#so even though you have broken my heart yet again i wanted to say...
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warmchrysanthemum · 6 hours ago
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So even though you have broken my heart yet again,
I wanted to say
in an other life,
I would have really liked
just doing lesbian gay sex with you.
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Maybe in another life, you won’t leave me to kill the person who killed your parent.
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kaliforniahigh · 3 days ago
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Oooh you got any Jolly Thots?
Oh, yeah. I got them!! If anyone wants to send in their Jolly thots, my ask is open!
Warning: this is very angsty and there is no happy ending :( Also smut (p in v). Jolly is kind of a jackass in this, sorry.
WC: 1.4k
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Jolly had you on your kness, back pressed against his chest as he pounded into you from behind. You could feel his breath on your neck, and the feeling of his hand pulling on your ponytail.
It was always like this. He'd call you, tell you he's feeling lonely and longing for you. You'd tell him to come over, only to have your heart broken over and over again.
When he had you like this, though, it was like the feeling of rejection didn't exist for a while.
"You love this, don't you? Me inside of you", he murmured in your ear, you only moaned in response. There was a time when you entertained his praises, but not anymore. Instead, you wished he'd just fuck and stay quiet.
He lets your hair go and you fall on your hands on the bed. His pace picks up and you can tell he's close by the way he's gripping your hips. He starts rubbing circles on your clit, and you're right there with him.
You hate the it feels so good, you hate the way he always seems to know what to do get make you fall apart for him. The way he hits all the right spots.
You wish he was as good with feelings as he is fucking you.
Seconds later, he's spilling inside the condom, with a grunt. And your shaking underneath him, knees giving out as lay sprawled on your bed.
You both take a few seconds to recover, and the part you dread the most is about to happen. Again.
You can hear him going into the bathroom, to discard the condom and wash his hands, you guess. You stay on the bed, now laying on your back and pulling the covers up to your chest.
There was also a time when you felt comfortable with him seeing you naked on the back after you finished. Now, you just felt kind of cheap. With how detached you've both become, the only thing missing was him slapping a couple of tens on your bedside table before leaving.
"Folio is having a party on Saturday. He says he wants to celebrate his new collaboration with TAMA", he tells you as he pulls his boxers on.
"Yeah, he told me", you responded with a detached tone to your voice. Watching him redress.
"You going?", he asked you.
"I'll see"
He only hummed in response. Grabbing his wallet and looking back at you.
"I'll see you on Saturday then. If you go", he opened the door of your bedroom.
"Yeah"
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On Saturday, you found yourself knocking on the door to the boys' house. You pondered a lot over the week if you even wanted to go. But decided that your little situationship with Jolly shouldn't drift you apart from your other friends.
Besides, you were determined to ignore him tonight.
You guessed he wasn't there yet when you arrived, because you surveyed the place, but didn't find him. Good, you hope he wouldn't come, you wished to yourself, but knew that wouldn't be true, because he wouldn't miss celebrating his friend.
You were actually enjoying yourself and talking to people around you. You had a drink in your hand, but wanted to stay mostly sober for the night. Before, there was no problem with you getting drunk and spending the night at Jolly's room. Now, it just felt like you were overstaying your welcome.
Maybe an hour after you arrived, you could see two people entering the living room, when you looked in their direction, it was as if the whole world stopped spinning and the room became completely still.
There he was, dressed in all black, with a beautiful girl hanging on his arm.
You obviously knew he was fucking around with other girls, but he never actually brought them over to their house. Also, the fact that a few days ago, he was in your bed, fucking you, and now he was here, with a new girl, made your stomach twist.
Before he had the chance to come any closer to where you were standing, you turned around and made your way upstairs to the bathroom.
You closed the door behind you as you tried to calm your heartbeat that was pounding in your chest. You desperatly tried to think of an excuse to leave this party right now. You shouldn't have come in the first place.
After a couple of minutes, you decided to leave and then shoot Folio a text apologizing. You already had the chance to congratulate him, so that wouldn't look too bad.
Slipping out from the bathroom, you made your way through the living room with your head down, not wanting anyone to see you. Opening the front door, your stepped into the slight breeze blowing outside.
Taking a deep breath, you started to walk down the street to where your car was parked.
"Y/N", you heard a familiar voice behind you, but you didn't turn around, you didn't acknowledge him.
"Hey, where are you going?", he tried again, picking up his pace this time and walking beside you.
"I'm going home", you said, voice flat and devoid of any emotion. You tried to keep yourself in check, because you were sure if you stayed here any longer, you'd start crying like an idiot.
"Why? The party has just started".
Could he really not understand why you were leaving? Was he this dense? Instead of feeling sad, you were now feeling angry at his obliviousness.
"Are you fucking serious? Are you actually this stupid or do you just like to pretend that you are, so you don't have to own up to your mistakes?", the anger in your voice and fire in your eyes made him take a step back.
"Are you talking about?", he was wary now, but his eyes told you he knew exactly what you were talking about.
"Do you actually consider me your friend or do you just keep me around because I'm an easy fuck?", you were becoming tired of him dodging your questions.
"You're not an easy fuck. Please don't say it like that", he tried to take a step closer to you, but you took a step back, and he stayed in his place.
"Oh no? But you text me everytime already knowing I'll tell you to come over. You take advantage of the fact that you know I'm emotionally attached to you", you crossed your arms over your chest to try and protect your heart that was already broken in a million pieces.
"It was never supposed to be like this", he told you, and you desperately wanted him to stop making excuses.
"But it is. Next thing I know, you're going to be paying me for my services from how much a cheap transaction this has become"
Jolly just stood there, his eyes were wide and you could tell they were a little glossy from the way the light from the streetlamp hit his face.
"I'm so fucking sorry, You gotta believe me when I say I never meant to make you feel this way", his voice trembled a bit towards the end of his sentence. You could see a little glimpse of the old Jolly you met years ago.
"I'm not sure I believe anything that comes out of your mouth anymore", you stood your ground this time.
"I'm so fucking sorry", he looked down as he apologized to you. He couldn't even do it looking at your fucking face.
"Me too", you said as you fished your car keys from your pocket. "I'm going to delete your number, and I never want to speak to you ever again", now it was time for your voice to tremble. You were not only endind whatever you two had, but you were ending a friendship of years that developed into something neither of you could control or deal with. "Tell the boys I'll stop coming around"
With this last sentence, you turned around and walked the rest of the way to your car, now letting the tears fall freely from your eyes.
You unlocked your car and gor in the driver's seat. You told youself you wound't look back, but you couldn't helo but take a peek on the rear view mirror.
You Jolly sitting on the curb, you could tell his shoulders were shaking, and that his hands were covering his face.
Too bad, he should've shown some emotion all those times you desperately needed him to. With a shaky, deep sigh, you turned on your car and drove away from the most important people in your life.
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otasnox · 10 months ago
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ごめんなさい... ごめんなさい... ごめんなさい... ごめんなさい... ごめんなさい... ごめんなさい... ごめんなさい... ごめんなさい... ごめんなさい... ごめんなさい... ごめんなさい... ごめんなさい... ごめんなさい
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vizthedatum · 2 years ago
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Another life?
You know that popular scene in EEAO that everyone screenshots - the one where Waymond says "So, Even Though You Have Broken My Heart Yet Again, I Wanted To Say, In Another Life, I Would Have Really Liked Just Doing Laundry And Taxes With You."
And that's just it, with just so many people in my life... sigh, another life, where maybe:
you regarded me as not just an option but a partner - a life partner to who you had obligations and commitment
you respected my peace, my autonomy, my love
you loved me
you took care of yourself
my needs were acknowledged and given validity in your eyes
you didn't break my boundaries over and over again
you didn't self-project on me
you respected my way of being and accepted me
you fucking listened to me and took me seriously
my feelings mattered and were acknowledged
we trusted each other
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ccsainzleclerc5516 · 5 months ago
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Love Me Again
Pairing: Lando Norris x reader
Warnings: smut
Exes to lovers - this was requested so I hope you like it!!
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To be completely honest, Lando doesn't even know what happened that night one year ago. He knows very well that he drank too much, got drunk like never before and that the next day he lost you.
You came to his apartment and found a hair band in the bathroom that wasn't yours. Lando knew whose hair tie it was, but he tried to hide it from you and convince you that it was yours. Of course with that, he only made things worse. The fact that he decided to lie about it hurt you even more.
You threatened to leave him immediately if he didn't tell you what happened the night before and who spent the night in his apartment. It didn't take long for Lando to break down and tearfully tell you that one of his girl friends spent the night at his place after going out. The morning after, he barely remembered anything, but he could have sworn that he hadn't even kissed her, let alone slept with her.
His only fault was that he brought her with him to the apartment and let her sleep there, but even that was more than enough for you to break your heart into a thousand pieces.
You knew which female friend it was. You never even liked her and even though Lando always told you that you had no reason to be jealous, it annoyed you that she was throwing herself at him every chance she got when the two of you were together.
She was too close to him for your liking and then when you heard that she was the one who slept over at his place that night when he was dead drunk, it was over for you.
Lando cried, despaired, begged you to forgive him for months, trying to convince you that for him there was only you, but you couldn't get over your pride and forgive him. In the end, you even believed him that maybe there really wasn't anything between the two of them, but the trust was broken between the two of you and it couldn't be fixed anymore.
Since you two were together for two and a half years before you broke up, you were very close to his family. They adored you and considered you a member of the family. They couldn't believe that you broke up, even they begged you to forgive him, but even though you decided not to, you still remained on good terms with them and continued to hang out from time to time.
And just like that you found yourself on a huge luxury yacht celebrating Mila's third (idk how old is she??) birthday together with Lando and his family. It was a three-day celebration in the small circle of family and for the sake of that you decided to remain calm and behave normally around Lando.
It wasn't easy for you to be so close to him yet so far away. It was even worse for him, but he enjoyed having you around. Of course he tried in every way to reach you, approach you, talk to you, he did everything just to get your attention. From time to time he would succeed, you would find it funny how he tried everything, so you would give in and engage into a conversation with him.
