#situation and it would have been interesting if not for the underlying like... 'you never know! there IS a big chance that they are sexist

[neon-wool]

Short answer: Buy them yourself or ask your dad, either should be fine. Asking your mum to buy something for your dad’s house sounds more likely to cause drama in an already tense situation.

Long answer: Anon, it sounds like you’ve had a difficult upbringing, and I feel for you. Obviously I don’t know you, so take everything I'm about to write with a big pinch of salt... take anything that resonates and ignore the rest.

It sounds like you’ve formed some pretty intense anxiety around relationships that's affecting your daily life. For most people, buying posters for their room would be a very simple issue that requires almost no thought. They'd never think to ask permission for something they were paying for, and there would be no pressure to open up about liking the tv show in advance, just in case a parent's feelings were hurt. They'd talk about the show if they happened to feel like it, or not, without thinking much of it.

However for you it sounds like there's a strong fear of judgement from your dad if you admit to liking the show, but on the flipside you worry not telling him in advance could somehow hurt him, make him feel betrayed, or undermine your relationship. Most people wouldn't have these worries at all. Has he given you a reason to think he's that judgemental or fragile? Or is it possible you're catastrophising?

Looking at the level of intensity you’re applying to the situation, it seems to me this isn’t really about the tv show or the poster at all. Perhaps the strong emotions are about how you’d like to connect more with your dad and feel closer to him. There may also be some amount of underlying trauma from your upbringing, which sounds like it had some significant issues.

My advice is: be kind to yourself, and try to take the pressure off for now. Your dad is very unlikely to be hurt by you buying a poster. What’s important is finding ways to connect to your loved-ones and feel cared for, and exploring complicated emotions about your childhood. That takes time.

From what you wrote, it sounds like your dad does actually take an interest in your hobbies when you bring them up, and you generally do feel he’s quite supportive. That’s a good thing, and more than some people have with their parents. The main problem you have right now is that he doesn’t approach you first, and he doesn’t open up about himself much either. You also feel he has an outdated view of you and still sees you as a child.

Sometimes it takes active communication to shift your relationships forward in the direction you want them to go. Sometimes parents have their own issues, or just lack social skills, so they may not realise how their words and actions are affecting you. If you think his view of you is stuck in the past, and you want him to see you as who you are now, then you're going to need to have the courage to assert yourself as who you are now.

If talking to him about this show is causing a lot of anxiety I won't push you to do that immediately. But I would suggest you look again at that fear. You said in the past he's been supportive when you talked about your interests, and you know the idea of him thinking the show is too weird/violent is unlikely since he already enjoys that kind of show himself. Putting that together it's hard to see why you're so afraid of mentioning this to him, perhaps this fear is a result of the chronic overthinking you mentioned.

Let's play out the worst-case scenario: you tell him, and he says "oh that's a pretty violent show, it's not for me" or he just doesn't understand why you like it... why is that such a problem? It's ok for him to see that you are an adult with your own taste, which might not always match his. Doesn't sound like there's anything seriously problematic about the show. How would it feel to just sit with the fact that you like it, and he might not like it, and that's ok? Having different taste in tv shows isn't going to mean he stops liking you as a person.

If this whole subject causes you intense stress, and you have anxiety about the relationship being damaged by small things like this, I think that's something you need to take note of, and perhaps get some outside support for.

However if you feel able to, I’d recommend taking a deep breath and just telling him about the show, in a casual way, just for the sake of opening up. It sounds like the odds of him enjoying it too are pretty decent! And if he isn't into it, maybe you could be ok with that. I'd also recommend the idea (when you feel ready) of just telling him, in a positive way, that you enjoy talking to him about your interests, you want to learn more about his interests too, and you’d like to have a good friendship and get to know him more as you become an adult.

Eventually, if you feel closer to him over time, you might feel able to open up about the distance and ‘privacy’ your parents kept in childhood, and how this has affected you. There might be some difficult emotions to process there. Parents have their own baggage, and can be very stuck in their own perspective. If you continue building on the relationship and trust you have with him now, there might be more space for him to reflect on those issues in the future, in a way that would be healing for both of you.

Navigating family relationships can be very complicated. Sometimes you feel someone has hurt you, but it wasn’t intentional, so what do you do with that hurt? Do they even realise they hurt you? Perhaps they do love you and do make an effort, but is that enough? Could they have done more? Will they ever see or acknowledge or make amends for the hurt they caused? Perhaps you wish you could be closer, and perhaps you really wish they would be the one to reach out first, you really wish they would just ‘get it’ and grow of their own accord… but wishing won’t change the situation. Maybe you'll be the one who has to set things in motion and push for growth, even though you didn't cause the situation. Life is messy. Growth is messy. It can be hard to know exactly what you want, or how to achieve it. But there's time, it doesn't all need to happen straight away.

I can’t answer any of these questions, or even know if they're the right questions for you. Finding a healthy balance can be hard. It’s up to each individual to judge their own situation, their own sense of fairness and hurt, and how much effort is worth putting into a relationship. Of course, parents hold the responsibility of forming healthy relationships with their children as they grow up, not the other way round. Sometimes they really fail at that job. Other times it’s a complex mixture of good and bad. Even with genuine effort there are many things which hold people back, people have their own traumas, everyone has their own narrow perspective. You can have sympathy for your parents’ limitations, and be willing to work with them and have patience, but simultaneously accept that you've always deserved to feel loved and safe and supported, and maybe you didn't always get that. The sacrifices and effort shouldn’t all be on your side.

As you become an adult, you have more choices about how you interact with your parents, and more agency in how you handle the relationship. Again, without knowing your situation I can’t say for sure, but just from what you’ve written here… my advice would be to take it slow, and try not to over-analyse every little thing. Don't try to come up with all the answers straight away. Instead, step back and look at the big picture of your upbringing and parental relationships, both the good and the bad.

Maybe start writing a journal about it, just noting down any thoughts that come up and letting yourself vent. A well-hidden private journal is great because it gives you space to try out lots of random thoughts and ideas, and see what actually makes sense. You don’t have to judge what you write, or draw any conclusions. You can write whatever pops into your head, and then ask “is this really what I feel? Does this make sense to me?” Then you can re-read it months later, suddenly see something you didn’t before, and a new piece clicks into place.

Good luck anon, I hope you find a way forward over time, and I hope you enjoy the posters!

This is not a yes/no poll but I don’t know who else to consult.

My parents and I are not close. I'm closer with my dad, but he doesn't know about any of my interests due to the way me and my sister were taught about 'privacy' growing up. I am not close with my mum at all and I only talk to her when I have to.

When me and my sister were growing up, we were not told any of our parents' interests/hobbies, and were always told not to look at what people were doing. I think this is what led us to both be so hidden(?) from our parents, and is why this problem exists in the first place.

My dad doesn’t really buy anything for me, nor does he try to learn about my interests (but he will listen when he does learn about them. He likes that I like stuff, he just doesn’t actively seek that information out). My mum is the one who will buy me things, but it’s gotten to the point where she is just buying me junk for the sake of trying to keep a relationship with me and then holding that fact over my head (I have told her to stop, she hasn’t).

I want to buy a few posters for my favourite show for my bedroom at my dads house (my parents are divorced). I currently do not have a credit/debit card as I lost it a few months ago, however I am going to go get a new one on the 18th of this month, but I would preferably like to place the order before school starts again (for reference, all these options are online orders).

I have a few options on how to acquire the posters, and I’m not sure how to go about it.

Ask my mum to buy them for me.

She will buy me things I don’t want related to this show for the next 10 years, even after I inevitably lose interest in it. She’ll also be extremely upset that I’m putting them up at my dad’s house, and not hers. However I don’t care about her opinion on my interests as much.

Ask my dad to buy them for me.

I do not want to do this one, purely because of the completely irrational fear I have that he’ll think the show is weird, or violent (again, completely irrational. He is the biggest nerd you’ll meet, he’s probably even watched the show before and enjoyed it. It’ll just be awkward and I’m an overthinker). His opinion means a lot to me, and although he’s supportive of me in every sense, I think he still views me as a little kid (I’m 18), hence why I’m worried to tell him about my interests. I do want him to know about my interests in the long term though, and I want to be able to tell him things about me and not be scared about it, but I’m not sure if diving headfirst into this is the right way to go about it (for my own sake).

Wait until the 18th and buy them myself.

This one would be fine, but I’m a little worried that my dad will be confused when they show up for me. He would also have to find out about the posters/my interests in a surprise! Kind of way, which is a little awkward and it might hurt his feelings that he wasn’t asked. This will also be after school starts again, which I would prefer to get them before then. However I think this is the option that’ll give me the least anxiety in the short-term, but probably more as I wait for them to arrive.

I have consulted my sister and she is no help whatsoever.

Thank you for reading this behemoth of an ask, and thank you for any advice you might have (and I understand if this is not submitted to the public as it's not a yes/no question).

[variousqueerthings]

*sighs in post mildly broke containment again* there's nothing wrong with reading willow as a lesbian, this is a piece of fiction, and the post I made took on a jokey tone for a reason and is ultimately more about underlying bi-erasure on tv than anything else kaybye ✌

[leatherbookmark]

gfshgkjsf god but there's a bit of a Discussion in the comments of this ep, and tbh i can understand it because i always skip through most of the "colorist" section because of how wy and mg are acting;;; but even despite my own and other people's discomfort, i feel like it's an interesting case of mismatched dynamics! wy and mg are, imo, taking on the position of slightly annoying little brothers right away, assuming that the employee is on her own turf, she's their seonsaengnim and obviously such stupid ribbing wouldn't get to her. and if she was like a decade older, that's what would've probably happened! but she must have been roughly their age and unsure if it would even be okay for her to hold her ground and apply "yah, kid, please do be quiet and let me do my job", so instead it looks like they're ganging up on her a bit. welp! unfortunately such things happen sometimes

[vroomvro0mferrari]

CL16 | Oblivious

Sorry it took me so long, I was really busy with finals the last couple of weeks but I've finally finished the fic from the poll! I hope you like it :)

Summary: Charles has been blatantly flirting with Y/N for months, but she's the only one who hasn't noticed.

Charles Leclerc x Sainz!Reader

WC: 2.4K

Warnings: None

Masterlist

Charles was busy in the garage, talking with his mechanics when he saw her walk in. Y/N Sainz, the younger sister of his friend and teammate. He had seen her many, many times when she came to support her brother at his races. It seemed like Charles could sense her presence, knowing she was there without having seen or heard her, always looking up right when she walked in. Y/N Sainz was greatly loved by the Ferrari employees. With her bubbly personality, witty jokes, and bright smiles, all the team members enjoyed her presence. And Charles couldn’t help but feel the same way, although Y/N was completely oblivious to his affection. 

His face lit up when their eyes met, instantly smiling at her company. As soon as she was close enough, he greeted her, “Ah Y/N! Nice to see you again, you look lovely today!” He grinned.

“Oh, thank you, Charles. You’re so kind!” She responded with a bright smile as she hugged him in greeting, the flirty undertone going by entirely unnoticed.

Charles had been enamoured with Y/N since the first time they met. In an effort to not come off too strong and scare her away, Charles tried to flirt with her subtly. However, after several occurrences without any reaction from Y/N, it seemed his flirting was too subtle. Either that or she was not into him. But he couldn’t give into that possibility just yet.

As time passed and Y/N became a more familiar face in the paddock, Charles’s flirtations became bolder. He’d constantly try to include her in conversations and would make up all kinds of excuses just to talk to her. Whenever he did manage to string her into another conversation, he’d try to make her laugh as much as he could. Simply because he could, and because he loved to see her happy and smiling. And if he was feeling really confident, he would even go as far as to touch her arm or the small of her back while they were chatting away or walking around the paddock together. Nevertheless, to Charles's frustration, Y/N didn’t seem to notice his underlying motives, dismissing his actions and words as nothing more than friendly gestures.

Meanwhile, everyone else who had ever been around the duo seemed to have caught sight of the one-sided infatuation and attempt at courtship. Everybody except for Y/N had noticed Charles was desperately trying to make his feelings for the girl obvious, but she simply kept friend-zoning him. Frankly, he found it embarrassing. 

