#slept 4 hours before school but i got an hour long nap before noon!!

[ii-zi]

No depressing vents/terrible medical updates tonight!!! I'm actually in a v good mood jsjsjs

[chaoshomeschooler]

1/29/21 - 3:40 AM

this is pretty long so here’s a read more

I’ve come to accept the fact that I simply do not operate in the daytime. The past several days I have ended up staying up until 4 saying “I’ll go to sleep soon” while getting nothing done. Then I sleep until some ungodly hour the next day - not like I’m in my bed sleeping until noon. No. I get up, go to work, then doze off at work between customers. Every time I fall asleep at work I get... scared? I hear these clicking sounds and I feel dread while I’m sleeping but I still just kind of sleep. It’s really not fun. But either way, I’ve been getting almost nothing done in the day because I sleep until really late (today I stayed home and I ended up being up for three hours then taking like a four hour nap) and then I get nothing done at night because I keep thinking I’ll go to sleep soon.

So today I’m just staying up all night, getting things done, and hopefully I’ll be so tired that I can get to sleep at a decent hour tomorrow, even if I end up dosing off all morning.

And guess what. It worked. I got an assignment done and I started on my next one. I’m still awake enough that I’m going to go work on a scholarship and a commission after this.

For me everything is about results and not method. Ideally I’d operate during regular hours but ya know - it may not be the right way but it’s the only thing that’s working for me right now.

Oh yeah and I’m actually using my desk for once in my life so I feel like a real student for once lol.

Stu-dna challenge days 27-29:

27. study in groups or study alone?

What’s a group?

JK umm when I used to be in co-ops (Classical Conversations or CC, for the initiated) and that one year I was at the career center I did have several group projects and breakouts in classes - I hated the group projects because either I was the only one who did any work (career center) or I was stuck with someone who hated me/the group was so big it was hard to get anything done (CC). So nah, in most cases I would rather study alone unless it’s with my one friend who actually cares about her grades like I do.

28. do you like the cold? what are your favourite winter activities?

I don’t necessarily like the cold but it’s better than the heat bc you can put on layers or use a space heater - in the heat there’s only so much you can do.

Uhhh my favorite winter activities would really just be anything Christmas related. Just hanging out at home and decorating or baking or making gifts for my friends or anything like that

29. do you have any hobbies?

I find it hard to define hobbies? Like I sew and crochet but that’s also my job. I learned embroidery over the summer and I also write but I don’t have time for either of those things any more.

I also play piano but it’s kind of a school subject due to the like intensity of my learning that (wow I can’t english rn). Cello is more of a hobby for me because I don’t take lessons anymore - but that’s another thing that I don’t have much time for.

spell-studies challenge:

3. Wed. Jan 27: what are you most excited for this semester/challenge?

This isn’t school related but it’s happening this semester - I’m going to go visit Belmont University and my Adult Friends aka my favorite band who all went there are gonna meet up with me there.

I guess describing them as my favorite band makes it sound really unrealistic - they’re a super tiny band and I met them when they were even way less famous - I started talking to them and one of them commissioned something from me etc etc now we talk on and off on social media and whenever they come to my area we hang out. Also they’re not that much older than me I think they’re like 7 or so years older.

4. Thur. Jan 28: Wanna post a work space pic?

I added the pic at the top of the post before I even saw this prompt lol :)

5. Fri. Jan 29: TGIF what’s today’s ~vibe~?

today’s (yesterday’s???) vibe is ✨disappointment✨ I slept way too much and got nothing done yaaayyyyy - so by the time my parents got home (they work like a million hours a day so I don’t get to see them much) I was still working so I couldn’t spend any time with them. I’ve been trying to spend more time with them bc I’m graduating this spring/summer (*barf*)

but the vibe going into the rest of today is ✨fuck you you better get some shit done and tire yourself out so you can go to sleep fuck you and your bad habits✨

[lunasilvermorny]

The Summer of Muggles

It’s finally here - and it was all my idea!

Kidding...

First of all - I’m so glad to see that anyone is that invested in anything related to my headcanon ^^ So thanks anon for giving me the motivation to finally make that post!

That being said...Here’s the thing.

When I made the "Summer of Muggles", it was just something I made for myself, to figure things out, so it involved zero research. And as someone who's never personally been to the UK, I probably got a lot of things wrong and Americanized the hell out of everything. Anyway, for me to post it, I need to do a proper research and I'm just not invested enough in it to dedicate the time and energy that will make it happen.

That means that the full thing will just stay as something I wrote for myself.

However...!

I can summarize it for you. (and by summarize, I mean - make a very long and detailed post about it.)

(I realized that the drawing I made about the Summer of Muggles is almost a year old, so I’ve decided to redraw it... It’s really encouraging to see how much I’ve improved since last year.)

0. Introduction:

For Luna's 14th birthday (it's in December, so she was still in her 4th year), her mother bought her a car that Luna named Oliver. Luna's muggle grandma has taught her how to drive (the first time she let her sit behind the wheel was when she was only 8 y.o.!), and she really loves muggle technology in general, so it was the perfect gift for her.

When Luna came back for the summer vacation between her 4th and 5th year, she's decided to go on a road trip across the UK with Oliver. The car had a magical protection that prevented muggle-cops from approaching it, so Luna was able to drive around without a license. She also looked older than she was (mostly because of her height), so she didn't draw any attention to herself whenever she got in and out of the car.

She drove around, especially next to coastlines, parked next to beaches and slept in the car. During her trip she met many muggles, but a selected few actually traveled with her for a portion of it.

You can divide her trip into 4 major sections:

The first week (the adjustment period)

The end of July

The first three days of August

The rest of August

Okay, let’s dive in!

----

1. The first week (around mid-July)

She spent most of the time getting used to sleep in her car and go to public places for basic needs like food, bathroom, laundry etc.

The most memorable event during this week was when she met a group of people that were on their way to a rock-concert when their car broke down. So she gave them a ride and in return they've sneaked her in.

----

2. The end of July

That's when she met Pete and Lynn - fraternal twins that just finished high school and wanted to have a small taste of freedom before going to uni. She met them while she stumbled across a forest party for their graduation.

Most people there were too wasted to notice her, but they saw her almost immediately and started a conversation with her. So they drank, danced and talked for hours. They were also the only muggles that figured out she's a witch. (Well, almost... you’ll see why in the next section.) Lynn has noticed her wand and they told her that their little sister is also a witch that just finished her first year at Hogwarts. After the party was interrupted by the cops, Lynn and Pete asked her if they can join her for the trip, and without any second though she agreed.

They mostly went to parties and got drunk in different places for the rest of the month, and had a lot of fun together.

--

3. The first three days of August

After arriving at a small town and sitting in the local pub, Luna’s identity as a witch was discovered and she had to use Obliviate on the muggles in the pub to keep it a secret. Because they were in the middle or nowhere essentially, a wizard from the Ministry of Magic arrived shortly after to see if a minor used magic there. Luna, Lynn and Pete hid in the car, and once the wizard got in the pub, drove away in a hurry.

Knowing that she needs a strong alibi in case they found out it was her that used magic, Luna left Lynn and Pete with Oliver next to a small forest outside of the town and flew in her owl form to her parents’ house, but when she saw that the wizard got there before her and was already talking to her father, she's decided to fly to the Weasleys instead. She got there in the middle of the night and woke up Bill to ask for his help.

In the early morning the wizard from the Ministry arrived at the Weasleys’ house and was greeted by Luna and Bill, although Mrs. Weasley joined them shortly after he got there. When she saw her son was telling the wizard that Luna has been staying there for more than a week and never left their house, she supported their story, even before she was sure why they're lying about it.

The wizard said that he found a letter addressed to her in the pub (oh right, I forgot to mention that while in the pub, Charlie Brown showed up with a letter from Rowan, and with the whole fuss surrounding her being a witch, she hasn’t noticed when she dropped it.) but Luna kept insisting she was never there.

The wizard left eventually and Luna found out later on that her father made the problem “disappear” and that's why she got away with it.

She stayed there for a couple of hours and gave Mrs. Weasley a not-really-convincing explanation for what happened, but Mrs. Weasley chose to trust her eldest son and his reasons for helping her.

Luna flew back to the road outside the small town where she's left Lynn and Pete with her car, but when she got to the exact spot, they weren’t there anymore. She's spent the rest of the morning searching for them in both her human and owl forms and when she couldn't, she went to a small pub on the side of the road to get some rest. The pub was empty aside for the bartender - Michael, a 20-something y.o. bloke that ran his parents' business when they got too old to do it themselves.

They talked and bonded, and eventually he offered her to sleep in his flat on the second floor, because she looked too exhausted to keep looking for them. But she barely got half an hour of sleep before she's decided to keep searching, and Michael offered to help her. She knew she'd be better off searching in her owl form, but he looked determined to help her, so they've searched together for a few hours. Around noon Luna thanked him for his help but said she preferred to keep searching alone, so she had the chance to cover more ground in her owl form.

Toward the evening she started to lose hope and took a quick nap on a bench in a random bus stop, before she was interrupted by an old lady and her son. She almost lost her wand, but the old lady gave it to her just before she left again.

She kept searching for a few more hours and just before she lost all hope, she went once more to the place where she had left them in the first place and to her surprise, found Lynn sitting next to a tree a few meters from the car.

Lynn told Luna that Pete and her had a huge fight and he's decided to go to Wales alone (because that's where they were heading) and Lynn went to a nearby town to sleep, but got stuck with the car because the gas ran out, and by the time she got back to the same point, Luna already gave up on the idea that they might still be there.

When Luna suggested they should just keep going, Lynn told her she's too tried and they both went back to Michael's pub to get some rest. But instead of sleeping they've spent the entire night drinking and talking with him and when Lynn finally fell asleep around dawn, Michael asked Luna to join them on their trip, since Pete’s spot has opened.

--

4. The rest of August

The three had great chemistry and spent most of the time like before- partying and drinking, only that with Michael there, they also went camping more. Lynn and Michael almost became a thing, which made being around them awkward, then it didn't work out, which made being around them even more awkward, but after a few days it went back to normal.

They went to the northernmost point in Scotland before they turned back to England, but kept driving past London and went to the southernmost point in England. There they met Connor, a rich young bloke that celebrated his financial freedom with a huge party on the beach.

During the night he made a very negative impression on Luna and Michael, but after he sobered up in the morning he offered them to come visit him in Brighton, where he'll make it up to him. Michael was against it, but both Luna and Lynn were intrigued and they've decided it will be the last place they visit before they head back home.

They partied with Connor for a few days and Lynn's decided to stay with Connor, while Luna and Michael headed toward London.

Luna dropped him at the train station and planned to go home, but when she stood outside of her house, already prepared to open the door and get in, she's decided that she wanted to get a proper goodbye from Pete as well and flew to his aunt's house in Wales.

Pete was surprised by the strange owl that knocked on the window, and even more surprised when it turned into Luna. He hugged her and apologized for leaving without a saying anything, and just said that he and Lynn had a huge fight and he couldn't stay there with her anymore. He refused to get into the details but showed concern for his sister’s safety and reassured Luna that they tend to have huge fights like this a lot and they'll make up "sometime soon."

--

After that Luna really went back home - and that's the end of the Summer of Muggles.

If you think that was long, the original post was ~30 pages long in MS Word, so... I actually summarized it. (Who know I was capable of it? Not me.)

[impossible-rat-babies]

Pollux with the RO of your choice because theres two versions of Pollux jfjasfja!!

XD lori I regret to tell you but there are three versions of pollux floatin around in my brain juice 24/7

But! i’ll do pollux and mason. bc you know. love em

General:

Rate the Ship -   Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? - as long as they’ll tolerate each other jk jk probably for as long as they can? I dunno it’s funky considering pollux is human and mason is like an immortal vampire

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - not all that quickly? like i think even book two, a few months after they’ve met, it’s still really up in the air how they feel about each other. pollux knows he’s got something something more l*ve feelings, but he’s not acknowledging them at all. mmm maybe a bit.

How was their first kiss? - it was unceremonious and not long before they. you know. for the first time with each other. neither of them are romantic enough to put stock in the importance of that “first kiss”

Wedding:

Who proposed? - neither? or pollux just half assed asked mason “hey would you like to get married” one time when they were laying in bed

Who is the best man/men? - (s)nate

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - ava n farrah bc farrah wasn’t going to pass up the chance to be a brides maid what the fjuck.

Who did the most planning? - neither of them. pollux had things he wanted and mason went along with what he wanted

Who stressed the most? - pollux, but only like. mildly stressed.

How fancy was the ceremony? -

Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - I dunno, but pollux wishes that his dad would’ve been able to be there. he does let rebecca walk him down the aisle and she’s like “i s2g im not crying leave me alone.”

Sex:

Who is on top? - ehhh depends on how they’re feeling, but 70/30 it’s mason

Who is the one to instigate things? - mason 9/10

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - ehhh depends on how much they wanna like. spend time doing things. sometimes it’s twenty minutes, other times it’s an hour

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - they both have fun, that’s what it all comes down to *wink wink nudge nudge*

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - one, maybe two? it’d be a complicated time for pollux to have kids + it’d be an sorta half planned kiddo. tbh any kiddos they would have would end up being raised by UB as much as them

How many children will they adopt? - none

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - pollux

Who is the stricter parent? - pollux, but only marginally. they’d be interesting parents to say the least.

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - neither? i dunno, ava would be the one who would stop them from doing stupid stuff.

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - mason

Who is the more loved parent? - neither? mason would be the parent they’d go to to get away with doing supposedly bad things

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? - rebecca

Who cried the most at graduation? - neither

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - oh the both of them for sure

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - pollux

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - mason, but he doesn’t eat much/if at all so his choice in food is moot

Who does the grocery shopping? - both! pollux drags mason along with him not to help, but to spend time together

How often do they bake desserts? - pollux bakes almost every other day, so there’s always assorted baked good and deserts around

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - pollux has a balanced diet.....some of the time. he still struggles with having good eating habits which mason will pester him about at times

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - mason

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - pollux

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? - neither? pollux by virtue of how he actually cooks

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - mason

Who is really against chores? - mason

Who cleans up after the pets? - pollux

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - .......pollux

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - pollux, mainly bc he got that whole “anxiety over having company over” thing

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - mason

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - pollux

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - both! they like going out to the middle of nowhere nature trails

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - pollux has a few wreaths, but beyond that they don’t decorate much.

What are their goals for the relationship? - pollux wants something that is more than just sleeping together and having fun. he’s old enough and been through enough with different relationships, from bobby to [redacted], and he’s more into having the complicated bits. maybe later on it’s just being happy with each other and enjoying the time they have--being a couple in love.

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - pollux. he’s an insomniac and struggles with night terrors and ptsd, so he sleeps when he can. he’s most definitely slept most of the day away at the warehouse between taking naps and the like. he spent a good week and a half at the warehouse because he was just stuck between insomnia and terrible night terrors that he didn’t feel safe, so he just. lived at the warehouse for a week.

Who plays the most pranks? - pollux! mason pays it back in full though

[singingaboutwishingx]

Sneezing and Screaming and Cries, Oh My (Jacques Snicket x Olivia Caliban fic)

Monday, 3:57 p.m.

After two days in the hospital, Olivia and Jacques were home— with a new addition. Delilah Jane Snicket-Caliban had been born on Saturday, a healthy, beautiful baby. 

Kit and Jacquelyn rushed to them as soon as they walked through the door, taking suitcases and gift bags off their hands. The Baudelaire and Quagmires called out greetings but stayed where they were as not to crowd Jacques and Olivia. 

Olivia gently sat down on the couch, still holding Delilah. Jacques sat on one side and Kit sat on the other, cooing at the baby. Jacquelyn perched herself on the arm of the sofa next to Kit.  

“You can come see her now, kids,” Olivia said, smiling softly. The children walked around to the back of the couch, looking at Delilah for the second time ever. 

“She’s beautiful,” Duncan said quietly. 

“She looks very healthy,” Klaus added. 

“Delilah Jane came home today/‘We love her so’ is all we can say,” Isadora ad-libbed. 

“Iz, that’s adorable! And very true,” Kit replied. She turned back to Jacques and Olivia. “You two are probably exhausted. You should get some rest while we take care of Delilah for a bit.” 

“Kit, is this just an excuse for you to hold my baby for an hour?” 

“Absolutely.” The two women grinned at each other. “But seriously, giving birth is hard stuff. Go take a nap, Liv.”

Olivia sighed and acquiesced, handing Delilah to Kit. She and Jacques practically dragged themselves up the stairs towards their bedroom. 

“Wow, they really did need that.” Quigley was surprised; they’d seemed fine until then. 

They all just stared at Delilah for a while, taking the absolutely perfect bundle in Kit’s arms. Her big gray eyes blinked back at them until she eventually fell asleep.

“Jacquelyn, you wanna hold her?” 

“Come here, little one,” she whispered as Kit transferred the baby to her. Jacquelyn was absolutely enraptured by the sleeping infant in her arms, as was everyone else. 

  The rest of the day was quiet, interrupted occasionally by Delilah waking up and screaming. Olivia woke up when she screamed and fed her every two hours (she followed parenting books like the Bible), only to go right back to sleep. It was fairly uneventful, that first day, but the peace was much appreciated by everyone. 

••••••••••••••••••••

Tuesday, 3:32 a.m.

Jacques woke up to a crying Delilah and groaned, Olivia  beginning to stir next to him. 

“When was the last time you fed her?” he asked. 

She glanced at the clock. “Half an hour ago, so I know she’s not hungry.” Her voice was thick with sleep, and she yawned. 

“Go back to sleep, love. I’ll get her.” 

“Bless you, Jacques Snicket.” She rolled back over.

Jacques padded over to Delilah’s crib, where she lay screaming at the top of her tiny little lungs. He checked her diaper, and upon finding nothing, gently picked her up, bouncing lightly from side to side. The screaming didn’t let up, so Jacques began to sing a lullaby. 

“Arrorró mi niño                         Arroró mi sól                            Arrorró pedazo                           De mi corazón

Este lindo niño se quiere dormir cierra los ojitos y los vuelve a abrir.

Arrorró mi niño, arrorró mi sol, duérmase pedazo, de mi corazón.” 

Delilah had become silent, stared at him, and fallen asleep again during the span of the song. Jacques laid her down, returning to bed. Olivia was still somewhat conscious. 

“Where did you learn that?” she asked, sounding both groggy and inmpressed. 

“I went to Peru for a mission, and the people I stayed with had a baby. The mother sang this to him all the time. The song just kind of stayed with me.” 

“It was wonderful. Thank you.”

They fell back asleep, holding hands. 

••••••••••••••••••••

Wednesday, 12:24 p.m.

Delilah had been sneezing all morning, and Olivia was worried. She had been obsessively flipping through her parenting books in between feedings.  

“There’s nothing here about sneezing! What if she’s really sick?” 

“Well,” said Kit, looking at the bassinet from where she was doing their dishes (she’d been doing little things like that all week, and Jacques and Olivia could not have been more grateful), “maybe we should just use that nose sucker thing. That should clear out any snot she’s producing. And sometimes I think they just sneeze to clear out any dust or anything. Lemony sneezed a ton as a baby, and he turned out fine.”

“Let’s try that, then.” Olivia grabbed the nasal sucker and braced herself for the inevitable screaming. 

