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morganwrites12672 · 3 months ago

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Crush

Sam Winchester x Reader

Summary: The sorority girl that Sam has had a crush on for ages approaches him at a party one night.

Word Count: 3.5k

Warnings: 18+ Sorority Girl!Reader. Drinking. Smoking. It's a party. Smut. Fingering (f!receiving). Unprotected sex (bad idea, don't try this at home).

A/N: MINORS DNI also, thank you to @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles for beta reading and helping with some of this for me!

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The music was blasting throughout the house. Everyone had already drank too much. Well, almost everyone. She had been drinking soda all night. Being the designated driver was something she didn't mind doing. It was difficult though. Sorority girls were a fucking nightmare after a couple of shots.

Most of her Saturday nights were spent like this. The only difference was that by now she had usually gone upstairs with a guy. She leaned against the doorframe in the kitchen, watching the party. She took a sip of her soda. It was late, she was starting to get bored.

Parties weren't near as much fun sober. Probably because they had no real appeal. Without the liquor coursing through her veins all she saw was a bunch of idiots getting shit faced. She didn't think much of it. Next week, whenever one of her sorority sisters would be on designated driver duty, she would have a blast. Get shit faced, hookup. Anything she wanted. Anyone she wanted.

Being a sorority girl had benefits.

She threw her empty solo cup into the kitchen trash can before venturing back out to the party. She weaved her way through all of the drunk college kids. Knowing that she looked just like them on any other weekend made her feel a bit stupid. She ignored those thoughts. They wouldn't prevent her from partying next weekend. She needed to have something to look forward to after a week of hell.

She made her way to an area with less people; right beside the staircase. She noticed a man with shaggy brown hair and smiled. She could tell that he wasn't from one of fraternity's around here, or on the football team. That didn't seem to bother her for some reason.

She gave him a smile, her glossed lips shimmering in the lights of the party. "What's your name?" She asked him, eyes taking him in. He made her stomach do a back flip. The feeling was. . . oddly unusual. It almost made her do a double take.

The mans cheeks turned a soft shade of pink before he replied. It wasn't that hard for her to notice how flustered he was. She found it adorable. Again, something oddly unusual. She usually chose guys with a lot more confidence.

"Uh, Sam." His words were nearly drowned out by the music of the party. He realized how quiet his words had came out and repeated them a bit louder. His eyes drank her in. He couldn't believe that she was talking to him. The girl he'd had a crush on for most of his time at Stanford.

"It's nice to meet you, Sam." She replied before giving him her name. She fixed a piece of hair that had fallen into her face, pushing it behind her ear so that it wouldn't bother her any longer. "Did you come here alone?" She asked, her curiosity getting the best of her.

"N-no. My friend made me come," He replied. He ran a hand through his shaggy brown hair to fix his messy bangs. Her eyes lingered as she watched him. He noticed her gaze and his blush deepened.

His words made her smile brighten, "I take it that means you're available?" She asked. She wanted to confirm that he was single. She might get called a slut but that doesn't mean that she goes after guys in a relationship. It's not her fault that most lie.

Sam's eyes went wide. His heart hammered in his chest. He stuffed his hands in the front pockets of his jeans. Was she seriously asking him that question? He had known who she was before she'd introduced herself. Who didn't? She was pretty and popular. Sam had always hidden a tiny crush on her. Well, him and half of the other guys at this school.

"I-I am."

"Good," she said with a smile. She fixed her dress, pulling the hem down from where it had ridden up on her thighs. She loved the dress she was wearing. It was gorgeous and fit her body like a glove. The only issue was how much of a pain it was to keep pulling it down all night. It was worth it though.

"You look nice," Sam said, having built up an ounce of courage (which has already vanished). He was nervous as hell. Confidence wasn't his strong suit.

She leaned in a bit closer. "Thanks. You look great yourself," She replied. She couldn't take her eyes off of him. He looked like a god damn dream. She wondered how she hadn't noticed him before tonight.

Sam's eyes lingered on the way her sparkly eyeshadow gleamed in the light. He couldn't help but admire her. She was fucking gorgeous tonight, and any other night. He thought she looked incredible no matter where he saw her, or what she wore. She was perfect in his eyes.

"I'm gonna kiss you now, okay?" She said, making sure that he was okay with it. It wasn't often that she was the one to make the first move. She enjoyed it. Usually guys were pawing at her body with their tongues down her throat before even asking her name. Sam was different.

When Sam stayed silent she pressed her lips against his. She guided one of his hands to rest on her hip. She deepened the kiss, her tongue slowly sliding into his mouth. His lips tasted like cheap beer and Carmex.

He let out a soft groan as she kissed him harder. He let her have most of the control, going along with her movements. He let his hand gently squeeze her hip. She didn't seem to mind.

She pulled away after a minute, wanting to see the look on his face. The look on his face made her want to drag him upstairs that very second. His cheeks were a perfect shade of pink, his mouth hung open slightly, and his eyes were wide. She noticed the way his hazel eyes stared at her lips.

She noticed a smudge of pink gloss on his upper lip and wiped it away with her thumb. It made his blush deepen even more. Every touch from her had his body on fire. He has a chance with a girl he'd had a crush on for a while, he couldn't screw this up.

"That was-" she began to say but was cut off whenever Sam kissed her. She let out a small gasp against his lips. She hadn't expected him to do something like that. Not that she minded, not one bit.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and threaded her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck. He moaned into the kiss as she gently tugged on the hair she had been playing with. She walked a few steps backwards, all while still kissing Sam.

Whenever her back hit the wall, she leaned her head back to catch her breath. Sam pressed a cautious kiss to her collarbone. Her body arches into his touch and a smile spread over his lips. He kissed his way up to her jaw line, not yet brave enough to leave an actual hickey. Soft kisses would have to do for now.

"Let's take this upstairs," She said with a smile. Her lip gloss was smudged. She knew it, and didn't give a fuck. She would fix it later. Sam took a step back from her so that she could lead the way. He wasn't sure if she had a specific room in mind.

She walked past him, grabbing his hand as she walked. They walked last a couple drunkenly making out on the stair case, she rolled her eyes. At least she had the decency to get a room. Well, whenever she was sober. Tonight was making her rethink how often she drank. And how wasted she got. Maybe Sam would be a better influence on her.

She walked to the end of the hallway, finding a door that didn't have any noises coming from behind it. She gave sams hand a soft squeeze before opening the door and walking inside. She wasn't used to guys treating her this way. Sam made her feel special, even if she's barely even met him.

The door was shut and locked as soon as they had both stepped inside. She looked up at Sam, admiring every feature of his face. She couldn't help herself. He looked at her in a way that made her feel special. She didn't feel like some cheap hookup. She felt like he wouldn't leave her the second he got his fill.

Her hands went to the top button off his shirt. She paused though. Her eyes met his. "I'm going to take this off now, okay?" She said to him.

"Y-yeah. Okay" Sam's breath caught in his throat as she slowly unbuttoned his shirt. She wasn't ripping his clothes off. No, she was taking her sweet time. She wanted to enjoy every second of this. And she would.

As she was unbuttoning his shirt, she leaned up to kiss him again. His hand rested on her hip for a moment before resting on her ass. The two made their way to the bed, their lips never separating. It seemed as though breaking the kiss for even a second would be the end of the world right now.

She laid back on the bed. Sam's shirt had fallen to the floor sometime during the short walk over to the bed. He looked down at her with a smile. She was beautiful. He would never get tired of this view. He could only hope that he'd get the chance to see her again.

She sat up before adjusting the pillows behind her. She leaned back, half sitting up. Sam moved towards her and his hand gently cupped her jaw before kissing her again. She grabbed his wrist and guided his hand to her thigh.

She let her hands drift to the waistband of his jeans. She palmed his growing erection through the thick material. He broke the kiss, whimpering against her lips. The beautiful sound made her chuckle softly.

"You like that, huh?" She asked with lustful eyes. Every sound that Sam made had her going crazy.

Sam's cheeks turned red and he didn't reply, his gaze drifting down to the cleavage visible with how low cut her dress was. His eyes widened slightly. He didn't like how easily she was able to fluster him.

"Have you done this before?" She asked. She wanted to make sure that he wasn't about to lose his virginity at a shitty party.

"I-I have," Sam replied a bit quieter. It has been his first year at Stanford with some girl in his old English class. It hadn't been at a party like this though. No, the girl had been over at his apartment to study.

"Can I touch you?" Sam asked as his gaze went even lower. "Please?" He added. His eyes couldn't budge from her thighs. Her dress had ridden up whenever she had sat up against the pillows.

She smiled and pushed her dress up over her hips before spreading her legs for him. Sam grazed his fingers over her black underwear. He looked up at her to see her reaction.

Her breathe caught in her throat. Her core was throbbing. She was desperate for his touch. She noticed his hesitancy. She lifted her hips up a bit and he retracted his hand. She slid her underwear off.

"It's okay, you can touch me." Her words were gentle as she guided his hand to in between her thighs.

Sam slid a finger through her wetness and she gasped. She let her head fall back on the pillows, her hair sprawling out around her. Sam's touch was cautious. She grabbed his wrist and made his fingers prod at her entrance.

"U-use your ring finger first."

Sam followed her instructions, gently pushing his ring finger inside of her. He heard her gasp and looked up. He pushed his finger in all of the way and she groaned.

"Now c-curl it."

She moaned as he followed her instructions. The noise made Sam freeze for a moment. The second she bucked her hips against his hand he went back to curling his finger inside of her tight cunt. The noises coming out of her had his cock straining against his jeans. He attempted to ignore it as he curled his finger a little faster.

She gently wrapped her fingers around his wrist and he froze. She guided his hand so that his ring finger was now curling while thrusting in and out of her wet cunt. She moaned again, he was a fast learner even if his previous experience was more limited than hers.

"Ah-Add another," She gasped as she felt heat build up in her core. She felt Sam slip his middle finger inside of her. She rocked her hips in time with the thrusting of his fingers. Moans escaped her throat as he worked her open. "Fuck! Just like that."

"D-do you like this?" Sam asked. "I-i mean it sounds like you do but. . . I want to make sure I'm doing. . . this. . .right," He stuttered, not stopping his movements. Her cunt squeezed around his fingers.

"Y-yes!" She moaned. "J-just like that. You're doing such a good job for me," She gasped. She grabbed his other hand and moved it to her clit. He seemed to understand what she wanted and began rubbing sloppy circles on her puffy clit.

Her thighs had a slight tremble as her cunt squeezed his fingers even more. His fingers rubbing her clit sent jolts of pleasure throughout her body. She could feel her orgasm creeping up on her.

"I'm close!" She moaned as she clamped down around his fingers. Her head fell back as her orgasm washed over her. Sam felt her walls tighten around his fingers as her moans increased in volume. He kept thrusting his fingers, riding her through her orgasm as her moans grew more strained. She grabbed his wrist as a signal for him to stop. The overstimulation left her cheeks flushed.

His fingers slipped from her sopping hole, and his eyes flicked to her face, wide with awe. She took his wrist in her hand, guiding it to her mouth, and sucked on his fingers, letting her eyes flutter closed, she swirled her tongue around his fingers. A low moan escaped her throat at the taste of herself. Her eyes fluttered open and she giggled at the sight of Sam. She couldn't help herself. His mouth was hanging down for God's sake.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, her fingers tangling in his hair, as she pulled him down to her level. Her lips pressed against his. Sam was still frozen in a combination of shock and awe. He thought all of the noises that he had pulled out of her. As they kissed, her tongue invaded his mouth. Sam let out a small, needy whimper as she kissed him.

She sat up, pushing him down onto the bed before straddling his waist. Her hands went to the zipper of his jeans. She looked up at him. Sam's face and chest were flushed, his lips were red and slightly puffy, he already looked so fucked out and she had barely even touched him. She didn't waste any time in unzipping his pants. Sam lifted his hips and helped her get rid of the constricting material.

She teased him over his boxers. A strangled moan escapes Sam's throat as she ran her fingers over his clothed erection. His head dropped down onto the pillows, she gazed at his exposed throat. She leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the smooth expanse of delicate skin. Sam's breath hitched in his throat at the feeling of her lips.

"P-please. . . Please," Sam practically whimpered.

She let out a soft chuckle. "Please. . . what?" She continued her movements, gently running her fingers over his clothes erection. "I need you to use your words for me, sweetheart."

Sam's hips buck up, desperate for more. "P-please," He moans out. His chest heaves as he fights to keep his breathing even. "I need you to f-fuck me."

She tugged on the waistband of his boxers. Sam quickly lifted his hips so that she could rid him of the pesky material. She wrapped her hand around the base of his cock and gave it a light squeeze. She admired the pretty pink tip, leaking precum.

She lifted her hips before lining up her entrance with the tip of his cock. She had to admit, he was definitely larger than most guys she'd slept with. She wasn't going to tell Sam that though. She studied his expression with a small smile on her face. Sam watched her every move with his jaw slack, quiet moans leaving his throat.

She sinks down on him and his hands fly to her hips. She places one of her hands on his chest for support. She moans as she slowly sinks down. The stretch is a burn that quickly fades into an ache for more.

"F-fuck," She moaned out, adjusting to his size.

Sam was a beautiful mess beneath her. His hands squeezed her hips, just for something to hold onto. His body quivered ever so slightly. She felt so fucking tight around his cock. She'd barely even started and he could already feel heat forming in his stomach.

He moaned out her name as she rocked her hips. "P-please," He gasped as she lifted her hips up before dropping back down. Every thrust of her hips had him begging for more. The feeling of her tight cunt wrapped around him was almost too much.

He let one hand fall from her hip and slide in-between her legs. As his fumbling fingers found her clit, she let out a small gasp. Her eyes met his. It was the most gorgeous sight Sam had ever seen. Her tits bounced with every thrust of her hips, her lips were parted as she let out another moan, every piece and part of her was perfect.

How had he gotten this lucky? He never would have thought that she ever find out he even existed. Let alone wind up in bed with him. The view in front of him was like something from one of his wildest fantasies.

"Y-you look. . . s-so perfect," Sam half moaned, half whimpered as his fingers rubbed tight circles on her clit. He experimented with the speed. Whenever he hears her breath hitch in her throat he knew that he was doing it right.

She struggled to keep up her current pace with the way that Sam's cock hit that place inside of her cunt that practically made her see stars. Her lower abdomen was on fire. If Sam didn't slow down she might come quicker than she had been expecting.

"F-fuck! Just like that," She cried out.

Sam might not be the most experienced guy ever, but he was definitely a quick learner. The hand that wasn't on her clit went to her chest. He gently massaged one of her breasts. The soft skin felt like heaven beneath his hand. He squeezed her nipple and she moaned even louder. He was carefully watching every reaction she had, making sure that he was doing all of this right.

"Y-you feel so good," He whimpered.

His back arched up from the bed as he felt her walls tighten around him. He could feel his orgasm creeping up on him. His hips bucked up, meeting her thrusts. The action made her cry out.

"I-I'm. . . I'm about to come," Sam whimpered, his chest heaving.

His fingers had found a steady pace on her clit. Every circle of his fingers sent white hot pleasure coursing throughout her body. The way his hands carefully gripped at her chest. He soon moved the hand that had been on her chest, to her hips. He attempted to help guide her thrusts. She seemed to be tiring out.

"M-me too," She replied with a moan. She could feel his cock twitch inside of her. His eyes rolled back as his grip on her hips tightened. It only made her work harder. She was so fucking close. Sam wouldn't be able to last any longer.

He cried out from the overstimulation as her tight walls clenched around his cock, her own orgasm making her thrusts shaky. She felt pleasure overtake her body as Sam kept circling her clit with his no longer ungraceful fingers.

She guided his hand away as she slowly rocked her hips, basking in the subtle feeling of overstimulation. She slowly sat up before she stops. Her legs had a slight quiver as she walked into the bathroom. The loud music of the party was muted through the door. Though, it was obvious that the party was not even close to being finished for the night.

"Do you want to hop on the shower with me?" She asked with a smile. Sam's eyes went wide (for the hundredth time that night) before he climbed off the bed. He was standing at her side in seconds.

"T-that sounds nice."

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A/N: Don't forget to leave a comment or reblog if you enjoyed it!

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#sam winchester smut #sam winchester x you #sam winchester imagine #stanford sam #sam winchester x reader #sam winchester fanfiction #sam winchester #Sub!Sam Winchester #spn smut #supernatural smut

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musingsofahufflepuff · 9 months ago

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Just a Glimpse of Us

ex!Mattheo Riddle x gn!reader, Theodore Nott x gn!reader; angst

summary: after a particularly rough break up with mattheo, theodore is there to pick up the pieces. he’s the perfect boyfriend in theory, so why do you wish it was your ex instead?

a/n: while the reader is currently dating theo, this isn’t really about him (sorry bby ily). our focus today is matt. he’s a bit of a dick for the majority and says a couple of insensitive things. the happy ending won, so here it is, happy valentine’s day ♡

Only 2 weeks after your relationship ending fight with Mattheo Riddle, Theodore Nott asked you out. You said yes.

It had taken you a week longer than it had for Mattheo.

You weren’t entirely sure why you had said yes. The pessimist in you said it was only because you were hurt. The optimist in you meekly thought different.

Theodore was attractive and surprisingly gentle with you. In the days following the break up, he frequently sought you out in the nooks of the castle you started to escape to. The times when you couldn’t keep yourself together, he held you as you broke down in tears and didn’t let go until the pain subsided. His chest was warm and sturdy and safe. The scent of smoke lingered on him hauntingly similar to the way it hung to Mattheo, permeating his clothes and your soul.

He was there by your side when you stumbled on a Ravenclaw girl practically chewing Mattheo’s face off out in the hall in front of god and everyone, 3 days post breakup. Part of you knew he wanted you to see.

A piece of you died that day.

The following weekend party ended with you in Theodore’s bed. Maybe you wanted Matt to walk in his dorm and see you with one of his best friends. Maybe you wanted him to feel the same festering wound you had been living with since he had stormed out of your life.

He never did come back that night.

A week after Mattheo broke your heart a second time, Theodore found you sitting in the astronomy tower, knees to your chest, staring at the view of the valley. He sat next to you, arm easing its way across your shoulders as you leaned into him. He had seemed nervous, so unlike his usual stoic and relaxed demeanor.

“Would you want to maybe go to Hogsmeade with me tesorino?”

The pessimist in you was right.

♡ ♡ ♡

That was a month ago. A month of dating Theodore Nott. You were less sad at least. Or maybe you were just more numb.

