#so i would be very Away from all the reminders of my parents and stuff
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sae-something · 8 months ago
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there is a (very) small chance my dream christmas plans might come true and i will be able to spend first & second christmas day (including sleepover) with a friend's family where i know i will feel welcome and good. please please please please please make this come true. please universe. you owe me a good thing. please please please. i want this. so badly. i've secretly thought about this for so long. and today i talked about it with this friend. she has to juggle a billion christmas obligations but i hope. i hope i hope i hope. please.
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depresseddepot · 22 days ago
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started planning out an actual real budget to see what sort of housing I could afford if I lived alone and it is. not great !
#i think i might still try to do it though#im purposefully not burning any bridges with my family so i can have a place to move back into if it doesnt work#but i make literally JUSTTT enough to afford it#with my retirement and life insurance i can afford to put away an extra $300 on top and have like $150 (MAYBE) left for the month#which. is less towards savings than i really want#because im trying to save for grad school a new car and a down payment#i did budget for $400 a month on groceries which doesnt include what i would get for food assistance or from food banks#which is a little bit more and helps me breathe a little#but this all hinges on my ability to find rental housing with all utilities included for 1k or under#there ARE some near me that have all or most included for less than that but obv until im actively looking to move out im not banking on any#sorry i know people dont like hearing money talk but i need to talk momey very frankly for 3-5 hours#after which i will promptly and unexpectedly burst into tears and thats how you know the conversation is over#im also an idiot dumbass and didnt really pay attention to how much i was spending on gas when i drove from the bigger city near me#(aka the place i will probably end up living)#i dont want to lower my savings though :( i like to save :( number go up#and also the idea that it could take me longer than 10 years to save up for a down payment fills me with teeth grinding rage#i want to live alone so badly i want to make it work#i have to remind myself that im rounding expenses up and paychecks down on purpose#but i also. dont know what the next step is?? i have it all saved already lmfao#i cant move out until august at the absolute earliest but like. because i live at home do i just. sit and wait? until i find a good place?#things happening in rapid succession scare me and it seems like the turn around for apartment touring -> moving in is very fast#i was 16 when i last moved idk how to do that!#but like. do they just. move the stuff in#yes this is exactly how moving works i know#i think really what i need to do is tell my parents in august that im going to move out#because if they're ready to move furniture then maybe the brain can take over and make decisions and sign contracts quickly#before the loser has time to even start getting freaky about things#any ghosts looking to be a second source of income
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chron0ph0bia · 1 year ago
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you parents constantly telling u the shit that you've been trying to unlearn surely is smth
#my mum is very “tough it out” its all in your head meditate and never experience and emotional reaction this way. make rules for yourselfetc#shes the bhuddist equivalent of a bible quotes spewing christian basically. n its cool i know how to control my emotions and shit now but#thats my problem lmaooo. it took me counseling to learn how to feel emotions and im still not nailing it most times#also i used to be so strict about rules i made for myself like “u have to brish ur teeth before bed” that i would stay up until 4am not doi#anything because i was too tired to get up and go brush them until i passed out from exhaustion#unlearning that was very good for me right#mothers undiagnosed adhd most likely lmao and is just constantly teachibg me all the coping skills she developed#and its so fun cuz she just always tells me stuff she struggled with and im like mother youve been telling me this since i was born i GOT I#funnily enough i use all the meditation and bhuddist shit when talking to her specifically#every conversation is me going ok.. deep breath. think from her perspective. calmly explain and address. its not personal. getting agitated#would resolve nothing#and thats fascinating cuz when i moved out i was like oh you people dont receive the training of a bhuddist monk by age 5??#i had a roomate who i didnt get along with sadly who was the complete opposite and had learned to communicate via shouting and confrontatio#like thats literally how she communicated n i had such a hard time saying anything to her cuz id learnt to just go meditate till feeling go#away before talking to someone#like i never saw my parents shout at each other or argue in my life. they usually retired themselves from the situation#when i explained this shit to someone they were like “lucky u my parents fought all the time” my brother in christ youre not hearing me#you can be unhealthy in different ways.#my conclusion now is my mums a cool person just totally clueless on how to raise a child#like i remember feeling very unheard and bad about her becayse literally every sentence out of her mouth is a life lesson#and even if u catch her in a genuine social interaction with u she quickly corrects herself and brings the life wisdom back in#and even if she agrees with you shell go in a ten minute tangent because she wanted to talk about bhuddha when literally there was no point#fuck as a kid with adhd i remember it being torture#now i learnt how to deal with it better but good christ#and yeah just had to tell this to someone because i have the patience of a saint and its not being recognised#like even my cousin is always like you know how ur mom is cuz being lectured 24/7 is exhausting#and fr everytime i talk to her i have to be like “ok. now remind her subtly that you are a human being”#lmaoo#readme.txt
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colossrat · 2 months ago
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the beginning is not what it seems, I promise it will be a funny approach Mary: I can’t believe you got a girlfriend and didn’t tell me!!
She’s upset because she and Marvel promised to always tell each other everything, not because of the supposed girlfriend itself
Cap: I don’t have a girlfriend! We’re just talking
Mary: Stop lying to me!! Did you even stop to think what Mom would think about this?!
And by “this”, she means lying to each other, not dating someone.
Cap: You don’t need to remind me, Mary. I was there when I made that promise to her. I’m keeping my word.
It’s been maybe eight years since their mom made them promise to never lie and to stay friends forever. They were around 4 or 5 years old, it was before their parents passed away.
Cap: Mary, please... I’m not lying or hiding anything from you. I was just talking to that lady. I’m not breaking the promise I made to her… I would never do that. Okay? I would never do that to her… or to you.
Mary: Just… tell me things first. I don’t like hearing stuff from other people. They gossip! They’re saying all kinds of things about you.
Cap: And you believed them? Mary, I would never do anything that would hurt you or Mom…
Then they hug, a warm sibling moment where they talk it out and fix the misunderstanding. Mary was a bundle of nerves because it wasn’t the first time Marvel didn’t tell her something first, and she heard about it from someone else. She was scared they were growing apart :(
But here’s the twist:
Some members of the Justice League who were around during this thought Marvel had made a promise to Mary’s dead mother, his ex-wife, that he’d never move on with anyone else. And that Mary keeps holding him to that promise, reminding him of his dead wife and not letting him move on without guilt. Nobody really blames either of them, they understand both sides… it’s complicated.
They start noticing the little things Marvel does. He never, ever, shows romantic or sexual interest in anyone, man or woman. He’s extremely respectful and always careful not to come off as too friendly. Some of the League members start feeling sorry for him. From what they know, Cap is immortal, or at least going to live for a few more centuries, and that’s a long time to be stuck in the past. But some of them understand… sometimes, love is hard to move on from. And there’s Mary, who doesn’t seem ready to see her father with someone else that is not her mom
Later, Flash and Hal not only stop trying to set Marvel up with other heroes, but they even start helping him out when some hero, villain, or civilian tries to flirt with him.
Batman recommends a few therapists for both him and Mary, family therapy, a whole list of suggestions
There was one time they went out for some bonding routine. Marvel didn’t drink (he doesn’t like alcohol), but he was relaxed enough to spill a little:
Marvel: I’ve actually been liking someone lately. nothing serious. They’re just a very kind and smart person and… and I could really see myself with them, you know? But Mary… I don’t think she’d like that. And it’s important to me that if I’m going to have any kind of relationship, she’s okay with it, and that she gets along with them.
And he looks so sad and demotivated… Batman is the first to give him a couple of firm slaps on the back in support.
The reality is that Billy is actually liking someone, but it just so happens that this someone is (reader’s choice) a person Mary absolutely cannot stand. And Billy’s terrified of saying “I’m dating [person]!” and hearing Mary go “OH HELL NO.”
But from the League’s point of view, what they see is Marvel wanting to move on… but being stuck because Mary isn’t ready to move on with him and he’s not willing to leave her behind!
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ithebookhoarder · 2 years ago
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(BAU Headcanons) If you fell asleep on them
A/N: So... guess who fell into another fandom? I blame everyone on here and their amazing fics for convincing me I need to give this show and wonderful cast a chance. I may have binged 13 seasons in like a month... oops? I'm also looking at my fav BAU bunch here but I'm open to writing for other characters from the show
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Aaron Hotchner
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Just like some of the other members of his team, Hotch has a hard exterior that very few people manage to crack through. 
If you and he are in a relationship then I can bet you’ve already had to chip away at it, so you’re already pretty intimate with one another. Falling asleep on him is nothing to bat an eyelid at. If anything, he would welcome the opportunity to relax and hold you close to him.  
It also gives him an excuse to steal a few moments of sleep himself, not daring to move and wake you from your rest. 
He loves holding you close, letting himself listen to the steady beating of you heart as it gently lulls him to become calm enough to shut his eyes. 
However, if you weren’t in a relationship or if it happened in front of the others at the BAU then you know he’d immediately react by saying something about ‘work place conduct’. 
However, he’s clearly saying it for the sake of it as he’d make no effort to wake you or remove you from him. 
In fact, he makes sure to stay still and let you rest peacefully, making sure your neck isn’t bent so you don’t wake up in pain. 
He’d also make sure to lay his jacket over the top of you, a clear sign that you are not to be disturbed - under pain of death. 
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David Rossi 
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Rossi would be the first to complain if you ever fell asleep on him but it’s all good natured. In fact, he only ever complains about it to you after you’ve woken up and only as a joke between the two of you.
“What am I? Just a pillow to you? Are you trying to say my cooking has made me plump?” 
It’s hard to resist his charming smile, especially when he actually is rather comfortable to lean on. His expensive shirts are always soft to the touch, and the cologne you’d brought him last Christmas lingers as you nestle in close. 
He always make you feel safe, and that is an honour greater than any he’d ever been awarded. 
If it happened in front of the others you know he’d roll his eyes and mutter about the cheek of it all. However, his smile would be enough to tell the others he didn’t mean it. 
“I started reading my manuscript and this is what happens… guess that’s one way to leave a review.” 
He’d be sure to shoot daggers with his eyes at anyone else nearby who looked like they would wake you up. 
He’d also shoot down any possible jokes being made at your expense, his parental nature coming out in full force. 
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Derek Morgan
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This boy would be so smug if you ever fell asleep on him. Like, if you imagine a Labrador’s tail wagging with one of those big dopey grins, then that’s what he is. 
He is keen to try and capture the moment with a picture, setting it as his phone background to prove to himself it really happened. 
If it happens in front of the rest of the team then you know he is going to keep reminding you and everyone else whenever he gets the chance. 
However, you know that for all the bragging and teasing Morgan is actually super touched by the fact you fell asleep on him and he is keen to offer you a place to lay your head whenever you look like you need to take a beat. 
He even has a blanket and pillow in his go-bag especially for you. 
“Only the best for you, hot stuff.” 
He will never complain about it and - considering how much torture and pain we know this man can endure - he is more than capable of handling any cramp or pins and needles he gets as a result of you lying against him. 
Eventually, he would take the opportunity to try and sleep as well. With his job and his manic lifestyle, if he gets the chance to close his eyes he knows better than to waste it. 
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Emily Prentiss
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She would be shocked at first, especially if it’s early-on in your relationship. She isn’t really used to public displays of affection and you sleeping with your head on her shoulder is pretty public. 
She would stay as still as possible, though, scared of disturbing you or ruining the moment. She’d also probably be panicking internally, unsure what she was supposed to do. 
However, she soon takes a breath and relaxes. After all, you look so cute when you’re asleep and she is honoured you feel comfortable enough to relax around her like this. 
She doesn’t often get the chance to just sit and be peaceful so she savours the moment you’ve given her. 
She’d end up watching you for a while before relaxing and trying to adjust you so that you’re both comfortable. 
She would also take the opportunity to be affectionate, loving that she can run her hands through your hair and kiss your head without any fear of being embarrassed or rejected. 
After all, we know Emily has a soft centre underneath her tough, bad-ass exterior. She just needs to know she is able to express it. 
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JJ
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JJ is such a mom to everyone including you, so is over the moon the first time you fall asleep on her. She welcomes it with open arms, happy to melt into the embrace. 
It doesn’t matter if you’ve been together long or not, or if you’re in public. Either way, it feels like a personal badge of honour to be trusted in such a way, whether or not you meant to do it. 
She has enough patience not to move a muscle in case she disturbs you and ruins the moment. She knows that if you fell asleep like this then you probably need the rest. 
JJ would totally form a blanket cocoon around you to keep you warm and toasty as you sleep, wrapping her arms around you and cradling you close.
She’d smile the whole time, pressing kisses to the crown of your head and gently murmuring in your ear whenever you seem to stir. 
“Ssssh, Sleepyhead. It’s ok. I got you. Go back to sleep, honey.”   
If it was just the two of you then she’d be sure to try and move you somewhere more comfortable after a while, like the sofa or your bed. 
However, if you were in public then she would turn into a full mama bear and threaten anyone who came close or tried to disturb you. She has that angry mom look down to a fine art and has made grown men wither with it.
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Penelope Garcia 
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This beautiful baby angel would be so delighted if you fell asleep against her that she’d probably wake you up by accident after squealing a little too loudly. 
“Oh, oh, sorry. Sorry! Go back to sleep. I’m staying as still as a statue, you precious angel, I promise. So you just close your eyes and let me hold you.”
She’d probably manage like five minutes before she moves again and wakes you up, but it was enough time for her to steal a few private photos to commemorate the moment. 
They will most definitely be the background on her computer the following morning, and possibly yours too.
She would also be sure to make sure she has a blanket and pillow stashed away for you if you ever felt like taking an impromptu nap again when you weren’t at home. 
If you worked at the BAU they’d be kept in her lair - or your private napping room, as she tells you. 
They’d also be brightly coloured and super soft, chosen specifically by Penelope to make you as comfortable and as happy as possible, even whilst at the government building. 
“Just so you know, I gave them a spritz with this gorgeous lavender mist spray to help you knock right out the moment your pretty head hits the pillow. So, sweet dreams honeybun.” 
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Dr Spencer Reid
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Spencer is a precious boy and would be utterly baffled at first if he looked down and realised you had fallen asleep on him. 
He would be surprised he hadn’t noticed you drooping against him sooner, or that your breathing had slowed as you fell asleep. 
At first he thinks it must be a mistake, immediately trying to ease you off of him. After all, he wasn’t the most comfortable person to sleep on and people are far more likely to find his company irksome rather than soothing. 
However, after you start doing it more often he realises that isn’t the case. 
In fact, he feels rather proud that you’ve got the point in your relationship where you aren’t afraid to relax around him. 
He also learns how not to let it over-stimulate him. It takes some time to train his mind to not think about the possible pathogens that could be passing between you or the way your hair tickles his face. He’s also able to talk to you about positions to curl up in if you ever want to sleep against him again, that he feels more relaxed in. 
He’d also totally be happy to tell you all about whatever his latest hyper-fixation is, knowing the sound of his voice helps you settle better than any lullaby. 
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worshipthecrow · 6 months ago
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"Meeting the parents"
Summary: You received a call from your mother while you were with Sylus, your parents want to meet your boyfriend.
Content: Sylusx Female! Reader, Reader is exaggerating the situation in her head, death threats.
A/n: I introduced Sylus to my parents with the tete-a-tete function and more or less the things that happened are portrayed here, some comments were made after explaining them the whole game and stuff. English is not my first language, if you find any mistakes, let me know so I can correct them.
One, two, three breaths you took before opening the door and stepping inside with your heart pounding in your chest and cold sweat on your back, Sylus was waiting for you to return from your phone call.
His shirt half open and his lips swollen from the long kissing session would be a hot and inviting sight if it weren’t for your mother’s voice booming in your brain.
We want to meet him, you’ve been with him for how long? A year? And you still haven’t brought him home, if that was a lie don’t worry honey, my friend’s son is still single and very handsome.
Your mother’s playful tone made you frown, you exchanged a few more words and hung up the phone.
He smiled sideways at you, waiting for you to sit back on his lap to continue.
“Hey…” you didn’t let him finish when the words came out of your mouth like a suppressed cough, fast and violent “
“My parents want to meet you”
You noticed the slight change in his gaze and posture, but then he relaxed again, held out his hand for you to take, which you did without thinking because of habit, and making you sit on his lap, tangling his finger in a lock of your hair.
“When?” a simple question, you expected more, maybe nervousness, maybe that he would refuse, but there was only one question.
Why don’t you bring him tonight? I’m making pork ribs, your favorite, it would be a good time to meet him.
It wasn’t a question, it wasn’t a suggestion, it was an order said sweetly with a little threat.
“Tonight” you whispered, he hummed caressing the skin on your arm, nervousness didn’t let you enjoy the sweet touch.
“All right, if that’s what you want, sweetie” you let out a heavy sigh you didn’t know you were holding in.
And for the rest of the afternoon, it was you, stressed to the bone that what would happen in this inevitable disaster, someone would die, and you hoped it would be you, just to get away from this situation.
Sylus took you to your parents’ house on his motorcycle, you would have preferred to go by car, taking advantage of the traffic to get ready or to fake an emergency, but no, the way was too short and fast and now that you were in front of the door you wanted to vomit your guts on the floor.
It was he who rang the doorbell, just long enough to be heard but not annoying, the door was opened by your mother, the image was endearing, the chubby little woman greeted the two of you with a sweet smile letting you in, she still had her apron on, wet and you guessed she was washing the utensils she used to cook.
