#situation and it would have been interesting if not for the underlying like... 'you never know! there IS a big chance that they are sexist

[vroomvro0mferrari]

CL16 | Oblivious

Sorry it took me so long, I was really busy with finals the last couple of weeks but I've finally finished the fic from the poll! I hope you like it :)

Summary: Charles has been blatantly flirting with Y/N for months, but she's the only one who hasn't noticed.

Charles Leclerc x Sainz!Reader

WC: 2.4K

Warnings: None

Masterlist

Charles was busy in the garage, talking with his mechanics when he saw her walk in. Y/N Sainz, the younger sister of his friend and teammate. He had seen her many, many times when she came to support her brother at his races. It seemed like Charles could sense her presence, knowing she was there without having seen or heard her, always looking up right when she walked in. Y/N Sainz was greatly loved by the Ferrari employees. With her bubbly personality, witty jokes, and bright smiles, all the team members enjoyed her presence. And Charles couldn’t help but feel the same way, although Y/N was completely oblivious to his affection. 

His face lit up when their eyes met, instantly smiling at her company. As soon as she was close enough, he greeted her, “Ah Y/N! Nice to see you again, you look lovely today!” He grinned.

“Oh, thank you, Charles. You’re so kind!” She responded with a bright smile as she hugged him in greeting, the flirty undertone going by entirely unnoticed.

Charles had been enamoured with Y/N since the first time they met. In an effort to not come off too strong and scare her away, Charles tried to flirt with her subtly. However, after several occurrences without any reaction from Y/N, it seemed his flirting was too subtle. Either that or she was not into him. But he couldn’t give into that possibility just yet.

As time passed and Y/N became a more familiar face in the paddock, Charles’s flirtations became bolder. He’d constantly try to include her in conversations and would make up all kinds of excuses just to talk to her. Whenever he did manage to string her into another conversation, he’d try to make her laugh as much as he could. Simply because he could, and because he loved to see her happy and smiling. And if he was feeling really confident, he would even go as far as to touch her arm or the small of her back while they were chatting away or walking around the paddock together. Nevertheless, to Charles's frustration, Y/N didn’t seem to notice his underlying motives, dismissing his actions and words as nothing more than friendly gestures.

Meanwhile, everyone else who had ever been around the duo seemed to have caught sight of the one-sided infatuation and attempt at courtship. Everybody except for Y/N had noticed Charles was desperately trying to make his feelings for the girl obvious, but she simply kept friend-zoning him. Frankly, he found it embarrassing. 

Nearly all of Charles’s fellow drivers had been caught up in one of his attempts to woo Y/N while she simply brushed his compliments off as friendly comments. It was hard not to notice Charles’s fruitless flirting when he did it right in front of them, but they didn’t say anything about it. His colleagues merely exchanged knowing glances with others aware of the situation, amused at Charles’s futile attempts at winning Y/N over. But as time wore on, and Charles kept trying, at least a few of his colleagues started to comment on his persistence, calling him a simp, and joking about his poor flirting. Some suggested he should stop his pursuit of Y/N, as it seemed she wasn’t interested, but Charles was relentless: he would not quit until he knew for sure Y/N Sainz didn’t and would never like him.

And so, when Charles spotted Y/N walking through the paddock with Lando, one of the people in the paddock she got along with better, talking animatedly and laughing loudly with each other, he approached her once more; he would seize any opportunity to blatantly flirt with Y/N. He quickly caught up with the two, putting his hand on the small of her back as he matched his speed with theirs. “You’re absolutely radiant today, chérie” He greeted her with a cheeky grin.  

Y/N looked to her side, greeting the new presence “Hey, Charles!” As oblivious as always, she sweetly smiled up at him and replied, “Thanks! You’re such a sweet friend!”

Lando was a mere bystander in the situation as he observed the interaction, surprised and amused at the ease with which Y/N once again waved off the man who was so clearly crushing on her. He held his opinions back until Charles left, “Wow, you certainly have no trouble friend-zoning him, don’t you?” He commented.

Y/N cocked her head as she looked at him, her brows furrowed. “What do you mean?”

Lando laughed humourlessly, “Dear God, you really have no idea?” He paused, “Y/N, Charles has been flirting non-stop with you for ages. How on earth have you not noticed?”

She stopped walking and looked at him in confusion, “He’s not flirting with me, Lando, he’s just being nice. He’s a good friend.” 

“I’m actually quite sure he’s flirting with you, Y/N. So is everyone else. You could literally ask any of the drivers, and they would confirm it. The Ferrari employees too, I reckon. He likes you, Y/N.” He said unimpressed.

“Charles likes me?” She asked softly, suddenly turning shy, a blush creeping onto her face.

Lando sighed, realising his friend was even more oblivious than he initially thought. “Yeah, he does. I’m honestly surprised you’ve never noticed.” He gently squeezed her shoulder before they parted ways.

— — —

For the rest of the day, Y/N thought about Lando’s words. She thought about all her interactions with Charles over the last few months and realised that he did compliment her quite often. 

Once, on a sunny afternoon, Y/N was chatting with some of the Ferrari team members near the garage when Charles spotted her. He, as always, decided to walk over to talk with her, his usual charming smile on his face and mischief in his eyes.

"Y/N, only you can make a sunny day even brighter," he said with a big, playful smile and admiration in his voice.

Y/N blinked at him, surprised by his sudden appearance and his bold statement. "Oh, thank you, Charles! That's really sweet of you to say."

Unfazed by her obliviousness, Charles pressed on, determined to make his feelings known after such a long time. "No, really," he insisted, his gaze unwavering. "I mean it. You bring a brightness to the paddock that I can't quite explain."

Y/N laughed softly, “Well, um, thank you. That’s very kind. What can I say? I try my best.” She replied with a smile.

Another time, Y/N was in the team hospitality when she accidentally spilt her drink, leaving an obvious stain on her white shirt. Charles, who was, unsurprisingly, standing nearby (as always), had noticed immediately and courteously offered one of his extra Ferrari shirts. When he saw the girl he had liked for months in his clothes, wearing his driver’s number, he naturally couldn’t resist the urge to flirt with Y/N.

"Have I ever told you how stunning you look in red?" he remarked, his eyes sparkling with mischief and fondness at the sight of her.

Y/N laughed and replied, "No, I don't think you have," smiling at him in a friendly manner.

"Well, consider it said," he said, his tone playful. "You wear it better than anyone else, that's for sure."

Y/N laughed softly, appreciating her friend’s words, "I doubt that’s true, but thanks, Charles."

Thinking back to these moments, Y/N realised maybe Charles had indeed been flirting with her. However, he might just be like that with all of his friends, complimenting everyone he cares about. Nevertheless, now that Lando had brought this to her attention, she would surely pay extra attention to what Charles would say to her tomorrow.

— — —

The next day, Charles had caught her in a conversation again. They were talking about the race and the current situation with Ferrari. He mentioned the pressure from the team and all the fans that want him to do well, and that the car and the strategies aren’t working the way he wants them to. Of course, Y/N tried to reassure him; to relieve the pressure and stress Charles was feeling. He absolutely adored the way she was trying to comfort him and was not afraid to let her know, “I have to admit, Y/N, nobody can cheer me up like you can. You calm my nerves like no one else,” he said, looking at her lovingly while he expressed his feelings.

Y/N didn’t know how to respond. This was the first time she noticed he was flirting with her whilst he was actually doing it, and she had no idea how to react. When she felt her face heat up, she could only assume she was blushing from the nerves. She diverted her gaze, trying to come up with a good reply to Charles’s advances. How did she usually respond when Charles complimented her? She couldn’t remember now.

Charles was confused at Y/N’s lack of response to his remark. Normally, she’d immediately smile at him and thank him for whatever compliment he’d come up with, but now, she was looking away, and - was he seeing that right? Was she blushing? He had flirted with her countless times, but she had never blushed at any of his comments. Had she finally noticed his advances? Charles watched her with an amused smile while she searched for the right words.

Eventually, she shyly smiled at him, meeting his eyes in a fleeting glance before responding, “I’m glad to be of help.”

Charles, Charles, proud that he was the one to cause her flustered appearance, decided to push a little further, curious to see what would happen, “You really have no idea how much you mean to me, Y/N. Your support helps me so much.” Charles smiled gently and put his hand on her arm. When there’s no immediate response, he continues, “Anyway, I have to get ready for the race. I’ll see you later, yeah?” Y/N merely nodded and watched him walk away.

Her brother had been watching the interaction from a distance, observing the way his sister responded to Charles’s obvious flirting and, too, noticing the difference. “You finally figured it out, huh?” He said with a teasing smile. Y/N rolled her eyes at him in annoyance, but Carlos just continued, “You should let him know you like him too.” Y/N didn’t respond. “You do like him don’t you?” He asks, confused at her unresponsiveness. “Leave me alone, Carlos!” She replied, pushing her brother away. He laughed at her; that reaction was enough for him to know the answer to his question. He ruffled her hair and walked away, also needing to get ready for the race.

After her short talk with Charles, Y/N was sure that he liked her, but how to proceed? She could barely focus on the cars going around the track while all types of ideas were racing around in her head. What on earth was she supposed to do now? Should she wait until the next time Charles would flirt with her, or should she make the move instead? Considering Carlos’s advice, she decided she should take matters into her own hands.

She walked up to Charles as soon as she saw him entering the garage after the race. She had always thought Charles was incredibly attractive – like most women, but he looked especially handsome after he had raced.

“Hey, good job on the race!” She greeted Charles, pulling him into a hug. She looked at him for a second or two, contemplating whether she should actually do this. She smiled up at him shyly, “You know, I love the way your hair looks after a race.” She said blushing, running one of her hands through his messy hair. Charles is surprised at her comment, but he’s shocked at her hand in his hair. This is the first time she has complimented him – or at least, initiated it. Let alone, her touching him in such an intimate way. His eyes were wide and his mouth was slightly agape as he stared at her in disbelief. It was now Charles’s turn to be flustered as Y/N finally reciprocated his attempts at flirting.

In his silence, Y/N decided to continue, “It’s hot.” She said, avoiding eye contact. Charles was unsure how to respond. He had never experienced a situation like this before; he always knew exactly what to say, but she had caught him off guard. After Y/N had friend-zoned him countless times, he was definitely not expecting this; he was not sure what to do.

