 

Mat blinks a few times, “Hi.” he takes a deep breath, trying to shake off the awkwardness circling the two of you.

When the only thing he gets from you is a tight lipped smile, he shakes his head and proceeds to walk where you were seated. 

“Mind if I join you?” he asks, his voice deep and clear enough to send your mind elsewhere. 

Regardless, you contain yourself and return a polite smile, “No. Not at all.”

“So, what are we watching?” he sits once you gestured onto the other end of the couch. 

“The Proposal.” you answer before throwing a question yourself, “Aren’t you supposed to be resting now?” you shake your head, absentmindedly chuckling. Not intending to make him feel that you’ve forgotten about what he’d done weeks ago. 

“I couldn’t sleep.” he props his back and lets himself sink in the cloud couch, his legs spread wide eating up most of the space left for the two of you to share. “Oh. I only like him when he’s Deadpool” he points out, cringing at how you were watching another one of your romantic comedy films.

You roll your eyes, admiring how he’s trying to break the tension between the two of you despite his unsolicited sentiments, “I like it when we were on not-speaking terms.” 

Mat mocks you for a while but decides to watch the movie so you let him be and get back to the film, letting a giggle slip every now and then. Something you thought Mat wouldn’t notice.

Watching the remainder of the film went with ease. ‘Course, Mat would steal a few glances here and there (ones he thought had gone unnoticed), but overall the quietude between the two of you was bearable. Almost like it was just two buddies hanging out. 

Although, not long after, your eyes were torn away from the huge flat screen when Mat spoke, “By the way,” he looks at you and calls your attention. 

Puzzled, you watch him take something from his pocket, “Here.” 

Once you see what he has in his hands your heart froze. Mat carefully hands you the cloth with an apologetic smile; his eyes soft with a hint of hope as he watches your reaction. 

“What– How?” you ask in bewilderment, failing to comprehend how he was able to fix the handkerchief. It looked the same as before. All of its details were in place, it was good as new. You were holding Nana’s handkerchief. 

Mathew didn’t bother to dance around and just offered you a quiet chuckle, evidently enjoying the wide smile painted on your lips. “Don’t worry about it. I just wanted to say that I’m sorry.” he apologizes, shielding you from all the strings he had to pull just to get that cloth fixed up.

You hold the smooth and delicate piece in your hands as you look at Mat, letting your feelings get a better hold of you, “Thank you.” you say, unknowingly reaching out, your arms wrapped around his neck as you give him a quick peck on the cheek. 

Mathew’s hand instinctively finds your back to support you, startling himself in the process. Nonetheless, the thought was easily shrugged off by how close your faces were, your smiles fading once you meet each other’s gaze. You feel the same rush you felt the night you and Mat got involved for the first time. Your hand was placed rather endearingly on his cheek, your faces, just like all the other times, unreasonably close to each other. Mat then clears his throat and only looks you in the eye. 

Afraid that the innocent hug would lead to something more, perhaps another mistake to be jotted down on the board, you breathe a laugh and break away, “Uh, thanks again. It really means a lot.” 

Mat must’ve sensed that you were being cautious so he puts his guards up and returns a chuckle, “So… we good?” he asks, reaching out a hand your way. 

Your fingers slide into his, gliding its way perfectly, your hands fitted well with his despite the obvious difference in proportion. His grip tightens in the most comfortable way possible. 

A smile breaks off his lips once he hears you answer, “We’re good.”

“I should probably get some sleep.” Mat tells you the moment you pull your hand away.

“Are you gonna be okay here?” he adds.

You looked at him, not wanting him to be obligated to keep you company, “Oh, yeah. I’m a big girl.” you say, making Mathew grin, shaking his head.

“Alright. I’ll be in my room if you need anything.”

Not picking up on whatever sloppy insinuation Mat has thrown out carelessly into thin air, he hears a simple “Mkay.” 

Thus far, letting him know that his subtle invitation was far from being RSVP’d.

𖥸

“You’ll be in your room?” Mat scoffs, staring at the ceiling while he lays on his bed, “The fuck was that, Mat?” he scolds himself for always coming up with the worst things to say. 

Mathew would be lying if he’d say he hasn’t thought about you (or doing you) for the past week of not being around home. But he definitely wouldn’t deny that the roadie kind of made things easier for him because then he didn’t have to stomach seeing you walk around the flat looking like the hot piece of ass that you were in his eyes. 

Mat knows he needs to pull his shit together. He wasn’t some 13 year-old boy raging with hormones. He needs to control himself around you and he could only do that once he learns how to push this whole thing between the two of you behind him. 

What happened with you and Mathew shouldn’t have happened at all. It was just a moment of weakness, and he hated that he’d let his dick (and apparently, him being one) ruin the relationship he once had with you. 

Before that night, seeing you do yoga and work out on the terrace was just seeing you drenched in sweat, and in your work out clothes looking icky and constipated. Something he’ll later on tease you about and he’ll end up catching the water bottle you throw in his face. But now, after all that fucking, seeing you sweaty and all worked out in the same yoga pants is just like walking into a porn commercial. Like the ones they show before the actual porn. In fact, he doesn’t even have to watch any of it. Tents and Boners were pretty much sponsored by you from then on. It’s sick, and he knows it. 

However, the tension he feels with you is palpable that he’s even certain that you feel it too. But how can he be wrong? He sees how your eyes blink a few times when he’s fresh out the shower, he sees you follow his trance when you thought he wasn’t paying attention, and you never fail to slide him shadowed hints with every touch you “accidentally” pass at him. The kind that’s short enough to remain innocent but not so much as to keep him at bay. Mat hated everything about it. He hated that he wanted you– and he hated that he thinks he might be right about you wanting him too.

All that self-loathing aside, did he regret it? 

That was one of the things he feels bad about. Because as much as he wants to lie and push it aside, he didn’t regret any of it. He didn’t like you that way and just thought about you sexually but he just wishes that you could push past this and just be friends. He was still sexually attracted to you, yes. But he knows he’d eventually get over it and be back on his game. That is if he can ever find someone who’d be as good as how you were the last three times you’ve let him be with you because it would really help him a lot if he could stop picturing your mouth getting stretched by his cock every time he hops into the shower.

Mat was pulled from his thoughts when he heard a knock on his door. The shy banging sound made his heart beat rapidly in an instant, knowing full well that the two of you were alone in the house and that Tito was, in no way, going to be home for another hour or two.

A faint knock follows the first one before he gets to the door. 

“Hi.” you greet him, a moment unfolding like it was déjà-vu.

“Hi.” 

“Did I wake you?” you sheepishly ask, your hands balled into fists before eventually settling down to hug your own build, unsure of where to put your hands exactly.

Mat quickly shakes his head, “No. I couldn’t sleep myself.”

You offer him a smile, acknowledging how he’s been nothing but good to you ever since they got home. Of course you wanted to get your hands on him being that you were completely dry and horny ever since you’ve ignored him completely, but you haven’t gone mad and you weren’t a complete neanderthal. You can keep your hands to yourself and act like a decent human being. 

“I’m sorry for making things weird between us.” you say, your eyes heavy with guilt. “But I’m only apologizing for being so unreasonable for the last couple of weeks.” you reiterated.

To which he only answers with, “You shouldn’t be. You have every right to be unreasonable– and I know that I’ve been a giant prick that day. It’s what I deserve.” he bites his lower lip, scratching his brow as he continues, “That’s why if there’s someone who owes someone an apology, it should be me. What I did was pretty crappy, so… I’m sorry.”

Like all the other times, Mathew towers over you wearing the same confidence he does when you’re around. Your bodies were reasonably apart from each other but close enough to mean something else if someone had walked by. Mathew was still in his room while you were out in the hallway, separated by the thin line made by the door frame. 

You feel Mat’s steady breathing and everything went still. He looks down at you, pretty eyes drowning yours. His messed up bed hair ridiculously makes up for how dressed down he was. No, actually, he looks fine even when he is. And all of that sight instantly makes your throat dry as you feel something curl in your belly, enough to make your hands sweaty as the thought of tasting his lips again cruised your mind entirely.

Mathew was no stranger to the said feeling either. He watched you punish him more at how plump and inviting your lips were. Or how your hand brushed on your clothes as you remain uncomposed under his gaze. 

Mat was becoming accustomed to how the two of you meet. Same time, same place, only this time, a different hallway. He steps further and crosses the line that divides the two of you, making you take a deep breath as his scent floors every nerve in your body. Waking what has been awake ever since that moment you shared back in the living room even more. 

“Yeah, okay.” you gather yourself, “I– I should probably head back.” 

Just by how his shoulders dropped, you knew you had said the wrong thing. And you hated that you did. Mat clears his voice and swallows, breaking off his gaze, “You probably should.” 

“Good night, Mat.” you smile, trying to regain yourself. 

“Good night.” he replies as he watches you turn your back before finally closing the door behind him. 

Frustrated for he was already starting to feel things more than just being “sorry”, Mat leans against the door and runs a hand through his hair. He takes a deep breath and tries to get you out of his head. 

He was about to walk away from the door and sleep off his frustration when he hears your faint footsteps on the other side of the door. He rests his head back on the wooden surface and sighs, “You’re still out there, aren’t you?”

There was a total silence for a moment, devoid of the knowledge of how you had your fist, ready to knock yet again, suspended in mid-air. 

Mathew hears you deny sheepishly, “No.” 

You hear him let out a small laugh, knowing that he was trying to contain himself. 

The door sprung open again, and for a second you thought how what you’re about to walk into will start another mess for you and Mathew. But how could you possibly think about it that way when you have nothing else but this man standing at the other end? 

A friend that took no seconds to waste as he finally lets his thirst and perhaps foolishness, get the better hold of him once he cages your heated face in his hands, crashing into your lips as fast as he’d taken you to his end of that thin gray line that has once irkingly parted him from you. A gray line you’re both willing to cross if that meant sharing another night in between halls and thin walls.

[anyu-blue]

No.

It IS a resounding NO.

Because Covid is STILL killing swaths of people, we just aren't masking (outside of individuals like myself who do) or giving it media attention anymore. And it's mutated (as we were warned it would) so vastly were still not sure we can keep up or prevent it with vaccines.

LONG Covid is impacting almost everyone I know. My household had a confirmed case ONCE because of ONE encounter we were supposed to be able to trust, and we're still not the same years later.

And, sure, the unemployment rate HAS gone down and good things have been set in motion, HOWEVER- most of us are barely scraping by as cost of necessities keep rising by the week and is WHY unemployment has gone down. No one can afford to house another person without a job anymore- making the sick/disabled and the unfit enter the workforce at greater numbers. Because they have no choice. Disability is not enough. Side hustles/ money-making hobbies aren't enough. Literal CHILDREN are being hired (sometimes under the table)!! These all skew the numbers.

I'm honestly sick of seeing my coworkers do price changes- CHEAP shoes currently START at $20. Cheap 'decent' shoes start at $50. Our minimum wage is $10/hr. Do the math of how much of your life it takes to keep buying work shoes- which you're supposed to replace every 8 months - let alone groceries. It used to cost us $150 for a weekly trip. Now for the SAME STUFF, it's $400. So we scramble to find alternatives- anything to knock the cost of FOOD down. Its f*cked with my IBS and food intolerances VERY badly because I'm just trying to eat whatever is cheapest. And its that, or go hungry.

Oh, but despite being sick, we can't go to our hospital because it's full of people who are too tired not to make mistakes OR people who are there for the paycheck and nothing more. And even if we DID go, the co-pays and then costs of that care are higher than ever. $100 WITH INSURANCE (that's also at least $100 a month before co-pays and deductibles) for a generic medication? WTF?

Have I even mentioned the homelessness rate in our state? It has SKYROCKETED while ALSO now being criminalized because there's just so many people in the previous safe havens that they can't hide from the public eye and now authorities-- which leads to overcrowding and, you guessed it, furthering disease in any available housing these desperate people (who ARE working btw- usually because of a grandfather clause or managing to find a way around the 'needing an address' problem some other way.) can find. They just can't afford a home, OR to KEEP their home as the housing prices and property taxes keep going up as well.

A good Gen X friend of mine is terrified she'll lose her house due to these very taxes. She has a cancer treatment she takes (which also costs an arm and a leg) and can only work part time as a teacher because of the side-effects. That doesn't pay a lot.

OH! And that doesn't even touch the fact that we're seeing a genocide and unintentionally helping to pay for it with our damn taxes AND whatever damn company also supports it that sells a product we don't have an alternative but to buy from that brand.

Most of the people I know that fall into those lovely, easy to read numbers and statistics are NOT doing better at ALL. We're INDIVIDUALS, FAMILIES, entire COMMUNITIES who are struggling under the weight of it all while big wigs and jerks who only look at the superficial data and NOT the actual quality of life PEOPLE have get to say we have it SOOO much better than we did 4 years ago.

We don't.

SOME things are better... on paper. The reality is much more dirty than that. It's so, so ugly.

Get off your fucking high-horse, get your nose out of the damn data, and listen to the people's answers.

It IS a resounding NO.

(This isn't a rag on Biden btw. He's imperfect and not helping in some areas, but I DO recognize we are better off than under Trump. HOWEVER, what that man did while in office, AND the stupid ideas it gave to the power hungries STILL in office is part of why we are so absolutely not doing well right now. It takes time and good teams to undo the problems caused - and a lot of the good that SHOULD be here or looks good on paper isn't actually good rn is because of that ripple effect too.)

1. Morning in America

Without irony or embarrassment, Elise Stefanik asks, “Are you better off today than you were four years ago?”

And then Stefanik claims that the answer is “A resounding no.”

AYFKM?

Let’s do this. And I mean, let’s really forking do it.

First, let’s start with the baseline. What was it like four years ago?

At this point in 2020, a few hundred Americans were dying every day from COVID. By April 2020 that number would be over 2,000 dead per day.

[bowandcurtsey]

{Headcanon} Bc boys when you’re on your period

Aunt flo is here and I really want some soft BC boys 🥺

Yami | Nozel | Fuegoleon | William

Yami Sukehiro:

“Babyyyy I want some chocolates and a steak”

He’ll get Charmy to whip up whatever weird cravings you’re asking for, without a single judgment.

When he sees you having cramps, he’ll just scoop you into his arms and spoon you, placing his warm hands on your tummy.

He’ll rub your back and massage where ever you are feeling sore.

Will try his best not to piss you off, but being the blockhead he is, he’ll probably get you riled up A LOT during the time of the month.

“Danjou!” Asta would greet him cheerily. “What are you doing napping on the couch! Did you make y/n paisen angry again?!”

“Beats me Kiddo, one moment I was just breathing and the next moment she threw a brick at me” This man is literally CLUELESS.

“Better run if you can kids, for those that can’t get away, pretend to drop dead” he’d warn the members not to step on your toes.

When you’re feeling emotional, he’ll pull you onto his lap and be really gentle and soft with you; stroking your hair or patting you.

“I know it’s just a really minor issue Baby...” you would sniffle into his chest sometimes, “but it just affects me and I can’t help feeling upset about it-”

“I know baby, it’s not your fault, it’s just part and parcel of being a woman, yeah? Y’know like... some days you’re angry, some days you’re horny, and today is just an emotional day.” he would press soft kisses to the top of your head and you laughed a little. 

“But I won’t deny that the horny days are my favourite,” The black haired man said it so flatly, earning a little smack from you. He’d always cheer you up in his own way. 

“Vanessa, check what kind of - erm, diapers she uses or needs and go to the store with finral to get them” The black bull captain would make it a monthly mission for the girls in the team.

“Danjou for the last time. It’s PADS.”

Nozel Silva

Low key really hates this time of the month.

Will get the servants to prepare whatever you crave for but will not relent to some. “Honey, it is not good for your body to have cold stuff during the time of the month”

Would bring you to eat some amazing steak because “you need to replenish those iron lost, here try, it’s good” he’d feed you. He’d definitely order desserts for you because he knew it was a must during this period.

Buys almost the entire fucking pad section of the store so “You can use whichever you want to” 

Brings extra pillows and blankets into your shared room so you could snuggle more comfortably. 

If you’re feeling really unwell or in pain, he will take some time off work to accompany you; snuggling with you and gently rubbing your sore areas, running his fingers through your hair while you nap in his arms. 

This man would always be appalled when your mood swings came.

“Get off your high horse Mr royalty” you would roll your eyes at him.

His eyes would widen and his brows would furrow. But he knew it would be best not to speak to you because you were simply not yourself. He would just leave you alone. 

“Darling..” you would creep into his office later that day, making your way straight into his lap. You rested your head on his feathery robe as an apology to being a brat earlier on. 

The silver eagle captain would be low key irritated by your mood swings because it was something unpredictable and out of his control, but seeing you all curled up in his lap makes his annoyance all dissipate.

“Shhhh, it’s okay” he’ll pat your head and press soft kisses to your hair.

Fuegoleon Vermillion

Knows your period is coming, tells him it’s coming, but when you’re having your period, this man is still always at a loss.

“Honey are you sure you’ll be okay? You’re just having cramps? Are you sure it’s not an internal injury?”

Will definitely not let you go on any missions “just in case you get cramps suddenly”

Salamander would wrap you up and warm you so you could sleep your cramps away.

“Honey, you can’t drink soup and have ice cream at the same time, you’ll have an upset tummy” he would say it matter-of-factly but would relent when you give him the death glare.

“Darling, could you go to the store and grabs some pads for me?”

Remembers every exact detail of the pad you’ve asked. “The 28cm ones with wings, thin and odourless, in the pink packaging” he’d tell the staff to find it for him.

Will definitely buy you lots of your favourite snack on his way back because Fue is all about spoiling his so.

