i-am-a-bad-influence-writes

[i-am-a-bad-influence-writes]

P*rn ☆  Chapter 3, After party

Masterlist Word count: 1.2 k Sylus x Fem!Reader

Summary: You have been following a spicy content creator by the name of Red Crow for some time now. Nothing could’ve prepared you for what would happen when he moves into the apartment next door.

Warning! This story is meant for mature audiences. It contains sex, swear words, porn, smoking, intimate piercings, mentions of drugs, alcohol, and other mature themes. Do not engage if you are under 18.

Author's note: Tehee, I'm suddenly writing like I'm on fucking speed. Have another chapter while I'm not burned out from this story yet <3

Mature content under the cut.

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'Oh, you've got to be fucking kidding me,' you hiss to yourself. You've gotten dried off and dressed after your very unsuccessful cold shower (that maybe ended in you masturbating anyway) and opened your phone to see if you had any notifications. The last thing you expected to see was a new video from Red Crow, aka Sylus, aka your neighbor, jacking off right after meeting you wearing the same thing shirt he had when he opened the door for you.  

Is he teasing you? No, surely not. He said he'd make a video if everyone begged for it, don't be delusional... It is a nice idea though. Him being that horny after meeting you for no more than two minutes. 

Before you can even watch the first ten seconds of the video, your doorbell rings. It scares the bejesus out of you and you almost drop your phone. Fuck, you need to calm down and you need to do it fucking now. Tara is at your door, and you need to get through a night of romcoms and facemasks before you can watch that video. 

You rush to the door and open it with a friendly smile, trying hard to hide the lust filled thoughts playing behind your eyes. There stands Tara, but she's engaged in a conversation. 'Oh, hello,' she says to you with a smile and turns to your neighbor's door, 'Kieran, Sylus, have fun. See you soon.' 

Shit, you just can't help it. You stick your head around the corner and there he stands, confidently leaned against the doorframe of his door, arms crossed, wearing a different shirt for a reason that you can very easily imagine after that video. He wears a self-satisfied smirk on his lips when he sees your head peak around the corner and nods his head to you. Your cheeks burn and you barely even notice Kieran standing there. You try to nod back at him as casually as you can but there's no saving you now. So you just head back in and wait for Tara to follow you in hopes that it won't look too strange. 

'What was that all about,' she asks, following you inside. You shrug and venture further into your apartment. 

'Do you want tea?' Tara frowns and closes the door behind her a little too loud. She seems more concerned than angry, just as she had this morning. 

'Ma’am, what is going on,' she demands, standing with her hands on her hips in the middle of the living room. If you hadn't know what kind of person she is, you might've taken it more seriously but with the way your brain is fried you fear you might not even be able to hold a normal conversation. 

'He's rude,' you blurt out, your filter completely gone. Shit, your brain really is fried. 'Anyway, what movie should we watch?' 

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'What was all that,' Kieran nearly cries out like an excited teenage girl while trying to hit Sylus’ shoulders. Not that he can. Despite his size, Sylus is incredibly fast. Blame years and years of boxing for that. 

'I have no clue what you mean,' Sylus says cold, calculated, monotone, but the slightest flinch of the corners of his lips give him away. He quickly turns to his bar cart to pour them all a drink, but then he spots the bottle of whiskey you gave him and his lips twitch up again. 

This time Luke also catches it. He turns on the couch, clutching the back and pulling himself up in a chaotic attempt to climb over and tease Sylus like there's no tomorrow. He fails miserably when Sylus looks back at him with one warning look while pouring the whiskey. 

Kieran sits down in one of the two big lazy chairs while Luke spreads out on the couch. 'Did she come over?' 

'She got me a housewarming present,' Sylus muses, trying to keep his composure as he grabs the three glasses of whiskey by the rims and walks them over to the coffee table. As soon as they're set down, Kieran and Luke shoot up to claim their glasses. 

'A housewarming present,' Luke says in a teasing tone while wiggling his eyebrows, his eyes flicking from Kieran to Sylus and back a few times. Sylus sighs and pinches his brow, still trying so damn hard to make it seem like everything is the same. 

'Whiskey,' he says to explain, 'she got me a bottle of whiskey.' 

'And you made her throat burn,' Luke teases once more, but this time even Kieran cringes. 

'And you wonder why you're single,' Kieran sighs. 

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'Come on, out with it,' Tara demands. Throughout the last two hours, you've been dancing around the topic under the guise of choosing a movie, making tea, putting facemasks on, painting each other's toenails, etcetera, but you're dead out of things to keep Tara busy. So you just give in. Well, you give in a little bit. Can't play all your cards yet. 

'He's hot okay,' you groan, 'he's fucking hot and I have a fucking dry spell.'  

That was clearly not what Tara expected you to say after you told her he was rude to you. 'Wait, back it up, I thought you were joking about you and Zayne just being friends.' 

'No, we're really just friends. We've kissed once to see if we wanted something more but neither of us felt anything.' She nods. 

'And Sylus is your type?' 

'Well,' you mumble, a blush forming on your cheeks, 'I guess. I've always liked them tall. Can't say I've ever met anyone like him before, though.' Mentally, you beat yourself up. This man is a sex God and you're sitting here, one measly wall away from him, blushing like Sylus and you are the main characters in a slow burn k-drama. 

'Fair enough,' she agrees and suggests, 'I can give him your number under the guise of telling each other about parties and stuff. Like what you did with Zayne.' 

'I don't think he's the kind of person who likes having his hand forced,' you note uncertainly, 'besides, he's a grown man. If he wants something, he can get it himself.' And shit, the way you would give it to him. They'd have to add a new level to the Richter Scale after you're done with him. Or he's done with you, whatever he prefers to say. You're not picky as long as you can feel his hands all over you. “Wait, stop, you're still with Tara. Calm your ovaries woman,” you mentally scream at yourself, hoping the blush on your cheeks still seems as innocent as it had a bit ago but you can feel your ears flush.

Tara agrees with a nod, seemingly not noticing anything: 'You're right. And he did seem to like you.' 

'That's probably just because I gave him whiskey as a housewarming gift.' 

'No, I don't think I've ever seen him look at a woman like that,' she says absentmindedly. You suddenly feel your heart pounding in your chest once more. Truly, your heart is trying to be your undoing. You're not supposed to like this person after meeting them once but at the same time, you've been watching him for ages. When you think about it, it actually feels a little bit weird. 

You've been watching him, he doesn't know you. And yet, he seems to be the more confident one.

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Taglist

@carmelves

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[i-am-a-bad-influence-writes]

Yes ma'am, I'll add you.

Anyone else who is interested, just send me an ask.

P*rn ☆  Chapter 2, Moving noises?

Masterlist Word count: 1.9 k Sylus x Fem!Reader

Summary: You have been following a spicy content creator by the name of Red Crow for some time now. Nothing could’ve prepared you for what would happen when he moves into the apartment next door.

Author's note: Haha, take this! 2 chapters in one day!

Mature content under the cut.

∘₊✧───────────────────────────────────────✧₊∘ 

'Are you alright? You look tired.' Tara sounds awfully concerned and you can imagine why. The bags under your eyes might as well be down to your knees by now. Turns out your new neighbor is nocturnal. You couldn't care less about the moving noises, but the fact that they only happen past ten pm is killing you. 

'No kidding,' you sass at her. Quickly, you smack your hands in front of your face. Sure, you're known to have an attitude but never to Tara. She's too sweet. 'I'm sorry, I'm just so tired.' 

Tara frowns: 'Is it that new neighbor of yours? Kieran told me he has a tendency to stay up late.' 

'That's an understatement. He's nocturnal.' Tara lets out an annoyed groan in solidarity, but it just sounds cute coming from her. 'It's fine. I'm sure he's almost done. I mean, how much stuff can you fit into one of those units? You've seen mine, the one next door isn't much bigger.' 

'Must be a big change, considering you and Zayne were so close.' 

'We still are,' you tell her, 'we just see each other a little less now. I do miss him a lot.' She nods but her eyes have a little twinkle in them and you know where this is going. 'No, stop that. Zayne and I are just friends.' 

'Never even... you know,' she questions with a cheeky smile and a wiggle of her brow. 

'No, never,' you laugh, 'as I said, just friends. I don't know, he just feels like a brother. I mean, I've teased him before as a joke and nothing “physical” happened on his end. So I don't think he likes me either.' 

'He goes through an awful lot of effort to be “just friends,” just saying.' 

'Yeah, yeah, sure. You have a very filthy mind for the way you look.' 

'It's been said,' she responds with a gleaming smile. You lean back in your chair and cross your arms, looking her up and down. 

'About that.' Her body tenses up every so slightly. 'Your boyfriend is not what I expected at all. I mean, I've seen him pick you up before and he looks quite tough, but he seemed just as awkward as you are.' Tara's eyes flicker around the room a while, seemingly not wanting to explain anything to you, until her phone lights up. She quickly checks the notification and gasps with excitement. 

'Hold that thought, so Kieran just told me they're doing drinks to celebrate Sylus’ move. That means they must be done,' she states in a chipper tone. You raise an eyebrow at the strange change of topic. There's a freaky side to that woman, you're sure of it. 

'So?' 

'So, I'm dropping Kieran off so he can have some drinks but maybe we can have a girls' night,' she suggests. Considering Red Crow isn't posting anything today for once, your evening is completely open. Could be fun to have a quiet night in with Tara. 

'Sure, sounds fun. What are you thinking? Movie, face masks, board game?' 

'All of the above,' she squeals in excitement, 'I'll bring some snacks.' 

'Great, just let me know when you and Kieran are driving over.' 

∘₊✧───────────────────────────────────────✧₊∘ 

To be a good neighbor, you decided to get this Sylus guy a little something as a housewarming gift. Considering they'll be drinking; a bottle of whiskey can never go wrong. Lucky for you, you were gifted a bottle of whiskey a few weeks ago but you know that one is not quite your style. The Writer's Tears single pot still. It's a very nice whiskey and you've had different whiskeys from Writer's Tears before, but you're just not the biggest whiskey drinker. It's expensive too, so it might give a good impression. 