On the last night, everyone went to bed pretty early because they were exhausted from celebrating, swimming and sunbathing for the past three days, but you weren't so exhausted, so you decided to stay in the lounge area of ​​the yacht and be with yourself for a while. The sky was beautiful, full of shining stars and the feeling was so peaceful. You closed your eyes for a moment, but not for long because you were soon startled by none other than Lando's voice.
"You decided to sleep under the sky tonight?" He asked making himself comfortable on the sofa next to you.
"No, I was just enjoying looking at it."
"With your eyes closed?" He mocked.
"What else do you want other than to disturb my peace?" You roll your eyes sitting up from the lying position.
"I was very hot, so I couldn't sleep. Thought I'd come here to the pool to cool off" He says looking at the pool in front of you.
"It's like" You take a look at your phone to check the time. "Almost 1 a.m. and you're going to get in the pool now?"
"Yeah, wanna join me?" He smirks.
"No, thank you." You laugh rolling your eyes at him again.
He gets up from the sofa and begins to remove his shorts, leaving only his boxers on. You were a little embarrassed and you didn't expect him to start undressing in front of you, so you cleared your throat and looked away.
"C'mon, it's nothing you haven't seen before, y/n" He mocks seeing how flushed your cheeks got.
"I'm going to my room, you have fun" You say getting up and fixing your oversized t-shirt that served as your night gown.
"No, come on, stay, keep me company." He pleaded before stepping into the pool. "Please?"
It didn't take long for him to persuade you to stay, because you secretly wanted to, you just didn't want to admit it so you sat down on the edge of the pool dipping your feet into the water as you watched him slowly threw himself in. Diving under the water he swam closer to you.
"You enjoying yourself?" You ask paddling your feet.
"It would be even better if you jumped in with me" He says placing his hands on the edge on either side of you.
"Not a chance" You resist pushing him a little with your feet. He chuckles biting his lip and taking your foot in his hand pulling you to himself a little.
"Lando, don't you dare" You warn him when you feel yourself slide down a little.
"You're not wearing any shorts?" He asks tilting his head to the side to peek under your t-shirt. You gasp quickly closing your legs and pulling your shirt down.
"You're so inappropriate, get away from me" You push his chest with your feet pushing him away from yourself only for to swim back to you again.
"Did you have any fun these past three days?" He asked curiously.
"I did, I have always enjoyed spending time with your family. It was good to see everyone again."
"Even me?"
You stop and sigh softly at his question not wanting to look him in the eye. it still hurts, stings. You'd be lying if you said you weren't glad to see him. You still love him after all, but you're still not sure if you want to forgive him.
"I'd rather not answer that"
He can't hide the hurt look in his eyes after your statement, but he also doesn't want to push you away from him by bringing certain topics up again.
"Well, I'm sorry to tell you, but I had a talk with Mila today and she told me that I am all you talk about. She says it's getting too much even for her to listen to you" Lando being Lando, of course, turns everything into a joke just to lighten the mood. You can't help but burst out laughing at the nonsense that he was saying just to say something.
"There we go, that's the laugh I wanted to hear" You blush at his caring words hiding your face in your shoulder. He takes a risk and places his hands over your knees slowly pulling them apart to stand between them and you surprise both of you when you let him.
"Lando.." You sigh hesitantly when he slowly puts his hands on your waist and pulls you closer to him.
"Please, let me" Before you could even ask him let you what?, he pulled you down into the pool with him. You gasped and your skin crawled as the slightly cold water soaked your t-shirt making it clung to your body.
"Oh my God, oh my God!" You were breathing rapidly trying to grab the edge to get out, but Lando pulled you by your waist closer to his body.
"Hey, it's okay, it's okay"
"You're completely crazy" Your mouth complains, but your body responds differently to his touch especially when he moves one of his hands from your hip to your leg making them wrap around his torso.
"That's better" He says quietly glancing at your lips. You have to admit you feel a little uncomfortable, especially with his lips less than two centimeters away from yours. You haven't been this physically close to each other in over a year and you've almost forgotten what it feels like to feel his skin on yours. "It's just me" He whispers and it somehow calms you down when you remember that it's Lando, your Lando.
"Lando, you can't do this.." You say, but wrap your arms around his neck hiding your gaze in the crook of his neck. Your gesture encourages him so he hugs you tighter and gently kisses you on the cheek.
"Baby, I miss you so much" Your heart trembles at his choice of words. "I'm losing my mind without you" His voice breaks when you look at him and he moves your hair out of your face. Your fingers make gentle circular motions over the back of his head as you press your foreheads together.
"I swear only hope that one day you'll love me again keeps me sane" He continues.
"I've never even stopped" You quietly confess.
Even if he tried, he couldn't describe the feeling of hearing that from your mouth. He felt as if he had come alive again after such a long time.
He couldn't hold back anymore, everything in him was dying to feel you, to kiss you so he crashed his lips against yours and kissed you the way you kiss a person you love more than your life, but haven't been able to touch in more than a year.
You didn't even think about resisting anymore, you gave in and kissed him back with the same force. He walked with your legs still wrapped around him to the edge of the pool pressing against you with your back against it. His hands quickly slipped under your shirt exploring your body again after so long enjoying the sound of your moans.
"Please..please tell me that no one..has touched you..no one but me" His voice was quivering as he tried to get the question out to which he wasn't sure that he wanted to know the answer to.
Lando was your first. First in everything basically. And he was so proud of it. He loved your innocence and the fact that no one had ever made you feel the way he did. You were all his and that's why he had a particularly strong protective feeling towards you. And he probably would lose his mind if he heard that someone else had touched something that only belonged to him.
"No one but you" You panted making him go feral.
His hands went under your butt gripping it before his fingertips moved your panties aside. He grinded his crotch into yours nibbling at the skin of your neck.
"Lan.." You moaned wanting more, but hating to ask for it. Luckily he knows your body like the back of his hand and knows what you need very well so he slipped his middle finger inside of you. One was soon replaced by two making you throw your head back giving him full access to bite and suck on your neck.
"Fuck.." He hissed as the aching feeling in his cock kicked in desperately needing to be touched. "Baby, I need to feel you or else I'm going to explode" He grunts.
"Let's get out of the pool, yeah? We can't fuck in here"
He lifted you up from the water sitting you onto the edge before getting out of the pool himself. You took off your wet shirt leaving yourself only in soaked panties and a bra. He looked you in from head to toe before pulling you to him and laying you down on the sofa hovering over you.
As he pulled his boxers down and his cock sprung off you looked down at him with a slight concern in your gaze and he noticed it.
"What, baby? Is everything okay?" He asked leaning down to kiss you caressing your cheek.
"Yeah, it's just..it's been a while.." His gaze softened and he smiled pressing a kiss to your forehead to calm you down.
"We'll take it slow, okay?" He assured you. He pulled down your bra taking your tits out and attaching his lips around your nipples and with every passing second of him doing so you were getting wetter and wetter. He then took his cock in his hand rubbing his tip over your pussy up and down a few times hissing at the sensation.
He stopped at the center and felt you getting nervous as your breathing quickened. "It's alright, baby, I know you want this, I can feel how wet you are. I'll go slow, I promise."
He slowly pushed the tip in planting kisses along your jawline to distract you from the pain. He pushed a little further and you squeezed your eyes whimpering and holding your hands against his chest.
"It hurts Lan, it's too big.." You cried out trying to close your legs so he put his hand on your cheek gently caressing it. It took everything in him not to cum right away at you complimenting his length.
"Shh, I know, baby, but you have to let me in okay? We'll make it fit, yeah? Like we always used to" He cooed you pushing your legs further apart. "Just a little bit more and it's fully in. You can take it, love, I know you can."
Little by little and he pushed all of himself in staying still until you felt comfortable enough for him to move. "That's it, just like that, baby, always such a good girl for me" He was so impatient to fuck you, to cum all over or inside you it didn't matter to him, but he decided to take his time with you because he wanted you to feel good above everything else.
Once the pain was replaced by the feeling of pleasure, he started thrusting in deep and fast stretching you out in the way only he knew how. When you felt confident enough you wrapped your legs around his torso to push him even deeper.
"Does it feel good?" He asked and you nodded. "This reminds me so much of that time I fucked you on the couch in my parent's house."
"Ohh, Lando” You moaned.
"Where anybody could've walked in on us and see me pounding you from behind. Fuck, you have no idea how much this turns me on.." He groaned.
"I missed all of you, missed fucking you, feeling you squeeze my cock, playing with your pussy, oh" His words were coming out as broken sobs struggling to last as long as possible. "I feel you clenching are you almost there, love?"
"So close"
"Yeah? You're drenching my cock baby. You're so tight, fuck, I'm gonna cum in seconds."
"Ohh..yes yes, ahh"
"Oh shit baby.." Once he saw you slide you hand down to your clit and start playing with it, he lost it. His body shuddered, his cock twitched inside you and he came undone. He kept moving slowly until both of you rode out your orgasms.
When both of you came to your senses he started hugging you and kissing you as if you were going to run away every second. You leaned your head to the side and watched him smiling.
"So..does this mean you're mine again?" He asks tracing his fingertips over your collarbones.
"It does not, but" You emphasize. "If you try a bit harder maybe you can change my mind"
"Understood. Let's get you cleaned up for round two then"
"Lando, that's not what I meant…”
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halsteadlover · 23 days ago
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𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐓𝐨 𝐌𝐞
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*Pics not mine credits to the owner*
• Pairing: Lando Norris x Female!Reader.
• Requested: no.
• Summary: Lando and his obsession with TikTok trends almost got him in trouble.
• Warnings: none, just few curse words I think lol.
• Word count: 776.
• A/N: I know, I know I’m just posting fics based on trends but this is the last one I promise 😭
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“Got it babe? On the count of three make an ugly face.” Lando stated after setting up his phone and press record. He was standing behind you, his girlfriend, his hands resting on your shoulders as you sat while putting on your makeup.
You looked at him skeptically through the phone’s camera, with a confused look on your face. He was trying to hold back his laughter, already imagining your reaction.
“Why?”
“It’s just a game,” he replied, leaving a kiss above your hair. “Okay on my three. One, two… Baby! I said on my three!”
You frowned, continuing to look at your boyfriend through the phone and he suppressed another laugh, knowing by your face you were already getting upset even though you hadn’t said a word about it yet.
