#bc of the mask and the way they kept trying to say smth. and like. theyre missing their JAW so you KNOW smth tragic happened!!!

[reineyday]

maybe an insane d20 ship but burrow's end ava/silence tho...

old person romance!!! ava always speaking her mind and never shutting up and being allergic to real emotions vs hester feeling the pain of their sister maiming and then leaving them for twenty years and still being vulnerable to write it down and express it the only way they can despite the loss of their jaw. silence surviving to see what their sister has become, feeling despair and grief and betrayal but also can't deny that they still love her bc that's their sister, and getting ava to share her own guilt and helplessness about kenji; ava talking abt raising tula and viola by herself and hester talking about whatever kind of family they had with the other first stoats, and how their role functioned at last bast with so many stoats gradually finding their way over the years--the responsibility of providing a home in the aftermath of death and doing it while holding the guilt that you werent enough to save the person you love the most in the whole world.

(hester getting jaw surgery with the help of human science and the light, so they don't have to wear a gas mask all the time, and speaking for the first time in 20 years. tula never quite trusting silence and always giving them the stink-eye, and bennet being kind of awkward 'cuz ava is awesome and intimidating as an in-law but her partner is his former boss and both his in-laws will probably live way longer than him and it's kind of weird. i think thorn would be worried about his role as stoat representative and the stoatal relationship w humans, right up until silence confirms they are 100p on-board and then he will relax completely around them, but viola will always be sketched out as well, like her sister. lila will also follow tula's lead, but jaysohn would follow ava's and end up bragging often about both his cool and powerful grandparents. the painfully awkward conversation that ava brings up all by herself to the suffering of everyone else including hester when she has the "they could never replace your father" conversation, even tho tula's already with bennet at this time and thus has had this convo with her own kids already, and hester knows they're not kenji and would never try to insert themself like that into ava's kids' or even grandkids' lives, but ava insists on talking about it bc she's doing emotions now! embracing change! and this is truly one of the only times tula and viola and hester lock eyes and understand the frustration and love they all have for ava lol.)

this got long!!! oops. but ye, ava came back from the dead to yell in silence's face about how much they don't scare her and i was like "i'd ship it" and i stand by it lmao.

[xx-psych0-rabbit-xx]

Falin :3

First impression:i had dungeon meshi filtered out of spite till earlier this year bc i got annoyed i kept seeing it everywhere LMAO i didnt even know what she looked like

Impression now:i love my autistic girl.god bless her heart gotta love characters ostracized for being different.i love shes herself first n foremost despite all that <3

Favorite moment:hmmm.maybe the flashback where she tells marcille she wants her n laios to live even if she hurts someone w the teleportation magic.i rly like that analysis of that moment that says she just doesnt care for humans much due to her backstory.shes v low empathy to me.

Idea for a story: honestly? beyond "her post story adventures" i actually feel we saw everything we could want of falin, ik this is ironic bc ive seen ppl claim shes underdeveloped bc of how little shes there (smth i HEAVILY disagree w.i think everything you need to know abt falin is presented to you, a character not being spoonfed n explained word by word to you doesnt mean theyre not there enough.some of you would never survive playing kirby.)

Unpopular opinion:ive said this before but i rly dont like the popular hc she masks? just.nothing abt her comes across that way?? i am still reading for note but yes shes a little more liked than laios in their group BUT thats between like.5 ppl.both of them suffered social ostracization for being different n not fitting in, laios kept looking for somewhere he fit in while falin suffered in silence alone, nothing implies she tries making herself more palatable shes just.more quiet than he is lmao.idk girl was hated by her village n school n never tried to make herself likable to either, i dont think the fact shes more liked by their small adult friend group is indicating shes suddenly started trying to do that.am i making sense.

just wild to claim this girl whos been hated n alone her whole life masks n is more liked by *everyone* than her brother bc.her childhood friend is easier on her n a guy has a crush on her.cmon yall.

Favorite relationship:i cannot pick between laios marcille n thistle for this.the touden siblings r a rly cool way to show autism n ill always be a sucker for sibling relationships, but marcilles love for her is soooo fucking cool but the mother child imagery w thistle?? faligon just looked at her new boss like "oh thats a baby!!!"

Favorite headcanon:as previously mentioned i rlyyy like reading her as low empathy little care for others due to trauma.i dont think shed ever go out of her way to harm a stranger shes v "goes w the flow from how ppl r treating her", but again when it comes to laios n marcilles safety she rly doesnt care if she has to harm someone else

[transrightsjimin]

very old lady just approached me in the elevator in a hospital & asked "you're still scared, huh?" bc im masked. i replied "oh uh i just get sick easily otherwise". she responded "ah yeah we're probably just stubborn 😆 maybe we just have a strong body" and then coughed up a lung

i tend to minimize why i mask or how much i do it just to avoid ppl getting angry at me so i said "oh yeah uh especially in a hospital and stuff" and she replied "well it's everywhere, here, in the tram, store, etc" 😶 so she agrees and is better informed but doesnt care

anyway. saw a gynaecologist today to tell her i want to know if i have PCOS and she asked why i wear a mask as all doctors do and i simply said "oh i dont want to get sick" which she kinda got and i added "yeah and ever since i got covid last year i've been having heart issues" which she also kinda got and laughed along w me and her male assistant understood it too i think tho he looked a little scared like 👁__👁

she first said "you do know theres not really medication or anything for PCOS and that at most you'll likely be sent to a dietist right?" and i thought oh fk no and suggested that i could try taking the pill on doctor's advice to have a more balanced hormonal system and she was like oh yeah that can help too. 👁👄👁

but after she asked if i take the pill (no), ever had sex (no) or use tampons (no) she seemed really hesitant to try to check what i have in the regular way, which is apparently via an internal echo? and bc of her hesitance, i was reluctant too 😬

and i didn't mind her having a male assistant (the scared looking guy who luckily assured me from the moment i met him in the waiting room that the actual gyneacologist is in the office) but her offering to put a device in my pussy for an echo right away on a chair w wide spread foot stands right there in the room, w her reluctance and with him just standing there in the corner and w the chair facing a window blinds up?!?&&;&(?' i said uhm no thank you

but when she decided to do an echo from the surface of my stomach she kept muttering she probably can't see anything this way and it was true 😭

she'll try to ask colleagues for other kinds of echos or other methods and get back to me after i get my blood drawn by my next pms cycle which is who knows when. anyway. sorry for the tmi but i feel bad for saying no to the regular method bc then it'd just be over with it quicker. but she made it sound way more painful and intimate than i wouldve thought it was otherwise like. i kinda saw a doctor put his fingers up my moms butt before to check for smth to do w her bowel illness and even that felt less odd than this 😭 and now im just a little scared plus i was NOT mentally prepared for smth like that oh my god?

maybe ill get back on this but then ill tell the doctor i dont want the blinds open nor a man there

[wildernessuntothemselves]

okay so i'm done reading all the parts after.. 4,5 hours? idk but i have to say the way you've written this is so so so good! i love this so much! at first i was 100% team beomgyu cause he was so nice (and he's my bias) but then i kept switching? when he locked her in I was team t and then team b again when he was nicer to her, then team t again before the rescue but after/during the rescue team b again cause reader really didn't seem comfortable with taehyun? i feel like while taehyun might treat reader with the wanted respect he doesn't know what kind of love reader wants? like she got used to the kind of love beomgyu gives her which was acts of service, physical touch and words of affirmation but taehyun doesn't do any of that? and beomgyu is seriously fucked up! the whole toxic rape thing and locking her in is really not okay if this was real BUT I can't help but feel sympathy for him? idk he treats reader so nice when he's not in his crazy mind, tells her he loves her, takes care of her and knows how to comfort her if needed all of which taehyun doesn't know how to do or just doesn't want to do? i also feel as if gyu and reader got a bit similar? gyu did everything for reader to like him again after what he did to her and then reader did everything for tae to like her and both of their attempts may have worked for a bit but ultimately didn't work till the end. if i was in her situation i wouldn't know what to do, if she stays he's prolly gonan attack and if she goes to him he might attack anyways out of spite? and idk if i should believe him when he says he'll forgive her? he'll probably always have guards with her even in the bathroom or smth which would be creepy. also, i really liked Kai but he turned into the biggest bitch? with a good reason bc he just wants to protect taehyun but still he's so mean :(

i'm really looking forward to the other parts! bc you said it has a sad ending i'm guessing reader will be stuck with one of them without being happy bc honestly if they both died she would be free, probably still not happy tho? ugh it's such a hard situation! but i think if I were her I'd get with beomgyu again, it's a good attempt to save many lives and there she is cared for, has nice food, a nice home and before tae rescued her it was fine with gyu, right? they were at the beach and had a fun time so i think they could live a nice life together after they get over everything that happened! it'll still feel like shit to be the secret women but maybe if he gets someone to secretly kill ryujin he can remarry reader? like if he masks her death as an assault or smth he can remarry after a bit of time i think? he's king now after all? it's so complicated... but you've done such a good job! thank you <3

Ahhh usually in my stories people keep flipping sides like this but curiously with this story most people are firmly on one side or the other so this is a nice change of pace 😂 it really is hard choosing.