Your father was in the living room, you noticed the tiny sauce stain on his shoe, and you knew that today, of all days, would be the worst day of your life, nothing good came out of it when your father was helping your mother cook.
Your mother called everyone to the dining room, your stomach was doing somersaults, you walked stiffly to your seat, Sylus, out of habit, opened the chair for you to sit down and then sat next to you.
Your mother served your plate first, as always, the smell of the ribs, that delicious smell that always made your mouth water made you feel the worst nausea you had ever experienced in your life.
You watched her prepare your father’s dish, and the familiar fight of “one more” “no, the doctor said to watch your cholesterol” took some of the tension out of the situation, but knowing that the next dish to be served would be Sylus’ only reminded you of the chaos that was about to unfold, you prayed to any god that was willing to listen to you even though you had never been devoted to any of them.
Your mother took the plate placed two ribs and you held your breath as your mom’s voice came through your ears like the scream of a banshee.
“So, Sylus, what do you do for a living?” the smack of the mashed potatoes against the plate almost made you squeal.
“I run a family-owned business that covers a range of services and offers various products. We deliver fruit and even sell state-of-the-art technology and I work with a lot of talented individuals. If you’reinterested, I’d be happy to discuss it in more detail another time.”
You buried your fingernails in your thigh, the way your father bit into the rib meat made your heart stop for a second and the look on your mother’s face didn’t make you feel any better either, you slowly chewed the tender juicy meat, feeling it like lead in your mouth.
“And what do you do in your spare time?” your father’s piercing gaze said he wanted to give him a shot between the eyebrows, too bad that wouldn’t work, you knew it too well.
“My hobbies are very simple. I collect vynil records, play the organ, and occasionally sing. According to your daughter, my singing isn’t too bad.” The sideways smile made you blush as you shoved mashed potatoes in your mouth and avoided the zucchini from the boiled vegetables. “Do you like to sing? If so. You’re always welcome to visit my private karaoke bar.”
“Do you live with anyone? Your family?”
You bit into the carrot so hard that your teeth hurt.
“I live alone and I have a relatively flexible schedule” you blushed and drank from your pomegranate juice as your mother looked sideways at you, you knew what was going through her head. “I stay at my base most of the time. Otherwise, I’m in a hotel for business meetings or go to my private ranch when I need to unwind.”
Sylus smiled softly, and you swallowed saliva admiring how his factions softened.
“I own several beautiful horses, and one of them has grown particularly fond of your daughter. The two of them offer frolic together at the ranch. I like seeing her be carefree and happy” you held back a surprised gasp at his words, you needed to scream, preferably at your best friend, as you melted into a puddle of mush, that was too sweet, ugh. “… if I might ask, are either of you interested in shooting or racing?”
Now you wanted to scream, but out of hysteria, even though you were a wanderer hunter it’s not like your parents were too happy about it when they expected you to be something else, like a doctor, a lawyer, even a teacher, gun handling was always a constant discussion when you lived with them and expressed your desire to be a hunter.
“I have licensed facilities filled with the necessary equipment. You’re welcome to enjoy them to your heart’s content, while it might not be obvious at first glance, I’m very good at taking care of people”
You decided to concentrate on your plate, while eating, you blinked for a couple of seconds noticing something strange but ignored it in favor of continuing eating your pork ribs.
“Because of our time together, I developed new interests. I enjoy taking her to auctions and fashion shows, I like seeing her shine, And her happiness is my happiness”
Your heart stopped at the softness of voice, you wanted to cry in his arms and tell him you loved him, but that would be too dramatic at a family dinner and you could do that when you got back to his house in the N109 Zone.
“What about the future, hmm?” everyone had finished as they spoke, you felt a lump in your throat hard to swallow, what about the future indeed, you squeezed your glass as you took a swig.
“I’ll always support her with whatever she wants to do. I’ll also stand by her side without question”
The Table was silent for a few seconds while your father picked up the dirty dishes and your mother took something out of the refrigerator, you recognized the pot immediately, you had seen it so many times during birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas and New Year.
You got up and opened a drawer and took out a plate and helped your mother unmold the flan, the color of the caramel reminded you of your childhood, when on your birthday your mother made a small mold just for you, of Christmas fighting with your older brother for the last slice, which in the end you shared sitting on the floor playing on the console.
It had been so long since you had eaten your mother’s flan, that seeing it now was just a balm for your stressed heart.
You left the plate with the flan on the table carefully, your mother took the knife out of a drawer and returned to the table to cut it.
“Everything you said was very nice Sylus” your mother’s voice gave you a shiver that went all the way down your spine to the back of your neck. “But alas for you where you hurt her, I don’t want to see her cry because of you, because I swear every time you go out you are going to have to watch your back, because if I have to, I will disappear you and no one will ever find you, was I clear enough?”
The sight was hilarious, your mother, the short woman, shorter than you in fact, was threatening the leader of Onychinus with a kitchen knife shiny from the caramel for having cut the flan, with a sweet smile as she offered him the plate with the dessert.
Sylus wasn’t expecting it at all from the look of utter surprise on his face, accepting the plate with a sideways smile.
“Like crystal” he replied softly and your mother smiled again as she handed out the plates, you breathed easy that she hadn’t stabbed him, your father poured the coffee, you put sugar and milk in yours.
The rest passed relatively quietly, lighter conversations and your father constantly telling you to take care of yourself on your missions and your mother reminding you that you could always come home if you decided to quit your job.
After finishing dessert and coffee your father took you to the garage, saying he had something to show you, you followed him thinking it would be some new car he was repairing, or a modified motorcycle, but no, he sat in his folding chair and you sat next to him, nervous about leaving Sylus and your mother alone for too long, you didn’t know if she would try to stab him in the back.
“Does he treat you well?” your father looked at you with his dark eyes, the ones you had inherited, and you nodded.
“He does”
“He seems nice, and he has money” you nodded, uncomfortable about that last “I was worried, when he said he stayed in hotels, that he worked with “individuals”, I thought he would cheat on you” your heart pounded in your chest, you once had that same thought but the fact that Sylus would always answer your calls, messages no matter the time or place removed those doubts a long time ago, “but then, he started eating the zucchini off your plate when you put them aside and the looks, he looked at you like you were the moon, like you put the sun in the sky, it gave me diabetes”
And you laughed, so hard that you threw your head back as you laughed at the top of your lungs, you laughed until your stomach hurt and your father looked at you like you were insane even though he was smiling subtly.
Sylus appeared a few moments later as you were catching your breath, your cheek half numb.
“Your mother wants you to help her dry the dishes”
You got up from your chair and walked towards the door, when Sylus turned to follow you your father called him to talk to him, you looked at him and nodded, you weren’t worried, if your mother didn’t try to kill him your father wouldn’t either, you went to the kitchen and your mother greeted you with a cloth to dry the dishes and you waited.
“I like him” she said “I like that he talked about you like that, he almost doesn’t seem real” you snorted under your breath, wondering what the two of them must have said while you were gone. “Better than your exes, definitely”
You groaned, remembering that your closest group of friends from high school still called your ex from that time “evil cockroach”, and still laughed at his love misfortunes when they got to hear something about him, you were fine staying out of it, but your mean side also felt satisfaction when it turned out that his last girlfriend had dumped him.
“He has everything you like as well, music lover, animal lover, and I am relieved to know he has gun licenses, that means he will always be able to take care of you and you will have good weapons for your missions” your mother dried the flan pot and put it back in its special drawer.
“The hunters association provides us with enough guns” although you weren’t going to deny that the Harrier 700’s were your favorite.
“He’s very much in love with you” your mother evaded the subject of your job, as always, you knew her stance on your safety and the many times you had been scolded over the phone when you were in the hospital was reminder enough “tie him up”
“Mom!” you shouted, shocked, you knew she meant ‘marry him’ but with Sylus it could be very literal that matter.
“What? You would have cute babies” you covered your face in embarrassment, leaving the plate you were drying on the counter so as not to throw it on the floor “and he has nice buttocks”
“MOM!” you shouted in a high pitched voice, definitely embarrassed and your mother laughed at you, you were aware of Sylus’ attributes, but you didn’t want to discuss them with your mother.
“He hides things doesn’t he?” you nodded, calmer at the change of subject, although it wasn’t something you wanted to discuss either, you continued drying the plates and glasses. “But you know what it is?” another nod from you “Well, as long as you know it’s okay, but I don’t want to get you out of prison”
You rolled your eyes but smiled anyway, aware of the approval your parents were giving, your mother a little too enthusiastic, your mother and you finished drying the dishes just as Sylus and your father were coming back in.
The goodbye was better than the welcome and without the stress you felt tired all at once, you wanted to go back and sleep for the next week.
With a last hug to your mother and the mortification that she gave you a condom, you rode up behind Sylus on the bike and hugged him around the waist until you returned home.
You threw yourself on the bed, ready to accomplish your desires, Sylus pulled off your pants as you grunted and tucked you under the blanket, then lay down behind you, brushing your face with something, you opened your eyes and ripped the platinum package from his fingers and threw it on the nightstand, you cursed your mother.
“Don’t even think about laughing” you said through your teeth.
“You are kinda like your mom, she’s the one in charge isn’t she?” you sighed and laid on your back.
“Yeah, my dad has a bad temper, but my mom is the one in charge, if she says do it you do it” you saw his sideways grin.
“It runs in the family I guess, you’re bossy too, Kitten” he kissed your neck and even though you wanted to get mad you couldn’t, you were tired and wanted to sleep, until…
“What did you and my mom talk about?” The kissing stopped and Sylus lay back, towering over you resting his head in his palm and his elbow on the pillow.
“Your past relationships and veiled threats disguised as funny comments, who is ‘the evil cockroach’?”
“Ugh, my chronically unfaithful ex” you shrugged “that would be a better story to tell when you meet my friends, they make it funnier”
“Oh, so I’ll meet the group too?” the comment had come out of nowhere, but if you introduced him to your parents, who you were most worried about them meeting, your friends should be easier no?
“I guess so, although I’ll have to arrange the meeting when we’re all free” you were already getting a slight headache just thinking about squaring schedules so you could set up a meeting.
“I’ll be available whenever you want” you smiled softly at him, you were too grateful that he seconded you on all the things you wanted to do, whether they were ridiculously childish or not.
“I’ll talk to them tomorrow, now I want to sleep” you turned in bed and wrapped your arms around his neck to pull him down and put your face in the crook of his neck, Sylus wrapped his arms around your waist as he gently stroked your back.
You drifted off to sleep, as you thought about the best way to tell your friends that you wanted them to meet your mysterious boyfriend you talked about all the time. Maybe something like…
“Hey, do you guys want to meet my boyfriend?”
Yeah, that might be nice.
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xo-hugs-n-kisses-ox · 6 months ago
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(Request)
Headcannons for:
Going over to the Cullens’ house for the first time:
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Carlisle Cullen:
Firstly, he would absolutely be making sure everyone is acting right
Secondly, he had that house cleaned spotless
I think he would trust you to find your way there, but he did offer to pick you up
He would make sure that everything would keep you comfortable; the heater is on, blankets are out, he got food, etc etc
He would probably show you around but then have the two of you sit in the living room as he made the rest of his family introduce themselves and talk with the two of you
I think he would be someone who genuinely has so much pride in the people he’s around, so he would probably brag about/explain all his family’s achievements even if it’s something simple and silly
The pride goes for you, too, and he’s for sure talking about your achievements and accomplishments in a way that makes his family relate to them so there’s more conversation
I think he would also probably show you around outside, and he’d probably tell stories about certain things like the trails or why there’s this or that in the house
I don’t think he would talk about vampirism that much unless you asked, but he would be explaining things around it if you didn’t know or he thought you would want to
Esme Cullen:
Being the most motherly of the Cullen-Hale family, I think that if she invited you over (as human), she would do a similar thing like in Twilight and likely try to prepare something to make you feel comfortable
Whether it’s food, TV, or games (that she forces everyone to play), I think that she would pay a lot of attention to your comfort and reactions
Whether or not you’re capable of doing things on your own, she would be there to assist you by either fetching things for you (“like a good host”) or directing you to things
She definitely pointed out where everything is as soon as you stepped inside
Definitely started telling stories about the trinkets she has around the house
“Do you see the driftwood boat I have on the wall, with the succulents? Edward threw a tree at Emmett the last time we were in town, and that’s all that was left! I keep it to remind them to be aware of their strength:))”
She would also be the sort of attentive host that would be asking you questions about yourself and relating whatever you say to her family, so that you can make conversation later
She would also be very careful about talking about the vampire stuff, so they don’t sound even more weird to you
Made sure everyone ate before you came over
Edward Cullen:
He’s driving with you, and he’s monitoring everyone’s thoughts so they don’t make you uncomfortable
He would begrudgingly let Esme talk to you about your life, but like in the actual series, I think he would quickly get you away from the rest of his family
Most likely, the two of you would be hanging out in his room and he would talk about the things in there
He’s very proud of his music collection, and I think he probably would have put something on that he thinks you would like
Definitely thought to keep the house warm for you, because the rest of his family isn’t bothered by the temperatures and the house is usually cold asf
He would probably be trying to read you/watch you closely for any signs that you need something
I think he’d be like Esme or Rosalie in this regard, and make sure that you are provided anything you need while over there
If, like in the actual saga, you two go out, he wouldn’t be opposed to showing off. Definitely would pull you around to show off his speed or strength, but I think he would also be overly conscious that he’s actually freezing
Would make sure to meet your parents before actually taking you over to his house, since he does try to be a gentleman (he also wants to make sure they get a good impression of him)
Also made everyone sweat to act normal
Rosalie Hale:
(She’s my favorite, I love her)
If she invites you over to her house, be honored because even if she did like you, I think she would keep you away because she wants to pretend to be normal for a while
Getting her to invite you over was like pulling teeth for Alice and Esme
She also would pick you up, and I think she would probably warn you about her family and apologize in advance
When you get to the house, she definitely tried to hustle you into her room but Alice and Esme stopped her to introduce themselves and such
She would likely keep the two of you in her room the most, but I think she would allow others to be in there with you for brief periods of time also, as long as they swore to her not to be weird or rude
She would be another one that would be mostly worried about running you off, so she would probably not talk about the vampire stuff unless you asked really nicely
She was born in the early twentieth century, so I think she would be a really good host since it was a really big part of the culture on the time
She probably cleaned her room very well, laid out some blankets or a robe nicely across the bed (she has one, idc if she doesn’t sleep), got some flowers for the desk, etc
She also probably fends off Esme and her questions, but is later bullied into answering for you if you didn’t get the chance
Jasper Hale:
Like Rosalie, I think he would also be borderline unwilling to invite you over (for different reasons though)
I think that while he has pride in his family, and trusts them greatly, he would be more afraid of something happening and him reacting to it (like Bella’s birthday party)
When he does eventually invite you over, he probably has you drive yourself but waits for you outside so he can open your door for you
He’s also from a time period where manners were extremely important, especially in the way women were treated and how you presented yourself, so I think he would probably have his spaces very tidy and everyone in good moods
He would probably be glad that Esme and Carlisle were engaging you in conversations, so I think he would be happy to sit with them in the living room and talk
Probably is also worried about you being uncomfortable, so he would make sure to pay attention to any of your cues or mood shifts
Probably wouldn’t take you anywhere that it would be only you two, at least not at first, because he does have a fear of hurting you (in a similar way that Edward does in the series, but they go about it very differently)
Would probably like to sit outside with you and talk
Emmett Cullen:
I think he would pick you up, but not in a car
He’s running
I think that he wouldn’t be bothered showing off his vampiric qualities since you already know, but he wouldn’t probably keep it on the more minimal (for him) side because he doesn’t want to actually scare you
If had medical equipment that he couldn’t run with, he would instead take his Jeep and have all the windows down to feel like he’s running still
He would probably show you around the house (per Esme’s instruction), but tell you any embarrassing story behind anything
“That corner’s where Jasper ate shit because he didn’t see a table! Put his head through the wall and everything!”
Probably would not have thought to bring food for you, but Esme took care of it when he said you were coming over
Isn’t bothered by anyone’s bad attitude, but also doesn’t let it come that close
Shows you his room and explains all the stuff he has in there, like trophies or trinkets
He definitely collects things like a crow, so there’s a lot of interesting things
Tbh his room would have no cohesion to it but he did pick it up so it looked nice for you
Probably would also gift you something if you liked it enough (you’re leaving with a license plate he stole from Edward thirty years ago that got Edward arrested)
Alice Cullen:
She had a vision about you coming over, so when she asked it was more of a statement
She also knew almost anything you would need, so she went to the store for snacks (and blankets, and house shoes, and pajamas. It was really just an excuse to get you things and to spend her money)
I think she would pick you up from your house and drive to hers, but I also think she would probably take the most scenic route there to talk to you
She probably saw how her family reacted, and explained their personalities to you (if you weren’t all that close to them) and threatened them to play nice (if they weren’t on their best behavior in her vision)
She for sure would drag you around the house and explain any stories
Would definitely tell you something embarrassing as shit about Edward (which she knows he hears)
Would probably not take you to hang out in her room, but instead somewhere like the roof, or the porch
Would probably tell you about any visitors she’s had (but only the light hearted ones, because she really doesn’t want to frighten you)
Would also probably show you all the clothes she’s accumulated and gift you anything she’s seen you like or bought to give you
Over all, you’re leaving with stuff she’s given you and if you try not to take it, it ends up in your house somewhere, somehow
————
Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it 💕
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takumiraine · 8 months ago
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Once Upon A Time Chapter 2
<prev> <next>
So Danny? 100% has PTSD. I do have a vague plan for this. And most of the next chap written. The Fentons may or may not be terrible parents. You’ll have to wait and see. I do have plans to break everyone’s hearts at least once. Anyways. This is considered my like…. Audience test before Ao3. Things may change. As a reminder all I know about dc is from fandom and wiki and everything I remember about dp is prob poorly remembered.