Once in awhile you’d stain your sheets and you’ll feel really vexed over it. But Fue would run a warm bath for you and get you in while he changes all the sheets and prepares a new set of pjs for you to change into once you’re done with your bath.

Your absolute slave. Shoulder massages, feet rubs, patting you, spooning you, Mr Crimson Lion is at your service.

He would give really gentle and soothing massages and whisper sweet nothings in your ear until you fall asleep. “You’re such a strong person to be going through all of these monthly, Honey..”

William Vangeance

Knows when your period is coming and have all things ready. Pads and tampons for day use, night use and panty liners; all in your favourite brand.

Your cupboard at home is full of your favourite snacks when the time of the month comes.

“Having cramps my love?” He always knew what was up with you and where it always hurts. He’ll always have heat packs prepared for you, even in his office for when you needed it during the day.

After your shower or bath, he would dry your hair for you while you lie on his lap. Makes sure you have thicker socks and comfy Pjs during this few days. 

Would always have a blanket that he’d put in the dryer so that it was nice and warm for you to snuggle in. 

Sometimes, you would stain your pants and he’ll come to your rescue, wrapping his jacket (that he brings around for you) around your waist or just letting you wear his robe.

Would make warm soup for you and spoon feed you on days you didn’t want to get out of bed.

Sometimes when you really craved for cold food, he’ll let you have some and shared with you. “You’ll get cramps if you have too much love,”

Comes home early and brings movies so you two could cuddle on the couch in your pjs.

Will get dismayed over you crying over small little things but also finds it cute at the same time. When you hug him tightly and cry, he couldn’t help it but giggle a little, shaking his head. “It’s okay my love, it’s only in the movie”

No man could escape the wrath of a woman on period, periodt. Even the captain of the golden dawn. “You are just here with me because you’re afraid I’d get mad, not because you really wanted to spend time with me. Your heart is at the Golden Dawn HQ.”

William took about 1 minute to digest what you said and figure out what this tantrum was about. “I could easily figure out the enemy’s motive.. but for my lady I’m always at a loss..” he would think to himself. 

“That’s not true, my love.” He would always reply you calmly and carefully.

“It is.” you pouted a little. 

“Well, I’m not going anywhere, Hq or where ever, I’m gonna catch up on (anime/name) , are you joining me or not?” He’ll open his arms wide towards you. 

-end-

ヽ(`Д´)ﾉ  I need me a soft fluffy captain rn

[ironmandeficiency]

pedro boys + spending habits

word count: fuck if i know, wrote it thru the app

characters: din, marcus m, dave, pero, marcus p, oberyn, max, frankie, whiskey, maxwell, javier, ezra

a/n: idk what caused this to happen but it works i guess. hope they make sense

✨support my ko-fi✨

trust him with your money, your drink, your social security number, everything:

din. this man is barely scraping by on his own when you first meet him. when he adds the kid to the mix, he gets even more frugal than he already is with an old as sin ship that many people are surprised to see fly. he will have a policy of “you earn it, you choose what to do with it” and since he goes after most of (if not all) the bounties to keep you all alive, he has the final say in how most of the credits are spent. he does want you to have nice things though, so he makes sure to configure the budget to where you don’t have to pour your credits into the group’s survival money very often. it’s the least he can do. he’s very big on taking care of his people and will show that in small ways.

marcus m. he’s a single dad for a significant amount of time, he has no choice but to be responsible with his money. he has to take care of missy, keep them both fed and housed and healthy, and that’s not even touching on how expensive all of high school graduation and college will be once she gets there. he teaches missy very early in life how important money is bc he doesn’t want her to ever know how it feels to not have enough. he makes a considerable amount of money w the heroics tho so he can afford to responsibly splurge on you both, but not constantly. is very cautious abt the splurging becoming a habit

dave. yeah he may be a murderer, but he’s scary great at managing his money (to continue being able to murder). he’s got his ex wife’s alimony (that still pisses him off but that’s another story) and two girls he takes care of, there’s no other choice for him either. there’s never a worry about dave having a midlife crisis and spending money on some stupid dad thing (like a motorcycle or assless chaps or a country club membership) because he murders to keep his mind off that sort of stuff. files his taxes diligently every year the day tax season starts and will pass this wisdom to the girls.

pero. he’s very good at judging if you need something or not. if it can’t feed you, keep you healthy, kill someone, or protect you, you don’t need to buy it. definitely not a man who indulges in trinkets and frivolous things that do nothing but weigh down his horse and his person. will encourage this way of thinking with whoever travels with him to whatever extent he can, but won’t be a dick about it if you have something sentimental on your person. if it’s a necessity, he will splurge on a bed and bath at an inn but not much else for a while. cheap because he has to be

marcus p. i don’t think i have to explain this one so i won’t. no i’m not being lazy who said that?

maybe you’ll be fine if he’s in charge. maybe:

oberyn. being a prince (and himself), there are different ways this could go. he spends his money frivolously at brothels & on his daughters + other loved ones (as well as other luxuries) and doesn’t really seem to be the type to keep tabs on it all as he goes. but... he’s a prince in a prosperous kingdom and so there isn’t really a worry for money. he’s known as the red viper for many reasons, including his clever nature and the ease with which he can get what he wants thru whatever means necessary. if you want for something that he can’t buy, you know he will find a way to get it for you (which can be a problem sometimes).

max. he’s good with money in the sense of perpetuating capitalism — that’s the red flag here. hell, he’s gonna be investing into bitcoin and who knows what stock market bs & bc it’s max, of course you trust him. max can’t control the stock market tho, so sometimes things are a little iffy. it always evens itself out though, and you make sure in the future that he invests his money instead of your joint money. he’s still gonna share anyways, it just helps you have a little more peace of mind.

frankie. he just wants to take care of you, okay? you can’t fault him for that 🥺 he maneuvers his budget around to make sure he can do all these nice things for you while leaving his own needs unchecked, which isn’t okay. he just wants to provide for the ppl he loves the best he can, but the problem begins when he starts to think he isn’t doing enough. his insecurity & lack of self-worth (fueled by his guilt for “not being everything you deserve”) is what makes him agree to the Trip™️ in the first place. once he comes back & sees you frantic, only wanting him home and not giving a flying fuck about the money, does he realize that you’re devoted to him and not what he can do for you.

whiskey. working for statesman made him forget what things really cost bc he suddenly never had to worry again about not having enough money. being with someone that isn’t practically made of money will snap him back into reality. he looks at his bank statements and his balance occasionally, but our big spender cowboy hasn’t really counted money as something he worries about for a while. when he constantly showers you in expensive gifts (only the best for his baby, that’s his motto) and you tell him that he has to not do that bc he’ll go broke, he plays it off because he doesn’t remember having to worry. separate bank accounts are only because you want to make sure your money is being spent smartly (even though jack has offered constantly to pay for literally anything you need).

don’t give him anything you want to see again:

maxwell. as much as i love this dork, he’s absolute shit with money. when his business is falling apart (bc he made the stupid ass decision to buy the oil rigs no one wanted bc they weren’t producing oil), he throws it all into saving face and trying to make investors buy into something that isn’t there. what a smart business man would’ve done was liquidate his assets and possibly try to get into a business that will yield at least some profit. he does learn his lesson tho and eventually can be trusted with money, but even he is hesitant to do anything with the household finances. he’s a dreamer, and dreams and money are the same as oil and water.

javier. i know you’re possibly surprised but hear me out. he’ll go all in to get info, whether he’s spending american taxpayer money or his own money or anyone else’s, if it’s valuable info that can be bought, it’s gonna be bought even if he goes without groceries for the next two weeks. before being with you, it was booze and prostitutes and cigarettes that ate away at his checks outside of buying information. the only thing that really changed once you got together was the prostitutes and slightly less cigarettes and booze. however, when he goes back to laredo permanently, he’s perfectly capable of keeping his shit in line. he’ll balance every checkbook in sight and run a tight af ship.

ezra. this man is a scavenger by necessity, a con man by choice. he has a silver tongue and a roguish charm and pretty questionable morals; he’s not gonna have any issue with getting his hands dirty. he’s probably gonna use your joint money to try and pull a fast one on some unsuspecting stranger (“it’ll double our money,” he says, “it’ll be fine,” he says), but then said stranger will end up turning the tables and leave you both absolutely broke. yeah he will feel guilty, no doubt. the only problem is that he won’t take it as a “hey don’t do it again” lesson, it’ll be a “this is how i can improve for next time.” eventually you have to put your foot down and take control of the money and when he realizes that you’re improving your lives much better than he is, he will thank you for it.

all pedro character taglists: @likeshootingstarsinthenightsky @obirain @leias-left-hair-bun @themarcusmoreno @catsnkooks @captainrexstan @mackstrut @torradoza @simping-for-fives @stardustsunrisekisses @darthadeline @artemis61003 @majorshiraharu @getdookuedon @capricornrabies @max--phillips @darklingveracruz @book-of-anarchy @andysficrecs @purelypascal @whovianwar @lv7867 @hornystarwarsbisexual @kaermorons @princess76179 @pedropasscals @greeneyedblondie44 @seasonschange-butpeopledont @qhbr2013 if you don’t want to be tagged, lemme know!! the link to join is in my bio

[esdithequeen]

Basics of Thievery

Read on AO3

Rijha gets mugged, but like, not really

Rijha revelled in the warmth of sunlight as it streamed down through the trees, the autumnal foliage of the Rift casting the road in a kaleidoscope of red and gold. Clear skies seemed to be a rare commodity in Skyrim, which made her dread the upcoming journey to Solitude for Delphine’s little plan; she had yet to travel so far north.

Below her Alfsigr nickered and pulled at the reins, prompting Rijha to run a hand up under the mare’s mane and found it damp with sweat, “Time for a break then, serush?” It certainly would hurt, they were still a few hours from Ivarstead afterall. They veered off the road towards the river. Alfsigr was quick to take a long drink, while Rijha used the remaining contents of her waterskin to wash off the sweat. They could probably do with getting her fur clipped, as even though winter was far behind them it was still thick enough for Rijha to run her fingers through. Perhaps someone in Ivarstead would be able to do it while she was up at High Hrothgar.

When she was certain that Alfsigr was cooled off, Rijha crouched beside the river to refill the waterskin, and took a swig. The sound of leaves under foot caught her ear, but she paid no mind to it. The ringing of metal filled the air.

There was a blade at the back of her neck.

“Hand over your valuables.”

Slowly, Rijha turned to her assailant. He was a scrappy little thing, bowlegged and knuckles white around a cheap iron dagger. She pushed the blade away from her face with careful hands, and tilted her head to get a better look under his hood, “What are you doing?”

“Fuck do you mean? I’m robbing you.”

Rijha gave him a scrutinising look, “With that stance?” The thief squirmed under her gaze. He seemed like he was about to back down, but then puffed his chest out and tried again.

“If you don't hand over all your stuff right now I’ll— I’ll gut you like a fish.”

“I’d like to see you try.” He lunged for her and she grabbed his wrist, disarming and knocking him to the ground in one swift movement. She stood above the thief, twirling the dagger that was now in her hands, “Now, see, your first problem is that someone of your size can’t just use brute force, it’s not our way and, well, it just doesn't work, you know? Especially up here where every other person is built like a stone fortress. Secondly, you’re way too stiff.” Rijha grabbed the boy by his arm and pulled him up onto his feet, “Right, point your feet forward, shoulders width apart, bend your knees a little and bring yourself up onto your toes. That’s it. Do you feel more mobile now?”

“I… guess so?”

“Good. Here,” she offered back his knife, “Relax your grip a little, as long as you hold it correctly you won’t drop it. Now the only time you should be facing someone with a knife is for self defence, so bring your arms up, your free hand by your face so you can guard if need be. Getting stabbed in the arm is better than getting stabbed in the eye, yes?”

“Yeah.” Rijha stepped back and let him make a few practice swings. The improvement was immediate.

“Much better! You’re more balanced, you can move around easily, all it takes is correcting your stance. But remember, this is just self defence, if you want to rob people you need to use less knife and more brain.”

The thief straightened his back, “Are you saying I’m dumb?”

“I’m saying my horse was right there, you probably could have taken my saddlebags without me noticing.” He looked back at where Alfsigr was grazing by the river.

“Oh.”

“The key is being subtle. Ditch the hood and the armour, if you just look like a passerby, another nameless face in the crowd, no one will suspect you. Cut their purses from their belts as you walk past or get a friend to act as a distraction while you pick a few pockets. Truth is, most people won’t notice you, but what they will notice is some shifty hooded person skulking around, and that’s what's going to get you caught.” Rijha returned to Alfsigr’s side, pulled out a small bag of coins and chucked it his way, “Here, I’ll give a head start.”

He looked down at the bag as he caught it, before looking up at her in confusion, “Who are you?”

Pulling herself up into the saddle, Rijha put on her most innocent voice, “Me? Oh, I’m just some middle-aged washed up adventurer making the rounds, no one special. Shadows hide you, friend.” With that, she pushed Alfsigr forward, continuing on towards Ivarstead.

-

The Ragged Flagon was quiet, as it often was these days. No one had the money to buy drinks, and Vekel was getting stingy about not giving anything out on the house. Brynjolf sighed into his ale as he looked over the guild finances. Nothing but losses. The door to the cistern opened, and Delvin nudged his shoulder.

“Look who’s finally back.”

Brynjolf turned his head to see the new footpad, exhaustion written all over his face, “Well, I’ll be, we weren’t sure you’d show up again, lad. Find anything decent?”

“Yeah, sure, I guess you could say that.” He dropped his pack onto the table, and Delvin nearly choked on his drink when he peeked inside. Brynjolf abandoned his paperwork to help clear out the bag. It was mostly coin, and a few trinkets, but it was more than anyone else had brought in all month. Delvin wasted no time in counting it all out, while the footpad slumped down in a chair, face hidden in his hands.

“You alright, lad?”

He let out a long sigh, “I just… had the weirdest experience of my entire life.” The two older thieves shared a look. This should be interesting.

“Go on then, lad. Tell us all about it.”

[happys-crazy-queen22]

Brother From Another

Gif credit @alfiessolomvns​

Spoilers maybe??? 

Hope you all enjoy it. 

Happy Reading Dollies. 

 "Oscar, please". Cesar was begging Oscar to help him with the profit$.

"You're not welcomed here. You're a disgrace to the Santos. You're no longer my brother". Oscar spoke harshly to his brother as you listened from the door way.

"What am I supposed to do? I have no where to go". Cesar cried.

"Figure it out. I dont care". Oscar said as he came back to the porch. You shook your head not agreeing with Oscar's choice even if you were his girlfriend. You didn't see how he could just throw his brother away.

"Cesar"? You called out as he went to walk off.

Oscar got in your way as you went to walk down the steps. "This is not your problem so stay out of it". He growled grabbing your arm, making you chuckle.  Like he was the boss of you.

"Get out of my way now". You pushed him aside and captured Cesar in a hug. He cried into your shoulder.

"So what now? You going to rescue little ol' Cesar? He needs to learn that he should finish what he started".

"He's fifteen, Oscar. He doesn't need a gang leader he needs a brother. Get off your high horse and help him".

"No".

"Then I guess we're done here. Let's go Cesar". You wrapped your arm around Cesar and lead him to your house right across the road. You'd been living there since you were a kid, Oscar was you first and only love.  That's why you couldn't see him doing this to Cesar.  

"I dont want to cause any trouble for you, Y/N". Cesar frowned as he laid out a sheet over the couch.

"You're not Cesar. Oscar will come to his right mind".

"I'm talking about the Prophet$. They're after me and they'll use anybody I care about to get to me. I just dont want to see you get hurt. Then Spooky will kill me".

"Cesar, I'm a big girl I can take care of myself. Dont worry about your brother I can take care of him too". You said with a wink. Cesar laughed. You were like a mom to him after his and Oscar's mom died. Oscar took over as the dad and you took over as the mom. You practically moved in with them. Your parents didn't like it but you love Oscar and would do anything for him except kick his brother out of your life.

The next morning you got up and fixed breakfast, bacon, eggs and cinnamon rolls filled the air. Cesar didn't even bother putting on clothes like always as he came from the couch.

"Good morning, sleepy head. Did you sleep okay"? You asked putting a plate of food down in front of Cesar.

"Yeah, it was alright. Thanks".

"I'll fix up the spare room and you can take it".

"You dont have to do that. The couch is fine". Cesar said with a mouthful of food.

"You're not sleeping on the couch for God knows how long. You're taking the room, final answer". You messed up his bedhead ruffling it with your hand.

"So I'm going to the market, do you want or need anything"?

"Can we have those spicy tamales that you make tonight"?

"Yes, we can. I'll get the ingredients. After we'll go over and get your stuff".

"No, I'm good".

"Cesar, you can't wear the same boxers forever. You need your school books and all that other shit in your room. Dont be afraid of Oscar. I'll deal with him if he runs his mouth. Now eat up, there's plenty here. I'm going to head out. Make yourself at home. Just stay out of my room and don't open the second bottle drawer in the bathroom, you won't like what you see. It will give you nightmares". You laugh as you open the front door.  

"If it's pictures of Oscar naked then I'll be okay. I lived with the guy".

"Whatever suit yourself. Just dont say I didn't warn you. Bye". You waved and locked the door. Cesar ate his breakfast in peace with a smile on his face.

"We need to talk". You heard the familiar voice of your boyfriend and the sound of his car coming up behind you as you walked to your car.

"Is it an apology to your brother"? You asked sarcastically putting your keys in to unlock your car.

"No. I'm worried about you. You dont know what you're getting yourself into with Cesar and the Prophet$".

