#so im gonna slowly work through that
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ngl youll definitely know when im studying anatomy more because its literally all going to be johnny silverhand drawings.
i fear its the only way ill survive trying to improve my art.
#lowkey forgot i saved a perspective book#so im gonna slowly work through that#and i suppose we'll see how much i improve#i always feel like i need to rush through all anatomy and perspective things#but ngl it lowkey gives you homework after each 'step'#so im probably gonna spend like 1-2 weeks on each thing#i have 2 books in mind to study aaaa#not gonna even bother with anatomy book yet#because obviously im missing something but not doing proper perspective#ignore the fact that this is so off topic for this blog besties#i needed to ramble about how stressful learning to draw more realisticly is#hopefully i can ACTUALLY have a semi realistic style after all this#ive tried so hard#and maybe its bc its my art but it still feels cartoony#yippeeee i cant wait to be able to draw johnny over and over again easily
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Random update sorry everything is taking so long. I've paused Patreon and I'm working on various things, but some people have started to express concern for my safety/living status so just letting you know I am alive!
#between my divorce and moving and the fires closing the webtoon office#its just been a lot!#also im saying divorce even though we werent married#cause after 11 years 'breakup' doesnt quite cover it#he grew up with my family we saw him as a son and a brother so my whole family is very upset#meanwhile his mom pretended to forget my sisters name when she went over there to get me some of my stuff...#extremely upsetting#but it is what it is i am absolutely better off it just suuuuuucks!#got a therapist and shes nice and im like. lmfao. im like halfway through four episodes?#i keep doing lines and then getting overwhelmed an going to work on a different episode#so i am working im just not. finishing stuff...#justifying it in my brain like well this is work that has to get done at some point so as long as im doing SOMETHING#who cares what order it gets done in#so. working on it. im never gonna take on this much work again lmfao i fucked myself over majorly#i want all of these things done still#just gotta let myself do things uh.. one at a time.#not 5 at a time#cause then 5 things are getting done slowly and stressfully#which is just way worse#anyways. yeah im alive don't worry about me#just emotional and busy so im not drawing#delete later
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sorry if idk this but what do you think about Wordgirl now in 2024 do you still like it do you still want to make art or talk about it or are you just done with all of it forever and plus i seen that you haven't made art of it since 2022 so you just done with all of it oh yeah and what about The Magnus Archives + Wordgirl ao3 fic too like is that just going to be and i know that your working on 2 au's now just wanting to know that's all
My interests tend to come in intense bursts and then fade. Unless something like, big happens like it gets a reboot its unlikely I'll be coming back to it anytime soon. As for the fic I don't have any current plans to finish it unfortunately.
#Its so shocking whenever anybody mentions that fic to me#like its just such a specific combo of interests how are there this many people interested in it...#I have some fragments of unfinished chapters for it laying around but I was struggling to get them to work#and I definitely dont have the motivation to finish them now#If youre curious the chapters were going to be Slaughter avatar miss Power and Web avatar Mr Big#and possibly Flesh avatar Butcher but I never got around to starting that one#The Miss Power chapter was basically going to be about her having kind of lost her thread#I wanted to leave a lot of ambiguity as to what happened with her home planet#but she hadnt been in contact with them for agessssss and her radio is damaged and her ship is in bad shape#the chapter was just going to be her being like 'pfff I dont interpersonal connection Im doing great out here. Murdering. All on my own'#Well she has her little squirl thing but she treats him like an animal#mr giggle cheeks or whatever#anyway I wanted it to imply that whatever happened her bloodthirst was destroying her#The Mr Big chapter was from Lesley's perspective#She would have been one in a long long line of assistants that Mr Big went through like candy#Lesley is his favorite though because. while she is terrified of him. shes still willing to push him. to be honest with him#but she also knows exactly when to step off. when to lie to appease him#( its always a tossup as to whether he wants a sweet lie or the harsh truth that day. He can always tell either way#its a gamble he does to be cruel. She always picks right though. or maybe he's more lenient with her than he should be)#He likes that she knows exactly how to push him without ever stepping over the line#He likes that her guilt and revulsion are slowly eating her up inside but shes too selfish to leave#She likes being special. She likes the idea of ruling the world alongside him#She'll always be second in command but shell be so much higher than everyone else#and shes willing to do anything to get that#Mr big doesnt think shell ever make it that far#but he likes her anyway#shes the one assistant he'll be sad about dying#OK damn apparently I did still have things to say about this old fic DAMN#still not gonna finish it tho. they call me the struggler becaus.e writing is a struggle...
