#so i may not get back to you in any reasonable timeframe

[bitegore]

soliciting your favorite recipe using dandelions! any part of the plant works for me, i'm just eyeing the new crop this spring and thinking about what i can make that isn't salad

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/772302271185928192/okay-this-may-be-a-weird-ventconfession-but-here?source=share To the prev anon: The people who get upset about adult writers exploring the sexuality of teenager characters are people who probably still ARE teenagers and don't realize that you don't stop remembering what being a teenager was like just because you stopped being one. When people write about the experience of being a teenager, the absolute vast majority of them are writing from their OWN MEMORY of being a teenager, and picturing how THEY felt/looked/acted at that age, not fantasizing about actual current teenagers. When I see actual teenagers, I'm like "omg you are all babies, I wasn't that young when I was that age!" But that's the kind of thing you can only realize when you've gotten older, and come to understand that all the ages you ever were still exist inside your conscious memory. I think the main reason it's different with teenagers is that they're really only at the start of building that conscious memory. Trying to remember 10-15 years back would put them back at an age of which they remember virtually nothing, and the changes that happened to them within that 15 years are huge--literally taking them from diapers to drivers' licenses. By contrast, for an older adult, 10-15 years starts to feel almost immaterial. I've been at the same job for almost 15 years, for example, so for me, that's not a hugely significant passage of time, and I remember my experience from that time perfectly clearly. I also remember a lot of what it was like to be a teenager, but I remember it from MY perspective, where that was the oldest and most mature I'd ever been, and if I were to write about that time, it would be from the perspective of my own teenage self who still exists inside me in that memory. (There's a reason high schoolers in books and movies always feel weirdly dated, if not set in an earlier timeframe altogether--they're being written by adults who are remembering their own experiences of that time of their lives.) Anyway, my point here is that the vast majority of people who would have any kind of problem with 'writing teens' are just people who haven't aged out of that perspective yet, so they make the mistake of thinking 'ew these adults are writing about ME' when in fact these adults are writing about their own memories of being that age. It's a self-centered perspective that is almost solely the fault of youth and inexperience, and they'll grow out of it. Don't let it get you down, anon.

--

Once you hit a certain age, you start in with "the other day" meaning 20 years ago.

[dreamdolldiary]

#𝟏𝟎𝟎𝐃𝐀𝐘𝐒𝐑𝐄𝐈𝐍𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

This is how we are NOT going to wait until the new year (or a new whatever) to be the best version of ourselves, we are going to change now.

When you want to change, change. Don't wait for anything.

There are about 100 days until the new year. That is 3 months. You can get so much done within that timeframe.

But with the "new year" aside, please know that there is absolutely no rush to improve. It can be July and you can still decide to "reinvent" yourself. This is just a fun thing to do and keep track of.

Not a "challenge" but a way to stay accountable for your goals for a better you.

୨୧ Here is how we are going to absolutely kill it!

1. Pick a number of goals (3-4, both small and large) for every aspect of your life.

Physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, professional, personal.

Physical: 10k steps a day, working on being sober, moving your body around more, getting into bed earlier, reducing screen time, cooking healthier meals, brushing your hair, wearing the nice clothes you're saving for a "special occasion", trying out new looks and clothes, venturing out new styles, upgrading your basic hygiene routine, celibacy, drink more water

Mental: writing down your thoughts, keeping track of your emotions both negative and positive and what triggers them. Get rid of the negative triggers and bring in more of the positive triggers.

Emotional: getting in touch with a therapist, dedicating a journal to release you emotions instead of bottling them in, talking to friends, anger management

Professional: working 1 hour or more of deep work to improve your skills, networking events

Personal: find your old hobbies, discover new ones, pleaseee get a hobby. seriously! trying out new restaurants and cafes, complimenting people and be open to making new friends.

Spiritual: meditation, prayers to yourself or religion you are a part of, nature/solitude walks. These are super important, it brings you peace of mind and a time to really be with yourself and be at peace after your jam packed days

Finance: learn how to budget, no impulse spending, learn how to invest, find a way to increase your income

Important habits to have: waking up and going to bed early, planning your next day, having a set routine and freedom to change it to fit your priorities

Important skills to build: time management and how to focus better

These are just some ideas and I know looking at this list can be overwhelming so you need to remember and understand that you are not going to be doing every single one of these every single day. You are going to pick a few from each category (and seriously, if you think about it, I discuss this in the next section about time blocking, it really does not take a lot of time. Trust me.) and include them into your daily routine.

2. Setting up reasonable time blocks for these goals. Revamp your schedule to fit your goals around your life.

Getting up early is how you get more done in a day. Yes, you can reach your goals even with a full time job.

I work almost 12 hour shifts every week day while taking care of kids, my dog, basically running a household and I still get so much done.

So you've picked your goals. Great. Now take a look at your schedule and figure out what things are taking up most of your time. Is it a long commute? Spending too much time scrolling on your phone? Waking up late? Going to bed late?

Example of time blocking/a schedule:

☆ Mornings:

4am-5am: exercise, pray/meditate

5am-7am: study

8am-4pm: get ready for the day and go to work.

during your work break, you can read a book, get steps in, meditate, have a nice meal.

☆ Evenings:

4pm-5pm: get back from work, eat, catch up with family or have alone time

5pm-7pm: review any notes, clean, meal prep, attend a class you may have, do laundry

7pm-9pm: plan the next day if you have appointment or deadlines, shower, go to bed

Assess how you spend your time and utilize it. Instead of scrolling on your phone during your free time, spend time with your loved ones (pets, kids, partner), instead of staying in one place while you're on a call, walk around to get steps in, there is always a way to implement your goals into your daily life.

Notice how I say fit your goals around your life. You don't want to be taking away important things like errands, jobs, school, being a parent just meet your goals- no. Use your time wisely. That's all. You can fit them.

On the larger goals like taking up a class/large skill, like dancing and painting. On fridays, you'll have dance class and on other days that you have free, you'll be painting a piece or reading your anticipated book, learning a language, trying out a new recipe, planning the next day, taking a spontaneous art class, etc!

Weekends.

Because I work a lot, I like to use weekends to really do deep work. Intensive study sessions. And because I deep work (work with no distractions) I don't need to study all day. I'm getting so much done in little time that I'll be done by the afternoon and I can go out and do errands, get all dressed up and have a nice day out in the city, or just have a relaxing day by doing chores, watching a nice movie and more!

3. Setting up a system so you can actually stick to those goals.

Keep a journal to keep track of what you did today. If you didn't reach a goal that day (and that's okay), ask yourself why? and how does it make you feel? Then take action on what you can do to reach it tomorrow.

Switching. We all know it’s best to not push yourself so hard. For example, don’t do intense exercise everyday. Walking and dancing throughout the day counts as exercise too, so by switching (depending on YOUR goals), you’ll have time for your other goals as well. Here is an example: on a rest day of no exercising, maybe that day is the night I have a ballet class. That is exercise as well. So instead of exercising in the very early hours of my day, I can use that time instead to do more studying OR have more time doing something else.

which means I can do one do the following: spend more time with my pet, read a few pages of my book, make a new recipe, etc.

Ex. 4am-5am - on a no-exercise day, i can study during that time instead. 6am-7am - more time to tackle my other goals.

Create a foundation. If you have an amazing day, felt very productive and accomplished, what's a habit that really helped? For me, it's always getting up early. If I wake up late because I slept late or my alarm didn't go off, my day is thrown off by a landslide. So if you had an off day, figure out why and maybe your foundation can help.

★ That’s all!

If you have questions or need an example to jump off from, click below to read more on how I personally did my reset and how I am still able to get much more done with a full time job.

Stay safe, prospering, and amazing!

Share your accountability posts with the tag #100DaysWithDDD or we can chat through my inbox if you need extra tips, questions or want to share how you're doing/did.

I will be logging my days too, you can find my goals here.

Welcome, welcome!

Here is an example of what I did when I did my reset and still doing now with working.

I chose my goals. I was studying deeply, spending more time with my dog who I felt bad would be bored during my study hours, be more active, get through my books.

How did I start? First of all I got up earlier and went to bed earlier. I noticed that I focus better in the mornings so I would stretch, workout and started studying. Next, I would get ready (nice clothes, my face is clear, hair is brushed), take my dog out, play with him, etc and head to work. See? I already tackled so many of my goals there! Physical, personal, and professional.

Want to get more books in, want to meditate, want to journal? Listen to an audiobook or podcast while you drive, commute, or have a lunch break at school or work. Or don't. Sit in silence and let your mind wander, let those unconscious ideas come up! That's also a form of meditation and having more creative skills.

During my study breaks, I would stretch, walk my dog. Another break, I catch up with the kids, do any short tasks like laundry, mini tidying up. Any break, at all I would do micro-task.

I stopped doing useless things like spending so much time on my phone for what? If I was truly bored, I had done all my tasks but I didn't feel like getting up or doing anything, I would go on my phone... to clean out apps and my camera roll (which has A LOT of things on it I still need to get through). That's the only time I would go on my phone really. The lack of storage on my phone makes it lag- I'm heavily scolding my past hoarder self for keeping so many photos on there

If you work a desk job, get up for phone calls, take laps when there is nothing to do, just get your body moving! Stretch! There is always something to do, you just have to know how and what.

[nicktremblaywayfu]

From the two reagents of the Sinyala Facility, presenting

The second Outlast Trials Anniversary Art Collab event 2025!

Hosted by @nicktremblaywayfu

Co-hosted and facilitated by: VostokLucini

First of all, what is the Outlast Trials Anniversary Art Collab event? As the name implies, this event will be an art collaboration from Outlast fans to celebrate Outlast Trials' first release anniversary! This was started last year, celebrating Outlast Trials' Early Access Anniversary. And now, back in for celebrating Outlast Trials first full release anniversary

[REGISTRATION IS CLOSED NOW! THANK YOU FOR YOUR ENTHUSIASM.

Event Schedule:

19 January - 2 February: Enrollment

3 February - 2 March: Drawing Phase

17 February: First check-into to make sure every participant is in progress (if there is any postponement, do let us know)

24 February: Second check-in In this phase, if you are not able to draw the canon character you choose, a pinch hitter/substitute will be picked

5 March: Posting time!

The timezone will be used in WIB. However, I will make sure the zine will be posted on 5 March, Canada Time.

Art Guide:

The size of the canvas should be 2480 x 3508 pixels portrait (A4 size)

Make sure it is colored with minimum bust-up (Half-body and full-body are encouraged). The characters will have a party theme and accessories, such as cake, party hat, confetti, party horn, etc. Sketch or WIP as submission will NOT be accepted.

The theme will be how the character celebrates the anniversary. You can make it as a full illustration or a character with a party accessory on a simple background.

Traditional Artists are welcome! You can directly draw it on A4 paper or in any size of paper, and then we will crop and adjust it. As for the background, feel free to contact us for help in editing.

Once it’s finished, post it in our discord in the #final-posting-anniv channel

You are not allowed to post your finished art in other social media until the final result is posted. A cropped sneak peek, however, is allowed.

One art page should only contain one character. You can, however, put your Reagent OCS celebration on one page.

Event guide:

You will draw the characters you have picked. Prime Assets, Ex-pops, Reagents, Denizens) and make sure it’s SFW.

The canon characters will be "first come, first serve" however, you can draw additional characters. Please make sure any additional character does not take the spotlight!

To ensure it may be enjoyed by everyone, please refrain from adding shipping elements in the artwork (especially if you add additional characters).

You can also draw just your reagents. There's no limit on reagents if you would like to submit multiple! Give yourself a reasonable workload within the timeframe.

OCs are only allowed for reagents.

After all the art is submitted, it will be collected as a digital, free zine. Every participant will get the file and the digital zine will be available for the public to see

You can print the zine on your own. However, selling it as fan merchandise is STRICTLY PROHIBITTED. Any commercial distribution is forbidden.

The result will be posted on social media with each artist’s credit and shown to Red Barrels. We will also send the digital zine through their email so make sure you give the best of your artwork.

General Rule:

No AI Gen or any stolen media allowed. The participant will be banned and blacklisted. Tracing stolen artwork is also forbidden.

No racism, homophobia, transphobia, sexism, or any form of hate speech is allowed. Bullying/harassment in any form will not be tolerated.

Please ensure you can meet the deadline of the event. This is very important to prevent a participant from only being able to submit a Sketch WIP on the final day and possibly hindering the event.

If there are any further questions, contact me on Tumblr or VostokLucini on discord

See you at the event!

-Cheers, Alvin and Voss 💖

[plumbobpaparazzi]

Peek into my Mods folder...

