#so i may not get back to you in any reasonable timeframe

[bitegore]

soliciting your favorite recipe using dandelions! any part of the plant works for me, i'm just eyeing the new crop this spring and thinking about what i can make that isn't salad

[sempiternalmuze]

Running Through the Halls of Your Haunted Home

Jack Abbott x doctor!Reader who has some problems being loved

tags: dr. jack abbott x female!reader, hurt comfort, reader runs away for a bit (story takes place when shes back), Robby being Jacks best friend, age/jobs not really established, implied not great childhood for reader, jack loves her ohmygod??, jack would never leave her tbh, a bit more flowery than i'm used to writing so let me know, let me know if i missed anything!

word count: 2.3k

Five months. That was the timeframe Robby had laid out for you when you'd came to him a few days after Christmas, explaining that you needed a break, need time away from the Pitt, the city, the state. He'd been kind enough to not ask too many questions, but you knew he'd hear it sooner than later directly from Jack during one of their therapy sessions.

So three days after Christmas you packed your bag, grabbed your passport, and changed your number. From one day to the next you had gone from Pittsburgh Trauma Medical Center to Portel, Brazil with Doctors Without Borders.

And you lived. You took the time you needed to find your peace again, to pick up the pieces that you had left behind in the dusty apartment Jack and you had shared.

But now it was May-- and Robbie was calling your number every few days. And today when you answered he'd sounded at about wit's end.

"Time's up kid, we need you back here." He sighed, and you could almost see his hand running over his face, tired and no doubt thinking about a fourth—fifth—coffee.

You had stayed silent for a moment, playing with the sheet of your hammock. You glanced at the tents set up by the river, kids running around in a game of tag, parents watching from the sides as they spoke to the other doctors on your crew.

"What if I told you I liked it here more? Then what?" You said, glancing back at the water.

Robby lets out a throaty laugh, one that pulls you away and forces you back to the shuffle of the Pitt. "Because if you did, you would've just said that."

It's a valid point— and true. You wouldn't be asking, wouldn't be hoping he'd tell you any different. You probably would have blocked him, sent an email to Gloria and moved on with your life.

"And I also know what you've got waiting." He whispered. And he was right. You wouldn't just leave like that and not tell Jack. The only reason you had been able to do it the first time was because you knew it was temporary, and small fold in the story you two shared.

"How is he?" The weight was heavy on your shoulders, an invisible force that only left in the depths of night and that was if you were tired enough to fall asleep as soon as your head hit your pillow. Jack was strong, and smart. He'd been through so much worse than a girl who was afraid.

"Well...he visits the roof a lot more now. The first few weeks were...well they were real bad kid." He pauses, like considering what would be too much to tell you. "I offered him to come stay with me, get away from the apartment, but he said he liked it. It gave him a reason to hold on."

Reasons to hold, how very Jack Abbott of him. To want to have hope, to find the reasons even though he wasn't sure where any of it would lead.

"He'd doing better now, I don't have to act like a hostage negotiator too much these days. He comes out to the park with us after work and he makes jokes with the new med students. But he misses you, a lot."

You nodded with a hum into the phone. The sun was so peaceful this time of day, it bounced off the water and on to your skin. You let your eyes close and let your mind drift back to those months ago, from even before the fight, to when things were still solid between the two of you.

Walks in the park after a long shift, hands intertwined as he poked fun at you for your decisions during a shift. The nights spent in bed, room slightly too cold because otherwise you'd burn up with his body heat. Even on the days when it was hard, when his active duty days caught up to him, there was still something to have, because he'd let you hold him, let himself talk and talk about the people and the days of roughing it, of the bad things he saw, of the pain of a leg that was no longer attached to his physical being.

"Kid, I gotta let Gloria know by tonight. Are you back?" Robby's voice broke through the speaker with a crack of static.

"Of course I am Robby."

Now you were running through the airport, hair a mess, sanity hardly in tact. Cassie had been kind enough to come grab you after dropping off Harrison with Chad for the weekend. Today and tomorrow would be your days to get settled, then straight back to it on Monday.

"I've missed you so much!" She squealed, arms wrapped around your center tightly. "You have no idea how much it sucks to have to take on that waiting room with myself and Javadi." She laughs.

"Oh I bet, what would you ever do without me?" You laughed. You held her tight before you both crawled into the car. She started the engine, waving off some security yelling at her and took off.

"How was it?" She asks, face covered in excitement.

"It was amazing Cassie. The people, the pace, the location, all of it was just-perfect." You sigh and throw your head back. "I think it was exactly what I needed."

"That's great." She says. Her tone tells you that there's something else, something on her mind that she isn't saying out loud.

It takes about three minutes of uncomfortable silence and a red traffic light for her to turn to you. "Have you talked to him?"

Cassie was one of about four people who definitely knew what was going on between you and Jack, one of a few who knew lengths you'd go for one another. Her tone is soft, prodding but not overstepping.

"No, Cass I...I didn't want to do anything that might...I don't know, hurt more than it already would?" You sighed. You covered your face with your hands. "I felt horrible, for taking off on him the way I did. But I just...I knew that he'd make me stay."

Cass nods along, listening. She takes your hands in hers, holding it softly over the center console. She doesn't push or try to interject her own thoughts about the whole thing into your mind. She knows you well enough to know that no decision you made came lightly, that it took hours and hours of thought and careful planning.

The light turns green and the car starts moving again. "You don't have to go back so soon. You can stay with Harrison and I if you want to." Cass offers, a small glint in her eyes.

You take a moment to consider before looking out the window. "I need to go back Cass. To my home, to my stuff. I need to go back to him. I ran once but I'm ready. I finally feel ready to face what we left behind." You smile, hands gripping the door handle a bit too tight.

Cass nods and hums. "Just know I'm there. If you need me."

And that's what the conversation is left at. Fifteen minutes later your left staring at your building. Cass offered to go upstairs with you, but you'd elected to face it all yourself.

There were two options that stood in front of you. One, Jack was home, asleep, getting ready to head to bed and face another grueling night shift. The blackout curtains would be drawn and the apartment quiet. Would the floorboards remember your steps or creak under the unfamiliar weight of your long lost body? Maybe they would, and then they'd wake him, and you'd have to explain the last five months of your life to him while he was half asleep.

The other option was simple, he wasn't home, maybe getting groceries before he inevitably came home to crash out on the couch. It had irked you so much when you first started dating. The way he'd get off a few hours before you and offer to do the shopping, just for you to come home and find him asleep in the most neck sore position possible, jacket barely off, jeans twisted too tightly across his legs. But eventually it became a comfort, the way you could rouse him and make him follow you to bed, where you'd help him take off his prosthetic, rip off his scrubs in return for a clean shirt and pj pants. Or sometimes when you were both so tired after a rough day you could snuggle yourself between his arms, him hardly waking up, but still opening his strong arms so you could press against his chest.

And you find yourself hoping it can be like those distant couch sleeps. That he'll be there, asleep on the couch, and you can just lay with him, head pressed against his chest, snuggled right below his chin as his fingers splay over the middle of your back, gripping you as to not let you disappear again.

So when you turn your key into the lock, you take a deep breath. With the click sounding, you push the door open. You roll your suitcase in first, setting it to the side. Then you pause, listening. There's silence, and for a moment you think you're safe. The buzz of the AC when it clicks on startles you, but not as much as the man standing before you.

Jack stands near the couch, hand holding on to it, like he might fall over. He wears a tight black tee, some washed jeans and his tennis shoes. When you finally meet his eyes you see something, a glint of pain? Maybe sadness, maybe shock. His hair is slightly longer along the sides, his facial hair a bit more clean shaven than the stubble you had last seen him in. He doesn't move, neither do you. Its like the saddest cowboy stand off you've ever witnessed.

The click of the door behind you finally breaks the silence. You take a step forward, placing your keys down on the entry table. You can't tear your eyes from his. You wish you could read his face, know where to start on the long list of apologies and begging of forgiveness.

"I know you probably hate me. I know you maybe wish I would have never come back. And I know when I left we were in a bad position, a position that I never wanted to be at with you." Jack opens his mouth to say something, but you're quick to silence him with a raise of your hand.

"But I'm here. I'm here because I love you. Because I never wanted to leave in the first place. And you are the first stable thing I've had in my life since med school." A sudden hiccup burst from you, followed by tears. You couldn't stop it. In an instant your face was crumpled, warm, tears spilling from your eyes.

"Sweetheart..." Jack mutters, marching towards you until his arms swaddled your frame, arms pressing tight around your ribs, fingers grasping at your hair. His face pressed deeply against the crown of your head, and his chest pressed perfectly against your ear until you could hear the thumping of his heart.

"Jack Abbott you— God you fucking took my life and put it back together in ways I didnt think possible. You showed me that I could be loved. I was worthy of love and attention."

You pulled away, Jack's arms still resting across your waist, fingers digging in, as though fully releasing you would mean you walking out the front door forever this time.

"And I ran. I ran because I was so fucking scared that you'd wake up and decide that I wasn't worthy, that you didn't need to be here. And I wouldn't be able to handle that." You glanced at him, and while your vision remained slightly blurred, you found that he was already looking back at you. For a moment you thought pity might be the thing coursing through his dark eyes, but you realized it wasn't even close. It was more like concern, fear.

"I picked that fight because I thought it was the only way to get you to leave. But you didn't. You refused to leave, to give in. And that made me mad." You laugh, wiping your face. Jack cracks a smile, followed by a small chuckle of his own.

"You made me mad because instead of doing what everyone else has done, you planted your feet. And that made me the most scared." You said, staring down at the ground. Jack gave you a moment to collect yourself, and when it seemed your breathing had finally calmed a bit, he took your hands in his, fingers intertwining with his own, his calloused palms pushing against yours.

"I planted my feet because I knew exactly what you were doing." He says, soft, speaking more into your hair than into the open space around you two.

"It was a stupid battle, and you're not stupid, so of course I knew what you were doing. Because I know you, sweetheart." he chuckles a little, the sound vibrating in his throat. "And more importantly, I planted my feet because I wanted to stay. You have never ever been anything short of the most beautiful, loving, smartest, strongest woman in my life. You are the best thing I've had in years." He sighed, his hand lefts yours as it moved up your arm, until it fell onto your jaw, guiding your eyes to his.

"And you put me back together. And I love you for that." He finishes. Neither of you two move, letting each others words swell around your embrace.

Your eyes drop to his lips, soft and kind. He doesn't hesitate, pulling you against him, letting your lips grace each others for the first time in months. You sigh, pressing your body against his. He holds you close as you two drink each other in.

Eventually he pulls away, rests his forehead against yours.

"I've missed you."

ϟ.·:¨༺ ♡ ༻¨:·.ϟ

[cloverstellar]

I think something a lot of the general audience for stranger things is forgetting to consider is WHY Will is so interwoven into Vecna’s plan in season five, and how him dying doesn’t make sense.

Will has now been essentially confirmed as a lead if not the new total main character of stranger things in the date announcement trailer. Why? If he was just a target for Vecna’s possession, wouldn’t the season be marketing him more like it did with Max in season four? While Max had a pivotal role in being possessed by Vecna, she wasn’t THE main character for four, and Vecna clearly needed her dead (and had no qualms about killing El at the end too).

Vecna DOESN’T want Will dead.

Will, while under the influence of the mind flayer in season two, said (in a gross summarization) “the mind flayer wants to kill everyone BUT me.” and now it’s been confirmed by Will at the end of season four in his talk with Mike that it was ALWAYS vecna targeting him, even from the beginning. that means vecna doesn’t want Will dead, and needs him alive. He needs Will for something beyond just being a spy, because a spy is useless once everyone is dead. Why keep Will alive after killing everyone else in season 2?

(putting everything else under a cut bc I ramble)

something about Will is incredibly important to the new seasons plot outside of just a potential possession. If Vecna wanted to possess him for spy purposes or for another gate death, why Will? It doesn’t make much sense outside of that lingering connection to him, because all the characters now know that Will could at any point be walking eyes for Henry, which renders being a spy useless. so why is Will so important to Vecna? It was confirmed by the duffers that we’ll finally see why Will was taken, confirming that it wasn’t just a simple accident like it was portrayed as in season one. And here’s the one reason I can think of:

Will has powers, and Vecna needs them. Maybe not powers in the traditional stranger things hand-raised-bloody-nosed sense, but maybe in a way that’s a bit more like Kali? Something creative. Most powered individuals in stranger things usually make things levitate and mess with objects/minds and can enter the void, but I think Will’s has something to do with his position in the party. Something more abstract, which we know is possible since Kali has powers totally different from El’s. His powers may even play into him being an artist.

We have already seen him using true sight, though I’d argue that it’s actually shadow walking or shadow step, an ability used by clerics in DnD to teleport in shadows (the upside down in this scenario). If he was just seeing flashes of the upside down, the mind flayer wouldn’t have been able to reach him. His soul was genuinely partly in the upside down. (It’s also why he was able to hide so well while down there- and why Jonathan said Will could hide anywhere to hopper in season one- clerics can naturally conceal themselves in shadows, so he could camouflage himself to the upside down better than most).

Will is, throughout the show, consistently being compared to his DnD classes (be that cleric or wizard depending on the characters POV or timeframe). I’d argue he’s paralleled to and called his DnD character more so than any other character, both in merch and onscreen. that’s important because his DnD character HAS POWERS (magic class user), and the duffers been spending all this time building up to the reveal of it in season five. you could say that’s purely coincidental, but if we call back to season two, Mike tells Max that Dustin is the bard, wills the cleric, lucas is the ranger, he’s the paladin, and that el is their MAGE.

mages are wizards. Wizards in DnD gain their powers through intense study and training (El spent her life in the lab dedicated to honing her powers with Papa) and clerics (Will) get their powers from a connection to some divine entity or dimension/creature (Aka the upside down) and whatever new powers Will gained he got from his overexposure to both the upside down and the mind flayer.

what’s interesting though is that even though Will is a cleric, Will calls HIMSELF a wizard, aka “Will the Wise” multiple times both in the show and in comics, and Mike is the one who’s still calling him the cleric.