Despite sitting at the Slytherin table with Theodore and your friends, you weren’t really present. You were vaguely aware of his hand resting on your side and the unintelligible chattering filling in the background noise of aimless thoughts. Your eyes were facing the rest of the Great Hall, but you were looking through it. You used to sit here with all the same people but Mattheo always used to be here too. You hadn’t seen him during meals or class lately. He would sling his arm around your waist during meals like this. Theodore’s touch burns.

Before your mind can drift off too far as to what he could possibly be up to recently, the doors to the great hall open with a thud.

It takes a few blinks to get your eyes to focus back and when they do, you’re greeted to a bored looking Mattheo, arm loosely resting on—what appears to be a Hufflepuff—girl’s shoulder.

Theodore’s grip on you tightens and a kiss is pressed to your temple. Matt’s eyes rake over to where you’re sat and you can’t quite figure out what he’s thinking. As quickly as he looked your way, he directs his attention elsewhere.

“You okay tesorino? You got tense,” Theodore speaks softly above your ear.

With an exhale you smile up at him, “I’m okay Teddy.” He’s looking at you like you placed the moon in the sky for his enjoyment and it reminds you of brown eyes that had once looked at you the same way.

Pushing the thought from your mind, you press a firm kiss on his lips- searching for butterflies or fireworks or something when he returns the motion.

You find none.

♡ ♡ ♡

“Nott? Really sweetheart? You can do better than that.”

Mattheo’s voice stabs through you, making you involuntarily jerk to a halt. It had been so long since you’d heard his voice. You try to regain your breath before turning to face him. He’s standing in the middle of the hall, cocky smile on his face. You had forgotten how arrogant he could be, used to his sweet smiles and soft eyes reserved only for you. You desperately longed for it. That Matt was long gone, just a whisper you were still hopelessly trying to grasp onto.

He raises an eyebrow when you make no attempt to respond, seemingly expecting a snarky remark. He takes a couple strides toward you. He baits you again, “I guess I can see why you hang around him, he follows you around like a pathetic dog.” You bite.

“At least I’m not a manwhore who jumps in the first skirt offered to him,” the calm in your tone surprises you, your entire soul feels like it could shatter any moment. “What do you want Riddle?”

Something flashes across Matt’s face for the briefest of moments. So subtle only you would have noticed it.

Before he can respond Theodore is by your side, “why don’t you say that shit to my face next time.”

“And here’s the guard dog now. Have to say, didn’t expect my best mate to lap up my sloppy seconds.”

Tears sting in your eyes at his unexpected cruelty. Then the sound of a fist cracking bone is making you jump. You cover your mouth with your hands as blood starts pouring out of Mattheo’s nose. A crowd has started to form around the three of you and you’re grabbing Theodore’s arm that’s getting ready to take another swing.

Matt’s face is hard to read. He doesn’t immediately react to his apparently broken nose nor the blood staining his uniform. Instead his eyes are locked on you.

You force your voice to work, “c’mon Teddy, it’s not worth it.”

He snaps his head towards you in bewilderment. “Tesorino you heard what he just said about you, right?” Your heart aches at his concern only for you, your gaze shifting to meet Mattheo. The same aching heart reminds you he would have done the same for you once upon a time.

Those pretty brown eyes convince you that you don’t want to see his face anymore beaten than it already was.

“Please Teddy, let’s just go.” You look up at Theodore’s face and tug on his arm.

He relaxes his stance and gives you a nod, letting you lead him away. You do your best to not look back at Mattheo.

However you can’t help the quick glance over your shoulder; seeing Matt looking at you, ironically, like a kicked puppy.

You cry yourself to sleep that night, locked in Theodore’s suffocating embrace.

♡ ♡ ♡

Monday night finds you back in the astronomy tower, cigarette in your fingers. You had swiped it from Theodore’s stash before classes this morning. It wasn’t the same brand Matt used. Knowing Nott, it was probably higher quality.

You turn the stick in your hand, blinking back tears. Thoughts of your time up here with Matt swirl around your head, making it hard to breathe.

There at the top of the tower surrounded by the cool night, you break.

It happens all at once. No build up, just a shatter. Sobs rack through your body and an animalistic cry of pure pain and despair forces its way out of you.

♡ ♡ ♡

Mattheo pushes himself off the leather couch he sat on in the common room. Enzo looks up at him with furrowed eyebrows. He pulls a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and flashes it at the boy, “need a smoke, wanna come with?”

He gets a small head shake no in response before he turns to leave the dungeons.

The walk up to the astronomy tower is familiar and would be comforting in different circumstances. As he starts climbing up the stairs he hears broken sobs echo through the tower. He hesitates thinking it might be best to leave the person alone, but his concern wins out and he treks onward. To say he’s shocked when he sees it’s you is an understatement. Heart rate picking up at the thought of you being hurt, he makes his way over.

At the sound of his footsteps, in between sobs you choke out, “please leave Theo, I want to be alone.”

“I’m not Theo, sorry to disappoint,” the words are slightly joking but his tone is gentle.

You lift your head up to look at him, eyes red and tear tracks staining your cheeks. His heart aches. He settles himself down next to you, giving you space.

You sit together in silence for a few moments, his mere presence wrapping itself around you like a childhood blanket, tattered and long lost. You feel some semblance of peace for the first time in months.

“I’m sorry,” he ducks his head down, shame overtaking him. “You didn’t deserve the way I treated you.”

He tilts his head to look at you, eyebrows knitting together. He almost looks like he could cry. “You’re not my sloppy seconds and Theo isn’t a dog, I just-“ he goes back to avoiding your eyes and blinks a couple times, a tear rolling down his cheek. You reach out and gently wipe it away with your thumb. It has the unintended consequence of making more tears start to fall.

“I was angry and hurt and I guess the only way I know how to express that is by hurting everyone around me.” Your soul shouts at you to reach out for him, but you hold back.

“I think about you all the time,” he’s curled in on himself in the way you’ve only ever seen him do when he talks about his home life. “I miss you so much.”

His eyes squeeze shut in an attempt to stop crying, fingers digging into his biceps. You know him too well, can read his actions like you were reading his mind.

You pull him into your arms.

It’s easy to tell you made the right decision when he instantly relaxes in your embrace, instinctively pushing his head against your chest like he had done so many times before. His voice comes out quieter when he says, “I don’t expect you to forgive me, lord knows I wouldn’t.”

A small smile works its way onto your face as you speak to him for the first time since the fight in the hallway, “you’ve always been the type to hold a grudge. And I know you’d never admit it, but it’s because you care.”

“I’m sorry for kissing that girl, I don’t even know her name. I thought it would fill the hole in me, but it didn’t. Then I saw you with Theo at the party and—“ his voice cracks. You tighten your grip, a hand coming up to run through his curls.

You release a breath you didn’t realize you had been holding, “I told Theo that I couldn’t keep seeing him today. I felt like I was using him, cause he’s not you.”

Matt pulls himself out of your embrace to cup your face in his hands, dark eyes swimming with unshed tears and that gentle look he used to give you. The one where you could see the longing, the raw need for your touch and love and approval and very essence of your being. It was vulnerable and gave away just how deeply sorry he was for hurting you.

You were drawn to him as you had always been, a planet orbiting a sun that gave off such warmth and fiery passion but could also burn magnitudes of pain that was near incomprehensible.

“I can’t fix the damage I’ve done, but I want to spend my life making it up to you. And I’ll do everything in my power to make amends with Theo. Please, let me be part of your life again.”

“Matty, I want to, but I don’t want to feel like that again. It was hell,” your voice catches on the last part, a stray tear escaping. Gentle lips are pressed on your cheek where the tear was.

“I will never make you feel that way again. And I give you full permission to use an unforgivable if I don’t keep my promise. Fuck, I’ll take an unbreakable vow if that’s what you want, love.”

You can’t hold back anymore, pressing your lips to his in a kiss that rivals the most beautiful sunsets, warmth rushing over you. This is what home feels like.

#mattheo riddle #theodore nott #mattheo riddle x reader #theodore nott x reader #mattheo x you #mattheo riddle x male reader #theo nott x reader #theo nott x male reader #theo nott #slytherin boys #harry potter #angst #angst with a happy ending

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jolalibrary · 1 year ago

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epilogue. she might just be my everything and beyond

javier peña x f!reader | epilogue of late night texts

summary: It's the year 2000. Javi is minding his own business on the porch of his pop's ranch when a text from an unknown number vibrates his phone. The only problem is, no one knows he has a phone and no one has his number.

chapter warnings: here's the epilogue. two idiots pining for one another. fluff. flirting. continuous romcom vibes. falling in love. idiots in love. mention of olivia (steve's and connie's child) ✨ wordcount: 2.7k.

an: at the end.

text key: bold is you/reader | italics is javi

you keep flirting with me and ill drive myself over

Oh will you now?

use my key and everything

You have had very little reason to use it lately.

thats cause youre so desperate youre already at the door

Desperate or welcoming?

both

I can be less desperate next time, if you prefer.

dont you fucking dare baby

So when you coming over?

already putting my shoes on

It flies by, time.

One minute, he’s clutching your hands until your fingers slide from his. A promise in the air, one he knows you’ll keep because it's all temporary. Knowing that you’ll be right back, suitcase—and possessions following behind—as you move across the country.

Within a blink, Javi is asking you where you want things to go, in the little place you chose with so much ease. Spotting you unpack a photo frame, the photo strip from Houston front and centre, sitting on a bed of receipts.

The next, he’s sweating for reasons he’d rather not be.

His back twinging, protesting as he carries another box to the van. Your smile rises at the sight of him approaching, gesturing to pass it to you—still standing on the edge of the truck.

“Cariño. You’ve lived here six months. How have you amassed so much sh–tuff?”

Narrowing your eyes, taking the box and placing it on top of another, “Nice save.”

Sending you a sink, he smiles as you slide your hand in his to get down. Knowing he doesn’t ever need to feel them slide from his again—hopefully, no emotional goodbyes at the airport. Not ones that don’t involve you visiting someone for a long weekend here or there.

“Are you forgetting that I packed an entire suitcase the first time I saw you? Because knowing that information, I am surprised you’re confused that I’ve doubled my possessions since living here?”

Pulling you close, he focuses on how you feel warm against him—fitting against him perfectly. A feeling he’s had plenty of time to grow used to but finds he never does. How you slot with him, face turned upwards, looking at him like he moves mountains and walks across fire.

If you asked him, he would.

But you never do. You just look at him as though you know he would. Knowing he does.

He supposes it’s why you’re all set to move in with him. Into his home. His room.

This place—as lovely as it has been—will no longer be yours. The little home in the centre of town is tucked away above a video store that you’ve become a frequent customer of, whether he has plans with you or not.

From tomorrow morning, though, you’ll be waking up with him officially. The two of you have had months of it, where you’re there but not entirely with him. Even if, over time, your things have been left amongst his, some even finding themselves hanging alongside his. To the point a drawer was needed—and hangers. Still, for a while, when you said home, you had meant yours.

That was until the last few weeks. Your eyes shimmering, twinkling with the stars in the night sky, curled into his side. His green jacket, the one with the brown collar, wrapped around your shoulders, no longer smelled of old cigarette smoke and desperation but rather sweetness and hope. Your hand entwined with his:

Can we go home, baby?

Yeah, I can take you now.

No, to yours.

You poke him. Light, but purposeful. A little jab to bring him back, and the way you’re smiling at him—fuck. He can’t imagine a look that could make his heart double in size quicker. His thumb strokes alongside your cheek. His pink shirt—the one you had commandeered as your own—rolled up at the sleeves and tied at your waist.

Javi’s noticed you steal his clothes a lot. Fashion them into something that suits you better. He doesn’t moan. If anything, he makes it a purposeful thing to show you how much it means to him—how much he likes it, craves it.

“C’mon, only a few more boxes...”

Groaning, he buries his lips against yours, feeling your smile widen, grinning widely against him as you hold him close.

Your teeth pull at his bottom lip before releasing it with a pop, a twinkle to your eyes. “… think of it like this: once the van is packed, we get more time to say goodbye before I have to return the keys.”

“Hmm,” he mumbles, keeping you in place with two fingers under your chin. “And how do you plan on us saying goodbye, baby?”

Sliding your nose against his cheek. “Loudly. I plan on saying it loud, baby.”

You packed me a note in my lunch?

I did

It wasn’t very safe for work.

you said you eat your lunch at your desk

Yes but I’m not a loner, Javi. I do eat lunch with people.

lesson learned then baby

But yes.

yeah?

I don’t think the porch table will cope though, may have to think of a more stable surface.

I think I can think of something

No wood! I am not having you pick splinters out of my ass again, baby.

that was on you

I think it was on you and your speech about how beautiful I looked being a ranch-hand.

Do you fancy coming to my office Halloween party?

do I have to dress up

Yes. But if it makes you feel better, I’ll be dressed up too.

before I decide what are you dressing up as

That’s the incentive to come, if you say yes I’ll tell you.

do you want me there

Yes! Want to show you off

then ill be there baby

Because you like being showed off?

yes. but also because you want me there

While outwardly, he’d protested the trip to Miami from the moment you booked it off work up until he was sat beside you on the plane, he does see the beauty in it.

Although, Javi primarily suspects that it is down to you. You with your legs out, you in a bikini on the beach, robbing his shades until he buys you your own—a matching pair, something that makes Steve chuckle and Connie aww.

The lazy mornings that remind him of Houston are nice, too. The ones where neither of you are woken by an alarm or his Pop’s awful singing. The backdrop of the airy hotel room and a warm, gentle breeze blowing the sheer curtains as his thumbs dig into the back of your thighs and make you chant, is a bonus.

Because Javi can make your skin glisten, and your body sing, whenever and wherever he gets the chance.

What he can’t have at home with you is the sight of you fitting in so easily with the two people who have become a second family. The ones who have seen him go to lengths he hadn't known was possible, him and his old partner seeing things that only appear in occasional nightmares now.

Connie and Steve welcomed you in with ease and with them, you smiled so effortlessly. Blending in like you were always there—laughter bursting out of you when you’re playing with Olivia.

It's there, ever-present on the beach, as you chase Olivia around in the sand. The castles the two of you had been making long since trodden on, as the little girl squeals and squeals until she’s caught.

“You should marry her.”

Turning his head, Steve nods towards the three of you. Connie snapping photos as you roll in the sand. The yellow tinge from his aviators adds an additional glow to the world as he eyes up his former partner-turned-friend—a friend who apparently now gives unwarranted marriage advice.

Scratching his chin, he rolls his jaw. “You giving me permission, Murph?”

“C’mon, Jav. She’s nice, good to you. Clearly makes you very fuckin’ happy.”

“Yeah, well. Maybe I’m already planning it.”

“Yeah? Fuck. Can’t wait to tell Connie. She told me I needed to convince you.”

Javi shrugs, pushing the glasses up his nose. “It so hard to believe I’d have come to that conclusion on my own?”

“Before you met her? Yeah. Since her? No. Could tell you were smitten—”

Snorting, Javi runs his hand across his chin. “I was not fucking smitten.”

“Yeah, you fucking was. No shame in that, Jav. No shame in enjoying one good woman.”

Groaning, he turns back to the laughter. The corner of his lips twitched, wishing to slide into his cheeks as he watches you throw your head back, neck exposed, as Olivia tries to do a handstand.

“I got the ring last month.”

“Shit.”

Turning his head, he narrows his eyes, watching Steve put his hands up in defence.

“You just said—“

“Yeah, well. Forgot how determined y’can be about things. Surprised me. S’not a bad thing,” Steve says. “Just, y’know. Years ago, I knew you as the man who fucked his way through—“

Elbowing him, Javi smirks as he hears Steve splutter. A sharp look added as Steve holds his hand up.

“I’m not that person anymore, Murphy.”

His friend nods, apology falling. The evidence that he means it stitching into his expression—that he was just joking, teasing. An explanation coming, that he knows how he’s changed—all words he would have once craved hearing. But since meeting you, he’d found even the teasing didn’t upset him as much.

Clapping his hand on his shoulder, Javi looks over his shades. “I know. Alright. Just, I don’t like the reminder, that's all. Feels like… feels like a lifetime ago.”

“Y’telling me.”

Snorting, Javi slides his hand off. Moving his eyes back to the sight of Olivia grinning at the two of them. Her small hand trying to cover her mouth as she whispers something to you, something which Javi suspects involves him from the way she’s running full speed towards him.

“She’s grown up so quickly.”

He’s about to reply, but Olivia interrupts—skidding to a stop in the sand, kicking it across his feet. Swiftly, her hand—all small and delicate—wraps around and tugs on his hand.

“Uncle Javi, can you come play?”

Over the top of her, he spots you. Leaning your weight on one side, hand covering your brows to watch his expression.

And fuck, how can he say no to either of you.

hows pops?

He’s good. In fact, enough to be getting your Mom’s cookbooks down from the shelf for me.

I hope you know thats him saying he loves you

He has told me how much it means to him that I wanted these. Also keeps telling me that he’s happy they’ll be staying in the family.

bet that made you cry didn’t it

Yes! Obviously.

youre so cute baby

In my defence he caught me off guard with the comment, I was busy staring and deciphering the handwritten notes.

not gonna be able to read them now if youve cried all over them

As always, you’re hilarious. I obviously didn’t cry into the book! I cried in the bathroom.

you turn the tap on to try and hide it again

Shut up, Javi.

i should be back soon, just grabbing the parts now

Don’t rush, he’s fine. Promise. He even says his back is barely giving him any problems since I told him I’d cook from the book.

what you cooking?

Come home safe and find out.

youre such a tease

Learned it from you baby.

At one stage, Javi had been good with people.

Persuasive.

Now, he’s unsure if he even knows how to ask for a favour without giving something up or flirting.

He’s still charismatic, or so you tell him. But, he's pretty sure his tact has gone, impatience bubbling as he tries to pretend to give enough of a shit to be able to ask for the favour he wants.

For you, he decides to push through. To not walk back through the door he came through. He does stuff his hands into his jacket, the man staring at him, still wearing the same confused expression he had when Javi first stepped through the door.

Because even if he’s explained three fucking times, the man still doesn’t understand why he asked him to create the crossword he’s got clutched in his hands.

The one that would never even go to print—just a single request. A favour. All personal, just for him. Not to be published in every newspaper, but just one.

The one for him, and him alone.

