#i always feel like i need to rush through all anatomy and perspective things

[fading4ngel]

ngl youll definitely know when im studying anatomy more because its literally all going to be johnny silverhand drawings.

i fear its the only way ill survive trying to improve my art.

[ghostkingdiangelo429]

OOC POST!!:

Today, I will be doing a quick analysis (or synopsis?) of my characters in my musical I'm writing and its plot :)

For those who don't know, I'm making a musical about the modern-ish retelling of the Tale of Icarus and Daedalus. Which, in short, the king Minos locked Daedalus and Icarus (his son) in a very high tower after Daedalus built the labyrinth for Minos' freak "stepson," The Minotaur. Anyways, Daedalus collects bird feathers and studies the anatomy of birds, thusly creating two pairs of wings made of twine, feathers, and candle wax. When it came time for Icarus and Daedalus to take flight, Daedalus highly suggested (demanded) Icarus not to fly too close to the sun, or else he and the feathers could burn and the wax will melt (not in that specific order). So they fly, and Icarus immediately does tricks, like circles and rising as high as possible. Daedalis shouts at him to come down, Icarus's wings melt, and Icarus dies. Happy story to tell your children :D (/j)

In my musical, it's about three main characters, Icarus, David, and Lora in a supercontinent where GrecoRoman beliefs stayed strong and was prevalent, and didn't really care about gender and sexuality and stuff except a small group. Basically, Icarus, David and Lora go to their School's biannual fair (Act I) where they go to a fortune teller (Mr. Fortune, who's real name is Terri Serus (ik, creative name exposition)). The fortune teller does random oracular stuff, telling them their futures. They all get eager and try their best to create that future (Act II) which is done through the perspective of their rooms and at home lives (Lora at the top level, David in the middle/floor level, and Icarus at the bottom level. They are in separate houses, it's just easier on the carpenters and design crew to have it like that). They end up fucking everything up (mostly Icarus), which ends up setting everything into the future they get (Icarus gets true love and to be free, David gets change, and Lora finally can express herself and set her image on the world).

DAVID He/Him:

David is a rambunctious ball of loud energy that wants change, as he's tired of everything being the same every year. Icarus's love interest, they met in kindergarten, but he forgot about Icarus. And the time they kissed each other because little David was happy and following his parent's example ("Well, my mom and dad kiss each other on the cheeks when they're happy, so I kissed you on yours because I was happy :)".) Other than that, David is the same as Icarus in the sense of verbal cues and physical movements, although they arenpolar opposites in personality. Think of average extremely eager theatre/chorus kid and you've got yourself a David.

LORA She/Her:

David and Icarus's best friend, who knows about David and Icarus's feelings for each other and secretly (not really a secret) tries to push them together by pointing obvious facts that they like each other. Think of 2D artist and Chorus kid energy, and you've got a Lora.

ICARUS They/Them:

Icarus is a nervous anxiety ridden teenager with a ton of expectations on them. Their father constantly puts pressure on them not to be gay, to be an inventor like him, who their mother always contradicts their father's words. Their mother is their solace (pun intended... get it? Nico di Angelo joke... whatever.), constantly trying to push Icarus to pursue their feelings for David but warning them not to rush things.

So that's basically everything you need to know for "Finally, The Future" @kindred-spirit-93 :D

Hope you enjoyed! Love yall (platonically), and have an amazing night/morning/evening

[ofgoodmenarchive]

Blighted Empire: 9

Careless Hands

  ...Early researchers operated under the assumption that the social habits of wyverns would share similarities with those of highdragons, due to their visual likeness. With further study, the striking differences between wyverns and dragons became quickly apparent...

  I'm fifteen pages into this bloody thing...

  ...And there's still no bloody sign of him!

  What are they even doing?!

  ...The most prominent difference, and the one that seems to set apart their social rituals, is the inclusion of poison glands into the wyvern's anatomy. Whereas dragons test prospective mates through combat, or competing for prey, the wyvern tests suitors via the poison itself.

  Through scientific observation, it has been concluded this is due to the independent nature of the wyvern. They are loathe to share their territory or prey with any creature they judge as weak. Therefore, trust between these beasts can only be attained when both are assured that the other is hearty enough to withstand their poison...

  ...Maybe that's why he's acting so strange?

  Did I just...withstand his poison...?

  Maker, what am I thinking?!

  He's not a blighted wyvern, Pavus!

  Even if he bloody-well acts like one!

Huffing in frustrated surrender, Dorian shoved the book away. Arms forming a pillow, he dropped his face into it with a private, anguished groan.

  “Dorian...are you actually doing any work over there?” Katerina's voice chided from a nearby shelf, where she was collecting tomes, a few already stacked in one arm. He peeked at his friend from behind a robe-sleeve, the concealed pout evident in his voice.

  “Well, it depends on your meaning...I have a pile of books on wyvern behaviour right here, and-”

  “And you're not looking at them, either!” She scolded, the perfect image of a dedicated scribe in how she frowned, free hand on a hip.

  “I can't focus!” He jolted upright, knocking aside several volumes. “Where is he?! They said they only needed to chat...”

Rolling her eyes, Katerina turned to inspect more titles, absently carrying their discussion.

  “You finally bedded him and now you think you're his handler...”

  “I've done no such thing!” He was prompt in his denial, sitting straighter. “You've seen what he's like! Do you really think I'd take advantage?!”

  “That's definitely not what I said...” She rebuffed airily, not looking from her task. “...well, not the taking advantage bit, anyway. He seems fine to me!”

  “Because you don't really know him...” Dorian observed with a sneer.

  “Fila doesn't seem too worried...”

  “She doesn't really know him either!” Gesturing wildly, he upset more of his book-pile. “At least- not as his own person. She knows him as her older brother- which is fine! But she's more inclined to think of him as invincible than anything else.”

Katerina scoffed impatiently, shooting a glare before immersing once more into her work- though not before dismissing him-

  “Go look for him, then! If you're so bothered.”

Tension stretched across the lightly-crowded library, silence disturbed by the nervous tapping of Dorian's fingers as he pondered...

  “...Fine, I will!”

Chair-legs screeched as he bounced upwards, earning a few scolds and shushes from those who were actually preoccupied with work. Leaving them unacknowledged, Dorian strode into the hall, features twisted in concentration.

  He promised not to keep me waiting...

  ...I don't know why I believed him!

  Even at the best of times -

  isn't that essentially all he does?!

Subduing his frustration was difficult- thankfully not impossible. Evallan's inebriated-like behaviour was already digging under his skin, plaguing him with more questions than answers. One would think that experiencing a chunk of the elf's memory first-hand would enlighten Dorian somewhat. He supposed it did- somewhat- on some things.

Yet already the fragments of Evallan's past were becoming an incomprehensible blur, allowing Dorian but a few scraps of knowledge. A new, much-needed insight on the Keeper's internal world...

At the same time, there were many aspects that still eluded Dorian.

  Has he always been...so terribly clingy?

  Was he just...reigning himself in before...?

Despite this clinginess he was equally open to distraction- more so than usual. Sweeping aside these musings, Dorian refocused his efforts to what distracted the elf this time. Traversing the hall, he eyed the faraway door he knew to be Evallan's, wondering if he'd needed to return for whatever reason...

Regardless, he wouldn't be in the dining hall, would he? He was confined to the higher levels- the Templars would order him to depart once the room emptied. Maybe that's what happened- and in his Entrapped, disoriented state, he'd thought to hide in his room, forgetting to meet Dorian?

There was one way to know for certain, and he felt a tad uncomfortable to simply charge into the man's quarters...

  “...Alright...” He spoke aloud, glancing around to ensure solitude. “...I know you can hear me- and you probably know where he is. Mind lending me a hand...?”

Inspecting his surroundings, he added with a chuckle;

  “Or a....light?”

A response was given- though not involving any kind of visual. Instead he experienced a pulling sensation somewhere in his chest, as if there were a string tied to his ribcage, tugging him along. From this he judged his assumptions to be correct- this sense of pressure clearly led to Evallan's room.

  “I see I'm not worth any fancy veilfire tricks...” He joked to Lightbringer, smirking as he closed the space between himself and his destination. She'd been more than happy to display such 'veilfire tricks' when her chosen lost Dorian's Birthright. Apparently this situation wasn't considered as desperate.

  Which probably means he's fine, at least...

Knuckles rapped against wood, calling out as he did-

  “...Are you there...?”

  “Enter.” The reply was swift- but light. Whatever had consumed his attention, he sounded casual enough. Dorian accepted the invitation with equal swiftness, immediately feeling like the biggest block-head in the tower when he realised why Evallan was late.

Cool eyes blinked up at him from the writing-desk; where a bowl of fresh water, bandages and ointment had been laid out. The Keeper was still mid-way in a struggle with his dirtied wrappings, having paused to greet Dorian.

  “Oh-your bandages- of course...Kaffas- I'm so sorry, I forgot-”

  “It is fine, Dorian.” He consoled gently, seeming to want to wave him off.

  “No, it isn't- here, let me-”

Dorian rushed to perch on a corner of the desk, tentatively grasping Evallan's hands. Though he didn't recoil, muscles tensed in Dorian's grip- which was odd. While Entrapped, Evallan had seemed more than just a little receptive to his touch.

  “I- really do not need...” As awkwardly as he attempted to refuse, he was still docile enough to have aid forced upon him- and now Dorian was slightly suspicious. Why was Evallan so concerned with hiding his hands...? He couldn't possibly be embarrassed!- That was obviously an emotion he didn't have frequent access to, judging by his behaviour the entire morning.

