#so having them play these kind of roles should help them really up their acting game

[tiredassmage]

it is exactly this kind of thought process that makes me subject even my blorbos who i never intended to be in the main character hotseat, let alone alliance commander kind of main character syndrome, to the kotxx electric boogaloo. there's a post or smth that lives rent free in my mind about something to the effect that "not so much blatantly out of character, but what circumstances would lead the character to do x or act in x manner" and smth about if you can find that you can make almost anything believable but it's that first part of the ~wisdom that's really given me a lot to chew on.

i think the only tech class i haven't super spent a lot of time plugging into the commander seat is bounty hunter, but len did make it that far at least once and i'll do it to him again now that i have a better grasp of who he is.

[i have too many blorbos so in the thought of sparing dashboards, let me put a cut]

if i get to die on the hill convincing muts and fellow swtor-ers that agent is actually an epic kind of character to put through the expansions then i'd die happy. it... makes sense to me in a way that idk if i can generally explain it very well and it's... incredibly individualized to what happens to the agent in their class story. tyr fits the role of commander in a way that i think some would still call surprisingly well, but there's the argument that what is 'commander' but another role or mask to play, and especially for someone like tyr who is invested in building his team because the better his team, the better he was able to do his own job, he's... a natural at it, really. and tyr has been the type that's been looking for a kind of change (in his life, in his own circumstances, maybe in the whole galaxy) for so long that regardless of being thrust into the commander's seat or not, he would've found himself in the alliance. a man so driven by his ideals finally getting an escape out of being a ghost in the rather binary system of the galaxy is almost a relief - sans, y'know, the ancient sith emperor bouncing around in his head, but he's dealt with migraines before, so it's another day that ends in y for cipher nine.

his trooper au edition handles it all with... a significantly less amount of grace, to put it nicely, lol. troopertyr was kinda unsteady by everything he endured in the class story era and the early expansions to begin with, and his anchor was his team, to keep things short. being shorn of that support network that helped build so much of his identity and sense of purpose brings out the worse edges of him. he unravels a lot under the pressure, but being in that kind of position, nobody else can afford to stop him and ask if he's okay, which lets him spiral pretty far and get into a series of behaviors that he'll loathe himself for and have to spend several years after the alliance is no longer in his hands (he doesn't want the pressure, and he'll turn down reinstatement to republic special forces even as he hands what remains of the alliance freely over to the republic and sets whoever doesn't want to go loose) trying to unlearn and recover from. arguably, the ex-co of havoc squad should be relatively well-prepared for a role like alliance commander, and that spin through the story really improved my thoughts on trooper and my love for it, but troopertyr i built a very... special kind of cocktail about how he came into special forces and havoc squad where it... wasn't really the best fit for him to be there to begin with, but it was the circumstances he was dealt, so the further pressures found the cracks that had already formed and just drove them deeper.

i have toyed around a little about what it'd do to leo, one of my smugglers - arguably one of the least qualified people to ever have to handle the situation based on his credentials and disposition for handling pressure and decisions, which.... naturally meant i just had to figure out sooner or later what it'd do to him, right? so, for leo, ending up with the whole valkorian problem and trying to wrangle the alliance starts with being in the wrong place at a really bad time, and it preys on his fears about loss. leo's not nearly as good an actor as my agents are - they're trained for those kind of scenarios so they come by it quite naturally in comparison, but at the end of the day, leo finds himself in situations often where he puts on some kind of mask to get through the situation. and he's desperate to protect the few people he cares about. he's a much smaller picture kind of person, rather than the grand overarching picture of the galaxy and its interwoven problems that most of my other characters have. leo making a deal with valkorian is less, initially, about personal power or ruling an empire as it is a don't hurt them. which is easy enough for valkorian - it's not really a lie to say they won't come to harm by his hand when they're barely significant enough for valkorian to notice, right? and not that leo is.... gullible, exactly, but he's... scared in that kind of scenario. scared enough to lose the few people he loved, and astronomically stressed and overwhelmed by the impossible nature of the task set before them, and not particularly a good leader. i think valkorian can manipulate him into spinning taking over zakuul as the kind of... become more powerful so they can't touch you kind of narrative. a bit similarly to what leo thinks of his reputation in the wake of nok drayen's treasure and taking down the voidwolf. no reason to not take advantage of the power and the fame in the ways he can, and double down on keeping the claws at hand gripping desperately to the precarious position it puts him in to have that kind of notoriety, right? it's.... incredibly unideal for him in a lot of ways, and something that could arguably make him worse without a counter from one of his old gang of friends and beloveds to steady his perspective on things. he doesn't become malicious out of ill-intent, exactly, but he... can be driven to lock down and lash out in the interest of self-preservation and protecting the few people he cares for. if he's going to be forced to run this shitshow, he'll.... make it work for them. it has to work... this is what they want, right? right?

and len is... on a superficial, baseline thought it's... it can be as simple as the fact that the man doesn't know how to turn down a challenge. he's bullheaded. and while he's "smart" enough to know in the throne room he can't simply put a blaster bolt through the immortal ex-sith emperor and solve everything so simply, so take his deal, he is also incredibly, belligerently independent and stubborn in a 'this is good advice, but don't tell me what to do' fashion that ends up making him mouthy with valkorian, anyway. and len, thankfully(?), has a background in imperial black ops prior to his career as a bounty hunter that gives him some military training in addition to his several years as a hunter and experience in the great hunt that make him a prepared fighter and, admittedly, a surprisingly decent leader as far as assigning forces. he's not the most emotionally available man there ever was, and as mouthy and belligerent as he's known to be, he also knows tossing his head too much and trying to fight being given the reins on the alliance won't actually achieve any of their goals for anyone. he'll still make comments about it, sure, he's got a reputation to maintain, after all. can't have all these whelps thinking he's gone soft or somethin' on 'em. but he's also nothing if not a man about getting his jobs done, and this is another job. and he fucking hates losing. xD

smushing every class into the Commander role isn't the best decision storywise but asking how your particular character adapts to the role - whether they're unfitting or not - is always very good for the creative cogs

[couldbebetterforsure]

I just got past the casting for the Winter Performance, Oh Rama Havenna. And wow Neji really was like “since this is just a throwaway performance I’m gonna make things uncomfortable for EVERYBODY 🤪” and decided to really enjoy playing around with the casting! Well…except for Otori, my guy still getting the oddball roles as usual! So…to recap…

Kisa: Her first Al Jeanne role since the Newcomers Performance! It’s gonna be interesting since Kisa’s latest roles have had her lean more into being a boy so it’ll be fun seeing her play a more feminine role again! And she deserves the Al Jeanne spot after she’s been killing the competition this year!!!

Suzu: So he’s gonna play a more softspoken role from what I understand? Neji’s description makes the role sound kinda similar to what Jean Jose was supposed to be. Neji, did you come through for me and give me villainous Suzu??? This will be fun because Suzu never really got used to Jean Jose before he was out so I wanna see him do this role! But looks like there’ll be drama because Suzu doesn’t seem all that okay at the start of the semester, definitely related to Sou.

Sou: Boy got himself another Jack role (I’m kinda gonna miss seeing him in Jeanne roles 😂)! And he’s gonna be a showy type of guy, that should be fun! Sou already showed off how capable he can be at acting, and everyone around him is aware of it, so this role can be good at improving upon his skills.

Mitsuki: Him being the other Al Jeanne was not something I was expecting but it looks like the Winter Performance will be Mitsuki’s arc to shine! Especially since he’s slowly growing to care more about the performances and how he doesn’t seem even remotely okay with taking a lead role.

Fumi: A Jack!!!! He’s gonna be a playboy Jack role!!! Holy shit how has no one ever tried making Fumi do Jack roles before, this is such a good play! I mean yeah I know there’s the whole thing about finding students who can do Jeanne roles is difficult and that Univeil doesn’t really make students go outside their assigned positions much. But Fumi doing a Jack role, A+ casting Neji!!!

Kai: I was sincerely shocked because I thought he was gonna be left out entirely. But then, he has a small part? And this is the first time he’s not paired with Fumi in these plays…Maybe the idea is to make Kai be more independent as an actor? And it’s make sense to start easy with smaller roles than throwing him into a major role solo…

Neji: I can’t wait to see Neji being an evil Jeanne character 😂😂😂 I don’t think Neji has done any more serious roles, I’d like to see him try it sometime because I think he can be capable of it. Maybe this role can have a bit of that?

Yeah, it looks like the Winter Performance will be about making as much of the cast uncomfortable as possible by putting them in roles they don’t typically do. Neji really does do things for the good of Quartz in the most chaotic ways possible doesn’t he?

[pedge-page]

Whatever You Say

Stepdad!Joel Miller x F!Reader

Notes: this was supposed to be a 3 sentence "imagine this!" But i just kept... going.

Summary: Joel's determined to be the father you need and the husband your mom deserves. That all comes crashing down when he accidentally misunderstands your intentions.

Warnings: unprotected sex, stepdad!Joel, switch!Joel, pathetic step dad, voyeurism, panting sniffing and stealing, f and m masturbation, manipulation/black mail, dub con, Daddy kink, riding, sub!joel, rimming, humiliation kink, cum play, cheating

18+ ONLY

- - - -

Genuinely nice, kind, wanting to do the right thing Step!Dad Joel trying to be a good man to your mom and fit in with you. Despite your aversion to him, he knows you're an adult now and you probably aren't on board with the whole "new dad" thing so late in the game. Still, he gives you your space but also actively inserts himself into your family, trying to get your stubborn self to open up to him and accept him.

His assumptions are wrong, when he crosses passed your cracked bedroom door one night and hears you moaning "Daddy!" While rubbing your clit. He gasps and covers his mouth, unable to draw away from the sight of your slick pussy glistening in the moon light from the window.

He should turn away right now, burn the vision and memory from his brain, but your sweet soft whimper of "Daddy please..." followed by a high pitched groan, and the schlickslick sounds of your finger working through your folds has him planted in place, mesmerized.

"Daddy's here," he hums under his breath barely over a whisper, not removing his tranfixed gaze from your naked wreathing body in bed as he fishes out his leaking cock and begins to pump it with his fist. He would have genuinely never guessed, never picked up on how needy you had been all this time for him. Too busy denying yourself and pushing him away when you really needed him shoving his cock right into your aching little cunt.

He's practically salivating. Each time you let out a "Daddy m'gonna cum, wanna cum on your cock!" He can feel his length pulse wildly in his palm.

"Cum for Daddy!" he rasps, jaw dropping in a silent please as he bursts over the lower panel of your door. At the same time you arch your back, tits piercing the air while your orgasm tears through you.

He steadies his breathing as low as possible, still not sure if he's dreaming. His vision regains focus on you just as you bring your sticky fingers to your lips and suck them clean of your juices with a satisfied hum.

Joel chokes, accidentally stumbling against the door.

You sit up only to hear a frantic rush of footsteps disappearing down the hall and a door slamming at the end.

-

After that, Joel avoids you like the plague but stalks you from a distance. He's too nervous to act on both your desires. He had set out on this family to be a good husband, a good father! Your dad was shit so of course you'd been neglected that vital role in your life.

He just can't help but get hard every time he thinks about you.

Whenever you go out with friends for the night, he sneaks into your room and slips into your bed. The aroma of your shampoo and body wash, sweat and skin rubbing along these same sheets fills his senses. Joel palms over his bulge, buring his nose into your pillow with a pathetic sigh. It smelled like sex, like you'd been rubbing your slick pussy all over your bed, marking it, making it evident of your possession like a nest.

He finds a pair of used panties sitting on the floor beside the bed, pressing the damp crotch of it firmly into his nose. He already has a thick hand wrapped around his girth as he tongues and sniffs your used undies, rolling his hips into his hand. God, he wants you. And he knows you need him. Should he be the big man, step up as any father would and take care of your needs? Is that what you were waiting for? Waiting all this time for Daddy to ruin your sweet tight hot little cunt and fill you to the brim with his seed--

Hes about to cum when your door swings open. Yhe blood from his body drains into his cock as you stand, catching him red handed, literally, with your crimson panties wrapped around his fist and bare dick in your bed jerking off to the thought of you.

"What the FUCK, joel??" You screech, slamming your door closed behind you, trapping him in here with his confessions laid out for you to direct.

"I c-c-I uh--"

Vowels tumble from his mouth but nothing coherent comes out. He should put his cock away, but he just catches the way your eyes glance down every half second, ans it only makes him swell with righteousness even more.

He breathes in, smirking, knowing he has the upper hand here. "Heard ya crying for your Daddy few nights back. Wanted to give ya what you--"

"Just because I have a "daddy" kink doesn't mean i was crying for you, you perverted fuck!" You shout.

Joel's shit eating grin disappears into horror. "You--you didnt--"

He wants to crawl into the wall, but even worse than the situation he's caged himself in, you start walking closer. "IS that what you thought? That i was rubbing my pussy to the thought of you??" You cackle. "That's fucking disgusting. I call my BOYFRIEND 'daddy.' Only a sick, perverted old fuck like you would think I'd be wanting my step dad of all people!"

Daggers piece his insides at each word. You stalk towards him even more, ans he's practically crawling up the bedframe in fear and embarrassment. It doesn't help that his cock is fucking leaking all over your pillow, bobbing painfully with the reddened tip thrombin another glob of precum from his hole.

"I-"

"Is that what you are, Joel? A perverted, sick fuck who thinks about fucking his step daughter?"

"Please--please i--I'm so sorry -- I didnt... I misunderstood..."

"Misunderstood?" You've finally cornered him, knee pressed to the matress and leaning over so he has no where to look but you. "Did you plan to use that as your excuse when I tell my mom I found you jerking off in my bed with my underwear wrapped around your face?"

"Please--please don't tell her..." he could die. Die right now that he's one centimeter from fucking this whole family to hell, the family he had wanted to make right for so long-andwhyishisdickstillsohard??

"I'll do anything," he whimpers. "I'll make it up to you."

He hopes you're gonna bleed his wallet dry, or get him to do your dishes, or buy you a apartment, but instead, your eyes drop down to his spread legs, biting your lower lip with a sickening hum.

You don't say anything as you shove him, his back flat bouncing onto the bed. You straddle his waist, his face bound in surprise. Joel stutters a whine but snaps his throat shut as his cock brushes along your ass, your very naked, bare ass underneath that sorry excuse for a skirt.

"I wanna see just how desperate you are to get inside your stepdaughter," you hiss, your hand snaking behind the two of you and gripping his length.

His face is pale, shocked and aroused and confused all at once, but he doesn't protest at all when you rub his tip through your soaking folds. He tilts his chin down to watch the scene between your legs unfold, unsure what kind of punishment miracle this must be.

"Daddy," you whine.

His head snaps back to your face like a dog ready for a treat.

You laugh. "That's what you wanted to hear, wasn't it? Me crying for my daddy when he's about to push his big--fat--cock inside my little pussy?"

You both let out a moan, wide eyed and open mouthed as you sink fully onto his length.

"Ohhh, dadddyyyy," you tease, experimentally rolling your hips. Joel's hand slap to your hips, instinctually holding you up as you begin to ride him. Whether you were making fun of him or actually enjoying yourself, he didnt care. All he cared about was the warm, wet suction of your heat sucking him back in each time you grinned your hips down on him.

"Do you like this, Daddy?" You moan, looking down on him.

He grits his teeth, beautiful brown eyes making contact and nodding. He has no words.

You giggle. "Me too, Daddy. Your cock is so big, stretches me so fucking good. Never had cock like this," you gasp, one hand planted on his collar as you set off a quicker pace, humping him with delicious rhythm.

He has already edged himself before you had come in. You could tell he was close, his thrusts meeting your every roll of your hips.

"Do you wanna cum? You wanna cum inside me Daddy?"

He nods fervently.

"Tell me."

"I wanna cum--wanna cum inside, inside your sweet pussy baby fuck, please let me, let me cum, let daddy cum inside you!"

"You can cum inside--but only if you do everything I tell you." You expertly swivel your hips so that his impending orgasm is subsided, making him growl. He has no other option but to focus on your words as if it were law. "If I want you to eat my pussy at the dinner table, you do it. If I tell you to finger me when Mom is talking, you do it. And if I tell you I want you to myself all night...?"

"Im here," he moans obediently. His blunt nails dig into your belly as he bucks harder into you, agreeing to everything you say just so he can burst.

You smile. "Cum inside me Daddy!"

He obeys, shouting as his hips still high in the air and thick ropes of his spent cover your walls. You laugh at him, laugh and moan and laugh ans gasp and laugh, and he can't get enough of it. He's never cum so hard in his fucking life, filling you to the brim until it's leaking down his shaft in a creamy mix of yours and his fluids.

Of course, you knew he wanted you. You did think about him every night since he shook your head eith "Hi, Im Joel," like the upstanding citizen he was. You knew he was a perverted mess. And ever since you found that sticky surprise plastered on your door, it only confirmed it. Joel Miller was a needy man, and you were a needy woman. He was meant to be here, and you weren't about to fight destiny.

Collapsing against his sweaty chest, your lips connect with his in a messy link of wet kisses and breathless moans as Joel comes down from his high. You can see it in his hazy eyes: He'd do anything for you right now. Jump off a cliff, eat poison, stab your mom--

"And if I tell you to get on your knees and spread your ass...?" You hum casually into his mouth before sucking his tongue.

He stops, eyes fluttering open slightly with crinkles in his forehead. You know he heard you. You raise your brow, waiting for his move.

Joel glances down at your plump, wet and swollen lips once more before rolling over and planting his knees into the bed, bending forward so his face hovered over the pillows.

Your legs clench together in excitement as you position yourself behind him. He hesitates for a moment before bringing his fingers around his sides and spreading his cheeks before you, his hole exposed to your devilish gaze.

He can't see behind him, but the sound of your squelching pussy as you finger yourself to his ass makes him whimpers into the pillow.

You pull a glob of Joels and yours cum from deep inside and spread it along his asshole. He flinches, not being used to -- well, fuck, ANYONE touching him there in his whole life. He's touched his hole before, out of curiousty more than anything, but thats the extend Joel Miller has ever gone.

Not that you are paying any mind to his apprehensions, as your thumb messily circles the tight edges of his entrance like a finger painting.

It's warm and sticky as you smear his cum over the rim, dribbling in excess down his crack to his balls and hanging cock. He can feel pulses of excitement and anxiety twitching, undoubtedly for you to make fun of him more.

What the hell would a pretty girl like you want with his old hairy aashole?

"You have such a pretty hole, Daddy," you hum against his cheek, nipping it softly with your teeth. He feels your lips glide over the swell before the warm heat of your breath tickles his opening, and your lips settle with a gentle, innocent kiss. He let's out a low sigh, closing his eyes while you make out with his ass.

His step daughter is making out with his ass hole right now, and he's getting hard as a rock.

Your tongue prods his rim, making him stutter, pushing back slightly against you again. You giggle, obliging and wiggling the tip around his puckered entrance enclosing your lips again to suck and kiss before repeating. One of your hands starts tugging on his cock, squeezing along the base before yanking up and down like you're trying to milk him.

Joel's head fully sinks into the pillow, his tongue lolling out as he let's out happy groans. His eyes roll back every time you straighten your tongue a little harder. Trying to work its way inside, wiggling and kissing him softly.

Joel thinks to hell with upstanding dad, upstanding husband routine he had envisioned when he first laid eyes on you and your mom. He can feel his irises morphing into literal hearts as you continue to lap at at his ass, never having fallen in love and fallen to his knees for a woman so quickly in his goddamb life.

- - - -

Taglist:

@harriedandharassed @lola8888673 @its-nebuleuse @zliteraturehoe @merz-8 @joeldjarin @pascalscoffin @pedroshotwifey @ghostslillady @innerpersonunknown @missladym1981 @mrsoharaxx @survivingandenduring @milla-frenchy @cockykookiee @fairytale07 @daddy-din @pedropascalsbbg @spookyxsam @somehopeatlast @millercontracting @pedrostories @mishala005 @theoraekenslover @animez96 @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @puduvallee @cassiecasluciluce @loohoop @himboelover @callsignwidow @wintersquirrel @fluffygoffpanda @picketniffler @bbyanarchist

[least-carpet]

Thoughts about jl and jc relationship? I love them but their relationship is criticized a lot, I would love to hear your thoughts

Hi, anon! Very belatedly, here is an answer!

