#(nhs on the other hand is having an AMAZING day when he sees it)

[benevolenterrancy]

@hereticcryptid I appear to be slowly but surely developing an entire series about how Hensheng and Baxia apparently get fed up with their owners' inability to express their feelings and take matters into their own hands...

[prettyboy-basement]

. . . searching . . . found ! dumb boytoy (asra x ftm!slime!reader)

"mr. asra! look what saw!"

"mr. asra, who's this?"

"mr. asra you're so smart!"

asra was going to lose it.

he was just going through the forest when muriel just had to dump you into his arms, not knowing what to do with you.

"i don't want to hurt him. you can take care of him."

and in his arms was a young man made out of... jelly? slime?

when he brought him home, he didn't know what he would expect. but as the days went on and went by, he realized you were just so curious and... cute.

"mr. asra are you okay?"

you were squishy... soft…

"mr. asra?"

"...huh?"

"i was asking if you were okay. the water's been boiling for a while now."

he looked down at the kettle and swore softly, taking it off the heat. you giggled quietly, and asra was sure his heart flew.

he poured the two cups and stirred them before setting them at the table.

"you told me you were curious about something?"

"yeah, why do you wear clothes?"

asra nearly dropped his cup and coughed to cover a swear.

"i'm sorry, what?"

"i was wondering why you wear clothing. i mean, it's super restrictive and i was curious how your body looked..."

this wasn't real. asra was still asleep and he was about to wake up rock hard and he'd need to rub one or two out before opening his shop.

...oh who was he kidding, his mind wasn't this creative. this was actually happening.

"um... well, people wear clothing for modesty reasons. we have been taught since we were kids that our body needs to be covered. along with this, the sun can damage us, and such."

"well then what about when we're just at home and the shop is closed up? why do you still wear clothes?"

asra stared at you and crossed one leg over the other. "w-well, it’s important to practice modesty whenever you can so you don't for- hey!"

he hadn't noticed you slide down to his legs until you forcefully uncrossed them. there, you could see the tent.

"what's this, mr. asra?"

his face heated up and he looked away. well you were curious. "...that is my dick."

"why's it pointing up like this?"

"because... i am currently aroused."

"...what does that mean?"

"it means that my sexual desire is higher than normal-nh!"

you slid your hand over his tent, and asra quickly grabbed your wrist. he panted softly and thought offhandedly how it would feel around his cock.

"goodness, dear, you cannot just do that..."

"oh! sorry, mr. asra!"

"it's alright... quite alright..." you were so curious about it and surely you wanted to see it, right? "...would you like to see what it looks like?"

"you'll let me see?"

"only if you wish to."

you nodded your head quickly and asra swore under his breath. he lifted his hips and pulled his pants and boxers down to his knee, let his cock bob out. you eyes widened at the sight.

"woah..."

he wrapped a hand around your head. "you can touch it if you like.”

you reached up and touched his cock softly, focusing on the tip. his breath hitched, it felt like something he tested some time back, with a fake cunt.

"are you okay, mr. asra?"

"mhmm... it feels... so good..."

you slowly wrapped you hand around it and stroked him gently. his precome leaked onto and then into your hand and you pulled it away to watch it.

"wow... what's this?"

"ah... hah... it's precome... it's something that comes out while i'm relieving myself of my arousal before i come."

"what does that look like?"

he stared at you before pushing his hair back. he huffed out a laugh, and pulled you up into his lap. "you really want to see?"

"mhmm! mhm!"

"alright. hold on tight."

he lfited you up and pushed his cock into you. he wasn't sure which hole he pushed into, if he did even push into one, but be didn't even care.

you felt amazing.

"ohh... oh fuck, darling... you feel..."

"uhnn... w-woah... look at it!"

he looked down and he could see his cock inside of you. well now, he couldn't pass this up. he held onto your hips and thrust upwards, pounding away at your hole, making you gasp and hiccup, clearly surprised at the sudden action.

you whined and held onto his arms, throwing your head back as you moaned out into the shop.

"god, how'd i get- ah- so da-amn lucky- fuck!"

he felt you squirt around him and he looked down, seeing the odd colored liquid drip down onto the chairr.

"holy fuck- ah!"

he held you close and came inside of you. you both sat there for a few moments afterwards, and he looked down once more, seeing his cum pooled inside of you.

"oh... oh wow... what was that, mr. asra?"

"that... was sex. people who love each other very much have sex."

you sat up and watched his face. "do you love me?"

he chuckled and nodded. "very much so, my dear."

you wrapped your arms around him and swished your hips, making him choke.

"i love you too mr. asra! let's live together forever!"

he held your hips. "yes. let's."

[robby-bobby-tommy]

Honestly, I can't stress enough how important the theme of family is in mdzs. IMO it is the main theme of the book. Of course romance and devotion is important, but there's something so special about the way families are portrayed in mdzs and how important they are. (I watched donghua and read some of manhua btw)

Let's start with sibling relationships:

The whole plot started because of love for a brother and rage for how unjust his death was. The whole Cloud Recesses arc is an amazing set up for Wangxian etc, but it also shows the complicated yet sweet relationship between WWX and JC. How they both care so much about each other, how they tease each other. IMO JC did see WWX as a brother and loved him as such. Every time he scolds Wei Ying, it's always about Wei Ying's safety. Usually it's not "How dare you use demonic cultivation, you're gonna get our clan in danger", it's " If you keep it up, I won't be able to protect you". Even during the Wen invasion, the they're still together, they sacrifice themselves to save another. And don't get me started about Jiang Yanli, she loves her brothers very much. Despite Madam Yu creating a competition between the boys or Jiang Fengmian's lack of action and even enablement of WWX' dangerous and irresponsible behavior, they still love each other. I can ramble about yunmeng trio so much, but in short despite everything they went through, they cared for each other deeply. After Jiang Yanli's death everything changes, because imo the boys fully internalized Madam Yu's last words. WWX bring pain and destruction to Yunmeng. I think I need to stop, or we'll be here all day.

Or, another example: Nie bros. Nie Mingjue had to basically raise A-sang. They do deeply care about each other, and despite everything they'll be here for each other. Yet the desire to protect NHS from sad reality of golden core and qi deviation, their relationship soured a little. But it's obvious even for an outsider like WWX, that NMJ loves his brother. He pressures NHS, because he feels that he's starting to lose it. He wants to prepare his little bro to be a decent leader and to live without him. And NHS literally makes it his life mission to avenge his Dage even if it means having a blood on his hands.

Lan brothers show a good brother relationship. Lan Xichen supports LWJ in everything he does. Even his love for WWX. He gets protective, when he thinks WWX is laughing at LWJ's feelings. Lan Zhan is deeply saddened when his brother is missing and helps him discover the truth about his best friend's death. They're almost perfect siblings. (Plus they're super funny when drunk).

MXTX deserves an award for writing so many different sibling dynamics. And that's not all, she also portrays this different parental relationship so interesting.

Like, the nephews you didn't want, but care so much about, that you don't want them to suffer like their father did (Lan Qiren and this family drama); the kid of your husband's unrequited love, whom he seemingly loves more than your own children (Yunmeng Jiang happy house), JGS and the myriad of the kids he has ect. I love this variety so much.

I just love so much how MDZS has so much themes. Every time I think about MDZS, I find more and more interesting points and moments that change my perception of the characters. Every character is so humain and has their own motivation, that I can't truly hate some of them (apart from Wen Chao, his mistress and JGS, they suck).

TLDR: MXTX is a queen of writing complex human characters.

[dayseternal-blog]

Summary: When Naruto finds out Hinata is weird...

Written for NH Fair, NH Month 2023 Day 2 Prompt: Maid Cafe

Rated T.

Unexpected Miracles - Short One-shot

So there’s this classmate.  New friend.  She’s pretty.

Glossy hair.

Cute smile.

Squishy cheeks.

Shiny eyes.

Clear skin.

And always put-together.  Talks nice, laughs nice, well-mannered.

She’s just simply nice, never a bad thing to say about anything or anyone.  And so pretty, he feels like he should try harder to be fashionable and cool if he’s going to try to act on his attraction.

As a nerdy gamer and manga fan who’d rather spend money on building a good computer, he only puts in passing effort to look presentable at school.  A low maintenance haircut, a good collared shirt, and basic jeans.

He can tell they probably run in different circles of people.  To be honest, he wouldn’t have thought to notice her if she hadn’t sat next to him in their literature class.  He wouldn’t have even tried to talk to her if they hadn’t needed to do partner discussions.  He would have never thought to exchange contact information and message her if she hadn’t offered to split the cost on textbooks with him.

And this, too, is something he never expected.

He’s standing across the street from a maid cafe.

He’s watching his nice, pretty classmate walk around in there, and she’s dressed in a fluffy maid outfit, complete with the fluffy little headband-thingy, the fluffy wristbands, the fluffy apron, the knee-high socks…

When he found out she works part-time at a cafe, he boldly suggested he stop by to visit, and she sweetly said, “Oh, no, you don’t have to do that, Naruto-kun.  I’ll just be working, so it’s not worth your time.”

He didn’t think much of it, other than that it was kinda weird she didn’t tell him the name of her workplace.  And by some miracle, he just happened to see her while heading back home from shopping for a new external hard drive. 

His pretty classmate is actually on a whole other, previously unknown level of weird.

Who’d have thought that behind her picture-perfect fashionable exterior lay the type of girl who adores the maid aesthetic?

The traffic light changes, he crosses the street quickly, and without hesitation, he pulls the door open.

The little bell above rings, and a maid greets him with a joyful smile.

But he only has eyes for his classmate-friend, and seeing her much closer in all her fluffy glory is absolutely amazing.  And it’s crazy how the uniform makes her seem even curvier than he thought.

She doesn’t notice him at first, but eventually she does, and the angelically shocked look on her face is priceless.

This is the first time they’re seeing each other outside of campus.

In his worn t-shirt that proudly spells out the name of the RPG game he loved two years ago and in decidedly comfy yet dorky khakis, he is absolutely not the same Naruto she usually sees.

“Hi, Hinata.”

“N-N-Naruto-kun?”  She steps up to him quickly, and the blush glowing over her face and neck is really the most incredible sight.  “What are you doing here?”  She’s blinking quite a bit, unable to meet his eyes, and he realizes she might be stressed out.  Or embarrassed.

“I was shopping for a new hard drive.”  He notices how she’s starting to look a little upset, so he admits, “You look really cute.”

To his relief, her eyes dart up to meet him, and she smiles a tiny bit, the blush at her cheeks deep and red.  She bites her lips and her shoulders wiggle, the movement accentuated by the puffiness of the sleeves and the ruffled apron straps.

“Are you a friend of Hina-tan’s?” the other maid asks.

A gleeful smile wiggles out onto his own face, and he glances back to his classmate-friend.  “Hina-tan?”

Hina-tan’s hands come up to hold her cheeks.  She bends over to whisper in her coworker’s ear, “Yes, Naruto-kun’s my friend,” and the other maid’s lips purse together in a thrilled sort of expression.

“Well, will Naruto-sama be dining in with us today?”

So he’s officially a friend, not just a classmate!  He quickly glances at the pink menu on display that shows sparkly photos of uber-cute food and desserts.  That are a little pricy.  “Maybe another day.  I just wanted to stop in to say hi.”

“Okay.  We hope you come again soon!”  The other maid bows, Hina-tan bows, and he gives her a lingering look and smile before leaving.

-

So there’s this guy she’s been sitting next to in class.  Heart-stoppingly cool.

Tall!

Short, light hair.  Like that “best friend of the emo-love interest” type of characters in all the shoujo manga she read growing up.

Strong eyes and warm smile.  Like he always seems to know what’s going on in class, participating a lot, but it turns out he’s just really good at faking it.  “Yeah, I don’t do the readings very often, but the discussions are always interesting!  So I’m really enjoying the class!”

Healthy, tan skin.  Call it her dreamy-rebellious side, but she has a thing for guys who look like they don’t care about traditional beauty standards.  (Don’t expect to catch her without sunscreen on, though.)

He talks with a kind of roughness that also just sounds of sunshine and carelessness, but everything he says seems sincere.  Like whatever comes out of his mouth is thoughtlessly flung out into the open while also being the most kind encouragements or clever jokes.

He’s funny.  Nice to mostly everyone.  When they’re together in class, she can almost forget about all the stress of college life, all the stress of the expectations from her father.

Naruto’s just so cool, it’s a miracle he even talks to her.  It’s a miracle he includes her in his conversation, despite how quiet she is.  It’s a miracle he even messages her, and she supposes that he must just be that nice and sociable.

Just absolutely one of the coolest people she’s ever met, and so she knows he absolutely would be weirded out by her secret hobbies.

So.

Why was he here in her workplace calling her “really cute” and “Hina-tan” with a huge smile?

How did he find out her secret so quickly after asking her about her part-time job???  Isn’t that coincidence too much?  Why must the world do this to her???

To her great relief, she finds his message soothing her worries after her shift is over.  “Sorry to surprise you like that today.  I was really just passing by and happened to see you.  Btw the maid outfit really suits you!”