This could mean that Will’s supernatural plot for season five COULD play into him being a multiclass, and having elements from both his cleric role with Mike and his own self-identifying role as a wizard play into his powers and association to Vecna.

Regardless, Will’s character (be it cleric or wizard) is associated with the light class. It’s why he can use fireballs and cast light spells (use the lights in the upside down). You know what Vecna is called in season four?

a dark wizard. Vecna is the character foil to Will’s (and El’s) light wizard. You know what wills character can cast? Fireballs! What hurts the upside down? Fire. Alongside that, Will clearly has a connection to the gates as well (hence interdimensional cleric powers), and I think it’ll have something to do with Vecna’s leaked line of Will being a builder with him. “We are going to do such beautiful things together, Will, such beautiful things…”

Vecna could need Will’s potential ability to bring the upside down fully into Hawkins, especially since he’s weakened. As we’ve seen in BTS photos, Hawkins hasn’t fully merged into the upside down yet. If the infection of Hawkins slowed to a near stop, Vecna will need Will’s ability to bleed the two worlds together (seen in season one when he nearly opened a gate in the wall of his home), and he’ll do that by trying to appeal himself to their shared experiences over being different, another nod to them being character foils.

(physical evidence of them being FOILs >> their identical drawings)

if henry’s appeal to their similarities doesn’t work, then that might be how a possession could come into play, and Vecna will try to turn Will into a puppet again if he refuses to become his secondhand.

And that’s what’s going to make Vecna fail. He’s going to underestimate Will’s support system. While they’re clearly two sides of the same coin and henry knows that, Will has love and support and family, whereas henry distanced himself from and killed everyone while under the influence of the flayers particles in his system.

That’s a big recurring theme in stranger things; that love conquers all. (Which could be how Will unlocks his powers in season five but that’s another story)

It’s how Max narrowly evaded her death time and time again- she both imagined her happiest moments with lucas and El and latched onto it. Will HAS that in Joyce, in Jonathan, in Dustin, in Lucas, in El, in Hopper, in Mike, but Vecna thinks he doesn’t, because WILL doesn’t think so either. At least not yet.

it’s glaringly obvious that despite being surrounded by people in seasons 2 and onward, Will feels terrifyingly alone. Nobody else has gone through what he has. He feels like he has no one in his corner, especially in season four when Mike pulled away. But part of his “coming of age” as the duffers called it for season five will most likely be his realization that he isn’t alone, that there’s people who unconditionally love and support him through it all, and I think that’ll tie into byler’s relationship blossoming too.

on a more legitimate analysis note, I’ve seen a lot of people comparing Will’s scream of “RUN!!!” to his scream of pain while possessed as the upside down was torched. But to me, I think it was more of a direct callback to when the mind flayer showed up and he yelled “GO AWAY!” Over and over before the possession took place.

But what’s new is the anger in Will’s scream. He could be getting possessed and telling his friends to save themselves, OR he’s fighting back against something while telling his friends to RUN. That’s will, retaliating against whatever he’s looking at above him. Fully surrendering himself to the danger rather than trying to make it disappear. He’s terrified, but also determined and so incredibly angry. (and his eyes are green, not brown like when he’s possessed) He’s not screaming for the monster to leave out of pure terror like his possession in season two, but actively fighting and intentionally putting himself in harms way.

It’s both a significant showing of his character growth and in my opinion a hint that he’s not being unwillingly possessed, but rather giving himself up as a target while someone escapes. A sacrifice. But logically, that only works if he’s important enough to be worthy of that much attention to Vecna. he has something valuable, or is at least significant enough of a threat to warrant that much distraction to save everyone else (him having powers). Honestly, I’m hoping his abilities tie into the creation of the upside down. It’s clear now that there’s a border on the edge of the pocket dimension, like a literal snapshot of Hawkins, and I think it’d be cool to tie in his position as an artist and cleric/wizard into the creation of the upside down alongside El and Henry’s contributions. Among other things, electrical/light centered powers and interdimensional travel powers seem more likely to happen but I think it would be dope to see how that plays out.

ANYWAYS I have more to say but I’m tired maybe I’ll post more later

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/772302271185928192/okay-this-may-be-a-weird-ventconfession-but-here?source=share To the prev anon: The people who get upset about adult writers exploring the sexuality of teenager characters are people who probably still ARE teenagers and don't realize that you don't stop remembering what being a teenager was like just because you stopped being one. When people write about the experience of being a teenager, the absolute vast majority of them are writing from their OWN MEMORY of being a teenager, and picturing how THEY felt/looked/acted at that age, not fantasizing about actual current teenagers. When I see actual teenagers, I'm like "omg you are all babies, I wasn't that young when I was that age!" But that's the kind of thing you can only realize when you've gotten older, and come to understand that all the ages you ever were still exist inside your conscious memory. I think the main reason it's different with teenagers is that they're really only at the start of building that conscious memory. Trying to remember 10-15 years back would put them back at an age of which they remember virtually nothing, and the changes that happened to them within that 15 years are huge--literally taking them from diapers to drivers' licenses. By contrast, for an older adult, 10-15 years starts to feel almost immaterial. I've been at the same job for almost 15 years, for example, so for me, that's not a hugely significant passage of time, and I remember my experience from that time perfectly clearly. I also remember a lot of what it was like to be a teenager, but I remember it from MY perspective, where that was the oldest and most mature I'd ever been, and if I were to write about that time, it would be from the perspective of my own teenage self who still exists inside me in that memory. (There's a reason high schoolers in books and movies always feel weirdly dated, if not set in an earlier timeframe altogether--they're being written by adults who are remembering their own experiences of that time of their lives.) Anyway, my point here is that the vast majority of people who would have any kind of problem with 'writing teens' are just people who haven't aged out of that perspective yet, so they make the mistake of thinking 'ew these adults are writing about ME' when in fact these adults are writing about their own memories of being that age. It's a self-centered perspective that is almost solely the fault of youth and inexperience, and they'll grow out of it. Don't let it get you down, anon.

--

Once you hit a certain age, you start in with "the other day" meaning 20 years ago.

[dreamdolldiary]

#𝟏𝟎𝟎𝐃𝐀𝐘𝐒𝐑𝐄𝐈𝐍𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

This is how we are NOT going to wait until the new year (or a new whatever) to be the best version of ourselves, we are going to change now.

When you want to change, change. Don't wait for anything.

There are about 100 days until the new year. That is 3 months. You can get so much done within that timeframe.

But with the "new year" aside, please know that there is absolutely no rush to improve. It can be July and you can still decide to "reinvent" yourself. This is just a fun thing to do and keep track of.

Not a "challenge" but a way to stay accountable for your goals for a better you.

୨୧ Here is how we are going to absolutely kill it!

1. Pick a number of goals (3-4, both small and large) for every aspect of your life.

Physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, professional, personal.

Physical: 10k steps a day, working on being sober, moving your body around more, getting into bed earlier, reducing screen time, cooking healthier meals, brushing your hair, wearing the nice clothes you're saving for a "special occasion", trying out new looks and clothes, venturing out new styles, upgrading your basic hygiene routine, celibacy, drink more water

Mental: writing down your thoughts, keeping track of your emotions both negative and positive and what triggers them. Get rid of the negative triggers and bring in more of the positive triggers.

Emotional: getting in touch with a therapist, dedicating a journal to release you emotions instead of bottling them in, talking to friends, anger management

Professional: working 1 hour or more of deep work to improve your skills, networking events

Personal: find your old hobbies, discover new ones, pleaseee get a hobby. seriously! trying out new restaurants and cafes, complimenting people and be open to making new friends.

Spiritual: meditation, prayers to yourself or religion you are a part of, nature/solitude walks. These are super important, it brings you peace of mind and a time to really be with yourself and be at peace after your jam packed days

Finance: learn how to budget, no impulse spending, learn how to invest, find a way to increase your income

Important habits to have: waking up and going to bed early, planning your next day, having a set routine and freedom to change it to fit your priorities

Important skills to build: time management and how to focus better

These are just some ideas and I know looking at this list can be overwhelming so you need to remember and understand that you are not going to be doing every single one of these every single day. You are going to pick a few from each category (and seriously, if you think about it, I discuss this in the next section about time blocking, it really does not take a lot of time. Trust me.) and include them into your daily routine.

2. Setting up reasonable time blocks for these goals. Revamp your schedule to fit your goals around your life.

Getting up early is how you get more done in a day. Yes, you can reach your goals even with a full time job.

I work almost 12 hour shifts every week day while taking care of kids, my dog, basically running a household and I still get so much done.

So you've picked your goals. Great. Now take a look at your schedule and figure out what things are taking up most of your time. Is it a long commute? Spending too much time scrolling on your phone? Waking up late? Going to bed late?

Example of time blocking/a schedule:

☆ Mornings:

4am-5am: exercise, pray/meditate

5am-7am: study

8am-4pm: get ready for the day and go to work.

during your work break, you can read a book, get steps in, meditate, have a nice meal.

☆ Evenings:

4pm-5pm: get back from work, eat, catch up with family or have alone time

5pm-7pm: review any notes, clean, meal prep, attend a class you may have, do laundry

7pm-9pm: plan the next day if you have appointment or deadlines, shower, go to bed

Assess how you spend your time and utilize it. Instead of scrolling on your phone during your free time, spend time with your loved ones (pets, kids, partner), instead of staying in one place while you're on a call, walk around to get steps in, there is always a way to implement your goals into your daily life.

Notice how I say fit your goals around your life. You don't want to be taking away important things like errands, jobs, school, being a parent just meet your goals- no. Use your time wisely. That's all. You can fit them.

On the larger goals like taking up a class/large skill, like dancing and painting. On fridays, you'll have dance class and on other days that you have free, you'll be painting a piece or reading your anticipated book, learning a language, trying out a new recipe, planning the next day, taking a spontaneous art class, etc!

Weekends.

Because I work a lot, I like to use weekends to really do deep work. Intensive study sessions. And because I deep work (work with no distractions) I don't need to study all day. I'm getting so much done in little time that I'll be done by the afternoon and I can go out and do errands, get all dressed up and have a nice day out in the city, or just have a relaxing day by doing chores, watching a nice movie and more!

3. Setting up a system so you can actually stick to those goals.

Keep a journal to keep track of what you did today. If you didn't reach a goal that day (and that's okay), ask yourself why? and how does it make you feel? Then take action on what you can do to reach it tomorrow.

Switching. We all know it’s best to not push yourself so hard. For example, don’t do intense exercise everyday. Walking and dancing throughout the day counts as exercise too, so by switching (depending on YOUR goals), you’ll have time for your other goals as well. Here is an example: on a rest day of no exercising, maybe that day is the night I have a ballet class. That is exercise as well. So instead of exercising in the very early hours of my day, I can use that time instead to do more studying OR have more time doing something else.

which means I can do one do the following: spend more time with my pet, read a few pages of my book, make a new recipe, etc.

Ex. 4am-5am - on a no-exercise day, i can study during that time instead. 6am-7am - more time to tackle my other goals.

Create a foundation. If you have an amazing day, felt very productive and accomplished, what's a habit that really helped? For me, it's always getting up early. If I wake up late because I slept late or my alarm didn't go off, my day is thrown off by a landslide. So if you had an off day, figure out why and maybe your foundation can help.

★ That’s all!

If you have questions or need an example to jump off from, click below to read more on how I personally did my reset and how I am still able to get much more done with a full time job.

Stay safe, prospering, and amazing!

Share your accountability posts with the tag #100DaysWithDDD or we can chat through my inbox if you need extra tips, questions or want to share how you're doing/did.

I will be logging my days too, you can find my goals here.

Welcome, welcome!

Here is an example of what I did when I did my reset and still doing now with working.

I chose my goals. I was studying deeply, spending more time with my dog who I felt bad would be bored during my study hours, be more active, get through my books.

How did I start? First of all I got up earlier and went to bed earlier. I noticed that I focus better in the mornings so I would stretch, workout and started studying. Next, I would get ready (nice clothes, my face is clear, hair is brushed), take my dog out, play with him, etc and head to work. See? I already tackled so many of my goals there! Physical, personal, and professional.

Want to get more books in, want to meditate, want to journal? Listen to an audiobook or podcast while you drive, commute, or have a lunch break at school or work. Or don't. Sit in silence and let your mind wander, let those unconscious ideas come up! That's also a form of meditation and having more creative skills.

During my study breaks, I would stretch, walk my dog. Another break, I catch up with the kids, do any short tasks like laundry, mini tidying up. Any break, at all I would do micro-task.

I stopped doing useless things like spending so much time on my phone for what? If I was truly bored, I had done all my tasks but I didn't feel like getting up or doing anything, I would go on my phone... to clean out apps and my camera roll (which has A LOT of things on it I still need to get through). That's the only time I would go on my phone really. The lack of storage on my phone makes it lag- I'm heavily scolding my past hoarder self for keeping so many photos on there

If you work a desk job, get up for phone calls, take laps when there is nothing to do, just get your body moving! Stretch! There is always something to do, you just have to know how and what.

[nicktremblaywayfu]

From the two reagents of the Sinyala Facility, presenting

The second Outlast Trials Anniversary Art Collab event 2025!

Hosted by @nicktremblaywayfu

Co-hosted and facilitated by: VostokLucini

First of all, what is the Outlast Trials Anniversary Art Collab event? As the name implies, this event will be an art collaboration from Outlast fans to celebrate Outlast Trials' first release anniversary! This was started last year, celebrating Outlast Trials' Early Access Anniversary. And now, back in for celebrating Outlast Trials first full release anniversary

[REGISTRATION IS CLOSED NOW! THANK YOU FOR YOUR ENTHUSIASM.

