#this is me journaling but not really journaling lol

[kepchupprabbit]

@makezkey @puggnugget @banaynaybread

COME GET YALL ANGST JUICE 😅

Please lmk you're thoughts. I haven't written anything in a really long time, and I was never really confident in my writing to begin with, but I was listening to music, and the muses overtook me, I guess

(I'm also on mobile so sorry if the format is weird)

++++++

Gale,

I miss you.

I keep telling myself I'll see you soon. I keep hoping for a letter or a knock on my door. I keep waking up expecting you by my side. We both know that won't happen. You aren't here. I want to be mad at you, I want to scream and cry. I want to act out and break things, but I just can't bring myself to do any of it.

They keep telling me to trust it will be okay. To trust in the universe and the will of the gods. I think we both know better than that. I think we both know not to trust in the will of the gods. Even La'zell said something about fate, but to be honest, I wasn't really able to listen. They keep telling me to visit the temple. That prayer will help. That even if I get no response at the very least, I will get it off my chest. I know you'd agree to the futility of that scenario.

Elminster came to visit me, if you'd believe it. Explained that Mystra wanted an audience with me. Can you believe it? MYSTRA? Of all the people in the universe, she wanted to speak with me. At Astarion's urging, I went. She brought me to her, opened up a channel of Weave, much like she did for you when we visited her temple so long ago. Can you believe it? Mystra and I having a conversation. It didn't last long of course. After pleasantries, all she really said was what they've all been saying. To visit the temple and pray. Thay praying would bring me relief. RELEIF! Can you believe her?

I left.

I went home.

There is really no relief to be had anyway. You're gone.

Besides, what is the use of praying to the God of ambition when his ambition is the reason you can't go on anymore.

I always loved you Gale.

I was always yours.

- Tav

++++++++

Thank you for reading everyone!

I really like writing things out with pen and paper so I had to type this out specifically to post lol.

Please be gentle with your input but please still be honest

Much love ❤️

Kepp

(Ps I really like stationary and physically writing things, so if anyone wants to know what my tav's handwriting/this letter/journal entry would actually look like, I will 1000% make that happen)

[mykuup]

I would never be more interested by the school's journal than for this specific edition lol

Thank you so much, I really appreciate your love and support, it means the world to me!!! 😭😭💜💜💜💜

Be my muse

Summary : You are a photograph for the Hawkins newspaper. But as you love music and arts in general, your biggest wish is to become a reporter for a band or a music magazine. As you are looking for new models for your book, you remember about a guitar and D&D player, studying at the same History class as you.

Maybe you could ask for a little help…

wc : 4,3k

Warning : graphic smut // minor DNI 18+ // fluff and smut // unprotected sex (piv) // PwP

A/n : I had to write something sweet with Eddie bc he deserves the world. Again, english isn't my native language and it's not beta'd / proof read so all the mistake u spot are my own

Originally posted on Ao3

You’re desperate as you take another picture of the cheerleader of Hawkins. Sure the girls were all pretty but you couldn’t see their faces for another second. In the red room as your pictures are developing, you dream about being on the road with a group of musicians or with your reporter card around your neck as you enter backstage.

You sigh, the face of Crissy Cunningham revealing in your last picture gets you out of your daydream.

You give your work to one of your classmates at the journalist club. Music playing in the headphones of your Walkman, an idea pops into your head. You needed to show people what you were really capable of. Something arty, not common. You wanted to show music and arts in your pictures, your boldness.

That’s it. 

You need to show how bold and how far you could go with your art. It may be shocking but for you, it was the definition of art with a capital A.

Your dad hadn't arrived yet when you came back home. Great. You will be able to listen to your Mötley Crüe vinyl at the maximum volume. You needed to brainstorm for your project. The drums and guitars ringing in your ears and in the whole house. The music was something that could bring you so much energy. Song after song, you scribble a few ideas, in vain. But it’s when you hear the first note of Starry eyes that something comes up in your brain.

Glamour.

A picture building itself right before your eyes : music, makeup, blur. You will need to improvise a background in your already improvised studio in your room. But you needed something feminine and shiny to contrast the man you will photograph. It had to be a man. The glam metal you were listening to taught everybody how a man could wear makeup to shock and amazed people. But you knew deep down that the musicians in Hawkins’ orchestra will never say “yes” to such an idea. You think again and again at every person you know, close relation or not. And after a few minutes, you write a name on your textbook.

