#so ill keep writing around it ;)
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hc that tubbo is REALLY insecure about his missing eye, so he wears an eyepatch in new l’manberg and absolutely hates it. it’s too big and garish, it rubs up on his wounds all wrong, he hates seeing himself with it. it makes him feel weak. ranboo notices (of course he does) and thinks that tubbo deserves to feel handsome again. they set off after a cabinet meeting to see if ghostbur has any books on prosthetics.
it should be noted that ranboo has no fucking clue what they’re doing. in the weeks after the plans inception, he has amassed over fifty handcrafted glass eyes, of which exactly zero will work. they’re too big, too small, not the right color. he even managed to make one with a rectangular pupil before they thought better of it. it's a shame, too, that was his best one yet. they're tired and frustrated and the eye collection is really starting to creep him out. ranboo considers asking for help.
ranboo remembers the tumultuous political state of new l'manburg.
ranboo thinks this may be a one-man project.
it really shouldn’t be a surprise that tubbo finds out. they've been practically attached at the hip since ranboo joined, and he was never any good at keeping things from tubbo anyway. they're popping over to ranboo's to get supplies for whatever adventure they're going on today, and the little chest labeled SECRET DO NOT OPEN is too full, propped open with dozens of lumpy glass spheres. tubbo notices (of course he does) and gets halfway through a i can't believe you have an eye fetish before he realizes. ranboo thinks it's a bad sign when he goes silent and an even worse one when his eye goes all misty and aw shit he made the president cry.
he's stuttering through an apology when tubbo's one eye meets their two and he asks is this for me? did you make these for me? ranboo nods and tubbo smiles like a kid on christmas, watery and bright. they've missed that smile. before he knows what's happening, tubbo's tackled them into a hug, sending both of them careening to the ground. ranboo vows there and then to give the man anything and everything he desires now and forever, just so he can feel like this again. not a veteran, not a politician, just tubbo, carefree and kind.
yeah, that sounds like a good life.
as quickly as ranboo went down, he's being pulled back up with tubbo insisting that they try every single eye, previous adventure abandoned. they spend the day like that, going through the chest, laughing at some of ranboos earlier attempts, and screaming with excitement when one managed to fit.
he looks beautiful. more confident, brighter, somehow. they burn his eyepatch that night. ranboo had already gotten him a better one anyway.
part 1 | part 2
#q#dsmp#dsmpblr#cranboo#ctubbo#cbeeduo#beeduo#c!tubbo#c!ranboo#c!beeduo#guys i missed them so much#ranboo 'i have to give as many gifts as physically possible or i will explode' beloved#meets tubbo 'acts of service really do it for me because then i know you actually care' underscore#and they have a beautiful marriage#ill prob write more for this#i have more ideas pingponging around#ill just like#rb this post w it#ok slay#love u beeduo nation u keep me going#my writing
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I really like kafhoshi ... it good.... Ther s so much potential and so much material to work with AND YET THERES LIKE NOTHING!!!!! *Rolls up my sleeves* gotta do everything myself in this damn house...
#kafhoshi#kafka x hoshina#kafka/hoshina#jk jk i will not be doing everything. bc i cannot write. and i dont mean im not great at it i like have a legit mental block#ill draw tho!!!!!!!!! i will draw!!!!!!!!#i just think about... how theyre conpeting for the same spot (tho hoshina already has that spot hes fighting to keep it)#and how hoshina was the one to vouch for kafka to be passed as a cadet (partially due to suspicion of him but still)#and also indirectly says that part of why he did that/keeps him around is because he's a stubborn guy who never gives up and that reminds -#him of himself (bc hes been told to give up his whole life too and he still hasnt. theyre both stubborn bastards)#and that hes been ''taken in by his charm'' (along with everyone else cus everyone cant help but love him)#and also they canonically train together sometimes. alone. together. come on man thats such an easy target to make it gay#just have someone pin the other person to a surface while sparring and have there be Tension and Energy there. easy.#just come onnnnnnn if you dont have ideas ASK ME#ASK ME FOR IDEAS. ESPECIALLY FOR WRITING CUS I CANT DO THAT MYSELF I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS IN MY HEAD THO
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HI MY BELOVED ANGEL!!! i am sending u mattsun + campfire as well as kisses n hugs <33
SAINTTT hello 🥺 thank you for sending a prompty!! 🥹 idt i've ever written mattsun fully before so this is something new!
help me get back into the writing groove! send me a character + any word and i'll write a short blurb about it!
contains: exes, stranded-y situation, feelings are complicated, some expletives
mattsun + campfire
"i told you we should've brought the spare—"
"yeah, let me go back in time for a sec and do just that."
"asshole."
lesson #1: nothing good ever happens when you're stuck in a car with your ex on the way to somewhere remote.
you blame iwaizumi for this one. who the fuck chooses to spend their birthday weekend in the fucking wilderness?
(okay, you don't actually think it's so bad. to be fair, he did plan this a year ago. and it did sound like a good idea. then. at the time. anywhere with the boys was always guaranteed fun―at least, until you and matsukawa broke up.)
"can you pass me the flashlight?" he points at the backpack behind you. when you hand it over, your fingers brush over his as he takes it away from you.
and you hate it, because―
lesson #2: you should never be alone with your ex when you still have feelings for them.
you'd agreed to take two cars to the camping spot: iwaizumi's with oikawa and hanamaki and matsukawa's with you. there was no way you'd fit in one, and hanamaki ultimately decided to ride with iwaizumi because, "you and mattsun have shit to sort out," he'd said.
with night setting and the two-hour headstart they managed to get ahead of you, the best thing you and matsukawa can do is to set up camp temporarily and wait for them to come back for you come sunrise.
you sigh.
leaves crack underneath your feet as you maneuver around your camping space. the light from matsukawa's flashlight tells you where he is, just a bit deeper in the forestry as he looks for wood to help set up the fire.
you unload the car in the meantime, bringing out some snacks and sleeping bags while waiting.
matsukawa eventually comes back with arms full of wood, and you help in whatever way you can, clearing the space and fetching more twigs when needed.
the entire car ride here had been quiet, so it's not surprising that this entire process has been equally as silent. until―
"did you already pull out your tent?" he asks, half of his body disappearing into the trunk of the car.