Tara just texted you she's on her way, which means you've got about fifteen minutes before she gets here. You considered waiting for her and Kieran to hand over the gift so it could be in the spirit of "oh, just dropping my friend's boyfriend off" but that’s just weird. Feels like you're a parent dropping your kid off at school and you're not about that. 

So now you're here, in front of the oh-so familiar door that you used to have a key to. Part of you is really curious how the place looks now, another part of you wants to keep the memory of how it used to be in a time capsule. Either way, you've got a present for your neighbor and this interaction could be done within a minute if you do it right. 

You press the doorbell and hear something fall followed by a string of curses. The door opens fast and the person on the other side, who you think is probably Sylus, towers over you. You look up at him with wide eyes and recognize him right away. That man right there is the reason for most of your pleasure and orgasms. Red Crow. 

'What,' he barks. Rude , and not at all what you would've expected. Still, it takes you a second to take all of him in. He’s even taller than you imagined, eyes even more piercing, face even sharper. It's like a fucking God leaning over you and staring down like you're no more than a puny peasant. 

And a switch flicks in your head. 

'Fix your tone,' you huff, 'I'm your neighbor. I thought I'd bring you a housewarming present.' His eyes widen ever so slightly. How you managed to muster up such a bratty tone in the face of who's talked you over the edge more times than you can count is a mystery to you, but it feels kind of nice to see him stunned like this. You hold out the box the whiskey is packaged in towards him. 

His shoulders relax and he does actually fix his face. His features soften a little and his eyes no longer stare at you like you're an intruder. Your heart starts racing, as if your body just now realizes who is in front of you. You beg to the Gods above that your cheeks don't get bright red. A cold shiver goes down your spine when he takes the box from you with a flicker of an amused smile, the box suddenly seeming much smaller in his hands. 'Thank you, that's nice.' 

'No worries. Tara told me you're having a party, so I thought that wouldn't hurt,' you say, trying to sound as casual as possible. He studies your face for a second, searching for the answers to a question he doesn't ask you. 

'You know Tara?' You nod. 

'She's my coworker.' Shit, your voice isn't as steady as it was at the start anymore. You've got this man on a fucking pedestal and he's here, in reach. It's a weird feeling. Your panties are soaked but you're highly put off by the way he greeted you. Still... there are very little appropriate thoughts going on in your head right now. If this was your last day on earth, you'd have this man bend you like a pretzel right here right now in the hallway. 

He nods, amused like a cat playing with its prey. 'Is that right?’ 

'Yes. Whelp, nice meeting you. I'm gonna go back to my place,' you ramble awkwardly and quickly turn to slip back into your own apartment, accidentally slamming the door. How the hell are you going to face Tara now? Your body is going into overdrive. You bet you could cum just hearing your vibrator turn on. However, you can't risk it. Tara has told you Kieran drives like a maniac and always drives if he's sober, which is now. She could be in front of your door any second. 

"Just breathe," you tell yourself, "it's just a man." Yeah, just a man, a man that could fuck you like there's no tomorrow. Shit, your thoughts aren't your friends right now. A cold shower ought to work. Hopefully. 

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The bottle of whiskey from his neighbor was put on display on his bar cart. He knows the kind and that type of whiskey isn't for parties. Not even small parties like this. He figures it might be a regift or something. No sane person would give a total stranger an expensive whiskey like this. Never mind a stranger who has been a disturbance from the start. 

Then again, they're not really strangers. He saw the look in her eyes. He's seen it before and hasn't been wrong about it yet. It's that "I've seen you naked" look. To be fair, Sylus would've preferred to stay anonymous in this building for a little longer but considering his neighbor is friends with Tara, she probably won't tell anyone what he does. That is, if she knows what her boyfriend Kieran does since he wears a mask in his content. 

But there was more in her eyes. More than just scandal or embarrassment. There was lust. A lot of it. So much so that Sylus feared he might've caused his pants to tent if she would've bit her lip. Best for both of them that she left when she did. 

He runs his hands through his hair in frustration. Normally, he's not one to obsess like this but there was just something about her. Something about how she looked at him, about the way she commanded him to fix his tone. It's been a long damn time since a woman showed that kind of dominance to him and, shit, it turns him on like crazy. 

Maybe, just maybe, he can rub one out real quick. He sits down on his bed and looks down at the bulge in his pants. He truly hopes he didn't look like that before. He hadn't seen her look at it. Besides, would that be so bad? It looked like she wanted him to take her right then and there, and he would have if she asked. Or demanded, he isn't picky. 

A devious thought pops up in his head. He promised his followers he'd record himself getting off if they begged and beg they did. Maybe he could tease her with this as well if she really does watch him. If it wasn't just a look of attraction and intimidation, but recognition. 

He whips out his phone, puts it on his dresser across from the bed pointed at his crotch and upper body with his thighs still visible. His face is just out of frame, not on purpose but he doesn't mind his followers not seeing how flustered one small interaction got him. Not that they'd ever know why, but she would. 

He sits down on the edge of the bed once more to check if everything's in frame when he hears it. The shower. Her shower. So, her bathroom and his are next to each other, which means their bedrooms are probably also next to each other.  

“Good to know,” he thinks to himself, and that's when he hears it. The softest, most muffled of moans followed by a string of whimpers. He feels his dick twitch against his pants like it's being chocked, his ears feel like they're burning while a wicked grin plays on his lips. 

And then he presses record. 

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[i-am-a-bad-influence-writes]

Babes, we ain't even started yet ;)

P*rn ☆  Chapter 2, Moving noises?

Masterlist Word count: 1.9 k Sylus x Fem!Reader

Summary: You have been following a spicy content creator by the name of Red Crow for some time now. Nothing could’ve prepared you for what would happen when he moves into the apartment next door.

Author's note: Haha, take this! 2 chapters in one day!

Mature content under the cut.

∘₊✧───────────────────────────────────────✧₊∘ 

'Are you alright? You look tired.' Tara sounds awfully concerned and you can imagine why. The bags under your eyes might as well be down to your knees by now. Turns out your new neighbor is nocturnal. You couldn't care less about the moving noises, but the fact that they only happen past ten pm is killing you. 

'No kidding,' you sass at her. Quickly, you smack your hands in front of your face. Sure, you're known to have an attitude but never to Tara. She's too sweet. 'I'm sorry, I'm just so tired.' 

Tara frowns: 'Is it that new neighbor of yours? Kieran told me he has a tendency to stay up late.' 

'That's an understatement. He's nocturnal.' Tara lets out an annoyed groan in solidarity, but it just sounds cute coming from her. 'It's fine. I'm sure he's almost done. I mean, how much stuff can you fit into one of those units? You've seen mine, the one next door isn't much bigger.' 

'Must be a big change, considering you and Zayne were so close.' 

'We still are,' you tell her, 'we just see each other a little less now. I do miss him a lot.' She nods but her eyes have a little twinkle in them and you know where this is going. 'No, stop that. Zayne and I are just friends.' 

'Never even... you know,' she questions with a cheeky smile and a wiggle of her brow. 

'No, never,' you laugh, 'as I said, just friends. I don't know, he just feels like a brother. I mean, I've teased him before as a joke and nothing “physical” happened on his end. So I don't think he likes me either.' 

'He goes through an awful lot of effort to be “just friends,” just saying.' 

'Yeah, yeah, sure. You have a very filthy mind for the way you look.' 

'It's been said,' she responds with a gleaming smile. You lean back in your chair and cross your arms, looking her up and down. 

'About that.' Her body tenses up every so slightly. 'Your boyfriend is not what I expected at all. I mean, I've seen him pick you up before and he looks quite tough, but he seemed just as awkward as you are.' Tara's eyes flicker around the room a while, seemingly not wanting to explain anything to you, until her phone lights up. She quickly checks the notification and gasps with excitement. 

'Hold that thought, so Kieran just told me they're doing drinks to celebrate Sylus’ move. That means they must be done,' she states in a chipper tone. You raise an eyebrow at the strange change of topic. There's a freaky side to that woman, you're sure of it. 

'So?' 

'So, I'm dropping Kieran off so he can have some drinks but maybe we can have a girls' night,' she suggests. Considering Red Crow isn't posting anything today for once, your evening is completely open. Could be fun to have a quiet night in with Tara. 

'Sure, sounds fun. What are you thinking? Movie, face masks, board game?' 

'All of the above,' she squeals in excitement, 'I'll bring some snacks.' 

'Great, just let me know when you and Kieran are driving over.' 

∘₊✧───────────────────────────────────────✧₊∘ 

To be a good neighbor, you decided to get this Sylus guy a little something as a housewarming gift. Considering they'll be drinking; a bottle of whiskey can never go wrong. Lucky for you, you were gifted a bottle of whiskey a few weeks ago but you know that one is not quite your style. The Writer's Tears single pot still. It's a very nice whiskey and you've had different whiskeys from Writer's Tears before, but you're just not the biggest whiskey drinker. It's expensive too, so it might give a good impression. 

Tara just texted you she's on her way, which means you've got about fifteen minutes before she gets here. You considered waiting for her and Kieran to hand over the gift so it could be in the spirit of "oh, just dropping my friend's boyfriend off" but that’s just weird. Feels like you're a parent dropping your kid off at school and you're not about that. 

So now you're here, in front of the oh-so familiar door that you used to have a key to. Part of you is really curious how the place looks now, another part of you wants to keep the memory of how it used to be in a time capsule. Either way, you've got a present for your neighbor and this interaction could be done within a minute if you do it right. 

You press the doorbell and hear something fall followed by a string of curses. The door opens fast and the person on the other side, who you think is probably Sylus, towers over you. You look up at him with wide eyes and recognize him right away. That man right there is the reason for most of your pleasure and orgasms. Red Crow. 