It didn't matter how many ways he explained it, the man remained confused. Only reluctantly accepting, he's sure, to get him to leave.

That had been days ago. Now, you're ahead of him. Your fingers brushing over the tops of long stands, occasionally looking over your shoulder at him, making him feel like he's stepped into one of the movies you've made him watch.

Even when you look ahead, he can tell you’re grinning from behind—taking the view in. It's 'one of your favourites', something you’d told him the first time he brought you here.

It’s why he brought you here, now.

Second to you, of course, baby.

You stop some distance ahead, beginning to place down a blanket, all chequered and soft, as he comes to join you. Placing the basket in his hand down on the edge of it, before your fingers are swatting at him and undoing the ties before you grasp the bottle, food and other bits.

Not that he can eat, needing more than what the wine you’d grabbed would do.

Nerves bubbling, dancing and fluttering like the flies further down the hill. You don't notice. You're focused on the newspaper, the crossword he's not let you see for the last few hours, taunting you, making you wait.

He almost wishes he hadn't when it adds to the knot in his stomach, it tightening more when you become irritated at his coyness as he's reading out the clues—

Javi, what are you up to? You always do down, across, down. Always.

You’d have made a good detective or DEA agent.

Likely given him and Murphy a run for their money—something Steve had even said to you both when the two of you were in Miami. Sand in your toes, sea air in your hair—grin brighter than the sun.

“Give it here,” you say, not sharply, but not playfully either.

His hand wipes his lower mouth, hiding his smirk, having wanted you to do that for the past fifteen minutes.

When you take the crossword, you’re chewing.

Distracted, barely able to spot him sliding the remainder of your punnet from reach. Because Javi remembers how you feel about being asked any critical questions when you are eating.

He supposes it's the one benefit of you making him watch so many romcoms. It allowed him to do market research and ask questions without raising your suspicion, such as where wouldn't you like to be asked and if you want him down on one knee.

Mainly, I don’t want to have food in my teeth when I’m being asked. Don't want to spit any leftovers at you in my shock.

“Hey,” he whispers, stealing your attention—watching you smile, glancing at your clean teeth. “Eres preciosa.”

Your lips slide, curling up into your cheek. “You’re such a flirt, Peña.”

Kissing your cheek, he keeps his arm around you. Fingers playing with the fabric on your hip—balling it up before smoothing it out. Thumb and index brushing, calming, soothing him as your eyes glance over the page.

Occasionally, asking him things, avoiding the clues he desperately wants you to solve.

Until.

Fuck, until.

“Javi.”

“Hmm,” he mumbles, pretending indifference, head tilted down, resting his chin on your shoulder—knowing from the high-pitched way you said this name that you’ve already cracked it.

Your fingers slide over the paper, smothering the white and black boxes from view. “Javi?”

“Yes, baby.”

“I think that’s my reply, isn’t it?”

Lips curling, he wraps his fingers around your chin, turning you to face him. Watching it happen in slow motion, how you smile before you grin—tears all but filling your eyes as you clearly try not to get ahead of yourself.

“You wanna make me less lonely, cariño?”

Swallowing, you drop the paper. Let it fall to the blanket, twisting your body until your knees are between his thighs as you take both sides of his cheeks.

“Sí.”

“Sí?”

Nodding, a tear falls. It's one shimmering with joy and happiness, his thumb swiping it, spreading it across your skin.

“I don’t know… I don’t know the translation,” you laugh, it spluttering, fingers stroking his skin. “But I’ll marry you. I love you. Yes, Javi.”

And he whispers it.

The translation. Pressing it, as well as I love you, to your lips as his arms snake further around your waist. Hearing you, all quiet, it almost buried in kisses, repeating the translation back.

Before he falls backwards into the grass, with you on top of him—his fiancé. His world.

you fancy coming to laredo in autumn

Any particular reason?

been told I need a best man and I only know you

an: gosh, here we are. i began writing late night texts one night after a chaotic chat with @guyfieriii because i was manic/sad/anxious all at once and it was the only logical thing i could focus on. as much as javi and reader saved one another, they saved me too. thank you to you lovely lot. not only did you welcome this in with open arms, but you cheered me on every single week (also, btw, how cool is it we didn't miss a single week omg). i owe you so much, and i cannot believe we made it here together. to the old followers, i see you. to the new ones who just discovered me, hey, welcome. to all of the friends I've harrassed over the last few months, i love you. to the new ones I've made, i also love you omg. i'm already missing this pair so much, and i cannot wait until we get to hang out with them sporadically. i'm going to go cry in a corner, but just know my heart is so full and so happy and it's all down to you all 🩷

#javier peña x reader #javi peña x reader #javi peña x you #javier peña x you #narcos x reader #javier pena x reader #javier pena x you #javi pena x reader #narcos javier x reader #narcos javier #pedro pascal x reader #narcos fanfiction #pedrostories #mm: late night texts #javier peña fanfiction #pedro pascal characters fanfiction #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal fanfic

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creadigol · 1 month ago

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Hey y'all! I'm finally back and ready to write! Here is a part two of the 'Hero's special event' snippet. I don't know if it is going in the direction everyone thought, but sometimes the characters decide the plot, not me. I hope y'all enjoy!

Part One here!

It had started as a quiet night. For that, Hero was grateful. They really didn’t feel like dealing with anything more than the occasional small-time hood. They had chosen to come back on a Thursday specifically because the last night before the weekend always seemed to be the one every big time Villain took off.

“Finally back, are you?”

They thought too soon.

“Awful long time you took. No one can afford a honeymoon that long…well most not anyone. Thought you had retired for a couple weeks there,” the words were said with a slight chuckle.

Villain leisurely sauntered across the dank rooftop with a practiced ease. From where Hero was, leaning against the retaining wall overlooking the city, they could tell Villain thought the words much more important than how they were presenting them. Villain’s walk was relaxed, but their shoulders were coiled and tight.

Hero quirked an eyebrow, side eyeing them through the thin layer of their mask; “Almost did.”

Villain froze in their approach.

“But not for the reason you think,” Hero finished.

Villain folded their arms. “Then why?”

Hero dragged out a breath, regretting their decision to quit smoking all those years ago.

“Doesn’t matter. I’m here now… ready and able to fight for truth and justice,” Hero hoped it didn’t come out as sarcastic as they felt. “And what are you doing here? You can’t possibly want to rob this place. It’s all low income housing.”

“I don’t rob anyone making less than 30k a year,” Villain shrugged. “I have standards.”

And morals, thought Hero. It was half the reason Hero went along with their casual chats.

They both stood in awkward silence for a few moments. Hero didn’t really know what to say. A part of them wanted to head to the nearest ladder, go home and call in Other Hero to cover the rest of their shift; and another, more confusing part of them wanted to apologize to Villain for being gone so long in the first place.

“So?” Hero settled for the third option. Awkward conversation.

“So?” Villain echoed.

“So, what are you doing here?”

Villain had the audacity to look confused. “Looking for you of course.”

That…wait…

Hero was not expecting that.

“A little birdie told me you’d finally come back. Came to see how the wedding went. Though after a two month long honeymoon I can take a guess.” Villain finished their way toward Hero and leaned against the wall next to them. Their shoulders were almost touching though neither looked directly at the other. Both their gazes were stretched over the city they each had very different plans for.

“Seriously, who takes a honeymoon that long anyway?” Villain huffed. “Hell, after that long I’d be ready for divorce.”

Hero subconsciously rubbed the front of their suit where a pocket would normally be in their civilian clothes.

“Not a problem when you're on the honeymoon by yourself,” Hero padded their pockets, knowing that logically there was nothing there. Seriously, why had they ever given up smoking?

“What?”

Hero finally looked at Villain. By what they could see of Villain's face, what wasn’t covered by the eye mask, there was a look of sudden shock and bewilderment.

“Do you have a cigarette?” Hero asked abruptly.

“By yourself…Hero why were you…wait, what?” Villain looked like an old Dell processor trying to compute dial up for the first time.

“A cigarette,” Hero stated. “Do you have one?”

They didn’t ask about a light. Their powers were more than sufficient to light a menthol.

Villain blinked a couple times, staring Hero in the eyes. “No. I don’t smoke.”

Hero huffed,

“Of course you don’t.” They pushed off the wall and started towards the ladder down to the fire escape.

“Hang on, where are you going?” Hero felt a light brush against their arm. Probably Villain having reached out and then thought better of it.

“To a corner store. There’s one two blocks down,” Hero didn’t break stride.

“For what?”

“A cigarette!” Hero barked. They turned to face Villain as they mounted the latter. “Obviously!”

“Since when do you smoke?” Villain kicked up a light jog across the rooftop to reach Hero before they stared down.

Hero rolled their eyes even though Villain couldn’t see it through the mask.

“I don’t..well I used to…” Their emotions were getting the best of them. God, why did they have to tell Villain they went on the honeymoon alone? It had just slipped out! Shit, they hadn’t even told the other Heros. It was just too humiliating…but of course, two sentences from Villain and Hero was spilling their guts. They knew they should have taken a longer absence.

“I do now…again!” Hero settled on. They hopped down two rungs before feeling strong grips on their forearms. Villain held on securely and they leaned over the latter to look down at Hero, their gaze intense.

“Let go,” Hero said.

“Not before I have answers,” Villain replied softly.

“I said, let go.”

“That’s not an answer.”

“Let go!”

“Still no.”

Hero tightened their grip on the rungs that Villain held their arms to. In one fluid motion they took all their weight onto their hands, lifted themselves off the ladder and, in a move that would make gymnasts jealous, kicked Villain square in the chest.

It wasn’t the hardest they've ever kicked Villain, but it was enough to make Villain stumble back, releasing Hero’s arms and taking a deep breath from the impact.

Hero landed gracefully on their feet, once again on the rooftop.

“Thank you,” they said sarcastically, “for letting go.”

Villain let out one last cough and straightened up. “Okay…I deserved that. But you can’t just lay a bomb like that on me and then leave for…for a cigarette? Really?”

“Well forgive me for thinking that after five years I should be entitled to have one.”

Villain shook their head, “Oh, for the love of…after five years you shouldn’t be entitled to a smoke, you shouldn’t want one at all! But that’s not the point here…” “It sure seems like the point since you’re so invested in my lungs for some reason…”

“THE POINT,” Villain cut them off, “is you going on a honeymoon alone. I’m guessing that means what I think it means. And… the reason you’ve been gone so long.” Their voice softened by the end.

Somehow, the softening of their tone made the coiled frustration inside Hero ease a little.

“Yeah…yeah.” Hero sounded defeated.

Villain slowly approached them. Hero slumped their shoulders and leaned heavily against the ladder rungs.

“What happened, Hero?” Villain asked.

Hero felt their resolve, a hard frosted thing they didn’t even realize was surrounding them, crumble.

“Was it your father? Did he show up?”

Hero let out a rueful chuckle, “Oh yeah, he showed up alright.”

Villain tensed.

“But, as much of a nuisance as he is, he’s not what ruined everything. Surprisingly he was well behaved, despite crashing.”

Hero felt their throat tightening. God, this was so humiliating.

“Come on Hero, give me something.” Villain leaned into their space, their tone taking on a light tone in an attempt to soften the conversation. “Don’t tell me you pulled a Friends moment and said the wrong name at the altar?” They patted Hero’s shoulder. Hero forced out a breath.

“I didn’t say the wrong name.”

The hand on their shoulder stiffened.

“You mean…no…your fiance?”

“Said the wrong name. Yes. Or the right name, if you want to think about it that way, since they're now planning their wedding.” Hero looked down. Tears threatened to leak past their mask and they didn’t want Villain seeing. It was bad enough they had dwelled on this for two months. They had told themselves they should be past this…but the look on their fiance’s face…the humiliation of it happening in front of their family and friends…and the heartbreak of finding out their love was not reciprocated…it was still so much.

“Oh, Hero…” Villain whispered. Suddenly, Hero felt strong arms around them and their head was pressed against a shoulder. “I’m so sorry.”

Their resolve turned to dust.

“I just…” Hero’s breath hitched and a sob escaped them. No one had just held them like this. After the fact, Hero’s family and friends and all tried to console them, words like it just wasn’t meant to be and there’s other fish in the sea were spoken again and again, but no one had let them just be. Just feel the pain and let it out.

“It was so humiliating,” Hero choked out into Villain’s suit.

“I can’t imagine,” Villain rubbed circles into Hero’s back.

“I wasn’t enough…I knew it…I know I’m busy all the time…but I thought we could get through it ... .god, I would have retired early if they had asked…but I just wasn’t enough…”

They couldn’t continue, sobs which had been suppressed for two months finally breaking free and flowing out of them like a tidal wave.

After what felt like hours, they came back to themselves and realized that Villain and lowered them both to the ground and was steadily rubbing comforting circles into their back. They sniffled and shifted. They opened their mouth to apologize when Villain said,

“You are enough Hero.”

Villain took a deep breath and the shaking of their shoulders, which hero hadn’t even felt at first with their own crying, lessened. “Hell, you’re more than enough. Better than enough. And you deserve someone who sees you as their whole world. Not just a spouse, not just a partner…but everything. They should see you as their everything.” Villain shifted and gently put Hero at arms length so as to look into Hero’s mask, “I know you can’t feel that now, but you will. Given time, you’ll realize that you’re better off and you deserve to be someone’s first and only choice, not a backup to the one they actually want at the altar.” If not for the conviction, Hero would have thought Villain sounded angry.

Hero nodded. They knew what Villain was saying was true, they had known it all along. It just hurt to have your heart broken.

“Why do you care?” Hero wasn’t sure what spurred them to ask that question, but it had slipped out nonetheless.

Villain pulled them close once more.

“Because I never would have left you at the altar.”

It was a solid minute before those words sunk in.

@thats-alittle-gay @fishradiation @dreamfyrethesadqueenprotector @ekira17

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sticky-cravings · 2 months ago

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Conserving Energy

CW: Glorification of mobility loss and weight gain, cannabis use, unhealthy weight gain, exhibitionism

That was the strategy that led to my weight gain. Not just grazing on whatever I want whenever I want, but also keeping it all on my bed within arm's reach. The goal is to stay in bed and do nothing for as long as possible. I avoid caffeine and eat indica edibles when I first wake up to keep me hazy and glued to the bed. In between then, I shimmy out of bed and plop myself into the office chair next to my bed. I roll to my bathroom and slowly waddle to the toilet. To save calories, i roll around my apartment on an office chair and get all my essentials delivered so I don't have to leave. I grab a big tray from my kitchen and load it up with doughnuts, pastries, bacon, and cereal for my late breakfast. I grab a gallon of ice cream and some cookies before rolling back into bed.

By now, the edibles are hitting me and I'm glued to my bed. I scarf down the breakfast and lazily graze my way through the doughnuts. In the past, I would have gone off to work and burned a lot of these calories I've ingested, but now I'm encouraged to stay in and not work by my feeder. Now, with my ass idle, the weight is piling on me.

On the weekends I don't leave my bed until Sunday night when I get weighed. As of last week I'm 210lbs (5'1"). My belly wobbles whenever I walk. My tits are two sizes larger, my ass is covered in cellulite, like a spoiled blob nested in blankets, constantly smoking joints and drinking beer.

I'm still very able to walk, but my feeder insists that I use a mobility scooter or get around by driving. This and my smoking habits make me huff and puff when I do minor tasks. They hate it when I use stairs or have to walk long distances. Last time we went to Costco to buy my weekly groceries, you bought me five hot dogs and a pizza as a snack while we shopped. I balanced the pizza box on my scooter's basket while l ate the hot dogs. Other shoppers judged my gluttony but I couldn't care less.

My feeder knows deep down that I'm actually a very lazy person. I don't like to work, think, or move if I don't have to. They adore how lazy I am, how my body has become pale, plump, and weakened from a junk-ridden diet and no exercise. They love to wait on me hand and foot and make me their queen.

#wg story #stoner feedee #queer feedee #queer feedism #extreme feedist #healthplay #weed kink #weed intox

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wonxlvr · 3 months ago

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High All The Time

you get me so high- the neighbourhood

— “your my best friend, ill love you forever.”

For @bywons ‘on ℴur 𝑙ove。✦ ’ event!! Go check out the other amazing writers :)

Pairing: stoner!heeseung x fem!reader || Word count: || 1K+ (1794) || Genre: LOTS of angst, fluff, second chance ||Warning: cursing, mentions of death, mentions of drug and drug usage, NOT PROOF CHECKED!

preview 🎬: The high school sweethearts, thats what you and heeseung were known for. Up until senior year when heeseung became a druggie, which took a toll on your relationship.

eve’s notes: STOP WHY DID IT TAKE SO LONG FOR ME TO MAKE THIS 😭 anyways its finally out so i hope yall enjoy 🙏 it feel like it couldve been better but its still pretty good IG…

You walked into school, usually with your boyfriend of 3 years but he ditched you to go smoking behind the school, yet again. You were wearing sweats and your Heeseung’s only good hoodie, the rest all reeked of substances and cigarette burns. You would’ve worn something more appealing, but you were too tired.

Heeseung used to be the sweetest boyfriend ever. You met him in your sophomore year through mutual friends and several classes you shared and instantly hit it off. Casual meet ups turned into dates, and on your 2nd date he asked you to be his girlfriend. To which you obviously said yes.

Up until senior year is when things fell apart, he hung out with a bad group of friends and ended up ditching you to go do drugs with them.

You never really had a problem with it until he missed almost every date because he was knocked out cold. You were deeply concerned for his health and well being, that being the core factor to all of your fights with him.

Heeseung came over to your place on the weekends, tripping over his own feet and smelled too strongly of weed.

“Babe, Again? I told you that you needed to stop” you said gently.

“Im sorry, i promise ill stop, baby.” He apologizes, slurring over his words. It was obvious he wasnt sincere with his words, but again, and again, like a fool, you fell for it every time. Thinking he would change.

As you walked hands in your pockets, pity stares were thrown your way but you tried not to mind it. You approached your locker and quickly got your stuff. You saw a glimpse of Heeseung and quickly stormed over to him.

“Baby, where have you been!?” You said in a huff. Heeseung covered his ears to show as if you were being too loud.

“Chill, i was just out back with chenle and the others. And stop yelling, you give me a headache.” Heeseung said as he held his hand up to his head.

You scoff to the side, “I thought you said you would quit?” You angered. Heeseung shrugged and walked pass you angering you more.

“Stop running from your problems!” You yelled from behind, he pretended not to hear you as he went to his friends.

