#so i wanted to make a gifset of it to make a reminder to myself lol

[katebeckets]

AMIDST THE CHAOS: An MSR Playlist ⤷ Part One: Mulder

It's the heart in you, I know it in my bones, that made me change direction when I thought better off alone.

playlist / songs ↘

FAVOR by Julien Baker / "Who put me in your way to find? What right had you not to let me die?" I think in the context of an MSR playlist, this song speaks to Mulder's self-destructive and self-sacrificial tendencies and how he comes to learn that Scully does what she does for him — "I used to think about myself like I was a talented liar / turns out that all my friends were trying to do me a favor / I always want to tell the truth but it never seems like the right time to be serious enough / ... / how long do I have until I've spent up everyone's good will?"

FOUR by Sleeping at Last / The lyrics featured in the gifset are from this song: "This blurry photograph is proof; of what, I’m not sure, but it feels like truth" is such a Mulder line. I'm not sure what enneagram I would guess Mulder is, but I think there's something to this song and his tendency to seek out the extraordinary/learning to find the beauty and mystery in the ordinary. Plus the line right before the one above: "I've fallen in love with a ghost / I lost my balance when I needed it most." And in an MSR context: "What if we already are who we've been dying to become? / In certain light, I can plainly see a reflection of magnificence hidden in you... maybe even in me."

I LOVE YOU, I'M SORRY by Gracie Abrams / Anyway... pain!! This song describes how Mulder loves so well: "I like to slam doors closed / Trust me, I know it's always about me / I love you, I'm sorry." And I think it touches an important point about how trauma can impact behavior: wanting to do better is one part of healing, but sometimes we end up in patterns despite ourselves. It doesn't mean that it's not on us to do better, but there can be a feeling of helplessness that comes with trying to do better and failing, knowing you're hurting others and wishing you were learning faster.

SOON YOU'LL GET BETTER by Taylor Swift / This song is so devastating to begin with—truly one of my favorite songs ever—and it is absolutely the worst thing ever to think about the cancer arc and this song :) This whole song fits cancer arc (and abduction arc/literally any time Scully is hurt) so well, but I especially die when I think about the bridge: "And I hate to make this all about me, but who am I supposed to talk to? What am I supposed to do if there's no you? / This won't go back to normal / if it ever was / it's been years of hoping / but I keep saying it because / 'cause I have to." And if you really want to hurt, watch this incredible video. It's fine, I'm fine.

READY TO LOSE by Ingrid Michaelson / The chorus really says it all: "I'm ready to lose everything but you." This song is also where the lyrics I featured in the post come from: "It's the heart in you, I know it in my bones, that made me change direction when I thought better off alone."

ANYWHERE BUT HERE by SafetySuit / Something something abduction arc... "and when I'm not with you / yeah, I know that it's true / that I'd rather be anywhere but here without you."

RUT by the Killers / "So I'm handing you a memory I hope you understand / that steadily reminds you of who I really am." This song reminds me of I Want to Believe; I think it's some of what I imagine Mulder to feel when Scully prepares to leave.

COME AROUND by Rosi Golan / "You feel like breathing / come around, come around, come around, come around to me / can't you see you're my lifeline?" To me, this song feels like a companion to "Rut."

A THOUSAND YEARS by Christina Perri / Cliché, I know, but hear me out — "The Field Where I Died." I know their conversation is Mulder asking Scully about it, but it's so Mulder to believe that they've known each other and been friends, always. "I have loved you for a thousand years, I'll love you for a thousand more."

THE ARCHER by Taylor Swift / "And all of my heroes die all alone / help me hold on to you." There's something so, so beautiful about the way this song builds — "they see right through me, they see right through me, they see right through—can you see right through me? they see right through me, they see right through me, I see right through me, I see right through me." And the way the questions that are asked—"Who could ever leave me, darling? But who could stay?"—are then answered: "you could stay." And guess what? Scully does.

LET YOUR HEART HOLD FAST by Fort Atlantic / This song was one of the choices I almost put for the description: "to believe I walk alone is a lie that I've been told." I've always loved the core message of this song — let your heart hold fast, for this soon shall pass — and it makes me think of Mulder surviving all these years of loss, especially with Samantha.

ORPHEUS by Sara Bareilles / I think there's a theme of "don't give up on me" in these songs, but I think this one adds softness because it goes beyond what Mulder perceives as his own personal shortcomings to speak more generally: "don't stop trying to find me here amidst the chaos / though I know it's blinding there's a way out, say out loud: we will not give up on love now." The beginning of the song makes me think of Mulder as a child: "I know you miss the world, the one you knew—the one where everything made sense because you didn't know the truth." And then one of my all-time favorite lines: "if the bottom drops out, I hope my love was someone else's solid ground." And really, Mulder is love.

PEACE by Taylor Swift / I'm so glad that we get to see Mulder grow over the course of the series and that this song begins to take on new meaning, but I think this song speaks well to the idea that chasing ghosts and monsters is part of who he is, as well as his worry that that isn't going to be good enough, that he can't be what Scully needs—"would it be enough if I could never give you peace?" I think by the end of the series, the meaning of this song can change to refer more to the questions that may never be answered, rather than Mulder's difficulty giving up the chase, which reflects his growth in his partnership and relationship with Scully. But I also think this feels like a very Mulder song because there is so much insecurity; I think at the core of his character is a sense of unworthiness, and it's part of what's so beautiful about his relationship with Scully—eventually, he's able to give her the peace that she brings him.

[coldflashevents]

COLDFLASH WEEKEND IS HERE

Hello all, and welcome to the first Coldflash event of 2024!

Our first event of the year is a mini weekend event in which everyone can share fanworks based on a selection of prompts chosen by all of you!

Fan art, fanfiction, moodboards, playlists, gifsets, videos, edits... all contributions are welcome and we are so happy to have you :D

As a quick reminder, the prompts for this events are as follows:

Day 1:

I thought I lost you

Secret relationship

Day 2:

Time travel shenanigans

Accidental dating/didn’t know they were dating

Bonus Prompt (post on either day):

Alternate Earths

I'm also pleased to announce that the AO3 collection for the event is now open, and can be accessed here! Remember to share your works to the collection (if you'd like) so we can all see them and enjoy.

The tag for the event is #cfjune24, so remember to tag all your creations (and if you could tag us @coldflashevents that would also be super helpful—we want to make sure we don't miss any of your hard work!)

We also request that you use appropriate tags for any potentially sensitive/triggering content (things like nsfw, self harm, suicide, graphic depictions of violence, etc.)

Myself and the other mods will be here reblogging and sharing your creations all weekend, and we're very excited to get started!