“Babe come on you can do it. Again. One… Oh c’mon why do you keep doing it before my three?!” he exclaimed and you didn’t answer again but he immediately noticed how your expression shifted from confusion to sadness, your lips slightly curved downwards.
“What?” you sadly whispered as you turned your head towards him. “What do you mean? Am I ugly?”
Lando felt his heart break at the sight of your tear-filled eyes as you looked at him with that broken expression, almost making him kneel on the floor. “Oh no, no, no, no, my love, oh my god,” he babbled, immediately hugging you from behind and leaving numerous kisses at the top of your head.
He pulled away after a while and turned the chair so that you were face to face with him. He knelt down and cupped your face with his hands as his thumbs caressed your cheeks. “I’m so sorry baby, please forgive me. I just wanted to make a stupid trend, please don’t cry. You’re not ugly, you’re the most beautiful woman I have ever laid my eyes on, you’re beautiful beyond belief please… I’m so sorry.”
He kissed your forehead, then your cheeks, your lips. “Please forgive me, oh baby I love you so much. I hate seeing you like this, I hate doing this to you. I swear to god I will never follow any stupid trends again… Fucking TikTok.”
“Can you cook my favorite dish tonight please?” you asked in a low voice.
“Of course baby, yes, whatever you want, I would buy you the moon if it made you happy. Please don’t cry, I’m so sorry.”
A bright smile appeared on your lips and you kissed him. “Thank you darling, I love you so much too.”
Lando let out a sigh relieved, even though you were just making fun of him. “You little… I thought I made you cry. Don’t ever do this to me again please, I though I was having a heart attack.”
You giggled and threw your arms around his neck, holding him tightly as he hugged you back, wrapping his arms around your waist and burying his nose in your hair. “I’m sorry love, but you deserved it.”
He kissed your neck. “Yeah I do… God I’m never watching TikTok again in my life.”
You laughed and he pulled away from you, cupping your face with his hands again. “You sure you’re okay? You know it was just for a video right? You’re… To say you’re breathtakingly beautiful is an understatement and I’m not even kidding. There’s no word I could use that would even begin to describe how gorgeous I think you are. You’re so fucking perfect baby and I don’t want you to doubt that for even a second.”
“Hey, hey it’s okay love,” you stroked his hair, brushing it off his forehead and smiling gently. “I was just messing with you, I know it’s just a trend since I’ve seen it a million times. I’m on social media too you know.”
He nodded. “Yeah I know, I know, I just didn’t consider the fact I could hurt your feelings and seeing you with that sad expression broke my heart, even if it was just a joke, I want to make sure you know I’m totally crazy about you and you’re perfect, okay?”
You laughed again and nodded before kissing him. “I’m really okay, I promise baby.”
“Seriously, I worship the ground you walk on, I would lick any surface you sit on, that’s how desperate I’m for you.”
“Ew Lando! You’re disgusting!” You exclaimed, loudly chuckling and playfully shoving him away, making him burst out laughing.
“Okay you’re laughing so I guess it’s really fine, but don’t think I’m joking baby,” he retorted as he stood up and stopped the recording and you fake gagged. “But what do you think about the dinner I promised you now?”
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fev3rish · 5 months ago
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ALWAYS. kenji sato x reader
he’ll always come back to you.
cw. kenji makes a suggestive joke because lets be real he’s a loser, talk of bruises, patching up wounds, kenji loves you, not proofreaded and shorter than usual, excessive use of the word “sweetheart”
notes. this was not the hurt/comfort i promised… rather, it’s more fluffy than hurtful? nevertheless it’s here, and i hope you enjoy!
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every tear you shed is a burning cigarette stubbing itself on kenji’s skin; it ached more than the ice you were applying on his skin. for once, kenji was silent. he watched quietly as you patched him up, yet again, after one of his many nights as ultraman. this particular fight messed him up bad, and with all the bruises that littered his body, he knew he would be m.i.a for a while. you knew, too, if the tears running down your cheeks couldn’t attest to that enough. kenji didn’t know what to do, didn’t know how to react—before you, he had no one to cry over him when he got hurt. it was foreign. he would’ve loved the attention, but he made you cry. kenji couldn’t stomach it.
“baby—”
“no, don’t, don’t speak.” you sniffled, worried that he’d hurt himself even more. his cheek was already swollen enough. you saw how hard he was hit, and it scared you a little too much this time. this fight pushed you to the edge, and it was evident. you couldn’t resist the sob that tore its way out of your throat as kenji’s eyes only softened even more at your sorry state. you were so worried. you called mina over this time, asking the assistant to get you more ice. “mina says this was your roughest fight in a while.” you say, broken. kenji tries to laugh it off, tries to put a smile on your face, “well, i came home to you, didn’t i?”
—he ends up making your frown deeper. your lips quiver, tears still running down your cheeks as you reply, “but what if you didn’t?”
it’s bothered you; what would happen if he didn’t come home? if you saw him fall on live television? if he left his side of the bed cold?
what would happen in a world without your kenji?
his face hardened, tone firm as he called you “sweetheart.”
you bursted into tears, big fat waterfalls falling down your cheeks—and you thought you were done crying—you’re not. sweetheart, he called you, you were his sweetheart. he only called you that when he wanted to make a point, wanted to get something in your head. “sweetheart.” kenji repeated, moving his already sore arm to try and caress your cheek. you decline, you don’t want him to be in pain, but he persists. he hisses, but he feels your skin on his palm and that’s enough to quell the pain. “sweetheart…” you hear kenji’s voice break, and you hiccup, placing your own hand above his own. “i’m here. i’m here right now.” his voice does not break, nor does he.
you place your free hand over his cheek, and he takes it into his other hand and places it on his chest—where his heart is. “and i’m living. i’m breathing; my heart’s beating, baby,” ironically, even though he’s had more ice on his body than normal, he feels warm. you can’t help yourself, you lean in, and you hear his heart beat. it’s beating, he’s alive, he’s alive, your kenji’s alive,
that’s all that matters.
“you know i’ll always, always, come home to you.” he kisses the top of your head, and you pull away and give him a flick inbetween his eyes. he jolts in surprise. “that’s for scaring me to death!” you yell, he shrinks—he always did look like a beaten up puppy whenever you had to scold him. you flick the same spot again, “that’s for getting yourself hurt too much!” then again. “that’s for having no sense of self preservation! we haven’t even brushed up on your other issues!”
“okay, first, ow—“ he rubs his forehead, trying to ease the pain. “second, how do you know i have other issues?” he asked, pointedly, and you deadpan. “are you serious? look at you.”
“okay, third, ow?” he raises his hands in surrender, but then he flinches because he may have raised his left arm a little too fast and now it aches. you spring to action, immediately settljng both hands down. you press an ice pack to his shoulders once more as you fawn over him, and kenji has whiplash from how fast you switch up. “i’m gonna be fine—“ the look you give him has him shutting up immediately. “you’re gonna be fine, but you’re definitely not now. infact, you look like you’re not even gonna last another round with—“
“oh, you know i always last another round with you.”
“oh my god, please shut the fuck up—“
kenji’s eyes crinkle, sparkling as they take in your face. you look so done with him all the time, but kenji knows that you’re never going to be done with him. he watches as your eyebrows furrow in frustration and you sport that cute little pout of yours, and he has to admit; he loves being doted on. he’s not used to you, but he’s not used to you which makes it all the more exciting. you’re full of surprises, and he can’t wait for each one. the side of his mouth quirks up when you look at him again, trying not to laugh because he knows that you know that his joke was really fucking clever.
you’re so adorable, and kenji can’t resist you at all. he knows you can’t either.
when your lips find eachother, they fit together like puzzle pieces.
he whispers against your lips, tired eyes, once again, a bit too tempting for your liking—“sorry for making you cry, sweetheart.” you wave it off, at first, but kenji doesn’t even let you. “no, no, i’m sorry. can’t handle seeing you cry, not at all. especially if i’m the cause; so sorry, baby. i’ll be more careful next time.” he reassured, and you pressed your foreheads together, humming. “i mean it. i’ll always come back to you, ‘kay?”
“always?” you repeat.
kenji looks at you through hooded eyes, and you grin lazily—you want to speak, but he kisses you before you can. you wish you were surprised; you’re used to him using his lips to shut you up, because you always go silent. he tilts his head, pretending to mull over it for a bit, and a stern look from you has the wheels in his head suddenly turning. he looks at you again, taking the back of your wrist and pressing his lips on it, a silent promise; an oath.
“always, sweetheart. i’ll always come home to you.”
if kenji from a couple years ago saw this happening in real time, he’d scoff and say that wasn’t him. but it is him, and it is the him only you have.
the one that will always come back.
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butterymangowrites · 6 months ago
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permanent fix
soulmate au + a/b/o
paring: alpha atsumu x fem beta reader
warnings: bullying, dub-con, atsumu is not nice, smut, slight breeding kink, biting, blood, choking, mirror sex, possessiveness, jealousy, alpha rut, atsumu talks shit, dramatic atsumu
word count: 2.2k
english is not my first language. please excuse any mistakes
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Born as a beta, you never thought fate would toy with you by giving an alpha as your soulmate. Especially not one like Miya Atsumu, the one whom you went to school through college with and still having to see his face ever so frequently as if he had sworn to never let you live in peace. 
For someone who made faces when seeing the lunchboxes your mom packed for you and proclaimed a beta was weak when you first presented at fifteen, Miya Atsumu couldn’t seem to detach himself from you. 
So when you had a crush on one of your colleagues at twenty five, having his nose in your business as usual, Atsumu knew instantly. 
“Another beta.” Lying comfortably on your couch, Atsumu scoffed. “Predictable.” 
“Didn’t ask for your opinions.” 
“I’m giving it anyway,” he said in a singsong voice, but his face was without mirth. “You can fuck whoever you want, but I’m getting my fix. That’s non-negotiable.”
Oh, yeah. His fix. 
He patted his lap. “Come here.”
Then it all began again. Him cradling you in his lap, hands going all over, lips spilling hateful words. 
‘Weak fucking beta.’ He would say. ‘Even Osamu got an omega soulmate. Makes me jealous as fuck.’ 
But then he would kiss you like the world might end tomorrow, doing everything opposite of what he said. This time was no different. His hot tongue was everywhere he could reach, acquainted itself with yours before leaving a wet trail down your neck. 