This is dedicated to @alltimefail-sims or anyone who needs a little help with lag!

I have several mods I refer to as "efficiency mods" that are little quality-of-life tweaks that make the game smoother for me, either by reducing lag or reducing immersion-breaking hiccups. As always, your mileage may vary, but hopefully this is helpful to someone. :) List of mods under cut to keep your dash clean.

No Intro - Whether you are trying to 50/50 your mods, testing new CC, or just need to shave time off your game loading... get rid of the cinematic intro.

Free Will Delay - Do your sims curbstomp their queue and proceed to fuck off to something unrelated? Yeah, me too, until I got this mod. From the mod description: "[E]very time you tell your sim to do something, they will be forced to listen! …For 5 minutes. Then they get free will back again. This is probably why controlling Sims in Sims 4 feels so bad! Because you lose control the second they start doing what they're told. Even if you queue up actions, the total time is STILL five minutes- because it goes from the last direction you give your sim. So you can tell them to do 3 hours worth of stuff while paused…and they'll get control back after 5 minutes. This mod changes this timeframe to an option of your choosing, to make controlling your sims feel more rigid."

Simulation Unclogger - This is an oldie-but-goodie mod from Turbodriver that helps interrupt when Sims get stuck in an endless action loop.

Evolve/Fertilize All Plants - Kind of weird how we can Harvest All but you can't Evolve or Fertilize All, right?

No Empty Venues When Arriving - Helps with the issue of going to a community lot and waiting around for Sims to show up. May cause increased lag if you are bottlenecked by RAM.

Food Autonomy Overhaul - Stops your stupid Sims from eating ingredients, AND allows Sims who hate cooking to autonomously grab quick meals. Didn't know they wouldn't do that? Yeah. That's a thing.

Don't Do That! Version 1 and Version 2 - Removes autonomy on annoying actions that can't be affected by MCCC tuner, like reactions and some trait idle animations.

Less Obsession - Lowers autonomy for certain things without disabling entirely. I still want my Sims to paint, but I don't want them to start a new figure painting any time they are left unsupervised.

Smarter Self-Care - Makes Sims prioritize their needs better before they are uncomfortable. I only use the packages for NPCs and Pets.

NPC Relationship Autonomy Fix - Stops random Sims from breaking into your house to ask to be your BFF (and tunes the requirements so they actually have to be your friend first.)

Buy More Upgrade Parts - Allows you to buy a package of 50 upgrade parts for when you are grinding out handiness or robotics.

The following mods are all by Bienchen and don't have a direct page for each package. You can search by name pretty easily on their website. I recommend flipping through and grabbing anything you find useful - I have a total of 368 of their mods installed. Here are some highlights:

novisibleecoeffects - The aurora will nuke your framerate. I know it's pretty, but oh my god.

noautonomousbakewhitecake - Does what it says on the tin, keeps your house from being overrun by cakes.

harvestnogroupinteraction - Stops club members from autonomously harvesting plants. Those are MY death flowers!

lessemotionidles - Reduces unnecessary idle animations from emotions, great for preventing your Sims from looking flirty at inappropriate times...

lesspreferenceidles - Stops your sims from thinking about how much they like fishing/fitness/etc. when they should be doing things.

happytoddleridledisabled - Stops the idling from the Happy Toddler trait. SUPER useful for family gameplay.

laundry_buffsandsoloidlesfix - Stops or reduces idles related to laundry. It's just clothes, bro

eldertweak - Reduces elder animation idles.

hastopeewalkstyleforchildonly - Helps get your Sims to the toilet in a reasonable amount of time.

tinyhousebuffhider - I know I'm in a Tiny Home, I don't need a moodlet.

lottraiteffectshider - Hides the little floating lightbulbs around Sims heads from lot traits.

notraitnotifications - I know my geek likes video games, I don't need the pop-up every time I play.

noholidayoutcomenotification - Please don't rub my nose in the fact I forgot to celebrate.

nofestivalnotifications and nofestivalnotificationsound - Helpful when a pack is new, but years later... no thanks.

noenrollmentandscholarshipinfo - No more info screen about the two universities. I think most of us know it all by now.

nouprootplant - Never cry because of a misclick again

simschangeoutfitwhenhotorcold - Should have already been autonomous, but alas.

novisualpoliteintroeffects - I don't know if I am the only one, but the glowing really bothers me.

restaurantsittweak - Sit down and eat your dang food! No more wandering Sims.

longerprom - Takes 6 hours instead of 4 so you can actually do something.

I probably have other QoL mods that could be helpful, but these are my recommendations to start with. Love to all the modders that keep this game playable <3

[breakyourrxles]

❥between two breaths (m) | 𝟙𝟚

𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐲

↳ When two conversations come to pass, you find yourself in the precarious situation of navigating both:

One, an inkling of something you'd expected.

And two, the uncomfortable truths of the situation you have wrapped yourself in.

kim sunwoo x fem!reader (side lee juyeon x reader) — idol!sunwoo, fan/trainee!reader. forced proximity, forbidden love, friends to lovers, angst, slow burn, idolverse-typical themes regarding; dating, image, public perception, etc. happy ending, plot-heavy!! reader thinks she's nonchalant about it but she rly isn't. smut. [6,4k wc ongoing] cws: heavy themes of wanting-but-can't-having, mild jealousy, explicit sexual content, a little alcohol consumption, dancing on the edge of career suicide, poor decision making because of The Wanting.

❥ masterlist | ao3

He laughs under his breath, shaking his head in disbelief at his own words and then says, "And even still, even knowing this, I still do it. I still choose you every time."

September rolls around and marks the fact that your debut anniversary is just around the corner, but with so much on your mind you find little time to enjoy the success of that.

Days after your meeting with your manager, word begins to spread amongst the members about the impending comeback. Woori breaks the finality of it to the team in a group text message, but appears to know just as little about the details of it as you do. The meeting is set for tomorrow, and though you want to be excited about that fact, it is just another thing that remains hampered by the invisible elephant in the room.

You've still not managed to reach Sunwoo, but you do know that he is home now.

It's unlike him to not bother with hounding you, tracking you down and sending a wave of messages about any such thing. The kind of guy who repeats texts back-to-back despite not receiving a response, the kind of guy who always has something to say and may resort to ridiculous threats should you not reply in a reasonable timeframe as decided by him.

But now, there is silence, and you can't help but wonder if the meeting with his manager has anything to do with it.

Stuffed into a tiny corner table inside of the cafe, you idly scroll through your phone and pick at a sandwich that's sat in front of you.

You don't look at the articles. They exist and you know that and you find little need to continue to check on them. Whether more come in or they all disappear, it's of no consequence to you. All that can happen now is that the conversations that need to take place, do. One of them being a very uncomfortable conversation with the man that you can't seem to get sat down for it.

The bread is a little stale, and as it crumbles down to the plate your eyes follow the journey. That is, until your attention is driven to the body that's standing in front of you.

"Hi."

Without asking, Sunwoo slots himself into a chair that's shoved between a wall and a trash can, hardly enough room to even pull it out. He makes something of a ruckus about the whole thing, though it's of no fault of his own, but it does draw a bit more attention to the two of you than you'd really like to have. All things considered.

With a low, quiet voice you say, "Is this a good idea right now?"

"Well, I'm a bit wrapped up lately, if you haven't noticed! I don't have a lot of time to talk."

The inflection on the last word implies far more than conversing might normally entail.

Thankfully, the table immediately beside you is empty, though the one after that is full with company staff members who do not directly work with either of your groups. It's as good as it's going to get, you figure, though the most important topic at hand is going to have to wait until a far more opportune and private time.

Your eyes break away from him, and looking back down at your lackluster sandwich you say, "Now who isn't answering their messages?"

"I know, I'm sorry." Sunwoo immediately relents to it and accepts his wrongdoing in a way that comes as a little bit of a surprise to you. He exhales a heavy sigh, slumps into the chair and says, "It's been rough. I've been non stop hopping flights, attending events, shaking hands… I barely even know what time it is on any given day with the amount of jetlag I've been dealing with."

"Yeah, I know. Just sort of a bad time to start ghosting, you know?"

Sunwoo's eyebrows furrow just a bit, he seems genuinely shocked by the message hidden behind the actual words. "You think I'm…?"

A small smile creeps in, and glancing up at him briefly you say, "No, but sometimes. Maybe."

He shoots forward, arms against the table and leaned far too closely towards you for what's comfortable given your location. Sunwoo's eyes are judgingly narrow and soft curls curtain over them like usual, and despite his pleasant appearance, he is obviously far from pleased by what you've just said.

"Me?" he whispers, "You think me of all people is going to ghost? Guy who constantly injects soulmate romance anime directly into my bloodstream like it's the only thing that sustains me. You think I'm not about this life for real? I'll stand on this table and tell everyone what we've been up to right now!"

Groaning, you say, "Please don't do that, and besides, based on what the gossip sites have been saying I don't think you really need to. I'm sure you've heard."

Sunwoo sits back into his previous lazy position but this time crosses his arms over his chest, petulant and disgruntled. "Yeah, loved having that sit down with my manager at two in the morning in fucking France."

"What'd he say?"

"He shook me down for about an hour about whether or not I have a girlfriend." Sunwoo rolls his eyes. "And when I wouldn't say that I do—because I don't, though of no fault of my own—he kind of gave up and just told me to get my shit together or things were gonna get ugly. Whatever that means. What'd your manager say?"

"Somewhat the same," you admit. "Though he erred more on the side of not being all that interested in whether or not I'm involved." Looking up at Sunwoo, you give him a small smile and say, "He did tell me to pass along the fact that you need to get it together, though."

"Crazy that they immediately put the target on your back," Sunwoo says, exasperated by it all. "Why does no one believe I know other women? This is nuts! I know other women!"

Shrugging, you say, "On the bright side, no one online seems all that convinced of it. No names, no guesses. So really, this has nothing to do with me!"

Sunwoo's eyes shift past you and towards the table of people seated just nearby, and obviously forgoing the thing that he actually wishes to say, he instead relents to the surroundings and only says, "Yeah, I guess it doesn't." His attention then falls to the picked apart sandwich at your hand, and with clear intent to change the subject he asks, "Are you going to eat that?"

"No," you say, sliding the plate over to him. "I wouldn't really suggest you do, either."

"I don't even care at this point. I've been so busy I've hardly had time for a proper meal in weeks. Speaking of…" Sunwoo says, trailing off but leaving time to take a hard-fought bite out of the stale bread. "I did a really interesting photoshoot in Japan with this up and coming photographer, I don't know when the pictures are gonna come out, but they look amazing. Don't be jealous when all my fans start swooning over me again, okay?"

"I've long since been out of the swooning life. They can swoon as much as they like, that's the point, isn't it?"

He grins just slightly, a sort of devilish sparkle sitting in his eye as he does so and then says, "No, not entirely, anyway."

Growing tired of his antics, you opt to change the subject. "Tell me more about this photographer, you seem fond of him."

"Her," Sunwoo corrects, "and yeah, she was amazing. We talked a lot in between rolls and I guess she doesn't do a lot of idol work but really wanted to shoot me. Can you believe it? This face always coming in clutch when I need it to."

He waves a hand around his face and pouts his lips to drive home the point, but you give him little more than a tired roll of your eyes in response.

"Don't you have somewhere to be? Somewhere that isn't here, bothering me before I have to get to work?"

"Yes, but you were throwing a tantrum in my messages so I figured I should probably stop by. Oh, how the tables have turned!"

You throw your napkin at him, and he scrambles to his feet just as quickly. "I'll find you later," he says, and you don't like the hint of nefariousness that hangs alongside the threat.

The day is upon you, and the members of MVNE all sit scattered around the elongated table with messy hair and lazy sweatshirts as a staff member from the company goes over the up and coming plans for a fairly hurried comeback schedule.

Normally, music video filming might already be completed. Instead, the following days will involve long hours spent in a salon chair, numerous fittings for attire, and a gauntlet of choreography and line learning; not to mention the studio time necessary for actually recording the song.

You like the demo, and it doesn't sound particularly difficult as far as delivery might be concerned. Recording should be smooth and probably the least time-intensive of all of the tasks required. The woman standing at the front pointing at individual aspects of her Powerpoint presentation insists that it won't be demanding, but really, you can't imagine her to be much of a judge of that.

At one point in the meeting, Woori's eyes find yours, and a quick roll of them commiserates your feelings.

In times like this, you can't help but wonder why the preparation for this is only starting now. MVNE have been busy, but not so much so that there would have been no way to get the wheels in motion long before now. The Boyz comeback has only just ended, and the understanding of not wanting overlap is not lost on you, but that doesn't mean that there had been no reason not to begin recording, filming or choreography learning in the meantime.