The absence of a reply only made Y/N more nervous. She distanced herself from him, letting her hand fall from his hair, realising she probably shouldn’t have touched him without permission. Charles was quick to notice her retreat and held her face to stop her from leaving. He raised her chin to make their eyes meet and asked her softly, “Let me take you to dinner?” while he stared at her with adoration.

Y/N smiled at him fondly and nodded her head, “I’d like that, Charles. I’d really like that.” 

“Good,” He said firmly, his smile growing wider, matching hers. “I have to leave now for the debrief, but I’ll text you, okay?” 

Y/N nodded her head in response, letting out a hum. Charles pulled her face closer with the hand on her cheek, and fleetingly kissed her forehead before leaving, looking over his shoulder to catch her gaze one last time.

Y/N stood still in shock for a while, processing what just happened. She had agreed to go on a date with Charles. She was staring outside, letting the situation sink in as she watched people pass by in the busy paddock. Suddenly, she spotted Lando waving wildly at her, trying to get her attention. When he realised that she had seen him, he smiled mischievously and gave her a thumbs-up, assuming the kiss he saw Charles give her was a good sign. Y/N rolled her eyes at him, annoyed by his nosiness, but Lando just laughed, amused at her bother and glad his meddling had helped.

[starpunkd]

I'm currently seeing a lot of the same debate which happened years ago, when the GWA chapters were being released. The debate which I personally find stupid, as well, people with a minimum amount of reading comprehension and a little thinking applied to it, would surely see what the author's intention is. Like, it's just there. Read it, perceive it. It's just. There.

Still, I see people who at this point, seeing this

and still saying it's proof that "Sebastian only cares about eating Ciel's soul. Oh, and Ciel just wants his revenge and blah-blah-blah. Oh, and they hate each other, of course..." To which I'd like to roll my eyes, cuz... there's no point arguing with those people, but I'm writing this mini-meta post for my fellow Sebaciel shippers, so that they never lose confidence under stupid brainless people's attacks.

OK. First, I want to retract from the "90% earnest soul-eating attempt" performed by Sebastian in the GWA. I want to point out something in the aftermath of the Circus Arc. I read it a long time ago, but I've been rewatching all the anime adaptations, and I noticed well... some interesting discrepancies to the characters' pronounced motivations. Which, by the way, is TOTALLY OK. Cuz in good storytelling, what a protagonist says out loud he's after, is NEVER what he's really after. In good storytelling, it's the underlying subconscious desires is what's pushing the plot. The pronounced goal is never the real goal, OK? They tell you that in any storytelling class, even the shittiest ones.

So. Baron Kelvin, right? So far he was the ONLY person with a connection (though seemingly a very vague one, but still, a connection) to Ciel's traumatic past. I mean, he knew the cultists who the twins had been sold to. He was close enough to them to be able to recreate the whole interrior of the ritual chamber down at his basement, right? Ok, it was a thin thread, and those cultists are now all dead, but what if not? What if there was somebody else who, much like Baron, intended to take part in the ritual, but couldn't? I mean, it was a thread. A thin one, but a thread nonetheless. It was at least a clue, which could have been investigated.

So. Here's what puzzles me... If I take both Ciel's and Sebastian's pronounced life-goals with complete seriousness, it would have been a huge blunder for them to not have investigated Baron's connections to those cultists and, subsequently to the traffickers who had sould them the twins. It would have been absolutely logical.

But here's the thing. Have they tortured Baron in order for him to remember more about that day? No, they haven't. Alright, one could point out that Ciel was in no state to torture anyone, cuz of his panic attack. A fair point. But Sebastian wasn't. Now here's what's interesting...

What is Sebastian's specific reaction to this situation? What does he do when he sees the person in front of him, who has some connection to the guys, who might have known the other guys who Ciel wants to have his revenge against? Well, frankly, at that moment Sebastian only gives a shit about comforting Ciel, and after he does that, he never brings Baron Kelvin up again. Again, wouldn't it have been logical for Sebastian to suggest they investigate Baron's connections after they burned his mansion? If he were a demon who's ONLY motivated by the prospect of devouring Ciel's soul, he would've jumped at the opportunity to get closer to the completion of the contract. But no. He acts as if he doesn't give a fuck about it, and you know why?

Cuz he really doesn't. What we actually see them do together is continue engage in more jobs for the Queen, which they turn into a series of play-pretend games, first in the Murder Arc, then the Boat Arc, then the Weston school Arc.

By the time of GWA we see them quite comfortable with one another's company, more physical (Ciel outright falls into Sebastian's arms in front of the whole school yard when he absolutely doesn't need to!), and what's more important, they don't mention Ciel's revenge at all. It's like... the topic that doesn't surface anymore. Ciel focuses on his job as a Watchdog, and Sebastian -- on his knight's job, and that's that!

I'd say that this status quo that they've found is something that keeps them both content. They both give one another a meaing and a purpose in life, which they enjoy, if only temporarily. They both know it will have to end one day, but they don't rush it. They take their time. Both of them. And that's what makes Sebastian truly happy.

Now, in GWA, everything changes, and Sebastian gets separated from Ciel, by the boy's own will. Ciel gives him an order not to touch him, which Sebastian isnot willing to obey. He tries to be patient, and let Ciel recover, but it's not working. And here's the thing, while Sebastian can surely be patient with any other stuff (say, digging through piles of trash to recover torn postcard pieces to assemble them back together), he absolutely cannot be patient in this situation. Having lost his master drives him crazy. I love all the little slips he gives out when he serves Seglinde.

But he wants to. Boy does he want to be affectionate and spoil Ciel!

And I love what he does to try and bring Ciel back. Cuz. Well, some shippers like to say that he did attemt to eat Ciel's soul for Ciel's sake only, but I think that's only 90% true. I certainly think that he acted on his selfish demon side as well, cuz he was losing Ciel, he was losing his role of a perfect bulter, he was losing their games. If anything, his action reminded me of a "Woman scorned" trope, when a woman who's wronged by her partner resorts to violence. What he did screamed "bring me back the strong Ciel who I admire serving and pampering, or I will end you and move on!".

Still, I gotta remind you all that Sebastian didn't do it on a whim. He actually expressed his idea of giving Ciel a rough shake in front of the staff and got discouraged by Tanaka.

I mean, it's right there! Here's the author practically beating the meat and chewing it for you to just swallow. And get it all about Sebastian's motivation. I mean, if that page wasn't there, I could have understood why some people are wary of Sebastian's intentions in the almost soul-eating. But look! It's FUCKING THERE!

And oh, he also had an order from Ciel's, saying that he wanted to go home! And that tipped the scale, as well, I think. So like, it was such a mixture of feelings for Sebastian that pushed him into that 90% earnest attempt at soul eating.

And he waited for as long as he could. Until he couldn't. Because of the Queen's letter!

So what's really awesome though is that not only we get Ciel's complete understanding of the whole thing with the soul-eating attempt. Ciel's clearly happy about it. He is grateful even. I mean, look at his face! Their eyes, goddammit!

Cuz he also values the person he's become with Sebastian's help. And their relationship becomes so much stronger and delicately intimate after this arc! You would think that after such an attemt from Sebastian, Ciel would be more mistrustful of him, but that's not the case! He allows Sebastian more freedom and autonomy in the future jobs. Not only that, but Ciel wants Sebastian to have fun and enjoy his demonic side which he, himself has grown to accept and... like, maybe? I mean, it's not fanfiction I'm analysing here, it's fucking canon stuff, come on!

My take in all of it is, Ciel knows. And Sebastian does, too. They both enjoy their time together and they don't want it to end too soon.

So, to conclude, fuck antis and their non-existent media comprehension skills. Sebaciel is canon. Let's enjoy the ride, guys. It's gonna be spectacular.

[official-cvntified-gay]

Attention (Regina George x Reader)

Summary: Regina is used to having the students basically worship her, but not the teacher. She tries to get the teacher's attention.

𝘱.𝘴: 𝘙𝘦𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘢 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘪𝘤

・❥・ 𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙩 𝙩𝙬𝙤 𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙧𝙚���

﹒⪩⪨﹒

"Yes, Ms. George?" I utter with no interest but with enough politeness, as I did to any of my students. I keep my eyes on her as she speaks, listening to every word that comes out of her mouth.

"Thank you Ms. George that was a very good perspective." I nodded at her in acknowledgment. The blonde smirked at me but before she could say something else in front of the class. I cut her " alright, moving on. "Yes, Ms. Jones? Anything else you'd like to add?"

Regina squinted her eyes as her gaze trailed on the young professor, not liking how easily she diverted her attention away from her. Regina never verbally demanded attention, it has always been given to her without her asking for it.

How dare you not give it to her.

She watched you with careful eyes as you entertained another student. She can't help but want you to keep your attention on her. How dare you waltz in with your overwhelming presence that had her squirming in her seat.

Those words did wonders to her mind when all you teach about is history. She craves your attention.

So she always tries to find things to keep it on her.

"Ms. L/n can you help me with this?" She asked, her voice laced with nothing but sweetness but there's an underlying naughtiness deep within it.

Is it because she wore a revealing top that day and it would require you to look down on her?

"You can come here if you need me to help you with something..." You said calmly words treading slowly, wiggling your pen on your fingers as you looked straight into her. She smiled, trying to provoke you but smirked when something crossed her mind.

Her steps echoed across the quiet room as her focus was to get in front of your desk. You lean back on your seat, hands moving on your spread legs. Her eyes took a glance at your arms. Taking note of your rolled-up sleeves and the pen between your fingers.

"Here, miss..." putting her hands on each side of your desk, and that required her to lean forward closer to you. Your gaze is unwavering as you look up at her before slowly looking down at the paper on her desk.

"Seems like you don't need help, Ms. George. Your work is correct" I spoke, letting the words out slowly. I raise my head to look up at her. Not flinching at the short distance between us. I stare into her eyes that's fixated on my lips as I speak.

"Ms. George?" My tone raising a bit at her last name, I raise my eyebrow at her. She didn't even look fazed when I caught her looking at my lips. Instead, she simply smiled at me.

"I know..." she tilted her head a bit to the side, her lips pursing lightly. I cross my arms in front of me, still not moving away from her.

"Hmm?" I questioned, and she gave me a smirk. "I said, I know. I just wanna see you this close," she said proudly. "Huh..." I smirked at her words, I scanned her face for any hint of mischief.

"sit down, Ms. George." I squinted my eyes quickly before motioning with my head for her to take her seat. She bit her lips lightly before obeying me.