You protested when he nipped a little too hard, scared he might leave marks. He did that once. The deep purple hickey you saw in the mirror after he left your apartment scared the shit out of you. A little more force and teeth could have broken the skin, and that thought caused chills to run all over your body. You didn’t want to bear his marks. 
Yet, Atsumu didn’t care. He never did. His hands were now on your buttocks, squeezing hard through your thin pajama bottoms. He moved you to one of his thighs for better concentration. The hands on your butt now rolled your hips back and forth, to the point your moan finally slipped out of your tightly zipped lips and you forgot about the harsh nibbling on your neck.
“Go whore yourself out,” Atsumu whispered. “Like I fucking care.”
Same here, asshole.
You thought, didn’t say out loud. 
Touching each other lifted the heavy weight in the heart caused by the act of not accepting the soulmate bond. Nothing more, nothing less. If not for this calling of intimacy both of you obliged to feel, he wouldn’t be here. You knew that. He said it way too many times. 
Still, your cheeks were licked, your lips were tasted, neck wet with saliva. You felt like a prey about to be eaten every time he was close. Yes, he may not care. But he sure was possessive enough of things that were given to him. 
Whenever you tried to wiggle out of his firm grasp, he tightened his fist. This time was the hardest you ever felt. 
In more than twenty years of knowing each other, never once did Atsumu come to you when he had gone into rut. So when he called you two in the morning one week after his last fix, ordered you to pack a bag and tell your boss you would be on leave for a week, you were baffled. It was never more than kisses and touches with him. Your clothes were always intact and on. The idea of that being changed had you flat out saying no. 
That didn’t stop Atsumu from coming to get you one hour later though. When he saw that you did nothing to get ready, his jaw was clenched. A split second later, he packed your bag himself, shoving clothes and toiletries in without any care. You were still in pajamas when the passenger door was slammed closed and he hit the gas. 
There were reasons why betas are not for alphas. Physically, they were incompatible. Betas weren’t designed for alpha’s stamina, not to mention one in rut. At one point, you did not care to count anymore how many times you had blacked out. Fading in and out really fucked with your memory. All you remembered was the non-stop pounding, Atsumu’s breath against your face, and his uncharacteristic cooing, praising you as his good girl. 
“Knew you were built for me.” The blond menace pulled on both of your wrists, never stopped his thrusting. “Let me knot you again, okay?” When you shook your head, face wet with tears, Atsumu shushed you softly. “Shhhhh. You can do it, I know you can.”
And you could. But it was not without pain. 
“Shouldn’t have waited this long,” Atsumu said close to your lips. “You almost got away.” 
He talked too much. But it would have been a big fat lie to deny that his words didn’t turn you on. That his vile confession didn’t affect you.
“Bold of you to even think I would let someone else touch you.” He sounded out of breath, closing to his end. “All the effort goes to waste. No no no no.” 
You felt it coming, just seconds before. Then your whole body was taken by the waves of thrills and your whole vision turned white. Atsumu was not your first, but as if he was the harbinger of agony, it hurt when he first penetrated, hurt when he knotted. And when you felt a sharp sting at your sensitive neck, you knew he defied the rule of nature once again by marking you. 
Fruitless. That was what it would be. Betas were not made for alphas. Mating bites did not forge any bond with the wrong person and would fade over time. But Atsumu had always been stubborn. One bite turned into two, three, then countless. All you felt was pain and the wetness of blood before darkness took your consciousness like the many rounds before. 
The mating bites faded within two weeks, all except the first mark, proving to you that even biology could not win over destiny. Same went with all other beta-alpha soulmate couples out there after you had done some research. They were rare, but they were there. You shouldn’t have let Atsumu bite you. Should have known better that things could get weird when it came to soulmates. Now, he wouldn’t get off your ass, had the audacity to move his things to your apartment and yours to his, calling you his girlfriend in front of everyone and expecting to see you at his games. 
You didn’t even like volleyball to begin with. And as you watched his magnificent tosses to any players he deemed to have high chances to score, you thought of a way to get out of his clutch. 
He needed an omega, the correct designation he always longed for. Because even with all the protective caresses and the promise to never let you go, Atsumu was still mean. Like going back to the ninth grade when you put makeup on for the first time and he gave you the nastiest comment that made you go wash everything off in the school toilet, his words still stung badly when he chose to weaponize them. 
‘Samu’s mate smells like she needs to be bred.’ He said that nonchalantly one day at Onigiri Miya, sitting side by side with you at the counter where his twin and his mate helped each other with cooking and serving the hungry athletes who were there to celebrate the day’s victory ‘Don’t know how he stands that. So sweet’ 
Hearing that made your conversation with Hinata pause. His steely gaze was the first thing you saw when turning to face ‘your boyfriend’. 
It didn’t end there. For days Atsumu was in a devilish mood, his jabs that you knew most of them were meant to just rile you up for fun had become a real emotional harm. He still fucked you, make no mistake about that. And it was as devilish as his temper. 
‘Too hard, Miya. Too hard.’ You still wouldn’t call him by his first name. 
Veiny hands wrapped snugly around your neck, Atsumu only went faster after hearing that. The bathroom mirror was foggy with hot steam from the shower, but you could see enough. One of your legs was perched on the counter, allowing the view of his cock pistoning in and out of you, your breasts bouncing fast. 
‘Would have been pregnant already if you were an omega.’ The sentence came out coated with his accent, thicker than normal, like he didn’t have full control of how he spoke. ‘But that’s alright. I can take my time with you. We’ll get there,’ he purred. ‘Still, what a shame, huh?’ 
Shame his ass for saying that and not letting you leave. ‘Go fuck an omega then.’
He smirked. Pissed you off. ‘Nah.’ 
As his toss to Sakusa scored a winning point, the loud cheer brought you back to the present. You saw Atsumu eyes staring up at you from the court below and knew what you had to do. 
Getting an omega who wanted to spend a heat with Miya Atsumu was easy enough. Sending her up to your apartment where he was already there waiting for you was as simple. You drove away then, not far, stopping at your favorite 24-hour cafe because you needed somewhere to sit and waited for the first feedback from the omega girl. Half an hour later, you got a call. 
The screen showed the female omega’s name. You picked up and said hello, expecting to hear that everything went well and that you could go find somewhere else to sleep for the next five nights.
But you only heard cries. Not of pleasure, just a full-blown crying with hiccups. 
“Hey, are you okay?” you asked, frowning. “Talk to me. What happened?” 
“He—he screamed—at me,” she spluttered, almost incoherently, “and only asked where you were.” 
You cursed quietly, finally able to stop stirring the poor coffee you ordered without any interest in taking a sip. “Where is he now?” 
“I don’t know,” she cried. “He left—after the screaming.” Her voice wavered all the more when she kept on trying to speak. “You had to see him. He looked murderous. There was not even a hello. He straight up shouted at me, accusing me of breaking in. When I tried to explain—mentioned you, his face was all red.” A hiccup interrupted the long babbling. “He said he was married to you and showed me the ring.”
You were not sure what crack Atsumu was on, but there was definitely no ring or marriage. 
The call was still on when you heard the cafe’s door pushed open. And it was as if you saw the devil with your own naked eyes.
Atsumu walked in. 
His strides declared no peace or mercy when he saw you, ignoring the greetings from the two night shift baristas. 
Not wanting to cause a scene, you stood up, didn’t say anything when he put his hand on your shoulder and led the way out. 
The drive was silent. Your car was left at the parking lot near the cafe, you would have to come and get it as soon as you could before the parking fee turned as murderous as him. When asked where he was going, he answered solemnly, “My place. Yours stinks.” 
You just knew it was going to be a long night. 
Atsumu was the one who got the car out for you the next morning since he was the one who could still walk without wobbling. The sheets you slept on were rumpled. They reeked of cum. 
You reeked of cum. 
‘You think you’re so funny?’ he asked, knowing you couldn’t answer with his cock occupying your mouth but did it nonetheless ‘You wanted me to fuck her? What was going on in that pretty little head?’ 
He pulled you by the nape of your neck before pushing your head down, forcing your throat to take more of him till you felt the urge to gag. 
‘I thought we had an understanding, baby,’ he said, finally relenting his grip on your head. ‘No whoring yourself out.’ Then he stressed, ‘And no whoring me out. I’m yours.’
‘Do you understand?’ 
You only nodded.
‘Words.’ 
‘Yes, Miya.’ 
‘Atsumu,’ he said, looking like he wanted to throw up. ‘You’re not fucking my brother. Don’t make me imagine that. Call me Atsumu.’
‘Yes, Tsumu.’ 
Looked like you delivered. Atsumu grinned from ear to ear. ‘Good girl. My best girl.’ 
That was last night. 
A warm kiss to the cheek woke you again, must have dozed off after Atsumu left, but those scenes were not a dream. You heard him whisper, 
“I got your car. Parked it at your place.”
He looked like he got a ten-hour sleep while you could not move a limb without feeling sore. Not fair. And the way he looked so good in sheep’s clothing, his wolf’s skin all hidden. Not fair at all.
“Shower.” Your voice was hoarse, but you got the message through. That was good enough. 
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tenthrees · 1 year ago
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"So, even though you have broken my heart yet again, I wanted to say In another life, I would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you." Everything Everywhere All At Once 2022 / Good Omens 2023
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lovebugism · 1 year ago
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eddie x shy!reader , she asks him on a date by giving him tickets to a concert and he thinks its a joke til she walks away feeling rejected & he realizes she’s like dead serious & goes up to her
thanks for your request! i sorta broke my own heart with this one — the one where eddie rejects you and immediately regrets it (shy!reader, hurt/comfort, 2.6k)
bug's summer fic fest ♡
Robin tells you that he’s nice. She says he won’t turn you down because he loves Mötley Crüe too much and he’s called you pretty too many times. Robin Buckley is many things — a dork, a polyglot, and your best friend, to name a few — but she’s never been a liar.
She wouldn’t lead you to the slaughter that way. She wouldn’t just let you get your heart broken. More than anything, though, she knows Eddie far better than you do — partly because she’s actually able to talk to him.
