#so i dont want to get a new one . but god its so bad
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some business to take care of
#i was tempted to caption this as she was a skater boy and she was also another skater boy but#duck scribbles#midoyuzu#enstars#whats up guys im being embarrassing again on main#been wanting a new phone wallpaper and this was born. its the lesbian version though im not showing that#midori takamine#yuzuru fushimi#yuzumido#ensemble stars#also have additional doodles that r kind of corny and im too ashamed to add into the main post so i might add on a reblog or maybe not#midterms were so awful i had to keep reminding myself i can go ham drawing whatever i want once im done. and naturally its this#anyways ive always liked midos city rider fit it suits her so well#always wanted to find a good one to pair w it and the wink killer 2nd half xscout was toooo good i was inspired immediately#finally could use this good ref pic ive had saved since forever i need to draw backgrounds more too it was rather fun somehow#mental state has been yoyoing an insane degree lately like come on i dont need to be reminded i am a useless hunk of meat every other day#with nothing good going for them. college is amazing at reminding me of such god bless#i have bad tendencies to self isolate behind the excuse of concentrating that i am trying to fix . but its hard to get back when i do#not to mention the entire Big Event happening over in good ol amerika serikat!!! my apathy is naturally immense#but whats some peace of mind here and there idk. im gonna read yuri
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People on this website will be like "you can't handle the moral nuance of Madoka Magica! Not everything is black and white" and then claim everyone criticizing Homura's actions thinks she's a terrible person in the same sentence
#homura akemi#madoka magica#vent post#i put big ole disclaimers and sprinkle throughout that i dont think she's a bad person and i still get#“so you think homura's a terrible person and heres why your wrong” essays if i so much as say#homura undermining madoka and every magical girl's autonomy at the end of rebellion is a dick move#because heres the thing: you can love someone and have the best of intentions for them and still hurt them if you act without listening#homura love madoka and wants her to be happy but she spent dozens of timelines being the only one who could save madoka#and its gonna take her awhile to accept the new reality and that madoka has power and agency now#also saw someone earlier saying Madoka is deeply depressed and suicidal and that everything she says is a front and like???#did we watch the same series???#because thats certainly what homura believes but we're repeatedly shown homura being wrong about things#ex: she thinks madoka is alone but we know she has deputies#she thinks no one remembers madoka but sayaka remembers the whole story once she's a deputy#the series repeatedly shows us why madoka wants to live#i would agree that madoka has a hard time finding value in herself outside of being of service to others at the beginning of the series#i don't think thats true by the end#god forbid a gal is just genuinely altruistic#but tldr: i think homura loves madoka and wants her to thrive but she is not listening to madoka and undermining her autonomy
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The type of Christian who asks atheists how they don't like, murder people on the reg are so funny to me because they seem to think their religion makes them the Peak of Morality when statements like "if you don't believe in God how comes you don't do X thing" all but outright state they have no idea why shit like murder and rape is bad except that God doesn't like it lmao. Like way to admit you have no intrinsic sense of morality and need to be afraid of a higher power to be a decent person, but I promise if you're not a piece of shit it's actually very natural not to want to do heinous evil shit all the time potential punishment from a higher power or not 🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
