#its literally not a big deal to want to kiss someone youve been going on dates with

[ellecansee]

When you have grown up surrounded by money, literally counting it all every saturday from 15 to 17. Hungover, trusted and learning.

Not only do you understand the value of money but more so, why stealing never helps. You feel bad afterward, its never yours. There is always mo r e to go around.

When my mums husbands family stole a spotted bra and undies set from me and then stole perfume and money from my aunts. It was a big deal. I just couldnt believe someone would take used bras and undies (from me). They just never returned from the clothes line, one day.

It said a lot about them. Those jumaquios. More of a pain in the neck than paying for actual taxis or walking wouldve ever cost us. I wouldve gotten my drivers license sooner. But he taught other people, just not me. Then when my aunts irish husband came to live with us and offered to teach me, i had given up on the idea of d riving a car cos i lived in the city. Its just what happens when your mum tells you alll about royalty's things and then you spend time with actual money. Counting it, smelling it, unwrapping it, playing with bundles of it. Agonising over it. When you cant balance. Vomiting in the sink, hungover from a few hours ago but trusted with 70K to unbundle and balance.

Its a character building exercise but it is also, a value and gratitude you dont want to hinder from a community that is giving you a lot. Just by being themselves and not anyone else.

Like me then, with a job. To balance. Im sure Thai people, would say they feel the same about having me around. Were balancing. Since nothing is free.

But when youve already drowned, been burnt, been kissed and shoved into circumstances you didnt ask for. Profiting off your stories, is too much.

Budapest metro, 1973. From the Budapest Municipal Photography Company archive.

[kaz11283]

Of Course I'm Here

Characters: Come on you know by now how this goes (Loki x you) (Team x you, platonic)

Warnings: None. And really if you ever see anything that I might need to able as a warning please let me know... I'm the person who forgets there are people out there that get offened by the word F*** if that is an exapmle of anything.

Summary: Mid battle and the avengers keep looking for an answer as to why the God of Lies hasnt showed up yet. Of course you have no idea but at least he proves them all wrong.

ANNOUNCEMENT TIME: hey guys Im back, I know it hasnt been long but I also know I havent been posting every single day like I was, i got into a weird little funk where I didnt want to do anything, I was just feeling completly drained, and I felt bad because I have my little and I didnt even want to play with her because I have just been so TIRED, but I'm feeling better. Work has been kicking my ass here lately and ive been working over 50 hours a week so ive literally been coming in, eatting / feeding the little, getting us ready for bed, and crashing as soon as she falls asleep. But im here now. I will probably be more active on weekends than during the week because I have more time to spend working on stuff but I will be posting also during the week just not daily. At least until after state comes. Thank you so much for the reblogs, likes, comments, follows, and messages please keep them coming! If you would like to be tagged please ask or message, and requests are open. Love you guys so much! 💚💚💚💚💚

Loki Masterlist

~~~~~

"Y/N, BACK UP I NEED BACK UP! EYES IN THE SKY!" Tony yelled from above, you and Clint stood back to back on a roof top shooting as many bad guys as you could. Clint took aim at another carrier, shooting at the engine causing the entire thing to blow up raining debris and hot metal around you.

"Damnit Clint! Farther away make sure they are farther away!" You yelled popping him on the head with an arrow before aiming it at the thing that was chasing Tony.

"Where is lover boy at? You.sent him the location right?" Nat asked into the com.

"Yes I sent him the location, no I dont know where hes at." You mocked.

"Did you send him the right location?" Sam asked.

"One time, one dam-"

"Language!" Steve chimed in causing everyone to groan. Gun shots where ringing all around you and you could here metal on metal paired with Hulk screams coming from another building over.

"Language." You mocked muting your com son that no one but Clint heard you. "I am a 26 year old woman, I think I'm old enough to cuss if I want." You drew back your bow and sent another arrow flying into another goon that had Nat trapped aginst a wall. She shot you a thumbs up before running off. You hit unmute on your com.

"Jesus, 26? Baby, you sure you don't need to be at a babysitter instead of on a building killing things?" He laughed.

"Dont worry Hawk, when we get done here I've already booked you a nice nursing home to be put into." You put your bow around you and stood on the edge of the building. "I need a better view." You looked round, the top of a taller building caught you eye. "There Hawk, we can cover a better radius from up there, get closer to the action."

"DOES ANYONE KNOW WHEN THE GODS ARE GOING TO BE HERE? WE NEED MORE HELP WERE GETTING TIRED AND OUT NUMBERED!" Tony came over the coms screaming.

"How do we get up there? Or do I even wanna know?" Hawk came to examin where you were talking about.

"Im jumping, you cant tell me that someone wont catch me." You shrug.

"GODS WHERE ARE TH- Y/N DONT YOU DARE JUMP!" Tony stopped and hovered right were you was standing.

"Then take us over there. We need higher ground, we cant cover everyone from down here." You crossed your arms.

"Where are the gods at y/n?" He asked again

"I. Dont. Know. Jesus you guys act like I'm suppose to be there keeper!" A simultaneous you are came from everone through the com causing you to roll your eyes. "Hes gonna be here I swear it! Now take me to the building or I jump. 1.....2....-" Tony grabbed you by the collar of your jacket and flew you to the building.

God these things were everywhere and you were starting to run out of arrows. After shooting another ship and causing it to blow you heard what was unmistakably pounding on the roof top door leading to where you currently was at.

"I have some univited guests about to join my party. Anyone available for some assistance?" You yanked out the two emerald green and silver daggars that your boyfriend had given you not long after you had started dating after throwing your bow around you.

"Buy some time kid, I'm on ground level right now but I can try to get up there as fast as possible." Bucky called over the com.

"Buy some time? Ok. I can do this. I work better from afar but a little hand to hand never hurt anyone, just easier to get stabbed this way." The first of the things busted through the door running straight at you. You jerked out of the way missing his staff by just a few inches. Quickly turning you flipped the dagger like Loki had showed you and stabbed him in his side causing him to fall to the ground before the next one tried to impale you.

"I have two daggers and they have freaking staffs! Back up! WHERE THE HELL AR-" you were interupted by static in the air and a bright light. The bitfrost had just opened up leaving to gods standing in front of you and taking out the remainder ofnthe bad guys. "HES HERE! I TOLD YOU GUYS THEY WERE COMING AND THEY'RE HERE." You pulled two extra coms from you pocket and gave them to Thor and Loki.

"Always a pleasure to battle beside you Lady y/n." Thor smiled takkng the com and putting it in his ear before taking off again.

Loki sauntered over to you and put his arm around you waist, you put the com in his ear as he rolled his eyes. He leaned down and gave you a quick kiss.

"You got a new outfit." You smiled at him. God the way he looked in his battle clothe always did something to you, the horned helment was a plus.

"You like it." He smirked down at you pulling you closer.

"Your wearing your horns to." You reached up and brushed a peice if hair behind his ear.

"STOP. STOP NOW. WE CAN HEAR EVERYTHING AND ITS GROSS." Tony yelled causing you both to roll your eyes.

"Quick run down, bad guys everywhere, no end in sight, and I'm out of arrows pretty sure Hawk is too." Loki waved his hand over your quiver making more arrows appear.

"I see you had to use your daggers. I am sorry for not being here. Are you hurt anywhere?" He asked stepping away from you to examin you.

"Small cut on the side, nothing I havent dealt with before, Ill be fine. You go make sure Hawk is fully stocked up and help the others. I got a birds eye view of you right here." I leaned in kissing him one more time before smiling at him and pushing him away. He kissed his two finger before placimg them over his heart and you did the same, "always." You both said before he disappered.

You could hear Thor laughing at the chaos going on and Steve trying to direct the god of thunder on what to do. You had learned earlier to just let him do his own thing and he would be fine. Tony was still trying to micromanage everything when you heard Loki mumble something in an old language and his com cut out. You had figured it wouldnt have stayed on to long though but at least you had tried. It had calmed down up on your end so you decided to finally go back down to where Clint was at shooting an arrow with heavy duty rope you glided back down next to him to watch what was going on.

"Hello, earth to y/n." He snapped his fingers in front of your face. You had been to busy staring at Loki and that damn helmet. "I dont even understand why were friends." He rolled his eyes propping up on the ledge watching as the rest of the team secured the last of the bad guys.

"Because we both shoot arrows, because we are both the best in the team, or because we both know we are the best looking one on the team so we have to stick together." You laughed jumping up so you could sit on the ledge.

"The birds can come out of their nest now." Bucky called over the coms causing you both to sigh.

When you and Clint had reached the bottom you walked over to Thor theowing your arms around the big goof ball.

"You are amazing during battle as always." He beemed patting you on the shoulder.

"As always? Thor youve only fought with her twice." Steve said beside you.

"I had a week off. Went to Asguard, spent time with the boys. Someone had to keep them in line." You shrugged like it was no big deal.

"She was amazing!" Thor went on telling the story of the fight you had all gotten into.

"Mothers been asking about you by the way dear. Wants to know if you've decided to come stay for a while." Loki leaned down and whispered in your ear.

"I think I'm leaning toward a yes. I can't stand being away from you, you had been gone forever this time." You reached for his hand as you both walked to the quinjet.

"I was making arrangements to have our room redone. I figured you would come with me." He gave you a knowing smirk as he reached up to take off his helmet.

"Leave the horns on. I have a suprise for you when we get home." You pulled his hand away from his head and smacked his butt.

"You are a little minx." He laughed chasing you into the jet while the rest of the team groaned and rolled their eyes.

"Even if you wasnt moving i would be kicking your ass out! I am so sick of the PDA between you two." Tony hollared after you.

"Leave them alone Tony, they are courting. Im just glad my brother is happy and not trying to stab me." Thor clapped Tony on the back.

