#so first of all I'm fine.
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#so first of all I'm fine.#second of all I don't know if that's a lie or not but like. by some stretch it's gotta be true#so it doesn't count as a lie to my code of honor.#anyway. I keep fucking losing it y'all#I.... even now on depression medication I'm still breaking down what feels like fucking daily#it's just in different ways#crying harder than I have in a while and feeling more panicked about than like I'm releasing emotion#it's more distant but for some reason it's. easier to conceptualize uh#....tw here for like self harm and suicidal thoughts don't read the rest of these if you don't wanna see that#some reason it's easier to conceptualize the idea of. cutting myself? it never felt like a possibility before#id think about it and know I'd never do it. but. now....#.....i can't help but find myself wondering if it *would* feel good. to hurt. to see my own blood#........there are so many people who's lives I've touched that would be saddened if I were gone but#it's.....harder to use that to ground myself. to pull myself away from the thoughts of just......#..........stopping#ending everything. i dunno. fuck.#....a few weeks ago I found myself wanting to roll out of the moving car and could feel myself able to#reach for the seatbelt buckle and the door handle#........im not okay and honestly I don't know if I care#sometimes I do but when I feel like this it feels impossible TO care#it feels so distant. i feel so distant. I feel so nothing and so bad at the same time#i feel so fucking ugly#so much self hatred rearing it's head where I thought I'd gotten past it#i have a therapy appointment at the end of March and I'm not sure if that's soon enough.
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hewwo
#stargate sg1#stargate atlantis#neko atsume#almost cried drawing that cute little fucking tac vest on jack btw. look at him.#not in love with all of the atlantis team especially rodney and weir and tela i fuckim struggled with them#like i'm happy with how they look it's fine but short of sticking a maple leaf on rodney or something you know#it's the props#i couldn't figure out how to make who they were obvious. idk man they're cute and i know who they are I guess. felt the same with sam tbh#giving her a little math sheet felt a lil cheap but you know what it's done i'm not gonna keep workin on these the gateroom killed me dead.#also i woulda done the other sg1 members that show up later but I haven't gotten there yet in my watch-thru.#like i saw them as a kid when it was airing on tv but not yet while actually paying attention to things like the plot#my posts#my art#stargate#the sg1 one was done first so that's why i didn't end up putting a lot of detail into the planet they landed on vs how much detail#i had to keep leaving out of the fucking got dam gateroom why is there so much detail in that room hey guys what the hell is up with that r
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Missed drawing these two too
Bonuses
#rendoc#still thinking about them a lot#always#hermitshipping#sorry for the weird empty area in the first one. It was my attempt to make it take up less of people's timelines#this art is so embarrassing lol but man I like when Doc's drawn as a big goat man I have no defense I plead the fifth#or well at least it becomes embarrassing when its. shippy#whatever Tumblr people are usually cool so here goes!!#I am 99% a fluff and hurt/comfort person. Idc how frisky these guys get in fanon all I can ever think of is fluff sorry#Also contemplated implementing Doc's accent into the dialogue but I am forever paranoid of offending someone lol#idk how to write accents etc but you guys will make it sound fine in your heads I'm sure#hermitblr#tubby art
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the lovers, reversed
(aka I'm still freaking out about Jou)
#art#ride kamens#i am about to go off on wild speculation so excuse me in advance#I HAVEN'T PLAYED THE EVENT YET so this could all be just absolutely nothing but i gotta get it out#(still debating if i wanna save the event for after i finish part 2 or not...)#this is my last chance to throw wacky theories out there okay#i've just. been thinking a lot about the riders the characters are based on and how they relate to their different classes#like the choices seemed SO random when they were first revealed but they do mostly make sense when you think about it#to the point where i actually do feel like i should've been able to call ooo for ambition. damnit.#however i did always feel like jou was a bit of an outlier and now i'm wondering if that's gonna be like...a thing#idk man just the fact that he's gonna have a special double card and bond henshin with taiten is nuts to me#especially since we're clearly on the verge of SOMETHING happening with soun and uryuu#what does it mean. WHAT DOES IT MEAN#what does this mean for the future of tower emblem#and it hasn't escaped me that there is no class associated with evolution (YET)#and thinking about who jou is based on i'm just like#(waves hands) YOU KNOW?!#(plus i'm still like WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR RUI AND HAYATE but that's a separate thing)#i'm gonna try and take my time and not rush through part 2 but i also am SO impatient#i gotta knooooow#given the way my predictions tend to go though i'm either 100% accidentally right about the dumbest thing#or jou is fine but leon fucking dies or something and i'm gonna throw my phone into a lake#HAVE FUN GUYS I GUESS