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I want to see your OCs in action!
RAHHHH LAURIE DUMP !!!!!
these are just little doodles of my favourite goober ever <3 shes My Main OC so i HAVE to share more of her (shes all i ever think about)
shes so lovely, it would be a shame if something bad were to happen to her :)
(she'll be fine guys)
#aaaanyways the top text is basically just french canadian for:#“im going to punch this guys face in because hes being a right piece of shit and hes getting on my nerves and im at my fucking limit"#i love her so much i CANT#i promise i will be posting more soon ive just been in horrible art block plus life is very overwhelming atm#some things im gonna post soon is a new laurie ref sheet just with her different ages and stuff#and i mighttt work on some comics with my ocs#idk when theyll be finished but im slowly writing ideas#i also have SO much laurie angst NONE of you are gonna be ready for#laurie wood#gravity falls#art tag#asks#oc tag#through the woods verse
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happy dumb ekky penalty of the day. on this episode of puck over glass. in a tied game. where said tied goal was a ppg. can you tell he also thought it was quite dumb of him to do too? can you? can his screams of agony move you to come to that conclusion as well?
its the "are they gonna call it please dont call it god they have to call it but do they have to? do they really? just because multiple men shouted OUT and pointed at the puck as it flew out doesnt mean they have to call" of it all before yes they do it call it ekky of course they do get your ass to the dumb idiot box
new york rangers @ florida panthers | 12.30.24
#aaron ekblad#florida panthers#2425#not pictured but should be mentioned the OUT. OUT. ITS OUT. the rags enrupted into as ekky just silently screamed#he compels me so much#congrats to this dumb bitch whos at least aware of it#its the realisation for me 😭😭😭#the same face i make when i tell myself okay this finger movement is not working for this append chart lets try another one.#and doing the same movement and breaking my combo yet again. and just screaming at my ipad.#sorry you fc ONE append chart and you think youre a god and you have to be humbled yet again#anyways#PLEASEEEEE HIS EYES SHIFTING BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN THE OFFICIALS TO SEE IF THEYRE GONNA CALL IT#COMICAL#the slowly dawning horror that hes not magically gonna get away with it to which he just rolls his eyes and looks up at the jumbotron#shes so sassy and she will be disciplined for it!#experiencing the consequences of your actions all by yourself handsome?#love him just fiddling with the towel and bottle in the box like i love what you did with the place#hes trying to distract himself from his stupidity#im afraid you cannot ignore the wind whistling in your ears because there is nothing inside that head of yours a gust just passes through#sometimes i think he cant commit a dumber penalty and then he does#its really like magic
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the bittersweet but absolute flood of relief that comes from admitting defeat at living independently, to have to move back in with parents. we tried! we gave it our best shot for almost 3 years! but living like this (being on our own) is just not possible for us at this time of our lives. we've finally proved it to ourselves that we can't do it. it'll be okay to let ourselves rest now
#latimers parents not mine!!!! i am NOT moving back to florida LOL#really hope that the changes will be good for my mental health. this apartment is toxic to us#ive been on the verge of meltdowns Kind Of A Lot lately. imnot doing great#extremely dependent on substances. just to reach a baseline level of functioning. but even that isnt working as much anymore#the only things i do on my phone or tablet these days is like. 2 mobile games. and skirting past my dms to check latimers blog#its too overwhelming to even open discord these days yknow. everything on earth is too much for me right meow#i havent been drawing i havent been social online OR irl i havent been cooking or creating#i havent been keeping up with personal hygiene like at all im particularly ashamed about that one#i've been really bad about doing my T the past few months which is a HUGE shame because im SO fucking hyped to be on it#theres just. too many obstacles in getting it done half the time. and the other half of the time i just forget#anyway. anyway.