It is mildly annoying, a feeling that sits heavy in your chest amongst all of the other ones. A plethora of displeasure. So many options that you can choose from inside of you to ruminate on at any given moment; comeback plans, poor company management, articles online, and amidst all of that—Sunwoo, in general.

To say you feel insecure about where you stand with him would not be an understatement, and while your short conversation with him in the cafe has done its best at staving off those unfortunate thoughts, it cannot possibly be enough. You remain unsure of what the two of you are, and more than that, unsure if you truly wish to delve into an actual discussion about it, either.

Partaking in the perks of a relationship without actually calling it as much won't save you from the hammer of judgment in the public eye should all of this go awry, but for reasons unbeknownst to you, you cling to the idea of it as if it might.

As the meeting comes to a close, agitation has drifted up and taken hold. You do as you're meant to; smile, thank everyone, play the part of an idol who is forever thankful and indebted to the people who have sacrificed so much so that you and the other girls could be here today. It's all a farce; avaricious shareholders sitting at the top to throw money and ideas down the ladder for the smaller, lesser people to bend backwards into forming to fruition. A fact you have always known, and on the worse days such as this, one that makes the smile formed on your lips just a bit more forced than before.

It sounds dramatic when you recount it to yourself; really, you're just having a bad day.

Nara notices your scowl once you all shuffle out of the room and back down the hall. Separate schedules await all of the members, but for you is the promise of a couple of free hours until the late afternoon. Choreography is set to begin as soon as possible, and you're already dreading whatever it is that is awaiting you in that place.

"Do you want to get something to eat downstairs?" she asks, but you're quick to shake your head with plans already made in the back of your mind.

"I'm gonna take a walk, I think. Get some fresh air before this disaster of the next couple of months starts."

She accepts it without pushback—expected from her—and heads off to the next thing that sits upon her plate. You try not to let your thoughts take you to a darker place as you make your way down to the lobby and onto the street, because ideally, you would like to actually enjoy the reprieve that your little, secret coffee shop typically has to offer you.

You take one last inhale of fresh air from the outdoors before stepping inside. The little bell up top jingles, but what awaits you there is something you are not expecting.

People…?

The girl behind the counter looks up and then gasps, wholly unexpecting you at this hour. It's only then that you realize that you don't come here during usual operating hours, that of course it is likely for other patrons to be inside, and that your being here at all could pose an incredibly difficult situation for the people meant to be running it smoothly.

She whips around and dashes over to you, takes you by the arm, and begins ushering you towards the back. Apologies drop from you without more thought accompanying them, but she doesn't seem upset by your being here. 

Eyes from the people seated inside seem less interested in who you are, and more intrigued by the sudden bustle of her shoving you away from them. It all happens so fast; past the counter, beyond the small door that leads to the bathroom, quickly brought past piled boxes and broken chairs that sit piled against a wall and only barely kept out of sight with a hung, purple sheet.

Before you can gather your bearings you are brought around another corner into another small room with a tiny window near the ceiling and a single, tiny table. Seated there is none other than Juyeon.

He looks up at you with a smile already pulling at his cheeks, seemingly amused by a scene that he hasn't even had the luxury of watching play out. "You came in through the normal entrance."

"I didn't know there was another option."

"It's business hours, you're an idol, you can't just waltz into any ol' place anymore. Sit."

The girl hurriedly locates another chair and sets it up at the opposite end of the table, though it is so small that it hardly feels any different from the exact place that he is seated. You exhale heavily, the messiness of the day wears on you in ways that you know are evident to anyone that sees you, and Juyeon is nothing if not perceptive.

"Long day?" he asks.

Your face falls into your hands. "We have a comeback in two months."

"Ah. Yeah, we know that one." Juyeon slowly shoves his cup of coffee towards you and bumps your arm with it so as to alert you to its presence and then he says, "I take it you just got out of your meeting then."

"Everything happens so much."

"And it's going to continue to, so you're just going to have to get used to that." His hand finds your wrist and gently tugs one of your hands away from your face, forcing eye contact between you. "I heard about the other stuff."

You groan through a "yeah."

"I'd love to be able to tell you it's going to get better, and in a lot of ways, it will. It's going to take time, though. The early years are the worst. If you can get through this, you can get through anything."

The girl returns with a cup of coffee and a sandwich of your own. You thank her, and as she leaves, the door to the room is surprisingly slid shut.

This sound makes you alert, and you twist back to confirm the fact. Once you come to fully understand that you are now sharing a private space with this man, you slowly turn back to look at his softly grinning face.

"It's not often that we get to enjoy time like this," he says. "Idols in general, I mean. Just a sectioned off, secluded space to simply be ourselves, and with the company of others who share the burden."

"I try to avoid being alone with any men at this stage in my life, for obvious reasons."

Sitting back, Juyeon shrugs and brings his mug to his lips. The sip he intends to take is paused, and before he does he says, "That's probably for the best, as you've seen, but…" He drinks his coffee, narrow, dark eyes never leaving you for so much as a second and continues with, "Not everyone is as reckless, you know."

With your heart beginning to race, you make an attempt to talk down what you feel might be beginning to form in front of you. Your time spent with Juyeon over the months is something that you have very much come to enjoy; a friendship, a comradery that you don't have with any of the other members of his team, and that feels good to have with someone inside of the idol space, but not amongst your own members, either. Someone who understands, someone who has shared parts of themselves with you, and that has allowed you to do much of the same unto him. You've been so caught up in a whirlwind of something that lately, you don't think you even really understand. Now, you sit and wonder, have you missed this all along? 

Has the way Juyeon looks at you right now, always been the way that he has looked at you?

With a trembling hand, you take a sip from your drink and go to set the mug back down against the saucer, but with your attention still fully grasped by Juyeon, your aim is off; the bottom of it finds the small spoon setting against the porcelain, and it falls to the cement floor deafeningly loud to your sensitive and highly-alert senses.

"Fuck!" It's the first thing that comes to mind, and you wholeheartedly mean it as you scramble to the ground. You can hear Juyeon chuckling under his breath at the exclamation, and as you finally locate the wayward silverware your head juts up to find his face only mere inches from your own.

You hadn't noticed him drop down in an effort to aid your search, and now that the two of you are here together beneath this cramped table space, it feels as though the entire world stops.

His eyes drop down to your lips, your breath catches in your chest and you hold it there remaining perfectly still. Memory recalls your first photoshoot together and that moment in which he had done much of the same; his hand on your leg, the smell of his cologne, the very first time you had allowed yourself to really, truly see him.

"Talking like that is going to get you some online articles of your own," he says, voice low and tone heavy in a way that is felt right down to your bones. Slowly, the distance between your faces begins to close. You remain statuesque as it does, resigning yourself to this, allowing it. Maybe even…

"Sunwoo and I…"

It all but falls out of you. Some inkling of a truth that you've not admitted to anyone, that has never left the confines of closed spaces and secret affairs shared only between the two of you. You recognize it for precisely what it is: something that needs to be done, an honesty that needs to be expressed with urgency, and while the guilt of having done so is of no surprise to you, what does come as a surprise is the tinge of regret that prickles at your skin.

Juyeon stops, pulls away slightly and with wide eyes of genuine stun he says, "Oh, I didn't know you were dating."

With the stupid spoon in hand, you finally climb back into your chair and once seated back into some sort of relative order, Juyeon awkwardly glances around a bit and adds: "For once he didn't say anything about it."

You slowly close your eyes and contemplate what would have to happen for this day to get any worse.

"I wouldn't say that we're dating."

He cocks his head quizzically. "Sleeping together…?"

"I wouldn't say that, either."

"Sounds complicated in exactly the sort of ways I might expect from Sunwoo," Juyeon says, and you're charmed by his ability to quickly brush off the messy happenings of only moments prior. "Then the gossip sites are right. They didn't allude to you, so I presume there's no concern of the two of you being spotted out together?"

It all sounds so juvenile when you are forced to put it into a verbalized perspective. You take another clumsy sip of your coffee and say, "No, we don't really… go out."

Juyeon laughs at that. Full and hearty, and it does little to quell the humiliation already rushing through your veins.

"You don't go out, but you're not sleeping together, either." He leans back and crosses his arms, less judging, and far more amused. You're not sure which you might prefer. "I hate to say it, but this is just so incredibly him. Sunwoo really never is going to beat the loser loverboy allegations."

Flustered, you feel driven to right some sort of incomprehensible wrong that you're not even sure is being spoken of. "I mean, it's not like we're not…"

"Oh, I'm sure, but he's just not the kind of guy that's going to rush to it," Juyeon says. "He has all these romanticized ideas about life, love… sex. I'm sure you've noticed."

The crushing realization that you're talking about not fucking Sunwoo with Juyeon suddenly becomes dizzyingly apparent,  and your palms find your face once more.

"You don't have to be embarrassed about it," he adds, "I had my suspicions."

"I'm not embarrassed!" you say, though that's an obvious lie and you make quick work of trying to amend it. "It's not that. Neither of us have told anyone about this, and now all these articles are coming out and we have to have meetings with our managers about them and deal with the thinly veiled threats that come along with them. He's never around, he's too busy; now with my own comeback around the corner I'm going to be too busy, and it just sort of feels like—"

"What's the point?" he interjects.

"Yeah," you say through a sigh. Admittedly, it feels freeing to be able to talk about it with someone that you know is safe to do so with, and so, you continue. "Sunwoo has all these ideas—like you said—and sometimes it feels a little bit like none of it is really grounded in reality. I'd like to be all-in with him, I'd love to be able to meet him there, but sometimes it feels like I'm the only one out of the two of us that's willing to take the rose-colored glasses off and look at this with any level of realism."

Juyeon listens to your words and for a moment, sits with you in silence as the aftermath of your truth washes over the both of you. He offers a small, understanding nod that, for once, gives you the kind of comfort that you've long since been seeking when it comes to all of this: that someone gets where it is that you're coming from. That your apprehensions are not unfounded, and that the worry you carry is very much grounded and real.

Then he leans forward, hands folded against the table and says, "Do you want me to be honest with you?"

The question feels daunting in ways you couldn't have anticipated, and though you strongly feel the urgency of something that you do not want to hear sitting on the other side, you muster up the courage and tell him "yes."

"The worst thing that can happen is that the company catches wind of this before anyone else does," he says, voice soft and quiet despite your privacy. "I know that sounds backwards, how could it be worse than the public finding out? But I promise you, once they get a hold of it then they'll be able to spin any kind of narrative they want, and there's no telling what that could be. Media play against you, media play against him, they might even want to force you into admitting the truth despite it not even really being the case. Whatever they think works best and easiest for them is what they're going to do, and absolutely no consideration for either of you will be taken into account."

The thought of it sends chills down your spine.

"Honestly? You'd be better off just hard-launching on social media," he adds.

"Are you insane!?"

Juyeon laughs at the outburst. "I'm not saying you should do that, I'm saying it'd probably be better than whatever they could cook up. None of us want to think about it for obvious reasons, but those people don't care about us. That's just how it is. The point I'm trying to make is: this isn't sustainable as it's currently going. Sunwoo is about as hard to see through as a window pane, he's already slipping up enough for his fans to notice. Won't be long until one of you gets caught out in public with the wrong hoodie on because they got swapped on the bedroom floor."

Another groan escapes you. Indeed, you did not want to hear this level of truth-telling.

"I like to think I'm a little bit smarter than that one, at least."

Eyes on you firmly, Juyeon raises a pointed eyebrow and says, "I am not concerned about you."

"Alright, then I have to ask," you say, melting down into your uncomfortable wooden chair, "If you were in this situation, what would you do?"

"I want to be clear that I never would be in this situation, for starters." 

You do not appreciate his comical prowess at this given moment.

"But…" he says, carrying on, "If I was, and this wasn't just some fleeting, fun moment in both of our lives that neither of us genuinely see a future in, then we'd just have to sit down and have a very serious talk about it. Lay everything out on the table; your feelings, what both of you want out of this, how to move forward in a way that doesn't jeopardize both of your careers. It's not going to be fun, and both of you are going to have to give up a lot and choose not to do certain things that you probably really want to do. Secret meetings at restaurants or trips to places together; that's all a thing of the past now, it was the moment you signed that contract and then stepped out onto that debut stage."

The weight of a reality that you've already known feels suffocating now, more than ever. You have no words to give to him right then, only a thin, tight smile that you hope gets across your thankfulness.

"I know you know all of this," Juyeon adds, "Now you're going to have to remind him before the company does."

