#so cool to see other ppls process

[mysteryanimator]

Watch it here :D

(heads up for any odd grammar, Grammarly cannot save me from my dyslexia)

I was originally not going to do a breakdown of this because a lot of my breakdowns and thought processes were getting really repetitive (also i was getting embarrassed by them HAHSDASHBDS). BUT boy oh boy this time around I can actually go "wait i can yap without being repetitive here, maybe, idk, we never know until i write it out."

STORYBOARD/ANIMATIC:

It was really fun to adapt AquliaofArkham's fic into a visual format! This is the specific section I had set out to visualize!

(Yes I only did thumbs for that section and freeballed the rest whoops, y'all do not follow by example, i didn't think i was getting this far tbh)

When translating this from written to visual, there were some key points I wanted down:

They are really really close to each other and the barrier between each other is SO thin, but the air is still super thick

visual eye breathing room compressed???

Is having stillness a way to convey that ???

We are following Mizrak's POV, ergo focus on what Mizrak is focusing on, where is his mind going

hold shots for longer???

limited movement due to Mizrak's hyperfocus???

Make shots intentionally heavily detailed ???

Zoom into details???

As much as I am passionate about storyboards, I do tend to get ahead of myself and end up locking myself into lots of close ups HAHAH. I like having each shot matter to me a lottttt so i end up reverting to reusing a lot of super common shot archetypes due to their attached meanings (I'd love to attend/watch some workshops on this, but uni ;-; i'll be free soon dwdw).

By the way, you will notice the animation is longer then the timed storyboard/animatic. This is because I retimed to placeholder dialogue (which y'all will NOT HEAR THATS EMBARRASSING, i dont need ppl to hear me yell clatter lol). Fun fact I originally had it in the first storyboard to help me with timing and then removed it half way through? Not sure why I did that, but regardless I came back around and retimed it so that the length of each shot feels believable enough to hold dialogue and has enough time to be visually digested by you guys.

ANIMATION:

This was a doozy, not because I found the animation hard, this time I actually was satisfied-ish with most of the end result and started implementing different approaches to the animation from all kinds of media; which was my issue LOL. My understanding of animation changed midway through. I can super distinctly see two different approaches, probably because I slipped into that naturally while having animated shows/movies while doing this and I can probably pin point to you which shots was influenced by what show.

First all dialogue and walking forward: rewatched TLOVM b4 season 3 dropped, which by this point is already out, (uh also Nocturne. again HAHAH)

WHICH, you'll see here, two different set ups were taken LOL (also oof you're seeing my setup). Personally, I like keeping my animation folders to the utmost minimum (so like the right! Olrox's folder is a whole character, separate moving bits like lips or even earrings will be in that one folder) because scrolling through can get a tad overwhelming and daunting, BUT, Olrox walking forward had so many small moving pieces with different timings that multiple animation folders was the best way to handle itttttt.

I feel like I only really care abt this BUT FILE MANAGEMENT IS IMPORTANT AAA. You should've seen my file management this time last year, actually horrific, but I'm so glad I figured out how to be cleaner, in turn speeding up my process. (which honestly was just thanks to being thrown into a studio environment and going "Oh my god so that's what I should be doing" and picking up things I noticed from other animators, which genuinely my learning comes from picking me up and throwing me into the deep end)

Secondly, Olrox arm and a scrapped walking scene: I was watching Prince of Egypt (literally that whole week, planning to rewatch again lmao), Sinbad, Road to El Dorado, and then work from Modernday James, Toniko Pantoja, Edward Kurchevsky

Fun fact, the very first walking was intended to be animated, and i redid it about four times before scrapping it completely. The first three iterations i didn't save because they were sooo clunky . It made me realize I gotta revisit my principles again I'm rusty (and i do LOLOLOL). I scrapped the anim because it did not flow into the next shot nicely but, It was good practice regardless HAHA

While mentally I feel like none of the shots match each other, they still do have some cohesion to one another

COMPOSITING:

The new thing, finally manually did the edge shadows in CSP HAHAH.

I will say this too, I got really nervous atp about the overall "quality" of the anim + the backgrounds. I was getting super hung up over it because I was alr worried abt the animation due to the safer choices I made (but also, I don't have to reinvent the wheel LMAO). SO, when I got to comping it was like "oh actually its actually fine LOL".

i stayed pretty sketchy with these since i was getting way too worried about it and wanted this to stay as a fun side project, also these are without comping- they become way more purple with compositing LOL

I feel like here too I ended up doing less then what I normally do, which I think mighttt be on part to finding more efficient ways to go about compositing things together (and faster too).

Also, I definitely got pushed into trying to lower the layer amount when I saw a tweet about layer efficiency/layer stacks and them mentioning applying Mattes and CC Composite. Actually a godsend, I didn't realize I could combine my effects like that to lower the amount.

Also, I swear no amount of precomping can save me from this. There's probably a better way to go abt this um LOL, everyone is getting a peep at my file management.

Also, I'm realizing I could've done a tad more with the actual composition itself, like the placement and movement of Olrox in the scene where he's walking forward. For now I have to leave it, because also, the intent for this one was to have fun rather then making every anim an exercise or else I'd burn out so fast LOL

Side tangent but, I've been digging my heels into the animation school club workshops on youtube rn due to having a moment with the scrapped Olrox side walk. Which holy shit, things have clicked for me, so I'm going to try and do more rough exercises b4 i do another finished anim again. It turned a light bulb in my head LMAO, and it pushed me to do the recent maria anim and mizrak and olrox kiss which has a massively greater understanding of timing and confidence LMAO

Ok now this is To Love a God finished! Another animation done :DDDDDD I'm super happy to be adapting a fanwork, it's always really fun and super exciting to bring other people's stuff to life, which what made this more enjoyable then anything else.

Will I do another polished anim before next year/before s2? Time will tell but for now i rest and speed to finish another semester of uni (there is a high chance for another anim because of a joke tweet i did not expect to get traction lol)

Thank youuu if you stayed this far, this was really lengthy and i think i went into different unrelated tangents, so i hope you enjoyed me pulling you into different directions HAHAHA

p.s i uploaded this to youtube and theres an age restriction BECAUSE OF THE FEET. Not because Olrox tells Mizrak he would fuck him, no it's his FEET. I've tried to appeal it but cant do much LOLOLOL

[sanstropfremir]

i was wondering if you already talked/like the jpop group psychic fever :) idk i feel like you'd like them but if not are there any jpop groups you listen to?

girl i have no clue what is going on with exile tribe i wouldn't even know where to start lmao. i do listen to a few of their units, including psychic fever, but it's mostly ballistik boyz just bc animal is my own personal crack. the occasional jo1 and ini song makes it into my rounds, but i'm mostly a jrock and j...indie? i guess? listener. queen bee and i dont like mondays are two of my mostly listened groups, plus a variety of other artists like taichi mukai, eill, fujii kaze, rung hyang, etc. highly recommend every queen bee song, idlm's black humor and fashion albums, and taichi mukai's the last album. and now im hijacking my own post bc this is now a psa about avu chan's boy group ryugujo!! genuinely fr the only boy group ever actually. highly highly highly recommend literally every song they have and their new ep just dropped last month!

other songs that fucking rip that are not just me linking their entire spotify page:

me linking their entire spotify page anyways:

also highly recommend watching their show 0 year 0 class, bc it is genuinely inspiring and enjoyable to watch someone actually want to teach trainees how to be idols and succeed. and not just how to be idols, but how to be better people as well. k survival shows could never and actually any other survival show could never. flawless 10/10 no notes avu chan i need you to take down the entire survival/audition show industrial complex immediately.

