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jakeswifeyyy · 2 days ago
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YOUR GIRL-P.SUNGHOON
Summary:Ever since you were kids,your brother Jake ,you,and sunghoon had always grown to be a very close trio though they were a year ahead of you in school it didn't change anything among you three ,but since you joined high-school ,you started to realise you'd caught feelings for your bestfriend,and after you find out he had a girlfriend everything between you is always on rocky tides picking up fights over anything that is until one day everything changes ,could be for the better or for the worse
Contains:angst ,smut,fluff (if you squint you'll see)nsfw tags under cut
wc:3.7k
NOTE:This is my first fic ever on this app so I hope you enjoy guys :) and feel free to send me asks
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warning:unprotected sex(pls dont do this),nipple?breast play,making out,oral(mostly f receiving slightly m receiving),pet names(only baby i think),squirting,missionary and doggy positions,lmk if I forgot
You remember the first day you ever laid eyes on Sunghoon ,it was back when you were in 3rd grade and your older brother Jake was a year ahead of you in 4th grade and also a year older ,you were coming back home from school when you saw a moving truck parked in front of your neighbor's house ,you ignored it skipping to our house where outside you saw Jake talking to an unfamiliar boy who looked his age,"Hi Yunnie,what's going on and who's this" you said eyeing the shy boy curiously from head to toe and pointing towards the commotion going on in the compound next to ours."Oh hey little sis,we have new neighbors moving in a couple and their son ,this is the son,Sunghoon"The shy boy was obviously flustered out of being nervous as I could also tell he was quite the introvert ,youstuck your hand out offering a handshake and you smiled at him to which he smiled back,"Hi Sunghoon,I'm y/n but i will call you hoon your name is too long"you laughed then ran inside bidding them both goodbye as they kept talking and went inside to find your mom cooking so you helped her around for the dinner she'd planned with the Park family that evening ,about nearly time Sunghoon came over with his sister who you learned was yeji a very polite quiet girl and that night both our families bonded over dinner,that was day one of your frienship.
All 3 of you became completely inseperable from that day onwards .So you would all practically do everything together never leaving anyone out but it all started once they joined highschool and started acting different especially Jake,for instance since you had very busy parents who were rarely ever home and Jake had just turned into an adult he started wreaking havoc ,late night parties on school nights ,if not he was barely ever home but he still did his part as an older brother but ever since one night he lost his virginity when he had just turned 18 and you had just joined highschool you just couldn't see him the same anymore and ironically at the same exact time,you started catching feelings for sunghoon and it wasn't just the beginning you had noticed started seeing him different from a year earlier ,everytime you were around him your heart beat rose a little ,you would smile uncontrollably ,you would blush for NO reason at all,but you remembered what you were and there was no way he would ever see you how you saw him ,you were just like his little sister to him as if he had not made it obvious enough these mixed up feelings made you confused and scared but also angry,and you decided to blame him for all of this,why did he have to always pull the little sister card on you? and you had had enough of it so you decided you would get him off your mind and erase him from your life,all these thoughts fueled by anger.
That following whole week you left early for school everyday without lettng jake or sunghoon know,jake wasnt all the much bothered but sunghoon sure was,oneday after a week of successfully avoiding them or ore so avoiding sunghoon you were preparing for a class before checking the time on your phone
Just as you put your phone in the locker someone appears behind you,"hey y/n" you turn around to find sunghoon and your face drops "oh hi"you reply back as dry as you can
"C'mere" He says as he leads you to an empty corridor,"Sunghoon let go of me I don't think your girlfriend would like seeing this,and you know how stuff spreads in this school it will reach her",you try pulling your hand out of his grasp,"I know but this is important"he says as he turns to you taking ahold of both yourhands,"Ah what is it?",he bit his lip in concentration looking away before taking a deep breathe and looking at you again ,deep into your eyes, It felt like he was piercing daggers into your skull,"I've been meaning to ask you.."He says "Why've you been avoiding me and acting off for the past week" you raise your eyebrows at him before scoffing and looking away,"you're really asking me this and you have a girlfriend Park sunghoon?"