"huh?" you go closer, "i only brought out the sleeping bags."
then he sighs, ducking out from the trunk with a hand on his hip, "we only have one tent."
"what?"
"makki must have gotten yours with his when he decided to move cars."
his hand runs through his hair, a habit you know well. it lights up all sorts of weird feelings in your tummy
you don't know how to feel―
"i can sleep in the car."
―but you know that you definitely don't want him to do that. all things considered, you were friends first. and you've both been trying to be friends again since the breakup. you wouldn't want to cause him discomfort like that.
so, with a deep breath, you say, "it's okay, we can just share."
"are you sure?" he stares at you.
you nod.
after setting up the tent, you eat a few energy bars and clean up from the day's events. the campfire provides ample enough heat, but with how fast the flames are burning, you're doubtful it'll last the two of you the entire night.
it’s much later on, past midnight, that your doubts are proven right when you and matsukawa are cramped together in a tent made for one. it started to get cold a few minutes ago, and you've found yourself inching closer and closer to the warmth you’ve gotten used to laying against for the past two years.
he's only pretending to be asleep, you know that much, too. the rise and fall of his chest is hardly there; you can see it, how he's holding his breath being this close to you.
"issei," you whisper.
he opens his eyes, eyelids lifting lazily as he meets your stare. the vibration of his hum reverberates to you.
"it's cold."
for a moment, your stomach drops at the thought that he could ignore you; how it would make perfect sense for him to. you broke up with him after all, and he doesn't owe you anything, much less favors as intimate as this one.
but he closes the already dwindling gap between you, wrapping an arm around your waist as he pulls you closer. it's near, far too near for exes to be―noses touching and all.
"warmer?" his voice comes out hoarser through the whisper.
you nod, your head shifting up and down—which, truly, is where you ultimately fuck up. you feel it, a little chapped but still pliant against your lips.
in your carelessness, you accidentally brush your lips against his, the sensation alone surprising you enough to inch your head back as you mutter your apologies.
"sorry? really?" he asks, eyes half-lidded still as he chuckles.
his question settles into the small space you're in.
your vision trails from his eyes, down to the slope of his nose, until it lands on his lips again. a little split like you've always known, but still your favorite. still the only lips you want against yours.
when you lean in again, you know you're fucked, because―
lesson #3: the number one rule is that exes shouldn't kiss each other anymore.
#mattsun x reader#matsukawa x reader#hq x reader#shotorus.workbook#WAAAAAH i hope u like this saint !!!#ive never rlly written mattsun in length before so i hope i captured him enough ?????#i feel like he's such a tough balance to write (bc i am not witty at all and i feel like he would be HAHAHA)#anyway !!! some stuff abt the fic: the split was amicable for the most part#but the reason why makki says reader and mattsun have stuff to sort out is because there's like a weird tension~~ that he feels around them#and its kind of like. they bicker? and snap at each other like exes do but also it's just like. why do u care abt what the other does so mu#if you arent together anymore ?? typa thing. its like. they argue but in a way couples normally do if that makes sense#HONESTLY MAKKI WOULDNT HAVE ALSO MINDED STAYING WITH THEM cos he likes to watch HAHA but i think#he joined iwaoi more as a 'ill give u guys time together to fuck it out or wtvr just dont be weird on iwa's bday' typa thing#they were also together for a while! friends first and everything hmmm the reason why reader broke up with him#can be up to you! but my intention was for it to be something fixable and just more fitting for a 'break' typa thing#not necessarily a breakup#also the iwa car went ahead and they have the spare tire so they can go back and help but better in the daylight#i think thats all !!!#i hope you like it !!#ask#rep#saint.🩸#honestly these just keep getting longer hAHAH i should follow my 20 minute cap more#ask rep answered#heartsyougave
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I really love hope is a thing with feathers and I also really LOVE the hope as a sewer rat poem too but I wish it was not explicity written as "well actually" against Dickinson asgvsjnk. The imagery is SO GOOD but this whole vibe of "my metaphor is better than your metaphor" kinda sours it for me
#i dont like the patronizing usage of ''Emily'' like theyre explaining something to a child#admittedly dickinson has been dead for over a century so its probably huge deal to talk about her flippantly in terms of poetry#this is just me personally. how i feel about it#i dont like her being namedropped like that#it has this energy of ''haha lemme school this bitch''#when the poem itself was never supposed to see the light of day. she never consented to it being published. girl was 5 years in the grave#it feels like making fun of somebodys diary#i also dont like how it kinda makes fun of dickinson's imagery of hope as something ''beautiful delicate'' thing#i always interpreted as it is told. a little bird. i pictured a fat fluffy thing like the ones i see outside my window#ive known them to be stubborn and mischivious#when we leave out seeds on the lawn the little ones are always bullied away by the crows and magpies#but they keep trying. theyll attempt to sneak over and peck away before the crows notice them#they ARE optimistic and resilient little things. tougher than they look#so i always found the metaphor apt#sewer rat also fits just as well. but i think it depends on the angle from how youre looking at it#so i dont like this vibe of ''it should be more RAW it should be UGLIER'' cuz even tho i love that style of writing#it just feels like unnecessary one-upping here#especially considering dickinson was severely depressed and tons of her poems reflect it#god forbid she dabble around with the occasional light hearted poem about seeing hope as a silly little bird#asgsjsnk sorry im not trying to make a statement or anything. ill delete this later probably
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Pearl and Marina: "oh fuck, OH FUCK!"
💜 hope you have a nice day!
Send me a pairing and a line of dialogue and I'll write you something
"Pearlie, is everything okay in there?"
Of course the collection of explicitives were going to draw attention from her girlfriend. Pearl, dragging the frying pan off the hob and frantically fanning the thin trail of smoke away with a paper towel, forced a grin even though Marina was on the other side of a closed door. "A'course! Everything's fiiine!" Phew. She'd managed to prevent the smoke alarm from going off. That would be a real snitch. "You know you don't have to worry about me, 'Rina!" Totally not. Pearl felt her grin turn to slightly more of a grimace as she observed the contents of the pan. "I said I'd make you a totally awesome breakfast and it's going, like, so awesomely!"
