#but again. they wont. bc doom makes money.

[pikkish]

Do you think there are any ways ID software could fix or improve doom’s story in a sequel to doom eternal or is the only fix a full reboot?

Tbh i don't think there really needs to be a sequel doom game. For as messy as modern doom's writing is, I actually like the general premise of how it ends. Doomguy has already sacrificed so much to stop hell, he has already dedicated everything he is to this sole goal. It's thematically fitting that he would have to kill himself in the final blow. And that's clearly MEANT to be The End. Hell has been well and truly stopped, and doomguy is dead. No more loose ends. It's over. No more doom. The End.

That said, because of how modern doom is, ther ARE loose ends, and in fact, there's one very, very BIG loose end that leaves a lot of space for a potential sequel. The whole premise of TAG was that killing Davoth would destroy anything outside his realm that he made, ie any demons outside hell get vaporized. But then, the reason Doomguy dies at the end is because Dav, in theory, made everything, including Doomguy, so Doomguy goes down too. But then, since Dav made everything, Earth and humanity should also be destroyed, which is, y'know, kind of exactly what Doomguy was supposed to be stopping. So either there's some sort of loophole, or else humanity is still in imminent danger, and either way, there is potential for another story.

BUT.

The reason we're here to begin with is because of poor writing that prioritizes "wouldn't it be cool" and "what can we use to make an attractive trailer" over consistent, coherent, and in depth story. And since the current writer is the same writer who got us here... well, to be honest, I wouldn't put a whole lot of faith in a sequel OR a reboot.

(Not to mention that said current writer is the one who wrote the current big, final The End of TAG2, which implies he didn't intend for there to be a sequel. So any sequel written right now would be either him going "well, ACTUALLY-" yet again, or else the publisher pressuring id to make another doom game for money, and, well, y'know, neither of those things have a great history of working out well for good game development.)

So while I don't personally think any sort of sequel to Eternal/TAG is really necessary, they probably could make a pretty decent one... if they had a better writer. But they don't, so I'm not gonna hold my breath waiting.

[desire-mona]

dps boys (and keating's) favourite songs (aka me projecting because i love music) (also modern au because you cannot limit me to music before 1960 you just cant)

i made a playlist of all these songs in case you wanna give em a listen, you can find it here. if you totally disagree with me or wanna add more then absolutely let me know!

neil: talia - ride the cyclone (the musical)

yes i KNOW it's obvious to choose a song from a musical BUT. ride the cyclone is special, i think he'd really like the lack of an ensemble and enjoy the dark premise despite the comedic nature of a vast majority of the show. also i totally think his favourite performance would be by gus halper bc of the use of the projector. mischa or noel is definitely a dream role of his.

todd: vincent - james blake ('s cover, og by don mclean)

don mcleans lyricism is like catnip to poets and it has gone unacknowledged for far too long. a lyrically gorgeous, vaguely queer sounding song about a tortured artist, covered by someone with an ANGELIC voice. can you name anything more todd? not to mention the piano is so far beyond moving, nothing short of a masterpiece.

charlie: dear prudence - siouxsie and the banshees (again - a cover, og by the beatles)

firm believer that charlie was an avid beatles hater for a WHILE until eleanor rigby grew on him, much to his dismay. is now a casual beatles enjoyer, only due to the fact that their vocals annoy him. so a cover by siouxsie sioux (whom he most definitely has a crush on) is basically a blessing in disguise. loves the instrumentals, loves the vocals, loves all of it. insists that its better than the original and will ultimately die (correct) on that hill.

meeks: love on the line (call now) - her's

as much as i love and adore meeks, i have been loyal to my headcanon that he is an annoying music snob since day one. of course, this culminates in his favourite song being by THE indie pop/rock band that pretentious people love to bring up the death of. he is no exception, any time the band is mentioned he will without fail go "did you know that they died in a car crash?" either way, id be lying if i said this was a bad pick. the upbeat vibe mixed with the actual meaning of the song being about a guy wasting all his money on a sex hotline? it makes the whole song so fun, and thats right up his alley! super danceable too, which plays a huge part.

pitts: bad fruit - jean dawson

will mona ever shut up about jean dawson? signs point to no. anywho, if you've followed along with my pittsie musings then you KNOW that i consider pitts to be the most well versed music guy to ever step on welton academy campus. realistically, im sure his favourite song changes on a day to day basis, but he always comes back to this. jean dawson makes art that ive seen few do similarly, everything he brings to the table i find so incredibly unique and well crafted. definitely pitts' biggest music crush.

cameron: '39 - queen

absolutely, 100%, without a doubt, an extremely guilty pleasure. i take his parents as the type to ban queen in their household (for reasons that im sure youre able to pick up on) but i ALSO take cameron as a sucker for classic rock, match made in hell. of course, since brian may does the vocals on this song instead of freddie, he can listen on the dl and be fine. also, the concept of time travel in music is SO!!! INTERESTING!! would absolutely go on a 10 minute long tangent about the story and meaning of the song, which only mittsie would actually listen to.

knox: lavender buds - MF DOOM

fine, FINE. i'll give knox a proper headcanon, but i wont be happy about it. i think i would listen to MF DOOM a lot more if i was a former bully, but thats not actually based off anything so dont take that as an insult, avid listeners. honestly i dont really have an in depth explanation for this one, just look at the lyrics and youll understand.