Taehyun's love language is actually physical touch and acts of service but you really gotta look for them 😂

"He's so nice when he's not in his crazy mind" this is sadly what abusers are like irl (but like I'm also team gyu since this is just a story but irl I'd want him behind bars lol)

Actually reader didn't try as hard as she thinks as you'll see in the next chapter :'D and yeah gyu will probably have guards on her 24/7. That is if he lets her leave her room at all :'D

She enjoyed the beach but she wasn't happy. It was just a bubble 😔 she wanted it forever but once they went back she'd have to live with just being his whore. Even if he kills ryujin she'd still be married to tyun. If he wants to marry her he has to kill both i fear

[sageinacage]

hello sageinacage at tumblr dot com i am here to Talk about lee c!ponk bc i have Thoughts.

- has such just. wholesome lee vibes? like with people that he's trying to keep up an image w or people who he doesn't know as well he'd probably be more stubborn n stuff but with people he's closer to he's a lot softer

- this man has no shame but in like. the most gentle way. like he sings along to girl in red and makes horrible puns and flirts with Everyone and just has the absolute energy of cuddling someone and having them slowly trace his sides or smth

- purpled and punz tried to teach him to fight and they ended up wrecking his shit bc he kept fussing over them midfight bc of the Healer Instincts yk?

- has moments where he just. he just kinda slumps onto the couch beside sam (shhh we're pretenting the warden is Someone Else just 4 this) and turns on a movie and pokes him to the tune of the music until sam gives into his provoking

- he's usually got his mask but if he doesn't he gets really confused when the ler points out how flustered he is and then he goes redder because fuck he can actually be percieved now

- he's a very giggly person generally speaking. like he'll just feel really content and just start laughing and its v swag

- not a lot of teasing on him because he is That Shameless, but the two worst things for him are absolute silence because say something dammit oh my god and any sort of cooing at him because that is Illegal

- doesnt rlly curl up, he just sort of flails weakly like a fuckin. fish on land or smth. very squirmy but his brain has trained him to be nonviolent bc again. healer. so he never really hurts anyone he just pushes at them weakly like a kitten pawing at things :]

I HAVE NOTHING TO ADD THESE ARE ALL SO PERFECT PLEASEHJKFJHDSK i've been wanting to write lee!ponk stuff for a while is it okay that i use these hcs in a fic bc they're. such bangers holy moly AKJFHDKSB

[jjkfire]

IM SO HAPPY YOU GOT TO GO!!!!!

omg sorry for the late reply but i saved this message so i could tell you how the concert was!!! but i’m putting it under a break and i know that feature is wonky on mobile but to everyone else, skip ahead of this post if you don’t want to hear about the concert!

i mean im still like on another plane of existence after getting to watch them but you know hahaha. i really can’t believe how everything fell in place for me! i mean from my class being cancelled so i could leave and get to the venue with time to buy my last minute ticket... and for that last minute ticket to even exist??? plus the fact that i got it? and that it was a P2 seat right in front of the extended stage? i mean idk i just wow thank you universe ily

but oh my god everyone says they somehow look better in person and i was like how is that possible??? but it really is possible and i can’t believe how good they look aksjgdkjasjagds

and they sound sooooooo good oh my god. okay i wont lie... like last time i was a lil skeptical about whether they actually sound that good live but the answer is yes they do and im sorry i ever doubted them! the vocal line shined in their performance of truth untold like each and every one of them killed it. jungkook’s adlibs were so beautiful i wanted to cry. also rap line killed it during outro: tear like i lost my voice just screaming the chorus part. it was soooo hype

watching all of them get to perform their solo song was so good like akjhfkjakj the choreo, or just the vibe from the songs... they all look like they were having fun!!! plus the fact that they performed so many of their older songs like my hyyh loyalist ass was screamin when they did i need u, run and dope. but no baepsae )’: that’s today’s set list )’: ahahahha but jk it was so good im ajskdhksj

okay first of all namjoon’s smile is... i just, i love it. when he smiles, it’s so contagious! and trivia: love is just so namjoon. he looks like he’s having so much fun when he performs it. oh and he was a count too early during the bst choreo and he was so embarrassed it was sooo cute ): also his ending ment was so sweet like i just wanna love him forever. he looks so handsome in person i just can’t stop thinking about it.

then mr jay... like hobi was born to be on stage, no question. monsieur hobi just knows how to work it. the way he grooves to the music is just smth else and then you know he goes hard during mic drop & tear but then in like answer: love myself he’s so sweet and soft and i just wanna smooch him. also he actually glows in person wow. he did his whole ending ment in english while rarely looking at the teleprompter and i will never not be impressed.

jimin has grey hair now and i love it so much omg. also this man and his duality is just... how is it allowed? watching him perform serendipity was an experience on its own. god, his lines and his form when he dances... i wants it. also his voice is so good live wow. it’s so so so good. i can’t believe he sometimes thinks his voice isn’t good enough or wtv. it’s. so. good. also he always does extra body rolls... not fair. and he’s so damn cute when he wants to be asdlashdsk

taehyung... just guau. he has brown hair again and idk taehyung just looks ethereal. seeing singularity live was just life altering or smth you know??? you could feel the emotion behind the song like his voice is so powerful and yet soothing and the choreo is to die for. also he’s such a goof when they perform anpanman and stuff and he kept trying to look at everyone and was the last one off the stage! mr kim taehyung radiates love and im here for that.

K I M  S E O K J I N is a king. he has the voice of an angel and man oh man is he handsome. so so handsome. he looks like he belongs in a movie when he’s performing epiphany. he nailed the high notes and his performance just took my breath away. oh and i love it when he goes ham during so what and starts dancing all crazy hahaha. also also him in truth untold... his vocals... his ability to project his voice is a big WOW.

yoongi... oh mr yoongo. wow seesaw in person was wow!!! he looked so in his element, so comfortable on stage and the choreo for the song??? the choreo! plus you know the benches! and his singing voice! i know people talk smack about his seesaw outfit but i actually really like it haha and he just looked so good in person. also in his ending ment he said: chicago... it’s the windy city right? but why is it so hot in here? skajhdskhdka 

jungkook my sweet baby boy (’: he looked so happy on stage and he just looked like he was genuinely having a good time. his voice sounds higher irl? i was pleasantly surprised haha. also i totally get what that lady on king of masked singer felt like when she heard jk sang bc i got goosies when he did those ad libs in truth untold. anyway he’s so handsome and his smile makes me want to astral project myself to a whole other universe. i love him sm )’:

anyway i love them even more now if that’s possible but also i think the concert was crazy good. like even if you weren’t a fan, it’d be a concert you can enjoy. it’s so high energy and then it gets all quiet for truth untold & epiphany and then all soft and fun loving hours for answer: love myself, so what and anpanman. it’s a crazily good paced concert... i don’t think i’ve ever seen anything like it. 

[m-feys]

ok heres one of my torchwood wips T-T bc im feeling smth, its about ianto and rhiannon in my ianto lives au

-

Ianto sat down across from her, he’d already taken off his coat and she’d already set a cuppa out for him. This was starting to become routine, and Ianto was beginning to feel intimidated by that fact. It’s more than they’ve ever had between them, more truth and more connection, he doesn’t know what to do with it.

After the 456 he’d vowed to himself to visit her more often, especially being sure to spend time with the kids. Mica was still consumed by the Xbox most afternoons when he entered, but when they went out to the movies, she would chatter on the way back about all her favorite parts, particularly the explosions, and David would threaten to steal her candy but would always give some of his to her instead and Ianto cherished it. He found that those times also made him painfully nostalgic for his own childhood, but it was a minor note in a bigger concert.

On his visits to see Rhiannon, she mostly did the talking. It wasn’t out of the ordinary for them. He gave comment where it was needed to keep her talking and listened as she gossiped about her friends and which of the neighbour’s kids kept climbing through the fence across the street.

