#so i wont cry THAT hard
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just found out scar impulse skizz and tango are gonna be at twitchcon this year and i can't fucking go. no one talk to me i will be too busy crying and ripping my hair out to respond
#what the fuck#NO INE TOUCH ME LOOK AT ME BREATH TKWARDS ME OR ANYTHING ELSE#I MEED A WHILE TK RECOVER FROM THIS#istg i better not see ANY of you guys meet ANY of the hermits or else im kms on the spot#/hj#ill actually be very happy for anyone that gets to meet them#i'll also be so inhumanly jealous and also crying if i see any photos#at least jimmy isn't going so there's that#BUT TANGO IS#ONE KF THE RANCHERS IS#AND SCAR#KMS#FUCK#at least not martyn either#or waffle duo#so i wont cry THAT hard
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saw this
and you KNOW it had me mind body and soul
pov: they’re at your house
+bonus! kendall and kendall undercover
#thought i’d share these doodles#succession#succession art#also their detective company is ROY & ROY DETECTIVE AGENCY#they have never arrested the right person and they wont start now#my art#traditional art#ALSO ALSO kendall roy is so hard to draw and im screaming crying throwing up about it#roman roy#kendall roy#succession fanart#sorry about the lighting i have not figured out how to make it look good yet#succession detective au
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Expression practice
Below is some process yapping! And some explanation!
Having this next to a completely normal sketch felt insane but sometimes u hone in on smth so hard you forget what else is on the page lol.
While I was trying to get a feel for how to draw this expression I was thinking about what actually would bring Sonic to this point and make him this upset. I did a whole analysis of his character in my head and came up with this idea of Sonic, someone often capable and relied on in tense situations(such as the 3rd act of xyz Sonic Game), being forced to take the observer role as someone else takes the sacrifice role for him.
That someone in this case, being Tails.
I was looking at some Frontiers stuff today - cinematically edited playthroughs by AltheBoi to be specific-, and seeing their dialogue in Frontiers reminded me again of how badly I want Tails to get his own chance to save the day alone for once, and what would that look like.
But also.. how would Sonic react?
It's a show of Tails' growth as a character in bravery and skill being able to take on something as challenging and dangerous as Sonic usually would, but is also a painful role-reversal in which Sonic has to watch his brother face impossible odds alone and cannot step in to save him, only able to hope that he will make it back to him alive by the end of the fight.
Sonic has faced off against terrifying enemies and impossible odds in the past, but I think that what would break him harder than any Super Sonic boss fight would be having to see his younger brother take that burden on instead.
#im really proud of this one#expressions are hard and im not usually good at making them intense!#this is sooooo not wholesome sonic and tails wednesday posting rn im so sorry#i might expand on this someday i dig the idea#i just want tails to get some more spotlight!#and also for Sonic to be allowed to cry shjhjgsjdk#sonic the hedgehog#sth#sonic#sonic fanart#unbreakable bond#miles tails prower#i dont know if this counts as character analysis but i wont tag it bc im scared lmao :'))#sticks can draw!?
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Don't mind me, just my mind living happily in Lesson 32 for the next some odd weeks.
#man i played favorites SO hard#mammon's not well? oh no!#asmo's acting scary? yikes!#satan's asleep? well shit#beel wont eat? dear god!#levi is upset with me?!#screaming#crying#banging my head against a wall#and staring out the window like a forlorn sailor's wife waiting for a ship on the horizon#mc people are drowning#not now levi is sad somebody get my scuba gear#obey me#obey me nightbringer#obey me thoughts#obey me spoilers#obey me nightbringer spoilers#obey me leviathan
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I absolutely really need to be writing anything but random ideas while I procrastinate and this is so awful rough bc I literally wrote it on my phone in one sitting while avoiding work but
Do you see my vision. Her Nosy Bitch Syndrome would actually be good for him when they've both chilled out a little in the postcanon.
#fic#wip#i know its weird that im writing about shuro getting a crush on marcille when i have no intentions of letting that go anywhere#but the idea wont leave my head. he would end up liking her for the same reasons the toudens latched onto her#she's weird and awful in her own way but she's honest about it. you never have to second guess yourself with her#because she wears her heart on her sleeve and is so bad at not doing so#she's not afraid to Speak Up and advocate for herself so you can trust her to push back if you lean on her too hard#maybe i just have terminal blorboism. i want to see her be freaky good at learning eastern magic#and maybe even cry a little bc calligraphy gives her that same calm feeling that braiding her hair used to#and she didnt think she'd ever find another meditation routine that actually fits her#also its just. wouldnt it be so funny. if falin was worried about them not getting along bc marcille is jealous#and then actually visiting and seeing the way shuro looks at her and going#oh no you dont. thats MY elf get your own!!!!!