They love each other and Jin Ling is very secure in that love. It is very evident to me—and to Jin Ling himself—that Jiang Cheng loves Jin Ling and would die for him. Jin Ling trusts and relies on Jiang Cheng, and scoffs at the idea that his uncle has ever hit him, in a cultural context where corporal punishment is not unusual. Jin Ling goes to Jiang Cheng when he's crying. Jin Ling pushes back at Jiang Cheng, goes around him, and talks back to him fearlessly, with a sort of bratty entitlement rather than fearful defiance. This is not something a kid who is afraid of their guardian does. This is not something Jiang Cheng would have done with his own parents!

Jiang Cheng did a better job than his parents did with him. You might not personally want Jiang Cheng as a parent, but contrast him against his own soft-spoken father: I don't think Jin Ling would ever say that Jiang Cheng just didn't like him, or think to himself that Jiang Cheng wouldn't show up to save him. Jin Ling is way more secure in Jiang Cheng's affection for him than Jiang Cheng ever was when it came to Jiang Fengmian, and I don't think that's by accident. I think that's something that Jiang Cheng probably worked hard for. It is notable that Jiang Cheng, Jin Ling's maternal uncle, showed up for Jin Ling so consistently that Jin Ling has more trust in him than Jiang Cheng had in his own parents, despite being, like, twenty and running a sect by himself.

Jin Ling looks up to Jiang Cheng. Jin Ling, I think, patterns his behaviour after a couple of ideals. One of them I think, is an image of his father as a young and adventurous hero— young war hero Jin Zixuan, one of the best archers in his generation. (Also initially kind of a twerp with bad social skills, but Jin Ling doesn't know that.) And the other, I think, is Jiang Cheng. (He also very obviously cares for and admires Jin Guangyao, but I don't think he takes him as a model in the same way?) So Jiang Cheng is also important to Jin Ling as a role model. And why wouldn't he be? He's really good at a very hard job. (He's also, like, emotionally damaged from the war and its fallout, but realistically, a lot of the adults around Jin Ling would also be like that to some degree, especially in the Jiang sect.)

Jin Ling expresses care the way Jiang Cheng does, and that helps them understand and trust each other. Jin Ling also expresses his love in the same way that Jiang Cheng expresses his love: through defending the people he cares about. We see him do it when Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji want to enter Jin Guangyao's rooms, and again when Jiang Cheng is exhausted at the second siege of the Burial Mounds (Jin Ling just fucking scooping up Jiujiu and carrying him to safety remains hilarious to me). The scene where he thinks he hears Lan Sizhui say something about a ghost and he pops out and offers to kill the ghost for him also comes to mind. That's how you express affection if you're Jin Ling! He's going to put his foot in his mouth but if somebody threatens you, he's ready to go! Does this remind you of... anyone... like maybe Jiang Cheng, Mr. "Knife Mouth, Tofu Heart."

Jin Ling is definitely a little jerk sometimes, but I don't think it's fair to totally blame that on Jiang Cheng. Jin Ling's bad behaviour is often chalked up to Jiang Cheng being a bad guardian, but he's not the only influence at play: Jin Ling is at a terrible age. He's trying to individuate. He's at the centre of a lot of scrutiny because of his position, and potentially also danger. He's isolated and bullied in his home sect because he's an orphan, which, like, what the fuck. He splits time between two sects with wildly different philosophies and priorities, and probably gets a lot of conflicting messages about what's important and how he should act. His guardians have different parenting styles and priorities, and are themselves under a lot of scrutiny. People gossip about him, his dead parents, his live uncles—really viciously about Jin Guangyao— and probably his dead cousin, too. I would also probably be a very confused and angry teenager in those circumstances! Him acting out is not very surprising!

Jin Ling and Jiang Cheng are under a lot of stress during MDZS, and the way they relate to each other reflects that. Part of growing up is finding out your parents are people with, like, human frailties and their own trauma. Jin Ling's guardians have a LOT of human frailties and a LOT of trauma, and he finds out about it in detail during MDZS, in some pretty ugly ways. (We're shown that Jiang Cheng loves Jin Ling enough to shield him with his own body and that Jin Ling is comforted by Jiang Cheng's presence when he cries, but we also see Jiang Cheng give Jin Ling a pretty hard smack while he's freaking out in Guanyin Temple! Not good, although—based on what Jin Ling previously stated—not a usual behaviour from Jiang Cheng.) Despite this, I do think both Jiang Cheng and Jin Guangyao sincerely loved and tried to raise Jin Ling well. And they didn't do so bad! He's a snobby little brat with a mean mouth but he's also courageous, protective, empathetic, and willing to re-evaluate his beliefs when he's presented with new information!

Basically, I just think that you can be a flawed and harsh person and still love your kid enough that they turn out OK. Jin Ling's not perfect, by any means. But I think he's going to grow up into a pretty impressive adult, and I think no small part of that is because Jiang Cheng loves him, so, so much. (I also think that not all parental figures are great matches for every kid, but, like, these two just really get each other. Scorpio2scorpio communication.)

TL;DR I love them, they love each other, it's definitely not a perfect relationship and I understand why people react in a negative way to the thought of Jiang Cheng in a parental role (although I also think it's a mistake to assume that he parents like he was parented).

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - It's odd rn but VERY PRETTY

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Oct 2024 Week 1

Ongoing Series - Thai

Jack & Joker (Thai Mon IQIYI) ep 4 of 12 - I love Joke so much! And I love War in this role so much. It’s great. This is a great show it’s such fun. The comedy is somewhat leaving me flat. But that’s normal for me in this kind of Thai BL. I also like Hope. I shouldn’t, but I do. I love the little girl character as well, and I do believe that Joke has found his scion in her.

(As per usual the grandma of this BL speaks for all of us.)

Kidnap (Fri YT) ep 5 of 12 - Coils be coiling. Mummy dearest is v hot. I do like the twist on the henchmen. It would’ve been really gut-wrenching if Q had put the rope around his own wrist the night that he slept by himself (or tried to). And they have now made "the promise that is destined to be broken" waves at trope. Meanwhile, great flirting. Next week being episode six we should be getting our kiss.

(Was GMMTV gently poking at Jack & Joker with that play-within-a-play reference to Jack as Min's stunt part?)

Fourever You (Thai Thurs YT) ep 1 of 16 - Sampler pack university BL from Wabi Sabi that's trying to be a gay Boys Over Flowers (4 older med student hot boys + frosh) and it’s exactly what I want right now. Is it good? No, not really. Do I care? Not at all. It is, in fact, boys over flowers... only boys no flowers. I really couldn’t want anything more than that. What can I say? I’m easy. I love a pining seme. I guess what I am saying is, I am trash for trash. Inject this shit directly into my eyeballs.

Love Sick 2024 (Thai Sun iQIYI) ep 3 of 15 - At least in this version they talk bit more with each other about what’s going on. (Then again in the original we didn't need it, the acting was so good.) Still it’s a lot more modern to see representation of communication, but but the previous version felt more honest to teen behavior. This open communication entirely changes the push pull dynamic of Phun & Noh's whole relationship. I actually LIKE that change because it makes it very different from the original. I’ve been hoping that this one would veer in a different direction. I'm enjoying that they've made it Phun with the long term crush, and that he’s sort of testing himself with heterosexuality. It is selfish, but it is also a very rich kid thing to do. I love the shouted confessions and the decision to not date. This is a really good twist on the original. I’m liking this a hell of a lot more now that it’s substantially changed in direction, if not in tone.

Monster Next Door (Thai Thurs Gaga ) ep 11 of 12 - It’s very sweet and wholesome. And everyone kisses pretty. And I do like the communication and green flag aspects of this show. But I'm also finding it a touch dull. 

Battle of the Writers (Sun YT) ep 9 of 12 - I don’t know. The pretending to be blind thing is weird. This whole show is weird. I’m kinda weirded out by it. I like the two side couples well enough, but we get barely any time with them at all.

I Saw You in My Dream (Weds Gaga) ep 12 fin - I like that they did come around to the dreaming thing as a major plot point in the end. Even though it felt like they forgot about it in the middle. And I liked that it was an inherited family trait. I didn’t expect that (should have, but I didn't). And I thought it suited this kind of drama, even if it was a little pat. The whole family helping at the very end was very sweet and a nice full circle for the narrative. (Like the Ae's family sort of adopting the next-door kids originally. 

Summation

A cute friends to lovers romance, that’s a little bit like the stepbrothers trope since these two grow up next-door to each other and in and out of each other’s lives. The paranormal element is about prophetic dreams, and it is threaded through the narrative even if it gets somewhat lost in the muddy middle. All in all, a sweet fun little series with decent chemistry. 8/10

Addicted Heroin (Thai Tues WeTV) ep 8 of 10 - I've totally forgotten what’s going on. There was another kidnapping. Maybe they’re actually dating now? I don’t know. Honestly, it won’t really matter cause everything will change by the end of this episode... again. That said, I did love the parental confrontation sequence. It’s not as good as in the original because it’s a lot more direct and modernized, but it was pleasingly aggressive. Which I weirdly appreciated for the military angle. The cross-dressing thing was odd. The dolls advertising thing is even odder. Jealous baby on sports day was good though.

Bad Guy My Boss (Thai Sun Gaga) ep 3 of 10 - Why did I feel like I’ve seen this entire episode already. It’s just different characters saying the same thing to the main characters or flirting the same way or whatever. 

Live in Love (Sun Gaga) ep 5 fin - I did not like this ep at all. Fully half of it was evil backstabbing and some bullying and some sort of trying to engender sympathy for a friendship betrayal. And I was not on board. (Wouldn’t mind seen Hali and that cute kid in something together tho.) 

Conclusion

Basically this was a story about online relationships and how they interface with the real world, and in personal friendships, plus bullying of all types and some backstabbing and shipping. The acting was weak, the sound was terrible, and generally it was an old style pulp offering. It tried to deal with some interesting issues, but was awfully clumsy about it. 5/10 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Sugar Dog Life (Japan Sun grey) ep 9 fin - Such a great confession, so truthful and earnest and honest. And he’s also like that with his friends. And such a nice answer. I love that during the cool off they both realize how very much they both act like are boyfriends to each other all the time. Ooo running of the gays! And we even got a cute little smile kiss!!!! and an adorable boyfriend montage at the end. How unexpectedly satisfying of you, Japan!

Summation 

This is a phenomenally charming and adorable little romance about a forlorn university kid and the police officer who adopts him. They are relentlessly kind to each other, in fact it’s an extremely kindly show over all (everyone in it is so nice to everyone else including us) so there’s very little tension. But what it lacks in drive and complexity it makes up for in earnest acts of service and simple affection. These two are basically boyfriends from the get-go, it’s just one of them acts like it and doesn’t realize it and the other one realizes it and has to figure out how to make it a reality. It’s incredibly sweet and incredibly wholesome, nourishing but delicious. Everybody who can should watch this show. It will make you feel better about life. 

Easy 9/10 on this one from me.  

GO WATCH IT  

Teenager Judge (Vietnam Sat YT) ep 2 of ? - We have some semblance of a plot! Yay! Our BV tsundere character is secretly an online judge who whistleblows and exposes corruption in the school system. How very Pump Up the Volume. I am not mad about it. Also 2 of the prettiest seme bullies EVER. The epic pout-off with these bad boys. Be still my heart.

Our Golden Times (Hong Knong ??? YT) 1-4 of ? - Billed as a BL from Hong Kong I’m not sure we can trust this one to a get finished or be cohesive or have an HEA. But the optics are good. Everybody’s very pretty. It’s chaotic and clumsy and a little odd. But most of the stuff on my dash is these days, so what the hell? And ya know what, I kinda like it.

Love is Like a Poison AKA Doku Koi: Doku mo Sugireba Koi to Naru (Japan Tues Netflix?) 4 of 10 eps - It remains entertaining but off kilter in that way that indicates 50% chance of ultimate dissatisfaction in the JBL pantheon. 

First Note Of Love (Taiwan Mon Gaga) ep 9 of 12 - I wish we knew a little bit more about Sea's background/family. Neil should just tell him what the hell is going on. Why wouldn’t he? Instead they artificially wedged the main couple apart for most of this episode and Orca wasn’t there at all? = Not a good episode IMHO.

It's airing but...

My Damn Business (Korea Sat ????) 7 eps - supposedly airing on Saturdays starting 10/5 have no roleand I found the trailer but nothing else.

The Hidden Moon (Sat WeTV) ep 1 of 10 - This is a supernatural romance (my ghost boyfriend trope) by Violet Rain (I Feel You Linger). A man is hired to write an article about an old mansion in Chiang Mai being converted into a café. He sees the ghosts of people who died at the mansion, falls in love with one of them. Was substantially recast. I loved IFYLITA except the ending so I think I'll let this one run it's course you can tell me if it's work tracking down... if they managed to land it. I have my doubts.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

Coming Oct 2024:

10/7 Every You Every Me (Thai Mon Gaga) 10 eps - Jade and Chin have lived over a thousand lifetimes. In each one they somehow manage to fall in love with each other. (This pair, TopMick was piloted in a My Universe ep, that was one of the only ones I liked.)

10/10 Eccentric Romance (Korea Thurs Viki & Gaga) 12 eps - Silkwood’s 2nd Thai/Korean colab, that has been in production since 2022 which is a LONG time in the BL world. I'm worried but I like the concept: friends of 10 years who’ve been hiding feelings for each other enter the same university. Plus MURDER.

10/10 Gangster and His Boyfriend (Korea Thurs ????) 8 eps? - Kim Dong Bin (famous trainee & idol reality competitor, yeah that happens) stars as a fallen idol who unexpectedly becomes entangled in a gangster family. Discovers that his friend’s father is responsible for the murder of his entire family years ago. I don't know much about this one, neither does anyone else and I'm not sure where I got that release date so……

10/21 Love in the Big City (Korea ????) 8 eps - Okay both a movie (already out) and a series. Neither one is likely BL and I can't imagine it will end happily. I'm giving both a pass but here's your synopsis.

Cynical fun loving student Young pinballs from home, to class, to on night stands. He and Jaehee, his female besie and roommate, frequent nearby bars where they push away their worries about life, love, and money with soju and hookups.

10/23 See Your Love (Taiwan Gaga Viki) 10 eps? - Zi Xiong, a third-generation heir, attempting to flee from taking over their family business, meets and falls in love with Shao Peng, who works as a hearing-impaired nurse. From the same production house as Kiseki Dear To Me in partnership with Shinehouse Theatre, funded by Taiwan’s BIGART + Japan's Rakuten (Viki). Show includes Lin Chia Yo (Be Loved in House: I Do). Director Chiang Ping Chen’s childhood experiences with his deaf uncle have inspired the drama.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

I kinda love it when someone else does the prophetic claiming. Our Golden Times

Crumbs in Summer Nights but they very cute crumbs. We didn't even really get to see them get together but I'm glad that they are.

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

Sigh, Tumblr in its infinite wisdom doesn't like too many at-ings.

[scrapyardboyfriends]

Reasons why they should bring Seb back

Now that they’ve gone through the trouble of killing Rebecca off screen (hooray! It’s about time!), it seems only logical that they would do the right thing and bring Seb back, which means I have absolutely zero confidence in them doing so. But here’s my list of why they really really should, as I have been advocating for years now.

Section 1: It would break Aaron out of character growth jail. Since Robert went to prison, Aaron has lost so much. He’s lost a husband and a sister. He lost being a married man, owning his own home and owning his own business. And one of the most important growth things he lost was being a father. He’d already lost Seb and Ryan leaving wrecked the surrogacy story. So bringing Seb back would:

1. Allow Aaron to fulfill the dream he had of being a father and having a family. So many characters just get handed unwanted children but Aaron actually wanted to be a dad and so of course he lost out on that. Giving him Seb would allow him to realize that goal again.

2. Allow Aaron to grow up again. Since his return, he’s been angry, mean, adrift, committing petty crime again for no reason. Seb being back would give him purpose and a reason to clean up his act. It would allow him to get to be an adult again, something the character sorely needs.

3. Allow Aaron to have screen time and positive story. Aaron has been off screen a lot, so much so that all of his current relationship story development has taken place almost entirely off screen. Seb being back would give Aaron an actual story to play out, especially if there were difficulties in getting formal custody. It’s also a story that would have a happy outcome, once he gets custody, which is something the show could really use right now in the midst of all of the depressing terrible stories. And Aaron has always had such a miserable time on the show so I feel like people would root for something good to happen to him.

4. Allow Aaron to have new kinds of stories. Single Dad Aaron opens up so man new possibilities for him, being able to take on a parental role, having to think about Seb’s needs and not just his own.

5. Allow Aaron to have a full circle moment looking after a troubled kid the way Paddy looked after him.

6. Allow Aaron to interact with new characters. Single Dad Aaron would have more opportunity to interact with the other parents in the village. It might give him more reason to have a proper friendship with Billy for example aside from silly illegal boxing stories. It puts him into new circles, which can open him up for new possibilities.

Section 2: Seb gives Aaron a permanent tie to Robert. For whatever reason, the powers that be seem unwilling to let Aaron fully move on from Robert (that’s another whole post I want to write) but this would give them real reason for Robert to be a constant presence in Aaron’s life without it seeming weird or needing Ryan back. It allows him to never fully move on. The Seb/Robert connection:

1. Allows Aaron to keep Robert in his heart through Seb. He can bring him up with Seb, helping his son love his father and making sure he knows who he was/is.

2. Allows Aaron to maybe hear from Robert from time to time. Robert might have to consent to Aaron being the one to have custody of Seb and Robert wanting that, would be a nice signal to Aaron to that Robert still loves him and trusts him.

3. Allows Aaron to maybe finally deal with some of his Robert feelings in a more productive way, in a more positive way. And because he’s raising his kid, in a way that perhaps even his mother could understand and allow.

4. Allows Aaron to bring Robert up in any new relationship, not just because the show makes him accidentally sleep with Robert’s long lost gay half brother. He needs to consider Seb’s feelings in any new relationship and part of that can be whether Robert would approve of said new man in his son’s life.

5. Allows for an even more interesting return story should they ever actually coax Ryan Hawley back.

Section 3: Bringing Seb back can be a part of rebuilding the Sugdens. Obviously that was a line they used in reference to bringing John in and we’ve seen what a joke that has been. However, Seb:

1. Is the son of the ultimate Emmerdale Sugden legacy character, Robert. And he’s not retconned in the way John is. He’s someone people can watch grow up and continue the family legacy, especially if they go the full mile and give him his proper name.

2. Allows them to bring Aaron more into the Sugden family. While, yes, Seb would probably get lumped into the Dingles at times because of Aaron, Aaron can also get brought into Sugden family time, such as it is.

3. Allows them to give Vic and Harry more screen time, and use Vic’s obsessive family tendencies to get Seb back, giving her something positive to do instead of just being annoying. It maybe lets Harry become more of an actual character if he has a cousin with story potential.

4. Gives the Sugdens, such as they are, someone to rally around in general.

5. Is actually related to people like the Merricks, unlike Vic, if they wanted to explore that connection as well.

Section 4: Bringing Seb back is the perfect opportunity to use the fact that Danny is good with the kids.

1. Danny is great with the kids on screen and off and the kids seem to love him back.

2. It would be a better way to use some of his more cringe humor.

3. If they actually cast a good kid actor that Danny can play off of well, they could be such a fun little duo.

Section 5: There’s no reason not to do it. There’s nothing stopping them other than their own inability to tell a good or even mediocre story.

