#so I force them to watch with me >:-)
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i've litchrally been going crazymode listening to Maintenence Phase, which is my current favorite podcast, and i highly highly recommend it if you like informative podcasts about debunking misinfo around the wellness/health/diet sphere. it's also just really fucking funny, Michael Hobbs and Aubrey Gordon are great hosts and i love their chemistry together. i'd say "if you're a fat person, you gotta listen to this shit" but honestly i don't even need to be that specific, i just think it's good listening in general. like actually, i think skinny people with or without fat friends would greatly benefit from hearing some of these episodes.
#it was actually recommended TO me by ANOTHER fat girl#so on that note I really like their ep covering Supersize Me#which. if you are in or anywhere around my age group. you were forced to watch this.#and Ozempic. which is a much newer / more current phenomenon#it can also AT TIMES be hard to listen to bc for them to debunk some anti-fat claim you do have to start out#by HEARING to the anti-fat claim before you get to the debunking. so like it's nothing we haven't ever heard before#but it can still be tough#in general though it is fast paced and funny so i can keep it pushing#but you just really come face to face with the whole thing of ohh right I forget this is how Fat Peopletm are viewed#sergle.txt#it is amazing though to hear about people who very literally blame all the world's problems on the existence of fat ppl like we're a Scourg
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Man “Battle Nexus: New York” was a great episode but I do have one major gripe with it.
Like. Raph being paired up with Ghostbear? Makes sense. Works great. Works amazing, even.
Mikey being paired up with Meatsweats? Yeah that checks out!!
Donnie getting…Hypno…? I mean. I guess Donnie doesn’t like magic so it kindaaa works but Kendra would have been a much better choice to me personally. Maybe Big Mama didn’t wanna include a human or something…
And Leo getting…uh…one of the Sando Brothers???? Of all villains? Nah let’s be real, his main villain is more Big Mama herself (or Leo could be considered his own worst enemy lmao-). Hell Hypno would have probably worked better here considering their shared love for magic tricks and stuff, but Carl Sando????
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#battle nexus: new york#nah this will always be baffling to me#like no joke big mama really is Leo’s main villain so it makes sense that she’s not paired with him#given that she’s running this all#but giving him ONE of the Sando brothers?? not even both???#outrageous#hypno or even warren would have been better here tbh#at least there’s some basis there for both and either option would have been so fun#not that what we got WASNT fun it def was but the sando bro was the weak link because no one cares about him#and I would have killed for a Donnie Kendra forced team up 😭#Donnie also could have worked with Stockboy ig or hell even Repo tbh?#but Kendra is the much more interesting and fitting choice here for him imo#honestly though this post was made because I do NOT understand the choice of CARL SANDO#both of them together are forgettable enough#separating them gets rid of the one thing they even had#I remember watching and being like who tf is that#he’s got some funny moments but man anyone would have been better 😭#going back to Kendra and Donnie because I LOVE their dynamic#the result of their team up could have ended exactly the same as canon#only instead of Kendra not knowing chess it’s instead her and Donnie arguing about what the right move would be#and they never actually make a move because of it
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Isn’t Vortex a fucking torture freak tho? 👀👀👀
Yep. He is. He is a lot of things actually. The more you learn about him the more fucked up it gets