So without further ado... happy coldflashing! :D

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

happy new year everyone!! 🌟✨ it's been almost exactly a year since i first tentatively poked my head into this little space here on tumblr, and being part of the wonderful am/miles/tlsp community here with you all has truly been one of the highlights of my 2023 💗

as i'm sure is the case for most of us, it's been a year of ups and downs for me. i've been lucky enough to experience some amazing things (living in a new city, reconnecting with my creativity, getting my dream job, discovering music that speaks to my soul, making new friends, reading some amazing books) and human enough to experience some less incredible things (chronic pain, family difficulties, discovering my dream job is not in fact my dream job, getting long covid, the ever uphill battle of healing from trauma). through it all, this space has been a continued solace and source of joy, where i've met some truly special people and felt part of a little community where i get to have fun and flail and just be me. i can't even begin to express how grateful i am to be part of a space like this, or how grateful i am to everyone here who makes it what it is ✨

i also just wanted to say a quick thank you to everyone who has supported me with my writing over this past year, whether that's through kudos or comments or messages or amazing cheerleading/editing help. one of the absolute gifts of discovering this fandom has been the writing fic side of it. maybe it sounds silly, but writing four walls has genuinely been one of the highlights and biggest achievements of my year. writing has always been something incredibly close to my heart, but my degree left me totally sapped of inspiration and confidence, and i'd been struggling for a while to climb out of that after graduating. something about alex and miles just instantly sparked off inspiration in me that i hadn't felt for a long time, and getting to write about them over the past year has reminded me of the sheer joy of creating and the magic of getting to share that with people ✨

it's something that's finally given me the confidence to pick up my own original writing again too, and i couldn't be more grateful to alex and his wonderful lyrics (particularly the entirety of humbug) and to everyone who's supported my fic ventures for helping me reconnect to and explore my creativity. it's the best feeling in the world to finally feel like i'm coming home to that part of myself and carving out a proper space for it in my life 💗

2023 was far from perfect, but it was filled with so many brilliant moments of illumination and i feel i am leaving it with a deeper sense of myself and my path moving forward. i know it's going to be a rocky one at times, but i am excited for what 2024 holds in store for me - and i can't wait to continue flailing with you all over all things milex and to enjoy all the amazing fics/gifsets/posts/art to come!

wishing all of you a year ahead full of wonderful moments and new experiences and fulfilment 💫✨ i really am more grateful than i'll ever be able to adequately express for this space here, and to all the amazing people i've been lucky enough to get to know through it. here's to an amazing 2024 for all of us 💗💞🩷💓💖💕💝

(the photos above are just a random little collection of ones over the past year that i particularly associate with the various things i've talked about in this post)

[bloodied-serpent]

i hope you know you are driving me & my friends up the walls (in the best way) with your comments on our gifsets about emhyr and cahir. you get them, truly.

tell me more pls 👀

Thank you, I'm so happy to torture you with my tags.

I do want to give major credit to both actors, because the physicality in their scenes is *phenomenal* visual storytelling. The delivery of their lines, from their body language to the tone of voice and the microexpressions, has so much nuance that it creates a really compelling dynamic between the two of them. In every interaction between the two of them, there is purpose behind everything, and it elevates the scenes.

In terms of the characters themselves, vengeance is an ouroboros, and I think this shows in how both of them navigate the world.

What fascinates me about Emhyr is how he weaves the illusion of the White Flame- this untouchable leader who is not only certain in his plan, not just guaranteed to succeed, but he acts like he's already won. His posturing is so cleverly constructed to manipulate the person(s) in front of him. We see this in how he interacts with the dwarf bladesmith, sharing drinks but reminding her of the fact they are not, can not, and will not *ever* be the same. The dwarf says as much, blatantly stating he'd kill her if the sword was faulty. And he doesn't shy away from the admission. He leans into it, cultivates that quiet fear that makes people obey. We never see Emhyr without a signifier of his position. He welcomes Cahir back in armour, as the army leader. He wakes Cahir in elaborate dress, as the emperor. Emhyr is always performing, even when he is alone, and that is his tragedy. He only ever dares hesitate when he is alone, but even as he burns the remnants of his old life, he is not allowed to be himself. He is not permitted to be Emhyr. Emhyr is the ashes of a portrait he threw in that brazier. He is the White Flame, because *that* is who will get him what he wants.

And the show emphasises how everything around Emhyr is cyclical. He condemned Fringilla to unending wine, letting her poison herself just as she poisoned his trust. He drinks with his weapon crafter, in moderation and in good spirits. He banished Cahir to the border, where he had to fight tooth and nail for his life, because he sought to cut Emhyr away from his goal. He asks Cahir to kill the only friend he has, knowing Cahir forgets the word "no" around him.

Cahir, on the other hand, is grappling with his sense of self. The only constant in his life is his king, and his king has no mercy for Cahir. Cahir cannot see choice past yearning for Emhyr, because all he has known is loyalty to him. And this hesitation, this doubt, it's apparent. And Emhyr does not hesitate to exploit it. He understands, I feel, on a fundamental level, that Emhyr understands the fact Cahir treads a fine line between his loss of self and finding one that doesn't need a king. Everything Emhyr does, from rousing Emhyr and using the advantage of his still-hazy mind to feed him crumbs enough to satisfy the ache in his heart before he asks the impossible. Something Cahir is more than willing to do, because it's for Emhyr. And this is validated- brilliantly portrayed- by how Emhyr uses language to alienate Cahir from the Others, effectively telling him things like "do it for us" because he KNOWS how desperate Cahir is for there to be an "us"

And I don't necessarily mean a romantic or sexual us here, it's more that Cahir at his core has a need to belong. So what does Emhyr do? "I wanted to welcome you back myself." Entering his room, throwing him his trousers and sitting with him, shoulder to shoulder, looking him in the eye, and telling him what he wants to hear, all the while affirming his standing as the arbiter of life itself. "Fringilla is dead. You are here," he says, meaning "You are here because I have permitted you to be."

Cahir shatters the mirror, whereas Emhyr burns the portrait. One has potential for introspection. The other is a cut link. We see how killing the elf affects Cahir, how he crumbles inward from the act. There is no one to catch him, and he doesn't recognise who he sees in the mirror, but he's not able to let go. And who would? When you have that security, that fragile peace where all you need to do is obey and you'll be rewarded, why step out of line? He tried it, and it almost got him killed. That is what makes this riveting. Cahir is painfully aware of the danger his doubt brings. And he still voices it anyway, sat side by side with the White Flame, he asks "How do you know when someone's a good leader" but he means "How do I know you're what's best for me?" And Emhyr deflects, using Cahir's need against him to placate him.

Emhyr communicates his inner world beautifully - he lays out expectations rather directly, like when he told Cahir "You did as I asked without hesitation." Hesitation is crucial to Emhyr's character, because it is his weak spot. He clutches the portrait of baby Ciri in his arms as he walks away, carrying only his agenda into the future. He buries anything that will not further his obsession, letting it suffocate and rot, instead of killing it outright, because he fears its ghost too much.