(this repeats 3 times)

i also take him to be a big r&b/ blues enjoyer, also based off nothing at all, so the sample probably appeals to some sense of nostalgia.

keating: clair de lune - claude debussy

yes, even modern keating's fav song would be classical, you can rip that from my cold, dead hands. this song was based off the poem by the same title by paul verlaine, which i'll include because it is just so damn beautiful.

Your soul is a select landscape

Where charming masqueraders and bergamaskers go

Playing the lute and dancing and almost

Sad beneath their fantastic disguises.

All sing in a minor key

Of victorious love and the opportune life,

They do not seem to believe in their happiness

And their song mingles with the moonlight,

With the still moonlight, sad and beautiful,

That sets the birds dreaming in the trees

And the fountains sobbing in ecstasy,

The tall slender fountains among marble statues.

Paul Verlaine, 1869 (originally written in french, so this is a rough english translation)

now the song itself does SUCH a good job at capturing the beauty and moving parts of this poem, and it fits perfectly with a plethora of different emotions. i know without a shadow of a doubt that its his kryptonite. is that me projecting because i love this song and i love keating? absolutely, but i still think its true either way.

[getitoffyourchestofficial]

hi this is a lot im sorry. i love to say words and dump shit that upsets me with no real correlation. my bad /gen (genuine) (idk if you know tone indicators im sorry ough)

you dont really Have to cook up a proper response to this i just need to put it somewhere where i wont immediately get piles of advice that i cant use. i know its well-meaning but ultimately the whole situation is ou of anyones control

(also putting this 🎪 here so i can try to find it later)

im stuck in a sisyphean nightmare of a weekly cycle: i have a good day -> my mood skyrockets -> i have a bad day -> my mood plummets -> rinse and repeat. at this point i think it might be a mental condition bc something doesnt even really have to Ruin My Day, i just have to face a minor inconvenience and then suddenly im all doom-and-gloom depression for 3-5 business days before springing back up as if nothing ever happened to do it all again. my mom says i might have bpd or bipolar disorder (i always get the two confused) because she has it and we just havent seen anyone about it, mostly because we dont have the money to see any doctors most of the time. i also kinda dont wanna have either of them? not in like an asshole way but in a these-people-face-stigma-that-i-dont-know-if-i-can-emotionally-handle way. in a im already queer and fat and poor and disabled in multipled ways and overall unsavory to neurotypicals/cishets/Default Settings way. yknow

todays inciting incident was a shitty shitty halloween carnival that didnt even have the thing i was excited for, didnt have any food, had lines that were miles long (hyperbole), was too hot, and i only got 8 shitty halloween things from -- half of which were lollipops, with half of those just being the same 2 flavors but Again. we stayed for 2 hours before my mom decided she didnt wanna be out of the house anymore as usual. i cant be too mad at her because shes mentally ill in the direction of "i dont want to go anywhere because my anxiety will spike" but unfortunately im mentally ill in the direction of "if i cannot leave the house to Do Things at my own pace at least once a week i will fall into a deep depression" so we clash pretty bad most of the time. this was also following multiple minor inconveniences mind you. and was also trailed by multiple minor inconveniences. it just has not gone well. this halloween is just shaping up to suck bc i was supposed to have a whole party but we had money issues so it had to be cut down to just 2 people for a sleepover, then one of them went out to see his grandma in another state and the other is apparently in the fucking hospital right now??? at least according to his posts. and i cant blame them for these either! schedules conflict and sometimes you go to the Fuckig Hosital. its out of anyones control but it still feels like shit. so its looking like my only shot at having any fun this halloween is the trunk-or-treat at my school and idk if im even allowed to go bc i had to drop out for mental health reasons and they told me i wasnt allowed on school grounds anymore. idk if that applies here. which btw. way to make a depressed kid feel worse. you can NEVER come to this high school again or we'll ARREST YOU. fuckin bullshit. BUT thats off topic the synopsis is that this halloween sucks so far and i dont really expect it to get better which extra sucks bc im turning 18 next year and i dont wanna let this be the last hurrah for my number one favorite holiday. i cant host fucking parties for my friends after then. im gonna be busy trying to fuck off to the other end of the country. i wont have TIME for it. idk. it sucks. this sucks. fuck art and fuck you /ref (reference) /nbh (nobody here)

Ik you don't want advice for this so I'll just put it on the blog.