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no way she's alive ?? yea those mental health breaks because social media makes people suck are wild huh
#star wars#clone wars#star wars fanart#ahsoka tano#captain rex#anyway i bring you this a) because i'm going back to my tcw roots of late and b) because i miss them terribly#as you can see because i can't handle reality i put her in the novel design#cause wdym they split up after order 66 haha what no that didn't happen you're crazy#read it however you want idc ^^)b any interpretation of their dynamic is the best one i think#yea anyway in this amount of time i've gotten a lot better at anatomy and i don't really care about social media anymore#but i have like nowhere to put my art now so *shrug*#star wars the clone wars#artists on tumblr#i've wanted to do one of those post-type drawings and i am .-+ too lazy +-. to color it sooo#signature got cropped sigh. whatever#if you see a mistake no you don't. you know the drill#also i finally watched bad batch season 3 around christmastime and hewiutgeh.#singlehandedly took the show from a 4 to a 10 for me so thx dave filoni we love u as always >>>#lowk kinda missed it here *gazes fondly at the bot spam and screaming and cursing in my feed*#btw i have never used instagram in my life so if this is formatted wrong it's your fault. bye#someone tell me whether or not i should tag this as rxsk because i am very much debating#does tumblr even like them anymore ?? i know ao3 does they're still going crazy over there (>1k works God bless)#“bro's first post back and she's yapping her head off” cmon you know me by now anyway can we talk about season 7 ahsoka#i find no fault in her. she is perfect. she is the greatest version of any star wars character ever at all#no i will not be thinking about whether or not anyone told her about fives. no i will not be thinking about whether or not anyone told echo#ok that's enough bye i'll wait for this to get four notes at most and three of them being comments screaming at me#one more thing uhh suspend your disbelief since anakin liked the post. rots didn't happen and everything is fine !!#my art
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Me: hm, I want something to put on the TV as background noise... Huh. Looks like YouTube is recommending something called The Last Unicorn. That's perfect, it's probably some old shitty animation that has aged poorly! I can watch it ironically!
Me, 2 hours later as the credits roll: *crying, cheering, buying the book, composing the songs*
Me, 2 weeks later: So I have compiled all of the quotes from the book that I think could make good tattoos, and also, HOW HAVE I NEVER LEARNED ABOUT HOW THE LAST UNICORN FUCKING SLAPS??? This gay-ass little fairytale fed my soul! Watered my crops! Transed my gender! Can't believe I heard of this story from youtube recommendations, of all places!!
#original#the last unicorn#tlu#peter s beagle#molly gru#schmendrick#schmendrick the magician#two of my favorite characters in anything right there in the center of the story! and I'm glad I saw the film first!#my reading ability has diminished due to trauma disability etc. but it seems like having a visual reference actually really helped!#no wonder i only ever want to read fan fic! turns out reading is not actually Superior to other types of Storytelling. it's just different.#to say otherwise is snobbishness I have been eminently guilty of in my life!#but like it is easier for me to consume tv and movies and that is fine actually. also that's why I'm doing a graphic novel lol#because i wanted to make something i would actually be able to read if i found it at a library. altho the audio book IS gonna be bomb#the audiobook is for visually impaired readers and anyone who wants or needs it! accessible stories for everyone! yeah!!#my gender was already transed but now I've gained an ADDITIONAL gender! which one? I'll never tell 😘#i am so powerful i have so much fuckin gender. my wife has no gender. and she is equally as powerful.#and also she has STUDIED THE BLADE#mostly zoro's blades from One Piece#normally YouTube recommends me shit movies like idiocracy or smth this is like if every day ur cat brought you a piece of rotten food and#then one day it brings you a BEAUTIFULLY ANIMATED TALE FEATURING MY BELOVED TWINK FUCK-UP WIZARD FRIEND AND MY ALL-TIME HOMEGIRL MOLLY GRU#and also it's soft and beautiful and funny and fucking weird!! i wrote melodies to the songs in the books on my ukulele
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Rereading the Our Worlds at War tie-in again and God I miss their friendship every day