#at first I was like#ah yes another crazy helicopter#but then I learned the lore haha#hoo boy#the guy was a criminal and was so good at it#the government had to take his spark out of his body and put it in a freezer so he won't break the law anymore#then Starscream took him out and was like#you and your bros are my minions now#btw I made you unable to recharge on your own so uou are basically my hostages#work for me or starve to death losers#and then also Megatron with his Javascript exercises#Seriously. Megs looked at those criminals who were crazy strong and also crazy smart and decided that enslaving them would be a great idea#He basically reprogrammed Vortex and others. He made him literally unable to disobey his orders#what kind of fucked up thing to do Megsy???#G1 was great ahahahah#silly kids show about war and crimes and slavery#also#I might be wrong here because I haven't watch G1 entirely....but I'm pretty sure Combaticons just fuckin. stay Megatron slaves forever??#Like. The code that Megs put in their heads is never mentioned again? And for the rest of the show they forced to serve the Decepticons???#and everyone just?? Forget about them? I repeat I might be wrong here. It would be great if I'm wrong#also yeah Vortex is a torture freak and totally crazy#I saw a note somewhere that mentioned he likes to transform around other bots and then fly as high as he can and drop them#fucker lol
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Every time I think Sasuke’s clear and obvious homosexual obsession with Naruto might be maybe a little one sided, Naruto will do something absolutely insane like walk into his childhood room after two years, grab his dusty picture of Sasuke, gently brush it off, fingers lingering for a moment over Sasuke’s face, and lovingly whisper “Sasuke…I’m home…”
#n-naruto….on god what the hell is wrong with you#SITTING ON HIS BED HOLDING SASUKES PHOTO AND WHISPERING HIS NAME???#H O W does ANYONE watch this fucking show and now IMMEDIATELY clock these two#I’m at the point where I’m starting to think it’s .. just what the author intended#like….who wrote this. and why#I could easily look it up but my fav explanation is ‘person into shonen who had or had a crush on his childhood best friend’#‘and is still working some things out in regards to it’#anyways#I have a theory that this is why classic anime ‘bro’ types don’t like sasuke#they are unable to reckon with the sheer magnetic force of their extremely obvious love for each other#I think it scares them#DOESNT SCARE ME BITCH#NARITO GO GET HIM BACK FROM ORROCHIMARU SO YOU GUYS CAN KISS ITS IMPORTANT#naruto#sasunaru
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I have compeltely lost it🥳
#not even watermarking these i dont want to be associated with them#WHY do i always have to pull a rarepair out my ass#shokohime is a beloved classic that actually makes sense why must i rebuke it#(i dont rebuke it i just like them better for no reason)#idk i was watching a yuki edit with the 'all she eat is dick *loud correct ding*' audio#and suddenly my gut said that is NOT right#and i was like wdym gut?#and shokos face flashed through my mind with the force of one thousand suns#so yeah. i fucked myself over#not even gonna pretend other people ship this cause its crazy#like yuki and choso are CUTE i dont MIND them which is crazy for a straight ship#but something inside me screams WOMAN KISSER at yuki#i choose to listen to the voices#anyways their ship name is cute either way its either yoko or shuki#watch that mean dickpussy in japanese id laugh#but yeah ignore me#shoko ieiri#yuki tsukumo#shuki#cw suggestive#suggestive#wlw#(idk why im pretending thats a tag)#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#chiquilines draws
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nightmare viewing the murder time three as little toys but more in like a little spoiled kid kinda way. because it would be funny and if you take into the account that he was like 6 before getting corrupted and do some mental loopholes it would be even funnier. like these are his dolls (killer dust and horror) and this is their barbie dreamhouse (his castle). they all have to stay in one room because nightmare needs to keep his toys in a toy box. the toys only ever come out when he wants to play but oh damn it they keep on breaking out!! silly toys,,, and then he locks them into the room again.
nightmare serves them food with plastic tea cups and plastic plates and there is no food. there is no tea. they have to imagine the food because dolls can't literally eat. there are food containers and stuff in the house but its all just a bunch of empty boxes. horror starts tweaking out after he scavenges the kitchen and finds a cereal box and milk carton that have NOTHING in it (why keep empty boxes?????)