"Remember class, come here if you need me to help you with something" I shook my head slightly before I continued reading my book. Not even glancing at the blonde.

'I did need help with something, but it would need to be handled in private' Regina blushed at her thoughts. She wondered if she would talk to Karen and Gretchen about this little crush of hers.

Deciding that she needs to keep these feelings to herself, Regina doesn't know what to do. She's not used to this type of situation. Where someone she's interested in won't even converse with her casually.

Regina's infatuation blossomed, she started going to class early just because she knew that you would be there preparing for your class. She made sure to greet you every time. And every time she gets

"Good morning, Ms. George. Take your seat." So she had no choice but to take her seat, even if she wanted to approach you. You made it very clear that you want to be strictly professional.

But Regina doesn't beat around the bush, she respects you. But that doesn't mean that she won't do anything to satisfy her feelings.

"Need any help, Ms. L/n?" She would always ask, and most of the time you politely decline her offer but when you don't. She makes the most out of it.

"Cool, what do you need me for?" She makes her way to you, making sure to stand close to you.

"I need you to arrange this for me please." You said, handing her a pile of paper. Regina would normally complain about this, but if it's you. Who is she to deny?

"Sure, anything for you." You stared at her when she said that but she just gave you a shrug and a smile before working to arrange the work you gave her.

"You're something, Regina..." Her hand stopped, and her breath got caught for a second. Before it was processed you called her by her name.

"I know... what are you gonna do about it then?" She challenged, leaning closer to you.

"Hmm, I don't know," I said, my voice getting lower. I place her hair behind her ears, my fingers on her chin tilting her head to look at me, "maybe you should do something about it"

Well Regina thought wrong, or maybe you're not being clear?

Realizing your actions, you slowly remove your hand from her but not before finally admiring her. If it weren't for the circumstances you had right now. You'd probably ask her out, but she doesn't need to know that.

"Thank you for your help, Ms. George. You can take your seat now." You turn your back on her, not even looking to see her reaction.

That made Regina confused, she thought she was finally getting something and it turned back down to zero. She groaned quietly in her seat, observing how you casually went back to your work like you didn't do anything to her.

One thing's for sure, she wouldn't stop until she got what she wanted.

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

(𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙤𝙛𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙)

Decided to cut this cause I had to release this for me to continue writing stories again😭 let me know if you want a part 2. And if you have any requests, feel free<3

[jokingmisfit]

Cheshire, Darling

Yandere Jervis Tetch x Fem!Reader

Prompt- “Please, don’t leave me.”

Warnings- Kidnapping, Slightly Delusional Jervis, Stockholm Syndrome, Forced Kiss, Reader isn't currently hypnotized but has been by Jervis before, Use of Y/n, 2nd Person Pov

"Always smiling yet you frown so deeply why is that so, hmm, Cheshire, darling?" His eyes seem to bore so deeply into your own.

You sat tucked on the couch, pink dress fluffed around your ankles you'd pulled up with you. A few stray tears staining your pretty face. A prominent pout lining plump lips.

In all honesty you felt embarrassed, you didn't want him near you, you didn't. Yet, you felt so lonely. So incredibly empty with no one but these mindless drones around. Tweedledee and Tweedledum offer no comfort in your panic and tears. The only person to give you any reprieve was the very man who caused almost, if not all, of your distress.

You didn't want him. You didn't want Jervis Tetch, but if you had to choose between him and the rooms shrouded in loneliness you'd have to choose the crazy company, and that angered you beyond words.

"My dear, I know you can hear." Jervis says with an edge in his perceived calm voice.

A glare passes your eyes. "I don't want you." You say adamantly. You see the frown that presses on his own face. "But, I don't want you to leave..." Your voice trails away and you curl into yourself more.

A smile threatens to break his mask of concern. "What an unfortunate situation." He feigns care and sits next to you. "It truly is such a pity, pretty kitty. So much turmoil."

Jervis sits next to you and unfurls your legs. Laying them across his lap, he moves the laced stockings down, and he massages the flesh softly.

A soft smile slides onto his face as he gazes at you. "You do realize, I hope, that I mean only to love you, as long as it may take for you to reciprocate. I can wait."

"Yet you couldn't wait to kidnap me." You snap silently.

He squeezes your leg a bit too hard this time.

"I only wanted to protect you. This city," His laugh is noiselessly manic. "It is completely unsafe for you, my darling Cheshire, a sweet girl who follows no rules is bound to get hurt." Jervis insists heavily.

"And you think you aren't hurting me?" You emphasize as well.

"I do not harm you." He says solemnly. Suddenly losing interest in your legs and pulling you into his lap completely.

He cups your face with his larger hands, and when you rest your hands on his shoulders his brown hair scratches the backs of them.

His voice is low as he talks. "I would never hurt you." An underlying madness lingers in his eyes.

"But you are..." You whisper. His grip tightens and you debate continuing to speak. "Every day spent alone," An infuriated laugh passes your lips which curl into a snarl like smile. "It's maddening. I'm so confused with every passing second. I don't even know how long it's been." Your breath catches. Tears roll down your cheeks and pass a pitiful smile. "It hurts."

You shake in the jaunty hatters hold. You felt deranged, but how else could you find the gratification you craved? How else could you get him to understand?

Jervis' hand comes up to pet your hair and he leads your face into his neck.

"Y/n, darling... My beautiful muse, you must forgive me." He says as he combs his hands through your hair. "I had no idea you'd been suffering so terribly."

Despite yourself, you wanted to believe him, but his voice betrayed the happiness he felt at breaking down those walls of yours.

"You're not sorry..." You murmur into his neck. You felt like a fool.

"Oh, but I am!" He contends. "I never meant to defile such a lovely smile."

Jervis kisses the side of your head. You feel nauseated. He holds your head up to look at him and moves on to kiss your cheek. You can't help, but cry. He kisses the crook of your neck. You'd really rather cuddle. He kisses your lips softly and sweetly. You wish he would've left you alone. He kisses the tears on your face. You want him to hold you tighter.

He lets out a sigh and looks at his clock. "I apologize, my darling girl, but despite the affairs of the heart, I believe it's time for me to depart." He says sliding you off his lap and standing.

A beat skipped in your chest. After all this he was going to leave you again. Underneath it all, how sadistic can he be?

You grab his hand before he can fully turn away "Please," You breathe out shakily. "Please, don't leave me."

A smile blossoms on his face once more.

"I'm afraid I must go. Cheshire, my dear, you'll be alright without me, that you must know." He smiles sweetly, but a darkness lingers in his eyes.

"No I won't!" You urge pulling his hand towards your chest. "Please, I don't want to be alone... Hatter don't go..." You whine out. You sound desperate, miserable.

"I suppose," Jervis glances at the door. "I could stay just a bit longer." He smiles and sits back down. You practically throw yourself at him and he laughs.

You really do hate him.

But...

When faced with him or being alone, you'll always have to choose him.

[calicoheartz]

Oh oh anddd...

Cait x wbbp!reader. Caitlin confesses to reader after their homecoming game because Caitlin realized that she doesn't want to hide her feelings anymore and possibly lose the love of her life.👀

-🦢

Hoco Hearts ; Caitlin Clark

꣑୧ — summary | you and caitlin had been best friends since middle school , what happens when she decides to make you hers on the eve of your homecoming game? 💌

wc ; 805

— warnings | lots of romantic / sexual tension , a bit suggestive , mainly fluff (high- school au)

my master list ㇀♡

a/n : ugh ily anon. YOUVE BEEN KEEPING ME FEDDD W UR REQS! also sorryyyy its low-key kind of short :( Enjoy besties ◡̈

Caitlin stood beneath the glowing lights of the basketball court, the scent of popcorn and excitement lingering in the air, as the sound of excited highschoolers filled her ears. It was homecoming night, a night pulsating with anticipation and celebration, as everyone gathered to experience the last basketball game of their senior year. But amidst the anticipation and excitement radiating both on and off the court, Cait’s mind was a whirlwind of emotions.

Her eyes glanced across the eyes before locking them onto a familiar and distinctive figure. You were a dedicated member of the girls basketball team at Dowling Catholic highschool, and had been playing varsity since your freshman year. 

You were always there, capturing every moment of the games with unwavering passion, and Caitlin couldn’t help but feel a flutter of nerves in her stomach everytime their eyes met.

Your history with Caitlin goes all the way back to middle school, with you two quickly developing and forming a strong bond, especially with your common interests such as basketball among other things. It was undeniable that you two had underlying romantic feelings for eachother, but the two of you never knew when the right moment was to bring these newfound feelings to light. 

There had been a number of situations where you two had almost shared a kiss, whether it was behind the bleachers after an intensive game,  or possibly alone in the bathroom at a halloween party; regardless, it was very obvious that the two of you were just more than friends.

But Cait was your best friend, she had been there for you when you got your first boyfriend, received your first heartbreak, and all the hallway crushes you had acquired over the years. And it pained her that you weren’t getting the hints she was giving you, the way she glanced at your lips constantly, or occasionally rubbing the inside of your thigh when around your friends, it was torture. 

You knew Caitlin liked girls, she knew that you liked girls, so why weren't the puzzle pieces naturally falling into place? 

That's why when their last homecoming game approached, Caitlin knew that this would be her last chance to confess her feelings before it was too late.

The game was intense, with both teams giving it their all. Caitlin played her heart out, her mind consumed with thoughts of you. Every time she made a play, she hoped you were watching, hoped you could see how much she cared, not just about basketball, but about you.

As the final buzzer sounded and the crowd erupted in cheers, Caitlin felt a mix of emotions. On one hand, she was thrilled that they had won, but on the other, she knew that the moment of truth was fast approaching. She had to tell you how she felt.

After the game, as the team celebrated their victory, Caitlin pulled you aside, her heart pounding in her chest. She took a deep breath, gathering her courage, and looked into your eyes.

"Hey, can we talk?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

You nodded, concern etched on your face. Caitlin led you to a quiet corner of the gym, away from the jubilant crowd.

"I... I have something I need to tell you," Caitlin began, her voice trembling slightly. "I've been keeping this to myself for so long, but I can't hide it anymore. I... I love you, Y/N. More than anything."

You stared at Caitlin, stunned into silence. You had never expected this confession, never even considered that Caitlin might feel the same way you did. Your heart soared with hope, but you needed to be sure.

"Do you mean that, Caitlin?" you asked, searching her eyes for any sign of doubt.

