#so i like to think that eventually the house of mystery does end up in his hands!

[talentforlying]

currently the house of mystery is only canon in his JLD verse but i gotta say, the symbolism of giving john constantine ownership of the house of cain, with all his family hang-ups? chef's fucking kiss for that one.

i do like to think that he ends up owning the house of mystery eventually in the main verse, because it would be an eventual solution to his endlessly unstable housing situation and i think he'd breathe a lot easier if he had a sanctum of a sort, but it definitely takes a while to come into his hands. post-hellblazer, pre-sandman universe presents in timeline speak. the man is 70, he deserves some interdimensional storage space and a reliable ("reliable") place to sleep.

[rhenuvee]

Playing Animal Crossing New Horizons with HSR Men

Warnings: ugly villager slander, established relationship (can be platonic or romantic)

──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────

Argenti: Your fellow knight of beauty grows quite fond of the game, immediately finding the freedom of creativity in decoration endearing. He always gives you compliments on your OOTD, and takes screenshots whenever you design a new area on your island. Argenti gave himself the gardening job- spending his bells on red rose seeds. He gets proficient in following the flower guide, and is very proud of himself if he ever gets a golden rose on your island. He loves the villagers, finding them each very cute, and even beauty in the "ugly" villagers. "Did you see the villagers wearing the red rose on their head? I must say I am flattered they love it so much. Though, I am more happy that they appreciate the beauty of our island." He enjoys documenting the beautiful places in your island with photos <3

Aventurine: From the beginning he points out the fact that Tom Nook is a capitalist, which makes you roll your eyes thinking he thinks this game is silly. However, it is quite the opposite as it doesn't take him long to get out of his home loan debt and is somehow extremely lucky. It's unfair to you that he could just log in on any given day and have the best deal for turnips. However because you are his favourite he says he’s willing to buy you whatever you want, he guesses. He happens to be able to catch rare species like the Coelacanth, and it infuriates you but you really can't be if it's helping the museum. "445 bells per turnip, sounds like music to my ears~" "What's that? You want this violin? Well I guess I could spare you a few bells... is one million okay?"

Blade: Let's not kid ourselves here- it takes a lot of convincing and help from Silver Wolf to get him to even be in the presence of Animal Crossing. He says he would much rather stand and look at the wall (SW: "You already do that everyday"). Eventually he sits himself next to you, and listens to your giddy rambling about what to do in the game while he puts on a serious face not saying anything. After the preliminary tutorial/startup gameplay, he finally says, “…why is this rat harassing me for money.” However, the loans aren't the worst but the villagers chasing him down are. He purposely ignores them and grumbles when you tell him to answer ):/. He prefers to watch you play, but because he sees you smile and laugh at his sarcastic comments, he thinks it's not so bad.

Boothill: He's definitely down to try it out, but he ends up being a bit of a troll. He doesn't really mind cute/ugly villagers, until he judges them for what they say. “That’s right, (y/n) did catch all those fish.” “Did he just ask me if he could call me Muffin.” “WHAT DO YOU MEAN I GOTTA PAY ANOTHER LOAN?!!?” Yeah… he quickly feels the grindy-ness, complaining that Tom Nook was working him like a forkin’ dog. A little bit of comical rage, but he won’t lie he is enjoying it. He also asks if there are any guns and he is disappointed, so he opts for the net. He's a little rough and rowdy, but he does it in style. That being said, he 100% spends his extra bells on a cowboy outfit.

Dan Heng: He agrees instantly- aw :(. He knows you (and March) have been begging him to play. He’s is fairly good at it- gets out of the tent quickly, masters catching creatures, a nicely organized house… He’s quite resourceful too, chopping down trees and going to mystery islands to farm the heck out of it. The villagers love him, both of you often seeing them run to him with the little sparkly flowers. And even though he's normally serious, you can't help but fawn over how sweet he is with the villagers. "...She wants to call me Shmoopy, do I-" "YES." Villagers asking him to catch a fish? He's immediately on it. He remembers their names and treats them like real people :(

Dr. Ratio: "Is it educational?" Bro is such a nerd. You deadpan at him, and sass him for expecting this to be IXL or something. He is also one to get through the tutorial part easily. You expected him to be overly critical of the game, but he finds appreciation in the museum: both the creatures and the art. Is it a farfetched idea that I think he'd know how to tell the reals and fakes right off the bat? "Do you really think Da Vinci spilled coffee on his work?" At least it saves you the troubles of wasting your bells and getting a fake. I think your island would not be a mess, and would have at least a few statues (you know the ones) which add his touch to it.

Gallagher: Honestly he's happy as long as he gets a little area for himself. Kind of a wild card this one- somehow calm and chaotic at the same time, and it's puzzling because how is he doing such weird things with a straight face? Trolls the villagers quite a bit (he's lucky ACNH villagers are nice) by hitting them with a net (just once though) and giving them different catchphrases every time they ask. "Why is Bob saying 'spaghettini' at the end of his sentences?" "Um, because I thought it'd be funny? Also I'm kinda hungry so-" "Gallagher ):/" Despite the randomness, he is wholesome at times. He is also one to compliment your new outfit, and stargaze with you on the new area you decorated.

Gepard: He's busy so you weren't expecting too much from him, but he takes pride in having a well-rounded island. He gets so excited when he catches a new species that you don't have yet- what a cutie. Also goes full throttle when there's a bug-off or fishing tourney. Despite being a video game, I feel like there will be some way he messes up taking care of plants. The flowers overgrow, the turnips rot, and he doesn't understand why the trees aren't growing? But with some tips from you along with your island designing skills, your island rank moves up and he is BEAMING. "Zucker asked about you." "...he did?" "Mhm, he asked how you were doing, and said he saw you laying out pathways on the island."

Jing Yuan: He finds it so cute when you ask him to play. Lowkey like Blade where he likes watching your happy expressions when playing. He's happy that this game provides him a way to relax while not getting bored. Secretly an enjoyer of villager drama: "Wolfgang wants to apologize to Audie with this present. What happens if I don't deliver it?" "Again? Ah, just give it to her quickly." "...what if I don't." "...Jing Yuan." Oddly I feel like he'd enjoy the group stretching (what an old man), and encourages you to join. Like the "Dozing General" he is, there will be times when he's inactive and gets the bed head.

Luocha: You weren't expecting him to enjoy the game, but he's surprisingly willing to be resourceful. His storage is full of materials, which you scold him for because this is the reason for his empty undecorated house. But he always has things you need so you can't exactly complain. Also one to be pretty smart with managing bells and resources, able to maximize their worth. When the island gets visitors like Label or Flick, he has items ready. "Luocha... where did you get that coat?" "This? It's a designer piece, from Miss Label." I'd say he does have a sense of beauty in design, so thankfully your island is gorgeous.

Sampo: Sympathizes with Redd like a true scammer. "Aw look, he just needs a bit of money to get started... he even gave us a 'cousin's discount'." However, a rivalry starts with Redd when Sampo's first art piece turned out to be fake (scammer gets scammed moment). He asks if he can be the salesman that he's supposed to be. When villagers run up to him to offer bells for an item he has, he accepts thinking it'll get him a deal along the way. Unfortunately friendship gets you nowhere in terms of home loans. I'd say he's pretty good with the turnip stonks, so there's a balance. Also TRASH ISLAND. I'm sorry, but your man is a hoarder, "But what if I need this?" (Literally me.)

Welt: When you ask him to play he asks why the animals are crossing. He finds the style and characters are so cute, and he can see why you enjoy it. This is definitely a way he gets in touch with his "youthful" side. He loves the creative freedom in the game, even getting indecisive about how to design your island, and thinking of what outfit to wear. He once made a simple t-shirt for fun, but was surprised when he saw a villager wearing it. It'd be so cute and funny when he learns new emotes- and he just spams them with a straight face. Not gameplay related, but I feel like in his free time he'd draw you both in villager form <3.

──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────

[vityaposting]

WRITING REQUEST HIII

what about reader going to viktor to get augmented for a non physical reason - like maybe mental illness or addiction or something (idk dealers choice) and viktor slowly getting to know them over time. eventually reader overcomes their problem, and viktor realises that he likes reader just the way they are - unaugmented or not.

don't feel obligated to do this lol just saw that your requests where open

HI!!!! i love this request so much i decided it needs to be a multi chapter thing (4 or 5 probably?) i got broken up with yesterday so i ATE this prompt up lol

how to heal a rusted heart - mh!viktor x gn!reader - part 1

wc: 2100

You approach Emberflit Alley with no small amount of trepidation. The house is smaller than you expected, shoddier on the outside; shutters hang from foggy, cracked windows, and ivy like claw-scratches makes its way up the worn brick walls. You know—as does every Zaunite you’ve ever met—that there is more to the Machine Herald’s residence than meets the eye. You don’t know exactly how—somewhere, some way, there is a massive laboratory tucked behind the house’s unassuming facade. Maybe a separate underground sector, or even a pocket dimension supplied by the Herald’s knowledge of thinning the barrier between tech and magic. All these speculations are, of course, rumors—you’ve never had a reason to solve the mystery yourself. Until today. Today, you’d snapped.

Your chest still burns with the fury of it all. Betrayal. And to think they’d claimed to love you. Sickly-sweet self-satisfaction rises like bile to the back of your throat, putting a little more power behind your knock on the door. You’d been right. Paranoia, your doctor had proclaimed years ago—a not-uncommon symptom of your particular ailment. Well, was it true paranoia if you were always proven right in the end?

It doesn’t matter. After tonight, you won’t care.

A thickly-accented voice cuts through the speaker above the knocker: “You may enter.”

Ominous. You push away your trepidation, another instinct you’d be free of sooner rather than later. The door is heavy steel—you have to use your shoulder to pry it open, but once you’ve managed its weight, it swings inward for you on well-oiled hinges.

You emerge into a wide space thick with the stenches of metal and oil, cast under an ambient glow in various shades of orange. Lights flicker at you from lanterns on the walls, from faint bulbs hung across the ceiling. A lab bench spans the entire length of the room, which seems impossibly large compared to the house’s outer facade. A pocket dimension it is, then. Maybe. You still can’t be sure. The equipment littered across the bench is foreign and complex-looking.

The whistle of steam and clicking of gears greets you before the Herald himself can.

He’s tinkering with something. Something sharp. He sets it down, turns on his stool, lowers his hood and pushes his goggles onto his forehead. You aren’t quite sure what you expected the Machine Herald to look like under his armor and mask. If he even takes them off at all. Whatever you expected, this isn’t it.

“Good evening,” he says levelly. His voice rumbles in his throat, his accent lending the greeting a soft, alluring quality. He tilts his head, an oddly innocent gesture, considering his reputation. “With what can I be of service?”

The words you’ve been rehearsing for hours lodge themself in your throat, and even a heavy swallow can’t force them out. The Herald is unblinking. Molten orange pupils burn into yours, piercing against his dark scleras. His face is pale and his features sharp—he’s beautiful, you note, not completely willingly—and his frame is thin and willowy beneath his cloak.

“Well?” he prompts, and shame floods you, reminding you why you decided to take measures this drastic in the first place. “Nobody comes this deep into the Lanes just to visit me. Not to say I mind the solitude.”

He doesn’t want you here.

You’re here for a service, scolds the rational side of your mind, a side which seems to grow more and more powerless with every passing week, with every friend you lose, with every burst of rage and every bridge you burn. A service he openly advertises. He allowed you to open the door. He could have… have death-rayed you.

“Mister… Machine Herald,” you begin, horrendously embarrassed at how your voice quavers. The air in the lab is muggy. You wrap your arms around your middle anyway. “I’ve heard of the… the services you provide, and I—”

“Viktor,” he interrupts. “Viktor will suffice.”

You cough. His eyes narrow.

“Go on. You seek augmentation.”

“Of the… unconventional variety, I guess you could say. Less of a physical augmentation and more of a…”

“You are at war with your own mind,” he observes. “I can see it in your eyes. Come closer.”

And you do, because there’s something in the rumble of his voice—which is so close to a growl you feel weak in the knees—and the sharp glow of his eyes that draws you in like a moth to a lantern. He gestures to the second stool at his side. You wonder who it’s normally reserved for. Patients? Experimental subjects? A partner, perhaps—or has he always only worked alone?

“You’re tense. Relax.” He speaks with such calm authority that it’s impossible not to listen. “I will not touch you without explicit permission. If it’s only emotional suppression you seek, I may be able to offer a solution that does not require me to lay hands on you.”

You don’t know why this disappoints you.

He tilts his head as he gazes at you, one gloved hand fidgeting with a trinket on his workbench. “Tell me. In detail. What is it you want out of this? What causes you such pain?”

“Everything,” you say. It’s almost a whimper. He raises an eyebrow. Clearing the embarrassment from your throat, you try again. “Everything is… is so much. I’m scared. All the time. I can’t love anyone anymore, I… I’m afraid they’ll all leave me.” Oftentimes, they do, you neglect to add. This won’t concern Viktor. He has no reason to care. “And it can change on a coin. It’s like you said. It’s like being at war.” A war between your body and your brain, you’ve realized, would never be one worth fighting. This, however, seems to be the only way to put an end to things. You look at Viktor plaintively, hoping he isn’t judging. If the rumors are true, he removed his ability to judge long ago.

“Ah,” he said after a silence that seemed to stretch for eons. “I understand.”

“My doctor says it’s an… ailment.”

“That may be,” he says. “As such, you have a right to want to heal it. Procedures with the intent to alter emotions are harder and riskier than procedures focused on the physical. I am happy to give you what you ask for, but you must be aware of the potential consequences. Do you intend to eliminate all emotions, or… only their extremities?”

“Only the extremities.” Life will be much easier, you think, if you never have to love another person again. Amicable acquaintanceship, however, hurts nobody.

“Good,” he hums. “Complete removal is difficult. If I weren’t so stubborn I’d nearly say it was impossible.”

“How do you know?”

“I tried,” he says plainly.

“And you failed?” You don’t know what emboldens you to say it.

“I simply have not yet succeeded.”

You look at him, then, really look at him. And behind those beautiful eyes that glow with the light of a hundred fires, shine with the darkness of a hundred polluted Zaun nights, you almost swear you see your own loneliness staring back at you.

“It’s risky,” he continues. “In the case that something goes awry, do not say I didn’t warn you.”

“Of course,” you whisper.

“May I take a closer look? I’d like to get a feel for the incision site.”

You nod a silent confirmation and bow your head, gripping the sides of the stool. He wheels himself closer. Lifts his hand. You hold your breath.

The Herald’s hands are gentle when they card through your hair, pushing a few strands away from your forehead. His demeanor now is a far cry from the terrifying villain you know him to be—the chaos-wreaking force of evil most of Zaun insists he is. You wonder, as your breathing calms, exactly how many of the tales are wild fantasy, because this soft touch is the realest thing you've felt in a long, long time.

“All I can promise you is that I will be careful,” he murmurs, tracing a line from the center of your forehead to the crown of your hair. “This particular procedure is immensely detail-oriented, even in comparison to the others I’ve performed. To dampen your emotions, I will be altering your limbic system, in the simplest of terms. However, if I am not meticulous, I risk damaging other functions, such as reasoning or memory.”

Truth be told, waking up without any memory of the hurt you’ve endured doesn’t sound too awful.

But, you realize as a shiver runs down your spine—you want to remember this.

“There is another option,” Viktor goes on. You’re forced to draw your attention away from his soft, prodding touches. “Implants in the form of pills. Those, however, I’ve not yet managed to make permanent. They’re finicky, and they don’t last long. You’d have to take them twice a day—one separate medication for each emotion you wish to suppress. I imagine it would all be a hassle. This, however… if you consent, I can perform the entire procedure in one process, and your desired results will be immediate.” He draws his hand back, lightly scratching your scalp—it’s enough to relax, but not enough to hurt. “You don’t have to decide today.”

“No, no. That’s alright. I’ll take the… the surgery.”

“If you’re sure.”

“I am.”

Finality settles over you like a chilly breeze as he pulls away. You’ll finally be free. Free of heartbreak, of fury, of flaws. There’s something in his mechanical gaze that unnerves you and enthralls you simultaneously. Something human.