Eddie Munson.

You laugh at reading his name. You were already picturing him, full of makeup right before your camera.

You smile at the idea that Eddie “the freak” Munson will be in your room, with you. Realizing this, your smile fades to let a concern look in your face. Of course you had a thing for him. Of course you liked him a lot and of course you were classmates. You knew each other since middle school. But will you be strong enough to not let your feelings mess up your work ? Will you be brave enough to ask him to do this, for you ?

You bite your lower lip, thinking. 

Someone opening the door downstairs takes you out of your thoughts. Your dad’s finally home, you will think about a plan later.

Few days have passed since you had your wonderful idea. It’s Thursday and you will not see Eddie before tomorrow morning at your History class. All day long, you try to make a proper sentence to ask him to come over to your place after class. Knowing that your dad will be there later helps you keep your cool in case your feelings decide to show up during the photoshoot.

That was your plan.

But everyone knows that plans don’t always come as we thought.

Friday morning. You were so stressed that you were almost late for your History class. As you enter right before the bell rings, you spot Eddie at the back of the room. You take a deep breath and walk straight to him before sitting next to him. He glanced at you, curiously. It wasn’t your usual place.

“Hello !” he whispers, a smile on his face. You’re hanging out at your textbook as you answer him, your voice trembling a little.

“Hi.”

You find courage to turn your head to face him and oh lord what did you just do. You dive into his dark brown eyes so easily. It helps you calm down instantly. Seeing that you’re staring at him without saying anything, he waves his hand -and silver rings- in front of you.

“Oh I’m sorry ! What did you say again ?” you ask, embarrassed.

“I didn’t say anything. But I think you wanted to.”

“Oh hum… yeah.”

“I’m listening.” he smiles again.

“Does one of you guys want to share something with the class?” your teacher asks, bothered by your chatting.

“I’m listening carefully.” his voice is so low it sounds like a dark mumble.

“I wanted to ask you something” you start whispering, trying to not be caught again by your teacher. “I need your help.”

“For what ?”

“Come to my place tomorrow after class.”

It’s not the way you wanted to ask for help but you felt your teacher’s gaze on you and you wanted to avoid being retained. Eddies says nothing, visibly shocked by your invitation and a bit curious too.

“I usually do this in my trailer.” You could see his grin while he faked at writing something in his notebook.

You hear your teacher clear her throat again, annoyed by you and Eddie still chatting.

“Just come, please.” you add before shutting up during the rest of the hour.

“I can’t.” says Eddie as you were both walking out of the classroom. “D&D club is Friday after class.”

You sigh as you see your plan turning to ashes. Eddie sees your sad look so he makes an offer.

“But I’m free Saturday afternoon if you really need me for… whatever you need me.” his grin’s back again.

You look at him in awe. You’ve never thought of Saturday. And you will be alone as your dad works on Saturday.

“Are you okay ?” Eddie asks, seeing you frozen in time.

“Yeah ! Saturday’s perfect !” you offer him a wide smile before leaving him. You don’t even dare to look back as you realize what you just said to him. 

Later that day, you walk by your favorite shop to buy more photo rolls and a few accessories. And after the dinner, you decide to set everything up for tomorrow. You move your bed to one side of your bedroom to get enough space. You found a light purple sheet to use as a background and you took all your makeup out of your drawer. You had some glitter and coloured eyeshadows and a few lipsticks. 

You start to plan all the poses so it would be easier for you. You’re scribbling ideas with different makeup and outfits. You pictured him wearing only his sleeveless denim jacket and glitter all over him.

Damn, this vision stopped you from breathing correctly.

You also took out from your drawer an old pair of fishnet tights so you could cut them and use them as gloves or something.

You spent several long minutes planning everything before getting some sleep. As you lay down in your bed, you start thinking about your idea. This was a very good one and you hope that you will be able to do more and more experiments like this with your art. You know you’re capable of beautiful things and you will show it to the world.

You wake up with the sweet scent of breakfast and hot coffee. As you come downstairs, you look at your father, who’s waiting for you to start eating.

“Hello sunflower, how was your night ?” he asks with a big smile on his face. You loved the link you had with him and these kinds of moments were pure treasure. 

You smile back at him before taking a sip of coffee.

“Good, thank you. Ready for work ?”

“Yeah, about that, you remember that I will come back tomorrow, as I’m taking Maria to dinner tonight.”