Caitlin took your hands in hers, her gaze unwavering. "I do. I love you, Y/N, and I don't want to hide it anymore. I want to be with you, if you'll have me."

Tears welled up in your eyes as you realized that your feelings were reciprocated, that the person you loved felt the same way. Without hesitation, you threw your arms around Caitlin, pulling her into a tight embrace.

"I love you too, Caitlin," you whispered, your voice filled with emotion. "I've loved you for so long, I just never thought you could feel the same way."

"I've loved you since I was 14.." the brunette whispered back.

Caitlin held you close, her heart overflowing with happiness. She had taken a chance, laid her heart on the line, and it had paid off in the best possible way. She was with the person she loved, and nothing else mattered.

As you both stood there, lost in each other's arms, surrounded by the sounds of celebration, Caitlin knew that this was just the beginning of your love story. And she couldn't wait to see where it would take you.

ahhhhhhh omg wait I rlly wanna write more cc/pb high school au fics !!!! as always, thank you guys so much for reading <3

[pinkkop]

This week's recap is brought to you by "lesbians making out in pools" because that seems to be a recurring theme in Thai GLs. This is certainly not me complaining but I do find it interesting that this has become a thing™. Also I'm thinking I'll make it so I'm always watching at least one GL weekly, so I'm gonna need to find a new one soon. Any recommendations are welcome and it doesn't have to be a show currently airing.

QL Recap for Week 17

The 21st of April to the 27th of April

🇹🇭 Lost in the Woods

Episode 6 of 7 || Watching on: Gagaoolala, Wednesday

This was such a good episode! Loved the usage of the moon in this episode as way to talk about your feelings. Padme and Prod were so cute confessing to each other and then Prod gushing to Hem about the whole situation. It was soooo sweet and it worked well as a way for Hem to realize the difference between his relationship with Fifa vs Prey. I also just loved Fifa and Hem's dynamic this episode. They're just this bickering married couple who love each other so much. There were just so many fond glances and this underlying ease and comfortableness with each other. I'm going to miss them and this show after the final episode!

🇹🇭 My Stubborn

Episode 2 of 10 | | Watching on: iQiYi, Sunday

This keeps being soooo good! I love Sorn and Jun's dynamic and can't wait to see the mess that's going to unfold. Sorn is just down so bad and Jun is on his way there but it's going to take them a while before they're able to communicate that. I would love a look inside Sorn's brain at this point, like does he realize what he's doing and why? Also can I just say that with the amount of kissing and NC scenes this show has had so far I've not gotten bored once. It hasn't felt repetitive and they haven't followed the generic structure and production of NC scenes so many BLs go for these days. I really hope that this keeps being the case, especially if the show keeps revolving around Sorn "teaching" Jun. Give us the slow escalation of sexual acts we never see in QLs!! Give me idiots in love mutually pining while having ALL the sex!!!

🇹🇭 The Bangkok Boy

Episode 1 of 12 || Watching on: Gagaoolala, Saturday

What a first episode! I'm intrigued! It's been a hot minute since we've had a mafia/underworld BL so this was welcome. Also, I do love a good enemies to lovers and this production looks promising so I'm hoping it keeps being great. Also I missed having Top on my screen so that's a bonus!

🇹🇭 Boys in Love

Episode 2 of 12 || Watching on: Youtube, Sunday

This is cute and I like how the relationships are evolving. I'm not entirely sure if there's going to be an overarching plot outside of boys being boys in love because right now it doesn't seem like there's much structure to the plot. I hope the show becomes more coherent because in this episode all the pairings felt like they had their own little show with very little overlap and I really hope that doesn't keep being the case. Especially for Podd and Papang's pairing because it could so easily just feel like two disjointed stories, where one feels like it's entirely there to attract viewers. I hope they prove me wrong but we'll see what happens.

🇹🇭 My Golden Blood

Episode 7 of 12 || Watching on: Youtube, Wednesday

I'm slowly getting more convinced by the Joss and Gawin pairing, though I'm still on the fence about Gawin's performance in this show. Plot-wise I'm still convinced that Khun Thara is a bad guy but I guess we'll find out soon because it turns out Tong's 21st birthday is soon?

🇹🇼 Fight for You

Episode 6 of 12 || Watching on: Gagaoolala, Friday

I'm still a fan of the seduction practice and on the whole this show is decent but I've given up on the plot.

🇹🇭 I'm Your Moon

Episode 7 of 8 || Watching on: iQiYi, Sunday

Glad they figured their shit out but that boat plot was a wild turn before the final episode. At first it just seemed like the usual brief drama before the final ep. but the preview seemed to be something else. Like is Earl just stuck in France now? And does this version of France have no phones or internet? Wild. Also I love that it seems to be tradition by now that the lesbians need to be wet and kissing, preferably in a pool, at least once pr GL.

That's it for this week!!

For links and airing schedule check out World of BL (Only for BLs)

[dragontamer05]

These recent chapters for Iruma are amazing but I think it also really raises up a sort of underlying problem that I really think Asmodeus needs to face which is,

Words Hurt. A lot. And that no matter how frustrated something she does makes him feel that does not make it right for him to keep calling her names Every Time.

Yes Clara is clearly very sensitive (tbh strong RSD energy coming off this girl) and I won't say some of this isn't something she needs to work on as well and not allowing her emotions and feelings to consume and overwhelm her. Not letting those negative thoughts take a hold.

But at the same time I can't help but feel that it does say something to an extent about Asmodeus' treatment toward her and how she views his friendship with Iruma to how he interacts with her.

Because she's not wrong in talking about how different they are and had it not been for Iruma they wouldn't be friends now so while an emotional response it's not totally illogical to conclude that should something happen to cause Iruma to disappear from their lives why would she ever believe he'd still want to hangout and befriends with her. And is so afraid he'd drop her like a rock first chance he got because of it.

And I mean if Iruma messes up or does something silly sure Azz might make a comment but compared to Clara when she gets hyper active or makes a mistake or whatever his first response is to call her things like Dummy, Idiot, Fool ect.

Girl has younger brother's so it's not like she probably can't handle some friendly teasing but I'd imagine there comes a point when hearing it from someone you call a Friend so frequently and constantly it might get you- especially if say she doesn't already find it funny or situation

So while the ending to it was good and sweet I do think it also has opened a door for what could be at some point an interesting exploration of Azz coming to learn BOUNDARIES / maybe that he shouldn't just berate her on every little thing. That his words can and do HURT and maybe learn to pull back and lay off a bit.

100 % I can see them being the kind of friends who can playfully banter back and forth, tease each other in good fun but Azz Azz got some of his own issues to work through since lets be real just like Clara Azz never really had any friends/ other demons his age to spend time with although instead of Being bullied it was more like everyone was to nervous and afraid cause of his status and also he did have a bit of a stand off-ish nature and I don't think ever really tried interacting with other kids anyway.

Plus also maybe Azz Azz being forced to kinda remove those blinders that often lead him to having a rather one track mind and focus on ONLY Iruma. His devotion to him is sweet and all but kid you gotta learn to start broadening that view/attention (Even Kalego has called out how his single minded focus on Iruma is a bit a of a problem and he could probably grow and improve so much more if he could like look beyond or whatever)

[reds-writings]

Hello there lovely!

I saw requests were open so, I'd like to request this fluff prompt with Rust (2012) ;

4) brushing a strand of hair behind their ear

(scenario where we are the ones brushing a strand hair behind his ear)

I thought that I would be interesting and cute since he has long hair and all

Anyways, thank you for your time and if you don't wanna write this is completely fine :)

Bye and take care!

omg! first request ever! this had me so excited! i hope this is to your liking, anon! <3 (sidenote: set in the jj universe after Marty and Rust take down Childress)

Rust sat in your clawfoot bathtub almost deathly still as you gently ran some water over his hair. It had been a few days since his release, more like dash, from the hospital and his insistence on being able to manage his own proved to be a lie when he almost busted his damn stitches open from buckling over after trying to stand on his own for too long. After wrangling him back up you had declared you wouldn’t have no stinking man in your house any longer so a wash-up was in order whether he wanted your help or not. 

This was the last place he thought he’d be accepted into after all this time. Apparently, Marty and you had come to an agreement that this would be the best spot for him to regain his footing while healing up. It was the most familiar, albeit painfully so. 

He felt all seventeen years of pent-up shame and guilt catching up to him at once as you doted on him in silence. The softness of your touch and the warm scent of the perfume you still stayed loyal to after all this time brought him such an overwhelming sense of comfort that he didn’t know what to do with it. It had been so long...being this close.

 He didn’t deserve you. Not then and surely not now. 

He’d never felt so pitiful…so unworthy. You either didn’t notice his swirling internal storm of self-deprecation or you just didn’t care to acknowledge it. You never were one for pity. That’s how he knew he was here because you wanted him to be. Not because of any underlying favors you felt like you might’ve owed him just because you had once been together. 

When you had been notified of the fallout that took place after Errol Childress you hadn't thought your world could be rocked so violently at this point in your life. But it always seemed like, no matter the circumstances, Rust’s existence would have a formidable hold over you one way or another. Sitting there, weeks on end while waiting for him to just wake up had been nothing short of excruciating. He looked dead enough with the way Childress had clearly had taken no mercy. Weathered face sunken in, marred by the near-midnight shade of bruising that had him almost unrecognizable. That nasty stab wound…it was like the sick bastard had been trying to gut Rust clean. 

Thinking about it now had you fighting off the acrid taste of bile rising in your throat from sheer nerves. 

After finishing up and toweling off his frail form you guided him to the guest bed that had been made up for him days prior. Taking a brush to his long, damp hair after getting him dressed you worked your way through its knots as lightly as you could. Hands trembling with such reverent care that you hoped he didn’t clock. This current look of his was something you were still in the process of fully absorbing but you didn’t really find yourself opposing it. He was still as handsome as you remembered, just more tired and more…1993 Tombstone than you were used to. 

There weren't many a situation in this lifetime where you wouldn’t take Rust Cohle just as he was. 

Once you were done you laid him back in bed and brought the covers up to his chest, trying to make him as comfortable as possible in his current state. You remained on the edge of the mattress at his side for an extended bout of time, just taking him in. You’d almost lost him for good and you’d been trying to ignore how it would’ve made you feel had his existence wiped from the earth once and for all. 

It would've completely gutted you no doubt. A fact that could never be denied. Not with the way you’d never stopped truly loving him no matter how much time slipped by. Past transgressions or not.

