#so here are some tears instead | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

itsnotmyfaultsomepeoplecantread · 4 months ago

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Me, actively sobbing over nothing: "listen, I know I sound upset, but I'm not even sure why I'm crying, so it's fine!"

Having ur main emotional response be crying is so embarrassing like ill be trying to explain why im mad or ill try having a serious convo abt smthn that upsets me and ill start crying like a baby and i have to like turn around and go “i am not crying 4 pity or to emotionally manipulate u im crying cuz im a little bitch, give me a sec”

#sometimes its just the only response i have #its probably the years of trauma #and therapy #and associated other shit #but frankly #im tired of anger #so here are some tears instead

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hinamie · 3 months ago

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9 / 266

#my art #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #yuji itadori #itadori yuuji #jjk spoilers #jjk manga spoilers #jjk 266 #fanart #jjk fanart #itafushi #jujutsu kaisen fanart #used th itfs tag bc its implied and this is an itfs piece i said so #i dont think ive seen this parallel made yet??? but its ok if it has #i just had the idea hit at gross o clock last night when i ws alr exhausted n had 2 force myself to sleep instead of drawing it #i just . clutches chest . YUUJI #th char development the emotional maturity..#the willingness to put aside his gojo voice personal feelings in favour of giving megumi agency over his own life #rather than burden him with expectations the way every1 has done fr both of them over the course of the series...#tears in my eyes thats my mc!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#anyway art notes i think lower one is some of the best yuuji hair ive drawn 2 date #it's kind of similar to one of my 265 redraws but i think i struck a better balance in how thoroughly i rendered it here #proud of my me but also SO grateful tht yuuji has not been fighting me lately #so much yuuji content these past chapters i cant imagine th frustration having to Also fight him in order 2 create content fr them #anyway itafushi kaisen is real and canon and alive and yuuji singlehandedly discovered th cure 2 my mental illness w this line

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egophiliac · 4 days ago

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I have a question about the jp server pickups, since I really want knight Sebek, but I’m trying to save gems for bloom malleus + the 3rd tsum event that’s gonna show up sooner or later. Iirc, after knight Sebek, the next story update’s pickup had all of the previous story cards (ie cerberus Ortho, general Lilia, and knight Sebek). Is this true, and if it is, did it include a token system like the dorm pickups where you can just do 100 pulls and then buy the specific card you want directly? Because if that is how it works, then I can wait until then and be sure I won’t have to go to 200 for him.

we did indeed get a second chance at those three when 7-7 came out! I'm pretty sure there was not a token system -- though admittedly I don't 100% remember, sorry! 🙇 I took a quick search through some past posts/videos from people who tend to include the gacha and news stuff, but I didn't see any mention of it, so I'm inclined to think there really wasn't one. :( they were all separate pickups with their own pull counts rather than a combined one, if that info helps at all.

speaking as a strict f2p who hoards keys/gems like the lovechild of a dragon and a magpie, given the choice between saving for a story card and a birthday card, I'd go for story -- it does require a lot of patience, but there are way more opportunities to get past birthday cards, both from the anniversary events and the rerun pickups! tsums is a bit harder to say anything on because Eng doesn't follow the same event schedule, but it's a longish event and those pickups let you have a free 10-roll, so I think they're also a bit easier to save up for.

(ALSO speaking of free rolls, starting with the fifth round of birthdays -- the kutsurogi my room ones -- the birthday boy/union jacket/bloom cards have had a separate pickup that you can get two free 10-pulls at by doing missions! I got a bloom Jade from it a couple weeks ago. :D meanwhile general Lilia is the only story card I've ever managed to pull, so...I'm probably kinda biased. whoops.)

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 part 6 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 part 6 spoilers #joseimuke games are serious business #just speculating for a moment here #i could be completely wrong about all of this it's just me spitballin'#i suspect we WILL get a rerun pickup for the 7-7 and up story cards at some point #but probably not a third round of the diasomnia story boys :(#we never got a proper dorm rerun for them so i think we'll get that instead #but also that makes me wonder if we're going to maybe not get a story silver card after all...#because like #i realized earlier that since we've been getting main story drops pretty consistently every two months #(we had july + august in a row but september + october were for halloween so it averages out)#if we continue this way that means heartslabyul in january and return to diasomnia in march #which would be timed PERFECTLY for the fifth anniversary #it absolutely could just be a coincidence but. idk. i could see it being a fun place to end 7 on.#(i still think we're getting an episode 8 with grim. just. y'know. the TIMING)#but if that turns out to be true then there might not be time for a silver story card AND dorm reruns...#i mean i'm 100% talking out my butt here so i could be entirely wrong about all of it #(stay tuned for six months straight of training camp events and master chef reruns instead)#i just really want a silver story card okay #we've gotten so much silver angst and yet i demand MORE #unsuspecting anon: hey ego do you remember if there were tokens for the --#me: UUUURGH DELICIOUS SILVER TEARS #(sorry anon) (good luck with whoever you choose to pull for though! your taste in cards is excellent and i understand the dilemma 😭)

