#so i feel like i need to BE somewhere that forces me to do that
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enhani-ki · 3 days ago
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fuckboy!ni-ki x reader ᡣ𐭩。ꪆৎ ˚⋅
warnings: smut, nsfw, cursing, mentions of killing, etc.
read part two here
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✶ fuckboy!ni-ki likes to lie and waste time.
a game player, smooth talker, and a liar when it suited him.
ni-ki knew exactly what to say to get what he wanted. he'd tell a girl she was the only one, that she was special, that he couldn't stop thinking about her, only to turn around and send the same message to someone else.
when he got what he wanted? he gets bored.
it was always the same: a few weeks, maybe a month if they were lucky, then he'd just start pulling away. no more sweet words, no more playful texts, it's dry responses and distance until they finally took the hint.
girls will cry, get angry, some even tried to plot revenge... but ni-ki? he never felt guilty.
✶ fuckboy!ni-ki doesn't believe in love.
he won't date and won't do relationships. he wasn't interested doing those late-night calls or good-morning texts, and the thought of commitment made him want to laugh.
he just likes a little flirting, a little fun, love songs, fucking then moving on before things got too serious.
they liked the chase, thinking they could be the one to change him, and the idea of being the exception.
but there are no exceptions. he'd rather catch a body than catch feelings for somebody he barely knows.
ni-ki was always clear about what he wanted, even if they refused to believe him.
✶ fuckboy!ni-ki was impatient.
he's leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, and tight jaw. his fuck buddy is late and he hates waiting. it's not his style to sit around for anyone.
he sighed, running a hand through his hair. then, he spotted a familiar silhouette approaching.
finally.
and without hesitation, he reached out, grabbed your wrist, and pulled you into the shadows.
"you took your sweet time." he muttered, his lips brushing against your ear, whispering. "i should make you pay for making me wait, don't you think?" then ni-ki started talking dirty.
and your body in his grasp stiffened.
ni-ki smirked. he loves it when someone gets shy because of him but something was off.
there's no giggle or eager hands slipping on his body.
only silence.
ni-ki pulled back, his eyes locked on your wide, terrified eyes.
you're a face he had never seen before.
"who the fuck are you?!" he blurted out.
"i- i'm sorry!" you stammered, breathing heavily in shock.
ni-ki's mouth opened to say something but before he could, you ran away, you ran so fast that your belongings spilled onto the floor in your rush to escape.
ni-ki cursed under his breath, running a hand down his face.
fuck.
not only he's not gonna have sex but he also accidentally just harassed a complete stranger.
✶ fuckboy!ni-ki got mad, completely ghosting and blocked his fuck buddy's number.
✶ fuckboy!ni-ki wasn't the type to dwell on things. if he ever made a mistake, he moved on. simple.
what happened with you? that bothered him.
maybe it was the way your eyes looked at him, it was pure fear, like he was some kind of monster... or maybe it was because he had never been the kind of guy to force himself onto someone.
he's cocky, sure. shameless, absolutely.
but he never needed to resort to shit like that and now, he just left a random girl traumatized.
great.
ni-ki took your abandoned things from his bag, staring at them in irritation. he could've just tossed this somewhere and let you deal with it, but it's the least he could do, right?
he looked for you everywhere and when he finally spotted you walking down the hall, he didn't hesitate.
"hey."
your body stiffened instantly when you saw him, you gulped and turned to leave.
ni-ki rolled his eyes and reached out, catching your wrist before you could escape. "relax," he sighed. "i'm just here to give you these…"
you hesitated but quickly grabbed your things and muttered, "thanks."
he let go but he's also expecting you to run again though he's not letting you off easily.
his fingers wrapped around your wrist again, "i'm not done..." he said. "why are you in such a hurry?"
"i gotta go…"
"oh, really?" ni-ki scoffed but released his grip. "fine. look, i'm sorry about earlier. i thought you were someone else."
"your girlfriend?"
ni-ki chuckled, scratching the back of his head. "no, i don't do girlfriends." he teased but it wasn't meant to joke or seduce. "you forgive me?"
you smiled slightly before nodding but then you tilted your head, curious. "...but why would you say something like that to someone who isn't your girlfriend?"
he smirked and leaned in again, so close you could smell his cologne.
"mind your own business, won't you?" he said and walked away.
✶ fuckboy!ni-ki found you at his playground.
parties were all the same. loud music, flashing lights, people pressed up against each other like they forgot what personal space was.
ni-ki was used to it, it's his playground.
he's sitting with his friends, a smirk on his face while some girl clung to his arm, twirling her hair and giggling at everything he said, even though he wasn't even trying to be funny.
"so, ni-ki..." she purred, leaning in close, "when are we getting out of here?"
ni-ki exhaled through his nose, he's not in the mood yet and ready to give a half-assed answer until his eyes flickered to the entrance where you walked in.
huh.
you walked in, looking... insanely good wearing a dress that hugged all the right places. it made ni-ki's fuck boy brain short-circuit for a second.
the girl beside him was still talking, but he wasn't listening. his smirk twitched and his interest became completely derailed.
"wait here..." ni-ki muttered, removing the girl's arms off of him without another word.
she sputtered in protest but ni-ki was already gone, slipping through the crowd, with eyes locked on you.
he "accidentally" bumped into you, almost knocking you off balance. his hands instinctively gripped your waist to steady you.
"wow… you're-"
you covered yourself quickly, your arms crossing over your chest, and sent him a glare before he could even think about finishing that sentence
"what do you want?" you asked, unimpressed.
he blinked, momentarily thrown off.
"nothing." he recovered quickly, slipping his hands back into his pockets.
you sighed. "have you seen my friend, f/n?"
ni-ki shook his head. "i have no idea who that is," he admitted, then quickly added, "i'll help you look."
his hand landed on your shoulder but you instantly shrugged it. ni-ki scoffed at your unfriendly action, "seriously?" he asked, rolling his eyes but followed anyway, trailing beside you like he's trying to find his friend too.
he was enjoying himself, honestly.
his eyes kept drifting to you. the way your hips swayed slightly as you walked, the way your hair swung when you turned your head... it was so distracting and ni-ki found himself grinning.
he wasn't even gonna try to flirt anymore, he was just thrilled to be by your side.
you stopped in a less crowded part of the house, scanning the room, then you were pulling at your dress subtly, adjusting the hem like you're clearly uncomfortable.
ni-ki clicked his tongue "w- why are you wearing that if you're uncomfortable?"
you turned to him sharply, eyes narrowing. "why do you care?!"
"why are you so mad at me?"
"'cause i don't know what you're trying to do."
"i'm not trying do do anything to you!"
you glared at him again, adjusting your dress.
"tch." ni-ki removed his jacket and threw it at your face.
"what the hell-"
ni-ki rolled his eyes, already regretting being nice. "wear that, idiot."
you hesitated.
he sighed and turned away, "do whatever you want."
you slipped the jacket over your shoulders then ni-ki peeked at you from the corner of his eyes where he saw you practically drowning in his jacket. you looked so tiny in it, he had to bite the inside of his cheek to stop himself from smiling.
you finally spotted your friend near the drinks table, "f/n!" you called out, relieved.
your friend turned with a smile then her eyes immediately widened when she saw who was standing beside you.
"oh. my. God." she gasped, barely even acknowledging you because she's looking at ni-ki.
ni-ki smirked at her reaction, clearly used to it. "hi. what's up?"
you friend actually looked starstruck for a second before shaking herself out of it.
"why are you with him?" she whisper-yelled at you, leaning in like you just brought home a stray cat but the dangerous kind.
"he just helped me find you." you replied, and without another word, you grabbed her arm and practically dragged her toward the exit.
"bye, ni-ki!" your friend waved at him.
ni-ki chuckled, grinning while watching the two of you rush off.
as soon as you and your friend stepped outside, she immediately started her interrogation, eyes gleaming.
"okay," she breathed, grabbing your shoulders. "do you know how many girls would kill to be in your position?!"
you groaned. "it's not what you think!"
she gasped, dramatically covering her mouth. "wait… did you do it?"
you blinked. "what do you mean by it?"
she wiggled her eyebrows and giggled, playfully slapping your arm. "you know what I mean~"
you eyes widened in disgust. "i would never do it with anyone!"
she laughed as you pushed her lightly, still giggling like a schoolgirl.
"okay, okay, i believe you..." she teased. "but still, damn. ni-ki even gave you his jacket?"
she said, snatching the sleeve of the jacket and sniffed it.
you grabbed it back.
she gasped dramatically, pressing a hand to her chest. "it smells expensive… sexy, actually."
you gave her a disgusted look again and tightened the jacket around you, trying to ignore the fact that, yeah, it did smell good.
"don't get so weird about this." you warned.
she only laughed, linking her arm through yours. "now tell me more about you and ni-ki."
"there is no me and ni-ki!"
✶ fuckboy!ni-ki suddenly wants to prove that he wasn't actually the asshole you thought he was but ended messing it up.
he told himself it was over. he gave back your stuff, apologized (which, honestly, he never did for anyone), even gave you his jacket, and that should've been the end of it.
he tried not to be pushy 'cause he knew better now, but he still found ways to be around you. if he saw you at school, he'd just give a casual nod. if you were in the cafeteria, he'd sit nearby, pretending it was a coincidence. and if you caught him looking, you'd glare and he would quickly look away.
he was used to people chasing him, used to girls who always wants something from him, not someone who wanted nothing to do with him. and when you made it clear, he said "you really think the worst of me, huh?"
you crossed your arms. "can you blame me?"
ni-ki huffed a laugh. "i don't even do shit to you."
but then, you might just be playing hard to get, right?
he smirked, grabbing your phone and held it high.
"ni-ki, i swear- give it back!"
you jumped, reaching for it, but he was way taller. he tilted his head, watching you struggle, and then...
fuck it.
because he's ni-ki, he's reckless, stupid and didn't think things through... he kissed you.
it was quick, barely even a brush of lips.
he pulled back, expecting a reaction, but not the one he got.
your face twisted in disbelief before you hit him.
you smacked his chest repeatedly, pushing him, "what is wrong with you?! that was my first kiss, stupid!"
ni-ki's eyes widened. "wait- what? seriously?"
you fought back your tears, shoving him one last time before storming off. "don't talk to me ever again!"
✶ fuckboy!ni-ki is doing something completely out of character.
he didn't plan to kiss you. it just happened like some dumb, impulsive thought he acted on before his brain could catch up.
he wanted to reach out but what the hell was he even supposed to say?
"hey, my bad for stealing your first kiss lol?"
"i didn't think it'd be that big of a deal."
"wait, you really never kissed anyone before?"
shit, no. that was all dumb as hell.
for the next few days, ni-ki is not being himself.
he forgot his usual girls, he hadn't even been with anyone ever since he met you.
"dude, what's up with you?" one of his friends asked.
ni-ki just shrugged, flipping his phone in his hands. "nothing."
you were avoiding him like he was some virus. you look the other way when he walked past or really refusing to even glance in his direction.
so, fine. he swallowed his pride and showed up at your house.
you opened the door, immediately frowning when you saw him. "what do you want?"
ni-ki exhaled, rubbing the back of his neck.
"i'm sorry, alright?" he said quickly. "i was being an idiot, i didn't think, and..."
"you're apologizing?"
ni-ki groaned, shoving his hands in his pockets. "yeah..."
you crossed your arms, unimpressed. "took you long enough."
he sighed, stepping closer. "i didn't know it was your first kiss..."
you rolled your eyes, "whatever."
then ni-ki hugged you.
you gasped, trying to make him let go. "what- what are you doing?!"
ni-ki just chuckled, resting his chin on your shoulder. "saying sorry?"
"by hugging me?!"
"would you rather i kiss you again?"
"ABSOLUTELY NOT!"
he laughed again, pulling back slightly to look at your flustered expression.
you scowled. "you're such a pervert."
his smirk returned, teasing. "you liked being hugged though."
you smacked his chest hard. "GO HOME, NI-KI."
he grinned, backing away "but we're good now, right?"
you didn't answer, just slammed the door in his face.
ni-ki chuckled to himself, breathing in relief as he walked away.
✶ fuckboy!ni-ki is trying his best to please you... and hold himself back from being a fuck boy.
ni-ki has a serious problem. these days, he found himself doing things that were completely out of character.
like waiting outside your classroom when he swore he was just going to pass by, remembering your usual order at the café near school and handing it to you in front of everyone like it was no big deal, and making sure you got home safe after study sessions.
he wasn't even trying to get anything out of it because for once in his life, he actually wanted to do things the right way. he wanted to get a girlfr- girl friend. a friend that's a girl. that's all.
totally normal. nothing weird.
but it's so frustrating because you weren't even making it easy for him.
you still roll your eyes at him when he tried to be nice. you still gave him unimpressed looks when he offered to carry your things. and the other day, when he casually said you looked cute, you hit him with a deadpan, "what do you want?"
like, damn. he was actually trying here.
then… you'll also do things that completely messed him up.
your cheeks puff out whenever you concentrate, making him desperately want to bite them.
or how we would notice your tits slightly jiggle and move whenever you're running or simply writing. suddenly, he would have to leave the room for fresh air.
when you got mad at him, all fiery and stubborn, he had the worst urge to just shut you up, not in a way that was appropriate for a friend.
ni-ki groaned, running a hand down his face.
his first thought?
"God, i wanna touch."
his second thought?
"i need help."
you left something at school. suddenly, he showed up at your door, handing your things back along with a bottle of your favorite drink.
you looked at him confused, ni-ki rolled his eyes, pushing the bag into your hands.
"you… bought this for me?"
"don't be weird!" he grumbled, rubbing the back of his neck. "just take it."
you stared at him for a long moment before stepping aside. "you wanna come in?"
ni-ki shook his head, he knew himself. he knew that the second he got too comfortable, his usual instincts would kick in... he would start flirting, the way he always found a way to get what he wanted.
instead of smirking and stepping inside like he usually would, he just shoved his hands in his pockets, exhaling.
"nah," he said. "i'll just see you tomorrow, okay?"
a small smile formed at your lips. "thanks, ni-ki."
he turned away quickly, waving a hand over his shoulder while his heart raced so fast. "welcome."
✶ fuckboy!ni-ki who can't figure out if you're just a damsel in distress or actually bossing him around
ni-ki likes to think he's a pretty capable guy. he's used to girls needing him for things... carrying their bags, opening their drinks, giving them rides home. he didn't mind. it boosted his ego.
but every time you asked for his help, he couldn't tell if you were actually helpless or if you're just treating him like some personal assistant.
you handed him your backpack without a word while texting on your phone.
ni-ki blinked. "uh… am i supposed to carry this?"
"yeah." you replied without even looking at him.
"…please?"
you gave him a look. "i could say please, but you're already holding it."
then later you stared at a vending machine like it had personally offended you.
"what, it didn't give you your snack?"
"no..." you huffed, crossing your arms. "it won't take my bill."
ni-ki sighed, pulling out his own money and sliding in a new bill. the machine beeped, and he pressed your selection.
the the snack dropped, you grabbed it, turned on your heel, and walked away.
the way you pouted when you struggled with something, how your brows furrowed in concentration, the tiny pleased smile you gave when things worked out in your favor... it pleased him too.
so when you showed up next to him one day, shaking your phone with an exaggerated sigh, ni-ki already knew what was coming.
"my phone is dead," you said.
he smiled "finally."
you glared, "give me your charger."
ni-ki scoffed in disbelief. "you don't even pretend to be polite anymore!"
you pouted. "please?"
his eye twitched. you're so annoying. cute but mostly annoying.
ni-ki pulled out his charger and handed it to you. "i swear, don't lose it."
"i never lose things." you said, already plugging it in.
"liar." he shook his head. "you lost your AirPods case last week."
you laughed and waved him off. "that was one time."
ni-ki smiled, he felt that stupid warmth creep up his neck again when he heard your laugh.
✶ fuckboy!ni-ki asked you to work out with him.
you regret this.
you had never worked out before but when ni-ki said, "come on, i'll go easy on you." you refused to back down.
big mistake.
now, here you are, struggling to breathe properly while ni-ki, just finished another set of weights, stood there looking like some Greek god.
sweat clung to his skin, his black shirt sticking slightly to his toned torso. his hair was pushed back from his forehead and sharp jawline got even more defined.
you gulped.
then he caught you staring. his lips curled into a grin. "like what you see?"
you quickly looked away. "shut up."
he only laughed.
later, back in your room, you are dying.
your muscles ached in places you didn't even know existed. you lay on your bed, groaning while ni-ki sat next to you, arms crossed.
"you're overreacting." he said.
"you tricked me," you accused. "you said you'd go easy."
"i did!" he defended, snickering.
you groaned again, moving slightly only to wince at the soreness in your legs.
ni-ki smiled. "want a massage?"
you looked at him. "you give massages?"
he smirked. "i'm really good with my hands."
you squinted and he laughed. ni-ki began to straddle your back, hands pressing into your tense shoulders.
the moment he started kneading your muscles, your body melted.
"oh… that's so good…" you whispered, voice airy.
ni-ki chuckled. "i am good, huh?"
"ah, ye- yeah, it feels so good." you mumbled, already slipping into a relaxed haze.
ni-ki's hands stilled for a second.
your voice sounded… weirdly suggestive.
he bit back a laugh. he knew you were just tired, but hearing you say that in such a soft, breathy tone? hmm.
he kept massaging, feeling the tension slowly leave your body. it wasn't long before your breathing evened out.
"…did you just fall asleep?" he muttered.
silence.
ni-ki shook his head, you looked so peaceful, face slightly turned to the side, lips parted slightly.
his eyes trailed to your exposed neck, ni-ki's heart pounded while reaching out, gently brushing your hair aside.
and before he could stop himself, he leaned in, pressing soft, featherlight kisses along the curve of your nape up to your neck.
your body reacted on instinct, tilting slightly, giving him more access.
a soft, sleepy moan escaped your lips.
ni-ki's eyes widened, heart slamming against his ribs.
"…a- are you awake?" he asked.
silence.
panic surged through him. he quickly grabbed the blanket and draped it over you, standing up so fast he nearly tripped.
ni-ki ran home and the second his front door swung open, he stumbled inside, slamming it shut behind him. his fingers went straight to the waistband of his sweatpants, tugging at it while his mind still clouded with you.
the soft moan you let out, the way your body naturally tilted into his touch, the warmth of your skin beneath his lips.
his jaw clenched as he glanced down at cock, his sweatpants doing a poor job at hiding the evidence of just how badly he was losing control.
ni-ki groaned, balling his fists, fighting the instinct to just take care of it.
he grabbed his phone, scrolling through his contacts.
the phone barely rang before a familiar, flirty voice answered.
"hey, ni-"
"how fast can you get here?"
the girl on the other end giggled. "mhm, about 30, 40 minutes-"
click. that's too late.
ni-ki exhaled sharply, tossing his phone onto his bed. his hand ran through his hair, feeling the frustration throughout his body. he pulled his sweatpants back up, shaking off the temptation.
and even though he had just worked out, he grabbed a set of weights and dropped to the floor, blasting music at full volume.
push-ups. sit-ups. anything to burn the tension off.
✶ fuckboy!ni-ki looked like shit the next day.
you burst out laughing the moment you saw him.
he looked rough. dark circles under his eyes, hair a mess, slouched in his chair like he barely made it out of bed.
"what happened to you?" you grinned, poking his arm.
ni-ki groaned, brushing you off. "it's your fault."
"wha- my fault? what did i do?"
he turned his head away, eyes shutting like he couldn't even look at you right now. "just… drop it."
you leaned in, pushing him playfully. "come on, tell meee." you pouted. "fine, then at least let me make it up to you! what can I do?"
ni-ki scoffed, tilting his head back against the chair. "there's nothing you can do."
when class ended and you followed him towards the gym storage room.
"ni-ki!" you called, slipping inside right behind him.
he turned around just as the door slammed shut. the click of the lock echoed through the small space.
"…are you kidding me?" ni-ki muttered.
you tried the handle. locked.
ni-ki groaned, he sat and started rubbing his face. "i really don't have the energy for this right now."
you stepped in front of him, with hands on your hips. "you seriously won't tell me what's wrong?"
and instead of answering, ni-ki suddenly reached out, gripping your waist and pulling you close.
you froze as he rested his head against your stomach, arms wrapped around you.
"just shut up, will you?" he murmured, voice muffled against your shirt.
you brought your hand to his hair, your fingers brushing the strands. you began to comb through them slowly, your touch gentle and rhythmic.
his body relaxed against you, the tension in his grip softening. ni-ki hummed.
you began to smile while playing with his hair, twirling a few strands between your fingers before smoothing them out.
it's sweet... but your legs were starting to ache.