they have to go where he wants them to go. nightmare gets to dress them up in whatever he wants because theyre his dolls they can wear anything he wants. it gets incredibly embarrassing when the trio is forced to wear pink pretty dresses and fight like that. or they have to go around the castle doing stupid fucking roleplays and it gets weird because theyre being forced to reenact a bullying scene and nightmare's giving them the death stare if they don't get it right (is this projection. this must be some form of coping mechanism dust theorizes)
and then you know nightmare's not exactly the best toy owner so he loses a few of his dolls here and there. maybe they get destroyed when he was playing a bit too rough with them! (killer dies in battle for like the 29th time) but its okay because he can just go back on down to the store (something new) and buy. wait no. steal another doll and then put it back in his dreamhouse and BOOM he has a full set again!! so sweet so cute. his dolls don't have consciousness what are you talking about theyre begging to be let go?? that's all just your imagination. what do you mean you're asking about the several slowly dying bodies with removed arms or legs in his dungeon. oh that's just where the broken but not yet destroyed toys go dw theyre fine its humane
#toy story but evil#imagine nightmare dresses the trio up in dreamtale esque clothes and then forces them to pretend to be his parents#because the stupid shit grew up parentless and now that he has dolls he can just roleplay that now#or he could just make the trio roleplay as a family. one parent two children. huh i wonder where i've heard this before#he's still like totally smart with all the multiversal plans and conquering and manipulation and all that#just that he's still got a bit of childish charm in him yk.🥺🥺🥺 he's sweet and cute 🥺🥺🥺🥺#killer says as he tries not to go insane from being stuck in a room with dust amd horror for weeks on end#nightmare has no sense of boundary for the trio because theyre just little toys for him#if he wants them to change clothes he strips them because dolls cant change by themselves#if he wants them to move a specific way he maneuvers them because dolls cant movs on their own#nightmare's messing around and has all his dolls in the splits because who hasnt done that#dust and horror are in so much pain. killer just feels humiliated#these are GROWN MEN you are objectifying here nightmare. LITERALLY objectifying. but irs okay its funny#dadmare but instead of nightmare being the dad he's the kid. while also simultaneously having all the power#this would go for a sick ass plotline if someone made a fic for it#it aint gonna be me 🤣🤣 but like.... trio has to convince nightmare to stop treating them like goddamn dolls#and nightmare has to change his stupid little kiddy mentality while also they all have to just get on better terms in general#so stupidn so dumb. would the mtt hate eachother during all this. quite possibly#three crazy freaks trapped in one room for unknown amounts of time. homoerotic arguments must have occured#they must know stuff about eachother that they don't wanna know. they all know what they look like naked#nightmare is the leading cause of mtt deaths because he just doesn't know how to properly handle his toys#oops he says as he accidentally breaks horror's neck and dust and killer watch on. guess its time to get a new one!#and he gleefully skips off to horrortale while dust and killer are left with the dusting beheaded body. what a fun time#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#nightmare sans#murder time trio#bad sanses#tricule rant
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[Damian in the Minecraft server excitedly showing Jon his extensive (and ethical) farms that he made while Jon was banned from Minecraft to focus on studying for tests at school]
Jon: ... yeah, you're so shit at Minecraft. Looks nice though!
Damian: ?! what do you mean? I worked hard on these????
Jon: *sigh* I'll show you what a real Minecraft farm looks like!
[Jon brings him to his "farm" and proudly shows off the fact you cannot tell the pixels apart as there are so many animals in one spot]
Damian: I....... have no words for this. Our friendship is about to end over this. Think of their feelings.
Jon: but this is how you play Minecraft 😭😭 next you're going to tell me you don't even eat the animals at your farm and they're just decorative 😭
Damian: I'M A VEGETARIAN. 😡😡😡😡 I MAKE BREAD. 😡😡😡😡😡😡 LOG BACK OUT. 😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡
#hi I'm obsessed with thinking about them having an mc server but it's just the two of them#in my head Jon is 100000% the type of kid who watched people playing mc all the time but never found#fun in playing by himself so he forced Dami to play it with him#so he theoretically knows how to do a lot of stuff but practically is kind of unskilled#like he knows how to enchant his stuff he knows redstone contraptions he can do anything but he CANNOT avoid creepers or endermen#and dami is like 'i'm living my domestic dreams here'#dami would stumble across a bunch of diamonds and then try to get them with a wood pickaxe and then Jon would scream#once he understands how to mine diamonds correctly he doesn't even use them he just puts them in a chest for Jon to use#jon is like 'i want to fight the enderdragon plz come with me' and dami is like 'im busy building a railway system so I can easily#go between our house and the local villages#he probably likes to rebuild/fix up/improve the villages too#jon comes back from a long trip to the nether and Damian is halfway through building his own server batcave#jon kent#damian wayne#damijon#jondami#sorry I'm not gonna shut up about this for a minute I need to heal my inner child
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guillermo del toro’s pinocchio is living in MY heart.....