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drawnfamiliarfaces · 10 months ago

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;3

#ninja showdown #my immortal soul #first ninja x chase young #rc9gn first ninja #first ninja #chase young #rc9gn #xiaolin showdown #randy cunningham 9th grade ninja #me @ me; how many art tropes we gotta draw for those two? also me: yes ;)#listen. LISTEN. the world is kinda shit right now and im sad and so im drawing a lot of these two rn to comfort me #but instead of drawing all those great angsty soul-tearing ideas i had. do you know what my brain decided?? DO YOU???#it saw a picture of Chase with wet hair and went: you know what would be very cool idea??? ;))) and i promptly sketched almost 20 pgs #comic where absolutely nothing actually happens but 14 of the pages contain half-naked wet men!!!!!! AND YOU KNOW WHAT #somehow its not even the worst thing i drew because right after that???#my brain was like heehoo what about some love spell/pollen trope?? ;3 & i kid you not i doodled some of it and now im just sitting here #with my head in my hands wondering wtf am i doing as i stare at a doodle of love spelled first #so ye guess what im gonna be working on this month lol

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inpursuitofnunchi · 2 months ago

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there are very few dramas that burrow their way so deep into my heart that they become a part of my soul, my conscience - don't get me wrong, i like/love A LOT of dramas (im a serial liker/lover you can say) - but with some dramas, it's like I have a perpetual hangover. Kinda like "the one - kdrama version" (assume the one to be a group with a small number of elements) (sorry my stem ass is showing) (also sorry for the endless brackets, my adhd is also showing)

Anyway, the point is i am pretty sure that Love Next Door is on the verge of joining this set already inhabited by Hometown Cha-Cha-Cha, Misaeng and My Mister.

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necrotic-nephilim · 2 months ago

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: DCU (Comics) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Tim Drake/Jason Todd Characters: Jason Todd, Tim Drake (DCU) Additional Tags: Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Rough Sex, Dirty Talk, Top Jason Todd, Bottom Tim Drake (DCU), Spanking, mild blood kink, Hair-pulling, Mild S&M, Dom/sub, Face-Fucking, Ass to Mouth, Degradation, Spit As Lube, Possessive Sex, Pre-Flashpoint (DCU) Series: Part 17 of necrotic nephilim's writings Summary:

If Jason pushes Tim's buttons in the right ways, he always gets what he wants out of it. Tim bent over underneath him, giving up all of his control to Jason.

Tim belonged to Jason and no one else.

my fic for cavypretzel for the @jaytimexchange is live! make sure to show all the fics and art in this exchange some love, it was a lot of fun to participate in! <3 and of course ty to @eebuckley for being my beta, they probably lost more braincells to this fic than i did <3

#necrotic writings #jaytim #jaytimexchange2024 #batcest #tim drake x jason todd #nsft #fandom event #i'm serious the braincells we lost on this fic #i could make a post just showing all the unhinged comments on the google doc #we ended up laughing so hard over me accidentaly saying 'birthing' instead of 'biting' that we had to give up on editing the fic for a whil #the tears involved making this fic were tears of laughter bc we could not stay serious #rip to the braincells this fic ate. they will be missed #i'm gonna answer some asks now!#my recipient doesn't have a tumblr so i can't say i hope they enjoy here #but i hope everyone else enjoys! <3

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cathymee · 2 months ago

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maybe it's to maintain a sense of tension & turmoil that would eventually reach an explosive peak, a sense of tug-of-war, a back-and-forth to hammer home the ideals they want to deliver and for the viewers to chew on, but although these arguments regarding hiroshi & his stance as a man torn between his loyalty for his country & the loyalty for his Filipino friends and lover is of course important, how they write these scenes & the points they present from this week alone is getting too repetitive...? literally the argument scenes from last night & tonight between adelina & hiroshi is basically the same; the ideas were the same, the dynamics were the same: the aggressive, radical adelina, bristling rage and fear over the injustices she's seen thus far, and the cautious, inspiriting hiroshi, all hopefulness and reassurance one moment as a lover, defensiveness and sternness as a japanese soldier in another. this debate will be ever-present ofc, it is one of the series' biggest conflicts, but it is unfortunately so easy to tell when it is a.) being pulled up as a main topic to move the plot along / be a necessary conflict for character development/introspection / be the conflict to deliver the morals & messages the writers want to send to their viewers, or b.) when it is being pulled up only for the drama and filler to pass the time. like watching the characters sit down to argue for 10 minutes, do other things for the plot for 2 minutes, then sit down again to argue for the next 20 minutes. lol.