A deft finger found its way to a greying strand of hair that found itself in his line of sight, softly brushing it back to take purchase behind his ear. The tenderness of the action had his throat growing impossibly tight, the battle of fighting off the burning sheen of his eyes was lost as his bottom lip started to tremble. There was so much to be said that resided within his broken gaze but you just tutted and went to curl up beside him, taking his head to your chest to let him take comfort in hearing the steady thumping of your heartbeat. 

“I-..I’m…s-sorry…” It came out so heartbreakingly choked. For leaving then. For how things turned out now. He wasn’t sure. You’d never witnessed him so fragile. 

“It’s long over with now…hell, I figure you’ve gone through enough lately to consider us even.” You huffed a dry laugh through your nose at the morbidly placed humor as your eyes took on their own stinging wetness. He didn’t have the strength to find it funny, choosing to clutch at you tighter as you graced him into your orbit. Feeling the soft stamp of your lips at his brow and another at his temple was enough to have him cave in completely. All you could do was hold him tight and make him feel a little less alone, 

“If no one else has said it, I’m grateful you were able to stick around.”

[fantasynexus]

A Post about Taash From the Perspective of an Autistic White Woman

Note: this is a opinionated piece with some hint of self reflection.

I relate heavily with Taash in multiple facets of thier character; personality, relationship with thier Mother and identity not just gender dysphoria but cultural identity.

Being an Autistic Woman

The very first interaction I had with Taash is when I realized they are exactly like me. From how they speak, act and most of all from thier special interests in Dragons.

The uninterested attitude when they realize that someone sent people to help them with something they’re an expert in. They’re annoyed, because someone is questioning their ability to get the job done but they deal with it because they’re now stuck with us.

We ask questions and get one word answers she’s still annoyed because of the unexpected turn of her already laid out plan, until we encounter more Antaam. Once she realizes that you can pull your own weight and genuinely interested in Dragons and not wanting to just kill this specific Dragon is when she really starts to open up.

This comes off as rude to Neurotypicals while to me it’s just her being straightforward and honest. It’s a habit I’ve picked up as well, when asked, “How was your day?” I don’t give the long explanation of every facet of my day. I say, “It was fine.” and move on from the question or how I don’t understand the need to say “You’re welcome.” After you’ve been thanked. That’s to say I don’t feel the need to expand onto my answers.

I also don’t like it when people tell me how to do/ insert themselves into an activity / hobby I’ve been doing just fine on my own. Unwanted Criticism on my artwork annoys me. My Grandma still tells me to stop at stop signs even though I’ve been driving for well over ten years and have never ran a stop sign.

Apparently saying, “I know.” Is considered rude to my Grandmother and my comment is met with a “Well I don’t know that you know.” Despite the fact it should be common sense; a 1+1=2 situation.

It took years for my Grandmother to understand I don’t like last minute plans or to warn me a day ahead if she needs my help with something. If she stops me out the door when I’m already dressed to leave for the park or river and she needs help with yard work then in my mind my plans are ruined for the day because in my brain it’s linear, it doesn’t branch out and reorganize instantly.

Overbearing Maternal Figures

When I was 14 my Grandmother gifted me a book called, “Act Like a Lady, Think like a Man” by Steve Harvey. I never read that book because 14 year old me thought it was stupid.

I don’t dress feminine enough for her; I don’t wear enough make up, I talk to masculine, act to masculine and dress to masculine. She hates the fact I don’t care what random people think about me.

This is still a point of contention with my Grandmother to this day, which if I’m getting the underlying context of Taashs’ dialogue when they refer to themselves or their Mother. They experience the exact same issues that I have.

Taash is forced to hide their Fire Breath, which among the Qun is considered a Masculine trait. They speak how their Mother called their hands ‘Big and Clumsy’ when made to upkeep her Dar-saam, a feminine tradition among Qun Women. When Taash brings up Clothing it’s obvious their Mother said something about how they dress.

Their Mother at every point we see or gain a mention of her at the beginning and mid point of the game is constantly critical of Taash from the way they talk, act and dress. Does that mean she doesn’t care for or love Taash? No, because if she didn’t she would have left Taash and returned to the Qun (if she could).

The overbearing and set in their ways maternal figures do love the child but most of the time they refuse to stop seeing you as a child. They coddle you, they want you to fit their ideals and expectations even when you don’t want to. They refuse to expand their world outside what makes them comfortable.

You can see this when Taash prepares Rivaini dishes for their Mother. Even when it’s literally just Bread, Meat and Cheese. It’s still to “Rich” for their Mother. She refuses to eat it despite being a guest at the Lighthouse. Despite getting an answer to what Nonbinary means she redirects Taash to try Qun terminology that doesn’t fit what it means to be Nonbinary.

Aqun-Athlok: Someone Born one Gender but living like another.

There is no in between for that word, for the Qun, you either take on a Masculine or Feminine role within the society.

Being Disconnected From a Culture You Were Never Part of

My Grandmother immigrated as an infant with her Mother; Father, sisters and brother to America from Italy. My Grandmother is a Immigrant but it’s plain to my eyes how disconnected she is from her Mother and Fathers culture.

The closest thing to Italian cuisine she ever makes is Spaghetti, she doesn’t speak Italian, she doesn’t participate in any Italian traditions or cultural events. Yet she still calls herself Italian and calls her children and I Italian by proxy and she can do that she’s more connected to it then I am.

I don’t consider myself Italian, I consider myself a White American. The only connection to Italy I have is through her and when she’s gone that connection will be gone because I’ve never experienced or participated in true Italian culture.

Taash is more connected to the Qun thanks to their Mother. They can kinda speak the language, cook the food and even participate in customs of the Qun but it’s obvious they’re not really into it. They do it because their Mother wants them to do it. They’re far more interested in being a Dragon Hunter and pillager for the LoF over being part of the Qun.

Hyper-fixations and Special Interests

The very first thing that tipped me off to Taash being Autistic is how they automatically start talking at long lengths about Dragons; the different types, where they live, how they hunt and what they eat.

It reminded me so much of how I talked about World of Warcraft Lore and Characters. How I could recite every sliver of lore, tell when someone didn’t play Vanilla wow just by how they said “Sylvanas WindRunner would never burn the World Tree! They ruined her character.” When I can recount multiple times seeing Forsaken in the Royal Apothecary testing plague concoctions on Horde and Alliance alike. Her resurrecting dead humans into more Forsaken for her armies and plague bombing the city of Gilneas but that’s going way off topic.

Gender Identity

I dislike getting into this discussion because of how uncomfortable it makes me because of my own Gender Dysphoria. I consider myself a Cis Woman? Kinda? Sometimes I want to be seen a cocky asshole to women but a hot bombshell to men. If that makes any sense?

^This Clothing Reference I made for a Bard OC for Baldurs Gate 3 made me experience Gender Dysphoria so bad that I stopped drawing for well over a year. Noting I’m literally shaped like one of those Pomegranate Juice Bottles and nothing like that picture.

While I can relate to Taash’s Gender Identity struggles and finding themselves. It’s not the main thing I relate to (I’m sure you’ve figured out by now.), I’m still struggling with it and I’m not ready to go down that Rabbit Hole myself.

The Emmrich Situation from a Necromancer

This is the make it or break it for if you like Taash or not. When I saw they called him a Skullfucker I laughed it off and moved on. It is out of line to call him that and it is out of line to seemingly refuse to call him Emmrich when he asks.

I cannot imagine hating them to the point of name calling, I’ve seen someone on Reddit Rage Post, calling them a “Narcissistic Spoiled Cunt”.

Taash is Autistic and with Autism comes all the very shitty draw backs of it. Including having issues expressing discomfort until it builds up and explodes out like it did with Emmrich.

I react like Taash, I keep my discomfort to myself until I have a meltdown and it’s not something I can control when it happens. I especially keep silent about my discomfort if it’s involved with a coworker I’m meant to get along with and that every one else also gets along with them. Example: Coworker won’t stop talking about politics, I don’t engage I keep it to myself because I don’t want to start any sort of confrontation. I attempt to avoid and ignore said coworker unless I need to speak with them. Finally they say one political take out of many things towards me and I finally make a complaint to my Boss. Now I’m silently raging to myself on my break about how I’m to mentally and emotionally drained from working this job why can’t they just talk about sports and their kids?

I can tell Taash kept it to herself at first and because of the lack of communication she has she resorts to name calling in hopes he’d stop talking to them. It all comes down to a melting point ends with confrontation and settles into understanding.

The funny thing about this whole interaction is that you start off with Emmrich CONSTANTLY worried about making everyone uncomfortable but when he becomes comfortable in the group he ceases to realize that he’s making Taash uncomfortable.

And don’t act like you would be comfortable talking to someone who constantly talks about dead bodies. Because IRL you wouldn’t. You would think they’re fucking weird. It’s not even just dead bodies. It’s the entire Nevvaran culture around Necromancy.

I work as a CNA, if the first thing I talked about, to complete stranger, is every single step it takes to prepare a dead body. How cold the skin is and how you have to move quickly to reposition them before rigor mortis sets in. The sound of a Death Rattle and the smell of Sulfur coming from a dying persons mouth. Or how an arm despite being totally necrotic (Avascular Necrosis) can still cause immense pain to a living person.

I would be getting looks especially if it was the only part of my job that I talked about and there is more to Emmrichs’ job and life then Necromancy. Example: PLANTS! I’ve never seen his Apothecary hobby mentioned to anyone else besides Rook until you urge them both to find something else to talk about.

That concludes my Tedd Talk, there can be civil discussion about it or none at all. I don’t feel like being judged for my personal life experiences or how I relate heavily to Taash. I kinda just want people to understand Taash the way I do.

[mcsm-confessions]

I personally both love and hate the morally grey situation (at least, I think that's what this is) of how the Witherstorm came to be.

First, you got Ivor who planned to build and summon the Wither at EnderCorn, so it would hopefully expose the Order. However, he scammed the wrong person (really not a smart decision), and ended up getting people involved that made his plans go kaput. "I had a plan. And you interfered."

Second, Petra is the (as TV Tropes calls it) "Unwitting Instigator of Doom" here, and she knows and blames herself for this. "Ivor built the Wither, sure... but he couldn't have done it without that skull I gave him." Although, Ivor probably would've found another way to get a skull had the deal been called off (or simply never came to be).