Event Schedule:

19 January - 2 February: Enrollment

3 February - 2 March: Drawing Phase

17 February: First check-into to make sure every participant is in progress (if there is any postponement, do let us know)

24 February: Second check-in In this phase, if you are not able to draw the canon character you choose, a pinch hitter/substitute will be picked

5 March: Posting time!

The timezone will be used in WIB. However, I will make sure the zine will be posted on 5 March, Canada Time.

Art Guide:

The size of the canvas should be 2480 x 3508 pixels portrait (A4 size)

Make sure it is colored with minimum bust-up (Half-body and full-body are encouraged). The characters will have a party theme and accessories, such as cake, party hat, confetti, party horn, etc. Sketch or WIP as submission will NOT be accepted.

The theme will be how the character celebrates the anniversary. You can make it as a full illustration or a character with a party accessory on a simple background.

Traditional Artists are welcome! You can directly draw it on A4 paper or in any size of paper, and then we will crop and adjust it. As for the background, feel free to contact us for help in editing.

Once it’s finished, post it in our discord in the #final-posting-anniv channel

You are not allowed to post your finished art in other social media until the final result is posted. A cropped sneak peek, however, is allowed.

One art page should only contain one character. You can, however, put your Reagent OCS celebration on one page.

Event guide:

You will draw the characters you have picked. Prime Assets, Ex-pops, Reagents, Denizens) and make sure it’s SFW.

The canon characters will be "first come, first serve" however, you can draw additional characters. Please make sure any additional character does not take the spotlight!

To ensure it may be enjoyed by everyone, please refrain from adding shipping elements in the artwork (especially if you add additional characters).

You can also draw just your reagents. There's no limit on reagents if you would like to submit multiple! Give yourself a reasonable workload within the timeframe.

OCs are only allowed for reagents.

After all the art is submitted, it will be collected as a digital, free zine. Every participant will get the file and the digital zine will be available for the public to see

You can print the zine on your own. However, selling it as fan merchandise is STRICTLY PROHIBITTED. Any commercial distribution is forbidden.

The result will be posted on social media with each artist’s credit and shown to Red Barrels. We will also send the digital zine through their email so make sure you give the best of your artwork.

General Rule:

No AI Gen or any stolen media allowed. The participant will be banned and blacklisted. Tracing stolen artwork is also forbidden.

No racism, homophobia, transphobia, sexism, or any form of hate speech is allowed. Bullying/harassment in any form will not be tolerated.

Please ensure you can meet the deadline of the event. This is very important to prevent a participant from only being able to submit a Sketch WIP on the final day and possibly hindering the event.

If there are any further questions, contact me on Tumblr or VostokLucini on discord

See you at the event!

-Cheers, Alvin and Voss 💖

[plumbobpaparazzi]

Peek into my Mods folder...

This is dedicated to @alltimefail-sims or anyone who needs a little help with lag!

I have several mods I refer to as "efficiency mods" that are little quality-of-life tweaks that make the game smoother for me, either by reducing lag or reducing immersion-breaking hiccups. As always, your mileage may vary, but hopefully this is helpful to someone. :) List of mods under cut to keep your dash clean.

No Intro - Whether you are trying to 50/50 your mods, testing new CC, or just need to shave time off your game loading... get rid of the cinematic intro.

Free Will Delay - Do your sims curbstomp their queue and proceed to fuck off to something unrelated? Yeah, me too, until I got this mod. From the mod description: "[E]very time you tell your sim to do something, they will be forced to listen! …For 5 minutes. Then they get free will back again. This is probably why controlling Sims in Sims 4 feels so bad! Because you lose control the second they start doing what they're told. Even if you queue up actions, the total time is STILL five minutes- because it goes from the last direction you give your sim. So you can tell them to do 3 hours worth of stuff while paused…and they'll get control back after 5 minutes. This mod changes this timeframe to an option of your choosing, to make controlling your sims feel more rigid."

Simulation Unclogger - This is an oldie-but-goodie mod from Turbodriver that helps interrupt when Sims get stuck in an endless action loop.

Evolve/Fertilize All Plants - Kind of weird how we can Harvest All but you can't Evolve or Fertilize All, right?

No Empty Venues When Arriving - Helps with the issue of going to a community lot and waiting around for Sims to show up. May cause increased lag if you are bottlenecked by RAM.

Food Autonomy Overhaul - Stops your stupid Sims from eating ingredients, AND allows Sims who hate cooking to autonomously grab quick meals. Didn't know they wouldn't do that? Yeah. That's a thing.

Don't Do That! Version 1 and Version 2 - Removes autonomy on annoying actions that can't be affected by MCCC tuner, like reactions and some trait idle animations.

Less Obsession - Lowers autonomy for certain things without disabling entirely. I still want my Sims to paint, but I don't want them to start a new figure painting any time they are left unsupervised.

Smarter Self-Care - Makes Sims prioritize their needs better before they are uncomfortable. I only use the packages for NPCs and Pets.

NPC Relationship Autonomy Fix - Stops random Sims from breaking into your house to ask to be your BFF (and tunes the requirements so they actually have to be your friend first.)

Buy More Upgrade Parts - Allows you to buy a package of 50 upgrade parts for when you are grinding out handiness or robotics.

The following mods are all by Bienchen and don't have a direct page for each package. You can search by name pretty easily on their website. I recommend flipping through and grabbing anything you find useful - I have a total of 368 of their mods installed. Here are some highlights:

novisibleecoeffects - The aurora will nuke your framerate. I know it's pretty, but oh my god.

noautonomousbakewhitecake - Does what it says on the tin, keeps your house from being overrun by cakes.

harvestnogroupinteraction - Stops club members from autonomously harvesting plants. Those are MY death flowers!

lessemotionidles - Reduces unnecessary idle animations from emotions, great for preventing your Sims from looking flirty at inappropriate times...

lesspreferenceidles - Stops your sims from thinking about how much they like fishing/fitness/etc. when they should be doing things.

happytoddleridledisabled - Stops the idling from the Happy Toddler trait. SUPER useful for family gameplay.

laundry_buffsandsoloidlesfix - Stops or reduces idles related to laundry. It's just clothes, bro

eldertweak - Reduces elder animation idles.

hastopeewalkstyleforchildonly - Helps get your Sims to the toilet in a reasonable amount of time.

tinyhousebuffhider - I know I'm in a Tiny Home, I don't need a moodlet.

lottraiteffectshider - Hides the little floating lightbulbs around Sims heads from lot traits.

notraitnotifications - I know my geek likes video games, I don't need the pop-up every time I play.

noholidayoutcomenotification - Please don't rub my nose in the fact I forgot to celebrate.

nofestivalnotifications and nofestivalnotificationsound - Helpful when a pack is new, but years later... no thanks.

noenrollmentandscholarshipinfo - No more info screen about the two universities. I think most of us know it all by now.

nouprootplant - Never cry because of a misclick again

simschangeoutfitwhenhotorcold - Should have already been autonomous, but alas.

novisualpoliteintroeffects - I don't know if I am the only one, but the glowing really bothers me.

restaurantsittweak - Sit down and eat your dang food! No more wandering Sims.

longerprom - Takes 6 hours instead of 4 so you can actually do something.

I probably have other QoL mods that could be helpful, but these are my recommendations to start with. Love to all the modders that keep this game playable <3

[convexfuss]

Mmmmmmm some silly lil' edits for my AU in progress! First one is a really specific scene I've had in mind </3 There is not currently a name and it is still a WIP but... I have a bit of an infodump I can throw your way! Shifts my feeties... it's below the cut >:3

BEAST YEAST EP 7 - 8 SPOILERS! [Please do not interpret any of this as ship btw tyyyy my SMC is aroace]

I'm still kind of figuring stuff out, y'know! But the basic idea/start is fairly solid, methinks! It diverges a lil' bit right before PVC/Truthless Recluses' awakening. Y'know how SMC jumps at PVC and is like, "GIVE ME BACK MY SOULJAM!" before PVC awakens?

Weeelll... this guy jumps at him twice. It's still in a very short timeframe, mind you, but SMC jumping at Truthless Reclure [in the same way as in the cutscene] and Truthless Recluse retaliating a bit and holding the blunt end of his lil' staff out in a defensive manner. This is, wrong place wrong time wrong angle bad time and it ends up whacking SMC right in the middle of his souljam.

This knocks him back and he lands on the ground and clutches it in pain! Cause OW?! I think the Beasts' are more sensitive to damage to their souljams 'cause they were made with them as a part of their body vs the Ancients' earning theirs... BUT ANYWAY! This all happens very quickly— like I mentioned— and after very VERY brief moment of catching his breath [or cookie equivalent], he jumps at him again, this time with the, "GIVE ME BACK MY SOULJAM!" line.

And, would you know, he gets KNOCKED BACK AGAIN with a direct hit to his souljam, again. This one was muchh less intentional [the first one wasn't really, either, but that was more put of defense [and he didn't know he whacked his souljam; I sill get into this]. Anyway, while he's falling back to his knees and on the ground and clutching his souljam again. PVC is having his Magical Girl Transformation over there.

Anyway. I do wanna yap about something else— I do NOT think the souljams, especially the Beasts', crack very easily. The reason THIS happens is a mix of bad timing, impact location [at just the right spot] + strength, annnddd... perhaps it was a little weak from SMC seeing how far he could push PVC and his souljam. I do believe the souljams are connected to a good degree— faintly, but a wee bit. Enough for, that when SMC was fucking around and finding out, that it ever so slightly weakened his to the point that an impact at just the right place made his crack.

I ALSO WANT TO SPECIFY THAT IT IS A VERY SUBTLE CRACK! VERY hard to see/you can't see it unless you're right up close. But it's still there. And this first crack made it easier to crack it w/ the second impact. But I also want to specify that SMC can feel it. He can Tell. Because of course, it HURTS?! Imagine if your soul got cracked. Owie.

ANYWAY [AGAIN], SMC on his knees during PVC awakening + PVC n GB n Friends convo. Around this time is when PVC notices that SMC is on the ground and he shifts a bit and just straight up asks, "are you feeling well? Your dough looks very pale." And SMC is very snarky and is his typical self, ya know! PVC feels like something is off but can't fully quite place it...

I like to imagine— though this bit is still spinning in my mind so this one part may change— that the, "I can be your friend" conversation happens before the battle instead of after! Cause... he retreats in a very typical SMC-Way during the middle/almost end of it because he feels his souljam cracking more and he's getting so tired. So he DOES retreat and GB n Friends + PVC don't really mind... except maybe a bit of frustration, most of it from WC.

Mmmannyywaayyyy. Since the battle doesn't end w/ SMC, BSC, and CAC retreating through a portal somewhere, the Spire is still standing! And SMC is alone somewhere by himself while the guests are leaving... and BSC and CAC are nearby, methinks. Annndddd... SMC is actively crumbling. His souljam is fucked UP, the battle made it really bad, and part of him is a bit crumbly. He does NOT fully crumble 'cause he's a Beast, I don't think it's that easy to crumble him, but it still HURTS?! And it's very disorienting, you know, cause he loses an eye on his face.

Ppbbbgtt okay that's the GENERAL lore behind it. There are a fee more things I could throw in here but this is good, methinks! This was made to be a Ghost SMC AU... but I'm still working on the ghost part, lmao, if I continue w/ that he'd definitely be more of a partial ghost than anything.

Anyway! Yeah! SMC leaves the battle before anyone can see the state he's actually in. So... nobody (except BSC and CAC) know he's fucked up like this. PVC has an... off feeling, but that's about it.

[moonstandardtime]

OFFICIAL ART COMMISSIONS POST!!!

BASE COSTS

SKETCHES / SMALL DOODLES -- $10

BUSTS / PROFILE PICTURES -- $15

HALF BODY -- $20

FULL BODY -- $30

FULL PIECE -- $38

Communication will be over Discord, or Tumblr DMs if necessary. DM me here or use Ko-fi to start!

previews + more info under cut (blood/gore warning for one of the previews (its part of a screenshot, so not detailed))

WILL DO:

Humanoids

System alters

OCs

Fanart

NSFW (with limits)

Gore (probably not anatomically accurate)

WONT DO (with exceptions):

Super high detail designs (unless you have a detailed ref/are okay with less detail)

Animals

Complex scenes with over 3 characters

GENERAL GUIDELINES:

ALL OF WHAT FOLLOWS, AS WELL AS PRICES, IS SUBJECT TO CHANGE.

Payment via Ko-fi or Cashapp.

Costs are loosely based on an hourly wage. I'm open to minor negotiations, but don't expect discounts.

Payment is up front. If either of us needs to cancel at any point, I will provide (NOT FULL) refunds depending on where I am in the process.

Timeframe is around a week, give or take a few days, depending on the complexity of the ask. My ADHD is awful, so PLEASE pester me!

I need a ref! I'm not great at visualizing from text descriptions, so if you could provide references and a general sketch of what you want, that would be great! It doesn't need to be good at all--what I have in mind is really nothing more than a stick figure scribble. It just needs to get the idea across somehow.

I will work with you and talk back and forth as I work on the sketch! I will also check in throughout the process to make sure everything is going as you wish.

You can ask for a specific style! Simply provide an example of a piece I've done in the past. You can see my art on my tumblr -> https://moonstandardtime.tumblr.com/tagged/venus.art

PLEASEEE COMMUNICATE!! Thank you!

SPECIFICS:

REFUNDS:

- If you commission a piece and you cancel it, you will be refunded for what I haven't made significant progress on. For example, if you cancel a full-body with color, simple shading, and a simple background, and I've finished the lineart and started flat colors, you will be refunded $20 out of $55. You will recieve the unfinished piece.

- If you cancel a commission before I start it, you will recieve a full refund.

- If you cancel a commission before the intial sketch is finalized, you will recieve a 90% refund and the sketch.

REVISIONS:

- You can change as much as you want during the initial sketch. Anything after may come with a fee.

- If you want something changed late into the process, the fee will be increased.

- If it's too late, I may not be able to change it.

COPYRIGHT & USAGE:

ON MY SIDE:

- I reserve the right to cancel and refund the order at any time for any reason.

- I retain all copyrights over the commissioned artwork.