Well, she supposed somehow managing to burn specifically the middle of a pancake was awesome in its own way. At least she'd managed to prevent a fire?
"... Okay." Marina, unfortunately, sounded like she did not fully believe that everything was fine. She knew Pearl was putting a lot of herself into making this birthday breakfast for her, though, and didn't want to ruin that by interfering, unless there was an absolute emergency. Which there wasn't, because Pearl had things totally under control! "Call me if you want a hand, though."
"I got things under control! No hands necessary. I mean, other than my own." Pearl waved one of them, still unseen, and almost scalded her hair with a fresh-out-of-the-frying-pan spatula. "You are going to go back to bed and wait and feel loved and appreciated."
That did bring a very adorable laugh out of her. The best sound. The confidence booster for Pearl that she could, in fact, make an extravagant breakfast, even if she was significantly worse at multitasking than Marina was. "Okay, Pearlie," she said, affection in her voice. "I know it'll be great if you're putting so much love into it."
Of course it would! Marina had done the same thing for Pearl on her own birthday earlier in the month, and it had been the best meal the little squid had ever experienced in her life. Also one of the biggest, even if that had been a measurement-conversion mistake, and Pearl had felt too stuffed to move for half the day afterwards. Knowing Marina had put so much love into doing that for her motivated her to put in every bit as much effort now. Without giving her girlfriend mild stomach cramps in the process, hopefully.
It was... a little disheartedning that the pancakes were the first thing she was messing up, in a significant way, when that was something she was used to making, but... it was fine. There were just a lot of different things for her to keep track of, and she'd stopped paying attention for a moment.
The rest of this pancake seemed done, though, even if there was a very charred patch in the middle. She could cut that part out and style it so it had Marina's '8' logo in the centre! Pearl was a genius.
With the distraction now out of the way, she could hear a hissing sound.
"... Ah, shit, the eggs."
Maybe it seemed that she struggled a little bit, to the average, uncultured-in-Pearl person. And, well, some parts were a little cold by the time she'd finished organising the four different foods she'd been cooking at the same time.
The look on Marina's face, the sparkle in her eyes, when she took the first bite, was worth every ounce of effort.
(Plus, only about ten percent of the food was totally inedible! That was a new personal record. Pearl really did a good job today, after all!)
#idea i had when this prompt was sent to me like. over a year ago and i only just now got around to writing it ghkgdf#i dont write pearlina much but theyre fun#my writing#pearl#marina#pearlina#especially pearl. ill be like im not that invested in pearl and then i write her for 5 minutes and remember she's silly and fun to write#every time i edit the draft of this the keep reading jumps somewhere else Will It Stay#also disclaimer i dont know how to cook like at all. i couldnt even think of enough breakfast foods to include in this#so if theres Breakfast Inaccuracies just look away... its fine..
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procrastination is starting to have its consequences finally
#on my friends living room floor they love together but one of them has been london for weeks or maybe months#to be with her love. im on a foam mattress from one of their beds next to a glass bottle of water opened by one of them#in a mug given to me by another. the weather felt like my childhood today and it also felt like 2 years ago.#(put space in the heavens Einstein's idea and hes your friend too so nothing to fear) around the table they drank and laughed and i thought#i hope you keep growing so full with the love you receive . i hope your appetite becomes insatiable from how used to it you are#and i know youre all leaving soon but i hope one day you miss this and that youll be happy you miss it#its worth missing i think#i thought he didnt care but he said after exams hes going walk around this area over and over#(this is near where he lived and where we visited almost daily for a year)#(hed come across the bridge on a lake)#we went where she used to live and at the entrance a fox sat calmly. it just yawned and stared.#it felt important somehow. i think maybe their impressions of me will never be close to how i feel inside but i think#i love them enough for that not to matter. i dont think theyll ever know this. i dont think if they did it would change much.#and seeing them smile makes my heart glow anyway. today i tried their malaysian tea the ginger burned my throat#they warmed my heart. hes going to canada soon and hes going to the US soon and shes going everywhere soon ill never understand#how were supposed to live with memories and with seperation and with the past but we do it anyway so i think it doesnt matter much#i wanted to write a poem for the lab rats with the fibre optic wires lit with blue forcing them to turn around and around#something about how im sorry that the two photon arrays burned the inside of your brain. im sorry about the sharp points of multielectrode#arrayes. im sorry about everything we do to you. she asked to see me tomorrow. im trying to have self control but i miss her so awfully#last night my friend talked to me and i updated on everything that happened with love and the lack of it and she just started laughing#and she told me about the same thing from her side. and she told me about how she loved london because she would walk the streets#and she felt like the people were her. and her eyes would go over the people and the bag of bagels and the construction men they probably#have a kid at home maybe shes a daughter. this kid is crying for her mother and the building you just walked past caused#blisters and pain and people died in it and very likely people were born in it. we talked for hours and i felt like#i was holding her hand just like that time she held mine watching a horror film. i love her so much#my friend is a genius and i remember her picking up the charms of my phone and staring at the leaf hanging from them. shes side stepping to#music drinking dangerous cider and cocktails from a movie and chit chatting with billionaires and undergrads#i love her dearly. his head covered in electrodes. she tells me about a syrian guy shes in love with and she says#what you feel and what i feel is like cocaine. ive tried a lot of fucking cocaine.#she says ive reminded her of what living actually feels like and to never put energy into someone who doesnt see me this way.