'What,' he barks. Rude , and not at all what you would've expected. Still, it takes you a second to take all of him in. He’s even taller than you imagined, eyes even more piercing, face even sharper. It's like a fucking God leaning over you and staring down like you're no more than a puny peasant. 

And a switch flicks in your head. 

'Fix your tone,' you huff, 'I'm your neighbor. I thought I'd bring you a housewarming present.' His eyes widen ever so slightly. How you managed to muster up such a bratty tone in the face of who's talked you over the edge more times than you can count is a mystery to you, but it feels kind of nice to see him stunned like this. You hold out the box the whiskey is packaged in towards him. 

His shoulders relax and he does actually fix his face. His features soften a little and his eyes no longer stare at you like you're an intruder. Your heart starts racing, as if your body just now realizes who is in front of you. You beg to the Gods above that your cheeks don't get bright red. A cold shiver goes down your spine when he takes the box from you with a flicker of an amused smile, the box suddenly seeming much smaller in his hands. 'Thank you, that's nice.' 

'No worries. Tara told me you're having a party, so I thought that wouldn't hurt,' you say, trying to sound as casual as possible. He studies your face for a second, searching for the answers to a question he doesn't ask you. 

'You know Tara?' You nod. 

'She's my coworker.' Shit, your voice isn't as steady as it was at the start anymore. You've got this man on a fucking pedestal and he's here, in reach. It's a weird feeling. Your panties are soaked but you're highly put off by the way he greeted you. Still... there are very little appropriate thoughts going on in your head right now. If this was your last day on earth, you'd have this man bend you like a pretzel right here right now in the hallway. 

He nods, amused like a cat playing with its prey. 'Is that right?’ 

'Yes. Whelp, nice meeting you. I'm gonna go back to my place,' you ramble awkwardly and quickly turn to slip back into your own apartment, accidentally slamming the door. How the hell are you going to face Tara now? Your body is going into overdrive. You bet you could cum just hearing your vibrator turn on. However, you can't risk it. Tara has told you Kieran drives like a maniac and always drives if he's sober, which is now. She could be in front of your door any second. 

"Just breathe," you tell yourself, "it's just a man." Yeah, just a man, a man that could fuck you like there's no tomorrow. Shit, your thoughts aren't your friends right now. A cold shower ought to work. Hopefully. 

∘₊✧───────────────────────────────────────✧₊∘ 

The bottle of whiskey from his neighbor was put on display on his bar cart. He knows the kind and that type of whiskey isn't for parties. Not even small parties like this. He figures it might be a regift or something. No sane person would give a total stranger an expensive whiskey like this. Never mind a stranger who has been a disturbance from the start. 

Then again, they're not really strangers. He saw the look in her eyes. He's seen it before and hasn't been wrong about it yet. It's that "I've seen you naked" look. To be fair, Sylus would've preferred to stay anonymous in this building for a little longer but considering his neighbor is friends with Tara, she probably won't tell anyone what he does. That is, if she knows what her boyfriend Kieran does since he wears a mask in his content. 

But there was more in her eyes. More than just scandal or embarrassment. There was lust. A lot of it. So much so that Sylus feared he might've caused his pants to tent if she would've bit her lip. Best for both of them that she left when she did. 

He runs his hands through his hair in frustration. Normally, he's not one to obsess like this but there was just something about her. Something about how she looked at him, about the way she commanded him to fix his tone. It's been a long damn time since a woman showed that kind of dominance to him and, shit, it turns him on like crazy. 

Maybe, just maybe, he can rub one out real quick. He sits down on his bed and looks down at the bulge in his pants. He truly hopes he didn't look like that before. He hadn't seen her look at it. Besides, would that be so bad? It looked like she wanted him to take her right then and there, and he would have if she asked. Or demanded, he isn't picky. 

A devious thought pops up in his head. He promised his followers he'd record himself getting off if they begged and beg they did. Maybe he could tease her with this as well if she really does watch him. If it wasn't just a look of attraction and intimidation, but recognition. 

He whips out his phone, puts it on his dresser across from the bed pointed at his crotch and upper body with his thighs still visible. His face is just out of frame, not on purpose but he doesn't mind his followers not seeing how flustered one small interaction got him. Not that they'd ever know why, but she would. 

He sits down on the edge of the bed once more to check if everything's in frame when he hears it. The shower. Her shower. So, her bathroom and his are next to each other, which means their bedrooms are probably also next to each other.  

“Good to know,” he thinks to himself, and that's when he hears it. The softest, most muffled of moans followed by a string of whimpers. He feels his dick twitch against his pants like it's being chocked, his ears feel like they're burning while a wicked grin plays on his lips. 

And then he presses record. 

Previous - Next

[i-am-a-bad-influence-writes]

P*rn ☆  Chapter 2, Moving noises?

Masterlist Word count: 1.9 k Sylus x Fem!Reader

Summary: You have been following a spicy content creator by the name of Red Crow for some time now. Nothing could’ve prepared you for what would happen when he moves into the apartment next door.

Warning! This story is meant for mature audiences. It contains sex, swear words, porn, smoking, intimate piercings, mentions of drugs, and other mature themes. Do not engage if you are under 18.

Author's note: Haha, take this! 2 chapters in one day! Also, every time I write another chapter to this story I have to update the warnings and it isn't even that spicy yet.

Mature content under the cut.

∘₊✧───────────────────────────────────────✧₊∘ 

'Are you alright? You look tired.' Tara sounds awfully concerned and you can imagine why. The bags under your eyes might as well be down to your knees by now. Turns out your new neighbor is nocturnal. You couldn't care less about the moving noises, but the fact that they only happen past ten pm is killing you. 

'No kidding,' you sass at her. Quickly, you smack your hands in front of your face. Sure, you're known to have an attitude but never to Tara. She's too sweet. 'I'm sorry, I'm just so tired.' 

Tara frowns: 'Is it that new neighbor of yours? Kieran told me he has a tendency to stay up late.' 

'That's an understatement. He's nocturnal.' Tara lets out an annoyed groan in solidarity, but it just sounds cute coming from her. 'It's fine. I'm sure he's almost done. I mean, how much stuff can you fit into one of those units? You've seen mine, the one next door isn't much bigger.' 

'Must be a big change, considering you and Zayne were so close.' 

'We still are,' you tell her, 'we just see each other a little less now. I do miss him a lot.' She nods but her eyes have a little twinkle in them and you know where this is going. 'No, stop that. Zayne and I are just friends.' 

'Never even... you know,' she questions with a cheeky smile and a wiggle of her brow. 

'No, never,' you laugh, 'as I said, just friends. I don't know, he just feels like a brother. I mean, I've teased him before as a joke and nothing “physical” happened on his end. So I don't think he likes me either.' 

'He goes through an awful lot of effort to be “just friends,” just saying.' 

'Yeah, yeah, sure. You have a very filthy mind for the way you look.' 

'It's been said,' she responds with a gleaming smile. You lean back in your chair and cross your arms, looking her up and down. 

'About that.' Her body tenses up every so slightly. 'Your boyfriend is not what I expected at all. I mean, I've seen him pick you up before and he looks quite tough, but he seemed just as awkward as you are.' Tara's eyes flicker around the room a while, seemingly not wanting to explain anything to you, until her phone lights up. She quickly checks the notification and gasps with excitement. 

'Hold that thought, so Kieran just told me they're doing drinks to celebrate Sylus’ move. That means they must be done,' she states in a chipper tone. You raise an eyebrow at the strange change of topic. There's a freaky side to that woman, you're sure of it. 

'So?' 

'So, I'm dropping Kieran off so he can have some drinks but maybe we can have a girls' night,' she suggests. Considering Red Crow isn't posting anything today for once, your evening is completely open. Could be fun to have a quiet night in with Tara. 

'Sure, sounds fun. What are you thinking? Movie, face masks, board game?' 

'All of the above,' she squeals in excitement, 'I'll bring some snacks.' 

'Great, just let me know when you and Kieran are driving over.' 

∘₊✧───────────────────────────────────────✧₊∘ 

To be a good neighbor, you decided to get this Sylus guy a little something as a housewarming gift. Considering they'll be drinking; a bottle of whiskey can never go wrong. Lucky for you, you were gifted a bottle of whiskey a few weeks ago but you know that one is not quite your style. The Writer's Tears single pot still. It's a very nice whiskey and you've had different whiskeys from Writer's Tears before, but you're just not the biggest whiskey drinker. It's expensive too, so it might give a good impression. 

Tara just texted you she's on her way, which means you've got about fifteen minutes before she gets here. You considered waiting for her and Kieran to hand over the gift so it could be in the spirit of "oh, just dropping my friend's boyfriend off" but that’s just weird. Feels like you're a parent dropping your kid off at school and you're not about that. 

So now you're here, in front of the oh-so familiar door that you used to have a key to. Part of you is really curious how the place looks now, another part of you wants to keep the memory of how it used to be in a time capsule. Either way, you've got a present for your neighbor and this interaction could be done within a minute if you do it right. 

You press the doorbell and hear something fall followed by a string of curses. The door opens fast and the person on the other side, who you think is probably Sylus, towers over you. You look up at him with wide eyes and recognize him right away. That man right there is the reason for most of your pleasure and orgasms. Red Crow. 

'What,' he barks. Rude , and not at all what you would've expected. Still, it takes you a second to take all of him in. He’s even taller than you imagined, eyes even more piercing, face even sharper. It's like a fucking God leaning over you and staring down like you're no more than a puny peasant. 

And a switch flicks in your head. 

'Fix your tone,' you huff, 'I'm your neighbor. I thought I'd bring you a housewarming present.' His eyes widen ever so slightly. How you managed to muster up such a bratty tone in the face of who's talked you over the edge more times than you can count is a mystery to you, but it feels kind of nice to see him stunned like this. You hold out the box the whiskey is packaged in towards him. 