Olivia used it, Delilah wailed, and Kit just stood, looking concerned because she wasn’t really sure how to help. She eventually decided on just returning to the pile of silverware she’d been working through. 

Delilah calmed after a moment and just blinked at Olivia. 

“I think she’s stopped,” Olivia whispered. 

“Why are you whispering?” Kit whispered back. 

“I don’t want to jinx it.”

Delilah sneezed. 

••••••••••••••••••••

Thursday, 7:50 a.m.

“Alright kids, time to head out!” Olivia called. She picked up Delilah and walked out the door, followed by the Baudelaires.

Jacques was already outside, waiting to take them to school. Olivia kissed everyone and sent them off, waving. 

She walked back inside. “It’s just you and me today, baby girl,” she cooed. “We’re gonna have fun! Auntie Kit and Auntie Jacquelyn are coming over, and we’ll have tea.” 

Olivia got herself and Delilah ready. She was boiling the water for tea when Kit and Jacquelyn came in. 

“Hello!” Kit sang. “How are my two favorite girls?” 

“Kit, your wife is standing right there,” Olivia laughed.

“My bad, babe,” Kit apologized, kissing Jacquelyn on the cheek. 

“No hard feelings, Delilah’s probably my favorite person in any room.” Jacquelyn smiled back at Kit and placed the basket of muffins they’d brought on the table. 

“Tea’s coming out,” Olivia said, carrying a teapot to the table. “It hasn’t fully steeped yet, so we can sit down and talk for a minute.”

They sat down. “So how has it been going with Delilah?” Jacquelyn asked. “Any firsts?”

Olivia chuckled. “Well, we had our first spit-up on Tuesday; that was about as pleasant as you’d imagine. And I saw her smile in her sleep for the first time, although I think it was just gas.” 

Jacquelyn shrugged. “Take what you can get, I guess.”

The conversation eventually drifted away from Delilah and are you two thinking of having any more babies? (they weren’t), and before they knew it, it was noon. Kit glanced at the clock. 

“Jac, we have to leave soon. I have to work at one, and I think Poe might fire you if you keep missing.” 

“Oh, he won’t. He’s too dull. I just tell him that he’s authorized my leave and after a confused minute he shrugs and takes it for granted.”

“Alright, then. But we really should be going. Keep the muffins, Olivia. You guys need them more than we do.” They rose and began to clear off the table.

“Are you sure? You’ve been helping an awful lot this week; I don’t want to overstay my welcome.” 

“Olivia, you are my sister-in-law. This is my first blood niece. I’m helping whether you like it or not.” 

“If you say so, Kit. Thank you. I love you girls,” she said, pulling the both of them into a hug. 

“We love you too, honey,” Kit said.

“Bye, Olivia. Bye, Delilah!” Jacquelyn called as they walked out the door.

Olivia closed the door and walked back over to the bassinet. Delilah was sound asleep, her little face no longer screwed up, but relaxed and peaceful. Olivia just stood and watched her baby for a while, trying to comprehend the fact that she had made this perfect girl. 

“Delilah, Delilah, Delilah. I love you, little girl.”

••••••••••••••••••••

Friday, 4:45 p.m. 

Jacques and Olivia were snuggling on the couch with Delilah (by order of Kit and Jacquelyn, who had brought the Quagmires over when they came to clean and do dishes) when Violet came into the room, siblings and Quagmires in tow.

“Jacques? Olivia?” she asked. 

“Yes, Violet?” Olivia prompted. 

“Well, we wanted to give you two some, I’m sure, much-needed alone time, so Sunny and Jacquelyn made dinner for you. There’s some leftover breast milk from when you went to the store the other day, so we won’t interrupt you unless something’s wrong.”

Olivia almost cried— these children had all been through so much, and yet they were the most generous people she knew (although it may have been from residual pregnancy hormones).

“Thank you. We would love to.” Jacques’s words were brief, but his eyes truly showed his gratitude. His heart overflowed with emotion for very much the same reason as Olivia’s. 

The children led them to the dining room, where the table was set and laden with dishes of food. Candles have the room a soft glow, and Kit and Jacquelyn were waiting inside. 

“Welcome,” Jacquelyn began, “to a romantic evening. There will be no screaming babies— in the room, at least— and no distractions. You two can enjoy yourselves without having to think about anything but each other. If you’d kindly hand Kit your child, we will exit and you may begin your meal.”

Olivia transferred Delilah to Kit’s arms, and everyone else left. 

“Well, my dear,” Jacques said, pulling out a chair for her, “shall we eat?”

Olivia delicately sat down. “Thank you. We shall.”

They ate, talking about everything  but the children. 

Meanwhile, everyone else watched over Delilah, who slept most of the time. She almost seemed to understand that the screaming should be minimal, seeing as she only cried out twice.

Jacques and Olivia ended up back out with the rest of them after a few hours (they couldn’t bear to be away from the kids for too long). They played board games, laughing and talking all the while.

It was a good evening, Olivia thought as she climbed into bed. I really do have the best family in the world. 

••••••••••••••••••••

Saturday, 1:36 a.m.

Olivia couldn’t sleep.

She was quite confused as to why, considering her severe lack of sleep throughout the past few days. 

Maybe I need to have Jacques sing me that lullaby he’s been singing, she thought.

She laid in bed for a while, trying everything she could think of to fall asleep. After a while, Delilah began to cry, which relieved Olivia greatly. It finally gave her a reason to be awake. 

She slipped out of bed, checking the clock to make sure it wasn’t feeding time. She changed Delilah’s diaper, and the tiny girl still continued to cry. She felt her forehead for a temperature. She seemed a little warm, so Olivia gently unwrapped her blankets. She still cried. 

Olivia decided to sing a lullaby.

“Hush-a-bye, don't you cry, Go to sleepy little baby. When you wake, you shall have, All the pretty little horses.”

She sang simply and quietly, her voice sweet and melodic. Jacques had woken up by then, and gotten up. He got up and wrapped an arm around Olivia. He wove in a beautiful harmony, his voice hushed as well. 

Blacks and bays, dapples and greys, Go to sleepy you little baby,

Hush-a-bye, don't you cry, Go to sleepy little baby. Hush-a-bye, don't you cry, Go to sleepy little baby, When you wake, you shall have, All the pretty little horses.”

Delilah quieted, and her parents ended the song. They both leaned down and kissed her forehead before Olivia gently placed her back in her crib. 

Olivia finally yawned, leading Jacques back to bed. From there, she was able to fall asleep. She slept at last, holding her husband in her arms and her daughter in her mind. 

•••••••••••••••••••• 

Sunday, 6:49 p.m.

Jacques was fixing dinner (or rather, heating up the casserole that Sally had brought over), and the children were taking turns holding Delilah. Everything was okay: no serious issues, no injuries, and a surprisingly low amount of crying. 

The phone rang, so Olivia got up to answer it. “Snicket-Caliban residence, this is Olivia speaking.” 

“Hi, hon.” Kit’s warm voice put a smile on Olivia’s face. “How are you guys? Do you need me or Jacquelyn to come over?” 

She looked adoringly at her four wonderful children. “No, everything’s fine. It’s perfect, really.” 

The smile in Kit’s voice was evident. “I’m glad, Olivia. Truly. But seriously, let us know if you need anything.” 

“Don’t worry. I’ll call you the second we’re in over our heads. Goodbye, Kit.”

“Goodbye, Olivia.”

Olivia hung up the phone and walked into the kitchen, wrapping her arms around Jacques and laying her head on his back. 

“I love our little family,” she murmured. 

“I love them, too. And I love you.”

“I love you, too.” They smiled at each other, at peace with the world. 

  Author’s Note: Sorry this took so long! I got out of school yesterday, and I had tons of tests before that so I wasn’t able to work on this as much. Also, when I was looking at lullabies for Tuesday and Saturday, I found this French one about a guy going to his meighbor’s house in the middle of the night and asking for a pen and idk I just thought it was funny. The lullabies I ended up using are “Arrorró Mi Niño” and “All the Pretty Little Horses.”

Requested by Anon

[brokemultidotexe]

Unexpected Pt.11

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Summary: You never expected your trip to Seoul to end up like it does. You didn’t expect to step off the plane and have coffee pour down your shirt. You also didn’t expect the guy to offer to show you around the city. You notice things about him that don’t quite make sense, like how he shows interest but will only see you when he has the time which is at random hours during the day and night. Who knew your only friend in Seoul would turn out to be an international star and just how difficult things could get.

Word Count: 5.4k

Warning: None

Genre: Romance/Friendship

Part: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 6.5 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 10.5 | 11 | 12 |

You looked over to your left and saw that JK had fallen asleep before the two of you made it fifteen minutes into the movie. You shook your head and turned the movie off and decided to wait until he was up to watch it with him. He had been spending a lot more time with you, even if it was only for twenty minutes. It was nice seeing him more but each time you saw him he looked worse than before. You knew something was wrong and had asked him about it, but he told you that he wasn’t ready to talk about it. You dropped it and didn’t ask him again, but you couldn’t help but notice the toll that it was taking on him.

You set a timer on your phone for two hours. You figured it wouldn’t hurt to take a nap with him, because the weird hours of him coming over had your sleep cycle a little jacked up. You didn’t know what his schedule was so you figured two hours was a safe bet and decided to let him sleep. The couch wasn’t very big so it didn’t leave you a lot of room since JK was so tall. It wasn’t the first time he’d fallen asleep and taken up most of the room. Lately he seemed to be falling asleep around you more than usual. You leaned into him and let yourself drift off.

The two hours felt like two seconds because your alarm was going off only moments after you had set it. You opened your eyes and noticed that you were completely laid out on the couch and the warmth that had been there before was gone. You sleepily pushed yourself up into a sitting position.  You wondered if JK had left while you had fallen asleep. You grabbed your phone and turned off the alarm.

“You need to choose a different alarm, that sounds awful.” His voice said from the hall. He walked back into the living room to sit with you. You sleepily curled into his side and he wrapped  an arm around you. He got really quiet so you looked up at him. His worry lines were more prominent and looked lost in thought.

“Hey.” You said softly and he looked down at you. You hadn’t realized just how close the two of you were. You decided not to ask him the burning question you’ve wanted to know the answer to.  So you decided to break the silence. “I’ve noticed you’ve been falling asleep over here more. I’m worried about you. You’re pushing yourself too hard.” You bit your lip.

His eyes bore into yours, “Sleep has been escaping me lately. I guess I just feel comfortable with you, but I am sorry I keep falling asleep instead of spending time with you.”

“It’s still time, and I'm not complaining. It was just an observation that had me worried.”

“I promise, there isn’t anything to worry about. It will pass.” You nodded and he pulled you close and kissed the top of your head. “But unfortunately I do have to head back so I can practice.”

“You’ve been practicing every day. You really should take a break, even if it’s just for a day.” He gave you a smile and told you that he would call you later. You instantly missed the warmth when he left.

You realized you had gotten so used to him being around your apartment and being beside you when you napped or him just being around you in general. That it now felt weird when he wasn’t around, which didn’t make sense. There was no pattern to seeing him, it was basically when he had time and if you weren’t hanging out with Jackson.

At that thought your phone rang and you saw Jackson’s name pop up. You grabbed your phone, “Hey Jackson.”

“Hey, you busy?” you knew it was a nice way of asking if JK was there or not. It wasn’t that the two of them disliked each other...actually you weren’t sure what it was all about and you didn’t feel like trying to figure it out.

“Nope. What’s up?”

“You remember a few weeks ago I told you that if I could get tickets that I'd take you to that BTS concert, well it’s not really a concert but they’re performing. Well, I was able to score some at the last minute and wondered if you wanted to go.” You remembered the conversation, it was the day you bought that beanie for JK. You hadn’t realized that Jackson had been actively looking for tickets, so it kind of surprised you when he asked.

“Sure, I guess. When is it?”

“Tomorrow. It isn’t too far away luckily so we don’t have to travel too far or anything.” He seemed excited and it made you smile. He got excited over the smallest things. The two of you talked about specifics and you told him that you’d be ready to leave by the time he picked you up.

The rest of the night went quickly since you had to do laundry and also clean your apartment, it wasn’t that it was dirty, but you just needed something to do. You were in the middle of switching laundry when your phone went off. You finished up and went to check it. JK had text you.

JK: Hanging with you is 1000000x better than this

You couldn’t help but smile. The dynamic between the two of you had somehow shifted in the last few weeks. The feelings that you’d been fighting so hard against were start to seep through and it scared you. You couldn’t get attached or involved with him. Being attached was already out the window since the two of you had spent a majority of your time in Seoul, together.You never did get a response to your reply so you assumed that he was probably busy again, despite the fact it was two in the morning when he text you. You really wished he would sleep and take better care of himself. You loved dance just as much as he did but he was running himself into the ground.

You finished up what you could and then headed to bed. You really needed to get your sleep schedule back on track. You slept all the way into mid  day.

When you woke up you saw you had a message from JK.

JK: I probably won’t be able to come see you today, but promise me you’ll be completely inconsolable about it.

Y/N: I promise. It’s okay though, I have plans with Jackson. I meant to tell you last night but I forgot, so it works out.

There was no reply to that and honestly you didn’t really expect one. When Jackson was mentioned he always either changed the subject or went radio silent for a little bit before text you or calling you about something else. You knew for a fact that it was jealousy because of his statement the night he put your furniture together.

Boys say that girls are hard to understand but girls don’t even come close to guys and trying to figure out why they do what they do. The next message was Jackson reminding you to be ready by noon so the two of you could head to where the performance was without hitting any traffic. You dressed more for comfort than for fashion, but even you had to admit what you managed to throw together was pretty cute. The weather was still chilly sometimes but it had warmed up significantly than when you first arrived.

Jackson tried to give you a quick rundown on the group along with their names. You couldn’t keep the names straight so eventually he gave up, “Look I only came because you paid for the tickets. Odds are I won’t even like the rest of their songs.” Jackson decided the answer to your statement was to play some of their old songs. It seem they didn’t even stick to a certain type of genre, but it somehow worked for them.

The drive wasn’t too horrible and for the last half hour of it you and Jackson ended up talking about what both of you were like in high school. The both of you had been polar opposite in that time of your life. “Alright sunshine, we’re here.”

You looked up to see a stage off into the distance and a lot of people walking around. There was food and drink stalls, so it was basically a fair...but not. The both of you walked around and got food while waiting for the music to start, which didn’t take long. You heard the MC start talking about BTS and what not. You weren’t really focusing, you were casually walking and watching people freak out and run towards the stage. You rolled your eyes, “You realize this is a boy band right? I haven’t been into a boy band since N’SYNC.”

Jackson laughed, “Why are you so against kpop?”

“It’s not that I'm against it, I guess I just don’t get it. It’s cheesy songs with absolutely no real content. I bet you most of the kpop boy band songs are about love.” you laughed.

“BTS write their own lyrics and they don’t have a lot of love songs, so stop being narrow minded.” He gave you a mock glare, “Just enjoy your time with me and listen to good music.”

“Are you a BTS fanboy?”

Jackson shook his head, “I don’t know if I would call me a fanboy. But I like BTS and their music, they talk about a lot of things other idol groups don’t. They write, compose, and produce a lot of their own music.”

You found that interesting to say the least. Most artists in America didn’t write their own songs, so you figured you should at least respect the fact that they do. You flinched and covered your ears once the screaming started. You could see a line of guys up on the stage now and give a greeting. They didn’t spend much time talking oddly but from where you stood, which was pretty far back, you could see the choreography and you were very impressed. What they were doing wasn’t easy in any sense and the guy in the center was able to do that and sing without his voice wavering. “Damn.”

Jackson had a smug smile, “I told you.”

You stood there and listened to the song and Jackson was right, it wasn’t just a stupid love song. You didn’t move for a while, you ended up watching them dance through a few songs, but your eyes never left the guy that was normally in the center. He danced a lot like JK, which you had always admired.

“Wanna move closer?”

You looked over at Jackson completely forgetting that he was right beside you as you had been sucked into the performance. “Yeah sure, just let me get a drink. I’ll come find you.” Jackson nodded and headed towards the crowd. You went to the nearest stall to grab something with caffeine because you were exhausted. You heard the girl talking in front of you. “God, the way Jungkook moves is down right sinful. The things I would do to him...and his voice, god. He will forever be my bias.”

You bit your lip to keep from laughing at the girl in front of you. You continued to listen as they talked about Jungkook, whichever one that was, and found it quite hilarious...and graphic. Once they got their food and left you took a step up to the stall. “Can I just have a coke?” the person behind the stall went to get it.

You looked over at the stage because one of them had started talking to the crowd, he seemed winded which you couldn’t blame him. Each member started talking but you tuned them out once the person handed you the drink and you gave them cash and told them to just keep the change because you didn’t feel like messing with it.

When you started paying attention again they had moved on to the next song. You weaved through the people while you listened to the music and you couldn’t help but like each song you heard. So maybe Jackson was right about them being different. You would definitely be checking them out later to listen to some of their other songs. It took almost the whole song before you found Jackson dancing by himself in a small pocket in the crowd.

“Is everyone having fun?” everyone screamed in response and you had to cover one of your ears. Fan girls had iron lungs and the pitch of a flying creature when it came to boy bands.

“As you know we’re preparing for our comeback for our next album ‘The Most Beautiful Moment in Life’ and we’re really excited to share it with you. We all contributed on this album so we’re even more excited for you to hear it.”

Another voice picked up where he stopped, “Actually our maknae wrote his first full song which made it on the album.” the screaming was even louder than before, you managed to squeeze into a spot beside Jackson and you asked him to hold your drink while you fixed your boots that you had on that someone had decided to step on while you were walking through the crowd.

“I don’t think we should keep them waiting, do you? Here’s our first performance of ���Save Me’. Let’s do it!” your head popped up at the voice, you heard it enough when you hung out with him but you were certain that JK wasn’t here and was most likely practicing. You were losing your mind and have now come to the point of hearing him when he isn’t around. Maybe you did hang out with him too much.

You thanked Jackson for holding your drink while you listened to the song. You really liked it and the lyrics were amazing, yet again. They had already won you over despite wanting to not be into a boy band. You actually really liked this song and decided that you’d probably add it to your Spotify playlist when it was released. You watched as all seven of them danced so in sync. You were in awe of it before but even more so now since it seemed they were always in sync with every choreography of every song.

When the song stopped all of the people in the group were breathing hard “We hope you enjoyed the song. JK anything you want to add?” the tallest asked.

“Yeah, I hope you enjoyed the song and please show it lots of love.” your heart practically stopped beating, you without a doubt couldn’t mistake that voice for anyone. You looked over at the stage and saw him standing there, your eyes got wide. You’d been watching him this whole time and hadn’t realized it. You didn’t hear anything else that was said after you saw him. It made sense why it seemed like the guy moved a lot like JK did. Your mind was running a thousand miles a minute.

You turned to Jackson “I need to go.”

“What? Why? Is everything okay?” he looked so confused and worried.

“I just need--” you couldn’t even finish your sentence the thought, “I’ll call you.”