#winters ramblings#seriously its SO funny when that happens because every time its like ??? the FUCK kind of thoughts do you have#to ask HOW i resist doing evil shit all the time because i dont fear god because i dont believe in God??#what kind of fucked up person do you haveto be to only resist killing people because of fear of a higher power??#these are people to avoid because typically they also come with the issue of using their religion to make any action they want#perfectly Good and Moral because GOD said it its in the BIBLE whether thats true or not and like bible or no#if you have no intrinsic sense of morality i dont want to hear about atheist morality from you lmao#not that athiests lack issues i swear to god white dudes who evangelize atheism like its their new religion#have WILDLY missed the point and often suffer the same problem as the aforementioned Christians#wherein the onky thing thats ever given them any kind of pushback is the church so they decide RELIGION is horrible and bad as a whole#which isnt true religion can be a perfectly lovely amazing thing for people but that brand of atheist#doesnt seem to understand that people turned away from the church because of wide spread abuse and discrimination not because#believing in god makes you literally mentally ill like some of these fuckos act like. abelist AND shite to religious folks in one fowl swoop#so you know atheists have problems too but like they arent making laws in their beliefs images across the world so you know#temper the criticism with how influential the group actually is although richard dawkins types DID get a lot of space to spew their idiocy#like dawkims if you think youre SOOOO much smarter than christians how come you have ALL the same misogyny problems??#youre not that smart and logical if youve decided a whole kind of person is inherently less than you buddy. in fact thats very Christian#of him actually. funny when that happens but again if you dont actually know WHY something is a problem#its very easy to say Thats Bad and then literally do the exact same thing you just condemned because when YOU do it its no longer bad#because its got YOUR flavor of fucked up morality on it now instead of being like hmm maybe Christianity isnt a problem#because it EXISTS but because a lot of people use their religion as a pointed barb to discriminate against huge swaths of people#and often the intolerance becomes a legal issue when Christians and other religious majorities shove through laws based on EXCLUSIVELY their#religions and opinions and that doesnt mean religion should be dismantled it means we ahould tell religious folk who would know what#morality was if it fucked them up the ass to shut up and figure out what morality is outside of rekigion before they start legislating about#it and whatnot. also i wish extreme opinions werent ALL the news focused on exclusively on the political right#can we platform some NORMAL well adjusted christians who are god loving AND not a bunch of wingnuts#who are two steps away from arguing thou shall not kill only applies to people they LIKE because they dont seem to understand#maybe murder is bad when EVERYONE does it not just The Bad People??!?!
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oh freckle, freckle⠁.. what makes you so s p e c i a l?
#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH#IM SORRY THIS SONG DOES SO MANY BAD THINGS TO ME#other than the metal style cover / weezers sweet dreams r made of these / poppunk dancing queen this is THERMBADBIHTHEMESONG#THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS IS THEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE SONG BITCH#like OH FRECKLE FRECKLE WHAT MAKES U SO SPECIAL#HEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOO#MY HEARTS IN HEAVEN MY SOLES ARE HEEEEEELLLLL LETS ME IN THE PURAGATORY OF MY HIPPPPPPPPPPPPPS#AND GET WELL ;)))))))#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HYYYYYYYHHHH BITCH#I KNOW THIS WAS A SPICY GREENHOUSE MAKEOUT SONG I AM SCREAMING VERY LOUD IN MY HEAD RN#*jerseykyle vc* i'm gonna ( leave you ) I'm Gonna TEACH you#HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLL NOOOOOO#IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII KNOOOOOOOOOOOO IT WAS GOING *NEW PERSPECTIVE VC* DOOOOOOOOWN DOWN DOooOOWWN#ALSO WAITER ARTIST MODEL SINGER IS LITERALLY CDS WHOLE EXPERIENCE TRYING TO MAKE IT IN THE BUSINESS#SPECIFICALLY RAVENSTAN GOING FROM WAITERING AT CHEFS RESTURANT TO COCKTAIL WAITERING AT RUFFIANS#MAKING MUSIC ON THE SIDE AND BASICALLY BEING A SOLD OUT TO THAT WHOLE CLUB AND BEING PUNK ROCK#~SUPERMODELITBOY~ AND ET TENS WHOLE BRAND AND HIS LIL PLAYTHING AND BEING A SINGER BUT...GOD...WAS IT WORTH IT????? WAS. IT. WORTH. IT.