Pleased heat rises to her cheeks.  A kind of giddiness flits about her heart.  “Thank you 😊  I was happy to see you”   On reflection, yes, she was surprised, and she would’ve liked forewarning, but of course she was still glad to get to see him.  Outside of the classroom.  So it feels like their relationship has deepened past an initial friendship.  Afterall, only her childhood friends know about how she likes to dress up and pretend she’s in a different world.  None of her family knows.  And…based on his reaction, maybe he’s not weirded out at all?  “And I hope I didn’t make you feel like you couldn’t stay.  You are welcome to visit again”

Surprisingly, he responds fairly quickly.  “Only if Hina-tan is my server!”

He’s calling her by that nickname!!!  “🙈 Okay, I’d be happy to!  I work on Wednesday, Thursday, and Saturday”

The following week, he’s got a huge grin on when he greets her in class.  He’s even more open and friendly to her.  And, as expected, he visits the maid cafe that Saturday with an antisocial-looking boy who seems like he’d rather not be there and a fashionable girl with pink hair.

She hopes the girl is just a friend of his and not something more.  He hasn’t said anything about a girlfriend…

After she’s taken them to a table, he introduces her to them.  “This is Hinata, my friend in my lit class. Hinata, this is Sasuke and Sakura.”

“Hello,” she greets, noticing how Sakura has a big smile.  “Thank you for coming today.”

“Ohh, it’s my first time in a maid cafe!  I’ve always wanted to try one.  I’m so glad Naruto invited us to come here!  You look so adorable!”

“Thank you,” she replies.  If Sakura actually is Naruto’s girlfriend, she can’t be too upset about it when it seems like she’s really nice.

They order the only meal items, the nya-nya cat omurice, sweet curry doggy, and sleeping bear croquette, and when it comes time to pay, Naruto pays for his own dish.  Sasuke pays for Sakura’s.

Hope rises in her heart once more.

“If you’re not busy tomorrow, you should join us at the movies!” Sakura invites.

“Oh!  I might be able to.”  She chances a glance at Naruto and he’s nodding.

He smiles.  “I’ll send you the details.  I hope you can join us.”

His warm tone makes her feel all fluttery inside.  “Okay.”

As they’re leaving, she notices Sakura giving him a light punch on the arm, and they’re elbowing each other in a friendly way.  He turns, catching her stare, and he gives her the cutest smile, yet.

“I hope you can join us.”   His words replay in her mind even after they’ve left the cafe.

She might be jumping to conclusions…she may be making wild assumptions…but she thinks… She thinks that maybe…she was just invited to something like a double-date.

To Naruto’s message with the movie details, she replies, “I can come.  Thank you for inviting me!”

“Great!  See you tomorrow!”

“See you tomorrow :)”

-

Thanks to Sakura and Sasuke’s cooperation, he’s been able to hang out with Hinata this weekend.  It turns out that Hinata enjoys anime, too, and she had been wanting to see this live-action adaptation.

And now that the movie is over, the couple is pretending they have to leave, and he’ll be able to ask her out on a real date.

“Thank you for coming out with us today, Hinata!  Sasuke-kun and I have to go, so we can’t have dinner with you guys, but this was really fun!”  Maybe Sakura should be trying to be an actor instead of a doctor.

“Thank you for inviting me.  The movie was really good.”  Hinata is picture-perfect polite and soft-spoken as usual.

“It was fun.  See you guys.”  Even Sasuke is approving of Hinata, having commented after the maid cafe that she’s not annoyingly try-hard cutesy the way he worried she would be.

“See you guys later!  Thanks for coming out!”  He bids goodbye to his childhood friends and turns to face Hinata.

She turns a shy smile up at him.

“So…would you like to get dinner with me?”

“Okay,” she agrees quietly, smiling, and the hyper-awareness surrounding them in their new solitude is too much for him.

He decides to just address it, and with adrenaline running smooth in his veins, he asks, “Can we call it a date?”

Her eyes widen, her cheeks pinken, and she nods with a bigger smile.  “Yes, I’d like that.”

He finds himself mirroring her expression.  “Alright,” he cheers.  “Anywhere you want to go?”

“Mmm… how about we just walk around to look first?”

“Sure!”

He’s glad he happened to find out about her part-time job.  Because, to be honest, he thinks he wouldn’t have thought they might be a good match.  He wouldn’t have known she’s more than just a pretty face and a nice attitude.  He would’ve been content to exist as her classmate-friend, just a friendly face in their literature class.

He wouldn’t have found out that she’d like a date with him, too.

And now, he can’t help but wonder what other unexpected miracles await him with her.

[lifewithchronicpain]

So I didn’t really talk about this because it was such an ordeal and I wanted to focus on the eclipse, but holy fucking shit my sister was a fucking monster the entire time.

My sister keeps stopping and starting cigarettes and is the absolute worst when withdrawing. And I should note, even when she’s not she’s a handful. She dominates every conversation and has been taking out a lot of her frustrations of motherhood out on my mom, which I am not okay with. We had issues in childhood but my father was equally if not more to blame but my sister only focuses on my mom. It sucks, I’m closer to my mom than my dad. My dad has never changed and continues to drink, my mom is sober and has made changes my dad never would. Plus I don’t need traumatizing shit brought up again, I got passed it and I don’t need reminders. And I don’t mean to trivialize my sisters issues, I just don’t agree how she’s handling it. She’s taking shit out on my mom and she just takes it because she desperately doesn’t want to be cut off from her grandkids.

So yeah, all that is 100X worse when she’s going through nicotine withdrawal. And once again, I am sympathetic. I finally quit 4 years ago and it was only possible with chantix.

Part of the problem was apparently my sister thought her house was in totality despite me saying many times it was close but not in it, and that I thought finding a playground in VT to take the kids to and watch it. I swear I thought she understood the plan was to go into VT or NH and to solidify the plans the night before depending on traffic reports. And it was good we did, one newscaster said it would probably be better to go to upstate New Hampshire than to head into a VT town, and so we changed the plan and went NH.

We decided on a place to head to, but my sister kept on bringing up that she wasn’t told, lecturing me on communication. I wanted to scream at her that communication also means fucking listening!!!! I think part of the reason she didn’t understand was she doesn’t really listen and is always thinking of the next thing to say. She does it all the time. She kept lambasting me about not having a plan when I Can’t Make Decisions for People Who Are Driving. Which was for the best, we didn’t go where I thought we might and we avoided most of the traffic and enjoyed the eclipse in a small town at a construction area they were letting people park it. (We even found a playground to take the kids after totality)

The eclipse itself was amazing and she was so happy to have seen it but still couldn’t let go of feeling like she wasn’t told. And like, I probably should have touched base right before coming, but I was kind of distracted with Brad so I didn’t. But I couldn’t even make that concession with how fucking horrible she was being. If she was normal, I could have said that and it would be that. But I wasn’t going to say it when I knew she was in a mood to argue and Anything I say will be taken the wrong way.

For example when I told her I always said her house was “near totality” she said “I don’t know what that means!” Okay so I’m guilty of not reading your mind and seeing you didn’t understand me? Most people when they don’t understand Ask fucking questions!

And then on the way there she’s flipping out over a truck slowing down at turns and hills because it clearly had a heavy load. And then she screams he’s just going 30mph as I watch a 30mph sign pass by. We weren’t in traffic, we made it to the path of totality with time to spare. It was ridiculous how mad she was at a truck that didn’t slow us down.

My mom was back in NH the other day and she confronted her about her smoking. The probablem is every time she goes to my aunts house, she bums cigs from my cousin. And then we have to deal with the withdrawal. She says it was a good talk, hopefully something was able to get through. Because as hard as it is on us, it’s worse for the kids.

Please understand I’m not judging struggling with addiction, it’s the fact that we’ve been subjected to these withdrawals more than once. One time she even smashed my mom’s kitchen chair. Another time she threw my mom’s luggage out right when she arrived because my mom didn’t greet her right. We can’t do it anymore, either she smokes or doesn’t, we can take this stopping and starting. It is fucking hell.

To top it off, she put me through so much stress I got migraines when we got back home. I don’t get very painful migraines like that anymore, usually they’re weak visual ones these days. But I was literally holding my body tense trying not to flip out on my sister and make it worse.

Time will help me forget how aweful my sister was during the eclipse, and all I will really remember is the beautiful event itself.

[forabeatofadrum]

Hello and it is the last Sunday of February. Wild. Thanks @you-remind-me-of-the-babe​, @thnxforknowingme​ and @cerriddwenluna​ for the tags. I was actually going to do one of thoe “nothing to share ¯\_(ツ)_/¯” ones, since I have nothing to share apart from my thesis (lol). I mean, I handed in a draft Friday but yesterday I was too busy going to Amsterdam, seeing Dan Howell and meeting @justgleekout​!

But today I did the Fic Line guessing game and I lost three times, which means three new WIPs! Have 2 sentences of each, so that there are 6 sentences.

For @1908jmd​, a Klaine in the Netherlands fic. Kedeng, kedeng, choo choo, I guess. Look, I just watched Abigail Thorn’s amazing video on the NHS and trans healthcare and she had a lot of very poignant things to say about systematic inequality BUT it was also a weird way to learn that other countries do not have double decker trains, so it’s going to be Klaine travelling through the country by train.

“Okay, so we need these blue cards to check in, right?” Kurt asks while inspecting the so-called OV chipkaart.

“Yes, and this online guide also says we need to make sure we check in with the right train provider or whatever it’s called,” Blaine reads from his phone.

For @cerriddwenluna​, I picked the diner prompt, where Blaine always sits in Kurt’s section of the diner, but one day he looks very upset and Kurt gives him free dessert.

“Eyebrows looks sad.”

“Do not call him Eyebrows, Santana!” Kurt hisses, but his friend is right, because the attractive guy with the triangle shaped eyebrows looks like he’s been crying.

And for @quizasvivamos​... Klaine and Broadway. Not gonna lie, Beth, I am not sure what to do for this one yet. Might bring back The Street, because I am me, but yeah I did rewatch Bernadette Banner’s video on how Broadway costumes are made.

“Are you... sure?”

“Yes, Kurt, he was very clear that he wanted a bow tie in his costume.”

When will these be finished? Who knows! Hopefully soon, though, so that Jen, Gwen and Beth don’t have to wait for long. They’re not going to be super long (famous last words?) and I might also post them to AO3 as one entry and then it’s be my 69th work in the Glee fandom, so, uh, nice!

By the way, feel free to send me more asks with lines ;)

And now, the weather: @quizasvivamos @blurglesmurfklaine @coffeegleek @esperantoauthor @otherworldsivelivedin @caramelcoffeeaddict @sillyunicorn @bazzybelle @dragoneggos @raenestee @tectonicduck @nightimedreamersworld @urban-sith @captain-aralias @takitalks @justgleekout @tea-brigade @ivelovedhimthroughworse @moodandmist @whogaveyoupermission @bookish-bogwitch @confused-bi-queer @aroace-genderfluid-sheep @ionlydrinkhotwater @1908jmd @special-bc-ur-part-of-it @larkral @chen-chen-chen-again-chen​ @cutestkilla​ @nausikaaa​/@wellbelesbian​ @artsyunderstudy​ @martsonmars​ @facewithoutheart​ @boyinjeans

[honeybeecomebuzzingme]

So I keep forgetting to reply to my friends again and I keep forgetting to send this important letter. I really need to send it and it's been nearly a month since I was supposed to send it. Every time I go to start organising the things for sending my dad does something and he's like "this is more important and this is more urgent" to the point that I feel like I can't sleep.

It's really stressing me that he can't understand. I thought we'd gone to an agreement the other day but then as soon as my best friend went home the misunderstanding with my dad happens again.

Things like yesterday is like so confusing.

So in the morning I'd asked my dad if he could help me with "the 30 minute Friday focus" which was deep cleaning the bathroom floor. Essentially, scrubbing the grout and limescale in the bathroom.

I tried to phrase it in a way that it would be a good thing because if we're getting the shower replaced then they won't have any excuse not to do it. "Get rid of the spiders" and things like that seemed simple tasks.

However, my dad misunderstood again.

Then around 2:00 p.m. I started being sick so I got really frustrated with my dad as I wasn't able to get to the bathroom quick enough. I was sick on the bathroom floor.

Trying to get into understand that being sick on the bathroom floor meant that the bathroom floor needed cleaned more urgently. As it wasn't cleaned quickly the smell or something made me sick again.

Then I texted my dad multiple times feeling extremely distressed as I wasn't sure what had made me sick initially but he didn't understand when I was talking to him so I tried explaining in a text message.

I also wondered if I might have food poisoning which had come up in previous days where I've talked about allergies and cross contamination in the kitchen and general hygiene and cleanliness around the house especially in places where food is prepared. Especially deadly allergies.

Which leads me onto talking about my bestie who is amazing and wonderful and all of my best friends are lovely amazing people. My friends empower me and motivate me and they encouraged me to call the doctor when I burned my hand.

They comforted me, acknowledged my distress at being sick, and later burning my hand, as well as the shock and the anxiety about calling for medical advice.

I think being sick makes me more sick if it's not cleaned up right away which makes sense as a lot of people do feel sick when they see someone else be sick.