His shoulders relax and he does actually fix his face. His features soften a little and his eyes no longer stare at you like you're an intruder. Your heart starts racing, as if your body just now realizes who is in front of you. You beg to the Gods above that your cheeks don't get bright red. A cold shiver goes down your spine when he takes the box from you with a flicker of an amused smile, the box suddenly seeming much smaller in his hands. 'Thank you, that's nice.' 

'No worries. Tara told me you're having a party, so I thought that wouldn't hurt,' you say, trying to sound as casual as possible. He studies your face for a second, searching for the answers to a question he doesn't ask you. 

'You know Tara?' You nod. 

'She's my coworker.' Shit, your voice isn't as steady as it was at the start anymore. You've got this man on a fucking pedestal and he's here, in reach. It's a weird feeling. Your panties are soaked but you're highly put off by the way he greeted you. Still... there are very little appropriate thoughts going on in your head right now. If this was your last day on earth, you'd have this man bend you like a pretzel right here right now in the hallway. 

He nods, amused like a cat playing with its prey. 'Is that right?’ 

'Yes. Whelp, nice meeting you. I'm gonna go back to my place,' you ramble awkwardly and quickly turn to slip back into your own apartment, accidentally slamming the door. How the hell are you going to face Tara now? Your body is going into overdrive. You bet you could cum just hearing your vibrator turn on. However, you can't risk it. Tara has told you Kieran drives like a maniac and always drives if he's sober, which is now. She could be in front of your door any second. 

"Just breathe," you tell yourself, "it's just a man." Yeah, just a man, a man that could fuck you like there's no tomorrow. Shit, your thoughts aren't your friends right now. A cold shower ought to work. Hopefully. 

∘₊✧���──────────────────────────────────────✧₊∘ 

The bottle of whiskey from his neighbor was put on display on his bar cart. He knows the kind and that type of whiskey isn't for parties. Not even small parties like this. He figures it might be a regift or something. No sane person would give a total stranger an expensive whiskey like this. Never mind a stranger who has been a disturbance from the start. 

Then again, they're not really strangers. He saw the look in her eyes. He's seen it before and hasn't been wrong about it yet. It's that "I've seen you naked" look. To be fair, Sylus would've preferred to stay anonymous in this building for a little longer but considering his neighbor is friends with Tara, she probably won't tell anyone what he does. That is, if she knows what her boyfriend Kieran does since he wears a mask in his content. 

But there was more in her eyes. More than just scandal or embarrassment. There was lust. A lot of it. So much so that Sylus feared he might've caused his pants to tent if she would've bit her lip. Best for both of them that she left when she did. 

He runs his hands through his hair in frustration. Normally, he's not one to obsess like this but there was just something about her. Something about how she looked at him, about the way she commanded him to fix his tone. It's been a long damn time since a woman showed that kind of dominance to him and, shit, it turns him on like crazy. 

Maybe, just maybe, he can rub one out real quick. He sits down on his bed and looks down at the bulge in his pants. He truly hopes he didn't look like that before. He hadn't seen her look at it. Besides, would that be so bad? It looked like she wanted him to take her right then and there, and he would have if she asked. Or demanded, he isn't picky. 

A devious thought pops up in his head. He promised his followers he'd record himself getting off if they begged and beg they did. Maybe he could tease her with this as well if she really does watch him. If it wasn't just a look of attraction and intimidation, but recognition. 

He whips out his phone, puts it on his dresser across from the bed pointed at his crotch and upper body with his thighs still visible. His face is just out of frame, not on purpose but he doesn't mind his followers not seeing how flustered one small interaction got him. Not that they'd ever know why, but she would. 

He sits down on the edge of the bed once more to check if everything's in frame when he hears it. The shower. Her shower. So, her bathroom and his are next to each other, which means their bedrooms are probably also next to each other.  

“Good to know,” he thinks to himself, and that's when he hears it. The softest, most muffled of moans coming through the air extractor fan followed by a string of whimpers. Those must be connected to each other. He feels his dick twitch against his pants like it's being chocked, his ears feel like they're burning while a wicked grin plays on his lips. 

And then he presses record. 

∘₊✧───────────────────────────────────────✧₊∘ 

Previous - Next

∘₊✧───────────────────────────────────────✧₊∘ 

[i-am-a-bad-influence-writes]

P*rn ☆  Chapter 1, a familiar stranger

Masterlist Word count: 1.2 k Sylus x Fem!Reader

Summary: You have been following a spicy content creator by the name of Red Crow for some time now. Nothing could’ve prepared you for what would happen when he moves into the apartment next door.

Warning! This story is meant for mature audiences. It contains sex, swear words, porn, smoking, intimate piercings, mentions of drugs, and other mature themes. Do not engage if you are under 18.

Mature content under the cut. No graphic content yet.

∘₊✧───────────────────────────────────────✧₊∘ 

'Did Rafayel find someone to rent my apartment yet,' Zayne questions as he puts two mugs of tea on your coffee table. You shrug in response. 

'Haven't heard anything yet, but knowing him, it'll probably be soon.' Zayne smiles at your sulking expression. He reaches out to ruffle a hand through your hair. You quickly smack his hand away and stare at him with pretend anger. 

'How have you been holding up without me?' That question is loaded, and he knows it. For the past four years, he has been your neighbor. But he has always been much more than that. 

When he noticed you were living on your own, he would sometimes bring over leftovers. Some days you would come home to a note taped on your door with a request to be quiet because he had a long shift and another even longer shift coming up. You started doing the same, but with notices if you had someone over or were doing something that could cause noise. Eventually, you two got to talking and formed a familial relationship. It always felt like you had a big brother looking out for you. 

Ever since he moved to the next city over to work in another hospital, you have missed him tons. Sometimes it hurts when you realize you can't just walk two steps from your front door and be talking to him. Meeting up is even more strenuous than it was before, and you miss him like crazy. It's not just the proximity though, no, it's also that you don't know everything going on in his life anymore. He's doing amazing things, meeting amazing people, helping to make the world a better place, and you barely know the names of his closest colleagues. 

'I'm fine,' but your voice betrays you, trembling throughout your words. Zayne's eyes look worried, and his hand moves to touch your shoulder to comfort you. 'I'm fine, really. Just getting used to being alone in the city again.' 

'You're not alone anymore. You've got Tara, and you get along alright with that new colleague of yours, right? Jeremiah?' 

'I know, it's just...' He reaches out to pull you into his chest. 

'I understand. I miss you too.' 

'I just hope the next person is nice too,' you mumble against his shirt while he gently rubs your back. All this feels so normal, so nice. You're not sure if you'll ever fully get over not living next to Zayne anymore. It was perfect, and now it's gone. You can't blame him though. This was a very important step for his career and you're glad he did it, it just makes you feel like you're stuck in the same place all over again.  

Everything just feels so stagnant, so normal. Like nothing ever changes. You can only tell that time has passed by your growing fingernails and the dust building up on your windowsill... You should really clean. It's been too long. 

∘₊✧───────────────────────────────────────✧₊∘ 

'This is nice,' Luke awes as he walks into Sylus’ new apartment. The place is completely empty and there's a bit of an echo, but he's right. The place is nice. That doesn't mean Sylus has to be happy about it. In fact, he's not even close to being done groaning and whining about being doxed for the third time. 

Sylus grumbles: 'My last place was nice.' Kieran nudges him over the threshold of the apartment. 

'Stop whining you big baby. Shit happens.' Sylus turns to him with a death glare. Kieran rolls his eyes and holds up his hands in defeat. 'Sorry man. There really isn't much else to say about it.' 

Sylus knows damn well that he's right, he's just not ready to admit it. That last place was a little bit special to him. It was the first place he moved into on his own after a long relationship. He knew his job would always be an obstacle in any relationship, but he thought she had gotten over it. She clearly hadn't.  

When his popularity skyrocketed, she left him. Told him she couldn't keep sharing him, no matter how many times he told her there was no one to share him with. She was part of the reason he started doing solo stuff. He even offered her to stop doing it. It wasn't even a big deal to him. That didn't matter to her. 

Luke and Kieran tried to get him back to who he was, yet even they couldn't ignore the fact that he became a little different. He distanced himself, became harsher, became colder. He wasn't particularly rude or anything, just a bit off-putting if you don't know him. 

'Anyway, I'm going to let your neighbor know we're moving you in this week,' Kieran states and quickly leaves the apartment. Luke gives Sylus a look. 

'What,' Sylus snaps at him. 

'Shouldn't you join him?' Sylus raises an eyebrow and crosses his arms. Suddenly, he looks a lot bigger and a lot more intimidating. 

'I just got doxed. Why would I go around introducing myself to everyone?' 

Luke just shrugs. Sylus antics don't do much to him anymore after knowing him so long. 'Fair enough.' 

∘₊✧───────────────────────────────────────✧₊∘ 

The doorbell buzzes. It's ever so slightly longer than the average person would press a doorbell, and so ever so slightly more annoying. Mayorly more annoying because you were just dozing off cuddled up to Zayne on the couch. It has been a long time since that happened. 

You groan and shift, but Zayne tightens his grip. 'Don't go.' His voice is gravelly, tired, a little strained. For a little while you're considering it, but then the bell buzzes a second time. Longer this time. 

'It's just for a second,' you whisper back. He nods and his grip loosens. You get off his chest and quickly shuffle to the front door. When you open it, you have to take a few seconds to digest the picture in front of you. 'Kieran? Why are you here? Does Tara need something?' 

It seems his head short-circuits just like yours has as he takes a few seconds to answer. 'Eh, no. I didn't know you live here. I'm just... I'm helping a friend move in. I'm doing a round to warn people about the noise.' 

'Oh, good to know. Thank you. Who's your friend?' 

'His name is Sylus but he's a pretty private person, so I can't promise you he'll stop by to introduce himself.' 

'Fair enough,' you respond while you think back to how Zayne used to be. It was a similar situation. Took more than half a year before you two would even greet each other when passing in the hallway. 'Well, give Tara my best. I'll probably see you soon.' 