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i was reading a scoops era steddie au where eddie visits scoops often and one thing i noticed i alway want but have yet to see (bear in mind my fic pallette is basically just shit i see on Tumblr and occasionally reading every fic a certain author has written) is a specific scene of eddie noticing stobins missing when he goes to visit them at scoops the day theyre stuck in the bunker. cause they entered the bunker after a shift one night and didn't get out until at the soonest the next afternoon right before the mall closes so if either or both of them were scheduled to work then they'd be just... gone.
and how characters around them handle that depends on how soon (if at all) they're declared missing. did robin think they'd be in-and-out in their snooping and tell her parents shes be back a little late or did she think they'd be out kinda late fucking around and just lied to her parents telling them shes sleeping over at a friend's like how we know tina was going to cover for erica? did mrs Henderson freak out when Dustin didn't bike back home (knowing what happened with will) or did she know he was with steve and trusted that they were goofing off or something?
and usually i see Steve's parents not being home but what if they were?? they could panic because steve always has some sort of excuse for why hes gone or maybe just his mom starts worrying because while his dad never really asks about him she does and she knows hes probably not at some girls house right now because he at least would have told her. or maybe mrs harrington doesn't know her son as well as she thinks she does and assumes he is out at some girls house and is relieved hes finally getting to be more like himself.
maybe just one or two people in scoops troop are reported missing that night and maybe the search started for them is enough for the other's parents or friends to realize they're all missing. maybe none of them are because they each already had a coverup with the people who'd notice. maybe they spent a good few hours in that elevator regretting lying about where they'd be because now no one knows they're in danger and by the time they start looking it could be too late (obviously erica didn't seem to grasp this yet but shes literally 10 and it's definitely her fist severely traumatic life or death experience. for the others tho it could definitely be on their minds and i have seen a few fics where robin wonders about how steve and Dustin are reacting like they've done scary shit like this before together)
then morning comes and id give it until lunch with no calls or anything before parents who believed their kids were sleeping over to start worrying seriously. maybe they call the friend their child's supposedly with and get a confused parent saying they haven't seen them or maybe they get the friend picking up and confirming they're fine (like tina). but if Mrs Henderson gets worried and calls steve she'll either get the harringtons saying he isn't home right now or she won't be able to reach him. and knowing steves like a big brother and a best friend to dustin knows that if steve missing too he's probably at least missing with him and goes to the station worried about them both
and then theres the fact that scoops has to open in the morning, probably sometime around 10am. maybe steve and robin were scheduled to both work again and as 10am comes and passes scoops ahoy hasn't been touched. maybe some mall manager calls the scoops manager (forgive me ive never worked in a mall but i do work in a store-within-a-store and we have our own manager plus the big store manager) and asks where their employees are. if missing persons reports were filed that last night then the manager would be really worried while frantically trying to find someone to cover for them. but maybe no one knows they're missing yet and their manager is grumbling about their no-shows, maybe considering firing them for both disappearing without even calling out. depending on how much they know and if the reports were filed, whoever has to cover their shifts is either worried about their coworkers (probably moreso robin than steve because of his reputation) or utterly pissed that they both didn't show and they have to open scoops ahoy with a few hours delay and probably a good few karens bitching about being closed. or maybe one or the other was scheduled and while their no-show is really inconvenient at least someone's there to open and ask for backup
and then theres steves car still parked in the back where it was the day before. a bike left behind at the mall is less eyebrow-raising but a fancy car? Steve Harrington's car? Steve Harrington who was scheduled to work today but somehow isn't in scoops right now? is he skipping work while simultaneously wandering around his workplace? and whats worse is despite evidence being there *no one can find him*. maybe thats what it takes for people to realize hes like actually missing. maybe they think he was kidnapped, hopefully he just went home with some girl and lost track of time.
and then theres eddie. eddie whos been stopping by scoops for a while now. maybe he still doesn't really like Harrington but likes teasing him with Buckley or maybe they've gotten pretty close. maybe they're already dating. maybe eddie walks up to scoops one morning to find it closed or to find that one or the other didn't show up for work this morning. maybe he hears from the worker that ones missing or maybe they get a rant about how pissed the worker is to be opening alone. maybe he's the one to go to a mall manager or security officer worried about scoops being closed because he *knows* the people that are supposed to be there right now and they don't just abandon work at the same time with no explanations.
or maybe eddie visits in the afternoons and learns they're missing from their coworkers or maybe hes there because he saw it on the news and went on his our hunt. either way it'd probably end with Eddie looking around the mall for them because he knows steve isn't going to just abandon his beemer in a busy public parking lot. maybe he finds them high out of their minds while checking the movie theatre (this one i do see a lot and am obsessed with its so good) or maybe he doesn't find them at all (its a big mall and they are actively hiding from Russians who know they escaped. sure stobin are not being very secretive while high but dustin and erica are at least keeping them in less-discoverable locations). maybe he goes home knowing hes looked everywhere in that damn mall and assumes they're probably kidnapped and taken somewhere else (if he did find them tho that opens a whole can of worms for if, how, and how much eddie gets involved and while my brains gone down sone of those rabbit holes i don't think i will today)
and then they see the news about the mall fire. and eddie knows damn well that he looked everywhere in that mall but didn't see a trace of his friends but there they are on the news and apparently in the fire. maybe eddie assumes he didn't look hard enough. but maybe he sees how steves the only one with more than a few bruises on his legs, how despite them claiming he was trapped in rumble that also allegedly killed billy hargrove he looks like hes carrying himself on adrenaline alone and hovering around robin and the kids like something more than falling support beams could get to them. maybe its the fact that he look as shit as he did but wasn't laying down on a hospital stretcher like he would be if he just got those wounds.