You handed him your drink and weaved through the crowd, you faintly heard him calling your name but you kept walking. You needed to get away from the crowd of people. You didn’t really know what emotions you were feeling. As your mind was slowly processing what just happened some of the things in the beginning of your friendship made sense, like the mask. You walked a ways up the street and found a bench to sit on. It was far enough away from people that you felt like you could breathe. JK was an idol and part of you was so frustrated. He didn’t lie, technically, but for some reason you felt a small sense of betrayal. It didn’t make any sense. There were so many emotions that it was hard to identify them.

You weren’t sure how long you’d been sitting there but the crowd had mostly thinned out, so the event must be over. You saw a few SUVs pull up to the curb in your peripheral vision as you leaned back and ran your fingers through your hair. You didn’t know how he had kept this from you for months.

You stood up and stretched, your body aching a bit. This was a sign that you had been sitting there longer than you thought. It was the sound of his laugh that made you turn your head quickly. He was walking with the other people of his group to the SUVs. He was laughing with a few of them but you made eye contact with one person, and it wasn’t JK, it was Jimin the guy that had shown up at the dance studio when JK had taken you there. You were frozen and he seemed to be surprised seeing you standing there. He reached out and stopped JK from walking any further. He looked at Jimin in confusion and pushed him playfully but Jimin hit him in the stomach and tilted his head towards you.

What probably had only been a few seconds felt like minutes. His eyes had looked over at you and your stomach flipped, but this time it was different. It didn’t feel like butterflies, and it made you feel sick to your stomach. Neither of you said anything but what little color he did have in his face had left. Jimin leaned in and said something in JK’s ear and climbed into the SUV. The vehicles didn’t leave but the rest of the people had given the both of you as much privacy as they could.

“Y/N.” he started walking towards you but you put a hand up stopping him from walking any further. You didn’t know if you could have any type of conversation until you had a chance to process everything, you didn’t want to do or say anything rash. Part of you was irritated that he felt like he couldn’t tell you and part of you was hurt he didn’t think that he could trust you, and a million other feelings that you couldn’t quite explain.

“What are you doing here?” his voice shook a little..

You don’t know how you managed it, but Jackson’s name tumbled out. The two of you just continued to stare at each other. You were finally able to find your voice after a moment, “So you’re an idol?”

He looked scared, “Y/N I've been trying to figure out how to tell you. I’ve been going out of my mind trying to come up with some way of telling you that didn’t end badly.”

“So all of this,” you waved your hand around, “is the reason for the weird hours and you finding ways to fit me into your busy schedule while I wait around to see if I'll even get to see you.”

“Don’t say it like that, it has never been like that.” You hadn’t meant for it to come out so harshly, but part of you couldn’t help but feel irritated that you were basically at his beck and call while he lived his idol life. It hadn’t bothered you as much when you thought it was just him and his dance studio, which didn’t make sense, but finding out the real reason made you mad. You were trying your best to keep your emotions in check.

“This is bullshit.” the phrase came out in English which sounded weird after talking in Korean for so long, but you weren't sure how to express how you felt in Korean.

“Look, can we just go talk? I’ll find a way to make it work so we have time.”

Yet again, he had to try and fit you into his schedule, “Actually I'm not sure I can fit you into my schedule.” you bit your lip knowing what you were doing was petty, but you wouldn’t apologize. “I need time to process all of this.” you took a few steps back getting ready to walk away.

“Y/N, please! Why does it matter what my profession is? I’m still the same person, nothing has changed. How I am with you, that’s me. I’m just JK when I'm with you, I'm not an idol, I'm not part of BTS. I’m me.” He was pleading with you and you felt your chest tighten.

“Like I said, I just need some time to process and figure things out.”

“Please don’t shut me out.” he pleaded, but you said nothing. He looked like he was in physical pain and your instinct was to make him feel better, but this was one time that you couldn’t. “Will you text me then? Whatever your decision is, good or bad.”

You nodded, “I gotta go.” you turned and pulled out your phone. You immediately closed all the notifications from Jackson. You got yourself an Uber to take you home, you didn’t care about how much it would cost to take you back. It took everything in you not to look back and see if he was still standing there.

You were sitting on your couch curled up in your blanket watching a movie with Jackson. Truthfully you weren’t even watching it. You’d felt off the entire week and you really missed having JK around. You’d gotten so used to his presence being around all the time that the apartment seemed quiet and lonely without him there. You still hadn’t been able to fully figure out how you felt about everything, instead you’d spent the week doing whatever you could to keep yourself busy. The crazy thing was you knew your emotions didn’t fit the crime, which there wasn’t one.

The TV turned off and you looked up and then over at Jackson who was holding the remote, “You’ve been in your own world for the past week. You’ll barely talk and you won’t tell me what happened at the concert, which was when all of this started.”

You chewed your bottom lip, You couldn’t talk to him about it. JK had a right to his privacy and you didn’t want to cause him any issues. “I can’t talk about it.” you sighed.

“Why?”

“It’s complicated.”

“Can you give me a cliff notes version? Give me something that will at least tell me what's going on. I’m worried about you. You’re never this quiet and you’ve closed yourself off with anything to do with the outside world. You haven’t left your apartment in a week.” You knew that he wasn’t going to drop it. He’d been getting frustrated with you more and more, and you couldn’t blame him. He tried to make you feel better but everything just felt off.

You turned yourself so you were facing him on the couch, “What would you do if you found out someone important to you had kept a huge secret from you?”

He seemed to think about the question, “Depends on how big the secret was.”

“Pretty big. To the point it could change a lot of things.” you started picking at the fringe on your jeans.

“Well, did they have a valid reason?” After a moment he nudged you when you didn’t answer.

“Kinda. That’s the part that’s complicated.”

“Have you talked to them about it?”

You shook your head, “No, I've gone radio silent until I can figure out how I feel about it all.”

“Let me ask you this, does the secret change what you think or feel about that person?” He was watching your every move and it you disliked him reading you so much.

“No, but there’s a lot of factors.”

He sighed, “I’m going to be blunt, is this about JK?” You tried so hard not to react but your heart started beating faster and you froze, “That explains a lot.”

“Jackso--”

“I know you care about him in a different way than you care about me. You’ve been miserable all week. Just call him and talk it out.”

“We’re just friends.”

“You suck at lying.” he laughed.

You opened your mouth to argue but there was a knock at your door. You got up off the couch and walked to the front door and opened it. You jumped when you saw JK standing there looking nervous. “JK what are you doing here? I told you I'd call yo--”

“It’s been a week and I've tried so hard to be patient, but I'm going out of my mind Y/N.” he rushed out.

“JK, now isn’t a good time. I’ll ca--”

“Actually it’s a perfect time you t--holy shit!” you spun around and saw Jackson standing there with his jacket getting ready to leave. You looked back at JK who had taken his mask off to talk to you. He looked startled and your mind was completely blank on what you should do or say. “You’re Jungkook.” he said shocked.

All three of you stood there awkwardly no one knowing what to say. Jackson looked at you, “This explains SO much and why you bolted at the concert. With that being said, I’m going to leave you two to talk things out.” He slid past you but still looked shocked to see JK standing at your front door.

“Jackson you can’t say anything.” You told him before he made it too far.

“I wouldn’t.” he said and then looked at JK, “Don’t let her push you away, she’s been moping around all week.”

“Jackson!” you yelled out.

“What? You both look miserable, so talk it out. Call me if you need me.” He slipped out the door leaving you and JK standing there awkwardly.

“Please just hear me out.” He pleaded with you softly.

You opened the door wider allowing him to come inside. He walked in and headed towards the living room. You followed behind him after shutting the door. He hadn’t taken a seat on the couch like you had expected him to. Instead he was still standing and was fidgeting. “Okay so what do you need to say?”

“Can you at least sit down?”

You nodded and obliged. You took your normal seat at the edge and tucked your feet beneath yourself and waited for him to start. He stood there, “JK?”

“Sorry, I'm just trying to figure out where to start.” he put his hands in his pants pockets before pulling them back out again. “I know you’re mad that I didn’t tell you sooner, and I get that. You have every right to be, but it wasn’t just me that I had to think about. Whenever I decided to tell you, it would then involve the other members. I wanted to tell you so badly, but part of me was worried that if you knew what I did or who I was to the public that things would change. I liked being able to be myself around you and I didn’t want to lose that. I can’t get that anywhere else but the dorms but they’re my brothers, it’s different. With you there wasn’t talk about work it was just me and you hanging out and sometimes that was the only thing that got me through my long days. I know not telling you was messed up, and I'm sorry. I tried to find a way to tell you multiple times ever since you mentioned BTS in your kitchen. I was scared that I would lose you if I told you because I didn’t tell you sooner, and I know that doesn’t make much sense but I didn’t want to lose you. Jimin told me that I needed to tell you because if you found out from anyone but me that it would be worse. I wish I could take back how you found out, not that you did but how it happened. I would do it all over and I would tell you in person so I could explain like I am now.”

You weren’t sure he took a breath at any point during his speech with how fast he was talking, but you were pretty sure you caught every word. You didn’t really think much about the fact that the other people in the group had to be taken into consideration. You felt guilt start to rise up in your chest from not talking to him. You could see the prominent dark circles under his eyes and the fact that he looked like he was going to pass out from exhaustion at any second. “JK…” You weren’t sure what you had planned to say, so his name died on your lips.

He walked around your coffee table and sat down on it across from you so it brought you two closer to each other, “I promise that I will be completely honest about everything from here on out. I talked with everyone the day you found out, once we had gotten back to the dorms. Jimin helped me explain the things I couldn’t put into words because I was still recovering from watching you walk away from me. Jimin was the only person that knew before the hyungs, and while the rest of them were confused at first and there were a lot of questions that I had to answer. I told them that you never pushed for answers I wasn’t willing to give and that you didn’t see me without a mask for the longest time. We talked for the rest of that day about everything and what possibilities there were now that you knew.” He paused and put his hand on your leg, “Y/N I've done everything I can think of. There are limitations to what I can talk to you about and things I can take you with me to. But those limitations are for the other members privacy and there are other things that we can talk about later, but please don’t push me away. Not seeing you or talking to you this whole week was one of the worst things I've had to endure in a long time.”

He sat there and waited for you to say something. “JK I've been trying to figure my emotions about this whole thing for a week. Yes, it sucked knowing that you didn’t trust me enough to tell me. I get not telling me in the beginning but we hang out almost every day and it’s been months. Plus I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that you’re an idol. From what little Jackson told me in the past was that you guys were getting even more popular and that’s intimidating. Hell, I haven’t even had the guts to use Naver to look up BTS. It’s new for me just like it is for you, only you’re a celebrity and a shit ton of people know your name. You should hear the things those girls were saying at that concert.”

His face turned red, which meant he knew what girls thought about him. You’d never think he actually knew with the way he carries himself. “I’ll do whatever, I just don’t want to lose you. You mean a lot to me.”

You gave him a small smile, “You aren’t going to lose me. I still don’t know how I feel about everything and I'm still trying to figure out a lot of things with the new bit of information I have.”

He visibly relaxed, “would you be okay if I stayed for a little bit? I don’t have anything to do today, I honestly thought I'd be trying to convince you all night.”

You nodded, “You’re always welcome here, you know that.”

“Good.” He sat on the couch and leaned back, “Want to watch the movie from the last time I was here?”

You nodded, “Sure.” you got up to go through the stack of DVDs you had. “Hey what was the last thing you remember?” you called out over your shoulder. After a moment of no answer you turned around and JK was passed out on your couch like he always did. You smiled to yourself and got up to grab a blanket and sat beside him and got into a position you were comfortable with and decided to take a nap with him.

AN: I hope there aren’t too many mistakes in there, i tried to proof read it but i didn’t have a lot of time. So i just want to let you know that there are actually 3 other versions of how the reader finds out but i ended up choosing this one so hopefully this will satisfy everyone. I’ve you’ve stayed with the fic until now, you’re a trooper. Future chapters will be longer since I’m not confined into a small area of what the reader can do without finding out. Thank you guys for being patient, i tried my best to get it out as fast as i could without it being complete and total shit. This isn’t the best, but i can deal with the outcome of this one. I hope you at least enjoyed reading it and sorry it’s so long, i debated breaking it up into two chapters but i figured i have tortured you enough. Ugh! Why am i nervous to post this!?

*requests are OPEN*

[adventureswithtyntyn]

5/17-(yoga/rest day) So like I said I slept over at my friends house last night & don’t get me wrong we had fun last night, but this morning I woke up an hour before them & I just wanted to leave omg! I also hate not having a schedule in the morning. I’m just a total morning person and hate wasting the morning like that. Anyway! Eventually I got home around noon & I ate some cereal because I was starving. Eating all those fries & snacks yesterday really made me not feel good today. Just a reminder to myself how much fried foods don’t agree with me. I feel so much better when I eat nutritious foods.

Lunch was some chocolate & bluberry oatmeal, & some eggs w/ cheese & broccoli. It was really good & I was starving. As for my day it was extremely uneventful. I was really tired so I took a 30 minute nap & that helped a lot. A drank 3 cups of coffee which was wayyy too much😂 Around 4 I did an hour yoga practice & it felt really nice. Yoga for an active rest day is one of my favorite things to do. Lots of hip openers which is where I’m the tightest:/ Overall a nice afternoon flow! I had the most amazing dinner… chicken, cherry tomatoes, grilled asparagus (I over cooked it a little tho whoops), salad & rice! I also had some #notpictured corn on the cob! So good! Then we went on a family walk & it was so nice. One of my favorite things about summer is the long walks. The weather lately has been so perfect. Sunny, but cool & just perfect.

Snacks today included: a post yoga snack was a Carmel rice cake + some dark chocolate:) I’m loving these rice cakes and when I go back to school in the fall I will definitely eat them frequently. Then a post walk snack of a little dairy free halo top & some chocolate Chex cereal whoops:) I’m a chocoholic and I have such a sweet tooth & no will power with something sweet before bed! Pretty lazy day, but a good one nonetheless! Whose ready to eat some hills for breakfast tomorrow morning?:) Followed by a bootcamp class woo!!

A few side notes: my shirt is a completely accurate representation of me because I truly am fueled by coffee & cardio. Also I was really feeling the color blue today & my yoga outfit put me in a good mood. I was attempting to flex in my picture, but it didn’t really work out. I love all the summer foods I have been eating & it’s so dang aesthetically pleasing :)

Today I’m thankful for the sun & strength & foods

[litsy-kalyptica]

Loves of My Life

Of polyamory and single fatherhood. (1/?)

AHamilton: My son takes first priority in my life —always from the day of his birth to the day of my death. But if I wasn’t otherwise occupied by my Pip, I would pass the bar in only six months.

And his class partners had not liked him much after that introduction.

But they were in this for the long-run now, bunched together either by fate or the whims of a professor not one of them had seen in person. Five in total, but Alex couldn’t remember their names beyond a slew of arbitrary usernames.

He wondered if he maybe could’ve helped himself by giving his name in that first response. He’d staked his claim on mastery of the program to faceless classmates without even giving his name! That would be it.

Alexander had posted to the discussion board three days ago, and still no response. No one had posted anything yet. Alex wasn’t sure whether he was more worried that his group was avoiding him, or that he’d been bunched with a group of slackers!

Probably the latter.

His phone rang. MARTHA. He flipped it open, pushing down the rush of anxiety. Calm down, Alexander. There’s no telling that she’s calling with bad news.

“Alexander?”

“Hey, how’s my boy?”

“Oh, he’s doing just fine. He’s lying on the sofa, almost falling asleep on his picture book. Poor thing can barely keep his eyes open. Tired and hungry.”

“Okay, tell him I’ll be back soon.” He was already closing his laptop. “Don’t give him any snacks unless they’re on the approved list. He can have some orange juice.” He slipped his hefty laptop into his satchel and chucked the cold coffee into the trash on his way out of the shop. “I’m three blocks away. Ask him to start counting, unless he’s too tired to count to twenty.”

“Will do, honey. I’ll see you in a few minutes.”

Alex tucked his phone back into his jeans and ran a hand over his burning eyes. He had lost track of time again. He’d gotten out of work at five, and wanted to get a bit of coursework done at the cafe before he got home, but suddenly five became seven, and seven became nine. And he was going to miss Pip’s bedtime.

“He’s asleep.”

Alex nodded and stepped quietly inside. In the warm glow of a side table lamp washed over his small son curled into an impossible position on the sofa. How could he have been comfortable like that? Alex tried to pick him up in a such a way that wouldn’t awaken the boy.

He held Pip close against his chest. He’d always adored this boy, but he’d been feeling especially sentimental lately. It was Friday. On Tuesday, Philip would be starting school. Alexander wasn’t sure he was ready for that.

Ideally, father and son wouldn’t spend more than six hours apart at a time. Alex was lucky enough to work within six blocks of the apartment building, and George always brought Pip for lunch. It was always the highlight of his day, and Alex told himself that it was all for Pip’s sake more than his own.

“Thanks again, Martha.” He shifted his hold on his son a bit, trying to keep his computer and the small child from dropping to the floor. His poor laptop would have to go first. “And next time, feel free to call me earlier.”

“I know you’re busy.”

“I’m never too busy to miss Pip’s bedtime.”

She smiled and headed into the kitchen. Alex heard the water running at the sink. “Good night, Alexander.”

“Good night.”

Alexander lived down the hall from the Washingtons, so home was just a short walk away. But even on this very brief journey, Pip started to shift a bit in his arms, face rubbing back and forth against Alex’s shoulder as he started to wake up. “Daddy?”

“Look where we are, Pip. We’re home.” He was just coming up on the door, and kissed his son’s head through a bed of dark curls.

“Time?”

“Bedtime.”

Pip sighed and tucked his head back against Alex’s neck, only to giggle through his exhaustion. “Your neck is itchy, Daddy.”

“Oh no. Pip, I think you need to help me shave.” He dug his key out of his pocket.

“I don’t know how.” He seemed to genuinely lament his inability to help with this.

Alex laughed. “You’re a fast learner.”

Alex got Philip through his evening routine, and the four-year-old climbed into bed a half hour later than usual, but Alex easily relented to reading him a bedtime story. “But only ten minutes tonight.” He set the timer to vibrate against his lap. Pip settled under his green wool blanket, and Alex read aloud from a secondhand copy of James and the Giant Peach.

He always did the voices. It sometimes hurt his throat, but it always made Philip smile.

Pip was asleep by the time the timer went off, but he still gently tucked the boy in and kissed his head, turned the nightlight on, and left the door cracked just a little bit open.

Alex thought that Pip would be just as nervous about school starting as he was, so he dedicated the weekend to doing all sorts of fun things. Most of it was at home: they drew and colored, put together puzzles, read together. They went out to the library and Alex took out eight books at Philip’s request, and carried to heavy stack back to the apartment.

Sunday was usually a day for rest at home, and the only day of the week Philip was allowed to watch TV on his own, while Alexander got some work done in advance of the long week ahead. But they would both be home for Monday, so Alexander pushed that time off a little, and they went to the park after breakfast.

George and Martha would often take Philip to the small asphalt park in the neighborhood, but Alex splurged on a trip to Central Park, followed by a lunch out and a movie in the theater.

Pip was already on the jungle gym by the time Alex sat on a nearby bench. Pip had no trouble making friends. He ran around on the playground with a group of two other boys, both white, and one little black girl. Pip seemed especially friendly toward the girl.

Alex caught the man sitting next to him watching the same group of children as himself, and he smiled. “What I wouldn’t do to have that… again,” he added as an afterthought.