~~~~~

Tag List:

@kgirardin

@sophlubbwriting

@supbeeches

@high-functioning-lokipath

[mistymark]

the boyfriend one. [mark]

part of the NCT boyfriend series // mark lee // 0.9k

all round cUTIE

tackles you in hugs as a way of greeting you

but because ur smaller than him, he just kinda, envelopes you in his arms

smells really good

not a big fan of pda around the other members or in general really, so prefers lowkey chill dates

most of the time y’all are just watching a movie on the couch or going out for breakfast

movie nights (whether ur alone or w the other members) always end up with you sitting between his legs

kisses your shoulder when he gets bored, or when he doesnt think the others are looking

makes ugly faces or suspiciously glares at you from across the room

sHY BEaN

giggles into kisses one hundred per cent

when u first started dating he bought you a gift while he was travelling but later thought it was too sudden and was too shy to give it to you

kept it under his bed for months

finally gave it to you after y'all had been dating for like a Year

“do you like y/n” “no” “you’re dating” “still no”

likes lying on his bed with you against his chest and playing with your hands

really appreciates it when you nap with him

he claims he sleeps better with you

lets you accompany him to the studio but he becomes such a giggly MESS that you eventually just wait in the room outside so he can Get His Work Done

is constantly humming tunes in your ear

the Distracted // Subconscious type when it comes to affection

like,, he makes such a big deal about not showing pda in front of the other members,, but when he’s rushing out the door with his shoes half on and his hair a mess, he’ll quickly peck your cheek and leave

comes up behind you to read over your shoulder while eating and subconsciously back hugs you

like doesnt really think about it he just wants to be close to you all the time

loves comparing the size of your hands

“mark we know you’re dating y/n” “jskkjhg PSSS WHA- no way! they’re ugly”

does NOT think ur ugly

literally thinks you’re god’s gift to the world he thinks you’re stunning

when you get dressed up he’s literally speechless

the hyungs love to tease him about how whipped he is for you

when he’s sleepy he’ll draw shapes on your skin with his finger

SLUT FOR HAND HOLDING

uses lame excuses to hold your hand

holds your hand under the table at restaurants when you're out with the members

classic date lover; dinner and movies, mini golf, diners, etc.

he’s into that shit

takes 100 dumb selfies with you and keeps them all

even the blurry ones or the ones where he's blinking

probably texts you dog memes throughout the day when he’s bored

literally has his phone on do not disturb constantly so never remembers to text you back but makes a fuss when you dont respond to his texts in 0.3 seconds

whispers sweet nothings into your hair when ur cuddling

talks about the future with you but in a dumb sense like

“how many kids do you want” “mark-” “im thinking no kids but 200 dogs” “mark-” “NO BUT THEYD BE SO CUTE YOU CANT GET RID OF THEM”