#pinocchio#illustration#cottagecore#del toro pinocchio#its tea times#OBSESSED with this movie but especially the first section where both gepetto and pinocchio are kind of unhinged#pinocchio is like a deranged little creature. instills genuine fear in the heart at first encounter. i lovb him#i bothered my friends into watching with me in theatres#explained so many times......we r watching pinocchio (del toro) ((NOT fruity))#and Yet.......every single one of them came up at sm point after the movie privately to tell me how pleased they were that#it was Normal and good#for the record i will be subjecting them to marathon of all other 2022 pinocchio incarnations over the holidays#where it will be FREE to witness their resignation in well lit environment#getting to this viewing was like unstoppable force (freak snowstorm) vs immovable object (our dedication to half price movie tuesdays)#with special guest appearance of our city flopping belly up whenever we get 0.5cm of snow cover
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god what really gets me about dead boy detectives and what i think i love so much about the show and the relationships in it is that like. the romantic and sexual relationships aren't portrayed as being more unique or important than the platonic relationships. they're all just RELATIONSHIPS.
charles and crystal's attraction to each other and eventual hookup isn't this big end-all be-all relationship that shatter charles and edwin's friendship and draws charles' attention away from edwin; it's just a THING that happens. they're just two people that care about each other and happen to also be attracted to each other, and a hook-up happens, then they decide that neither of them are in the right place for it and it's nothing awful. crystal kisses charles, but it isn't some big spectacle of her declaring her love for him; it's just her saying goodbye and that she cares about him, like her hugs with niko and jenny and her handshake with edwin.
edwin realizes he loves charles romantically and tells him, and charles says he doesn't really love edwin romantically BACK, but it's okay, because they still love each other so much in so many other ways that this one tiny difference could never change them—and it doesn't!! they're still just as close, still care for each other just as much, still SHOW that care for each other just as much. their relationship didn't completely end because edwin loved charles in a way charles couldn't reciprocate, but at the same time it isn't "solved" by edwin getting over it, because there's nothing TO solve. it's just another type of love, added to everything that already exists between them. and they have LITERALLY FOREVER to figure out what it means.
the relationships between edwin & niko, crystal & niko, and crystal & edwin aren't given any less weight for being solely platonic, just as charles & crystal's relationship and edwin's feelings for charles aren't given (that much) MORE weight for being romantic. crystal and charles' conflict in the closet is about EDWIN, about how they're BOTH his friend and BOTH want to get him back; it has very little to do with the feelings between THEM, romantic or otherwise. similarly, the weight of charles' and edwin's relationship isn't diminished in the LEAST by charles not reciprocating the romantic side of his feelings (or SAYING he doesn't reciprocate, at least—we can all argue about the legitimacy of that in the notes).
i'm sure there are more examples than this, as well as probably some examples that CONTRADICT this, but like... by and large, it feels like dead boy detectives is a show where all the relationships are given equal weight regardless of platonic, sexual, romantic, or familial status, and as someone on both the asexual and aromantic spectrums who has struggled time and time again with shows casting out the importance of all other relationships in favor of prioritizing romance, that is INCREDIBLY refreshing to see.
#this might be a lot of run-on sentences and me repeating itself because its 2 am rn (sidenote how the HELL did it get that late last i chec#-ed it was like 11???) but i hope u enjoy anyway 👍#magpie thoughts#dead boy detectives#ik before watching the show i saw a lot of people were annoyed by charles and crystal's relationship and thought it felt forced and like#-they had no romantic chemistry#but honestly. having watched the show. i don't see that at all?#like maybe it's just me being aspec and not getting what ''romantic chemistry'' even IS but like. they were people. they were two fucked up#-people that happened to be attracted to each other and they hooked up when both of them were in low places and agreed to not go any furthe#-after. but beyond all of that they are FRIENDS and they STAY friends and like. they just felt like PEOPLE#the way they were written and the way the actors ACTED IT felt like ten times better to me than the dozens of pinacle romances i've seen in#-other tv shows#(and also i gotta say i love the other CASUALNESS with which sex was mentioned in the early episodes. it wasnt made out to be this big thin#-that only happens when tied to romance; it was just a THING. theyre both hot and in different circumstances they totally would have had se#-about it (and eventually they did but thats besides the point). that's it)#they're people. this is a show full of ghosts and demons and witches and crows-turned-into-boys but they are all fundamentally just PEOPLE#beautiful and fucked up human beings that feel attraction and hurt and fear and love in a million different ways.#AUGH i love this show so much#paineland#payneland#crystal palace#charles rowland#edwin payne#niko sasaki#dead boy detective netflix#dbda
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Shout out to leading men in Netflix shows from the early 20th century in nicely tailored suits who live only to simp for the love of their lives, gotta be one of my favourite genders!