The stranger smiled. “Which one’s yours?”

Alex pointed at the mop-headed ray of sunshine as he ran past the slide, nearly slipping on the woodchips. “Philip, be careful!” But he had a bright grin on his face. “Light of my life.”

“I know the feeling.” Shortly after Philip climbed up the steps to the slide, the same girl with whom he’d been playing came racing up after him, and in a similar childlike fashion she nearly slipped right off.

“Theo!” The man that had previously been sitting next to Alex suddenly rushed over. But the girl, Theo, was all smiles and quickly resumed the game of tag. The man took a slow step backwards, watching after her, before returning to the bench with some uncertainty.

Alex decided to help him lighten up. “They look like they’re having fun. Your daughter?”

“Yeah.” He laughed but without any humor behind it. “I wish sometimes she’d take a moment to slow down. I don’t want her to get hurt.”

Alex couldn’t blame him there, but couldn’t help but think it might be better for both of father and daughter if he could relax a little. He almost voiced as much, but his brain short-circuited when he realized he’d lost track of his son.

“Philip?” he called out, starting to sit up. This seemed to get the other father’s attention, as well, and he stood to join him as Alex set off closer to the playground. “Philip? Pip? Where’d you go?”

“I’m here, Daddy!” Pip popped out from behind one of the walls of the playground set. “Hide-and-seek!”

Alex laughed off his peaked anxiety and ruffled his son’s hair. “Okay, but you can’t be hiding from Daddy, right?”

“Right!”

“How’re you feeling?”

“I’m good!”

“You’ll sleep well tonight.” He laughed, more genuinely this time. Pip giggled and scurried off into the slide as Theo rounded the corner.

Theo’s father was still standing next to him, and Alex caught back up with where they were a minute ago. Only a minute, he thought. “She’ll be fine.”

The man didn’t say anything.

“I’m Alex.”

“Aaron.”

“Nice to meet you.” Alex watched their children playing together some more. The other kids had wandered off to other games. It was just the two of them left in their game.

“We’ll have to arrange a playdate.”

Alex smiled. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… 7… 8… 9…”

Pip let a breath out on ten; slowly, as the doctor had taught him. “You’re getting better at this,” Alex noted with a smile, tucking the inhaler back into his bag.

“School starts this week, Daddy. I’ll carry it myself.”

Alex hummed quietly. Two more days. He just wanted to enjoy it, wanted both of them to enjoy it while they could.

It was around noon, and Alex and Pip sat under a tree so the boy could nap in the shade. Pip used his father’s shin as a pillow —“The boy could sleep anywhere, in any way,” Alex noted— so Alex could pull his laptop out and do some work while his son slept. The less he had to get done during the week, the more time he could spend with Pip in the evenings.

There were two new posts to the group forum: both from the same person, both on the topic he had posed to the group. Alexander was suddenly ecstatic and eager to reply. He looked over the thread. The first post responded directly to his first question (and, Alex would admit, rather intelligently), but the follow-up had less to do with the content Alex had presented.

ABurr: Alexander —you present an interesting argument here, but I get the sense you’re trying to outdo the rest of us at something. Call it a hunch, call it truth, but the way you’ve already been speaking to us on here you seem to think you’re better than the rest of us. Let’s agree to all stay on equal footing in this. I understand, and admire, your resolve to get ahead, but I ask that you make sure it doesn’t amount to showing off.

[greatmar2]

Experiments (Mar Chapter 4)

Elonth Worldbuilding | < Uncertainty | Meets >

After a good night’s rest, Mar continues his learning.

Image by @elektronx​

Read on Dragon Press

3506 words

With a clap of thunder, Mar awoke. A storm had rolled in, and rain drummed against the window veiled behind a curtain. Despite the din outside, the world around him felt - in a way - silent and still. Unnervingly so. Half-awake, his mind sluggishly mulled over what could be the cause of this phenomenon.

The realisation that he may not have woken up in his world caused him to sit bolt-upright, but the jingling of a chain quickly calmed him again. That was what was wrong: the pendant that he had received from Tir was blocking his magic. Thanks to it, he couldn’t sense the energy around him: neither the rain outside nor the electromagnetic din that was part of modern life.

Glancing at the time, he realised it was minutes before his alarm was due to sound. This was the first time he’d slept a full night in… a while. With a yawn and stretch, he clambered out of bed.

He drew back the curtains and was greeted by rain battering against the glass, blown to such a steep angle by the strong wind.

“Oh, forgot I put you there.”

On the sill of the window lay three amber-coloured shiridan crystals. The gems, each about 8 centimetres in diameter, professionally cut and polished, were more expensive than he’d be able to comfortably afford on his own despite them being artificially grown. They had been gifts from his parents a few weeks ago when it was decided that he would be going to study at the Raifal Mage College.

Although he couldn’t sense it now, he was sure that they were happily absorbing energy from the rain and wind pounding against the window. He'd learnt how to do basic magic like this enchantment in school, and done some of his own reading and experimenting whenever the fancy took him. The teaching methods at the college were different to online guides and videos - generally slow and methodical, making certain that students understood the theory surrounding a process or action before they tried it.

He removed the necklace and placed it next to the crystals on the windowsill. As it lost contact with his hand, he was suddenly bombarded by the energy outside. The usual electromagnetic din would have been the equivalent of someone turning the lights on in a dark room, but the storm felt like said room’s walls spontaneously turned into spotlights. It almost made him want to return to huddling under the protective blanket that the pendant provided. He soon acclimatised, however, and the pattering of rain against the window softened. Not because the storm was clearing, but because he had joined the crystals in siphoning the abundant kinetic energy that was outside.

After some time of this, he turned away from the window. He motioned upwards and the three crystals quickly moved towards him, coming to rest in a row floating above his head. He imprinted an enchantment upon them so that they would glow slightly and keep themselves above his head - using his horns to orient themselves. He also set them to use their own energy reserves to do this rather than his. He opened a cupboard and grabbed a couple of clothing items. His college scarf was wrapped neatly around his neck, a band bearing the Sterkvleuel crest was slipped into his left forearm.

Turning to see himself in the mirror, he groaned then removed the band and took down the gems from above his head.

He walked out the door, into the room that was his lounge, study and general living area all in one. At his desk, he spotted a note. After putting the crystals into a compartment of his bag that leant against a table leg, he read the note. He smiled. Grabbing his tablet from where it charged, pressing the unlock button and then using his magic to interact with the capacitive screen, he checked his schedule for the day. Physics, Irikshan’s session, Applied Maths, Thermo Dynamics, Tir’s session, study break and then a Self Defence practical. He could do something with Josh during the study break, but should probably use the time to read over the practical's instructions - his ‘quick nap’ yesterday afternoon ended up lasting until morning. He closed his schedule and opened the message application.

“Busy today. Don’t have Enchantments, but Tir has scheduled to take my last free slot. Gonna be done at 4. What about you?” A flash of electromagnetic energy - almost too brief to distinguish from the rest - and the message had been sent.

Mar turned and headed to his metre-high fridge. He opened it, finding not much else other than the food that Josh had left for him. He dished half of it onto a plate. From his cupboard, he also took a shiridite supplement tablet and a bowl to fill with water to drink.  He took all this to his desk, where he began eating the cold food before quickly spending some energy to heat it.

He stared at the wall, lost in thought as he ate.

A notification sounded from his tablet.

“Got a couple classes in the morning, have a few hours free just before noon, and my shift is in the afternoon as usual. I have a couple surgeries scheduled today. If you don’t have any middays available, we could do something on the weekend, perhaps? Meet at my house, Saturday morning?”

“Sounds good to me.”

Mar navigated out of that chat and opened Carina’s.

“Thank you for the food! It tastes great!”

He closed the message app and opened one for a social media platform he frequented. A thread titled “Tumenzarian scientists have a breakthrough: prototype machine able to manipulate shiridan crystal” was the first that thread greeted him, and quickly grabbed his attention.

Once Mar had finished the meal and cleaned the plate, he picked up his bags, strapping the large belt that held them in place around his chest. He unplugged his tablet and slipped it into its compartment on the left bag. Just before he left the apartment, he remembered to go grab the amulet from Tir and put it in his bag.

“Thank you for your patience, Mar.” Irikshan appeared from inside his office after a few dragons and humans had left. “Strategy and policy meetings have an awful tendency to drag on.”

“Not a problem, Sir. I have plenty to keep me busy.” He motioned to his tablet upon which he had been reading. He packed it away and got up, heading into Irikshan’s spacious office after the old dragon.

The cloak that Irikshan wore flitted from his back and folded itself neatly on a corner of his desk, soon joined by the Kennissoeker family band. His scarf and the jewel of the elder remained on his neck. “When I’ve had the opportunity, I’ve been thinking about yesterday.” He turned from the window to face Mar. “Firstly, I must apologise for… throwing you in the deep end, as the humans would say. I haven’t had time for mentoring many students in my decades as an elder. Those that I have taught have usually been top of their classes. I believe we should work more slowly.”

“No, it’s ok. I am eager to learn. Yesterday was highly beneficial to me.”

“Hmm... I started teaching you about breaking illusions yesterday in the hopes of later learning how you break out of yours and formulating a better way if necessary.” Irikshan sighed. “I guess I succeeded in those objectives at least. ”

“You know how I did it?”

“Mar, even though you were attempting to hide that while I was in your mind, you were still too worried that you’d have to resort to doing that to possibly hide it. You should have told me - anyone - sooner and we could have helped.”

“I’ll be fine now. Slept well last night.”

Irikshan looked Mar in the eyes for several seconds before speaking again. “That amulet you’ve got in your bag. Feels like Rentik’s handiwork. After I talked to her yesterday, she was… distressed that I had not begun your training as soon as you arrived here. Pass it here, please.”

Mar reached into his bag, the world around him plunging into stillness as he touched the chain. He drew out the amulet and gave it to Irikshan. “How come I can still feel your presence when you’re holding it?”

“I’m blocking it.”

“You’re blocking a magic blocker?”

“Well, I earned my grandmaster-rank scarf for a reason.”

“Fair enough.”

“Rentik went over-the-top with the enchantments on this. Even made it track your current status. Most of them will do no harm, but I can remove that part if you’d like?”

“It’s fine, I guess.”

“You probably won’t need it after today,” Irikshan handed back the amulet, “but keep it in case you want it. Shall we begin?”

Mar nodded.

“First: what we do know. Your illusionary worlds seem completely real to anyone inside them. When inside the illusion, the target’s real body is rendered immobile. Any magic they cast in the illusion will not affect the real world. Physical injuries don’t carry over into the real world, and death in there ejects one from the illusion. Psychological effects…?”

Mar looked down.

“At least partially carry over. Illusions of creatures also appear to have minds of their own. You do not seem to be able to project your illusions into the real world, but rather need to transition into this illusionary world. The transition yesterday was rather abrupt. You reported being trapped for long periods of time on a couple occasions. Do you recall how long these sessions felt to be compared to the actual time passed?”

“When they first started, they were more like dreams. I’d fade in and out of them. They’d feel months long, but I only remembered snippets. The first time I got properly trapped, I was there for twelve years before I got out. I woke up in a hospital having, according to the doctors and my coworkers, been in a magic-induced coma with a simultaneously hyperactive mind for four days. After one of the doctors ended up in a coma too when they tried inspecting my mind more closely, they decided to wait for specialists from the college. In the weeks since then I’ve still had them occasionally, and mostly ended them as soon as I could.”

“Hmm. About three orders of magnitude difference in time. Did you see the doctor in the illusionary world at all?”

“I do not recall meeting him, there were lots of humans in this world. He woke up at the same time as me. He avoided me in the real world, so I couldn’t ask him if he’d seen me. I don’t blame him. That wasn’t a pleasant place in my experience.”

“I’ve got plenty more questions about how your ability works, as I am sure you do too. Many that will only be answered through experimentation. First, we need to enter your illusion. For that-”

“I have an idea. It clicked yesterday.” Mar briefly went limp, but then stumbled and caught himself before hitting the floor. “Yep, that worked.”

“Mar! Please be careful. You’re supposed to take this slowly.”

“Sorry. Habit.”

“How did you trigger it?”

“I’m not sure how to put it into words. It would be easier to show you.”

“Ok, but first I want to make some measurements.” He moved to his desk, taking a device from one of the drawers, “Do you mind if I record us with this camera? Also, may I measure how much energy you have available?”

“Sure.” Mar took the three crystals from his bag and placed them in front of him, then yielded to Irikshan’s energy probes, one of which entered the right of his chest.

“Been charging these for a while, I see. Your three crystals are near full charge at about one hundred and seventy-three megajoules. Your heart-crystal has about fifty-six megajoules remaining.” Irikshan made notes on his computer, then pointed a camera at Mar. He walked around his desk and lay down on the floor on the other side of Mar. A small rock floated from his desk and hovered nearby. Mar lay down too, pulling the three crystals closer to his chest.

The walls of the office broke away to reveal a beautiful natural scene, with rolling hills before the pair and great mountains behind them.

“Ok Mar, I want to see if you have any control of what world we go to. Picture this place as you go there.”

Mar waited a second until he sensed Irikshan’s mind touching his before concentrating on the scenery. The world shuddered around the dragons, then he got up.

“Oh, I see. It does indeed have similarities with what I do. It just requires a little more… force.” Irikshan stood up too. “Hah, you brought my floor and furniture too.” Irikshan looked to the computer screen and it turned to face the pair. It no longer had power.

“You did tell me to picture the place.”

“Quick, start a timer on your tablet, then follow me. You can leave your bags.”

Mar complied, then took off in pursuit of the elder dragon who had flown off in the direction of the mountains. After flying for some, Mar spotted a massive waterfall tumbling down the bare cliffs of the mountain. They landed on rocks beside the top of the waterfall. Mar looked out across the hills and down the meandering river.

"Recognise anything," Irikshan asked.

“This place looks kind of like Tumenoord, but different and without any sign of civilisation.”

“I created my illusion based on artists’ renderings of what our homeland would have looked like before civilisation. Back when we were still giant solitary wandering hunters. Before humans forced our kind to band together or face extinction.” Irikshan unleashed a colossal bolt of lightning into the water, causing a massive plume of steam to shoot out. “I was careful to exclude the waterfall in what I showed you, but this looks similar to the renderings. I wonder how you knew to create it. Maybe you subconsciously recognised the scenery that I showed you, or it is perhaps another quirk of your ability. I wonder whether this or the artists’ provide a more accurate representation of what it was like.” Another bolt of lightning arced from Irikshan into the water.

“What are you doing?”

“Draining Rumaga’s heart somewhat.” He motioned to the crystal that hung on a chain around his neck. “Going to see if there any impact on its energy in the real world.”

“As far as I know, there won’t be.”

“Still worth testing. In fact, I think you should head down the waterfall. I’m going to do some landscaping. We should test the permanence of your illusions, even if you do not see what changes I make. I’ll meet you there when I’m done here.”

Mar fooled around in the waters for several minutes - splashing about while the mountain vibrated with the great movements happening above.

When Irikshan finally joined Mar, he brought a giant boulder and planted it firmly into one of the river’s banks some distance away from the bottom of the waterfall. Irikshan made back-and-forth slicing movements with his claws. Layers of the rock sheared off and were deposited in a heap. Mar walked to join him. “Seeing as we have time, do you have any questions?”

“Yaromudr Svetopolk? The lightweaver.”

“Been curious about other illusionists, have you?” Irikshan paused before putting some of the rock back onto the boulder, where it fused together with the boulder once more. “I wish it had been as easy as a web search back then. In the late 19th century, I was one of the masters at the college. I was not the head of any one department, but I worked closely with several of them while I trained some of their best students and pursued my own research. I had none but myself and the scant historical records of other illusionists to teach me about the limits of the possibilities of my ability. I put out the word that I would like to meet any others like me. When I heard of someone from the Volakolian Empire, I became determined to find them.

“As it turned out, finding her was easier than convincing the Volakol to allow me to enter their lands. Even once I had secured permission, it was on the condition that I wouldn't travel without an armed escort everywhere I went. Told me I would have to carry all the guards if I wanted to fly anywhere! They seemed concerned that we Tumenzarians would make a pastime of toppling empires. In retrospect, they were already crumbling on their own.

“Anyways, Yaro had gained a fair amount of recognition as an artist. Travelled from one affluent household to another. Sometimes entire towns would save up to contract her services. She’d weave sunlight into great works that would last entire days. She’d sometimes mix shiridite with paint or thread for more permanent displays that lit up whenever the sun touched them.”

“I saw pictures of some that are still up.” Mar added, “and there’s that one in front of the Tumensuid town hall. My friends and I used to marvel at that when we were kids.” The rock was beginning to take the shape of a city. The roofs of some of the buildings seemed to have a traditional Volakolian style.

“Yes. Her works gave me the idea to anchor my illusions to shiridan crystals. I taught her how to include small ones in her works so they’d last even into the night. We didn’t see eye-to-eye on many things, but we still found it mutually beneficial to cooperate. Granted, she did find it more beneficial than I, but that does not bother me.”

“The page about her said that you two kept in contact until she died fifty years ago. You even performed a light-display at her funeral.”

“Yes. Some Tumenzarian scholars made improvements to the crystal-relay communication system that the Imaaduudin empire had invented. Their use was becoming more widespread, despite the costly set-up and maintenance. These were eventually replaced by electro telegraphy and then radio telegraphy, on account of the machines being targeted for theft far less often and being operable by your average human, not a skilled and therefore costly mage who could also become privy to many secrets.” The rock city had been completed. It was impressively done for one who was no artist. It appeared to be a Volakolian port city, but Mar could not say for sure.

“But what was she like?”

The stone city lit up in an extraordinary display of colour. “In life, arrogant, self-confident, determined and unthankful. The thing with humans is, they’re such fleeting creatures. Fires that, when faced with their own mortality, want to burn bright enough to be remembered long after they’re gone. She had already left her mark but endeavoured to make it greater. However, I do not think she ever truly forgot her origins. I believe she was driven into this outward display. Her outward attitude towards me was likely for fear of ostracization, and she was, in fact, the one who initiated communication with me years after I had returned home. Following her death, the journals of research and the gem containing one of her greatest artworks that she bequeathed to the dragons of Tumenzar also indicated a good measure of gratitude.

“Humans… such fickle, fleeting creatures. Empires rising and falling within one of our lifespans. Yet we wouldn’t be here without them. We believe we have all the time in the world, but in reality neither do we. We Tumenzarians purport to be great innovators, but the humans sparked many of our successes. It is their innovations and advancements that spurred ours as a species, and ours spurred theirs. Even in the times when I was younger, one could say this was for fear of extinction or the desire of conquest. But we might finally be at a time where we can truly say that we work for mutual betterment

“You still have the energy, enthusiasm and determination of your youth. I pray you keep that. I sense the world has once again reached a point of great social change. Questions will be asked. There will be no universally right answers. Cooperation will be the way forward.”

The lights that shone in the stone city danced. The shoreside water gently lapped against the dragons’ feet. In the distance, the waterfall still thundered on.

“That machine in the news?” Mar intoned quizzically.

“With or without that, change will have to come. But technology has had a way of speeding things up. Take it from me. I knew it was a matter of time before someone managed to create something like this, but didn’t expect that to be in my lifetime until a team including some of my past students approached the elders for funding on that project.”

