#since it did take a bit for sophie to get one

[bookwyrminspiration]

y’all got home crystals tf you in line for

[leclarifies]

letters (MV33)

꒰ max verstappen x childhoodbestfriend! reader ꒱

synopsis┊it was confusing, even though you were continents apart, you never understood why max never responded to your letters, until you attend the belgium gp to finally get the answers you were looking for. inspired by the prompt, "why did you never reply to my letters?" "you wrote me letters?"

genre┊ fluffy, the fluffiest fluff i've ever fluffed.

word count┊ 4.4k

aria yaps┊ i have worked on this non-stop for two days, and i loved the way it turned out, maybe one of my favorite works. enjoy reading this as much as i enjoy writing this!!

SECOND PART

she was always around max, either from the sidelines or the first person max ran to when he won a race, it was always her. not even his father, even though he held his father to the highest regard, but it was always her.

the little wrinkles on the edge of her eyes when she smiled at him, the way her lips would curl up, or the way she would giggle every. single. time. that he would come and hug her after every race finish. he remembers it all. and the way he would snuggle his face in the crook of her neck and asked her softly after he would win a race, 'did you see me win, schatje?'

she would always smile back with a laugh, 'of course i did maxie.'

it was always about max, her life revolved around him, whether he liked it or not. she adored him and maybe he adored her a little bit more. they were childhood friends, they were inseparable since they were little babies, their mothers being friends made it even harder for the both of them to not be attached at the hip.

she loved being in his presence and he loved her.

the divorce between jos and sophie was hard on max, he blamed himself and his career but she was always there to tell him that it's not his fault. that their decision was their own and she never forgot to tell max that it wasn't his fault, no matter how much they told him that it was.

she saw the way jos had pushed max to his limits, get physical with his own son and his way of escaping that life was run to her arms, she was there tending to every bruise, every wound whether physical or emotional. she was his rock and it was final. nothing anyone could ever say or do would change his name.

"schatje," max had gently woken her up from her slumber, and she stirred awake from his soft voice, she noticed where she was and finally remembered what happened.

max had finished lower than expected and jos had thrown hurtful things about max, she was there on his mother's couch, comforting him and had fallen asleep that way, with max on her lap, "are you sleepy?"

she shook her head, not wanting to admit that yes, indeed she was sleepy, but if max needed comfort then that wasn't a big deal to her, "what's wrong maxie?"

"nothing, you can sleep on my bed if you're tired. i can sleep here," max had brushed a stray strand of her hair behind her ear but she refused, she hated taking his bed because she knew how uncomfortable the couch was, she wanted him to sleep well.

but he wouldn't allow her to take the couch, so they both slept on sophie's couch almost cuddled with eachother because they were both stubborn.

max was necessarily content with how he was living his life right now, but she made it better and that's all he could ask for. was it her smile? maybe her presence? max didn't care. the first memory he could remember from his early childhood was her, and it was etched into his memory like stone.

she was content with being max's rock, she was there to keep him grounded and she too only had memories of him from her early childhood. she wouldn't replace him for the world, he was too precious for anything in this earthly world.

but there was one day, it felt like a bomb dropped on her. her father had told her that he would have to move to korea to continue work, and she didn't know how to break the news to max until a few days before she had to leave.

she knew it was wrong to keep something this big away from max, but she was so stricken with anxiety that she never got the chance to until max came over to her house and saw all the packed boxes with their belongings.

"why didn't you tell me sooner?" max was angry, she could tell, by the way he was pacing around her room, looking at the packed boxes around. max thought he meant more to her than just a measly friend, he felt frustrated— betrayed almost. why wouldn't she tell him? why would she keep something as big as this away from him?

"why didn't you say something before? why now? why before you could see me race this weekend?" max was raising his voice now, and she didn't know what to do. her eyes turned glassy and those doe eyes max loved so much just looked so sad.

she stayed quiet, a guilty look on her face. she knew max would break from the news, and she knew that it would affect his performance, but she didn't know how to stay, how to convince her father that she didn't want to go, so yet again, she stayed silent in important moments of her life.

"schatje, can you say something? say anything?!" max yelled and she flinches, she didn't know what to say or what to do, she wanted to say something, say anything. but nothing would come to her lips. it was so hard for her when he was angry like this, it reminded her of his father and his father was deathly scary when angry.

a sigh escapes max's lips when he sees her flinch, coming close to her to wrap her in a hug. tears escaped from her eyes as she held onto max tight, "i didn't know how to tell you," she whispers into max's ear but max didn't say anything to that, just held her even tighter and he did not want to let go.

"it's okay schatje, i'm not mad at you. i could never get mad at you, i'm sorry for raising my voice. i just don't want you to go," tears started to escape max's eyes too, he didn't want to see her go. he wanted her to stay, and she did too. but the universe was pulling them apart and there was nothing either of them could do about it.

the ride to the airport was tough, being only fifteen and sixteen respectively. max held her hand the entire time, not wanting to let go, he didn't want her to leave, she was his biggest support system and he couldn't imagine her gone like that.

she was the most scared of the two of them, what if her father never returned to belgium? what if she was stuck there in korea forever? what if she never got to see his pretty blue eyes anymore?

max was the one to ground her, no longer lost in her thoughts, "can you promise me we'll keep in touch? or maybe visit from time to time?" max was holding onto her hands tightly, she felt like they would bruise, she could only smile and nod.

her mother had called her over, it was time to go. she looked at max for what it felt like the last time and left her life in belgium.

dear schatje,

hi, this is the first week that you're gone and it's bene been so hard without you here with me. i forgot that you weren't here anymore and i was expecting to see your face, but when i didn't, i may or may not have almost cried.

i miss you so much. tell me how it is in korea, is it cold? do they have bears there? what about the food? is it good? can you eat it? i heard there's a lot of spiy spicy food there? honestly i don't care about what they have there, i just care about you.

when can you visit again? can you tell me if you're ever coming back? i'm so worried about you there, i miss you... so much schatje.

written with a lot of love, your maxie.

max always handed off his letters to his father, telling his father to hand it off to his mother because apparently they kept in contact and wanted to send it off to the post office on behalf of him.

he just wondered how she was doing there.

it's been months and countless of letters max had sent, and none of them replied. he was starting to lose hope, he didn't want to think that his best friend would forget about him so easily like that, but he held out hope. he knew that she wouldn't magically forget about him now that she was there.

jealousy bubbled within him when he realized that she would be meeting new people, what if she met someone like him? who enjoyed karting and wanted to steal her attention?

no, he couldn't be thinking like that. he loved her and he knew she loved him as much as he did, so he told himself to just be patient, maybe letters to korea took months to reach?

the naviety was almost laughable but he was fine with it. he just wanted to hear back from his pretty girl.

"i do not understand why you keep writing letters to that stupid girl, she doesn't reply to you and all it does is distract you," jos had reprimanded his son, but max was stubborn. he didn't care what his father had to say, he loved all of her, even when she was thousands of kilometers away. he wanted to talk, even when she never replied.

max was in the process of writing another letter, but he never listened to his father, not about her. not about how much of a distraction she's been to his career, he didn't care. he used it as motivation to get better on the track, so the next time she saw him, he would be a world champion, that's what he silently promised to her.

it had been two years, and he hadn't heard a peep back. slowly, he was starting to lose hope but he couldn't lose hope, every single time he would send off the letters, he told himself that maybe it got lost in the mail.

max kept writing though.

max's debut in f1 was explosive to say the least, his interviews would absolutely go viral by the things he was saying in them. he didn't understand why, he just said what was on his mind.

what was truly on his mind was her.

was he not good enough for her? was him being in f1 not enough to impress her? why wouldn't she write back?

oh god how he missed her.

he still wrote to her weekly, it was religious at this point. he never forgot and he always told his father to send them off to his mother and the week after that was always disappointment because he wouldn't hear anything back.

little did he know, she never received those letters.

max had slowly stopped writing letters as he got into f1, he didn't see a point in it anymore. she never replied. she didn't care. letters didn't take years to reach korea, and he finally lost hope.

winning his first championship felt empty, the pretty girl who used to be waiting for him wasn't there for him anymore. of course, he was happy to win such an impressive feat, who wouldn't? but it just... lacked her.

max indeed lost hope that she would ever write back, but never lost hope that she was out there, somewhere, watching him race every single week and beat the shit out of his rivals. she loved watching him race and that's what he intended to do until the day he died, he wanted to impress her, maybe that was his ulterior motive to becoming a formula one driver.

all just to impress his best friend who had lost contact with him for a decade now.

"you need to stop figdeting so much," her mother had scolded her, she could only laugh nervously and stop fidgeting around. she wondered why max never wrote back to her, she had written him letters. did he hate her for moving out to korea and not coming to visit belgium?

she shook the thoughts out of her head, she was here now. for his home race, and for the rest of her life. her father had now decided to move back to belgium, because and i quote, 'i don't want my daughter to lose touch with her culture'.

she was 26 now, and she had guessed that he turned 27 not too long ago. it's been so long since she talked to him and she hoped that the spark that she had been yearning for had not been lost to the passages of time.

getting the paddock passes was not easy, it was a war and a half but she managed to snag some for herself and a friend that wanted to visit belgium and would arrive later on in the week.

"how did you even manage to get paddock passes for us?" heejin, her friend that wanted to visit had asked, she could only laugh and explain how she got them, it was a war and a half. heejin laughed along with her as they both arrived and scanned their passes at the entrance.

"i'm gonna meet my best friend here— well it's complicated. i don't think he considers me a best friend anymore, but i still do," she had softly told heejin who was a big formula one fan even before meeting her, heejin raised her eyebrow when she said that.

the both of them were walking down the paddock, passing all of the different team's hospitalities. heejin raised her eyebrow at her friend, who shrugged.

"who's your best friend?" heejin had asked as they pass by the red bull hospitality, she stopped which signalled heejin to stop as well, she looked at the redbull in awe. she hadn't been to a formula one race yet, the closest she'd been was to karting but that didn't bring on the feelings she felt when standing in front of this red bull building.

"well, he's driving the number one car."

"YOUR BEST FRIEND IS MAX VERSTAPPEN?!"

"YOUR BEST FRIEND IS MAX VERSTAPPEN?!"

max had heard a girl yell, he slowly turned his head. he was confused, he didn't have a best friend— well not anymore. she had moved to korea, all memories of her stuck in his head being replayed all over and over again.

that's all he had left of her.

the other girl shushed the girl who yelled, and that's when it dawned on max. the other girl looked awfully familiar, he couldn't quite place why she looked so familiar but she looked like her, like his best friend.

"shh! you can't just yell that out in public," she clamped a hand on her friend's mouth, "they're gonna think i'm insane!" then the both of them giggled, it did sound ridiculous but now he was curious.

was she back? was that her? who was she with? is that her new best friend? is that her?

as they both walked away, max wanted to run up to them, to ask that one particular girl what her name was. what she was doing here and who she was with but all of that died when he got approached by his race engineer.

then he forgot all about that familiar girl that he saw in front of the red bull hospitality.

max would only get another glimpse of her when it was race day, they were walking through the paddock in a similar fashion, but max promised to himself that he would approach them, that he would ask but there was doubt in his heart.

what if she forgot about him?

she couldn't, right?

and so approach them he did, tapping the girl that he felt was so familiar to on the shoulder, she had turned around and they had locked eyes.

it was as if she never left.

the sparks, they all came rushing back and then his heart started beating out of his chest, he wanted to ask so many questions, why she was here, who she was with, when she came back— why she came back, why she never wrote him back.

but the only thing that left his lips were a simple, "hi."

heejin was freaking out, she could tell. she knew that heejin was a big red bull fan too, always talking about how the team was dominating and they had the better car. she had heard all about it. but the little dutchboy she left all those years ago was standing in front of her and not-so little anymore and all those thoughts about her girlfriend was forgotten.

he looked the same, but grown and decked out in red bull merch. she wanted to laugh at how innocent he looked when he tapped her on the shoulder to get her to turn around, he looked stupid, stupidly cute.

all of those feelings from when she was back in belgium came back, she almost forgot what it felt like to be around max— her max. he looked like he was going to cry when he got a good look at her, that he finally realized that yes, it's her. the one that left him in belgium all those years ago.

and maybe she could cry too.

"maxie?" a familiar nickname slipped from her lips and she didn't get a response back, but a bear hug in return.

god, her scent. it was everything to him. he fucking missed it— miss her.

"i thought... i thought you forgot about me," max buried his face into the crook of her neck, she too wrapped her arms around max and buried her face into his chest. his voice was so vulnerable, all she wanted to do was curl around him and tell him that she would never.

she shook her head as she sank into the hug, "i could never forget my maxie," she mumbled into his chest, he held onto her tighter. he never wanted to let go, not now, not ever. she was where she was finally supposed to be, right in his arms.

once they got time alone after his race, max had stolen her away from her friend and dragged her into his driver's room, locking the door and pushing her against the wall, slamming his lips onto hers. he had been dreaming about this for so long, his lips on hers.

he didn't want to so sexual with her, no not yet. being in the small driver's room where they couldn't be free out of the public eye wasn't a good place. he just wanted to touch her, hold her, love her, make sure that she knew how much he had missed this.

missed them being together.

her hands instinctively went up to hold onto his shoulders, holding on for dear life as he kissed her softly. the feelings going through him were a mix of nostalgia, longing and love. he loved her for so long and it was so like her to show up when it mattered the most.

he won it for her today, to show her, that the little max she knew still had it in him to win and to impress her even with a world championship under his belt.

she felt the softness and the gentleness that max was touching her with, she knew how much he loved her. how much he care, how much he longed for her touch and she did too, only so much more.

she had so many questions in her, on why he never replied to the letters she sent or why he never sent any himself, not knowing what happened with her letters and why they never arrived properly.

but she didn't care at the moment, all she cared about was that she was safely in his arms, never to be let go ever again.

safe to say, her lips were to the point of bruising that night. max had forbade her to go back home, or to be away from his sight. he had kissed her silly, not wanting to let her go and there she was, settled nicely in his arms.

it's not like she wanted to go anywhere anyway.

the movie in the background was long forgotten, max's lips felt like they were molded for hers. he had waited for her for so long, waited to feel her skin after so long and this just felt right, it felt right when he was with her.

"maxie— mmhh— my love, stop," she had to talk in between kisses, max didn't want to let her go, his fingers were basically imprinted onto her waist. she was straddling max as he sat upright and kissed her, so softly. like she would break if he was any harder, even though he absolutely did want to kiss her harder.

max released her from the kiss with a pout, his pretty lips were red and swollen from all the kissing they did. everything in the world just seemed to fade into the background when they were together, like everyone else in this world was so insignificant for their time and they were the only people worthy of each other's time.

"but why? i wanna kiss you, i miss you. i have waited for you for ten years, the least you can do is let me kiss you until you're sick of me," max mumbled against her lips and all she could do was giggle.

god, her laugh, he loved it.

she shook her head and left a final peck on his lips, "because i want to talk maxie, we can't just kiss whatever questions we have for eachother away," she told him but he seemed to think otherwise, she had moved back to put a bit of distance in between them, to make sure max didn't go in to kiss her again.

"oh yes we can, i don't care about the questions, schatje. i just wanna be with you, just like old days, but now it's so different because in those ten years without you, i finally realized what i felt and how i felt for you and i can't wait any damn longer to finally kiss those pretty lips of yours, so please. just let me do this for another three hours and we can talk," max begged as he pulled her closer.

she couldn't imagine kissing for another three hours as they spent the last hour doing it, but with him? she would do it for another life-time if she could.

the both of them later had the serious talk when they were done kissing each other, now wanting answers from eachother. their legs were tangled and intertwined with each other's, not wanting to let go from their skin to skin contact.

"first off, why did you never reply to my letters? i wrote you so many. so many that i lost count, i would always write to you but you never replied, why?" max's voice came out strained, all of the painful feelings from the last ten years of his life were coming out, her doe eyes looked up from where she was, laying against his chest.

"you wrote me letters? i wrote you letters, you never replied. i thought you got too busy with your karting career to reply—"

"i could never get too busy to reply to you, but i never got any of your letters, schatje," max murmured against her forehead, kissing it gently after he spoke. she hummed a response before it dawned on her, she had always sent the letters to his father's address and she knew that his father wasn't fond of her, even offering her a huge lump sum of cash just for her to stay away from his son but she never accepted it, always choosing to be beside max, no matter what happened.

she looked up and sighed, she knew what happened now, she connected the pieces, "did you send your letters off to your dad?" she asked, and max nodded before it dawned on him too.

"that fucker hid the letters from you and never sent mine..."

she could only nod sadly, but it didn't matter now. all that mattered was that they were reconnected now.

scattered around them were the countless of letters max had written to her and all of the letters from her that he never received, the years of pining, longing— all of them tucked neatly away into these little envelopes that held all of those unsaid feelings.

a soft sigh escapes her lips, she looked at all of them, there were hundreds maybe. all of them posted to where she stayed in korea but never sent, always kept in a big box where all of his letters were and hers were stuffed in there in a similar fashion.

her heart clenched when she saw how many there were, there were far more many than whatever she sent, even though she did send quite a big sum.

when max had found out, he stormed into jos' house and demanded to ask why he never sent out the letters that he wrote and a big fight broke out, she had to hold of max from physically harming his own father. then they left after given the big box filled with letters.

"there's so many..." she watched in awe as all of them were sorted by date, from the latest to the earliest, max looked up at her with those big blue icy eyes of his, he looked really sad. stuck in his feelings almost, not understand why his father would do whatever he did in the past.

max held her hand gently, pulling her into his embrace, "i have always loved you, even when i was a little kid. i just didn't understand what those feelings were, i just acted on how i felt and being away from you... i just couldn't. so i sent you my love in the form of these letters."

she left a lingering kiss on his cheek, she felt sorry for having to leave all those years ago. she should've fought, should've stood her ground on how much she wanted to stay but she was just a 16 year old kid who didn't know how to, "i know. i'm sorry i had to leave all those years ago."

"don't apologize, schatje. i have never blamed you for leaving me. i have always held love for you in my heart, even if you didn't know it."

"i always knew max, and i still do."

very willing to do a part 2 to this btw, will only do it when requested tho. not proofread, excuse grammar mistakes.

[sparkleofpizza]

The Alchemy

Lando Norris x fem!reader

The beginning.

THE 2019 SEASON

Melbourne, Australia, 2019

I was nervous, I knew you shouldn't be, but I was.

The sun was shining bright down at the Melbourne Circuit, you could hear the delighted conversations from fans just outside of the motorhome. Everyone was excited for the upcoming season of Formula 1, with new drivers and grid line up changes. And I was one of the new faces at the paddock, although not a driver.

I’ve been no stranger to this whole life at the paddock and following Formula 1. I grew up with it as I’d follow my father around since the moment i learned how to walk.

Jenson Button, former Formula 1 driver and world champion. I carried my last name with pride, I love my dad more than anything in the world, but the moment I showed genuine interest in the motorsport world people started to talk.

So now, I can't help but wonder, what is everyone going to say the minute you walk into the paddock as not a guest, but as a McLaren intern.

Sure, I will be the first to admit that having the Button last name did help I get this internship, but I conclude the training to be here on your effort, with my intelligence, my studies and everything I prepared myself for.

I knew working at the PR department didn't come easy in the motorsport world, I not only had to deal with PR, reporters, FIA, and the drivers, but you had to understand the dynamic of the sport, of the car, and everything else in case I needed to step up to give a statement on behalf of a driver or the team.

I spent countless days, in 2018, going over the FIA regulations, learning about the cars, all while taking classes in UNI and juggling the McLaren PR training.

Someone called out my name in a soothing manner. I lifted your head, meeting Sophie's smile. Behind her there were two men, one standing tall and proud and the other a bit more awkwardly. I knew very well who they were as I will be working close to them.

"Hi, Sophie." I smile at her "Would you like to join me for coffee?"

She nods, taking a sit across from me and gesturing the two men to do the same.

"I wanted to introduce you three properly since you'll be working close together." She says "These are our 2019 drivers, Carlos Sainz and Lando Norris. This is Y/n, she is our new PR intern."

I smile at both of them.

“It’s nice to finally meet you both.”

Carlos smiles “Likewise, I hope we get along well, the three newbies of McLaren.”

I laugh at his little joke and Lando follows suit with his own laughter that is a bit too contagious.

He seems a bit shy, maybe it’s because it’s his first season in Formula 1 and he feels like he has a lot to prove. In a sense I relate to him. We’re both here to show we’re good and deserve to be here.

And without even speaking for more than 5 minutes with him, I can already feel that we’re going to be friends soon enough.

Xangai, China, 2019

I have my back turned to the door of McLaren hospitality as I fumble with the coffee machine. It’s very early in the morning on Friday, a few hours away from the start of free practice. I am feeling exhausted from the long flight from England to China and the different time zones.

“It seems like the coffee machine is winning the fight.” A voice cut through the silence of the hospitality.

I turn around to find Lando standing beside me with a smile on his face, showing his dimples and amusement.

“I can’t get it to make coffee, I think it’s broken.” I complain with a huff

“Did you turn it on?” He asks me amused

“What?”

“Did you turn on the machine?”

“Of course I…” He reaches his arm across from me, pushing a button and the coffee machine beeps before finally brewing my coffee. I feel my cheeks go warm in embarrassment “Sorry, I’m uh still half asleep.”

He giggles, that infectious laugh of his that I always find myself smiling and giggling along whenever I hear it. If there is one thing I have already learned from Lando, it's that it’s nearly impossible to be serious around him. He carries this natural good natured aura, and he’s funny and likes to make jokes and see the good side of things. And whenever I’m around him I find myself a giggling mess.

We grab our cups of coffee and take a seat at one of the comfortable arm chairs at the corner of the room.

“You look tired.” Lando points out, sipping his coffee.