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oo u want 2 draw soo bad..
#i hate that my ability to draw is so conditional#its soo frustrating but i dont know how to break it. this has been the one thing thats never changed.ill never be free#times like rn i just do studies but its soo fking BORINGGG euuhh...#but if i try 2 draw something for funsies i just stare at the blank canvas. literally immobile. & u know how people r like just draw#something anyways. a line. something. and its like no i cant do that oi cant even do that u underestimate my freak#i want 2attack myself from the pov of someone else#i think im having the realization tht i will never be able to do art stuff frls and its driving me crazy i think.#like im actually sick and unwell frm the thought of it.my friend commissioned me and im ab 2 send the money back#after two weeks bc i cant do it im literally frozen dude.i want 2 cry and die and explode into a million pieces#wait im back to add more.idk if anyone feels the same way but its like. i know its entirely a Me issue its a mental block issue#theres something thats not connecting in my head but its like.why is it so easy for everyone else ykwim...and thats a lie too right#like everyone else struggles w art and its not.it cant exist Without you struggling and practicing hard and trusting yourself#but in my brain im just convinced that like.i cant do this i cant do this like everyone else can do it like second nature and it freaks me#tf out#but also its the one thing i want to do more than anything else in my life and so like if i cant do it i dont know what to do.ughh.#not me freaking the fuck out rn lawl.lols.even#and on top of it i feel like i cant express myself well and i think my friend. < SOOO awesome and well meaning and NICE and legitimately#pushing me to try and believe that i can do this stuff but i feel like they wont understand the sort of like.mental block im struggling wit#like its less that i hate my art or something i dont its more like.i just feel soo physically restrained and incapable of doing it.suddenly#i cant think and i cant do anything.i have no creativity i have no ideas my mind is quite literally blank and empty
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realized why i felt something was missing from my dakota design
this mf would have locs aint no other way
#dakota cole#jrwi#jrwi prime defenders#just roll with it prime defenders#prime defenders#prime defenders fanart#jrwi dakota#dakota cole fanart#just roll with it#just roll with it fanart#hes so silly#i love drawing silly fanart while watching them get their asses beat up and down the block in ep 23#also their hero costumes go so hard#like incredibly#also saw someone hc dakota as transmasc#soo guess who just got a new dakota hc!!!#:] hes so silly#hes my favorite psykick superhero fr#also tide definately retwists his hair and he tenderheaded#he wont admit hes crying because hes a strong big hero but hes totally crying
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thinking about Julie going into hibernation, but also how she was participating in winter activities and was at the Homewarming party.
obv an in-universe excuse is writing inconsistency within the show but nahh. i wanna get sad.
My headcanon is that Julie begins hibernation after the Homewarming party. Right after. And later in the evening it turns into a different party, Julie's Goodnight Party (name in progress).
It's fun, because any party with this rainbow monster's name in it is gonna be fun! but there's an underlying somberness. They eat, play games and talk about everything and anything like the Homewarming party, but it just feels different.
(continues below, sad warning bc I made myself sad)
When Julie starts getting sleepy, the party ends with her neighbors giving their farewells, goodnights, and big hugs.
Frank is the one to walk her home, of course. He brushes Julie's hair, makes sure her and her nest has everything she needs, and stays with her as she falls asleep. But not before they share a big, comforting, long hug filled with every unspoken "I'll miss you" and every ounce of love they can pour into it.
It's the longest Frank has ever hugged anybody. "A hug long enough to get him through winter," according to Julie.
He wished that were true.
Either way he smiles, he smiles for Julie as it's the last expression she sees before finally closing her eyes to sleep.
The tears that later soaked into his pillow are the only secret Frank's ever kept from his best friend.