Irikshan turned to Mar and smiled. “But enough of that, we’ve got some experiments to continue. Shall we return to the real world?”

[supernaturalisbae1]

How You Sleep/Cuddle

How you sleep/cuddle and someone catches you and takes pictures of the cute moment

 h/t stands for hometown 

 Scott McCall 

 You were at Scott's house and didn't bother to knock because you had a key, and Scott was expecting you to be there at some point in time that day. You walked in the living room to see he'd fallen asleep on the couch. Shirtless you might add. You couldn't help but stare at the sight and get a little turned on. That was until Scott mumbled "its rude to stare you know." "Not staring...... admiring." You told him while smirking. Then walked over and laid on top of his back. You didn't need a blanket since Scott was like his own freaking furnace. You fell asleep on top of Scott. You don't know how long you slept but it must have been awhile because you were awoken by the click of a camera and opened your eyes to see Stiles and Melissa with cameras giggling like little gossiping school girls. You were snapped out of your thoughts by "y/n you drooled all of my back." Said Scott in a whiny little kid voice. Stiles laughed so hard he fell and Melissa had to sit down.

 Stiles Stilinski 

 You were going on a long trip all the way across country to visit Stiles family that couldn't come to you're wedding. You and Stiles decided to see his family a day after the wedding and then fly down to The France to visit Isaac and go on your honeymoon, the fly back and drive home with John, Stiles father since he went with you to see his family. John was driving at the moment since you and Stiles were both still tired from your wedding the day before. Stiles was in the back seat asleep and you were in the front quietly talking to John. It had been a few hours since you last stopped so you stopped at a gas station to refuel and take a potty break. Stiles shuffled into the bathroom. You giggled when he came out he had a very sleepy face and a little drool on his cheek. His hair was a mess and he was looking at food. When you finally all were back on the road Stiles whined from the back seat "Y/n" he dragged your name out. "I need someone to cuddle." "I'm talking." You tried to tell him but he wouldn't quit so John told you to get some rest and kissed the top of your head before you climbed back there. You laid you're head against Stiles chest and he played with your hair until you both fell asleep. When you woke up, it must have been at least 7 hours later. You heard a bunch of "AWWWWS" and camera's clicking. You and Stiles looked at each other before he said ignore them and held you closer and tried to go back to sleep. "Stiles." You started sweetly knowing you would have to sweet talk your way into him letting go. "I love you and your an amazing husband." He grumbled knowing where this was going. "I really have to pee." You whined. He mumbled something incoherent but let you go and got out of the car and went straight to the couch and fell sleep. 

 Jackson Whittemore 

 You and Jackson liked to cuddle when you sleep. It didn't surprise you because he had always been a very touchy feely person. You guys usually slept with with you're face buried in his neck and him playing with you're hair as he held you tight. This night was like every other night except your parents had come to visit from your h/t. You and Jackson always had a tendency to wake up late in the day since you stayed up late at night. Well you were half asleep when you heard giggles then grunts from beside you then more giggles. Your mother had come up to check on you and thought it was adorable you slept like this, so she took pictures and sent them to everyone she knew. You could tell Jackson was awake and he didn't like people waking him up so you tried to get up to get you mother out, but Jackson had other ideas and kept a tight grip on you. "Mom get out...... and Jackson let goooooooo." You whined but neither really listened because you mom got your dad and Jackson just went back to sleep so you did to. 

 Peter Hale

 There was a pack meeting at Derek's house and you were trying to listen but you were really tired from studying for your college classes, and kept almost falling asleep and even drooling on Peter a little. He absolutely loved seeing you this way because you looked all cute and innocent. He finally gave in and interrupted Derek and said, "Excuse me Derek." To which Derek started glaring at him but shut up. "Y/n spent all night studying and won't quit drooling on me so I'm gonna take her upstairs to let her take a nap." Everyone looked at him. They always saw him as cold and dead in the inside but around you he was a good person. He carried you bridle style. After he laid you down you thanked him and expected him to leave but felt the bed sink in behind you and he curled up next to you. He let you use on of his arms as a pillow and on the other you guys held hands. He fell asleep in the arms of your best friend. He was awoken by the sound of people opening the door but ignored until they started taking pictures. He knew you were dead asleep and wouldn't wake up so he looked at them and gave them all a death glare and eventually they all left but still kept swapping photos and talking about it.

 Isaac Lahey

 I lived with my best friend Isaac and since Derek kicked him out and the McCalls took me in when my single father went into the army and had to move away for awhile. Since there was only one guest bedroom Isaac and I bunked since he was my best friend and we weren't dating...... yet. Isaac and I also had to share a bed but it was really big. It didn't matter that it was big anyways since we almost always cuddled. This time was the same and he slept with his head against my chest. He told me once that it made him feel safe. Like his father couldn't get to him anymore and that if something happened he was right there to protect me. I loved this and let him do it because he was vulnerable and it made my heart break for him because he hates being vulnerable. It was early in the morning when I heard the door open. I'm a light sleeper and Isaac wasn't ever since he moved here so I didnt expect him to wake up. I was going to ignore the door until I heard whispering. Melissa and Lydia were talking the I thought I heard someone call Scott over. They quietly whispered to each other as they tiptoed in. I heard one snap and finally got annoyed and opened my eyes and tried to move to see what they were doing. They all snickered at my actions. "Stop moving....... and get out of here guys." Isaac said to me and then Scott Melissa and Lydia. They snickered again but left.

 Aiden

 It had been a long day at school with two tests and three pop quizzes, and to add on all the stuff going on in the supernatural world. I shared an apartment with Aiden, my boyfriend, Ethan, his twin, and Danny didn't technically live here or pay rent but he stayed at least 3-4 nights a week with his Ethan, since they were boyfriends. It was late at night and tomorrow was Saturday so I just wanted to go to bed and sleep till noon tomorrow. I plopped down next to Aiden on the bed as he was just scrolling through twitter on my phone talking about how he was hotter than all the guys I follow and how I follow to many. I rolled my eyes and took my phone from him. Aiden had a weird thing where he likes to rest his head on my stomach and hold on to my waist. He curled up into my side and like usual did this. I started playing with his hair until he fell asleep. After about an hour of scrolling through Pinterest I fell asleep happily. I wasn't awoken till I heard Ethan and Danny trying not to burst out laughing. I was so tired I didn't even notice how Aiden was sleeping. I heard some pictures being taken then Ethan muttering "my brother is such a perv even when he's asleep." Then I realized what he was talking about as I looked down and Aidens head was on the bed slobbering and his arm was up to top resting on my boob. I woke up completely and glared at Ethan and Danny. I realized Aiden was now awake because I saw him smirk the start massaging my boob. I hit his arm trying to make him let go so they wouldn't hear me moan. They got grossed out and left after they saw me frantically trying to grab the blanket at my feet to cover up. 

Jordan Parrish

 I was at my boyfriend Deputy Jordan Parrish's apartment and it was raining really hard outside. We were inside eating popcorn as he was trying to help me with my algebra homework because I didn't understand it and he was good at algebra. I got a call from my dad, the Sheriff. "Hey sweety, it's raining really hard here and the streets are completely flooded so I want you to stay at Parrish's house for a few days or at least until the water goes down." "Ok Dad it's raining bad here to be safe and tell Stiles I love him. Bye love you." "Love you too sweety." Then he hung up. I hope this wasn't inconveniencing Jordan but my dad didn't seem to care. Probably because he was his boss. And the Sheriff. I went to ask Jordan if I could stay. But he must have noticed because before I could speak he told me "I heard and don't worry I want you to stay I love having you here and it's not like you could even leave." "You are the best most handsome perfect boyfriend in the world." I told him as I walked over and sat on my lap and kissed him. He chuckled. We stayed for about three days together trapped in Jordans apartment before I got another call from my dad saying he was sending Stiles to get me in the morning. Jordan and I fell asleep in his bed with his arms tightly around me from behind and his face in my neck breathing my scent to calm him enough to fall asleep. In the morning I heard Stiles laugh and take a picture of sometimes on his phone. I noticed what he was laughing about when I felt slobber on my neck and in my hair. I kicked him lightly and whined "Joooordaaan you slobbered on meee." He sat up slowly and chuckled as he wiped it the best he could with the blanket. I tried to go back to sleep. "Wait how did you get in" Jordan asked Stiles. "Uhhh I had a key made duh." He says like it was the most normal thing in the world. Jordan just stared at him probably not surprised by my weird brother anymore.

 Derek Hale

 Derek and I shared his loft but the pack was there a lot so we didn't get much alone time. Liam was really tired so I lead him to Derek and I's room and let him sleep on the bed. Derek was not very happy with me because he wanted to take a nap together. "Derek I feel bad for the poor kid he's so young and innocent he shouldn't have to go through this he's just a kid. They all were." I said talking about the rest of the pack. I always felt the motherly instincts and most of the time the pack considered Derek and I the mother and father of the whole group. "And what do you think we were when life hit us in the gut. We all got dealt a crappy hand but we all make it better for each other by having each other's back honey, so don't feel so bad." Derek said as he tried to calm me down. I just nodded and laid down on the couch to try and take a nap. He chuckles "oh no you don't you gave away our bed I'm taking the couch it's not my fault we have no bed." Derek said. "There's enough room for you." I tried to reason with him so I could stay. I patted the spot beside me he gave a skeptical look but came over anyways. He barely fit on the couch and his butt was kinda slipping off but he threw his leg over mine, and I buried my head in his chest. I smiled when I felt out dog, that was practically out baby jump on Derek then the top of the couch to go to sleep. It was the whole family napping on the small couch I thought to myself than fell asleep. When I woke up Derek was already awake and trying to move away without waking me. He whispered sorry but I just smiled at him. Isaac, Lydia, and Allison were all laughing and sharing photos, of what I figured was us on the couch. I smiled when Derek got up and walked away mumbling grumpily something about privacy. 

 Liam Dunbar

 Third person POV

 Liam and Y/n have been dating for a while now, and to get away from all of the supernatural stuff going on, Liam sneaks into her bedroom at night so they can talk and cuddle until they fall asleep. Y/n's parents weren't home when he woke up the next morning so he decided to make her a nice breakfast. ....................... he didn't succeed. Y/n woke up to the smell of something burning and Liam wasn't by her side so she put two and two together and thought he was trying to burn her house down. Sarcasm intended. She shuffled down the stairs in her blanket cocoon, and looked at him trying to make breakfast. He heard her and looked over and gave her puppy dog eyes to try and make her help him. She sighed and walked over to him still half asleep. She just put her arms around his mid section with he blanket and snuggled into his side. She was peaceful until she heard the small snap of a picture being taken. She saw her best friend Isaac standing there smirking. 

 Theo Raeken

 Third person POV

 Theo loved to have random movie nights with his girlfriend to take off the edge of his supernatural life. Honestly y/n loved them to. It was time for them to forget about their worries and spend time in each other's arms. They were at y/n's house since only her twin brother was home. They were watching Finding Nemo for the thousandth time since this was one of y/n's favorite movies. Theo got up and went to get some more popcorn. When he got back his girlfriend had turned her body taking up most of the couch and sighed but then got and idea and set the popcorn her coffee table Theo jumped on y/n and made he squeal. After that he got himself situated in between her legs with his head resting against her chest. Halfway through the movie y/n looked down and just stared at him as he watched the movie. "You know your staring is getting s little creepy." Jackson y/n's brother said to her. She rolled her eyes and cradled his head into her. Jackson grabbed his phone and took a picture for twitter with the caption she wouldn't stop staring so I took a picture so it would last longer😍 

 Brett Talbot 

 You and Brett were newlyweds, and visiting you parents house while the bathroom in your house was redone. Brett was a massive guy so you two had to buy a bed according. Unfortunately in your old room your bed was only a full size and wasn't very long so it was hard to fit you both. You and Brett really had no choice but for you to pretty much lay on top of him which you guys normally wouldn't mind but your old room was in the attic and it was summer so it got really hot adding on to the fact that Brett's a freaking heater of his own. You guys were wearing very little clothing so you wouldn't get as hot and just sprawled out across each other. 

 Third person POV 

 Y/n's sister came up to the attic to wake her sister and Brett for breakfast. When she saw the way they were sleeping she couldn't help but smile and take a picture. Which woke Brett up with his werewolf hearing. "Hey" he said lazily to his sister in law. "Breakfast is ready." She told him knowing he loves food. He peeked right up just as she expected. He didn't even bother to properly wake up his wife. He grabbed he waist sat up and carried her down the stairs through her on the couch and went to eat breakfast while she stared daggers into his scull and he smirked.

 Hey guys I just wanted to know how you feel about the way I set this up. Some of these I used different ways of writing in 1st 2nd and 3 POV so if you guys will message me or comment and tell me what you prefer I will start doing it that way and if enough people tell me they like it one way I will change this entire preference to be like that. Sorry some of these are longer than others it's kinda hard to do some of the pictures and it took me 3 hours to write this but it was worth it. Please tell me what you think and please request!!!

[lowbrowhighbrows-blog]