#halit#midnight at the pera palace#francisco gomez#las chicas del cable#tv#there's SO many parallels between them excuse me while i go insane!!! 🥺🙃🙃#francisco 🤝 halit joining forces in ruining my expectations of men#pls watch matpp and for your health don't watch lcdc!! 👍👍
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Merry yaoi to all who celebrate (I binged the first three twilight movies and I’m still mad that there wasn’t any body exploration between these two)
#twilight#carlisle cullen#charlie swan#twilight fanart#carlisle cullen x charlie swan#this is maybe the best and worst thing I’ve ever drawn#l am not a twilight girlie#I watched the movies for the first time yesterday#because my friend forced me to#and I hate them so bad#but these two!#amazing#phenomenal characters#let them fuck!#imagine twilight but it’s them instead of Edward and Bella#INSTANTLY better#merry yaoimas
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i have been unable to stop thinking about these two since volume 1 dropped on friday and my witcher hyperfix just hit me again at full fucking force
in other words THEY FINALLY GAVE US THE QUEER POLY BARD WE DESERVED RAAAHHHHHHH
#the witcher#twn#the witcher netflix#s3#the witcher spoilers#jaskier#radovid#jaskier x radovid#radskier#jaskovid#also art block has kinda been fucking me up again but i FORCED myself to draw them#be proud of me pls#im literally screaming rying throwing up#i've been waiting SO LONG FOR THIS#also its funny bc i was literally on ep 2 watching together with my mom and my bff and i was like ...is this queerbait or not... in my head#so i quickly went on twt to check#AND I WAS HIT WITH THE KISS SCENE#MY JAW WAS LTIERALLY ON THE FLOOR#AND MY FRIEND JUST LOOKED AT ME LIKE#are you good???#AND SHE LOOKS OVER AT MY PHONE AND HER JAW DROPS TOO#i rewatched that kiss at least 200 times by now#im unwell#okay sorry enough tag spamming#my art#michsmeesh#i just felt like changing my username again soz
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gymnast kaito x sharpshooter shinichi meet-cute in the olympics au
#kaishin#i can already hear my brain going BUT SOCCER PLAYER SHINICHI RAAAAAAHHHHH#but shapshooter shinichi tho cmoooon CMOOONN#yall have seen the olympic athletes yall have seen the flavor#i saw yeji and yusuf and im like OKAY SHINICHI SHARPSHOOTER#also gymnast kaito this is canon in my brain idc#i would love to see kaito's floor routine like pleaaaaaseeee#also that one epke zonderland london 2012 high bar routine but make it kuroba fucking kaito RAAAAHHH#also also in my mind shinichi would only wear glasses and he'd affectionately call it 'conan'#idk a whole lot about the olympics and either sports so im not confident enough to make hcs#thats why im just yapping here LOL#might binge watch some olympics related videos and articles later idk#yell some hcs for this au at me I'd love to know!!!!!!#dc prattles#ALSO FUN IF KAITO GREW UP IN PARIS AND HE'S REPRESENTING FRANCE WHEWWWW#but it's also fun if kaishin are both team jp and theyret meeting for the first time yippeeee#akai would be shinichi's coach maybe 🤔#also i looked it ip and apparently karate was removed from the official olympic games FUCK but WE DONT CARE BECAUSE#OLYMPIC ATHLETE BESTIES SONOSHINRAN MY BELOVED I WILL FIGHT FOR YOU#anyway sonoko in gymnastics ran in karate and sharpshooter shinichi WOW WOW WAIT MY BRAIN HAVING A MASSIVE ROT RIGHT NOW#oh you just know sonoko does all those tiktoks with a shy but excited ran and completely forced to participate shinichi LMAO#kaishin meet through sonoko ofc 👀👀👀#sonoko and kaito are besties too and are familiar with each other for both being in the gymnastics scene#anyway kaito and shinichi meet and kiss and fall in love#ALSO SHINICHI THIRSTING OVER KAITO'S MUSCLES LMAOOOO#AND KAITO THIRSTING OVER A FULLY CLOTHED SHINICHI POISED FOR A SHOT LIKEEEE#oh they wanna makeout real bad i fear#ALSO KAITO IS THAT ONE ATHLETE WHO KEEPS STEALING THE CHOCOLATE MUFFINS IN THE OLYMPIC VILLAGE LMFAOOOO#the tiktoks of that guy was so funny lol i just know kaito would do the same#you know what maybe I should've just typed this on the post and not on the tags but it's too late now LMAO i want more of them tho omg 😳