"Listen, I have been with you since forever. When you went to prison or got the shit kicked out of you. Got shot, cut. I've seen it all and dealt with it. Cesar is no different. Except he doesn't get the after care that you got". You smirked strutting over to him popping your hips.  

"He better not. I'll take him out myself". Oscar growled pulling you into his, wrapping his arms around your waist. You wrapped your arms around his neck, kissing his lips. It was only a few hours but you missed him like crazy.

"Easy baby. But you seriously need to help him out. He's  scared. He doesn't know what to do. He's not a Santos like you are, he's not meant to be here".

"Then he should have pulled the trigger. He had two chances and blew both of them".

"Hes not like you. He doesn't have the gene in his body that can take a life".

"That's what a Santos does. He grows balls and gets things done when someone steps over the line and disrespects them".

"You're so full of yourself Diaz. You're his older brother, you're supposed to have his back no matter what".

"I tried to help him out. He didn't listen. He thinks this is a game".

"He's fifteen. He's in high school. What do you want him to do? Be a dropout so he can become a full Santos"?

"I want him to grow up and be a man".

"Then he needs a different male figure in his life because you, you're not cutting it. I need to go". You walked off back to your car

Oscar sighed. "Are you packing heat"?

"Just the heat between my thighs". You giggled sticking your tongue out at him.

"I'm being serious".

"No, I dont need it because nothing is going to happen. If you really want to help me. Then help Cesar bring his stuff from your house to mine. I'm cleaning the spare bedroom out for him".

"I can't".

"Then go home and don't come back". You jumped in the car and started the engine, driving off.  

Oscar stood there for a moment contemplating whether or not to do as you asked but he shrugged it off and left.

Cesar felt bad for just staying without paying anything. You just taking him in.  He decided to start cleaning the room. It was mostly totes that were never put in the garage. Random things you threw in there to get out of the way when company came over. He picked up and swept the floor. Dusted the cobwebs down. Killed a few spiders, the usual. He washed the breakfast dishes and cleaned up the living room. The bathroom he tried to clean up but every time in went in the drawer was calling his name and didn't want you not to trust him so he didn't go in there. The house was looking great and just in time when you pulled up.

"Hey". Cesar came out to the car and helped brought  in groceries.

"Holy crap, the house is clean and it smells good". You gasped as you entered the house sparkled, you thought you were the only one that could do that.

"Its a thank you for letting me stay. I'll find a job and help out with the bills".

"Speaking of jobs, you have a interview with Jamals dad at his barbeque place tomorrow".

"You were gone a hour, how did you manage that too"? Cesar laughed, helping you put up the groceries.

"He was there buying somethings and I maybe over heard he was hiring new help so wala". You giggled wiggling your fingers in his face.

"Great. Thank you".

"It's no problem. Just helping my little brother out".

"So, I did somethings too. Come see". Cesar grabbed your wrist and lead you to the spare bedroom. It fantastic but you saw that Oscar didnt help him out like you asked.

"Wow, you're really out doing yourself. I never seen you as a cleaning person. You two are so messy".

"Well, I was bored so I figured why not tackle the bedroom. I tried to do the bathroom but".

"You wanted to snoop I knew it". You laughed going back into the kitchen.

"But I didn't. I promise. I dont want you not to trust me".

"Cesar, I trust you".

"Thanks". He smiled widely.

"Lets get dinner started and then we'll go get some stuff".

"Okay". He nodded and helped get the ingredients ready. You and Cesar sat in the kitchen making tamales and talking about well Oscar. You both missed him and now you were just supposed to forget him since he forgot about his kid brother.

"They're finished". You squealed with the hot dish in your hands.

"Yum. Can't wait". Cesar licked his lips as you sat the dish down in front of him.

"Dig in. But save some for Oscar". He looked at you confused but nodded his head that he understood.

After dinner, you wrapped up some tamales and walked over to Oscars place. All the lights were on, music was playing and you heard some people laughing in side.

"Come on lets go. We can do this another time". Cesar groaned.

"No, you have school tomorrow and you need your books. Let's go inside". You pulled on his shirt and walked threw the front door. There were three Santos members sitting at the table playing dominos. Two sitting on the couch talking to Oscar and he had a lady friend on his lap. Which pissed you the fuck off.

"What the hell are you two doing here"? One Santos from the couch got up.

"We're here to get somethings and I brought these for Oscar but it seems he's already had dinner". You eyed the girl sitting on his lap.

"You bet he has". She said running her long boney fingers down his chest. You gulped down your tears looking away from them.

"Get your shit and leave". Oscar spat out.

"Fine, asshole". You slammed the tamales in the trash as you walked by going to Cesars room.

Cesar packed quickly, you tried to help but you just starred out in space. You must have folded the same shirt three times before Cesar brought you to reality.

"You okay"?

"Yeah, you ready"?

"One thing". He went into the bathroom and grabbed the neckless he took off, it was given to him by his mother and it was dear to him.

"Alright let's go". He said grabbing his bag. "I would ask if you wanted to get your things but that might cause trouble".

"I'll get it later. I have shit to give to him as well".

"I'm sorry". Cesar patted your shoulder.

"Thanks". You took a deep breath and walked down the hall with Cesar, you actually made eye contact with Oscar but you looked away. He still looks.

"Thanks for letting him get his things". You spoke not directly looking at anyone.

You and Cesar walked out the front door, Oscar pushed the girl from his lap and got up and walked to the door. Watching as you two walked down the sidewalk. In the corner of his eye he could see a car coming down the road oddly slow. A man put his arm out of the car. Oscar panicked and ran out the door, jumping on you and Cesar as the shots rang threw the air when the car road by.

Oscar held you close, you heard his heart pounding like a sledgehammer. Cesar cover his head with his hands under the weight if you and Oscar. The cars wheels screeched at they sped off. The other Santos came charging out of the house guns blazing.

"Follow them"! Oscar yelled, pointing to hid crew. They jumped into their car and flashed away.

"Are you okay"? He asked pulling you up and checking you over. His hands cupping your face.

"I'm fine". You spoke quietly a tear coming down your cheek.

Oscar pulled you into a tight hug, kissing your temple. He noticed Cesar sobbing as he was scared, he pulled him into the hug as well. You wrapped your arms around them both.

"Everything's going to be okay". Oscar kept saying.

That night Oscar slept at your house since he didnt want you two being alone. Cesar slept in his nice clean room while you tossed and turned all night.

Since you couldn't sleep you went into the kitchen to get a glass of milk maybe it will help you but you figured why not have some cookies as well.

"Why are you not a sleep"? Oscar spoke scaring the shit out of you that you dropped your cookie in your milk.

"Don't do that. You know I hate that. Geez".

"Sorry. You okay"?

"I'm fine. Just couldn't sleep, figured I'll eat a midnight snake. You want some"? You over the bag of cookies to him, he declined.

Oscar just watched you as you dunked your cookie and ate it. "What"? You said with a mouth full.

"I didn't sleep with that girl".

"No but you probably did other things".

"I didn't. I wouldn't cheat on you. You mean more to me than that puta".

"Then why was she on your lap"?

"Honestly, I seen you coming up the sidewalk and I just pulled her on my lap. I guess to make you jealous".

"But you didn't make me jealous. You hurt me. Cesar asked if I wanted to get my stuff. That's how close I was to ending it".

"I'm sorry. I really am. I hate apologizing but I will apologize to you forever if I have too".

"Okay. You're forgiven, just dont ever do that again".

"I won't. I promise". Oscar slid over the counter and kissed your milk covered lips, grabbing a cookie too.

"Cesar"? You asked getting a confused look as Oscar looked around the room.

"What about him"?

"What are your plans on helping him? He needs you Oscar, he'll die without your help".

"I've told you, I can't. I won't".

"Then in the morning see yourself out". The last thing you said to him, grabbing the cookies and you glass going to your room. Oscar sighed, his head hanged low.

Morning came, the sun was shining, birds were chirping and you hated it. All you wanted to do was sleep but you had to get Cesar off to school. Getting up with a grumble you went to the kitchen to make his lunch surprisingly he was eating a bowl of cereal in his school clothes.  Oscar must have left before Cesar got up, he was no where to be found.

"You're up early. Thought I would have to drag your butt out of bed". You teased, he let a snicker.

"I couldn't sleep so I did one hundred push ups, sixty crunches, ironed my pants, ate a whole bag of chips and watched a little tv".

"Sounds like a fun night".

"Can I asked you something"? Cesar put his spoon in his bowl and gave you his undivided attention.

"Sure". You reply making a large pot of coffee.

"Did I break you and Oscar up"?

"What? No, he did that. He could have helped you but all he did was think about himself and his little gang".

"I heard what happened last night".

"Cesar you did nothing. It was all Oscar, maybe I had something to do with it but it was mostly him".

"But before I messed up. You and Oscar were so tight. You helped out and moved in. You two were so lovey dovey that it was sickening but now you two can't even be in the same room without fighting. It's like my parents are getting a divorce".

"Oh Cesar, I'm sorry. I'll try and talk to Oscar again. You better get to school and be safe. Dont forget about the interview'.

"I'm sorry too. I haven't forgotten". He slightly smiled and grabbed his bookbag heading out. You sighed and got a cup of coffee. Not even bothering with putting on clothes you walked over to Oscar's to find him working on his car. He did that most of the time when he needed to clear his head and think about things. So you guessed he had a lot on his mind.

"You want some"? You offered Oscar your coffee. He gladly took it.

"Thanks".

"You're welcome". You sighed, leaning against the car.

"So, what's on your mind"? Biting the inside of your cheek waiting for his answer.

"Trying to come up with a way to help Cesar out without going against my crew".

"Really"? You said excitingly, Oscar smiled wide as he saw how happy you were.

"Yeah. He's my little brother and he's the only family I got besides you. I'm still hoping that I have you".

"You always have me. Even when your being a idiot. I love you". You cooed wrapping your arms around his waist, laying your head on his chest.

"I love you too. I promise that I'm going to help Cesar out and there's going to be no more fighting ever between us". He raised your chin with his finger.

"We're going to make it. I'm going to marry you and we're going to have a family".

"Woah, where did this come from"?

"I've been thinking, I dont want to have to choose between my family and my crew. Because most of the time I'm choosing them over you. I can't do it anymore".

"I'm pleased to hear that. I can't wait for all this to be over and we can start a new chapter in our lives". You leaned forward and captured a kiss from the man of your dreams, the love of your life, the soon to be husband and father of your children.

"So how are we going to handle this"?

"Cesar and I have it figured out. That's all you need to know".

"Please tell me he’s actually going to school today"? You had a gut feeling something was up and they both weren't giving you all the details. 

"He's going to be fine. I promise". He kissed your forehead and went to get in his car, shutting the hood.

"If you're putting him in any danger, we're done. I'm not having that done to my kids".

"I'm not. I'll have him back before dinner.  I love you". He started the car.

"I love you too. Come home safe". You stepped out of the way for him to leave. Running back to your place, you called Cesar. No answer. You called Ruby and Monse no answer. Jamal answered but he yelled at you for interrupting his learning.  So you figured they didn't know about Cesar and Oscar plan. You were left clueless and guessing. It ate at you. Knowing they might not be coming home.

The street lights were coming on as dinner was half way done. Still nothing from Cesar and Oscar. You got so worried that you picked up a new habit, smoking. You smoked the whole pack that Oscar left. This man was going to either kill you from worry or send you to prison.

Pouring your third glass of wine, you heard Oscar's car pull in your drive way. You ran out and started crying as you saw both of them happy and smiling. They were both safe and at home.

"Hey, baby girl". Oscar laughed, when you jumped on him.

"I'm going to kill both of you.  I'm so happy you're both alright. But I'm going to kill you".

"Easy, little mama. We're both fine and Cesar's good".

"He's clear"?

"All taken care of. Dont have to worry about anything".

"But how"? Oscar sat you down on the couch and they sat beside you.

"Cesar came to me last night. I had left after our chat and we came up with a plan to take down the Prophet$ all together".

"Jamal helped a little".

"The rollerworld money"?

"Right. See I sent Cesar in to give himself up and pay for safety for his friends. They took the money and then I went into buy him out with the rest of the roller world money. They believed it".

"What happens when they figure it out or if they spent that money? They're going to come after you". You started to panic.

"Calm down". Oscar rubbed your thigh as he turned on the news. The prophet$ main house was getting busted. All the members were in cuffs and on their way to jail.

"We got them all". Cesar and Oscar grinned.

"How"?

"A little tip and these bitches like to shop. They already spent twenty grand of it in the last couple hours. Buying new shoes and jewelry. That's how they got caught".

"It's genius. Oh my God I love you so much". You kissed Oscar's lips hard. Cesar scrunched up his nose and looked away.

"We're safe and free". Cesar cheered trying to break you away with his happiness. "And I got the job".

"That's wonderful". You say, then going back to Oscar's lips.

"I can't wait to start". You whispered in Oscar's ear.

"So Cesar, how about you go see your friends"?

"But I'm hungry".

Oscar pulled out twenty dollars and handed it to Cesar nodding to the front door.  

"I can take a hint". Cesar laughed as he walked out.

"I love you". You straddled  Oscar's waist.

"I love you so much. Come here". Oscar pulled you into a kiss, his hands locked around you.

Finally it was all over and everyone came out safe and sound.  A little bumps in the road but it made you and Oscar stronger. Things were about to change and Oscar couldn't wait. He was getting tired of the old lifestyle, he wanted new with you and his little brother.

[imagine-loki]

Country Entertainment

TITLE: Country Entertainment

  CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: 1 / ?

  AUTHOR: brightsun-and-darkmidnight

  ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Loki wooing you at an amusement part in the game area

  RATING:  Teen …? I think..?

  NOTES/WARNINGS: Maybe bad flirting? I am trying to make it fluffy

  My Ao3: brightsun_and_darkmidnight

  *FINALLY..Read the warnings. Once you agree you can handle it…

   ~ ~ ENJOY  ~ ~

Loki felt the gentle hand of his mother on his shoulder.

  Frigga smiled once Loki took his eyes off of the huge pig.

  “Let’s go see the events in the arena.”

  Loki nodded as the auctioneer started taking bids. Odin threw his hand up for the bid. 

  A few steps away and Thor caught up with Loki and Frigga.

  Thor gently hugged Frigga, “my friends are here. We were going to enjoy rides and play the games.”

  Frigga gave Thor a knowing look before speaking, “have fun and make sure you eat something.” Frigga pointed a finger at Thor, “make sure your FRIENDS eat too.”

  Thor smiled sheepishly. “Yes mother. Enjoy the show, it is barrel racing now right?”

  “It is. Now behave." 

  Frigga took Loki’s elbow and guided him to the entrance after Thor assured her the things she demanded would be honored. Frigga and Loki watched the riders but Frigga quickly had a favorite.

  Frigga tapped Loki’s arm as she exclaimed. "Look at her! Wow!”

  Loki smiled at his mother’s enthusiasm

  “She has excellent position on her horse, you can tell how much she trained! She has to be first place!”

  Loki looked at the score and the girl was .63 seconds away from the winner.

  “That’s a load of shit. She was the best!" 

  Loki’s eyes widened, "mother." 

  "Sorry dear. Well. I better get back to your father. You go have fun.”

  Loki nodded and went in search for Hela or Thor.

  Seeing Hela at a ring toss game he went over.

  Hela was talking to the worker and the woman smiled, making Hela turn. Hela went back to talking to the worker. Loki didn’t feel too wanted but sometimes Hela is better company than Thor at fairs. Thor and his friends always tried to hook up with whoever they could. Their flirting was absolutely terrible.

  Hela shook the woman’s hand, “bet you another 50 dollars.”

  “You’re on!”

  Hela turned to Loki, “dad get anything good to eat?”

  Loki shrugged, “mother and I watched barrel racing.”

  Loki watched the women exchange looks.

  Hela gave the woman money and a bucket of rings were placed in front of Loki. He rose an eyebrow and was about to ask a question.

  “You are gonna need to practice. Get all of those knives for me.”

  Loki quickly caught onto the game. The rings were meant to go around the knives in the center of the stand, but to make things a little more difficult the podiums spun so the knives were constantly moving. With a few practice throws Loki got the hang of it.

  The woman working the stand put the 5th knife on a pile. “He is really good.”

  Hela’s smile was heard in her voice as Loki got another knife. “You are gonna owe me that 50 dollars!”

  The woman huffed when Loki pointed to another knife with a ring around it. 

  “The freaking bucket cost 20 dollars, and he is gonna take all the knives!”

  Hela smirked. “Maybe you should have bet lower.”

  “I didn’t know your brother is really good at throwing stuff!”

  Movement caught Loki’s attention when someone moved fast to jump over the stand.

  It was a girl with tangled hair pushed back away from her face. She had a tight dark green tank top with a flannel around her waist. With tight jeans and dirty boots. The odd thing about her is she was wearing a bow around her neck.

  The girl wrapped her arms around the worker. “Hey big sis!”

  The worker wrapped an arm around the girl then stated, “Maggi. Fix your hair." 

  Maggie gave her sister a cocky smile. "I did. You know its because of the spoiled princess" 

  Hela laughed, "Comeon Sam, your sister is a sass master.”

  Maggie’s sister, Sam groaned. “Fuck off." 

  Maggie smiled, "life would be so dull without me.”

  Loki smiled and went back to playing the game… that he might have briefly forgotten.

  Sam asked nudging her, “What place babyswiss?”

  She gestured towards the bow around her neck, “Second. .63 seconds.”

  Loki got another knife added to the pile.

  Loki glanced at the girl and the clothes were the same as Frigga’s favorite rider.

  Hella held out a hand to the woman who slaps $50 in her hand.