1. They’ve already gone through the trouble of killing Rebecca off. What was the point of that if they’re not going to bring Seb back. They’ve already done half the work.

2. It’s not contingent on getting an actor like Ryan back. They can literally cast any red headed or blonde child for the role (hopefully a good one but I digress…)

So in conclusion: BRING SEB HOME!

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Jay Kuo at The Status Kuo:

There’s a strange phenomenon occurring with the terminally online right. Ever since Vice President Kamala Harris announced that Gov. Tim Walz would be her running mate, many of the right have acted with fury. They’ve attempted to “Swift Boat” his 24-year service record in the Army National Guard. They’ve called him a racist for talking about “white guy tacos.” And they’ve dredged up a nearly 30-year old DUI—for which he took accountability and after which he stopped drinking altogether—to prove he’s somehow not so perfect a role model.

What they haven’t been able to do is make any of this stick. And yet, Walz continues to draw fire, which could otherwise have been directed at Harris. In other words, Walz is turning out to be a shrewd pick. At net 11 points positive favorability in polls, Walz is immensely more popular than his counterpart on the GOP ticket, JD Vance, who is underwater by nine. And as they continue to rail against him, the right keeps making his fundamental point about them: They are just really weird. In today’s piece, I explore some theories about why Walz brings out the worst impulses of the right just by being who he is. Then I’ll lay down some political tarot cards and prognosticate about where I think this leads.

Politico Uno Reverse

By most identity measures, Walz should be one of the MAGA right. He’s a midwestern white dude in his late 50s. He loves to hunt and is a sharpshooter. He served for decades in the military and achieved the highest enlisted rank of Command Sergeant Major. He was a football coach who helped lead his team to the state championship. And yet, despite all these identity markings, Walz in an unabashed progressive. He is for reproductive rights and an ally and protector of gay teens. And there isn’t a bigoted bone in his body. It’s as if when Harris picked him, she played, as writer Anna Gifty Opoku-Agyeman succinctly described it, a “political uno reverse.” The Walz card threw it right back at them, as if to say, “I’m a guy just like you, but without any of the weird baggage.” The MAGA GOP’s base is supposed to include white guys like Walz. But here is living evidence that they don’t have all of them or the best of them. That’s why they’re so eager to discredit him, because if they don’t, as psychologist Julie Hotard notes, then Walz will stand instead as a model of what is possible. On many levels, an appealing, white, male Democrat is a far bigger threat to their sense of identity than even a biracial woman candidate for president.

[...]

Attacking Mr. Nice Guy

For the past two decades, the GOP has shifted markedly toward being a party of cruelty, of “owning” the libs and drinking their tears, and of being as unpleasant and in-your-face as they can be. That kind of behavior has been rewarded with appearances on Fox and other right wing media, fundraising dollars from the MAGA base, and a spot at the side or in the tweets of the ex-president himself. As author Patrick S. Tomlinson observed, Walz represents what shouldn’t be an extraordinary notion: that you can be a nice guy, supportive of women, embracing of gay people, and still be all the coded masculine ideals of soldier, football coach, hunter and father that the MAGA right believed it had a lock on. Plus, you can be all those things without ever asking weird questions about menstrual cycles, chromosomes and genitalia. The right even tried to make a big deal about Walz’s efforts as governor to ensure free tampons were available to girls in school. Rumors circulated that schools had been required to also put tampons in boys’ bathrooms, but those claims turned out to be untrue, while demonstrating how off kilter the right becomes over sexuality and gender. The “Tampon Tim” moniker didn’t stick. On the contrary, there are probably many moms and dads grateful for a governor like Walz who is thinking about their daughters’ needs.

Jay Kuo explains the real reason why the right is being driven crazy by Tim Walz: The fact that he has a profile that would typify a MAGA voter (football coach, military service, loves to hunt) yet is a progressive white dude (solid LGBTQ+ rights ally before it became fashionable among Democrats).

[wangmiao]

From being stuck in the snow together in 2016 to filming Tibetan Sea Flower - Nan Pai San Shu's "Obsession" over Zhang Luyi.

Thank you for noticing my tag in the other post about the friendship between ZLY and CMH, and showing some interest. So here we go! I guess besides why Zhang Luyi (ZLY) was picked, there's also the story about how everything started. I find it rather fascinating. DMBJ's author Nan Pai San Shu, aka Xu Lei (XL) told the story a few years ago, but he mentioned it again during a livestream when Tibetan Sea flower (TSF) just started airing. The next three paragraphs are based on XL's livestream and ZLY's interviews.

Back in 2016, on a very snowy day, XL was on his way to The Mystic Nine's filming location, and was stuck on a mountain road. After waiting for a while, he thought he should go and help direct the traffic. When he got out to do it, he surprisingly found another Good Samaritan already doing what he intended to do, and yes, that Good Samaritan was ZLY.

ZLY was on his way to The Mystic Nine's filming location too. It was actually not XL who picked him for the role of Wu Laogou then. He went to guest star in that show because his university classmate Bai Yicong, the producer of the show, asked ZLY to do him a favor and just stop by to have a meeting with everyone.

So that's how XL and ZLY first met in person. Because they got stuck in the snow for a LONG time, they talked a lot about DMBJ, from Wu Laogou to Wu Xie, and even TSF (ZLY already read some of the DMBJ novels at the time, and he finished all of them before shooting TSF). At some point, XL told ZLY that ZLY's vibe reminded him of a very important character of his, which was Wu Xie. ZLY was very moved and thankful. Since they had such a good long talk, they kind of made a promise to each other that they'd work together on a DMBJ project at some point. They also each made a weibo post about meeting each other as the traffic director in the snow.

In 2017, there was actually quite some rumors about ZLY being approached to play Wu Xie in Sha Hai/Tomb of the Sea (this is not to discredit other Wu Xie actors, because it's normal for a production team to approach multiple actors for a role in the casting stage), but since ZLY had several health issues due to being injured during the filming of another show, he really couldn't be a candidate for the role.

But XL never forgot about ZLY. In 2021, rumors came around again about ZLY being approached to play Wu Xie in TSF, and this time, he agreed.

During the airing of TSF, XL did a lot of livestreams and Q&A sections on weibo. There's one post where he said: "From the state in the beginning, the state of being lost, to the Sha Hai!Xie state in the end, the entire progress is shown in TSF. I needed an actor with extremely good acting skills. From TSF!Xie to Sha Hai!Xie, there're many occasions where Wu Xie's soul is in a dark place and he might fall for his obsession. Besides Pangzi being there to pull him back, it also needs Wu Xie's strong faith and goodness, and I think it needed acting skills to show it."

In another comment to a fan's question about the choice of Wu Xie's actor, XL answered: "Maybe it represents a kind of inner demons", which I think the inner demons part can be translated to obsession.

So you can tell, it does seem that XL had this obsession to have ZLY play Wu Xie no matter what. And he never gave up the idea ever since they first met, even though by the time they could finally work together in 2022, ZLY was no longer in the best age range to play TSF!Xie (hence, sometimes you'd notice those annoying filters used to mask wrinkles on his face).

I really haven't watched all of XL's livestreams and interviews, and from the very few ones I've watched, he mentioned where ZLY impressed him. Before the shooting started, ZLY double checked with XL to see if XL wanted him to play Wu Xie as a more straightforward northerner or gentler southerner (this is not to stereotype, but to reflect the cultural and language difference), and XL reassured him to be a southerner since Wu Xie is a from the south of China. ZLY was no stranger to playing a southerner even though he's a northerner himself, as some of his best characters were from south China. This was why he dropped all his natural Beijing accent, and showed a gentler demeanor (eg. Pangzi is a typical northerner, and CMH kept his Beijing accent).

Another thing is when they were shooting the real and fake Wu Xie scene, it was filmed without any special effects or even an extra actor. ZLY played both characters each time with thin air. It impressed XL a lot because it required so much more finesse and precision on the memory, timing, and movement.

Lastly I want to show you ZLY's goodbye message to TSF that was posted on Sep 24th. He's a very dedicated, sincere, and cultured actor that often uses handwritten stuff to say goodbye to shows nowadays. And he wrote what Wu Xie and Pangzi always say to each other, the good luck and good fortune thing: "Da Ji Da Li, Gong Xi Fa Cai"

Another fun fact is that ZLY is very good at calligraphy. He used to assign different fonts to the characters he played based on their characteristics. Because Wu Xie writes in 瘦金体/Shoujin font, ZLY wrote the message also in Shoujin font. I guess you can say that's another similarity between him and Wu Xie, that they can both write in this font (I'm no expert in calligraphy, so I found an article teaching people how to write in Shoujin font. It was definitely not an easy thing to do because it advised people to learn and practice certain fonts in traditional calligraphy for a few years before even going for the Shoujin font).

Thanks for reading! If you like ZLY's Wu Xie, that's awesome. If not, that's OK. It's totally understandable. Please also know that I have zero intention to compare his version of Wu Xie to other Wu Xies. I'm sure each Wu Xie is awesome, unique, and lovable in his own way.

[clairedaring]

Compilation post of my favorite Nadao actors (Nonkul Chanon, JJ Krissanapoom, Tor Thanapob) & Bright Rapheephong giving some interview answers on why they decided to star in queer/LGBTQ+ coded series/roles, some of their takes on being in BL (Y)/Queer series.

note: if you find this post familiar, it's because i've posted this on Reddit before. reposting here for archival purposes

TOR THANAPOB

Tor Thanapob interview in April 2023 when being asked about starring in Midnight Museum (a queer-coded GMMTV series) - (translation by infinitygraph_)

Tor: I think nowadays we should stop talking about gender. It doesn't mean that I have to act with women all the time or I can't act with men at all. I feel that I have proved to everyone that, work is work, and everything is about art. Even my team who are staying with me all the time has all kind of sexualities. It's not strange if someday we want to try telling story of other sexualities that we feel that we might be able to help them telling. If you ask me if today I am like that, today I might not, but I have a chance to understand them more, so I want to do it. Q: Is it because of the spoiler that [Midnight Museum] might be a series Y (BL)? Tor: Nothing to do with it. I tell you, sincerely, it has nothing to do with the spoiler. I just want to say that you don't have to overthink about it because nothing is fixed. Actors are actors. These days there are some award shows don't divide genders into categories anymore. I think this is a great step. Actresses also don't have to act with men all the time, they can act with women. And they both being the main characters Right. Because not all the main characters from every project have to come with the word 'love'. Even if there's 'love', there're many kinds of love. It's up to the audience what kind of feeling they have. Do they feel the same as me or they even feel more than I do? Q: So that means these days you can accept the work without any limit about what you are, which genders... Everything is about the story/script-writing? Tor: Right. I admit that I was afraid before. I wasn't afraid about my image, I was afraid that I would tell the story without understanding it, because I didn't have any experience at all. But at some point I found the chance to be more open-minded, brave to act it out all the way, such as Midnight Museum...

Tor's Vogue Interview in February 2024 on Spare Me Your Mercy as another important milestone as an actor (all translation by saltymarbles on twitter)

Tor: As for Euthanasia, I’ve been interested in it just from its name. If we were to go back in time to the period of the Prime Ministerial elections last year, there was some talk regarding the laws about euthanasia. As such, I know the meaning of it but if I had to explain it, I wouldn’t dare to because I don’t know that deeply about it. Tor: Up to the day that this drama happens, the owner of this project told me he wanted to set this question before anything changed in society: ‘Actually, are humans capable of choosing their death?’. Tor: This question shot through the core of my brain and immediately, i was like: ‘I need to tell this story’. And the role that he hoped to give me also served that function too. It’s a character which sets up the question of ‘what is right?’.(t/n: "this question" likely refers to a more philosophical kind of question regarding morality which asks what does being ‘correct’ mean — what is ‘objective morality’ (if it exists)) Tor: Do the people who are really suffering have the right to ask to leave? (t/n: "leave" is just a polite way of saying die (Thai people usually don’t use directly use the word die when talking about humans, usually use a more polite way like how we say ‘passed away’ or ‘xyz has left us’) Tor: Thus I decided to play along with knowing that the timeline of Euthanasia will remain with one in a hundred (people), so I like shades of the polar opposite. If the first story is navy blue, the other will be red — not close at all.

NONKUL CHANON

Nonkul's response to the question “If you have a chance, would you consider playing in a BL series? If accepted, who do you to co-act with?” in a Facebook Q&A video in 2021

Nonkul: If that series is an interesting storyline for me, I am always open to any kind of genre. I never categorized BL series as an BL series, I just think of it as a series with another plot as part of my work. It is a normal series that can have any of the plots which I will categorize as Romantic Comedy, Drama or whatever. Thus, when I choose the BL series I want to work with, the love preference of the character does not affect my decision. If the plot of the series is interesting, of course I’m gonna do it for sure. Every work that I chose, I personally think it at least enjoyable for me. Of course, if in the future, there are BL series with plots that I find interesting, that I enjoyed the script. “Like, wow, that’s my type!”, I will definitely selected it to be my future project. A good written series is a good series. This is what I believe as an actor. For BL Series, I think I can work with everyone. I don’t think I have anyone in particular. One thing! I desire the character of that person/actor? to be close to the character in the series. At that point I will be satisfied. Sometimes, I as an actor have a chance to work with people who don't have a lot of acting experience. I will still discover something new from him as well. And there is a BL novel which I really like! [Nonkul explains the plot of his favorite BL Novel ‘Peremo’] I would prefer to choose the “heroine” role because it will be a new experience for me as an actor because it will be a new experience for me as an actor. Because basically I only play as a hero role for the main character or support character in my work, but a “heroine” role in a BL series is the only chance for me to play a character more feminine. So it is a new experience for me. [Nonkul continues raving about 'Peremo’]. But if you think that you can make [an adaptation of Peremo], please do not forget me, Nonkul! Pleaseeeeeeee, I will do my best, I promise!!! However, I’m not only fixated on this novel. I’m also open for many more BL series if there is an interesting plot.

Nonkul's response to being ask if he's worried about filming NC scenes in IFYLITA (translation by saltymarbles)

Nonkul: I have to say when I had finished reading [the novel] and it’s made me want to act (in this series). I am probably worried more about the CG because if it’s a fantasy story with time travel, if the CG isn’t good, people will feel that it’s ‘off’. Because CG is something we don’t know anything about until we see the final product. One of the reasons that I accepted this role is because for some series, when I’ve read (the script/novel) for homework, I don’t accept them because there are some scenes that are forced in just for the sake of fan service. And I’m not really into that. If it’s a natural NC scene, then I’m not bothered. I’m a person who places a lot of importance on the story in series making sense. So to me, if an NC scene is reasonable, I won’t be bothered by it. But if it seems forced, I’m not into it. It’s important to show human-ness.

Two clips of Nonkul being asked what he thinks about doing NC scenes in IFYLITA (Clip 1 and Clip 2). Nonkul said that he places great importance on the character's actions. If an NC scene is reasonable he wouldn't mind but would if it's not reasonable. For Nonkul, understanding character is very important, especially for himself as an actor. Nonkul also said previously he had rejected some BL series offers because he can feel when NC scenes are put in just for fan service, which is also a reason why Nonkul accepted to play Jom in IFYLITA is because the love scenes are natural and make sense.

JJ KRISSANAPOOM aka JAYLERR

JJ's interview in February 2024 on Spare Me Your Mercy and his chemistry with Tor (translation by saltymarbles)

JJ: The pilot of ‘Euthanasia’ has been received well since the novel has many fans already who are excited about it. JJ & Tor are similarly excited and are committed to doing their best. The chemistry between Tor & JJ need not be questioned according to JJ since they are already close with each other. The series is in the phase of pre-production currently.

One of my favorite fictional characters of ALL TIME (not just in Thai or BL series) has got to be Tangmo from Great Men Academy (2019) (the series that a lot of BL audience refused to admit it's a queer series). The character Tangmo (played by Jaylerr) was questioned by the press about his gay crush on the protagonist: "Do you think being gay affect your chance of winning the competition?" to which his reply was a stellar "Well then let me ask you something, Does being gay make my good deeds meaningless?"

This isn't the first time JJ has played a queer role, JJ has played a gay character in TWO seasons of the LGBTQ+ series Diary of Tootsies (2016 and 2017). JJ plays Gus, the love interest of the main character.

So even though many BL fans consider Spare Me Your Mercy to be JJ's "first" BL series (which I don't agree with this strict interpretation of BL series), it is definitely not his first QL (Queer Love) series nor queer-adjacent roles as shown through out his filmography.

It is also noteworthy that even during the airing of these series, JJ was already in a public relationship with his fellow actress girlfriend Thanaerng (who has also played sapphic roles). You can see that the real life relationship of JJ or Thanaerng do not influence how/what projects they take on because work is just work :D

BRIGHT RAPHEEPHONG (all translation by saltymarbles on twitter)

Bright at Mono29 Lineup event

Bright: I think that, as I’ve previously said, BL series are just like other ordinary series or movies. Like IFYLITA can be changed to be said to be more like a period drama. I feel that BL is just about two people loving each other, not about whether it’s about male-male or female-male. This series is a period drama and it’s a romantic comedy and the other series is an action drama.

Bright's Interview with LIPS Magazine

Q: What if one day, we’re sucked in by the ship? Bright: I think fans in this day and age don’t need actors to do fan service to that extent. For myself, I’ve never intended for it to be the foundation (of his work). I think it’s a matter of being partners and working together. As such, it’s somewhat good in every aspect because it’s not forcing it. But in some moments, there may some actions that may just be the result of being friends. So even if fans ship, it’s cute to me. (smiles) Q: Do you feel a sense of “newness” stepping into a full-fledged BL? Bright: I feel that BL series are another branch of acting. I don’t think of it as being a specific form of male to male communication. It’s just another type of series just like action dramas, comedy etc, it’s just another kind of role that we can play.

Bright's Interview with Praew Magazine

Q: How is it working with Nonkul? Bright: Nonkul is a person who already does a good job at his work. He does his homework and he is also good at delivering and receiving emotions when on set. It isn’t just Nonkul who is great but the other characters in this series too, this includes P’Tee, the director. We can always talk about ideas which made the work even better. If asked whether entering the scenes with Nonkul made me shy, I would say that BL series are just another branch (of acting), it is just another role. I don't think that when acting with another man, that there’s a need to feel anything. I feel that it’s just another form of work. Another thing is that our workshops were very complete. When we work together I know what level and extent I can go to, what I should do and also trying my best in how I should feel. Thus, I felt at ease working together.

Bright’s Interview with NineEntertain

Q: Are you happy to do “ship” activities like this? Bright: I feel that if there’s an opportunity with regards to being an actor, I don’t want to be stuck in ships like this. I accepted this role with the status of an actor and I want to accept various roles too. It doesn’t always need to be BL or a specific kind of series. I will have another series next year which is ordinary boy-girl relationship and not a BL series. I feel that BL series are just another category of series — not like BL series are just BL series. It’s another category like action, romcom, or drama. It’s just another category. Q: There is still the possibility of coming to act as per usual. (unclear of what the interviewer said) Bright: I feel that with every work opportunity, it’s more about the script and storyline of the work that I were to accept. For example, I accepted the role of Khun Yai in IFYLITA as i felt that it was a script that was suitable for me. I didn’t think of it as “oh it’s a BL series, I need to accept it” because to be honest, I have been contacted for various BL series but because [IFYLITA] storyline is really good, I wanted to try acting in it. Q: What is the difficulty of acting in BL as an actor? Bright: I feel like there isn’t any difference compared to regular series. I feel that when two men love each other or kiss, I don’t think of it as (me and) a man, I think of it more as each of the characters or persons. Q: Does that affect the trend of being a ship? Bright: Hmm… Actually I am not able to answer that because I feel like it depends on people’s perspectives. Because some people may prefer that (an actor) has a (onscreen) gf/bf but some people may be upset about it. I feel like the trend depends on the people’s perspectives as people have different ways of thinking (about it). I think that I am open to listening to all different opinions on this. I feel that working (in this industry), you should be able to explore different things and you should not be fixed in one thing. We need to continue moving onto the next thing. I feel that Non has his own work and I also have my own work, and other actors too have their own upcoming work. It doesn’t mean that coming to act in IFYLITA means that you stay in IFYLITA forever. Q: Some may feel that it’s sad their their ship is coming to an end and that they are gonna work with different people. Bright: Actually, there are still some upcoming pair events but as I’ve said earlier, everyone needs to continue to do their own duties as an actor. Q: What if people change their minds about shipping your ship in the future? Bright: I think it’s a normal thing. I feel that when someone (likes us), they also like our work. I feel like our fanclub likes both Yai and Jom, and they also like Bright and Non. They like the characters and that Bright and Non play these characters and they so they like us at this point. I feel like people who came to like us are also fans of other people. I feel that they are a source of encouragement for me when they like me but I am also glad if they meet someone new or support another person. I feel happy when they come to meet me and if they’re happy when they meet other (celebs), it’s a good thing for them. If there’s a new person, an older person, a regular person or a person they just met that they are happy to meet, I feel that it’s nothing to be stressed about. Let’s say a fan comes and likes me and is following my work and there’s someone new who enters and they like their work, I am glad for them to go support that other person because that person can bring happiness to the fan.