It's daunting, and your swift trip to the bathroom afterwards is less because of the coffee consumed, and far more to expel the contents of your stomach; truth and all.

There are no sick days in the life of an idol, and today more than ever you are made painfully aware of that fact.

Your stomach still twists with the reminder of a conversation prior, but there is choreography to learn and a comeback looming in the near horizon that tells you that you are not afforded the common luxury of sitting at home and feeling sorry for yourself. No one cares that you're not feeling up to it, and your job is to shut up and make everyone believe that you are.

The elevator doors open, and the cleaning staff must have just had their way with it because it reeks of products and sanitation. This scent is nothing new to you, though it is one that you have long since become accustomed to in a way that you almost don't even notice these days. It serves as another reminder of why you are here and what is expected of you; to be perfect, to rise to everyone's expectations at all times, and if you can't, then you better pretend that you can.

Or else.

You press the button for the twelfth floor, light-headed and uncomfortable. Now is your last chance to shake all of this off and walk into that room with your best face on and the capacity to learn.

After three floors, the elevator stops, the doors slide open, and your stomach fucking drops.

"Sunwoo."

He is delighted to see you, and you wish that you could match his enthusiasm. Perhaps in any other circumstance, during any other day you would, but with the events regarding your comeback, regarding Juyeon, regarding him only just having happened, the best you can give him is an awkward smile as he enters along with you.

And he wastes no time closing the distance between your bodies.

Your hands fly up and force space, lightly pushing him away from you as you insist that he doesn't do this.

"I've missed you," he says, and you are so weak to him by now that your efforts to keep him at bay quickly fall flat. Sunwoo's hands slip under the hem of your shirt and fingertips press into the skin of your waist as he draws you closer towards him. "I want to see you, I have to leave again soon, but before I do…"

Just as your back finds the wall of the elevator, his lips press against yours. Your breath leaves you, all of the fight you had just had dissipates in that very moment. How do you find the strength to turn away something that ultimately, you desperately desire?

Palms pressed against his chest and once used to push him away now curl into the cloth beneath them to hold him in place. Sunwoo's mouth slips down from yours to travel the line of your jaw and subsequently along the column of your throat. You've been here so many times before that it comes as second nature for your head to fall back and allow him to have his taste. Warm breath wafts over damp patches of skin where his tongue has just been, your eyes flutter open as the elevator continues to slowly travel towards its destination; and then, you spot it. The camera hanging in the corner, placed to watch for any misdoings.

Your blood runs cold, all of those feelings of horror, and fright, and anger rush through your body once more and you shove him away with all of your might. Sunwoo stumbles back, shocked and confused by the sudden turn of events, and you nod up towards the recording device that clearly, he has not been made aware of through the numerous years prior.

"Oh, they don't check that thing unless something happens," he reasons, "Ya know, like if someone got, I don't know, killed or whatever, then they check the footage. I promise they're not scouring hours of footage to see if their talent is making out in the elevator."

His nonchalant attitude about the entire thing only serves to anger you more, and with a plethora of things you want to say, you have to steady yourself and think through the options as to not land a far more hurtful blow than what is deserved. The truth of the matter, however, is that you are hurting. You have been hurting under the tremendous weight of a situation that only you seem to be bothered to care about even half as much as it is deserving of, and now that the final straw has broken the camel's back, you can't help but unleash it and force him to share that pain.

With trembling breath, you shake your head and say, "You can't keep doing this. You're going to destroy everything, you're going to ruin both of our lives." Your voice shakes as you speak your truth, the unbearable agony of all of this finally spilling out of you, tears beginning to well up in your eyes. "You're so fucking reckless. Do you even care if anything happens? Maybe you can handle the blowback of something like this coming out, but I can't. Do you even think about that, or is all you think about just whatever you want in one, single moment?"

Sunwoo stares back at you with a dumbfounded sort of expression, but you're not finished.

"You're gone all the time, you don't even answer me when I try to get a hold of you, when I try to have a very serious discussion about what is already beginning to happen to us. You're so fucking immature! You can't just disappear and then show back up like nothing has even happened, continue to act like this like nobody is ever watching. Sunwoo, they are watching! And guess what? They fucking know." 

"I said I was sorry," he mumbles out, barely audible.

The lashing of your words is visible on his form. Sunwoo stands in front of you with a fallen face that no longer shows any signs of the jovial, bright-eyed idol that you've always known and adored. What stands before you now is a man that is faced with the mounting consequences of his actions—actions he has not fully considered as they have taken place—and the aching understanding that he has, in fact, been wrong.

"But…" he says, and that singular word sends piques the anxiety already coursing through you.

"You think you're the only one that stands to lose everything from this?" Sunwoo's arms dangle lifeless at his sides as he watches you, his expression a somewhat indiscernible mix of thoughts and feelings that he never quite has been able to fully conceal. One of many you are able to pick out, however, is woundedness.

"You think this won't ruin my career if it were to get out? You don't think that's something I think about and grapple with every single day? I make a choice every time we see each other, and I'm forced to decide if this—what we're doing—is worth it to me. You think I'm not thinking about it, I have to think about it. It's all I think about every second of every day."

He brings a hand up and drags it through the air as if to highlight a line of invisible text standing between you. "'Senior idol grooming fans, predatory behavior, power imbalance fully acted upon,' that's what the headlines will read. You think that's something I can recover from? Something I just brush off and don't have the mind to consider? Have you considered it recently? Because you used to, at least."

"Then why are you so reckless about it?" you ask, pleading for his understanding. "The fans have noticed, people have noticed. Now that the idea is out there they're going to continue watching and looking for the signs, and it's only a matter of time until one of us slips up, we can't keep—"

"I want to see you!" Sunwoo snaps. "You're terrified! You want this but you're unwilling to take the leap, unwilling to take any steps that make this safe because you're afraid if you do, then that's going to make it too real. It's like… you think that if you're a bystander in all of this—if I'm the one that takes all the leads in it—then you'll have enough plausible deniability to escape the wrath of public perception when it inevitably does break. Does that not sound like you're perfectly happy to let me take the fall for this?" He laughs under his breath, shaking his head in disbelief at his own words and then says, "And even still, even knowing this, I still do it. I still choose you every time."

Sunwoo's honestly hits you hard, and though you part your lips in hopes of issuing a reply, all that rips from you is a terrible, gut-wrenching sob.

"Honestly, what else do you want me to do? We can put the ball in your court and we both know where that will lead. If that's what you want, then you should just say it." His voice shakes at the tail end of the sentence, and you can't bear to look at him for fear of what you might find. "We don't have to do this, we can call it quits right now and I'll deal with that. But…" Finally, you force yourself to look up at him. This isn't what you wanted, this is so far from what you wanted. Sunwoo shakes his head gently, as if he is as much in disbelief of this outcome as you are and finally he finishes it by saying, "How long do you expect me to pretend that I don't lo—" Ding!

The elevator stops, the doors fly open, and there stands Serri, Kaia and Miyoung.

Sunwoo turns to look at them, and you meet their awed stares at the scene that they have just stumbled upon. Not a single word is spoken for what feels like a lifetime to you, the seconds ticking by like hours as silence fills the space. All you can hear is the pounding of your heart in your own ears, that is, until Sunwoo exhales a heavy sigh and fully turns to face the three of them.

"Listen to me very carefully," he starts, with a firmness to his voice that you've never quite heard before. "As your senior, this moment right here? This never happened. Are we clear?"

All three of them nod slowly.

"Great." It's far from great, and the sarcasm dripping from Sunwoo's utterance of it makes that incredibly clear. He turns back to look at you as you quickly try to wipe your face and make yourself presentable even though the damage has already been done. He sighs again and simply says, "I'll leave first."

And leave first, he does.

[mywitchyblog]

Tarot Readings :

Greetings Dear Shifters,

I hope this post finds you well. I’m currently in need of funds to start a business, and as a broke college student, my money is—much like my heterosexuality, nonexistent!

To support myself during this time, I’ve decided to offer readings. Your support would mean the world to me, and I’m excited to connect with you through these sessions.

Rules and Conditions for Readings:

Provide Context: Please share the context behind your request. Why are you seeking this reading? Tell me about your shifting journey and any relevant details you can think of. The more information you provide, the more accurate your reading will be, as it helps me connect with you on a deeper level.

Spread the Word: If you’re satisfied with your reading, I kindly ask that you reblog or share this post along with a review. Your support in spreading the word is greatly appreciated!

How to Book a Reading:

Visit my Ko-Fi Page: Head over to my Ko-Fi page to make a donation corresponding to the reading you want.

Include Details in the Donation: In the description of your donation, please include the name of the spread you’re requesting.

Follow-Up: If you haven’t received your reading within a reasonable timeframe, (48 hours) don’t hesitate to send me a message with proof of your donation. I’ll make sure to get back to you as quickly as possible.

Please note that failing to follow these guidelines may result in an inaccurate reading or delays in service.

Available Spreads and Services:

Below, you’ll find the various spreads and services I offer. All prices are in Euros, as I’m based in Europe. Although we may be in different time zones, rest assured that I’ll complete your reading as quickly as possible.

Thank you for your support, and I look forward to providing you with a meaningful reading!

MasterList :

The Shifter's Compass: This 5-card spread is designed to offer insight and support on your reality shifting journey. 15

The Crossroads Compass: This 4-card spread is designed to connect with your spirit team (higher self, spirit guides, deities, etc.) and gain guidance on which reality to prioritize for shifting right now. Its the perfect spread for when you don't know which reality to shift to right now. 10

The Shifter's mirror : This 6-card spread helps you explore and understand the self you become in your Desired Reality (DR). It's perfect for those who want to dive deeper into their DR identity.18

The Reality Bridge : This 5-card spread is designed to help you build a stronger connection between your Current Reality (CR) and Desired Reality (DR), focusing on harmonizing these aspects of your existence.15

The Path To Shifting : This 7-card spread is ideal for those preparing to shift, providing detailed guidance on the steps and stages of the shifting process.20

The Shifter's sanctuary : This 4-card spread helps you create or identify safe spaces within your DR, providing comfort and security during your shifting experience.10

The Shifter's map : This 8-card spread is for advanced shifters who navigate multiple realities or wish to explore different aspects of the multiverse through shifting. 25

Custom Tarot Reading : If one of the spread i gave you isnt what you want ,i can give you a custom reading. It can be as long as you would like .The price is 3 per card if you want a 3 cards spread it will be 9 bucks a 8 card spread 24 and so on... You have to tell me what each card represents.

Here are the reviews for the readings i gave as proof :

[moonstandardtime]

OFFICIAL ART COMMISSIONS POST!!!

BASE COSTS

SKETCHES / SMALL DOODLES -- $10

BUSTS / PROFILE PICTURES -- $15

HALF BODY -- $20

FULL BODY -- $30

FULL PIECE -- $38

Communication will be over Discord, or Tumblr DMs if necessary. DM me here or use Ko-fi to start!

previews + more info under cut (blood/gore warning for one of the previews (its part of a screenshot, so not detailed))

WILL DO:

Humanoids

System alters

OCs

Fanart

NSFW (with limits)

Gore (probably not anatomically accurate)

WONT DO (with exceptions):

Super high detail designs (unless you have a detailed ref/are okay with less detail)

Animals

Complex scenes with over 3 characters

GENERAL GUIDELINES:

ALL OF WHAT FOLLOWS, AS WELL AS PRICES, IS SUBJECT TO CHANGE.

Payment via Ko-fi or Cashapp.

Costs are loosely based on an hourly wage. I'm open to minor negotiations, but don't expect discounts.

Payment is up front. If either of us needs to cancel at any point, I will provide (NOT FULL) refunds depending on where I am in the process.

Timeframe is around a week, give or take a few days, depending on the complexity of the ask. My ADHD is awful, so PLEASE pester me!

I need a ref! I'm not great at visualizing from text descriptions, so if you could provide references and a general sketch of what you want, that would be great! It doesn't need to be good at all--what I have in mind is really nothing more than a stick figure scribble. It just needs to get the idea across somehow.

I will work with you and talk back and forth as I work on the sketch! I will also check in throughout the process to make sure everything is going as you wish.

You can ask for a specific style! Simply provide an example of a piece I've done in the past. You can see my art on my tumblr -> https://moonstandardtime.tumblr.com/tagged/my%20art

PLEASEEE COMMUNICATE!! Thank you!

SPECIFICS:

REFUNDS:

- If you commission a piece and you cancel it, you will be refunded for what I haven't made significant progress on. For example, if you cancel a full-body with color, simple shading, and a simple background, and I've finished the lineart and started flat colors, you will be refunded $20 out of $55. You will recieve the unfinished piece.