_._._._
hi if you saw any typos no you didn't UNLESS theyre funny or actually concerning then you should tell me and i can react appropriately
also i swear i feel like doctor strange looking through every possible reality when i go on tangents like this. idk whenever i come up with little fics in my head or come up with different ways my favorite unfinished fics could end im always exploring as many different versions of the same scenario as i can and coming up with as many what-ifs as i can.
also i pressed the poll button by accident while making this and idk how to make it go away to we're trying just ignoring it and not writing anything in it to see if it goes away
actually fuck that it probably wont work so im adding a poll question as a treat for the people who read this far
#writing this was an experience except i don't remember any of it and i didn't even reread it to check spelling#i love thinking like this tho and coming up with all these different things that could happen with this one scenario#and following canon and trying to fill in the gaps gives just enough room to fuck around but still keeps me in the right direction#with just a couple deviations that are too good to ignore like eddie finding stobin while theyre high and getting water#im also writing my own little steve henderson au universe in my head loosely inspired by those steve henderson posts by that one person#i can't remember their user rn but if i ever actually share ill tag them as inspiration inlike the first post#but mostly its me taking steve right after s2 events and letting him get help from the hendersons because dustins his new best friend now#(regardless of if he agreed to it or not)#so uh yea if anyone wants to hear about it you should totally let me know because i will do a lot for external validation#im just an 8 year old girl playing barbies but morbid things are happening#stranger things#steve harrington#steddie#eddie munson#platonic stobin#steve x eddie#robin buckley#dustin henderson#erica sinclair#steve and dustin#steve and robin#platonic soulmates stobin#scoops ahoy#stranger things season 3#stranger things s3#stranger things rambles#claudia henderson#steve has bad parents#mrs harrington#stranger things thoughts
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new years rp resolution: i will grow out of my ppl pleasing mindsets and fears of rejection or i throw blog in the trash /lh
#💔 ˚₊ · 𝖔𝖚𝖙 𝖔𝖋 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖆𝖈𝖙𝖊𝖗 ✗ long lost words whisper slowly to me. ❞#I've been trying to assess issues i have here that im actually in control of#i have a massive “go with the flow” problem lolol.#aka i just let things happen even if im not actually happy with them;#dynamics. plotting. how an interaction/thread might go. u name it.#i already said i wanna be more selfish with my writing;#so i also wanna be more open about what i want out of interactions and whatnot here.#becuz im realizing i forgot MY OWN RP RULE: u miss 90% of the shots u dont take. 🥲#anywayz blog retrospectives aside. the only thing keeping me sane during this shift is nine ice kills YAYY.#ill be around <3
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Snow White Dove, Blood Stained Wings.
(Or, the Traveler has a harrowing encounter which leaves her reeling.)
There is a shivering blob of white amongst the snow of Dragonspine, and as Lumine draws closer, jet black hair accented by hot pink stands out in sharp contrast.
Oh. That's a body.
“Hello?” the blonde called, kneeling down and ignoring how the cold bit into her legs. “Can you hear me?” No answer, so she shook the smaller person a little roughly, causing a pair of snow white wings to pop up and flitter rapidly as they jolted awake. Lumine screamed and leaned back, trying to avoid getting walloped in the face, and watched as the other person hissed and grabbed their right wing- now that the Traveler looked closer, it was moving oddly …was it broken? “Here, let me help you up. There's a church down in the city,” and strong hands lift the other person out of the snow - now that she can see the face, it seems to be another young lady, and her cheeks and nose are rosy from the chill.
“..thank you,” the girl manages, leaning all her weight on the Traveler. “You are too kind..”
It doesn't take too long to get to the church, taking the teleporters. The petite young lady is tucked into a bed and told to rest, and after ensuring she'll be alright, Lumine makes way to go.
“..it seems the rumors were true, you really will help just about anyone.. I wonder if one day, that will be your downfall..”
Lumine stopped in her tracks, looking to the inhabitant in the bed in her peripheral vision. She looked so small, the blankets covering her up about to her chin, but the room suddenly felt very, veryyyyy cold.
“..what do you mean by that,” she hears herself say, by some miracle.
“Oh…don't pay me any attention,” the raven haired girl placated, waving a hand weakly. “Simply thinking aloud..”.
“..who are you,” Lumine demanded, turning fully around to face the bed as her expression hardened.
“Does that matter..? Would you have left me alone on that mountain to die if you didn't like the answer?”
Silence.
“.. I don't mean you any harm, Traveler, or the people of Mondstadt, if that's what you're worried about," was the quiet reply after a long moment. "I swear it. But I'm aware you do not like the people I work with very much, and so I deemed it best to keep my mouth shut until you offered me assistance.”
“The folks you work with,” Lumine repeated almost dumbly, looking more and more rattled by the moment.
“You got one of my coworkers killed back in Inazuma. Does that ring any bells???”
Lumine can't breathe.
“You're a Harbinger?”
Rapidly, she goes down the list in her mind. Signora was dead, and she'd already met Arlecchino, so this had to be either Sandrone or Columbina.
“Which one?” she barely manages.
“The Damsel,” the girl replies easily, eyes finally opening - they're a beautiful magenta, almost mesmerizing. “Nice to meet you, Traveler. You don't have to be afraid. Like I said, I have no desire to harm you, or anyone here. It's a little disheartening to think you may have simply abandoned me if you knew who I was beforehand….. but at least that's not what happened, no? I don't know why you're so flustered, Master Childe speaks so highly of you -”
“He's NOT my friend!”
There go the wings again, slightly.
“.. we're not all horrible people, you know. Not all of us had a choice in this.”
Lumine thinks of the twins, and Freminet.
Columbina looks sad now, genuinely so.
“...Why can't you understand that?”
“Well, sorry for being a little on edge, considering some of your coworkers have tried to KILL me -”
“But I'm not them. I already said I have no interest in harming you. Do you think that I'm lying?”
Silence, painful.
“Perhaps if you stopped looking at us through your black and white lens, you'll see that we, and you, are much closer to grey than you'd like to admit -”
The door slams, the sound resounding. Lumine is gone.
Columbina closes her eyes, sighing.
“...well. You can't fault a girl for trying.”
She steeples her hands over her chest then, expression thoughtful. “The heart that forever bleeds will one day cease to beat. . I wonder if she will realize that before it's too late. I surely hope so.”
And the Harbinger slept.