LotS oF giGGLinG

his phone password is your birthday

it used to be his birthday but the members kept guessing it and hacking into his phone so he changed it

lowkey they know its ur birthday but they all think its so sweet and they dont want him to change it

talks about how much is mom would love you

loves lending you his clothes

because when you return them they smell like you

constantly trying to get you to sleep over at the dorm

brings you coffee or you bring him coffee

knows your orders for ur fave restaurants by heart but would never tell you that

buys you watermelon flavoured lip balm ;)

loves it when you ruffle his hair

makes a lot of sex jokes but PANICS if you ever respond with a flirty comment or something equally suggestive

doesnt care when u take sneaky pics of him like when ur just chilling or doing mundane things like grocery shopping you'll just snap a pic and he's chill w it - u keep them all bc he's super cute

y’all probably have folders of pics of each other sleeping

laughs at EVERYTHING you say

literally never sad when ur around

smiles at you whenever you look at him

tries to make you let him buy you things even though you always refuse

“COME ON ITS NOT EVEN EXPENSIVE Y/NNNNN”

shy forehead and nose kisses

mostly bc someones looking

“god I really want to kiss you right now”

happily will watch any movie with you but will talk through the entire thing

“what is she doing? why is she doing that? doesnt she know-”

can easily find you in a crowd

u have a dumb nickname that he made up and its ur contact name in his phone

he thinks its so clever and laughs whenever u roll ur eyes at it

sends u vine compilations that youve already seen 48586 times bc theyre literally 5 years old

uses ur face as a reaction meme but he doesnt know what a reaction meme is

all nighters where you just tell stories about things u did as kids

“one time when I was five-”

needs ur help with online shopping bc he cant do it himself

literally thinks ur a genius

overall hes a blessed boy and he deserves the world uwu

[puckinghell]

Liquid Courage | Tyler Seguin

Requested: Ask and you shall receive :-) Words: 2570 Note: This is kinda a part two to A Drunk Tongue, but could be read as a stand alone. 

You stand in the middle of Tyler’s living room, which is filled to the brim with people. The music is loud, as is the sound of people chattering, and alcohol is flowing. It’s a pretty regular occurrence, that Tyler’s house looks like this.

And yet, something is wrong.

It’s not that you’re seemingly the only person who’s drinking water. That is a regular occurrence at Tyler’s parties, too. He always insists on you coming, and you do, because that’s what best friends are for, but you’re not a big party person and this time around, you can still remember the taste of tequila in your mouth from last week. Your roommate’s birthday celebration got a bit out of hand, and you ended up on Tyler’s couch, although you had no memory of how exactly you got there.

No, your feeling of doom has more to do with the host. Your eyes find Tyler, standing at his kitchen island, a glass of whiskey in hand. Someone whose name you don’t know is talking to him, but he’s barely responding, and you’re pretty sure he’s not hearing a word of what his conversation partner is saying.

Sometimes you worry about him. You know he throws parties often because the house is awfully big for one person; it’s the same reason that he invites you over for dinner multiple times a week - although your cooking ability, and his lack thereof, might have something to do with that as well - but he’s never looked so alone during one.

It’s something about the hard set of his jaw, the dark circles around his eyes, the way his fingers are clenching the glass of liquor a bit too tight. You’re not able to put your finger on it exactly, not able to pinpoint it to a specific feature, but you feel it with every fiber of your being.

Something is bothering your best friend, and he’s dealing with it on his own.

You put your glass of water on the side table next to you and start making your way over to him. You almost trip over Cash, who looks at you with tired eyes. The house might be too big for just Tyler and his dogs, but his dogs certainly think it’s too small for parties of this size.

“Hey,” you mutter, resting your hand on his back as you maneuver your way to his side. He looks at you, recognizes you, and his face lights up.

“Y/N!” he says, and the slur in his voice tells you he’s more drunk than you thought he was. Tyler handles his liquor a lot better than you, and you usually don’t really notice when he’s been drinking. Sometimes he gets a bit more giggly or a bit louder, but he never slurs his words and he’s always steady on his feet.

Not this time.

“You alright?” you hum. His change in demeanor is surprising you, the crinkles of laughter around his eyes amusing.

“Now I am,” he slurs, and he wraps his arm around your shoulders. “I lost you.” He’s pouting, and it’s cute, but you refuse to think about that right now. You have to remember that you’re a woman on a mission, and your irrationally large crush on your best friend has to wait until you’ve solved the mystery.

“You looked a bit lonely there,” you needle, and he frowns.

“Well, I couldn’t find you.” He says it as if it explains everything, and you curse your fluttering heart.

“I can’t hang around you all night,” you tease. “None of the pretty girls that are here would dare to approach you if I just clung to your side.”

His face falls and you don’t know why, don’t realize what you said wrong. Surely he was aware of all the pretty girls that are currently walking around his house.

“You’d tell me, if there was something going on with you, right?” you push, and his face softens. Then, he leans forward and presses a kiss to your forehead.

“Sure, baby.” It’s not a pet name he uses for you often, and you feel your cheeks flush red. His arm falls away from your shoulder as one of his teammates approaches him and you take the opportunity to slip away from him, and make your way to the bathroom.

You know he’s not telling you the truth and it bothers you more than you’d like to admit. You’re at least 90% sure he’s lonely. He has his dogs, and his teammates, and you, but his family lives far away and he’s not been in a serious relationship in years. He’s getting older too, and although he hasn’t mentioned a family of his own, you see the way he looks at his teammates’ kids, at kids in the stands even, and you know he’s ready for something more serious.

As a best friend, maybe you should be a better wing woman. Maybe you should be setting him up on blind dates with your hot and available friends. It’s just that the thought of him with someone, anyone who’s not you, makes you feel dizzy with nausea.

You use the bathroom and wash your hands. When you throw open the door of the bathroom and walk back out into the hallway, you’re met with something solid and warm, and two strong hands grab onto you and pull. Tyler stumbles back, his back hitting the wall, as he pulls you with him.

“Wow,” he breathes. “I’m a bit wobbly.”

You giggle. “You mean drunk?”

He doesn’t answer, and that’s when you notice that he’s close enough for you to feel his warm breath against your skin. You step back, his hands drop, his smile disappears.

“Ty, do you think I should be setting you up on blind dates?” You blurt it out before thinking it through, and you can tell it was too sudden an outburst from the confusion that washes over his face at your words.

“You, I, what?” he stammers. “Blind dates? God no.”

You cross your arms, your stubbornness shining through. “Why not? Don’t you want a girlfriend?”

He seems to think about this, as he leans back against the wall more comfortably. The silence is getting tense, and then he finally speaks. “I want a girlfriend. But I want something very specific.”

You hadn’t expected that. Your heart sinks; whatever he wants, you’re pretty sure you could never keep up to his standards. On one hand, you don’t want to hear him say it, but on the other hand, maybe hearing it from his mouth will finally give you an opportunity to move on.

“What is it that you’re looking for, Ty?”

He stares at you, his golden brown eyes searching your face, and then he pulls his bottom lips between his teeth and you feel like you’re going to faint. Maybe it’s the atmosphere, the noise of people in the background, the sound of music behind thick walls, maybe it’s how close he’s standing or the fact that the suit he’s wearing is tight in all the right places, but maybe it’s just that it’s Tyler and you’re pretty sure there’s never been anyone who means as much to you as he has.

