#so all these people died these weird gruesome deaths because of this stuff

[spiralfucker]

So I was going through my old songs and I found this one from when I was 17-18 that I never got a proper recording of. It's about a Victorian woman dying of arsenic poisoning idk.

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for not realizing my husband had been possessed by an evil ghost?

When I was a teen and first met my future husband (B), I had this kind of relationship which we honestly never defined and it didn't last more than a week with this older guy (A). When I got with my husband, A seemed hurt, but I figured he'd get better yk. I mean we were teens/young adults.

After a bunch of events I won't tell you, we're here, fifty years later, I'm starting to feel old but I'm still doing my job, my husband divorced me then remarried me, became mayor of our little city, and I adopted three children and had four of my own (two of which died very young), and also A got murdered pretty gruesomely, we discovered later it was our adopted daughter who had killed him which... yikes. Legitimate defence and all but still.

Recently, my husband and I got distant again, not as abruptly as when he divorced me without any kind of forewarning, but still. I got sick of how he treated me, he told me I was the one treating him wrong, etc. Then my twin sister died and while I can only acknowledge that he isn't entirely responsible, if he'd done as I suggested MULTIPLE TIMES she wouldn't have died so there's also that strain. A bit after my sister's death, my husband got sick, then in a coma. When he awoke, the only thing changed was that he was more clingy with me, preventing me from going to work in the morning and stuff like we'd never shared a bed before or something. At work though, he treated a lot of people super harshly, he didn't recognize some of our coworkers, he even fired our own daughter for some petty reason, started policing what everyone said and even thought. Complete bullshit, but after having been married to him for 40 years (with a five or seven years gap in the middle) I'm used to him being borderline obsessive with what people think of him or what I do with my days or who anyone sees outside of work etc.

Then this guy (distant relative and also training under a coworker of my late sister) came around and made some kind of... ritual exorcism??? and there's a lot of stuff like someone drowning in a pool and someone being killed in their sleep by angry ghosts and people being trapped inside and outside of Heaven and stuff but i'll spare you the details, and hop! My husband's back to pre-coma state and apparently what happened ever since was because he'd been possessed by A's ghost, which is super weird honestly i didn't even know ghosts could possess the living?

And now I'm wondering AITA for not realizing the difference?

[mask131]

I hadn’t planned for this post, I’m just throwing this right now.

I used to regularly look at channels that covered creepy Internet incidents, weird ARGs, bizarre Youtube videos, the debunking of horror rumors, etc etc... I used ot but I don’t anymore - not because my passion for these videos has stopped, but because so many of those I followed shifted their content to “true crime” and talking about actual murders and suicide cases, and stuff that have nothing to do with either 1- fictional horror or 2- the Internet. 

If I want to see “true crime” content, I won’t look at a random Youtube video, I will look for more professional media. And while it is these people’s decisions to run their channels how they want and to go with whatever has the more views on the Internet (we know thanks to the success of some talked about TV series that true crime always attracts more audience), it isn’t why I make this post today.

I make this post to share a very sudden, very new, very fresh unease that just formed itself over this lack of interest I talked about above. One of the channels I regularly followed was ScareTheater, and while I am still following the channel, I have been looking less and less at his videos because, as I said, they are not the type of content I originally followed him for, or they are things already covered enough and much better by the news or experts or actual investigators. 

And he just dropped a video today about a disturbing and frightening footage recording some of the last moments and dialogues of divers that got trapped into a pipe and died there. Real-life stuff, a quite recent thing. And upon starting the video it suddenly hit me that this video was just voyeurism. A bad form of voyeurism.

I am not talking about or criticizing the man behind the ScareTheater channel, who seems to be a very decent and kind fellow. But I am talking about the direction his channel (and other similar channels) have been taking, and the shock I had just now. Because... it is a real-life case, as I said before, and the footage from these real life deaths, which is quite disturbing in itself, is not something that went viral or was massively spread over the Internet (at least to my knowledge). It was sought and researched for the making of this video over a pretty popular channel.

I know and I understand that talking about these incidents is needed, and that by sharing the stories of disasters and tragic death we can learn very useful information. I am myself a “fan” (if the word can be used for this) of a channel covering mass disaster and accident-caused deaths, “Fascinating Horror”. But the video of ScareTheater did not felt like a documentary recording the incident - because it was centered around the “horrifying found footage” of the last moments of these people that died stuck in a pipe. The title is about the found footage, the video opens with “Let’s discuss the found footage”, it all relies on us hearing the last words, and seeing the footage... It is about the footage, not the incident, and as a result this made me realize how ScareTheater had fallen (probably unconsciously since it seems to have just been a slow shift many channels that try to cover “true crime” topics fall into) into one of the big flaws of covering actual deaths and recent accident cases. A bad case of sensationalism, by highlighting a very gruesome and disturbing fact (last recorded words, videos of the cause of a death), and playing on the voyeurism of the audience so that the video would be shared and liked. 

It isn’t like when he covered last videos or last photos of persons before they went missing - because in these cases, talking about it might help find back the person or understand what happened. And it isn’t like talking about something that happened a very long time ago, so that the case is closed or most people directly impacted/involved by the case are out of the picture. It is still very fresh, and these last moments are incredibly private and horrifying, and to see this shared online massively and used as the subject of a video, when it is still so fresh... it feels perverse. But not that ScareTheater seems to have done it on purpose - but this video clearly works in a way that it will appeal and attract the perversity of the worst voyeurists. This is a bit more than just a morbid curiosity, this feels almost indecent. 

Because again - we are not talking of something that was purposefully posted on the Internet by someone part of it. When it comes to disturbing and horrifying footage actually sent on the Internet purposefully, it is important to talk about and analyze it and explain it, because it is already there and people are being exposed to it. But with this... it is something brought onto the Internet, brought onto the platform for people to see...

Honestly I don’t know, I can’t put my words in place. Yesterday I watched a video of disturbing footage found on the Internet - you might have seen the one, with a man filming as his house was being hit by a tornado, and the “man at the door” video of a dangerous criminal coming at the door of the one he wanted to turn into his next victim... And these didn’t felt like voyeurism. It was videos posted on the Internet, it was treated as content to be contextualized and analyzed, it was explained, it was informative of dangers... But tonight I see ScareTheater’s video about the last moments of those stuck divers, before they die, and I am hit with the knowledge that “This video is voyeurism. The bad type of voyeurism bad true crime-info channels or bad criminal magazines use, to form an audience by building on the perverse curiosity to glimpse into the last breath of a dying man or to see what the mutilated and torn up body of a murdered woman looks like, or to assist to the suicide of a desperate person that was in need of help”. 

If it was just about the incident itself, about the media coverage, the way the rescue was handled, the reason these divers died, if it was just a video about the accident I probably wouldn’t have felt that - but it was about the found footage, and the last moments, and the last recorded words, as these poor people were stuck in a pipe certain of their death... I don’t know. Or rather I know that saying this invites to a lot of comparison, evaluation and re-evaluation of a lot of other content on Youtube, and opens a whole debate to “Where is the line? Where should Youtubers stop exploring disturbing footage, and what should one post on the Internet when discussing about it?”. It is not an easy debate, and it is precisely because it is such a complex issue that I am left with this “I don’t know feeling”.

But the thing that I am certain of, and that frightens me, is that I had probably grew a bit desensitized and complacent towards the voyeurism of those “death-covering” and “true crime” channels, about the general morbid voyeurism and view-collecting sensationalism of channels that are well-meaning even though in the facts they seem to do things more badly as time goes on... And this video shook me and woke something up in me, and made me go “Wait, that’s voyeurism, that’s not a good way to share this video, and the people who will watch this video probably will do it badly”. I mean, I just looked at the comments and most people just go “I feel bad for those people.” It is a sentence that comes up again and again “I feel bad for them”, “feel bad for them”, “this makes me feel so bad”.

Commenter on Youtube - seeing the last moments, the last recorded words and actions, the last of the life of people who just die isn’t supposed to make you “feel bad”. It is supposed to make you feel deeply disturbed and shocked. It isn’t about it being “uncomfortable”. It is another human being trapped into their death! It is horrfying and sickening and terrifying! One says “I feel bad this guy” when someone’s is the subject of something like a public humiliation, or falls prey for a scam, or has a nasty allergy - it isn’t supposed to be something you say upon watching the LAST OF SOMEONE LIFE! I am not particularly religious, but if there is something sacred in this life and that should be treated with respect, it is certainly the last moments, the last words and the last breath of a living being! It isn’t just some Youtube video you look at and say “Aww, feel sad for me, :( “. NO! 

Anyway... I will certainly unsuscribe from ScareTheater, and my dislike of the current state of Youtube will go ever growing - and my suspicions and cynicism towards humanity will blossom a bit more. But I just wanted to share that because honestly I have no one else to share that with, and I want to have it recorded somewhere. 

I am not a prude, and if this content is indeed present on the Internet I do think peope should explain it, and talk about it, and contextualize it, and warn people about it. But I am also a man who is for decency, and it is something people on the Internet clearly seem to have forgotten the existence of sometimes. I am sorry this all falls on ScareTheater’s video because clearly he isn’t himself a voyeurist, a perverted or an indecent person, but his video was clearly badly made if it managed to re-open my eyes about the morbid vulture-nature of Youtube. 

[skateamini]

I had my Hannibal obsessed phase (especially because of Mads Mikkelsen). I love this kind of art, dark, strange and morally dubious with lots of blood. I watched Bones and All (again, because of Taylor Russell) and really liked it.

About All of Them Dreams, I really think the movie A Ghost Story will make you think, it's like its description of the story. There is also a book called The Ghost Bride that addresses the world of spirits in Malaysia, it is a fantasy with a lot of Asian culture.

This year I read Carmilla, a classic vampire book that came long before and which inspired Dracula, about Carmilla and her obsession with beautiful women, especially the book's protagonist, Laura. It has everything that the term "vampirism" carries.

There's a film about cannibalism called Raw, it's very explicit, but it has some interesting discussions.

A list of films that are unique, in my opinion:

Antichrist is about a couple who lose their son and deal with their grief, but things go south in Act 3.

Climax is a crazy movie too, it makes me think of Hoseok because it has an opening about dancers explaining why they dance and then a long presentation with various dance styles, but again, things get dark.

Martyrs from 2008, in French (the remake is not worth it) about a religious sect that tortures people so that they are between life and death and can glimpse the other side and tell what they see.

I watched All of Us Strangers yesterday and, my god, the ending left me with my mouth open. It's Queer and talks a lot about loneliness. A writer visits his childhood home and meets his parents, but his parents died when he was a teenager. Meanwhile he starts to get closer to his neighbor.

The Killing of a Sacred Deer was one of my first in the "bizarre" genre.

I have more recommendations, but I don't know if you want them? I think I've already written too much.

No, thank you! Go ahead and recommend everything. My favourite kinds of media are those that are "bizarre" and strange!

To balance it out, here's some films and books that I enjoyed for being dark and strange:

The Southern Book Club's Guide to Slaying Vampires - a lot more gruesome and dark than the title insinuates! About a vampire. Weird stuff going on. A great allegory for community groupthink and underprivileged voices not being listened to.

Piranesi - the narrator lives in a great hall, flooded by the sea and full of columns and ancient greek statues. A really strange and magical world with a darker undertone!

House of Leaves - a really dense and convoluted novel with an "editor" writing and editing text around the story of a family who discovers a door in their house that leads into a dark and endless labyrinth

Handling the Undead - one day the undead wake up, and chaos ensues! Dark, haunting but also tragic.

Where I end - a dark and twisted story about a young woman who looks after her bedridden mother (read TW for this book regarding infanticide and abusive behaviours, etc.).

Here are some films that inspired All of Them Dreams:

The Devil's Backbone - takes place during the spanish civial war, boy abandoned in orphanage in the middle of nowhere, a ghost of a little boy tries to warn him.

Incantation - Taiwanese Horror Film about a mother who has cursed herself and her daughter, found footage style

The Wailing - Korean horror film, folk horror and shamanism.

The Others - woman whose husband is off at war lives in house with her two young children, strange servants show up one day to work, strange things happening in house.

[himebushou]

So I watched Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch from Mercury in 24 hours — some scrambled thoughts below.

Ep 1.  The visuals of The Witch from Mercury... wow.  And I had such chills when Aerial used the shield.  What a gorgeous Gundam!  And ahh — the tomato stuff was so cute.

Ep 2.  The worldbuilding!!  It's amazing that they literally explain nothing to the audience fjdkdm and wow the way they play with gravity is something (though a bit inconsistent).

Ep 3.  I love this soundtrack and WOW PROSPERA IS SULETTA'S MOOOM — I felt sorry for Guel in this ep and I liked the strong stance against AI LOL but wow, Guel taking Suletta extending her hand as an opportunity to propose marriage is just.  BOY.

And phew, the mobile suits are stunning... I really want to know why the Cathedra Agreement outlawed Gundams.  Poor Gundams are always punished for some reason or other.  :(

Ep 4.  Bloody hell Chu-Chu nearly KILLED those girls FUDIKDK

Ep 5.  Some Elan character development and SHEESH IT'S DARK.  Also, I love how diverse the character designs are.

Wait.  HOW is Elan allowed to use a Gundam without people freaking out fhdjd like hello???  And is is a witch anyone who pilots a Gundam?  Who are the enhanced human beings?  What is going on!!!

Ep 6.  Okay I love the little slumber party at Earth House tbh these girlies are so sweet and supportive — WHOA WHAT.  CLONES?  FACE STEALING?  HUHHHHH????

I thought Elan was gonna die in front of Suletta or something but they just killed him??????

Ep 7.  Man, Miorine forming that company and getting investment was really moving... and we finally get confirmation thar Aerial is a Gundam.  Tbh, I'm pretty surprised that the lives of pilots are prioritised so much in this world.  Hmm.

Ep 8.  It was cool to see all the business stuff being taken seriously and to finally get sort of confirmation that a witch is anyone involved with Gundams (honestly the title is a massive chunk of the reason why I picked up the show; it's so cool).  But man, I'm wondering what direction they'll take for the last few eps of the season... that's obviously too short a time to have any significant progress in developing medical tech.

Felt bad for Guel in this ep... and what is Shaddiq's deal, anyway?

Ep 9.  Yahoo, another battle!  All the Grassley House drama was interesting to watch (the name makes me think they should be running a gym in Pokémon).  The nature of Suletta's bond with Aerial seems to be changing... interesting.

Ep 10.  Flipping heck, the new Elan is a lot??  I'm glad that we got this lil timeskip to progress the plot — the prosthetic legs are definitely v. cool.  BUT WHAT IS THIS INTRIGUE with Shaddiq and Nika?

Ep 11.  Hot dig there was a lot happening in this but flipping heck I'm honestly so sad that Suletta didn't get to have lunch... and that might actually impact her piloting skills if she has to use Aerial in the next ep because she needs to be in good physical and mental condition?

Someone save Guel what the heck!

Ep 12.  Wow so much death in this ep!

- Miorine's daddy dies trying to save her (presumably — I don't think he'll live)

- Guel kills his own daddy in a weird twist of fate

- And Suletta???  I'd seen the mentions of Suletta killing someone in cold blood but that was GRUESOME.

What a way to end a season!

Ep 13.  Miorine seems to be keeping her distance following the last ep, which makes sense... Sophie is kind of an annoying character tbh.  I'm wondering how all of these different threads will come together, what with Earth folk vs Spacians, the Gundams' true forms and all the stuff with the Big Three.

Ep 14.  She turned her daughter into a Gundam?!?  What?!?!?

PROLOGUE.  I'm a goof djdjd I skipped the prologue because I figured it wouldn't really add to the story but I just watched it and everything makes so much more sense now fhdj what a dummy

Ep 15.  Man, Guel is shaping up to be a rly interesting character.  I feel for this boyo.

This ep was good; it was interesting to see the Earth stuff (although I am losing track of ppl's motivations).

NOREA IS SCARY.

Ep 16. Guel is back and taking matters into his own hands!

Man, seeing the extent to which Suletta is brainwashed is pretty scary.  I'm glad that Miorine confronted prospera directly...

Ep 17.  Oh geez, that duel!  Definitely emotionally-charged...

I really want everyone to find out the truth about Elan already...

Ep 18.  The Elan reveal dropped like a lead balloon and I'm mad that they didn't do more with that moment.

BUT WOW.  When the Gundam itself is accidentally the villain...?

This anime has so many themes linking to a notion of people only being important when they have utility and it's just so sad...

Ep 19.  I'm feeling a bit frantic because there are only 5 eps left and these chars are so bad at communicating with each other djdjjd like to this point there isn't anyone who knows the full story.

Ep 20.  Whoa... whoa.  The level of destruction in this episode?  All the feelings being aired?  All the death?  This was so —

And man, I didn't realise that I had been missing out on end of episode illustrations! This one of Norea and the fifth Elan is heartbreaking...

Ep 21.  Petra is alive!  For now, at least.