#lumine#columbina#i've been thinking about columbina a lot lately and trying to figure out my interpretation of her.#i really like the idea of her genuinely liking the traveler and being one of the kinder harbingers; relatively speaking#the thing is though based on info that's been floating around i think columbina wouldn't really know her own strength#so she'd give mc a hug and crack their ribs unwittingly. that kinda thing. and it gets to the point they just run away whenever seeing her#also the traveler's stance on the fatui is fun to think about. like there's a lot of hostility there but it's varying degrees#signora it's on sight; arlecchino we're civil with. childe is. he's like. kinda wormed his way into our hearts yk.#lyn twins and freminet we're definitely the most friendly to. idk i just like rotating everything in my head and thinking#about where everything comes together. im very interested in our potential dynamics with capitano pierro and pantalone#and ESPECIALLY the tsaritsa. lord i can't even imagine.#anyway yeah. i wanna write more with columbina so keep your eyes peeled; ill probably post more as i think of ideas.#genshin impact
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Comte Election Story, 6th Anniversary Event (JPN 2023)
I managed to get Comte's collection story during the 6th year anniversary event in the JPN version of the game. As usual, my translation skills are rudimentary at best, so this is just a rough/general sense of the contents. Rest of the translation is below the cut:
Sweet and lovely, our everyday life is irreplaceable. After becoming a vampire, I’ve lived with him forever like this. I seek out more and more of the man I love than anyone else--
Comte: Good morning, MC. You’re up very early today.
I went down to the dining room a few hours before dawn--only to find Comte nursing a teacup gracefully at one end of the table.
MC: Good morning. I managed to wake up somehow…how about you?
Comte: Actually, I just got back.
When I asked, he told me that the host of the party started talking to him all night, and they didn’t part ways until after midnight.
Comte: I was going to finish this cup of tea to unwind, and then try to rest til noon.
He runs a hand through his freshly washed hair and brings the cup to his mouth in a series of elegant gestures that makes me fall in love with him all over again. I’m not sure if it’s because I’ve been up all night, but my heart readily starts beating faster.
Even Comte seems to notice my reaction…
Comte: …looking at me like that, are you seducing me?
Comte's eyes narrowed mischievously and he left his cup behind to approach me. A beautiful beast gazed at me as if to take aim at his prey, and he drew me in with supple hands.
MC: I didn’t intend it that way but…it’s true that I'm captivated. Your damp hair and lovely gestures are so sexy that I’m at a loss…
Comte: Saying such a thing…you’re a naughty woman, MC. Even though I tried to quell my ardor with a cold shower and hot tea...I’m glad to hear it, even though I’m far from calm.
When I raised my head--having looked down in bashful embarrassment--I can see burgeoning in Comte’s eyes an indisputable, feverish desire…
MC: Ah, mm…
His soft lips playfully brushed against the nape of my neck.
Comte: No one else would be awake at this hour…though we could be interrupted any moment. Make sure to keep your voice down.
He chuckled a little before a hot sigh caressed my skin, dropping kisses one after another. He circled around the usual place he’d sink his fangs into me, and every brush of his lips made heat gather low in my body…
MC: So impatient…Abel…
Comte: …I’ve been waiting for you to give it to me
The corners of his lips lifted a little, before he buried his fangs into my neck.
MC: Mn, ah…aaaahh…
Comte: I love you so much...and whenever we aren't together, I’m starved of you. We were miles apart all night yesterday. I’ll show you just how much I missed you.
His voice--half-intoxicated with the ecstasy of my blood--was sweet and husky with his desire.
Comte: Before you, I’m always a love-starved beast.
As I gaze into those eyes burning with emotion, an electric sensation tingles down my spine.
(Ah, I’m just the same. It’s not only my heart, my body is always seeking you out too.)
MC: Me too…all day and night, I’m always thinking about you…
Comte: --Come here. Take as much of me as you want
At his encouragement and incitement, I sink my fangs into him.
MC: ah, ha…
Pleasure washes over me in an endless cascade, every sensation in my body heightened and sharp. I clenched my hands tighter through his wet hair, and dug my fangs into him greedily to devour that wellspring of ecstasy.
Comte: I'm happy to be able to share love with you like this, as a vampire.
Like drops of water moistening desiccated earth, every crimson drop fills us to the brim--
#ikevamp#ikemen vampire#ikevamp saint germain#ikevamp comte#ikevamp mc#comte propaganda#if you can't already tell from the contents of this one--i straight up died after reading it#THE IMPLICATIONS. FOAMING AT THE MOUTH.#the way they're both dancing around it. MC trying to be strong and endure properly (girl same) and. comte.#THE WAY COMTE BASICALLY STARTS SHAKING HIS ASS LIKE ONE OF THOSE BIRDS OF PARADISE. I AM UNWELL (AND ECSTATIC).#THE WAY HE WANTS HER TO WANT HIM AS INTENSELY/DESPERATELY AS HE DOES HER. THE WAY HE RELISHES HER BITING HIM HARD.#IM NEVER GONNA RECOVER FROM THIS ONE#ive legit just been that ace attorney meme with phoenix holding his head in his hands for DAYS#dare i even mention 'make sure to keep your voice down.' SIR. SIR ARE YOU SRS RN#man the way in purple moon event he was like 'oh nooooo haha no hank pank in public where we might get caught that's too inappropriate~ owo#I SEE YOU ABEL. I SEE YOU MONSIEUR LE COMTE DE SAINT GERMAIN.#I SEE THAT U SIT UPON A THRONE OF L I E S#i hope whoever writes comte as unhinged as possible over at jpn cybird gets a god damn raise#i have never in my life been so directly catered to in one chara i swear#'loved-starved beast' ILL DO YOU ONE BETTER COMTE JUST LET ME IN. LET ME IIIIIIIIN!!!!!!#straight up ive said it before and ill say it again#that's my emotional support softcore yan meow meow golden retriever#every event im like 'hope this doesn't awaken anything inside me.' and then immediately its just 'failed step one.'#although all jokes aside i do find it endlessly fascinating about the purebloods how like#while they don't experience as much bloodlust there is this acute sense of biting as a vital expression of romantic interest and/or claim#i dont think its a throwaway line that comte says at the end--id actually argue a lot of his desire for intimacy when she's human (cont.)->#is because he feels a level of insecurity in his connection to her caused by the lack of shared/reciprocated biting#you know now that has me wondering if that's part of why other purebloods frown so heavily upon the idea of a pureblood/human couple#basically because they can't fulfill the most basic tenet of what it means to be coupled in that community's perception#yeesh ikevamp really went 'welcome to normative vampire politics' and im like 'I Am So Normal About This. (lie + analyzes)'
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was feeling good & then read something that made my mood drop. i wish i didn’t feel so . . . idek the word. replaceable ? unnecessary ? im not sure. i’ll be okay, & everyone has been incredibly kind ! i just might not be as fired up to write as i originally thought.