And idk if you want it but here's a tea

☕

[barrymccaulkinem]

it's like my recovery finally started to happen again: I'm showering daily and doing laundry more often subsequently (task initiation & drive), increased socialization (online but like, where else?), I'm playing doom eternal ancient gods on hurt me plenty (better reaction times/cognitive alacrity) but now i know what happens next

if it continues, my mood improves to a point where i am forced to fear either being medically imprisoned again or having a demand placed on me to bring money into the house. the fear will tank my mood for me i wont even make it to that point but if i did either of those would ruin any progress i've made and set me years back.

thanks capitalism, only system that works, for forcing me under the thumb of a woman who threw me around by the arm and shouted at me bc she was jealous (explicitly) of my mania. this woman who will break any agreement or cross any boundary as soon as its in the way of what she wants, who doesnt think before she acts at all and cant be trusted.

im stuck forever until i can have a free place to live and free money to support myself and wont have to see my mother at all. i cannot wait to kms bc thats definitely gonna happen first and this got old years ago

[golbrocklovely]

I hope im wrong for their sake but i really dont see S & K as end game. While his career is taking off right now, hers is on stand by meaning she barely releases any music, or merch, doesn’t have a proper label or management,doesn’t perform, she play sims on twitch and does tiktok and even then they are struggling to make time for one another. I mean she literally has to go with him on a work trip, and invite her friend just so she wont be alone and have time with him, the only way she was able to go home was by being included in another work trip which further puts a pause on her career.

What if she suddenly gets signed to a major label and actually makes a successful album and tours. Shes traveling, hes traveling, and yes long distance relationships can work but again, she moved in and barely gets attention from him now. Which leads to another point, i dont know if shes pushing the idea of marriage to get more clicks, or if she’s serious but that wont fix the problem, if anything it’ll make it worse and lead in a divorce or annulment. I think they’re in a very my first love stage that honestly feels like its barely now getting somewhere because it was just last year that he started taking her on work trips where as before hed leave for months with tfil and with Colby and she was just expected to be understanding. Just now she moved in and weeks before moving in still expressed worry of not having a place even though he co owns a 4bd mansion i mean to me it would have been a given after 6yrs, she didnt even have a key, she said it. So again i hope they do last but given certain statements made by both i think this is a first love, first real relationship type of situation and if they end i hope to god they remain cordial and friendly and the fandom respects them.

i'm not entirely sure what the future will hold for sam and kat. my hope, of course, is that they stay together AS LONG AS they actually want to. i hope that they know if things were to ever go south for them, and they just can't fix it, that breaking up is okay. and i also hope they know that sticking together for the sake of the fans is not a valid option. no one would want to see them not happy with one another. plus… fuck the fans lol they're not important in the grand scheme of things.

i think kat just jokes about marriage a lot bc fans have basically been asking them to get married for couple years now. so she knows she gets views when she hints at marriage. but i don't think they plan on getting married anytime soon. plus, they are both so young and they have plenty of time to settle down. plus, marriage is a HUGE commitment. it's not just an easy decision to make.

and you bring up an excellent point that in so degree, they might have to learn to live without each other physically. i think they could do it, plus, sam has enough money that if kat was on tour and he wanted to see her, he could technically drop everything and fly to her. but again, if that was ever to occur, they'll have to work thru it. and so far they've been doing okay for themselves.

while this is both their first loves, i don't think that means its doomed just bc they haven't really had experience before this. before this, they were literally teens. so lack of experience is expected. but i think they'll be able to work it out, as long as they want to. and as long as they try to.

[figula]

£today -

1. feeling quite burnt out. i haven’t got too much work to do really but ive got some, and it’s even having that some that im just like “ugh” about. i just dont wanna do any work. i want to just recover from the last few months and build up my mental resilience again rather than having to spend my time making money. but ... well, i cant. :| i spent a decent amount of time sorting alpaca yesterday so i have about 15 wigs worth of hair to use, which is about £1000 of profit, so im ok once i actually make them. im finishing up a couple of commissions as well tho which is boring and tiresome. i hate how all my like “time off” so to speak (bc ive actually taken very little time off at all) is taken up by trying to not be insane, and worrying about how im not making any money, and then as soon as im like back to being more able to work than not, i have to just immediately go back to work + there’s no actual time for healing or anything like that. like i was even working in the insanity airbnb, there is just no time for me to try and come to terms w/ how bad the past few months have been + to try and move on from them

i also emailed my main alpaca distributor last week and as usual she just has not fucking replied to me ????????? like it’s so FUCKING ANNOYING! i WANT TO BUY YOUR STUFF? gonna have to send ANOTHER followup email today, which i hate doing bc it seems so aggressive, but i need the alpaca FOR MY JOB

ive also been doing a lot of work on [site i work for] bc they’re redistributing payments in march and i have no idea whether ill be rehired or not. they’ve been v transparent about it and if they let me (or anyone) go it’s not bc ive done a bad job, it’s just that other people also want a shot at payment and logically i totally get that, anyone can do the work if they’re trained, and im not the only person who deserves a shot at it.