#our lease ends in july so between now and then we're just gonna try our best to tolerate our living situation enough to get by#there's a light at the end of the tunnel. and its called 'i only have to be in charge of like 2 rooms at most. and not a household!'#we're gonna try to slowly comb through all our things between now and then so the process of moving wont suck as bad#cuz listen. its pretty fucking bad right now#maybe not for other people. but it is for me. and its okay to let myself come to terms with that#im just. so relieved. still very stressed! but theres at least light at the end of the tunnel and its only like 2 months away#ill be able to draw guilt-free again. ill be able to just EXIST guilt-free#i dont think ive felt guilt-free for just existing the way i do since like. turning 20#i know my mom wouldve loved if i stayed home forever. and im sad i cant be there for her#but ever since i had a fight with my dad at 15 or 16 it just really felt like he didnt want me there more and more#maybe as the youngest he was resenting that i was preventing him from becoming an empty nester or something. i dont know#because all the other kids had been moved out and on their own at least once but i had never left home before#i dont know if he'd be heartbroken or not to hear that i feeling like he was resenting me. but thats the energy i was picking up for years#i dunno. i dont know#anyway. back to housing. for now im going to try to relax and store energy for the moving process#the huge pile of things by the kitchen? i dont have to worry about that becoming permanent because we're leaving in 2 months#the general discord of the state of our possessions? we have to go through everything to pack it all anyway. we can move in RIGHT this time#when we moved in here we didnt have a car or license so we were dependent on latimers 3-hr-drive-away parents to help us move#just /across town/. and we had a whole month between leases! but it still had to be done in a weekend
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opening fucking flipaclip again I'm getting desperate. need draw. need create.
#i make yet anothet post just for me 👍#i have like 5 anons to work through on this blog if you see this im so sorry 😔#i THINK i know who you all are as mutuals?? I'm praying my guesses are correct#but youre probably gonna have to wait until morning i have to do this im going insane#<- [FBI VOICE] put down the animatic. put it down#slowly. on the ground
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😍😍😍
#accidentally slept through my only class today#which whoops sorry. (my 9am english)#which kind of killed step 1 of a plan of mine but thats okay#anyways THEN i had to go downtown to pick up this award bc i forgot to show up to the ceremony like a dumb dumb#but the building was like a 25 minute walk and it was COLD (punishment for my dumb dumbness tbh) but anyways i got there early so i walked#around the block and then went inside and picked up my medal#and i was already far downtown so then i popped my head in a couple of stores as i slowly walked back#got a few things from target. new hair clip nail polish m&ms pens and then a mango. very excited to eat that either later today or tomorrow#then i popped in the calligraphy store and then the comic shop and looked around. saw some white ribbon in the calligraphy store which ive#been looking for but didnt get it because it was a bit wide and kind of expensive and i want a lot for my project idea#(want to write out some of my favorite poems on them in sharpie and then use it to accessorize)#and then i went to the comic shop and peeked around. saw a nubia issue and a few gl 2021s in the discount bin but i didnt get them bc#they were all middle issues and i havent read those books yet although i do want to someday bc my guys were in them. one of the gl 21s even#had simon on the cover so i was very !!!!!!!! thats my guy!!!!!