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the frenemies of all time
it was so hard to find pictures of them in the same shots 😭 they're in the same scenes all the time but not the same shots- i think it's actually a purposeful choice by the animators to show they're not actually allied, which i think is cool
#i could watch an entire series JUST about these guys#idk they're so interesting#you can argue that their interactions are shallow & not thought out BUT I ARGUE DIFFERENT#they could definitely be developed 👀#rip i couldn't find a photo with reirei and mzingo. tbf the vultures aren't in all the battles#or reirei and ushari#or mzingo and ushari#but its fine#this is making me realise janja is basically the main character of the outlands lol#but yeah. they're so interesting to me#the forced bonding after jasiri's reformation of the outlands would be so funny#can i just say. the shot of mzingo and kiburi is hilarious LMAO#anyway i'll stop rambling now...#ME FORGETTING I WROTE A FIC ABOUT JUST THEM-#okay i'll actually shut up now#the lion guard#tlg#tlg outlanders#tlg leaders#scar's army#janja#mzingo#reirei#ushari#kiburi
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can.. can I ask for an affectionate reader with characters who aren’t normally like… used to the love? like, not just through words but physical affection like hand-holding, kisses, hugs, all that shebang. probably with a few people like yelan, ei, basically any character that is either cut-off from society or seems socially distant or isolated. 😞
☆ affectionate reader with yelan, ei, & furina
[ 4.2 Archon Quest spoilers ]
× yelan
Varies between how you display your affection, to be honest. Just like being affectionate with people? She's cool with it as long as you don't pop by while she's working (mostly because she'll end up dragging you into it for a bit of fun). I don't think she's all that touchy feely herself, but she'll absolutely get you gifts instead– like pretty knick nacks? She'll make sure to snag any she thinks you might like. Like a good meal? Sure, she'll take you out to one of the restaurants in the city, doesn't matter how expensive. Her treat. If you do prefer physical gifts rather then being taken out, you'll eventually get used to the random unmarked letters and packages showing up where your staying pretty often. It's obvious to know who it came from even if she never signs anything.
Flirty reader, though? Whole nother can of worms and now it's a challenge. The more confident you are the more interested she is. The other acolytes would absolutely seethe at the idea but she has no hesitation at just straight up flirting back– she's as charismatic as they come and she's got a poker face that's basically impenetrable. She'll probably also make a bet to see who cracks first (she always wins, unsurprisingly). Probably won't get dragged into any of her schemes this way but if you ask politely maybe she'll consider it, anyway.
The smell of freshly brewed tea and the clatter of dice across wood was a common sight at the Yanshang Teahouse– less common was the woman secluded in the far corner, her lips pulled into a grin that flashed fangs and a look that would scare off the most confident of men.