#After taking Eddie home this past holiday Frank nearly missed Julie going home. He got there right as she was about to leave#He had stayed with Eddie until he fell asleep knowing he'd wake up in the morning.#Before he stayed with Julie until she fell asleep knowing she'd wake up in the spring.#Man i am. So emotional over this#julie hibernating is insane. and must be insanely hard on frank#frank really doesn't like winter#but maybe in the future he'll have a certain mailman's shoulder to cry on#and getting through winter wont seem so hard#imagine if you didn't read the post and are sitting down here like 'what this dude on about'#read my sad rambles and maybe you'd know! /silly#welcome home#julie joyful#frank frankly#homewarming#welcome home headcanons#headcanon#typing out loud#Julie's Hibernation Edition#this all came to mind bc im thinking about the Hurricane thats gonna steal my electricity tmrw#it got me thinking about blizzards#and what the neighbors would do in a blizzard. and what about Julie? what if they can't reach her?#i was thinking frank has Barnaby and Howdy move her and her nest into his guest room#just for the storm. she goes back home afterwards even if he wanted her to stay#welp.. i need to do laundry while i have power still sooo#that's all folks!#oh and ignore typos hehe
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I'll make like an actual fun photo post tomorrow with Optimum I'm just. I'm losing it I'm going to cry I'm so happy he made it home for Christmas I'm skahdbskxhsbxkchdnxnsjjsnb HE'S HERE... MY BELOVED... H,,,,,,,,, HE,,,,,,,,,,,,,
#i just need to hug him for a while im sO HAPPY... AUHAGAHGAUGUHHGAHAGHGHGHGH#ratkingrambles#blitzy !!!!!!!! blitzy real !!!!!!!!!!!!! i can hoLD HIM IN MY HANDS.......... SOBBIGN#look how hard i can CRY /pos#blitzwing my beloved#it's a rat room blitz!#ficto tag#sending every happy crying screaming reaction image i have to the gc because i have FEELINGS. SO MANY#poor bby hes clearly been in a box for like 16 years hes so stiff :(( nothing a few back and forth transformations wont help!#i love him so much im beside myself im so happy oh my god
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Watched a few "X was surprised by a cat on their birthday/Christmas/another event" videos and now I'm crying 😭😭😭
In all ways but this one, I'm settled in my new home.
#having a cat would make my anxiety so much easier to deal with#and it would make me feel more at home and settled#literally never lived in a place without cats#I'd have to have two though because my roommate and I work such long hours every day that it would make a solo cat lonely#we'd need two so they could look after each other while we're working#i just really want a cat so badly im home alone sobbing watching strangers cry because they have a suprise cat#at this point im about ready to literally beg my roommate for a cat#i cry about not having one every day#im not gonna ask my roommate anymore because i dont wanna annoy him#we said one day and we mean it... but until then i am YEARNING#trying so so so hard to hold it together 🥺 i wont be HOME until we have kitties 🥺
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Having thoughts about Davetrap... Honestly the fact that he's So sentient is so tragic to me. It's like he said he's still a person he just looks different. Even the fact that he still needs food and is eating rats (which he ripped foxy's leg to do so better, unforgivable) yet seems capable of leaving but thing is WHERE to, y'know... I think this is a reality for most non human characters in this game but him being in such a state of disrepair definitely doesn't help, i mean, he literally couldn't be sold off, something he was clearly upset about (I also like that he called the maze shit a gig like that's cute, that's just his job).
Like its just, Dave was never much of anything, at all, we don't even know if this guy has a fucking home, but he still had some things in his favor, he was still somewhat well put and social and shit, so for him to be left like this it's like... I said it like thrice but its tragic its just tragic, man OT2
#luly talks#dsaf#dsaf davetrap#davetrap#dsaf dave#dave miller#im. kinda pained rn. like physically. i think i pulled a muscle too but also my eye spill is acting up#and i have a headache so forgive me not being able to make this post better but i hope my rips my hair off is being conveyed properly#like he's just. so... normal. for the standards he's being held at#HE'S A BETTER WORKER THAN JACK BY ALL MEANS FOR CRYING OUTLOUD#i actually am Not forgetting the henry tape that mentions this is the second time dave has been put thru this but i dont remember#the details and i wont look for them bc henry makes me Way too upset in those tapes but if someone wants to quote him be my guest#though i think i did see a fic where dave had to eat a rat im sure it was a fic and not the tape#i thiiiiiinkkkkkkkkk#but yeah its just. he is just kind of tied by hands and feet yknow!#like its super cruel. like he is too far removed from humanity physically to be considered a person. even if he wanted to...#just do anything. get a job. be able to afford shit. live. it'd be fucking Hard#he's literally a fucking cryptid. and his mental state only helps to worsen this. in typical these cunts fashion#nobody dehumanizes them like they dehumanize themselves PRAYING EMOJIIIIIII#its just sad. i'd fix him. i'd fix him so fast. i'd patch him up and wash him. i'd be beautiful. i'd do it. trust me bro. trust me.#<- (has no experience w mechanisms nor textiles arts)#<- ((makes it up w a big and genuine heart tho))
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sometimes people who struggle like to make jokes or find positives about their condition that causes them to struggle so they can escape the constant negative and struggle. sometimes autistic people will say things like "the 'tism" or use the "autism creature" or say their autism helped them have a *positive trait* to feel better about their struggles. because living your life only focusing on the struggles and negatives is depressing and makes it hard to want to live, even if those struggle take up 100% of your life and you can't actually escape them. sometimes any little seemingly positive thing can help a lot.
