#snowy rambling nonsense

[knightlysnowy]

i should make more madcom art,, but i also wanna do art of other things.. but then i also wanna continue gaming,, but als-

[theblueseassoul]

“Exauhsted.”

It’s been a long day.

I might make a part two.

Song listened to while writing: “What the water gave me - Florence + The Machine”

Zayne x Reader

Love and deep space fan fiction

Talk of mental health.

No use of Y/n. Gender neutral reader. Read in the second person. Established relationship.

This past week has been hell. And the most annoying part is that you have absolutely no idea why. This happened once in a while, but it hadn’t happened in so long so you thought you’d be able to escape it for a while longer. Instead, here you sat curled up in your work chair, arms around your legs and gazing out of the window nearby once more. At least it had a nice view of the city, you thought, as you watched time pass. You sighed softly, closing your eyes for a moment. Not even a few moments later, you heard someone call out your name. You winced, hoping if you hid your head in your arms they wouldn’t see you, but you knew that isn’t how it worked. They called your name again.

When you looked up, you found Alexander. Alexander was your co-worker, and often took your kindness for granted. You worked hard, everyone knew that, you even took on missions that you weren’t even required to do. You loved your job. This was something you’d dreamed of for… you don’t know how long. So of course you put everything you had into it, you were protecting people by doing your job. It was worth it. However, Alexander made you hate it just for a moment. a brief moment but a moment nonetheless. He grinned, brown hair annoyingly messy as was his uniform. “Are you done with that assignment I asked you to help me with?” He asked, leaning against your desk.

You raised a brow slightly but offered your politest smile. You could have done better on a better day, however this was not one of them, so that was the best he would get. “I did. I saw you had a lot of errors though. You missed a lot of dangerous-“ as you pulled it up to show him what had gone wrong, he waved his hand and cut you off.

“It’s whatever. No one actually reads them.” Alexander’s tone was dismissive, not even glancing at the highlighted sections. You looked at the title of the document and resisted the urge to roll your eyes. It was a complete overview of one of the sectors of the city getting more wanderers by the day, and metaflux’s. You knew people read them because you were people. These were given out to hunters for assignments to know what to expect. They were updated frequently and needed to be as accurate as possible for both hunter and civilian safety. You looked back at him.

“Yes, we do.” You stated, losing the patience you had to smile. “It’s actually vital for us hunters and the civilians who might come across these areas. You know that right? That lives depend on these reports?”

He scoffed, mumbling dismissive none sense and waving his hand in the air once more before saying “thanks for finishing it anyways. See you tomorrow yeah?” As he turned his back, you rolled your eyes and put your head face in your hands, mocking him under your breath.

“See you tomorrow! Whatever.” You murmured and once you knew he was out of the room, groaned in annoyance as you leaned back into your chair. “No one reads it anyways.” You mocked again, shaking your head. “Come on. It’s like you forgot the…” you went on into a nonsensical ramble and continued, until you noticed your phone buzzing next to your mouse. You sat up, picking up your phone and reading the caller ID. It read ‘snowy seal.’ It was Zayne, your doctor, and your boyfriend who didn’t call out of the blue often. You raised a brow and picked up, and he spoke almost immediately.

“There you are.” He hummed into the speaker, and as you started to question him, he continued “I texted you when my shift ended. Usually you’re done by now, are you working over time? You know you shouldn’t.” He warned you. You smiled softly. You knew he was lecturing you again, but it made you feel all warm inside knowing he cared so much. He was stern about it, but he was always that way. It was part of his charm.

“No, I was just..” you sighed, blowing a raspberry as you stood up. You turned off your computer with one hand while you held the phone up to your ear with the other “A co worker wanted to speak with me. Did you need something?” You asked, putting your jacket on your fore arm and picking up your back. He paused for a moment, the sound of a car rushing by before he started talking again.

“I’m waiting outside. Hurry, let’s go home.” Zayne said, and you swore you could hear the soft grin through the phone. Once you had everything and said goodbye to everyone, you left, and it only took a few steps before you heard your boyfriend’s cool voice calling your name. You smiled in almost relief, and wrapped your arms around him immediately. He hugged you back, one arm firmly around your waist and the other against your back holding you close to him.

At home, after you’d gotten changed and showered, you decided to do the dishes. They were piling up anyways. So you rolled your sleeves up, and started to empty the dishwasher. Usually, this task came easily to you. Of course you had your moments when motivation wasn’t at its peak, but if you forced yourself to do it, you would find yourself more content by the end of it. It was the same with a lot of house hold chores. You didn’t mind doing them, it was your house, of course you should take care of it. But it was just.. hard sometimes. You felt like a child because of it, how emotional you got over small things. Bouts of depression, Zayne called it. When it was hard to do anything at all. You forced your way through it though, with the help of your trusty doctor.

While you put the dishes away, you had dropped a plastic cup. You clicked your tongue softly in annoyance, “god..” you murmured and picked it up, rolling your eyes at yourself before putting it in its cabinet. Then, after a while, you dropped a spatula after letting go too early. This too made your patience wane. You felt the pricking feeling in the back of your eyes when you got frustrated, and got even more frustrated. You sighed and placed the spatula in its drawer, muttering “stay.” Before closing it. The last straw was when you were putting away pans, when they all fell out of the cabinet because they wouldn’t fit. At this point you weren’t sure if you wanted to scream or cry. The clashing and clanging was more than enough to wince, and you had to step back for a moment and try not to absolutely break down then and there. You flexed your hands, taking a deep breath. “This is ridiculous to get upset about.” You told yourself. You headed to the fridge for a drink, and on the way.. you ended up ramming your side into the island corner.

Zayne had walked into the kitchen then. Just as you simply gave up, sliding against the island and to the floor, covering your face. He heard you muttering to yourself about something stupid, being annoyed, and such. He knew how you got. You must’ve had a hard day, he thought. Or week. Or month. And so he carefully knelt down beside you, hand on your arm. “Honey.” He called, softly, in a tone he only ever used with you to calm you. Usually you felt special. Right now you were just filled with conflicting emotions you didn’t really know what to do or how to respond.

“Not even something to get upset about. Just dishes.” You groaned to yourself as you pulled your head up from your hands. Zayne carefully pulled you up to your feet, and walked you into your bedroom, rubbing your shoulder the whole time. He listened to your nonesense words, talking about how “I don’t even know why they all fell out.” Or “I’m so clumsy today. What is wrong with me.” Sometimes it wasn’t words, just noises sort of mushed together. He understood anyways.

Zayne sat you down on the bed, and crawled in beside you. He pulled the comforter over the both of you and opened an arm towards you, offering a hug if you wanted it. You leaned into him almost immediately, and his arm wrapped around you tightly, to keep you firmly against his side. He was silent for a while. He usually waited for you to start talking about what bothered you, because he didn’t want you to talk about it if you didn’t feel up to it. You did this time, but you didn’t even know what the issue was. That was what made it so frustrating. He rubbed his thumb against your arm, and asked softly “rough day?”

You sniffed. “I don’t know.” You shook your head, and he nodded slightly, to let you know he was listening. You continued, “I did what I usually do. I fought wanderers. Did reports. Alexander, he handed me an unfinished report and asked if I could do it because he had so much to do and I said yes.”

“The man who never finishes on time?”

“Yeah.” You nodded to Zayne’s question. “So I did. I found some stuff wrong so I corrected them and told him about it and he said..” you rolled your eyes, your lips pulling into a frown “no one ever reads them so why doesn’t it matter.” You threw a hand up slightly. “Like he doesn’t know that it’s actually crucial. Like what it a civilian wandered there and got hurt because we didn’t keep them from it because the report said there wasn’t any danger but there was. Someone could die. It’s our job to protect these people, you know?” You dropped your hand helplessly and shuffled closer to Zayne. “But that isn’t even what made me upset. It was dropping dishes.” You scoffed.

He hummed softly as he listened to you, leaning his head against yours as you curled into him further. When you stopped your ramble, he pressed a soft kiss to the top of your head before he spoke “it sounds like you’re just overwhelmed. It happens, it’s alright.” Zayne said, rocking you back and forth slightly with him. His words were always carefully chosen, you could tell by the slow way he spoke and the pauses between his sentences. It was a nice grounder though. “You’ve been working very hard lately. I’m proud of you, you know.” This was just above a whisper, just for your ears. He rested his chin against your head again.

“You should take a day off.” Zayne suddenly suggested. You looked up at him, puzzled. He glanced at you and chuckled softly and continued to explain “you deserve it. You haven’t taken a day off in.. ages. If you do, I’ll stay here and take care of you. You can come into the office with me as well, if you want.” He said, squeezing your shoulders gently. You debated it, tilting your head into him and looking down at your hands laying in your lap.

“Mm.” You hummed softly in thought. You debated it, wondering if it was a good idea. You have been working hard lately, it wouldn’t hurt to have a day off. Just one. With Zayne, no less. He was usually drowning with work, it would be nice to have a just the two of you day. You nodded “I’d like that.” You finally said, looking up at him.

He smiled softly, a smile he only gave you. Warm, and filled with so much love it made your heart melt every time you saw it. “Good.” He kissed your forehead, and then your nose bridge, the tip of your nose, and then two firm ones against your cheeks, kissing away the trails the tears from before had left. “Let’s get you to bed early then. I’ll make dinner, after you’ll take your medicine, and tomorrow we will have lots of staying home to do.” He said, happily. You nodded, a warm smile spreading over your lips to match his.

[dragon-tummy]

Sighing. Snowy owl taur Sampo.

Clarifying: not a harpy. He's human from the waist up, and his body just replaced the head of the bird, like how centaurs replace the neck and head of a horse.

Cracking my knuckles. Ramble time. I'm half asleep, so grammar and spelling might be bad.

My first instinct was to just babble about his nature and how well it ties into an owl. Quiet and somewhat goofy, but clearly has more beyond that. Not many people would consider owls as dangerous, at least not from what I've seen.

I can definitely see him storing his little bombs in the feathery fluff of his chest. All it takes is a quick shake of his body to send them scattering across the floor. It's unknown how exactly, but I absolutely adore the thought of some unexplainable hammerspace nonsense. It just fits him.

With my previous rambles, yes, he still gets cold when he's more predatory. His feathers ruffle in the need to release energy, a cold fog coming from his taur half.

Sometimes, when he's hiding in the snow, it's difficult for his human half to get beneath if it's too thin of a layer. He'll pretend he's a normal dude until people are close enough, where he'll then shake off the snow and hop up. I definitely see him hopping after people rather than flying, because again, it just feels like it fits him.

BLUE TUMMY!!! CYAN BLUE!!! LIKE ICE!!! Despite what you'd think, it's actually warm. Stomach walls are colder around the top, hotter around the bottom. The chill from his throat, when swallowed, is soothed by the comfortable heat of the Best Tummy Ever.

Mmm... looking at snowy owl taur Sampo with my stupid ass smile. Let me in. LET ME INNNNNN.

[jessicas-pi]

Paint Bombs, Pixie Cuts, And Elopement: How To Spite Your Mother, Troll Your Friends, Scandalize Everybody, And Escape An Arranged Marriage (You Might Just Save The Day, Too)

I am fascinated by this title, what do you want to talk about for this fic?

Ooh!!

So, this is my Medieval AU 2 Electric Boogaloo, as I like to call it. It's the sequel to Matchmaking, Mad Science, And Accidental Child Acquisition. The first fic was about Ahsoka, Barriss, Caleb/Kanan, and Cal, and this one is (mostly) about Sabine and Ezra (But the rest of the Space Family make appearances, as well as some OT characters).

Oh, there's so much I could talk about! So, I'm gonna ramble!

The first fic happens in the palace in Jedha, but this one is at the Winter Court of Mandalore. Originally, this one was going to be set in Jedha too, but I changed it up for an interesting contrast. During the first book, Jedha is hosting a celebration over the end of the Clone War; in this one, Mandalore has just ended a civil war, but there's no celebration. Jedha is a desert; Mandalore's Winter Court is (as you can imagine from the name) cold and snowy. Just some fun facts there. Anyway, the Winter Court is full of (as one would expect from Mandalorians) backstabbing and betrayal so it's best to tread carefully there, and avoid upsetting powerful political enemies.

That said, Sabine and Ezra come in like a bull in a china shop.

Within, like, a week, they've started a raging scandal. Which makes the family of Sabine's betrothed Very Angry. And Sabine's like, hey, hold on, this is a great idea! Because, if the engagement goes all the way to marriage, she's going to be Gar Saxon's daughter-in-law, and nobody wants that, except maybe Gar Saxon and his son.

So, anyway, Sabine's like "Ezra, how would you like to make several important people very mad?" and he's like "sounds fun!" and she's like "Cool! Pretend to be in love with me."

It goes fine, for a while! Except then (cause it's me and i'm hopeless for these two) Ezra gradually realizes that maybe he did not actually Get Over The Feelings like he thought he did, and wouldn't you know it, now he's not pretending anymore and there's lots of pining and hiding feelings and finally one of those Mid-Argument Yelled Confessions Of Love.