on a petty (?) note tho i do feel like no longer paying their one paid woman (on a team of 100+ there are two active women - the other two quit and one of THOSE  now refuses to have anything to do w/ [the sphere] politics at all bc of how distressing she finds it -  and the only one who is paid is me) is a pretty shitty way to go about increasing diversity and inclusion in the team - which they all say they want to do - like if they stop paying me im absolutely gonna have to take a step back, not bc of any resentment or bad feeling, but bc im not being paid anymore and i wont have time to fuck about for hours on the site to help out anymore. like ill basically be gone focussing on my actual business. and that seems a real shame to me. but i know my priorities, and obviously the fact i dont want to stop getting paid, are not necessarily the same as the priorities of the hiring team (all of whom i know and like fairly well, ftr, but yea, idk)

2. i have both family therapy AND the intro session w/ the new personal therapist on the first LMFAO bro im gonna be like... :| the whole day

im nervous about the intro session w/ potential new therapist, bc whilst the first one is free, after that each session costs £50 which is such a fucking large amount of money to spend every week. like such a lot. my parents have offered to help w/ it tho and ill take them up on it for sure bc my mum definitely owes me fucking reparations anyway

3. i feel generally a bit gloomy today but i think a large portion of that is probably bc period is due any day. i dont think it’s a harbinger of further doom. hopefully

[conjunkss]

06/06/2019

TW for abuse // religious trauma // death mention // suicide mention

Sometimes when she'd get mad at one of us appearing to be 'on his side' or doing something similar to what he would do, she'd burst out screaming that shawn/daddy is going to die soon, he's going to be dead and he'll have abandoned us and she'll be all we have left and wont we feel stupid then? And we better shape up or else we'll end up just as dead and she may lose a husband, but she wont lose any of her children to satan. The wages of sin is death and allat.

It hadn't occurred to me before, but damn, she brought death into things a hell of a lot, huh? The price of hurting her and/or doing wrong things was death. She has declared many times that someone would die because of what they did to her. (Happened to shawn dozens of times. Not enough to lose it's terror, but way more often than a normal parent would declare death upon their spouse probably). God wouldn't save them because they hurt her. God would kill them and it wouldn't be wrong bc it would be out of righteous anger.

It wasn't only against other ppl though, she panicked and wailed over being herself getting struck down by god for her sins often enough. Which I and sometimes shawn would have to bring her back from the edge.

She threatened suicide a couple times. Only a couple. There were many, many times where it felt like she might snap and do something drastic, but she only outright threatened it twice. I dont remember the incidents very well. Once was with a knife and once was something to do with a bath.

And there was always the constant accusations of shawn and other people and satan and demons and us kids trying to kill her and her "fighting back" and declaring she wouldnt let us kill her, that she refused to die, she refused to let us kill her.

She'd scream and get in our faces for hours on end over this shit... And when I'd cry I'd get reamed out for crying and either be accused of trying to manipulate her, mocked for being weak, or she'd rub it in and say "good, you should feel guilty."

Why haven't I remembered any of this until now? Where did it go?

It's really no wonder I was always paranoid about myself and others getting hurt or sick and/or dying. It's no wonder I policed my own thoughts so fucking bc I knew god knew our thoughts and if I thought something 'wrong' god would hear and he might have to withdraw his protection.

Also?? It was gospel in our family that reality would follow your words. So like if you said "I'm starving" when you were hungry, you were speaking starvation into existence. We always had to be very, very careful with our words. Except for my mom, but she was hurting and asked for forgiveness and we shouldn't expect her to be perfect so it was fine :/ even though we were expected to be perfect :/ anywhomst. Like it was taken very, very seriously and I believed in it seriously enough to never say or even think anything negative and if I did on accident, I would frantically think a positive opposite over and over and over to try and cancel it out. And it trained me to violently police my perceptions about my own experience and reality. Like, I couldn't even think "my mom scares me" because that would be speaking even more fear into being and I definitely didn't want that, so everytime I would start to feel like that, I would repeat positive thoughts about her instead. And I would believe them? To a point? It was like... I had my own thoughts but they were locked up tight and chained down in the basement of my mind. They existed and were there, but never acknowledged and actively ignored and condemned.

Part of the thought policing was also because I was always paranoid that people, mostly my parents or people in authority over me, would hear my thoughts. It's still a genuine fear that I sometimes slip back into.