I cried a few tears when Suletta told everyone the truth about herself — and whoa, the power of Quiet Zero was SOMETHING.  But damn, I think they really wasted the Elan revelation AGAIN: Nika's outburst was so vague and there was basically zero reaction from the others, even when he barged in.  Considering the horror of Number 4's death sceen, they really just... kind of shrugged it off?  Even though there are so many parallels between Elan and Suletta.  Sighs.

Ep 22.  Finally... a conversation between Suletta and Elan, mostly off-screen, but at least it happened.

One thing that's odd is how everyone seems to have a secret Gundam hidden up their sleeve. Like it was weird enough to find out about Schwarzette but Calibarn literally came from nowehere lol

Ep 23.  I feel a bit dopey because a lot of technical stuff happened in this episode and I didn't really follow/understand it, lol... like Miorine recoding the password?  Huh?

Man, when I thought Landa had killed Guel I was SAD but then I was pleased to see Felsi for like the first time lololol

Ep 24.  A very flashy ending — the visuals were super cool!  And things ended well for everyone (except Shaddiq); the epilogue demonstrated that there was still work to do.  Guel working for OG Elan Ceres is pretty hilarious

AND MAN, dead Elan appearing was a welcome surprise!

OVERALL THOUGHTS

Hmm.

So yeah, on the whole, it was a very good and enjoyable show, though not one that really gripped me, I suppose (though I did watch the whole thing in a day, so maybe I didn't give myself enough time to absorb what was happening).  Some things felt a tad convoluted towards the end.

I thought the scenes where the characters were crying or having difficulties in their Gundams were really, really well done. And there was a lot of sweetness between different characters, especially Earth House. But yeah... I guess it felt like there were some missed opportunities (like we probably could have looked at the events of Episode 12 a bit more — there were some viewer theories that "Gain two" was some sort of trigger phrase for Suletta that sent her into a trance and this idea was glossed over pretty quickly, despite Suletta and Miorine having a heart-to-heart in the greenhouse).

The tech was freaking cool, so I enjoyed that aspect a ton!

It might just be that I'm currently on more of a nostalgia kick, lol.

[valandhirwriter]

@do-androids-dream-ao3acc - How can I not be greedy when you write so well? I would have offered the same for you, but I too will answer all of your questions.

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction?

That's a bit of a weird story. In the late 90ies I had just re-read Dumas Musketier Saga (The three Musketiers / Twenty Years After / The Vicomte de Bragelonne) and right at the end of the last book was a moment that annoyed me. It was the accusation against Louise, that her failing to love Raoul had caused his death. I honestly disliked that assertion, the boy had gotten himself killed in my opinion. And I wanted someone in that scene, to actually say it, but all canon characters possible for it were already dead. And then my mind jumped back to the first book, to d'Artagnans ill-fated little affair amoureuse with Mylady de Winter. And suddenly a firework ignited in my brain, connecting the idea of a son of that affair, to a story, that would end up with him being there, and speaking up. It was my first full flung fanfic (about 100k) and it was bad. I recently found it again and it wasn't any good. Though I got some praise for it, weirdly. And that whole thing started me, continuing to a few BG2 stories, Star Wars Snippets, and other smaller stuff until a number of years later the big stories came along.

🥑 ⇢ you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help?

@regis-favorite-raven because I will need an alibi and she's close enough to give one, you, because I will need some fun and gruesome idea of how to get rid of the body.

🐇 ⇢ do you prefer writing original characters, reader inserts, or a mix of both?

I don't really do reader inserts, it's one thing I have tried and cannot really do.

I love OCs though, because they allow us to cast light into corners of the fictional world, we do not get to see with the canon MCs. I also believe that taking some minor minor canon char and writing him much bigger is often a good way to have an OC that people do not recognize as an OC, because at least the name was invented by the Author.

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

I am convinced that Emhyr is quietly jelaous, knowing that Eskel and Geralt were lovers in the past. This head canon can easily apply to Emralt and to Emhyr/Eskel. In both scenarious there would be that significant other from the past and Emhyr's drive to prove that he is the much superior choice.

🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character

I still think Ciri was a coward, leaving her people to Nilfgaard's tender mercies, instead of at least trying to use her position, and Nilfgaard's wish to legitimize the conquest, to negotiate for either vassal status, or for becoming a province under her leadership. She could have spared her people a lot of suffering. The fact that she doesn't even care or make the effort, is highly selfish and cowardly to me.

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

The different type of Hammermills (Hammerwerk), for refining and creating sheet metal. Along with other details of old mining techniques, that I needed to describe dwarven settlements.

Second would be researching the odd ends and details what Tolkien had said about the nature of the Silmaril.

❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best?

I have a mile of AUs in my head that I would love to read. But one that I always wanted, was a good Aragorn/Boromir romantic story running parallel to LotR events, and NOT going for the Boromir dies/vanishes in Amon Hen, but actually has him continue as a character on, through the rest of the Ring War. Bonus Points for their romance not being doomed from the start. Good character exploration between them would give more bonus points. (A certain amount of Boromir whump would also be okay). Authors - those I'd love it from left writing/fandom a long time ago, so I'd take it from whomever does write well enough.

🍦 ⇢ name three good things about a character you hate

I rarely hate characters but I have a strong dislike for some of them. Some I do despise. Let's take one of those.

Cersei Lanister from Game of Thrones: 1. She loves her children truly and would do anything to protect them.

2. She has the guts to preservere in a male dominated society.

3. She is not at least intimidated by Daenerys Targaryen.

For the record: Cersei and Dany sit in the same bucket with me, I dislike them both.

🪲 ⇢ add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here

Ser Arthur didn’t deign to rush or try to prevent him from running. “I shall believe what you did was your last desperate attempt to save your liege lord,�� he observed, speaking in the lilting accent of the South. “The ill deed of a man willing to sacrifice his own honour so that another may live.”

☁️ ⇢ what made you choose your username?

Valandhir and Cardhwion both are names coming from stories or games´. Cardhwion was my Bhaalspawn in BG2, and Valandhir was a Numenorán character, erroneously believed in later history of having been the living man who later became the Witch King of Angmar. He's from a story I began writing, which actually played around with the alleged backgrounds of Nazgul and historical errors in the records.

🎨 ⇢ link your favourite piece of fanart and explain why you like it

. Why do I like it? Because looking at it sparks an entire story in my brain.

Quelle: sin-vraal.deviantart.com

🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

Stories starting with dialogue, or starting without giving me a sense where the story is set, or what the heck is going on. I don't mind having to read to get all the context, but a story where the first scene starts confusing and somehow like a few parts before are missing, make me click away.

Stories that have almost only dialogue will make me hit the return button.

Stories with too short chapters , where I can see the chapter end, while still being at the beginning, have a chance that I won't even start reading.

Genderbenders have a hard time with me. I almost never read them.

I love this truth or dare ask game, but having learned my lesson, I will ask the authors I like directly. :)

Tag whomever you like or are curious about.

I am curious so here are my questions. My "dare" in case you dislike answering will be a story for one of my favourite pairings. ;)

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction? 🥑 ⇢ you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help? 🐇 ⇢ do you prefer writing original characters, reader inserts, or a mix of both? 🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings 🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character 🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project? ❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best? 🍦 ⇢ name three good things about a character you hate 🪲 ⇢ add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here ☁️ ⇢ what made you choose your username? 🎨 ⇢ link your favourite piece of fanart and explain why you like it 🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

Writing your favorite pairings? Don't get greedy girl, I basically just gave you romantic garden sex! (Also you KNOW I will answer anything because I love that and I love procrastinating) 😂

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction?

Just like that. I don't remember how I got into it back in the 90s, but in 2020, I got into it because I liked some Emralt stories so much, I thought, "Hey, maybe I can do that, too."

🥑 ⇢ you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help?

Probably @deagle. She'll know what to do because she's seen it in a movie with Sabin Tambrea 😂

🐇 ⇢ do you prefer writing original characters, reader inserts, or a mix of both?

Weeeeeell. Might be one of my OCs is a tiny bit like myself. But in general, I don't do reader inserts a lot.

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

I'm convinced Buck didn't tell Tommy about the sperm donor thingy yet, and it will become a major issue between them for whatever reason.

🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character

I still think his bachelor party behavior was absolutely out of character for Eddie. I know the fandom theories, but I disagree.

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

Maybe the kind of injuries you get from either falling of a certain height and from being shot with a .45

❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best?

I will fail you... still obsessed with the song, so I'd love to see the topic of the seemingly infallible fail to rescue their loved one. Not necessarily resulting in MCD, though. Don't care which pairing, don't care who'd write it. It's juicy.

🍦 ⇢ name three good things about a character you hate

Listen, I don't hate characters. That's stupid, they're not real. I admire writers of any kind if they make me feel things about a character, even if it's repulsion. But wait, we have Gerrard in the coming season. Nobody likes Gerrard... are there 3 good things about him? Let's see. He's old, so he might just die soon. He screams at Buck, that might get him in trouble. He's jealous, so he might make a mistake. I think those are good things 😂

🪲 ⇢ add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here

Yes, ma'am! Not edited.

“Who killed my father, Pablo? Was that you?”

Carlos pushed himself away from the car’s wreckage and fixed Pablo with his gaze. 

"Me? Oh boy, I don't cross the border so easily these days, you know? And certainly not to get some old guy out of the way. I've got my men for that.“

☁️ ⇢ what made you choose your username?

I love Dick. Philip K. Dick, that is 😂

🎨 ⇢ link your favourite piece of fanart and explain why you like it

There are so many, you know I love all the fanart I ever commissioned or got as a present. But today, I'd like to say this piece by @johix (sorry, if you don't want me to put it directly in a post please tell me!) I just love it.

🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

Usually, two breaks after a paragraph throughout the whole fic. Or when the fic turns out differently than expected, because I often don't read tags and I rarely read things like MPREG and stuff.

THANK YOU! This was fun. I'll throw the same questions right back at you.

[otterskin]

Dumb Details From the Loki Trailer I noticed but then got too serious about

First - apparently it’s not a trailer, so I guess we’ll get ‘Trailer 1′ later? ‘Exclusive Clip’ hardly seems accurate, but hey, I’m not Disney’s marketing division. I wouldn’t live in a shoebox if I was.

Dumb detail no. 1:

Owen Wilson’s jacket is...weird. Look closely.

And another shot:

Yeah...his jacket has a ‘reversed collar’. It’s a cut-out rather than cloth folding on top. Huh. What a strange design choice. What could it mean?

I’ve no idea, but that I watched the trailer enough times to notice this should concern you.

Detail No. 2

In this scene, we see what we can presume to be President Loki’s ‘Throne’. Notice the candy-canes. This is a Santa Claus throne, presumably from some mall Santa. This whole place might be in a mall, judging by the stuff in it.

But the Loki in this shot is not President Loki. Notice that he’s wearing brown pants, a thin brown tie, and the beige shirt he’s seen wearing in other parts of the trailer after he's apparently joined the TVA. President Loki wears black pants, a green vest and a wide green tie with a golden clip that resembles Loki’s little chevron he always has (more on that later).

So it would seem that Loki might meet President Loki here. President Loki might even be addressing him at the end of the trailer. It’s possible that his minions turn on him because there’s two Lokis and they don’t know which is the ‘imposter’. 

Speaking of, there’s a minion with bicycle handlebars grafted to a football helmet here, likely meant to resemble Loki. I dig it. There’s also cans of food scattered among the rubbish here. Makes sense that food production is non-existent since everyone has resorted to wearing license plates and spoons. Love how tattered the whole aesthetic is.

This reminds me of the opening Michael Waldron’s script ‘Worst Guy of All Time’, which featured a similar post-apocalyptic setting after the ‘worst guy’ ruins everything and makes himself king of the ashes. That’s likely what’s happened here, but I hope that Loki isn’t anything like Logan Paul, who was the inspiration for that title character.

Ah, the mysterious female character watching a meteor shower WAY TOO CLOSE UP. But my eyes are drawn to one thing...

What is that oblong object with a shiny handle? Could it be...

A sword? I do love swords. Did you know there’s a bunch of pictures of me in the stock photos for ��Fencing?’ That’s my cred for loving swords.

I suspect that this female character will be an amalgamation of Amora (shudder) and Sylvie and an alternate Loki of some kind. This sword is currently in her possession, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it or another timeline version of it becomes the Loki Show’s Loki′s weapon. 

Loki has lacked a ‘weapon of his own’ in the MCU for quite some time. I mean, yes, he has his little knives, but they are many and disposable and something he chose for himself, rather than the two legendary weapons wielded by Odin and Thor, Gungnir and Mjolnir. In fact, throughout his appearances, Loki has seemed to want such a thing of his own - he briefly had Gungnir, and then the Gungnir-like scepter, and even tried to lift Mjolnir.

One might ask why Odin would’ve overlooked such an obvious show of favouritism. Why give Thor a storied weapon and leave Loki empty-handed? Heck, even Hela had the Necroblade.

In Thor 1, we might’ve assumed that the Casket of Ancient Winters was perhaps intended one day to be given to Loki, as it is shown with Mjolnir in the Vault and thus connected to it and the children who would inherit it.  But in the comics, Odin did have another weapon of storied history put away for his second son: Gram the Sword.

It was locked for eons by Odin in a special vault which required five keys to be opened, and it was meant to be for Loki if he be worthy.[2] The five keys were infused by Odin with the powers of "journeys", "endurance", "secrets", "new beginnings", and "brotherhood", respectively.[3]

The sword, like everything else in comics, has a complicated history full of take-backs and twists, but let’s just leave it at ‘it’s a representation of Loki’s worthiness and belonging in the trifecta with Odin and Thor as a King of Asgard’. It gives him ‘equality’.

In the original mythology, it’s wielded by Sigurd to kill the dragon Fafnir, and the only relation it has to Loki is that Loki is partially responsible for Fafnir existing in the first place (my username is nod to this myth by the by. Sorry Ottär.) But hey, maybe that means we’re getting a dragon? The Fafnir would be very cool.

Or it could just be a bit of rebar in this mining quarry.

Then again...it appears somewhere else...

It’s easier to see in motion, but that’s a sword swinging on this person’s back.

So the hooded figure is this lady...shall we call her Amylkie? Does that mean she’s the antagonist of this show? Well...maybe, but I suspect the true antagonist is foreshadowed here  -

So, what’s going on here? A young girl (Young Amylkie? Some other TVA prisoner that the guard is watching over? An oracle, A Norn, or a kid who wandered off from the tour group in a basilica somewhere?) She’s giving Mobius M. Mobius a...piece of chocolate. Maybe he saw a Dementor, I dunno. I suspect it’ll be a MacGuffin of some kind later. He looks pretty concerned here, which contrasts with his ‘another day at the office’ blaséness when dealing with Loki. But of course this is the eye-catcher:

So, Norse Mythology. It’s been Christiannized. You can thank Snorri Sturluson for that, but you can google all about him later. Let’s just say that he made many Norse figures into equivalents for Christian ones. Baldur is Jesus, pure and a sacrificial lamb who dies for a greater good. And the devil is...Loki. Something the Marvel comics and the MCU have continued.

Here we have a devil, dressed in green and with a distinct shape on his chest:

Hmmm...wait...I know that weird horny shape...

Ah. I’d say that cinches it. This is meant to be Loki. If you look at the devil’s hair, it also resembles Loki’s, being shoulder-length and black.

So, what’s devil-Loki doing? Laying an egg? Trying out a foot massager? For a second I thought it was a moon, but we see the moon over his left shoulder, amongst the stars. Which means this is - probably the Earth.

...Dammit; I live there.

So Earth is barren and being devoured by flames, likely caused by this Loki sitting atop of it (in a throne, no less). Aw gee, things look pretty bad, don’t they?

But wait - what’s that? Under the Earth (and, possibly, under the earth)?

It’s a plant. A shoot, to be exact.

Back to Ragnarok for a second. Ragnarok isn’t the apocalypse (something we see a lot of in this trailer - all of it seems to be exploring the end of days). Ragnarok is the fire meant to wipe out the old and fertilize the ground for the new. And after the gods have died, what happens? Well, Baldur emerges from Hel, one of the only surviving gods (hmm, seems him dying worked out, didn’t it?). He’s joined by Líf and Lífþrasir, who are the new first man and woman, who’s names mean ‘Life’ and who are pictured, usually, with plants and new life. It is they who are tasked who growing a new Yggdrasil after the destruction of the old. The previous first man and woman are Ask and Embla, meaning Ash Tree and Vine/Elm tree, so there’s a theme there. 

So a new sprout, possibly a tree, growing out of the destruction of the old.

This fits with Loki’s role as understood in mythology. He checks the arrogance of the gods, including when they tried to achieve immortality (sorry, Baldur, nothing personal), and that keeps the gods at their best. After Loki is imprisoned, the gods become weak, unhelpful and foolish, and Yggdrasil starts to rot. Eventually Loki escapes and returns along with Surtur (who also resembles this figure) to burn it all to the ground. This is also referenced in Thor:Ragnarok, with Loki releasing Surtur in the Vault, a place of thematic importance to Loki and one that represents the hidden secrets and sins of Asgard). You could say Ragnarok continued into Infinity War, where Loki played an important part in aiding Thanos’ destruction, giving up the stone to protect his brother and essentially dooming the rest of the universe - but also ultimately leading to its salvation, even if, like Myth Loki, he wasn’t around to see it.