'I will. See ya.' 

'Who was that,' Zayne asks from the couch. 

'Friend of the new neighbor. He's moving in this week.' You grab your phone from the coffee table to check if Rafayel send anything about a new tenant, instead you see a notification from Red Crow's socials. A new post. 

"No smutty chapter this Friday. I have a busy week.   Maybe if you beg, I'll record myself getting off." 

Previous - Next

[i-am-a-bad-influence-writes]

Hit up my request/ask box if u want to be tagged

P*rn ☆  Introduction

Masterlist Word count: 1 k Sylus x Fem!Reader

Summary: You have been following a spicy content creator by the name of Red Crow for some time now. Nothing could’ve prepared you for what would happen when he moves into the apartment next door.

Mature content under the cut. This part is setup. No graphic content yet.

∘₊✧───────────────────────────────────────✧₊∘ 

It's been fucking years! Not by your choice. No, not at all. You just hadn't had the time or the energy, but God do you crave it. It hadn't really bothered you the first year. You had gone on dates regularly, but despite your love for intimacy you need a certain level of connection before you lay down and take it. Sure, you had a few nice connections but no one that managed to turn you on. 

Not like he does. 

Ever since your regular booty call called it off, you started watching some adult content. At first nothing really seemed to call to you. You were flipflopping from category to category as if you were flipping through a magazine, leaving you high and dancing on the edge of full gratification every single time. Sure, you came but it never felt that great. 

Then you found him. 

Tall as a fucking mountain, grey hair, red eyes, sly smile, toned body, strong nose that's ever so slightly crooked. You even remember the little scar under his left eye. But what does it for you, most of all, is his voice. Low and gravely, constantly teasing and commanding. There's something more to it though. When he gets to the edge, it's almost as if he wants someone to take over and it fucking gets you going. Makes your panties go from bone dry to soaking wet in a matter of seconds. 

Worst of all, the man has a TikTok page and a Tumblr page. Neither are all that suggestive. The TikTok has some thirst traps and workout videos, but the Tumblr page is a different story. On there, he reads spicy romance books to his audience. He had tried it before on YouTube but got taken down real fast. Those books, the way his voice picks up and changes with the story. It's truly something magical. You'd almost consider it better content than the videos of him stroking his dick, though you don't mind that those exist at all. 

And today is Friday, which means he's posting a new chapter and there's a possibility of a new video on TikTok. Nothing too riveting but enough to get you going and keep you going for the weekend. You're looking at a long and satisfying weekend with your magic wand. Just one more hour until your shift is done. 

∘₊✧───────────────────────────────────────✧₊∘ 

'Again?!' Sylus’ voice booms through the living room of his apartment. If it were any louder, the walls would shiver. 'I was so fucking careful this time,' he says through gritted teeth. His hand has a strong grasp on his phone, almost snapping the thing in his fit of rage. 

"I don't know what to tell you man. Maybe someone followed you?" Kieran, the ever daft creator that makes spicy content with his friend Luke, tells him in the kindest voice he can must up. He knows just as well as Sylus that the man is impossibly popular. It all happened overnight just a year or two ago when he made a video humping a pillow and groaning praises to a nonexistant partner. Ever since then, he's been making content solo. It's doing much better than his partnered stuff used to.  

It also came with unwanted attention. Sylus lives for the praises and truly feral comments on his socials and spicy content, but this. This goes too far. It's the third time in as many years he's been doxed. If it were a stalked he could go to the police but it seems to be someone different each time. 

Sylus groans and runs a hand through his hair. 'I should move further away this time.' 

"That's the understatement of the century. Just be glad they haven't got your name yet." 

Yet. The word rings in Sylus’ head for a little longer than he would like it to. If those feral women and men got his name, he would never get any peace again. Sure, he was the one that decided to put his face in all those videos and that might've been stupid. It is stupid. Especially for someone who likes his privacy as much as Sylus does. 

"Oh, Luke just said he knows a place for you. He has a friend who owns an apartment ages away from your place. He's been looking for someone to lease it to." 

'I can trust this person?' 

"Yes, for sure. I know this guy too. He's some flamboyant artist that owns too many properties to keep track of who lives where." Sylus sighs, a rumble going through his chest. 

'Fine, get me the contact info.' 

∘₊✧───────────────────────────────────────✧₊∘ 

'You doing anything fun this weekend,' your friend and colleague Tara asks with a sweet smile. You almost spill and tell her, but she's far too pure to understand any of your desires. It'd be better to keep this friendship as wholesome as it is. 

'Nothing much. I don't have any plans for once. I'm probably going to binge that TV show you recommended.' 

'Oooh, tell me what you think about it,' she replies excitedly. At that moment, a car honks, and she looks up. Her lovely boyfriend is waiting for her in the car. 'See you soon,' she says with a quick wave and off she goes. The man even gets out of the car to open the passenger door for her. Such a nice man. He waves to you and you nod back. You know him a little, but he never comes along to any company events or dinners. If you're not mistaken, his name is Kieran. Nice guy. 

You make your way to your car and drive home. Traffic is terrible but uneventful. All you can think about is sitting down on the couch at home and listening to whatever Red Crow has cooked up this time. 

[i-am-a-bad-influence-writes]

P*rn ☆  Introduction

Masterlist Word count: 1 k Sylus x Fem!Reader

Summary: You have been following a spicy content creator by the name of Red Crow for some time now. Nothing could’ve prepared you for what would happen when he moves into the apartment next door.

Warning! This story is meant for mature audiences. It contains sex, swear words, porn, smoking, intimate piercings, mentions of drugs, and other mature themes. Do not engage if you are under 18.

Mature content under the cut. This part is setup. No graphic content yet.

∘₊✧───────────────────────────────────────✧₊∘ 

It's been fucking years! Not by your choice. No, not at all. You just hadn't had the time or the energy, but God do you crave it. It hadn't really bothered you the first year. You had gone on dates regularly, but despite your love for intimacy you need a certain level of connection before you lay down and take it. Sure, you had a few nice connections but no one that managed to turn you on. 

Not like he does. 

Ever since your regular booty call called it off, you started watching some adult content. At first nothing really seemed to call to you. You were flipflopping from category to category as if you were flipping through a magazine, leaving you high and dancing on the edge of full gratification every single time. Sure, you came but it never felt that great. 

Then you found him. 

Tall as a fucking mountain, grey hair, red eyes, sly smile, toned body, strong nose that's ever so slightly crooked. You even remember the little scar under his left eye. But what does it for you, most of all, is his voice. Low and gravely, constantly teasing and commanding. There's something more to it though. When he gets to the edge, it's almost as if he wants someone to take over and it fucking gets you going. Makes your panties go from bone dry to soaking wet in a matter of seconds. 

Worst of all, the man has a TikTok page and a Tumblr page. Neither are all that suggestive. The TikTok has some thirst traps and workout videos, but the Tumblr page is a different story. On there, he reads spicy romance books to his audience. He had tried it before on YouTube but got taken down real fast. Those books, the way his voice picks up and changes with the story. It's truly something magical. You'd almost consider it better content than the videos of him stroking his dick, though you don't mind that those exist at all. 

And today is Friday, which means he's posting a new chapter and there's a possibility of a new video on TikTok. Nothing too riveting but enough to get you going and keep you going for the weekend. You're looking at a long and satisfying weekend with your magic wand. Just one more hour until your shift is done. 

∘₊✧───────────────────────────────────────✧₊∘ 

'Again?!' Sylus’ voice booms through the living room of his apartment. If it were any louder, the walls would shiver. 'I was so fucking careful this time,' he says through gritted teeth. His hand has a strong grasp on his phone, almost snapping the thing in his fit of rage. 

"I don't know what to tell you man. Maybe someone followed you?" Kieran, the ever daft creator that makes spicy content with his friend Luke, tells him in the kindest voice he can must up. He knows just as well as Sylus that the man is impossibly popular. It all happened overnight just a year or two ago when he made a video humping a pillow and groaning praises to a nonexistant partner. Ever since then, he's been making content solo. It's doing much better than his partnered stuff used to.  

It also came with unwanted attention. Sylus lives for the praises and truly feral comments on his socials and spicy content, but this. This goes too far. It's the third time in as many years he's been doxed. If it were a stalked he could go to the police but it seems to be someone different each time. 

Sylus groans and runs a hand through his hair. 'I should move further away this time.' 

"That's the understatement of the century. Just be glad they haven't got your name yet." 

Yet. The word rings in Sylus’ head for a little longer than he would like it to. If those feral women and men got his name, he would never get any peace again. Sure, he was the one that decided to put his face in all those videos and that might've been stupid. It is stupid. Especially for someone who likes his privacy as much as Sylus does. 

"Oh, Luke just said he knows a place for you. He has a friend who owns an apartment ages away from your place. He's been looking for someone to lease it to." 

'I can trust this person?' 

"Yes, for sure. I know this guy too. He's some flamboyant artist that owns too many properties to keep track of who lives where." Sylus sighs, a rumble going through his chest. 

'Fine, get me the contact info.' 

∘₊✧───────────────────────────────────────✧₊∘ 

'You doing anything fun this weekend,' your friend and colleague Tara asks with a sweet smile. You almost spill and tell her, but she's far too pure to understand any of your desires. It'd be better to keep this friendship as wholesome as it is. 

'Nothing much. I don't have any plans for once. I'm probably going to binge that TV show you recommended.' 

'Oooh, tell me what you think about it,' she replies excitedly. At that moment, a car honks, and she looks up. Her lovely boyfriend is waiting for her in the car. 'See you soon,' she says with a quick wave and off she goes. The man even gets out of the car to open the passenger door for her. Such a nice man. He waves to you and you nod back. You know him a little, but he never comes along to any company events or dinners. If you're not mistaken, his name is Kieran. Nice guy. 