2017 Homecoming Preliminary Schedule Check back often for updates! (Schedule courtesy of the Sewanee Class of 1917) The Registration Desk at the McGriff Alumni House will be open Thursday, Noon - 5 p.m., Friday, 8 a.m. - 6 p.m. and Saturday, 8 a.m. - Noon BACK THIS YEAR! You asked for it, you got it! SEWANEE TAXI VAN SERVICE ***Just for ALUMNI*** When you need a ride to/from Sewanee and Monteagle, call the dispatch number (provided at registration) Friday and Saturday until 1:30 a.m. ...because the bars close at 2. HOMECOMING 2017 The REGISTRATION DESK at the McGriff Alumni House will be open Thursday, Noon – 5 p.m. and Friday, 8 a.m. – 6 p.m. and Saturday, 8 a.m. – Noon. Your very tired guide will be there to give you your special homecoming gift, which is not - unfortunately - forgiveness of your student loans. Thursday, Nov. 2 8 a.m. Rotary breakfast meeting at the Sewanee Inn. For all alumni Rotarians—join the local club for their regular meeting. If there are any Rotarians in the Class of 1997, we are all pretty impressed. 8:30 a.m. Morning prayer at St. Augustine’s Chapel, provided you remember where that is. 8:30–10 a.m. Campus tour and information session for high school students and families. As a Sewanee alumnus or alumna, you know a great deal about the University, and probably tried to corrupt at least five of those high school students at graduation. If you have college-bound children attending Homecoming with you, plan to attend one of the campus tours and information sessions sponsored by the Office of Admission and stay as far away from alumni under 50 as possible. 9:30 & 11 a.m. Back to the classroom for all the classes you slept through! Dust off your gown and join current Sewanee students as alumni are invited to sit in on one of the regularly scheduled academic classes. Alumni are invited to grab a take-home exam which they were supposed to return three hours ago, why do you do this to us STILL (Sincerely, the Faculty) noon–5 p.m. Registration at the McGriff Alumni House on Georgia Avenue. Make this your first stop on the Domain for Homecoming, after the Lambda Chi House. Pick up your registration packet with your nametag, a schedule of events, list of attendees, maps, and Homecoming gift! (Once again, gift does not include forgiveness of student loans) noon–9 p.m. Hospitality center at the McGriff Alumni House. Hang out between events or just drop in to relax during the day. We’ll have refreshments, restroom facilities, and a great atmosphere to make you feel right at home. Please do not feel so "at home" again that you urinate directly onto or into the pool table. People have to use that, you know. 2–3:30 p.m. Campus tour and information session for high school students and families. As a Sewanee alumnus or alumna, you know a great deal about the University, but if you have college-bound children attending Homecoming with you, plan to attend one of the campus tours and information sessions sponsored by the Office of Admission. Alternate activity: Go on search for various drugs. The Shuttle for Reprobates leaves at 2:30, or not, and goes directly to that one farm in Grundy County. 4 p.m. Evening prayer at St. Augustine’s Chapel. Attend out of guilt. 5 p.m. to Smoke House: Make your second trip in 24 hours to Eagle Liquors. Try as hard as you can to not fall off the Mountain or throw up your Granger, and please do not do both at the same time. Friday, Nov. 3 8 a.m.–6 p.m. Beer and Sun at Lambda Chi with all the people who prayed so hard the night before that they forgot to register for the second day in a row. 8 a.m.–9 p.m. Hospitality Center at the McGriff Alumni House, where the student volunteers are just disgusted with everyone right now. 8, 9, 10, & 11 a.m. More classes you will sleep through, because now it doesn't matter! 8:30 a.m. Morning prayer at St. Augustine’s Chapel. If you make this instead of taking a spontaneous nap at the Hospitality Center, everyone will be very impressed. 9–10:30 a.m. Where was Stirling's Coffee House again? You seriously thought it was right there. S***. It was like RIGHT THERE, you SWEAR. Is that it? No? Do they have a cup of coffee for you? Hey, might as well try. 10:30 a.m. First annual alumni softball game for all softball alumni and their families. Softball field. Marvel at the fact that there were Softball Alumni, other than that intramural game where Dick Strong and Seth were running bases in slow motion while chain-smoking. 1–2:30 p.m. Alumni hike on Caldwell Rim Trail in the upper reaches of Lost Cove. Come hike Sewanee’s newest trail and get a glimpse of the University’s recently-acquired property. To meet for the hike, follow signs to the trail beginning behind the Sewanee Market. (Turn left on Lake O’Donnell Road, turn right on Bob Stewman Road and go to the end for parking). Guided by favorite Professors. Additional alumni hike starts just past the Dairy. Meet at the Christmas Tree Farm. We will continue on until we have doused ourselves in at least three waterfalls and finally reach the cabin with the "CHILI AND CHEEEEEEEEZZZZZZ" graffiti on the inside wall. No professors allowed except Dr. Clark. 1:30–4 p.m. Skinny dipping in Lake Cheston for as long as global warming permits. BYOCFCs. 3 p.m. University and Sewanee cemeteries tour led by James Gipson, C’66, and Assistant University Historian Professor Jerry Smith. Meet at the corner of Georgia Avenue and Kennerly Lane. Alternate option: Amanda Wolfe (c'97) offers a tour of her favorite cemeteries where she used to write bad poetry and cry about Ben Roosevelt. 3:30–6 p.m. Reception for forestry, geology, and natural resources alumni, family, and friends in Snowden Atrium. If you know anyone who majored in any of these things, well... good on those mofos. :/ They're probably gonna go, like, rapel off the side of a cool lookout point, all laughing and giggling all the way. Whatever. Like we need you. :'( 3:30-6 p.m. Burning the last of the furniture at Lambda Chi, other than the couch that Josh is sleeping upon. 4 p.m. Carillon tour in historic Shapard Tower. Get a bird’s eye view of the Sewanee campus with this informative tour. Try not to fall out of it while renewing your IPOST vows. 4 p.m. Evening prayer at St. Augustine’s Chapel. Pray for your soul at this point. 5–7 p.m. Welcome home reception for alumni and faculty. Again. You got here two days ago, but welcome. Catch up with your favorite professors at this popular event, where everyone has been drunk for 48 hours already. Class reunion parties begin at 7 p.m. See your class year reunion schedule for times and locations that mean nothing to you until you stumble into them. 7:30 p.m. Movie at the Sewanee Union Theater. No "Dead Poets Society." 80% guaranteed. 9 p.m.–midnight All alumni dance with live music by Entice under the heated and lighted alumni tent. Dance the night away at this popular event! You won’t want to miss the brass section of these fantastic performers! If you are not Enticed by Entice, the Naked Funk Bonfire featuring the very best of James Brown and the soundtrack to "Jesus Christ Superstar" is available by request. Saturday, Nov. 4 7:30 a.m. Fun Run for Alumni beginning at McGriff Alumni House. Start the day with a 5 K to the Cross and back, with people who are either irretrievably Type As or complete sociopaths. 8 a.m.–noon Registration at the McGriff Alumni House on Georgia Avenue. Make this your first stop on the Domain for Homecoming. Pick up your registration packet with your nametag, a schedule of events, list of attendees, maps, and Homecoming gift! Pick-up for pre-registered alumni will be self-serve after noon, because we all thought you were getting here on Thursday and we are beyond tired of your s***. 8 a.m.–9 p.m. Hospitality Center at the McGriff Alumni House. Fall asleep upon the same couch you passed out upon yesterday. We've done this three days in a row, and the least you can do is tip or something. Or at least stop peeing all over the pool table. 9 a.m. Bluegrass breakfast on the Quad Join your class for a picnic breakfast complete with mimosas and live music! Mimosas? Now you're talking. Oh, never mind. 9 a.m. The "fun" will continue as we process by class into All Saints’ for the all alumni celebration, featuring all the professors you've been trying to avoid for decades because you never turned in your final exam. 10 a.m. All alumni celebration in All Saints’ Chapel. Join fellow alumni for the presentation of alumni awards and class reunion gifts and to hear remarks from Vice-Chancellor John McCardell about how you disappointed the previous Vice-Chancellor. Meet this year’s award winners, who are not you. Alumni who have reached the Founders’ Challenge (25 years of giving) will be recognized with a champagne fountain featuring Dita Von Teese and an exclusive Stripper Brunch (ladies may make their way to the KA House for displays of pecs and the secret stash of Falstaff). 11 a.m.–1 p.m. Reunion brunch honoring Carey Fellows and Beecken Scholars sponsored by the Babson Center for Global Commerce at the Social Lodge. I don't know who Carey is, so I can't make fun of this. 11 a.m.–1 p.m. Delta Tau Delta alumni luncheon and open house at the Delt House. Come meet the active chapter and enjoy a light lunch. Families are welcome. Look out for flying mattresses from upper-story windows. 11 a.m.–1 p.m. Alpha Tau Omega alumni luncheon and open house at the ATO House. Come meet the active chapter and enjoy a light lunch of a small football with cheese. Families are welcome. 11:15 a.m. (following the all alumni celebration of apparently all of 15 minutes) Past Presidents’ Meeting of the Associated Alumni, Regents’ Room. Two Bushes will be there along with Bill Clinton, Jimmy Carter, Barack Obama, and the ghost of Ronald Reagan hosting a Round Table entitled "WHAT IN THE ABSOLUTE F***" 11:30 a.m. Pre-game tailgate party with live music at the alumni tent near the McGriff the Crime Dog Alumni House. Come gather before the parade for this tailgate party. This is the only part of the game you will enjoy. There will be one tail to gate. 11:30 a.m. Young alumni tailgate party with live music under the alumni tent near the McGriff Alumni House. Gotta give something to the young people, because Time Magazine and the internet like them better. 12:45 p.m. Homecoming parade Stumble up to Georgia Avenue to march to the game. Follow the marching band in oldest to youngest class order. When the marching band starts, it’s time to line up! Edit this copy on your phone as you join the youngest class of all and explain to them why it was all better before. 1:30 p.m. Homecoming football game vs. Centre College at Hardee McGee Field. :/ 1:30 p.m. The concession stand at the football field is run by Housing Sewanee Inc.—Sewanee’s version of Habitat for Humanity. Proceeds go directly to purchase building materials for client homes. Please stop by during Homecoming and buy a delicious hotdog and Coke. Just stop by and give some money. You don't have to watch the game. You DON'T HAVE TO WATCH THE GAME. 1:30 p.m. YSR Club hospitality tent Stop by the YSR Club tent during the football game and learn about the exciting news about athletics at Sewanee. The women's swimming and tennis are probably unstoppable still so the most exciting thing you can do is go donate to housing 1:30 p.m. Carillon tour in historic Shapard Tower. Get a bird’s eye view of the Sewanee campus with this informative tour. Fall out of the upper window again, peeing yourself on the way down. 2:00 p.m. Amanda and Sam run you to University Hospital for your IPOST-related injuries. 3:00-4:30 p.m. Free time! Dorm Storm. 4:30–7 p.m. All alumni post-game barbeque and concert under alumni tent near the McGriff Alumni House with live music. Featuring dry brisket, hot dogs, and all the beans and slaw you can enjoy. 5 p.m. Kappa Sigma alumni reunion at University Archives. Apologies for the fact that I don't remember who the hell was in KS. 7–9 p.m. Are you single? No We are having a party just for you! Awesome Saturday night, we are having a SINGLES’ PARTY for alumni age 30 and older. Great No pressure—just food, drink, and mingling! 'K 7:30 p.m. Movie at the Sewanee Union Theater. Also, still not Dead Poets' Society. 9 p.m.–midnight All alumni DJ party at the McGriff Alumni House. Dance the night away at this popular event! We're not saying Entice is in charge of the DJ situation, but we're also not saying they're not. Dance the night away until midnight. If you're up past then, you need to just go home. 9 p.m. Coffee Café at Stirling’s Coffee House on Georgia Avenue. Enjoy premium coffee and late night treats. Because nothing says "I need to get up early to work a job and I'm 40+" like coffee at 9 pm. Sunday, Nov. 5 8 a.m. Holy Eucharist at All Saints’ Chapel. We're cool if you just walk in and drop to your knees and yell "OH GOD" at this point. We will still consider that a prayer and welcome you into the Episcopal Church. 8–noon McGriff Alumni House will be open for your convenience. Possibly inconvenience. We don't know yet. Just go to the Lemon House or something. 9:30 a.m. Memorial service for alumni, faculty, staff, and community members in St. Augustine’s Chapel (within All Saints’ Chapel). :'( 11 a.m. Holy Eucharist at All Saints’ Chapel. Catholics and Jews are gonna go ahead and sleep through this anyway. 6:30 p.m. Growing in Grace (informal eucharist) All Saints’ Chapel. Or, for some of you, going the hell home gracefully. You're too old for this. 8:00 p.m. Memorial for Student Volunteers of McGriff "The Crime Dog" Alumni House

[malikksaab]

Leh Trip Part-1

[hushedhands]

Challenge 59

@disnarutard @clarafarleybarrow

*Maxerica pregnancy scare

(I’ve had these prompts forEVER and I’ve been wanting to write the story of how we got Lief, because it’s different from the other Laws of Inheritance Schreave babies, but it’s... sort of... long? And comes with its own world building history lesson? So I haven’t had time. But then I hit writer’s block with The Thing with Feathers (don’t worry! I have everything outlined, it’s just a matter of telling the story in a nice, readable way), so I decided to give myself a break and write something different and fun AKA this) (PS, it worked, my writer’s block is BUSTED in a way it hasn’t been in months. I’m only kicking myself for not trying this sooner!) 

The day before Maxon and America were scheduled to leave for a diplomatic tour of the Australian Islands, Jamesy came down with a vicious cold. Though her motherly instincts were screaming that she should cancel her participation in the tour, America’s duties to her country as their queen won out over those to her children as their mother. That night, America rocked Jamesy in Amberly’s rocking chair until he fell into a fitful, cough-filled slumber. The next morning, she was exhausted as she bid her family goodbye and boarded the royal plane with Maxon, but it was just as well. They had a long, long flight ahead of them and there would be plenty of time to sleep on the way.

Her first day of tour, though tiring, went fairly smoothly. Silvia had made the trip with them, along with Gavril and a small pool of reporters. Silvia and her counterpart in the Australian queen’s entourage, a man named Nigel, kept the entire group on schedule, and consequently, America and Maxon were able to enjoy a private meal in their suite at the palace before falling asleep, fast and hard.

Maxon awoke the next morning feeling nauseated, the lingering jet lag toying with his body. America woke up with a light case of the sniffles, but convinced herself that it was just allergies, her body overreacting to her unfamiliar surroundings. She made it through the day thanks to Silvia keeping a supply of soft tissues close at hand, and survived the state dinner that night by sipping chilled wine to soothe her achy throat.

On her second morning on the Australian islands, sadly, it was no longer deniable. She had Jamesy’s cold. There was a rush of activity throughout the palace as the Australian royal family’s personal doctor contacted Dr. Ashlar all the way back in Illéa (despite a brutal time difference), and proposed a course of decongestants, cough suppressants, antibiotics to prevent infection, and vitamins to supplement her immune system. The Australian Doctor received Dr. Ashlar’s full approval for the proposed treatment, and America was dosed with a cocktail of medications to keep herself well enough to tour. As someone who was naturally suspicious of fancy medicines, it was a little bit of a nightmare for America, but she was forced to concede that they helped.

It truly wasn’t fair how quickly Maxon adjusted to the new timezone and was back to his normal self. More than that, he was glowing and gorgeous from his time out of the office and into the Australian sun, touring nature reserves and watching soccer matches, while America sat beside him, hot, dizzy, and splotchy.

She woke up on their fourth morning abroad with a terrible migraine. There was yet another international consultation before she was dosed with even more medication, then sent on her way with the Queen to tour some nearby public schools.

She began to feel drastically better by day five as her immune system finally began to put up a decent fight, and by their final day of tour, she had all of her stamina back and was down to only taking the decongestant and antibiotic to keep herself on the path to recovery.

Maxon and America flew back to Illéa, desperate to see Addy, Jamesy, and Maisy. This time the time change meant that they were awake for much of the flight, and they enjoyed stargazing from the bed in the back of the plane. With the window shades open and the lights off, if they were laying flat on their backs, they could peer out the windows and up at the sky. At this altitude, out over the black ocean, the view was breathtaking (and breathtakingly romantic).

The jet lag was hell again, when they got home, but they were arriving in the early, early hours of Sunday and would have most of the day to sleep and readjust.

By noon, Maxon had dragged himself to the office for a quick briefing to catch up on anything the advisers felt needed his immediate attention. America didn’t even eat breakfast and take the final dose of her decongestant cocktail, along with the rest of her usual medicines, including the one that kept her heart healthy, until the middle of the afternoon.

But after that rough adjustment, Maxon and America settled back into their usual routine with relative ease. Over the next month, 8 year old Addy wrote a play about pirate unicorns, which was performed by the Palace kid gang for all of their parents, 6 year old Jamesy lost a tooth, and 4 year old Maisy began early education lessons with Ms. Alvaraz.

The latter was perhaps the most traumatic for Maxon and America. For the first time since Addy was born, there were no kids to toddle back and forth between Maxon’s and America’s offices all day. Kenna and Paige still nannied in the evenings, alternate weekends, or if America and Maxon were going to be traveling, but their regular hours were much shorter now that all of the Schreave kids, plus Kile and Astra, were in tutoring lessons for so much of the day. Paige was even beginning to help out as one of America’s lady’s maids again, just to fill out her work schedule.

The actual nursery adjacent to the family room, where each of the Schreave babies had slept until they outgrew the crib, was now a play room filled with a cluttered mess of toys, and the crib had long ago been taken apart and placed into storage. Maxon and America couldn’t wrap their heads around the thought that it might not emerge again until little Addy grew up and had a baby of her own. It was such a desolate thought that, most of the time, they just tried not to think about it.  

Later that month, America cancelled her usual quarterly checkup with Dr. Ashlar. Having blood drawn for the panel to check her vitamin and hormone levels always left her exhausted for the ensuing several days. It was a terrible excuse, she knew, but she was already feeling sluggish and she had important legislative negotiations to take care of (They were still a few months away from the early December formal session, where Maxon would make official amendments and enact new laws, but that just meant that they were in the thick of figuring out what those repeals, amendments, and new legislation needed to be. America couldn’t just nap her way through these important meetings).  

So, she figured she’d just get her blood drawn in a couple of weeks, once the legislative details were more settled and she could afford to spend an afternoon or two sleeping off some blood loss.

Dr. Ashlar, however, was having none of that. He (politely) pestered her and pestered her until, finally, it was easier for America to give in and give up some blood than to continue to make polite excuses to blow him off. By the time Dr. Ashlar wore her down and she submitted to her checkup, America was already eleven weeks pregnant.

Dr. Ashlar was so grim-faced and sullen when he insisted on the emergency meeting in her office that same afternoon that, at first, America thought she might be dying. She’d had very low energy for a while now and she’d vomited a few times in the last few weeks, perhaps her body was shutting down, rejecting nourishment, slowly deteriorating until it wouldn’t be strong enough to go on? By the time Dr. Ashlar started explaining what her blood test had revealed, she was already convinced that she’d be dead by the end of the week.      

But what Dr. Ashlar said, instead, was that she was pregnant, and that he needed to perform an ultrasound to figure out how far along she was before he’d be able to answer her questions about how this was even possible.

She was stunned, and she was convinced there had been a mistake. The machines had glitched or something. She didn’t know what ‘glitch’ was, but she knew it could happen, and she was sure that it had. Still, just to be sure, she canceled her next meeting and joined Dr. Ashlar in the same room where she’d gotten all of her ultrasounds done with her various pregnancies. She hadn’t set foot inside since before Maisy was born. As soon as she laid eyes on the bed where she’d been laying the very first time she and Maxon ever set eyes on their very first baby, during their very first ultrasound appointment, America was overwhelmed with nostalgia so strong, it made her chest hurt.

This had to be a mistake, she firmly reminded herself. She’d been taking birth control tablets nonstop, without fail, for years. There could be no baby. And anyway, she and Maxon had three perfect children. It was enough.

… Or at least, that was their mantra. They repeated it and repeated it every time they started to doubt it. Three was enough. Three was more than enough! Three was plenty, given how hectic their jobs were. More than three would be too many, after all. Three was the perfect amount. Any more than three would be excessive, in fact. They had their three, what more could they ask for? Certainly not four, which would be too much. Three was enough.

But Dr. Ashlar turned on the machine and jellied her stomach, and sure enough, there was a baby in there. A baby that had been forming just fine without prenatal vitamins, and with its mother taking birth control tablets every day (which, as Dr. Ashlar explained, were useless at stopping a pregnancy once it started). If America had gone if for her blood panel earlier, her lowered iron levels (which had led to her sluggish anemia) would have been a dead giveaway. She’d been anemic with all of her other pregnancies, too.

When the machine was off, and America’s stomach was dry, Dr. Ashlar rubbed his forehead, slumped on his stool across from the exam bed, and sighed a heavy, forlorn sigh. As far as he was concerned, this was an unqualified disaster. The King and Queen did not want a fourth child, and he’d made a mistake somewhere along the way, and now the Queen was pregnant and in a very difficult situation. He wasn’t just afraid for his job, he actually wanted to be fired for this. He craved punishment and absolution for his horrendous mistake, and otherwise would never forgive himself for it.

“How could this have happened?” America asked. She wasn’t angry or frightened or anything. She was in shock, completely numb, not fully wrapping her head around what she’d just seen on the ultrasound monitor. Maybe she was afraid that she’d wake up in a minute, realize this was all a dream, and be devastated. It had happened before.

“It’s hard to say precisely, your Majesty.” Dr. Ashlar looked vaguely nauseous. “The tablets you take alter your hormone levels, and are very exact. If anything interferes with their absorption, and you end up with too little hormone, this… type of thing… could happen.”

“That’s why I take them at the same time every day.” America reminded him, as if she needed to. “I’ve never missed a day, though.”

“No, but timing isn’t the only factor.” Dr. Ashlar pinched the bridge of his nose, thinking back. “It’s been eleven weeks since your last menstrual cycle, so we date the fetus there, but it’s been... what... ten weeks since your royal tour of the Australian islands?”

“More or less.” America shrugged, unable to remember exactly. More than two months was all she knew for sure.

“Well...” Dr. Ashlar shook his head, gulped, and frowned, “The time change could have thrown things off. In other words, you took your tablets at the same time of morning as usual, it’s just that morning arrived 17 hours early.”

“The time change? That was it?” America couldn’t believe it. How could they have missed that crucial detail?

“Maybe,” Dr. Ashlar shrugged miserably, “But maybe it was the antibiotic you were taking whilst you were gone.”

“What? Antibiotics can do that?”

“Not most of them.” Dr. Ashlar said, forlorn, “And I haven’t seen any studies to suggest that the kind that you took had any effect on birth control absorption whatsoever. That being said…” he winced, “The antibiotic you took was a variation on what I’d have given you here, but it wasn’t the exact same thing. The specifics of the medication are proprietary, and it’s not beyond the realm of possibility that the Australian antibiotic interfered with your Illéan birth control tablets.”

“Each country manufactures its own versions of medicines?” America shook her head. It sounded absurd to her, untenable.

Dr. Ashlar seemed to disconnect peacefully from the present as he offered her a history lesson: “Hundreds of years ago, there were a small handful of large corporations which owned the patents to the vast, vast majority of individual drugs. Back then, these corporations could sell the same formula all over the world, so long as they were following local laws. They made unimaginable fortunes in this way, more wealth for one company than has been left in all the world, after the wars. However, when resources grew scarce, these giants chose to make outrageous profits by charging high sums of money for basic, life saving medicines. After the dust had settled on the fourth world war, several of the highest level executives of these corporations were charged with crimes against humanity in an international court of law. After all, several million people were dead, having been unable to afford the necessary medication that they’d needed. From the corporations’ perspective, there really had been no financial incentive to lower the drug prices, in other words cut profits, just to save a few poor people in countries that were destined to collapse anyway. And it was their intellectual property, anyway. They could do whatever they wanted. It was a shameful moment in human history, to say the least.”

America had known that those dark, brutal years immediately before Illéa’s founding had been bad for a whole variety of reasons, but she’d never heard about this gruesome aspect of that history before.

“When the trials were done and the former executives charged with acts of genocide, both the surviving and the newly formed governments of nations around the world released the medical patents into the public domain, and from then on, each government insisted on the ability to control the supply and price of medications directly for its own people. It was the only way that they could each be certain that, if resources grew scarce again, their people wouldn’t be cut out of an international chain of supply for medicines. It made perfect sense at the time.”

America wasn’t sure what she’d have done if she’d been Queen, and faced with such a decision. Probably exactly the same as Gregory Illéa had done. It was one of the few times she’d ever tentatively agreed with the man, and the thought made her shudder involuntarily.

“So you see, your Majesty, though these older medications come from the same basic recipe that was used by the international corporations that once patented them; in the intervening centuries, each country has experimented and altered the medicine as they’ve seen fit. And those alterations are, with a few notable exceptions, proprietary. Even after everything our species has survived, we’re still so suspicious of one another that we won’t share our intellectual discoveries freely.” he lamented.

“So you don’t know exactly what was in those antibiotics?” America scrunched her brow, trying to understand how he could possibly have allowed her to take them, if that had been the case.