Idk. Think I latched hard onto any means of control I could find. Some of it manifested that way. Some of it manifested in me rigorously checking any room I went into alone for cameras or intruders. Even my own house. Especially my own house. I'd do a sweep every time I entered a room, even if I'd only left it for five minutes. I'd check every single nook and cranny. I was always paranoid that my parents would suddenly one day put up cameras and then see me doing something they didn't like. And I'd try and reason with myself and say that there was no reason to put in cameras and that we didn't have the money for that, but so many things happened so often without reason or in spite of money that it never held up and I'd obsessively check and recheck anyway. Sometimes I'd just pace and check the room over and over and over and over again. Sometimes I'd check check once or twice or three times and then I'd try to ignore it, but I'd end up not being able to shake the feeling of impending doom and check the room every 5 minutes.

And I'd always have to have the door closed to any room I was in without my parents. I'd lock it if it had a lock too. I knew it didn't make my parents happy, but I couldn't stand knowing they could be watching me at any moment. If the door was closed, at least I'd have a half a second's warning when they came in. If I were unable to close a door, I'd just be sick with anxiety and I wouldn't be able to keep the doorway out of sight for more than seconds at a time.

[thesquishypenguin]

List 5 things that make you happy and then share this with the last 10 people that reblogged something from you 💖💛💙

I probably wont pass it on because im GARBAGe but bless ty

1) IT U!!!!! you’re my best ever friend and I’d be totally lost without you, I’m glad the dumb dragon game brought us together bc im p sure we’re inseparable : O

2) My lizards!! I love all my pets, but quite honestly besides my cat my lizards are my *favourite* and I’m so thankful to have them. They bring me so much joy, I really really wish I had gotten reptiles sooner, i can’t imagine life without them now. Tiny dinosaurs, in MY house!? more likely than u think!

3) Roleplaying!! like, it’s been such a massive part of my life all through high school right up until today. It’s part of me. I have few partners left, though I recently got back in touch with my old best friend and its working out

4) VIDYA GAEMS like rping I’ve been dabbling in video games since I was a literal baby sitting in my dads lap while he played DOOM and BLOOD [I got to press the space bar!! I called DOOM “Doors” because space bar opened doors.]. I will never, ever stop playing video games, not for anything.

5) My plants! how fukin cool i have a little exotic forest in my room???? 

[bananonbinary]

g-a-y-g-o-y-l-e replied to your post: oh. oh god. i just thought “hm i used to love the...

ghfjdghdfkjsghfj rip meanwhile i just used ninjakiwi back in the day so when i logged back in it was like ‘ur broke lets get started’ bc theres no 'every day regardless of whether you play or even start up the game u get money’ thing for bloons on ninjakiwi

it mustve been something on kongregate (where i played all my games back in the day) or i just broke it lol. but that sounds a lot better cause this is absolutely busted, i cant do anything and its gone up like 16 levels and still going. i even tried just going to ninjakiwi to make a new account on that website but it wont fukin load for anything. guess my nostalgia trip is just doomed im never playing this game again APPARENTLY

[imperiuswrecked]

This is pretty much a "we are taking an underdog" tactic and "we are gonna make you love the Fantastic Four the Marvel MCU" way. This is a manipulative tactic to the press and fans to get people who like the IP all riled up to support whatever horseshit they slap together.

Do you all really think that if people hated the Fantastic Four that much they would still be around as a IP property?

The sad truth is most people don't realize that the Fantastic Four literally brought about a very real human family dynamic into the superhero genre. Not everyone got along, not everyone was good/perfect heroes, but they were interesting.

The Fantastic Four were in constant publication until their cancellation due to higher ups getting their panties in a twist over the Fantastic 4 movie from fox. They were never canceled due to poor sales.

It is not fiscally irresponsible to get the Fantastic Four a movie, they've had movies make money before, they literally had an underground black market movie release made of the first movie that was never released. (Go watch Doomed, the real story behind the first Fantastic Four live action)

Fiege is simply trying to say "oh no this property wont make money, but I have a dream, I have to see if my success was bc of my hard work and my golden touch" this way after the FF movie makes scads of money, he can be all "well shucks, we never thought this movie would be this good! Mcu does it again!"

There are literally fans out there blinding my eyes with terrible fancasts and plot ideas, so excited for a FF movie. Honestly the MCU movie machine will get its money's worth and pretend their movie made it bc it was good and not because it was heavily promoted and pushed by a mega media company.

Feige himself noted that, “The three live-action movies all did pretty poorly, and no one liked the cartoon show with the robot, or the cartoon show without the robot. Frankly, I don’t even know if anyone likes the comics. Our accountants even sent me a memo that said “it is fiscally irresponsible to invest in this property” but we’re going to plug millions of dollars into it anyway because we’re Marvel and I need to know if that genie wish I made for everlasting success was actually real.”

[scum-belina]

Last week was horrible, and I got through it by the skin of my teeth honestly. I really, really hope somehow this week will be better. We wont get to see my dad again until either this Wednesday or Thursday, bc my granny is claiming she doesn't have the gas money to take us to see him sooner, but we know this isn't true and she just doesn't feel like taking us to see him and is just using my dad’s truck for her own purposes in the meantime. It makes me sick. We’ve STILL not heard a thing about my dad’s court thing to finally get disability either. The last I heard was from two weeks ago and the lawyers just reassured us that they were on it, and that the court would make a decision to approve him or not this October.