Your eyes welled up with tears, but you blinked them away before anyone could see. You quickly walked to your next class half expecting heeseung to show up but as always, he never did.

You laid your head down and tried to nap. You were tired of him, tired of school, tired of everything. Luckily high school would be ending very soon, in less than a week.

Days pasted by faster than you expected, and graduation day came sooner than anticipated.

Heeseung agreed to have his focus solely on you on graduation day.

The night before the big day, heeseung came over and stayed with you the whole night. School had ended already and now the only event left was graduation day.

You both watched movies and ate snacks together. You were laying on heeseung and you felt his breaths get calmer and short sighs coming out every now and then. When you looked up, he was fast asleep and it was the cutest sight you have seen. You kissed his cupid bow shaped lips and you swore you’ve never felt more in love with someone in your life. Soon falling asleep on him.

Graduation day came and went, heeseung had suprised you with your favorite flowers and a beutiful necklace with an infinity sign to represent your relationship. You made a silent promise to never take it off, the necklace meaning a lot to you.

Hugs and pictures were exchanged throughout the day, the last day was overwhelming for almost everyone.

Jay announced a graduation party that night at his parents house since they would be gone for the week. Everyone was going so you thought why not go as-well.

That night, you did your hair pretty, did your makeup soft, and wore something simple as jeans and a black top.

You went with your friends and told heeseung to meet you at Jay’s place. You and your friends arrived a little later and you stayed with them for a bit until all of you heard yelling.

“y/n!” Jay called. You snapped your head to his direction with a questioning look.

“You need to come with me, your boyfriend is going crazy!” Jay exclaimed.

You got up from your sitting spot creating a domino effect and causing all of your friends to get up as well.

Jay signalled to follow him, and that you did like ducklings following their mother.

When you saw heeseung, he looked like he was on something and was yelling at someone.

“Heeseung!” You said, but your voice was drowned out from his yelling. You pushed yourself through the crowd until you were close enough to reach him.

Just as he raised his fist, you grabbed his hand and led him out the house.

When he saw you, his eyes softened and his demeanor shifted.

“Baby, what was that?” You questioned

“That guy was talking mad stuff you know i cant let that slide, love,” he spoke in a daze.

“Babe, what did you take” you said plugging your nose to stop the smell.

Heeseung shrugged and muttered something incoherent.

“What?” You asked

“Never mind.” He sighed

“No, tell me baby.”

“Just forget it!” He spoke louder.

“Tell me, what did you take?” You questioned inpatiently

“I said forget it, y/n!” He yelled in your face. You were taken aback from his outburst.

“Oh so its y/n now, huh?” You snapped.

“Look, just let it go” he scoffed.

“Hee, dont you get it? I care about you, just tell me!” You insisted.

“Fine, i just took a few tabs. You happy?” He mocked.

“tabs!? Heeseung what were you thinking! Thats dangerous, you could die!” You yelled.

“So what?” he said.

“so what!? Youre SERIOUSLY asking me that right now!? Heeseung, i love you too much to loose you. Please stop this addiction before it gets any worse.” You pleaded with him.

“I dont need you to dictate my life. Just stop telling me what to do!” He shot back.

You scoffed, “fine, you know what? I will. Heeseung, im breaking up with you.” You said, tears threatening to fall.

“What? Baby, you can be serious right now,” Heeseung argued.

“Dont call me that anymore, heeseung we are done. Dont even try to contact me.” You cried, tears already pouring down your checks.

“No please, y/n please! I cant go on without you in my life!” He begged.

“You said you dont need me, right? So theres that, now ill leave you alone.” You sobbed, you turned away as he tried to convince you to stay. you ran away from him wiping your tears with your wrist and quickly dialed your friends number with shaking hands.

“Y/n? Whats up?”

“Isa, i need you to come take me home right now,” you said in broken sentences.

You heard her cut the line of and within minutes she pulled up in front of you.

You got in the passengers seat as you cried uncontrollably. Isa tried to console you while still trying to keep her attention on the road. She drove you home and told you to call her whenever you need and drove away.

You ran to your bed to cry in your pillow. Your phone buzzed several times, all from heeseung. Hundreds of missed calls and hundreds more unread messages. You put your phone on silent as you cried loudly in your bed.

When you woke up, your pillow was still damp and it was bright outside. All of the event of that night came hurling to you like a bad dream, causing a major headache. You only wanted to crawl in your bed and never come out.

You checked you phone and under all the notifications from heeseung, was a miss call from jay. Confused, you decided to call him back.

“Hello?” You spoke in a rasp when he picked up.

“Y/N! I need you to come to the hospital, heeseung just got into a bad accident.” He said in a panic.

You didn’t believe it at first, you didnt want to believe it. But still you called up isa and told her to go to the hospital.

“What happened?” She asked while driving with speed but with efficiency.

“I broke up with him last night, and now jay told me he got into an accident. Now i feel like shit.” You said burying your head in your hands.

“Hey, hey, its not your fault okay? Me and the girls will always be here for you” she comforted.

“Thanks, isa. I love you guys so much,” you thanked.

“ No problem, now go get your man!” Isa said as she parked outside of the hospital doors.

You smiles and thanked her again before you dashed inside. You spotted Jay and ran up to him,

“Y/n! Heeseung got into a car accident last night, he is in that room but he’s unconscious right now, i thought you might wanted see him.” Jay said softly.

You nodded and went into the room jay pointed to. There you saw Heeseung on the bed, countless of machines and wires connected to his body. You held his unresponsive hand and broke down on your knees.

“Hee! Im so sorry, I shouldve never left you alone like that, i was too harsh. Please! Wake up, I cant imagine my life without you!” You sobbed, holding his hand to your forehead.

“Im sorry for being a bad girlfriend, im sorry for being a brat, im sorry for not looking after you more, im sorry for everything, im sorry i never said ‘i love you’ enough.” You said in broken sentences and several huffs of air.

“Please, heeseung. I love you so much,” you cried uncontrollably.

“I love you too, baby” the sudden voice scaring you

“Heeseung! Youre awake!” You hugged his neck close, never wanting to let go.

Once you backed up to give him space, he confessed to you

“Im sorry babe, its all MY fault. I shouldve stopped using substances a lot time ago. I was meant to be in the position, anyways.” He sighed

“Hey, its okay, but please promise me you wont ever touch a drug in your life again.” You pleaded.

Heeseung smiled softly up at you, “i promise, your my best friend ill love you forever.”

And with that, you passionately kissed him cause you were the only thing that could keep him high all the time.

TY FOR READING THIS FAR MAUHAH YAY LOVE YOU ALL ❤️

#wonxlvr #on ℴur 𝑙ove。✦ bywons #heeseung #enhypen #enha #lee heeseung #heeseung ff #heeseung fic #enha ff

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ebeane · 3 months ago

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Roommate! Dabi Blurb

(a bit suggestive)

You're in college and you had to share a dorm room with a boy because they ran out of girls and they didn't want to give you your own room because it was 'unfair'. You didn't really mind sharing a room with a boy tho, as long as you two didn't get into each other's ways then everything would have been normal. But fate had other plans. Your new roommate was called 'Dabi' or that's his nickname, he never truly gave you his real name. He was obnoxious, cocky, rude, and arrogant your typical fuck boy. Always bringing girls left and right sleeping with them in his room which was right next to yours. You found it annoying for the first month until you installed soundproof walls in your room making it less loud when you heard your roommate bring a new girl home again. You started to ignore Dabi a lot more than usual you couldn't care less about him anymore.

Dabi noticed this, he saw how you ignored him he would try to tease you sometimes or try to make you jealous by walking out of his room in his boxers and messy bed hair making it clear that he had just fuck another girl. But you don't even bat an eye, he wasn't used to this. Every girl on campus would try to get his attention 24/7, so he was shocked when this girl didn't even care about seeing him shirtless or in his boxers. He had become obsessed with knowing what you do every day and noticing little things about you, how he would seek your attention or little looks at him. Letting him see your beautiful eyes at least a bit.

One day you got a phone call from your friend who was crying to you about her boyfriend breaking up with her and that she really needed you. So you did the most reasonable thing and packed your bags to stay with her for as long as she needed it. When leaving dabi wasn't home, not like it matters you weren't planning on telling him where you were going, he didn't need to know, so you left. You stayed with her for a week, crashing in her dorm while still going to classes.

Dabi on the other hand started wondering where you had gone since he hadn't seen you in over 2 days, but then again why would he care not like he liked you at all. So dabi took advantage of this and had a huge party in the dorm inviting almost everyone on campus to the dorm to party. There was booze, drugs, smoking, dancing, every huge college party you typically see, since you weren't home he didn't need to worry about anything. He brought home multiple girls and fucked them all over the dorm not needing to care at all! But without knowing it dabi yearn for your presence, fucking any girl that looked or had the same hair color as you. Sometimes he would imagine how it was you he was pounding into, it was you he was fucking on his bed while you moaned his name out loud, it was you who was jumping up and down on his dick while you ride him on the couch. But he was always disappointed when he would look up and it wasn't your eyes staring back at him, he would usually kick the girl out once he got what he wanted. But in the end, it never was you, he didn't want to believe that he was actually falling for you.

After a week you came back to the dorm, stepping into the living room you saw how the whole place was a mess and everything was dirty. You scoff seeing how animal-like Dabi really was, you were right to think that the dorm was 100% dirty and a mess from all the parties he had that you heard about. So you put your bags and luggage in your room which you were thankful had locked before you left, it was a nice feeling returning back to your clean room a contrast to how the rest of the dorm was dirty. You start cleaning the whole dorm which took all day, it didn't cross your mind at all to wonder where Dabi was. After you finished you had a everything shower making you all clean and fresh again, you headed for bed thankful tomorrow was the weekend.

It was around 12 am when Dabi returned he was clearly drunk his friends Keigo and Jin had to come to drop him off. "come on dude your fucking tripping all over the place" Keigo said pulling Dabi up since he was limp and dizzy. "shhh baby girl we'll get to the bed soon" dabi says putting his fingers up to keigos lips shushing him. "Man, how many beers did this dude have! 'He's clearly done for'" Jin says opening up the dorm room. They pull Dabi up and make him stand telling him it is time to sleep, they help him inside making sure to tell him to lock the door as they leave. Dabi slowly locks the door stumbling a bit, he looks around seeing the place clean. He didn't clean? He thought to himself, maybe he was just super drunk and was imagining things. As he tries his best to put his keys on the key holder his eyes open wide. He sees your cute little bow keychain attached to your keys. YOUR KEYS! You were finally home! He almost stumbled on the floor as he took off his shoes and ran to your room. He opened the door seeing your body laying on your bed all angelic, god how he missed you. He slowly crawled onto your bed pushing the covers to grab you, hugging your legs burying his face into your plush thighs inhaling your scent.

You had stirred a bit because you were feeling some hot air on your thighs, as you slowly opened your eyes you saw messy dark hair near where your legs were. "D-dabi what are you doing!?" you say blushing red and grabbing his hair. "I missed you so much doll, you smell so good," Dabi says looking up from holding your thighs, he inches closer hugging your waist now while looking up at you with lovesick eyes. You look closer seeing his eyes not focusing at all, his breath was hot and smelled like booze. "Are you drunk Dabi? Come on you need to go to bed" you say starting to push him off of you. "please doll let me just hold you for tonight tomorrow you can scream at me all you want" Dabi says pushing his face against your stomach. You debate whether or not to kick him out, but the way he looks at you and hugs you makes you feel warm inside. You just decide to leave him, you get comfortable pulling the covers back up, and start caressing his hair slowly playing with it. But before you sleep you think about how you'll love teasing him in the morning you smirk just thinking about it before falling asleep.

(Shit man looking at this again this is more of a fic than a blurb 😭. Anyway hope you enjoy!!!) :))))

Should I make more?

#mha x reader #dabi imagine #dabi x reader #yandere dabi x reader #dabi smut #dabi x reader smut #yandere dabi #todoroki touya #toya todoroki #dabi todoroki #bnha dabi

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drdemonprince · 5 months ago

Note

Heyyo - autist here who’s still figuring out my physical and emotional needs. I use weed every day, and part of me has shame around this (as I am a “professional” and supposedly it’s “bad for you”, and it costs money) and the other part of me says “fuck it, there’s no moral value in not using drugs and you should do what you need to”. I guess I’m wondering what perspectives you can offer on this. I’m ruminating on it a bit lately and need some outside people to share their thoughts to get me out of that cycle. Thnx

I find that I am a lot more in tune with my bodily sensations and emotions when I am high, and that I find it easier to enjoy things and to chat amiably with random people when I'm high too. It makes life easier and more pleasant to such an extent that I wonder if I ought to smoke weed daily to medicate all my Problems and Difficulties and general irritation at of most aspects of existence. But then I don't. Because I get freaked out by the brain foggy weed hangover that drifts into the next day, and I assume that it will be bad for my writing to be high, and perhaps most of all, because I am terrified of building up a really high weed tolerance and then needing to use a ton to feel anything, or to even return to a baseline.

A couple years back I tried out vaping almost nightly for a few months, and it definitely reached a point where simply *not* being high felt like being anxious, it seemed, so I decided pretty quickly to reduce my weed intake. I don't like NEEDING any substance to function or to just feel okay. so for now I keep it to the weekends. I often think of using weed more often than that, and kind of want to, but i don't.

The research on chronic long-term weed use is quite encouraging! There are no cognitive or motivational downsides to using weed every day, or even multiple times per day. Conversely, there are many emotional and psychological benefits. @testdevice and I discussed the latest scientific research on the subject at length here:

youtube

There's really only one rub to the study's findings: people who use weed multiple times per day have a baseline lower mood than people who use weed frequently, but not quite that often. NOW THIS IS NOT A CAUSAL RELATIONSHIP. Chronic heavy weed use is not CAUSING people to be more depressed -- it simply seems to be the case that people who are chronically depressed are reaching more frequently for weed to cope with it.

The study shows weed use does raise mood including for members of that group, so there really is no serious drawback to using marijuana here!

But It does align with a finding that I've made in my personal life: the moments when I want to use weed the most frequently are when something in my life is completely out of wack. When I'm super overworked and stressed out, the temptation is to use weed as a way to down-regulate my anxiety, but what actually works far better for me is taking actual steps to reduce stress in my life. I COULD use weed for depression or for failing to find life activities enjoyable, and it works, but it's also worth asking myself which aspects of my life need to change so that I can feel less depressed and get through the day feeling okay. negative emotions are a signal that something in life is going wrong and needs to be fixed, and I do not want to ignore that alarm system.

Those are just some things to think about. Personally, I think that if you have some ability to make choices in your life that can improve your general circumstances, it's better to do that than to use weed to make a life that sucks a little more tolerable. But if daily weed use is helping make your life better or less hard, the weed itself is not the problem!

Lots of people determine that daily weed use has considerable benefits for them with relatively few costs. For me, using a couple times per week is what hits that sweet spot. but ymmv.

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midnight-talescape · 1 year ago

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𝐿𝓊𝓈𝓉 (𝒜𝓈𝓂𝑜𝒹𝑒𝓊𝓈 𝓍 𝒮𝓊𝒸𝒸𝓊𝒷𝓊𝓈 𝑅𝑒𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓇)

Kinktober Day 10: Machine + Praise

Okay why is Asmodeus actually a adorable lover tho? Why do I suddenly understood the appeal of him?!?!

Warning: fucking machine, ooc etc, etc you get the point not for kid

Genre: filthy filthy smut

Word Count: 2158

｡･ﾟ･｡+☆+｡･ﾟ･｡+☆+｡･ﾟ･｡+☆+｡･ﾟ･｡+☆+｡･ﾟ･｡+☆+｡･ﾟ･｡+☆+｡･ﾟ･｡+☆+｡･ﾟ･｡

You sat up from your bed, hunger burning through your body Reminding you that you haven't eaten in a while.

Sighing and getting up, deciding that you should probably get some food before going back to doing whatever you were working on, honestly, you can't remember.

You open your door only to see a giant demon outside grinning wildly, before you immediately tried to close the door on him.

Asmodeus stuck his hand into the room, stopping you from closing the door on him, before slipping into your room saying,

"Woah woah, calm down there doll face. No need to lock me out now.”

You sighed and pinched your nose bridge before asking,

"What do you want, Ozzie?"

Asmodeus walked into your room and lifted you onto his arm before saying,

"I just want you to test out a new machine for me, you're my favorite technician after all,"

You balanced yourself on his arm and looked up at him annoyed,

“You know damn well I don't work on the weekday, Ozzie.”

Asmodeus gives a shrugging gesture as he moves you closer to him. Your faces were inches apart as he said,

"Well, my dear, what if I told you I'd give you the whole weekend off from work? Besides, wouldn't you love to play with the latest machinery, I know you do."

Asmodeus tilted your face up towards him, leaning in so close it looked like he might kiss you, as he continued,

“Just a simple test run. It will be fun I promise, satisfaction guaranteed." Asmodeus grins, his fluorescent yellow eyes sparkling with excitement,

"What do you say, dearest?"

You sighed as you agreed, after all having the weekend off is a tempting offer,

“A quick test run, then I get next week off too,”

“You got it, dollface,” he said as he wrapped both of you in smoke, by the time it dissipated you were both in his home.

In front of you was a giant machine that looked like a saddle with two protrusions on it.

You stared at it for a second before saying,

“That's a fucking machine, that's just a fucking machine, I don't even think it's a new type…”

Asmodeus laughed before turning towards the machine. You could see how excited he was by the potential thrill it might bring his yellow eyes shimmered with anticipation as he looked at you.

"Oh, sweetness, this machine is sooooo much more than just a regular, boring, fucking machine. Trust me, there are a lot of surprises hidden in its mechanics. The pleasures you could eaen from doing this simple test, well… it'll catapult you into a realm of pleasure that most demons may never touch."

Asmodeus moved closer to you, his fluorescent yellow eyes staring at you hungrily, as he traced his fingers along your hip, and letting his warm breath flicker over your ear.

"And as always, I expect nothing less than earth-shattering pleasure. So give it your all, baby doll. You know how much I love the sight of you screaming and writhing in ecstasy."

Sighing you begin to walk toward the machine pulling your panties off on the way there, as you attempt to climb on the saddle.

Asmodeus's eyes darken and he licked his lip at the sight of your bare cunt on display, before walking to you and lifting you onto the saddle,

"I think it's time we get started, don't you?"

You bit your lip as you settled on the saddle, the two protrusions pressing perfectly against your two holes.

