#joan kinney

[sophsun1]

This gifset I made of Joan and Jack Kinney's perception that Brian was a carbon copy of his father a lone wolf and selfish man vs Justin knowing that was the furthest thing from the truth hits even harder when you flashback to 1.02 where Brian has such a visceral reaction to Ted yelling at Michael "Where do people get off thinking I'm not a kind person? I happen to be very kind, very loving/ My only responsibility is to myself I don't owe anybody a goddamn thing."

Selfish is such a prominent word in his life. We hear it from many of his so called friends. He's selfish and can't or won't love anyone or anything. Yet his actions towards them even when they don't deserve it show the complete opposite. You can sort of see why it cuts so deep when he hears these words "selfish and responsibility" in the context of the scenes with his parents.

We have Joan in church telling Brian he reminds her of Jack, he's equally as selfish always letting her down and mocking her love for God. How she took Jack's abuse and beatings to protect him though we the audience know Brian had his own share of abuse from him both physical and emotional along with his mother's neglect and alcoholism. He denies this but she won't hear of it. Adding on to her previously telling him her new priest has been like a son to her and now Brian has the power to destroy her entire world view and he doesn't. There's also a weird sort of parallel where now instead of her biological son being like her husband, her surrogate son is just like the son she rejects and is ashamed of.

Jack proudly announcing he's a chip off the old block not made to be a family man, Brian agreeing. Throw in the bombshell that if it was up to him, Brian wouldn't even exist. This man who shirked all responsibilities as a husband, a father and role model to his children telling his son who he wished was never born that he is just like him. Imagine the mind fuck. His line about not letting the ladies tie him down, Brian knowing he would never be accepted if he ever came out to him. Then buttering him up for cold hard cash, even though Brian had it ready and waiting because he knew that's all he's worth to him. Which leads me to the anger I feel towards Mel and Lindsey who immediately jump on Brian about his financial responsibility to Gus. Wanting him to sign a life insurance policy because his "lifestyle" according to Mel makes him more of a risk factor. They don't want him to be fully physically involved but they'll take his money. Here comes the theme of death once more, his father didn't want him to exist but he'll take his money. Mel and Lindsey, pointing out if he dies it doesn't matter as long as Gus profits. Yet he fought so hard for Lindsey in the custody battle for J.R, funding it all when he never got that same unwavering support when it came to Gus. Wanting so steadfastly to take care of Justin financially when they were together and apart because that's how he has been made to feel with Gus and his father. So many layers. Sonny boy indeed.

Is it any wonder? Brian Kinney never believed in love and thought it only lead to bitterness and resentment, and settling down meant settling into a toxic environment where hatred flourished. Especially as your parents are your first example of love and family. You literally are the product of that union in most cases, it's a fundamental part of your childhood and has a deep effect on you ergo why therapists always lead with "So tell me about your relationship with your mother/father."

WHICH IS WHY WE SHOULD HAVE HAD A SEASON DEDICATED TO THIS ASPECT!

Ultimately people are always wanting a piece of Brian. The raw, unfiltered Brian Kinney that Justin sees and accepts and loves is not good enough for them. Sure they have their moments and he's by no means perfect but Justin doesn't want to intrinsically change him, he encourages him to be better and we see Brian respond to this. They blow hot and cold, his Peter Pan complex is embarrassing it's time to grow up! Brian tries to change, no this isn't the Brian we know and love, we prefer the old version of him come back! With his friends he's made to feel responsible for their mistakes and fuck ups, to be a support to them, to help rescue them even to his own detriment at times. To feel guilt at his existence in their lives and how it affects them, as financial support or simply telling him how to react/feel to really major emotional life events. Debbie insisting he "owed" his father his coming out, telling Joan he had cancer. Michael at his father's death, that regardless of what he did he was still his dad. The amount of pressure that was placed on him was insane the "responsibility" never ends. It goes to the -> I don't owe anybody a goddamn thing! He got himself out of his terrible upbringing, worked hard and got an amazing loft with a job in a career he excels at. No one gave him a hand out. Technically even when they did in the concerned citizens for truth era he paid them back plus extra. He hates feeling indebted to people, or in need, and yes part of that is pride but also because he's the one that is always on standby to be that for others, so where is his room to fail?

[brlankinney]

queer as folk the book | the kinneys

[xroub]

something i think would have been interesting and would have liked to see was Justin meeting Joan again, even if for another brief minute like in s2. But I just have this imagine in my head of when Joan was at Kinnetik in s4, Justin being there as well ("And I like the name. Kinnetik with two nn's. It's very clever." "Thanks, I thought so.") and the two having this quick and awkward conversation where Justin explains that they have briefly met before. And then Joan having her usual disgusted and awkward face when confronted with the fact that her sexually deviant son appears to have a long term partner.