[itsalwaysdark]

i wish there was a way for me to likeee. semi change this one thingin this one mod. but 1 im not a modder 2 i feel like thats disrespectful. i just want sort of an inbetween between the game and this mod but that is not a thing that exist... sigh

[marblebees]

Ive started learning Japanese from an android

[deacf-coffee-is-a-sin]

neil gaiman is coming to a library near me with art fucking spiegelman😳

[midnightmischief10]

welp. i'm posting this unedited and EXTREMELY self indulgent pedro pascal x reader fic. i have more written, but i will only post the full thing if ppl are also as sick and twisted as me.

hope who ever reads this, feels a little more seen bc i am SICK (well not really HHAHAH) of all the pedro character ddlg fics!! i just wanted to write something more realistic? idk welp, here it is! (not in its entirety:P )

Si no te hubieras ido

pairings: Pedro Pascal x Reader

warnings: age gap, drinking, reader is in their 20s

getting to work on a set like The Mandalorian was a dream if you were being honest. no, you weren't some high end actor, or a famous director, just someone part of the production crew, doing things like planning, writing, hell even editing. you'd do anything to just be a part of a project like this.

interactions with the actors were also common in a job like this, but apart from just guiding them through certain scenes and how they should look, you really didn't cross the boundaries that weren't professional. It was really nice to admire them though. Getting the occasional chat with big shot superstars was so cool and always something to brag about to your family even though they weren't supportive of your career choice. You didn’t end up a doctor or lawyer like they wanted, but hey! You did something you loved.

It was honestly a very normal day in the workplace. You were working in the art department as usual, helping make sure the vision that the director wanted was really coming through. Being behind the scenes for such big projects like these was really something. Your admiration for the process really grew getting to do all the behind the scenes work, it was such a nice feeling seeing the thing you along with many others, worked so hard on being televised was something special.

You weren't the overly ambitious type, but the thought of directing something sounded really cool.

You continued on, designing what the director wanted on a few scenes we’d be working on in the following weeks.

Lost in your work you didn’t expect anyone to come up to you for anything, you weren't the art director so it wasn't usual for people to come to you. Unbeknownst to you, you felt a sudden hand on your arm, not roughly just to get your attention.

you look up and woah…why the hell was Pedro Pascal standing right behind you.

"uhm, I'm sorry to bother you, you seem busy, but I've been meaning to ask, would you like to go out for a drink sometime?" Pedro asked.

huh? what…the…fuck…?

it caught you off guard.

Firstly, why was Pedro Pascal even looking for you? Because I mean you? of all people he could ask something like that, it was you? A man notorious for not having any sort of relationship, at least not public, was standing here with you asking you to go out for a drink.

you didn’t even think about your response before the words fell from your mouth.

"oh..uhm…Is this some kind of prank?"

you dumb BITCH WHY WOULD U SAY THAT???

was what you thought immediately after.

In your defense, you were in disbelief because what the hell was Pedro Pascal, a very prominent and influential actor, asking you out for drinks? I mean the interactions you both have had were merely professional and work related so why?

he looked confused at your answer, maybe even a little insulted, which was not your intention.

"shit I'm sorry I didn't mean to sound rude I'm just in a bit of disbelief" you let out an awkward laugh to soften the previous response and got out of your seat to face him properly. how do you even respond to a question like that, you had no idea that's for certain.

He stared softly at you and started, "no I'm sorry, that was very sudden haha. no need to say yes I just wanted to see if you would." His response was genuine and he wore a soft smile as he did.

God, was he really handsome up close.

To be quite honest, you always found him super attractive. But he was the internet’s daddy so it wasn't just you who felt attraction towards him. And sure, you might've dabbled in the idea of maybe even going out with him, but you were realistic with yourself.

But here you are now. Getting asked out on a date with this hunk of a man.

You were still lost in thought, trying to reflect on what was occurring and what came out of Pedro’s mouth.

He spoke again, "Sorry, just forget it ev-"

"no no, I mean I'd love to, who wouldn't want to go out for drinks with you, I'm just not all that special ya know?" you were being honest. You weren't some super sexy model or a renowned actor, you were just some girl working on the same set as Pedro.

Also, you were much younger than Pedro.

"I'd beg to differ." he said quite frankly. He smiled that sweet and tender smile of his and you couldn't help but think, for an older man he was sure fine.

you were daydreaming again at this point when Pedro spoke again,"so...is that a yes then?" it snapped you back to reality. It was so odd to see him so nervous over something like this, but being in the know of most things Hollywood, everyone who knew Pedro also knew that he had social anxiety so it must've taken a lot out of him to even ask you out

your heart raced, “yea- yes, I'll go for a drink with you.” you smiled, but if you were being honest you were really nervous too. What exactly did he see in you? Sure you were kind and respectful, but that's how you were with everyone. Pedro felt way out of your league to even grasp the idea of flirting with him, I mean come on. Who would even think about flirting with an A-list celebrity, especially someone way way WAY younger than he was and someone who wasn’t on any level to him.

he had a huge smile on his face, he seemed so content. “Great, should I get your number while I’m at it?” He pulled out his phone and handed it to you. You slightly grazed his hand when he did and it caught you by surprise.

His hands were so big, and you didn’t realize till just then how much of a height difference you two had.

You put your name and number, your hands were trembling a bit as you did so.

“here you go. so…when should I expect that drink?” you tried being coy to play off the fact that you were actually freaking out.

he smiled and laughed, “what about tonight then?”

that was quick

“oh. uhm yeah sure, i get off at 5, would like 8 be okay.”

“Sounds perfect. I’ll pick you up, wear something nice.”

“Do I not look nice now?” you said sarcastically.

“No no, you always look great, I’d just like to see you in a dress.” He looked at you with so much love, his sweet smile still plastered hard on his face.

You couldn’t help but blush hard.

Has he always looked at me?

“I’ll send you my address then, see you tonight.”

“See you tonight.” and he stepped out.