Wow, I really got carried away with this compilation but as a fan who's followed Nonkul, JJ and Tor since their Nadao days, watching them star in queer-coded series/roles like Bangrak Soi 9/1, Hormones, Diary of Tootsies, Great Men Academy... (or in Bright's case a gay character in lakorn Rivalry), I'm just so proud that they have been able to receive "BL" series script offers that they would like to take on.

I've never sat well with the difference in the treatment of the press to "BL actors" and "non-BL actors". I wish there weren't such a distinction because it feels like the notion itself holds a lot of prejudices baggage with it, to both "BL" and "non-BL" actors. To quote a friend on Reddit, "I believe most actors would feel more fulfilled if they knew their fans loved/respected them as individual artists, instead of only seeing them as one part of a unit whose value is lower when 'separated' from their official partner."

[fae-renjun]

OPPOSITE SIDES OF THE CAMERA — h.sh

ep. 2 — audition day! [𖦹 wc: 730+]

previous | masterlist | next

— leehan coughed lightly to get your attention, “huh? oh. sorry, i’m just zoned out.”

“yeah i could tell,” he replied with a laugh

you smiled and looked back down at the scripts on the desk in front of you, overwhelmed by the fact that it was finally happening, you were finally making a film. the idea of watching people act out the scenes you wrote was daunting.

“i think a couple of people are already here, should i let them in?” you looked at the digital clock above the door, the red lights on it flashed 11:49. 

"tell them to wait a bit longer, i need to um-"

"it’s ok if you’re nervous. just because it’s a college short film doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter to you."

“thanks. and thanks for helping out again, i know the other three are busy for another hour but sungchan said him and his friends should be coming to help.”

“it’s no problem y/n, we’re all doing this together.” “honestly i don’t know what i would do without you guys.”

“you’d probably suffer,” he said, trying to alleviate your stress before going out to tell the people auditioning to wait longer. 

you took a deep breath. you can do this y/n. it’s just auditions. 

leehan walked back into the studio with sungchan, wonbin, eunseok and anton in tow. you greeted each other, and you thanked them for taking the time to help. “i just want to watch seunghan embarrass himself honestly,” said anton, which was met with eunseok hitting his chest so he followed up with, “-and to help. obviously.”

you laughed, “it’s ok, there’s not that much for you to do anyway, just take these scripts,” you picked up the stack from the desk and walked over to them, “and pass them around when the auditionees come in.”

before you knew it, 10 minutes had passed by, so when the clock showed 11:59, you got the boys to call the auditionees in. it was only about 10 people, some you recognised, some you didn’t. you’d made a lot of time for auditions, knowing there were people that had classes and could only show up later. what you didn’t expect was how many people would show up.

in total, 34 people auditioned for the 4 available roles. you were in for a lot of difficult decision making that night. your frontrunners for the female lead were ahn yujin from your year and kim minjeong, a senior. you definitely knew minjeong better, having hung out with her before since her and karina went to high school together. but while both played the part better than anyone in that room, yujin brought such a realistic edge to the character, it was fascinating to watch her audition because you could really feel your character come to life. 

the male lead front runners were sung hanbin and hong seunghan. you knew seunghan from a few classes you’d taken together in the past, and because he was friends with sungchan, a highschool classmate of yours. he was on the basketball team, and you’d seen a couple of games of his. you knew he was good at basketball, but you’d never expected him to be so good at acting. in many ways he felt like your character had been lifted off the page and become a real person. you were trying desperately to ignore the tiny bias in your head towards him, courtesy of the crush you’d had last semester. 

hanbin on the other hand, was vice-captain of the dance team, and was expected to take over once shotaro (the current captain) graduated. he had a natural talent for performance of all kinds, as was evident from his audition. 

needless to say, you were exhausted once the auditions were done, letting out a huge breath once everyone but your friends had left. 

“god that was fucking tiring,” said yizhuo. taesan nodded, “too many good options, but at least the bad ones were fun to watch.” you all hummed in agreement, and packed up your things in silence. 

“so, back to the apartment for decisions? i wanna get it done by tomorrow afternoon,” you said when everyone looked ready to go. “can we pick up snacks on the way?” asked leehan. you nodded in response and the 5 of you set off to you, yizhuo and karina’s shared apartment.

a/n: sorry for the delay, the main reason this chapter took so long was me procrastinating the written section lols. also! lmk if you guys want a teaser for my next smau (a wonbin one) set in the same universe 👀

tags: @billiondollarworth @nujeskz @secretiny @soobsthings @talk420 @renjuneoo @flaminghotyourmom @academiq @luffysgfforevaa1 @hwadejectedyoung @starwonb1n @onebnis @calumsfringe

© 2024 FAE-RENJUN. All Rights Reserved. Do not copy or steal any of my posts.

[studio-of-woof]

Ruh roh I’m having a funny idea again.

So a friend and I were talking last night about the Roger Rabbit universe and I had Digital Circus fresh on my mind. So I kept thinking about a Digital Circus actor AU.

Glitch Productions being this big recording studio with the sets of like, Murder Drones, Digital Circus and Gaslight District (that one still being under construction).

The Digital Circus cast would be rather different off-camera, like for example maybe Caine is actually kinda socially awkward yet still a loud boi. And this is his first big major role in a project.

Caine Interview:

“How did you end up with the role, Caine?”

“Well… Goose has heard my voiceover performances before and was like “I gotta get this guy on for something!” And so when I auditioned I kinda just got hired on the spot!”

Pomni would still be a bit reserved but she has a lot of confidence for acting. My friend also mentioned how she would probably have a lot of experience under her belt and so she’d kinda help mentor some of the more newer actors, like Caine and Ragatha.

Speaking of Ragatha… my friend said this about her

“Yes, and Ragatha played her character while doing collage and did not expect the show to blow up. She got to finish her last year before filming it full time.”

So the idea of Ragatha’s role also being a first big major role came to mind. So Pomni tries to mentor her, which is kind of a funny image.

Ragatha would still be the mom friend of the group for sure, she would make sure someone’s okay after doing a risky or scary scene.

Ragatha and Pomni interview:

“Pomni’s been kinda helping me with my role, like just—“

“Slowly kind of directing you?”

“That, yeah. [laughing]”

“Of course not disregarding the actual director!”

“Yeah no the director’s great, you’re great. [laughing]”

“But like, with that scene in the hallway? Where I had to act all frazzled? That took a few takes but eventually I got it down pat. I think it would’ve taken longer if Pomni wasn’t there to kinda help me with finding the right… uh… tone I guess?”

“Yeah, tone. You did amazing by the way!”

“No you did amazing!”

Now Jax is a fun one. He’s not a complete douche off camera but he still likes play harmless pranks on set. You know those pixar bloopers? Kind of like that.

Like being in scenes where he’s not supposed to be.

[Filming the scene where Pomni tries to find Caine]

“And… action!”

[Pomni opens up one of the doors. Only to see Jax standing there.]

“Sup?”

“[Laughing] HOW DID YOU GET THERE??”

“Cut!”

I’d also picture whenever he has to be a douche in a scene he’d apologise immediately after when the cameras cut off.

[Filming]

“Ladies first! … No wait why would I say that?”

[Jax pushes Gangle over]

“… and cut! That was good!”

[Jax helping Gangle up]

“I am so sorry-“

“Did I push too hard?”

“Yeah nah you’re good.”

“Alright cool. [giggling]”

Also this it was mentioned during the more recent Hunicast that everyone gets caught off-guard whenever Michael plays Jax since Michael isn’t like Jax at all, I reckon it’d be the same in this universe.

Jax interview:

“Everyone on set has said to me at least once that I don’t act like my character at all and it catches them off guard completely. I just think that’s really funny.”

The idea of Gangle being a really good actor so much so that she puts on a voice for the character has crossed my mind. Much like her VA she’d have a more deeper voice. Yet when acting she puts on the high pitched and nasally voice. Also my friend mentioned how she would say “bro” off-set so that’s a funny thought.

[Filming]

“Bro my comedy mask!”

“Cut!”

“Ah my bad.”

Not much to really say about Kinger, but I did have the idea of him accidentally pulling a hip or something when he did the scene where he spazzes out.

[Filming]

“They’re the two most mentally stable and capable characters to be pai—“

“OWWW! OUH! OUUHH! I think I pulled something!”

“Oh shit you alright?”

“Ye-Yeah yeah I think- I think I should go sit down can we take 5?”

Zooble is just a very chill person off-set. They still maintain that “idgaf” attitude, but they’re less rude about it. Though they would still have a foul-mouth. There also was probably a few times where they got caught smoking weed or having an edible behind the studio after filming.

Zooble Interview:

“Did the Gloink Queen actually eat you on set?”

“Ha. Nah. The one you saw get swallowed was a prop replica of my head. They got it pretty accurately for the budget we had at the time.”

Zooble and Gangle are besties in character and off camera for sure, but there would also be times where Zooble hangs around Ragatha a lot, kind of just unknowingly adopting her as their on-set mother lol (I blame you @/mod-bee)

More interviews:

“Are you scared of centipedes, like actually?”

“Out of character? Oh yeah. Definitely. Too many legs. No thanks. [laughing]”

“Is it sometimes frustrating having to put yourself back together a lot?”

“Eh, sometimes. It is what it is, y’know? Plus as much as I have issues with his bod, it’s helped me gotten the role so… I can at least thank it for that.”

“What’s the worst prank Jax has pulled on set?”

“He hasn’t done anything remotely harmful, he’s too nice for that. But I’d say the time he made Zooble think they actually choked him out. He was a little too good at the bit I’d say. Zooble had words for him after that stunt. [slight chuckle]”

“The one time I regret nothing.”

“Did you end up getting hurt by that bowling ball Jax hurled at you?”

“Oh that? That was a stunt double! Thank god for stunt doubles. We actually go get drinks every now and again. It freaks out the local drunks every time.”

“A lot of people online have said you look like you suffer from scoliosis, is that true?”

“How can I suffer from scoliosis if I don’t even have a spine to begin with? [laughing]”

“Are all your more… cartoony movements CGI? Any special effects involved?”

“Well…. Don’t spread this around.. but… that’s all me. It’s a special talent I have.”

“Huh. Interesting. Does that mean you can actually fly?”

“I dunno! You tell me!”

[Caine slowly floats above his seat]

Bonus:

Whenever they’re not acting on the set of Murder Drones, Uzi, N and V help out with the more technical side of filming. Cameras, lights, and whatnot. Since they can fly they help out with filming bird’s eye view shots.

[yutasbellybuttonpiercing]

Orange - L.JN & N.JM

pairing: na jaemin x reader x lee jeno

au/genre: smut, fluff, humor, angst to some degree, established relationship!AU, boyfriend!Jaemin, boyfriend's best friend!Jeno, best friend!Haechan, bottom!jeno (?)

word count: 10.323 words

warnings: mxm content, threesome, kink discovery, sex toys (butt blugs, mentions of a vibrator), bunny costumes in a sexual context, dirty talk, anal fingering, anal sex (m and f receiving), muscle kink, mentions of period sex, oral (f receiving, kinda m receiving), pet names, dry humping, cumming in pants, unprotected sex (just don't)

synopsis: your happy relationship with jaemin lacks nothing but a little spice in the sheets, in your opinion. hence, you want to tickle a kink out of your boyfriend. who would've guessed that his best friend plays a huge role in said journey, and could change your relationship forever?

taglist: @yujaemna @meowniee @sfsrm-blog @legbouk @bbyjayb

Dating Jaemin is relatively easy. You get along naturally, have fun laughing until your tummies hurt, help each other in difficult situations, and grow together as people. You genuinely love him, there's no denying that, and loves you back just as much.

There are just two tiny problems.

Number 1: your sex life

It's not that it's particularly boring, it's just that you're excited to experiment with sex in every way possible, but Jaemin seems to be more of a traditional kind of guy when it comes to couple activities in the sheets. So whenever you've brought up the idea of trying something new, he's never been thrilled, and since you don't want to pressure him, you let it go. Don't get it wrong, missionary is fun and all that, and most of the time you cum at least once during the whole experience, but your heart yearns for something a little more thrilling from time to time.

And number 2: his best friend

You don't understand the relationship between two certified best bros, but you're smart enough not to question it. Jaemin and his bestie Jeno are the closest thing two people can get before being officially together, you notice, as you find them cuddling on the couch every so often. They also go on dates, but you're not allowed to call it that since they're just "bro quality times", but having a candle light dinner with your best friend is... pretty date-y to you, especially when Jaemin brings home a single red rose every other week.

All of this would surely bother you a little more if it weren't for your teeny tiny crush on Jaemin's best friend. If Jaemin acted like that with anyone else, you'd be fuming, but with Jeno, you kind of (completely) understand. The man is cute and friendly at all times, and he would have swooned you with his handsome face and ripped body alone, but his lovable personality makes it even worse. Okay, maybe it's more than a tiny crush, maybe it's a fully developed crush, but no one has to know that. It's not like you'd ever act on it or anything.

So, yeah, you can't really do anything about problem number two, but your knight in shining armor (read: your best friend) is there to help you settle your first problem.

"You could just talk to him again, you know?" Donghyuck throws in, then busies his mouth with chewing on his popcorn again. Since he's started working his part-time job at the local cinema, he always has a box of the sweet, sticky treat with him. You wonder if he'll ever get sick of it.

"I can't. I don't wanna pressure him," you retort in a quiet voice of concentration, finishing up your nails with a last drag of the brush over the nail of your thumb, lifting both of your hands in the air afterwards to admire your work of painting them in the nuance "withy witty summer fun" (orange).

"Then you should try something again."

"Do you remember last time when I hid a vibrator under the blankets for him to find during sexy time?" – you stop admiring your nails to stare at Donghyuck intensely – "I still have a fucking bump on my forehead from when he screamed and threw it at me."

"You just caught him off guard," Donghyuck reasons, throwing a piece of popcorn in the air to catch it with his mouth, but he misses, and the popcorn hits the corner of his mouth and then the ground only to roll underneath your couch. You watch morosely.

"I have a few more ideas," Donghyuck leans forward to whisper into your ear. Attentively, you listen, and carefully as to not ruin your nails grab a piece of his popcorn, munching away with brows furrowed in concentration and narrowed eyes...

Fixing your hair one last time in the rounded mirror of your bedroom, you nod at yourself, confirming that your look is perfect and irresistible. Of course you could've stuck to something as simple as pretty lingerie, but where's the fun in that? You want to tickle a kink out of Jaemin, so this is much better.

Draping yourself on the bed, you grab your phone to text your boyfriend who you know is currently playing online games and talking to his friends over Discord in the living room.

You [20:38]

Come to the bedroom, I have a surprise for you! ;-)

Jaemin [20:38]

Is it my package? Can't believe they're delivering this late...

You [20:38]

???????

It's not

Jaemin [20:39]

Can it wait? I'm winning! :D

You [20:39]

HUrry up!?!?

You throw your phone away, annoyed. But the next second, you hear footsteps approaching the bedroom door. Excitedly, you get into position, sitting on your knees in the middle of the mattress ready to bat your lashes at the person entering the room.

The door creeks slightly, revealing Jaemin's grin which soon drops into an expression of confusion. "Wha-"

"Hello there," you wink, pushing your arms together in front of your body to press your tits together.

"What the fuck are you wearing?"

"I'm your bunny, master," you say seductively, and Jaemin can't hide the amused grin creeping back on his face as he takes in your pink bunny ears that rest atop of your head, paired with your fluffy underwear set.

"Are you planning Halloween costumes already?" Jaemin snickers, stepping closer until he reaches the bed and sits down, the mattress dipping under his weight.

"I'm not. This is all for you, baby," you say and lean into his hand that reaches out to stroke over your cheek.

"It's cute," Jaemin admits, and you lean in to kiss him. His lips move softly against your own, slowly but surely building a rhythm that contains nothing but love and lust. Jaemin's hands rest on your waist, gently stroking your exposed skin with his thumbs. He gently pushes you to lay down, then presses a last kiss to your lips before sitting up, tugging on your costume.

"Don't- you want it to stay on?" You ask, surprised. You were sure it's working this time.

"Um... not really," Jaemin admits, tongue wetting his lower lip.

"Why?" You whine, frustration taking over you. As a result, you sit back up, turning around to show him the rest of your outfit, "I even wore a matching tail!"

As soon as Jaemin snorts, you know that you've lost him. Again.

"Hey-" you enter the living room. "...guys?"

On the couch sit your boyfriend and his best friend, and you're a little surprised since no one's told you he'd be over today. The thing that's a little more odd, though, is the way Jaemin's legs are draped over Jeno's lap, the older holding onto Jaemin's calves who plays with the hair of Jeno's neck.

"Oh, hey," Jaemin grins, then motions his head towards the TV, "we're watching 'Just Friends', you wanna join?"

You eye their compromising position a little longer as you try to push the weird feeling to the back of your mind, then sit beside – or rather behind – Jaemin. During the movie, you kind of feel like you're third wheeling, but that's honestly nothing new.

"Jaemin," you whisper, nudging his back. Jaemin hums, turning his head towards you, and you're sure that he must have dislocated his neck doing so. The motion doesn't go unnoticed by Jeno, of course, how could it with how they're attached at the hips. "I wanna... cuddle too..."

"Oh, of course, sorry!" Jaemin removes his legs from Jeno's lap and turns to the front, throwing an arm around your shoulders to pull you close. You sigh contently with closed eyes, but as you open them, you find your face to be really, really close to Jeno's since Jaemin's done the same to him.

You gulp, then give him and awkward, tight-lipped smile that he mirrors, then turn your attention back to the movie, trying to calm down your pulse and thoughts at how close Jeno is right now.

"Ah, my favorite people," Jaemin sighs, and you can hear the grin in his voice before he presses a kiss to your head that is quickly followed by another kissing noise, presumably to Jeno's head.

Yeah, admittedly, it's a bit weird.

"Okay, so apparently he isn't into bunny costumes! Who can blame him?" Donghyuck says after you've told him about the disaster a few days ago, his eyebrows risen as he lifts his hands in defeat.

"Me! I can blame him! I looked hot as shit and he laughed at me," you whine, hiding your face in your hands at the embarrassing memory.

"But there has to be something," Donghyuck retorts, chewing on the skin of his thumb as he loses himself in his thoughts. You, too, are trying to come up with a solution for your problem.

"Have you tried dirty talk?" Donghyuck finally pipes up after what seemed like half an hour of silence. You raise your head, tiredness obvious in your eyes as you blink at him, your forehead showing a red spot from where you'd rested your head in your hand.

"Yes, I called him master, remember?" You cringe at the thought, throwing yourself backwards to lay on your couch, though you miss, and tumble onto the soft carpet instead. A loud whine and a quiet 'ouch' leave your lips.