He was visibly shocked you'd never called him by his two names let alone his full name,"Why not? We've always been close even when I didn't have a girlfriend.. why is it suddenly a big deal now I have a girlfriend..?",you laughed before staring him dead in the eye"You really asking me that?,what do you think sunghoon why do you think I'm doing this huh?"he looked confused and couldn't figure it out and that just made your anger boil more and you got frustrated,"No just no",you move away from him frustrated,"Why are you being like this..?"he says, taking a step forward for every step you take back,","Wait.. we're not done with this conversation yet..!"you roll your eyes at him,"Ugh leave me alone for heaven's sake",you pull harshly at your hand, "I will once you explain this..!" he says, his hold on your wrist getting a little tighter,"Sunghoon let the fuck go of me"He doesn't let go, gripping tighter on your wrist"Stop acting so stubborn and listen to me!" He pinned you against the wall after saying that,"I'll give you 5 minutes to talk park,just five "Fine.." he says with a huff, still keeping you pinned against the wall "But if you're doing this, then you need to listen to me.."He sighs and looks you in the eye"Why are you avoiding me and acting so damn different..?"you closed your eyes trying to calm myself down to not burst out at him but ended up doing it anyway,"Maybe cause I fucking liked you but you were too blind to see that just pulling the little fucking sister card on me every damn time"His eyes widen a bit hearing what you said, he was completely caught off guard and suddenly felt awful"You.. you liked me..?,"you scoff at his shock,"Yes liked as in past tense and it's over if anything you're nothing to me now",you feel him tense"y/n...",I scoff,"what, park",I bite back ,"I liked you too....",your annoyed smirk dropped,"you what-",suddenly he abruptly let go of you,"shit I uhm need to go do something," before you could even respond he ran off,still in a daze you fell to the floor and stared at the ground,"i shouldnt have done that now ive probably ruined evrything between us that was there",you said to yourself,you left to go home where you found Jake getting ready,"where you going jake ?",he briefly smiled at you before responding "Party at yeonjun's he told me to invite you ,if you would like to come",i nodded in understanding before he said,"If you decide to get ready when sunghoon is gonna come over tell him I'm not around if he can to take you to the party," youjust nodded and with a brief pat on the head he left.
you had 2 hours to the party and was feeling a little risky and needed someone to get myyour mind off of sunghoon tonight you decided to wear the sluttiest dress you ever owned which was a thigh high minidress with a slit through the side to right below the hip and some spaghetti straps which exposed her collarbones ,after a finishing touch of make up you decided that was the look you'd be going for ,you still had an hour left to kil so you decided to just scroll through your phone when you heard the doorbell ring,"oh sunghoon,hi",he hesitated a bit before replying,"hey y/n jake's gone right?",youlooked at him confused,"uh yeah,"he closed the door behind him and took of his shoes,hung his jacket on the coat hanger before walking towards you,"thats perfect then..,"he was still walking towards you while you backed away,"S-sunghoon w-what are you doing",he didnt answer but kept walking towards you till he pinned me against the wall,staring down at you with an intense yet soft and dark gaze,while you looked up at him confused,"H-hoon-",he put his finger on your lip to keep you quiet finger slightly lingering there so were his eyes,"i wanna show you how much i truly do love you,that girl you sawme with? she was just a distraction to me from you cause baby i thought about you day and night and knowing how wrong this was because of our friendship i wanted to avoid it but fuck baby i just cant get my mind off of you ,you know that?you make me go crazy baby,will you let me prove my love for you because i love you so damn much y/n?",you was shocked by his confession and couldnt even find words to respond,you just smiled up at him and nodded,then you felt him lean down,he leaned his forehead against yourd and your crackhead self decided to crack a joke,"Guess there was never an intention for a party huh?",he chuckled in his deep voice and the mini you in your head did cartwheels,"oh baby we'll have a party of our own right here",with that he trailed his other hand up my side and rested it at my waist.
"Kiss me hoon",he smirked as if he was waiting for those words,"your wish is my command baby,"with that his lips met you could've moaned at just the feeling of his soft plump lips on mine but held it in but when he bit your lip you audibly moaned and he pulled back and smirked,"you sound so fucking beautiful baby i need to hear more of those pretty moans",you blushed and looked away at his words before he held your chin and turned you to face him,he had this smug smirk you just wanted to wipe off his lips,"how about we go to your room baby its gonna be a long night,"you internally blushed core throbbing with longing,somehow losing your ability to speak around him,"o-okay,"his hands went under your ass lifting you up and you wrapped your legs around his waist and he started kissing you again this time,wrapping your hands around his neck ,fingers tugging at his hair and deepening the kiss it got rougher and rougher and before you knew it you both reached your room and continued making out against the wall he bit your lip again inserting his tongue in your mouth as your tongues fought ,it was messy but none of you was in the right mind to care.