#DONT TALK TO ME HIS ENTIRE CHARACTER ARC MAKES ME MISERABLE HE JUST WANTED TO SING#AND LOOK WHAT HAPPENED! YOURE RAVEN YOURE NO ONES DAUGHTER MIDNIGHT SUN BUT YOUR WINGS ARE STILL CLIPPED; YOU CANT FLY#YOU SING BUT IT FALLS ON DEAF EARS! COVER BOY ON THE PAGE! A PACIFIST AND ALL THE RAGE!! ALL THE WORLDS A STAGE#BUT GOLD OR NOT; AT THE END OF THE DAY ITS JUST A CAGE PRETTY BIRD - AND YOU BUILT IT YOURSELF BABY!!! YOU! BUILT! IT! YOURSELF! BARS BItcH#thats my son My Son mY SOOOOOOOOOOOOOON it also has such a sexcC nitelub jerseykyle back beat hEEEEELLLO#i could talk about this for such a long time i LOVE this song#*jk having going crazy but divine intervention on his bathroom floor after a bad stan episode and ed episode head on toliet vc*#MAMA? IF WE DONT TAKE THE MEDICATION...WE WONT SLEEP FOR DAYS? MAMA...IF WE PRAY TO THE LORD#DOES HE SING ON STAGE?????? oOOOOOOOOOOUGH IM SICK AND I KNOW HES SEEING STARS AND SMILES AND PRETTY EYES AND UGLY LAUGHES#AND A BOY HE HASNT SEEN IN YEARS BUT HE SEES EVERYDAY OUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH IM SICK#I WANT TO BE GOLDEN IN YOUR MEMORY!!!!!!!! SIIIIIIIICK!!! SICK AND FUCKING TWISTED!!!!! SHUT UP AAAAAaAAAAaA#IM IN HELL jk swirling his drink trying to look uninterested *after party fb vc* watching rstan work the room like#oh freckle freckle what makes You so special? and then raven waves and winks at him and trips bc hes an idiot and jk is like AAAAAA SIIIIIC
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tdov was like a week ago already but I just wanna say when I came over to vacation slash help my sworn brother move flat he told me, "ever since you said you wanted to get top surgery I've been thinking about it. it's straight up number two on my bucket list"
#bakuspeech#number one is a house bc obviously. if u can own a house wouldnt u#he was very drunk at that time of the evening. I was not bc I have the constitution of a hot air balloon and any stimulant will blow me up#(relatively new development. france fucked me up big time turns out)#we held hand on his bed for like the whole evening. it was honestly very funny in hindsight but we were extremely earnest in the moment#and Im like. working on this thing as well. I dont got meds or therapy lmao Im bootstrappin here#but yeah early last year his bf offered to get me meds and I... turned it down... I think I was worried abt like. idk. something#but one year past looking back Im fully like that was a stupid move you shouldve gotten meds. youve once again fucked urself baku#but yeah with that kinda realization Ive also come to realized I've somewhat? accepted. that I'm just gonna be. like this#this in light of a number of likely chronic stuff too (hence my balloon-like constitution lmao) and#that's kinda bled into the rest of me without me really noticing#but him bringing that up fully unprompted... kinda jolted me out of it#its just. really incredibly sweet. that someone doesn't want me to settle for what I make do with#and like. preps for that work. just kinda held my hand and told me it's possible to do this actually#I didn't really express how I felt very well in that moment I think my brain is very bad and I process emotions with like a day of delay#but. well. Im thinking abt it Right Now. so yknow thats the kind of impact that had on me lol#not super sure why I wrote all this down here really. I think I just want a good n nice reminder that object permanence is real#and I exist in my friends' life even when Im going insane in a hole by myself#and with the power of friendship we can alter the universe's plan for ourselves and also kill god#that's that. anyways I eat lunch now and then pass out probably. last night was... eventful lmao#but!! very good things on the horizon hopefully. well manifestly we hold hammers and we use them#have a good day lads. let's go out and slay monsters under a highway
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every time i blink theyre doing another terrible adaptation of a gothic novel will i ever be free