- I will NOT claim the intellectual property (IP) of the commissioned artwork (your characters are still yours, etc.)

- I will NOT profit further from the commissioned artwork unless you (the customer) break any of the terms.

- I reserve the right to post the commissioned artwork online and in my portfolio..

ON YOUR SIDE:

- You may upload the commissioned artwork on any website and social channels.

- You may NOT make profits from the commissioned piece (reselling, redistributing, uploading to POD-services, making prints for selling, etc.)

- You may NOT alter the commissioned artwork without my consent.

- You retain the rights to the intellectual property (IP).

- You may NOT use the commissioned artwork for commercial purposes.

- The following is considered copyright infringement:​

- Reproducing/using the copyrighted artwork commercially - means making money off it in any way not excluded from these terms.

- Claiming the artwork as your own.

- Altering the artwork without my consent.

[breakyourrxles]

❥between two breaths (m) | 𝟙𝟚

𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐲

↳ When two conversations come to pass, you find yourself in the precarious situation of navigating both:

One, an inkling of something you'd expected.

And two, the uncomfortable truths of the situation you have wrapped yourself in.

kim sunwoo x fem!reader (side lee juyeon x reader) — idol!sunwoo, fan/trainee!reader. forced proximity, forbidden love, friends to lovers, angst, slow burn, idolverse-typical themes regarding; dating, image, public perception, etc. happy ending, plot-heavy!! reader thinks she's nonchalant about it but she rly isn't. smut. [6,4k wc ongoing] cws: heavy themes of wanting-but-can't-having, mild jealousy, explicit sexual content, a little alcohol consumption, dancing on the edge of career suicide, poor decision making because of The Wanting.

❥ masterlist | ao3

He laughs under his breath, shaking his head in disbelief at his own words and then says, "And even still, even knowing this, I still do it. I still choose you every time."

September rolls around and marks the fact that your debut anniversary is just around the corner, but with so much on your mind you find little time to enjoy the success of that.

Days after your meeting with your manager, word begins to spread amongst the members about the impending comeback. Woori breaks the finality of it to the team in a group text message, but appears to know just as little about the details of it as you do. The meeting is set for tomorrow, and though you want to be excited about that fact, it is just another thing that remains hampered by the invisible elephant in the room.

You've still not managed to reach Sunwoo, but you do know that he is home now.

It's unlike him to not bother with hounding you, tracking you down and sending a wave of messages about any such thing. The kind of guy who repeats texts back-to-back despite not receiving a response, the kind of guy who always has something to say and may resort to ridiculous threats should you not reply in a reasonable timeframe as decided by him.

But now, there is silence, and you can't help but wonder if the meeting with his manager has anything to do with it.

Stuffed into a tiny corner table inside of the cafe, you idly scroll through your phone and pick at a sandwich that's sat in front of you.

You don't look at the articles. They exist and you know that and you find little need to continue to check on them. Whether more come in or they all disappear, it's of no consequence to you. All that can happen now is that the conversations that need to take place, do. One of them being a very uncomfortable conversation with the man that you can't seem to get sat down for it.

The bread is a little stale, and as it crumbles down to the plate your eyes follow the journey. That is, until your attention is driven to the body that's standing in front of you.

"Hi."

Without asking, Sunwoo slots himself into a chair that's shoved between a wall and a trash can, hardly enough room to even pull it out. He makes something of a ruckus about the whole thing, though it's of no fault of his own, but it does draw a bit more attention to the two of you than you'd really like to have. All things considered.

With a low, quiet voice you say, "Is this a good idea right now?"

"Well, I'm a bit wrapped up lately, if you haven't noticed! I don't have a lot of time to talk."

The inflection on the last word implies far more than conversing might normally entail.

Thankfully, the table immediately beside you is empty, though the one after that is full with company staff members who do not directly work with either of your groups. It's as good as it's going to get, you figure, though the most important topic at hand is going to have to wait until a far more opportune and private time.

Your eyes break away from him, and looking back down at your lackluster sandwich you say, "Now who isn't answering their messages?"

"I know, I'm sorry." Sunwoo immediately relents to it and accepts his wrongdoing in a way that comes as a little bit of a surprise to you. He exhales a heavy sigh, slumps into the chair and says, "It's been rough. I've been non stop hopping flights, attending events, shaking hands… I barely even know what time it is on any given day with the amount of jetlag I've been dealing with."

"Yeah, I know. Just sort of a bad time to start ghosting, you know?"

Sunwoo's eyebrows furrow just a bit, he seems genuinely shocked by the message hidden behind the actual words. "You think I'm…?"

A small smile creeps in, and glancing up at him briefly you say, "No, but sometimes. Maybe."

He shoots forward, arms against the table and leaned far too closely towards you for what's comfortable given your location. Sunwoo's eyes are judgingly narrow and soft curls curtain over them like usual, and despite his pleasant appearance, he is obviously far from pleased by what you've just said.

"Me?" he whispers, "You think me of all people is going to ghost? Guy who constantly injects soulmate romance anime directly into my bloodstream like it's the only thing that sustains me. You think I'm not about this life for real? I'll stand on this table and tell everyone what we've been up to right now!"

Groaning, you say, "Please don't do that, and besides, based on what the gossip sites have been saying I don't think you really need to. I'm sure you've heard."

Sunwoo sits back into his previous lazy position but this time crosses his arms over his chest, petulant and disgruntled. "Yeah, loved having that sit down with my manager at two in the morning in fucking France."

"What'd he say?"

"He shook me down for about an hour about whether or not I have a girlfriend." Sunwoo rolls his eyes. "And when I wouldn't say that I do—because I don't, though of no fault of my own—he kind of gave up and just told me to get my shit together or things were gonna get ugly. Whatever that means. What'd your manager say?"

"Somewhat the same," you admit. "Though he erred more on the side of not being all that interested in whether or not I'm involved." Looking up at Sunwoo, you give him a small smile and say, "He did tell me to pass along the fact that you need to get it together, though."

"Crazy that they immediately put the target on your back," Sunwoo says, exasperated by it all. "Why does no one believe I know other women? This is nuts! I know other women!"

Shrugging, you say, "On the bright side, no one online seems all that convinced of it. No names, no guesses. So really, this has nothing to do with me!"

Sunwoo's eyes shift past you and towards the table of people seated just nearby, and obviously forgoing the thing that he actually wishes to say, he instead relents to the surroundings and only says, "Yeah, I guess it doesn't." His attention then falls to the picked apart sandwich at your hand, and with clear intent to change the subject he asks, "Are you going to eat that?"

"No," you say, sliding the plate over to him. "I wouldn't really suggest you do, either."

"I don't even care at this point. I've been so busy I've hardly had time for a proper meal in weeks. Speaking of…" Sunwoo says, trailing off but leaving time to take a hard-fought bite out of the stale bread. "I did a really interesting photoshoot in Japan with this up and coming photographer, I don't know when the pictures are gonna come out, but they look amazing. Don't be jealous when all my fans start swooning over me again, okay?"

"I've long since been out of the swooning life. They can swoon as much as they like, that's the point, isn't it?"

He grins just slightly, a sort of devilish sparkle sitting in his eye as he does so and then says, "No, not entirely, anyway."

Growing tired of his antics, you opt to change the subject. "Tell me more about this photographer, you seem fond of him."

"Her," Sunwoo corrects, "and yeah, she was amazing. We talked a lot in between rolls and I guess she doesn't do a lot of idol work but really wanted to shoot me. Can you believe it? This face always coming in clutch when I need it to."

He waves a hand around his face and pouts his lips to drive home the point, but you give him little more than a tired roll of your eyes in response.

"Don't you have somewhere to be? Somewhere that isn't here, bothering me before I have to get to work?"

"Yes, but you were throwing a tantrum in my messages so I figured I should probably stop by. Oh, how the tables have turned!"

You throw your napkin at him, and he scrambles to his feet just as quickly. "I'll find you later," he says, and you don't like the hint of nefariousness that hangs alongside the threat.

The day is upon you, and the members of MVNE all sit scattered around the elongated table with messy hair and lazy sweatshirts as a staff member from the company goes over the up and coming plans for a fairly hurried comeback schedule.

Normally, music video filming might already be completed. Instead, the following days will involve long hours spent in a salon chair, numerous fittings for attire, and a gauntlet of choreography and line learning; not to mention the studio time necessary for actually recording the song.

You like the demo, and it doesn't sound particularly difficult as far as delivery might be concerned. Recording should be smooth and probably the least time-intensive of all of the tasks required. The woman standing at the front pointing at individual aspects of her Powerpoint presentation insists that it won't be demanding, but really, you can't imagine her to be much of a judge of that.

At one point in the meeting, Woori's eyes find yours, and a quick roll of them commiserates your feelings.

In times like this, you can't help but wonder why the preparation for this is only starting now. MVNE have been busy, but not so much so that there would have been no way to get the wheels in motion long before now. The Boyz comeback has only just ended, and the understanding of not wanting overlap is not lost on you, but that doesn't mean that there had been no reason not to begin recording, filming or choreography learning in the meantime.

It is mildly annoying, a feeling that sits heavy in your chest amongst all of the other ones. A plethora of displeasure. So many options that you can choose from inside of you to ruminate on at any given moment; comeback plans, poor company management, articles online, and amidst all of that—Sunwoo, in general.

To say you feel insecure about where you stand with him would not be an understatement, and while your short conversation with him in the cafe has done its best at staving off those unfortunate thoughts, it cannot possibly be enough. You remain unsure of what the two of you are, and more than that, unsure if you truly wish to delve into an actual discussion about it, either.

Partaking in the perks of a relationship without actually calling it as much won't save you from the hammer of judgment in the public eye should all of this go awry, but for reasons unbeknownst to you, you cling to the idea of it as if it might.

As the meeting comes to a close, agitation has drifted up and taken hold. You do as you're meant to; smile, thank everyone, play the part of an idol who is forever thankful and indebted to the people who have sacrificed so much so that you and the other girls could be here today. It's all a farce; avaricious shareholders sitting at the top to throw money and ideas down the ladder for the smaller, lesser people to bend backwards into forming to fruition. A fact you have always known, and on the worse days such as this, one that makes the smile formed on your lips just a bit more forced than before.

It sounds dramatic when you recount it to yourself; really, you're just having a bad day.

Nara notices your scowl once you all shuffle out of the room and back down the hall. Separate schedules await all of the members, but for you is the promise of a couple of free hours until the late afternoon. Choreography is set to begin as soon as possible, and you're already dreading whatever it is that is awaiting you in that place.

"Do you want to get something to eat downstairs?" she asks, but you're quick to shake your head with plans already made in the back of your mind.

"I'm gonna take a walk, I think. Get some fresh air before this disaster of the next couple of months starts."

She accepts it without pushback—expected from her—and heads off to the next thing that sits upon her plate. You try not to let your thoughts take you to a darker place as you make your way down to the lobby and onto the street, because ideally, you would like to actually enjoy the reprieve that your little, secret coffee shop typically has to offer you.

You take one last inhale of fresh air from the outdoors before stepping inside. The little bell up top jingles, but what awaits you there is something you are not expecting.

People…?

The girl behind the counter looks up and then gasps, wholly unexpecting you at this hour. It's only then that you realize that you don't come here during usual operating hours, that of course it is likely for other patrons to be inside, and that your being here at all could pose an incredibly difficult situation for the people meant to be running it smoothly.

She whips around and dashes over to you, takes you by the arm, and begins ushering you towards the back. Apologies drop from you without more thought accompanying them, but she doesn't seem upset by your being here. 

Eyes from the people seated inside seem less interested in who you are, and more intrigued by the sudden bustle of her shoving you away from them. It all happens so fast; past the counter, beyond the small door that leads to the bathroom, quickly brought past piled boxes and broken chairs that sit piled against a wall and only barely kept out of sight with a hung, purple sheet.

Before you can gather your bearings you are brought around another corner into another small room with a tiny window near the ceiling and a single, tiny table. Seated there is none other than Juyeon.

He looks up at you with a smile already pulling at his cheeks, seemingly amused by a scene that he hasn't even had the luxury of watching play out. "You came in through the normal entrance."

"I didn't know there was another option."

"It's business hours, you're an idol, you can't just waltz into any ol' place anymore. Sit."

The girl hurriedly locates another chair and sets it up at the opposite end of the table, though it is so small that it hardly feels any different from the exact place that he is seated. You exhale heavily, the messiness of the day wears on you in ways that you know are evident to anyone that sees you, and Juyeon is nothing if not perceptive.

"Long day?" he asks.

Your face falls into your hands. "We have a comeback in two months."

"Ah. Yeah, we know that one." Juyeon slowly shoves his cup of coffee towards you and bumps your arm with it so as to alert you to its presence and then he says, "I take it you just got out of your meeting then."

"Everything happens so much."

"And it's going to continue to, so you're just going to have to get used to that." His hand finds your wrist and gently tugs one of your hands away from your face, forcing eye contact between you. "I heard about the other stuff."

You groan through a "yeah."

"I'd love to be able to tell you it's going to get better, and in a lot of ways, it will. It's going to take time, though. The early years are the worst. If you can get through this, you can get through anything."

The girl returns with a cup of coffee and a sandwich of your own. You thank her, and as she leaves, the door to the room is surprisingly slid shut.

This sound makes you alert, and you twist back to confirm the fact. Once you come to fully understand that you are now sharing a private space with this man, you slowly turn back to look at his softly grinning face.

"It's not often that we get to enjoy time like this," he says. "Idols in general, I mean. Just a sectioned off, secluded space to simply be ourselves, and with the company of others who share the burden."

"I try to avoid being alone with any men at this stage in my life, for obvious reasons."

Sitting back, Juyeon shrugs and brings his mug to his lips. The sip he intends to take is paused, and before he does he says, "That's probably for the best, as you've seen, but…" He drinks his coffee, narrow, dark eyes never leaving you for so much as a second and continues with, "Not everyone is as reckless, you know."