He then set you down,"strip for me baby,"he then went and sat at the edge of the bed watching you with such a piercing gaze you felt youtself shudder before you reached for the strap of your dress pulling it down,then the same on the other side,but you weren't wearing a bra and suddenly felt shy and couldn't move on further,he noticed you hesitate and stood up walking towards you,"Did i make you uncomfortable baby-"you shut him up kissing him abruptly before responding,"no,i want you to take it off yourself",he let out a shaky breath,"oh baby the things you do to me,"he pulled you towards the bed laying you down and was about to lean in again before you put your hand on his chest,"hoonie take this off please"you started unbuttoning his shirt before he stood on his knees and took it off himself before leaning back down kissing your lips briefly and started trailing hot kisses down ,across your jaw ,down your neck down to your collarbone while you arched your back up into the air your chest making contact with his hard one while you moaned uncontrollably before you felt him pull the dress down leaving pecks teasingly around your hardened peaks while looking up at you tracing his tongue around your nipple before finally engulfing it making you let out a moan of relief as he sucked on one breast , his hand massaging the other breast flicking your nipple with his pointer finger ,the aching in your core just intensifed more and more before he finally left your breasts,"hoonie want your cock in me please,"you whimpered,"oh baby ill give it to you wanna taste your pretty pussy first hm?,"you felt scared now no one had ever eaten you out before,"h-hoon what if it tastes weird what if you dont like it-" he shut you up with his finger on my lips shaking his head disapprovingly,before pulling down the rest of your dress,together with your panties.
Once fully bare he spread your legs loudly groaning at the sight,"oh baby how have you been hiding this pretty lil' pussy from me huh?"you couldnt even respond before he was already leaning down licking a fat stripe from your entrance to your clit ,gathering your juices,before circling the bundle of nerves with his tongue while you were writhing beneath him,"fuck hoonie yes please-",he smirked slurping messily before teasing your entrance with the tip of his tongue,"please what baby,tell me what you want",you couldn't even form words but i tried,"your f-fingers please hoonie,"he didn't need to be told twice before he slid one finger inside me slowly pumping it in and out curling them just right,"m-more.."you managed to squeak out,"you sure you can take more baby?"you nodded frantically and he added another finger setting a pace pumping them in and out quickly,"hoonie m'gonna cum ngh",he chuckled,"falling apart this fast on my fingers makes me wonder hw long you'll last on my cock baby,go ahead cum on my fingers"feeling the knot in my stomach loosen as you came down from your high,"you okay baby?",you nodded before spreading your legs wider,"fuck me hoonie.."you whimpered.
You heard him inhale sharply before taking of his pants togetherwith his boxers and you saw how big and achingly hard his pretty cock was ,angry red tip with precum glistening at the top decorated with pretty veins you wanted to lick along,but that would be for another day,he then positioned himself between your legs,"ready baby?"you nodded while taking a deep breathe before you felt his tip poke through your entrance and the feeling was like no other,you never pictured yourself letting out such a pornographic moan but even he seemed satisfied with it because he smirked,then he went all the way in before pulling back out and slamming right back in ,he started thrusting fucking in balls deep in an unforgiving pace,"S-shit hoonie so good,"he kept fcking into you without a break,lifting your leg over his shoulder making his tip poke at that exact place that made your legs shake,"yeah baby?....you wanna cum so soon?...i feel you clenching around me baby ,fuck yeah milk my cock dry?"you felt your high approaching fast,"hoon gonna-"he suddenly flipped you onto all fours fucking at an unrelentless pace the new position making him hit deeper to places you never discovered with just your fingers ,he pulled you up your back against his chest as he kept fucking into you nonstop one had coming to your breast pinching and twisting your nipple while the other went south towards your clit circling it in fast circles,"hoon something feels different ngh"you weren't sure if it was good or bad but he kept going and all of a sudden it went black and you felt his thrusts slow down and when you opened my eyes a few seconds later it was wet everywhere,"fuck baby that was so hot you squirted,"you blushed out of embarrasment then remembered ,"hoon you havent-"he chuckled bringing his hand to his cock pumping it extremely fast to get him off while you just watched in awe at the sight infront of you before he came making a mess over yourpussy and fell on top of you catching his breath.