As you sat there Asmodeus's hand slipped under your dress and begin kneading your ass, his talon digging into your flesh as he placed a gentle kiss on your horn.

He whispered hoarsely, his voice low and intense, "You better believe what I've told you, little one, this machine will push you to your limits. It’s not just another toy for playing with, it's an inexhaustible source of torment and ecstasy. You will be begging for me to stop by the end of tonight, dollface…”

With that, he turned on the machine and your eyes flew open in surprise, as the protrusion opened up to two giant metal cock with what you're assuming is bumps, started thrusting inside you. You orgasm almost immediately, the cold metal a harsh contrast to your warm inside.

Grinning, Asmodeus hold your trembling body to the machine, making sure you can't get away as you begin to pant and moan, your body shaking from the intense pleasure as the metal cock thrusts inside you relentlessly.

His cock strained against the restraint of his pant as he forced your body down. Taking pleasure in watching your eyes roll to the back of your head, as your body convulsed and shuddered around the metal cocks. Your moans echoed through the dark room, making the air thick with lust.

“Darling," he started, his voice gentle, a stark contrast to how roughly he’s handling your body, “forget about the silly notion of work. Why don't we spend the entire week indulging in our wildest fantasies?”

With a loud cry as another mind-shattering orgasm ripped through you, you glared at him, your body shuddering from pleasure as you said,

“Y-you did this… haaa… on purpose… f-fuck… so full… t-this was ne-never about… gahhh… testing the machine…”

Asmodeus chuckled as he watched your body convulse from the mind-breaking pleasure. His phantom lips pressed against your neck, leaving a faint imprint of passion, as he spoke, an air of clinical amusement in his voice,

"Maybe I did, maybe I just want to watch you fucked stupid on my machine. But can you blame me? You look so beautiful when you’re fucked dumb, it's a shame I don’t get to see it more often…"

He placed kisses on your back as he remembered your protest against working on weekdays, he added smugly,

"Mind you, I'm keeping my promise. No work next week, just us creating some lustful memories together ~"

You let out a whimper as the metal cock started spinning inside you, the bumps on them hitting every single sensitive spot inside you. The cold metal slowly warmed up from your body heat as it brutalized your inside.

“Ozzie, f-fuck you… you are a fucking asshole…”

Asmodeus laughed as he wrapped his hand around your throat pushing your head back into his chest as he said,

“I have heard worst from your mouth before, doll,” his giant hand wrapped around your waist as he pushed down on the bulge that shows up as the metal cock thrusted into you, drawing a loud gasp from you, your eyes wet with tear as you panted, “And just look at how well you're taking this, doll~ Your body is meant for this..”

“S-stop… O-ozzie can't… too much… huahhh… s-stop…” you whimpered as your body was overstimulated, your tail curling around Asmodeous's hand as he pushed down on your stomach,

Asmodeus chuckled as he placed a kiss on your tail,

“Dollface~ I told you to work on your stamina, didn’t I? Your brethren can go on for days and here you are tired after only an hour…”

“Y-you know I’m not… a-as addicted to sex… FUCK!” You swore as the metal cock started sending electricity into your body, your body shaking as you squirted onto the saddle,

Asmodeus watched in amusement and kissed your forehead gently, as your body writhed and shook on the machine. The saddle wet and sticky with your secretion.

"What do you think we should do to improve your stamina? More frequent sessions? Less rest between them? Better lubrication perhaps? It's okay, baby doll~ we have all week to improve your stamina~”

You let out a choked sob as the machine drew out a final orgasm from you, before coming to a shuddering stop.

You leaned back onto Asmodeous’s chest shuddering, your body still sensitive from overstimulation.

Asmodeus carefully removed your body from the machine with a soft pop, before holding your trembling body to his chest.

He couldn’t help but feel a sense of sadistic satisfaction, when he saw the way tears fell down your face, but it was quickly overcome by his worry for you. Pushing down his sense of lust and ignoring his raging cock, he begins carrying you to his bedroom.

“There you go, sweet thing… you did so well for me, Let take you to bed okay?”

As he lay down in bed with you, your body managed to calm down. You look up at him with teary eyes,

“Are you.. are you gonna do anything about that?” you ask pointing at the raging erection he’s been having the entire time,

Asmodeus chuckles softly as he traces a finger over your stomach and covers your face with soft kisses.

"Oh, don't worry about that silly girl," he whispered, his voice carrying a mixture of tenderness and surprise at your question,

As he removed his coat revealing his body and heart-shaped nipple, he smiled down at you.

"Your comfort is more important to me right now, darling~”

You sighed before forcing your tired body up and pulling him into a kiss. His eyes widen at your sudden movements.

Asmodeus felt a faint blush creep onto his cheeks at your sudden and unexpected kiss, but he didn’t hesitate to kiss back and slipping his tongue into your mouth.

After a while you guys parted, panting he asked,

“I thought you don't do kisses, sweetheart, something about it being too affectionate and borderline romantic for a succubus like you?”

You sighed as you held his face in your hand,

“It's a reward for being nice to me… once I ignored the fact, you lied to me so you can watch me get fuck stupid.”

Asmodeus smiled fondly as he held your hand and kissed your fingertips affectionately.

“I just can't resist seeing your body trembling with pleasure, darling…”

You couldn't help but smile at the giant demon prince in front of you, he was a sweetheart despite being so powerful. Well, a sweetheart as far as you were concerned.

Flipping him onto the bed and climbing on top of him, you look down with a mischievous grin,

“Well I think we should first take care of your cock, big guy”

Asmodeus looked up at you both concerned and aroused,

“Are you sure about this sweet thing?”

You looked at his huge erection and hesitated before saying,

“Go big or go home?”

Asmodeus chuckled softly before carefully grasping your waist as his other hand slipped under your shirt grasping your boob gently as he ask again,

"Alright, sweetheart if you're sure. But remember, it's always you who calls the shots, okay?"*

You nodded before allowing him to move your body above his erection. Your body tensed as he pushed his cock inside you, letting out a painful gasp as your body was stretched open.

Asmodeus hissed softly as he felt your body clenched tightly around his cock. His grip on your waist tightened as he began thrusting his enormous cock into you, moaning loudly,

“You’re beautiful, darling~ So fucking beautiful when your tight little body is taking in my cock… Fuck! I need you!”

You whined loudly as you felt your inside being rearranged by Asmodeus's cock. Your hand slips onto his muscular ab as you try to hold your body steady.

Asmodeus's face contorted into a mix of pleasure and pain as you took his cock in, his fingers tracing over your spine and shoulders, as both of you get utterly lost in the pleasure and pain.

He swore under his breath, as he watch his massive cock thrust into you. His forehead was covered in sweat, and despite your pained sob he could see the pleasure in your eyes as he fuck you.

Eventually with a loud moan from both of you, he came inside you. Your body shuddered as he begin to fill you with his cum, until it was uncomfortable for you.

Panting he lifted your shuddering body off of his cock, his neon blue cum spilling out of you like a river. Holding you to his body again, he begins peppering you with kisses as he moans,

“You look so beautiful with my cum spilling out of you, taking my cock like a champ… fuck I love you…”

His body froze and his eyes widened as he realized what he said,

“W-wait, I mean-“

You buried your head into his chest sleepily as you covered his mouth with your hand,

“Shut up, Ozzie…” your tail curled around his waist, “…I love you too…”

Hearing your answer his face flushed and with a laugh that shook his large frame, he removed your hand before holding you closer to him, feeling a warmth in his chest for his silly little succubus.

"Sweet Dreams, baby doll," Asmodeus whispered as he let out a deep sigh. His heartbeat returns to normal as he finally closes his eyes…

#no i don’t have problems #reader insert #reader smut #x reader #kinktober #kinktober 2023 #asmodeus x reader #helluva boss asmodeus #asmodeus x you

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hauntedwizardmoment · 3 months ago

Note

GOOD EVENING. STARBREAKER!! this is so silly because I can't stop thinking about jace influencer au, but I did just get hit with a Vision of, like, a world where that AU is true but also the Plan is still happening. so as he gets pulled more into it (knowingly or unknowingly) jace's online presence/instagram/youtube channels or w/e slowwwwwly starts to devolve from poppy pretty sponsored idealized glamorized aestheticized content into a straight-up found-footage horror story.

CHRISTTTTTT.

like okay bear with me. a shift away from regular influencer au. jace is one of those teacher influencers. his normal content is like, stuff like this. it's fairly harmless, kind of corny, mildly funny. and as he gets a bigger following he starts doing more intimate/personal content. outfit of the day/day in the life, weekend vlogs (shopping spree in bastion city! massive spell component haul!), and crucially. talking about his relationship! his partner is his coworker, they met at work! they teach a party cohesion elective together and they co-advise the wild magic barbarians! it's sooooo cute, right?

and then porter starts appearing on camera and at first it seems super sweet, he's very gruff and not very camera-trained but he seems to really care for jace. but something like... changes. sometime in between jace's annual traditions of "halloween crafts week/decorate my classroom with me" videos and his "moonar yulenear break daily vlogs" people notice that like. jace seems a little more tired. more brittle. like he's always been performing but now it seems like every single smile is forced and fake.

sometime in the summer jace does a video addressing the comments and passes it off as burnout, he's had a difficult year because of the whole kalvaxus situation on top of some... personal issues. and his audience is like oh okay that explains it. but the tone keeps getting darker. jace posts fewer and fewer videos, his schedule goes from 3-4x weekly uploads to maybe one video every couple of weeks. slowly goes silent on all his other accounts. when he does make a video it's almost always with porter, and the way porter always has his arm around jace seems less "proud boyfriend" and more "possessive creep that's trying to keep jace from saying the wrong thing and exposing... something"

there's a conspiracy that it's all an ARG because of a bunch of "clues" in the background of jace's videos - including a jar of devil's honey on a kitchen counter that when pointed out leads to jace deleting the video entirely. this only adds fuel to the fire because what could he be hiding??

jace starts slipping up sometimes, letting on that porter's maybe. making him do something that he doesnt want to be doing. this is interspersed with strange, quasi-religious, creepy shit from porter during their vlogs. these are quickly deleted/edited out. but his audience is Concerned.

at some point. jace posts one last video called "Goodbye!" and it's a farewell to content creation as a whole for him. it's recorded in his classroom, porter's absent, jace seems almost like his old self again, he's smiling, and the sky behind him is bright red. if you look closely there are wisps of smoke visible. the tone and words are so fucking off, he's talking about seeing everyone in the "next life, a better life" if "everything goes as expected"

cue ragenarok, and cue reports that "aguefort sorcery teacher and influencer jace stardiamond was linked to a plot to create a new god of war"

#asks #jadeandquartzes #starbreaker

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something-tofightfor · 2 years ago

Text

Your Eyes Outshine The Town

Pairing: Joel Miller x female reader (Just Too Good To Be Gone pairing)

Word count: 9,586

Rating: M - language, light sexual content, but nothing graphic

Warnings: If you don’t want to know certain plot spoilers from The Last of Us, you shouldn’t read this.

Summary: Joel and Ellie’s first Christmas in Jackson is going to be special for a lot of reasons - even though the town’s celebration is a tradition you’ve become accustomed to over the years you’ve spent in Wyoming.

Author’s Note: An anon asked if I was going to write something for Joel for Christmas, and even though I said no and this isn’t what I *was* working on, it’s just as important. (That other piece will hopefully be ready to go for the premiere of the show, and it is SPICY).

This takes place about 7-8 months after Joel and Ellie return to Jackson, and a few months after Help Me Get Away From Myself.

Merry Christmas to all that celebrate - and to those that don’t, I hope you have a safe and happy weekend!

To get alerted when I post new chapters/stories, follow @somethingtofightfor-shares and turn on post notifications - you can also ask to be added to my tag list (link in bio or at the top of my taglist reblog)

Just Too Good To Be Gone Masterlist

Song Suggestion: “This Christmas” by Donny Hathaway

When he woke up to snow covering the ground in Jackson for the first time, Joel froze in front of the window in his bedroom, staring out at it.

It wasn’t that he’d never seen snow before; he’d seen plenty.

It wasn’t even that he hadn’t seen snow in Jackson before, because it had been spitting snow for the previous week - squalls that blew through the city, coating the remaining leaves and branches on the trees and bushes for a few hours before it dripped away, leaving everything damp.

But it was the first time he’d seen the undisturbed streets and sidewalks, the first time he took notice of the way that it covered the roof of the house across the street from him, thin wisps of gray smoke curling from the chimney in the early morning light.

And when he looked back over his shoulder at his bed - where you were sleeping on your side, one hand tucked beneath the pillow, blanket pulled up to your chin, he let out a slow breath, closing his eyes and nodding. This is life now. My life.

Instead of having to worry about what the snow used to mean - chilled, damp clothes and waterlogged socks from moisture leaking through hastily repaired boots, a lack of dry firewood, freezing nights spent huddled around whatever small source of warmth could be created - that morning, the snow only meant that the entire city would be a little slower… and that he could take it easy.

So on that morning - Joel’s first real snowfall in Jackson - he turned away from the window after giving it one last look and then climbed back into bed next to you, one arm slipping around your waist as he urged you back toward him.

You mumbled something, the man unable to make out what it was, but you settled your hand over his and squeezed, sighing out his name. “Couple inches of snow out there.” You sighed again, humming - and that time, Joel did catch your words.

“Knew it was coming.” You yawned, body stiffening briefly. “Go back to sleep, Joel. Just for a little while.”

You didn’t have to tell him twice.

—

That morning was the first of many snows throughout November and the beginning of December, and as the days got shorter and colder, the snow melted less between storms.

It turned the streets into slushy messes and the sidewalks into ice. It resulted in the need for either a fire to be lit constantly, or one of the multiple space heaters he owned to be plugged in and turned on - but he didn’t mind.

He didn’t mind because despite the chilly patrol routes and extra layers he had to put on, it was always worth it to come home to his house and see Ellie’s light on, to see smoke coming from the chimney in her roof - to know that she was alright, and that they didn’t have to repeat the previous winter. And we never do again.

But even the seven months that he’d been back in Jackson - the integration into the community and the gradual decrease of his anxiety over every moment of every day - hadn’t prepared him for the night he’d been heading toward the diner to meet you for dinner and he’d seen a large tree in the center of the square, multiple people working to put it upright. Is that a Christmas tree?

He’d stopped in his tracks again, blinking slowly as he watched men with power tools constructing a base around the trunk. It’s a damn Christmas tree. Making a mental note to ask you about it while the two of you ate, he shook his head and then stuffed his hands into the pockets of his tan jacket, raising his shoulders and ducking his chin below the collar of the coat.

—

“Of course it’s a Christmas tree, Joel.” You sipped from your coffee mug, the steaming liquid inside warming you as you swallowed. Wish it was coffee and not tea. “Didn’t Tommy tell you? He said that he was going to ask you to let Ellie know.”

“He didn’t say shit.” Joel leaned back in his chair, the remnants of his dinner - runny egg yolks and toast crumbs - smeared across the surface of his plate. “I was just walkin’ here and saw that they were puttin’ it up.”

“Yeah. Some of the guys hauled it back the other day. They pulled it down off the mountain behind my place.” You rolled your eyes. “Not like anyone’s been skiing there in a couple decades, so it might as well do something for this town.”

You watched the subtle twitch of his lips at your joke, but Joel didn’t say anything else, keeping his eyes on you. It was strange to you sometimes, to remember just how much of life in Jackson he and Ellie hadn’t experienced yet, and Christmas - likely his first safe Christmas season, and maybe Ellie’s first real celebration of the season entirely - was only the most recent thing you could think of.

“So you should tell Ellie. It’s nothing like old Christmas celebrations used to be, but she wasn’t… she won’t remember those likewe do.” Tightening your hands around the mug, you shrugged. “She might like it.”

“She’ll love it.” He reached across the table, fingertips sliding beneath yours and urging one hand away from the mug. You let him, twisting your wrist and pressing your palm to his. “Especially if there’s lights.”

“There are.” You grinned at that, eyes moving up from your joined hands to his face. “Not a lot of them, but there are lights. And since the tree’s huge, lots of kids make ornaments every year - out of pinecones and sticks and string and all that … and the night they turn it on, everyone hangs their ornaments.”

“What happens to ‘em?” You heard the interest in his voice and it made your heartbeat surge with happiness, like it did every time Joel let his guard down and indulged in moments of normalcy. “At the end of the season?”

“Most of the time they’re ruined. Jackson gets a lot of snow in the winter, as you can see.” You gestured toward the windows, indicating the softly falling snow outside, and he nodded. “But the ones that aren’t a mess? The kids can take them back if they want, but most of them don’t remember what they made, so…” You shrugged. “They just get tossed.”

“Do you want to tell Ellie?” He released your hand, drawing his back toward his body. “You are coming over tonight, right?”

“I am.” You’d been spending more time at Joel’s place ever since getting back from the trip to the cabins at the end of September, but since what you had was still new, you didn’t want to wear out your welcome. “Where’s she at right now?”

“Probably out somewhere with the kids she’s in school with.” He scratched the side of his neck. “She came home earlier this afternoon and dropped her stuff of and then ran off with that dark haired girl, Dina?”

“They’re probably at Dina’s house, then.” You took another drink. “If we head back now, we can get a fire going before it gets too cold in your place.”

“Yeah.” He stood, reaching for his coat and pulling it on, your eyes following his movement. “Even though when you say we I know you mean me.”

You stood, too, holding back a snort, and only a minute later, the two of you were making your way down the snowy street and back toward his house, both of you with your heads covered and ducked down.

Neither of you spoke much as you walked, hurrying toward your destination, but when you were safely in his front hall, the door shut behind you, you groaned, shivering as you took your jacket off again. He hurried into the living room and knelt down to light the waiting fire, and you followed, perching on the end of the couch cushions. “I only meant you because you’re so much better at starting fires than I am.”

“Yeah, sure.” He looked back at you over one shoulder, smirking. “You just like watching me like this.”

“You caught me.” Rolling your eyes, you tried to hide the surprise in your voice at the bold way he flirted with you - the action very uncharacteristic of Joel as you knew him to be, but something that was happening more as he spent each additional day in Jackson. “How can I resist you when you’re kneeling in front of a -”

“Anybody home?” You heard Ellie’s voice before you saw the girl, and even though you caught Joel’s flinch at the sudden sound, he relaxed quickly, turning away from you and back to the fire.

“In here, Ellie.” Leaning back, you crossed your legs at the ankle, still keeping your eyes on Joel’s broad shoulders. “Both of us.”