#lots of things i wish they would soon improve but this 1 bothered me tonight..stopped watching halfway thru #these scenes would be like excellent breaks for when we need to take a breather to digest what's been going on #but at the slow pace they've set it it's just...nothing's been going on since like...4 days ago #except for eduardo's plot #it's just arguments..everywhere....all the time....over the same repetitive things #no progress nothing new to chew on despite there being drastic changes to their situation...? same vibes from the time they weren't occupie #yet lol. same dynamics mostly #only new points of debate is regarding hiroshi & his country vs friends conflict #& carmela being desperate to go back to comfort & luxury vs her family standing as firm as they could against the occupation #ahhh i am sooo not eloquent enough to express my full thoughts but like!!! fellow viewers if y'all r here u understand me right lmfoskadhsg #finding it hard to criticize bc i'm trying to make sense of where they r coming from #a.) seeing as unlike mcai this is a complete original story it's hard to see what direction they'd like to take it to #b.) fil shows really find it hard to break away from their normal formulas of family dramas & bastard children & love triangles :'))))#god the opportunity to tell a refreshing diff story but this is like gma show 67627627th but set in the japanese era....then mixed with 50%#of the mcai show feel #the editing the visuals the acting = good. 60% of the story line = can be compared to the hundreds of gma shows we've seen be4 #anywy going off on a tangent...#c.) i can understand the slow pacing as them trying to establish the settings & the feel of that era so that the more intense tragedies-#later on would hit harder #but again. few scenes feel like they're dragging on for too long. some scenes & themes r too repetitive #need to see something differenttt something fresh something developing. something moving & feeling & connecting w/the audience #need to see more of the Philippines & the Filipino people in the 40s!! not the same afternoon prime drama shot in intramuros #need to see their messages staring into our souls instead of just being words uttered in tears #all this to say....flop era this week tbh sorry #EXCEPT FOR MAX COLLINS & HER LIKE. 3 MINS SCREEN TIME. MAX COLLINS I LOVE U QUEEN #rambles #pulang araw #putting this in the main tag i KNOW some ppl out there would feel the same & can explain this better lol i swear????

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oozeandgoo-art · 11 months ago

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had an odd dream that i was reading a comic book. sketched a couple of the pages i could remember.

#i might adapt this into an actual story because i am SO SO SO mad that it isn't a thing i can go back to reading #oc #im definitely keeping the concept of save-bot i fucking love save-bot he's just doing his best. i love a robot who wants to help people #im not equipped to be writing about underground rebellions with any sense of real tact though #besides its in a superhero universe/story so you know it would just be so sucks lol #sketch #god the colors were so interesting. the teal parts were all very precisely crosshatched and the fire was this gorgeous brush pen looking #colored inks that just seemed like they were MOVING #and i mean some of that was because i was dreaming but god even in my halfhearted copy you can see some of the movement #it was a bad scene but a really really REALLY fun dream. i love when a book can *get* to me so i was really enjoying it #put it aside so i could take a break and woke up. instant fury at the universe for not having it be a real book instead #ill reblog with details if anyone's curious. i can explain this scene but i dont feel like it #the green people are in a secret basement though. hiding from the government. blue jacket guy is a speedster robot named save-bot who does #rescue stuff with every fire department so fire suppression technology is not very good because save-bot "can just save you''#however they're badly over their legal occupancy and the secret basement has One (1) exit so everyone is like really fucked here.#includinig save-bot who is going to do his job until he dies because he is an ai without any sense of self preservation and he cares #which i didn't even CATCH until i woke up and started tryin to frantically note everything down #and then i was like wait. the glitter on that last page before i realized i needed a glass of water to keep reading... what WAS that...#(it was tears suspended in midair because save-bot goes so fast and also knows he's so fucked LOL)#seriously i'm so mad someone else didn't make this.

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milo-is-rambling · 7 months ago

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I can’t even imagine living without anxiety. Like. How. What?

