#since i learned how easy it is to edit on my phone right in the gallery

[i-aint-nothin-but-a-nasty-dog]

More unhinged low effort Cas memes 🥰

Part 1 here

[niningtori]

mastermind | oneshot

pairing: choi beomgyu x you

summary: you should be used to your relationships failing by now, but after finding out your boyfriend, yeonjun, cheated on you, you're devastated yet again. and beomgyu, your best friend, is there to pick up the pieces, just like always. but isn't it a little odd that things just never seem to work out?

genre: romance, angst, smut (MDNI), yandere

warnings: YANDERE!GYU, manipulation, gaslighting, SMUT (MDNI!) creampie, breeding kink, pregnancy kink, dirty talk, degradation, if i missed anything pls lmk!

word count: 5.1k

notes: ... hi. i'm reposting this with major edits but i hope you all still like it!

｡o.ﾟ｡*･♡♡･*｡ﾟo｡ ｡o.ﾟ｡*･♡♡･*｡ﾟo｡

do you love your boyfriend? of course. do you trust him? of course. so are you surprised to see a photo of him very clearly making out with another woman? well, of course.

your friends, your family, and even passersby would simply tell you you shouldn’t be, though. yeonjun used to be very well known for his sexual escapades, so when you announced he was your boyfriend, nobody was particularly happy for you. especially not your best friend in the whole world, beomgyu. 

“he’s just gonna hurt you, just like the last one!” 

you remember flinching at this. you remember how hurt and indignant you felt at the time. you also remember the silent treatment you gave him, and the cold war that began shortly thereafter. he apologized afterwards, of course, but you had asked him what was so bad about you that he couldn’t just believe that yeonjun had changed for you. he was silent at this, which only made you even angrier. it was all pointless in the end, you suppose.

as you sit on beomgyu’s couch, your phone rings again. you have a special ringtone for yeonjun, so you don’t even bother to check the caller id before you silence it. he’s been calling you incessantly since you texted him that you saw the picture and were done with him. your face is downcast and if you weren't so consumed by your sadness, you'd notice the faint look of delight in beomgyu’s eyes. 

“i think you should just block him,” he says as nonchalantly as he can muster. maybe in another state of mind, you'd register the satisfaction in his tone, but right now? all you can sense is his urgency, which can easily be explained away by selfless and sincere concern. just how he likes it.

“you’re right,” you sigh. “i guess i just don’t understand. things were going so well, and then he goes and does this to me. i don’t know what i did wrong,” you say while burying your face in your hands. he almost can’t control the way his lips want to curl up at this, but he’s become nothing if not a master of containing his true emotions. he’s kept them from your prying eyes for years, after all.

“aww, baby. it’s not you, it’s him. he’s just not the right guy for you,” he coos, but for some reason, you can’t help but be annoyed at his kindness. 

“i know you want to say i told you so, so say it,” you snap, pulling your face from your hands and scowling at him.

“i don’t want —” 

“if you wanted me to learn my lesson, i’ve learned it, alright? i don't need to be taught again,” you say with a huff. you know you’re being unreasonable. you know you’re being a bitch, but you just can’t help it. who told beomgyu to be right about your potential partners all the damn time? fuck his crazy-accurate intuition.

he looks genuinely hurt by your harsh words, though, so you can’t help but feel a wave of regret wash over you. you’re drowning in it, even, as you watch his puppy eyes gloss over.

“beomie, baby, i’m so sorry,” you say, gently grabbing his face with one hand and pushing his long hair behind his ear with the other. “i know i’m being awful to you when you’re just trying to help.”

“it’s okay,” he says solemnly, looking like a kicked puppy. “as long as you’re sorry.” somehow, his easy acceptance of your apology makes you feel even worse. you pull him in for a hug and he buries his face in your neck to a) soak up your scent and b) hide his growing smirk. but you’re too caught up in your feelings to notice.

“it’s really okay,” he assures once you part.

“no, it isn’t. i’m being a shitty friend. how about you stay over tonight? we can watch a movie and i’ll order something for us to eat,” you suggest. he graciously accepts your peace offering and the night is spent with giggles and an overt amount of cuddling.

as you’re drifting off to sleep, you feel beomgyu plant a kiss on your forehead. to anyone else, this might come across as oddly intimate, but you know better. people have said that you two would make a good couple, but you two do nothing but laugh it off every time. they just don’t understand your dynamic. he’s a man like any other, you guess, but seeing him as anything other than a friend is simply laughable. you know he feels the same exact way about you, too, which is why you are unfazed by his next words. 