Cahir's woe is intelligence, in that he is aware of it all. He's aware of his need, of his desperation, but he's too afraid to break the cycle. The gravitational pull of Emhyr's influence keeps him in this unending loop of doubt and breakdowns and having his faith affirmed, and he's not allowed to change, because if he regains his sense of self, he will no longer be a malleable asset. Cahir can't seem to fix himself up, which shows in how he has looked throughout the season. Hair and clothes unkempt and rough, the most he managed was washing his face. Compare that with the jewellery and velvet Emhyr wore to wake him, and you get two very different worlds that mirror each other. Emhyr is scared to be himself, Cahir is scared of not being who Emhyr wants him to be.

[gothamsaved]

` ＊ PERMANENT INTERACTION CALL.

To keep this as short as I can — as someone with bad anxiety but a stronger want to start poking Mutuals more, I figured putting something like this out there helps a ton to know who is alright with me being a friendly pest. It’s meant to reassure me people are alright with me kicking their doors in with my muses.

` ＊ INTERACTING WITH THIS POST LETS ME KNOW YOU’RE OKAY WITH THE FOLLOWING …

↳ You’re alright with me sending you *Askmemes as soon as I see they’ve been reblogged along with sending the occasional *Unprompted Ask or *Surprise Short Starter. Sometimes they’ll just be Bruce commenting on ongoing threads — think dash-commentary style. Others are just *IC / OOC Questions. Basically this just gives me permission to be a menace to your inbox without feeling guilty.

↳ You’re alright with me replying to any *Open Starters I spot, even if we already have one or more threads ongoing. Just a heads up I will aim to keep these short since they’re usually spontaneous threads done for fun. If they happen to get longer? I’m here for it!

↳ You’re alright with me tagging you in *Dashgames when I do come across them. Along with tag you in *Musings, Aesthetics &&. *Muse Song Posts if they remind me of your muse &&. our interactions.

↳ Piggy backing off the last point, there are no promises made, but if it’s alright that I make the occasional *Edit through *Gifsets of your muse or our muses dynamic, *Aesthetic Edit Posts or *Web Weavings. Even the occasional *Drawing / Doodle. Chances are, if I’m inspired or invested enough &&. have the time to spare, I do enjoy doing these for close Mutuals!

↳ You’re alright with me making *Headcanon Posts as our muses dynamics develop through ongoing interactions. This is a recent thing I’m trying to start doing more of, where I make headcanon *Directories for muses on my end to better keep track &&. document HC’s. I heavily value developing bonds between me &&. my writing partners muses so if it is alright with Mutuals that their muse is *mentioned in posts like this?

Please let me know in a comment or DMs! Usually I will ask permission to write these out beforehand.

↳ You’re alright with me giving you my *Discord so we can talk more OOC to chat or to discuss ideas &&. our current threads / plot possible future ones. I struggle with this, but I would really love to discuss headcanons more when they crop up, along with just getting more used to screeching to partners about how much I loved recent replies. Just a warning is I am a little shy &&. my social battery can vary between extra outgoing to having no energy to respond back, so as long as that’s alright! I am making grabby hands!

＊ Please note that interacting with this post also gives you permission to do any of these things right back. If you want me to do only some of these things but not others, please, feel free to comment in the notes or let me know in private.

↳ Lastly, if you have yet to fill out my *Interest Tracker — I highly urge you to so I know how best to approach you in the future along with what dynamics you’re interested in pursuing! It’s not mandatory but it helps so so much.

The purpose of this post is simply meant to reassure that there is a shared interest in interacting more in the future, mainly for my own anxiety since I do struggle a lot with pushing myself to poke new folks without feeling like I’m being a bit of a bother. It’s usually why I rely heavily on starter calls &&. inbox calls so I have that known permission to toss my muses people’s way.

[suffersinfandom]

gifset by seraph-novak

So there’s a critique of this scene (and Ed in season two as a whole) that I haven’t been able to shake. The post went into how the whole mermaid sequence was ruined by the rest of the season -- about how this beautiful scene was, put in the context of Ed’s behavior in the rest of season two, an ominous rebirth of a villain. The writer couldn’t see Ed as a protagonist finding the will to live; they saw a monster getting another chance to terrorize his victims.

I really hate that. I’ve already typed way too much about how I don’t think that Ed is abusive or that the Kraken Era was all that bad, so of course I disagree with any take that characterizes Ed as a monster. But do you know why this post stuck with me?

It made me unreasonably sad.

There’s a danger in over-identifying with characters (and I do think that a lot of the tension in OFMD fandom comes from over-identification), but it’s so easy for me to understand what Ed’s going through in the first three episodes of season two. I’ve been there. Judging by this post, many of us have been where Ed is. 

We’ve struggled to live while we’re drowning. We’ve been trapped and hopeless and desperate for a reason to keep going -- for someone to give us hope that things can be better. 

And we’ve also hurt people in our despair. 

When I was in my Kraken Era, I was a sick college student who’d been fighting depression since middle school. I’d just escaped a “friendship” with someone who (I can admit in retrospect) abused me mentally and emotionally, and I had no other friends because that person had effectively isolated me. I was alone and I was convinced that I was a fundamentally unlovable person who had no right to exist. 

I pushed the few people I had around me away. I isolated myself from my mother as much as I could while living in her house. I cut off communication with my online acquaintances (who would later become good friends) and didn’t speak to anyone at school. For a while, I was so focused on my pain and self hatred that I barely thought about other people. It was an intensely selfish and self-centered existence, and I hurt my mom and everyone who could’ve been a friend. When you're in that desperately hopeless, depressed mindset, you don't care about hurting people because your own pain is so all-consuming. If anything, you want to hurt others so they'll give up on you in the same way you've given up on yourself.

It’s different from what Ed did, of course, because he’s not me and I wasn’t a pirate captain with the lives of a crew in my hands. The harm I could cause was severely limited by my lack of power, but I still caused it. I was still trying to isolate and cut ties and push away anyone who could’ve helped me even when I desperately wanted help. I wasn’t a good person.

Watching Ed go through a self-destructive arc that’s immediately identifiable, deeply personal, and so well done was incredible, and seeing the show support him instead of demonizing his behavior? I have no words for the way I felt during season two’s run. 

OFMD makes Ed a sympathetic character who’s worth loving even when he’s at his lowest. It gives us a lead who fucks up when he’s in the depths of his despair and it doesn’t pity him or wave away his problems or make a monster out of him. It doesn’t even have his romantic interest save him! Instead, it lets Ed save himself when he realizes that there’s still hope and love out there. 

This show reminded me that we’re not monsters even if we’ve hurt people. It told me that recovery is possible, and so is forgiveness. It asked me to keep loving Ed through his entire arc, and in doing that, it forced me to love the parts of me that I’m still working on as well.