#they're such an underrated dynamic from this series#like throughout yj98 there's a definite distance between tim and everybody else since he can't reveal his identity to them#and cassie is definitely way closer to cissie and kon and bart than she is to him bc of that distance#and you can feel that awkwardness here in the way she apologizes to him immediately -- they're not at the level#where she can just shout and be mean to him and know it'll be fine -- not like she is with cissie or kon#but for tim -- i think he is at that level? like he wouldn't shout at her either but that's cause he's generally sweet to the yj girls#he doesn't butt heads with cassie like he does with the guys - but i also think she's someone he trusts to have his back in a very real way#and i think it's really telling that when everybody was confronting him about batman's contingencies it was CASSIE'S opinion#he asked for -- like she was the last person he thought would think that of him#obligatory 'the two people who died in his granny goodness nightmare were cassie and kon'#idk there's such an undercurrent of care even if they don't get as many 'this is my best friend' moments like some of the others#aghhhh#and the way cassie so clearly respects his opinion and is so worried he'll be mad at her when she replaces him as leader#the way she's the first one to hug him when he comes back to the team after he quits#oof. OOF. they're friends they're friends they LOVE EACH OTHER#sorry everyone i'm getting all up in my feelings again that they're the only ones left after infinite crisis#tim drake#cassie sandsmark#dc robin#wonder girl#young just us#young justice#yj98#dc comics#cassie tag#tim tag#gnome talks comics
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Just two siblings back from the dead, hanging out, totally not using this opportunity to torment one another for the rest of time! <3
Chara Week Day 4: Flowers
[Image Description: A digital drawing of Chara and Flowey from Undertale. They're on the Surface, with grass and trees and mountains stretching out behind them. Chara has golden flowers clustered around their left eye and speckled in their hair and on their hands. They're kneeling on the ground and smiling wide, holding Flowey's flower pot in one arm. Their other hand is outstretched in front of them and holding a camera. Flowey has a red bow wrapped around his stem and stickers in the shape of hearts, stars, and smiley faces decorating his pot. He looks annoyed as Chara leans their face in close to his to take a photo. /End ID]
#chara week#chara week 2023#safeutdr#undertale#chara dreemurr#my art#flowey#undertale flowey#undertale chara#chara undertale#flowey undertale#chara#there were a lot of things I could have done with the flowers prompt but I wanted to do something more wholesome than my last post#plus this was the first thing that came to mind. flowey is a flower. and I usually draw Chara with flowers all over them post-pacifist so#it's like the golden flowers became a part of both of them after they got resurrected. ✨symbolism ✨ idk.#the stickers on Flowey's pot are courtesy of Frisk. they like decorating everything with stickers#also. sorry for giving every character I draw black nail polish. it will happen again. </3#i'm not super satisfied with the background of this one because I was pretty lazy with it and it doesn't mesh well with the foreground#buuuuut I'm fine with it because I don't want to spend more time fixing it. and it's like. fine. just not as good as it COULD be#also I'm new to writing image descriptions so if there's anything I could adjust/describe better let me know#I just thought I should try adding one when I can#🌼
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i'm going to pass out i never thought i needed Agatha in old money preppy clothes until i saw this
#the woman is so fine#for god's sake#she's giving gossip girl downtown abbey#also billy looking all preppy 😭#on another note: i'm sure sharon will end up so fucked up after this challenge#i bet it's their first challenge once they get into the road and i'm so excited to see it#agatha harkness#agatha all along#kathryn hahn
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I'm sorry I let down my guard.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#xue yang#xiao xingchen#God DAMN this scene was brutal. Season 2 episode 2 is almost nothing but misery and anguish#Helena by Nickle Creek does not quite fit the comic's vibe but it is absolutely a Xue Yang song so I linked it.#The change from “Helena don't walk away...(gentle)” to “HELENA. DON'T WALK AWAY (threat)” is fantastic.#And “Don't waste your pretty sympathy - I'll always be just fine”. Xue Yang core.#Okay now for the real meat. Disclaimer first: *I really like XY.* I think he's a great character. I think his actions consistently-#come from a place of deep trauma. While his reactions and actions put him in a villainous role he is still human about his hurt#and what I'm about to say is NOT intended to be a statement of causality or villianize a group of misunderstood people.#So with that said...Man oh man does Xue Yang have a lot of BPD traits. More that just 'character who is chronically manipulative'.#The impulsivity and emotional reactions and seeking stability makes him feel like he needs that control. What other choice is there?#The part that really gets me is how he *wants* to be safe and happy. But his past experiences tell him how thats impossible#He's the kind of person who goes 'if you don't like me then you better hate me for something substantial". All (pos) or All (neg)#''Love me entirely or Hate me. But don't you dare leave me or forget about me.''#Not at all comfortable saying 'BPD coded'. Im not a psychiatrist. Just that he has TRAITS. Feel free to disagree or add your thoughts.#ppl with bpd also are not a monolith and everyone has very different experiences. Xue yang is very complex. People more so.
