#siri × susebron

[lamaery]

Looking for a stormy or colorful summer beach read? @priscellie and Ihad way too much fun creating some romance novel versions of Rhythm of War and Warbreaker. I made the illustrations and Priscillie made them look like actual books – beautifully ridiculous, curly typography, mock-up and all. I hope that there will be more :D

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Image description: (by Priscillie) Photomanipulation of two battered paperback pulp romance novels that look straight out of a thrift store bargain bin in the 1980s. The books are RHYTHM OF WAR and WARBREAKER by Sandra Branderson. RHYTHM OF WAR features an illustration of Navani and Raboniel experimenting with light, Raboniel looming behind Navani and leaning in, their faces almost touching. Raboniel streams voidlight from her image-left hand, which travels like lightning through Navani's tuning fork and into the sphere in Navani's gloved safehand. It's the primary source of light in the scene, and the background is nothing but murky darkness. Raboniel focuses intently, her red eyes alien and unknowable, as she focuses on her work. One of Navani's unkempt locks of hair just brushes the corner of Raboniel's mouth, and I'm not normal about it. Navani looks like she's gone three days without changing clothes and that she's slept in her hairstyle a similar number of nights. The collar of her havah is open, revealing her collarbones. Her expression is a mix of amazement, fear, and exhaustion, her mouth slightly open and her head tilted back slightly. Her face is lit from below by their experiment. The title and author's name are angled at a sharp diagonal, with strong capital letters and the occasional flourish. At the top is the tagline "In the Heart of War... Passion and Honor are Fused!" In one corner is some publication information, with a little logo of a seal and the words "A 'Sealed With a Kiss' Paperback," the fake ISBN 17S-631-1123-1210 (the last two sets of numbers being our birthdays), and prices in America and Canada. The other book is Warbreaker, also by Sandra Branderson. The illustration depicts Susebron and Siri in a ridiculously overblown, windswept Fabio-style cover, with a shirtless Susebron holding Siri so she's half sitting on his chest, one knee up with her thigh along his chest, her legs off to one side, and with her body twisted so she's facing him with her upper body, leaning down to him, a breath away from kissing him. She's wearing a teal dress with a Mesoamerican vibe that reveals her midriff and leaves her shoulders bare, but with a long train that blows off to the side. Her arms are painted in looping gold shapes. Her hair is blonde for most of its length, but it's beginning to change to a vivid red at the scalp. It's wrapped in teal ribbon to match her dress. Susebron has long, sleek black hair caught by the wind, chunky gold earrings and a slim gold cuff at his upper arm, and is wrapped in long white strips of awakened cloth that snake through the image in an energetic explosion of fabric. He gazes at her in handsome adoration and abandon, and she gazes back in love tempered by concern. The title has the same diagonal and italicized design with the same typeface and flourishes, but the title is jazzed up with shimmery, iridescent type. At the top is the tagling "She was forced to marry a god... Then she took his breath away!"

[sauriodesu]

[kaladinstormblessed09]

There are people who don’t like warbreaker 😩. How? Why? It’s one of my favourite cosmere books! I understand it’s a bit slow but the set up is so so worth it for the amazing payoff at the end! And it’s just so so good on a reread. Knowing what you know of denth and Tonk fah. Of Lightsong and Llarimar! It’s just a wonderful book and I get sad when people don’t like it or find it boring.

[strangerlittlethings]

Why nobody told me that susebron (aka God king supreme) is a sweetheart. He's so cute 😭😭 AND ALSO, can you imagine like him sitting in the dark thinking 🤔: are we done yet? She's sitting naked in the dark for 5 hours now. Do we have a baby now?

[cosmerelists]

Canon Cosmere Couples: Did They Have A Good First Kiss?