So I know that I shouldn’t be bothered by people who see season two Ed as an irredeemable monster who gets an undeserved second shot at life, y’know? But even though I’m a decade and a half out of my own Kraken Era, I’m still in a perpetual state of recovery. There’s always a persistent doubt -- a suspicion that there’s a fundamental flaw in me that no amount of therapy will fix -- and that doubt latched onto some random person’s conviction that Ed is a monster. It says, If Ed will always be a monster, what about you?

And I know that voice is wrong because it’s always been a liar. I know that it doesn’t matter that some portion of the fanbase turned on Ed in season two because that man isn’t real and he’s not me. I know that, for people who haven’t experienced something that was reflected in Ed’s arc, it might be difficult to sympathize with him (and with real life people who blow their lives up in their despair). 

There will always be people who don’t understand or can’t empathize with that kind of desperate hopelessness, but there are also many, many people who get it… and some of those people were clearly in season two's writer’s room. Some of those people are in this fandom.

I guess what I’m getting at is this: I hope that, if you saw yourself in Ed’s early season two story, you know that you’re not a monster and you’re not a villain in someone else’s story, no matter what anyone else says. I hope you know that you’re worthy of love. 

I hope you know you’re not alone.

[narastories]

catching up about fandom stuff

Oh, hi! Do you mind if I ramble a bit?

I feel like I've been a little distant and antisocial in the past few months due to personal stuff (mainly because my trauma bucket got kicked over many, many times, but also I've been trying to get the ball rolling on a few things I've been meaning to do for a while). And I know I'm not the only one who has been having a hard time. But now it's spring here, and I'm feeling a little hopeful and a bit more inspired. Is it just me? Do we dare to be hopeful??

I'm reminding myself that both of my favorite urban fantasy series, and main fandoms nowadays are due a new book maybe this year, and that is exciting and very much things to look forward to! It also makes me want to quickly write fic ideas I have before the canon status quo changes lol (Not that it matters. I believe you can write whatever you want. But with both of these series, we love to theorize about what is going to happen, so it feels like things are just not going to be the same when we get new pieces of information, you know?)

I'm also acutely aware that I haven't posted a Harry/Nic fanfic since the OTP challenge in NOVEMBER 2022 wtf. And uh, yeah. If you needed any further proof of my poor mental health then it is probably proof enough that I haven't touched my favorite obscure little OTP.

The good news is, that I have actually been inspired to write lately. I'm doing a little re-read of the FPA books, and also Skin Game, and it's all putting me back in the mood for fanfic. And I have been typing away for the past few weeks, trying to get back into it.

The bad news is, that I don't feel like posting things yet. I just want to be kind to myself and create without having to worry about sharing it. I know this might sound hypocritical bc I just shared a post about connecting in fandom. At the same time, sometimes it does good for a story to just let it sit and simmer a bit.

There is this expression (that I don't think is actually very popular in the English language) "to write for the drawer" and I never thought that was a bad thing. Sure I write very niche stuff so you would think it doesn't matter either way, but a story is never the same after you release it out into the world. So it's okay to keep it to yourself for a while and tinker with it and enjoy the process.

I also discovered gif making for myself. (If you have seen the gifset I posted yesterday, no you didn't :P I put it on private bc I wasn't happy with it yet. Mainly bc of the subtitle thing. I either have to figure out a clever overlay or venture out into the foreign planes of the internet to forage a little bit more lmao) I think the popularity of gifsets on tumblr is so fascinating, bc it's a format that just isn't very popular elsewhere (or convenient lol). When I was younger in fandom I never had a good enough computer to do this kind of editing. So now it just made me so happy to realize that my computer can do it, and I found it a relaxing activity.

I already dipped my toe in it with that Hellraiser/DF quote gifset, but now I figured out a method to make it look a lot better. And with open source tools too! That made me especially happy lol But I also realized that if I want to post gifsets then I might have to break my "no sideblogs" rule... Anyway, this is just one more thing that I will probably experiment with privately, and then we'll see if I put it out there or not.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is: creative hobbies are important. And if you can bring yourself to do them even when you feel like shit, it usually helps to feel a little less shitty. And that I will incubate my little projects for a while longer and then maybe I will feel like sharing them.

[sophsun1]

This gifset I made of Joan and Jack Kinney's perception that Brian was a carbon copy of his father a lone wolf and selfish man vs Justin knowing that was the furthest thing from the truth hits even harder when you flashback to 1.02 where Brian has such a visceral reaction to Ted yelling at Michael "Where do people get off thinking I'm not a kind person? I happen to be very kind, very loving/ My only responsibility is to myself I don't owe anybody a goddamn thing."

Selfish is such a prominent word in his life. We hear it from many of his so called friends. He's selfish and can't or won't love anyone or anything. Yet his actions towards them even when they don't deserve it show the complete opposite. You can sort of see why it cuts so deep when he hears these words "selfish and responsibility" in the context of the scenes with his parents.

We have Joan in church telling Brian he reminds her of Jack, he's equally as selfish always letting her down and mocking her love for God. How she took Jack's abuse and beatings to protect him though we the audience know Brian had his own share of abuse from him both physical and emotional along with his mother's neglect and alcoholism. He denies this but she won't hear of it. Adding on to her previously telling him her new priest has been like a son to her and now Brian has the power to destroy her entire world view and he doesn't. There's also a weird sort of parallel where now instead of her biological son being like her husband, her surrogate son is just like the son she rejects and is ashamed of.

Jack proudly announcing he's a chip off the old block not made to be a family man, Brian agreeing. Throw in the bombshell that if it was up to him, Brian wouldn't even exist. This man who shirked all responsibilities as a husband, a father and role model to his children telling his son who he wished was never born that he is just like him. Imagine the mind fuck. His line about not letting the ladies tie him down, Brian knowing he would never be accepted if he ever came out to him. Then buttering him up for cold hard cash, even though Brian had it ready and waiting because he knew that's all he's worth to him. Which leads me to the anger I feel towards Mel and Lindsey who immediately jump on Brian about his financial responsibility to Gus. Wanting him to sign a life insurance policy because his "lifestyle" according to Mel makes him more of a risk factor. They don't want him to be fully physically involved but they'll take his money. Here comes the theme of death once more, his father didn't want him to exist but he'll take his money. Mel and Lindsey, pointing out if he dies it doesn't matter as long as Gus profits. Yet he fought so hard for Lindsey in the custody battle for J.R, funding it all when he never got that same unwavering support when it came to Gus. Wanting so steadfastly to take care of Justin financially when they were together and apart because that's how he has been made to feel with Gus and his father. So many layers. Sonny boy indeed.

Is it any wonder? Brian Kinney never believed in love and thought it only lead to bitterness and resentment, and settling down meant settling into a toxic environment where hatred flourished. Especially as your parents are your first example of love and family. You literally are the product of that union in most cases, it's a fundamental part of your childhood and has a deep effect on you ergo why therapists always lead with "So tell me about your relationship with your mother/father."

WHICH IS WHY WE SHOULD HAVE HAD A SEASON DEDICATED TO THIS ASPECT!