a few minutes later he stood up to get a towel from my bathroom wiping you clean and himself before he got you a shirt and put on his boxers crawling into bed with you leaving small pecks all over your face as your eyes slowly shut,"i love you baby,"you smiled at his words before replying,"i love you to hoonie"then you both fell asleep and that was probably the best sleep you ever had.
safe to say jake and giselle had a lot of questions the next morning when they walked in on you giving hoon the suck of his life
THE END~
(This hasn't been proofread as I had a really bad headache whilst writing so please ignore the errors)
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taglist:@en-verse only <3
this might be a bit confusing i had a headache while writing :)
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daisybell-on-a-carousel · 2 months ago
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Sometimes dpxdc fics make Jason a half ghost, his ghost form usually being his robin self with inverted colors. Inverted some of my art to help visualize this for me
Play your cards right and that's a trans flag right there, further proof that all half ghosts are trans /silly
But also, we can get way more intentional with this, and make both versions of the outfit more cohesive
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:3c
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s0fti3w1tch · 2 years ago
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oooo is td gonna have an IDW situation where it's like Leo's dark Leo split personality by the aftermath? Maye that;d be cool
I'm not going to do that.
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I know you have good intentions, but as the host of an OSDD system, I want to tell you that this isn't right.
I have a lot of feelings about IDW's whole Dark Leo situation after the events of City Fall story arc. Though, even regardless of those feelings, there are very few situations where giving a character an evil alter sits right with me (which is to say, I've seen good hypothetical story ideas from other systems, but never one from a notable published work).
In the way you're suggesting, this is not one that sits right.
This is a tired, harmful trope that I do not wish to include in my work.
I am not saying you are a bad person who meant to inflict harm. I simply wish to inform you as someone who has been harmed by the various misconceptions relating to those like us.
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bluebunnysart · 27 days ago
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MAKE TETO PURR IN YOUR NEXT FANFIC AND MY LIFE IS YOURS.
Anyways hi (I am smelt_enjoyer from ao3) In your mikuteto fanfics I noticed you have been leaning towards more chimera-ish traits for teto (wagging tail etc.) so you should…. Maybe… do purring 👉👈🥺… please
Anyways I love your mikuteto fanifics I would sell my soul for them
LOOOL
This ask made me genuinely laugh because I wasn't expecting it at ALL xD Thank you for enjoying my fics!! 💕💕💕 Ever since this AU's Miku and Teto appeared in my head, they've never left, so every day I am literally thinking about them and missing them and trying to figure out how to make them cooler 😂😂😂 (not an exaggeration, I probably relistened to the same four songs like literally 2-3 days ago while thinking about them again lmfao, will share if requested xD)
This is such an interesting request fr but I'll consider it wwww
You're absolutely right that I lean towards more chimera-ish traits for Teto, and that's 'cuz I think it's cute hahaha xD As a chimera, she IS a kind of animal (a combination of more than one of them), but I want to assure my audience that I don't make her animal-like 'cuz I'm a full-blooded furry or anything hhdsfkfds I do it 'cuz I really like the contrast with Miku (who's learning how to be more human-like and isn't instinctual/"alive" like Teto) and 'cuz I really like the idea of Teto's more unconscious side giving her away. Animals are pretty instinctual/straightforward (a dog's tail will wag when happy, for example) so Teto's tail is always doing all the talking even if she acts outwardly tsundere. In one of my yapping sessions (one of the first ones), I even talk about how her wings and pose might change to imitate/recall the defensive posture of an owl, so she's animal-like without going the full nine yards and being an ACTUAL animal (in terms of "non-human-like" vs not, I think/hope you get what I mean without me being 100% accurate over definitions fsdhkfsjdfds)
With all that said, purring isn't out of the question for her but my favorite animal to compare her to is the dragon (as a shameless dragon lover) so the animals I usually compare her to are typically, like, aggressive fhdhfkjds What that means, obviously, is instead of being cute and cat-like, she's more likely to growl, snarl, or bark instead of purr (I hope this mental image isn't off-putting LMAO I'm talking purely theory, she might not do these things if my brain ultimately decides it's too out of character for her), but yeah! Hmm!!
