#jacques snicket and olivia caliban

[aseriesofunfortunatetexts]

asoue + tumblr text posts

[erenfox]

My Biggest What-Ifs of A Series of Unfortunate Events (Series Only)

The Night of the Opera:

1. What if Beatrice and Lemony had just taken the fucking sugar instead of the whole ass Sugar Bowl?

2. What if Olaf's father had never been shot by the poison dart?

The Bad Beginning:

1. What if Violet, Klaus and Sunny had never gone to the Briny Beach that day?

2. What if Violet and Klaus had never figured out Olaf's scheme to marry Violet irl?

The Reptile Room:

1. What if Monty's dumbass had just straight up recognised Olaf?

2. What if the Baudelaires had actually been fooled by Olaf's disguise, or had just pretended to be fooled?

The Wide Window:

1. What if Josephine hadn't been charmed away by Olaf, being still distraught about Ike and all?

2. What if the Quagmire parents had actually come down via their plane to help the Baudelaires + Josephine?

The Miserable Mill

1. What if Violet and Klaus never figured out Georgina's scheme?

2. What if Violet had never yelled 'Fire' and taken out all the workers from their trance?

The Austere Academy

1. What if Larry had never lost the book like a stupid dumbass?

2. What if the Quagmires had never been caught by Olaf?

The Ersatz Elevator

1. What if Olivia had never met Jacques?

2. What if the Baudelaires had identified Esme's true nature beforehand?

The Vile Village

1. What if the absolute fucking idiots of the village had just listened to the Baudelaires?

2. What if the Baudelaires had managed to escape with Hector and the Quagmires?

The Hostile Hospital

1. What if Esme had found the Sugar Bowl before Kit arrived?

2. What if the Snicket File had somehow gotten destroyed before either the Baudelaires or Olaf got to see it?

The Carnivorous Carnival

1. What if Olaf had identified the Baudelaires in their pretty terrible attempt of a freak outfit?

2. What if the Baudelaires had never been reunited with Olivia or watched any of the VFD Files?

The Slippery Slope

1. What if the Baudelaires had never met Quigley?

2. What if Quigley had never been separated from the Baudelaires?

The Grim Grotto

1. What if the Baudelaires had never been intercepted by Fiona?

2. What if Fernald hadn't helped the Baudelaires to escape?

The Penultimate Peril

1. What if the Baudelaires had never met Dewey?

2. What if the Sugar Bowl had been saved by someone at last?

The End

1. What if the Baudelaires had never figured out Ishmael's scheme, and had gotten successfully drugged enough to forget their past?

2. What if Olaf hadn't been a dumbass and released the Medusoid Mycelium on the island?

The Epilogue

1. What if Beatrice II had not managed to survive the returning trip?

2. What if Lemony had never received Beatrice II's letter?

(help im ✨mentally dying✨)

[divergentdiesel]

me 🤝 slipping v.f.d. into everyday conversations and praying someone understands me

[frost-queen]

Tickle fights ~ Olivia & Jacques

Requested by: @olivia-caliban-snicket

❥ It would be a normal day. Any day.

❥ Somehow, somewhere there started a craving inside her. An urge to do something silly and so off guard.

❥ Surely when Jacques would keep teasing her with his muscles flexes. He wasn't even doing it on purpose. Those arm muscles showing even when he picked up the phone.

❥ Making her stare at him. At every given moment. Mesmorized by him. Anything he did made her love him more.

❥ One day during a mission, she felt the craving again. Unable to resist her sudden urges.

❥ Jacques in all seriousness, hovering over some plans. Humming deeply at his own thoughts.

❥ Caught off guard by Olivia's sudden grabby hands. Her fingers tickling his side firm.

❥ Jacques squirming in surprise at the sudden touch.

❥ "Liv, what did you just do?"

❥ Olivia only laughing as he did it again. Showing him again what she did. Tickling him to her delight.

❥ Jacques squirmed once more, chuckling at the feeling.

❥ The sudden look in his eyes warned her. Warned her of the war that was about to unleash. For he was not a man to stand down.

❥ Jacques would run after her. Hearing her screams through-out the room in order to catch her and teach her a lesson.

❥ Picking her up once he had caught her. Locking her leg between his and keeping his arm around her. Using his free hand to tickle her.

❥ Tickle her with every might, feeling her squirm in his grip for an escape. Close to crying from laughter.

❥ To ease her pains, he would kiss her shoulder and neck. Holding her tightly as she begged for surrender.

❥ Being both competitive, it unleashed a tickle war. Now wherever or at any given opportunity one might try to catch the other off guard by tickling.

❥ Always making up with kisses afterwards.

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Read more of my fics on my Masterlists!

[ilostdoor-itgone-ohno]

Imma start off by saying I'm real sorry and any trauma caused is not my fault.