- If you cancel a commission before I start it, you will recieve a full refund.

- If you cancel a commission before the intial sketch is finalized, you will recieve a 90% refund and the sketch.

REVISIONS:

- You can change as much as you want during the initial sketch. Anything after may come with a fee.

- If you want something changed late into the process, the fee will be increased.

- If it's too late, I may not be able to change it.

COPYRIGHT & USAGE:

ON MY SIDE:

- I reserve the right to cancel and refund the order at any time for any reason.

- I retain all copyrights over the commissioned artwork.

- I will NOT claim the intellectual property (IP) of the commissioned artwork (your characters are still yours, etc.)

- I will NOT profit further from the commissioned artwork unless you (the customer) break any of the terms.

- I reserve the right to post the commissioned artwork online and in my portfolio..

ON YOUR SIDE:

- You may upload the commissioned artwork on any website and social channels.

- You may NOT make profits from the commissioned piece (reselling, redistributing, uploading to POD-services, making prints for selling, etc.)

- You may NOT alter the commissioned artwork without my consent.

- You retain the rights to the intellectual property (IP).

- You may NOT use the commissioned artwork for commercial purposes.

- The following is considered copyright infringement:​

- Reproducing/using the copyrighted artwork commercially - means making money off it in any way not excluded from these terms.

- Claiming the artwork as your own.

- Altering the artwork without my consent.

[shunin-gumis]

Designs of Happiness - Track A21

L4mps Main Story Translation

Title: As a Human Representative

Characters: Daniel, Nagi, Netaro

Summary: Daniel finds Nagi collapsed in the lounge area. Although Nagi did not reveal the reason for it, he had discovered Netaro’s true identity… 

Thank you aca @463ce6, myun @/myuntachis Niri @/Niri_riri and jes @/arcanecrayonn for helping me with proofing!

Location: Hakodate - Hotel Lounge

Daniel: Phew… This is pure bliss~ Saunas really are the best… 

Daniel: Huh?

Nagi: …… 

Daniel: Nagi, what’re you all sprawled out on the ground for? 

Nagi: …… 

Daniel: I get that it was too hot for you, but you're just gonna end up catching a cold if you do that right after a bath.

Nagi: …… 

Daniel: You could at least— Wait, is he knocked out!? 

Daniel: Nagi, you okay!? Get a hold of yourself! 

Nagi: Ugh… Buchi-san… 

Daniel: Good, at least you’re conscious. Did you get dizzy? 

*Netaro pops out from behind Nagi*

Netaro: I believe this is a minor case of anemia. 

Daniel: Woah– Damn, you scared me. Didn’t know you were here too. 

Netaro: Mhm.

Daniel: At least help him out instead of just sitting on your ass with popsicles in both hands!

Netaro: Nyam nyam. 

Daniel: Nagi, think you can stand?

Netaro: Can you~?

Nagi: …Oh, yeah. 

Daniel: What’s wrong? Was it really just anemia? 

Nagi: …… 

~~~(flashback)

Netaro: Hm… So be it. I was inclined to hold back for a while longer, but now that it’s come to this—

Netaro: You’ll have to suffice.

Nagi: *fearful breathing*

Nagi: (I feel like I’ve been struck with sleep paralysis— )

Netaro: You’re unable to move, aren’t you~ It seems the heat from the sauna has caused me to glitch, you see. 

Netaro: I cannot even mimic the human form at this moment… 

Nagi: (M-Mimic…?)

Netaro: Would you like to see my true form? I’m right beside you. 

Nagi: !?

Netaro: Those retinae of yours cannot retain my image, so I’m Invisible Netaro now.

Netaro: In accordance with Article 1156 of the Interstellar Constitution established by my planet, any local lifeform that learns of my true form is applicable to receive necessary information and given the opportunity to make a choice.

Netaro: At the same time, exceptional measures are to be taken in the event of the endangerment of an official investigator, such as myself.

Nagi: (????)

Netaro: I, Netaro Yowa, am an extraterrestrial lifeform from the planet “Proxima Centauri b,” designated as such by you earthlings. I have arrived here for the sake of a certain mission.

Netaro: As this mission is top secret, you will not be made aware of the details, even if you choose to follow Article 1156.

Netaro: My main goal is to conduct an investigation on the primary lifeform on this planet, the human race, at a military-level secret operation. However, in the event of an emergency, my life is to be prioritized over that of the local lifeform. 

Nagi: (W-Which means…?)

Netaro: In order to maintain my continued activities on this planet, as well as my mimicry of the human form, I need to intake a specific amount of adaptive factors within a fixed timeframe.

Netaro: I would like you to act as my prospective donor. 

Nagi: (I don’t get what he’s saying…)

Netaro: This is all you need to understand—

*Netaro reveals a contract*

Netaro’s Proposed Contract

The following agreement is made and entered into by and between Netaro Yowa (hereafter referred to as “Recipient”) and Nagi Hachinoya (hereafter referred to as “Donor”):

The Donor is to provide the Recipient with a specified amount of his body whenever it is requested of him. a) The frequency and volume may vary, as long as it does not lead to the Donor’s loss of life.

The Donor must not reveal any confidential information about the Recipient to any other lifeform (including AI).

The Donor must cooperate with the Recipient to ensure that no confidential information is revealed to any other lifeform (including AI).

In the event that the Donor breaches any terms of this Agreement, the Interstellar Court will act as the court of instance with exclusive jurisdiction over the matter. The Recipient has the right to restrain the Donor until a resolution is reached.

Netaro: I’m certain those back on my planet will have no complaints in this case. 

Nagi: (This is getting more and more confusing… What does he even mean by “a specified amount of his body”...)

Netaro: As long as it is something produced by your body, anything is fine. I quite prefer blood, myself.

Nagi: !!

Netaro: To put it simply, if you refuse to act as my donor and protect my secret, you will die. 

Nagi: !?

Netaro: Local lifeform Nagi: You have two choices.

Netaro: To agree to this contract, or to be eaten whole by me; which do you prefer?

Nagi: …!

Netaro: Will you cry? Are you tearing up~? I enjoy tears almost as much as I do blood~

Nagi: …… 

Nagi: Will it hurt…?

Netaro: I could indeed compound a drug that could numb your sense of pain, but that will have to be for next time!

Nagi: I won’t… die, right…?

Netaro: You just read the Agreement, did you not!? I wouldn’t want to destroy a precious dispenser of adaptive factor!

Netaro: Though, I’m not entirely confident, as I’m far too hungry at the moment. 

Nagi: …… 

Nagi: Okay. I’ll do it. 

Netaro: Yaaayyyy~!

Nagi: Even if I did die, it’s not like it would affect anybody. 

Nagi: You might be an alien, but I don’t think it’s very nice to leave someone alone when they’re suffering… 

Nagi: I don’t want you to have a bad impression of earthlings… 

Netaro: Good. You are prepared, yes? 

Nagi: Huh, wait– Right now? Here!? Hold on–

Nagi: A-Ahhhhhhhhhhh………

~~~(end flashback)

Location: Hakodate - Hotel Lounge

Daniel: …Nagi, you listening? 

Nagi: *gasp* Oh, sorry… 

Daniel: You sure it’s just anemia? 

Nagi: Yeah. I’m okay now. 

Daniel: Alright, then sit down over there. You want a popsicle? 

Nagi: Oh, but I already had one so… 

Daniel: Then I’ll give you my share. What flavor do you want? 

Nagi: Thank you… Then, I’d like pineapple. 

Daniel: Got it. Netaro over there is just stuffing himself on these though, geez. 

Netaro: Nyam nyam.

Nagi: …… 

Daniel: Here. 

Nagi: Thank you.

Nagi: …… 

Nagi: (This is orange…)

Netaro: Delicious, is it not? Gii.

Nagi: Urk… Yeah, it is… 

Netaro: Shall I share some of my grape-flavored one with you? 

Nagi: …!

*Nagi bumps into Daniel*

Daniel: Woah there, what’s wrong? You just sprang out of your seat like some grasshopper. 

Nagi: It’s… nothing. Sorry. 

Netaro: Even though it’s so delicious… 

Nagi: …… 

Notes:

Proxima Centauri b is an exoplanet orbiting within the habitable zone of the red dwarf star Proxima Centauri, which is the closest star to the Sun and part of the larger triple star system Alpha Centauri.

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Masterlist

[may-bee-its-just-me]

[COMMISSIONS OPEN]

!!Emergency!!

But also, no pressure! - A friend from work and his mom are having a hard time keeping a roof over their heads. They have have opened a GoFundMe, however sharing this link would doxx both him and myself. So, I've decided to open commissions to raise some money to help them out :]

Disclaimer; Due to my tight schedule, I will not be able to fulfill commissions as quickly as I have in the past. And, because of the sensitive time frame of this fundraising, I have not been able to make a fancy commission info sheet(s) like last time, so we're doing this old fashioned text; Apologies for the long read in advance. For more information about expected timeframe to receive your commission, please read through to the bottom.

What do you charge?

Headshot/Icon (from collarbone area and up): $25 USD Flat color, $45 USD Full shaded

Half body (from the waist up): $50 USD flat color, $75 USD Full shaded - Not available for ponies

Full body: $75 USD flat color, $100 USD Full shaded

Additional characters can be added for additional 75% of the original single character cost. (Example; 2 characters in a pic fully shaded will be $100 for one, and $75 for the other making the total price $175)

May charge extra for complex or busy designs that take longer to draw :(

Simple backgrounds (color, pattern, shapes) are no added cost, however Full background requests will be an additional $15 USD.

I do take style requests, but only with the understanding that I might not copy the style 100%

If you want something done but is not listed (Like turning a human character into a pony, a pony into a doll, character redesign, etc.) feel free to still contact me and we can discuss the logistics of fulfilling such commission!

I do not issue refunds

Commission Boundaries:

Will do:

Humans

Ponies

Fan art or OC

Context dependent:

Turning real people into styled portraits

Anthro (Its not my strong suit, but I can do some)

Special commission requests not listed

Hard No:

Heavy gore (a little blood or bruising is fine, but beyond that is forbidden)

Anything sexual or related to kink/fetish, nudity, lewd, or otherwise NSFW

I do not do realism, though I doubt anyone stumbling to my page will ask for that.

Anything that promotes a hateful message.

Money will be asked for UPFRONT - I know some will be sketched out by this. Please rest assured, I am not a con artist - only a broke artist trying to help another broke service worker out.

Money will be sent through CashApp - No clue if it's weird for online commissions to use CashApp, but it's what I'm used to and I will not be accepting other payment types. I will send my cash tag when it comes time to pay up.

If you want to post commissioned work from me on this platform or elsewhere, I only ask that you credit back to this tumblr blog and provide link where possible (I know some apps don't allow links though.)

For tax reasons, I will be putting a cap on raised money at $400 - All money will be going towards helping my Coworker/Friend out. If you'd like to see proof of your money going toward his fundraiser I can provide screenshots with censored personal information. I will be allowing commission slots until that $400 is as close to maxxed out as I can get it, starting at 4 commission slots and will provide updates if I can open any additional slots.

Slot 1: [OPEN] Slot 2: [OPEN] Slot 3: [OPEN] Slot 4: [OPEN]

I will be sharing blog names of those who are booking their commission slot, as well as posting finished commissions here on my artist blog - UNLESS otherwise requested. You may ask to stay anonymous and/or not have your finished commission posted on Tumblr/Discord, or anywhere else public.

Time frame expectations:

In the past I have been able to do commissions within a few weeks of receiving the DM regarding it - I will not be able to work that quickly this time. Due to a large project I'm preoccupied with until the end February, I will not be starting on these commissions until the beginning of March. Despite the delay on starting the art, I will ask that payment be sent ahead of time, with the trust in me that I will fulfill your order when March comes around. Pinkie promise!

I will work in order of when I received Payment, and thus as your name is numbered in the Slot list. I will work on them (ideally) one or two at a time. I do not do commissions with due dates unless the due date is far out. This will likely take several weeks before I finish the last commission, but I will do what I can to fulfill each one in a timely manner and communicate progress as we go forth with the creative process.

I will send you a message when starting the drawing, as well as sending progress pics after rough sketch, line work, and after flat colors. I can also provide additional progress pics upon request within reason. I only ask for patience and understanding of my circumstances, and a willingness to communicate back and forth through the process. :]

If for any reason you do not want me to message you with progress updates, please let me know.

All that being said, you can contact me through DMs to place an order and I will work with you from there.