“Being that this is a complicated procedure,” he says, “I will have to schedule it in advance. I will reserve an entire day for you and I cannot free the time for a week. A week from today. Is that alright with you? I can give you the medication to temporarily curb your symptoms in the meantime, if you like. It’s experimental, but I am relatively sure of its safety.”

He looks so hopeful. You know the joy etched in the lines of his sharp face is nothing more than the joy of scientific innovation, but it’s endearing all the same. The Machine Herald of Zaun’s urban legends is a completely different person. You find it hard to believe that the cackling, murderous tyrant rumored to haunt the Lanes even shares a name with the man in front of you. There’s a hint of a smile at the corners of his mouth, and a few locks of hair sticking up haphazardly from beneath his goggles. You find yourself cracking a grin for the first time in days.

“No,” you say. Your chest feels lighter. Just a bit. Enough to be noticeable, enough to instill the certainty that trusting your life to the Herald is the right decision—malicious cackle, terrifying armor, death laser, and all. “No, I’ll be alright.”

He crosses his arms over his lap. “You don’t have to tell me what happened,” he says softly. “But the ache in your heart… someone put it there. I know the feeling. You are not the first to be driven away from loving altogether. I once thought I had a simple fix. I… do not know if it was the foolproof solution I thought it was. I will perform any procedure on you that you wish. But you should know this. Metal is perfection, yes, but love… love can rust the strongest steel.” He swallows, fiery eyes flickering. “I thought I’d warn you. However, I do my best for all my patients, and you are no exception.”

You’re quiet for a long moment. You’re grateful for the lab’s low lighting—it’s unlikely Viktor can see the blush crawling up your neck. “I—thank you.”

“Do you still want this? Even considering the risk?”

He looks at you so softly. He must look at everyone that softly, you realize, but the knowledge doesn’t make you feel any less warm. “Yeah.”

He gives you a businesslike nod, and you can see the Machine Herald’s persona sliding back into place. Cold. Unfeeling. For a moment, though, you saw the truth. “Thank you. I will see you one week from today—be here as early in the morning as you please. I’ll walk you out. Be safe out there. I can only complete the procedure if you return to me in one piece.”

What a gentleman, you think, but you say nothing. You accept with a small smile.

His hand brushes your shoulder as you reach for the handle of the door. Your whole body sparks, as if you’re a machine already.

“Goodbye,” he says. “And best of luck. I will pray that the next week treats you kindly.”

You almost want to hug him goodbye—out of thanks if nothing else. You hold yourself back. “I’ll see you then.”

The last thing you see before the door shuts behind you are his eyes. Two pinpricks of light in the darkness of the Lanes. Mechanical though they are, you realize they still crinkle at the corners when he smiles.

[struwberrii]

haikyuu!! halloween headcanons 🕸 ｡𖦹°‧

here are some silly headcanons on how i think haikyuu characters would spend their halloween and what costumes they’d wear :3 (feel free 2 leave ur hcs in comments i love halloween + i wanna hear what u guys think lol 🎃)

pt. 1 here :3

characters: suna, akaashi, atsumu, kenma, tendou, iwaizumi

suna

probably doesn’t get too creative with his costumes, ends up going as like batman or spider man

brings you with him when he takes his little sister trick or treating so you guys can get free candy

doesn’t stay out too late because he gets bored and cold

you guys all sit at the dinner table trading candy while listening to music later on

the night would probably end with you and his friends hanging out at his house and ordering a pizza while watching ‘scary’ movies

(you’re all just poking fun at the movies for how predictable they are though)

akaashi

probably just shows up in a black t shirt and black jeans tbh

lets you do skeleton makeup on him though

you guys go to a festival and play a murder mystery

he keeps freaking everyone out by telling scary stories that are oddly realistic and descriptive, he sends bokuto home shaking in fear

doesn’t get a lot of candy but does eat the baked goods they offer and enjoys a caramel apple

he’s your groups designated photographer

atsumu

tries to match with osamu by dressing as eachother but samu says no then ends up being tsumu anyway

dresses as like patrick bateman or something and he TRIES not to break character character all night but he’s too unserious

chases samu with an axe at least twice that night

tries to talk vendors into giving him a little more than whatever they gave samu but gets rejected almost everytime

sometimes they purposely give him less food just because he asked 😭

tries to scare/prank people but he laughs to soon and blows his cover

somehow ends up with the most candy/trinkets and brags about it

kenma

kuroo literally had to drag him out the house and kenma did NOT come out without a fight (literally clawing at the walls bro did NOT want to be at that festival)

he was given animal ears as his costume but he’s rocking sweats

complains all night

eventually gets someone to give him a ride on their back while he plays his game

his mood drastically lightens when kuroo brings him a slice of apple pie

takes the ugliest pictures of his friends when they’re caught off guard and randomly sends it to their groupchat later on

tendou

tries to be scary but ends up going as chucky (yk that doll with the red hair)

literally chases his teammates around and scares them all night

pulls the best pranks like someone def ended up pissing their pants (it was probably goshiki)

also tells scary stories, while shirabu is picking at holes in the plot of his story 😭

forces ushijima to come out in costume too despite ushijima not being very interested in the holiday

he def goes crazy apple bobbing, he gets DOWN.

iwaizumi

doesn’t dress up but still goes out to a festival with his friends

probably wins you some huge stuffed animal but ends up carrying it around for you since it’s too big

i imagine it being like a giant homer simpson too 😭

oikawa tries scaring him but iwa ends up being the one chasing oikawa

tries a little bit of all the snacks they have to offer there

ends up spending most of the night watching other peoples kids and helping them get out of bounce houses

[doe-core]

INFODUMPING ABOUT JOHN DOE<3

Regular guys are fully grown and were never children

His species is a regular guy (hair ball)

He likes burgers

He doesn’t like sweet things, but would eat anything you made him

He prefers bitter stuff

His favorite snack is teeth

His likes include you, teeth, eyes, baby rats, television, and static

His dislikes are under stimulation, being alone, “That Guy”, You ignoring him, and baths

He is afraid of water (reason being that regular guys have to swim through large bodies of water in order to escape the motherball which causes a fear of water in a lot of regular guys)

Doe nearly drowned in the river when escaping the motherball, which is why he’s afraid of water

Regular guys don’t need to take baths. If their fake body needs to be cleaned, they will simply eat it and reform it again!!

His fake body will melt if it touches water, but his actual body (hair ball) won’t die, it will just be very painful and traumatic

He feels through his hair which means that he doesn’t like combing his hair, tieing it up, and cutting his hair is the equivalent to cutting off limb

He has many teeth

He has the power to manipulate reality and get “You” to say and do anything he wants, as shown in ending 4 “Yes”

He is gender-fluid, bisexual and goes by any pronouns. “His gender is just as mysterious as he is!!”

He has no organs or bones, but he can create them if you wish!

He eats materials to make up his fake body. Harder materials lead to a harder form, as softer materials make his body softer. His form also can freeze in extreme cold and melt in extreme heat

He is around 20-40 years old (Regular guys are already grown when made)

Regular guys produce asexually

They are classified as pests due to how fast they spread

Doe’s IQ is slightly higher than the average in uncanny valley, but slightly lower in the human realm

Doe’s scars are not due to him being “sad”, they are a kink/reminder

The reason he can feel is because strands of hair are spread throughout his body

His hairball form is 2 ft tall

Cartoon physics apply to him and he is described to move like a claymation figure

His voice claim is Weird Al and Fox (the creator) stated that “his voice sounds like when someone is talking to you in a dream and you forget how it sounded”

He states that creating 2 eyes is difficult and it can cause him to have blurred vision, but “he will do it if you think it will make him perfect”

Even though he is a sexually active adult, that is not his main goal. He strives for genuine connections and affection

His shirt changes based on how he’s feeling and it can say words or have pictures!

He doesn’t have pain receptors, so he didnt know that stabbing you in ending 2 would hurt you

He slightly pefers taller and bigger partners because it makes him feel protected, but he will love you no matter what!! He will love you no matter what body type you are!!

He leaves you a gift no matter the ending (ex. even when doe loses interest in ending 3, he still leaves you a parting gift)

He is a sadistic masochist

His interest increases when you choose to not take a shower (he prefers your natural scent)

He also likes to scare you because “you’re cute when you’re scared” :3

If you were to kiss him, he would be very happy and his reality will reflect that!!

Everything about you is appealing to him. EVERYTHING. When he is in love, it is HARD to make him fall out of love, but if you are firm enough with him, he will eventually take the hint.

Doe is a hoarder and is hinted to be very messy. If you had baked him something, (ex. cake, cookies, etc.) he would ether eat it, or keep it in his endless pile of shit <3

Speaking of which, he will most likely lose you in his house :p

He’s not rlly good with comforting people with depression, but he will try his best!! He will give you all the reassurance you need by giving you “gifts”,(i use that word very lightly) affection, and watching tv with you!!

He repeats words to emphasize how he’s feeling!! (ex. “I just love love love you!!”)

He loves the feeling of static from when you lick vintage television (whatever the fuck that means 😭)

Though, he doesn’t need to blink and only blinks when he wants to, when he does blink, it sounds like something else. (ex. car crash, glass breaking, screaming, metal clanking together, etc.)

His birthday is November 35th!! (people celebrate it on the 5th of december!)

He behaves like he’s in a cartoon and can be a little slow… (in a loveable way ofc)

He’s allergic to pollen and certain types of flowers </3

He’s also more prone to abdominal pain and nausea;(

Even though he is odd, he is NOT the creepiest creature in the valley

If doe were an animal, he would be a Bullet Dog or a Bark Cat <3

If you were to die, he wouldn’t notice it right away *_*

Doe likes the classic series!!

If you try to comb his hair, his hair WILL absorb it

He watches you sleep :3

He has no ears ^.^

He can drink anything as thick or thicker than oil or blood!

His favorite colors are bright red and burnt orange

He LOVES insects!!

He has no blood and he is naturally hard as clay

Speaking of clay, he doesn’t smell bad or good, he smells like clay or wet rain.

He feeds birds when he’s lonely in the valley 🥲💕

He can’t cry, but he can melt and whine as if he were crying

He is a demonic entity (good luck, buddy!)

Because regular guys reproduce asexually, he can create a mini doe!!

He has no friends or family (besides you ofc <3)

He’s goth but he doesn’t know it >_<

He is 5’8 :3

He weighs 50 kilograms!! (110lbs)

His skin is uncomfortably warm to the touch

If you ever tried to stab him, the knife would get sucked into him and would reappear in his hand.

He does not taste good! His fake body has no nutritional value and in fact REMOVES nutrition from yours!!

It’s hard for him to close his mouth lol

You meet him in House Hunted 2, then see him in HH 1, then finally in the John Doe game!

Idk if I said this, but his nails are naturally black and his teeth are naturally yellow <3

He doesn’t know how to wear his jacket properly

Idk if this is true, but his scars may represent how many times he’s tried to get with you-

If he got piercings, they would melt into his body within 20 minutes 😭

He can express sadness, but not in the way others can

His voice would probably be really deep in the middle of the game

When it’s his birthday, streamers and balloons randomly appear in his house and he celebrates it with his meat effigy of You!

Although he’s not the most dangerous thing in uncanny valley, he’s very hard to kill.

Things he finds cute: Everything “You” does, when “You” is scared, baby rats before they grow hair, heartbeats, and eye contact <3

His favorite candy would be hard candy (or glass 😭)

His hair is slick and uncomfortably warm

Saying “I love you” is his way of flirting

He’s not mentally ill, it’s just the way he acts

He will talk to you about his favorite shows

If he gets to eat you, he sees it as a bonus <3

If you were upset, he would stare at you, call you cute, and wrap his hair around you

He would never hurt you out of strong negative emotions 🥩🖤

He has many rows of teeth that are just collected teeth to try to mimic a human smile

He would never hurt an animal, but they’re scared of him :(

He pefers eating things raw <3

His tongue looks like a lil heart in his mouth, but it’s very long

Whenever he uses human like materials for his body, he looks a lot older and crusty, so he consumes things like metal to create a cleaner body

He stops smiling when someone makes him mad or upset

He has many outfits, but his main outfit is his favorite

He’s a stalker, but not an insane stalker

He weights about 2.5 pounds in his hairball form

He doesn’t have a belly button

He hates Maison Talo because he gets too close to the MC

regular guys are actually pretty clean and they don’t need to bathe! if his human body does get too dirty, he will eat it and craft it over again, but if his hairball body gets dirty, he can take a dust bath! regular guys usually tend to each others hygienic needs too!

The creator stated that they see doe as "trans in representation," but they want their fanbase to have fun and make him whatever they want him to be!

If doe were on a boat, would he get sea sick? The answer is no, but he would be extremely terrified.

He has no preference for the gender of his partner, so he could be considered Pan or canonically, Bisexual.

John doe can drive! Here’s his license:

[the-s1lly-corner]

AAAAA

TDAC X PUPPET!READER

Hear me out

Reader is like puppet from fnaf, their character being very similar to puppet, them having the same voice and powers? Yknow Puppet flies fast as HELL and etc, Reader most of the time stays in the music box, and just gets out when really wanted or needed, for example: when theres an IHA or when someone needs them for something.

TADC x puppet!reader !

ashamed to admit this but i have not touched fnaf outside of security breach, recently at least. the last time i was fully invested in the fnaf lore was when fnaf 4 had just dropped, so im quite literally relying off of your description like its a life line because i know how insane fnaf lore has gotten think imma answer this request then take another short break since my lower back is starting to get sore from sitting all day; gotta go stretch my legs too

CAINE:

you do have your own room, of course, but you tend to usually stay in your music box; of which you came with when you first entered the digital world... which was a little odd, but hey its not the strangest thing that anyone here has seen! i like to think that sometimes caine comes to your box at night and tries to will you out so he can get to know you more. leave it to the ai to fall for the mysterious circus member who rarely leaves their box... i think sometimes he would hum and sing along to the music your box makes

POMNI:

the first time you rush out of your music box it takes her off guard, almost making her fall off her feet when you dash right by her to do... whatever was required of you at that moment in time. if she were being honest, she didnt think you were a real person, she had always assumed that you were an npc; it wasnt unheard of that caine would have npcs stationed about for in house adventures, or to man the carnival..! though i dont think she would interact much with you, considering you rarely interact with the others; what use would it be to pester you?

JAX:

honestly before realizing you literally live and sleep and mostly exist in the music box, he probably puts stuff on top of your box... accidentally trapping you inside it. well, actually trapping wouldnt be accurate because you ended up brute forcing your way out, literally sending everything that was on top of the box flying; scaring just about everyone in the room. imagine trying to find out whos faster; you or jax.. i mean, have you seen how fast jax bolted when they found out koufmo abstracted?

RAGATHA:

always tries to ask you if you want to join in on the in house adventure, she doesnt want you to feel left out or unwelcome; even though most times you willingly back out of the activity. though, she feels relieved and even smiles when you spring out of your box to join in on the action... at least she knows you havent abstracted... brain stimulation is important, you know!

KINGER:

he finds some comfort in the music, slowly but surely as the days pass he moves his pillow fort closer and closer to your box before eventually hes right next to you. sometimes even naps, leaning against it. though he does immediately scamper off when you suddenly lunge out to race towards whoever is calling for you. at least he can count on you to have his back in moments of danger or fear!

ZOOBLE:

usually stays in their own lane, but for one reason or another they need help during an IHA, and their yelps and incoherent speech was enough to catch your attention. be it gloink or otherwise, you obliterate the problem; effectively haunting zooble for the rest of their life by your actions... but hey, it feels... nice, having someone you can rely on

GANGLE:

character who is soft spoken and shy meets character that rarely leaves their box when its not needed or necessary; how could a relationship, romantic or otherwise, be fostered in conditions such as this? oddly enough, the silence between you two brings you together, the music keeping the silence from becoming overwhelming. i like to think that sometimes gangle leaves you little notes, choosing to write rather than verbally speak... best not to ruin that special quiet the two of you have learned to share

[torukmaktoskxawng]

Hey I was wondering if I could make the request of an Aonung x human reader who has a bunch of norse tattoos and he's curious about them?