"okay... maybe just a little longer." you thought, shifting your weight slightly to ease the pressure on your feet.
ni-ki didn't move. if anything, his grip on your hips tightened, like a sleepy child clutching a favorite pillow.
your legs began to tremble faintly, you hoped ni-ki would notice.
but nothing, he was like a cat curled up in the perfect sunbeam.
you sighed quietly, glancing down at him. your hands still in his hair as you debated your options. "maybe if i lean a little, he'll..."
ni-ki let out a low hum, his grip loosening just slightly as he shifted his head. for a split second, you thought your prayer had been answered, until he wrapped his arms fully around your waist, pulling you down to his lap.
"ni-ki!" you hissed, barely catching yourself with your hands as you stumble forward.
his eyes cracked open, a sleepy smirk tugging at his lips. "why are you so tense?"
"because you're treating me like a body pillow!"
"you're comfy."
you groaned, glaring at the top of his head. ni-ki added "you should've leave me alone." the smirk of his returned as his arms tightened around you once more.
"you know..." he began, "let's just skip class, you wanna sleep with me?"
your eyes widened, your brain short-circuiting at his words. "wha-what do you mean sleep with you?" you stuttered, leaning back instinctively.
ni-ki flicked your forehead lightly, his smirk growing. "not like that, you idiot." he said, shaking his head in disbelief. "i meant just sleeping. me, you, sleeping here. eyes closed. that's it."
you laughed awkwardly. "right..."
✶ fuckboy!ni-ki realized that he doesn't want to be your friend.
ni-ki got annoyed the second you started talking about jungwon. he had just introduced him but he noticed the way your eyes stared at his friend.
ni-ki subtly stepped in front of your view, blocking jungwon from your sight.
"hey! move!" you hissed, trying to peer around him.
and instead of budging, ni-ki covered your eyes with his hands.
"what the?!" you immediately grabbed at his wrists, struggling.
he kept his hands firmly in place, waiting until his jungwon hyung was completely out of sight.
and when he finally let go, you blinked, looking around. "where is he?"
ni-ki smirked. "i killed him."
you smacked his arm.
later, he was sitting on his bed while you lounged across from him, "he was really nice," you said, kicking your feet. "and kinda cute too, like a cat don't you think?"
"who do you like better, me or him?"
you blinked, confused. "what kind of question is that?"
"just answer."
"i like you," you said casually. "as my friend."
ni-ki scoffed. maybe he did want to be your friend before but that isn't the case anymore.
"i'm not your friend."
"yes, you are."
ni-ki grabbed your face with both hands, tilting your head up before slamming his lips onto yours, aggressively like he was trying to erase every thought you had of jungwon. "friends don't do this."
rough and desperate, his fingers pressed into your cheeks as he devoured your mouth, refusing to let you breathe while angling your head exactly how he wanted..
you gripped his shoulders, a muffled gasp escaping your lips as he deepened the kiss.
but ni-ki wasn't just kissing you, he was already claiming you.
he groaned against your lips, hands sliding to the back of your neck. holding you in place like he didn't want you slipping away and the second your lips parted slightly, he will deepen the kiss even more, biting at your bottom lip like he wanted to ruin you.
and when ni-ki finally pulled away, his lips were already swollen.
"you were saying?" ni-ki muttered, still holding your face.
you stared at him, breathless, lips tingling.
"…huh?"
he smirked, wiping his thumb over your lower lip before leaning in again.
"that's what i thought."
✶ fuckboy!ni-ki can't keep his hands off you.
you used to slap his hands away.
his arm over your shoulder? gone.
sneaking his hands around your waist? not happening.
grabbing your wrist to pull you closer? absolutely not.
but after the kiss, you started letting him and ni-ki noticed... of course, he did.
the first time you didn't push him away when he rested an arm around your shoulders, he almost did a double take.
you also didn't immediately escape when he pulled you onto his lap and when he linked his fingers with yours? he was expecting you to smack his hands, but you didn't.
"you're getting too comfortable," you muttered, feeling the warmth of his palm against yours.
ni-ki only smirked, giving your hand a squeeze.
"you're spoiling me, you know." he murmured against your ear, his breath sending a shiver down your spine. "if you keep this up, i'll start thinking you actually like me."
you scoffed, pushing his face half-heartedly.
ni-ki chuckled, leaning in like he was about to kiss you again. you froze, expecting the warmth of his lips- but he only brushed his nose against yours.
he pulled back, satisfied at the way you reacted. "see?"
your cheeks burned, frustration bubbling in your chest. you freed yourself from his grip and walked away, annoyed.
ni-ki watched you go with amusement. "where are you going?"
"far away from you."
✶ fuckboy!ni-ki ready to be yours.
"go put on a nice dress." ni-ki said over the phone.
you raised a brow. "why?"
he grinned. "because we're going to a restaurant."
you narrowed your eyes. "we are?"
"yeah." replied. "i made a reservation."
you got ready anyway. and when you stepped out in your dress, ni-ki scanned you up and down, "pretty." he murmured, before grabbing your hand and leading you outside.
before you both enter the restaurant, he suddenly intertwined his fingers with yours, "this is a date, okay?" he said, watching your reaction.
you blinked, caught off guard. "a what?"
ni-ki just grinned and dragged you inside.
your eyes widened as you looked around the table. all your favorite foods were there, plated beautifully under the dim, warm lights.
you turned to him, speechless.
ni-ki simply pulled out a chair for you, nodding at the seat.
the dinner was nice. way more than nice. he talked, he listened, and laughed with you.
"is this real? are you actually asking me out?"
"yes," ni-ki said, nodding. "i'm serious."
your chest tightened. you wanted to believe him but a part of you was scared.
what if he change his mind? what if you let yourself fall, only for him to break your heart once you bit into it?
ni-ki noticed your hesitation. he hated that you had to doubt him but he can't also blame why, though he wasn't just playing around.
he reached for your hand, bringing it to his lips. "just a bit more of your trust, okay?" he whispered against your skin.
you stared at him for a moment before finally leaning in to hug him.
he held you close, his lips curving against your shoulder. "you were mine the first time i kissed you."
you pulled back and laughed, playfully slapping his arm as you remembered how he stole your first kiss.
at his house, ni-ki captured your lips in a slow, passionate kiss. his mouth moved against yours, savoring every moment. he then pressed soft kisses along your jaw and down the column of your neck.
he found that sensitive spot that made you moan, he latched on and sucked harder, relishing the sound of your pleasure.
ni-ki started guiding you towards his bedroom, never breaking the kiss. once inside, he gently laid you down the bed, his body still pressed against yours.
he looked up at you with intense desire in his eyes, he asked breathlessly, "can i?" his eyes flicked down to your heaving chest.
you nodded, granting him permission. ni-ki didn't hesitate, slipping his hands under your shirt to fondle and tease your sensitive nipples through the thin fabric of your bra.
you arched into his touch, panting softly. he swallowed down your needy moans as he devoured your lips again, his tongue delving deep to clash against yours.
"friends won't do this, right?" ni-ki gasped between heated kisses. he tugged your shirt up and over your head, tossing it aside. his mouth moved, licking and sucking at your bare breasts.
your fingers tangled in his hair, holding him against you as he lavished all attention on your tits.
then ni-ki trailed kisses down to your stomach. hooking his fingers in your panties, he groaned at feeling soaked folds. "fuck, you're so wet for me already," he murmured, tracing his finger along your slit.
he buried his face between your thighs and began eating you out with your panties on. the fabric added delicious friction when his mouth sucked the sensitive bud, lapping at your clit.
you cried out, ni-ki removed your panties. the first swipe of his tongue directly on your pussy made you both moan. you taste even better than he imagined.
ni-ki growled. diving in for more like a starving man. his talented mouth had you writhing and gasping within moments.
he couldn't help but picture how tightly your virgin pussy would squeeze his cock when he finally got to slide inside you. he just know he wouldn't last long once he felt your walls gripping him.
his tongue darted in and out of your slick folds, making you to tug on his hair harshly.
ni-ki's fingers dug into the soft flesh of your thighs as he licked and sucked your clit with sloppy, desperate motions. sounds of your moans and gasps only served to fuel his own growing arousal with every passing second.
but he promised himself he could wait, for now, he was content to focus solely on pleasuring you, determined to make you feel as good as possible.
he sealed his lips around your clit and suckled hard, pressing two fingers inside as listened to the squelching sounds of your tight cunt.
you cried out, your back arching off the bed as he pumped them in and out. "ni-ki, i...i think I'm going to...ahhh!" your words dissolved into a wordless moan as he curled his fingers just right.
soon, your thighs clamped around his head as you came, your pussy clenching down on his fingers in rhythm.
ni-ki crawled up your trembling body to capture your lips in a deep kiss. "you taste so good," he murmured against your mouth. "i can't wait to be inside you." he said as he positioned himself at your entrance, rubbing the thick head of his cock at your wet folds "i'll be gentle, baby."
"tell me if it hurts too much." he added, slowly pushing forward when he felt your walls relaxed slightly.
you let out whimpers and sharp gasps, the sting of pain clouded your eyes with tears. ni-ki paused, giving you a moment to adjust to the new feeling of being filled inside completely.
the sensation of your pussy squeezing him was unlike anything else. he wanted to fuck the shit out of you, claim you so thoroughly that you'd never forget your first time but he loves you so he has to be patient and gentle with your innocent body.
your whimpers and moans filled the room, ni-ki's heart swelled seeing you like this, breathless, desperate... he can't believe that your body is his for the taking.
your cunt began to welcome him inch by inch.
"fuck, you feel amazing." he groaned, fighting the urge to hammer into you wildly.
starting with shallow thrusts, he gradually increased his pace, still mindful of your pain. and as ni-ki doing it deeper, he leaned down to capture your lips in a passionate kiss. "you're taking my cock so well..." he praised. "so fucking sexy."
your eyes fluttered shut and you tilted your head back in bliss, lost to the new pleasure and pressure building inside you. ni-ki felt your walls fluttering around him erratically. "ni-ki, i think- i'm- again..."
he knew you were close.
he increased his pace, deep strokes hitting that special spot inside you with every thrust. his hands gripped your hips enough to bruise as he fucked his dick into you, grunting with the effort of holding himself back from his own release.
and with a strangled cry, you came undone beneath him. ni-ki followed soon after with a moan of your name, pulling out before spilling his cum all over your thighs.
after cleaning up, ni-ki crawled back into bed and pulled you to his chest, kissing your face and neck but you moved and positioned yourself in his hips, where his hardening cock already poking on your sensitive, beaten entrance. "ready again?" he chuckled, wrapping his arms on your waist, his face nuzzling on your neck.
you giggled and sank down on him with a gasp. ni-ki groaned at the slick heat enveloping him again, making love with more confidence this time around.
rounds later, you're all sweaty and tired. ni-ki wondered dazedly if he'd turned his sweet, innocent girl into a sex addict. "you're so good, ni-ki..." you said, kissing him. to ni-ki, you looked like a sex god, your lips kiss-swollen, chest full of hickeys, your hair is a mess...
completely wrecked by him.
he wrapped his arms around your limp form and rolled to the side, careful not to dislodge from where he was still buried inside you.
and you're there thinking about worshipping ni-ki's body for the rest of your life.
"i'm going to fuck you all over again in the shower." he declared with a wicked grin. you answered with a moan that tells him it sounds like the perfect plan.
never knew sex could hit this different when it was out of love.
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a/n: this is too long lol! enjoy <3 read PART TWO HERE
similiar: read Nishimura Riki as your boyfriend
read Nishimura Riki as your classmate
read part-timers!ni-ki x reader
read part-timers!ni-ki x reader part 2
read snitch - reader x ni-ki
read touché - ni-ki x reader
read touché - ni-ki x reader part 2
read exes - ni-ki x reader
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stealvrth · 2 days ago
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𝐃𝐔𝐌𝐁 𝐁𝐀𝐁𝐘 ; lifeguard!j. jungkook x bimbo!fem!reader
summary : jungkook loves calling you his dumb lil baby, always so pretty and perfect for him. he loves how you willingly let him take you anywhere, anytime. but he especially loves when you go dumb on his dick.
warnings : nsfw, mean dom!jk, edging, overstim, thigh riding, p in v, unprotected sex, semi – public sex, degradation, dacryphilia.
wc : 1.1k
days like today were jungkook's favourite. days when you'd come and visit him at work in those cute little swimsuits, and bat your lashes innocently at him and ask "how's work koo? wanted to come 'nd visit you."
when the two of you would sit by the pool and talk about your day — you absolutely refusing to swim, since it would ruin your mascara, and you came to see him anyway.
other girls would give you looks, dirty looks, but they'd fly over your head and you'd simply smile and wave at them. he loved hearing you talk, eyes focused on your glossy lips.
you'd happily talk about anything and everything, and jungkook would happily listen. sometimes he'd try and coax you into the pool, but you'd adamantly decline.
"don't wanna swim," you'd whine, resting your head on his shoulder. "just wanna spend time with my boyfriend 'nd talk while sitting on the side of pool."
as you were now, looking at him with your doe eyes. "my makeup took to long, koo. i don't wanna ruin it after tryna look good for you. then it'd be a waste of time."
he smiles, pulling you in for a sloppy kiss and messing up the gloss you'd applied so carefully to your lips. "i think you look gorgeous with ruined make up, baby." he leans in, kissing up against the shell of your ear and nipping gently at the skin. "i can even ruin it for you, if you like."
you pout, or try to, trying to push him off you. "but kooki~!" you whine, gasping quietly when he begins to suck at your neck. "you always do this.. at some point you need to start fixing it for me. not everyone is gonna think i look pretty with ruined make up."
"who gives a shit about what people think," he'd groan into your nape, biting harshly and marking you up.
and you know as well as he does that you can't say no to him. so you let him drag you to the bathrooms and pull you into an empty stall, mouths pressing together feverishly as his hands sink down to your tits.
his tits.
in a flash your bikini top — that honestly was so skimpy it wasn't there to begin with — is tossed away somewhere, and his hands are kneading your breasts, nipples between his fingers. you moan into his mouth, grinding your hot sex onto his thigh.
"so needy, thought you didn't want this," he murmurs, but he doesn't stop you from grinding. instead he smirks, quickly sitting himself on the toilet seat and positioning you on his thigh. "get yourself off, baby. wanna see how needy you are."
your hips move on their own, grinding your clothed clothed heat against his bare thigh, shorts pulled up just enough for you to rut against the exposed skin. your eyes shut in pleasure and you moan quietly, gradually humping this thigh.
jungkook huffs, hands on your waist as he forces you to quicken your pace. you cry out at the sudden surge of friction, but the boy only scoffs in response.
"how's my dumb lil bitch supposed to feel good of she's moving her hips so slow, huh?" you simply moan in response, and jungkook slips in a finger between your folds. "you're so fucking wet. thought my pretty baby didn't want this? does my lil whore want to stop?"
you sob loudly, shaking your head as you grind against his fingers and his thigh. it's all too much, but you don't want to stop. jungkook just chuckles. "words, baby. or my dumb bitch feeling to good, huh? haven't even done anything and you're all fucked out."
you whine, nodding as you call out his name. his fingers retreat, instead finding place in your mouth. "since you aren't using that mouth, let's put it good use." you suck intently, jungkook's free hand kneading your ass.
you don't know how long you've been grinding onto him for, but eventually enough is enough and you can feel your orgasm on the horizon. it's so close, and you babble as such, repeatedly moaning around jungkook's fingers.
and just as you feel it coming, it's ripped away when jungkook's grip on your waist tightens, other hand flying down as well, preventing you from moving your hips any more. fat tears roll down your face as you whine into his neck, desperately bucking your hips to try and get some friction. "k-koo, please..mwanna cum, was so close!"
he hums, thinking it over for a moment, before he's forcing your hips to start moving again. it feels as though everything's on fire, heat surging through your body as your cunt messily drools all over jungkook's bare thigh.
your face is wet with tears as you feel your high approach for a second time, moans coming out high pitched and broken. jungkook loves you like this, lips capturing yours in a sloppy kiss.
you're close once more, whining into his mouth as you feverishly buck your hips. it's coming, coming, and then..
it's gone again.
you're choking and hiccuping, jungkook pressing his lips to your tear stained cheeks. "poor dumb baby," he coos. "wanna cum? you'll only cum if it's in my cock, babe, so you better beg for me to fuck you."
you don't say anything for a moment, before your broken, whiny voice reaches jungkook's ears. "please? i wanna— i need to cum! wanna g–go all dumb on your— on your cock! please~!"
if you were paying attention, and your eyes weren't so blurred with tears, you'd have noticed jungkook pulling at his shorts just enough to free his aching cock. catching the skin of your neck between his teeth, he pushes your bikini bottoms to the side and slams himself into you.
he's sure everyone in seoul heard you scream his name when he did.
he's pumping steadily in and out of you, kissing away your tears as you cry on top of him, moaning his name over and over like a broken record.
you cum way before he does, a string of curses leaving your mouth as you did so. but jungkook doesn't stop, relishing in your slurred begs for him to "stop. s'too much! can't do it!"
he doesn't listen, thrusting fluidly into your fluttering hole, groaning loudly into your neck as his cock begins to twitch inside you. "gonna cum sweetheart. wanna cum inside my dumb baby's lil cunt. can i cum in you, baby?"
you nod limply, sobbing into his neck as he lets himself go inside of you, warm spurts of cum filling you up. only then, when he's fully released his load, does jungkook finally let you rest.
you're still slurring and babbling, jungkook kissing your forehead and trying to calm you down, cooing softly. "you're alright baby, you're alright. so pretty when you cry, but it's done now, okay?"
he loved making you his dumb little baby, but he'd always take care of you after as you whimpered into his chest.
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sanjarka · 1 day ago
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not to be a broken record but it's not quite fair to use the line but peeta wanted them so badly as proof that katniss was forced into having kids, or of her having them for all the wrong reasons. it exists within the context of not only the epilogue but an entire story before it. and i'm not here to convince you to like it. but to try seeing the point at least.
to expand on something i've spoken about before - in the epilogue their children are playing in a meadow from a song she sang to rue, a song that she now sings to her kids, in a meadow not unlike the one she dreams about after the beach kiss (as i drift off, i try to imagine that world, somewhere in the future, with no games, no capitol. a place like the meadow in the song i sang to rue as she died. where peeta's child could be safe)
so the tone in the epilogue can not be tragic and it is not regretful. it is hopeful.
the infamous line previously mentioned is not about katniss's lack of consent in being a mother but about the amount of trust she has in peeta as her life partner, as someone she loves. it's nothing but a connection to another line in the epilogue (where katniss is expressing her worry over teaching her kids about the games and her and peeta's role in them) → peeta says it will be okay. we have each other and the book. we can make them understand in a way that will make them braver.
it is about there not being another person who could've made this decision, this choice, safe (no one has held me like this in such a long time. since my father died and i stopped trusting my mother, no one else's arms have made me feel this safe)
it's about how his his hope made her wish safe (isn't it the thing i'd dreaded most about the wedding, about the future - the loss of my children to the games? and it could be true now couldn't it? if i hadn't spent my life building up layers of defenses until i recoil at even suggestion of marriage or a family?)
it's about how only peeta can give her that (what i need is the dandelion in the spring. the bright yellow that means rebirth instead of destruction. the promise the life can go on, no matter how bad our losses. that it can be good again. and only peeta can give me that)
the choice to be a parent is not easy and careless and it never will be. she's absolutely honest about being terrified of her kids learning about the games, of them being scared and forced to harden like her and peeta were. the pain of the past is not ignored, it is not glossed over, and the nightmares never go away. but there's something else in the epilogue too.
when i first felt her stirring inside of me, i was consumed with a terror that felt old as life itself. only the joy of holding her in my arms could tame it. carrying him was a little easier, but not much.
how is this katniss being resentful and if she is why would she then have another kid? i've seen some people focus on the terror as it's this ugly thing proving her regret but is it not an entirely realistic feeling to have when carrying someone's life within you and understanding the neverending responsibility in keeping said life safe? there is such beauty in the phrase old as life itself. because it suggests the idea that this is something that isn't inherently tied to katniss's life, to her trauma and to her pain but to lifekind in general. and then the joy! how that terror is only settled when seeing your child eye to eye, seeing them breath and cry and live. it's such a gorgeous, intimate passage trying to let you in the love katniss has for her kids. it's not hiding away the sacrifice and the fear but it's also not hiding away how worth it it can be to make choices that scare you.