Well there’s only 9 more days left in this October, so they better hurry up. Idk it all just makes me very uneasy. Everyone in my family keeps crying about how desperately we need him to get disability bc money and I GET IT but holy shit they make it sound like if they don't approve him again we’re just fucking doomed, and to my severely depressed, anxious, suicidal self that’s really hard not to get terrified about. Like I’m trying so hard to be patient and work on any steps I can make in recovery of my mental health, but my family makes it feel like I’m doomed all the time, yet get angry at me when I tell them I’m struggling and feel hopeless lmao I’m exhausted. 

wish I had a more happy life update but happy just aint happened lately lol. But despite all of this I’m still holding on and trying to do what I think is best for me. Down but not out!!! (ง •̀ゝ•́)ง

[shittyaus]

Random Aus

I live by the ocean and paint the sceneryAKA Mod Karissa can’t sleep anxiety needs to fucking TAKE A NAP and decided to write down some for you guys. Also, sorry about such slow updates! I thought life would slow down once school ended but I guess not TT^TT I’m planning on opening the ask box again within the next few days for a day or two, so keep your eyes open!

It’s five AM and I haven’t slept yet but I’m very quick to tell you to get to sleep when you send me a funny meme bc GO TO BED ITS FIVE IN THE MORNING JESUS

we’re both freaking out because we share a celebrity crush and they just shared a new video of them (working out, singing, being a dork, etc.) and we both start jokingly comparing each other to said celebrity crush oR IS IT JOKINGLY

I’m just a poor tired kid half running an AU blog online and you start messaging to talk about what you did with an AU and things start going from there

we decide to start doing youtube gag skits and while other people don’t find them funny, we laugh until we cry when we look at the final product

I stay up until seven in the morning with you watching vine compilations and then we both start doing those weird early morning talks and I may or may not have mentioned I like someone and you wont stop pestering me shit

soulmate au - you feel the other’s emotions, but only the extremes. Intense joy, and you can’t stop smiling for the day. Devastating sadness and you feel your heart and chest heavy while you fight back tears. Anticipation and nervousness makes you ansty.

I thought I was in the private chat when I was talking to a mutual friend about how I like you again and it turns out I was in the grOUP CHAT KILL ME NOW HOW DO I UNDO YOU JACKASS STOP LAUGHING AT ME I THOUGHT WE WERE HAVING A PRIVATE CONVERSATION

I’m a fallen angel but when you fall you get amnesia, doomed to not remember anything but be stuck amongst the mortals. I have an intense fear of falling and certain people make me uneasy but I don’t know why

I’m a demon and I can smell the stench of Heaven on you, you must be a newly fallen angel, here come with me

I knew you as an angel and I keep watching over you in secret

I live by the ocean and paint the scenery outside my window to sell online and you are one of those photographers who are determined to take pictures of things where the scenery matches up with the picture/painting where do you have this money to travel like wtf

I stayed up all night and you’re the godsent angel who brings me my tea/energy drink/coffee I think I’m in love with you

I can’t sleep bc of anxiety and decide to message you on a whim to distract myself until it calms down enough to sleep hopefully

you fall asleep halfway through a phonecall

I hang up and the dialtone scares you awake

And here I’ll stop it for this one! So many of these are domestic ^^’ gah, coming up with creative aus are hard lol

~Mod Karissa

[homelygrantaire]

so! this is my @preachersecretsanta wherein I make it way too obvious that I am biased towards a particular character, and try very hard to feature all three characters fairly. I hope I did well in doing that - and that @mobius-loop likes it!

I honestly could retitle this as ‘cassidy gets inappropriate boners at the worst of times’ or ‘cassidy would die for jesse/tulip’ 

the prompt was: ‘but I love you both’ this is more of a...Cass is obviously in love with both of them, and doesn’t say it bc eMOTION? 

Summary:  If Cassidy had a duty in life, any sort of predestined plan, he figured it was distantly related to the contours of Jesse Custer’s arse.

One      

Cassidy wasn’t entirely sure what he was getting into when he agreed to go with the preacher, and his girl. What he did know was that his preacher was wont to get himself into spots of trouble, and there was no way he was going to let them go on a road trip without him. Even if he wasn’t wanted.

Overall, he was beginning to feel like some sort of guard dog, ripping into anyone who got near his padre. (He would have extended that to Tulip, but she threatened to gut him if he ever suggested she couldn’t take care of herself, again.) Jesse wouldn’t see it that way, of course. Protecting the preacher from the forces of the unknown, from chainsaws, and whatnot – was a thankless job. Not that he minded. He was grateful to have the company of a man, and woman that he enjoyed being around.