“I’m jet lagged, and I had a paper to turn in for uni so I stayed up until late and I only got a few hours of sleep on the plane because I had to review the questions for yesterday’s press conference.” I tell him, basically chugging down my coffee “Do you think I’d get fired if I drank Red Bull?”

He shakes his head.

“You should get some sleep during FP1.” He tells me

I sigh “Yeah, but it’s not really worth the drive back to the hotel, I will probably only manage a twenty minute nap before I have to come back here.”

“You can nap in my driver's room.” He offers, a friendly smile on his face

“Oh, no, I can’t accept it.” I shake my head “Thank you, thought.”

Lando smiles, leaning over the armrest of his seat to get closer to me.

“I insist. You need sleep to be on top of your game. Come on.” He stands up offering his hand. I eye it for a moment before accepting it. He pulls me up to my feet.

He guides me through the corridors of the hospitality until we reach his driver’s room. He opens the door and I’m a bit surprised at how neat it looks. I half expected it to be a mess of clothes.

“Here, you can sleep on the couch, it isn’t much but it’s better than nothing.”

“Thank you.” I smile, sitting on the couch and taking off my shoes.

I get into a comfortable position, curling up on the couch and instantly closing my eyes. I feel something soft covering me and I open my eyes a bit confused.

“I don’t have a blanket.” Lando says, his cheeks turning red. “So I uh… covered you with my jacket.”

I feel my chest grow warm at his sweet gesture. I smile at him.

“Thank you, Lando.”

He smiles back at me, and at that moment, I think is when I started to have a crush on him.

Barcelona, Spain, 2019

I should have expected Spain to be a bit insane considering the fact that I work with a Spanish driver. The minute I stepped out of the car with Carlos following behind me, the fans started to scream and throw themselves at us.

I’m not unfamiliar with the whole passionate fans wanting pictures and autographs, but since I used be a toddler or a child, they at least head the decency to not push and pull at my dad because I was clinging to him.

But now I am an adult, and they don’t care about those things anymore and I had never been mobbed by fans before without having my dad or my uncles by my side.

The fans screamed at Carlos who was doing his best to attend each and every single one of them. And things only got worse when Lando arrived and they suddenly wanted pictures of the best new funny duo of the grid.

They pulled at me, shoving pictures on my face to get them to sign since I worked with them, and they yelled questions about what it was like to work with the both young drivers.

I tried to step away, get away from them fans, but I was stuck in between the mass of people and to make matters worse they managed to separate me from Carlos and Lando who were looking at me concerned over the chaos.

“What the fuck?! What the fuck is going on?” A harsh loud voice cut through the yell of fans “Stop pulling at her! Get your hands off of her!”

Suddenly a tall blonde man dressed in red was pushing the fans away from me, shielding me with his body as he yelled.

I cling to the back of Sebastian's Ferrari shirt, telling like a little girl again, but completely relieved that he was there with me with his familiar force of comfort he always knew how to bring me.

He wrapped his arm around my shoulder, gluing me to his side and I knew if I wasn’t 20 years old anymore he would have picked me up and carried me like a toddler out of this mess. He glared at everyone who tried to get in our way and stirred me inside the paddock.

“Prinzessi.” Sebastian called me the same nickname from when he first met me as a newborn “Are you okay? Did they hurt you?”

I shake my head “No, I’m… I’m fine.” I say, but my voice is shaky and he can tell that I’m holding back tears.

He places his hands on my shoulders, peering down at me with intense concerned eyes as he scans my body to look for any injury.

“What the hell is wrong with you both?” Sebastian yells the minute Lando and Carlos finally catch up to us “They were eating her alive!”

They look sheepish and terrified of being scolded by the German who looks lived with anger.

“She’s your PR assistant, but you’re supposed to keep your fans in check to keep her safe!” Sebastian continues with the harsh tone “She could have gotten hurt! They were touching her and shoving her! That was so reckless from the both of you!”

They nod, stiffly.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Vettel.” Lando says, eyes wide “I promise this will never happen again. I’ll- I’ll make sure she is safe at all times from now own. I- I swear!”

Sebastian doesn’t correct him on the Mr. Vettel name calling, he nods still with a glare.

“Come on, prinzessin.” He says in a much more soft tone, his arm resting against my shoulder in a protective parental manner “Let’s get you to Ferrari, uh? I will get you one of those chocolate pastries you love so much.”

With one final glare Sebastian takes me away from them. The McLaren drivers share a confused look as they watch me walk away.

Monte Carlo, Monaco, 2019

The Monaco Grand Prix is always a big event. Lots of celebrities and former drivers gather in the city to watch the historical race, and that’s how I find myself sitting at the McLaren hospitality chatting away with uncle Nico while my dad gets us drinks.

“Are you sure you don’t want to watch the race from Mercedes, uncle Nico?” I ask him, making my best innocent look that always got me away with things when I was younger and probably until this day when it comes to the drivers who watch me grow up.

“No, of course not.” Nico Rosberg shakes his head, a found and almost proud smile on his face “This is the first race I am watching this season in person and you’re officially a Formula 1 employee, I’m staying all weekend here with you at McLaren.”

I want to argue with him that I’m not technically a F1 employee as I’m just an intern, but he gives me a pointed look and I only nod.

“So, what is this that I hear about you and a rookie driver?”

I widen my eyes as I look at him.

“What? What are you talking about?”

Nico laughs at me “Seb has told me that you’ve become inseparable from the rookie McLaren driver, Norris.”

I huff, I should have known uncle Sebastian would open his mouth and gossip about me to his retired friends.

As if being summoned, Lando walked into the McLaren hospitality, wearing his cap backwards and smiling big as always. Carlos is beside him as usual and they both make their way over once they spot me.

“Hola, pequenita.” Carlos greets me, ruffling my hair affectionately before spotting Nico sitting across for me and getting a bit embarrassed.

Lando stands beside me ready to make a joke when he notices Carlos’ expression and widening his eyes when he sees Nico as well.

“Hello, Nico.” Carlos greets him

“Carlos, always good to see you.” He smiles before turning to Lando “And you must be one of the 2019 rookies, Lando?”

Lando nods quickly “Yeah, yeah. That’s me, nice to meet you Mr. Rosberg.”

Nico’s smile widens as Lando addresses him as Mr. Rosberg, feeling pleased with himself. I shot him a warning glare.

“Please, join us.” He says, motioning for the boys to the empty seats.

Lando sits beside me as Carlos sits across from me, leaving one empty space at the head of the table.

Nico makes light conversation, asking mostly questions about Formula 1, but I could see the glint in his eyes every time he asked Lando something, who seemed incredibly shy at receiving attention from a World Champion.

“I’m sorry it took me so long to get the drinks, I ran into some old friends.” My dad says walking to the table with a glass of my favorite refreshing drink to have in Monaco “There you go, sweetheart.”

I smile, accepting the drink “Thank you, dad.”

Lando and Carlos both choke on their saliva at the same time when they hear me call Jensen Button my dad.

“Ah, just the men I wanted to meet!” He exclaims “Carlos, Lando, you both have been doing such good jobs here at McLaren. My daughter talks a lot about you.”

I watch as they become flustered over the news. My dad smiles, taking a sit at the head of the table.

“I heard you both let her get swamped by a mob of fans?” He asks with a smile, but I can see the hard look in his eyes.

“Dad!” I scold him “Uncle Seb already gave them a hard time!”

My father chuckles, soon being followed by Nico. Carlos and Lando’s eyes are wide and they look terrified.

“I know, I know.” My dad lifts his hands in surrender “I’m just messing with them. But I still have eyes and ears on the paddock so…”

“Dad!” I scold him once more.

He laughs again and finally switch subjects, talking about the new grid line up of this year and asking questions to Lando and Carlos who seem to become a bit more comfortable at the presence of Jenson Button and Nico Rosberg.

Hockenheim, Germany, 2019

Lando was in a bad mood, I could tell it from far away. He was moving frantically around the garage and he had a scowl on his face.

The past five races have been of ups and downs from him, he had two DNF, one race out of top ten because he got p11 and two races where he scored points. But he was pissed off still from his p11 on his home race in England.

It also didn’t help that the reporter he got placed with decided to improvise some questions that wasn’t pre approved and it made Lando uncomfortable with the way he was pressing on the matter of him doing a bad job at his home race.

And then, to make matters worse, he DNFed again today.

“Lando.” I say his name in a soft tone

He whips his head quickly towards me, a deep frown on his face.

“It wasn’t your fault.” I say, I place a hand on his forearm, squeezing it in reassurance “It’s raining terribly today, everyone is spinning.”

He huffs annoyed.

“I should be good at racing in the rain.” He complains.

“How many times have you raced in this circuit?” I ask him, calmly.

“Well- this was the first time, but…”

I cut him off “And how many times have you raced in the rain in a Formula 1 car?”

Lando blinks at me as he answers “This was also the first time.”

I nod, my thumb rubbing sof circles on his forearm.

“And how do you expect to be good at something you’re doing for the first time?”

He looks away from me, and I can tell he is staring to consider my words.

“Valtteri has been doing this for a long time and he also crashed.” I tell him.

That get him to look at me again, his frown turning into something a bit more hopeful.

“Bottas didn’t finish the race?”

I shake my head “No, he didn’t. Even the experienced ones are having a hard time out there. This is only your first race in the rain, Lando.”

He sighs, and slowly he nods his head. He shifts his arm, making my hand slide down and towards his. His hand is much bigger than mine and it’s warm despite the cold weather from the rain. He squeezes my hand.

“Thank you. I just-…”

I smile at him, squeezing his hand back.

“It’s okay. I get it.”

And for the first time since he DNFed, I saw Lando’s dimples as he smiled at me.

Marina Bay, Singapore, 2019

Singapore has always been a hard circuit. The warmth and humidity did no good for the drivers to be racing for long periods of time. Still, it’s one of my favorite circuits because I find it beautiful to watch the race at night.

I’m watching from the McLaren garage, this time considering the hot weather conditions, they allowed the PR team to wear lighter clothes, so I’m in a simple dress, standing close to the AC and sipping water every few minutes.

I wince when I watch Carlos spin and crash into the barrier. The garage grows quiet for a minute.

“He’s ok!” His race engineer announces and we all finally breath normally again

A few moments later Carlos enters the garage with an annoyed look on his face. He places his helmet on one of the shelves and go to speak to his team.

I keep my eyes trained on the screen to watch Lando’s progress while I look for the schedule of reporters who want a world with Carlos after his DNF.

I accept the request of two journalists and move over to where Carlos is.

“Hey… you ready for some interviews?” I ask, eyeing him

He clenched his jaw before nodding and following me out of the garage and onto the media pan.

I give out instructions to him on the way there and step back when he positions himself to give the interviews. I watch intensely, jotting out necessary information on my iPad and ready to intervene at any given moment, but despite the bad situation, the interviews go smoothly and soon enough we’re back at the garage.

Carlos excuses himself to go shower and change clothes, clearly not in the mood for conversation.

In a blur of moments I watch as uncle Seb wins the Singapore Grand Prix, a proud smile on my face. Lando finishes in p7 which is great since he’s on the pointing zone.

“Congratulations, Lando. You did a really good job today!” I tell him

His smile grows bigger “Thank you, thank you!”

Even though he’s happy, I can notice the tiredness ok his face. He’s completely drenched in swest and I can see the slightly tremor of his hands, probably about to begin an hypoglycemic episode without even realizing.

“Hey, why don’t you take a sit?” I say, gently grabbing both his arms and walking him to a chair. I move quickly as I push my water bottle into his hands and search for a snack “Here.”

Lando looks at me a bit confused, but obliged.

“Oh.. wow.” He chuckles “How did you even know how to do this? I didn’t even realize I was feeling weak.”

I smile, my hand twitches at my side as I feel the want to run my fingers over his curls.

“I’ve been on the watching side of this sport since I learned how to walk. I learned a thing or two.”

He nods, still munching on the chocolate protein bar I gave him.

“Yeah… I uh sometimes forget you’re the Jenson Button’s daughter.”

“I’m glad you do.”

Lando tilts his head to the side, confused, but doesn’t say anything and I’m grateful for that.

Austin, United States, 2019

The season is coming to an end, thankfully. All the traveling, working and university studying at the same time has been taking a toll on me. It is too much, and I could see it every time I woke up and looked at myself in the mirror. The circles staring back at me.

My body was sore, my throat scratchy and my head hurt. I knew the flu was making it’s way to dominate my body.

Still, I put on makeup to cover up my sickness face and went to the paddock for media day.

“Buenos dias!” Carlos greeted me once I entered the van and sat across from him and beside Lando who was bouncing with energy on the seat

“Good morning.” I say, cringing a little at the way my voice sounded

Lando frowned, pushing his face close to mine to examine me.

“What’s wrong?” He asked in a low voice, his brows furrowing

“Nothing’s wrong.”

Still, he kept analyzing me. From the corner of my eyes I could see Carlos lips turn upwards in a smile he hid behind his phone as he scrolled through it.

Lando said my name slowly, softly.

“You look sick.”

I pout slightly as I say “Geez, thank you for saying I look terrible.”

He huffs, clearly not finding my attempt to brush it off as funny as I did. He lifted his hand up before placing it on my forehead.

“You’re hot.”

“Oh, so now I’m…”

“Stop trying to deflect it.” Lando cuts me off before I can make another joke. “You’re sick. Why didn’t you say anything? You should be in bed resting.”

I shake my head, getting away from his hand.

“I’m not sick. I’m great. I’m just jet lagged and a bit tired, nothing some coffee won’t fix.”

Lando frowns and it takes me by surprise to see the irritated look on his face directed at me. Sure, I’ve seen him mad before when the race doesn’t go the way expected or when the media gets too much, but never aimed at me.

“I’ve seen you jet lagged and tired before and this is not it.”

I say his name in a sigh and he says my name in a warning. We stared at each other for what feels like forever, before Carlos giggles at us and says we arrived at the paddock.

The minute I get out of the van I start to quickly walk inside the paddock, scanning my pass, knowing the guys will stop to talk to the fans and I will be free of Lando’s questioning. I start to make my way to the McLaren hospitality when I feel a large hand land on my shoulder.

I flinch in surprise, whipping my head around and finding Lando beside me, still frowning.

“Lando.” I try to sound stern as I say his name, but it gets mixed up with a cough I try to hold in.

That only makes his frown deepen. He starts to drag me somewhere.

“You’re going to the medic center now.” He says, stern.

I complain and try to stand still, but he is taller, bigger and much stronger than me so he basically drags me.

I can see some people turning around to look at us, but I keep telling him to let go.

“Hey, hey, hey.” Sebastian shows up in front of us, hands on his waist and I know that behind his sunglasses he is glaring at Lando. “What is going on here?”

“She’s sick and she’s being stubborn about it.” Lando says, still holding onto my shoulder “So I’m taking her to the medic center.”

Sebastian frowns, placing his sunglasses on top of his head as he takes a step closer to me.

“I’m not sick.” I say “Lando is being dramatic. Tell him to leave me alone.”

“She is sick! She even has a fever!”

Sebastian looks between the two of us, but he knows me long enough to know I am lying. He places a hand on my forehead.

“Norris ir right, you do have a fever, prinzessin.”

“No I don’t.” I say stubbornly.

He arches an eyebrow, as if challenging me.

“Do you want me to carry you to the medic center like you’re still a tiny baby?” He asks and I shake my head quickly, knowing very well he isn’t bluffing “Then let Norris take you and follow everything the medics say.”

“But Sebby!” I whine.

“Prinzessin.” He gives me an unimpressed look “Go to the medic center with Norris, now. And I’m not asking, I am telling you to go.”

I huff with a pout, knowing I won’t win this argument so I let Lando take me to the medic center while Sebastian watches from the distant as the McLaren rookie fusses over me.

Abu Dhabi, Saudi Arabia, 2019

The paddock was busier than ever, so many people with so many big smiles and shouts of happiness.

It’s the last race of the season and it leaves a bittersweet feeling on my chest. On one hand I am extremely happy that the season is finally over and I will be able to go back to a somewhat normal routine, going to college everyday, normal sleep schedules, as normal as an university student sleep schedule can go, and staying at home for a bit.

But at the same time, I am upset about being away from Formula 1 for the time being. I got used to seeing Lando and Carlos everyday, they are already a big important part of my life. I like the thrill of being in a different place every other week, of learning new things and watching the races.

I’m sitting at the VIP lounge section at the rooftop, overlooking the paddock bustling with activities. I’m sipping an Italian soda while I soak in the last moments of the 2019 season.

I don’t say anything as Lando slips quietly on the seat beside me. He has dark sunglasses perched on the top of his nose and he’s wearing a black McLaren shirt. His thigh brushes my slightly to gather my attention.

I shift in my seat to look at him and he already has that dimple smile on his face.

“It’s been a long year, huh?” He says quietly

I nod, smiling softly at him.

“It has been… feels like it was yesterday that I meet you and Carlos on my first day at the paddock.”

He hums, reaching out for my glass of Italian soda and taking a sip without even asking for it. I don’t mind, it’s normal between us by now.

“How was your first year as a Formula 1 employee?” He asks

“Better than I expected to be honest.” I tell him, playing with the hem of my dress “I didn’t get bad words from people for being Jenson Button’s daughter.”

Lando nods, understanding what I’m hinting at.

“You’ve been doing a good job, I think you’ve proved yourself here.”

“No, I haven’t yet.” I tell him. “But what about you? How was your first year as a Formula 1 driver?”

His smile widens “It was insane. Sometimes still feels like I’m dreaming. I know the results I’ve been getting aren’t ideal yet, but being here… it’s great.” I can tell he’s happy by the way his eyes lit up “I got so luck to have a good teammate.”

I nod, he sure indeed found a friend in Carlos.

“And even luckier to have the most beautiful and incredible PR intern.”

My cheeks grow hot the minute my brain register and processes his words. I lift my eyes to look at him, his cheeks are also tinted pink and he was a sweet smile on his face.

We stare at each other for a moment, only gazing in each others eyes. I reach for his hand and he squeezes mine in his big one.

“Will you be here with me next year?” Lando asks in a soft tone.

“Yes.” I breath out “I’ll be here with you next year.”

[mythicalmaven]

Beyond Boundaries - Oscar Piastri (PART ELEVEN)

Masterlist ↳pairing: oscar piastri x female!norris!reader ↳word count: 3,5K ↳chapters: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, ↳chapter warnings: friends to lovers, brothers teammate trope, angst, talking about feelings

↳series summary: Since Oscar joined McLaren as your brother’s teammate, you two have quickly become best friends. Recently promoted to be Oscar’s physiotherapist, you both relish the opportunity to spend more time together. However, as the new role brings you closer, you both realize you might be feeling more a little more for each other than just friendship

*Saturday, April 6th*

It was early in the morning when Oscar found himself seated in the meeting room. He wasn't alone, you, Zak & Sophie from the media team where there too. It was time for Oscar to get introduced to the one girl he absolutely did not want to meet. The one he was supposed to fake a relationship with.

The reason as to why you were there too, was Zak. He said something about it being important that you would meet the girl too, considering Oscar and you spend a lot of time together being his trainer. Zak pointed out that it would be practical for you to know some of the ins and outs as well.

Oscar looked around the room, his eyes landing on you, pressing his lip together. Almost as if he was silently apologizing to you, trying to not be obvious about the hidden knowledge between the two of you.

It was then when the door opened, a man and a woman walking in. She looked kind, she actually did. She was tall, skinny, had a slightly tanned skin & long brown locks. You could easily tell they tried to find someone with similar features to you, probably to make it more believable that it was her in those leaked pictures. She was pretty, very pretty. In your opinion, a lot more beautiful than you were. It stung a little, if you were being honest with yourself.

Oscar felt bad for you, for himself, but also for the other girl. Wondering if something similar brought her into this as well.

Zak's eyes lit up, a professional smile spreading across his lips. He stood up from his seat, gesturing to the man and woman to take a seat.

"Oscar, Sophie, Y/n, this is Ava, the lovely lady we told you about" he started, looking briefly at the lady. His eyes then shifted to the man next to her "And this is her manager, Liam" he continued.

Ava smiled kindly at all of you, first leaning over the table to hold her hand out to Oscar. He shook her hand and send her a polite smile "Nice to meet you, I'm Oscar, but you probably already knew that" he said, a small chuckle leaving his lips.

The brunette returned a smile "Likewise" she spoke, before moving her attention over to Sophie, introducing herself to her as well, before shifting her attention to you.

She held out her hand, her nails perfectly manicured. When you took her hand and shook it. She send you a smile.

"Nice to meet you!" you weakly spoke, your tone kind, but laced with an uncertainty "I'm Y/n, I'm Oscar's trainer and physio"

"That's lovely" she spoke with an honest smile.

"So, Liam and I have already talked a bit about what could be a plan" Sophie started, clearly not the one to have came up with this fake dating plan. She sounded as if she only said these things, because she had to.

Liam nodded, a smile on his face "We were thinking it might be a good start for Ava to be in the McLaren motorhome tomorrow during the grand prix. Maybe wearing something that's Oscar's, like a bracelet" he started, his attention shifting to Ava "Then maybe after the race, we could arrange for Oscar to walk by you briefly, maybe brushing your hands or him quickly hugging before he walks on?"

Oscar looked at Sophie and Liam, his breath catching in his throat. Not in a good way, but in a way that made him realize how real this all was getting "Y-Yeah.. sure"

Ava nodded "Sure, I think that could work"

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆⁺

Oscar sat on the edge of the small couch in his driver's room, hands clasped loosely in his lap as he glanced at Ava. She was perched on the other end, her posture relaxed but attentive. Her kind smile didn't quite reach her eyes, though, and Oscar could tell she was just as unsure about this arrangement as he was.

"So," he started, breaking the silence that had settled between them. "This is... definitely a strange situation to be in."

Ava let out a soft laugh, nodding. "You can definitely say that, yes. It's not every day you agree to fake date someone you barely know."