I'll tell them that on bad mornings, it feels impossible to take pleasure in anything because I'm afraid it could be taken away. that's when i make a list of every act of goodness i've seen someone do. it's like a game. repetitive. even a little tedious after more than twenty years. but there are much worse games to play.
how is this supposed to be so much more bitter than sweet, how is this anything but a love letter to peeta, to her kids, to everything she gained after everything she lost. why would she be so afraid of losing it all if it doesn't matter and why would she make a choice to believe in the kindness of people if the life she has now is something she has no say in and something that at best she feels indifferent towards to?
and obviously you have a right to feel whatever it is that you feel. i hate even having to say this cause who am i to give you a right to feel any type of way. i'm not trying to push my feelings onto you and tell you that this story must work for you, that it must make you feel hopeful. that if you're not satisfied you just have to read it again. stories don't work that way.
but to imply that the intention of the story is for the reader to be left hopeless is wrong. and sure, maybe that intention doesn't seem that profound you, maybe it is not interesting and maybe you think is boring. and maybe you think that katniss and peeta wouldn't realistically have this life path, or have kids, and maybe you think the end is too predictable and too expected. and that's okay. whatever life you have lived is going to affect what stories you find deep and what stories you find shallow and so maybe, this is that story for you. the story that you don't get. the story that doesn't work for you. and that's okay too. but to be so convinced that its intention is to present katniss's life as something so very miserable that she didn't choose but just let happen around her is wrong.
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buck-star · 7 hours ago
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Shattering glass
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Bucky gets into a fight with John on the ice. Luckily, you’re there to fix his injuries and offer him a lot of much needed kisses.
Pairing: Collegr!HockeyCaptain!Boyfriend!Bucky Barnes x College!Girlfriend!Reader
Wordcount: 2.295 Words
Warnings/Tags: Established relationship, college au, ex-boyfriend John Walker, fight on the ice, bruises, mention of blood, mention of cleaning wounds, language, talking about sex/nudity, kissing, fluff, petnames [Steady, Pengu]
Authors Note: This work is a “What if: Bucky as Hockey Player” after “Summer of love”. While he’s actually a football captain, for this he turned into a Hockey Captain. If you have any asks about these two feel free! Shout out to @elixirfromthestars for helping to come up with the idea and help with the nicknames. Divider made by me.
Events: Bucky Boy Bingo [N3 | Free Space | @buckyboybingo], Seasonal Delights Bingo: Types of love [B3 | Covering their face with their hands from being flustered | @seasonaldelightsbingo]
Masterlist | Bucky Barnes Masterlist
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“Fuckin’ idiot!” Bucky groans loudly when John kicks his hockey stick into the back of Bucky’s legs. The brunette immediately turns to the rival, his eyes narrowing underneath his helmet, and he spits out the protection for his teeth. “Dickhead, I’m talking to ya!”
The other man slides over the ice, paying no attention to the angry man. Bucky huffs, shaking off his gloves and basically running after the other with his ice skates. His hockey stick lands somewhere on the ice as well.
“John fuckin’ Walker, you fuckin’ whore. I’m talking to ya, so don’t dare to ignore me like the little bitch ya are,” Bucky shouts after him. His voice is rough and filled with anger. He’s shouting loudly, but his words are only muffled behind the ice ring — for you not audible.
However, you don’t need to hear him to know what he’s saying. Bucky’s face is almost red from the boiling emotions; he’s never good with someone disrespecting another player — he already deserves an award for having the most fights on the ice. Though, you guess the brunette is even more mad at the other captain because he’s your ex-boyfriend, and showing him what he thinks about John is something Bucky does like a whole lot — every now and then.
“What do you want, Barnes,” John shouts back, frustrated. He’s turning on his skates, still moving away from Bucky but this time backwards while the other man is still gliding closer to him on the ice. “It was an accident; didn’t know you’re such a coward.”
“Excuse ya,” Bucky says, his voice low when he tilts his head to the side. John grins through the helmet, spitting out the protection in his mouth. “What did ya just say?”
“I said I didn’t know you’re such a baby that you would cry when someone hit you with a stick. Did she turn you into a little crybaby?” John laughs. He is facing the brunette, his eyes locked with the other man’s eyes while Bucky speeds up and crashes the man into the edge of the ice rink.
A loud noise of shattering glass erupts in the hall, and loud gasps are audible when Bucky pushes John with such a force into the edge of the ice rink that he breaks the glass of it.
Bucky chuckles low in his throat when he pulls back slightly, just to ram his shoulder back into the other man’s ribs. “Yeah, what did ya say about my girl, huh?”
“Fuck you,” John spits into Bucky’s face, grinning as the brunette wipes his helmet off his head to run his arm over his face. With a chuckle, John pushes himself out of the glass and tackles Bucky with his shoulder to the side.
Your eyes widen when you see the growing annoyance in your boyfriend's blue eyes, his jaw clenching just like his fists as he sets a punch underneath John's chin and causes his head to fly back with a groan.
The blond-haired man catches himself slightly, at least enough for his fist to connect with Bucky’s cheekbone and underneath his eyes. The skin above his cheekbone breaks, leaving Bucky bleeding when John stumbles back. The brunette's eyes narrow further with a groan; he runs his fingers over his cheek, noticing the blood that’s stuck to his skin. Bucky tilts his head, a dangerous and cold smile forming on his lips, his usual soft blue eyes now dark.
“A baby, ya say? Cry baby because of my girl?” Bucky chuckles, moving closer to the other man, who backs away slightly. Everyone is watching the two of them, no one daring to move or even make a noise. “The only thing that makes me cry is my girl's perfect little cunt when it's gripping me so tightly that I feel like I'm fuckin’ for the first time. Know what I mean? Hugging my dick so perfectly when I fuck her slow and deep to make her feel every fuckin’ inch of my cock.”
John's eyes widen at Bucky’s words, his head turning to where you sit. Even his teammates look at you, while Bucky grins. Steve rolls his eyes, shooting you an apologetic look while you sit there with your mouth slightly parted and your eyes wide.
It's not just that Bucky said such a thing, because he can't know. But he comes up with something like that just to annoy John. Bucky and you haven't had sex yet, not that he didn't want to, but he doesn't pressure you, and you didn't feel comfortable enough after John. Plus, Bucky's soft kisses, the cuddles, and the showers together are so good too, and Bucky doesn’t mind that at all. He would wait forever to have sex with you, and even if you say you don't want it at all, he has two hands for good use, too.
“You- What the fuck?” John stumbles over his own words, shaking his head. He scrunches his nose in disgust about the pictures in his head of Bucky fucking you. You watch them intensely, feeling your cheeks heat up, especially when Bucky looks at you with a soft but also devilish grin at you. “You're a fucking disgusting— she doesn't even let you fuck her because she has that weird imagination of her perfect first time.”
Bucky laughs loudly, throwing his head back. If he didn't have that cold expression in his eyes, he would probably look amused. He reaches out to wrap one of his calloused hands around John's neck, pulling him flush against his broad chest. Bucky's fingers tighten around the other man's neck, and he glares at John.
“Looks like I made it special enough for her,” Bucky growls. You feel a lot of people staring at you, at least people who are able to understand their conversation. You hide yourself in Bucky's jersey, your cheeks heating up even more. John is saying the truth; you didn't sleep with him because you didn't want it to be a fuck without anything meaningful. While Bucky is lying about your sex life, he manages to make John angrier with his words.
Without another word, he throws John back into another glass of the ring around the ice. John groans, trying to get off, but Bucky's already on top of him, setting a punch to John’s chin and cheek. Just when Bucky is about to bring his fist down on John's nose, the man underneath him causes Bucky’s head to be thrown to the side and other bruises just above his head.
Only then, when both are bleeding and setting punch after punch, do the referees and coaches walk over to the two and try to get them off of one another. You get up slowly from your seat, walking over to the side where Bucky's team is sitting. Their eyes are on the scene between the shouting players while they are dragged in two directions off the ice.
“Idiotic asshole,” John shouts, earning a low, rough laugh from your boyfriend. Bucky's coach is talking to him, his arm wrapped around the hockey captain's shoulders while Bucky nods every once in a while and says something you can't understand.
Bucky smiles and grabs the side of the door that leads off the ice. His eyes move to the seat you were sitting on; a frown appears on his face when you're not there. You smile softly, noticing the way he lets his ocean blue orbs roam all the way from your seat to the booth where his teammates are sitting — and where you're standing next to.
“Steady,” Bucky grins at you, walking over with his ice skates still on. You lean your head back to look your boyfriend in the face. With his skates on, he's even bigger than usual. Bucky places both of his big hands on your waist and pulls you flush against him. “I fuckin’ kicked the jerks ass.”
“Mhm, but you’re bleeding, Pengu,” you mutter, letting your hands run up and down his broad chest. Bucky smirks, shrugging slightly before he lowers his head even more to kiss you. With a soft sigh and a shake of your head, you let him kiss you. Bucky’s lips are soft and warm against yours, a grin forming on his lips when you grumble in the kiss.
“You’re grumpy, Steady, aren’t you?” Bucky chuckles, pulling back slightly. You roll your eyes, earning a soft digging of his fingers into your sides until you squirm and giggle. “How about I clean it, huh?”
You nod, pushing him back and taking his calloused hand in yours to walk with him to the locker rooms. Your boyfriend looks at you with a soft, loving expression at you. His fingers are tightly interlaced with yours while he runs his thumb over the back of your hand.
You lead Bucky to the locker rooms, pushing him down on the bench in front of his locker before you rummage through it and look for the first aid kit every player has there. Bucky watches you with his intense blue eyes, smiling softly while he leans back a bit and spreads his legs.
“Have ya seen his expression? Walker was such a mad little bitch,” Bucky chuckles. You roll your eyes, giggling when you move to stand in front of him. You place the first aid kit in his hands and open it.
“You didn’t have to mention such information about our sex life. How do you even— we didn’t have sex; how did you come up with that, Pengu?” You ask, taking a wipe.
You inspect his injuries for a moment; the bruise above his eye is blue and swollen slightly, while the bruise underneath the same eye is swollen and the skin is ripped open. The blood is already dried, covering his cheek around the wound.
You wipe the pad over the bruises, cleaning off the blood. Bucky hisses slightly when you add a bit more pressure, causing a slight stinging feeling. You smile apologetically, kissing Bucky’s forehead.
His hands find their way back to your waist, gripping you tightly and digging his fingers into your soft flesh. “I’m just a man, Steady. My imagination is runnin’ wild sometimes, especially when ya are not wearing clothes.”
You feel your cheeks heat up under his intense gaze and his honest words. You place the wipe to the side and close the first aid kit again. Only then do you look him in the eyes again, locking yours with his.
“What’s goin’ on in that pretty head of yours, Steady?” Bucky asks, placing the first aid kit to the side before he pulls you into his lap. With a giggle and a soft shriek, you straddle his lap. Bucky wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you closer toward him. He’s still keeping some space to be able to look at you.
“Do you ever… regret anything? I mean, because I don’t… because we haven’t had sex yet?” You whisper, searching Bucky’s blue orbs for every sign of a lie when he opens his mouth to answer you. But instead of a weird look or anything, he only shows you the softness and honesty he always shows you.
“No, Steady, I would never regret anything with ya because of some sex. Yeah, I get hard when we cuddle in the tub or naked sometimes, but that’s nothing bad. It’s just like ya getting wet, and I bet ya were dripping for me often already, huh?” Bucky teases, making you gasp. You lift your hands, covering your face with them before you lean against Bucky’s shoulder to hide further.
“PENGU!” You growl, squirming in his lap. Bucky laughs softly, knowing he’s right. But saying it out loud is something different than just thinking about it.
“Nothin’ to be ashamed about. But, anyway, no matter how hard I am for you or how much you’re dripping. As long as you don't say you want it, I can use my hand or just wait and take a shower,” Bucky explains; he knows that you’re smart enough to know it yourself. But it’s his way to assure you — and it does assure you. “I don’t regret anythin’ just because of some sex. I love you, not for your pussy, but for being the sweet, precious girl ya are — my girl.”
“I love you too, Pengu. And you kicked his ass so bad,” you smirk. Pushing yourself backward to grin at Bucky. He nods his head, a proud expression on his face when he thinks about the way he has beaten John. “But who’s gonna pay for the glass the two of you smashed?”
“The coach… the school? The team? They are allowed to tackle and fight during hockey games. They only step in once one is on the ground and the other throws himself on them. So they know that sometimes we break glass while we fight,” Bucky shrugs, pulling you closer. His breath is warm against your lips, and your heart skips a beat when he inches closer.
His tongue darts out, licking his lips before he captures your lips with his. His soft lips moving against yours, Bucky’s tongue sliding over your lips, but before you part your lips, the door to the locker rooms opens, and the voices of the other echo through the room.
“Bucky! That’s better than a porn here,” Sam laughs, looking at the two of you. You try to pull away, but Bucky keeps your lips pressed to his, deepening the kiss once more. You can imagine Sam rolling his eyes while Bucky grins against your lips and even makes you moan with his tongue twirling around yours in the most delicious way possible.
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Taglist: @rogersbarber @loki-laufeyson68 @etherealdisneyvillainness @winterschildren8 @pono-pura-vida @kimmie113080 @sergeantbarnessdoll @sebastianstanisahotmf @mercurial-chuckles @holylulusworld @randomawesomeperson102 @looking1016 @multiversefanfics @kpopgirlbtssvt @iris-xoxo-juhu @fckedupandbeautiful @hisredheadedgoddess28 @casa-boiardi @blackhawkfanatic @mrsalexstan @thesarcasmqueen-22 @kandis-mom @peachy-satan00 @armystay89 @queen-honeybee-stories @alexxavicry @unabashed-lover-of-fictional-men [tag yourself]
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miss-oranje-disco-dancer · 2 days ago
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tainted love
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pairing: javier peña x steve murphy
cws/tags: only one bed, when you gotta jerk off ur partner bc he can't sleep but it's just a platonic thing dw #totallynotgay, use of f-slur, frottage, watching porn together briefly, mutual masturbation, technically infidelity ig but what connie doesn't know can't hurt her
summary: steve can't sleep and he's keeping javi up, so they have to jerk off ???
a/n: homosexual activities return to my blog
thank you to @almostempty for your help w this ! i could not have done this w/o you
wc: 3k
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It’s not the first time Javi’s ended up with Steve’s name on his lips and his own hand wrapped around his cock. It’s not an everyday occurrence – Javi has tons of masturbation-worthy images in his collection of sacred memories. He’s got dalliances with hookers, something more and simultaneously less with that one communist girl, even Lorraine, back when she was something other than a blurry, ever-present mistake in his periphery. But, these thoughts are finite. In desperation, he’ll search for more. 
Sometimes more is his partner, partner in work, not in sex, not really, not yet. It comes down to the way Steve looks when he’s pissed off, the way anger forces him into physical contact despite the fact that he’s not a touchy-feely guy. It’s the time he had Javi pressed up against the wall in the hallway of the DEA office in Medellin – it felt like deja vu, he’d seen that moment on an x-rated videotape that no one would ever know he rented. Fuck government secrets, it’d take a harsh interrogation to get Javi to reveal the fact that he watched gay porn by his own volition. More than once. 
It’s a sleepless night like any other except Javi’s not in his own bed or anyone else’s, he’s in a hotel room he’s sharing with Murphy. It’s not the worst thing that could’ve happened – he could’ve gotten stuck with Stechner, but Messina decided to pair up with him for a reason Javi doesn’t want to hear about. 
There’s alcohol somewhere, but not in his overnight bag – maybe in the minibar, but that’s on the far side of the room and whether it comes out of his pocket or not, the prices make him feel sicker than a hangover would.  
Though he and Steve are facing away from each other, he can tell that he’s not sleeping either. It needles at him in the dark. Steve’s wakefulness bleeding onto Javi’s side of the bed, his body heat threatening to burn through the ever present wall of masculinity that keeps him at a distance. 
Murphy tosses and turns to the point where Javi wonders if he’s doing it for attention – he’s doing a great job if so. Javi rolls over to tell him to cool it. 
“Would you cut that shit out?”
“I can’t sleep.”
“Neither can I. Because of you.”
Steve shrugs as best one can in his position. 
“What do you want? A bedtime story?”
“Might be kinda nice.”
“Alright,” Javi says, like he’s really committed to the idea. “One night, there was a DEA agent who killed his partner–”
“Okay. I get it.”
“How the fuck does Connie sleep in the same bed as you?”
“I guess I don’t really toss and turn when I’m with her.” He pauses.
“She usually holds me – or I hold her. Not like a baby or anything, but you know…”
“You need to be cuddled to sleep? Seriously?”
He really seems to think about it. “No.”
“‘Cause the only way I’m holding you is in a headlock.”
“How do women sleep with you, huh? You’re wide awake and pissy about it.”
“When I said women sleep with me, I didn’t mean it literally.”
“So, you kick ‘em out of bed? Sounds about right,” Murphy says it with a smirk, like he’s gotten one over on Javi, but he hasn’t. 
“No, they know to leave. Or, I do. It’s bedroom etiquette. You wouldn’t know.”
“Yeah, ‘cause I’ve got something better – a wife. She sleeps with me for free.”
“God knows why.”
“She loves me. I’m loveable, Javi.”
That one strikes a nerve, but Javi doesn’t dare let it show.
“Maybe by her standards.”
“You saying she has low standards?”
“She could do better. She’s a very nice woman.”
“What does that mean?”
“Relax, man. I’m not trying to fuck your wife. I’m not that much of a scumbag.”
“Good. Not that I think she’d be into you anyway.”
“Plus, I can get laid without traveling to Miami.”
Steve huffs. It was a low blow, Javi’s willing to admit that.
“Okay, listen. We gotta be up in the morning, so let’s get practical here. You with me, Murphy?”
“Aye aye, cap,” he says with the least enthusiasm. 
“So, she’s been gone for a while, and I don’t see you coming to work looking like complete shit – at least, not any worse than you used to — so how are you getting to sleep?”
“I mean, I usually, you know…”
When Javi gestures to say go on, though he’s pretty sure he knows, Steve says much quieter, “Jerk off.”
“Was it that hard to say it?”
“I mean, it’s a little awkward.”
“What are you? 12? Everyone jerks off.”
“So, what? You want me to just jerk off?”
“Not here,” he says incredulously at the notion despite the fact that it does excite him. “In the shower if you have to.”
“I don’t usually do it in the shower.”
“You get to try something new then.”
“If I have to get up, then dry off, get dressed again, I think it’ll just start the whole process over.”
“So what? You want me to go stand outside and wait for you to finish?”
“The idea doesn’t sound unappealing…”
“No way am I doing that.”
Pissed off and admittedly aroused by the thought, he suggests, “You know what? Fuck it – put up a pillow barrier between us, and go ahead. Find something on pay-per-view so I don’t have to hear anything from you.”
“You serious?”
“If it’ll help you sleep.”
They fight over pillows and that’s only half the battle.
“Do you think they’ll know we’re buying–”
“Yes, so get something normal, will you? I don’t want anything weird showing up on the bill.”
“Relax. What’d you think I was gonna pick?”
“I don’t know. I don’t really think about your porn habits.”
“Well, what do you like?”
“What?”
“What do you like, Javi? We should find something we agree on.”
“So, now I’m a part of this?”
“I was trying to be nice.”
Javi stays silent while Steve rattles off possibilities. “We’ve got lesbians, mature women, threesomes…”
Javi gives him an unenthusiastic ‘sure’ to each option. 
“Oh, here’s the gay section,” Murphy says with a laugh.
And to avoid an awkward silence, Javi jokes - or tries to, “Don’t knock it till you try it.”
And Steve’s head turns around faster than you’d think was possible. “Oh, so you’ve tried it?”
“I was making a joke.”
“That’s not a no.”
“Why do you even care? Just stop stalling and pick something.”
Though he’s clearly still considering prying, he settles on whatever the most basic shit is – some blonde girl getting railed by some dude with a cock big enough to distract from his lackluster face. 
It’s about a minute of fake moaning that somehow makes things worse before Steve asks, “Do you think if we change the channel, they won’t charge us since we barely watched it?”
“Might as well try. Turn on PBS or something. That shit’s always free.”
It’s free but it’s a science documentary. Slimy jellyfish and the old men who know a concerning amount about them flood the screen. 
“Just turn off the TV,” Javi says, unable to hide his disgust.
Murphy spits into his hand, takes his cock out, and Javi is listening intently to it all. It makes him uncomfortably hard. He won’t sleep if he doesn’t get off, and at this point there’s no real shame in it. 
They breathe in tandem, each strangled sound egging the other one on, until Steve dares to ask, “So, you said you’ve watched gay porn before?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“But you didn’t say you haven’t.”
“Fine. Yes, I have. Can we go back to not talking right now?”
“But I’m curious.”
“Keep your curiosity to yourself.”
“Have you ever done anything with a guy?”
“Why? Do you want me to tell you a story about me getting a handjob from some guy outside a bar when I was hammered? You really wanna get off to that?”
“Maybe. If you can jazz it up a little.”
“I barely even remember it.”
That’s not entirely true. 