(Adult Ao'nung by @cinetrix2)

Pairing: Ao'nung/Human!Reader (can be seen as platonic)

Warnings: Cute. Fluff. Aged-up characters. Reader can be seen as gender-neutral since gender is not mentioned.

Taglist: @mooniequeen @avatar-lover @taronyuhunter @alinacecee

A/n: I hope you know that by making this request, it got me thinking of getting another tattoo. When I started writing this, I ended up going to a friend's house the same night and begged her to give me an Avatar tattoo. Pic Here.

~~~~~~~~~

With Jake and his family as full-fledged Metkayina now, the reef people have slowly become accustomed to human allies coming and going from their island whenever Toruk Makto gives them a call.

As the years progress, both species actually begin to mingle a bit, and eventually, a small, human settlement finds its way to Awa'atlu. You were the first to live on said settlement, assigned to it by Norm because both he and Jake agreed that your expertise belonged on the island and the Metkayina have grown to know and trust you.

Among those who have gotten to know you were none other than the olo'eyktan's son, Ao'nung. And while it was clear that the two of you were friends, there was still a mystery about you that he had not yet discovered, and that was your physical appearance, specifically your tattoos.

You had several, more than anything Ao'nung had seen on Sky People before, and that was just the tattoos he could see peeking out from beneath your clothes. While some of your ink kind of resembled Ao'nung's, he noticed they took different shapes and didn't have any Na'vi significance that he knew of. Regardless, your tattoos were a small part of why the Metkayina trusted you more than other human allies, simply because you visibly had something in common with them, and he often wondered if yours bore any sort of significance like his does.

"Do all Sky People have tattoos?"

Looking up through your breathing mask, you catch Ao'nung's curious gaze while sitting comfortably in the sand as you work on identifying a rock for your research. Looking back down at your datapad, you reply, "No. Not all."

"Do they only get them when they're of age?"

"No, we usually get them whenever we feel like it," you snort, recalling getting your first one at seventeen, despite the laws stating you needed to be eighteen where you lived at the time. Your mother nearly fainted.

Ao'nung frowns in disbelief, "So there is no meaning?"

"Some tattoos have meaning. Others don't."

"What about yours?"

Your smile is genuine, beaming in a way one does when talking about their favorite interests, "Mine resemble my heritage. Where I come from."

Watching the confusion only grow on the young Na'vi's face, you further explain by pointing out your tattoos, starting with the key-like shape inked into the front of your neck, "It's a Nordic rune. It represents perseverance."

You then peer down and present your arm to Ao'nung, pointing out the tattoo on the inside of your forearm, "Vegvisir."

The word that left your lips sounded so strange to Ao'nung, his ears instinctively twitching at the pronunciation. Looking down at the tattoo on your arm, observing the intricate line work before peering back up at your face, he waits for you to explain the significance, and you do,

"It's meant to appear as a wayfinder. To help the wearer not get lost and find their way home. It's a symbol of protection and guidance."

Your hands then reach up to the collar of your shirt and pull it down to reveal one of your favorite and more prominent tattoos. Ao'nung's eyes widen at such wonderful artwork. At the center of your collar, just above your heart, was the picture of a beautiful, intricate tree, the branches meant to twist and form Celtic knots into the ink, the roots of the tree running down your sternum and disappearing into your shirt.

"This is Yggdrasil."

"Eggdrazil?" Ao'nung felt his own tongue knot itself just trying to properly pronounce the word, but even he could admit it sounded wrong coming out of his mouth.

"No," You laugh lightly while slowing it down pronouncing it to the best of your ability in a Na'vi accent, "IG-drah-sill. It's the Tree of Life. I'm not sure how else to explain it without sounding preachy or confusing, but... it's kind of like your people's Spirit Tree, in a way."

His eyes widen with surprise, staring down at the tree tattoo with newfound fascination at the idea that a human culture could be so similar to his own. Slowly reaching out, his fingers press into the ink on your collar, and you stubbornly stay still, refraining from the pleasant shiver that threatened to run down your spine at the contact.

Inspecting the tattoo with both his fingers and his eyes, Ao'nung finds himself thinking out loud, muttering under his breath, "They almost resemble what a warrior would wear."

You find your smile unapologetically twitching with amusement, "Well, technically, that's exactly who my ancestors were. Warriors."

Ao'nung's curious eyes finally meet yours again, excuding confidence, "And you as well."

Your smile melts into something more genuine, "And me as well. Just like you."

His lips curl into a smile of his own.

~~~~~~~~~

MASTERLIST

RULES

REQUEST

[estrellami-1]

Steddie Week 2024 | Steddie Microfic

July 7th prompt: Free Space - Mystery, Hands, Long, Trade, Exes to Lovers or Getting Back Together, Drunken Confession (aka I combined all the prompts I didn’t use this week) | July prompt: one

Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3 | Day 4 | Day 5 | Day 6

Word count: 1,111

No warnings apply

Rated T

@steddie-week | @steddiemicrofic

It was never a mystery, to Steve, how they got together. How they worked together.

The only mystery is how he managed to let him go—to lose him in a way Steve hadn’t understood until Eddie. Because Nancy was great, she was fantastic, Steve was in love. He doesn’t doubt that. But it never felt like it did with Eddie: low lights in the club, hands on each other’s bodies, open-mouth kisses that really was nothing more than them panting into each other’s mouths—

Stumbling into the bathroom, or into either of their bedrooms, hands in hair and under shirts and unbuckling belts—

Sleepy, slow morning kisses. Breakfast. Holidays.

How did it end?

Steve thinks, remembers fists clenched at sides, red faces, stiff shoulders.

Remembers shouted words, cold shoulders, slammed doors.

Remembers the key left on the kitchen counter.

That had done it, he remembers, he had called Robin, already sobbing, and she was on her bike and halfway there practically before she had hung up the phone. She’d held him as he fell apart on the kitchen tiles.

Then again, when he went to go to bed. Saw the two pillows. Threw one off; it hit the wall, slid down. Had to change the sheets; they smelled too much like him.

It took him a long time—a really long time—to get to the point he’d be okay on his own for more than a couple hours, to the point he could go out to clubs again. Not the same ones he’d gone to, never those, but… he moved on. Kind of.

He knew, and Robin knew, that part of him, at least, would always love Eddie.

It’s why when they’re in a club—a new one they had just found, okay music but better drinks and prospects—and Steve grabs her arm, she looks the direction he is.

He feels like he’s swallowing sandpaper. “His hair is longer.”

“It is.” She pries his fingers off, just so he’s not bruising her anymore, but holds his hand. “What do you want to do about it?”

“I don’t know,” he mutters, watches the way Eddie prowls through the crowd, smirking at people, but still definitely on his way to the bar.

The bar. “I’m gonna get us more drinks,” he says. They both ignore the fact that they’ve barely touched their current glasses.

“Let me know if you need backup.”

“Will do.” He looks at her, for the first time since seeing him, and smiles. “Love you, Robbie.”

She rolls her eyes, but smiles. “Love you, dingus. Go get your man back.”

Steve makes it to the bar before Eddie, asks for whatever is on tap. Looks away at the wall. Can’t watch him walk up. 

“Long Island,” he hears directly beside him, and turns to see Eddie turning to see Steve.

He takes a breath. “Eddie.”

Eddie looks… he looks good, because he always does, but he looks tired, maybe a little thinner. Not… not good, not happy like he was. He swallows. “Steve.”

The bartender hands over their drinks, and Steve takes a sip only to cough. “Sorry, fuck,” he mutters, finally looking at the glass in his hand. He’s got the Long Island, and Eddie’s got his beer.

Eddie’s watching him with an interesting little smile. “Trade?”

“Trade,” Steve agrees, nodding. He coughs again. “God, how do you like that?”

Eddie snickers, pulls a lock of hair over his face. Steve wishes he wouldn’t.

Miraculously, they keep talking. They’re never searching for the next word to make the silence go away because there is no silence.

Eventually Robin comes up to him, pulls him into a hug. “Imma go home with that girl,” she murmurs, pointing behind her. A cute, preppy-looking blonde smiles nervously at Steve. He smiles at her, then back to Robin. “Of course. Call the house, give me the address.” He kisses her forehead. “Have fun.”

“Oh, I will,” she grins, then turns to look at Eddie, eyes narrowed.

Eddie gulps. She grins, scary as anything, and whispers something in his ear that has him paling. “Yuh-yep. Yeah. Got it. Thanks Robin.”

Steve grimaces when she walks away. “What did she say?”

Eddie looks at him for a long minute. “Something I’ve known for a while now,” he eventually murmurs. 

It was inevitable, really, that they would end up back here, hands in hair and under shirts, stumbling into Steve’s apartment, panting into each other’s mouths, trying to undo buckles by memory because the worst thing in the world right now would be to stop kissing.

“God, Steve,” Eddie gasps, pulling him down the hall. “C’mon- c’mon, please, need you, need you-”

“Yeah,” Steve answers against his mouth, just as affected. He’s got his own pants halfway off, thinking about his shirt next, thinking about the lube in the drawer that hasn’t gotten as much action as it used to, and suddenly he aches for it. “Need you inside me,” he mutters, kissing down Eddie’s neck, stopping at a place behind his ear that he knows from experience makes Eddie’s knees weak.

“Fuck,” Eddie chokes out. “Yeah, yeah, c’mon, c’mon baby, lemme in you- lube’s in the drawer?”

Steve opens the drawer in answer, roots around until his fingers close on the bottle. Pushes it into Eddie’s hand, pushes him away so Steve can get naked.

Eddie’s eyes rake along his body. He drops his own pants just as fast, limbs flying as he strips out of his shirt too, clambering onto the bed beside Steve’s hip, eyes wide and fingers shaking as he lubes up.

It’s after, when everything’s cooling and drying and becoming itchy, that Eddie’s breath wobbles. “I shouldn’t,” he mutters into Steve’s shoulder. “Shouldn’t say anything. But hell if I don’t miss you like crazy.”

Steve closes his eyes, tries to keep the tears at bay. “You’re drunk.”

“I had less than one drink.”

The tears win. “We broke up for a reason,” he whispers. “Didn’t we?”

“I was scared,” Eddie says.

“And you’re not now?”

“Only of losing you.”

Steve sobs, can’t help it, but he feels Eddie’s hot tears on his neck, too, and that somehow makes it better.

It’s the next morning, after slow, sleepy kisses and breakfast, that Steve sighs. “I never stopped loving you. I don’t think I can.”

“I don’t think I can, either.”

Steve slowly turns to look at him. “So what does that make us?”

Eddie shakes his head. “I don’t know. All I know is it makes me yours.”

“Yours,” Steve parrots, daring to curl his fingers over Eddie’s, breath hitching when he holds on just as tight. “That sounds pretty damn good to me.”

[jeridandridge]

For Lovers At Night part 2

Melissa tells Barb about her new budding relationship. Pt 1

The rest of that Saturday night went well for Melissa. When she got home she took a long shower and tried to tone down her total heart eye as she gets ready for bed. Getting settled she holds her phone daring to send a goodnight text as she lays in her bed next to a sleeping Joe which had become a rare occurrence.

Thank you for another great night, hon. I hope I can see you soon.

Putting her phone on do not disturb she sets it on the night stand rolling over to her side with a giddy smile on her lips.

Melissa wakes alone the following morning. The weather outside is dull and grey, making her want to stay curled up under the covers. Stretching out with a sigh she picks her phone up ready to see if she has anything from Barb about their brunch plans. Instead, she sees a text from the woman she’s found herself thinking about more often than not.

Believe me the pleasure was all mine, gorgeous. Maybe we can meet up for a coffee sometime this week if your schedule lets you. Let me know 😊

And that’s how Melissa ends up walking around the house with a cheek aching smile on her face. So much so that when she shows up to brunch with Barb, the older woman beams at her friend.

“Look at you, girl! What’s got you smiling like that?” She asks hugging her friend before they sit at the table.

“What? I can’t smile?” Melissa chuckles setting her purse down.

“I haven’t seen you smile like that in a long long time.”

Melissa let Barbara into her life a year into her career at Abbott, and she hasn’t looked back since. She knew Barb was a woman of faith, but also knew that she would never condemn her for being happy.

Resting her hand on the table, Melissa tries to bite back a smile. That attempt fails.

“I met someone that’s makin me think a lot.”

“Oh Melissa, it’s wonderful to have a new friend.” Barbara pats her hand.

“It’s already more than that, Barb.” Melissa admits. “It’s- I dunno i feel like a high school kid with a crush.”

“Well, I’m not telling you what to do, but knowing you and your husband? Be smart and do what makes you happy.”

Melissa looks at her best friend with a hopeful smile, touched that she wasn’t judged for her admission. Barb asks for more details about this mystery person and eventually, Melissa sees a familiar face coming towards their table. She sits up a little straighter, a small smile spreading on her lips.

“Melissa,” you smile walking over to the table.

“Hi, hon. I was just talking about you.”

“Uh oh, that’s rarely a good thing.” You tease. “I don’t want to interrupt your lunch, I just wanted to say hi.”

“You’re not interrupting anything, sweetheart. I’m Barbara Howard.” The woman offers you a kind handshake.

“It’s great to meet you Mrs. Howard.” You smile shaking her hand. “I’m picking up an order for the guys at the bar, I’ll catch up with you later?” You meet Melissa’s eyes.

“You bet, hon.”

Walking away you move with a pep in your step not knowing about the conversation that’s going to take place. Barbara keeps her eyes on her friend with an agape mouth. “Girl,” she draws out, “that woman likes you. And she’s very pretty.”

Melissa sips her mimosa trying to hide her smile. “She is, isnt she?”

“Does she know your situation?” Barb asks quietly. That’s when Melissa looks down at the table feeling the catholic guilt that’s been engrained in her since she was a child.

“I told her I was divorced.” She admits.

Barbara gives Melissa a look that makes her feel like she’s in trouble with her mother again.

“Sweetheart if you like her don’t you think it’s best to start off with the truth?”

Melissa sits back knowing it was wrong of her to lie about it. She’d wanted a divorce for years, not pulling the trigger on the idea because she knew it would kill her mother. So she put up with the cheating and living with a man that was nothing more than a roommate.

“I’ll tell her when the times right, Barb. I will.”

Back at the bar you and your coworker, Jacob, hangout in the back on a lunch break. As your friend goes on about his finals for his degree you sit back with your legs on your desk, food container in your lap.

“Jacob you’re gonna get hiccups if you take in any more air.” You chuckle.

“Sorry! I’m really nervous is all.” He all but whines. “I have to pass these courses then I get to do teachers without boarders finally.”

You smile playfully tossing a balled up napkin at him. “You’re gonna be a great teacher, Hill. Trust me.”

“Maybe your girlfriend could get me a job.” He smirks.

“Oh my god,” you laugh. “We’re literally building a friendship for right now.” You reason trying not to give away your already budding feelings for the mysterious woman. When your phone buzzes you can’t stop the grin spreading across your face.

“Oh.my.god. I see literal heart eyes. That must be her.”

Sure enough, on your screen you see a text from the redhead.

It was nice seeing you today, hon. How about that coffee tomorrow? I know this really nice bookshop. You might know it.

Grinning like an idiot you send her a text back.

I might know which one you’re talking about. When you get here park around the back.

Setting the phone down you look up finally snapping out of it.

“Don’t look at me like that, Hill.”

Sure enough Jacob was right and it annoys you that he is. The next day you walk around your apartment with a ridiculous smile on your lips as you clean, the nervous excitement running through you has you practically dancing across the clean floor. The idea of bringing Melissa up to your apartment was easy, it was right above the shop and bar anyway, and maybe just maybe it would allow you to get closer to the woman.

Being closed on Sundays and Mondays were usually a good thing, but now you find yourself doing busy work to get through the day until Melissa comes over after work. Making sure the floors are clean, you dust your own book shelves and re stack your records before looking around the sitting area, which really was just a big open room with a kitchen and a divider wall in front of your bedroom furniture.

Hours later when you hear the buzzer, you jump up and check your hair in the mirror, wearing it down when you’re not in the bar, this’ll be the first time Melissa sees you more comfortable.