She'd normally try to scope out any new blood that'd made the mistake of stepping into her teahouse and was equally stupid enough to accept a gamble against her just for the thrill of it, but she was far too absorbed in the warm body at her side, one of her die clasped tightly in their hand as she guided them through the motions– they had a knack for it, she had to admit. The thought made her preen, the clatter of the die as it rolled across the table giving her that subtle, familiar rush.
Even if she knew exactly where it'd land.
"Six. Hm, maybe you're just lucky," She muses, plucking the die from the table and holding it up to her eye like a prized jewel, "Or maybe you're not as innocent as you'd have us believe." There's a sharp glint in her eyes at the prospect, but everyone else has the sense to keep their heads down and their words to themselves as she tosses the die herself.
"So why don't we find out and make a bet, just between you and me?"
× ei
Varies between Ei and the Shogun, because you'll probably be seeing either as much as the other. Sometimes you gotta really squint to tell who it is sometimes, but you get used to it. Both are fairly similar, though, in that their first instinct (especially in public) is to tense up like you're about to attack them or something. Difference is Ei eventually relaxes after a solid minute of trying to process your sudden affection and, if no one else is around, she might even reciprocate. Just don't tease her for being a little stiff and awkward about it, she's trying. That's what happens when your only company is a robot and uh. Nothing. For like 500 years. She's trying. Raiden, on the other hand, is just about as awkward as you can imagine. She's polite (blunt) about it because Ei is fond of you and also you are. The Creator. But she's not really built to deal with personal relationships and so she doesn't know how to deal with affection.
..Depending on what you do you may or may not blue screen Ei hard enough that she retreats back to PoE
Ei usually isn't fond of sitting still, unless it's to meditate. At least then she goes in with a purpose, something to achieve– but now, she's just focused on trying not to make a fool of herself. Her muscles are starting to ache from how hard she's tensing, though, in an effort to sit as straight and still as possible as their hands glide through her hair, weaving it into a single braid.
She can just barely hear the subtle lilt of their voice as they hum– and though it is soothing, it is also..very distracting. She can't focus long enough to try and meditate, too lost in the gentle rise and fall of their voice and the care they take to braid her hair. If she'd had a heart, she'd sure it'd be beating so wildly against her ribcage they could hear it.
But then it stops– their hands fall back to their sides and their humming falters. She freezes, too, racking her brain for any slights she must have committed. Instead, she is met with a calm, tender touch on the back of her neck, making her inhale sharply.
"Am I making you uncomfortable, Ei? You're so tense.." She has to grit her teeth to stop herself from bowing so low her head presses against the ground, her hands folded in her lap, clenching instinctively. "..No, Divine One." She answers simply, trying to contain the adoration swelling in her chest.
Yet as much as she tries to relax, to ease their worries, she finds that she cannot.
"Hm." That small murmur, a simple sound that nearly made her jump, was the only warning she got before they scooted closer, wrapping their arms around her stomach and resting their chin on her shoulder with a grin she would liken to Miko's, if she dared to make such a comparison. "Really?"
She swears she must've been feverish at the affection, lightheaded and dazed until she thought she might simply perish at the brush of their hands against her own.
Much to her embarrassment, however, she doesn't realize she's instinctively pulled back into Plane of Euthymia until she sees the familiar dull purples engulf her vision once again.
Though only a small solace, it seemed a little..brighter, this time.
× furina
Varies between pre 4.2 and post 4.2 archon quests to be honest.
Pre 4.2 she comes off as very vain– of course the most Divine would see fit to spoil her with affection! She deserves it, and is obviously their favorite! Just don't look too hard because she's terrible at hiding how flustered she actually is. Absolutely goes home right after and screams into her pillow for at least thirty minutes minimum.
Post 4.2 she's a lot more openly bashful and flustered. She's really not used to affection and even the smallest show of it has her folding immediately. Now that she doesn't need to worry about being found out she's a lot more receptive to affection. Cup her cheeks and compliment her and her knees are buckling. Like. Especially weak for compliments and praise (she deserves it. please spoil her).
She swears she must be hallucinating– she had been having trouble sleeping recently. But..no. The visage of the Creator was as real as the sweat beading on her brow as she stared at them for a long, awkward moment. Should..she let them in? But then they'd see the pathetic state she was in, and the last thing she wanted to do was make a fool of herself in front of them-!