Ultimately people are always wanting a piece of Brian. The raw, unfiltered Brian Kinney that Justin sees and accepts and loves is not good enough for them. Sure they have their moments and he's by no means perfect but Justin doesn't want to intrinsically change him, he encourages him to be better and we see Brian respond to this. They blow hot and cold, his Peter Pan complex is embarrassing it's time to grow up! Brian tries to change, no this isn't the Brian we know and love, we prefer the old version of him come back! With his friends he's made to feel responsible for their mistakes and fuck ups, to be a support to them, to help rescue them even to his own detriment at times. To feel guilt at his existence in their lives and how it affects them, as financial support or simply telling him how to react/feel to really major emotional life events. Debbie insisting he "owed" his father his coming out, telling Joan he had cancer. Michael at his father's death, that regardless of what he did he was still his dad. The amount of pressure that was placed on him was insane the "responsibility" never ends. It goes to the -> I don't owe anybody a goddamn thing! He got himself out of his terrible upbringing, worked hard and got an amazing loft with a job in a career he excels at. No one gave him a hand out. Technically even when they did in the concerned citizens for truth era he paid them back plus extra. He hates feeling indebted to people, or in need, and yes part of that is pride but also because he's the one that is always on standby to be that for others, so where is his room to fail?

[femboymilkovich]

Weekly Tag Wednesday 🌟

Thanks for the tag @iansw0rld✨️🖤

Name: Sarah

Age: 29

Location: California

And now...

Latest music discovery: Crosses! they're so good and I'm happy that I stumbled across them

Latest movie: Last one I watched that I haven't seen before was Shattered

Last TV show you finished: Shameless...again lol

Most recently started book: It's been a while since I've read an actual book lol

Most recent trip out of town: outside of normal shit because I have to leave my town to do literally anything...probably my anniversary weekend

Most recent trip out of the country: Never :(

Most recent gift you made yourself: I made a new gifset this morning that I really liked so that!

Most recent gift you made to someone else: probably the gifset I made Georgia (@iansw0rld)

Most recent text message you received: not gonna write the whole thing out because boring but it was about school pick up for my kid lol

Most recent text message you sent: "sounds good to me" in response to said school pick up plans for my kid

Last fic you read: currently reading one about mobster mickey

Last drink you had: sweet tea

Last thing you ate: barbecue chips lol

Latest piece of clothing you bought: clothes for my kid

Latest piece of advice you received: I honestly couldn't tell you

Latest piece of advice you gave: wasn't necessarily advice but it was a gentle reminder to a friend that the hard choice she had to make was the right one and that she is worthy of love

Latest thing you promised yourself: That I would do better at taking care of myself

Thank you for the tag! <3

Tagging these cuties if you want to partake, if not, this is a friendly boop🖤

@mickittotheman @mickeym4ndy @whatthebodygraspsnot @heymrspatel @onthepyre @jessieoneday @samantitheos

[oddlittlestories]

So I just saw a Dexter gifset about him “not having a next level” and the reminder of how his empathy was handled vs. empathy & ethics in Woe.Begone slingshotted me into ✨Meta Brain Space✨ come into my Meta Danger Circle ⭕️

Disclaimer that I haven’t watched Dexter in a WHILE and I don’t remember a lot of specifics. Also I get a bit critical of Dexter here, so if it’s your fave ever, you might just skip this meta post and go listen to Woe.Begone instead bc I think you’ll like it.

Spoilers ahead.

I’ve tagged it too so you can go blacklist it if you don’t want Woe.Begone spoilers from s1e1-4.

Okay okay so Woe.Begone handles empathy in such such such a cool way. The main character, Mike Walters, tells everything in retrospect in a detached manner, describing how he was terrified / sobbing / etc. *at the moment*. It’s actually impossible for me to tell whether this character has low empathy or atypical expression of empathy.

Like when the challenge is to kill a pig:

goddamnit! I don’t wanna kill a pig! I mean, I know, I eat meat, specifically pork, and so I’ve just been outsourcing this exact labor for my whole life. I’m a hypocrite if I’m willing to let suffering happen as long as it’s just outside my eyeline, but f-fuck it! I can be a hypocrite. I’m worse shit than that all the time. I’m a liar, I’m a bad friend, I’m a shitty podcaster. Just throw “hypocrite” on the heap, it’ll fit right in.

This isn’t a perfect example but you can see how he has a detached approach to his own flaws that I’m not sure I’ve ever seen in a character.

In episode 2, he talks about himself. How he is with people.

[Mike:] I’m not always the best guy. I remember on my freshman floor in college, a new friend was on the phone with her parents, and she was talking about everyone she had just met. When she got to me she said,

MIKE [electronic voice effect]: “There’s the dude, Mike. He’s pretty cool. He’s not nice, but…”

MIKE [normal voice]: Woof. I’d like to think that I’ve done some self-reflection since then but have I really? I tend to bulldoze over other people and their needs and problems more than I should. And more than I would like, I would add. I don’t always like myself and I definitely don’t like when I figure out that I’ve done this. So, this could just be my reputation finally catching up with me… Or it could be WOE.BEGONE.

This feels so incredibly ND to me, especially paired with the flat tone he uses in the show (it’s not monotone, in fact it’s quite engaging, but it IS flat, you should listen to it if you haven’t)

And the show REFERENCES DEXTER. When Mike cuts off his own arm, he puts up plastic sheeting, because his main real reference for the brutal gory IS Dexter.

He decides to do horrible things for the sake of the game bc he decides he wants to win. He reminds himself that a person’s life is more important than feeling embarrassed.

And he goes on a (gentle) rant about how Dexter is a ridiculous show and the only reason he doesn’t get caught is because the PD in the show is ridiculously incompetent.

But having a show make deliberate parallels between Dexter and the MC by making the MC reference the show (even if not referring to the character). And it’s a show ABOUT a clearly ND person, possibly low empathy, deliberately making both ethical and unethical decisions (by his own framework). HOLY MOLY IT’S GIVING ME THE BRAINROT

Mike unpacks the ethics around half the things he chooses to do. He cares about other people but sometimes verbally logics himself into empathy (in a way that’s often unclear to me—is he speaking that way because he doesn’t know how else to express what he feels? Or because he doesn’t feel it and has to logic himself to the moral decision?)

In some ways you could almost read Woe.Begone as a counter to Dexter. Because Dexter, too, does terrible things with (usually) an ethical framework. He explicitly lacks empathy. He’s handed the moral framework and the narrative pretty much uncritically says “he was always going to be a serial killer. so what was he going to do with that?”

And in Woe.Begone, Mike’s motives are complex. Messy. A little bit of empathy here. Curiosity there. Desire for power in the corner. Fear of consequences looming over him. He wasn’t always going to do Woe.Begone. He makes a deliberate decision. Both for every challenge he completes (as far as I know, I only just finished episode 4). And for the game as a whole. And it’s not about being good, and he claims he’s actually a kind of shitty person. And yet to me he feels like a better person than Dexter so far. Or, at least, less hollow. Filled to the brim with his own internal world.