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Blood sugar levels (Patreon)
#Doodles#ISaT#Siffrin#And implied Isa and Mira from offscreen but it's fine lol#Kinda sorta spoilers in the tags be warned#Man these poses were fun to draw - hand poses and body and ah <3 Fun!#This was one of those comics that came to me pretty much fully formed and then I had to do it - it was very fun which I'm very glad for!#Probably the funnest were the first - third - and fourth panels :D#The way their cloak falls around them ah pretty <3#That big spooky eye hidden under the brim of their hat <3#That one was really fun to edit too :D Writing [FAILURE] elsewhere on the page and then overlaying it :) Fun!#I wonder if Siffrin would die of starvation faster than normal due to the [redacted]#And since that would kill him it'd make him loop back - even tho it's also somewhat powered by food?#It's curious! I like it :)#I imagine his innate magic also powers it somewhat but hmmm recursive#Not that he died here anyway :) One of those fun ones before Loop spells it out for him :)#I have to wonder if All those loops we don't get to see are mundane hmm ♪ How many of them are forced out of Sif's mind so we as the player#Will just never know ♪ I suppose we'll never know! Haha#The exhaustion of having to keep his body running it's really the depression simulator#Sif :( They're gonna worry about you anyway!#It's amazing what our minds just refuse to process when we're in The Sads™ haha
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Phil: You know, I found something out– I found something out that sickened me recently. Did you know… that Quackity hasn't seen all of Breaking Bad? Isn't that fckin' crazy? [Laughs]
Phil: [Coughs] Or am I thinking of Charlie? [Coughs] I might be thinking of Charlie. [Coughs] Kristin, was it Quackity or Charlie? 🤔 My brain's not brain-ing. 🤒
Phil talks about Breaking Bad and Quackity's party (with the memory of a sick man who was very drunk 😅).
[ Full Transcript ↓ ]
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Phil: You know, I found something out– I found something out that sickened me recently. Did you know… that Quackity hasn't seen all of Breaking Bad? Isn't that fckin' crazy? [Laughs]
Phil: [Coughs] Or am I thinking of Charlie? [Coughs] I might be thinking of Charlie. [Coughs] Kristin, was it Quackity or Charlie? 🤔
Kristin: [In chat] do you mean charlie? charlie hasnt seen it. its ran and charlie
Phil: My brain's not brain-ing. 🤒 [Reading her message] "It's Ran and Charlie" OHHHH– It is! [Groans then laughs] Brain's not brain-ing. It's not Quackity. It's Ran and Charlie. Ran and Charlie haven't seen Breaking Bad.
Kristin: quackity had the walter white at his place, i highly doubt he hasnt seen it
Phil: For some reason– I was- I was very drunk though, to be fair. So like, I'm definitely misremembering. Kristin, you'd remember much better than me. I was very very drunk at his place. [Laughs] I have not gotten that drunk in a LONG-ass time. He kept offering shots, man! He just wouldn't stop making us shots. How dare he be such a good host.