Sure, the memory’s faded a little over time, but he wasn’t blackout drunk like he wants Steve to believe. He was young, and a little bit desperate due to a recent breakup. It was hard to put on a face that said ‘I’m approachable and you’d have a good time if I took you home,” so the only attention he got that night was from a guy only a bit older than him, he’d guess. It was the kind of thing where he should’ve known it wasn’t friendly banter from the beginning, and maybe he did – he just didn’t want to believe that he was letting this happen, that he was engaging in it, that he was enjoying it. 
It got a little touchy-feely in a way real Texan men aren’t supposed to, unless they’re faggots. The word rings in Javi’s ear, and it’s the only thing louder than Murphy’s heavy breathing, which is far closer in time and space. 
The guy – whose name he’ll likely never know – led him outside and whatever ‘it’ was went down in an alley.
“Did you like it?”
“I liked it enough.”
Enough to cum from a handjob alone, and enough to try to give one back, and the only reason he didn’t really get to was because his hands shook, and it was summertime. 
‘You’re not used to this are you?’.
‘No, I’ve never…’
‘It’s okay,’ he said, removing Javi’s hand, gingerly, almost apologetic.
The goodbye kiss was anything but – it was tongue and teeth, indulgent. You could say it was self-indulgent on the other guys’ part, but you’d be wrong. It felt like it lasted longer than the handjob, and maybe it did, but god, that’d be too embarrassing to admit even in his own mind. It was the kind of kiss that dared Javi’s cock to spring back to life and he fought it desperately. 
‘See you around.’
But the pair never did. Javi convinced himself it never happened and during drinking games or friendly teasing he insisted that he’d never touched another man, just like every other friend of his. 
So, why would he tell Steve?
Before Murphy can ask another goddamn question, he turns it on the fucker, “Why don’t you tell me about your sex life?”
“I mean, besides Connie, there hasn’t been anyone since I was, fuck, I don’t know…”
“Is Connie any good?”
“Of course she’s good.”
Javi waits for the ‘but’ with a raised eyebrow, and it comes. 
“It just gets boring, alright? I love her, though.”
And Javi knows he does. He knows he does because Murphy can’t sleep without her in bed beside him. 
It doesn’t miss Javi that Steve’s breath falters more when Javi’s name leaves his mouth. 
“Javi…” He’s been stroking himself the entire time, but he’s not close, it’s not a plea to cum. It’s a hesitant question. 
“Yes, Murphy?”
“Why do you always call me by my last name?”
“I don’t know, Steve.”
It’s just to get a reaction out of him, which it does, subtle enough that another person might not catch on, but Javi’s waiting for it. 
And the reason is probably somewhere between the fact that he calls everyone by last name - and, come to think of it, it’s actually kinda weird that Murphy calls him by his first name - and because he feels like exchanging first names equals real friendship and somehow, that’s too intimate for Javi.
“Is that better?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Steve…”
“Yeah?”
“You want this, right?”
“If you do.”
“You gotta tell me. ‘Cause I’m not doing anything if you’re not into it.”
The distance between them dissipates. It doesn’t matter who closes the gap – if one didn’t, the other would. 
Javi looks back and forth between Steve’s cock and his mouth and tries to decide what’s right. Because he wants both, he has to find another metric to measure, to make his choices for him. 
Dive right in and take Steve’s cock in his hand to avoid the intimacy that locking lips requires? Kiss him to quiet everything including his own mind? 
He’s dumbfounded for a moment and you’d think he’s the one who’s never touched a man before if you didn’t know any better. The thing is: Javi can jerk another man off, even give a likely mediocre drunken blowjob. The difference is, this is Steve, naked in bed beside him. The difference is, he’s thought about this. The decision to do this shouldn’t be this easy when he’s sober. But his inhibitions are dangerously low because he’s dreamed about this. 
He’s played out fantasies before that he knows wouldn’t - shouldn’t – become reality. There are countless reasons not to do this - Steve is married, this could ruin both of their careers, this could compromise the most important case in DEA history. 
There is only one reason this should happen: desire.
Javi leads with his heart not his head (admittedly, his dick has influenced this specific decision to a significant degree).
His contemplation is cut off by Murphy’s lips pressed to his. The kiss is hesitant only until Javi reciprocates. Then it leans more towards animalistic than sweet but it’s needier than anything. Between the two of them desperation has only ever led to tension that boils over into fighting, but somehow insomnia is all it took to get them here. 
His brain has one thought playing on loop - the simple fact that he is actively kissing Steve Murphy. Until his mind is free of thoughts. Sex usually works like that for him, particularly with women ‘cause he doesn’t have to worry about the persistent guilt and fear of getting caught in the back of his mind, but his stress rarely fades at just kissing. Maybe they’re not just kissing. It feels like something more. Javi can’t think, but he sure as hell can feel, and he’ll feel this for days, weeks, months, maybe years if he’s really unlucky and there’s no feeling strong enough to replace this one.
The pillows that stood between them are now strewn across the floor as are the pretences. This isn’t one coworker tolerating another’s nighttime routine – at the very least, this is a friend helping a friend in a time of need. But that sounds too innocuous – too generous, even sacrificial. What they’re doing is fumbling around in the dark (even though Javi aches to turn on the lamp, to see, to savor) trying to find out how to get this over with the quickest, what will make the other cum first while learning how to drag this out, how to tease, how to get the other to the edge and no further. How to do this together. 
It starts with the kiss, with Javi lazily stroking his own cock until he dares to place his hand on Steve’s inner thigh. It’s a hesitant question and a final warning, and in response Steve’s breath hitches. They lock eyes for a moment before Javi removes Steve’s hand from his cock and replaces it with his own. There is no protest, only a low groan before he takes Javi’s cock in his hand with a firm grip that makes it feel more like retaliation than returned favor. It also feels way too fucking good. Javi takes it as an invitation for competition, his right hand is more dedicated and focused, moving faster while his left grabs Steve’s jaw and brings him into a kiss fueled by a passion that feels closer to rage than love. 
Javi takes Steve’s bottom lip between his teeth and tugs on it slightly, as if a gentle pull in the right direction would bring Steve into Javi’s lap. It elicits a startled jump in his ragged breath - and they were long overdue to pull back for a breath - Javi takes the opportune moment to tell Steve to come closer in a voice that one uses to discipline an unruly soldier. 
Javi has to maintain a certain amount of control through aggression lest he let the mask slip and reveal his own nervousness, his curiosity, how little he really knows about how this is supposed to go, and how much he wants to press Steve flat on the mattress and take this slow. 
He finds himself moving hastily to shift himself and his partner - now in work and in sex - into a position where he can jerk them both off simultaneously, cocks loosely held together in his fist. Javi’s thrusts lead and Steve’s follow. 
Neither of them last very long. 
There’s a collective initial sigh of physical relief and a subsequent realization of what had just occurred between the two of them. 
What is he supposed to say? ‘Thanks’? ‘Sleep tight’? Is he supposed to say anything at all?
Murphy gets out of bed disturbing the relative peace in the air. 
“What the fuck are you doing?” Javi asks.
“Shower,” Murphy says, leaning in the doorway of the bathroom. “Ever heard of one?”
“Thought you didn’t wanna take a shower ‘cause it would make it harder to sleep.”
And that’s how we ended up here. 
“I’m not going to bed like this,” he says, gesturing to the mess he and Javi had both left on his stomach. 
“I don’t wanna go to bed like this either, but it’s four in the goddamn morning.” They’re back to whisper yelling and somehow it feels nice to have that sense of normalcy. 
Murphy stands there waiting for a better argument, but instead he gets Javi storming out of bed straight towards him and dragging him into the shower. 
It’s not romantic, not in the slightest - they argue over the water temperature and who’s taking up too much room. They don’t wash each other’s hair or look at each other with stars in their eyes. But, they leave their clothes on the floor and slip into bed naked, not holding each other, but not wincing when their shoulders touch. 
“Did that really happen last night?” Murphy asks with a yawn, forcing Javi to confront reality after he’s pressed snooze more than once. 
“I don’t know,” he says. “You tell me.”
“Yeah, yeah, I think so.” He sounds more confident with every word. 
“Okay. Then, I think so too.” 
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Lais!! I'm SO sorry this took me such a long time to get to read!! It was totally my loss - because this was amazing! I've been wanting to read it since you posted it! 😩 But life has been ridiculous and I've been knocked tf out by Covid for about a week and a half!
I'm starting to do better, much less dizzy and feverish, so I can actually sit up and concentrate on a screen without feeling like I'm gonna pass out. 😞
Anyway, this story was definitely my treat for getting through Covid once again! It was amazing! And I absolutely loved it! Bunch of my rambling thoughts below. 😁❤️
The feeling of Dean’s warm, big hand around hers brought a sense of security she hadn’t felt in a while. Even if she didn’t know he was Sam’s brother, Dean would be a person she would trust immediately. He just had that aura.
He does just give that aura, I can't imagine anyone not being made to feel utterly safe with Dean nearby! 😍
She didn’t think she’d ever met someone as handsome as Sam’s brother. He looked like he came directly from the pages of a magazine, a Hollywood movie or something. In his jeans and a worn-out oversized leather jacket, he was simply stunning. She couldn’t help but avert his piercing gaze, feeling suddenly shy with the intensity of it.
I'm still not sure how anyone ever exists in a normal day-to-day existence with this man around! I think of all the things in the show that force the audience to suspend their belief, the idea that people can just continue to function normally with Dean right beside them is the hardest to swallow. 😁
“Ugh”, she complained, getting on her tiptoes so she could search inside a high cupboard, “I could’ve sworn those plates were somewhere in here”.
😄 I feel her short person's frustration.
“I said you’re nice, smart and handsome, but I forgot the most important part: you’re funny too!”, she exclaimed, playfully punching his arm.
A very important part of Dean's overall appeal actually. In the show people are always giving him looks to say like, 🙄 "That wasn't funny." or just being like 😒. But I always think he's funny! He doesn't get enough credit for his sense of humour! ❤️
...He texted me back ‘can’t make it, stuck at work’”, she chuckled, humorlessly. “The bastard didn’t even say he was sorry. So I paid him the same respect he paid me. I texted back, saying he shouldn’t bother showing up ever again, that I didn’t wanna see his face and it was all over between us. He never answered”, Maisie finished, taking a deep breath.
Hooray!! Way to go, Maisie! Though, I worry for her. I have a feeling he isn't going to accept that graciously! 😬
She stood on her tiptoes to reach his face, and Dean slid his hand to the small of her back, supporting her and bringing her close to his body, when- The sound of a loud honk startled them both, pulling them out of their lust haze.
I knew it!! If I didn't already hate him, I sure as hell hate him for interrupting that kiss!! 😡
“I’m not going anywhere until you talk to me, bitch!”, he yelled, his grip making it impossible for her to free herself of his hold.
From "darling" to "bitch" in two seconds flat. What a friggin' charmer this guy is!! 😡
“I want this to happen, whatever this is, between you and me. I want… to get to know you. If you want to, that is. But I need to make sure it has nothing to do with Eric. With me being in need of comfort, or company, or about you protecting me from him - which I’m thankful for, by the way.
VERY smart thinking on her part, very logical. Yet, I fear that could never be me. 😄 I don't think I'd ever have the willpower. She's absolutely right though. Gotta be sure, don't wanna ruin something so perfect just cause she got the timing wrong. ❤️
He quickly recovered, placing a hand on her cheek, deepening the kiss a little and guiding her into it, sliding his lower lip over hers and lightly sucking it.
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“Yeah”, Sam let out a deep sigh and shook his head. “Eric broke in early in the morning, Maisie was still sleeping. He was drunk and screaming that they should get back together. She said no and told him to leave, so he started to lock all the doors and windows to stop her from escaping.
How completely terrifying!! 🥺🥺
She’d just been through a terrible trauma and, as a pro at avoiding feelings and acting like nothing wrong had happened, Dean knew exactly what she was doing.
I love him for that. ❤️❤️ It's exactly the kind of good man he is. But also - 😩 I feel for Maisie!! There's so much delicious tension here between them! It's so palpable! 🥵🥵
It also helped that I’m much taller than him”, he smirked, making Dean chuckle.
😄😄 Sam!! I love him!
“Take your shirt off, Dean”, she demanded, and he quickly obeyed. Maisie stared at him towering over her, his toned body looking godly under the dim lights of the room.
Oh my god!! That is the dream!! Dean Winchester mostly naked (okay, totally naked is better) and towering above me. 🥵🥵
“Tell me, Dean”, Maisie encouraged him, wanting to hear more of that deep, sexy voice of his saying dirty things to her.
Don't we all! Dean Winchester talking dirty is the hottest porn EVER!! 🥵🥵
Maisie was not happy with the fact that he didn’t look for Dean, and she had a suspicion that was the reason they fought.
You an me both, Mais! That was the only thing Sam ever did that TRULY pissed me off. I was very glad that he eventually admitted how wrong it had been and told Dean how sorry he was for it. Like, Dean, I forgave him, but I was SO mad!
I'm so interested to see how he's going to be with her!
“I- I love you too, Maisie. I didn’t realize how much until I couldn’t be with you”.
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Yes!!!!! They admitted it! I was so worried too much time was going to have passed, or he was going to be too different, or something. But I'm SO happy that he just needed to get home to her!! ❤️
Dean watches as Lily’s eyelids got heavier and heavier as he finishes the story. When she finally falls asleep, her little hand still holding his thumb tightly, he gently pushes her hair, as dark as her mom’s, out of her face. His movements are delicate, but she opens her big green eyes that look so much like his, and stares at him briefly, before falling asleep again.
Dean as a girl dad is my ultimate happy headcanon! I just think he'd be an amazing Dad, period - but to a little girl?!!! A little girl with dark hair and green eyes?!! I'm gone! 😍😍
“Just for two or three minutes. I arrived when you were telling her about how you fell in love with me from the first time you saw me”, she revealed, looking up at him and blushing.
Okay, I absolutely LOVE that he was telling Lily their love story! 😍🥹
Once she’s old enough, she’s gonna know how her dad went through hell and Purgatory, and how her mom was the reason he came back every time.
All. the. tears. 😭😭😭
Astounding!! This story was so sweet and full. I love all the details, I love the way their love is both immediate and blooming. Like, they know immediately that it's something special, but they both work hard to make sure the moment is right for them. Like, I said, I love that they neither of them wants to blow it by starting something so perfect before it's the perfect time for them too.
I'm so happy for their happy ending! I loved this, my friend! Again, I'm so sorry it took me SO long to have the chance to read it! Rest assured, I'll be reading it again!! ❤️❤️
Dean x OFC: Short and Sweet
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Pairings: Dean Winchester x Maisie (OFC)
Warnings: +18. Trigger warnings: Abusive relationship. Emotional negligence. Physical abuse. OFC’s boyfriend is a jackass. Smut. P in V. Unprotected sex (it’s fiction, people). Porn but also fluff and romantic, because it’s me.
Summary: When Dean was introduced to one of Sam’s old friends from Stanford, he didn’t expect his whole world to change.
Word count: ~15K (I’M SO SORRY, IT’S BEEN TOO LONG SINCE I WROTE SOMETHING, OKAY)
A/N 1: This story is set during the first seasons, probably around year 4. Don’t know exactly how long it would’ve taken Sam to finish Stanford, but I believe it would be around four years, so let’s imagine the brothers are young. Dean’s behavior in the beginning is also more like in the first seasons, so bear with me.
A/N 2: I have my very first original character! That’s scary. The image of her came to my mind so clearly, I couldn’t just ignore it. I kept writing and imagining her, it couldn’t be Y/N this time. It sucks that I can’t draw a straight line to save my life, ‘cause I wanted so badly to draw her so you guys can see her the way I do!
Anyways, I hope this story doesn’t suck too much. I wrote three versions of it before deciding this one was the best way to tell it.
A/N 3: I started writing this fic in May, 2022, and could only finish it now. The plan was to post it on Dean’s birthday, but it wasn’t possible, unfortunately. Life has been chill lol.
Enjoy the reading and don’t forget to leave feedback!
MASTERLIST
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The first time Dean saw her, was in a picture. The corners of the photo were in shreds; it was folded in the middle, forever creased from being kept inside Sam’s wallet for so long. Despite its poor state, Dean would never forget it.
"Hey, Dean", Sam had called.
"Yeah?"
"How do you feel about going to a party?"
Dean, who had been searching for a clean shirt in his duffel bag, immediately stopped what he was doing, turning around and staring at his younger brother.
"Excuse me? Are you feeling ok?", he asked, brow raised.
"Seriously, dude”, Sam replied, rolling his eyes. “It's a friend's party", he let his arms fall on his sides, exasperated.
"What friend? You don't have any friends", Dean mocked.
"I do, actually. This is Maisie", he extended the crumpled photo to Dean. It showed a younger Sam during his Stanford era, standing next to Jessica and another girl, whom Sam was pointing at. "I met her in college. She's graduating now, so she invited me over for a party at her house. She knows we’re in California".
Dean looked at the picture with growing interest. The younger version of Sam was smiling in the photo, with Jessica standing between him and the other girl. Sam had his arm around Jess’ shoulders, and the girl had her arm linked with the blonde’s. They were all smiling. Maisie, Sam said that was the girl’s name. She had brown hair, styled in a pixie cut that gave her an edgy look. Her big, rounded eyes were brown too. Her cheeks were flushed and her captivating smile reached her eyes. It wasn’t a full body picture, but Dean could tell the girl was short, because Jessica was way taller than her.
"She's cute”, he elbowed Sam. “Is she single?”
"Dude, no. She has a boyfriend, but he’s a douchebag. His name’s Eric and they met in Stanford too". Sam shrugged, making a disgusted face.
"Huh. And what's so special about her that makes you want to go to her party?". Dean crossed his arms in front of his chest, ready to hear the answer.
"Maisie’s the nicest girl, Dean. She introduced me to Jess. They were friends first, I met her and then it was the three of us against the world”, Sam smiled, reminiscing about a special time of his life. “I miss her a lot. Remember I went to a friend’s parents’ funeral, like, two years ago? It was her mom and dad. Poor girl’s been through hell. Also… she knows about what we do", Sam said, grimacing and lowering his voice, as if he was confessing a crime.
"What?", Dean was surprised with the fact that Sam told someone about their biggest secret.
"I helped her with a witch once. She hid hex bags all over Maisie’s dorm. That’s how we met, actually. So I ended up telling her", he shrugged.
"Oh, well, one day you’re gonna have to tell me the whole story of the witch of Stanford. Anyways, I didn't know you were still in touch with people from college", Dean stated.
Sam sighed. "Actually, Maisie’s the only one I still talk to. But, look, Dean, if you don't wanna go, fine. I’ll go alone".
"Wait, who said I don't wanna go? Of course I wanna go! Hot chicks and free booze? When do we leave?", said Dean, rubbing his hands together and grinning.
Sam chuckled, shaking his head.
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The first time Dean saw her in person, he won’t forget either.
He and Sam arrived at Maisie’s when it was just getting dark. Her house was small but cozy looking, and the path leading to the spacious backyard was decorated with hanging light bulbs. Dean could hear voices and the clink of glasses, along with some music, coming from the back.
“This is the house her parents left for her”, Sam explained.
“How did they die?”, Dean asked, closing the Impala’s door and walking to his brother’s side.
“Car accident. Pretty awful”, Sam shook his head, pausing when he saw someone coming from the end of the lighted path as they stepped on the entryway.
Having heard the sound of the car, Maisie came to check. Dean was right: she was short. He found it cute. Her face lit up when she saw Sam and, as the old friends hugged, he couldn’t help but notice her toned, thick legs. She was wearing a light green summer dress with little white flowers drawn all over it, matched with a pair of white Chuck Taylors.
Don’t know why, but I already like everything about her, Dean thought, watching the girl with growing interest.
"I'm so glad you're here, Sam!", Maisie greeted, holding the younger Winchester’s hand.
"I'm glad to be here too, Maisie. Congratulations!", Sam gave her another quick side hug, making the girl smile grow wider.
"Thanks! I'm a lawyer now, so you know who to call if you ever need one", she winked at him, hinting at their little secret.
"Well, if he doesn't call you, I certainly will", Dean interrupted the friends’ conversation, since Sam hadn’t introduced him yet.
"Oh, sorry, this is my brother Dean. Dean, this is Maisie", Sam said, finally.
"Nice to meet you, Maisie", Dean shook her hand, eyes taking in her beautiful, soft features.
"Nice to meet you too, Dean. Sam told me a lot about you", she said, remembering all the times Sam mentioned his brother, always with love and admiration.
The feeling of Dean’s warm, big hand around hers brought a sense of security she hadn’t felt in a while. Even if she didn’t know he was Sam’s brother, Dean would be a person she would trust immediately. He just had that aura.
"Only good things, I hope", Dean joked, winking at her. He deliberately let his fingers linger a little, the softness of her skin drawing him in.
"Oh, yeah! You’re the best brother ever, apparently", she shot back, earning a grin from him.
