#so goddamn gay I love these morons

[kronosveritas]

Commission from @sharkylass

My babies 😭 <3

(Alternates below the fold)

Ik I haven’t been posting or chatting lately (miss you @smilysstuff ) — sorry, I’ve been going through it for a bit. Love y’all though please accept this. High key better than how I draw anyway I can’t color for shit LMAO

[charsui]

You'll never guess who's drunk live blogging One Piece and I gotta preface this with I accept the head canon that Crocodile is Luffys mother who transitioned thanks to Iva's powers.

I feel sorry for this dude, so you have a child with the leader of the revolutionary army. You leave that kid, get your transition on, (or have already transitioned and just not had bottom surgery) and work to become a warlord of the sea. You start Baroque Works, own a casino, almost take over a country.

Then out of nowhere, your idiot son appears out of nowhere to start thwarting your plan. So, in retaliation to not give away who you are, but you still love the moron, you give a non-fatal stabbing to him so he learns not to be a shit. You move on, go back to the casino you own, start working with your assistant and try to acquire a WMD.

Two days later your dumb as bricks kid shows up again to thwart your plans and gets you put in prison. You lose your warlord-ship, you lose your casino, the country is free, and your next in command has joined your son's crew. Okay, this sucks. But when in prison you start to feel like because you're feared enough you're beyond safe, you're the big dog in this pen and make it your home for a little bit. No sooner are you enjoying your stay but your motherfucking son appears AGAIN, shouting about his brother because apparently he adopted a brother while he was away on the island you left him on and this brother is the second in command to the strongest pirate on the sea.

Your son springs you from prison with the help of a bunch of flamboyant queers (I feel like Crocodile fits that thing that cis gay men can do of separating their gay identity from the larger queer community and sees his respectability to the hetero community called into question when he sees himself connected to the more ambiguous community members like Iva, Bon Clay, etc) and now you're no longer where you'd become comfortable and you're going to war with the government.

You decide to change career paths and aim for King of the Pirates and see Whitebeard, the most likely candidate, right there for the assassinating. You go to strike with surprise and... It's your goddamned kid again defending him.

You literally cannot catch a break and you know it's your own son that is the root of all your problems no matter how much you love him.

[camels-pen]

burning love

@sanusoweek Day 1 - Ice Skating / OT3

Summary:

Roses are red, Violets are nice, These guys are gay, Sanji falls through the ice.

Ao3 Link | sanuso week series | Day 2

Sanji skated a decently sized heart into the iced over lake, a tray of warm drinks in his hand as he called, “Usopp, my darling dearest beloved brightest—”

“We get it, Curly, what the fuck do you want?”

Sanji scowled. “I wasn’t talking to you, Mossy.” He looked around. “I’m looking for our angel of a boyfriend to deliver hot cocoa.”

“He’s busy.” Zoro jabbed a thumb over his shoulder. Sanji looked past him to Chopper in Horn Point, Luffy holding onto his antlers, and Usopp pulling Luffy backwards by his grip on Luffy’s waist. He had a big kissable grin on his face and oh, Sanji must’ve been struck by cupid’s arrow again because the wind blew just right through his curls and—

Zoro gripped his shoulder. “He’s busy.” 

Sanji rolled his eyes. If Luffy and Chopper couldn’t mess him up with all their loud laughter and squirming and Hurry up, Usopp! ‘s, then Sanji’s perfectly polite entrance wouldn’t do a thing.

“Thank you for your services, Mr. guard dog, but they’re no longer needed.”

“Don’t think you have the right to say that when you always look like you’re in fucking heat—”

Sanji slammed one skate into the ice, lifting the other into the air. “Be very careful with your next words.”

Zoro put a hand on his swords. “Or what? You’ll whimper?”

“DON’T YOU FUCKING—” Nami cut herself off with a shriek. “Robin, catch me! And stop them, please!”

Familiar hands grabbed his calf and thigh. He spotted two more gripping Zoro’s arms. “You’ll crack the ice if you fight,” Robin said somewhere behind Sanji. “And the shock of the cold water could make you involuntarily inhale and drown as you start to slowly lose feeling in your limbs.”

Sanji let the tension bleed from his body. “Sorry, Robin dear.” Zoro grunted his own acknowldgement and the hands disappeared.

“No, Diable either Sanji-bro,” Franky added as he skated around, Robin perched on one of his shoulders, a book between her gloved hands. “You’ll melt the ice and it’ll be a hell of a lot worse.”

He waved a hand. “Yeah, yeah, I get it.” He quickly spun around and took off. “Usopp dear! I’ve made you hot cocoa filled to the brim with all my love for you!”

Usopp a noise between a squeak and a shout and he stumbled. His arms pinwheeled, abruptly letting go of Luffy and sending him flying.

“Oh no, Luffy!” Chopper yelled. “Usopp, you said you wouldn’t send him that far!”

“Blame Sanji, not me!” he said, still wobbling back and forth with a beautiful red undertone to his dark skin. “Quick, you and boss Jinbei get after him!”

“Right!” Chopper switched to Walk Point, picked up a confused looking Jinbei by the shore and took off after Luffy.

“Shit—!” Usopp fell with a loud smack and a groan. “Zoro, you were supposed to not let Sanji distract me,” he whined.

“My bad.”

Sanji wasted no time offering a hand and pulling Usopp up. He pressed a kiss to Usopp’s forehead and the bottom of his nose, where it had bent against the ice. “I should’ve listened too, I’m sorry, love.”

Usopp grumbled, then stumbled again. “Ugh, my balance sucks,” he said, accepting the affection—and hot cocoa—with a smile. “How did you pick this up so fast?”

“I can show you.” Sanji pulled him closer by the hand, his arm finding its place at the small of his back. “Let me teach you, give you some private lessons.”

A thick arm suddenly wrapped around Usopp’s shoulders. “Hey, I’m better at skating than you, I’ll teach him.”

“Fuck off, we both know you’d just let him fall flat on his face every time.”

Zoro raised a brow.  “Well yeah, how else is he gonna learn?” 

“Goddamn mossheaded brute,”—he tugged Usopp closer to him—“I’m going to teach Usopp.”

“No, you’re just gonna coddle him.” Zoro pulled Usopp back.

“There’s a difference between coddling and not letting him get hurt, moron,” Sanji growled.

“Not with this there isn’t.”

Sanji slammed his forehead to Zoro’s. “You wanna go, you shitty piece of algae?!”

“Anytime, shit cook,” Zoro said, pushing him back.

“Hey, hey—” Usopp wiggled his way out from between them. “You don’t have to fight!”

“Yes, we do,” they said in unison.

“God, you two.” Sanji couldn’t see what he was doing, but the next thing he knew there was a trail of soft kisses from his cheek to his jaw. He closed his eyes with a hum, a pleasant flush crawling up his neck. He heard another series of kisses and felt Zoro pull away.

Usopp huffed and Sanji blinked his eyes open to look at him. “Honestly, you can both teach me,” he said, arms on his hips and a smile on his face.

Zoro turned away, his ears dusting pink. “Yeah, alright.”

Usopp turned to Sanji. A grin split Sanji’s face.

“Oh, my dearest and most beloved boyfriend, how you bless me so! I, of course, will heed your wishes. Nothing compares to such a thoughtful gift upon my person.” He twirled around a few times. His heart beat rapidly in his chest, his burning love growing hotter and hotter all throughout his body. “In exchange let me regale you with a poem: roses are red, violets are nice—”

There was a crack.

Sanji fell through the ice.

[x-manson-annotated]

X-Manson Annotated Chapter 5 - Part One: INFILTRATORS.