The bloody clones – or angels, government implanted cyborgs, or what have you not – hadn’t reappeared for a while. He supposed that was grand, as he was getting right tired of beating them into the ground like feckin’ pancakes –  Or chopping them up into bloody bits or – well, he could go on for days on end, couldn’t he. Mostly it had been a grand ol’ time, beating the shite out of the terminator wannabees. A part of him wanted to question why the idjits hadn’t come back – especially after the dramatic confrontation at the hotel – but it wasn’t in Cassidy’s nature to probe farther than he needed to. They were gone, for now, and he was satisfied with that.

The many conversations that he, and Cassidy had been entertaining, and a bit enlightening providing Cassidy with company, and keen insights into the preachers’ thoughts. He was tight lipped, that one– but what he did say was indicative to the sort of person Cassidy had figured him up to be. And as fucked up as the Preacher was, Cas warmed up to him fast.

It didn’t hurt that he was bloody handsome, on top of that.

And the least he could do was look. Cassidy figured it was polite, and all – acknowledging the hard work that went into the beauty of Jesse Custer. Padre went on, and on about the creation of his Lord, and how they should see it as beautiful. So, logically – it should follow that someone should be appreciating the sight of this man. And who better to do so than him.

If Cassidy had a duty in life, any sort of predestined plan, he figured it was distantly related to the contours of Jesse Custer’s arse. And what a mighty fine arse it was.

Presently, he had a grand view of it from the seat he was perched in, as Jesse leaned over Tulip. They were bickering about something – he figured it was nothing of importance as they hadn’t called him over – Jesse’s hand around Tulips’ waist, guiding her pool cue carefully. Something about the way they were pressed together, Jesse’s groin pressed all against the back of her lithe form, did something for him.

He immediately resolved himself to a little alone time, whenever possible.

Cass himself was nursing a shitty beer – some kind of watered down American shite, watching them with keen interest. The bar was nearly dead at this time of day, only a few miserable blokes sipping quietly into their lagers.

This silence is interrupted almost abruptly by a gruff voice. “You two need someone to play?” The man was tall, built tougher than a brick house. His chest was broad, arms bulging out from his sleeveless shirt. There was a cigarette dangling from in-between his teeth, and he nodded towards the pool table. “Me, and my friend over there could use a distraction.”

He motions back to the aforementioned friend – who was jostling his leg up, and down – but managed to nod his approval.

“Well,” Tulip starts, leaning back against Jesse, pool cue in hand. “We’d be alright with that – but what about raising the stakes?”

Jesse’s brow raises, and Cassidy leans forward, rapt. They both share a glance, before the man speaks again. “What? Like...putting money on it?” He eyes the two of them, appraising them slowly – and apparently finds that acceptable. He then slaps a fifty twenty-dollar bill onto the pool table, and grunts. “S’that enough?”

Watching Tulip smile is like watching an explosion; it is beautiful, and sharp and amazing.

Something in his gut squeezes tightly in response – and unsure what it is, he ignores it.

“That’s more than enough.” She responds, offering her hand to shake. He ignores her hand, and goes to shake Jesse’s – a move that spells his doom – and Tulip grabs his wrist, a certain look on her face. “He ain’t the one making the bet with you.”

He hesitates for a moment too long, but accepts the handshake.

It doesn’t take long for them to handily kick their asses. They play three games, each time doubling down their bets, spurred on by Jesse pretending to play badly, or Tulip feigning ignorance of how to play the game. However, the last game, they drop all pretenses.

Tulip sinks the winning shot in the pocket smoothly, and grins, as smug as can be.. “Well, boys – I think that’s all you’ve got.” She scoops the winnings towards her, and arches her brow. “Unless you want to bet…what do you think, Jess?”

Jesse snorts, adjusting his collar – one that he still clung too, even after leaving Annville. “Don’t think they have anything left. You bled em’ dry.”

The uglier of the two takes offense, easily. His broad, heavy hand slams down onto the table and he scowls. “Are you fucking with us? Because it ain’t funny.”

Tulip raises a slim brow, leaning against the pool cue. “Well, we were waiting to see how long it took for you to notice. I guess you aren’t an imbecile, then. Just plain ol’ stupid.”

Cassidy laughs, not able to stop himself, and the skinnier of the two cunts glares at him, and takes a step forward, a glint in his eyes. “You think this is funny?”

He coughs, grin stretching wide. “A wee bit, yes.”

“Care to explain why?”

Cassidy pauses, scratching at his nose briefly. “Well. Cause it was obvious, yeah? They were setting you up, you gobshite. Christ almighty, are you slow. They got you hook, line, and sinker, eh?”

The man charges blindly ahead, and Cas is able to trip him -

Jesse reacts quickly, grabbing the man’s arm, and twisting it up against his back, making a sickening crack. The man squeals, making that same bunny noise that Donnie made when they had first met, when he first realized there was something more to this preacher man.