Without his usual strong-headedness, Evallan merely sat and pouted while the spools of fabric unravelled from his palms. It became evident to Dorian why he'd wished to conceal the injuries- though he had to do a double-take - slivers of green light, peeking between creases. Once those bandages were discarded he was faced with a bright pulse, seemingly burrowed into the centre of Evallan's wounded right hand.

  “...Why is your hand glowing?!”

  “Please- do not panic-” Evallan attempted to soothe his nerves before they ran away with him; voice warm, his opposite, mundane-looking hand reaching to lay on Dorian's forearm.

  “I'm not panicking!-” Dorian spluttered, very much panicking. “But- why is it doing that?!”

Fingertips pressed with more urgency into his arm, seeking to comfort- it did help, a little...

  “Lightbringer connected to you for survival.” The Keeper explained, as composed as he was tender. “I was forced to connect to something else.”

  “Something else...?” Turning his brain upside-down for a satisfactory explanation, Dorian tried to angle the scenario through a perspective he could actually understand...

  “...Some sort of...reservoir of will, deep within the Fade...?”

  “Something like that, yes.”

The lack of deeper elaboration wasn't lost on Dorian, sighing wearily in his response.

  “...You're not going to explain, are you?”

  “No.” Evallan's mouth curved sadly, shaking his head. “You will only think me mad.”

He was so sincere and so damn sweetly melancholic about it- Dorian was powerless to argue.

  “Alright, fine...just let me do this for you, then...”

With nothing left to hide, the elf submitted to his fussing. Cautious with each of his motions, Dorian set to lightly cleaning the inflamed areas, already having all the supplies he needed on the desk. Though absorbed in his task, he could feel Evallan's eyes pinned upon him in silent consideration.

READ MORE ON AO3

[flusteredmountainman]

On the writing of the arcana and the newest 3 routes

Overall I’m unhappy with it, I have to say. I know that the head writer left before Muriel, Portia and Lucio’s routes came out, and since then it’s been different and not in a good way. 

The main thing is that the writing is wildly all over the place. With Asra, Julian and Nadia’s routes, they all went through the same events from different perspectives. The same events always happened, with a different twist. Because they were formulaic, we came to know what to expect - so to change everything up for the new three routes actually is disrespectful to the long-time fans. The structure falls apart and it doesn’t work as well as a cohesive body of work. 

Muriel’s route specifically goes wildly off-kilter for the story, and I understand that he needs different care because of his trauma - but that should be woven into the existing narrative - not scrapped altogether. 

A couple things I’m particularly unhappy with as well are that in Muriel’s route - the MC has to sacrifice all their emotional reactions to things, and their needs, for him. I was severely disappointed by their reaction to their own death, and the careless way in which Muriel points it out. Why isn’t MC allowed to have a big emotional reaction like in the other routes? Muriel’s route is about telling him he can rely on other people - but that doesn’t mean relinquishing your own sense of emotional safety and wellbeing to support him?

Also, I feel like the anatomy in Portia’s CGs is like. extremely fucking wild. I wish the devs would stop just rushing to push out content that, to be honest, is below-par. 

I’ll prolly have more to say about this but I’m also sorta behind - I haven’t been keeping up to date much. 

[mediaeval-muse]

Book Review

Echo North. By Joanna Ruth Meyer. Salem: Page Street Publishing, 2019.

Rating: 3/5 stars

Genre: YA fantasy

Part of a Series? No

Summary: Echo Alkaev’s safe and carefully structured world falls apart when her father leaves for the city and mysteriously disappears. Believing he is lost forever, Echo is shocked to find him half-frozen in the winter forest six months later, guarded by a strange talking wolf—the same creature who attacked her as a child. The wolf presents Echo with an ultimatum: If she lives with him for one year, he will ensure her father makes it home safely. But there is more to the wolf than Echo realizes. In his enchanted house beneath a mountain, each room must be sewn together to keep the home from unraveling, and something new and dark and strange lies behind every door. When centuries-old secrets unfold, Echo discovers a magical library full of books-turned-mirrors, and a young man named Hal who is trapped inside of them. As the year ticks by, the rooms begin to disappear, and Echo must solve the mystery of the wolf’s enchantment before her time is up, otherwise Echo, the wolf, and Hal will be lost forever.

***Full review under the cut.***

Content Warnings: blood, violence

Overview: I picked up this book on recommendation from a friend, who also recommended Rosamund Hodge’s Cruel Beauty. I’m always looking for a fun fairy tale retelling, and there were parts of this book that I found clever and enchanting. What prompted me to give this book a middling rating was not the book’s concept or the author’s imagination, but the writing. I felt like Meyer didn’t take advantage of the opportunities for rich descriptions - either of her magical settings or character emotions - and as a result, I think the prose prevented me from fully engaging with the characters or the fantasy world.

Writing: As I said above, the descriptions in this book are rather sparse. While I’m not advocating for lengthy paragraphs that pile detail upon detail, I do think that Meyer could have offered more to make her story feel more vivid. She has some nice turns of phrases and metaphors here and there, but on the whole, I didn’t feel like her prose brought her world to life. For example, when Echo (our protagonist) arrives at the magical house and has her first meal, she describes the banquet: “I sampled little bits of everything: the meat was tender, the fruit summer-sweet, the soup hot and rich with flavor. The glass of pink liquid tasted lightly of honey and berries, and fizzled pleasingly on my tongue.” While I don’t need a catalog of all the food, I did find this description lacking - it doesn’t exactly impart any feeling of richness to me. The same is true for descriptions of the house. Descriptions are given matter-of-factly, without taking advantage of language to impart a sense of otherworldly or magical beauty. Doors are simply red, blue, green, or some other color, stairs are made of dragon scales or paper, some doors are carved with birds or trees. I wanted to be dazzled by this house, but in the end, nothing really popped for me.

The lack of rich descriptions also made for problems in portraying character emotions. While characters would sometimes act in ways that indicated how they were feeling, I felt like a lot of emotions were simply told to us. It felt like Echo (who narrates the story using a first person perspective) had very little interiority, and that her narration was keeping her at a distance from the reader. Meyer attempts to make up for this, I think, with a quirk of hers, which is to repeat something two or three times or to put something in italics. For example, when Echo and Ivan (a guide she hires to take her through the wilderness) slip through some ice, Echo describes rescuing Ivan as “I wrap my other hand tight around Ivan’s arm, and pull” or, when describing emotion, Meyer writes “he wept and wept.” It wasn’t overly irritating, but it happened enough for me to notice as a pattern.

I also thought that the prose was lacking in terms of pace. The entire book seemed to progress at roughly the same pace, which made some parts feel rushed and others feel slow. While it may not be a problem for readers who like their stories to move along, I found that it rushed through events that I would have liked to see explored more or given more emotional weight. It gets a bit better in Part 2, but I still would argue that with all the travel scenes, the pace might not suit some readers.

Plot: The plot of this book follows your typical “Beauty and the Beast” or “Cupid and Psyche” structure. A girl is taken to the home of a prince (or lord, or what have you), the latter cursed by a witch to appear monstrous by day. The prince makes clear that the girl must not look at him at night (which is when he changes back to his true form), lest he be taken by the witch forever. You can probably guess the rest.

In terms of remaking or subverting this plot structure, Meyer doesn’t do anything I’d call revolutionary. It proceeds as one might expect. Where this book shines, however, is in the details that make it unique. For example, the magical house that Echo must routinely “rebind” (something akin to stabilizing) using her magical needle and thread was a lovely image, and the threat of its “unbinding” was intriguing. The library of mirror-books, too, was a wonderful addition, and was an interesting way to think about how we “experience” stories. I also really liked the transformation scene (which readers might be familiar with if they know the story of Tam Lin, for example). The transformations really hammered home how scary and dangerous it might be to hold on to someone as they change form, and I think Meyer handled it well. I also think the stuff she does with time was clever (though I won’t spoil it for you).

But by far the biggest flaw in the plot is the lack of shape. While I got the sense that Echo wanted to help the Wolf, there were so many scenes of her wandering (the house, the mirror-books, the frozen wilderness) that I couldn’t see how scenes built upon one another to progress towards some kind of end; scenes simply happened. I also would have liked to see a recurring theme wound into the plot. While there are some (self-acceptance, the power of stories, etc.), they aren’t really integral to the unfolding of the plot. They’re just kind of there.

Characters: This story is told from the first person perspective of Echo, a sixteen year old girl who was disfigured as a child by the very wolf who pressures her to live with him years later (this isn’t a spoiler - it happens right away). Echo was a refreshing protagonist in that she wasn’t always confident in herself and didn’t have that “pretty but thinks she’s plain” vibe. However, I also found her to be a little too perfect. She reads so much about anatomy that she has basic healing skills, she teaches herself piano, and learns to fence so she can be somewhat competent in any given battle situation. Her only real faults are that she tries to help others too much - she tries to please her stepmother, but ends up angering her by being better at piano; she tries to rescue the Wolf, but accidentally angers him, etc. I wanted a little more nuance from her, some real flaw that she could grow from. I think her scars suggested that her character growth was one of self-acceptance, but I don’t think it was strong enough or woven into the plot other than the moments when she expresses some angst.