what the fuck were you getting into

~~~~~~~

[maomaopilled]

"I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing it for the truth." -> a tgaa and asoryuu analysis rambling

so um hi. i have never posted on here before but i finished tgaa recently and im consumed by terrible brainrot. i have sooo many thoughts about it that i can barely process them all. then i remembered i have free will and a tumblr account so here we are.

anyways i can't stop rotating that one quote around in my mind. the one from ryunosuke in case 2-5, "I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing it for the truth." i have so much to say about these lines i just find them so interesting and i needed to properly write out all my thoughts.

massive huge tgaa 2 spoilers below you have been warned !!!

ive seen ppl interpreting this as some kind of angsty asoryuu thing which i don't really agree with personally (and i will explain why). the other interpretation i've seen is that it shows ryunosuke's growth because he originally wanted to be a defense lawyer to honour kazuma but now it's the path he's chosen for himself.

i do agree with and like that second interpretation... but i think it's also more than that. mainly because if it was just concerning ryunosuke's growth, it could have been an internal thought. it's important that he said it out loud and it's important for kazuma to have heard him say those words. i really think it perfectly captures the asoryuu dynamic in this trial.

firstly, i think it's obvious that ryu REALLY cares about kazuma and wants to help him. he even says he came to face him through everything as a lawyer and a friend.

and just before he says The Lines that we're analysing here, he acknowledges that kazuma has been waiting his whole life for this moment and tries to think of any way to find the truth. which shows he understands how hard this is for kazuma and wants to do whatever he can.

so ryu is definitely motivated by a desire to help kazuma, that's without a doubt. so then why does he say, "i'm not doing this for you. i'm doing it for the truth" to kazuma ???

in this moment they are facing each other in the court room as defense and prosecution. in this setting, there is nothing more important than the truth. which means being motivated by a desire to find the truth is on a much higher level than any other motivation, including helping your friend. ryu knows that the truth might be painful for kazuma, but he knows that it's important to uncover it nevertheless. and he knows that this is so much bigger than kazuma and it's important to find the truth for all of the people caught up in this terrible secret.

it would almost be a disservice to kazuma if ryu said that he was doing it for him. because kazuma is important to him... but what is more important is that ryu would do the same in any situation and in any trial. no matter who was involved whether they were people close to him or not, he would always pursue the truth above all else. kazuma saw that for himself in case 2-3 (even though he hadn't regained his memories yet) he saw how ryu never stopped chasing after the truth. that's what gives ryu such integrity as a defense lawyer and that's why kazuma can put his trust in him.

this is their exchange before ryu says "im not doing this for you. im doing it for the truth"

you can see how emotional kazuma is and pleading with ryu that the trial can't end yet. this is an emotional trial for kazuma and it's clear that his emotions are clouding his judgement. when ryu says "im not doing this for you" he is saying that he isn't letting his personal feelings for kazuma cloud his perception of the truth. it's like he's giving kazuma a reminder so he doesn't stray too far off track. i would also say that maybe kazuma was aware that he might not be able to keep his cool during the trial and part of the reason he wanted ryu to be there is because he trusted him to keep him on track.

it's like ryunosuke is saying to kazuma "you can trust me. i know this is difficult and emotional for you but i will be a steady force that remains objective and steadfast, never faltering, and always keeping you tethered"

for kazuma this is the culmination of years of grief and rage and sorrow and confusion. he's like a ship out on a stormy sea and by staying calm throughout the trial and relentlessly pursuing the truth ryunosuke acts like an anchor for kazuma.

this does lead them to the truth in the end but it wouldn't have been possible without kazuma and ryunosuke putting their trust in each other. kazuma wanted ryu to be the defense, trusting that he could see this trial through to the end and uncover the truth no matter what. kazuma has been doing it all on his own for so long that trusting ryunosuke like this is a really big deal.

"I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing it for the truth."

by never wavering from pursuit of the truth above anything else and remaining objective, ryunosuke proves that he is worthy of kazuma's trust. and if kazuma can trust him, that means he doesn't have to do this on his own anymore. which is the most special gift that ryunosuke could possibly give him.

[alphaketoglutaricacid]

shuro notes

upon rereading some of dungeon meshi, I got a better grasp on his role in the story and why hes in the main supporting cast along w kabru (main protag of the suporting cast), namari, and mithrun (main antag of the supp cast) . Contrary to most of the characters disliking eating monsters, he seems to dislike eating, period. In his first appearance he refuses to eat maizurus cooking (with maybe some mermaid eggs sprinkled in..?). His refusal to eat ties into his extreme passivity. He seems to dislike how his father does what he pleases with no regard to how it affects others, and his fear of doing the same seems to play a huge role in how he lets other ppl walk all over him. He ignores his own desires, including his own hunger, because consuming means taking another life. To live means something else has to die, so to desire is to want to take from others. To try to live up to the image of an impassive leader he tries to not participate in this process at all! But bc hes a human being he has to eat, so instead of never taking from others, he starves.

With Falin, I think he realizes there is a way forward where he could be himself and face the ugly realities of what it means to want. To be unabashedly yourself while not hurting everyone in your life. His love comes from a deep place of admiration! I think part of the reason why he's so dead set on saving her is bc he wants to be her equal—she saved him from his nightmares without a second thought, and part of it is to repay her kindness and to be able to reciprocate it. I think he foils nicely w marcille bc he proposes to her (asks her to choose her future) while marcille doesnt want her to move on from the time they were both children. I think this plays a huge part in why marcille hates him, bc its a reminder of how the time will pass and also he aims to take falin away from her. Interestingly, she also became fairly distant and withdrawn after falin left and they both formed their relationship w her bc dirt and bugs r cool. They both are the party members in Laios squad that fly off the handle the most. Socioeconomically, they both seem to be in the least dire straits and kinda prissy abt things as a result. On re-read something else clicked into place.

After his fight w laios that starts w legit grievances and devolves into him hitting all of laios’ insecurities like a game of whack-a-mole, shuro says he’s returning to his home country and after that he would never see any of these ppl again. Even before falin got eaten, he knew he was going to have to leave the party but couldnt bring himself to tell them. The way the convo goes, it seems part of the reason why he proposed to her so suddenly is bc he wants to take a part of his time on the island back home with him—i.e. that hes not ready to say goodbye. That the prospect was taken from him so suddenly is why this is the first thing hes asked for or wanted for himself. Interesting parallels to how marcille is not ready to live the rest of her 1000 year life without her friends now, and how falins death is a catalyst that brings her fear to the surface—that for both of them, theyll live the rest of their lives never seeing the ppl they love from this island again. I think part of the reason he is so nasty to laios in particular is bc his entire worldview falls apart at laios' actions

Both desire wise and literally, Shuro is starving. And like a starving person getting his first meal in a long time, I think he gets a little greedy—when he gives Laios the bell, he says if the party somehow makes it past thistle, to ring it so they can all escape to the East--where he's headed. Likewise marcilles solution is to bring everyone with her to the 1000 year lifespan. Thats surprisingly childish of both of them! Also not a solution to the problem that suits anyone but themselves. Theres so many solutions to this. He could write. He could call. He could communicate view morse code using that bell instead of attempting to blink in morse code to communicate to laios how he doesnt want to be here. Falin voice: I’ll go visit you, okay? He could set foot on the island again. Honestly. This is so embarrassing for him.

But I think it gets at a core theme of the work. Marcille, Laios, and Shuro all say their greatest desire is to save Falin, but once u get down to it, theyre pretty basic-to not be left alone, to be w monsters who u feel a kinship with, to not have to leave. Namari says she left bc of money but later on goes u must never let go of your fear. Kabru says he wants to get to know laios to prevent utaya from happening again but its much simpler-he wants to be his friend. Our base desires are petty, but they are what keep us going day to day, just like how every living being has to hunger and eat to achieve the goals they set out for.

