#sincerely get fucked

[makorragal-312]

Okay, I'm a little lost here...

If Tommy already knew that his and Buck's relationship wasn't going to last since it was Buck's first, why the fuck did he pursue it in the first place?

And if you take into account that line he said about Buck taking Eddie with him to the Lakers game, it makes it sound as though he knew Buck was craving Eddie's attention the entire time, but chose to ignore just for the opportunity to get a kiss and more out of him.

Which is really fucking shitty.

[grandduchesswearingsneakers]

These type remind me of something my old therapist had said. People lust for power, people will do anything for it and sometimes two extremes of the spectrum and very much, one and the same. It's most often than not, the rich kid that sets my city a flame as a political statement, a showcase of his sensitivities towards those in need. One example tries to attain power in the only way he can, the other oozes vile to prove just how much she cares and fights for social causes. Even the thought that what I'm writing now, instead of dialogue, will welcome ad hominem, is something that terrifies me but tells me I need to press forward for that matter.

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[gammija]

tiefling jon's first day at the Archives

[bixels]

I'm not explaining why re-imagining characters as POC is not the same as white-washing, here of all places should fucking understand.

[gjdraws]

I love your kakagai art! I kinda miss it already

op I have news for u

[thebibliosphere]

Re-reading Ch28 of Phangs to double-check some details (just as well because I completely fucked up Vlad's room in the next book.) and not to toot my own horn or anything, but it's so fucking funny from an ADHD perspective.

Nathan just walked into a veritable treasure trove of Vlad's psyche.

He's walking around in awe, like, whoa, is that a hand-painted celestial map on the ceiling? Gods, Vlad's so talented. I bet there's nothing he can't do. Oh, a pianoforte! He's musical! Wow, look at all these books. He's so smart. I love how smart he is. I want to fuck his brains out. Oh! Look! A telescope!

As opposed to Vlad, whose internal monologue is: don't look at the mess, don't look at the mess, don't look at the mess. Okay, just act normal. How... how do I do that? Oh gods please don't think I'm weird. Please like me.

I know I wrote him, but he's in such a mood sometimes, lol.

[holy-reference-in-a-username]

Look out for magic mirrors~!

Congratulations you activated my trap card. Take a comic.

Ell: Holy shit they're idiots.

[benevolenterrancy]

@hereticcryptid I appear to be slowly but surely developing an entire series about how Hensheng and Baxia apparently get fed up with their owners' inability to express their feelings and take matters into their own hands...

[witherbee]

i don't mind if people don't like AJR's music, that's fine, we all have different taste, but the people who are obsessed with making fun of them because they're "cringe" really rub me the wrong way. like, i'm sorry you feel uncomfortable leaning into vulnerability and sincerity; couldn't be me.

[corviiids]

ok but . . . . . . . Could YOU be kira and win?!

based on how light formulated kira, it's impossible for kira to win. kira's 'new world' has no win condition - light never cleanly defines what criteria he would need to satisfy, so the new world is inherently aspirational, because deep down, light doesn't want to win at all, he just wants to play.

social reform via mass murder, especially in the way kira formulates it but really in any way, is also not only (obviously!!!) deeply, deeply unethical, it's also just fundamentally impossible for myriad reasons. again, kira can't win.

if you found the death note in real life, i would heavily advise against using it. i personally would not use it. aside from, again, the obvious ethical ramifications, it's just too fucking risky!!! the parameters of how the note functions, the potential consequences, the rules, the terms of the 'contract' you'd enter into by using it - all of these are unclear, even if you knew about death note the series. furthermore, even if you had access to the rules, which you don't, the rules explicitly state that the shinigami don't have to explain everything to you. not even the shinigami can access all the rules (only the shinigami king). and based on the a-kira short story, the rules can change and apply retroactively at any time. even if you didn't know all that, by choosing to use it, you would be submitting yourself to all sorts of unknown supernatural and non-supernatural risks. it's just not a smart thing to do. leave that shit Alone

kira is a hubris trap. the death note is designed to appeal to all the most unstable parts of a person's psyche. it's especially good at targeting one particular vulnerability in humanity, which is that people are generally much worse at considering how they would react in a hypothetical scenario than they think they are. anyone who thinks they could succeed in using the death note, even with a better formulated plan than light yagami, is falling victim to that trap.

yes

[spy-x-family]

i don't think tanjiro is the successor of sun breathing 'despite not being related to yoriichi'. i think it's that yoriichi is family to the kamados

in kny, family is whoever loves you. rui tries to make a family but ultimately fails not bc they're not blood related but bc he doesn't really love them. on the other hand, kanae, kocho, and kanao are sisters. zenitsu's master is his grandfather. inosuke's family were the boars (and then of course later, his birth mother kotoha, because tho he barely has any memories of her, he remembers she loved him dearly)

yoriichi was an unwanted child and later an unwanted brother when michikatsu's hatred for him festered and grew. he was rejected from the corps and only had the kamados. when he felt like his existence was worthless, it was the sumiyoshi who told him he deserved to be here as much as everyone else and made the effort to weave yoriichi into the family by passing down his earrings and sword form. he was rejected by his family but accepted by another. if family is whoever loves you, then that's yoriichi's people, and that love was why tanjiro succeeded him

[parlerenfleurs]

Shen Qingqiu is so funny.