I’d have to rewatch some Dexter to do a full cross-comparison meta, and I might. But I’m absolutely fascinated by what feels like deliberate narrative comparisons here as Dylan Griggs writes more or less a death game about what I read as a low/atypical empathy character.

[knotwerk]

holy shit i fucking love editing. (remind me i said that in two weeks.) 

i’m working on the proper hydration series finale aka PH6. i finished writing the first draft on 4/6/24, clocking in at 85k words. and then i sat on it for a few days before rereading it, did an extremely cursory once-over edit, and sent it off to my first reader & og beta @demolitionwoman-blog (CHEERS!!!). she started working on the beta, and by the time she hit chapter 3, she made the observation that the next step in the editing process for this might not be a typical beta read, but a structure/development read, and maybe a reverse outline would be a good next step. 

and i was like, i have never heard of a reverse outline. like, i have never heard of most things, really; i just started writing fiction in fucking august 2022 and am having a FUCKING BALL learning by doing. so i googled reverse outline, read the top three hits lol, and was like OH FUCK YES. 

because i do not Outline-outline when i write. all respect to those who do!!!!!, but i just Can Not. i have tried, and i get both daunted and bored, and that combo is like fucking kryptonite to my brain. for a longer piece (or a piece that doesn’t just burst out of my fingertips in response to a gifset or bts drop or tweet or gc comment 😅), i do make a sort of vibes outline. like, i open a fresh doc and splort down all the themey ideas i’m able to put words to at that point, and i make notes on whatever beats have already formed in my head, but it’s loose and sketchy at best. and then i write and see what happens as the story unfolds, and i go back to that notes doc to sort of talk to myself about it, to update the vibe outline as i get further in my draft, etc. 

but PH6 is the longest & most complex thing i’ve written yet, so by the time i got to the end of the first draft—by the time i’d put the whole story into words—i was like, oh my god, what is this. like, has this done the thing i wanted to do, per my vibe outline, and also, what did it actually do, and is it legible (whatever that means; like far be it from me to tell the reader what they should get out of something, but, generally speaking, is it cohesive.). now that i have told the story, like… what the fuck is the story about please, and does it "work." 

so i “finished” my reverse outline yesterday and omfg it’s helping so much and it’s SO EXCITING!!!! LIKE, THIS IS HELPING ME WRAP MY MIND AROUND THE THING I DID, SO I AM BETTER ABLE TO SEE WHAT I AM TRYING TO DO!!!! AND I CAN WORK WITH THAT!!!!!

it’s like i had a bunch of kittens scrambling around in my brain and while i was writing i was like 'oh i love these kittens so much, and i really hope this story herds these kittens effectively so they slow down just enough that people can really see their cute little faces (including me, i am people)' and then i finished the first draft and was like 'ahhh did the story herd the kittens??? i can't tell, they're still moving too fast in my brain' and then the reverse outline showed up and was like I COME BEARING TUNA AND FIFTEEN CARDBOARD BOXES and now i can see the kittens better. 

and then! i slept on it last night, and this morning my brain was like, “oh, here, why don’t i just efficiently articulate the vibes and arrange them in a tidy visual diagram that reveals how they all flow through the story for you?” WHEE!!

and then i got so excited that i had to put it down and write all this instead of working on it further 

(this, which could probably use its own reverse outline lmao)

like, i’m reading Mary Ruefle’s Madness, Rack, and Honey, which is a book of collected lectures that i cannot stop screaming about and that slaps so hard i keep having to throw it across the room, and just the other day i read, in the chapter “On Secrets,” 

I used to think I wrote because there was something I wanted to say. Then I thought, “I will continue to write because I have not yet said what I wanted to say”; but I know now I continue to write because I have not yet heard what I have been listening to.

and i think the reverse outline is helping me hear it a little better, and that is fucking exciting.

[inventedfangirling]

bad buddy fandom getting-to-know-you meme!

ah finally after a gazillion years i've been able to get around to doing this after being tagged by the ever sweet @fiercynn , so lemme straightaway get down to it.

note: i consider "fanworks" to pretty much everything people create related to a fandom, including but not limited to meta/analysis/discussion, gifs, fanvids/edits/fancams, filk, fanart, fanfic, fan food, fan crafts, etc.

name and whatever you want to share about yourself

hello there, i'm a 24 year old gray-ace panromantic desi on the romance positive end of the arospec (im still undergoing the wonderful but also often difficult and long journey of discovering myself so this is subject to change :3), i prefer going by my username so i'm not sharing my name.

when did you watch bad buddy/join the fandom?

i watched bad buddy exactly 3 months ago on the 15th of May, 2023. i watched all the episodes all on the same day and i know the date because after finishing the show i sent a 7 minute long audio note gushing about the show to my best friend. i ADORED it that much. and that's where all of this started. i loved the show so much and the lack of people i knew irl who were interested meant i had to find other people in the fandom to freak out with. i kept posting one after another favourite bad buddy edit of mine on my twitter page, gushing about it, but i got barely any response and that's when i reminded myself that tumblr exists and i should get back on here. and that's how i made this account 2 weeks after i watched the show and voila here i am surrounded by people who are as crazy about the show as i am and i couldn't be more delighted about it :')

favorite ship(s)

patpran and inkpa ofc

favorite character(s)

i love pat with all my heart, the man he ends up becoming along the course of the show is one of my most favorite portrayals of any man ever BUT pran is my actual favorite, he is my baby, (somehow both) my elder and younger brother and my best friend and he has my whole heart. his love, his hesitance, his anxiety, his bravery, his dimples, his FOREHEAD, his striped shirts, his precious heart i would DIE for him no questions asked.

favorite episode(s)

episode 11. each segment had something for the heart, i adored every single second of it...the sheer volume of beaut quotes from this episode is mind blowing! ("being with you already feels like freedom", "i can be anywhere as long as i have you", "we have been happier a lot too", "thankyou for trying to make a silly guy like me happy..." "i wrote this song for him", "one man can't change the world, but this world can't change me too"), and the soft loving looks of adoration making me clutch my chest, but also there was the quintessential patpran banter and bad buddy humour and wisdom i LOVE this episode with all my heart.

episode 5 is perfection. it comes second for me, but that kiss will always be number 1 <3

favorite scene(s)

rooftop kiss, balcony phone call, episode 7 ending when pat comes to save the day and the play, episode 11 red shirts commitment expression scene, and the final credits and post credits scene

one thing you would change about the show if you could

i wished the gangs didnt bully eo or anybody else even in the beginning, i get it shows growth but still i wished that was shown differently. also i wish we got a conversation where they talk about the guitar. and while we're here i wish it was somehow longer, i could have watched ohmnanon be patpran for HOOOURS.

what are your some of your favorite fanworks made by other people?

traffic was slow for the crash years by @fiercynn aka the creator of this meme. i absolutely adored every single second of the fic. despite it giving me a WORLD of pain. all the pain made it more beautiful and everything was worth it in the end. like i said before you took a great thing and made it even better <3

every piece of art that @hereforlou comes up with. you are a GEM!

all of nanons gorgeous gifsets!!

same page video edit that even p'aof tweeted about. SO good.

enchanted (aka patpran's official song) and other patpran edits by this same SO very talented editor

mudhal nee mudivum nee - another beautiful edit but desi so its even better <3

this super clever edit of patpran to message in a bottle. it's an instant serotonin booster for me.