  The sister explained to Maggie’s questionable face. “Hella said you would be under a minute.”

  Maggie drawled, “How nice to believe in me…”

  The sister defended herself as she set a new knife in Loki’s pile, “Listen we knew you would lose because that spoiled bitch would get rid of the horse.”

  Maggie shrugged her shoulders, “Now if someone beat her time before I had to go…”

  Sam talked again. “You’d be able to buy a new vehicle with your winnings.”

  Another knife added to Loki’s collection.

  Sam grumbled, “And buy my new supply of knives.”

  Hela laughed.

  Maggie exclaimed, “my jeep runs great. Just got a few things that need upgraded. I dont need something fast.”

  A squeaky voice made Loki want to cringe.

  “My truck would beat your shit jeep anyday. I would beat you at anything anyway.”

  A few laughs were heard but Loki kept his eyes on the game.

  Maggie leaned on the counter with a smile, “How about we ride something between our legs Princess?”

  The supposed princess laughed. “Right and what do you have in mind?”

  Maggie winked, “Your boyfriend seems ready." 

  Hela turned, both her and Sam laughed.

  Maggie laughed as well, "just kidding but I’m not kidding when I say you guys need to work on blood circulation above the shoulders. You might not use your brain often but it’s kinda important..”

  Loki sees the Maggie smirk and the princess one looks confused until she looks at her boyfriend’s crotch.

  A few laughed at the huff from the girl.

  Maggie continued with a dramatic eye roll, “I mean something with intelligence. A HORSE.”

  The cringeworthy voice held a cocky tone. “I won first place, what makes you think you can win?”

  Maggie shrugged standing up tall. “You said any condition anyway you could beat me. I want to get another shot at proving you wrong.”

  The girl laughed briefly. “Whatever. Cover that huge forehead of yours… is an hour too short of time to be presentable?”

  Maggie was running her fingers through her tangled hair. “Can I borrow a brush? No? Okay, I figured you always have your entire beauty necessities with you.” Maggie was working on forcing a knot to come undone. “Don’t wait up for me, I’m sure you are going to need the whole time actually learning how to gear your horse.”

  The other girl walked away with an eye roll and dramatic stomp.

  Hella laughed. “Well. I’m looking forward to this.”

  Sam cheered, “record it!”

  Maggie leaned her hip against the counter, “yeah let me know her reaction when I don’t show up.” She winced as she undid the knot in her hair by pulling it.

  Loki got another new knife set down in his pile.

  Hela patted Loki’s shoulder. “Just a couple more Loki. Good job.”

  Maggie exclaimed, “Is he getting all the knives?!”

  Hela smiled, “yep. I got 50 dollars saying, my brother, Loki, is going to get me one of every knife. With only one bucket of rings.”

  Maggie’s smile faltered a bit when Loki looked right at her.

  He shrugged. “My sister likes knives.”

  Sam huffed in annoyance, “and he is really good at this game.”

  Loki seen familiar blonde hair and went back to tossing the rings.

  Fandral leaned onto the counter making Maggie eye him oddly.

  Fandral winked. “You are a beautiful woman and I would love to see where those tan lines end..”

  Maggie’s face fell to a stoic expression. “Maybe they don’t.”

  Hela rolled her eyes and Sam glared at Fandral.

  Fandral continued not getting that he was unwanted. “I would love to take you on the Farris wheel. See the fair’s lights and how the moonlight makes your eyes shine.”

  Maggie rolled her eyes. “I don’t like heights.”

  “I could hold you and keep you safe in my arms.”

  “Strong arms are not going to help anyone from a fall like that.”

  “Ah yes. A graceful angel Falling hard for a man like me. It must have hurt.”

  “Actually to get here, I clawed my way up.”

  Fandral laughed, “all the better.”

  “Maybe you could kiss my hand better after sporting a black eye for the next victim of poor flirtation.” Maggie gave Fandral a sweet smile.

  “Surely a woman like you can be wooed.”

  “Get a ring around the blade of my favorite knife. You get as many chances as one bucket can hold.”

  Fandral sees Loki’s pile of knives, “well then do me a favor my REALLY good friend and help me.”

  Maggie crossed her arms and leaned back against the stand “If he does it, he gets the date. You are on your own.”

  Loki looked in his bucket and had 14 rings left and had 5 more knives to get. 

  Hela patted Loki’s shoulder. “Get her FAVORITE knife. You need a date.”

  Loki rolled his eyes. “I didn’t know there was more to this game than winning knives.” Loki threw a ring and got it around a butterfly knife.

  Hela took it from the pile and started doing tricks with it.

  Marigold got a knife out of her back pocket and was talking with Hela about tricks.

  Loki had 2 more knives to get but only 5 rings.

  Fandral was only able to get 3 knives in his haste and earned the laughs of Thor.

  Sif offers Fandral a fry and says, “Pitty offering”

  Fandral takes it and bites it with a high head as they all walk away.

  Maggie groaned. “Yep totally not my type." 

  Maggie held her knife still and Loki wondered if that was part of the trick. Loki had one more ring and he already knew he was not going to get the two knives left. He took a chance and threw the ring at the knife in Maggie’s hand.

  She looks down at her hand and back up at him.

  The sister laughed. "Well then… she’s speechless for once.”

  Maggie was quickly back to her social ways. “Shut up Sam.”

  Hella smirks and pats Loki on the back-“Looks like you have to go on a date with my little brother.”

[sburbian-sage]

Strifing Without Specibus: How To Weaponize Your Sylladex & Other Harming Implements

One’s Strife Specibus is one of the more important tools in the game. Defending from Underlings and PK’ers, facing down the final bosses and Unreal Heirs, fruitless sparring with your Guardians and Coplayers, and the time honored tradition of getting into dick-measuring contests with your friends, seeing who can make the coolest or most absurd method. Some people allocate their Specibus accidentally, but as their improvised weaponry grows on them, they “main” it, trying as hard as they can to keep using it in future sessions. Your average Player will use a variety of Strife Specubi, from typical weapons like bladekind, pistolkind, and hammerkind, to weird choices like bookkind, peprmillkind, or rulerkind (measuring sticks, not governing bodies). Some people choose theirs because they like it, some choose for versatility, and some choose for metagaming purposes.

Sometimes though, the Strife Specibus isn’t enough. You’ve got some wimpy kiddy scissors that just won’t cut it while an Ogre prepares to swing. You’ve got a lance, but a winged Imp flies out of reach. You’ve got enough mangrit to toss a dryer, which you conveniently have on-hand, but no dryerkind, and the strange abstracted game-y nature of reality thus prevents you from attacking with it. In such cases, instead of un-abstracting your Strife Deck for the purposes of tossing it on the floor and stepping on it, perhaps you should get good and learn how to weaponize your Sylladex.

We’ve all been there. We’re having trouble fighting things, so your smarmy know-it-all friend tells you “a hyuk hyuk why dont u fite with your sllyadex yuo fucking scrub” and then doesn’t tell you how to actually do it. So you flail around, then learn how to do it kind of, and then stop doing it and rely on your Strife Specibus. Then years later, someone with less experience than you is having trouble fighting things, so you tell them “a hyuk hyuk why dont u fite with your sllyadex yuo fucking scrub". With typos, because you’ve turned into a silly mspaint strawman comic man. And then you cry. It’s a vicious, dehumanizing cycle, and you probably want to punch that guy or yourself, but you can’t because you don’t have fistkind you fucking scrub. You also can’t throw stuff at him, because you learned the bare basics of Sylladex fighting so you’re very shitty at it. So I’m going to help you break that cycle, and teach you actual lessons of fighting with your Sylladex. That way, you can walk right up to that dude, then toss a bunch of cream pies at him, then watch him scream and cry like a silly mspaint strawman comic man. Then you can do it to your past self. Then go mad with the power of throwing things.

The Fundaments: How Do I Shot Web?

I wrote this section after all the others because I realized too late that some of you might not even know the basics of weaponizing your Sylladex. That’s sad and pathetic, but it’s not unlikely, and best to put it here now rather than get accused of putting the cart before the horse later. Basically, you know how if your Sylladex is full, if you captchalogue something else, it goes flying out at high speeds? This is the mechanic you are exploiting. Catchaloguing an item such that it ejects something you’re holding on. The following section will be divided into Taos (even more fundamentals) and Zens (more advanced tricks), because I read a book that did this once and I thought that was cool.

Also, you should know that Hope players will be better than you at this. [Eject] is a Hope-exclusive ability that automatically ejects something from their Sylladex, and it’s very easy to learn, and it completely removes half the challenge from weaponizing your Sylladex (that is, finding something to put into the thing). While you’re scrambling for rocks so you can launch your fridge, they’ll be launching fridges at a whim. If you’re not a Hope player, then do what everyone else does. Bitch about it and move on.

Tao of Sylladex Strife: Know Your Fetch Modus

If you’re going to be using your Sylladex to fight, know how it works. Even babies know how to pick stuff up, but sometimes babies get confused by how their particular Fetch Modus actually works. And maybe you’ll get confused even if you’re not a baby (read: teenager), particularly if you get dropped into a new Session and the guy whose place you’re taking is a hipster and decided to grab one of the most esoteric Fetch Modi known to man. So make sure, before you even THINK of mis-using your Sylladex for violent purposes, that you understand how it works. And check the back, because there might be settings.

Once you’ve done that, you need to re-learn it again. This time, understand how it works in combat. Particularly, how does it eject, and how can you use it? FIFO and FILO Sylladice will eject the earliest item. Hashmap ejects the item occupying the slot you’re attempting to fill. Tree doesn’t eject so much as stuff falls. Array is wonderful for inventory management (even though I prefer Index), but it ejects stuff randomly. Enabling the “detect collisions” setting also makes inventory management easier, but considerably slows down the speed at which you can weaponize your Sylladex. How long does it take to actually captchalogue items? Is it complicated, or unwieldy? When something gets ejected, how does it fly? It’s somewhat complex, re-assessing your understanding of your Sylladex, but some general tips are as follows.

Knowing what will eject is better than random ejection.

More space means more stockpiling, but it becomes harder to keep track of your stuff.

Less space means you know your inventory better, but you have less room to maneuver and can’t stockpile as well.

Turn off “detect collisions” if you want to use your Sylladex in battle.

Short and uncomplicated captchalogue mechanics are better.

Tao of Sylladex Strife: Know Your Inventory

Now that you understand how your Fetch Modus functions, you need to understand its contents. Your Sylladex will serve two functions. An inventory, and an arsenal. “Inventory” basically means “stuff for use in puzzles and alchemy”, “arsenal” means “stuff I will use to commit murder with”. Just as it’s good to have a Fetch Modus that can serve those two functions, it’s good to have a balanced inventory. Key items, and tossable junk items. It’s also important that you know what’s going to be used. Safely take out keys, and toss your dishwasher, not the Glass Orb of Not Softlocking The Game.

As for your arsenal, understand what does and doesn’t make an effective weapon. Straight razors and sharp and fly fast and long, but they’re small and might break. Fridges are big and heavy, so they’ll do a lot of damage, but also destroy the environment and have bad range. Make sure as shit you’re out of range of your impact bombs when you let them loose, and don’t toss garden gnomes if you’re trying to knock back a Giclops. While they fill the role of bullets (with the Sylladex as the gun), they’re more like specialized tools that are all used by hurling them at people you don’t like.

Tao of Sylladex Strife: Know Your Surroundings.

Understanding your battlefield is not only important in general warfare, it’s also important when considering your throwables. While most Players who stick to their guns (so to speak) will mainly traverse their Land only looking for that which is essential to winning the game, you need to traverse it while understanding it on two levels.

The first level is the Strategic Level. Understanding your Land as a whole, and how to utilize the TOYS (Tools Of Your Surroundings) within. If you find yourself low on Sylladex weapons, where you can stock up, and what will you be stocking up on? What’s the fastest route to those locations from where you are? Does a certain location have better weaponry for the specific foes you’ll face later on? Stuff like that.

The second level is the Tactical Level. This is understanding your immediate surroundings while in a fight. What items can you quickly get to? Which ones should be used for ejection, which are best for softening the enemy up, and which are best for dealing lethal blows? Is it at all possible to make new items, like smashing the tile floors or breaking a window and captchaloguing the ensuing debris?

It’s a bit difficult to give blanket lessons on this Tao, but it’s always keep an analytical eye. You should know where your TOYS are before you need them, lest you get caught with your pants down.

Zen of Sylladex Strife: Art of the Adventure Gamer

You could tag SBURB as a lot of games. AR MMO survival psychological action adventure with house sim elements. Early-access too, considering how shitty it is. But don’t forget the adventure part. Have you ever played those point-and-click adventure games like Monkey Island or Sam & Max, and been amused with how the protagonists will take completely random and sometimes absurd objects because they could be useful? Well stop smiling, because they’re always right and you need to start doing that too.

First of all, you should already have been doing that. SBURB is also a puzzle game, and not only can potentially any item help you with puzzles, but every item could be useful for Alchemy purposes. Well now you need to add “killing stuff” to the list of potential uses for every item. Diagnose yourself with severe kleptomania and start acting like it. Grab everything you can! Use everything on everything! Stack up on Captchalogue Cards! Seriously, they’re dirt cheap for the Alchemiter. And speaking of Alchemy...

Zen of Sylladex Strife: Alchemy Isn’t Just For Weapons

Everybody loves going down to their Alchemy Pad and making new weapons, new armor, new tools, and a whole lot of useless bullshit. It reminds them of the satisfaction of upgrading their equipment or buying a new level of gear in the other video games they’ve played. Those video games, however, also tend to teach you that upgrading your ammunition or spending money on special ammo is a waste of time. It is, but not necessarily in SBURB. While improvised weaponry for Sylladex fighting is comparable to ammo, the ease of Alchemy means that not only is is usually cheap to make “upgraded ammo”, but they can be pretty effective. For example, throwing a couch at someone will hurt. Steel nails are very easy to acquire. A bit of Grist and the || function later, and you’re throwing a steel couch at someone. Not to mention, like that couch, some ammo is easy to retrieve. So next time you settle down to celebrate Gristmas, consider loading your Sylladex with some harmful objects.

Zen of Sylladex Strife: Mod Your Modus

Now that you know you should know your Sylladex, you should begin experimenting with it. If you can, grab a Modus Control Deck and a couple of extra Fetch Modii. If not, then you could try Alchemy or perhaps programming. Mix-and-match modii until you have something stronger, then once you’re settled, get to understanding that. Try to find a way to circumvent the weaknesses of the one you’re currently using. It’s kind of like sitting down at a gun bench, except your gun should also be able to carry stuff effectively, and is infinitely more confusing to comprehend.

Speaking of the Modus Control Deck, remember that you can use it to change the Fetch Modus you’re currently using. It’s possible to change Fetch Modii manually, but I find the MCD is more elegant and simple. So it might be a good idea to have several Modii for several occasions, and use the one you think you’ll be needing. For example, use something Inventory-suited like Index when exploring, and when you’re expecting a fighter, switch to something Arsenal-suited like Fingerbands. Just remember to not displace the MCD, or you’ll be running around with the one you’re using forever.

Zen of Sylladex Strife: Fighting At Full Power

This is the Zen that makes you feel like a warrior. If you intend to fight with your Sylladex, you need to remember that it is one of at least two weapons at your disposal. You also have a Strife Specibus. You must use both if you want to truly succeed. Throw something heavy at a Giclops, then pepper him with bullets. When locking blades with a Lich, stun him with a surprise vase, then riposte. I once saw a guy with Hammerkind augment the swing of his sledge with a safe going at breakneck speed, so his strike went at terminal velocity and tore a Basilisk in half. You’re going to have to learn how your Strife Specibus factors into all of this, and probably practice, but by mixing conventional warfare with captchalogue warfare, you become significantly harder to predict, and much more deadly.

[maybe-your-left]

Cowboy Blues: Almost Heaven

Sorry for the long update process, I have been going through a lot with new meds and I wasn't in the zone for writing. But I'M BACK and I MISSED CLYDE. Also, my boyfriend said this chapter was 'too long' but who cares?!

Here is a link to my Masterlist with all the chapters and WIP I have! 

-----

Saturday could not have come any slower, you were so ready for your outing with Clyde but the days dragged by like molasses. You had kept your texting to a minimum with him just so you’d appear more casual, and because he was really bad at replying. You weren’t sure if he had ever used a phone for texting before he met you, but his short replies were just enough to keep you excited for what was to come. 

You had offered to stay the night with Clyde on Friday so it would be easier to get up and go but he wasn’t a fan of you being at the ranch all by yourself. Which explains why now you were dragging yourself out of bed at 5 AM to drive to his place. “Fuck…” you groaned into your pillow when the alarm went off, rolling over and reaching for your phone you saw a couple of messages from Clyde. Rubbing your eyes you sat up and stretched before reading and starting your trek. 

Mornin’ Sunshine, I know y’r already packed but make sure y’ bring a swimsuit. 

“Whatever Clyde,” you yawned before grabbing your bags and shuffling out to the car. 

The drive to the Logan Ranch was quick, practically no one was on the road on this lazy Saturday morning. You even had time to stop and grab some coffee for you and Clyde. Pulling into the ranch you saw a horse trailer, attached to a truck you hadn’t seen Clyde drive before. The man himself was packing the truck bed full of coolers, bags, and other things you couldn’t recognize. 

“Morning handsome,” you called out. 

Clyde turned around and a smile split his face, setting down the equipment he walked over to your car. You got out as quickly as possible and Clyde engulfed you in a hug, effectively lifting you off the ground. “M’ so glad y’ came, I know y’r not a mornin’ person,” he smiled up at you before kissing your cheek. 