Thank you for any and all contributions to this fundraiser! Reminder that there is no pressure to donate at all, I just know I've been asked about commissions lately and this is the least I could do to help a friend out. ^^

-Mod Bee 🐝

[newstedz]

snowfall ☆ kirk hammett

okay so i'm relatively new to this but i just was so inspired by @mustainegf 's prompt that I just kept writing and writing and you get the idea. basic gist is that kirk calls you over to watch an old movie with him, its all fluff (timeframe is around 1987, post damage inc. tour.) also sorry for the incredibly generic title I literally cannot think of anything else

exhausted was an understatement.

you'd finally gotten a day off, and god was it needed. you barely had any energy to get out of bed to grab a snack, much less go outside. besides, it was freezing, and as much as you loved the idea of snow, it loses its charm when you're stuck waiting at the bus stop in the middle of a blizzard.  the day is yours, and ideally it would have been spent alone, tucked into bed. but then, you got a call. your stomach instantly dropped. you anticipated it'd be your boss, fabricating some asinine reason for you to appear at work today, even though nobody in their right mind would be out in the cold just to go to some shitty retail store. you pick up the phone with a groan. however, you're met with another familiar voice. one you weren't expecting, and suddenly, that dread in the pit of your stomach is replaced with butterflies.

"hey!" kirk beams from the other end of the phone. "sorry- did I wake you up?"

"no." you reply. granted, you weren't fully awake, but you didn't have the heart to make him think he may have been burdening you.

"oh.. okay!" he says, not seeming to need much convincing. "anyways, i just got this tape, you've gotta see this. it's some horror movie from like, the 50's or something. I got the tape  from this guy, he- I mean, that's not really important, I guess." he says, his enthusiasm dwindling as his voice grows more shy. "but I was wondering, I mean, i'd really like for you to come over and watch it with me. if you want." he offers sheepishly.

you can't help but smile. if it were anyone else, you'd consider making up some elaborate excuse about how you caught a stomach bug or fell ill after standing in the cold for too long. but you've known Kirk since you were kids, and you can't remember the last time you guys got to really hang out. between you working and his touring schedule, things just never seemed to work. it was something special to him, too. you knew how involved he was in tape trading, horror, and all that stuff you couldn't quite wrap your head around. but for him, you'd do it in a heartbeat. you gaze out the window. it's still snowing, but it had slowed to flurries. a thin layer of snow coats the grass and branches of the trees. you can't pass this up.

"sure."

"really? nice! so um. I'll see you." he exclaims, abruptly ending the call before you could even ask when he wanted you to be there. you sigh, getting up and heading for the shower.  one long bus ride later, you arrive at his door. as soon as you knock he rushes to the door, trying (and failing) to hide his excitement. "hey!" he grins, showing off his adorable, crooked smile. he steps aside allowing you to enter. "sorry its a mess in here. i just got back.." he murmurs. you cant help but laugh. "its whatever, man. i've seen worse from you." you reply, earning a chuckle from him. as soon as you two get settled, the snow gets heavy. very heavy. seems like you made it just in time. kirk seems to notice too. "looks like you're stuck with me."

_

the next hour is spent watching the movie, though it seems like it was only used as a catalyst for the two of you to play catch-up and for him to infodump trivia about the film. though you can't focus on the movie, at least not now. you're too focused on the way the light shines off his face and curls. the way he incessantly giggles when recalling a crazy road story. the snow is piling up outside, and it's only now that you realize he was trying to talk to you.

"hey, did you hear me?" he asks, tilting his head. he figured he was talking your ear off, though you really could listen to him all day.

"huh? i- no, you're good. i'm just.. cold." you attempt to wave it off unconvincingly, only leaving you to be met with more of his concerns. "are you okay? you were kinda just staring. are you bored? we can do something else, if you want." he murmurs as he gazes briefly at you, only to shift his focus to the TV screen. it could be the lighting, but you could've sworn you saw the lightest tinge of color come to his cheeks. 

"what about you?" you ask. the whole time you've been here, you've gotten the basic stuff, yeah. but it wasn't as personal as it used to be between the two of you. you used to stay up for hours talking about your worries, your goals. you were the first one he told about anything, and vice versa. but now it seemed like he was nervous just from being the same room with you. 

"what about me? i'm fine." he shrugs, now trying to shift the attention back to the movie.

"then why wont you look at me?" the question sorta just slips out. you didn't mean to pry, today was supposed to be lighthearted, but kirk's reaction seems to confirm your suspicions of there being something more, as he begins to stumble over his words. you place your hand gently over his. "you know you can talk to me, right?" as your eyes meet, his face goes red. "it's stupid." kirk murmurs again, though he knows he can't hide this from you anymore. "i feel like.. i'm running out of time. I mean- you're not always gonna be waiting around for me, and it's like whenever i'm gone, i.." he trails off, shifting his gaze away from you yet again. he takes a deep breath, gathering his courage. "I like you. like really like you, and I don't wanna drift off from you or mess anything up-" kirk rambles on, but you've heard enough. you laugh, suddenly scooting closer to him. all you give is an affectionate "shut up" before your lips meet. you move away to see his shocked expression, but he quickly swaps it for a huge, dorky grin as he pulls you in for another.

a few more shared kisses later, kirk pulls away, staring back at the window. he turns back to you. "y'know.. it's pretty nasty out there. maybe you should stay the night." he grins, not subtle in the slightest. you can't help but laugh and nod. suddenly, the room feels so much warmer.

[redasmyblood]

I Will Possess Your Heart // Part 4

Oliver Reed x Reader

Part 3 < > Part 5 (wip)

Warnings |  Explicit sexual content, oral (m recieving), cursing

Word Count | 3.6k

Authors Note | I take a lot of breaks, I think you guys have caught onto that by now. I don't want to sit here and be like i'm really busy guys, sorry but truly i'm just so busy and my heart hasn't been in writing at all. I want that to change but I can't make any promises. For now, as a peace offering, here is the next part to I Will Possess Your Heart and hopefully the fifth and final part will be releasing very soon after.

The morning slides into the afternoon and the afternoon slides into the night and before you know it, once again you are beneath the covers of Oliver's bed, ear pressed to his chest as you listen to the slow, content beating of his heart. Although he denied his tiredness he has fallen into an easy sleep with you beside him and though anxiety pools in your stomach you refuse to deprive him of the sleep he seems to need so desperately.

You know you should leave, you can't stop thinking about it. Who in their right mind seeks a stranger out in the dead of night due to car troubles and then let's him entertain them for a weekend with sex and booze? It wasn't a normal situation and the guilt was truly getting to you.

For now, you decided, you'd sleep. At this point in the evening there wasn't much for you to do in terms of relieving Oliver of your presence and you weren't even sure he'd want you to go when the time came. So, sleep. It was a problem for future you to sort out.

~

And so, morning came, much faster than you'd have preferred but seeing Oliver still sound asleep, face beautifully calm in the morning light you knew it was time to go.

Reasonably, there is no way, no way at all that you have fallen so deeply for a stranger. You've known him for two days and already you felt an attachment that makes you shiver when you begin to even think of severing it.

Finally, you rise, peeling yourself carefully away from the bed and assuring that Oliver says sound asleep. Before leaving the room though, you move to stand on his side of the bed so you can brush a kiss to his hairline. You feel bad about what you're going to do but you know that if he woke and asked you to stay again, you may not be able to bring yourself to say no.

Once down the stairs, stepping as carefully as you can so as not to make much noise, you begin searching for your phone. You expect not to find it without a fight but there it is, perched on top of your now cleaned and dried clothes that lay folded on Oliver's desk in the living room. Miraculously it still has a charge to it and in an even greater leap of luck you now have cell reception.

Without thinking to hard on the money you're able to set up a tow truck and a ride back into the city where you reside, all things able to be neatly wrapped up before dinner time this evening.

You'd really feel unforgivable if you didn't leave something for Oliver, some sign of life, maybe an apology letter. After a small bit of deliberation you decide to scrawl your number on the legal pad you find at his desk and a short note. You don't feel the need to say much as you really aren't certain of your feelings yet but still, you make sure it's something substantial enough not to leave him with hard feelings.

With that, you gather your belongings, opting to keep the clothes he's lent you and call a car. Not a single sound alerts you that Oliver has stirred awake and for that you are grateful. You'd rather be out and gone without a word, like some specter or ghost, unseen.

The car pulls up within a timeframe you're certain is impossible considering how far out and into the woods you are. Once situated you take one more look at the manor house before your driver pulls away. You swear that in one of the windows on the top floor you can feel Oliver's form, standing, stoic. It takes all of your willpower to turn your cheek and leave without a single whisper of a goodbye.

You're doing what needs to be done. You can't live in a fantasy with a man you barely know. You hope he calls, of course you do but you know it's better for both of you if you're rid of the house now rather than later.

~

Days went by, days and days and days until the days faded to weeks and now, it's been almost three months since you left Oliver's glamourous home. Almost three months since you scrawled your phone number on a notepad atop his desk. Almost three months without a single call. Almost three months since you were forced into the realization that you won't ever be seeing him again.

Huffing you curl your body sideways, allowing your forehead to rest on the chilly glass of the train car you're sitting in. The world moves by in a blur and as you watch you wish the endless slew of city lights would swallow you whole. Ever since you left his house that night, you'd felt empty which almost made you laugh considering you had nothing to build upon apart from the strange situation you had found yourselves in and incredible sex.

An automated bell dings and your stop is called out by a voice that is equally as artificial. Gathering your bag and pulling your coat on a bit tighter you stand to leave. As you approach the doors, which are very slowly hauling themselves open you're robbed of all breathe.

With a dull thud your purse hits the floor, "Oliver?"

His eyes are tired and dim but when he hears your voice they seem to open wider and brighten. "Y/n?"

None other than Oliver Reed is standing at the very end of the train car, following a short line of people to exit the vehicle. The world stops around you and the overwhelming rush of emotions that grasps you keeps you glued to the spot. Hardly aware of people pushing past you to get off the train you take in Oliver's appearance and your heart aches. He's wearing a vest similar to the one he shrugged off after inviting you into his house on that fateful night and a pair of slacks. His hair is neatly brushed unlike the tangled tresses you were so used to. Even as the sky donned the night like a silky, starlit nightgown he wore a pair of oddly cut sunglasses that somehow looked perfect on him but would make anyone else look ridiculous.

Finally your brain catches up and before you realize you're doing it you rush towards him, belongings forgotten on the floor. You stop right in front of him, mere inches away from touching, your hands folded together at your chest, "I never thought I'd see you again."

He huffs out a breath and reaches for you, placing a hand on your cheek. "Neither did I."

As though you've been forced back into your body and made to see out of your eyes you blink away the haze of excitement just enough to remember that you're supposed to be exiting the train. He makes a noise of affirmation when you turn to get your bag and grab his hand, pulling him off the train and into a tight embrace once you're steady on your feet. Both of your hearts are beating fast and hard, as if to escape their confines and meld together, two halves finally whole. Oliver holds you against him and now that you're back in his arms you never want to leave. The cold outside does it's best to chill your exposed skin but the warmth of the man in front of you helps quell the bite.

When he pulls away you step back, blurting out the one thing you couldn't stop thinking about, "You never called."

"I didn't know what to say but--" He sighs and looks at you, forlorn "--please believe me when I tell you that I wanted to. I think I was just... confused."

"I do, I swear. I just wish that you did. I--" You pull yourself into his chest again, pressing your face into the crook of his neck to bite back your words, not ready to fully realize how deep your feelings run. "God, I missed you."

He smells the same as before, warm, sweet and slightly alcoholic. "I've missed you too, love."

You break away for a moment and just stare into each others eyes, the train leaving the station a blurry background noise to your occupied brain. The entire world around you has dimmed and all you know is Oliver, all you feel is Oliver, all you want is Oliver. Without really thinking you thread your fingers through his hair and pull his lips to yours, smiling at the softness of his mouth moving in sync with your own.

When his hands move to your hips and pull you flush against him you smile against his mouth and he hums. It feels perfect.

All of the questions, the worry, the unanswered want, they're all melting away and making room for this moment. You never thought you'd be reunited and now that you are it's sweeter than you could have ever imagined.

"Let me buy you dinner," He mumbles, words muffled against your lips.

"Please."

~

You both walk in silence, the streetlights illuminating the rain speckled road. Apparently Oliver is in town for a movie audition and plans to be around for a few days, the thought that you'll have him nearby for the weekend puts an immovable smile on your lips.

Hand in hand you make your way to a small pub and as soon as you enter you're warmed from the crown of your head to your toes. The lighting is dim and the bar is crowded with people but somehow you're able to find a little booth tucked away in the back. Everything is falling into place as if this moment is destiny. You truly believe that to be so.