Holy shit, the final chapter. This is where I really like a lot of concepts. The Avengers make a proper appearance and everyone's favorite sapphic Carol Danvers has a shitty time. See the reblogged version for the rest of it, since Tumblr has a limit on only 30 images.

If i'm not mistaken, this places the year that Kitty is watching the documentary as 2000 whereas before it said "Present Day" or "Today" . This places Kitty and Dani at probably 23 and 26 respectively.

**Dwight Hammer, like all cops is a goddamn moron.

Paid Schill.

1999 the y ear of the raid? Xavier's psychics forcing people to confess to murders that they didn't commit?

*I'm not sure if Dolores is a reference to someone special or just a filler character.

**I don't know why the spelling of her name with the 'e'. I've looked at multiple versions of the story and that detail remains in all of them.

**ALIENS EXIST IN THE CULT AU.

Motherfucking Carol Danvers!

*I'm not totally sure if that's something Supergirl used to be like.

** Rogue. I'm not sure who the intelligence agency is, since SHIELD seems to be a known quantity in the world.

*** That isn't really a thing she's known for either.

*Carole uses that very insistent phrase "the Kree that fucked me up". In the comics, she gained her abilities from an explosion that mixed her DNA with Mahr-Vel. So, is it possible in this au the Kree intentionally experimented on her?

**Pretty green eyes convince Carole Danvers that Rogue isn't a tech. Gay as hell behavior, champ.

***Further gay behavior. Much less traumatic loss of her powers as opposed to what happened to her in the comics.

*This is referencing her lesbianism within the story. I don't know if this is Benway's potentially homophobic perspective on Carole's sexuality, or if it's meant to be a purely in-universe sense of present homophobia.

Rogue's Mom, Destiny is being a cryptic old biddy. She's present twice the story, but Mystique isn't. Maybe she died a while back after some encounter with the cult, resulting in Rogue being sent in as an agent. But, that's just my headcanon.

*See.

**Rogue gave Carole a type.

**Why didn't she decay? Because of Carole's powers?

***Destiny was able to see that Carole was going to fuck her shit up by kissing Rogue's corpse, but not that Rogue would get murdered? Like, c'mon, that's your daughter.

*I might be right.

**I'm so fucking sick of Vance taking every single incorrect lesson from his life. Of course, she was angry, Vance. She was in near-constant pain, you unbearable prick.

***Probably doesn't help that she was being cryptic about what happened.

*I still love how angry he is with American spy agencies.

*Possibly this universe's version of Freedom Force?

Xavier loaning out cult members for odd jobs?

*Sorry HOXPOX fans, Moira isn't a mutant.

**So that's where they're potentially filling up their ranks?

***My immediate thought was Gambit both because of the title and the New Orleans connection. This might also be Amahl Farouk, who has a history of employing pickpockets, but he was based in Egypt. Though, I don't want to discount him totally because of my biased headcanon.

*Tracking the cult's activity from the ground up. But, how is the cult going to all of these places constantly? How far spread are they outside of Westchester?

** Nice to know that Black Tom exists in this au. Hope he and Cain have a summer cottage together somewhere on the coast where they can grow old together, far away from any of this cult horseshit.

Spain

Morocco

Romania

Hungary

Yugoslavia

Westchester, New York.

So, Sean was likely trying to infiltrate them after making contact in Yugoslavia and then ended up being inducted into the cult, proper.

That is so goddamn scary it's unreal.

*was their a psi on the isles manipulating the local Interpol agents? Can Xavier or Cable stretch their influence that far?

*Rahne Sinclair

*I just now noticed that Terry in this story is eleven. My god. That's an especially horrifying ordeal at that age.

*if Sean was pleading, it's possible that either they didn't have him under psychic control yet (not coring him) or the distance allowed the connection to break. But who else is with Logan that's coercing Sean into action?

*She could tell almost immediately that Rahne was a mutant and not some kind of freakish dog.

The river to confuse Logan's tracking ability?

*Rahne's home in the woods.

*They don't see her transform in the dark, but she can take on a human or at least human adjacent shape. Rahne Sinclair is a saint.

First Voice, Unknown.

Second Voice, Logan.

*My first instinct was that this is Sean, but Moira would have clarified if it were. Maybe it's Cable or Piotr?

**Rahne can take on a human shape, but is functionally feral and cant understand human language.

*Logan's voice again.

**Cars everywhere. Some of them look burned. Sunfire? Is the second voice Sunfire?

*Christ alive, they massacred ten whole police officers and special forces agents.

Logan sticking around to threaten the family by leaving shreadded vehicles around? Why not murder them?

[underworld-park-offical]

CLYDE: HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK

CLYDE: THE FUCKING VIDEO CUT OFF BUT

CLYDE: CRAIGS PROBABLY DEAD HE'S DEAD HE'S DEAD HE’S DEADDDDD WAHHHHHH

TOLKIEN: I KNOW SHUT UP TOLKIEN: YOU'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT THAT THE WHOLE CAR RIDE!!!

CLYDE: I KNOW WE ALL SAID WE WANTED HIM DEAD BUT CLYDE: BUT CLYDE: WAHHHHHHHHH HAAAA HAAAAAAAA!!!!!

TOLKIEN: BABE SHUT UP TOLKIEN: I'M TRYING TO FOCUS ON THE ROAD TOLKIEN: I DON'T WANT TO GET A SPEEDING TICKET TODAY

CLYDE: WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HAAAAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

CLYDE: I MISS CRAIG SO MUCH CLYDE: HE WAS THE WORST BEST FRIEND I'VE EVER HAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDD

TOLKIEN: STOP CRYING TOLKIEN: I LOVE YOU TOLKIEN: BUT I NEED TO FOCUS RIGHT NOW TOLKIEN: I DON'T WANT TO CRASH MY CAR

CLYDE: WAAAHAHHHHHAHVAGUCGJFIYGXTUDXFRCYUHY*GCFGJUOTUDVHUPI*YIFGCJBLOUGTCGJOUFJGOUFDTYGUOCFJGYOFX

TOLKIEN: BABY I CAN'T COMFORT YOU RIGHT NOW TOLKIEN: I'M DRIVING CLYDE: YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT MEEEE HEEEE HEEEEEE CLYDE: OR CRAAA HEYYY HEYYYA AAAIG 

CLYDE: OR JIMM HEE HEE HEE…

CLYDE: HE'S DEAD YOU MONSTER HER HERRRRR!! TOLKIEN: I CARE, THAT'S WHY I'M TRYING NOT TO CRASH RIGHT NOW

CLYDE: YOU'RE LYING TO MEEEEEE TOLKIEN: I AM NOT TOLKIEN: BUT I AM TOLKIEN: THIS  CLOSE TOLKIEN: TO TAPING YOUR MOUTH SHUT

CLYDE: WAHHAAGHVHUGGCHFUIHCGFHUIYHVHVGUHGV GGUI PLEASE DONT I'LL BE A GOOD BOYYYYYYYY TOLKIEN: YOU'RE A BIG STRONG MAN TOLKIEN: PLEASE STOP CRYING CLYDE: (sniffle) Okayyyyyyy

TOLKIEN: GOD DAMN TOLKIEN: WE NEED TO TELL DAIMEN CLYDE: Whyy??????????

TOLKIEN: He's one of the few people in our friend group I can actually fucking TOLERATE

TOLKIEN: I’m pretty sure he's working at the 711 right now

CLYDE: STEP ON THE GAS BABY TOLKIEN: I'M TRYING

Meanwhile...with the gays

THOMAS: HAOUGUUGUGHGHHHHHHHHHHHHH

TWEEK: WHAT THE FUCK???

TWEEK: WHY ARE YOU THROWING UP KOOL AID?????

TWEEK: ARE YOU OKAY THOMAS???? TWEEK: THOMAS?????? THOMAS: NOHuuuuuu...... uuUHHHOUUUUGHHGHHFGGH–

PIP: Ugh he's getting me all red!