Of course you don’t remember. As you hear his sentence, your memory is flashing back to the day your dad told you he dated someone.

“Of course I remember !” you lied. “How could I forget Maria !” Your laugh was fake but right now, you just wanted your father to not notice the panic in your eyes.

He laughed too before eating his breakfast.

After your dad leaves the house, you put a record on your music station to listen to your music at high volume. You needed to think about something else than the arrival of Eddie. Electric guitars and drums help you relax. As you finish preparing your bedroom, you hear the doorbell ring.

“Hello y/l/n.” says Eddie with a wide smile as you open the door. He’s wearing his denim jacket with a black leather perfecto. A Black Sabbath t-shirt and his old pair of black ripped jeans.

“Hi !” you answer, avoiding his eyes. “Hum…Please come in.”

“I didn’t know you had such good taste in music !” he teases, vibin to the track that was playing. “So, I’m here and maybe you could explain to me why you need my help ?”

“Oh yeah sure… hum…” you’re biting your lips, and Eddie could see your foot tapping the floor.

“You okay ?” he asks, a bit concerned. “We don’t need to do this. Give me the world and I just walk away…”

“What are you talking about ?” you were surprised about his sudden change of mood.

“I don’t know y/n, you’re not the kind of girl I’m used to see when I’m selling weed.”

“What ?! No ! I didn’t ask you to come here for that !”

“No ?! You were acting weird in Mrs.Clapton’s class y’know.”

You sigh, head in your hands. You didn’t know if you were ashamed or if you wanted to laugh out loud about the whole situation. Eddie misunderstood your intentions but you couldn’t blame him. And it’s true that you were acting weird as you were stressed.

You let out a soft laugh before answering to Eddie.

“Eddie, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to fool you !” you can see his eyes lighting up again and his smile coming back. “I was a bit embarrassed to ask you if you could model for me.”

There they are. You said the words with such ease you couldn’t even believe it. You look at Eddie to see his reaction. At first, he looks at you, brows frowned. But then, you could see in his eyes his curiosity peaking.

“Modeling. For you.” he repeats, looking straight and pointing at you.

“Glam modeling.” you add with boldness. “And I know you’re perfect for this.”

Eddie gapes at you, then smiles.

“The good news is, flattery works with me so…”

“I know.” you smile back at him before showing him the way upstairs.

As you show him the way, Eddie’s glancing at you, wondering how he ends up in your room. He looks around him to see his surroundings. He sees your improvised photo scene but he also notices the makeup lying on your bed.

“What’s this ?” he asks, taking a thing on your bed.

"Lipstick." You take it from him to open it up. “Dark red lipstick.” you add before throwing it away with the rest of your makeup. “And before you ask, yes. This is all for you.”

“Even these err… glitter ?” Eddie’s arching an eyebrow as he kneels before your bed to look closely at your makeup.

“Is there a problem?” You start to feel stressed as you see that Eddie isn’t really into it. Maybe your idea wasn’t that good in the end. But your classmate feels your doubt and gets up to reassure you.

“Oh no! No problem at all ! It’s just… I’ve never…” he shakes his hands in front of his face. “I’ve never done this before. Wearing makeup and all of that…”

“I guess yeah… Are you okay with that or… ?”

“Yeah ! I trust you. You’re the artist after all !” he adds, smiling at you.

You smile back at him. Eddie was kind and sweet with you. He has always been. You clap your hand before starting the photoshoot. You shared your ideas with him, glancing at him from time to time to see if everything was okay for him.

“Well, where should we start ?” he inquired.

“For now, stay like this and go in front of the background so we can both get in the mood !”

“Okay well, I’ll just listen to your music and… go with the flow !”

You both laugh at his tone. As Eddie’s starting to move and pose, you start to take some pictures. The flash of your camera enlightens his face. After a few minutes, you could feel that Eddie’s more relaxed as being your model. That is when you decide to start your initial project.

“Great ! They turned out great ! But now it’s time for makeup ! Shall we ?”

Eddie looks at you, a bit hesitant.

“I don’t know how to use all this y’know…”

“Hum… but if you’re okay, I can do it for you.”

Eddie nods and sits at the edge of your bed, looking up at you. You started to blush when you kneel between his legs to be at the same height as his. You search for your eyeliner crayon first to start slowly.

“Okay, please close your eyes.” you almost whisper, approaching closer to his face. You could both feel the breath of the other. “Tell me if it hurts.”