#I mean if I woke up tomorrow with a normal amount of anxiety it would be a shocking difference to my daily life. and I am medicated!!! like.#what? am I missing something here?#my mom tells me that meds can only do so much and that they’re really just meant to make it so you can get out of bed every day #but now I’m wondering like is that true or is that my mom is on the wrong dose herself and something could be done to help us both #gahhhhh idk I just feel helpless bc I’m scared of making big changes and the big changes have to make are scary and large and I need a #bulleted list made of things I can do (and break down into very small steps) to actually progress in a positive way in my life instead of #being SO afraid and SO stagnant. it’s been six months since (ptsd diagnosis causing thing) and I don’t feel like I’ve made any progress even #with a therapist. I’m working towards a more intensive program but I feel like it’s almost making me feel more alienated bc I’d have to like #go be surrounded by other mentally ill people and medical people which brings dad dying trauma and like I know I’m running from it bc I’m #afraid to face the changes I need to make and the feelings that are going to come up but fuck man can’t I get some fucking meds that make #this easier to deal with!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! grief and ptsd and long term isolation and anxiety and chronic pain like fuck it’s #so exhausting!!!! I feel like I’m fucking fighting thru life and then from the outside it’s like I’m doing nothing cause I stay in my room #and get stoned and play animal crossing and watch tv and cry and over eat and sometimes I drive around in circles so I can scream sing until #my throat burns and I get a headache and everything finally quiets down in my head for a second. I know I look like I’m doing nothing and #that’s because I am doing nothing but waiting for the next time a mental health professional will talk to me for an hour like it’s so sad #anyways. you ever take a big dab and then start crying and type all of this like it’s an epiphany even tho it’s things you already know.#honestly crying in front of the air conditioner is so slay slight breeze over my face cooling the tears the white noise calming me down

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mylittleredgirl · 8 months ago

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Last year I left my lawn till late because some wildlife orgs had advised that leaving it a bit later into spring is good for all the insect life. Of course, my neighbour assumed I was horribly sick and unable to move for making such a grievous grassy error that he went did it for me. Apparently it was an eyesore! I wasn't sure if i should be touched at the freely given neighbourly help or just offended at the slight upon my poor maligned grass patch. Neat lawn people just freak me out. He does his in the middle of rainstorms and I get horrible visions of those cartoon characters who electrocute themselves and you can see all their bones.

oh man!!! i know that feeling!!! a bunch of my lot was ripped up one year trying to find a broken water line, and so instead of grassing it over i bought a mix of wildflower seeds to try and grow a meadow along one side of my property that i thought would be a very pretty surprise for everyone in late summer. i live in a small town in a rural area with no HOAs or anything, but there are a lot of retired men on my street and Lawn Care is a major hobby. there is GREAT long-standing debate over The Right Mower Height for the best looking grass... and so on.

and they kept mowing my meadow down!!!

it was with such good intentions -- and i felt soooooo guilty for not mowing the REST of my lawn that was actually grass -- that i didn't know how to ask them to stop until the damage was done. and now they're always commenting on how that area is "just weeds" YEAH I KNOW MAN!! those aggressive bare-earth pioneer plants are gonna take over if you don't let my flowers grow long enough to seed!! no going back now!!

at one point i told some neighbors that i felt really bad for being the neighborhood embarrassment and they were like what? no you're not? and anyway i win because one of my neighbors is a huge huge dick, and it pays dividends to be as sweet as possible and act very grateful even when my neighbors overstep.

my current issue is the neighbor who always gives me the worst home care advice and really thinks he's helping me by cutting up rotten wood and stacking it on my woodpile while i'm at work, where i then have to burn through it to get to anything else, but he doesn't really take in social cues and he lost his wife and desperately needs to be of service to someone At All Times, so the truth is that sometimes the thing i contribute to the community is to be the neighbor who graciously accepts help even when it's not helpful.

#chatter post #anonymous friend #i am convinced that ride mowers are a form of meditation that's acceptable for men #bad for the environment but probably good for their mental health #people around here have a lot of property to mow so it really is hours and hours #my lot is only a quarter acre so i should just mow it instead of spending stupid amounts of money paying someone else #to tear around and cause all kinds of damage and mow over some actual garden beds with their speed mowing. ugh.#but i bought a lawn mower and never used it so i think that theory has been fully tested

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m0e-ru · 1 year ago

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HAPPY ANNIVERSARY to the day my brain was literally rewired and my gender was being changed by the second SO HERES A GAS STATION SPECIAL before this joint was even a gas station in the FIRST PLACE !!!!