When he hears the rumour that Luo Binghe tried to rape him at the immortal alliance conference: LOL that's stupid, who wouldn't spread their legs for the protagonist??

When he finally understand that Luo Binghe likes/desires him in that way: No no I would never go be gay no way not in a thousand lifetimes >:(

When he finally understands and trusts Binghe: Sure whatever >_> It's not like I like him or anything

[mybraindumpsterfire]

Us: Please do a ‘Week in the Life’ video, please pretty please 🙏

Dan and Phil: Mmmm… Funko Pop Game? 😋

[ratatatastic]

"Is [Barkov] a normal dude? Meaning like—is he just like, you're having a cheeseburger some day and he's like 'Oh, no, no, no! I need this, I need the superfoods,' like is he kind-of... is he a normal guy?" "'Is that Wagyu or no?'" "'I need, you know, the best of the best,' Like how is he?" "He's undercover really funny, especially when you get to know him. I don't think he said much for the first 3 to 5 years. But I always joke with him I've never been invited to his house and we've played together for 10 years." "Dude, Brandon Montour said the same thing! We had him on last year! He's like, 'Dude, he's never had us over! We're always like—' But he doesn't live by all you guys, right? He kind-of lives a little further out?" "Yeah, he lives 20-30 minutes away in Boca [Raton.] But, yeah, no I—Listen, it's just his personality. It's who he is, and we respect him for it. Like I said, he's a really funny guy when you get to know him, and sometimes he's got those one-liners. And, you know, he's one of those perfect humans, right? You know, one of the guys we all strive to be, and we'll all come short forever, but—yeah, he's a good person."

The Cam & Strick Podcast | 7.30.24 (x)

i hope this bit never ends if not for the fact that each time ekky has to say it he has to add another year to it which adds to the comedy of it all

"Hey, who's got the best setup on your team with the Panthers? When all the boys get together, 'We're going to your crib. We're gettin' on the jet skis,' whatever. Who's got the best setup?" "Yeah, um—Aaron [Ekblad]'s probably...I mean, Aaron's been there the longest. Hopefully, Barkov hears this! He's been there the longest, but he never invites the boys over to his house!" "Oh~ Barky!" "Is he cheap?" "I'm gonna call Barky out right now, and see if he can invite the whole team over next year..." "Is he cheap? Is he cheap? What is it?" "Will he do it?" "Oh, he's up in 9 East—obviously, like quiet, unbelievable guy, but he's the only up in Boca [Raton.] So I don't know if anybody wants to even drive up to Boca..." "Oh, Fancyland Zone..." "What do you mean? How far is that away from where you are? Like, and everybody else?" "Yeah, we're all in Ft. Lauderdale, Las Olas—within probably... you know some families are in Parkland by the arena, but we're all within probably 10 minutes away and he's up 30, 40 minutes away so."

The Cam & Strick Podcast | 7.25.23 (x)

the boys ribbing sasha for living so far away and never inviting them to his house but still going btw hes amazing and incredible and perfect and sososo good we say this to tease him but like this is just who he is as a person and we accept that so please dont misconstrue this into something its not this is a joke and we dont take it to heart

and on that topic its really a shame that NA media doesnt know how fucking funny and how absolutely unserious he can be. I understand the notion of diligent no-nonsense captain is a prevalent idea (which he is lets make that clear he takes hockey so seriously) but especially since this season hes said hes cut down on weight so he could skate faster (and the results show) so i understand where the questions are coming from knowing the track record but also

we've won a cup and hes ramped it up its fantastic and this is one of my favourite examples of it of how quippy he can be

happy to talk about my cappy!!! happy to tease my cappy!!!

"and you know hes one of those perfect humans right? you know one of the guys we all strive to be, and we'll all come short forever but yeah he's a good person" do you also cry about how terribly fond and sincere ekky gets about sasha

[puppyeared]

learning abt friendship decay and "not reaching out to your friends for months at a time unprompted is not neurotypical behaviour" has me feeling a certain way