“Y/N,” he says then, softly, “you know when I picked you up last week, and you were drunk out of your mind?”

It’s not a memory you’re proud of, and you feel your cheeks heat up as you nod.

“You told me that a drunk tongue never lies.”

“Okay?” You don’t get where he’s going with this, but as he reaches out to place his hand on your hip, fingertips featherlight against the fabric of your jeans, you decide not to question his drunken train of thought.

“I need you to remember that I’m drunk right now,” he mumbles, and then suddenly he’s leaning in and your heart is beating out of your chest. He stops right before his nose touches yours, and his breath is hot against your lips, and your eyes nearly flutter shut without your permission, but then you look up in his warm brown eyes and all you see in them is truth.

“Why?” you ask, whisper against his mouth, and he smiles.

“I’m looking for you.” He closes the gap, his lips soft against yours at first, hesitating, but when he realizes you’re not pulling away, his grip on your hips tightens and his tongue sweeps across your bottom lip. You let him deepen the kiss, allow your hands to travel up to his neck, your fingers curling in his hair.

He pulls away slightly, only just enough to disconnect you lips, as you struggle for air.

“Ty…”

He doesn’t let you finish your sentence, instead kisses you again, passionate from the start this time. You barely notice that he’s moving you towards his bedroom, surprisingly steady on his feet as he kicks the door shut behind him and pushes you towards his bed without breaking the kiss.

You fall back onto the covers and he follows right away, his body pressing yours into the mattress, and when he starts pressing kisses against your jaw, you come back down to earth just long enough to realize what’s happening.

Tyler’s drunk, and probably lonely, but you have no excuse. Well, none other than the fact that you’ve been in love with him for like a year, but no excuse you’d actually be willing to tell him when morning comes and he realizes he made a mistake.

“Ty…” you bring out. “Tyler, stop.”

He freezes instantly, clambers away from you so fast it’s like he’s been bitten by something. His hair is starting to curl at the back of his neck and the top buttons of his dress shirt are unbuttoned - you can’t remember you doing that, but you must’ve - and he looks so handsome that every fiber of your being is screaming at you to just do it, just go for it, deal with the consequences later.

But this is your best friend and you can’t lose him over one night. Even if that one night would most likely be the closest to heaven you’ll ever get.

“You don’t want this?” he asks, his voice tight, and you notice the hurt in his eyes. It nearly brings tears to yours.

You reach out and take his hands in yours, and you see the tension leave his shoulders. “I do,” you whisper, “but you’re drunk, and when you’re sober, you might regret this. I don’t think I can deal with that, Ty.”

He shakes his head feverishly, crawls back towards you and moves either leg on one side of you as he cups your face in his hands.

“Look at me,” he says sternly, and you do. “I want this, I want you. I’ve wanted this for a long time.”

“But…”

“Y/N,” he interrupts, and you let him, because you’re not even really sure what you were going to say. “I love you. I was sober yesterday and I loved you. I’m drunk now, and I love you, and I’ll be sober tomorrow, and I’ll still love you.”

His words are so honest, so forceful with truth, that you can literally feel your defenses crumbling.

“Let me show you,” he mumbles, and he kisses you again. You don’t stop him this time. Instead, you let him show you.

You wake to the sun on your face and for a few seconds, you’re confused about your surroundings. That’s when you notice a hump of brown dog against your legs and you realize you’re in Tyler’s room.

And that’s when the rest of the night comes back to you. You blush at the memories, remember Tyler’s skin against yours, his voice in your ear, his lips against your neck; it’s almost like he’s right there again.

Except, he’s not.

“Where is he, Marsh?” you whisper to the dog, who doesn’t even move an eyelid to acknowledge your question. You can feel dread starting to take over your stomach.

You were right. He did regret it. And he ran.

You step out of the bed then, ready to get dressed and run away from confrontation, ready to take your broken heart and lick your wounds in the peace of your own home. You find your jeans, but are somehow unable to find your shirt, so you take one of Tyler’s.

If he can stand the thought of ever facing you again, you’ll bring it back sometime.

Marshall jumps off the bed now, scratching at the bedroom door. When you open it, the Labrador darts down the stairs, where two more Labradors stand, excitedly wagging their tails. You tiptoe down the stairs and quickly pet the dogs.

It’s a mess downstairs, empty glasses scattered around the room, even one lonely shoe in front of the couch. The owner of the shoe, at least, has found his way home.

That’s when you smell burning.

Curiously, you make your way to the kitchen.

“Hey baby.” The voice is surprisingly light and Tyler looks chipper and not hungover at all - which is just unfair, considering your state last week - as he stands at the stove, wearing sweatpants that hang dangerously low on his hips and a white shirt, his curly hair a mess. He’s holding a pan, waving at the dark grey smoke that’s hovering above it with his hand.

“What did you do?” you ask warily, and he chuckles.

“Tried to cook you breakfast. Forgot I can’t cook to save my life.”

Cook you breakfast?

Your mind is working in overdrive, and that’s when he frowns.

“You look like you just saw a ghost. You okay?”

He’s acting so normal, like last night never even happened. You knew he was drunk, but surely, he wasn’t that drunk? Surely, he didn’t…forget?

“Do you remember?” It comes out as a high squeak, your voice shaky, and his eyes widen. He throws the pan in the sink as if it’s not smoking like a chimney, and stands before you within two big steps.

His eyes are blazing as he looks at you, his voice forceful as he speaks. “Of course.”

Your cheeks must be the color of actual tomatoes by now, but you can’t back down, you need to know, need to know if yesterday was the best or the worst decision of your life.

“Do you regret it?” You hold your breath as you finish your sentence.

He doesn’t respond right away. “Do you?” he asks then, tentatively.

You shake your head. You don’t. You can’t. Not even if it ruined the best friendship you ever had. Last night was everything.

 And that’s when a smile breaks out onto his face, a smile so bright it could light up even the darkest of nights.

“Me neither,” he hums, and then his arms are circled around your waist. “I was right,” he states, and it’s your turn to frown.

“Right about what?”

He grins. “I told you that I’d be sober, but I’d still love you.” His forehead comes to rest against yours. “I was right. Still love you.”

You let your eyes fall shut. “You said, yesterday, that you wanted this for a long time…”

“Been waiting on you.” One of his hands travels to the hem of your shirt - his shirt, really -, slips under there, rough fingers against warm skin. “I guess I just needed a little bit of courage to tell you.”

“A bit of liquid courage?”

He laughs. “Exactly.” Then he kisses you again. When you pull away, you smile at him.

“Hey, Ty?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you too.”

[strawberryspeachy]

K. I know alt stands for ASSITANT language teacher

But 2 things. 1) assitants fucking DO THINGS

2) the way they sell this job is like youre a teacher.