“Hey! Cmon up.” You say into the speaker, pressing the buzzer down to let the woman in.

Melissa hops up the single flight of stairs,smiling when she sees you in the hallway. “You have a long commute to work.” She jokes.

“Oh it’s awful,” you beam stepping forward with your arms open for a hug. Melissa is a little surprised, not really showing affection to people outside of her family but she finds herself gravitating the young woman wrapping her arm around her shoulders in a little squeeze, one that feels warm and inviting.

“Ive got the coffee going already, are you hungry? I thought maybe we could order food.” You shrug casually.

“That sounds great, hon.” Melissa smiles following you into the cozy living space. “Wow, I didn’t know this was so open up here.”

“I tried to make it cozy.” You chuckle pouring two cups. “How was work?”

Melissa sets her purse down on one of the small dining table chairs, looking up at you surprised. “It was a great day actually. The kids did this project I’ve never done before, we read Peter rabbit then they decorated little plates like bunnies.” She beams talking about her kids.

You can’t help but smile as she shares how her day was, eventually moving to sit on your couch with your hot mugs in hand.

“I’m sorry, I’ve been talking and talking.” Melissa chuckles nervously following you. Joe never wanted to hear about her days at work or anything about the kids, he was always rushing out every time she tried to share something with him.

“No no!” You chuckle tucking your feet under you, “keep going, seeing you talk about your kids is adorable. So is bunny art.” Truth be told you found her laugh so warm and invigorating, it made your stomach jump in the best way.

Melissa tucks a strand of wavy hair behind her ear smiling at the young woman. “I don’t always talk about work, but they were too cute.”

“You can talk about whatever you want. I’m a good listener.” You smile sipping your coffee.

Sitting back Melissa realizes that this has been easy from the start. Having a casual conversation and feeling comfortable was easy with you.

“I have a very serious question for you, hon.”

“I might have an answer for you, Mel.” You mirror her energy with an amused smile.

“Do you like the Eagles?”

“Yes I do.” You laugh with a nod. “I don’t fully understand football, but I like it. My brother is a big football guy.”

“A brother huh? Younger or older?” Melissa beams.

“Four years older. I was a pain in his ass. What about you, any siblings?”

Melissa nods leaning forward to rest her mug on the coffee table, her shirt coming down exposing a nice amount of cleavage you have to look away from.

“I have a little sister and a baby brother. But he’s on thin ice because he keeps backing the Jets.”

“Not the Jets.” You scrunch your nose, “see I might not fully get the game but at least I’m loyal.”

“A woman after my own heart.” Melissa chuckles watching you play with the handle of your mug.

There’s that sound again.

“You’ll know when I go for that.” You smile, meeting her pretty eyes. You didn’t know what her full story was, but you wanted to find out and if that was friendly or romantic was up to Melissa.

Melissa meets your eyes, a shy smile spreading on her own face. She felt like she’d known you forever, a comfortably settling over you two with ease.

“You’re so suave, you don’t get nervous do ya?”

“You make me a little nervous,” you shrug. “But in an exciting ‘what am I going to say to keep her attention?’ way.”

It’d been so long since Melissa felt like someone was interested in her it felt almost foreign.

“Don’t be nervous, hon. If it makes you feel any better I uh, I felt I was back in high school when I was texting ya.”

“Oh yeah? “I’m happy to have made you feel like that. You’re a special person, Mel. I know meeting someone new after a breakup can be scary, but I feel very grateful you let me in like you have.” You tell her as casually as you can.

Melissa looks at the younger woman, nothing but sincerity in her eyes.

“That got way more serious than I wanted it to be,” you laugh hiding your face in your hand.

“Oh cmon!” Melissa laughs leaning over, gently taking your wrist in her hand to remove it from your face. “I’m around second graders all day having a conversation like this is great.” She gives you a soft smile.

Taking her hand in yours you lean forward just enough to enter her personal space just a bit. “You have a gorgeous smile.”

“You’re a charmer, hon.”

“I always mean what I say.” You tell her quietly. The feeling of her hand in yours gives you the same bubbly feeling it gave you at the bar the other night.

“I’m starting to see that. I think I learn somethin new about you every time I see you.”

“Yeah? What have you learned about me?” You smile back feeling a teasing steak hit you.

“You’re incredibly smart, helpful,” she hums gently squeezing your hand, “and you’re incredibly cute when you talk about something you like, like that book.”

“It’s a good book. Like I said, a woman finding herself is a beautiful thing. But if we get into that we’ll be here all night” You grin leaning a little closer.

“I can’t stay late tonight.” Melissa whispers eyeing your lips. Despite how much she wants to, she really did only come for a coffee.

“That’s okay. I know you have to teach the rugrats in the morning. Cell phones are a beautiful invention, that’ll hold us over until I can see you again.” You chuckle.

“Barb already teases me when she sees me smiling at my phone.”

“I guess the leather jacket and killer eyeliner don’t work when you look adorable and mushy looking at a phone huh?” You tease.

Melissa playfully rolls her eyes moving to stand up. “I’m not mushy now walk me out.”

“Yes, Ms.-“ you stop short as you stand up. “I was going to make a teacher joke but I don’t know your last name.” You chuckle.

Once again, Melissa’s brain short circuits. She’s not joes wife here. No, here she’s herself. “Schemmenti.”

“Very Italian.” You smile not bothering to let go of her hand as you walk her out, down the stairs to her truck.

Outside Melissa unlocks the truck still holding the younger woman’s hand.

“Can I tell you something, hon?” She whispers inching closer.

You meet jade eyes once again, butterflies hitting you just as they always do when you’re with Melissa. “Of course you can.” You say quietly, eyes flicking down to glossy lips for a moment.

But Melissa doesn’t say anything. Closing the space between the two of you she rests her hand on your cheek meeting your lips in a soft kiss. When you register what’s happening your arms slips around her waist, tongue licking at her lower lip to deepen the kiss. It feels like a magnetic pull has taken over your body as you stand there outside in the dusk, arms wrapped around her warm, curvy frame.

Melissa pulls away first, pecking your lips once more for good measure.

“For the record, I’m not scared.”

Next chapter

[nathanbatemanfucker]

Mellow Embers: The Kindling

summary: takin’ our time, let the world turn.

pairing: no outbreak!joel miller x f!reader

contents: 18+/NSFW/MINORS, eventual smut (in pt. ii), internal angst if you squint, impatient!reader, joel being a balm to the rushing soul & a lovely (modern but still a little traditional) southern man, unkmowingly insecure!joel, first date, kissing

wc: 2,604

an: a song based fic that inspired this concept! everyone say thank you kacey musgraves <3. perhaps…perhaps i am back. i hope to be, pls be patient with me.

misc. masterlist | the crescendo (pt. ii)

Quick, fast, and in a hurry.

That’s the mantra you always lived your life by, passed down from generation to generation. Raised in the most independent hoard of women, you were taught that you didn’t have a choice. You have to work hard, diligently, fast in order to get things done. There is no sulking, no thinking, no waiting. If you want something done, you’ll do it yourself and you’ll do it with a brisk ease. Everything in life is a task– even finding someone you want to spend your life with.

While you have some hesitancy about putting the petal to the metal when it comes to love–what with the failed marriages of your mother, and her mother and mother– you know no other way. You know no other way, until you met Joel Miller.

Joel trudges into your bar one night and you can’t take your eyes off of him. His eyes are a warm brown that rivals the shine of amber, his jacket a bit dusty, his hair a little wild. He’s moving a bit slowly, rubbing at his back when he takes a seat on the stool a couple strides down the bar from you. You wrap things up with the patron in front of you, sliding their food order down the bar to a runner before making your way to this mystery man.

You lean over the bar with a cheeky grin, pushing your cleavage together, “What can I get you? It's on the house.”

“Whiskey, a double. It ain’t good manners not to pay,” He murmurs, throwing down a couple bills.

Your interest is further piqued. What’s a southern man like him doing in a place up so north? You wonder where he’s from, what his life was like before coming to live in a city such as this one.

“Isn’t it rude to refuse good hospitality?”

He shrugs, the tiniest smile on his face, “I personally like to take my flirtin’ a little slower.”

You tilt your head, raising a brow at him, “But not your conclusion jumping? Who says I was flirting?”

“You’re not very good at being discreet about your stare, sweetheart.”

Your face grows extremely hot, and for a moment you open your mouth to give him a rebuttal but soon close it once you realize you don’t have one. Instead, you murmur something about his drink and turn away to fetch a glass and a bottle of whiskey. When you return, your pour is fast. You’d been eager to talk to him and now you couldn’t be more eager to get away.

The man leans across the bar, as he takes the drink from your hand, careful not to touch you. “I’m sorry.”

“No need to be. Can I get you anything else?” The words fly out of your mouth, almost slurring together with how quickly you say them.

“You just can’t slow down, can you there, honey?” His tone isn't unkind or condescending, just observant. You find yourself growing defensive anyway.

“It's a bar, it comes with the territory.”

“So does the quick flirtin’?”

“I know what I want and I go after it. What’s so wrong with that?”

“Doesn’t give you much time to appreciate things,” He says thoughtfully.

“Right.”

“I’m interested, darlin’. I am. But let’s take our feet off the gas. I’m Joel,” He introduces himself, holding a hand out to you.

You take it, unable to look away from his warm, inviting eyes despite his hesitancy. And that was the simple, slow start of you and Joel.

Syrupy slow. Thick as molasses.

—

It takes weeks for Joel to ask you on a proper date. He’s said he was interested, and clearly was by how often he frequented the bar you work at. He’d order the same double, sit at your end of the bar, and then the two of you would chat between patrons. He’s charming and hilarious, and so godly fucking slow at dating. If it wasn’t endearing, if he wasn’t so handsome you wouldn’t give him the time of day.

It’s nearing the end of the third week you two have done this but it’s Friday, and tonight Joel stays until your shift is over so he can walk you to your car. He even helps you clean once all the other patrons are out, wiping down the bar for you as you finish loading glasses in the dishwasher.

The summer air is a little chilly once you two exit the bar, and Joel notices the way you shiver in your tiny little top— the one that shows cleavage that he tries to be conscious of, that he tries not to look at. He’s successful…most of the time.

“S’a little dusty, but here,” He murmurs, shrugging out of the jacket he’s wearing, gently draping it around your shoulder.

It’s shit like this that keeps your heart so tender for a man you haven’t even held hands with. You’ve wondered if it’s just his southern charm, or if someone before you had hurt him and made him more mindful of the way he pursues women.

His gesture has your heart fluttering, palms growing slick like you’re back in high school, having your first date with Nathan from second period. Sometimes you think about what your family might say about Joel. That he’s too traditional, that he probably wants you barefoot and pregnant in his kitchen, a ring on your hand. But, you don’t get that vibe from him. You think that maybe he just wants to treat you well, and maybe you finally think you deserve something like that. Even if it’s moving much slower than you would prefer.

“Thank you, Joel,” You say, feeling uncharacteristically shy.

Something about Joel and his soft, slow intensity is different than anything you've ever had before. Once to your car, you start to slip out of his jacket but he shakes his head.

“Keep it, darlin’. I’ll come get it tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow?”

“Wondered if I could take you out to dinner tomorrow since you're off.”

“Finally,” You huff playfully, grinning at him.

If you’re not mistaken, Joel blushes, scratching the nape of his neck. “Alright, alright, don't you start now.��

“I’m just giving you a hard time. You know we could do breakfast instead— or lunch,” You suggest, feeling a little impatient. Did you really want to wait the entire day to see him?

“Dinner,” He repeats, a knowing grin on his face. “Be patient, girl.”

“Fine, fine. Dinner, I’ll just twiddle my thumbs all day.”

“We both know you’ll be runnin’ around like a chicken with its head cut off by 10 a.m.”

It feels good that he knows you. You laugh, nodding begrudgingly. He’s right— it might even be earlier than that.

“Just make sure you pace yourself on the coffee.”

“I make no promises. Goodnight, Joel.”

For the first time since your handshake, Joel touches you. He takes your hand into his, helping you into your car, and before shutting the door behind you, he presses a chaste kiss to your skin. Warmth spreads slowly through your hand, creeping up your arm and neck, into your cheeks.

“Goodnight, honey.”

—

Joel doesn’t touch you again the entire night. He’s careful when you return his jacket, careful when he’s guiding you, only letting his hand ghost behind you as you walk. It’s driving you nuts. You wore a silk dress, floral and clingy in all the right places— even wore a flower in your hair to match, and still there was nothing. Well, he had called you beautiful, so beautiful to be exact, when you answered the door.

During dinner, he told you about his daughters, Sarah and Ellie. Things sort of clicked, of course, he would want to take things slow when there are children involved. He doesn’t speak ill of Sarah’s mother when he mentions that they co-parent, explains that Ellie is sort of a stray he ended up taking in. It’s impossible to miss the way he lights up when speaking about his girls. He says that Sarah welcomed Ellie with open arms, that they’re nearly inseparable and do nothing but give him a hard time together.

You don’t say it, but you hope that one day you’ll get to meet them. With your disposition, you wouldn’t be opposed to meeting them right now. But that’s now how this works, especially not with Joel in the driver’s seat.

You respect it. You respect him. It doesn’t stop you from being a little forward when he walks you to your door.

“Do you want to come in?”

Joel gives you a shy smile, shaking his head. “You know the answer to that, sweetheart.”

You nod, pouting a little. Joel thinks it’s adorable, and wants to reach out and run a thumb over the swell of your bottom lip to push away. But he knows you, and the moment he laid his hands on you, you’d bounce on him. He’s not sure he’d be able to resist, even with his reservations.

“Well, there was no harm in me trying,” You say salaciously, raising a brow at him.

“I appreciate your eagerness, but we’re still takin’ this slow.”

“I know, I respect it, Joel. It’s just not something I’m used to.”

He doesn’t like the way you deflate a little, as if you’re feeling some sort of shame. He’d never want you to feel that way.

He takes a step forward, cupping your cheek gently, “You know there’s nothin’ wrong with taking things fast, honey. But, I think this is good for the both of us. How does it feel?”

How does it feel? When you get beyond the initial impatience, the clumsiness of not always flirting and immediately getting physical, it feels…certainly different, and maybe good. Really good. To know his interests, and intentions, his values, and pieces of his life before diving in head first. Yeah, it feels good. Because there is no making things work as they come at you— Joel is slowly showing you what you get with him, proving as time inches forward that you two fit together just fine.

You don’t have to rush into it to make him stay. He just will.

That restless energy you feel like you were born with settles as you try to formulate your answer. How could you tell him all of that without seeming like you were rushing into things feeling perfectly right?

You decide to keep it vague, feeling a little nervous for once. “It feels good. Nice. Different…not what I’m used to, but nice.”

Joel’s thumb slowly skates across your cheek, trying to soothe you. His voice is a soft gravelly hum. “Feels good for me too, sweetheart.”

He’s making your head foggy, with his gently dominant disposition. Unable to stop yourself, you lean further into his palm, enjoying the callousness here and there. His eyes don’t leave yours, as if they’re looking into you and not just at you. His presence is overwhelming, a single glance from him consuming you. You find yourself trembling slightly despite the dreadfully warm air tonight.

Joel bends slightly, his nose just an inch away from ghosting yours. “I’m gonna kiss you now, alright?”

You make a soft, affirmative sound, the ability to find your voice escaping you.

It’s so slow. So Joel. It feels like the slow drip of caramelized sugar. Like a snail making its way across the pavement. Your brain slips away further there's nothing but warmth and happiness and pleasure as Joel kisses you on your porch. He presses his mouth to yours, guiding your head back with the hand that still cups your cheek. He takes your hand, bringing it up so that you mirror his actions. Once your hand is there his drops away, taking your other hand and guiding it to his chest.

He wants you to feel. To take this moment to stop time and not get lost in it, not drift away like you were before. He wants you to stay present, to savor every languid stroke of his tongue against yours.

And as if you can feel him saying that through the simple connection of lips, you become sharply aware of what the sensation of kissing Joel Miller feels like.