Lets talk abt his relationship w his retainers.

Hein- theyre childhood friends that have drifted apart in adulthood. By the familiar way she talks about him when hes not around, I think she wants to be close to him again. I think the distance between them is probably intentionally imposed by Shuro bc hes afraid theyll turn out like maizuru and his father. She thinks hes unreliable in a way i think u can only rlly get when u know someone for that long. I wonder if some of that I thought wed always end up together and I want him to like me even tho I dont like him back is wanting that closeness in friendship again

Maizuru- Good god whats happening here. she loves him but also treats him like a child even tho hes a 26 year old man. I think its got fun connections to how kabrus adoptive mom treats him like a child, how marcilles not ready to see falin n herself as adults, thistles relationship w degal. Now these are all relationships where differences in lifespan come into play, but w maizuru n shuro i think u see something real banal in why these elves cant let the ppl in their lives go. She coddles him bc she loves him and tells him at the end he doesn't have to eat the dragon if he doesn't want to, but he rebukes her and says he has to eat it to accept his own failures. So like he doesn't need to be coddled he needs ppl in his life to challenge him so he can grow. And at the end he realizes it tastes good--that even tho his journey had so much conflict and in the end he failed to save falin he made friends! He grew as a person! He starts reaching out to his retainers again! He got to harrass the elf cops and give them migraines! Ties a lot into laios speech to marcille that if falin didnt die they wouldn't have met all these ppl and gotten to eat all this food.

Its wild she put that hag curse on him. Poor kid cant even take a shit in peace. Actually the fact that he couldnt even have that time for himself n grew up constantly feeling watched explains a lot. I think the fact his father nonchalently burnt it and then roasted mochi over it without giving him any explaination made him think oh this is just what everyone goes through and im the weird one for being frightened. And it takes him 20 years to find out that no, its not normal to be haunted by a ghost that chases you with a knife. Pretty apt metaphor for how rules have defined his life without him fully understanding why they're in place. I'll give it a crack tho--it seems like the time period his homelands based on the sengoku period bc its a period of heavy civil war where ppl below upsurped the ppl above them. The strict hierarchy is probably an attempt to exercise social control in an extremely precarious situation.

Also side note: kinda impressive he can do magic when he was six. Probs a combination of maizuru being a talented teacher and his own skill. The fire cast… close but no cigar. Also interesting is how the magic he casts seems more elf-y in nature vs maizurus gnomic spirit magic. I wonder if hes his partys black mage- the occupation his party is pointedly missing vs the toudens missing their white mage and kabrus party being well rounded at all points. If so thats hilarious that when the toudens lost their previous mage and everyone was panicking he was like well… im just not gonna say anything #OnBrand. I do wonder if the bell he gives laios is his own magic tho.

Also shuros mother is mad at maizuru for being shuros dads mistress but gives her her children to raise…. Lets unpack this contradiction. Incidentally my tin foil hat theory is Shuros a bastard child. maizuru n his dad have been fucking since 4ever -> one of these children is not legitiment -> probs the one w a strange distance from the rest -> whys shuro succeeding his dad so up in the air when his competitions a 14 and an 8 year old. It's not important tho.

izutsumi + inutade: the fact that he doesnt speak up is his defining moment of moral cowardice. Its tied to his passivity! Hes scared of saying or doing the wrong thing bc hes afraid of hurting others, and he does basically attempt to torch his relationship w laios like it was contaminated w anthrax. Like the first time he tries to be active it went horribly, but his involvement moves the plot forward enormously—with him kabru would not have run into Laios, izutsumi would probably not have been able to run away, he raises the stakes of the journey by indicating they probs cant return to the surface so they have to keep going. And even tho its messy, ugly, and embarassing, he can still pick up the pieces afterwards. Nothing he does is as harmful as his passivity on inutade and izutsumis situations which unequivically, he knows is wrong.

Also w all the references to buying people, I looked it up bc i was like.... like slavery...? it seems to be a reference to retainership as a social caste where people buy your services and as a result you owe the estate your service. You get paid and you have rights, but it seems like you are bound to your station, but depending on the time period japan is supposed to reference, some ppl took on these positions for the sake of social advancement. Regardless, it seems the caste system is also less rigid than stated and ppl can move amongst the positions. There doesn't seem to be an exact cultural equivelent to this, but I think the closest concept is like, being a vassal. I was like if this is slavery this narrative portrays izutsumis time w the nakamotos too ambivenlently and hien going don't you feel any gratefulness for them taking you in makes no sense. But I still think theres something pretty rotten going on here.

Allegedly, as a ninja, you ascend the ranks based on your skill. And yet izutsumi and inutade are at the bottom, and hien, the person that was born into this role, is at the top! Izutsumi and Inutade aren't even considered human in the island of wa--this distinction is given to tall-men only. Theyre both from positions where I feel like the other characters are like they should be grateful they got from one horrible situation to this one thats a system based on merit and skill, but like out of everyone, theyre in the least position of power to say no, to even appreciate what other options there are for them in the world. Like its deeply coercive and wrong. Whats up w shuros father collecting ppl like theyre trophies man. So we can see a system allegedy based on merit is not one at all. Also I feel theres undertones of japanese imperialism with izutsumi being from the equivelent of central asia and having a soul of a child stuffed into her like some kinda of science experiment. Maizurus constantly trying to "civilize" her by teaching her ettiquite such as using your chopsticks. Like the rhetoric of the elves ape pretty directly to imperialistic sentiments, it would not surprise me if theres intentional commentary about japanese imperialism in how izutsumis treated bc japans kinda known in the east for their imperialism... theyve just done it so many times like my parents were like we left our families, our culture, everything we knew behind to go to america.... but we kept our death grudge against japan tho!! #lmfao. Honestly fair. anyways i think theres intentional parallels between how izutsumi is treated as both as a child and a feral animal by maizuru and how the elves treate other races as children that need toys taken away from them. But also how fundementaly, maizurus unsuited to take care of izutsumi bc the tools she has are not suited to izutsumis needs! She has no understanding of izutsumis life. Her hag curse turns from a highly questionable child rearing tactic on shuro to outright a slave collar on izutsumi. Teaching shuro ettiquate and being able to fight gives him the tools to survive in the postion he was born in but is erasing the culture izutsumi grew up in and has been taken away from before she even knew what it meant. Bc she was treated like a circus freak she never got to choose for herself! Tho providing the basic comforts to shuro is a privilage, it's not to izutsumi bc shes never been able to choose what she wants in life. It's why shes set up as shuros narrative foil like so:

This is his pensive look btw its a consistant tic that he lookes like hes glaring when hes deep in thought. Maizurus is both these people's strange mother figure who feeds them in liu of their actual mother. She smothers shuro in love and doesn't let him face actual challenges in life while she intensely disciplines izutsumi. Shuro reacts to this by aquiessing and never making demands of his own while izutsumi constantly refuses to conform. This is probably why he doens't get her.

In the early points of the story, shuro either says leave izutsumi for dead or leave her so she can pursue her freedom. The ambiguity is intentional, because i think in this part of the story we are not supposed to have a good read on him. But it's also because because of his passivity he doesn't do shit for her! So he loses out on having any type of relationship w her even tho they were tormented by the same curse. But crucially he may have learned from this w inutade, who he explicitly aknowledges how her situation is fucked up and her worship of his father is due to an insane power imbalance even tho he has no clue how to talk to her about this. And at the very end of the manga, he gets into an eating contest with her at her prodding as equals. So maybe there's hope he can do better. But I think its important that his relationship w izutsumi is non-existent as a consequence of his passivity despite the things they have in common bc theres no excuse for it. Thier relationship probs deserves its own post.