You make your way to your car and drive home. Traffic is terrible but uneventful. All you can think about is sitting down on the couch at home and listening to whatever Red Crow has cooked up this time. 

Next

[i-am-a-bad-influence-writes]

Is it strange that I want someone to love me just for me?

As in, I don't want someone to love me because I can provide a child for them, because I am a crucial part in starting a family, because I have a womb and a pretty smile.

I just want someone to love me so selfishly that they don't want to share my love with anyone else.

Maybe it's just because I don't want children, but I have been single forever and I this point I wonder if I am just meant to stay like this.

[i-am-a-bad-influence-writes]

Dutch songs I think you should know

Het regent zonnestralen - Acda en de Munnik

It's raining sunshine

Op een terras ergens in Frankrijk in de zon On a terrace somewhere in France in the sun

Zit een man die het tot gisteren nooit won Sits a man that never won until yesterday

Maar zijn auto vloog hier vlakbij uit de bocht His car flew out of the bend closeby here

Zonder hem zonder Herman Without him, without Herman

Want die had hem net verkocht Because he had just sold it

Herman in de zon op een terras Herman in the sun on a terrace

Leest in 't AD dat 'ie niet meer in leven was Reads in the paper that he isn't alive anymore

Z'n auto was volledig afgebrand His car completely burned down

En de man die hem gekocht had And the man he sold it to

Stond onder zijn naam in de krant Is under his name in the paper

Oh oh oh even rustig ademhalen Oh oh oh, take a calm breath

Oh oh oh lijkt of het regent als altijd Oh oh oh, it seems to rain like normally

Maar het regent en het regent zonnestralen But it's raining and it's raining sunshine

Een week geleden in een park in Amsterdam A week ago in a park in Amsterdam

Had hij zijn leven overzien en schrok zich lam He had overlooked his life and scared himself

Hij was een man wiens leven nu al was bepaald He was a man who's life was already decided

En van al zijn jongensdromen And of all his boy's dreams

Was alleen het oud worden gehaald He had only achieved getting old

Oh oh oh even rustig ademhalen Oh oh oh, take a calm breath

Oh oh oh lijkt of het regent als altijd Oh oh oh, it seems to rain like normally

Maar het regent en het regent zonnestralen But it's raining and it's raining sunshine

Op een bankje in het park kwam het besluit On that bench in the park came the decision

Noem het dapper noem het vluchten maar ik knijp er tussenuit Call it brave call it fleeing but I'm getting out of here

Nu een week geleden en hier zat 'ie dan maar weer Now a week later here he sits

Met meer vrijheid dan hem lief was en nou wist hij het niet meer With more freedom than he could ask for and now he doens't know what to do

Herman leest wel honderd keer de krant Herman reads the paper a hundred times

'T staat er echt pagina achttien zwart omrand It really says so on page eightteen with a black border

Hield 'ie vroeger al zijn meningen en al zijn dromen stil He used to keep his opinions and dreams quiet

Nu is 'ie niets niet niemand nergens meer Now he's nothing no-one nowhere anymore

Kan dus gaan waar 'ie maar wil He can go wherever

Herman rekent af en staat dan op Herman pays and gets up

Hij heeft eindelijk de wind weer in z'n kop He's finnaly got the wind back in his sails

Ik heb een tweede kans gekregen I got a second chance

En da's meer dan ik verdien And that's more than I deserve

Maar als dit het is is dit het But if this is it, this is it

Als dit het is is dit het If this is it, this is it

Als dit het is is dit het If this is it, this is it

En we zullen het wel zien And we shall see

Oh oh oh even rustig ademhalen Oh oh oh, take a calm breath

Oh oh oh lijkt of het regent als altijd Oh oh oh, it seems to rain like normally

Maar het regent en het regent zonnestralen But it's raining and it's raining sunshine

Oh oh oh even rustig ademhalen Oh oh oh, take a calm breath

Oh oh oh lijkt of het regent als altijd Oh oh oh, it seems to rain like normally

Maar het regent en het regent zonnestralen But it's raining and it's raining sunshine

[i-am-a-bad-influence-writes]

Dutch songs I think you should know

Ik wil dansen - Froukje

I want to dance

Ik wil dansen I want to dance

Ik heb de hele dinsdagavond niks om handen Don't got anything to do Tuesday evening

En een tijdje terug lag ik nog te janken And a while back I was lying crying

Maar ik verander But I change

Met de klok mee, weer alleen Along with the clock, alone again

En meteen gooi ik met m'n kansen And I instantly fumble my chances

Maar ik wil dansen nu But I want to dance now

Ik wil huilen in de regen zonder paraplu I want to cry in the rain without umbrella

Zodat niemand kan vermoeden dat het slecht gaat So no one can tell that it's going horrible

Dansend in de club, is het of het weer omslaat Dancing in the club, it's as if the weather changes

Omdat iedereen die met je danst, je toch wel weer vergeet Because everyone that dances with you, will forget you

En ik kan in koelen bloede met m'n tranen en m'n zweet And I can chill blood with my tears and my sweat

Wou verdrinken in m'n woede, niemand weet hier hoe ik heet Want to drown in my rage, no one here knows my name

Mijn gemis maakt mij compleet My missing makes me complete

Want als ik te gelukkig was Because if I were too happy

Was ik leeg, stond m'n hele leven waterpas I would be empty, my whole life stood level

'k Moet huilen om te schrijven, verschuilen om te blijven I need to cry to write, hide to stay

Vanavond moet ik dansen, vanavond moet ik dansen Tonight I need to dance, tonight I need to dance

Ik ben bang voor een nieuwe dag I'm scared of a new dawn

Dus ik dans tot de pijn verzacht So I dance until the pain softens

En ik weet dat hij op me wacht And I know he waits for me

Want de waarheid is hard, maar de avond is zacht Because the truth is rough, but the night is soft

Want als ik hier voor altijd blijf Because if I stay here forever

De club versmelt met het zweet op m'n lijf The club will melt into the sweat on my body

Je kan het leven niet herkansen You can't redo life

Vanavond moet ik dansen, vanavond moet ik dansen Tonight I need to dance, tonight I need to dance

't Wordt later It's getting later

'k Zie een sukkel in de spiegel en ik haat d'r I see an idiot in the mirror and I hate her

Er is iets dat niet wil praten There's something that doens't want to talk

Maar dat is over, voorbij But that'll pass, pass

En als ik niet met de tijd dans, danst zij wel met mij en And if I don't dance with time, she'll dance with me and

Ik moet bewegen I need to move

Ja, dansend in de club vul ik een leegte Yes, dancing in the club fills an emptiness

En een tijdje lang hebben ze gezwegen And they've been quiet a little while

Maar de stemmen in m'n hoofd kom ik tegen But I encounter the voices in my head

Ik heb zweet in m'n handen en pijn in m'n hoofd I've got sweat in my hands and pain in my head

Maar sinds 2001 heeft muziek me verdoofd But music has numbed me since 2001

En ik voel m'n voeten, ze nemen me mee And I feel my feet, they take me with them

Voor ik het weet, is het kwart over twee Before I realize, it's quarter past two

Ik moet dansen I need to dance

Adem in, adem uit Breathe in, breathe out

Adem maar niet, dat verstoort het geluid Don't breathe, that'll ruin the sound

Adem maar niet, want dan kunnen ze horen Don't breathe, 'cause they'll be able to hear

Dat er iets leeft dat ze kunnen verstoren That there's something they can disturb

Ik ben bang voor een nieuwe dag I'm scared of a new dawn

Dus ik dans tot de pijn verzacht So I dance until the pain softens

En ik weet dat hij op me wacht And I know he waits for me

Want de waarheid is hard, maar de avond is zacht Because the truth is rough, but the night is soft

Want als ik hier voor altijd blijf Because if I stay here forever

De club versmelt met het zweet op m'n lijf The club will melt into the sweat on my body

Je kan het leven niet herkansen You can't redo life

Vanavond moet ik dansen, vanavond moet ik dansen Tonight I need to dance, tonight I need to dance

Ik wil dansen I want to dance

Ik heb de hele dinsdagavond niks om handen Don't got anything to do Tuesday evening

En een tijdje terug lag ik nog te janken And a while back I was lying crying

Maar ik verander But I change

Met de klok mee, weer alleen Along with the clock, alone again

En meteen gooi ik met m'n kansen And I instantly fumble my chances

Maar ik wil dansen nu But I want to dance now

Ik wil huilen in de regen zonder paraplu I want to cry in the rain without umbrella

Zodat niemand kan vermoeden dat het slecht gaat So no one can tell that it's going horrible

(Slecht gaat, slecht gaat, slecht gaat, slecht gaat) (going horrid, going horrid, going horrid, going horrid)

Ik ben bang voor een nieuwe dag I'm scared of a new dawn

Dus ik dans tot de pijn verzacht So I dance until the pain softens

En ik weet dat hij op me wacht And I know he waits for me

Met de klok mee, weer alleen Along with the clock, alone again

En meteen gooi ik met m'n kansen And I instantly fumble my chances

(Maar ik wil dansen nu, maar ik wil dansen nu) (But I want to dance now, but I want to dance now)

(Maar ik wil dansen nu, maar ik wil dansen nu) (But I want to dance now, but I want to dance now)

(Maar ik wil dansen nu) (But I want to dance now)

Vanavond moet ik dansen, vanavond moet ik dansen Tonight I need to dance, tonight I need to dance

Ik ben bang voor een nieuwe dag I'm scared of a new dawn

Dus ik dans tot de pijn verzacht So I dance until the pain softens

En ik weet dat hij op me wacht And I know he waits for me

Want de waarheid is hard, maar de avond is zacht Because the truth is rough, but the night is soft

Want als ik hier voor altijd blijf Because if I stay here forever

De club versmelt met het zweet op m'n lijf The club will melt into the sweat on my body

Je kan het leven niet herkansen You can't redo life

Vanavond moet ik dansen, vanavond moet ik dansen Tonight I need to dance, tonight I need to dance

Je kan het leven niet herkansen You can't redo life

Vanavond moet ik dansen, vanavond moet ik dansen Tonight I need to dance, tonight I need to dance

Ik wil dansen (ik wil, ik wil) I want to dance (I want, I want)

Ik wil dansen (ik wil, ik wil) I want to dance (I want, I want)

Ik wil dansen I want to dance

Je kan het leven niet herkansen You can't redo life

Vanavond moet ik dansen, vanavond moet ik dansen Tonight I need to dance, tonight I need to dance

[i-am-a-bad-influence-writes]

Dutch songs I think you should know

Zoutelande - BLØF feat. Geike

Zoutelande is the name of a city. Literally translated it means Saltlands.