So, we see Amylkie literally start a fire in the trailer -

- in fact, this whole trailer is awash in flame -

It’s fire, fire everywhere and she’s setting them!

It’s possible Amylkie’s our big bad, but I think there’s a chance she’s either a red herring, or, much like how Loki ‘worked’ with Thanos in The Avengers, she is the pawn of a greater foe -

  - a Loki bent on destruction, for some reason or other. The TVA is obviously aware that this is the case, and it seems like they might be trying to ‘fight fire with fire’ by enlisting one Loki to combat another. The villain could be President Loki, since there's evidence of 2 Lokis in that scene - or maybe that's one of many Lokis, and the Big Bad Loki is being played by Hugh Grant as Old Loki. In any case, it would appear that Loki will be coming face-to-face with the worst versions of himself, and many of them. And, if I’m right about this scene:

...Loki will likely eventually discover that even his ‘good’ timeline ended in the destruction of his people and home, plus his own gruesome and torturous death. Although I think the TVA will keep that from him, and just show him the happy parts in an effort to inspire ‘good behaviour’. Until Loki inevitably discovers the rest of how that timeline played out and realize he’s been lied to. I don’t imagine he’ll take that very well...

Damn, even our ‘hero’ Loki is burning stuff down! Does this mean that Loki is doomed, always meant to be an avatar of death and toasty destruction?

Well...let’s go back to that stained glass.

Hmmm...wait...I know that weird horny shape...

And there’s something else...the bottom of the Earth is being lit up, and not by fire. Light appears to be coming off this little plant.

What colour is this plant again? That’s right, green. Green is the colour of new life and growth and change and...hang on, I’ve heard that before, too...

Hang on hang on HANG ON... let me have a look at the shape again.

That’s...a letter. An L? For Loki? Like in the title sequence?

Wait...no, a different letter. An older letter. After all, Loki is old Norse. How do you spell his name in that again?

ᛚᛟᚲ ᛁ -

And ENHANCE on that third letter!

This, my friends, is a Kenaz/Kaunaz, or what would become 'K' in our alphabet. It is also known as the 'Loki Rune' (and the Ulcer Rune, for some reason. I suspect Odin understands why). It’s used to spell his name, but is also used on his own to represent him. Heck, it's even his Superman 'S' in the comics:

Runes are more than letters - they are symbols for concepts. So what else does it mean?

Primarly, it means ‘torch’.

And also ‘knowledge’ (ken). As well as ‘growth, change, the search for truth, decay, arrogance, elitism, feminine, kinship and creativity.’

...Okay, that’s a lot, but you have to admit it fits.

More specifically, it means ‘Mastery of the Fire’. As in, someone who has learned to tame fire so that it is helpful, not harmful. To bring light and, symbolically, knowledge.

There’s another way Loki’s been associated with fire - in the Wagner Ring Cycle, Das Rheingold, the opera that inspired much the Thor films’ aesthetic and certainly their helmets, Loki is called ‘Loge’, which means ‘Fire’. He’s usually dressed to match, too -

Many trickster figures are associated with fire. They are usually called ‘Fire-bringers’ - See: Raven, Lucifer, Prometheus, etc. They are often complex figures with a foot in different worlds, but who nonetheless help mankind with the gift of ‘fire’ - although they usually pay for it, and tend to be self-destructive.

(Side note. Lucifer means light-bringer, which is what luciferase is named after. Because it glows. Which is helpful in labs. In case someone needed to know that.)

Moving from a destructive fire-starter to a fire-bringer seems like a great character arc for Loki to take, especially given his rehabilitation in pop culture, the comics, and even wider culture. Loki has gone from being seen as an evil, deviant, destructive character to one who’s seen as a patron of the arts and creativity, of stories rather than lies. Heck, some scholars of Norse Mythology even posit that he’s the closet thing to a protagonist Norse Mythology has, so I guess that backfired, Snorri!). Being dressed in green and with the sprout clearly also being stylized after his Kaunaz, there’s foreshadowing that he’ll be capable of growing good things even out of ashes.

So, to sum up: Being ‘Satan’ sounds pretty bad, but with a little letter re-arranging like we see in the title sequence, you can be...

...practically a saint. Maybe even a saviour.

Merry Christmas, everybody.

[angelanimedesaray]

Wings in the Dark Chapter 10:  Reparations

AN:  Yaaaaaayyyyy I got this one done.  For some reason I’ve been in a weird spot where I write more on my phone and my focus is better when I write on my phone, but I’m also super vulnerable to typos because AUTOCORRECT and its just harder for me to spot on the smaller screen with the tiny text, so excuse any typos.

Characters:  Levi, Fem!Vampire!Reader, Erwin, Petra, Oluo (Mentioned), Eld (Mentioned)

Pairing:  (Eventual) Levi x Fem!Vampire!Reader

Warnings:  Language.  Ikr, we just got super tame after a wiiild ride.

Word Count:  5124

<----Previous Chapter    Masterlist    Next Chapter---->

*Levi’s POV*

“I’ll admit, it would have been nice to know ahead of time that you were going to hijack the interrogation like that to antagonize her.”

Levi ignored the pointed jab at his actions down in the dungeons, gaze instead roaming around and taking stock of the people they past in a surveillance instinct too ingrained into his being by now for him to shut it off even going down the street towards a tea shop.

Considering L/N could hear so far out, even when she wasn’t paying attention, Erwin and Levi had decided to leave headquarters entirely to have this conversation.  Which was why they were now headed for a tea shop instead of Erwin’s office to discuss something so confidential.  Or at least their opinions on the situation, not necessarily the information itself.

"Did you at least get what you wanted out of it?" Erwin asked as they took seats at one of the outside tables.

"I did.  Mostly.  You?"

"I was skeptical when you told me, but after that little display of hers, she's clearly not human.  Not anymore."  Erwin leaned back in his seat and appraised Levi, their conversation pausing momentarily as they placed their order with the waitress that came outside to check on them.  Once she went back inside, Erwin continued.  "If you have more questions, why didn't you ask them before we left?"

"It had nothing to do with why we were there.  Personal curiosity. And it didn't seem like the time to ask."

Especially after he'd goaded her like that, making jabs at painful memories for her until she reacted, throwing harsh accusations at her semi-blindly and seeing if anything stuck.  The last thing she would want to do would be to give clarifying details about her past traumas to satiate his curiosity.

Her tale made her origins make more sense, but there were a few details that still weren't so clear to him.

The way she explained it, she was attacked and turned by a vampire the night before--for reasons unknown, he noticed.  She hadn't said why she was turned, or by who.  She'd actually glossed over that part and moved on--and then went home, not knowing what happened to her, thinking she was sick.  Her friend came to visit her, Y/N lost control, attacked and killed her, then fled.  He was sure there were details to make the tale far more gruesome, but this was what he knew for sure without letting his imagination run wild.

But then she'd shown up dead a few days later as well.  That was the part he was trying to figure out.

“Some deaths, okay, fine, I'll come back from it.”

So, she ran away after the initial panic, and then came back solely to fake her death so they wouldn't keep looking for her.

And by fake her death, she went for a...temporary death, something she would come back from.

But why go so far as to let herself be buried?  It was a closed casket funeral, so she could have snuck out before they sealed the casket and no one would have known.  Why wait?

He hadn't forgotten the fear and trauma in her eyes when she'd mentioned being buried alive was one of her deepest fears.  And now the mental image in his mind of a woman clawing desperately at a coffin, screaming for help while no one could hear her had a face to go with it, the face of someone he knew, no less.

It was humanly impossible to break out of a grave and crawl your way out.  But if you had vampire strength, and every time you suffocated from the lack of oxygen or the dirt crushing down on you and maybe even getting into your lungs...then it was possible. So long as you died a few times on the way up.

Shit...something like that had to do some damage to a person.

Not to mention what came after.  Forty years living in the Underground, roughly.  He'd only been down there a little over half the time she had.  And he hadn't spent it like she had--skulking in the shadows killing people because what she was demanded she kill to survive no matter where she was, and she couldn't go above ground not because it was denied to her, but because if she did she would literally die.  Yeah, he'd killed plenty of people in the Underground as well, but far less, and for a reason that was entirely different even if it could be worded the same.  He killed in fights because the Underground was that dangerous, or he was protecting people he cared about.  She had to actively hunt and kill people to...feed.

If she'd been in the Underground before he was even born...he wondered if they had ever crossed paths, and he just didn't remember.

Hell, with her criteria for who she hunted and killed, he was surprised she hadn't killed Kenny in all that time with him Underground.

Or maybe she had, after Kenny left.  It wasn't like Levi would know.  Though he was fairly certain the man had gone topside, which would mean out of her reach and away from her hunting grounds.

If only there was an alternative to her diet.  She’d laid out why it couldn’t be helped, and he understood that, they were good reasons.  But still, if there was another way...

“You're thinking about something rather hard over there, Levi,” Erwin commented, and Levi realized he’d been staring intently at the table and had even failed to notice that the waitress was in the process of delivering their tea.  Erwin was also watching him, though his hands were still in motion, his analytical gaze fixated on Levi’s still form.  Shaken out of his thoughts, Levi leaned back so he wasn’t leaning forward intently anymore, picking up his teacup to start drinking before it got cold.  Erwin waited until the waitress left to continue talking.  “Is it something I should know about her?  Another hunch, maybe?  The last one was mostly right.”

Levi snorted softly at that.  Mostly right his ass.  He’d been thinking murder and treason and assassinations, someone out to get them, someone seeking to harm people in the Scouts.  Ulterior motives and selfishness, malice.

Maybe the murder hadn’t been that far off, considering her body count, if he did the math right in his head.  And maybe she had been hiding a secret.  Perhaps she was dangerous, but so was Levi.  It didn’t mean she was an enemy.

“No,” he said curtly, putting an end to Erwin thinking Levi might be holding out on him regarding his suspicions after how off they’d both been about this situation.  “Like I said, it doesn't have to do with whether or not she's trustworthy and if she should be in the Scouts.  Just personal curiosity.”

“So you believe her?  About her intentions?” Erwin asked casually before taking a sip from his cup, eyes cast down as he spoke but flickering up to gauge Levi’s reaction once he finished speaking.

Levi eyed him because of the look on his face, but answered nonetheless.  “...I do.  She was sincere down there, some would say too honest.  Most people try to hide the fact they’ve killed hundreds--thousands--of people, or that they could kill the people who didn’t trust them without blinking an eye, but she was upfront about it.  She didn’t have to be.  She’s dangerous, that’s a reality no matter how you look at it, but she’s attempting to channel that into helping instead of just causing damage.”  Levi sighed, setting down his cup.  “I assumed a lot about her intentions and where she came from, and it's going to bite me in the ass.”

And he was probably going to have to put some effort into making amends after all this--especially with how he’d antagonized her down there and clearly crossed a boundary.  Several boundaries, actually.  And now that the moment had passed, the guilt was starting to settle in.  He’d accused her about some harsh stuff, some of which she was sensitive about, given her reactions.  She was the one who had to live with what she was, so he doubted someone going after the very things you might cling to in order to retain your humanity was something anyone would take kindly to.  After she saved his life--even if it had also been her that had almost killed him to begin with--after she protected him from herself and other vampires, even if he wasn’t aware, after she’d gone out of her way to learn from and appease the entire squad, after going through years of training to get where she was now, after putting so much at risk when she could have stayed safely in the shadows, after trying so hard to find a place topside, he’d jabbed at pretty much everything.  Her basic motives, her humanity, her intentions, her personality, everything.

He had a lot of damage control to do moving forward if they were going to keep working together.  He sincerely hoped he’d only damaged the well and hadn’t poisoned the water.  A damaged well he could fix, but a poisoned water supply…

Levi’s gaze narrowed at Erwin as he realized the other man still hadn’t said anything, his suspicions solidifying.

“What about you?  Do you think she’s a risk you’re willing to take?” Levi asked, echoing her words from down in the dungeon Levi had immediately known would catch Erwin’s attention.

“I am a man who likes a good gamble,” Erwin said with a bittersweet smile, resting his cheek on his fist as he considered the situation before them.  “As long as she’s not attacking other Scouts, she’s trying to keep her bloodlust under control, she’s not causing problems for or bringing more danger upon the Scouts...I don’t see why we shouldn’t let her stay.  From the sounds of it, having a vampire willingly join our ranks wanting to use all those abilities to help our cause is a once in a lifetime chance.  She’s offering it on a silver platter.  As long as she can keep herself under control, which she’s been able to do so far, I say we take her up on her offer.”

“And if she can’t?  If something happens and she loses control?” Levi asked, eyebrows raised.  She’d said it herself, she was a threat, there was always a chance something could happen, and that shouldn’t be forgotten.  But what would they do if she did slip up with no sign of being able to correct herself before it got out of hand?

“Then she’ll be our responsibility to take care of,” Erwin said evenly, gazing at Levi in a way that made him believe Levi would be the one to take care of her if she stepped out of line.  He had the best chance, yes, but it would still be risky.  “Hopefully we won’t have to kill her if anything goes wrong, she’s valuable, and it would be a huge setback to lose her vampire abilities...but if it ever comes to that…”

“It won’t be a problem,” Levi said flatly.  He meant that in the matter of conflict of interest, not that killing her if it ever came to that wouldn’t be difficult.

Erwin nodded.  “She stays in the Scouts, then.  I’ll have to factor in all this new information about where best to put her.  She probably shouldn’t be anywhere near medical, for her sanity’s sake.  And Levi?”  Levi fixed him with a stare as if to ask what the hell was up with his change of tone, which Erwin ignored.  “Considering the strangling tension between the two of you down in the dungeon, are you going to ease up now that you have the story--for the most part--or do I need to switch her to a different squad?”

Levi scoffed.  “I’m not going to apologize for being angry about the fact that she kills people, Erwin.”

“It's not like she has much of a choice, from the sound of it.  And she’s doing rather well, given her situation.  A lot of thought had to have gone into coming topside and joining the Scouts, how to pull it off.  She was ready with those questions, and considering she wasn’t planning on us figuring out what she was, that means she already went over those questions herself.  She’s going with what she believes to be the best route, and considering she’s more of an expert on the subject than we’ll probably ever be…”

Levi waved him off--he didn’t need this explanation, he already knew this.  She wasn’t going to prey on innocent people, she couldn’t afford to downgrade her diet too much considering she needed to be in peak health and control fighting in the Scouts, and she couldn’t just stop unless she wanted to die a slow and agonizing death.

Starvation over decades, maybe even centuries��

Regular starvation was bad enough, he knew that from personal experience.  He couldn’t imagine going out like that--he wouldn’t wish that on anyone.  Especially self-inflicted.

Levi’s gaze wandered to the few people in the street, moving idly from one person to the next, not really paying them any attention beyond basic people watching as he brought himself to his decision.

While he understood her position, that didn’t mean he was entirely comfortable with it.  But was he willing to try and make this work, to keep her on his squad--this time as his decision, not a decision Erwin made in the name of surveillance--and see if things could still work out despite the mess this entire ordeal had turned into that almost ended in his death.

Was it a damaged well, or poisoned water?

Was he going to cut his losses, or try to fix this?

“...Don’t put her on another squad,” he finally told Erwin.  “She’ll still have her skills put to the best use with my Squad.  I’ll figure out how to deal with...everything.”

He was going to try and make this work, despite the current friction between them.

The only question now, was how?

Erwin was the one to tell L/N that she was staying in the Scouts, of course, and by extension he was also the one to tell her she'd remain on Levi's squad, and that it was Levi's job to keep an eye on her and make sure she stayed in line.  As for Levi, it was back to business as usual while Erwin handled speaking with L/N.

And two days later, Levi abruptly decided that everyone was going to do a deep clean of HQ, assigning everyone at least one room, with L/N having two considering how fast and how well she cleaned, and himself having three so that he had plenty of time to think while he was cleaning.

Now that his concerns about betrayal and deceit had been assuaged, he could finally allow the softer sides of her he’d glimpsed to settle in his mind, too.  Between the darker side he now had a better picture of and the person he’d been seeing since she joined the Scouts, he could finally form a more complete picture of the new person on his squad and start to decide what he thought of her.

Any lingering concepts in his mind that she wasn’t up to the job went out the window--except for a general concern about her being around too much blood.  She hadn’t been in the middle of a truly hairy expedition with people dying left and right.  She’d been struggling when he was bleeding out in front of her--what would it be like when there were people dying bloody all around her?

Then again, she’d already pointed out that his blood was particularly alluring.

That was still an odd thing to think about--he was probably going to do his best not to think about it.

He wasn’t too worried about her being able to hand the more...psychological stresses of being a Scout.  If she could handle being directly responsible for death, and being around it so much after living in and hunting in the Underground, she might fare better than most in the environment.

If it hadn't been the sharper, harder edge he'd seen to her personality in the dungeon, the knowledge of the things she'd already seen and been through, he'd be worried she had too soft of a temperament and personality for the Scouts.  It had been what he'd seen from her before the whole vampire thing came out.