Oscar's lips twitched into a small, half-hearted smile. "True. I mean, I get why it's necessary, but it's still... weird." He paused, choosing his words carefully. "Did you get into this in the same way?"

She tilted her head, considering his question. "Something like that. It's complicated, I guess."

Oscar nodded, his mind flashing to the conversation with his manager, the pressure of the rumors swirling around him and you. But he didn't want to get into all that. Not with Ava, not yet.

"Yeah, I get that," he said, leaning back a little. "I'm sure we both have our reasons for agreeing to this."

Ava's smile softened. "I'm not really one for drama, to be honest. But sometimes you just have to play along, right?"

Oscar chuckled lightly. "Yeah, exactly. I'm not a fan of all this PR stuff, either. But, I guess it's part of the job sometimes."

They shared a brief, understanding look, the tension between them easing slightly. Ava shifted, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "So, how do you want to play this?"

Oscar rubbed the back of his neck, thinking. "Well, we don't have to overdo it. Just enough to make it believable. We can show up together to events, act friendly—like we're getting to know each other. I don't think anyone expects us to be all over each other."

"Agreed," Ava said, relief in her voice. "I think we should just be ourselves, but maybe add a bit more... I don't know, closeness? Like we're actually interested in each other."

Oscar nodded. "Yeah, that makes sense. We don't want it to look obviously fake."

They fell into a comfortable silence for a moment, the awkwardness from earlier gradually fading. Oscar found himself relaxing a bit more around her. She was easy to talk to, and he appreciated her straightforwardness. Though she was not you.

"Have you ever done anything like this before?" Ava asked, her tone light but curious.

He shook his head, a small smile tugging at his lips. "No, this is a first for me. Feels a bit like acting, doesn't it?"

Ava laughed softly. "Yeah, but without a script. We'll have to improvise."

"I'm not great at improvising," Oscar admitted with a playful grin.

"Well, good thing I'm here then, perks of being an actress" Ava teased gently. "I'll cover for you."

"Thanks," he said, his smile growing. "I appreciate that."

They lapsed into another easy silence, and Oscar found himself feeling grateful that Ava wasn't making this harder than it needed to be. Despite the odd circumstances, she seemed genuinely kind, and that put him at ease.

"Let's just take it one step at a time," Ava said finally. "We'll figure this out."

"Yeah," Oscar agreed. "One step at a time."

As they sat there, sharing a quiet moment in the midst of all the chaos outside, Oscar couldn't help but think that maybe this wouldn't be so bad. As long as he could keep things clear between them—and with the reader—he could get through this. And, with any luck, things would settle down soon enough.

After that they spend some time getting to know each other, just so it wouldn't be awkward when they would have to do interviews. He learned that Ava was 22 years old and born in Australia, but moved to the UK at a young age, something Oscar and her had in common. Ava told Oscar that she had started acting when she was just a kid, so she kinda rolled her way in it when she was young.

Oscar, on his turn, told her about his hobbies outside of F1. He told her about you. Explaining that you have been best friends for a while, leaving out the detail of your feelings for each other. Not wanting to break his promise to you.

"She's the girl you hooked up with according to the media, right?" she asked, honestly interested.

Oscar stayed silent, but did give her a soft nod.

"That explains the awkward look you both had in the meeting" she replied with a laugh "Let me guess, shit-faced drunk?"

Oscar laughed "Pretty much covers it, yes" he stated, scratching the back of his neck.

Ava send him a compassionate smile, folding her hands in her lap "So, let me get this straight" she started, a chuckle leaving her lips "The girl you kissed is not only your trainer, she's also your best friend. And to top it off, she's also your teammates sister"

Oscar shrugged "Yep"

"Yeah, that makes it all a whole lot more complicated" she laughed.

Ava then leaned back on the couch a little, looking back up at Oscar "Before I forget to ask. Liam mentioned that it maybe would be smart to discuss our boundaries. You know, considering the things we have to do. Affectionate wise"

Oscar looked back at the other Aussie, then shifting his gaze to his lap. Time for the awkward stuff, he thought.

"I'm fine with anything to be honest, I'm used to it all considering my job. So if you're up for it, I'm fine with kissing, if that helps convince the public eye"

Oscar felt a tight knot forming in his stomach as Ava brought up the topic of boundaries. He shifted uncomfortably, his fingers playing with the hem of his shirt as he avoided her gaze. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to be convincing in this whole fake dating scenario—it was just that every time he thought about doing anything more than the basics, guilt hit him like a punch to the gut. Your face flashed in his mind, and he swallowed hard.

“Yeah, um,” he started, voice a little shaky, “I guess we should talk about that.”

Ava nodded, her expression calm and open. “I know this is weird, and I’m not exactly thrilled about the idea of putting on a show either, but if we’re going to do this, we should be on the same page.”

He took a deep breath, trying to gather his thoughts. “I’m… I’m kind of socially awkward, to be honest. I mean, I’m fine with doing some stuff, like, a hug or holding hands maybe. A kiss on the cheek is okay too, I guess. But anything more than that—” He hesitated, his heart thudding in his chest. “I just… I don’t know.”

Ava tilted her head slightly, her eyes gentle. “That’s fine, Oscar. We don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with. This whole thing is just acting, right? We can take it slow, one step at a time.”

He glanced at her, grateful for her understanding. But even as she spoke, he couldn’t help but feel like he was betraying you. You hadn’t exactly defined what you were, but the thought of pretending to be with someone else, even just for show, made his chest ache.

“Thanks,” he mumbled, looking down at his lap. “It’s just… complicated, you know?”

Ava seemed to pick up on his unease, leaning forward slightly. “Hey, I get it. Really. But you can trust me, okay? I’m not here to make things harder for you. We’ll go at your pace. And if it ever gets too much, just let me know, and we’ll dial it back.”

Her words were sincere, and he found himself relaxing a little, but the nagging feeling of guilt still lingered. He knew she was right—it was just acting, and it didn’t mean anything. But deep down, the idea of kissing Ava, even if it was just for show, felt wrong. Like he was betraying something fragile and precious between the two of you.

“But, if you’re up for it,” Ava continued cautiously, “a real kiss could help sell it. But only if you’re okay with it. We don’t have to, Oscar. Not if you don’t want to.”

Oscar sighed, running a hand through his hair. He knew she was just trying to be professional about the whole thing, but it still felt like a rock was sitting on his chest. “I know, it probably is… I just have to think about it, I guess. It’s not that I don’t want to be convincing, it’s just—”

“You’re not comfortable with it,” Ava finished for him gently. “That’s okay. We can stick to hugs, holding hands and kissing each others cheek.”

“Thanks,” he muttered, giving her a weak smile. “I appreciate that.”

"I just suggested it, since in the pictures that got leaked, it all seemed pretty intense. So I thought, that might sell it a little better, but.." Ava smiled back, her eyes soft. “We’ll figure this out, Oscar. Just remember, this is all for show. It doesn’t mean anything.”

He nodded, though he couldn’t quite shake the unease. He didn’t want to hurt her feelings, but he also couldn’t ignore the guilt gnawing at him. He needed to tread carefully, not just for the sake of the act, but for the sake of whatever it was between you and him. And maybe, just maybe, he could get through this without messing everything up.

"I gotta go now, tho. Liam needed me for something around this time" Ava spoke as she looked at her phone, her voice soft and understanding.

"Yeah, of course. Thanks again" Oscar replied, not moving from his spot on the couch.

Ava stood up, but not before bending down over the couch, kissing Oscar gently on his cheek "Well, see you later, boyfriend" she said, before sending him a cheeky wink and leaving the room.

*Later that day*

A few hours had passed, and you found yourself sprawled out on the couch in Lando's hotel room. The evening had been spent in casual conversation with your brother over dinner, discussing random topics that flitted in and out of your minds. But now, the silence in the room was thick, heavy with unspoken words. Lando had noticed your shift in behavior, the way you’d grown quieter, more introspective, and it was starting to concern him.

He watched you carefully, his brow furrowed with worry. The quiet stretched on, and eventually, he broke it, his voice gentle but insistent. “You know you can always talk to me if something’s bothering you, right? That’s what big brothers are for,” he pointed out, his eyes soft as they searched your face for a clue.

You swallowed hard, your gaze darting away from his. The guilt gnawed at you, the weight of the secret you’d been keeping pressing down on your chest. Lando knew some things, sure, but he didn’t know the whole truth about you and Oscar. The part where you and Oscar had crossed that line from friends to something more, something you hadn’t been ready to share with anyone else yet. And keeping that from Lando, of all people, made you feel terrible.

“You’ve just been different,” Lando continued, his voice dropping to a near whisper, tinged with the slightest hint of disappointment. “You’re so silent. Normally, you always tell me everything. Is it the whole fake-dating thing that Oscar has to do?”

Your breath hitched, and you felt a pang of anxiety ripple through you. “No?” The word slipped out, but it sounded more like a question than the firm denial you wished it could be.

Lando rolled his eyes, a hint of exasperation creeping into his tone. “Who are you trying to convince? Me, or yourself?” he pointed out, leaning back slightly as he observed you with that perceptive gaze of his.

You sighed deeply, sinking into the couch in defeat. There was no point in pretending anymore; Lando could always see right through you. “Ugh, fine,” you huffed, taking a deep breath to steady yourself. “To answer your question... Technically, no, but also yes.”

Lando raised an eyebrow at you, silently urging you to elaborate. The way he looked at you, with that mixture of concern and patience, made it even harder to keep things hidden. Another sigh escaped your lips as you met his gaze, knowing you couldn’t hold back anymore.

“I get why he has to do it,” you began, your voice low and tinged with frustration. “The reasoning behind it makes sense. Besides, it means nothing—it’s just a business deal.”

Lando nodded slowly, waiting for you to continue. He could sense there was more, much more, that you needed to get off your chest.

“But…” you trailed off, your voice catching in your throat. You hesitated, the words feeling heavy on your tongue. Admitting it out loud made it all too real, and that terrified you. But Lando was patient, his presence steady and comforting, like an anchor you could cling to in the storm of your emotions.

“But it’s complicated,” you finally said, your voice trembling slightly. “Oscar and I… We’ve been trying things. We decided to give it a shot, you know, without labels. And it felt great, Lando. It really did. But then, not even a week later, this whole fake dating thing comes up, and it just… sucks.”

Lando’s expression softened even more, and he leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees as he listened intently. You could see the concern in his eyes, but there was also an unspoken encouragement there, urging you to keep going.

“It sucks because… because I wish things weren’t so complicated,” you continued, your hands wringing together in your lap as you struggled to put your feelings into words. “He’s your teammate, I’m your sister, and we work together. It’s already a mess. And now with this PR stunt… I can’t help but wish I could just allow myself to fully be his. But I can’t. It’s like… I’m holding myself back.”

Lando reached out, placing a reassuring hand on your shoulder. His touch was warm, comforting, and it made you feel a little less alone in your confusion. “You’re in love with him,” he stated softly, more of a realization than a question.

You nodded, your eyes stinging with the threat of tears. “Yeah, I am. Honestly, I’m so in love with Oscar. But I’m scared, Lando. Scared of what happens if we make it real. What if it all goes wrong?”

Lando’s thumb brushed gently against your shoulder, a small gesture that carried so much understanding. “You know, sometimes things are worth the risk,” he said, his voice low and thoughtful. “If you’re both feeling this way, then it’s real, with or without a label. And sometimes, putting a label on it doesn’t change anything—it just makes it easier to define what you have.”

You looked at him, biting your lip as you considered his words. “Maybe,” you murmured, “but it’s still scary. And then there’s Zak, and the team… I just don’t want to make things harder for Oscar.”

“Have you thought about talking to Zak?” Lando suggested gently. “Maybe it wouldn’t be as big of a deal as you think. And Oscar’s strong, he can handle this. You don’t have to carry it all on your own.”

You nodded slowly, the idea swirling in your mind. Maybe Lando was right. Maybe talking to Zak could ease some of the pressure. But there was still that gnawing insecurity that wouldn’t leave you alone.

“I thought about it, but I'm not sure if it's the right thing to do. Also, the PR thing might be the solution to, you know, fix things,” you said, your voice dropping to a whisper. “I understand why it’s necessary, and I don’t mind it too much, not really. But it still sucks. It sucks to see the person you love having to act like that in front of the cameras with someone who’s not you. Someone who’s way prettier, someone who wouldn’t make everything so complicated.”

Lando’s eyes softened, and he squeezed your shoulder gently. “Are you afraid he’ll fall for her during this PR stunt? That you’ll lose him?”

You let out a shaky breath, the question hitting closer to home than you wanted to admit. “I guess I am,” you whispered. “I definitely trust him. I know he wouldn’t do anything, but… I’d understand if he did. It would be less complicated with someone like her, and besides, we don’t have any labels. He doesn’t owe me anything.”

Lando shook his head slightly, his expression firm. “Oscar is head over heels for you, sis. I’ve seen the way he looks at you—there’s no way he’d want to look at anyone else like that. Not even for a second.”

His words wrapped around you like a warm blanket, soothing the cold fears that had been gnawing at you. You took a deep breath, letting the tension in your shoulders ease just a little. “Thanks, Lando,” you murmured, your voice soft and full of gratitude.

“Anytime,” he replied, pulling you into a gentle hug. You rested your head against his shoulder, finding comfort in the steady rhythm of his breathing. The conversation wasn’t easy, but it had been necessary, and now, with Lando’s support, you felt a little more prepared to face whatever came next.

—————⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆⁺—————

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[newtonsheffield]

I bet Sophie teases Kate endlessly the day Anthony goes to the swimming class with Neddy and Kate sees him shirtless for the first time in almost 4 years.

Oh Kate is going through it that day. She tries not to take it personally that Neddy asked her if his dad could swim with him this week. She knows he’s just exploring the relationship with Anthony because he’s confident that his relationship with her is a constant. And truly she thinks it’s sweet that Anthony hasn’t missed a class since he started going. Even though his phone sits on the bench and rings and rings Anthony doesn’t answer. It’s one of the things Kate admires about Anthony: Neddy has 100% of his focus when they’re together.

“Yeah, Daddy can get in the water next week. Bring your trunks, Ant.”

It’s actually not fair, that she’s nearly toppled off the bench with Neddy sat on her knee while Anthony strips out of his shirt. It feels like the entire world is moving in slow motion when his toned chest ripples with the movement. She remembers running her tongue over that chest, she remembers nipping at it with her teeth before Anthony had fisted his hand in her hair and dragged their lips back up to meet. Her cheeks are burning by the time Anthony tugs a shirt back on.

“Are you ready, Neddy boy?”

“Yes!” Neddy called out scrambling from Kate’s lap.

Kate shook herself out of it and kissed the top of his head. “Have fun, baby.”

Neddy ran off, perched on Anthony’s shoulders and Kate let out a shaky sigh, leaning back against the wall.

“Enjoy the show?”

Kate narrowed her eyes at Sophie. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Sophie chuckled, “Okay. I’m just saying; I feel like he might have done a bit of manscaping with you in mind.”

Kate rolled her eyes, “Pretty sure he didn’t. He looked exactly like that three years ago. I don’t think he was doing sit ups before I arrived.”

“Have a little flashback did we?”

Kate sighed, “It’s actually very hard to be friends with someone you were so attracted to you hired a hotel room to shag it turns out.”

“And your magical single time attraction created Neddy.” Sophie teased. “What a fairytale.”

Kate snorted, “Oh it was not just once. The next morning I was so exhausted I could hardly walk away from him after breakfast. I was inspired to take up yoga because I realised: I’m not flexible enough.”

Sophie let out a disgusted noise, “Jesus Christ. You two need to just shag it out again.”

“We can’t.” Kate sighed, “He’s Neddy’s dad, and it’s messy. Plus his sperm bested a condom once I’m not giving it the opportunity to do it again.”

[tip-top-cloud-surfer]

To Be a Man - Hangman

Pairing: Hangman / Wife!OC (Sophie)

Word Count: 2.2k

This work, all my works, and my entire blog are 18+ Only

Warnings: Secret Marriage; Non-Traditional Family Dynamics; Mentioned Death of Minor OCs; Marriage of Convenience/Necessity; Mentions of Type 1 Diabetes; Third Person POV, Named OC kids and Wife, No Physical Descriptions of Any OCs

Summary: Hangman is married. And it’s no one else’s business.

Prologue Part 2 Part 3

Master List

A.N. Disclaimer - I don’t have Type 1 diabetes and so this is purely based off of a little research and what I’ve seen my friends with Type 1 do.

“You’re married!?”

Hangman turned around at the accusation to find the rest of the Daggers, save for Coyote, who he was talking to before they were so rudely interrupted, staring at him like he had grown a second head. He scoffed and rolled his eyes, not sure why it was any of their business.  

“Yeah, what’s it to you?”

“Who the hell are you married to?” Rooster asked, earning a condescending smirk from Hangman.

“My wife.”

“Well, no shit Sherlock.”

“Where’s your wedding ring then?” Payback questioned, leaning on the table to inspect Hangman’s left hand. “I’ve never seen you wear one around.”

“It’s on my dog tags, dipshits,” Hangman replied, pulling out the chain to show them, even though he didn’t have to do that. “That a crime?”

“Why do you flirt with other women then?” Bob inquired, sharing a look with Phoenix. “Two women gave you their numbers last night alone.”

“Did you see me calling either one of them?”

“Well . . . no, we didn’t, but—”

“—When did you get married?” Phoenix intervened, tilting her chin up and narrowing her eyes a bit. “And where is she?”

“Two years ago. And she’s driving here right now,” Hangman stated, checking his watch. Pulling out his phone, he looked up his wife’s location before turning back to the Daggers. “She’s about five minutes away, if you want to be specific.”

“She’s staying here with you?”

“For a while, yeah. Like anyone else’s spouse would,” Hangman retorted, getting a bit annoyed with all of the questions. “Why?”

“Well, we’ve got to meet Mrs. Seresin,” Rooster drawled, folding his arms across his chest. “Since we’ve heard so much about her.”

“Do you even have a picture of her?” Fanboy questioned, causing Hangman to shoot him an annoyed look.

“Yes.”

“Well, are you going to show it to us?”

“No,” Hangman snorted, shaking his head. “No, I’m not.”

The Daggers continued to list of questions that Hangman half-answered, half-gave bullshit responses, before Hangman spotted a familiar silver car rolling into the lot. Ignoring the Daggers, he set his drink down and got up from his seat, slipping around the railings on the back porch of the Hard Deck to greet his wife. Coyote was about to take a sip of his drink when he found five sets of eyes trained on him.

“I’m not telling you guys anything,” Coyote stated, shaking his head. “They’ll be here in five seconds.”

“So, you knew the whole time that Hangman was married?” Payback questioned, causing Coyote to nod in return. “And you never thought to mention that?”

“Not my business to tell.”

“Jake!” a shrill voice that definitely belonged to a little kid broke through the air.

The Daggers all quickly pivoted from Coyote to the boardwalk where a girl, probably around six, sprinted down the wooden path. Hangman picked up his pace and scooped her into his arms, lifting her off the ground effortlessly. And if the Daggers weren’t confused and befuddled before at Hangman’s personal life, they sure were now.

“He’s a dad!?”

“What the hell is he doing with a kid!? This is Hangman we’re talking about, right?”

“She called him Jake, dumbasses,” Phoenix pointed out, though she watched the interaction closely. “What kid calls their dad by their first name?”

Hangman kept walking with the girl in his arms, chatting excitedly with her. Then another kid, a boy probably three or four years old, jumped up onto the boardwalk and raced towards Hangman as well. The Daggers grew even more confused. Hangman leaned over and scooped him up like he weighed nothing, pressing a kiss to the side of the boy’s head.

A woman finally stepped out from in between two cars and pulled Jake in for a tight hug, which he tried to return as best he could with two kids in his arms. The Daggers watched their interaction like hawks but gave each other confused looks when the woman, who they presumed was Jake’s wife, pulled away with just a kiss pressed to his cheek.

“That’s his wife, right?” Rooster asked Coyote, who nodded. “They’re not that affectionate?”

“Maybe five strangers staring at them makes them a little uncomfortable,” Coyote suggested, taking a sip from his beer.

Hangman eventually led his family to the back of the Hard Deck, dreading the conversation that awaited him. Jake’s wife glanced up at the Daggers, who were clearly waiting for them, before turning to Jake. Nudging him gently with her hip, she jerked her head in the direction of his squad.

“Did you tell them anything?”

“Nope,” Jake replied, shaking his head. “Not a single thing.”

The family of four made their way up to the back deck. Setting Leila on the ground and taking her hand as they walked up the stairs, Hangman finally turned to face the stunned and even more curious Daggers. Leila hid a bit behind his leg, always a bit shy around strangers, but he rested a hand on her shoulder to remind her that he was there and that it was all alright.

“Everyone, this is my family. Family, these are the Daggers,” Hangman introduced, half-assed, earning an immediate poke in the side from his wife. Gritting his teeth slightly, Hangman restarted. “Daggers, this is Leila and this is Tyler and this is my wife, Sophie”

After Hangman introduced her, Sophie waved politely in greeting to the Daggers, who awkwardly waved back to her. Withholding an eyeroll, Hangman started on the introductions in the other direction.

“Guys, that’s Bob, Phoenix, Rooster, Fanboy, Payback, and you already know Coyote,” Hangman listed off, pointing at each Dagger as he spoke.

“Javy!” Leila called, running over to greet him.

“Hey, Firecracker,” Coyote joked, picking Leila up and setting her on the stool that Hangman had been sitting on before.

From there, the awkwardness slowly dissipated. Very slowly, but it did dissipate just a bit. Leila and Tyler were running around on the back deck, laughing and stretching their legs after the long car ride down from Lemoore. Hangman had switched his beer for a water and returned from inside the bar with a drink for his wife, whose order he knew from heart.