What I'll give you is if chimera Teto is relaxed and calm enough, it's not farfetched for her to purr (make a contented sound from her throat, the definition of purring) but are you sure you want this fhshdfkdsfsd How far can it go before the animal-ness gets too weird wwwwww
I'm not self-conscious about it or anything www I just want to say that this Teto (chimera Teto) also has a lot of pride, so even if she ever wanted to, she would probably NEVER do anything like roll on her back and act cat-like/ask for pats, so she's got some human-like ego to get past first before she ever acts cuddly like a kitten. Like I said before, she's more likely to growl in my head than purr, so I feel like even that growling can be turned into like a sound of satisfaction. BUT gdskfldsfs she's animal-LIKE but she doesn't go THAT far, so I would have to figure out what kind of situation would call for that hhkjdshdsj Teto still knows how to smile and express her feelings without acting like an animal (I feel like the latter is PRECISELY what embarrasses her and what she suppresses, stuff like if she ever gets slightly possessive or needy towards Miku) so yeah, I wrote all of that just to ramble about your suggestion and how the Teto in my mind is reacting to all of that xD
I'll think about it, basically! But I wonder if it'll work... If it doesn't show up, I hope this explanation suffices as to why, LMAO, but I like the idea though! ^^ It's cute! xD
Anyhow, pls keep your soul 😂😂😂😂 You need that... Also, I don't have that kind of money and don't purchase such things, so pls value it more wwwww
You're totally free to send me more asks about the AU 'cuz I think about it constantly and I love seeing people's interpretations and ideas, but this ask alone also made me happy. Thank you! c: I'm glad you approve. Makes me happy for real! ❤🥰
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duckduckngoose · 8 months ago
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Can my dnd character PLEASE stop evading every attempt at me trying to either develop her backstory or just anything
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plulp · 1 year ago
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hey guys sorry for the radio silence (4 days) :( Im Sick
but in other news: almost at 200 followers!!!! so if any of you want me to do the same thing i did last time (maybe not as much) or something different i can to celebrate :) since i should be free to draw however much after this week (have some things to take care of (while im sick))
#ill finish doing asks when i get back home (dont know when)#and then when i hit 200 ill do another thing i guess? maybe pcs again or maybe ill draw other peoples dol designs but problem with that is#i Dont Know Many People Here 😰#i only follow legit like 5 people and i dont check this dashboard often so i miss a lot#since i usually use my main tumblr to yknow. scroll through tumblr#i wish i could reblog other peoples art more often too but for some reason i get nervous? its so weird. i get nervous writing tags#probably because i get too excited and then i get a headache#what was this about again#oh#if any of you have anything you want me to do for 200 you can send an ask or something and ill make a poll so you all can vote on it maybe#but hopefully i can do it like order as in: finish asks i have now > celebrate yay!! > draw more designs lmao#but before all of that. i have to finish this one thing. lemon honey green tea give me the strength i need to finish this.#i need to clear out ageless followers when i get home too :( so i might not be that close after that#right now im 8 away from 200 i think?#but thank you to whoevers followed me :)#if you dont have an age in your bio remember to put one okay? or ill get another headache#i think thats all i have to say right now? if you have any questions comments or concerns please dont be afraid of me.#germaphone#i promise i dont bite. i kind of gnaw like a toothless cat. its all gums and its slimy and feels weird. like that#200 follower special you all ask me about my teeth situation (nothing special really)
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maschotch · 10 months ago
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Hi! How are you? I'm rewatching CM and like the scene in 1x14, (JJ: my friends call me JJ, UNSUB: Welcome JJ, JJ: you're not my friend, you can call me Jennifer) and I get what she's attempting to accomplish here, she's trying to get the unsub (killed and raped young blond women) to see that he's not that type of intimate with her, but it comes off clunky and arrogant. She's rushing the interaction. What would have been better would be to introduce herself as Jennifer and then have Hotch call her JJ, and then if the Unsub called her JJ to say that. It comes off as less clunky and more natural, as well as establishing a base line, like Hotch is allowed to call her that and he isn't. But this the early 2000s and we need #girlpower. I just wanted to vent because that scene bothers me alot.
i completely agree for exactly this reason!! i can see what they were trying to do, but it really just… doesnt make sense. maybe if hotch had called her jj, then when jacob (that was the unsubs name, right?) tries to call her that she can say the “only my friends call me jj” line, but i see how that kinda takes away her agency.