[musicrunsthroughmysoul]

Get to know me: Favorite albums by album cover colors Inspired by x

[moonagedaydreamdotmp3]

i'm so goddamn congested right now

[indecentpause]

Revolution Grrl Style Now! A Black & Blues Playlist for Akasha O'Carroll

dropkick murphys - amazing grace // yelle - je veux te voir // the ting tings - that's not my name // half cocked - bad reputation // no doubt - just a girl // the runaways - cherry bomb // shonen knife - buttercup (i'm a super girl) // joan jett & the blackhearts - i love rock 'n roll // p!nk - u+ ur hand // madison avenue - don't call me baby // bikini kill - double dare ya // sleater-kinney - words and guitar // le tigre - hot topic // cibo matto - lint of love // rio romeo - soft bitch // caroline konstnar, house plant band - the worlds dumbest puppet show // josie and the pussycats - spin around // luna chicks - jerk of all trades // cheap perfume - slut game strong

listen here

read The Black & Blues free on ao3

Akasha tag

Sheraton Academy tag

and FREE short stories about the characters in Various Situations

Current taglist: @abalonetea @only-book-lovers-left-alive @poore-choice-of-words @leadhelmetcosmonaut @jasperygrace

@drippingmoon @magic-is-something-we-create @winterandwords

@revenantlore @mr-orion @idreamonpaper @theoddcryptid

Black & Blues taglist: @lynnedwardswrites

There is one more B&B playlist I will be sharing over the weekend. if you want to be added or removed to any of my tag lists, just let me know!

[sunnydaleherald]

The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter, Wednesday, September 11th - Part One

Xander is walking in a deserted street and sees Angel and Faith approach. XANDER: Hey guys! Man, where you been? You gotta find Buffy. She's going to her place and stocking up on ... Angel casually smacks Xander in the jaw without breaking stride. Xander falls limply to the ground. Faith doesn't even look at him. ANGEL: That guy just bugs me. Angel and Faith continue marching down the street.

~~Enemies~~

[Drabbles & Short Fiction]

BtVS Triple Drabble: Always In Trouble by badly_knitted (Buffy, PG)

Weekly Drabbles #170 — Soothing by veronyxk84 (Buffy/Spike, PG-13)

Hello, Old Friend by RavenLove12 (Giles/Ethan, E)

Negotiating by TheClowniestLivInExistence (Darla/Drusilla, M)

GRAVE DISTRACTION by KNZ1 (Buffy, Xander, M)

There's a Different Feel About You Tonight by Skyson (Buffy/Giles, M)

Glimpses of the Wasteland by Harlow_Turner (MadeInGold) (Buffy/Angel/Spike, Giles/Maggie, Riley/Graham, T)

Not Without Permission by Regent_Rando_nsfw (Regent_of_RarePairs) (Giles/Spike, E)

Secrets & Apologies by Regent_of_RarePairs (Giles/Spike, T)

The Other Kind of Lust by LiraelClayr007 (Giles/Spike, M)

Retaliation by sassaffrassa (Buffy/Spike, E)

Can't hear you... by LiraelClayr007 (Giles/Spike, E)

"Yeah...." Joan sighed, blowing out smoke from a second procured cigarette and stifling a cough... by hiddenbysuccubi (Buffy/Spike, unrated)

Outline: ... btvs / ats selfinsert au by asleepmottley (Angel/Spike, unrated)

Glimpses of the Wasteland by Harlow Turner (Buffy/Spike, PG-13)

What the Drabble? Vol. 2 - ch. 70 by VeroNyxK84 (Buffy/Spike, PG-13)

[Chaptered Fiction]

Foregivenss - ch. 38 by slaymesoftly (Buffy/Spike, R)

Spies, High Stakes, and Secrets - ch. 1 by Rippertish (Buffy/Giles, E)

Finding Peace pt.13: Wanting (Spike x y/n) by itsalwaysteatimeinwonderland (Spike/reader, unrated)

Soul Mate Magic - Chapter One by emma-m-black (Giles/OC, rated M)

Soul Mate Magic - Chapter Two by emma-m-black (Giles/OC, rated M)

Next To Me - ch. 2 by Lilacsandorangeblossoms (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

Because the Night - ch. 8 by CheekyKitten (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

Truth and Consequences - ch. 24 by JamesMFan (Buffy/Spike, R)

Forgiveness Doesn't Come Easy - ch. 38 by slaymesoftly (Buffy/Spike, R)

Mysterious Destinies - ch. 9 by EnchantedWillow (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

Into his mind - ch. 3-4 by rossshin (Buffy/Spike, G)