Once upon a time, there had been a young boy who was happy. Once upon a time, there was a young boy who had dreams and a future. Once upon a time, there was a boy who had been alive in every sense of the word. Once upon a time, everything shattered. Once upon a time, there was a man who was filled with anger. Once upon a time, there was a man just as alive as he was dead. Once upon a time, there was a man who was haunted and hunted.
As the stabbed kid shuffled off, leaving Jason baffled, he grabbed the guy who he had slammed into the wall. His head was bleeding but his breathing was steady and Jason huffed. He knew he definitely cracked the guy’s skull, but he had survived worse.
“O, what do we know on this guy?” He asked the woman in his ear. Oracle’s answer would determine whether he took the guy in to the ER or let him roll the dice of fate.
“Rap sheet about a mile long. Pretty basic stuff. Armed robbery, possession with intent, B&Es, assault and battery, the usual.”
Jason shrugged then and dropped the guy against the wall. Rolling the dice it was. He turned away, looking towards where the kid disappeared around the corner “and what about the guy he was mugging?”
“That’s where it gets weird.” Oracle’s typing was coming through loud and clear. “It’s hard to get a clear picture of him. He has some sort of distortion on the feed. Everything else comes out clear but…. He’s a mess of pixels. Voice too. Scrambled. It’ll take time.”
“Think he’s a meta?”
“Wouldn’t surprise me, considering he got knifed and just…. Walked off with it. Wonder what his issue with B is though.”
“Couldn’t tell you. Think it might be time to update my armor if I’m being lumped in with people B and the bird brains have pissed off.” Jason took an evidence kit out of his pocket and swiped at the blood on his chest. Old habits and all. “Got a sample of the kid’s blood though.”
“Good thinking. Wonder if he’s in any databases. I’ve got a cleaned up picture now. Enough that it’s pinging in GU’s database. Dan Nightingale, Mechanical engineering major. It says he’s 19, it’s his freshman year and he’s in like every remedial class he can take, high school transcripts are mediocre at best. No other information about him really. Rogue in the making that one.” Oracle reported. Jason groaned, grapneling up to the rooftops to follow where the kid went off to.
“Someone should keep an eye on him. Ugh. This’ll be a conversation for B and the birds won’t it? Kid won’t like having a bunch of birds following him.” Jason flicked through the different visual modes on his visor, finding…. Cold moving through one of the apartment buildings. It was human shaped, but where he expected to find heat…. “Weird…. You seeing this?”
“Very weird,” Barbara agreed, tapping into his visor’s feed. “And hey, you could just…. Not tell him. You wanted a Lit degree right? Go to class, befriend him. Do some recon.” Jason knew Babs always walked the fine line between what Bruce needed to know about the rest of them and what she had to keep secret to keep helping them. He didn’t envy her position. Jason still wanted Bruce to hurt sometimes. Not as much as he used to, something about the sins of the father and all that. He just wanted Bruce to be aware that everything he had ever hoped for his boy to be was… out of both of their reaches forever.
“That sounds annoying.” He was 23. He didn’t have any interest in taking on a degree on top of his full time crime fighting and criminal empire running jobs.
“Yeah, but what other choice do you have? It’s go back to school, tell B, or wait for him to become a rogue.”
“I hate you sometimes.” He muttered, unsure of what made him suddenly so interested in that angry guy.
“Feeling’s mutual Hood,” She replied with what was definitely a fond tone. He grimaced.
—-
In the apartment, Danny was less than thrilled. That was his favorite shirt! Now not only was it covered in blood, it had a huge hole in it. His core still thrummed with the urge to fight, but he tamped it down. Slowly, as he pulled the knife out, he sealed the wound with a layer of ice, pulling his shirt off and throwing it into the bathroom sink. The knife was dropped into the kitchen sink. His keys and phone in his bedroom on the battered nightstand next to the bed.
He returned to the bathroom and turned the water on cold. He let it spray full blast before working on scrubbing the blood from his shirt. He looked up to eye himself critically in the mirror before noticing the waistband of his jeans were saturated with blood too. Damn it. He kicked off his shoes and pulled his pants off, throwing them into the now overfilled sink. The bathtub would probably be a better choice. Turning off the sink and turning on the tub Danny picked up the sopping clothes and dropped them with a wet thump into the basin of the tub. Carefully he lowered himself onto the floor, wincing at the way pain clawed through him.
He would need to actually eat food to heal from this at any reasonable speed. He thought of the two dollars he had, then the emergency stash of….he racked his brain to remember how much of the emergency cash he was left with once he got to Gotham…right. Twenty bucks…. That was all he had in the wall.
He missed the days when Sam would just throw money at him whenever his parents forgot to do things like pay rent or put food in the fridge.
As if agreeing his stomach rumbled loudly, demanding actual food to sate the expense of energy healing his injury would take. He thought about calling Sam. Seeing if she could arrange a prepaid card for him. He knew she would in a heartbeat.
Even cut off from family money she seemed to be doing better than he was. Wracking his brain, Danny thought she was working in Bludhaven as some sort of personal assistant. He wasn’t sure if it was the exhaustion that came from sustaining a human body on nothing but ecto or if he had been too distracted in the moment to pay proper attention, but he couldn’t remember if that was right. Getting the blood out of his clothes he wiped at the remaining blood on his body, getting most of it off. He grabbed the clothes and turned off the water.
Slowly, Danny pushed himself to his feet. He had survived worse, multiple times. But pain never seemed to stop being painful. It lanced through his side and he almost fell back to his knees with the way it stole his breath and doubled him over. He wished he could go back to the Zone and just… wait it out. But in order to do that without drawing attention he’d need a portal. The only ones he knew of were either destroyed or…. Compromised.
Maybe he should call Vlad. Danny shook that thought away almost immediately as he realized how silly it was. Vlad spent most of his teen years antagonizing him. Besides the GIW had probably gotten to Vlad too. If he wasn’t captured he would likely be compromised. Memories of Amity Park flooded in before Danny could stop them. Of asking for help. Over and over. Of the GIW storming in and locking everything down. Of Danny frantically telling his parents, only for their eyes to dart to the kitchen before they could stop it. Of the sound of energy. The smell of his flesh burning. Of pain.
Danny forced himself to take a breath. He focused on the wet clothes in his hands. On the tiles beneath his feet. Of the too harsh fluorescents in the bathroom that buzzed. The sounds of the people above him arguing over bills and needing better jobs.
Slowly he banished the memories back where they belonged. He’d… figure it out. He had to. Somehow. For now, sleep. Danny hung up the wet clothes over the shower bar, made sure there was a towel on the floor and shuffled into the bedroom. Double checking that his alarm was set, even though his class wasn’t until early afternoon, he didn’t want to miss it, he slid into his bed and pulled the pile of blankets up over him.
Almost instantly, he was out.
—-
“B,” Jason said in lieu of a proper greeting as he stepped into the Batcave, hood tucked under his arm.
“Jason,” Bruce looked up and turned the surprised expression into something more fond. “To what do I owe the visit?”
Jason leaned against the rock. Foot braced against the wall. “I know semester’s already started, but something came up. How hard would it be to start at GU?”
Bruce stared at him for a long moment and Jason knew it was his way of trying to figure out what buttons to press. Then he tilted his head and turned back to the computer screen. “Not too hard. It is early yet. Anything I should know?”
“Babs was lonely.” It was an out and out lie, but it seemed to soften things in Bruce further, reminding him of the two children that failed him within months of each other.
“Hm.” Bruce was silent at his computer for a long moment. Convinced that was the end of the conversation, Jason tightened his grip on the helmet he had tucked under his arm. “Either way. It is a good choice. Literature?”
The comment and question rankled Jason, the thing from the pit scratching at his carefully contained emotions. Pushing for any crack. Bruce was trying he reminded himself. Too little too late, but trying.
“Yeah. Going in in the morning.”
“Should I call ahead?”
“No. I can handle it. If not I have no business being there.”
“You will do fine.” The ‘you are a Wayne’ was left unspoken.
Jason snorted. “Right. Good talk.”
“Are you staying the night?” An olive branch. Jason wanted to burn it. He tempered the impulse to a spark.
“I have my own place.”
“Your room is still yours when you want it.”
“Yeah. The room of the worst Robin in history. Pass.” Jason turned and walked stiffly back up the steps. Hearing the soft growl of Batman behind him. The start of an argument.
He considered it a victory that he didn’t run into any of his siblings or Alfred on the way out.
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3rdgymbros · 8 months ago
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━ 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐈, 𝐔𝐧𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐅𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬.
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— pairing; itoshi sae x reader  
— summary; in which you and sae meet again in japan after a messy breakup in spain. set in the blue lock manager au.
— notes; please donate to my kofi if you like my work. and know that i am mentally smooching everyone who reblogs my stuff.
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❋ It’s not really something you like to broadcast, how you and Sae were close when you were in Spain with your parents for that brief, wonderful period of time. While he honed his skills with football, you would balance your studies while helping out at Re Al.
❋ Things had been so simple back then. Late-night walks in Madrid, your fingers intertwined with his. Sneaking kisses in quiet corners, away from prying eyes. Sharing popsicles and everything else. Sae was cold to the rest of the world, his softness reserved entirely for you.
❋ You were each other’s first everything — first kiss, first love, first heartbreak.
❋ Some part of you had to have known that this was only temporary, considering how often your parents travel for work. But it still comes as a shock to you when you parents abruptly decide to return to Japan to help fund the Blue Lock project.
❋ And Sae, so full of potential. Sae, whose career is finally taking off. You aren’t about to let him leave it behind; and Sae, too driven, too focused on his dreams, wasn’t about to throw it all away and return to Japan either. Not like this. Not for you.
❋ You hadn’t expected to see him at the airport to see you off. Sae’s expression was closed off, and it was like the two of you were strangers once again, the distance and silence already stretching endlessly between you. As if your relationship had never existed in the first place.
❋ The breakup was messy, yet silent. Both of you knew instinctively that this was the end. And just before Sae left without looking back, his final words to you were, “If you’re going, don’t expect me to wait.”
❋ The last image you have of him is his retreating figure, back rigid, leaving as the words die on your lips.
❋ And that was that.
❋ You’d returned to Japan with your parents to work as a manager at Blue Lock (Ego had agreed to take you in under the promise of free labour, apparently). Ego’s lectures aren’t fun, but you’re actually learning something under him and Anri when you’re not being driven insane by a group of rowdy, immature teenaged boys.
❋ You try really hard not to think about Sae. Even if the occasional headline reminds you of his burgeoning career in Europe. But the memory of him is a quiet ache in your chest that surfaces in random moments — when you see the colour teal, or hear a song he’d used to like.
❋ You’ve been to JFA headquarters only once or twice before, but it’s bustling with activity as always. Your purpose here is purely business; you’ll act as a secretary for Ego and Anri while they finalize plans for the U20 match with the top brass.
❋ You didn’t think that he’d be there.
❋ Right at that very moment.
❋ In that very room.
❋ Fate is cruel, sometimes.
❋ He looks . . . The same, yet somehow different all at once. His hair’s a little longer, his expression sharper, but those piercing green eyes haven’t changed at all, and the realisation makes your chest throb painfully all over again.
❋ You wonder how you appear to him, underneath your professional blazer and veneer of carefully controlled calm. Does he think you still look the same? Or does he think that you’ve changed, become a total stranger to him, much like how he is to you right now?
❋ His gaze is intense, scorching. You can feel it the second you enter the room, but you keep your head down and try to pay attention to the meeting. (The thought of having to present incomplete notes to Ego certainly does a marvellous job at helping you focus.)
❋ A breath of relief soughs out of you the moment the meeting ends. Quickly, you gather your things, following Ego and Anri out the door. You’re eager to avoid the lingering eyes of the association’s board members.
❋ And perhaps most of all: you’re eager to avoid unnecessary small talk with Sae.
❋ But you catch a final glimpse of him out the corner of your eye; Sae, still staring at you. His expression seemingly softer, almost hesitant. It’s almost as if he wants to call your name, to stop you from leaving, but something — Pride? Anger? — holds him back.
❋ The door to the meeting room clicks shut behind you with a cold finality, and this time, you’re the one leaving first.
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gay-dorito-dust · 8 months ago
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hey author! how do you think the batboys would act if they had a best friends to lovers kinda of thing going on? like reader is their bro, their other half and then out of nowhere the batboys are like omg i love my best friend <3
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Dick often made jokes in the past that it was only time before you two become the plot of a really bad romcom, two friends who pretty much did everything together, it was almost as if fate itself was trying to tell you something. A cliche friends to lovers trope just waiting to happen.
Now he couldn’t help but recognise the irony now as he holds his head in his hands, curse him and his loud fucking mouth for it always found its way to bite him in the ass sooner or later.
Dick didn’t mind falling in love, but to fall in love with your best friend after teasing about it happening for such a long time felt like karma for his teasing behaviour. He’s stuck trying to think of anything that didn’t remind him of you but unfortunately for Dick everything reminded him of you no matter where he looked, even his apartment was covered in things that you’ve left behind with no intention of taking back.
This has proven to be the perfect example of how much you’ve been overtaking his mind, slowly but surely before becoming all he could think of in his waking hours and his sleeping hours. It was driving him mad with how obvious his feelings must’ve been to the people closest to him.
You were all he knew in these moments and he was forced to be remained of his ever growing emotions with how he always seemed to be touching you in any capacity he could, his arm was often thrown over your shoulders in public or he’s holding you from behind as you stayed over at his place. He thrived off of your warmth and presence that it made going home to his place even more dull without you by his side to parent Hayley together, you’d make a great dog parent for all he was aware.
The signs were there and Dick was made to realise that he was the one who had fallen first out of the two of you, even though he wished it was you, and now all he could think was how he’d much rather have you live with him since you loved to leave your stuff at his place for convenience when you did spend the night. Hell you even cuddled together like a couple with you burying your head under his chin while he caged you against his chest with his arms as he pressed a kiss to the top of your head.
Dick knew he’d have to make a move sooner or later before someone else swoops you up right in front of him.
Damian was having his own integral crisis once he realised that he wasn’t in fact ill and was infect feeling romantic feelings towards you.
He’s against it and heavily so that he would find himself putting distance between the two of you because of it as it wasn’t something he was ready to face.
It’s very much an ‘oh shit, oh god why?!’ Type of reaction and suddenly his walls are back up. Damian knows how dangerous it would be if you were either him, as if being friends with him already didn’t put a target on your back. Not only that but he was secretly scared of what these emotions could spell out for his future.
Would he be distracted in patrols and missions to come because his mind was fixated on you and your wellbeing?
Would he become sloppy in his fighting or would he become even more ruthless at the idea of something terrible happening to you under his watch?
Damian didn’t know and he wasn’t one to ask for help either so he would often retreat to his room and put his head in his hands and sigh. Emotions were more trouble than what they were worth and it often caused him frequent headaches in the process. Damian didn’t know what to do and so he could only hope that if he spend less time with you then the feelings would go away.
However owever this plan ultimately backfires on him as he finds himself missing your presence more then he’d ever admit at gunpoint, he’d even find himself drawing you how he saw you and he’s back to holding his head in his hands and groaning at how much of a bother these emotions were going to be.
He loves you but wasn’t willing to risk your safety by taking your friendship to the next level, but even if he ever did he’ll most likely have to teach you basic hand to hand combat to satiate his concern while he’s away from you. But until then he’d rather let the emotions die in his chest, no matter how much they burn him from the inside for he’s dealt with worse.
Jason would come to this realisation that he was in love with you when he found himself becoming more protective over you than normal. And I mean more than normal.
He’d be on patrol and the first person he looks out for is you, especially if your on an late shift at work, as he doesn’t trust Gotham in the slightest at night for that was when the city was at its upmost worst. He’s watching over you like a guardian angel, a rather violent guardian angel but only towards those who deserve such lethal and or permanent punishment from his gun.
He wants you to be safe on your journey home that sometimes after beating up some goons, he’s walking you home as red hood for extra protection before bidding you a goodnight. He doesn’t care how often he has to do it because he’ll gladly walk you home no matter what, your safety was Jason’s top priority and he knew he’d hate himself more then he already did should anything happen to you when he wasn’t nearby.
He knew he had fallen for you when he became softer and more affectionate towards you, whether that be holding you by the waist as he moved to grab a cup in the morning, kissing your temple as good morning greeting, holding your hand when he feels the need to distract himself by fiddling and intertwining your fingers together.
He even remember falling more for you when you reciprocated the touches with some of your own that lead to him falling into your arms, finding his much needed solace there as he realises just how much he wanted this to be a reality you both share together, a reality where you’d lie in bed tougher and wake the other up with kisses and sweet whispers of love and adoration you had for one another.
His apartment that felt cold and dead was more alight and filled with life when you came in through the door, decorating it with trinkets and other gifts that you bestowed upon him, but what made his apparent more alive and warm to Jason and that was you with your presence and Jason didn’t know how he’d manage to live his entire life without you being his rock and his reason for everything.