#( ooc . mun speaks . )#people want to interact & i also want to interact!#so im not sure why i feel this way.#ik logically it isn’t that deep. we’re all here to have fun & write & be silly.#& everyone brings unique spins & portrayals & fun to their characters.#i just get too into my head i fear. i am so sorry to keep harping on this.#ill try to slow these sad ooc posts down. just got to get out of my brain a bit.#anyway. thanks for sticking around for my nonsense dfggddfhj#tw negativity#tw negative#tw vent#tw venting
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Went through my kith and kin tag after that last post and once again lying on my floor thinking about. vex snarling at vax about his judgement being swayed by a pretty face-
(another person vax is brave enough to love, even if its dangerous. looking for the good and the kindness and the humanity among the darkness, trying to bring it forward, let vex experience it, even when it can leave him bleeding)-
and vax snarling at vex about her judgement being swayed by her desperation to be accepted-
(another time vex sees a way to secure safety and security and approval, which is safety and security, in a different form. for her, her and vax and trinket and everything she loves, safe in one place, where they can belong, they can stay)-
and. oogh.
Holding these twins in my hands. squishing them like playdough. one of them fights desperately to find the kindness and good and light even when its a fools errand. leaves himself open and hurt for a little bit of light. if it keeps vex safe, happier. one of them counting and calculating and running and cruel because the world demands it. keeps the counter going and going and does the hard things if it keeps vax whole, and okay. one close range and one long.
they'll hurt each other if it keeps the other whole. they'll gladly get hurt if it keeps the other safe. the world is harsh, and they are surviving. what the fuck. theyre such a fucked up pair. they love each other so much.
#critical role#vex'ahlia#twins meta#spar speaks#vax'ildan#every time i set out to write about just one of them it turns into both- not because they arent rich individual characters#but the kith and kin versions of themselves especially are so intentionally wrapped up in each other and the safety and wellbeing#of the other that even actions that are exclusivelt about them- for them- just them- are irrevocably impacted by their long term goals and#the way they have so inextricably tied their lives and their modes of operation around each other and its So Interesting to pick apart!!!#also because if i dive too deep into vex's desperation and her pose as a cage and a shield in one and the cruelty and regret and constant#calculation. or how easily vax bleeds for love- and how easily he loves. i will scream :) even their flaws are so tied to how used they are#to having the other at their back like vax knowing vex will keep that long term vision and vex being brusque and calculating with her charm#bc vax will probably actually like them. its not swt in stone ofc but theres a default there and it makes me. Yell.#anyway if i ever watch c1 ill probably explode. thats all.#the twins#vex meta#vax meta#my meta#ish#ok sleep time!!! :)#kith and kin
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#i dont think i’ve talked my nonverbal!Diluc hc on here yet#but i keep seeing posts abt disability/chronjcally ill/neurodivergent hcs for genshin characters so here’s one from me#idk i feel like after That Night™️ and being on the run from the Fatui/working with a secret organization#diluc not just learns the ‘value’ of keeping secrets and staying quiet but also internalizes his guilt and trauma of saying smth that could#hurt people#it started with him telling Kaeya that he’s not a Ragnvindr anymore and then is exacerbated by his 3-4 Year Fatui Murder Rampage thru Teyvat#and with all ghat trauma and self-deprecation and paranoia he just. stops talking.#he picks up sign language in Fontaine and still writes but at some point he just stops talking and never speaks again#when he comes back to Mondstadt it was hard to adjust to for both him and the people around him#Kaeya initially assumes that Diluc just refuses to talk to him until he later hears gossip abt how no one has ever heard him speak since he#came back. he goes to Adelinde and/or Elzer abt it and they tell him that they neve even hear Diluc so much as hum or grunt#afterwards everyone changes up real fast— Kaeya and Venti drinking at the bar and seemingly just talking at Diluc but they’re always#observing his reactions and body language even when they’re drunk#Jean tries her best to be patient but she has a hard time reading him bc he’s changed so much in the time he’s been gone#Adelinde & Elzer and the winery staff are the most communicative he’s with— Diluc is far more likely to write with them to communicate#at some point Diluc has a business meeting with some rich dude from Fontaine or smth#Kaeya walks in bc he has an actual important mission thinf to discuss and he sees Diluc and this Fontaine dude and the dude’s wife#moving their hands so fast and with all kinds of gestured and stuff#and it’s the first time Kaeya sees Diluc look so EXPRESSIVE— he’s frowning and raising his eyebrows and mouthing words and all this#and Kaeya just goes ‘what’#turns out the Fontainian dude is deaf and both him and his hearing wife know sign; she helps interpret this to kaeya for the dude and Diluc#and Kaeya is like ‘oh okay’ and goes to the kitchen like ‘i’ll just wait here till yall are finished’#and he sees Adelinde and Elzer there with stoic faces and they just. stand there in quiet for so long.#Kaeya finally says ‘…..so. sign language huh’ and Adelinde and Elzer have the most pained looks on their faces#later that week Diluc finds like everyone around suddenly doing basic signs with him#he later learns that the winery has ordered a shitton of signing books from Fontaine and are trying to learn#+ Kaeya and Jean too with help from Lisa bc like dont you know learning several languages is a requirement for graduation from the Akademiya#soon the use of sign starts spreading in Mondstadt— there might be some small communities where they have their own native sign but it’s not#as standardized nor widely known as it is in Fontaine#this is getting really long so I’ll stop here but yeah. nonverbal Diluc who signs fjskdjs
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Take some Fydd's I just realized I never posted
#keese draws#oc art#oc#ocs#eternal gales#fydd is such a comfort character to me rn its not even funny I adore this lil lad#hes been helping keep me sane#Ive also been keeping sane by brainstoriming more abt how I wanna make eternal gales someday which is also helping#and lemme say its getting real ambitious folks this bad boy isnt getting made for a While lol#the more Ive been thinking abt eternal gales and how I want it to be formatted the more certain I become that while its not going to be a#game Im probably going to be making it within a game maker engine#like Ill still look into how feasible making it all into a website would be but I think for what I want to make this would work best#which is! very ambitious and is definitely not smth I can manage rn! but I have been wanting to re learn to code anyways so!#its mostly just a matter of like. doing some smaller projects first and getting my shit together#ideally I want to be able to be in a place to get started in about 5 years maybe? idk that feels reasonable to me#but Im fine if it takes longer as long as Ive gotten at least some actual real project started and worked on#Ive been playing around with the idea of maybe trying my hand at making a small game for fun#not right this second but maybe soon? idk depends on a bunch of shit#honestly eternal gales has dragged me through so much whenever I feel hopeless I just have to remember that I Need to make it some day and#imagine ppl asking me questions abt it and analyzing my writing and I go ok so I must persist no matter what I need ppl to read abt them
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Do you think there are any ways ID software could fix or improve doom’s story in a sequel to doom eternal or is the only fix a full reboot?