What is sad is that I couldn't get to the point of asking about the sickness to NHS 24 and I'm flummoxed that it didn't come up that maybe my hand is white because I am white? And also it felt silly to go to A&E at 10 maybe 11 o'clock at night on a Friday night when they are most busy.

I'm paranoid that people will say that it was ridiculous that I went to the hospital for my finger and would be accused of wasting their time by the staff there.

I'm probably overthinking that part a lot even though my friends encouraged me to contact someone for medical advice and said "if you need to go to A&E then you need to go to A&E. It's ok" which is such good validation! I love how my friends encourage me to look after myself, to self-care and use positive affirmations.

Even the NHS person I spoke to after I was triggered said that for the future I should remember if I'm told to go to the hospital, especially by a medical professional, then I need to go to the hospital.

I need to stop listening to my dad and start accepting the support and reassurance of others. My dad might think that it's okay for vomit to sit on the bathroom floor for 4 to 10 hours and not understand that the smell of rotten and mouldy food cannot be covered up by air fresheners (I swiftly realised I am allergic to when I immediately had stinging hives).

Like he doesn't smell it anyway and all I'm trying to say is sanitizing and disinfecting surfaces.

I bought a sink unblocker from Tesco and I think was where the smell was coming from but you can't put air freshener down the sink that's not what I meant at all....

As I've been sick in the sink in both the bathroom and the kitchen -- there's been multiple times where I've not been able to get there in time and the sink in both rooms is closer than the toilet or the sick buckets (my dad used to come running into my room whenever I was sick).

It confuses me so my dad would rather I'd be sick on the wall or the carpet or the floor of the bathroom instead of being able to go to the bathroom to be sick privately in some more appropriate way?

I feel like he made the assumption that my friend would help me with being sick while he was away but I texted him so much about all these things and it just goes round in my head when I'm trying to sleep right now.

If my dad could just stop not make the wrong thing urgent that would help a lot.

It takes me back to a story that I tell from when I was younger on the day of 9/11 I remember I watched the events on television with a sprained wrist as I had to wait four hours for my Dad to come home to take me to the hospital. I'm glad that back then even I had good friends.

However I wish that my dad could have just come home that much earlier and taken me to hospital as it's things like that I remember as trauma to be honest.

Whenever I need to go to the hospital I always worry "oh no I need to wait four hours" because that's the appropriate amount of time according to my dad and older people like that who judged me for needing to go to the hospital....

I think my dad's family are quite toxic if that's the case because I do feel like this side of it comes from my dad's family more than it has ever done my mum's family or any of my true true friends.

All of my friends and partners have always been exceptionally helpful and supportive when it comes to me trying to get help for my physical and mental health.

It's surprising how little the older generation seems to be able to understand when it comes to how we can advocate for ourselves and our parents, men specifically, and when I say this I mean advocating for a whole lot of things not just "women issues" for example being able to say that I've been sick and I need help. I shouldn't feel bad that I needed to ask for help and maybe that counts as an emergency and it's okay to ask for help.

My dad is wrong to think that all of these other things like laundry and putting things in the way of what he wants me to do or what I need to do is more important than my mental or physical health.

I wish my dad would stop doing what he's doing and just let me live my life...

I love all my friends. Thank you for reading

[jaimebluesq]

Excellent! Let's see if I can get you a good cross-current of fics and authors - and many of us are here on Tumblr too and all too happy to chat about our favourite boy ;) If any of the AO3 links don't work for you, it may be because some authors have locked their fics to only be read by people logged into AO3.

(And if any of my followers would like to add any I've missed, please feel free to do so!)

First, I will set modesty aside for a moment and toot my own horn - I'm @jaimebluesq here on Tumblr and JaimeBlue on AO3, and the vast majority of the fics I write have NHS as a major player. I write a handful of ships (GenFic, NHS/JC, NHS/JGY, NHS/NZH, and many others), and also love to explore NHS' relationship with his brother and his sect! Recommendations: Winning the Game (A 'missing scene' fic from CQL - what happened to NHS after he fainted at the Qishan indoctrination camp - very angsty), It Was You All Along (Post-canon SangCheng, one of my best-received fics), I'll Carry Your Load (5+1+1 format NHS/NZH - Nie Zonghui, Fatal Journey spoilers), and for some crack with SangYao on the side, The Nie Sect Murder Tortoises (A series of fics where NHS can domesticate the Tortoise of Slaughter because he has a spiritual tortoise at home that's a xuanwu, and there are babies/hatchlings, and Jin Zixun gets a garden!).

*Ahem* </horn-tooting>

So on the SangCheng side of things (Nie Huaisang paired with Jiang Cheng, a combination few of us can resist), we have: @roseclaw on Tumblr and here on AO3 - recommendations, Drowned are the Pharoahs (modern-ish day AU where NHS works in Egypt and JC is an Egyptologist come to do some excavating - they do TONS of great modern and other day AUs) and the Big Bad Wolf series (the Nie are werewolves and JC has to deal, modern day AU, hilarious!) @gekidasa on Tumblr and here on AO3 - recommendation, Heart Opening Flow (modern day AU, the boys meet in a yoga class).

For the XiSang shippers (NHS & Lan Xichen), I'm not a huge reader so I can't make many recommendations, but I know @ibijau is quite prolific and enthusiastic about the ship and they're here on AO3.

Someone else I adore is @fortune-maiden - here on AO3 - who writes some amazing fic featuring the Nie Bros, and like me has a soft spot for Jin Zixuan. Recommendation: The Mustache (NHS grows a moustache to unsettle JGY in the years after NMJ died).

For SangYao (NHS/Meng Yao or JGY depending upon canon, time period, and what NHS thinks of him in a given situation lol), we have @thebiscuiteternal - here on AO3 - recommendation: It Feels a Lot Like Fear (NHS held by Qishan while Meng Yao works for WRH, lots of feels)

And last but not least, the lovely person who has worked overtime to help make WangSang a thing (NHS/Lan Wangji - rarepairs are so hard to keep going sometimes, especially when one of them is part of the fandom's primary ship), @daily-wangsang which last I knew was run by the wonderful MarsDiogenes here on AO3 - recommendations: (not quite) Old Enough (canon-era, baby WangSang friendship!!!) and Paperbark (modern day AU with horticulturalist NHS, I loved this so much!).

This is just a tip of the iceberg - it would be impossible to recommend everyone I love and have enjoyed, but I think it's a great starting point. I hope this helps!

Happy reading :D

Hiiii any chance someone can recommend a good nie huaisang centered fic to me?! Or one he plays a pretty large role in? Any rating!

[tamelee]

Hiii🥰

I love your arts soo much 😍 they're so beautiful and pretty amazing 😭😍🤒✨ keep up the great work! 💪🌟

I wanna share you one of my precious memories of SnS😩 a month ago me and my brother(who is literally 14) watching naruto's first episode (the episode when sasuke saved naruto from haku, zabuza arc) when sasuke was hugged by naruto my brother suddenly said : are they ganna kiss?! Are they gays?!) lol that was precious!! Even my brother who saw naruto (those episodes) for first time he realized that they are have feelings for each other (mostly not like brotherly)!! and I'm just wondering, how sasusaku fans see them as brothers? Can't they see sns love?

Also when I argue with some ss fans they call me stupid (because I don't have same opinion as them) and they tell me ss relationships is love_hated love story... And I just wonder did I read naruto's manga wrong?? Also when I ask them where sasuke and sakura kissed they only mention sasuke retsuden... (no problem because they don't have any Source better than this shitty novel😂 because koshimato kill sasusaku in manga😂) they also make fun of me because I said sakura's love can't give sasuke butterfly they think I'm stupid and butterfly word don't used for love.... Anyway I have a question, (or a request :)) could you please post more sns analysis? 😩✨💜 Thank you so much and sorry for my bad English 💕💫

Hiii @nancy-8140 !!! 🥰♡

Ahhwww what a sweet message!! ( ˘͈ ᵕ ˘͈♡)

Thankyou thankyouuuu!! Will do my best my very bestestt 💕💕!~ 

“Are they gays?” 😭 Precious sweet child, yes!!! Lol! But honestly everyone that I force into watching Naruto for me so that I can whine for days about Sasuke and Naruto all over again.. especially about this arc ;___; all (I'm not kidding) agree that they should be together.. even the hardcore dudebro’s. Though most of them live here.. that might be a little different.. (?) No one (yes even dudebro’s) understands NH/SS one bit, it’s so ridiculous. 

��Also when I ask them where sasuke and sakura kissed they only mention sasuke retsuden...”

Wait wait, first this.. 

I SEE THIS SO MANY TIMES!! Also mentioned in SS posts, but uh.. did SS-shippers not even read the damn novel themselves?! 😂 They can’t even get their own shitty non canon material right and spread such bullshit around. They don’t even kiss in Sasuke Retsuden.. LMAO. I’m sorry but every time I see a SS-shipper proudly gushing over SS kissing in Sasuke Retsuden I can’t help but snicker. At least get your (they, not you) facts straight and mention the right novel. 

 “and I'm just wondering, how sasusaku fans see them as brothers? Can't they see sns love?”

(I'm talking about a particular type of shipper only:)

Of course they do!!!!!!!!! 

Why do you think they are defending it so viciously as they do with the same bullshit arguments over and over again that have been successfully confronted with counterarguments which included canon source material many times before? 

“They’re BrOthErs” It’s all they have and they hold onto it until their hands bleed, because if not, then what is left of their ship? At least with such a statement, as false as it is, they can head-canon their way towards some sort of validation to make SS happen. Well.. if you include non-canon material.. like uh.. novels and such 😂

If SNS “are brothers” then it “should technically” mean that Sasuke is a “free man”. Lmao. And then they put him back in prison 🤡 (Retsuden.)

There is no point arguing with any of them, they wear rose colored glasses and have their noses so deep stuck into their databooks, interviews and novels that I doubt they’d even take a glance at the manga material you’d try to show if you’d try. Unless you wanna talk about the “eyesmex” panel there’s no chance. 

ss relationships is love_hated love story...

Right. 

Lemme guess, it’s something along the lines of “Sasuke is Tsundere and couldn’t accept Sakura’s love for him, because he was too focussed on his revenge. All the times he called her annoying or was indifferent towards her and her life was because of.. ~love!”

The opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference. He never hated Sakura, he didn’t care for her. 

Ouch. 

“they also make fun of me because I said sakura's love can't give sasuke butterfly they think I'm stupid and butterfly word don't used for love”

Aye, you’re not “stupid”, I’m sorry you’ve been called that so many times. I hope you can remember that this is only, because people value different things and when it comes to love or relationship dynamics.. well- it’s quite obvious isn’t it? 

I can’t really say that they aren’t allowed to “make fun of” or shouldn’t say anything, because that’d be a little hypocritical of me. I do analysis sure, but my way of coping with bullshit is by making fun of it at times too.. however if they come at you personally and it affects you it really isn’t worth it. Just be wary of that please. Besides, what does that even mean then? Sasuke is in love with Sakura, but doesn’t have to “feel” that love then? Isn’t “having butterflies” a normal expression for that? Meh. Don’t mind it, I read a lot of their essays and it has given me more headaches then I can count.

Wbu Sasuke?

 

“Anyway I have a question, (or a request :)) could you please post more sns analysis? 😩✨💜”

I have many fun ones coming!! 🥰♡ 

Hope you 🧡🧡 and your precious, sweet, little, wonderful brother are doing well! 

[plan-d-to-i]

(google translate again, yeah)

(I forgot to thank you for the last answer, I really didn't know that the drama used the music of my compatriot, it was a pleasant surprise for me)

I don't know if anyone has asked you this before, but do you think JC was good with WWX as a kid?

I mean not just their childhood, but the time of their training in Gusu.

I really love JC, and I understand perfectly well that he is the most dick in character, but I love him precisely during my studies at Gusu, I can not give any arguments that then JC was directly GOOD to WWX, but he is clearly cared a little about him and even ... worried? at least that moment after the punishment where JC helped WWX get to the room...

Yay - I'm so happy to hear about Stravinsky :)

Hahah loving jc as the dick that he is is the way to do it! go for it. :) also, sorry this was so delayed I wanted to reread the Cloud Recesses arc so it would be fresh in my mind before answering.

In terms of jc the Cloud Recesses arc is perhaps the most 'mellow' we see him aside from the Lotus Pod Extra but for me it's still impossible to find him a worthwhile person. I can already see the faults in his character that I know will only get worse as he grows older. Canonically I don't see how he would have any friends studying in the Cloud Recesses if he didn't come as a package deal w Wei Wuxian. I mean I doubt jiang cheng would have any friends without WWX period. In fact jiang cheng doesn't make any friends over the course of 13 years. He's also unable to find a wife bc of his temperament and behavior...