“Put me down I have stuff in my car,” you kicked your legs to emphasize your point. 

Once down Clyde rounded your car and grabbed all the bags before you could even help out. Leaving you holding two cups of coffee and a smile. “Let’s get going darlin’,” he called before climbing into the driver’s seat. Opening your door you almost spilled your drink when Leroy jumped up into your seat. 

“Down boy,” Clyde scolded, “That ain’t y’r spot today. Get in the back.” 

Poor Leroy looked at his dad so broken-hearted. He started to whine when Clyde grabbed his collar and tried to pull him into the backseat. “Clyde, he can sit on my lap,” you whined, you didn’t want Leroy to be crying the whole trip because you took his spot. 

“Sunshine, he’s a big dog,” he said, “Y’ don’ need t’ coddle him.” 

“Please Clyde?” 

He just sighed and dragged Leroy into his lap, grumbling at the dog as he started licking his face while you climbed in. Once you had the coffee settled, and your seatbelt on you patted your lap for the big baby. Leroy happily jumped into your lap, effectively knocking the wind out of you. Grunting you tried to situate him so you could breathe but fuck that dog was heavy. Whatever Clyde fed him was too much, but you didn’t want Clyde to know he was right so you decided to grin and bear it. 

“Y’ okay over there darlin’?” Clyde smiled at your groaning from Leroy. 

“Yup.” 

“The drives ‘bout two hours, so lemme know if y’ need a break.” 

You averted your eyes from his smile, he couldn’t win. Not today, so you just hummed back and began petting Leroy. This was going to be a long trip. 

-----

Holy shit Leroy needs to go on a diet  

Your inner monologue was constant throughout the drive, Leroy never really settled on your lap, which earned many groans from you and snorts from Clyde every time you made a noise. He had tried to make conversation with you during the drive but you couldn’t pay attention because of the fat dog who kept kissing you. You didn’t even get the chance to drink your coffee because he had your left arm pinned under his butt. Clyde had offered a couple of times to give you your coffee but your pride wouldn’t let him feel like he was right. And also because you were slightly nervous with him driving with just his metal arm but he was in control the whole time, it just took you a minute to calm down about it. He had been driving for a while with one arm so you had no reason to worry. 

After another hour went by you had started to drift off to sleep when the ground changed into a bumpy gravel road. Jostled from your seat your eyes flew open to the new terrain. All around you were large trees, the windows were pumping in fresh mountain air, and if you strained enough you could spy a lake in between the brush. 

“We’re just up here Sunshine,” Clyde moved the truck to the right of the road. Somehow spying a smaller dirt road that seemed to be handmade. You were very worried about fitting with the truck and the horse trailer but Clyde seemed to know the area like the back of his hand. 

Once at the end of the slim road, there was a flat opening that was a driveway leading up to a small cabin with an even smaller barn to the left of it. You sighed at the sight of the cabin, you weren’t sure if you were camping in a tent but you secretly hoped for plumbing. With what you planned to be doing up here with Clyde you were thankful a shower was nearby. 

Clyde parked and immediately opened his door to stretch his legs and start unpacking. Leroy had left your lap to follow his daddy, which left you to finally breathe and flex your left arm after being pinned. Climbing out you took in a deep breath, it was so beautiful up here. You knew that West Virginia was known for its beautiful landscape, and from your time in Montana, you were used to the mountains but it had been so long since you were outside. You felt yourself tearing up thinking about home, you hadn’t been back since Josh… no, you weren’t going to let your last relationship ruin this nice time with your new guy. 

“Darlin’ can ya help bring these inside? I gotta get the horses out,” Clyde motioned to the coolers in the truck bed. Smiling back up at him you maneuvered to the end of the truck and started emptying the supplies Clyde had brought. Walking up the steps to the cabin you admired how homey it looked. Truly it was a quaint cabin that held memories for the Logan family, you felt honored that Clyde had even brought you here. Walking in you noticed scratch marks in the doorway, with names under them. You spied Clyde’s name along with Jimmy and Mellie, and some unknown person Sadie. You grinned at the family memory that marked the place. 

After dropping off multiple bags inside you used your free time to search through the cabin. It was very homey, you were thankful that the cabin did indeed have plumbing. Some more snooping brought you to the bedroom you and Clyde were to share, the bed didn’t at all look big enough to have both of you in it. You also assumed that Leroy would weasel his way in which made it even less appealing. Huffing you started unpacking your bags when you heard Clyde come inside. You could hear his boots hitting the floor and a pause, he must be taking in the cabin like you were. You wondered how long it had been since he last came here, had he brought others here? You shook your head before you started jumping to conclusions, bounding out of the room you met Clyde and sealed your lips in a kiss. 

“When do we get to ride?” you said before giving him another quick kiss. Clyde hummed into your lips before wrapping his arms around your waist. “That’s why I was comin’ in Sunshine,” he pulled back and started raking over your figure. Taking in a deep breath he closed his eyes and gave you a slower, more thoughtful kiss which you eagerly reciprocated. However, before the fun could even begin Clyde pulled back. 

“Y’ better go get changed,” he leaned and kissed your forehead, “Y’ won’t want t’ ride with those shorts on.” 

You rushed into the bedroom after Clyde separated the two of you to gather bags for the ride. You and Mellie had shopped for plenty of outfits to choose from for the weekend. You decided on wearing a baby pink bikini underneath your clothes in case there was a chance of water play, and plus they were only held together by strings which could prove helpful… You also got some comfy bootcut jeans that sat nicely over your old riding boots and a very thin plaid button-up. Mellie had also insisted that you buy a cowgirl hat, saying that it would drive Clyde crazy since he would chase after rodeo girls when he was younger. Once you were ready you pranced outside and approached Clyde who was facing two horses. 

You tapped his shoulder and cleared your throat so he could turn and look at you. And look he did, you were sure his eyes were going to pop out of his head. He couldn’t keep himself from staring, his eyes roamed all over your figure and settled on the ample cleavage your top gave you. 

“Howdy Cowboy,” you smirked at him and tipped your hat, “Are you ready to ride?” 

Clyde swallowed hard before bringing his eyes back up to meet yours, “I got somethin’ fer y’ t’ ride.” 

You giggled and swayed over to his side and pecked his cheek, not letting him get too close since you were actually eager to get going. “Which ones mine,” you whispered before pulling back and patting the horses. 

“What,” Clyde practically choked when you left him high and dry.

“Which horse do I get Clyde,” you said, “Don’t tell me one of them is for Leroy.” 

He cleared his throat and turned to face the pair with you, “No no, this one here is mine,” he patted the buckskin colored horse, “An that one's yers.” 

“What are their names?” 

“This mustang is Spirit, and his mare there is Rain.” 

“Oh like that old movie!” you practically squealed, Spirit was one of your favorite horse movies growing up. You and your sister would watch it almost daily, along with Barbie Swan Lake. 

“Huh,” Clyde looked at you confused, “What’r y’ talkin’ about? Those their names because I liked em…” 

“You really haven’t seen the old horse movie about these exact two horses!?” 

Clyde just looked at you like you had lost your mind. You obviously had to drop the subject and force him to watch it at a later date because right now you were close to blowing up. “Whatever,” you rolled your eyes and began mounting Rain, “Let’s get going before it gets too hot.” 

Mirroring your actions Clyde climbed on Spirit swiftly and put on his own cowboy hat, “Don’t fall behind darlin’,” he winked before setting off leaving you in the dust. 

----- 

After riding for about 3 hours, Clyde had led you to a lakeshore. You had spent most of the early afternoon weaving through trees and up the mountain ridges. Rain was a very nimble horse and on more than one occasion you were able to outrun Clyde who would holler for you to stay close by, apparently, the ground was dangerous and ‘only he knew’ where it was safe. 

You dismounted at the shoreline, soaking in the sun and listening to the calm waves from the lake. It almost felt like a dream, being out here with Clyde. You weren’t sure of the last time you were able to have this kind of peace, certainly couldn’t remember the last time you rode a horse. But you were starting to see that being around Clyde would bring you simple pleasures you hadn’t allowed yourself in a while. Walking towards the sand you heard Clyde rustling through the bags that he brought, making a happy humming noise when he must’ve found what he was looking for. 

“Y’ mind helpin’ me set out this blanket,” he called from behind you. Turning around you saw he had a large blanket draped over his forearm, along with a small bag that was hiding supplies he must’ve packed. 

“Of course,” you smiled at him and grabbed the blanket. Spreading it out on the beach and then grabbing the bag from him while he got the horses some snacks and water. Settling down, the bag between your legs, you opened it up to see what he had brought. It was a pretty small bag, no larger than one of those cheap drawstring ones you would use as a child, but this one was a military green and seemed to be well used. It was heavy, heavier than you would think it should be, peeking inside you found bottles of water. Along with the water, there were a few beers, Clyde seemed to pack his favorite kind along with some fruity cocktails he must’ve thought you liked. You started unpacking the drinks, and underneath you found some little picnic items. After you had that all laid out there was still more in there. 

“Did you pack enough,” you called over your shoulder to him, because somehow he managed to pack an entire fridge worth of food. 

“What’re y’ doin’ over there?” 

“I’m unpacking this,” you raised the bag up, “Isn’t that what you meant for me to do?” 

Deciding not to delay the rest you dumped the contents into your lap. Out fell a leather journal, must be his you thought, along with a compass, flashlight, survival tools, and a strange velvet drawstring bag. You picked it up to inspect it more closely, it was a black bag, which had a couple of items inside. It didn’t seem like something you would bring out riding but maybe Clyde had a reason for it. Rolling your eyes and staring out at the waves you opened it and stuck your hand in. 

Cold. 

Curved. 

Metal. 

“What the fuck-” 

“Are you lookin’ through my stuff darlin’,” Clyde was suddenly behind you, snatching the black velvet bag from your hands. Huffing as he sat next to you and tucked it under his left leg. 

“What was that Clyde,” you waggled your eyebrows at him and reached over his lap to grab the item he swooped away from you. 

“It’s not yers,” he smiled back at you before leaning down and placing a kiss on your forehead. 

You huffed and crossed your arms over your chest, being sure to push out your breasts from your unbuttoned shirt. “Hmm,” you mused at him. 

“Could y’ hand me a beer darlin’, I’m thirsty after all that ridin’.” 

You pretended to not hear him, maybe the silent treatment would make him cave and show you the ‘surprise’ that he was hiding from you. “Sunshine?” he whispered again, hoping for your attention. You lifted your chin and looked off at the water, pretending again that he wasn’t there. 

“(Y/N) are you really poutin’ cause I took the bag from y’?” 

“Maybe.” 

Clyde huffed in amusement, reaching across your lap for a beer, making sure to skim the top of your left knee in the process. He settled once again, stretching his legs out and cracking open his beer. Humming after his first slow sip, glancing out at the mountains across the water. Maybe the silent treatment wasn’t a good idea, Clyde was already a man of little words, he must thrive off the quiet mountain air. You started thrumming your fingers to try and shake his calm, slowly getting louder and louder with your little movements. At some point, he was going to snap and finally give in to you. 

After 5 more chugs from his beer, he finally cleared his throat, halting you from your cacophony of noises. “I didn’ tell y’ earlier, but y’ look very pretty darlin’.” 

“Hmm,” you replied, not trying to be swayed by his honeyed words. 

Clyde chuckled and scooted closer to you, draping his arm around your shoulders, “I especially like yer shirt, it lookt very bouncy while we were ridin’.” 

You tried to hide your smile, of course, it was ‘bouncy’ because you had on a bikini top underneath. Your tits were practically screaming from being pushed up and down while Rain was trotting across the trails. In hindsight, it was not a good decision to wear the top, but damn you did look tantalizing. You turned to face Clyde, being sure to let your top open a little bit more, showing the suit underneath. “Well aren’t you a gentleman,” you whispered at him, bringing up a palm to rest on his chest. Clyde took that as an in and swooped in, capturing your lips in a kiss. 

You couldn’t help but moan into him, sweet lips pressing and sucking on your own. Tongue darting out to press to your own, begging for entrance to explore your mouth. Eagerly you obliged, savoring the sweet hoppy taste of his tongue, slightly pressing on his chest causing him to lay back as softly as he could. Once he was down he brought his right hand up to your lower back, pressing you into him as you now straddled him with both legs. You pulled away just a little, glancing down at Clyde’s face, his lips were all flushed, wet, and pink while his eyes were lazily opening and shutting. Trying to register the bliss that was your shared tastes. Quickly you used his confusion to reach under his left leg and grabbed the black bag. 

Springing off of him you ran towards the water giggling, trying to quickly figure out the contents of the velvet sack. Sticking your hand in again you met with the toys inside, not noticing that you were now in the shallow water. Soaking your boots and the ends of your jeans. Through your giggles, you now were able to inspect the objects more thoroughly, there were two items. One was a small smooth metal plug* of some sort and the other was a bottle of… 

Lube**. 

Clyde brought lube. 

You stared at the items in your hand for a long time. What the fuck was going on? Why did he bring these, on a horseback riding trip for starters? Was the lube why he asked about your allergies? Why was there a butt plug… what kinda shit was this cowboy expecting? You were so lost in your train of thought you didn’t even hear Clyde run after you into the water. Suddenly you were being lifted up from an arm wrapping around your waist, and another hand was taking the prizes from your grasp. “Y’ know it’s rude t’ open presents early Sunshine,” he chuckled while walking back to the blanket. 

Your eyes widened, was he planning on giving you these? It wasn’t like you were opposed to them, it was the opposite in fact. You had hoped that this trip was going to take your relationship to the next level. You had even mentioned it to Clyde the other day over text, and he knew that you wanted to set boundaries before the two of you continued down that road. But this just seemed so sudden and out of character for him, he was usually so timid and shy around you. Unless you took into account the morning the two of you were buried between the other’s legs, which surely wasn’t the shy man you had grown to know. 

Clyde plopped you down on the blanket, situating himself between your legs. Sitting back on his heels while holding the toys in his metal hand. “I’m sorry Clyde, I didn’t think they were… you know for me?” 

“Hmm,” he responded, trying to keep his gaze away from yours. He was clearly embarrassed, his plan of giving these to you didn’t go as he wanted it to. You reached up and placed your hands on his cheeks, forcing him to make eye contact. “Clyyyddddeeee,” you cooed, trying to get him to smile at you, “I’m not upset at them, just more surprised really.” 

“I’m sorry darlin’,” he huffed, “I was hidin’ em in my bag so y’ wouldn’ find em when y’ unpacked earlier. Was supposed t’ be fer later…” 

“Oh yeah,” you raised your eyebrows and leaned in to give him a small kiss on the chin, “When were you gonna give them to me, Daddy?” 

Clyde let out a huge sigh, the nickname you used seemed to melt his anxiety right away. He tucked his chin and brought his lips back to yours, hungrier than before. “Right after I asked y’ t’ be my woman,” he mumbled into your mouth. Wrapping his right arm around your waist and pressing you flush with his torso. You hummed into his kiss, working your mouths in tandem with one another. One of your hands slid up his face to tangle in his locks, pulling and knotting with his curls, while the other was skating down his chest. Feeling his muscles flex and relax with every movement forward. Silently coaxing you to lay back on the blanket, to which you obliged. 

With Clyde towering over you he broke your kiss and trailed light kisses along your neck. Making his way towards your chest, you started to unbutton your flannel so he could have better access. Clyde began nibbling and sucking into the supple flesh of your breasts, the more skin exposed to him, the more desperate his moans were. With your shirt finally opened all the way, Clyde brought his hand up to the bikini, softly squeezing and rubbing his thumb back and forth over your hardening nipples. 

“As pretty as this color is on y’, can this come off?” he mumbled between your breasts. You moaned back a yes and Clyde made quick work of untying the top knot of the suit, allowing the fabric to snag and catch on your erect nipples. Clyde leaned back on his knees, taking in the sight of your exposed chest, settling the toys he had been holding in his left hand and beginning to unbutton his own shirt. 

You sat up with him and threw off the rest of your tops, moving towards your drying boots. By the time Clyde had his shirt and undershirt off you were wrestling out of your jeans, eager to be bare before him. He grabbed your hands from your zipper, “Now hold on there, y’ didn’t answer my question.” 

“What question?” 

A deep exhale through his nose, “bout bein’ y’know…” he trailed off and threw his eyes to the side. 

“Clyde are you going to tell me or do I have to guess?” 

“Bout bein’ my lady (Y/N),” he looked at you with wide eyes, “I know y’ didn’ want t’ be doin’ stuff without a label n’ I’ve wanted y’ as mine fer some time.” 

Oh yeah, you thought. You had brought this up over the phone about a week ago since you didn’t want to just be a fling with Clyde, he was a genuine man and you wanted to know him as a partner. But this was the moment he decided to ask you? Both of you half-naked on a beach, you just finding sex toys in his bag, and with horses 20 feet away. 

You cleared your throat and reached out for Clyde’s face, grabbed his cheeks and gently tugged him down to you. “Of course Clyde, as long as that means you’re mine too,” you leaned up and gave him a soft and slow kiss making sure to memorize his lips. 

“I wouldn’t have it any other way Sunshine,” he smiled into your kiss before pressing you down to deepen it. Clyde moved his metal arm behind your back, seeming to cradle you against the ground while his other hand skated across your bare chest, pawing at your nipples before sliding down your stomach towards your jeans. You hummed into his mouth, coaxing grunts and groans as your hips bucked upwards to his touch. Clyde pulled at your buttons and soon was sliding his hand under your swimsuit bottoms.