"Yeah, I know, but that was a bit extreme..." he points out, and you lift your head up to glare at him. "What I'm trying to say is, do it again, more subtly."

"Fuck, Jaemin," you moan as Jaemin pushes deep into you. He feels heavenly as he drags his tip along your walls, stimulating you in just the right places. Jaemin hums in response, placing his head in the crook of your neck to leave gentle kisses on your skin.

Your moans grow louder as you exaggerate them, throwing in curse word after curse word that do not seem to affect Jaemin in the slightest, his pace and sounds remaining at their original level. Frustrated, you press your lips together before putting out the most sinful words you can imagine.

"Love how your cock feels in me. You're so fucking big, stretching me out so well. Only you can fuck me like that, please, keep going, it feels so good, love your cock so much," you whimper right next to his ear, and you can feel his rhythm falter with each of your words.

You smile in victory, moving your hips to meet his thrusts. "I'm yours to use, Jaemin, I'm your little slut, please fuck me full of your cum, make me drip for days-"

Jaemin grunts, and before you can even breathe in to mutter your next string of dirty words, he-

"- put his hand on my mouth!" You whine, then grab for your pillow to scream inside of it, tears of frustration pooling in your eyes.

"That is-", Donghyuck halts to stifle a snicker, "- unfortunate."

"I couldn't even look him in the eyes for the past two days, Hyuck, I can't do this anymore," you sigh, putting the pillow down onto your lap. Maybe this is all useless. Jaemin just doesn't seem to have any interest in spicing up your sex life. Maybe you should just accept that.

"Last night I was reminded of something while watching porn," Donghyuck speaks up out of a sudden, making you snap your head at him in surprise, a frown plastered on your features as if saying "do I really wanna know?"

"There is one thing that nearly ever dude is into," Donghyuck continues and your ears pipe up at the promising statement.

Donghyuck shuffles closer to you, taking both of your hands in his, and stares deep into your eyes. You have to admit, he's great at creating a dramatic atmosphere and keeping you at the edge of your seat. He inhales, then exhales, looks down, then back up into your eyes.

"Anal."

"Hey- oh. Hey, Jeno," you say as you enter the living room, said man waving at you shyly, and you can't help but feel a little tingling in your tummy. You walk into the kitchen, place the grocery bags on the counter, and slowly begin unpacking.

"Hey babe."

You turn around to Jaemin sticking his head through the doorway, grinning at you before sending you a flying kiss. You return the action, a broad smile taking over as you watch your beautiful boyfriend's handsome face.

"Jaemin, your turn," it sounds from the living room, and Jaemin quickly excuses himself.

You chuckle, shaking your head as you go back to the task at hand, when suddenly you get interrupted again, but this time by someone clearing their throat. Once again, you turn around, and your heart skips a beat at the sight of Jeno.

"Jaemin send me here to help you since he-"

"I know, I know," you giggle, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear before noticing the action, frowning for a brief second, and letting it fall back into your face, "it's his turn."

Jeno smiles awkwardly, then moves to stand beside you. You can't say that the undeniable proximity makes you feel a little hot, and weak in the knees.

"Um, you could put this up there, if you want," you suggest and point to two packages of flour and the shelf to your right. Jeno nods and attends the task immediately, each of his large hands grabbing one package that he easily places on the shelf, biceps completely on display for you to ogle.

"And maybe put the cereals up there?" You point towards your left, the highest shelf in your kitchen that you can barely reach, and Jeno simply smiles and nods again, taking ahold of the red carton.

Your breath hitches in your throat as you watch him place it on the shelf, his shirt riding up to give you a great view of his toned abs, and you're sure that either time has started to go by way slower than usual, or he's taking his sweet time completing the task.

Once he does, however, you're a bit embarrassed, a slight blush on your cheeks as you hurry him back into the living room for 'his turn' that Jaemin just announced. When you're back in the kitchen, alone this time, you have to take a few breaths to clear your thoughts and calm down your heartbeat.

Stretched and cleaned in all the right places, you jump onto the bed after your admittedly long shower. Your hair is still a little wet, but you couldn't wait any longer, too excited at the thought of finally proposing the idea of trying anal to your boyfriend. Jaemin is already seated on the bed, phone in hand as he scrolls mindlessly through one of his apps. As soon as your knees hit the mattress, he looks up at you, a loving grin on his face.

Jaemin reaches out to push a strand of your wet hair behind your ear. He tilts his head to the side, taking you in.

"I'm on my period," you announce happily.

"Yey, no baby!"

"That's not what I was hinting at, but sure: yey, no baby!" You imitate Jaemin's words and shake your fists in the air to display happiness. Jaemin laughs at your response.

"Actually," you start speaking, then push the blanket off of Jaemin to climb into his lap, "I want something."

You start by kissing his cheek, then move further down his jaw and down his neck, taking in the pretty sounds he lets out at your actions. Your hands find their way under his shirt, stroking over his abs, then up to his chest. Jaemin hums, and starts touching you as well, moving his hands over your body lovingly.

Once again you realize that you feel extremely safe in his arms.

Soon, your hands wander further down to the hem of his pants, playing around with it a little until you motion for him to take them off.

"But-"

"I know you don't like period sex," you interrupt him, lifting your head from his neck to look at him. His pupils are a little dilated, and he looks partly confused and partly aroused, and you can feel his growing bulge against your clothed core.

"I had something else in mind," you whisper, then kiss him, gently grabbing ahold of his hands to place them on your ass. Jaemin takes the hint and begins to massage the flesh with his hands.

"What is it?" Jaemin whispers back against your lips.

"I want you to-", you halt, suddenly a little more nervous than before at the fear of him rejecting you again, but there's no use in turning back now. A shaky breath leaves your lips before you speak again, "I want you to f-fuck my ass."

As soon as it's out there, your eyes close on their own, afraid of Jaemin's reaction. After a moment, you open them again, curiosity outweighing the fear. Jaemin just looks at you. He doesn't look opposed, and he certainly doesn't look amused like the last times.

"Please just once, we never have to do it again if you don't like it. And I already cleaned and stretched and-"

"Okay."

Your eyes widen comically, mouth agape. "Really?"

"Yeah," Jaemin smiles, then goes back to kissing you. Butterflies erupt in your tummy, tickling you as your heart beats happily in your chest. You immediately feel thrice as aroused, partly because he lifted the fear of your shoulders, and mainly because it's happening, it's happening!!!!

You moan into the kiss, pulling Jaemin closer to you as you grind down on his cock. You make out for a little while until Jaemin's the one to push you off of him gently, laying you down on your stomach. Excitement rushes over you at the new position and his (admittedly very soft) manhandling. You arch your back, pushing your ass into Jaemin's direction who just grabs at your cheeks once again.

He strokes upwards over your back, then back down to your thighs, and you bite your lip in anticipation. Jaemin then removes your panties under your wide shirt, pulling them off your legs and placing them next to the bed on the floor.

The fact that you're not even able to see what he's doing makes you feel even hotter. Jaemin presses a kiss to each of your ass cheeks, stroking over the soft flesh over and over again as if he's finally able to really appreciate your butt (in a way, he is).

Hearing the drawer of your bedside table open, you wiggle your ass in anticipation, to excited to keep still at what's to come. You can hear him open the bottle of lube and push some of the liquid out onto his hand, you believe.

"I should finger you first, right?"

"Please," you whimper, feeling like you could cum the second his finger touches your hole. Jaemin chuckles behind you at your eagerness.

When he finally starts circling your hole, you feel your eyes crossing, then closing on their own, a drawn out moan leaving your lips as soon as he pushes the digit inside. You've stretched yourself enough earlier that it doesn't take long until Jaemin seems satisfied with the way you're taking three of his fingers.

"Okay, are you ready?"

"Yeah," you sigh, and as Jaemin presses his tip into your hole, you have to grab onto the sheets for support because fuck is he big and fuck is this hot. A broken moan tumbles out of your throat as Jaemin sinks deeper into you. He's doing it very slowly as not to hurt you, and that turns you on beyond belief, and you hear him grunt, seemingly trying to hold himself back from just thrusting deeply inside of you in one swift motion, for your sake.

"Shit," he curses once he's completely inside, and you feel light headed at not only the stretch, but the fact that Jaemin just cursed. Jaemin never curses during sex, and you feel so giddy inside that you can't even focus on the slightly uncomfortable, or rather unfamiliar feeling of something that big inside your ass.

Carefully, Jaemin pulls his hips back, stroking your inner walls gently, his tip catching on your rim before he pushes back in. You feel the stretch all over again, but this time you've grown accustomed to it already, sighing contently at the feeling. Jaemin takes this as a sign that you're comfortable and slowly picks up his pace. You moan at the feeling, pushing your hips further back.

As you turn your head to the side to be able to look at him, kind of, you almost cum right on the spot. Jaemin's watching the way his cock repeatedly disappears inside of your hole, then throws his head back, eyebrows scrunched together as his eyes close, a groan erupting form his throat. It's so sexy to see Jaemin finally letting go like this, viewing sex as something that is not only intimate and feels good, but can also be exciting, thrilling even, and new.

Suddenly, Jaemin leans forward, completely burying you under his weight, his cock being shoved into you completely, and he reaches between your body and the mattress to be able to stroke your clit.

"Shit, Jaemin," you whine, not sure whether to push your hips further against his own, or forwards against his fingers. You decide on a mixture of both, pressing back against Jaemin's hips as he presses his into yours, and further against his moving fingers every time he pulls back.

The feeling is nothing less than amazing, and it doesn't take long for you to come undone, shaking in Jaemin's hold as he presses himself against your ass to empty himself deep inside.

The incident of the other night should have put a stop to your obsession of finding something that really gets Jaemin going, but due to the fact of him not bringing the topic of butt stuff up ever again since then, you can't wait to test out a little more. Though you're officially out of ideas now, not even Donghyuck can come up with anything you haven't tried.

An idea strikes you right in the head as you come home from work one afternoon, finding your house to be very Jaemin-less, as you realize once you've announced your arrival and not getting a happy greeting back.

What you do find, and the sight made you jump so hard you almost lost balance, is Jeno sitting alone in your poorly lit living room on his phone.

"Jaemin got a call from work a few minutes ago, said he would be back in half an hour," Jeno informs you after profusely apologizing for scaring you.

"I see," you nod, sitting down on the couch a bit away from him.

"He," Jeno clears his throat, "told me to cook you something, but I'm really, really bad at cooking so I didn't think it would be a good idea to-"

"Oh, no, don't worry about it, I already ate," you respond, nodding your head once to emphasize your point. Jeno hums, then an awkward silence arises.

You just sit there, staring holes into the ground, and he does too, which you notice since you avert your gaze every now and then to check him out. It's honestly his fault for wearing the tightest shirt you've ever seen in your life. Without being able to stop the question from popping up in your mind, you ask yourself what Jeno would be like in bed.

Then, it hits you. Jaemin and Jeno are friends, or actually, they're probably more than that, but that means that Jaemin must have mentioned what he's into somewhere in their countless years of knowing each other, right?

"Can I ask you something?" You disturb the silence, and Jeno raises his head to look at you with wide eyes.

"Of course."

"Well..." You realize that you should have practiced this conversation a little more before just putting it out there. You decide to just go for broke. "How much do you know about our sex life?"

Jeno's eyes widen to an alarming extend, and he begins opening and closing his mouth like a fish before settling on: "Nothing!"

"Ah, really?" You nod, a little disappointed. "Has Jaemin ever mentioned something that he...'d be into?"

"We don't, um, normally talk about stuff like that."

"I see, I'm sorry, then," you nod, pressing your lips together.

"Nothing to be sorry about," Jeno says and reaches out to put a hand on your thigh. The action might seem comforting, but to you it's everything but, and Jeno must've noticed your hitched breathing as he retorts the hand as quickly as possible.

"Sorry!"

"No, no, don't be." You assure him. "It's just that... I mean you probably noticed?" You try, face scrunched up weirdly in a mixture of embarrassment and trying to look apologetic. Jeno just looks at you questioningly. "The way I behave around you must not have given it away, huh... am I that good of an actor?"

Both of you laugh awkwardly and at this point you just wish for Jaemin to hurry with whatever he's doing to put you out of your misery.

"Well, I am kind of attracted to you. But! It's really nothing serious! Nothing to worry about! Oh shit, what if this makes things weird between you and Jaemin... I should've just kept my mouth shut."

"Don't worry," Jeno pipes up, making you look at him only to realize that he sits a bit closer to you now, "I actually... I feel the same."

"Oh?"

"I mean, we barely know each other, but-"

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

It's silent for a while, and you take great interest in your fingernails.

"Can I confess something else?"

You lift your head to look at Jeno, nodding immediately as he looks about as confident as a dear in headlights. The awkwardness of the whole situation had caused you to completely miss the way your heart reacts whenever Jeno speaks.

"I kind of feel the same about Jaemin..."

"Oh," you say, eyebrows rising in surprise, "I mean, is that why you're-"

"Yeah."

"-so close. Mmh, I see," you nod to yourself. So Jeno does like Jaemin like that. Like that. Knowing this information should probably disturb you a little more, shouldn't it? But why doesn't it?

"I hope this doesn't make you uncomfortable," Jeno adds, hands fiddling with each other in his lap as he eyes you from the side.

"No, don't worry, don't worry at all," you mumble, gears turning in your brain and the new found information. And just as Jaemin opens the front door to scream "hello", you get an idea.

"That... might honestly be the best thing you've ever come up with," Donghyuck beams, then presses his face into his box of popcorn to grab a piece with his lips since his hands are occupied by you doing his nails this time.

"I know, right? I mean, it's not really a plan yet, Jaemin has to agree, first of all, and-"

"It's going to be amazing. Oh my God, I'm so excited for you," Donghyuck jumps in his seat which causes his hands to move, to what you react by scoldingly slapping the back of his hand.

"Hold still!"

"You're living the dream," Donghyuck sighs, dreamingly staring off into the distance.

"Like I said, I don't even know what Jaemin-"

"What do you think he's like in bed? Jeno, I mean."

"Actually, I have no idea. He's pretty unreadable to me, to be honest," you admit, thinking back of all the times you've ogled his body, then quickly shake your head to push the images away before you get distracted.

"Do you want to know my professional opinion?" Donghyuck asks, mouth already full of popcorn again. Of course you do. For some reason, Donghyuck has a great way of telling what people are into, that's why it's been so easy for you to tell him what you'd want to do with Jaemin. He can't read Jaemin though, unfortunately.

"Okay, I've only seen him, like, thrice, from afar, but," Donghyuck pops the last word from his lips like a popsicle, "I think he's either the toppiest top or the subbiest bottom."

"You think..."

"I mean, he's ripped, but shy as hell. Maybe he's a service top, but I actually think he's a bottom. He just gives these 'please grab my jaw, spit in my mouth, and tell me what to do'-vibes, you know?"

Nodding as you stare into the distance, you imagine Jeno in exactly that scenario, "I see it." You imagine it, clearly, Jeno underneath you, looking up at you with his cute puppy eyes, waiting for you to tell him what to do, how to please you, all while Jaemin sits behind you, pushing your hair away from your neck to kiss it before whispering 'look at our pretty boy, what should we do with him today?'...

"Anyway," Donghyuck announces to get you to snap out of your trance, "how are you going to propose the idea to Jaemin?"

"Veeeeeery slowly," Jaemin says, standing behind you as he assist you in how to properly add the egg white into the batter for Jeno's birthday cake. "Good job."

Jaemin kisses your cheek and you feel a strange tingle inside your pants at his praising, and you immediately wonder if Jeno reacts the same when he gets complimented by your boyfriend. Eagerly, you spin around, grabbing Jaemin by the back of his neck to pull him into a kiss that he lovingly returns, holding onto your waist to pull you closer to him.

When you pull back to stare lovingly into his eyes, you find nothing but pure adoration in Jaemin's. "You know, I really admire your friendship with Jeno. I like seeing you together. The fact that you're planning a whole birthday party for him, and even baking a cake."

"Really?" Jaemin grins, then presses a big wet kiss onto your cheek, and you giggle, feeling so absolutely in love with him that you almost forget about the task at hand: prepare him for the idea of a threesome.

It goes like this, all day, every day, for a few weeks. As often as possible, you try to slip in a little hint of it being really okay for you that he's so close with Jeno, that they could be even closer, and then, really, really subtly, that you want to fuck both of them at the same time.

Though Jaemin never really reacts to your words, not even when you mentioned Jeno as you were making out, and you're not sure if that's a good thing because your plan is working and his subconsciousness will do the rest for you, or if it's a bad thing and you could have spent your weeks talking to a brick wall with the same outcome.

Either way, you realized that there's someone else in this equation that you should take into consideration. Saying you kind of romantically like your best friend and their partner is one thing, but it doesn't mean that you're head over heels for the idea of, well, sleeping together.

As if the heavens above heard your silent pleas, they hand you an opportunity to talk to Jeno alone on a silver platter.

It's not often that you and Jaemin decide to go out, but from time to time, you do. One of your friends threw a party that night, inviting not only you and your boyfriend, but also Jeno. For the occasion, you wore an insanely short dress that hugs your curves perfectly, and you caught Jeno staring every so often which inflated your ego drastically. Maybe a tad too much because right now, with Jaemin tucked into bed after he's had a little bit too much to drink, you're once again sitting on the couch with Jeno.

You're downing water to prevent a hangover before heading to bed as well, your shared level of intoxication making it way easier for both of you to talk to each other.

"When I asked you about Jaemin's kinks last time," you state, eyelids a little heavy as you look over at Jeno, "it was for a reason."

"Really?" Jeno answers, smiling weakly with raised brows to urge you to continue.

"It's- not that it's bad, you know, in bed, I just want to experiment a little, but he doesn't like any of the stuff so far," you open your heart to him, and he nods along, way less shy and awkward than that night a couple of weeks ago.

"I just want him to live a little... I mean, he seemed to like the butt stuff," you admit, pouting slightly.

"Butt stuff?" Jeno's eyes widen a tad, and the sudden urge to kiss him washes over you, but of course, you'd never act on it. "Like anal?"

"Yeah."

"I can see why Jaemin's into that."

"Why?"

"Just a thought."

You hum in acknowledgement, sliding your back down the couch until you're lying down on it. "I had an idea."

"What idea?"

"Okay," you sit back up, a serious expression on your face, "you don't have to agree, or say anything really, but I've thought about..." You bite your lip, suddenly not so confident anymore. Your eyes focus on the floor, then the wall, then your fingers, just anywhere that isn't Jeno. With this proposal, you could scare him away. "...maybe... you could... join-"

"Yes!"

"Oh?" You raise your head, looking at him with slightly risen brows, "That was fast."

"Ah," Jeno breaks out a smile, hand coming up to scratch at the back of his head, "sorry if that was weird. I'm just glad you mentioned it. I... thought about it for a while now."

"Me too," you say, tongue darting out to lick over your lower lip as you check out the way Jeno's dress shirt reveals his chest and collarbones. You wonder what he would taste like if you licked over his skin, you wonder how he'd smell if you breathed in right behind his ear, you wonder how he'd feel inside you... "I've tried talking to Jaemin, but I don't know if he's up for it... maybe we should sit down with him together?"

"I think that's a good idea."

"Thank you," you smile genuinely, "and thank you for trusting me."

"Thank you for considering me."

"Last night was wild, huh?" Jaemin grins as he digs into his breakfast, completely unaffected by the way both you and Jeno can't seem to pry your nervous eyes off him.

"Sure, very wild," you nod, nervous hands fiddling with your chopsticks.

"It was pretty wild, yeah, like you said," Jeno answers almost at the same time, grabbing for his mug for the third time in the past minute, only to watch the liquid for a split second, then place it back on the table.

"Did anything happen after I went to bed?" Jaemin laughs. Seemingly, he did take notice in the way you're behaving so weirdly.

"Ah, not really, right Jeno?"