And that's not even getting into the double-elopements, and Jacen Syndulla being an adorable lil guy, and ~political intrigue~, and Ketsu not wanting to deal with this nonsense but also being deeply interested in how it turns out, and Luke and Leia and Han, and some extremely niche foreshadowing/references/jokes that I think like maybe ONE person will get, and assassination attempts, and a half-serious-half-cracky enemies-to-lovers background ship, and The Wedding Fight, and wolves, and poetic symbolism, and possibly darth maul.

Also, I translated an 1843 Irish Romantic aria into Mando'a for this fic.

[cantankerouscanuck]

Tell me @parksrway is it because of the strange yet familiar darkness of it all? Of when the world is silent and you can hear naught but your footsteps echoing through a desolate land? Of being among the purest embodiment of the stars that have long died, the sky aglow by the ghost-light of their distant deaths thousands of years before we were even born? Or is it something simpler, like the wanderlust of the snowy forests and the joys of finding a warm hearth in due time?

Or am I just rambling nonsensically? XD

pictures like these make me feel a profound sense of sadness and longing that I can't explain

[ms--galactic]

*me platonically falling in love w/ Macgyver {MAHKGEEVER} etc other shows like Walker (og), Nash Bridges & all the other CRAP I WUV WUV * since I've seen it likeeeeeee uhm-uhm-uhm- last year I think???

My mom: You're a weirdo ( something like that )

*Also me* HAAHHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHSHJSHEIWJSEJWJ SOJEEJWOWJDHWO J DAMN IT I WANT TO HUG YOU MAHKGEEVER & TINTIN [ + CHEEK KISSIES] BUT EVERYONE IS A HACK & ARE RUDE & ALWAYS TAKING IT THE WRONG WAY😑😵🙃🙃🙃😤🤔😒🧐🙄 *ANGY TINTIN TIME*

[snowy-weather]

Confession:

I’ve never in my entire life had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

I prefer peanut butter and hagelslag. XD

[maskedmuses]

@alexandriteobscura​​ asked:  Given the circumstances, her lineage, etc etc did Yakumo's journey through the desert make her feel more or less like herself? Did she ever find anything worthwhile while making her way through?

STRAP IN BECAUSE I’M ABOUT TO HAVE A WHOLE THING ABOUT THIS

Shinzo is a 20 year old series, but just a warning, spoilers ahead.

(Also here is a drabble I made about this, which is up for supplemental info).

So, because many people don’t know, the Desert is a segment in Shinzo that serves as a bridge between Arc 1 and Arc 2 (the series is too short for two seasons, and the halting point between one and the other is literally in the middle of an episode, so I refer to it as arcs). After the battle with Dark Mushrambo, Yakumo loses her friends and is forced to make a choice: stay behind and mourn them, or press on with her journey.

Through her connection to them, however, she hears their voices and with that, is pushed forward, where due to timey-wimey stuff, the timeline is reset and her friends are alive, but have no memory of her.

THIS IS WHERE I CAN GO ON FOR HOURS, BUT THIS HONESTLY TURNED OUT SHORTER THAN I EXPECTED. If you have any questions about this, feel free to shoot me more asks about this!

So, Yakumo’s lineage involved in this at all is simply what she has been guided to do. She has to press on towards the West, because that’s what her father wanted. Her father wanted her to find Shinzo and the humans again, even if it was confirmed that all except her were killed on the day she was cryogenically frozen. Aside from the push from her friends (from the beyond), she knew she could not stop. Despite the fact it would mean she would have to walk the entire thing to get to the other side (and her upbringing certainly did not make her more resilient towards the heat and sand), Yakumo had to push through all the obstacles ahead of her.  

During the battle against Mushrambo, Yakumo awakened to the power of the crystal inside of her. This power allowed her telekinetic powers, as well as a link to her friends (who were reduced to similar crystals—and is a whole other topic of what those crystals actually were, which isn’t what we’re talking about here). This helped her push forward, even with minimal water and the long trek (since she is shown only with a small backpack) through the miles of sand and nothingness.

The Desert became a halting point in the world. As soon as she entered it, it was when time stopped for her. The world around her reset to the point where she had woken up, humans coming back to life, but the world forgetting about the girl that had been the catalyst to it. The world turned back three years, but left her in the desert as she was. She became a link between the timelines; Yakumo was the only one who could remember the original past, and even as her friends came back, their minds had been reverted to before they ever met her. Something she would come to know about as she persisted further into the dunes.

Through the desert, she had a vision of the Guardians, the Celestial Beings that watch over the universe, and it was revealed to her who the true villain behind the curtain was: the fallen Guardian, Lanancuras. Until this time, the Guardians were never a factor in her life, but with the realization of her place within the world and how she had been chosen by them to fight against the force of evil, it was something she had to accept.

Yakumo was no longer simply a girl looking for the humans. She was now Enterra’s last hope, and had only been brought into the future to meet her friends and have her journey, because of their kindness. The vision she had been given was delivered through the visage of someone she trusted, someone she had realized she loved not long before his demise during the battle. It was something to soften the blow and allow her to accept her mission, even with the consequences at the end.

Accepting them, accepting that she would no longer be living a life for herself, but for all Enterra, Yakumo steeled her heart. It was the first time she had ever seen the Enterran Flower of Hope. It was the last time she could live for herself.

As soon as her gem was revealed by the Guardians, it was placed to work. She honed her skills within the sandy terrain, and she prepared herself. As she trekked, Yakumo lost the innocent ideal of no violence. It was either destroy the Kadriens and their master, Lanancuras, or have them take everything away from her again. The girl grew into a woman who could wield her power to suppress Lanancuras from emerging, as well as destroy those in her way.

Eventually, Yakumo knew her body could not handle the power it had been given. It was draining her life with every use. Mushra and her friends were needed to finish off Lanancuras, but as the weeks past under the boiling sun, she knew she would not be able to see the end of it. Being forgotten had been a boon in her mind. As much as she knew she loved Mushra (as she had discovered when Mechano City Fell, I also have a drabble regarding that scene), as much as she wanted to be able to tell him everything and have a life with him once it was over, Yakumo knew what the outcome would be.

By the time she found Mount Shinzo, she could barely move, much less do anything else. It was why, despite her dismay of the strength she both gained and lost in the desert, she had to send Binka to retrieve her friends. What Yakumo lost in the desert was the humanity she had always been so lively with, and instead became more akin to the angel that Mushra and Binka called her.

Distant from her friends, with the revelations from the desert, Yakumo knew she could not get close to them again. She had to stay aloof, because if she allowed herself to be more human, it would be a detriment to saving the world. Her happiness was left in the desert in favor of saving the world from being consumed. She lost the pieces of her that were innocent and eager.

The Desert took everything away from Yakumo, and even still, she pressed on, for her friends. For her world, and only for her to keep offering up until her life was forfeit as well. The price of power that she gained in there was only to push her to death, so that she, who had become like a dam between the two timelines, could vanish and intermingle with one another. It was why she alone had been in the desert, while the world around her changed.

Going in an innocent girl and coming out a determined martyr. That was what the Desert did to Yakumo.

[fadebolt]

Personal room rankings:

1 - Outer Expanse: RUINFrontHall (8/10) 2 - Metropolis: templetoll (7/10) 3 - Challenge #01 Survivor (7/10) 4 - Rubicon: R03 (7/10) 5 - Submerged Superstructure: bitterunderground (6/10) 6 - Outskirts: A38 (6/10) 7 - Silent Construct: LSCOREACCESS (5/10) 8 - Sky Islands: A17 (5/10) 9 - Undergrowth: GUTTER03 (3/10) 10 - Suburban Drifts: A41 (3/10)

Extra comment: Yeah, I don't know, this poll is generally pretty weak. I wouldn't exactly call most of these bad per se, but they all either fail to stand out in a meaningful way, or they have some big design flaw, so none of them really end up being exceptionally good.

My favorite - which also coincidentally happens to be on the list - is RUINFrontHall. While I did technically vote for it, I still wouldn't call it 'one of the best rooms in the game' or anything like that (heck, it probably isn't even in the top 10 of Outer Expanse). But from the options, it's the one that functions the best. It has a clear, unique and good idea that was executed decently well, with no caveats or weird choices that would sour the experience of being there. It stands out from other rooms, and there's basically nothing to complain about, so yeah, it's a good room that absolutely deserves a vote.

Another that I'll need to cover is bitterunderground, which is essentially bitterentrance, just more annoying to traverse. I guess I should give it props for not being a 1 to 1 copy, since the former's layout is all messy and disorganized (like the rooms in Garbage Wastes), whereas the latter has more straight and clearly defined lines and shapes (like the rooms in Pipeyard). My preferences towards these design styles tend to vary, but the general pattern that I noticed is that I like the Pipeyard style design in rooms with predators, and I like the GW style design in the more peaceful/platforming oriented ones. This is mainly because uneven terrain makes combat and fast movement trickier to execute, and that becomes very clear when Miros Vultures decide to say "Hi!" while you're traversing bitterunderground. I know I rambled way more about general design stuff, rather than the specific room at hand, just know that I find it inferior compared to a similar alternative you can find nearby (though that doesn't make it horrible, just… not as good overall).

And like usual, I've got two bonus rooms to pair with the two from the poll. In this case, it's very fitting that we covered a Bitter Aerie room, because we're staying on a snowy environment, specifically of A32 from Suburban Drifts!

I'm really thankful that this was added to the list, because it's kind of… weird, in a way. Mainly because putting a Red Lizard here seems like such an bizarre idea, one that honestly sounds horrible and completely nonsensical. Yet, it works. Because it completely recontextualizes the feel and general gameplay of the nearby rooms, but in a surprisingly fair way, because more often than not, that Red Lizard is avoidable. The usual counterplay is "if you hear or god forbid, see it, run away immediately", which is why the creature is always placed into long rooms, so that you have time before it can reach you. Putting one into such a tiny room completely breaks the design fundamentals that go into placing creature spawns… in theory. But because it is specifically on the Saint, it actually ends up working out very well, and for that, I gotta give this an 8/10, because I can respect game design rule breaking done properly (I mean let's be honest, we all do, cus we wouldn't be playing this weird game otherwise xd).

Moving onto a much warmer Saint-specific place, we've got C14 from Rubicon, and I'm sorry to disappoint, but I don't have nearly as many thoughts about this one. It's clearly based on an Industrial Complex room, and while I don't think this is the worst possible choice to put into Rubicon, there were plenty of more fun and interesting alternatives, and B05 is really the only cool Industrial copy room here, and so it really feels like that region got the short end of the stick. It is not bad by any stretch of the imagination, especially cus it's kind of fun to ignore the platforming that you always have to do on the original, and just fly up. But outside of that, there's really nothing to this. It's a 5/10.

Pick Your Favorite Rain World Room, Day 216.1 R2

This is not single elimination! Every room with at least 15.0% vote will move on to the next round.

There is a hidden slugcat in one of the rooms (they can be in any color). If u can see it comment or reblog with where they are and if u are first, u get a cookie!

Credit for game screenshots goes to: Rain World Interactive Map, Rain World Wiki and me

Congratulations for day 215.1 winners!

[sleepdeprivedheretic]

Heart of the Wild (Final)

Notes: Final Chapter! I??? Just wanted to post smut, originally, and so here it is. It’s been a doozy of writing this, but I hope you all enjoy :3

Warnings: Ruts, consensual smut, but like, kinky consensual smut, and possessive behavior

 He couldn’t help himself, really. It was inevitable. Life was basically throwing a cute little rabbit at him, but he could wait until she reciprocated his feelings. For now, he was content in the never ending loop of waking up next to a pillow wall, seeing the smaller hybrid’s arms wrapped around one of them, her face muffled into the downy fluff of white. He was content with washing dishes in the cool stream, talking nonsense as he flicked some droplets at her. Happy of small things, such as she laid peacefully next to him, unafraid and just relaxed as wishful thinking and stories passed her lips.

Yeah, it was really inevitable, for he swore that his heart quickened at her witty remarks, the soft, worried gazes that she gave him, and of course, the sheer feeling of stability and trust was beginning to eat at his heart.

He wasn’t dumb, he could tell the way her heartbeat quickened, tail wiggling excitedly, and the bloom of warmth spread across her face as she stared at him, giving quick little peeks when she thought that he wasn’t looking. He couldn’t help but inquire her some days, stretching lazily as his back muscles were taunt, pants slipping more loosely around his hips as his tail swished with mirth and at the pleasantness of eyes searing into him. Once a while, he’d give a subtle wink, lips curling in a smug grin as she stammered and flushed brilliantly.

 He was hopeless.

…………..

 He had to leave for a couple of days, carrying some blankets, wool, and other goods that Izuku had lent him. It was three months in, and already, you’ve gotten acquainted with Eijirou, Izuku, the shy Tamaki, and Mirio, the ever smiling husky mix who was adamant in following Tamaki around, claiming that they’ve known each other since they were small.