How his lips are as soft as they look, his tongue tasting of the dark ale he drank at dinner. How the shadow of a beard that trails his jaw tickles at your palm. How firm and solid and warm his chest feels beneath your fingertips. More than that— both of his hands now cup your face with a gentle intimacy you’ve never experienced, not even with others who have seen and touched much more of your body than he has.

Despite sinking into him and his patience, there’s a hunger inside of you that you can’t ignore. You give into your urges and instruments. It’s as if this was the calm before the storm— the storm being you, starting to clutch him closer, kiss him deeper, frantically so.

Joel chuckles into your mouth when he feels the way you start to pillage him; there’s no other word for it. Your message is as clear as his: you want more and you want it now.

“Down, girl,” He slurs into your mouth, getting a grip on your hands and gently prying them from the fabric of his flannel.

“Sorry,” You whisper, completely breathless. You take a step back towards the door, your expression apologetic. “Sometimes— most of the time, I get a little carried away. I didn’t mean to cross a line.”

“You didn’t cross a line— at least not one I don’t eventually intend to cross,” He assures you softly, taking a step forward to maintain proximity to you.

It makes butterflies flutter in your tummy even as you laugh, nodding in understanding. He was being genuine despite moving slower than molasses. He’s worth the wait. At least that confirms the worst of your worries. He’d said from the day you met he was interested but there was a silly part of you— insecure and swirly, you try not to engage with it much— that thought that maybe he was just being a gentleman. Taking pity on you, giving you the time of day to boost your confidence and spare your feelings.

“What do think about say to us doin’ this again next week, sweetheart?”

“I think…I would really like that, Joel.”

“Great. Now hold your horses and let me kiss you again.”

He does that thing again like he did last night, his voice infused with honey, low and delicious as he crowds you up against your door. The combination is threatening to make your legs give out and you brace yourself by the doorknob, looking up at him with eager eyes.

Joel kisses you breathless once more, taking both of your wrists in his grasp if only to keep you at bay, and maybe to feel soft your skin is under his palms…how you let him take the lead despite it being a new concept. The thought has his cock stirring and he pulls away, knowing that he’s pressed his luck enough with you tonight.

He raises his eyebrows, unable to keep the smirk off his face. “Goodnight, honey.”

“Goodnight, Joel,” You murmur, feeling tingly all over.

You let yourself in and watch Joel walk to his car through the screendoor. And when he pulls off, he gives you a cute little wave, one that you return, warmth blooming in your chest.

Joel and his sweet southern charm, sweeping you off your feet.

joel taglist: @honeybrowne, @campingwiththecharmings, @lesbianhotch

[blueishspace]

Looped Sun 13

Loop #397

Jimmy: You know what? I'm not going to lose this time around.

Scott: Oh?

Jimmy: I'm going to win this time. I'm going to be the winner of third life.

Scott: Why not? I can help if you want.

Jimmy: This will be amazing.

Jimmy: This isn't amazing.

Scott: Oh Jimmy, you know this is how Third Life ends, I wasn't going to die before seeing you win.

Jimmy: I know... but I don't want to...

Scott: It's ok Jimmy, this is just a game after all.

Jimmy:... Alright.

Loop #399

Mumbo: ... Grian, why did I found an egg under my bed covers.

Grian: I don't know what you mean.

Mumbo: Grian!

Grian: Maybe It's yours, maybe you can lay eggs in this loop.

Mumbo: ... Can I? ... Wait no, you are trying to distract me!

Grian: What? Me??? Noo.

Mumbo: That's definitely a lie.

Loop #407

Scar: Oh! Jimmy, Jimmy, come here!

Jimmy: Deputy, what's going on?

Scar: You haven't seen my theme park yet have you?

Jimmy: Do you have one?

Scar: Oh yes, come with me.

Jimmy: This is... wow. How long did this take?

Scar: Like 200 loops.

Jimmy: This is insane! This is like, as big as a server! How???

Scar: Lots of effort!

Jimmy: You got a Tumble Town inspired section?

Scar: Of course! I am the deputy after all!

Jimmy: Can we go?

Scar: Oh yes! Just remember to keep all limbs inside the minecart!

Loop #418

Grian had woken up in a gray world... He could see people and trees and animals but everything was some shade of gray. He wondered around a bit and noticed a blur, a person in a cloak running into the woods... So of course they followed them.

Grian: Hello? ... Hey? Mysterious person-

Suddenly there was a blade to his neck, a person in a cloak and hat holding it to him.

Grian: Well, that's not nice.

???: Who are you!?! I have never seen you before!

Grian: Grian, and you?

???: I... It doesn't make sense, I gave never seen you before... why did the script change?

Grian: Script... is time reapeating for you?

The stranger took a step back, face shocked.

???: How!?

Grian: I am in the same position, now I ask again. Who are you?

Siffrin: Call me Siffrin...he/they

Siffrin: I just escaped one timeloop and now I'm stuck in a different one!?!

Grian: I... I'm not the best person to explain probably but you aren't alone.

Siffrin: I'm not?

Grian: Eventually other people will start looping with you, the closer to you the likelier.

Siffrin: ...

Grian: So, can I join your little party for this?

Siffrin: I can try to convince the others but I don't... I Don't want to go into the house again.

Grian: Oh, that, don't worry I'll deal with the king myself.

Siffrin: Are you sure?

Odile: What do you mean the king disappeared and everyone was freed!??

Bookstore keeper: I don't know what to tell you, it happened in the middle of the night.

Mirabel: D-does that mean It's over? Everyone is ok?

Bookstore keeper: Looks like it.

Mira: Oh! I need to see the head housemaiden!

Odile: I can't believe this.

Scott: So when are you going to tell Siffrin that you are also looping?

Loop: When are you going to tell that watcher that you are here?

Scott: Touchè.

Loop: Of course, I'll tell them... eventually. It is much funnier this way.

Scott: Agreed.

Grian: I have a gift.

Siffrin: A gift?

Grian: You probably won't know what it is but this is a reality stone.

Siffrin: ...

Grian: You remember how to access the pocket?

Siffrin: Yeah?

Grian: Hold on to it, will you?

Loop #422

Scar: Mumbo?

Mumbo: Yeah?

Scar: I've been thinking.

Mumbo: Weird...

Scar: Wha- Hey!

Mumbo: Heh... go on.

Scar: Right, me and Grian are soulmates so much that sometimes the bond stays even if we are outside if Double Life.

Mumbo: Yes?

Scar: And you got half of Grian's soul to get cured of pigness.

Mumbo: ... Yes.

Scar: So if you and Grian share a soul then you are also soulmates right?

Mumbo: . . . I guess?

Scar: So if me and Grian are soulmates and you and Grian are soulmates then me and you are soulmates too!

Mumbo: I don't think that's how it works?

Scar: But are you sure it isn't?

Mumbo: ... Not really?

Scar: Then it totally works like that soulmate.

Mumbo: If... if you say so...soulmate.

Loop #425

Scott heard a knock...then soon after another.

Scott: Coming.

...

Scott: Who's there at this hour?

Tango: It's me, Tango.

Scott: Why are you here?

Tango: I wanted to say I'm...sorry for your loss.

Scott: Wha- oh, you mean Jimmy?

Tango: ... Yeah?

Scott: It's...ok, I'll deal...thank you I guess.

Tango: ...

Scott: ... Do you want anything else.

Tango: Uh... I... Have a weird question.

Scott: Go on?

Tango: Is...is time reapeatificating for you?

Scott: ...

Tango: It is isn't it!? I knew it!

Scott: Tango... out of everyone...

Tango: Yea- ...uh?

Scott: It's just... I have a lot to tell you but I can't right now.

Tango: Wait no, I need to-

Scott: It's late Tango, come back tomorrow, bye!

Scott: Why him!? Why did he have to start looping as well!?

He needed to calm himself, he couldn't act aggressively towards Tango the following morning and especially not in front of Jimmy. This was...unexpected but it was fine, he could deal with this.

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Also interested in Hollow Knight lore, @a-sociopath-do-your-research if you are willing to loredump in my askbox I will be very grateful.

[lili863]

Animagus Pt 1

Matteo Riddle x MC AN: Enemies to lovers, Quidditch, banter, eventual smut, conspiracies, dark arts, manipulation, death eaters, Slytherin boys, action, romance, and 18+ material which will be mentioned in caption later in story Masterlist

Wynn Cromwell, a descendant of an ancient and powerful wizarding family, finds herself head-to-head with the infamous Matteo Riddle, son of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and leader of the Slytherin Elite: Lorenzo Berkshire, Draco Malfoy, Theodore Nott, and Blaise Zabini. Thrust into a world of conspiracies, dark arts, and deadly secrets, Wynn fights to reclaim her most prized possession and uncover the truth behind Matteo’s mysterious agenda. But as their rivalry deepens, so does the treacherous dance of consuming hatred, desire, love, and lust. As alliances shift and dark forces close in, each must choose a side—save the wizarding world or destroy it.

"You want me to be a what"? You asked, confused.

"An animagus silly, its the solution to all your problems." Hermoine closed the book she was holding in her hands and proceeded to put it back on the shelves. You and Hermonie were just chatting the library after classes when you started venting about your problems on how to better sneak past into the Slytherin common room.

"Although I hardly think what your doing is the best way to go about this"

"Well what would you do if you were in my place? I tolerated all his bullshit and look where it got me". You crossed your arms "Besides whatever Riddle gets he deserves it"

Hermione let out a resigned sigh. "Matteo Riddle is nothing but an immature boy trapped in a 17-year-old's body. I hardly think he's worth my time."

"Well, he's certainly managed to claim some of mine, and not in a good way. Ever since our paths crossed, he's been slandering my house and making my life a living hell. I even ended up in detention because of him. Detention!"

Hermione shook her head. "But it's not like you just stood by and did nothing."

"That's exactly it! Why should I? Just because I'm a Hufflepuff? They can label me however they want, but I refuse to be a doormat."

Hermione chuckled softly before handing you a book titled 'The Animagus'.

"That's for sure, but in the meantime, becoming an animagus might give you an edge."

You rubbed the bridge of your nose, memories of your ongoing feud with the Slytherin flashing through your mind. "Okay."

Determined, you took the book, knowing you had to sneak into the Slytherin dormitory. After all, he had crossed the line when he had taken something precious from you, and you needed it back.

__________________________________________

Slytherins, among the four houses of Hogwarts, boasted a notorious reputation. They were known for their cunning, slyness and a penchant for mischief. Within Slytherin, there existed an even more infamous group—the clique of wealthy, well-connected individuals, all with ties to the dark arts. Blaise, Enzo, Theo, Draco, and the infamous Matteo Riddle. The bane of your existence.

You couldn't fathom how you became entangled in their world, but it all began with a decision to try out for Quidditch.

Flying came naturally to you, a skill you loved and honed whenever you could. Despite your talent, you never considered trying out until your flying teacher practically signed you up herself. The only incentive? The promise of forty potential house points dangled before you. It was an offer too good to refuse.

So, adorned in your Hufflepuff Quidditch uniform, you ventured to the tryouts, representing your underestimated house.

The house often dismissed as ditzy, wallflowers, and notoriously poor Quidditch players. But you disagreed.

While your house didn't often make it to the finals—those spots were typically dominated by Gryffindor and Slytherin—it wasn't due to lack of talent. Rather, it was the incompetence of your team captain and admittedly their strategies.

In reality, your team boasted several skilled flyers only... it was pretty hard to convince people when convince when the first thing you see walking into the pit was a Hufflepuff nosediving to the ground after getting hit with bluddger.

"Oh bloody hell..." You muttered. Scanning the field you notice several houses at the tryouts stretching as they were called into the sky by Madam Rolanda.

You set your broom down and tried your raven hair up to a ponytail. It was jsut tryouts, nothing to be scared of. If you didn't make it its fine, it wasnt the end of the world.

Besdies- you took a quick look around

It didnt look like you knew anybodyu here so no one to embarrss yourself in front of.

Taking a deep a breath, you took your gloves and put them on trying to shake your nerves when all of a sudden a voice called out.

"Hey, Hufflepuff." You looked up, following the direction of the voice, and your eyes landed on a group of Slytherins lounging on the benches nearby.

Instantly your heart dropped.

You hadn't noticed their presence before, but it was evident from their scrutinizing gazes that they had been observing you. You recognized those green Quidditch uniform anywhere.

The infamous Matteo Riddle, leaned back agains the bench, a lazy smile on his lips stared you in amusment. You didn't know him quite well but you knew of him. And you also knew how ridiculoly handsome he was.

Brown eyes, curly locks, and a smile adorned on his lips that looked anything but friendly. But you could tell that didn't deter anyone.

"Me?" You pointed to yourself, hoping they weren't singling you out. Matteo raised his eyebrows, as if it were obvious before Blaise chimed in, "Considering you're the only other Hufflepuff brave enough to try out today, yes."

The Slytherins stared at you, their eyes assessing your entire presence, judging you intensely. Of all days, today was when the most talented flyers from the Slytherin Quidditch team had decided to grace the pitch with their presence.

Matteo and his entire bloody gang had shown up for tryouts.

"Don't look so scared Newbie," Matteo chuckled. "They can smell fear, you know." He gestured toward the group of flyers sitting high up in the sky, waiting for their next victim to pounce on.

The tryouts worked in a select group of flyers testing your skills on a broom, racing you, throwing bludgers at you, and seeing how many you could fend off on your own and how far you could go. Coach Rolanda would assess your skills and see if you had what it took.

You licked you lips determined not to seem fazed by their presence "Not scared, just warming up"

"Heard Coach speak very highly of you. Even offered house points just for you to come to the tryouts" Blaise remarked.

You tried to offer a small smile trying to remain humble when he continued "The team must really be desperate for Rolanda to place all her hopes on you"

They probably saw your jaw drop a little because they all started snickering afterward. Matteo huffed out a small laugh at your face before turning his attention back to the flyers.

What a bunch of grade A assholes.

"Maybe she see potential where others dont".

The group went silent after your reply with Matteo turning his head to glance back at you.

God, the intimidation they oozed was no joke.

"I am sure she did, in fact, I see it too. Hufflepuffs are great warm-ups for the season"

The group burst into laughter, as Matteo's smirk widened, a glint of challenge dancing in his eyes.

Okay, you take it back. He wasn't that good locking.

Grabbing your broom you walked closer to the group, stopping right in front of Matteo, with a newfound confidence, mostly anger, but you still had faith in your skills for the words swirling in your mind. You were gonna make him eat dirt today.

"Yeah? Why dont we do a little warmup today Riddle. Considering your last game, it looks like you need it".

Blaise scoffed a laugh nudging Draco with a knowing look.

"Oh?" he shot back, raising an eyebrow. "I take it you're a fan?"

"Fan? Hardly. I'm more of a critic. And I'm not blind to the fact that your team relies on dirty plays and brute force. I haven't seen any real skill in the air"

You watch him sit up, now inches from your face "There's no room for fairness and kumbaya in Quidditch, Princess. Everyone plays dirty."

The word Princess hits you with something, your stomach churning at the way he said it.

"Hufflepuffs don't play dirty," you interjected, your voice tinged with defiance.

Matteo's hands grabbed the loose Velcro clasp hanging around your waist and pulled on it, tugging you closer. You squeaked in surprise as he attached it back, tightening the gear you had been struggling with when you entered the pit.

"And that's why you're just a filler," he said with a smirk. He patted the hard gear on top of your stomach, sending you a few steps back with a self-satisfied smile.

The sting of his words and the embarrassment of his actions shot through like electricity, warming your cheeks, and igniting a fire within.

"Cromwell! You're up!" Coach's voice cut through the tension, yet you didn't flinch. Instead, you closed in on him.

But it seemed Matteo's grin only widened as you approached, even going so far as to lean in closer, thoroughly entertained by your presence.

"Come up in the air with me Riddle, and I'll show you exactly what a filler can do"

Matteo paid no mind to the chaos erupting behind him in response to your words. Instead, his gaze bore into yours, intense and unwavering.

With deliberate movements, he reached for his helmet sitting nearby before rising to his feet, bringing his face dangerously close to yours. Your heart raced as you blinked rapidly, attempting to conceal any hint of emotion, and instinctively took a step back.