You moaned into his touch, callused fingertips softly rubbing your folds. Getting slicked up with your arousal, you couldn’t help but gyrate your hips to his fingers, hoping for more friction. “Let’s get these off y’,” he whispered before breaking your kiss and turning towards your lonely breasts. You quickly wrestled your legs out of your jeans, shucking down your bikini too leaving you bare before him. Pressing on his chest you moved Clyde back onto his heels, hands moving towards his belt. 

A few moments later Clyde was up on his feet, throwing off his boots and frantically trying to get out of his jeans. You watched him, memorizing each muscle that rippled as he moved, you brought a hand down to your core to rub at your clit. Clyde’s eyes caught your wandering hand, “Go on an get yerself ready fer yer Daddy,” he pulled down his boxers finally releasing his aching cock. Your eyes widened at the sight, you had forgotten how big he was. His huge cock was swinging freely between his powerful legs, jutting out from his body with a slight curve upwards at the tip. It was hard and leaking precum, desperate to be buried in your tight pussy. He brought a hand to it and lazily started to pump himself while getting down on his knees in front of you. 

“Gimme yer hand,” he growled, reaching for your hand to replace his. Slicking up his length with your leftover wetness. Clyde moaned at your touch, hand barely able to fit around his girth. You brought your other hand below to cup his balls, heavy and begging to be played with. You leaned down and brought them to your mouth, moaning at the sweet-savory taste they held. You licked and sucked on them gently causing Clyde to throw his hand backward in pleasure. Your hands were lazily pumpkin him in time with your sucking. Taking one ball into your mouth and softly applying pressure with your tongue before popping it out loudly and moving to the next. Clyde’s metal hand came down to caress your hair while you continue your assault on his sack. 

“Spread yer legs baby,” his hand dropped down to your core. Trailing up and down your slit, collecting more of it on his fingertips. Paying extra attention to your entrance before dropping his fingers down lower towards your tight asshole. He gently pressed on your ring, earning a groan from you, and then trailing his fingers back up and sinking his middle finger into your core. 

“Oh fuck,” you moaned, “yes Daddy, yessss.” 

You pulled back from his balls, continuing your drag of his cock with one hand while the other was reaching for the lube bottle he brought. Clyde was pumping you full with his one finger but you were desperate for more. “Here baby,” you said while squeezing some on his fingers while they were pulled out, adding to the already delicious squelch coming from your pussy. Clyde groaned and proceeded to shove two fingers into your heat. Cock thrusting into your palm while you spit on his length to add to his precum. 

“Get on y’r hands and knees, let Daddy see y’ from behind,” he pulled back and waited for you to move. Quickly scrambling up on all fours, spreading your legs wide enough so he could get a glimpse of your wet folds, sticking your ass in the air. “Like this Daddy?” you asked breathless in anticipation. 

Clyde brought up his metal hand to your lower back, pressing it down causing your back to curve even more. Your ass was now directly in front of him, close enough to taste. 

And taste he did, bringing his lips up to your cheeks, being sure to bite and suck fresh marks into the supple skin. You moaned at the rough treatment, bucking back into him. He brought another hand up to spread your wetness from your folds up to your tight ring. Kissing your left cheek while he pressed again on your asshole, getting it all lubed up from your core. 

“Please Clyde, you’re driving me crazy. I need you,” you cried out trying to move his hand more and more. You needed him to fuck you, needed him to do really anything. You were so riled up. One last kiss to your cheek and he pulled back, settling on his knees behind you. “Since you' asked so nicely,” he lined his cock up at your entrance, “Try t’ be quiet, don’ wanna spook the horses.” 

He pushed in, fully sheathing his cock inside you with one thrust. The sheer stretch and length of him knocked the wind out of your lungs. Feeling like you could cum then and there. He pulled back just enough to keep the tip inside and placed both hands on your hips. Pressing back inside you, again and again, being sure to not pull out entirely. 

You were a moaning and crying mess, trying desperately to keep your voice down. Clyde was no different, each clench of your pussy around his cock made him groan. The sick slapping of skin filled the air around you. If anyone was floating on the water they sure were getting a show from the shoreline. Clyde was pounding into you like it was the last thing he would ever do, being sure to snap his hips back into harder and harder each time. You were so close, you propped yourself up on your hands and looked at him over your shoulder. 

He was a mess, hair stuck to his forehead from the sweat. His pale skin was blushed from the chest all the way to the tips of his ears. He was grunting and groaning, watching his cock sink into your tight little pussy with each stroke. Looking up at you he smiled, leaning over you and capturing your lips in a small kiss, being sure to keep his pace even. You reached a hand down between your legs and started rubbing your clit, instantly clenching on him when you made contact. 

“Jesus fuck (Y/N), cum on my cock,” he panted, “Fuckin’ y’r so tight, please cum on me.” His begging was all you needed, you rubbed and rubbed being sure to keep in time with Clyde's thrusts. “Oh fuck Clyde I’m… I’ mm-” 

Your eyes rolled back into your head. Shoving your head down onto the blanket to hide your screams. You were clenching all around him, gushing on his length. Clyde roared as you came, coaxing his own release out of his cock. Pushing his hot sticky cum deep inside you where no one else had gone. His thrusts became slower and slower as you both came down from your high. Clyde leaned forward and softly kissed your shoulder, pulling out while he did. Your pussy squelched once he was out, begging to be filled again. Cum was pushed out of you, sticking to your legs. 

Rolling on your side you were breathless looking at Clyde. He was laying on his left side, head angled to lay on the ground. Breathing heavily and just staring at you like you were the most important thing in the world. His eyes were dancing all across your face, memorizing the sweat and tears that had fallen on your cheeks. 

“That was amazing,” you said after finally catching your breath. 

“Better than I imagined,” he smiled at you. You couldn’t stop staring at each other, not wanting to move from your cocoon of post-sex bliss. Nothing in the world mattered now but the two of you. Behind you, Spirit snorted at you both causing Clyde to break contact with you and acknowledge the horses. “We should probably pack up, Leroy’s probably torn the place apart with us bein’ gone so long.” 

You hummed at him and began sitting up, grabbing your respective clothes in silence. Once the both of you were dressed and the bag was repacked Clyde grabbed your hand and kissed it, “We should ride back slow, don’ want y’ bein’ sore.” 

You snorted at him and put on your hat, “I think I’ll be okay, boyfriend.” 

TAGLIST: @finn-ray-nal-beads​ @morby​ @clumsycopy​ @onlykyloscenes​ @desiraypark​ @kirah36​ @candycanes19​ 

*Here is the plug he brought us ;): https://sextoynerds.com/reviews/njoy-pure-plug-stainless-steel/

**Here is the lube he brought, it's actually a really great lube. I use it along with another: https://www.adameve.com/sex-lubes/anal-sex-lubes/sp-sliquid-naturals-sassy-lubricating-gel-92290.aspx

[peacedolantwins]

Resentment part 2

A/n: This took me longer than it should have but finally did it. I love that a lot of you loved the first part

The first night when you got home with the ring you had to pay to get back, you actually thought about filling a police report on Grayson. After all he technically did steal from you.

But you couldnt bring yourself to do it. As much as you hated him for what he did, you weren’t that cruel. You knew word would get out and it would be all over the internet, damagining not only his, but Ethans reputation as well.

While going out with Grayson was like going out with prince charming at first, being a princess just wasnt for you. All of the things he liked, you found yourself just going along with to keep him happy.

You loved him, but not how you thought you would. You loved him as a best friend, someone who was nice to you, and he gave you all the attention you wanted while you tried to get over who you really did love.

Ethan.

Ethan and yours relationship was a bit complicated to say the least. You had known each other since you were sixteen and slowly became close. You had hung out with him and Grayson together but that wasnt as often.

You enjoyed Grayson being around, you thought he was sweet and caring, but he wasnt Ethan.

You found yourself falling for the older twin with the more closed off personality. The one who wasnt all touchy and understood the need for personal space. The one who needed time to open up to people and kept their heart guarded from the outside world.

While Ethan enjoyed just staying home and relaxing, he didnt mind the occasional adventure to see the world around him.

And thats what you loved about him. He was able to pull you out of your shell and just get out and explore but he also didnt mind just hanging out at home.

And he felt the same way about you. He loved that he could be himself around you and not have to worry if you thought he was boring because you did the same things you did. When Grayson would go out and he was left alone, he always went to you because he knew the two of you could just hang out.

And the two of you saw the looks the other would send each other when you thought the other wasn’t looking. You both felt how comfortable you were around each other.

But neither of you officially said how you felt. You both knew there were feelings, but it was a scary thought. What if it didnt work out? What if it ended badly and you each lost your best friend?

You waited for Ethan to make a move to show he was actually interested in a relationship with you but nothing ever happened.

So you tried to move on. You could live with not having that relationship with him as long as your friendship stayed intact. You went on a few dates here and there but nothing ever happened.

Then Grayson asked you out. Grayson who was sweet and kind and wore his heart on his sleeve.

The first few times you two went out it was a little awkward. It felt like walking on eggshells around him as you tried to find the same interests as him.

He was clearly interested so you gave it a shot. Maybe if you waited longer and spent more time with him you would have feelings for him.

And you did. Or you thought you did. You loved him in your own way but it wasn’t the same as he felt for you and you knew it.

Holding his hand felt off and the few times you two kissed just felt wrong. You wanted to call it off but then he started buying you things.

And you didn’t stay in it for the objects but out of guilt. Here you had this gorgeous and caring guy taking you out and spending hundreds of dollars on you and you should have been lucky to have someone like that but still you felt nothing but friendship towards him.

Then he stopped with the gifts and fancy dates and you were so glad. Money made you uncomfortable so you figured that maybe without all the material objects you could try to know him better. Just the two of you without trying to have a discussion in a hundred dollar restaurant.

But then the comments started. The snide remarks about how much you made. How you had a college degree but still worked as a waitress. How you never wanted to go out. And you tried to deal with it.

And then he sold your grandmother's ring without an ounce of regret and that was enough. Having him leave a five hundred dollar tip for two plates of lettuce and water felt like a slap in the face on top of it all.

Now you had taken all of the things he ever bought you and put them into a box to drop off at his house. You never used them anyways so now he could do what he wanted with all the money he spent on you since that we he cares about most anyway.

When you got to the house you were glad to see his car was gone because you really werent in the mood to deal with him. You were taking the box out of your backseat when you heard the front door open and you paused.

“Y/n?” It was Ethan.

“Hey,” you turned to see him.

“Want some help?” He came closer.

“Please?” The truth was you missed hanging out with Ethan. Yes, you had been trying to get over your feelings for him but you also missed your best friend.

“What is this stuff?” He saw bags and clothes but he didn’t understand why you had it. It wasn’t anything you would ever use and he knew that.

“Stuff your brother gave me. Just came to return it,” you explained and he simply nodded.

“So you guys are done?” He tried to ask casually.

“After how he was acting then what he did? Yeah, I’m gonna say we’re done,” you replied sarcastically.

“Wanna come in for a bit?” He offered

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea right now,” you would love to go in but given what’s happened recently you weren’t sure.

“C’mon just a for a while? He’s supposed to be gone for another hour,” he knew you didn’t want to be around Grayson.

“Just for a little bit,” you caved.

The two of you went in and you waited in his room while he set the box of things down in Graysons. When he came back he threw himself down on the bed next to you and laid back. You then laid back and found yourself using his thigh as a pillow but neither of you minded.

This is how things always were between you two before you got involved with Grayson.

The two of you just started talking about everything but not really going into the topic of your relationship with Grayson. He told you about video ideas they had planned and you talked about funny things that happened at work.

“Bro, why is Y/n’s car here?” You were both laughing when you heard the front door open.

“Fuck,” you checked your phone and saw it was way over an hour since you got here.

“Ethan?” Grayson barged in to see you both now sitting on the bed.

“Dude what the fuck?” He looked between you two.

“Gray-“

“And you, are you serious? I’m not there to keep paying for everything so you come to him next?” He turned to you.

“Grayson stop,” Ethan stood up, not liking how his brother was talking to the girl he cared about.

“Ethan it’s fine, I’m leaving. And Grayson? I never asked for a damn thing from you so get off your high horse already,” you snapped at him.

Your relationship with Grayson falling apart the way it did lit a fire not only under your ass, but Ethan’s as well.

You weren’t going to be happy until you at least gave it a chance with him and he was never going to be happy seeing you with someone else.

Enough screwing around. It’s time to fight for what you both want.

Pls like/comment/reblog literally anything please and thank you

@pgm-dolan @dolandolll @dolanshellyes @mysecretsaremydemons @mmmmmgd @ethandolxns @dolantwinsfavss @knee-deep-in-feels @godlydolans @dolanstwintuesday @sarcasm-at-its-finest2444 @fandomsfeministsandothershit @graydolan12 @ilsolee @inlovewithethandolan @someonedoingnothing @vintagebitttch @sunshinedolantwins @chonisberonica @ardordolan @ethantasy @wasabisama331 @graysavant @atlas-of-a-human-soul @wolfpuppii009 @okaymendess @jillanaholland if you want me to tag/stop tagging you just lemme know

@radroadlawyerdeputy @just-a-sister @synonymforlame @tryingtobreatheeasier @msjackiealyson @alexandrablanchett @azrasclaw @dolan-bliss @mckeeee-1 @5sausefandom

[incomprehensiblelentils]

@dollsome-does-tumblr​ does this and opened it up to anyone and I am feeling chatty today SO!

Because I co-write a lot with my lovely wife, I might answer some questions including those co-written stories, or I might not, depends on how I feel when I get there.

name:

Megan but I go by Lentils most places on the internet, Shadowcrawler over on AO3

fandoms:

at the moment: MCU, especially Agents of SHIELD and Daredevil; Terminator: Dark Fate; Halt and Catch Fire. Oh and I wrote Dollhouse fanfics a thousand years ago. Sometimes I will watch a movie/show and think “those two girls should be gay” and bang out 2k of fic about it and then never write for that fandom again. (I THOUGHT this was going to be HACF but as it turns out, no, it’s not done with me yet.)

where you post:

AO3, at Shadowcrawler. I also have a tumblr @lentils-writes​ where theoretically I post links to fics/advertise them in the tags, because I used to be real precious about not putting porn on this blog, but fuck it.

most popular multi-chapter fic:

Co-written, it’s definitely mallverse, which is I think the reason most writers definitely hate us because it’s very long and there are a lot of tags lmao. The problem is that every tagged character HAS shown up in a significant fashion at some point so we can’t just...untag them! It doesn’t update weekly anymore because we’re exhausted by life lmao so at least there’s that???

As for a multi-chapter fic that was just me, I don’t tend to do that so much, so actually it’s say you will, my 3-chapter Endgame fix-it where Clint dies instead of Natasha and Natasha and Laura have a past. It actually has over 1000 hits which is very exciting! I feel like it’s...niche in a way that is frustrating but understandable lol. I put a lot of my heart into it and some people really liked it, so that’s gratifying.

favorite story you’ve written so far:

Co-written, I think our SHIELD Dollhouse AU is very underrated for the amount of work we put into it. Author bias evident here because I love Dollhouse warts and all, and it’s a lot of fun translating episode plots as well as the general trajectory of the show into stuff that will work with SHIELD characters. We don’t just rewrite episodes, we really try and rework them as needed. Also it features both Skimmons and my beloved rarepair Bobbi/Kara, though of course they won’t get together until later.

Of my own stuff, I’m still really really proud of the AU where Kara Palamas didn’t die. I think that was a pretty severe misstep of the show and I think I did a good job of fixing it. (I haven’t forgotten Kara, promise!)

fic you were nervous to post:

lolololol I wrote some uh. Terminator pornography last year and. They are very porny! I had co-written a bunch of smut obviously, but that was the first time I’d posted like, PWP all by myself on purpose??? and that was TERRIFYING. Also I was very nervous to post the Engame fix-it because that was my own personal goodbye/tribute to Natasha.

how you choose your titles:

They are always either song lyrics or jokes (such as Three Lawyers and a Baby, my Daredevil Accidental Baby Acquisition fic). My WIP docs are always titled either obvious shit like “RoseJannah horse girls” or memes like “what if we belonged to a fire cult and we fucked haha just kidding unless...?” or “Morgan has two mommies.”

do you outline?:

B and I typically outline for the co-written fics, although it’s more often chapter-by-chapter outlines since that’s how we write them. On occasion we’ve fully planned multi-chapter stuff out in advance but that’s less common. Oh and the one-shots are nearly always outlined as well, just to keep ourselves organized.

When I have written planned multi-chapter fics in the past I have used outlines - particularly for the Kara one and I had to do that for the SHIELD Kill Bill AU because I was trying to follow the format of the movie. For things that are allegedly supposed to be one-shots I almost never outline, which turns out to be a terrible idea when they inevitably balloon beyond my control and become 45k like say you will. That one, I wrote out a list of scenes I thought needed to be in it and then I wrote about 75% of those scenes and then I wrote a bunch more scenes I hadn’t planned for. Don’t be like me, kids!

complete fics:

According to AO3, 89 as of right now. Uh, you do not want me to list all of them, here’s a link, I guess!

in progress:

I don’t understand what the difference is between this question and the WIP questions lmao help????

posted WIPs that I have active plans to continue at this time:

Cowritten: mallverse as I said, and its femslash smut oneshots spinoff and character flashbacks spinoff and older characters/teachers spinoff (these get updated, uh, irregularly), the first half of a Piper/Snowflake SHIELD s7 fic that we are planning on finishing the second half of soonish, SHIELD Dollhouse AU, SHIELD Teen Beach AU, SHIELD Buffy AU. You may notice a pattern!