And Rhiannon wasn’t subtle, she never, ever, had been. So when she asks about Torchwood it’s always, “Heard everybody was seeing these great, big halos the other night, that one of yours?” And when she tries to nudge him into mentioning Jack, it’s, “that boss of yours, he treatin’ you alright?” Ianto gets the feeling if he said that Jack had /not/ been treating him right she might have offered to beat his face for him. That idea makes him feel ridiculously fond.

“He’s treating me perfectly well, thank you,” he answers each time, she knows better than to think she’s getting more than that. Especially with Johnny sitting in the recliner behind them, mocking the enemies in Mica’s video game.

Johnny’s out today though, and even though he already knows, Ianto refuses to mention anything remotely informative about his life with the man in earshot. He doesn’t hate him, respects him a great deal more after the incident with 456, in fact, but the man is far too loud, about /everything/, for Ianto’s tastes.

Mica, who has her friend with two mums, is still situated on the couch when Rhiannon speaks.

“And how’s that man of yours?”

Ianto falters, because this is a break in the pattern.

“He’s fine…” he answers awkwardly, “he’s not… /mine/,” he points out reluctantly, heartbeat speeding up and cataloging the most logical excuses to leave at any given second.

“Really?” she asks, mouth curling up slightly, “you seein’ other people, then?”

Ianto shrugs, floundering like he always seems to when he’s trying to explain his current life to Rhiannon, to put it in terms she can cope with, ideas that aren’t too outrageous. “He said…” he starts slowly, letting out a breath through his nose, “he said he would stay,” he admits softly. It’s not much of his life, but it’s not nothing, not by a long shot. At least this is /true/.

Her eyebrows go up, lips parting in surprise, still smiling, almost edging into a grin now. “That’s big?”

Ianto doesn’t break his mask of neutrality, but he relaxes it just a bit, “yes,” he breathes.

“So it’s a bit like he /is/ your man, then?” she points out, wrinkling her nose with a smile, teasing.

He sighs, taking care to ensure he sounds supremely put-upon. “If you insist on calling him that, then /yes/.” Inwardly, he’s grinning like a git, hearing people refer to them in romantic terms always sends butterflies through Ianto’s stomach, and hearing it from his sister is making that feeling even more precious. He cares what she thinks of him, even if for a long time he wished he hadn’t.

“Well, seein’ as you haven’t even told me his name, I gotta call him something.”

Ianto hesitated, then he supposed that there couldn’t be any harm in just one name, it was a fairly common one, after all, that was by design on Jack’s part.

“Jack,” he allows.

“Jack,” she repeats, sounding the name out curiously, grinning all the while.

---

The question turns into, “well, how’s Jack?” from then on, and Ianto suddenly regrets everything. He’s crossed lines he can’t uncross and his /sister/ is referring to Jack by name, with the knowledge that he’s his boss, and also maybe his /man/, and all other sorts of euphemisms she could come up with to refer to them. /What/ had he been /thinking/?

“He’s fine,” is all he says. The fifth time after hearing that for an answer, Rhiannon demands more.

“You can’t just say that every time! C’mon, tell me something about him. Just something tiny,” she goads, “something you like about him.”

Ianto contemplates this question, all the multitudes of things he likes about Jack. The way he smells, that coat, his smile, his laugh, his hands, the way they can talk without talking, and the way they could also just talk to each other for hours on end. The way he sleeps, and how he mumbles sometimes as he dreams. How he talks low when they’re alone, just for Ianto. The way his hands always reach to cradle Ianto’s face when they kiss before touching elsewhere. How sometimes Jack is so harsh like the sea in a storm and sometimes he’s as gentle as summer waves lapping at the beach.

Ianto blinks away from these thoughts, focusing back in on the moment. /Everything/, he wants to say. Which is completely ridiculous, and terribly cliche, and not even /remotely/ true, considering how many things about Jack piss him off so acutely.

“He’s funny,” he settles on, because Jack is. He’s a people pleaser, a charmer. “You’d like him,” he adds mildly. Because Ianto is sure Jack could get on Rhiannon’s good side without even blinking.

“You should let me meet him, then,” she responds to that, looking a bit too proud of herself for reaching this point.

“Absolutely not,” he denies instantly, frowning at her. She glares in return.

“Why not?”

Ianto flattens his mouth in displeasure, “we’re not really in the ‘meeting-the-family’ stage of the relationship,” he tells her, he does not imagine they’ll ever be. Considering he learned about Jack’s daughter because of a hostage situation and every other family member he has is either dead, 3000 years in the future, or cryogenically frozen after irrationally blaming Jack for everything that happened to him.

“Have you told him you’ve been coming to see me?” she questions. He stares at her for a moment, bewildered about what she thinks she’s going to gain from this.

“Yes,” he answers, still uncomprehending, “why?”

“Well, will he think you’re hiding him away from me?” she asks him boldly.

Ianto can’t help but roll his eyes, “Rhiannon, we’re not like that, I’ve said.”

She huffs a sigh in frustration, “Ianto, you don’t tell me anything about all your alien business or the guy you're dating-- who’s also your boss! And it doesn’t seem like there's much to ask about otherwise! It’s like I’m talking to a brick wall!”

“Brick wall might be a bit reliable,” he snarks, the words are brittle in his mouth.

She deflates, “just tell me something,” she pleaded, “I wanna be a part of your life, I don’t just wanna sit here all day telling you ‘bout how Bridget’s cookies were burnt and how we had to replace the dryer after Mica’s ‘science experiment.’ I want to hear from you too!” She exclaimed.

He softened at the words, not able to help his smile at the mention of Mica’s latest explosion. “You are a part of my life,” he assured her, “and I like hearing about that stuff,” he adds with a lift of his shoulder.

She softens too then, giving him a wry smile, “something small?” she requests.

He thinks this over, then, “we caught an acid spitting alien and it melted through all our cells until we realized we should just freeze it.”

The look on her face is priceless, her mouth dropping open in disbelief before barking out a startled laugh. “how big was it?” she asked, raising her brows.

“Not very,” he said, “but it was a nasty little bugger.”

She looked at him, grinning pleased, “anything else you wanna tell me?”

He thought it over, then sighed heavily, “I’ll ask Jack,” he allowed.

Her brows shot up.

“I’m not promising anything,” he tacked on instantly, “he’s probably going to say no, and when I come back and tell you he said no, you leave it at that, alright?” He told her firmly, voice kept low, though still, Mica was the only one in the room. A strange little fly on the wall who he could never quite sense if she was listening or not.

“Alright, alright, I promise,” she agreed, but still, she looked so happy. It would be worth it, he supposed.

“My sister keeps asking after you,” Ianto mentions off-handedly when they’re working idly, Martha is out of earshot and Gwen and Tosh were off setting up scanners around the area of a predicted rift spike. Jack was leaning against his desk flipping through a stack of files when he glanced up.

“Oh?” he started, brows raised and setting aside the files, easily interested when he was the subject of conversation, “what do you tell her about me?” he questioned, his cheek dimpling as he started to smile, “all good things, I hope.”

“I told her you’re funny,” Ianto said, glancing over at him too, still perched on his desk but looking only at Ianto now.

Jack gives him a haughty look, “so, /that’s/ what I’m known for?” he questions, mock-offended but he still smirks at Ianto while he waits for an answer.

“You could be a stand-up comedian,” he suggests dryly.

“We’d have to be a two person show, you’d be my straight-man,” he says grinning, acknowledging their chemistry.

“I’m afraid I may not fit the bill,” Ianto counters flatly and Jack cackles, pushing off the desk now, to approach him.

“Damn,” he curses mildly once he reaches Ianto, shaking his head in faux-disappointment at their lack of compatibility as a comic duo. “Say anything else about me?” he prompts helpfully as he stands just a little too close to Ianto’s side.

Ianto hesitates, licking his lips, “she asked about meeting you,” he admits.

“Really?” Jack said. Ianto couldn’t quite look at him, so he diverged his eyes to the words on the screen, not reading any of them as he scrolled a little further.

“Yes…” he says slowly, trying to look distracted and not at all like he’s sweating, “she’s very insistent, but I already told her it wasn’t--”

“When?” Jack asks, then.

“-- in the cards, I mean, we…” he froze, turning his head now to gape at Jack, “/what/?” he asked sharply.

“When would she wanna meet me?” Jack asked cooly, raising one eyebrow at Ianto’s current expression. He snapped his jaw shut, still staring at Jack, brows pulled low as he studied his face.

“... You’d meet her?” Ianto asked slowly, still looking him over.

“If you let me,” Jack supplied easily, crossing his arms over his chest as he watched Ianto evenly.