With your heart beginning to race, you make an attempt to talk down what you feel might be beginning to form in front of you. Your time spent with Juyeon over the months is something that you have very much come to enjoy; a friendship, a comradery that you don't have with any of the other members of his team, and that feels good to have with someone inside of the idol space, but not amongst your own members, either. Someone who understands, someone who has shared parts of themselves with you, and that has allowed you to do much of the same unto him. You've been so caught up in a whirlwind of something that lately, you don't think you even really understand. Now, you sit and wonder, have you missed this all along? 

Has the way Juyeon looks at you right now, always been the way that he has looked at you?

With a trembling hand, you take a sip from your drink and go to set the mug back down against the saucer, but with your attention still fully grasped by Juyeon, your aim is off; the bottom of it finds the small spoon setting against the porcelain, and it falls to the cement floor deafeningly loud to your sensitive and highly-alert senses.

"Fuck!" It's the first thing that comes to mind, and you wholeheartedly mean it as you scramble to the ground. You can hear Juyeon chuckling under his breath at the exclamation, and as you finally locate the wayward silverware your head juts up to find his face only mere inches from your own.

You hadn't noticed him drop down in an effort to aid your search, and now that the two of you are here together beneath this cramped table space, it feels as though the entire world stops.

His eyes drop down to your lips, your breath catches in your chest and you hold it there remaining perfectly still. Memory recalls your first photoshoot together and that moment in which he had done much of the same; his hand on your leg, the smell of his cologne, the very first time you had allowed yourself to really, truly see him.

"Talking like that is going to get you some online articles of your own," he says, voice low and tone heavy in a way that is felt right down to your bones. Slowly, the distance between your faces begins to close. You remain statuesque as it does, resigning yourself to this, allowing it. Maybe even…

"Sunwoo and I…"

It all but falls out of you. Some inkling of a truth that you've not admitted to anyone, that has never left the confines of closed spaces and secret affairs shared only between the two of you. You recognize it for precisely what it is: something that needs to be done, an honesty that needs to be expressed with urgency, and while the guilt of having done so is of no surprise to you, what does come as a surprise is the tinge of regret that prickles at your skin.

Juyeon stops, pulls away slightly and with wide eyes of genuine stun he says, "Oh, I didn't know you were dating."

With the stupid spoon in hand, you finally climb back into your chair and once seated back into some sort of relative order, Juyeon awkwardly glances around a bit and adds: "For once he didn't say anything about it."

You slowly close your eyes and contemplate what would have to happen for this day to get any worse.

"I wouldn't say that we're dating."

He cocks his head quizzically. "Sleeping together…?"

"I wouldn't say that, either."

"Sounds complicated in exactly the sort of ways I might expect from Sunwoo," Juyeon says, and you're charmed by his ability to quickly brush off the messy happenings of only moments prior. "Then the gossip sites are right. They didn't allude to you, so I presume there's no concern of the two of you being spotted out together?"

It all sounds so juvenile when you are forced to put it into a verbalized perspective. You take another clumsy sip of your coffee and say, "No, we don't really… go out."

Juyeon laughs at that. Full and hearty, and it does little to quell the humiliation already rushing through your veins.

"You don't go out, but you're not sleeping together, either." He leans back and crosses his arms, less judging, and far more amused. You're not sure which you might prefer. "I hate to say it, but this is just so incredibly him. Sunwoo really never is going to beat the loser loverboy allegations."

Flustered, you feel driven to right some sort of incomprehensible wrong that you're not even sure is being spoken of. "I mean, it's not like we're not…"

"Oh, I'm sure, but he's just not the kind of guy that's going to rush to it," Juyeon says. "He has all these romanticized ideas about life, love… sex. I'm sure you've noticed."

The crushing realization that you're talking about not fucking Sunwoo with Juyeon suddenly becomes dizzyingly apparent,  and your palms find your face once more.

"You don't have to be embarrassed about it," he adds, "I had my suspicions."

"I'm not embarrassed!" you say, though that's an obvious lie and you make quick work of trying to amend it. "It's not that. Neither of us have told anyone about this, and now all these articles are coming out and we have to have meetings with our managers about them and deal with the thinly veiled threats that come along with them. He's never around, he's too busy; now with my own comeback around the corner I'm going to be too busy, and it just sort of feels like—"

"What's the point?" he interjects.

"Yeah," you say through a sigh. Admittedly, it feels freeing to be able to talk about it with someone that you know is safe to do so with, and so, you continue. "Sunwoo has all these ideas—like you said—and sometimes it feels a little bit like none of it is really grounded in reality. I'd like to be all-in with him, I'd love to be able to meet him there, but sometimes it feels like I'm the only one out of the two of us that's willing to take the rose-colored glasses off and look at this with any level of realism."

Juyeon listens to your words and for a moment, sits with you in silence as the aftermath of your truth washes over the both of you. He offers a small, understanding nod that, for once, gives you the kind of comfort that you've long since been seeking when it comes to all of this: that someone gets where it is that you're coming from. That your apprehensions are not unfounded, and that the worry you carry is very much grounded and real.

Then he leans forward, hands folded against the table and says, "Do you want me to be honest with you?"

The question feels daunting in ways you couldn't have anticipated, and though you strongly feel the urgency of something that you do not want to hear sitting on the other side, you muster up the courage and tell him "yes."

"The worst thing that can happen is that the company catches wind of this before anyone else does," he says, voice soft and quiet despite your privacy. "I know that sounds backwards, how could it be worse than the public finding out? But I promise you, once they get a hold of it then they'll be able to spin any kind of narrative they want, and there's no telling what that could be. Media play against you, media play against him, they might even want to force you into admitting the truth despite it not even really being the case. Whatever they think works best and easiest for them is what they're going to do, and absolutely no consideration for either of you will be taken into account."

The thought of it sends chills down your spine.

"Honestly? You'd be better off just hard-launching on social media," he adds.

"Are you insane!?"

Juyeon laughs at the outburst. "I'm not saying you should do that, I'm saying it'd probably be better than whatever they could cook up. None of us want to think about it for obvious reasons, but those people don't care about us. That's just how it is. The point I'm trying to make is: this isn't sustainable as it's currently going. Sunwoo is about as hard to see through as a window pane, he's already slipping up enough for his fans to notice. Won't be long until one of you gets caught out in public with the wrong hoodie on because they got swapped on the bedroom floor."

Another groan escapes you. Indeed, you did not want to hear this level of truth-telling.

"I like to think I'm a little bit smarter than that one, at least."

Eyes on you firmly, Juyeon raises a pointed eyebrow and says, "I am not concerned about you."

"Alright, then I have to ask," you say, melting down into your uncomfortable wooden chair, "If you were in this situation, what would you do?"

"I want to be clear that I never would be in this situation, for starters." 

You do not appreciate his comical prowess at this given moment.

"But…" he says, carrying on, "If I was, and this wasn't just some fleeting, fun moment in both of our lives that neither of us genuinely see a future in, then we'd just have to sit down and have a very serious talk about it. Lay everything out on the table; your feelings, what both of you want out of this, how to move forward in a way that doesn't jeopardize both of your careers. It's not going to be fun, and both of you are going to have to give up a lot and choose not to do certain things that you probably really want to do. Secret meetings at restaurants or trips to places together; that's all a thing of the past now, it was the moment you signed that contract and then stepped out onto that debut stage."

The weight of a reality that you've already known feels suffocating now, more than ever. You have no words to give to him right then, only a thin, tight smile that you hope gets across your thankfulness.

"I know you know all of this," Juyeon adds, "Now you're going to have to remind him before the company does."

It's daunting, and your swift trip to the bathroom afterwards is less because of the coffee consumed, and far more to expel the contents of your stomach; truth and all.

There are no sick days in the life of an idol, and today more than ever you are made painfully aware of that fact.

Your stomach still twists with the reminder of a conversation prior, but there is choreography to learn and a comeback looming in the near horizon that tells you that you are not afforded the common luxury of sitting at home and feeling sorry for yourself. No one cares that you're not feeling up to it, and your job is to shut up and make everyone believe that you are.

The elevator doors open, and the cleaning staff must have just had their way with it because it reeks of products and sanitation. This scent is nothing new to you, though it is one that you have long since become accustomed to in a way that you almost don't even notice these days. It serves as another reminder of why you are here and what is expected of you; to be perfect, to rise to everyone's expectations at all times, and if you can't, then you better pretend that you can.

Or else.

You press the button for the twelfth floor, light-headed and uncomfortable. Now is your last chance to shake all of this off and walk into that room with your best face on and the capacity to learn.

After three floors, the elevator stops, the doors slide open, and your stomach fucking drops.

"Sunwoo."

He is delighted to see you, and you wish that you could match his enthusiasm. Perhaps in any other circumstance, during any other day you would, but with the events regarding your comeback, regarding Juyeon, regarding him only just having happened, the best you can give him is an awkward smile as he enters along with you.

And he wastes no time closing the distance between your bodies.

Your hands fly up and force space, lightly pushing him away from you as you insist that he doesn't do this.

"I've missed you," he says, and you are so weak to him by now that your efforts to keep him at bay quickly fall flat. Sunwoo's hands slip under the hem of your shirt and fingertips press into the skin of your waist as he draws you closer towards him. "I want to see you, I have to leave again soon, but before I do…"

Just as your back finds the wall of the elevator, his lips press against yours. Your breath leaves you, all of the fight you had just had dissipates in that very moment. How do you find the strength to turn away something that ultimately, you desperately desire?

Palms pressed against his chest and once used to push him away now curl into the cloth beneath them to hold him in place. Sunwoo's mouth slips down from yours to travel the line of your jaw and subsequently along the column of your throat. You've been here so many times before that it comes as second nature for your head to fall back and allow him to have his taste. Warm breath wafts over damp patches of skin where his tongue has just been, your eyes flutter open as the elevator continues to slowly travel towards its destination; and then, you spot it. The camera hanging in the corner, placed to watch for any misdoings.

Your blood runs cold, all of those feelings of horror, and fright, and anger rush through your body once more and you shove him away with all of your might. Sunwoo stumbles back, shocked and confused by the sudden turn of events, and you nod up towards the recording device that clearly, he has not been made aware of through the numerous years prior.

"Oh, they don't check that thing unless something happens," he reasons, "Ya know, like if someone got, I don't know, killed or whatever, then they check the footage. I promise they're not scouring hours of footage to see if their talent is making out in the elevator."

His nonchalant attitude about the entire thing only serves to anger you more, and with a plethora of things you want to say, you have to steady yourself and think through the options as to not land a far more hurtful blow than what is deserved. The truth of the matter, however, is that you are hurting. You have been hurting under the tremendous weight of a situation that only you seem to be bothered to care about even half as much as it is deserving of, and now that the final straw has broken the camel's back, you can't help but unleash it and force him to share that pain.

With trembling breath, you shake your head and say, "You can't keep doing this. You're going to destroy everything, you're going to ruin both of our lives." Your voice shakes as you speak your truth, the unbearable agony of all of this finally spilling out of you, tears beginning to well up in your eyes. "You're so fucking reckless. Do you even care if anything happens? Maybe you can handle the blowback of something like this coming out, but I can't. Do you even think about that, or is all you think about just whatever you want in one, single moment?"

Sunwoo stares back at you with a dumbfounded sort of expression, but you're not finished.

"You're gone all the time, you don't even answer me when I try to get a hold of you, when I try to have a very serious discussion about what is already beginning to happen to us. You're so fucking immature! You can't just disappear and then show back up like nothing has even happened, continue to act like this like nobody is ever watching. Sunwoo, they are watching! And guess what? They fucking know." 

"I said I was sorry," he mumbles out, barely audible.

The lashing of your words is visible on his form. Sunwoo stands in front of you with a fallen face that no longer shows any signs of the jovial, bright-eyed idol that you've always known and adored. What stands before you now is a man that is faced with the mounting consequences of his actions—actions he has not fully considered as they have taken place—and the aching understanding that he has, in fact, been wrong.

"But…" he says, and that singular word sends piques the anxiety already coursing through you.

"You think you're the only one that stands to lose everything from this?" Sunwoo's arms dangle lifeless at his sides as he watches you, his expression a somewhat indiscernible mix of thoughts and feelings that he never quite has been able to fully conceal. One of many you are able to pick out, however, is woundedness.

"You think this won't ruin my career if it were to get out? You don't think that's something I think about and grapple with every single day? I make a choice every time we see each other, and I'm forced to decide if this—what we're doing—is worth it to me. You think I'm not thinking about it, I have to think about it. It's all I think about every second of every day."

He brings a hand up and drags it through the air as if to highlight a line of invisible text standing between you. "'Senior idol grooming fans, predatory behavior, power imbalance fully acted upon,' that's what the headlines will read. You think that's something I can recover from? Something I just brush off and don't have the mind to consider? Have you considered it recently? Because you used to, at least."

"Then why are you so reckless about it?" you ask, pleading for his understanding. "The fans have noticed, people have noticed. Now that the idea is out there they're going to continue watching and looking for the signs, and it's only a matter of time until one of us slips up, we can't keep—"

"I want to see you!" Sunwoo snaps. "You're terrified! You want this but you're unwilling to take the leap, unwilling to take any steps that make this safe because you're afraid if you do, then that's going to make it too real. It's like… you think that if you're a bystander in all of this—if I'm the one that takes all the leads in it—then you'll have enough plausible deniability to escape the wrath of public perception when it inevitably does break. Does that not sound like you're perfectly happy to let me take the fall for this?" He laughs under his breath, shaking his head in disbelief at his own words and then says, "And even still, even knowing this, I still do it. I still choose you every time."

Sunwoo's honestly hits you hard, and though you part your lips in hopes of issuing a reply, all that rips from you is a terrible, gut-wrenching sob.

"Honestly, what else do you want me to do? We can put the ball in your court and we both know where that will lead. If that's what you want, then you should just say it." His voice shakes at the tail end of the sentence, and you can't bear to look at him for fear of what you might find. "We don't have to do this, we can call it quits right now and I'll deal with that. But…" Finally, you force yourself to look up at him. This isn't what you wanted, this is so far from what you wanted. Sunwoo shakes his head gently, as if he is as much in disbelief of this outcome as you are and finally he finishes it by saying, "How long do you expect me to pretend that I don't lo—" Ding!