benichidori - very funny amongst all these complicated relationships these two just straight up dont know each other n r too shy to do so. Is what I was going to say but then I realized benichidori has taken shuros place as hiens closet friend and I wonder if theres any jealousy abt that. But also she shares a lot of traits w shuro and isnt that just interesting:

but even more interesting is her comic:

this is beat for beat shuros conflict w laios.

We only care about one thing: the crushing opinion of everyone in the universe.

I didnt get this on my first read even tho laios was like hes smart but he is incredibly sharp. Hes good at making useful deductions when things dont add up. It rlly reminds u hes trained in espionage.

He keeps kabru on his toes! interesting for such a smooth talker.

He gets kabru to open up about his motivations here and how it affected him and kabru actually shares some of his own feelings on the manner when usually hes holding ppl at arms length. I think him getting a chance to recite this helps prep him to talk to the caneries where notably, hes a lot more clinical about it.

Its nice all three of these ppl can challenge each other and support each other. I think it would be funny if kabru hits em up in the future like do u wanna start some shit for old times sake

able to tell chilchuck was not a child

is afraid of marcille which tbh fantastic call

Everyone else horrified marcille just killed a man but he's like yeah #tracks.

Other things that reminded me hes basically a fixer:

Spends his screentime evading the elf cops.

Refuses to talk to the canaries even under threat of being interegated for 50 years despite threatening laios party multiple times that hes gonna tell on them. instead spends his time going tbh i've never known anything in my life. I'm stupid like that :pensive emoji:

Incredible bit of manipulation on his part-he pretends to be thinking out loud to cast doubt on the canaries judgement to appeal to the ppl in the dungeon that are not motivated by the goodness of their hearts. Reminds me of namaris relatively selfish reasons for leaving the party--needing to get paid, which is a need she was ignoring for far too long and also laios was also not paying proper attn too when namaris in dire straits, and how she says she left the party after the dragon bc she remembered to never forget your fear. That selfishness must also drive you forward. Then he uses that doubt to twist the situation to say all their information could be false so maaaybe the situation is not as dire as they claim and they have other motives (social control). And he pretends hes talking to the caneries but this is directed to everyone else. He and namari pretend to pick a fight so the leader's distracted and everyone else uses this opening to scatter, which causes enough chaos that it breaks the control the elves have. Which is wild bc shuro knows the dungeon is dangerous bc kabru told him about utaya. He also knows laios party can be dangerous w the amount of collateral they cause w the dragon. He puts a lot of ppl in danger that do not need to be even though multiple times he worries about people getting hurt. At his core, tho, I think he wants to see laios and his party again and that selfish desire trumps everything else in this moment. Namari and shuro are so ride or die TBH.

He never shares any of this when not prompted. Except notably at the end he interrupts when ppl think laios might be dead. Which as an aside I think its interesting his biggest contribution to saving falin is not thru his fighting prowess, but through the simple fact he reached out to laios. His compassions his greatest strength. Laios frestrautes him and kabru, and they both punch him and complain that theyll never understand him, but I think they dont have to. Love requires compromise—it requires eating things you really dont want to, you clash and you hurt each other, but what matters most is that you keep reaching out to one another, that you keep on trying to understand each other. Living requires you to hurt and be hurt, to give and take.

Once again stuck in the middle of an insane and ancient beef

low key funny that he remembered the last time he was here and he was like u know what.... ill just sit this one out....

If my son told me he spent the last week pissing off the elf cops, Id be like yeah thats what the nakamotos are all about TBH

Theres pretty juicy stuff abt how laios is interested in shuro because hes exotic like a monster and his own relationship with being othered by ppl and the fact that shuro is constantly referred to as a foreighner even to ppl hes known and has risked his life for for two years + how to laios monsterhood is a type of freedom while being othered is a type of dehumanization for shuro + how hes trying to show some kind of solidarity to shuro but hes microagressing him thru his attemps + how laios just is being explicitly saying the racist beliefs everyone else implicitly holds just like how mithrun says other races are inferior races which horrifies the rest of the elves but its honestly what they believe but I'm tired and need to think abt it a bit more.

Why do shuro and his party from an island primarily composed of humans and other ppl sometimes not classified as humans but have similair lifespan bc of sociopolitical reasons imitate so many interracial dynamics despite being of the same race? It's to show how marcilles wrong about how the inequality between races exists bc of lifespan differences. Her own fears due to fantastical reasons of being a half-elf and unable to relate any of her insecurities to other ppl are not exclusive to her! Tall-men - Tall-men relationships run along the same lines and have the same conflicts. All the things she fears are things that make her human, that other people have also felt.

in conclusion:

think abt the messiest person u know. Its a man

jk its marcille #feminism

[itsoverfeeling]

I usually do a bit of a tumblr love letter on new years so allow me my soapbox... thank you to EVERYONE for supporting my work and silly ideas this year. I've been flitting through a few different fandoms so it's nice to know that hasn't purged all of my followers in the process lol.

this year, i did one or two things i suppose!! thank youuu to all my dear mutuals and followers and even the ppl I follow who won't see this post.. all of you are great.. this might be long, but allow me to mention some..

@possuminnit thank you for liking my art even when it's completely out of your ball field and for asking me to draw a character as an opossum bc opossum!geed is one of my fave drawings now. @churchydragon thank you for being one of my first ultraman mutuals as well as just a creature enthusiast in general!! @stickers-on-a-laptop I love the fics ive read so far from you and I'm very surprised that we became mutuals.. theres something about fic writers that makes me think they're too cool for me (I realize I am one). speaking of writers, thank you @lucksea for being very nice to me too!! I loved your art and thought you were an amazing taro understander and somehow it turns out you like my things too... I honestly still can't get over that.

@forbiddenpondrocks @shapeofallcosmos @miragethecat thank you for being powerful opponents during the boop wars.. I have not forgotten your ferocity... @akq96618 and @lovewhump thank you for liking my silly ultra drawings and comics.. my silly tregears and taros especially 😭 thank you @mrfartpowered for supporting my rc9gn stage, I still love seeing rc9gn on my dash, I had so much fun posting my art (honestly mostly for your reaction lol).

@lepidopteragirl my loyal mutual i will always honor you even if we are posting completely different things. @atthebell ive really enjoyed your posts, your writing and the way you articulate yourself is always so cool to read. and i love your fiber art works they're always so cute. @bandy-andy I KNOW WE HAVENT SPOKEN MUCH... whoops. but andy I'll never forget you man, you're number one!!

so many other people who i havent spoken with as much and haven't interacted with a ton but still so cool and such a joy to see on the dash. @belanova @unsat-and-strange @routeriver and @rachelsquill and others I wish I could name and scroll through my following list for but. it's so long 😭 I LOVE YALL THOUGH.. I love my mutuals and the regulars in my notes and my followers and the folks I follow.. i dont care if youre tagged or not, yall are the greatest.

I suppose I'll end this long ramble with a feliz año nuevo!! I'm glad we all got through this year :]

[speirslore]

when you get hurt hcs [officers + roe]

a/n: requested <3 usually in my writing the reader is implied to be a part of easy company in a vague way bc i know ppl have different preferences but some of these include getting shot (not graphic or anything) so ig that implies they're on the front lines

lmk if you would like to be on my taglist! @ronsparky @bcon24 @blueberry-ovaries @1waveshortofashipwreck

[dick winters]

you hit your head prettyyyy hard, and you're out of it, probably definitely concussed

it happens right in front of dick and he tries really hard to keep calm

he wants to be strong and level-headed for you

shows more obvious affection then any of the men have ever seen from him; pets your hair, holds your hand, is always by your side

he immediately gets you a medic and transported to an aid station and doesn’t want to leave you

but when dick's back with easy, he gets uncharacteristically easily angry and frustrated...

he gets quiet and withdrawn and a little snappy with zelensky and nix... and they both immediately know why

whenever he can go see you, he's there.. he even gets behind on all his paperwork (but nix offers to help)

which dick is hesitant to accept for many reasons, he feels guilty, like he's not focusing on his duties but lew is always good at keeping the reports concise lol

very fragile with you, he isn't underestimating you but he just absolutely does not want to push you or hurt you