The Wolf (our “beast” in this “Beauty and the Beast” tale) is likewise a little void of flaws or interesting personality. He’s mostly there to teach Echo how to care for the house and to be mopey about his impending fate, dropping bits of lore or information when needed. I honestly didn’t get a real sense of why Echo ended up feeling affection for him, other than he was kind. Even when we learn of his connection with the mirror-books (and that’s all I’ll say about that), I didn’t quite understand the appeal. I did like the reveal towards the end of his true motives, but I do wish there was more to him so that we could see why Echo feels things for him.

Supporting characters were likewise a little flat for me. Echo’s stepmother was a bit too stereotypically nasty, the Wolf Queen lacking motivation or nuance, and Mokosh (a fellow reader) a bit too convenient. I never got the sense that they were characters, mostly just archetypes.

Other: This book doesn’t have a lot of proper worldbuilding, which may please some readers, but annoy others. Echo’s village is never really named and we don’t know how magic really works or how it fits in with the non-magical world. I was a bit bothered by the lack of worldbuilding because it meant that I wasn’t fully aware of the limits or rules of the magic, nor did I get a strong Slavic “flavor” to the story.

Recommendations: I would recommend this book if you’re interested in

fairy tale retellings (especially “Beauty and the Beast” or “Cupid and Psyche”)

enchanted houses

Slavic folklore

[nellie-elizabeth]

Grey's Anatomy: It's Raining Men (16x04)

Jeez what a dark episode title, given what happens in this hour of TV!

Cons:

What the heck is this show trying to do with the character of Tom Koracick? It makes no sense. I have been so staunch in defending him over Owen, but it's like they made a decision that Owen is going to be the good guy now, so they have to make Tom a ridiculous jerk in order to compensate for that. It's not funny, it's not clever, it's frustrating in the extreme! Setting aside the love triangle of it all, Tom was a multi-faceted character whose love for Teddy was actually quite sweet and charming. And now he's pretty much a villain and everyone hates him. He antagonizes Owen, and tries to prey on a scared family in order to drum up good publicity for the hospital. There's a moment of nuance when Schmitt calls Jackson to task, but for the most part Tom is just an unimaginable asshole here. I don't like the direction they are taking this character at all.

Also, Bailey's pregnant now too? I feel like they've run out of ways to add drama to the lives of these characters, so they're just giving everyone a baby story-line. Please don't let Maggie or Meredith or Jo get pregnant, I seriously couldn't take it right now.

With this whole Bailey being pregnant thing, we get a somewhat satisfying explanation for why she's been so emotional recently. But even so, I feel like the confrontation between Meredith and Bailey was lacking something. Meredith is apologetic about the publication, and that makes sense. But Bailey fired her, and Meredith still believes that she did the right thing. I feel like it would make sense for Meredith to be the tiniest bit resentful of Bailey's role in all of this. But that's one aspect of this situation that nobody seems to be focused on at all! I find that frustrating.

Pros:

I continue to be delighted by Alex and Richard working at this disadvantaged, chaotic hospital. Owen, who is taking time off because of Koracick, and so that Teddy can work and Owen can stay home with the kids, ends up getting roped in to working with Alex for the day, and then accepts a job to work at the hospital with them. As I said, I hate that we're just supposed to accept Owen as the good guy and Tom as the jerk, but I do like the idea of Grey Sloan continuing to lose doctors to this new hospital. As chaotic as it is, you can tell that Richard and Alex are having a good time trying to make a difference, getting their hands dirty and doing what needs to be done.

As I said, the title of this episode is brutal. Basically, a stowaway on an airplane falls out of the sky and crushes a woman. She and her new boyfriend are both rushed to the hospital. The guy is mostly unhurt, although covered in blood, but his girlfriend dies on the table. The story is about the futility of life, about how everything is so unfair, and random, and sometimes men literally fall out of the sky and crush you to death. How do you protect against that? You can't. Stuff just happens. And yet, out of that, we get the moment of Link confessing his love to Amelia. I love that there's a goofiness to it, as Amelia is laying on top of Link like a compression blanket, something he used to do for her but doesn't anymore because of the baby. We see that Amelia is a little freaked out, but she doesn't bolt. I know that there will be drama, because there always is, but it seems like maybe Amelia is going to stick this one out and try for some real happiness. I'll admit I'd be happy to see that.

So it's annoying that Tom has turned into a cartoon bad guy, but there was one moment with this plot thread that I thoroughly enjoyed. Jackson is playing the smug hero here, as he gets a kid a pro bono surgery and doesn't let Tom get his publicity out of it. On the surface, even if Jackson is being a bit of a tool, you agree with his perspective. The family was clearly uncomfortable with the media attention, but were willing to go through it for the free surgery. Jackson makes them feel more comfortable. The surgery goes great. But then Schmitt points something out - the publicity could really have helped out a lot of people's careers. Jackson is financially secure and his career is already made. But what about the reputation of the hospital as a whole? What about other people's careers? Jackson can afford to be magnanimous, but things aren't always so simple.

The big plot thread of the week is obviously Meredith's incendiary article. She wrote a list of problems with the health care industry as ideas for an article she could write, but the publisher just takes the whole list and publishes it with a headline that makes it seem like Meredith is attacking Grey Sloan Memorial in specific. There's so much juicy material to come out of this, and I loved seeing the various reactions to the news.

Obviously, Bailey is crushed and angry. Meredith is upset that her words are being taken so wildly out of context. Alex is amused. Jo is a little miffed because she's just been made an attending at the hospital, but she agrees with Meredith's points. Helm is still hero-worshiping as usual. DeLuca is trying to support his girlfriend while not associating himself directly with what she wrote. Amelia is a little angry but mostly letting it go. I love how many different reactions there are, and how each perspective is more or less understandable. Meredith is being reckless as regards her personal career, but she's not wrong morally about big pharma, etc. DeLuca is trying to play the middle, and while Meredith is a bit out of line to go off on him the way she does, I can also understand her frustration with his waffling. Bailey, as we've discussed, is obviously hormonal, but even without that as an excuse, I do understand why she would be less than jazzed about Meredith's behavior, and why it would feel like such a personal betrayal.

I must give a shout-out to the Cristina cameo - a text from her to Meredith: "Move to Switzerland before Bailey murders you in your sleep." I understand why they don't do that stuff more often, as it would just draw attention to Cristina's absence, but it is nice to hear something from her every once in a while.

And that's that - another busy episode, with mostly enjoyable developments. I'm irritated as all hell with what they're doing to poor Tom Koracick's characterization, but at least there wasn't more Maggie/Jackson nonsense this week. I like Jackson's new girlfriend!

8/10

[hiyo-silver]

"What's Up You Guys It's Me, Bdenbrough!" - Totally An Art Channel

Summary: Bill finds love in creating a new type of content, deciding it may become more part of his regular posting schedule.

Chapter 1 2 3 4 + ao3

Taglist: @hazelash @fuckboykaspbrak @thesquidliesthuman @rachi0964 @beepbeep-losers @bigbilliamdenbro @jalenrose11 @sleepygaybrough @itandstrangerthingsfanfic @boopboopbichie @peachywyatt @aizeninlefox @sockwantstodie @ahoybyeler @yooonbum @coffeekaspbrak

A particularly blustery and rainy day brings a rush of blue creative energy to Bill’s mind. It’s October again, like when Georgie had gone missing. He doesn’t want to go outside or even have any of his friends over, so he decides the video he must film should be different than his normal ones, a different tone filling him.

He sits at his desk with some of his watercolors and colored pencils, ready to create something like he hasn’t in a long time. His art has been on the backburner for a while, school started a month ago and stripped him of his time and even his own personal way of thinking. It was all Algebra and Shakespearean sonnets. But now, he’ll really try and get himself back into it.

He ties his red locks back with a gray scrunchie, pulling on a sweatshirt to keep warm against the cold and the way the heater in the house has been failing for several years, it just hasn’t gotten around to being fixed. Space heaters and extra layers have always been enough for Bill and Georgie. They would never dare complain, Sharon and Zach try their best. And now Georgie isn’t there to complain to either, and Bill just goes quieter.

He really has been questioning himself recently. He wears a lot of hoodies and sweatshirts, especially the thick ones that sometimes even go down to his knees. Bev says he’s just going through a phase all girls do, having some body insecurity, it goes away after you try your hardest to like what God has given you.

He also really likes the look of his hair tucked up into beanies, a faux pixie cut. He still has to ask Sharon if he can get his hair all trimmed off, he wants it at least up to his ears, it’ll be out of the way then and he won’t have to put it up whenever it gets in his face. It’ll only be beneficial, even if Sharon doesn’t think it’s so cute.

Bill isn’t so sure it’s the same insecurity Bev has been feeling. She’s excited about growing a chest and her hips widening, but Bill can only feel fear for the impending changes of his body. He thinks it’s wrong. It hasn’t been so much of a problem before, but middle school has jump started deep feelings of discomfort with every piece of himself, except maybe his own mind.

He never has his nails groomed, but since he’ll be recording a view of his hands for this video he at least trims his nails off, shaping the squared out edges with a nail file, wincing at the sandpaper-y feel so close to his skin.

He finally does get that done though, washing the dust from his fingers and returning to find a way to set up his tablet for the angle he wants to have for this concept. It’s going to be a draw/sketch with me, hopefully turned paint with me when it comes to the watercolors he got recently. He hasn’t gotten to use them yet.