 The boys and you had decided to build a chicken coop, while Taishiro decided to trek the long journey to the village, opting to trade some supplies for some hens and roosters. He promised Izuku and Eijirou that he’d pay off the supplies they’d given him, with chicks and eggs, in the future, as he left the coop building plan to Mirio, the husky being had been around villagers and carpentry, more.

 The coop wasn’t long to build, especially when tools from the village were used. You liked the boy’s company, despite the short amount of time was between the five of you. Izuku and Eijirou were sweetly chattering among themselves, giggling cutely as one surprised the other with a peck on the lips, and of course, Mirio’s tail excitedly wagging as Tamaki listened in on his ramblings, his ears flickering with interest as a small, genuine smile graced his lips.

You ignored your own thoughts, as you hammered a pole into the soft, earthy soil, opting to chatter along when the opportunity rose. It took a day for the pen and coop to be built, and you knew that he would arrive home sometime tomorrow. Home. Right now, it was dusk, you were laying in the shared bed, feeling a sense of loneliness without the usual comforting aurora or scent of Tai. It was scarily amazing on how fast that you’ve missed him, already, and him being gone, made you feel a tug of needing him to be there.  

 As you were about to drift off to sleep, a soft clucking jolted you awake from the other side of the door. Realizing that it was Tai coming home early with the fowls, relief pooled within your stomach as you imagined his scent, yet, oddly enough, the one wafting towards you, was slightly different. It was his scent, yes, but-

The door flew open, cutting you off from your thoughts as a brown package was thrown your way. Opening your mouth to speak, you stilled. His ears were pinned back, pupils widened, fluffed tail swishing wildly, as the obvious smell of pure ‘rut’ filtered through the room. Staring at you with hunger, he let out a frustrated growl, as he slammed the door, running off to who knows where.

His pheromones preened yours, and you knew that you couldn’t let him suffer like this, nor ignore your feelings, anymore. Ruts could be more feral than a heat, since they happen once a year, heats being two. It didn’t help matters that he was probably pent up from smelling yours, and detaining himself several strong instinctive urges.

You ran after him, blinded into the night, following the more sharp scent of the earthy tone that was overlaying the pure desperation of the sweeter one. He was hurting, you knew, and his body might be biting back at him with full vengeance from the neglect of finding a bond mate. The moonlight, had shone brighter than the sun, letting more light filter through the snowy, yet grassy woodland as you followed his scent, carefully avoiding fallen branches and twigs as you made your way towards him.  

“Please s-stay back, Sugar.” You stopped meters away from him, him leaning against a tree, roughly palming the large bulge within his pants as he left soft short growling huffs. Your inner omega couldn’t help but whine, begging you to submit, and for once, you wanted to be on the same page. He was more coherent, for his rut had freshly hit him, yet, he was on a thin line, waiting for one of you two to breach it or run.

“Do you love me?” You couldn’t help but ask, and he stilled, eyes darting to focus on yours. Despite the wild crawl within, amber pools had softened, as he let out something akin to a mewl, gripping the tree harshly.

“F-fuck, yeah. I do love you, seems forever, now, and I don’t wanna- hurt ya.” He broke out the sentence in pauses. You let your own soothing pheromones wash over his, calming the wild look in his eyes from a distance as you bit your bottom lip. His breathing slowed, staring at you with a curious manner, as if silently asking you why you weren’t walking slowly away.

“I love you, too. After first meeting you, it seems as if I always had.” You admitted, feeling the weight fall off of your chest, as heat enveloped your cheeks and chest. As if a switch, the sweet scent of his seemed to overlap the earthy tone as he shyly covered his face with the back of his hand.

“Ya…ya have a penchant for timing, don’tcha?” He murmured. “Couldn’t jus’ told me earlier, when I’m more calm.” He huffed as he stared, watching you intently through blonde lashes.

“You’re in pain.” Was all you simply said, and he groaned, knowing that you were right.  

“Ya want this?” There was no sense in beating around the bush, you knew. He breathed in your scent with greed, panting as his pupils were now slanted within the moonlight, giving him a more feral, hungry glow.

“Yes.” You didn’t hesitate.

“Run.” He then whispered, and you didn’t have to say anything, knowing the ancient customs of a chase. It didn’t take long for you to bolt, him heavy at your heels. This is a chase that the two of you had wanted, the one that you’ve always dreamed of when dealing with all of your previous heats alone. You knew that he was stalling time on purpose, taking time to mark the trees with the scent glands within his wrists, warning everything and everybody that he was in a serious rut, and not to be trifled with during this time.

 You knew where you wanted to go. Leaping over bushes, running your own glands against anything and everything, and dodging and weaving between trees, you’ve made your way past the slow-moving moonlit stream, across the beaten path, and straight towards the door of his hut, shoving it open as you all but fell onto the bed. Not a second too late, the door had slammed shut, and he was on top of you, pinning your chest flush against the downy pillows and soft furs.

His chest was laying heavy and warm against your still clothed back, him breathing hotly into your twitching ear as you felt his length through his pants, lay fat up against your bare thighs that the tunic wasn’t long enough to cover.  

“Ya’re really wantin’ this?” His voice drew into a rumbled growl, and you nodded. His rut was singing for to you to submit, as you felt yourself secrete more slick onto your tunic, feeling the ache of emptiness clench desperately at nothing. You’ve never felt this way outside of your own heats, before, and you were almost ashamed to acknowledge that you were desperate. Accepting your consent, he all but ripped off your tunic, you squeaking in surprise as the cool air hit your sensitive breasts, the furs rubbing against your most sensitive areas.  

“Nice view there, Darlin’.” He rumbled, admiring your flushed back, ears downward, and chest flat against the bed that the two of you had shared. Wasting no time, he buried his face into the back of the crook of your neck, inhaling the area where your scent was the strongest. You let out a surprise squeak as he wrapped his arms around you, thumbing your areolas and buds, as he lightly nibbled at your scent gland, rumbling out a mantra of pleased purrs and growls.

“Been wantin’ this fer a while. Look at ya, bet ya’re soaked down there.” He let out a teasing breath at your ear, nibbling the appendage, giving it a light suck, and chuckled at your mewled squeak. Your breath had caught in your throat, feeling chilled as he broke away for a small second, his trousers being thrown into the pile of dirty blankets, and he resumed his position. Inches above your form, he didn’t crush you whilst he gave you bouts of affection, smoothing down your ears, chuckling as he cupped your wiggling tail, drinking in your pleased sounds as he left butterfly kisses along your back, opting to bite and suck certain parts of your skin.

“T-Tai-! Please!” You couldn’t help but hiccup at the sudden burst of attention and affection, feeling your limbs and heart seem to melt. He chuckled, rubbing your sensitive tail and brushing a stray hair away from your face. Leaning in to your face, he kissed your cheek gingerly, the guttural rumbling of his purring enveloped your entire being as he sighed with content.

“What is it that ya want, Sugar?” He kissed your cheek.

“Sweet-pea?” A peck on the side of your forehead.

“Darlin’?” A soft hum against the column of the back of your throat. You knew that you weren’t in heat, but the newly found attention, made your heart flutter wildly and skin feeling hot, as he clasped your fingers between his.

“I want to see you.” You admitted, and he purred, excitedly.

“Alright, Honey. Be warned, my…uh, thing, might be a lil’ different than other breeds.” He sat up, letting you sit up with him. Shyly biting your bottom lip, you realized that his fingers were still intertwined with yours.

“I wouldn’t know. I-” You blurted out honestly, blushing furiously at your forwardness, but he only hummed, bringing a hand to lift your chin up to meet his endearing gaze.

“Ya’re the dumbass who wanted to be chased by an almost feral adult in his rut.” He chuckled at your pout, but then leaned in.

“I love ya, anyways.” He broke the distance, surprising you with a wet, slow kiss as he guided you to lay down on your back. You hummed, squeezing your eyes shut as he spread your thighs apart, trusting him as he deepened the physical contact. You let out another squeak of surprise as he wrangled with your tongue, sucking slightly on it, eating up your noises as he let out victorious purrs that rumbled into your throat. Smoothing a rough hand down your leg, he palmed your stomach, thumbing your belly button, as if teasing you on what was yet to come, as your own curious fingers explored him. Rough muscles, soft fat, downy hair, and twitching, fuzzy ears met your exploring hands as you mentally savored each touch.

Breaking away from the kiss, the two of you were flushed, sweaty, and panting for air as you opened your eyes, staring at one another while drinking the other in.

“I love you, too.” You said honestly, not breaking eye contact. He purred, kissing you again, then he winced.

“Ugh, rut’s gettin’ a lil’ too hard to handle, right now, Chickadee. Ya sure? My…baser instinct might not treat ya as sweetly as I want too.”

   “It’s alright, I trust you.” You admitted truthfully. He sighed, brushing your hair out of your face, cupping your jaw gently.

“I’m gonna fuck ya roughly, breed ya, and say things that I might not even be wary of. To be honest, ya might even become pregnant after the whole spiel. There’s no way in hell that I’m gonna pressure ya if ya don’t want this. Tell me no, and I’ll leave, but’ll be back when the rut’s over.” He admitted, cheeks flushed and eyes hungry at the whole prospect, yet, he awaited your decision. If you were being honest, the prospect didn’t sound bad at all.

Cupping his hand, you kissed lightly on the inside of his wrist, causing a surprise purr.

“Are you going to claim me?”

“Yes.” He didn’t hesitate, and you nodded.

“Then it’s alright.”

“Positive?”

“Absolutely.” You confirmed, and then he pounced.

You let out a surprised mewl mixed in with a squeak as he sucked harshly at the scent gland in your neck, a definite promise for what was about to happen, before he nipped at your bottom lip, licking a stripe against it, before kissing you deeply, again. Hot, it was a little more hot than the earlier one. Yes, your mouth had burned slightly from the rush heat, but right now, melting would be an understatement.

He broke away, pulling you up to take a good look at him. It was lengthy, thick, and heavily dripping clear fluid in which you were curious about, as well as covered in odd hooks. You gave him a heated, yet questioning look, and he gripped your hand.

“They’re soft, they won’t hurt. Feel’em.” He gestured towards the fleshy barbs, and you did as he asked.

  He let out a groan, head thrown back as your inquisitive fingers rubbed at the small barbs of soft flesh, to the angry, red crown of his dick. Your eyes widened with surprise at the vulnerability of his state, him licking his bottom lip, hissing as he bucked within your touch. One of his hands gripped your hand which was holding him.

“Up and down, Sugar. Don’t forget to rub the hea-oooh, that’s right, feel free to grab a lil’ roughly.” He groaned in a rough, yet desperate tone of voice as he guided you. It felt hot and heavy within your hand, yet soft to the touch, the little barbs not hurting as he had promised, the clear liquid of his opening, smeared onto your hand as you absentmindedly licked your lip. He let out a needy little growl, placing both hands on the sheets, clenching them rather roughly.

“Ya don’t hafta do anythin’ that ya don’t wanna do, but I’m tellin’ ya, my patience with this rut is wearin’ thin, Darlin’. I wouldn’t do it, if I were ya.” He tried to say calmly, yet his voice shook slightly at the prospect. His amber irises stared at you, pupils blown wide and almost nearing feral, and you understood that he wasn’t in the best situation of control, right now.  

 Hesitantly, you let go of your grip, and he sighed, yet his focus was pinned onto your curious look as you looked your wet fingers. He let out a groan mixed into a whimper when you popped one into your mouth, tasting what was oozing out of him, and he snapped.

 You gave out a startled yelp, as he swiftly apprehended you, positioning you in the classic presentation of an omega; your face was buried into the pillows, as you sat on your knees, back curved for easy access in mounting. You whimpered, the chill air hitting your bare thighs and center as he chuckled, widened your legs and propping your mid-drift up.

“Ya’re wet.” He let out a darker purr, thumbing your folds apart as you bit the pillow. You awaited anxiously, curious on what was about to happen next. It didn’t take him long to deliver, you squeaking in utter surprise as a hot, wet tongue began licking at your center and clit.

“T-Taishiro!” You let out a squeak, gripping the pillows more harshly as he hummed, eagerly licking up your sopping fluids in a hurried frenzy. You had to bite the back of your hand in surprise, as his tongue prodded at the tight muscle of your clenching opening, his palm sliding up your thigh, as his other hand gripped your wiggling tail. You couldn’t help but let out a mantra of whimpers and squeaks, him chuckling now and then, breaking away to kiss the back of your thigh.

“’M gonna open ya up, Sweetheart. Get ya ready.” He purred into your center, and you nodded. He had an extreme amount of patience, you couldn’t help but think through fogged thoughts. Three fingers had breached into your opening, and you couldn’t help but feel relief of something finally entering you.

“Takin’ em so eagerly, huh? So slutty.” He chuckled darkly at your clench of surprise of his sudden change of behavior.

“I’m not a-Mm!” You couldn’t finish the sentence as he crooked them, pumping them slowly within you as he stretched you.

“I know, but remember what I said, earlier?” He taunted, and you nodded. Pleased with your nod, he slipped his fingers out, bringing them to his mouth to suck on them. You watched as you looked behind you, him moaning with the flavor of you as his irises looked dark and intimidating.