Next to me - ch. 2 by Lilacsandorangeblossoms (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

Sweet Dreams (Or A Beautiful Nightmare) - ch. 3 by goodbyetoyou (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

To All We Guard - ch. 24 by simmony (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

Forgiveness Doesn't Come Easy - ch. 38 by Slaymesoftly (Buffy/Spike, R)

[Images, Audio & Video]

Banner: 🎨 Banner Art #21 — For ThreeWordApocalypseFest by veronyxk84 (Buffy/Spike, worksafe)

Artwork: ☀️ATS 221. Through The Looking Glass ☀️ by tmcarlee (ensemble, worksafe)

Artwork: Little piece of buffy inspired art I made (A5, acrylic and ink on card) by jaw-jar (worksafe)

Artwork: i love you liar girl by bugaboooooooooo (Faith, worksafe)

Artwork: Discord shenanigans resulted in this by isevery0nehereverystoned (Spike, worksafe)

Artwork: Red ink test. by o-cm-draw-o (Buffy/Spike, worksafe)

Artwork: Ep. 2×03 "School hard" by o-cm-draw-o (Buffy/Spike, NSFW-ish)

Artwork: Ep. 5x07 "Fool for Love" by o-cm-draw-o (Buffy/Spike, worksafe)

Fanvid: Buffy the Vampire Slayer // I Wanna Be Your Joey Ramone by Sleater-Kinney by whale-music (Buffy/Faith, worksafe)

Fanvid: [Is Anybody Here?] by buffyannegiles (Buffy, Giles, worksafe)

Moodboard: Sanctuary Mood Board Watch Here (x) by theoverlookedoneedits1997 (ensemble, worksafe)

Manip / Wallpaper: A Big Rock by revello-drive-1630 (Drusilla, Angel, Spike, worksafe)

Gifset: Buffy Meme: [5/6] Faith/Buffy "You know what the messed up thing is?... by lovebvffys (Buffy/Faith, worksafe)

Gifset: [when the words of a sister come back in whispers] by detectivedawnsummers (Buffy/Faith, worksafe)

Gifset: Tara Maclay + Outfits (Season 5) by clarkgriffon (Tara, worksafe)

Gifset: Otpsource's 4 Year Anniversary Event DAY 1 - 'SCREW DESTINY': Bangel by buffyscmmers (Buffy/Angel, worksafe)

Gifset: Behind the scenes of Once More With Feeling, the Buffy the Vampire Slayer musical episode (x) by stronglikeayellowcrayon (ensemble, worksafe)

Gifset: BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER (2x05) ʀᴇᴘᴛɪʟᴇ ʙᴏʏ by likeafantasy (ensemble, worksafe)

Gifset: 2.01 Judgment | 2.18 Dead End Angel [1999 - 2004] by dailyats (ensemble, worksafe)

Fanvid: Monster | Buffy/Faith by thequeentaylor (Buffy/Faith, worksafe)

Fanvid: Mum - Buffy, Joyce & Dawn (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) by TheOverLookedOne (Buffy, Joyce, Dawn, worksafe)

[Reviews & Recaps]

Made a list of my favorite episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer by the order in which they aired in their respective seasons... by coraniaid

Out of Mind, Out of Sight Fashion Part Three by theoverlookedoneeddits1997

[Recs & In Search Of]

Book rec: btw this is great and I love it... by lilithhedwig

ISO: Limitlesstoys7 seeks reading order and recs for Buffy novels

[Community Announcements]

Buffyverse Slay-o-Ween Exchange 2024 [nominations now open] by fandomcalendar

INPRNT shop link and commission info by tubesock86

[Revamped IWRY Marathon: signup now for both fanfic and art] by iwillrememberyoumarathon

Fic prompt: Buffy and Dawn, childhood memories [seeking fic fill] by buffyversekinkmeme

Submit a link to be included in the newsletter!

Join the editor team :)

[r3m-ster]

i love you sleater kinney i love you bikini kill i love you the runaways i love you dazey and the scouts i love you mommy long legs i love you bratmobile i love you destroy boys i love you sorry mom i love you joan jett and the blackhearts i love you sir chloe i love you sunday cruise i love you yeastie girlz i love you cat crash i love you crawlers i love you the dollyrots i love you hawxx i love you lash i love you le tigre i love you emilys sassy lime i love you lowertown i love you scanners i love you sophie may i love you metric i love you

[prettygirlgerard]

my winter jacket has Kathleen on it but I need a summer one cuz it’s hot !!!