PIP: Gregory, make him stop right now!

PIP: He's getting kool aid all over my very expensive suit!

GREGORY: You know he has a condition!

GREGORY: You KNOW He has “throwing up koolaid-itus”!!!

GREGORY: He told me so!

PIP: UGHHHHHHHHH!!!

PIP: You all are going to make this plan go to SHIT!

TWEEK: SHUT UP!!

TWEEK: The douchebag is in our presence

PIP: I DONT CARE I'LL JUST EAT HIM LIKE I DID HIS STUPID FUCKING FRIEND

PIP: JIMBO OR WHATEVER HIS NAME WAS

GREGORY: Jimmy, sir

PIP: I KNEW THAT SHUT UP

GREGORY: Yes sir-

PIP: Infact

PIP: ALL OF YOU SHUT THE BLOODY HELL UP RIGHT NOW!!!

THOMAS: Buhhh….. blehhh …..ughhh….

THOMAS: Eughhh…

THOMAS: I hated that…

TWEEK: DON'T TELL ME TO SHUT UP YOU STUPID BRITISH CROOKED TEETH MOTHER OF-

GREGORY: Ah ah ah 

GREGORY: No no no Tweeky!

GREGORY: Bad idea!

GREGORY: You dont wanna mess with Sir Pip whilst he's upset!

TWEEK: RRGHHHGHGHGH LEMME AT HIM!!!

GREGORY: Ah ah ah!

GREGORY: No way!

TWEEK: RRRRGGRHHHHHHHH!!!!!  

TWEEK: I'M GONNA SNAP HIM IN HALF LIKE A PRETZEL!!!

PIP: Not before I snap YOU in half like a goddamn Crumpet!

THOMAS: U- uh….

THOMAS: Guys??

TWEEK: YOU ARE SERIOUSLY THE WORST LEADER EVER!!

PIP: OH DON'T EVEN START YOU METH ADDICTED DEFIANT TROLL!

TWEEK: YOU DID NOT

PIP: OH I MOST CERTAINLY DID

THOMAS: Guuuuys?

PIP: I HOPE YOU FUCKING BURN BECUASE OF THE LAND WENCE YOU CAME, YOU SUPER SONIC MUFFIN MUNCHER TWEEK: KILL YOURSELF YOU CRUSTY PEANUT PIP: I'M ALREADY DEAD YOU MORONIC BRAINDEAD LUNATIC TWEEK: DIE TWICE PIP: FUCK YOU!!!

THOMAS: GUYS!!!!!!

PIP AND TWEEK: WHAT???????

THOMAS: What do we do with…. SHIT-! COCK-!!

THOMAS: What do we do with him?

CRAIG: What is going on? CRAIG: I'm like

CRAIG: Mad dissociating right now

CRAIG: What

CRAIG: What are you guys

CRAIG: How are you all here…?

GREGORY: Oh the mister has finally snapped out of his trance!

GREGORY: Apologies, dear friend!

GREGORY: Sir Pip had requested we keep you contained! He remembers you being the worst of the lot!

GREGORY: And with your fashion choice, I can certainly see why.

CRAIG: What are you….

CRAIG: Ohhhh…. 

CRAIG: Yeah this hoodie was a mistake

CRAIG: And the phone case….

CRAIG: Goddamnit…

PIP: He's come to his senses 

PIP: WHY HAS HE COME TO HIS SENSES??!?!

PIP: THAT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN!!!!

PIP: AAAAAAGHHHH!!!!

PIP: DAMNIT DAMNIT DAMNIT DAMNIT!!!

GREGORY: Oh dear

GREGORY: Sir Pip is upset again

GREGORY: There there Sir Pip

PIP: SHUT YOUR MOUTH YOU ABSOLUTE KISS ASS PIP: I WILL RIP THAT PONYTAIL FROM YOUR SCALP!

GREGORY: Apologies, Sir Pip

CRAIG: Wait a second

CRAIG: Is that a fucking dead body??????

CRAIG: HOLY SHIT IS THAT JIMMY????

PIP: Well one of the side effects of opening a portal to hell,

PIP: Someone kicks the bucket!

CRAIG: Christ..

PIP: Why did you capture him,  Gregory?

PIP: You know I hate this one

GREGORY: He was the closest one, Sir Pip!

PIP: You could've just grabbed them ALL!

PIP: Now our plan will fucking CRUMBLE because of you!

PIP: You SENTIENT. STAPLER.

GREGORY: I 

GREGORY: Sir Pip….

PIP: NO! NO I DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOU ANYMORE!

PIP: Anyway, since you ARE here

PIP: You may as well make yourself of good use to me

CRAIG: What?

PIP: Where are Stan and his little friends?

PIP: Out of all of you dicktwats, THEY treated me worst

PIP: So… where are they?

(EDITS MADE BY @pissblanket)

[thanksjro]

More Than Meets the Eye #48 — Froid and His Awful Boyfriend Come For a Visit

So you know how last issue Getaway manipulated Tailgate into going on a suicide mission, by telling him they’d get space-married if he did? And then Whirl got shot? And then Cyclonus had to stab a former warlord and brain him with a flatscreen to go save his crush? And then Cyclonus got shot? And then Tailgate exploded all gay-like?

Yeah, we’re not focusing on that right now. It’s time for Rung to do his goddamned job for once.

Our issue opens up in Rung’s office, where he’s having Skids talk through his memories. I should have known he’d bother doing his job for one of the hottest guys on the ship.

Skids, shortly after the nightmare hellscape that was the Simanzi Massacre, was employed as a bomb negotiator. Now, you may say, that doesn’t sound like quite the right pairing of words to use, but you have to understand that Cybertronians are robots, and also never had a Geneva Convention to work out what was and wasn’t a war crime, so they sort of just did whatever back in the day.

I bet whoever figured this shit out got a huge pay bump, and then was shot in the street for being an absolute monster.

The anti-personal mines were a head and other vital robo-organs locked in the galaxy’s worst pressure cooker, set to blow if the still-living robot got too stressed out. Skids’s job was talking these guys down so he could turn their brains off and disarm everything. Because Skids, as we know, is very good at talking people down.

Just an absolute ace at deescalation, this guy. Certainly doesn’t suffer from snark poisoning.

The flashback takes place during Skids’s religious phase, which also doesn’t help matters; he goes and drags the mercy of Primus into it, and when you’re a head in an IED, you’re not exactly feeling like god loves you all that much.

Our dear bomb boy explodes, sending Skids soaring straight into the custody of a Decepticon Hygiene Team, who drag him and a few other Autobots away in chains to the unhappiest place in the galaxy (that doesn’t contain Overlord).

Skids in the present takes a moment to collect himself, as these memories are related to the ones that Chromedome had refused to uncover for him with mnemosurgery way back in issue #8.  When we get back into it, we see a friend that we haven’t visited in quite a while.

Maybe Mr. Flywheels Scavengers deserved to get super-blendered after all.

Flywheels is in charge of gluing inhibitor spikes to the roofs of all the prisoners’ mouths. If someone with one of these spikes attempts to transform, the spike deploys, turning their brain module into a donut.

“But what if someone doesn’t have a mouth?”, asks James Roberts’s canonized self-insert character Rev-Tone. Well, not to worry, you fucking moron, because you’re at Grindcore, the home of pain and suffering!

That’s a series wrap on Rev-Tone, folks! Let’s give him a hand!

Skids is assigned to room with another prisoner, though his name won’t be found out til it’s more devastating for the readers, as present-day Skids is starting to run out of steam with remembering the worst days of his life.