but there's so many other autistic people that hate when we do that and call it "reducing autism to a cute trendy thing" and say it takes away from *their* struggles and is bad and shouldn't be used. maybe *you* want to only focus on your struggles, but some people can't live in constant negative and need some positive or to find ways to make their condition more positive so they can feel better about living with their struggles. life is hard. I take anything I can get.
I cant get jobs. I can't make and keep friends. I can't get help and support for doing "normal" things so sometimes I go weeks without being able to shower and without eating more than a bowl of cereal a day. most times can't even do things I like. struggle to communicate. have meltdowns. i'll never be able to live independently. I struggle a lot. but instead of sitting here always depressed and having no motivation to live, i'd rather try to joke about "my 'tism is acting up again" when i'm struggling (just an example. don't think I ever actually used the 'tism thing but i saw others use it) or say "i'm just being a creature" when I need to stay in my dark room because everything is too much and I personally find it cute to be a little creature meant in a positive way. i'm not actually downplaying mine or anyone else's struggles. I still acknowledge them and that silly jokes dont make them go away. i'm not trying to be trendy. i'm not doing any of the things people say we do by making silly little jokes. i'm using the silly little jokes to convince myself life can be a little more than pointless, painful garbage all the time.
(continue in tags)
#dont know why continuing in tags but here is more#sometimes we need to ask “why” and not just get mad about how we feel personally. because other people feel differently#yes im guilty of only thinking my feelings and situation and how it relates too and forgetting other peoples. i also need to learn#and everyone's feelings should be valid. just because something might “hurt” you it might be important for someone else#everyones feelings are valid. but we cant protect everyones feeling. so idk the solution#but stopping someone from having a small positive among a sea of nevgative seems a little mean to me#youre not being empathetic to their side. and i can turn it around and be not empathetic to your side and say stop being upset#and get over it and let people have fun. but i wont. i hear you. but at the same time maybe hear us too.#not everyone wants to live only negatively. youre allowed to but dont expect others to.#and yes i GET IT these things can make the allistics and neurotypicals be even worse towards us. but what do we do?#throw out any positivity we can find and grovel in our struggles because the allistics wont take us seriously?#DO THEY TAKE US SERIOUSLY WITHOUT THOSE SILLY TRENDY THINGS? NO! THEY NEVER HAVE#like i said i dont know the solution and everything still be used against us by those people anyway so might as well have fun?#if we focus on struggles they baby us and dont let us do things and block us from living life#if we focus on positive they dismiss our struggles and try to make us do what we cant and dont help us#we cant win! so its not “the 'tism” or whatever other things people made up that cause them to act this way#they already act that way and wont stop unless we figure out how to teach them! but i dont know how! im just a useless little creature#this is probably controversial and someone will get because i dont agree with their perspective despite respecting it#someome will comment to lecture me even though i get it. i do. but two things can exist at the same time!! idk what to tell you!#autistic#autism#actually autistic#lee rambles#words are hard so dont know if i worded it well or not. probably not#also why take away fun things because another group used it for bad? make them stop the bad not stop the good!#i also might be missing more context. i think is about tiktok using these for bad. tiktok is just bad in general and i refuse to use it#why tiktok dictate and ruin our lives now in general? tiktok is really bad 😂 but that another conversation#no one yell at me and say i dismiss struggles of struggling autistics. maybe you dismiss me needing negative thing to have positive?#not in mood for negative response. will probably cry fhhddhsjdjdjkd#today is real struggle day but if i be little creature i feel better
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My favorite episodes of call the midwife are heart wrenching tales of families falling apart and the characters we love being hurt by it intercut with a silly sub plot of Fred betting on the world cup or the midwives having to put on a Christmas pageant. Or alternatively they cut away from Barbaras death (horrible and tragic) to have someone run into the room crying because JFK was shot