He narrowed his eyes at him wondering if somehow this was some strange trick. “You’re /willing/ to meet my sister? As my, um--” He struggled to find the right word.

“Boyfriend?” Jack suggested, teasing sharply.

“I don’t /know/ what to call us,” Ianto countered, staring him down, even as heat rose in his cheeks.

“What do you /want/ us to be called?” Jack challenged him, raising a brow.

‘/Boyfriends/,’ Ianto’s mind instantly supplied but he kept his mouth shut as he watched Jack, trying to puzzle him out.

“I thought you wouldn’t want to meet them…?” he asked him and Jack raised both his eyebrows now.

“Ianto, /you/ were the one who didn’t want me near them and I was respecting that,” Jack pointed out, looking serious now.

“I didn’t--” Ianto started to deny, but then realized Jack was right, for a very long time, Ianto never mentioned a word about them and never wanted anything remotely to do with Torchwood anywhere near the last of his family, /Jack especially/. He pressed his lips together and Jack raised his brows pointedly, mouth pinched.

Ianto glared at him then, “well, what about you?” he asked sharply, “you hate us even being considered a couple and now you’re suddenly fine with meeting my family-- who-- I might remind you, is under that assumption about us. Sorry about that,” Ianto tacks on sarcastically, not intending to sound as bitter about it as he does.

“I never said I hated people thinking we were a couple!” Jack looked taken aback by the assertion.

“Yes you did,” Ianto countered, voice rising, suddenly angry that Jack seemed to think he was the one who was coming out of nowhere with this, “you /told me/ you hated that word!”

“Yes, I /hate/ that /word/,” Jack threw his hands up, experated, “I think it’s stupid and small-minded to refer to a pair of people like they’re one thing! But, Ianto-- by all earth definitions-- /yes/ we do fit under that umbrella. I don’t /care/ if people think of us as a ‘couple!’”

Ianto stared at him, reeling at the confession and trying to ground himself, “what, um, what do /you/ think of us as, then?” he asked cautiously.

Jack stared at him, swallowing, “Partners?” he suggested softly.

“/Partners/?” Ianto repeated in disbelief.

Jack nodded stiffly, squinting at him. “But you don’t seem thrilled with that.”

Ianto was quick to shake his head, “no. Partners, that’s fine, I’m good with partners,” he rushed the words out, not wanting to give Jack time to realize his mistake and take any of this back.

But Jack’s brows creased in concern, “if you have a word you prefer…?” Jack prompted him, raising his eyebrows now in anticipation, surely already knowing what Ianto wanted to say and waiting for him to admit it.

Ianto studied him for a moment. It wasn’t that he didn’t like the word /partners/; it was succinct, simple, made sense in so many situations, and didn’t sound quite as silly as ‘boyfriends’. He could easily see why Jack had chosen it, it was the logical option. But there was something too clinical about it for Ianto’s tastes, something that skipped past the way Ianto would wake up too warm with Jack wrapped around him. That term missed out on the simple truths for Ianto, like how he and Jack had an unfinished puzzle sitting on his coffee table, waiting for them in spare moments when they sat down to talk. Or how Jack knew exactly how to fluster Ianto without fail and Ianto could snark back just as easily. Or how these days he knew exactly how to find his way through Jack’s bunker without needing the light and Jack no longer needed to ask where anything was kept in the kitchen of his flat, both of them perfectly familiar with the other’s spaces. It was all the little intimate things they had become that Ianto never ever wanted to skip over, that got brushed past by that word.

“Boyfriend?” Ianto answered hopefully, heart pounding too loudly in his chest.

“Then we’re boyfriends,” Jack agreed, before dropping a hand to Ianto’s shoulder and drawing him into a hug. Ianto returned it, letting out a breath.

“I think we made that harder than it had to be,” Jack sighed next to his ear.

“Just a bit,” Ianto agreed, mouth pressed into his shoulder, still a little shocked it had been just that easy.

Stepping away, Jack was quick to smile at him again, “alright, back to work,” he chided teasingly, wagging a finger at him and turned to stride back towards his office. He paused though as he reached the door.

“And let me know when I’m going to meet Rhiannon, I want to look my best,” Jack told him, grinning widely.

As happy as Ianto was that Jack was so clearly, explicitly, completely unequivocally willing to commit to him, Jack and Rhiannon actually meeting wasn’t a real possibility he’d considered until just now.

“Oh, god,” he murmured in horror, turning away from Jack laughing at him.

Which is how he ended up standing at the door to his sister’s house, with Jack at his side, steeling himself to knock.

“Want me to ring the doorbell?” Jack offered unhelpfully beside him.

“Doesn’t work,” Ianto responded instantly.

“/Soooo/, are we just gonna stare at the door, then? Until it falls off the hinges… or?” Jack whispered, teasing him.

“I’m /going/ to knock,” Ianto told him firmly, before glancing over at Jack. Despite what he’d said about looking his best, he was wearing what he always wore. A blue button-up, slacks and his signature coat. With a black vest added to the ensemble, he /occasionally/ branched out in his fashion choices.

“Be on your best behavior,” Ianto instructed him sternly, catching his eye and Jack just grinned at him.

“Aren’t I always?”

Ianto let out a drawn-out sigh.

“I can go sit in the car if you want,” Jack suggested then, voice wry. “You can just crack the window for me so I won’t die from heatstroke.”

Ianto’s lips twitched at that, “I hate that we have the same sense of humor,” he muttered, smirking.

“Good thing you told her I was so /funny/, then,” Jack responded sarcastically.

Ianto knocked, without further preamble, cutting off any more banter Jack could spout, which was an infinite amount, because he was /Jack/.

A moment later, Rhiannon was opening the door, beaming at them.

“Come in, come in,” she spoke, stepping back and waving both of them inside, Jack smiled back at her charmingly all the while.

The only conditions Ianto had agreed to their meeting was it being between solely Rhiannon, Jack and himself. They could have gone out to meet somewhere, but it had been decided, by Rhiannon, that they would be more comfortable in her house. Ianto suspected she also wanted to give him less room to evade her.

The only time the kids and Johnny were all out of the house was on a weekday, but so long as the rift wasn’t predicted to get out of hand, he and Jack could find free-time on any day of the week, just as well as a weekend. Better even, cause none of the others tended to have plans.

“You /and/ your boss can get off in the middle of the week?” She sounded doubtful.

“This job isn’t exactly nine-to-five,” Ianto responded, “we’ll leave if we get called in.”

“You’d better not get called in,” she warned him and he couldn’t help but snort in response.

Now as he stepped out of the entryway and stared at the completely rearranged living room he couldn’t help but sort of wish Mica were there playing games as always, it was strangely disconcerting with her gone. The couch was pushed forward, bean bag chairs were nowhere in sight, but probably fit to burst from being stuffed in the hallway closet. In front of the couch was the coffee table, which had long since been pushed against the wall after David fell onto it when he and Mica were running through the house and cracked the glass with his head. His head had been fine, thankfully. And at an off angle to the couch was Johnny’s recliner, all situated so they could comfortably look at one another while they talked.

Ianto was starting to regret that he hadn’t just lied, telling Rhiannon instead that Jack said no, but they were here now, no turning back.

“Tea for you?” she asked, lifting the electric kettle and already pouring water for herself and Ianto as she always did, but now there was a third cup to join theirs.

“You got any coffee?” Jack answered and Rhiannon looked up at him in surprise when he spoke. The accent, Ianto realized, must have caught her off guard.

“Sorry, no,” she smiled apologetically with a shake of her head, recovering well enough.

“Tea’s good then,” Jack agreed with an ever-pleasant smile.

“Ianto didn’t mention you were American?” she said curiously, staring at Jack while Ianto reached for all of their teacups to move them to the coffee table.

“I’m sure there’s plenty Ianto didn’t mention about me,” Jack replied easily, “he’s quiet, this one.”

Rhiannon laughed, and Ianto was sure to give Jack a withering look as soon as he caught his eye, which was received with a demure smile.

She ushered them to the couch then and settled into the recliner herself, squishing into the worn cushions. Jack looked perfectly at ease next to him while Ianto was stiff as a board. It was sort of funny, considering he wasn’t the one in an unfamiliar house meeting his partner’s family for the first time.

“Captain Jack Harkness,” he introduced himself, and shook her hand before taking his seat, “pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Davies.”

She stared at him for a moment with eyes pulled wide, grinning wildly. “Oh please, call me, Rhiannon,” she corrected him.

“Call me Jack,” he said, grinning in kind.