They were in the middle of a conversation, though Hangman thought that it was bordering on an interrogation with some of the other Daggers when Sophie’s phone started to buzz with a weird ringtone. In an instant, Jake turned to where Leila and Tyler were playing.

“Tyler, come over here,” he called, causing them to stop.

Hangman picked up his wife’s phone and tapped it, causing Tyler to pout. Tyler begrudgingly trudged over to where Jake and Sophie were sitting and Jake quickly scooped him up and sat him on his lap. Meanwhile, Sophie had been rifling around in her purse, pulling out a separate bag.

“Fruit snacks or the granola bar?” his wife asked Tyler, holding out both items.

Tyler quickly leaned over and grabbed the fruit snacks before turning around to hand them to Hangman. Taking them without hesitation or delay, Hangman ripped the package open and poured the fruit snacks into his hand for Tyler, who started to slowly eat them one by one. The other Daggers seemed a bit confused, though Bob instantly recognized the situation.

“He’s Type 1?” Bob guessed, causing Sophie to nod sadly.

“Yes, he is,” she replied, checking her phone again. She showed Jake her screen, causing him to encourage Tyler to eat the remaining fruit snacks in his hand, before turning back to Bob. “You know someone with Type 1?”

“No, my dad has Type 2. My sister has the same set up on her phone,” Bob explained, causing Jake’s wife to nod slowly.

Tyler seemed a bit upset, though resigned to his situation, but Hangman did his best to try and make it enjoyable for him. Teasing Tyler for his choice in fruit snacks, hiding them and pretending to find them in random spots, and other very un-Hangman-like actions that caused most of the Daggers to grow even more confused at the situation, Hangman blocked all of that out and just focused on Tyler.

“Alright, just hang on for a second, bud,” Jake told Tyler, who clearly wanted to play again.

After they were sure that Tyler’s glucose levels were stable, Hangman set Tyler back on his own two feet. Leila, who had been chatting loudly with Coyote and Fanboy, let out a shriek and started to run after her brother again as if nothing had happened to disturb them in the first place.

“How long have you known that he has it?” Rooster asked, watching Leila and Tyler play.

“About two years now,” Sophie explained, folding her arms underneath her as she rested them on the picnic table. “He was only a couple months old when his doctor suspected something. Took some time to get an official diagnosis.”

“He doesn’t seem to let it get him down,” Payback commented, watching Tyler laugh and run around Coyote.

“No, he doesn’t,” Sophie replied with a soft smile. “He’s like my sister.”

“Your sister has Type 1 too?”

“No . . . she didn’t,” Sophie stated softly, her tone earning a few confused looks.

“Leila and Tyler are her niece and nephew,” Hangman supplied, gently resting the outside of his thigh against his wife’s own to remind her that he was there for her.

“My sister and her husband died a few years ago,” Sophie continued quietly, shifting a bit in her seat. “I got custody after they passed and after Jake and I got married, he adopted them.”

And suddenly all of the pieces were starting to fall into place.

Leila eventually came running over, asking if they could go down to the beach. Sophie got up to take them down herself, not trusting two kids who grew up in desert territory to know anything about ocean water safety. And when they were gone, all eyes fell on Hangman. After a long, drawn out sigh, he slowly narrowed his eyes at his squad mates.

“If any of you fuckers even think about going to the brass about it,” Hangman vowed, pointing menacingly over at the gathered Daggers.

“Dude, no one here is looking to take insulin from a little kid,” Fanboy stated quietly.

It wasn’t exactly uncommon for service members to get married for the benefits. And hell, you would have had to have been a completely selfish, heartless, brown-nosing government lapdog to try and get someone in trouble for making sure that a kid with a treatable condition lived happily without bankrupting his family.

“How did you meet your wife then? You knew her before the kids’ parents died?”

“Yeah. We were in a long term . . . situation-ship at the time,” Hangman recalled, earning familiar looks from his teammates. “And she told me that it was a lot to handle and she didn’t expect me to hang around, especially because I was deployed at the time. I came back home to visit her and saw how stressed she looked—she was crying, Tyler was still in the hospital at that point, Leila was barely talking . . .” Jake trailed off, a dark expression coming over his face. “I didn’t think. I just told her to marry me and I’d get it figured out. And I did. They live up with me in Lemoore now.”

“And you guys have an open relationship?” Rooster guessed, earning a sharp glare from Hangman immediately.

“No,” Jake replied bluntly.

“Not even a little?” Rooster asked, alluding to Hangman’s flirtatious personality.

“No,” Hangman stated, folding his arms in front of him. “We’re not.”

“But you’re not in love, are you?”

“That’s complicated,” Jake responded, loosening his posture a bit sheepishly.

“Yes, they are,” Coyote called back, earning a look from Hangman.

“Yes, they are what?” Sophie called out, strolling forward with Leila and a soaked Tyler beside her.

“What happened?” Jake asked, standing up from the table.

“Leila thought that it would be funny to push her brother into the ocean,” Sophie returned, shooting her niece a look. “She thought wrong.”

“He kept pulling on me!” Leila whined, stomping her foot on the ground. “I told him to stop! And he didn’t listen!”

“Well, that’s no reason to try to drown him. Go, sit on the bench right there. Now,” she ordered, causing Leila to huff but follow her order.

“I’ll take him,” Jake offered, walking forward to grab a soaked Tyler from his spot next to Sophie. “Come on, Ty, let’s get you dry.”

Jake reached out his hand for the keys, which his wife handed over without even a look in his direction. It was that smooth, that natural. Jake held Tyler, who had started to shiver despite the warmth, in his arms, not caring in the slightest that some of the ocean water was now soaking his own clothes. Coyote seemed rather amused at the shocked expressions on his teammate’s faces, which Jake blatantly ignored as he strolled away.

“What?” Sophie asked, spotting their confused expressions.

“Nothing,” they all echoed back to her.

Prologue Part 2 Part 3

[ferrstappen]

hi!!! could you write something about max and reader dating and its winter break and reader gets sick. basically its just cute fluff of max taking care of her. thank you <333

this is great because its cold af (where I live) and I'm sick (both physically and mentally <3)

chicken soup l Max Verstappen blurb

You denied it.

Your brain tried denying the swelling of your throat, the heaviness of your limbs, the dizziness.

It made sense after visiting Max's family during winter break; one of the kids was sick, which meant Victoria woke up with a runny nose, Sophie with a headache, telling you and Max to go back home a bit earlier since neither Max nor you had any symptoms.

If only... the moment the small plane landed in Nice, your legs carried you to the tiny restroom, emptying your stomach, your head was spinning so bad you didn't notice Max holding your hair and rubbing circles on your back. at least, the best he could on the restricted space.

It didn't take two seconds when his phone vibrated, his sister letting him know the kids were now nauseous and dizzy.

No shit.

Max drove slower than usual, not wanting the bumps on the road to upset your head or stomach, constantly turning his head to see your eyes closed, breathing not so smoothly.

In his head, he made a plan for everything he'd do once they got home: ask if you wanted to take a shower, helping you change, choosing the best pajamas, defrosting some chicken so he could make you soup, remembering if any of you had bought some chamomile tea.

That's exactly what he did. You probably weren't aware you leaned on Max after getting out of the car, your body touching the bed and falling asleep in minutes.

It was dark when you woke up, head still pounding, forehead still warm, throat still closed, but the smell of soup was enough to drag your feet from the bedroom to the kitchen.

It was empty, no sight of Max, but a tray was already arranged with a bowl and his not-so-secret mix of green tea, honey and lemon, just a couple of teaspoons he always said, so the lemon wouldn't be too harsh, just enough to soothe the pain.

You could cry from the sight of everything Max did in a short amount of time, now you were realizing you weren't wearing the jeans and cardigan, but fluffy white pajama pants and oversized, navy blue Red Bull hoodie with his scent.

Then, you heard his voice. He was speaking with someone else, probably streaming or something, but the need to thank him was enough to open the door and carefully walking towards his seat, making sure to not show on the camera frame.

Pssst.

His head turned around and his eyes softened, arms reached for you instantly, making space so you could seat on his lap, your legs dangling over his legs and your face hidden on his face.

user1: i am so soft for them like... she is wearing red bull merch and he instantly reached out for her

user2: does he realize he's muted but still streaming???

user3: HE IS PLACING HER HAIR UNDER HER EAR I AM SO DONE WHEN IS IT MY TURN?????!!!!

"How are you feeling, schatz?" Max placed his hand on your forehead, forehead wrinkling after noticing it was still warm.

"I'm better, but you are definitely getting sick as well," You replied and Max laughed, body slightly shivering from the feeling of your breath on his neck.

"Good thing there's soup for both of us," Max kissed the top of your hair, telling you he was going to say goodbye and end the stream.

He didn't pay attention to the comments or anything, just unmuting himself and saying goodbye, carrying you to the bedroom and placing you on the bed, making sure you were comfortable before going to the kitchen.

"No, stay here," you told him, almost sounding like a toddler, even stretching your arms so he'd join you. "We can have soup later, when after your stomach starts feeling funny"

Max found his usual spot on the bed, letting his body cover yours from behind, trying to keep you as warm as possible, tightly gripping the duvet, noticing the little hairs standing up with the familiar feeling of his breathing on your neck.

He was definitely getting sick, but it'd be worth it.

[bcacstuff]

Day 3 Highlanders 7 con 21 July 2024 at the Hilton Metropole Hotel, Birmingham

Charles Q&A

They only let him do some stunts. The apple "may have" already been cut in half 😅

At his first OL audition (over zoom from his bedroom), he did a Peaky Blinders accent because thought the English all have the same accent - he works hard on it, accents don't come naturally to him

William inherited the "good Fraser fire" from Jamie but learned how to be reserved (a "board") from LJG so he often feels the conflict within himself what he is vs what he was "trained" to be

One of the auditions (all on zoom) was the Death Song scene with JB - it was weird for him to see these "fictional characters" in real life. Couldn't mention the other audition scenes because they're 7B spoilers

He had phantom pain in his arm from the stick. They sent him to London to have a mold made of his arm

He has no piano in his flat but would go to the Edinburgh train station and use the public piano

Dream role: anything - "I love employment" but likes characters that exist between good and evil

Superstitions: not for acting but the supernatural - hasn't used a Ouija board because he doesn't know if they work but what if they do??

William is "a bit of a shit" and a "brat" when we first meet him in 7A

They did audition someone else for William for S6 (those episodes would have been late in 6) but he would have been too young. Since they shortened 6, they didn't cast William until later.

Someone asked whether he was intimidated by S&C. The audience member then went on telling a story how Caitlin before she got to set, was told S&C were a "power couple" and together in real life. Then when she got there she was told opposite (you could hear people gasp when she said that)

While Charles really didn't answered above, he later on was asked what his favourite movie is, he didn't really have one but said he really loved Ford vs Ferrari, so when he met Caitriona he thought "Whoa"

Mom had watched the show but he binged it in 2 weeks when he got the audition - didn't have the part yet

Felt imposter syndrome and a lot of pressure - do I want to take on being Jamie Fraser's son?

Ultimately LJG is William's dad but important for him to find out who is he to learn about himself

This convention is "so fun" because they couldn't answer any questions during the strike and all they were asked were things like "what's your favourite colour"

Scenes that stuck out when he binged: Claire and BJR in Garrison Commander; the shinty scene

Doesn't have a go-to karaoke song - has never done karaoke. But he would do something like Tequila so all he has to say is 1 word (then they played it when he was leaving the stage)

Sophie, Richard & David

Sophie is apparently a favourite "on the internet" to play Harry Potter's mom in the HBO series. She says "I'm working on it" (ie she'd like to do it).

Their favourite locations to film - Sophie Lallybroch (inside and what they created on set); Richard - University of Glasgow; David - Hopetoun House

David making fun of the questions they always get asked (what would you take from set; what other characters would you like to play) - everyone laughs

If they could play another character, Sophie would play Rollo

Certain scene they were really proud of - Sophie birthing scene "broke some blood vessels"; David never thinks he does well - could have done it differently especially the scene where Jamie offers his body;

What cocktail would your character be: Sophie - Spicy margarita; Richard - Old Fashioned; David Pina Colada because he likes the song (doesn't know any cocktails - people were shouting them out to him)

What would you like to learn how to do: David - Magic the Gathering - watched them play last night and wants them to teach him before wrap; Richard is learning to fly

Which time period do you prefer - Brianna 50/50 - Sophie 1700s "corsets aside" especially since they're all filming together. Richard agrees. David: Lord John in modern times is living in the West Village in NYC running an art gallery called Fraser's 🤣🤣

Karaoke songs: Richard's - Piano Man; David - To be With You (Mr Big): Sophie - Party in the USA

Favourite costume - Richard "from this year" but didn't say which one (didn't want to spoil anything); David - Governor of Jamaica (Sophie says you've had some really good costumes and David said you just realized that???)

Favourite scene to film: Richard - driving around the Highlands (felt like our own little "side Outlander"); Sophie - when she confronts Bonnett in the jail (felt very empowered); David - first day, first scene he filmed dragging Sam on the horse "was a highlight on reflection"

Everyone is treated the same by production

Sophie used to be the makeup trailer DJ but Wendy has taken over

The first scene with Roger & Jamie was fun to shoot but he felt Jamie had "a bit of an overreaction"

What are you obsessed with? Richard - Magic the Gathering; David - his son; Sophie - music

Any scenes that you were intimidated by: David one coming up in 7B (we should all know what it is); Richard - intimate scenes; Sophie - ones that are emotionally challenging and you "take with you"

Question about what you're proud of. Sophie tells the story of when she potty-trained her dog. The dog became so excited he jumped on her, split her lip and she ended up in the emergency room. David then says "do you know what proud means??" • Richard - passing his driving test because he failed 3x; David - when he finished his first block of OL

Character you haven't worked with you would like to - Richard & David said each other. Richard: maybe in the next block then Sophie says "but you're in the 80s", someone mentioned Jemmy and the stones and it just went downhill from there 😅; Sophie - Black Jack

During closing ceremonies everyone is taking photos and Cree (of course) says "go on take your photos like we're animals in a zoo". Then he says something about a "gaggle of lusty women" and Sean says "there is if your name is Sam Heughan"

Sean had organized other fan events then started watching Outlander. He wanted to do an event and learned the person to contact is Steve Himber as he "represents" Sam and Caitriona to get it started. Then Steve says he's "not responsible for Steven Cree"

All credits including pics to my friend at the con (who wishes to remain anonymous) Thank you so much for keeping notes for us (and for me to post!) Great Job, well done! 🧡🧡🧡

[wonsdoll]

A STONER’S GUIDE TO GET THE GIRL › LHS

TIP 4: don’t go back to the old ways

the music was loud throughout the whole house, vibrating under heeseung’s foot as he walked inside. the air was thick of alcohol and a mix of weed, something heeseung was trying to stay away from. it was jake’s huge party, beomgyu and sunghoon knew they needed heeseung to forget you for one night and have fun. although jake was another close friend, he was also heeseung’s plug.

as heeseung tries to get through the crowd, he spots you in the corner. he took a few seconds to admire you, your short black dress, every inch of your legs visible, your curves and the way your dress hugged your body.

his heart skipped nearly a few beats when he takes note of your laughing. heeseung watches your nervous laughter, instantly making his guts twist. it wasn’t until he noticed the individuals hand meet your waist, attempting to pull you closer and get more handsy.

heeseung’s fists clench, this guy was clearly bothering you. his opportunity to forget about you was pushed away, now being faced with anger. heeseung makes his way through the crowd, his heart pounding in his chest.

“hey back off.” heeseung’s voice is firm, he steps between you and the guy. the individual is filled with confusion, he swung his beer bottle, taking a large gulp.

“i’ll be back for you just wait.” the guy mumbles, stumbling away.

you look at heeseung, full of relief and gratitude. “thank you..” your voice trembles slightly, trying to realize what happened.

heeseung nods, trying to mask his own anxiety. he was unaware of how close you were to him, the closest you’ve been since the breakup. heeseung’s nerves are on edge, and he knows he’s not in the best state of mind, emotionally. “no problem..just—just stay safe okay?”

you nod, watching him walk away and walk towards sunghoon and beomgyu. heeseung manages to catch his breath, inhaling a few times.

“woah are you okay?” beomgyu looks at you, cracking open a beer for jake.

“yeah i’m good.. y/n was getting harassed by some drunk guy..” heeseung manages to say in between inhales.

“did you save her?” sunghoon asks, offering him a beer. he takes the beer from his hand and begun chugging it.

“i did..” he mumbled, reaching out for another beer.

throughout the night, heeseung and a few of his friends consumed over 5 packages of beer, leaving them all intoxicated. this feeling of intoxicated made his memory replay from the night of his breakup.

he sat back on the couch, meanwhile everyone else was knocked out beside him. heeseung held his forehead, trying to soothe away his current headache, and a bit of his heartache.

heeseung was so lost in his thought, he didn’t realize you standing right in front of him. he jumped a bit, but calmed down quickly due to your familiar face.

“need a ride home?” you asked, a bit hopeful he’d say yes, giving you some extra time with him.

heeseung nods his head, attempting to get up on his feet. you support him with your arm as you both walked to your car.

his voice was filled with alcohol and desperation, this is what he’s wanted for a long time.

m.list • next • prev

taglist 🏷️ : @elysianiki @kairoot @sakiimeo @myungjaesgf @payformycoffeeandleave @leeheesang @mioons @jae-n0 @unhakki @rikibun @mimismenu @sophi-ee @sakanelli-afc @dollyhoons @yeahthisisjustme @nikiswifiee @isabellah29 @mxhlvr @i03jae @luvqirls @onlyhyunjin @clampclover @coqhee @ikeublr @moons-v @iheartjayke @istphanie @felixbrownies @icewons @heartheejake @femmefqtqle @stormy1408 @llvrhee @isa942572 @ministrawberrywithchocolate @lizb107 @jinostooth @wonsprincess @xxxnrigi @strawberr3-moon @simpjay @vmpivory @jk5t4r @vixialuvs @gweoriz @dissoc1ating @milkycloudtyg @xyzyx01 @miumura

sav’s notes 💭: sorry for the long update !! i start school this week so updates may be slower than before ^_^ thank u for the ongoing support & love !

[hornyfor-redacted-onmain]

The One With Friends

Pieces of My Heart - Chapter 7 Stray Kids OT8 x reader, Soulmate AU

Masterlist | Next Part

It was a unanimous decision to have you leave the venue from the back and walk over to the entrance to wait in line with the rest of the crowds. None of you wanted nor needed the attention you could get if someone noticed you coming from backstage.

It’s for that very reason you made sure to hide your backstage pass deep in your bag, pulling out the upgraded tickets that the boys’ manager got for you.

You sent out a message once you got into line.

Soulmates

Y/N Guess who’s about to see Stray Kids live? Image.png Felix Omg really? Lucky Jisung And you didn’t invite me?!! How dare you （ > ﹏ &lt; ） Chris Enjoy the concert. Felix Oh yeah, they’ll enjoy it alright ;) Chris Felix …

You let out a laugh, which quickly turned into cooing when Felix sent a selfie with a reluctant Seungmin, and you quickly closed your phone before anyone around you could see it (but not after saving it to your phone first). The line wasn’t moving just yet, so most people were either on their phones like you or chatting with each other.

You got into a fun conversation with the boy in front of you about your favorite choreographies, and then the girls behind you caught wind of your argument over how easy Maniac’s chorus really was and decided to start dancing to it. This caused the others in line to start cheering, and you were quick to film the moment to send to the boys later.

Once the doors were open and people were being let in, the line started to move quickly. Since you had arrived a little bit later, it took you a while to get in, but the conversations you enjoyed with other fans and the occasional text to the boys more than made up for it.

You found your seat easily, a girl with bright pink hair and a tall lanky boy with glasses sitting in the spot next to yours. You didn’t think much about it, sitting down and about to text the boys that you were inside the venue when the girl suddenly turned to face you with a blinding smile.

You turned your phone off to hide your chat.

“Hey, I love your outfit!”

You blinked at her. “Umm, thank you! I love your hair.”

“My name’s Sophie!”

“Soph, please. You can’t just start spontaneous conversations with every person you meet,” The boy piped up, placing an arm on the girl’s arm.

Sophie pouted. “But I really did like their outfit.”

“It’s okay,” I reassured. “I really do like your hair.”

You introduced yourself to Sophie, who then introduced the boy sitting next to her as her boyfriend, Alexis.

“Don’t mind him, he thinks it’s embarrassing to be as friendly as me.”

“I never said that. I think it’s adorable, but I know not everyone does,” Alexis argued.

“No, you just think I’m adorable,” Sophie corrected.

You let out a giggle. “You are kind of adorable.”

“I know!”

Both of you laughed. You spent the next few minutes chatting and getting to know each other, and you found that you had a lot in common with Sophie. The pinkette was easily excitable and a bit loud, which made her bias being Han unsurprising. Alexis was also surprisingly a Han bias, and you found yourself gasping when they admitted that they had met at a fan sign and were fangirling over Han next to each other in line.

It was like a moment out of a movie when they realized they were soulmates, sharing a hidden soulmark that they discovered months into dating each other.

“Have you met your soulmate?” Sophie asked, smiling at you in such an endearing way.

You returned the smile. “Yeah.”

“Oooh. Are they a stray kids fan?”

“I sure hope they are,” You said with a laugh.

The lights started to dim then, and the both of you immediately grew silent for a split second before the music started, and then everyone started to scream. Even though you had spent the past two days literally in the arms of the men who would be performing, you screamed along with the others in excitement as they came on stage.

You knew just from the double take Seungmin made in your direction that you were going to be teased relentlessly for it later, but in that moment, you couldn’t find it in you to care. Sophie echoed your screams, and the both of you shared a brief look in your excitement.