“i love you. it’s just — i just love you so much, you know?” he whispers.

“aww, beomie. you know i love you, too. you’re my best friend in the whole world,” you murmur as sleep finally overcomes you.

if the lights were on, you’d see how his face falls and contorts into something like a grimace.

-

yeonjun has been spamming you like crazy, so you listen to beomgyu and block his number as well as his social media accounts. you think this whole chapter of your life is over, but, as always, you are wrong.

a week or so after your messy breakup, a sudden knock at your door pulls your attention away from mindless scrolling on your phone. you don't think much of it — it’s probably just beomgyu with some takeout, or something. however, when you look through the peephole, you realize that yeonjun is not finished bothering you just yet. 

“baby, please. i know you’re there. please, just open up. i’ll explain everything!” he pleads. you’re not particularly known for your callousness of heart, so it doesn’t take much more begging for you to feel guilty and let him in. you open your door with a sigh. 

“thank you!” yeonjun says with a look of pure relief as he hurriedly enters your apartment. he takes a seat on your couch (unprompted, you might add) and takes a shaky breath. you cautiously seat yourself on the other end of the couch and prepare to listen to whatever bullshit he has conjured up for your viewing pleasure before you decide that it’s best just to cut to the chase. ripping the band-aid off, and all that.

“look, i don’t care that you’re sorry. there’s nothing you can say to make me change my —” 

“it was beomgyu!” he exclaims before you can get another word out.

“... what?” you ask confusedly. where the hell is he going with this?

“the girl, the picture, fucking everything was all his fucking fault. he did it,” he rants. oh. he must think you’re fucking stupid.

“yeonjun, please don’t waste my time,” you sigh. “i think you should leave,” you add, getting up from your seat.

“wait!” he pleads, reaching for your hand and gently pulling you back down. “remember how i always told you that i had a weird feeling about him? like how something always felt… off?” oh well. if he wants to continue putting on a show, then so be it. besides, it’ll be a funny story to tell beomgyu later on.

you nod.

“well, he always looked at me weirdly. like, whenever i’d walk into the room, there was always this… this tension and i never knew why, but i understood it as soon as we made things official. it’s because he likes you.” you’re silent for a moment and yeonjun actually thinks he’s getting through to you before you burst into near-maniacal laughter. his face falls.

“beomgyu? beomgyu likes me?” you say between giggles. beomgyu loves you like a sister. no way in hell does he harbor a shred of romantic love for you. 

“you’re not listening,” he grunts, slightly tugging at his own hair in frustration. “he’s always been weird, and the other night at the bar, he introduced me to that girl you saw me ‘kissing’. they kept giving me drinks until i could barely fucking see straight. then she kept coming onto me, but i said no. i finally told her to kick rocks, but the next thing i knew was that she was kissing me. i know it sounds crazy, but you have to believe me.” you want to dismiss everything he’s saying, but his utter sincerity seems to strike a chord within you. you can’t say you believe him, but he continues before you can properly digest his words.

“think about it. why the hell would i cheat in such a public place where all of our friends hang out? don't you think i would be smarter than that? and even if i wasn't, you know me. you know i would never cheat on you.” he seems desperate now, but it’s still hard to believe that beomgyu orchestrated this entire thing instead of the very real possibility that yeonjun just got drunk and acted recklessly.

“alright, this isn’t funny anymore. you need to stop,” you warn, not liking how much he’s making sense.

“think,” he repeats with conviction.

so you do. you think back to all of the tumultuous relationships you’ve had until now. they've all ended in different ways, yes, but they all had one common denominator: beomgyu. oh, beomgyu saw your boyfriend getting cozy with his ex. you’re having an argument with your boyfriend? beomgyu thinks he’s a piece of shit because of how he treats you, you obviously deserve better! wait, your boyfriend keeps taking too long to text you back? he’s just losing interest! it’s clearly better to break it off now rather than getting too invested when you’re inevitably going to break up, anyway. and all the other greatest hits. your face twists from focused to horrified as the realization sinks into your bones. it's beomgyu. it’s always been beomgyu. 

you look to yeonjun with pure shock in your eyes and he meets your gaze with a look of sympathy. you finally get it. 

“junie, i’m so sorry,” you say, tears springing into your eyes. “i’m so sorry i doubted you.” 

“it’s okay,” he replies with a melancholy smile. “he manipulated you.” 

“does… does that mean we’re back together now?” you ask, voice tinged with hope. his smile falters at your question, and you feel a sense of dread.

“i need some time,” he says after a pause, dropping his hand from yours. “you really hurt me. i understand that beomgyu manipulated you, but it really hurts that you didn't trust me, you know?” 