#didnt buy anything there but i did ask the guy to make sure to order a copy of the spirit world tpb so ill stop by to get that in a few wks#and then i went to the bookstore cafe and got a cold brew and did a but of English there. they have tables in the stacks its nice. the one i#grabbed was just surrounded by old paperbacks of sci fi and thrillers lol. didnt see anything id read but recognized a few author names like#card (no enders game though) and the pern lady (idk her name i havent read it). anyways did half a blog post thats technically late (ill#backdate though dw) and then packed up and i grabbed a gyro from the halal cart on that block which i just finished back at my dorm <3333#anyways good times. now im gonna try and spam some work and go to freaking trivia team for the first time in a month later. oops#blah#oh and i think the halal cart guy may have given me a free soda. unsure abt that though bc its possible it came with and i was just being#silly again. so anyways i had a ginger ale too
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sneak peak at something I'm working on rn, my motivation has hit an all time low but I so want to finish this piece :'))
#micas art#twst#silver vanrouge#sebek zigvolt#this is something im so excited to get done but at the same time the thought of working on it is DREADFUL#i have such a vivid idea of how i want it executed but also im not sure i have the skills necessary to pull it off#like intricate layered background?? flowing water??? NATURAL LIGHTING ????? oTL#we're gonna take this slowly boys theres no way i can rush my way through this one#this is only my 1st draft too uwauuughgh
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i quit my job on monday, after a year of working there
i dont have anything lined up, and thankfully im living with family rn so i was actually able to do this, but it felt like something i wasnt supposed to do, mainly because i was laid off from my previous two jobs and it was difficult to get this job in the first place
but looking back at the past year, my mental health has never been worse. really consistent depression and suicidal ideation, very frequent and persistent instances of dpdr when i usually would only experience that in the fall, ridiculously high anxiety levels at times and frequent crying spells, my ocd has never been this bad for so long....
im glad to be done with it
#genuinely how was i functioning#i mean i wasnt i didnt engage in my hobbies or cook or bake or clean#you know this given from how often i posted#im slowly getting through my backlog of laundry and im gonna try to revive my poor plants#i unintentionally lost at least 10 lbs working there. because id be so tired when i got home i wouldnt bother eating a real meal#and then when in depressive eps i couldnt make myself eat#i dont remember much of last year and i didnt feel like a person for half of it
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i think being able to play red dead is a fundamental human right
#the cowboy melancholy is setting in again. i love that fucking game#both of them. lets not pit two bad bitches against each other#im slowly working through my like. fifth playthrough. first playthrough on pc#gonna finally go for 100%. my last attempt was on ps4 and i only realized i missed a mission once i had like every cigarette card. so#also caved and bought rdr on switch. so now i have my john marston tamagotchi#i can't believe its gonna be six in october. i can't believe ive been playing rdr2 for five years#message to all followers. PLAY RED DEAD#🫀
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HELLO FRIENDS!!! slooooowly starting to come out of hiatus SO couple of important things: 1. please LIKE this post if we have an active thread you'd like to continue (i'm gonna try and reply to some anyway, no pressure at all to continue ones you've lost interest in, this is just to help me remember who I owe. also message me or comment here if you've got one specifically you'd like to continue), 2. send me a meme if we don't have anything/if you just want new thread(s) and 3. i am slowly VERY slowly going to be catching up on stuff i missed while i was gone like followers list etc. so if youre still with me or i missed u i wanna say thank u for being patient and hmu if you'd like to write anything specific!!