is a stickler for the rules, follows absolutely everything the doctor says

he has to wake you up every few hours and you keep insisting it’s unnecessary and dick is absolutely not having it

you try to get up and move around and all dick has to hear is the sheets moving and he just gives you that stare, a little bit like a disappointed mom, and you're right back laying down

he’s way more clingy than usual, wants to be by your side, subtly holding your hand

in that moment it definitely hits him how much he loves and cares about you... he hasn't really had time or space to process those feelings until now <3

[lewis nixon]

it does not look good at first

it's really scary for everyone there, you loose a lot of blood and lose consciousness

lew is not there when you're first shot in the leg and everyone is very glad that he didn't have to see it

but when he finds out... oh he is not keeping cool, is not pretending even a little bit to be okay

starts lashing out and snaps at the driver who's taking him to the hospital to drive faster, mad that they didn't tell him sooner, mad that you were injured, mad at the war, furious at absolutely everything

lew has to be monitored by dick not to go full self destruction mode and get incredibly drunk

he hates just sitting with the constant uncomfortable feeling and reminder that you're hurting

he will not leave your side at first when you’re sleeping a lot, on a lot of medicine, and out of it

one nurse does approach him when he's the only vistor in the hospital left, "sir, the visiting hours-"

he just looks up, obviously devastated, voice cracking, "i'm can't leave. you can drag me out but i'm not going, thanks."

they back off after that

does go through a phase where he hates going once you're more conscious because he kills him to see you like that and face this feels irrational guilt he feels for not being there

because he definitely has the tendency to avoid his problems and things that hurt him

but it hurts you too and you don't fully understand

you look up at dick and harry, slightly delirious from the morphine, tearing up, "does he not want to see me anymore?"

after that they do drag lew to see you and you just straight up tell him feeling guilty is pointless and not fair to himself (or you)

and then it's right back to not leaving your side and always trying to make you laugh or smile

[ron speirs]

okay so i love the angel of the company x speirs trope

by now he's the co of easy and your relationship is a widely known secret...

he assigns you and the group of other men to a patrol... it wasn't an overly risky or bad order, a standard order from sink

but you guys make contact and you're shot in the arm

it just absolutely wrecks him

the guys feel like he's just going to go across enemy lines and find the soldier that shot you himself

the rest of the guys are furious too because everyone just absolutely loves you

for a short time, he's mad at the other soldiers on the patrol and you have to reminder him they didn't do anything wrong

but ron is really just irrationally mad at himself for not being there, for not being psychic, he's just angry he somehow didn't stop this

ron is not controlling and not possessive and he knows you can hold your own but he feels responsible for taking care of you and making sure you're safe

even if he can't quite articulate all of those feelings yet

he doesn't understand all the emotions he feels and doesn't even have time to try to understand them

he listens so attentively to the doctors, he can recite everything they've said word for word

like with chuck, he demands the absolute best from the doctors

this incident shows his more compassionate side and the guys start to see how much he really cares about you... bc they're protective of you too!

you have to comfort him and his voice breaks

and he feels weak and he feels bad that you're comforting him and not the other way around

"i'm messing everything up, doing everything wrong," he says more to himself but you frown, eyebrows furrowed and everything

"you're so hard on yourself, ron. when it's not your fault, it was routine, you didn't shoot me. then i'd be really pissed." you smile and he smiles weakly... but he's on edge for a longgg time after this

[carwood lipton]

unfortunately you and lip just cannot catch a break

your leg gets injured while he has pneumonia

it's not a major injury but a bullet ricocheted off of a wall and slightly grazed you and you need a few days of staying off of it

lip really tries to be comforting

and wants to be there for you and he is!

but it's very hard for him, he just wants you to be okay so badly, even when he himself isn't okay

trying to lecture you about staying off of your leg and asking others for help but breaking out into a coughing fit and then you're trying to help him sit up and to go get some hot water for him

and then he's back to telling you to stop and starts hoarsely calling for luz

it's a MESS

but carwood is a natural caretaker and has been one for most of his life

it makes him hover sooo badly especially because since he's sick too he doesn't have a lot of work to keep him busy

but you're not complaining honestly, it's nice to have more private time and something of a break, even if you're both miserable

you get the special privilege of an actual private back bed room with a mattress and blankets

kind of a bonding experience

you just laugh because what the fuck

it's kind of romantic, first time in a longgg time in an actual bed together

you just go back and forth talking about your future and the life you want after the war

"i don't like this wallpaper," you murmur into his chest

he laughs and that turns into coughing again and you're just rubbing his back trying not to bend your leg... domestic bliss <3

[buck compton]

buck... does not take it well

he takes it extremely hard

like his reaction to joe and bill...

you have pneumonia and the peniciln you need isn't available in bastogne

and it's even worse that he finds out you're sick only a few hours after that and that you've been sick and struggling for the past few days

maybe his reaction would've been different earlier on in the war

but now, it just feels like a destructive domino effect that's sparing no one

it's obvious after all of his friends injuries and your pneumonia that he couldn't stay on the front line... his red bleary eyes and slightly trembling hands said enough

when he gets taken off the line, you're both in an aid station together for a few hours before you're both transferred to different hospital

so his presence is silent reassurance

you want so badly to comfort him but you're so sick and he doesn't want you to, he feels so guilty leaving you

but you hoarsely tell him he needs a break and to process what happened

you're feeling slightly better this day so that makes it a little better... but not that much

both of you have been through hell

but there is a light in the tunnel... or at least you feel that way

buck isn't on the front lines anymore and you both have a chance at a life together post-war

he does not want to leave you, it has to take a lot of malarkey's coaxing him and promising to update buck

[eugene roe]

gene can't decide if having medical knowledge makes it better or worse

and if being the medic and being the one to have their hands covered in the your blood, was better than leaving it in the hands of someone else

he decides it's awful... definitely worse

the very few hours he slept, it was just dreaming of your terrified face

and he wakes with a jolt and is completely miserable

and life just goes on...

a lot of pacing and murmuring

gene closes in on himself when he's upset and stressed, so he becomes even quieter than normal

and the other guys are worried like ??? do we need to intervene and lip just stops them, "leave him alone, he'll be okay."

prays for you a lot, gripping his rosary so tightly and the photo that he has of the two of you when you were still in england

when you both felt some semblance of normalcy

he can't abandon the company to stay with you full time at the aid station to his incredible frustration and disappointment

it's just hard for him to go on like everything's fine, it shatters whatever illusion he has of fairness and hope and safety

whenever someone else gets injured or they need supplies, he'll take any excuse to ride back to the aid station to see you

and if anyone else goes, they always see you and give gene an update

winters definitely notices and tries to give him opportunities to see you

likes watching you rest and sleep (because you definitely needed it, even before you got injured) in the sweetest, non-creepy way

gene loves to just sit with you, see you with his own eyes, and know for certain that you're okay

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for telling my friends that I don't have empathy?

(I'm 19, friend group is six of us from 19-22)

One of my friends made a comment in a group discussion abt being high empathy bc she's autistic and I replied along the lines of "I think it's neat how autism trends towards the extremes -- I don't rly have any empathy" (I am also autistic) and everyone seemed rather surprised. They asked follow up questions like "don't you feel something when you see someone get hurt?" (no) and "whats stopping you from hurting others?" (social and legal consequences, plus it's not like I want to hurt ppl, I just don't share their emotions)

I thought it was a fun conversation, and it was cool to compare how I process emotions to how they do.