We cut back to modern day, where Skids and Rung have finished building one of Rung’s model ships— likely a tactile distraction while Skids was recounting what he could remember. Skids laments not being able to pull the ripcord on all this and just have it needled out, but Rung reminds him that Chromedome didn’t want to re-traumatize him with just slapping everything on the brain-table.

We then learn a little bit about Rung, as it’s revealed that he only purchases models of ships he’s been assigned to, and that he was scheduled to be on the fateful Ark-1 trip, before the Senate yanked him back planet side. He’s also a bit of a loser, his own theories on psychology being overshadowed by Froid’s. Must really hurt, being outshone by the guy with the ballgag mouth.

Rung asks Skids how he wants the thumb-recording of today’s session sent to him, and Skids says he wants it emailed directly into his brain, because you can do that shit when you’re a robot. They schedule their next appointment, Rung is revealed to have his entire ass out, and Riptide lets him know that he’s got a guest.

I’m sure that dramatic shadow over his face isn’t anything to worry about.

There’s a stunned silence, an awkward introduction, Froid confirms that he has not, in fact, been dead this entire time, and then he gives Rung the most horrifying hug in the universe with his terrible gibbon arms. Skids takes this as his cue to dip, remarking on Froid’s “primal beads”, some sort of religious paraphernalia on-par with the matrix tattoo he had on his cheek all those years ago.

Over in the medibay, we come to find that Cyclonus isn’t actually dead, because he was protected by the power of love, and also being the toughest motherfucker to ever exist in an undead capacity. Nobody’s super sure what the hell happened to Tailgate, but he’s still out cold.

The ship co-captains show up, Megatron being very, very defensive about how much he totally wouldn’t have hurt Tailgate, despite having been fully ready to crush his little head like an egg just a few hours ago. Cyclonus says that he should be the one to apologize, though his stance makes it look like he’s one misplaced glance away from throwing another television into Megatron’s teeth.

Thankfully, it looks like everyone’s up to speed on what a shitlord Getaway is, as Rodimus had Chromedome poke Tailgate in the brain while he was unconscious to figure out what the fuck happened.

Rodimus, shit like this is why 89 members of your crew voted “no confidence”.

Cyclonus, ever a romantic, is taken with the idea of someone setting up a fireworks show just for him surviving a hail of gunfire. Velocity bursts his bubble, however, as the light show is actually for Thunderclash, who was re-awoken by whatever that weird rainbow explosion was.

Back over in Rung’s office, Rung is waiting for an explanation as to why Froid has the audacity to be alive right now. Froid hasn’t been seen since the “Tetrahex Ripper” was caught, when he joined the prison ship taking him— Sunder— and his brother Septre to Garrus 6 for their crimes.

No word on if it’s any better than Garrus 9.

Froid became obsessed with Sunder, which worked out about as well as anyone could expect, when he was taken hostage by the brothers after they escaped their cells. There were some causalities, including Septre, but Froid managed to escape to the mechanical planet of Scarvix, where he continued his work as a psychiatrist. Rung has been cleaning his glasses this whole time, probably so he doesn’t have to look at Froid’s awful, awful body.

Froid starts fiddling around with Rung’s models, and Rung finally asks why the fuck Froid is here, considering Rung was under the impression he was dead until about five minutes ago. Froid drops the buddy-buddy act, asking for Rung’s patient notes. Rung refuses. He asks again, stating the importance of having them, though he doesn’t clarify why. Rung refuses again. Froid alludes to letting a very big secret of Rung’s slip if he doesn’t get what he’s oh so politely asking for, grabbing Rung’s arm to make his point extra clear.

Over in the oil reservoir of contemplation, Skids is having a think, trying to remember more of his worst memories. Like how he used to room with Quark.

Quark, as thanks for having removed the death spike from his throat, gives Skids a piece of advice to help him survive Grindcore: don’t do anything to stand out. Of course, this is Skids we’re talking about, who is both supremely talented and in-canon hot, so that might be a bit of an ask. Quark then comments on the lack of a soundtrack these days, which gives someone outside the cell a perfect entry into the conversation. This is someone Skids recognizes in the past, but present-day Skids just can’t get any further with the memory.

Back at the Psych Rumble Power Hour, Rung is holding firm to his morals, once again refusing Froid’s request. Froid folds, saying that he’ll just take his sorry ass back home then. Rung goes to see him off, and finds that Froid’s ship is being guarded. Rung questions why Magnus would have folks stationed at the shuttle bay, since they typically don’t do that. Other than the fact that Tailgate and Cyclonus violently assaulted a superior officer and then bolted, it would appear that Froid is also being a naughty little bastard.

Rung put some goddamned pants on, you’re ruining the dramatic reveal!

It turns out that Froid and Sunder have been living together since their escape, and Froid’s taken quite the liking to Sunder, completely hand-waving his obsession with Cybertron’s god of death, and the concept of sin, and his history of being a serial killer. Rung is horrified by this, stating that Froid’s become codependent and is way too close to Sunder to be doing his job correctly.

Of course, Froid throws that right back in his face, because, as we’re all quite familiar with by this point, Rung is super buddy-buddy with everyone on the ship, especially the hot guy who’s one of his most involved patients. That’s when we get the real kicker— Rung’s secret, that Froid’s been helping keep all these years? Rung’s been delicensed since well before the end of the war.

I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again: nobody on the Lost Light can do their goddamned job.

That begs the question of how Rung could have gotten away with such a thing, given that half the ship’s crew is cops, with Ultra Magnus having once held the title of King Big Dick of Policeland. It turns out that the ship Rung was serving on at the time, the Fateful Archetype, had been shot down shortly after his hearing, with him being the only survivor, and all the paperwork burning up in the crash. Awfully convenient, that. Considering how scary Rung has proven to be in the past, I’m not completely sure he didn’t set some shit up, but anyway! It’s time to meet Sunder.

Well, hello to you too, sunshine!

Sunder’s lack of eyeballs does serve a purpose beyond shock value; in order to have a modicum of control over his buff as hell serial killer boyfriend, Froid’s convinced Sunder that he needs to be able to see his victims in order to remotely mnemosurgery them. Because that’s a thing he can do. He also says that traumatic memories are delicious. Because that’s a thing he does, eating memories. With his remote mnemosurgery skills.

James, what the fuck.

Anyway, this is why Froid wanted Rung’s patient files; he was gonna find the guys who were repressing memories and feed them to Sunder.

Then Skids shows up and shoots Froid with a grappling hook.

Rung tells Skids to run, but it’s too late, because Froid just broke his primal beads and is bowling them at Sunder as he yells for his fucked up boytoy to hit the deck. And boy howdy, does he get a strike. Let’s see what Sunder’s all about.

Okay Mr. Tumblr Poetry, let’s calm down now.

Sunder, now knowing that Rung’s the guy in charge of the ship’s mental health, give him the evil eye and riffles through his brain like a phonebook, picking out all the tastiest treats, which makes Rung’s glasses explode for dramatic effect.

Then why the FUCK did you take him to the Lost Light, you malpracticing buffoon? This ship’s basically a twinkie with a trauma cream filling!

Sunder, of course, notices that Skids and his delicious brain are right there, so he goes for that first, dragging us back to where we left off in the flashback, where a level 5 theatre kid moment is happening.

Jesus, he’s even got a cape. What a dweeb.

[super-hero-confessions]

Butchlander fandom. Grow the fuck up.

Watching "mostly" straight women with a fetish clique up and try to alienate and borderline excommunicate actual queer people in fandom over differing opinions in real time is not only disturbing, it's disgusting.

You're not in highschool anymore, not that this sort of behavior is ever acceptable, but I'm pretty sure at least half of you are 40 and over. This mean girl shit and insidious subversive talk is not only beyond childish coming from grown ass adults.

It is moronic. You are morons.