He nods and closes his eyes. Very gently, you put your left hand on his cheeks. He jumps a bit as he couldn’t see you but then calms down as he feels something on his eyelid. You darkened his eyes very carefully. As you’re done, you ask him to open his eyes again. He blinks a few times before looking straight at you.

“So ? How does it look ?” he playfully asks.

You look at him in awe. Thank god he doesn’t wear eyeliner everyday or you would never graduate. It gives an extra something to his eyes in which you would gladly dive.

“It’s…” you gape at him before handing him a mirror. 

You see Eddie looking at himself in the mirror. He brings his fingertips to his eyes and the mirror closer to his face to check on what you just did.

“It suits you very well.” you admit with a smile.

“I kinda like that to be honest !”

He smiles back at you before getting up. You ask him to take off his denim jacket for now and then take more pictures.

The time passes by and you and Eddie are having some fun. You laugh and sing at the songs that are currently playing. You tried several poses with different looks and styles. You both took a break before a new set of pictures with a new outfit.

“Are you ready ?” you ask, a bit stressed.

“Yeah sure ! What do you want me to do now ?” Eddie can see that you’re avoiding his eyes. Your cheeks are turning crimson red as you take one of your glitter pot.

“Would you hum… would you take off your shirt? I… I want to try something…” You glance at him to see his face before turning back to face your door instead of him. You could hear that he’s taking his jacket off and his shirt.

“You know that you don’t have to hide your face.” he says. “You will see me anyways.”

You turn back to him, very slowly, the glitter pot still in your hands. When you’re facing him again, you couldn’t avoid your eyes to scan his face and torso. You knew he had tattoos but it’s the first time that you could see them. 

You take a step closer, and without a word, you open the lid of the glitter container. You look at Eddie’s eyes and your cheek becomes red again. He leans his head to have a better look at you and at what you’re doing. You dig your finger in the glitter before approaching them to his collarbones. You’re trembling a little but you find examining his tattoos calming. Gently, you start to put silver glitter on him. His skin is soft and hot. You could feel his heart beating as you added glitter in this area. His breath smells like weed as it makes a few strands of your hair moving.

Not knowing why, you could feel his breath grow heavy as you see his chest raising.

“Is… everything okay ?” you ask, almost whispering.

The music that is still playing is now just a buzzing sound to your ears. And as Eddie doesn’t answer you, you realized that maybe he didn’t hear you.

“Eddie ?” you insist, a bit louder but still with a sweet tone in your voice.

“Hum sorry y/n. What did you say ?” You could see him blushing as he looked into your eyes. You shake your head.

“Nothing, I’m almost done.”

You put a few glitters on his eyelids too before taking a step back. You clean your hand on your jeans before taking your camera again, making a sign to Eddie so he could go back in front of your improvised background.

You could see that Eddie was looking at you. His stare was deep and straight to the camera. You almost feel like he could go through to scan your soul.

You came closer to him to help him find the right gesture. You took his hand -with his many rings- and put it on his cheek, the other one wrapping up his arm and laying on his shoulder. He wasn’t really facing you and you asked him to look lost in his thoughts. 

The truth is that he was already deep diving in his mind when you first came closer to him earlier. He couldn’t stop himself thinking about your fingers on his skin and your scent that embraced him. He kept the pose until you said you were done with this scene.

“Can we take a break ?” he asks gently. “I need a cigarette.”

“Yeah sure ! Downstairs, in the kitchen. The door to the garden !” you smile at him.

“Thank you.” he walks over to you to exit your bedroom. You followed his steps as you needed a drink.

After your glass of water, you take a glance outside. Eddie’s smoking, his back laying on the wall. He was half under the porch but the sunrays make his chest glowing like millions of diamonds. You couldn’t miss this opportunity of such a picture.

You sneak out in your garden, and squat down. Through the camera’s lense, you could see Eddie and his nonchalant posture and the smoke he just breathed out from his lungs.

This was a perfect shot.

You couldn’t be happier with this one. And thinking again, you decide it would be the last picture of him. You could understand that even if he was acting okay, he was maybe annoyed by all of that. You came back to your bedroom to start cleaning all your mess while Eddie was still outside, smoking.

“Hey, what you’re doing?”

You jump as you didn’t hear him coming back.

“Cleaning. I think we’re done. I have everything I need.” you didn’t know how you sounded before Eddie worried.

