#jacques snicket and olivia caliban

[lokiprincess]

Lemony Snicket, The Beatrice Letters

[aseriesofunfortunatetexts]

asoue + tumblr text posts

[jeaninesfavouriteserum]

me 🤝 slipping v.f.d. into everyday conversations and praying someone understands me

[erenfox]

My Biggest What-Ifs of A Series of Unfortunate Events (Series Only)

The Night of the Opera:

1. What if Beatrice and Lemony had just taken the fucking sugar instead of the whole ass Sugar Bowl?

2. What if Olaf's father had never been shot by the poison dart?

The Bad Beginning:

1. What if Violet, Klaus and Sunny had never gone to the Briny Beach that day?

2. What if Violet and Klaus had never figured out Olaf's scheme to marry Violet irl?

The Reptile Room:

1. What if Monty's dumbass had just straight up recognised Olaf?

2. What if the Baudelaires had actually been fooled by Olaf's disguise, or had just pretended to be fooled?

The Wide Window:

1. What if Josephine hadn't been charmed away by Olaf, being still distraught about Ike and all?

2. What if the Quagmire parents had actually come down via their plane to help the Baudelaires + Josephine?

The Miserable Mill

1. What if Violet and Klaus never figured out Georgina's scheme?

2. What if Violet had never yelled 'Fire' and taken out all the workers from their trance?

The Austere Academy

1. What if Larry had never lost the book like a stupid dumbass?

2. What if the Quagmires had never been caught by Olaf?

The Ersatz Elevator

1. What if Olivia had never met Jacques?

2. What if the Baudelaires had identified Esme's true nature beforehand?

The Vile Village

1. What if the absolute fucking idiots of the village had just listened to the Baudelaires?

2. What if the Baudelaires had managed to escape with Hector and the Quagmires?

The Hostile Hospital

1. What if Esme had found the Sugar Bowl before Kit arrived?

2. What if the Snicket File had somehow gotten destroyed before either the Baudelaires or Olaf got to see it?

The Carnivorous Carnival

1. What if Olaf had identified the Baudelaires in their pretty terrible attempt of a freak outfit?

2. What if the Baudelaires had never been reunited with Olivia or watched any of the VFD Files?

The Slippery Slope

1. What if the Baudelaires had never met Quigley?

2. What if Quigley had never been separated from the Baudelaires?

The Grim Grotto

1. What if the Baudelaires had never been intercepted by Fiona?

2. What if Fernald hadn't helped the Baudelaires to escape?

The Penultimate Peril

1. What if the Baudelaires had never met Dewey?

2. What if the Sugar Bowl had been saved by someone at last?

The End

1. What if the Baudelaires had never figured out Ishmael's scheme, and had gotten successfully drugged enough to forget their past?

2. What if Olaf hadn't been a dumbass and released the Medusoid Mycelium on the island?

The Epilogue

1. What if Beatrice II had not managed to survive the returning trip?

2. What if Lemony had never received Beatrice II's letter?

(help im ✨mentally dying✨)

[hello-mystery]

Who's your favourite romantic ASOUE ship?

idk man i just really like Olivia x Jacques

[artements]

Lemony doesn't know Jacques loved Olivia because Jacques left some message behind or he found some anecdote from others about the two of them.

Lemony knows Jacques loved Olivia because he found his brother's spyglass held to her body.

[keqing-addict]

Talking rings and talking cradles

I wish I could un-recall

How we almost had it all

- loml, Taylor swift, the tortured poets department

[emmettverhoogen]

thinking.

canonically, esmé never killed (or lemony who never investigated enough to let it implied in the texts) anyone with her own hands in the same way as olaf who has his fingerprints all over wherever he touches. but lemony insists she is as dangerous and wicked as count olaf.

there’s the quagmire fire mystery (or coincidence), but I don’t think esmé killed them to get the sapphires because she was basically in the same position mr. poe was with the baudelaire fortune after their parents died. I like the thought and theory though

there’s olivia, who died primarily because of esmé’s disinterest to see olaf sharing attention with somebody else, but there’s nothing other than the word of the carnival freaks that (legally, I guess, I don’t know, that’s a shower thought) links esmé to olivia’s death because esmé didn’t actually push her into the pit with her own hands.

there’s the baudelaire fire, but again, I don’t think she set that fire, and I’ll write a fic about it later, and as far as I remember lemony never let it be understood that he suspected esmé’s involvement in this fire.

so… what exactly did esmé do or is capable of doing to be considered as cruel as olaf?