“i understand,” you quietly reply. you’d be hurt if the tables were turned — it’s only natural. you just hope to god above that you haven’t let beomgyu ruin another good thing for you.

-

beomgyu is confused as to why you’ve been ignoring him for the better part of a week. you don’t respond when he texts or calls, and his intuition is telling him that it has something to do with yeonjun. maybe you’re just shutting down because of the breakup? it was particularly brutal this time around, after all. he’s lucky that yeonjun has such a lascivious sexual history, or else you might not have bought his little charade, even with the proof presented directly in front of you. that’s how much you love(d) yeonjun. the thought causes jealousy to rear its ugly head in his stomach, but whatever. there’s no way you’re going back to him after the way the scandal has made its way through your social life. even if you do want to get back together with him, there's no way your pride will let you. your pride has been a particularly nasty sort of obstacle in beomgyu’s pursuit of you, but it’s absolutely delicious to be able to use it against you like this. serves you fucking right.

still, it’s his job as your dutiful best friend to cheer you up. with this in mind, he picks up your favorite takeout and heads to your place. he smiles when he imagines the way you’ll gratefully embrace him once you realize that he’s here for you. maybe this time you’ll understand that he’s always been the one who’s there for you when someone hurts you. maybe this time will be his big break, finally freeing him from the purgatory he has been in for god knows how long.

he knocks on your door with a hopeful smile on his face. surprisingly, you’re swinging the door open mere seconds later with your eyes similarly lit up with hope.

“yeon— oh. it’s you,” you say, deflating immediately. there’s a certain sense of resentment in your tone that he catches onto, but he chalks it up to disappointment. his face falls. goddamn it. damn it all to hell.

“i brought you some food to cheer you up,” he says while shaking the plastic takeout bag, completely ignoring the slip of another man’s name. 

he invites himself in, slipping off his shoes and sitting down on the couch as he usually does. 

he waits for you to join him, but when he looks up at you, all he sees is you staring at him, arms crossed and face contorted in anger. surely you can’t be that upset that he’s not yeonjun, right? now that he thinks about it, why would you be expecting yeonjun, anyway? hadn’t you effectively cut him off? did you talk to him and take him back after all that (you think) he’s done? that can’t be right. unless… unless you actually let him talk to you. oh god, please tell him that’s not what happened.

“what’s wrong?” he asks, face devoid of anything deeper than curiosity and worry. 

you’re silent for a moment before you carefully choose your next words.

“i talked to yeonjun,” you reply, and his heart sinks to his stomach. “he told me some… interesting things.”

beomgyu hopes you don’t notice how hard he gulps. you do not.

“what did he say?” he asks, face tense but still showing no clear signs of guilt. 

“he told me what happened that night. he told me how you got him drunk and basically forced that girl onto him. he also said that you’re the reason none of my relationships work out,” you declare, opting to stop beating around the bush and just get some answers. you study his face for a crack of some sort, but there is none.

“and what do you think?” he asks quietly.

“i think… i think he might be telling the truth,” is what you say, but you’re sounding increasingly unsure with every word because beomgyu looks more hurt than you’ve ever seen him.

“you believe him over me?” he asks, voice cracking and lips trembling with his brown eyes glossed over in what you can only describe as devastation. god, either beomgyu’s a really good actor, yeonjun’s a really good actor, or you’re just fucking stupid.

“i… i don’t know what to think, beomgyu,” you whisper after a pause. all he does is nod before his next words pierce your heart.

“is that why you’ve been ignoring me?”

jesus christ. you were so sure that yeonjun was telling the truth when he told you about beomgyu, so ignoring him only seemed natural under the circumstances, but he looks every bit like the victim in light of your accusations. his trembling lips and wounded gaze make you want to strangle yourself for ever doubting him. as you feel yourself being consumed with remorse, though, you remember the sincerity and desperation in yeonjun’s words. maybe this was all a huge misunderstanding? maybe they’re both convinced that they’re right? 

“y-yes. i’m sorry. i was just confused. maybe he just misunderstood?” you babble. he likes your hesitancy, but it’s still wearing on his patience. as much as he wants to say he can’t believe that you’d question him because of some guy you dated, he can believe it when it comes to you. you always, always, always hurt him like this, and he’s had just about enough.

“and what if it’s true?” he asks, pathetic facade wiped clean off of his face while something more somber replaces it entirely. your eyes lock with his and you’re stunned silly. 

“what?” is all you can manage to reply with. 

“what if i pushed that girl onto yeonjun? what if i ruined all of your relationships? what would you do?” 