Nearly all of Charles’s fellow drivers had been caught up in one of his attempts to woo Y/N while she simply brushed his compliments off as friendly comments. It was hard not to notice Charles’s fruitless flirting when he did it right in front of them, but they didn’t say anything about it. His colleagues merely exchanged knowing glances with others aware of the situation, amused at Charles’s futile attempts at winning Y/N over. But as time wore on, and Charles kept trying, at least a few of his colleagues started to comment on his persistence, calling him a simp, and joking about his poor flirting. Some suggested he should stop his pursuit of Y/N, as it seemed she wasn’t interested, but Charles was relentless: he would not quit until he knew for sure Y/N Sainz didn’t and would never like him.

And so, when Charles spotted Y/N walking through the paddock with Lando, one of the people in the paddock she got along with better, talking animatedly and laughing loudly with each other, he approached her once more; he would seize any opportunity to blatantly flirt with Y/N. He quickly caught up with the two, putting his hand on the small of her back as he matched his speed with theirs. “You’re absolutely radiant today, chérie” He greeted her with a cheeky grin.  

Y/N looked to her side, greeting the new presence “Hey, Charles!” As oblivious as always, she sweetly smiled up at him and replied, “Thanks! You’re such a sweet friend!”

Lando was a mere bystander in the situation as he observed the interaction, surprised and amused at the ease with which Y/N once again waved off the man who was so clearly crushing on her. He held his opinions back until Charles left, “Wow, you certainly have no trouble friend-zoning him, don’t you?” He commented.

Y/N cocked her head as she looked at him, her brows furrowed. “What do you mean?”

Lando laughed humourlessly, “Dear God, you really have no idea?” He paused, “Y/N, Charles has been flirting non-stop with you for ages. How on earth have you not noticed?”

She stopped walking and looked at him in confusion, “He’s not flirting with me, Lando, he’s just being nice. He’s a good friend.” 

“I’m actually quite sure he’s flirting with you, Y/N. So is everyone else. You could literally ask any of the drivers, and they would confirm it. The Ferrari employees too, I reckon. He likes you, Y/N.” He said unimpressed.

“Charles likes me?” She asked softly, suddenly turning shy, a blush creeping onto her face.

Lando sighed, realising his friend was even more oblivious than he initially thought. “Yeah, he does. I’m honestly surprised you’ve never noticed.” He gently squeezed her shoulder before they parted ways.

— — —

For the rest of the day, Y/N thought about Lando’s words. She thought about all her interactions with Charles over the last few months and realised that he did compliment her quite often. 

Once, on a sunny afternoon, Y/N was chatting with some of the Ferrari team members near the garage when Charles spotted her. He, as always, decided to walk over to talk with her, his usual charming smile on his face and mischief in his eyes.

"Y/N, only you can make a sunny day even brighter," he said with a big, playful smile and admiration in his voice.

Y/N blinked at him, surprised by his sudden appearance and his bold statement. "Oh, thank you, Charles! That's really sweet of you to say."

Unfazed by her obliviousness, Charles pressed on, determined to make his feelings known after such a long time. "No, really," he insisted, his gaze unwavering. "I mean it. You bring a brightness to the paddock that I can't quite explain."

Y/N laughed softly, “Well, um, thank you. That’s very kind. What can I say? I try my best.” She replied with a smile.

Another time, Y/N was in the team hospitality when she accidentally spilt her drink, leaving an obvious stain on her white shirt. Charles, who was, unsurprisingly, standing nearby (as always), had noticed immediately and courteously offered one of his extra Ferrari shirts. When he saw the girl he had liked for months in his clothes, wearing his driver’s number, he naturally couldn’t resist the urge to flirt with Y/N.

"Have I ever told you how stunning you look in red?" he remarked, his eyes sparkling with mischief and fondness at the sight of her.

Y/N laughed and replied, "No, I don't think you have," smiling at him in a friendly manner.

"Well, consider it said," he said, his tone playful. "You wear it better than anyone else, that's for sure."

Y/N laughed softly, appreciating her friend’s words, "I doubt that’s true, but thanks, Charles."

Thinking back to these moments, Y/N realised maybe Charles had indeed been flirting with her. However, he might just be like that with all of his friends, complimenting everyone he cares about. Nevertheless, now that Lando had brought this to her attention, she would surely pay extra attention to what Charles would say to her tomorrow.

— — —

The next day, Charles had caught her in a conversation again. They were talking about the race and the current situation with Ferrari. He mentioned the pressure from the team and all the fans that want him to do well, and that the car and the strategies aren’t working the way he wants them to. Of course, Y/N tried to reassure him; to relieve the pressure and stress Charles was feeling. He absolutely adored the way she was trying to comfort him and was not afraid to let her know, “I have to admit, Y/N, nobody can cheer me up like you can. You calm my nerves like no one else,” he said, looking at her lovingly while he expressed his feelings.

Y/N didn’t know how to respond. This was the first time she noticed he was flirting with her whilst he was actually doing it, and she had no idea how to react. When she felt her face heat up, she could only assume she was blushing from the nerves. She diverted her gaze, trying to come up with a good reply to Charles’s advances. How did she usually respond when Charles complimented her? She couldn’t remember now.

Charles was confused at Y/N’s lack of response to his remark. Normally, she’d immediately smile at him and thank him for whatever compliment he’d come up with, but now, she was looking away, and - was he seeing that right? Was she blushing? He had flirted with her countless times, but she had never blushed at any of his comments. Had she finally noticed his advances? Charles watched her with an amused smile while she searched for the right words.

Eventually, she shyly smiled at him, meeting his eyes in a fleeting glance before responding, “I’m glad to be of help.”

Charles, Charles, proud that he was the one to cause her flustered appearance, decided to push a little further, curious to see what would happen, “You really have no idea how much you mean to me, Y/N. Your support helps me so much.” Charles smiled gently and put his hand on her arm. When there’s no immediate response, he continues, “Anyway, I have to get ready for the race. I’ll see you later, yeah?” Y/N merely nodded and watched him walk away.

Her brother had been watching the interaction from a distance, observing the way his sister responded to Charles’s obvious flirting and, too, noticing the difference. “You finally figured it out, huh?” He said with a teasing smile. Y/N rolled her eyes at him in annoyance, but Carlos just continued, “You should let him know you like him too.” Y/N didn’t respond. “You do like him don’t you?” He asks, confused at her unresponsiveness. “Leave me alone, Carlos!” She replied, pushing her brother away. He laughed at her; that reaction was enough for him to know the answer to his question. He ruffled her hair and walked away, also needing to get ready for the race.

After her short talk with Charles, Y/N was sure that he liked her, but how to proceed? She could barely focus on the cars going around the track while all types of ideas were racing around in her head. What on earth was she supposed to do now? Should she wait until the next time Charles would flirt with her, or should she make the move instead? Considering Carlos’s advice, she decided she should take matters into her own hands.

She walked up to Charles as soon as she saw him entering the garage after the race. She had always thought Charles was incredibly attractive – like most women, but he looked especially handsome after he had raced.

“Hey, good job on the race!” She greeted Charles, pulling him into a hug. She looked at him for a second or two, contemplating whether she should actually do this. She smiled up at him shyly, “You know, I love the way your hair looks after a race.” She said blushing, running one of her hands through his messy hair. Charles is surprised at her comment, but he’s shocked at her hand in his hair. This is the first time she has complimented him – or at least, initiated it. Let alone, her touching him in such an intimate way. His eyes were wide and his mouth was slightly agape as he stared at her in disbelief. It was now Charles’s turn to be flustered as Y/N finally reciprocated his attempts at flirting.

In his silence, Y/N decided to continue, “It’s hot.” She said, avoiding eye contact. Charles was unsure how to respond. He had never experienced a situation like this before; he always knew exactly what to say, but she had caught him off guard. After Y/N had friend-zoned him countless times, he was definitely not expecting this; he was not sure what to do.

The absence of a reply only made Y/N more nervous. She distanced herself from him, letting her hand fall from his hair, realising she probably shouldn’t have touched him without permission. Charles was quick to notice her retreat and held her face to stop her from leaving. He raised her chin to make their eyes meet and asked her softly, “Let me take you to dinner?” while he stared at her with adoration.

Y/N smiled at him fondly and nodded her head, “I’d like that, Charles. I’d really like that.” 

“Good,” He said firmly, his smile growing wider, matching hers. “I have to leave now for the debrief, but I’ll text you, okay?” 

Y/N nodded her head in response, letting out a hum. Charles pulled her face closer with the hand on her cheek, and fleetingly kissed her forehead before leaving, looking over his shoulder to catch her gaze one last time.

Y/N stood still in shock for a while, processing what just happened. She had agreed to go on a date with Charles. She was staring outside, letting the situation sink in as she watched people pass by in the busy paddock. Suddenly, she spotted Lando waving wildly at her, trying to get her attention. When he realised that she had seen him, he smiled mischievously and gave her a thumbs-up, assuming the kiss he saw Charles give her was a good sign. Y/N rolled her eyes at him, annoyed by his nosiness, but Lando just laughed, amused at her bother and glad his meddling had helped.

[official-cvntified-gay]

Attention (Regina George x Reader)

Summary: Regina is used to having the students basically worship her, but not the teacher. She tries to get the teacher's attention.

𝘱.𝘴: 𝘙𝘦𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘢 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 ��𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘪𝘤

・❥・ 𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙩 𝙩𝙬𝙤 𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙧𝙚𝙚

﹒⪩⪨﹒

"Yes, Ms. George?" I utter with no interest but with enough politeness, as I did to any of my students. I keep my eyes on her as she speaks, listening to every word that comes out of her mouth.

"Thank you Ms. George that was a very good perspective." I nodded at her in acknowledgment. The blonde smirked at me but before she could say something else in front of the class. I cut her " alright, moving on. "Yes, Ms. Jones? Anything else you'd like to add?"

Regina squinted her eyes as her gaze trailed on the young professor, not liking how easily she diverted her attention away from her. Regina never verbally demanded attention, it has always been given to her without her asking for it.

How dare you not give it to her.

She watched you with careful eyes as you entertained another student. She can't help but want you to keep your attention on her. How dare you waltz in with your overwhelming presence that had her squirming in her seat.

Those words did wonders to her mind when all you teach about is history. She craves your attention.

So she always tries to find things to keep it on her.

"Ms. L/n can you help me with this?" She asked, her voice laced with nothing but sweetness but there's an underlying naughtiness deep within it.

Is it because she wore a revealing top that day and it would require you to look down on her?

"You can come here if you need me to help you with something..." You said calmly words treading slowly, wiggling your pen on your fingers as you looked straight into her. She smiled, trying to provoke you but smirked when something crossed her mind.

Her steps echoed across the quiet room as her focus was to get in front of your desk. You lean back on your seat, hands moving on your spread legs. Her eyes took a glance at your arms. Taking note of your rolled-up sleeves and the pen between your fingers.

"Here, miss..." putting her hands on each side of your desk, and that required her to lean forward closer to you. Your gaze is unwavering as you look up at her before slowly looking down at the paper on her desk.

"Seems like you don't need help, Ms. George. Your work is correct" I spoke, letting the words out slowly. I raise my head to look up at her. Not flinching at the short distance between us. I stare into her eyes that's fixated on my lips as I speak.

"Ms. George?" My tone raising a bit at her last name, I raise my eyebrow at her. She didn't even look fazed when I caught her looking at my lips. Instead, she simply smiled at me.

"I know..." she tilted her head a bit to the side, her lips pursing lightly. I cross my arms in front of me, still not moving away from her.

"Hmm?" I questioned, and she gave me a smirk. "I said, I know. I just wanna see you this close," she said proudly. "Huh..." I smirked at her words, I scanned her face for any hint of mischief.

"sit down, Ms. George." I squinted my eyes quickly before motioning with my head for her to take her seat. She bit her lips lightly before obeying me.

"Remember class, come here if you need me to help you with something" I shook my head slightly before I continued reading my book. Not even glancing at the blonde.

'I did need help with something, but it would need to be handled in private' Regina blushed at her thoughts. She wondered if she would talk to Karen and Gretchen about this little crush of hers.

Deciding that she needs to keep these feelings to herself, Regina doesn't know what to do. She's not used to this type of situation. Where someone she's interested in won't even converse with her casually.

Regina's infatuation blossomed, she started going to class early just because she knew that you would be there preparing for your class. She made sure to greet you every time. And every time she gets

"Good morning, Ms. George. Take your seat." So she had no choice but to take her seat, even if she wanted to approach you. You made it very clear that you want to be strictly professional.