I like the thought of her with her own gloved hands killing jacques in the vile village, although the biggest rival and the one who took the blame to the grave was olaf.

if jerome survived the hotel fire along with esmé, did she kill him soon after just to burn files that could compromise her in the future? did she seduce, buy, and kill more inconvenient people in the past?

that’s something I’d like to know in a new lemony book. just a mention of the crimes of esmé ??? to give me an idea of how a threat she is without olaf and the orphans in the way

or perhaps I’ll have to keep working on my own headcanons

[unfortunatetheorist]

If Esmé didn't trust Olivia during the events of The Vile Village, what would have happened?

***N.B. This is a Netflix-Canon Theory - in future, I'll just use NCT, but I don't think I'll do [m]any book-canon theories, all the masters (@snicketstrange, @snicketsleuth, @thesnicketfile, etc.) have picked a lot of it apart, in INSANE-ly brilliant detail.***

This is a question that I have pondered for a while and, frankly, it's about time I made a theory for it.

Ok, time to focus.

In TVV, we see a desperate Olivia make a deal with a sugar-bowl-hungry Esmé to get out of jail. In fact, this is something that is done by many characters throughout the timeline of the series - it's the reason Beatrice and Bertrand Baudelaire stayed alive for so long.

The sugar bowl is undoubtedly a symbol of power, and a crystal-clear reflection of Lord Acton's (rather) famous quote:

Power/The Sugar Bowl corrupted the entire organisation! In the flashbacks of TPP, we see the start of the schism that will literally, figuratively, and a bit ironically, "burn V.F.D. to the ground".

The series gives us a Very Frank Description of why Esmé craves her beloved sugar bowl - "it completes [her] tea set".

So it makes complete sense for her to scream like a madwoman (well, to me at least) when Beatrice and Lemony (more or less) run off with it.

But if Esmé didn't trust Olivia during TVV, what would've happened? I think:

Everyone, the Baudelaires included, would still have ended up at Heimlich Hospital.

Esmé would've focused on helping Olaf (again) in trying to capture the Baudelaires (again).

The Baudelaires would NOT have found out that one of their parents may have been alive; Olaf, Esmé, and the troupe would've searched high and low for them, and would've found them at about the same time as they did in the show, if not, earlier.

Kit would've taken the sugar bowl to the V.F.D. HQ, in the Mortmain Mountains, in a storyline where the events of The Slippery Slope get brought forward to the end of The Hostile Hospital / the start of The Carnivorous Carnival - The Sinister Duo threaten Kit to hand over the sugar bowl, or they burn the V.F.D. HQ; she uses Beatrice's wings to fly, but The Duo burn the HQ down in addition to sending the eagles after her.

So, in short, nothing much. Well, as far as I can work out...

¬ Th3r3534rch1ngr4ph, Unfortunate Theorist/Snicketologist

[vfdarlings]

whats your favorite part abt the jacques/olivia dynamic? :-)

i’d say it’s the banter and interactions!! jacques seems like, as part of vfd, he hasn’t talked about himself or his past very much to anyone, so in the show I love seeing him talk about his past with olivia and have her listen intently. they also have lots of back-and-forth, bantering dialogue (“how fast can we get there?” “how fast can you drive?”) and I just really enjoy the companionship between them. I’m of the firm opinion that great romances are build on a foundation of great friendships, and they have such sweet interactions that show how well they work together. even if there was no romance involved, they’d be such good friends and I love to see it.

[snicketbae]

my contribution to @asouefanworkevent! some Olivia/Jacques for @accidentallylita 🥰 I imagined this to be a brief moment of downtime shortly after they met... and shortly before things went sideways.

hope you enjoy! I had a lot of fun!

[aseriesofunfortunatetexts]

asoue + reductress

[rookthebird]

if you're writing a jacques snicket/olivia caliban fanfiction why haven't you quoted twelfth night act i scene v. (the speech that starts at line 223)

like. obviously every vfd member has at least three of shakespeare's plays floating around in their brains somewhere (even count olaf)

[just-an-enby-lemon]

Jacques has a real problem of having only "yes man" as his non-VFD connections. And that goes to all versions of him!

.

Book Jacques: Buy that penthouse. And NEVER EVER EVER sell it to anyone.

Book Jerome: ... uh sure... why?

Book Jacques: No reason. Don't ask.

Book Jerome: okay. *buys the penthouse and doesn't ever sells or investigate it*

.

Netflix Jacques: Join my shady secret organization.

Netflix Olivia: Okay. I did read a book about it after all.

[mmalaria]

Jacques Snicket is a butch lesbian. To me. Do you understand. Is anyone there

[artements]

Jacques "Kissing my wife on the temple" Snicket

Jacques "Picking out my daughters outfits" Snicket

Jacques "2 AM literary debates because neither my wife nor I can sleep" Snicket

Jacques "Girl Dad" Snicket

Thank you.