“so it’s true?!” is all you can say, guilt flaring into sheer rage and hurt. 

“so what if it is?” he asks, as if he doesn’t comprehend how twisted this is.

“so… so how could you do that to me?!” 

“i was only doing what’s best for you,” he impatiently replies. “they were only gonna hurt you, can’t you see that? even before i did anything, there were still all those men who cheated on you, lied to you, used you. what’s wrong with wanting to protect you from people like them? i just couldn’t stand to see you living like that!” he argues, clearly believing he’s completely justified in all of this.

sure, you’ve been hurt before even without his intervention, but that doesn’t mean he can just play puppeteer in your love life to “protect” you from anything similar happening ever again. you trusted him and he manipulated you. he acted like a knight in shining armor this entire time while knowingly sabotaging any potentially good thing that could come your way. and he did it all because he wants to protect you? bullshit. 

“you know, i thought that even if everyone other man in the world could hurt me, you never would,” you say shakily, either from sadness or anger. maybe both. “i guess i was wrong.”

“hurt you?! hurt is watching the person you love fuck other people over and over and over again! hurt is watching you laugh me off and never even fucking considering me as an option, goddamn it!” he yells while slamming his hand on your coffee table. 

“so your solution was to fuck up every relationship i have just to have me to yourself?! do you not realize how fucked up that is?!” you yell back, trying to appear unfazed by his increasingly enraged behavior. he seems to falter at this, genuinely at a loss for words at your unforgiving pinpointing of his erratic actions. the desperate, eager-to-please beomgyu you know all too well is finally back and you feel your confidence surge because of it.

“i only did that because —”

“why? because you love me? or think you do?” you mock with a hollow laugh. “you don’t purposely ruin the life of someone you love.” he looks genuinely wounded by your words. 

“but i —”

“i don’t care. get out,” you say mercilessly. you’re absolutely through with listening to his fucked up ideations about love and what his twisted moral compass deems as justified because of it. you’re so preoccupied with preaching on your soapbox, you don’t even realize his attitude has once again shifted from the compliant beomgyu to the one you don’t recognize at all. 

“... no,” he says flatly. 

“did you not fucking hear me? i said get out,” you repeat through clenched teeth. normally, your raised hackles would be enough to scare him off, so you figure he’ll tuck his tail and leave right about now. oh, how wrong you are.

“are you deaf?” he asks with a sneer. “i said no.”

“what do you mean, no?” you ask. somewhere in the depths of your mind, alarm bells begin ringing, but it’s far too late to heed them. plus, you’re still under the impression that he’ll bend to your will. 

“oh, so you’re not deaf. just stupid,” he snorts. your jaw is agape at his audacity. beomgyu has caught an attitude and gotten fresh with you before, sure, but nothing like this. to say you’re dumbstruck would be to put things in the mildest of terms. you can barely get out your next sentence.

“w-what do you mean?” 

“i’m not leaving this apartment,” he says firmly, and before you can even ask him to explain, he’s dragging you away with a painful grip.

“ow! beomgyu, you’re hurting m—” 

“shut up. i told you what real hurt is, but you're not fucking listening. i don't want to hear another word come out of your mouth,” he says in a monotone voice. if the alarm bells were ringing in the depths of your mind before, they’re absolutely blaring at the forefront of your brain right now. 

“what are y-you —”

“i thought i told you to shut up,” he snaps before roughly grabbing your face and planting his lips on yours. the kiss is crude. it’s absolutely vulgar with the way it’s all tongue and teeth and saliva, but after a few seconds of uncertainty, you find yourself melting into it. this is wrong. you two are the best of friends, almost like brother and sister. and more than that, you love yeonjun, right? you’re supposed to be working on getting back together with him, aren’t you? but your reason starts to be sucked away as you feel his hands caress your body, leaving nothing but fire in their wake.

you don’t know how you got here, almost completely naked as you lay on your back while beomgyu continues attacking your lips. it’s blazing hot and you can’t help but feel your underwear becoming wet with every moan that escapes his mouth and consequently reverberates onto your tongue. as if he already knows the intricacies of your internal battle, one of his hands finds its way to your now soaking wet pussy and he uses his index and middle fingers to spread the slickness around. he swirls his fingers around your hole and just barely pushes one of them into the entrance. you gasp at the shallow intrusion and you can feel his notorious shit-eating grin pressed across your lips as he feels how tight you are. you’re ridiculously turned on and he knows it. he pauses his actions only to unzip his pants and yank them down to his knees. your eyes widen at what you can only describe as his huge appendage, all reddened and already leaking. you feel your cunt throbbing with even more need at the sight, but your last shred of reason still makes you hesitate.