What we can glean about their relationship in the Cloud Recesses arc (and even the Lotus Pod Extra) is that any time WWX gets a kind word or understanding from someone, jiang cheng scoffs at it. Any time someone shits on WWX, jc is there to agree, to relish the idea of WWX being punished, and shit on him some more. He would be an immensely exhausting person to be around. He doesnt believe in WWX's ideas and ingenuity, (as NHS does for example), he doesn't believe WWX is hurt, he always assumes the worst of him, he doesn't believe LWJ might like WWX. The only thing he ever seems to believe is that WWX will dishonor YunmengJiang and that WWX should be punished. So for a kid who supposedly wants his father's approval so badly he instead constantly acts like his mother's mouthpiece/minion. He reprimands WWX like he's trying to become Madam Yu 2.0. I see jc stans all the time being like oh he had to keep WWX in check bc WWX was such a lOOooose canon, for the good of the Clan!! lol listen JFM didn't give a f...about WWX's behavior (in his letter to LQR) why are you so concerned? JFM would have preferred for jc to try & save his peers in the Xuanwu cave or at least to understand why that was the correct course of action rather than for him to just sit in front of the class in the Cloud Recesses and tell WWX off for giving LQR as good as he got, while actually still breaking the rules himself but eschewing punishment.

salt up here, quotes below :

Even when Nie Huaisang picks up on the fact that WWX is being treated unfairly by LQR, jc dismisses it and piles on WWX instead.

Nie Huaisang said, “Old Man Lan really seems like he’s coming down especially harshly on you. Every time he reprimands someone, it’s always you.” Jiang Cheng grunted. “He deserves it. What kind of answer was that? He can get away with saying that sort of nonsense at home, but he had the nerve to say it to Lan Qiren’s face. He was practically asking for the old man to kill him!”

But does WWX get away with ANYTHING in Lotus Pier? When we know he is punished constantly for EVERYTHING? This is jiang cheng fully being his mother's mouth piece. It's not something WWX would get away with, it's something jc knows JFM wouldn't mind. Which is why he's so pissed off. Which begs the question if JFM would not be upset with WWX's behavior why does jc need to criticize him? Again :

A dark expression shadowed Jiang Cheng’s face, and his voice was filled with anger. “Why are you so proud of yourself? What is there to be proud of?! Is being told to get out some amazing accomplishment? You’re making our entire clan lose face!”

and his glee at the idea that WWX will be punished leaves a bad taste in one's mouth considering how WWX was perpetually punished in Lotus Pier by jiang cheng's mother for... existing.

Jiang Cheng smiled grimly. “Now that you’ve thoroughly offended both Lan Wangji and Lan Qiren, you’re basically dead tomorrow. No one’s going to clean up your corpse either.”

and again

Without the old one, only the young one remained. This would be easy to deal with! Wei Wuxian rolled off the bed and laughed while putting on his boots. “Heaven’s charmed clouds are blessing me with shade.” Jiang Cheng was beside him polishing his sword with loving care when he decided to spill cold water over Wei Wuxian’s head. “Just wait until he gets back. You can’t escape punishment.”

Where others like NHS see value in WWX's thoughts

Nie Huaisang thought for a while. “Actually, I thought what you said was very interesting,” he said, not entirely able to hide his envy and yearning.

jc is always dismissive of WWX's ideas. These are inventions that WWX realizes. Demonic cultivation in the first conversation and The Spirit-Attraction Flag and The Compass of Evil in the second:

“Enough,” Jiang Cheng warned. “Whatever nonsense you spout, you better not head down that sort of dark road.”

-

Changing the topic, Wei Wuxian said, “If only there was something like fishing bait that could draw the water ghosts in. Or, something that could point in the direction they’re hiding, like a compass, that sort of thing.”

“Lower your head and watch the water,” Jiang Cheng said. “You’re letting your fantasies run wild again. Concentrate on looking for water ghosts like you’re supposed to.”

“Hey, mounting swords and flying was also only a fantasy once!” Wei Wuxian said.

He's also a hypocrite. Because even though he berates WWX for misbehaving, he himself breaks the rules. He drinks, he even goads WWX into buying liquor, the only difference is that he doesn't get punished for it, and he doesn't feel like coming forward and getting punished for it :

Naturally, Jiang Cheng was too embarrassed to talk about what Wei Wuxian had been up to. After all, all of them had egged him on to go and buy alcohol, and they all deserved to be punished as well. He could only speak vaguely. “It’s nothing. It’s nothing. It’s not that bad! He can walk. Wei Wuxian, why haven’t you gotten off yet?”

It's no wonder WWX is so impressed by LWJ's integrity in spite of his social status, when he's clearly used to the other dynamic :

“Lan Zhan, I really admire you,” Wei Wuxian said sincerely. “After I told you that you had to punish yourself too, you actually did it. You didn’t let yourself off at all. I can’t argue against that.”

A dynamic which is shown repeating in the Lotus Pod Extra where WWX is the only one to get punished for sunbathing, and which repeats here when Wei Wuxian here stops jiang cheng from confronting Zixuan over YanLi's honor (and jc's) and does it himself.

Zixuan :“Why don’t you ask what about her could make me satisfied?” he said in return.

Suddenly, Jiang Cheng rose. Wei Wuxian pushed him away and stepped between them, smiling coldly. “You think you’re very satisfactory? As though you have the right to be so picky!”

Zixuan: “If she’s unhappy, then let her break off the engagement! I certainly don’t cherish your wonderful disciple-sister. If you cherish her so much, why don’t you take it up with your father? Doesn’t he love you more than his own son?”

After hearing the last sentence, Jiang Cheng’s eyes narrowed, and Wei Wuxian was no longer able to contain his own fury. He flew at Jin Zixuan, his fist raised.

WWX takes the punishment alone. Same way he offers to do when he hurts himself falling from a tree because jc threatened him with dogs. meanwhile jc is gleeful to see him being punished.

[Wei Wuxian] was kneeling on the stretch of pebble road to which Lan Qiren had assigned him when Jiang Cheng walked over from afar and mocked him. “You’re kneeling so obediently.”

“It’s not like you don’t know I have to do this all the time.” Wei Wuxian’s voice filled with schadenfreude. “But this Jin Zixuan guy, there’s no way he hasn’t been pampered and spoiled rotten since birth. No one’s ever forced him to kneel, I’m sure of it. If he doesn’t wind up crying for mommy and daddy today, I’m not named Wei.”....

Wei Wuxian "...It’s a good thing you didn’t do anything.”

“I was going to. If you hadn’t pushed me away, the other side of Jin Zixuan’s face would be hideous too.”

“Stop it. His face is uglier for being lopsided."

WWX is happy to have spared jc from getting into trouble but jc makes the whole thing about himself anyway (like everything else ever) and is upset JFM would rush over for WWX - in his mind. Even though JFM clearly had to rush over to meet with Jin Guangshan not to coddle WWX in any way.

"Jiang Fengmian had never rushed to another clan in less than a day because of him. Regardless of whether what happened was big or small, or good or bad." Never

WWX on the other hand tries to be observant of jc's feelings and reassure him & distract him from his moods :

When Wei Wuxian saw Jiang Cheng’s melancholy expression, he thought he was still upset with what Jin Zixuan said. “You should leave. You don’t need to keep me company any longer. If Lan Wangji comes again, he’ll catch you. If you have time, you should find Jin Zixuan and watch his pitiful kneeling.”

Later in the book after nearly dying in the Xuanwu cave WWX leaves his sick bed to run after jc and comfort him after his mother's rant, even though WWX had to listen to his parents (and himself) being slandered by YZY. jc doesn't spare any thoughts for how other people might be feeling or suffering. His entire perception of the world is centered around himself. To him even WWX's greatest fear doesn't generate empathy, only amusement or later on a form of torture.

From that point onward, they made trouble everywhere together, and if they encountered a dog, Jiang Cheng would always chase it away for him, then enjoy a peal of derisive, unbridled laughter at Wei Wuxian’s expense beneath whichever tree the boy had leapt atop.

he grew up on the streets, often having to fight for food with vicious dogs. After several bites and chases, he gradually became extremely scared of all dogs, no matter the size. Jiang Cheng laughed at him because of this quite a lot of times.

This brings me to the last point. jc's resentment of WWX's interest in Lan Zhan, or in a serious friendship outside of him. I see so many ppl say that bc WWX fought he was kicked out of the Cloud Recesses early... but was he?

Jiang Cheng was somewhat taken aback. “Lan Wangji? What was he doing here? He still has the nerve to come see you again?”

“Yeah, I think his bravery is laudable if he still has the nerve to come see me. His uncle probably told him to check on me and see if I was kneeling properly.”

Jiang Cheng’s instincts were sending him ominous signals. “So were you kneeling properly?”

“I was then,” Wei Wuxian replied. “But I waited for him to walk away a bit, then took a tree branch, lowered my head, and dug out a hole in the dirt near me. It’s the pile right by your foot—there are ant tunnels there. It took me so much effort to find them. Anyway, I waited for him to turn back and see my shoulders shaking. He had to have thought I was crying, so he came back and asked. You should have seen his face when he caught sight of the ant tunnels!

“…” Jiang Cheng said, “Why don’t you just get the hell out and go back to Yunmeng? I bet he never wants to see you again.”

Thus, that evening, Wei Wuxian packed up his things, got the hell out, and went back to Yunmeng with Jiang Fengmian.

Repeatedly throught his stay in the Cloud Recesses even while NHS was observing that LWJ's behavior around WWX was strange and unique, jc was telling WWX he is hated and bothersome. When WWX wanted to apologize to LWJ jc is completely dismissive of it :

“He hates me already? I was thinking of apologizing to him,” Wei Wuxian said.

“Oh, so you want to apologize now? It’s too late!” Jiang Cheng said derisively. “He’s exactly like his uncle. He thinks you’ve been wicked ever since you were an embryo, so it’s beneath his dignity to pay you any attention.”

Later on when WWX mentioned wanting to invite LWJ to Lotus Pier jc categorically says no.

“Jiang Cheng had on a stern expression, “Let’s make this clear. I don’t want him to come, anyhow. Don’t invite him.”

BONUS

jc also always doubts WWX. He suspects him immediately of wrongdoings. He doesn't believe that getting hit with the discipline ruler in Cloud Recesses actually hurt him until LXC confirms that WWX might take more than a few days to heal. He doesn't understand WWX is in actual trouble from the Waterborne abyss and assumes he's fooling around luckily Lan Zhan is there to rescue him:

The disciple’s lower body had already been swallowed by the black whirlpool. It spun faster and faster, and he continued to sink deeper and deeper, as though something hidden beneath the water was pulling down on his legs.

Mounted on Sandu, Jiang Cheng had risen calmly until he was about sixty meters above the whirlpool before he looked down. Filled with displeasure at what he saw, he shouted and dove down. “What are you up to now?!”

The suction force inside Lake Biling grew ever stronger. Wei Wuxian’s sword was optimized for agility, and consequently, its strength happened to fall just short, and they were nearly pulled to the surface of the lake. Wei Wuxian steadied himself and held on to Su She with both hands.

“Someone help! If I can’t pull him up soon, I’ll have to let go!” he shouted.

Suddenly, the back of Wei Wuxian’s collar tightened, and his body was lifted into the air. He twisted his neck and saw Lan Wangji holding him up with one hand.

He maintains this same mindset when he tries to whip LWJ and WWX as they're attempting to leave Lotus Pier after the ancestral hall confrontation when WWX passes out.

Is jc evil in the Cloud Recesses ? No. He's just an annoying, basic, disagreeable asshole who doesn't bring anything positive to someone like WWX. People like jc become obsessed with kind, outgoing, generous people, people who don't set boundaries on what they give and what others take in their friendships. Even though they're dependent on them for their social interactions, because who else would socialize with them willingly, they resent them in equal measure, but at the same time they wouldn't be drawn to another selfish, self centered piece of shit person like themselves.

On a personal note, even Cloud Recesses jiang cheng is someone I would exclude from any personal friend group. Friendship with him is adding a minefield of jealousies and snide comments to every interaction. Things that then others will need to compensate around because he won't compromise or empathize w issues outside of his own concerns.

Translation source : x

[akitohsworld]

Disclaimer: So thank the horny God's I'm back! Don't we all love depressive hiatuses? We do, we do. So I hope y'all like this, I love me some bratty, shady wizard boi. Am I a simp? Yes, yes I am.

Warning: NSFW, smut, humping, teasing, very light humiliation, bunny costume

Bet. (Sub!Solomon X GN!Reader)

"Mnh fuck-", Solomon took in a sharp breath when your thumb rolled over his clothed tip in a circular motion.

Your lips pursed up in a smirk. "What's wrong bunny? Having second thoughts?"

He could be so cute. Although, being a brat just seemed more fun to him most of the time (a pity, really). Not that you minded, breaking him down into obedience was one of your pleasures after all. But moments like these were also nice for a change..

"Nnh hah W-hatever ..you're talking a-hn-bout", Solomon's pants underlined his neediness even more as his hips bucked up against your palm, reacting to your cold lips pressing against his collarbone.

It had been especially cold the past few weeks...

In a few days would be Valentine's day. Then this little bet of yours would be over. And one of you would have to admit defeat and fulfill a random request, or task or it could be whatever really.

"You think I'm not capable of holding off a few weeks?", Solomon had asked rather cockily.

Your hands had stroked through his locks in a loving, contemplating way before saying: "Hmm nope."

And Solomon, being the sneaky wizard he was, came up with a bet. Declaring you to fall into temptation first.

The rules were simple: 'No orgasms until Valentine's day.'

But it was allowed to make the other fall into temptation. In fact, that's probably what made this so entertaining in the first place. It was cute, really. Solomon was so set on making you eat your words that he deliberately tried to seduce you in every way he could.