But Regina doesn't beat around the bush, she respects you. But that doesn't mean that she won't do anything to satisfy her feelings.

"Need any help, Ms. L/n?" She would always ask, and most of the time you politely decline her offer but when you don't. She makes the most out of it.

"Cool, what do you need me for?" She makes her way to you, making sure to stand close to you.

"I need you to arrange this for me please." You said, handing her a pile of paper. Regina would normally complain about this, but if it's you. Who is she to deny?

"Sure, anything for you." You stared at her when she said that but she just gave you a shrug and a smile before working to arrange the work you gave her.

"You're something, Regina..." Her hand stopped, and her breath got caught for a second. Before it was processed you called her by her name.

"I know... what are you gonna do about it then?" She challenged, leaning closer to you.

"Hmm, I don't know," I said, my voice getting lower. I place her hair behind her ears, my fingers on her chin tilting her head to look at me, "maybe you should do something about it"

Well Regina thought wrong, or maybe you're not being clear?

Realizing your actions, you slowly remove your hand from her but not before finally admiring her. If it weren't for the circumstances you had right now. You'd probably ask her out, but she doesn't need to know that.

"Thank you for your help, Ms. George. You can take your seat now." You turn your back on her, not even looking to see her reaction.

That made Regina confused, she thought she was finally getting something and it turned back down to zero. She groaned quietly in her seat, observing how you casually went back to your work like you didn't do anything to her.

One thing's for sure, she wouldn't stop until she got what she wanted.

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

(𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙤𝙛𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙)

Decided to cut this cause I had to release this for me to continue writing stories again😭 let me know if you want a part 2. And if you have any requests, feel free<3

[calicoheartz]

Oh oh anddd...

Cait x wbbp!reader. Caitlin confesses to reader after their homecoming game because Caitlin realized that she doesn't want to hide her feelings anymore and possibly lose the love of her life.👀

-🦢

Hoco Hearts ; Caitlin Clark

꣑୧ — summary | you and caitlin had been best friends since middle school , what happens when she decides to make you hers on the eve of your homecoming game? 💌

wc ; 805

— warnings | lots of romantic / sexual tension , a bit suggestive , mainly fluff (high- school au)

my master list ㇀♡

a/n : ugh ily anon. YOUVE BEEN KEEPING ME FEDDD W UR REQS! also sorryyyy its low-key kind of short :( Enjoy besties ◡̈

Caitlin stood beneath the glowing lights of the basketball court, the scent of popcorn and excitement lingering in the air, as the sound of excited highschoolers filled her ears. It was homecoming night, a night pulsating with anticipation and celebration, as everyone gathered to experience the last basketball game of their senior year. But amidst the anticipation and excitement radiating both on and off the court, Cait’s mind was a whirlwind of emotions.

Her eyes glanced across the eyes before locking them onto a familiar and distinctive figure. You were a dedicated member of the girls basketball team at Dowling Catholic highschool, and had been playing varsity since your freshman year. 

You were always there, capturing every moment of the games with unwavering passion, and Caitlin couldn’t help but feel a flutter of nerves in her stomach everytime their eyes met.

Your history with Caitlin goes all the way back to middle school, with you two quickly developing and forming a strong bond, especially with your common interests such as basketball among other things. It was undeniable that you two had underlying romantic feelings for eachother, but the two of you never knew when the right moment was to bring these newfound feelings to light. 

There had been a number of situations where you two had almost shared a kiss, whether it was behind the bleachers after an intensive game,  or possibly alone in the bathroom at a halloween party; regardless, it was very obvious that the two of you were just more than friends.

But Cait was your best friend, she had been there for you when you got your first boyfriend, received your first heartbreak, and all the hallway crushes you had acquired over the years. And it pained her that you weren’t getting the hints she was giving you, the way she glanced at your lips constantly, or occasionally rubbing the inside of your thigh when around your friends, it was torture. 

You knew Caitlin liked girls, she knew that you liked girls, so why weren't the puzzle pieces naturally falling into place? 

That's why when their last homecoming game approached, Caitlin knew that this would be her last chance to confess her feelings before it was too late.

The game was intense, with both teams giving it their all. Caitlin played her heart out, her mind consumed with thoughts of you. Every time she made a play, she hoped you were watching, hoped you could see how much she cared, not just about basketball, but about you.

As the final buzzer sounded and the crowd erupted in cheers, Caitlin felt a mix of emotions. On one hand, she was thrilled that they had won, but on the other, she knew that the moment of truth was fast approaching. She had to tell you how she felt.

After the game, as the team celebrated their victory, Caitlin pulled you aside, her heart pounding in her chest. She took a deep breath, gathering her courage, and looked into your eyes.

"Hey, can we talk?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

You nodded, concern etched on your face. Caitlin led you to a quiet corner of the gym, away from the jubilant crowd.

"I... I have something I need to tell you," Caitlin began, her voice trembling slightly. "I've been keeping this to myself for so long, but I can't hide it anymore. I... I love you, Y/N. More than anything."

You stared at Caitlin, stunned into silence. You had never expected this confession, never even considered that Caitlin might feel the same way you did. Your heart soared with hope, but you needed to be sure.

"Do you mean that, Caitlin?" you asked, searching her eyes for any sign of doubt.

Caitlin took your hands in hers, her gaze unwavering. "I do. I love you, Y/N, and I don't want to hide it anymore. I want to be with you, if you'll have me."

Tears welled up in your eyes as you realized that your feelings were reciprocated, that the person you loved felt the same way. Without hesitation, you threw your arms around Caitlin, pulling her into a tight embrace.

"I love you too, Caitlin," you whispered, your voice filled with emotion. "I've loved you for so long, I just never thought you could feel the same way."

"I've loved you since I was 14.." the brunette whispered back.

Caitlin held you close, her heart overflowing with happiness. She had taken a chance, laid her heart on the line, and it had paid off in the best possible way. She was with the person she loved, and nothing else mattered.

As you both stood there, lost in each other's arms, surrounded by the sounds of celebration, Caitlin knew that this was just the beginning of your love story. And she couldn't wait to see where it would take you.

ahhhhhhh omg wait I rlly wanna write more cc/pb high school au fics !!!! as always, thank you guys so much for reading <3

[evvyyypeters-fics]

“You fucked me so good that I almost said, “I love you”

Sugar Daddy!James Patrick March x Coquette!f!reader

Warnings! Smut, p n v, f!ngering, eensy bit of n!pple play/ breast worship, praise, porn w plot, angst bc I can’t help myself

This might be my longest fic yet

Reupload of the request by @jazz-berry

“James!” I squealed, holding the necklace up to my neck, letting the charm rest over my exposed collarbones. The pink diamond in the charm, a Vivienne Westwood staple, matched the off shoulder sweater I was wearing.

My eyes flicked away from the necklace and to the proud, beaming smile on James’s face.

“I’m guessing I did well,” He purrs, biting at the of his cigarette holder between his beaming perfect white smile, flashy against his pale skin and dark slicked hair and light mustache.

“Oh, it’s wonderful. Just perfect.” I sighed in a lovely tone.The sound made him visibly perk up, like he was puffing his chest proudly.

“How did you even get something like this in the hotel?” I asked, baffled. I knew James was a ghost, I knew it from the moment I met him. It wasn’t clairvoyance, there was just something about him that was just strange and different even in the strange and weird Cortez Hotel that made me the least bit surprised when he revealed to me that he was in fact, dead and had been for many decades.

We were drawn to each other, like a moth to flame. Where I was the glowing sun in his dark world, and he was the moth that was drawn to the burn, having never seen the sun for so long that he craved the light and sought it out. And now that he had it, he wouldn’t let it go. Not if he had any say in the matter. Even though my relationship with James was…different, to say the least, it could only seem stranger to anyone looking in as James and I were more professional than the average couple.

A few months earlier…

“If you’re interested in what I have to offer, then all you have to do…” He says in his thick, romantic voice, holding out a small feathered pen to me and tapping his finger on a thin line at the bottom of a document. “..is sign here.” He purrs, sneering cheekily at me.

I blinked a few times at him and then glanced down at his finger on the paper, still in a bit of shock and wonder. I had any natural reaction to what was going on, a ghost had just offered to practically be my sugar daddy. Well, he called it a “mutually beneficial relationship” without the commitment of a relationship. Which would have made us friends with benefits, if it weren’t for the fact that he had a slew of rules and a contract for me to follow, along with the underlying fact that he’d be paying me. Not in a cheap hooker sort of way, but in the very obvious sugar baby sort of way. I guessed calling it a sugar daddy/ baby relationship was too vulgar for him.

“What’s the catch?” I ask, glancing back up from the paper to him, my brow furrowing a bit as I tried to determine his game.

“What do you mean ‘what’s the catch’?” He smiles, practically gritting his teeth as if he’s trying to hide the fact that he was offended by the question.

“I mean, do I have to have sex with you or something?” I ask, my voice pitching inquisitively, almost accusatory.

“I don’t think of you as a hooker, darling.” He purrs, biting the end of his cigarette holder in that charming way he does, and I feel my stomach stir a bit. It was the most bare minimum thing to have ever been said to me, and yet, in the context of my situation and the way his voice trilled, it left me on the brink of floundering.

“Then what do you want from me?” I ask, my accusatory tone silencing as I soften my energy, feeling myself physically relax in my chair a little. I was curious what a man like him would want from a young 24 year old girl like me other than sex, I had my fair share of run-ins with older men, and had never heard of one who didn’t want me just for my body.

“What I want from you, darling, is to keep me company. It’s not just being dead that makes me feel cold.” His tone was unreadable as he paced behind my chair a little as he spoke, taking a quick puff of the cigarette attached to the holder and slowly blowing out the smoke.

He stops pacing and ends up back in the chair turned towards me, he takes another quick drag from the attachment and blows out of the smoke as I bat my eyelashes in awe at him, still feeling slightly overwhelmed by what was happening.

“All I ask of you is your time. Your smile, your face, your presence.” He says it like a poem, a sonnet he created, and only for me. It made my heart swell and I could feel the slight rush as it beats a bit faster for a moment, and I wonder if being dead makes it so that you can hear the heartbeats of others better when you don’t have one yourself. I hoped not, as mine had begun to pick up speed with his words, praying that the rush hadn’t made its way to the apples of my cheeks.

I nodded, not saying anything else in hopes of preventing myself even more shy embarrassment, holding out my palm for him to hand me the feather pen. I quickly squiggle my signature on the contract, and soon as I put the pen back down, he whisks it away faster than I can blink and rolls it into his possession. A giant smile now beams his face as he holds out his hand for me to take, and I hesitantly rest my fingers on his palm as he lifts me up from the chair.

“Wonderful.” He purrs, a pearly smirk on his face as I lift my head to meet his eyes.

Present day…

“I have my ways darling. You’re not the only living person I know.” He says, taking my hands in his as we begin to sway without music, he dances me slowly around the room as we talk. Something he likes to do quite often, so I’ve gotten used to finding a rhythm without music anymore. It was like we were dancing to the beat of my heart, and not the rhythmic tune of a song.

“Besides, I’m not aware if you’ve heard of this thing called the age of the internet..” He whispers in my ear, teasing me with his sarcastic wit. For a man who still dressed like it was the 1920’s, he had quite the wit and information of the modern times outside of him. I assumed that Liz must have been feeding him this information, they spend lots of time at the bar together now.

“Aah, I see.” I nod, unsure how to respond, being tongue-tied by his words.

“You look absolutely ravishing by the way, darling. How ever did a girl like you wind up here of all places?” He purrs as he continues to slowly sway with me, his hand clasped tightly with mine as he leans down and kisses my collarbone and shoulder.

“I find I’ve been asking myself the same question.” I smiled lightly, giggling a little at the feeling of his lips. But truly, I was now numb to the idea of living in the hotel with James and the other ghosts and guests. I had no family outside the hotel, so there was nothing holding me, but I still sometimes wondered what my life would have been like if I hadn’t decided to stay. Probably no better than it is now, out there I wouldn’t have James and the others to take care of me. Specifically, I wouldn’t have James. And after being with him for so long now, I’ve realized that I couldn’t imagine living without him any more.

He pulls back and looks into my eyes with a slightly worried and confused furrow, as if sensing the tension backed in my words.