#call the midwife#pbs#call the midwife spoilers#i guess?#i dont think if anyone reads this they wont already know that Barbara dies#not the saddest ctmw death though too me#sister evangelina#her funeral makes me sob so hard every single time i see it#putting the boots on the casket? the funeral director tearing up? the girl getting married in her wedding dress?#it makes me cry so gd hard
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saw this guy film the behind the scenes of him ring shopping and i started crying
#idk what kind of love language it falls under but#its things like that like#the effort put into things#kind of acts of service????? but its like#i couldnt give a damn abt what the ring looks like honestly 😭 its the process of looking for it and testing and everything#when i see hard work and effort oh my god i could cry hahsbshahha#fawkkkkkkkk i hate this#ive been so emotional abt stuff like this latey#anyway i have smething so deeply personal that i want to say but wont bc#aiksjdkxndjcjc#i talked so much again
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the current state of the arg
sorry guys the art isnt arting D:
(btw if youre confused on why i drew turnip like that i was referencing the picrew he did ages ago bc idk it looked fun to draw anddd i dont like taking reference off real life images)
#i felt like just a lillll bit of a creep relistening to voice messages over and over to find a good quote but. yk what. it was worth it#i totally didnt take reference from the really cool face i used in that animation because im still really proud of it#idk if emi or TD have a sona but if they do im not aware of it and i didnt feel like asking so i just drew both of them as blank characters#im too stressed to scheme lol#maybe#just maybe#i need to stop drinking tea because the caffiene makes me anxious#...#naaaaahhhh#i dont really know what to do with myself atm because i dont want to work on the animation unless turnon is ok out of pure spite#this morning i was absolutely radiating stress#i have a friend who shows up so we can walk together to school and she could tell smth was off lol#i literally could not hide it at all even if i wanted too#i kept pulling my hat over my face thats the main way you can tell that im stressed#not that it really matters that you know that bc none of you are ever gonna witness that but. fun fact abt me ig#ugh#if turnon dies i am gonna cry so hard <333#and i wont finish the animation <333333333#(at this point just trying anything to get turnon back)#im gonna make a word doc#i make word docs when im stressed /hj#quick question turnip : is there a way to get turnon out of the situation he is in or is he just gonna die and theres nothing we can do#about it /gen#because i have a sneaky suspicion that we cant actually do anything about this#i swear to god#LETS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE!!#A DEFRAG MIGHT COME OUT TMR!!#its been 21 days and a defrag takes on average 20-25 days#ough#turnip and addon im gonna find where you live and i will burn your respective houses down
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ptsd is being such a bitch to me tonight guys. your girl is not doing well.
#i don’t want to feel this way#but i don’t know how to stop it#i just feel myself spiraling out of control again and all of these thoughts keep coming with it#it wont leave me alone#i want it to leave me alone#i don’t want to go on more meds bc they fucked me up even more and i want to be able to think#but my heart has started pounding so quickly again that i can’t focus on anything else#i feel so empty and weird and vague#december is always a bad time and it’s hard when i don’t have class or work as a distraction#i’m always on the verge of crying and#i just do all these breathing techniques that don’t work#and i just lay in a ball on my bed shaking and hurting#you know it’s bad when even writing doesn’t calm me down#ocd combining with ptsd is a hell of a thing#how can you calm yourself down when you’re not thinking rationally and it won’t leave your head#part of me just wants to panic and get it over with but i feel like if i start i won’t be able to stop and just simply fly into hysterics#idk#just haven’t felt this bad in a while#i just want to get out of my head so bad#i wish i could turn thinking off#sorry i know y’all aren’t my therapist and i should get my own#but im still on my parents insurance and i don’t think they would allow that#i don’t mean to vent#i just feel really hopeless and shit rn#anyway#i’m going to try to sleep and hope it will be better in the morning#it wont be tho lol#nothing is ever better#bc the universe and god hate me
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