#why on earth would you cast another white actor as heathcliff#his experiences as a racialised man are integral to his characterisation like its not even subtext its text!!!!#the fact he's been almost exclusively depicted by white actors has enabled ppl to overlook this part of his character#and i just dont think another adaptation featuring a white heathcliff should exist#feeling mad as hell tbh#and lets not even get started on that god awful dorian gray adaption!!#everything about it is so bad i dont even have the energy to hash it out again#not to be a party pooper but im also dreading guillermo del toro's frankenstein i know im gonna hate it#why am i being punished for being invested in gothic literature and wanting better for books that mean a lot to me#we're in an adaptation hellscape atm so its not even just gothic lit#like that new rose of versailles adaptation pisses me off so bad too#it seems to exist for no other reason than because its a safe profitable option for the studio#and theyre trying to modernise the art style to make it more appealing to new viewers#which feels like a fundamental misunderstanding of ROV's appeal#Sometimes trying to make a work more palatable so it can be consumed by the most ppl possible is simply to degrade it#you're ironing out what makes it special to turn it into something more commercial a hollow shell of the original#i know everybody whose invested in art has been burned by this adaptation hellscape at least once I hope we'll be free of it one day#text post#wuthering heights
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getting sloppy drunk for the first time on accident: woo! i am going to luxuriate in the todays decadent win of the montreal canadiens, mes habs, over the florida panthers and the fact that our baby rookie baby goalie shut out said defending stanley cup champs! and also think salacious things about sam monty montembeault. olé
#only time ive ever been happy seeing snowbirds consume something back home!#it was only in becoming a habs fan that i realized all those french ppl i encountered at work back home were probably canadian#i always wanted to try n use my meagre french to say hi but i didnt have the right words todo my job..... need more mots de poisson. yea#anyway has anyone considered the beauty of potentially having an older very passive strong rock goalie paired with a very young slip on his#own shoes kinda aggro baby goalie#right before the arber fight dach was like fuckin w the guy n he shoved or near shoved dobes and dobes glove dhim alittle and i remember#being like omggggggggg#monty would NOT do that but youre so valid for this little big man#so fun to see him playin outta the crease i like the different styles i am becoming a conoisseur bro#i like. hockey#i wishhh they showed monty on the bench more. so glad he got rested. if u talk about him like hes a bandaid until fowler comes and hes fully#replaced by dobes do NOT talk 2 me. i like dobes quite a lot but u do NOT need to be shoving my boyyy out the door. respect your goalie#anyway in spirit of old homes. i hope he trounces the bolts lollllllll get it boy#did u know tumblr only allows 30 tags? discovered this last reblog. rude :(#i like that habs get 2 broadcasts because we get sneaky clips. sometimes gone on one but present on other#thank god bec otherwise we woulda missed half the dobes celebration.... sooo happy for that crumb of a guy#we love goalie success.#i wonder if the 30 tag limit is only for reblogs? feels like i msybe passed that but idk. not trying to but#anyway i wore the lovely habs scarf my beautiful talented girlfriend made me all around town. sports!#WILL i be hungover for the bolts game? i dont know. i have never been this drunk before#i had. 1.5 drinks. im a huge fuckin lightweight but TO BE FAIR the furst was really heavy on high strength baibooze#christ#at least i didnt wander into trafgfic how the fuck#dude i hope the habs kick asss tmrw. theyve been buildjng up so well. its ok if they dont i will forgivevthem but they should fight hard....#do it for sain loui#saint louis#do u think they know what benihets are#beignets. from new orleansx#not donuts#i think the habs deserve a crawfush boil. too bad its out of season :(((
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"why are people mad about AI being pushed on them when they SHOULD be mad about all the privacy erosion??"
1) plenty of us bitches are mad and annoyed about both, actually.