"Yeah, exactly, just nothing," Jeno supports your statement with a nod, his lips pressed tightly together. Jaemin raises a brow at him, then you, and you send him a forced smile which leads to Jaemin placing his own chopsticks down next to his plate.

"Look, guys, please just tell me. I can't enjoy my meal with the way you're both looking at me like you're wearing full diapers."

You snort at the statement, holding your hand in front of your mouth, though it obviously does nothing to conceal it. Jeno's eyes are glued to the ingredients listed on the cereal, and you decide that now has to be the right time to address the topic.

"Alright," you turn your whole body to face Jaemin, clearing your throat in the process, "so, uh, how should I put this... um, me and Jeno here," – you gesture to the guy sitting across from you who's currently occupied with chewing on the skin around his fingernails – "...spoke..."

"It's totally fine if you don't want to," Jeno throws in, looking at Jaemin who's smile seems to falter with every word you put out there.

"Yes, totally! It's just that we found-"

"- we realized that-"

"- and that made me think-"

"- I just don't want it to be weird-"

"- it was definitely not an easy decision to make-"

"- just because we've been friends for so long and-"

"- I obviously love you-"

"Guys!" Jaemin's loud voice stops both of your rambling. Then he adds a little calmer, "just tell me what it is."

You take a deep breath, closing your eyes briefly to collect your thoughts, though Jeno puts it out there before you can even open your mouth to speak.

"A threesome."

Jaemin's eyes widen, the blinks once, very slowly, then really fast, then he repeats Jeno's words with a voice that is a little too calm for your liking. You frown, biting your lip nervously, eyebrows scrunched together in worry.

It's silent for a good while, and you don't even dare to look at Jaemin, much less at Jeno.

"You don't have to-"

"Now I understand why you've been mentioning him all this time," Jaemin mutters, more to himself than in response to you. You feel your chest tighten. All this time, it had been so much fun, planning it out, fantasizing, and speaking with Jeno, that you completely forgot the fact that Jaemin could dislike the idea. Fuck, what if he thinks that you're not happy with him, that he's not enough for you, that you want to cheat on him? God, you can't even imagine how he must feel right now, possibly just simply betrayed by the people he loves the most.

"Jaem-"

"I have to go," he states, standing up, his chair screeching on the floor as he pushes it back, then he leaves the room. Not long after, you hear the front door closing.

Shit.

It's normal for Jaemin to leave when he's upset, though it doesn't happen often, so you're not really used to the feeling of having to wait for him. You decided to do a little bit of cleaning to get your mind off of things, though it's not really working. Jeno's left soon after Jaemin, claiming that it would be weird if he stayed, and he had chores to do anyway.

As it begins dawning outside, you start to feel a little bit worried about Jaemin. He's been gone the whole day, and though you want to give him space to think things over, you just want to know that he's safe. Fortunately, Jaemin knows how to behave like a decent human being, even though he's possibly mad at you, and texts you.

Jaemin [21:28]

I'm fine, don't worry. I just need time to think.

You decide to leave it at that, going to bed later with worries clouding your mind.

The next morning, you wake up, fortunately finding your boyfriend fast asleep next to you. A heavy weight falls off your chest since, whatever he's feeling right now, it's not bad enough that he can't share a bed with you. Though your heart and body ache to cuddle up to him, you peel yourself out of the sheets and move to the kitchen to find something to eat.

Not long after, Jaemin joins you in the kitchen. You feel your heartbeat increase, feeling admittedly nervous around him at the moment. Honestly, you can't wait to talk it out, but you respect his boundaries enough to wait until he is ready. There is no use in talking about it before Jaemin's ready.

Hence, you sit down at the table, eating in silence as you scroll through your phone. Jaemin sits down besides you, and you can practically feel the tension in his shoulders in your own.

Suddenly, Jaemin breathes in deeply, turns to you, opens his mouth, but closes it again soon after. You know the moment has come.

"I thought about it," finally comes out, and you nod at him, curious about the outcome, "and firstly, I want to apologize for not taking it too well. I was just surprised, is all. When I thought about it, really imagined it, I slowly began to kind of like the idea."

He holds his hand out subtly for you to take, and you do, signing him that you're not upset or hurt. The bubbling excitement in your veins you try to force down, or at least away from your face and feet to not give it away with a grin or excited movements.

"I'm glad," you bring out, and Jaemin grins widely, a sight you'd missed the past 24 hours.

"So, when?"

"When?" Your eyes bulge out of your head. You'd not anticipated for him to be so into the idea.

"Yeah! I mean, after really thinking about it, I realized that I really want to. Soon!" Jaemin nods, and grins even wider, squeezing your hand harder to support his expression of excitement. A smile takes over your face, and Jaemin leans in to kiss your cheek.

Okay, Jaemin wants it, you want it, Jeno wants it, there is nothing stopping you.

A few days later, Jeno is over once again. He's yet to learn about Jaemin's response to the whole situation, but you and Jaemin decided that it would be much more fun to catch him by surprise. While you finish getting dolled up in the safe confines of your bedroom, Jaemin and Jeno hang out on the couch in the living room.

Fancy lingerie covering your body under your oversized shirt, you shimmy over to the living room, entering carefully to see Jaemin sitting there with a grin, as close to Jeno as always, whilst his best friend looks a bit like this is a job interview, completely stiff and unrelaxed. For a second, you feel bad for him, and wonder if you should've told him, but the thought slips your mind as soon as you make eye contact with Jaemin, who bites his lip at the sight of you.

"May I sit down?" You ask, startling Jeno just a bit, his eyes immediately darting down to your exposed legs.

"Of course," Jaemin grins even wider, and Jeno nods without a word, but a gulp.

You walk over to them, standing in front of Jeno who looks at you with wide, surprised eyes, then you sit down on his lap. Jeno's eyes widen even more, wildly looking around between you and Jaemin to understand if this is okay for everybody, though his hands instinctively come to hold your waist.

"It's okay," Jaemin mumbles, gently caressing the back of yours and Jeno's neck before gently guiding them towards each other, hinting that he wants to see you kiss. Heat curls in your stomach, excitement causing a gush of wetness to seep out of you into your flimsy underwear, and you involuntarily grind down against Jeno a little.

Jeno's now lidded eyes find yours, "yeah?" He asks, and you breath out the same syllable as an answer before diving in. Jeno's kiss against your lips feels different from Jaemin's, not better or worse, just different, and you close your eyes, humming into the kiss.

Suddenly, you feel Jaemin's presence closer to you, his breath hitting the sensitive skin of your neck before he places gentle kisses there, hands roaming over your body. At this, you moan, pressing your body down against Jeno's who seems to be having a similar reaction to you, whining quietly as his hips buck up, making you feel his forming bulge.

The kiss becomes messier, needier, there's so much tongue and spit involved that when you finally part to catch your breaths, there's a string of spit still connecting your lips. You breathe heavily, feeling almost overwhelmed, but you can't dwell on that feeling because just a second later, Jaemin presses his own lips against yours.

With Jeno, kissing is new and exciting, you got to test out how he reacts to different movements of your tongue, or when you suck on his lips, but with Jaemin, it's warm and familiar, he knows exactly how to kiss you to get you all hot and bothered. Now, with this mixture of both, the feeling of Jeno's cock pressing against your clothed core, and the fact that everyone here is so much into this, you feel yourself getting wetter by the second, heat taking over your whole form.

When Jaemin pulls away, you briefly gaze into his eyes, and he grins at you before turning to Jeno. His gaze is hazy, taking in the beauty of both of you, and he seems to be pretty out of it already. It takes you by surprise when Jaemin's eyes dart down to Jeno's lips, and you gasp as soon as Jaemin closes the gap between him and Jeno, and presses their mouths together. Jeno seems to be just as surprised as you are, but honestly, neither of you is complaining. You find that it is really, really fucking hot to see your boyfriend make out with his best friend, you grind down against Jeno even more, noticing the way only one of his hands guides the movements on your hips while the other is busy roaming Jaemin's body.

When Jaemin pulls back, their eyes are glazed over with lust. Jeno's lip is trembling a bit, and as they gaze into each other's eyes, you suggest to move over to the bedroom.

As quickly as possible, you scramble over into the bedroom. As your bodies hit the mattress, it's not long until your clothes are discarded somewhere on the floor, leaving you in nothing but your underwear.

Soon, you find yourself seated between Jaemin's legs, your back pressed against his chest as he gropes at your breasts. Jeno appears between your own spread legs, laying down on his stomach.

"Eat her out," you hear Jaemin's raspy voice behind you, and you mewl at his dominant behavior.

"Y-yes," Jeno answers, then questioningly finds your eyes to ask for your consent, to which you nod immediately. He gently peels your underwear off your legs, exposing your glistening hole to his eyes. He nothing but whimpers at the sight, then goes straight to work of licking a fat stripe over your folds.

You moan, pressing your hips forward against his face, your hands coming to grab at his hair, but Jaemin catches them before you can bury your hands in the older's locks, caging you between his arms.

A shudder washes over you, and Jaemin leans down to whisper into your ear, "just enjoy it."

Your brain feels clouded with lust as you nod weakly, trying to focus on the way Jeno begins sucking on your clit, but Jaemin's hot presence behind you, and the way his cock presses against your back, makes it hard.

"This is so fucking hot," you hear Jaemin say, as Jeno plunges his tongue into your hole. At this point, you're a panting mess, moans spilling out uncontrollably as you relish in the feeling of the two boys. "You're doing so well, Jeno."

Noticing the way Jeno's hips press against the mattress repeatedly, you feel the knot in your stomach tighten. And when Jaemin tells Jeno to push his fingers into you, it's not long until you feel it snap, clenching around Jeno's fingers as you cum hard.

"Good girl," Jaemin mutters into your ear, and you feel like you could cum again just from that. You wonder what's gotten into Jaemin to make him all dominant like this, but you can't really form any coherent thoughts at this point.

"G-good boy," you let out shakily, maintaining eye contact with Jeno who looks about as fucked out as you, and Jaemin chuckles behind you. Weakly, you move to the side, and as Jeno gets up, you notice the way his cock strains against the fabric of his underwear. He looks so fucking hot, you notice, taking in his strong muscles and the way they flex when he moves. You pull him closer by his neck, attaching your lips to his as Jaemin grabs ahold of Jeno's small waist, pulling him closer to himself until Jeno's laying on top of him.

Parting from Jeno, you take in their position, and your post-orgasm mind can't comprehend that it's happening, you're having a threesome, and Jaemin is so into it that he begins pressing Jeno closer against himself until the older's grinding his bulge against Jaemin's.

From your position, you can't do much but watch, but you don't mind at all, not with how fucking hot they look dry humping each other, desperate moans rumbling in Jeno's throat as he buries his face in the crook of Jaemin's neck. Jaemin's also moaning deeply, thrusting his hips upwards to meet Jeno's needy movements.

It seems like they're losing themselves, staring deeply into each other's eyes as they rut against one another. You notice Jeno's movements getting sloppier, his whines grow higher as he desperately humps against Jaemin for release.

"Such a good boy, Jeno," Jaemin mutters into Jeno's ear, sounding almost as desperate, and that's apparently all Jeno needs to come undone, shuddering as he releases a deep groan, hips bucking as he cums into his boxers. Jaemin's moaning out loudly as well, and you'd recognize that sound anywhere as you realize that Jaemin just orgasmed at the same time as Jeno. The younger's grinning once again, petting Jeno's head as the older's coming down from his high.

Jeno flops onto his side, breathing heavily with closed eyes, you wonder if he finds the situation as surreal as you do.

Donghyuck shrieks as he slaps your arm, excitedly trembling in his seat at your surprising news. "You fucked?"

"Yes." You smirk proudly, eyebrows raised confidently.

"Okay, then I don't understand why you're not spilling every single detail right now?" Donghyuck stares at you with faux distress, furrowed brows and an agape mouth accompanying his crossed arms in front of his chest, which makes you chuckle.

"Okay, so I sat on Jeno's lap and we kissed, then Jaemin kissed me, then Jaemin kissed Jeno, and-"

"Hold up." Donghyuck's eyes are widened, mouth agape before he catches himself, squinting at you. "Did I just hear that right? They... kissed?"

"I was surprised as well, but then we moved to the bedroom and Jaemin had the biggest dom-top-daddy-energy I've ever experienced when Jeno ate me out," you say, recalling the moments makes heat pool in your stomach.

"Holy shit," Donghyuck gasps, not really grasping that fact that this actually happened, holding his hand in front of his mouth dramatically to support his reaction.

"Yeah, and then they started dry humping each other like animals, i don't know, it was super hot," you sigh dreamily, biting on your forefinger.

"Wait- and what did you do during all of this?"

"I watched," you say, furrowing your brows, "duh!"

"You mean," Donghyuck leans forward, a serious expression on his face which you mirror, "they got each other off and you just sat there?"

"You make it sound bad, it was hot!"

"Sorry, sorry. I just can't believe you initiated a three-way and then you were third wheeling..."

Crossing your arms in front of your chest, you realize that he does kind of have a point. You had just watched for half of the time, and while it hadn't been a problem in that moment, you certainly see it now. Not that it is bad, you just find it odd. And you decide that it's something you should talk to Jaemin about.

"Honey, we should talk," you say as you step foot into your shared bedroom. Your boyfriend's sitting on the bed, ready to go to sleep like every other night waiting for you to finish up with your routine to join him under the covers. While his eyes were glued to the screen of his phone just a moment prior, he does look up at you as soon as you enter.

"Ooh, sounds serious," he grins, and you don't have it in you to send back anything but an awkward smile as you feel kind of nervous just slipping under the covers next to him. "Shoot."

"So about the other night, you know, when we invited Jeno to-"

"It was amazing don't you think?" Jaemin interrupts you with a certain sparkle in his eyes you've never seen before.

"Yes, but-"

"We should really do that again. I mean, if you're okay with it, we could go a little further even. I really enjoyed myself in this kind of dominant role. I liked watching you touch Jeno and the other way around," Jaemin explains excitedly, his whole body jerks happily making him seem like a bunny. You've never seen him quite like this, well, downright thrilled because of sex. You can't help but crack a smile.

"I liked it too," you admit. Jaemin's grin widens even further, eyes wandering down your face to look at your lips.

"You were so sexy, baby," he mumbles, the grin still evident, but his whole demeanor changes from goofy to sexy within seconds. It makes you gulp visibly. "Such a good girl for me and Jeno."

His hand lifts up to stroke over the side of your face, then slowly down your neck towards your chest. You shiver, thighs pressing together lightly without you even noticing. You hold steady eye contact with him as soon as his gaze meets yours again, biting your lip, nodding and humming in agreement.

Jaemin leans forwards, his lips ghosting over your own and just as you think he's about to connect them in a passionate kiss, he pulls back, hand grabbing your jaw instead. Your eyes widen in surprise and shock because who is this guy?! That does not feel like your Jaemin at all... but you're not opposed to it by any means.

"Why don't you be a good girl just for me tonight, and we can invite him another time again, yeah?" Jaemin's hand slides down to your throat, slowly moving to tower over you and guiding you to lay on your back with him on top of your body.

"A good slut just for Nana, yeah?" He whispers, and you nothing but whine as his lips finally press against yours. That night, he doesn't sleep with you, he doesn't make love to you like he usually does, but rather fucks you into the next century. You can't even count how many times he's made you finish. And every time he spilled his cum deep inside of you, making you think he's finally going to let you rest, he started moving all over again, ripping another orgasm from both of you.

"Babe~"

You sigh, half-playful, half-serious because Jaemin can't stop mentioning that he wants Jeno to join you again. You are thrilled, of course, because you finally found that one thing that gets him so excited, but at the same time, you're still a little worried. Worried because 1) you're scared of third-wheeling once again and 2) because you've been recently reminded that there are, in fact, actual feelings involved, and you're not sure how to deal with them yet.

On the other hand, it feels like it's been months since you've last laid your hands upon Jeno's gorgeous body, and as much as you want to be mature and deal with these aforementioned risks first, you can't completely shut down the possibly selfish part of your brain that's labeled We want Jeno.

And besides, are you really selfish if you're granting your boyfriend's biggest wish? I don't think so.

"Oh my God, just call him already!"

"Ai, thank you~" Jaemin kisses you wetly before storming out of the room to do exactly that, and you can't help but smile at him before wide-eyed-ly realizing that you're not ready to be greeting any guests so you strike over into the bathroom to take a shower.

An hour later, you almost draw a fat line of lipstick diagonally over your face as you jump as the door bell rings. Before you can even comprehend that you have to get up and open the door, you can already hear Jaemin's naked soles flop over the wooden floor with fast steps as he hurries to let Jeno inside. A smile forms on your lips as you imagine the excitement that must be flowing through him.

With a last quick spray of perfume, you sigh and get up, opening the door to greet Jeno as well. You're only halfway surprised as you find them pressed against the hallway wall, mouths clashing against one another in a feverish kiss.

Clearing your throat to announce yourself, you break them apart.

"Babe," Jaemin says breathlessly, his back pressed against the wall, and Jeno turns to face you, pure, primal lust displayed in his eyes as he leaves Jaemin be and takes too quick steps approaching you before wrapping his arms around your form and pulling you into a similarly heated kiss.

To say you're surprised would be an understatement, but you have no intent to stop him, your attention only on Jeno, the way his lips taste and the way his already forming bulge presses into your middle, and Jaemin's who's hurried over as well, pressing himself between the supple cheeks of your ass. This position feels suffocating in the best way possible, and Jaemin urges you towards the bedroom, quickly getting impatient at the lack of attention.

Jeno hoists you up, and soon after your back hits the mattress with a thud, four hands touching you all over, quickly peeling you and everyone else out of every single piece of clothing. You already feel a little hazy, core wet at all the attention you're receiving, heart thumping away happily in your chest as you're manhandled into a similar position as last time.

Jaemin's chest is pressed against your back, deep voice tickling at your throat while Jeno's fingers tease through your wet folds, praising you about how ready you seem for them, and you whine embarrassingly loud.

"Such a pretty girl, want Nana to fuck you, baby?" Jeno asks, and his confidence is a little unfamiliar considering his behavior during your last time together, and you briefly wonder whether they planned this out.

"Yeah, want Nana to fuck you?" Jaemin's voice tickles over your entire body like sweet honey, your head moving on it's own to nod at the question. Your gaze falls down to watch Jeno align Jaemin's cock with your hole – and God is it hot.

Jaemin thrusts into you from below, setting a slow pace of deep strokes from the start. The feeling alone is mind-blowing – of course, Jaemin knows how to use his cock – but the way Jeno's eyes are trained on where you and Jaemin are connected does things to you that you cannot comprehend.

Moans flow freely from between your lips, accompanying Jaemin's deep grunts and Jeno's gasps just as he leans in to wrap his lips around your clit. You nearly jump at the action, head falling back onto Jaemin's shoulder who just chuckles at your weakness.

"Hm, is he eating you out good?" Jaemin mumbles, then moans out. Your head snaps back up, taking in the way Jeno's tongue shifted lower to lick just where you and Jaemin are connected, then even lower to suck on Jaemin's balls.

Incoherent babbling falls from your lips as the knot in your lower tummy tightens, ready to snap at any time, and luckily they understand, Jeno coming back up to tongue at your clit, innocent eyes clouded with eagerness to please staring up at you.

The knot finally snaps with such force that you see white, cunt clamping down around Jaemin's length as you orgasm, with Jeno licking up everything your high has to offer.

Haziness clouds your brain. You're in the n-th position of the night, Jaemin and Jeno still going at it like insatiable rabbits. You're trapped beneath Jeno's body, his hot muscles pulsating above you, inviting your incoherent thoughts to wonder what it would feel like to sink your teeth into the pale flesh, with his cock hitting all the right spots deep inside you, his head thrown back and delightful grunts meeting your eardrums. Behind him is Jaemin, buried to the hilt inside of his best friend, pearly drops of sweat trickling down his temples, a lazy grin rounding his cheeks.