Tbh i don't think there really needs to be a sequel doom game. For as messy as modern doom's writing is, I actually like the general premise of how it ends. Doomguy has already sacrificed so much to stop hell, he has already dedicated everything he is to this sole goal. It's thematically fitting that he would have to kill himself in the final blow. And that's clearly MEANT to be The End. Hell has been well and truly stopped, and doomguy is dead. No more loose ends. It's over. No more doom. The End.
That said, because of how modern doom is, ther ARE loose ends, and in fact, there's one very, very BIG loose end that leaves a lot of space for a potential sequel. The whole premise of TAG was that killing Davoth would destroy anything outside his realm that he made, ie any demons outside hell get vaporized. But then, the reason Doomguy dies at the end is because Dav, in theory, made everything, including Doomguy, so Doomguy goes down too. But then, since Dav made everything, Earth and humanity should also be destroyed, which is, y'know, kind of exactly what Doomguy was supposed to be stopping. So either there's some sort of loophole, or else humanity is still in imminent danger, and either way, there is potential for another story.
BUT.
The reason we're here to begin with is because of poor writing that prioritizes "wouldn't it be cool" and "what can we use to make an attractive trailer" over consistent, coherent, and in depth story. And since the current writer is the same writer who got us here... well, to be honest, I wouldn't put a whole lot of faith in a sequel OR a reboot.
(Not to mention that said current writer is the one who wrote the current big, final The End of TAG2, which implies he didn't intend for there to be a sequel. So any sequel written right now would be either him going "well, ACTUALLY-" yet again, or else the publisher pressuring id to make another doom game for money, and, well, y'know, neither of those things have a great history of working out well for good game development.)
So while I don't personally think any sort of sequel to Eternal/TAG is really necessary, they probably could make a pretty decent one... if they had a better writer. But they don't, so I'm not gonna hold my breath waiting.
#doom#pikspeak#bideogaem rambling :)#i have some Ideas about how stuff could happen post tag and#its stuff ill probably eventually get around to exploring in some form of fan content#(see: the start of that ask blog that i still have on hiatus... gotta get back to that eventually. maybe after dark ages comes out.)#but i think that stuff works better as fan content. i wouldnt want it to be official canon content.#i know they wont bc doom is id's Big Name cash cow but personally i think they should be done with doom#put it down and move on to a new franchise. the longer they keep trying to squeeze it dry the worse its gonna get.#i think tag2 being The End Of Doom works well enough for what it is#and hugo clearly wants to write warhammer 40k instead of doom. so just. let him.#let him make up a whole new ip or something n go wild instead of beating the dead horse he pretty apparently intentionally killed.#but again. they wont. bc doom makes money.#is that an unpopular opinion? thats probably an unpopular opinion. idk
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Tease Tidbit Tuesday!
I was tagged by @honestlydarkprincess @wikiangela @wildlife4life @disasterbuckdiaz @captain-hen thank you!!!
Okay so, I'm trying to finish my Eddie Begins missing scene fic this week since the ep is on the list this week for the rewatch but unfortunately, like everything I tried to write ever, this seems to have escaped my control. Have a bit of it tho. prev snippet here.
Eddie is not alone for long though, Buck is walking in soon after, fisting the ends of the sleeves of his LAFD hoodie, hair looking like he's been running his hands through it, eyes a bit wild as he takes in the IV and monitor Eddie is hooked up to. "Are you still out of it?" Buck asks, voice hoarse as he steps closer to the bed. "I don't think so," Eddie says, words scratching his throat and he watches as Buck's shoulders relax as he drops into the chair next to him. "That was too close, man." "I know," Eddie says, turning his head on the pillow so he can look at Buck more comfortably. "How you feeling?" Buck asks, placing his hand on top of Eddie's, rubbing his thumb over it in a way that makes Eddie wonder if he even realizes he's doing it. "Cold," he says and Buck chuckles a bit breathlessly. "That does tend to be a side effect of hypothermia," he says, the small smile on his lips making his whole face soften into an expression Eddie can only describe as fond. It weirdly makes him want to keep looking at him.
imma tag @alyxmastershipper @bucks118 @housewifebuck if yhey feel like sharing <3
#writing#911 wip#buddie wip#tease tidbit tuesday#the trauma fic verse#this challenging me in a interesting way#cuz im pushing my personal beliefs on how canon could be played with to make them seem like they have been going on for longer#because the trauma fic is something that i tried to keep as close to canon as possible#and i love writing this particular Eddie and really project my beliefs onto him#and since i already established in the trauma fic that the well is the moment where Eddie realizes something he doesn't want to name#i need to put this in here#but im also trying to add Bucks particular brand of worry through eddies eyes which is hard#and the line between i know im in love with you and what is this thing that I'm feeling is very thin#very fun tho#i am also pushing the way Eddie wont let go of Bucks hand here oskaoskasoaks#Buck tries to let go and Eddie goes nope and i think that's neat#also im the only person he gives a fuck about this fic but here the trauma fic is my baby#so ill keep writing around it ;)
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