During the next 2 hours, the two of you would sing along to the songs, laugh at the members antics, and chat with each other during the moments between songs. When Sophie made a mad dash to the bathrooms the second the fan dance cam began, Alexis leaned over to whisper to you.

“Hey, thanks for not brushing her off. It’s nice to see Soph having fun with someone else.”

You frowned. “Yeah, sure. I mean, she’s really cool. Do people … brush her off a lot?”

“You’d be surprised,” Alexis told you.

When Sophie returned, since the next song had yet to begin, you took the opportunity to ask her for her number. Her face lit up in excitement and astonishment, and you found yourself feeling annoyed that anyone could ever push her away. Sure, she was a little loud and overly excitable, but it seemed like you were the first person to ever want to be her friend.

You made sure to periodically check in on her for the rest of the concert, which ended far too soon.

"That was amazing," Sophie gushed.

"I know!"

"Did you see when Han hugged Seungmin from behind? Ugh! So cute."

"Or when Changbin winked at Hyunjin and then got surprised when Hyunjin winked back. I was laughing so hard!"

"Babe, what was your favorite part?"

Alexis hummed, moving to grab Sophies waist when she stumbled trying to walk backwards. "I might be a bit biased, but when 3racha were singing their song, Han was looking a little too fine. I'm pretty sure a couple people died when he stuck out his tongue."

"Ugh, a menace that man is. He does it on purpose, I swear."

You laughed at them as they pretended to fan themselves, and as you walked with the pair towards the exit you suddenly remembered your plans to meet the boys backstage after the show. The route you would need to take was in the opposite direction to the exit you were heading towards.

You paused.

"Hey, it was really nice meeting you two, but I actually have to head over that way," You told them, pointing towards the other exit.

"Hmm? Oh, I was going to offer you a ride back to your place since you mentioned not having a car … are you going to uber?"

"Nah, my … my soulmate is going to give me a ride."

Sophie nodded. "Cool. Do you want us to wait until you meet up with them?"

You blinked, letting out an awkward laugh. "Oh, no. That's fine. I think they're already here anyways."

This time it was Alexis who spoke up. "We can walk you to their car. Its dark out, it might not be safe for you to be walking around alone."

"No, really. It's fine," You assured them, finding yourself panicking. "Really, its not that far."

You were touched by their worry, and if this was any other situation you wouldn't have hesitated to accept the couple's offer. But you couldn't exactly have them see you get in a car with Stray Kids without it spelling out your situation in large bold letters.

Sophie frowned, looking very much like she'd like to continue to argue with you, but Alexis just nodded.

"Fair enough. You should let us know when you get home safe though, just in case."

Your shoulders slumped in relief. "Yeah, that would be great."

You exchanged numbers quickly, and you gave the pair a quick wave as you turned around. The stadium was almost empty at this point, most people already having made their way out through the exits and leaving behind a handful of staff members who started cleaning up in their absence. You almost ran head first into the chest of one of those staff members as you turned around, and you took a few steps back with your hand raised.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't see you there."

The staff member gave you an easy smile, and then proceeded to say your name with a questioning tone. Sophie and Alexis looked back from where they had begun to leave.

You nodded your head slowly

"Your soulmates sent me to get you," The guy said cheerfully.

You froze.

The staff member motioned for you to follow them, and you only managed to get a glimpse of Sophie as you shot a look over your shoulder. Her brows were furrowed in confusion, and you gave her a quick wave, hoping the panic that you were feeling didn’t show on your face. You didn’t get to see if she returned the wave as you turned around quickly to make sure you didn’t trip over the piles of confetti that other staff members were sweeping up, and if you weren’t so confused and worried, you might have offered to help them.

Chris was waiting for you outside the waiting room, and the moment you caught sight of him you rushed past the staff member to hug him.

“I think I fucked up,” You groaned.

He patted your back. “What happened?”

You explained the situation as he led you back into the room, and not even the sight of a shirtless Felix could make you feel better. The others listened in as you explained how some random fan might have enough information to put together the puzzle pieces to who your soulmates were.

“Sophie seemed really nice, and I don’t think she’d ever do something like that, but … ugh!”

You expected them to be upset. But you were surprised when Chris simply smiled at you, telling you not to worry. The others looked more or less unphased at the news, Hyunjin even leaning back into the couch with a pout, saying something in Korean. Changbin nodded in agreement, running over to steal you out of Chris’s arms.

“I don’t care if world finds out. You my soulmate, I am proud.”

“But you’re idols. This kind of news could ruin your career!”

The group began to protest, but Changbin cut them off by grabbing your face in between his hands so he could look you in the eyes. “I have your initials on my body since the moment I was born. I have always knowed that I belong to you, and I don’t care if everyone else knows. Only thing that matters, is you.”

“Binnie-“

“Also, I want to sleep with you tonight.”

You brain froze. “Come again?”

“Hey, hey!” Jisung protested.

Chris sighed. “Poor choice of words, Bin.”

Changbin looked around at the others, his face twisting in confusion. “Ah, Minho sleep with you last night. I … want my turn?”

“Oh, yeah. Right.” You let out a giggle. “Of course you can sleep with me tonight”

“Poor choice of words!”

“Get your mind out of the gutter, Felix!”

0o0o0

You ended up seated in between Seungmin and Jeongin on the way back. While exiting the venue, the boys told you to hide, so you squeezed yourself down onto the floor until you were far enough away that you could get back into your seat, nearly falling into Jeongin’s lap as you did. He pulled you into his arms as soon as you were next to him.

“Jagi, did you enjoy the concert?”

You nodded enthusiastically, immediately gushing to both him and the others in the car (Chan and Minho) about your favorite moments and how much you enjoyed the concert. Halfway through your explanation, Seungmin reached over and grabbed your hand. You didn’t falter for a second, intertwining your fingers as you praised Jeongin for his performance to Thunderous, and you cooed when he got shy and tried to hide behind his hands.

“Leave the baby alone, love,” Chan told you from the front seat, his face betraying his own amusement.

“Poor baby bread,” You played along. “So shy now, but you definitely weren’t shy during the concert. Don’t think I didn’t see you wink at me during Red Lights.”

“Hmm, don’t think I didn’t see you fanning yourself when he did,” Seungmin said.

“Man, why would you call me out like that?”

The boys all laughed, and you giggled along with them. When you arrived to the hotel, you all split off to get ready for bed individually, and you took the opportunity to send a message to Sophie that you were back at your hotel. She replied immediately.

Sophie

Sophie That’s great!!! So, about your soulmate … Y/N I know. I wasn’t sure how to explain. Sophie You could have just told me that your soulmate was a staff member. I think it’s sweet they sent a coworker to make sure you were able to get backstage. Y/N Oh. Yeah. I mean, I needed to be safe about it. Sophie No, yeah. I understand. Just out of curiosity though, did you get to meet Stray Kids. Y/N Haha, Yes! They were amazing! Super nice, it’s a shame I didn’t get any photos or an autograph. Sophie Man, that does suck. But you’re so lucky you got to meet them at all.

You felt a little bad about not telling Sophie the truth, but technically you didn’t lie. You just … didn’t tell her the whole truth. It took a huge weight of your shoulders. As much as Changbin and the others insisted it wasn’t a big deal, you knew just how vicious the internet could be to idols and other celebrities when they found their soulmate.

You would protect them for as long as you could.

[i-ship]

Here goes, my take on Sam and Cait’s crazy relationship.

// With Outlander done filming, Caitriona is leaving Scotland for LA, and Sam has one last thing to tell her before she leaves //

Long, angsty, fluffy piece. Let me know what you think ♥️

/ One last time /

Caitríona adjusted the wine bottles on the table, her eyes scanning the living room one last time. A cluster of empty glasses and half-finished plates sat on the coffee table, remnants of the night’s laughter and chatter. She glanced out the window at the Glasgow skyline, the city she’d called home for almost a decade.

The farewell party had been her idea. A proper send-off, she’d said, though the truth was, she hated goodbyes. Especially this one. With Outlander wrapped and her next big projects calling from across the Atlantic, she and her family were moving to Los Angeles. It made sense—work was there, and a toddler wasn’t exactly built for Scottish winters.

The cast had all come. Rick brought a bottle of something expensive and bad jokes. Sophie brought her dog, who immediately tried to raid the charcuterie board. Everyone laughed, took selfies, and talked about the wild ride they’d shared over the years. Everyone except Sam, who’d lingered on the edges all night, nursing a drink and saying little.

Now, as the last of the crew filed out with hugs and promises to stay in touch, Sam stood by the door, looking as though he wanted to be anywhere else but here—or maybe exactly here.

“You’re still here,” she said, not looking at him. Her voice was light, almost dismissive.

“Didn’t want to leave things like this,” Sam said, his voice gruffer than usual. “Figured I owed ye a proper goodbye.”

She paused, setting down the glasses. “Goodbye’s a bit overdue, don’t you think? Or were you planning to skulk in the corner all night and call it a day?”

Sam’s jaw tightened, his hands buried deep in his jacket pockets. “Didn’t seem like the right time to talk about… this.”

Her laugh was sharp, cutting. “Oh, this? And what exactly is ‘this,’ Sam? Go on, enlighten me.”

He hesitated, his gaze dropping to the floor like he was reading invisible lines off the carpet.

“Look, Cait…” He let out a breath, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m not good at this kind of thing.”

“Oh, don’t I know it,” she said dryly, folding her arms. “Go on, then. What’s rattling around in that head of yours?”

Sam’s mouth twitched, almost a smile, but it didn’t stick. “I just wanted to say I’m sorry. For… well, everything.”

Her laughter was sharp, not unkind but laced with disbelief. “That’s a bit vague, don’t you think? Care to narrow it down?”

“For us,” he said plainly. “For screwing it up. For letting you go.”

Caitríona’s arms dropped to her sides, her expression shifting. “Sam, it’s been years. Don’t do this now.”

“I know the timing’s shite,” he admitted, stepping closer. “But I couldn’t let you leave without saying it. You deserved better from me, Cait. Always did.”

Her lips pressed into a thin line, and for a moment, she looked as though she might dismiss him entirely. But then her shoulders sagged, and the tension in her voice gave way to exhaustion.

“Why now?” she asked, her tone quieter. “Why wait until I’ve packed up my life to say this?”

“Because I’m a coward,” he said simply. “And because I’ve spent every day since regretting it.”

She flinched at his honesty, her jaw tightening. “You had your chance, Sam. And you made your choice. You don’t get to rewrite history just because you’re finally ready to feel bad about it.”

“You think I don’t know that?” he snapped, his voice rising before he caught himself. “I know I made a mess of it. But I couldn’t just let you leave thinking I didn’t care. That I didn’t—” He stopped himself, his jaw working.

“Didn’t what?” she pressed.

“Didn’t love you,” he finished, his voice soft but unflinching. “Still do, if you want the truth of it.”

Caitríona stared at him, her eyes glassy but sharp. “Don’t say that, Sam. Don’t you dare.”

“I’m not trying to ruin your life, Cait,” he said, his tone steady despite the emotion brimming underneath. “I just… I needed you to know.”

Her laugh was bitter now, her hands curling into fists. “What exactly do you expect me to do with that, huh? Just pack up my family and run off with you? Fuck you, Sam.”

“I don’t expect anything,” he said. “I just couldn’t let you leave without hearing it from me. That’s all.”

She shook her head, a tear finally slipping down her cheek. “You don’t get it, do you? You broke me, Sam. And I had to put myself back together while you went off gallivanting with—God, with whoever would swipe right.”

“You think I wanted to?” he said, his voice cracking. “You think it didn’t rip me apart to see you with him? To watch you settle for Tony bloody McGill?”

Her eyes narrowed, her breath hitching. “Don’t you dare talk about him.”

“It’s true, though, isn’t it?” he pressed, stepping closer. “He’s safe. Reliable. A bloody beige cardigan of a man.”

Her laugh was bitter. “At least he stayed.”

Sam’s voice cracked as he snapped back, “Do you think I wanted to leave? Do you think I don’t hate myself for how I handled it?”

Her voice was sharp, cutting. “And what? You think that justifies it? You think it’s some grand tragedy that you wanted me but couldn’t handle me? Grow up, Sam.”

Her words were low, dangerous. “You think I wanted Tony because I wanted ‘safe’? I wanted you, Sam. I wanted the man who made me feel alive, the one who made me think I could have it all. And then you—” She shook her head, choking on the words. “You let me down. Every time.”

His frustration boiled over, a mix of anger and regret. He moved closer, his eyes fierce, but there was something broken in his gaze. “You think I don’t know that? You think I don’t know that I fucked it up?” His voice cracked, but he didn’t back down. “But you never let me back in. You never gave me the chance to make it right. Every time we came close to something real, you pulled away. And I… I didn’t know how to fix it. I was scared, Cait.”

Caitríona took a step back, her eyes wild, but she couldn’t stop the heat rising between them. She’d spent so long trying to get over him, so long holding onto the anger, but now, everything was crumbling. “Scared?” she echoed bitterly, her laugh short and humorless. “Is that what you tell yourself, Sam? That you were just scared? That it’s all my fault for not waiting around while you played the field with your—” She broke off, her eyes stinging with the memories of his casual flings, of seeing him with anyone who was willing. “With your models and your apps, and every other bloody distraction you could find. I had to move on.”

Sam stepped forward, closing the distance between them. His voice lowered, hoarse, raw. “You didn’t move on,” he said, his voice cracking. “You settled.”

She shook her head, tears streaking her cheeks now. “Don’t you dare,” she whispered, her voice barely audible. “Don’t you dare tell me I settled. Because I didn’t. I never settled. I tried to move on, Sam. I tried.”

The anger in his eyes softened for a moment, but the hurt in his voice was unmistakable. “I tried too, Cait. But it was you. Every damn time. I could never get you out of my head. Every damn love scene we shot… I knew what you wanted. You wanted me, just like I wanted you. But we couldn’t. It was torture.”

The intensity between them was almost unbearable. “I could feel your heart pounding, Cait. Every time we kissed. Every time I held you close, I felt you—felt your body pressing against mine like you couldn’t get enough.”

She stepped back again, almost as if she were trying to escape the suffocating air between them. But he followed her, the words tumbling out before he could stop them.

“I felt you every damn time, Cait. In those scenes. When we kissed, I could feel you pull back, like you were just as afraid as I was, but we kept going because neither of us could stop. I couldn’t stop wanting you. I couldn’t stop feeling you in every fucking kiss, every touch. The way your breath hitched when I got close… I couldn’t escape it. You never let me escape it.”

Her breath caught, and her chest tightened with a mix of longing and rage. “And then you left, Sam. And then you walked away from me. And I stayed. I stayed and built a life with someone who wasn’t you. And you—” Her voice cracked, the fury breaking apart. “You couldn’t love me enough to try.”

Her anger had shifted to raw pain, and Sam could see it now—he could feel it in every word she said.

“You were never supposed to have to choose,” he whispered, almost as if to himself. “I was never supposed to be the one to walk away. But I was too fucked up to give you what you needed. And it destroyed me watching you move on.”

He reached out, his hand grazing her cheek, his thumb wiping away a tear. “But this… this is the last thing I’ll ever do to you, Cait. I’ll never let you leave thinking I didn’t care. I loved you then, I love you now. I always have. Always will.”

She could feel his breath on her skin, his words sinking deep inside her, but she stopped him before he could take another step. She took a step back, her chest heaving as the tears finally broke free. “I can’t. Sam… I can’t.”

He didn’t let her go, though. He closed the gap once more, pressing her back against the wall, his body firm and urgent against hers. The air was thick, their emotions raw, the alcohol clouding their senses. He kissed her hard, his lips desperate, knowing that this was the last time—knowing they could never go back. She responded, her hands gripping his shirt, pulling him closer, as if they could make up for all the time lost.

The kiss was wild, furious, and all-consuming. His hands tangled in her hair, hers clutching desperately at his chest, as though letting go would destroy them both. Years of longing and regret poured into every movement, every breath.

He pushed her back against the wall, his lips trailing down her neck as she gasped, her hands tightening around him. She pulled him back to her, their mouths meeting again with a ferocity that left them both breathless.

It was raw, unrestrained, and utterly devastating.

“Sam… please. I can’t.” Her voice was broken, the weight of everything finally crashing down on her. “I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep breaking myself for you.”

He stood there, his forehead pressed against hers, his chest rising and falling with each breath. “I never meant to break you, Cait. I swear.”

The room was heavy with silence, save for the soft sound of their breaths mingling in the tense space. Sam’s eyes were locked on Caitríona, her tear-streaked face a mix of pain, fury, and something deeper—something she couldn’t quite name, even if she tried. He could feel the air between them crackle, thick with everything they’d buried for years.

Sam’s hands cradled her face, his thumbs brushing the tears streaking her cheeks. His voice, raw and hoarse, cut through the haze between them.

“You think this is easy for me? That I don’t feel like a damn fool for wanting you even now? Every scene, Cait… every time we touched, kissed, looked at each other, I felt it. Felt you. Your pulse racing, your breath hitching—hell, I could barely keep myself together, and you knew it.”

She swallowed hard, her hands trembling at her sides. “And that’s supposed to mean what, Sam? That you were tortured, what, because you wanted something you chose to throw away?”

“No.” His jaw tightened, his words sharp with frustration. “It means I couldn’t stop wanting you no matter what I told myself. Every damn second of every day, you were it for me. And I couldn’t have you—not the way I wanted—not the way you deserved. You think I don’t hate myself for that?”

She laughed bitterly, stepping out of his hold. “Oh, you hate yourself? That’s rich, Sam. You hate yourself, and I was the one left picking up the pieces every time you broke my heart. Do you even know what that did to me? To let you back in, over and over, even when I knew you’d leave?”

His voice lowered, rough with regret. “I know. God, Cait, I know. But I couldn’t stay away. Even after you started seeing him, I couldn’t stop myself. And you couldn’t either.”

Her breath caught, and she stepped closer, her anger flaring. “You don’t get to throw that in my face. You think I wanted to keep coming back to you? To betray what little chance I had at moving on? You made it impossible, Sam. You made me impossible.”

His lips quirked into a bitter smile. “And yet here we are. Still impossible.”

The air between them crackled, the tension unbearable. She grabbed his collar, her voice trembling. “Why do you do this to me? Why can’t I just—”

Her words dissolved as his lips crashed against hers. There was nothing gentle in it, nothing held back—just years of pent-up longing and frustration spilling out in the space between them. She clung to him, her fingers twisting in his shirt as if anchoring herself to him.

He pulled her closer, his breath mingling with hers as he murmured against her lips, “Tell me you don’t feel it, Cait. Tell me it’s not still there.”

Caitríona’s chest tightened. He was right. She had felt it—felt the way her body responded to his even when they were just standing next to each other. She’d tried to block it out, tried to keep it professional, but the truth was, she couldn’t stop herself. She couldn’t stop wanting him, even though she hated herself for it.

Sam growled, his hands threading through her hair as he yanked her into him, pressing his lips to hers in a kiss that was like the explosion of everything they had kept locked away for so long.

It was frantic, desperate—two people who couldn’t hold back any longer. His hands roamed over her body, tasting, feeling, needing her. Her lips parted, giving him everything. Their kiss was a storm, consuming them both. She could feel his heart pounding against hers, could feel the heat of him seeping into her skin, her body responding without hesitation.

They stumbled toward the wall, and for a moment, the world outside ceased to exist. It was just them, tangled in this fight of passion, every touch sparking the fire that had been waiting to ignite for years.

Sam’s hands slipped beneath her shirt, pressing her body flush against his. She shivered, not from the cold, but from the electricity that raced through her, the way he made her feel more alive than she had in months. In that moment, she hated herself more for how badly she wanted him, but she couldn’t stop. She couldn’t pull away.

Her hands found his jeans, tugging at them with a force she didn’t know she had. The world was spinning, and the only thing that mattered was the feeling of him, of them together in a way that had never been possible before.

She gasped, pulling back for a split second, breathless, her voice trembling. “God, Sam… we can’t—”

“Please,” he whispered, his voice low. “Please. I’ve been waiting for this, Cait. Waiting for you.”

And she knew, in that moment, that she couldn’t fight it anymore. She didn’t want to.

As their lips met again, deeper this time, all the words left her, and she gave herself up completely to the feeling, to the chaos of what they were creating. There was no turning back now.

[aspenaspenaspenaspenaspen]

I don’t like how the Sokeefe confession went down, because it felt so abrupt compared to the build up of the series.

I think this because the whole series it’s Keefe who’s loved Sophie since the beginning, Keefe who hinted his feelings and flirted with her, and Keefe who couldn’t confess. And it was Sophie who couldn’t figure out her feelings and was oblivious to his. So it felt strange that though Keefe technically confessed first in the letter he left, it was Sophie who initiated the actual confession.

I understand that all the build up for Sophie confessing was in Stellarlune, but it just didn’t fit with the rest of the series, and honestly, felt unfair to Keefe (from a readers stand point, I’m sure he’s very happy in cannon). He should have been the one to confess.

I’ve heard people complaining that Chapter 42 was written like a fan fiction, and I disagree with this statement for two reasons, one that I think this is supposed to be insulting the actual writing of the scene, and I would never insult Shannon Messangers writing, and two because I don’t like to spread that fanfic writing is bad because fan fiction can have some amazing writing.

However I can see the similarities to Chapter 42 and fanfiction. As an avid reader of fanfiction, a reader can tell when the fanfic author is just writing a confession as a way to get the characters to kiss, the confession may be abrupt without a lot of build up, but also may just be very easy and quick. And that’s sort of how I felt reading the Sokeefe confession. It felt too easy for all the build up and angst and unrequited but eventually requited love that is Sokeefe.

Keefe should have been the one to confess, and Sophie should of had a harder time accepting feelings instead of pining for Keefe the entirety (?) or Stellarlune, and it should have been more difficult. Also Ro shouldn’t have been peer pressuring Sophie….