“Are you unhappy here?” He asks, and for once there was no offense in his voice. It was if he truly feared that I was unhappy with my current situation, and that he was holding me back.

“No, it’s not that. I just…sometimes I just wonder what might have happened if I didn’t decide to stay here. To stay with you.” I stuttered a bit, stumbling over my words as I tried to quickly mend what I had begun to crack before it broke. My eyes darted nervously as I was put on the spot.

He continued to have this saddened furrow on his face that tugged at my heart strings. James promised that we wouldn’t let our feelings get involved in the relationship, as I had asked him I didn’t want there to be any obligation of attachment. And yet here we were, both hanging onto each other like we couldn’t let the other go. We wouldn’t. It seemed my plan to keep myself from falling in love with a ghost had failed, and I lost all hope of escape. In myself, and in this situation. Whatever it was.

“There is nothing out there for you, darling. There wasn’t then and there isn’t now.” He begins, his voice soft and warm, like a soft and comforting blanket. “You’re right where you belong.”

“But if that means you don’t want it to be with me, then so be it. You have every right to remove yourself from this agreement, it’s in the contract you signed.” I looked up at James, feeling the heartbreak squeezing at me. I just wanted to shake him and tell him I love him, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. But I kept my composure and shook my head.

“James…” I sigh, unsure of what to say. He always found a way to get my thoughts caught up.

“Don’t think that means I won’t put up a fight though…” He mutters against my skin as he begins to place soft kisses against my neck, having stopped our slow dancing and snaked his hands around the small of my back.

“I’ll keep you here as long as I can, no matter the cost…” He begins to get more possessive with his words and actions, nipping at my earlobe and trailing kisses up and down along my collarbone, neck and face. His lips danced over mine and ended up on my cheek, letting them ghost over and leaving a small shiver to run up my spine as I felt the silent brush of him over the plush skin.

I felt a whimper choke silently, getting caught in my throat as his fingers dip under the hem of my baby pink sweater. He continues to place deep and soft kisses along my warm skin, slowly pulling me closer and closer against him as if he was trying to melt our bodies together so I was unable to ever leave his side.

“James..” I whimper softly, the words being pushed from my mouth in a pathetic melody. He finally pulls his lips from my neck and looks into my eyes with those deep, sparkling pits. So empty, yet somehow so full of love and longing. We stare at each other for a moment, still flush against one another as our breathing begins to sync. The air feels tense and palpable as we wait for the other to make the next move. We both knew what was coming, it was just a game of waiting how long it would take for the other to cave.

Little to my surprise, Jame’s hand brushes the side of my face and latches around my ear, combing into my silk hair before he quickly rushes forward and snatches my lips into his, pressing a long and deep kiss into me. My eyes flutter shut and I lean back into him, my hands snaking up his suit-clad arms and around his neck. He hums at the feeling as I pull him in closer with my hands, clutching myself onto him as he swipes his tongue on my bottom lip. Pleading for entrance, and I’m so desperate myself that I let him in, and he instantly wraps his tongue with mine. And so the battle begins, and we both fight for dominance over the other as we slowly walk back to the silk sheeted bed that had been looming behind us, the backs of my knees pressing into the mattress before tripping me over backwards. I land and bounce a bit on my back, gasping into the kiss a bit as his body cages me down onto it, continuing to bite at my lip before licking the roof of my mouth and locking his tongue back with mine.

I raise my legs from the ground and wrap myself around his waist to fold into a more comfortable position, using them to pull him closer into me and finally feeling the tent in his suit as it grinds against my lace panties from underneath the white skirt I was wearing. That was now splayed higher up my waist, pooling at my sides against the mattress. He groans as I push him in, forcing his hips to roll at the growing stain pooling into the pink rose colored fabric. He pulls away from the kiss for a moment to drag me higher onto the bed, climbing up onto it with me before he begins to tug at the edge of the sweater I was wearing, lifting it up to throw it over my head.

I help him pull it off, grabbing the end of the sweater and swiping it effortlessly off my body and onto the floor behind me. He gives me a pleased grin before diving back into the kiss, my torso raised from the bed a bit and I placed my hands at the side of his face, tangling through his slick hair and messing up the classy style. I smile against his lips for a moment and he eagerly tries to push himself back in between my teeth, my smile settling as I let him deepen the kiss. The room begins to be filled with pants, soft moans and the sound of our mouths latching as time goes on. The sweet smell of pre-sex filling the air and mixing with the musty and dingy smell of the hotel that I had luckily grown used to by now.

His lips begin to falter, traveling back down my collarbone as he kisses the middle of my cleavage, his eyes flashing up to meet mine as his fingers hook under the straps of my bra and let them fall, his hands then sneaking behind my back and flicking open the clasp. He moves further away for a moment to take the straps of the bra again and slide them down my arms as I raise them up, throwing it to the side before latching his mouth onto one of the perking rosebud nipples now exposed. Cupping the other breast in his large hand and gently twisting the standing pink bud, my hands comb their way back into his hair, holding his head between them as small moans fell from my lips.

The heat growing in my abdomen and the burn of my core became unbearable at this point. My panties practically leaking onto the bed from my drooling cunt, hungry and greedy for more. A feeling I had never had with anyone else before.

“James…” A new pathetic whine, it was starting to seem like the only word I could say anymore was his name. A mantra. Which I knew would probably make James happy if that were true. He lifts his head a bit, his gaze meeting mine as he curiously listens to what I was trying to say. “Touch me…please.” I beg shyly, my face burned and I was sure it had reached a new shade of pink.

The cheeky bastard detached his lips from my nipple and flashed a devilish grin as he lifts up to meet my face again and presses a tender kiss to my cheek.

“Is my sweet girl feeling impatient?” He purrs in my ear and I struggle to swallow for a moment, the words ringing in my ear. Sweet girl. I shivered. “I suppose I could give you another treat, just because you’ve been such a good girl this week,” He purrs again in my ear, knowing it made me tremble even more. There were those sweet words again: good girl.

Slipping his fingers under the waistband of my panties, he collects the arousal pooling from my cunt, gasping slightly in my ear as he keeps his face close to mine, tenderly pressing occasional kisses against my lips. “Fuck…” He growls under his breath in a deep low tone that surprises me, sending shivers down my back as he pulls his fingers away and shows me the glistening remnants of my arousal webbing on his fingers.

“You are truly divine,” He grins as he gains my reaction to my fluids clinging to his fingers. Something on my pleading face must have struck a chord in him, because he quickly went back to slipping off my panties, collecting more slick on his fingers before dipping in his middle and index. He expertly dragged the pads of his fingers along the top of my gummy walls, picking up a perfect rhythm that sent shivers up my spine in a constant spur. My thighs shook gently as he continued fingering me, being pulled closer and closer over the edge. The pitch of my moans heightened when he pressed the pad of his thumb onto my swollen clit, rubbing in slow and gentle circles that slowly began to speed up. The pressure of his thumb on the bundle of nerves becoming stronger as he continues coaxing an orgasm out of me.

“Oh god..” I shudder breathlessly as I feel the telltale squeeze inside of me, the ecstasy blossoming over and through my body. I can hear a soft deep chuckle in my ear as he feels the clench of my muscles squeeze his thick fingers.

“Go ahead, darling. Let it go..” He purrs in my ear, I can practically feel the grin on his face as I squeal, release washes over me and paints the sheets beneath me. My thighs shake harshly for a moment and he continues pressing into my clit until I whine with overstimulation.

“I am going to absolutely ravage you, darling” He growls lowly. “So that the only thing you can think of is me, how much pleasure only I can give you.”

“Would you like that?” He asks in a pleasant tone.

I quickly nod my head, my mind dizzy from my previous orgasm.

“Use your words dear, I don’t know what you’re saying.” He sneers, clearly taunting me.

“Yes.” My words come out soft, feather-like off my tongue.

“Good…” His words trail pleasantly, a sweet praise. He rises away from me and swiftly unclasps his belt and slides it out from the belt loop of his suit pants in one swoop, like a small crack of a whip. I jump a little and his gaze peers up at me momentarily and he flashes an amused grin at my momentary shock and fear.

He unbuttons his pants and lets them drop, swiftly stepping out and kicking them to the side, adding his suit jacket and unbuttoned shirt to the pile next. His gaze focused on removing the fabric as I lie with labored breathing against the bed, my eyes flicking up and down his figure as I watch him reveal more and more. I watched in awe as he smoothly removed each piece of clothing without struggle, and a fervent desperation to remove them.

“Enjoying the show?” He purrs, his gaze wandering up to me again and noticing the hard stare I bore into his body.

Embarrassed, my eyes dance away from their staring and I feel a hot flush burn through my cheeks harder than before. “No need to be embarrassed, darling.” He adds, finally free of all his clothes, his cock springing free from his boxers and leaking with a drool of precum.

He walks forward, crawling up over me again and grabbing at my thighs with both of his hands. He notices my skirt still bunched at my waist and swiftly slides it off, forcing a small gasp to erupt from my lips. My skin now bare and exposed to the slight chill in the room, I feel the body heat emanating from James. For a ghost he had quite the warm body, his skin smooth and soft, the smell of his cologne strong and invading my senses causing my head to stir. I could feel my body begging and calling for him, even if I didn’t say it myself. And I knew he could hear it screaming from the look on his face and the way he tenderly placed kisses along my shoulders and collarbone. His touch quickly became gentle and careful, slowly lifting my legs over each of his shoulders while placing kisses up to my ankles. I shivered at the soft touch, his hands sliding up and down my legs before settling at the plush of my thighs and squeezing them.

He removes one hand from my thigh and begins to tease my slick folds with the tip of his flushed cock, flicking over my clit a few times before slowly sinking into my hungry entrance. He slowly bottoms himself out, groaning softly at the feeling of my walls entrapping him, my cunt fluttering with neediness and excitement. He takes a few moments for me to adjust to the sheer girth, his length hitting just right nestled against my cervix.

I began to believe him when he said he was going to ravish me, because as soon as he found a comfortable grip on my legs and a steady rhythm, he didn’t hold back from pounding into me like a madman. Erotic squelches of my cunt began to fill the room as the fresh smell of sex began to linger in the air, the sounds of moans, rough pants and groans added to the mixture. I could barely feel my legs from the way his thighs rammed into me, but I could fully feel the hard strokes of pleasure ringing through my entire body as his pelvis occasionally hit just right against my budding clit while kissing deep against my cervix with each thrust. Groans and faltered breaths falling heavy from his lips.

I bit my lip, trying not to make too much noise with the thin walls of the hotel, practically bursting with sweet moans with each ounce of pleasure that began to well up in my throat.

James removes one of his hands from my legs and leans forward a little, folding me over and trapping me down as he continues to pound me, sliding his thumb over my bottom lip and asking for entrance where I graciously let him press his thumb against my tongue. He holds my mouth open, grinning at my obedience and the erotic look on my face.

“Now, darling. There’s no need to be quiet. Let me hear your pretty little sounds.” He purrs, and he chuckles a little as my cunt squeezes tighter against him, my face furrowing with the intense feeling. I try to release the hold I had on my moans, my mouth still forced open as he fondles the inside of my mouth, sliding under my tongue and over the roof of my mouth, occasionally I suck on it and he flashes an amused smile at me. My toes curl from over his shoulders, still trapped in his grip as he drills me into the mattress. My moans begin to erupt louder as I feel the warmth and pressure of an orgasm building inside of me.

“Fh- I’m g’na!” My words struggle as I moan, coming out as pathetic whines interrupted by the sweet sound of pleasure and laboring pants.

I see a new smile paint his face and pulls his thumb away and wraps his arm around my leg and presses the wet thumb against my clit, my back instantly arches and I let out a small scream, my head pressing into the mattress as he changes his speed to long and languid thrusts that slide almost all the way out before slamming back against my cervix causing me to visibly shiver. Each thrust pulled a moan from my throat. He watches my cunt and the way it tries to suck him back in each time he slides away.

His gaze lifts to me again and watches my breasts from my chest arching up from the curve of my spine. My thighs begin to shake as a hot burst erupts and I practically see stars as I orgasm on his cock. I let out a long scream, moaning loudly, which presents a satisfied grin on James’s face. He follows suit after, continuing to fuck into me after my orgasm until he quickly pulls out and pumps himself against my stomach, painting it and my breasts with his cum. I shudder, my eyes rolling back a bit for a moment as my eyelashes flutter, my brain and body feeling practically numb as I felt lightweight and fucked stupid.