“beomgyu, we can't… we're friends, and yeonjun is —”

“can’t you just let me make you feel good? god, you’re making this so difficult, but what the fuck else is new,” he growls. 

he's right. you are making things difficult. there's no way of salvaging your friendship after this, so what's the point in holding back now? you realize that while he may be absolutely unhinged, his feelings for you are real. do you reciprocate them? you don’t know yet, but the thought of him doting on another person the same way he dotes on you makes you feel uneasy. as for yeonjun? well, he deserves better than the cesspool of turbulent emotions that you currently find yourself in. 

“you still sure you don’t want me?” he asks cockily. you, with all of your pride, can only muster up a feeble shake of your head. he knew the answer before you gave it to him, but his condescending gaze shows you that your words have scratched a certain itch of his.

he rubs his hardened length against your folds and it’s all you can do to resist locking your ankles around his waist and pulling him into you, but something stops you. protection. you don’t even have to say it, because he knows you too well for your own good.

“let me fuck you raw,” he says breathily, just barely poking his length into your tight hole. “i know you need it, baby. just let me take care of you.” you’re silent for a moment before pinching out your next words.

“p-pull out?” he won’t because he knows you’ll be begging him for his cum when he’s done with you, and you already know he won’t, even when he nods and promises he will. you don't know why you even asked. 

the ache you feel to have him buried inside you is quickly replaced by the ache you feel once he begins to stretch you out. it’s a stinging, burning sort of pain, but that’s nothing in comparison to the pure pleasure you feel as his flared tip drags along your walls. he begins with thrusting shallowly, fucking you open like you’re a virgin, and you’re so tight while he’s so big, you might as well be. 

painfully slowly, he pushes each and every inch of himself into your gummy hole. he reaches places you didn’t even know existed and stretches you open so good all you have the brainpower to call the sensation is fullness. overwhelming fullness. when he finally sheathes himself in you completely, a strangled cry leaves both of your throats as you feel him throbbing inside of you and he, in turn, feels you pulsating around him. 

after you adjust, you expect him to start drilling into you with reckless abandon, but he does nothing of the sort. just watches you with a strange look on his face. 

“b-beomie? what are you doing?” you ask pathetically, head raising up from its place on the pillows to meet his wanton gaze.

“beg me for it.”

“beg for w—” your question is interrupted by a sharp smack on your sensitive pussy. 

“beg me for it. beg me to fuck you like a whore. i won’t tell you again,” he says menacingly. your bleary eyes are so confused, so stupid, and so, so cute, but he’s determined to use the last of his self-control to get you to feel even a fraction of the desperation he’s felt for years. well, even if you don’t, he’ll spend the whole night fucking you dumb until you do. but you’re so hungry for his dick, you don’t even realize that he’s bluffing.

finally, you understand what he’s asking of you, and you waste no time to comply. 

“n-need your cock, beomie. need you to make me f-feel good,” you say, trying to retain even a semblance of your dignity. this brings a mean smirk to his face, but he’s not done with you, yet.

“surely you can do better than that?” he taunts, rocking his hips ever so slightly so you can feel every inch of his length and girth teasingly hitting your cervix, but providing no relief. fuck your dignity. you need him.

“please! please, i need you! need your cock to fill me up!” you whine.

“mhmm, and?”

“need you to fuck me! need you to fill me up with your cum!” well, there goes your resolve to have him pull out. this seems to satisfy his sadistic desires.

“oh, my love. all you had to do was ask,” he says with a grin. and that’s when he starts. 

his hips meet yours in the most punishing way, and that’s what this is: a punishment for the way you’ve treated him all these years. you can feel it in the way that his fingernails dig into your skin and in the way that he mercilessly presses down on your tummy until all you can feel is pressure building up to something unknown.

“who else can fuck you like this? who else can split you open like this?” he asks as lewd squelches reverberate throughout the room. 

“n-nobody! only you, beomie!” you cry.

“that’s my good girl, such a good girl. baby just needs me to use her like a fucktoy, right?” and all you can do is whine and clench in carnal need as the poor springs of your bed squeak with every unforgiving thrust.

“oh, you like that, don’t you?” he snickers. “you like being my little whore. you’re just a toy for me, alright? free to use whenever i feel like it.” you nod in agreement and he lets out a chuckle as he pounds into you at an unimaginable speed, balls slapping your ass with every fiery thrust. each time he pumps into you, your pussy’s clamping down on him and sucking him in like that’s where he’s meant to be. and maybe it is. 