She was the woman who went out of her way to comfort the horses and make sure they knew they could trust her.  Who sat in the field with the horses and simply soaked in the sun's rays while drawing whatever she could see--namely horses, at least once the man who had been watching her, yet she never said a word.  She was the woman with a tea garden in a hidden corner of the Scout’s headquarters so that she could save more of her salary...and use it to shelter and provide for the parents who didn't know, and would probably never know, they're daughter was still alive.   The woman who snuck treats out to the horses from her own plate, who'd gotten at least half of Levi’s squad drinking their tea with a bit of white sage for health purposes--only Levi aware of just how much it was actually doing for them.  The one who had asked for a different kind of lesson or tutoring from each squad member so they wouldn’t feel like she was some air-headed newbie that thought she was better than everyone because she was put on a fast track to Levi’s squad fresh out of the cadets, so that they could feel like they were still teaching her something, that she was learning from them.  She was the kind of person who made little gestures like covering him with her cloak when she saw him asleep at the table without a second thought, or timing a fresh cup of black tea almost perfectly to help keep him alert when despite his insomnia he would start to feel tired in the middle of the day, who'd risked the loss of a leg to make sure Eld wouldn't get hurt even after Levi killed the Titan, and who had saved his life even though, at the time, doing so was a great risk to her, because he could put a swift end to the life she'd been trying to build above ground.

She was a good person at heart.  Complicated as hell, still dangerous and a risk, and she had her skeletons, her demons and dark secrets, her flaws...but still, a good person at heart.

He’d been watching her closely long enough to pick up on all of that and then some, even if he’d tucked most of it away for later evaluation considering at the time he was worried it might be a front for some insidious ulterior motive.

And he had to do something to try and mend the relationship they had.  They couldn't function as part of a squad with all this tension and friction, let alone as captain and subordinate, definitely not as a team.  There had to be some level of trust if they were going to be working together in the future, and right now, there was pretty much none, mostly because of him.  And he had to be the one to make a first step towards repairing the damage that he had inflicted so that they could start building at least the groundwork of a working trust in one another.  They would need it when they went out in the field, because all that raw ability meant nothing if they couldn’t function with each other.

Levi scrubbed harder at the stone floor, seeing his fingertips turn pale with the rest of his hands red from the hot soapy water and the pressure he was putting on the brush.

"Captain?"

Levi sighed, leaning back and putting the brush back into the water, turning and lowering the cloth over his face to look over at Petra standing in the doorway with a broom in hand.

"Oluo says he's done with his room, he's just waiting for your inspection," she informed him, though the look on her face was enough to tell him he'd be telling Oluo to do it all over again as soon as he saw it.

"I'll do it when I'm finished," Levi answered, raising the cloth over his face and pulling out the brush to start scrubbing again.  "Tell him to make sure he's finished while he waits."

"Yes, Captain," Petra said with a small nod, turning to leave.

"Has L/N finished with her two rooms?" Levi asked before she could leave entirely, focused on a new spot of stone as he spoke instead of looking up at her.

"Yes, sir.  She actually went outside, out front, to do some extra cleaning while she waited for you to be ready to inspect the rooms."

She was also really good at cleaning.  She had to be, right?  She'd lived below ground longer than he had, and her senses were extra sensitive.  One bad smell must be torture for her, the dust probably setting off her sensitive nose with the slightest buildup, her sight probably making it easier to pick out grime, and her speed making her a faster cleaner than anyone here--when she didn't have to slow down because she was being watched by someone who didn't know what she was.  No wonder she was so damn good at cleaning, why he hadn't found any flaws with it to date.

It almost felt like cheating to him, for some reason.

He pressed unnecessarily hard down on the brush again, feeling the bristles bend and strain slightly in the brush, his fingertips turning pale again.

"Tell her when she's finished with whatever she's doing right now to come up here," Levi told Petra, offering no more explanation as he continued scrubbing at the floor.

“Yes, sir.”

Petra left after that, and Levi focused on the room around him--his third room, mind you, and he was almost done.  His hands were red, a little raw, too, but it wasn’t anything serious.  He just kept getting lost in his thoughts while he was cleaning, and instead of calming down like he normally did when he cleaned, he’d tense up at those moments where he got lost in his thoughts.  He was going over his attempt at a peace offering over and over again, well aware that he wasn’t the best...people person, that communication on a social or emotional level was not his strong suit.  But he was hoping the intention behind the gesture would be clear.  She wasn’t an idiot--she was smart.  There was a decent chance she’d be able to see what he was trying to do.

Hopefully.

Levi was just starting to finish up, finishing with a bit of polish on the metal in the room when L/N finally made her appearance, standing in the doorway with similar cleaning additions to her uniform as him, though she had an apron on that was currently tucked up and into her straps to keep any dirt from falling onto the floor while she walked.

She must have been doing some garden and yard work, then.  Pulling weeds or something like that out front.  At least she wasn’t tracking dirt everywhere, from what he could see--and his eyes were scanning her and her surroundings carefully to make sure she wasn’t about to ruin his hard work.

“You wanted to see me, Captain?” she asked formerly, keeping her gaze fixed on him instead of letting it wander around the room at anything other than him.

That was a start, at least.  He’d be worried this entire rebuilding the bridge thing wouldn’t work out well if she couldn’t even look him in the eyes.

But the tension was still there, thick and uncomfortable, enough to put even him on edge.  There was a distance in her posture, a different kind of guarded than when he’d been snooping around and watching her every move.  Like she was hyper-aware of what he was going to think of her moving forward.

He was still coming to a decision about that one, honestly.

“You’re going to start training with me,” Levi said with no lead up, causing her eyebrows to raise in surprise, opening her mouth like she was about to ask questions before she quickly closed it again, since he continued to talk as if her reaction didn’t phase him in the slightest or give him any kind of pause.  “You’ve got some things to work on before the next expedition.  Two lessons a day, sparring and ODM gear.  Make sure you make the time for it.”

“Ah, Captain...I’m not sure if I...should…” she said hesitantly, caught between obeying what was close to a command from her Captain and a reluctance to take him up on the lessons because...what, was the tension that bad for her that she didn’t think she could train with him?  Did she not want to be anywhere near him any more than she already was?  Did she think she would make him uncomfortable?  Did she not like the thought of being alone with him?

That was a viable concern, actually.

Or maybe she just thought there wasn’t anything he could teach her.

On the contrary--she’d said herself that she was having trouble with the ODM gear.  She’d said one of her risks was that she reacted too fast for the gear to keep up with her, sometimes.  That was a problem, especially in a situation where one needed to rely on instincts--how could you rely on instincts while also trying to muffle them to lower to the level of the gear, or nearby people?

She needed help finding the middle ground, or at least training herself to instinctually pace herself so she didn’t outpace the gear in an emergency.  Like she’d pointed out herself, that kind of mistake could be the difference between life and death, even for her.

As for the sparring...well, the only people here that came close to matching their skills was each other.  Who else were they going to spar besides each other?  Besides, it would be refreshing to have someone he could actually go all out on that would be a challenge for him.  He was sure the same applied for her, now that she didn’t have to hold back to keep her secret hidden.

If that had been the reason she’d thrown the fight the first time they’d sparred.

Plus, all that raw strength and speed meant nothing if she didn’t know how to use it.  He could still teach her things, show her some techniques she could use in a fight, that kind of thing.

Is offer to teach her was his way of offering an olive branch to her...and he didn’t take too kindly to her starting to turn down the offer.

Levi narrowed his eyes slightly at her as she continued to cast about for a solid excuse to turn him down.  Most people here would kill for one on one lessons from him--a fact he was well aware of.  Yet here she was, proving just how out of the ordinary she was as she seemed to be beyond just the vampire thing, trying to weasel out of it.  “What?  Don’t think you have anything to learn because you’re so naturally gifted?” he asked in a jab much softer than his accusations during their interrogation.

“No, it’s just…” she started to say with a frustrated sigh, looking over her shoulder like she was looking at someone, even though no one was there.  “Eld’s already giving me ODM gear lessons…”

Was that really it?  He doubted it.  Yes, Eld was teaching her a few things, Levi was aware, but it wasn’t the same as what Levi was offering to teach her.  And it wasn’t a reason to turn him down in the first place.  Just another excuse.  Unless she was really worried about what the others would think if she got not only one daily private lesson with Levi, but two.  As much as Levi was usually of the opinion “To hell what other people think,” this one he could see where she was coming from if it was the case.  She’d just gotten the others to warm up to her despite their grumbling and cold shoulders after the extremely green rookie got sped through all the tape and obstacles right into Levi’s Squad while they put in hard work and were hand picked by Levi after some time in the Scouts after displaying their own strengths and skills over a period of time.  It must have looked like favoritism--and Levi giving her double private lessons wasn’t going to help anything.

It didn’t change the fact that she still needed them or could benefit from them.  And that it was a way for them to start making amends...in a roundabout way.

“ODM techniques.  Special maneuvers:  team and solo, correct?” Levi asked, mostly rhetorically, though she still nodded in confirmation.  Levi moved over to the table he was keeping his cleaning supplies on, starting to pack up his things so he could leave to start doing inspections of everyone’s designated rooms.  “I’m not going to be teaching you what Eld is.  You said you were having problems with reacting too fast for the gear, right?”

Levi spoke pointedly, giving her a sidelong glance so he could gauge her reaction and she could see he was serious about this--and that he didn’t have any ulterior motives.  She didn’t protest again.  She still looked a little uncomfortable, possibly because of the bump this could cause with the others once they found out, maybe because it meant the two of them were going to be spending more time with one another and they were going to have to get over this tension between them really quickly if they didn’t want to end up at each other’s throats trying to kill each other, but she didn’t protest anymore.

“Four a.m. in the woods for hand to hand.  Two hours before dinner on the training grounds for the ODM gear.  Don’t be late,” Levi told her, taking his supplies and leaving her behind in the room as his way of dismissing her.

Now to go yell at Oluo for not getting his cleaning job done properly, most likely.

Next Chapter---->

(Strikethroughs Couldn’t Be Tagged)

Levi Tags:  @humanitys-hottestsoldier @clary-quinn @sunny-flo​ @whalerus​  @thirstyforsometea

Wings in the Dark Tags:  @regalillegal @animeluver23 @theshylittleelfgirl @queenthorin1 @dilucs-thighs @sociallyanxiousmouse @subtlepjiminie @hakunamatatayqueen​ @queenofcurse @linxiajei17 @levisbebe @toni-jones

[asterdeer]

talked about agency and dignity in my tags but what it actually is is identity i think? any time loki actually gets some whiff of deeper character stuff a lot of it is about, like, roles and traits he's been assigned, either by birth or by other people - second prince, brother, jotun, unworthy, thanos's puppet, grandmaster's lackey, etc etc etc - and as much as he does what he can within those bounds, he usually falls short and makes no one happy least of all himself (and the one time he does he is narratively punished by gruesome death like five minutes later). so like......... idk. imagine you're loki and every attempt to figure out your place in life ends in miserable failure, you've died like three times because of it, so you're starting over AGAIN and then this hot beefy hunk covered in his own blood drops into your life and you're like "it would be soooo easy to walk away but, just to spice things up, what if i didn't" so you drag him back with you and heal him up and it's SO weird having someone around again, just like, existing in the same space as you and they aren't trying to kill you or order you around or put you into a tidy little box that goes underneath them in whatever hierarchy they like best. they're just there. you have Just Some Guy around, and you did that, you chose to do that. suddenly this is who you are, of your own volition you have saved a life, and when was the last time that happened? and there is no title for this, no name, no box you can even put yourself. it's just.... you, a potential you, the beginning of a path you can take that you've never taken before. and like. why not take it now? you're ready for something new that might not end with a sword in your chest or a hand around your throat. and he's hot, so, you know.

a lot of steveloki fics start with steve saving loki from some grievous injury and nursing him back to health and for lack of a better word Fixing Him but i kind of want to do a fic where loki saves and helps steve convalesce instead and grows when he’s fully in control of the situation and himself

[duhragonball]

Hellsing Liveblog Ch. 51-56

This is the “Seras Coming of Age” part of Hellsing, but the chapters are all one-off titles: “Last Mission”, “Get Away”, “Yaksa”, “The Man I Love”, “Ogre Battle”, and “Angelous,”

Last time, Zorin Blitz’s company invaded the Hellsing HQ, and Seras managed to kill them all except for Zorin herself, and then she used her psychic whammy, forcing Seras to relive some traumatic moment.   We saw one of the Wild Geese get this same treatment, and he briefly saw his dead daughter before Zorin killed him.  As for Seras, she relives the deaths of her parents.   Years ago, two guys barged into their home and shot them.   The circumstances aren’t entirely clear, but they must have had some forewarning, since Seras’ mom hid her in a closet and told her not to come out no matter what.   But when she saw what they did to them, Seras became so enraged that she attackedthe men and stabbed one in the eye with a fork.  

The other guy shot Seras, and while she must have survived, she remembers laying on the floor as the guy she stabbed decides to rape her mother.   I’m not even sure “rape” is the right word, since she was already dead, but the guy doesn’t care because the body is “still warm.”   You’d think he’d be too upset about losing an eye, but maybe he’s high on cocaine or something.

I don’t think you need me to tell you this, gentle reader, but hol-ee shit this dark.   We knew Seras’ parents died when she was young, and it wouldn’t be hard to speculate that they died in some violent crime, but Seras watched it happen, and she stabbed a dude in the face, only to get shot herself, and she watched her mother’s body getting molested before she passed out.  

And this gives us some insight into what Alucard saw in her that night in Cheddar.  There, Seras was surrounded by ghouls, many of them her comrades in the police department, and a vampire who promised to rape her before drinking her blood.   Alucard found it remarkable how she persevered in this horror, but now we see that may not even be the worst thing that ever happened to her.  It’s not even the first time she got shot!  

And from the earlier flashback we saw, Seras was hellbound to become a police officer like her father.  After a trauma like this, it’s amazing that she’d want anything to do with the police, since those men killed her father for digging “too deep” into whatever they were involved in.  But Seras quietly, defiantly chose to follow in her father’s footsteps, only to suffer a similar fate. 

Because, let’s not forget, Seras is dead.   She died in Cheddar, because Alucard had to shoot through her to kill the vampire who had taken her hostage.   Then she agreed to become a vampire like him, and join the Hellsing Organization.   Once more, she has quietly, defiantly, chosen to carry on in this life of public service.  

But none of that matters to Zorin Blitz.   She just wanted to dredge up all this trauma to keep Seras preoccupied long enough for Zorin to do this...

Oh, also she lopped off Seras’ left arm, but I liked this impalement panel better. 

On top of that, Zorin slashes Seras’ eyes, which was pretty gruesome and shocking.   When I started watching the Hellsing Ultimate OVA, I couldn’t wait to see what happened next, so I trawled YouTube for clips of Seras, so I had a pretty good idea where the character was headed, and noticed that late-story Seras was missing a left arm.   So Zorin cutting it off didn’t surprise me much, but everything else she did to her was a surprise.

Then, just as Zorin seems to be ready to finish Seras off, Pip Bernadotte gets the drop on her and whacks her with the butt of his rifle.    Machine gun?   Semiautomatic?   I don’t know from guns.    He hits her with it, is my point.   Then he shoots her with a different gun to put the exclamation point on it.

There’s two other guys left in the Wild Geese, and they toss smoke grenades to cover Pip as he tries to carry Seras to safety, but he’s wounded, and then a Millennium soldier wakes up and shoots him in the thighs.   Was that guy playing possum?  The Geese take him out, and Pip even makes it back to them, but I’m not sure what good that does anybody.   Then Zorin gets back up and cuts him down with her scythe.    I don’t think she chops him in half or anything, but he’s not getting back up again, that’s for sure. 

Seras calls out to him, and he steals another kiss.   I guess he forgot about the last time, because he acts like he “finally” managed to do this.   Then he asks Seras to drink his blood, which will allow her to win.   I guess someone must have explained enough vampire lore to Pip for him to have figured this out.    Maybe Seras herself told him how it worked, which makes it doubly-meaningful for him to say this to her now.  

And Seras starts wailing with grief, before Zorin finally mocks her for it, calling Pip an insect.   I’ve seen a few people poke fun at this scene, because it’s kind of weird for Zorin to just stand by while Pip and Seras have this final moment together, but Zorin’s a sadist.   Much of what she’s done in these past several chapters has been about reveling in her enemies’ suffering.    She took her sweet time with Seras earlier, which was the only reason Pip managed to help her, and now she’s taking her sweet time again, like she’s enjoying this drama. 

So Zorin uses her psychic whammy again, but this time it doesn’t work on Seras.   Maybe because Seras is already in the middle of a terrible trauma in the here and now.   She couldn’t do anything to avenge her parents back then, and she was powerless against the Cheddar Priest, but this time?   This time she knows exactly what to do.

VENIT AEVUS ILLE, O MESSIAH, O MESSIAH

YUDULIYA-VELE YUDULIYA-VELE

EN ESE MOMENTO ZORIN BLITZ SINTIO EL VERDADERO TERROR.