idk. considering it’s one of my favorite cm episodes of all time, there’s actually a lot i can’t stand about it. the surface-level feminism jj line. the dumbass poker scene. the overdone suspense at the end. i loved sarah jean and gideon, but there’s a lot about the episode to forgive to get to the good stuff
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krembearry · 1 year ago
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i have been craving voice calls SO bad lately... i wanna just listen to people talk but everything has to have a specific topic or doesn't match my pace as well as just talking to people does ;0; i keep trying to find podcasts to scratch this itch but all of them are the same two professional Podcast Woman and Podcast Man talking about things like they're the ghosts of news reporters long passed
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dappersautismcreature · 1 year ago
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its so funny that so many of yall didnt know i wrote solitary snow cause like when i posted that i was worried everyone would be like "oh gods this guy is yapping about their fanfic AGAIN -___-" lmaoo
ig i havent posted abt it in a bit though
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For the 2 people who voted in my poll and were both unaware of Ruby's existence
Ruby was my hedgehog :) I got her in January 2016 when I was 12 and she was my best little buddy :) she got cancer in 2019 and had to be put down that September. I kept a few of her quills in a little vial charm on a necklace and wore it everyday for years, I just recently stopped wearing it everyday bc I got a different everyday necklace for my best friend. Here are pics of my beautiful baby girl
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the-kipsabian · 2 years ago
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i need to sleep but im so fucking anxious god i wanna die
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skrunksthatwunk · 1 year ago
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im finally going to replay y0...
#it's been a little over 2 years#and ive never replayed any of the games before so im very interested in what this is gonna be like#i just played them slowly and in order + lad ishin at the end#i kinda wanted to do the judgments first but uh. they're never on sale <3#someday though#ugh im nervous though#not about this but like. ok real ones will remember that a couple of months ago i mentioned i finally asked my mom for like. mental health#assistance that wasnt her telling me to stop spiralling. the two appointments we could do were like. next week or october#i technically have enough time to get my shit together but ive also like. never talked to an actual doctor about this stuff before#and she kept asking me if i could be more specific than 'general longterm mental health issues' (and anxiety which she added)#but like. i dont wanna tell her Shit about that yknow#especially not like. just woken up at 2pm no preparation#also she added anxiety on her own. so you KNEW it was an issue and you didn't fucking do anything about it? at all??#truthfully i don't think it's nearly as big of an issue as before. i get stressed about stuff sure but it's pretty circumstantial#like these days i dont have anxiety about much of anything because im not trying to decide my entire future between 8 hour days in the#bright lights and eye contact factory#girl you don't have any idea what we're getting into by doing this#anyway if i get an ocd diagnosis that'll be the most awkward because that's the only one they actively joke about and that i've butted head#with them on. (i mean theyre also shit to npd/aspd ppl i just haven't chewed them out for it yet bc every time i do that i end up useless#for the rest of the day at least and i gotta pick my battles)#and idek what i wanna do about the Probably Autism going on man. i've been thinking about doing foster care/adoption for years now#when im older/if im ever financially stable. a diagnosis could basically nuke my options for that#but they'd NEVER believe a self diagnosis#whatever FUCK JT ITS YAKUZING TIME!!!!!!!!!#OH AND IT'S THE FIRST TIME DOING ONE ON LEGEND#which im nervous about bc i never really play stuff on anything but normal#so uh. 😬😬
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orcelito · 2 years ago
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So I found out upon checking my email this morning that the therapy appointment isn't in the health building like I thought, but rather in the basement of a boy's only dorm further north
Which brings up two problems: that's even further away than I'd accounted for, and I find it SUPREMELY uncomfortable to go to a boy's only dorm for therapy, even if the office is in one of the general areas.
I'd already been conceding on the matter of agreeing to talk to a man, since I'm generally uncomfortable with talking to men I don't know, but it was the soonest appointment I could get... so I agreed to it, but finding out it's in the boy's only dorm is just Too Much. Not only would it make it even harder to get there, but my skin just kinda crawls thinking about baring my fuckin heart in a place so thoroughly meant for guys. Like it's a place I don't belong, which REALLY does not help give the comfort kinda required of such an appointment.
I called the office asking if the appointment could be set up on zoom (bc it mentioned it in the email), but the therapist was staunch on it being in-person, so I rescheduled with a different person for the 13th. Bc if this dude isn't gonna be understanding with my discomfort with the location, like fuckin hell I'm gonna let myself be emotionally vulnerable with him. Bet he was thinking I was being too picky like "Oh it's a stupid Girl who can't handle being around Men" like sorry I have a healthy fear of guys I don't know 😋😋😋😋😋 if U have a problem with it then change society so talking to unknown men doesn't feel like walking in a minefield. Thanks.