But then one day, particularly this day, you visited purgatory hall for a proposed study session with Simeon and Luke, only to find Solomon all dressed up in a nice little bunny costume, which, by the way, hugged his waist and features so tightly you decided to ultimately end this game on the spot, and show him how dead wrong he was about your motives.

You indulged him for a while, letting him straddle you at random, taking in the view when the towel just had to slip, savouring the lascivious pictures meant to tease you just enough to come to him. All of which you resisted. After all, you wanted to have fun as much as you could.

He gripped onto the soft cushion of the couch as he leaned back more, pressing his back into it.

A laugh escaped him, turning into a moan. "Y-you must ngh be pretty desperate to... pounce on me like this..."

"Hmm, I don't remember giving you a free pass to be a brat, Sol," you palmed his strained erection, grinding into it decisively, making him groan and tense up even more. Your other hand grabbed his chin, thumb sliding over his swollen bottom lip. He had been biting it to stifle the moans.

You closed in on his face, eyes following his every expression, every movement. He looked so fucked out, almost desperate, as if he wanted to be ravished right now. Hooded eyes rolling back at the skillful movement and pressure your fingers applied to his clothed cock, ragged breaths tinting the air and dishelved locks adorned by contrasting black bunny ears falling into his face. All coming together in a delicious, submissive picture. He was close to give in. You could tell.

Oh how you wanted to devour him.

But no. You'd have him at your mercy first.

You retracted your hand, eliciting a low whine from him, replacing it with your knee instead and spreading his legs apart.

"Wh-"

"My lovely, lovely bunny~," you grinded into him.

"Hah fu- mnh-", his lips parted at yours softly moving against his.

You nibbled at the softness before proceeding to grind into him once again as your tongue slid into his mouth. Gracing his in a soft but firm manner, hands embracing his neck, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss.

"Mmnh.. hah.."

Solomon bucked his hips against your leg. His cock twitching against your thigh when his hands finally grabbed onto your ass, grinding his aching member against you for more friction.

You smiled for a brief moment, revelling in the feeling of his desperate movements against your body. You had him now.

A moan pressed to your lips, your sex twitched down under but you ignored it.

You were not yet satisfied.

A string of saliva connected you both as you parted, relishing in his dishevelled appearance for a moment.

"(y/N)", he whined.

"What?", you asked breathily, when an innocent smile traced your lips, "Something the matter, bunny?"

"I..mngh", he pressed into your thigh on his own.

"Oh?", you held onto his locks, harshly pulling back, forcing him to meet your eyes, "So you want to hump my leg, is that it?"

He shot you a clouded, cocky grin. "You look very happy about that."

"Do I now?", your fingers traced his neck in a contemplating way and his breath hitched. "A leash would have fit you so well too. But oh well, bunnies don't get leashes," you traced his lips, "They work for their pleasure all on their own."

With that you sat down beside him, leaving him with a puzzled and almost disappointed expression on his face.

He just stared at you, laboured breathing leaving his lips for a moment.

His face lit up as he seemed to grasp the meaning of your words.

"So, you're still going to make me work for it?" He straddled your thigh seductively. "Even though, I'm so readily submitting like a good bunny?" His lips formed a small pout, bunny ears swaying slightly to the side.

It took everything not to laugh at his expression. How childish~.

You grabbed onto his hips.

"Humour me, Solomon."

He murmured something to the effect of 'no fair' and wasted no time pressing his clothed erection against you. The damp spot smeared against your thigh. His brows furrowed when you flexed it to give him more friction, hands guiding his hips for the same purpose.

"Fuck hah (y/N)..," he grabbed onto your shoulders, then neck.

"Hm?"

His cock twitched visibly under the fabric as your finger experimentally flicked against the tip.

"I want to mark you...mnh please (y/N)," he made sure to moan that last one out in an overerotic tone. You just rolled your eyes at him playfully. But complied with him anyway.

After all, he would be losing the bet. So why not indulge him a little bit?

Your head turned slightly while his hands grabbed onto your lower back to rub himself harder against your thigh, moaning into your neck and sucking at the skin.

A pleased sigh escaped you, which seemed to spur him on, pants becoming more and more laboured. His movements becoming more aggressive to speed up, but your hands kept guiding him in a more steady pace to drag it out a bit longer.

"(y/N) please," he begged in a daze as he gazed at you through his lashes.

"Aren't you a needy bunny~", you teased, sucking at his nape and leaving a mark, making him shudder. "Adorable."

"More hah please more," his grip on you tightened around you as he buried his face in your neck, the bunny ears tickling your cheeks.

"Hmm~ Maybe if my bunny begs a little more."

"Hah mnh please, please (y/N) let me cum," his fingers traced under your shirt, caressing the sensitive skin, making you suck in a sharp breath.

Good God, this man was so good at begging.

"Mnh.. who is my cute little bunny?"

"I ammn", you let go of his hips, and grabbed onto his ass instead as you let him rub against your thigh faster, panting growing laboured and moans and groans spilling out of his lips. "I hah..am ahh your cute little bunny-"

Solomon tensed up, clawing at your back and thrusting harder and faster against your thigh, biting back a moan, when you mindlessly rubbed and slapped his ass.

"I- mn want.. need oh-"

You pulled his head back from the crook of your neck, fingers buried in his locks. "Hm?"

"Cum hah I want to cum, please"

You smirked, holding his head in place to see his expression. "Then cum, my bunny."

He thrust hard a few more times, fingers clenching at your shoulders as he spilled loud guttural moans in praise.

"ohH hah nh- (y/N)", his lips parted as he threw his head further back, followed by his body jolting in spurts against you, something wet staining your clothed thigh. "Hah.."

As soon as you let go of his head he collapsed onto you, head resting on your shoulder and hoarse pants leaving his glistening lips.

You lovingly stroked his locks, then kissed his head. "What a good bunny. You did amazing, love."

A low chuckle vibrated through him. "The risk I took was calculated... But man am I bad at math"

You laughed. "Are you talking about the bet?"

Solomon hummed, arms snaking around your waist, readjusting his position as he relaxed against you. "I can only imagine what you'll make me do... ," he breathed out tiredly.

Your lips curled upwards in a mischievous smile. "Well for now I'll devour my cute, shady bunny~,". you pushed him down on his back, gaining a surprised gasp. "Don't tell me you didn't see that coming?"

"Wha-," his face flushed redder in surprise as he looked up at you.

"It would be a waste not to use this opportunity, don't you think?" Your hands found the hem of his clothes. "Now. Where were we...?"

[eenasbabysmom]

Wait, NMJ as a girl might be amazing? NMJ clearly SHOULD be sect leader, and NHS sees no reason his big sister shouldn't be the leader, and maybe she is? But things are more precarious, and maybe Papa Nie worked NHS harder before he died. F!NMJ trying to decide what the best way forward is for NHS and the Nie, whether she should marry out or take command

The thing is, didi is bad . . . at everything.

Didi can barely lift his saber, he's never disarmed a sparring partner, and only just recently stopped passing out cold at the end of training. Nie Huaisang is smart, curious, mischievous, and utterly unsuited to the position he holds as sect heir to Qinghe Nie. She is not being unkind when she says this; she is being realistic. Baba had poured himself into Huaisang's education and training and it yielded very little results. How utterly like her didi, to be the heir to their sect and so contrary to everything their sect stands for.

He does try, her sweet little didi. He shows up everyday to the training grounds, green eyes wide and scrawny limbs trembling in dreaded anticipation of what the day entailed. He used to try and hide from his training, squirreling his little body into hard to find hiding spots, sending the servant into a frenzy trying to locate the Nie-xiao-gonzi. He stopped after that last time, when his childish avoidance collided with one of Baba's Bad Days. Nie Mingjue had known with one look at Baba that something terrible was going to happen. Those green eyes, the same as didi's own, were lined with red and she had run to intercept the blow before it could land. She pushed Huaisang back with one hand and raised the other arm to try and block what was coming down.

It broke her arm. Baba might have done more but Shishu tackled him right after and three other disciples helped to hold Baba down while Zonghui-shidi hustled both her and Huaisang out of the throne room. Her didi wept piteously the entire time it took for the healers to reset the bones in her arm and fashion a sling to aid in healing. She tried to comfort him as best she could, pinched with pain and trembling in the aftershocks of fear.

"Be at the training grounds on time tomorrow," she advised him, wiping salty tears off his little round cheeks. Didi was so young then, barely seven; he needed more mothering than she could provide. Nie Mingjue had never been particularly maternal, more enamored of saber work and training than a young lady probably should be. But there wasn't much she wouldn't do for Huaisang, but to and including being the buffer between him and Baba's dark moods.

Huaisang will never be a strong warrior; with extensive work, he may end up being passable. His mind is second to none, easily seen by all now that he no longer hides from his studies. If there is one place where Huaisang will be acceptable as sect leader will be the quiet, administrative parts. Didi will never lead troops into battle and the idea of him going on night hunts is legitimately terrifying. In martial matters, Huaisang will never be up to the challenge.

So Nie Mingjue will be the muscle for her little brother. She builds muscle, cultivates with Baxia until her angry blade fairly bites at others, and quietly, but without opposition, takes over the martial matters of the Nie sect.

Baba's sabre turns against him the year Huaisang turns twelve. It is the doing of that Wen Ruohan, though she has no way of proving it. The less said about those months after, the better. For her didi's sake, she cleans up the explanation to the simplest means. One night, Huaisang goes to bed with an ailing father; he wakes up to the news that he and his jiejie are now orphans. Huaisang cries, because he is still a child, and Nie Mingjue buries her guilt and fears to better marshal her didi into a semblance of propriety.

Sect leaders aren't supposed to cry and clutch at their jiejie's sleeves.

Baba is buried and Huaisang is the new sect leader. Nie elders are more reasonable than most (Xichen-didi has the most frustrating and frankly horrifying tales about Lan elders-Nie Mingjue appreciates the Nie elders more and more after each one). It takes only one short session where she makes a formal request to be Huaisang's regent until his eighteenth birthday and the elders consent before she even finishes speaking.

It is not long after this news reaches the other sects that the first offer arrives. Not one elder protests when she tears the paper to pieces and neither does news of it make it to Huaisang's ears. She has more gratitude than she knows what to do with.

To Huaisang, her regency is a blessed reprieve. He begins showing up later and later to training, eventually missing full days altogether. His sabre is often left neglected in his rooms, buried under papers and paint brushes. Books litter his workplace, no longer texts related to taxations or sect history. Most are novels, some are even fairly tame. The others . . . well, Nie Mingjue is not equipped to talk to her didi about his obvious curiosity and fascination with sex. She makes Zonghui-shidi do it, and it only seems to make things worse. Also, Zonghui-shidi is unable to look Huaisang in the eyes for many months after.

She tries to push her willful, lazy didi back on track. She even asks Lan xiansheng to accept Huaisang early for the Lan guest lectures. Lan Qiren is not only the most respected teacher amongst the sects, he is also Xichen-didi's uncle. She is sure if anyone can get Huaisang back on track, it would be him.

She is so wrong.

"My ancestors are baying for my blood for this failure," she bemoans to Xichen-didi when he accompanies Huaisang back to Unclean Realm after his THIRD failure.

"Huaisang is a spirited, intelligent young man," Xichen-didi assures her, but only because he is a kind soul. His uncle is much the same, because despite the fact that she knows from the other Nie guest disciples that her shameless, useless little brother has set up a black market of illicit goods during the guest lectures at the Cloud Recesses, Lan xiansheng always welcomes Huaisang back.

"It's because he thinks he can get you to marry Xichen-ge if he continues to put up with me," Huaisang squints at her, insolent and teasing as most seventeen year old boys would be. "It might work; he's certainly tall enough to stand next to you."

Nie Mingjue is the young lady of Qinghe Nie, but she is more Qinghe Nie than young lady. Her height in inherited from their Baba, allowing her to tower over most men her age and older. The thick shoulders and muscled arms come from her training, for Nie Mingjue has neglected all of her maidenly lessons and none of her martial ones. She has no interest in embroidery and even less in marriage.

"If you fail again, I am burning all your books," she warns him, before sending him off to Gusu once again. This time she sends along a babysitter in the form of Meng Yao, a newer addition to the sect and a lifesaver in terms of all the administrative work that she had no patience for and that no one could persuade Huaisang to pick up again. Meng Yao promises to deliver Huaisang safely to Cloud Recesses and remove all contraband from his belongings before departing. She appreciates the gesture, but even as she agrees she knows it's futile. For all his uselessness, didi was a mastermind at one particular thing-and that was finding ways to collect and distribute contraband at his pleasure.

Another letter arrives while they are gone; it is the fourth one of its kind. She burns it, even as Zonghui-shidi watches with clear uneasiness.

"He's gotten worse, they say," he mutters, watching as the flames consume the paper, leaving black ashes all over her desk. "He's not letting this go."

"Are you advising me to accept?" her tone is mild, but her eyes tell the truth of her anger. Baxia rattles agitatedly in her sheath, which Zonghui-shidi rather bravely rolls his eyes at.