“I have a good idea,” he said in his own defense, “It isn’t as though they could have laced in some poison or something. We’re talking about a basic antibiotic, so there wouldn’t even be different ingredients. There couldn’t be. There just wouldn’t be the need.” he explained. “What we’re most likely dealing with is a different level of potency. Sustained over the days that you took the medication, it’s not beyond all possibility that it interfered with your tablets.” he concluded, shoulders slumping again. He was back from his history lesson, into the present reality of their situation.

“So, it was either that my medication schedule was messed up because of the time change, or the antibiotic I took was too strong?”

“Not to mention, they medicated you for migraines. I thought nothing of it at the time, but there’s a chance that could have altered your absorption, too.” he looked like he needed a stiff drink. He was back to mourning as if someone had died. He counted off on his fingers, “The tablets are only 99% effective in the first place,” he ticked a finger, “And between all the time changes you underwent, you may have missed as much as an entire dose, not to mention your sleep schedule and breakfast schedule were off for the week you were in Australia, and the week after you returned. That’s two weeks of abnormal doses.” he ticked another finger, “On top of that, it’s possible that the particular antibiotic and migraine medication you were given, though safe, may have altered the amount of hormone you were able to absorb when you took your tablets. Any one of those individual mistakes might explain it, but added all together…” he paused, shook his head, then dropped his chin to his chest in shame, “We should have put you on a longer term birth control method, one that was less fragile. I knew you were done having children, but there’s a high risk of discomfort with intrauterine devices, and you were doing so well on the tablets, not to mention it’s illegal to surgically sterilize the King or Queen—“

“Wait.” America stopped him, the shock slowly beginning to wear away. Her mind was less fuzzy, she became aware of her whole body, and all of her senses were functioning properly again. This wasn’t a dream. It had gone on too long to be a dream, not to mention the vivid details of reality were returning to her. “I’m having a baby?”

“Yes, your Majesty, didn’t you--“ Dr. Ashlar gestured to the screen of the ultrasound machine, confused. She’d just seen the occupant of her womb, firsthand. Then he stopped himself, shook away his confusion and said, “What I mean to say is, this is entirely your choice, your Majesty--“

America held up a hand to stop him, knowing exactly what he meant.

“Is my heart healthy enough to go through with this pregnancy?” she asked, slowly and seriously. “Will I survive the labor and delivery?”  

Immediately after Maisy was born, America’s blood pressure had plummeted to unsafe levels. She’d gone unconscious, and to this day she mourned the loss of those first precious few minutes with their baby girl. Afterwards, she and Maxon had reluctantly determined that the safest thing to do would be to stop having children. They couldn’t risk America’s health, she needed to be alive for Addy, Jamesy, and Maisy. There could be no negotiation about that.

“Well… my best medical opinion is that, yes, your Majesty, you are healthy enough to support this pregnancy.” Dr. Ashlar said. “We would monitor you closely, of course, and examine our best options for labor. It’s possible we could opt for a cesarean delivery, if a prolonged labor were to become too stressful. But major surgery like that is also very stressful on the heart, not to mention the extended recovery it would require.”

“But would a cesarean be too stressful?” America demanded. She needed him to be absolutely positive. “Kenna had one with the twins, and it went perfectly. Kenna and I have the same heart condition. If she could do it, so could I, right?”  

“I don’t... you don’t... I don’t see any indication, based on your recent cardiac tests, that such an operation would be medically unsafe.” he advised.

She nodded, finally allowing herself to believe what was happening. “Then, Dr. Ashlar, I’m having a baby…”

“Your Majesty?”

America laughed at an inappropriate volume, pressed a hand to her mouth, and nodded. “This… this is… this is the happiest I’ve been in a long time, Dr. Ashlar. Thank you.”

He was thoroughly taken aback. “You’re thanking me for the greatest professional mistake I’ve ever made?”

America felt tears swim in her eyes as she bit her smile to keep it in check and wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug, “It’s not a mistake. This isn’t a mistake. This is the best surprise of my entire life, this is not a mistake.”

***

She dragged Maxon out to the gardens after dinner that night. The kids were at the indoor swimming pool with May and Ryland, splashing around and having a great time. Therefore, Maxon and America had a couple of hours alone with one another.

America sat down on their bench and Maxon followed along, assuming that they were just having an impromptu mini-date. With three children and a country to run, most of their dates were impromptu and miniature.

“I’m so happy that you’re feeling better, Love. You’ve been a little rundown lately, and I’ve been so worried about you.” Maxon gently tucked her hair behind her ear.

“Maxon, this is the best I’ve felt in years.” America smiled.

“Is it?” he was baffled. “You… you haven’t been unwell for so long, have you?” The very idea that she might have been secretly ill seemed to panic him.

“No!” She hurried to reassure him. “No, it’s not that. I’m just... I’m happy. I’m so happy, Maxon.”

Maxon smiled indulgently, “I see. Well it’s not hard to believe, my darling, you’ve been humming all day, and you’re certainly aglow.”

“Am I?”

“What’s got you so overjoyed? Is it something with your family? Marlee?” he seemed to sense a positive life change on the horizon, he just didn’t know it was a baby, and he didn’t know it was theirs.

“No, it’s me. It’s us. It’s our whole family.” America’s breath hitched with excitement.

“We’ve done something to please you?”

America laughed, “Of course you have! I love you silly Schreaves around the moon and back again.”

Maxon laughed too, “You know you’re one of us ‘silly Schreaves', don’t you?”

“Maxon, I’m pregnant.” America blurted, still giggling.

Maxon’s face froze as he slowly replayed what she’d just said, “...You’re... did you just say--“

“Pregnant. Yes, that’s what I said. Maxon, we’re having a baby!”

Maxon narrowed his eyes, a look on his face as if he was doing advanced calculus. “You’re pregnant... with a baby?”

“Yes.”

“How?”

“Um--“ she lifted her eyebrows, fairly sure he knew how.

“No, I mean... No, I do mean ‘how’! How?” he exclaimed.

“Something to do with our tour through the Australian Islands, though it’s hard to say exactly what.” America wasn’t concerned. “Probably the time change, maybe some other stuff. Something about the fourth world war, but it doesn’t matter. The point is, we made a baby over there.”

“Well… No, because you’ve been taking birth control tablets ever since. Surely mistiming a dose or two--“

“It turns out, I was probably not quite on schedule for two weeks,” America was chipper as she explained, practically giddy.  

“Two weeks?!” Maxon was aghast.

“Maxon--“ America took his hand, knowing his head was swimming at this news. She guided it to her stomach and placed it there as firmly as she could. “I’m pregnant. This is a baby we’re talking about.” If there was one thing she knew about her husband, it was that he adored babies. Once the idea sunk in, he’d be smiling and laughing just like she was. Maybe he’d pick her up and twirl her around and—

He stared down at the hand touching her stomach, furrowing his brow hard, “Love... your heart--“

“Dr. Ashlar says I’m healthy enough for the pregnancy--“

“That’s not what I’m worried about!” Maxon exclaimed loudly, meeting her gaze urgently. His brown eyes swam with terror, “I hardly had time to cut Maisy’s cord and kiss her forehead before your blood pressure was plummeting. You have no idea... the sounds those machines were making to indicate that you were dying! You were dying, America!”

“Maxon--“

“I will not lose you. I am King and I refuse.” he commanded, as if this settled the matter because even death was subject to his decrees.

“Listen to me: Dr. Ashlar will explore different delivery options with me when the time comes. They’ll know this is a risk, and they can monitor it, and--“

“America, I don’t want any risks. I’m not willing to risk you at all! Our children need their mother, I need my wife, and Illéa needs its queen.” he seemed to believe the matter was settled again.

America’s shoulders fell as she dropped her gaze to her lap. Maxon hadn’t removed his hand yet, and she took that to be one small sign that he wasn’t as against this as he sounded. “Maxon, the blood pressure thing was a fluke, and they fixed me right up. If it happens again, I’ll be fine just like last time.”

“You can’t promise me that.” he muttered mutinously.

“I… I can’t promise you... that the roof won’t cave in on my office tomorrow. I can’t promise that I won’t fall down the stairs and break my neck. That I won’t choke on a strawberry tart and suffocate. I can’t promise you anything, Maxon.” she glared at her knee.

“We don’t ride motorcycles because it’s a risk.” Maxon said randomly.

“What?” America peeked up at him. As far as she knew, they’d never even thought of riding a motorcycle.

“We don’t go skydiving and we don’t go bungee jumping. There are so many things we avoid because they’re dangerous and we want to be alive for our children.”

“If I let you go skydiving, can you be happy that we’re having this baby?” America sassed.

“Stop it.”

“I’m serious.”

Maxon looked like he was going to come back with a withering reply, but just as the words reached the tip of his tongue and he opened his mouth to speak them, a gut-wrenching sob escaped instead.

And with that, Maxon was crying as fully and as without restraint as the children did when they fell and scraped their knees. And just like with the children, America wrapped her arms around Maxon and held him close as he buried his face in his hands.

The time it took Maxon to breathe through the sobs and regain control of his crying gave America a precious minute to regroup and make a new plan. Maxon was pale as a ghost and shaking, and maybe he had reason to be. She’d been unconscious after Maisy’s birth, she’d missed the whole thing, but he’d been awake and living the nightmare as Dr. Ashlar had sent the nurse for help and begun the work of saving America’s life. For her, it had been a blank of nothing, but Maxon relived it in nightmares all the time.

“Come on.” America stood, as soon as Maxon’s breathing was steady and his sniffles subsided. “Come with me.”

“Where--“

“You’ll see.” she laced fingers with him and swiftly led him to Dr. Ashlar’s private suite. She knocked loudly on the door, interrupting the doctor and his wife at dinner, and apologized but begged for a few minutes in the hospital wing. Dr. Ashlar didn’t even hesitate, leading the way.

She sat herself on the bed in the ultrasound room and lifted her dress, waiting as Dr. Ashlar jellied her stomach and prepared the machine. All the while, Maxon had a look on his face like he might vomit.

Dr. Ashlar placed the wand on her abdomen and the screen attached to the machine lit up with the outline of their baby.

“Listen,” America said, squeezing Maxon’s hand, “I know it’s frightening, and I know it’s risky. Pregnancy is always risky. The best advice from Dr. Ashlar, our medical professional, the greatest doctor in the whole country, Maxon, is that my heart can handle this.”

“...But Ames...”

“Sweetheart, I am pregnant.” she said firmly.

“But--“

“Maxon, there’s no ‘but’. If I were perfectly healthy and nothing frightening had happened last time, wouldn’t you want this baby?”

Maxon gulped, knowing she was about to corner him into this. Still, he had to be honest with her, “Of course. God, Ames, nothing would make me happier than to have a baby in our nursery again. Nothing. But it’s not worth losing you, potentially losing you both. Addy, Jamesy, and Maisy…”

“I know. Believe me, I know. If I thought this would kill me, I’d never put myself at that kind of risk.”

“Ames, you have no idea what happened last time, what it was like--“

“Dr. Ashlar, do you think my blood pressure will fall off again?” America asked their doctor, point blank.

“...Well, no, your Majesty. Frankly, that type of blood pressure drop is not uncommon after labor, and not necessarily tied to your heart condition. During your recovery, the anesthesiologist and I consulted and we believe the most likely culprit was actually your epidural.”

“My epidural?” America said, eyebrows raised. She supposed it made sense; it must be risky to inject anything into a person’s spine. “So, if I didn’t take an epidural for this labor, there wouldn’t be as high a risk of my blood pressure dropping off?”

“Substantially less, your Majesty.”

“Even with my heart defect?”

“As far as your heart is concerned, you’ve been managing your condition responsibly, eating well, exercising, and taking your medication. Frankly, your Majesty, you’re the picture of health.”

“Okay.” America turned back to Maxon, “Did you hear him?”

Maxon looked as if he wished he hadn’t. “Yes.”

“So if we decided to... to end this pregnancy now, it wouldn’t be because of actual medical necessity. It would be because of fear.”

Maxon leaned his head back as he took this in, then lowered his gaze to Dr. Ashlar, a menacing look in his eyes, “Are you sure?” he demanded.

“Yes, sir.”

“This poses no threat to America’s life?” his eyes flashed dangerously.

Dr. Ashlar recognized the look on Maxon’s face and squirmed; it was undiluted Clarkson. The doctor straightened his shoulders and said, “Every pregnancy comes with risk of complication. Princess Adrienne, Prince Jameson, and Princess Carolynn were all risks. But the risk is less with a healthy mother, and frankly, the Queen is certainly that. If a complication did arise from her pregnancy or labor, it wouldn’t be because of her heart.”

Dr. Ashlar knew, in that moment, that he’d just staked his life on his medical advice. If he was wrong and the Queen died in childbirth, Maxon would have his head for regicide.

“Maxon, our doctor says that I’m healthy and I can do this.” America said, smiling. “And we both want a baby in that nursery.”

Maxon looked down at America’s face, then he looked down at her exposed stomach. He lifted his gaze to the screen of the ultrasound machine and rubbed his chin, “I want three more medical opinions.”

Dr. Ashlar nodded, “Of course, sir.”

“Immediately. Now. Tonight.” Maxon ordered.

“Maxon.” America narrowed her eyes at him. She had a very low tolerance for the times when he resembled his father, given her own history with the man.

Maxon rolled his eyes and relented, “Please.”

America smiled and gratefully patted his hand.

“Yes, sir.” Dr. Ashlar said again.

“And if the medical consensus, the best scientific information we can get, says that this is safe enough...” Maxon paused. His gaze flickered back to the screen and he softened for just a moment, “Another baby...”  

Dr. Ashlar turned off the machine, handed America a cloth to clean her stomach, and then bowed his way out the door. Even though it was evening, it only took half an hour for the chief of obstetrics at Angeles hospital, as well as two highly respected cardiologists, to arrive in the hospital wing.

America and Maxon waited right there, holding hands, comforting one another with brushes of thumbs across knuckles, until they were joined by the impromptu medical panel.

After a thorough examination, including an ultrasound of America’s heart and uterus, the doctors were in perfect agreement. America was as fine as could be. Maxon was just scared.

Thinking back to her other pregnancies, this was always the hardest part for him, America remembered. This was the part he couldn’t control or command. He just had to hold her hand when she needed it, and hope for the best.

Maxon thanked the doctors for their help on such short notice, then he even apologized to Dr. Ashlar for being so short with him earlier. He told the doctors that word of this pregnancy was not to be spread to anyone, not even their own families, until America and Maxon had announced it to the nation.

It wasn’t until he said those words that America realized that he was done resisting. That he was with her.

As soon as the doctors, having been dismissed, closed the door behind them on their way out, Maxon turned to America.

“You’re pregnant.” he said, testing out the words in his mouth.

“I noticed.” America laughed. “It’s sort of monopolized my day.”  

He inhaled deeply through his nose, but this time when he exhaled, a smile bloomed across his cheeks. “There’s a baby in there.” he brushed his pointer finger across her stomach.

“Yep.”

“Ames!” he laughed out loud, “A baby!”

“I know.” America grinned. This was the reaction she’d been expecting out in the gardens. This was the man she’d seen every other time she’d told him that she was pregnant.

“Do you think it’s a boy? A girl?” he wondered eagerly.

“I have no idea.”

“I think I still have our baby name list in my desk drawer...” he pretended, poorly, to be uncertain.

“You think so?” America grinned at how transparent he was. He was the spitting image of Jamesy trying to lie to them about how much dessert he’d eaten.  

“Well... yes. I couldn’t throw it away.” Maxon confessed.

“I know what you mean.” America said, swinging her legs off of the exam bed. “I kept my copy, too.”

“You did?”

“Yes. Maxon... we’re going to have a baby again.” America’s eyes flooded with tears, “I didn’t think we’d have four... I thought we were done with three... but Maxon, we get four!”

“We get four.” he agreed, pressing a kiss to her head. “But Ames, we have a long way to go before we get our fourth. We’ve got to keep you healthy, because...” his Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, hard, “Because you need to meet this baby, once it’s born. You need to feed it and carry it out to meet our country on the front steps of the Palace. You can’t miss this because you’re… you’re…

“I know. I’ll be there.” America promised. Then a wicked smile spread across her face, “And if this goes well, who knows? Maybe we’ll have another.”

Maxon scowled and looked to the ceiling, as if asking the heavens for patience, “You’re going to be the death of me, woman.” he offered her a hand up from the bed.

She took it and pulled him straight in for a kiss, “Only if I’m doing my job right.”

***

In the end, Lief’s birth was the smoothest of all of America’s labors, possibly because America stubbornly willed it to be so. Without the use of an epidural, her closely monitored blood pressure remained stable and strong.

In fact, it all went so well that, a couple of years later, Maxon was easily agreeable to having one more baby, so that Lief would have a brother or sister companion closer to his own age than Addy, Jamesy, or Maisy. It was actually Rosie’s birth (too early, which added enormously to the stress America experienced all throughout her contractions) that convinced Maxon and America that they were truly done having children. Besides, with the addition of baby Rosie to their family, they now had five children. And whenever Maxon or America said the words ‘five is enough’, they actually rang true.

[invincible-selfxmade-punk]

Pull Me Under

Warning:  Long Post, no 

I really wanted to talk about what happened to me this week.

 Will I survive the night on my own?

I am a workaholic because my dad was a workaholic and he's the one who raised me I was raised and told that to ask for help is a sign of weakness. To show weakness is a sign of weakness, to tell the truth when someone asks you how you are is a sign of weakness, to slow down on any level is a sign of weakness.

 My dad live by these rules and unfortunately that caused him to die younger than he should have, falling cancer when he was normally pretty healthy.  It is also this mentality that allowed me to survive when I was left to be an orphan at the age of 20 and it is how I have lived my life since.

 However it is something that I feel needs to change now in order for me to live longer, You do not have to live your entire life in this fashion in order to survive or in order to impress people.

 I have always prided myself on not taking sick days on coming to work no matter how bad I felt and finishing my shifts because in the back of my mind I thought that any time I ever told my boss I was too sick to work they thought I was lazy, and I would go on the list of the first person to be fired if the opportunity came up.  It has always been my way to hide how I really feel, how sick I truly am, because in the long run no one cares but me anyway, and if somebody else can see that and use it as against me, somehow they're going to do it.  In the last TEN YEARS I have taken less than ten sick days from work.

 My first year teaching has changed all that because I got sick about every 2 months,  as soon as I was over one thing I was sick with something else. I had ten sick days to play with but I also had to work from 7 a.m. to 4 p.m. 5 days a week which meant I would have to take time off at some point doctor's appointments to keep myself healthy and that would eat up into my sick day time.  I think I ended the year with two days to spare and I was not going to mess with it.  

 I woke up Sunday morning knowing I was sick.  I had slept with the windows open and a cold front came in.  I could feel it growing colder but could do nothing because I was so exhausted I could not wake myself up enough to get out of bed and close them.  I woke up with chills, aches and a sore throat.  I ignored it.  I went to work.  I lasted until noon, went home and went to bed.  I should have called in for Tuesday but I did not I went to work. I had spent all of Monday freezing under 2 blankets with the heater turned up to 80 degrees.  But because I also did get some sleep and because that little bit of asleep I felt OK Tues. morning I made myself go to work.  I work the full day but  by the time it was time to go home,  I could not walk myself to my car.