#VERY SLOWLY UNHIATUS-ING so thank u for waiting friends i really appreciate it#work was hell but we made it through!!! as i often do when stressed i regressed and became obsessed with#teen wol.f once again#*sighs wistfully at the full moon*#ANYWAY gonna try and focus on replies first and then new threads but#i know time has gone by and there are new people here so also wanna get some of those out!!! :D#ok bye i hope ur day is nice#* be the girlfailure you wish to see in the world / ooc.#speaking of girlfailure i also have a dream manipulator oc im working on so hmu if ur interested in that#forgot what email i used tho so 😶🌫️maybe ill have to move her
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Got a better angle on the first one, finished the second one. I didn't plan on going to sleep until I got all three done but I managed to get a sore throat this morning, which hasn't gone away, and now it hurts to breathe so it's beddy-bye time for me (I'm hoping I'm not getting sick for a third time this year lol)
#my pen is slowly fading right now after using it so much#im gonna let it sit nib side down while i sleep and hopefully that'll fix it#this last one won't take nearly as long bc its a smaller space#a corner of a room as oppsed to a whole room#or a whole ass building#that's the hope at least#painting it shouldn't take nearly as long though#the bulk of the line work was going through and cleaning three separate drafts for each page bc i couldn't be too careful#with painting#you only get one chance at it#for better or for worse#meaning it will be done once the page is covered the first time around
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Y'all really know I was raised by witches when I think to myself "why am I feeling so Much lately? Oh duh it's samhain" 🤦🏻♂️
#teddy talks#personal#my grief is uh. close#like the box/button metaphor that button is big as hell recently#but yeah duh its samhain grief is gonna get Real Close#its 3am on nov 1 so i feel like. if grief were ice and im saltwater#slushy and surrounded and wading through#not in a bad way! im remembering things i thought i forgot and i treasure those memories dont get me wrong#ok less like ice and more like....lava slowly turning to magma?#idk my metaphors are escaping me#but to put it in terms my mom would use: the ghosts are rising like the tide around me#which makes me seem a little crazy but ive always had a....thing with ghosts#and ive tried to forget that and put it behind me but thats not exactly working :/#so of youre of that mind - the ghosts are really pressing close lately like they know i can feel it#and i feel like it like when your sibling puts their finger half an inch away from you like 'im not touching you' but. you Feel It#its hard to explain#like remembering a physical sensation almost#like seeing something out of the corner of your eye#anyway if you want to hear my stories about ghosts and shit lmk but thats less the point#the point is my world is Weird rn and im trying to reconcile and pay respect and all that jazz#its candle + meditation time
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mm
#i miss my dog#long story short my first baby that was my own was a puppy that i adopted with my ex#her name is Sarah and she was a rottie/german sheperd mix and was absolutely beautiful#and since ex was recovering from surgery when we got her i raised her from a baby#and did all her training and took her out to parks and new places and just totally threw myself into taking care of her#she was so well trained and so sweet and so nervous all the time. i worked on confidence building with her and she trusted me so much#she listened to me over anyone else and ran to hide behind me when she was anxious and would let me do things she wouldnt let anyone elsedo#and then. of course. when we split up my ex took her with her.#i got the second puppy we'd been raising for a few months at that point.#her logic was that she picked Sarah out so she was hers and I picked Lucas out so he was mine#and it's not that I don't love him but I miss that dog so so much. she's reactive and hard to deal with and my ex just. never dealt with it#when we were together i was the one working on it and taking her out in public even though it was hard and walking her#so i know shes not getting the kind of care she needs. which makes it even fucking harder.#just. im trying to love the dog that I have and i do love him. i do! but she was my baby and i miss her so so much and i know shes not okay#ive been trying to give myself grace and know that i wont have as much of a bond with Lucas as i did with her right away and thats okay#but i know that i resent it a little bit every time im reminded that he's not her. and its going away#but slowly. and im trying to lean into doing the kind of things i did with her like training and confidence building and bonding#but ive been avoiding it because it makes me sad every time. but the lil fucker deserves better. and he needs some manners.#so im gonna work through it and just. do it with him. treat him with as much love as i did her when she was growing up.#itll either get better with time or it wont and ill deal with it when i get to it#but fuck do i miss her so much
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these past 4 days were hellish. Exhausted from all the constant pressure headaches, coughing, congestion, and nose blowing (which would be manageable if it would let up a little). Hard to think when I'm in pain and yet I'm restless from being too exhausted to do anything. wth man
#pardon me. gonna complain here because i got nowhere else to complain#it's all just sinusitis but ive never had it before so I'm ??? ⚰ and now i need to power through work. im dying squirtle#envos ojisan.txt#just complaining btw Im slowly finding ways to alleviate the symptoms
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