So despite your lingering worry, you swallow her words like a shot of vodka and maneuver helplessly through the bustling crowd of the Hawkins High lunchroom.
Eddie Munson sits alone at the Hellfire Club table — the smallest one in the very back corner by the large square window. 
Instead of eating a real meal (even though the hamburgers might be horse meat instead of cow), the boy eats crumbled-up pretzels from a worn ziplock bag. He pinches them into his mouth blindly because his chocolate syrup gaze is trained on the well-loved book folded in his left hand. 
J.R.R Tolkien’s, The Hobbit.
It makes you smile softly to yourself. You hope one day you’ll have the courage to tell him you’ve read that book so many times you could recite it in your sleep. You hope that day comes soon.
“Eddie?” you call softly to him when you reach his table. Your sweaty fingers fidget with the concert tickets you clutch between them.
He just thinks he hears his name at first. It’s barely audible over the sounds of muddled chatter in the cafeteria. He glances up from his book, not expecting anyone to be there, and gaping when he finds you standing in front of him. 
His cinnamon eyes go wide. The boy blinks owlishly at you once, then flits his eyes behind you like he’s expecting to see someone there. When he doesn’t, he blinks at you again. 
“Hi…” you waver with a trembling smile.
Eddie grins back, still obviously confused. “…Hi?”
“I, uh… I don’t know if you heard, but— well, obviously you heard, that’s… that’s stupid,” you laugh at yourself, shaking your head with your eyes squeezed shut. You’re already stumbling all over yourself, and you haven’t even managed a full sentence yet.
“Mötley Crüe is coming to Indianapolis in a few days, and a friend of mine was selling tickets, so I bought them. For us. Potentially. You know, if you wanted to… to go… With me.”
Your offer lingers and hangs in the air between the two of you.
A smile quirks at the right side of Eddie’s pink mouth. It isn’t a kind one, though. It looks more cynical than anything else.
His head juts back. He’s almost peering at you from the corner of his eye as though you were some suspicious thing he needed to analyze. A laugh sputters from his lips. “Did Buckley put you up to this? Is that what this is?”
Your faltering smile fades entirely. Your features crumble in disappointment.
This worse he could say is no, Robin had told you. 
You hadn’t prepared yourself for this.
“…What?” you wonder, voice fragile like a wilting flower petal.
Eddie chuckles to himself. He sets the book down to give you his full attention, though you’re not sure you want it anymore. “You know, I knew she was upset about me trying to set her up with Vickie and all, but this is a… whole new low.”
“Vickie…?” you murmur through a tightening throat, brows pinched in confusion. “I don’t understand—”
“Look, sweetheart… Tell Robin that this was a real funny joke, but I’m not interested, alright?”
Your chest aches with an empty feeling. You think your heart might be breaking. “J—Joke?”
“—Actually, tell her that this was very not metal of her, and that I will get my vengeance,” Eddie says with a sardonic laugh deeply rooted in his chest. His smile looks almost like he pities you as he shakes his head, eyes twinkling with pessimism. “I’m sorry she sent you to do her dirty work, but… You should probably go now. This is, you know, the Hellfire Club table and everything, so…”
You swallow thickly, then nod.
Eddie doesn’t want you here. Eddie doesn’t want you at all.
“I’m— I’m sorry if I…” The words get caught in your throat. You clear it and blink back burning tears. “I was just… I thought that maybe—”
“Eddie!” a boyish voice calls from across the cafeteria, only halfway drowned out through all the noise. A group of guys in Hellfire shirts walk towards the table.
You take that as your cue to leave. You don’t want to burst into tears in front of your crush and all of his friends.
“I’m sorry,” is all you manage to choke out before turning on your heel and walking away.
He’d been smiling up until that point — like it was all a big joke to him — because it was. 
The girl he’s been fawning over since junior year comes out of nowhere with tickets to see one of his favorite bands? That was the kind of shit he dreamt about — the kind of plan only someone as vicious as Robin Buckley could concoct to hurt his feelings. And after spending so many years being the brunt of bullies, Eddie was tired of being embarrassed.
And at first, he thought you were just a really good actor. You did look almost genuinely confused when he’d snuffed out the plan so quickly. But those wide, glassy eyes you looked at him with — he doesn’t know if a person can fake that sort of heartbreak. That looked real.
Eddie had been close to commending himself for not letting Robin win. He thought he was a genius for not allowing Buckley to use you against him. Now he knows he’s the same dumbass he's always been.
“Hey, man…” Gareth wavers as he sits at his designated seat adjacent to Eddie’s. The boy’s forlorn and faraway gaze doesn’t go unnoticed by the rest of the club. They all share looks of confusion, but the sandy-haired boy is the only one brave enough to speak up. “You okay?”
Eddie keeps his gaze trained on your figure as you maneuver through the crowd. Robin looks happy for you when you reach her, but the puppy-like excitement washes away when she notices how sad you are. 
He feels like someone’s shoved a knife between his ribcage. He wonders if this is what a broken heart feels like.
“I think I screwed up,” he answers, laughing cynically at himself. “Like, big time.”
“Well, it wouldn’t be the first time, right?” Dustin jokes before popping a fry into his mouth. He laughs, but no one else joins him. “…Right?”
Eddie glares at the boy.
He cowers. “…Kidding. I was kidding.”
—————
He stews over it all day — your offer and what he said to you and how sad you looked after he said it. 
He pictures your pinched brows and big, glassy eyes and his chest starts to burn a little. Everyone always thought he was some raging asshole just because he had crazy hair and a crazier taste in music. Now he feels like they were sort of right about him. 
Whatever chance he had with you has surely turned to dust by now. It wouldn’t surprise him after he shrugged you off like he did. But after waging a nearly four-hour war in his mind between lunch and dismissal, he knows he has to make sure. 
He has to know if he’s ruined things entirely or if there’s a glimmer of hope he can hang onto.
He comes to you at the end of the day, dripping in metaphorical blood from the mental carnage he’d endured. He stood across the hall from you for five whole minutes as he tried to come up with something to say. He walks to your locker empty-handed and just blurts, “I thought you were joking,” like a total idiot.
Through the muddled conversation in the bustling hallway, you hadn’t heard him coming. You didn’t know he was there at all until he was right next to you. Seeing someone so suddenly close to you makes you flinch — hard.
And it’s not totally Eddie’s fault. You’re jumpy and too easily frightened at times, but he can’t help but feel like he’s messing things up more than he already has.
“Oh…” you deflate with a sigh, eyes still wide and swimming with something he can’t quite place. You look like you’re almost relieved to see him. Almost. 
“Sorry— shit, sorry. I didn’t mean to…” The boy stumbles over his words, then trails off when they don’t come out the way he wants. He shakes his head and finds it in himself to smile. It’s bitter, though, filled with self-abhorrence. “I wasn’t trying to scare you.”
With one hand still clutching the door of your locker, and the other gripping a stack of textbooks, you peer at him through your lashes. “I know. It’s okay. I just— I wasn’t expecting it…”
He grimaces. “Sorry…”
“’S okay,” you repeat.
“I, um, I only came in so hot ‘cause I wanted to apologize— you know, for earlier. In the lunch room,” he stammers and puts his fidgeting hands in the pockets of his leather jacket. He tries to laugh, but it comes out more as an insincere puff of air. “Honestly, I thought you were joking.”
Your brows pinch. “Joking? Why would I—”
“I sorta locked Robin and Vickie in the old chemistry room in the east wing a few days ago,” he confesses, bouncing his shoulders. “Just because I know they both like each other and everything, and I thought maybe they’d finally admit it if they were alone together.”
“Okay…?” 
“Well, they didn’t. And Robin was pissed. So I thought she was using you to get back at me.”
“Using me?” you echo.
“Yeah. ‘Cause I’ve kinda been into you since junior year and everything,” he admits with a nonchalant shrug. The corner of his rosy mouth quirks into a half-smile. “It’s, like, the one card Robin could use against me that would actually hurt, you know? If she did try to get me back.”
Your heart swells so much it hurts, almost — the same kind of hurt you'd felt in the lunch room earlier. It feels fiery, like someone’s taken a match to your ribcage and lit your heart aglow. But it’s different now. This is a good hurt, a happy hurt.
“Really?” you squint at him, your voice high and light. Your lips twitch like you want to smile, but you don’t let yourself — lest this all turns out to be some kind of elaborate dream. Or a joke.
“Since we had Mr. Kaminsky’s together, yeah,” Eddie affirms with a slow, confident nod. His chocolate eyes flit up to the water-stained ceiling. “Let’s see… We were learning about reproduction, and Tommy Hagan made some stupid joke about using you as a real-life model instead of the pictures in the textbook—”
“I remember,” you nod, trying not to shudder at the memory that still haunts you. 
“And I told him that he was making it real obvious that he’s never seen an actual vagina before and that the one in the textbook looked a lot like his mom’s,” the boy recalls with a soft laugh. “And you looked over at me, and you smiled, and I… have been a goner ever since.”
He looks down at you again, all sheepish like he isn’t gluing your broken heart back together again. His chocolate eyes twinkle in a way you’ve never seen before. They sparkle in their softness. You have to look away before it turns you into a puddle at his feet. 
You smile widely into your locker, pursing it off to the side in attempts to conceal its brightness. 
“No one’s ever stuck up for me like that before,” you confess quietly after a few moments, peeking at him from the corner of your eye. “I’m pretty sure I gushed to Robin about it for days.”
“Yeah?” Eddie hums. He can feel his hopes getting too high.
“Yeah. I told her all about the pretty boy in the back of the room that finally got Tommy H. to leave me alone.”
“Oh… You think he’s pretty, huh?” the boy teases despite his pink cheeks.
You nod — made much braver by his previous admission — though you still have a little trouble looking him in the eye. You drag a notebook from your locker as you tell him, “I think he’s very pretty.”
“Well, I have it on good authority that the boy you think is pretty is super sorry for being such an asshole to you earlier,” Eddie murmurs, his nose scrunched and head tilted. “And that he’d really love to go to that concert with you— if you haven’t found some other schmuck to go with you, that is.”
Your eyes light up like a Christmas tree as you beam at him. No one’s ever looked at him that way before now.