Without a word, Matteo kicked up his broom and effortlessly hopped on, soaring towards Madam Rolanda.

You hastily mounted your broom, ascending into the air to await her verdict. As you hovered hundreds of feet above the ground, the adrenaline from your exchange with Matteo began to ebb away. Part of you almost wished that Coach Rolanda might reject his participation.

You watched in intensly when suddenly the team of flyers above began to descend.

Now you were confused. What's happening?

Suddenly, something zipped past you with lightning speed, causing you to gasp and retreat instinctively. It was Draco?

You furrowed your brows wondering why he was in the air when you decided to look back down.

The full blown panic set in when the entire Slytherin team started flying towards you.

Madam Rolanda's thumbs-up and smile from below were barely registered as you locked eyes with Matteo, who had settled at your level in the air.

What did he even say?!

"Damn newbie," Matteo remarked, spreading his hands wide as he gestured to the guys behind him. "You got the whole team together. I'm already impressed."

Your tongue poked the side of your cheek in a silent response.

"Time to check if your bite matches your bark," Matteo remarked, his tone challenging.

Your hands clenched at the handles of your broom, acutely aware that if you lost, it wouldn't just be a blow to your pride; it would be a dent in Hufflepuff's reputation, with little chance of recovery. Or maybe none at all if Rolanda decided she didn't want you on the team.

Suddenly, those 40 points weren't seeming all that worth it.

"Alright, team!" Rolanda's voice boomed across the field. "Get ready!"

Everyone sprang into position, bludgers at the ready.

Your job was clear: avoid getting knocked off your broom by the bludgers and complete five laps across the field without falling. It was evident they weren't going to take it easy on you. But with a deep breath and a steeling of your resolve, you closed your eyes, focusing on the task at hand. You knew what was at stake. You had confidence in your skills, and with a good strategy, the odds were as good as yours. And suddenly, as your eyes opened, you were locked in.

********************

You grunted, zipping past Theo, narrowly avoiding the bludger that flew right in front of your face courtesy of Draco.

One of your strengths in flying was your speed, and right now, with your stats, you were arguably one of the fastest flyers in all of the houses. That's why it caught everyone off guard.

Within moments, you had crossed the field, completing your fourth lap without getting knocked off.

"Alright, one more lap to go," you reminded yourself, the adrenaline pumping through your veins as you focused all your concentration on the game. You barely noticed the large crowd gathered below, all watching your performance. Even Rolanda was beaming proudly as she conversed with another professor amidst the commotion.

You observed the boys below, panting and staring you down, some in surprise, others in thinly veiled annoyance. But Matteo looked downright pissed.

You tried to ignore the bruises forming all over your body from the tackles you received from the other guys. It was only thanks to your quick reactions and nimbleness that you didn't get knocked off, either slipping away or coming to a sudden stop on your broom, letting them fly past you.

"Alright, players! LAST LAP!" Rolanda's voice echoed across the field, signaling the final stretch of the challenge.

As the final lap commenced, you pushed your broom to its limits, streaking across the field with lightning speed. Draco and Blaise, determined to thwart your progress, swooped in from both sides, aiming to tackle you off your broom. With reflexes honed from years of flying, you deftly veered to the side, narrowly avoiding their attempts.

But the challenge was far from over. A bludger was sent hurtling through the air by Theo. With a sharp intake of breath, you ducked and weaved, narrowly avoiding the speeding projectile as it whizzed past, the rush of air stirring the strands of your hair in its wake.

Behind you, Draco and Theo gave chase, their determination palpable in the air.

Glancing back for just a moment you grinned watching them practically inhale your smoke when you turned your head back around and nearly shrieked in surprise.

Matteo stopped right before you, ready for your impact.

In that split second, you came to a sudden halt, relinquesing all magical energy from your broom which allowed to freefall with your broom, barely avoiding the collision.

Matteo shock was evident as he watched you, your stunt or rather trick as you call catching him off gaurd.

This maneuver demanded far more energy than one might expect. After investing intense focus into maintaining flight, you had to swiftly shift gears in a split second to initiate the fall. This not only avoided collision but also allowed for a sudden return to flight from the descent, requiring a rapid redirection of concentration and control.

But just as you tried to redirect your broom the momentum proved too much to bear, and you felt yourself losing control from the utter fatigue crashing onto you.

You were now flying towards the goal, desperation clinging to every fiber of your being, but you knew. You were not fast enough.

The manuver cost too much energy.

Just as the sight of finsh line was close enough for you believe your were going to cross it, a hand suddenly wrapped around, a force hitting your back sending you flying off your broom with a scream.

You could barely register Matteo plummeting to the ground with you, but one thing was clear.

You lost.

And it was all because of Matteo Fucking Riddle.

The two of you free fell , but just before you hit the ground, Levioso stops you two for moment.

And then you fall on top of him int eh ground with a grunt.

The roar of the crowd's gasps and screams seemed to reverberate in your ears, though it was more the rush of blood and adrenaline coursing through your veins that you felt. Anger quickly began to overtake you, fueled by the intensity of the moment.

As you rose, straddling him, Matteo huffed out a laugh. "That was some damn stunt," he remarked, his attention seemingly elsewhere as he gave a thumbs-up to his companions in the air, chuckling softly.

Without hesitation, you seized his collar, forcing him to meet your gaze, both of you slick with sweat and heated from the encounter. "Did you seriously just do that?! You could have easily pushed me off the broom, but you chose to bring me down with you!"

Matteo's scoffs "It's called Quidditch, Princess. Better get used to it."

"Yeah, well, next time you pull shit like that, do me a favor and keep your hands to yourself and just freefall alone."

"Says the one straddling and manhandling me."

"Fuck you, Riddle," you spat, releasing him and flinging yourself backwards onto the ground.

Matteo simply frowned as he picked himself up, seemingly unfazed by your outburst.

"Are you-?!" you began, only to be cut off by the approach of Rolanda, still acutely aware of Matteo's eyes on you.

"Madam Rolanda-"

"That was the finest display of flying I've seen in my years, kid," Rolanda interjected, her tone filled with admiration. "Never before have I witnessed a stunt executed with such finesse. Though there are certainly areas for improvement, your performance was nothing short of brilliant. And you, Matteo," she continued, turning her attention to him, "what's your take on this?"

You turned towards Matteo, huffing for breath, just waiting for him shit on you.

Matteo shifted his weight, his gaze lingering on you before he spoke. "I think Hufflepuff finally has some real talent this year."

You felt a blush creeping up your cheeks at the acknowledgment.

"Well, that settles it then! Welcome to Quidditch, kid!"

You eagerly shake Rolanda's hand, but your eyes remain locked on Riddle's back as he joins the other guys.

Something told you this, whatever it was between you and Riddle, wasn't over.

Just as you were about to leave, Matteo suddenly looked back catching your eyes, a menacing glare as if he didn't just praise your skills 2 seconds ago.

Yup, definitely not over.

[spirits-n-giggles]

Must.... conclude.... Beetlejuice story.... after.... 2nd.... movie....

Go on this journey with me

(slightly edited for a better flow.)

Picture it:

A few years goes by....

Astrid and Lydia had become inceperable after their Halloween from hell and live together, but she eventually talks about wanting to experience dorm life for her first year of college. Lydia is happy for her daughter but is now afraid of being alone, not entirely sure what might happen with so many dreams that always plagued her sleep since the resurgence of ☆he who shall not be named☆ - and I want them to use that line as much as they used "keepin' it real."

The house on the hill will become internationally known as the notorious "Lydia Deets' Haunted Arthouse", she didn't have a show anymore, but that didn't stop her reputation from growing exponentially after the Halloween fiasco. People wanna buy this property for millions of dollars, but Lydia will be too afraid of whatever might happen to anyone, should they ever meet the demon from her nightmares, so she keeps the house by using some of Delia's fame funds to keep the home in their name - something Delia would HATE lol - but Lydia doesn't wanna actually be in the house.

Betelgeuse is stuck in the underworld, trying to hide from a revived Delores that continues to terrorize the afterlife, only now she is destroying the place. If the Sandworm can't kill Betelgeuse, how tf is it gonna kill Delores? Wolf Jackson is of course on the case, but things are getting out of hand. This makes Betlegeuse a prime target for anyone with a soul that might wanna rat him out. And there are PLENTY who wanna rat him out. Trying to find a way out or a way to kill the broad, he has to get creative as he stays in hiding. And where is the perfect place to hide? In a certain model town in a certain model home.

Rory will be undead and use his winning personality to act like he worships the ground Delores walks on so she doesn't suck out his soul. She will say she wants Betelgeuse and wants to kill Lydia. He is cool with that and says he will help her achive that goal. He will then become her lacky and tell her how pretty and perfect she is to keep the target off his back. He will be terrified of her but this will gradually make her love Rory and this can cause some potential fun for future scenes.

Lydia has nightmares that always involve Betlegeuse, even some can involve them going on wacky cartoon adventures from the show, but they'll be creepy and dark and stop-motion because Burton. She tries therapy, but it will end up being a bust. It's hard finding the right therapist with someone as much truama as her. OH MY GOD HAVE MICHAEL KEATON PLAY THIS CHARACTER!!!!! (Nice little nod to movie 2) It will freak her tf out thinking she's seeing Betlegeuse everywhere!

This will cause her to become a shut-in after getting rich off the royalties of selling her personal story - a melodrama of love and the loss of two parents after a lifetime of hauntings from their psychic daughter. She sells this story to various people who want to write it into something. She will end up reading raving reviews about a live theater production of her story called "Ghost House" or "Scared Sheetless" after a graphic novel that was released or some shit. Supernatural levels of meta. Might as well! :D

After a particular dream that ruffles Lydia awake in her own apartment, (the dream at the end of movie 2 maybe?) something strange will happen to the house on the hill, causing Lydia to go back and figure it out. Astrid will hear of this and not want her mom to be there alone and goes with her to help solve the mystery. Lydia thinks she knows what (or who) it is and doesn't want Astrid to come along, but she does anyway.

Hiding there in the model, Betelgeuse will see that she and her daughter have returned, thinking she's finally come to her senses and come back to him lol. Betelgeuse gets desperate for Lydia's attention in the best way he knows how - dreams. They've got a psychic connection, and he's done it plenty of times, but now it's for business as well as pleasure.

It would be some kind of earthquake that shakes the hill. Being careful and walking around whatever damage was mysteriously done, some locals say its another haunting and they want to tear the large house down and make something new. Aatrid can hear these comments and relay them to her mom. This will start making Lydia curious about the history of the hill this house was built on, especially since it's so close to the graveyard (the same place Betlegeuse was buried in the model in movie 1)

So she goes on a hunt in the small town, expands it a little, maybe even find the Mainlands old shop? This can parallel with expanding the afterlife while Betlegeuse is trying to find allies. Betelgeuse tries to round up anyone he knows that he can trust - literally anyone from the past - gotta bring Catherine O'Hara and Gena Davis back, right? Stop motion her in as a ripple in dimensional shifts or something and just use her voice. Richard would help as a thanks for helping his kid in the past, and I KNOW we can get Bob back if we tried.

Lydia can end up learning about some of Betlegeuse's history - finds a picture of an eerily familiar couple - but all this place knows is that they were just two of the MANY that were tossed in mass graves on this land centuries back but they don't know details other than they came from Italy. She will make it a mission to go to their original resting place to try to get more info. She's rich. She can do that. (Their love story was in Italy, right?)

Getting to Italy, Lydia learns the urban legend of a murder suicide of some nutorious bad couple who was known for terrorizing the nights in their hellrsising escepades, but after they were dead and buried, the two lovers corpses, along with many other discarded corpses of dead evil people, were moved out of their original land and brought to a new land to be buried there - getting rid of unwanted individuals so they could bring in the industrial revolution. There will be several names, but two will stand out along with a picture -- Delores and another name that's crossed out. Make it Lawrence, lol. Isn't that Betlegeuse's name in the cartoon?

"Betlegeuse?" Lydia whispers.

“Mom!”

“S-sorry."

Astrid tags along with her mother, happy to travel and hunt creepy shit again. Her dad would be proud. This time she won't meet a boy but maybe a girl who was also doing her own research for school. Jeremy was technically her first experience with a boy, and it's possible to stray away from reminders of bad experiences and kids experiment at this age anyway. It will be a cute goth girl who is a fan of Lydia's old show and is one of the first girls Astrid's age to ever actually be nice to her. A nice connection. This could also be a ploy to pull Lydia back into BJs world again, too - yay twists! She can maybe be an illegal ghost girl looking for help from Lydia because she thinks the paranormal human can help everyone in the afterlife.

Underworld is in chaos, and here is a rift between worlds after so many souls had been taken from the afterlife. There's no more order, reality is breaking, and the only way to get everything back in order is to destroy the soul sucker and release the souls she has absorbed. The more she absorbs, the more power she gets.

They get home, and another shift happens between worlds, and with so much death in the afterlife, it's causing serious problems in the real world and Astrid has an idea to maybe call someone for help. Lydia shuts it down, but more rifts and earthquakes happen. She will have another dream of him trying to get her to call his name. And maybe she can awaken in a living nightmare caused by the rift between worlds, and they are both almost killed (by a sandworm, why tf not!!!) before calling Betlegeuse for help.

Get real 'out there' and put those practical affects to good use and let the shenegins begin! As much as I love watching Betelgeuse try to marry Lydia, there is no attempt at marriage this time. There's too much to do. "I just saved your life, now you can help me save mine and finally kill that soul sucking witch for good.”

“No games. No tricks.” Lydia warns.

“I'm not the trickster in this relationship babe,” he wickedly grins, “but we can get back to that after we save our asses. You're coming with me.” Have him turn into a tour guide as he shows off different aspects of the afterlife thays falling apart before the three of them eventually have to run from people who have allied themselves with Delores to find Betelgeuse.

Imagine the reunion of seeing Rory with Delores. Imagine crazy shit that can magically appear to help end the story. Hell, have the goth girl Astrid meets to come back and redeem herself at the end. I dunno. She can appear and admit to being Delores daughter (before meeting Betelgeuse) and thats why she was at the same place Lydia and Astrid went in Italy to find answers- she was too.

This relationship can parallel Lydia and Astrid's positive one- have Delores sacrifice her daughter to start her sacrificial rite for power, and her daughter never forgive her (I swear I am just pulling this out of my ass) have the girl hold vengence for her mom and she can give Lydia the dagger that her mother Delores killed her with that still has the young girl's cursed blood on it. She says to use it to kill Delores, but Betelgeuse is the only one strong enough who can get close enough to do it.

With so much chaos and so many souls taken, anything can happen in the underworld, and chaos ensues. Maybe even break in to see glimpses of the afterlife, perhaps they see a glimpse of hell and see how Jeremy is being tortured (it will be a silly Tim Burton way). They can see part of the great beyond maybe wave at Delia (and the back of Charls’ head) too?

They finally meet Delores and she will say she is over Betelgeuse, happy with her new pet Rory. It's a shock for Lydia to see Rory there but isn't surprised to see him so desperate to fawn after Delores. Satisfied with the new power she’s gained, Delores prefers to keep Betelgeuse alive to torture him.

Lydia will give Betelgeuse the dagger so he can pop her like a bubble and all the souls she's consumed will escape and go back to their soul holders. But why waste energy killing Betelgeuse when Delores can just use him? She is able to levitate him up but Lydia, Astrid, and the goth girl work together to pull him back down. - this is where the goth girl can suddenly enter for the final fight!

Seeing her daughter makes her angry, and seeing her help her foes pisses her off. Delores grows in size to show her strength, and ordering Rory to take care of those little girls. Little goth girl and Astrid go after Rory and Lydia will get a plan -

"Oh... you're not into him anymore, huh? So... you wouldn't care if I did this?" And Lydia pulls that fucker in to kiss him. (This feels very Phantom of the Opera coded.....) Just a peck is enough for Delores to RAGE and she goes full attack mode. She goes after Lydia and Beletgeuse steps in front of her and kills Delores with whatever magical shit her dead vengeful goth daughter supplied, lol. (And I'm talking full jack sparrow stabbing the kraken slow mode scene) Epic as shit!!! Delores daughter will then rest in peace.