“Have I done something wrong ?”

You stop what you were doing to face him.

“What ? No, of course not ! But I thought that you would start to be annoyed with all of this.”

“How could I be annoyed ? I’ve never done something more fun than that !” a wide smile enlightens his face.

“Stop being a liar Munson ! How about your D&D sessions ?” you add, rising an eyebrow as you start to laugh.

“Yeah, maybe D&D is fun. But this was…” you could see Eddie searching his words. “A very interesting experience.” he finally says, still a grin on his face.

“Well, I am more than happy to know that I was an interesting experience !” you laugh. “But let me help you with all this mess!” you add, gesturing at the glitter all over him.

You run to the bathroom to take a wet washcloth.

“It may be a bit cold.” you inform Eddie before you put the washcloth on his chest. He startled before you started rubbing off the glitter.

Again, Eddie had his eyes fixed on you. Slowly, his hand rose to grab your chin so he could see your face. He locks his eyes in yours and you stop breathing. You blink a few times before breaking the moment.

“Is… is everything okay ?” you mumble, gently. You could feel his breath caressing your mouth and you could almost taste the tobacco.

He doesn’t even respond to you before his lips gently kiss yours. It was surprisingly sweet and slow. You let the washcloth fall down so you could wrap your arm behind his neck. At this move Eddie intensifies his kiss as he brings you even closer to him, his tongue trying to reach yours. You could feel his smile as you let him in. Your tongues dancing as you both start to move in sync close to your bed. As Eddie wants to lay you down gently, you turn at the last second to push him onto your bed. You crawl over to straddle his lap as your hands land on his chest.

“Wow.” was the only word he could let out right now. Gapping at you, he was waiting for your next move, his hand grabbing your hips.

You blush as you see his reaction. But you couldn’t stop. You wouldn’t stop this right now. You french kiss him again, very slowly this time. You could feel his hands running on your back and one grabbing your butt.

“Can I take this off?” he mumbles between two kisses, as he pinch the hem of your shirt.

You nod before sitting back so he could easily take away the piece of clothes. After throwing it away, he hugs you. His arms are strong around you, his skin hot and you find his lips on your neck very pleasing. You moan at his touch and you could hear a low growl as Eddie start to gently play with your breast under your bra. You arch your back as his lips are getting down. He gently takes off your bra so he could have a better access to your nipples. But before tasting your skin, he gently caresses your cheek with his hand, his rings bringing a cold sensation.

“You’re beautiful.”

You lose it at these three simple words. You smile at him before kissing him harder, making you both swing onto the bed again. This time, Eddie embraces you and turns so he could be on top. His eyes lock on your, he takes off your pair of jeans, before doing the same with his. You could see how hard he already was as he could see how wet you were. He crawls back to you, kissing every part of your body from your belly to your neck. As you wrap your legs around him, you feel his length rubbing your center.

You moan again.

“Ed…Eddie…” you groan.

“Yes sweetheart?”

“I want to feel you.”

As your word, he stops kissing you and takes off the last piece of clothes you both were wearing.

“You’re so wet.” he says as his fingers run to your fold. He first plays a bit with your clit, rubbing it gently in circular motion. He loved the way you were responding to his touch. Then you feel the tip of his cock at your entry. Again, he teases you before gently sliding inside you. His body on yours, he kisses you as you let out louder moans, feeling every inch of him inside you.

“God you… you’re so tight.” he says with a quaver in his voice.

He lets you accomodate to him before starting to move slowly. You both quickly find your pace and Eddie starts to thrust into you faster. Your nails are digging on the skin of his back as he could see your breast bouncing under him. Your moan is getting louder as you hear him growl close to your ear.

He made you scream when he dived himself to the hilt, reaching your deepest spot.

“This is my favorite music.” he mumbled with a grin, hearing your loud moan.

You both move faster, his skin slapping yours. You were both dripping sweat and your orgasm was getting closer. One of your hands gets lost in his hair as the other finds his. You take it to guide him to your clit so he could touch you where you needed him the most. He presses your clit, rubbing it faster and faster as he is pounding into you.

“I… I’m coming !” you shout as you feel a heat wave in your body. You hear the guttural sound that came out from Eddie’s throat as he trusts himself one last time.

Your breath is heavy and you’re both exhausted from what just happened. As you take a look at him, you could see his chest rising from his heavy breath, glitter still on his skin at some spot. You let out a subtle laugh at the view.