“I’d like that,” you nod, then shrug. “I don’t think I’d wanna go with anyone else, anyway…”
“So, it’s a date?” Eddie asks, just to make sure. His raised brows disappear behind his fluffy bangs. His chin tilts to his chest as he smiles hopefully down at you.
You nod, and repeat it more softly than the loudmouth boy. “It’s a date.”
Eddie can feel himself grinning like an idiot. His cheeks ache with how wide he’s beaming at you, but he's too lovesick to stop. Like squinting into the sun, smiling every time he looks at you is muscle memory by now. 
And what did a freak like him ever do to deserve a date with the freakin’ sun?
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with-my-calamitous-love · 29 days ago
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YOUR HEART WAS GLASS, I DROPPED IT ❆
katsuki bakugou x reader
on a cold winter night, you open the door for your warm, ex boyfriend katsuki.
part 2/2. i’m sorry tumblrs not letting me link anything atm :(
inspired by champagne problems
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katsuki booked his flight home at night for a reason.
it was dark, meaning no one really would be out. he wanted to be alone and sit there in his hurt. he wasn’t sure what he hated more- the bustling crowds or silent sleepers. both of them had a clear absence of you.
the winter chill seeps into his bones as he waits outside your door. after the phone hangs up, we anxiously wonders if you’ll even answer it. its -26°, and he can only imagine your bundled up in there. its the place he left you standing before hoping on a plane and abandoning what he had with you.
he’s about to turn away, before he hears your voice. “get in here, it’s freezing.”
he immediately obliges, stepping into the familiar space. crimson eyes stare at you, noticing your different appearance. you’ve cut your hair and pierced your ears. theres an ache in his chest seeing you for the first time again. suddenly the apartment began to feel much warmer.
“your hair. its… shorter.” he awkwardly mutters like a teenage boy asking you to a dance.
“uh, yeah. i wanted a change.” you chuckle, no less uncomfortable than him.
he wants to take your hand, but he’s scared he’ll drop it again. your place was cozy, yet crestfallen. he remembered you told him you never particularly enjoyed living alone. you lead him to the living room. there, he sees your cats cuddling, slightly jealous of the companionship they share.
its here he notices that its still chilly, albeit not as cold as outside. he quickly clutches his hands around the warm cup of tea you bring him, taking in the mundane sounds of your apartment. leftovers on the stove, the dripping of the sink, and the soft snores of your feline companions.
“sorry, my heaters still broken.” you apologetically quip, sitting down next to him on the couch. katsuki mentally facepalms himself for that. he said he’d fix it for you before he left.
“yeah. guess i forgot about that.” he says, barely looking you in the eye. if he was gonna break up with you, leave you stranded and hop on a flight out of the country, you think the least he could do is make sure you stayed warm- but no.
“why didn’t you get it fixed yourself?” he asks, his usual gruff voice replaced by a particular softness for you.
you just shrug. “i don’t know. i never got around to it. winter came early.”
the both of you remember when you first got together. he told his family for a reason. he was so excited, saying he found the one. a few months later, no one was celebrating.
love slipped beyond his reaches the day he began doubting himself. he wasn’t good enough for you. becoming the #1 hero in his country only made him wonder more about his worth. he could barely give a reason towards the break up, instead spewing out that he needed to think things through instead.
“..how was your trip?” you break the silence, though you know the answer. his trip was great. the media wouldn’t shut up about it. about his parties and award shows, about the lives he saved and the talents he has. they particularly the people, more so the girls he was with. though you decided not to bring that part up.
he paused for a moment. he knew you would say something about it soon. he was being watched and photographed everywhere he went, which included a few girls who got some videos and pictures with him.
“it was exhausting, more than fun. you know all those girls only care about publicity and attention, none of it was real.” he sighs, taking a sip of his tea.
“i didn’t bring up girls.” you’re quick to remind him. though its nice how he’s so quick to assure any doubts you may have. “but… yeah. i figured as much.”
“you know nothing happened between me and anyone you saw, right?” he asks in a tone that makes it sound like it should be obvious- but its not. katsuki could have went home with someone else, done illicit drugs, drank and had unprotected sex, and it wouldn’t be any of your business.
“it… wouldn’t matter anymore if you did. we broke up before you left, remember?” you say.
theres nothing with katsuki’s memory. he thinks about that break up every damn night.
“um.. least you had kirishima with you.” you quip, just trying to lighten the mood. you get a genuine smile out of the blonde.
“yeah. shitty hair was annoying, as usual.” he chuckles fondly. only best friends can refer to each other like that.
shitty hair was also the guy that kept katsuki from doing something, or rather someone, he might regret. he knows his best friend and he knows where his feelings lie.
katsuki was midas. everything he touched turned to gold. and people adored him for it, revelling in the fame and fortune. but with that superpower comes consequences. not everything should b shiny and gold. sure, his midas touch on the chevy door looked beautiful, but you two could never actually drive it. your relationship shimmered and glistened, but it never went anywhere.
but for a moment, things were good. you’d laugh and smile with your group of friends- though after the breakup you believed you’d never say that word again. now, those friends have the nerve to deck the halls that katsuki once loved you in.
he never was ready, so you watched him go. neither of you just didn’t know the answer, even after begging him to stay on your knees.
you would have made such a lovely bride. what a shamed he’s fucked in the head. even though to him you were the real thing.
he still has your picture in his wallet. he wants to your hold hand dancing, and never leave you like he did ever again.
“…what happened to us, anyway?” he dares to ask, his whisper speaking volumes in the silence. he knows the answer. he knows why he did what he did. but you suppose he wants to know what you think.
“one moment you love me, and your promising to fix my heater… next thing i know, you’ve gotta think things through. and then you’re on a plane to los angeles.”
he flinches at that. kind of a dick move on his part, not explaining things and immediately fleeing the country afterwards. to be fair, it was a pr trip he had planned months before, but if that wasn’t the case he’d still book a spontaneous trip to alberta or somewhere, like the coward he is.
he feels the most guilt when you bring up the heater he said he’d fix. it wasn’t the only thing he promised you. he swore you’d always be loved, that you’d never be alone, and yet he couldn’t even give you a god damn warm apartment for the winter.
“i did love you.” he attempts to correct you, though you focus only on one word.
“did?” you ask, hesitantly.
he pauses again, realizing his slip up.
“…i do love you.”
you shake your head silently, eyes welling up with tears. one falls into your cup of tea. “don’t… don’t say that just to make me feel better, kats.”
but he’s not. he’s saying it because he means it. he’s saying it because he’s kept his mothers ring in his pocket, preparing for the moment he’ll make it your ring.
at this point, he can tell the cold is getting to you. your shaking slightly, your loose sweater respectfully doing nothing to shield you from the winter air. a broken heater neglected by a shitty ex-boyfriend is enough cold.
“you’re cold?” he asks. “no, i’m warm.” you answer sarcastically. its his fault for asking.
he debates on it for a moment. normally, he wouldn’t think twice before pulling you into his embrace. but now, he worries. he wonders if thats even what you want. his quirk keeps him warm enough, but you don’t have that. seeing your reaction to the bitter winter air pushes him to a decision.
“c’mere.”
maybe its the cold, the ache in your heart missing him, or some combination of both, but you don’t think twice before shuffling over to him on the couch as he wraps his arms around you. your head lays against his chest, listening to the rise and fall of his heartbeat and the warmth of his embrace.
god, he missed this. even the warmth of LA didn’t compare to holding you on a chilled night.
“you’re the worst.” you whisper, obviously still angry and heartbroken, yet still in his embrace. “i love you.”
those words feel like a confession. he takes it, both the proclamation of his faults and the admission that you still love him. both are true.
“i love you too, dumbass.” he says. “and i’m not just saying that.”
you perk your head up slightly, finally asking the million-dollar question: “..then why’d you break things off?”
he looks at you. he knows exactly why. but he’s not sure if he can break it to you yet. ultimately, he decides you deserve the truth.
with a sigh, he finally speaks. “i… i don’t know. i thought it would be better for you. i thought you’d be happier without me dragging you down, babe.”
you look into his red eyes and determine that he is, in fact, telling the truth- despite how fabricated it sounds. katsuki bakugou, the incredible #1 hero who was the best of the best, thought he wasn’t good enough?
yeah, thats exactly the case. because even through his heroic outside, katsuki wondered if you deserved more. or better.
he sees the confusion in your eyes and decided to explain his thoughts further. “i thought you’d be better off without me, with someone else. i thought you’d find someone better than me who didn’t have such a shitty personality, someone who you’d be better with.”
you shake your head, making sure he hears you. “i know you’ve been doubting yourself since you became #1… wondering if you’re good enough or not, but… i thought you’d at least know you’re good enough for me.”
its crazy to him how easy it was for his fears to die down if he had just talked to you in the first place. he’s learned his lesson.
so he nods, pressing a kiss and an “i’m sorry” to your forehead. you continue talking to him.
“you’re shitty, and you’re kind of an asshole.” you chuckle. “you’re also really sweet when it counts. you remember things about me. you fix things, i guess except for my heater… you’re good to me. you try. you try harder with me than with anything else in your life.”
he couldn’t help but smile a little at the truth in your words. even counting his time in UA, his relentless training to become a hero, katsuki tried the hardest to become better for you. “yeah. you make me wanna change.”
he presses his forehead to yours, just relishing in the newfound warmth. he’s happy, content.
“lets call it even.” you whisper, fingers intertwining with his. “i didn’t think i was good enough for you either.”
he almost scoffs at that. “you’re an idiot for thinkin’ that.”
you roll your eyes. “so are you.”
tags! 🫧
@dragonscribble @rayleeya @brisklofitea @saceaseeds
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thewritetofreespeech · 2 months ago
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I made a mistake in my request so please delete it! Can I request headcanons for Astarion, Gale, Wyll, and Halsin reacting to his gn crush telling him that they're not worthy to be with him please?
Astarion
“Worthy? Pft. When is anyone worthy of anything darling? Who decides who is worthy? We simply have to reach out and take it! And I’ve already grown quite fond of you.”
In truth, bile rises in Astarion’s throat when you say those words. He knows what it means to feel unworthy. To feel unworthy to live. To breathe. To exist. For you, the only person he’s ever cared for & truly cared for him in return, to feel this way makes him sick. Unfortunately he’s the worst person to fix this problem. He’s never felt ‘worthy’ of anything in his whole life.