So yeah, this rocks.    The anime version does this cool thing where all the blood soaks up into her clothes and stains them red.   Maybe the manga was going for the same thing, but it’s harder to tell in black and white.   I find it kind of strange how Seras’ eyes grow back, but her left arm does not.    I’m pretty sure she could reform her arm, but chooses not to.   Instead, she’s got this black ectoplasm-y thing, like the same black stuff that Alucard uses when he’s not holding back as much.

Then Seras starts slaughtering Zorin’s men.   Didn’t she already kill them all?  Yeah, but there’s more.   The anime tries to cover for this by having Zorin explain that some “late arrivals” showed up.  Well, they did have to enter the building single file to get past the mines, so it makes sense that Zorin would keep some in reserve in case there were more traps inside. 

Seras is my favorite character in this whole thing, and since these pages of her kickin’ ass speak for themselves, I guess I’ll talk about why I like her so much.    I’m pretty sure I saw a cosplay photo of her on tumblr, and I found the design intriguing.   She’s a vampire, but dressed in something like a military uniform, kind of like the “Bridge Bunnies” in Macross. I looked up Seras to find out what she was from, and I was like “Oh, Hellsing was the show Team Four Star has been abridging, I guess I need to watch that anyway so I can watch the Abridged version and get the jokes.”

Mostly, I just like the idea of a vampire with a very professional mentality, as opposed to the whole Lost Boys/What We Do in the Shadows/Buffy kind of aesthetic.    Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but we see that sort of thing all the time.   I’ve also seen a lot of “reluctant” vampires in my time.    Vampires who try to avoid doing any vampire stuff, or going about their business like the vampirism is just this inconvenient obstacle.   Hellsing presents this other option, where vampires like Alucard are used for the purpose of anti-vampire countermeasures.   He’s been turned into a weapon, but he’s basically just Dracula with a fresh coat of paint.   Seras is more firmly rooted in the concept.  Alucard was a vampire who became a sort of cop, and Seras is a cop who became a vampire. 

And while I liked the idea of Seras being like “Oh, well I didn’t want to be a vampire but I’ll try to make the best of it”, I quickly found out that she wasn’t just a cop with pointy teeth.   There’s moments where she can be scary and creepy too.   “Sir, yes sir, my Master.”  It sums her up very neatly.   This is a vampire who can be polite and respectful and professional, but she can also get very deep into the more horrific aspects of this thing.   She’s got layers.  Zorin Blitz tried to peel them back, and look how that’s working out for her.

Once the rank and file goons are dealt with, Seras goes after Blitz, and just wrecks her shit.   Blitz tries to punch Seras in the face and it does nothing.   Seras just bites all her fingers off and spits ‘em out.   Then she announces that she refuses to drink Zorin’s blood, not a single drop. This is important, because Seras was always reluctant to drink blood.  She said she feared that drinking blood would mean the end of something inside of her, but now she’s crossed that Rubicon.   One might suspect that she’d suddenly want to drink more blood, but no.  She drank Pip’s as a means to an end.   Zorin’s blood would serve no higher purpose, and I think there’s an implication that she doesn’t want to dishonor Pip’s sacrifice.  Desperate, Zorin tries to use her power on Seras a third time, and then this happens:

  Okay, so at first Zorin sees Seras’ memories, like before, but now there’s all this stuff from Pip’s memories, and then Warrant Officer Shrodinger, of all people, shows up.   Zorin is confused by this, but he explains that he’s “everywhere and nowhere,” which means he can appear in this psychic vision just as easily as he can teleport between Brazil and England.

Schrodinger is here to pass along a message from the Major.  See, Zorin disobeyed his orders, and he would normally punish her for this, but he and the Doctor are busy with a “most interesting toy”, so they’ll just leave it to Seras to take care of punishing Zorin.  

Yesterday, I think I figured out what Zorin’s disobedience was.    Before I was confused because she didn’t start attacking until Seras opened fire on her blimp, and that only happened because Seras was shooting at the rockets fired by the Major.   Everything that Zorin did afterwards could be considered a matter of self-defense, but therein lies the problem.    Namely, what was Zorin’s blimp doing in the line of fire to begin with?  

Because once Seras shot her down, everything Zorin did next was sort of her only option.   She pretty much had to attack the mansion, and brave its defenses, whatever those happened to be.   And the Major knew that this was a big unknown.   He warned Zorin about Seras Victoria and while he didn’t seem to know exactly what her abilities were, he regarded her as an “arch-enemy” on the same level as Alucard.  That’s why he wanted Zorin to hold off and wait for the rocket attack.   It was intended to probe the mansion’s defenses, and once it became clear that they had anti-aircraft guns, and that Seras was eagle-eyed enough to shoot down their rockets, then the Major could have ordered Zorin to find a different way.   

But instead she was too close and gave Seras a target, which precipitated everything else, up to and including this:

Yeah, Seras just drags Zorin across the walls until her whole head smears apart.   Cool!

With Zorin dead, Seras delcares her intention to take the fight to the enemy, and the last three Wild Geese salute her before she leaves.   One way or another, they realize that Pip has become a part of Seras now, and they pay their last respects to him through her. 

Then Seras flies toward London, using her left arm-thing to make cool bat wings.    And this is a good illustration of what Seras is all about.  Once, she might have been horrified at the thought of doing something like this, but now she sees it as a way to carry on with her duty.    This was what Alucard had been trying to get her to understand, but sometimes you just have to work these things out in your own way.   Seras is about utility, and now that she has a use for these vampiric powers, she’s finally prepared to embrace them as her own.

In London, Schrodinger reports back to the Major and informs him of Zorin Blitz’s death.  He’s not surprised, and even declares “our ruin has begun”.   Schrodinger points out that he’s leading everyone, friend and foe alike, into destruction, and the Major simply observes that this is war.   Millennium didn’t come to London to win, they came to London to fight.

Then the Ninth Crusade shows up.  Recall that, earlier, Enrico Maxwell organized a military response to deal with the Millennium invasion of London, but he hasn’t come here to save the civilian population.   Instead, he’s treating them as enemies, just like the Nazi vampires.    Somehow, there’s still living people in the city, and as dawn approaches, they see Maxwell’s helicopters putting off some sort of light show.  I don’t know what you call this, but the people on the ground think it’s angels, and then Maxwell orders his men to open fire.

I want to point out that the newly promoted Archbishop Maxwell is riding into this battle in a special truck with a glass box for him to sit in.   He’s surrounded by microphones so he can address his troops and the people below.   Also the truck is hanging from a helicopter.   It’s stupid and pointless and over-the-top, so naturally the Major is highly impressed with Maxwell’s style. 

[thesmpisonfire]

SO LITTLE HOPE AU HUH

TW: S/icide mention, death, manipulation, dark topics

Warning: Little Hope spoilers ahead lol

General timeline:

Tales of the SMP: The Village That Went Mad; slightly modified (Helga murdered first (stabbed to death), Bob and Jack are still the murderers, slight modifications to character list to add Lmanburg Revolutionary Doppelgangers. Cat is drowned, Robin is burned, William is hung, Theodore impaled on a fence, child-Fundy-doppelganger-with-no-name is left to starve.)

A lot of time passes

Cornelius changes his name to Dream.

Dream meets George and Sapnap.

DreamSMP is created.

All members present before the Lmanburg War are invited.

Disc War.

Dreamon possesses Dream.

Lmanburg Revolution.

Lmanburg Revolution falls; Eret betrays them, “Dream” (the dreamon) kills most of the revolutionaries in various ways (usually matching the way their doppelgangers died in the past, which is mostly to further torment Cornelius/the real Dream because he can’t do anything about it) and captures Tommy. Tommy is on his last life and has been placed in jail

3 years pass, “Dream” grows continually more evil and begins to kill anyone who gets in his way even slightly, including Corpse. He keeps Tommy updated on the situation outside of the jail, in an attempt to break him without actively physically hurting him (it’s no fun if your toy dies at the end).

At the beginning of his imprisonment, Tommy blames Eret and Dream; however, over the next three years, his perception slowly twists until he fully blames himself for everything. After all, if he’d never got those discs, none of this would have ever happened. If he hadn’t been so stubborn, everyone would still be alive… (Or so he thinks, anyway. In truth, “Dream” probably would have killed them anyway later on.)

“Dream” invites Technoblade, intending to spawntrap him and kill him, but Technoblade declines.

Tommy hears of the news and decides to try and reach Technoblade. (For clout)

Tommy attempts escape 2 times, and fails both times.

Tommy escapes.

Tommy smashes his head on a branch, passes out, begins hallucinating when he wakes up.

Hallucination timeline:

Bus crashes offscreen, Thomas wakes up with no memory other than what he dreamed after he was knocked out in the crash.

He is woken up by Tyler and William, who are concerned but conclude that he has a severe concussion. Thomas notices a burn scar on Tyler’s neck and comments on it, Tyler passes it off as it having come from the crash.

The group reunites with each other. When they attempt to go back to the bus, the thick fog returns them back to where they started, so they travel towards town in search of help, which is the only place where the road has no fog.

On the road towards town, Thomas and Hilda inspect a strange doll on the road, noticing a small child with fox ears and a fox tail standing in the woods looking sad. The child rushes them, and they are pulled into the past, where someone who looks exactly like Hilda (Helga) is seen yelling at her husband and at “Shrimpy”, both of whom look angry.

They find a small bar on the way, where a young man is getting absolutely hammered (this is Sapnap, but they don’t know that). He only responds when Thomas talks to him, but Thomas doesn’t put two and two together about that, and they quickly leave the bar in favor of making progress.

They reach the town, and the group splits up into two: Thomas and William on one team, and all the other on the other team. Thomas and William search the police station, while the others look for a different way out.

Uhhh early game stuff happens, Hilda and Thomas go back to the past and see Helga stabbed, Helga’s weird demon corpse starts hunting them. Cool I guess.

Repeat this process with everyone else, they’re still trying to find a way out, but they keep being dragged back to the past by the weird demon child, and watching doppelgangers of themselves die in vaguely gruesome ways. (Thomas feels like he’s missing something.) Every time a doppelganger dies, a new demon corpse starts hunting them.

From here, either the whole group survives until morning, or some (or all) of them die. Depending on how many members are left alive at the end, the ending changes

The bad ending would be “Dream” recapturing Tommy when he stops hallucinating, leading to either Tommy’s permanent death (if Thomas was killed by his corpse demon doppelganger…thing…) or Tommy spending the rest of his final life in jail (if he didn’t die at the end of the hallucination). This ending requires the entire party to die.

The best ending would be for Ranboo to find Tommy before he stops hallucinating. Once Tommy stops hallucinating, Ranboo talks to him about leaving the SMP, and the two of them will leave together. Tommy probably comes to terms with the fact that it wasn’t his fault that all his friends died. This requires every member of the party to stay alive.

Neutral ending is if one or more dies, but not the whole party. Tommy wakes up alone, depending on how many people died, he’ll either commit s/icide or he’ll leave the server alone, off to god knows where.

Hallucination characters:

Tubbo > Tyler > Robin (Tanya > Taylor > Tessa (?)) Traits: Anxious, paranoid

Tommy > Thomas > Theodore (Anthony > Andrew > Abraham) Traits: Impulsive, stubborn

Wilbur > William > William but twice (James > John > Joseph) Traits: Coercive, worrier

Corpse > Callum > Cat/unnamed (Dennis > Daniel > David) Traits: Apathetic, monotone

Quackity is there also I guess? > Hilda > Helga (Anne > Angela > Amy) Traits: Arrogant, aggressive, sexy

If you’re wondering why most of these traits are negative, it’s because these are like the starting traits from Little Hope! In the beginning, they’re locked; you can unlock them by doing certain actions in-game. If more than one is locked at the end of the game, then that character will die.

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OMG THIS IS SO AMAZING AND DETAILED OMG

I CANT BELIEVE TUMBLR ATE THIS MASTERPIECE BEFORE HOLY FUCK-

[prompt-master]

Consider: angst for the less popular characters in dr. Aka - write a list of the characters you haven't really talked about and list what type of angst/whump you think fits them.

I live to please lets do it

Owada Monda: I 🥺 I think a lot about how Owada said he would give up his talent and become a carpenter in the Escape Button Ending. It feels so right. He's letting go of the past and his guilt to live a new life.

Ishimaru Kiyotaka: ishimaru likely fears that breaking the rules will lead you on the wrong path like his grandfather, so his obsession comes from a sense of protecting. He likely would panic if he ever broke a real, feeling like himself is becoming a bad person.

Fujisaki Chihiro (note: i use all pronouns for fujisaki): i think its really tragic how Fujisaki's father died before finding out what happened to his kid. He clearly loved Fujisaki, and accepted that she presented as female wholeheartedly. To die without ever knowing...even if the truth is gruesome...

Celestia Ludenburg: this might be TOO obvious but for Celeste to rewrite her entire identity into this character she must have a of insecurities. We know she wanted more than anything to feel special. I like to think that overtime with her friends she becomes more comfident in herself while also keeping the gothic lolita look simply because she likes it

Yamada Hifumi: a lot of people like to call Yamada a creep and nothing else and I am here to dispel such claims. He is not the best written character but. I think a lot of people are too harsh on him. Think about it, for Yamada to know Celeste's real name she had to have geniunely bonded with him. But her selfish dream was more important. The picture of what good, teasing friends they were hurts me because they became anything but in the killing game. Yamada just wanted to help her achieve her dream and serve her. Without asking for favors in return mind you. He knew he would die for her selfish dream. I think that as much as he wanted to help her...he was too ugly for her :(

Ikusaba Mukuro: Think about how fuc ked up her life is. And I dont just mean all the Enoshima stuff. I'm talking about her talent. Most Ultimates at HPA were trained young and Ikusaba is no exception. She saw death and murder and knew how to kill from a very young age. She says she had an interest but...she was a child man! And she's easy to manipulate because she sees herself as a weapon and a tool to be ordered around.

Maizono Sayaka: idk if this is true. But every time I've played drthh the first gift I always got the everlasting friendship bracelet first. And...that was the first gift I ever got. And i gave it to Maizono. And now I always give it to her. It kinda feels like its HER gift to me. I remember first playthrough I got the bracelet again and...I felt this "oh..." moment as I remembered what happened. I couldn't and still cannot give that gift to anyone else. I like to think that as Maizono was dying, she had the bracelet in her pocket and remembered who she betrayed and was dooming. She wrote out "LEON" while thinking of Naegi, wishing she hadn't let her fear get the best of her.

Fukawa Toko: Fukawa likely has feelings for Togami BECAUSE hes an ashole. We know that Fukawa is a self proclaimed mas ochist but I think theres more here. Fukawa idolizes love but has never had it go well for her, having been unwanted from birth. So many guys have tricked her by claiming to like her only to ditch her as a joke. Togami tells her straight up that she's disgusting. In her eyes if she can get Togami to admit he loves her...it's a GUARANTEE. Nothing will backstab her after that. (Also 🥺 i think a lot about how her only friend/loved one is a stinkbug)

Kuwata Leon: i aint touching his past. Shiits weird with his cousin man. We instead gonna just say Kuwata probably got a lot of injuries since hes reckless and doesnt really care about baseball too much. He wants to be a musician partially to express his emotions and frustrations. As the music duo I think he and Maizono used to be really really close before the game.

Asahina Aoi: I firmly believe that Asahina will not be able to move on and date anyone in the future. Ogami was the one. That was her Sakura-chan. She may have accepted her death, but the only way she's getting in a relationship again is in the afterlife when she meets back up with Ogami.

Ogami Sakura: A big source of inspiration for Ogami to become not just stronger but embrace her feminine side comes from her first love, Kenshiro. If you don't know: Kenshiro was the strongest man in the world, stronger than Ogami, but fell to terminal illness. Ogami promised him when he beat his illness she would beat him fair and square. Because of this I feel like her feelings for Asahina must have come with a bit of conflict. Kenshiro means so much to her, but Asahina also means so much to her. Unfortunatly she died before she could figure it out, but she accepted that she loved the both of them.

Hagakure Yasuhiro: I think that Hagakure had a REALLY REALLY good relationship with his mom. The entire time game and after hes thinkin about his mom. He wants more than anything after surviving to find her. Dead or alive. If shes dead he wants to say goodbye properly.