Afterwards, after they had been kicked out of the bar, back into the car – Cassidy quietly concludes to himself, that he may love these two idiots.

[sellbel]

i have not been this upset in a long ass time

I am typing this on my actual computer as opposed to my phone so the angry words can come out as fast as humanly possible.

so joshs grandma got me a flight to go surprise my sister for her 30th bday in april and everything was set and good i had the flight on my delta app then someone called her and told her that the credit card info was old or wrong so they had to give the reservation to someone else.. okay no biggie yet.. she could call again and have them redo it... so she did but she did it for the wrong times and basically got me a flight that wasn’t as perfect as the original one. whatever, I could have just dealt. but she cancelled it and tried to change it or something and spent TWO HOURS on the phone with her and they were trying to tell her it’d be $300 to change the flight she’d made or $200 to cancel it. like what the actual fuck? so she cancelled i guess and josh didnt even tell me about all of it until i called him tonight to get an update. so she got charged for $200 for no reason and I feel so fucking awful about it. Im embarrassed and feeling guilty and shitty and im never going over to his house again. i guess they gave her like a $115 united airlines credit but LOL all united flights are like $400 so even if she gave me the credit i couldnt make up the difference. I can’t even pay her back to $200 right now. I shouldnt have to but she shouldnt have been charged in the first place i am so fucking upset about it. EVerything was perfect and planned out but OF COURSE nothing in my life can ever go my way. I am always fucking myself and other people over. I feel like a sack of shit. but its the stupid companies fault because the first reservation shouldve worked but THEY typed in the credit card info wrong. 

SO josh is telling me all this shit on the phone and i just lose it. I start crying because i have to tell my brother in law that i can no longer come because i cant afford it and the plans that i said were a sure thing actually fell through. I am not going to get to see my sister for probably 10 months now.. and so im sitting here crying because im sad and im also feeling like shit about the money and hassle i put his grandma through and his grandparents probably high key hate my ass now. i feel so incredibly fucking bad. I just wanted josh to come stay the night bc when i am sad he calms me down. makes me feel better. god forbid I ask him that. god forbid he feels sorry for me and thinks about my feelings before his own for once. of course he refuses to come over and SOMEHOW ends up getting mad at me. okay so now were fighting. great another reason for my heart to hurt. I try SO hard to make him happy and do what he wants. and then i feel like he isnt THERE for me when I need him. he tries to anger buy me a different plane ticket to get me to shut the fuck up but that is just NOT WHAT I NEED> I NEEDED HIM TO BE HERE FOR ME. and he just doesnt get it. he starts getting all pissed at me meanwhile im sitting over here like what the actual fuck is happening right now. we argue for a good forty five fucking minutes. what. he couldve just come over and gone to sleep and we both wouldve been fine. instead he calls me a baby and dramatic. he is always low key putting me down and i just freaked. a switch fucking flipped. so then he PUTS THE PHONE DOWN ON THE TABLE AND “GOES TO SLEEP” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! just sets me aside while im trying to talk to him and is like nope im done. so i called him back probably 30 times. you KNOW he doesnt answer me. so i write him the LONGEST text i have ever sent anyone ever. about how upset i am and how much i hate him and his selfish ways and sure maybe I am being dramatic but SHIT. I feel so fucking shitty right now. i want to cut myself open or jump out my window goddamn. I deserve to be put first. my feelings are valid as fuck and he justdoes NOT understand me. I am tired of feelings inadequate. he’ll probably wake up tomorrow. not feel guilty. not feel anything. not text me. and i’ll end up texting him and he’ll tell me he doesnt love me anymore and he’s not happy and he hasn’t been happy in a long time and i will feel so broken and sad and he wont think twice about it. im scared to see what the morning brings.

I just wanted to go surprise my sister for her big birthday. thats all i wanted. screw the person who typed in the card info wrong. you have ruined my life and caused me to owe so much money that i DONT HAVE. 

like i have to pay $2249 on friday to go to peru. and dont worry that isnt the only payment. and dont worry im going to savannah that same day for the bachelorette party and dont worry i definetly wont spend money at all while im there. JUST DONT WORRY. my problem are stupid and compared to other people ive got it so good but i dont feel like that tonight. I feel like i can never catch a break. nothing can go my way. I feel fucking doomed and so fucking sad, like i said i havent felt this bad in a looooong time. i havent really fought with josh in so long and so this happened and hes going to realize im just a fat stressed out ugly bitch who isnt fun to be around and that is going to be the end of us. but dont worry ill put on a stupid ass smile and pretend that everything is a-o-fucking-kay. because school is a joke and my job is a joke and my life is a joke and my feelings are irrelevant as fuck and thats just that. how its been and how it always will  be.

nobody talk to me for the next two days because I am not fucking having it. I dont even deserve to be here. im a waste of space and a sad fucking excuse of a human being. 

fuck this 

fuck