“So, tell me about yourself, then,” Rhiannon invited him, smiling winningly.

“Well, I think Ianto’s mentioned that we work together,” Jack began.

“Said you’re his boss,” Rhiannon agreed, “how much older are you, exactly?” She wondered, eyes narrowing sharply.

Jack didn’t look at all perturbed by the question, just opened his mouth to answer, but Ianto spoke first, “he’s in his thirties,” he supplied.

“Thirty-six,” Jack agreed, not missing a beat. Ten-year age difference, it was accurate /physically/, at least.

“How’d you two come about then, after working together?”

Jack glanced at him, smiling easily. He was letting Ianto take the lead here, he realized, and he would follow up to however much or little Ianto wanted to tell her.

“It was…” Ianto started to speak, “I came back to Cardiff for work, when I met Jack,” he said carefully.

“Transferred facilities and came to work under me instead,” Jack looked at him again, smiling affectionately, “and I’m grateful he did.” Ianto really was losing track of exactly how much of this was a show Jack was putting on for her, but he’d still managed to slip a double entendre in there.

“Was it hard?” she asked curiously, “being the first man Ianto was with?” It was a bold question, a bit tactless, but Jack wasn’t one to shy away from these topics, and neither was Rhiannon, clearly.

Jack glanced at him. He knew it was a blatant lie on Ianto’s part, that Jack was the only man he’d been with, but Ianto knew he wouldn’t say anything. It was just easier, telling Rhiannon the things she would prefer to hear than actually trying to explain himself to her.

“Not at all,” Jack answered, looking at his sister again, smiling warmly, “I know how to take things slow.”

Ianto rolled his eyes /hard/ at that. Completely ridiculous.

“Ianto, ‘ave you got something to add?” Rhiannon wondered sharply, and of course, then of all moments she had to be watching him.

He gave her a sardonic smile, “nothing at all, Rhi. It’s just funny! Why Jack just might just be the most /polite/ man you’ll ever meet,” he said, his sarcasm was impossible to miss.

“You told me /‘best behavior,’/” Jack hissed at him.

“Well, you sound completely ridiculous,” he pointed out in return.

“I’m just going off what /you/ said! What /exactly/ would you like me to tell her, Ianto?” He invited him sharply.

He frowned, glancing from Jack staring at him intently to Rhiannon watching them with a confused smile pulling at her mouth. At least she didn’t seem as mortified as Ianto was feeling right at this moment.

He crossed his arms and faced his sister, looking her dead in the eye.

“Jack is the strangest man I’ve ever met, and he’s not polite at all, he makes lewd jokes and chews with his mouth open. If you’re going to meet him, I at least want you to /actually/ meet him,” he says, sighing with finality and knowing his face has gone completely red.

“Well, there you go,” Jack agrees with a sweeping gesture, an amused smile playing on his lips.

Ianto has realized as comfortable as it is to lie to her about this, he wants her approval, and that really means nothing if he’s not at least a little bit honest. He’s been trying to be that with Rhiannon for a while now, but he didn’t know how to explain that to Jack.

But Rhiannon was laughing then, giggling, really. “Well, the only other things you told me ‘bout him were that he’s handsome and funny, so I think maybe I’m starting to get something outta you, for once,” she looks happy now smiling at Ianto and he tries to smile back.

“So, I’m /also/ known for being handsome, then?” Jack intercuts, his voice turning sly.

Ianto turns a flat look on him, resolutely ignoring the way his face is still flushed, “I was only confirming the rumors.”

“And who exactly was starting rumors about how handsome I am?”

“/Her/ nosey friends who don’t know how to mind their own business,” Ianto shot back.

“Oi!” Rhiannon objected. Ianto turned his deadpan stare on her instead now, inviting her to argue with his statement. They both knew he was right.

“Not like I ever would have heard about this from you,” she argued back, gesturing towards him.

Ianto scowled at her, before scrubbing a hand down his face, “I don’t know, Rhi, maybe, maybe if you’d given me time I could’ve explained it better,” he said, giving her a pained look now.

“Well, how would you explain it now, if you told me?” she asked insistently.

He froze up at that, his eyes strayed to Jack then, who was simply watching him calmly, a solid presence by his side. He looked back towards her then, swallowing thickly.

“I... fell in love with a man, Rhi,” he admitted slowly, and it wasn’t something he hadn’t said to Jack already, but telling her so plainly should be completely unimaginable, yet here he was, doing just that. “As much as you might doubt it, I do /actually/ care how you think of me.”

Her brows drew up in concern, “that would never change how I think of you,” she said, and she sounded so earnest.

“Rhiannon,” he sighed, smiling sadly now, “it /always/ changes how people think of you.”

She stared at him for a long moment, looking like she couldn’t comprehend what he was telling her. “You’re my /brother/ Ianto, nothing will change that.”

“What about Johnny?” he countered sharply, “do talk about me with him? What does he say, I wonder?”

She glared at him furiously at those words, “Johnny doesn’t hate you, Ianto! He likes you just as well as he always has,” she objected.

“It’s not just about /hating/ people, Rhiannon. It’s about all those little things. About how /strange/ it is, and how you’re just now thinking I’ve always been a little too over-emotional, that I cried just too much, or that I was always too /weak/,” he bit out the word. “I can’t /stand/ it. If you just hated me Rhiannon, it’d be easier,” he said, the truths just pouring out of him now as he stared her down, “Then I wouldn’t have to be here right now.”

Her face had gone slack with surprise and Jack wasn’t watching him anymore, only staring cooly out into the room, looking completely unfazed.

Ianto’s heart was racing like he’d just run a marathon and he waited. Waited for her to say something.

“If you don’t want to come ‘round, Ianto, all you had to do was say,” she spoke finally, her voice was soft and filled with solemn resolve. He wanted to tear his hair out in frustration.

“I /do/ want to be around you, Rhiannon,” he rushed to correct her, “but I’m just,” he floundered for the words looking for the right thing to say.

He took a shaky breath and when he glanced at Jack, this time the man was looking at him with that steady gaze, expectant.

“I’m just /scared/,” he admitted finally and the corners of Jack’s lips lifted ever so slightly for him, a small comfort just for Ianto to see. He looked back at Rhiannon, meeting her gaze.

“Well, you don’t have to be,” She suggested quietly.

He let out a breath, lowering his eyes again. In a way, she was right, but she still didn’t understand. She never would, not really.

“Well,” Jack broke the moment suddenly, “I’m just glad I was here to serve as a catalyst for this heartwarming breakthrough between brother and sister,” he spoke, smirking between them. Though Ianto got the sense Jack knew he was saving Ianto from having to come up with another answer to Rhiannon’s assurances.

Rhiannon gave the man a wide-eyed look, a confused grin pulling at her lips now, she shot Ianto a questioning look.

“Yes,” he answered, being sure to sound spectacularly put-upon as he said it, though in truth he just felt ridiculously fond, “he’s always like this.”

“And he /loves/ me for it, you heard the man,” Jack teased.

Rhiannon laughed and Ianto let himself relax, just for a moment.

[onlyjihoons]

Boyfriend!Renjun

Request:  @his-ghoulfriend: can i req a boyfriend renjun pls?? thanks i loved your other versions!

helLo thank you so much for requesting and i’m super sorry this took so so so long as well!?!?!?? i hope this is good and i hope you enjoy it ❤

alright

i got a feeling that renjun w climb up my bias list after this

ok lets start

so how ya’ll met:

renjun was your mom’s friend-friend-friend-friend's son

and during chinese new year he came to visit your house

and wOaH hold on honey

this boy

is super cute

yet gives off a super model like vibe???

and ok you took the initiative to talk to him like

“hi i’m y/n! nice to meet you :)))))))”

and he SMILES with HIS TEETH

so cute

“i’m renjun, nice to meet you, y/n!”

and like 

you were like

swallowed by his visuals like HOW cAN SOMEONE BE CUHOT

in case you don’t know what cuhot means,,

it means cute+hot

i invented it

you’re welcome

ok back to the meeting

you and renjun hit on instantly bc 

1. you guys were about the same age

2.bc there were zero to no teenagers in your house except you guys

3. you guys had a crush on each other(!!!!)

and ya’ll kept talking and talking for god knows how long

and it was dinner time

so your mom invited his mom to eat huoguo(hotpot)

ngl renjun was super excited bc he LOVES hotpot

you loved it too but there was one drawback:

you don’t take spicy food

bc spicy food triggers the gastric juices in your stomach pretty badly

and every damn time you eat something spicy by accident

your tongue is on fire

FIREEEEEE OH EH OHHH

so yeah:(

when you guys tuck in to the food, renjun notices that you were way quieter than b4

when you were trying to flirt w him cough

and he grew worried so he asked why you aren’t eating much

and you said you couldn’t take spicy food

and his face FELL

and was super sad on your behalf

explaining how much good food you’ve missed

and like he even offered his non-spicy portion of food to you

to ensure that you’re well fed despite the spicy yet appetising food on the table

and your mom saw that and was like

huang renjun is my son-in-law ya’ll *sniffs*

ok and at the end of the meal when they left your mom pulls you aside like

“what do you think about that renjun boy?”

and honestly every time your mom tries to match-make you w other boys theyre gross af

but renjun is an exception so

“uhm he’s pretty nice,why?”

and your mom sHrIeKs

“OMG DAUGHTER LET’S GET YA’LL MARRIED”

i might have went a bit too far there but oh well

so earlier on ya’ll exchange numbers and when you’re about to go to bed renjun texts you

“are you sleeping?”