2) the privacy erosion has become the normalized state of existence for the average person for the last 10 fucking years at least, its snuck in, they disguise it as Convenient Features to Help You Shop Better, and thats IF they bother telling you theyre doing it, instead of just opting all your shit in without asking, its so fucking normalized that yeah, a lot of people do not bother to question it, they just sigh in resignation and go, yeah, i guess, do i even have other options? and they do, but theyre an investment of learning and time you dont have capacity for at the moment, or maybe you do but you feel like you dont bc it feels like a bigger hurdle than it is, and computer stuff is already kind of intimidating, cos man, what if you hit the wrong thing and brick your expensive ass machine? easier to just let it data harvest, you guess, it cant be THAT bad, can it? plenty of people live like this, put up with this, seek this out, its easier not to resist the privacy erosion. fucking whatever, i guess. yeah, i guess twitter i mean X, or walmart, or facebook, can just have all of my contact info and my phone number and my birthday and phone contacts and bank information and fuck it, give them my ssn while im at it. less effort later. this is just how tech has been for the last 10 yrs. no one can effectively get rage clicks on this topic anymore bc we all fucking know. it sucks and we know. what do you want me to fucking do about it? i have other shit to deal with more urgently. etc
3)
you cant turn anything on or log onto anything or go anywhere without hearing about whatever new shit theyre throwing AI at for no real reason, no one will fucking Shut Up about AI, and its Annoying, man
#toy txt post#toy pic post#image id in alt text#im so fucking Tired of hearing about it and in applications that make no sense cos they made the thing and are now trying to justify its#existence and cost instead of like. creating it to actually meet a need.#im annoyed at both of these things everytime i turn on the god damn computer#i keep getting texts about upgrading my phone to get one of the new AI models. man. i dont want that#i dont want it bc theyre as invasive as ever and the ai shit is stupid and i dont want it#AND YES. THERE ARE GOOD AND USEFUL AND DECENT APPLICATIONS AND USES FOR AI. I KNOW. ITS NOT ALL BAD#BUT MOST OF THE FUCKING CHATTER ABOUT IT IS ANNOYING AND THE INTERNET IS AS FILLED AS EVER WITH MEANINGLESS BULLSHIT#WHETHER IT BE AI GENERATED OR JUST TALKING ABOUT THEIR NEW BULLSHIT GENERATOR 3000. PLEASE DOWNLOAD#TO JUSTIFY THE VENTURE CAPITAL#man ppl are tired of it all. we want to opt out of it all#and some dont even want to bother.#and then theres ppl like my mom who no. i cant convince her the privacy erosion is a problem bc on an individual level she doesnt care#but i could convince her hopefully to be wary of 'answers' from ai and that they generate slop and if anyone asks you for money for ai shit#lmao Dont. okay#and at this point ill take that as a wij#win#and honestly the privacy erosion at this point. needs. legislative shit. legislative shit that isnt just 'oh the companies were data#harvesting teens? well if the companies stop giving that info to advertisers and instead give it to Their Parents. and also give them full#control of their accounts and everything the kids see. well that fixes it. no. god#its a big stupid messy problem that is gonna suck to fix and so far anyone who talks about fixing it on a mass scale is a fucking hack#who is fear mongering to exert more control over kids man it all sucks so bad. and it sucks more cos it doesnt Have To#it Could be good! computers could be good again. the answer is not necessarily everyone download linux bc thats not going to happen#maybe more ppl should and that would be good for us. yes. like idk teach it in school or some shit. but that cant be the only thing you do#windows and Microsoft and apple should not be retroactively fucking up the products they have monopolized into everyones homes & businesses#they should not be ABLE to do this. idkeverything sucks and is stupid and that sucks and is stupid and you all are complaining about dumb#rubes getting mad at the wrong thing and falling for ai fear mongering instead of being like. why are the bitches who are turning every god#damn computer into inherent spyware also shotgunning money into ai amd articles hyping up about ai