Eddie looks at you, raising an eyebrow. You come closer to caress his chest where the glitter was.

“You still shine a bit from earlier.” you gently say with a smile.

“You’re a shining star too sweetheart !” he smirks as he points at you.

As you look at yourself, you could see that your body gets some glitter in the way. You both laugh before he takes you in his embrace, kissing your temple gently. Your fingers tracing gentle lines on his skin, you feel his breath slowing down.

You smile.

“Whenever you need a model, please call me first.”

[inpursuitofnunchi]

there are very few dramas that burrow their way so deep into my heart that they become a part of my soul, my conscience - don't get me wrong, i like/love A LOT of dramas (im a serial liker/lover you can say) - but with some dramas, it's like I have a perpetual hangover. Kinda like "the one - kdrama version" (assume the one to be a group with a small number of elements) (sorry my stem ass is showing) (also sorry for the endless brackets, my adhd is also showing)

Anyway, the point is i am pretty sure that Love Next Door is on the verge of joining this set already inhabited by Hometown Cha-Cha-Cha, Misaeng and My Mister.

[valyrfia]

i have to say the disconnect between the traditional media and the actual fan sentiment is absolutely wild in F1 at the moment. take oscar's overtake on lando in turn 1 in monza. every single fan that i've spoken to irl or seen online thinks it was the best move ever, super exciting to watch, and all in all just good racing whereas every single journalist immediately got on air and cried about it (looking at you will buxton) and chose into the baku weekend to continue to villainise oscar to hell for not just acting as second driver (even though there were no team orders to do so).

[anirritant]

like man the parallels between stan and bill are so so so so so fascinating to me ough...... the most obvious thing is that they speak so similarly, often using the same terms and i can't help but wonder how intentional it all was on the part of the writers. biggest one being "eenie meenie miney you" to me, it's so specific.

it could simply be bill picking up stan's mannerisms through ford's memories to further appeal to ford (is that canon somewhere? i don't actually know but i see it mentioned a lot) but some of these are things bill still says and does even when ford is absent. for a being that's lived for trillions of years would terms he picked up only a couple decades ago cement themselves in his behaviour so much?

(also, has anyone ever brought up dreamscaperers' deleted scenes where bill summons a paddleball in the mindscape? stan does the same thing in his own mindscape in the finale. again, that's so specific i can't help but wonder how intentional it was or if it was just a coincidence. i know deleted scenes might not be the best to point to as evidence but i think i've only ever seen someone allude to in one fic and nowhere else?)

i havent read tbob and haven't really kept up much with the new info from it but i have seen the poem about stan and gosh like. it really does seem like it's being consistently hinted at over and over that there's something there with specifically bill and stan. the axolotl's poem was already eyebrow raising with how much of it could be applied to stan and now there's even more..

[aimedis]

redacted characters as things in my journal 🎀

relatively big tw - there's like vague to explicit mentions of su!cid3 and heavily implied mental self-esteem struggles in this one (i'm alright at the moment, promise) so if that's triggering to you, don't read. this is kinda heavy and maybe disturbing to read to some people i think.

i decided to do this because i though it was kinda fun and cool to like analyse my stuff and the characters a little bit. sorry if this offends anyone ig? idk 😭 i'll be back with the more lighthearted stuff in a couple days okay let's go ->

darlin: "my feelings aren't in my control most of the time. i don't know why i feel this way."

angel before they broke up with micheal: "i think is funny (but i also feel bad) that he's always talking about "getting married" and "forever" when i have a break up letter sitting in my notes."

freelancer: lyrics to "making the bed - olivia rodirgo"

darlin: "i don't wanna talk about him anymore."

damien: "i just want my mom. and i wish i could go up to her just bawling my fucking eyes out like i'm five-years-old without feeling like a fucking failure but i can't... i've survived long enough and i can do it some more."

darlin before sam: "and a part of me will always miss what once was or could have been. but i know they will never be long term, permanent, or reality. i wasn't created to have a happy ending... but i'm okay with this. it makes it easier to slip away and disappear."

cutie: i don't know what so say really. i just feel empty and alone often. i feel out of place. i feel like everything i do is humiliating or straight up wrong. i don't know what's wrong with me."

gavin: "try as i might, i still feel like i am not in my body. living vicariously... through myself?"