Niets is beter dan met jou de kou trotseren Nothing's better than facing the cold with you

Er zijn mensen die naar warme landen emigreren There are people that migrate to warm lands

Maar we hebben geen geld in onze koude handen But we don't have any money in our cold hands

Dus we gaan maar naar je ouders in Zoutelande, in Zoutelande So we'll go to your parents in Zoutelande, in Zoutelande

En dan zitten we hier in het oude strandhuis And now we're sitting here in the old beach house

Wat je vertelt, houdt me nuchter en warm What you tell me, keeps me sober and warm

Boven m'n hoofd zie ik de grijze wolken Above my head I see grey clouds

Ik ben blij dat je hier bent, blij dat je hier bent I'm glad you are here, glad you are here

Wij zitten hier in het gammele strandhuis We're sitting here in the rickety beach house

Maakte me toch al nooit uit waar we waren Never really matter to me where we were

We verzuipen onszelf in de drank van je vader We drown ourselves in your father's liquor

Ik ben blij dat je hier bent, blij dat je hier bent I'm glad you're here, glad you're here

Niets is mooier dan met jou het land doorkruisen Nothing's more beautiful than crossing the country with you

Op mistroostige plekken je bij me te hebben To have you with me in disconsolate spots

En te zien dat het goed is, te zien dat we bruisen And to see that it's good, to see that we're fizzing

En met wodka en met bokking tussen reddingsbanden (a-ha) And with vodka and with herring between buoys (a-ha)

En dan zitten we hier in het oude strandhuis And now we're sitting here in the old beach house

Wat je vertelt, houdt me nuchter en warm What you tell me, keeps me sober and warm

Boven m'n hoofd zie ik de grijze wolken Above my head I see grey clouds

Ik ben blij dat je hier bent, blij dat je hier bent I'm glad you are here, glad you are here

Wij zitten hier in het gammele strandhuis We're sitting here in the rickety beach house

Maakte me toch al nooit uit waar we waren Never really matter to me where we were

We verzuipen onszelf in de drank van je vader We drown ourselves in your father's liquor

Ik ben blij dat je hier bent, blij dat je hier bent I'm glad you're here, glad you're here

Ik ben blij dat je hier bent I'm glad you're here

Ik ben blij dat je hier bent I'm glad you're here

Ik ben blij dat je hier bent I'm glad you're here

Ik ben blij dat je hier bent I'm glad you're here

En dan zitten we hier in het oude strandhuis And now we're sitting here in the old beach house

Wat je vertelt, houdt me nuchter en warm What you tell me, keeps me sober and warm

Boven m'n hoofd zie ik de grijze wolken Above my head I see grey clouds

Ik ben blij dat je hier bent, blij dat je hier bent I'm glad you are here, glad you are here

Ik ben blij dat je hier bent I'm glad you're here

Ik ben blij dat je hier bent I'm glad you're here

Ik ben blij dat je hier bent I'm glad you're here

Wij zitten hier in het gammele strandhuis We're sitting here in the rickety beach house

Maakte me toch al nooit uit waar we waren Never really matter to me where we were

We verzuipen onszelf in de drank van je vader We drown ourselves in your father's liquor

Ik ben blij dat je hier bent, blij dat je hier bent I'm glad you're here, glad you're here

In Zoutelande

In Zoutelande

[i-am-a-bad-influence-writes]

Dutch songs I think you should know

Ik haat hem voor jou - Froukje & S10

I'll hate him for you

Ik fok het op en kwets mezelf I fuck up and hurt myself

Je kent me toch Jij snapt dat wel You know me, you get it

Was je een drankje dan dronk ik jou puur If you were a drink I would drink you pure

Mijn lieve schat ik ga voor jou door het vuur My love I will go through fire for you

Iemand als jij is voor mij één in miljoen Someone like you is one in a million

Hoe we dit samen doen How we manage this together

Haat je je ex Ik hat hem voor jou Do you hate your ex? I'll hate him for you

Als niemand me wil dan trouw ik met jou If no one wants me, I'll marry you

Hoe het ook loopt met jou word ik oud However things will go I'll grow old with you

Blijf je bij mij Dan blijf ik bij jou (bij jou jij jou) Stay with me I'll stay with you (with you, with you)

Ik weet soms niet hoe vriendschap werkt I don't always know how friendship works

Maar met jou gaat het vanzelf But with you it goes naturally

Neem al je tijd en kijk de kat uit de boom* Take your time to watch what happens

Ik weet allang hoe dat dan werkt in jouw hoofd I already know how it works in your mind

Naar iemand als jij was ik altijd al op zoek I was always looking for someone like you

We kunnen dit samen doen (doen doen) We can do this together (do, do)

Haat je je ex Ik hat hem voor jou Do you hate your ex? I'll hate him for you

Als niemand me wil dan trouw ik met jou If no one wants me, I'll marry you

Hoe het ook loopt met jou word ik oud However things will go I'll grow old with you

Blijf je bij mij Dan blijf ik bij jou (bij jou jij jou) Stay with me I'll stay with you (with you, with you)

*Dutch staying. De kat uit de boom kijken. Litteral translation: Watching the cat out of the tree. Meaning: Waiting for something to happen.

[i-am-a-bad-influence-writes]

Dutch things

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Dutch songs I think you should know

If you've ever heard a Dutch song and wandered what it meant but Google didn't make sense? Let me know.

Zandloper - Typhoon Hourglass

Ik wil dansen - Froukje I want to dance

Ik haat hem voor jou - Froukje & S10 I'll hate him for you

Zoutelande - Blof feat. Geike (a Belgian/Flamish woman) Saltlands

Belle Hélène - Doe Maar

De Bom - Doe Maar The bomb

Op Fietse - Skik On cycle

Zij geloofd in mij - Andre Hazes She believes in me

Slapeloze nachten - The Opposites Sleepless nights

Helemaal naar de klote - The partysquad Completely wasted

Laat me - Ramses Shaffy Leave me

Sterrenstof - De jeugd van tegenwoordig Stardust

Het regent zonnestralen - Acda en de Munnik It's raining sunshine

Stil in mij - Van Dik Hout Quiet inside me

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[i-am-a-bad-influence-writes]

I'm a rabid dirty dog, and I bite Gale

Masterlist Word count: 558 Redemed durge x Gale Read on AO3 Back to the start

Summary: You are dirty, gross, disgusting. All those years you've spend torturing innocent souls and now you're suddenly expected to live a normal life while the terrors of your past have only just started flooding back. You are not normal. You are dirty. And you bite.

'Gale,' you answer, not really looking for another lecture on some obscure thing. Though you had found some peace in listening to his ramblings. He has a nice voice to listen to and the passion with which he talks of one thing or another makes you long for a future. For when you find out your passion. One besides murder.  'You seem miles away. Are you alright?'  'Fine,' you grumble and take a long drink from your goblet, 'just trying to figure out what to do next.'  'Well, if you can't figure it out,' he stammers, turning a bright shade of red, 'I've got an extra room in my tower in Waterdeep.' Is he... flirting? With you? Why would he do that? You are a disgusting, vile being. Nothing deserving of love takes the same shape you are. You should be spit at, thrown out on the street with the rats, treated like the scum you are. Yet this man... is flirting with you. Has he always been flirting with you?  Flirting. It seems such a menial thing. So awfully normal. It's nothing like the treatment you are used to. Sure, you've had sex, but it had never been anything more than a carnal desire for release. Most of your sexual escapades ended in death and you don't want to kill Gale. You figure it's not normal to want to kill a romantic partner.  'Gale, I am dangerous. You don't want me in your tower. What if I snap?' Your argument seems meaningless to him. His eyes don't change, his cheeks are still flush. He almost makes it feel like you're lying. Maybe you wish you were.  'Tav, you have to remember that you are no long Bhaal's chosen. You're free,' he argues with a kind tone, 'sure, it will be a long road to recovery and normalcy, but I am certain you will make it... And I hope you want me to walk that road with you.'  'You are treating me kinder than I am deserving of,' you mumble, moving a bit away from Gale on the log you share in hopes the distance will deter him. But Gale is stubborn, you know that much, so you might just have to push off in a full on sprint to get away from him. To keep him safe.  'Don't start that,' he grumbles and moves closer to you, 'you are deserving of so much more than I can give you. You might just be the strongest person I know and I will not let a day go by where I won't remind you of that. Tav, you truly are a sight to behold. I hope you know that I adore you.' His hand reaches up to touch your cheek, but you bare your teeth out of habit. Strangely, he doesn't pull his hand back. His eyes soften as they meet yours and his hand moves to your cheek. You don't bite and he trusted you wouldn't.  A strange fuzzy feeling moves through you, a rumbling in your chest and a tingle in your belly. Are these romantic feelings? Are you capable of those? It seems you are.  'If I go with you,' Gale's eyes widen in excitement, 'will you promise me to put some sort of spell on me so that I can't hurt you?'  'Anything for you.' 

[i-am-a-bad-influence-writes]

I'm a rabid dirty dog, and I bite Halsin

Masterlist Word count: 722 Redemed durge x Halsin, Astarion, Gale, ??? Read on AO3 Back to the start

Summary: You are dirty, gross, disgusting. All those years you've spend torturing innocent souls and now you're suddenly expected to live a normal life while the terrors of your past have only just started flooding back. You are not normal. You are dirty. And you bite.