The elevator stops, the doors fly open, and there stands Serri, Kaia and Miyoung.

Sunwoo turns to look at them, and you meet their awed stares at the scene that they have just stumbled upon. Not a single word is spoken for what feels like a lifetime to you, the seconds ticking by like hours as silence fills the space. All you can hear is the pounding of your heart in your own ears, that is, until Sunwoo exhales a heavy sigh and fully turns to face the three of them.

"Listen to me very carefully," he starts, with a firmness to his voice that you've never quite heard before. "As your senior, this moment right here? This never happened. Are we clear?"

All three of them nod slowly.

"Great." It's far from great, and the sarcasm dripping from Sunwoo's utterance of it makes that incredibly clear. He turns back to look at you as you quickly try to wipe your face and make yourself presentable even though the damage has already been done. He sighs again and simply says, "I'll leave first."

And leave first, he does.

[mywitchyblog]

Tarot Readings :

Greetings Dear Shifters,

I hope this post finds you well. I’m currently in need of funds to start a business, and as a broke college student, my money is—much like my heterosexuality, nonexistent!

To support myself during this time, I’ve decided to offer readings. Your support would mean the world to me, and I’m excited to connect with you through these sessions.

Rules and Conditions for Readings:

Provide Context: Please share the context behind your request. Why are you seeking this reading? Tell me about your shifting journey and any relevant details you can think of. The more information you provide, the more accurate your reading will be, as it helps me connect with you on a deeper level.

Spread the Word: If you’re satisfied with your reading, I kindly ask that you reblog or share this post along with a review. Your support in spreading the word is greatly appreciated!

How to Book a Reading:

Visit my Ko-Fi Page: Head over to my Ko-Fi page to make a donation corresponding to the reading you want.

Include Details in the Donation: In the description of your donation, please include the name of the spread you’re requesting.

Follow-Up: If you haven’t received your reading within a reasonable timeframe, (48 hours) don’t hesitate to send me a message with proof of your donation. I’ll make sure to get back to you as quickly as possible.

Please note that failing to follow these guidelines may result in an inaccurate reading or delays in service.

Available Spreads and Services:

Below, you’ll find the various spreads and services I offer. All prices are in Euros, as I’m based in Europe. Although we may be in different time zones, rest assured that I’ll complete your reading as quickly as possible.

Thank you for your support, and I look forward to providing you with a meaningful reading!

MasterList :

The Shifter's Compass: This 5-card spread is designed to offer insight and support on your reality shifting journey. 15

The Crossroads Compass: This 4-card spread is designed to connect with your spirit team (higher self, spirit guides, deities, etc.) and gain guidance on which reality to prioritize for shifting right now. Its the perfect spread for when you don't know which reality to shift to right now. 10

The Shifter's mirror : This 6-card spread helps you explore and understand the self you become in your Desired Reality (DR). It's perfect for those who want to dive deeper into their DR identity.18

The Reality Bridge : This 5-card spread is designed to help you build a stronger connection between your Current Reality (CR) and Desired Reality (DR), focusing on harmonizing these aspects of your existence.15

The Path To Shifting : This 7-card spread is ideal for those preparing to shift, providing detailed guidance on the steps and stages of the shifting process.20

The Shifter's sanctuary : This 4-card spread helps you create or identify safe spaces within your DR, providing comfort and security during your shifting experience.10

The Shifter's map : This 8-card spread is for advanced shifters who navigate multiple realities or wish to explore different aspects of the multiverse through shifting. 25

Custom Tarot Reading : If one of the spread i gave you isnt what you want ,i can give you a custom reading. It can be as long as you would like .The price is 3 per card if you want a 3 cards spread it will be 9 bucks a 8 card spread 24 and so on... You have to tell me what each card represents.

Here are the reviews for the readings i gave as proof :

[newstedz]

snowfall ☆ kirk hammett

okay so i'm relatively new to this but i just was so inspired by @mustainegf 's prompt that I just kept writing and writing and you get the idea. basic gist is that kirk calls you over to watch an old movie with him, its all fluff (timeframe is around 1987, post damage inc. tour.) also sorry for the incredibly generic title I literally cannot think of anything else

exhausted was an understatement.

you'd finally gotten a day off, and god was it needed. you barely had any energy to get out of bed to grab a snack, much less go outside. besides, it was freezing, and as much as you loved the idea of snow, it loses its charm when you're stuck waiting at the bus stop in the middle of a blizzard.  the day is yours, and ideally it would have been spent alone, tucked into bed. but then, you got a call. your stomach instantly dropped. you anticipated it'd be your boss, fabricating some asinine reason for you to appear at work today, even though nobody in their right mind would be out in the cold just to go to some shitty retail store. you pick up the phone with a groan. however, you're met with another familiar voice. one you weren't expecting, and suddenly, that dread in the pit of your stomach is replaced with butterflies.

"hey!" kirk beams from the other end of the phone. "sorry- did I wake you up?"

"no." you reply. granted, you weren't fully awake, but you didn't have the heart to make him think he may have been burdening you.

"oh.. okay!" he says, not seeming to need much convincing. "anyways, i just got this tape, you've gotta see this. it's some horror movie from like, the 50's or something. I got the tape  from this guy, he- I mean, that's not really important, I guess." he says, his enthusiasm dwindling as his voice grows more shy. "but I was wondering, I mean, i'd really like for you to come over and watch it with me. if you want." he offers sheepishly.

you can't help but smile. if it were anyone else, you'd consider making up some elaborate excuse about how you caught a stomach bug or fell ill after standing in the cold for too long. but you've known Kirk since you were kids, and you can't remember the last time you guys got to really hang out. between you working and his touring schedule, things just never seemed to work. it was something special to him, too. you knew how involved he was in tape trading, horror, and all that stuff you couldn't quite wrap your head around. but for him, you'd do it in a heartbeat. you gaze out the window. it's still snowing, but it had slowed to flurries. a thin layer of snow coats the grass and branches of the trees. you can't pass this up.

"sure."

"really? nice! so um. I'll see you." he exclaims, abruptly ending the call before you could even ask when he wanted you to be there. you sigh, getting up and heading for the shower.  one long bus ride later, you arrive at his door. as soon as you knock he rushes to the door, trying (and failing) to hide his excitement. "hey!" he grins, showing off his adorable, crooked smile. he steps aside allowing you to enter. "sorry its a mess in here. i just got back.." he murmurs. you cant help but laugh. "its whatever, man. i've seen worse from you." you reply, earning a chuckle from him. as soon as you two get settled, the snow gets heavy. very heavy. seems like you made it just in time. kirk seems to notice too. "looks like you're stuck with me."

_

the next hour is spent watching the movie, though it seems like it was only used as a catalyst for the two of you to play catch-up and for him to infodump trivia about the film. though you can't focus on the movie, at least not now. you're too focused on the way the light shines off his face and curls. the way he incessantly giggles when recalling a crazy road story. the snow is piling up outside, and it's only now that you realize he was trying to talk to you.

"hey, did you hear me?" he asks, tilting his head. he figured he was talking your ear off, though you really could listen to him all day.

"huh? i- no, you're good. i'm just.. cold." you attempt to wave it off unconvincingly, only leaving you to be met with more of his concerns. "are you okay? you were kinda just staring. are you bored? we can do something else, if you want." he murmurs as he gazes briefly at you, only to shift his focus to the TV screen. it could be the lighting, but you could've sworn you saw the lightest tinge of color come to his cheeks. 

"what about you?" you ask. the whole time you've been here, you've gotten the basic stuff, yeah. but it wasn't as personal as it used to be between the two of you. you used to stay up for hours talking about your worries, your goals. you were the first one he told about anything, and vice versa. but now it seemed like he was nervous just from being the same room with you. 

"what about me? i'm fine." he shrugs, now trying to shift the attention back to the movie.

"then why wont you look at me?" the question sorta just slips out. you didn't mean to pry, today was supposed to be lighthearted, but kirk's reaction seems to confirm your suspicions of there being something more, as he begins to stumble over his words. you place your hand gently over his. "you know you can talk to me, right?" as your eyes meet, his face goes red. "it's stupid." kirk murmurs again, though he knows he can't hide this from you anymore. "i feel like.. i'm running out of time. I mean- you're not always gonna be waiting around for me, and it's like whenever i'm gone, i.." he trails off, shifting his gaze away from you yet again. he takes a deep breath, gathering his courage. "I like you. like really like you, and I don't wanna drift off from you or mess anything up-" kirk rambles on, but you've heard enough. you laugh, suddenly scooting closer to him. all you give is an affectionate "shut up" before your lips meet. you move away to see his shocked expression, but he quickly swaps it for a huge, dorky grin as he pulls you in for another.

a few more shared kisses later, kirk pulls away, staring back at the window. he turns back to you. "y'know.. it's pretty nasty out there. maybe you should stay the night." he grins, not subtle in the slightest. you can't help but laugh and nod. suddenly, the room feels so much warmer.

[applejewel-and-pinkamena]

Princess Celestia loved answering letters from curious ponies across the land of Equestria, and sometimes, she would get a particularly juicy question, and sometimes, she would get a letter like the one she got this very day:

"Dear Princess Celestia, what was it like to be raised by and to study under Starswirl the Bearded? Please feel free to include as many details as you want about him, his parenting, and teaching methods."

The very name brought back a world of nostalgic memories that Celestia had locked deep within herself!

Starswirl the Bearded

Now that was a colt to look up to, and his parenting had made the two sisters who they were today. And so she began writing in great detail about his methods.

Thank you for writing to me dear Barflight Clipper.

Starswirl was a marvellous mentor and father figure, he taught me everything i would ever need to know and more, with remarkable success, and imprinted upon me and my sister solid moral values that stand to this day. Your letter rekindled fond memories of his lectures, where we would have to listen very carefully as he dissected a given topic, then we would write essays on said topic, he would grade them, then he'd move on with the lecture and have us write another essay and answer a sheet of questions in a limited timeframe, and after a third delightful lecture we would get the exam for the day, just completing this exam usually took each of us around 2 hours, barely enough to slip by Starswirl's time limit! If we got a perfect grade, he'd even allow us the privilege of going outside for five whole minutes! The excitement of fresh air and grass as a filly still lives within me! All in all classroom time was around 9 hours give or take; if we got less than a perfect grade then we would have passed, if we got below a 90% then he would give us a good whacking with his trusty ruler, and if we went below 80% that'd mean no dinner for the day and triple whackings! Oh, i remember one time Luna got the worst grade either of us ever grazed, a 62%, Starswirl had her locked inside her room for 9 months after giving her the whacking of her life, i was responsible for sliding lunch under her door everyday, alongside the day's worksheets, i just had to make sure to never talk with her until the punishment ended or else i would get locked in my room too! Talk about proper discipline! Luna was never the same since.

In the middle of writing her letter, Celestia was interrupted by Luna, she was having another episode where she would pause in the middle of an activity and stare at a wall as she stood completely still, barely even blinking, she snapped out of it after an hour or so.

And speaking of punishments, you may be pleased to hear that Starswirl was the inventor of homework as we know it today! After the daily exam, we were always and without fail be given a good couple pages of homework that needed to be given back complete the next morning to be allowed breakfast, usually oatmeal with water was his go-to, but when he was feeling spicy, he would make us some delicious carrot bread with extra crust, the crunch lives within my brain to this day. And of course, any wrong answer in the homework was a good reason to deny either of us the privilege of breakfast, and if it didn't meet Starswirl's generous threshold then he could deny breakfast for two days, three, a week or two, up to a month as he did to Luna a couple of times if memory serves me well. A fair whacking could take place as well if the homework was unacceptable, a whacking was also a good answer to a sneeze outside of recess or private time, and it served as a concise review of any incorrect answer to his many random questions in the middle of lectures, and anypony entering his chambers or taking more food than allowed or otherwise sticking their nose where it doesn't belong, would mean an extended session of whacking, after the first two years of his parental duties, he graduated us from The Ruler, to The Belt, which was much more effective at whacking misbehaved fillies into shape; much later, into our teenage years, we would graduate from The Belt, into customized paddles for each one of us, he was very considerate to have individual discipline devices for each of his favorite daughters/pupils! Mine got quite a fair bit of use, but is still preserved with love, Luna's on the other hand broke eighteen times if i remember correctly, and he always replaced it within the minute.

But i know that the fillies of today may find his methods to be a tad strict, but let me tell you, he had a reward system as well! He would give each of us acts of love based on who could surpass the other in his many competitions and challenges, for example, he could decide that our afterclass chatting was too irritating, and begin a week-long competition between us two, to figure out who could keep without speaking the longest, it was me of course, Luna was not strong enough to stop herself from yelping in pain as she was whacked during a lecture for slouching, this landed her a week locked up in her room, and as a reward, i got to hug Starswirl! One of the most treasured memories of my entire life. Or this other time where he put a lollipop on display, so as to tempt us to break the rules and grab it, it worked with Luna and Starswirl convinced the police to arrest her for 3 months over it, she still had homework to do of course, with extended work sheets as punishment, and you see, back then toilets didn't exist so the officers passed her a bucket and- well, details are up to your imagination, but in any case, my reward were 10 minutes of recess with less supervision than usual, nice!

Oh, and speaking of recess!! I have this hilarious moment in mind, Luna was allowed a recess at one point, a bit of a rare ocurrence, but she ended up accidentaly looking at a colt, Starswirl immediately cancelled our recess and gave her extra homework, and made her write an essay on why romantic love is a distraction for a future ruler, and gave her a whacking session everytime it didn't pass and made her restart, took her all day but she made it, although she couldn't finish the homework in time for breakfast and had to go without it the next day, in that sense Starswirl also taught us about how when one door opens, another closes.