“Now, you’re mine.” His eyes flashed, as he pressed a palm against your back, your face was back into the pillows as he wasted no time. Your tail wiggled eagerly as the head prodded your loose and wet entrance, catching the rim of your muscle and you whined. Taking your own initiative, you thumbed your clit, rubbing the juices against it, made you feel more relaxed as he struggled to sheath himself inside.

“S-so fuckin’ tight! Guess I gotta stuff ya, by the looks of it.” He growled dangerously, and you let out a desperate whine, feeling him stretch you. Although the stretch was a little painful, it was more of a delicious friction, especially with the soft barbs stirring your walls, and the curved fat crown of his head spearing you.

Finally, he stilled, huffing as you keened.

“Are ya alright, Darlin’?” He asked softly, palming your back smoothly as he maneuvered himself to cover your back with his chest, once again, keeping himself from crushing you as he leaned down to kiss the corner of your mouth.

“I’m alright, Tai. Feels good.” You added, and he hummed, bucking his hips a little, enjoying your whimpered moan.

“Good, ‘m glad. Ya know what these barbs are for?” He then asked, purring against your cheek, ears flickering as you shook your head.

“To keep seed within the womb. Would ya like that?” He let out a darker purr, his hips moving on their own accord, and you cried, biting the back of your hand as the curved head prodded at something deeper within you.

“Y-yes!” You answered as he bit the column of the back of the side of your neck, and your brain had stopped working, as apparently his did, too, for his hips snapped desperately, finally chasing his rut.

Your mind went blank as you couldn’t help but pant out whimpers, groans, and whines to his demanding growls, feeling him work himself into you as he bit your neck, gripping your side and breast harshly as the sound of his hips slapping against yours, and the squelching sounds, echoed with the crackling of the fire, making you clench desperately as you laid there and took it.

He loosened his jaw, breaking away his grip as he panted harshly into your ear. Bringing his hand underneath you, he cupped your stomach as he continued his near brutal pace.

“’M gonna fuck you full of cubs and kits, keep ya fat, carryin’ my offspring year round, if I could.” He let out a dangerous growl, and you clenched considerably at the idea.  

 Tears pooled at the corners of your eyes at the prospect, the harsh yet delicious ache in the climb to your edge, had you begging his name in a mantra, and he purred yours in return.

“’M boughta cum, Sweetheart.” Affection oozed into his hoarse voice as he grunted out, giving sharper thrusts, silently demanding for you to cum first.

It didn’t take long for you to comply, mind going blank, as the tight bowstring within you snapped into sharp pieces of relief. Your channel clenched viciously around him as you throbbed around him, causing him to curse and stutter as he fought against the tightened walls of your grip. Within your haze, you felt the sharp needles of his teeth clamp into your neck, feeling him clutch your sides harshly as he stilled, shooting his seed deep within you as he let out a victorious growl into your claiming bite.

Time seemed to still, as the exhaustion and euphoria washed over you, and him still slowly pumping his hips, releasing the excess cum into you as he smoothed over your bite with licks and kisses.

“Ya took me so well, Sweetheart. Darlin’. Love of my life.” He drew himself out gingerly, leaving you oddly empty, but you didn’t contemplate on it for long, for he turned you to face him, opting to douse you in affection with kisses and soft purrs.

“You treated me so well.” You hummed, kissing him in turn, letting your own affections breach him as you smoothed away sweaty locks, cupping his cheek. He leaned in your touch with contentment.

“Next round, we’ll take it slower. I wanna bite of my own, too.”

….………….. (just bonus stuff)

  It didn’t take you long to find out. When the news hit, he was ecstatic, eagerly chirping the news to the boys, immediately wasting no time in dragging the excited Eijirou, Izuku, Mirio, and a shy Tamaki to help build an extra room for a nursery.

Whenever he could, he found time to nestle his face into your growing stomach, dousing you with his affections, and prowl the forest; his natural instinct of fatherhood had came to play, as he warded off any potential intruders with heavy, threatening smells within his scent glands.

Izuku, being over the moon with excitement, visited you regularly with homemade gifts and excited talk about him being an uncle. Being a rabbit, it took only five moons for your unborn children to mature and be ready for birth. During that time, you’ve bonded more with Tai, nesting and decorating the nursery with him.

When that time had come, Izuku helped you deliver in the dark safety of your shared bed, your proud mate pacing eagerly outside, awaiting to hear the small squeaks and yips of the both of your brood.

It didn’t take you long to hold one cub and one kit gingerly in your arms as your proud, teary-eyed mate held the other kit as he laid next to your weary form. Kissing your forehead, he praised you for your hard work, and how much he loved you.

…………….

Alright, I’m done. The rest is up to your imaginations, haha. I’ve been working on the fic for three days in a row, just about, and I’m quite happy with it :3

[knightlysnowy]

im actually so excited about this year’s art fight!! My first year and I can physically *feel* how much better at art im getting

been feelin like crap lately for no real reason so this?? this has been a great time

[vagrantblvrd]

Trying to remember the title of a book I remember reading back in my Youth about the WW2 spy-dude who was also a werewolf, because why wouldn’t he be, and somewhere in there my brain was like.

YOU KNOW.

That AU that I may or may not be calling An American Werewolf in London in my head because of course werewolf!Ryan, but with Freewood?

Super sekrit spies or Hitmens in which werewolf!Ryan is sent to recruit human!Gavin for his agency because Gavin’s a former Hitmens who left his previous agency Because Reasons

And then super sekrit spy/Hitmens shenanigans all over the place until there’s That Incident in which Gavin is mortally wounded saving Ryan’s life. Maybe suspects the Werewolf Thing but it’s such a fanciful notion and some baddie’s about to murderize Ryan so it’s like, of course he takes a bullet for him or whatever.

(Bonus points if later it’s discovered to be a silver bullet and someone who shouldn’t totally knows Ryan’s secret.)

This whole time the two of them have been flirting like absolute morons and well into idiot pining stage of things.

And Ryan, okay, Ryan.

Gavin bleeding out in his arms - because DRAMA - and he realizes that he could live with Gavin Hating Him Forever for werewolf biting him without his consent, - maybe he’s werewolf bitten someone before or it was the situation between his parents for even more DRAMA and Tragic Backstory - he couldn’t live with Gavin being dead.

Especially if he died trying to save Ryan’s life not knowing his sacrifice was unecessary.

SO.

Gavin gets the Werewolf Bite and after Ryan’s sure he’s going to make it and their backup is on the way goes after the baddie and has that final confrontation thing.

Either fakes his death or whatever (this baddie isn’t the Head Baddie and typical conspiracy nonsense to back that up Because Reasons) or just heads back to the US without stopping to check on Gavin again afterward, whichever.

Ryan takes a leave of absence from the agency he works for to go off and Plot about tracking the head baddie down and whatnot?

Goes to a remote cabin in the mountains or whatever that has Significance because werewolfy stuff and then!

One day is like !!! because there’s antoher werewolf? And then he catches their scent and he’s even more !!! because it’s Gavin.

...I really like the thought of them being in wolf form when this happens so you have the two of them stalking/hunting one another in the snowy woods and rocky terrain and whatnot?

Ryan being Concerned about Gavin’s reason for finding him?

Is it for Vengeance at being turned into a murder puppy without proper consent or...actually, that’s pretty much all he’s thinking because nothing good’s ever come out of biting someone in those circumstances in Ryan’s experience.

Still, he’s impressed as hell at how well Gavin’s taken to being a werewolf?

Like.

Once Ryan realized he was being hunted and by who he stopped trying to hide his tracks? But the longer it went on he couldn’t help himself and upped the difficulty and Gavin more than kept up with him even as Ryan’s using his best, most clever tricks and whatnot.

A little bit longer and he thinks he overdid it, thinks he managed to lose Gavin along the way and is all :( and backtracking to find him, so of course that’s when Gavin pounces.

Massive wolf, lean and agile and laughing at Ryan as they play-wrestle in the snow and such.

Still a little worried Gavin’s here to be all Angry at him even though Gavin hasn’t been aggressive, and anyway, anyway.

They head back to Ryan’s little cabin and shift back to human form where it’s a bit awkward - Ryan’s a bit awkward - apologizing for biting Gavin the way he did and then basically fleeing the country and so on and just.

Rambling like an idiot while Gavin watches him with this little half-smile, all soft and fond the way he looked at Ryan sometimes back in London with the whole...shenanigans going on.

“Uh, yeah,” Ryan says, running out of things to say. “Sorry?”

Too small, clumsy for what he’s done to Gavin, his life, but thankfully he seems to have adapted well enough to the whole werewolf thing and maybe Ryan didn’t fuck things up too badly -

And Gavin is like, *SIGH*

Because, look.

Strongly suspected something was up with Ryan soon after meeting him, but again, werewolf-ness being a bit of a stretch, and anyway, anyway.

He’s kind of fond of the idiot.

A lot.

And also the bit where Ryan’s boss - Geoff seems so nice, you know? - extending a job offer to Gavin who naturally accepted.

“Would have done,” Gavin says, bit of a tease to it, “if you’d ever gotten around to it.”

Because the baddie and typical nonsense affiliated to it made that whole recruitment offer seem less of a priority at the time and then the werewolf bite and Ryan running the fuck away.

And while Ryan’s “Huh. Nice to know,” and unsure what to do next, Gavin takes initiative and goes over to Ryan’s little murder board regarding Head Baddie and his plan of attack and is like.

“My first day isn’t for a few weeks yet, think we could find this bastard before then?”

Because of course they have to go after Head Baddie off the clock - personal vendettas or whatever and just. (Head Baddie knows what Ryan is and it’s a Thing and just. Yeah, idk.)

Yes.

Ryan being all ??? and “Uh, sure?” and “Probably?” and then off they go again.

Sharing motel rooms again and doing surveillance on people who can lead them to Head Baddie. Sneaking about as humans and murder puppers and totally pretending to be married at some point Because Reasons.

Also Smooching For Victory or whatever to fool some guards or local law enforcement and being !!! because mutual pining and anyway, anyway.

Yes.

(They get the baddie and Geoff and co. have to come in to save the day and then there are smooches and moonlit runs as murder puppies and happily ever afters. Also GEoff being like “Oh, fuck me,” because now he’s got two werewolves to look after and do those idiots know how fucking unsubtle about that shit they are? JFC.)

[a-fragile-little-teacup]

I Waited Until My 18th Birthday to Watch the First Episode of Game of Thrones... Here are My Thoughts

When Game of Thrones first premiered, I was nine-years-old. The only show I was truly into at the time was Doctor Who. So, when I started to become truly interested in the series this last year, I wanted to do something special. After managing to wandering my way through the internet without seeing spoilers, I decided to watch the very first episode on my 18th birthday (today... January 7th).

This post is going to be a bunch of rambling. I want to jot down my thoughts as I have them. Hopefully, I’ll be able to get time stamps. Enjoy my nonsense. (I seriously am going to sound so dumb)

1:45- I hope all the sets are as pretty as the snowy landscape. That looks like Narnia.

3:30- That’s a lot of dead bodies... and a dead child, damn. They aren’t scared of anything.

4:14- Well... Wildlings. I’ll remember that term.

4:54- This guy seems like a dick.

5:29- I’m sorry.... the dead bodies MOVED?!

6:29- WAS THAT THE WHITE WALKER THING I HEAR ABOUT ALL THE TIME?! 

6:55- The child moved... gross

7:59- What an opening... also, I get why people like the theme song... that’s gorgeous...

9:12- These families and this map will make sense to me soon... right? I don’t wanna ask anymore dumbass questions.

10:20- I just really love Richard Madden, alright?

10:55- I recognize a lot of these faces, which is good.

11:46-ish- I cannot remember the youngest girls name is but she’s already my favorite.

13:00- I knew that was a White Walker!

14:20- The lack of music here is so clever

15:44- Is Ned Stark always this quiet?

17:55- I’ve gotten one house symbol down.

18:40- Richard Madden holding little pups... the perfect birthday present

19:28- Ooo... the famous throne.

25:41- I remember the little blonde dude. I think his death is the only spoiler I’ve ever seen.

28:31- Arya... Arya is my favorite so far

31:07- There’s the sex thing that I have heard so much about.

34:03- At least they’re clearing up the names and places

38:01- I forgot that Jason Momoa was in this show! 

41:01- Sansa... I’ve been watching for 40 minutes and I can already tell that you definitely would not want your dad to say yes.

47:05- I don’t why this guy stands so close to the people he talks to but he looks like Prince Charming from Shrek

49:23- I care more for Jon Arryn than any of the Lannisters so far

53:29- THIS MAN BROUGHT BOOKS!

54:15- And Magister brought dragon eggs. Fun. That’s foreshadowing.

57:something- Oh. No. I did not like that scene. But it was less graphic than a similar scene in Hemlock Grove... so that’s good.

1:00:12- Incest. I heard about that one but I couldn’t remember which family it was.

1:01:12- Did they deadass just kill that kid?