You aren't special or cute trying to manipulate people to be like minded by "other-ing" the "other" side as if there fucking is one you hive drones.

No one cares how insecure you are over your own kinks and opinions that you would forcibly pick unnecessary fights behind someone's back if not set out bait to start drama, just to somehow solidify your opinions as if they were some sort of hard canon confirmed fact.

They are not.

Opinions. Are not facts. Period.

If someone is cluttering "your" precious Butchlander tag with "bratty bossy bottom Billy Butcher", oh fucking well. Cry harder, bitch. You don't own the fucking tag. You think you're the only one who sees shit you don't like? Boo fucking hoo, you're not. You never were. You are not the only type of Butchlander shipper in the world nor are you the only type of valid one.

Eat your heart out if you're gonna be a fucking fascist about fictional bullshit and completely miss every single thing The Boys bothers teaching. No wonder so many of you proudly proclaim to hate the comics, you can't stand something that challenges your worldview and forces you to think beyond your own hands in front of your face.

And then you accuse the queer person of being a narcissist? For... what exactly? Being loud and proud? Existing? Because I didn't see any attacks or attempts at policing opinions. Maybe a little obnoxious, sure. But nothing that any of you weren't doing. Besides the loving bottom Billy bit.

Projection 101.

Oh, I get it. It's much easier to pick on someone when they're mostly alone and "different". Fuck off with that shit.

But yeah, thanks for STRAIGHTSPLAINING a GAY ship that isn't even canon in any way and never will be to QUEER PEOPLE.

🖕

🖕🏻🖕🏼🖕🏽🖕🏾🖕🏿

Babygirl Billy Butcher >>>>> Babygirl Homelander.

And that's a goddamn fact.

[absurdthirst]

Cherry picking responses to boost your ego and deleting my valid argument.

Now you have people quoting "character analysis" as a valid reason to shit on others lmao.

'My character analysis is definitely telling me since I don't see Joel having sex with men that is is my personal opinion. So sorry for gay folks who read and support my content, but i think you should know my very serious character analysis means you are wrong for thinking that way.'

And the fact you call this twisting the story when in reality these two things coincide is fucking hilarious and leads me to believe you are lowley homophobic.

You’re a fucking idiot. Just straight up.

NO WHERE WERE WE TALKING ABOUT CALLING PEOPLE WRONG FOR THINKING THE WAY THEY WANT TO THINK.

I was asked my GODDAMN OPINION ON THE CHARACTER. ASKED MY OPINION. I’m not invalidating anyone. Here’s the original post that started all this bullshit!

Where did I say anyone was wrong? Where was I saying they were gross? Where was I stating “this is fact and if you don’t agree with me, you’re fucked up?”

I knew - I fucking knew you were going to try to call me a homophobe.

Bisexual me with two fucking bisexual kids (that are still in a loving home and supported) and a shit ton of fucking gay friends. I’m a low key homophobe…🙄🙄🙄

Please go the fuck away, you moron. 🖕🖕🖕

Oh and here’s the goddamn valid argument I chose not to post because it makes no sense. I never said any of that. And you are just purposefully misreading, and twisting this into whatever narrative you’ve chosen I’ve made plenty of “straight appearing” characters bisexual, you imbecile.

[lightbulb-warning]

What's your opinion on the other games (THH, SDR2, and UDG)? I don't remember seeing you post about them much or at all

indeed! i haven't posted anything about them! (except one (1) kyoko cameo)

i do like the other games!! i've only watched playthroughs of dr1 and 2 (and read a summary of udg. i haven't had the time to watch a playthrough yet "OTL).

THH was popular when i was in middle school (Kyoko Kirigiri and Sakura Ogami were very relevant to my tween am-i-gay?™ crisis) and around that time SDR2 was already out, i think? (yes it was i just googled it.) so i have been an extremely casual dr enjoyer until recently. when drv3 came out i genuinely had no idea and legitimately thought it was a very elaborate fangame some people i followed occasionally posted about (hi, nice to meet you! im Very Dumb!!)

i got SUPER sick last summer so i watched a bunch of lets plays and now im in hyperfixation hell!!

DRV3 is specifically the game my brain has been obsessed with because themes of real vs fake/fiction vs reality/meta-bullshit fall directly into my personal interests. Plus, out of spite (and the game being on sale at one point), i actually played it on my own in may, which has just amplified my current hyperfixation and now im here. on tumblr. actually engaging in fandom. wowza.

ive been wanting to get more invested in the other games and actually play them!! and i wanna play rain code spoiler free really badly!! but unfortunately it's not something i can get to at the moment _(:'3 」∠)_ no videogame space in my budget rn *sobs* oooo you wanna commission me sooo baaad/j

hopefully i can change that soon! ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

here's some rapidfire opinions!!

makoto is so goddamn stupid i love that for him, he is genuinely so dumb. even though kyoko and togami are supposed to be on the smarter side, they are also occasionally morons (both of them. BOTH OF THEM went "poison? bet." and ingested it) therefore makoto comes off even DUMBER. (affectionate)

Aoi is wonderful and underrated i would die for her anytime.

Sakura? *starts crying hysterically* /pos

i am ENAMOURED with how the evolution of the MCs mechanics has been Makoto: I object! -> Hajime: I sustain! -> Kaede/Shuichi: I'm gonna commit PERJURY!

Hajime being a massive hater is incredibly funny to me good for him

kazuichi is a complete cringefail loser i love him

IBUKI????? IBUKI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i think about fuyuhiko and peko constantly. they spin in my brain and make me miserable. it's amazing.

also, no doy, but THE ARTSTYLE OF THESE GAMES. I GO BATSHIT STUPID. THE ART DIRECTION AND PSYCHOPOP ARE SO GOOD i eat i feast i go bonkers

and yeah. that's all for now, folks!

[sir-yeehaw-paws]

ocelot: [silver bullet line] [every single fucking thing he does in mgs3] [kisses snake on the cheek] [all but outright states he's in love with big boss]

gamer bros: okay but like we don't KNOW that he's gay. it's very much ambiguous and it's not at all that i personally am just extremely stupid and homophobic. we just don't know

i'm waiting for kojima to just tweet 'ocelot is gay' and leave everyone losing their goddamn minds. two men can literally have sex in game and gamer bros will come up with ten thousand increasingly moronic arguments as to why no you guys it's totally straight

Kojima happily rt's gay fanart but the denial is still oh so strong.

I do have a theory that a lot of these uber masculine super heterosexual dude bro types can't handle these characters being gay, because they LIKE these characters and think of them as dangerous, badass and cool. But their idea of gay men is only in the form of "men in pink on stage and singing theater songs' not 'war criminals involved in torture and espionage" and that by accepting these characters they like AREN'T heterosexual-their own masculinity has come under siege-because they CANNOT disconnect 'masculinity' from the crudest, most intensely toxic stereotypes culture has turned it into.

Of course-all I can do is theorize. But the desperate clinging at straws to use ANY argument that they possibly can to explain why the badass characters in their war and stealth media aren't gay or bi has a fairly desperate, pleading edge to it.