[aragima]

hannibal questions! 🍖🔪

@nietzscheantrout @horrorlesbians and @hanniba1 wanted me to answer these hannibal questions and i wrote too much but oh well! thanks to all 3 of you ilu!!!

favorite episode and why: oh we’re just goin straight to the hard questions huh um OKAY so i think i can only do an ep a season - s1: SORBET SUPREMACY! you get to see the exact moment will looks at hannibal and thinks “.........shit. it’s him isn’t it. he’s The One. SHIT.” and that is so important to me - s2: this one is really hard maybe naka-choko? it’s so fucking gay and sexy. but tome-wan... but mizumono............ yeah idk - s3: torn between digestivo and the wrath of the lamb cuz they both hurt SOOO good much; i love will breaking up with hannibal and hannibal manipulating the situation so will can’t leave asldkjansk it’s so toxic we have to stan..... and for twotl i mean do i really have to give a reason every scene LIVES in my mind and it contains my favorite shot in the whole show:

that is LOVE baby! that is DESIRE! that is being ENTHRALLED!!!!

least favorite episode and why: i feel like they’re all so necessary that it’s kind of impossible to say but probably antipasto. i get sick of hannibal and bedelia’s shenanigans really quickly and as much as i hate to admit it... i miss will. i also think it was an extremely weak season opener and i blame it for getting the show canceled sjshshsgsg the resentment...

favorite side character: chiyoh or jimmy or actually wait— RANDALL TIER 🖤

if you could bring back one character who died, who would it be?: RANDALL FUCKING TIER. i want there to be a weird thing with him and hannibal and will going on. but also i love what his death did for will so idfk, other than him it’s gotta be beverly

dish prepared in the show that you would like to try eating/making: i was supposed to make hannibal’s osso bucco recipe like 3 weeks ago but it completely slipped my mind so i guess i’ll get on that my next grocery trip  

which side character would you kill off?: chilton just because for god’s sake just let the man DIE ALREADY poor guy <- i’m taking ava’s answer because YEAH

was there any scene that you didn’t like to look at?: nah. the skin ripping scenes at the beginning of either kaiseki or sakizuki (idk i don’t remember, i hardly watch s2a) are particularly brutal but i tough it out

biggest ship: i mean do i even have to say

why did you start watching hannibal?: my wife, who was my girlfriend at the time, and her dad were watching it as it was airing and i was like “oh cool hannibal lecter origin story” but due to inconsistent access to the episodes i would just watch it randomly and that is... not the way to watch hannibal. i gave up around the end of s2 but knew hannigram was It regardless. i decided to watch s3 for the first time earlier this year just to have finished it and was like HOLD UP and did an immediate rewatch that left me... well, how i am now

favorite hannibal fic if you’ve read any?:

oh boy. yall ready for this? all of these can be found on ao3 obviously (i’m so sorry this is so long but i guess i’ve been asked to put together a fic rec anyway)

as soft, as wide as air by blackknightsatellite, the ladders series by emungere, blackbird by emungere, consenting to dream series by emungere, taken for rubies by emungere, at first meeting by emungere, protect me from what i want by @alienfuckeronmain, god of the cold, cold wars by highermagic, the abyss smiled back by highermagic, pomegranate seeds by highermagic, absolute zero by highermagic, in the truly gruesome do we trust by sidnihoudini, TKO by sidnihoudini, oh dear by lunarwench, each according to its kind by chapparral_crown, a flood in our hearts by nanoochka, let me sinful be by darlingred, uncomplicated by stratumgermanitivum & youaremydesign, good bones by @damnslippyplanet​, like they do in babylon by @damnslippyplanet​, your obedient servant by kareliasweet, past our satellites by shotgunsinlace, only the tender meat by isagel, the shape of me will always be you by missdisoriental, a white-walled room by rodabonor, spleen et idéal by rodabonor, the paper doll series by rodabonor, a common point of interest by rodabonor [i do NOT like a/b/o stuff but if i did... it’s this fic], just thought you should know by earthsickwithoutyou, the sacrificial lamb by princesskay, transcendent suffering by itsbeautiful, not something polite by moistdrippings, leave your message after the tone by onewhositswithturtles, holes in the floor of the mind by feverdreamblood, crossing caina by feverdreamblood, the archipelago series by melusine10, but seas between us braid hae roar’d by kareliasweet

have you watched any of the hannibal films?: yeah all of them except manhunter! i grew up watching silence of the lambs because my mom loved it and i went thru a big edward norton phase as a teen so i’ve seen red dragon like 10 times

have you read the thomas harris books?: no and i’m not going to lmao #fakefan

favorite murder tableau: if we’re talking just hannibal’s- the judge. if we’re talking Murder Bad But Kinda Pretty like in general probably the mushroom people or the totem

favorite blood spill: will imagining hannibal while he beats randall to death or The Gutting of Will Graham

what’re some of your headcanons?: - will is good at shibari (backed up in canon: his fishing knots, the firefly man’s full body hishi karada harness) - hannibal rarely listens to modern, non-classical music but he’s a björk fan and he saw one of her chapel performances during the vespertine era and was Moved - will listens to classic rock (zeppelin, the doors, pink floyd) with some classic country (patsy, merle, johnny) and blues (billie, muddy, bessie) thrown in. he’s also a sucker for early/mid-90s college rock/alternative/grunge - will plays the piano (because of the piano in his living room) and the harmonica (because he’s country white trash); he’s kind of shit tho - hannibal fell for will somewhere between “my thoughts are often not tasty” and “you won’t like me when i’m psychoanalyzed” (love at first sight! at last sight! at ever and ever sight!!!) - will’s circumcised, hannibal isn’t 🤪 - hannibal’s a gemini!!!! adaptable, creative, intelligent, outgoing, impulsive, etc - will’s an aquarius!!!!! analytical, a loner, temperamental, unique, compassionate, etc - will’s mom was jewish go read my fic about it https://archiveofourown.org/works/26774326 - hannibal is an agender man (tbh i think of this as canon, it’s just unstated/undefined) - hannibal can speak russian, spanish, and a teensy bit of portuguese in addition to the other languages we know he speaks (lithuanian, english, french, italian, japanese) - will speaks limited amounts of french; he learned it as a kid in louisiana - ED TW will sometimes has a Difficult relationship with food due to food instability by the way of poverty as a kid and goes through periods where it’s hard to keep himself fed, but hannibal is so good for him in that way because he keeps him from going hungry 😓 (yes this is me projecting but also it makes SENSE) - hannibal typically bottoms but THEY DEFINITELY ARE BOTH VERS and will never stops being surprised by how much he loves catching a dick. every time is like religious experience. okay? okay - they’re also both very kinky and switches but tbh.... will was made to Dom hannibal like that’s the reason he exists he could drag that old bitch around by a leash and hannibal would be in heaven HANNIBAL WOULD CALL HIM SIR - the first time they have sex hannibal comes like immediately but he isn’t embarrassed because he’s hannibal fucking lecter and hannibal lecter doesn’t get embarrassed - i have a hc for their favorite sex positions but i’m not gonna put that here because i don’t want yall calling me crazy any more than you probably already do but if you wanna know just DM me all i do is think about them fucking it’s a curse - okay no more dirty stuff abigail called hannibal “dad” on more than one occasion and it was half-joking but it also felt comfortable to her; she never thought to call will “dad” because he’s a weirdo and never knew her as much as he knew his idea of her - hannibal taught her to play piano at the cliff house - beverly is pansexual!!! - brian and jimmy kissed one time when they were drunk and they NEVER talk about it EVER - chiyoh is straight probably. i know, i know, everyone says she’s a lesbian and if she’s a lesbian to you that’s awesome! she’s a lesbian! but idk i just think she’s SO fucking straight and tbh i mourn bc that’s my wife. she could MAYBE be bicurious... - chiyoh is non-monogamous and doesn’t do serious relationships, she doesn’t like the idea of being tied to one person ever since she left the lecter castle - she helped hannibal and will escape after The Fall; she told hannibal she would continue to watch over him and i think she did, she got them a boat and got them the fuck out of there - MOLLY IS DOING SO MUCH BETTER WITHOUT WILL. SHE’S SO GLAD SHE GOT OUT OF THAT WHEN SHE DID. she has a good, long talk with alana and finds out all the shit about him and hannibal that will never told her (and it was a lot), gets drunk and burns all his shit, and then washes her hands of the whole thing; moves to a different state, gets a girlfriend, and never thinks about will again

okay i’m capping it there or i’m never gonna stop!! i’m not tagging anyone cuz i think everyone has done this by now lmao but if you’re a mutual who hasn’t and you want to just do it and say i tagged you!! mwah!!!!

[it-lives-in-westchester]

ILITW Fanfic

A/N: So PB crushed all of my hopes and dreams....which was also a great motivation for finishing this fanfic. This is how I personally think MC and Redfield!Noah first meeting went. It’s just filled with my own headcanons and such. Never published any fanfics here before, so please be gentle with me.  Named MC Claudia because that is the name I gave her while playing. 

Word count: 5272

Warnings: Some bad language and mentions of death/suicide.

The woods around the small town of Westchester, Oregon always had this eerie energy to it. Everyone knew about the wild animals that lived there, especially after the “feral animals” attacks last year. Even without the animal attacks during the homecoming dance at Westchester High, every generation could remember a tragic event that happened in those woods. 

There are unmarked graves of people who were sacrificed in witch rituals. A sass suicide that happened in the 70s seemingly done by a creepy cult. Countless mysterious deaths that might have just been accidents or gruesome murders. More people one can count who walked into the woods and never came out again. 

Claudia Harrington was well aware of the tragedies that have happened in the woods, after all, she had lived through two of them up close. Still kinda a miracle she survived both of those events, she was not sure if that was a blessing or not. Feeling more numb than ever and her insomnia getting worse than ever.

This was the 3. time this month she had tried to make a new system with the stuff in her room. Maybe she should listen to her mom more often with her having too much stuff in there. Opening one of her drawers, it was a pile of papers, that could have been from anywhere from a week ago or 5 years ago. She sighed deeply and started to make three different piles, one to keep, one that was just blank paper she could reuse and one to throw away. God, there was a lot of crap in there she noted. 

Essays from High school, Reports of stuff, notes from Ava, drafts of short stories she had written, essays from her first year at college, checklists. Then something caught her attention. A handwritten letter, it was her handwriting she was sure of it. 

"Happy Birthday!" was the first thing written on it. There were no memories she had written this. She continued reading it a bit curious. 

"I can't believe you and Jane wou…." Claudia crumbled the piece of paper and threw it in the trash.

Now she remembered it was a stupid thing her consular said she should try. Writing letters to people that they would never read just say everything you wanted to tell them. Claudia did not feel like it helped a whole lot. She thought she had thrown them all away, guess she had not done that. 

Continued to look through the paper pile. However, the “letter” she found earlier was the only thing that was on her mind. After a few minutes, she picked up the crumpled piece of paper from the trash and started to read for herself.

Happy Birthday!

I can’t believe you and Jane would have turn 18 today, I know kind of unbelievable, it seemed like it was just yesterday we believe turning 18 meant we were finally adults, oh how wrong we were right? 

For being honest with you Noah I have no idea what to write here. This whole thing just feels wrong knowing you are not really gone. I just hope you are doing well, wherever you are. 

You’re probably not, but hey I can pretend right?

Good wishes, Claudia. 

After reading the whole thing Claudia swallowed a bit. She could not believe she had written this crap almost 2 years ago. Damn, it already been two years since it all happened? It still felt so fresh in her mind. It still stung, after finally reconnecting with Noah after years of not talking to each other. Feeling like things would be okay between them for the first time in a long while. 

But then he had to throw all of that away, lying to her face about everything. Luring her and all of her friends to a messed up game of “Are you scared?”. Knowing full well it could end with death. 

Oh, how she wished she could hate him for it, after all, he had threatened her with a knife and almost killed everyone because of sheer stupidity, but she could not do it. Still feeling terrible about the fate that Noah Marshall had met all those years ago in the ruins in the woods.   

The "official" story about what happened to him, was that he had a mental breakdown because of unchecked mental illnesses and trauma with losing his sister at such a young age. Delusional and hurt going back to the unsafe caves where his sister died in a hope that it could bring her back. The cave collapsed with him inside and killed him. 

It was dumb, but what else were the townsfolks of Westchester gonna believe. That the corrupt spirit of his sister manipulated him and then convinced it might be a good idea to sacrifice all of their friends in a hope to free her. Then sacrificing himself in the end so he could free her from that awful half-life she had been living for 10 years. Of course not. Sometimes Claudia even had a hard time believing it as the truth. Even though she witnessed it from start to finish. Still hoping she would see him again in the hallways at school during her senior year of high school.     

It was still bothering her on some level that everyone, including her, was just to ignore it. Like everyone did last time after what happened to Jane. This time around they had decided to keep contact, but still. 

It could all happen again, right? Some other stupid kids finding the ruins and getting the same life as Claudia and her friends had been living. No that could not happen. They had not fixed anything, it would come back. Maybe when they are 30 or something and has to deal with the consequences then.  

Looking at the clock, it was around 04:45 am. Looking out of the window it was dark the only thing she could see was the snow on the ground that reflected the moon lightning. Maybe she should..no was she crazy?  

Going back was the whole reason this all started again but at the same time. If she knew earlier that Redfield was gone and it was Jane, could she have prevented it? All that damage? All those deaths? Besides she was not tired so better do something that might be effective and not just scroll through social media till the sun came up, that had seemed to become a habit of lately. 

Thank god her parents were gone for the weekend, so they did not have to question her on what she was doing at 05:00 am. Putting on her winter coat and boots while going outside to her backyard. Going past the tree Cody died in and then entering her shed.   

It had been a while she had been inside the shed behind her house. An old flashlight that was her fathers was on a shelf, that could be useful. After picking up the that she noticed her bat, Barb lying against the wall. That might come in handy in case things went south like last time she thought, then she grabbed it before going out in the woods.  

The woods had not changed over these past 2 years. Tall trees that made it impossible to see the night sky. Weird noises in a lot of places but certain areas where there was not a single sound you could hear. Having a weird feeling that someone or something was always watching you. It almost felt like for each step she took into the woods the heavy feeling in her chest became bigger. At least the snow on the ground made it easier to see where she was going, maybe the flashlight was not necessary. 

Finally, she arrived at the clearing, this was here her, Ava, Andy, and Noah had found Dan in the woods, that seemed like it was forever ago. 

Halfway to the ruins now, you can do it. 

However when she was halfway through the clearing suddenly she heard a tree branch snap. 

Almost just by instinct, Claudia turned around. What the hell was that noise? Behind her was nothing, maybe it was a bird or another small animal… c’mon Claudia that can’t be it. She took a better grip on her bat. 

“Hello?” She said with a bit of uncertainty in her voice. Looking around between the trees, for something, anything. Nothing, just darkness looking back at her. Turning on her flashlight and she started to flash it between the trees like it would comfort her a lot more if she saw something like a deer. Even then the flashlight was old, maybe older than her, so it was not like it did help to see what was between the trees. She tried to listen if any more noises came, but nothing more happened. Nothing felt too of either. She dropped her shoulders a bit, hadn't even noticed how much tension she had put on them. 

C'mon, I am not even there at the ruins yet, it just my mind playing tricks on me. 

However, when she turned around to walk deeper in the woods she stopped. Two bright lights were staring right at her, with a dark shadow surrounding it, like ink spilling over. Her first reaction was to get away, far away. It was kinda a blur what happened next, it was just her acting on fear and panic at the moment. She was not even sure if she had screamed or not.  

The next thing she could see was the stars filling the night sky with no clouds in sight. Claudia looked up trying to catch her breath. Had she fallen over? She tried to collect all of her thoughts in her head.

What the hell, what the hell, what the hell!? Okay just think.

What she had seen was what she thought, right? Wait that would mean…..

She bolted up, nothing was in front of her. No no-no-no. She frantically started to look around the place. It was real right? No hallucination or her lack of sleep made this up. She had seen it, what she had been looking for the reason she was even here in the first place.  

Then she stopped looking around when she noticed the glowing eyes staring at her from behind a tree. When it saw that Claudia was looking at it, it came out of hiding. The glowing eyes belonged to a tall thin shadow creature. She noticed that it seemed to be floating a bit of the ground. The shape was like a man, with a head and arms. So from a distance, it would just look like that, a silhouette of a person. However, if you looked closer you could see that the arms were freakishly long with long sharp fingers at the end of them, and it was a lot taller than an average man.    

"Hey" Rising from the ground and started to walk towards the shadow creature. "Didn't mean to do that, you just surprised me"

She noticed for each step she took the distance between them did not change. It took around five steps before she realized what was happening

For each step, she took forward the shadow took a step backward. 

When she stopped walking so did the shadow creature. 

"Okay then….I'll just stand here then, good for you?" 

Planting her feet on the ground. Redfi...Noah was also standing still now. On the other side of the clearing. Just looking at her while holding a hand towards his "jaw". Not much of a conversation. 

Guess I have to be the one to break the ice.  

"Hello….how are you doing?" That made her cringe in an instance, oh Jesus Christ what kinda question was that. This was also the first time it dawned on her that she had no plans on what to do next. Damn those impulsive thoughts in her head. Well, now it was too late to go back with this. 

There was no response to her question. Just the natural sounds from the woods like birds and other small creatures coming back to her. 

Well, what kind of response was she expecting?

Oh, I have been doing well Claudia, you know expect for this whole being dead thing. Besides that great.

"That was a stupid question, I just realized that" She awkwardly continued. "Maybe you should say something instead because I suck at this as you can see" Could not help herself to laugh nervously after that. Like this was an awkward family reunion with an uncle asking what’s your plan after college and not her talking to an all-powerful forest spirit who could destroy the whole town if it felt like it. It did not seem like Noah even heard her saying anything or he had the most minimalistic reactions to things, she was about to continue talking.