"'m gonna f-fucking-" Jeno can't even finish his sentence, his head dropping to lay in the crook of your neck, puffing clouds of exhausted, hot air against your sticky skin. A long whine accompanies his orgasm that he makes sure to fuck so deeply into you that you're sure you're going to spot your panties for the following week. Jaemin leans forward as well, creating direct eye contact with you as he snaps his hips a few more times, drawing tiny gasps from Jeno that you're only able to feel due to your undeniable closeness, then releases as well.

Dropping down beside you, everyone tries to catch their breath. Without much strength left in your muscles, you cuddle into Jeno, and Jaemin gently holds your hand in his. It's quiet, but it's not silent, it's cozy, but not stuffed.

"I fucking love you guys," Jeno says, and you're sure that he falls asleep mere seconds later. Love. Your eyes snap open, head lifting gently to find Jaemin already looking at you, a grin spreading wider the longer he watches you. Without words, you know what he's hinting at. This is just the beginning of something new, something great.

© 2023 YUTASBELLYBUTTONPIERCING all rights reserved — please DO NOT translate, take, nor repost any of my works.

[nardos-primetime]

TW FOR CHILD NEGLECT/ABUSE & SH

More info under the cut.

Things were hard at first. After the (final) lab explosion, it took a while for Lee to even want to leave it. A part of all of them kind of hoped Muninn and Huginn would come back for them.

Where Draxum's inconsistent dehumanization and high praise only served to build a connection that has rules such as "No calling me foolish names like Dad, only Father if you truly insist." his two henchmen provided more security for the boys.

Once they did leave, Lee- Or Blue. Because names were forbidden from Draxum. They were Red, Orange, Purple, and Blue. Nonetheless, Lee remembered something about getting above ground, into human society, so that's where they worked to get.

Mic has a bit of a temper if he feels like he's being treated like a baby, he'll often respond angrily. (Such as when Lee and Donno try to hide their arguments from him.) This isn't to say he doesn't try to stay cheery, he often plays more of the role of what he thinks a little brother is. Sometimes he cant even control the act, sometimes it feels like his energy levels aren't under his control. He's ironically cooped up by the situation, making him rather antsy since he doesn't have the safety to be free and do things for fun. He is also the one that often collects food and tries to prep some kind of meals for the group. He looks up to Rage and Lee the most since they work to keep happiness between the four.

Rage is mostly nonverbal, only very occasionally will he talk, often quietly. In most cases, he uses body language or other noises. He struggles with his own anger and urges to lash out, which results in him doing the opposite to not scare the others, trying to become as harmless as possible towards them. He tries to help Mic feel better during Donno and Lee's arguments (normally pisses Mic off more.)

Donno is confident. Not really, he often makes jokes and pushes his own ego to ignore the uncertainty of their situation. He is often sitting down or carried by his brothers since his right ankle tends to hurt, possibly from the growth enhancer they'd all been given. He's also the most hungry, so the lack of consistent meals hit him the hardest. He tries to avoid problems, leading to arguments with Lee about what they should be doing, (he normally caves in, though.)

Lee became the de facto leader, leading the others around to try and find their father, which he does believe loved them. Just in his…. Own way. Lee finds the places for them to sleep and takes up responsibilities when needed. Every day, he insists that they'll find their dad (they still follow the name rule, but since dad isn't here, it's not that bad to call him that, right?) Everything will be okay! Even if he's starting to have his own doubts. He's their hope. He can't give up.

Donno always gets hungrier first.

Donno starts an… ugly habit between his brothers and him. And an uglier hunger for a... certain type of meat.

(This is messier ironically since the first draft I had to delete cooked so hard but here's some lore for the beginning Era of the au.)

[five-rivers]

Cracked Clay Cup Chapter 9

@greatbigolhampuckjustforme

“Okay, for the next one,” said Danny, doodling on a piece of paper, “I think I’m going to pick from the older end again.  Like, I’ve done number one, number five, and number seven, so that leaves two, three, four and six.  Could just do the middle one, four.  That’s the biggest group.  Or I could do one of the single people.”

“You could pick any of them,” said Clockwork.  He placed another piece into the puzzle he was working on at the dining room table.  

“I know,” said Danny.  “I’m just thinking out loud.”  He’d been leaving Clockwork’s after breakfast, but he’d broken that habit this time around.  It was almost noon.  He just couldn’t make up his mind.  

Part of him wondered if he should have stayed with Vlad a bit longer.  Maybe he could have pushed him to tell the truth.  But… he didn’t know how Vlad would have reacted to that.  What if it had been bad?  

On the other hand, it might have been good to know if his reaction to being pushed had been bad.  If it had been, Danny would have known not to pick him.  Maybe… maybe deciding to leave was a little… cowardly.  

“Hey, Clockwork?”

“Yes?”  He looked up from the puzzle, but kept inserting pieces.  

“Am I different than I was with my memory?  Like, am I acting different than I would have, if I still remembered?”

“Of course.  You would have knowledge that you currently do not, if you remembered.”

“Okay,” said Danny.  “Sure, I get that.  But what about… I’m… Am I acting like, not as… brave?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, Vlad said I was sort of a, I don’t know, a superhero, kind of.”

“I see.”

“But I kind of feel like if I had been, then I’d be more…  I would have acted differently, with Vlad.”

“Hm,” said Clockwork.  “I think I understand what you mean.”

“And?” prompted Danny.  

“And, I have often found that it is easier to be brave if you have something to be brave for.  When it is not a choice so much as it is a necessity.  You do not need to be brave, here.  This isn’t one of those situations.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“I am,” said Clockwork.  “You aren’t unmonitored, when you are visiting the candidates.  Part of my role is to enforce the rules.”

“I don’t really see how that means I don’t need to be brave in this situation.  I kind of feel like there’s a lot I need to be brave about, here.  I could be hiding out in my room instead of out here.”

“You could be.”

“But I’m not.  I’d say that was… brave…  Wait, that’s not the position I was arguing before.”

“It is not,” said Clockwork.  

Danny scowled at him, then slouched down in his chair.  “You know what else is brave?  Your new decorative choices.”

The walls of the kitchen - not to mention the rest of the house - were now covered in clocks of various sizes and shapes.  

“Mhm.  Well, in your absence, I must occupy myself.”  

Danny looked around the room again, eyes lingering on the clocks.  “I don’t know that I’m that… occupying.  Like, I’ve not been here for more than a day at a time, and usually less than that.”  He hesitated.  “And we don’t… do that much together, do we?”

“We’re doing things together now.”

“I’m mostly just complaining at you about my choices, but okay.”

“Even so.”

“What if I just… take another day?  To decide who to go to next, I mean.”

“Take as long as you want.  In the meantime, you could help me with this puzzle.”

“Or,” proposed Danny, “we could play some video games together.  A lot of the ones I like are multiplayer.”

Clockwork put the remaining puzzle pieces back in the box.  “We can certainly try that.  I’ve never played before.”

Danny grinned.  “I think you’ll like it.”

.

“Are you sure you’ve never played before?” asked Danny.  

“Quite.”

“You’re good.”

“I have always prided myself on my timing.”

Danny groaned as he died again.  

.

“Okay, I’ve made my decision,” said Danny, a few days later.  Breakfast that day consisted of french toast.

“Really?”

“You don’t have to sound so skeptical.”

“This is my normal voice.”

“Is it?”

“It is.  What is your choice?” asked Clockwork.   

“Eager to get rid of me?”

“I am merely curious.”

“Sure,” said Danny.  “Sure you are.”

“Daniel,” said Clockwork, with a faint air of exasperation.  

“I want to visit the third person,” said Danny.  “I figure I might as well be symmetrical.”

“It’s as good a system as any.  Do you want to leave now, or later?”

“Now,” said Danny.  He did not say, ‘before I change my mind again.’

“Very well.”  

Clockwork raised his staff, a spark of blue swirling off the tip.  The portal would form in just a split second.  

“I’ll miss you,” blurted Danny, impulsively.  

Clockwork’s eyes widened slightly, but he did not respond before the portal swept Danny away.  

The first thing Danny noticed about the new place was how cold it was.  He wrapped his arms around himself, and cursed himself for not realizing that someone named Frostbite of the Far Frozen would live somewhere cold.  

“Oh, dear,” said a deep voice.  “Great one, my apologies.  I did not realize your core would be inactivated.”

Danny was bundled into a pair of furry arms and swept away to a much warmer area.  That wasn’t to say it was warm.  Just.  Warmer.  

“Oh, wow, that was cold,” said Danny.  He rubbed his arms and wrapped his tail around his knees.  

“Yes,” said Frostbite.  “Usually that’s not an issue for you.”

“I can’t imagine why not.”  Danny shot a look at his latest temporary guardian.  

Frostbite was a huge, tall, white-furred ghost.  He had a long muzzle and horns, along with ears that had more than a passing resemblance to Danny’s.  Danny ran a hand over his own ears, wondering.  Were they related somehow?  

“Generally,” said Frostbite, “in the normal course of things, that is, you are quite cold-resistant.  You have a cold core, like myself, although that aspect of your core seems to have been rendered dormant.”

“Vlad mentioned cores,” said Danny.  

Frostbite's furry eyebrows went up.  “You have already met Plasmius?”

“Um, yeah.  Just before you, actually.”

“What?!”  Frostbite patted Danny over with his large, paw-like hands.  “Did he harm you?  Are you injured?  Did he do anything to you?”

“Um,” said Danny, stepping back.  “No.  He was pretty chill actually.”

“Chill.”

“I mean, like.  He didn’t do anything bad to me.  He was pretty nice, even though he didn’t tell me we’d been enemies.  The Dairy King did.”

Frostbite got a sort of pinched look on his face.  “The Dairy King was assisting him?  How unusual.”

“I don’t know about assisting,” said Danny.  “He did tell me about how Vlad and I used to fight and all.”

“Even so,” said Frostbite.  His eyes were still roving over Danny, apparently worried.  “I would like to give you a full medical checkup.  I was unable to do so… before.”

“Before the trial?” asked Danny, tilting his head to one side.  He felt one of his ears flick.  

“Yes,” said Frostbite, heavily.

He seemed to be struggling with whether or not to say anything else, so Danny took the opportunity to look around.  

The room he was in was… strange.  There was really no other way to put it.  It was small.  Only about the size of Danny’s bedroom at home with Clockwork.  The walls, where they were visible, looked like ice-covered stone, but they mostly weren’t visible.  They were covered with layers of fur and strange tapestries.  Some of the tapestries looked more or less like Danny imagined tapestries to look: lengths of tightly-woven and embroidered fabric.  Others looked more like carpets.  Still others were embroidered furs.  The floors, too, were covered in layered furs and carpets.  Illumination was provided by globs of floating blue fire.  

Other than that, the room was empty.

“I was your doctor before, Great One.”

They looked at each other for a long moment.  Danny imagined that Frostbite was facing the same dilemma he was.  He couldn’t decide what to ask next.  He couldn’t decide what was safe to ask.  

“So, you’re a doctor?”  That seemed like a safe question.

“I am,” said Frostbite.  “Medicine for cold core ghosts is one of the specialties of my tribe.  When you have been ill or injured in the past, we have taken care of you.”

Danny hadn’t really thought all that much about the social structures of ghosts.  He remembered the Observants, and he had a vague recollection of kingdoms and tribes being a thing, but he was far more familiar with the workings of a republic, his human life taking precedence in this case.  He made a mental note to ask Frostbite more about how tribes worked later.  

“And I have a cold core like you?  That’s why you’re my doctor?”

“Yes,” said Frostbite.  

“Are we related?” asked Danny.  Frostbite’s tail - what Danny could see of it, anyway - wasn’t quite like Danny’s, but he did have white fur and pointed ears, so…

This question surprised a laugh out of Frostbite.  “It would be my honor, but, no, Great One.  Although we share some similarities, that is not one of them.”

“And you’re calling me Great One because…?”

“Because you saved my people, and, indeed, all the Infinite Realms, from a terrible fate when Plasmius released Pariah Dark, the old king of ghosts, from his prison.”

“The superhero thing?” asked Danny.  

Frostbite chuckled.  “I believe you referred to your tendencies as that a few times in my hearing.  You, and your friends.  But, truly, it would give me a great deal of peace if you let me make sure that you are, indeed, healthy, and that whatever technique they used to remove your memory has not damaged you unduly.”

“You could tell if it did?” asked Danny, suddenly a lot less reluctant.  

Frostbite nodded, gravely.  

“Okay,” said Danny.  “But I’m not sure if I can really handle it if the way there is as cold as the way here.”

“I will carry you,” said Frostbite.  “The medical bay itself is heated, to accommodate your human half, as are many of the rooms.”

Danny sighed in relief.  This would have been a very short visit if they hadn’t been.  This room was fine, but he didn’t like the idea of being confined to such a small space indefinitely.  

“And perhaps we could take one of these,” said Frostbite, pulling a thick, fluffy-looking fur from one of the walls.  “Just to add another layer between you and the cold.”

“Right,” said Danny, feeling nervous again as he contemplated being bundled up like that.  It was fine.  Clockwork was watching.  Monitoring.  Whatever.  He had the pocketwatch.  

It took a bit of maneuvering for Danny to get into a comfortable position, but once he did, Frostbite wasted no time pushing aside the thick, curtain-like door of the room and walking back out into the cold.  Danny drew in on himself, shivering, despite their precautions.  

(In a slightly less frigid environment, being held in Frostbite’s arms would have been downright cozy.  He made a note to experiment later.  If Frostbite was trustworthy enough for cuddles.)

“S-so,” said Danny, trying to take his mind off the cold.  “Wh-what did I do with Pariah D-Dark?”  Vlad had told him a version of the story, but he doubted it was complete, especially given that he’d failed to mention anything about who released Pariah Dark in the first place.  

“You rallied the ghosts of the Wastes,” said Frostbite.  “a veritable and largely lawless rabble.  You convinced them to fight, even convincing Walker and Dorathea of Mattingly to lend their power.  You led them against Pariah Dark’s thrall armies, and stormed his keep using a suit of armor that sapped your life even as it increased your power.  You fought the mad king one-on-one, and forced him back into the Sarcophagus of Forever Sleep, whereupon Plasmius was able to lock him in again.  You very nearly died, you very nearly ended, and were willing to do so, in order to stop Pariah Dark.”

“H-huh,” said Danny.  He couldn’t really imagine doing something like that.  But it did more or less line up with what Vlad said… except that in Vlad’s story, Danny’s role had been less… prominent.  

They reached the medical bay, a large cave full of mysterious machinery, shortly after that, and Danny was again happy to find himself in relative warmth.  Frostbite started explaining the medical exams he wanted to carry out, and Danny listened half-heartedly.  

“Hey,” he said, during a lull between explanations.  “Do you think you could fix my amnesia?”

“It is not impossible,” said Frostbite, slowly, turning away from the thing he’d been fiddling with .  “But it would depend heavily on what method they used to give you that amnesia in the first place.  For example, Lethean waters are very effective and entirely irreversible.  On the other hand, they could have removed and stored your memories via a memory jar, in which case you would need to have that jar to recover your memories.  Alternatively, there are several ways by which your memories could be bound in place, or obscured.  However… attempting to restore your memories would be a blatant violation of the rules of this trial.”

“But would you try?”

“If you asked me to, Great One.”

Danny frowned and looked away.  “Why are you doing this?”

“Giving you a medical checkup?” asked Frostbite.  “Because I am concerned for your health.”

Danny waved that answer away, and forced himself to look back at Frostbite.  “No, I mean, why are you participating in this trial?  Why do you want custody of me?  I mean, if you’re just my doctor, that’s a bit weird, isn’t it?”

Frostbite huffed.  “I do like to think of myself as more than ‘just’ your doctor.  I mentored you extensively after your ice powers developed.  I daresay you are one of my more successful students, at that, even if your, ah… first attempts at control were rough.”

“You know what I mean.  You call me ‘Great One,’ and that’s flattering and all, but it isn’t really a parental kind of thing, is it?”

“I suppose not,” said Frostbite.  “It would bring me nothing but joy if you did choose me, Great One, and I would do my utmost to live up to the task and dedicate myself to parenting you, but I do have something of an ulterior motive in joining this trial.”

“What is it?” asked Danny.  

“I came to warn you.”  Frostbite squared his shoulders.  “I never met your birth parents, only your sisters, but from your words and theirs…  I believe they harmed you, Great One.  Intentionally and repeatedly.  And I believe that it is their actions that necessitated this custody trial.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” said Danny.  “Why?  Why do you think that?”

“First,” said Frostbite, “you mentioned to me on several occasions that your parents were ghost hunters.”

“Oh.  Ow,” said Danny.  

“Secondly, a few times - only a few, but they stand out sharply in my memory -  you visited me for help after being affected by one of your parents’ weapons.  I have the records of those visits here.  You brushed aside my concerns regarding your parents then, saying that they did not know you would be harmed, or that the incidents were mere accidents.”

That… certainly sounded bad.  

“Thirdly, and finally, the existence of this custody trial in and of itself.  These are beyond uncommon, even considering the Observants’ interest in you.”  Frostbite’s snout wrinkled.  Speaking of which, you should be wary of them as well.”

“Already ahead of you on that one,” said Danny, thoughts racing.  “But I thought the reason for the custody hearing was that they were dead.”

Frostbite’s eyes widened slightly.  “Who told you that?  I know that at least one of them is participating.”

“What?” said Danny.  “Are you sure?”

“Yes.  My spy wasn’t able to be more specific than that, curse the Observants, but I have full confidence in them as a member of my tribe.”

“Do you know their names?  What they’re called, what they look like?” asked Danny.  

Frostbite shook his head.  “As I said, I never met them.”

“Maybe we can work it out by elimination, though,” said Danny.  “I could tell you the names of the other people on my list of candidates–”

Frostbite’s head-shaking became more frantic.  “Goodness, no.  I’m limited in how specific I can be about the…”  He sighed.  “Competition.”

“Right,” said Danny.  “But you just came to warn me?  That’s all?”

“And to give you some measure of safety.  I knew your parents were participating, I knew Plasmius would not miss the chance, and I haven’t a clue about who else might be involved.  I wanted you to have at least one safe option.”

That was nice and all, but Danny couldn’t help but feel a little put out.  He didn’t want to be an obligation that someone was picking up because they felt like they had to.  

He was probably just being ungrateful, though.  

“Great One?” asked Frostbite.  

“Hm?”

“I asked if you would like me to try to get your memories back.”

“Oh,” said Danny.  He thought about it for a while.  “No.  I don’t want you to get in trouble.  But maybe… could you find out what’s going on with my core?  And help me remember how to use those ice powers you mentioned?”

“Of course, Great One!  It would be my pleasure.”

[sehodreams]

ofc character toxification is fine! 💣

TW and Tags: toxic!conservative!riize, sexist behaviors and thoughts, don't know what else to put.

Thank you, this was interesting hahaha, it kind of became in a list of sexist ideas and behaviors, but still hope you like it.

From this question:

Most

Eunseok

Wonbin

Sungchan

Seunghan

Shotaro

Sohee

Anton

Least

Eunseok is definitely the kind of guy who wants his girl to be 24/7 for him, you have to be his good little doll waiting at home all the time, you have to look pretty, nod to everything he says and be dumb all the time, smart girls talk too much and he doesn't like that at all. Don't even think about working outside either, your place is right there cleaning his house and in the kitchen cooking for him. It wouldn't be a surprise that he's one of the guys who would actually talk to people about how they have to keep their girls in check, making sure they're not acting like little sluts out there and do their only job in this world, stay at home satisfying their needs, and he'd even preach about it in front of your face, you nodding after he brainwashed you.

Wonbin is such an asshole with all the female population, he thinks they all have to meet society beauty standards to deserve his attention and respect as human beings, and wouldn't say much in front of them, but behind their backs he'd talk about how disgusting they look if they don't shave, wore makeup or kept a neat look. Also, I don't know why, but if you were his wife he wouldn't care that you're in an important point of your career (he doesn't mind you working), if he wants you to stop and have his children, you will.