On that topic, his biology lessons were enlightening, we learnt from an early age that a hippogriff delivers babies to couples who love each other very, very much; Luna once found a Biology textbook in Starswirl's archives that stated something very different, and then he punished her with three hundred whackings and a visit to the corner, since we shouldn't read those until we became 23 years old and "ripe for marriage" as he would put it, i still haven't read it as a precaution ever since he vanished, but Luna has taken peeks without my permission (whackings have been delivered too).

He also successfully snapped Luna out of her edgy teenage phase, by burning all her clothes and making her wear a proper dress the rest of the year, and assigned her some extra homework, i think that sent her on the right path!

"Right Luna?" Asked Celestia as Luna slowly composed herself to talk "i remember the walls of my room, they became my only friends, i can still hear their screams" Celestia just laughed "oh Luna! You are so silly!" And she returned to writing

Luna just told me a very funny joke, i think she was referring to the time Starswirl found her sending letters to a colt in secret, or rather, when i revealed to him that she had done this, apparently they had become pen pals for quite a while, Starswirl made her send the colt a strongly worded letter where she would insult him to sever their bond irreversibly, then made her burn all the letters she kept of his alongside her own furniture, and made her sleep on the floor of her empty room for seven months give or take, she knew to never keep secrets from him after that, i am glad to say that she has not been negatively impacted by this in the slightest!

Celestia was interrupted by one of Luna's fits, she would throw herself to the floor and cry uncontrollably for no reason; but Celestia had a solution, she fetched a small pony doll and threw it towards Luna, who caught it and began taking care of it "shh, shh, you are safe now little one, nopony is going to hurt you" and Luna then returned to her dark, cluttered room.

To conclude, he had this wonderful tradition he passed down to us, where he would display a framed picture of his favorite students in the Main Hall of his castle, i could confidently tell you i never remember a picture that wasn't of me being put up! After all, the made such a display out of calling me his favorite student everytime he could. Oh how i love reminiscing of the good old days, i will consider writing a column for the Canterlot Newspaper about him, i hope ponies like you can use his wisdom to educate your own foals in the future.

Yours truly, Princess Celestia.

[sleepingdeath-sapphic]

hiiii i love how you’ve laid out your blog it’s so easy to navigate :)

could i request best friends to lovers with Gamora either a one shot or head cannons and possibly smut if you’re up for it ? thank you <3

friends to lovers hcs ; guardians of the galaxy

thank you for requesting anon <3

this includes gamora <3

reader is assumed as gender neutral <3

my account is 16+, please interact accordingly <3

note : i’ve never properly written for gamora before so this is quite short, i may eventually come back and rework this. in the meantime, i hope that you enjoy this sfw post lol <3

this is pretty much the only way to end up in an actual relationship with gamora — not just because her traumatic past has left her with plenty of trust issues and a strained relationship with intimacy and affection, but also because unless you two are something extremely casual she needs to know that she can (a) trust you to not turn her in for a bounty from her adopted father or anyone else who may have it out for her, (b) rely on you to have her back and help her out when things get difficult in general life or in the heat of a battle (yes she’s more than capable of defending herself, obviously, but having someone that looks out for her at all times massively lessens her burdens and makes life a whole lot easier), and (c) know that you’re looking out for her best interests and are willing to step in and speak out if she’s in the wrong or needs to adjust her approach for a particular mission (seeing feared and known as the intimidating assassin she trained to be is good for the ego and all, but having someone who loves her enough to stand up and correct her when she’s wrong just as much as they’ll stand by her when she’s right is really important), and having a background of intimate friendship would have more than given you the time to prove yourself to her in these ways and thus would make the transition to being romantic partners much easier for both of you

additionally, as her closest friend you were already gamora’s confidant — so trusted that you were the first one she came to about any and all fears and concerns and frustrations with the rest of the group, so trusted that she’d often reconsider her stance and approach if you advised her against it, so trusted that you were the one she’d seek out when she was more sober than she wanted to admit in order to vent about the difficulties she’d faced in her life before meeting you all, and likewise she was the one you’d go to for all the same reasons — and consequently you entered your relationship without any secrets left to keep and felt no need to hide anything from each other going forward because of this established routine (after all, why would you change what isn’t broken?)

the shift from strictly platonic teammates and (in quill’s words) besties to romantic lovers and bedmates would have been extremely slow — slow enough that neither of you would be able to, in hindsight, point to an exact moment or timeframe where things felt noticeably different — and would have felt so natural that there wasn’t really an awkward crushing phase for you both to experience because you didn’t even notice the shift happening until you were well and truly on the other side of it

it wasn’t as if one day you were just friends and the next you were kissing. no. more like you both continued to get closer and touchier and more relaxed around each other as time went on and gamora got used to casual physical intimacy until one day you just looked at each other, realised something had changed, and quietly acknowledged it without saying anything or putting a label on it because it just felt right

you never called her your girlfriend, but she was the person you’d give your life to protect

she never claimed you as her lover, but you were the person she couldn’t bare to lose

you never said that she was more than a friend, but you were always at your happiest and most relaxed when she was safe by your side

she never announced that you were dating, but she was always quick to scare off and threaten anyone who tried to flirt with you when you were out and about as a group

neither of you cared about naming what was between you because all that mattered was how you both felt, but everyone else knew that you two cared deeply and intimately for each other and were generally just happy for you both

but that didn’t mean that the other guardians didn’t (often very crudely) tease the living hell out of you both when one of you emerged looking exhausted from the other’s bunk or when they caught gamora admiring you from across the room, and it certainly didn’t stop nebula from picking up on her sister’s feelings and very bluntly interrogating you both about your relationship after she joined your ragtag travelling group

[shunin-gumis]

Designs of Happiness - Track A21

L4mps Main Story Translation

Title: As a Human Representative

Characters: Daniel, Nagi, Netaro

Summary: Daniel finds Nagi collapsed in the lounge area. Although Nagi did not reveal the reason for it, he had discovered Netaro’s true identity… 

Thank you aca @463ce6, myun @/myuntachis Niri @/Niri_riri and jes @/arcanecrayonn for helping me with proofing!

Location: Hakodate - Hotel Lounge

Daniel: Phew… This is pure bliss~ Saunas really are the best… 

Daniel: Huh?

Nagi: …… 

Daniel: Nagi, what’re you all sprawled out on the ground for? 

Nagi: …… 

Daniel: I get that it was too hot for you, but you're just gonna end up catching a cold if you do that right after a bath.

Nagi: …… 

Daniel: You could at least— Wait, is he knocked out!? 

Daniel: Nagi, you okay!? Get a hold of yourself! 

Nagi: Ugh… Buchi-san… 

Daniel: Good, at least you’re conscious. Did you get dizzy? 

*Netaro pops out from behind Nagi*

Netaro: I believe this is a minor case of anemia. 

Daniel: Woah– Damn, you scared me. Didn’t know you were here too. 

Netaro: Mhm.

Daniel: At least help him out instead of just sitting on your ass with popsicles in both hands!

Netaro: Nyam nyam. 

Daniel: Nagi, think you can stand?

Netaro: Can you~?

Nagi: …Oh, yeah. 

Daniel: What’s wrong? Was it really just anemia? 

Nagi: …… 

~~~(flashback)

Netaro: Hm… So be it. I was inclined to hold back for a while longer, but now that it’s come to this—

Netaro: You’ll have to suffice.

Nagi: *fearful breathing*

Nagi: (I feel like I’ve been struck with sleep paralysis— )

Netaro: You’re unable to move, aren’t you~ It seems the heat from the sauna has caused me to glitch, you see. 

Netaro: I cannot even mimic the human form at this moment… 

Nagi: (M-Mimic…?)

Netaro: Would you like to see my true form? I’m right beside you. 

Nagi: !?

Netaro: Those retinae of yours cannot retain my image, so I’m Invisible Netaro now.

Netaro: In accordance with Article 1156 of the Interstellar Constitution established by my planet, any local lifeform that learns of my true form is applicable to receive necessary information and given the opportunity to make a choice.

Netaro: At the same time, exceptional measures are to be taken in the event of the endangerment of an official investigator, such as myself.

Nagi: (????)

Netaro: I, Netaro Yowa, am an extraterrestrial lifeform from the planet “Proxima Centauri b,” designated as such by you earthlings. I have arrived here for the sake of a certain mission.

Netaro: As this mission is top secret, you will not be made aware of the details, even if you choose to follow Article 1156.

Netaro: My main goal is to conduct an investigation on the primary lifeform on this planet, the human race, at a military-level secret operation. However, in the event of an emergency, my life is to be prioritized over that of the local lifeform. 

Nagi: (W-Which means…?)

Netaro: In order to maintain my continued activities on this planet, as well as my mimicry of the human form, I need to intake a specific amount of adaptive factors within a fixed timeframe.

Netaro: I would like you to act as my prospective donor. 

Nagi: (I don’t get what he’s saying…)

Netaro: This is all you need to understand—

*Netaro reveals a contract*

Netaro’s Proposed Contract

The following agreement is made and entered into by and between Netaro Yowa (hereafter referred to as “Recipient”) and Nagi Hachinoya (hereafter referred to as “Donor”):

The Donor is to provide the Recipient with a specified amount of his body whenever it is requested of him. a) The frequency and volume may vary, as long as it does not lead to the Donor’s loss of life.

The Donor must not reveal any confidential information about the Recipient to any other lifeform (including AI).

The Donor must cooperate with the Recipient to ensure that no confidential information is revealed to any other lifeform (including AI).

In the event that the Donor breaches any terms of this Agreement, the Interstellar Court will act as the court of instance with exclusive jurisdiction over the matter. The Recipient has the right to restrain the Donor until a resolution is reached.

Netaro: I’m certain those back on my planet will have no complaints in this case. 

Nagi: (This is getting more and more confusing… What does he even mean by “a specified amount of his body”...)

Netaro: As long as it is something produced by your body, anything is fine. I quite prefer blood, myself.

Nagi: !!

Netaro: To put it simply, if you refuse to act as my donor and protect my secret, you will die. 

Nagi: !?

Netaro: Local lifeform Nagi: You have two choices.

Netaro: To agree to this contract, or to be eaten whole by me; which do you prefer?

Nagi: …!

Netaro: Will you cry? Are you tearing up~? I enjoy tears almost as much as I do blood~

Nagi: …… 

Nagi: Will it hurt…?

Netaro: I could indeed compound a drug that could numb your sense of pain, but that will have to be for next time!

Nagi: I won’t… die, right…?

Netaro: You just read the Agreement, did you not!? I wouldn’t want to destroy a precious dispenser of adaptive factor!

Netaro: Though, I’m not entirely confident, as I’m far too hungry at the moment. 

Nagi: …… 

Nagi: Okay. I’ll do it. 

Netaro: Yaaayyyy~!

Nagi: Even if I did die, it’s not like it would affect anybody. 

Nagi: You might be an alien, but I don’t think it’s very nice to leave someone alone when they’re suffering… 

Nagi: I don’t want you to have a bad impression of earthlings… 

Netaro: Good. You are prepared, yes? 

Nagi: Huh, wait– Right now? Here!? Hold on–

Nagi: A-Ahhhhhhhhhhh………

~~~(end flashback)

Location: Hakodate - Hotel Lounge

Daniel: …Nagi, you listening? 

Nagi: *gasp* Oh, sorry… 

Daniel: You sure it’s just anemia? 

Nagi: Yeah. I’m okay now. 

Daniel: Alright, then sit down over there. You want a popsicle? 

Nagi: Oh, but I already had one so… 

Daniel: Then I’ll give you my share. What flavor do you want? 

Nagi: Thank you… Then, I’d like pineapple. 

Daniel: Got it. Netaro over there is just stuffing himself on these though, geez. 

Netaro: Nyam nyam.

Nagi: …… 

Daniel: Here. 

Nagi: Thank you.

Nagi: …… 

Nagi: (This is orange…)

Netaro: Delicious, is it not? Gii.

Nagi: Urk… Yeah, it is… 

Netaro: Shall I share some of my grape-flavored one with you? 

Nagi: …!

*Nagi bumps into Daniel*

Daniel: Woah there, what’s wrong? You just sprang out of your seat like some grasshopper. 

Nagi: It’s… nothing. Sorry. 

Netaro: Even though it’s so delicious… 

Nagi: …… 

Notes:

Proxima Centauri b is an exoplanet orbiting within the habitable zone of the red dwarf star Proxima Centauri, which is the closest star to the Sun and part of the larger triple star system Alpha Centauri.

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[redasmyblood]

I Will Possess Your Heart // Part 4

Oliver Reed x Reader

Part 3 < > Part 5 (wip)

Warnings |  Explicit sexual content, oral (m recieving), cursing

Word Count | 3.6k

Authors Note | I take a lot of breaks, I think you guys have caught onto that by now. I don't want to sit here and be like i'm really busy guys, sorry but truly i'm just so busy and my heart hasn't been in writing at all. I want that to change but I can't make any promises. For now, as a peace offering, here is the next part to I Will Possess Your Heart and hopefully the fifth and final part will be releasing very soon after.

The morning slides into the afternoon and the afternoon slides into the night and before you know it, once again you are beneath the covers of Oliver's bed, ear pressed to his chest as you listen to the slow, content beating of his heart. Although he denied his tiredness he has fallen into an easy sleep with you beside him and though anxiety pools in your stomach you refuse to deprive him of the sleep he seems to need so desperately.

You know you should leave, you can't stop thinking about it. Who in their right mind seeks a stranger out in the dead of night due to car troubles and then let's him entertain them for a weekend with sex and booze? It wasn't a normal situation and the guilt was truly getting to you.

For now, you decided, you'd sleep. At this point in the evening there wasn't much for you to do in terms of relieving Oliver of your presence and you weren't even sure he'd want you to go when the time came. So, sleep. It was a problem for future you to sort out.

~

And so, morning came, much faster than you'd have preferred but seeing Oliver still sound asleep, face beautifully calm in the morning light you knew it was time to go.