--------------------------------------------------------

Okay, I get the hype. I’ll probably keep watching. At least for a little bit to see how I feel about it. Thank you if you read this far. Have a good evening! Also, if I spelled something wrong, please tell me.

[coastalhorrors]

I Want To Believe (In Us)

For @oumasaiexchange s Autumn Exchange, written for recipient number 1!!

Prompt: Drama! I like angst with a happy ending. I adore bittersweet content in fanfics. And as art, I like anything with really pastel colors and cute things.

Word count: 4,924

Summary: Shuichi Saihara wasn't too keen on summoning the undead this late at night, especially when the temperature outside his beaten down Subaru Legacy had just gotten down to below freezing. 

-

Shuichi Saihara wasn't too keen on summoning the undead this late at night, especially when the temperature outside his beaten down Subaru Legacy had just gotten down to below freezing. 

The car itself rattled with each labored breath it took attempting to keep its inhabitants warm, and dust had started to pile up on the far reaches of the dashboard, but it was in better shape now than when Shuichi had gotten it. 

He had bought his car earlier that year from one of his Uncle's coworkers and had spent nearly half that amount of time trying to repair it. When he had gotten the car its seats were worn and stained with who knows what, and both the tail lights were out. There were also multiple dents on the trunk and on its sides, and upon seeing it Shuichi had realized why he had gotten the car so cheap. He had managed to fix the taillights and sanitize the inside, but from various investigations and some dubious late-night research, he figured those dents were just there to stay. 

He sighed as another sneeze sounded out from beside him and more dust scattered itself around them. 

"You're going to catch some sort of disease if you keep digging through the library's collection of occult tomes," Shuichi said, laying his headache-ridden skull back on the headrest. 'The black plague is back you know, and you're not immune."

He could practically hear the sly smile creeping its way onto Kokichi*s face.

"Aw, is my Shumai worried about me? Oh! Maybe he's just jealous that I'll find evidence of the supernatural before him, the Super High School Level Detective of all people!" He giggled mockingly, a childish lilt to his voice.

"Hardly," Shuichi replied wryly, gazing down drowsily at the dim blue light of the clock. 

11:47 P.M.

Thirteen more minutes.

Then Kokichi would try to summon whatever demonic creature he found this week in one of his many forums, historical books, or maybe even a newspaper, ultimately failing, and Shuichi could drive them back to the dorms so that he could watch more of the X-Files until he fell asleep. 

That had been their routine since about halfway through their first year at Hope's Peak Academy. Shuichi remembered the day when the infamous Kokichi Ouma had come to his dorm room one night, loud, out of rhythm knocking interrupting the peaceful quite Shuichi had become accustomed to throughout his small-time staying there. He had said he needed a ride somewhere and that he wasn't taking his chances with the questionable form of art that was public transportation. 

He also made a point to say that Shuichi was the only classmate he knew with a car, which was utter nonsense if you asked him. Mondo in the class three years above them had a motorcycle and made sure everyone knew it, and Kazuichi from the class above them was a mechanic for Pete's sake. Even Miu and Kaito owned their own trucks and Kirumi had a motorcycle she cherished dearly. 

Shuichi recalled brushing it off, Kokichi did enjoy his lies after all. And he didn’t mind going out that night, especially since he meant to go out anyway and grab some snacks for his study session with Kaito, Maki, and Kaede the next day. Which, coincidentally, he ended up almost missing because of how late he slept in. 

They ended up staying out until about 3:00 A.M. that night. Kokichi had said it was a stakeout for something Shuichi wouldn't understand, which was probably true considering to him it was a complete waste of time since the only memorable thing that happened that night was a particularly loud owl cooing from somewhere in the trees nearby.

And yet Kokichi came back a few days later with another reason to take Shuichi out into a field in the middle of nowhere, where the stars above shone brighter than any street lamp, and the tranquility was omnipotent. 

Shuichi had figured out where he was driving them to a few days in. It was a small field brimming with red and purple wildflowers in the spring and summer, near an old farm where a nice lady lived with her sheep and chickens. She had apparently inherited it from her grandfather who had been missing for years, it had made front-page news about two years ago. 

There was a shuffling from beside him, and when Shuichi looked over Kokichi seemed to be going through some sort of hastily written notes. Then he remembered what Kokichi's handwriting looked like and determined that it was probably actually pretty thorough, just too messy to read at a glance. He didn’t bother trying to read it, and he honestly wasn’t too interested in what it was pertaining, only because he knew even if Kokichi did try to explain it to him without lying through the whole thing he still wouldn’t understand why it was so important. 

The only words he was able to glean from his momentary glance were the title headers that contained such words as 'continued from page two','very dangerous', and 'what to do if…'.  He had no clue what Kokichi was trying to accomplish, or if he'd even succeed, he only knew that this was one of the things he openly took seriously. At least in Shuichi’s eyes, he didn’t know what the rest of his classmates saw. 

He was pulled out of his thoughts when the passenger's side door opened. "Well Shuichi, wish me luck in not getting my head completely obliterated by a demonic entity!" The smaller boy chirped, exiting the vehicle and trekking through the snowy field, occasionally sidestepping a slippery patch of ice hidden in the weeds. Shuichi watched the other boy for a while, followed him with dull golden eyes, how Kokichi gazed up at the stars for an answer to his question, whatever that was, how he scrutinized each star falling upon his gaze, always searching for something, even in the dead of winter. 

And yet Shuichi still couldn't figure the other boy out.

He didn't understand what was so important about this field if there even was anything really important about this field. He figured Kokichi probably wasn't above lying about taking Shuichi out someplace in the middle of nowhere. 

He'd have to keep going on these escapades with him to find out what was so important with this place.

Apparently, there wasn't anything important about the field. And if there had been, then Kokichi had completely blown it off. 

It was late December when Kokichi decided to take a look down in Hope's Peak Academy's basement. Which, granted was better than driving icy roads at the midnight hour, but at least in his car Shuichi had heating. 

The basement was dark and dank, smelling of dust and mold, and Shuichi got the distinct feeling that if he touched one of the walls on accident, he'd catch some sort of wicked disease. Kokichi, naturally, thought it was just right.

"You know Shuichi, this would be the perfect place to summon an unholy monstrosity," Kokichi said, walking beside him, flashlight in hand, round eyes glancing about the large room. "I wouldn't be surprised if there was a dead body hidden somewhere down here either." 

"Kokichi why are we down here? Don't you have anything better to do? Like studying for that physics exam maybe?" Shuichi said, ignoring the other boy’s previous statements, he had long gotten used to Kokichi's ramblings by now. He twisted his flashlight towards his right, coming across nothing but a slate grey wall and empty space. 

Kokichi gave him a wild look, violet eyes and bright white teeth gleaming from his light. "Oh Shuichi my beloved, when will you learn," he tsked. "I never study for those stupid things, we get them like every week, and as long as you pay attention in class, you're good enough." 

"You don't pay attention though," Shuichi said doubtfully, peering at him through his peripherals. "Earlier today you got into an argument with Rantaro in the middle of class." 

Kokichi grinned, "Oh you've got it all wrong! I'm a master at multitasking, a leader such as myself would no doubt be able to know what's going on in class whilst debating with my lab partner about whether or not contacting aliens is unethical!" 

Shuichi rolled his eyes back into his head, he should've expected an answer like that. 

"Ew, what's that creepy look on your face for?" He heard Kokichi say disgustedly. 

Shuichi hummed questioningly in response, somewhat quirking a brow, as his gaze fell back to Kokichi.

"You got an ugly smile on your face, you look like a sadist or something," Kokichi said, pointing his lithe fingers towards Shuichi's face. And to his shock, Shuichi realized he had let a small smirk cross his features. Unconsciously he took a small step back and raised his hands in defense. 

"O-oh it's nothing, I just remembered something funny from earlier," He said, hoping he successfully blew Kokichi's question off. 

He leered at Shuichi for a moment before something caught his eye ahead of them and he jumped forward. 

He sighed in relief, then paused abruptly. Why was he relieved? He had nothing to hide, so why was he so nervous under Kokichi's glare? Why did he feel so guilty all of a sudden? 

He eyed Kokichi, who had gotten a good few meters away by then, as he crouched down to pick at something on the ground. He was like a child, Shuichi thought, a really disturbing child, and he found himself wanting to let another smile crawl onto his face. 

He determined that Kokichi was way too charming for his own good. 

As the sun set on a snowy evening a few weeks after their basement escapade, Kokichi found himself back in the same boat. Not that he'd ever left, bugging Shuichi had been a hobby of his since late October. 

He sighed wearily and rested his head against the desk in his dorm. He had ended up pulling another all-nighter preparing for tonight’s investigation. They would be going down to the basement again, this time looking for a special type of worm Kokichi had heard about in a podcast. The midnight worm, as they were called, were bloodsuckers and could leap up to seven feet, maybe higher, and he wasn’t passing up the chance to possibly find such a rare specimen. 

Shuichi didn’t know that of course. Kokichi made sure he always goes into their little adventures blind. He liked watching the detective piece together the clues he was given, it was fascinating, especially for a runagate like him. The puzzled looks, the tentative movements, it was all just like sweet cream, and Kokichi was the cat lapping it up. 

His favorite was when Kokichi had planned a particularly difficult puzzle and Shuichi got fidgety. He bore witness to nose scrunching, nail-biting, clothes tugging, and the like. It made him extremely pleased to know that he’s stumped his starcrossed rival. 

Shuichi never learned of what those investigations were about, Kokichi never told him. And he could see how crazy it made the detective, not knowing just what he had gotten himself into. Which was the best part, Shuichi wasn’t entitled to come with Kokichi anymore, now that they had moved indoors for the deep winter. He could easily say no and reject coming with, and yet he just kept doing it. 

This also made Kokichi happy to see, as he had piqued the interest of Shuichi so much so that he just couldn’t say no. 

This was Kokichi's most nefarious plot yet. 

He'd keep coming up with these inspections, keep traveling from basement, to field, to the coast to wherever, as long as Shuichi came with him, until… well. He hadn’t figured that part out yet. He only knew that whatever it was going to lead to, it would be amazingly entertaining. 

Kokichi smiled to himself as he gathered up his notes on the midnight worms. He hadn’t had this much fun in a long time.

The corridors were quiet as he made his way down to Shuichi’s room, stark white walls clashing with the dark wood. Finally, he stood in front of the door of his acquaintance. His friend? His colleague. Though that still didn’t seem right as he knocked quickly on the door. A pattern Shuichi had no doubt gotten used to. 

There was a sound like someone had just set something down and some slight curious mumbling from inside when the door swung open. 

"Hello, there Mr. Detective! I’ve finally come to murder you in cold blood!" He lilted, stretching out the 'hello' for effect. 

The boy in front of him didn’t look fazed in the slightest, in fact, he looked almost expectant. 

"There you are, I was starting to worry if I had gotten my timing wrong," Shuichi said, clearly relieved. 

Kokichi grinned, "Aw, were you worried about little old me? Don’t worry, I’m always at your door on Thursday evenings, rain or shine!"

"Its Wednesday."

He shrugged, "Tomato, Tomahto. Ready to get moving? We don’t have all night."

Shuichi gave him a long look before blinking, coming back to his senses. "Yeah definitely, just let me grab my bag quick." He turned around, rummaging behind his door. He returned after a few seconds and gave Kokichi a courteous nod. 

He started forward, not looking back to see if Shuichi was following him, because he always was. 

"So what are we looking for today?" Shuichi asked. His footsteps were even, but Kokichi could feel the expectancy radiating off him. It made his smile return, even brighter this time.

"Oh you know I can’t tell you that, it’d be no fun that way. You are a detective after all." He called, looking over his shoulder. He saw Shuichi blow a small breath out of his mouth. He was glad to know the other boy was still interested. 

That was Kokichi's last thought before they descended the staircase into the basement. 

Shuichi had a problem. Quite a big one in fact. It had kept him up night after night, and the worst thing about was he couldn't even do anything about it. 

He was falling in love with Kokichi Ouma. Except there was something wrong with that sentiment, it being that he really couldn't fully say that he was in love. 

He had seen firsthand how people act when they're in love, he knew the consequences of it.

And Shuichi was terrified. 

He had seen relationships fall apart, sometimes while he studied at his Uncle's detective agency, and other times just out in the world. 

He remembered one time when he was younger and still lived with his parents, his mother had taken him out Christmas shopping. They were almost finished and were about to check out when an older guy, a high schooler he had assumed at the time, started shrieking about his girlfriend breaking his heart. And Shuichi was not too keen on replicating that.

Not that he ever thought he'd go on an angry rampage in a craft store decorated to the brim with wreaths and poinsettias, he liked to think he had much more self-control than that. 

No, Shuichi knew he couldn't deal with the aftermath of heartbreak, especially his very first one. It was common knowledge that high school relationships rarely ever last, and if they did, they developed into cruel, twisted and spiteful ones after a good while. And just thinking about the thought that he may never recover from a heartbreak that bad kept him up at night. 

Even more so now that there was a person he liked. Not loved. Definitely, totally not loved, he was way too young for that. 