#Philza#Phil#Quackity#(Mentioned)#Kristin#Misstrixtin#January 10 2025#Phil: I'm totally fine I'm not super sick I'm ok to stream today#Also Phil: Did you know Quackity hasn't seen all of Breaking Bad?#Quackity is the biggest Breaking Bad fan I've ever seen lmao#The first time I even heard about the show was when Quackity talked about it#Timestamp: 2:03:20#He also answered a question about it during that DSMP panel a billion years ago#Edited#I've been watching Quackity for a long time so I know he's a huge fan#I gasped when Phil said that but tbf at first I thought he said Quackity hadn't watched it PERIOD
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does anyone else get so upset when you think about all the things that happened to your f/o... all the things they went through? all the things they haven't healed from? the pain that they may still be enduring? how you can do your best to help them but you can't protect them from everything. so you just love them the ways they needed before, how they deserved. and you see them happy because they finally accept, at least in some ways, that they do deserve it. they deserve love like all beings do
#i get so upset when i think about it for too long; i'm there for them now but there was nothing i could do; wanna go back and protect them#i'm like this with everyone i care about (real and fictional) and sometimes it's hard#it's about hans this time. i just can't believe all the things that happened to him#no wonder he's terrible! no one cared about him! why should he care! all he knows is pain and neglect! except from me!#i know why he sees everyone else as worthless because that's exactly how everyone he knew saw him first; he was supposed to be loved#they all used him up til he was nothing and that's all he knows#i can't even read certain parts of a frozen heart again because i just cried so much the first time... he didn't deserve that#no one does#and then the comics detailing it all even FURTHER#he was like any other innocent kid and seeing that progression hurt so much. i could get into the details but ugh#hux's age of resistance comic did the same thing. i can't even look at the first 2 pages; it's too much. i just want to hold him#anyway... i'm fine :') i've made a post like this before but i'm feeling it so hard right now#self ship
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stupid fucking bastard. i am not coping with the leaks
#dead leaf for leafpool and gull feathers for feathertail#like yeah it's funny that cherith does whatever the hell she wants as soon as she's in the driver's seat#but it's also baffling and frustrating that she wanted this in the first place#crowfeather or at least the version of him in my head is a fun and interesting character because he's shitty#in the newer books there's been a weird attitude toward him where the other characters think he's irritable but also noble and attractive#also tawnypelt is such a nothing character it's upsetting that all she's ever been is an accessory to the men around her#her father her brother her mate her son her grandson(s)#and her pov is no longer merely boring but actually insufferable thanks to her poorly handled “kids these days” plots#if it were up to me#the new prophecy would focus more on tawnypelt feeling out of place in shadowclan and struggling to prove her loyalty#contrasting brambleclaw who is generally accepted in thunderclan but victimizes himself due to his insecurity#i would also explore how tawnypelt and rowanclaw get together since he hates her in one scene and then they're lovey dovey in the next#although this does seem to be the basis of many warriors relationships#i'm not sure how i feel about tawnypelt getting a second mate as an elder but i don't want to begrudge old people finding love again#so i'm fine with it as long as it's not crowfeather#as for crowfeather#he would fall hard and fast for feathertail because she's pretty and shows him kindness but i want it to be one-sided#then he would fall hard and fast for leafpool for the same reasons#she runs away with him not because she loves him but because clan society is suffocating and she needs an escape#so when they get back to the clans she moves on pretty quickly but he lives a long and miserable life pining after her#his clanmates quietly avoid him because they don't like him that much because why would they and so he never becomes deputy#i can see him trying to reconnect with breezepelt and nightcloud as an elder#not necessarily because he realizes how shitty he is but because he wants a relationship with his granddaughters but it's strained#and then he dies! i'm tired of writing and being frustrated by these stupid books so i'm ending it here#changing skies spoilers#crowfeather#warrior cats#eel art#eel text
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Makin our way
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[[ All Croissant Adventures (chronological, desktop) ]]
[[ All Croissant Adventures (app) ]]
#I was so scared to use any allies I didn't want anyone to die#I also didn't know what half of all my new resources did#This last portion of the game is really cool from a story standpoint and a bit frustrating from a gameplay standpoint#Had to throw our a globe of invuln immediately bc Orpheus kept getting targeted and I've never used an illithid before LMAO#Gale was off somewhere else casting firewall and generally having a bad time#But yeah I'm a resource hoarder so I just...called the hellriders when things looked bad and didn't use anyone else for these first fights#it was fine we're all fine#bg3#baldur's gate 3#bg3 spoilers#act III spoilers#croissant adventures#tav#prince orpheus#lae'zel#hellriders#shadowheart#comics
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thinking about,,, drunk sneezes
not only the possibility of sensitivity to wine/etc itself but just. the alcohol fuzziness meaning maybe they let a sneeze creep up on them without noticing, and the lack of inhibitions meaning they let it out without any shame they may usually have..... maybe even being more dramatic than usual, louder, bending at the waist, dazed after.... accepting care they may usually deny because they are drunk and happy and vulnerable
#i'm fine i'm normal#snz kink#snz fet#alcohol tw#(???)#of course i am thinking about modern au hc because i am nothing if not a one-trick-pony rn#xl watching him go all loose and fuzzy with delight and then he starts /sneezing/#hooh boy#also tho i am having THOUGHTS about canon t/gcf 👀#iirc in japan saké is often used in purifying rituals#i'm not as familiar with chinese culture so idk if rice wine is used similarly there#but the idea of a purifying/blessed alcohol that has adverse effects on ghosts..... hello#(xl brings it home wanting to try alcohol again for nice reasons for the first time!)#(he doesn't know that it's a fancy ritual wine! what does he know!)#(they drink it together! WHOOPS! what could be happening? >D )#alright. doffs my clown hat. shutting up now. have this
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