He gets his phone tilted to the paper, the camera not good enough to pick up on the subtle bumps and grooves in the paper, made for peak paint performance. He starts the camera and picks up his charcoal pencil, the one he picked up at the hobby lobby the other day when he went with Beverly so she could get some thread to embroider a design on her new denim skirt for school. He aunt had brought it for her from Portland when she came down for a week in summer, Bev just hasn’t gotten to customize it quite yet.

He starts the video with a shot of him sharpening the pencil with a small handheld pencil sharpener. “Whatup! It’s m-me bdenbrough back w-with your Saturday entertainment. Today I-I’m taking it a little slower than usual, calming a l-little. We’re d-doing a draw with me, I’m gonna b-be trying to keep a cool color sch-scheme here, and we’re just gonna have a l-little chat,” he says, smiling wistfully even though his face isn’t on camera and they wouldn’t be able to hear it.

He starts drawing out a general shape, small ovals to start out some sort of human, “I th-think I might draw a m-mermaid, get some mythical cr-creatures up in my sketch collection,” he decides out loud, drawing out a few ovals to create a torso shape and then a longer one and triangle for the fins on the bottom of the tail.

Then he starts making lines around the shape, creating smoother curves around everything until it looks almost more like it could be closer to human, sans the tail of course. The last thing he leaves in the sketch is the face. “So d-don’t mind m-my inability to make faces,” he says with a small chuckle.

He draws one eye closer and larger than the other, making sure the perspective of the facial expression matches how he made the angles of the body work. Drawing lips is always fun for him, they never look the same as the last pair of lips. He makes it more symbolic than it is. “All m-my characters lips look different. They all h-have unique things to say, and the words fall fr-from unique mouths.”

He continues adding more life to the eyes, erasing a little shine in the pupils from the side where the lighting is going to come from. He’s been working more on his shading, he’s pretty proud of how far he’s gotten in his art journey. He definitely needs to work more on anatomy, but at least he can blame bad anatomy on his art style.

“I don’t h-have a name for this ch-character yet, but maybe you g-guys can suggest some! D-down in the comments let me know what her name and story sh-should be!” He announces, he just desperately wants for his subscribers to interact more, they’ve been slowing rising and it almost worries him, becoming known would be great to him, but he also doesn’t want this to become more of an actual job to him than it already is.

He pulls out his thin tipped sharpie to line it, trying to be up like one of the big art youtubers with their fancy lineart and good coloring skills. He lines it the best he can, though his hands are often shaky and it makes for difficult art. He plans to fill the empty space with some soft music when he isn’t talking. Just to make sure it’s not too boring.

He doesn’t start talking until he uncaps his blue marker to color in her details. “So I-I’m gonna be coloring this dr-drawing in with mostly cool t-toned colors,” he explains. He gets started on coloring in the darker tones, a colorless blender can be used to remove anything that gets too intense.

He drags the tip around in thick, long, and even strokes, covering her tail evenly with the deep blue, to contrast how bright blue he’ll color in the ocean. He fills her hair in with some strokes of violet among some lilac.

The completed drawing comes out nice, not the best he could do, but he did have the pressure of filming as he did it. “Okay so sh-she seems to be completed,” he says, tilting the camera up to show his smile, “So th-that concludes our Saturday video. I-it was kinda short and quiet b-but I had fun filming it!” he finally presses the camera off, letting out a sigh of relief.

[emmalabaise]

Kinktober 5 - Bodyswap

AN - cut for length

The alarm crashed through his dream, but the images faded instantly as he woke. All he was left with was an odd feeling of not being right.

He rolled over to get up... what the hell was this squishy stuff between his arms!

Sitting bolt upright the sheet slid down... his heart stopped as he saw two, rather generous looking breasts stuck to his chest. Immediately he grasped them with his hands... OUCH... FUCK they were actually attached... how the hell did that happen???

Another thought entered his mind.... he slid his hand tentatively under the sheet covering his lower half.

Hairline... okay... still hair, oh shit... where the fuck is my dick??? OMG IS THAT WHAT I THINK IT IS???

He stood up suddenly... everything felt a bit off... the breasts made his center of balance weird... walking he cringed... there was no usual slap of his nuts between his legs. Christ what was this???

He ran the few steps to the bathroom... BLOODY HELL that was sore, how the fuck do women run with these things stuck to their front? He wouldn’t be doing that again in a hurry.

He stared speechless in the mirror.

Looking back at him was hazel eyes ... it was so strange not to see his own refection. The head was surrounded by a mop of mid brown.

“I must be dreaming.” he thought. Turning on the cold tap he splashed his face with water. The skin on his chin was far too smooth, not even a hint of stubble. The female face still glanced back at him. 

“OOOWW!!” ... pinching his own arm hadn’t helped either. And now he felt a slightly familiar tingle. He needed a piss. He walked to the loo and stood facing it.

“Ah, that’s not going to work.” He turned to sit down. “How do women’s waterworks work?” ... he cleared his mind... “Oh, just the same.”

Now ... he’d need to wipe wouldn’t he? Nothing there for him to shake. He wiggled his hips a bit, which resulted in nothing but the hinges of the seat cracking. Pulling a length off the paper he scrunched it up. Dabbing should do it surely. Standing up he bent forward to see what he was doing... and the bloody boobs were in the way. Seriously how do women cope with these things? Squishing them to one side so he could see better he dabbed rapidly. 

As he dropped the paper down the toilet he realised he needed to have a better look. Sure he’d seen these things from a between-the-thighs perspective, but you know, when in Rome as they say.

The huge mirror on the bedroom wall would be perfect. It weighed a lot more than he remembered. Ah, girly arms didn’t have the same biceps. He carefully walked the mirror to the foot of the bed, leaning it portrait against a chair.

It would be too short a distance for a full length standing look, but he wanted close up first.

Sitting on the edge of the bed he looked at his reflection.

Yup a naked woman with, what looked like, all the proper womany bits was looking back at him. She was a bit plainer and older than he’d go for. She must be 30 something he determined, much older than his early 20′s prime. Decent sized tits, though. He cupped them with his hands, brushing a finger over the nipple.

Oh, that sent a tingle south. More so than it did on him... well him normally. Shit? what if this is normal now???

Right, bite the bullet time. He inched forward so his hips were just on the edge of the bed and looking in the mirror he leaned back slightly and spread his legs. Holy shit everything looked “right”. Not right for him, obviously, but right for a girl.

He moved his hand down slowly, eyes glued to the mirror. Spreading his fingers he opened up the folds. Sitting up to look closer he realised he needed the mirror nearer. Re-positioning it his nipples brushed against the cold glass, shooting more tingles towards his nether regions. Fuck me, he thought, I thought women had this stuff in control and it was just us men that are horny bastards. If everything they do tingles like this then they must have godlike self control.

He sat on the carpet, leaning against the base of the bed with his legs splayed either side of the mirror. A much clearer view of what was there now.

Now to get back to where he was, he slid his fingers down with more confidence this time. Both hands free to investigate he opened the folds with one and nervously felt around with the other. 

Hello there little funhole, let’s see what this feels like. He circled the outside with his predominant right hand, not as wet as he’d experienced feeling before, but what the hell. He held his first and second finger together and pushed.

“OW, what the fuck? That wasn’t so good, why were things not all soppy down there. They always were when he got his hands in women’s pants.

Lubrication maybe? He brought his fingers up to his mouth and decided one at a time might be a better idea as well. He spat on his fingers and rubbed it over the middle one.

Let’s try this again. His finger entered himself ... that was such a weird thought... much easier this time, but still it didn’t feel as good as the loud moaning reactions he always got from doing this. Even on porn movies the women screamed with pleasure at this. What was he doing wrong? This should feel good right?

Admittedly things down there did feel a little damper. Maybe he should try that little supposedly magic button that women harp on about.

Wriggling his fingers around he found the talked about clitoris bit. 

He dragged his dampened finger over it lightly... well that felt okay... he continued rubbing over it, his stokes getting marginally firmer as he played. A familiar feeling coil started to build up in his belly... okay, so this must be right then. He sensed a warmer trickle from the hole below. Now THAT seemed more normal. He moved his fingers from the bud of nerves and slid his fingers inside... almost instantly the tensed coil stated to fade away.

What the fuck, NO, that was feeling really good, why did it stop?

He moved his fingers back to the really good place and started rubbing again, this time harder and the coil returned

Fuck this was wonderful... not mindblowing but great... he slid his hips forward, continuing his rapid circling he shoved two fingers of his left hand inside.

He was suddenly hit with the most blinding rush of... fuck knows what but it was fucking amazing and he didn’t want to stop... his whole body felt electrified and he couldn’t manage to keep the steady pace of his fingers moving. The waves started to ease, and the blood thundering in his ears started to abate.

He lay there stunned for several minutes.

That was what he thought it was...wasn’t it?

Fuck women have a far better rush that he had ever managed from stroking his dick. 

He needed to experiment more. The clock read 10:46am. He had all day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The alarm broke through his sleep again. He woke with a grin and shoved his hand down to find... A DICK!!!

OH THANK GOD his mini-me was back. He was whole again.

A pang of disappointment hit him. Yesterday had been a day of constant frigging himself and it had been a lot of fucking fun. He’d gone to bed with his lower bits throbbing. He’d probably chaffed everything from playing too much, but he’d been so addicted to the wonderful feelings it had resulted in.

He’d learned a lot about female anatomy in just one day though, He stood up, Christ his arse was sore... was that the payoff? Okay, maybe he shouldn’t have tried the cucumber. That had been a lot sorer than he’d expected until he’d lubed it up more. Which reminded him... he’d need to fling out that jar of mayo cos... eewww.