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hrmmmm
#god. i want to make kismet a solo blog but a) im really bad with juggling multiple blogs of activity#and b) i have no idea how to start branching out into finding rp partners bc hes a fandomless oc#like... when u make fandom ocs u have a STARTING block but like.......... when its fandomless ocs its like#ur screaming clawing fighting for ur fucking life#and i want to find new rp partners / expand beyond this rpc bc its low activity atm#so like... idk#also all the details behind kismet's story are very particular and need explaining so maybe not#but i Do still want to make him a solo blog#RAAAAAA idk#i dont want it to be one of those blogs where i get rlly excited. make him. post a couple of things and then it goes dead bc gaining tracti#traction* is hard
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also its so dumb that one of the arguments ppl have against a sims 5 is that theyve already invested too much money into 4. like yes its fucking scummy that ea charges so much for dlc and its Ludicrous the amt sims 4 costs if you have all the dlc and its going to keep getting more and more expensive but . to be honest . why are you paying for sims packs. im sry
#ik not everyone can pirate i get it and its your money do what you want#but itis your choice to invest so much into like. a sinking ship DJRNFJFNG. idk....#i want 2 be optimistic and believe that somehow they WILL be able to fix every single issue with ts4#but i honestly believe thats require them to take an extended break from releasing new packs and shit#and i genuinely honestly dont think theyll do that. lol.#but like. i think itd be a good idea like. Cut down on new releases and focus on fixing the base game and then pack refreshes#bc itd be rly cool to have like. pack refreshes to make them more fleshed out#but also like. sigh. it rly does come down to the packs bc i judt genuinely find it kind of disgusting how little is in each pack#and how many of the packs could be consolidated#genuinely earnestly feel like growing together and parenthood shouldve been one pack. like. and honestly throw hsy in there...#hsy could do with a refresh Badd ik its fairly new but oh my god the school is so fucking buggy#and in general like. IDK. id rly love the packs to be refreshed and id love love love More fucking lots in the worlds oh my god. multiple#worlds have literally 4 lots. Thats fucking actually insane it makes me crazy#i get like. ooh bc you can travel between worlds the worlds can be smaller but i hate it 😭😭😭#i think its just bc i grew up playing 3 perhaps but like. i rly loved like. idk when i choose to play in a sims world i want to play in tha#world. i dont want to have to like. i live in moonwood mills (5 lots .) and thej i have to go to like. san myshunonif i want to go to a bar#or whatever. is there a bar in san myshuno idr#IDKIDK. i feel like Innnn my opinion there should be like. at least 1 of the basegame lot types for every world maybe with some exceptions#and there should be enough empty slots ppl can fill it out more if they want...#but also like. idk. i suppose it wouldnt affect me much bc i usually stay on my home lot as much as possible#bc of the loading screens#it wouldnt be so bad if like. idk. i understand why they didnt wanna do open world like ts3#well i dont its fucking actually stupid. but i get that ts4 wasnt supposed to be what it is and it wasnt built to be a longrunning game.#hence why ts5 should happen instead as a Strong Foundation BUT WHATEVER but like. yk. and ik im not the only person in the world and other#ppl want different but i feel like maybe you could have options .. idk. im not a programmer#but itd be cool to have some sort of way to toggle between like. open world semi open world and closed world#where itd be like. ts3 style where the exteriors of everything r there but the interiors r loaded in when u visit (if that is how ts3 works#i may be a bit off) nd closed would be ts4 style Loading screen to go . next door#am i misremembering or are there even loading screens between like. the new apartments with forrent.... there were for the city living ones#skull Fuckk i ran out of space
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I frequently feel completely isolated no matter how much I talk to people. So that's fun