“god, i’m close,” he groans after pumping into you for what feels like hours, and you whimper like a bitch in heat. “honey, don’t worry,” he tuts. “i’ll fuck you every day, i’ll fill you with my cum so you can’t leave. not that you’ll want to after this. you’re made for me, made to be my cumdump whenever i want.” 

“y-yes!” you shriek, somehow liking the idea of being full of his cum forever and ever. 

“that’s my girl. baby just wants me to fuck her good. that’s all you needed, right? that’s why you’ve been such a brat. you just needed me to show you what it’s like to be fucked right,” he says, rolling your clit for good measure, which is enough to make you reach your high as it comes crashing down around you. beomgyu wasn’t lying when he said he was close, so when he feels you clenching around his big cock as if you’re milking him for all that he’s worth, you feel it twitching before hot bursts of cum paint your inner walls until you’re leaking white and seeing stars. he continues with slow, lazy pumps until he softens. you stay like that for an indeterminable amount of time, breathing raggedly while your bodies are overcome with thrums of delight. 

when he finally pulls out and lays down beside you, bodies slick with sheens of sweat, he pushes your hair back behind your ear and plants a kiss on your temple. shakily, he takes his hand and rubs it along your distended tummy, full of his cum. he lovingly strokes it with an awed smile on his face.

“such a good girl for me,” he repeats. “i can’t wait until you’re pregnant. you’ll have as many babies as i can give you, right?” and all you can do is nod deliriously. he smiles in satisfaction as you eagerly agree to his every nasty, perverted thought. “god, i love you so much. and you love me too, right? say it. say you love me.”

“i love you.” and you realize that you do.  this man is deranged, but he’s yours, and for better or for worse, you're his. especially now that you might very well be carrying his children. and even if you aren’t, you know he’ll make good on his promises to keep fucking you until you are. should you be glad that he effectively ruined every potential relationship for you? you were unsure before, but you realize that nobody has or ever will love you as much as he does, even if he has a demented way of showing it. well, it is what it is. there’s no way out after this.

notes pt. 2: i hope this goes over better after the editing!

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[sindar-princeling]

LOTR Newsletter 3 Shire Drift - FAQ

Hello everyone!

Just like last year: for those of you who are already familiar with The Lord of the Rings Newsletter, this serves as an announcement that I'm doing it again; and for those who aren't - an introduction to the project :)

What is LOTR Newsletter?

I'm one of the people who subscribed to Dracula Daily in May 2022, and immediately thought, "Hey, I can do this too but with XYZ!" - XYZ being The Lord of the Rings. Because the events of LOTR also have specific dates ascribed to them, we're gonna be reading LOTR as it happened.

When does it take place?

Because of the way the beginning of LOTR is structured (read: because I don't want to leave six-month-long breaks between the first entries), we're gonna start on September 15th - a week before September 22nd, when the main events start to take place. It's also the publishing date of the Silmarillion, but that's just a fun fact for my own enjoyment.

From September 15th to September 19th, we'll read the prologue, and the fragments preceding Frodo's departure from the Shire. From September 20th, we'll be reading according to the dates in the book until April 8th. Then we'll be reading last parts of the book - which are stretched over a long time - once a week, to once again avoid lengthy breaks in delivery.

The Newsletter will last from September 15th to May 26th.

Where do I go if I want to post/talk about something related to the Newsletter with other readers?

We discuss current (and not only current) entries in the #lotr newsletter tag, and we have a Discord server set by the amazing @k-she-rambles! (I really hope this time I managed to generate a link that never expires...)

How do I subscribe?

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[hellfire--cult]

Baring Teeth {Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader} - Ch. 13

Edit of Eddie: pitifulbaby

Chapters: Masterlist (Go here to see list of chapters, plotline and general warnings.)

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Tropes: Enemies to Lovers, Non-Traditional Omegaverse, Slow burn, Modern!AU, Mechanic!Eddie

⚠️This chapter contains: Angst, billy x reader, nervousness, allusions to homophobia, hurt

wc: 6.4k

A/N: Sorry for taking so long. I took a little break because november was a pretty messy month for me. I had complete writer's block, and I am slowly coming back to writing.

Anyways, Enjoy! ❤️ And don't forget to always support me by hitting the reblog button or leave a comment!

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CHAPTER 13

“Am I interrupting?”

Your eyes snapped open as you turned to look at Robin who walked right into your office with a smirk to her face. You rolled your eyes, turning back to look at your phone with a shake of your head, the male on the other side laughing.

“You know what Buckley, you are.” Eddie said and you saw his smile spreading as he also earned another roll of your eyes. 