Constantly in this job i am treated like a clown.

And im gonna tag this and im probably gonna receive the same comments i get irl from rose tinted glassed ‘japanese people can do no wrong’ people

Thus far ive worked in 4 junior highs and 3 elementarys

Most of the teachers no matter where they are just seem so incompetent

Its no big deal that the teachers arent fluent in english - isnt that literally why alts are here??? So why don’t they ever take advice?!???

Im so fucking sick of being told how to speak my fucking language.

And not the ‘speak slower’ ‘speak simpler’ thats fine and ill accept criticism on my ability to communicate to people learning english as a second language. Not that.

Grammar, pronunciation, sentence structure - and what sounds natural

I hate the videos that are made for classrooms. And the fucking books

“A native speaker wrote it” - k no. Having worked here i know exactly how that went down. A japanese person wrote it, then went to either a business kiss ass ‘japan can do no wrong’ person. Or. Bullied someone into saying it was good by doing that annoying ass thing japanese people do

Where they ask the question over and over with “ok?” At the end. Cause they dont want an answer - they just wanna be told that theyre right or to do whatever they want. And they do not plan on receiving any answer besides “youre correct”

Its awkward cause ive literally been annoyed at my friend in the past for complaining about having a job where she does nothing and gets paid. Now i feel bad because i HATE going to work to sit and do nothing. But honestly - it has more to do with the fact that of all of my schools - only 1 has given me a nice place to sit.

Not a table that they store junk on and pretend to be surprised by me everytime im there like “oops sorry theres all this stuff (but like youre not a real person and we hate that youre here so just be happy we tolerate your existance and tell is your happy to have giant things all over your desk literally sticking in your face)”

Not the extra desk behind the printer that blows dust in my face as it goes off every 20 seconds

Not the desk under the aircon blowing on me/ in the corner next to the coldest window/door

Not a literal broken chair

Not a desk in the path of the class files where teachers have to constantly get to the spot directly behind me

And i was also that person thatd say ‘well if you dont like it - quit - theres plenty of people who WANT that job’

But like it fucking sucks. Cause i have experienced REALLY good teachers who actually team teach with you. I have had one school where i worked full time and got to see my students more than once a month - hence being able to actually get to know them and want them get better. I have been at a school with wonderful staff who welcome me into the school like im an actual person - not like ‘oh is today already the day we let the rat in the school to make the children smile again. Ugh.’

It fucking sucks. I linger on the hope of being able to work at a good school with good teachers full time

I cant find a better job because im a ‘beginner’ and corona

And im stuck getting treated like shit

I AM NOT a kiss ass. Never have been. It kills me to have to work with people who dont want me around

Most of the teachers i work with ARE NEVER PREPARED like wtf why??? Why dont you EVER plan ahead??? When im not prepared its because i have to wait to get instruction from you - you get to chose what you do

And they do basically nothing (not all like ive said ive worked with good teachers)

But most just

Read the book OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN. The students memorize the book passages - they have no clue about the context and if you ask them the same exact question but with a different subject like “do you have any shoes” instead of “do you have any bags” theyre lost. The teacher can get them to answer by saying the exact phrase from the book - but they dont know what theyre saying or how theyre actually answering. They just have it memorized

Then some teachers will have “conversation practice” where they take those exact sentences out if the book - put them together to form an awkward ‘conversation’ and then the students just read it.

Ooohhh look at them. Having a conversation!

Play fucking bingo.... why? They dont even make the students repeat the words for pronunciation practice - why the fuck do you play bingo everyday

Sing songs. UGHHHHH yea that could be fun if these 60 year old teachers would stop forcing shit from the 1940s on the teenage students. I cant decide if music too old for 30 year olds is worse or teachers who take japanese songs that have been translated into english is - lol you fucking hate english so much you cant find ONE english song to sing??? WHY are you teaching english?! - god forbid you let the students choose

Teachers who just give the students the day date and weather....??????????? Cool. Youve managed to ensure they cant come up with the simplest of fucking English questions on their own. Do you carry around those cards to look like you do a lot at your job when you dont? Oh yea probably

Because being in a school watching teachers is the way i learned that japan values looking busy over being productive. If you look stressed and busy all day - you are better than a person who got shit done but looked relaxed.

Why do you use the recordings when i am in the class?????????????????????????????????? THATS LITERALLY THE ONLY REASON YOU APPARENTLY HAVE ME THERE

K and like i said. I have worked with good teachers. In their classes the students are better at english (hur hur funny how that works) those teachers encourage the students to talk with me. Those teachers let the students try to come up with answers and questions on their own. Those students try and ask the teacher when they dont know how to say something to help with translation.

The shit teachers on the other hand - will jump in and stop a student who looks excited to try and trying to figure out how to say something. What does this teach them? Dont try. Just stay silent - the japanese teacher will just talk in japanese again soon - no need to try.

Jumping off that. Students who are good at english or go to juku - will dumb themselves down in classes with shitty teachers. Theyve learned its not good to know more or even nearly as much english as the teacher - pretend you dont understand. Pretends you don’t know how to say things - itll make my stupid teacher feel good. So. If i try to talk or do anything in those classes, even the students who understand will stop trying.

Speaking of just going back to japanese. WHY IS MOST OF ENGLISH CLASS IN JAPNESE???? Most of the teahers will jump at ANY chance to switch back over into japanese. English is just sprinkled into the class. Then they pretend to wonder why the students dont try and why theyre bad at english

And things ive been told in the last year

Dont ever be upset about anything ever

Lol yea just that for one

K but dont ever be upset about teachers doing ANYTHING because theyre just so GOSH DARN BUSYYYYYYYYY

Lol like intially i thought that was why ASSISTANT was in my title. I THOUGHT we were supposed to make them less busy by helping out with planning and grading and blah blah

Nope cause

‘Oh offer to help them! BUT dont be upset when they decline because theyd have to explain to you ANYTHING and.....’

So. Im a child?! I cant be trusted to do anything without proper instruction

Well yea exactly cause

“Oh! Hes probably your babysister haha! Japanese people are so nice! They usually have one teacher look out for you and help you with stuff - besides the head teacher- lol theyre kinda like your babysitter!<3”

K. So like. I need a bachelors degree for this job. Let me say again I NEEDED A COLLEGE DEGREE FOR THIS JOB. i had to move ACCROSS THE WORLD by myself. I have to ge able to fill out federal documents and find a house and pay my bills and follow foregn laws and figure out my way in a foregn country - but i need a BABYSITTER at work?!?!?!?? If im a minute late ill be docked an hours pay. If i do ANYTHING that slightly upsets ANYONE and japanese ppl are offended by EVERYTHING - i am liable for all reprucussions. But. I need a BABYSITTER.