baabe: "i should know. my dad didn't want me enough to stay."

lasko: "man what a fucking baby. stop crying over shit that hasn't even happened."

damien before huxley: "i wish i was dead. do you think if [mom] knew she'd wish that too?" (knew that he was gay)

lovely: lyrics to "strangers - ethel cain"

darlin: "i hope it's not my fault when it's all over. i want one thing to not be my fault. but it probably will be."

angel: "why am i crying. again. over and over and over again. it's all i ever do. cry about this or cry about that."

milo post-inversion: "this hurts a lot more than i thought. the thought of feeling like this forever? it sucks."

freelancer: "fucking kill me. i can't breathe."

sam: "is it wrong to think i don't deserve this or that it's not my fault?"

lasko: "it feels like i'm always apologizing."

david: "it really hurts when i need to talk to [him] so bad but i can't."

huxley post-inversion/xavier's death: "is it just always going to feel like this? holy shit this hurts."

damien: "i'm sorry, mom, i'm sorry."

vincent: "the real me? i don't know who that is anymore."

angel: "one more or one less, nobody's worried. my tummy hurts."

darlin before sam: "i don't plan on feeling like this again. i don't plan on "being in love" ever again. as if i know what that feels like... it makes me feel like shit all the time."

cutie: "after this, i'll go back to being alone. like god intended."

asset: "it's kind of sad how i don't even feel like a person sometimes."

lovely: "every so often it hurts so much i think it's gonna rip me apart from the inside."

asher post-inversion: "and it's like, sometimes it straight up feels like i'm gonna die in that moment."

sweetheart: "my greatest sin to men was being a child."

damien: lyrics to "forwards beckon rebound - adrianne lenker"

[sleepinglionhearts]

Hobonichi updates 🖊 📖

[browniesnivy]

Sailor Moon x Yu-Gi-Oh! When I was in middle school, I was writing a crossover fanfiction where Yami Yugi appeared as Sailor Sun. The story was that Queen Serenity and King Endymion had a second daughter named Pika who had suddenly fused with the Golden Crystal. Her parents sent her back in time to protect her from evil intergalactic forces seeking to harness the crystal’s power, and entrusted Yami and Yugi with the task of caring for her. At some point, the villains traveled back in time and possessed Kaiba, who then kidnapped Pika. When Yami and Yugi come to rescue her, their bond with Pika allows them to use her Golden Crystal to transform into Sailor Sun. I never actually finished writing this story or published any part of it, but I was recently reminded of it’s existence and thought it would be fun to revisit!

[mysticfemme]

one day I'm going to write a story about a butch knight and a femme princess and it will be medieval and it will be romantic and it will be everything I wanted as a teenager

[valeriannnn]

I know little of the Keepers and their cultural norms, but I suppose it should not come as a surprise that matters of grooming and personal maintenance should carry a more pragmatic connotation for those who live in such isolation - or perhaps our friend is simply strange, regardless of his context. I must admit: it was no small comfort to me, in those frigid days heralding the twilight of the Dragonsong War, to discover that our champion did not share our Sharlayan intuition toward personal space. Our more guarded companions don't always share my gratitude for the attention, but I believe that after our long estrangement, even the coldest of hearts could not fail to be warmed by such a gesture.

Wolcred Week 2024 Day 1: Warmth | Home

ok as mentioned in the tags i didnt have time to render a complete scene for this but i found this old mspaint sketch that demonstrates the Vibe. tyagoa just walked up behind him after cleaning up from their meal

[valensolo12]

PoE journal part... 5? where i was forced to face the inevitable challenge of learning how to draw dragons (previous entries here)

entering spoilers territory maybe!

I loooved speaking to the gods and reading those dream-like encounters with them, probably one of my favorite parts of the game so far.

also the adra dragon fight? big fan of her killing everyone in the party in one hit! what the hell

[fr00tbats]

me all day all nite fr

[rimmerslustmonster]

I really wanted to love Arcane but after watching all of it I still find the majority of it really unfulfilling. Like, the animation really is gorgeous (as in, I literally think it's the prettiest/most smoothly animated show I've ever seen in my life and the action sequences especially were incredible) and I found basically all of the characters and their relationships initially really compelling but ultimately it just felt really empty to me.