Reasonably, there is no way, no way at all that you have fallen so deeply for a stranger. You've known him for two days and already you felt an attachment that makes you shiver when you begin to even think of severing it.

Finally, you rise, peeling yourself carefully away from the bed and assuring that Oliver says sound asleep. Before leaving the room though, you move to stand on his side of the bed so you can brush a kiss to his hairline. You feel bad about what you're going to do but you know that if he woke and asked you to stay again, you may not be able to bring yourself to say no.

Once down the stairs, stepping as carefully as you can so as not to make much noise, you begin searching for your phone. You expect not to find it without a fight but there it is, perched on top of your now cleaned and dried clothes that lay folded on Oliver's desk in the living room. Miraculously it still has a charge to it and in an even greater leap of luck you now have cell reception.

Without thinking to hard on the money you're able to set up a tow truck and a ride back into the city where you reside, all things able to be neatly wrapped up before dinner time this evening.

You'd really feel unforgivable if you didn't leave something for Oliver, some sign of life, maybe an apology letter. After a small bit of deliberation you decide to scrawl your number on the legal pad you find at his desk and a short note. You don't feel the need to say much as you really aren't certain of your feelings yet but still, you make sure it's something substantial enough not to leave him with hard feelings.

With that, you gather your belongings, opting to keep the clothes he's lent you and call a car. Not a single sound alerts you that Oliver has stirred awake and for that you are grateful. You'd rather be out and gone without a word, like some specter or ghost, unseen.

The car pulls up within a timeframe you're certain is impossible considering how far out and into the woods you are. Once situated you take one more look at the manor house before your driver pulls away. You swear that in one of the windows on the top floor you can feel Oliver's form, standing, stoic. It takes all of your willpower to turn your cheek and leave without a single whisper of a goodbye.

You're doing what needs to be done. You can't live in a fantasy with a man you barely know. You hope he calls, of course you do but you know it's better for both of you if you're rid of the house now rather than later.

~

Days went by, days and days and days until the days faded to weeks and now, it's been almost three months since you left Oliver's glamourous home. Almost three months since you scrawled your phone number on a notepad atop his desk. Almost three months without a single call. Almost three months since you were forced into the realization that you won't ever be seeing him again.

Huffing you curl your body sideways, allowing your forehead to rest on the chilly glass of the train car you're sitting in. The world moves by in a blur and as you watch you wish the endless slew of city lights would swallow you whole. Ever since you left his house that night, you'd felt empty which almost made you laugh considering you had nothing to build upon apart from the strange situation you had found yourselves in and incredible sex.

An automated bell dings and your stop is called out by a voice that is equally as artificial. Gathering your bag and pulling your coat on a bit tighter you stand to leave. As you approach the doors, which are very slowly hauling themselves open you're robbed of all breathe.

With a dull thud your purse hits the floor, "Oliver?"

His eyes are tired and dim but when he hears your voice they seem to open wider and brighten. "Y/n?"

None other than Oliver Reed is standing at the very end of the train car, following a short line of people to exit the vehicle. The world stops around you and the overwhelming rush of emotions that grasps you keeps you glued to the spot. Hardly aware of people pushing past you to get off the train you take in Oliver's appearance and your heart aches. He's wearing a vest similar to the one he shrugged off after inviting you into his house on that fateful night and a pair of slacks. His hair is neatly brushed unlike the tangled tresses you were so used to. Even as the sky donned the night like a silky, starlit nightgown he wore a pair of oddly cut sunglasses that somehow looked perfect on him but would make anyone else look ridiculous.

Finally your brain catches up and before you realize you're doing it you rush towards him, belongings forgotten on the floor. You stop right in front of him, mere inches away from touching, your hands folded together at your chest, "I never thought I'd see you again."

He huffs out a breath and reaches for you, placing a hand on your cheek. "Neither did I."

As though you've been forced back into your body and made to see out of your eyes you blink away the haze of excitement just enough to remember that you're supposed to be exiting the train. He makes a noise of affirmation when you turn to get your bag and grab his hand, pulling him off the train and into a tight embrace once you're steady on your feet. Both of your hearts are beating fast and hard, as if to escape their confines and meld together, two halves finally whole. Oliver holds you against him and now that you're back in his arms you never want to leave. The cold outside does it's best to chill your exposed skin but the warmth of the man in front of you helps quell the bite.

When he pulls away you step back, blurting out the one thing you couldn't stop thinking about, "You never called."

"I didn't know what to say but--" He sighs and looks at you, forlorn "--please believe me when I tell you that I wanted to. I think I was just... confused."

"I do, I swear. I just wish that you did. I--" You pull yourself into his chest again, pressing your face into the crook of his neck to bite back your words, not ready to fully realize how deep your feelings run. "God, I missed you."

He smells the same as before, warm, sweet and slightly alcoholic. "I've missed you too, love."

You break away for a moment and just stare into each others eyes, the train leaving the station a blurry background noise to your occupied brain. The entire world around you has dimmed and all you know is Oliver, all you feel is Oliver, all you want is Oliver. Without really thinking you thread your fingers through his hair and pull his lips to yours, smiling at the softness of his mouth moving in sync with your own.

When his hands move to your hips and pull you flush against him you smile against his mouth and he hums. It feels perfect.

All of the questions, the worry, the unanswered want, they're all melting away and making room for this moment. You never thought you'd be reunited and now that you are it's sweeter than you could have ever imagined.

"Let me buy you dinner," He mumbles, words muffled against your lips.

"Please."

~

You both walk in silence, the streetlights illuminating the rain speckled road. Apparently Oliver is in town for a movie audition and plans to be around for a few days, the thought that you'll have him nearby for the weekend puts an immovable smile on your lips.

Hand in hand you make your way to a small pub and as soon as you enter you're warmed from the crown of your head to your toes. The lighting is dim and the bar is crowded with people but somehow you're able to find a little booth tucked away in the back. Everything is falling into place as if this moment is destiny. You truly believe that to be so.

Once you've ordered drinks, Oliver places his chin in his hand and gazes upon you with nothing but pure bliss and adoration in his eyes. "It's so fucking good to see you, love. I never thought I'd be able to again."

You look up at him through your lashes and smile bashfully, "I never thought I would either." You still can't shake the hurt of knowing that he was fully capable of contacting you the whole time but chose not to. Clearing your throat you lock eyes with him and press again, "I still don't really understand why you didn't call."

He sighs and looks to the side, avoiding the almost accusatory expression on your face. "I just... I was upset and confused and I really thought that your number may have just been a courtesy. I didn't know if you actually felt the same." The pained look on his face makes you reach out for his hands. You take them in your own and rub circles into the backs of them with your thumbs. His instinct at first is to pull away but quickly he melts into it and lets out a deep breath through his nose.

"I'm sorry."

Completely shattering in the moment the waiter walks over and places your drinks down. Oliver nods his head at the boy and then looks back to you. "So, do you come here often?"

A dumb grin pulls on your lips and you laugh. "I do, in fact. I live just down the street." You cock an eyebrow at him "What brings Oliver Reed to this neck of the woods?"

He looks surprised for a moment before you can see on his face that he realizes he hasn't explained his presence in your city. "I've got brunch with a director tomorrow, I was coming in tonight to stay and get my bearings before we met."

"Funny coincidence that you end up so close to me," you laugh, truly just so happy to be in his presence.

"You've got that right, love. What a surprise to see you on the same train as me, I thought I was hallucinating until you came right up and I could touch you."

"Well, I'm real and I'm right here and I am just as surprised as you."

You both sit in silence for a moment, just staring, taking each other in. What a situation you have found yourselves in, to being on the same train and now to knowing that Oliver will be staying a night in the place you've lived your whole life.

"What do you say we head back to mine after dinner?" You ask without thinking "You could even stay with me for the night if you want. Though I'm sure if you've booked a hotel you'd better stay there..." You trail off, slowly getting quieter and mumbling throughout the sentence but he shakes his head.

"How could I ever say no to you, darling. Let me worry about the hotel and I'll let you worry about leading the way." Letting go of one of your hands that you didn't realize he'd been holding he reaches to sip his drink. Taking the opportunity you run the toe of your shoe up his leg, you hope the gesture is sexy and not awkward. Guessing by the way his eyes darken and how he sets down his glass, you had the effect you were going for. Something about him makes you so much more playful and daring than usual. "I think I might take you up on that sooner than I had anticipated."

"Patience, Oliver, patience." You send him a flirty wink and he just smirks, a million plans of what he could do to you seemingly flashing behind his eyes.

"I'll show you fucking patience doll, just you wait." The look in his eyes has your pressing your thighs together.

You spend the rest of the night drinking and laughing and shamelessly flirting. It feels so natural and now that you've fallen into a rhythm with him you don't want it to stop.

You cash out and leave quicker than you'd anticipated, dragging him down the street. You truly do only live a couple blocks away and in this situation that is more than perfect. You're both itching to get inside.

The whole walk you're both giggling like teenagers and Oliver can't keep his hands off of you, the entire time his arm is firmly planted around your waist, effectively keeping you pressed into his side.

"This is my building, right here" You say, fishing out your keys as you walk up the steps and approach the door. Once unlocked you lead Oliver by the hand to the elevator.

Almost immediately the doors open and as soon as you step in Oliver is on you, pinning you to the wall and kissing your neck. He presses his leg between yours and grips your chin so he can give himself all the room he needs to suck and lick and kiss at your throat. You giggle and pull him off of you just enough to haphazardly throw your hand to the panel of buttons on the wall and hit your floor, all the while his hands are trailing down your top until he can slip them under your shirt and cup your breasts.

"So impatient" You breathe, the words holding the same cadence as a soft moan. Despite your words you thread your hands into his hair to pull him back and grind down on his thigh.

"Seems like you're the impatient one, you and your needy little pussy" He practically growls.

You can feel your cheeks get hot and when he looks down at you you almost melt. Every time your eyes meet it feels like an electric shock.

"I think you like it." You whisper, guiding his mouth to yours by a soft hand under his chin. He releases a content sigh when your lips meet, almost melting completely at having you this close again.

"Oh yeah? and what makes you think that?" His voices is taunting and his breath is warm against you cheek as he breaks the kiss to speak.

Instead of using words you slide the hand that isn't holding his face between your bodies, palming him through his pants. Usually it's him that does the smirking but right now you have the most smug look on your face and he does nothing to challenge it and regain control. A whimper-like sound shakes out of him and he leans into your touch, starting to press his hips harder into your hand as you rub your hand against him faster.

The elevator doors opening makes you both freeze, your bodies eerily still. He rests his forehead against yours and sighs. You're reluctant to break apart but force yourself to in favor of being able to indulge in the privacy of your apartment.

Once again, Oliver's hands refuse to leave your body and when you get to your door he presses himself against your ass, letting you know just how hard he is... as if you weren't already aware. "When that door opens... I'm going to ruin you" He murmurs into your hair.

"Oh I'm counting on it" You throw back, pushing the door open and stepping inside. Instantly following through on his threat he slams the door closed and spins you around, starting to unbutton your blouse. You might have assumed that he'd already been in your apartment by the way he walks you back to the couch without hesitation but you have a feeling that if there was no couch to run into he would've kept walking you back until you ran into something else. He just got lucky, apparently.

When the backs of your knees hit the arm you're almost forced to sit down which brings you level to his belt. You slide back so you can kneel on the couch and then pull him closer by said belt. He abandons any attempt at removing your shirt when he sees you unbuckle it and claw his pants down. You've waited for too long for this, you're not gonna waste any time with pleasantries.

As soon as he is no longer confined to the sleek black boxers beneath his slacks you put your mouth on him. First by flattening your tongue and dragging it along the underside of his cock, then by taking him fully into your mouth. He throws his hips forward at the feeling and hits the back of your throat. You recover quickly and hum around him, bringing one hand up to rest on his stomach.

"My god, you look so fucking hot like this" He mumbles, starting to guide your movements with the hands he's anchored in your hair.

Even after the short amount of time you spent with him you're relishing in everything that is Oliver. You missed it so... the feel of him, the weight of him on your tongue, his moans and breaths and the way his fingers feel dancing over your cheekbones to coax himself further down your throat. He's got you in a trance and you wouldn't have it any other way.

You tenderly rub your thumb over his hipbone, a far more gentle and loving action compared to the way you're lavishing him with your mouth. His hips stutter and you can assume he's already close by how desperate his thrusts have become. At this point he's controlling everything, holding your head in place and guiding himself in and out of your mouth at whatever speed he pleases. You don't mind one bit.

He lets up briefly, pulling away from you and stroking his hand over himself. Spit has managed to smear all over your lips and cheeks and you can feel that your makeup has fallen into a state of disarray. You wipe your mouth with the back of your hand and slide your eyes up his body "I've thought about this every single night since I left. I just can't get you off my mind."

That does something for him, maybe the geuninity in the admission or the soft look on your face, you'll never know but he pulls you up by your arms and kisses you deeply. His hands are back in your hair but this time, the way he's holding you feels so different, almost loving, like you'll break if he isn't gentle.

After a beat he pulls back and searches your face. The entire mood has shifted and the air has grown thick with unspoken words. You'd never guess what he says and when it passes his lips you feel so incredibly full of affection, "You're the only thing I've been able to think about. I spent so many nights just staring at that note. I really and truly am so sorry I kept you waiting."

"We're here now," You whisper and then you pause, thinking. "Do you think you would have called if we didn't run into each other today?"

Your arms are around his neck and you're still close enough that if you leaned forward your lips would touch. "I honestly... I don't know. I want to say yes but to be truthful, love, I was fucking terrified."

"Don't be... there's nothing to be afraid of." And that's that, any other words that could've slipped into the sliver of space between your mouths dies in the air as you pull him back in.

Slowly but surely you slide a hand behind you and lower yourself back onto the couch, bringing him with you. You're vaguely aware of him kicking off his shoes as he climbs on top of you, eventually making himself comfortable as your legs fall into place around his hips.

~

One more part left and then these lovebirds will have a complete story. Give me all your thoughts!!! Do we want part 5 and soon?

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