"He's right about that", was Dean’s reply, and it made Maisie laugh. She didn’t think she’d ever met someone as handsome as Sam’s brother. He looked like he came directly from the pages of a magazine, a Hollywood movie or something. In his jeans and a worn-out oversized leather jacket, he was simply stunning. She couldn’t help but avert his piercing gaze, feeling suddenly shy with the intensity of it.
"So, Maisie, where's Eric?", Sam asked. Not that he cared about the guy; he was just asking because he knew Eric from before. It would be weird not to ask.
"Oh, he- uh, he had a work thing, so-", she tried to explain, tugging an invisible strand of hair behind her ear, nervously.
"He didn’t come", Sam finished, incredulous. Even though he was already familiar with the way Eric seemed to undervalue the important moments of Maisie’s life, he couldn’t help but hope the guy had finally changed.
Her eyes became teary, and Dean hated seeing her like this.
Noticing Dean’s gaze, she recomposed herself, chuckling humorlessly. "Yeah, you guessed it right. But it doesn’t matter, I’ve already dealt with that”. Without giving any more details, she clapped her hands together and looked from one brother to another, shoving the resentment over Eric’s actions down. “So, you guys want some beer?", she pointed over her shoulder to the inside of the house.
"I'm fine for now, thanks. I'm gonna go say hi to the rest of the gang", answered Sam, looking over his shoulder to the corner of the house, where he could see some of his old classmates among Maisie's guests hanging out in the backyard.
"I'll take that beer", said Dean. Not only he never said no to a beer before, but he also hoped to spend some time with her. For some reason, he took an immediate liking to Maisie. She seemed very nice. And she was pretty.
"Great! Come with me", she said, turning and gesturing for him to follow.
Once inside, Dean noticed right away that the outside of the house gave a perfectly good idea of how the inside looked. The place was cozy, small and neat. He didn’t remember ever being in a typical countryside home, but he was pretty sure it would look somewhat like Maisie’s home, maybe a little bigger.
He looked around while she opened the fridge and grabbed two bottles, opening them, giving one to Dean and leaning against the kitchen counter. When she led the bottle to her lips, Dean noticed that her right hand was bandaged.
"What happened to your hand, if you don't mind me asking?", he questioned, taking a sip of the cold beverage.
"Oh, I hurt it while I was hanging the lights. The ones at the entrance. Eric was supposed to help me but, as you know, he didn’t show up, so…", she left the sentence incomplete, shrugging as if it was nothing, but Dean could tell she was upset about it.
"It seems like your boyfriend is not very… present", he commented, trying to take it easy on his disapproving tone, but failing to do it.
"Yeah, you can say that", Maisie replied, her voice barely audible.
“Sorry about that”, Dean said and approached her, gently holding her hand and looking at the bandage, just to make sure she dressed the wound properly.
The girl felt her heart racing. She knew Dean and Sam got hurt a lot. Their job was scary and dangerous, so Dean was probably just seeing if she had taken good care of the wound. But that was exactly what made her heart skip a couple of beats. I mean, how sweet is it that he barely knows me and is being so nice already?, she thought.
Maisie felt an urge to get closer to him, to open her heart and let him in. The last time she did that was with Eric, and it hasn’t worked well. But, somehow, she knew Dean was different.
“I wish that was the worst thing he’d done”, she said, more to herself than to Dean.
“Sorry?”, Dean raised his head, still holding her hand.
“E- Eric, I mean. He also didn’t come to my parents’ funeral’, she explained, knowing it was too late to ask Dean to let it go. Might as well finish what I’ve started.
"Wow. I'm sorry, but that's fucked up, Maisie". A mixture of anger and pity, that was what Dean was feeling. Maisie was a good person, based on what Sam said. And even if she weren’t, what kind of boyfriend doesn't go to his girlfriend's parents' funeral?
"I'm sorry, Dean. I- I don't know why I said that out loud", she took her injured hand away from his and placed the tips of her fingers on her temples, rubbing lightly. She didn’t want his pity. She wasn’t sure of why she shared that particular story with him, but she was regretting it now.
"No, it's fine. It's not okay that he wasn't there. Or that he ain't here", he added, standing by her side and leaning against the counter too.
"Yeah. But it’s ok. Thanks for saying that, though. Should we go outside?", she asked and forced a smile, deciding it was best to enjoy the night and forget about things that weren’t as good as she wanted.
Dean shrugged. "I wouldn't mind staying here talking to you for a bit more, but yeah, let's go".
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Another thing Dean would never forget was how easy and fun that night was.
Most of it was because of Maisie. She was such a good hostess, always making sure people were comfortable, well fed and with their cups full.
Her guests involved some friends and former colleagues, along with two cousins; no more than a dozen people. Everyone was nice and friendly, and Dean could tell Sam was enjoying being amongst people he knew outside the hunting world. For a moment, his mind wandered: how would life be if they were normal, 20-something dudes? Would they go to a lot of parties? Would Sam and Jess be married by now?
Despite the wandering thoughts, Dean was having fun too. Maisie included him in every conversation. He was the outsider, after all. She sat by his side and touched his hand and arm often, not letting him close himself off or feel intimidated by the group of Stanford’s nerds, as she was calling her friends, which made Dean chuckle.
As the night went on, Dean felt more and more drawn to her. Hell, he knew getting involved with someone who was in what it seemed like a complicated relationship was the fastest way to walk right into a huge problem. But he couldn’t care less this time. He wanted Maisie, and he had a feeling she might want him too.
So Dean flirted with her a few times, trying not to be too obvious. He didn’t want her thinking he was just trying to get laid, because he wasn’t. His first goal was to make her feel wanted and valued. He had a feeling Eric didn’t do that very often.
When the pizzas she'd ordered arrived, he got up from his seat and offered to help bringing them to the backyard.
"Thanks, Dean", she smiled at him, accepting the offer and assessing his face, trying to understand why he was being so nice.
"No worries, sweetheart".
The endearment made her blush. Maisie was finding it hard to believe Dean was real. He was too handsome for his own good. From the freckled skin to the dark blonde hair and the green eyes, he was damn perfect. Plus, he was funny and nice to everyone. She was fascinated with him.
Deciding she might as well enjoy the attention she wasn’t used to getting, she hooked her arm in his and led him to the front yard, where the delivery guy was waiting.
They grabbed the pizzas and went inside the house again. Dean waited while Maisie was looking for some paper plates.
“Ugh”, she complained, getting on her tiptoes so she could search inside a high cupboard, “I could’ve sworn those plates were somewhere in here”.
Smiling at her efforts to reach a door that was way too high for her height, Dean walked to her, extending his arm and easily retrieving the plates and handing them to Maisie.
She smiled and crossed her arms in front of her chest, which made Dean stare at her boobs for like two seconds. He couldn’t really help himself. She didn’t seem to notice, and was faking annoyance with the fact that he was so much taller than her.
“That was a little humiliating, Winchester, but thanks for the help”, she joked, taking the plates and patting his arm lightly.
He laughed. “Sure. What kind of man would I be if I saw a pretty lady in distress and had done nothing about it?”, Dean teased a little more, making her smile widen.
“What a gentleman!”, Maisie shook her head, motioning for him to follow her outside.
In the backyard, they placed the pizzas on a table at the corner and Maisie gave each guest a plate, inviting them to help themselves to the food. She and Dean grabbed a slice each and went back to sit at their previous chairs.
“Tell me, Dean”, she started, after swallowing a considerably big bite of her slice, “how are you single?”.
He stared at her with a raised eyebrow.
“I mean, don’t get me wrong”, she continued, noticing he was surprised with the sudden question. “You’re a nice, smart guy. You have a cool car - yes, I’ve seen her when you guys arrived, and Sam told me all about your Baby -,” she added when he smiled, pleased to know she noticed his most beloved possession, “and you’re obviously very good looking. And yet, you’re here, hanging out with your brother’s friend, in a party full of Law school nerds. Why aren’t you out there, at some cool bar, flirting with some tall, busty blonde?”. Maisie shook her head, honestly trying to find some explanation for why Dean was there, at her house, where he could literally be fooling around with any woman in town.
Dean chuckled, and Maisie found it cute how his ears turned red when she complimented him.
“Well, first of all, thanks. Second of all, don’t think so little of yourself. Sam told me you know what we do for a living”, he whispered the last part, getting closer to her, and his hot breath formed goosebumps on her skin. “So you also know we don’t usually go to normal parties. Fuck, who am I kidding? We never go to any party, period. That being said, it’s been fun hanging out with you and your friends. Especially with you. It’s nice to talk about normal stuff, being around normal people”, he shrugged, and she could see he was being honest. Maisie felt sorry for him. He had to face so many scary, dangerous things, and could never enjoy a break, something as simple as eating pizza and drinking beer with friends in the backyard.
“Also”, he continued talking, bringing her back from her thoughts, “I had my time with busty blondes in bars. Now I prefer to hang out with pretty girls who happen to have good taste in beer”. Dean winked at her, biting at his lower lip, gaze switching from her eyes to her lips, making Maisie feel her insides clench.
Damn, he’s hot, she thought.
“So, I guess the reason why I’m single, aside from the life I live, I mean, is that all the beautiful girls who just graduated are stuck with jerks for boyfriends”.
Maisie laughed, finding his unashamed flirtation amusing.
“I said you’re nice, smart and handsome, but I forgot the most important part: you’re funny too!”, she exclaimed, playfully punching his arm.
He smiled back, and she shook her head, looking down and becoming serious again.
“I broke up with Eric, Dean”, Maisie confessed, surprising Dean.
“Really?”
“Yeah. Earlier today, before you and Sam arrived, I texted him, because everyone else was already here, except for Eric. He texted me back ‘can’t make it, stuck at work’”, she chuckled, humorlessly. “The bastard didn’t even say he was sorry. So I paid him the same respect he paid me. I texted back, saying he shouldn’t bother showing up ever again, that I didn’t wanna see his face and it was all over between us. He never answered”, Maisie finished, taking a deep breath.
“I’m sorry it had to be like this, Maisie. But, for what’s worth, I think you did the right thing. He doesn’t deserve you”, Dean stated, green eyes staring into her dark ones, the intensity of his stare making her heart race.
“Our relationship was over way before today, to be honest. But thanks for saying that, Dean”.
“You’re welcome, sweetheart”.
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Around 11:30 P.M., people started to leave. Sam, Dean and one of Maisie’s cousins were the only ones still there.
Maisie was leaning against the table, chatting with her cousin and stealing glances at Sam and Dean. They were helping her put all the trash that was scattered around the backyard in a bag. Dean noticed she told something to the girl and pointed her chin in their direction, walking towards them a second later, towing the cousin by the girl’s hand.
“Sam”, Maisie called, making Sam get up from where he was crouched, picking up some plastic cups and dirty napkins from the floor.
“Can you do me a favor and drive Betty home? She lives on the other side of town with our aunt Theresa, who’s an old lady and can’t be alone for too long. Would you give her a ride, please, so she doesn’t have to wait for a cab?”, Maisie explained.
“Of course!”, Sam agreed immediately, looking at Dean, who was already fishing the car keys from the front pocket of his jeans. They both noticed that Maisie asked for Sam to give Betty a ride home, and not Dean, so she obviously wanted him to stay.
Sam caught the keys Dean tossed at him, and Dean watched the corners of his mouth turn up into a smirk. Sam didn’t say anything, but he knew his older brother well, and he also knew Maisie. He’d noticed their behavior the whole night and how they got along. Him driving Maisie’s cousin to the other side of town was the perfect excuse for them to be alone.
After Sam left with Betty and they were done cleaning up, Dean tied the trash bag and placed it on the side of the house. Maisie was waiting for him at the backdoor, holding some leftover pizza and the paper plates that weren’t used.
They both entered the small kitchen and Dean leaned against the counter, watching while she silently put everything back in its place.
"So", he started, getting her attention, "that was a good party".
"Thanks", Maisie replied, smiling. "I'm glad you guys came. I mean, I finally got to meet the famous Dean Winchester", she joked, that beautiful blush rising on her cheeks again.
He chuckled, lowering his head and scratching his neck. Maisie only knew Dean for a few hours and she already noticed the gesture meant he was nervous. She found it cute.
"Don't know about the famous part, but I'm glad I got to know you too", he stated while she walked to lean on the counter by his side.
"Yeah? What is it about me that made you glad to be here?", she asked, looking up at him through her thick lashes.
Dean decided to go along with her flirting. She was hot, sexy in a very particular way. She was small, with thick legs, wide hips and a round, ample ass. Her short hair made her look younger than she actually was, and the big rounded eyes added to it. All of that only added to the fact that she was sweet, kind, and funny.
“Huh, let’s see. You’re pretty impressive. I mean, you went through with college, became a lawyer, despite all the shit that happened in your life”, he pondered. “That alone is already awesome. Also ‘cause you’re obviously important to Sam. He wouldn’t come to anyone’s party. Thanks for being a good friend to my brother, by the way”. Dean took her injured hand in his, rubbing her fingers lightly with his thumb.
“You’re welcome”, she said in a low voice. “He’s a great dude”.
“Yeah, he is”, Dean agreed, the pride obvious in his tone. “Oh, how I wish all Sammy’s friends were as easy on the eyes as you are”, he shook his head and tsked, as if he was stating something very, very serious and upsetting.
That made her laugh out loud. She came closer to him, still chuckling, and raised her head to stare into his beautiful green eyes. Dean placed one hand on her cheek, thumb caressing her soft skin, while he kept the other hand on the counter, caging Maisie between his body and the furniture.
Her stare went to his lips and back to his eyes in a quick, almost imperceptible movement. She wanted to kiss him so badly. Her heart was racing, pounding against her chest.
She stood on her tiptoes to reach his face, and Dean slid his hand to the small of her back, supporting her and bringing her close to his body, when-
The sound of a loud honk startled them both, pulling them out of their lust haze.
“What the hell-?”, Maisie cursed, walking to the front door to see who was making such a loud noise that late at night.
Dean followed her to see a blue Prius parked in front of her house. The driver’s door opened widely and a guy got out of the car, stumbling.
“Eric?”, Maisie exclaimed, wide-eyed. “What the hell are you doing here? I told you not to come!”, she said while walking to him, doing her best to keep her voice down and not wake up the neighbors.
The guy came tripping on his own feet, raising his hands as a peace offering. “I know, darling, I saw your text. But I wanted to apologize. I was such a fool-”
“No, no, no”, Maisie interrupted him, raising her own hand to stop Eric mid-speech. “I won’t accept your apology this time, Eric. Just- just go home. You’re obviously drunk, I’m gonna call you a cab”, she turned her back to him, wanting to go inside the house and make the call, but he grabbed her arm, making her stop.
“I’m not going anywhere until you talk to me, bitch!”, he yelled, his grip making it impossible for her to free herself of his hold.
“Let go of me!”, Maisie demanded, turning around and trying to pull her arm, but he grabbed the other one, yanking her closer.
“I won’t let you break up with me!”, he screamed, his face contorting in a mug.
Everything was happening so fast. Maisie tried to take a step back and kick Eric between his legs, but Dean was faster; her was by her side in a second, shoving Eric away and putting himself between the drunk man and Maisie.
“Get away from her, asshole!”, he threatened, pointing a finger to Eric’s face, his other hand splayed on the guy’s chest to stop him from getting to Maisie.
“And who the hell are you?”, Eric questioned, in a drunk drawl, looking from Dean to Maisie, who was rubbing her arms where he had left red marks on her fair skin.
“Doesn’t matter who I am, she asked you to leave, so leave!”, Dean pushed him again, making Eric stumble in the direction of the parked car.
“Oh, so you’re fucking her? Just ‘cause I didn’t come to her stupid party with her stupid nerd friends, she’s already spreading her legs to another dude? I always knew you were a slut!”, Eric spat on the driveway, turning around and running to his car when Dean got closer to him, ready to throw a punch.
“Let him go, Dean. He’s not worth it”, Maisie asked, placing a hand on his back, and Dean stopped.
“Jackass”, Dean said while the other man cowardly drove away, tires screeching.
Dean turned around and went to her, placing his hands on her shoulders and assessing the bruises in both her arms. “Jesus Christ, Maisie, he hurt you. Are you ok?”.
“I’m- I’m ok. God, Dean, he’s super drunk. He’s gonna kill himself in that car”, Maisie said, worried. Tears were running freely down her face.
Dean was much more worried about her than about that piece of crap. But he understood her concern, and didn’t want Maisie to be even more stressed out than she already was.
“Let’s go inside and call the police, sweetheart. We can let them know there’s a drunk dude driving around”, he offered, and she accepted, leaning into his embrace.
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Fifteen minutes later, they had talked to the police and reported Eric. Maisie refused to go to a police station and file a report on his assault. Dean argued, but she promised it was all over between them, that she wouldn’t let Eric be anywhere near her again.
“Besides, he’s probably gonna be arrested for DUI anyways”, she shrugged, not at all feeling sorry for her ex-boyfriend’s future problems with the police.
So Dean made her a cup of tea and they sat on the couch, him helping her put some ice on her bruised arms.
“You sure you’re ok?”, he asked for what had to be the tenth time.
“Yeah, I’ll be fine”, she answered, sniffing.
Dean watched her closer, just to make sure she wasn’t hiding anything.
“Hey, Maisie. Let me ask you something”, he started, and she nodded, signaling he could go ahead. “Has he ever- was he ever violent with you- before?”
She shook her head, but the fresh wave of tears in her eyes told Dean there was a “but” coming. “H-he broke a glass once, when he was really drunk, like today. We argued for the same reason: he wasn’t around when I needed him. I called him out for it, he got mad and threw a glass against the wall. But he never- put his hands on me like this before”, she explained.
Dean slid closer to her, gently catching her tears with his fingertips. “Good. I was afraid it wasn’t the first time he hurt you”.
“Yeah, no, he’s never done that before. Just, you know, didn’t show up, cheated on me and stuff like that”, she shrugged and rolled her eyes like it wasn’t a big deal.
“He cheated on you? Just when I thought he couldn’t be a bigger pile of shit”, Dean shook his head, jaw clenching.
She sighed deeply before answering. “He cheated once, that I know of. And I was stupid enough to forgive him and let him come back”.
“But- I mean, don’t get me wrong here, but… why haven’t you told him to fuck off then?”
Maisie chuckled at Dean’s question. “I guess I was so used to having him around… I mean, we started dating in my first year of college. Things were good between us, as far as I know, except for one or two things here and there. Then, my parents died and he didn’t come to their service. We had an argument that day, and it was the first time I thought about breaking up with him. My friends warned me, Sam included, but I was so scared of being alone, Dean”, she confessed, looking him in the eyes for the first time in a while. “I had just lost the two most important people in my life. I had no close family around, aside from Betty and aunt Theresa. I didn’t wanna lose Eric too, so I thought I should forgive him, make an effort on behalf of our relationship. It was stupid of me, I know”, she finished, covering her face with her hands, regretting her past decision.
“Hey, hey, no”, Dean called, reaching for her, circling her shoulders with one arm so he could give her a side hug. Maisie melted, leaning her cheek on his chest and exhaling a shaky sigh.
He kissed the top of her head, running his hand up and down her back. “You did nothing wrong. Sorry if my question made you think you did. It’s just- you’re such a great girl. I was having a hard time understanding why you were with a guy like him. But I see it now. I know it sucks to feel alone, like you have no one to be your home. I hope you know you don’t need him, Mais”.
Dean parted from her and placed his large hand on her chin, lifting her face up to look her in the eyes. “You’re beautiful, funny, smart, and you have friends all around that love you, sweetheart”, he caressed her jawline with his thumb, the rough pads of his fingers sending a shiver down her spine.
“I like when you say that”, she confessed, smiling under the tears.
Dean raised his eyebrows at her. “When I say what?”, he asked with a mischievous smirk.
“When you call me sweetheart. And ‘Mais’. Nobody ever called me that. I like the nickname. And I like hearing you say ‘sweetheart’”, she blushed furiously, to Dean’s amusement.
“Oh, good to know it makes you blush so prettily”, Dean teased, taking her hand in his and intertwining their fingers. He led their joined hands to his lips, kissing her knuckles softly, those green eyes never leaving her face.
Maisie’s teary eyes darkened. She wanted him so badly it was overwhelming, but it wasn’t the right moment.
“Dean, I-”
“Sorry”, he interrupted, letting go of her hand and running his fingers through his hair, spiking the soft strands even more. “I just thought- that you and I-”.
“Dean, hear me out”, she placed a finger over his plump lips, effectively shushing him. “I want this to happen, whatever this is, between you and me. I want… to get to know you. If you want to, that is. But I need to make sure it has nothing to do with Eric. With me being in need of comfort, or company, or about you protecting me from him - which I’m thankful for, by the way. I broke up with him and I’m fine with that, ready to forget all about him. Still, I need some time to gather my thoughts, to really understand how I’m feeling, what I’m feeling”, she paused there, grabbing her mug from the coffee table and taking a sip of tea. “I’m probably being so ridiculous right now, but I… I felt something for you the minute I saw you, Dean”, she gulped, scared about how he would react to her confession. If Maisie wasn’t always so rational, she would’ve probably taken things further with Dean that night. But she couldn’t do that. It wasn’t fair with either of them. Still, she knew, in her heart and mind, that she’d never met anyone who made her feel like that before.