….And that’s the real controversial take here. Because, I do genuinely believe Sophie likes Keefe in cannon. I’m not a big Sokeefe shipper but I saw where this was going throughout the series. However in cannon, to the reader, it looks like Ro had to convince Sophie that she liked Keefe, and even if I think she does, it still feels like peer pressure when reading it. And I think Keefe would also be disappointed if he heard that it was Ro who convinced Sophie that she like him, because it should have been Sophie battling with her own feelings, not Ro telling her how she feels (regardless of if she was correct).

If I were to rewrite the Sokeefe part of Stellarlune, I would’ve have Sophie understanding that part of the letter, but pushing down her feelings and choosing to be oblivious in order to avoid facing her feelings when she already has so much going on. Have her think about Keefe while he’s gone, and be jealous of Biana (or suspicious whatever you’d call it) in that one scene but have her obviously be falsely justifying it in order to push down those romantic feelings.

Then when she does find Keefe, make her avoid mentioning the letter at all costs. Have it hang over their heads at every moment their alone together, have it be awkward. Then, on accident have her mention the letter. Let there be a pause.

Let Keefe be a bit bitter about Sophie refusing to acknowledge anything. Have him be all like “oh so you did see the letter.”

Have Sophie still refuse to talk about it. “yeah, I guess I was so distracted with trying to find you I didn’t really think about it (lying). was there anything important in there?”

Have Keefe’s eyes turn dark “no, I guess not. (lying)” and have him rudely stalk of.

Then later have them doing something for the black swan with their friends, looking over scrolls, idk research or something.

Have Sophie be frustrated after the scrolls don’t tell them anything important. “why can’t the author of these just tell us what this means?” She should grumble

And Keefe should say “well maybe you should read between the lines to figure out what they mean.”

Sophie throws down the scroll in her hands “well maybe people should just say what they mean instead of writing it down in a way that can mean anything!!” Keefe sets down his scroll, walking off outside. No one else knows what’s going on but Sophie sighs and follows him out.

“Keefe! Wait!” She shouts. Keefe would whirl around, tears in his eyes.

“Don’t you think I’ve waited long enough?”

Sophie stares at him, surprised that he’s crying.

“I’ve waited this whole time to because I didn’t want to pressure you. But you can’t even acknowledge it.”

“Because I don’t know what “it” is! You left, and you leave me this note, and I’m just supposed to understand what it means?”

“You know what it means! Why else would I write it?”

“You wrote it because you were leaving-“

“I WROTE IT BECAUSE I LOVE YOU”

“YOU WROTE IT BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT YOU’D NEVER SEE ME AGAIN!”

Suddenly there are tears in Sophie’s eyes too. “You’re accusing me of avoiding all this but you were just as willing to! You didn’t want to confront me with your feelings so you wrote down your confession, but now you’re back and all you can do is shout it at me.”

Keefe takes a step closer, his eyes wide.

“How am I supposed to know you mean it if you don’t say it?” Sophie looks down, tugging at an eyelash.

Keefe takes another step closer, taking her hand in his. His voice is croaky and wet but each word is clear.

“Sophie Foster…I love you.”

And that’s when it all hits Sophie, because that’s everything she needed to hear and all the things she’s been stuffing down comes up and hits her all at once, and she physically stumbles into Keefe.

“Foster?” Keefe asks, catching her. Sophie looks up and makes eye contact with him.

“I think I’ve just fallen for you.” (The joke is that she actually fell over. In case it wasn’t clear.)

[amberjazmyn]

you're only human, just a little human 💔🥹

pairing : max verstappen x fem!reader

summary : five times max verstappen should have cried but didn't + the one time he finally cries 

warnings :  j*s verstappen (yes, that's a warning), a swear word, dodgy english to dutch translations, self-depricating jokes, trauma, tears (that should have happened, sad and happy) sad max verstappen (once again, that's a warning because sad max is devastating) and a little bit of christina perri because her songs (especially human) are devastating

a/n : when i first wrote this for wattpad, i was lowkey shocked that i remembered it as well as i did when i first thought about it! don't forget to like and reblog. comment too and don't be shy to request a fic!

one

the first time that max verstappen should have cried but didn't was when he had to first leave his younger sister and mum after the divorce of his parents. sophie and jos verstappen's marriage, whilst at the beginning seemed great, that 'greatness' would not last for much longer. at the ages of eight and six, max and victoria verstappen would be separated from one another. victoria staying with their mum and max with their dad as max's possible career as a formula 1 driver was something that was becoming stronger each passing day. and it was devastating having to move away from his mum and sister, little max wasn't sure why little victoria couldn't just, come with them so then max and victoria could be together with both of their parents rather than have one kid with one parent. in all honesty, it felt a little anti-climactic that jos verstappen felt like the best idea after the divorce was to split up his children however, of course, max nor victoria were able to try and stop it otherwise the likelihood of jos getting violent was very clear. and, obviously, being ages eight and six, that was not something that the two little verstappens wanted. seeing their dad get violent was never fun and it was scary. 

at first, max did cry when he was younger. of course he did, every baby cries, that's how we are brought into the world as humans, female or male, doesn't matter. crying is the only way babies and toddlers that aren't able to talk are able to let people know how they feel. whether they are hungry, tired or unwell, they will cry to let their parents or just someone know that they need help. however, because of the way jos brought up his two kids, max specifically, he would tell max to suck it up and to stop crying as the eight year old got older. telling him that crying was weak and he couldn't stand the thought of having a weepy, weak son who he'd one day want to have as a famous formula 1 driver. because in jos' eyes, formula 1 drivers weren't 'babies'. in jos' eyes, formula 1 drivers were robots that were incapable of expressing true human emotions. and that was what he was 'training' little max verstappen to become. a robot that was incapable of expressing how he really felt because the fear of his father's wrath was more powerful and something he never ever wanted to cross in his lifetime. and, in a moment where he should have joined his mum and little sister victoria in their tears, he didn't. all because of how terrified he was of his father catching him crying. even though any other parent (sophie included) would have completely understood little max's tears, jos was not that nice or understanding nor was he capable of having those human emotions himself. 

sophie felt tears well in her eyes as she picked up little six-year-old victoria verstappen. it was a devastating thought that she would be letting her eight-year-old son, her first born, away with her ex-husband, the father of her two kids. that and the fact that she truly had no idea when she would have the opportunity to see her little boy again. especially since jos had been quite adamant of him taking max with him and leaving victoria with sophie. 

victoria was devastated. she was hysterical as she watched the way her dad and older brother max could just easily up and leave her and sophie so easily. just so max could improve his karting skills. however, whilst she was only six, it was obvious that this was something to do with her dad. whilst max loved driving and cars because he was a little boy, what else did little boys enjoy as kids other than cars, especially ones that were really fast like race cars? however, this was clearly more of a thing for jos and his bruised ego from when he didn't do well enough as a formula 1 racer himself. and because victoria was so devastated, she hoped that if she cried just enough, it would get a reaction from max, making him feel guilty and decide to come back to be with her and their mum rather than leave with jos. 

however, it was clear to sophie as well as max that victoria's loud wails and hysterics were bringing jos to a boiling point. of course, if the man even tried to think about advancing at victoria over her emotions, he would wish he didn't. especially in front of not just one of their kids but both of them. 

warning her ex-husband, sophie stood firm, holding her hysterical daughter tightly, "denk er niet eens over na, jos!" sophie narrowed her eyes as jos bit his lip in a moment of tense anger, victoria still hysterical and max in the middle of it all unsure on how to react don't even think about it, jos!

"denk eens na, sofie? wat dacht je dat ik ging doen?" jos grumbled, folding his arms over one another, max trying to calm his little sister down, sophie noticing and smiling at her eldest lovingly think about what sophie? what did you think i was going to do?

"je weet verdomd goed wat je ging doen en dat laat ik je niet toe!" sophie's voice started to match her ex-husbands and it was clear the distress for little victoria was too much you bloody well know what you were about to do and i will not let you!

victoria was so hysterical and distressed to the point where the only person who could now calm her down was older brother max. so, sophie let the little girl wriggle out of her grip and rush over to her older brother who took the both of them back inside their house whilst their parents continued arguing and raising their voices at one another. 

comforting his little sister with sweet nothings in dutch and little coos, max knew why his parents were arguing. and it wasn't just because it was clear that jos was ready to strike victoria because she was crying and he couldn't handle his own crying kids. only knowing how to resort to physical abuse because maybe that was the way he was treated as a child when he cried? honestly, max had no idea why jos always got so aggravated when he or victoria would cry. they were arguing because jos wanted to separate their family and take max away from sophie and victoria. whilst it was obvious that maybe, max could get very good in karting and then later on be a formula 1 driver but, was it necessary to take him away entirely from his mum and younger sister? 

both max and victoria jumped in fear from hearing their mum scream at their father, "omdat je niet weet hoe je met je eigen emoties moet omgaan, als je twee kinderen emoties tonen, is het eerste dat in je opkomt om ze daarvoor te straffen en dat is niet oké! daarom huilt max niet meer, omdat hij zo bang is dat je hem pijn doet dat hij fysiek niet meer in staat is om te huilen terwijl hij zou moeten zijn, omdat hij gedwongen wordt zijn moeder en zusje te verlaten!" it was obvious from hearing that from his mother that jos was going to hit or discipline victoria physically for crying if sophie hadn't stopped him and that scared max because you don't know how to handle your own emotions, when your two children show emotions, the first thing that comes into your mind is to punish them for it and that is not okay! that's why max doesn't cry anymore, because he's so afraid of you hurting him that he's physically unable to cry now when he should be because he's being forced to leave his mum and baby sister!

now max really didn't want to leave with his dad without his mum and sister. this outburst of his father about to strike his little sister for crying over having to say goodbye to her older brother was terrifying. it was the first time that max had really seen it from a different perspective as it was always him getting the verbal implications of jos' wrath if he ever dared slip up and accidentally show emotion in front of his father, not the other way around. this was the first time he had ever come close to seeing what happened to him happen to victoria. and he was only eight years old at eight, you shouldn't have to worry about being struck because he was expressing his emotions and crying. no one should be physically disciplined for crying when they have no other way to properly express how they're feeling. 

expecting to hear their father to yell, defend or even do anything in response to their mum's claim, they were shocked to hear nothing come out of their father's mouth. slowly coming back to the front door, they noticed how their father just stood opened mouth, like a fish, in shock at what their mother had just yelled at him. his silence proved to sophie more so than it proved it to max and victoria that she was correct in her claims. that because he didn't know how to handle his own emotions, whenever someone else, his kids specifically, showed emotions he wasn't familiar with, he would get violent. 

eventually, sophie and jos stopped arguing and eventually, it was time for jos and max to leave sophie and victoria. and it was as awful as anyone could have imagined it. except, max didn't cry but he really should have. 

"doei victoria, ik zie je snel schat. gedraag je voor mama, ik hou van je!" max whispered, hugging his little sister for one last time in the safety of his mother's arms, victoria being picked up again by her so jos couldn't get to her if he did have another violent outburst bye victoria, i'll see you soon darling. behave for mummy, i love you!

whilst she wasn't entirely hysterical anymore, victoria still had tears streaming down her little chubby cheeks as she farewelled her older brother, "doei maxie! ik beloof dat ik me voor mama zal gedragen, ik hou ook van jou!" victoria sniffled, her arms reaching forward to be held by her older brother as max stepped further away bye maxie! i promise i'll behave for mummy, love you too!

even though it didn't seem obvious to those people looking in, max was devastated to say goodbye to his mum and little sister. it was moments like this that max wished he could cry without the fear of his own father getting physical with him all because he was expressing his upset in the only way he knew how to. he wanted to cry but he couldn't. 

two

the second time that max verstappen should have cried but didn't was after he had lost a race, achieving second overall. jos was seething with rage because he knew that his son could win. he had made sure his son could win every single race however, the time he didn't win but came second, of course wasn't accetable in jos' eyes. for jos, if max didn't win, it wasn't good enough. max coming second was so terrifying for the kid that he kept his helmet on for four hours because he was so scared of getting hurt by his dad because he didn't win the race. that being the reason he should have cried, not that he achieved second place. whilst he did love to win, if he came second, it was still a good result in max's eyes however he was always scared for his dad's reactions if he got anything less than first place.  

and because of that, max knew if he kept his helmet on for as long as he possibly could then his dad couldn't do anything to hurt him. so, that's what he did. getting out of his kart, he kept his helmet on which would turn into four hours as he held his breath and made his way over to his father that was seething with rage. only hoping that jos wouldn't forcefully remove the helmet himself and then hit him. however, he didn't. he waited and waited for the impact or the removing of his helmet that never came. and he felt himself questioning why he wasn't being punished...maybe jos wasn't mad at max like he usually was when things didn't go max's way? 

"...pa? ben je niet boos?" max's little scared voice echoed out of his racer helmet as jos sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose trying to contain his distain dad? you're not mad?

"niet op jou, maar ja, ik ben boos!" jos sighed, he was mad but he thought about what sophie told me the day he and max left - knowing that if sophie were to find out he had hit max again, she'd be pissed however it was quite hard for jos to restrain himself not at you but yes i am mad!

and hearing his dad say that felt strange, max felt like he could breathe. and because he thought jos wasn't going to hurt him, he thought he was safe in taking off his helmet those four hours later...

...what a mistake that was for little max verstappen. even though jos 'promised' his little boy that whilst he was mad but not at him, that still didn't stop him from reacting physically. grabbing max by the arm, jos pulls him into a more private area of the race track. and he reacts to his son's 'loss' in the same way that he always did when the little boy got lower than first. he'd kick and he'd hit the little dutch boy that was just trying his best at the life that his father couldn't do well enough but made sure his son did it for him. 

max should have cried after getting brutually slapped and kicked by his father jos verstappen but he didn't. he couldn't cry because this was something that was no longer new to the growing boy. this was his normal when he came second or what his dad labelled as 'the first to lose'. 

three

the third time that max verstappen should have cried but didn't was when he won his very first podium with red bull. it was everything he had been working towards as a kid with all the abuse he had suffered at the hands of his own father that this podium wasn't because of his father, it was in spite of his father. whilst his father was there to celebrate his son's very first win, so was a very special person in max's life. this person, this lovely lady, was someone who took care of max. she would challenge jos whenever he tried to be too tough to max. when jos pushed max too hard, she would give the older dutchman a piece of her mind. but never when max was around because she knew that whilst max knew somewhere in his mind, most likely his subconscious, that jos, his own father, caused him so much pain and trauma, he still loved his dad. somewhere inside of max verstappen was a little boy that just wanted to be loved, appreciated and taken care of by his father. not made into this emotionless, robotic mad max that was only good for winning races and rage-quitting when he got anything less. all because of his rotten, abusive father jos. 

making eye contact with his girlfriend, max's smile was the largest it had ever been. he was so excited to have finally won a race with his formula 1 team. of course, if he were to start crying, it would have been absolutely acceptable and perfectly fine because it was his maiden win and usually, for any racer in formula 1 achieving their first win, it would be very emotional. and they'd cry, get a little misty-eyed, even have an emotional radio exchange in their car during the last lap to their radio engineer when it was obvious they were going to win. and in all honesty, f1 fans wanted to see their fave 'mad max' get emotional because to them, it seemed as though max was just an emotionless piece of shit. which he wasn't. but, for max verstappen, he didn't cry when he won his first grand prix with red bull. 

jumping off the podium, max's girlfriend was right there waiting, "gefeliciteerd maxie! Ik ben zo trots op je, mijn liefste!" she congratulated in dutch, her arms wrapping around her champagne-covered boyfriend as he wrapped his own arms tightly around his girlfriend's congratulations maxie! i'm so proud of you my darling!

smiling at her, max couldn't hide his excitement, "dank u schat! ik houd ook van jou!" max sighed in content as he finally relaxed, the exhaustion of the long race finally catching up to the eighteen-year-old thank you baby! i love you too!

the couple then celebrated together on their own. running away from christian and jos, mostly jos then christian but, christian did want to have a chat to the two young adults but alas, they were too fast for red bull's team principle. so, christian just gave up and let the two young adults run off together since the race was finished, max had won and they weren't going to do harm to anyone else for being in love. whilst y.n cried joyus tears that her boyfriend was finally a formula 1 winner but also the youngest ever formula 1 winner, max couldn't. of course he was happy, he was overjoyed that he had finally achieved part of his dream in formula 1 however, he just couldn't produce the same tears of joy that his girlfriend could. all because of the way he was raised by his father to believe that he wasn't allowed to cry because if he cried, he'd get hurt and max didn't want to be at the wrath of his father hurting him again. for it's happened to him too many times so for a third time, max does not cry. 

four

the fourth time that max verstappen should have cried but didn't was when y.n spoke up against jos and defended max with him standing behind y.n. it was summer break and the two of them had just returned from a sweet week off in southern italy before jos forced them to return back to monaco so max could get back into training mode for the next season of formula 1. 

max and his girlfriend, y.n, had met just shortly after max joined formula 1 back in 2015 when he was sixteen turning seventeen. y.n was also sixteen and the reason why the two teenagers met was because y.n's father was a known sponsor of red bull. and they met because her father wanted to speak to max because he had seen just how well of a racer that max was and wanted to let him know that when he was ready, that maybe he could get in contact with the team principal at red bull racing. and a year later, at seventeen, max verstappen was the youngest racer to join formula 1. and, at eighteen, max was the youngest racer to win a grand prix, surpassing sebastian vettel at eighteen years and two hundred & twenty eight days. and from the very beginning of meeting max and his family, it was very obvious how much jos influenced his son. it was very obvious that jos was the captain of the ship even though his son was getting to the age of being able to make his own decisions, jos still overlooked a lot of stuff. 

and as soon as y.n and jos verstappen made eye contact with another, it was obvious that jos disliked her from the getgo. the poor girl doing nothing wrong except introducing herself and her dad to the father and son. obviously, it was clear that jos' childish antics and unwanted and unneeded aggression was embarrassing max and the poor kid had to apologise for his father's over the top borderline abusive behaviour. all because a girl, who was the daughter of a red bull sponsor, was introducing herself and her father to the two of them. especially when it's remembered that it was a sponsor of the one f1 team that max had always dreamt of racing for in formula 1. especially because he didn't want his dad to ruin his dream that never started as his dream at the beginning but the dream of his father for his lackluster ability to be an f1 driver. 

finally, y.n's dad and jos left the two teenagers alone and that was when max apologised personally. then, after that, the two kids basically fell in love and have dated ever since then. and still, jos hates the fact that his son's attention is purely not just on formula 1 anymore even though he has proved time and time again that he is still a capable and talented driver even with a girlfriend. 

the build up to y.n standing up to jos had really started after max's first podium win and it just started brewing from then onwards. jos tried all he could to get his son's attention away from his girlfriend. it was clear that jos was bothered by the fact that max no longer paid all of his attention to his father now that y.n was in his life. and because of that, jos would try every single thing to get max's attention away from his girlfriend. it felt like jos was jealous that max was in a happy relationship and it was kind of gross and icky. 

she really wanted to confront jos that day, after max's first win but, max asked her not to. at first y.n thought her boyfriend had five heads but, max then told her that the best revenge at this moment was just for them to ignore jos. jos being ignored was what he hated the most. giving him a reaction was what he loved. so, having not just y.n but his son as well ignore him after a race was the one thing that jos hated the most. especially after max had such a good race with him winning for the first time. so, they watched from far away as jos raged at christian, who was also ignoring him, that he was being ignored by his own son because of his son's girlfriend. the two of them giggling as the rest of the grid joined them and also giggled at a full on adult, the father of the newest f1 winner, rage quitting because he was being ignored by him because of his atrocious behaviour. 

however, this time, after a race, that wasn't actually a good result for max because of a crash that had him be hit with a DNF, y.n could tell that jos was getting ready to get his son into a quiet corner to yell abuse at him. but this time, y.n got there before he did, stepping in front of max before jos could even think about grabbing his arm. this time, y.n made sure that jos knew just how she really felt about him. however, because she was still learning dutch, she said what she had to say in english because she knew that was another thing that bothered jos. when she wouldn't speak in dutch to him because he found it disrespectful. completely ignoring the fact that it wasn't for the lack of trying but because she was still learning. and, if you're australian, learning another language like dutch is not an easy language to learn when you already have such a strong australian english language. because, shocker, y.n and her father are australian but have since lived in monaco. and, for the first time, max didn't stop his girlfriend from speaking up against his father. he was just exhausted and he was just glad that this time, someone else could take the brunt of his father's abuse and arrogance. even though he wished he didn't have to be his girlfriend, he secretly couldn't wait to hear her rip a new one into his father. 

when people would try to do it when he was younger, stand up against jos, max was terrified that not only would he get hurt but so would the person going against jos. so, he would always tell people that everything was fine and that jos was just angry but he'd calm down soon. but jos never would and that would cause max to be impacted by his own father's anger afterwards. but this time, ever since y.n joined the picture and started dating max, she started to make digs at jos. of course, at first they started small but the longer they've gone on, the bigger they've become and now, this was the last straw for y.n. she was appalled at the way max was being treated by his own father. as though max was a little robot made to just be a top of the world formula 1 driver that doesn't have permission to fall in love, laugh, cry or be happy. it was as though jos didn't have children to love them but to make them into what he couldn't be. as though he was living vicariously through max because when jos was an f1 driver, he wasn't champion nor was he a winner. he was above average in comparison to max. 

and in all honesty, from the moment y.n made eye contact with jos, she knew she'd do everything in her power to change the way jos manipulated and destroyed max, making him into the 'emotionless' driver he was. she hated that she couldn't support her boyfriend when he got mad because it bordered the same anger as his father and that was scary. something that max wasn't even aware of because to that poor young man, his father's anger that stews inside him when something goes wrong, seems normal when it isn't. so, she knew she had to do something to stop jos verstappen and this was the time she could do it. just before it was clear that jos was about to hit his own son for getting a DNF not because of his son's own fault but because of a different driver that clearly wasn't paying attention. 