[besidesitstoowarm]

series 3 retrospective

martha jones. you were fantasic.

this season is like evenly split between half garbage and half genius. "blink" is easily one of the best episodes the show has ever put forth in 60 years; penis dalek. really nothing else to say there! sally sparrow and penis dalek. woag... the beauty of the world

i've said it in previous retrospectives but martha really got the short end of every single stick here. there were some HUGE shoes to fill in the first post-rose companion (even worse w catherine tate for the christmas special too!) and it's certainly not that i think freema agyeman can't fill them! i love martha! but the "colorblind" vibes of the casting really don't help. first black companion (sorry not counting mickey) and she's the doctor's rebound.

i'm not even sure what the solution is. i WANT to say that they could have the romantic aspect initially (they have some chemistry in "smith and jones") and maybe it would naturally peter out through the season? like she'd get to know him better and realize actually no thanks? "human nature" is kind of late in the season but it would be a really good environment for martha to go ACTUALLY i'm over your ass goodbye. idk i love her SO much but no matter what "first companion after rose" was ALWAYS going to be a hard sell, let alone "also romantically interested in the doctor" LET ALONE first black companion!! martha deserves better. in my mind she dates river.

i think the reason i love this season so much (besides martha my beloved martha) is that it suffers from "star wars prequels disorder" which is like, fantastic ideas hamfisted by a moron at the helm (also racism) like hooverville is a fantastic dw setting! understandable to modern audience but also thematically resonant. again i say this story makes more sense w cybermen than daleks BUT taking the "upgrade your abilities or die" and compounding it w the great depression is amazing!! bad story tho quite bad. "lazarus experiment" had so many points to make!! but the scorpion king was there. sad!

and of course. the goddamn master is here. again i must say, i KNOW they had crazy gay sex offscreen. this finale is easily my fave until s10 with the mondassion cybermen (<3 <3 <3). i honestly couldn't really explain why. the camp? the hobbit doctor and the world's worst cgi? whatever mental illness lucy saxon has they didn't explore? martha jones saving the world?? all of the above??

i really do love this season. for all the missteps, i do appreciate the work they DID put into miss martha jones and the weird relationship she had w the doctor. if it's true she returns for the 60th my dick is going to explode. there are some highkey BANGERS and some losers, which is always to be expected. i wish martha luck on completing her residency and look forward to DONNA NOBLE (and her granddad)

[princesscolumbia]

Putting this last reblog on blast because it's 100% correct. Even if I didn't infodump this would be worth the reblog on its own.

Don't try to be like something else that is popular. You'll never capture as much of that market share, period (I'd explain it but I'd need charts, graphs, and an easel), and you'll never break out of that demographic to people you could have otherwise had as your audience.

"Lesbian necromancers in space" is a perfect encapsulation of everything TLT. There are lesbians, there are necromancers, and it happens in space, and the venn diagram of the three concepts overlaps in surprising and confusing and surprisingly confusing and confusingly surprising ways and the absolute infodump those four words tells you about TLT as well as the many, many, MANY questions it leaves you with is the perfect analog to reading the books themselves. You get all you expected, you get more, every time you think on it or re-read it something jumps out at you that you didn't expect and couldn't have anticipated, but even on your (twenty) fifth re-read you STILL won't know everything you could possibly want, there will STILL be dangling plot threads, and there were STILL be so many unanswered questions and somehow Tasmuir makes it work and you're completely fine with all those unanswered questions.

If you try to replicate this formula for ANYTHING ELSE and change even one thing, you will LOSE WHAT MAKES TLT "THE LOCKED TOMB."

I absolutely adore Star Trek and still yearn to be an officer in Starfleet because they Boldly Go. I love Ranma 1/2 even with all it's 1980s problematic garbage because at its core it's about teens in love and Gender™ is a problem and they're all being Young and Dumb and Ranma don't lose and you just wish you could grab them by their shoulders and tell them to just talk to each other and OMG they're just so adorably disastertastic. She-ra was pivotal both as a baby-gay in the 1980s and coming into my gender and sexual identity in the 2010s-2020s. Sailor Moon gave me a teenage superhero who was a girl and still did girly things but could break the goddamn universe over her knee but didn't because even though she had power she had wisdom and courage and these were things I desperately wished I had growing up (even the "who was a girl" part, which I was never allowed to be). My Little Pony started as fun and whimsy and pastel playtime and ended up being a deep dive into interpersonal relationships, the meaning of love and care and appreciation, the intricacies of the human (yes, human) condition, and the understanding that "phenomenal cosmic power" does not equal an easy button for life. And The Locked Tomb was about being a completely fucked up moron at Life™ and 'you are NOT The One' and god-damn sister but you need to hydrate and take a nap but fuck me if the world isn't ending and there's bad guys to kill and girls to kiss and you can't take 'loved' away.

Star Trek is not Ranma 1/2 is not She-ra is not Sailor Moon is not My Little Pony is not The Locked Tomb.

And most importantly, they don't try to be.

(Yes, I know Trek influenced She-ra which influenced anime and came before Ranma and Sailor Moon and both of those influenced the new She-ra and MLP was parallel and borrowing from them all and Ranma is canonical within MLP and The Locked Tomb is the many-generations removed descendent of all those pop culture references and more. That's influence, not imitation.)

Each of these are powerful, influential pieces of media in their own right and if the creators had tried to jam one into the other (yes, yes, insert Gideon "Tower Prince" Nav making an insertion joke, then doubling down and making another joke about inserting an insertion joke into a joke about insertion) then the following piece of media would be just that...following. It would never get out of the shadow of its predecessor and never be able to do something the previous franchise didn't, no matter how good it is.

Don't believe me?

You know that really, really good sci-fi show Orwell that got started just before the pandemic and managed to be really phenomenal and thought provoking and had stellar character arcs and careful examination of the problems that face our society today?

Explain Orwell without mentioning Star Trek.

As good as it's become, with as many risks as its willing to take to stand on its own that the show has taken, sad to say it will always be baby sister to Trek and everyone will look at Orwell and wonder when Seth McFarlane became a captain of a Starfleet ship.

Don't try to be "The next Star Wars."

Don't try to be "The next Jane Austin."

Be the next you, be the best version of you and make the best thing that you can make.

[lovestuckyhatemarvel]

Woooo, let’s keep going.

1.) “Hey there.” Hey, Nancy.

2.) Steve frees himself by biting.

3.) I know people love to make Eddie horny about the bite and swing and like, they’re right.

4.) The wounds actually aren’t that bad.

5.) Rabies are scary but it does take a while for symptoms to set in.

6.) Steve’s job this season has been at least 70% saying shit that will be disproven immediately afterward.

7.) Say it with me: torture doesn’t work. And also why would this agent have the exact location anyway?

8.) How many times are we gonna see this stupid can of coke?

9.) Oh Owens sort of has a spine.

10.) Usually people aren’t so easily defined but sometimes they are. El is not a monster but you are, Brenner.

11.) “This place is not a prison, this is,” Brenner says as he taps El’s head. Okay I rolled my eyes hard enough I remembered I haven’t eaten yet today and I paused the show to eat. I cannot keep watching this moron on an empty stomach. I refuse. Oh dear fucking god. This episode is 1 hour and 41 minutes???? I have an hour and a half left oN THIS EPISODE?? FUCK YOU.

12.) idk why Bremer thinks it’d be bad to be like, “You didn’t massacre a bunch of kids.” Unless he actually is stupid enough to think she did it.

13.) Dustin is a terrible liar. And while lying to the cops is technically a crime, it is morally right.

14.) Steve is not fine, he’s falling over.

15.) Duffers, I do not want Steve and Nancy to date again and you ca’t make me.

16.) How’d Eddie manage to climb up that fallen tree without stepping on a vine but now needs to be extra careful climbing down?

17.) ‘FOr your modesty, dude’. Jealous.

18.) I love Steve in the vest and so does Eddie.

19.) Hopper wishing wistfully for El to come into her own while she’s in a place with Brenner is so sad.

20.) “Maybe I can still help El, even if it’s the last thing I do.” Hopper is the reason why I think El has to survive this show. For him. Because Hopper needs to know he’s not cursed. Because he doesn’t deserve to have another daughter die.

21.) Murray and Yuiri do not look THAT much alike, y’;all.

22.) Two, maybe don’t make yourself an obvious target.

23.) That was fucked up. Torturing kids is evil.