Wyll
“There is no possible version of a story where you are not worthy. To or for me. You have seen me at my lowest. My most humbled. A time when it would have been easy to turn your back on me, yet you stayed. If that does not make you worthy, then there is no one worthy.”
In truth, Wyll’s dejected that you feel this way. To fail someone else so important to him. To lose your trust and respect. He has always tried to be the most upstanding version of himself & to do right, but if he can make even the person he loves feel unworthy, he is not fit to call himself the Blade; or a man.
Gale
“How could you think such a thing? If anyone is ‘unworthy’ in our relationship, it’s me. I ask so much of you, yet give so little by compare. Your courage. Your compassion. Your love for me has made you more worthy than anyone else I have ever known. I aspire to be half the man you damine me to be.”
In truth, Gale feels heart broken that you feel this way. How was it that he was failing another lover again? Clearly by his own selfishness once more. He resolves to make you feel as worthy as possible for the remainder of your time together; however long or short that may be. This wrong must obviously be rectified.
Halsin
“Don't sell yourself short. I have tried all my life to be worthy. Worthy of the title of Arch Druid. Worthy of Oak Father's blessing enough to end the Shadow Curse. But I always found myself wanting. When I am with you though, I find myself finally worthy of some of the praise in my life. You bring more worth to my life than words can imagine. It is no small thing."
In truth, Halsin knows what it is like to feel this way, as mentioned above, and he cannot stand the thought that he made you, even for a moment, feel this way. He has always gone with the way nature intended, but perhaps he could try to be a little more nurturing to his relationship with you. He won’t have you feel this way ever again.
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otasnox · 10 months ago
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デイビッドちゃあああん~… 会いたいよ (。T ω T。) まだ愛してる… まだ 僕のこと 好きですか? we never talk anymore... is that my fault...?
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suguru-getos · 3 months ago
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Fates - SatoSugu x F!Reader (Part I)
Summary: Y/N is Gojo Satoru's beloved wife, or maybe, not so beloved if we consider the rage festering in the form of abuse. Suguru however, has a connection to her too, and it's time he gets to his girl. Warnings: Satoru is a Yandere, he is psychotic, abusive, and bad. Mentions of slight depression, scared reader. Please let me know if I missed anything. A/N: Queen Goddess Ena cooked with this, I was so bored at work I just came up with this, this story will only have two parts I don't want to drag it much :33
Pupils glazed, it has almost become a signature look in the Satoru household. Her pupils look red, eyes puffy, and she's a mixture of mingled sniffles and broken cries. Satoru thinks, she cries a lot. What even is the need for it? It's not like he is harming her, he hasn't shown her half of what he is capable of. Yet, the way she cowers and flinches against him… makes his stomach churn uncomfortably.
"I brought your favourite." His voice echoed, a signal for her to stir awake instantly. Meek, hurried footsteps are heard a few seconds later as she drags herself to the dining area. Dressed eloquently, satin, lavender satin clothes and her beautiful cleavage on sight. It reminds Satoru that she is small, fragile, powerless. Sometimes when her actions become inexcusable, that reminder is needed. How else would someone like Gojo Satoru contain his strength otherwise?
"Wow, you look beautiful." His glossy lips parted, the compliment oozing out with a mixture of conflicted emotions. His eyes well hidden under the mask. "Thank you" She answered without thinking, it's only possible through months of practise after all.
"You're welcome, my Princess." Satoru croons, holding her bruised wrist and helping her sit. The hold is nice, kind and passionate. Unlike the time when it bruised, unlike the time when she wouldn't listen and deny eating. Some lessons are learnt the hard way, you can't help but feel guilty about it later on. For Satoru, it's one of those days where he is feeling upset over his actions. When that emotion trembles his psyche, his affections know no bounds. Why else is the dining table saturated with everything her silly, little heart could possibly desire. Yet, there is one thing missing. Her appetite.
She settles down the dining table, eyes glancing at the larger man who sat next to her, "All your favourites, now be a good girl and finish it up." He grins, it's okay, he can smile for the both of them on days when she can't. He can be positive for the both of them when she can't. What else are relationships for?
"You know I can't finish it up alone." She sounds scared, voice containing slight tones of malice. That doesn’t faze Satoru, he knows that it will happen. His Dearest, Sweetest little girl can be angry at him. She is allowed to be angry at him, he belongs to her anyway, just as much as she belongs to him. However, the fact that her eyes are filled with tears and her soft, smooth voice is breaking when she says it is what punches him in the gut.
"Well, you know, no punishments when you can't finish the food. Bonus points for trying!" Satoru tries to sound excessively excited again, a desperate attempt to mute the bubbling feeling in the pit of his stomach.
"Okay" She hums, taking a bite of one of the pastries placed in front of her, humming in her approval. They seem tasty, yummy.
"I- uh," Satoru's voice is quick to distract her though, "I'm sorry for being a bad husband." Satoru answers, "It wouldn't happen again." There he goes, she has lost count to how many times Satoru has said these words. That he wouldn't do it again, that it wouldn't happen again. She doesn't believe him anymore, a bored nod is all he gets as a response.
Satoru's lips are pursed in guilt, "I shouldn't have lost my temper like that." He echoes again, that's true, he shouldn't have.
He shouldn't have sprained her wrist, he shouldn't have yanked her to the floor and yelled at her, he shouldn't have watched when her shoulder collides against the lamp and he shouldn't have watched her hiss in pain when she falls on the broken shards of glass. He shouldn't have done that because she didn't agree to have a baby. He shouldn't have…
"If it’s any consolation, I will not be botherin' you to ask you for a child again. Just thought you'd love me more with it." Satoru's voice drops into an ashamed murmur, admitting that all he wants at the end of the day is her love, it's freeing in a way. It's like confessing your sins at a church and just letting the almighty handle it.
It's just… her expression. She seems so out of it, so numb, broken… that he doesn't understand what to do, or say.
"Look, I'm running out of options here Sweetheart." Satoru's larger hand placed atop hers. The weak flinch not gone unnoticed, "How can I make it up to you?" He asked again, gnawing at his lip. "I'll do whatever you ask me to, I promise."
No he won't. If he would have actually done whatever she asked of him, they would have been divorced long, long ago. Satoru is good with words, his words almost seem healing, but that's all they are. Mere Fucking Words.
Before she could say anything, Satoru's phone vibrates. The only thing she is thankful for, is Satoru's impossible schedule. Being the strongest sorcerer ever has it's perks for her. She gets to rot in the Gojo estate alone. Much better than the company of her cruel, narcissistic husband.
Satoru gets up, taking the call and walking away to the hall-way. She can hear him trying to deny this mission, but reluctantly accepting it. A sigh escapes him when he comes back to the dining room, kneeling in front of her.
"Hey, Princess…" His hand reached to her cheek, caressing the cut that's still healing. "I have to go for a mission, you could even go outside if you like!" He smiled, giving her the bait to ensure at least momentarily happiness. What can she even do when she goes outside? Nothing. Satoru has his clutches deep within her family, her parents love him. He is sponsoring her brother's education, he takes control of everything. He has taken an active participation in her father's business. Nothing can be done now, the last time she mentioned divorce Satoru went livid. She doesn't think she can handle that ever again.
Another rehearsed nod happens, as she watches The Strongest leave her be.
Once his presence is gone, her heart bursts open to wails of agony, breathless sniffling and scream crying. What did she ever do to anyone! Why is she facing this! Her hopeless sobs echoed the premises, all she could hear was her own voice, broken, sobbing like a child. Until even that stopped, until silence enveloped her and exhaustion blanketed her into slumber.
The next morning, she is awake, realizing she passed out on the dining table. Her back hurts at the weird position she slept in, an aching groan escaping her lips. Satoru's texts on her phone wishing a good morning. Life is back to being hell. She responds to his texts with a sigh, dragging her boulted feet for a shower. Contemplating, thinking if there is any escape at all which can be possible. None, nothing comes to her mind. Absolutely nothing.
Drying herself up, applying ointments and bandages to the wounds caused by her husband, she gets ready to go outside, the mall seems nice. Satoru is out of Japan for a few days, perfect opportunity to gather herself back again, after all, Satoru needs something to break, right?
The commute goes by in a haze, thoughts on thoughts piled up, overwhelming like auditorium chatter of an audience.
"Uhm, excuse me, I really liked this one." One of the girls next to her spoke, whiskey-kin hair, a few years younger. It was an only designer in the Chanel store which was left. "Uh- okay." She hums, leaning away. Well, that was too easy? The girl beamed with happiness. "Oh wow! Thank you so much miss!"
Y/N had learnt how to respond with smiles that avoid any questions, and that's exactly what she did. Smiled back at the girl.
"My name is Nanako, I am here for shopping because my birthday is coming up soon. You are here for shopping too, and from the bruise on your jaw and neck, it seems your husband says sorry with new things." She was taken aback at the boldness, blinking.
"N-no, it was just- an accident." "You don't have to pretend in front of me, I don't think your husband is around anyway." Nanako winked, smiling back. "You're really beautiful, pretty sure my dad would have treated you way better. Leave the bastard, dump him!" She continued, following a very confused Y/N out the store. What was the deal with this girl even? "Your dad would be almost my dad's age." "Adoptive! He is a few years older than you I think." Nanako hums again, "Coffee? I like you because you gave me my favourite dress!" "I don't think that-" "Please!" "Uhm, okay." Y/N speaks, giving up and following up.
They settle in one of the coffee shops in the mall, settling in. The waiter comes in and asks for their order, "Iced Mocha, please." Y/N hums, and Nanako orders a Frappucino for herself.
"Nanako, who have you bothered now." A silky voice echoed from behind, her eyes lingered to the man in front of them, black hair touching his back, eyes responsive and appealing, his cologne was strong, musky and spicy, a close-eyed smile plastered on his features. "Geto sama!" Nanako chirps happily, "Please come sit next to us." She urged the man, who scanned Y/N and Nanako.
"Hello, my name is Geto Suguru." The man coos, watching her look submissive and even scared. She continuously reminded herself that Satoru is not here, nothing will happen. "Y/N Gojo." She hums, the large diamond ring on her finger noticed immediately.