"I'm telling you this is going to get worse," her shidi shrugs, unconcerned with her darkening mood. "I realize you don't need me to tell you that, but I think we should probably start sparing some time and brain power to how we're going to respond when the Chief Cultivator loses his patience and sends his son ahead with an army to capture himself a Nie wife."

"Is cutting off his son's head and sending it back to him an acceptable plan?"

"I think it's wishful thinking, not a plan. The Wen are becoming bolder; remember your father, shijie. Wen Ruohan might be mad, but he's still deadly."

Baxia rattles again and she swallows the reflexive anger before her sabre decides to paint her office with her shidi's blood. Taking over as her brother's regent had not done wonders for her temperament and Wen Ruohan's constant demands for her to marry one of his idiot sons didn't help.

"They'll have to come take the Unclean Realm first," she swears, still angry and sliding into bitterness. Zonghui locks eyes with her, and does her the benefit of not stating the obvious.

[featherfur]

Meng Yao should have been around when Jiang Cheng was running around with his head cut off trying to make disciples out of rogues and convince everyone to get started on the war. I just think he’d see this, probably manic, idiot who needs help and is 100% willing to be bossed around and who really doesn’t care about Meng Yao station in life because he’s just fucking desperate and wants to die but can’t because Yanli and just go “actually I’m interested”. Because Jiang Cheng would riot if he knew Meng Yao wanted to go back to his dad, and well Jiang Cheng is very pathetic when he thinks he’s being left behind (“You’re leaving me for the Jin just like Shijie? Tears and loud words for you! Tears and loud words dor a thousand years!”)

And Meng Yao would have a spot in Lotus Pier where he is VERY clearly wanted, he probably doesn’t become sworn brothers with anyone (or LXC and NMJ realize that no one needs to give the Jin any more influence and become sworn brothers with Jiang Cheng) unless it’s Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian (unfortunately WWX will still probably be killed or hunted at the very least but atleast Qin Su is alive? Maybe having MY around will help calm JC into the fact that LWJ wants to bang his brother and help him so JC can convince WWX to let LWJ atleast play for him, then maybe WWX can accidentally let slip about him already destroying one half and LWJ can help destroy the other half… Dunno if the Wen Remnants survive either sorry, honestly I don’t know if anyone can stop JGS in the long run)

So there’s two ways this goes: (under read more I have Thoughts)

Meng Yao DOES go to the Jin Sect still because JC gets wanting your Dad’s Approval even when he’s a dick AND he protects Yanli who immediately adopted him when JC showed up to the war with him. Without being stuck between a Rock and a Hard place (sorry NMJ not everyone is a annoyingly stubborn with their morals as you and MY is being hurt :( leave him alone :(( ) MY is able to continue being pressured without breaking and even though JGS keeps trying to get him to manipulate JC, MY won’t and won’t manipulate NMJ either and every time he goes to Lotus Pier to ‘look into’ the Jiang Sect he actually just spends the week being plied with children and listening to Jiang Cheng explain the fashion industry Again and talk about silks vs cashmeres vs wool so he just gets a vacay and is more prepared to stand up against his dad.

Also JC and Yanli catch on pretty quick to Madam Jin abusing MY because they were there after Madam Yu would hurt WWX and they know the signs of trying to hide the pain and Yanli suddenly starts Show Up whenever Madam Jin tries anything because that is her Didi now and she will protect him and if anyone ELSE tries to mess with him she will rip them apart like when Jin Zixun tries to bother WWX.

JGS does eventually manage to frame something on WWX but MY intervenes immediately by telling JC the truth and without the ‘did my kinda insane PTSD ridden brother so this?” Panic thoughts JC gets his people and is waiting for the force of Jin and smaller sects, with his two sworn brothers on either side. Because yeah NMJ absolutely hates the Wen but can he really ignore LXC and JC? Plus NHS on the side? He’s only there to protect WWX, anyone else can get fucked and even then he’s only protecting WWX because JC asked him too because NMJ thinks WWX sucks for choosing the wens because he’s very much of the one track ‘the wens suck’ mind. MY pretends he has no idea what’s going on but he does summon Jin Zixuan on ‘accident’ who shows up, annoyed he had to leave his kid, and is like “are we really going to accuse Nie Mingjue, known Wen hater, of protecting Wei Wuxian and lying about his innocence? Because his sword is the same size as my body and I’d rather Not”

(okay he’s more polite and subtle but that’s the gist) somehow Jin Guangshan dies, I’m voting Yanli poisoned him because I think Meng Yao is 100% willing at this point to simply take the abuse because Jiang Cheng and Lan Xichen aren’t essentially telling him to murder his father and that he’s stupid for not holding harder to his morals (sorry NMJ,,, you just,, I love you but MY is hurting and he’s not as stabby as you) NMJ is still very much crankily telling him his dad sucks whenever they meet but Jiang Cheng gets all sparkly whenever MY is around because MY will say he’s Doing Good, so there’s only so much room before JC start just biting anyone who even looks at MY wrong. (NMJ says he’s proud of JC once and JC just starts crying and NMJ UnderstandsTM why MY won’t leave him alone)

But Yanli has to be the one to kill him because MY wouldn’t because he’s a filial son and probably hasn’t lost his hope he will be Loved, Jin Zixuan wouldn’t because he’s like the only one in the entire show not down with murder, Madam Jin is not about to give up the power and money that comes from being the wife of Jin Guangshan even if JZX would take care of her because Yanli clearly is willing to rip everyone apart who fucks with her family and unlike Jiang Cheng is willing to change the status quo, and if JGS dies on a hunt they’ll blame WWX so Yanli just poisons him slowly and he dies from ‘illness’. JZX takes power, Meng Yao is told he’s amazing twelve times a day because JZX can do busy work and argue against anyone but he cannot have a small talk conversation to save his life. Life continues peacefully, Jiang Cheng keeps kidnapping JZX’s advisor because he misses him. Meng Yao knows how to control literally every single great sect but he’s busy chasing down his nephews and helping Jiang Cheng avoid marriage offers to do anything.

Once Jin Guangshan died, LXC and MY both swooped in to have the Wen Remnants moved somewhere else to ‘civilize’ them (using LXC’s own words here) and WWX is very much caught between Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji arguing over who he’s going home with and he’s honestly never felt more Loved TM. WWX spends six months to break the rest of the tiger rally under the grumpy/watchful eye of NMJ who still isn’t happy anyone from the Wen’s is still alive but he’s weak to puppy eyes and also when he’s being strong armed by his sworn brothers, MY, and NHS (though he still keeps an eye on the actual cultivators, he’s pretty much forgotten the rest of the Wen Remnants exist he just cares about the ones who know how to use a sword). Wangxian happens, idk how I’m voting for a wild Jingyi another orphan decides that he wants to meet the Purple Angry Man and body slams into WWX’s legs trying to get to the Purple man and LWJ catches him and it’s a full on romantic moment of staring into each other’s eyes while Jiang Cheng makes disgusted noises and Meng Yao pats his hand and just tells him to accept it.

Or Meng Yao stays in Lotus Pier because Jiang Cheng has problems and Meng Yao loves a messy loudmouth aggressive bitch with a secret heart of gold. Also Jiang Cheng is the exact kind of Demi-aroace dummy to not realize Meng Yao has a crush on LXC and keeps sending him over to Cloud Recesses to help with trade or something and MY gets to hang out with his crush constantly.

MY is Jiang Cheng’s personal advisor since WWX is currently refusing to process his trauma and staying in a very traumatic place. MY does try to help but WWX doesn’t trust him and probably only half trusts him around JC, BUT MY is very good with kids and helps work with JC on how to slip WWX supplies while negotiating directly with Nie and Lan without Jin glaring over him this time, and Jin Zixuan is more than happy to help when he can because again he’s just like the only one with modern morals and wants Lotus Pier to be strong since if all the sects fall then well the fucking demons/ghosts they hunt will eat them. So WWX is slowly atleast not ready to kill him, Meng Yao finds out WWX already destroyed half the Tiger Tally and tries to get him to let NMJ and LXC help him destroy it further (because that ties the three sects closer and so WWX won’t just stab someone if someone isn’t happy about the Wen’s existing)

Yanli poisons Jin Guangshan again because I think that’s the best way for him to go, Meng Yao does grieve but also that lasts for three minutes before Jiang Cheng shows up with some children he found in Yunmeng and Meng Yao needs to explain to him again that just because the kid latches on doesn’t mean you can take them home. But with JGS out of the way it’s a lot easier to strong arm NMJ into letting the Lan take the remnants (JC and NMJ still aren’t happy about it but NMJ can’t fight the three other sects and JC is getting his brother back and he’ll take the Wen living if that means WWX is too) and WWX returns to Lotus Pier. The truth of the golden core comes out probably via WWX having a flashback or panic attack or something (or that one theory of Yanli knowing,,,) words happen, WWX storms off to find LWJ.

Meng Yao wonders why he likes messy cry babies but still helps out Jiang Cheng because they’re technically brother in laws and also because he really does care about him. Wangxian happens and now Jiang Cheng is really pissed but WWX also said he wasn’t going to just up and leave so they’re on a rotating system but honestly everyone’s just waiting for them to move permanently to Lotus Pier because Lan Wangji has this giant hole in his heart for kids who love Wei Wuxian and Lotus Pier is filled with kids who are Jiang and therefore are insane ans love WWX.

Personally I think this one is the least likely but it sounds very nice right?

[robininthelabyrinth]

Now I want the story where NMJ is half war god and NHS is half fox spirit, thank you so much xD

based on this tumblr post and Lao Nie’s decision to refer to WRH as A-Han in this one ficlet

on ao3

Nie Zonghui had long ago suspected that his Sect Leader was a madman, but he didn’t really know it for certain until the first time he lost the man while on a bodyguarding mission – his first, and a great honor. 

Supposedly.

“It’s all right,” his father said, looking long-suffering, when he reported back in distress. “He’s an adult, our sect leader, and this is a small city with no major threats in the middle of some idiosyncratic festival celebration for some goddess or another. How much damage can he really do before he sobers up?”

Nie Zonghui stared at his father, then turned to his mother, who was also staring at her husband with an expression of sincere incredulity.

“Lots,” she supplied. “Lots and lots and lots, and that’s assuming he doesn’t get himself killed in the meantime. Why would you even say that?”

“He’s our sect leader, have some respect.”

“I respect the boss bull of the herd, too, but it doesn’t mean I let it go wandering around the fields wherever it pleases!” She shook her head, snorting in a manner not entirely unlike a bull herself. “Well, if we’re very lucky, maybe our cousin will knock up a cow while he’s out and about rather than just breaking things. We could use a direct heir already; he’s not getting any younger.”

“We could use him being properly married is what we could use. I don’t understand why he’s so resistant – ah, Zonghui, you’re still here? Go gather some cultivators and go look for him, but don’t kick up any fuss, and worry too much if you can’t find him at once. He’ll be back to business soon enough.”

He was, if by “soon enough” one meant “after nearly ten days” and by “back to business” one meant “still drunk off his ass and waxing rhapsodic about some girl he met and possibly married”.

“Yes, yes, I’m sure the sun shines out of her ass,” Nie Zonghui’s father said, his face stormy. “You still could’ve told us where you went. Look what you did to poor Zonghui, he’s been wearing down his heels pacing in worry over you!”

“Oh, heels, yes, did I mention that my gorgeous goddess had amazing legs, too?” their sect leader asked with a soppy smile and stars in his eyes, totally uninterested in any of their petty complaints. “She could kill a man with them – oh, but I would die a happy man between those thighs…!”

“Zonghui, go guard the outside door,” his mother told him. “Also, tell his younger sister that she might need to be sect leader sooner than she’d hoped, because I’m going to murder this fucking –”

-

Nie Zonghui was there, too, when ten months later his new little baby cousin was (metaphorically) ditched on their doorstep.

The entire thing was entirely too dramatic for his taste, and yes, he was aware that as a person who chose to dual wield sabers he had very little room to criticize others for being overly dramatic, however correct he might be.

They had been fighting bandits – barely disguised mercenaries, really, probably paid off by the Wen sect to harass them – in what had turned into a particularly bad situation. Three separate regiments had joined together to take advantage of a terrible thunderstorm and ambush them at all once and them with their backs against a raging river, swollen with rain to the precipice of flooding, with no way to retreat except by fleeing on their sabers, abandoning the common people they were protecting and losing all face. 

The sect leader had been raging on the battlefield, saber in hand, but even he had seen that they would need to shortly choose between death and dishonor; Nie Zonghui, close by his side, had seen how his face was split with a terrible scowl as he wracked his brain for more options.

Then there had been a terrible roar of thunder, and then a flash of light that had blinded them all.

Nie Zonghui had immediately noted the anomality of it, thunder first and lightning second, and wondered it if it was some sort of array working against them, especially when the light had not faded away but grown brighter, causing searing pain in his eyes that made him fall and clutch at his face. But he was a good soldier, loyal and true, and he forced his eyes open to squint into the night, looking to see he did not know what.

Through his sun-blindness, he vaguely thought he could see a silhouette not unlike that of a woman, ten feet tall and radiant as the sun, wearing a dress of nine colors and carrying a guandao in her hand that seemed to reach the clouds, but when he blinked again he saw nothing at all.