—

“Did you guys see that big tree?” He was still busy with the fire, coaxing the remaining embers from that morning alight with scraps of kindling, but he knew the girl was excited from the sound of her voice. “Dina said that Jackson’s Christmas is really cool, and that everyone goes, even the people that don’t celebrate. That means she’s going to be there too, with her family, and -”

“Slow down, Ellie.” Tiny flames licked at the wood, and once he was satisfied that they’d catch, Joel stood, brushing his hands off on his jeans. “Apparently my brother was supposed to tell me what was goin’ on, but he didn’t. I just found out about that tree a couple hours ago, too.”

“I’ve never celebrated Christmas before.” The girl plopped down onto the chair, leaving only the space next to you open. Oh, you little shit. “What’s it like?”

“Well.” You leaned in, putting your feet flat on the floor and resting one elbow on the arm of the couch as Joel sat next to you. “There are cookies. Lots of cookies. And some of the adults like to sing old Christmas carols. I was telling Joel earlier that a lot of the kids like to make ornaments to hang on the big tree, so you can definitely do that, too.”

He watched as the girl’s eyes widened, Ellie looking between the two of you in excitement. He loved seeing that expression on her face, and though he’d only had the opportunity a handful of times - seeing the sunrise on the way out of Boston, looking out and over a lake on the outskirts of Pittsburgh, and when they’d stumbled on the giraffes in Salt Lake City the three clearest in his mind - he looked forward to seeing it more often. And now I might get to.

“Are there presents?” You laughed at that, shoulders shaking as you leaned over and toward him, Joel’s arm going around you to steady your body. “Because I’ve read that -

“Yeah, Ellie, there are presents at Christmas.” Joel heard you clear your throat, the man’s eyes narrowing in anticipation of whatever it was that you were about to say. “But most of them are handmade - scarves and socks and clothes. Food, from the people that are really good at it.”

“What else would there be?” She blinked, frowning. “I mean, what else do people need besides -”

“Back before, Ellie…” He paused, thinking. “Christmas presents weren’t about the things you needed. People would buy stuff just because they thought someone else would like it, even if it wasn’t useful.”

“Like movies and music and video games.” You pointed to the shelves across the room. “That kind of stuff was what people wanted, to keep themselves occupied when they weren’t at work or in school.”

“Jewelry was another big one.” Joel smiled - showing teeth - as a memory came back to him. “I remember one year, Tommy was seein’ this woman. Had to be … I don’t know, three, maybe four years before everything changed?” Ellie leaned in closer, eyes wide and focused on him, and he felt you shift closer, your arm going around him. “And he wanted to get her somethin’ real nice for Christmas, so he tried to find a necklace for her.” Joel rubbed at his face with his hand. “And I shit you not, it was probably the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen in my life, had this big ol’ flower charm on it.” He paused, laughing. “He was so damn proud of it, and when he gave it to her for Christmas, we were all waitin’ to see what she’d say and …”

“And?” It was you that spoke up, fingers curling into the soft flannel that covered his ribs. “What did she think?”

“She loved it.” Joel scoffed and Ellie laughed hard, the girl’s giggle warming the room up even more than the fire already had. Oh, I love hearin’ that. “She didn’t take that goddamn thing off for months, and then when they broke up, he found it in his mailbox and smashed into pieces even though she was the one that ended it.”

“Was he mad” Ellie’s foot tapped on the floor, her hands gripping her knees. “Tommy? Was he -”

“No. See the damn thing was made of real gold, and so he took all the broken pieces and sold ‘em and then he and I went out and got drunk.”

It was a good memory - one of the last Christmas gatherings that they’d had as a family, a couple cousins and one uncle driving in from various parts of the state to celebrate, but he’d forgotten all about the necklace until that moment. Wonder if Tommy ever thinks about it. “People used to make Christmas lists, Ellie.” You spoke up again, Joel turning his head to look at you. “Put stuff on them that they wanted or needed so that if people were going to get them a gift, they knew what to look for.”

“Do you make lists here?” Ellie blinked slowly. “Since there are presents?”

“Some of the kids do. They put things on them like toys and books and clothes and so a couple weeks before Christmas, someone takes all those lists and goes through what we’ve got in storage to see if anything fits. It’s not always exactly what they asked for, but usually … usually we can get something for everyone since we have so much stockpiled.”

“I didn’t know that.” Joel’s voice was quiet, and when you met his eyes and shrugged, he knew immediately that you were one of the ones that did the searching, even though you hadn’t told him as much. “That’s real nice.”

“Yeah. And it works out for the kids that don’t celebrate Christmas, too. The tree in the center of town is a Christmas tree, and no one would ever say otherwise, but it’s just sort of become … a symbol of the holidays in general. Warmth and comfort and happiness and all that.”

“Makes sense.” He gave you a small smile - and a single nod of his head before turning his attention back to Ellie. “So yeah. I guess we get to celebrate Christmas this year, kiddo.”

“Cool.” Her smile lit up her face, eyes brightening. “So when is it?”

“The lights will go on in a couple days, but the town celebration is December 23rd.” You sat up straight, Joel watching as you adjusted the hem of your shirt. “So you’ve got some time. And,” you continued, turning your attention to him. “Since this is the first Christmas here for both of you, if there’s anything you can think of that you want or need… let me know.” There was another pause and then you kept going, Joel barely able to conceal his laugh at the glint in your eyes. “Because I can put in a good word with Santa Claus.”

Ellie, on the other hand couldn’t stop herself from laughing and the two of you joined her moments later, Joel pulling you against his chest and kissing the top of your head.

He hadn’t given Christmas much more than a passing thought in years - but as he sat in his cozy living room, laughing with the two of you, he knew that it wouldn’t be the case that year.

–

“We’re going to be late if we don’t hurry up.”

Ellie was nearly bouncing up and down as she waited for you to pull your coat on, the girl bundled up in a thick jacket of her own, along with a hat and a pair of gloves sticking out of one of her pockets. “I’m coming. It’s fine, though. We won’t be late.”

“What took you so long to get back? I thought you didn’t work today.”

“I didn’t. Someone took my shift so that I could make sure everything was done for tonight.” You’d gotten sidetracked checking names on the gifts that had been collected, making sure that no one was left out, and before you’d realized it, it was an hour until you were supposed to leave. “Took me a little longer than I thought it would.”

“Joel’s probably already there. He left hours ago for Tommy’s. Radioed over to make sure I was going to leave on time, and - “

“Well you did.” Smiling at the girl, you picked up your own walkie, pressing a button on the side. “Joel? If you’re still at Tommy and Maria’s, we’re getting ready to leave now. See you in a few.”

It took a few seconds for his response - a quick ‘Gotcha. See you soon’ - but as soon as he’d spoken, you and Ellie headed for the door, the girl walking next to you with her hands stuffed into her coat pockets. “Did you ask for anything this year?”

“No.” It was the truth - sort of. You’d hinted to one of the bakery girls that it would be great to have an extra loaf of sourdough so that you could make Joel and Ellie a nice breakfast on Christmas morning, and you’d put your name on the list for a replacement space heater, but aside from that, you hadn’t thought of anything else that you needed. Because I’ve got exactly what I want. “What about you?”

“You already looked at my list.” She glanced up at you and adjusted the straps on her backpack, waiting a few seconds. “I know you did, so -”

“Yeah, but I mean … did you mention anything to Joel? To Cat or Dina? To Maria and Tommy? Anything that you didn’t put on that list?”

“No. I didn’t… I didn’t want to ask for anything because it feels… weird.” You understood where she was coming from - and needed her to know it.

“My first Christmas here was like that, too. I didn’t want to ask for anything because it just felt… weird. The world’s gone to shit, and I’m asking for presents, you know?” She nodded, quickening her steps as you reached the corner of Kelly and Cache, making a right and going north toward the center of town. “It’s ok to want things, Ellie. You’ve had a tough year and a half, and I know that you’ve been through a lot more than most of the kids that grew up here, but you do still have a couple years til you’re an adult.”

“I’ll remember that for next year.” She reached out and squeezed your hand, keeping hold of it briefly. “Why do you think Joel didn’t want to walk with us?” You had your theories, but didn’t want to mislead the girl - even unintentionally, and so you just shrugged, urging Ellie to walk faster.

“There’s hot chocolate, Ellie.” You fell into step with a few other residents of Jackson as you got closer to the center of town, your eyes focused forward and waiting for the first glimpse of the massive tree and booths set up around it. “Hot chocolate and cookies and music. And sometimes, someone’s doing magic tricks and -”

“Last year at Christmastime I thought Joel was going to die.” She let out a shuddering breath and stopped walking, turning to face you. “And this year we’re here and we’re celebrating, and it just seems so… so fucking wrong, and -”

“Ellie.” You stopped, too, and then stepped closer, crouching down so that you could look her in the eye. “He didn’t die. You kept him alive. And you keeping him alive meant that he ended up bringing you back here. And yeah, I know it’s a lot to take in, especially when you grew up in a place like Boston and haven’t ever experienced this before.” She nodded, her wide eyes glistening with tears. “I’ve told him this so many times, and now I’m going to tell you. There is nothing wrong with letting yourself experience life when you have the opportunity to.”

“But -”

“No. Ellie, you’re here. You’re alive. You’re surrounded by people that care about you. You get to be a teenager. It’s not wrong. You don’t need to feel guilty. That’s why we’ve worked so hard to make things in Jackson as normal for everyone as we can.” Reaching out, you laid a hand on her shoulder. “And that means for you, too.” You couldn’t imagine what those weeks had been like for Ellie and Joel, or what had gone through the girl’s mind during them - but you didn’t want her to dwell on the past. Not now. Not tonight. “If you ever want to talk about it, I’m here. But tonight … don’t think about any of that, alright? You two deserve this.”

“I… I can try.” She sniffed, using the back of her sleeve to wipe at her nose. “For him.”

“No.” You stood, hand still on her shoulder. “Don’t try for him, Ellie. Do it for yourself.” You watched her for long seconds and saw the look in the girl’s eyes change from sadness and apprehension to one of resolve, her shoulders squaring.

“Yeah. Ok.”

—

He was waiting for the two of you on one of the benches just outside the square, and Joel was doing something that he hadn’t had much time to do in years: people watching.

There were people in Jackson that he hadn’t ever met, but for the most part, Joel was able to place each person that walked by - some of them raising their hands to wave at him, others giving him a single nod of their chins as they hurried past. But each of them had a look on their faces that he hadn’t seen in such abundance since before the outbreak. Happiness. They’re all… happy.

And he supposed that he was happy, too - content and satisfied in a way that still seemed foreign to him on most days. But it was easier as more time passed, and he was stunned to realize that he didn’t feel like he had to be on alert at every moment - even when he was out in the open and exposed in the way he was while sitting on the bench.

But it was more than that - he didn’t feel his heart twist in his chest when Ellie was out of sight anymore, and he often found himself leaving his house without a weapon, the only thing in his pocket his house keys.

The rate at which he’d settled into life in Jackson had stunned him - and he knew that meeting you had been a major part of it. But also.. The way Ellie took to her helped, too. He still had his days - just like anyone - but while a year ago he would have thought it impossible that he’d be in the position he was currently, Joel found that he had nothing to complain about.

That realization was reinforced when you and Ellie came into view, the girl’s head covered by a dark knit cap and yours shrouded with the large hood of your jacket. She was walking close to you, and for long moments, he did nothing but watch, making note of the way that the girl looked up at you, her cheeks rosy from the cold - and of the way you paid attention to not only what she was saying but also your surroundings, never focusing on one thing for too long.

Unlike many people in Jackson, you hadn’t completely let your guard down despite how often you reminded him that it was safe within the walls, and he appreciated it. You looked out not only for yourself, but for the people that you were with, and when people meant Ellie? That was worth everything to Joel.

He pushed off of the bench and made his way toward you the two of you, weaving through everyone that was milling around. “Hey, you t-” The words caught in his throat when Ellie broke away from you and sprinted toward him, throwing her arms around his body and pressing her cheek to his chest. What’s goin’ on? “Ellie?” He hugged her back, the action almost automatic in a way that he hadn’t ever believed would be possible again, and when he felt her trembling in his arms, he looked up at you, brow furrowed.

You shook your head, mouthing the word “later” and he understood immediately, his hands moving from Ellie’s back to her shoulders. She let go a few seconds later and then took a step back, drawing in a long breath as she tilted her head to look up at him. “Sorry. I’m gonna go find Dina and Jesse. Bye!”

She darted off, leaving the two of you standing a few feet apart. “What in the hell was -”

“She feels guilty about being here.” Stepping closer, you reached up, touching his stomach with one gloved hand. “After what you went through last winter.” Oh. “And about more than that, too, but you were the first thing she brought up, and I think it’s … it’s overwhelming for her.”

“I’m sure it is. It’s overwhelmin’ for me, too.” Nodding sympathetically, you gave him a tight smile. “Should I go find her?”

“Nah.” Closing the final distance between you, you leaned in to press a kiss to his cheek, the tip of your nose cold against his skin. “Just let her find her friends. She’ll be alright. And I’m sure seeing you here tonight with me and Tommy and Maria will help.” He hummed in reply, unwilling to let you go - and you didn’t seem to mind.

“Can’t take you two anywhere, can we?” His brother’s voice from behind him startled Joel, the two of you separating, though he kept his arm around your shoulders. “Always gotta be right next to …” He trailed off as Maria took her place beside him, the man wrinkling his nose. “Alright, I guess I have no room to talk.”

“You don’t.” You put your hand on your hip, leaning into Joel’s side. “I’ve seen the two of you Tommy Miller, and Joel and I aren’t anywhere near as bad.”

“She’s not lying.” Maria winked at him, and Joel’s smile grew, the man’s posture loosening. “Good to see you here, Joel.”

“Wouldn’t have missed it.” Clearing his throat with a cough, he looked around the square, his eyes lingering on the tree. “Never would have heard the end of that from any of you.”

“Got that right, big brother.” Tommy was smirking and Joel rolled his eyes, the four of you heading over for the hot chocolate table, each of you grabbing a cup of it. “Don’t tell anyone.” Tommy waited til you were a few feet away before reaching into the interior pocket of his jacket and pulling out a flask. “Got the good stuff.”

You held out your drink just as fast as Maria did, Joel joining shortly after, and once all of your cups had been sufficiently spiked, Joel was surprised to hear the other man clear his throat and ask everyone to raise their cups. “What’s this, Tommy? I thought it was Maria’s turn to -”

“Told him he could have this one.” Maria’s voice was quiet, and he watched her slip one arm around Tommy’s waist, tucking herself under his arm. “Go ahead, Tommy.”

You moved closer, and Joel watched as you raised your cup and then looked at him expectantly, not breaking eye contact until he’d lifted his hand an acceptable amount, too. They’re all in on this, whatever it is.

“To another year in Jackson.” Tommy paused, glancing down and then back up, his eyes locking with Joel’s. “To the first Christmas with my brother in … too goddamn long.” He sucked a breath in, eyes widening, and Joel knew that you felt him stiffen, but the slow movement of your hand over his back never stopped, the motion soothing him even though Tommy’s words caught him off guard. “To all the things none of us ever thought would be possible again.”

There was more that Tommy wanted to say, but Joel saw him falter, heard the tremble in his voice, and so with a single nod, he pushed his cup forward and clinked the edge of it with Tommy’s, you and Maria joining in before all four of you sipped the drinks. Shit, I wasn’t expectin’ that.

You took the cup from him without him having to ask, and once Maria had done the same from her husband, Joel moved forward and wrapped his arms around Tommy, hugging him as tightly as was possible through their thick jackets. Damn, I really wasn’t expecting this. They stayed locked in an embrace for a long time, Joel’s heart pounding, and when Tommy straightened up, he was barely holding his tears back, lips pressed together in a tight line. “Won’t be the last, Tommy.”

“It better not be.” You cut in, leaning closer. “Kinda like having you around, Joel Miller.” I like being around. That was all it took - and Joel didn’t miss the silent acknowledgement Tommy shot you, or the way his chest rose and fell when he took a deep breath after taking his cocoa back from Maria. “We’ve got what, twenty minutes before this starts?”

“Yeah.” Maria checked the clock, nodding. “I’ve gotta give my little speech in about twenty, and then we pass out the presents.” She sipped her drink as the four of you walked closer to the tree, more people nodding hello as you passed. “And then the party starts. The little kids are gonna sing for us, so …” She trailed off, clearing her throat. “So we’ll see what happens.” Smooth, Maria.

You split off from them a minute later, tugging on Joel’s arm as you pulled him off in the direction of Ellie and her friends, but you stopped short of reaching them, the two of you taking a seat on a different bench. “Just wanted to give you a minute, Joel. After the Ellie hug and Tommy’s toast, I thought … well, I thought you needed it.” You put your hood down before turning your head to look at him.

“I do.” He leaned in, lips finding your temple. “Thank you.” You didn’t say anything in reply, but you did lay your head down and against his shoulder … and despite the fact that Joel wasn’t used to being so open with affection in public, he had to admit that with you, it was growing on him.

—

The time that the two of you had sitting on the bench was cut short when Ellie ran up, Dina and Jesse in tow. She stood in front of you, her hands on her hips. “Can we stand together?” She wet her lips. “For the presents, I mean?”

“Of course, Ellie.” The words rumbled through him, and even with the layers separating you, you could feel his chest moving, the man nodding at the girl.

You loved seeing them together - loved watching as their relationship changed in front of your eyes, and even though the moments earlier had been difficult, they were proof that being in Jackson was the right thing for both of them. They could still be out there. Still be … alone. He would have taken care of her, you were certain of it, but you knew what could happen, and that you didn’t want to even entertain the thought of it happening to them.

Making your way over to where the crowd was gathered, you took your places near the front, Joel’s hand holding yours tightly, Ellie on his other side. Dina and Jesse stood close, the three teenagers talking quietly between themselves.

As you scanned the crowd, you were struck again with how normal things felt - and even though it was only for one night, it made you smile. There were still people guarding the walls, still people out on patrol - even more ready and waiting to spring into action on a moment’s notice … but inside the walls of Jackson, you could forget about that for a few hours here and there. And we do. And it’s what keeps us … going.

Squeezing Joel’s hand tighter as Maria moved to stand in front of the tree, Tommy a few feet away with his hands behind his back, you grinned at your friend, giving her a nod. “She’s going to make this short, Joel. She hates public speaking.”