Once you've ordered drinks, Oliver places his chin in his hand and gazes upon you with nothing but pure bliss and adoration in his eyes. "It's so fucking good to see you, love. I never thought I'd be able to again."

You look up at him through your lashes and smile bashfully, "I never thought I would either." You still can't shake the hurt of knowing that he was fully capable of contacting you the whole time but chose not to. Clearing your throat you lock eyes with him and press again, "I still don't really understand why you didn't call."

He sighs and looks to the side, avoiding the almost accusatory expression on your face. "I just... I was upset and confused and I really thought that your number may have just been a courtesy. I didn't know if you actually felt the same." The pained look on his face makes you reach out for his hands. You take them in your own and rub circles into the backs of them with your thumbs. His instinct at first is to pull away but quickly he melts into it and lets out a deep breath through his nose.

"I'm sorry."

Completely shattering in the moment the waiter walks over and places your drinks down. Oliver nods his head at the boy and then looks back to you. "So, do you come here often?"

A dumb grin pulls on your lips and you laugh. "I do, in fact. I live just down the street." You cock an eyebrow at him "What brings Oliver Reed to this neck of the woods?"

He looks surprised for a moment before you can see on his face that he realizes he hasn't explained his presence in your city. "I've got brunch with a director tomorrow, I was coming in tonight to stay and get my bearings before we met."

"Funny coincidence that you end up so close to me," you laugh, truly just so happy to be in his presence.

"You've got that right, love. What a surprise to see you on the same train as me, I thought I was hallucinating until you came right up and I could touch you."

"Well, I'm real and I'm right here and I am just as surprised as you."

You both sit in silence for a moment, just staring, taking each other in. What a situation you have found yourselves in, to being on the same train and now to knowing that Oliver will be staying a night in the place you've lived your whole life.

"What do you say we head back to mine after dinner?" You ask without thinking "You could even stay with me for the night if you want. Though I'm sure if you've booked a hotel you'd better stay there..." You trail off, slowly getting quieter and mumbling throughout the sentence but he shakes his head.

"How could I ever say no to you, darling. Let me worry about the hotel and I'll let you worry about leading the way." Letting go of one of your hands that you didn't realize he'd been holding he reaches to sip his drink. Taking the opportunity you run the toe of your shoe up his leg, you hope the gesture is sexy and not awkward. Guessing by the way his eyes darken and how he sets down his glass, you had the effect you were going for. Something about him makes you so much more playful and daring than usual. "I think I might take you up on that sooner than I had anticipated."

"Patience, Oliver, patience." You send him a flirty wink and he just smirks, a million plans of what he could do to you seemingly flashing behind his eyes.

"I'll show you fucking patience doll, just you wait." The look in his eyes has your pressing your thighs together.

You spend the rest of the night drinking and laughing and shamelessly flirting. It feels so natural and now that you've fallen into a rhythm with him you don't want it to stop.

You cash out and leave quicker than you'd anticipated, dragging him down the street. You truly do only live a couple blocks away and in this situation that is more than perfect. You're both itching to get inside.

The whole walk you're both giggling like teenagers and Oliver can't keep his hands off of you, the entire time his arm is firmly planted around your waist, effectively keeping you pressed into his side.

"This is my building, right here" You say, fishing out your keys as you walk up the steps and approach the door. Once unlocked you lead Oliver by the hand to the elevator.

Almost immediately the doors open and as soon as you step in Oliver is on you, pinning you to the wall and kissing your neck. He presses his leg between yours and grips your chin so he can give himself all the room he needs to suck and lick and kiss at your throat. You giggle and pull him off of you just enough to haphazardly throw your hand to the panel of buttons on the wall and hit your floor, all the while his hands are trailing down your top until he can slip them under your shirt and cup your breasts.

"So impatient" You breathe, the words holding the same cadence as a soft moan. Despite your words you thread your hands into his hair to pull him back and grind down on his thigh.

"Seems like you're the impatient one, you and your needy little pussy" He practically growls.

You can feel your cheeks get hot and when he looks down at you you almost melt. Every time your eyes meet it feels like an electric shock.

"I think you like it." You whisper, guiding his mouth to yours by a soft hand under his chin. He releases a content sigh when your lips meet, almost melting completely at having you this close again.

"Oh yeah? and what makes you think that?" His voices is taunting and his breath is warm against you cheek as he breaks the kiss to speak.

Instead of using words you slide the hand that isn't holding his face between your bodies, palming him through his pants. Usually it's him that does the smirking but right now you have the most smug look on your face and he does nothing to challenge it and regain control. A whimper-like sound shakes out of him and he leans into your touch, starting to press his hips harder into your hand as you rub your hand against him faster.

The elevator doors opening makes you both freeze, your bodies eerily still. He rests his forehead against yours and sighs. You're reluctant to break apart but force yourself to in favor of being able to indulge in the privacy of your apartment.

Once again, Oliver's hands refuse to leave your body and when you get to your door he presses himself against your ass, letting you know just how hard he is... as if you weren't already aware. "When that door opens... I'm going to ruin you" He murmurs into your hair.

"Oh I'm counting on it" You throw back, pushing the door open and stepping inside. Instantly following through on his threat he slams the door closed and spins you around, starting to unbutton your blouse. You might have assumed that he'd already been in your apartment by the way he walks you back to the couch without hesitation but you have a feeling that if there was no couch to run into he would've kept walking you back until you ran into something else. He just got lucky, apparently.

When the backs of your knees hit the arm you're almost forced to sit down which brings you level to his belt. You slide back so you can kneel on the couch and then pull him closer by said belt. He abandons any attempt at removing your shirt when he sees you unbuckle it and claw his pants down. You've waited for too long for this, you're not gonna waste any time with pleasantries.

As soon as he is no longer confined to the sleek black boxers beneath his slacks you put your mouth on him. First by flattening your tongue and dragging it along the underside of his cock, then by taking him fully into your mouth. He throws his hips forward at the feeling and hits the back of your throat. You recover quickly and hum around him, bringing one hand up to rest on his stomach.

"My god, you look so fucking hot like this" He mumbles, starting to guide your movements with the hands he's anchored in your hair.

Even after the short amount of time you spent with him you're relishing in everything that is Oliver. You missed it so... the feel of him, the weight of him on your tongue, his moans and breaths and the way his fingers feel dancing over your cheekbones to coax himself further down your throat. He's got you in a trance and you wouldn't have it any other way.

You tenderly rub your thumb over his hipbone, a far more gentle and loving action compared to the way you're lavishing him with your mouth. His hips stutter and you can assume he's already close by how desperate his thrusts have become. At this point he's controlling everything, holding your head in place and guiding himself in and out of your mouth at whatever speed he pleases. You don't mind one bit.

He lets up briefly, pulling away from you and stroking his hand over himself. Spit has managed to smear all over your lips and cheeks and you can feel that your makeup has fallen into a state of disarray. You wipe your mouth with the back of your hand and slide your eyes up his body "I've thought about this every single night since I left. I just can't get you off my mind."

That does something for him, maybe the geuninity in the admission or the soft look on your face, you'll never know but he pulls you up by your arms and kisses you deeply. His hands are back in your hair but this time, the way he's holding you feels so different, almost loving, like you'll break if he isn't gentle.

After a beat he pulls back and searches your face. The entire mood has shifted and the air has grown thick with unspoken words. You'd never guess what he says and when it passes his lips you feel so incredibly full of affection, "You're the only thing I've been able to think about. I spent so many nights just staring at that note. I really and truly am so sorry I kept you waiting."

"We're here now," You whisper and then you pause, thinking. "Do you think you would have called if we didn't run into each other today?"

Your arms are around his neck and you're still close enough that if you leaned forward your lips would touch. "I honestly... I don't know. I want to say yes but to be truthful, love, I was fucking terrified."

"Don't be... there's nothing to be afraid of." And that's that, any other words that could've slipped into the sliver of space between your mouths dies in the air as you pull him back in.

Slowly but surely you slide a hand behind you and lower yourself back onto the couch, bringing him with you. You're vaguely aware of him kicking off his shoes as he climbs on top of you, eventually making himself comfortable as your legs fall into place around his hips.

~

One more part left and then these lovebirds will have a complete story. Give me all your thoughts!!! Do we want part 5 and soon?

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[gobblinhours]

SHIPS! I have a feeling we both like 'em!

So other than Three x Eight Any other ships you enjoy/Your squid squad are a part of?

In ascending order of interest:

Cuttletavio: I'm 50/50 on doing this, and that's only if it's doomed yaoi. They were besties. They loved eachother. They were split apart by war. 100 years hence and they're back on nonhostile terms but they can't go back to what they were before.

Calf1sh: I'm good with it. I don't 100% get it but I can think of a dynamic that works for me and is both funny and fluffy. What I don't get about it is all of the pre-SO stuff. Acht was literally a flesh robot that desired nothing more than to make music. They would literally only be useful for tax benefits I have no idea why it got so popular. I like it, but I can live without it.

I'm fine reading works without it, but I am completely set on integrating M4rie into my canon. However an actual relationship won't happen for a LONG time, seeing as how I have to finish conceptualizing Four's character arc. And write it. And write a good confession story. All that is concrete is that the relationship will happen in a nebulous timeframe somewhere between the end of Side Order and before Marie enters her mid-thirties. In-universe. I can't guarantee that I'll get it done before 2028. And don't worry internet puritans, they meet at 17 and 19, and the relationship starts at the absolute soonest at 24 and 26. I think that's safe enough.

I'm not an antishipper but if i see a fic with a Pearl/Marina ship that isn't Pearlina I ain't reading it even if it tells me how to find the Chaos Emeralds IRL. MarinAcht gets a pass but only if it's doomed yuri. One-sided attraction on Acht's side is also tolerated on principle but I still won't read that 90% of the time because OSA makes me want to shrivel. My opinion of you as a person has no relation to if you write non Pearlina ships but they are Married and Wifeys and that is TRUTH.

You may be wondering why Deep Cut and Neo aren't mentioned. I have reasons. I write Deep Cut as the comedy characters. I do that for Callie too, but she gets a character arc and trauma and stuff that makes her serious. Deep Cut's arc is that they get over their ocean racism. That's it. The closest thing to shipping is that Shiver flirts with people to get free stuff. They funny. They simple. They work best as three ride-or-die besties. I have no ill will towards anyone that ships them, but they are as romantically interested in eachother as Team Rocket.

Neo does have a ship planned, but I'm keeping her story locked up tighter than anyone else. You ask anything about the other agents and I will hint towards things. Ask about the wrong Neo lore and ▊▊▊▊▊▊ ▊▊▊▊▊▊

Little Buddy's ship is Him/The Hot Spinning Cone of Meat in the Greek Restaurant Next Door. He is 2 years old during RotM. He is hungy babey.

[tigergirltail]

TIGER HRT CHAPTER 2 - MONTH 0 - EXPECTATIONS

FIRST/PREV - NEXT

---

It's been six months. Six months since that weird doctor and his inane little test to prove I'm ready, or at least, ready enough. Six months since I signed a stack of liability waivers forfeiting my right to pursue legal action for any reason up to and including untimely death. Only DAYS left before I can finally claim the entire reason I was there in the first place.

I came home today to find an information package in the mail - things I need to know before making my final commitment to the treatment. It's somewhat reassuring, really. By the sounds of it, this guy has to deal with all kinds of odd requests - I heard a rumour that someone went to him for a chimera treatment at one point - which means that he has to do all this research into side effects personally. …Although there's no telling how much of this is speculation. Concerning.

The information package is divided into different headings, roughly organized by risk factor and how outwardly noticeable they are, as if he's right here with me, trying to scare me off from it.

I decided before I even went to him that I wasn't going to let myself be scared again. Let's see what I'm in for. I sit down and start reading…

SKELETAL STRUCTURE

"Subject's height will noticeably increase. Increase of six inches is expected, increase of one foot is possible."

Huh. I guess I wouldn't mind being taller, but that's definitely going to affect what kinds of clothes I can wear. And I guess I might also get a bit wider proportionally? I'm already plus-size, maybe it'll just level it out.

"Subject may experience a conversion from plantigrade (walking on soles) to digitigrade (walking on toes)."

That makes me stop and think. I'd basically have to re-learn how to walk, and no doubt there's going to be an awkward intermediate period. Will my feet get bigger as well? They're big enough to make me dysphoric as it is. I wonder if I can get custom footwear made… I wonder how much that will cost…

"Subject will experience a reconfiguration of fingers to allow for retractable claws. Persistent soreness is to be expected."