As requested by @cosmereplay

Now, as I said when I accepted this post, there is NO CHANCE that I will actually remember who has canon first kisses and who doesn't. So please don't get annoyed by that. Except for Painter/Yumi, who I know had a terrible first kiss! Because Cosmereplay said so when requesting this list. :)

Anyway, here's how I think the first kiss went with canon Cosmere couples.

[SPOILERS FOR CANON COUPLES THROUGH ALL PUBLICATIONS INCLUDING WAT PREVIEWS—but the WAT one is under a read more!]

1. Wax & Steris: Great First Kiss

I feel like this one might be canon. I feel like whether or not this happened in canon, their first kiss happened when they were flying, and that Steris was overcome by the Romanticism and the Danger as she is in canon, and then she and Wax shared their first kiss. And I think it was legitimately great for both of them.

2. Adolin & Shallan: Good First Kiss

I think Adolin had plenty of kissing experience (depending on how "Not Before Marriage" the Vorins are...but like Dalinar & Navani kiss so surely Adolin can too) and that Shallan had none. In my head, Adolin kissed Shallan in the Perfect Romantic Moment and then Shallan panicked afterwards and said something which most people would have found incredibly awkward but which Adolin vibed with so completely that it just made the moment better.

3. Tress & Charlie: Bad First Kiss

Think about the "pair of gloves" scene. Those kids are so sweet and so awkward. And it is based on the Princess Bride, where Buttercup & Wesley shared a truly perfect kiss, which had (in that book) only happened three times in all of history. But this is a Hoid retelling. I don't think Tress & Charlie had that magic, so I think their first kiss was more ordinary and real.

4. Raoden & Sarene: Adequate First Kiss

I think that's how Sarene described it. Raoden thought it was a bit better than "adequate," but he yielded to Sarene's judgement that they'd "definitely get better with practice, though."

5. MeLaan & Wayne: Insanely Good First Kiss

MeLaan said Wayne was the best lay she'd ever had. So somehow Wayne is good at all of that. And they were so distracted boning that they missed a whole ass train robbery. They were definitely eating each others' faces.

6. Navani & Dalinar: Great First Kiss

I think this one is canon--I think their first kiss really was in the room after one of Dalinar's visions, when Navani kissed Dalinar & then they couldn't stop kissing for a minute. This is assuming that back when they were young and Navani was deciding between Dalinar & his brother, that she and Dalinar never kissed. And I don't think they did. I think they have "never actually kissed before" energy in the flashbacks. So assuming the canon kiss was their first one, it seemed like it was good! They're older & they know what they liked, and they definitely both seemed caught up in it.

7. Siri & Susebron: Great First Kiss

This one is canon, although not described in like a ton of detail I don't think. I mainly remember something like "Susebron didn't know what to do but Siri did" and that they were so insanely horny for each other that they hooked up despite that being the one thing that they needed to avoid doing. So, like, I think it's fair to say that they were into it.

8. Vin & Elend: Okay First Kiss

I don't mean to make this all about "prior kissing experience" like I'm looking at some sort of Kissing Resume. But Elend must have a bit of kissing trauma, since his only sexual experience prior to Vin was with a skaa woman he was forced to sleep with and who he later found out was executed for it. And Vin just generally has Trauma and was constantly on alert against sexual violence in particular. The two of them trust each other and like each other and per WOB were hooking up even before marriage (gasp!) but I think they were vaguely relieved when that First Kiss was over with.

9. Breeze & Allrianne: Bad First Kiss

I mean given that their relationship was Breeze being like "uh I don't know if I want this" and Allrianne being like "yes you do"...I dunno. I can't imagine their first kiss was good.

10. Gavilar & Navani: Bad First Kiss

Gavilar was imagining kissing himself and Navani was imagining kissing Dalinar.

11. Dalinar & Evi: Bad First Kiss

Evi was imagining kissing a Dalinar who loved her and Dalinar was imagining kissing Navani.

12. Sadeas & Ialai: Amazing First Kiss

I think Sadeas & Ialai are ridiculously sexually compatible and that they knew that from the first kiss. I dunno. That's the vibe I get from them.