#sorry if anyone sees these im tired of using my personal discord servet to vent. i always spiral too much#anyways i have an idea for a good poem to write for class because of recent events#ughhhh idk i just wish i wasnt so annoying about asking if i can open ip to people#or if someone would just ask if i was okay. i mean actually id probably lie i am not actually good at being open.#but like hey idk it feels nice to feel like people genuinely want to know#ughhhhfhfhf i do this to myself sometimes JSHSJSKDJDJD#welp its just how life goes. i feel lonely all the time and i soldier on#surely helping the next person will make me feel better! nope. surely helping yhis next person will make me feel better! nope. surely-#tgats me. thats what i sound like#yeah idk it feels like everyone is going through something worse than me so itd be a moral failing on my part#to ask them if i could just like. feel bad. noticeably#not even talk about it just look down and out of it for a day#yknow i emailed one of my teachers asking permission to go by a new preferred name#this is at like. a massive very queer and trans art school.#and i asked him permission to do this#and i was joking with my friends about how pathetic i sounded in it#and one of them patted me on the head and said “there there buddy” like very jokingly#but i almost cried because thats the first time in so long someone has like. really tried to comfort me#or shown me much physical affection#my mom gives me hugs and stuff but thats always about her. i dont blame her shes got a lot of stuff going on#but idk its really selfish of me but i just wanna have people see me and feel bad for me and it be about my pain for a little while#ill get over it im just being a teenager but shit god fucking damnit#i just want a break from feeling like my world is falling apart#then getting some footing#then it falling apart again#okay i feel a bit better now better stop the complain train JDJDJSKSJD#hey why do i never hear that it rhymes and everything thays so good#damn i gotta use that more#welp weve reached our stop sorry if anyone ever read thjs. hope you have a nice day tho lol
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hello tumblr moots,,i like you
my discord is @ chenyuvale
friend rq me or jus msg me out of the blue about. uh. anything (maybe baizhluc, maybe reverse 1999 maybe a secret third thing)
#i dunno how to make a post that will appeal to the masses so ive put it bluntly ekfjdjf#you could literally just send me a Random Word#fair warning tho! im a voice message addict so when you get me to ramble about something i will send 20 min voice messages#i suggest asking me about baizhluc if you wamt a Lot of vms#bc god i dont stop talking abt them#or any diluc ship really#its bad#nya.txt#my own friend group is Sorta Crumbling and sort of not#but they're my only group so i.. want more friends and ive forgotten how to make new ones#so tumblr it is
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nervous laughter
#text#was hanging out with a friend (had fun) but as his uber was arriving#i see my ex roommate (<- putting it lightly) walking back to the dorms with someone#and like. im nosy ofc but i also like. want to warn them#cuz i dunno if this is like. a friend or a new roommate or what but they’ve been alone EVERY TIME ive seen them#so this is new. and considering their track record.#i dont think i am super calm knowing they’re bringing someone back to that room.#im not sure if i hope its a roommate cuz maybe then its innocent#or if i hope its not bc i dont want anyone else to have to live with them#but like. god.#and they totally saw me n my friend looking at them LMAOO but like what r u gonna do. u cant do shit#im allowed to look in directions#but. yeah no. that makes me very nervous#and i didnt get a good look at who it was but they were like#5’6 ish short blonde hair looked kind of like they had a gender situation going on#(i love saying gender situation its my new favourite phrase)#but uhh. yeah. i need to find them i just need to like. know theyre gonna be okay#i want to warn them but that might be bad idea#so i dont know. i dont want them to not know but i dont want them to know at the same time. yk?#well. itsnfine. im hiding in [building] now and im around people and im safe and no one can hurt me#neg#🗒️
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am i aware getting new things is okay and fine? yes. do i want to do it? no and im going to have several meltdowns about it instead.