James shudders for a second, his breath stuttering as he orgasms, his gaze quickly lifting from my cum painted body to my face where he places a tender hand to my cheek and lowers my legs from his shoulders.

“My darling, you are marvelous.” He sighs heavily as I slowly come back to reality, curling up into his chest. “How did I ever find a woman like you?” A rhetorical question, and one that made my heart squeeze.

I let out a pleased sigh as I wrap my arms around him, our chests flush together. He doesn’t seem to mind the stick of our skin from sweat and our mutual orgasms, and neither do I. Listening closely to each other’s heartbeats and slowing breaths as we lay in the now sex soaked bed together. I feel slightly relaxed from the smell of his cologne and my perfume mingling with that sweet deep smell of sex, the air thick of it now.

“James, can I be honest?” I ask, breaking the silence with my soft, slightly hoarse, voice.

“Always, dear.” His voice humming near my ear as he rests his arm over mine and around my back, encasing me in his grip.

“I don’t want to leave the hotel…I really like it here, with everyone. With you.” I admitted, knowing that after everything the conversation had been settled inside of him, but something in me wanted to explain myself and be open with him.

“I know. I know, princess.” James says comfortingly, pressing a tender kiss to my forehead as I raise my gaze, sliding my head against the covers to look up at him. Staring into those coke zero eyes I love so much.

“I wonder…what does this make us now?” I ask. James and I had never been so intimate in our relationship, everything being boiled up to this moment.

“Whatever you want it to be…” He says in this deep, soft melodic voice that makes my heart flutter and my consciousness feel lightweight. I decided to think about it later, just laying my head closer into his chest, nestling tighter in his arms, my eyes fluttering closed as I fell asleep. Hoping that this time, I might be able to wake up in his arms for once.

Let me love you, don’t mind my desperation,

Let me hold you, not just for a vacation,

But for real and for forever,

Make it real life, let me be a real wife to you,

Girlfriend, lover, mother, friend,

I adore you

-Lana Del Rey

Taglist (you can be added or removed at any time):

@fear-is-truth @xkaisxjazzxsingerx @lemoniiiiiii @jazz-berry @marchsfreakshow

[reds-writings]

Hello there lovely!

I saw requests were open so, I'd like to request this fluff prompt with Rust (2012) ;

4) brushing a strand of hair behind their ear

(scenario where we are the ones brushing a strand hair behind his ear)

I thought that I would be interesting and cute since he has long hair and all

Anyways, thank you for your time and if you don't wanna write this is completely fine :)

Bye and take care!

omg! first request ever! this had me so excited! i hope this is to your liking, anon! <3 (sidenote: set in the jj universe after Marty and Rust take down Childress)

Rust sat in your clawfoot bathtub almost deathly still as you gently ran some water over his hair. It had been a few days since his release, more like dash, from the hospital and his insistence on being able to manage his own proved to be a lie when he almost busted his damn stitches open from buckling over after trying to stand on his own for too long. After wrangling him back up you had declared you wouldn’t have no stinking man in your house any longer so a wash-up was in order whether he wanted your help or not. 

This was the last place he thought he’d be accepted into after all this time. Apparently, Marty and you had come to an agreement that this would be the best spot for him to regain his footing while healing up. It was the most familiar, albeit painfully so. 

He felt all seventeen years of pent-up shame and guilt catching up to him at once as you doted on him in silence. The softness of your touch and the warm scent of the perfume you still stayed loyal to after all this time brought him such an overwhelming sense of comfort that he didn’t know what to do with it. It had been so long...being this close.

 He didn’t deserve you. Not then and surely not now. 

He’d never felt so pitiful…so unworthy. You either didn’t notice his swirling internal storm of self-deprecation or you just didn’t care to acknowledge it. You never were one for pity. That’s how he knew he was here because you wanted him to be. Not because of any underlying favors you felt like you might’ve owed him just because you had once been together. 

When you had been notified of the fallout that took place after Errol Childress you hadn't thought your world could be rocked so violently at this point in your life. But it always seemed like, no matter the circumstances, Rust’s existence would have a formidable hold over you one way or another. Sitting there, weeks on end while waiting for him to just wake up had been nothing short of excruciating. He looked dead enough with the way Childress had clearly had taken no mercy. Weathered face sunken in, marred by the near-midnight shade of bruising that had him almost unrecognizable. That nasty stab wound…it was like the sick bastard had been trying to gut Rust clean. 

Thinking about it now had you fighting off the acrid taste of bile rising in your throat from sheer nerves. 

After finishing up and toweling off his frail form you guided him to the guest bed that had been made up for him days prior. Taking a brush to his long, damp hair after getting him dressed you worked your way through its knots as lightly as you could. Hands trembling with such reverent care that you hoped he didn’t clock. This current look of his was something you were still in the process of fully absorbing but you didn’t really find yourself opposing it. He was still as handsome as you remembered, just more tired and more…1993 Tombstone than you were used to. 

There weren't many a situation in this lifetime where you wouldn’t take Rust Cohle just as he was. 

Once you were done you laid him back in bed and brought the covers up to his chest, trying to make him as comfortable as possible in his current state. You remained on the edge of the mattress at his side for an extended bout of time, just taking him in. You’d almost lost him for good and you’d been trying to ignore how it would’ve made you feel had his existence wiped from the earth once and for all. 

It would've completely gutted you no doubt. A fact that could never be denied. Not with the way you’d never stopped truly loving him no matter how much time slipped by. Past transgressions or not.

A deft finger found its way to a greying strand of hair that found itself in his line of sight, softly brushing it back to take purchase behind his ear. The tenderness of the action had his throat growing impossibly tight, the battle of fighting off the burning sheen of his eyes was lost as his bottom lip started to tremble. There was so much to be said that resided within his broken gaze but you just tutted and went to curl up beside him, taking his head to your chest to let him take comfort in hearing the steady thumping of your heartbeat. 

“I-..I’m…s-sorry…” It came out so heartbreakingly choked. For leaving then. For how things turned out now. He wasn’t sure. You’d never witnessed him so fragile. 

“It’s long over with now…hell, I figure you’ve gone through enough lately to consider us even.” You huffed a dry laugh through your nose at the morbidly placed humor as your eyes took on their own stinging wetness. He didn’t have the strength to find it funny, choosing to clutch at you tighter as you graced him into your orbit. Feeling the soft stamp of your lips at his brow and another at his temple was enough to have him cave in completely. All you could do was hold him tight and make him feel a little less alone, 

“If no one else has said it, I’m grateful you were able to stick around.”

[fantasynexus]

A Post about Taash From the Perspective of an Autistic White Woman

Note: this is a opinionated piece with some hint of self reflection.

I relate heavily with Taash in multiple facets of thier character; personality, relationship with thier Mother and identity not just gender dysphoria but cultural identity.

Being an Autistic Woman

The very first interaction I had with Taash is when I realized they are exactly like me. From how they speak, act and most of all from thier special interests in Dragons.

The uninterested attitude when they realize that someone sent people to help them with something they’re an expert in. They’re annoyed, because someone is questioning their ability to get the job done but they deal with it because they’re now stuck with us.

We ask questions and get one word answers she’s still annoyed because of the unexpected turn of her already laid out plan, until we encounter more Antaam. Once she realizes that you can pull your own weight and genuinely interested in Dragons and not wanting to just kill this specific Dragon is when she really starts to open up.

This comes off as rude to Neurotypicals while to me it’s just her being straightforward and honest. It’s a habit I’ve picked up as well, when asked, “How was your day?” I don’t give the long explanation of every facet of my day. I say, “It was fine.” and move on from the question or how I don’t understand the need to say “You’re welcome.” After you’ve been thanked. That’s to say I don’t feel the need to expand onto my answers.

I also don’t like it when people tell me how to do/ insert themselves into an activity / hobby I’ve been doing just fine on my own. Unwanted Criticism on my artwork annoys me. My Grandma still tells me to stop at stop signs even though I’ve been driving for well over ten years and have never ran a stop sign.

Apparently saying, “I know.” Is considered rude to my Grandmother and my comment is met with a “Well I don’t know that you know.” Despite the fact it should be common sense; a 1+1=2 situation.

It took years for my Grandmother to understand I don’t like last minute plans or to warn me a day ahead if she needs my help with something. If she stops me out the door when I’m already dressed to leave for the park or river and she needs help with yard work then in my mind my plans are ruined for the day because in my brain it’s linear, it doesn’t branch out and reorganize instantly.

Overbearing Maternal Figures

When I was 14 my Grandmother gifted me a book called, “Act Like a Lady, Think like a Man” by Steve Harvey. I never read that book because 14 year old me thought it was stupid.

I don’t dress feminine enough for her; I don’t wear enough make up, I talk to masculine, act to masculine and dress to masculine. She hates the fact I don’t care what random people think about me.

This is still a point of contention with my Grandmother to this day, which if I’m getting the underlying context of Taashs’ dialogue when they refer to themselves or their Mother. They experience the exact same issues that I have.

Taash is forced to hide their Fire Breath, which among the Qun is considered a Masculine trait. They speak how their Mother called their hands ‘Big and Clumsy’ when made to upkeep her Dar-saam, a feminine tradition among Qun Women. When Taash brings up Clothing it’s obvious their Mother said something about how they dress.

Their Mother at every point we see or gain a mention of her at the beginning and mid point of the game is constantly critical of Taash from the way they talk, act and dress. Does that mean she doesn’t care for or love Taash? No, because if she didn’t she would have left Taash and returned to the Qun (if she could).

The overbearing and set in their ways maternal figures do love the child but most of the time they refuse to stop seeing you as a child. They coddle you, they want you to fit their ideals and expectations even when you don’t want to. They refuse to expand their world outside what makes them comfortable.

You can see this when Taash prepares Rivaini dishes for their Mother. Even when it’s literally just Bread, Meat and Cheese. It’s still to “Rich” for their Mother. She refuses to eat it despite being a guest at the Lighthouse. Despite getting an answer to what Nonbinary means she redirects Taash to try Qun terminology that doesn’t fit what it means to be Nonbinary.

Aqun-Athlok: Someone Born one Gender but living like another.

There is no in between for that word, for the Qun, you either take on a Masculine or Feminine role within the society.

Being Disconnected From a Culture You Were Never Part of

My Grandmother immigrated as an infant with her Mother; Father, sisters and brother to America from Italy. My Grandmother is a Immigrant but it’s plain to my eyes how disconnected she is from her Mother and Fathers culture.

The closest thing to Italian cuisine she ever makes is Spaghetti, she doesn’t speak Italian, she doesn’t participate in any Italian traditions or cultural events. Yet she still calls herself Italian and calls her children and I Italian by proxy and she can do that she’s more connected to it then I am.

I don’t consider myself Italian, I consider myself a White American. The only connection to Italy I have is through her and when she’s gone that connection will be gone because I’ve never experienced or participated in true Italian culture.

Taash is more connected to the Qun thanks to their Mother. They can kinda speak the language, cook the food and even participate in customs of the Qun but it’s obvious they’re not really into it. They do it because their Mother wants them to do it. They’re far more interested in being a Dragon Hunter and pillager for the LoF over being part of the Qun.

Hyper-fixations and Special Interests

The very first thing that tipped me off to Taash being Autistic is how they automatically start talking at long lengths about Dragons; the different types, where they live, how they hunt and what they eat.

It reminded me so much of how I talked about World of Warcraft Lore and Characters. How I could recite every sliver of lore, tell when someone didn’t play Vanilla wow just by how they said “Sylvanas WindRunner would never burn the World Tree! They ruined her character.” When I can recount multiple times seeing Forsaken in the Royal Apothecary testing plague concoctions on Horde and Alliance alike. Her resurrecting dead humans into more Forsaken for her armies and plague bombing the city of Gilneas but that’s going way off topic.

Gender Identity

I dislike getting into this discussion because of how uncomfortable it makes me because of my own Gender Dysphoria. I consider myself a Cis Woman? Kinda? Sometimes I want to be seen a cocky asshole to women but a hot bombshell to men. If that makes any sense?