Cant be trusted to be in a class alone (dont be offended its because your not a certified teacher) that would make sense except that YALL THROW ALTS IN WITH THE SPECIAL NEEDS STUDENTS ALL THE TIME - thats supposed to be an EXTRA certification on top of teaching. but Im too fucking stupid and untrustable to do anything with regular students alone, but because you dont like dealing with spefial needs - i can teach them alone.

You dont actually read their hw or check for correctness and most of their tests are just for fun it seems - but i cant be trusted to grade those either

You do the exact same lesson everyday and i only see each class once a month - but dont let me create any activity or lesson for them. Also dont tell me your plans until class is starting and then change it throughout the class and act surprised when idk what the fuck youre doing because you changed your mind while talking at them in japanese

Speaking of changing. I hate teachers who constantly change how they do shit. And again. Get annoyed at me when i cant follow their flow. Do i say hello first or do you? Are we even saying hello today? Am i asking how they are or are you? Are we letting them answer? Are we answering? Whose asking the day date and weather? Are we asking them for the day date and weather?? Whose saying goodbye? Are we saying goodbye? Which bingo version have you chosen today? Are they repeating the words? Yes? No? Am i saying each one twice? Do i have to spell out the fucking word today? Fast? Slow? What hell are you putting me through today

And when they ask me to take charge of an activity. But then change their mind. But then no no you go ahead please take charge. K no just kidding ill tell you and them what to do. Actually no you can keep going please be in control. K no too much english i wanna hear more japanese ill be in control - hey everyone thank the alt for doing that activity with you (me and the students look at each other visibly confused)

These teachers will ask me a question and no matter how i answer its wrong. I always answer shortly initially because... of course. But theyll tell me to GO ON!!! theyll keep doing that. So ill start answering questions with substance - then theyll cut me off - so i go back to answering shortly but NO! CONTINUE!!! im constantly caught confused exactly what they want me to say and now i barely ever tell stories to the students. I stare at the jte the whole time trying to guage by their face if i should keep talking or make it short. Its also awkward cause sometimes they jump in to translate and other times they want me to just keep talking in english with no translation. Regardless whatever way i choose is never correct and they always look at me like im an idiot

Yesterday a teacher did one of the things inhate that prompted this I WANNA WRITE ABOUT HOW MUCH I HATE THIS JOB

Hes a sub. Hes supposed to do the same lessson as the other teachers. He is NEVER prepared. And he does everything bad. So when he didnt have the stuff for the activity he said he wants the students to have conversations with me. GREAT! thats what im here for! Lets do it. So then he shows them videos he has of other students talking with an alt at another school for 5 minutes. Um.... k. Then we open the book to a page of 3 example convo starters. Except. Japanese teachers dont seem to understand that the book is meant to be EXAMPLES. he says ah like this but maybe change. Good ok! I think were on the right track. Lets read these examples and get to it. Nope. He has them have the example sentences with their partner saying its good practice.

No. Its not. Theyre just reading the book and then when they finish saying

“Do you know any good restaurants around here?”

“Yes i do! Theres a curry place over there”

“oh i love curry!”

Theyre not gonna make up more at the ......

Theyre just gonna talk in japanese about other shit.

Then he says ok lets have conversations. Finally

Nope.

He has the class repeat after him together as a unit to me “do you know any good restaurants around here?”

GFFEIWBAKDHWNDGDIEBS RAGEEEE

I said ive had convos in class before may i try like before

He feigns confusion

I ask a student “what kind of food do you like?”

She says sushi

“What kind of sushi”

The students in this class were excitable and chimed in each time.

This time (as usual because they dont know the fish names in english) She begins talking with the kids around her trying to figure out what the english word is for the sushi she likes

But the teacher jumps in and shuts it all down

Because the students are just way too shy to talk in front of the class. Their english is too bad. They cant.

Its extra aggrivating because the teachers at this school range from good to decent - except him. That was a second year class. The last time i was at this school the first years had a introduction 1 on 1 test - with me. And i was to ask them a question at the end. With the other 3 teachers when i asked the question if they didnt understand. I would try saying it in another way. If they still didnt understand - i would answer my question as an example. If they still didnt understand i would give them answers like

“What tv do you like” “do you like anime?” Wait for yes or no “do you like youtube” wait for yes or no (and so on)

If they still didnt understand (very few got here) the japnese teacher would translate the question)

And. If they still didnt understand. We would give them an answer and coax them into repeating after us.

If they didnt. Then they didnt get the point for answering the question.

This teacher. Him being the 4th teacher to do this test with me. Would IMMEDIATELY translate the question if the student didnt answer quickly after me asking it once and then talk to them in japanese and tell me their answer or make one up to me with something like “oh ahah they dont know when yet. So he doesnt know. Maybe he ate breakfast before school!” And then would shoo the student away and call in the next.

^^^ and this is how most teachers are

They sit during class. They play unrelated videos. They spend half the class acting like theyre too confused about their plan to even teach the class (but if i try to do ANYTHING like talk to a student while they sit in front of the class rummaging through their folder going “うーん」 「じゃ」「じゃあー」「そして」「それから」「えーとー」 theyll instruct SOMETHING or play some recording over and over) have i mentioned how they never seem to want to talk in english or listen to students talk in english in english class?? Most of the time theyre just having aside conversations about nonsense in japanese. They read everything themselves despite me being there - in a way where they really just wannt hear themselves talk in english.

Just in general. I hate when teachers talk about me in front of me and dont tell me what the fuck theyre saying. And it’s annoying when students ask them stuff in japanese about me and then the students look at me waiting for me to respond/the teacher to translate their question- but the jte doesnt translate. Or they ask a question that im not in charge of the answer for so even though i understood the question they asked the jte i cant answer them because its not my decision and the jte doesnt wanna look like the asshole that gives them an answer they dont like so they just dont respond so that i look like the dick whose ignoring the students

They do this with regular questions too. Sometimes i hear the whole question and understand. So when the students look to me and the jte goes silent - i answer - then the jte gets all out of sorts because 1) they wanted me to look like an asshole who doesnt wanna talk to the students 2) they deemed the questions not important and didnt want it answered 3)ew! The alt knows more japanese than i thought and she knows what im doing and thats a little embarrassing also what else have i said in front of her today that she might have understand - awkward 4) oh no if students know she understands some japanese they might ask her stuff and i wont be the only means of the alt and students communicating 5) that awk silence just showed the students that i didnt plan to translate something to her and i wanted to blame her and say she doesnt wanna answer that but now i was made a liar of

These arent personal queations btw. For example a student asked why does the guy in one peice eat a lollypop in the america version instead of smoke a cigarette?