 I have been fighting anxiety and dizzy spells for about a month-and-a-half so having to have someone walk me to my car really wasn't an alarm ball for me.  When I got home I tried to open some Gatorade and was shocked to find that I was too weak to get it open.  I don't own the thermometer which is something I need to change but I knew I was having a fever.  I started taking Tylenol PM but it did nothing it did not help my fever and it did not help me sleep.

 It would just so happen that I posted my symptoms to Facebook. A friend I barely knew that I had met through the Deuce fandom told me you need to go to the doctor right away you have pneumonia.  And I hate to say it but my first thought was “kid you're half my age what do you know?”.  But it did alarm me b/c he had the exact same symptoms. My sister Toni called and asked if I wanted her friend Cathy to take me to the dr.  Now normally I turn down offers like this.  Toni is now my only living sister, my family period really, and still sees me as being twelve.   And I would rather walk on broken glass than ask for help.  However I found myself agreeing to it ---maybe because of what the kid had said on Facebook--- but I still decided to go….. just not right away. I had not slept at all that night and I told my sister give me a chance to get some sleep.  The clinic I go to is open late, I could go in the afternoon .  However in the back of my own mind I was even thinking “well if you feel better after your nap just tell her you decide not to go and don't go.”

 The problem was, I couldn’t sleep, and I was getting worse. The appointed time came around I decided it was time to get out of bed………... only problem was I couldn't I couldn't make it more than two or three steps without being so overwhelmed so exhausted and dizzy I pretty much had to sit down wherever I was.  This was a problem because it is a long walk from where my house is to the driveway where you park your car as my house is in the middle of a field.  My sister’s bf Cathy is a small firecracker of a woman who could go toe to toe with the devil but is about one fourth my size.  I could not use her as a human crutch to get to the car. Again my first inclination was “go back to bed and sleep it off, go back to the doctor when you feel better” which is so ass-backwards it’s stupid, but I swear that’s how I felt.  I nearly called and told her not to come back but thank god I didn’t.  Cathy, being the resourceful woman that she is, drover her SUV through the field and up to my door.  I got into the car and she took me to the clinic.  At the clinic everyone stared because I needed a wheelchair to be brought in.

 Now let me discuss another component of why I have been reluctant to go to the doctor.  I have been going to a small clinic since I moved home and I really like it.  I recently found out that the guy I had a crush on my entire senior year of high school and freshman year of college is a nurse practitioner there whom I have not seen in 25 years. These stupid narcissistic fifteen-year-old in me would always say “Don’t go!  You look like shit and what if you get him as the one who sees you.”   I knew he worked there from calling in to get lab results from my last bouts with dizziness in April where I was given a clean bill of health.  I called the clinic to get my results only to have a friendly voice call me by my maiden name and ask (already knowing the damn answer) if I remembered him.

 So anyway at 3 pm Cathy wheels me in in the wheelchair and asked me if I want her to stay. I am already feeling guilty because she has offered to go get me some groceries which I desperately need and obviously can't get for myself so I tell her no there's no need for her to waste more time by waiting for me at the clinic just go ahead get the groceries I'll call her when the appointment is over just because I'm pretty sure they're just going to give me a prescription and send me back home.  The nurse takes my information, takes my blood pressure pulse and temperature then wheels me into another room where my worst nightmare comes true.  

 Lo and behold here comes My High School Crush. Only this time there is no witty banter no hey how you doing.  He looks at me and says   “You are very sick you need to be in the hospital.  If you were just dropped off here, I am going to call you an ambulance right now.”  He even gave me back my copay!   I know this is serious.   I called Cathy and told her she had to come back. Normal blood pressure is 120/80 and mine has always run just slightly lower than that.  A resting pulse rate for me is 85-99.   When my vitals were checked at the clinic my bp was 80/40, my pulse was 120 and I had 102 fever.

 I didn’t feel like my pulse was that fast, I wasn’t having no trouble breathing, I was just weak and tired.    BUT THAT’S JUST IT.  I’M A TEACHER, I AM ALWAYS FUCKING TIRED….just not hat bad. I got into the ER just as a trauma is coming in on an Angel Flight.  I know I’m going to be there a whle and tell Cathy to go home because there’s nothing she can do for me anymore anyway and I don’t want her to see me this sick.   My ex would never take me to the ER when I was sick, always made me go alone because he “hates hospitals, and get bored there’ so I was used to being in the ER alone. I wait about 30 min in the waiting room which honestly is not bad.   One they take my vitals they whisk me back to a bed.   They had to stick me 3 times to get an IV going, took blood, tried to catheterize me FIVE TIMES which left me literally screaming in pain (my lady parts are quite small and delicate).  I am given THREE bags of IV fluids before they can start to stabilize me.  But I’m too sick and exhausted to even be scared.

 I mean, I was scared, I knew it was serious and i prayed a lot but I literally did not have the energy to expend on being scared and worried. Those are the times I miss having someone with me.  Not in the waiting room but in the back to hold my hand when I’m getting stuck with needles and poked at and shit.  Just someone to tell me “It’s gonna be okay.”    But I didn’t have it and I haven’t that in so long I have learned to survive without it.    Every orderly, and nurse I saw (didn’t see a doctor for 4 hours) told me:  “You are one sick lady”.   But I was not in any pain, I could breathe fine, I was just so tired.

  A lady comes to go over my information.  I am asked if my sister Terri is still my emergency contact and I have to say the words “No she died two weeks ago” and it is hardest thing to say.  I wanted to follow it up “in this very ER” but I don’t.    As they are wheeling me down the halls to get a CAT scan on my chest I see the inside of the hospital really for the first time and it hits me fully:  THE LAST TIME I WAS IN THIS HOSPITAL WAS WHEN MY MOM DIED WHEN I WAS 12 AND NOTHING HAS CHANGED.   So now not only am I middle aged, helplessly sick and at the mercy of the world, I am also 12 years old, helpless, at the mercy of the world and watching my mom die.  Every door we pass looks like the door to the room she died in.

Now I know why I had nightmares of hospitals all the time when I was in college.  It never made sense then but it does now.  It was this hospital I was dreaming of and now I’m right back there.

 At 8 pm I am told I have pneumonia and am “septic”, which I had to literally google when I got home.  I knew it was not a good thing to be and always thought it meant your blood had been poisoned.    At 9 pm I am told I am being admitted.  At 10 pm I meet some of the nicest nurses I have ever met in my life in the ICU unit. The exact same ICU unit and quite possibly same room my mom spent a good deal of the last days of her life in as well.   On my fifth bag of IV fluid my pulse has only gone down to 108 and my blood pressure has only poked up to 96/56.   I am tied to so many machines I feel like I’m in the Matrix.  I don’t sleep for three days and getting out of bed to walk two steps to the toilet (which I am now having to do every 15 min b/c of the IV fluids) is enough to leave me out of breath and push my pulse rate back up.   This is also hard because of all the tubing and leads attached to me that I must pull, balance and not step on or let get tangled.  The bed is an ergonomic nightmare that is impossible to get up from even though it is just inches off the floor. It takes 10 bags of IV fluids, 3 bags of antibiotics, 3 shots in the stomach for blood thinner (PAINFUL) and three bags of potassium and magnesium before my vitals get to anywhere near the normal range. There are literally pages more I could write but I am still recovering and need some sleep.

[againjack]

Extremes

Friday evening I arrived a few minutes earlier than Colby suggested. As expected, he showed up 40 minutes late (50 after I arrived.) I had taken care of his dog and spent time doing things around the house (taking out trash,emptying dishwasher, folding laundry, etc.) He wanted to go out to dinner before the Cirque show, but, based on his being late the places he wanted to go wouldn’t be quick enough, so we ended up at Steak and Shake. I’m ok with this, at least we got to eat before the show. That and it was a nice break from all the fancy places we’ve been to and a chance for him to see me in that environment.

The show was amazing. We both loved it. He was very appreciative and couldn’t stop telling me thank you and how he loved the show, going with me, and that I planned/paid for it. I am not sure how I feel about all that. 

When walking to the tent we had some interesting conversations. One was my telling him what I’ve spent on all these things and how my credit cards are maxed out (partially due to shifting funds to pay off the car) and how it will be a while before I do something big or like this again. The other was a random comment that I joked I can be classy, to which he responded to that he knew me well enough to know it was just a front. That really hurt and took me aback. I am glad he feels he knows me, but to not know that I would be hurt by being told I’m not good enough? Really? Who appreciates being told they are trash?

That evening while cuddling in bed he randomly said, “You are so amazing.” I thanked him and told him that it was nice because it helped soften the “not classy” comment earlier. Apparently he was being sarcastic or something? He said he didn’t really mean it, but there was no way to tell. The tone he used when telling me I was amazing was truly full of awe and love. He sounded surprised and that he was just realizing how lucky he was to be with me. 

Saturday morning I made breakfast, which he enjoyed. We then split ways to run our various errands and stuff. I ended up napping because still fighting headache and low grade nausea. We were going to meet back up to go do game night with his friends. Again, I beat him back to his place and took care of the dog. I am very grateful to have access to the hidey key so I can come and go as needed rather than waiting on him. He realized when he got home he forgot to pick up the dog’s pain pills. The vet closed at noon, the pharmacy closed at 5, and it was now 6. He was very angry with himself and asked to be left alone in his office, so I studied my Hebrew and prepped for my final mikveh training class. I was worried, but, knew it was best to just let him be. 

He eventually said we wouldn’t be going to game night, but instead would be spending the evening at the emergency vet. We walked the dog and I tried to console him, which upset him more so I just shut up. 

I had an idea, that since he told me he doesn’t want to do anything physical when I’m on my period, that maybe since I was bleeding there would be no expectations so we could talk about things. He said not only did he not want to talk about it, it was too stressful over all. The impression he gave me was that he is 100% fine with how things are and doesn’t want it to change. (How he reconciles that with wanting kids and KNOWING that we both feel sex is important to a relationship I don’t know.) He has a bad habit of repeating himself, even after I stop, which makes it feel as if he is over reacting or that what I say or do is just THAT bad. Not a good feeling. In addition to his having a cow over wanting to chat about sex, he then snapped at me, “Just let me get through killing my dog.” 

He is really hurting over that. He doesn’t like anything about euthanizing or any euphamism or how it is better than letting the dog be in pain. He said it is murdering his dog and he just can’t bring himself to kill him. (He will, this week, but doing so is really hurting him on multiple levels.)

I get he is stressed. I get he is emotional. I was trying to add levity and a distraction in a safe space/manner. I want to give him a pass for those things, but that snap REALLY hurt. I felt my eyes well. I did my best to hide from him my reaction, because I didn’t want him to feel worse and maybe turn it back on me. 

Then he put the dog in his car. I asked him to give me a minute to grab my purse. He said he didn’t want me to come with him. That hurt a lot too. But fine, that is what you want, I won’t go.

I hadn’t eaten since breakfast so I told him that and asked him if I should wait for him or eat. He didn’t answer me (that I heard. He said later that he did tell me to eat without him.) I wasn’t sure how long he would be, and from the sound of it, it would be hours. So I ate some food I had made and brought for him so that he wasn’t finding himself late, with no food, making poor and unhealthy choices. And I started cleaning/seasoning his new cast iron skillets and oiling his wooden spoons (that soooo needed it.) The entire time the hurt got worse, so I decided to do something.

You know the saying of killing someone with kindness when they are mean to you? I decided to be the best possible girlfriend. I knew that he had to be out early for Sunday school, and it would be early enough that I may not have a chance to make breakfast for him and I wanted to ensure he had food. Especially since breakfast food is his favorite. So I went around the corner to Panera to get several pastries. He’s got a hard few days ahead, I can spoil him a little bit to help get through it. I then went to the grocery store to get ice cream as comfort food for me that night. And again, being the good girlfriend, I had noted things he needed so I picked up a treat for him and stuff he needed. 

Turns out he wasn’t gone long. He let me know he was on his way back, I let him know I was out so he wasn’t surprised when I wasn’t there. He then said he wanted to go to game night. And of course he made it a guilt trip that he “wanted to spend time with his friends and cake for his birthday.” *glare* Way to make things worse, buddy. I was NOT happy. Even when I came back and told him what I got and how I needed comfort food and retail therapy (that I channeled into the food) he didn’t ask me why or what for. I did NOT want to go. I was afraid that I would say something that would sting or be more than he wanted anyone to know. Again, I found myself tearing up as we drove to his friend’s house. 

We got there and when I was asked what I wanted to drink, I gave a look that the guy asking totally understood and he poured me a scotch. Never mind I don’t enjoy bourbon/whiskey/scotch but I drank it. No, I did not enjoy it at all. Then after eating cake and starting gaming I asked the host what was available that wasn’t wine, beer, or scotch. He had spiced rum that we mixed with coconut water. Not my normal thing but it was what I needed. The group loved the games I brought and we played #HashtagIt which was hilarious and awesome. (It’s basically Cards Against Humanity but with pictures (black cards) and hashtags (white cards.)) At some point I poured myself another glass, a bit stiffer by accident. 

Once we decided the game was over I made my way to the bathroom, where I ended up spending the next several hours. After doing my business I realized I was not well and hung out leaning against the sink. Someone noticed at some point I was gone and the hostess came to check on me - which was when I threw up. I was so embarrassed and so worried that it would be the last straw for Colby, since he had so much on his proverbial plate. The hostess told Colby to go home without me and she did an awesome job helping to take care of me. Which really wasn’t much other than get me a towel that I used alternately as a pillow and blanket as I slept on the floor. As far as I know, I only puked twice. I was horrified it was into the sink, so I did what I could to clean it up which wasn’t much. It was about then that I laid back down and fell asleep. Apparently in my sleep I did a deep clean of the entire bathroom according to the hostess. 

I noticed when I got up at one point that the sink was clean, I felt so bad that someone else cleaned that up. I managed to stand and walk by 4:30am and found that there was a pillow and blankets on the couch waiting for me, as well as another person was sleeping on the other arm of the couch. (It is a big sectional in the shape of an L.) I texted Colby an apology and plugged my phone in to charge. I didn’t sleep well and kept waking up, but every little bit helped. At some point the kids and hostess got up, as well as the other person, so I got up too. We got details from the hostess as to what we missed (not much) and I folded up the blankets. The other person gave me a ride back to Colby’s. When driving into his neighborhood we past Colby on his way to Sunday school. I’m not sure he realized it was us. 

I was still worried, even though both the hostess and the guy who gave me a ride said that Colby and I were ”solid.” Colby did text me after Sunday school that there was no need to apologize and it wasn’t about anything he needed or not. (My apology was that he didn’t need my not holding my liquor in addition to his other stressors.) I’m not sure on the tone of the text so I’m still not sure where things stand. 

This afternoon Colby’s ex is going to his place to say goodbye to the dog, since he was hers before she and Colby got together. I hope to avoid her. 

We’ll see how tonight goes. I’m a ball of anxiety.

[cctherinesadventures-blog]

Florence Day 5

5/17

Today we woke up at 8:30 for class at 9, luckily this time we didn’t get lost! Our professor had us go around the room and talk about what social media was to us, etc. etc. After class Kimmy and I went on an adventure to find the local grocery store - CONAD City. We stopped by a little coffee shop and got some sandwiches for an early lunch before hitting the store. Guess what I ate? Prosciutto!! I need to start mixing it up, but its fine. It was a new coffee shop just the same sandwich. Afterwards we went to the CONAD store and got some groceries. Turns out everyone was right, it was so cheap! We got a whole basket full of food for 31 Euro. On the way back we walked around and went home to put our food away. Since we got home at like almost 3 am, we were exhausted all morning and decided to nap for a while. I slept for about an hour and a half and then sat around for a while and booked our train tickets to Venice! Around 4, I could feel myself falling asleep again, so I decided it was time for a walk and a coffee. Kimmy was just waking up when I was about to leave so we both went out. We ended up at Pasticceria Bar for a cappuccino and muffin. I don’t know if its just that I’ve never ordered a “regular coffee” at home - I usually add hazelnut flavor or something - or if the joe here is just more delicious, but I’ve enjoyed every cup of coffee I’ve had. This place in particular is just right down the street from our apartment so not only did it taste good, but it didn’t include a long walk. Afterwards we went to go check out this vintage/thrift store thats on the way to Mary’s. Its so interesting here, everyone has their own agenda for time. The sign on the door said:    Aprire: quando decidiamo di mostrarci

Open: When we decide to show up

Chiudi: quando vogliamo partire

Close: When we want to leave

Di solito aperto nel pomeriggio

Usually open in the afternoon

I’ve been looking for a denim jacket, and lucky for me they had quite the selection. There were a couple I had my eye on, but one in particular had an eagle stitched onto the shoulder with gold studs. Sounds tacky, I know, but I loved it. Unfortunately, I hadn’t brought enough Euro with me so we ran back home (I love that I’ve started calling it home) to grab some more. When we got back I grabbed the jacket and continued walking around. In the back they had a beautiful array of dresses that looked like they would be worn to a [kind of old school] ball. I wanted to try one on, it had a bronze-colored, velvet top and a floral, floor-length skirt. It was so beautiful, however I accidentally pulled it over my hips instead of over my head and the zipper broke so I couldn’t see it all together. I felt terrible, but the woman just took it from me and went to fix the zipper. No problemo! Looks like it was just the jacket for me, but I’m okay with that. When I went to pay, the woman was getting change from her personal wallet - that’s how you know it’s a small shop. We left and I put on my jacket (because it was cool and because I didn’t want to hold it in a bag) and we headed down the street. We stopped in a few shops, one was Disney themed. It had clocks and cups and plates all with different characters on them. The ceiling in there was so low, the woman told me to duck my head which I 100% needed to do, my head was literally hitting the ceiling! We continued on our journey around Firenze and stumbled upon the “Ospedale delgi Innocenti” the Innocent Hospital. Its where young women would bring their newborns if they couldn’t afford to care for them on their own. Its supposed to represent the growth of humanism and socialism during the renaissance. It was a large orphanage that emphasized actually caring for the kids. So cool. We were wondering around there at about 18:00 when the church bells started ringing. They’re actually ringing right now too (it’s noon the day after). It’s amazing to me that those church bells have been ringing for over 600 years. I stood there and just stared in awe as it rang. I can’t even describe that feeling I had, like I had gone back in time for a moment. It sounds dumb, but this city is so beautiful. I can;t even begin to imagine the people who have walked these streets before me. The States have nothing compared to this. Being the nerdy psychology major I am, I keep of thinking about Aristotle and Galileo, who I know aren’t from Italy, but I’m sure they came to visit. These people who influenced life so much, gosh I would be an idiot if I lived in that time - everyone using the sun to do math and architecture. Incredible. We decided to try and find the bell that was ringing and ended up just walking around talking about church and our beliefs and again, how dumb we would be if we lived in the renaissance. On the way back, we ended up in a little park. It reminded me of a DC park. It was a circle of benches with a statue in the middle and little shops/restaurants. We headed home to make dinner around 20:00. We had bought some farfelle, salad, and chicken from the store so we each made ourselves a little dish. I had my farfelle over my salad - like my dad and I do at home - to cook the salad. I added mozzarella, pesto, Parmesan, chicken, and olive oil. The olive oil here is so rich, I’m going to bring some bottles home. We stayed up a little at night and did our homework for class - Monument Mondays, and then headed to bed. We leave for Venice soon!