[elcomfortador]

Drew Carey Has a Cross-Dressing Brother Who Just Might Be Trans

“Drew’s Brother” (November 19, 1997) 

We finally did it! We not only found the perfect guest for this episode — writer, performer and UCB alum Joan Ford — but we also got the chance to tell the world that The Drew Carey Show deserves to live it. It’s not only the most successful Friends clone but also the only one that sustained a whole series about working class young people. And in its third season, it introduced Drew’s brother Steve (John Caroll Lynch) who is a cross-dresser who might just be a transwoman. What’s more, the show pairs Steve off with Mimi Bobeck (Kathy Kinney), who is dragtastic and deserving of queer icon status in her own right.

Follow: GEE on Facebook • GEE’s Facebook Group • GEE on Twitter • GEE on Instagram • Drew on Twitter • Glen on Twitter

Listen: Apple Podcasts • Spotify • Google Podcasts • Himalaya • TuneIn

And yes, we do have an official website! We even have episode transcripts courtesy of Sarah Neal. Our logo was designed by Rob Wilson. This episode’s art was designed by Ian O’Phelan.

This is a TableCakes podcast.

Listen now!

[sophsun1]

Queer as Folk – 2.09: Accentuate the Positive

[kaelbermarsch]

new music releases from female vocalists/artists in 2024 (rock, metal, punk, etc.)

(feel free to add or self promote!)

[link to the masterpost]

ALBUMS

Into the Realm - Castle Rat (USA)

doom metal, hard rock, heavy metal

someone on bandcamp described it as "what if black sabbath was fronted by debbie harry?"

female front singer

burnout - VIAL (USA)

alternative/indie punk

all female band

Jetzt schlägt's 13 (live) - The Dead End Kids (Germany)

deutschpunk

live album

female front singer

Codes - Anja Huwe (Germany)

post-punk, goth

was the lead singer of Xmal Deutschland in the 80s!

Little Rope - Sleater-Kinney (USA)

alternative rock

they've been making music since the 90s!

all female band

Verses In Oath - Hulder (Belgium, USA)

black metal, medieval black metal

When The Darkness Comes - Ieschure (Ukraine)

atmospheric black metal

one-woman band

EPs

Conqueress (Extended) - Doro (Germany)

heavy metal, hard rock

she was the lead singer of Warlock!

SINGLES

i hate when GIRLS die - Die Spitz (USA) Little Flame - Die Spitz (USA) My Hot Piss - Die Spitz (USA)

punk, grunge 90s sound

reminds me of Hole except that their sound's a bit heavier

all female band

Business Before Pleasure - The Runnings (Germany)

Misery Loves Company - The Runnings (Germany)

garage rock

female front singer

I'm So Free - Joan Jett & the Blackhearts (USA)

rock

i don't think joan jett needs an introduction but if you didn´t know, she was a founding member of The Runaways as a teen

Mirage - GEL (USA)

hardcore punk

female front singer

[madsworld15]

find the word tag game :)

Thanks for the tag @lostcol!

Rules: Share snippets of your work containing each of the words the previous poster selected for you. Then, select four words and tag friends (I used a random word generator).

My Words: rock, strip, breeze, grudge

Your Words: justify, my, arrow, hall

(I have 2 WIPs currently that I am pulling from for this exercise.)

rock

He knew Vance had some choice words to say, and Brian really wasn’t in the mood, but he also wasn’t in the mood to rock the boat any more than it already was.

strip - I'm not sure which meaning of the word was intended, but I have it as part of chronic condition language.

Joan Kinney watched in disgust and frustration as Brian took his time pricking his finger, coaxing a droplet of blood out and painstakingly placing that finger onto the test strip. Just as his checker beeped with the reading, 102, she responded.

I don't have breeze or grudge in any of my works.

no pressure tagging: @winderlylandchime, @vulcanscully, and @thotpuppy

[winderlylandchime]

I have a question that I wanna know your thoughts on, if you care to have them :). When and how do you think Brian Kinney became Brian Kinney. The ‘no excuses, no apologies, no regrets’ Brian Kinney. And when do you think he became the stud of Liberty Avenue? I mean Debbie does tell in s1 that Brian has basically been a loose canon since the day Michael met him when they were 14. And in season 5 i think it’s revealed they went to the club for the first time when they were like 17/18 and Brian even makes a tiny brag about the backroom (btw i will never be over that scene because they put them in “teens” clothes and said fuck it) but I always wondered at what point did Brian become ‘the man, the myth, the legend’ and like how that had to be for him and his friends or I guess Mikey since he was obsessed with him and then suddenly he was fucking everyone. Sorry for such a random all over the place question, you can tell I recently started a rewatch.