Bluh. I've bitten my nails too close enough times to know how much it sucks not to be able to put pressure on my fingers without pain. I wonder how long that particular effect will last. Due to the lack of timeframe, I can only guess. Months, maybe. Years, I doubt it, but possibly.

"Subject's cranial and facial structure will experience long-term reformation. The effect this will have on brain function is unknown.

And here we get into "you signed a waiver" territory. I had accepted at the outset that death was a possibility, but I'm not sure how to feel about the risk of permanent brain damage. None of the other accounts of therian HRT I've heard seem to mention this, though, so maybe it's just speculation? I move on to the next heading.

DIET

"Tigers, like all felines, are obligate carnivores. Subject will be required to eat real meat (no substitutions) at every meal, or risk symptoms of starvation."

This had already occurred to me, to be honest. Part of the reason a white tiger is my fursona in the first place is because I am an unrepentant meat enjoyer. Heck, maybe a feline body will make meat taste even better.

"Lingering human characteristics may make it possible to digest other food, but the nutritional benefit to subject will be negligible."

…Ah. This was less expected. Does this mean I'll have to start thinking of things like bread and fruit as basically candy? Worse, will I have to avoid it? I love me a good grilled cheese, and poutine is basically an addictive substance, am I going to have to swear off some of my longtime favourites? Out of all of the effects so far, this is the one to give me the most hesitation. Yes, I love food, I'm not afraid to admit it.

"Subject is likely to lose cravings for non-meat food entirely."

I have to sit back and process this one. Back when I started human HRT, one of the things that gave me pause was the idea of decreased libido. That was one of the few things about my body that didn't make me dysphoric, unlike a lot of trans people whose stories I'd read. In the first few months, though, I found it settled into a pleasant sort of medium, where I could have it if I wanted, but it wouldn't show up out of nowhere. Maybe this will be the same way? Maybe poutine can still be a sometimes food? Cats eat weird stuff that's not healthy for them sometimes, but it's fine, right?

Some part of me considers holding a funeral for the abstract concept of poutine.

On to the final heading…

SENSORY EFFECTS

"Subject will gain heightened night vision and hearing. This will cause sleep to become significantly more difficult."

Trust a doctor to find the one downside to one of the coolest effects of the treatment… Do you even know how much I want to hear every beat of the world around me? Do you even understand how useful it would be to be able to see in the dark effortlessly? Having a tiger's eyes and ears would be almost worth every single downside by itself.

Besides, I'm a very heavy sleeper.

"Subject's hearing frequency range will become significantly more broad than a human's. High-pitched noises such as dog whistles will be audible and painful."

Well, I'm sure that's going to suck sometimes, but I don't think I'm exposed to such noises on the regular. Although… I suppose I wouldn't know, with my feeble human frequency range. It's something that might be fine or might suck, I guess.

"Subject's sense of touch will be strongly affected by fur growth."

Sure, that tracks, but I'm kind of looking forward to it. Maybe it's comparable to wearing a full-body fursuit? I've actually missed having opportunities to fullsuit, and I've thought about commissioning a new one if I saved up enough money, but I suppose that won't be necessary now.

Much of the rest of the document is a reminder that everything listed is Permanent and Irreversible short of Major Surgery, with some reminders of the various rights to litigate that I've waived. Ultimately, it sounds like I've got some big changes ahead, but nothing I've seen here is a dealbreaker.

It's slightly terrifying, but I'm excited.

I can't wait to hear the rain through a tiger's ears.

[sleepingdeath-sapphic]

hiiii i love how you’ve laid out your blog it’s so easy to navigate :)

could i request best friends to lovers with Gamora either a one shot or head cannons and possibly smut if you’re up for it ? thank you <3

friends to lovers hcs ; guardians of the galaxy

thank you for requesting anon <3

this includes gamora <3

reader is assumed as gender neutral <3

my account is 16+, please interact accordingly <3

note : i’ve never properly written for gamora before so this is quite short, i may eventually come back and rework this. in the meantime, i hope that you enjoy this sfw post lol <3

this is pretty much the only way to end up in an actual relationship with gamora — not just because her traumatic past has left her with plenty of trust issues and a strained relationship with intimacy and affection, but also because unless you two are something extremely casual she needs to know that she can (a) trust you to not turn her in for a bounty from her adopted father or anyone else who may have it out for her, (b) rely on you to have her back and help her out when things get difficult in general life or in the heat of a battle (yes she’s more than capable of defending herself, obviously, but having someone that looks out for her at all times massively lessens her burdens and makes life a whole lot easier), and (c) know that you’re looking out for her best interests and are willing to step in and speak out if she’s in the wrong or needs to adjust her approach for a particular mission (seeing feared and known as the intimidating assassin she trained to be is good for the ego and all, but having someone who loves her enough to stand up and correct her when she’s wrong just as much as they’ll stand by her when she’s right is really important), and having a background of intimate friendship would have more than given you the time to prove yourself to her in these ways and thus would make the transition to being romantic partners much easier for both of you

additionally, as her closest friend you were already gamora’s confidant — so trusted that you were the first one she came to about any and all fears and concerns and frustrations with the rest of the group, so trusted that she’d often reconsider her stance and approach if you advised her against it, so trusted that you were the one she’d seek out when she was more sober than she wanted to admit in order to vent about the difficulties she’d faced in her life before meeting you all, and likewise she was the one you’d go to for all the same reasons — and consequently you entered your relationship without any secrets left to keep and felt no need to hide anything from each other going forward because of this established routine (after all, why would you change what isn’t broken?)

the shift from strictly platonic teammates and (in quill’s words) besties to romantic lovers and bedmates would have been extremely slow — slow enough that neither of you would be able to, in hindsight, point to an exact moment or timeframe where things felt noticeably different — and would have felt so natural that there wasn’t really an awkward crushing phase for you both to experience because you didn’t even notice the shift happening until you were well and truly on the other side of it

it wasn’t as if one day you were just friends and the next you were kissing. no. more like you both continued to get closer and touchier and more relaxed around each other as time went on and gamora got used to casual physical intimacy until one day you just looked at each other, realised something had changed, and quietly acknowledged it without saying anything or putting a label on it because it just felt right

you never called her your girlfriend, but she was the person you’d give your life to protect

she never claimed you as her lover, but you were the person she couldn’t bare to lose

you never said that she was more than a friend, but you were always at your happiest and most relaxed when she was safe by your side

she never announced that you were dating, but she was always quick to scare off and threaten anyone who tried to flirt with you when you were out and about as a group

neither of you cared about naming what was between you because all that mattered was how you both felt, but everyone else knew that you two cared deeply and intimately for each other and were generally just happy for you both

but that didn’t mean that the other guardians didn’t (often very crudely) tease the living hell out of you both when one of you emerged looking exhausted from the other’s bunk or when they caught gamora admiring you from across the room, and it certainly didn’t stop nebula from picking up on her sister’s feelings and very bluntly interrogating you both about your relationship after she joined your ragtag travelling group

[tamamatango]

Unplanned character analysis I should’ve saved for 6/23 but I need instant gratification whenever I have a thought or I explode

Sup nerds, thanks for reading my master’s thesis completely overanalyzing what literal scraps we have in relation to the new anime. Unfortunately no updates yet on that front but I’m starting to go a little Cuckoo For Cocoa Puffs in anticipation so fingers crossed they drop something soonish. I have a couple of longer form posts in my back pocket that may or may not happen in a nearish timeframe, we’ll see what I get around to.

I was going to not do any more posts until one of those materializes but I’m detouring from that for a bit because I had an epiphany about Saburo now that I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this series again. Those if you who know me and/or were around for when I was most active here know he is my favorite character behind Kururu and that’s still true. So here’s like. A reading of him that I think completely changes the way you will look at this character. If you don’t see him like this already.

Saburo(/Mutsumi since this goes equally for the manga side) is not actually cool. Like this kid is totally cringe and a weirdo right. Literally thinks of the most unnecessarily extra solutions to things, wardrobe that gets increasingly bizarre over time, writes poetry that is usually either obnoxiously cheesy or just doesn’t make any sense. Spends his free time doing stuff like talking to cats and collecting shitty kids’ meal toys. His drawings aren’t even that good most of the time. Unironically Momoka has more swag than Saburo does (granted Momoka has more swag than most characters but that’s besides the point). Yes he is a super genius and athletically gifted and conventionally attractive to other people his age, and (for manga Mutsumi only) it’s later implied he was modified by the N326 in some way. But here’s the thing—a lot of his peers either think he’s a smarmy ass show-off little shit (manga) or just completely inaccessible to the average person so why bother (anime).

The reason why he’s such a celebrity is because the only people who think he is really cool are children and preteen girls (and secretly Giroro but the whole reason that’s a funny joke is because Saburo is totally not appealing to adults at all let alone hardened super serious soldiers). But this is a very profitable and exploitable audience so he is really successful. He is the equivalent of a Disney Channel teen star. He’s like what Justin Bieber was in 2010 or whenever. In the manga Mutsumi gladly eats up this attention, but the anime pretty heavily implies especially toward the (until this year tee hee) end of the series that Saburo kinda dislikes being under the celebrity microscope and having producers who want to milk their child star as much as possible; he just wants to create and entertain and express himself freely which is why he does everything anonymously.

I think the anime tried a little too hard to make him unironically cool and my guess is that this is for a couple reasons. One, he has Akira Ishida’s voice coming out of him which yes was obviously chosen primarily because lol Kaworu but also his voice is just inherently associated with “we want you to think this character is a mysterious ikemen” most of the time. Two, compared to the manga there’s a lot more fillery stuff revolving around Natsumi idolizing him and because so much of the show is from Natsumi’s perspective, that’s the perspective the viewers (who were also intended to be children then, though I think now that it’s a 20 year old series they’re going more for the nostalgic adult audience) get as well. Don’t get me wrong though the VERY few serious moments he had were fantastic, 229 best episode movie 3 best movie etc etc.

You could also argue Kururu thinks Saburo is “cool” but I think he respects him more in the way that he’s kinda like him but younger so they understand each other intrinsically and that makes Saburo more reliable in fulfilling Kururu’s specific needs than most other characters. Saburo’s a lot kinder ostensibly but unlike the rest of the cast, who recoils at Kururu’s mannerisms and psychological torment of everyone, Saburo usually just thinks it’s funny. Kururu is much of a freak as he is but is very particular about his image and actively micromanages almost every aspect of his personality to get people to see him a certain way and avoid showing too many of his vulnerabilities (it’s all but confirmed in the anime that his entire cadence and vocal tics are an elaborate act and his normal voice is totally different). We don’t see it much on screen but it seems he can kinda relax a bit around Saburo who himself is totally out there but in a more genuine and unabashed way, like even in the anime where the radio persona is a secret it’s not like he acts that much differently on the air than he does in his personal life. Besides maybe the early manga Kururu is not really a romantic and probably thinks Saburo’s sappy wappy poetry is cringe too, but he likes Saburo enough that he supports him being himself no matter what bullshit that entails (besides getting himself killed of course). Sorry had to shoehorn best partners talk for a bit longtime Kirb readers know how it is.

So there is actually a specific thing that made me decide let’s do a fucking character analysis for the first time in like 5 years or something, and that’s that I was browsing through raws of the one 4koma book I don’t physically own (shoutout to @kagender for those scans along with some other cool stuff like Keroro Land issues, storyboards and ref sheets!), and it was these strips:

This is a 4koma series in which Meru and Maru from Movie 2 hang around with the main cast for funny shenanigans. Not super relevant because these two strips don’t have them pictured but anyways. They’re having a beach day and Natsumi runs into Saburo who is there to “surf” but actually there are no real waves and he is just pretending. Because he’s copying the 1978 film Big Wednesday (it is Sunday in the comic). In other words teenager larps because he saw it in an old movie once. I know this is not really a pertinent example because the Keroro Land 4komas are all very silly and non-canon (a lot of the artists are actually former doujin artists) but look. This is peak, okay. This is my ideal Saburo outside of serious scenarios. I’ve seen the vision.

I swore I was gonna make this a short post but it’s not I guess. Can’t resist turning these into goddamn essays. So to wrap it up: Saburo is some dorky kid who thinks he’s way more of a hotshot than he really is and totally owns it with no shame. This is adorable. I will defend him with my life. I need Anikero The New to agree with me here. In like 85% of cases I prefer the anime’s takes on everything but Yoshizaki cooked with the ideas behind this guy so listen to word of god. Give us more Silly Saburo. The TikTok teenagers of today deserve this representation.