“i was about to though”

“omg im so sorry go sleep!”

“nah its alright omg”

“did your mom say anything about me when we left?”

and you were like oUH 

and panicky

bc renjun could see if you had read his message on kakaotalk

and you kept thinking

“y/n?”

“she said she wanted us to get married”

aND YOUR FINGER SPASMED AND PRESSED SEND

rip

you rn:

“oMG omg OMG NONONONONONONOO”

but that was all in your head and praying renjun won’t judge u

ok irl renjun was bLUSHIING

bc he lowkey or highkey likes you 

and his mom complimented how pretty you were 

so he’s actually pleasantly surprised

“ahaha oh my your mom has wild aspirations”

and you heave a sigh of relief

“yeah she does”

fastforward 102947383 texts later

you guys are bestest friends

and surprise surprise ya’ll attend the same school as well??

its basically some bombass performing arts school

and you’re a dance major while renjun is a theatre major

idk which major singing was under so i put theatre

and there was one day your school had this project where dance majors and theatre majors would collaborate

like in pairs

you know where this is going right

you and renjun pair up ofc

and since renjun was decently good at dancing

yes this move ya’ll dancing genius im chenle 10/10

ya’ll decided to do a dance x theatre combi

of romeo and juliet

oH ahem

and like at first its all those uhm

therefore arteu romeo thingy

i don’t take literature forgive me

then it changes in to uhm

idk what song is this but something upbeat alrite:

smth like this

yoojung lee is my fave choreographer ok

yo and ya’ll blasted the showcase?!?!?!?!?

everyone was cheering

including teachers

and renjun hugged you(!!!!!)

and everyone went from

YASSSS SLAY

to

AWH OMG SO CUTE

and like 

there were some sm scouting people there

and they saw renjun performing and singing

so they scouted him

and ngl you were so sad renjun was leaving china for his career and stuff

you contemplated wheter to audition for sm or smth

and he’s like

“i will visit you every month if there’s a break!!”

and at this point you were heavily infatuated w renjun

so you took the dive 

“renjun”

“hmm?”

“i have been keeping this to myself for so long, and i like you”

renjun just stared at you like the world has fallen

and you panicked

“ah ah its alright uhm its just me, hahah, stupid feelings-”

that’s when renjun dragged you to a quieter area, like the store room of the school’s dance studio

and clumsy y/n lost her balance,,

gif:

and

“in case you didn’t know already, i like you too y/n”

and then

uk what happens

the kiss of fate happens

not going into detail bc its just an innocent kiss ok

that was when ya’ll confessed to each other

rn 

renjun at first may come off as dense

but he’s actually super clingy and cute

but not too clingy most of the time 

most of the time

you’re studying in korea

while renjun focuses on practicing and his korean

ok can we just talk about his korean?!!? its so good and its almost on par w the korean members like it seemed like he has lived in korea for his whole life ok i shall stop

and you attend SOPA but its all good bc you are fluent in English too so language isn’t that much of a problem in school

but outside it’s a challenge cause not everyone speaks english or chinese

so you had to turn to the person closest to you

renjun

he would patiently explain to you what the sentences/phrases mean

and also encourage you when you make mistakes

and you improved your korean yay

and ya’ll go out on dates

i can prolly imagine those

ulzzang couple-ish vibe coming out

like renjun will sneak taeyong’s polariod camera in your bag

so ya’ll can take pictures of each other!!

bc like the memories are somewhat physical you know

like the actual picture

and when ya’ll go on dates renjun has a mask on

and you have a mask on too so he won’t feel lonely

but the challenge is 

if he wants to kiss you its virtually impossible

bc you have masks on

and he can’t let dispatch catch ya’ll

so one day ya’ll were at hangang park eating ramyeon

and you took of your mask

then renjun took off his as well

and when you ewre about to tuck in he kissed you

and you were shookt bc he wasnt the type to show affection so openly

“what are you doing?!?!?!?!”

“i’ve been wanting to do that for so long, baobei”

i m  w e a k

renjun doesn’t attend school in korea unfortunately(as far as i know)

but that doesn’t stop him from waiting outside school for you

ngl when he sees mark or jeno or jaemin or donghyuck

he gotta dashi run run run

bc they would suspect him

unless they arranged for an outing or smth after school

anyhow on one day they weren’t needed in school

but renjun said he had to go out to run some errands

but like mark left his textbook in school so he had to take it back for revision

so he was on his way to school like normal

and he sees renjun?!?

so he kind snoops at what renjun was doing

finds out that renjun is waiting outside SOPA

and agent mark 0208 whips out his phone, preparing to expose renjun when he goes back

but when he was about to press the capture button he sees you running towards renjun

and ya’ll:

renjun was like 

“baobeiiiiiiiiii i missed you so much i can’t omg”

and you’re like

“huang renjun,, pls,, let,, go,, we’re,, in,, public,,,,”

agent mark 0208 was shookt

shookt

he clears his throat uncomfortably, making ya’ll push each other away

a little too forcefully

“renjun? you’re running an errand at my school?”

“no hyung, i just came to see my cousin.”

lies, renjun, lies

“oh really? i don’t know how close ya’ll are to call her baobei, and as far as i know, baobei means babe in chinese,, right??!?!1!11!!!”

oUh

silence

in the end mark just sighs and said

“just don’t get caught, okay?”

he just smiles and walk away, probably shipping ya’ll so hard 

“who’s that?”

“its mark hyung, he’s the leader of our group.”

“are we gonna get caught?”

honestly you were super worried bc it could endanger renjun’s career and sour his ties with the company

and he cups your face like:

“baobei, no matter what happens i will always be with you, and i know i’m being selfish but i love you so much, nothing can break us apart.”

that was enough to assure you for the rest of your life for the rest of the day

thank you for reading omg

i really hope ya’ll enjoy this:-)

sidenote i have 2 drabble requests sitting in my inbox for god knows how long

but after i complete those my inbox will be empty again:(

i apologise if i do your request late as i have homework and it takes time to plan and write out the request

but still

request bc i love writing hehe

ok i love ya’ll good day/night💘

[0225pm]