24.) All 3 saved Steve but Eddie’s the one Steve narrows in to thank.

25.) Steve is so pleased to find out Dustin bragged about him. Eddie thinks Steve is a good dude. That’s like, huge praise from Eddie.

26.) I feel bad for the Duffers trying to even have Eddie be like ‘soooo Nancy and you?’ And almost none of the fans were like ‘yes, Steve and Nancy.’ Straight guys don’t stand this close together usually, guys. And they usually don’t stare into each other’s eyes.

27.) Thank God, the earthquake interrupted the script desperately trying to hook up a couple that doesn’t work.

28.) Erica found gay porn under Lucas’ bed, right?

29.) I love Lucas and Erica.

30.) Wait is it now being decided that El opening a gate requires contacting a monster in the Upside Down????

31.) No guns and Nancy figures out they’re in the past, specifically November 6th, 1983.

32.) Steve hears Dustin. Because they’re buddies. Flipping the switch does something. There’s now shimmery light on the chandelier.

33.) Eddie knows SOS. <3

34.) Wow, RUDE, Dustin.

35.) MURRAY STOP PLAY ACTING IN THE FUCKING CELL. OH MY GOD.

36.) Okay they’ve never met Yuri before.

37.) Murray is so fucking worried and he should be. Oh, Joyce recognizes that sound.

38.) IDK why the other kids are blaming El. Brenner literally said she didn’t talk. Two gave himself away by being a moron.

39.) CHESS. I one time started to learn Chess on a Simmons board and never was as good on a normal board as I was on that.

40.) WHY DO THE OTHER KIDS HATE EL SO FUCKING MUCH????? WHY HAS BRENNER BEEN PLANNING IT??????? NONE OF THE RAINBOW ROOM SHIT MAKES ANY GODDAMN SENSE.

41.) This better be Henry lying because if not, this isn’t Brenner playing chess, this is a pigeon shitting on a chessboard.

42.) Damn, they covered that board fast.

43.) Eddie and Steve commiserating on Dustin being a butthead.

44.) My roommate reminded me that there are syndication rules and so the reason the seasons are so breakneck and short in terms of episode numbers is so the show isn’t available for syndication. That’s why we’re getting a full ass movie length episode every episode this season. So Netflix can screw people.

45.) BIKES. Steve should be wincing when he moves though, let alone biking.

46.) Max is the best.

47.) “Oh, pigs, oh PIGS. Let Officer Callahan in.” One, who are you calling pig, pig? Two, are you comparing yourself to the big bad wolf?

48.) Erica MY NEW FAVORITE CHILD. DID YOU SLASH A COP’S TIRE? I’VE NEVER BEEN PROUDER.

49.) Four bikes.

50.) Is no one monitoring the cameras here?

51.) Has anyone done an AU where Henry was genuine in his help?

52.) Let’s see how bad this CGI demogorgon is. But of course the lighter isn’t working.

53.) FOr a demogorgon that is being routinely fed, this one looks scrawny. Also yeah, the CGI is bad.

54.) Okay why would the guard open the door, Murray? There’s a monster that will kill him.

55.) Of course the fire goes out just as the door is closing.

56.) nICE THROW, HOP.

57.) Aw, Hopper and Joyce reunited.

58.) How fucking close to the trailer park is Creel house????

59.) Bada Bada Boom. The gate is open and they can care each other.

60.) I just realized I don’t know why El was in a hospital gown this entire time? None of the other kids wear one.

61.) Henry goes from ‘powers blocked’ to ‘complete control’ in like 10 seconds.

62.) Eddie why did you bring up the stains? Also those are huge. Are you just jerking off directly onto your bed????

63.) Robin and then Eddie. Try not to stare at Eddie’s ass, Steve. And then Nancy does get to falling, but falls into a vision. Wait how is she standing on the ground again?

64.) Oh now she sees Barb in the pool. This is the first time she’s seen this though. So Nancy seeing this now makes sense. She would now know it’s the pool. I just don’t think any of them know until this season though.

65.) El literally missed so much murder hiding in a closet. And now she’s going down the very flickers hallways to find the Rainbow Room completely decimated. She literally missed ALL the murders except for Two’s.

66) Why is Henry so powerful? How did he even get his powers? What even is his motivation????? Why does this character make no goddamn sense?????

67.) Sweet of Vecna to give Nancy a full villain hallucination backstory. Are we literally trying to say Henry/Vecna/One was a child psychopath or something? Why was there a nest of black widows in a vent? What’s this got to do with anything? God, this character is dumb and pretentious.

68.) ?????? I’d argue black widows also operate under the wake up, work, eat, reproduce, sleep, die cycle even more than humans do.

69.) Okay so he was just an evil child. An evil, judgmental child. Why? Because fuck you, that’s why.

70.) Why would killing people make him stronger???

71.) Literally why would Henry think Eleven is better than the rest of the kids?????

72.) Why would El need to think about any memories other than the fucking DOZENS OF CORPSES SHE’S GONE PAST?

73.) fucking what????????? Is El REMEMBERING BEING BORN? FUCKING WHAT? I’M SORRY. WHAT? I FUCKING HATE THIS SHOW. THIS IS SO STUPID. I CAN’T BELIEVE THE THING THAT HELPS HER BEAT HENRY THE FIRST TIME IS REMEMBERING HER OWN GODDAMN BIRTH. Also! HEY, not to be a party pooper BUT NEWBORNS CAN’T REALLY FUCKING SEE MORE THAN 6 INCHES AWAY FROM THEIR GODDAMN FACE.

74.) Honestly how did Henry/Vecna/One survive El doing that? Like he’s just falling around in the sky and getting struck by lightning too???? None of this makes any goddamn sense. Not even in this world.

75.) YEAH, I KNOW HENRY IS VECNA. YOU DIDN’T NEED TO SHOW THE TATTOO. Although. How does he still have the tattoo and why is it bigger? God, you guys really think 14 year olds are morons.

I need too take a break from this show. It’s so stupid. Oh my god.

[transwicky]

so I’m re reading Check Please again, as one does, and I’m at The Closet Story Part 1 and can we just please talk about this part

these 2 saw what I’m only half sure is a *stereotype about gay men, and decided he likes girls who can bake.

I can’t tell if they’re absolute morons, or if they’re being purposefully obtuse.

P sure they just being morons though

* I googled and found nothing about baking being a stereotype about gay men, but I sure as shit found that “it’s more about misogyny rather than homophobia” so I’m 90% sure it’s not that kind of stereotype, but I’m guessing there’s bullying over men/boys baking because it’s a “Girl thing”** so that’s what they meant about it being about misogyny rather than homophobia.

**Listen, my dad is from Alabama, is 6′, in his fifties, and back in the day, he was in the navy (he was a submariner, AKA on a submarine for those who might not know that) and he bakes. Literally he was the night baker/cook (he did both) on the submarine he was stationed on, and I assure you, nobody gave him shit (then again, the submariners, if not entire navy, know not to piss of the people cooking your food (yes there is a story, and it’s hilarious). But even post navy, my dad didn’t get shit for it. He worked in a goddamn bakery??? And he looks like just some dude, albeit a tall and potentially scary dude if you anger him, and not once has anyone gave him shit for doing a “Girly thing” like baking, or assumed he was gay or something (not that I’m aware of at least lmao). and you know what? He bakes some damn good pies that Bitty would either be proud or jealous of (or so I’m told because I have texture issues and pie fillings are a Yuck, so I don’t eat any pie but 1 that isn’t even “real pie”).

so yeah all signs point to Holster and Ransom being morons, and I love that for them, because they clearly decided “oh he bakes, nice, oh he must like BAKER GIRLS” rather than went “that’s such a girly thing to do”

the point on this post got lost because I used google but yeah so there’s no point to this anymore. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[agmapansa3008]

People on this site, trying to keep it cool, assuring others that they are watching Manner of Death for the plot and not the hot men.