"...don't you even think about it, jos!" y.n stepped in front of max without a moment of hesitation as jos began his walk toward his son and son's girlfriend

obviously, this had thrown jos off, making him more agitated, "what, y.n? don't even think about doing what?" jos seethed, arms crossed over as y.n rolled her eyes as she laughed 

"you know what i'm talking about, jos. we know why you've stormed right up to your adult son after he DNF'd in a race so you can yell at him for being a failure for something that wasn't even his fault but you won't admit that will you? because you never admit the abuse and trauma you put this poor young man through all because you wanted him to be everything you weren't as a formula 1 driver!" y.n seethed out the same way, jos now even more pissed, if he was a cartoon, his face would be red and he'd have steam coming out of his ears 

for a couple of seconds, jos' mouth opened and closed like a fish before he felt like what he had to say next was of value, "what a liar you are, y.n! this is why i don't want you dating my son but he just won't let you go and i can't understand why! you are rude, you refuse to learn dutch, you--" 

"--i'm sorry but, before you continue your own abusive tyrant on me, lemme just pause your side of the argument real quick, jos..." y.n trailed off as jos bit his tongue and gulped although the look on his face didn't change - max just watching from behind of his girlfriend, jos not even realising that max wasn't saying anything to stop this as of yet 

"...you're saying i'm a liar, that i'm rude and that i'm refusing to learn dutch? well, last time i checked, i'm not the one that's rude, that falls on to you, i'm not a liar, another thing that falls on to you and, whilst to you it might not look as though i'm learning dutch, i am. however you just don't like the fact that max is in a happy, healthy relationship with someone that actually loves and takes care of him. so, anytime you hate yourself or feel insecure that you don't have a happy and healthy relationship, you go to your eighteen year old son because he has the things you didn't have in life. you didn't have wins within formula 1, you had a failed marriage because you weren't a great dad to your two children who grew up to be terrified of you because of the way you physically, verbally and emotionally traumatised them with your choice of 'parenting' and because of wanting to produce a robot which is max. you wanted your own little emotionless robot that mimics the life that you had dreamt for yourself growing up. but when you failed to have that life that you so dreamt of having, you had children, thank god you had a son before a daughter, right? thank god your first born was a son so you could make him into this little machine that doesn't know how to control his emotions when things don't go his way because his own fucking father doesn't know how to control his emotions when things don't go his way. do you know how fucking terrifying it is to comfort max after a failed race like today? he gets so mad that i think he's going to lash out at me in the same way you used to and still lash out at him when he comes second in a race and you'd hit him for not getting first because according to you 'second is the first to lose so therefore it isn't good enough'..." y.n paused but it was clear she wasn't going to stop so jos didn't say anything and just reluctantly listened

"...i'm glad that max doesn't have the same anger and impulses as you do because if max really had turned out just like you and he had hit me in a rage because he crashed and didn't finish the race...oh, you best believe i would be going straight to you and asking you why your eighteen year old son is using violence instead of using his words to commnunicate why he's so angered about the loss of a race. sometimes...you know...sometimes i just wish to see max cry his eyes out over a loss instead of becoming angry resulting in him kicking the wheels of his car. i just long for the day that max finally opens up and is vulnerable enough to cry in front of me because the fear he has to cry because of you telling him but victoria as well when they were children that crying was weak is heartbreaking...okay, fine, i get it, not everyone knows how to react to someone when they're crying but that doesn't mean it's acceptable to hit and kick them because they are upset...." y.n breathes, once again, not yet finished with her tirade but it was clear that jos was ready to argue as well so, y.n opened it up to him and included him in it 

"...okay, health lesson jos, when babies are born, when humans are born, what is the first thing that they do that is the first sign of life?" y.n asks as jos gives her an annoyed look, shrugged his shoulders and rolled his eyes as he didn't answer - the moment he had been given the floor to be included, he stood back and didn't involve himself, typical

"well, since you clearly don't know the answer to a very simple question, humans cry. the first thing they do that signifies that a baby is alive is they cry. if they don't cry, that's seen as something that isn't right and may suggest that the baby was born still and isn't able to be revived or many other reasons. so, when you were born, you cried, sophie cried when she came into the world, i cried when i came into the world. when victoria came into the world, she cried. but most importantly, when max was born, he cried and he possibly cried a lot because he had no other way to communicate with his mum and dad for the longest time. the only way he could get help when he needed it was to cry for his mum and dad. and because this was your first child, okay sure, you weren't sure exactly what the fuck you were doing half the time, same with my parents as i was also their first born, they had no clue what they were doing majority of the time. but that didn't mean they'd neglect me when i'd cry for their help when i needed them the most. then victoria was born, she cried too, max was a little bit older and he still cried when he couldn't fully express what he needed even though he could probably speak a little bit but not enough to actually fully let you know what he needed. and the second two crying kids entered your house, that's when you just exploded, right? that was when you decided that anytime one of your kids cried, specifically if it was max, you were going to hit and kick them and demean him. you couldn't handle seeing a crying child because, i'm guessing that when you were a little boy yourself and you were crying out for your own daddy, possibly mummy as well, you were kicked and striked and talked down to because 'boys aren't meant to cry' 'crying is weak'. well, do you know what i fucking think mr verstappen? i think you're a coward and i think you're the weak one. and i think the reason why max is such a great and talented f1 racer isn't because of you but it's to spite you for the way you treated him...."

"...sure, he doesn't know how to speak up for himself in front of you just yet but, i promise, that day will come. and when that day comes, you'll truly realise just how badly you fucked up as a parent, as a dad! cause sure, you're max's father but you're not his dad. dad's don't abuse their children, they step up and they care for their child and they make sure they get everything in this world within reason. dad's don't scare their kids from feeling emotions just because they can't understand them themselves. sure, i'm sure when i cried as a kid it absolutely annoyed the shit out of my parents, especially when they wanted to sleep but do you know what they did? what my dad did? my dad was the one that got out of bed and responded to my cries majority of the time so my mum could get the sleep she deserved because i'll tell you know, i was not an easy baby because of how sick i was as a kid, i was always being watched by doctors and nurses and always going in and out of hospitals. and it wasn't until i was eight that i stopped needing to see the doctor once every month. when i was crying, no matter if i was a baby or i was ten years old and crying because i was getting bullied at school, my dad comforted me, he loved me and he told me that everything was going to be okay and that nothing in this world could harm me again. but what do you do? you do the utter opposite, you neglect the emotions of your little boy for a little while but then the cries get louder and louder until you can no longer ignore them. so you decide to go over to your little boy and, thinking he's going to be getting a hug, a kiss and his tears wiped away, he smiles and reaches his hands up to reach for his dad. but what do you do? you hit and kick him and you yell at him for crying because that was the only way he was able to express the complex emotions he was feeling. you would do that so many times whenever max cried that it got to the point that max just stopped crying all because he was so afraid of you hurting him and yelling at him. but do you know what the real, most heart-wrenching moment about this whole thing is, jos? max doesn't really care all too much about the trophies anymore, sure, it's great but do you know what he craves the most out of anything in this world? the love from his dad and that's the one thing he cannot get because you only care about the trophies and the wins and the money and the fame that his name brings you. all he wants from his father is to be loved, jos. why is it so hard to just be a loving, caring father that doesn't punish his son for having emotions and trying his very best? why don't you understand that he's just a human being trying his fucking best?" finally, y.n had finished her tyrant against jos and it seemed as though jos had nothing to say to her even though she was out of breath and in tears and he still didn't have any empathy or remorse 

there was a minute of silence where no one said anything, nobody moved and it was as though the room went into stop mode. jos couldn't find anything to say in defence of the argument and, of course, y.n didn't find that too surprising because he never did. which was never good for the older man because that just meant what everyone was saying when they spoke up against jos was that it was true. and other times, jos would just leave the room in a rage to then go find someone else who'd listen to his whining and rage quits. however, most of the times, he'd just be ignored when those rage quits and whiny rants would occur because why do you want to listen to a middle-aged man whine and rage quit because he was challenged due to his awful behaviour? and, like usual, jos did storm out of the red bull garage which made y.n snicker. because it was typical, jos couldn't have a regular conversation with anyone without him having to storm out and sulk because he just wasn't mentally able to deal with anyone telling the truth about him to his face. 

after that whole argument that had y.n in tears, she expected to turn around and see max crying or at least a little bit teary eyed but, she didn't. he was just stone-faced and not knowing how he was supposed to react to the situation that just happened in front of him. and that just made you cry more because even without jos around him, max felt like he still couldn't express his emotions. sitting on his lap, y.n held him tight as they consoled each other after the terrible race that just was whilst jos continued to whine to those who wouldn't listen to him. 

five

the fifth time that max doesn't cry but should have, was the closest that he had come to crying since he was a little boy. by this point, he had now been with red bull for a few years, he and y.n were in a wonderful place in their relationship, he was in a wonderful place with red bull and he had just found out his younger sister victoria was pregnant with her and her partner's first baby. it was amazing news, of course it was, he knew just how much victoria wanted to have kids so she could give her own kids the life that she couldn't have because of her parents divorcing and having to live so far away from her older brother and dad. but, it was the way victoria had told him that had him show more emotion that y.n had ever seen from him. it was a sweet moment, victoria and her partner were visiting max and y.n in monaco during a two week break between grand prixs since victoria never wanted to have to tell such important news like a first-time pregnancy over the phone, she decided that she and her partner would make a little trip out of it. and max and y.n were their last dot point on their agenda but the most important part of their entire trip to monaco. not that max or y.n knew it at the time but, it would become obvious after they were told the news. 

y.n and max were relaxing on their couch in their monaco apartment, waiting for victoria and her partner when the door bell rung. meaning that they had finally arrived, excited, max jumped off from the couch, y.n following shortly after and skipped to the door. letting the wife and husband into the apartment, y.n and max led them back to the couch and put the tv on so they could have some light entertainment on in the background. 

however, it was clear that victoria and her partner hadn't come for no reason other than just wanting to hang out so, y.n started off the conversation, her dutch almost fluent at this point, "hey vic en harry leuk jullie te zien, wat brengt jullie op bezoek?" y.n asks with a little giggle as victoria and her partner smile at her and max hey vic and harry good to see you, what brings you to visit?

giggling, victoria spoke first, trying her hardest to not give away the surprise straight away as her partner looks at her, y.n and max looking at them, "oh, je weet wel y.n, we wilden het alleen bezoeken vóór de volgende grand prix van maxie," victoria smiled, trying not to seem suspicious but it was clear that something was shifting in the air as max lifts his eyebrow in confusion oh, you know y.n, we just wanted to visit before maxie's next grand prix

"weet je het zeker? het voelt alsof jullie ons allebei iets belangrijks moeten vertellen..." y.n giggled nervously as she placed her hand on max's thigh as victoria and her partner realised they really weren't good at keeping secrets are you sure? it feels like there's something important that you need to tell us

sensing that victoria and her partner harry were about to tell them something important, both y.n and max latched hands together. anytime something important was being told, it was stressful and, max and y.n needed each other's support. they didn't know what victoria and harry was about to tell them. they didn't know if it was a bad important or if it was a good important. they just knew it was important at this stage. they then noticed victoria reach for something out of her bag. that was when victoria then spoke up. 

"voordat ik je het belangrijke nieuws vertel, wil ik dat jullie allebei je handen naar je uitstrekken en je ogen sluiten..." victoria suddenly asks as max and y.n look at one another and then victoria and harry and then back at themselves before agreeing to victoria's question before i tell you the important news, i want you both to extend your hands and close your eyes

"...ehm, oké, dit is raar. vic, wat laat je ons vasthouden?" max questioned worriedly with his little nervous laugh that y.n always found the sweetest sound in the world as victoria and harry smiled umm, okay, this is weird. vic, what are you making us hold?

victoria then placed the positive pregnancy test into the hands of her older brother and sister-in-law. at first, the couple were slightly grossed out but, they relaxed when it wasn't slimy or feeling icky like they thought it would have. 

however, the more y.n started to feel it, the more she started to realise what it was that victoria had given to them to hold. only because she had taken a couple of them herself when she thought she and max were pregnant during last year's f1 season and my god, was that a terrifying time. not because they don't want kids but because at the time they weren't ready and max was going everywhere and anywhere with formula 1. there was no way that max would be able to be both a dad and an f1 driver at the same time and he really didn't want to end up being the father that jos was to him to his own future children. 

victoria gave the couple a couple more seconds before y.n just outright asked what it was, "is dit een zwangerschapstest, victoria?" she giggled slightly as her eyes were still crinkled shut as max's lip started to shake a little at the mention of his sister possibly being pregnant is this a pregnancy test, victoria?

"open je ogen y.n en max!" victoria giggled, hoping to keep the suspense a little longer until they open their eyes but, it was clear that it was a positive pregnancy test and that at least y.n knew that's what it was open your eyes y.n and max!

and, when they opened their eyes, y.n was right in saying that it was a pregnancy test in their hands. however, for some odd reason, neither max nor y.n had thought that it was a positive pregnancy test. they thought it was maybe a negative pregnancy test and they had come to their brother and sister-in-law for support since it was similar to what they had gone through last year. however, they were not prepared at all for the fact that it was a positive pregnancy test and that victoria was pregnant. 

"oh mijn god, victoria! je bent zwanger! gefeliciteerd jullie twee!" y.n burst out in excitement, her hands moving away from next to max's as she stood up to congratulate victoria and her partner which meant that max had just enough reaction time to stop the test from hitting the ground, placing it on the coffee table oh my god, victoria! you are pregnant! congratulations you two!

pulling her sister-in-law in for a hug, y.n was over the moon that victoria and her partner were pregnant. now that she thought about it, she should have seen it coming that this was the news that they were going to announce since they arrived. it was obvious that they had been wanting to tell them since they were brought into the lounge room. however, max was just shocked and silent on the couch, looking at his younger sister's positive pregnancy test that still rested on the coffee table. he had already envisioned the day that he'd find out victoria was pregnant and he always thought that whilst he'd be so happy and excited for her that he would probably be a lot more emotional about it. like, shed a couple of tears of joy that one, he was becoming an uncle for the first time but that also victoria and harry were becoming first time parents. and it was the first time that the verstappen children could change the generational trauma from their father by being better parents to their future children. 

but, what shocked him more than anything, other than the fact that he wasn't full on crying, that he was teary-eyed. this was the closest he had gotten to crying or having tears in his eyes since he was a little boy before his dad had scared him enough from crying that caused him to shove all of his emotions deep down inside of him. finally though, something inside of him made him get up out of his little daze and congratulate his little sister and partner on their wonderful and exciting news. 

"gefeliciteerd vic, heb je het mama en papa al verteld?" max's voice was soft and scratchy, as though his emotions were beginning to show up again as y.n smiled softly - glad that slowly max was feeling like he could finally stop being so scared to feel things other than anger and joy congratulations vic, have you told mum and dad yet?

"nee, nog niet maxie. we wilden jullie er eerst twee vertellen, voordat iemand anders. Ik denk dat ik het misschien nooit in alle eerlijkheid aan papa zal vertellen," victoria jokes at the end, not telling jos about becoming a grandfather actually sounded kind of funny and deserved as the four of them giggled, max and y.n shaking their heads no, not just yet. we wanted to tell you two first before anyone else. i think i may actually never tell dad in all honesty

"als we daar maar mee weg konden komen! als je niet tegen papa zegt, zit je hoofd op een spies! maar zorg ervoor dat je het papa in een openbare ruimte vertelt, zodat hij niet tegen je kan schreeuwen omdat je het hem niet eerst hebt verteld!" max giggled with a sniffle as y.n sat down next to max on the couch, her hand back on his thigh as they all giggled at max's response if only we could get away with that! not telling dad will have your head on a spike! but, make sure you tell dad in a public space so he can't yell at you for you not telling him first!

the siblings chatted for a little bit longer about victoria's pregnancy and about other things like where the next grand prix was although everyone knew it was monza. victoria also asked y.n about whether or not she and max were going to have children after not being ready this year but giving hints that maybe this year, she and max were ready. then, it started to get later then the verstappen's had realised which meant victoria and harry left just after it had gone to nightfall which meant that finally, max and y.n could go back to speaking in english to one another. whilst y.n was basically fluent now in her dutch speaking, max and y.n did prefer to speak to one another primarily in english. only saying their pet names to one another in dutch because that was just easier. 

that was when y.n also finally got a proper look at her boyfriend's face since she was so focused on victoria after the pregnancy news. that was when she noticed that max's eyes were still a little bit wet. hugging max tighter, y.n smiled and giggled, causing max to hum a noise of confusion. 

"what, liefde love?" max chuckled nervously as y.n smiled at her boyfriend, her hand resting underneath his chin now

"were you getting a little emotional when victoria said she was pregnant, schat?" y.n cooed sweetly as max got a little embarrassed, hiding his face in her shoulder as y.n giggled, ruffling her fingers through his messy hair 

"maybe a little bit but, it was because i'm so happy for her! i mean, i remember when we were younger, victoria would tell me with so much excitement that she'd make sure that she'd find the best guy for her to have children with. all so she could make sure that her future children didn't have the same experiences that me and her went through as kids..." max trailed off as tears continued to wet his eyeline as y.n cooed and smiled - proud that max was on his way to finally being fully vulnerable with her 

"...that's okay baby! i'm so proud of you for feeling safe enough to let your eyes water! sure, you didn't fully cry like you would've thought you would have when you were years younger but, this is progress. i love you, max emilian verstappen!" y.n smiled sweetly as max smiled back, pulling his girlfriend in for a kiss 

whilst he still hadn't properly cried when he should have, max wasn't too far off from it either. 

the one

the one time that max finally does cry is the moment in which he wishes he didn't have to remember or even have to go through. he was in england for the british grand prix at silverstone and you were not even in europe, you were in australia, back home. you were meant to go to the british grand prix with him since jos wasn't going either since he had to take care of his other kids that he had with his new relationship so max had gone on his own for this grand prix and you really wished that you could have gone with him. however, because of your dad's declining health due to terminal cancer, it meant that because at any moment he could pass away, you had to fly on an emergency flight back to australia to the east coast, to queensland whilst max borded a flight to england with the rest of the f1 grid and their partners. you felt like such an awful girlfriend but, max shut those feelings did, as did the rest of the grid and their partners since you left the same time for australia at the same time they left for england. all of them reassuring you that this wasn't going to be max's final grand prix and that there was still more of this season to go and that your dad's declining health was more important. it was devastating because his company was one of the primary sponsors of red bull but, that didn't mean anything anymore. your dad was dying and that was heartbreaking for everyone in the f1 world. not just because he was one of the sponsers but because he was also an f1 driver back in the day that, until this last year, had only been revealed to y.n and max. they had no idea that when he was around the ages of y.n and max that he was also a driver for f1. he never got a world championship but he was a good enough driver that he was miles better than jos verstappen and got a couple of wins and tons of podiums. racing for mclaren back in the day since red bull wasn't an established racing team until 2005 after red bull had bought the remanants of jaguar racing from ford. funny now though that he was the sponser of red bull instead of mclaren, the team he drove for. 

as you would imagine, out of the two fathers, jos and y.f.n, y.f.n absolutely adored max from the getgo. it was obvious that, just like y.n, her father realised that max wasn't an awful person like everyone in the media claimed the poor teenager at the time was. it was clear that it was from the manipulation and brain-washing of his father that he came across as aggressive and rude. jos was the one that was the aggressor and the rude one. max was a sweetheart, not too bothered really about what happened to him in a race because, to him, it was just a fun little thing that he was actually more than just alright in. max was the complete opposite of what his father wanted him to be in terms of manners, kindness and demeanour. and it was clear that when jos didn't get the results out of max that he wanted, max was punished for it. yet, he never cried, he never misbehaved, he just took it on the chin and kept on going. and that devastated y.n's father in the way that he was being treated by the man that was supposed to be his dad, if y.n's dad could even call jos verstappen a dad. it seemed insulting to call jos verstappen a dad when at best, he wasn't a dad but a deadbeat abusive father. so, after max joined red bull racing, y.n, her father and max started hanging out more and the older man started really taking care of max in the way a dad should be taking care of his son. 

it had come to the point where, max would start calling his girlfriend's dad, dad because he felt like his girlfriend's dad was more of a dad than his own father was to him. but that was besides the point, max loved y.n's dad and it broke his heart when he was told the news that he had been diagnosed with cancer. that was the other closest time of max crying. just like he did when victoria had told him she was pregnant with her first child, at hearing that sad news just four days after the joyous news of becoming an uncle, y.n and max were given the devastating news that y.f.n had been diagnosed with cancer. and, max was teary-eyed and in shock, not knowing how else to react. his voice on the verge of what it would sound like if he were to have started crying. 

so, hearing that it was now basically a matter of when not if y.n's dad was going to die, it was absolutely devastating that max had to fly to england whilst y.n had to fly all the way to australia to be with her father in what would end up being his last twenty-four hours. max not even getting to fully say his final goodbye, only being able to call them briefly for a short hour before he was called back to the paddock since he had to get ready for his qualifying race. the worst part of all was that, y.n was the only one in the hospital there with her dad. her mum had died giving birth to y.n's last sibling over sixteen years ago, the youngest sibling being sixteen years old and the rest of y.n's siblings couldn't bear having to watch their last parent die so, they didn't arrive at the hospital until after time of death for their dad had been called. and now, y.n had the worst job to do, she had to fly back to england, knowing she couldn't stomach telling max over the phone cause that was just cruel, she had to leave her four other siblings at the queensland hospital to catch a flight back to england to tell not just max but also christian, the team principal of red bull racing that her father, the main sponsor's founder had died. 

the rule was, if y.n was to fly back from australia before the end of the british grand prix at silverstone, that it wasn't good news. they said that because if she stayed then it meant that her dad was okay and she was just taking care of him. whereas, if y.n was to come back basically straight away from australia, then that meant that it was bad. and that was the hardest thing for her. knowing that she had to walk into that grand prix, at silverstone, maybe right after they've finished their race, probably had an amazing top three on the podium and then getting that all taken out from underneath them due to the loss of y.n's dad. 

by the time y.n finally arrived at the british grand prix at silverstone, the first person she actually saw was christian horner, the team principal of red bull racing. and immediately, he didn't hesitate in stopping what it was he was doing and manuvered over to pull her in for a tight hug. by this point, y.n was no longer crying. she couldn't cry anymore. she was simply out of tears. in all honesty, she was glad she couldn't cry anymore because, she felt as though she had filled that entire airbus a380 in a river of her tears. 

speaking softly, christian soothed the numb grieving girl, "...y.n, i am so sorry darling! what's the plan of action now that you're here? who's the next person you need to tell? max? danny? geri?" christian asked softly, his voice sounding light and airy as y.n gulped before slightly tilting her head to look up at christian 

"umm, i...i think i need to tell max next. he...he said that the next person after you was him...where...where's max?" y.n stammered out, her speech slow and as though she had no joy in her voice anymore like she did just days earlier 

"you want to tell max? okay, we can do that, we can find max. i think he was last seen in the cooldown room with charles and lando, we can totally get him for you..." christian trailed off, going to walk away but y.n stopped him, grabbing his hand and pulling him back 

"...wait...before you do that, what place did max come in the race? i couldn't watch it since it made dad upset that he wouldn't be able to watch his last grand prix because he was so far gone from all the drugs..." y.n's voice went quiet at the end as christian felt his heart break as he bit his lip but told her 

"...he...he won, darling. charles got p2 and lando p3. it was an amazing race, truly, if he wasn't so far gone, i'm sure your dad would have loved to have seen this grand prix as his last one. the three of them were neck and neck the whole way..." christian whispered as he then tilted his head towards the cooldown room, nodding her head, y.n let her hand slip out of christian's as he went to grab max 

max, lando and charles were relaxing in the cooldown room, lando and max on the floor whilst charles was in the seat that just happened to max's, the first seat he had fallen onto as they entered the room. making eye contact with christian, it seemed as though max could sense something was wrong since he wasn't saying anything. and because max wasn't either, charles and lando looked at each other, silently saying as though maybe, they should speak up. 