Oh well... better deal with the morning wood then.

~~~~~~~~~

On the other side of the planet her alarm went off, wakening her for her night shift. She was relieved to find her usual boobs nestled between her arms, even if her lower half felt a bit abused. Must be an effect from last nights antics.

Her boss at the club would likely be fanging at her for not calling in last night, but she had had no idea how to explain what had happened, Really how can you call up and say you are not coming into work with a voice several octaves lower.

Finding male clothes hadn’t been hard, she had a few interesting items tucked away in her closet for potential partner play. And so she had gone to her workplace last night as a customer with her new outer form, using one of her guest invite cards to get in. The clock at the cloakroom read 10.46pm. 

The club clientele she seeked were there. She felt her lower addition twitch at the thought. For as long as she could remember the one thing she had wished for every birthday cake was to be a man for a day to feel what it was like. As the years went on she’d got more specific, just for one day, attractive, nicely toned. 

Tonight she had every intention of finding out how fucking felt for a guy in every... single... way. She knew the reputation and likes of the man she now strode up to. Her outer appearance was perfect for him, and he liked to Switch rather than just play purely Dom or Sub.

He also had the most fabulously big cock that she knew would feel heavenly splitting her arse open and hitting her prostate.

[greysanatomyreaderinsertimagines]

Mark Sloan Imagine

Mark Sloan Imagine 1828 Words Suggestions: Reader has a miscarriage, and the baby is Mark’s. Song Shot! Song: Irrelevant by Lauren Aquilina Requested By: Several Anonymous Disclaimer: I do NOT own Grey’s Anatomy, nor Irrelevant, nor You.

Let's start at the end Becoming strangers once again Or maybe that's all we ever were Do you know how it feels To crave a body made of steel To give your all for no return

You tried. You tried not to think about it, but it seemed to kill you on the inside. You never wanted kids, it wasn’t even your intention. You grew up wanting to be successful in your life since your parents were nothing more than terrible to you. You thought about it a countless number of times. Should I even have kids? Honestly, when you saw the stick show positive, your thoughts ran over on how your life would end up. Happy? Sad? Good? Bad? Well, Who cares, You thought. You did care, after a week, you started to care. You took better care of yourself. You even let the father know, and to your surprise, he was more excited than you were at first.

'Cause I've been running marathons While you're still standing still And I'd be anything for you But I'll never fit the bill

The moment blood ran down your legs in the middle of surgery, you could tell something was wrong. You collapsed. You became quiet, only to cave in when people asked how you felt. You muttered incoherent words, which made people assume you didn’t want to be bothered. You weren’t that perfect woman that everyone set you out to be. Successful, respected, honest, caring, you had a great relationship, people told you that you had all the essentials to having a great life. The only thing missing was kids. You couldn’t fit the bill. You were thinking you’d be on your own after all of this. This… surprise… of a miscarriage left you in a hospital bed to be looked over. People wondered about your well-being, were you healthy? Were you psychologically ready to move forward with your life? Maybe, maybe not. Who cares?

Mark was in surgery when you were pulled into the Operating Room. Something happened, he just didn’t know. After he got out of his surgery, he found out you were in a hospital room. When he asked what happened, people gave him the same answer. Most people knew you were pregnant.

“She had a miscarriage during surgery. She collapsed.”

He raced to find you. When he did, you stared out the window with sadness on your face. They called your parents, the hospital did, they were on their way. You didn’t want to face them, you haven’t spoken to them in a long time.

“Mark.”

Derek walked up to him as he turned his head.

“Yeah,” Mark breathed, looking back at you.

“I heard… How is she taking it?”

'Cause I'm irrelevant You'll be fine without me And it's evident, it shows And in your excellence I forgot I used to have my own You won't even notice that I'm gone

“I just heard too.”

A nurse walked in and addressed a few things with you. You stared at her, giving her what you gave everyone. She did nothing to you. This was all on you, and all you could do is listen. When the nurse walked out, Mark stepped in, and you returned to looking out the window.

“I heard,” He said.

You shrugged.

“We need to talk.”

You shook your head.

“(Y/n)-.”

“I can’t. I want to, but I can’t. If I had to, I’d spill my guts to you like always, but I’m not as big as that right now. I’m hormonal. I’m deadly. I’m listening and not speaking. When my parents walk in, don’t say anything. Let me do the talking.”

“Why?”

“I want you to hold my hand. I don’t want you to do anything else, just hold my hand.”

“When are they coming?”

“They were in France, they should be here tomorrow.”

You looked at him.

You consume my thoughts I'm not sure that I'm in yours at all Your mind is too far gone to see The worst part of it all Is that I desperately still want Someone who never wanted me

“We can try again. We can have kids. This isn’t the end of the world.”

“I didn’t want kids. Did you know that? I didn’t want kids because I didn’t want to end up like that mother who cares about their job and their life more than their kid. Then I found out I was pregnant, and that shifted my entire perspective. Kids. Those bundles of mess that would consume all the life out of you. I wanted a mess. I wanted a lot of messes. I would take that mess and make it into the best… Now… it’s just…”

You sighed, rubbing your face.

“I don’t wanna talk about it.”

Mark nodded.

'Cause you've been burning bridges while I've been building homes And I'm only your everything When you feel alone 'Cause I'm irrelevant You'll be fine without me And it's evident, it shows And in your excellence I forgot I used to have my own You won't even notice that I'm gone

Mark knew it would take some time to rebuild what was between the both of you. You were disappointed, he was forgiving. You felt like you burned the bridge in between the both of you. You didn’t.

Your parents arrived the next day, and arrived at the hospital in a small rush. You were reading a magazine, finishing up on the books people brought to you. You had to teach your residents somehow, and told them what to do. They need to brush up on techniques and learn from others. Your famous words as others said it was. Your father walked in first, and stood by your bedside.

“Well, how’s my favorite daughter in the world,” Your father gave you his signature smile that he always gave you when he couldn’t make it to your performances.

“You know how she is (Father Name),” Your mother sneered, rolling her eyes.

You sighed.

“I want to ask her. I didn’t need your words (Mother Name).”

“What was so important that we had to come here halfway across the globe? We were in the middle of an important conference.”

Your mother gave you her signature rude voice, like always. Again, they both never made time for you. You opened your mouth only for another voice to intervene.

“She had a miscarriage.”

You all look to see Mark. You gave him a look. He went to the other side of your bed, holding your hand.

“Who are you?”

“Her husband.”

“Husband?”

Your parents looked at you.

Are the days that I'll cling to you Throw me to the lions and start anew And who the hell are you For the hell you've put me through

You knew Mark made the wrong move to say that, but it was also the right move.

“Yes, my husband,” You nodded.

You both were boyfriend and girlfriend, you both talked about marriage, but you never REALLY brought it up.

“When did you get married,” Your father asked.

“A few years ago. We now thought about kids, and then… this happened.”

Oh, you could lie so smoothly. Mark gripped your hand tightly.

“Yes, this happened. We didn’t think you were coming,” Mark nodded, looking down at you.

“Yeah, I didn’t know I was coming either,” Your mother checked her phone.

“I knew, because I cared. For the first time, our daughter has done something that isn’t to your liking and you don’t seem to be bothered. I’m bothered, because I missed most of her life because of your… stupidity!”

Your parents fighting wasn’t the issue. You’ve seen enough of these to know how this was going to come down. Mark pulled up a chair and looked at you.

“How are you,” He whispered.

“…I’m not okay,” You whispered, shaking your head.

“That’s why I’m here, to make you okay.”

Your parents’ conversation stirred back into your ears. You both looked.

“And? You didn’t stop me! You didn’t care either.”

“I did, which is why I sent her money she needed. You never knew about that huh?”

“That, was you?!”

Your father was a large part of a large company. Your mother only got involved after they married. She wasn’t a part of it in any way.

“Yes, it was. And I don’t regret it one bit. I haven’t told (Y/n) because she’s been surviving as a doctor, who gets a lot of money now-a-days.”

You opened your mouth, a bit shocked at your father’s words. Mark closed your mouth and continued to watch.

“This is getting entertaining,” He whispered.

You hit his arm.

“I’m pregnant.”

“I want a divorce.”

You both snapped your heads over to them. Your mother’s mouth hanged open.

“You heard me. I. Want. A. Divorce,” Your father growled.

“Wait a second-.”

“No. Even if you were pregnant, which is a lie, the baby wouldn’t be mine because we stopped having sex as soon as (Y/n) hit high school. You’ve been cheating on me, the guy told me, I just let him do it because I didn’t care about you anymore.”

“I’d get half to company even if-.”

“You wouldn’t. I don’t own the company, my father does, which, by the way, he isn’t dead, nor is my mother. I lied so you would comply when all the money you earned gets transferred into a bank account that has (Y/n)’s name on it.”

“You-.”

“No need for insults darling, the baby’s in the room.”

Your father wasn’t one for being more angry than nice. This showed you something.

“(Y/n), how much is your hospital bill,” Your father asked you.

“Don’t talk to her-.”

“How much?”

“I- Uh,” You were stumbled.

He wrote out a check and handed it to Mark.

“This is for her bills. I’ll take care of her when she’s discharged, while her mother leaves back to France and tells everyone we’re getting divorced, like my parents wanted.”

Your mother stomped out.

But I'm irrelevant You'll be fine without me And it's evident, it shows And in your excellence I forgot I used to have my own You won't even notice that I'm... ... gone

Your father looked at the both of you.

“I’m sorry. She’s a little bit… dramatic sometimes,” He apologized.

“Honestly, sounds like me and (Y/n) when I forget to buy take-out,” Mark chuckled, looking at the check.

“It’s nice that you found someone. He sounds like a keeper. Maybe we’ll talk. I have to head to the hotel now. Would you like anything sweetheart?”