good morning! it's currently 9:18AM and i'm so damn beat i want to ko already but i'm pooping rn hence i've decided to post something!!!! soOoOoo because i'm an overly attached gf who needs attention like 24/7 i actually went down all the way to han's place because i missed him hahahahahaha like, initially i was contemplating about it because....... 1, i was afraid that he might have fallen asleep 2, he might not be able to leave the house at such timing 3, he might get mad at me for troubling myself before traveling to his place, dayah wanted to meet up after her shift ended for supper and since i haven't really had anything for dinner i thought it was a good idea to fill my tummy first. so i met her at our usual haunt (the mcds near our place) and asked her for some advice about whether i should go over to his place or not. she was rather against it since it was already really late (about 12ish by the time we reached mcds) and even if we're to uber or grab down it will be really really late and she was kinda worried about my wellbeing since his area is rather quiet with little to zero human traffic at such a late timing unlike our area - we have quite a fair bit of shops that are open 24/7. she also said i must be so obsessed with han to the point that i'm willing to travel all the way there so late which tbh is true la hahaha honestly i don't mind traveling anywhere he is, except maybe if i have to buy a plane ticket or smth la bc your girl is broke (；▽；) but anyway i ended up saying fuck it and just decided to go je because i'm gonna make "go je" one of my life mottos now (half kidding about this bc i'm still a coward and i'm forever thinking about the "what ifs"). and booked an uber around 1:45AM almost 2 i guess!! it was considerably cheap!!!! like $9 for the ride after discount. and wah u know how hard it was to try and surprise han HAHAHAHA i was trying to lie my way through to not make him suspicious of me by asking him to play ml together (another tactic to keep him busy so he won't fall asleep!) and then he got a lil mad bc i kept asking him to wait and wait so he played like i think 3 rounds of brawl while waiting for me to come online hahahaha but hoho little did he know!!! during the last round i told him to lemme know when his game was ending and when he finally texted me, i immediately called him and then asked him if he can come out. i'm not sure if he was taken aback bc he said no at first so i asked if his parents were asleep already and he said no LMAO i was soOo shocked but i didn't rly feel disappointed bc i know that was one of the possibility of him not being able leave the house and i actually brought along some things to keep me busy while i wait (my drawing stuff and a book i'm currently reading). then he asked me come out where? if go out he won't able to so i told him to just come down then cus i'm here and he was like "ok u wait there" AND TADA!!!!! my surprise visit was a success???!?!!!?! he asked me what i was doing there while grabbing me into a tight embrace hehehehe he looked genuinely happy and i'm happy too!!!!! he even brushed his teeth (i could smell the mint) before he left the house so that his "breath won't stink" quoted bc that's what he said hahaha lmao so cute rly!!! oh how i've missed him :') 3-4 days felt so longgGgGgg uGhhH and then we walked towards 7-11 cus i told him my breath prolly stinks since i just had macs so i wanted to get some candies to mask the grossness of the spicy nuggets i had hahahaha but he wasn't even bothered and leaned in for a kiss haisSSssssSss i spent a fortune (ok not rly) at 7-11 man like from just wanting to get candies, i ended up getting all sorts of things - a drink, ice cream, an onigiri. the amount u pay for convenience sake :') and then we decide to sit around mccafe and played a round of ml which we lost bc he didn't realised that his data was all out *rolls eyes* HAHAHAHA and then bc we were trying to conserve both our phones battery lives, we decided to stop playing and that was when i could really look at his face sighHh idk how he can look so good all the time wtf meanwhile i look like a kentang (this is true i have gained the weight i lost hahahha but good la this shows that i'm happy right) and then he went on and said "now dunno what to do right cus cannot play ml alr" and i was like nahHhh it's fine and then he looked at me and went all "is it you bored?" and i shook my head hahahah yallllllll idk about him but i don't think there will ever be a time that i will feel bored just looking at his face and basking his in presence sia like i can't get enough hahaha and then he took my phone and went through my camera roll of junk (i have 12k over photos) so i asked him for the password to his phone and he just went like this ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (damn taik rly) so i kept asking again and again and he just ¯\_(ツ)_/¯!!!! and finally said "theres some past stuff i haven't deleted yet not bc i want to keep them for memories but bc i'm lazy and idw u to see them there since it's not deleted" and i was like???? why?????? didn't u delete them???? then????? then he wanted to unlock his phone for me to let me see but i was like nah u kno what i'm not gonna get my feelings hurt bc maybe there are intimate photos inside too so i rather not look at them and he was like "no there's no intimate photos la" but it was like it's ok!!! :) and then i snatched my phone back from him since i felt like it was kinda unfair that he could see all the photos i have with no secrecy. but then he took his phone and went on a "deletion mode" clearing unwanted photos in his phone while showing me photos he had of me in his gallery!!!! i looked so!!! cute wtf HAHAHAHA like there was a few photos where i actually think i look quite cute and which i've never seen before bc he didn't send it to me wah damn selfish keep for himself HAHAHA JKJK but ya most of them were during my blonde/silver hair days tho sighhhh i rly miss having light colored hair tbvvvvh :( and then he gave me the password to his phone!!!!! wowowoow i never knew that such a day would come (no i'm not being loyar buruk ok hahahaahah) and gave me the freedom to look through his phone (but i never did actually hahaahha bc i was busy scrolling thru my 12k worth of photos instead wth i missed my chance!!!!) even when he went outside for a smoke and left his phone with me i didn't even look through his gallery wth so dumb i could have sent the photos to myself!! but ok ya then i wanted to pee so i asked him to accompany me (bc the toilet is the one at the food court and even though it's relatively clean, the atmosphere was still quiet since it was only around 4+AM in the morning). then we walked back to his place and sat at the void deck - he told me stories about his encik at the station and showed me a few diss track videos between some youtubers and this one really cool short stories videos of which i've forgotten the name of, i will have to ask him later!! and then around 630-7AM i decided to leave the place and instead of taking grab or uber back home i insisted on taking the train and bus bc i wanted to listen to an updated playlist of music that i had synced earlier on BUT LOL WTF apparently ZERO music got synced into the phone and my journey was kinda half shitty bc i thought that i can finally listen to some new tracks but i ended up just listening to the 200+ old music in my phone. not that they're bad music but it has been about 3 months since i last updated my playlist so i've been listening to the same old tracks for quite some time already. but anyway!!!! i still had a great time bc at least i managed to see han today ^^ i guess it's something to get me through the rest of the day and till tomorrow's shift. ok this took like rly long to write and i'm actually done pooping. time check: 10:09AM!! i'm gonna shower and remove my makeup before hitting the hay!

[transrightsjimin]

was on the phone w my parents for 1 hour and almost 40 minutes today and on the one hand i think it was good to keep each other up to date on stuff and give them that social interaction they rly crave, but on the other hand i feel so fucking weird abt not saying anything when my mom talked abt having done smth very racist + pro-cop nd i was just so shocked and saddened but also didnt know what to say??

like she is in one of those neighbourhood whatsapp group chats ('buurtpreventie apps') (which are unfortunately rly popular in recent years), in which people from a certain street or flat contact each other to keep an eye on each other aka use it to report random black or arab people to the cops. which she did when two men were in her flat to collect money for charity nd apparently it was a scam bc the permit wasnt for that specific charity that week but just. my mom talking abt how she snitched on them nd the rest of the flat of even older people encouraging that, nd worst of all my mom going 'kijk dit klinkt vast een beetje racistisch maar het waren twee donkere mannen dus we dachten dat dat dezelfde waren als de oplichters waar we over hoorden' HELLO??? 🤢 like i had to say smth but then i fucking didnt bc i was just so weirded out and know how threatening my mom gets when shes criticized. like i just dont know how to get some sense or compassion into her head bc she's blocking it all. she used to be a socialist who even supported anarchists and protest state violence and now she's just.... vaguely in agreement w criticism of class structures but as soon as it's about strictness if tax authorities to the poor, or about racism, her support stops and ppl are criminal to her. it's so tiresome. so im frustrated i didnt say anything but then DID talk the ears if my dad's face by trying to explain where mask skepticism came from nd how the govt and conspiracy theorists were to blame for this and why they do this (money), but i was rambling too much prob nd my dad just doesnt follow anything bc old nd adhd nd former alcoholic (he also didnt understand what memes r which i realized too late after trying to tell him mama sent me a 13 page pdf w bad memes) nd so eventually he noted 'but please don't eh get into the opposite side of these conspiracy theories, believing in other ones' nd im just 🤦‍♂️ i prob sounded fuckingrly incomprehensible nd extreme to him??

he also asked me what i thought of the sylvana simons interview in the interview he gifted me nd i said i liked it but was side eyeing some repeated, rethorical questions she was asked abt 'extremist muslims!!'. he seemed more positive abt BIJ1 / sylvana than my mom who completely discredits them just solely based on the racist general public's treatment of her, whereas my dad seemed kind of curious but also tone policed how sylvana should have not sounded this angry and how he found it strange she kept bringing up 'minorities' and *very confused* ' l.. g... b...t ... q .. uhh'. which is still somehow better than my mom who immediately discredited her political party based on nonsense racists spout for years so i guess the bar is on the ground

nd ALSO me telling my dad contact w my mom is difficult was met w him relativating it by saying my mom is in severe pain bc chronic pains nd illnesses nd even worse lately, shes on her way to become deaf (p much is on one ear nd the other almost) nd was too stubborn to get a hearing aid (but then was more willing to in the end). but anyway his argument is not to be so harsh at mama for being so snappy bc shes in pain nd has bleeding intestines again nd hears these noises bc of her messed up ears so cant sleep etc and then theres just regular back and hip nd knee pains she has bc of deteriorating bones bc medication. like i get thats horrible nd i do get that thats why her moods change so much nd shes so scary to talk to but i dont think thats a reason to never ask her to maybe not say or do smth abusive or bigoted??