Suguru is meeting Satoru's wife for the first time, he had heard that Satoru had changed; he is not the epitome of kindness anymore. It's evident. The bruises on her jaw and cheek are evident. His eyes softened, his heart hurts. Suguru met Y/N first, when she wasn't Gojo's wife… and let her go, the curses within him erasing her memory. All because Satoru loved her and Suguru felt that he owed it to his best friend, to have someone like Y/N. To have someone who can show him how great it is to achieve true love. How a non-sorcerer like Y/N was able to take Suguru's heart away. Oh how he regrets it now, he let his precious Angel go, and now she is in hell. The reminder when her loving eyes turned to void after their last kiss. Suguru has had recurrent nightmares about it. Maybe that's the reason Satoru's behaviour has changed. The fear of losing Y/N back to Suguru.
Well, that fear is about to come true, Suguru has had enough.
"You look beautiful in that dress Y/N Gojo." Suguru's voice took the lead, smiling gently. "Pity those bruises don't really suit someone strong-looking like you." The next statement comes off as scathing. "Tell me, if the person you loved, and the person who loved you back, and you shared a kiss, and they forget you, what would you do to remind them?" Suguru's sudden question took her off-guard. What does he mean…
"Sorry?" "Oh don't be. I know the question is random." He hums, watching the waiter put down the coffee. "I would kiss him again, if a kiss doesn't remind him, don't think anything else will." Y/N answered. Her freshly manicured fingers grazing against the glass.
Suguru's smile only grows wider. "Oh right, wonderful." He hums, and in the next swift movement, his hands are grazing Y/N's jaw. Her eyes widening. What is with this man, what’s happening! Satoru would kill her, Satoru would kill this man. Why can't she move, why is she unable to resist - and why is her body not anxious? If Satoru was to come near to her like this, her heart beat would have raced and pounded recklessly, a panic attack brewing. Nothing is happening now- she is as calm as it can be.
"How I missed my Angel." Suguru hummed, leaning in and kissing her, forcing the most unforced kiss ever. His tongue contained something bitter, something that latched deep down her throat. Suguru wants his angel back, Suguru misses her, Satoru couldn't get someone he can't love properly. Suguru's entire being was shattered when he let her go, it's time he has her back.
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miley1442111 · 4 months ago
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accidents- r.cameron
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pairing: rafe cameron x fem! reader
summary: videos from the past resurface and it doesn't go well for your new relationship with rafe
warnings: kissing, toxic relationship, rafe is confused, cursing, drinking, suggestive mentions, mentions of rafe's addictions, mention of sobriety streak being broken, topper is an asshole, (i think that's it?)
not entirely proofread
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Rafe slowly walked into your bedroom. He had no idea what he was doing there, and it scared him. God, why did Topper ever speak? None of this would’ve happened if he’d just kept his mouth shut. 
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Three days earlier…
Rafe watched as you smiled at him across the crowded room. You were so beautiful, so radiant, so real, so his. Everyone knew you were Rafe Cameron’s girl, and in turn everyone knew Rafe was yours, even if you two hadn’t had ‘the conversation’ yet. Rafe wanted you more than anything, Rafe wanted you so much it had started to freak him out. He found himself being kinder, softer, and a lot more calm while he was around you, and even when he wasn’t around you. It felt good. Less people feared him. More people started to see him as a person, not this ‘unreal figure’ on the island. But Rafe was aware of what people said about you now that you two were together. He saw how some girls looked at you, he noticed how guys talked to you, and he always overheard people telling you that he fucked girls and tossed them to the side like they were nothing. He was just hoping that you wouldn’t listen.  
The last three months had been nice, the dates and the parties, but you were getting impatient. You wanted to be Rafe’s girlfriend, not just Rafe’s situationship. Rafe was great, despite the rumours from other people, and he was 5 months clean next week. He was a good guy, you knew that, and that’s what mattered to you. 
“Y/n!” Pope called you over as you scanned the beach for either Rafe or one of the pogues. He grabbed your hand and you ran with him, following as he led you to the outskirts of the party. It was a clear night and the stars were too pretty not to admire as you sat by the campfire beside your friends. Jokes were made, stories were told, and-
“Hey,” Rafe’s voice cut through the laughter and everyone’s heads turned. “I was wondering if we could talk?” His eyes were focused on you. This was awkward and uncomfortable for him. He had apologised, yes, but he was still hated by your friend group because of what he did to you and the rest of them. You’d gotten it the worst though, when he had stabbed you over the gold. You’d almost died. Granted, Rafe has apologised, but that was before you two started… whatever your relationship was, and you hadn’t brought it up since. You didn’t really want to considering the fact that when you two finally had sex, he’d see the scar on your lower right abdomen and know he caused it. It would break his heart. Rafe was a lot more sensitive than people thought and that's partly why you’d been putting off having sex. You knew he’d get upset. 
“Yeah sure,” you smiled, taking his hand and getting up, then turning back to the group. “I’ll be back in a few, ok?”
“Don’t lose her!” John B shouted. 
“Or we’ll kill you!” Jj added, a completely real threat as you chuckled. 
“He’s joking,” you assured an uneasy Rafe. 
“I’m not joking!” Jj shouted again. 
You both walked a little faster. 
“Umm ok so… how do I say this? Top- he’s totally drunk and I-I’m freaking out right now. H-he gave me a drink a-and I thought it was just sparkling water but it had v-vodka in it, a-and now my sober streak is gone and-” Rafe buried his face in your neck, tears spilling over as his panic reached concerning levels. 
“Baby, it’s ok,” you cooed. “It was just a sip, and it was only an accident. We can start again, you can start again. This was only a wobble,” you assured him, your hands rubbing his back as he cried into your shoulder. “Please don’t beat yourself or Topper overt this, we all make mistakes.”
He nodded as he sobbed into your neck, hearing your words. How was it that you could calm him down so instantly, so completely? It wasn’t fair. He’d needed you his whole life, and he only got you now? Bullshit. Well, he’d take what he could get. “I love you,” He whispered and you went rigid. 
Every bone heavy, every muscle tense, blood frozen. Holy shit. 
Rafe Cameron was in love with you. What were you supposed to do? Say it back? You weren’t sure your mouth would open. “Hey pogue?” Topper’s voice cut through the deafening silence and brought you back down to Earth. “What the fuck do you think he’s doing with you?” he chuckled, drink in his hand and a bitter tone in his voice. “He’s going to tell you all his problems, and then he’s going to tell you that he loves you, and then he’ll fuck you a few times, probably be the best fuck of your life, and kick you to the curb!” he laughed. “Rafe Cameron strikes again!” 
Check, and check. The sex was probably coming later. You felt used. 
“Topper what the fuck man?” Rafe turned drying his eyes. “Do you even know how I feel about her?” 
“Yes I do, I remember the words being ‘easy’, ‘sweet’, and ‘virgin’. I still have the video,” Topper pulled out his video,scrolling for a moment as your heart slowly cracked. 
“What about her?” Topper had pointed at you in the video, it was at some party a few months ago. “Y/n Y/l/n.”
“She’s sweet and easy Top, come on, give me a challenge and someone who isn’t a virgin fucking prude,” Rafe laughed and the video continued of them rating girls from the island. 
God, you hated Topper right now. You hated Rafe right now. 
“Oh,” was all you got out before you started walking off, Rafe on your tail. 
“Look I-I’m sorry alright? I didn’t think about it, I didn’t even know you then! And I was drunk and Topper always brings out the worst in me, o-ok? So we can just go back t-to normal, right? You’ll be my girlfriend?” he pleaded but you kept walking, your heart shattering as he kept talking. “I love you!” 
You stopped in your tracks. “I just need… time, ok? Just give me a few days to work this out, ok?”
He nodded, tears pooling in his eyes. 
What the fuck were you going to do?
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“Hey,” he sat down beside you. “I’m so sorry about what I said.”
“It’s ok Rafe,” you shrugged. “Maybe sometimes people just aren’t meant to be.”
His head whipped around to make eye contact with you. Seriously? You were seriously thinking of leaving him? “What?” He whispered, the lump in his throat almost too big to swallow. 
“Rafe… come on. How am I supposed to have any peace of mind in your actual intentions when it stemmed from that video?” You sighed. Rafe was busy staring at admiring you. You were so beautiful, so smart, so… everything he wanted. 
You didn’t think it would hurt him. He’d broken up with tons of girls, you shouldn't be any different. 
You watched as a tear escaped his eye, how he bit the side of his cheek, and how he picked at the skin on his fingers. 
Oh. 
Maybe he did care. Or maybe it was an act. You weren’t sure. 
“I love you,” he whispered. “I meant that when I said it. And Topper’s wrong, I don’t just tell girls I love them. I’ve never told anyone that. Just you.”
Your breath hitched and you took his hand to stop him from picking until it bled. “Calm down Rafe,” you whispered. “It’s ok.”
If being near you calmed him down, having you touch him must’ve been the most soothing and tranquil experience of his life. “Please don’t leave me,” he pleaded, tears falling. “I promise I’ll make it up to you, I love you and I-I can’t lose you. Please let me make it up to you, I’ll be better for you, I swear-”
“I’m not leaving you,” you whispered, making a split-second decision you weren’t sure you’d regret. “I love you too Rafe.”
He looked up and you wiped some tears away. He smiled, then pulled you into his arms and kissed you softly. You loved being like this, kissing him, holding him, being with him. It was all perfect. His hand brushed your waist and lingered over the scar. He pulled away, sighing and scared, then pulled your shirt up slightly. 
Rafe wanted to sob the second he saw it. He loved you, all of you, so he needed to see it and get over it himself. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered, staring at it. “I will spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you.”
You smiled and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “People grow, Rafe. People change. It hurt, yes, but I survived. You survived. Life isn’t going to stop just because we’re upset about something, so don’t feel… held back by the past. I’ve accepted it, and you need to as well.”
He pressed his lips to yours again, and smiled for the first time in three days.
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obx masterlist :)
navigation for my blog :) (criminal minds, obx, the bear, marvel, top gun, the hunger games, challengers :)
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britney-rosberg06 · 5 months ago
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So, even though you have broken my heart yet again. I wanted to say…
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