Oh dear sweet anon! I love all {kind} asks in my askbox equally, but some I love more equally than others. You have truly unleashed the beast with this one as I literally have a doctorate in analyzing characters (sure, at work I call it ‘case conceptualization’ but tomato tomahto and all.) I’m going to put this all under a “read more” because I love my mutuals and I don’t want to subject their dashes to what is undoubtedly going to be an unhinged character analysis. Pour yourself a beverage of your choosing, grab a snack, and buckle in.

My mother is a frigid bitch. My father was an abusive drunk. They had a hateful marriage, which is probably why I am…unwilling or unable to form a long-term, committed relationship of my own. The fact that I drink like a fish, abuse drugs, and have, more or less, redefined promiscuity doesn’t help…much. As a result I have lost the two people in my life that mean the most to me.

- Brian Kinney, 508

Early Childhood

Brian is the youngest of two from married parents. His mother, Joan, is not employed outside the home and is devoted to her Catholic faith. His father, Jack, is employed in some unnamed blue collar job and is a union man. His older sister, Claire, is a presence but left the home and married and had children shortly thereafter. Both Brian’s parents struggle with undiagnosed and untreated alcohol use disorder. They are both abusive in their own ways. Brian suffers physical abuse at the hands of his father. He suffers emotional abuse in the form of religious trauma and neglect in the form of Joan not intervening when Brian is being hit by his father by his mother. He also grows up with the family lore that he was an unwanted child and his father asked him mother to abort him. In his understanding, it is his mother’s Catholic faith that has doomed him to this miserable life. And throughout his life, it is clear his mother cares more for outwards appearances within her church community and for his eternal soul than his happiness here on earth. He observes their marriage as a hateful one. Jack cheats on Joan and apologizes with empty gestures (bringing her flowers) and words (apologies and good behavior before reverting back to his philandering ways). He’s told repeatedly by his father that Jack should never have been a family man, that Kinney men not not designed to be family men. In other words, Kinney men are not made to be “tied down” to one partner. And in the absence of a model or understanding of an ethical nonmonogamy, Brian learns that men, if they have partners, will cheat. Brian also learns from his family that words and apologies are empty - Jack can apologize to Joan but if he never changes, what worth do his words have?

We also see from his family where his determination to earn money and be able to afford a luxurious lifestyle comes from. He is determined to avoid any suffering (failing at monogamy, struggling to pay bills) that they endured.

Adolescence

Around age 14/15 Brian meets Michael Novotny. He either moves to Pittsburgh or several junior high schools feed into one high school (this is not uncommon in the US). Michael worships him immediately - Michael is gay and Brian is cute. And then Brian defends Michael against the school bullies. Brian also meets Debbie and either meets or hears of Uncle Vic. For the first time in his life, Brian has adults who are accepting of their son being gay, he has a model of a gay man who is loved by his family (for the most part - there’s reference to a sister that rejects Vic and a grandmother who may be oblivious to her son’s sexuality). He receives mixed messages from the Novotnys. From Michael, he gets a best friend. Someone with whom he can be silly and have fun. But everything they reference from their teen years is about Mikey’s interests - the Captain Astro club for instance. What were Brian’s interests as a teen? Did anyone nurture them? In Mikey he also gets someone where he can safely explore his sexuality (Patrick Swayze). In Debbie he gets a mother figure who is a firm (albeit imperfect) ally. We don’t know when the Liberty Diner opened or when Debbie began working there, but there is a sense she was also a portal to the world of Liberty Avenue and the diner provided a sort of safe-for-teens queer space. However, Debbie also cares for her son first and foremost (as she should!). She is not Brian’s parent. When she sees Brian’s influence taking Mikey down a path of - getting in trouble at school for fighting back against bullies, sneaking out to go to Liberty Avenue, espousing an nonmonogamy ethic, experimenting with drugs and alcohol - she rightly calls him out. However, with his background, when she - a clearly loving mother who would have no reason to lie - calls him a little shit or an asshole, he believes it. There is a paradox that develops where Brian does not believe words because they are meaningless so refuses to apologize or make promises - unless those words are cruel and directed at him, especially by people he trusts.