Y'all, even the hot men are just there for the hot men, we're good.

[ramblingautisticman]

YES PLEASE!

Logan thinks everything is fine, he thinks that him and Wade are going strong, maybe even getting closer than he thought they could (because everything they do has to be gay. Is gay. Will be gay.)

Then one day Wade just wakes up and seems annoyed. Logan assumes it's a bad pain day, so does his usual thing. Gets blankets and hot water bottles ready on the couch, snacks in arms reach and the TV playing Adventure Time- only for Wade to completely ignore all of that and sit in the kitchen- as if purposely trying not to acknowledge Logan and what he did.

So Logan attempts to bring it up. Trys to ask if Wade is okay, how bad the pain is, if he wants to just stay in bed instead of out here, and he is just instantly met with annoyance and anger. Which doesn't seem like Wade to him. So he thinks, okay, bad dream then. Wade needs a minute alone.

Logan heads over to the couch, and sits down, definitely not watching Adventure Time (he loves it, he just doesn't want anyone to know) and waits for Wade to come and join him when he feels better. Only Wade never comes and sits with him- intead he disappears into the bedroom- and Logan doesn't like that. He can hear Wade breathing, but he isn't asleep. So he hasn't gone in there to catch up on missed rest. He has gone in there go hide from Logan. Which hurts more than it probably should.

He sits out in the open living area for awhile long, waits until lunch, and when Wade still hasn't come out he decides enough is enough. He makes Wade some food (a microwave burrito that's the only things Wade has been eating for like a month) and heads into the bedroom to try and make peace. Though, it doesn't exactly go that way.

Wade is instantly annoyed that Logan brought him food- doesn't even take the plate- doesn't even look at Logan. He just sits and stares at the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. "Come on Wade- talk to me- what's wrong? If it's not pain or-or a bad dream, what is it? Did I do something? Because if I did, I have no fucking idea wh-"

And Wade instantly turns around, glaring at Logan. "You know what? You're a fucking joke. No wonder the Avengers didn't take you- or the X-Men- nd they'll take fuckin' anyone. I mean, you are a ridiculous, immature, half-wit moron. I have never met a sadder, more attention-starved jabbering little prick in my entire life and that says a lot cause I've been alive for more than 200 fucking years! And I'll tell ya, that bald chick was right about one thing. You will never save the world. You couldn't even save a relationship with a goddamn stripper! And motherfucker I wish I could say you die alone, but it's one of god's best jokes that you can't die, except that's on all of us!"

Oh. That wasn't what he expected. Logan honestly hadn't even thought about any of that since it happened. He assumed they both knew it was just him being pissed off and rambling. Had Wade really been thinking about it all this time? Why had he memorised it? And why was he suddenly NOW upset by it?

"Wade, come on. That was ages ago. I didn't even mean any of it, you know that." He tries to shrug it off, but Wade just shakes his head and goes back to sulking.

Suddenly, Logan doesn't know what to do. There isn't an easy fix for this. He knew all of the other things that helped fix Wade's issues. Pain = Blankets, Snacks, Adventure Time and cuddles. Nightmares = Alone time followed by a walk with Mary Puppins. Bad Missions = Shitty Bagels and Whiskey. This? This was new. Sure, they had fought a few times since he moved in, but they never really had to do much about it. It fixed itself. This didn't seem like it would though.

So for the next week, Logan tries to make it up to Wade. He tries to apologise and offers to watch anything he wants on the TV without complaint. Offers to go to the store and get any snacks and food he wants. Offers to make every meal for the next month. None of it works. Wade is still mad at him. And Logan can't stand it.

He hates that Wade is quiet- hates that Wade won't talk to him- won't make jokes or rant about random shit. Logan hates the silence. He also hates how he feels.

He hadn't meant to hurt Wade that much- and in the moment he knew he had- but he really had forgotten about it. He didn't think twice about apoligiseing afterwards because why would he need too? Surely he proved that none of that was true when he helped Wade save his universe? Obviously not, but Logan hadn't thought about it. Like everything else that hurt Wade or upset him, Wade let it fester until it finally came out.

He had been kicked out of the bedroom too, which sucked. Logan had grown used to sleeping next to Wade. The couch felt cold and empty and alone. It felt like he was back home. No- not home- because home was here with Wade and Al and Mary Puppins. It felt like he was back there. In his own universe. And he really didn't like that either.

So after a week of begging and apologising, Logan gave up. Just decided that Wade didn't want an apology, and that once again, he had ruined the one good thing he had. He spent a good few days of sleepless nights up on the roof in the cold, just watching the city because he needed to do something. He hated sitting in the silence of the apartment knowing that when Wade woke up there would still be that silence.

During all this, Wade was obviously upset- but more with himself than Logan (because Wade)- and he hated that everything he said was right. Everything Logan said in that stupid car was correct. It didn't matter if it was in the heat of the moment, it didn't matter if he was talking about himself too, it was all true.

And suddenly, when he realised that him and Logan were getting closer, Wade remembered all of that shit and realised that Logan didn't need him. Logan didn't want him. Shouldn't. Logan needed better and Logan deserved better. So he did the one thing he knew he was good at. Pushing people away.

It was easy, in the beginning, to be mad at Logan and just ignore him. It got harder as he was clearly trying his best to fix things. And it got ever harder when Logan stopped.

And eventually, maybe Wade realised that what he was doing was stupid- or maybe the bed just felt too empty without Logan- because he tried to sneak into the living room and onto the couch with the other, only to realise he was gone.

Which hits Wade like a ton of bricks. Logan wasn't there. He hadn't said he was leaving- hadn't even spoken to Wade these past few days- so he didn't even have anything to go on. He didn't mean to make Logan leave, he just wanted him to pull back alittle. Realise he didn't need Wade. Which- in a way- he supposes he did. Even if it is breaking his heart and brings tears to his eyes.

Naturally, he does the one thing he can. Lay on the couch, surround himself with the blanket Logan used, and cry until he passes out. Obviously. He doesn't want to look for Logan- not if he doesn't want to be here.

And eventually, he opens his eyes when he hears the door open and shut, quickly sitting up as he sees who it is. "Logan?" Was all he would say as he rushes over to the man, quickly wrapping his arms around him tightly.

"Oh uh- Wade..." Logan whispers back, freezing for a second before quickly doing the same, pulling Wade as tight as he can against his chest.

Both of them try and apoligise at the same time.

"I'm sorry- I didn't mean any of what I said- it was more about me and I was just angry and upset and-and the Avengers and the X-Men would be lucky to have you- and it isn't your fault thongs didn't work out with Vanessa either and I promise your not annoying or anything and please please talk to me again-"

"Logan I didn't mean to make you so upset- I just- I was worried and anxious and stupid and I'm really sorry- and I really really missed you and I hate sleeping on my own its so cold- and I just want everything to go back to how it was and I want us to go back to how we were and I'm sorry- please don't leave-"

I will NEVER get over Logan's rant in the Haunda.

Not only because of the way you can absolutely see how Logan is also talking about himself specifically, but also the impact it must have had on Wade. We have never seen at least in my memory Wade actually come up short on something to say. This genuinely got him and on top of that Logan read him like a book. He hit every sore spot he ever had and Logan knew that.

Truly that rant will haunt Wade and I want more people to talk about that. I want Logan to think everything is hunky dory and then Wade to just out of nowhere quote him verbatim out of spite one day he gets a little too annoyed.

I need Logan to realize how bad he fucked up to see just how strongly that little tirade had affected Wade. I want there to be hurt before there's something better.