#it wont leave me alone
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AM I BLANCHIN GIRL WE BLANCHIN✅I LIVE UP.IN A MANSION🍃💨
eHEHEHEHEEEGEGEHEHE
#ive been asked#andiv3r rambles about gravity falls#technically#lmao#rhat song got stuck in my head for so long adter my recent rewatch#it wont leave me alone
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ptsd is being such a bitch to me tonight guys. your girl is not doing well.
#i don’t want to feel this way#but i don’t know how to stop it#i just feel myself spiraling out of control again and all of these thoughts keep coming with it#it wont leave me alone#i want it to leave me alone#i don’t want to go on more meds bc they fucked me up even more and i want to be able to think#but my heart has started pounding so quickly again that i can’t focus on anything else#i feel so empty and weird and vague#december is always a bad time and it’s hard when i don’t have class or work as a distraction#i’m always on the verge of crying and#i just do all these breathing techniques that don’t work#and i just lay in a ball on my bed shaking and hurting#you know it’s bad when even writing doesn’t calm me down#ocd combining with ptsd is a hell of a thing#how can you calm yourself down when you’re not thinking rationally and it won’t leave your head#part of me just wants to panic and get it over with but i feel like if i start i won’t be able to stop and just simply fly into hysterics#idk#just haven’t felt this bad in a while#i just want to get out of my head so bad#i wish i could turn thinking off#sorry i know y’all aren’t my therapist and i should get my own#but im still on my parents insurance and i don’t think they would allow that#i don’t mean to vent#i just feel really hopeless and shit rn#anyway#i’m going to try to sleep and hope it will be better in the morning#it wont be tho lol#nothing is ever better#bc the universe and god hate me
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not me seeing new rochelle pop up in the document i was reading at work
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shay in a tricorn hat shay in a tricorn hat shay as a highwayman in a black tricorn hat
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Day 6..
Please.. (i used my phone to record this sorry..)
#it wont leave me alone#im scared#felix daviii11#daviii11#davii11#analog horror#analog blog#cat#horror audio
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i might have to do it
i might have to write some columbo + death note fic just to get it the fuck out of my brain
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if i get that spotify ad thats like “santa’s not the only one with a sack 😏” one more time im gonna lose it
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i was doing fine for awhile but it* always comes back. it* always comes back.
*knowing how fucking loved leia would have been by her father if he’d gotten to be her father and knowing how supportive anakin would have been over her snarky little chaos gremlin ways
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Tumblr: you reblogged a bunch of talking cat movie shit so here's Shrek everywhere you absolute TWAT have fun
Facebook: you liked a post about the talking cat movie allow us to bombard you with 3828482+ variants of the same post since you like the movie so much you absolute fucking DINGUS
Youtube, recommending me "Primetime" movies for buy or rent: guess what :)))))))
#puss in boots#puss in boots the last wish#puss in boots 2#pib#pib2#pibtlw#IT WONT LEAVE ME ALONE#OH MY GOD MAN HELP#I LOVE THE MOVIE BUT SOCIAL MEDIA IS TRYING TO BEAT ME OVER THE HEAD WITH IT#THATS MY PURSE I DONT KNOW YOU#i know that by posting about it im digging my own grave but listen#i like to make the funny hahas
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Chapters: 1/? Fandom: Star Wars: The Acolyte (TV) Rating: Mature Warnings: Major Character Death Relationships: Master Sol/ Original Jedi Character Characters: Sol the Jedi (Star Wars), Original Female Character(s), Jecki Lon, Vernestra Rwoh, Osha Aniseya, Mae Aniseya, Qimir | The Stranger (Star Wars), Yord Fandar Additional Tags: I Am Unwell About This Godforsaken Show, Sol is an idiot but he is MY IDIOT thank you very much, I Had To
#gen writes#i HAD TO YOU DONT UNDERSTAND#IT WONT LEAVE ME ALONE#expect art later when I have the motivation#raeth niira my dear I am about to ruin your life
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I’n rememebering stuff i shouldn’t he rememebering now
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I had a vision.....
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this song be representing my mental state fr (my depression is getting worse and the voices are getting louder end my suffering please i beg you i cant keep going on like this please just end this repeating cycle i beg of you just end my fucking life i cant go on anymore even the fucking voices are telling to jump off a building and that fucking creature is getting closer and it wont stop tapping on the window god please fucking end me already)
#vent? ish?#vent?#schizoposting#actually mentally ill#please end my fucking suffering#end my misery#I FUCKING HATE MY LIFE#KILL ME ALREADY#LET ME JUST FUCKING DIE ALREADY#I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE#FUCKING KILL MEEEEEE#PPLERAWDXEEE#FUCKIGNRFGDS SHIT#FUCKIGNG#FUCK#I HATE THE TAPPING STOP THE TAPPING#IT WONT LEAVE ME ALONE#IT WONT GO AWAY#ITS ALWAYS WATCHING ME#ITS FOLLOWING ME#GOD SAVE ME FROM THIS NIGHTMARE#I HAVE SEEN ITS FACE#I NOW HAVE TO PAY THE CONSEQUENCES#IT WILL NOT STOP UNTIL IM GONNA GO FUCKING INSANE#NOT EVEN MY FLUCKING CLOSER PEOPLE WILL HELP ME#I HATE TAKING MY ANTI DEPRESSANTS#I HATE TAKING MY MEDS#FUCK EVERYTHING#IM SICK OF THIS SHIT#LKEAVE ME ALONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
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literally cannot stop thinking about how intentional it is in pvp civilization that people refer to evbo as "kid" or tell him he is "just a kid". it isn't just a headcanon that he is probably a teenager he IS a teenager. he's impulsive like a teenager, he's naive like a teenager, he doesn't understand romance like a teenager, he's materialistic and looking for anything that will give him comfort or happiness like a teenager because he IS A TEENAGER. he's a kid. he's a kid cursed with immortality, and what do people do with that? abuse it. evbo is a kid in a horrible, violent society, and he knows nothing else, but he still believes, naively, like a kid, that there are people who are better than this society. he tells zam that he and the iron swords don't need to farm him, that it will do them no good. what about his life? what about tabi's? and he forgets where he is. what he is.
in this society, evbo is not a child. in this society, evbo is not the "chosen one". he is a tool. he is an object. what do you do with tools and objects? you use them.
and yet evbo still stands there, a kid. and the adults of this society exploit that. he is just a kid, he doesn't get it. he is just a kid, he doesn't realize how many lives he's saving. he is just a stupid, naive, vulnerable kid with too much love and too much hope in his heart. we can use that.
he is a calf standing on wobbly knees born knowing it is destined for the slaughterhouse.
#ohhhh my god#i watched like all of this series yesterday and it WONT LEAVE ME ALONE#he's just a kid.#he's just a child#he is a CHILD#he doesn't understand why the world is like this but he knows that it IS like this#and that's why he thinks that there are some people who can be different. kinder.#he doesn't understand why they're cruel so he thinks that maybe he can find that shred of empathy somewhere#and he fails#because he is just a kid and they are the cruel exploitative adults of this society#anyways!#mcyt#minecraft youtube#evbo pvpciv#pvpciv#pvp civilization#pvp evbo#evbo#just yapping#pvpciv essay#pvp civ
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