Adorably, his ears turned red again. “Bashful” wasn’t an adjective she would use to describe Dean right away - especially because he flirted with her two minutes after they met. But she could already tell he was a complex character, and that was another thing about Sam’s older brother that drew her to him.
“I understand. I also felt something when I saw you earlier today… actually, when Sam showed me a picture of you, I was like ‘damn, she’s gorgeous’”, he revealed, grinning, and Maisie blushed with the compliment.
“Thank you, Dean. That’s very nice of you to say”, she replied, placing her hand over his on the couch. He turned his palm up and laced their fingers again.
“It’s true, though”, he shrugged, and they just sat there for a few minutes, staring at their joined hands until the sound of Dean’s phone made them jump slightly.
He got the phone from the coffee table. “Sam wants to know if he should come back to pick me up”, Dean read the text, looking up at Maisie with a questioning look.
She stared back at him with those big, doe eyes, and he immediately knew he should stay. Understandably, she wasn’t very comfortable with being alone.
“So, is it ok if I stay?”, Dean asked, making sure he got her right.
“I- I can’t ask more from you, Dean. You’ve done so much for me today-”
“No, no, no”, he interrupted, squeezing her hand in reassurance, “I’d rather stay, if that’s ok with you. I’ll feel better knowing you’re ok. I’ll tell Sam to go back to the motel and pick me up in the morning”. Dean smiled and Maisie smiled back, relieved.
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“I can sleep on the couch, you know”, Dean said for the second time, while walking behind Maisie.
“No way, I have a guest room. I mean, it’s not much, it’s just the room that used to be mine, since now I sleep in the room that was my parents’”, she explained, opening the door and entering her former bedroom.
Three walls were painted in a pale lilac, while the fourth one, behind the bed, was purple. The marks on the painting signaled that there were posters or pictures glued there, probably from Maisie’s teenage years.
It was a spacious room with a big, comfy bed. Dean couldn’t even remember the last time he slept in one of those. He was glad for the comfort, but wished the circumstances were different. He wished Maisie didn’t need to be kept safe from a piece of crap like Eric.
“You think you’re gonna be ok in here?”, she interrogated, interrupting his thoughts.
“Hell, yeah”, he said, walking to the bed. “Sweetheart, if you saw the places Sam and I usually crash… this is a freaking palace!”
Maisie chuckled. “Good. There’s some blankets in the closet and towels, if you wanna shower. I’m gonna go to bed now. My room is next door, so just knock if you need something, ok? And make yourself at home”, she said, opening her arms and approaching to give Dean a hug.
“Sleep tight, sweetheart. I’ll be fine”.
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The first time they shared a bed was forever ingrained into Dean’s brain.
Dean woke up with a knock on his door. He listened for a second, just to make sure he wasn’t dreaming or imagining things.
Then he heard the knock again, followed by Maisie’s voice calling his name almost in a whisper. “Dean, can I come in?”
He sat up on the bed and told her to come in. She immediately opened the door, looking scared and pale.
“What’s wrong?”, Dean asked, patting on the bed by his side, signaling for her to sit.
“I- I had a nightmare, Dean”, she sat and he could see she was shaking. He held her cold hand, listening attentively. “He- he came for me again. I- I don’t wanna… Can I stay with you?”, she asked, looking up at him with tears in her beautiful eyes.
“Of course. Of course, sweetheart. Come here”, he said, laying on the bed and stretching his arm for her to fit by his side. She lifted the covers and laid down with her head against his chest, legs slotted close to his.
Dean engulfed her in his warmth, noticing she looked even shorter laying by his side, scared and vulnerable. He silently cursed Eric for making her feel like this.
Placing his arm around her waist, he pulled her closer, lips slightly brushing the top of her head.
“It’s gonna be ok, Maisie. I won’t let anything happen to you”.
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Dean didn’t know what woke him up the next morning. But, before even opening his eyes, he felt a warm, soft body against his. His mind filled the blanks in seconds, reminding him of everything that happened the day before, and how he ended up being someone’s big spoon.
Opening his eyes slowly, he didn’t dare to move an inch. His left arm was around Maisie’s waist, fingers laced with hers once more while she held his hand against her stomach. Somehow, both of her legs were trapped between his, slightly bended knees making her perfectly round butt fit to his front, enticingly close to his crotch.
Well, now he was very awake. Every inch of his body was fully awake. He wasn’t exactly used to waking up with a woman in his arms. It happened before, obviously, but he usually didn’t sleep, sleep with them. They would do the deed and he would leave. Or they would. So, yeah, Dean was finding it hard (pun intended) to know what to do to keep that sweet, sweet woman from thinking he was a perv.
He took his time appreciating the sensual curve of Maisie’s neck, her round, soft shoulders, and the dip of her waist, leading to her ample hips.
Behave, man. A voice in his head, that sounded remarkably like Sam’s, scolded him.
A few minutes passed and Dean remained still, listening to Maisie’s deep breaths. And then she started slowly moving, slowly waking up from what he hoped had been a restful sleep.
“Hmm”, she hummed, stretching her body and consequently pushing it closer to Dean’s.
“Morning”, he greeted, holding his breath.
“Morning”, Maisie replied in a cute, sleepy voice. “Sorry for invading your personal space”, she continued, gently trying to untangle from him.
“No need to apologize. I enjoyed it a lot”, he affirmed, smiling when she turned her neck to look at him.
“Me too. Thank you for staying, Dean”, she said, reaching to give him a kiss on the cheek.
“Anytime, sweetheart”.
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The first time they kissed was totally unexpected.
They had breakfast together and Sam came to pick Dean up at around 10 AM.
Dean had promised Maisie they would come back to visit her as soon as possible, and made her promise to call and text so he would know she was ok. He also told her he planned to go to the police station and check if the cops really got to Eric.
Maisie walked him to the door when they heard the Impala’s honk.
“Ok, so I made you guys sandwiches for the trip, and some extra coffee”, she handed Dean a paper bag with the food, which he gladly accepted. “I also want to give you something else, as a thank you”.
“You don’t have to thank me, Mais-”, Dean started, but she interrupted by standing on her tiptoes and kissing on the lips, taking him by surprise. He quickly recovered, placing a hand on her cheek, deepening the kiss a little and guiding her into it, sliding his lower lip over hers and lightly sucking it.
When they separated, she was flushed. “Wow. You were the one who was supposed to win the prize, but I guess I was the lucky one”, Maisie smiled, lips tingling.
“I hope this is enough to convince you to let me come back…”, Dean said, scratching his neck.
“I cannot wait for you to come back. Now, let’s go so I can say goodbye to Sam”, she held his hand and guided him through the door in the direction of the Impala, parked on the street.
Dean was already missing her. It was hard for him to explain even to himself, but he wanted to protect Maisie, to keep her safe. At the same time, her fierceness and determination, the way she held her head up high, showing everyone she could kick their asses, Dean’s included, made him want to push her against the nearest wall and have his way with her in a not-so-sweet manner.
One thing Dean was sure of: he wanted more of that. More of her. He didn’t know when he was coming back, but he had every intention to keep his promise. He hoped his crazy life would allow him.
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38 days later
When came back, things didn’t go the way he expected.
“Hey, Sammy”.
“Yeah”.
“So, I texted Maisie yesterday and asked if we could visit her. We’re done with this job and it’s not far from her. She said yes and invited us for lunch. Is that ok with ya?” Dean questioned without taking his eyes off the road.
“Sure”, the younger Winchester replied, proceeding to look at his brother with a smirk. “So you and Maisie have been in touch since you met her, huh?”
Dean glanced at him and shrugged. “Yeah, I mean… I was there when everything with Eric The Douchebag happened, so I kept checking to make sure she’s ok. Is that a problem?”, he challenged, raising an eyebrow.
“Not at all”, Sam’s smirk got wider. “But if you like her, you can tell me, you know?”, he provoked, knowing Dean would straight away deny having feelings for the girl.
“What? I don’t like her like that!”, was Dean’s immediate answer, earning a chuckle from Sam.
“But why wouldn’t you like her? Is there something wrong with her?”, the younger brother continued, pushing Dean’s buttons and knowing he would end up telling the truth.
“There’s absolutely nothing wrong with her. She’s- she’s hot, funny, smart. She has great style, and she smells so good, man, and those big-”
“Ok, ok, ok!”, Sam interrupted, immediately regretting making Dean talk. “TMI, man. Let’s just go have lunch with Maisie”.
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3 hours later
When the Impala entered Maisie’s street, the Winchesters saw the police car and the ambulance parked in front of her house. Their hunter senses immediately went on full alert.
“Oh, fuck”, cursed Dean, parking on the other side of the street and taking the fake FBI badge Sam was already handing to him.
They both got out of the car and Dean was the first one to spot Maisie sitting on the back of the ambulance, a blanket wrapped around her shoulders while a paramedic finished assessing a cut on the left side of her forehead.
“You go check on her, I’ll talk to the cops”, said Sam, and Dean nodded, walking in the direction of the injured woman.
“Maisie”, he called while approaching the vehicle, his heart racing from both worry and relief to see she didn’t look seriously hurt.
“Dean!”, she exclaimed, getting up and throwing herself in his arms. Thankfully, that was the exact moment when the paramedic finished placing the dressing on her cut, otherwise she would have knocked the poor man out of the way.
“Sweetheart, what happened?”, he asked, hugging her tight and caressing her hair.
Maisie started crying the minute Dean finished his question.
“Hey, hey, it’s ok, you don’t have to say anything. I’m here now, Sam’s here. I- We won’t let anything happen to you”, he shushed while she sobbed.
Dean took her hand and led her back to sit in the ambulance. Maisie was crying too much to speak anyways, so he looked at the paramedic, the silent question of what had happened evident on his concerned features.
“She was knocked out. Luckily, she was fast enough to dial 911 first, so they were able to get the guy on his way out. She’s gonna be fine. Just make sure she gets some rest and changes the dressing tomorrow, okay?”, the man explained, and Dean nodded and thanked him.
He didn’t need any further explanation to know who the guy who knocked her out was. Eric, for sure. Dean just knew from the way Maisie was acting, with how scared she looked. He felt rage rising inside his chest. He wanted to kill the motherfucker with his own hands. Break his teeth so he would learn how to behave like a decent person…
He kept holding Maisie in his arms and, as she started to calm down, Dean shoved his murderous thoughts down and directed his full attention to her.
“What do you wanna do, sweetheart? Do you wanna wait for the cops to finish with your house and go inside? Or do you wanna go somewhere else?”
“So- somewhere else, Dean, p-please. I don’t wanna go back in there. Not now”, she said between sobs.
Dean felt his heart breaking into a million pieces. If I get my hands on that bastard…
“Ok, let me just go tell Sam we’re going to a motel close to here, is that alright? Then you can shower and get some rest”, he questioned, looking into her brown eyes with gentleness and reassurance.
Maisie nodded and Dean placed a light kiss on her forehead. He walked to the front entrance of the girl’s house, where Sam was talking with two cops.
“Gentlemen”, he greeted. “Agent Perry, can I speak to you for a moment, please?”, he told Sam, using their fake FBI agents’ names.
The brothers walked away from the police officers, and Dean turned around to face Sam.
“I’m taking Maisie outta here, man. She doesn’t wanna stay. We’re going to that motel on the road that’s closer to here, the half-decent one. Did they tell you what the hell happened?”
“Yeah”, Sam let out a deep sigh and shook his head. “Eric broke in early in the morning, Maisie was still sleeping. He was drunk and screaming that they should get back together. She said no and told him to leave, so he started to lock all the doors and windows to stop her from escaping. The idiot was so drunk that he didn’t even realize she had her phone and was already dialing 911-”.
“That’s my girl”, Dean interrupted, proudly.
Sam chuckled. “Well, yeah, she was lucky they were fast, because when he came back to her room, he saw her putting the phone down and knocked her out with a plant vase. She passed out and the cops got him trying to escape on foot, just around the corner. He’s facing assault and breaking and entering charges. Considering he already has a record for DUI, he’s gonna be busy for a while”.
“Good. Good. Okay, so we’re leaving. Will you meet us at the motel once you’re done here?”, Dean asked, knowing Sam would take care of everything so he could be with Maisie.
“Yeah, yeah, go ahead. I’ll see if I can have a little chat with Eric at the police station and tell him to stay the fuck away from Maisie, if he manages to get out of jail anytime soon”, Sam said.
“Thanks, brother. Give him your worst”.
Looking back at Maisie and seeing that the cops were asking her some more questions, Dean took the time to go inside and get her a change of clothes. He didn’t know exactly what she would like to wear, but he grabbed a pair of sweatpants, t-shirts and underwear, putting everything inside a bag.
He noticed the broken vase on the floor of her room, where the cops were working, photographing and cataloging the crime scene. Giving a deep sigh, he did his best to control that rage again. Sam would make sure to let Eric know he better stay away. Now, Dean had to focus on taking care of Maisie. That was the most important task.
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On their way to the motel, they stopped quickly at a diner so Dean could get some burgers for lunch. Maisie kept saying she wasn’t hungry, but he would try to convince her to eat, eventually.
At the motel’s front desk, he asked for two rooms: one with two single beds for him and Sam, and another with just one bed, for Maisie.
“Okay, honey, the two singles I can provide, but the only other room available is with a queen size bed, is that ok?”, the nice old lady at the front desk asked.
“Yeah, it’s fine”, Dean answered.
He paid, got the keys, and went back to the Impala, where Maisie was waiting for him.
“All set, sweetheart. Should we go inside?”, he questioned, leaning down to look through the passenger window.
She nodded and they entered the first room, hers, together.
It was simple but apparently clean, recently renovated even. Dean was glad for it.
“Ok, Mais. I brought you some clothes, I’m gonna leave them here in case you wanna change. What do you wanna do now? Eat? Shower? Sleep? Talk to me?”, he offered, not trying to pressure her, but knowing it was good to push her into moving, doing something, instead of sinking into fear and sadness.
“I’m- I think I’m gonna take a shower first. Would you wait for me here?”, she asked, face bloated and stained with tears.
“Of course, sweetheart. I’m only leaving if you tell me to”, he winked at her, making himself comfortable on a chair at the corner of the room.
Ten minutes later, Maisie left the bathroom in an oversized t-shirt that reached the middle of her thighs. Dean couldn’t help but look at her smooth legs.
“Alright, should I leave now, or…?”, he asked, standing up and awkwardly trying to focus on her face and not on the fact that she looked so good wearing so little clothing.
“No”, said Maisie, walking up to Dean and stopping him from leaving by putting a hand on his chest. “I want you to stay with me, Dean”.
He looked at her hand splayed on his chest and then into her face, his heavy breathing revealing his uneasiness.
Maisie looked into his eyes, her own glistening with tears. “Thank you, Dean, again, for being here for me”, she said, sliding her small hand from his chest to his forearm, the delicate touch making him bite his lower lip.
“You don’t have to thank me, sweetheart. I’m sorry I wasn’t here earlier to stop what happened this morning, I-“
“Hey”, she stopped him again, this time taking her hand to his cheek, enjoying the feeling of his stubble against her soft fingers, “There’s no way you could’ve known what would happen”. To Dean’s surprise, Maisie took a step closer to him, still caressing his face, leaving no space between their bodies. “I need to confess, Dean, that I’ve been thinking about you all the time since we’ve first met”, she tangled her fingers through the hair on the back of Dean’s neck, standing on her tiptoes and giving him a peck on the lips. “I’ve been thinking about how it would feel to be with you”, she continued, her lips a mere inch away from him, her warm breath pumping Dean’s blood right between his legs. “How it would be to have you so close, holding me, with nothing between us”. He felt her hardened nipples through her t-shirt and his, touching his abdomen. “What about you? Have you thought about me?”, she asked.
Once again, Dean’s resolution was hanging by a thread. Maisie was making very clear what she wanted, and Dean was torn between giving in to his own desire, and the small rational part of his brain telling him she was responding to trauma in an unhealthy way. “Every fucking second, sweetheart” he answered, honestly. The shine of lust in her eyes was what broke his attempt of being a better man. He held her face between his hand and leaned down, giving her a kiss that started tame, but then turned messy and full of want when he parted her lips with the tip of his tongue, making her moan into his mouth, responding with the same intensity.
Dean maneuvered them so he could sit on the bed and have her on his lap, legs around his waist. Running a hand over the smooth skin of her thigh, he stopped when his fingers were already under her t-shirt. Maisie pushed her breasts against his chest and sighed, while his lips went from her mouth to her collarbone, nibbling and sucking. She held his head as close as possible, trying everything to prevent him from stopping. Between her legs, she felt him hardening under his jeans, and she pressed herself further onto his lap.
“Fuck, Dean”, she moaned, and it woke him up from his arousal-induced trance.
“Mais. Maisie, we need to stop”, Dean asked, pulling away from her lips and closing his eyes to try to gather some self-control.
“Why?”, she asked, trying to capture his mouth in another kiss.
“‘Cause you’re not thinking straight”, Dean said. God knows how much he wanted to keep going. She smelled so good, she looked fantastic like that, freshly showered, with nothing on but her underwear and that oversized t-shirt. But he cared too much about her to take things further at that moment. She’d just been through a terrible trauma and, as a pro at avoiding feelings and acting like nothing wrong had happened, Dean knew exactly what she was doing.
“I don’t wanna think about anything, Dean”, she tried again, holding his plaid flannel by the collar and pushing it off of his shoulders.
“Ok, you don’t have to”, he insisted, gently taking her hands off of his shirt, getting up and sliding her body down to the bed.
Maisie felt ashamed. She hugged her knees and scooched up to lean against the headboard, embarrassed and humiliated by her behavior. Dean sat back next to her and gently caressed her cheek with his knuckles.
“Hey. It’s not that I don’t want you. You could feel how much I do, right?”, he said, the corner of his mouth lifting in a shy smile.
She raised her head to look at him with tears pooling in her eyes, and nodded almost imperceptibly, cheeks flushed.
“I want you so bad, sweetheart. I just don’t want you to regret this. Don’t do this to forget about what happened. Do this for you. Do you get what I’m trying to say?”, Dean asked, his other hand now placed protectively on her knee.
Maisie nodded again. “I’m- I’m sorry, Dean”, she said, and the tears started to run freely down her face.
“No, no, no, you have nothing to be sorry for”. He went closer to her, placing one arm around her shoulders. “Everything is gonna be fine, ok? Don’t worry”, he reassured, kissing the top of her head and pulling her to his chest. Maisie wrapped her arms around him, letting Dean’s warmth heal her wounds.
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It was already dark outside when Sam finally got to the motel. After their talk, Dean convinced Maisie to eat and she finally fell asleep.
Sam knocked on the door and Dean went outside to talk to him, trying to not disturb Maisie’s sleep.
“Hey, took you long enough”, Dean greeted. “How was it?”
Sam took a deep breath. He looked tired. “Well, the idiot wanted to give me an attitude, but I kept the FBI agent cover. I told him Maisie had friends in the Bureau, and if he tried something funny again I would make sure his ass would stay in jail forever. It also helped that I’m much taller than him”, he smirked, making Dean chuckle.
“Thanks, man. He actually deserves life in jail for what he put her through”, Dean stated, looking inside the room through a crack on the door.
“How is she doing?”, Sam asked, pointing to the room with his head.
“She’s… she’s ok, considering. I managed to get her to eat, but she didn’t want to talk about what happened, so I’m giving her some space. She’s asleep now. Here’s the key to the room next door. I’m gonna stay until Maisie wakes up. I don’t want her to find herself alone and think I left or something…”, Dean explained.
“Okay, yeah, you’re right. I’m gonna try and sleep a bit too. But call me if you guys need anything, ok?”, Sam assured and Dean agreed, going back inside the room.
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It was almost midnight when Maisie woke up. The first thing she did after opening her eyes was look for Dean. He was sitting in the chair at the corner of the room, soundly asleep. His head was leaning on his left shoulder in a way that would surely make his neck hurt like a son of a bitch later.
Maisie got up and went to him, gently shaking his arm.
“Dean? Wake up”.
“Huh?”, he groaned, immediately opening his eyes and sitting straight.
“Hey, didn’t wanna scare you. You should come to bed”, she said, noticing how cute he looked even groggy with sleep.
The barely-awake state didn’t stop Dean from noticing Maisie told him to come to bed and not to go to bed. But he didn’t want to assume anything.
“Well, Sam’s back, so I’m just gonna join him at the room next door”, he got up and rubbed his sleepy eyes.