So needless to say that Jason felt as though that if he’d loose you he would be a man without a cause, a man without an anchor who could aways bring him back form the brink, he knew damn well that how he treated himself now would be nothing in comparison to how he would treat himself if you left his life.
Jason needed you like he needed air to breathe, how he was going to confess he wasn’t certain but he had a thing or two in mind.
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house-of-angst · 1 year ago
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Y'all mind if I talk about Present Mic's quirk for a second? Great.
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So, my partner and I have been having Erasermic brainrot lately, and while we were binging content with them, I became interested in Hizashi's voice quirk. I began searching stuff about how sound/volume works, and linking it to his canon stuff.
I'll just say, the info I found makes him a pretty scary guy. It's a shame he's so underused in both canon and fanon.
Frequency
First of all, I want to talk about something everyone knows about him: his quirk is potent enough to shatter glass. Now, when it comes to decibels, it's always important to consider the time and distance a certain note is held for, since these can impact the "hit" a certain sound wave can have when influenced by effects such as the air or vibrations.
(Please keep this in mind for the reminder of this post)
When it comes to glass, however, it breaks almost instantly under the pressure of his voice. Our most constant example of this is the man's poor lenses, but there is a scene I'd like to talk about the most, it being he one where he completely shatters Shigaraki's tank.
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One might argue that the glass was already weakened from Mirko's kicks, but that's honestly part of something that makes this so impressive to me; Mirko's legs are strong enough to straight-up rip a high-end Nomu's head clean off, yet this tank was tough enough to withstand two attacks from her - including her ultimate move - before starting to leak; and the fact she was heavily injured doesn't fly here, as we very clearly could see she wasn't holding back one bit.
Now, let's get technical.
According to Google, a normal tone of voice would be around 50 decibels, while the required to shatter glass would be a minimum of 105. For comparison, that's roughly the same volume as a jackhammer. Now, you might be thinking, "Oh, that's not so bad! Some singers can do that!" and you'd be right, but there's also some other things to consider. Allow me to explain.
Some singers can reach a pitch that can make glass vibrate enough for it to break, but I've personally only heard of this happening if the person has their mouth close to a smaller, empty cup, and even then the volume would be distributed around. Hizashi, on the other hand, was standing several feet away from this reinforced tank and was able to shatter it immediately, using the directional speaker around his neck to aim the volume. This would naturally require for him to hit even higher decibels, specially when you take into consideration that one's frequency must match the glass' for it to vibrate, which drastically increases when it's dampened. (Read next topic for more info on this)
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And then there's his glasses which, like I've stated before, are the most common thing he breaks with his voice. Obviously, this is not directed and it's not a total shatter, but there is something to be observed; say, did you know the necessary volume for lenses to crack, when not being directly aimed at, would be that of a nearby shot from a highcaliber gun? That's roughly 140-170 decibels.
Harm factor
Boy, oh boy! I'm betting most of you were looking for this part when you clicked the read more, right? Look no further, I've got you covered, you just better remember what I mentioned before about distance and duration.
Hizashi's parents were unfortunate enough to have a mutant child that was born with his quirk already active, and I'm willing to bet a newborn doesn't have the slightest bit of control over a power as destructive as a sonic-powered voice, which immediately resulted in everyone in the room bleeding from the ears.
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Sound-related ear bleeding is most commonly associated with a ruptured eardrum, which can happen at around 150 decibels and is about the same as a jet engine taking off. While a baby most likely unleashed his maximum voice power on the first breath, I believe something like that would, thankfully, only develop fully after puberty, just like with non-powered people like us, since his quirk is a drastic intensification of a common function and not a new ability altogether.
With that being said... The Finals Exam.
In this, Hizashi was standing very far and, even with the directional speakers, there were many obstacles in the way that kept him from landing direct soundwaves on the students. Regardless, Jirou's ears bled in less than 30 minutes being exposed to this.
This could have happened due to the fact that she has a hearing quirk, which would make hers much more sensitive, but let's study this, shall we? We don't have the exacts of what happened there, but the students are visibly uncomfortable upon the first soundwave, which would suggest it was at about 120 decibels upon impact (with 85 already being enough to cause damage to your ears) and being emitted even higher by him, considering distance muffles volume. Still, I think all that would be nothing compared to the scream he let out after those bugs started crawling on him, with how unfiltered that was.
With Jirou, it comes to no surprise this volume at this distance and time almost rendered her deaf, and realistically would take several months of healing time. How much do you want to bet Hizashi got a solid scolding from Shouta? I mean, it was supposed to be a challenge, but homeboy came this close to breaking her quirk.
Another thing I want to point out is that his voice is powerful enough to actually fucking launch people, and this only happens due to an event called acoustic trauma, basically meaning Hizashi can surpass supersonic levels. Although, it's important to note that this effect is caused mostly due to pressure and not so much as sound, so while it's not freakishly loud (about the same as thunder), it can still cause hearing and psychological damage.
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! WARNING !
The following part contains graphic mentions of injury, and death. Do not proceed if these are sensitive topics for you.
Now, we look at the disturbing side of Hizashi's quirk. Buckle in, because it's a wild ride.
Remember what I commented earlier, about him having to hit even higher frequencies to be able to shatter Shigaraki's tank? First of all, as the doctor was sent flying, this qualifies as supersonic, but that's not all. To shatter such a protected tank, with liquid inside increasing the density, he'd have to hit over 200 decibels; which is considered extremely dangerous and most definitely fatal, as the threshold of pain is of 115-140 - this can cause damage such as crushed ear bones, ruptured lungs, or embolism. For comparison, this would come close to standing right next to a Saturn V Moon Rocket during launch, and is no longer considered a "sound" due to the vacuum.
With that being said, the man came very close to dying by Hizashi's hands (voice?) twice. Not only was he so close during the lens incident, literally being inches away from his face and in risk of getting his eardrums ruptured already, but if Mic had decided to raise his voice even more during his rage, it'd be possible for the frequency to make the doctor's inner organs malfunction, or straight-up burst from the pressure.
But that's not the worst part.
After establishing that the lethal amount of over 200 decibels would be necessary to shatter the tank given the circumstances, if he exceeded 240 and the doctor happened to be in the way of this, it would be enough to cause his head to explode upon impact. That old man better be grateful that he was standing a feet few away, and that the supersonic blast blew him away a bit more, or it'd be an immediate game over.
With all this being said, how devastating would it be for this guy to scream his rage out?
(Please keep in mind that many of the extreme cases in this are actually impossible to happen in a real-life scenario and are purely speculation!)
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lsd-astronaut · 4 months ago
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Random headcanons of the fellowship bc I'm bored (mix of modern & canon)
✨Frodo
Scares the shit out of people by staring them directly in the eye without blinking but if you looked inside his mind, it'd be a rotating PNG of a fish, he just dissociates a lot
Would absolutely steal stuff in Claire's. He's really good at it.
Doesn't smoke, yet he is the one who gets asked the most out of the four hobbits for a light.
He strikes me as a stomach problems & back pain girlie.
🌻Sam
He looks like a bread guy for me. I like bread.
Full on conversations with his plants. Mainly gossip about the Shire, and how dashing Mister Frodo was looking today, can you believe it?
The only hobbit with a driving license (Frodo can't bc of depression and dissociation; Merry got pulled over and got his license revoked for having weed in his car; Pippin is a minor).
🍁Merry
You know these videos where a girl (usually) records her partner while they're cuddling and he's so whiny and talking like a princess, and suddenly he sees the phone and forces his voice like three octaves lower? Yeah...
Narrates everything that everyone in the fellowship does during the journey like it's a nature documentary. Stopped pretty quickly after Moria.
The Walter White of Middle Earth if he could get away with it, let's be honest.
🌱Pippin
Had a phase where he ate anything he saw. Mainly stopped after Merry made him cry by teasing him that if he kept eating ants, they would eat him from inside out. He still munches on flowers when he's bored. Aragorn has given up on telling him to be careful in case one is poisonous, but Boromir suffers mini heart attacks daily.
Accidentally mansplains to everyone he knows but that's because he gets very excited with his hyperfixations! He has no idea why he doesn't have any luck in love, and Merry is like "dude shut the fuck up..."
Is like these children who will constantly ask "why" to their parents, and Boromir tries to be nice and genuine for him but he eventually gets tired. "But, why?" "Because I fucking said so!" "Okay... but why?"
I feel like he cries pretty easily about everything and anything. He is just very sensitive, and feels emotions really strongly.
🗡️Aragorn
Hates parties; when he is forced to attend one, he will sit in one corner and sip on his drink. Gets really drunk and texts Arwen. "How was the party, meleth nín?" "Me, yes."
Hyperfixates on the weirdest things like Pippin, but his autism shows in the most deadpan way possible so he just stands there like "i like swords" and will emotionlessly list you all the characteristics of your weapon of choice. If you looked inside his mind, you'd see he is REALLY excited. He just doesn't know how to show it.
🏹Legolas
For some reason, I feel like he'd know a super random skill? Like ventriloquism. Recreates the "hi my name is snapple" video with Gimli just to fuck with him.
Can actually whistle with a leaf, idk how he does this, but it's the only 'instrument' he can play (apart from his voice if you want to get nitpicky with me) lol this elf does not have a single musical bone.
⛏️Gimli
Crystal girlie. Gives Frodo an encyclopaedia on all the types of healing properties and characteristics of every kind of gem and stone.
Really good medical skills. The rest of the fellowship regularly forget his uncle is Oín, so they're dumbfounded when Gimli gives advice to Aragorn, who is the only one that isn't surprised and actually listens to him when patching up Frodo lmfao
🛡️Boromir
Talks like someone out of a Shakespeare play and is dumbfounded when everyone in the fellowship is like "sup bro"
Keeps a heart locket with a picture of Faramir he likes to show like a proud dad does with his kids' wallet photos. Faramir was horrified when he learned of this and stopped talking to him for a month
Took to the hobbits like a dad who says he doesn't want a dog and then they're inseparable. Says he doesn't have favourites but Merry and Pippin remind him of Faramir and him when they were kids.
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too-deviant · 1 year ago
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jackie and wilson.
previous | next series masterlist
summary: you haven’t been given a quest, but you have made it your personal mission to make luke castellan smile.
pairing: luke castellan x unclaimed!reader
word count: 4.1k
content: broody!luke, teenage dirtbag!luke but also not really, sprinkles of mean!luke, r is unbothered and does not gaf about his lil emo boy act, this is four thousand words of r being a pain in luke’s ass, probs will make a part 2 bc i love them your honour 
notes:  speaking my truth: i am a british gal. any banter in this about the new england states is entirely stuff i got from reddit so plz don’t scrutinise my american states knowledge
the layout of this fic is very much inspired by @murdrdocs if that wasn’t obvious but also icarus if u want me to change it i will jus say the word :00
PART I — she blows outta nowhere, roman candle of the wild 
All things considered, you took the news of your heritage pretty well. 
Sure, there was a lot of yelling — mostly through the wall after you locked yourself in your room and started packing a bag — but at least you didn’t sit on it in denial for several hours. 
Honestly, you should’ve seen it coming. 
The first time you realised you could see things nobody else could, you tried to admit yourself into a ward. Your mom went a little panicky, and she never did perform well under pressure, so she caved and said you were special. Too special for the other kids at your school, too special for anyone to know about it. 
After that, she got more tense. Eyes darting around whenever you guys went out in public, hand lingering for a second longer on your back before she sent you to school — as if she felt like she’d never see you again. She would stay up at night and read you old Greek tales before you went to sleep, and acted way too serious about it. More serious than when she would read you Dr Seuss. 
Honestly, it was a miracle you went unknowing for so long. Maybe you were insignificant, or maybe the Stymphalian Pigeon that tried to kill you after school was just slow — because you were seventeen when you got attacked by your first monster. 
You took it out pretty easily — and by that, I mean you outran it through the bustling streets of your hometown until it flew messily into a bus and you dodged your way to your apartment in a flurry. Your mom’s resolve cracked like a thin layer of ice and you were packed and ready to go to this camp she spoke of before the clock had hit four-thirty. 
Most of the yelling that you guys did was along the lines of — “I can’t believe you waited this long to tell me!” — and — “I didn’t want you to leave!” — “I get that, but seriously mom, I almost got eaten by a bird today. A little context going in would’ve been nice!”
You threw yourself into a taxi — much to the disdain of your mother, who insisted on at least getting you to the hill. You then reminded her that she would have to pay the fare all the way back to their apartment and it honestly wouldn’t be worth it and that you’d call her when you got the chance. She let you go with a huff, folding her arms across her chest and creasing the silky material of her pink blouse. 
The next hour was about as awkward as taxi rides go, even more so when you got out in the middle of nowhere. You weren’t even sure you were at the bottom of the right hill but sent the poor guy on his way anyway and prayed to whoever your divine parent was that you weren’t about to get gunned down by an angry farmer for mistaking his land for a summer camp. 
Thankfully, the empty fields shimmered into something worth travelling for when you took a tentative step across its threshold. The sun seemed to get brighter and the breeze became softer. It was nice from where you stood, and it probably would’ve gotten nicer the closer you got. 
Had you not tripped over a rock and tumbled down the hill ungracefully, landing in a heap at the bottom, a few feet away from a dirt path that split off in two directions. You sat up with a huff, blowing your hair out of your eyes and squinting at your surroundings now that they were much closer. You didn’t bother to heave yourself up, catching your breath and letting your gaze flitter over the scenery. 
It was cute. 
Then the distinct sound of horse hooves clipping against the ground evaded your ears, and you looked up to greet the centaur who now stood above you. You thanked the gods for your moms intricately detailed bedtime stories as you pulled yourself up onto your feet and allowed yourself to be introduced to Chiron and Mr. D, who then led you to the four story house that overlooked the valley. 
Your induction was swift and sweet — since you pretty much knew and had accepted everything already. There were a couple of glances and muttered comments about how you had gone so long without being targeted, but Chiron had said he wanted you to get the tour before dinner so you could settle straight to bed after the campfire, and caught some young kid by the t-shirt as he ran past, asking him politely if he could send Luke over. 
The awkward two minutes it took for your tour guide to reach you stretched on for a painful amount of time, but you would relive it a hundred times over if it meant you didn’t have to experience the agony you called your first meeting with Luke Castellan. 
He was tall, with a dark mop of curls that hung over his furrowed brows. His skin was tanned from all the time he spent in the sun, and his shoulders were broad enough to intimidate, but not broad enough that you were intimidated. He was your age, seemingly, and the cuffs of his green cargo pants brushed against his ankles only an inch higher than they would sit on an average person.
His most memorable feature, however, had to be the deep scar that stretched from the top of his left brow all the way to his cheekbone — it was jagged and sharp, cutting across his eye roughly, as if he had been clawed. He probably had. It was raised and shone pink under the sun, so you could tell it was fairly new, but it had healed over enough to indicate that Luke was probably tired of hearing people ask about it. So you didn’t. You barely gave it a glance before you raised your brows at him with a cheeky grin and gave him your name. 
He nodded minutely, one of the only movements he made after he’d parked himself in front of you other than the sliding of his eyes from one person to another as they spoke to him. After Chiron and Mr D had given him the rundown, he gave a slight nod of his head in one direction before walking away and expecting you to follow. 
You caught up to him, sidling up on his left with a huff and a smile, “I’m getting the feeling that you're sorta sick of this giving this tour all the time.” 
He didn’t respond. He just looked at you, and then stopped walking, watching as you froze two steps ahead of him before shuffling back to his side sheepishly. Then he lifted an unbothered hand to the right, “Those are the strawberry fields.” He then gestured ahead, “That’s the beach.” And then to the left, “Those are the training fields.”
Then he started walking again, and you hesitated for only a second before following, “Wow. Don’t give me too much information all at once.” 
Your sarcastic comment was ignored, and Luke nodded towards the bank of cabins you were nearing, “These are the cabins. Twelve. One for each Olympian. You’ll stay in the Hermes cabin until you’re claimed.”
“Right.” You nodded, “God of Travellers. Makes sense.” 
He let out a breath, not pausing in his stride as he passed through the curve of houses, not sparing a glance to any of them. You took notice of how the other kids looked at him in apprehension, with a hint of fear when he got too close. He cut down an alley between two cabins — one with a dangerous amount of barbed wire across the top and another that glowed gold under the sunlight — before the pair emerged through the trees at a pavilion. 
“This is where we eat.” He said. “Dinner is soon.” 
“Cool.” You nodded, “What are the options? Because if food here is lacking, then I will be packing.” 
You let out a useless chuckle at your own joke, but it landed flat. “Yeah, that wasn’t funny.” You muttered lowly. With a click of your tongue, you glanced over the horizon and pointed at something from afar. A tall structure that stuck out the tops of the trees, “What’s that?”
“The climbing wall.” Luke answered plainly. 
“And that?” 
“The Amphitheatre.”
You looked up at him, pulling a face he didn’t bother to glance at. Then you noticed a bunch of campers filing through the trees and into the pavilion the two of you stood at the edge of. They entered in groups and made their way to their designated tables, chattering and gossiping as they did. 
You looked at Luke, “Well, that was…great. Truly, a riveting experience. I will say, though — your delivery needs some work. The dark and gloomy act works most of the time, but not when you’re giving a guided tour.”