For historical purposes, this is taking place in 1985 or 1986 - as the AIDS crisis is reaching an inflection point. The CDC (US Center for Disease Control) estimates that more people were diagnosed with AIDS than in all earlier years combined (source). It is impossible to overstate the impact this had on the queer community more generally, and on Brian more specifically. We see his unwavering commitment to using a condom even in the face of other reckless behavior. As someone who predominantly tops, he is at lower risk of contracting HIV but he cares enough about his partners to never ever fuck without one. His alcohol and drug misuse harms him and him alone, fucking without a condom harms others. Coming of age during the height of the AIDS crisis shaped Brian. We don’t know exactly when Vic seroconverts but we know that relatively shortly before the Pilot episode, Vic was on his deathbed and Debbie was nursing him and they go on that trip to Italy and max out all of Vic’s credit cards… (because those credit card statements come to him in S1) So the AIDS crisis is also front and center in this little safe(r) space Brian has found away from his childhood home. With the AIDS crisis there is also a loss of nearly a complete generation of gay men who could have provided a model for the type of relationship Brian and Justin eventually try to find for themselves. I’ll say it again AIDS WIPED OUT AN ENTIRE GENERATION. We learn from the models around us. If we are an ethnic minority, we learn about that from our parents. As queer people, we often cannot learn from our parents how to be queer. We need queer elders in our communities. Brian comes of age exactly as all those queer elders are dying and changing their lifestyles to protect themselves and their partners from a hideous disease with (at the time) no known treatment and in which the government’s inaction is actively contributing to the loss of entire communities.

And then we have the famous locker room gym teacher incident. Brian’s first (as far was we know) sexual experience was at age 14 (iirc) when he walked into the showers after soccer practice and saw his coach showering. Brian as a gay teen, gets hard, and to cover up any embarrassment about what this reveals about him (it’s the 80s in a public American HS!) gets on his knees and gives the coach a blowjob. This is the first instance of Brian using sex and his sexuality to protect himself and to empower himself. However, he is a kid and a student and he has been taken advantage of by a teacher. No matter how much Brian tells himself (believes) that he was in power in that situation, the power dynamics are always that the teacher has power. That is the reason those laws exist (and even when everyone is an adult, professors cannot sleep with their over 18 college students, nor can they sleep with their graduate students - that goes against every university’s guidelines because that power imbalance cannot be erased). Brian may not self-identify as such but he is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse.

Late Adolescence/Early Adulthood

Around 17/18 we know Brian and Mikey are sneaking into Babylon and Brian is engaging in more experimentation with his sexuality. How is this different than Justin doing the same? Well, first and foremost Justin’s was incredibly lucky that Brian was the one to take him home that first night and treat him with respect and kindness. Brian made sure he enjoyed his first time. Brian’s speech about wanting Justin to always remember this tells us that virginity, while a vile social construct, is something that can feel very important. And the first time being penetrated can set the stage for one’s expectations and beliefs about what is good and normal for future experiences. Does Brian realize this because his first time with penetrative sex was similarly good and kind or because it was the opposite?

We also know that Brian graduates high school and goes to a traditional four year university/college (per fanon it’s Carnegie Mellon where Ben is later a professor and is a prestigious university) where he meets Lindsay. Unlike, Brian, Michael attends a few semesters of a community college. Anon, I’m not sure if you’re in the US but a community (or junior) college is usually a two year college that is intended to prepare students for transferring to complete their education at a 4 year college or university. Some students just complete their Associates Degrees and do not transfer. The reason a student might do this is a) finances - community colleges are public and much less expensive than 4 year institutions (even 4 year public universities) and b) readiness - if a student’s high school grades are not good enough to get into a 4 year institution or the student personally doesn’t feel ready for college course work, attending a community college is a great place to get adjusted to college level coursework (classes tend to be smaller, especially compared with large universities). My spouse is a community college professor, nothing but respect to the community colleges. Mikey probably attended due to finances and poor grades (he is canonically not book smart). Brian comes from a similar background financially - I would find it hard to believe that Jack, who later asks his son for money, was saving for college tuition when Brian was a child. Given the lavish lifestyle Brian later leads, I find it hard to believe he took out (predatory) student loans (he also doesn’t mention them among his expenses post- Concerned Citizens for the Truth so I’m going to believe he doesn’t have them). I am going to guess that he attended a prestigious private university (in 2021-2022 tuition for one year at CMU was $58,924 and in 2023 it was $62,260 with another nearly $20k for room and meal plan) on a combination of Pell Grants (for students with exceptional financial need) and merit based scholarships (due to good grades in high school). This means that Brian, in order to gain admission and to earn scholarships to afford to go, despite all his antics at school (ahem chemistry club!), was studious enough to earn the grades needed. This is no small thing. For comparison, I attended a high school in one of the wealthiest school districts in the US and I had special counselors who helped me decide what schools to apply to, how to craft my applications to be more competitive, and I was taught explicitly ways of approaching SATs (college admissions test) that improved my scores (like test taking strategies). Basically I had every advantage. Brian had none of that. I imagine the school district that the Kinneys and Novotnys would live in, would not have all those advantages. In the US, local tax dollars pay for schools - wealthy areas have better schools as a result. It says a lot about Brian - his determination, his native intelligence, and his ability to code-switch and pass as someone who belongs as at a place like CMU - that he succeeded.