Maisie averted his eyes and blushed. “I- I was hoping you would stay…”
“I can also do that”, Dean reassured, smiling at her. He didn’t want her to think he was trying to avoid her. He would definitely feel better staying and knowing he would be close in case she needed him. “I’m gonna make myself a bed next to you and-”
“No”, she held his arm, stopping him from going in the direction of the tiny closet next to the bathroom. “The bed is big enough for both of us”, she blushed deeper.
“Are you sure?”, Dean questioned.
“I’m sure, Dean. I’ll behave, I promise”, she joked, in an attempt to dismiss the lingering embarrassment.
“C’mon, I didn’t mean it like that”, Dean started. “I’m just trying to say you don’t have to worry about me, I’m fine sleeping on the floor”.
“But I’m not”, she shot back. “I’ll be fine if you sleep on the bed”. She would never feel comfortable asking him to stay and then make him sleep on the floor.
“Ok”, he said. “I’m just gonna wash my face and be back in a second then”.
Dean left the bathroom a few minutes later, holding his jeans, plaid shirt and belt on one hand. He was down to his black t-shirt and boxers in the same color. Maisie was already in bed, laying on her side, covers pulled up to her shoulders.
“Is it ok if I sleep in my underwear?”, he asked, leaving his clothes on the chair and walking to the opposite side of the bed.
“Of course”, she answered, trying to sound casual while not at all feeling like that.
Even though they had slept in the same bed at her house the first time they met, it was dark and Dean was under the covers, so she didn’t really have the chance to see him. This time though, she had a full view: strong, thick, slightly bowed legs, firm and round ass, beautiful forearms speckled with freckles, wide shoulders. Maisie felt a tug in her lower belly. If she was attracted to him before, now she was even more sure she wanted to have her way with the fine man that was Dean Winchester.
But Maisie closed her eyes and focused on falling asleep and, ideally, stay away from Dean. Maybe he was right and she did chose the wrong moment to make a move, but the feeling of rejection was still very present.
Feeling the bed dip and the covers move when Dean was laying down, she closed her eyes and was about to wish him a good night, when she felt his arm sneaking around her middle, pulling her closer. She gasped in surprise. They were close enough for her to feel his warm breath on her ear.
“Is that ok?”, Dean whispered. “I kinda like being your big spoon”.
“It’s perfect. Good night, Dean”, she answered, thinking she could get used to being wrapped in him.
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When the pair woke up the next morning, they had changed positions and were facing each other instead of spooning. Maisie’s arms were tucked to her front, against Dean’s chest, while his arm was over her hip.
Maisie was the first to open her eyes. Dean was sleeping peacefully, mouth slightly opened. A lump started to form in her throat when everything that had happened the day before came back to her memory. It seemed like ages ago, but the fear she felt when Eric broke into her house crept inside her, making her stomach drop with the thought of what could have happened if she didn’t act fast enough.
She took a deep breath and focused on Dean’s face. His perfect face. Her heart skipped a beat with the thought of kissing him. She knew she was falling in love with the guy. They literally talked every day since the day they met, and things with him just flowed easily, so uncompromising. The idea of being with someone who would be there for her was all she ever wished for.
When Dean stopped her from taking things further the day before, she understood that it looked like she wanted sex as a coping mechanism, but he was wrong. She really wanted him because of him, not because of Eric. The timing was bad, yeah, but she was sure about what she wanted. She still felt embarrassed though, especially because maybe she got it wrong and Dean didn’t want the same as she did.
As if he could hear her thinking, he started to slowly wake up. He opened his eyes a little and smiled when he saw her watching him.
“Hey”.
“Hey, you”, she replied in a whisper.
“How are you feeling?”, he asked, and Maisie held her breath when his fingers started to lightly caress her hip.
“I’m- I’m gonna be fine, I guess”.
“I know you will”, Dean reassured, and leaned forward to place a feathery kiss on the tip of her nose and a longer one on her lips. He wanted to show her he wasn’t against being intimate with her. God, no. It was actually the exact opposite. He really wanted them to be as intimate as possible. The thought had crossed his mind more times than he could count since they met. But he didn’t want their first time to have anything to do with her ex-boyfriend. He wanted to be more to her than a coping mechanism, and that thought was scaring him to death, because he had probably been a coping mechanism to multiple women. And, if he was being honest, they were his sometimes too. In his defense, he never promised any kind of commitment or long-term relationship to any of them. And that was always fine and fulfilling both for him and for the women, he made sure of that. But, with Maisie, he wanted more than one night. He wanted to keep coming back to her as much as she would allow him to.
She interrupted his thoughts by calling his name.
“What, sweetheart?”
“I’m sorry again about yesterday. I’m sorry if I crossed the line and moved too fast,-”, she started babbling, nervously looking anywhere but in his eyes, her anxious thoughts taking the best of her.
“Hey”, Dean placed his hand on her cheek softly. “You didn’t do anything I didn’t want you to do. I really wanna be with you, Mais. But I want this to be right for us, for you. I need you to be sure this, us, has nothing to do with-”
It was her turn to stop him. “I understand, Dean. But yesterday was not a response to my trauma. I did what I did because I really, really like you. And, honestly…”, her voice broke, “I just need you to show me that there’s good and kindness in this world, not just loss, and pain, and loneliness-”
Dean didn’t let her finish. He placed his large hands on her cheeks and pulled her face closer, giving her a sensual open-mouthed kiss that took her breath away. Licking and tasting her thoroughly, he draw a throaty moan out of her. Once the kiss was over, Dean’s arm went around her waist, pushing her by the lower back so their bodies would get closer, giving her small pecks on the lips. Maisie’s hand was on his shoulder, and it descended to his bicep and his back, feeling the muscles moving under the freckled skin. She threw a leg over his hip, and Dean couldn’t hold back anymore.
“You sure about this, sweetheart?”,  he asked, plump lips now on the curve of her neck.
“Yeah, I’m sure. Now kiss me again", the girl demanded, rolling on her back and pulling him with her, lips already glued to his. He leaned over her, positioning himself on top and pulling her leg further up around his waist so he could fit between her thighs.
She pushed her hands under his t-shirt, running her fingers over his strong, firm body, while Dean’s lips were on her neck, his hands on her hips, slowly pulling her panties down. Maisie lifted her butt from the bed to help, and Dean threw the panties away without stopping kissing her.
“Take your shirt off, Dean”, she demanded, and he quickly obeyed. Maisie stared at him towering over her, his toned body looking godly under the dim lights of the room. “You’re so handsome”, she praised, stunned by the Winchesters genes.
Dean smirked and blushed shyly, having no time to reply once Maisie pulled him by the hem of his boxers to resume his previous position. The kissing was back on, and Dean pulled her oversized t-shirt off, leaving her fully naked.
Even though Maisie was not insecure about her body, Dean was staring at her so intently, in a way that the other guys in her life never did, as if he was memorizing her. It made her feel a little self-conscious.
"Dean? What’s wrong?", she asked, voice barely there, as if she was afraid of the answer. Maisie faced Eric’s judgement before and did her best to not be affected by it, but she wasn’t ready to hear any snark comments about her appearance at this vulnerable moment.
Dean’s chest was heaving and his eyes were taking in the woman laid down in front of him. Wetting his lower lip with the tip of his tongue and shaking his head lightly, he ran a hand from her waist to her under boob, pupils dilated. “Nothing’s wrong, I was just thinking… that Eric dude is so damn stupid".
“What?”, she furrowed her brows in surprise, not at all expecting him to bring up Eric when they were about to have sex.
"Look at you, Maisie. You look incredible. If you were mine, I would do anything to keep you", he kissed her then, lowering his body over hers until there was no space between them, his naked chest warm against hers.
Maisie’s heart skipped a beat with Dean’s words. Eric was never one to praise her in bed, or in any occasion, if she was being honest. With Dean, it was not only what he was saying, but also the fact that she could see the lust in his green eyes, in the way he was breathing, and from the hardness between his legs pressing against her center, making her wet.
She sneaked a hand between them, reaching for Dean’s boxers, rushing to have no barrier between them. As if he was again reading her thoughts, he guided her hand to the front of his underwear, pressing it against the outline of his hard cock. “You’re making me so hard, sweetheart”, he breathed, eyelids heaving as Maisie pulled the piece of clothing down his thighs, finally revealing his veiny, thick cock, to her sight.
“Can I touch you?”, she asked, placing her palm in his lower belly, feeling his muscles twitch under her touch.
“Yeah”, Dean answered, watching her every move.
She slid her hand down and closed her fist around his lengthy cock, caressing it, feeling it heavy and warm. “Fuck, Dean, you’re hot as fuck”.
He chuckled with the compliment. “Right back atcha, baby. Lemme touch you too”, Dean said, already running his hand on the inside of her thigh, fingers gently probing her center. She lowered her head to watch him use his fingers to spread her lips and gather the slick there, using it to lubricate his cock and make her hand slide easily on the length.
Maisie moaned with his touch, and Dean took it as an incentive to bring his hand back to her pussy and push one finger inside while he kissed her again. They touched each other for a few more minutes, until Dean placed his hand on top of hers, making her stop the up and down movements that were driving him completely insane.
“Mais, I need you to stop”, he asked, pulling back and watching her face, cheeks flushed, lips swollen from his kisses and bites, looking absurdly sexy.
“What’s wrong?”, she questioned, concerned.
“Nothing ‘s wrong, it’s just if you keep doing that I’m not gonna last”, he confessed, crawling over Maisie again, kissing her deeply, using one hand to support his weight and the other to caress her plump breast, rubbing the nipple with his thumb. “I wanna be inside you. Wanna make you cum so hard you’re gonna forget every jackass that didn’t fuck you as good you deserve”, he whispered against her lips, letting go of her breast and running his hand down her body until he reached her center again. He then held his cock and ran it through her lips, not really entering her but coating himself with her slick even more, bumping her clit and making Maisie moan with the feeling. “Do you want that?”, he asked, teasing.
“Yes, yes, please Dean, just fuck me already”, she whined, eager to know how he would feel inside of her.
Dean pushed the tip of his cock in her entrance, feeling her already stretching to accommodate him. He hissed at the feeling of warmth and wetness, her nails digging at his shoulders as he entered her slowly, with in and out movements, inch by inch, taking turns between kissing her and sucking her nipples, as Maisie slid one hand down his back to push his hips, silently asking him to go all the way in.
With him completely sheathed inside her, Maisie was feeling so full and stretched, to the point where she knew it would hurt a little once he started moving. Dean was so thick, she found it hot how much she was struggling to take him. He was making her feel things she wasn't used to and, at this point, she just wanted him to fuck her senseless.
He seemed to have a different idea, though, judging by how his hips were completely still.
"Dean", she called, running one hand through his soft hair, "can- can you move? I need you to move", she pleaded, voice strangled with need.
"In a minute, baby. Just need to get used to you. You have no idea how good you feel", he explained, grunting and moving a few inches out of her, teeth clenched. He could feel her muscles snuggling him so much he was afraid he was gonna come, but the need to drive himself deeper inside of her was too much. He did exactly that, and judging by Maisie’s gasp, she felt as good as he did.
“You feel amazing”, he praised again, pulling out and pushing in harder this time, and Maisie’s moans were increasing according to the force he was putting into fucking her. Each one of Dean’s thrusts made her body move further up on the bed. He was hitting her sweet spot with perfect aim and, as he pushed one of her legs further up, her clit started pressing on his pelvis. She had lost the capacity to form words, turning into a moaning mess, digging her fingers into the meaty part of Dean’s thick shoulders, trying her best to keep her eyes open to watch his beautiful face contort with pleasure every time her walls constricted around his length.
Dean slowed down his movements, wanting to last and drag his and Maisie’s pleasure further. “Is it good, baby girl?”, he asked between ragged breaths, kissing and nibbling her jaw and neck.
“S-so good. So- so f-full”, she managed to say, fingers travelling down to his plump ass, “so deep, Dean”.
“Yeah? I can feel this perfect pussy squeezing so hard around me, sweetheart. Are you about to cum?”, he continued, hand sliding to her mound, pressing down as his thumb found her clit, making Maisie’s hips jump from the bed.
“Oh, yes! Dean, I’m-“
“Come, baby, come for me”. He pinned her hips down and buried himself in her to the hilt as her muscles contracted around his cock. Maisie’s ragged breaths and moans were louder and he couldn’t hold it anymore. She was taking him so well. He came hard and deep inside of her, painting her walls white and making it leak around them both.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck”, he grunted, the pleasure spreading to his toes as Maisie pulled his head down to kiss him, not an inch of space between their sweat-slicked bodies.
They slowly came back from their highs, bodies still joined, Dean’s head resting between Maisie’s breasts while she caressed the hair on the nape of his neck. After a few minutes, he tilted his head up to look at her. “That was incredible. You’re so perfect”, he said, kissing her, hot and messy mouth exploring hers.
“Stop, Dean. You’re making me blush”, she said, smiling as her cheeks turned a pretty shade of pink.
“It’s true. And you look beautiful when you blush. But I know something that will make you look even prettier”, he stated, kissing her again and slotting himself back between her thick legs.
She made space for him and felt his cock getting hard against her left inner thigh. Maisie laughed when Dean’s mouth travelled to her neck, sucking the sweet spot behind her ear. It felt good to see the way he reacted to her so promptly, how she aroused him right after they just had the most amazing sex. It felt like they knew each other for way longer than they actually did. “Tell me, Dean”, Maisie encouraged him, wanting to hear more of that deep, sexy voice of his saying dirty things to her.
He answered by straddling her mid, cock standing hard and glistening with their juices. It was a mouth-watering sight, Maisie thought, and she wanted nothing more than to suck him off. She reached out to take him in her small hand, and Dean grunted. “You would look amazing covered in my cum”, he confessed, hips jerking with her touch.
“I think I have a better idea”, she looked up at him from under her lashes, leaning up to give a kitten-lick to the head of his cock. Dean hissed and threw his head back, every inch of his body reacting to Maisie’s caress.
She pushed him back on the bed and knelt between his spread legs, proceeding to hold his cock with one hand and sucking on the tip while watching his every reaction. He felt heavy and hot in her hand, and she took him as far as she could, moaning around him.
“Fuck, Maisie, I’m not gonna last”, Dean warned, his length pulsing on her tongue.
Giving one particular strong suck and slurping their combined juices, she let go of him. “Do you wanna come all over me, Dean?”, asked the woman, sensual eyes watching him panting. She knew the answer, he already said it, but she wanted to hear him say it again.
“Yeah, baby”, he replied, lips parted while he watched her give one more kitten lick to the head of his dick and jerk him off until he exploded, painting her breasts and stomach with his hot cum.
“Wow, Dean”, she exclaimed, collecting some of the liquid from between her breasts and licking her fingers to clean it, tasting the tanginess of his cum.
“That was so fucking hot, Mais. You’re incredible”, he pulled her in for a kissing, tasting her and himself, pushing his tongue into her mouth and making her moan.
Wrapping her body in his embrace, Dean pulled her down to lay on the bed with him, still kissing her and exploring her curves with his hands. Once they stopped to catch their breaths, Dean noticed her eyes getting heavy as he caressed her back. He watched as she fell asleep and pulled a blanket over them, letting himself be carried away with her to a dreamless, peaceful sleep.
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The Winchesters stayed with Maisie for a week. After the police was done collecting evidence from her place, the three of them went back and settled there, trying to help her back to her routine and mostly waiting to know what would happen with Eric. Sam slept in Maisie’s old bedroom while she and Dean shared the other room. That made the younger Winchester smile. He could tell right away that his brother and friend had clicked off, and he hoped they would both get the best out of whatever was going on between them.
In the meantime, Dean was so adamant at making sure Eric would stay in jail and have no chance at ever getting close to Maisie again that, when a hunt surfaced in a city nearby, he sent Sam and asked Bobby for help, deciding to stay with her just in case.
“It’s a quick and easy salt and burn, Sammy, you don’t need me. ‘Sides, Bobby is on his way. Maisie is gonna talk to her lawyer and I wanna be here, in case we need to do something to keep the jackass locked up”, he explained, patting Sam on the shoulder and giving him the Impala’s keys.
Gladly, everything went fine and Eric would wait for trial in jail. Maisie’s lawyer assured her there was no way he was not getting convicted, and Dean only agreed to leave because of that.
“Mais, I’m- Sam and I are one call away. All you have to do is give us a call and we’ll be here or have someone here with you, okay?”, Dean assured, giving Maisie one last hug while Sam was already waiting in the car.
“I know, Dean, thank you. I appreciate everything you guys did for me. Especially you”, she said, smirking devilishly and pulling him down for a kiss. “I cannot wait to see you again”, she whispered in his ear before they split.
Dean’s ears were red but he was grinning. “Me too, sweetheart. I’m gonna text you every day. You text me back, alright?”.
“I will, I promise”, she said, waving goodbye as he walked towards the car.
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As Dean drove down the road, switching the radio on, Sam watched him. Since it didn’t look like his older brother was gonna say anything, he decided to give him a push.
"So, what?", Sam asked.
"What, what?", Dean replied, raising an eyebrow, eyes fixed on the road ahead.
"You and Maisie. Was it just a one-time thing?".
"Hell, no. Not if it's up to me. She’s pretty great, Sammy", Dean smiled, mind filled with the memories of their good time together.
"I know that. That's why I'm asking. Don't break her heart, man".
"I won't, man. I promised her I'll come back. I will call and text and check on her too. I will. She knows how our life is, though. She knows I can't be there every day. But I'm gonna be there for her, for the important things at least. She will never have to deal with that dude ever again, if it's up to me. I’m gonna keep her safe", Dean looked at his brother, stern expression telling Sam he meant every word.
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5 years later – after Purgatory
Maisie’s bare feet were starting to hurt from walking up and down the living room. The perspective of seeing Dean after a year was making her too anxious. One year without hearing his voice, except for the voice messages she kept replaying every time the pain of missing him was too much to bear. One year of no texts, no pictures, of not looking into his green eyes. One year of not knowing if he was even alive.
He was back now, but she had no idea in what state, physical and mental, she would find him. That was only increasing her nervousness, but she tried to hold on to the fact that he was alive, and he was gonna be there with her at any moment now. Everything else, they would manage together.
She ran to the door the moment she heard the sound of the Impala’s engine. If it weren’t for Sam’s call giving her a little more detail, the only indication she had was a text message sent from Dean’s old phone: I’m back and on my way to see you, Mais.
Maisie wouldn’t even had believed that the message was actually from Dean, if Sam hadn’t call right after she received it, explaining that Dean was alive. Apparently, the brothers had a fight, and Dean was on his way to see her. She and Sam were not exactly in the best terms at the moment as well – Maisie was not happy with the fact that he didn’t look for Dean, and she had a suspicion that was the reason they fought.
Once she reached the front door, Dean was already halfway up the short staircase leading to the house’s porch. “De-“, she started saying, tears running down her cheeks, but he didn’t let her finish. He skipped the last two steps and pulled her into his arms, embracing her as tight as he could while kissing her almost with bruising force.
“I missed you, Mais, I missed you so fucking much”, he said between kisses. She sobbed and laughed at the same time, heart thumping in her chest. The relief of seeing him again, looking tired but somewhat whole, was everything she had hoped for in the last year.
“I missed you too, Dean. I love you”, she said, knowing it would scare the shit out of him, but not wanting to spend another day with the regret of not having him know the depth of her feelings.
Dean stepped back but kept his arms around her waist. He was clearly shocked, but soon his wide eyes gave way to the wrinkles that framed his face so beautifully every time he smiled. “I- I love you too, Maisie. I didn’t realize how much until I couldn’t be with you”.
She kissed him again, standing on her tiptoes to throw her arms around his neck. Maisie was glad to realize she didn’t forget the smell of him, or the feeling of his short hair on the tip of her fingers, or the way his big hands fit so perfectly on her hips.
Taking his hand in hers, Maisie led Dean inside the house. As if no time had passed, they sat at the table and she offered him the cookies she prepared on the day before, and he ate all of them, just like he always used to do, to her complete joy. After that, they talked for a while, sharing their perspectives about everything that happened during the past year, how she searched for him and even reached to some of the Winchesters’ hunter friends to help once she realized Sam was not doing what she expected him to.
It was a hard conversation for both of them. Dean wanted more than anything to simply forget everything, but he knew that he owed Maisie an explanation. She was utterly shocked when he mentioned Purgatory and everything he went through there, but her resolution to help him heal didn’t change, not even for a second.
The night ended with them making love. Dean got so lost in the comfort of her body, something he craved and wished for so long, that it wasn’t even surprising to him to feel a tear streaming down his face when he was finally inside her. There was nothing he wanted more than to be wrapped in her scent, her softness, to have every curve of her body fitting into his, to feel as comfortable and safe as he always felt with her.