^This Clothing Reference I made for a Bard OC for Baldurs Gate 3 made me experience Gender Dysphoria so bad that I stopped drawing for well over a year. Noting I’m literally shaped like one of those Pomegranate Juice Bottles and nothing like that picture.

While I can relate to Taash’s Gender Identity struggles and finding themselves. It’s not the main thing I relate to (I’m sure you’ve figured out by now.), I’m still struggling with it and I’m not ready to go down that Rabbit Hole myself.

The Emmrich Situation from a Necromancer

This is the make it or break it for if you like Taash or not. When I saw they called him a Skullfucker I laughed it off and moved on. It is out of line to call him that and it is out of line to seemingly refuse to call him Emmrich when he asks.

I cannot imagine hating them to the point of name calling, I’ve seen someone on Reddit Rage Post, calling them a “Narcissistic Spoiled Cunt”.

Taash is Autistic and with Autism comes all the very shitty draw backs of it. Including having issues expressing discomfort until it builds up and explodes out like it did with Emmrich.

I react like Taash, I keep my discomfort to myself until I have a meltdown and it’s not something I can control when it happens. I especially keep silent about my discomfort if it’s involved with a coworker I’m meant to get along with and that every one else also gets along with them. Example: Coworker won’t stop talking about politics, I don’t engage I keep it to myself because I don’t want to start any sort of confrontation. I attempt to avoid and ignore said coworker unless I need to speak with them. Finally they say one political take out of many things towards me and I finally make a complaint to my Boss. Now I’m silently raging to myself on my break about how I’m to mentally and emotionally drained from working this job why can’t they just talk about sports and their kids?

I can tell Taash kept it to herself at first and because of the lack of communication she has she resorts to name calling in hopes he’d stop talking to them. It all comes down to a melting point ends with confrontation and settles into understanding.

The funny thing about this whole interaction is that you start off with Emmrich CONSTANTLY worried about making everyone uncomfortable but when he becomes comfortable in the group he ceases to realize that he’s making Taash uncomfortable.

And don’t act like you would be comfortable talking to someone who constantly talks about dead bodies. Because IRL you wouldn’t. You would think they’re fucking weird. It’s not even just dead bodies. It’s the entire Nevvaran culture around Necromancy.

I work as a CNA, if the first thing I talked about, to complete stranger, is every single step it takes to prepare a dead body. How cold the skin is and how you have to move quickly to reposition them before rigor mortis sets in. The sound of a Death Rattle and the smell of Sulfur coming from a dying persons mouth. Or how an arm despite being totally necrotic (Avascular Necrosis) can still cause immense pain to a living person.

I would be getting looks especially if it was the only part of my job that I talked about and there is more to Emmrichs’ job and life then Necromancy. Example: PLANTS! I’ve never seen his Apothecary hobby mentioned to anyone else besides Rook until you urge them both to find something else to talk about.

That concludes my Tedd Talk, there can be civil discussion about it or none at all. I don’t feel like being judged for my personal life experiences or how I relate heavily to Taash. I kinda just want people to understand Taash the way I do.

[mcsm-confessions]

I personally both love and hate the morally grey situation (at least, I think that's what this is) of how the Witherstorm came to be.

First, you got Ivor who planned to build and summon the Wither at EnderCorn, so it would hopefully expose the Order. However, he scammed the wrong person (really not a smart decision), and ended up getting people involved that made his plans go kaput. "I had a plan. And you interfered."

Second, Petra is the (as TV Tropes calls it) "Unwitting Instigator of Doom" here, and she knows and blames herself for this. "Ivor built the Wither, sure... but he couldn't have done it without that skull I gave him." Although, Ivor probably would've found another way to get a skull had the deal been called off (or simply never came to be).

And lastly, that EVERYONE (community and in-universe) seems to gloss over... Axel. He steals that "elixir" that would supposedly stop the Wither from becoming the Storm. It just makes me wonder though, would the potion have actually worked? "Without the Command Block exposed, the potion is useless! It wasn't supposed to happen like this!" Ivor was clearly confident in his plan, so he must've tested this potion at least once... If not, and it was all just one big gambit, then another not-so smart decision by him. Again, things might've went according to plan if Petra's friends didn't get involved (and Axel didn't take the elixir). But really, it all depends on if the potion would've worked at the moment it was needed.

It's super easy to blame Ivor for this entire thing (rightfully so because yeah that plan was dangerous as hell dude), but there are underlying factors that made it way worse than it should've been.