13. Kelsier & Mare: Great First Kiss

I think their backstory is too tragic for them not to have had a great first kiss on top of everything else. Just to make Kelsier that much more sad, you know?

14. Kaladin & Lyn: Did Not Kiss

Not going to lie. I'm just going off of the energy from @room-temperature-orange-juice's comment on my "Is Kaladin Good in Bed" post which was, and I quote, "Bold of you to assume Kaladin would get laid. I love him, I treasure him, but he’s dense. Someone could lie naked on his bed, and he would be pacing the room, worrying about the safety of the vents."

I kinda like the idea of Lyn setting up all these romantic moments for Kissing Purposes and Kaladin never once realizing that that's what she's going for.

Bonus WAT spoiler couple under cut!

15. Jasnah and Hoid

This is a spoiler couple, but Jasnah and Hoid? Terrible first kiss. I do not think there is a world in which Jasnah and Hoid's first kiss was objectively good. This is based entirely on the WAT preview where Hoid is like kissing Jasnah's hand to get her excited and Jasnah is like "Mmm I am not Into That." Like I think they both wanted different things from that kiss and that neither of them really got it.

[hauntedfarfalle]

Siri:

Vivenna:

Lightsong:

Susebron:

[tarafox]

Oh look ive stumbled into a party with all the cosmere protagonists!

Susebron, Elend, Raoden, and Adolin are talking books, Adolin looks quite bored but everyone in the party is extremely enthusiastic.

Huh their wives have grouped up too. I think they are having a sassy comment competition. Sarene is giving a good effort but Shallan and Siri are running away with it. Siri's hair is bright yellow and they all have those smug grins on their faces. It looks like Vin is sticking with her court persona and seems to be discreetly judging if the others can fight.

Oh good! Raoden noticed Adolin was bored and switched the conversation to responsibility. They are all now talking animatedly about what they owe to their people.

[l3st1b0urn3s-707]

Oh my god I love Susebron so much. He's so pure, and sweet, and nice. He just hugged Siri!! That's like a huge thing for him because he doesn't feel really confortable with physical contact! And that's because he's been taught he shouldn't be touching or interacting with anybody. He's like an old baby that needs to be protected at all costs. I swear if anything happend to him I'd be destroyed.

[boundingfeather]

you could make a top 5 weirdest dates in the cosmere list and the carnival scene from yumi wouldn't even make it despite the fact that The Painter's a ghost and has to explain how to have fun to Yumi

[hayleyolivia]

This is one of my favorite books!

I started this uhm *checks watch* February of 2021. You want to know why I abandoned it? Because I didn’t want to draw Nightblood (the sword). So that’s some art reality for you.

Anyway I finished it. Because sometimes I think about the people who run the Coppermind, and I want to be helpful.

If you have no idea what Im talking about, feel free to carry on scrolling — 😅

[andreai04]

It was strange, how easily and quickly protection could cause destruction. Sometimes, Vasher wondered if the two weren't really the same thing. Protect a flower, destroy the pests who wanted to feed on it. Protect a building, destroy the plants that could have grown in the soil.

Protect a man. Live with the destruction he creates.

[queenaryastark]

Susebron is the purest soul in the cosmere.

[cosmerelists]

If Cosmere characters had to find work in a new genre...

[SPOILERS for Yumi & Nightmare Painter in #7--beware!]

Oh no! The Cosmere series is laying off its characters, and now they have to go and find work in other genres. Into what other genres could these characters most easily go?

1. Western: Wax & Wayne

Wax: I mean, this one is obvious, right? We're basically characters in a western already. Wayne: Yeah! You'll just have to remember that you can't manipulate bullets with your mind. Wayne: And I'll have to remember that I can only survive being shot...what? Three or four times? Wax: ... Wax: We will not survive long.