But the way that Kokichi always had a puzzle for him, always made sure to keep some sense of mystery going, absolutely captivated him, and he was met with the mental image of a certain infamous mastermind playing a game of cat and mouse with a familiar detective. 

And his heart ached every time Kokichi brought him out somewhere now, as he watched violet eyes sparkle with delight at stumping him. He noticed that when the other boy was particularly excited for something, he'd twirl his hair around his finger ever so often. Which made his heart swell with something, all because Kokichi actually cared. He had spent numerous days, weeks even, of his life researching things for Shuichi to help him 'discover', and the thought that someone was there for him, and thought about him so often drove him insane. 

But high school relationships never last. It's not love. It's just some silly game they played. Nothing more. This was never going to go anywhere, so why even bother right? There'd be someone else when he was older, more mature. 

Shuichi was not going to ask Kokichi out, no matter how much he wanted to. Because as long as he kept reminding himself of that one simple fact that has so far been proven true and just, it would all be okay in the end. 

At least he hoped so anyway. 

Kokichi was suffering. 

Valentine’s day was just around the corner, and he was choking on hearts of red and pink, all because he went and started liking some stupid detective. A very handsome stupid detective. A handsome, and capable, but nevertheless foolish detective. 

He had done everything in his power to make Shuichi see him in that way, but it still hasn't worked, and he was starting to get frustrated. 

Kokichi had created case after case, researched day and night for something, anything to get Shuichi interested in him. And to a degree, it had worked. Now, they were what most people would safely call 'friends'. And that was well and good, but just friends, the thought of nothing more ever happening between them, made his stomach fall through the floor all the way to some sort of afterlife. 

But he couldn't stop trying. There was no harm in trying, only progress. At least that's what Rantaro and Miu would tell him when he lamented to them about his failing love life. That, and some other, less motivational words.

There was nothing left to do except suck it up, do some more exploration into things that might pique the other’s interest even more so than he had already accomplished, and continue with his plan. 

Kokichi was either doomed to fail or gain a mediocre at best win. 

Shuichi couldn't do this anymore. It was time to throw in the towel.

He couldn't take the late nights with Kokichi, the unnoticed glances he threw the other boy. The teasing was unbearable as well, he found it impossible not to be flustered around the other boy, and Kokichi would always respond with some snarky comment like, for example, accusing Shuichi of having a crush on him. 

Which really wasn't very nice at all, specifically because of the way Kokichi would stare at him when he asked the question. Like he was actually expecting some sort of answer. 

It made Shuichi's gut turn. Because really what was he supposed to say? 'Actually, you know what, I do like you Kokichi, a lot.' What kind of sadistic person would do that to themselves? People with a crush on a short, immature, liar that's who.  

No.

No, he was done with it. He had to end it now or else it would never happen. 

Shuichi had planned it all in his head. Each step in a specific fashion, planned carefully so that he'd have the best results. Which really would just be Kokichi not calling him out on the spot. 

Yet as he walked down the hall towards Kokichi's room, he felt his legs moving at an unearthly slow pace. He had to convince himself multiple times that it would be okay, that he could do this, and he wouldn't disintegrate while in the middle of speaking.

Because it was either this or more useless pining after a foolish dream.

As he arrived at the door, Shuichi realized he was shaking the tiniest bit and had to will himself to raise his hand towards the door. His fist clenched so hard, he wouldn't be surprised if he drew blood soon. Then the door swung open, and Kokichi Ouma stood in front of him, eyes wide and brows raised. 

"Oh hey Shuichi," he chirped pleasantly. "Are you stalking me now? Because you know, standing outside someone’s door is kinda creepy."

Shuichi felt his face heat up as he stumbled back a step. No doubt his face was as red as the wildflowers just starting to grow in the gardens outside. 

He quickly realized his fist was still raised and shot it down beside him. 

"Well, no actually, um, I have-" he started but was interrupted by the boy in front of him. 

"Whatever, anyways Shuichi we're going out tonight!" Kokichi exclaimed happily, grinning from ear to ear. Except something seemed off.

Something he couldn’t quite pinpoint.

"O-out?"

"Yup! Remember that old field we went to a few months back? The one by the spooky old murder barn? We're going back there tonight!"

Shuichi did remember that field. And that barn in fact, though he didn’t recall any homicides occurring near it. "You mean you’re going to make me drive you out there again?" Shuichi asked, knowing the answer already as Kokichi nodded his head casually. "Look, Kokichi, I would really love to drive you there but-"

"Great! It's a date then! I'll see you tonight Shuichi!" He said, leaning forward and dragging out Shuichi’s name in a way that made his heart leap.

And just like that, there was a door back in his face as Kokichi closed it on him.

He stood there for a few moments, unsure of what to do next. His choice of words and use of 'date' made his voice catch in his throat, but ultimately he decided it was just a coincidence. 

He decided to go along with Kokichi that night, and he’d tell him there that they couldn’t continue these late-night shenanigans. 

Tonight would be the last time. 

The air was cool with an early spring breeze when they arrived at the grassy meadow. It was nearly dark when the two left the dorms, so Kokichi had made sure to pack some flashlights. He laid down a small linen blanket he'd also made sure to bring over the fresh grass, they were going to be here a while he figured, so why not be comfortable? 

Shuichi stood awkwardly at the edge of the blanket, eyeing Kokichi wearily as he relaxed down onto it. "What’s that look for Shuichi?" He asked in a way that hopefully resembled his usual tone and hid the nervousness he was feeling. "If I was less humble I'd say you look a bit flustered."

He swore he saw Shuichi’s face turn pinker than usual, but he blamed it on the lack of light. Kokichi did, however, watch as the detective shifted his weight, clearly on the fence about something, before settling onto the blanket next to him. 

Kokichi looked up into the night, staring into the vastness of the universe. They had traveled far enough from the cramped urban cityscape to be able to see a majority of the stars that covered the sky like a curtain. It was one of the reasons he enjoyed coming out here so much. That and watching for otherworldly spaceships. 

Though that’s not why he brought Shuichi out here, at least not this time. Kokichi was going to confess. He was tired of waiting and of feeling his heart sink into what seemed like a black hole of hopeless aching. He didn’t care if he got rejected anymore, he just wanted it out. 

He took a deep breath and shoved his anxiousness into the corner of his mind. "You know why I brought you out here, right Shuichi?"

Shuichi turned to him, the hands on his chest fidgeting in habit, and an eyebrow quirked in intrigue. "If I was to give a wild guess, I'd assume you took me out here to look for extraterrestrials again?"

Kokichi smiled, he had figured that one out months ago, back when freezing snow still coated the ground in layers.

He was about to speak when Shuichi interrupted him. "Do you really believe in all that stuff? The aliens, the shapeshifting wolves, all the things you brought me with you to find?"

He turned to the other boy, eyes wide in shock, he hadn’t planned for a question like that, especially having been already busy with his own agenda. 

"I…Want to believe in them." Kokichi responded, surprising himself with such an honest answer. "It's more fun that way. There are so many boring things in the world. Stuff like that… Like spaceships and vampires and teeny leprechauns, it all just makes life so much more interesting you know? Just like…"

He paused, clamping his eyes shut tight in preparation for what he was about to say. It was now or never.

"Shuichi, you’re really smart you know?" Kokichi began, sitting up from the blanket, "like crazy smart, and so tolerant of everyone, even if they start wearing your patience thin. I could never do that. I think it's really admirable of you."

He felt Shuichi shift beside him and nearly combusted on the spot when he spoke. "Are you alright Kokichi? You’re not acting like yourself, do you want water? Or do we need to get back to the dorms?"

He winced, opening his eyes back up but looking to the left to avoid the others' intense gaze. "That too. You’re so kind. Too kind if you ask me, especially towards people like me who don’t deserve it."

"Kokichi-, "Shuichi started, but he had to keep going, or else he would never get it out. 

"Listen, I know it doesn’t make sense, and I know you’re going to hate me afterward but…" He sucked in a breath, "But I like you Shuichi. Like, I really like you. And I know you don’t like me that way, or else I would have known by now, but I physically can’t keep it in anymore Shuichi, if I did, I'd probably die on the spot. That’s… That’s why I brought you here…" Kokichi said the last words slowly, absorbing in sections what he'd just said. 

Now Shuichi would scream at him and tell him he’s worthless and foolish for somehow falling for him, and Kokichi would be able to go on with his life and finally get over this. He could deal with the hateful stares and glances in the hallways, as long as the truth was out.

He flinched slightly when he felt a warm hand wrap itself around his arm. "Look at me Kokichi," he heard Shuichi say in a soft voice that made Kokichis heart yearn. "Please?" 

Slowly, he turned back towards Shuichi. His face shone dimly in the moonlight, but still, his golden eyes stared through him fiercely, picking every bit of him apart. He didn’t seem angry, however, but he still couldn’t figure out exactly what Shuichi was feeling. 

Then, in a nearly inaudible voice said, "I like you too, Kokichi."

It took him a moment to figure out just what Shuichi had meant, but when he did, his heart jumped into his throat. 

"What?" He managed to choke out between nervous breaths. Shuichi really couldn’t be serious.

"I said-" he paused, seemingly trying to gather his words. "I said that I really like you too. I was just… Scared, I guess." He quieted again after that.

He was serious.

Kokichi made a small 'O' with his mouth and looked down at the blanket. Shuichi’s hand was still clasped around his arm. He could definitely guess what he was afraid of. Rejection, heartbreak, falling out of love. The like. 

"Well," Kokichi started. "We can always deal with that later, down the line when we get to it." He said, looking back up at Shuichi when something caught his eye. 

He gasped, "Look Shuichi, a shooting star!" Kokichi said, a childish tone returning to his voice. 

"That’s a plane, not a shooting star," Shuichi stated after looking up, clearly still a bit apprehensive from their conversation. 

"That doesn’t mean you can’t wish on it though." He said in a sing-song voice, he was tired of their serious discussion. Kokichi saw Shuichi glance back up at the plane. It was small compared to the open sky. He smiled. 

Kokichi stood then, brushing off Shuichi’s hand and stretching his arms and legs when he caught the look Shuichi gave him. 

"What are you doing?"

"I think, dear Shuichi, that we deserve a treat. Ice cream sounds good right now. And maybe some fries." Kokichi responded. Truthfully told, he had forgotten to eat all day due to his restlessness. 

Shuichi smiled up at him, and Kokichi saw him take a breath.  Yeah, that sounds nice. We should get going before it gets too late and nothing's open though." He stood and cautiously, reached out his hand towards the other boy. 

Kokichi took it. 

They walked back to Shuichi’s old car in comfortable silence. It was new, and it made Kokichi shiver at the thought of it, but it was welcomed. 

Right then Kokichi decided they could deal with their anxieties later. Right now, he just wanted to enjoy Shuichi’s company. 

[elopez7228]

Scenic Route 7/47

Read on AO3 : https://archiveofourown.org/works/18268208/chapters/43229774  

Start over : https://elopez7228.tumblr.com/post/620919089893933056/scenic-route-0147

***

It was the tempting smell of coffee that roused Rey from her slumber.

It took her a second to realize where she was and why there was a dog curled up against her sleeping bag. Stretching her neck and shoulders, she unraveled her hair and looked up at Leia. She had placed two steaming mugs of coffee on the tiny kitchen table.

“Mind if I take a quick shower before I leave?I don’t know when I’ll get another chance on the road...”

With Leia’s approval she found herself in the minuscule bathroom, where she washed her hair as economically as possible. Not a drop of water wasted—after all, she wouldn’t want to freeload off of a kind woman evidently already on a budget.

Afterwards, she checked to make sure that she left nothing behind (oil? Check. Water? Check. Music? Check. Phone? Charged up and ready to go. BB8? BB8...? Rey looked over to see her taking care of business in a nearby alley. She ran back  soon enough with her tail wagging happily. Leia paused to hug the dog one last time and Rey could have sworn her eyes were glistening. Rey waited for them a few meters away, standing by the doorway as she gave them time to say goodbye. After plenty of hugs and scratches, Leia put a slim red leather collar around the dog’s neck. Attached to it with tiny hooks, a small metal plaque engraved with the words “Please Call Luke Skywalker 909-667-5721”.

She then handed Rey a piece of paper with Luke’s address in San Francisco. She had also written his phone number, even though the collar ostensibly took care of that. Rey entered the number into her contacts anyway and put the paper away in the glove box.

Rey opened the car door and gently ushered the dog into the back seat.

“BB8, in the car! Come on, in! Inside, let’s go! That’s right, good dog!”

BB8 had jumped into the car with puppy-like enthusiasm, rediscovering her blanket and her basket of toys. Rey gave her a pat to assure her that everything was fine before closing the door. It was time to leave.

Rey approached Leia, who was wiping away a tear with the back of her hand.

“You sure you’ll be okay without BB8?”

“I’ll still have Artoo, even if he doesn’t do much besides eat and nap. We’ll be fine,”

Rey realized she was taking about the cat. She conceded, smiling.

“Look, thanks for everything Leia...the road is a lot less frightening with BB8 by my side. I promise to take care of her,”

“Be careful out there. Send me an update now and then.”