Sungchan feels like the bro that wants children from you yes or yes, he'd practically see you as his own incubator instead of his wife, and would also always talk about it, how many BOYS he wants to play with, and how a little girl would be perfect to complete the team (but just one, not more), he wants children so much that would forget that you're a person with feelings and that you should be the one deciding how many you want too. On top of that, he'd really complain about how low the birth rate is, saying how sad is that women have lost the desire of fulfilling their role in the world as mothers.

Seunghan is the kind of guy who wants his girl pure, and that means, virgin. Just the idea of you opening your legs for someone that's not him makes his blood boil, like, where's your respect to yourself? Oh, and don't even dare to tell him that he has to be a virgin too, he'd firmly affirm that it's not the same, even trash talking about divorced women because they're already "used". He'd also convince you, to not say gaslight you, into thinking men can't only be with one woman since it's in their nature to cheat.

Shotaro has this artsy vibe, he's a dancer, he's grown up in this free of judgment space, I just don't think he'd ever judge a woman about her career goals and her choices about family, unless she's his girlfriend. He'd pressure to look pretty and skinny, making you lose weight with sutil but hurtful comments like "uhmm, are you sure about dessert?", making you always judge how you look and compare yourself with the girls he works with. Also, like I said, he wouldn't mind if you worked, however, he'd totally hate that you didn't take care enough of the house if you worked too much, he doesn't care that the two of you have exhausting jobs, when he arrives he wants his dinner hot and his bath ready.

Sohee wouldn't have any problem with you working and not having children, but he'd support the idea of women taking care of the household, he'd wash the dishes and leave everything else to you (from buying the ingredients, cooking, to serving the meal), and he'd affirm to everyone that he's always helping around the house. It's not that he doesn't how to survive on his own, but if you were his wife, he'd just leave most of the work to you, and would probably choose to marry you with that in mind too (the idea of having practically a servant). Also, he'd hate if you earned more money than him, probably making you quit or convincing you to have an "easier" job that paid you less just to not feel his position as the house head in danger.

I don't feel nothing from Anton, he'd love a bad bitch with thick makeup, a different style, that felt passion for her career and never cooked. He's still dumb with household chores, he wouldn't be able to survive on his own, but he'd never pressure you into doing everything on your own, and he do wants children, but if you don't then there's no pressure neither, your body your choice.

[coffin-ramblings]

The Coffin of Andrew and Renee Review Part 1: A Reused Resplendent Shroud Covering a Splintered Box

I played the Coffin of Andrew and Renee mod, and I have a lot of thoughts about it. It will be more critical than what you see so far and its breadth got so big, I have to make it into two posts. The first one will be focused on the plot beats, Andrew's and Renee’s relationship and characterization, and how the mod compares to canon. The second post will focus on my prediction for the identity of the “Homewrecker”, and how Andrew’s and Renee’s relationship here is (most likely unintentionally) written as non-physical sexual abuse.

Here is the link to part 2.

The game starts off with a hint to a flashback about Nina and Renee apparently caring about being a proper role model. Even though she casually cusses in front of her kids in canon and tells Ashley to “Cry about it” after being confronted for not helping them when she and her brother were starving for three months. Which was very jarring, but I went along anyway. It had some very funny moments, ones that have been posted all over so I won’t repeat them. Then Renee finds the can of tomatoes where she shows it to Andrew. I expected a more intense fight, but instead, Andrew just blatantly lies about why it’s in the trash, tries to gaslight his way out of it, and…compromises with her? I would’ve thought Renee would start lecturing him about lying to her, especially since it’s against their best interests and it’d be easy to portray her as being so domineering, she can make Andrew the “doormat” listen to her whenever she wants. But instead, it just shows that Andrew really isn’t that much of a doormat, even though that is his consistent personality trait in canon.

The hiding the can of tomatoes in general also makes no sense here because Ashley is impulsive enough to make it a meal quickly, while both Andrew and Renee here are strategic enough to ration it out. It feels like a copy and paste of the game that was executed with not much thought. In the original game, it immediately establishes the first impression that Ashley will ask Andrew for permission for things, Andrew will use trickery to try to keep her from getting what she wants, and while they’d fight over that, ultimately he will give in to her, seemingly because he’s a doormat. Here it gives the impression that Andrew is a liar just because and can be proactive, and Renee will not press him about any problems she sees unlike Ashley. This would have worked much better if Renee is depicted as someone who wants to do whatever she wants without a care for anything, which is somewhat her vibe in canon. However unlike Ashley, she can be persuaded to have self-restraint. 

Andrew is also weirdly way more rude and unappreciative about the meal than he was in the original game. He doesn’t act this rude in other low stress situations, and he’s not a picky eater either. He grew up poor and malnourished, he can’t be picky. He’s also way nicer to Ashley about the meal, and it serves as one of the hints that he is truly fond of her. I also expected Renee to start guilt-tripping by going “Oh it was so hard to cook this meal when I’m literally a walking skeleton!”, but she just tells him to stop playing with his food and eat it. There is no purpose to making him this rude as a first impression if he doesn’t act like this again. There’s no explanation to why he’s rude or even him apologizing for being rude to highlight how the quarantine is making the usually calm Andrew be more irritable. Ideally every character interaction should have some kind of purpose, but this doesn’t. 

It was also strange that right after, it’s revealed Renee has the balcony key, because when I inspected the balcony door before talking with Andrew, it just said that it was locked. It doesn’t give any justification for why Renee locked it or why she doesn’t want to go out right now. Sure it’s a minor detail, but it would add more reasoning or characterization to why it’s locked. The balcony key in canon is a hint of how Andrew actually has the final say on things Ashley wants to do with him, and he usually goes along because it’s what he wants, he just doesn’t want to admit it. Here, Renee with the balcony key shows she’s the one in charge at all times, which is expected, she’s the mother, but that makes her relationship with Andrew more unequal than what is intended. Maybe there’s more to it later that I haven’t thought of or haven’t seen, but who knows.

When the two want to cross to the other balcony by getting the broken shelf, Renee calls her husband “useless”, and before that, she calls him “good-for-nothing” when looking at the phone. These are all very OOC when she loves him very much and tries to assure him when he loses his job by saying “You’re too good for it anyway!”. I’d expect that even if they have some major falling out, Renee would be more bittersweet about it, like “My husband/your father is too scatterbrained. A shame since DIY building was his passion then”.

Though that scene is a relatively smaller issue than how she deals with the neighbor. She immediately starts threatening to kill him, which is very much the opposite of her trying to be normal in canon.

Why can’t she just knock on the door, yell at him to keep the music down, then threaten to call the wardens if he starts threatening her? She is not canonically that hot-headed. It feels like they made her more similar to Ashley just to balance out Andrew’s calmness, which makes no sense when Andrew takes a lot from her in personality in canon. 

We then had them watch TV. I decided to get the batteries and then turn on the TV manually, which was very funny. They hear the shitty news, and then they go to sleep. The flashback with the phone call with Julia shows Andrew seems to be actually happy with Julia, which has some possibly unintentional but still unfortunate implications on Andrew’s and Renee’s relationship. 

Or it could be Renee imagining it from her POV, which is what Andrew not saying “I love you” back to Julia suggests. But he also seems to slightly care about her more than in canon here, which also has unfortunate implications on his relationship with Renee, which will be discussed in the other post

This flashback also has a great set-up to her breaking up with Andrew because neglectful boyfriends are bad and potential shitty mother in laws are the worst, but then later…

No break-up happens. This is very unfortunate, especially with the common mindset that women have to tolerate their male partners’ mothers’ shitty behavior. The breakup also could highlight the toxicity of Andrew’s and Renee’s relationship, just like it did for Ashley and Andrew in canon. But apparently, Andrew is still with Julia, who is okay with him being apparently too busy for her and willing to commit to the long-term of dealing with his awful mother. This makes Andrew and Renee feel much softer in destructiveness than canon Andrew and Ashley, which is a compelling point of their relationship. This not happening makes Andrew and Renee less unique in comparison. 

Then the flashbacks show Renee talking with the ‘Homewrecker”. I will not talk about her here. She’s her own airtight can of suffocating worms.  

Anyway, the next day, Renee cleans up the house and passes out. I do appreciate the detail that there’s no dirt stains on the floor because she's cleaner than her kids, but what’s the point of being able to pick up the mop despite not needing it? And right after she cleans up, she passes out, but then the CG where she wakes up has her…sitting next to Andrew?

She was unconscious, why was she not lying down on his lap or the couch? Their eyes look off, Andrew looks way thinner than in other CGS, and the varying art styles of the CGs throughout the game is rather distracting, which makes me wonder how they coordinated all of the art.

And then, we get the call with Mr. Graves. He is barely even a character in canon, so it’s quite impressive how his few traits present were completely thrown out of the window here. He is very devoted and loving to Renee and he tries hard to hold down a job to support her and their children despite his own personal issues. Yet here he runs away from her, either complicit to or actively sold out her and Andrew, and apparently started a new relationship with another woman. He’s not even himself at this point, he’s just the mod’s OC wearing his skin. I’d say that is the writers’ most impressive achievement of this mod were it not easy to do. Sure it’s nice to see Renee’s insecurities out but it’s so forced by Mr. Graves being so out of character, and we could have gotten Julia breaking up with Andrew. 

Anyway we have the balcony scene, the first of several uncomfortable sexual moments throughout this mod, but much less titillating than the original because Andrew very much does not like hearing Renee talk about her sexuality and he is still grieving for Ashley. Renee thinking “Why is he still hung up over that?” is such a great moment though, props to that. 

I really have nothing much to say about lying on the floor scene in this post, so I’ll just focus on the successful demon summoning. That one was very weird for me, as Renee somehow decides that “Fuck it, time to unnecessarily commit a crime” and breaks into the apartment before the cultist dies. The demon sees her and asks who she offers, to which she offers up the cultist and after that…nothing happens. No trinket, no other reward, no Renee angsting over knowing she has a tar soul despite wanting to appear normal, no Andrew or Renee ever mentioning that she directly caused his demise. This feels like a moment to make it distinct from canon, but it falls very flat when it gets unaddressed and makes the warden sacrifice lose its impact compared to canon where he is the very first sacrifice by Ashley. 

The actions of Renee to their neighbor makes her have no care for appearing normal here, even though that is a core part of her character in Coffin and where Andrew gets his obsession to be so normal from. Her interactions with the neighbor create a huge plot hole of: if Renee is not the one insisting to appear normal, who does Andrew get his obsession from? 

But after that very weird scene, we see them chop up the cultist to eat, where the dinner was also…not very tense? Even if Renee is a better chef than Ashley, Andrew was still very nauseous at eating his body. It’d be more impactful if Renee physically forces Andrew to swallow it down like Ashley did, to show how at odds they are with each other about this. 

Versus

Horror is best emphasized when in contrast to the “normal”, which makes this scene in canon much more engaging. Ashley is very nonchalant about the cannibalism and forcefully insistent that Andrew must partake in it, even though he's reluctant about this despite it being for survival. This makes her more, well, horrifying to us and Andrew. It also is a building block to the eventual explosion of their simmering tensions, one we want to see. For Andrew and Renee, it feels more boring and not horrifying at all. In fact, it was very weird that Andrew is way nicer here than with the tomato sauce meal. That was kinda the opposite in canon. 

Versus

Why is Andrew suddenly all accepting and happy about this in the mod? Not even in Chapter 2 Burial, where he has fully decided to not give a shit about normalcy, was he happy with eating his parents. He was just being nice to humor Ashley. Now I was pretty disappointed about this, but when I decided to talk with Andrew after dinner…

My suspension of disbelief was surprisingly enduring for the past hour and fifteen minutes despite all the constant OOC-ness that drives this plot, but somehow, Andrew saying that broke it for me. At that moment, it was obvious that character consistency was not a goal for the mod. They do whatever the writers fit their fancies at the moment. Even though later Renee insists Andrew is “normal” because she’s “normal” was a nice in character moment for her and so was the Harekin story, it was too late. I just could not be that engaged with the mod anymore, knowing that what made them appealing to me can be thrown out at any moment.

I powered through the rest of the game, desperate to finish it. I was very annoyed at the major oversight of Renee waking up in Andrew’s room (despite sleeping in her own room in the scene before) and going down to the balcony to have Renee somehow know Andrew was next door cleaning up. And apparently, she knows this because he left a note on her bed saying that’s where he was, which I did not read at all, so I had to reload and find out what was happening. While I liked and was depressed at Renee seducing the warden to distract him in her home, it was annoying to go back and forth between the apartments to get blood from the warden to do the ritual. 

i also didn't like how Renee's immediate thought getting the gun was to smile and think about threatening Andrew with chores. The closest thing to Ashley doing that is yelling “YOU’RE LUCKY I LOVE YOU TOO MUCH TO NOT SHOOT!”, which was more funny because it’s in a stupid argument, siblings threaten each other without following through a lot of the time, and she actually didn’t try to get out of being choked by Andrew with the gun, so we know that she is truthful about that. I’m not sure if that was meant to be a joke or not, but it’s very much not funny. 

But the argument at the end definitely was a bad end to a pretty okay start to the mod. I have more problems with it that I’ll discuss in the next post, but for now, I’ll just do a comparison between canon. When I saw this Renee say “You let your sister take the fall of [Nina’s] death”, I expected that he’s going to start choking her immediately, and if not, soon. Soon after, Renee slaps Andrew, and I expected it to escalate to that…

…but it didn’t. It felt very anticlimactic with the lack of dynamism, thus, an explosion of the tension in the art. Compare with canon:

Andrew choking Ashley is horrifying because we realize that he can snap. That this seemingly normal and apathetic guy has his limits, and those limits can mean murdering his own sister. There is no horror to Andrew verbally threatening Renee and backing her into the corner, it feels more like he’s bluffing than actually willing to commit to matricide to evade the consequences of his crimes. It is a lot more boring and makes Renee appear more abusive to him as a result as she cowed him enough to not dare to use that against her. Andrew choking Ashley actually is a big tell that he also has power in the relationship, but he doesn’t want to show it often.

Also, him mentioning bitterly that Ashley is gone doesn’t get any major follow-up here other than Andrew going ‘You finally got rid of your daughter you always hated” and “Here lies Renee Graves, she should have had two abortions”. I would have expected him to choke her after she yells that she could have let him get sent away and tells her, “I raised Ashley because you made me. She was like a child of mine, and you let them take her away from me. I suppose it’s right for parents to avenge their kids, right?”. This would have fully established the tension between the two that it’s not Nina that made Andrew resent Renee, but Ashley. 

And what resolved the situation was...Renee saying she loved Andrew too much? Anyone who has been in a regular tense argument with a parent can tell you, saying “I love you too much” does not solve anything. It’s just overbearing and guilt-trippy and makes you even more mad. It especially is more useless to say here, because Renee here is being possessive of Andrew and he hates that. But the writers have to stick with Renee being an incredibly devoted mom even if it would not work in that situation. In fact, saying she loves him too much does not work at all when Andrew isn’t physically threatening her to gauge her desires.

It works better in canon because Andrew was choking Ashley as a calculated threat to both control her and gauge her desires. Her telling him that she doesn’t care if she dies if he wants to leave without her would have more of an impact on Andrew because he also can’t live without her and killing her will mean that is another crime he has to avoid the consequences of. Even outside of the siblings’ particular context, it would be very shocking for anyone to have their victim go “Well I don’t care about dying. If I don’t get to live with you, life is not worth living”. This makes both of them so much more fascinating. Ashley literally stakes her entire life on one person and we then don’t fully  understand why, but we want to know more. Andrew, despite his violent resentment of Ashley, seems to appreciate that, and we also want to know his perspective on it. They are very good hooks, both to learn more about their characters and see how much things can get worse. How the mod handles it does not give us hooks of its own. We just wonder what happens when they’re on the run and have Andrew’s word that he doesn’t trust Renee but he doesn’t show it, so it’s not as engaging.

After that, they go ride off with a cute bunny CG. Which was nice I guess. 

So do I like anything about the mod? Well some. I like Andrew’s literature major nerd moments. The jokes in the beginning were funny. Renee has her own distinct voice, her insecurities, and cynicism of being a woman in a very patriarchal society. However, I wished it was shown more outside of a few moments, that it is such a constant part of her that you can’t avoid. 

Despite the flashback with burying Nina happening after I started getting disengaged with the mod, it was well-done with its horror and Renee's manipulation that it kept my engagement for a while. I wished I can post the art here but I'm at the image max for this post.

However, it is soured that it feels so disjointed from the present, of how much better the mod can be. Apparently this is the moment where Renee resolves to be a better mother for Andrew, but she canonically did not give a shit about the murder, even though she knew that they were responsible for it. It’d make more sense if she’s like “Finally, I can finally get rid of that nasty girl and have Andrew, my reliable son who has so much potential to raise our socioeconomic status up, be all alone without her influence. I’m going to pay extra attention to him now.” This would make her constantly more manipulative, controlling, and guilt-tripping him, which with her high expectations, quarantine, and their crimes makes him eventually turn against her. 

So I guess I can say without any caveats and ignoring the small details, I really don’t like this mod. It had so much potential, and I played it to see how it’ll unfold with the characters I know. Instead, I got what feels like a beginner writer who just got into a new thing they like so much that they wrote a fanfic about it. The characters feel so disjointed, a critical character is written out due to the author’s preference or plot convenience, there’s meaningless changes, the conflicts are minimal between the MCs, and we have a contrived cheating cliche that serves to make at least one character look worse and another look much better. 

I see a lot of justification that it’s OOC because it’s an AU, but as this review showed, this is not a “oh the situation changed so they acted differently”. There is absolutely no rhyme or reason behind many of their actions other than it drives the plot. In fact, the mod is maddeningly boring for me because no real risks were taken to make its own identity while still being a The Coffin of Andy and Leyley game. 

The first sign of that is its title. What is the “coffin” in this game? The apartment is only relevant in the first episode, and it certainly doesn’t feel like Nina’s with how nice Renee is to Andrew (even if it should be). The major known meaning of the original game’s title is Andrew’s desire for him and Ashley to grow up from “Andy” and “Leyley” and become full-fledged adults. Why is it called “The Coffin of Andrew and Renee” here? Does that mean they’re going to die? If not physically, what is their goal that requires a part of themselves to die?

Furthermore, TCOAAL is at its core a horror game. The mod does not do anything to build upon that or make its own horror outside of the flashback, which was heavily based on what happened in canon. While this can be attributed to a majority of the fan content being smutty or shippy, if you want to make an adaptation of the game’s plot, you still need to have horror in it. It’s unavoidable as a social commentary and examination of what creates “bad” people. But Renee and Andrew are barely horrible to each other, which is a major part of the horror in the original game between the two siblings. This is a genre that ideally demands the creators be bold and daring in its entry to the world of fears and taboos, which the writers are clearly not outside of one scene.

And the final core issue of its lack of identity is that Renee is an Ashley with a different voice, one that creates more problems for Andrew’s characterization and makes her more abusive than Ashley ever was. Renee is Andrew’s mother, how she is has more of an effect on how he is and the mod forgets that. This is best seen with Renee readily charging into crimes without any good reason like Ashley did in Episode 1, Andrew somehow willing enough to admit he’s not normal, and him not really standing up to her when she slaps him at the end of the episode. This particular interaction and Renee’s role in Andrew’s life overall means she has more authority than him, which makes their relationship much more unequal than what Andrew and Ashley are in canon. Furthermore, Andrew can’t easily leave her as he can with Ashley, because she can stalk him and no one will really take it seriously because they would have more sympathy for her. If Ashley were to do that, most people would be more sympathetic to Andrew, especially since no one really likes Ashley, while Renee apparently can be popular. These problems are a reflection of the popular fanon misconceptions of Ashley as the sole abuser of Andrew in their relationship, and Andrew purely being her victim. This will be discussed in the next post.