This is a bunch of abandoned doodles I did a couple of years ago but I recently remembered that the song "50 Ways To Say Goodbye" by "Train" existed and it's the ONLY thing I have been listening to for the past 3 days. Anyway these doodles are each relating to a way to say goodbye, or I tried twisting it to somehow fit? (Kinda, not really) It's the best I got. ALSO MAJOR SPOILERS FOR ASOUE.

Okay it only let me post 10 so...

[keqing-addict]

Talking rings and talking cradles

I wish I could un-recall

How we almost had it all

- loml, Taylor swift, the tortured poets department

[vfdarlings]

what are your favorite j/o headcannons?

oh girl this was a hell of an ask to receive *rubs hands together evilly*

olivia cannot cook to save her life. Thankfully, jacques is an amazing chef, and looks cute in the kitchen!!

autistic jacques audhd olivia. No I do not take criticism, I am correct

bisexual j/o nation RISE UP

jacques is an early riser and livy sleeps late; if he leaves for work before she wakes he leaves her a sweet good-morning note.

girl dad jacques snicket. Enough said.

jacques learned how to braid as a kid because he’d do kit’s hair for training. Now, he likes to braid olivia’s hair <3

the taxi slowly fills up with bobby pins and picked flowers and bookmarks. Jacques notices one day and nearly proposes on the spot. (I’m in the middle of a fic about this!! Stay tuned <3)

olivia’s loud in bed. Fight me

(jacques is too)

jacques is a super-light sleeper so if livy has nightmares he wakes really easily. At first she tried to convince him to go back to sleep, but with time she allows him to stay up and hold her

j plays piano and o plays guitar; they like to make up songs together, and issy sometimes writes lyrics!!

sooooo many cuddles and kisses

forehead kisses especially; olivia likes to press her lips to the creases of worry on her husband’s forehead and cradle his face until he smiles. (God theyre cute)

hugging from behind while j cooks!!

and I could go ON but I wont *holds it in*

thank you sooo much I LOOOVE asks like this!!

[mmalaria]

Jacques Snicket is a butch lesbian. To me. Do you understand. Is anyone there

[unfortunatetheorist]

If Esmé didn't trust Olivia during the events of The Vile Village, what would have happened?

***N.B. This is a Netflix-Canon Theory - in future, I'll just use NCT, but I don't think I'll do [m]any book-canon theories, all the masters (@snicketstrange, @snicketsleuth, @thesnicketfile, etc.) have picked a lot of it apart, in INSANE-ly brilliant detail.***

This is a question that I have pondered for a while and, frankly, it's about time I made a theory for it.

Ok, time to focus.

In TVV, we see a desperate Olivia make a deal with a sugar-bowl-hungry Esmé to get out of jail. In fact, this is something that is done by many characters throughout the timeline of the series - it's the reason Beatrice and Bertrand Baudelaire stayed alive for so long.

The sugar bowl is undoubtedly a symbol of power, and a crystal-clear reflection of Lord Acton's (rather) famous quote:

Power/The Sugar Bowl corrupted the entire organisation! In the flashbacks of TPP, we see the start of the schism that will literally, figuratively, and a bit ironically, "burn V.F.D. to the ground".

The series gives us a Very Frank Description of why Esmé craves her beloved sugar bowl - "it completes [her] tea set".

So it makes complete sense for her to scream like a madwoman (well, to me at least) when Beatrice and Lemony (more or less) run off with it.

But if Esmé didn't trust Olivia during TVV, what would've happened? I think:

Everyone, the Baudelaires included, would still have ended up at Heimlich Hospital.

Esmé would've focused on helping Olaf (again) in trying to capture the Baudelaires (again).

The Baudelaires would NOT have found out that one of their parents may have been alive; Olaf, Esmé, and the troupe would've searched high and low for them, and would've found them at about the same time as they did in the show, if not, earlier.

Kit would've taken the sugar bowl to the V.F.D. HQ, in the Mortmain Mountains, in a storyline where the events of The Slippery Slope get brought forward to the end of The Hostile Hospital / the start of The Carnivorous Carnival - The Sinister Duo threaten Kit to hand over the sugar bowl, or they burn the V.F.D. HQ; she uses Beatrice's wings to fly, but The Duo burn the HQ down in addition to sending the eagles after her.

So, in short, nothing much. Well, as far as I can work out...

¬ Th3r3534rch1ngr4ph, Unfortunate Theorist/Snicketologist

[rookthebird]

if you're writing a jacques snicket/olivia caliban fanfiction why haven't you quoted twelfth night act i scene v. (the speech that starts at line 223)

like. obviously every vfd member has at least three of shakespeare's plays floating around in their brains somewhere (even count olaf)

[aseriesofunfortunatetexts]

asoue + reductress

[astheworldgoesonitswickedway]

Olivia Caliban’s (Netflix version) perspective. Still so sad she never got her happy ending with Jacque. 🥺

All my life I waited,

For some great chance to take,

For a way to matter,

An important difference to make.