You shook your head and he walked out. You looked at Mark.

“I’m sorry-,” You started.

“Hmm? Why are you apologizing?”

“I-.”

“Yeah, you. You don’t need to. Just marry me, simple as that.”

“Why-?”

“Why marry you? A lot of reasons, but you heard your dad. He wants to talk. Can’t disappoint the In-Laws, am I right?”

You smiled and hugged Mark.

“Thank you.”

[team-adults-blog]

4.07 Gimme Shelter

They didn’t even get the rights to play the Stone’s song. 

Let’s talk about chicken nuggets, Grey’s Anatomy, and Ethics.

HERE WE GOOOOO THAT BLACK RAIN IS REAL

Damn everyone just stripped. Hero boys out to save that kid Harper left for dead.

FUUUUCKKKKKKKKKK. I literally had to pause the show and take a moment to calm down. Everyone’s half nakey. I can handle this. It’s just that it’s EVERYONE. ALL AT ONCE. 

“Why don’t you make a fire, you’re good at that” OOOHHHH Octaviaaaaa burn him. Puns.

Big bro Jackson showing Clarke around like a cool bro should. Abby’s smile is radiating (hah) sunshine and can provide all the solar energy that rocket needs. Jackson is so happy for her. Sachin is the best because he only gets these little moments and kills every single one. 

AWWW she needed to see her mom and get a hug. This is so nice. They used to be pretty mad at each other over dumb misunderstandings and now look at them. I’ve missed you so much. It’s important to remember Clarke is what, like 16-17? Listen. She may have been forced to grow up but you’re allowed to turn into a kid again when you go home. I made my mom buy me chicken nuggets over break and I’m older than Clarke so get wrecked. Here I am, going to brewerys with friends and coming home for the nuggets. But I’m like. An adult. So I make them in the oven and not the microwave. Plus you don’t have to count how many nuggets per 11 minutes. You can have as many as you want. This is important to me because I have no self-control. I also talked my friend into buying the dino chicken nuggets so I’ve basically been living off of beer, nuggets, and smoothies. I’m the picture of health.

Raven’s sedated? AKA you couldn’t get her to take it easy. When was the last time you slept? Um. Try the last episode? Murphy wasn’t only asking do I need to go get the doc, but also do I need to go wake the doc. “I’ll sleep soon enough, one way or another” to quote my cutie patootie B, “dark” aaannnndddd Jackson told on you to Clarke anyways because he knew you’d try this crap. 

Bone marrow? Literally Mt. Weather. Ethicssss. Clarke, why are you not alarmed? DOCTOR LORELEI TSING WAS DOING SOMETHING VERY SIMILAR TO YOU MOTHER (who should also remember this) AND NEITHER OF YOU ARE TALKING ETHICS EXPLICITLY TO EACH OTHER? It’s different because Luna is “ok” with giving you her bone marrow, but creating a human test subject against their will? Whoaaa, Nelly. Glad we’re not rushing into this yet. And Emori is going to misinterpret things. Abs is going to make it voluntary like the culling, right? You don’t need to freak out.

Clarke gets laid, 2 hugs, a SHOWER, and a NAP. All in 2 episodes. She is living the dream. That nap is what she needed to be calm and collected later.

Jump scare! Oh shit someone’s here. I hate this. It’s scary. I fucking screamed so loud. I’m hella tired and saw it coming and still. Apparently I use real swear words and more of them when I’m tired.

Yeah, Murphy! Kill ‘em with a cutting board! My weapon of choice in that kitchen. It’s sturdy and will knock a dude out. 2nd choice in that kitchen is a frying pan because it has a handle. #tangled You’d think knives right? You have to be able to get close to use a knife, and that grounder could kick my ass. My strategy: hit him with something sturdy and solid- not heavy because then he’ll see it coming- and then if he’s not k.o.’d  get him in a headlock. we’re not about stab wounds. we’re about concussions. #5andcounting

Guys Forever is coming back! What a good ad too. “It’s a long story.” I screamed. CW cancels a show for low viewership even though it has an interesting plot, only to bring it back 2 years later. “It’s a long story” covers both the behind the scenes process of bringing it back and how he came back to life this time. The water coming out of the body locker? Fantastic. I knew instantly. But I didn’t believe it until I saw his face. I am excited. Amanda in France is excited.

Bellamy distracted driving in the rain and gets stuck in the mud. Kane has zero ability to help. Awful. All he can do is say sit tight, babe. You’re self-sacrificial, but come one. This sucks so much.

Octavia and Ilian stuck in an elevator I mean cave (thanks B for identifying the actual name of the trope because I was just calling it cave but you’re smarter than me). What a classic way to make two people talk or hook up. Have y’all seen Greys Anatomy? People would just halt the elevator to have an important conversation and/or sex. I should have maybe realized this is what it’s called earlier...They’re not using it as much currently (S13 baby), but it got so bad in the early years it became a bit of a running joke that gets carried onto the spin-off, Private Practice:

This screen grab (from the google.com) may actually be from Grey’s while they were still trying to sell the spin-off. Like when Psych had that The Finder episode? I don’t remember, it’s been years. Anyways, on The 100 they’ve used the trope a little more tactfully: S1 Finn/Clarke hook up and acid fog, S2 Kabby talk about deserving/not deserving salvation in Ton DC. Uh there are most def more but I give up.

The trope for the cave scene felt very in your face, glaringly obvious. Ilian tells Octavia his sad story, then he says it’s her turn. O’s gonna pass. Feeling numb hard. But everytime I find myself saying “fuck it, I’m tired of being this way” a little voice (my conscious, not the scary ones) tells me that the “I’d rather feel pain than nothing at all” mindset is actually incredibly unhealthy and dangerous. The show could have played the entire song “Pain” by Three Day’s Grace and it would have been spot on for what’s happening in this scene (except for who’s actually initiating the sex). “Just make me feel something else,” that’s using someone. That’s how you get in trouble with people because you’re not taking their emotions into consideration. So maybe Ilian does want this, but it’s clearly not the way he would want it. He pushes Octavia away more than once before he gives in. It’s so clear from an outside perspective that it’s wrong, and yet it makes sense emotionally. To me at least. I have a lot of repressed memories that are surfacing and I would like to shove them back down where they belong so we’re just going to leave this and go somewhere less personal.

“It’s good to hear your voice.” Damn right I would rather talk about Kabby. SOOOOO sorry to be the bearer of bad news but we’re running out of water Abs. We’re getting pretty desperate. I trust you 100% to make the right choice on your medical ethics question. This whole conversation is great because Paige and Ian are acting alone in radio scenes; they’re not feeding off each other. Being able to bring up that emotion by yourself is commendable (for Bob too) and they’re all so lovely. Back to the plot- Kane has made poor decisions before, most notably the culling, and Abby has pretty much always been on the right side of the moral issue, trusting the people to volunteer. Abby will do the right thing, she always does is Kane’s angle from being wrong as well as building this trusting and loving little thing. Speaking of which, Clarke you didn’t send his love? Sure they radioed later but. This isn’t a “tell them I say hi!” from my mom whenever I go to my brother’s house. This is important! (sorry mom) Now, the questions:

Take a life to save everyone? Is it murder? Even if we don’t call it murder, could I live with myself if I did this? Whenever philosophical questions come up, I want more details before I commit to a side. Specific circumstances will drive the answers. Unfortunately, they’re operating under a lie Emori is telling everyone, a lie that says, he’s a bad guy. A really bad guy. Even if we’re not 100% ok that this is a forcible injection of nightblood and then we’ll see if he dies or can run out into the world, it’s not like we’re doing this to a sweet child. Clarke reassures Abby that it’s a good decision, but Abby was about to do it anyway, so are they framing it as Clarke holding more responsibility? Or did they just want to give her some? Everyone there shares the responsibility- I won’t call it blame just yet because they don’t know- but doing this gives Clarke a bigger piece? Will finding out the circumstances they think are driving the situation are lies change how they feel about their decision?  Of course! Will Abby feel incredibly guilty? Of course! Does it matter to anything other than your conscious that he’s not the bad person Emori lead you to believe he was? You still made the decision to do this against his will. What a #fun plot to explore, especially with Murphy knowing it’s a lie as well. It’s not if the others find out, but when.

The Blakes and dad!Kane are ripping my heart apart. Kane’s just trying to keep Bellamy safe and reassure him. He missteps. Big. “your mother would be proud of the man you’ve become. I know I am.” He reads that Bellamy need to know he’s doing a good job despite things being out of his control. If he had said “I’m proud of you” he would have been fine. But. Ya didn’t. “You floated my mother.” Damn. He sure did. For having Octavia, the other kid you’re highkey trying to parent. Nothing like a good reminder that all of the delinquents have good reasons to hate/ fear Kane because he put them all there. Jaha gave the order to drop them on the Earth, but S1 Kane arrested them and floated a lot of their families (which makes the dad!Kane bits a little sad). It’s a nice slap in the face to wake up and remember ALL of the character development he’s gone through since the pilot. He’s incredible now, but he still has a lot of baggage he hasn’t had to really deal with aside from Octavia and Abby. He and Clarke never even talked about it back S2 when they started teaming up bit by bit.

He blunders the Harper situation because he’s too worried about Bellamy, Peter and Mark/Matthew (I’ve already forgotten which) and Abby. “Who you want to be doesn’t always win.” Ok. True. But that’s a shitty thing to say to Harper who’s already feeling like shit and has told you she’s wrecked with guilt. You dropped the ball there. ESPECIALLY when you’re trying to comfort Octavia after she ALMOST murders Ilian TWO HOURS AGO. ??????. Harper not off killing people, she just freaked out in a crowd/mob/crazed herd environment and this guy grabbed her. She shook him off and instead of fighting to help him, she lets herself be pushed along by the crowd. She’s not a terrible person, her guilt is evident of that.

Bellamy gets back- how did he dig that rover out of the mud all by himself? Kane tries to apologize, Bellamy flips his line from earlier back in his face. “You can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved.” I can’t save Octavia. You can’t save me. Savage. Gut punch. Which must be even worse when you think about how those arms pushed a 2,000 lb rover out of the mud. Boy packs a punch. Poor Kane. He deserved it after bringing up Aurora Blake, that doesn’t make it hurt less.