So many characters' decisions/motivations (not all--there are a handful of obvious choices) seemed to shift aimlessly depending on what music video the creators wanted to make at the time, and the fact that the vast majority of characters actions feels reactionary to whatever outside force (the arcane/hex tech/black rose/whatever) they decided to invoke at the time was really annoying to me. Reactionary character choices aren't inherently bad, but when you have certain characters that everyone in the show plays up as strategic geniuses or powerhouses or whatever and then they also end up just kind of drifting along with whatever is thrown in to get them to end up wherever they ultimately need to be like dust motes and they don't end up being the actuators of basically anything at all in the end it's just fucking irritating tbh. (Especially thinking of season 2 Ambessa here--so much of what she found/achieved was basically by chance and it didn't feel like a coherent effort of her own that actually ended up getting her anywhere and maybe that's a commentary on the opportunistic nature of power or something but it still sucked imo because of how often everyone talked about what a great strategist she is and how dangerous/formidable she was in her own right and she just kind of wasn't in the end because the things she consciously put such a big investment in immediately fell apart for her so it was like... what was the fucking point? she could've been so much fucking better).

It felt like half the stuff that happened didn't happen in service of some overarching message or story but to fulfill vibes and the drama of it. Which again isn't inherently bad but there was just so much of it. Too many things felt like they fell into place 'just so' despite nothing the characters doing as individuals really feeling like it earned them that place. I do think they managed to pull a decent amount of it together in the end, but frankly it's only out of spite I ended up watching the final episode anyway, and you really shouldn't be counting on viewers to do that.

Anyway. Ultimately I guess it's just not for me I think, and the parts of it I did like (style, animation, themes, certain characters) didn't make trying to internally patch the parts I didn't (what felt to me like inconsistent characterization, mishandling themes/messages) to make it work for me feel like it worth the effort so in the end I really can't be bothered to care about it beyond just finishing the series and that makes me kinda sad.

As a show it was fine. The finale did a pretty good job of wrapping some things up mostly satisfyingly enough but damn it was hard to get there.

[reineyday]

maybe an insane d20 ship but burrow's end ava/silence tho...

old person romance!!! ava always speaking her mind and never shutting up and being allergic to real emotions vs hester feeling the pain of their sister maiming and then leaving them for twenty years and still being vulnerable to write it down and express it the only way they can despite the loss of their jaw. silence surviving to see what their sister has become, feeling despair and grief and betrayal but also can't deny that they still love her bc that's their sister, and getting ava to share her own guilt and helplessness about kenji; ava talking abt raising tula and viola by herself and hester talking about whatever kind of family they had with the other first stoats, and how their role functioned at last bast with so many stoats gradually finding their way over the years--the responsibility of providing a home in the aftermath of death and doing it while holding the guilt that you werent enough to save the person you love the most in the whole world.

(hester getting jaw surgery with the help of human science and the light, so they don't have to wear a gas mask all the time, and speaking for the first time in 20 years. tula never quite trusting silence and always giving them the stink-eye, and bennet being kind of awkward 'cuz ava is awesome and intimidating as an in-law but her partner is his former boss and both his in-laws will probably live way longer than him and it's kind of weird. i think thorn would be worried about his role as stoat representative and the stoatal relationship w humans, right up until silence confirms they are 100p on-board and then he will relax completely around them, but viola will always be sketched out as well, like her sister. lila will also follow tula's lead, but jaysohn would follow ava's and end up bragging often about both his cool and powerful grandparents. the painfully awkward conversation that ava brings up all by herself to the suffering of everyone else including hester when she has the "they could never replace your father" conversation, even tho tula's already with bennet at this time and thus has had this convo with her own kids already, and hester knows they're not kenji and would never try to insert themself like that into ava's kids' or even grandkids' lives, but ava insists on talking about it bc she's doing emotions now! embracing change! and this is truly one of the only times tula and viola and hester lock eyes and understand the frustration and love they all have for ava lol.)

this got long!!! oops. but ye, ava came back from the dead to yell in silence's face about how much they don't scare her and i was like "i'd ship it" and i stand by it lmao.

[icicleteeth]

The thing is Honey is Supposed to be unattractive (by conventional standards) to Everyone... Guys who want skinny dudes won't like him, guys who want fat dudes won't like him either and guys who want muscular dudes definitely won't like him, his hair is a mess in a way that isn't really pretty; the point is he's kinda ugly in a failboy loser way... But it doesn't get him down... That's how I see myself irl so it's why Honey turned out this way

[suddencolds]

.~