That night, I realised that they'd kicked me from the group chat, so I messaged one of them privately asking if it was an accident. She told me that everyone was uncomfortable hanging out with me "now that I'd shown my true face." (I don't fully understand what that means but I asked a few more questions and she indicated it was due to what I said abt not having empathy.) I messaged a different person in the group asking if it was true and she just blocked me. I tried to reach out to everyone individually and they've all either blocked me or are ignoring me. (I'm not spamming, I've sent at most 3 messages in a row)

Idk I feel like I'm missing smth but I must've fucked up if they're all this mad at me. Did I do smth wrong or are they over reacting?

What are these acronyms?

[sunnysidesevenup]

U gotta tell us how Neige reacted when he first saw Arlo's merform and maybe how it happened?? /Nf

Was going to make this a comic at first but then I realized I had too much I wanted to say and a lot of it wouldn’t translate well, so here’s a little scene lol. read under the cut!!

also tagging ppl hehe,,, @jadelover69 @lallopsyou @miriaocs

“You know… RSA has a pool!” Neige says, arms behind his back while he smiles at Arlo. “It can even be reserved, and there’s both an indoor and outdoor one!”

Arlo blinks at him. “Oh… that’s cool? I didn’t know you liked swimming that much.”

Neige makes a face at him, fond but a little exasperated.

“What?”

“I was inviting you.” He explains.

“Oh. Oh!” The mer tilts his head. “To… RSA? To swim? I don’t know how to swim as a human, though.”

Neige shakes his head. “That’s okay! Lots of mers use the pool in their normal forms, it’s plenty big enough and it’s maintained by magic, so there’s no chemicals! I thought it would be nice, since you said it was a bit annoying being stuck as a human all the time the other week.”

“But would it really be okay…? I’m not an RSA student.”

Neige smiles at him, “I promise it’s fine.” He reassures, and Arlo finally seems to calm down a little.

“Alright, then.”

-

“You weren’t joking about the pool being big enough.” Arlo says, staring at the outdoor pool on the RSA grounds.

Neige laughs, tilting his head at him. “We have a swim team! They usually use the indoor one, though.” He moves to sit beside Arlo, who’s on the edge of the water with a hand reached out. He touches it, feeling the temperature and humming.

“It’s not too cold, right? It’s heated.”

“The ocean is colder, and my body handles the cold well even as a human. I’m more worried about you.”

Neige giggles. Arlo’s always worrying about him, even when he doesn’t need to. “I’ll be okay!”

Truthfully, he’s not that great of a swimmer, but he’s decent enough. He’d like to improve, especially now when he plans to spend a lot more time around one particular merfolk.

“Do you need to change, or anything?” Arlo asks curiously.

“Nope! Made sure I already put on swimwear, so we can just jump right in!” Strangely, he’s a little nervous. He’s never seen Arlo’s mer form before! It’s exciting!

“Okay.” Arlo nods, and then simply jumps into the pool immediately, making sure to angle it so the splash doesn’t hit Neige.

There’s moments of still silence, the other boy not re-emerging from below the water, and although it’s irrational he starts to grow a bit worried while waiting. Nothing could have gone wrong, right? It was unlikely, but maybe he should just go in right away—

There’s another splash, and the surface breaks, Arlo re-emerging from beneath the water.

There’s a moment where Neige can’t even process what he’s seeing, the only word coming to mind being wow.

Arlo tilts his head at him, and there’s so much blue of so many different shades and the scales on his cheeks are so shimmery, glittering in the light. The color of his hair is a little different, too, the hues mixed with reds and greens and blues to match the rest of him. It’s come loose from its usual style, and the strands curl around his face, longer than Neige usually gets to see.

This is how you look? He thinks, and he knows he’s got a dumb, awestruck look on his face. He can’t help it.

“Oh… I probably should have warned you how big of a difference it is.” The mer says, and wow his eyes haven’t changed color but the sclera is red now and they’re so green. “It’s not as big a difference as some other mers, but… it’s probably a bit strange.”

“It’s not strange!” Neige immediately blurts, shaking his head. He moves closer to the edge of the water so he can see better, eyes on the swishing tail he can see behind his companion. The colors are mesmerizing, glittering under the sunlight. “Arlo, you’re gorgeous.” He says, sincerity dripping from his words.

Arlo’s eyes widen—his eyes really are so pretty—and he stares for a second before shaking his head frantically. “You— Wh—.. I—“

The mers skin flushes a darker blue (blue!!) and Neige has only a second to appreciate it before he’s ducked back beneath the water.

“Wait! Arlo, ack, come back! Don’t be embarrassed, it’s true!”

[hyperfixatedbean]

Why I think Eddie Diaz is autistic !

(As an autistic individual)

- Struggle with emotional expression:

He often struggles to express emotions, particularly in his relationship with women, (look at the way he acted with Sharon, Ana and Marisol, never communicating clearly, or doing it VERY straightforwardly (-> “you should go”)

He struggle with articulating his feelings, to name his emotions and process them (seemingly alexithymia) and he close off a lot, even with his therapist !

- Literal Thinking:

He tend to interpret language literally, (interactions with his colleagues and fast problem-solving, keeping a cool head under very stressful situations, the way he react to jokes, the way he doesn’t believe and ‘judge’ the way they fear superstitions, only believing what he can prove)

It seems to me like he experiences challenges with understanding figurative language or sarcasm and only believe what is proven, he’s very closed off about the idea of superstition which can be seen in some autistic people who struggle with theses concept

And he can be really straightforward (see the “you should go home Ana” or the “last time he wore that was at his mom’s funeral”) -> stating facts straightforwardly without processing it first and without realizing how stating it like that can be ‘awkward’ to others

- Meltdowns and Coping Mechanisms:

He experiences moments of intense frustration and resorts to unhealthy coping mechanisms (-> fights and destroying his room, hurting himself and other in the process (as in a lot of autistic meltdown and the way a lot of us turn to violent coping mechanisms to fight against sensory overload and the complexity of understanding our own emotions -> resorting to violence)

He parallels experiences of sensory overload and regulation, also his panic attacks and the way he avoid addressing his trauma and feelings by brushing it off and ignoring his own mental health, struggling to understand his own feelings about what he’s experiencing

- Difficulty with Trauma and Normalcy:

His reluctance to address trauma and persistent efforts to appear "normal."

It reflects challenges faced by autistic ppl in processing traumatic experiences and blending in with neurotypical society (force conformism and such)

There’s something about the way he and his father approach emotions, keeping it hidden and close off, that resonates a lot with my own experiences as someone autistic raised by someone who’s (probably) autistic too ‼️

+ the way he quickly connect with Buck exemplifies the ‘neurodivergent link’ : ADHD and autism solidarity is a reality ! Neurodivergent people tend to feel more secure, comfortable and friendly with other neurodivergent individuals!!

He basically just give such a autistic energy, like- I really connect with his struggle and the way he interact with the world around him, but please tell me what YOU think 🫶‼️

To have a better view of this part of him we would need more of his pov, sadly we rarely get it so I’m basing this of what I remember, what I personally see in him, what I connected with :’D

(Keep in mind that I probably projecting and it’s just an headcanon, not hate please <3 constructive criticism is welcome tho !!)

Credits it to @thisonemaniac that helped me make this post :D !! We talked about it a bit, I highlighted in orange what he remind me off ‼️

(Since you asked me about it you might want to read this :D !! I explained it better I think xD @lesbianphoebespengler )

[lunicho]

The teamies dom/sub/switch

okay so here's what i think each of the boys are!! we had a little discussion about what other ppl think but i didn't say like what i 100% think so here it is!

kei: i used to think he was just a dom but idk,, recently i've been seeing the switch kei Vision if u will. i feel like he leans more dominant but definitely has the ability and sometimes the desire to be a bit more submissive. when he is submissive i do feel like he's very very playful and a bit mischievous <33 soo cute to think abt!!

fuma: switch... hear me out. he also leans dominant, a bit more than kei just because of his desire to care for you and please you but!! he very much enjoys being able to sit back and have you pleasure him. he loves when you take control of his body in a sense and play with his senses and test his limits like he just enjoys the journey with you and loves all the different things that you're able to do to one another.

nicho: me saying switch everytime.. BUT HEAR ME OUT 😭😭😭 nicholas is The Switch™ of &team,, like he's so versatile and i feel like his sexual preferences and abilities range far and wide. he's not opposed to much and just wants to cum in the end like he's vibing like genuinely so he's cool with whatever. sometimes he's super dominant and sometimes super submissive and sometimes there's no roles at all, like he's so ideal <3

juju: pains me to say but.. switch 😞 as much as i wanna call him a sub and deny the idea of dom juju i simply have to admit that it's there. i don't ever think abt him as a dom and also don't read abt him as a dom but i know it's there, my brain just hasn't processed it yet 😭 but he is indeed a switch,, or a service dom even like i could see that as well