By myself, I have: Have Your Elf a Merry Little Christmas, a Terminator Hallmark Christmas fic that I ambitiously posted the first chapter of in 2019 and then lost steam immediately (I am going to go back to it sooner or later bc I had some cute ideas for it); the SHIELD Fate of the Furious AU that has one chapter to go and which I do intend on finishing eventually; Three Lawyers and a Little Lady, the Daredevil Accidentally Baby Acquisition AU that is literally just cute kidfic and poly avocados and which I have a bunch of ideas for and just need to buckle down and finish some.

posted WIPs that I have given up on:

Lol so there’s a Dollhouse Caroline/Bennett Doctor Who AU that I wrote purely as idfic and which nobody ever cared about except me, and I think that ship has sailed! RIP darlings. I also had an ongoing Skimmons series waaaay back when where I posted oneshots that were like missing scenes or gay readings for each s1 episode, and I just feel like it would be inauthentic to even try and finish it at this point. (It does include the first ever Skimmons fic to be posted on AO3! Really truly, there’s one fic that shows up as older but it’s an ongoing fic and was updated with the tag way after I posted mine.)

exchange fics due soon/unrevealed:

I haven’t done an exchange since like 2015 lololol I am so bad at them. I am currently working on finishing up my MCU Femslash bingo card, very late, and I do have plans for almost all of the remaining squares!

WIPs that live in my fanfic folder and are incomplete and who knows when they’ll be finished:

“RoseJannah horse girls,” which has been put on hold temporarily but is literally just Rose and Jannah being gay while riding orbaks

half of a Daisy/Gwen fic from Marvel Rising because I know they’re not making any more of those but I stg those two were really gay

multiple fics about Elise Nelson-Page including: avocados Halloween with smol Elise, Aunt Elektra very reluctantly taking smol Elise shopping until she realizes smol Elise also likes weapons (she buys her a fake katana), Uncle Frank is a pushover and spoils the shit out of Elise, and baby Elise has a high fever and everyone freaks out but then she gets better and smile at them for the first time (inspired by baby me lol).

coming soon/not yet started:

“Morgan has two mommies,” yet another Endgame fix-it where Maya Hansen did not die in Iron Man 3 and she resurfaces and she and Pepper kiss and eventually she adopts Morgan

Claire and Colleen go on a nice date to get coffee/tea where Danny doesn’t interrupt them goddammit

Bobbi/Kara Warehouse 13 AU which is sort of like “For the Team” but gayer ft. grappling hook

X-Men: Evolution Tabby/Amara fluff

Cameron/Donna character study disguised as smut

Grace proposes to Dani with a ring made out of the metal from her power source and Carl officiates the wedding 

Dani gets horny watching Grace eat a peach and jerks off and Grace ends up hearing her and then they fuck (I have been calling this “the peach fic” in my head but I gotta stop being delicate about it lmfao it is just porn)

B and I have plans to do a Nico/Karolina Jasper in Deadland AU but we keep forgetting

I MUST WRITE FOGGY AND KAREN SADLY FUCKING IN A CHURCH WHILE THEY MOURN MATT THIS YEAR I STG

do you accept prompts:

uhhhhhh I have on occasion written a prompt for someone before but it’s pretty rare and I have enough trouble writing the shit I come up with in my own head lol. but never say never?

upcoming story you are most excited to write:

I’ve got a bit of the Bobbi/Kara Warehouse fic written and it’s nice to go back to that world. Also I’m weirdly excited about the Cam/Donna smutty character study I mentioned above, I have a lot of what I think are good ideas for it and it’ll be fun.

tagging @unwind-myself @swiftzeldas @swashbucklery @loved-the-stars-too-fondly and, if you want to, you!

[popculturebuffet]

Star Vs: Monster Bash Review or “Holy Shit Concentrated Into An Episode”

Hello everybody! I’m Jacob Mattingly and welcome back to my tom lucitor retrospective, where I go through every major apperance of everyone’s faviorite demon boy boy. In case you watch my schedule or reguarlly read this blog, and if so thank you.. especially you Kevin your a peach, you’ll know this one got pushed back two weeks because the day it was scheduled.. was the day AFTER the US Capitol Insurgency. So yeah an episode HEAVILY dealing with racisim, with a downer ending and a lot to dig into on the same day a bunch of racists stormed the captail to try and illegally keep another racist in office due to his bullshit claims the electoin was fraud, when it wasn’t he just can’t admit he lost, and their own idocy, violence and hatred was not something I could handle that day and I did some mickey mouse instead.  But while the effects of said riot are still being felt, and unlike many republicans are saying we shouldn’t just “move on” or “try to heal” because the wound needs to be properly examined so the people who carved our country open with a rusty knife can be prosecuted for it, enough time has passed that I can get back on the horse and eat that horse when it comes to this episode. Also expect new tomtrospective weekly with some exceptions till it’s done. So with the real world reasons for the delay out of the way, on with the show.  Previously on Star Vs: Star had a full subplot dealing with her super powered mewberity form, which was now golden and creating bunches of portals. While she wanted to just let it go loose on Eclipsa’s suggestoin, eventually it caused too much damage and Hekapoo was livid when Marco revealed he’d been covering for her and Star, realizing her friend was running himself ragged and ruined a friendship to help her, went to the source of all magic to fix things, metting the baby unicorns and with thier help gaining control over her form. While she does not use it given she JUST got it before this episode, it’s very relevant and makes her come off very stupid but we’ll get to that

In more directly relevant stuff, and our main event, we need to talk about Ms. Henious. Ms. Henious was introduced all the way back in Season 1 as head of St. Olga’s School for Wayward princsesses. She’s voiced by Jessica Walter, aka Malory Archer, Lucille Bluth and .. Fran Sinclair from dinosaurs?

I’ll process that later. Point is she’s a talented lady and voiced Henious perfectly. Henious ran the school as a nightmarish hellhole that stripped away princsesses indviduality when they became too much for their parents. Granted some did genuinely need to be reigned in, Pony went there and so did princess squishy a princess that tried to reinact the plot of face off despite her and star not even being the same species let alone looking remotely similar.. she also liked to say camera phone a lot despite all phones being camera phones for over a decade. 

But again like most reform schools it’s a hell hole dedicated more to beating and psyihholically tourturing the rebel or asshole out of you than actually helping so Star and Marco broke in to break out. It naturally was difficult and strenious but in the process our heroes freed the other girls and Marco became feminsest icon Princess Marco. And Marco’s possible gender fluidity, or being trans,  was well loved and while he was later said to hate the princess marco idntenity later.. I still dont’ quite buy it and feel Disney just wanted to nip any implications in the bud. Because their stupid and often non-inclusive to the queer community and have to be fought to get inclusivity in there half the time. Could’ve been clumsy writing and the writers not getting people really relating to marco possibly being gender fluid or trans, which given this season’s clumsy writing with marco in general I could buy, but i’m banking more on disney, where one executive can somehow stonewall gay representation because apparnetly one guy was the one who objected to enchanting grom fright.. and he can also go fuck himself with an old rhino’s horn. Which horn is up to you. Also we got two major hints at the future iwth her: a creepy mural star found of monsters and Henious being revealed to have cheek marks she supressed with her very own brainwashing machine. 

Our heroes revolution had uintetional side-effects as St.O’s became a party school, though it’s students actually still came back better for the moast part. Henious was thrown out, reduced to sleeping in her car with her manservant gemini and sending Rasticore, a septarian mercinary afer star.. and then carrying his arm around when he got reduced to that.. not because of star but because of a rogue gift card. We don’t have time to unpack that, so she later tried attacking one more time in season 2, in one of the single worst episodes of the series, as she attacked and Marco’s Parents, instead of being concerned about the strange woman and man and lizard man arm attacking thier children, were more concerned about.. tehir cool neighbors. which could’ve been funny but just got frustrating, especially because Marco defended himself well, pointing out while he trashed her school, and gets merchandising rights from princess marco merch, she you know, brainwashed innocent to semi innocent children and was in general horrible and his parents are only humoring her because they were both out of hte loop, which due to this being shortly before star and marco leaves amounts to nothing, and because of the stupid plot. 

So after that we got one more apperance in season 3 with her trying to expose marco as a boy to turn the princsses against him and get her school back.. but it was clearly a desperate and flimsy plan and they knew that already, and don’t care because their accepting. And again have done better without her so she gets thrown out and swore revenge on Marco, and here we are.  Finally, since returning Star’s been more active in monster rights, replacing their old batshit insane and patronizingly racist expert with Buff Frog and starting a position to get royal signatures. Obviously this dosen’t sound like the most effective way to do things but it’s both teenager accurate and not the worst plan i’ve heard from a teenager this week.. granted that’s also because I covered a teenager trying to win back her good for not a lot 23 year old boyfriend by stabbing his current girlfriend he left her for a bunch, so it’s not exactly a high bar to clear. So outside of the golden form thing, which i’ll get to in the review proper why I brought that up, that’s what’s all built up to this the mid season finale. While Stump Day DID come after this, I chose to cover it before it since it both takes place before that and feels out of place in the very story heavy episodes after it. So with that out of the way we’ll be taking a look at the full episode and Star’s horrible, no good, very bad night under the cut. 

We open at the Monster Temple, that place Ludo and Toffee were headquartered at for season 2 and the battle of mewni mini, where Star is holding a PARTY!

This.. this came up when I typed party. I don’t know why and I don’t WANT to know. I mean party is in the name.. is that a party line? Is this phone sex? No.. just no.. I don’t want dirty sweaty pigs in my phone sex.. I want Rocko like a gentlemen. 

Now THAT’S hot. And honestly with what i’ve admitted about myself at this point, can you genuinely tell if i’m joking or not?  Point is Marco and Rich Pidgeon are pitching in. Oh yeah those of you who didn’t get this far in the series, again hi kevin, might wonder wait whose that... well he’s a rich pidgeon, part of the pidgeon kingdom a kingdom of pidgeons that moved into another family’s castle, presumibly killed them, the book wasn’t specific on that and is now just a large bunch of pidgeons that don’t talk human except rich and get all creepy. They also have an excutioner which is as great a visual as you imagine. 

That and Marco tried faking singing rich singing it by shving a pien in his foot and making him sign it.. he didn’t know he was fully sapient but still. But it’s also season 3 marco. The fact he didn’t accidently burn the castle down trying to impress star and being mad when she wasn’t happy he comitted arson is an achievement. Rich apparently holds a grudge but says just kiddng.. maybe.. i’d be prepared for a pidgeon with a machete if I were Marco. Thankfully i’m not.. I mean I hate myself enough. 

Anyways the party is in full swing, as both monsters and mewmans are there. On the mewman sides are the royals we met at the Silver Bell Ball and on the monster side are a bunch of monster teens who look up to star we previously met during the Ludo arc in season 2. Pony arrives bringing a photo booth. And kelly! 

And also Johnny Blowhole...

That dolphin what showed up a few times, including in the comic and the show, like most of it’s supporting cast, just sorta forgot. Also was going to be my porn name, just in case till it ended up attached to a fictonal teenager. Did.. did not think naming a character “blowhole” through did they? 

Anyways the party is at “middle school dance” levels of awkward with the monsters and humans on other sides. Rock seems to be getting ready for a racist tyrade and singles out a yak like monster.. only to instead compliment the guy’s ripped jeans and the two compliment each other on horns... turns out the ones Rock always wear aren’t decorative but part of him due to a boating accident. Shame we never got more of this kid. that’s a good kid I tell you what.  But honestly and since the moment is right given their all in this episode.. we never get a lot of the other royals outside of tom and star PERIOD. While Penelope would show up one last time and Larry would make a cameo for the most part their just.. background filler. Even this pettitoin arc was two episodes long. Rich is BRAND new and he gets way more focus.. and even he only gets to show up again for the big “Gondor calls for aid moment” in season 4 where star summoned whoever she could get on short notice. And is the ONLY royal to besides Ponyhead. Larry has an intresting enough design but the underwater kingdom only got featured in the deep trouble tie in comic that got cut short, and he wasn’t created yet so he doesen’t even show up for it. Jagg’s is such a footnote to the creators she dosen’t ever show up after this, and finally Rock, despite being star’s COUSIN and despite his kingdom being specifically mentioned as the hardest to make sympathetic to eclipsa during her own entirely ignored arc trying to win over the other kingdoms, and despite it being where River comes from and thus possibly providing some more insight into that awesome, awesome man.. we get nothing. Hell the Cloud Kingdom of the Ponyeheads ONLY gets two visits despite being home of one of the main cast.. god I just realized Ponyhead was part of the main cast. 

So while I grapple with that, Star figures the punch is too warm and while Marco goes to get ice, she tries to remind him she can do magic and accidently puts it in your standard cartoon ice block.. and being star gets her tounge stuck. Thankfully her savior comes in the form of tom who being.. you know.. tom.. can simply melt it down and reminds her he’s been there the whole time. She’s just been a bit distracted with you know, trying to ease centuries of racial tension in a well meaning but ultimately pointless at best and risky at worst, partay. And dosen’t seem to get WHY she dosen’t want to dance.. even if they do have a REALY fucking cute moment where he leans in to kiss her, she catches him on it.. then blows a raspberry into his mouth when he does and smooches him on the cheek a bunch. 

But the whole thing leaves him as a grumpus venting to marco and boiling the punch.. though at least Marco gets to use that ice now so silver linings and all that. And when marco tries to explain he tells him he dosen’t “talk politics”

My baby boy.. i’m so disapointed in you. And Marco points out as he leaves “your a prince everything you do is political. “. Which is.. HALF true. I mean tom going to the bathroom or eating a taco or taking his grandpa fo ra walk on his leash so he dosen’t gouge anyones eyes out isn’t political.. but he’s also not wrong that being the half demon half mewman son of two royals, DOES mean tom can come off political and one previous episode which he made a cameo in even had Tom being profiled, with a shopkeep who shoed out another monster kid tried that on tom.. only to realize who he was dealing with and beg for mercy he probably only got because Tom’s trying to be a better person now. And I don’t think i’ts even malcious on tom’s part, tom isn’t the most empathetic guy. He’s nice, he’s sweet, and once he knows you he can be really thoughtful.. but as we’ve seen throughout this retrospective.. empathy is something he’s struggled with. He stalked star because he didn’t see HER side of him creeply and obessively persuing her until Marco got through to him. He missed the point of his therapy assignment, seeing it as a goal to get passed instead of hwat brian intended: for him to geninely make amends with someone he hurt. He didn’t get that while star didn’t, at the time, want to date him ignoring her would hurt her... though that on’es not on him. He’s not a bad guy at all but he’s not at all great at reading people or being selfless.

 He’s getting there, stump day showed him put stars needs before Marco’s and not out of any selfish dick measuring contest but because he knew what she wanted and what made her happy, but it’s hard to have empathy for a problem you don’t get how bad it is. To tom it’s just getting stopped once in a while and then having to glower or literally roast someone. To these monsters... it’s a life of being denied a decent standard of living, housing and being treated as a crminal and a beast just for existing. Tom has a fancy castle, loyal subjects, tons of money.. his privlage has insulated him from the real dangers of being the minority he is, of getting beaten up by the cops or arrested just for being a monster. And yes i’m using real world paralells.. but so does the end of this episode so shhh. It’s also a moral that hits home since as a white person, the last year has hit me HARD with just how much I didn’t know about the racial situation in america and how complacient i’d become. I wasn’t actively racist.. but like many americans I had the bad tendency to forget the horrible things that happpend on a daily basis to people of color in this country when it got out of the news. Privlage can blind you, and I cannot speak for if it does so for any real life minorties as i’m not touching a subject i’m not qulaified to talk on due to being super white with a ten foot pole, but I can speak for me that sometimes you just.. dont’ notice a problem unless i’ts happening to you. And while it has happened to tom it’s such a minor inconvience he probably just forgets about it and moves on. And these next two episodes with him, though we have some plot stuff to get too before we get back to Tom in feburary, are him getting his bubble popped and realizing just WHAT Star has been fighting against. And Star’s own privlage will be an issue later.. but we’llg et to that in it’s own time.  So while Tom skulks off Rich startles Marco to get him to do his kung fun hand pose “the sword hand dance” and everyone uses it to dance which Marco understandably objects to until kelly asks him to dance. Cue adorable ship tease.. again this is why i’m thrownig in the kelco episode in the next batch: because the trajectory of this relationship eeerily lines up with tom episodes. No sense avoiding the ONE other episode about the ship , especially if i’m going out of my way to cover the Meteora arc on top of it and my other 80 projects. And regular coverage. And comissions. And you get the idea it’s a lot but i’m happy to do it. 

Meanwhile we meet Slime, a friendly slime monster who introduces himself to penelope and her massive spider bite... and then drips a bit giving her the wrong impression. Thankfully.. this does not turn into the PG-Rated versoin of BLue from the heathers musical. 

No he just was offering to aloe up her spiderbite, and she’s all too happy to accept since her family never thought about it.. though as we see next season their not against it suprisingly. They are still dicks though. But not racist, though that’s a very low bar to clear and only gives them credit because mewni as a whole is pretty racist when it comes to Monsters. Point is I hate their parents but love these ship as the two share some ship tease and go downstairs.. only to get attacked.  Meanwhile, Marco’s getting a goblin dog while being watched by Henious.. who despite Gemini’s objections.. no longer cares about her cheeks as she grins sinesterly and has him play her music, some heavy metal. FORESHADOWING!

Back at the party, Star adreses her public and is all proud and blushy.. till Penelope stumbles in, covered in scars, telling the crowd something took Slime.. and both sides start blaming one another, especially since it turns out a LOT of the monsters have gone missing. So with everything she worked towards and had achieved crumbling, Star calms the crowd and says she’ll investigate. Outside Marco is getting a goblin dog with roy, and wondering why he has strawberry, who orders a strawberry.. who wants that? And then decides to get one out of curiosity which I would but i’m also fat and love strawberries so i’m not a beacon of good decisionmaking. 