That got him to look at you, and you held back your triumphant smirk. He frowned, “What?”
You shrugged, “I’m just saying, nobody is going to listen to you talk about this place if you describe it like this.” You lowered your tone into a subpar impression of his voice, and you swore you saw his brows twitch. Clearing your throat, you waved a hand, “No need to worry about that now, though. Just point me in the direction of the Hermes table and I’ll be out of your strangely well-conditioned hair.”
Another eyebrow twitch. You were getting the hang of this. Maybe one day you could get him to move other parts of his face! 
You half expected the boy to ignore you and walk off — and he did. But it was in the direction of the Hermes table, so you counted it as him showing you the way. Most of the campers were seated by the time you’d arrived, and you were thus forced to sit yourself on the end of the bench, uncomfortably beside him. He was unbothered. 
During dinner you were swiftly introduced to some of your peers — Chris Rodriguez gave you a lopsided grin and informed you politely that you would need to sacrifice some of your food before you got stuck into it. Travis and Connor Stoll sidled up on either side of you as you grumbled at the hearth, and yapped your ear off about the fundamentals of camp. 
(So all the sneaky stuff Chiron doesn’t know about. Like how you can skip out on archery training if Lee is the one running it because he never has it in him to snitch. Or that the pegasi stables were the go-to hook up spot for summer campers, but the back of the Amphitheater was the go-to hook up spot for the year-rounders. When you asked what the difference was, they winked, and when you asked what happened if a year-rounder hooked up with a summer camper, they chuckled and walked off.)
Chiron gave you an introduction that made you feel like a new kid being asked to tell the class one fun fact about yourself, and around six kids at your table asked if it hurt when you fell down the hill. 
Overall, a good first night. As far as first nights at a summer camp for half-gods goes. By the time all the campers had gone back to their respective cabins, you were ready to turn in and clock out for the day. 
But you wanted to try one more time. Last attempt, and then you’d let it go. 
When Luke — who you had discovered earlier was the counsellor of the Hermes cabin, and apparently a role model for the kids — came over and silently handed you a folded orange shirt with a leather cord sitting on top of it, you smirked. 
“Hey, now we can match. How cute.” 
He blinked at you, “Everyone is wearing the same thing.”
“The same shirts, you mean.” You tilted your head, “But we’re both wearing green cargos. And white socks. White sneakers.” Your grin widened as you watched his eyes flit down your form, taking in the outfit you had on. You were right — the only difference between you two was the white tank top you had on, soon to be replaced by the shirt he had just handed to you. You thought for a moment that it would work, that he would make a face, or say more than two sentences to you in response. 
But he didn’t. He just huffed and walked away, and you watched with an appalled expression. You narrowed your eyes. 
Okay, so maybe you weren’t ready to let it go yet. 
The next morning, you were rudely awakened by a small child who was sprawled across your torso, having shifted from his own sleeping bag that was beside yours. He couldn’t have been any older than six, his orange camp shirt sitting like a dress on him, and if he wasn’t snoring into your chest, you would’ve thought he was adorable. 
But you really needed to pee. 
After you slowly but surely lifted him back onto his own pillow, you stood up with a stretch and stepped precariously over the other kids, balancing carefully on the tips of your toes so you didn’t step on any of them. The sun was barely rising, and you were the only one awake, so you held your breath and reached out for the handle of the bathroom door. 
“That’s not your bathroom.”
You flinched, losing your balance and toppling back. A hand between your shoulder blades prevented you from crushing any of the kids on the floor, and you steadied yourself before meeting the eyes of the person who spoke. 
Luke was staring intently at you, his eyes blinking hard as if he’d only just woken up. He was in nothing but a pair of blue sweat-shorts and you fought the urge to rake your eyes over his bare torso, watching as he lowered his hand back to his side, “That’s the counsellor's bathroom.”
“Right.” Came a low mutter, under your breath. Then louder, you asked, “Well, where is the campers bathroom?”
“Outside.” He answered, “Around the back of the cabins.”
“Out—“ You started, and then realised everyone else was asleep and swiftly lowered your volume, but kept your expression exaggerated. Wide eyes, furrowed brows. “Outside?”
“Yes.”
“But…it’s cold out there.”
“We have a controlled climate.” He said, folding his arms across his chest. His biceps tensed, “It’s never cold.”
You let out a sigh, throwing your thumb over your shoulder and pointing at the door, “Can’t I just use this one? You aren’t using it, and everyone else is asleep, they’d never know!” 
He stared at you blankly and stayed silent for a long time. You wouldn’t be surprised if he just never said anything until you walked away, which you were well prepared to do, letting out a deep breath and folding your own arms over to preserve heat as you clambered towards the front door, muttering complaints under your breath the whole time. You made it three feet (or two sleeping bags) away from him when he finally piped up. 
“Be quick.” 
Turning around, Luke was already making his way back to his own bed, and you ogled shamelessly at his back muscles as you shuffled to his bathroom and made your way inside. You did your business quickly as requested and washed your hands under the low pressure of the sink before cracking the door open once more. The cabin was the same, everyone else still sleeping calmly. Luke was standing by his bunk, now clad in black shorts and his camp shirt. He paid you no mind when you padded back to your sleeping bag, grabbing your bag and stifling through the clothes you had packed. 
You walked up to breakfast with the unclaimed girl you had met the previous night — Lana — and listened and she told you intently about the lore of Luke Castellan. 
“He never used to be the way he is. He was happier before, always grinning. More than ready to help anyone here. He was…well, everyone either wanted to be with him or be him.”
“And then what happened?”
“He went on a quest. It went wrong. He came back with that ugly scar and he hasn’t been the same since.”
You made a comment that the scar wasn’t ugly, and if you didn’t know any better, you’d add on that it made him look pretty hot. But you did know better, and you knew that Luke was three people ahead of you in the line and could probably hear what you were saying. So you kept that tidbit to yourself and ate your cereal in silence. 
When breakfast was over, you stood from the bench and turned, only to stop short when you realised Luke was standing behind you. Looking up at him, you raised a brow, “Yes?”
“I’m showing you around today.”
“You showed me around yesterday.”
His lips tightened, “We’re actually doing stuff today. Seeing what you’re good at.”
“Oh.” You ran your tongue over your teeth and nodded, “Well, where do we start?”
“Archery.” 
Turns out, you were pretty awful at archery. Even after you’d stopped firing arrows into the treeline, you still never hit the middle of the target. Lee had to correct your posture four times, and you broke six arrows. Eventually, you decided that Apollo was not your father, and shuffled over to where Luke stood beneath the shade of a tree — where he had been standing the whole hour. 
“Y’know, just because you’ve got this broody bad boy thing going on, doesn’t mean you have to linger in the shadows all the time.” You commented, picking at your fingernails and readjusting the long sleeve you wore under your camp shirt, “You just look weird.” 
Luke pointed at your cheekbone, “You’re bleeding.” 
You huffed, “I know.” You kept holding your bow too close to the side of your face and the feathers of the arrows kept scratching you whenever you let them fly. Lee mentioned how most people make that mistake the first time round, but you’d done it so much that he’d cut your lesson short and told you to get a bandaid from one of his siblings. You didn’t. 
He stared at your cut for a moment, like he was thinking hard about something. But he didn’t, and pushed himself off the tree he was leaning against and brushed past you, “Let’s go to the forges.”
You were better at blacksmithing than you were at archery, but the sword Charles Beckendorf was helping you weld still came out wonky and discoloured. He was a nice kid, funny, and your lowered spirits from your previous task had been quickly uplifted despite you not having much skill in his department. He let you keep the sword anyway, and you swung it jokingly at Luke as he led you to the Amphitheater. 
You made swooshing noises as you did so, chuckling when he didn’t so much as flinch, “Don’t act so tough, Castellan, I could take you out even with a dodgy sword.”
“You couldn’t.” He muttered, “I’m the best sword fighter here.”
You let out an over dramatic gasp, running ahead and swivelling around so you could meet his eyes, “Holy shit, was that…did you just…tell me something about yourself?” You grinned and his frown deepened, “Aw, Luke. We’re getting somewhere! This is amazing, I’m so proud. Soon enough we’ll be best frien — “
Before you could finish your incessant teasing, Luke grabbed your forearm and yanked you in front of him just as a kid on an out-of-control Pegasus toppled past you. You watched him disappear in mild shock, before looking back at the boy in front of you, “Hey, thanks. Almost got trampled. How embarrassing.”
He narrowed his gaze, “Do you not take anything seriously?”
You shrugged, “Not really. I’d ask you the same question, but…” You made a face. It was obvious that he was very serious, even if he never used to be. 
“Let’s go.” Was his boring response, moving swiftly past you and into the Amphitheatre so quickly you would’ve assumed he was trying to get away from you. (Which he definitely was).
You weren’t really all that bothered, not when you were having so much fun pissing him off. 
It took all of ten minutes for Luke to put your sword fighting lesson to an end. Not only had you insisted on fighting with the wonky sword rather than a working training one, you also kept pushing him with your hands whenever he got too close. 
“That’s not how you’re supposed to do it.”
“Hey, it’s working, isn’t it?” 
You were pretty shit at it anyway, so you didn’t fight him when he said you were cutting your lesson short. You simply tucked your weapon onto the sheath he’d handed you and followed him down the hill to the dining pavilion. 
“So, where are you from?”
He didn’t answer you for a couple of minutes, something you’d been well prepared for. But you couldn’t help but ask — he intrigued you. A little too much, maybe. 
You continued, “Because you seem like a Mass guy.”
Luke stopped in his tracks, turning to you, “Mass…achusetts?”
“Yeah.” You nodded, fighting off your amused smile when he pulled a face. Finally, an expression!
Truth was, Lana had told you he was from Connecticut. You just wanted to see how he’d react, if he would react at all — apparently he isn’t immune to everything. 
“I’m from CT.” He made it very clear, and you tried your hardest not to laugh. “Okay? I'm not some Boston Masshole, got it?”
You raised your hands in surrender, “Got it.” 
He stared at you for a second longer, as if to ensure you really did have it. Squinting at your amused smile before nodding and continuing his walk. You thought it would go back to silence, but apparently you’d lit a fuse. 
“I mean, what makes you think I'm from MA?” He asked, his tone of voice so appalled you’d think he’d been accused of some sort of crime. “Do I smell like shit?”
A chuckle, “What?”
But he just whirled on you once more, lifting his arm and gesturing to his pit, “Do I? Do I stink of shit?” 
You didn’t feel like sniffing him, so you just shook your head, still laughing, “No.” 
“Then what — ?” He stopped, narrowed his eyes, “Where are you from?”
You tried to hide your smile, but it was getting really difficult. The last two days he’d been nothing but broody and miserable, one word quips being his only form of communication other than dark frowns. But one mention of Mass and he’s suddenly down to chit chat? You couldn’t help but laugh — unfortunately, it only spurred him on. 
“You think this is funny?” He scoffed, nodding, “Yeah, bet you’re from Maine too.”
Your laughter continued, little giggles spilling out of you whenever you thought about the situation too hard. You shrugged, “I don’t think I wanna tell you after this.”
Luke nodded like he was expecting you to say that, “Something a Mainer would say, I’m sure.”
You grinned wide, very proud of yourself for getting a visceral reaction out of the boy — even if you had to piss him off to do it. Just as you went to reply with a witty comeback that would have him ranting and raving for the rest of the night, the dinner conch sounded, interrupting what you’re sure would’ve been a very entertaining conversation. 
You walked on past him, not stopping, but slowing down so you could cough into your fist, “Flatlander.”
You didn’t look back but you did hear him scoff in shock, and you were sure he stood there frozen for at least twenty seconds because he entered the pavilion way later than you did. He made a point to fix you with an annoyed stare as he sat down a few people away from you — and Chris raised a brow. 
“What’d you do to him?”
You shrugged, digging into your mashed potatoes before anyone could tell you to wait until you’d made your offering, “Told him he looked like a Bay Stater.”
He chuckled, wincing under his breath and shaking his head, “You’re evil. I like it.”
You smirked and said nothing — but whenever your eyes flickered over to Luke, his were just flickering away from you.
931 notes · View notes
petersasteria · 4 months ago
Text
Shadow - G Dragon/Kwon Ji-yong
Pairing: older sibling!GD x younger sibling!fem!reader Summary: growing up, jiyong always felt that he was just your shadow; the insignificant sibling. now that he's a global star, he never fails to remind you that you're now his shadow. WC: 2253
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Ever since 11-year old Jiyong found out that his mother was pregnant, he knew he'd resent you for the rest of his life. He was used to being the baby of the family and he loved it. He basked in the attention of his elders, even though his cheeks hurt from all the pinching. He adored being adored.
His disappointment became more obvious when everyone found out that his parents were having a girl. Everyone was ecstatic, except for Jiyong. Instead, he locked himself in his room and listened to his favorite music to drown out everyone's joy. You weren't even born yet and you were already loved and he hated it.
He was 12 years old when you were born and the second he glanced at you, he made a face of disgust. "That's her? She looks like a naked mole rat." Jiyong snickered before leaving the hospital room.
No one paid him any mind because they knew it was hard for him. After all, he'd been the baby of the family for eleven years. They knew that one day, he'd accept you.
They were wrong.
Annual family reunions were a tradition in your family and Jiyong looked forward to it every year. He'd show his cousins new stuff he got, he'd let them listen to new music he discovered, he'd dance in front of the whole family and he'd get praised, and he'd bask in it every time.
Ever since you were born, that changed. No one asked about him anymore. It was like he was pushed to the side. He felt like a benchwarmer and it angered him. He had to remind himself to work harder in becoming an idol if he wanted to get out of your shadow.
When Jiyong debuted with BigBang, you were 6 years old. You adored him very much. Before he debuted, you would always see him dancing and writing songs. You would always stand outside his room and open the door a little just to catch a glimpse of him. To you, he was a hero. To him, you were a nuisance. After every impromptu dance in his room, you'd always clap. He'd turn around with a scowl on his face and he'd always say, "Get out, mole rat! Can't you see I'm busy?! Go bother mom or something." Then he'd lock the door.
Every time you came home from school, you'd immediately run to him and show him the pictures you drew and you'd tell him about your day. To you, he was your best friend. You'd follow him around the house while he'd do everything to get away from you. He never reciprocated, though. You didn't care. You were just so happy to see him and you were just happy to hang out with your cool older brother.
You were so happy seeing your older brother on tv. It was the highlight of your day and you always bragged about him to your classmates. You'd show them family pictures and you'd always present his photo for every show and tell. Your classmates thought you were insufferable, but they never said anything.
As both of you grew older, he'd become harsher towards you. At that point, he was a young adult and you were just a teen, trying to figure things out. Like Jiyong, you wanted to be an idol too. Ever since he found out, his words became daggers.
"Stop looking like a mole rat if you want to be an idol. You won't get signed anywhere."
"Nice outfit, but you don't have the face for it."
"If I were you, I'd stop trying."
"You'd be such an annoying idol."
"You're wasting your time trying to be someone you're clearly not."
"You can never be as great as me. I'm G Dragon, bitch. Who's gonna remember someone who's as insignificant as you? You're just my shadow."
His jabs were very hurtful, but you used them all as motivation to do better and you really did improve. Soon, you debuted as a solo artist. Since your brother's a force to be reckoned with in the industry, he made sure that no one knew you were related. He also made sure to stay away from you. The night you debuted, he said, "I'm not your brother and you're not my sister. We're not related. Stay out of my way and I'll stay out of yours."
Since then, you haven't interacted as artists. If you went home for the holidays, he'd either arrive a week early or a week after you. You couldn't even post family pictures because he was in it.
Being an idol has its ups and downs. You were known as the party girl. You'd party every chance you got. You'd get blackout drunk. Many of your idol friends would describe you as a party animal. In fact, embarrassing pictures of a drunk version of you is all over the internet. As if that wasn't enough, you were also known to hop from one relationship to another. Every time it gets serious, you just leave.
You were a great artist, but you have a reputation of being messed up. Of course, all of this reached Jiyong. The next time you saw each other, he said, "I knew you were an embarrassment even before you were born. I'm glad I don't associate with you."
-
You felt your life falling apart. Admittedly, you were so depressed because of your brother. You only wanted him to like you. You didn't even know what you did for him to hate you so much. As if that wasn't enough, somehow, everyone found out that you and THE G Dragon were siblings. When you saw it, panic immediately consumed you. You didn't know what to do. You knew Jiyong well enough to know that he'd think it was your fault.
On his end, he threw his phone across the room. Instead of getting asked about his current album, he'd get asked about you instead and he didn't like it already. He got up from his bed and picked up his phone and called you.
"He-"
"Shut the fuck up right now." He seethed. "How could you do this to me?! You knew I just came back with an album and then you pull this shit?! Attention seeker much? If you're so thirsty for attention, go to a bar and get so wasted that your topless photos go viral again. That's what you're good at, right? Stick with it."
"I didn't leak anything, I swear! You know I would never do anything to sabotage you. You're my brother, Ji." You choked out, hot tears streaming down your face. "I didn't do or say anything. I promise I didn't."
"Bullshit." He scoffed. "Just say that you're jealous of me."
"Why would I be jealous of you? You know I support you all the way. Your success is yours and my success is mine. We're different artists." You stammered.
"You're jealous because after all those years of you getting everyone's attention, you're not used to being ignored. You're not used to not being loved. Go back to the bars and clubs. Go back to drinking and getting blackout drunk. Go back to messing up your career and image. Go back to being wild and crazy. You're never going to change, Y/N. Stay in your lane and stick to what you know best. Fix this." He hung up.