And lastly, that EVERYONE (community and in-universe) seems to gloss over... Axel. He steals that "elixir" that would supposedly stop the Wither from becoming the Storm. It just makes me wonder though, would the potion have actually worked? "Without the Command Block exposed, the potion is useless! It wasn't supposed to happen like this!" Ivor was clearly confident in his plan, so he must've tested this potion at least once... If not, and it was all just one big gambit, then another not-so smart decision by him. Again, things might've went according to plan if Petra's friends didn't get involved (and Axel didn't take the elixir). But really, it all depends on if the potion would've worked at the moment it was needed.

It's super easy to blame Ivor for this entire thing (rightfully so because yeah that plan was dangerous as hell dude), but there are underlying factors that made it way worse than it should've been.

Not trying to justify Ivor's actions here, just thought the situation was interesting. I love that the writers did this, but I hated how it was barely brought up afterwards.

~~~

[vaguely-concerned]

I’m on a Star Wars books roll so here we go with my — unhinged thanks for asking! — thoughts on Dooku: Jedi Lost, specifically the audio play. Short version: I fucking loved this one! For maximum emotional devastation, pair with Master and Apprentice and Padawan the way my stupid ass did and then be sad about it forever I guess that's what I’m going to have to do.

 Long (LONG oopsie) version:

- So. First of all, let’s get the most important thing out of the way on this here old man yaoi website. We all agree dooku and sifo dyas explored each other’s bodies right. Or at least definitely would have if not for the laws of this order etc., potentially. That’s not just me. Good. Thank you. We can now move on 

- Secondly. Well. Guess I’m just going to be inconsolable about Sifo-Dyas forever now. I miss the days in which he was just a throwaway line in AotC spawned by a random misspelling to me, rather than an eternal raw aching wound in my heart

- poor poor ventress just reading through all the proof that dooku absolutely does have it in him to be a good dad I mean master and just — idk got tired of that and went the force lightning route with her. I love the move of having her dead master hang out with her all that time as well (having her slip up and refer to ‘us’ did something to me, god this is so sad. Is he actually there in spirit or is it just her grief dreaming him up because dooku is awful and cold as a cliff  wall and she needs some kind of attachment figure even if she’ll have to reinvent him herself, rebuild him word for word, gesture by gesture. Pain. sorry about your terrible track record with father figures asajj) 

- Lene: (About Averross): He hasn’t changed. 

Dooku: (In the warmest fondest voice you ever heard) And I hope he never does

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH MYSELF? MUST I SET MYSELF ON FIRE TO ESCAPE THE PAIN???

Another strong showing for Rael in general, btw. He’s so warm and charming as a presence even though he’s also a little chaos gremlin. (He’s quite similar to how Sifo-Dyas was when he was young in some ways, I can definitely start to see what Dooku responds warmly to in terms of character traits.) 

- the fact that good ol’ sheev showed an interest in rael, dooku and anakin… interesting huh! He’s just got a soft spot for the disaster lineage I suppose, maybe there’s an element there of luring yoda’s most direct lineage into the dirt with him without yoda even noticing for the longest time. Also cackling at the idea that he looked at qui-gon ‘too fucking stubborn and insufferable to fall to the dark side out of sheer spite’ jinn and went ‘...not that one tho’ fhdskjfa. And obi-wan is more like ‘that one blorbo all my little guys seem wild about but I just don’t get it guys’ 

IF rael’s refusal to join dooku at the end of ‘master and apprentice’ is the last word (which I am not convinced of ;___; be safe cowboy jedi we never see in mainline canon so far), then he’s the only one who has dodged palpatine’s attentions. Wonderful if true love that for him

ALSO rael is one of the few people we know to be on (or at least to consider himself on despite what palps might think lol) first name basis with palpatine. Hilarious. I concur with dooku never change rael 

- Sifo-Dyas: That’s insane. 

Dooku, deadpan: Yes.

Sifo-Dyas: The worst plan I’ve ever heard.

Dooku, somehow even more deadpan: Most probably. 

Sifo-Dyas: I’m in. 

Crying… weeping and dying………… what if someone could have helped sifo with his unfortunate prophecy propensity and they hadn’t drifted apart. Clone Wars averted methinks if dooku still ended up leaving the order he would have been too busy having tender gay sex with the love of his life (and only person who can call him out on his shit and have him actually listen) to be a war criminal (I am being extremely facetious of course this is very much a ‘time traveler killing baby hitler’ situation where the underlying forces causing this point in history are way too powerful to avert the catastrophe in one move. but at least palps would probably have had to pick someone else to wreck the galaxy through and sifo-dyas would be kissed & held instead of going slowly mad. A net plus some (I, me) would say) 

- I just wanted to applaud both the writing and the voice acting for the characterization of Dooku in this, from his young self trying so hard to be haughty and self-possessed but also being like, y’know, twelve and a dweeb and easy for Sifo-Dyas to pull into trouble, to the dry wit and warmth he shows with Rael and Qui-Gon or his sister later. It took me a little while to get into the voice acting specifically (the actor makes no attempt at going the full Christopher Lee, which in hindsight was probably wise), but now I love it. It gets a bit goofy in places but you know what, I am a long time lover of audio plays, that’s part of the charm 

- “Master, have I done something wrong?”

My heart is clenching… do you think… that master yoda’s deal with leaving his student to try fucking everything to have some kind of relationship with him until he just breaks down in tears of despair… is the kind of thing that maybe started a little bit of a generational trauma cartwheel through the ages. The point that bb!dooku is arrogant isn’t without merit and he strikes out incredibly ungracefully about it (in fact I would be a lot more worried than yoda seems to be that he decides to try to kill a tree about it, ‘I felt like destroying something beautiful’-style)  but I just don’t think a… fourteen year old? A teen anyway, Is going to learn what you think he learns from this. I simply don’t believe that silent treatmenting kids will teach them emotional intelligence I guess especially if they already struggle with that naturally lol 

(It is exactly the same mistake (in my opinion) that Qui-Gon makes with Obi-Wan, too, just leaving the kid completely alone and forcing them to come to you every which way for comfort or guidance instead of meeting them or reaching out to them. Especially once you see that really Dooku’s prime emotion/big core wound right from the beginning is loneliness. And that doesn’t only come from a feeling of superiority (which to be sure is also a big factor), because he has no idea where he comes from until he meets his sister. I don’t think the jedi as a whole were unsalvageable by any stretch of the imagination, but Yoda specifically… you are on such very thin ice with me at this point you little green fuck. You’re very funny and moving in yoda dark rendezvous and that’s all that’s keeping you in my somewhat good graces.)

- Okay, coming back a bit later I think I’ve found the right words to say this. more precisely dooku has two big issues which you can later see haunting all the way down his lineage — loneliness and control. (and not incidentally the intersecting elements of the two haha.) We see from his relationship to sifo-dyas that he’s not incapable of having close mutual relationships with an equal, but that kind of crashed and burned for reasons neither of them could really help and after that it seems quite telling that he has the easiest time with deeper connection in a teacher-student sort of form. I think his affection is unconditional and real, but you can’t get away from the fact that he also has the most control in that relationship structure by default, he gets to dictate what form it takes to a big extent. He doesn’t trust other people — the underlying idea ‘Only I can do this’ that eventually leads him down the Separatist path is there the whole way. It speaks both to a sense of superiority and an utter lack of faith that other people can or will help him. And then that echoes down through the master-padawan line: 

Qui-Gon with his self-righteousness and utter refusal to compromise leaving him isolated among the jedi (only he is right. Yeah the Force told him so. Don’t worry I’ve got a permit *insert parks and rec I can do whatever I want meme here*), Obi-Wan with his anxiety and perfectionism and incredible sense of shame and responsibility that he should be able to carry the whole world on his shoulders alone and beating himself up for failing, all feeding into not knowing what to do with Anakin and his complete lack of control of himself and his desperation to gain and maintain connection and love (which earns him the title of ‘Dooku’s least favorite family member’ fhdsa his immediate disdain for him is so funny and so in character. Repress and go slowly mad like a normal person anakin the way you’re carrying on is just undignified and that is much worse than being evil)… 

- Rael gently telling Dooku to take on another padawan soon… so sweet, so sad, local cowboy jedi looking out for his dad. Also highlights something about Dooku I think is true: that he does much better and seems to have an easier time holding to the light when he’s responsible for someone else. Again, I do feel like Dooku’s core problem is loneliness, but it seems like raising kids is the one point where that relaxes somewhat. Maybe if Sifo-Dyas had stayed in a better mental place and they kept in touch it could have been different.

- Lene Kostana is SUCH a character! Charismatic and deeply fucked up, when it’s revealed how her and Sifo-Dyas’ relationship remains long after his padawan stage is done I felt a little bit sick, to my surprise. Because that could just be kindness on her part, of course, it’s good that he has someone he trusts to look after him when he can’t himself, but also there’s something… queasy about the way it keeps him continually young, in a way. (Notably he still calls her ‘master’ even as an adult, when they’re working together. Not uncommon in Star Wars, of course, but together with everything else going on vibes-wise… hm.) The inherent unreliable narration of this story really worked for me in this regard especially — do we know that young Dooku was entirely wrong when he sensed the dark side in her? She certainly is willing to go to lengths that are… worrying! in her fascination with sith shit, she tempted children into a dangerous place they didn’t understand and couldn’t know the consequences of and she continually puts sifo-dyas in situations that are implied to be a risk to worsening his condition. Run of the mill incredibly irresponsible at best, sincerely sinister at worst. Did she choose Sifo over Dooku because he’s more vulnerable and shapeable? There is an undercurrent of something icky and emotionally incest-y going on with how she relates to Dooku and Sifo-Dyas in general (right down to the ‘NO, no one can know about this’ intensity after the… evil moss cave. I can’t believe I’m this emotional about a book with an evil moss cave). I don’t think she’s a proper sith in any way and I also believe there is real affection there on all sides, but idk something about the whole thing makes me deeply uneasy. Yoda where the fuck are you your son is out there with his irresponsible mom again they’re looking for dirty needles in haystacks and they’re not even wearing any gloves

- dooku telling sifo-dyas he can come back to haunt him if he likes as a joke… well well well I’m sure that doesn’t ring with some dramatic irony at some point down the line lmao

- honestly looking back at master and apprentice after reading jedi lost makes qui-gon's apparent lack of reaction to dooku leaving seem — let's call it highly suspect haha. rael asks him if he's spoken to dooku after and qui-gon is like 'no. why would I. it's literally fine. anyway this topic is done now'. (and rael seems to just go ‘*older brotherly knowing* uh-huh’) meanwhile he's thinking about dooku *all the time* trying to figure out his role as master to obi-wan, thinking about being a padawan himself, the parts of his life he shared with both dooku and rael. The jedi doth protest too much methinks  