#camera talks#not right now but i Feel crazy about it again and its not good.#i have to get a new comforter bc my current one is uhh quite literally falling apart and its not very good#(like its so so badly falling apart. the inside fluff is entirely exposed and its got a lot of holes </3#bad enough its rough to send through the washer and dryer :/)#but if i get a new one and its the wrong texture i will Freak so ive been putting off buying a new one#but i Also dont like using this one.. and i need to get a new backpack but this one has lasted me forever and like.#a new one will have to last me in college too tbh so i dont Want to get a new one#and i do this all the time. with like socks (i will only use 1 brand but it falls apart easily :/ and i refuse to try anything else#so i end up just buying a ton of socks instead of getting new and better ones for a long time)#and im over over thinking things and i need to read my book#someone kill me#god i need to stop posting. just anything in general i feel like i share too much#i need a therapist </33#also im going to go listen to the american bison and read my book probably#we'll see
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mmmgh
#salty talks#this one is personal but not in a scary just in a i need to say this shit somewhere way#botw/totk… i do not fucking like th. like gameplay is fun puzzles are cool world is cool but like.#the lackluster story and characters honest to god drag it the fuck down for me#none of the characters are actuslly interesting and ganondorf is the only one i want to see in totk#like i got the master sword. i got it and its like whatever. i know whats up with the light dragon and i dont care#totk is making me start to dislike this version of zelda and idk how to feel abt that#no one feels like. interesting. everyone is either good or evil or a fucking side character with a paper thin life#and totk with its fucking no-nuance go kill ganondorf plot is just. stop making half of the plot take place in the fucking past#i havent really done much story stuff but like. GOD. no one in totk is meant to be morally gray its all so fucking black and white#what happened to having major characters who were morally dubious and were actually fascinating to watch#i dont like that most of the major characters in totk/botw are Good Guys and Nice To Link nobody actually interests me#i was SO excited that the lurelin pirates would be a new group of characters to contend with but no. monsters. fuck#they had a chance to maybe get into the kingdoms more dubious past concerning the sheikah and then made the sheikah barely important#and then made the yiga more of a joke instead of like. doing anything with their interesting past#no fuck you heres some all new shit that has nothing to do with what came before and the same shallow conflict and characters#theyve dipped their toes into morally dubious characters and genuinely fascinating characters and the idea that the kingdom of hyrule isnt#all that and gave more room for drawing your own conclusions and totk just hands over the most black and white experience#im playing to finish the story and finish the game i actively do not care or expect much from these characters#and it just seems like the narrative is going to bend over backwards to put hyrule as the ultimate moral good and any opposition as bad#and all but force you to accept that because it just proves that sentiment correct over and over again and its fucking bland#idk. aomething about the writing of this game fucking frustrates me esp when i think abt how past games were written#imperialist shit aside this game’s story and characters are so fucking. par for the course bland. i dont care beyond ‘oh thata charming’#i dont think about this game’s story. it doesnt make me think it just shoves events and character actions at me and moves on#fuck.#it feels like its just. telling me shit. not giving me much room to really decide for myself. zelda is good ganondorf is bad fuck nuance ig#it seems so fucking scared of being a little bit complex. this is why i say 'i miss linebeck' i miss complicated ideas and characters#just. totk seems like it REALLY wants you to have specific thoughts about these events and characters. doing everything it can to prove#the good guys right and the bad guys wrong and having pretty much no one be in between or like. anything. its all standard
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my beautiful personal experience with anne rice that im always like haha ok new book ^-^ the last one kind of sucked a decent amount for most of the book but the ending was cool. cant wait to start the next one, sure hope its not anything bad!! and then shes like sneaking behind me with a comically large sledgehammer on my head that is labelled "the beginning will suck heavily". and it keeps happening to me.
#twist rambles#vc posting#1. my fucking epub reader on desktop sucks compared to my one ive been using so im having to do a really bad set up but i survive.#2. the fucking horrors christ alive. i cannot express enough how like actually horrible b&g is starting. she wants me DEAD. she hates me#wanting to reach atlantis instead of dnfing every single book in this goddamn series. in other news i need to actually watch the full#les.tat the musical performance... ive had the soundtrack on loop but am so bad at paying attention to smth for 2.5 hours...but i gotta#watch it bc itll make me remember how good tvl was. and how bad these books are rn. lol. anyways we persist and we survive and we kill#marius with many hammers to survive ok. even if you dont know who he is. kill him with me ok. anyways god sorry im sooo :/ abt the#formatting changes on pc like my laptop screen is too big after weeks of not using it?? its weird lmao. but yeah we persist and survive and#if anyone can get thru the like 720 pages i have coming up it is ME. ok <3
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