“I will, promise.”

Leia opened her arms and Rey hugged her tightly—it was a little awkward at first but it transformed into a warm embrace. Rey felt a particular tenderness in this gesture, it was the hug of someone who hadn’t hugged anyone in a very long time.

Rey looked up suddenly, breaking the hug.

“I’m an idiot, I forgot to buy a GPS!” She exclaimed, realizing she didn’t know which direction she would be driving in.

She put her hands on her face in exasperation, chastising herself for being so distracted and trying not to let the panic take over.

“Right, no use in beating myself up, I didn’t have enough money left to buy a new one anyway. I’ll have to find a state map. It’ll be all vintage, like the car.”

Luckily, she didn’t have an exact itinerary. She knew that she wanted to get to Yellowstone, which would take a while. The park wasn’t merely a stop, it was as large as Yorkshire and equally difficult to miss.

She looked up a petrol station on Google maps, ironically so that she could buy a physical map for her journey. She turned the key in the ignition and the engine rumbled to a start.

Rey waved one last time to Leia through the open car window, who looked lonelier than ever standing alone out on the porch of her little cottage.

The car emitted a cloud of dust as it left the trailer park and started a long journey. BB8 scratched at the back seat nervously, worried that Leia had disappeared from view. Rey extended a hand to pet her reassuringly.

“Everything will be fine good girl, we’re going home now,” she said gently.

The weather was gorgeous that third-of-July morning, as Rey took I-25 toward Cheyenne, Wyoming. With the breeze in her hair and a smile on her lips, her whole being felt lighter. It seemed like she was looking at the world through new eyes, reveling in an optimism that she hadn’t felt in weeks.

She basked in the beauty of the land, the winding plains dotted with crimson outcroppings, the glistening skyscrapers which formed the city’s spine and slowly gave way to the mountains in the west, whose snowy peaks overlooked a red and white prairie speckled with farms.

As she bypassed the city, she spotted the a few buffalo roaming peacefully on a nature reserve. She also saw camels, two deer on a ridge, and what appeared to be antelopes (or whatever those pale deer like creatures with tiny horns were called).  

A biker on a Harley Davidson sped past her, hair flying and engine roaring in equal measure. In the distance, a freight train of unimaginable length whistled by. Everything was new to her, every sound, every color. She was glad to leave Denver behind. She was tired of the crowd, and the fumes, the noise and the pollution.

BB8 was still lamenting her fate in the back seat, whining now and then. Rey felt her heart constrict. How could she get across that they were going home to see Luke? Preoccupied with these thoughts, she completely missed the exit to Wyoming, which was supposed to be the second leg of their road trip.

In hindsight she would look back on this moment and regret not registering the symbolism of it all.

Around 9 AM she skirted Cheyenne and began the 400 kilometer trek, due west, to the park. It slowly dawned on Rey that she was finally alone with her thoughts—something which hadn’t happened since she left London, since the breakup.

Before, she had purposefully kept busy in order to stop thinking. All action, all the time, running full speed ahead. First she had cursed Finn to hell and back, then she had cried a river on Jessica’s shoulder, taken that flight, wallowed in that hotel room, confronted Ben Solo, met Rose, attended that concert, wandered those museums...it was time to slow down.

Facing eight hours of transit, alone amidst the steel and asphalt with no one but a dog (who was finally calm) for company, Rey let her thoughts run free.

She did not try to repress them, she did not try to smother them.  She was no longer afraid of her unconscious, no longer afraid of regrets, remorse and tears. She would have to bring Finn's stuff back: his clothes, his records, his films and his books.

She did not seen Poe coming, waltzing into her life narrative. Or did she? Had she always seen this coming? Finn and Poe met in high school. They had been on the same football team. They had essentially been friends for forever. When Rey entered Finn’s life, it had been through a hypocritical turn to dating apps. They had bonded over a mutual love for Terry Pratchett novels and Poe had even become her older brother of sorts. Poe had no bitterness, no animosity toward her, there was just a unique brotherhood between the two men that seemed to make Finn happy. Should she have seen it coming, then? In his eyes? In his nonsensical rambles whenever he got drunk? And how could she have ignored the signs all these years, of the feelings Poe had harbored for the man who had been part of his life for so long?

She had finished her degree in graphic design, and right after getting her diploma, she had moved out of Jessica’s to start living with her brand new boyfriend. He was an engineer who was three years older than her and already making a living.

Rey considered that she had never been alone. Before moving in with her ex-future-husband she had lived with Jessica  for most of her adult life. What was she afraid of? Being abandoned again? Getting bored? Wasting away? Was she always going to live in the shadow of others? Didn’t she have any ambitions or goals for herself?

This trip was a first, after all. The first time she did anything alone, the first time no one took her hand, the first time she was ever truly free. Still on the highway, her eyes widened at a passing sign: “Smallest town in America, Bufford, WY. Population : 1". Behind it, a little shack, boarded up with wooden planks and metal sheets.

Beyond, rolling plains, dry and arid masses tinted with yellow and ochre, and not a single tree. On the highway drove an endless parade of monstrous chrome-plated trucks, cars hauling camping trailers, and bikers wearing bandannas instead of helmets. And all the fauna of this strange landscape seemed to ignore the ever-present six-by-four posters lining the highway. Not the one touting MacRoy and associates Laramie attorneys, nor the other claiming “God exists, call 1-800-FOR-TRUTH”.

BB8’s groaning derailed Rey’s bitter train of thought, and she glanced at the back seat. The dog was rolling around restlessly and yes, Rey thought now was a good time to take a break. It would be too early for lunch but at least BB could stretch her legs. Rey kept an eye out for the next exit, or the next petrol station. She used her turn signal to get off the highway at Elk Mountain, a rural outpost sleeping under the desert dust like a cat lounging in the sun.

It was almost a ghost town. A few rusted pickups, a red-brick general store that could have come straight out of the Buffalo Bill era, and half a dozen wooden shacks, in true American spirit. They looked like they couldn’t even stand the first winds of a storm. There must be storms here at some point, she thought, in the winter at least.

How did these people live? Effectively two hours away from the nearest civilization, at that? Rey shrugged. She wouldn’t want to question anyone, if there existed anyone here, that is. Rey parked her car (yes, it was hers now, for the time being) on the side of the road. She opened the door for BB8, who was clamoring to escape. But Rey had predicted this, and she blocked the door with her body as she leashed the dog before letting her out.

She would have preferred to let BB8 roam, but she couldn’t risk it. What if BB ran away across the desert to join Leia Skywalker in Denver?  What if she chased after grasshoppers onto the highway, and subsequently fell prey to one of those gleaming trucks on the highway? She would flattened like a pancake.  Both of them had to tame each other in a way, and that would take time.  Meanwhile, Rey filled the dog's bowl with water and let her drink up. She covered up all the supplies in the car to avoid theft and locked the door.

They took a short walk. BB8 began sniffing at everything on the ground, tail bouncing and ears perking, until she paused to relive herself against the tire of an old truck.  Rey looked around, expecting the owner to come up, a rifle in one hand and a cowboy hat in the other, threatening to shoot both of them.

But no, everything was silent, or as silent as it could be amidst the ceaseless chirping of the cicadas.

Eventually, the heat was overwhelming and the arid wind left Rey parched. Time to go back.

Gingerly walking back to the car, Rey hesitated. It had to be fifty degrees Celsius inside, the car was a suffocating metal monstrosity whose only upside was relative speed. She could feel the sweat drops running down her body.

Yet another hour's drive took her to Sainclair, a city huddled around a monstrous refinery, whose black, smoking towers rose to the sky like Isengard in Lord of the Rings.

"The whole bloody city must live in this factory," Rey thought, as she made herself comfortable inside Penny's Diner, a chrome-clad  hole-in-the-wall with a decidedly vintage feel to it.

[tragedybunny]

The Blade’s Edge - A League of Legends Fanfiction - Chapter 13

They had a simple arrangement. She was the weapon to be used on his enemies. Things get more complicated when emotions bleed into what should simple. Now the two of them find themselves on the precipice of something that was entirely unexpected.

He’s already gone when I awake, of course, the sun indicating that it’s already near mid-day. How do I still feel tired? I roll over and stare at the canopy above me, reliving the feeling of him undressing me last night and pulling me into his arms before sleep overtook me. It’s maddening. No, I’ll continue in my resolve to see nothing in it, to not give meaning where there is none. I suppress the memory and pull myself from bed, heading to my room to dress for the day. A note waits for me on my dressing table, written in his measured script, exacting and precise, as would be expected from him. 

“I trust tonight the Guild will be meeting and you will take control of it with little resistance. Once you have that firmly in hand I require a task of you. Augustus Montrose must be eliminated tonight, he’s begun to realize the alliance between his sister and myself. As always, take care of yourself.  - J”

“PS. I was informed that you were almost out of that violet perfume you always wear.”  

  I finally notice the ornate glass bottle to the left of where the note was, full of the aforementioned scent. My reward for being a good little pet. I wonder what Augustus’s death will earn me. That poor little idiot, he tried so desperately to be important and powerful, he’s earned a death sentence instead. I’d almost feel bad for him, but getting in that deep with any faction in Noxian politics is basically asking to be struck down at any moment. 

After I’m dressed I ring for Gwen and she appears in short order, always eager to be of use. “Yes Madame.” She has a sober look to her face, as if she already has sensed why she’s here. 

I sit at the dressing table and examine the wide bruise that has bloomed on the right side of my face.  “I’ll need your kitchen boy to come through, I need to know where Montrose intends to be tonight.” 

In the mirror, I see her expression change to one of smug self-satisfaction. “As it turns out, I took the initiative to inquire after him this morning. He complained that tonight another elaborate dinner party has been planned, even after all the Solstice revels. Montrose is celebrating some new, powerful friends he’s made.”

I stop and turn towards her. “Did he mention a woman at all, unusually pale?” How deep is he in, what are we about to stir up?

She bites her lip and shakes her head. “No, just some of the usual nobility who rankle at the loss of privilege they’ve experienced. He’ll stay in the kitchens after dinner and the other servants have been dismissed. Knock if you see no movement inside.” 

Well, we won’t be taking a piece off the board that she’ll desperately miss. “Perfect, thank you, Gwen, that will be all.” I dismiss her with a gesture and turn my attention to readying myself for the Guild tonight. Augustus will be easy to find when I’m ready for him. 

Weapons sharpened and muscles stretched in case of confrontation, Inara, Lark, and I gather early in the Guild’s headquarters, finding it empty thanks to a generous bribe I supplied via Lark.  The unassuming building sits amidst a group of others housing various government functions. While most of High Command still functions from within the Immortal Bastion itself, bureaucracy has spread like a fungus to the area around it. It’s a reflection of the temple district in that way, both of them evolving over the years with Noxus itself, Old Town pressing up against them both and the Bastion as the nobility grappled for power.  In times past, the Grand General dwelt in the Immortal Bastion, making it the ultimate seat of power. Jericho is different, preferring the control he has over his own family home to the mysteries and hidden spaces where a plot could come to fruition at any time. Of course, he still has unfettered access to it anytime he wishes. The Guild’s place here would shock outsiders who don’t understand it’s place within Noxus. Assassination has never been a method that our government or military has considered off-limits. The position in Intelligence of a Guild Officer enables the government to make use of its services at will, effectively making the it an unofficial branch of High Command. 

I spent countless hours here as a child before our move to Shurima, and many more once we returned. I know all its twists and turns and nooks and crannies as well as that of my own family’s home. I even pass a small alcove I remember as a favorite of mine for spying, shrinking into the shadows as a child to listen to the adults around me. We clear the rambling structure room by room, including any hidden ones and secret passages that I know of, ensuring no one is lying in wait. Next, all secondary exits are secured, leaving only the main door as the way in or out. When I’m satisfied that everything is in place, Inara and I retreat to a side room off the main hall, to await or moment. 

They trickle in through the next couple of hours, Inara and I taking shifts pressed up against the door to listen, some voices we recognize, some are unknown. Someone opens a stored cask of ale, they drink and converse, some begin to openly mourn the fallen. There’s a rising tide among them, confirmed dead members, Marius among them, who is targeting them? For what reason? Suspicions are aimed everywhere, including the Grand General. When the time is right, Lark raps on the wall next our hiding space, three sharp knocks, it’s time. 

We emerge and push through the crowd to the very center, gasps and whispers following in our wake as recognition dawns on them. Time seems slow, this is it, the moment there’s no going back from. Now that I’ve come to it though, I know that every step I’ve taken has lead me here. Perhaps there is such a thing as destiny, and this is mine. Destiny or not, I am no longer General Du Couteau’s shamed daughter, and no longer the Grand General’s pet, I am Commander of the Assasin’s Guild, a force and entity in my own right. 

“Brothers and sisters, your leaders are dead. They were weak and have paid the price for that. I stand before you now to take my rightful place in their stead, as your Commander.” Raucous noise breaks out among them, the three we recruited before this passionately on my side in the debate. 

The din reaches its crescendo and a woman steps to the forefront. “You would deliver us into the hands of the Usurper, to be used as his weapon.” 