“Not as much as my brother.” Joel snorted, the sound quiet. “No way.”

Maria opened her speech by thanking everyone for coming and making a few general announcements - that snow removal duty lists were posted in the community center, that hours would be changing in some of the stores to coincide with the colder days and decreased amount of light, that the food pantry was going to be freshly stocked early in the new year, and that typical amounts of things were expected.

You were used to these announcements, and so while she spoke, you watched Joel, the man taking it all in with a look of surprise on his face - which you understood. You’d heard about Boston and rationing from Tommy. You understood shortages and fighting for supplies - and you’d only had to do it for two years while Joel and Tommy had done it for many. Just another thing to love about this place, Joel.

You gripped his hand tighter, Maria’s words changing into the holiday portion of the night. She reminded everyone that while the Christmas tree was the focal point of the celebration, it was not the only winter holiday that the residents of Jackson celebrated - and that the night was meant to honor those traditions too, both through food and other decorations that were placed around the plaza. “And it doesn’t matter what holiday you’re celebrating, there’s never a bad time for a present, right kids?”

A chorus of cheers erupted around you, and like many of the people in the crowd, you clapped and laughed along with them. Maria thanked you by name along with the others that had acted as Santa’s elves to make sure everyone’s wishes were granted, and at that, Joel released your hand and wound an arm around your shoulders, pulling you as close as he could while Ellie leaned forward and beamed at you. “It’s no big deal,” you whispered, cheeks burning. “I just like doing it.”

“It is a big deal and you know it.” He murmured the words into your ear, voice low. “Take some credit for once.” Alright. Agreeing with a nod, you settled back into place as Maria called out names a few at a time, the children of Jackson walking up to take their gifts from her.

Ellie, Dina, Tara and Jesse were called as a group, and you caught the surprise in her eyes as she turned back to face you. “I didn’t ask for -”

“Go.” Gesturing with your chin, you winked. She made her way to the front of the crowd and took the box from Maria, stepping back to where you and Joel were standing, her lower lip caught firmly between her teeth.

“You gonna open it?” Joel shifted on his feet, curiosity in his tone. “Probably should. It is a -”

“Yeah, I’m…” She frowned. “This is my first ever Christmas present, so …” It made your heart thump in your chest, and while she was focused on the gift in her hands, you and Joel shared a look, a quick shake of your head enough to keep him from speaking. You both had gifts for her to open on Christmas morning, but you didn’t want to ruin the surprise. “Who’s it from?”

“Think of it as being from Jackson, Ellie. It’s not from one specific person.” You leaned forward. “But I did pick it out.” That was all it took, the girl tearing open the paper to reveal a brightly colored box, one hand pulling the lid off while the other held it steady.

“Oh, cool!” She grinned up at you, the smile wider than you’d ever seen it on her face. “Art supplies? This is …” She swore under her breath, looking down at what she held in her hands. “Pens and pencils? New notebooks?” She went quiet, staring into the box, and when she looked up at you, it took everything in you to keep your composure. “Thank you. Thank you so much, I… damn this is cool.”

“You’re welcome, Ellie.” Reaching over, you squeezed her shoulder. “Just make sure you have fun using them, alright?” The girl assured you that she would and then turned around to show Dina and her other friends her present, the four of them talking excitedly about what they’d received. “That went well.”

“You made her night.” He turned to face you, setting his hands on your shoulders. “Thank you.”

“Of course. Anything to make her smile.” He stared at you for a few seconds and then leaned in, kissing you on the forehead. “What was that for?”

“I’m gonna have to leave you here for a little while. I hope that’s alright.” He stepped backwards, watching you with slightly narrowed eyes. “Stay here with Ellie?”

“Where else would I go?” He didn’t say anything, turning away from you and stopping next to the girl, leaning over to say something into her ear. You watched with curiosity, and when Ellie stepped next to you again a few seconds later, her eyes bright with excitement, you knew that something was up. “What’s going on, Ellie?”

“Don’t worry about it.” You opened your mouth to speak but she cut you off, opening the box she held again and pulling one of the notebooks out. “What should I draw first? I thought maybe I could go to sketch the horses in the stables, but I’ve already done that, and …”

She was distracting you and you knew it, but you let it happen, inching closer to the girl and suggesting a few other things for her to draw - the mountains, the town square, some of the people in Jackson, Ellie jotting down a few ideas on the first page. “You know, it’d be easier for you to hold that if you put everything else in your bag.” You tapped her on the back. “Why did you bring this anyway?”

“I didn’t know how long we’d be out and I wanted a place to put my gloves and hat so I wouldn’t lose them.” She glanced up at you. “Habit, I guess.” That makes sense. “Will you help me?” You nodded, unzipping her backpack and then taking the box from her, leaving the girl holding only the notebook and a pencil. As you tucked the box into the empty pocket and zipped it, you heard the crowd cheering again, your gaze raising from her to the space in front of the tree - where Joel was standing, holding his guitar, Tommy and Maria next to him. “Surprise.”

“Ellie, what -” You watched as the younger kids began to make their way toward the front of the crowd, Tommy and Maria talking to the second man, whose fingers were wrapped around the neck of the guitar, flexing every now and then. “Ellie, is he -”

“Just watch.” She pulled on your hand with one of hers, and you stepped through the crowd, too, breath caught around a lump in your throat.

You’d heard him play before - the man’s nimble fingers strumming notes on his porch and at Tommy and Maria’s, occasionally joining in with his voice, too, but you’d never known him to play for more than a few people at a time. And nearly everyone’s here tonight. “We can’t do anything about the singing,” Maria started, her eyes crinkling at the corners as she smiled. “But Joel’s agreed to play as a live backing track for a few of the carols tonight, if everyone’s alright with that.”

The kids cheered and some of the adults - including Tommy and Maria - clapped, but it was Ellie’s whistle from right next to you that carried the loudest, Joel’s eyes snapping immediately to her - and then to you, his gaze focused but also a little smug.

Maria slid the microphone into the stand and then lowered it, pushing it in front of Joel, who slung the guitar’s strap around his neck, getting it into position.

The first notes rang out over the square - Jingle Bells - and the crowd immediately joined in. But you couldn’t take your eyes off of Joel, watching as he moved his fingers over the frets and strings without lifting his head, the crown of it - and his thick dark hair illuminated by the lights on the tree. For the first time in nearly 20 years, you didn’t join in with the carol singing, one hand lifted to cover your mouth instead. “Are you ok?” Ellie nudged you. “Is this a -”

“Ellie,” You turned your head as the song ended, Joel finally looking up and giving a single nod. “He’s here because of you right now.” She sucked in a breath as he started another song - Frosty the Snowman - the man lowering his head again as he played. “Remember that, OK?”

“Yeah.” The girl sniffed and then nodded. “Yeah, he is.” You returned your attention to Joel, making note of the set of his shoulders and the way he didn’t fumble a single note, even in the cold.

He played a couple more - short ones like We Wish You A Merry Christmas and Deck The Halls, and then took a pause, looking up and inhaling deeply. His eyes landed on you and you nodded, gloved fingers of one hand pressed to your lips. “This is gonna be my last one.” He cleared his throat, while still strumming, his voice audible through the mic even though it was quiet since it was positioned so low. “It’s about a reindeer named Rudolph.”

The kids cheered again, and when Joel started playing the actual song, it didn’t take them long to nearly drown him out with their voices. About halfway through the song, you watched his fingers falter, though he caught himself almost immediately. But then, out of the corner of one eye, you watched as Tommy turned away, bringing one hand up to wipe beneath his eyes. What’s going on?

Joel finished the song and then pulled his hand away from the strings, fingers curling into a loose fist, and you watched as he steadied himself by taking a deep breath, chin still tucked to his chest. The rest of the crowd was busy clapping and cheering, so they didn’t see Joel raise his hand in the same motion as Tommy - but you did - and so did Ellie. The girl said your name and you turned toward her, uncertain. “Why is -”

“I have no idea, Ellie. I’ll go find out though.” She glanced down at her notebook - a quick sketch of a man and a guitar visible on the page - and then back at you.

“OK. Let me know if he needs anything. I’m gonna go and work on this.” Telling her you would, you made your way toward where Joel had moved off to, partially out of view next to the tree, Tommy close by.

You didn’t want to interrupt, but when you heard what your best friend’s husband had to say, you didn’t need to.

“Haven’t heard you play that in 20 years. Not since the last Christmas with Sarah.”

—

He’d almost made it through - almost, but then his fingers had started playing Rudolph, and he hadn’t been able to stop them. It hit him harder than he’d expected, the familiar notes coaxed out with the picking of his fingers, and even though he’d heard the crowd singing along, he hadn’t really heard them, the memory of Sarah and Tommy’s voices joining his in front of a well-lit Christmas tree in a previous life had been all that he could focus on.

He took a moment when the song ended, catching his breath, and then nodded once at the crowd before he headed for the side of the tree and found Tommy standing there, the man’s eyes rimmed with red. “Fuck, Joel.”

“Yeah. I know.” There was nothing else to say, and so he waited, pulling the guitar from around his neck and gripping the neck of it as he held it by his side.

“Haven’t heard you play that in 20 years. Not since the last Christmas with Sarah.”

He heard your gasp at Tommy’s words, and when both men looked your way, Joel’s chest got tight at the sight of your expression - eyes wide and your body rigid. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to intrude.”

“You’re not.” Joel spoke, taking a half step toward you. “Not even close.” You moved toward him and though you were hesitant, you reached for his hand, Joel looking down as you took it. For once, your hand looked bigger than his, encased in the thick gloves you wore, and it made him smile, though the expression was gone only a few moments after it appeared. “Tommy’s right, though. Used to play Christmas songs for us after we opened presents. Rudolph was … was her …”

“It was her favorite.” Tommy cleared his throat, moving closer, and Joel only nodded again, fighting back tears. “So Joel always played it last because he knew she’d go nuts adding in all the little … whatta you call them? The extras?” He laughed. “Like a lightbulb and like Monopoly?”

“We used to do that, too. Right after ‘Santa came to say’ it was always the biggest, loudest ‘ho ho ho’, and -”

“Yeah.” Joel interrupted, tightening his hold on your hand. “It was.”

“It was good to hear it again, big brother.” Tommy cleared his throat and reached out, clapping a hand on Joel’s arm. “Real good.” He pointed with his free hand at the front of the tree, where the crowd had started singing again, led by Maria and a few of the other women. “But I’m gonna go sing with my wife now, if that’s alright.” Yeah. Yeah, it is.

He nodded in reply, and when Tommy had brushed past you, telling you to have a good night, it was just the two of you left - and he didn’t know what to say. You knew about Sarah. You knew what losing her had done to him, and you never pushed him to talk more than he wanted to about her. But tonight, I want her to. I want her to … “Did you sing for her, Joel?” Still holding his hand, you led him over to the bench next to his guitar case. “Not just for Christmas, but … when you played?”

“I did.” It was the right question - and one that he was more than happy to answer, Joel nodding as he zipped up the case. “Started out when she was little - I’d sing her nursery rhymes, the ABCs… all of those. When she got older, we’d sing songs on the radio together. She could play a little by the time she was eight or nine, and it was…” He sat back up, sniffling and wiping his nose with the back of one hand. “It was nice to have somethin’ we both liked.”

“You took her to concerts, right?” He nodded. “Bet that was fun.”

“It was.” He looked up, the clouds all but gone and the moon and stars shining brightly. “We’d try to go to one every time a band she liked came through Austin. Took her to see shows at the fair sometimes, too.”

“I miss the fair.” You leaned your head against his shoulder, sighing. “All that food? The games?” That got a short chuckle out of him, Joel nodding as he rested his cheek on the top of your head. “Who was her favorite?”

“Can’t remember the name now. Something Drops. Was the last show we saw together before it all happened.” It was easier to talk with you about Sarah than he thought it would be, but even though that was the case, he felt his breaking point rapidly approaching. “Sorry I didn’t tell you about tonight. I didn’t know … I didn’t want to get your hopes up and then back out last minute.”

“It’s fine. I’m really glad you played. It was nice to see. And hear.” The crowd was beginning to disperse, everyone breaking away from the main tree and heading for the booths that surrounded it, and Joel figured that it wouldn’t take long for Ellie to find the two of you.

You shivered next to him and Joel hummed your name, waiting until you sat up to look at him. “There anything else to stay here and see?”

“Not really, no. People are going to start heading home soon. It’s cold as shit, and once the singing’s done, it’s just socializing.”

“We should get going then.” He looked down, eyes on his guitar case. “Want to get this back into the house.” He stood and reached out to take your hand but you surprised him, bending down and grabbing the strap of the case, rising to your feet and sliding it over one shoulder. “I can carry that.”

“I’ve got it, Joel.” He opened his mouth to protest, but you shook your head, giving him a soft smile. “Let’s go find Ellie.”

—

Two hours later, the three of you were back at his house, Ellie tucked into her garage for the night and you sound asleep in his bed. But even though he’d taken you to bed - the sex slow and gentle, more roaming hands and lingering mouths than anything else, Joel was wide awake.

So he slipped out of bed, kissing your temple and coaxing a quiet sigh from your lips before he turned the space heater on and headed downstairs, pulling his boots and jacket back on. His guitar was leaning against the wall in his entryway and he grabbed that, too, carrying it onto the porch and lighting the lantern before he sat down.

He plucked a few notes once he was settled, but his eyes were trained forward - the man staring out at the street in front of him, on the single light in the neighbor’s upstairs window, and then, finally, on the stars again, his fingers picking up speed as he continued to play.

The notes carried out into the still night air, and even though he wasn’t playing anything in particular, Joel felt himself relaxing, the weight of the emotion from playing in front of the town and playing Sarah’s song bleeding out of him.

He wasn’t surprised when, a few minutes later, he heard the door open and you stepped out onto the porch, blanket wrapped around your shoulders. “Didn’t mean to wake you.

“It’s alright.” Shrugging, you lowered yourself onto the railing, bracing your back on the support beam. “Unless you’d rather I go back inside.”

“No.” He played another note and then pulled his hand away, raising it to scratch the back of his neck. “No, stay.”

And you did, leaning back and staying quiet, content to listen to Joel strumming the guitar in the frigid darkness. He was content, too, the man humming under his breath as he played, the creaking of the rocking chair he sat on quiet enough so that the music drowned it out.

But when he switched to a different song and started singing along as he played, he heard your sharp intake of breath, watching the way you leaned forward as he brought his gaze in from the horizon to meet yours.

It wasn’t one that he played often - and because he’d wanted to keep things short and sweet for the kids earlier, he’d only practiced it a few times after finding the Christmas sheet music he’d used to refamiliarize himself with the songs. But it was one of his favorites, and it seemed natural to play it that night. Especially for her.

He wasn’t the best singer - and he knew it - but you didn’t seem to mind as you listened, head tilted to one side and your eyes closing briefly as he reached the first chorus, your smile growing from a small one into one that overtook your face. Is this really all it takes? All I need to be…

When he paused between verses to take a breath, you stood, keeping your eyes on him, and Joel found himself unable to look away. I don’t want to. He stumbled over the notes but you didn’t seem to notice, leaning back against the wood again as you resituated the blanket, drawing it tighter around yourself.

He finished the second verse and then started another chorus but stopped abruptly, setting the guitar down and standing, taking the two steps it took him to reach you. “Joel, wh-” You breathed out the words, unable to do much because of the way the blanket was wrapped around you, and let him tip your chin up, mouth opening slightly in surprise.

“I know I’m not the easiest person to be around.” He stroked your lower lip with his thumb, frowning. “And I know I drive you an’ Ellie crazy sometimes.”

“You do.” You winked at him, Joel scoffing and blowing out a puff of air, his breath visible, even in the low light. “But we don’t mind.”

“Good. I hope it stays that way.” Leaning in, he kissed you, his eyes finally closing as your mouths met. You stretched your arms out and enveloped him in the blanket with you, the pressure of your hands on his upper back pulling him in even closer.

It was unbelievable to him that a mere 8 months earlier, he hadn’t known you, and as he deepened the kiss, slipping his tongue between your lips and into your waiting mouth, he groaned at the realization that whatever he felt about the timeframe of your relationship, you likely did too.”We should go inside, Joel. It’s freezing out here.”

You spoke against his cheek, but Joel didn’t move toward the door, instead winding both arms around your body and hugging you tightly, keeping you rooted to the spot you stood in. “I think I can warm you up.” He sighed, kissing you again. “In fact, I know I can.”

The truth was that he was in no hurry to move - and for a man that had spent two decades of his life constantly looking over his shoulder and thinking three steps ahead, it was a drastic - but welcome - change for him.

He felt it then, the thing that had been slowly growing inside him over the previous few months threatening to spill from his lips. Oh, shit. As he stared at you, again focused on the look in your eyes, he saw it in them, too - though he knew that you were reluctant to admit it. Because she thinks it’ll scare me.

And it did - it terrified him, after so long of keeping everyone at arm’s length - including Tess - for the sake of ease. But as the two of you made your way back into the house, Joel grabbing the guitar along the way and you locking the door behind you, he understood that the terror he felt was a very different kind than he was used to. And it feels… good.

You both headed up the steps and back into the bedroom, Joel stopping to turn off the space heater before he climbed in next to you. “C’mere.” You rolled toward him and he pressed his forehead against yours, holding you like that. I think I’m fallin’ in love with you the same way you’re fallin’ in love with me. But what came out was something else - not quite as revealing, but still just as meaningful. “Can’t wait to spend Christmas with you. Didn’t think it’d be like this again.”

“Yeah, well…” You kissed him, then, your mouth lingering on his, and he knew that he was right - that despite all of his previous objections and promises to do everything to protect himself, he did love you. An’ she loves me, even if we can’t say it yet. “You’re stuck with me, Joel.”

He laughed, the sound little more than a quiet huff, but it was interrupted by you pushing him onto his back and staring down at him, the smile still on your lips. Alright. This I can … this I can do. “Gonna let me warm you up now?” With a single nod, your mouth descended again, covering his.

—

tag list reblog coming soon!

#joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller x female reader #pedro pascal character #the last of us #tlou #the last of us fic #just too good to be gone #jtgtbg #pedro pascal is joel miller #ellie williams #tommy miller #maria miller #christmas in Jackson #your eyes outshine the town #joel miller fic

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lords-of-mayhem · 7 months ago

Text

Chapter two of Mariners Apartment Complex

Warnings for this chapter: Mild sexual content, accidental voyeurism

Chapter summary: Part of Øystein wished he found Faust more attractive. He had a pretty face, don’t get him wrong, but Varg was the more alluring of the two in his opinion. Despite the assurance that Varg wasn’t unkind, that had taken a while to be disproven. In the beginning, Faust telling him things was the only way Øystein learned anything about Varg.