So I gave my whole life,

When he showed me the path,

How could I know,

There was no stopping their wrath.

We lost one another,

When we could finally see,

A love born out of time,

Simply not meant to be.

I lost them too,

After so long in fighting,

To put out the fires,

We could see lighting.

I’ll be right behind you,

That’s what I said,

But it was a lie,

My blood was already shed.

It was far, far too late,

We knew someone would die,

For those lions and villains,

So I said my goodbye.

I was always just behind,

Running and never reaching,

Never able to provide them a life,

Beyond hiding and seeking.

Perhaps I have saved them,

The best way I could,

Perhaps they’re still out there,

Surviving as V.F.D. would.

[acacia-may]

Jacques Snicket x Olivia Caliban? Fell in love with this ship during the Netflix series 💗

Oh Anon-Friend, thank you so much for this! 💖 It's a very rare treat that I'll get A Series Of Unfortunate Events ask, especially about Netflix Jacques and Olivia which is just such a great pairing! There's just something about the dynamic between these two in any universe that has always been of particular fascination and interest to me, but not to worry: I hear you, Anon, and will make sure to answer this ask for Netflix Jacques x Netflix Olivia specifically for you since things are definitely different there lol (and yes, I also absolutely ship them 100% in the Netflix series)! 🥰

Thank you so much for playing my song + headcanon game and for your ask! Your song and headcanon are below the cut.

This required some digging through my old Jacques x Olivia playlist (which I did have way, way back before I had Spotify or Tumblr lol), and I was pleasantly surprised with my options (which made for a bit of a difficult choice 😅). Ultimately, I decided on "Taxi" by The Maine. Aside from the obvious reasons (like the title and the whole concept of people falling in love in a taxi), I think there is this sort of bittersweetness to the song that fits with this pairing and this series, I mean the lines: "When you asked me, "Is the sadness everlasting?"/I pulled you closer, looked at you and said, "Love, I think it is" could have actually been in ASOUE, and I think the whole point of this song is that even if that sadness and the wicked way of the world "creeps on in," that doesn't change the fact that they love each other. There's something really beautiful in this sentiment of even though I can't save you or completely protect you from the sadness and unfortunate events that are out there, I can and will stay by your side and support you through it and you won't have to be alone anymore. That bridge is my favorite part of the song and has always really reminded me of Jacques in the Netflix series and of this pairing:

"I can't say that I can make you feel Complete or free from your worry But believe me when I tell you "Babe, you'll never be lonely" You'll never be lonely You'll never be lonely Don't you understand? You won't be alone again"

Taxi - YouTube

Despite the bittersweetness of that song, I'm going to give you a happier taxi-themed headcanon in a universe where they get their (much deserved) happily ever after:

On Sunday afternoons, Jacques and Olivia always go out for a leisurely drive in the taxi. Early in their relationship, it was just a way to unwind for a little bit and spend time together: catching up about the events of the previous week, talking about any plans for the upcoming week, and discussing anything that was on either of their minds. They continued the tradition after they married, and when they had children, they would go out for family Sunday drives together: sharing fun stories with each other, talking and laughing about their kids' interests, and playing car games together (and Beethoven, of course).

[just-an-enby-lemon]

I should stop having fanfic ideas. I'll likely never write any of them and they aren't good (though I do want to finish my WTNV because I did start if) but they invade my mind and I can't stop thinking about them.

Right now, my brain decided that the best way for me to not be thinking about all the thing that I have to do and how they will go wrong was to think about what if series!Olivia had read the book and had the same ideas but was recruited by a way more book accurated morally gray VFD to a Jacques that is still cool and suave but also overworked, ready to implode in unadressed trauma and not as heroic. Larry and Jacqueline should still be there. I like them. I think they can easily be integrated to the grayer, older and even more complex book version of VFD easilly.

Now I think that Olivia being there (and Lulu being a separated person) as well as Jacques not being a lone agent would have changed things. But mostly I just want the story of a lonely young woman thinking she finally got something that can change the world for the better and slowly realizing that it can only really work if a lot of things change. How someone who didn't "volunteer' as kid would deal with it and how it would be likelt way closer to what VFD was when it started (because I do think it was a good thing at first). And I like stories of disapointment and the end of hero workship specially if this idea still has the hope of understand people are mixed salads and trying to make something better with the broken pieces.

[mutifandom-mess12]

The sexiest thing about this scene is that rather than one of those lame “you look better/more attractive without your glasses” moments Jacques just cleans her glasses

#relationship goals

[vfdarlings]