“Eddie is just showing me what else needs replacing in my car.”

“Cause you took it to Rick’s all this time, and everything in it is garbage–”

“Don’t insult my car Munson.” You glared at the phone this time and he raised one hand up in defense.

It’s been two weeks since you talked with Eddie… And since then, you two have grown close… Very close. How you didn’t talk to Eddie before? You had no idea. When you all get together at the bar or at someone’s house, you two always end up in your own world. You assumed that you were both trying to catch up on eachother, learning about one another still, and you were surprised each day by how easy and normal it was to talk to him.

“To me, it sounds like you are replacing me.” Robin pouted as she walked over to you to come into frame and glare at Eddie through the camera and the man only smirked at her with a playful glint in his eyes.

“Aw, you’re scared I’m going to steal your best friend status Buckley?”

“That’s never happening.” You said in a deadpan expression which made Eddie pull an offended frown on his eyebrows.

“Seriously? I give you friendly discounts at my shop!” He yelled at you and you couldn’t help but snort at how he tried to sound hurt from it, but it only came out as a comical act.

“You can’t buy my friendship Munson, and even if you handed me a billion dollars, Robin will always be first.” At your words, Robin blew a raspberry towards the phone, throwing a fart sound at Eddie. Robin’s arms wrapped around your waist and she rested her head on your shoulder while looking at Eddie, a grin to her face.

“You wish this was you, huh.” For some reason, those words Robin let out of her mouth gave you a feeling of embarrassment? They just simply made your belly twist in a way that wasn’t comfortable but it wasn’t unpleasant. 

Eddie on the other side shook his head, yet he felt his jaw clenching slightly, which he dismissed immediately. 

“Sure. Anyways, I gotta go, the new brake discs are coming in next week. We really need to put those in at least before you cause an accident.” You rolled your eyes at him and before you could say anything against that, “No comebacks. I am surprised you didn’t die yet.”

“I drive safely.” You retorted, almost offended, but Robin was amused and let out a snort out of her mouth. Your head snapped to look at her with a death glare and she backed away from you with her hands up in the air in defense.

“I’ll believe it when I see it. Talk to you later.”

“Sure– Oh, about the payment–”

“Next month is okay.” You sighed at his words and you shook your head at him.

“I can do a check.” It was his turn to snort.

“No, it’s fine, seriously Peach.” Eddie sucked in his right cheek as he looked at you and his brows twitched slightly when you sent a smile his way. It was still new, this friendship you two have, and it seems he is still a little weirded out that you smile at him so easily. Not that he is any different. 

“Alright, if you insist, I will take advantage of your kindness.” You heard a commotion behind him as he squatted slightly as if ducking and he just yelled at someone before turning back at you.

“I gotta go before these fuckers do something– FUCKING CHRIST, GARETH–!” And then the call ended. You were left laughing at the whole ordeal, putting the phone down to go back to your laptop, only to feel a presence behind you and you remembered your best friend came into the room a few minutes ago. You turned your chair to look at her, and Robin had her arms crossed over her chest as she looked at you.

“Well, I see you’re slowly changing me.” Robin has always been known for over exaggerating things, and this was one of them. You rolled your eyes and turned again to type on your computer.

“I am not Robs.” You defended yourself but it was true you and Eddie had become very close, but it wasn’t as nearly as how you and Robin are. 

“You talk to him everyday, be it because of a TikTok or a Reel, or just simply messaging.” Robin walked towards you and leaned her butt against the edge to rest there as she looked down at you. 

“We just… We clicked. Putting the past behind us.”

“Which still sounds fucking crazy to me. To everyone really– I mean, you two really hated each other.” And you didn’t need a reminder of that. 

“It was very pitiful. We were hurting each other when we could have helped one another. I hurt him and he hurt me, and all for nothing.” Robin nodded at you, and she agreed with you on that. You had told her about what you and Eddie talked about, and you even bared to her how guilty you felt about so many things you said to him. 

Robin explained that everyone’s stories are private, so you didn’t really blame her for not telling you stuff about Eddie’s life, just like she didn’t tell Eddie anything about you.

“I know… I am glad though. You two seem to be enjoying one another’s company so… that’s good.” Robin said sincerely and you smiled up at her. “And what about Billy? How do you think everything will go once they meet?”

“Well, I think they will hit it off instantly.” In all honesty, you didn’t know if that was true. Eddie and Billy had different yet alike personalities in some sense. Aloof, cheeky, yet attentive if needed. It would be the first time you were going to introduce Eddie to him, and Billy only knows Eddie as the friend who sends you memes all the time.