This is also the first time that he is apart from Mikey. He’s making new friends like Lindsay who come from wealth and privilege and getting a taste of that life. He is also away from Mikey’s hero worship and any pressure from Mikey (and Debbie) to date Mikey. He probably sleeps his way through the gay, bisexual, and questioning male student body. I do believe at this point he probably hadn’t instituted his “no repeats” rule but he learns that after a certain number of hook ups, expectations begin to build. He doesn’t want to be his father, so it’s safest to make sure his partners have no expectations. He learns that if people expect the least and the worst from him, he will never disappoint them.

We know that if he wasn’t before, he’s certainly experimenting with drugs in college (references to spiking the punch with ecstasy after Lindsay’s heart was broken). He is studying something that is immediately practical (we do not know if he goes onto graduate school, but my headcanon is that he does not - he would have gotten his masters degree in marketing or business and those are expensive and, again, he doesn’t seem to have student loans). I believe he studies marketing, but though general coursework, his own intelligence and curiosity, he learns enough about the arts and other areas of study to be able to pass in upper class worlds and not betray his working class roots. And to appreciate Justin’s talent. Of course.

Post College/Adulthood

He is hired by Ryder Advertising and quickly moves up the ranks. He purchases his own home (the loft) and decorates it with only the fanciest furniture and appliances. He wears designer clothes. He wants to fit in and belong to this world that is so different than where he came from.

My guess is that by the time he’s working at Ryder, he has fully become the man, the myth, the legend we meet in the pilot.

No apologies - he learned that early on from Jack, apologies are meaningless.

No regrets - life as a gay man may be difficult, but he is not going shy away from experiences just because it might make his life harder. His life has already been hard on someone else’s terms. If it’s going to be hard again, it may as well be on his own terms.

Actions matter more than words, unless those words are from someone he believes cares about him in which case, if they are negative, they are true.

Protect others, even to the detriment of yourself. People want you for what you can do for them (protect them from bullies, make them feel special for one night) not for who you are.

Brian has no model of nonmonogamy that isn’t monogamy with cheating. He cannot conceive, until Justin comes along, that he can have a primary partner and also have an open relationship.

Being a “Stud” is another status symbol, like the loft, like the Jeep, like his wardrobe.

Everything is a wall built from his childhood to protect himself from the pain he experienced and to protect others from what he believes is his destiny - to hurt others the way his father hurt his mother and him. Walls don’t just keep out others, they protect others from the (imagined) monster within.

There is a good fic on Midnight Whispers that goes into this quite a bit: Why Not with Me

[stxr-bxy]

alternative marauders headcanons

james

somewhat alt, more of a rock person but definitely appreciates alt culture. favorite artists are fleetwood mac, melanie safka, jaco pastorious, the smashing pumpkins, and heart.

sirius

punk rock badass. his favorite bands are bad brains, death, black flag, bad religion, and sleater-kinney. he likes the sex pistols too. but has an appreciation for lots of music. he likes david bowie, sisters of mercy, and deftones.

remus

prefers rock but also enjoys punk. favorite artists are david bowie, the strokes, october country, pink floyd, and iggy pop. considers himself punk-ish because he listens to the music and agrees with the ideology. the proof that you don’t have to dress punk to be punk.

peter

grunge rock stan. favorite artists are nirvana, soundgarden, mudhoney, red hot chili peppers, and stone temple pilots. dresses like he’s homeless (which is basically how i dress) but makes it look cool with diy and studs and spikes.

lily

loves almost all music. favorite artists are radiohead, evanescence (idk why i just think she’d like them), bratmobile, pixies, and x ray spex. she dresses kinderwhore-ish grunge and loves dressing feminine and distressed (idk how to describe it). adores the punk subculture and loves when baby punks come to her shows.

marlene

the ultimate riot grrrl. dislikes the movement from the 90s bc it wasn’t super intersectional and excluded queer/trans women and poc but recognizes that it did help some women and should come back with some improvements. favorite artists are bikini kill, hole (but doesn’t support courtney love), bratmobile, emily’s sassy lime, and L7

mary

somewhat alternative but definitely a badass. favorite artists are abba, fiona apple, björk, kate bush, the bangles, and blondie. she likes anything raw and emotional with meaningful lyrics. loves to analyze songs and find out the symbolisms behind them. in her opinion music doesn’t need to sound good to be good, she cares more about the meaning.

emmeline

loves female artists and queer punk. favorite artists are mommy long legs, kittie, pinkshift, cheap perfume, and baby guts. loves subversing gender roles in music and fashion so she sometimes dresses masc and incorporates those themes in her music. proof that someone can be both a sweetheart and a total badass at the same time.