Astrid will then ask herself, “Now why the hell can't I connect with humans like I can with ghosts?”

“Family trait, unfortunately.” Lydia says feeling Beletgeuse's breath literally go down her neck with his close proximity. "At least they didn't try to suck you into marrying them."

End it with Lydia being recruited by Wolf Jackson to find those who have been lost in the real world or something. Make it to where she and Betelgeuse have to work together to keep the plane between the living and the dead closed with her as the keeper of the house.

Have the house be the main character in the end!!!!

Betelgeuse will turn to Lydia and say, "So, you're not the marrying type, eh? I'm fine with that-" He'll try to pull her in for another kiss, but she'll push him away.

"Nooo! No-" He lets her shove him to the floor, "I just knew something like that would save your ass. That's what you asked for right? Now we’re even." He quickly jumps back up. "I know jealousy when I see it.”

"You sure do." he inches closer to her, but she crosses her arms looking away, seemingly uninterested.

"Betelgeuse...”

"I can wait, honey. I know you want me." He flexes as he slowly walks away with pride. "No one can resist ‘the juice’ once they've had a taste." He winks.

Astrid groans for her mother, but Lydia just looks to him like she always does.

"Betelgeuse..."

"You will be the one to kiss me again, babes." He holds his arms out in his iconic way. "I got all the time in the world." He thinks this is the end.

"Betelgeuse."

Hmmm.... he doesn't disappear?

But he does give a wicked smile.

Turns out when killing the spirit of the soul sucking witch, the souls did escape, but her power had to be absorbed by someone, and Betelgeuse didn't... really... need.... help with obtaining more power, did he?

Would he be like demi-god state now? Why the hell not? Give me an Astarion evil ending kind of transformation. Give me love and deepspace realness. (google those). Go the whole nine and make him HOT AND SCARY in the end. Michael Keaton is attractive. It's doable! Antihero status! Make it wild! Demigod!!!!

Imagine THAT being interested in you, Lydia. I don't think you'd say no.

End it with his new form levitating and him saying that that iconic voice and green glowing eyes. "It's Showtime."

Throw in a musical number somewhere, a little justice for Bob and you have a lovely story.

There. Done.

I don't think a 3rd will be made, and if there is one, I don't think it would be this ^ stupid! Lol

[thewertsearch]

Mega-Giga Ask Comp: Part 3

@manorinthewoods asked: I'll be honest, I wrote the Locked Tomb ask having not read the Locked Tomb series. I literally only know the starting and ending strokes of the first book. That being said, I do like the half-soul-Sollux idea, and it works pretty well with the Locked Tomb's general theme of Lyctorhood, and how knotted the whole situation with Alecto, Gideon, and Harrow ends up being. (What is even going on with Nona) ~LOSS (4/13/24) @manorinthewoods asked: You know, if you hadn't already read Gideon the Ninth, I'd have recommended it as a good second liveblog. It really does fit your preferred sort of mystery. From all the clues presented, you could probably hit very close to the ultimate solution to the Lyctoral puzzle - as close as anybody could be expected to get. ~LOSS (25/4/24) @manorinthewoods asked: The Locked Tomb's prose is pretty good. On occasion, it happens to chime with a sound of 'Homestuck', but I only recall that twice so far in my reading. I like the skelebook. ~LOSS (27/4/24)

Once again, I'm glad my hidden agenda - convincing this blog's entire readership to check out The Locked Tomb - is bearing fruit.

I agree! TLT does occasionally give Homestuck vibes, presumably because its author is a fan. For the most part, though, its prose style is all its own.

Anonymous asked: Reference to American culture: the sphere of Jade's home dropping and the timer that preceded it are references to the Times Square Ball, an annual event held every New Year's Eve. A giant ball descends down a pole at 11:59 PM and reaches the bottom at 12:00 AM, January 1. I believe that you can figure out why the reference was included in the first place. Anonymous asked: btw the gamzee page was released on new years. ‘the miracle of a new beginning’ is the new year and the lab dropping is supposed to be a reference to the ball dropping in times square

Some America Lore here that I wasn't aware of.

I was wondering exactly what Gamzee meant by 'a new beginning'. Maybe Alternia practices the tradition as well.

@omnilew asked: the way you speculate and go indepth into sburbs features and how it affects the kids, made a silly headcanon that your kidsona is reading the comic while playing out their session though this is mainly because "Eventually, we were bound to cross a couple of wires that should never have been allowed to touch" kinda references chargerkind

I like it! Maybe my 'sonas have access to a more in-depth version of Rose's walkthrough, and are adding their own commentary in quiet moments during their own adventures.

@manorinthewoods asked: Your excitement over the resurrection of Dream Jade gave me a form of suspenseful mirth. Seeing how happy you were at her resurrection, while also knowing exactly what came of it, is perhaps textbook dramatic irony. If only you'd read a panel further… ~LOSS (26/4/24)

She looked so happy to be back, too! That certainly didn't last long.

She was prototyped with a smiling corpse, though. Maybe that was just her 'default' expression, and it vanished as soon as her actual feelings asserted themselves.

@thetinygladiator asked: 'I hadn’t really thought about Sally’s ectobiological parent - but now that I am, I think the funniest possible option is that it’s her landlady.' okay but i just gotta say… this immediately makes me think about how that relates to the house-building aspect. Like, with the giant tower, are they gonna charge the Imps for rent? That might work, honestly. Where do imps even live? Bet they don't have good AC or Wi-Fi, lemme tell ya.

300 GRIST/DAY NO CRUXTRUDER NO ALCHEMY NO PETS

@manorinthewoods submitted: How many computers would you have on your person if you were playing Sburb? Jade recommends at least 5. I say I'd have a laptop, phone, a spare of both of those, and computer gloves if I need to compute really fast. Also spare gloves. Speaking of the phone - is it possible for people to put phones in their pockets? Given Karkat (and a minor gag in Act 6), we can assume that it's difficult or uncommon to carry items without using the Sylladex - or maybe it's just tied to your dexterity, and you have to hold things gingerly to avoid captchaloguing them when you pick them up. On the other hand, there's no issues with accidentally storing something you've unstored and are using - so how does the Sylladex actually work? Do people just instinctively store their items once they're done using them? Is it difficult to avoid storing something you aren't using anymore? Can you stuff phones in pockets? If not, then why develop a PDA in the first place? Given the Sylladex, it should be much more commercially viable to make a tablet. ~LOSS (24/4/24)

Since Karkat can physically pick up a book, you can probably pocket your gear - although maybe there's a difference between holding an object and trying to add it to a physical 'inventory'. Either way, the issue is easily circumvented by employing wearable tech, like the kids do.

As depicted in my alchemy binge, my primary computing device would be the Pocket Holodex, which can remote into any computer in my sylladex.

In addition, my Modular Ring shirt is also a computer, which can presumably be augmented by adding extra mod1ules over time. I'd probably also captchalogue every computer in my apartment, of which I currently have six.

I'd be exploring the Medium with a minimum of seven computers, plus one pseudo-computer, plus a phone. Jade would certainly approve.

@iris-in-the-dark-world asked: the tension in act 5 act 2 is perfect, i love it. maybe even moreso on rereads, the foreshadowing and generally ominous vibes always get to me @heliotropopause asked: You're getting to the part where the comic really starts hitting its stride. This'll be fun.

The ever-present countdown certainly adds a degree of urgency to the situation.

I'm really liking the pacing of this current act, as things slowly progress towards some critical point - one which, for now, is still shrouded in mystery.

Anonymous asked: Forwarding another ask for the person with no account ~DJ: Eridan's deal seems to be based on Wizardry Herbert - a proto-Homestuck work by Hussie. A parody of Harry Potter dealing with whether magic is real. [] But Methods of Rationality began in February 2010, so "Harry Potter but obsessed with science" might have also been an intentional reference to that.-RM @heliotropopause asked: Eridan Ampora and the Methods of Rationality sure is an idea for a fanfic. He'd be so bad at it.

Eridan would be an extremely funny choice for a ratfic protagonist. He'd be so smarmy about it - and thus, a perfect addition to their ranks.

What would the definitive Homestuck ratfic be called, do you think? I think Tool-Assisted Speedrun would be a decent choice.

@killedthekat asked: An interesting thing about doomed timelines is how they serve to prevent stable loop metagaming. As a basic example, in a typical stable time loop scenario, if you observe yourself unharmed in the future, you can throw yourself into high danger high reward situations and know that probability will twist itself into whatever improbable knot it needs to do to keep you safe. But in homestuck if you lean too hard on predestination you just get shunted into a doomed timeline for your trouble.

It's true. Timehopping just isn't fun in Homestuck, as you're constantly walking a tightrope, desperately trying to stay in the one timeline that might not get you killed.

It's a good way to prevent time-travelers from becoming overpowered - something which is probably necessary for a comic which makes such heavy use of the concept.

Anonymous asked: Now that you're updating while HS^2 is, I've realised that while I'm barely keeping up with ^2, I just yelled "Oh! Upd8!" out loud when I checked your blog, so to me? You're the real continuation of Homestuck

What an honor!

For veterans of the comic, this blog is more Homestuck: Revisited than Homestuck 2. As a woman who would much rather watch video essays about old Simpsons episodes than new seasons of the show, I completely understand why some would prefer the latter.

@manorinthewoods asked: I've since finished Worm. I think Sophia's by far the best Vriska candidate. Lisa, Amy, and Colin are less so, I think. ~LOSS (21/4/24)

Oh, nice, you got all the way through it! Worm is an absolute behemoth, and I know a lot of people who started it, and gave up halfway through.

Sophia is likely the closest match to Vriska in personality. I agree with an earlier comment, though, that the most Vriska-like character in terms of audience reaction is probably Amy.

Anonymous asked: Cannot believe someone would propose a Homestuck/Locked Tomb scenario and leave Gamzee as part of a spare pairing, when the Homestuck fic The Serendipity Gospels, written by the author of The Locked Tomb, stars Gamzee and Terezi in the proto-necromancer/cavalier dynamic. Absolutely appropriate to have Gamzee as Ninth though, since his facepaint is the direct ancestor to Harrow's. Gamzee and Terezi is such a funny pairing to go with. I'm certainly looking forward to checking out The Serendipity Gospels when I'm done with the comic - both to compare it to Homestuck and to the Locked Tomb.

As am I. Apparently it was left unfinished - but considering how long this liveblog is taking, maybe Taz will have updated by the time I'm done!

Wishful thinking, of course, but I live in hope.

@bladekindeyewear submitted:

(I started Dragon's Dogma 2 a couple weeks ago and did my best to a Gideon Nav pawn (NPC ally), facepaint and two-hander and all, and the "Jaunty Straightforward" voice selection has been EXTREMELY distracting / game-improving because her voice and attitude chatting beside my player all the time sound almost straight out of the audiobook.)

Damn, you really captured her essence. Pawn is a very fitting title for her, too :(

@manorinthewoods asked: On the topic of blood color names - Blue through Purple were renamed in Hiveswap. Originally, Vriska was Cerulean, Equius was Blue, and Gamzee was Indigo - which I like more than their modern incarnations. I think 'bronze' might also be a Hiveswap thing, although I won't dispute it, and rust might have been renamed to burgundy? Maybe burgundy is a synonym. Idk. ~LOSS (4/13/24)

I think I prefer the likes of olive, indigo and bronze over more generic terms like green, blue and brown, which would quickly lead to confusion.

Vriska's blood, for example, is also a shade of blue, so it would be a little strange if blue blood was an official term, but it didn't apply to her.

@mxamericanblue asked:hi i have been absolutely BINGING your live blog rn and i gotta just get this out this is so so cool watching you react has been giving me so much joy, i don't have a computer so i can't really experience homestuck again casually when i want to but watching you read it and react and THEORIZE??? omg your theories have been so fuckin killer it's given me a new appreciation for Hussie as a story teller and how spectacular this comic truly was thank you for this, i've been having a grand ol' time, and it's all cuz of u

Thank you! I feel like I've been theorizing a lot less since I came back from my hiatus, mostly because the comic hasn't introduced many big mysteries recently - aside, of course, from Aradia's unexplained explosion.

(Pre-posting update: Since first drafting this ask, my statement above is no longer true, as Gamzee has been revealed as Homestuck's most important character. What the actual fuck.)

@lilietsblog asked: re fifth house aradia: she's an archeolodist :)

Oh, shit, you're right.

Maybe she'd be in more danger from the Lyctor than I thought.

@ben-guy asked: Vriska's ascension to god-tier is, in my personal opinion, one of the most visually striking scenes in all of Homestuck. Also, one of the panels you didn't include (which is understandable w/ Homestuck lol. Sacrifices for the sake of brevity) specifically the one where she has him write "[…] plenty of time for that l8r" above her head… Think about the position she would have had to move him to to write that.

…jesus, Vriska. You can't just do that!

@martinkhall asked: "What is treasure but a fortune, waiting to be found?" Or stolen if you're the THIEF of Light.

Son of a bitch. That's why she's a pirate, isn't it?

Because a Thief of Light is someone who steals fortunes!

@manorinthewoods asked: Eidolons. A species purpose-built to play Sburb, while breaking every mechanic you can solely with biology. Eidolons don't sleep, and live in a hive mind. Their psychologies are very poor at recognising distinct things, with Eidolons seeing the world more in terms of a blur of colors and shapes. They thus have a very difficult time understanding Classes and Aspects, never mind that their mythology never involved deities, and they never invented chess, or games of any sort… ~LOSS (15/4/24)

The idea of a species engineered from the ground up to be Players does raise the interesting question of whether there was a first species to play Sburb.

Of course, with all the time-loops we've been working with, there might not have been a first species - unless Sburb was 'created' in some sort of metatemporal space, 'before' any loops were put in place.

@manorinthewoods submitted: You are very good at analysing Vriska's psyche. Vriska's character was executed very well, I think, and I would hate her with a burning passion platonically but to a high degree if I knew her in real life. She's just… really horrible. She's a horrible person. And half her shtick is that she keeps evading consequences in spite of that. All of her mental torture of Tavros, for instance, ends in her becoming the most powerful player in the session. What sort of justice is that, Terezi? ~LOSS (15/4/24)

She hasn't entirely evaded consequences, but it's undeniable that none of the consequences she's experienced have actually stopped her from doing the things she does.

She's lost an arm, an eye, she's been beaten up, she's bled to death, and literally none of it has caused her to let up on Tavros, even a little. Letting up on Tavros, to her, would be worse than any physical harm, because it would be an attack on her worldview.

@sanctferum asked: "Has anything come of this since, actually? I haven’t heard anything about this new comic – although I do scroll in the opposite direction any time I see a reference to Homestuck, so I guess it makes sense that I wouldn’t." - The general feel I've gotten from the community has been largely positive re: the new Homestuck 2 updates, which have indeed been happening. It's being updated once per month for now, so a lot slower going than non-hiatused OG Homestuck. But I'm enjoying it so far!

Once a month seems more sustainable than Hussie's original barely-believable pace for the comic. With Hussie no longer at the helm, expecting daily panels seems like a pretty big ask - most people don't have the time, money or energy do what Hussie did.

Anonymous asked: I don't know if you read UTDR fanfiction, but this Tavros and Vriska situation reminds me a little bit of Flowey Is Not A Good Life Coach. she's trying to push him to his limits and torture him into being someone who will kill, and he just won't. say, what's your read on comparing Flowey : Vriska?

Flowey does what he does because he's lost his emotions, but Vriska does what she does because she's consumed by her emotions.

If anything, Flowey has more in common with Aradia. They're both time-travelers whose ability to feel is somewhat compromised.

Anonymous asked: WHATTTTTT HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN BACK???????? I THOUGHT YOU WERE STILL ON A LONG ASS HIATUS BUT I JUST JOW DISCOVERED TUMBLR ISNT GIVING ME POST NOTIFICATIONS FOR YOU ANYMORE EVEN THOUGH I HAVE IT TURNED ON FOR YOU AND IT WORKS FOR OTHER BLOGS???? WHAT THE HELL. IM GOING INSANE.