You cried and stayed in bed for hours until your manager had to help you get up. She knew you weren't fine, but she didn't push you to tell her anything. She was an angel.
"Y/N..." She said softly. "Y/N, you have a concert in LA next month. Are you sure you're okay doing this?"
You nodded, "Can we leave for LA earlier? I really don't want to be here right now."
Of course Jiyong found out that you left the country instead of fixing the "mess you left". He thought, if you weren't going to say anything, then he wasn't going to say anything. To his surprise, everyone seemed to easily accept the fact that you were siblings. Everyday, he kept seeing comments on his Instagram post about being similar.
"how didn't we all see their similarities?! they literally have the same face shape, same nose, and same smile!!"
"can't believe the kwon siblings are wild in their own right (in a fun way) bc y/n's a wild party girl and... we all heard jiyong's album"
"i remember that one interview of y/n where she said her biggest inspiration is gd and all of us thought it's nothing new bc gd is literally the idol of idols and with this new info, we can all say that it's really sweet of her to say that her biggest inspo is gd and it also makes sense bc that's her brother!!"
"in some angles, they look like twins! 🥹"
He didn't know what it was, but he suddenly had the urge to search you up on Google. Yes, as much as he hated it, you were related. However, he didn't know anything about you. He never bothered to. Now that everyone knows, he figured to at least find out who you are as an artist.
He watched every single interview you were in and he found out a lot of things about you. He even called your mom to confirm if the things you said were true. He lightly chuckled whenever you'd say a witty comeback and his heart warmed when you showed an old picture of you and him. His face was covered with a small piece of paper and you were smiling widely. His heart ached when you told the interviewer why it was your favorite childhood photo.
"It's my favorite photo because captured my relationship with my brother perfectly. I'd remove the piece of paper, but... I don't want to compromise his safety and privacy." You said softly with a sad smile. "My brother's older than me and I really look up to him. He's so cool. I just wanted to be as cool as him and I know I can never be that cool. I would always watch him dance and I remember how mesmerized I was."
Jiyong didn't know how to feel. He watched a few more videos and he learned that you kept tabs on him. He scrolled through your Instagram and he saw that you keep using his music whenever you'd post pictures. You were his biggest fan.
Meanwhile, you were preparing for your concert in LA. You decided to switch up your setlist and your manager approved. As a little treat to your American fans, you were going to do a cover of Miley Cyrus' song, 'Used to be Young'. You were really feeling that song at the moment and you had a little self-reflection: if Jiyong still didn't like you, it's time to take another road and just ignore him.
Towards the end of your concert, you decided to do the surprise song. "I have a little treat for you, guys. I have a surprise cover song!" You enthusiastically said and they screamed again. "I'm so obsessed with this song, I swear." You smiled and the intro played.
"~The truth is bulletproof, there's no foolin' you, I don't dress the same. Me and who you say I was yesterday have gone our separate ways. Left my livin' fast somewhere in the past 'cause that's for chasin' cars. Turns out open bars lead to broken hearts and goin' way too far.~" You sang beautifully as a slideshow of your old pictures played on the screen behind you. It was all your pictures from your most embarrassing point in life, but you didn't regret a single thing about it.
The song made you emotional, but you just kept singing. Your fans sang along too and it made you smile hearing them sing along. You knew this cover is being filmed to be posted on your YouTube channel, so you looked directly at the camera as you sang the last chorus.
"~I know I used to be crazy; messed up, but god, was it fun. I know I used to be wild that's 'cause I used to be young. Those wasted night are not wasted, I remember every one. I know I used to be crazy that's 'cause I used to be young. You tell me has done changed me, that's fine, I had a good run. I know I used to be crazy that's 'cause I used to be young.~" Tears streamed down your face when you finished the song.
Your cover instantly went viral after you posted it on YouTube and Jiyong watched the whole thing and he saw how emotional you were and how the song related to your relationship. Flashbacks of his hurtful words suddenly haunted him and all of a sudden, he wasn't watching his 20-something year old sister. He was watching 6-year old you; the one he would kick out of his room because you were watching him dance. He was watching 6-year old you; the one who'd show him pictures you drew with cheap crayons. Somehow, that made him emotional.
He watched as you sang the last chorus. He felt as if you were looking straight at him; like it was a direct message from you to him. When the song was over, he was crying. He didn't know what was happening, but he was sure of one thing: something shifted.
-
A/N: hope you guys liked it! <3 lmk if u want part 2
permanent taglist: @redhoodedtoad @billiesiousji @hayd3n8 @sherrayyyyy @nbjch05
jiyong taglist: @loveesiren
buy me a coffee?
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kaszuma · 1 year ago
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Aera Perennius | Hoshina Soshiro
Part 7 of “Certainly Yours”
pairing: Hoshina Soshiro x fem!reader
summary: soshiro was never one to raise his voice at anyone. But the one time he did, it was because he almost lost you for good.
warnings: Slight Kn8 Manga Spoilers, Description of Pain / Injuries / Hospitalizations, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Arguments, Cursing, Slight mention of self-harm
wc: 9,793
note: I finiahed it earlier than anticipated so here you go-- I had such a difficult time writing this because I've been so busy. There were so many changes and the original draft had been scrapped so many times that it almost made me want to give up and start over. But lucky I didn't or I would've not updated in time. So, yay!
English is hard haha and sometimes it hates me and just doesn't make sense when I read it in my mind versus when I read it outloud. Anyways I will be doing slower updates, so no definitive dates nor titles for the next parts yet. But Part 8 and 9 will be back-to-back spicy NSFW stuff (courtesy of reaching 200 Followers. Thank you lots by the way), So stay tuned!! This is not proofread. So if I missed any warnings feel free to tell me. 🫶
Sleep had come naturally to you.
The sound of rapid footsteps and muffled yelling had all but faded into the distance as mere whispers against your ears.
Such rapidness did not seem to fit the silence of what had initially surrounded you. The sudden weight of your own body being dragged left and right until your vision blurs. The stark darkness of city skylines transformed into the unnatural shine of the hospital's fluorescent lights; one that made it hard to pick people's silhouettes apart.
And as such, it reminds you of the distant past.
One that was filled with vast open fields, very unlike the corporate labs you had been accustomed with. A stark contrast to the very corners of Japan, in the countryside where your grandparents had established a simple life for themselves. Filled to the brim with rice crops and summer cicadas.
And it makes you reminisce about the short time you'd spend there. On the cool nights after your summer school days would inevitably end. And you'd be dragged to a summer house where cousins and relatives had doted on you.
Such a homeward bound place was a far cry to the bustling streets of Tokyo's Eastern divisions. Which had often been endowed with the familiar cries of loud music and the steady rumbles of heavy railways underneath you.
One that Kaiju had lamented no peace from.
Even in the midst of high-story buildings where your workplace had boasted the use of sound proof walls. The cityscapes nearest Izumo Tech Corporation could not even be muzzled by its titanium doors, of which Japan's Top Secret Bioweapons had been kept. Schematics and all.
You had grown used to such a taciturn work environment.
Your existence is thrown into the small bubble of your private lab. Segregated from your coworker who valued work over social relations. And you had been much the same.
You and the rest of the technicians were far too focused on your projects. Tinkering away at the prototype suits that the company had sent your way. A partnership between your parent company and Japan’s Defense Force. A task of which you and a few others had been selected to create and maintain.
And how lucky you had been, to land yourself a snug spot in the notoriety of the Third Division's wake. The very same division that had boasted the least amount of casualties in the case of a large-scale Kaiju attack.
The very same division where Mina Ashiro had led and mounted into victory.
And you'd consider yourself lucky to have known such an amazing person in this lifetime.
For fate to have led her to you, you'd assume you've somehow accumulated some sort of good karma in your past life. The reward to you had been fresh in this new one. An action that had garnered some godly being to bestow upon you a chance to meet your soulmate.
You'd be remiss with disappointment if you hadn't met Soshiro Hoshina in this lifetime.
But prior to that. Before Ashiro had recruited you into her division, you had little to no contact with the officers on-field. Delegated to the simple task of sending blueprints in and out of Tachikawa's base should the time arise; begrudgingly in the early mornings of every month too.
Back then, you had befriended a bespectacled girl named Okonogi. Who wore a slightly bigger uniform than the rest of the recruits. A quirk of hers which you found rather amusing. She, who wholeheartedly believed she might still grow into the uniform that was two sizes too bigger than what was recommended of her.
And you had remembered the day you had met her too.
It was another typical day in your routine. Delivering notes to Captain Ashiro in and out of bases. Though this time, you had decided upon taking a detour. Seeing the empty spaces of the mess hall which granted you an opportune moment of grabbing some coffee.
And such a detour had led you upon the bespectacled girl. Your documents slipping from your very fingertips. And your other hand, which held the coffee mind you. Accidentally toppling over. Spilling the liquid against her pristine ivory lab coat. Staining it.
Lucky it had not been hot, or else that could've been an accident in the making.
“I am… so sorry about that.” Your eye catches the glimpse of her nametag, stained with a bit of caffeine. Okonogi was what it read. And you were already pulling out a handkerchief from your pocket. Intent on correcting the mistake you made.
“No, it's okay. Really.”
The sincerity in her voice made you visibly flinch. And you had half a mind to just shove her your wallet, a chance given to compensate her for the coat you ruined. But the look on her eyes was determined. Abrupt in the way she had declined you.
“Are you sure? Money shouldn't be a problem. I can definitely get you a better coat within the day..” You spoke with much guilt. And yet she insisted.
“No need, really! It's just a stain. Nothing a bit of bleach can't handle.” She moves lower with a smile, one hand tucked behind her knees as she tries to pick up the few folders scattered on the ground.
“-Lucky it didn't hit the documents! Or the Director would definitely have our heads for it.” Okonogi had surprisingly jested your way. And a small laugh bubbles between the two of you in turn. As if you had known each other for quite some time now.
“I suppose so.” You had spoken between giggles. The sentiment shared between the two had all but eased the tension of the room.
And the brunette had gingerly handed you the pile of documents that had been untarnished. Though, one in particular catches her trained eye.
It was a simple list of materials used for the next batch of combat suits to-be-made. Or at least, that was the pitch you had planned to present today. In the hopes that Mina Ashiro would give it enough attention and send it to command for a much more direct approval.
And Okonogi, who was a newbie at the time. Had known all too well of the budding genius you had been. A technician far too enraptured in improving Combat Suits and weapons catering for strange combat. One that did not conform to the normalcy of firearms which had modernized the era.
And it seems one of your papers in particular had caught her attention. Like a hammer against glass.
It was a series of notes and drawings involving bronze wires that resembled the muscle groups of a Kaiju's inner workings. All built into the combat suit that had been Izumo Tech's symbolic masterpiece.
And its Kaiju plating was as amazing as it was unconventional. Built to last no doubt in the wake of an ever evolving organization.
Okonogi could not help but stare at it. Admiring the artistry and engineering involved in such a concept.
“An idea of yours?” She asks. And you nod in turn. Surprised by the way she did not immediately question the schematics.
Normally you'd be met with strange looks. One that questioned the very ethics of your research for involving Kaiju parts into the combat suits.
But the Defense Force had long since been converting strong Kaiju into weaponry. And applying the same sentiments to a combat suit, should be no different. “That's right.”
“I was hoping to improve the current designs of the Combat Suits.” You admitted. “If it succeeds, it might help our soldiers a lot more. Survivability wise..I mean.”
And Okonogi smiles at this. A layer of irony mixed in with the few laughs that bubbled within her chest.
She knew how fragile lives can be. Especially in their line of work where they had faced massive enemies almost on a daily basis. And a battle of attrition against such monsters? It was never a pretty picture.
But still, it had been a rare sight to see one so dedicated with quality of life improvements. And it was as if Okonogi knew that she'd be able to trust you with such a task.
“Glad to see you working on it! People have been volunteering less and less these days. But if we had better tech, I'm sure our members would increase by a large margin.”
Her assurance made you nod. Already taking the paper from her hands and delicately sliding it back to the rest of the folders you held. Carefully standing as the both of you had come to smile at each other.
“If there's a chance it can save lives. There's no harm in trying. It's just a part of the job.”
“There's definitely a truth in that.” Okonogi remained positive with a dip to her head. Making her rimmed glasses slide gently from the bridge of her nose. A tilt in her head as she next spoke.
“-But, why use bronze by the way? Wouldn't steel or alloy be a better alternative?”
You had looked over to the notes peeking from your file. And a smile is etched on the very corner of your lips. Complacent in the way you had so easily looked at her, as if you knew something she did not.
“There's a saying you see.”
Okonogi tilts her head upward. Who had finally moved to fixate her gaze to you. Eyes meeting with the absolute tenacity and confidence at your craft. “...a saying?”
You nod. “They say that some people should seek things that are more lasting than bronze.”
“Does bronze not last very long?”
“Oh it does. But even in metals, people try to find something much better right?” Okonogi who had paused to think about your words. Had only nodded in turn. Your sentiment was a much more refreshing and positive take than she had imagined it to be.
“I intend to find that material. One that would make a monument more lasting than the lives we lost.”
And Okonogi’s breath hitches. And you had looked her in the eye, with a determination she was sure would last you a lifetime. “Even if that means I have to dissect a Kaiju and use its very skin as armor.”
A bit morbid for her take. But still, she couldn't help but admire your tenacity. It was the same sentiment she'd see with the soldiers. And somehow, it reminds her of a certain someone who was all smiles despite wielding a blade.
“I suppose most Kaiju do have a layer of tough skin..” She jested. And your shoulders shake with a bubbling smile. The start of a silly friendship perhaps, where Soshiro's eyes would soon flicker your way.
And somehow things just started to click into place.
You didn't know if it was fate. Had it been Okonogi or Mina Ashiro that led you to him. But it wasn't until a few weeks later, you had found yourself responsible for the Third's technical division. Overseeing much of the repairs and weapon upgrades needed for Kaiju slaying. And it was in that very same division where you had grown much closer to him.
A strange recruit, scouted from the Kansai district. Where Captain Ashiro had particularly shown a keen interest in. His skill in the blade had been incomparable to his peers. And although he boasted the highest individual body-count when it came to handling melee pursuits. You had once thought him stupid for sticking to a fighting technique that had long since aged from the existence of firearms.
But how wrong you had been in judging him for that.
Okonogi often reminded you not to be too harsh on him whenever the two of you had just so happened to meet. Jesting that you two would've made a stellar couple, had you both given each other a chance. And although you've denied such things a few times before, Soshiro would always take a glance at you as if reading the expressions on your face. Thoroughly investigating the subtle expressions you wore that would've reached his conclusion.
And each time after that, he too would answer for you. A denial. A white lie.
And Okonogi always saw through it of course. She had been there since the beginning. Serving cupid for the both of you.
And when she can, she had always been peppy in her step. Pushing the both of you in a particular direction. Waiting for one of you to make a move. Calculated like masters playing chess on a board. By far you two had been hopeless. If it wasn’t for Okonogi’s encouragement, Soshiro wouldn’t have thought to visit you between breaks. And how lucky you had been to have the girl pry him out of his skittish shell.
It’s a wonder you two had gotten together like this.
You had rarely seen the girl frown or be frustrated over anything. Let alone your own bite when it comes to Soshiro's mixed signals.
So it had been a sudden whiplash, seeing her so frightened above you. Her voice had been unusually drawled and shaky as she repeated your name. Trying to keep you awake despite the far off look you had in the depths of your irises.
Wait.
Why was it so blurry all of a sudden?
Where were you again?
Right.
You were injured. And from the look on her face, it was probably worse than you had realized. The trickle of an unfamiliar liquid slid down your forehead to the very height of your cheek. Where you could’ve sworn a clawed hand had been there to comfort you.
Larger than your own, and definitely plated with armor. Gently grazing the very skin of your cheek.
Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.
It's starting to hurt. The pain on your lower back had suddenly hit you like a metric ton of weighted bricks. Like something jagged and sharp had punctured through you. A result from a bad fall.
“Sweetheart. Keep yer’ eyes open alright?”
You heard a deep rumble from the side. And your eyes pried away from Okonogi's disturbed features. Suddenly enamored by the wine red irises that looked at you as if you had gone through hell and back.
Had it really been that bad?
Last you checked, you were narrowly able to escape Kaiju's attacks. The flashes of its flaky features had encompassed your mind’s eye. And the ground below you had bellowed like a monster’s mouth. Suddenly ripping open as a shockwave had violently lifted you from your feet.
And like a leaf on a windy day, you were blown to the side. Crashing harshly against the window of a boutique. A stray shard puncturing your lower back to the point of near paralysis. And it leaves you barely conscious to see the not so lucky victims that tried to escape the Kaiju.
One group in particular had been crushed by the rubble of a building. And somehow the scent of blood and bones was enough to knock you out cold. Their downfall would’ve made you vomit, had you not been injured and too dizzy to think about it all.
And as morbid as it sounded, you had been fortunate enough to have only been thrown aside. Sacked into a world of pain which had reminded you that you were very much alive. It had been a miracle that Soshiro found you when he did. Despite the slight sprain on his ankle and the sores he felt in the muscles of his arms. He forced himself to run. Empowered to meet with you, ushered by the help of Number 10’s powers.