(if you create fanworks) what are your favorite fanworks that you’ve made?

you can hear it in the silence - bad buddy bet era fic (the only one i've written till now)

my bad buddy textposts collection

my pran and pat's growth posts

this post that took me 20 mins to write but is one of my fav things ive written about the show

my long treatise of bet era patpran that took me a week!

list of accounts (hopefully i haven't forgotten any) whose meta and analysis and brainrot i absolutely adore- @miscellar , @telomeke-bbs , @grapejuicegay , @aroceu, @dudeyuri, @dribs-and-drabbles, @dimplesandfierceeyes, @sharingfandoms, @waitmyturtles, @ranchthoughts, @lurkingteapot, @lurkingshan, @thegayneurodivergentagenda, @kenmakaashi, @absolutebl, @charthanry, @bengiyo, @mahuhumaling, @panickedbisexualwatchesbl, @jemmo, @patspran, @fiercynn, @midnightfreeway, @fierceeyesanddimples and a couple more im sure ive missed. it was {and continues to be} a pleasure reading their thoughts about the show (or any other show that we've mutually watched).

a song that makes you think of bbs (the ones in the show don’t count lol)

message in a bottle because of this edit

daylight cos of this edit

enchanted, because of the infinite edits we've got from it and if im not wrong pat ohm has acknowledged it too

and basically all other romantic songs in the history of romance i guess :3

alrighty then i think i'm done with this tag. this was a LOT of fun to compile <3

[usertiff]

while my situation seems to be neverending until disability comes along, i don't want to keep y'all waiting any longer on at least knowing the final day! so the raffle will end august 3rd, 2024. i'm hoping this gives any final participants a chance to enter, as well as give me time to finish up familial duties (i have so many sisters and so many birthdays coming up, i'll be doing lots of babysitting for my sister and my niece, etc). i just want to ensure that by the time i start working on the raffle prizes, i can really dedicate myself to them!

my current situation is about the same (though it's slowly improving with the thought alone that i will have a court hearing for disability sometime this year). barely eating, barely making rent, and behind on many bills. most importantly, i'm trying to raise funds to cremate the pet i just lost.

please note: if i owe you a manip, PLEASE message me! i am very forgetful but i want to ensure i get those to you!

as a reminder of the raffle, i’m going to copy/paste a reminder of what the raffle entails, and explain all of my updates underneath the cut. <3 (again, i was inspired by lomapacks and received permission to use this idea)

how much do i need/when will it end? i literally hate this but my need is ongoing right now. as a severely disabled individual fighting tooth and nail for disability payments, my need will not end until the government has decided that i’m useless enough in their eyes. regardless of my need, i'll end the raffle august 3rd!

how does the raffle work? for every dollar spent commissioning, you will earn an entry! for every dollar donated of good will, you will earn 3 entries! example, if you order $15 worth of gifs (150 gifs), you will have 15 entries! if you donate $15, you will have 45 entries! (or if you donate $1 = 3 entries, $3 = 6 entries, etc) to be entered, you must fill out the google form in the source link

what are the prizes?

first place: 1500 gifs, 5 manips of your choosing, 1 crackship gifset

second place: 1000 gifs, 3 manips, 1 crackship gifset

third place: 500 gifs, 2 manips, 1 crackship gifset

every single person that commissions or donates gets: 1 manip

what do you do to join? you can find my payment info below to donate or commission. if you plan to commission, please message me first so we can sort out what it’s for/how much!

payment information: paypal is selinaaakyle@gmail.com, ko-fi is HERE, venmo is oraclelauren (3177 is the last 4 needed), and cashapp is $selinaaakyle.

when will everything be delivered? commissions will be completed in the order they were received, and delivered as soon as i can possibly get them done. once the raffle ends, the raffle prizes will be delivered upon your request for them and completed as soon as possible! i will try to deliver the manips for everyone same-day!

[vcrnons]

hello j!

relate your mutuals to svt songs go!

Mutuals as SVT songs, let’s GOOO<3

- @ikigaisvt : circles. i’ve said once and i’ll say a hundred times that sammy is, to me, like if a comfort blanket was a person. i play circles so often that it’s possibly gonna be in my top 5 on spotify this year, and every time i need to be reminded that everything’s going to be okay, it’s my go-to track (of any artist i listen to, not just svt). something about it just brings me such a warm, calming feeling from the deepest parts of my soul, and that’s what sammy means to me too. i genuinely cannot scream about her incredible nature enough, and even if i could find the words, i’d be a blubbering mess before i could finish saying them. i didn’t even have to think about this one. sammy, circles is for you.

- @irlvernon : wave! i adooooore this song so much you don’t even understand. it’s just one of those tracks that like… it doesn’t matter what mood i’m in when it comes on shuffle, i WILL, immediately, crack a smile. it’s a never-skip song okay. something about it feels so floaty and free and i just get that energy from max too. i cannot be a grouch when you’re in my dm’s. it’s scientifically impossible. i don’t know what that’s about but i’m VERY happy that it’s true. you’re wonderful. mwah.

- @aceofvernons : xan is home;run to me every single day of the week. you’re very very very very very (x10^15) cool and you bring me so much joy. i see your tags on any of my gifsets and need to take a seat before my knees give out from beneath me. your responses to my unhinged vernon asks could give me the energy to get through anything. so this works because any time i listen to home;run, i just get filled with so much pure happiness? one of those songs you wanna scream at full volume in the car on your way to wherever the fuck and i need you to know that in my head, xan is in the passenger seat screaming it with me.

- @ncteez : light a flame. do i need to explain this? i feel like it explains itself lol but OKAY fine let’s go. light a flame is such a soothing song and it’s SO easy to listen to but it’s also so MF HOT? look. if i deep this track for too long i start getting butterflies. and that’s how it feels reading anything hon writes, first of all, but just her ✨ energy ✨ is very light a flame. those pretty woozi high notes are her sweet, softer sides and the deep wonwoo parts = her ability to completely derail my week (complimentary). tldr hon, ur hot and nice and i like u.