#speculation nation#so. no appointment today. i asked the receptionist just to be Sure of the location for the one next week#and yeah it's not gonna be in a fucking boy's only dorm#genuinely why the hell did they schedule me with someone there. ugh.#bit of a bummer but i do feel like i dodged a bullet#bc if the dude isnt gonna be understanding about this. why would he be understanding about other things?#bc ultimately this comes down to an accomodation for anxiety. he may think it's senseless but it's real to me.#being around men i dont know is just so uncomfortable. makes me so nervous. and Especially at a boy's college dorm...#if the guy cant concede to that then i cant trust him to be understanding of my other Issues. so it's better like this.#really fuckin annoying though. but i cant say i'm disappointed to have the extra time in my morning.#so it's... fine. i'll manage. im just vaguely disgruntled by it all.#negative/#Probs. im certainly complaining enough.#& pls dont come at me with the 'not all men' shtick. i Know majority of men are just normal people#but even among normal men i sometimes just feel like a hunk of meat to them#once i know a man & know hes not gonna try to hit on me or be creepy to me then i'm just fine#but unknown men. anything could happen. even an okay man could make me uncomfortable if he's overly friendly or hits on me#this is just basic self preservation ok. if youre a small 'girl' you learn very young to be careful with these things. ok.#anyways so that's My morning lol. ugh
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imthatqueerkid · 2 years ago
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#crush blogging day 49#today has been all about grappling with my inability to motivate myself to do anything#and the guilt i feel for leaving my cherished dragon plushie at fire boys house#its so silly hell be like 'dragon told me this' and i have to hold myself back from announcing 'he would not fucking say that'#youve characterized my boy so incorrectly you dont even know#blorbo from my plushie collection :(( look how theyve massacred my boy#anyway at this point im trying to understand the rhyme and reason behind the desire i feel towards him#by that i mean trying to be kind to myself when i feel sexually ir sensually attracted to him#and starting to explore more of where the shame comes from#why do i feel ashamed that i want to be close to him? why do i feel dirty for wondering about whether sex is something I'd want with him?#also: why do i feel the need to over analyze my desire to kiss him?#its literally not a big deal to want to kiss someone youve been going on dates with#but nooo ive gotta ask#do i really want to kiss him or do i just think i want to? if i really want to kiss him why didn't i the other night when he wanted to too?#(answer: if i didn't want to kiss him id probably not be up at 11 pm fantasizing about it)#(and its perfectly ok for me to not act on desires when im feeling scared or nervous; those feelings can and do coexist)#ughhhhh as soon as hes gone i want him back#as soon as ive got him and hes looking at me the way he does its like i feel so safe yet so nervous and i cant do anything#except hold him#mmmmmmmmmhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh see now i wish he were here so i could actually kiss him#but when he was here and down to kiss i couldn't face my fear of intimacy! how annoying is that????? (very)#this will be remedied soon because im pretty certain next time we hang out we will kiss. we will.#silly silly Jasper#fire boy#from the couch#Spotify
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skyburger · 7 months ago
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Ohmy god my bad guys i spent like an hour ramblingabout music opinions. at least its in the tags of my own post though could be worse
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ashlynlovestlou · 8 months ago
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abby x anxious! virgin! reader
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synopsis: abby teaches her an anxiety-ridden virgin girlfriend how to have sex.
cw: NSFW , abby x reader , smut , abby talks you through it , thigh riding , sub! reader , soft dom! abby , afab! reader , dry humping , use of pet names
masterlist
abby's been your girlfriend for a few months now, but you've been putting off having sex with her. solely because of your stupid nerves.
the thought of being naked in front of someone, then hearing your noises and seeing your face and touching your most intimate spots that nobody has reached before. it made you panic just thinking about it.
but abby knew of your fears. she was patient, and she cared about you more than anything on god's green earth.
so when your twice-weekly date came around on a friday night, something felt off. you'd been horny before, and usually you knew how to take care of it, but not quite like this. your legs were tingling and there was an ache where aches shouldn't be.
of course abby, being the observant girlfriend she is, noticed your squirming halfway through the movie the two of you were watching.