yuma: see his is hard bc someone called him a switch and now im considering but i haven't thought of him in any way other than a mean dom,,, but like i can't deny the idea of switch yuma yk?? so im gonna say he's a dom leaning switch just because of how much developing my brain is lacking when it comes to thoughts of him but imma think abt it fr

jo: 🙈🙈 service dom/switch 🙈🙈 (are y'all shocked) he's the type to go along with whatever you say and to kinda love when you give him guidance at all times. i feel like he's fully capable of being a dom but he just loves to be able to flip flop with you and to also be able to be your good boy sometimes when he feels like it. i do think he'll sometimes wanna fully take control but not always, he just likes to keep things changing up fr

harua: sub (im sorry) i can't see him any other way and i keep trying but 😞 like i see the other visions, i see the switch harua agenda but he will always be a sub to me. a pretty little sub like he's soo baby boy to me and i really can't change that ��

taki: switch leaning sub. he's so puppy, i feel like he switches things up so much just due to how spontaneous he is on a regular basis but more often than not he's in a very submissive mindset. he loves to not have to think or comprehend or do much so he loves when you're there to take care of him and handle him however you please 😫

[sapphicdib]

Iterator yapping?

Okay I personally enjoy on-the-string iterators because I like the things ppl come up with to get around the isolation being an immobile building brings, not to mention I deadass don’t think their puppets have enough strength in their bodies to actually lift themselves if they aren’t in anti-grav. Them legs are NOT made for walkin. HOWEVER I do think off-the-string shit is still interesting. Like Moon canonically is off-the-string, but she’s still bound to her structure via the mechanical arm, which I feel like still gives her at least some awareness of the rest of her body. But losing all that? Compressing an entire iterator into the tiny, tiny doll at the heart of its structure? I can only imagine what kinda shit that does to them.

Tbh if iterators did figure out how to de-string themselves, it would be a massive sacrifice. I could honestly see some reacting to the idea the same way as they’d react to Sig and Pebbles’ whole plan in the rot au, like “wtf do you mean get out of your can, you ARE your can!” You’re basically chopping off your arm and asking it to continue moving. You’re losing a huge part of yourself, is it even you anymore? (Ironically, Rot Au Sig is very content being on-the-string, simply wanting freedom in the form of free will rather than mobility). Like, the toss up between touching grass vs keeping your memories, yeesh.

The other thing too: Moon’s structure continues to… “live” even once her puppet is ascended. The gravity fluctuations happen still, hell, pieces of Pebbles’ structure still produce heat and appear to be working (term used VERY loosely) despite the fact his puppet and consciousness are on the brink of death. So does that mean if you de-stringed an iterator, would their structure be a separate entity? Does the puppet just carry the personality and mannerisms, or does the processing strata have some say in it? Does an abandoned structure still iterate and ponder despite its communication organ being removed, leaving it silenced? I might just be completely shooting in the dark here, but it always left a bad feeling in my stomach when Pebbles and Moon were ascended and yet their structures still continued to act as they always had.

God iterators are fucked. Anyways! Off the string aus are based and cool but I wish people would lean into the whole “bro you basically lobotomized yourself” angle of it, at least a little. ALSO i feel like every so often they’d would freak the fuck out because OPEN AIR THIS IS NOT WHERE WE ARE MEANT TO BE— before the like, 7 neurons they carry around manage to process “oh, right, we’re fine.”

(also i’m using tupperbot here i do NOT fuck w stupid ai character shit) but bonus sig opinions on things:

my god is the dude bad at wording things, LMAO)

[glossypolaroidkisses]

hi my love!! im excited to see what ur blog will contain hehe omg im so ecstatic that u commented that ur interested in the whole right brained reader thing hehe i js want to know ur thoughts on the relationship dynamic of having a more humanitarian reader who likes english, arts everything that's quite opposite to what luigi is like!!

hihi!! omg I’m SO excited too!! i already feel so welcomed!! ok this is so fun, buckle in!! bear with me!!

since luigi seems to be so analytical and anal with his thought processes (like you mentioned), i can see him pre-relationship being a bit skeptical while getting to know you; just because that’s not how his brain works. at the start he’d ask you so many questions. you’d have so many conversations that would give him better insight into your mind, to make sure you’re not just in la la land all the time. it’s giving, waiting for 3rd or 4th date to talk politics?… no. 1st date we’re talking about thoughts on religion, the afterlife, etc.

also, that’s not an insult to right brained/artistic ppl, I’m one of them (if you couldn’t tell lol)! i’ve been perceived as dumb(er than others) because I’m so driven by creativity, english and the arts (NOT scientific or mathematical at all). It's only once someone gets to know me better, that they learn how intelligent I am. right brain thinkers are more likely to be dismissed or overlooked, imo!

someone like luigi may not have been too surrounded by many right brain thinkers let alone dated them, and he would be so curious about what goes on in your mind.

obviously, you do develop a relationship and the dynamic would be adorable. you balance each other out! there may be some minor situations and misunderstandings where his strict, logical, rational self isn’t sure where you’re coming from; but he always listens to you explain your POV, and does come around to understand it. he’s very open minded, esp when it comes to you!

he loves your brain. i mean, he’s so fascinated by it. you find art, beauty, creativity and meaning in things that he could’ve never perceived in such a way. both of your brains work in different ways that are both so important.

whether you come to him about a situation all pouty, or do the opposite, acting stubborn and silent about it until he picks up on your mood shift, coming over to help you.. he’ll have a solution. he’d drop anything to brainstorm a way to help you solve your problems. for luigi, because of his logical problem solving, the solution is usually simple for him to come up with. but then you’re standing there with stars in your eyes like ‘wow luigi😍❤️ i would’ve never come up with that🤩 thank you so much😩’ and he’s just there, giddy, bc you make him feel so smart and useful. he’s so happy when he can help you in any way.

there will probably be a lot of funny moments trying to make decisions together. you might want to decide based on gut feeling, or your emotions, but he’ll be so analytical; thinking of every detail. for example, buying furniture together. you might be like “omg! this couch is such a cute colour, matches the vibe of our apartment and it feels so soft!” and luigi would be like “uhm… yeah! cute! but… (pulls out tape measure) it isn’t the correct dimensions, the fabric isn’t stain resistant, the cushion covers aren’t removable, and it isn’t well reviewed online….😅🥸”

if he’s not with you, he’ll take photos of things he sees while out-and-about, maybe exploring, and send them to you. or!!! when he comes home, he’ll be all excited to show you stuff he took pictures of, wondering what your perspective on it would be, how you would interpret it. he’ll go through the pictures with you and just listen to you gush over something artsy or interpretive, like if he saw graffiti he thought you’d find cool, a quote from a book or painting at a museum. idk!

if he goes book shopping for his own yk NON fiction books, he’ll always come back with a book or two for you. he’ll get home, probably make some sort of joke like “i just chose the book that had the most colourful cover”, when in reality he spent time at the bookstore looking through the books, reading so many back covers to choose one that he knows you’ll genuinely enjoy. or, he’ll just buy a book he remembers you mentioning you wanted in passing. even if he wouldn’t enjoy reading it, he enjoys knowing it brings you joy. and if you talk to him about a book you’re reading/read, he’ll listen as if it’s his favourite genre.

me personally, idk if it’s the eldest daughter in me, but i LOVE being taken care of + i think he’d enjoy feeling helpful. like if i was drawing on an app on my ipad and it crashed or something, i’d go running to him for help.. with anything technology related (even if i had an idea of how i could fix it myself) like heyyy my lil compsci problem solver.. help pls😇

overall, i think this dynamic is so sweet as long as you can both embrace each others differences and find that harmony. he would add more structure to your life while appreciating your perspective, and you’d add more spontaneity, empathy & creativity to his!

also idk if i touched enough on this, but this dynamic is literally a humanitarian power couple. like fighting for what’s right, with his brain and your heart!! best of both worlds for a well rounded perspective!! mwhahaha

thank you so much for submitting that! oh my god that was so much fun I’m not insane i promise (maybe a lil hehehe) it is literally 7 am i am going to sleep now. i just started responding to that ask and couldn’t stop. aaa love it!!

i hope you liked it!! don’t be afraid to give feedback, anyone! i loooovee requests like these!! keep em coming!! mwah