This is an incomplete liste. Just. Honestly being an ALT is draining.

I feel like im at a restaurant again just waisting my life away waiting tables.

I actually really like english so being forced to listen to people who are supposed to teach it - purposely teach it wrong and force me to use it incorrectly hurts

I hate watching people suck at their jobs....and be rewarded for sucking at their job

I hate feeling like an outsider in my workplace.

I wanna feel like a real teacher.... not a clown

I hate doing something where nothing i say, do, or feel matters.

That last one. I hate that i can be treated like shit in my workplace AND get in trouble for not thanking people FOR treating me like shit. Not just take it. Take it with a smile!!!

I try to focus on the good things... but its just so damn hard cause ther far and few between and honestly i just wanna feel like im actually an educator to my students and like i can actually be a teacher with the ones who like me and come talk to me and stuff. But its not like i have have a teacher student relationship with them - i cant be part of their school activities. I cant go to their school events. I wont be at the school with them for more than a year.

Even at good schools when the teachers like that you talk with the students - i always feel this vibe of ‘keep it superficial’ dont become an adult they would trust. Its like you can feel them watching - ready to jump in when they think the student should stop petting the stray before they get fleas

I have a lot of teachers i remember fondly. Who id talk to when i saw them even when i didnt have their class anymore. Id tell kids in grades below me that they were lucky if they got them. When i hear about things happening at the school after i leave im happy to hear they got something good. Teachers who helped me understand something better or were just nice to the obvious loser in the class or made me laugh

I wanna be one of them....

Not the police man that came into school a couple times. Or the guy with the birds. Or the nice lunch lady who let you take food when you didnt have money and pay it back the next day.

I wanna be a teacher with a name.

Or at least. Do one of the only things im actually good at

So this job is unfulfilling

[trouvvaille]

[[I want this here for reasons... i love this so much, and it needs to go on this blog]]

vvicissitudo hey meen hey did u see im on for nearly fivve days noww

brackishbarracuda im proud tbh

vvicissitudo yeah? i feel accomplished

brackishbarracuda how long have I wanted u to interact w ppl istf

vvicissitudo i mean i wwouldn't call this accomplished but i feel that wway

brackishbarracuda I do shut up

brackishbarracuda don't actually shut up

vvicissitudo ahaha i lovve you i aint really TALKIN to people offerin idle comments maybe

brackishbarracuda it's a start

vvicissitudo yeah yeah it is am i uh doin good

brackishbarracuda you could stand to loosen up a bit

vvicissitudo yeah true but u kno me prickly af they gotta get thru the hard shell first

brackishbarracuda it helps when you give em half a chance

brackishbarracuda they aint gotta b best buds right off the bat u can b a casual friend

vvicissitudo u really think im bein TOO prickly

brackishbarracuda i just want u to have a chance to get out more clams

vvicissitudo i like wwhere im at

vvicissitudo besides most a these guys they aint gonna be here in six perigees

brackishbarracuda casual friendship enjoy em while it lasts get a decent conversation an if they dont come back oh well

vvicissitudo i guess so hmm but half a them aint replied to me or commented on my followw

brackishbarracuda so let it go and start another one later ppl got lives

brackishbarracuda whats up w u tho

vvicissitudo listenin to music up top lookin at the wavves s gonna rain not storm i think just rain

brackishbarracuda u wanna go for a swim when it starts

vvicissitudo shore its alwwavves nice

brackishbarracuda what uh

brackishbarracuda I mean we ain't talked reely much

vvicissitudo do wwe gotta?

brackishbarracuda and I got quads commin outta my ears

vvicissitudo ahaha that u do wwhat wwould wwe talk aboat me still feelin shitty ovver the other night? cause thats a thing

brackishbarracuda we aint gotta

vvicissitudo there aint much i feel that needs t be talked aboat

besides the wwhole thing ww... that.

i feel guilty

is it my fault?? wwhat can i do for that

but uh

other than that, nah. storms an rain an wwavves are good

talkin about that spill earlier tho got me itchy ZZ3B\

brackishbarracuda ive been takin deep breaths and movin em

vvicissitudo yeah

does that help

brackishbarracuda no

vvicissitudo tried pourin spring wwater dowwn my neck

felt nice but ddn't wwork

brackishbarracuda I just been tryin naut to think aboat it sometimes they ain't wanna open and I half panic for a second also it ain't ur fault also what do you think about the bouys 38/

vvicissitudo thats terrifyin to think aboat

noww i gotta open mine up an check em

ugh

wwhat you really think so?

an uh, wwhich bouys

brackishbarracuda yeah u didnt force her hand she fucked up an she shoulda been straight w him and i tried to fuckin tell her that but no an the clowns

vvicissitudo They're good. I aint too much talkin to em yet Tho uh.

Wwhich clowwns

brackishbarracuda clams the two im datin zee and arlequin

vvicissitudo I kno that... Just wwondered

Theres a lotta clowwns U kno i nevver paid much attention to em

brackishbarracuda would u

vvicissitudo Pay attention? Noww, yeah, I'm startin to

brackishbarracuda theyre good people

brackishbarracuda an i want u to be a part a all a my life vvicissitudo

i wwant to be part of it all a it i didn't followw any clowwns before an noww that i do

its hard

vvicissitudo i keep seein the text, the wways they talk an i see you happy an i feel bitter aboat me because you're my happiness u got a full house im glad for u

brackishbarracuda nearly anyway

vvicissitudo i just hate myshellf rn its nothin that

vvicissitudo its nothin to wworry aboat itll pass

brackishbarracuda i alwaves worry aboat you

vvicissitudo i hate wwhat loz did meen i hate it i think i'd rather havve just had one heartbreak to deal wwith i didn't evven get any closure i got to kiss him once i got to hold him as he fuckin died along wwith you an wwhere does that leavve me

vvicissitudo in limbo wwaitin wwonderin wwheres my makara wwheres my red wwheres the one wwhose gonna fill that hole an then i see ur makaras an i feel terrible cause i don't

vvicissitudo want to get to knoww them because i knoww ill just get hurt an i knoww they aint mine evven if i wwant them to be part of this family an its part a wwhat i posted aint no one talked to me last night i mentioned arlequin once in his owwn post

vvicissitudo that other captor  nevver replied to me evven after i said somethin that other ampora, the wwhiny one he liked posts datin back a wwhole swweep an pike a hundred posts besides im trying, i swwear for you but i dont my heart aint in it i dont i don't knoww wwhat to do here anymoray