And like clockwork he was led straight to you. The fears he had once buried deep in the back of his brain had all came flooding through.
And he didn’t know what to do.
You heard a few voices then.
Although it was barely comprehensible, you could make out a few distinct ones from the array of shouts. Your name in particular was whispered in a prayer. Begging you not to fall asleep despite the odd temptation to. And sure enough, the back and forth argument you heard between two figures was enough to keep your mind and heart racing with urgency. The look between Okonogi and Soshiro’s face had all been so different than usual that it frightens you so.
But despite the noise, despite the shouting. You heard him in clear daylight. Like it had been the only voice in the room. Isolated from the rest who had rushed in a frenzy.
“I got ya’ alright? I’m here baby. I’m right here.”
His reassurances had blanked when his voice cracked. Desperate like he had been ready to cry. The way your name had escaped his lips was almost hesitant. As if he didn't deserve to call you out. And you wanted to stop him before his thoughts could drift further. But your voice had failed you when you needed it most. A soft cry escaping your lips instead.
I'm okay.
I'm here.
I'm alive.
All of that died the moment it tried to leave your throat. And without those very words. Soshiro's face was left to contort. As if he were the one in pain instead of you. And how he'd wished that were the case.
“Let me through!”
You heard him scream. And your eyes had focused just enough to see Okonogi and a few nurses blocking his pathway to you. Desperately trying to push past them despite the grievances.
The sight had been a blur.
One second your vision was fine. The next you had felt the telltale signs of drowsiness hit you. And you feel the way the pain medication had started to kick in when your eyes had isolated itself from the world. Your body’s exhaustion hits you squarely on the chest down to your very toes. And when you had been dragged to the next room over. Soshiro had been the last face you had seen before separation. Sleep pulling you over until your breath is taken from you in that instance.
Your name had been the only thing Soshiro could say afterwards.
“I said let me through–That's an order from your Superior Officer, Okonogi.” Soshiro had warned her. Voice uncharacteristically deep when issuing an order. It was normally never used in this way. Such a tone was only ever used to command Number 10 when he had been too stubborn to listen.
But the bespectacled girl knew better than to fan the flame. And in retrospect, she out of anyone would understand his frustrations the most. Yet she stood her ground. Gently shaking her head at her heated friend.
“Vice Captain.” Okonogi started. Hands already raised to try and calm him down. And she could see it in his eyes; the way it subconsciously followed the rolling bed they had put you in.
Dragging your bed into another room where only the best medical practitioners had worked on you. And yet despite that, he couldn't find it in himself to sit still. His gut sinking at the mere thought of you getting worse than when he had already found you in. And he was willing to bet Weapons 10 had all but read the blatant emotions he displayed on his sleeve. With or without having to delve into his mind.
He was in utter ruin just from your condition.
“-Please understand. You cannot, in under any circumstances enter the surgery room, sir.”
“To hell with that!”
The scream had made Okonogi frown. And Soshiro had half a mind to push past the smaller woman. And rush forward with Number 10's help. But he stopped midway. Reminding himself that his suit could go on a rampage at any time. And right now, he did not want to expose Okonogi and a handful of civilians to Number 10's war-ridden desires. His deep baritones had instead vanished for more firm ones. Unlike the resentment from prior. Oddly curt in his delivery.
“Move. Or I’ll do somethin’ drastic.” He steps forward.
A threat is a threat, and he hoped that would at least be enough to convince the bespectacled girl to move. Yet Okonogi had known him for far too long to actually perceive it as one. And she looks unfazed by his words.
“Sir please.” She pleaded. “It'll only worry you more.”
Her voice was gentle. Understanding even. It almost reminded him of the way you speak at times. Stern but with a hint of softness when it came to his stubbornness. And how he wished it was you he was talking to right now.
“Just please try to calm down. We should get your own wounds treated first and then we can-”
“Fuck no. I'm going in there and-”
“Hoshina.” The stern voice of their Captain had made them both flinch. And the heavy cleats of Mina Ashiro'a footsteps had gotten louder as she had made her way closer to the two.
“Captain Ashiro.” Soshiro had spoken with a much more leveled tone than he did earlier. Hand raising into a salute as the rest followed suit. Though even in his greeting, his frustrations had still been made entirely clear. And he was more than willing to face insubordination just to get to you. But Mina was one step ahead of him.
“Hoshina. You’re causing a disturbance and deliberately disrupting the medical wing from doing their job--I'd let you run some laps. But I can see you're injured.”
Soshiro had glanced down at his body, a light scoff emerging from his lips when she had noticed the way he stood, limping.
“Patch your own wounds up and we can discuss it later.”
And Soshiro had frowned at the way she immediately knew. A sixth sense perhaps that he had been getting sloppy. And sometimes he feared Mina Ashiro would kick him out of the Third because of it. But Mina made no such accusation, instead her eyes had been understanding.
Firm as they usually are, she, like Okonogi, was quite aware of your relationship with Soshiro. And by all means, she understood his sentiment.
Today had been a jumbled mess. And Soshiro was practically facing the very brunt of it all.
With you as its victim.
“But-”
“That's an order, Vice Captain. Do not make me repeat myself.” Her stern reply had been met with his half-meant glare. Red irises swirling with thoughts before ultimately concluding that Mina had been right. Okonogi too. He'd just been too stubborn to see it.
And for a good few seconds, he finally drops his own staring.
Reluctant as he had finally turned around. Facing Okonogi with a sort of defeated look in his eyes. Uncharacteristic to her as he'd normally be so cheery, even in the face of impending death.
He'd be thrown into a pit. And as long as he was still kickin’ he'd probably end up smiling and joking about it the next day.
This had definitely been a first for the two to witness.
And although Mina had not usually been the closest to Soshiro. He couldn't help but make an exception this time. She'd waive him of running laps, not as an officer. But as her friend. And a stern hand was placed squarely on his shoulder. Gently giving it a pat of reassurance. One that Okonogi would follow up with her own.
“It'll be okay. Right Captain?” Okonogi glanced between the two.
“That's right. I'll see to it personally that she gets the best care. For now, get yourself patched up–That'll be the punishment you get for speaking to your superior officer.” She awkwardly spoke. Though a small reassuring smile had cracked on the face of her usually hardened expressions.
And such a sentiment from both the girls had silenced him before he could think of another protest to answer with.
“understood.” He begrudgingly spoke. His hand balling into tight fists at the possibility that you'd wake up without him by your side.
Bronze was made to last, yet it wasn't exempt from tarnish after all.
“Good. I'll inform you shortly once her treatment is done–Okonogi.”
“Yes?” Her reply had been immediate.
“Make sure his wounds are treated. And, I expect a detailed report on Number 10's latest excursion later.”
“Roger.” Okonogi had saluted. And Soshiro watched her as she slowly walked past them. Entering the very same room where he had not even had the chance to take a glimpse in.
His arms had gently felt the pull to another direction. Okonogi had done well at Mina's request as he had all but dragged his feet further away from the blaring red lights of the operating room.
And the flicker of your sleeping face was all that’s left before he too was separated somewhere else.
A place where he was left to wonder what will become of you. And for a moment, his distinct thought was a scenario where he hadn't met you.
If only he hadn't asked you out that day..things would've turned differently.
Right?
Your eyes blew wide open. The strangled breaths you took were caught on your throat as you could smell the bitter antiseptics nip the back of your nostrils. It reminded you of a hospital. That of which you had the unpleasant experience of having to frequent anytime Soshiro would come back to base injured.
Often you'd be on the other side of his bed. A frown on your face as the condition of his health had been on the top of your mind. And each time with a smile, he'd make a joke to ease the tension in the room. A signal to indicate he had been alright. Despite the lack of words you two would exchange.
Habitually it was you unharmed. You left to worry at his bedside.
So it had been a rare sight indeed, to find yourself on the opposite side of the spectrum.
Laid in thin hospital robes. Connected to a needle of an IV drip. The constant flow of medicine made you drowsy and your thoughts jumbled into a mesa of numbness. And if you had looked at the amount of bandages wrapped around your torso you'd surely start squirming in place.
But just when you were about to scrutinize the heavy onset of your heartrate’s monitor. The blaring sound was all but silenced when you heard the familiar tremors of his voice. Smooth and soft, like you had always heard them as.
“Yer’ finally awake.”
You turned to his direction. Bright eyes had met his own which had been as familiar as it was squinted. His irises were more crystalline and tired than usual. Puffy on the corners, like he hadn't been given a chance to get a good night’s sleep between your hospitalization.
And yet, despite the unfamiliarity of his somber tone; the despondent frowns he'd make.
His voice had been the sound you missed the most.
“Soshiro..” You croak out. Voice dry like someone had stuffed cotton down your throat. And you try your best to scoot closer. To move and stand like you had always done when faced towards him. But this greeting would cut short. Hands restrained by firm bandages and hollow tubes that weighed heavily on your skin. And you hadn't realized the mumble of a barely audible whimper from your mouth. One that Soshiro could not miss even if he tried to.
Soshiro noticed the way you had squirmed. Struggling to sit up. Which made him all the more vigilant. And he ends up closing the small leatherbound book he'd always brought with him. Sinking it back on his pocket where you had been accustomed to seeing it.
Walking much closer to you in an attempt to calm and shush you.
“Where are we?” You asked him. And his fingers hesitantly graze your cheek. The same way when you had blood trickling down it moments prior. “Base. The Medical wing took ya’ in.”
His words were oddly curt in delivery. And although the average person who knew Soshiro on a surface level could probably not tell. You were able to differentiate the distinct way his voice had sounded odd. Such sentiments laid rather clearly for you. And you can see the layer of guilt etched on his stiff face.
“Okonogi?” You inquired. And he gives you a nod.
“Safe. I'll call her for ya’ later so she doesn't worry.” and you let out a breathless sigh. Your head slumping against the cushion of the soft pillow. The lingering feeling of glass and cement on you had all been but a pipe dream now. A memory that you'd soon forget.
And how Soshiro wished it was that easy for him to forget.
“How are you feelin? I can call the nurse for ya if anything hurts.” He moves to turn around.
Eyes already searching for the small caller that was given to him in case of emergencies. Though your hand, as painful as it felt, had pulled him in. Weak fingertips grabbing the sleeves of his jacket to refuse him. Your eyes remained squinted as they were sharp despite the fatigue. And you caught the glimpse of bandages wrapped around his skin. A stark testament to the rest of his unblemished face.
“What happened?” You had immediately tried to get up. Alert in the way you had wanted to reach out and inspect his own injuries. But the fatigue of your body had stopped you. Causing you to slump forward and unto his willing arms who had been cautious in the way he handled you.
“Easy. You're still…not well.” Soshiro gently nudged you back down. Hand placed squarely on your chest to ease you into the pillow. But you stubbornly persisted. Compromising by sitting up against the bed's headboard instead.
“That doesn't matter. What's more important is, what happened to you. Are you alright?”
“That doesn't matter? Are you seriously askin’ me that right now?” For a moment you mistake his scoff for a laugh. His hands which had held you firmly had just as quickly left leaving the spot on your skin cold and yearning for his proximity.
Had you said something wrong? This aggression was unlike him.
Soshiro was rarely this agitated. And your voice couldn't help shrivel in meek irritation. Unsure whether you should respond back with much the same turbulence.
“Should I…not be asking you that?” You spoke unsure. And he shakes his head in turn.
“You were dead-still for five days straight and yer tellin’ me THAT doesn't matter right now?”
You didn't know how else to reply. The way his tone had shifted into a scoff had made you double back to glare at his face. For once since you awoke, you truly saw how tense he had been. Gone was his usual suave smile that made you laugh or cry in between meetings.
He had been too worried to focus on that. But you had been too frustrated at this sudden change. That it made your voice come more forcefully than you anticipated. “Well isn't it obvious? I'm worried about you.”
You replied. Your own expression had squished into rapid vexation. And you see the way he takes a few steps back, too far for your touch to reach. And it pained you that you couldn't just stand up and make him face you like you usually could.
“And you think I don't feel the same!?” He spoke loudly. Causing your shoulders to flinch in turn. One he had regretted as soon as he spoke. And yet, he continued.
“You don't think..that I didn't nearly kill myself when I found you bleeding in the middle of that goddamn street?” He pointed out the window.
And your expression had turned liquid at the images that flash in your mind. Imagining how he had found you. His thoughts, his expressions..you could only imagine the torment he felt the moment he found you. Barely breathing.
His breaths came in gasps. Eyes widened so that you can clearly see the crimson of his eyes peeking through. And suddenly you notice the way Soshiro had oddly been so vulnerable in front of you. The quips on your sore throat began to die down when you saw how frustrated–how fearful he had looked in the moment. And gods did you wish you woke up sooner just to comfort him.
“No–that’s not what I meant. I only wanted to know if you were okay. Is it so wrong to ask?”
“Well maybe ya’ shouldn't have asked at all.” He huffed out. Looking away from you with regret lingering on his features.
It was stupid. He thought To get so frustrated over something so tiny. But as much as Soshiro Hoshina excluded the guise of a proper adult. He had been flawed just like the rest of everyone else. And he'd be lying if he didn't have his moments of doubt. Often scrutinizing in the lonely privacy of his home. Where he knew no one would bother him.
That is of course, before you had entered his life.
But not everything was understood between the two of you. Okonogi was a witness to the piles of misunderstandings you both had caused. And without help you two were likely never to get along, habitually falling for the same skittish routine you had played at.
But a miracle happened. With him belonging to you. And you belonging to him.
So why was it that your heart cramped so much? Surely it was not the pains of a physical injury. Let alone a type of sickness.
Instead it was struck by simple bad habits and insecurities. One of which even you had trouble dealing with. And the loud firmness of his voice had made such an impact on your heart that you began to frown. Unable to hold back your bite.
“What is your problem!?” You started. “Listen, can we just please have this conversation some other time. And then we can-”
“And then we can, what? Do you want me to just sit here and forget that all happened?” He had interjected.
And suddenly you feel your brows knit tightly. Eyes feeling heavy from the burst of a headache you had gotten. Of all the times Soshiro wanted to argue, it's the time you had just woken up.
But he wasn't entirely unjustified.
There have been plenty of moments where you had fanned the flames of a fire that should've ended right then and there. Your word choice is poor and your temperament less than ideal.
For as frustrated as you had been, you understood Soshiro's sentiments. And your hands had raised as a sort of white flag. Not needing this fight to escalate more than it should.
Not when you were both injured and all you wanted to do was crawl into his arms.
“-Listen Soshiro, I didn't mean to upset you. I only wanted to know if you were okay.”
“Does that matter?” He repeats your own words. And you had to hold back another jab of acknowledgement. Smart in the way he played his words. It almost made you want to laugh. But this time, your intent came from sincerity.
And his small play of mockery had been a sight for sore eyes, since you had quickly gotten the gist of what he had been trying to convey. Wrong in your choice of words. This time, you correct your mistake. Sincerity and all.
“Yes it matters. More than anything– of course it matters.” You had told him. And you see the way Soshiro’s mouth quivers into a small tremble. Uncanny when he'd normally be so laid-back and sweet when it came to you.
And how you'd wish he just took a breather and relaxed. Maybe take a break so that they could talk things out. Without yelling preferably. But that had not been possible. At least not just yet from the way he replied.
“Well had I not made it in time, you woulda’ been dead. Do you hear me?”
“And yet, Here. I. Am. A witness to your unwarranted behavior.”
“Behavior that's justified because I shouldn't have let you outta my sight.”
Silence had followed soon after. Your mouth gapes for a moment to think of a reply when the words slip past your lips. And Soshiro would note how uncharacteristic that was, even for you. He, who was always used to your quick replies and clever jabs. But it seems his words had cut too far this time.
And he pried his eyes away from you. Chest heaving as he ran a hand through his face. “I shouldn't have..”
He composed himself. Clearing his throat whilst you looked at him with an etched frown on your face. One that he wished would go away. But he had been the cause of this.
He had been the one to make your smile go away. And it somehow makes him feel even worse.
“I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you. I just-”
“Soshiro.” Your voice sounded like bells. And when he looked up, relief had immediately sagged his shoulders upon seeing your gaze blown wide open. Not at all restrained by the pain medication and exhaustion you had felt.
And your hand had gently reached up to grab his own. Gentle in the way her thumb caressed his knuckle which had been previously so bruised and bloodied.
And although there was a struggle to reach for his hand. Your touch was met halfway. Gently threading your much softer skin that would've paled in comparison to a blanket had he not taken glances.
“What happened back there wasn't your fault. We couldn't have known that the Kaiju would follow me back to the shelter.” You whisper. And Soshiro's expression had turned serious. Like he held a weight that you couldn't possibly fathom even if you tried.
“And yet I let it slip away.”
“I let it get to you, and now you're in here because of me.” He had wanted to so badly pull away from you. To walk himself out before he could be tempted to lean back into those pretty eyes of yours. But the moment he met your sight.
Those sad eyes of yours had been his journey's end. And he couldn't do that to you. Not when your expression had frustratingly asked him to stay.
“And yet it was also because of you that I'm still alive and breathing, Soshiro.” You reasoned. “You don't give yourself enough credit. If it hadn't been for you I would've been-”
“Dead.” He cut you off. “You would've been dead.”
“No. You wouldn't have allowed that. You're the Vice Captain, remember? If there's anywhere safer for me, it's by your side.” You didn't know whether such assurances had really made him listen. The way he was assured in that answer of his wasn't a mere fortnight conclusion. It was as if he had been thinking of such consequences for a much longer time, and that alone makes your heart sink.