Her choice was quickly made for her, anyway, as she let out an undignified squeak of surprise when they suddenly tugged her forward into their chest, enclosing her in a hug.
Her first reaction was to freeze– her second was becoming absolutely flustered, her cheeks flushing a soft pink and her mouth closing and opening as she tried to find her words.
"I– ah..um." She stumbled over her words instead, floundering like a fish out of water. Yet she felt a distinct sense of emptiness wash over her when they finally pulled back, looking a touch sheepish. "Sorry, sorry– you just looked like you needed a hug."
The silence spoke for itself, her shoulders tensing slightly. But the way the concern and affection bled through their voice made her waver, her hands trembling as she let out a shaky breath that almost sounded like a sigh.
"It's..It's fine! Fine, I'm fine." She repeated, trying desperately to ignored the way her voice cracked and how hot her face felt– though it was more an attempt to affirm herself that she was not thinking about how warm they felt, how much she..actually enjoyed the hug. She wasn't thinking about it all! Absolutely not!
..Maybe a little.
"Just warn me next time, please?"
#asks#sagau#genshin sagau#self aware genshin#genshin impact sagau#self aware genshin impact#fic tag#genshin cult au#genshin impact cult au#yelan#furina#ei#THIS DIDNT SHOW UP IN MY INBOX UNTIL LIKE#NOVEMBERBIM SORRY IM ANSERRING IT SO LATE??????#tumblr working right is a miracle that will never happen#anyway can u tell i have. biases. there r so many characters I wanted to write for this (shenhe.........) but I forced myself to limit it#to 4 for my own sanity and everyones elses#also didnt know if u wanted just yan or sagau so I went for my specialty 🧍♂️#was gonna include my beloved cryo archon but decided against it#ei the pathetic lesbian that u r....mwah#I'm sorry this took so long it took me 50 yrs to figure out yelan.. 😭#i am still not confident abt my characterization of her but shes so good at her job even im confused abt her#reading her lore crying and sobbing in the corner. shaking her like a can of soda#checks note idk uhh cocky doesnt let herself form personal relationships charismatic uhhhhhhhh#idk dont ask me i just started praying and hoping for the best here#i think she'd get a kick out of getting reader into like. fudging rolls and shit. create an absolute menace out of reader#set them loose and see what chaos happens#just kicks back and watches it all unfold internally laughing her ass off#i didnt know whether to just do headcanons in uh. bulleted list or like#full on drabbles
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Benny would be thrilled by Nick Valentine. Like I know the concept of synths and replacing people would initially shock him but I don’t think for long.
He’s not a technology guy by any means but he certainly appreciates it and understands what it can do. He’d be pro-synth and synths at people for purely pragmatic reason at first but seeing some noir detective would have him thinking of all the ways he could improve on his plan if he had that tech for Yes-Man.
If Yes-Man could pass as human he’d have no reason to hide him and could even have him buddy up with the rest of the Chairmen! Even if he’s found out and House wants him and especially synth Yes-Man out their is a loyalty to them that is only made stronger that Yes-Man looks like them now. It’s also such a complex thing for Yes-Man too now to struggle with “humanity” in a new context and his teacher tragic being Benny Fucking Gecko.
#also nicks like super cool in his mind cause in my heart Benny is like#a science fiction fan boy and big reason he listened to house at first is house offered something cool and had cool shit to back it up#Benny is like to me a man who is petty but not childish as the wasteland has allowed very few kids to have real childhoods#so he’s silly about somethings like when you give an adult a childhood toy and watch them become kids again#but it’s different here cause he’s an authority figure now and also he’s like planning a coo#so all his child behavior is forced to come out through his personality and choices and why he seems like a man child#fallout#fallout new vegas#benny gecko#benny fnv#yes man fnv#fallout 4#this was supposed to just be about Benny finding synths cool but then I kinda got off track in the notes#Benny would have a crush on nick and want to be his cartoon rival cause like holy shit seedy mob boss Rat pack type#and big city detective??? why are they not kissing in the floor#nick valentine
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