"...hey, christian, is everything alright?" lando spoke up as christian kind of jumped out of the little reverie he was in as he gulped and nodded his head

"uhh, yeah, yeah, sorry lando! yeah, i'm fine but, is it okay if i just steal max for a little bit?" christian tried to hide the urgency and worry in his voice but he couldn't and because of that, lando and charles were also alarmed 

max standing up from the floor straight away, he gulped and walked over to christian as charles then spoke up, "wait, christian, can we go with you?" charles asked as christian had no time to think before his head just involuntarily nodded up and down - allowing lando and charles to come with him and max, wherever it was that they were going 

they walked in silence for a bit, it seemed as though they were in a hurry to get back to the red bull garage. which was pretty easy for the three racers to realise but what they didn't expect to see in the red bull garage was y.n. seeing y.n in the red bull garage meant only one thing now and that meant that y.f.n was dead and that she had to now deliver that news to max. it wasn't just something known within the red bull team, this was told to all of the f1 grid so, it wasn't just max that was now feeling shocked and upset. lando and charles were silent and in shock, in less of a way that y.n was but, they were shocked. they couldn't believe it, they genuinely thought that y.n's dad was going to be fine. he was still so young, he wasn't even in his early 50s just yet. just a little bit older than christian horner himself. but, here they were, looking in the red bull garage to see y.n sitting right there, in a seat with gianpiero lambiase, max's race engineer sitting right next to her as she rocked back and forth ever so slightly, absolutely numb for any and all pain that consumed her on the flight from australia to london.

finally though, after staying silent for twenty-odd minutes and the rest of the f1 grid being called into the red bull garage, all of them shocked and saddned to see that it was indeed, y.n, and not someone else like they had all hoped and prayed it was. this was not how they wanted to end such a successful british grand prix at silverstone, having to be told that they had lost a family member from red bull racing. but, it was what had to be done and it was y.n that had to give out that news even though she hated it. 

"...umm, i know this isn't what we wanted to see tonight, especially at the end of such a fantastic british grand prix here at silverstone but, it is with the devastation in my heart that my dad, y.f.n has passed away. it was peaceful and it wasn't painful, he just slipped away as max, charles and lando made their way to the end of the race in first, second and third place. i know i don't need to tell any of you guys this but, whilst my dad was a sponsor and lover of red bull racing and mr christian horner, he was also a driver for mclaren and he adored every single one of you guys. he loved that you guys had welcomed me with the most open of open arms when i was first introduced to you guys. whether that was back when i was sixteen and meeting who would be the golden boy of red bull, max, or when i met the rest of you guys when some of you were rookies. he really appreciated just how much you guys cared about me, treating me all the same and with so much care as though i was a fragile little doll which, to be honest, i was until i got older. but, yeah, now that i'm here and not in australia, it's unfortunate that i now no longer have either parent. and because i'll also have to plan the funeral, it'll be held in australia but, i'll make sure to plan it during a break between races because i don't think i can imagine having my dad's funeral and you lot not being there..." as y.n's voice came to a halt, sniffles could be heard, as could very heavy breaths and it became obvious as to who it was 

because the other drivers that were crying like lando, carlos, charles and daniel were silent, they weren't hysterical, unless you actually stared at them for longer than a second, it wasn't easy to tell that they were even crying, let alone teary-eyed. so the only other person that y.n knew would get upset about this more than anything would try to run away because no one else had seen him get this emotional before. and, it was of course, max. no one was there when he was told that his sister was pregnant and when he teared up in the same way that no one in the grid was there when he was given the news that y.n's dad had cancer four days later when he had teared up for sadder, devastating reasons. so, no one had really seen any other emotion from max other than anger and joy. it was as though those were max's only emotions since no one else had seen max get emotional or teary-eyed in the same way y.n had those two times when max was finally starting to feel comfortable about being vulnerable. but now, he could feel his vulnerability fully start to crumble and he knew he had to get away before anyone else other than y.n could see it. it was scary crying in front of people, doesn't matter if your name is max verstappen or y.n y.l.n. it's confronting having people watch you cry and the one time he finally cries, he's too scared to do it around anyone else other than his girlfriend even though he knew in the back of his mind that his teammates in the grid wouldn't look at him any weirder or judge him for being upset that the man who was more of a dad than his actual father was had died from his terminal cancer. 

so, after getting hugs from almost all of the drivers on the grid and a couple of the other team principals, y.n had made her way out of the red bull garage and back into the cooldown room where no one else was. not even cameras since the grand prix was now fully finished, because that was where she knew max had run off to so he could finally break down and cry in peace for the first time since he was a little boy. 

and she could tell it was max that was crying in the cooldown room even though this was the first time hearing her boyfriend cry, she could tell it was him. the noises he was making were similar to the ones when he would get mad to the point where sometimes his eyes would water and he'd lose his breath. however, this time, it still sounded much different. he was full on sobbing and it was loud and it was punching y.n in her gut. it was painful hearing her boyfriend cry knowing she couldn't get there any quicker. 

finally though, her legs had found their way into the cooldown room and what she saw broke her heart more than the cries she was hearing. if that was even possible because hearing max cry was what y.n thought could be the most gut-wrenching thing on earth. what she saw was her boyfriend on the floor, his back near the wall next to charles' seat from when they were first in there after the race behind him. his knees were hiked up all the way to his chest with his face being cradled into his knees as he leaned away from the wall behind him but into the chair, one arm tightly holding his knees whilst the other one was limp against the floor. 

gently sitting in front of her distraught boyfriend, y.n pulled him in for a hug and straight away, max's resolve unravelled. his limbs unravelling as he wrapped his arms around his girlfriend as he just sobbed. not caring that if his dad was watching this that he'd call him weak and a baby. he was in pain and it was devastating that he wasn't able to fly to australia with his girlfriend to be there for her when she needed him. he had never really experienced a loss like this growing up other than maybe grandparents but, they were the grandparents that died when max was basically a one-year-old so he had no memory of them. which meant that his girlfriend's dad was truly max's first experience with grief and bereavement. now he understood the painful feeling in his chest that people talked about when they had a full body cry in the same way that he was doing right now. he now understood how charles felt like since this wasn't the first time that charles had lost someone he knew. charles and the leclerc's were great friends with y.n's family, but especially her dad. so now max knew what charles felt like when the younger driver lost his own dad herve and godfather jules. it was a pain he never wanted his own worst enemy to go through. 

"...schat...i'm sorry baby, i know it's not the news you wanted to hear but, he was gone just as you guys finished the race. it didn't hurt and he actually called out for you because he could hear your radio transmissions to gp on the tv. he got scared and didn't know where you were until i reminded him that you were in england for the british grand prix and that's what he was hearing on the tv..." y.n whispered, hoping it would make max feel better but she should have known that it wouldn't have as max cried more 

"...i...i should have been there with you! why wasn't i there for you at the hospital for your dad's last days? what a terrible boyfriend i am!" max wailed as y.n felt her heart break as she shook her head and held max tighter 

"no baby, please don't say that! you are not a terrible boyfriend! even if you didn't have the grand prix on, i wouldn't have let you come to australia with me! i'm glad you weren't with me for dad's final days, he was glad that you weren't with me for his final days. i know dad was amazing to you, maxie. he truly adored you ever since he first met you all those years back when we were just teenagers. the moment he realised how shitty of a father yours was, he stepped up and took you under his wing. he loved the hell out of you my darling boy! in the same way he adored everyone in this year's f1 grid! and that's why it hurts that little bit more that he's now gone. but, we'll get to farewell him all together and, i'm glad that you'll be with me for that. i love you, okay, schat? and if you ever break down like this ever again, just know that i'm right here and i won't let you go until you are okay again, alright?" y.n was strong in her comfort for max as he nodded his head as finally his tears and wails had subsided 

"i'm sorry for crying all over you..." max whispered, sort of ashamed to apologise even though he always did because of his father, y.n immediately clocked onto it 

"...don't apologise babe, it's okay to cry. you're only human max and, that's what we do, it's what we're built to do. we're built to feel, to love and to grieve and part of all of this includes crying when we need to cry. so, never apologise for being a human..." y.n whispered back as max nodded his head and took a deep breath

wiping away the tears, y.n and max just sat in silence next to each other for a couple more minutes before charles, lando, carlos and the rest of the f1 grid joined the couple in the cooldown room. they were all equally as devastated for max and y.n that they had lost such an amazing man who just happened to be the founder and boss of the main sponsor for red bull racing. 

this was the first time that max finally allowed himself to cry since he was a little boy and it was the first time that he didn't feel weak for showing emotion either. especially when he noticed the other tear-stained faces of his f1 teammates. this was when max realised that just because he's a man, that shouldn't mean that he should be ashamed to cry and to break down because even if his father isn't going to be there to catch him as he falls, y.n and everyone else around him would be there to catch him before he even had the chance to fall. 

fin

okay, that was a bit of a weakling ending but, this took legit the whole day to write so i'm proud of myself for writing this since this isn't one that i hadn't written in a different book and it's nearly 2:30 in the morning as i finish this which isn't something i've done in a while so, i really gotta finish this baby up! i have so many ideas for more 5+1 one-shots but i just need to sift through them in my adhd brain and see which ones i like more cause i'm constantly thinking of new ones and then forgetting the old ones because i was thinking of one the other day and i think i've already forgotten it which is lowkey devastating but, no matter, i'll remember it later lol! 

©⠀amberjazmyn's original work. do not translate or steal any of my fics. 2024

[shady-swan-jones]

Captain Swan Fic Recs are back, baby! - April Edition

Hello, cs friends! It's been like, what, seven years since I last did this? Who's counting. Enjoy the fruits of y'all's labour and some amazing stories. Keep writing, we need you

-Sophie

when Emma falls in love [from the vault] by @spartanguard

Inspired by "When Emma Falls In Love" by Taylor Swift, part of series based on songs from the vault

everyone's wondering why Emma doesn't screw the hot bartender already, it's not like he hasn't given signs. but with emma's romantic past it's not like she's throwing chances to anyone, scruffily attractive as they may be. yet, it's not her past that's worrisome. will they break the curse?

rated T | 6.2k words | AO3

Untie Me | captain swan fic | office romance | mature | 3/5 | 5.9k | in progress, by me

“Didn’t you pay attention to trigonometry, Jones?” she balances her weight on the stick, languidly, in a way that ticks something into his already drowsy brain.  “Is this the part where you offer to teach me, Swan?” he says, advancing to her. 

Read on Ao3 or ff.net

I, lost, was passing by - by @dykelilypage

Five years ago, Emma's father had given her a necklace for her birthday. It was a beautiful ruby encased in a golden chain, that sat heavy on her chest. It was safe to say then, that Emma was more than a little bit pissed off to discover that it had been stolen from right around her neck. The one stroke of luck to the whole ordeal was that she knew exactly who had taken it. Killian Jones. rated E | 6267 words

love scare by @exhaustedpirate

it's a little canon-compliant one-shot that i place during the six weeks of peace, more specifically, like a day or so before 4B rated G | 922 words | ao3

Expecting a Secret [3/3] by @walviemort

Summary: After the events of 3x19, Killian is at his lowest after being rejected by Emma. When Snow’s labor turns out to be a false alarm, Zelena offers Killian a deal: she’ll leave the Charmings alone…if he gives her the baby she needs for her spell instead. There’s just one hitch: he has to keep it a secret. At least it will only take 10 days, right?

The Heart of a Villan (5/5) by @beckettj

There are only two people that can make me care about football: Ted Lasso and this. Words: 6181 ~ AO3

Perilous Harbor by @veryverynotgoodwrites

Emma Swan is heir apparent to her parents' kingdom in the Enchanted Forest, and a powerful wielder of light magic. This makes her the most wanted woman in the realm, not only for marriage, but for leverage against the king and queen. While her parents have been able to keep her safe so far, an attack is launched on Princess Emma that leaves her no choice but to seek the protection of her worst enemy - Killian Jones, infamous captain of the Jolly Roger and his pirate crew. ao3 in progress 19/23

a work of art by @sotangledupinit

“I always have to clean up your messes,” she mutters to herself angrily, eyes glaring down at the red liquid on the floor.

Between Waking Life and Our Dreams (12/?) by @nachocheese-itsmycheese

Season 3b canon divergence: Storybrooke is still missing when Emma, Killian, and Henry reach the town line. AO3 T

The Fluffy Problem by @ineffablecolors

"Oh, I'm going to have fun paying you back, Captain."

ff.net

The Cure for Loneliness (4/?) by @laianely

Killian went to the world without magic to finally kill Crocodile, but instead he met Emma in Gold's shop. And his whole life turned upside down overnight.

E 16k words in progress AO3

Pan Says... (8/?) by @hollyethecurious

After waking up in a strange room with a naked stranger, Emma and Killian must endure the twisted game their kidnapper insists they play in order to gain provisions and avoid punishments.

To Cleave Destiny by @iamstartraveller776

She was going to pass the night the same way she did every year in adulthood: by getting drunk enough to forget that the world was incredibly unfair. Ao3, in progress, T, 4k

Note:

Don't forget to comment and show some love. To me too. Come on. Anyone else who wants to be tagged can request it.

If you have more fic recs or more links, drop them in the comments and I'll include them. You creative mermaids, love ya.

@kmomof4 @caught-in-the-filter @allons-y-to-hogwarts-713 @the-darkdragonfly @teamhook @justanother-unluckysoul @karlyfr13s  @snowbellewells @xarandomdreamx @klynn-stormz @omninerdgirl  @facesiousbutton82 @finmnsoh56​ @followbatb @killianxswan @booksteaandtoomuchtv @exhaustedpirate @anmylica @hollyethecurious @winterbaby89 @undercaffinatednightmare @resident-of-storybrooke @tiganasummertree @stahlords @lfh1226-linda @darkshadow7 @fleurdepetite @captainswan-kellie @motherkatereloyshipper @soniccat @jrob64 @beckettj @whimsicallyenchantedrose @jonesfandomfanatic @zaharadessert @bluewildcatfanatic @once-upon-a-happy-end @ultraluckycatnd​

[snowballthekitteninwonderland]

Mwahahaha, now that that disgusting Ratman is getting cancelled and reviled by what once was his blindly adoring fans, I can actually actively interact with GO stuff the way I want (that is, as something I adore to bits yet not devoid of criticism) instead of passively enjoying it w/o receiving uncalled for hate from people defending him!

More about my designs under the cut

While I don't *hate* the tv series nor do I think it's bad by itself at the same time I do despise it as an adaptation and what it did to mainstream audiences and fandom perception of everything GO related. I think that is reflected in my designs, as people familiar with older fanworks or with a preference for book & radio omens will immediately notice my designs take cues from there + the general older fandom consensus pre-prime series. Also my Zira's hair is meant to be white, albeit not a pure one, he's not blonde. My design for him has his eyes closed for 2 reasons, both forms of hiding his true nature: as a non-human and as his true personality, in a similar way that Crowley does with the sunglasses. While not pictured here, my Zira's eyes are pure unnatural black including the sclera and golden irises that are just. Plain good ol' fire, like his flaming sword(altho I'm very tempted to change it into stars, that's pretty nice imagery coined by TV Omens fandom), to both hint at his status as an angel and as a contrast to Crowley's yellow snake eyes. Meant to be unsettling and uncanny whenever he opens them.

Since the very first time I read the book back in middle school I always pictured everything like a relatively simplistic looking cartoon, with the most cartoonish sfx and everything, idk it happens the exact same with the Discworld books, I think it's just how my brain visualizes STP's pen or something.

Noodle Doodle Crowley! He was always Funny Pathetic Noodle Doodle Uncool Man™ in my mind, pure gangly limbs and awkwardness. I generally do not like to depict him with snake traits bc of his dysmorphia, but precisely bc of that I can't help but give him a lil' something he cannot control about his body and that he hates about himself, hence the forked tongue. Once he reaches True Peace ™ and Self-Acceptance™, he will be able to finally will it away, his is case of a classic Penelope (2006)/Sophie from Howl's Moving Castle deal.

I also have Many Thoughts ™ about the differences between the iterations of the GO cast, including their visual designs, but that goes on an analysis post, not a fanart one.

[penspolin]

Evidence Suggesting Benedict Bridgerton is the Lead of Season 4

As our beloved Colin says, I am indeed looking to the future and needed to make this for my own sanity heading into part 2. Prefacing this also by saying that I see the evidence for Eloise as well - none of this is official confirmation, only an array of hints/reasons why Benedict seems well-suited to being the S4 lead. Thought it might be good to put the evidence together. Some very minor spoilers for AOFAG here.

Already skipped once - To me, this is the biggest reason why Benedict is best suited for (and should be) the lead of S4. Moving Colin's story up a season made sense considering the progression of Polin's story, but if Benedict is delayed again the creators risk pissing the audience off more than they already have. Benedict is often regarded as a source of humor in the show, but if they keep recycling ideas with him, he could very well fall off of peoples' radar and lose his "fan-favorite" position.

"Purposeless" Benedict - Needless to say, Benedict is lost this season. We've known this since his character promo came out. He's lost art and has found himself running into the arms of yet another capable woman, only this one seems to have captured a great deal of his investment. The result? Potential heartbreak. This heartbreak would leave him in a similar state as AOFAG--aimless,

Anti-society - Benedict has made frequent comments throughout this season regarding his feelings on societal pressure. The underlying commentary here relates to class, and we know class is a huge theme with his relationship to Sophie. It's as if the writers want us to be fully aware of Benedict's feelings on these subjects to set up a potential conflict next season.

Dancing Benedict - A minor thing, but there have been quite a few mentions of Benedict's dancing abilities this season. Could be a hint at the masquerade ball.

Cowper-focus/Araminta Cowper - The Cowpers have gotten a fair bit of screen time this season, and not just Cressida. We've been let into their home and have witnessed the interactions between the family members. They seem to be experiencing some financial strain. In addition, a very significant detail was released recently: Mother Cowper's first name is "Araminta," the same name as Sophie's evil stepmother in the book. Curious that this was only brought up just now rather than in previous seasons.

Vauxhall - The code name for season 4 is "Vauxhall," which has a significant connection to masquerades (and scandal in general). Season 2 and 3 code names have all had some connection to the storyline (war and conflict for Kanthony and literature for Polin).

Casting call - there was an announcement about a casting call while shooting season 3 for a lady that would be leading "the next series." I won't get into all the details, but you can find all the details here: https://x.com/vengerb3rg/status/1742173304494936496. It also references the rumored casting of Masali Baduza in Sophie's role.

Luke Newton interview - Luke Newton did an interview where he mentioned that he was excited to see where Benedict's storyline will go next season. The verbiage could indicate that Benedict's arc will take the spotlight in S4. LN also mentioned having a dinner with all of the previous Bridgerton leads + Luke Thompson which could be a coincidence, or could've been a purposeful gathering.

References to Violet moving into a Dower House - Coming directly from S3 P1, we have a discussion between Violet and Kate about Violet moving into a Dower house. Violet throws a masquerade ball to celebrate moving into the Dower house, which coincidentally is where Benedict first meets Sophie. There have been rumors about this ball taking place at the end of S3.

Luke Thompson being nervous about spoiling Benedict's storyline - Maybe he would've been nervous anyway, but some have suggested that Luke Thompson's apparent anxiety about spoiling Benedict's story arc this season indicates that he is being set up to lead S4.

As I said, none of this should be taken as official confirmation, but the evidence stacks up. There's been a lot of rumors and discussions lately, so if I missed anything, please let me know! I'd love to add it to give an overview of evidence.