'Halsin, sorry, I was miles away,' you say, forcing a small smile on your lips. He looks concerned and takes the goblet from your hand, putting it down beside him. Out of reach for you. Seems the better decision when you think on it. You can't be trusted right now, let alone drunk.  'Are you alright? You seem out of it.' You could lie to him but he looks right through you. Has since the day he joined your journey. So you opt to tell him the truth.  'No, I'm not alright. But I will be.' You try to smile, your eyes pained and strained. Smiling kindly is still so unfamiliar to your lips, to your face, to your mind. He nods, looking down at the ground beneath your feet and he reaches out, grabbing your hand and intertwining his fingers with yours. He brings the back of it to his lips and places the gentles of kisses on it, then he holds it to his chest. You feel his heart thumping in his chest. The little voice banished to the back of your mind tells you to rip it out but the louder voice is quiet, at ease.  'I am here if you need me.'  'I know.' But you don't. You don't know what it's like to have someone in your corner. Whenever you found yourself in a corner, you attacked like a rabid dog. Your eyes avoid Halsin's and you gently pry your hand from his in hopes he won't notice, but he does. Of course he does. His grip tightens and his other hand reaches up to touch your face.  And there it goes. Your vision goes bright red, fear strikes you and you act out of habit. Out of instinct.   You bite his hand. Years of fear and violence made you like this. As your eyes meet his, you feel tears streaming down your face. He still looks kind, gentle. No pity in his eyes, only pain. Pain for what you have been molded into, not for what you are now.  A copper taste fills your mouth, and you feel sick. There's bile in the back of your throat as you gently loosen your jaw and let go of Halsin's hand and you notice he's still holding your hand. Not only that, but his thumb is also gently rubbing on the back of your hand to soothe you.  You want to speak, apologize, curse yourself out for what you have become. Your stomach turns, your body feels ill, you feel dirty. So damn dirty.  'You have nothing to be sorry for,' he tells you in that low, rumbling voice of his. It resonates with you, the kind words settling deep in your bones and starting a little fire in your chest to keep you warm. For the first time in ages you feel... like a person. A person instead of a monster.  Tears keep streaming down your face. You lean your head against Halsin's shoulder. It feels like home. Not the home you had in Bhaal's temple, a real home. A place of comfort and love.  'I fear I may not know how to be..,' you want to continue your sentence, but it doesn't matter. You don't know how to be. You've been in a whirlwind of indulging in impulses without really looking around you and realizing there's a whole world out there. Almost all your life has been spent in those damn sewers.  Halsin's strong arms wrap around you, pulling you close to his body. Heat radiates off him, and you feel as if he's thrown a blanket of comfort over the two of you. 'Maybe you should come with me. Back to Moonrise.'  'I don't trust myself around children.'  'I do,' he says without any trace of doubt in his voice, 'I saw you with Arabella, Mol, and Vanya. I saw how you wanted to help Thaniel, though he is not really a child. You are not evil.'  'But what if I snap again,' you sob, 'I couldn't ever forgive myself if I went on a rampage with all those children around.'  'That's exactly why I trust you. Besides,' he leans in a little closer, his mouth next to your ears, 'I think we've both been denying ourselves a budding relationship. You deserve to be loved.' 

[i-am-a-bad-influence-writes]

I'm a rabid dirty dog, and I bite

Masterlist Word count: 654 Redemed durge x Halsin, Astarion, Gale, ??? Read on AO3

Summary: You are dirty, gross, disgusting. All those years you've spend torturing innocent souls and now you're suddenly expected to live a normal life while the terrors of your past have only just started flooding back. You are not normal. You are dirty. And you bite.

"It's done..." Your mind feels quiet. Strangely so. "What do I do now?"  The people around you are celebrating while you nurse a goblet filled with wine that you have taken all of two sips of. Supposedly, you're a hero. THE hero of Baldur's Gate, a city you used to haunt. There's no quiet corner that you have not spilled blood in. Every silence feels like it's accusing you of your crimes. Every lull in conversation feels like torture. Every kind smile from strangers feels fake and fearful.  Your companions should've left you in Bhaal's temple, let you become what you were made for. That way, they would've had an easy time killing you without feeling blame instead of having to help you reintegrate into the normal world.  With your bloodlust gone, you just feel empty. You tried to build meaningful relationships with the people you travelled with but you could tell they were only kind to you out of fear. You saw how they talked about you behind your back, saw their judgment when you washed off the blood and grime of the day, saw the slight terror in their eyes when you showed how powerful you are. It's a torturous existence.   But what about Astarion? Astarion has good reason to be the way he is. Tortured for two hundred years, forced to live lower than scum, used for his body. He felt powerless. It's only logical he wanted to take that power back from his abuser, but you're glad he didn't. He is so much better than that.  And Gale? He wanted to take power for himself too. But with good reason. Made to be his goddess’ plaything and cast aside when he wanted to prove to her that he could be enough for her. Wanting to overpower her is only natural. You don't blame him and, as with Astarion, you're glad he didn't follow through.  So what about Shadowheart? Another soul tortured by a goddess. Taken and made to believe a false reality. She was stubborn but you could tell from the start that it wasn't who she was meant to be. She's much kinder than that and you were right.  Lae’zel was prepared to kill you. And you wish she would have, but she's much better off without Vlaakith. She will make it out and make a better world for her people. Nothing had ever made you prouder than seeing her ride off on that dragon. She is a good person.  All these people went through tremendous amounts of torture and abuse from a higher power. With you, it's the other way around. Almost seems you came out of the womb holding a dagger. Blood, guts, they used to be comforting, calming. Gore silenced your mind, but the silence never stayed long. The others were abused by their gods and leaders, you abused for your god and leaders. You were so good at it that you became Bhaal's chosen. Bhaal's chosen. The murder lord's chosen. You did this to yourself. 

You are not, and will never be, like them.  You're not soft, you have ridges, scars, on your skin. They look disgusting, they mark you of a life you're not living anymore. Constant reminders of the pain you've caused to yourself and others. Your canines are filed sharp and have ripped out the hearts of many. When you look into the mirror, you often wonder if you were kind once. Were you actually born with a dagger in your hand or was your hand forced.  When you look close enough, you can see something in your eye. Something strangely comforting. When you look even closer and inspect your face, you notice you don't look all that intimidating when you smile. But don't smile too brightly or they'll see your canines. 

'Tav?' A kind voice. You snap out of it and look to the person that sat down next to you. 

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Halsin

Astarion [coming soon]

Gale

[i-am-a-bad-influence-writes]

Mortality Defined

Masterlist Word count: 1.6 k Halsin x Reader Read on AO3

Summary: You are a human, Halsin is an elf. Your lifespan is much shorter than his and he wonders if life is worth living if you're not in it.

Writer's note: I don't know why but I still can't post a full work here. I don't know why. Tumblr just doesn't allow me to add any words to these one-shots. If anyone has any solutions for me, please let me know. I'm getting frustrated.

The year changes from sunlit beach days to a sunset of leaves. Halsin always admires this time of year. The dying of the world in anticipation for new life. It's a wonderful thing and something he often ponders on.  A year is an hour in the long, long lifespan of an elf. In Halsin's busy and chaotic life it feels more like a second, but these past weeks travelling with her and the other friends he made felt like centuries. She, so humble and kind, carried the world on her shoulders.  He feels he will never understand her fully. She is human. Where he has already lived 350 years, she will get a 100 if she's lucky. With their way of life, it will probably be less. A human's body dies around them every second of every day after they're done growing.  She was 27 when they embarked on their journey to safe Faerun, a young adult in human years. When he was 27 he was just latching off the helping hands of his parents. She told him she had been living on her own since she was 18.   Now she's 32 and has been living with him since the Absolute was put down. He can tell she's slowly ageing. She is forming some smile lines and little crows feet at the corners of her eyes. Halsin hadn't really thought about elderly people as his kind doesn't visibly age much after a certain point, but then he was confronted with Shadowheart's mother who looked so frail. It suddenly made him realize that she will someday look like that as well.  Even so, there's this thing that is only found in those that are human. The phenomenon of the Impenetrable Human Spirit. A death grip on life, refusal to let go in the direst of times. When all the odds are stacked against you but you refuse to let them define you. Which sounds strange until you meet a few humans in time of war. After he realized that, he understood why so many Flaming Fists are human.  He hopes he'll never have to witness it again but to see someone so fiercely cling onto life while any other would have already perished in the same circumstances is truly a sight. Humans are a force to be reckoned with. Even with their short lifespans, they try to put something worthwhile on this plane. They want to feel accomplished.  'Halsin, dinner's ready,' her angelic voice calls from inside and Halsin snaps out of his trance. 'Did you want to eat outside?' He looks over his shoulder through the open backdoor of their cosy little cottage, straight into the kitchen where she is plating up dinner. She's a wonderful cook, an amazing partner, and a great artist. His days are spent trying to find the best way to worship her being in hopes it'll buy her another year.  'That'd be lovely. Thank you.’ She walks out with two plates and a smile on her face. He takes his plate from her as she sits down on the grass next to him.  'You were so far away all day,' she notes with her smile still on her lips, 'where did your mind go?'  'My heart, you would not want to know.'  'Don't worry me, love. You can tell me.' Halsin takes a second to compose himself, playing with his food for a second. She always tells him everything, what reason does he have to keep his worries to himself? She'll understand. She always does.  'I was pondering your mortality.'  'How so?'  'Well, I have nothing but time, but that is not the same for you. I have lived over three centuries. That's three, maybe four, human lifetimes. You are merely a tenth of my age and yet you feel like an equal.' He looks over to her, a somber smile now plays on her lips.  'That's not all, is it?'  'It is not.'  'Are you worried you will be alone after I pass? That you won't have enough time to know me?'  'Something like that, yes.'  'Something like that?' 

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