Words: 1,237

Admittedly, Faust and Varg had turned out to be pretty decent neighbors. For the most part, they were quiet enough. Øystein had dealt with plenty of people in the building being loud or disruptive at all hours, but he rarely even knew if they were home or not. He was grateful for this fact, the apartment adjacent to his had been vacant for a while and he’d always enjoyed it that way. He liked his privacy and valued the peace, but he didn’t mind having them there and it certainly helped that they were attractive on top of it all.

Personality wise, they were a mixed bag of sorts. Faust had stayed as sweet as he’d been the first day they met, always happy to chat with Øystein. He’d often walk downstairs with the older man in the afternoon to get their mail, chattering on about whatever new thing was going on in his life. Øystein thought his life sounded interesting. He worked at a record store and he was the drummer for a band, and he visited his mother on weekends.

Part of Øystein wished he found Faust more attractive. He had a pretty face, don’t get him wrong, but Varg was the more alluring of the two in his opinion. Despite the assurance that Varg wasn’t unkind, that had taken a while to be disproven. In the beginning, Faust telling him things was the only way Øystein learned anything about Varg.

Varg had taken weeks to even begin warming up to Øystein. He’d tried to bribe him at first, buying the pair alcohol and even picking up a pack of cigarettes in the brand that they smoked. When he’d tried to give it to Varg, he had simply pushed it back to him and told him to “at least buy the good kind” if he was going to try to buy his affection. The next time Øystein saw Varg, he had the most expensive brand he could afford and he felt like it was a victory when Varg couldn’t keep the small smile off his face.

He had warmed up to him just a bit after that, but Øystein quickly learned that the only person Varg was truly nice to was Faust. With everyone else, his words tended to stay biting and borderline pretentious at times. He had a certain air of superiority about him, seeming to believe he was better than others. Even with Faust, these same traits often leaked into the way he spoke to him, but he could at least conjure nice things to say as well. Although, most of his kindness came in the form of gestures and not words.

Gestures such as always lighting Faust’s cigarette before his own, letting him have the first and last sip of whatever they were drinking, and occasionally leaning his head on the other’s shoulder in a shockingly soft display. Despite this outright disdain for other people, Varg curiously had a lot of visitors throughout the day. Male visitors who Øystein knew weren’t there for any platonic reasons.

Varg walked each man inside the apartment and they always left alone an hour or less later, looking distinctly more ruffled. Many had a look of shame on their face both before and after the experience, some looking guilty as though they were doing something they shouldn’t be. The truly incriminating aspect of it was the sounds that always echoed through the thin walls.

Despite mostly being quiet neighbors, there were times when Varg couldn’t keep his noises under control. His bedroom seemed to share a wall with Øystein’s because that was where it was always the loudest. There was the sound of the bed springs rhythmically squeaking and then there were Varg’s sounds. God, his noises caught Øystein’s attention. He’d hear Varg’s moaning, often a sharp little ah ah ah with every thrust, clear as day at times. Øystein had no idea how he was able to go so many rounds, but he supposed it was a natural side effect of being young.

His visitors confused Øystein, though. It was impossible to pinpoint a specific type that Varg had. Some of the men were tall and slim while others were short and fat, and there were people that looked like everything in between. Some were on the younger side, but most of them were old, often far older than Varg. Most did not visit more than once, but he was sure he’d seen some of them a few times.

There was one particular young man that had come around a handful of times by now. He had shaggy black hair that was in desperate need of a wash, not that Øystein had much room to judge in that department, and he always looked nervous. Every time he was led upstairs, he had a cigarette in his hand and was puffing away at it obsessively, despite the various signs prohibiting such actions.

That was the only time Øystein had come close to complaining to Varg about the company he kept. He hated the smell of smoke this close to him and it always permeated through the walls, hanging heavy in his own apartment. He ultimately decided to keep the peace between them and just hoped he didn’t visit often. Luckily, he never visited more than once a week, so Øystein figured he could put up with the man’s existence.

Over time, Øystein had learned so much about Varg’s routine when it came to sex that it made him feel a bit uncomfortable. He knew that after the particularly loud nights, Varg would always be sitting outside the laundromat early the next morning. He’d sit on the bench, waiting for what Øystein presumed was his bedsheets to finish washing. He would have a cigarette in one hand and a cup of hot tea in the other, his hair messy and his face lethargic. It would look like he hadn’t slept all night even though the noises had always stopped pretty early into the night.

Øystein didn’t believe in shaming people for whatever kind of sex they wanted to have, no matter how often, but he couldn’t help feeling bad for Varg. He wasn’t entirely sure why he felt pity when he saw him on mornings like that, the feeling just bubbled up in his chest uncontrollably. There was something so depressing about seeing Varg staring off into space, face devoid of any emotion.

Varg never looked happy, not like Øystein thought someone who had extremely loud sex the night before would. He imagined he would be smiling or at least seem more relaxed, but Varg only looked higher strung. He tended to leave Varg alone on mornings like that, it seemed like he needed the world to leave him be for a while.

After the quieter nights, Varg would appear to be in a better mood which confused Øystein. He thought it would be the other way around, but maybe Varg was an unusual person in all aspects. Øystein appreciated the quieter nights because it meant Varg would usually make small talk with him if they ran into each other. Admittedly, there were days when Øystein would stare out of the peephole of his own door and walk out right after he saw Varg step out of his apartment. It might be a bit weird, but he never wanted to miss the chance to talk to him.

#smut #nsft #rpf #mayhem #burzum #emperor #euronymous #varg vikernes #oysten aarseth #faust #faust eithun #bard eithun

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fitgothgirl · 11 months ago

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Hiii look at me making a post! Haven't been super talkative here lately and hardly ever share my workout pics. Here's the one I just finished - I've never seen the t-rex before?? Fuck yeah. 🦖

Things are going pretty well. Since October I've still been successfully slowly cutting back on weed. I'm at the point now where I'm smoking a bowl per evening, if that. I have it locked up in my kSafe until 8pm each day. Soon I'll be updating the rule to 10pm, and after that I'll start smoking every other day, and so on. Me from six months ago smoking all day everyday would not believe I'm at this point! I'm proud. 😁 January 15th is the day I start my official break, two weeks before we leave for Costa Rica, so I'll be sure I won't be withdrawing by then. And when we come back I'm going to keep the break going to hit 8 weeks. Not quitting weed forever but I don't want to come back to the all day everyday shit... Not even daily either. Sounds crazy to me, probably sounds normal to most others though I'm sure lol.

Weight loss has slowed a bit but that's expected now that I'm smaller and I'm like a friggen solitary pound above having a normal BMI lol. Also ever since daylight savings ended, things have been harder to do and I've been feeling more blah. Story of everyone's life I'm sure... So considering all that, I'm still doing really well! No guilt or bad feelings about slowing weight loss or slightly less frequent workouts; no need to rush. At this point I've lost 29lbs/13.2kg total, 19lbs/8.6kg of which have been since late July.

I've also noticed visible muscle! The way my shoulder meets my trap when I flex is more defined, I have more biceps, I can often see my quads, my calf muscle has become an obstacle while shaving lol, etc. Loving it. 💪🏼

An NSV includes wearing more of my women's t-shirts; 95% of my t-shirts are men's shirts (band shirts and Blackcraft lol) since they're more comfy and I often don't like how women's t-shirts fit (depending on how they're cut; women's clothes have zero consistency). But I do have some women's t-shirts and I'm wearing them more again since they fit much better and I'm more confident (my skyrocketing confidence is another NSV!). And another NSV is needing a new belt, and soon here I'm going to need new pants! 😅

Therapy has been helping with all this too of course; I love my therapist. 🖤 She keeps things in perspective and makes sure to hype me up about how awesome I'm doing and tell me to be proud of myself. And since I'm doing so well, she makes sure that I give myself grace when I'm feeling more in a lull. Since things have been harder since DST, I've gotten a bit down or at least worried that I don't want to go back to how I was (health-wise, weed-wise, etc.), but we had a good pep talk yesterday. I'm not even regressing, just slowed down a bit. But who doesn't slow down this time of year...

Anyway, not sure what else to update since it's been a while lol. Had friendsgiving on Thanksgiving weekend, went to Vegas for my bf's work Christmas party a couple weekends ago... Last concert was Psyclon Nine in mid-November (pretty sure that's where I got a cold that emerged a few days later... Either that or an Addams Family musical we went to the next night. But all better now!). And I can't believe I'm saying this but I don't think we have another concert planned until ✝️✝️✝️ (Crosses) in friggen March. So uncharacteristic for us lol. I'm sure we can find something if we want, or I've also been wanting to hit up a Death Guild since it's been a minute for that too. Nothing else too crazy going on, our calendar's been a bit quieter than it has been in years past. But it's kinda nice haha. 😅

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avian-misdemeanors · 1 year ago

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airplanes but as people

707: classy, elegant, cultured, very big presence, Audrey Hepburn vibes

717: smart, unassuming, a feminist before it was socially acceptable

727: autistic, will tell you everything about its special interest, weird and lovable, may use it/its pronouns

737: she likes her pumpkin spice lattes and her leggings. gets called basic, but she's reliable and easy to get along with

747: 6'6" woman with broad shoulders and long, wavy, dark hair. she looks amazing in an elegant dress and has a commanding presence. powerful dark voice, very charismatic. when she speaks, you listen.

757: 74's little sister, much less imposing, very leggy, plays volleyball, total tomboy, very very likeable and cute but also very pretty and athletic, short dyed hair

767: pantsuit businesswoman, smart, a little conventional but that's not always a bad thing

777: she's a professional athlete, a competitive powerlifter. she looks intimidating, but once you get to know her she's a pretty open book.

787: trans girl programmer, drawer full of thigh high socks, RGB everything

797: 787's fursona

Spitfire: short British girl who owns and carries a pistol. she's a skilled martial artist but she much prefers spending time on her other hobbies: makeup and ballroom dancing

AN-225: rural Ukrainian grandma in her 70's. still milks the cows every morning, and still chops her own firewood. her grandson is off fighting the Russians and she's very proud of him

B-1: used to wear a black cape and Naruto-run around the playground at school as a kid. was and still is obsessed with Batman, joined the army and has had a long career

B-21: like the 787; trans furry gamer girl obsessed with programming. wears thigh highs, RGB everything, but also joined the military and has guns at home

U-2: shy and introverted, lean and kind of lanky, she spends all her spare time hiking in the middle of nowhere. the kind of person who you stop being surprised by when she tells you she did a "light" 30 mile hike over the weekend. you're convinced she could just get up and walk the whole Appalachian Trail if she felt like it. has an account on FurAffinity and she will make it your problem. she also has the absolute best weed

L-1011: beefy working class woman with broad shoulders and a heavily worn-in denim jacket. she quit smoking in the '90s but she still knows a bunch of lighter tricks and does them when she's bored using her old beat-up Zippo. will come into your life for one week and ruin every other person for you, forever.

Tu-144: former Soviet professional athlete who had huge potential but got super addicted to amphetamines and burnt out REALLY hard, did not live up to her potential, and gave up fast. she's now a retired but functioning alcoholic watching the collapse of the modern Russian state going "here we go again"

Concorde: slightly stuck up but not mean at all, had her day in the sun, won a lot of gold medals in the Olympics, now gracefully retired and coaching the next generation of athletes. keeps in touch with Boeing 2707, Tu-144, and Lockheed L-2000

SR-71: older legendary retired Olympic sprinter, kind of a loner but she sometimes hangs out with Tu-144, L-2000, B2707, and Concorde

Space Shuttle: hotshot test pilot who wears aviators everywhere, loves to reminisce about her glory days

MiG-15: retired soldier, left Russia after the fall of the Soviet Union and now lives in a cabin in northern Canada. used to believe in the USSR but now basically doesn't believe in governments at all and just keeps to herself. drinking problem.

F-86: retired Olympic fencer, focuses on her grandkids now, visits MiG-15 to play chess and drink

F-111: furry trans girl techie who likes to watch mecha anime. taller than she'd like but she still loves herself and finds ways to see her own beauty.

F-117: Goth girl who was best friends with the B-1 in school, they'd both watch anime together as kids. F-117 kinda vanished after high school then reappeared on instagram years later as an owner of a crossfit gym

F-22: expert martial artist, small in stature but tough as nails, buzz cut, tank top, combat boots. she will be your friend but she is also a little...unhinged

XF-85 Goblin: tried to join the military but was rejected due to ADHD. no longer believes in the military and is glad she got rejected. when asked about it she says "the military is dumb and war is for straight people". silly little shit who makes bad puns and likes rolling around on the floor with cats. drinks soda in the shower.

P-51: played quarterback in high school, then drafted into WWII

P-38: played tight end on P-51's team.

P-51 and P-38 got drafted together, went to boot-camp together, but they got deployed to different theaters of war.

They write each other. The letters don't always go through. When they get a letter, they head back to their bunk, shirtless with dog-tags dangling, they read with a big smile on their face and a cigarette in their mouth

They rehash heroic football plays that sent the bleachers into uproarious cheers, sounding like a crowd ten times larger than the entire population of Littletown, Arkansas that they were.

Their letters also contain very very vague but pointed allusions to the times they spent together after the games were over and the other teammates went out with their girlfriends. Locker Rooms. Cornfields. And the Ice House. Oh, the Ice House…

P-51 bitches about the cold in western europe. P-38 bitches about the tropical humidity and mosquitos, and how he always forgets the name of the island he's on this week.

It'll be over soon, right?

P-38 says he overheard B-29 saying that the war is going to end one way or another very soon in a very confident manner. B-29's tone kind of spooked P-38, and he's not sure why. He prays that B-29 is right, but something feels off around here.

The censors blacked out most of that letter. P-51 is glad P-38 is alive…but what is going on over there?

P-51 wanders the aerodrome, and he spots B-17 and C-47 making eyes at each other. His hands ball up in fists in his pockets. Those two get to go home and get married, ring bearer, flower girls. Tuxedo, Wedding Dress.

All he gets is the Ice House. But oh…Oh, the Ice House…

A300: Old fashioned diesel dyke. She's in her 60's but still does powerlifting as a hobby. She lives with her cute femme wife, who is absolutely the domme in the relationship. They're both retired and raise goats together at their cottage in the country to sell goat dairy at the local farmer's market. She wears denim vests covered in patches, many of which are old and faded, she's tattooed and still has a buzz cut. She was on the front lines helping her fellow queers during the AIDS crisis.

A320: When you find out your friend from high school who said she was going to major in finance actually did major in finance, got a finance job, and has been working for 10 years and somehow hasn't burned out, has savings, bought a car, a normal but attractive fiance, and watches an appropriate amount of Netflix in the evening

A320neo: Same woman but she just discovered aromatherapy

A350: Same woman but she got a masters from an online college while still working full time and has multiple CFO job offers

Honda Jet: The only posts on her instagram are her college graduation in 2016 with her white american mom and japanese dad, and she's taller than both of them, and a STOP ASIAN HATE post from 2020

Stipa Caproni: down for literally anything and will absolutely blow your mind but not for long.

Wright Military Flyer: an 85 year old lady who still beautiful and dainty but also keeps a fucking Colt 1899 on a thigh holster. under her dress, of course. she's still a lady.

Tu-154: a track star and will go all night long, you won't be sure if you're boinking or in a cardio race

F-14: a retired Subaru lesbian who lives with her wife and 3 dogs. was the popular girl in school and kind of everyone's friend in college.

Bristol F2b: knows how to use flintlock weapons and always smells a little bit like leather and campfire, but she's really sweet and comforting to be around.

T-38: 5'2" and a little fucking firecracker. doesn't actually know how to fight you but she will certainly try and one or both of you will end up with teeth missing.

Kfir: the kind of girl who you suspect might actually be an assassin.

F-4 Phantom: a butch martial artist in her 40s who is suspiciously muscular and shows off by crushing watermelons with her thighs, arms, hands, etc. She wears combat boots and a leather jacket and rides a motorcycle

7J7: refers to the D&D Monster Manual as the "Girlfriend Guide"

F4U Corsair: collects swords but in a hot way

TBM Avenger: a classic softball lesbian

P-47: a bodybuilder, she can lift you over her head. big and imposing, but a kind person who will happily use her large stature to help her smaller friends feel safe.

CRJ-900: collects swords but in a pretentious way

DC-3: keeps pigeons on her roof, but it's cute bc she talks to all of them. they are her friends. get her talking and she will tell you stories from her youth that will haunt you

Convair 990: does illegal street racing

DC-9: has a piss kink. sells landing gear pics online.

UH-1 Huey: smokes cigars and drinks whiskey, and goes hunting often. She's trans and beautiful but still calls herself a "good ol' boy"

Bell JetRanger: in her late 40s and just figured out she's gay, she's doing her best.

V-22 Osprey: a genderfluid gun enthusiast, not in a toxic way but sometimes you worry about their stability. not the best mental health.

MD500C: an aging ballerina who is still way more strong and agile than you.

MD530F: her daughter who took after her mom but is a better dancer and has an undercut she dyes silver.

EC-135: she is a no-nonsense doctor with a femme wife and a 3-year old.

CH-53: is a 'roided out butch whose father was in the Navy, she served in the Navy, and now won't stop talking about the Navy. She's now a volunteer firefighter who has strapped every subby femme in the region but will always remain single.

Mi-26: a heavyset Russian grandmother who only makes one facial expression. She has subsisted off of nothing more than potatoes for at least the past half century. She is old, but she is not frail.

R22: is a lanky truck-stop hooker. Everyone can come inside for a low price, no experience required.

AW-109: works as a first mate on a megayacht. She knows all the secrets of a particular billionaire but won't say who.

MiG-29: she will shove you the fuck up against a wall and you will like it.

Lockheed Constellation: goes by Connie, she will give you the classiest evening of your life.

Ekranoplan: she was going to be an Olympic swimmer for the Soviet Union, but when the USSR collapsed, so did she. she's a sad story, but she's happy in her retirement to see the younger generations taking an interest in her career, and trying to carry it on in some way.

Sopwith Camel: completely unhinged but in a hot way

made with help from @bananabreadloveman

#listen i just really love planes okay #also sad history gays #aviation #avgeek

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