This has happened before - but before, I was also removed from Tumblr's search function, which doesn't seem to be the case this time.

Is anyone else having issues with Wertsearch post notifications?

@elkian asked: So has anyone mentioned the godhood joke yet? (The God Tiers costumes have hoods. God Hoods. Badum-tish)

LOL, I did miss that.

Anonymous asked: Fun Homestuck fact! After writing Karkat, someone brought up that the writer of the 'Programming For [Expletive]s' book sounded a lot like Karkat. Andrew responded by telling them to imagine that it was actually written in all caps, basically canonizing that the 'Programming For [Expletive]s' book was written by Karkat. At least, I think that's how that went? ~LOSS (28/2/23)

And it could be any Karkat, too. Maybe one of the Karkats from a doomed timeline actually learned to code from Sollux, and became a famous ~ATH developer.

@morganwick asked: So with conversation 8=8 apparently taking place in the immediate aftermath of Rose destroying her gate (even technically during Descend), and Rose's attitude towards Kanaya in the part of it that we see, does that change how much you think her attitude in their previous conversations reflects her genuine mental state?

Oh yeah, no, I’m pretty sure she was genuinely in a bad mood here. Not really so much because of Kanaya, and I think the anger directed at Kanaya specifically was inauthentic, but the bad mood itself was real. She'd recently been injected with several months of traumatic memories, after all.

@manorinthewoods asked: That panel, of John in Vriska's 'fabulous outfit', is actually pretty neat, because you can see from the proportions how young John really is. He's small, not even fully a teenager yet, and he's been thrown into this chaotic world of humans and trolls, quadrants, violence and danger. Everyone in the game must be scared, in some degree, but none of them ever show it. It makes you wonder just how strong Skaia's children really are. ~LOSS (29/4/23)

Seriously. In what universe are 13-year-olds the people most qualified to make universes? Sburb has some very funny ideas about the optimal way it should be played.

I suppose this is something that had to be true, though, for Homestuck to be the coming-of-age story that Hussie wanted it to be.

Anonymous asked: My interpretation has always been that "the Blind Prophets" are actually just Terezi herself, in a time loop-y/predestined way. She's blind, her class is Seer, AKA prophet, and those are her numerals. Also, on an unrelated note, but to weigh in on your last ask, according to Latin conventions, the plural of lusus is lusus. Does Homestuck follow those conventions? Well…

Or, since there are two Seers in Homestuck, maybe they’re Terezi and Rose. She’s a Light Player, so a blinding would be suitably ironic.

Anonymous asked: re: captchalogue codes and the states of objects: it takes a relatively small change in the physical arrangement of atoms and whatnot to turn a ghost dad poster into, say, a little monsters poster, but the two have a relatively large difference between their conceptual nature. on the other hand, it would take a relatively large rearrangement of atoms to make the slime pogo ride be anything other than a slime pogo ride. perhaps this makes the former change state more easily than the latter? alternatively, maybe the captcha system just knows that all it would really take to make the slime pogo ride stop being covered in oil is soap and water and it's happy to do that on its own, but paper is harder to clean so it wants you to jump through more hoops for that one new question: if john had used his posters for alchemy before he was able to see their defacement, would the resultant objects also be beclowned? evidence seems to suggest that players with unawakened dream selves Will draw on their walls in their sleep and not see it until Ready, so there not being mechanisms in place to deal with that seems less likely than the alternative to me, but especially considering people who aren't them Can see the drawings, how??? would that even??? work??? what would've happened if john had done alchemy with the arms cake. i think it would be funny to see that

I think he’d still get the clown posters.

The kids keep accidentally making magic items, so It's clearly possible for someone to alchemize an object with properties they didn't foresee. Therefore, I think John would make what appears, to him, to be a normal poster - but Rose would still see it as it truly is.

Anonymous asked: any thoughts on what the horrorterrors are? beyond their (admittedly vague) intentions?

I think they’re a sign of the wider cosmology beyond Sburb - and, more specifically, a sign that there is a wider cosmology beyond Sburb.

I don't know if we'll necessarily get more expansion on them than we've already had, because their whole shtick is that they're unknowable. Needless to say, I'd love to be proven wrong.

[chiara-hotel]

𝐎𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝟐𝐧𝐝: 𝐃𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐇𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐬/𝐨

Characters: Chuuya, Fyodor, Poe, Ranpo, Sigma, Dazai & Nikolai

TW: Mentions of Fake Blood, Limbs, Clowns, Usual halloween decor

This idea is so cute so I ended up adding Chuuya & Nikolai aswell for the characters list. Anyway, hope you enjoy the hc & thank you for requesting!

—————————————————————————

Chuuya:

- Chuuya loves celebrations and celebrating

- Hes definitely the person to go all out on decorations (not even on purpose too, he just sees something he doesnt have and then buys it)

- Each halloween you open the seasonal storage to see a lot of new things

- Onto the actual decorating, he loves decorating with you

- Chuuya will make you fly with his ability to help you put up some of the decorations before letting you back down and kissing you

- You guys put up a lot of lights and other decor in higher places, just because chuuya likes using his ability on you and seeing you happy

- But don’t worry he also helps put up a lot of things

- Imagine your on a ladder and then he jumpscares you with one of the decorations

- Then comes a playful fight between the two of you

Fyodor:

- Fyodor doesnt own many decorations

- I’d say 3-6 with a few cobwebs + spiders

- But the decor he owns is definitely the scariest

- You guys are putting the decor up and all of a sudden you active it and jump back

- Fyodor would laugh at you before asking if you’re alright

- Then after that your staying behind him & helping out from the saftey of your boyfriend

- If they keep jumpscaring you he might get rid of them

- After you set up the things he owned, you bought a whole ton of decorations for inside the house

- So you suprised him with them and you convinced him to let you put them up

- He helps hold the ladder your standing on for lights, hands you stuff/decorations to add but he won’t put anything up

- He would never admit it but he finds it cute when you decorate the house

- Hugs while he’s standing there helping you, especially if he gave you the last item

Poe:

- Poe is the one who’d get scared at every single thing you bring out of your halloween decor box

- Hes hiding behind you and he’ll look adorable while hes doing it

- Definitely will help out for the non-scary decorations

- Karl also helps you guys out! and hes a big help

- Expect a lot of hugs from him (mostly from behind)

- Talks about making some new halloween mystery novels while you put up some of the decor

- Maybe he’ll even start writing if you have a little bit of decorations left

- Karl eats some of the candy though (and you guys spend 30 minutes trying to figure out where it went)

Ranpo:

- The one who doesnt find any of it scary

- Ranpo will complain at the beginning but eventually gives in just for you

- He doesn’t really help out though. Ranpo is your helper who will support by eating snacks at his desk

- On a side note: hide the halloween candy because this man will take them all

- Even if Ranpo finds a lot of the scary stuff stupid, he doesnt like some of the overly scary things

- Lights, Cobwebs, Pumpkins, Spiders, Bats are just a few things he loves

- Also those blow ups that you put in your front yard (he does that one, he must set it up)

- Ranpo expects a lot of praise for putting up the 1 decoration so give him some wont you?

- And when you’re finally done with all the decorations here expects a lot of cuddles for all of that work

Sigma:

- Sigma would want all of the decorations to be perfectly placed, so I think he would spend a lot of time on them

- Definitely overthinks the placements… a bit too much

- If hes deep in thought just hug him and ask him to help you with something else

- He likes cobwebs, carving pumpkins, jack-o-lanterns & fake graves/skeletons

- Nikolai probably gave him a clown decoration for fun so now you guys hang it at your door

- Sigma especially loves carving pumpkins with you. its relaxing and he also makes a lot of designs

- you guys definitely have the path leading to your house filled with jack-o-lanterns

- You also help him & nikolai decorate at the casino/DOA office

- Mostly because nikolai forces the both of you

- Nikolai would make comments about how cute you guys look together the entire time (and he won’t shut up until you guys kiss or something)

Dazai:

- When Dazai asks you to help him decorate his house, he doesn’t actually want to decorate-he just wants to spend time with you

- But hes so glad when you agree to decorate his house because that includes: Shoping trips, Spening more time with you, and much more

- Most of the time Dazai will complain about putting up the decorations as if it werent his idea

- The other times he’s actually helping you, maybe start bribing him with kisses to get him to work

- He likes mummys, caution tapes & fake blood for decorations

- Dazai will also secretly buy a while can of fake blood just to put on himself on “accident” he just wanted attention

- So you spend a whole hour in the shower together (you taking off the fake blood and cleaning him)

- The decorating will take 2 days or more with him because he gets lazy

Nikolai:

- Run away while you can

- Goes shopping for halloween decor with you only to pick out the scariest of items

- Your house is a literal haunted house

- Not to mention Nikolai bought some extra suprises for you to put around the house

- You got into he kitchen… Open your cupboard and BOOM a clown will pop up from the cupboard and scare you

- As for decorations he likes, scary ones, the decor with audio, clowns, blood, fake limbs but why have fake ones when he can get real limbs & blood easily

- Nikolai is also that one house on the street that has audio with screaming & scary sounds

- At this point everyones afraid of him

- Not to mention while decorating hes going to try to spook you at every possible moment

- As for the decorating itself hes prefect because of his ability!

- Nikolai can easily reach the high spots

- So yeah decorating with him will take the entire day

[heauxvibez]

D.U.F.F

warning: none, but it's based off one of my fav movies! Enjoy!

D.U.F.F.

An abbreviation for 'Designated Ugly Fat Friend'. Often in a group of women (usually adolescents) there will be a D.U.F.F. as a means to look better by comparison.

"I'll be back, I'm going to get some fresh air. It's kind of congested in here!" Emage hollered to her friends, her voice barely audible over the booming music. They just nodded, lost in the rhythm, not really paying their friend any mind.

Emage hated parties, and constantly asked herself why she had even attended. 

Oh yeah, because my friends forced me out of my bed and dragged me here.

Yeah, she could've easily left bearing in mind that she had driven her own car there, but her conscience wouldn't allow her to leave her friends, who were most likely drunk, by themselves.

"Can you get the hell out of my way?!" she groaned, shoving past the sweaty bodies that rubbed against her, disgusted by the fact that the perspiration of the random people dripped onto her skin. Gross. The congestion was becoming too much for her and if she didn't escape the overcrowded area, she was sure she'd pass out.

After jostling pass people for what seemed like forever, she eventually found a patio. There were a few people out there drinking, conversing, sticking tongues down each others throat, but she didn't care. She was able to breathe in fresh air.

It was a mystery how her friends were able to deal with people rubbing against their bodies, invading their personal space but maybe it was just because her personal space was something she had cherished. Anyone who had even dared to pass the boundaries she had set for herself, man, they were in for a rude awakening.

Emage discarded the hair tie from her wrist, throwing her sweated-out silk press hair into a ponytail. She fanned herself, exhaling as she leaned against the patio railing. Although she hated being there, she loved the view. It was late at night so the city lights lit up the sky, and the full moon illuminated the night faultlessly.

Clearing her mind, she thought about how she even ended up being at this party. Of course, her friends dragged her here, but how'd they even get invited? It was an enormous house occupied with celebrities, whom she didn't really care for that much. She was pretty sure some of them weren't too fond of her either, being that she had cursed at a few for bumping into her, not even sparing an apology. Who did they think they were? She was well aware of who they were but there was no room for disrespect no matter who they were.

Oh. Now she recalls. Her friend Bree got invited by some famous wrestler. She forgot his full name but remembers Bree calling him Jon, or Jimmy, or maybe both, who knows. Emage wasn't surprised when her friend said the dude approached her after a match she went to. With her beautiful 4a curls delicately resting on her shoulders, doe-like brown eyes, and supermodel figure, she was sure to catch some celebrity's attention.

"Hey, duff." she heard a deep voice call from a distance, breaking her from her thoughts.

There was no way the man was speaking to her, so she continued to gaze at the night sky. From her peripheral vision, she could spot the tall figure stand next to her and lean against the railing as well.

"Hello? Duff, I know you heard me calling your name.." she shook her head, a small smile emerging onto her face. She turned her head, facing him. The young woman had been prepared to tell him off but her words became stuck in her throat.

He resembled a Samoan deity with his strong, chiseled features and full beard. His lips were a soft shade of pink, practically inviting a kiss, and his brown eyes seemed to peer deep into her soul. His white T-Shirt was basic, but it clung snugly to his body, highlighting his divine muscles. The sight of the tall man was enough to melt a popsicle stick.

As quickly as she could, she snapped out of her thoughts before he could see her sweat.

"I don't know who you are, or who you think you are, but I'm definitely not the one. My name is not Duff, so I'd really appreciate it if you wouldn't call me that. Thanks," she snapped, her tone sharp.

A deep chuckle rumbled from the man's chest. He found the woman's feisty demeanor amusing, but her words didn't faze him.

"Well, since you don't know who I am," he said, throwing his fingers in the air to create air quotes. "I'm Roman Reigns, you know..WWE st-"

"Listen, I didn't come here to listen to you talk about yourself. I just wanted some fresh air away from the ignorant people at this party. But it seems I can't even get that," she interrupted, showing no interest in his self-introduction.

"Ooo, I've never met such a feisty duff," he remarked, a smirk playing on his lips.

The scowl deepened on her face, a clear warning sign, but he couldn't resist the amusement of provoking the short, angry woman.

"Why do you keep calling me that? What the hell is a duff?" she demanded, her weight shifted onto her right leg, arms crossed over her chest, exuding attitude.

"You don't know?" he questioned, one eyebrow raised in mock surprise.

"Obviously not, that's why I'm asking," she retorted, stating the obvious.

"Designated Ugly Fat Friend," he leered.

"Excuse me?" her eyes widened.

"That's what Duff means; Designated Ugly Fat Friend."

What? Did he just? I know he did not just?

Emage was taken aback. He didn't even know her, yet he was tossing insults her way.

"Did you just... did you just call me fat and..and ugly?" Her face flushed with anger.

He shook his head. "No, well, yes, but a Duff isn't always about being ugly or fat, or both."

Her expression remained unchanged, so he continued. "It's about being the least attractive one in the group. You know, the one who makes everyone else look better. Don't worry, every group has one."

Throwing her hands up in the air, she faked a sigh of relief. "Oh, thank you, Jesus, because that makes the term way less insulting."

"I'm not even sure if you're being serious about this. I mean, I'm decent... I-I'm not ugly," she stuttered. He attempted to pat her shoulder, but she quickly brushed him off.

"Of course you're not. You're cute, but your friends Bree and Asia are...sexy," he admitted, nonchalantly shrugging his shoulders.

If she could have reached up to grab him the hair he had slicked into a ponytail and slung him over the patio railing, she would have. What was the point of him coming over here anyway? Did he want to shatter her confidence to the ground? As if she didn't already have insecurities she was trying to work on.

She lunged for a nearby drink, snatching it from the grasp of a random individual.

"Hey, I was drinking that!"

Without hesitation, she flung the contents of the cup all over Roman, the Hennessy cascading over his white shirt, leaving a nasty brown stain.

"What the hell was that for?" he bellowed, his eyes wide with disbelief as he stared at the blotch on his shirt.

A heavy silence descended upon the patio as the surrounding crowd observed the confrontation between the small woman and the towering man.

"You need to chill," he chuckled, though the anger was evident in his voice.

She responded by lifting her middle finger before swiftly turning on her heel and exiting the area.

"Oh, yeah. Real mature!" he yelled after her retreating figure.

With a frustrated groan, Roman was left with the nauseating scent of spilled Hennessy under his nose. Feeling the weight of the party guests' curious stares, he glanced up.

"What the hell are you guys looking at?" he demanded, his irritation palpable as the onlookers quickly averted their gaze, earning a devious chuckle from the WWE star.

"Stupid duff..." he muttered under his breath.

--------------

Umm..200 words turned into 2 million. Lol this is just going to be a plain ole writing challenge at this point. Part 2?

Tags: @harmshake @southerngirl41 @spritelucozade @empressdede @alichesmi @msbigredmachine @blacst4r @sassginamillls @wrestlingprincess80 @saintmagx @theninthwonder