brackishbarracuda you keep tryin

vvicissitudo been almost a wweek a godamn record that ivve been on doin social things

brackishbarracuda an im proud a u for it

vvicissitudo i got you thats al i got its all i wwant

brackishbarracuda an im tryin my damdest to help u change it

vvicissitudo i aint wwant to be hurt no more meen

vvicissitudo prince or princess charmin is comin to me this tide i wwanna knoww ur makaras but not ovver social media i wwanna knoww em wwhen they're ovver for tea or  sleepovvers or meetin the kids or meetin me

vvicissitudo it feels useless. *i* feel useless

brackishbarracuda you dont want to know where id b without you

vvicissitudo youd be sadder

vvicissitudo probubbly givven up by now

brackishbarracuda id be dead

vvicissitudo wwhat about ur cro

brackishbarracuda what the fuck about him

vvicissitudo wwould he havve found you or wwould you havve been dead beshore then

brackishbarracuda long fuckin before then

vvicissitudo wwhat wwould havve happened i can see u runnin urself into the ground

brackishbarracuda runnin myself into the ground bitin off more than i can chew gettin pissed and sad and naut havin a good enough reason to naut do stupid shit

brackishbarracuda every single tide you patched me up every single tide youve found me when i was low every tide you talked me outta somefin or made sure i was safe i mean fuck clams you saw what i looked like w/o u for a fuckin perigee

brackishbarracuda efin if id never met you you know how closed off i was how angry id have gotten into a fight i couldnt handle burned myself from the inside out

brackishbarracuda itd a been the oil clams

brackishbarracuda efin if naut literally cept thered b nobody to clean me up to carry me home to show me what the fuck home /was/

brackishbarracuda i wouldnt a had the kids oar you oar vis

brackishbarracuda you are fuckin necessary

vvicissitudo u wwouldn't havve evven had loz wwould u i i just realized that it wwas cause a me you met

vvicissitudo wwasn't it the first big thing wwas wwhen tavv tried to "help" me

brackishbarracuda i woulda had rez and fangs and they woulda left me and thats it

vvicissitudo yeah. wwhat about noww

brackishbarracuda i aint efin shore i woulda had sally

vvicissitudo pike are you happy noww

brackishbarracuda all i know is i aint happy w/o u

vvicissitudo awwww

brackishbarracuda youve literally saved my life so many dam tides mine and sallys and the wrigs does that sound useless to you

vvicissitudo you an the wwrigs are the only ones wwho seem to appreciate me yes, you're the only ones wwho count really an truly u remember wwhen u took me to that play

brackishbarracuda yeah

vvicissitudo an they stood in a roww an thanked us personally for comin i wwant that i wwant it all the tide i wwant people appreciatin me i tell people im wworkin on somethin to make helmsmens livves after the helm better i get "its impossible"

brackishbarracuda that aint a good example clams u kno how hard it is to accept good shit when it aint in your hand

vvicissitudo i tell people im a docterror an a chemical engineer an i get "so wwhat else do you do" i tell people im a reader a wwriter

vvicissitudo a pacifist an i get blank stares an topic changes i get fivve note threads on this hellsite an then nothin thats howw it alwavves goes

brackishbarracuda did u think for a minute that maybe ur just ten levels above everybody else an they aint kno how to talk aboat that shit

vvicissitudo i mention my name an people are pike "who" an i gotta say "eridan" before they realize an then they assume wwrongly a me i aint wwanna be smart if it means no one wwants to talk to me

brackishbarracuda ur doin good shit clams bc ur smart

brackishbarracuda bc a whats happened to u and who you are

vvicissitudo am i a good person

brackishbarracuda betta than me by a long shot

vvicissitudo wwhy i dont wwant to be better than u i wwant to be ur equal

brackishbarracuda then get me to where u are and dont u dare lower urself for anybody

vvicissitudo > You're stunned into silence for a bit.

brackishbarracuda i aint the best person in the world i aint that smart

brackishbarracuda im shit at p much anyfin that aint kissin somebody oar fightin em you aint

vvicissitudo or makin someone feel good aboat themselvves u do a damn good job of that

brackishbarracuda shut up for a second that aint the point

vvicissitudo im cryin AND laughin ill havve u knoww

brackishbarracuda good 3B* point is you deserve a crown more than i ever have

vvicissitudo wwhhat

brackishbarracuda you can patch ppl up and help people w real cod dam problems w real applications you kno history and all that shit you read you write you study ur in ur lab u work hard too hard but u aint a useless bump a log

vvicissitudo but you aint wwanna rule

brackishbarracuda do i look like i could manage anyfin close to rullin rn by myself

vvicissitudo that aint the point u don't WWANNA rule

vvicissitudo period do you??

brackishbarracuda why do you think i asked dirk to let me do political shit

vvicissitudo but wwas that because u foresaww this convversation or because you wwant to

brackishbarracuda its pike i told him im tired a runnin

vvicissitudo yeah?

brackishbarracuda yeah

brackishbarracuda idk wtf good is gonna come outta it but

vvicissitudo i can name good

vvicissitudo u bein by my side me being by ur side are you sure u wwanna do this last chance to back out u knoww

brackishbarracuda i aint got nofin to rule clams its kinda far from a last chance but yeah

vvicissitudo alright then

vvicissitudo so uh wwhat rule wwhat the wwhole planet?? this uh provvince, this continent, this bit of planet wwe call home i mean theres things wwe gotta think of

brackishbarracuda hb we just start w the bit were on yeah

vvicissitudo so wwe need to get scoutin parties together to see HOWW big it is an if anyone else livves on it an if anyone else livves on it then we gotta dispute

vvicissitudo buy their land rom em in exchange for goods or services a emperor aint bein servved hes servvin others pike wwe provvide food or electricity an they trade us

brackishbarracuda clams calm down

vvicissitudo ideally rn wwe feed their family/take care a their land in exchange for their servvices in helpin us scout out- wwhat oh

brackishbarracuda do u kno how many tides i had to retype clams calm bc lemme tell u

vvicissitudo uh oops

brackishbarracuda too much at once aight lets just

brackishbarracuda keep our shit to ourselves baby steps yeah

vvicissitudo babysteps yeah ideally this thing wwe livve on is only an island otherwwise wwe got barriers to wworry about pike cae said

brackishbarracuda either plan on defendin what u got or be ready to run right i aint runnin

vvicissitudo i lovve u <>

vvicissitudo u an ur beautiful soul

brackishbarracuda i love you too

brackishbarracuda <> <><><><><><><><><><><> aight im done im good thats outta my system

vvicissitudo thank you for listenin

brackishbarracuda you aint quaded to me for my looks 3B*

vvicissitudo damn right im quadded to u because of u