I snort, someone was bound to put this forth. “The Grand General is the rightful ruler of Noxus, along with the others of the Trifarix. The Guild will support High Command as it always has, nothing more, nothing less.”

“So says the Grand Whore. Do you believe you can deceive…” She’s cut off by the dagger that flies from my hand and buries in her chest. I’m weary of the same nonsense being spewed over and over again.

No other moves to challenge me, they’re undecided, for the moment. “As I was saying.” Inara covers the fallen in a cloak and moves her discreetly out of the crowd. “Our numbers have dwindled, our coffers are depleted, and those arrogant bastard ‘guilds’ take our potential recruits. Let us rectify this, and find our strength once again. We’ll scour the lessor guilds from Noxus, once and for all, and become the power we were meant to be.” 

Father made a grave error in his leadership, he finally succumbed to the Black Rose. His single-minded pursuit of their objectives took a toll on the Guild. I can see it in their faces, they hunger for a return to glory. The murmuring returns, this time it begins to swing in my favor. She took down Marius, we would have the Grand General’s support, she’s here and Marcus is not. Lark joins in, adding to the momentum, a vote is called for. I take note and the slim few who still dissent, they’ll have to be watched. When it finally ends, I’m officially Guild Commander Katarina Du Couteau, with Lark and Inara acting as seneschals. 

My first order of business is just as I promised, both the Guild and Jericho, I assign a few of our members to begin tracking our competition. My second act is far less exciting, Inara and I head to the archives to understand the degree of disorder things have fallen to, leaving Lark to monitor for any fresh discord. I have some time before it will be clear to go after Augustus. I had briefly considered assigning someone else to the task, but I’m familiar with the Montrose estate. I suppose it’s fitting, he once said I stole his heart, now I’ll steal his life. 

The Guild records are a shambles that reflect the last few years of leadership. I thumb through the latest records, noting the brazen embezzlement, and stare longingly at the fire. Inara laughs at me from behind a stack of loose papers belonging to gods know where. “Didn’t think this would be the hard part?” 

I lay my head down on the desk. “How did it get this bad? Is this a Guild of idiots?” 

“This is what happens when we rely on anyone who volunteers to do this. We only get thieves and idiots.” She sighs as she tosses the stack back down in front of her. 

“Nevermind, I resign my position.” That gets a small laugh from her and her eyes brighten a bit. I stand and stretch, time to get the blood flowing back into my limbs. “I’m done, I’ve got some other business to handle.” 

“Happy hunting, Commander.” For all that we have a mess ahead of us to deal with, there’s satisfaction about her. It makes me even more proud of what we’ve accomplished here tonight. 

The city is quiet, still wrapped in a snowy mantle from the other night. I move through the streets in welcome solitude, reaching the Montrose estate with ease. With my cloak tucked around me, I watch the kitchen from the garden, someone has left a lamp burning so I can see the vague shapes within. When I’m finally satisfied that no unwanted company is around, I approach, keeping my cloak tight, and tap lightly. It only takes a second before a scrawny young man with dirty blonde hair cracks the door, the corners of his mouth up turning into a vicious smile the second he sees me. “He’s saying a drunken farewell to his guests, a girl awaits him in the blue parlor upstairs.” With that he vanishes up the servant stairs, leaving me with free reign. 

With the other servants all withdrawn to their quarters the halls of the manor are as silent as the grave. I cautiously stalk through them, not making a sound, nearing the blue parlor.  My plan is to take the girl first and wait for him. Quick and clean, he won’t even know what happened. Then I hear it, from a room back near the main staircase, that ancient snarling voice. “Augustus, you spoiled little hedonist, where are you?” 

“Coming Grandmother!” His impatient reply comes from the bottom of the stairs. Life is good sometimes. 

The old woman is ensconced in an over-decorated bedroom that’s rotten with faded glory. I slip in and silently shut the door behind me. She scrambles to prop herself up in bed, she knows I’m not her grandson. Her eyes have begun to fail though, so that’s all she can make out. “Wh-who’s there?” She summons some power to her voice, she’s so used to being obeyed. She and many others are relics of old Noxus, a time when the nobility were parasites, feeding off the strength of the Empire. They are a vain, petty, self-absorbed, lot whose time has passed. 

I steal to her side and she makes a quiet gasp as her eyes finally reveal me. “Death Lady Montrose, death is among you tonight.” She makes to cry out but my hand slams down over her mouth. “This will be the fate of all who refuse to bend to the Empire’s new order.” I slide my blade between her ribs and down into her heart, a task made easy since she has no strength to struggle against me with. She slumps forward, her lifeblood draining into her fine bed covers. 

There are footsteps in the hall, Augustus finally decided to answer his grandmother’s summons, and I slip behind the door to await him. It's only a moment before he throws it open snarling. “What do you want, you old bat?”

Three steps in and he finally takes in the scene before him, coming to a dead stop. I softly shut the door once again. He sucks in a breath as if he wants to scream and then I’m right behind him, breathing down his neck quite literally. He laughs, a mirthless sound. “Two nights. I was allowed to live two nights after getting too close to you. He’s certainly possessive.” 

  “Don’t be dramatic. This is about something entirely beyond you and me.” He’s unnervingly pliant as I put the dagger to his throat. Poor, weak Augustus, he doesn’t even know how to resist me. He sniffles when he feels it against his skin, all his bravado evaporated. He’s not the first I’ve seen to shed tears at their end and I’m not inclined to be moved by it. 

“I would’ve done great things, you could have joined me at my side, Kat.” The words are marred by a strangled sobbing that he fights to keep from overtaking him. Back firm, but shoulders quaking, he struggles to meet his end with dignity. 

“I’m already doing great things.” I dig the edge of the blade into his flesh and a whimper escapes him. His knees buckle immediately and I step back from him as his life flows into the plush carpet. It’s not long before a shudder marks his last breath. 

Surveying the carnage around me I realize I may have gone a bit far with the old woman’s death. If Coraline faces repercussions from it Jericho will be furious. But then again, I smile to myself, it had been deeply satisfying putting an end to that bulwark of old Noxus. Either way, it is done and can’t be changed. I’ll need to slip out before that girl gets impatient and comes looking for Augustus. 

I find the kitchen door left slightly ajar after heading back down the servant stairs. I shut it fast behind me and return to the waiting darkness of the night. It’s been a long night and I feel it in the stitched wound in my leg and the aching bruise on my face, and it feels wondrous. Tonight I am triumphant. I finally have what my father once promised to me. I took it with strength and cunning, as a Noxian should. Would father be proud? Perhaps I should go ask mother, a cruel, petty voice inside whispers. No, forget it. I’m beyond her, she’s nothing, a ghost haunting the ruin of her own life. The rage I have toward her will not be so easily extinguished though.

I focus myself back on the Guild, that thundering sensation as the crowd declared for me. I feel pride welling up in me, my confidence soaring. I’m damned self-satisfied and achingly confident as I approach the house. I wonder if Jericho is awake. He shouldn’t be but he rarely sleeps as much as he ought to. If he is, we should celebrate tonight’s success. The thought of him whispering in my ear about how pleased he is with me sends a shiver through me. 

I’m broken out of my reverie by the sight of Dras shutting the gate. Odd that it’s open at this hour. He looks up at me and quickly looks away, but movement on the stairs has already drawn my attention. Jericho, he stops at the door when he hears me on the walk behind him. Breathing becomes difficult as I ascend the stairs to where he’s paused. I’ve always known I wasn’t the only one, I’ve just never had to viscerally confront it until this moment. 

“Kat.” He already sounds like he’s going to attempt some insincere apology. I brush past him, an ache spreading through my chest. Then it hits me, the cloying smell of decaying roses, the scent that always marks her presence. Her, why her?  Of course, it’s all another little power game to him. He puts a hand on my shoulder.

I shake it off with a violent shrug. “Don’t touch me.” I need to get away from him. I feel my eyes start to sting. No, I can’t do this in front of him. 

He cuts in front of me, blocking my way to the stairs. “Don’t be like this.” He’s so irritatingly calm compared to the storm exploding inside me. 

I put my hand up to ward him off. “It’s fine.” My voice somehow remains steady. “Exclusivity wasn’t part of our arrangement. I just want to be alone.” 

He steps forward, stubbornly ignoring everything I said, and reaches out to put his hand on my cheek. Gods, that normally has the power to melt me. “If it is fine, why are you being dramatic?” How typical of him.

“Fuck you.” I shove his hand away from me. “You always have to have the last word. You could’ve just let me walk away.”

He pinches the bridge of his nose, eyes shut for a second, as though I’m the one who’s offended him. “Fine go. I’d rather not put up with a childish tantrum.”

Childish, it stings in ways I can’t define. The pain of it all twists and transforms, becoming fury. I close the distance between us, tilting my head to glare up at him. “Maybe you’d prefer to not put up with me at all? I can arrange that.”

“Try it. What have you ever accomplished in your life without me.” He snaps back at me. 

Black washes over my vision, my thoughts vanishing into rage, and I lash out, striking him across the face. He catches my wrist with his left hand as I pull back. That roiling anger too quickly vanishes, replaced by a sudden dread as his eyes begin to smolder an unnatural crimson. I’ve never born witness to the demon truly unleashed. An aura of terrible power blazes around him, filling the hall with a haunting flickering red light. I quake slightly as I feel those unliving fingers dig into my wrist. “You ungrateful little bitch.” Another voice speaks along with his. Is it him or the demon in control now? 

Instead of the unnatural warmth of his touch that I know so well, a burning begins to singe my skin. “Let go!” I try to pull away and I flashback to that night that started all of this, a similar altercation between us,  how frighteningly strong he actually was. “Jericho, you’re hurting me.” In fear and desperation, I step forward and slam my shoulder into his chest.

He inhales sharply, backing up, and let’s go. His eyes close and that terrible power dissipates, coiling itself back inside him. I turn and flee, scared, humiliated, heartbroken. “Kat wait. I’m so sorry.” He calls after me, but I can’t even turn to face him. 

I slam the door to my room behind me and collapse into the window seat. Pulling my knees up to my chest, I try and steady my rapidly beating heart and panting breath. I should leave, just forget whatever this absurd arrangement has become and go. I look down at my wrist, a scarlet, irritated handprint wraps around it. I shift and a sheath digs into my back, causing me to recoil as though someone was behind me.  “Godsdamn it.” I pull out the dagger and send it across the room to embed in the wall. “Damn it all.” I rip the other blade from my back and toss it to the ground with a snarl before pulling my legs back up to my chest. Why can’t I find it in me to leave?

I stare apathetically out at the dark city until there’s a soft knock at the door. I’ll have to face him sooner or later anyway. “You wouldn’t go away if I told you to, so you might as well come in.” 

He doesn’t meet my eyes as he enters, genuine guilt for once written on his features. “I wanted to apologize. You told me that I should not wait to do so. So I am here. Peace offering?” He holds out a bottle of wine, Shuriman, dark and bitter, very fitting. 

Perhaps I am mad, but now that he’s here I don’t want him to leave me alone. I take the bottle and gesture to the seat next to me. As he sits I take a long pull from it. “Well, I’m listening.” 

He fixes his gaze on the floor. “That was...not entirely me. However, losing control, that was my fault. And I do beg your forgiveness. I will understand if you do not wish to give it.” 

After everything tonight I’ve grown numb and his words leave me oddly empty. But that lack of feeling brings some clarity, he’s not the only one who bears responsibility for what happened. “I shouldn’t have hit you. I’m sorry about that.” I take another pull off the bottle. “Interesting choice for an apology, what should I make of it?”

He shrugs. “I was sure you would be gone. I actually planned to drink myself to sleep.” 

I hand him back the bottle. “Would you really allow that?”

At last, he turns to look up at me, our eyes locking.  “I would not stop you if that is what you really wanted.” He passes the bottle back to me. 

I take another long pull. “And where would I go? What would I do?” Our fingers touch as he takes the bottle back from my hand and he brushes his thumb along mine.

“You would work something out. You don’t really need me. That’s the truth, despite what I said earlier. ” Is it? I stretch my legs out into his lap and hiss as pain shoots through my leg.  He looks at the floor again. “I forgot about your leg.” He sets the bottle to the side and takes my hand, looking pointedly at my wrist. “Should I go? Am I only making things worse?” 

I don’t think I could bear it if he did. “No, it’s fine, stay.” I leave my hand in his. He squeezes it ever so slightly as if he’s worried I’ll make him let go. 

Suddenly he leans over, arms around my waist and leaning his head against my chest. “I would prefer it if you didn’t leave though. I would miss you.” 

Why is it that the only mercy that exists in my soul is for him? I wrap my arms around his shoulders and return his embrace. “I’m not going to leave.” 

“Swear it?” he asks softly. 

“I swear I’m not leaving.” I kiss the top of his head and lean my cheek against it. 

He sighs as though he’s been relieved of a great burden. “And I swear to take more care from now on.” He pulls himself even tighter against me. “My Kitten.”  Does he really not know that oath or not, I can be nowhere but by his side?