So Star grabs him before he can roll that metaphorical dice and passes tom who tries to downplay her concerns and get her to go make out, thinking that’s what’s going on despite that.. making no sense, as a ton of them are missing and 6 is a bit much for polyamory.. I mean it works for some people 

But not everyone can be a majestic space grandma whose also a caterpillar. And their too young to orgy so that’s out too. Point is Tom is an idiot this time and Star RIGHTFULLY calls him out for belitting her cause, not really caring about it, or the other teens who are in danger right now from god knows what and tells him to either help or get out of the way. 

So while Tom licks his well earned wounds, Star and Marco journey into the depths and find a campsite with fresh dog eared pages indicating whoevers behind the abudictions is not only sapient, but still here... oh and it somehow gets worse as they find out WHOSE behind it. 

And a second question you might be having: Who dis. Well this is Mina Loveberry, solarian warrior, whose a legend in Mewni and was one of star’s childhood heroes who she found wondering around homeless and clearly not mentally well in the park on earth.. and then tried to conquer it, but the electoral process stopped her... I don’t know why but a half crazed maniac being defeated by due electoral process makes me feel all warm and fuzzy right now, on this specific day this is coming out late on. Hmmmm.. INTERESTING aint it? 

Point is Mina is a super powerful, super not in her right mind super warrior, who is naturlaly the kidnapper, as this episode also reveals she’s violently racist and assuemed something was up and whiel Star, who despite said cou still loves and respects her and gets she’s not well, tries to talk her down it increasingly becomes clear there’s no reasoning with her. And really with most racists.. there isn’t. Racisim isn’t something that’s rational and while some people are just indocrinated at a young age and CAN be turned around on it.. some are just so deeply up their own ass with hatred you can’t reason with them or save them. You just have to stop them. Via impeaching them, making sure they get called out and taken out of office.. or in this case using rainbows on them.  But we’ll have to wait a second as a bunch of debris falls on mina taking her out!

.. Only to reveal Henious and while Marco’s willing to fight her and her posse, Raasticore grabs star and henious hooks him up to the brainwash machine, probably planning to kill him with it while playing the music

But before she can kill or do worse to one of our heroes.. the door behind them opens up.. and reveals a child’s play room. 

And Henious.. gives up on the attack and enters, disturbing Gemini as she looks around in what’s easily one of the best scene sin the entire series: her slow walk, the way the animation follows her as it sinks in just what Metora might be.. and her picking up two dolls, the ones seen above.. her dolls to Gemini’s increasing discomfort. And while the animation is stellar and utterly moving as we slowly put the pieces together... it’s Walter’s delivery that REALLY STUNS.Gone is the harsh, unforgiving nightmarish woman we’ve known.. and instead is someone whose confused.. and remembering. Remembering WHY she has those cheek marks, remembering this was her room, her home.. and those were her parents. She remembers now.. and Mina rises to say of course she did “I knew you’d be back here one day meteora!” And as Gemini tries to refute this.. Meteora agrees with MIna, no longer henious at last freed form her deep and abusive brainwashing we’ll cover soon enough. And deeply confused. And as everyone else is deeply confused... Mina, not realizing this whole thing was covered up, again we’ll get to that soon too, spells it out for them and the audience in case you missed it. When Star asks how Eclipsa plays into any of this? “Don’t you ding dongs know anything? She’s her mamma!”�� (Marco and Star stare in shock as it sinks in) Marco: “Wait HENIOUS is a princess?!”  Star: “she’s a butterfly”

Yeah quite obviously this is one of the biggest wham episodes in the entire series. In one moment we not only find out Henious is indeed a butterflfy as fans thought.. but Eclipsa’s daughter, half monster, and her entire existance raises questions of how much her family hid and if not WHO DID. I mean some of you alreayd know the answer but the rest of you can wait a week.. or a few mintues it’s hinted at soon enough. Point is Star has questions.. questions the violent racist whose pretty messed up in the head for a variety of the reasons and spent decades hunting her.. is not willing to hear out and instead prepares to smite her. While Star tries DESPERATLEY to talk her friend out of this it’s very clear Mina’s not going to listen... so Star rainbow fists her.. and prepares to face her former friend and inspiration for Meteora’s saftey and the answers she BADLY needs right now. Oh and just in case you thought “oh well the magical girl who sounds like amy sedaris can’t be that big a threat”... Yeah I didn’t mention broly for nothing. 

Mina bulked up. Meet Solarian Mina. And like the Legendary Super Sayian form from Dragon Ball.. i’ts a beserker of a form that turns the already obessive and insane Mina.. into an unstoppable rage fuled killing machine with horrifying levels of power who can beat down anyone nearbye. And unlike Broly, where he was just a one in a million fluke in both versions... Mina was PLANNED to be this. The solarian program was something Eclipsa’s mom came up with, a series of spells that slowly turn the target into a rampaging super soldier. It’s like if Nuke from marvel comics, a vietnam era version of captain america who dind’t turn out so good, was INTETIONAL; 

As you can see it removes fear.. but also the targets concisce, so Mina is incapable of empathy or being cure dof her racisim. Solaria turned her from a humble volunteer just hoping ot help and improve her station into the crazed monster star now faces.  And as the Broly comparision should make clear... yeah Star dosen’t do so good and neither does Marco. She shrugs off Star’s hits and while botht he kids and meteora escape, both just piss Mina off MORE, and put star in more danger as she’s thrown around like a ragdoll.  She then runs into tom who shows off his growht: While he was a dick up there.. unlike before where he assumed he was always the wronged party.. he realized he crossed a line and while he dosen’t know WHY he did, is still willing to apologize and presumibly talk about it. A bit clueless yes but it’s effort and his tone is sincre so it’s less “I’m apologizing for whatever I guess” bullshit and more “I genuinely don’t know wha ti did wrong please tell me so I can say sorry”.. which given how awkard tom is with people and how I pointed out his trouble relating to them over htis retrospective, is the more beliviable one.  Naturally while Star does appricate it she’s kinda busy.. and when Tom see’s what’s going on he leaps in with NO hesitation. And given how close the luictors once were and are again with the butterflies it’s doubtful he hadn’t heard of mina so he likely KNOWS what he’s going up against..a nd dosen’t care. His girlfriend needs his help and this person’s trying to hurt her. That’s all he needs to kick her ass. Or try.. unlike with the z warriors.. our heroes don’t win this one. Tom tries a really cool move i’m dubbing the onyx coffin, a black coffin with runes and chains.. that does nothing to her. She breaks out and our heroes flee and Mina causes a massive ruckuss above, and the only reasons our heros don’t die.. is that the knights and Rhombulus of the high comission arrive.  And since the high comission are going to be vastly important a refresher: The high comission were created by glossaryck, the little man who lives in stars book who used to be voiced by an asshole and next season is voiced by keith motherfucking david, to police the multiverse and it’s various issues. The four we know are Lekmet: a goat man who died last season and controlled entropy and could heal at the cost of his own life hence the death, Hekapoo, a close assiocate of marcos who controls the scissors beings use to cross dimensions and can do so herslef effortlessly, Omnitraxus Prime, a powerful and giant antler skulled being who watches space time and timelines and is voiced by Karl Weathers so...

And Rhombulus, a diamond headed he-man reject with snakes for hands becaue his dad is a well documented dickhead.. no really that’s the entire explination i the book of spells: Glossaryck turned his hands to snake to teach him the lesson i’ts hard to get through life with snake hands. He’s a gung ho guy who imprisons the wrost of the worst criminals thus his presence here as Mina clearly had a falling out with the comission and thus flees.  So while Star and Tom are given blankets afterwords and some cocoa, Tom comforts her and admits if nothing else.. he gets it now, having been finally faced with the type of horrible shit monsters have had to deal with in the past and sees why his girlfriend tried hard to help it. But Star.. realizes she can’t fix this that easy. That she dosen’t know enough and clearly ther’es even more than she ever could’ve thought possible she has ot know if she’s going to fix this.. and that it’s not an EASY problem to fix. You really CAN’T fix racisim you can just make society better, but you’ll never be rid of people like Mina. Though this arc will.. yeah in one of the more baffling decisions Mina is given this huge reindrocution, with Amy Sedaris showing that while a very funny lady and a very talented actress as bojack had previously shown off for both.. she can be FUCKING TERRIFYING. But nope, she’s just..g one outside of a cameo, gets beatne off screen and dosen’t become big bad for a season. And I get it, the metora arc needed room.. but you had a WHOLE EXTRA EPISODE to have her defeat mina. Inastead you used it for Marco Jr which amounted to almost nothing and could’ve been saved for season 4 wher eit probably woudln’t of been terrible. I”ll get to that one some day. Point is it’s bad storytelling. 

So yeah Star’s feeling lost, her family history is in flux, she got beaten badly, not horribly injrued but still lost handily, her party ruined and  she was hit with the realization her plans were overly idealistic. Well meaning sure but a party was never going to cure this. Oh and Rhombluus naturally isn’t coming clean about why the temple is off limits or what’s going on here so that dosen’t help.  And somehow.. IT STILL GETS WORSE. The Wizard Cops try to take the monsters in , profling them and not having done so and star thankfully talks them out of it but the monster kids turn down any afterparty or anything. They get she means well tbut hte moment’s over. And their not even excesivley sad.. their just.. used to the police treating them like this. Like less than human, like automatic suspects when THEY were the victims. IT’s nothing new... and god does this feel relevant as hell.

And this i where I meant Star’s privlage bites her: While not as bad as tom, it took some very harsh reality for her to see that solving racisim.. is not only nigh imposisble but not that easy. To her it was easy as a party and friendship and what’s worked before in her fairly shelted world. Advetnures or not she’s still a princess whose never experinced prejudice. In both worlds she’s in the majority. It’s probably why Marco conttoned on to monster racism in seconds during “Menipendence Day’ when Star hadn’t her whole life: to Marco, whose latix and thus dealing with all kinds of racist shit his whole life, it was easier to pick it up. He’s firmly part of his culture.. and thus probably firmly aware of the racism he faces. Star is so insulated she just dosen’t get it till it nearly beat her to death. So yeah Star’s at her lowest point, having failed to make things better, the answer to her questions being lost and not sure what’s real. Metora on the other hand as they dodge the cops.. has ascended. As Gemini calls her henious once last time.. she says that’s not her name. 

“My name is meteora”

SHe’s been dreaming the wrong dream.. and it’s long past time she woke up. 

Final Thoughts;  Monster Bash.. is one of the best episodes in the series. Unlike a lot of Seasons 3 and 4 it dosen’t suffer from lack of proper payoff, as the next few episodes deal with how the fuck any of this is happening and why the fuck any of it happened. Mina’s absence nonwithstanding.. this is one of the series best and most gripping arcs. And the swerve is great: you think i’ts Henious doing the kindappings, only for her not to be the threat again just yet. And for her to be something far more. It’s just masterful, starting iwth fun hyjinks and ending in one of the best nad most nightmarish fights in the series if not the best, watching as our heroes slowly but surely LOOSE.. and THEN it gets worse. Out and out a must watch for the series and a sad sign of what it COULD’VE been had it moved past it’s worst insitncts next season and become what i should’ve been.  Next week: We take a tom break as Eclipsa nad Mon investigate all of this and we get the SECOND biggest wham episode in the series. 

Until the next rainbow, be excellent to each other.

[eeriefeelingsat3amuwu]

The first meeting

Tw: mentions of burning alive, food mention, blood, injury (minor)

Julian made sure that his cloak was secured around his shoulders and his cape wouldn’t fall and pulled a scarf over his mouth and nose before he even stepped foot into the city. He certainly wasn’t in the mood for running from guards today. For fucks sake, he just wanted to buy some bread. How did he manage getting himself in the mess that insued half an hour later, he had no idea. He got past the guards near the gate with no problems and went straight to the marketplace. It was never too hard to find it, just follow the biggest noise. He would usually think about stoping in one of the local taverns and having a drink or two, but this was a dangerous town to get caught in. His plan didn’t actually include even stoping near, not to say in, the town he just walked in, but, of course, something had to go wrong. Looking back on it, he thought it might’ve been fate. Then he laughs at himself. No thing such as ‘fate’ exists and even if it did, why would it be so kind to make him step right into Tenzin’s path. But we’re getting ahead of ourselves. At this point, Julian doesn’t even know that Tenzin exists, so we should change that. He bought his long desired bread and was about to leave, when a cloth stand caught his eye. More specificaly, a cloak. He was wearing his old one for like a year now and with his lifestyle, the cloak was in a really bad condition. He checked the cloak out, turning it in and rubbing the cloth between his fingers. Yes, this would do. He payed the clerk and was about to leave.

Suddenly, drums sounded and guards pulled someone onto the podium made from hay and tied them to a wooden pillar in the middle. The head guard started reading the ‘commited crimes’ of the person standing there and as soon as Julian heard the first sentence, he turned around completely and started to make his way through the gathering crowd towards the podium. The fucking guard was accusing them of ‘feeding the city’s strays’ and ‘giving them medical care’. They were being burned for feeding some street kids and treating a scraped knee of one of them. Oh how much Julian hated this fucking city. He was almost in front of the podium when the guard jumped down and grabbed the torch. Julian wouldn’t make it in time. So he did the best thing he could: distracted the guy holding the torch. He threw his newly bought cloak on the guard’s head and then pulled on it when he got close enough, succesfuly making him fall to the ground, lighting the cloak on fire with the torch as he did so. “Fuck!” Julian exclaimed, he really wanted that cloak and he didn’t even steal it! ‘Welp, no time to mourn the loss now’ he thought and jumped up on the podium while the guards tried to smother the flames currently consuming their captain. Julian cut the ropes holding the person to the pillar and pulled the sack off of their head as well. “I hope you have a plan unless your goal was to just hold my hand while I burn,” said the stranger, quickly sliding the remaining rope off their wrists and shooting Julian a pointed look. “Eh, not really, but I’ll think of something. Know this city like the back of my hand. Going or stayin’?” he asked and grinned at them. Instead of answering, they ducked in between Julian’s legs and kicked a guard who just climbed up on the podium in the ankles, sending him back to the ground and then jumped off their stage on the other end. Julian followed, his grin even wider now.

He got in front of the stranger near a back alley, grabbing them by the upper arm and dragging them through. Using a series of smaller and less crowded streets and alleys they got to a point of the city where the walls weren’t as high and the houses were just low enough to climb on, so Julian let go of their arm and climbed onto the roof of one of the houses, leaning back down to help them up. They didn’t hesitate a second, jumping up and getting a hold of his hand, proping themself up on the roof next to him and standing up. Just when Julian was about to jump up on the city wall, a few of the guards ran up to the house and while two of them jumped up and grabbed the edge of the roof, the rest stood down and pulled out their bows, aiming at the two refugees on the roof. He decided in a second and didn’t jump, instead, he found the stranger’s waist, picked them up and threw them onto the wall screaming: “Grab it!” They did and they jumped on the edge and so Julian turned his attention to the guards and their arrows, quickly dodging them and simultaneously trying to get past the two on the roof with him. He probably would’ve died and he almost did, since he got scraped by one of the arrows on the shoulder and those fuckers on the roof cornered him right above one of the city canals, but suddenly the rest of the arrows turned into raindrops and the two guards were yanked off the roof by some weird glowing ropes. He instinctively looked up and saw the stranger standing on the wall with their eyes glowing and...looking distinctively different then before. He didn’t have the time to wonder about that though, so he took a running start and jumped right over wall and noticed the stranger falling alongside him.

After they fell into the pile of hay that Julian knew was there to cushion a fall of off the wall (he escaped this city like five times before), they ran towards the cover of the forest only a few yards away. Once they got under the colorful branches of the forest, they hid behind a wide trunk and ducked down, breathing heavily. “Thanks,” said the stranger in between gasps. “I don’t know who I’m thanking though, mind sharing your name or shall I call you sir misterious cloak?” they asked, a hint of mischief in their voice. “Julian,” he said with a small amused huff, “and who did I save? Oh, but if you don’t tell me, I’d much rather call you...good-looking.” The stranger laughed at this and replied: “Tenzin. But please, I wouldn’t mind being called good-looking by such a handsome guy...” they chuckled at the blush that painted Julian’s cheeks and added, “Seems like you’re the type of guy who flirts but can’t take flirting. Good to know.” The grin on their face made it’s way into the words and so they sounded friendly and not ill-intended. “Now, would you mind spending another half an hour with me? I noticed you tossed a much nicer looking cloak on the bitch that was trying to light me on fire and I do happen to have one nice cloak in my saddle bag.” they said. “Oh, would you be so kind as to give me your cloak? I swear, I’m never buying anything again, hadn’t had this much bad luck whenever I stole something...” he grumbled. Tenzin laughed and patted his back. “You know, I do sell charms for good luck, but seeing todays events, they aren’t effective on such a scale. Hope I didn’t cause too much trouble for you.”| “No, this is my normal day. You actually made it better. I love excitment and you provided it. Thank you for that.”| “Oh, that was no problem, if you want excitement, hanging around a witch is one of the certified ways to get it.” they said and laughed, bowing a little. He spent two more hours with them, grabbing their stuff and engaging in small talk, until they eventually gave him the cloak and bid him goodbye with the sentence “I sincerely hope to see you again, Julian.” As they jumped on their horse and rode off. And Julian couldn’t help but smile after them and silently wish the same thing.

This was the request of @bewaretheidesofmarchyall

Tagging: @definietlynotsatan @exhaustedauthor @nyamafriend