Or, well, he did see something: all of their enemies were headless, no matter where on the battlefield they were, their bodies dropping like a loosened string of coins where they had been standing and splattering anyone they were fighting with blood as they gawped at the sudden corpses.

Also, the sect leader was suddenly holding something in his arms when he hadn’t been before.

“What’s that?” Nie Zonghui asked, and the sect leader turned towards him. Nie Zonghui squinted, and suddenly wondered if this entire battle had been a very bad dream. “…is that a baby?”

“Yes,” the sect leader said, grinning broadly. “He’s my son!”

“He’s your what,” Nie Zonghui said.

“My son! I didn’t know about him, of course – apparently he came as something of a surprise to her as well – but anyway she thought that it would be more appropriate for me to raise him, all things considered. A baby doesn’t quite fit her lifestyle. What do you think of ‘Mingjue’ as a courtesy name? Good, yes?”

Nie Zonghui suddenly understood why his parents were always cursing all the time.

-

“I don’t see why I need another wife,” the sect leader said. “I already have a son.”

“Don’t you want to give said son a mother?” Nie Zonghui’s mother asked, her arms crossed. “One that isn’t the Dark Lady of the Nine Heavens, the war goddess you somehow managed to knock up without getting killed?”

“She never specified that she was –”

“Someone needs to be Nie-furen,” the sect leader’s younger sister interrupted, “because I am sick and tired of doing the job, and it’s a little difficult to ask a goddess to do it. So you are going to find yourself another one that’s a little closer to the ground this time, you understand me?”

The sect leader nodded and agreed, which was universally agreed upon to be the only appropriate reaction when his beloved meimei said something in that particular tone of voice.

(He did, after a suitable period of time, state that he wanted to make clear that there was no actual evidence that he had knocked up Jiutian Xuannü and that it was quite plausible that the mother of his heir was nothing more than a rogue cultivator of particular strength and possibility even immortality. If Baosan Sanren had managed it, why not someone else?)

At any rate, they brought him several pictures of women that might fit the bill and who would not be too offended at being asked to be a secondary wife – their sect leader swore up and down that he had performed bows with the mother of his first son, rendering him legitimate, and anyway no one was in the mood to see if the maybe-a-goddess would take offense to someone calling her child a bastard – but none seemed to catch their sect leader’s interest.

“Consider visiting a few brothels,” Nie Zonghui’s great-uncle suggested. “Anything to get you back in the habit of thinking about women of a less divine nature – though of course we’d prefer that she be literate.”

The sect leader scowled and stalked off to go night-hunting instead.

“I don’t like brothels,” he said to Nie Zonghui as they made their way through an especially deserted mountain valley in search of something that had murdered all the local mensfolk in the surrounding villages with especial viciousness. “Surely there’s an option in between.”

Nie Zonghui preferred his sabers to either men or women, but he obediently wracked his brain to think of where people in stories and famous songs found their wives. “Innkeeper’s daughters?” he finally suggested.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” the sect leader scoffed, but the very next day, he decided to break his usual habit of staying out in the wild no matter the weather in favor of taking shelter from the encroaching storm in a small inn right at the base of an especially lonesome and nasty-looking cliff.

“We’re always happy to have guests,” the innkeeper said with a somewhat sinister smile – he was pale as a ghost in the guttering candlelight, and his lips looked very red. “My daughter will show you to your rooms.”

The daughter in question was inhumanly beautiful: small and graceful, with a fox’s face and dark hair that fell to her knees.

“Wow,” the sect leader said, staring at her. “You know, I think you could kill me with those nails of yours.”

Nie Zonghui took a look and agreed with the sentiment, seeing that her nails were as long as claws and looked just as sharp, but apparently he and the sect leader had somewhat different interpretations of this sequence of events and plans on how to address it.

Namely, Nie Zonghui pointed out that the lady was obviously some sort of yao or maybe a gui and that she was probably the one seducing the local mensfolk, draining their yang energy and then slaughtering them, and therefore that it was undoubtedly their duty as cultivators – and cultivators of the Nie sect in particular – to put an end to her vile deeds through the swift application of their sabers. Furthermore, he explained, they should take care never to allow themselves to be alone with her in the process, lest she seek to entrance them with her seductive magics and lure them to their undoubtedly violent deaths.

The sect leader’s rebuttal to this line of logic was limited to “I’m the sect leader and if I want to bang the probably-a-ghost, I’m going to bang the ghost and there’s nothing you can do to stop me”.

Amazingly enough, the sect leader did not end up dead the next day – the innkeeper looked just as surprised as Nie Zonghui felt – and instead announced, very happily, that he was planning on marrying her.

“You what,” the innkeeper said, staring at his very smug-looking ‘daughter’. In light of dawn, she was wearing a dress of many colors with a foxfur ruff, and her beauty was almost painful to behold.

“You why,” Nie Zonghui moaned.

“You shut up,” the sect leader told him. “I’ll have you know that my lady here is very clever, literate and well-learned, and she doesn’t at all mind being the second wife. Weren’t you one of the ones on my case about getting a Nie-furen to help managing things back home?”

“I didn’t think we needed to specify that the person in question didn’t murder a lot of people!”

“Isn’t his first wife supposedly a war goddess?” the lady inquired, her clever eyes dancing in amusement.

“Well…yes…”

“Also, all those men deserved it,” she said. After a brief pause, she added, “In my opinion as a totally unrelated observer, of course.”

“See?” the sect leader said, putting his arm around her waist. “No problem. Anyway, she’ll stick to killing bad people from now on, it’s fine.”

The lady smiled. There were many teeth in that smile, and they were very sharp.

“If she doesn’t, I’ll have my first wife discipline her,” the sect leader added and her smile abruptly disappeared.

Nie Zonghui coughed into his hand, but reluctantly admitted that maybe this wouldn’t turn out to be as bad as all that.

-

“Huaisang is a lovely name,” Nie Zonghui’s mother said, being the best of them at diplomacy when she put her mind to it, although admittedly it was something she did only very rarely. “I think we were just expecting something a little different, that’s all.”

“Possibly something a little more fox related,” Nie Zonghui’s father said.

“Please,” the sect leader’s second wife said. “That would be gauche.”

They looked at her.

“…all of my suggestions along those lines got rejected,” she admitted, and glared at the small shrine in the corner as if it had personally wronged her. In this context, it very well might have.

“Is there anything we should keep an eye out for?” Nie Zonghui said, watching his little cousin carry around his even littler cousin under his arm as if he were a sack of potatoes and not a baby that hadn’t yet had its first month celebration. He would have interfered but for the fact that little Nie Huaisang seemed to be notably more in control of his various limbs than the usual infant. “A tail, for instance?”

“Oh, no,” the second lady said. “Nothing like that.”

“Great,” Nie Zonghui said. “I’m glad to hear it.”

“It’s very rare for fox children to achieve a grand plot worthy of a tail in their first lifetime.” A pause. “From what I understand, that is.”

“Great,” Nie Zonghui said. “…great.”

“You’ll take good care of him when I’m gone, won’t you?” she asked, and when they all looked at her, smiled. “Not for another year or two, don’t worry, but I really can’t stay here that long. Sometimes, a girl’s got urges she has to take care of.”

“The sort of urges where we’d need to hunt down a mysteriously appearing fox yao for having murdered a lot of people?”

“I already promised to stop killing people,” she said sulkily. “Although I do think I made some plausible arguments in favor of a little bit of entirely justified murder in connection with the Jin sect and maybe the Lan sect and, oh, the Jiang sect –”

“Please don’t.”

“It’s not my fault your Great Sects are all headed by men who wrong women.”

“You’re not wrong,” Nie Zonghui’s mother said, and Nie Zonghui’s father looked alarmed. “But still, don’t.”

“You’re such spoilsports. But no, as it happens, it’s getting to that time when I need to return home for a while to pay my respects to the older generation.”

“How often does that happen?” Nie Zonghui’s father asked. “Once a century?”

“A gentleman shouldn’t ask a lady her age,” she sniffed. “At any rate, my family home is rather far away and they’re fairly insular, so I’ll probably be gone for at least a decade or so. I’d take the baby with me, but, well, you know, long travel and all. He’s better off sticking with his father.”

“All right,” Nie Zonghui’s mother said. “We understand, and we’ll help take care of him as best we can.”

“I’m glad.”

“We have only one thing to ask of you in return.”

Their second lady arched her delicate eyebrows.

Nie Zonghui’s mother smiled. “You be the one to tell your sister-in-law that you’re leaving your post.”

“…you know, on second thought, maybe I can push my departure out a few more years…”

-

“Before you say anything, I want to be clear right now that I don’t need a third wife,” their sect leader said. “I’m fine.”

“Sect Leader,” Nie Zonghui’s mother said, not unaffectionately. “You’re not allowed a third wife.”

“And therefore – wait, really?” he asked, a little skeptically. “You’re not concerned about me?”

“Oh, we’re very concerned about you,” Nie Zonghui’s father said. “But not in that specific respect. Some celibacy would probably be good for you, at least in terms of increasing your life expectancy.”

“…my sister is lying in wait with a cleaver to make sure she doesn’t have to take on the duties of Nie-furen again, isn’t she.”

“I’m not discounting that possibility, but don’t worry about it, it’s fine, we’ll talk to her. The Lan sect haven’t had a proper hostess in years either, we can just say we’re following their example.”

The sect leader eyed his cousins beadily. “They haven’t had a proper sect leader in years, either.”

“No, you don’t say,” Nie Zonghui’s mother said dryly. “What a coincidence -”

“You have two fine sons,” Nie Zonghui’s father said hastily. “That seems like enough, really.”

“You don’t think they need a mother…?”

“Sect Leader,” Nie Zonghui interjected politely. “While we admit that it may be within your capabilities to be able to find a mother willing to deal with one step-son who has been waiving around a saber taller than he is since he learned to walk and has a penchant for the unyielding, unmerciful and very violent application of the norms of divine justice –”

Nie Mingjue’s presence bolstered the spirit of good men, while his gaze seemed to make evildoers itch. He was the most earnestly good person Nie Zonghui had ever met, and also one of the most stiff and unbending in respect to what he believed should and should not be done.

Unfortunate that his standards didn’t seem to match up to the needs of either human law or diplomacy…

“– as well as another who can scheme circles around anyone and persuade them of anything as long as he puts his mind to it and only doesn’t because he’s too busy lazing around in the sun to bother –”

Nie Huaisang liked to file his nails down to something that looked quite normal, but they grew sharp quickly enough if he wasn’t paying attention, and he had a penchant for pranks. There was nothing quite as unnerving as running into a sudden and unexpected ambush and then suddenly hearing the shrill peal of a fox’s laughter, hidden behind a scholarly fan.

“– but all things considered, we’d really rather you - didn’t.”

His mother and father nodded fervently.

“Good,” the sect leader said, though he still looked suspiciously at them as if he thought they were hiding something. “Good. As long as we’re agreed.”

-

Nie Zonghui walked in on his sect leader pinning the Wen sect leader to a wall, murmuring something in a low voice with a very particular smile on his face, and then he turned around and walked right back out again.

The sect leader of the Wen sect might appear beautiful and young, but he was at least a generation older than the Nie sect leader. Not that that had stopped the latter from relying on their respective positions to refer to him in startlingly intimate terms – my dear A-Han, the sect leader would say with a touch of wickedness that reminded one of his second son and the tiger gall bravery of his first – and while at first the Wen sect leader had taken it as a challenge to his authority, an act of brash insolence, it appeared that they had progressed beyond that.

That the Wen sect leader already had three wives and two concubines apparently didn’t present any obstacles either – except perhaps in what those poor women might have to endure from their husband when he returned from the wretched teasing he was enduring. Nie Zonghui felt a bit of pity for them.

Shortly thereafter, he felt a bit of pity for himself. The Wen sect had long dreamed of dominating the cultivation world and sought to increase their influence with the other sects through underhanded means, with the Nie sect opposing them at every turn. Even if war was not on the immediate horizon, the wise could smell its distant approach in the air - the best estimates said that it would take another decade or two to arrive, unless the Nie sect leader took an especially hard stance.

It appeared, however, that the Nie sect leader had chosen to take a different sort of…hard stance.

Ugh.

Maybe Nie Zonghui could conspire to throw his sect leader into a cage with a live tiger in heat next time he felt in the mood. It’d probably be less dangerous.

Nie Zonghui had assumed that the first person to talk to him about what he had seen would be his sect leader, even if it was only to remind him of the general rule that the sect leader had ultimate power and therefore could exercise his own bad judgment in deciding to fuck whoever he wished, but instead it was the Wen sect leader that found him later that afternoon.

A flush had yet to fully fade from his cheeks, and Nie Zonghui raised his eyes to the ceiling to avoid looking directly at the man in front of him. 

He did not want to know. Others might, given that no one had ever complained about the looks of either party, but he himself had realized long ago that he had no interest in matters of the flesh under any circumstances; he was very content with that conclusion.

“Is there some service this one can provide to Sect Leader Wen?” he asked politely, and it was only when the sect leader flushed again that he realized belatedly that his words could be misconstrued. After all, his own sect leader had probably already made a similar offer regarding the provision of services…

“Your sect leader has a sister, doesn’t he?” the other man asked, his voice tight and his hands in even tighter fists. “I’m not misremembering that?”