"what's wrong, baby?" she asks, looking down at you with a furrowed brow.
"huh? nothing." you respond quickly, crossing your legs and leaning against her shoulder.
abby knew better than to believe you, "you okay? you seem squirmy."
"i'm okay." you respond, a little too quickly. her suspicions only rose because of your soft and nervous tone, "just feel a little weird."
"weird how? you got a stomach ache?"
"no."
"then what–" she stops what she's saying, a shit-eating grin growing on her face, "oh."
you don't respond, biting your bottom lip and unsure what to do. you could sneak away to the bathroom to try to get off on your own. but you know abby has been waiting so patiently for this moment.
"youre horny, yeah?"
your heart sinks in your chest. it took you a moment to realize how she figured it out so quickly. she saw your squirms and the way your thighs flexed every once in a while, trying to create some friction for yourself.
she spreads her thighs apart a bit, creating a perfect manspread. she taps her lap, "come sit. let me take care of it for you."
"abby, i dunno.."
"baby." she says, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, "i promise i can make you feel so much better than your pillow can. c'mon, sweet pea."
you hesitate, nibbling on your bottom lip. your heart was in your throat, and you were fidgeting with your earlobe. one of your anxious habits.
she tugs your hand away from your ear, kissing your knuckles. she gently tugs you forward into her, "i won't hurt you, sweet girl. c'mon, honey." she guides you by the hips to straddle her lap. she rubs her thumbs up and down the soft plush of your thighs, "let me show you, okay?"
you nod, swallowing the lump in your throat. she takes her shirt off first so that you don't feel embarrassed to do the same. once she's down to her black sports bra she slowly takes yours off too, giving you time to stop her if you wanted.
but you don't, so she keeps going.
once the two of you are both in your underwear, her warm and bulky hands settle on your hips, "you okay?"
you nod, unsure where to put your hands. she notices this and laughs softly, "i'll walk you through it, okay?"
"okay..."
"tell me what you do to your little pillow when you feel like this, baby."
"i.. um.." you struggle to get the words out, your cheeks red from embarrassment, "i put it between my legs."
"hmm.." she hums, "then what?"
"i like.. clamp it there."
she plays with your hair, her entire hand embracing the side of your head, "and it makes you feel good? riding your little pillow?" you nod sheepishly, resting your head on her shoulder, "show me."
"what?"
"i want you to make yourself feel good. i know you wanna." she says, kissing your hairline.
"abby, i dont know how–"
she gives your hips a little squeeze, starting to guide you to grind on her lap. the cloth of her boxers rubs against the sheer fabric of your lacy panties, the feeling alone making you gush. you whimper as you feel yourself getting wetter. you're tempted to get off her lap so she doesn't feel the dampness coming from your cunt. she notices you starting to hover, so she pulls you back down. "don't be embarrassed. i want to see you feel good." she guides your hips to move a bit faster, and you moan in response, "can i touch you?"
you look at her, confused because she's already touching you.
she glances down at your crotch rubbing against her lap, then she looks back up at you, "down there, sweet girl. please, honey. wanna feel how wet you are."
you nod, your nerves starting to dissipate.
she snakes a hand down your stomach, her fingertips sliding into your panties. when the pads of her fingers meet your folds she groans, "oh, baby... you ever been this wet before?"
you shake your head, rubbing yourself against her digits.
"there you go, grind down just like that, mhm."
her words of encouragement make you speed up a little bit. she beams at you, so proud that her girl is finally comfortable enough to let her feel you in such an intimate place.
"gonna go inside, okay?" she says before slipping two of her fingers inside your sopping cunt. you moan at the intrusion, your movements switching from back and forth to up and down.
abby chuckles, kissing your cheek. she's so happy that she can finally see her baby in this light. on her lap, a moaning mess, "you're so pretty, mama."
you smile and open your eyes to look at abby. she pecks your forehead, rubbing tight circles around your swollen bud. you clean around her and she pulls you closer so your chest is flush against hers. she knew you were close before you did, guiding your hips to bounce on her fingers faster.
when you finally come undone you mutter tens of 'thank you's' into her ear. you'd made yourself feel good many times, but you'd never felt quite like this.
"thank you, abby." you whisper to her.
she nods in response, "no need to thank me. next time you feel like that, you come to me, m'kay?"
you hum in agreement, closing your eyes and starting to drift to sleep.
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