Then she noticed that his eyes were not staring at her directly, but rather her hand. Was still holding a strong grip on Barb, wasn't she?

Oh shit, did I hit him? shit shit shit shIT! No, relax just….

Taking a few seconds of considerations before she dropped the bat on the ground, and then kicked it far enough away she could not reach for it. Noah’s glance followed the bat and then went back into staring right into her eyes when it was out of reach. 

“See… Don’t want to hurt you” she tried to give a small smile to show that she was genuine. In hindsight, that statement was almost ridiculous. What would a bat with barbed wire do against an undead forest spirit? Like if he wanted he could have probably just thrown her against a rock breaking her back in an instant. Maybe he could just drop her onto a tree, as Jane did with Cody, better just break Claudia's neck in on swift motion or maybe I should stop thinking about all the ways I could die, sounds like a plan. 

No big reactions from Noah unfortunately, the only thing he did was staring at her again, like he was studying her. 

Why isn’t he saying anything? 

Claudia almost felt like that made it worse than it was. It was not like Redfield or Jane was that talkative in this type of state either, but they were talking, be it pretty simple. 

She did not know what would have felt worse between him saying nothing or him taunting her for letting him die because she was a coward like the others would have done. At this point, she was not even sure if coming back was a good idea at all. 

C’mon, I can’t give up this easily. I have to try to say something different.

“Can you talk?” that came out a lot more annoyed than Claudia intended to sound like, now it almost felt dumb asking. At least it got a reaction out of Noah, he was now tilting his head and his eyes widened she could see that the colors in them turned neon blue. Almost like he was taken back by the question. 

“.....yesssssss...?” 

Claudia felt every hair on her body rise. Even felt like the temperature had gone more down. That voice was the same voice that had been haunting her nightmares for years. The whispering voice that seemed to break through the silence like nails against a chalkboard. Still, even if it sounded nothing like Noah, it had to be him, right? It could not be anyone else? Maybe he remembered nothing so she could not even say it was him, because nothing that made him Noah Marshall was even left. 

Jane had remembered, right? Even after 10 years and without the advantage of any of her friends knowing it was her. So he had to remember something, he had to remember Claudia, right? 

“Do you remember me?” There was no point dodging the question, Claudia just had to know if he did remember. Hoping there was still something of her old friend in there. 

This was the first in a long time he broke eye contact and was looking at the ground instead. Claudia tried to take one step forward, this time he did not seem to mind. It almost looked like he was too deep in his thoughts to even notice. 

“My name is Claudia, Claudia Harrington, I am… your friend?” She said that last part almost in a whisper, like who knows what to even call their relationship at this point. They have not seen or talked to each other for almost two years. Last time they talked he had held a knife against her throat and then she let him kill himself. What do you even call that? Besides all types of messed up. 

"Claudia..mm?" He said most likely to himself. She tried to walk a few more steps. Without a warning, he turned his gaze back to her and Claudia stopped right in her track holding her breath. Feeling like it got stuck in her throat. 

He was not moving, she was not sure if it was her imagination or not, but it felt like everything had turned eerily quiet even more than before. Nothing that was living in the woods was making any noises now or knew to stay far away from where they were standing. 

She could hear her heart hammering in her chest and she was wondering if Noah could hear it too. 

Why did I not tell anyone what I was planing before going out here? Well, they would have probably tried to stop me. Oh, fucking christ I'm gonna die here. Aren't I?

To Claudia, it almost looked like his eyes was flickering a bit. Then he started to float a bit closer to her, but when he was just about 6 feet away he stopped. He promptly straightens up all of a sudden, It almost looked like he remembered something else.

".....leave.."

"What!? Wait What?" 

Claudia had no idea how to respond or what to do with this. Was she supposed to just leave? Stay? Ask what he meant by "leave"? Had she said something wrong? Was he mad at her for everything that happened? Was there just something else unrelated? What had she done wrong? Her thoughts ran rampant. This was not making any sense to her. 

Claudia looked up from the ground and Noah had not done anything. None of them had done anything. She noticed that his eyes seem to flicker a bit between the usual white, neon blue, and orange flames. 

"No, I am not leaving until you answer my question," She said trying to sound as brave as possible. 

"Do you remember me? Yes, or No" Trying to sound tough as hard when every instinct in her screamed she should run away and never look back. 

Noah backed away and looked a bit to the left. Seemingly trying to avoid all eye contact with her. 

"......Leave.." he said again, lower this time. 

"No, answer my question!" Yelling back at him. 

It seemed to get a reaction out of him. Turning his head and looking directly at her, she felt like his eyes were piercing through her soul. 

Noah started to float a bit closer to Claudia, without breaking eye contact. He bends down so he was just a few inches away from her face. If he had been human Claudia would probably felt him breathing right up in her face and smelt his breath. Had she finally got him to remember something?

"LEEEEAVE!" 

Claudia felt ringing in her ears that made her put her hands against her ears by reflex. She also closed her eyes shut to respond to the pain. 

Nope, did not make him remember anything, just made it worse. Of course, I made it worse.

Slowly she opened her eyes. A face of nightmares was looking straight at her. The familiar skeletal face and bright orange eyes of flames. Which made her close her eyes immediately back again. 

This situation is probably one where most would have run away screaming and never look back. Claudia was considering it. A part of her did not want to go until she got answers and a part of her felt frozen. 

She was still holding her eyes shut. Nothing was happening, was he just standing in front of her? She knew something was in front of her and it was not moving. He had not hurt or touched her and the only thing he wanted was her leaving right?

She started to chant under breath

"I am not scared, I am not scared, I am not scared, I am not scared, I am not sc…"

"Huh….?" The whispering voice responded

Taking a deep breath, before opening her eyes again facing him.  

"I am not scared of you" His eyes widened a bit like he was not expecting her to say that. "And I am not leaving you either," She said with the best poker face she was able to do while her heart felt like it would burst out of her ribcage at any moment. 

The skeletal face with flame eyes was gone and the shadowy face with big neon blue eyes was back again. He backed away as well so he was not right up in her face and was standing a few feet away again.

"I am not leaving you okay, not again, I promise" Claudia took a hand towards him. He looked at it, almost unsure what she meant by it, Claudia continued talking:

"You don't deserve this, and I should have come back sooner, but I am here now, right?"  

Trying to give a small smile. Noah glanced between her face and her hand. She stretched out her arm a bit closer to him. Maybe so he could take the hint. 

"So maybe, we can be friends again?" 

Suddenly Claudia saw that he tried to reach for her hand, but then he suddenly stopped. Almost frozen at the moment. He stood there for about half a minute. 

"no" he started to say. He took back his hand. "no no no" 

Claudia wanted to say something but Noah continued talking to himself seemingly forgetting that Claudia was even standing in front of him. 

"Why back?.....worst...no no-no" He was hiding his face in his hands. Shaking his head back and forth. He continued rambling to himself for a while most of the words Claudia was catching was: "bad" "why" and "no". 

"Noah? It's okay just…."

“DON’T!”

It seemed like the orange flames’ eyes were back again for a solid second. They disappeared just as quickly and he looked down at his own two hands and then at Claudia again.     

".....Bye," he whispered and then turned around to leave her.

"Wait you can't just go!?" Claudia Yelled at him. He did not seem to care and continued floating away from her. 

"After everything you did you can't just leave, you owe me something," she said in frustration. “bye” he replied with again. She ran so she was standing in front of him now and he stopped right in his track.    

"What do you even want me to say or do?"

"...leave..." He said while walking straight through her. It did not feel much kinda like a cold breeze that went past her. Still made her shudder an insane amount.

“Hey!” She yelped and turned around to see him, still did not stop. 

"...bye….leave..." he said again, waving a hand at her. 

“I just want to talk! Come back! Please” It seemed like nothing she said was changing his mind, he was on the other side of clearing now. There was so much she wanted to say and in the end, she finally shouted at him:

“I’m sorry, OKAY!” she noticed Noah stopped walking away.

“.....what?” He turned around with wide eyes. Well no point holding back now, if she was never gonna see him again at least she can say everything she wanted to tell him before being gone forever. Taking a deep breath before continuing.

“I am sorry for everything that happened between us two.

I am sorry I trusted Redfield even though you were right about him. 

I am sorry that I couldn’t save Jane from him as well.

I am sorry I left you after what happened to her. 

I am sorry that you are…you’re..that you...” That was it, she broke, started to choke on a sob. Tears were starting to block her vision. She hid her face in her hands and continued to sob loudly to herself. When her knees started to feel weak she fell on the forest floor. 

Maybe it was naive thinking that just spilling everything out was gonna make her feel or even make the situation at hand better. 

It felt like an aching pain in her chest like her heart was being crushed by a pressure she could not see. 

It was almost painful to breathe in. God if she started to throw up she would just die on the spot she felt like. 

Guilt

That one terrible feeling she had felt constantly since the homecoming night. Been eating at her soul ever since everything happened. Thinking about all the things she could have done differently. 

What if she was not an idiot as a child and backed away when a real-life ghost story wanted to be her friend.

What if she tried to talk to Noah after what happened to Jane, instead of a mutual avoidance of each other. 

What if she had taken Jane’s place instead of being coward. 

What if she had just tried harder to convince Noah it was another way to end Jane's messed up game.

None of her friends seemed to understand that. It did not matter how many times they told her "It's not your fault, you couldn't have stopped this" It still felt like it was her fault. Their choice that night was between life or death. They did not have to choose between killing another person or themself. 

For Claudia, it felt like two people she cared about died because of her. Maybe she shouldn't feel bad after all those two tried to kill her and all of her friends. Still, she knew all the suffering they had gone through how much could have been prevented was the question if she had done different choices. Now she had the possibility to make amends with one of them and she messed up that too. 

God, why can't I do anything right anymore? C'mon when was I doing anything right ever. 

“...Stop crying..”

“What?” She looked up, her vision was a bit blurry because of the tears, but she did notice Noah was standing in front of her now, instead of the other side of the clearing. Then he lowered himself so they were more eye to eye. 

“...Don’t cry….” He hesitantly reached out a hand and slowly patted her head for a while. She barely felt it, but that was definitely what he was doing. 

"..Is..okay.." he continued talking with a bit of uncertainty, "… don't say sorry….is okay..." was he?

“....Are you comforting me?” Claudia did not know what to think, what was happening? Her worst childhood trauma, the monster who has been haunting her half her life, seemingly trying to cheer her up after upsetting her. When just moments earlier it seemed like he wanted nothing to do with her. 

He froze immediately after she asked that. Almost like this was the first time he realized what he was actually doing. 

“....working..?” He stopped doing, whatever he was doing. Holding his hands together, waiting for her response. It was hard reading his expression, it was after all just two bright lights that looked at her. It did not look like he had any anger behind his eyes like before as far as Claudia could tell.

“Yeah, we can say that” Claudia responded while wiping her tears away. 

At least he did not leave like she feared he was going to do. It was kinda sweet, in a weird way. Maybe it was more of her old friend in there, someone who did care about her.

“....sorry too...” He quietly said. it was almost so low Claudia almost did not catch it at all.

“....hurt you...didn’t I?". He was fiddling with his fingers now and looking lower than before. 

"you could say it like that" Claudia responded, a bit unsure what he was talking about this time. 

"Sorry," he said again to her. "Sorry… messed up….sorry"

He could be talking about what had just happened, but Claudia's gut feeling was saying he was talking about something else. The whole reason why both of them were even here, to begin with. 

"So, you do remember me?"

It was a few seconds of silence, Claudia feared a moment she had messed up again. Nevertheless, Noah started to nod a bit. Even looked like he was rolling with his eyes a bit.

"yes..of course…" she noticed that his eyes seemed to be smiling after he said that, if that even any made sense.

That made Claudia smile as well, she could feel her cheeks hurting. 

"I knew you would" She finally said and she felt the tears were coming back again.

"wait… don't cry" 

She started to laugh at that comment. 

"No no, don't worry, I am crying now because I am so happy" She started to explain. It seemed like he tensed down a bit after she explained herself. 

Then they were both sitting in silence for a while, what now? She had to admit it was kinda nice just sitting there with Noah. It was still something left of him inside this shadowy figure, now the question was how to save it. She had no ideas at the moment. Also what was she even gonna tell her friends, they were not so forgiving on what Noah had done. Also with the way he first responded to seeing her again, not the best reaction she could have hoped for. Guess she could tell them later when the time was right. 

What snapped her out of her thoughts was a low hissing sound that seemed to get louder. Suddenly Noah went away and hid behind the treelines. Before Claudia could ask what was wrong she felt sunlight hitting her face that made her squint. 

She had not noticed how bright it had gotten these past few hours. Guess fearing the ghost of a childhood friend might not even remember you were a bigger issue.

"Yeah….not a fan of sunlight I guess" Remembering how Redfield and Jane had reacted to it as well. She turned around where Noah was hiding between the trees. 

"no...hurts a lot" Noah hissed while looking down where the sun was shining.   

"I can come to visit again…. Next week? sounds good?" She gave him a thumbs up. He looked at her gesture for a while, before he copied it back. Then he was gone. 

Claudia walked to were Barb was and picked the bat up. 

"Well looks like I didn't need you," she said to it. She also realized that she never really apologized for potentially hitting Noah in the face, well could do that another time. 

 The woods were not as creepy with the morning lights shining through the tree. After around 15 minutes, she finally arrived back at her house. Going straight to her bedroom and crashed on her bed until the late afternoon.

[toonqueen]

Duckvember 2020

--Game--

Just some OC stuff. Move along. Nothing to read here. NO BETA and NO WRITING GOOD DESCS JUST GOING WHERE THIS ENERGY DRINK IS TAKING ME.

PG-13 for the violence. Murder mentions. I’m sure there is a curse word. Fun on a bun stuff.

P.S. IT WAS BETAed THANK YOU @cataradical ALSO THANK YOU FOR THE ONE PART I WAS STUCK AT nnnngh

-------

“Now that I’ve got your attention, let's play a little game,” the canine antagonist’s voice drifted from the speakers, followed by loud, maniacal cackling. There was no sight of him, but the room wasn’t empty.

Faustina curtly stood up from the ground where she had fallen deep into the pit. She was less concerned about the menacing, dangerous voice as she was her clothes getting dirty. Although she was angry, it was more at her sister than this weirdo who’d trapped them here.

“‘Mr. Canis is so nice in the Nega-verse. I just wanted to see if his gas station was anything like the one in the Middle-verse. Your version, he’s such a kind old man, so… what if he’s an absolute grump here? How funny would that be… teehee.’” Faustina repeated words said to her earlier in a mocking tone. She looked around the room as she brushed off her skirt; a small cell with a single glass wall. “Yes, what a great adventure, /sis/,” Faustina growled, pounding on the glass angrily, “find out our good friend /here/ is a serial killer. /Fun times/.”

Faustina glanced up, spotting a TV screen mounted above the glass. Playing was footage of her sister, Felicity, hurrying down a hallway, surrounded by large, halved circular saw blades whirring in and out and along the walls. Faustina’s dark-haired twin was swiftly moving, twisting, dancing around them.

“/I am not a killer/!” the voice shrieked from the speakers, offended, disgusted, “I am merely a tool that creates the puzzles. It is Fate that decides who lives and who dies, not me.”

“Oh, /boy/. This is going to be a /hoot/ then. Fate. With this gal. /Wow/. Why not run me through your death maze too?” Faustina stifled her giggling.

“Because you are going to be the prize for when--or if--she gets through my CORRIDOR OF KARMA and the PRECIPICE OF SERENDIPITY,” the villain bellowed, causing the speakers to glitch a little.

Faustina had completely lost it, cackling until her stomach hurt and she doubled forward, banging a fist against the glass wall. Tears pricked the corners of her eyes, her face sore from smiling so much. “Oh, you sad, poor little--if you /only knew/ her! Oh, man, where’s my phone?” She managed to collect herself, wiping away tears and sniffing a few times. A moment to gigglesnort before deep breath. “I’m going to have to record your reaction for later, Mister I Let Fate Decide, but I’m sure as soon as she gets through your stupid game, you’ll change your tune. I bet you made it so everyone loses no matter how hard they try, right? You’re gonna be so butthurt when you realize she’s gonna get through all that.” Unable to restrain herself any longer, Faustina started laughing and snorting again, arms thrown around her belly.

“Laugh now, fool. I hope you see her get torn apart. Behold! She just now entered the GAUNTLET OF THE GILDED-- wait, where did she go?” the canine gasped and choked.

Faustina looked back up at the TV as it started flipping through channels, all showing different chambers and mazes of torture and misery. Every single one of them… empty. Just as another channel turned on, Faustina heard a light shuffling coming from the ceiling above her head.

A second later, a panel on the ceiling right outside the cell room fell to the ground. Felicity climbed out until she was standing, face to face, with her sister on the opposite side of the glass.

Faustina huffed, hands on her hips. “About time. That took you a little longer than I thought,” Faustina complained to her “hero”.