2. Science Fiction: Navani

Navani: My qualifications include "having built a literal flying ship" and "being of a race that comes from a different planet." Jasnah: So you are the alien invader in this scenario? Navani: I like to think I'm the beneficent kind.

3. YA Fiction: Siri

Siri: I mean...I'm a beautiful seventeen-year-old with magic hair and a rebellious streak. Siri: I think my best bet is this or "Disney princess."

4. Shonen Anime: Kaladin

Kaladin: I got a giant sword. Kaladin: Flashy powers. Kaladin: Dramatic powerups and even more dramatic one-liners. Kaladin: A crew of other superpowered folks bound to me by the power of friendship. Kaladin: I even get fight sequences that only lead me to respecting my opponent and becoming their friend. Kaladin: I mean...come on.

5. Horror: Silence, Yumi, and Painter

Silence: Not saying my life is a horror show or anything, but... Silence: I do live on, like, a hell planet full of ghosts. Painter: I live on a darkness planet full of living nightmares. Painter: Plus, I kinda lived "Invasion of the Body Snatchers." Yumi: One, I resent that. Yumi: And two, I got the ghosts, the nightmare planet, AND religious trauma! Silence: I'm...happy for you? Yumi: Thanks, I guess!

6. Spy Thriller: Rlain and Ranette

Rlain: I mean, I did literally work as a spy so I have the qualifications. Ranette: And I can make cool tech devices. Ranette: Do you want a suit whose lapels give off knock-out gas? Rlain: That does sound pretty cool... Ranette: We'll get along fine, kid.

7. Detective Novel: Marasi

Marasi: I think I could pull off "hard-boiled detective"--I've done my share of investigate work. MeLaan: Oooh! Ooh! Can I be the femme fatale?! Marasi: Uh...

8. Romance: Susebron

Susebron: I hear that tall, brooding, silent men are a staple of the genre. Susebron: PLUS, I know what sex is now! Susebron: That's gotta be a bonus!

9. Historical Fiction: Dalinar

Dalinar: Thanks to my visions, I have experienced several historical periods. Dalinar: I seemed to fit in them all with some degree of success. Lift: Yeah! A tight butt is always in style!

10. Children's Picture Book: Lift

Lift: Since I'm just a little kid, I don't see where ELSE I could go. Wyndle: M-Mistress, I'm not sure you would be, uh, the best example for little kids... Lift: What do you mean? I bet I could steal a food for every letter of the alphabet and that'd be stormin' educational! Wyndle: ... Lift: Sorry, sorry. Lift: Storming educational. Wyndle: T-THAT WASN'T THE ISSUE

[lostandbackagain]

warbreaker is the funniest fking book why is siri trying to make sex noises to convince a bunch of priests she's trying to get pregnant with their god who doesn't know what sex is while vivenna launches the world's worst rescue mission and spends the next 500 pages getting the shit kicked out of her

[vanilla-vivillon]

Ngl Ridger would’ve been better anyway. Vivenna never prepared to be Queen, she prepared to be the God King’s wife.

im a firm believer that adolin refusing the throne is 90% spite but putting his great dalinar cold war aside i am thinking of his conversation with azure in oathbringer....he was really like "wow i do not want to be king but i cant believe YOU gave up your throne and your duty to your people" and she was like worth it lol 💁🏽‍♀️

[l3st1b0urn3s-707]

I just finished Warbreaker and I need to talk about Lightsong, becasue a lot of things happend that I wasn't expecting.

First of all, and most importantly, the fact that Llarimar was his brother!! I thought they'd been friends, but not family, specially such close family. And the way he first died, before becoming a returned? That was so sad!

And then there's his second death. Super tragic, but in a different way. I already supposed he'd die trying to save someone, but the whole thing was too much. He cured Susebron in a really heroic way, and I'm both proud of him and reslly sad.

I really liked his character, and even if his fate was already written it still hurts, because he was a really cool guy, and so much better than he said he was.