Octavia throws her weapons away and is taking Ilian home. She doesn’t want to fight anymore. I’m glad, but I’m not sure how sleeping with Ilian brought her to this conclusion. If I missed a line help me out.

My exact thought process on the last scene: OH MY GOD IT ISN’T HIM. EMORI. MURPHY WHY DO YOU GO FROM ALARM TO SMIRKING AND THINKING “THAT’S MY GIRL.” THIS IS NOT HOT.

Shirtless everyone and cool questions give this episode a 9/10. I’m fine with being unclear as to where Octavia is going, I’m not cool with not understanding the morning after and how that decision was made because its 1) really important and 2)the show acknowledges it’s important enough to show is (unlike Abby’s rings). -1 for that.

[lbcybersecurity]

What is your product and what does it do?

Lessons I learned trying to make the most of vendor briefings

I’ve always been a sort of ‘cut-to-the-chase’ kind of guy. I’m self-taught when it comes to security and technology. Over the years, I’ve learned how to skim through a book, article or website to extract the important information. Sometimes I’m just trying to figure out how to do something, or I’m looking for an answer to a specific question.

Just tell me what time it is, I don’t need to know how atomic time clock frequency standards work.

Conversely, I also have an appreciation for context and a good story — as long as you eventually get to the point.

Anatomy of a Vendor Briefing

Here’s how the average vendor briefing usually goes.

The WebEx Tax (5min)

Waiting for everyone to join, restarting WebEx or some other screen-sharing app because it’s misbehaving. Chit-chat about weather and where everyone is physically based, or happens to be at the moment. I quickly communicate that attempts to talk sports are wasted on me — I just don’t follow them anymore.

Introductions (5min)

These are important — I want to understand who I’m talking to. I want to know whether or not I can ask technical questions. I want to understand the backgrounds of who is on the phone.

About the company (5min)

How is the company doing? How did it start? Where is it located? How many employees? Is it growing? What about that lawsuit? Who are its customers? What company size/verticals are being targeted?

The Problem Statement (10min+)

This is where about half of vendors start to lose me. Typically, I’m talking to a vendor in a space that I cover closely and have covered for years. I’ve probably written about this space, given talks about it and discussed it at length… well, you get the idea. This is also where platitudes and hyperbole start to roll out. Silver bullets and ‘one weird trick’ to fix security! Most of these meetings are occurring over the phone without video, so the vendor may not hear the sound of my eyeballs violently rolling back.

On the other hand, I do want to hear the problem statement from the vendor, provided it is concise. The problem statement helps me understand how the vendor sees their market and their place in that market. Sure, I understand it, but I want to see it through the vendor’s eyes. In some cases, the problem statement reveals an outdated or artificial view (in my opinion), but in others, it offers insights or perspectives I hadn’t considered before.

Recommendations:

Ask the analyst a few questions to gauge their familiarity with the state of security in this particular market segment.

Be concise — briefing an analyst isn’t the same as talking to a sales lead.

The Product (10min+)

This is the most important section, especially in security, where the variety of products and technologies combined with the prevalence of buzzwords can result in some very confusing messaging.

WHAT’S IN THE BOX?!

Recommendations:

Please start this with an architecture slide. Too often, I find myself wondering throughout this portion what the product actually is. I’m hearing about features and functionality, but I don’t know if it’s SaaS, a hardware appliance I rack in my datacenter, a VM I download and deploy, a managed service… This is important context to have for the rest of the conversation!

Lay out all your products and services, even if you’re only focusing on one in this call — this also helps to give important context.

Mention partners and integrations — few security products these days can survive long without integrating into the customer’s existing environment. I want to understand where you overlap, where you replace and where you complement.

Roadmap, competition, future of the market (remainder)

Most of security is a missing feature market, so chances are good that your product may not be long for this world. How are you going to handle that? Especially for startups — if you’re counting on an acquisition exit, how do you ensure you’ll have a seat when the music stops?

The next meeting

If this one went well, I might be interested to see a demo or speak with a customer. Sometimes I want to see a demo because I’m excited or skeptical. Demos are typically easier to keep to 30 minutes because the meeting will be focused just on a screenshare and walk-through of the product.

Other Recommendations

Briefing Length

I find I really need an hour for a briefing. 30 minutes usually ends up feeling rushed.

Analysts are not Sales Leads

When talking to an analyst, your goal isn’t to convince them to buy your product. Instead, you want them to understand your company, products and goals. Make the analyst understand why different customers would want to buy the product and the different approaches that get the customer to sign a PO.

Ideally, you want to make a fan out of an analyst. An analyst that casually or actively mentions your company or product is a huge win. Everyone wants word-of-mouth marketing, but analysts tend to have ‘bigger mouths’ and more influence. Help the analyst understand:

What you do

Why you do it

Your target market

Market differentiation

Use cases

Roadmap and long-term goals

Have a purpose

You sell encryption? That’s great, but how’s it different from the other encryption? Why would I go with yours over another? Do you compete entirely on price and features, or do you have a deeper story and purpose that draw customers in and make them want to be loyal to you?

Buzzwords

Don’t use them unless it’s efficient to do so. For example, if your product is EDR, just say you play in the EDR space. If it’s EDR plus some innovation, don’t avoid the EDR term because you don’t want to be ‘pigeonholed’ with your competitors. It just ends up being confusing.

I remember the first time I talked to FireEye. And the second. And the third. Each time, the sales person described the product (the NX appliance was the only product at this time), and it came off sounding like an IDS/IPS. They ensured me that it wasn’t an IDS/IPS and proceeded to use the same words to describe it again. It wasn’t until I got an engineer on the phone for that fourth call that I was finally able to understand what the product did.

Call a spade a spade — not a next-gen superior triangular manual digging tool. You can even call it an awesome spade if you think it’s awesome, just use words a normal person would understand.

Clarify B2B relationships

DON’T use the terms integrate, partner and alliance interchangeably. They have different meanings.

Integration: “We did some work, they didn’t have to do anything. In fact, we didn’t even really talk to them — we’re just ingesting their API/feed.”

Partnership: “We got together, talked about it, and each of us built pieces that work together in some way.”

Alliance: “We got together and built something entirely new”

Additional DOs and DON’Ts

Do

Go over the agenda for the call and set expectations right at the start. If I’m expecting a demo and there’s no one on the call that can give a demo, I’m going to be disappointed.

Use specific examples or anonymous customer examples

Walk through demos

Give me access to the product, if this can be done easily

Give your pitch to an engineer/product manager to ensure you’re explaining it correctly — nothing’s worse than being contradicted by an engineer during a briefing. We’re going to second guess everything else you’ve said.

Suppress toaster popups during a screenshare. Or don’t. Sometimes the content of your IMs and Emails is VERY revealing. More revealing than your General Council would be comfortable with.

Share your presentations beforehand. I can ask better questions if I know what we’re going to cover. Also, because WebEx WILL fail you.

Learn how to use the screenshare app and/or Powerpoint before the call. I’m frequently amazed at how many people don’t know how to get Powerpoint full-screen.

Go over product naming/branding — I’m also amazed at the number of vendors that never even tell you what product they’re talking about and don’t reference it in the slides.

Tell me how it is priced, sold and licensed.

Tell me cool customer stories

Don’t

Rely on an engineer to explain things — if the marketing/sales guy can’t explain it or doesn’t understand it, you’re not ready to brief an analyst.

BAD: “I’ll have to check with one of our engineers on that”

WORSE: The engineer is on the call and confuses the situation more.

Badmouth competitors — there’s just no excuse for that. If you think you do something better or have an advantage, fine — tell me that. But don’t start telling me how much more effective your product is unless you’ve got some data from a study that I can review. And no, a Ponemon PDF is not “data from a study”.

Make fun of other products — I’ve found this usually backfires. In almost every case I’ve seen a vendor do this, the flaw they’re pointing out exists in their own product as well.

Example: a security awareness vendor was campaigning a piece on “AV’s Dirty Little Secret”, which turned out to be that AV wasn’t 100% effective. No shit! What’s the effectiveness of security awareness tools again?

Make me fill out a form on your website to get basic details about your products. Often, to fill gaps in the briefing, I’ll go to the website to fill in the details. Maybe I forgot to ask what platforms the product is compatible with, or when the company was founded. Please don’t make it hard to find this information. If you put me in a position where I have to endure sales calls in exchange for basic information, I will hate you.

Expect me to be impressed about your lightweight agent, CISO dashboard or the founder’s time in Unit 8200.

Suggestions for the Analyst

Explain how your firm works — if briefings rarely result in coverage, let them know ASAP, because that’s typically not the norm (or so I’ve been told). What interactions are paid vs free? How are meetings scheduled?

Manage expectations before the call — what are you looking to get out of it? That will impact who the vendor needs to schedule for the call, what materials need to be prepped or how long the call needs to be.

Stop the presenter if they’re going into stuff that isn’t a good use of your time. Redirect the conversation down a more productive path.

Stop the presenter if you don’t understand something. Don’t just nod and let them continue. Don’t be afraid of feeling dumb. When I started as an analyst, I had never heard “north-south” or “east-west” used to refer to network traffic flow before. Just a few months ago, I found the definition for “east-west” was contentious when I thought it was more straight-forward.