Not trying to justify Ivor's actions here, just thought the situation was interesting. I love that the writers did this, but I hated how it was barely brought up afterwards.

~~~

[vaguely-concerned]

I’m on a Star Wars books roll so here we go with my — unhinged thanks for asking! — thoughts on Dooku: Jedi Lost, specifically the audio play. Short version: I fucking loved this one! For maximum emotional devastation, pair with Master and Apprentice and Padawan the way my stupid ass did and then be sad about it forever I guess that's what I’m going to have to do.

 Long (LONG oopsie) version:

- So. First of all, let’s get the most important thing out of the way on this here old man yaoi website. We all agree dooku and sifo dyas explored each other’s bodies right. Or at least definitely would have if not for the laws of this order etc., potentially. That’s not just me. Good. Thank you. We can now move on 

- Secondly. Well. Guess I’m just going to be inconsolable about Sifo-Dyas forever now. I miss the days in which he was just a throwaway line in AotC spawned by a random misspelling to me, rather than an eternal raw aching wound in my heart

- poor poor ventress just reading through all the proof that dooku absolutely does have it in him to be a good dad I mean master and just — idk got tired of that and went the force lightning route with her. I love the move of having her dead master hang out with her all that time as well (having her slip up and refer to ‘us’ did something to me, god this is so sad. Is he actually there in spirit or is it just her grief dreaming him up because dooku is awful and cold as a cliff  wall and she needs some kind of attachment figure even if she’ll have to reinvent him herself, rebuild him word for word, gesture by gesture. Pain. sorry about your terrible track record with father figures asajj) 

- Lene: (About Averross): He hasn’t changed. 

Dooku: (In the warmest fondest voice you ever heard) And I hope he never does

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH MYSELF? MUST I SET MYSELF ON FIRE TO ESCAPE THE PAIN???

Another strong showing for Rael in general, btw. He’s so warm and charming as a presence even though he’s also a little chaos gremlin. (He’s quite similar to how Sifo-Dyas was when he was young in some ways, I can definitely start to see what Dooku responds warmly to in terms of character traits.) 

- the fact that good ol’ sheev showed an interest in rael, dooku and anakin… interesting huh! He’s just got a soft spot for the disaster lineage I suppose, maybe there’s an element there of luring yoda’s most direct lineage into the dirt with him without yoda even noticing for the longest time. Also cackling at the idea that he looked at qui-gon ‘too fucking stubborn and insufferable to fall to the dark side out of sheer spite’ jinn and went ‘...not that one tho’ fhdskjfa. And obi-wan is more like ‘that one blorbo all my little guys seem wild about but I just don’t get it guys’ 

IF rael’s refusal to join dooku at the end of ‘master and apprentice’ is the last word (which I am not convinced of ;___; be safe cowboy jedi we never see in mainline canon so far), then he’s the only one who has dodged palpatine’s attentions. Wonderful if true love that for him

ALSO rael is one of the few people we know to be on (or at least to consider himself on despite what palps might think lol) first name basis with palpatine. Hilarious. I concur with dooku never change rael 

- Sifo-Dyas: That’s insane. 

Dooku, deadpan: Yes.

Sifo-Dyas: The worst plan I’ve ever heard.

Dooku, somehow even more deadpan: Most probably. 

Sifo-Dyas: I’m in. 

Crying… weeping and dying………… what if someone could have helped sifo with his unfortunate prophecy propensity and they hadn’t drifted apart. Clone Wars averted methinks if dooku still ended up leaving the order he would have been too busy having tender gay sex with the love of his life (and only person who can call him out on his shit and have him actually listen) to be a war criminal (I am being extremely facetious of course this is very much a ‘time traveler killing baby hitler’ situation where the underlying forces causing this point in history are way too powerful to avert the catastrophe in one move. but at least palps would probably have had to pick someone else to wreck the galaxy through and sifo-dyas would be kissed & held instead of going slowly mad. A net plus some (I, me) would say) 

- I just wanted to applaud both the writing and the voice acting for the characterization of Dooku in this, from his young self trying so hard to be haughty and self-possessed but also being like, y’know, twelve and a dweeb and easy for Sifo-Dyas to pull into trouble, to the dry wit and warmth he shows with Rael and Qui-Gon or his sister later. It took me a little while to get into the voice acting specifically (the actor makes no attempt at going the full Christopher Lee, which in hindsight was probably wise), but now I love it. It gets a bit goofy in places but you know what, I am a long time lover of audio plays, that’s part of the charm 

- “Master, have I done something wrong?”

My heart is clenching… do you think… that master yoda’s deal with leaving his student to try fucking everything to have some kind of relationship with him until he just breaks down in tears of despair… is the kind of thing that maybe started a little bit of a generational trauma cartwheel through the ages. The point that bb!dooku is arrogant isn’t without merit and he strikes out incredibly ungracefully about it (in fact I would be a lot more worried than yoda seems to be that he decides to try to kill a tree about it, ‘I felt like destroying something beautiful’-style)  but I just don’t think a… fourteen year old? A teen anyway, Is going to learn what you think he learns from this. I simply don’t believe that silent treatmenting kids will teach them emotional intelligence I guess especially if they already struggle with that naturally lol 

(It is exactly the same mistake (in my opinion) that Qui-Gon makes with Obi-Wan, too, just leaving the kid completely alone and forcing them to come to you every which way for comfort or guidance instead of meeting them or reaching out to them. Especially once you see that really Dooku’s prime emotion/big core wound right from the beginning is loneliness. And that doesn’t only come from a feeling of superiority (which to be sure is also a big factor), because he has no idea where he comes from until he meets his sister. I don’t think the jedi as a whole were unsalvageable by any stretch of the imagination, but Yoda specifically… you are on such very thin ice with me at this point you little green fuck. You’re very funny and moving in yoda dark rendezvous and that’s all that’s keeping you in my somewhat good graces.)

- Okay, coming back a bit later I think I’ve found the right words to say this. more precisely dooku has two big issues which you can later see haunting all the way down his lineage — loneliness and control. (and not incidentally the intersecting elements of the two haha.) We see from his relationship to sifo-dyas that he’s not incapable of having close mutual relationships with an equal, but that kind of crashed and burned for reasons neither of them could really help and after that it seems quite telling that he has the easiest time with deeper connection in a teacher-student sort of form. I think his affection is unconditional and real, but you can’t get away from the fact that he also has the most control in that relationship structure by default, he gets to dictate what form it takes to a big extent. He doesn’t trust other people — the underlying idea ‘Only I can do this’ that eventually leads him down the Separatist path is there the whole way. It speaks both to a sense of superiority and an utter lack of faith that other people can or will help him. And then that echoes down through the master-padawan line: 

Qui-Gon with his self-righteousness and utter refusal to compromise leaving him isolated among the jedi (only he is right. Yeah the Force told him so. Don’t worry I’ve got a permit *insert parks and rec I can do whatever I want meme here*), Obi-Wan with his anxiety and perfectionism and incredible sense of shame and responsibility that he should be able to carry the whole world on his shoulders alone and beating himself up for failing, all feeding into not knowing what to do with Anakin and his complete lack of control of himself and his desperation to gain and maintain connection and love (which earns him the title of ‘Dooku’s least favorite family member’ fhdsa his immediate disdain for him is so funny and so in character. Repress and go slowly mad like a normal person anakin the way you’re carrying on is just undignified and that is much worse than being evil)… 

- Rael gently telling Dooku to take on another padawan soon… so sweet, so sad, local cowboy jedi looking out for his dad. Also highlights something about Dooku I think is true: that he does much better and seems to have an easier time holding to the light when he’s responsible for someone else. Again, I do feel like Dooku’s core problem is loneliness, but it seems like raising kids is the one point where that relaxes somewhat. Maybe if Sifo-Dyas had stayed in a better mental place and they kept in touch it could have been different.

- Lene Kostana is SUCH a character! Charismatic and deeply fucked up, when it’s revealed how her and Sifo-Dyas’ relationship remains long after his padawan stage is done I felt a little bit sick, to my surprise. Because that could just be kindness on her part, of course, it’s good that he has someone he trusts to look after him when he can’t himself, but also there’s something… queasy about the way it keeps him continually young, in a way. (Notably he still calls her ‘master’ even as an adult, when they’re working together. Not uncommon in Star Wars, of course, but together with everything else going on vibes-wise… hm.) The inherent unreliable narration of this story really worked for me in this regard especially — do we know that young Dooku was entirely wrong when he sensed the dark side in her? She certainly is willing to go to lengths that are… worrying! in her fascination with sith shit, she tempted children into a dangerous place they didn’t understand and couldn’t know the consequences of and she continually puts sifo-dyas in situations that are implied to be a risk to worsening his condition. Run of the mill incredibly irresponsible at best, sincerely sinister at worst. Did she choose Sifo over Dooku because he’s more vulnerable and shapeable? There is an undercurrent of something icky and emotionally incest-y going on with how she relates to Dooku and Sifo-Dyas in general (right down to the ‘NO, no one can know about this’ intensity after the… evil moss cave. I can’t believe I’m this emotional about a book with an evil moss cave). I don’t think she’s a proper sith in any way and I also believe there is real affection there on all sides, but idk something about the whole thing makes me deeply uneasy. Yoda where the fuck are you your son is out there with his irresponsible mom again they’re looking for dirty needles in haystacks and they’re not even wearing any gloves

- dooku telling sifo-dyas he can come back to haunt him if he likes as a joke… well well well I’m sure that doesn’t ring with some dramatic irony at some point down the line lmao

- honestly looking back at master and apprentice after reading jedi lost makes qui-gon's apparent lack of reaction to dooku leaving seem — let's call it highly suspect haha. rael asks him if he's spoken to dooku after and qui-gon is like 'no. why would I. it's literally fine. anyway this topic is done now'. (and rael seems to just go ‘*older brotherly knowing* uh-huh’) meanwhile he's thinking about dooku *all the time* trying to figure out his role as master to obi-wan, thinking about being a padawan himself, the parts of his life he shared with both dooku and rael. The jedi doth protest too much methinks  

ALSO how much of qui-gon thinking the council was too lenient with rael after he had to kill his padawan is about that actual situation, and how much is a ‘our family still likes my older brother more than me even though he Fucked Up so bad and breaks just as many rules as I do’ sort of deal mixed with his own neuroses about how he’s failing obi-wan (to which rael’s situation symbolizes the worst possible outcome, i.e. the kid dies and it’s basically your fault). Many thoughts. 

- moment of silence for jenza of house serenno. Girl your only sin was being surrounded by asshole male family members and I’m so sorry I think you did all you could with what you had to work with here.

Not… entirely sure how dooku’s claim to the title supersedes hers — is he a year older than her? (she’s eleven when they first meet, he might be twelve or older at that point I don’t remember haha) Does she just give up her place in the inheritance order? Are primogeniture and male heir preference factors in Serenno inheritance law? Not the most important thing honestly it works anyway thematically but could have been clarified quickly!

- interesting to see that the council’s restrictive policy against engaging with prophecies had a surprisingly big impact on how things went down. Kostana has a lot of responsibility in Sifo’s fate for insisting he keep it secret, but there is genuine fear for what might become of him if the rest of the order finds out he’s got 24/7 futurevision hovering over him threateningly… listen it’s not like the poor guy can help getting the future constantly pumped into his brain at nightmare resolutions, I think maybe if there had been more willingness to at least engage curiously with the concept of prophecy and how it works, even if you don’t put your faith in the particulars of what the prophecies say, this wouldn’t have had to be such a shitty isolated secretive life for him. hearing him slowly fall apart over the years considering how bright and lovely he started out... oof is all I can say 

- when dooku was a good jedi he was such a good jedi!!! The scene where they’re saving the kids from the collapsing hospital, every time he teaches his students anything…the impulse of someone has to do something about this! that made him so good at saving lives turning dark with the tarnish of frustration and rage over the years… nooooooooo problematic grandpa why did it have to be like this :(

- …do you think infant jedi can sense what’s going on around them in the Force. Because it makes a very sad kind of sense if dooku on some level remembers bodily or in the Force that he was not only abandoned but rejected in disgust as one of the first things he discovered in the world. Oh boy. With all the ways attachment relationships can go wonky in the first few years in real life I don’t even want to consider how much more wrong it can go when the baby is fucking psychic lol

- vaguely related: the way dooku seems to find the very idea of being truly reliant on anyone, emotionally or otherwise, personally offensive, terrifying and humiliating lol. Yoda saves him from being crushed by rubble and he is outraged because that means he can’t save himself (and his newfound sister) without anyone’s help like he thought for one glorious moment he could. The fantasy of perfect emotional self-sufficiency, doing away with all the messiness and risk of interpersonal relationships and cutting off the possibility of really being abandoned again. It’ll get ya every time. This is also a thing you see reflected in his lineage — they’re all quite inward-turning that way until you get to anakin, to different extents and with varying presentations but it is there I think. Qui-Gon turns to the Force, Obi-Wan to perfectionism and shame and rumination, Rael to the bottle and depression and hedonistic apathy, but they all struggle hugely with letting anyone in to help them. Dooku’s line are all much more comfortable being the helpers rather than the helpees, as it were.  

- “Thank you for everything, Lene. Tell Rael and Qui-Gon — tell them… tell them the Force will be with them, always”

Emotional terrorism against me specifically and personally. You asshole you just excused yourself from the non-attachment rules there’s literally nothing in the world except you to stop you from reaching out and telling your children you love them yOURSELF why are you like this

- the recurring theme of dooku seeing something beautiful (the tree in the temple, the tirra’taka as a child and an adult) and ending up lashing out to destroy it… but the tree was old and mighty and he was young and new and couldn’t truly harm it, so he was saved from his own impulsivity. And then when he sees the tirra’taka as an adult he loves it immediately. And in the end he still mangles and destroys it. He didn’t mean to, but he did. He woke it up and hurt it just by existing as a child and then he had to kill it as a mercy because he was too powerful at that point for anything to buffer his mistakes. The parallel with the bird he loved that he also couldn’t protect. He starts out with an aching loneliness somewhere at the core of him through no real fault of his own but by the end it is entirely his own fault that it’s worse, because he starts wrecking everything he loves in an almost absent-minded but definitely intentional way, like it’s a nightmare he’s listening to through the door as it happens in the next room over. He really IS the ‘I just felt like destroying something beautiful’ central of the jedi.

at the end qui-gon is dead and through dooku’s own influence, however indirectly. Rael has had to turn away from him. Sifo-Dyas is dead on Dooku’s own orders and so is his sister, he might as well have done it with his own hands. (though I think it’s very interesting that in each case he didn’t do it with his own hands, he consistently uses a middleman.) He lives within the coldness of his sterile empty castle and horrifically mistreats the one person he might have found something like connection with the way he did with his students before (Ventress), deliberately trapping her in a similar state of utter desolate isolation and telling her, essentially, ‘We’re like this as people and nothing can be done to change it. We can’t escape, we’re already doomed, stop trying, it’s too late. You are just like me (and if you aren't already I'll make you like me)’. And that’s the closest thing he gets to love anymore. When he accused Ky of using her ‘as a salve for his own loneliness’ and you’re like well well well mr projection man how’s that working out for you. He is completely, shatteringly alone and he is so entirely as a consequence of his own actions and he's too far gone to understand or care. I’m howling you useless fucking FOOL dooku  

- dooku 🤝 john gaius

“Hm. I have observed that there are in fact many flaws in our society and the government is deeply corrupt. So if I kill a few billion people here and there in order to fix it, is that not basically okay when you really think about it” 

Dooku making salient points about the political and ethical failures of the Republic and then, just when you think he’s onto something, he goes and makes The wildest fucking decisions about what to do about it. Sure. dark magic and genocide are probably the only ways out of this you’re so right bro. If we make enough minuses to add together surely we’ll end up in plus sooner or later

- *head in my hands once more* I can’t believe I am genuinely emotionally invested in someone called Count Dooku with the looks of a knockoff dracula and ultimate moral character to match right now this is terrible. hey. hey dooks. what you have to go and fuck everything up so bad for huh I’m so incredibly sad now

there is something to be said about how getting to see glimpses of what dooku looked like in the light makes it so much more heartwrenching that he never came back. he could have, a thousand times. and every time he chose not to.

[wayfayrr]

I'm really happy you like my take on people pleasing reader ( ≧∀≦)ノ♡

<3<3<3

Expanding on the reader a little more is that I believe that there would be a lot of conflicting feelings toward the chain.

Like — the reader would eventually develop genuine affection for the chain because they're very charming people. Not to mention near death experiences bring people together. <333