ALSO how much of qui-gon thinking the council was too lenient with rael after he had to kill his padawan is about that actual situation, and how much is a ‘our family still likes my older brother more than me even though he Fucked Up so bad and breaks just as many rules as I do’ sort of deal mixed with his own neuroses about how he’s failing obi-wan (to which rael’s situation symbolizes the worst possible outcome, i.e. the kid dies and it’s basically your fault). Many thoughts. 

- moment of silence for jenza of house serenno. Girl your only sin was being surrounded by asshole male family members and I’m so sorry I think you did all you could with what you had to work with here.

Not… entirely sure how dooku’s claim to the title supersedes hers — is he a year older than her? (she’s eleven when they first meet, he might be twelve or older at that point I don’t remember haha) Does she just give up her place in the inheritance order? Are primogeniture and male heir preference factors in Serenno inheritance law? Not the most important thing honestly it works anyway thematically but could have been clarified quickly!

- interesting to see that the council’s restrictive policy against engaging with prophecies had a surprisingly big impact on how things went down. Kostana has a lot of responsibility in Sifo’s fate for insisting he keep it secret, but there is genuine fear for what might become of him if the rest of the order finds out he’s got 24/7 futurevision hovering over him threateningly… listen it’s not like the poor guy can help getting the future constantly pumped into his brain at nightmare resolutions, I think maybe if there had been more willingness to at least engage curiously with the concept of prophecy and how it works, even if you don’t put your faith in the particulars of what the prophecies say, this wouldn’t have had to be such a shitty isolated secretive life for him. hearing him slowly fall apart over the years considering how bright and lovely he started out... oof is all I can say 

- when dooku was a good jedi he was such a good jedi!!! The scene where they’re saving the kids from the collapsing hospital, every time he teaches his students anything…the impulse of someone has to do something about this! that made him so good at saving lives turning dark with the tarnish of frustration and rage over the years… nooooooooo problematic grandpa why did it have to be like this :(

- …do you think infant jedi can sense what’s going on around them in the Force. Because it makes a very sad kind of sense if dooku on some level remembers bodily or in the Force that he was not only abandoned but rejected in disgust as one of the first things he discovered in the world. Oh boy. With all the ways attachment relationships can go wonky in the first few years in real life I don’t even want to consider how much more wrong it can go when the baby is fucking psychic lol

- vaguely related: the way dooku seems to find the very idea of being truly reliant on anyone, emotionally or otherwise, personally offensive, terrifying and humiliating lol. Yoda saves him from being crushed by rubble and he is outraged because that means he can’t save himself (and his newfound sister) without anyone’s help like he thought for one glorious moment he could. The fantasy of perfect emotional self-sufficiency, doing away with all the messiness and risk of interpersonal relationships and cutting off the possibility of really being abandoned again. It’ll get ya every time. This is also a thing you see reflected in his lineage — they’re all quite inward-turning that way until you get to anakin, to different extents and with varying presentations but it is there I think. Qui-Gon turns to the Force, Obi-Wan to perfectionism and shame and rumination, Rael to the bottle and depression and hedonistic apathy, but they all struggle hugely with letting anyone in to help them. Dooku’s line are all much more comfortable being the helpers rather than the helpees, as it were.  

- “Thank you for everything, Lene. Tell Rael and Qui-Gon — tell them… tell them the Force will be with them, always”

Emotional terrorism against me specifically and personally. You asshole you just excused yourself from the non-attachment rules there’s literally nothing in the world except you to stop you from reaching out and telling your children you love them yOURSELF why are you like this

- the recurring theme of dooku seeing something beautiful (the tree in the temple, the tirra’taka as a child and an adult) and ending up lashing out to destroy it… but the tree was old and mighty and he was young and new and couldn’t truly harm it, so he was saved from his own impulsivity. And then when he sees the tirra’taka as an adult he loves it immediately. And in the end he still mangles and destroys it. He didn’t mean to, but he did. He woke it up and hurt it just by existing as a child and then he had to kill it as a mercy because he was too powerful at that point for anything to buffer his mistakes. The parallel with the bird he loved that he also couldn’t protect. He starts out with an aching loneliness somewhere at the core of him through no real fault of his own but by the end it is entirely his own fault that it’s worse, because he starts wrecking everything he loves in an almost absent-minded but definitely intentional way, like it’s a nightmare he’s listening to through the door as it happens in the next room over. He really IS the ‘I just felt like destroying something beautiful’ central of the jedi.

at the end qui-gon is dead and through dooku’s own influence, however indirectly. Rael has had to turn away from him. Sifo-Dyas is dead on Dooku’s own orders and so is his sister, he might as well have done it with his own hands. (though I think it’s very interesting that in each case he didn’t do it with his own hands, he consistently uses a middleman.) He lives within the coldness of his sterile empty castle and horrifically mistreats the one person he might have found something like connection with the way he did with his students before (Ventress), deliberately trapping her in a similar state of utter desolate isolation and telling her, essentially, ‘We’re like this as people and nothing can be done to change it. We can’t escape, we’re already doomed, stop trying, it’s too late. You are just like me (and if you aren't already I'll make you like me)’. And that’s the closest thing he gets to love anymore. When he accused Ky of using her ‘as a salve for his own loneliness’ and you’re like well well well mr projection man how’s that working out for you. He is completely, shatteringly alone and he is so entirely as a consequence of his own actions and he's too far gone to understand or care. I’m howling you useless fucking FOOL dooku  

- dooku 🤝 john gaius

“Hm. I have observed that there are in fact many flaws in our society and the government is deeply corrupt. So if I kill a few billion people here and there in order to fix it, is that not basically okay when you really think about it” 

Dooku making salient points about the political and ethical failures of the Republic and then, just when you think he’s onto something, he goes and makes The wildest fucking decisions about what to do about it. Sure. dark magic and genocide are probably the only ways out of this you’re so right bro. If we make enough minuses to add together surely we’ll end up in plus sooner or later

- *head in my hands once more* I can’t believe I am genuinely emotionally invested in someone called Count Dooku with the looks of a knockoff dracula and ultimate moral character to match right now this is terrible. hey. hey dooks. what you have to go and fuck everything up so bad for huh I’m so incredibly sad now

there is something to be said about how getting to see glimpses of what dooku looked like in the light makes it so much more heartwrenching that he never came back. he could have, a thousand times. and every time he chose not to.

[wayfayrr]

I'm really happy you like my take on people pleasing reader ( ≧∀≦)ノ♡

<3<3<3

Expanding on the reader a little more is that I believe that there would be a lot of conflicting feelings toward the chain.

Like — the reader would eventually develop genuine affection for the chain because they're very charming people. Not to mention near death experiences bring people together. <333

Now, even with their affection, the fear of abandonment would always linger in the back of their mind. The chain is all they have to rely on in this new world. If they're discarded, who else could they turn to? Where else would stay? There isn't a guarantee that they could even return home.

Hyrule would be their potential resting place for the rest of their days. If they even live that long...

The situation — terrifying. Your entire life became shambles in a matter of minutes. And all you could do was hope for the best?

And with the chain, they were never obligated to take in the reader. It was a choice they made. And nothing could prevent these heroes from making a completely different choice.

Regardless, the reader is completely dependent on these men — and the reader is completely aware of this.

No matter how long they've been traveling together or how much they bond with one another, I think their paranoia would always outweigh anything else.

They love these people immensely, but they will never fully trust these people.

And that's something devastating for both sides to deal with.

oh anon the amount of angst you've added to this is just delicious, because you're so right about it all - as much as both sides really do care for each other there's always that underlying whisper of untrust and caution and I love it.

there are so many ways that it could be taken and how the different members would react that makes it such an interesting concept especially if the tables somehow managed to turn somehow because some of them might try to work on that untrust while others might use it to their advantage

[gigigazelleloves]

Breaking Down My Theories on Buck and Eddies (Separate) Arcs

*all my sources are from this article: https://ew.com/911-season-8-preview-exclusive-photos-interview-8704969

(DISCLAIMER: this is just my interpretation and predictions based of this article, this is not officially canon)

Even though Buck and Eddie are best friends (and maybe something more depending on who you ask) they are still separate people with different story lines. However what I see coming this season are their own unique story lines that will mirror each other through the same underlying themes.

Eddie's main theme will deal with him having to deal with a big change in his life as Christopher has decided to live with his grandparents due to his fathers interesting choices (ex. the whole doppelganger situation).

This will leave Eddie with time on his hands to go and do what he would like when he would like, which is a privilege he's never possessed before. His personal life however, will probably turn out equally as disappointing when he turns for Buck's support now that his best friend and good friend are both dating each other. Eddie was originally the one who clicked with Tommy so for him to be a third wheel will probably cause issues. This along with the fact that he might need a lot of emotional support right now from a couple with tight time. Eddie doesn't always handle emotions well, which will probably cause some tension and resentment on his side.

On the other hand, opposite to popular beliefs, I think Eddie will be doing better in the workplace. Even though Captain Gerard is there and Eddie is a minority, I think that Eddie has a chance of thriving the most in this workplace. Out of everyone, I think he could be the most "socially acceptable" in Gerard's eyes. He was part of the military, has the least connections to Gerard out of the 4 mains (Hen and Chim worked under him, Buck interacted with him through Tommy and Chim), and he is a cis-het half-white man (plus with Chris gone, Gerard may not know that Eddie is a single parent to a kid with special needs). I think that Eddie will turn his focus to the workplace more than he's ever done before now he doesn't have to be a parent 24/7.

Buck's main theme will deal with him having to learn how to accept change in his life too. Buck recently just lost access to his father-figure in the workplace while also discovering he was bi in his 30's.

Now that Gerard is in the workplace and Buck is trying to learn how to integrate being bi into his professional life, his work life turning into a mess. Gerard and Buck aren't going to get along as Gerard has already met Buck, and not on the best of terms along (and Buck has heard awful things about Gerard) with the fact that Buck's emotions are tied in very heavily with his actions, especially during the line of duty (which is part of the reason he didn't join the SEAL's). Him and Gerard are going to clash based off those facts alone but now Buck has something else that makes him stand out, the fact that he's openly bi. Gerard may already know that Buck is bi and dating Tommy (due to seeing interactions with him and Tommy) or he will find out, which will add to the top Gerard's list of reasons to hate Buck. Due to this Buck is going to struggle in the work place not just without Bobby but also as minority and might notice Eddie getting better treatment than him/not standing up for him which may cause resentment and tension.