- @hwanghyunjinenthusiast : anyone! okay this is an undeniably fantastic song and the video for it makes my brain short-circuit which are also two things about rj that are literally just facts. in the same way i always go to rewatch any of the anyone performances and tell myself i’m able to handle it, i go crawling into rj’s inbox with usually something feral and i always come out feeling like i’ve been hit by a train (affectionate, complimentary). HER BRAIN. IS HUGE. and it causes me real strife but i keep going back for more because it’s delicious and that’s just. how anyone makes me feel. one of my absolute favourite svt bangers for one of my dearest, most precious mutuals.<3

- @eoieopda : domino!! this was one of the first svt songs i ever listened to and i maintain that it is one of the best in their discography. domino is so lovely and bouncy and ANY time i see jade on the dash, i’m about to do a cartwheel i swear to god. also here’s some lore nobody asked for: if i need to do something, esp at work, and i feel like i’ve got a mental block trying to start it, domino is one of my ultimate hype songs. whichhhh is relevant if you’ve ever seen jade’s fic feedback. the BEST hypeman (/gn) ever. i want to put every single comment they’ve ever left me in a locket and wear it over my heart forever.

- @xukmins : snap shoot : max’s energy is V E R Y snap shoot to me. i can’t really explain that properly but it is, it makes sense in my head. she’s very bouncy and exciting and energetic, and truly any time i think about max or she’s in my inbox, i really just see so much brightness and fun and the happiness that you could always see in the snap shoot stages.<3

- @haechannabelle : _world!!! i don’t know if it’s the mv for it that springs to mind when i think of world but i immediately start thinking of bright colours and summer and that’s what i think about with annabelle too? your art is always so vibrant and even if it’s not of an artist I listen to, im always sat there looking at my screen like 🥹🥹🥹 because your pieces are always SO gorgeous. but you come across as so vibrant and bouncy too and this song just fits you SO well in my head.

- @cheolhub : is it. cringe. to say all my love. OKAY LOOK we don’t rly actually talk a bunch but i see sar in my notifications and it’s like someone put a fuzzy cardigan around my shoulders and has come to hold my hand. there is not a single part of all my love that i don’t adore; i could have it on repeat for a whole day and not get bored just listening intently to every member’s voice and remembering all the reasons i adore seventeen. to that end, i could equally scroll sar’s blog for a whole 24 hours and be sat with hearts in my eyeballs the entire time.

( i’ve definitely forgotten some lovely people and i’m SO sorry for that aaaaaa. i went back through my recent interactions & stuff but i do also have the working memory of a walnut && will no doubt be kicking myself in like two hours time for not including one of my loves in this ;_; pls forgive me. you’re all so very dear to me & don’t you dare forget it.<3 )

[shadeslayer]

I’m sorry, how is Killers Of The Flower Moon racist? I saw your tags on a gifset of Lily Gladstone as Mollie and was confused.

youre totally fine, dw! first disclaimer is ive not seen it, but also i dont plan to. i cant vouch for how racist the actual narrative within the movie, for me its more that its situated in a media landscape of films where i saw it advertised and i said to myself "oh i know exactly what that is :/ i thought we were done with this but i guess not"

theres a lot of stuff that i can ramble abt bc its very interesting and theres a million different ways this all plays out even if it all comes from the same source of anti-native thinking. but in particular w this movie its that i know it was gonna be trauma porn possibly mixed with imperialist nostalgia (aka mourning the loss of us/our culture even while actively killing and oppressing us)

there was a really good article i saw a while ago and shared some of the quotes from that talks about this movie specifically! i wont just repost the quotes i pulled before, but in particular for thinking of this movie and not movies in general:

I am not from the Osage community. The response from the tribe about the film, which looks at the events surrounding the deaths of more than 60 Osage people in Oklahoma in the 1960s, has been relatively favorable: many believe that this is a story that should be told, that it will raise awareness and do some good. I hope they are right. I hope something good comes out of this film. I hope the Natives who worked on it continue to have thriving careers and have the opportunity to make better stories for future generations. That doesn't change the fact that I walked into the cinema knowing that I was about to view several rich white men's interpretations of a violent chapter in Native history.

"Killers of the Flower Moon" opens up with a preface by Scorsese, who talks about how he's been wanting to make this film for a long time. He calls the project "proper and authentic." I am reminded of "The Revenant" and how it was praised for its authenticity and "respect." Authenticity is a euphemism non-Native filmmakers use for what Natives call "trauma porn." They think showing the absolute worst of what happened to us in grisly detail is somehow respecting us. The Osage in this film are described by Robert De Niro's character as "sickly people" whose time will run out. And sure enough, the first 30 minutes of film is a collage of dead Natives. As the film continues, hour after hour after hour, more Native men and women are killed off. [descriptions of various grisly deaths depicted in the movie.] Other than [one character being seen serenely walking into the afterlife], there is no moment of healing and catharsis for the Natives in the audience. Our wounds are reopened and left festering for the entertainment and "education" of non-Native viewers.

the full article is really good and i recommend it esp since its a relatively short read, and it really sums up how i felt seeing this movie being advertised and how im sure a lot of native people felt about it U_U

tldr generally is i cant say if the movie itself is like, terribly racist, but at the least it exists in a landscape where non-native media makers continue to find excuses to show native people being brutalized over and over again all while getting to say its because they "care so much" (if they cared theyd support n uplift native voices telling these stories) & native people are all aware of it and pretty much tired of it. so even the ones that may be doing good are, for many people (like my cynical ass lol), beyond the benefit of the doubt and at best are racist out of ignorance of the legacy theyre contributing to

[lies]

I'll take the bait: Do you really think the 2022 "Persuasion" is a good adaptation?

Omg, bless you and curse you at the same time.🙂

I actually do. I rewatched the first 5 minutes and the last 10 minutes the other day when that gifset came across my dash, and it reminded me of what I enjoyed about it back when all the sturm und drang were happening.

There’s a long list of reasons to dislike it, and I totally respect the opinions of all the people who hate hate hate it. It’s not respectful of Austen’s characters and story. It’s anachronistic as hell. It’s deeply silly and cringe-inducing so often I lose count.

And maybe that was part of what eventually won me over. At a certain point I stopped comparing it to its betters, and just let it be what it was.

I think it might be the experience of parenthood that changed me in the particular way that lets me enjoy it. Like many parents I’ve spent hours at recitals, concerts, plays, musicals, sporting events where the entertainment on offer was what a critic would find laughably poor, but where it was my cherished privilege to find whatever good there was and be an unabashed fan of it. Do that enough and it starts to seep in.

Carrie Cracknell has said she made Persuasion 2022 for her daughter. And I can totally see that. If your audience is a little girl growing up in the age of TikTok it might push you toward choices that disrespect canon and make purists upset. At least that’s what I told myself, and it let me ignore the bunny and the asides to the camera and the broad anachronistic gags and just enjoy that moment at the end when the Birdy song plays and they kiss. Because really, I’m not that complicated. Give me what I want and I’ll forgive pretty much anything.