Now, even with their affection, the fear of abandonment would always linger in the back of their mind. The chain is all they have to rely on in this new world. If they're discarded, who else could they turn to? Where else would stay? There isn't a guarantee that they could even return home.

Hyrule would be their potential resting place for the rest of their days. If they even live that long...

The situation — terrifying. Your entire life became shambles in a matter of minutes. And all you could do was hope for the best?

And with the chain, they were never obligated to take in the reader. It was a choice they made. And nothing could prevent these heroes from making a completely different choice.

Regardless, the reader is completely dependent on these men — and the reader is completely aware of this.

No matter how long they've been traveling together or how much they bond with one another, I think their paranoia would always outweigh anything else.

They love these people immensely, but they will never fully trust these people.

And that's something devastating for both sides to deal with.

oh anon the amount of angst you've added to this is just delicious, because you're so right about it all - as much as both sides really do care for each other there's always that underlying whisper of untrust and caution and I love it.

there are so many ways that it could be taken and how the different members would react that makes it such an interesting concept especially if the tables somehow managed to turn somehow because some of them might try to work on that untrust while others might use it to their advantage

[gigigazelleloves]

Breaking Down My Theories on Buck and Eddies (Separate) Arcs

*all my sources are from this article: https://ew.com/911-season-8-preview-exclusive-photos-interview-8704969

(DISCLAIMER: this is just my interpretation and predictions based of this article, this is not officially canon)

Even though Buck and Eddie are best friends (and maybe something more depending on who you ask) they are still separate people with different story lines. However what I see coming this season are their own unique story lines that will mirror each other through the same underlying themes.

Eddie's main theme will deal with him having to deal with a big change in his life as Christopher has decided to live with his grandparents due to his fathers interesting choices (ex. the whole doppelganger situation).

This will leave Eddie with time on his hands to go and do what he would like when he would like, which is a privilege he's never possessed before. His personal life however, will probably turn out equally as disappointing when he turns for Buck's support now that his best friend and good friend are both dating each other. Eddie was originally the one who clicked with Tommy so for him to be a third wheel will probably cause issues. This along with the fact that he might need a lot of emotional support right now from a couple with tight time. Eddie doesn't always handle emotions well, which will probably cause some tension and resentment on his side.

On the other hand, opposite to popular beliefs, I think Eddie will be doing better in the workplace. Even though Captain Gerard is there and Eddie is a minority, I think that Eddie has a chance of thriving the most in this workplace. Out of everyone, I think he could be the most "socially acceptable" in Gerard's eyes. He was part of the military, has the least connections to Gerard out of the 4 mains (Hen and Chim worked under him, Buck interacted with him through Tommy and Chim), and he is a cis-het half-white man (plus with Chris gone, Gerard may not know that Eddie is a single parent to a kid with special needs). I think that Eddie will turn his focus to the workplace more than he's ever done before now he doesn't have to be a parent 24/7.

Buck's main theme will deal with him having to learn how to accept change in his life too. Buck recently just lost access to his father-figure in the workplace while also discovering he was bi in his 30's.

Now that Gerard is in the workplace and Buck is trying to learn how to integrate being bi into his professional life, his work life turning into a mess. Gerard and Buck aren't going to get along as Gerard has already met Buck, and not on the best of terms along (and Buck has heard awful things about Gerard) with the fact that Buck's emotions are tied in very heavily with his actions, especially during the line of duty (which is part of the reason he didn't join the SEAL's). Him and Gerard are going to clash based off those facts alone but now Buck has something else that makes him stand out, the fact that he's openly bi. Gerard may already know that Buck is bi and dating Tommy (due to seeing interactions with him and Tommy) or he will find out, which will add to the top Gerard's list of reasons to hate Buck. Due to this Buck is going to struggle in the work place not just without Bobby but also as minority and might notice Eddie getting better treatment than him/not standing up for him which may cause resentment and tension.

On the other hand Buck's personal life is better than it's ever been, especially with a new addition, Tommy. Their relationship is now official Buck seems to be enjoying the affection, something he's been missing in his love life. Plus Buck can talk and relate to Tommy on a different level due to the fact that Gerard is his captain, which will make their bond stronger. On top of that he can just be "Evan" with Tommy, he doesn't have to be "Buck".

Now going back to the main point, I think there is going to be a breaking point for the two best friends that is going to cause the them to go separate ways for a bit. I think Eddie will reach his breaking point first with the whole Tommy, Buck, Eddie situation and will trigger Buck's breaking point with the whole Gerard,Eddie, Buck situation. This is going to cause them to go separate ways (and hopefully to therapy for Eddie) to work on themselves separately, which is weird cause they tend to work through their issues together when they have one. That is the potential that this arc has though, to change that narrative.

This is where they share that same underlying theme, they have to learn how to become their own people for their relationship (platonic or romantic, however you view it), to become stronger. Eddie needs to become more confident in who he is as a person, friend, and parent without feeling the need to rely on others as much as he does. Meanwhile Buck needs to become confident in the fact that he is still learning who he is both as "Evan" and as "Buck" while also navigating a completely different romantic life.

We'll just have to see what happens starting September 23!

[astroyongie]

Why Am I This Way - Psychology Answers

Note: This is the last part from "How Am I" Section!! hope you guys like it

“How Am I” Section

“Would I Be Happier If I Was Egoist?”

What happens in the unconscious brain: 

A lot of times, the question around being egoistic is seen as a bad character trait because “as in a society, we need to put the other first”

But the reality is, we all need to put our well being as a priority, in order to find a certain comfort and happiness in life. 

We tend to care more for others due to the societal regime we are born in but also because it's a parental responsibility to socialize us (as well as school)

Parents and the educational system will teach children about the duty as a person and “how the world works”, what we have to do to have a good life. Some parents will based themselves in education as being “well mannered” = which often concludes to “shutting up and accepting what is said and done” 

Most of us have learned since we are young that benign good and well mannered will reward us, while being bad and egoistic is going to be punished and casted out. 

Rowe shows in her theories that people who have a “bad” education as putting themselves first have a lower probability of suffering depression compared to people who have been educated through well mannered ways and have been educated as putting others first

Rowe insists that being good is a fundamental belief for depression,

Mostly because those who have been educated as being “good” can sometimes have situations where they have issues with authority or the rules. whenever they are unable to make it right or obtain a certain value, they will consider themselves as failures and thus enhance the feelings of guilt and depression.

the underlying belief of the world as a fair and predictable place corroborates the mistaken belief that good people are rewarded and increases the feeling of inadequacy 

We need to start accepting that the world isn't fair and predictable, and that rules are here to allow us to see past the chaos. However unwritten laws don’t tie you up to necessities and you are allowed to be egoistic when you need to be. 

if you are interested in more of this topics you can check the works of Dorothy Rowe and Melvin Lerner

So what can we do?

As Albert Camus once said, to be happy we should not worry much about others 

The world isn’t fair and no matter what you will do, there will never be a wrong and right answer

You need to liberate yourself from the necessity of pleasing everyone and everything. 

Instead of making events fit into our impoverished pile of possible narratives, throw out rules and allow yourself to be who you are without any attachment 

Find the middle spectrum between pleasing others and being good, and being egoistic and putting yourself first. Take in consideration the environment but never push your body and soul to do something that is breaking you down

You are only sabotaging yourself by doing so

Breaking rules can be easy and can lead you to happiness. Experiment. Eat that cookie. Tell your boss he has been an ass. Tell your friends no. Say yes to life. 

Now, you know where to work to become a better version of yourself 

[00127am]

NEW YEARS SPECIAL : happy 2024!

@ notyourmalelead top of his class, hallway crush kim doyoung isn't very interested in his semester long partnership with sailor moon obsessed, popular vlogger ln yn. until your larger than life crush on him is revealed. then he's much more interested in proving that he's not your male lead (and subsequently wishing he was).

click and enlarge the center image!

NEW YEARS RESOLUTION FROM: yn.

find my very own tuxedo mask (NOT DOYOUNG!!!!). it's the same resolution you've had since you were a kid and old enough to know the implications of making said resolution. and yet, every year you seem to have to make it again...much to your chagrin. of course there has been those occasional off years where you thought you finally succeeded at long last. but the success never lasted long. or at least, not long enough for the resolution to be considered completed by any means. but this year you're determined! charging forward with newfound resilience. and look on the bright side! you've already eliminated one candidate. hence the disclaimer: not doyoung. there's plenty of other fish in the sea, right?

NEW YEARS RESOLUTION FROM: doyoung.

get new friends. that's not his actual resolution even if he swears up and down that he means it. the words are always spoken with too much underlying affection to ever take him serious about it. if a perfect stranger had proposed the question, then he would simply answer that he will strive to hold his position at the top of the class. it's a bit bland, a bit predictable, and very much doyoung. though it would be important to note that he does hope that his friends resolved to get a grip.

NEW YEARS RESOLUTION FROM: taeil.

get accepted to graduate research. ask anyone who surrounds him and they would tell you that moon taeil doesn't need resolutions. primarily because he can do anything he sets out to do and has a track record of doing just that. because taeil is unstoppable when he puts his mind to something and you have no doubt in your mind that this will be easily conquered by him as well. you only wish that you were as fortunate in your own proceedings.

NEW YEARS RESOLUTION FROM: johnny.

get yn to stop falling in love with every guy she sees. certainly, a daunting task. one that johnny undertakes with a shrug of his shoulders and a teasing comment about how this is for your own good. which... you suppose it would be. it would have saved you from the doyoung situation at least. johnny's considering making you wear horse blinders when you go out, save you from the plight of another fleeting affection.

NEW YEARS RESOLUTION FROM: taeyong.

win three of four competitions and get doyoung to be nicer to people. unlike the famous saying, the first is as easy as it is said. in terms of the arts (and especially dance) NCIT remains undefeated, mainly due to the effort and skill of one lee taeyong. the second resolution however.... well, much easier said than done. perhaps even impossible? hopefully taeyong will have as much success as he does in dance.

NEW YEARS RESOLUTION FROM: yuta.

mark. that's it. really! were you expecting something else? it's easy to say that resolutions isn't something that yuta takes seriously. or at least... not seriously in front of his friends. you could say that but... you have a sinking suspicion that he is quite serious about this one.

NEW YEARS RESOLUTION FROM: jaehyun.

afford a cat. another step in the grand effort of taking in that stray cat. a stray cat whom he has affectionately named jamal, after... well, after himself. he really is quite determined, even if his apartment building doesn't allow pets. because nothing can come between him and jamal. not even doyoung who cusses him out from his balcony, reprimanding him for lingering around the apartment building like a stalker. the things he does for a cat...

NEW YEARS RESOLUTION FROM: jungwoo.

BECOME SUPER FAMOUS AND POPULAR AND RICH. there isn't much of an elaboration needed on this one. jungwoo can never really choose one resolution every year, tending to combine them in some grand frankenstein resolution. and no one's one hundred percent positive that he knows what a resolution is. the way he talks about it is the equivalent of wishing on a star. no one has the heart to break it to him.

NEW YEARS RESOLUTION FROM: mark.

bring the team to nationals. NCIT basketball has never lost a nationals tournament to date with mark as captain, a streak he intends to keep up. the team has been his resolution since he joined and he's not quite sure that that will change until he graduates. if he had to set something else in stone for this year, it would be that he wants to score the last point just as the buzzer sounds. man, that would be so cool.

NEW YEARS RESOLUTION FROM: haechan.

reach immortal two ranking in valorant. haechan is a gamer first, human second. a fact that you're unfortunately accustomed too. so it only makes sense that his resolution is adjacent to his standing as a streamer. though if you pried for long enough, you would find that he has a secret, underlying resolution which is to annoy mark more than usual--not very exciting nor very new.

NEW YEARS RESOLUTION FROM: shun.

get better at cooking. the simple fact of the matter is that shun cannot cook. the boy cannot even make toast without something going horribly wrong. a fact which he undertakes with a glower and adamant protests. you think he'd be better at cooking since he lives alone in his own apartment. he isn't and this year he might starve if he doesn't improve. you both live in the same building so you hope he pursues this effort without setting off the fire alarms.

NEW YEARS RESOLUTION FROM: soo ah.

get doyoung and yn together! despite the nature of the resolution, soo ah wrote it large and clear on her resolution slip, waving it in front of shun's face with a grin. she believes that there is defineitly something more than partners going on between the two of you and she's resolved to get to the bottom of it. and get you too together in the process. i mean, have you seen the way he looks at you? (shun has and says he doesn't see anything out of the usual, what a party pooper).

NEW YEARS RESOLUTION FROM: min.

get accepted to NCIT. min has high aspirations and lofty goals, including being admitted to the prestigious, golden aged: NCIT. this is something that has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that her favorite vloggers attend that university. nor does that fact that she chose the same major as you. though, meeting the taeilenators would certainly be a plus.

taglist. @haechansbbg @evilsailorsenshi @firstdonutllamafarm thank for you for supporting not your male lead! ♥︎

@ previous @ home @ next

🧾 © 00127am 2024

[blue-grama]

A little Film/Jam requeim

Upon the news that these two are not planning any projects together in the future, I was pondering Thai actor pairings and why I liked this particular one. First let me say I'm very in favor of actors not getting joined at the hip forever -- I doubt that's why anyone gets into acting, and while I get the financial reasons this happens in Thai entertainment, I'm generally in agreement that it tends to limit creativity, since the brand often has to come before the story. My only gripe is that now they're off doing lakorns that will never get subbed in English and it's not fair and look, I need to see The Empress of Ayodhaya ok?? I don't think it's a bad thing to have actors with great chemistry appear together in multiple shows, however, and I wanna say that I think these two used that opportunity right. Look, we have Tian:

Utter cinammon roll, too pure for this world, total sweetheart. He's a little scared and a lot beaten down, but he still has a burning spark of respect for himself that he doesn't let extinguish. He spends 73% of this show in the throes of a mental breakdown but still manages to take control of his narrative in the end. It's actively insane that the murder glitter show has such fantastic characters.

And then you have Charn, who is...

... also beaten down by this world, but evil about it. It's all manipulation, manwhoring, and complicated smiles belaying his real feelings with this guy. Refreshingly, he only has to reform himself a little bit to get his happy ending.

Meanwhile, Jiu. Assassin, kind of a tsundere. Marshmallow center, obviously. I'll never be over how after he and Tian first had sex (under the influence of a beetle fungus, OBVIOUSLY), he got deeply hurt that Tian said it was a mistake and accused Tian of doing this to all the boys. Possibly my favorite Jiu moment. ANYWAY.

There isn't as much distance between Jiu and Tinn as there is between Tian and Charn (from what I've seen, Jam maybe doesn't have quite as much range as Film, or at least hasn't been asked to demonstrate it). But Tinn is a more open and straightforward character, the moral center of Laws of Attraction versus a guy who assassinates several people with scissors without remorse in Khun Chai.

Point is, we don't always get this with repeated actor pairings. A lot of the time, you have an underlying dynamic that comes through in all the pair's shows, and it can't wander too far from its origins - I was thinking about this specifically with regards to Only Friends after listening to this excellent debut of the Part 5 (of 4) podcast, which talks about the way Force's Top turned into a completely flat character, possibly because "interesting" would conflict with the whole True Love ForceBook dynamic that GMMTV needs to sell. An appealing dynamic can be great -- hey, I read fanfic, I get the joy of putting the same guy in situations -- but I really liked how Film and Jam went with/were given quite different characters in their two projects together. This could be a lakorn vs. BL thing, but it'd be cool to see more paired actors take on more disparate roles together!

My disappointment over no more shows from these two comes down to wishing I could see what else they might pull off. Jam as the rich jerk instead of Film? Both of them playing morally grey? It could have been fun.

Oh well; I'll just be over here lighting candles for English subs from One31, because at least this hot murderous royalty nonsense looks exquisite.

And if you've read this far, please feel free to drop me recs in the tags or comments of other pairs that have played really different roles or dynamics with each other. I love seeing actors show their range!