“I would have gotten here sooner, but I felt obligated to read the name plaques he put up in each room. Masquerade of Misfortune was my favorite,” Felicity replied as she placed her hands on where the glass wall met a metal wall.

“How-- /How did you get in here!/ The vents don’t--don’t even lead here!” the voice hissed and snarled from the speakers.

“Well, they do now,” Faustina said on behalf of her sister. Felicity ignored them, tugging and prying along the strip of metal before peeling it loose. A line of bolts popped free.

“No matter! That was cheating! You’ve forfeited the game, and now you will see your sister suffer a gruesome fate,” the voice guffawed sinisterly. Liquid started pouring from the cell’s ceiling, right next to Faustina.

The trapped twin sniffed, and instantly knew what it was. “Gasoline? Really? Gonna set me on fire, huh? This is just getting more and more hilarious. Maybe coming here wasn’t such a bad idea. We need to do this every week. Man, if this jerk only /knew/,” she chuckled, casually pressing a hand up against the nozzle and stopping the flow of gasoline.

“Now, Felicity, was it? How ironic your name means “fortune”. Maybe you’ll be lucky by persuading me to let your sister live. Get on your knees, and /beg/ for her life,” their captor ordered, his tone much more disturbing and ruthless.

Felicity gave him the cold shoulder. “Heat would expand the glass, and then you can crawl out through this seam,” she explained to Faustina. “The bolts are out. You’ll be fine.”

“Are you not listening to me?” the voice raged. “You need to convince me to free your sister! I decide her fate!”

“Cool, cool, all right, hellfire. Got it.” Faustina put her fingers in front of her and started to move them like she was playing with an invisible cat’s cradle string. 

“Do you not /understand/, you simpletons? All I have to do is throw a lit match and your sist-- /What in the fuc--/!” the voice changed from commanding to panicked when Faustina herself burst into flames. The fire had started from her own hands, and spread across her body. Flames rolled down her skirt, thick and magma-like, setting the fuel at her feet on fire. There was an immediate rushing blow of black smoke.

Felicity backed away from the hole so Faustina and her fire could do the rest. The escaping duck showed no pain from the flames. She just shrugged and climbed out. The speakers crackled but no voice.

“/Coward/!” Faustina yelled as she got out of the cell, rolling back the glass with the heat. “Why didn’t I think of this?”

“We are underneath a gas station. Might want to tone down the fire,” Felicity suggested. She looked up at where the fuel was still dripping. A few options on what to do rolled around in her mind. “Why is this bothering me more than any other villain we fought?”

“I dunno. More the peeps we beat up tend to rob banks or fight other heroes, so, uh,” Faustina said, the flames disappearing in wisps of black smoke until not even a spark was left. The entire cell floor was covered in flames still. Despite having been set on fire, not a single part of Faustina’s body, even her clothes, had been burned or harmed. However, there was black smudging along the hem of her skirt. “... You’re gonna get my dry cleaning bill.”

“Yeah, we’ve never had to fight a killer that's been taking out… defenseless people,” Felicity mumbled, still watching the dripping gasoline. 

Faustina noticed the change in her sister’s tone. “Look, I can be a reverse conscience, bein’ all for tearing this guy apart. Is that what you want to do?” Faustina leaned in close to her twin, twinkle-eyed. “Really, I’d like to have that family bonding girls’ night /finally/.” 

“No...” Felicity replied quietly. Another moment’s pause, then she asked, “Can you resurrect the bodies in the freezer?”

“Yes,” Faustina said without hesitation. 

Felicity opened the nearest door, finding it to be a closet with the usual cleaning supplies. She handed Faustina a push broom. Not exactly what she hoped for but it would work. 

“I’ll go after him. You get the victims out of here,” Felicity said as she pointed to the hole in the ceiling that Faustina had originally fallen from.

The blonde witch gave a nod and got on the broom, flying out the available exit. Felicity took a ladder from the closet, used it to climb up into a different opening.

-------

Mr. Canis, a mild-mannered gas station owner with a shotgun in hand, was now running out of his business as fast as his legs could carry him.

Well, not that mild mannered, since he would often trap a lone 3 AM traveler or two, and force them to play his sadistic death games he held below the gas station. “A sacrifice to Fate during the bewitching hour” is what he called it. And two tired women on a road trip were just the perfect meals to feed the beast.

Metaphorical beasts. Not monsters like these two were. 

Mr. Canis had made a mistake. He had seen the warning signs! …Though, could the blonde filling the super size one liter soda cup with nothing but nacho cheese really count as a warning sign? After all, she did put a fifty dollar bill on the counter and said to charge her as much as he needed for extra cheese. This weird girl who he’d now just seen catch on fire and come out completely unscathed without any show or sign of pain.

Mr. Canis wasn’t going to stick around to see what the witch’s equally oddball sister could do. 

To think an hour ago his biggest concern was she might be a cop. The way she had just... inspected things on the shelves so tentatively. Actually stood there at the counter for a moment, reading the back of a bag of chips. And then, when he was ringing her up, she just smiled at him like she knew him. Asked how his day was with a strangely large amount of curiosity. 

Mr. Canis assumed the woman must know him--better yet, know what he did. Knew about the puzzles, the games. Knew about the sacrifices he had made to Fate. He could see it in her eyes.

There was a rattling of metal coming from right behind him. He ran across the small parking lot, toward the grass of the surrounding woods. He heard the rattle again. Like a horror movie, he just had to check, see the source of the sound--

The canine’s feet were back on the pavement. The rattling came from the steel door to the room containing all the fuel tanks. There was faint knocking from within--specifically one tank with a small “door” locked up. Mr. Canis laughed despite his fear; one of these so-called “powerful” women were now trapped by a simple metal lock on a rusty old door.

He stopped laughing when the lock broke after another couple knocks. Seemingly with no force either. With one more push, Felicity climbed out of the tank, drenched. Instead of the strong scent of gasoline, she was soaked in cola. 

Mr. Canis was all the more confused when harmless brown soda could be seen (and smelled) in the fuel tank, instead of the gasoline that would be more harmful for this girl to swim in. He was frozen, flabbergasted. How could the hoses for the syrup to the soda fountains even be out here? They must have been diluting the fuel he was using for the traps.

When Mr. Canis snapped out of his daze, he found the black-haired duck glaring back at him in silence. If looks could kill, he’d be dead and buried.

Felicity had been excited to meet the Prime-verse counterpart of the Nega-verse gas station owner she was friends with. She had expected a grumpy version of the man that ran her favorite Nega-verse stop. Maybe throw out loitering teens instead of offering them free day-old donuts. It was going to be amusing. Be fun.

Not deadly.

Mr. Canis fired a shot at her, and it missed. Missed even at point blank. Sure, she had tilted her torso just slightly left, but it should have still hit something! Mr. Canis wasn’t an amateur when it came to firearms. 

Felicity abruptly grabbed the gun. One hand around the top of the barrel, and the other farther down the shaft. Mr. Canis' finger was still curled around the trigger, and he fired another shot. In an instant, she bent and raised the barrel so the shot went into the air.

Felicity gained leverage and let one hand go of the gun. Her free one grabbed under the canine’s arm. Mr. Canis was on his back in a flash when the smaller duck flipped him onto the ground.

Felicity held the gun now, aimed expertly at her would-be attacker. “Get up. Get inside the gas station.” 

“Look, this is all a misunderstanding. Obviously you have the blessed fortune to get through my maze of fate. You and your sister are free to go! Isn’t that wonderful? Go ahead and be on your way!” Mr. Canis was desperate; poor excuses, he knew, but he tried. Maybe the girl would be so in shock by what happened she would just leave? 

Felicity was silent, and still glaring. In that moment, Mr. Canis wished she was more talkative like the blonde. He reluctantly got up, and headed into the gas station. Felicity followed, keeping the gun pointed at his back. 

“I take it you two are going to tie me up and call the cops to come get me?” he chuckled, like he’d forgotten all about the insanity of the last ten or so minutes.

That peace did not last long. Faustina was sitting on the checkout counter. Three other women were in the station as well. Very familiar women. Awake, moving, but still cold from the freezer. Glassy eyed, they actually did not look fully alive. Just alive enough. 

“Are there more? Because those woods back there look very iffy,” Faustina questioned, as casually as someone would when looking for their lost keys. She sat in her billowy dress, legs crossed and hands resting on one bent knee. She smirked wide when the murderer was too  shocked to reply. “What? Nothing to say? What would you like to do, dearest sister?”

“We let him choose his fate,” Felicity finally spoke up. There was a glimmer in Faustina’s eye. She had never seen Felicity prone to actual violence. This was a treat. Though, she gave a disheartened pout when her sister just had to ruin it with all the lawful goody-two-shoes stuff. “We’re calling the cops, and you better sit still and stay here while we all wait for them to arrive.”

“Those three… How are they… what is… going on?” the panic returned to Mr. Canis’s voice. The same panic when he watched Faustina burst into flames as if it were nothing but a change of clothes. 

“Idiot. You have the worst luck ever. You literally, /literally/ put someone cursed by Fortuna in your fate maze, and someone blessed by demons in your fire trap. How dumb. What a /moron/. /Absolute tool!/” Faustina complained and scowled.

“I’m sure your mood’ll improve soon enough,” Felicity said, eyes rolling. She waved a hand and turned away. “I’m stepping out to call the cops. I’ve got the gun on me, but I’m sure you can handle him if he tries anything funny.”

Faustina grinned, watching her sister leave. “No problemo!” She turned her grin, now more feral, to Mr. Canis as she cracked her knuckles. “So, hey, a couple of your ‘former customers’ wanna file some complaints about your little side business here. I recommend you take them very seriously.”

Mr. Canis whimpered, looking between Faustina and the three women lumbering closer. “Are you… are you going to kill me?” he gulped.

“I’m not going to kill you. I’m going to leave it to fate. Ladies, if you get rid of him before sunrise, the spell will resurrect you. The more pain you put him through, the better the rezz,” Faustina said and grinned before turning to leave the room. She shut the door on the horrified, high-pitched shrieking and crying.

Felicity stood outside, arms crossed, like she had just caught a child eating all the cookies from the jar. 

“What? You prefer I don’t rezz them?”

“I’m pretty sure you can just transfer his life force into them without the--” Felicity’s words were interrupted by a blood curdling scream. 

“Yes, but where’s the fun in that? Karma’s a bitch, after all.”

------

Lawd the baddies in the Saw movies piss me off would love monster girls to beat the shit out of them. HUZZAH.

[secret-engima]

Some Ardyn DLC and Plot Thoughts

Okay randomest thing but have I ever talked about how the Ardyn DLC heavily implies that Ardyn is not in control of his own actions?

Maybe this is a me thing, or alternatively a thing Everyone Has Already Talked About but like- think about it. A plea for insanity could already be made and won because he was strung up by meathooks for 2k years in total isolation with only the plague known to turn humans into screaming mindless monsters i his head for company. But when we first see him post being broken out of Angelgard, when he’s talking to Besithia and stuff, the revenge plot is ALL Besithia’s idea. It’s clear Ardyn is bitter, but he’s not- vengeful. He’s quiet, disinterested, very clearly depressed (and for good reason) and frankly gets ANNOYED by Besithia’s constant hamfisted “Oh you must want revenge on the people who hurt you, you just MUST want to kill those people who are conveniently my country’s worst enemies DON’T YOU.” Every time Besithia says/implies that sort of thing Ardyn either reacts in annoyance or says something to try to make Besithia drop it.

And then the fight with the Lucians happen. And Ardyn starts hallucinating them as SOMNUS. Somnus who taunts him, Somnus who attacks him. The focal point of his restrained bitterness dragged to life, ripping open the already unhealed mental wound and making it 100 times worse, making him even more mentally vulnerable.

Then, THEN.

Ifrit happens. Ardyn daemonifies Ifrit out of pure defensive desperation and is granted visions and then, THEN he suddenly starts laughing and swearing vengeance on the Lucis Caelum line.

Also in that DLC, a little bit later in fact, we’re told that daemonifying people transfers things to him. Memories. Knowledge. Names.

Is it that far of a jump to assume that it transfers emotions too?

What a coincidence then, that it’s only after Ardyn daemonifies (and thus receives some kind of data transfer from) the Infernian, the immortal Astral who hates humanity enough to kill them all, who hates Bahamut for being the one to strike him down, who has had thousands of years to stew in his hatred and spite toward both, that Ardyn decides to get revenge. Not by just going and killing the Lucis Caelums, which he could totally do considering his powers, oh no. He goes on an elaborate, years long scheme that will not only kill the Lucis Caelums, but will kill the Oracles (who hold Bahamut’s blessing), and kill the Chosen King (who also holds Bahamut’s blessing) before he can fulfill Bahamut’s vaunted Prophecy. A plot that will by extension will kill all humanity.

Humanity, Bahamut’s beloved Prophecy, and both of the lines that hold Bahamut’s blessing. Basically a plan to lash out at both all humanity and Bahamut specifically. You know, the two things Ifrit hates the most.

It’s also spectacularly convenient that Ardyn lashes out against those infiltrating Lucians, but only after they start the fight and after he starts hallucinating Somnus. But you know, it’s not like we have evidence that being infected with Starscourge causes personalized hallucinations tailored toward the infected’s most emotional memory/fixation point. Pshh. That would be like seeing other daemons cling to their strongest emotion and hallucinate their fixation point in place of the actual people in front of them. Like a Naga stealing a random human because she was convinced this was her long lost baby and then going ham on the humans who came to rescue aka “steal” their not-naga-baby buddy.

Oh wait.

There’s also the fact that the flashbacks in the DLC to Somnus are .... weird. Vague. They don’t match UP to the anime special episode (which does not take place from Ardyn’s POV but an outsider’s that bounces from Ardyn to Somnus to Aera btw) that got released about Ardyn. All the other anime episode specials matched mostly to what the game implies (to my knowledge) but in the anime episode the confrontation between Ardyn and Somnus is COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. It’s in a throne room rather than a field, in front of a crowd instead of just Aera and Somnus, Gilgamesh is there attacking the Chosen King alongside Somnus (which handily explains why he was cursed to live in the Tempering Grounds or whatever), and Ardyn crawls up to the Crystal and is rejected, at which point he has a sword driven through his heart (“So, that is how you would end it” indeed) and then presumably chained up in Angelgard when it turns out he can’t die.

Like- I GET that the development team was having some ... issues around that time and a lot of plot stuff probably got scrapped after all the other DLC was canceled (just look at Dawn of the Future and how Ardyn’s two dialogue options in the Bahamut convo were CLEARLY supposed to be the lead up to either the canon ending or the alternate ending but go scrapped and instead are just ... the same ending cutscene starting a little differently) and one of their Important People left the FFXV project altogether but like ... really? You couldn’t either put the anime episode in the field in a private betrayal or put the DLC flashbacks in a throne room with Gilgamesh in the corner?

Then there’s the entire Thing where Regis MEETS Ardyn as the Adagium and yet makes no reference or hints or even unease at seeing the immortal daemon that nearly killed him in the Kingsglaive movie that is set years after Ardyn tries to murder Regis’s face.

Basically what I’m going for here is that in the Ardyn DLC, anything post the Ifrit’s daemonification (and possibly before) is not reliable. Ardyn is not a reliable narrator, and he’s VERY LIKELY not nearly as in control of his own actions as he thinks he is.

Does this completely excuse his actions (like murdering Luna, daemonifying Ravus, making us CHASE PROMPTO AND NEARLY STAB OUR OWN BEST FRIEND BEFORE YEETING HIM OFF A TRAIN, etc?) absolutely not. It’s just- it’s just this Thing I noticed the first time I watched the Ardyn DLC and then the anime episode forever ago and that I’m finally sitting down to ramble about. I genuinely don’t think Ardyn is entirely in control of his actions. I think it’s the Scourge that makes hallucinations tailored to fixation points/things with intense emotion tied to it (love for a child, hate for a betrayer sibling, greed for a magic crystal) and the anger of a centuries upon centuries old Astral that never got his revenge finally pushing Ardyn over the edge that he’d been clinging to for centuries. I don’t know how much an insanity plea factors into stuff like blame and penalty so I won’t offer an opinion on that specific spot. These are just ... some thoughts that hit me.

Also there’s the entire implications I first felt were there when playing the original game that it was awfully convenient that the game’s ending and our supposed victory is actually Ardyn’s plan coming to fruition: the death of the entire Lucis Caelum line and the Chosen King (both of them) that conveniently also ends his suffering as an immortal daemon that keeps coming back after gruesome deaths but I think I’ve made enough of a rambling fool of myself on the internet today so thank you and good day.

ALSO ALSO HOW CONVENIENT IS IT THAT THE SCIENTIST WHO DUG HIM UP AND HAD IFRIT THERE TO BE INFECTED ENDS UP BEING DRIVEN MAD BY ARDYN’S LIES AND DIES BECOMING THE SAME THING HE PRAISED ARDYN TO BE: A DAEMONIC MONSTER WITH AT LEAST MOST OF A MAN’S MIND. HOW CONVENIENT. HOW “COINCIDENTAL”.