like at the time i was happy that they were finally a bit more satisisfied bc i talked to them for a long time but im just really so puzzled on what to say to them when they say smth horrible, like. i feel like i have to try to educate them nd not make them (especially my mom) move further to the right nd to racist rethoric. nd i dont even think her racist views changed that much (though she did luckily, though only somewhat, changed her mind on zwarte piet) but the netherlands is just so behind on shit that even acknowledging racism exists here is incomprehensible to ppl like her and enrages them so much bc its seen as a personal insult. like idk what to say to an old white woman who had threatened to slap me if i ever called her actions racist again, and who clearly believes in cops and antiblackness so much just like the average member of a buurtpreventie app, that calling cops on black men is justified to her. like idk how to change someones mind bc she never listened to me nd only gets aggressive nd i have to stay nice and never confront her actions bc shes in insufferable pain???? what about other disabled people who r in chronical pains and SUFFER bc of racism?? like white disabled people rly get a free pass on being shitty bc of feeling bad but the same mentality isnt applied to poc. like she's rly become a stubborn old adult who doesnt listen to / read what others state unless it doesnt challenge her views or if its on tv or whatsapp groups, nd anything confronting is met w insults or passive agressiveness. like idk how to educate ppl like that bc my parents (esp mom) clearly refuse to be open to that, and they dont use social media nd cant read the same level of english as me so all info has to be in dutch but also everything is seen as a personal insult or 'too elitist' language so i rly dont know what to do. like i want to be more than a fucking ally on only the internet nd maybe 1 or 2 protests per year, but idk how to get through the thick skulls of people 30-40 years older than me who r so hard to communicate w bc they dont get technology, social media, newer language, poc, lgbt stuff, cant read a lot of english nd stop reading at difficult words etc ???

[0225pm]

this is gonna be one long ass post so pls bear with me. i just felt like i must write everything in details! today was probably the most surprising day ever for me (pun intended ���) the night before han asked me if i had any plans or if i wanted to go anywhere on sunday of which i said, no because i really didn't have anywhere i needed to be so i asked him to plan something. he then said, "ok ah i plan but you cannot ask me any questions about whatever i plan. you just follow me only. if you ask also, i will just ignore and not answer the questions." which i agreed to!!! and i was honestly looking forward to see if he actually really did planned anything. the next day, i was in a frikin dilemma LOL. mainly because i didn't know what to wear. i thought of wearing something casual, an oversized tee with a jacket or something but i figured i might be too underdressed and for some reason i wanted to look bomb af for my man. i even put on my gold metallic eyeshadow which i usually never do and mascara!!!!! i just wanted to look cute la ok hahahaha to the point that i even asked seanna what to wear or to give me some ideas for an outfit. but i ended up just piecing my own look together - i wore this cute floral top which i got the other day at temt and my black pleated skirt. pairing it with my chucks and backpack made me look almost like a 90s high school kid or smth HAHAHAAH (what an exaggeration LOL) should have worn my choker out too but ughHh i think i may need to get a new one cus the one i have is a tad bit thick and feels uncomfortable after awhile. bc of my get-up, i felt like +1 to my self confidence!! it made me feel happy. anyway, he came over to my place to fetch me and was alr waiting for me when i came down. the first thing he said when he saw me was, "why you so prettyyyyy" FML can you imagine just how much i was bursting with excitement on the insides and how happy i was???? ofc he always do compliment me from time to time but this time it made me feel really happy because he said "i can see the effort you put into your look today"!!!!! which is true i rly did put quite a bit of extra effort than usual into picking out my outfit and make up today ^^ and those actually boosted my self confidence, it made me feel cute. but oh boy what he did on the bus made me feel all electrifying and melty wtf (can you feel two diff emotions at once bc i did!!!!) so we boarded the bus and took a seat and the next thing he said again was, "why you so prettyyyy" of which i humbly said "nooOoOooO" because i'm so shy???? wtf how long together already still so shy hahahaah. and then proceeded to sniff(?) and kiss my cheek and then a lot of skinship happened wtf i love skinship with han it makes me feel so loved omg the feeling is indescribable la if you really love someone, you will probably feel the same way i do!!!! my fav was when he kept looking at my tummy (ok i'm still actually rly shy about this even tho he said that he doesn't mind and find it cute) and then joked about how the top stretches out and became white (it's a black base top) bc of my tummy. and then i just kept like poking my tummy???????? and then he just grabbed my whole body into his arms and squished me tightly and said smth like "eeee geramnye!!!" wah fuk i rly love it when he speaks malay and go all touchy and clingy HAHAHAAHAH oh i also asked if he had alr eaten and if he still hasn't made any plans we can maybe go grab a bite first then walk around the mall or smth if we don't have any plans for the day. honest to God i don't mind not doing anything as long as i'm with him!! this is absolutely legit. we don't even have to talk or whatever as long as he's physically there for me to see and hold on to ya know what i mean? ok and then we walked towards the mrt and by this time i still don't know where we were going!!!! i kept asking but like he told me the night before, he just ignored my questions and left them unanswered. he then asked me to sit under the fan (it was blazing hot today) while he walked over to he mrt waiting area and as i observed, took out his phone (i thought hmmm maybe he's trying to search where to eat or smth) and then we boarded the train and stopped at kembangan????? which just makes me questioned him again bc why kembangan when there's nothing there at all! there are no malls and places there seems barren. again, he didn't answer and then took me to the taxi stand. by this time i was kinda trying to be patient bc it was so hot and i was perspiring and my makeup was melting and my outfit felt sticky under all that perspiration i just didn't feel cute anymore. i kinda felt like all my efforts to dress up for him was gone just like that and i blame the sun!!!!! it has been rather humid lately and i hate it sfm! and then he told me to stand under the shade while he smoked a stick and then made some calls. by this time i knew he was alr booking a grab and i demanded answers. i wanted to know why he's wasting his money on grab YET AGAIN when we could have just taken the train and save $$!!! we ended up taking the grab anyway and i kinda snapped at him inside and i felt rly sorry for it bc i can be quite a bitch when i'm hot and sweaty. and then bc he didn't wanna tell me where were we going i thought maybe i can ask the grab driver but apparently EVEN SHE WAS IN CAHOOTS WITH HAN OK like i came to a sudden realization that maybe han called her to tell her not to tell me if i asked!!!!!!!! and then she drove thru geylang area and i asked han again where we're going and this time he gave me a hint!!!!!! he said "we're going somewhere where there are lots of food" so ofc my initial thought was onekm!! bc we were nearby and then i asked him "is it onekm?" and then he said "ya how u know!!!" but ugh he lied bc the driver drove past onekm and then all of a sudden we were nearby suntec area. han tried to cover my sight bc he didn't want me to see where we were gonna end up at but i struggled (i was in an uncomfortable position) so he finally relented and then spilled the beans by pointing to a poster of yayoi kusama outside and telling me that's where we're going. AND I WAS SO SHOOKETH!!!! wtf i rly was so shocked ..... ............ it never crossed my mind, not even once throughout the whole journey that he was taking me to the art gallery to see her exhibitions. istg i was so shook i didn't know what to say to him. all i rmbr saying was "omg yayoi kusama??? you're bringing me to yayoi kusama????? it's expensive tho omg whattttttttt" and then i said smth like "noOoo let's not go and waste money it's rly expensive it's like 30 bux per entry wtf" and then he said smth like "u dw go then i go myself la" and i was like "no wth!!!!!" and when we reached there, unfortunately the tickets were all sold out ahahahahah it was rly quite unfortunate bc han took so much effort and wasted money on grabbing down but honestly i felt really fucking touched by his actions today. like all those efforts to keep it a surprise till the very end, money spent on grab bc he thought that if we take the train all the way we will be late for the exhibitions, trying to plan something even though he's a horrible planner. everything he did makes me appreciate his existence in my life even more. he's rly so boyfriend material now wtf so fucking sweet and romantic. but he was really really disappointed to find out that the tickets were all sold out to the point that he even went back down to ask the person at the counter if there's really no tickets left. he said smth like "i don't usually do this and it's not everyday that i plan smth for u but the tickets are all sold out. i should have made an online booking la fuck la" he was just blaming himself all the way and i really felt so sad for him. i wanted to cheer him up but i didn't rly know how to bc i knew how much he tried his best to make me happy today. and for that, i am really really thankful bc in the end, it's the thought that really counts!!! his mood from there on just changed :( and he suddenly became rather grouchy and masked it by saying that he was hungry. but i knew he was still disappointed by the fact that his plans was botched. OK I WILL CONTINUE PART 2 LATER WHEN I AWAKEN FROM MY SLUMBER BC ITS 4:50AM AND IM STARTING TO FEEL SLEEPY