So you scooted closer. Moving in to try and pull him down so that you could wrap your arms around his neck. And just when you were snaking it through his shoulders. His hands had stopped you midway.
His calloused palms holding on to the points of your elbows as he gently pries you off of him.
Normally this would be met with your pout. Maybe another bout of force just let the stubborn man look your way. But you had been too weak, still healing from an injury you had no control over. And his response is far too swift for your liking. Leaving your arms missing the warmth his body could provide you.
“No, no, no, no, no–no. You don't understand. I don't deserve to be anywhere near you right now.” He had managed to convince himself. Looking away as the anxiety within you had spiked upon his words.
“Soshiro. Listen to me we can-”
“What I’m saying is that we're done here.”
You had blinked. Looking up at him who had towered above your bed. A somber look on his expression despite the daunting words he had spoken. He looked passive. Unaffected even. Like he had been ready for this moment which had been planned for a long time coming. And your voice could only muster a feeble whisper.
“What do you mean we're done?”
“It's over.” Soshiro continued. Not once paying your face any heed. Lest he change his mind from doing you a greater good he deemed correct. “I don't want anything to do with ya’ anymore.”
If this had been a dream you would've laughed at the way he delivered such a sentiment.
You'd somehow suppress the inner workings of your shock and you'd wake up to find the morning documents you promised yourself to do; in the desk untouched where it usually had been.
And by the time you left your room, you'd habitually laugh it off and tell Soshiro about it in the afternoon just to get a chuckle and light scolding out of him. The usual banter that admittedly, had always been the highlight of your day.
But this had not been a dream.
And hearing him say that. Had hurt more than you anticipated it seemed. And your voice cracks before you can even register yourself speaking.
"Is this because you think I can't love you?" The sudden appearance of tears had painted your face. And you had tried to sniff away the bigger ones that threatened to spill over. But to no avail.
And Soshiro’s eyes widen at the telltale signs of your crying. An unexpected third party which had not been invited to the list of things he ought to do. And his head reels to face you once more. Seeing your face redden with a shame he'd never thought he'd see.
"Do you really think that I'm incapable of willingly loving you? Even beyond that fucking sword of yours-" And Soshiro had all but shook his head. Remorseful in the way tears had jerked from your eyes.
"That ain't the point!"
"Then what IS the point!?" Your tears had blurred your vision. And your hand had embarrassingly moved up to wipe it. One that Soshiro had wished to do for himself had he not been so stubborn.
“-What is the point if I can't make sense of you trying to leave me?"
The turmoil in your voice had been made present. One so encompassing that Soshiro couldn't ignore. And as much as it hurts you to scream. It hurt him to see you suddenly cry like this. Someone he associated as being so usually strong-willed, crumbling in a few short words from him. And suddenly, it feels as if he wants to swallow back his words. Mouth churned into regret when he had moved to take a step closer to you.
“Sweetheart, please..I-”
He shook his head. Suddenly finding himself kneeling down in front of your bed. And when your eyes had met his, it was as if his heart had stopped momentarily. Too focused on the way you had looked at him in desperation. Mixed with both physical and emotional pain.
And he had been the cause of that. Regrettably he knew he had been the cause of that.
"Is the idea of me loving you THAT terrible of a concept to you?" you spoke flimsily. Words betraying the tone you wanted to convey. And somehow you felt worse than when blood was unnaturally seeping out of your wound.
And his own body. One that betrayed his own commands, had a mind of its own. Strong arms wrapping around your bandaged ones that had still been healing from the minor cuts you had accumulated. And the warm steady beat of his heart had drowned you back into reality. Cheeks pressed against his and regrettably, soiling his jacket.
Not that he minded of course. Far too focused on wiping your tears away. Shushing you when you'd shudder from the breathless sniffles he'd been the cause of.
"Shit- no sweetheart no. I didn't mean it."
“I didn't mean it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.” His instant apologies and regrets had echoed for a few moments. The sudden urge to calm you down had him reeling just to caress your shoulders. Weary of the injuries you were faced with as you cried in his arms.
And the struggling shudders you were faced with had all been too painful to see. Comical in the way he had all but worsened your condition when stressing a healing patient had been the last thing people needed to be reminded of.
Yet here you were, struggling to even cry when every breath would agitate any bandaged injuries you'd gotten. And it had been his fault entirely.
“I'm not leaving ya. I'm right here..” He whispered. And you had forcibly glanced up. Seeing the way his distress had wrinkled those usually foxy eyes. Like he had suddenly gained a keen sense of his stupidity and finally realized that his sentiments were not helping you. And upon realization you couldn't help but feel how silly all this had been.
You would've laughed had you not wasted such excess energy into crying your heart out in front of him. Likely an accumulation from the week's worth of not being able to see each other.
That and other things, which were obvious enough.
But you spoke. Wanting to pick his thoughts apart. Reason with him the next time this may happen. And your eyes flutter away the tears as you had finally managed to calm down enough to ask him.
“Then why? Why even suggest that?” Your voice had been soft. His thumbs move to caress the stray tears away from your face. Even moving to casually use his sleeves to gently wipe your cheeks in assurance of his presence. And you close your eyes at the simple gesture. Suddenly feeling much better now that he had been so close to you like this.
Crap, he set himself up didn't he? And just when he had this all planned out too.
In the wake of your hospitalization, he had planned to leave you. Somehow make you change occupations. Maybe work for a tech company where your life wouldn't be on the line. Where you'd be far away from his life and you could live a happy, seperate life from him.
But who was he kidding? Even he thinks it's stupid. The idea of doing you the greater good.
It had sounded conclusive back then.
He'd likely die young, a Kaiju attack that he had lacked defenses in no doubt. And somehow, you'd weasel your way out and live an old happy life.
Like bronze. Tarnished but long lasting.
But you had seen through his intention. And every right to refuse such a concept had knocked him over the head. A simple shed of tears was all it took for such a carefully built wall to crumble. His resolve in shambles at the mere thought of you leaving.
And to take that away from you. To separate the both of you like that? It felt wrong. And somehow his stupidity makes him laugh.
And the next words uttered had been voluntary on his part. Sloppy but it came out from an honest place. That even he doubted its power.
"Because, it scares me how much I need you. Okay?" He leans in. Head against your own so that your noses would touch. And you could see the little cracks on that smile of his. A stark contrast to the facade of laughs he'd usually give off. And it makes your heart flutter upon such fleeting confessions.
"Just hearing that voice of yours is enough to wreck me. And ruin me for anybody else."
"And when I saw you. Layin' there with that faraway look on your eyes. I just couldn't fucking breathe."
The way his eyes had not once left yours had felt like the first time you had met him. In that room with the Captain watching your interactions.
You had been less amicable to each other by then. Always second guessing each other by investigating the little nuances of your expressions. But somehow, the difficulties in reading each other had not been so far fetched. And the longer you two would spend time together. The more you had an inkling of what the other was thinking. And eventually an unspoken understanding had come between the both of you.
One that required no words to speak. Nor assistance from anywhere else. Just you and him. Nothing more.
"What If I lose you? You're all I fucking have.."
"Soshiro.” You whispered. Suddenly feeling the weight of his words drop down on you upon his realization. And you shake your head in turn. Immediately running your hands on the soft tresses of his hair. “You’re not going to lose me.”
“And what if I did?” He was quick to interject. “What if I had been a second too late and you were killed?”
“-And yet I'm still here. See?” You moved his intertwined hands to your chest. Firmly letting him feel the pulse of your heart. A repetition had to be made in order to convince him. And if you had to do such things a million times, there was no doubt you’d do it a thousand more times.
And his hand couldn't help but press firmly. Gingerly looking everywhere to check your wellbeing. Satisfied when he had settled in your slightly puffy eyes that he had been all too remorseful of when he found it too pretty to look away from.
You leaned in. Pressing light kisses against his cheeks to calm his thoughts. The voice in the back of his head all but silenced. When the adrenaline kicked in, because somehow he found himself unfocused when he caught your lips in his.
It was short and sweet.
Far different from the many picturesque and grandiose kisses he'd read about in books. And far too slow amidst the rush hours of your working breaks. Where you'd snag a few touches here and there just to get a rise out of each other. No this had been far too different. Far too gentle than it normally was. But despite the innocence of such a contact. It had made a more lasting impact on him.
The hesitation implied vulnerability, and without it. You'd be remiss to see Soshiro's true feelings underneath it. And it makes you pull away to rub your own hands against his chest. Admiring the way his uniform had engulfed him warmly in the cold air conditioning in the room.
All that matters was that they were okay now.
All that matters is that they are together now. Is that so much to ask?
“I won't die so easily, Soshiro.” Your assurances had made him perk up. Head still leaning against yours where you could see the pretty hallmarks of his tired eyes.
“I may not be able to know..everything in that damn head of yours. But what I do know? Is that I have unwavering trust in you. And that's the only reason I made it out alive today.” Your voice had made him crack a smile. One that makes you raise a brow at him. Suddenly fixated on the way his demeanor had changed so easily when you had spoken your piece.
And Soshiro, ever the enigma that he was. Had stopped his reluctance around you. Finally getting a chance to relax as his hands slotted its way to the bounce of your cheek and jaw, which he had always found so endearing to touch and look at.
He couldn't help but run soothing circles on your flesh. A habit he might've picked up on when reading a few romances here and there.And it makes you wonder if he had always been this sweet. A layer unknown go you that you'd love to rediscover, if only he'd put down that smart mouth of his.
“I think that was ‘bout a week ago.” He corrected you. His face is as snarky as his comment. And that was enough to shake your head.
But of course, that had been too much to ask. Too far and few inbetween. You spoke too soon.
“Fine. A week ago.” You affirmed. Though this time you had rolled your eyes with a laugh of your own.
And the two of you had simply sat there. Soshiro rocking you back and forth as best he could without risking your injuries. Hands against the plush of your waistline, carefully making sure the stitches were still intact. But the warmth had remained.
This time he had been less distant. More calm and understanding like he had usually been. And that was enough for you. For now.
“Do you mean that?”
“Mean what?” You had blinked with a smile on your face. Sweet as it came, you had a viper that you knew how to use. And Soshiro wasn't ever one to stop confronting it. Even if he had to break out of his shell to ask the harder questions between you both.
“When you said you loved me.” He added.
And he wouldn't be able to miss that pretty smile forming on the corners of your lips. Leaning against him until the softness of your lips had grazed his chapped ones. Though you’d note, it was still gentle. Still his. And still yours to capture should you want it.
“Do I have to kiss you again and prove it?” You mutter out.
“Do you not want to right now?”
And without a doubt did you lean in. Capturing his lips with a crooked smile in between. Soft and sensual. And you had missed this. Missed him who had not gotten the chance to set things right by you.
How long had it been since you had taken the time to really kiss him? Without the rush of prying eyes, nor the responsibilities that came with their work. It was just a kiss, yet in this moment it felt like everything.
Slow and reassuring. Without the need of words to complicate things. It had conveyed everything he needed to know. And when you pulled back, Soshiro could see the pretty pearls of your teeth. Admiring the way your lips had bruised red from how eagerly he had captured your mouth. And he wouldn't dream of being anywhere else in the world right now. Not when you had looked so perfect. Hospital gown and all.
“Does that prove my point?”
He laughs. Something you had always thought to be pretty.
“Maybe.” The familiar trace of his hand had brushed past your hair. Straightening out the few loose strands that could obscure him from your face. And his smile, although back to the usual cat-like facade, had now softened up significantly upon your presence. And you had prided the way this man had looked at you like you had offered him the world.
“I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at ya. I just-”
“Shh..I know.” Your hand had touched his lips. Admiring the way it too, had reddened from your previous kisses.
“I'm tougher than bronze, you know? I'm not so simple as to let a few words bend me sideways.”
“Okonogi tells me the same.”
“And right she was. You should learn a thing or two from her.” And a laugh bubbles between the two of you. He had to remind himself to save his apologies later for Okonogi. For despite her absence, even now she was playing cupid for them. The small voice in his head urging him to tell you how he truly felt.
And without warning. He managed to say it outloud.
“I love you.”
Those words had struck a melodic chord in you. Ones that made you look back at him in temporary stupor. Before finally turning giddy at the way he so gently said it. No remorse. No regret. A fact even she couldn't deface as mockery. When there'd normally be a trick of a joke involved.
And in your quiet smiles held a deep admiration for him. Ones that squeezed Soshiro's hand despite the difficulty of your injuries.
But that didn't matter. Injuries heal after all. And right now, you had been far too focused on him to mind the slowly subsiding pain on your body.
“What's this all of a sudden? You're not joking are you?” You ask cautiously. Though a smile still remained on your face. Far too elated at hearing those words. And from the look on his face, you could tell he had been serious in his admission.
“It's not sudden. I just–” Soshiro lets out a small chuckle. Not entirely sure why he feels so nervous in the wake of your question.
“I meant to say it that day. Before the Kaiju attacked. I wanted it to be perfect for ya and..” His voice stops when you lean in. Cuddling him down as best you could in the safety of the hospital's bedsheets. The understanding look in your eyes had all but told him that you knew. And it makes him think twice about having to explain things to you again. Not when you could now read him so well. Especially in the most important aspects of his life.
“I know. You don't need to tell me twice."
He heard you speak. Though the hint of playfulness in your voice hadn't subsided. A reminder that you had been slowly regaining your strength. And pretty soon, you'd be pulling him down by the collar just to kiss him breathless if you wanted to.
But for now, he was gonna have to take care of you. Take the lead and deal with your smart comments. And it makes him smile knowing he'd get to hear such witty banters from you again. More so now that you were awake.
“Really now? And I thought you'd be happy to have me say it outloud for ya.”
His chuckle had made his chest rumble. And you could feel the pleasant vibration as your head fell squarely on his chest. A roll in your eyes as you had hummed in reply.
“Well…I suppose it couldn't hurt for you to say it again.”
And he would. He'd do it as long as you'd allow him that privilege.
And this time, he too had read you like an open book. Somehow fitting perfectly in the way they understand the other without needing to speak. They needed to work on it. They needed each other more than ever before.
So it was lucky their bonds were more lasting than bronze. And fate had brought them together.
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ysrjune · 23 days ago
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SCOTT BARRINGER X PREGNANT READER @ MT. HORIZON.
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• Scott isn't pleased to hear that you're pregnant. He knows that this falls on him for the most part because he didn't use protection, but he's still upset. Despite the way he feels, he does the right thing and stays with you.
• He has now become even more protective of you. Anyone who dares to make any sort of joke about you or the baby growing inside your tummy is 100% getting checked by him. Your pregnancy isn't a joke to him, and he won't let anyone else take it as one either.
• Shelby and Juliet are upset once they find out you've been knocked up by Scott. The guy they both had before you. They don't exactly like each other, but they do enjoy talking about you.
“She probably trapped him.” Shelby rolls her eyes. “Yeah. There's no way Scott wanted to stay with her. She did this on purpose, knowing that he'd stay because he'd feel bad..”
Even though Jules is jealous, she's not that bad. If she sees that you're having trouble because of the baby, she'll put on a fake smile and warm tone and help you out. She's mad at you, not the baby.
Shelby, on the other hand, will just stare and smirk, watching you struggle with whatever you're doing. “Should have thought twice before deciding to let him do it without a condom.” She says while passing by you.
• Peter and the other counselors let Scott into the girls' cabin ONLY because of you. He told them that if anything were to happen to you and he wasn't the first one to know, he wouldn't feel right. He needs to know how you are 24/7.
• He ignores all the girls in the cabin if they aren't talking to him about stuff the group is going to do the next day or during the day. He's also not in the cabin much. If you're not in there, it makes him uncomfortable to be in there all by himself with the other girls.
• None of the girls can ever hear what he says even if they're a bed away from you and him. Scott talks in a very low voice because he doesn't want them to know what he's saying. He keeps your business on the low: Appointments, the day that you and him are leaving Horizon for the day of your baby shower/gender reveal, and the gender of the baby.
• When the guys ask him what the baby is, he simply shrugs and says he doesn't know, and you won't tell him because it's a surprise. He doesn't want to get into the "Well what if it's a girl and when she's this and that -" blah blah blah. He doesn't want to discuss it with them. Although he's glad that you're having a boy, he would be okay with a girl.
“What should we name him?” You ask. “Definitely Junior.” Scott winks with a chuckle. “Oh, sure.” You roll your eyes. “Be serious, Scott.”
“Matthew?”
“That's my ex-boyfriend's name.”
“Oh, right.” Scott icks at the reminder. “Something with an L? I like L names.”
“Landon? Lawrence? Leslie?”
“Leslie?” He almost looked offended. “No. No to all of those. What about Leonardo? That's not a bad name.”
It was really that easy and quick to choose the baby's name.
• Waking up at three in the morning in a rush to go tell one of the counselors that you needed to go to the hospital ASAP because you were in labor was not fun at all. He was so stressed and tired.
• He had to stay at Horizon while you were taking care of Leo back at home. He wasn't happy at all about it, but his parents and the staff of Mt. Horizon thought it was best for him to get better before really becoming a father. He thinks it's so stupid because you and Leo need him. He has a fear of Leo not remembering who he is.
• Thankfully, you and Leo are allowed to visit every Saturday. Scott thinks that he should at least get both days out of the weekend, but if this is what he has to deal with, he accepts it.
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