“He does,” Nie Zonghui responded honestly, and not without sympathy for the Wen sect leader’s position. He was given to understand that making certain belated discoveries regarding one’s own preferences could be highly disconcerting, particularly later in life. “But she’s rather different in kind than what you may be thinking, so it won’t work out that way. It wouldn’t work even if she wasn’t already married, which she is.”

After a moment of thought, he added, “Also, consider your predecessors.”

The Wen sect leader’s eyes narrowed.

-

Really, it was the sect leader’s own damn fault that he got himself murdered.

[jaimebluesq]

I read that "Six Secrets" activity and tried it with NHS & JZXun for a fic I'm writing. It's amazing how quickly things get dark when it comes to secrets.

Just thought I'd share it - maybe it'll give some people ideas.

And if anyone would like me to try it with another character, please ask! I'd love to see what my brain comes up with.

List six secrets that your character has.

is an open secret

is a secret the people close to your character know

is a secret that your character wouldn't really care about getting out

is a secret exactly one person knows anything about

is a secret no one knows about but they sort of want to come out/to tell someone

is a secret no one knows and they desperately don't want anyone to know about.

Nie Huaisang

is an open secret -- That he's actively searching for a wife for NMJ so that he can have nephews/nieces who can be heirs instead of him.

is a secret the people close to your character know -- That he's skilled in astronomy, math, and talismans.

is a secret that your character wouldn't really care about getting out -- That he likes men, and is the one behind the distribution of porn back in Cloud Recesses.

is a secret exactly one person knows anything about -- That the night his father died, he'd made a painting that he wanted his Baba to see, and though his father told him to leave, he refused and kept at him , wanting his father to give him some attention. The qi deviation happened right after and NMJ coming was the only reason NHS wasn't accidentally killed by his father. NHS blames himself to this day, believing his bothering his father was one of the reasons for his qi deviation.

is a secret no one knows about but they sort of want to come out/to tell someone -- That he's NOT the one who created the list of eligible cultivators. Anyone who's met him thinks he did it, but he DIDN'T. He wishes he knew who did, but more than that, he wished people would stop thinking it's HIM. Especially since Da-ge's on the list!

is a secret no one knows and they desperately don't want anyone to know about. -- When he was 12, a senior disciple took an 'interest' in him – he didn't return it. That didn't stop the disciple, who kept pressuring him and cornering him in places alone Eventually he was cornered someplace he couldn't get out of and was gagged so he couldn't yell as he was touched against his will and forced to touch the disciple. Days later, the disciple told him to join him for a night hunt, thinking to get NHS alone outside the Unclean Realm. NHS went, bringing a handful of specific talismans with him. The disciple never came back, the victim of a yao attack. Nobody knows NHS lured it there with talismans and scrambled up a tree in time to avoid its teeth and claws. The other talismans were enough for him to defeat it from above.

Jin Zixun

is an open secret -- Is often JGS' mouthpiece – says what JGS really wants to say, but if you confront JGS about it, he'll deny it and say it's just his nephew being an ass (in other words gives JGS plausible deniability)

is a secret the people close to your character know -- Still has nightmares after the Sunshot – dreams of Wen killing disciples all around him.

is a secret that your character wouldn't really care about getting out -- That he thinks the Lan are a bunch of self-important scholars whose noses are stuffed so far in their books that they can't see the world for what it really is.

is a secret exactly one person knows anything about -- That he's bi – NHS knows and nobody else (living).

is a secret no one knows about but they sort of want to come out/to tell someone -- During the Sunshot campaign, while wandering the Unclean Realm in the middle of the night, he heard voices from NMJ's office. It was NMJ drinking wine with LXC, who was giggly and drunk as a skunk because he not only drank alcohol (!!!) but was a lightweight! This is the real reason why he pulled what he did at the Phoenix Hunt banquet – yeah he wanted to piss people off, etc, but he wanted the world to know the secret he'd found out that he didn't think anyone would believe if he told them.

is a secret no one knows and they desperately don't want anyone to know about. -- Before Sunshot began, he'd been sleeping with one of his junior disciples (male). He didn't know if he had feelings or if it was just sex, but in the end it didn't matter – the disciple was one of the first Jin to die once they joined the other sects in the war. -- Also, he hated that his uncle stayed out of the fight for so long. He thinks it's shameful, that the Jin are as much warriors as the other sects and staying back so long was as good as saying “we're too weak to fight with you against the Wen” - but he never spoke of it to anyone, kept it to himself because he's filial and a good Jin.

[ibijau]

Concubine nhs pt6 / on AO3

“What if you lived here,” the emperor says as he peppers with kisses the crook of Nie Huaisang’s neck. “I could arrange to give you quarters of your own. You’d get to spend your time as you please, you’d only see the people you want to see, and it’d be easier to be together.”

Nie Huaisang hums, tracing patterns on the other man’s sweaty back, enjoying the warmth and closeness. He’s never actually complained against Nie Funyu, but the emperor might have picked up on his reluctance whenever it’s time to go home. Or maybe he didn’t notice, and just wishes to have him more at his disposition. They’ve counted themselves lucky when they could see each other once a week in the nearly two months since they’ve become lovers. The emperor is often busy during the day, and worries too much about Nie Huaisang’s reputation to make him stay at night. He doesn’t want the Nies to get the wrong idea, he’s explained, even if in this case the wrong idea would be the right one.

It’s sweet of him. The emperor would probably be horrified to learn that Nie Funyu has given him spring books, ‘for inspiration’, and encouraged him to ask for advice to Meng Yao, whose mother was a courtesan.

There are many things the emperor doesn’t need to know.

At least, the war against the Wens seems to be going well. Nie Mingjue has captured a strategic city already… though the Wens apparently have shown signs that they might attack the lands under Jiang Fengmian’s protection, and if they succeed that could be a serious threat to commerce. Nie Huaisang has spent a couple of sleepless nights peering over maps, trying to guess what his brother’s strategy might be. They might need to rely on the armies that are under Jin Guangshan’s command, which won’t be pleasant because he’s a prick and difficult to work with, but his son is engaged to the young lady Jiang, so maybe…

“Huaisang, what do you think then?” the emperor asks, rising on one elbow to look at his lover’s face. “About living here?”

“I think your uncle won’t like it.”

“This isn’t about him, and I’ll deal with him if needed. Do you like it?”

A home of his own wouldn’t be unpleasant, Nie Huaisang figures. It would make it harder for people to order him around, and he wouldn��t have to report everything he does when he’s alone with the emperor. On the downside, it means being forced to follow protocol and learn a whole new set of rules to avoid getting in trouble in the imperial palace, where people are ever so attentive to rank and constantly plotting for their own schemes. It also means losing Meng Yao, the only friend he’s managed to make since coming to the capital.

“I don’t want people to think of you badly,” Nie Huaisang says, and means it. He doesn’t like hearing the emperor insulted. “They’ll say you brought in a servant’s son as your whore when you won’t even take a wife.”

“I don’t want a wife, I want you,” the emperor replies with such sincerity that Nie Huaisang can only smile at him and steal a kiss. The emperor allows that kiss, but ends it before it can turn heated, an air of concern on his face. “If you don’t want to live here, just say no.”

“Hm.”

“But if you’re scared of what people might say, then I’ll make this as official as can be. I can’t take you as my wife, but there have been male concubines in the past. You’d have every honour that I can bestow upon you, a monthly allowance, your own quarters, as many servants as you’d like… People would owe you the same respect they’d owe anyone else in my household.”

That’s probably not as much respect as the emperor thinks. Having lived so much of his life as a servant, Nie Huaisang has overheard a lot of gossip and is only too aware of what people say about that sort of situation. He’s heard his father chat  with his guests about the many whore of their good friend Jin Guangshan, or share stories about the old emperor and his tragic romance that elicited more laughter than compassion. 

And that’s just what nobles share among themselves. Servants are just as ruthless when talking about their masters. Nie Huaisang knows what people said about his father for taking a pretty servant girl into his bed a whole winter, even talking about marrying when she became pregnant, before eventually sending her back to her old job after deciding he didn’t want to divide Nie Mingjue’s inheritance. If Nie Mingjue himself hadn’t become fond of his bastard brother and insisted on seeing him legitimised... and people gossip about that, too.

People are mean.

“What if you change your mind about me?” Nie Huaisang asks.

The emperor looks sad and brings a hand to Nie Huaisang cheek, caressing his face with unbearable tenderness.

“I won’t. I’m sure about the way I feel.”

Nie Huaisang says nothing. People are always sure at first, always ready to say whatever it takes to get a pretty little thing in their bed, until someone prettier comes around and catches their attention…

But the emperor isn’t people. He’s someone who means what he says, and his every action make it clear that this isn’t just about sex. He’s so genuinely happy when they’re chatting, when they’re playing a game, when he gets to make Nie Huaisang try some new food. Even today the emperor was more interested in painting together, and they probably wouldn’t have made love if Nie Huaisang hadn’t seduced him.

Nie Funyu scolded him after the one visit that didn’t end up in bed, accusing him of not putting in the effort, of being selfish, of risking his brother’s life by not giving in to the emperor’s every whims. So now, Nie Huaisang is careful, even though he’s half sure he doesn’t need to be.

The emperor is not like other men.

It’d be easier if he were. It’d be just a transaction, which Meng Yao says is the best way to deal with those situations. When feelings get involved, things become messy, he said, and made Nie Huaisang promise not to do something stupid like falling in love.

It might be too late for that, but Nie Huaisang promised anyway.

“If you don’t want to live here, it’s fine,” the emperor says when Nie Huaisang has been silent for too long. “Just know that I’m willing to give this to you. Anything you want, I’ll give it to you.”

“I want to run away with you,” Nie Huaisang replies too fast. “Far away from here, and hide from everyone we’ve ever known.”

The emperor sits up, a sad smile on his lips. It’s unfair that he’s beautiful even when he’s sad.

It unfair that Nie Huaisang can’t have the only thing he really wants.

“What about your brother?”

Nie Huaisang stretches, and wrinkles his nose. It’s getting late, he realises, looking through the window. He needs to wash and get dressed so he can leave. He doesn’t want to.

“I guess Mingming is allowed to visit us sometimes. But only if he’ll keep the secret.”

With a short laugh, the emperor takes Nie Huaisang’s hand and helps him sit up as well, before stealing a kiss.

“And my brother?”

“I don’t know. Would you miss him?”

“Very much so.”

“Then he can visit as well,” Nie Huaisang generously allows. “In fact, he can even live with us, but he’ll have to do his share of work. Can he hunt?”

“Wangji is a strict vegetarian.”

“So what? Plenty of people eat meat who can’t hunt. He could hunt and not eat meat. I’ve heard people say he’s amazing with a bow. If he lives with us, he can go hunt for rare furs, that will make us some nice money. I can sell my services as an accountant or something of the sort. And you… well, you can just stay home and write poetry, you’re good at that.”

“A kind way to say I don’t have any useful skill!” the emperor complains, pulling him close for a kiss that’s more laughter than anything else. 

For a moment, Nie Huaisang thinks that the kiss will lead to more, but the emperor is too serious and reasonable for that. Instead he gets a soft towel to clean Nie Huaisang’s body until the only traces of their lovemaking are a few red bites. They both have other things to do. The emperor must lead his people, and Nie Huaisang must humiliate himself by sharing more than he’d like about his intimate life with his father's cousin.

As they both get dressed, the emperor chats quietly, trying to figure out when they might be together again. There are some important celebrations coming up, and he needs to hear the grievances of a great number of officials and supplicants because of the trouble caused by the Wens. It probably will be two weeks before he can make time again, if not more.

Two weeks feels like a very long time. Not only will Nie Huaisang miss the emperor, but he’ll have to deal with his cousin’s temper, who is sure to be upset by this long pause in their acquaintance.

“Xichen, I’ve decided what I want,” Nie Huaisang says as he finishes tying his robes. The emperor looks at him with a puzzled air, as if he’s already forgotten what they were talking about. Then, as he remembers, his expression turns hopeful, so much that Nie Huaisang can only smile. “I want to live here, with you. As your concubine, your servant, your whore, I don’t care, I just want…”

He can’t finish, because the emperor crosses the distance between them and kisses him as if his life depends on it. 

They do end up making love again after all. The entire time, the emperor swears he’ll take care of Nie Huaisang, that he’ll protect him, that he loves him,  that they’ll be happy. Life isn’t that simple, but Nie Huaisang can pretend that it is. It’d be nice to be happy.

In his next letter, Father says that the emperor has written to him about taking Nie Huaisang as his concubine, and sent a contract draft regarding that offer. Father then congratulates Nie Huaisang for tricking the emperor so well, and forcing him to make his support of their family as official as if he’d married one of their daughters. That praise leaves him feeling dirty. The emperor is a good man, who doesn’t have to be tricked into doing what he thinks is right, and Nie Huaisang hates that this is how others see their relationship.

The best thing about going to live in the imperial palace, Nie Huaisang decides, is that Father won’t be able to write such cruel things anymore for fear the emperor might see it.