On the other hand Buck's personal life is better than it's ever been, especially with a new addition, Tommy. Their relationship is now official Buck seems to be enjoying the affection, something he's been missing in his love life. Plus Buck can talk and relate to Tommy on a different level due to the fact that Gerard is his captain, which will make their bond stronger. On top of that he can just be "Evan" with Tommy, he doesn't have to be "Buck".

Now going back to the main point, I think there is going to be a breaking point for the two best friends that is going to cause the them to go separate ways for a bit. I think Eddie will reach his breaking point first with the whole Tommy, Buck, Eddie situation and will trigger Buck's breaking point with the whole Gerard,Eddie, Buck situation. This is going to cause them to go separate ways (and hopefully to therapy for Eddie) to work on themselves separately, which is weird cause they tend to work through their issues together when they have one. That is the potential that this arc has though, to change that narrative.

This is where they share that same underlying theme, they have to learn how to become their own people for their relationship (platonic or romantic, however you view it), to become stronger. Eddie needs to become more confident in who he is as a person, friend, and parent without feeling the need to rely on others as much as he does. Meanwhile Buck needs to become confident in the fact that he is still learning who he is both as "Evan" and as "Buck" while also navigating a completely different romantic life.

We'll just have to see what happens starting September 23!

[astroyongie]

Why Am I This Way - Psychology Answers

Note: This is the last part from "How Am I" Section!! hope you guys like it

“How Am I” Section

“Would I Be Happier If I Was Egoist?”

What happens in the unconscious brain: 

A lot of times, the question around being egoistic is seen as a bad character trait because “as in a society, we need to put the other first”

But the reality is, we all need to put our well being as a priority, in order to find a certain comfort and happiness in life. 

We tend to care more for others due to the societal regime we are born in but also because it's a parental responsibility to socialize us (as well as school)

Parents and the educational system will teach children about the duty as a person and “how the world works”, what we have to do to have a good life. Some parents will based themselves in education as being “well mannered” = which often concludes to “shutting up and accepting what is said and done” 

Most of us have learned since we are young that benign good and well mannered will reward us, while being bad and egoistic is going to be punished and casted out. 

Rowe shows in her theories that people who have a “bad” education as putting themselves first have a lower probability of suffering depression compared to people who have been educated through well mannered ways and have been educated as putting others first

Rowe insists that being good is a fundamental belief for depression,

Mostly because those who have been educated as being “good” can sometimes have situations where they have issues with authority or the rules. whenever they are unable to make it right or obtain a certain value, they will consider themselves as failures and thus enhance the feelings of guilt and depression.

the underlying belief of the world as a fair and predictable place corroborates the mistaken belief that good people are rewarded and increases the feeling of inadequacy 

We need to start accepting that the world isn't fair and predictable, and that rules are here to allow us to see past the chaos. However unwritten laws don’t tie you up to necessities and you are allowed to be egoistic when you need to be. 

if you are interested in more of this topics you can check the works of Dorothy Rowe and Melvin Lerner

So what can we do?

As Albert Camus once said, to be happy we should not worry much about others 

The world isn’t fair and no matter what you will do, there will never be a wrong and right answer

You need to liberate yourself from the necessity of pleasing everyone and everything. 

Instead of making events fit into our impoverished pile of possible narratives, throw out rules and allow yourself to be who you are without any attachment 

Find the middle spectrum between pleasing others and being good, and being egoistic and putting yourself first. Take in consideration the environment but never push your body and soul to do something that is breaking you down

You are only sabotaging yourself by doing so

Breaking rules can be easy and can lead you to happiness. Experiment. Eat that cookie. Tell your boss he has been an ass. Tell your friends no. Say yes to life. 

Now, you know where to work to become a better version of yourself 

[blue-jay-13]

This is an addition to this post about my MyStreet rewrite.

Aphmau - Aaron -

Aphmau:

TW: Bullying/Harrasment

- Aphmau Raphaela Sabala

- 5’0

- 25 years old as of season 1 of Mystreet

- Aphmau is very bold and she's proud of who she is.

- Though she still does have some underlying insecurities.

- She’s a major people pleaser and perfectionist.

- She can be a bit naive at times, mostly when it comes to people. She always assumes the best of everyone, even when she shouldn’t. She doesn’t want them to be in a similar situation as she was in.

- She's very passionate, but can get a bit over excited at times.

- Really does her best to not care about what people think of her, but it's always something that's in the back of her mind.

- Basically the personification of the energizer bunny, where does she get all that energy from??

- She cares a lot, it doesn't matter if it's a person, an animal, or a dream, she just cares.

- She loves her friends and her mom so goddam much.

- she can be a bit self centered at times, mostly because she didn't really have to think about others for a while, unfortunately it's a hard throught process to kick. Though she does always feel really bad when she realizes how she was acting.

- Her dad, Zack, left her and her mother when she was around 4 years old.

- His job was considered classified, but they know that he ended up sleeping with his assistant

- Her parents were never married.

- She was always a creative child, often talking to herself and making stories with her toys

- She's always been on the shorter and “chubbier” side. A trait she shares with her mom.

- She was labeled as the “weird” kid by some of her classmates. Mostly because she was interested in things they thought were weird or too childish, like anime , RPGs/MMOs, and ‘My Little Horsies’.

- She never had many friends growing up.

- As she got older, a lot of her classmates began to make fun of her.

- It eventually led to them bullying her because of her body.

- It all came to a head in the middle of her 6th grade year, as she had started to receive notes in her locker. Notes that weren’t very kind.

- She went a month without saying anything, until one day she received a note telling her that she was a ‘waste of space’ and it would be better if she just… well you can probably guess.

- She came home that day sobbing, all the notes in her book bag. When Sylvanna found her and figured out what was going on, she was furious. She went to the school and practically rained hell upon them.

- After that she pulled Aphmau out of school and began homeschooling her.

- For a long time Aphmau was scared to leave the house, scared to interact with people when they could see her. But she still wanted friends. So she turned to RPGs.

- Her username was *~MeowMallow~*

- In July of the summer that would have been before 7th grade, she met and befriended another player whose username was -m00n-

- They originally met while in a dungeon, they kept seeing each other around in the game, often doing dungeons or boss battles at the same time. It got to the point where they friended each other and eventually added each other on Dabord (Their version of Discord).

- They ended up talking a lot, Aph learned that -m00n- was just as lonely as her.

- Aphmau returned to public school at the beginning of her sophomore year of highschool

- She became a lot bolder as she went through high school

- She became confident in her appearance, she made no effort to hide her interest, and she had friends other than -m00n-.

- When she went to collage, she majored in computer science with a concentration in game development

- After graduating, she became a freelance programmer. Most of her work was for websites or Indie games.

- She has been working on writing a book on the side.

Thats the general information I have on Aphmau as of now! Hope you all enjoy!

[mmixcelbleegg]

Fluffy riptide wip part two but it's my crackship jamais melody........wiuldve been my first time writing a romantic relationship

613 words I think? It was. I don't know it's Doppelgilly and Queen

Because something about them being like imitations and also Doppelgilly would be desperate to find a purpose and exploit queen sorta ordeal o don't know what they got going on

He’d been dragged out of a steadily acquainting, yet deprecating void, black ichor spewing from orifices as he hacked and coughed back to life from his place slumped against a wooden wall. It couldn’t have really been his choice — still upsetting obsidian hands instilling back consciousness just as fast as they left, ‘just to make it more interesting’. Didn’t stop a familiar brunette from strongly flinching back, a girlish shout prying into the air before hiding behind the ginger he was exiting the mess hall with. In of which followed an uncomfortable interrogation from the woman — her questions almost rapid paced. Things about the Navy, mostly, but also about his biology and ‘how on Mana was he made’. Not a ton of which Doppelgill could recount answers for. Hell, he just remembered his name, despite it technically not being His. He slinked downstairs shortly after, shutting himself off from a bustling crew to scheme in darkness after the flash bang that came with reflecting light of the sun.

How would he fulfill one of his more blunt goals now? He’s been lead so thoroughly in the dark all of his life, metaphorically or not, and one of the outs he could ever have to relinquishing some amount of burden, he is at a disadvantage from being found out. He could just keep tabs on them — using whatever scrap laid on the creaking underbelly of the Albatross and write well-needed information on these pirates. He’d find a way to relay what he’d learn, their naivety allowing him down there, despite Chip’s underlying uneasiness, he would be able to mingle with them and get them captured as intended. Or something like that. His brain was still a bit foggy after the weeks that passed after his semi-death caused by them.

Eyes threatened to shut with the stimuli of the world yet again under him and the drone of the sea’s gentle crashing filling ears that never truly heard them before. Whatever amount of time passes — his brain refusing to cooperate with senses just now being overwhelmed in its silence — until gentler footfall.

Creaking meticulously. Something. Humming? As it nears slid and shuttering doors. Despite muffled protests from that same silly red-coated captain higher up. And the light of oiled lanterns phased harshly into the storage as its entranced unfurled, the doppelgänger snarling as he scurried himself back against a wall. Kind of a freak noise, to be honest. Even with his fins flared against his head, he couldn’t understand why he was so bothered.

Pointed nylon boots welcomed themselves onto floorboards, scaling up Queen’s ever so formal attire, its elbows wrinkling as she held an iron-decorated tray. The contents less obscured as xey kneeled with grace and their musical voice procured the doppel’s attention.

“Captain! Or, how, la…” Xeir abrupt enthusiasm was quick to fade, a bit of remaining confusion as she sat onto their knees in front of him. The tray’s legs set down along with, a hand prompting it against swaying and its twin cupping its owner’s face, ridden with thought of how to handle this situation.

And endless possibilities flooded from the air of creation they radiated, “Don’t worry about it! I’m just like that guy upstairs —” maybe even better, as he scowled with the mere mention, “— You call me whatever, Queeny! :3”

It could be easier garnering any lost trust in the crew with someone who wasn’t really there for his malice.

But any delve further into that thought was yet again interrupted, the scent of fresh food from the tray unfamiliar to a body that intrinsically covered any entrance for it.

“What’ch you got there?” He forced a wavering smile