What is your product and what does it do? was originally published in Savage Security Blog on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

The post What is your product and what does it do? appeared first on Security Boulevard.

from What is your product and what does it do?

[thecreativeblossom]

How I Found My Style In Art?

       Hi, I am Jean and I am an illustrator. I have around 10 years of experience and I am one of those people who would never be able to imagine themselves doing anything else, but art.

      I am a very visual person and I like to experiment in art. To me art is like a place where “I can make mistakes” in order to create something that I really like.

      One of the things that I am grateful for today is that after a lot of years of incredible struggle I finally feel comfortable with my work, it feels natural to draw and I feel it’s my style. Don’t get me wrong I am not bragging, but this is something very important in this business, to enjoy what you are doing. Still, I don’t think my style is complete and “finished”, I believe one’s style is always changing, evolving. Just like people change, their style changes too. Their art changes too.

      I will never forget how obsessed I was a few years ago, and how I desperately wanted only one thing: to find my own style. It was all that I could think about and could not rest, because I wanted it to happen. Soon, very soon.

      I was longing to find my identity in art, I wanted to define my style and my style to define me.

      I was always interested in art, I remember in middle school I was accepting my classmates’ requests to draw them whatever we had to draw during class. It felt relaxing to draw, it helped me to quiet my thoughts.

      As I grew I became more analytical but I still had my curiosity for art. In high school I finished maths-informatics and I can’t say I was passionate about it, although I am a rational person, but I have learn’t programming and algorithms. It was a great challenge but I have to admit that I still find these studies very helpful even if I  later chose different directions (University of Arts). In my last year of the university, I started to have this huge desire, to find my style. I felt like I am at a point where I had studied anatomy, forms, colors etc. but something was missing. And even if these studies are based on observing and copying what you see, we can not say they exclude the artist’s unique gesture or style.

      But I wanted something very very different, I wanted my style to be recognizable, and in illustration I had plenty options and a wide range of tools, techniques that made this possible. I like to think that the way I perceive everything is pretty scientific and to me art is like science, where I can experiment and discover new things. Probably this complexity and freedom in illustration triggered my curiosity and passion. I remember gazing at amazing illustrators’ works, styles and wanted to have this identity in art, to be like them.

      I can’t sort all the things that I did in order to find my style, because there are a lot, but I will try. At first I want to point out some mistakes, things I believe were like obstacles in front of me, between me and my goal:

1. First of all, we should know that there are a lot of battles in our minds, and in order to achieve something, at first we need to have the right thoughts. In high-school I finished maths and informathics, so this is known as being very different from art (Warning! Labelling is very very wrong). I wasn’t very good at it, but I’ve always known that I am pretty rational and analytical. My rational background (maths-informatics) and the lack of creative studies before the university kept haunting me limiting my abilities in my mind. I always thought, “art is not really for me, I am too rational, I am not really an artist because I’ve studied programming before”. This was a huge barrier, and a huge mistake. You should never ever believe that you can’t do something that you put your mind, heart, and effort in it.

2. The second mistake I had was that I wanted to hurry the process, I think I was considering more important what I showcase to people than what gratifies my curiosity. I slowly learnt, that artists don’t have to showcase every little piece of art, sketches, anything that they make. Because we are not in the university anymore, and the sketching, learning process is behind our finished piece, and is very personal. In order to create a masterpiece you have to build things up. Just like when you go to the cinema you don’t even think of watching the whole storyboard and alternate scenes, you only want to see a movie. You don’t have to show everything, just what you find worthy to show to the public. Even though I was and I am a pretty patient person, I know now that I didn’t have much patience then; I wanted my first sketch to be perfect, to instantly scan it and to turn it into an illustration. And to show it to the whole world.

3. I was afraid of making a mistake. This goes hand in hand with patience, because somehow I felt like I was during a test and I had to make the first sketch perfect. Whenever I didn’t make it, I started to blame myself, and I was ruining my mood, my curiosity with it.

4. Comparison. This is a tough one. While for an artist art is like food for soul, it’s simply inevitable to look at other artists’ works, achievements and success. We need to grow visually and this hunger brings us in a great error: we tend to compare ourselves with other artists. It’s something that at first I didn’t recognize, because I guess I was too driven, but it’s definitely a big “mistake” and it’s not fair to compare yourself to artists who are probably in the business for ages. Or if I put it this way: do you think it’s fair to compare the IQ of a toddler with the IQ of an adult? Another fact that I found also very important is that we are all different and we all have different journeys. We can’t compare each other’s lives and journeys because these are the things that make us unique, we are all uniquely different.

 So what really helped me?

I tried to calm down and started to listen to podcasts from various artists while I was working, I understood they ALL have gone through these struggles just like me and I started to work with less hesitation and fear, with more focus and I was content

Started to ‘force’ myself to think positive and to believe that I can achieve great things

Learnt that I don’t have to showcase anything, perhaps just the final piece; I am not doing art to impress anybody, I am doing art (strictly) for MYSELF (this changes when you work with clients)          

I imagined that if I was successful I would have a certain attitude, and I tried to adjust my way of thinking to that. In my mind a successful person is someone who goes through the struggles and becomes much stronger. I was thinking of what would I do differently if I was successful, what steps would I make, would I be optimistic or pessimistic? Would I be content or blaming myself for every mistake? To control our thoughts is a constant struggle but it’s necessary to pay attention to our thinking. Because the patterns of our thoughts create feelings, which then create habits, which will easily be merged into our personality and change it. The roots of a great personality are great thoughts - every single day!

I bought children’s books and studied them

I spent hours in bookstores hunting for new styles, artists, wrote down the names and made my research when I got home

Created various sketches for one single illustration, and then I picked the best one to illustrate it (this is actually the right process)

I was working for stock websites where I didn’t receive critics, earned some little money and I could follow the trends and work freely

I constantly analyzed what can I do to improve, and made a list of what to add to my “style” to be more unique

After a lot of studies of anatomy, it became more natural to draw forms from different perspectives without references

After watching a lot of cartoons, I started to understand more how characters were made, how they are turned and were drawn from different perspectives

My knowledge of anatomy and cartoons were fused together and I slowly started to create characters on my own

I studied great artists and tried to understand their way of thinking

I understood that skills are like muscles, it takes effort to get better and better and you can’t jump from one point to another, you have to go through struggles; in order to have muscles you have to make a lot of sit-ups a day, but if you don’t do them you can not expect to see visible changes

    After all, I became a nerd for art!

Conclusion:

      So if I had to start all over I would do the exact opposite of the first 4 mistakes that I did:

to understand DEEPLY that I am capable of doing anything, and I would “throw away” all the labels that I and others put on me

live in the present, and enjoying it; I would make sure that I don’t rush things

wouldn’t be afraid of mistakes; wouldn’t deny them, not in art; perhaps I would do a marathon day of drawing and trying to make as much mistakes as I can

I would somehow forbid myself to compare myself with others, I would find a way

      With all that said, I don’t think art is an occupation, or a hobby. For me art is a lifestyle, where I absorb everything, I brainstorm, compare, analyze, compose and create things. This is how I process what I consume, this is how I process “reality”. Most of the things I said above, I am still doing them, because it’s natural for me. I find it fascinating that in art I can always learn. Someone once said, in order to be a professional you have to make 5000 artworks. I have around 2500 until now, so there’s still plenty to go.

      I want to tell you that this is only my perspective, my personal experience, and this is what I’ve learnt through years, and how I got to where I am now, which is just a stage and I am working so I can go further and further.

      If you just started doing art seriously, or you want to improve but can’t see visible changes yet and it’s frustrating and you are struggling - you should know that you are doing exactly the right thing. Because if you ask successful people they would all say that it was extremely difficult in the beginning, and it was a real struggle. The beauty of success and achieving things is that you have to fight for it and that is why you will value it tremendously. We have to go through the battles, fight the doubts down, defeat fear to gain real skills. The things that are hard to achieve are for stubborn people who really want to achieve them.

      I truly believe everyone has talent and I wish you good luck, lot of patience, peace and finally great success on your journey of finding your style in art!

Lots of love, Jean

Follow me on these websites:

www.instagram.com/jeanbalogh

www.facebook.com/JeanBaloghIllustration

www.behance.net/gyongyibalogh

Buy my art:

https://www.etsy.com/shop/thecreativeblossom

If you have any questions or would love to work with me on a project, please feel free to send me a message on any of the accounts above! Thank you!