He took her slowly at first, savoring the feeling of being joined with her after so long, of feeling her heartbeat against the hand he kept on her left breast, of watching the goosebumps forming on her skin with every one of his touches.
On the second round, Maisie was sitting on Dean’s lap, legs wrapped around his waist and arms around his neck, kissing him fiercely. One of his hands was placed on her lower back so he could help her ride him, pushing her down and filling her to the hilt with every thrust. Her look was of pure bliss, cheeks flushed with the effort, and it was the most beautiful thing Dean had ever seen.
"My God, you're stunning. Do you know that? Do you have any idea how beautiful you look when you come?", he asked, pushing a strand of hair from her face while they were catching their breaths, sweaty bodies still intertwined.
Maisie looked at him with watery eyes. She couldn’t believe fate brought the two of them together. In the years they knew each other, they both changed so much, and all they’ve been through only made Dean more handsome and perfect in her eyes.
“Thank you. Thank you for being so perfect. Thank you for being mine. I love you”, she replied, kissing Dean again, savoring the feeling of his plump lips and the slight roughness of his stubble against her palms.
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10 years later – Lebanon, Kansas
Dean watches as Lily’s eyelids got heavier and heavier as he finishes the story. When she finally falls asleep, her little hand still holding his thumb tightly, he gently pushes her hair, as dark as her mom’s, out of her face. His movements are delicate, but she opens her big green eyes that look so much like his, and stares at him briefly, before falling asleep again.
He spends a few more minutes watching her, until a movement by the door catches his attention.
Maisie is standing there, in her pajamas, watching him. She smiles when he notices her.
He removes his hand from his daughter’s carefully, stands up from the stuffed chair by her bed, and walks to the door, where his wife waits for him.
“Hey”, Maisie greets in a whisper when he approaches her, extending her hand so Dean can hold it. He does, intertwining their fingers and standing next to her.
“Hey, baby. How long have you been standing there?”, he asks, kissing the top of her head.
“Just for two or three minutes. I arrived when you were telling her about how you fell in love with me from the first time you saw me”, she revealed, looking up at him and blushing.
Dean chuckled. “You got me there. It’s no lie, though. She loves hearing that story. It’s the one she always asks me to tell her. That, and the one where mommy and daddy reunited after he got out of monster land”.
“Monster land?”, Maisie furrowed her eyebrows in a questioning look.
“Yeah, that’s what I call Purgatory to her”, he gave her a cocky smile, obviously proud of his own creativity.
“I hope you spared her of the details”, she said, chuckling at Dean, once again amazed at the fact that their daughter seemed to love horror stories, just like her father.
“‘Course. Our story ain’t no fairytale, but I think it’s pretty awesome. Plus, she has to know how great her mommy is”, he affirmed, charming as always, and Maisie pulled his hand so they both would move away from Lily’s bedroom door. She closed it and led him to their room.
Once inside, the woman turned around and threw her arms around her husband’s neck, kissing him deeply.
“I love you, Dean. I love how amazing you are with our daughter. I would go through everything we went through all over again knowing it would lead us to this. You, me, and Lily”, she declared, eyes watering.
It was his turn to kiss her now, his warm palm against the side of her neck guiding her into the kiss. Maisie was so much shorter than him that, when they stopped for air, he rested his chin on the top of her head. “She’s only 2, but I know she’s growing up to be as fierce and strong as you are. Once she’s old enough, she’s gonna know how her dad went through hell and Purgatory, and how her mom was the reason he came back every time. How you waited for me and welcomed me with open arms, when I was bruised and battered and more fucked up than before. But you put me back together, baby. I love you”, Dean said, holding his love in his arms.
THE END.
Taglist (I'm sorry super this is super outdated! If you want to be removed or included in this taglist, let me know and I'll gladly do it <3): @sexyvixen7; @candy-coated-misery0731; @dean-winchester-lover99; @thoughts-and-funnies; @avanatural; @dean-winchester-is-a-warrior; @eevvvaa; @spn-fanfic-reblog-writes; @djs8891.
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pandora15 · 2 years ago
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idk man i guess it's just that i'm struggling to find fic to read and barely having the time/energy to write at all
#it's also that i seem to be unhappy living my cozy comfortable life in suburbia#especially since my roommate who's also my friend is acting more like a roommate than a friend#but i'm also. not a great roommate#and he's a pretty good one! but he's not being a very good friend#which partly is my fault because i'm also not a great friend#but i guess i want to mix things up and move elsewhere and have an apartment to myself#and a part of me is waiting for my parents to tell me that i can do that#because i've always lived my life like that#and a lot of the mistakes i've made are because i've done that#it's also why. i've lived in the same state for like almost my entire life#so i feel like. this desperation to go somewhere with more people my age with high walkability and just. stuff to do?#like i work remote right#i don't go out much#so i feel like i need to BE somewhere that forces me to do that#my mom seems to understand that but she's telling me to wait until i'm almost done with grad school to move#which. valid i guess?#and my dad doesn't seem to understand it at all#and then they both want me to live at home in the fall because i'm planning to take two classes instead of my usual one along with work#which also makes sense but. i get ansty every time i spend more than two days at their house#tldr i'm tired and stressed and unhappy i guess about my lifestyle#and like logically i can wait until the end of the year because then i'll be a lot closer to finishing grad school#and my lease will be up then anyways#but also. that's so far away and i just want to change things now#pandora's ramblings#anyways sorry about the literal essay i wrote in the tags here
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fisheito · 4 months ago
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hello... please consider... yakumo in:
the classic traditional style qipaos
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the modernised and modified ones
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bonus: modified hanfu
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he would look wonderful wouldn't he? all the more delectable and sashimiable?
ahaha...ahah...AHAHHAH.AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
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#feesh answer#the more i scrolled the more manic laughter leaked out of my face. exolkoiddeploded really#i had no images to accurately convey my emotion. so i had to make one#BEHOLD! MY PHOTO COLLAGE SKILLS!!!!!!🤣#did you really just have yakumo-coloured outfits ready and waiting somewhere in your storage??!#your curation feels like a personal attack even tho i know you just out here doin things for You#me normally: i want the most obnoxious ridiculous over the top colour combo and clashing finalfantasia10000belts mess----#me now: ok but there's something about that 3rd modern one. it's. so simple. but. i. but i......#i need him to be cute and helpful in the traditional ones. i want him walking around in the garden just sniffing pretty flowers#wait no i want him in one of th emodified ones just absolutely DESTROYING eiden's ---#waiT no I want him IN THE FLOWING ETERNALGARMENTS WITH HIS GLOWY EYES AND SOBBING POSSESSED DEMEANOUR BUT NOT ACTUALLY POSSESSED#so just glowing and crying. got it#WAIT NO-#god it's like all the things i used to be meh about or go 'what kinda character design is this'#now i'll see it on yaku and it's.....well......#those maiden buns? the lil twin baobao or whatever? hated thsoe things forever and always#then someone will put em on yakumo and suddenly everything is fine#WHAT IS HE DOING WITH THE LIL. ORBS ON HIS HEAD. I DON'T EVEN KNOW ANYONE WHO WEARS THEM.#ONLY LITTLE GIRLIES. IS IT INAPPROPRIATE TO GIVE YAKU THE BUNS#BUT I. IF HE DOESN'T WEAR HIS HAIR LIKE THAT.#i will straihjtt up put steamed buns on his head#and force him to stay still and balance them#until i finish eating them all#it's a game of pile bread on the snake#i will require a stepladder#nu carnival yakumo
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itspileofgoodthings · 3 months ago
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my seniors have been so quiet all year and it’s been fine cause we’ve had a lot of writing/research to do but I need them to talk to me now so i was hit by a bolt of inspiration two days ago and I made them all tell me their comfort level with sharing aloud, rating themselves on a scale of 1-10. I then averaged the class score and they’re a 4.5. I then told them yesterday we needed to raise the score the tiniest bit. And the 1’s and 2’s didn’t need to be 10’s just maybe 3’s and 4’s. And they tried! They talked more 😭
#it’s sooooo hard because when a class is quiet my default is to assume you hate me#which is so hard because I need a response. which is why I actually can handle a loud raucous class pretty well because it’s just about#holding their attention and redirecting#but when they’re quiet it’s so hard. but i’ve really forced myself to be like ‘they don’t hate you they’re just quiet’#and they ARE#and actually they are reading (not all of them lol) and a lot of them want to learn#it was really helpful going to try to capitalize on this today#I had a moment a few weeks ago where I taught them a poem and it was crickets and I was like sigh they hate it and me#but then I said wanna learn another one? and like—seven of them nodded at me with big eyes and quiet enthusiasm#and I was like okayyyyy there is something going on#it feels so different teaching them than any other class it’s been a real learning experience for me#also yesterday we were talking about Jane Fairfax and Emma hating her lolololol#and Emma being frustrated with Jane’s reserve and I teased them a little bit#I said you’re not cold but you ARE reserved and I am Emma trying to get you to tell me about Frank Churchill at Weymouth#literally lol#ALSO it hit me like a ton of bricks yesterday that this is the class where I need to tell them WHY I make them tell me all the plot details#and we go over it together#and the actual concrete purpose of it. cause it isn’t just book-clubbing it!#it has to do with guiding them through a novel but also teaching them how to do it themselves#I get so prickly when people think it’s just book club behavior#if I was in a book club i would be a tyrant which is why I belong in a classroom#ANYWAY I AM WASTING THE DAY AWAY#but i have woken up with great excitement because I’ve been mulling on the seniors all year#and I feel like I’m getting somewhere#teaching tag
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seaofreverie · 6 months ago
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GUUUYYUYSSSD !!!!!
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‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
KIMONO MY HOUSE VINYL!!!!!!
Also funny story which is that when my brother took these to the cashier he said something like "oh... Sparks... they were here one year ago"
#YES THEM BEING THERE IS EXACTLY WHY I TOLD MY BROTHER TO GO THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE ('there' being tower records in japan)#but i find it so funny that the cashier actually remarked on that fact too#anyway. you need to know that i'm feeling so very AAAAHHHH right now. all of these are such a big deal to me#i didn't think i'd actually own KMH ON VINYL at any point#also utterly shocked about the guerilla toss CD. very exciting to have that one too#they're one of my fav bands and i implore everyone who likes unhinged and very experimental and cacophonic rock to check them out#this album (eraser stargazer) isn't the most accessible thing there is out there but i really love it#(i don't even know how to describe it properly. it's just really something to behold anyway)#the plushie is also a gift from my brother!! i'll gladly take any name suggestions for him#oh and also sparks debut album. first album that i own both on CD and vinyl as of today#it's not even that it's my fav sparks album or anything (i do really love it though and it's definitely somewhere in my top ten)#it's just that some albums feel more like they 'fit' with the vinyl format than CD in sound. to me at least#one other example of that besides this one being gratsax#ok i think that's all i have to say about this. one of the most epic hauls of my life that's for sure#OH WAIT one more thing. somewhat unfortunate actually#which is that my brother said he's pretty sure he saw a latte vinyl#but when he passed by that section again like 10 minutes later he already couldn't find it. oh latte.......#it's ok i'll have it one day. i'm really curious what went down there though. did someone really snag it in those 10 minutes???#and yes in case you're worried i did thank my brother profusely for getting me all this#and now i'm going to force him to listen to the TMBG vinyl with me so that he's PREPARED FOR THE CONCERT#that's in 3 months and that he's know about for a year and a half. ok i'm done now#goosepost
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lilworms · 3 months ago
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so
#last night was really so so so fun and it was super hard to get myself to go out? like#in the sense of I really wanted to because I knew it would be fun but I also knew my anxiety was eating me alive#and it would be an obstacle getting through that without alcohol and I need to be … careful#but I got fun drunk and didn’t have too bad of a hangover and didn’t feel super anxious once we got out :#and a different friend wants to make plans for tonight but I am really bad at making plans in advance because sometimes I physically can’t#do things after work bc tired bc neuro disorder and it’s frustrating to my friend with severe control issues#bc she needs to make specific plans like a week out and I’m like erm babe I can’t like#do that? and then if I don’t feel well day of and need to be home she gets (rightfully) frustrated because I’m bailing but it’s#challenging. and you don’t understand unless you live with it.#and it’s frustrating for us both. I don’t want her to think I don’t value her because I do and I force myself out often enough bc I#genuinely feel bad. but it’s so fucking hard sometimes . she also lives sort of far so going from work and having#to drive an hour to her place to then go somewhere and be out like#I’m spent before I even get there#friend I saw last night and I don’t talk consistently but when we do it’s always the same vibe and so fun and we just catch up about life#I feel like when I see my other friends they have things to always talk about because they’re in a discord call almost every night#I don’t have the energy!!!!!!!!!! like I’m so sorry that’s so much for me#idk she isn’t answering me now but if she wants to do something I need to know in the next hr bc if not I’m literally going to bed#I love her but there’s a disconnect between us rn and I don’t know how to mend that gap#but I do love her friendship so I’m just like. sigh#idk it would be different if she was closer and I know that#I hope getting back on medication helps get me being more social again. I’m just so tired this week that speaking is hard lol
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magicicephoenix · 1 year ago
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i need to go pound joey drew into a pulp RIGHT NOW
#diction dump#joey drew#batim#HIS SPEECH AT TBE END OF BATDR MAKES ME JDLABRLELWL#SCREAMINF AT TVE SCREEN#JUST SHUT!! UPP!!!#okay i’m normal now. i hate him so much#he praises audrey about being his first creation of life when the ink demon is literally RIGHT THERE.#like. do you want to be good or not?? of course bendy kills you! you’re being an asshole! you suck!!#oh my godd i need to fling him around a room ragdoll style. crush him into smithereens. rrrgrghh#he comes across so disingenuous.. like. i don’t care if audrey’s your precious shining moonlight. she’s also The One Who Came Out Right.#meanwhile The One Who Came Out Wrong is SEETHING with hatred for you! do you not see the consequences of your words?!#“i know you’re in there” like the ink demon isn’t sentient?? like audrey’s just stuck someWHERE not with someONE?#and bendy’s so so angry. of course he is! his creator (well. a copy of him) is saying TO HIS FACE that he’s just a monster. a mistake.#that he’s NOTHING. and most infuriatingly that this stupid OTHER who had the privilege of coming out right is EVERYTHING!#why does she get that? why did she get so lucky? where was all this compassion when it was him? why did he never feel this love?#and so he lashes out. obviously. all he’s ever been is a monster because all he’s ever been TAUGHT is how to be a monster#and who taught him that? who forced him into that? that’s right. the biggest monster around.#so i’m sorry if i don’t find your little speech to be heartfelt joey. you’re a long way away from saying anything truly GOOD.#phew. okay. needed to get that off my chest.
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vampmilf · 8 months ago
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can we catch a break. can we catch a fucking break.
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mashmouths · 3 months ago
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skipping class but staying on campus to do work for. another class. bc i said i'd have it done before friday bc i'm scared of telling profs no so now i have to read all of robinson crusoe this weekend and watch the nbc pilot of the crusoe series on top of finishing the 2 late essays bc i deluded myself into believing i have a chance of finishing this annotated bibliography in 2 hours. without half the books i'm citing. tee hee <3
#if anyone knows anything about anything hit me up 🫶🙌☝️#also one of my sources is essentially just synthesizing all of my other sources with So Little original commentary bc it was originally a#dissertation that got published as a book but i need to use it bc it's the only source of its type i could find and my prof has a checklist#-_-#and she said that if i explain why it's so late i can maybe get an extension of my extension but how do i tell her that i'm sick and burnt#out and got locked out of my room for 24 hours and am depressed and haven't been sleeping or eating well and i miss my friends and having a#library to work in and my antidepressants have taken away my ability to have my quarterly sobbing dry heaving breakdown that i rely to give#me the adrenaline boost and catharsis and clarity to actually lock in and force myself to finish big scary assignments#i can probably tell her about the sickness and the room thing but truly i'm just overwhelmed and not coping and that doesn't feel like a#real reason (bc i'm depressed)#i need to knock myself out at like 10:30 tonight so i can wake up at like 7 tomorrow and work somewhere that isn't my house but i have#rehearsal until 10 amd i need to shower before i actually have a freak out that no one finds endearing or relatable#i think the shower might be a big part of the brain fog . who could've seen this coming.........#i meant to shower last night but i was too busy reading 50 shades of grey and mists of avalon (both for class) and i was up until like 5#god i need to sleep. tomorrow will be better#if you see me on here past like 11:30 please yell at me to go to bed i've lost the ability to stop my self-destructive habits#that was super tmi . sowwy gang#a post
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fridayyy-13th · 6 months ago
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i am feeling So Many Things at the moment but mostly i just feel like a disaster
#friday chats#tw vent#it's like.#new school - far from family - already behind - new crush - really tired - fucking focus would you?! - new show - undone chores#on and on and on#a big ball of highs and lows that - instead of mellowing out into a net positive or negative -#- just make me feel like i'm being pulled in two opposite directions#why can't i just have the good and not the bad#i really wanted to take a gap year to decompress from All Of High School but my parents refused#kind of wish i took it regardless. just ''whoops - missed the application deadline! i'll get it in next year'' and faced their ire#but then i wouldn't have met my new friend at freshman camp#we both were individually interested in the queer orgs on campus and could have still met that way#but idk. it wouldn't have been the same#mostly i'm just worried i'm not cut out for living on my own. being an adult with a job. doing college at all.#not because people who have to rely on others/don't have a job/drop out are supposedly failures#but bc i don't have anybody i could safely fall back on AND live a life that is entirely my own if i don't make it#all i've got is my family. who will judge me for failing and force me to stay in the closet.#and frankly i don't want to live like that#so i have to keep going#but also part of me's like. ''you're ready to throw in the towel only a week in?? for fuck's sake friday come on''#it was just so much. i don't know. i just want to rest. i've been stressed for so long#i want a life where my needs are met and i feel safe and loved. that's all#but NOO i have to get a DEGREE to get a JOB so i can even begin to THINK of something like that#my family always jokes about how one day when i'm successful as an author i'll be super rich and have a private jet or whatever#and yeah that just speaks to how poorly they know me but more importantly IF i make it that big i just want to settle somewhere nice#somewhere cozy. maybe start a garden. get a cat. hold a loved one close at night. that's it really#and it sure would be nice if i could have that without having to bend over backwards getting a degree and a 9-to-5 or w/e#but i can't. so throwing myself at the wall that is my shit executive function it is.
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oglegoggle · 1 year ago
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I’m stressed by my work schedule. Thankfully I get paid on Friday and can hopefully deal with the speeding ticket issue. I know my dearest friend is also stressed by their work schedule. I feel so distant from them. I want to spend time with them and do activities with them in the evenings when they get home from work but they’re usually more interested in playing video games or staring at the internet than actively engaging with me. I had brought up to them that I feel distant from them and they said they’re trying to distance from me so it’ll hurt less when I leave in a few weeks. It… was an emotionally confusing response, like why did they ask me to stay longer if they’re just going to distance from me? I feel stuck in a place where I’m desperately trying to connect with someone I care very dearly for and like they want to connect with me but just can’t, doesn’t want me to go despite knowing that they can’t be present in my life the way I need. I kinda feel like my brain is being ripped in half again. I hope that things will be easier when their work schedule lightens up. But just the same I don’t quite know how to handle the growing stress of my own work schedule when I don’t even really want to be here where I increasingly feel ignored. The ambient sounds of the city stress me. The grinding gears of capitalism stress me. The long work hours and irregular schedule that doesn’t respect the one fucking day of the week I requested to always have off stresses me. I want so much to be out in the woods again. I stay because of them. I would stay as long as they want me to. But I just wish they would act like they actually want to spend time with me if they want me to stay.
#this is goggles#autism continues to make me feel like I’m trapped in a glass bubble#where I desperately want to connect with the world around me but can’t#I’m charming and fun and kind and intelligent and interesting and helpful#I am a well liked person but I just can’t quite feel integrated with those around me#I reflect upon the trans support group the other night when I had asked about dating tips and everyone said to use the internet#and I just don’t jive with the internet as much as I used to#it actively makes me feel more distant from others not more connected#like I want to live somewhere with shitty to no internet service again#it legitimately forced the people around me to actively engage in meaningful fun activities not just staring at rectangles all the time#I’m so tired of staring at rectangles I want to cook by the fire and do sports and play games and make art and build things and snuggle#I want to feel human and I want to be with other humans#I want to love and be loved in return#why do I repeatedly get super attached to people who are too broken and skittish to love?#I’m so tired. I want to go to Washington. I hope that I’ll find what I need there.#I mean I hoped I would in Wyoming and I did not. I hoped I would in California and I did not. I hoped I would in Oklahoma and I did not.#I really wonder if I ever really will find someplace that is gentle on me and I feel loved and integrated with the community#I desperately hope so. I’m so tired of being an outsider.
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