emma

loves all music. literally everything. favorite artists are coven, the slits, mitski, garbage, and limp bizkit. her style changes all the time but she loves hippie and indie styles. her favorite song is california dreaming by the mamas and the papas. loves lighting incense and going for walks. somewhat alt but more of a mellow subversive alt instead of an in-your-face-let’s-tear-it-all-down angle.

regulus

goth and punk. favorite artists are joy division, alien sex fiend, the muslims, and the clash. doesn’t dress very punk but dresses in a more casual goth style. only goes all out for shows and concerts he goes to. most of his wardrobe is black so he can never find specific clothing items.

pandora

faerie goth and hippie-ish. loves ethereal wave and cold wave music but also likes other stuff. favorite artists are molchat doma, cocteau twins, nine inch nails, and siouxsie and the banshees. dresses in a hippie-ish fairycore style and never dresses casual unless she’s at home. definitely shaved or bleached her eyebrows at one point.

barty

punk punk punk punk. the punkiest mf you’ve ever seen in your life. he exclusively wears leather jackets and crust pants. favorite bands are dead kennedys, rage against the machine, pure hell, the runaways, and pansy division.

evan

barty’s badass boyfriend. listens to almost all music. his favorite artists are eminem, the neighborhood, kiss, and joan jett and the blackhearts. somewhat alt, fashion is whatever he can afford and thinks is cool. gets a new piercing or dyes his hair as a coping mechanism.

dorcas

punk rock princess. favorite bands are pure hell, gina young, vulpes, bad brains, and mannequin p*ssy. they love poly styrene (x ray spex) and really look up to her because she was a very influential black woman in punk music. always had headphones on and is blasting “germfree adolescents” at all times. also loves kat bjelland (babes in toyland) and ari up (the slits)

[onglydooplemikeyway]

time for my LONG overdue pinned post to become a reality i guess…

hello, internet losers (affectionate)!

you can call me cait. if you know me from discord and know my actual name, please don’t use it around here, thank you very much. feel free to nickname me based on my username (ie, calling me simply “onglydoople”), i don’t mind that.

i’m bisexual, genderfluid/xenofluid (i use the terms interchangeably) and use any pronouns with a she/they preference.

i’m also neurodivergent/mentally ill, i have ADHD, anxiety, sensory processing disorder/auditory defensiveness, dyscalculia, developmental coordination disorder and (self-dx) erotomania.

i’m white and a first-generation canadian with south african parents. i speak english, very limited french and VERY, VERY LIMITED afrikaans (i basically know “danke”, and “lekker”, and that’s it).

i am a minor, however i don’t really care about nsfw accounts interacting with me. just don’t directly contact me about nsfw things and we’ll be chill.

regarding a dni, it’s just the usual. racists, ableists, pedos, lgbtphobes (including MOGAI invalidators), TERFS/exclusionists in general, zionists, sexists, proshippers (THAT MEANS YOU, WAYCESTERS), radqueers/transID, stay the fuck away from me. i may block you for reasons outside of this.

i have two sideblogs:

onglydooplemogai (for my coined mogai terms, and my mogai hoard), and onglydooplegraphics (for stuff like blinkies, stamps, dividers, etc).

now it’s time for my overly long interest list!!! bold indicates my all time faves.

MUSICIANS:

taylor swift, my chemical romance, gerard way, most of frank iero’s solo stuff, chloe moriondo, cavetown, marina, girl in red, beach bunny, peach prc, the foxies, mxmtoon, ricky montgomery, maisie peters, fall out boy, paramore, bikini kill, pierce the veil, sabrina carpenter, jack off jill, avril lavigne, hole, nirvana, chappell roan, destroy boys, green day, poppy, sleater-kinney, idkhow, skating polly, mannequin pussy, amyl and the sniffers, x-ray spex, bratmobile, dazey and the scouts, pinkshift, meet me @ the altar, against me!, joan jett, the runaways, daisy grenade, beabadoobee, chrissy chlapecka, conan gray, mazie, olivia rodrigo, phoebe bridgers, waterparks, millionaires, shauna dean cokeland, the killers, kesha, hey monday, scene queen, ghostdaughter.

(I DO NOT SUPPORT ANY PROBLEMATIC ARTISTS ON THIS LIST!!!)

VIDEO GAMES:

animal crossing: new horizons, story of seasons: pioneers of olive town, fashion dreamer, minecraft, roblox (mainly item asylum, da amazing bunker, flicker, murder island 2, when the, dress to impress, cabin crew sim, RHS2 and bus simulator), splatoon 3, smash bros ultimate, tetris 99.

CONTENT CREATORS:

alpharad, mayro, kwite, failboat, jaymoji, strange æons, onetopicatatime, emkay (i miss lexi), jammidodger, blueryai

i think that’s everything i have to say!!! have a good timezone :3