He doesn’t even know his name is Eddie. You will introduce them tomorrow night.

And you were hoping everything turns out okay.

Things with Billy have been…

Normal.

Ever since meeting your friends, your boyfriend has been a little bit weirder than usual. You wanted to have an all together with his friends and yours, so that the two groups would collide and meet, but all you received from your boyfriend was a talk on how his friends are known figures, and they cannot be seen going out at all.

That felt weird in some sense because you distinctly remember them saying something about going out to a club whenever they get a chance to do so. They didn’t look like the type of people that would avoid the public eye, but rather, seek it. Always seeking it.

Today, you and your boyfriend would go to Robin and Steve’s home, get some drinks, spend time with your friends, but sometimes now you just want to be alone with them. Your boyfriend, even if at the beginning was not very friendly with your group, he now seems to want to be included at every gathering.

You didn’t want to be a bitch about it, cause maybe he does like talking to Argyle a lot. But, they can just message each other to get together by themselves, right? No need for Billy to always be on an outing with you, yet, he sticks with you like a leech. 

You wonder how tonight everything will go with Eddie. Hopefully, he is the one that makes your boyfriend finally have some fun inside the group. You’re pretty sure they will get along nicely… hopefully.

You were in the bathroom, throwing the curtain to the side in order to open it as steam floods the entire tiled room. You step out of the tub after turning off the scorching water, just how you like it. Hot showers always help with your nerves, they never miss it. You sigh in contentment only to be struck with the fact that you didn’t bring a towel inside. 

You groaned as your body started shivering slightly as the air hit your wet skin. You didn’t want to yell so much in respect for your neighbors, so you leaned and opened the door, opening your mouth to call out to your boyfriend, only to stop when you heard his muffled voice behind the bedroom door. 

“I told you I don’t want to do it!”

Silence.

“I don’t want to be part of something I don’t see right.”

Silence again. What is he talking about?

“I know it’s for publicity, I know, and I don’t care what the voting polls in social media say, I won’t stand for something I don’t believe is right.”

Polls? Social media?

“Okay, okay, fine. Fine. I will say I stand by it.”

You were blinking, trying to understand what your boyfriend was talking about just now. A publicity stunt? Agree to what? A belief of his? You heard footsteps and immediately closed the door of the bathroom as quietly as possible and you felt your heart beating loudly in your chest. You jumped in your place when he knocked on the door.

“Baby? You okay in there?” Fuck, he can’t know you were eavesdropping.

“Y-Yeah! I was calling you to get me a towel but you weren’t listening to me Billy! I am freezing over here!” You tried to put on that whiny voice he loves when you get a little bit angry at him. You heard him chuckle but wince at your tone.

“Shit honey, I’m sorry. I’ll get it for you!” You heard his steps walk away from the bathroom and you let out the air you were holding in.

Something’s not right.

Something is definitely not right.

You don’t know what it is, but there is just this feeling in your gut that something will happen, that something is not what it seems, that there is this idea in your head you are afraid that is true but you don’t want to believe it. Not from him. Not when you started to feel more and more for him each day.

Only to be starting to wash away the more and more you learn from him.

“Billy!” You yelled again and the door opened completely, revealing a smirking Billy Hargrove on the other side while holding a white towel in hand. 

“You want it?” He aimed to hand it to you, but as soon as you were going to catch it, he snatched it away with his teeth showing. “Come get it.”

And that’s how you end up chasing your stupid boyfriend through the whole apartment, completely naked while he runs around, laughing in delight, towel in hand. 

You didn’t want to believe it.

So when you finally get to dry yourself off, and get some clothes on for tonight is when your nerves start settling in, harder than before. Something in your gut was turning, uncomfortably, nervously, knowing that something was not right, that something was going to happen, that something had been happening all this time that you decided to simply look away from.

You looked at him, at your splendid boyfriend and you still don’t know how he chose someone like you. How he decided it was you the one he was going to risk his fame for. He was choosing a red button-up shirt today, his hair in a small ponytail in the back. You don’t know how you two came to be.

And yet, you still haven’t told him your story. You haven’t told him a few parts of yourself you didn’t feel ready to tell him, but will that time ever come? Why is it so hard to open up to him?

“You ready to go?” Billy asked you as he walked towards you after checking himself in the mirror one last time. You smiled up at him and gave him a nod.

“Yeah. Let’s go.”

“You finally made it, Jesus.” Robin greeted you as she opened the door for you, and you rolled your eyes at your friend’s comment. You were late, yes… but it was because Billy took his sweet time always getting ready. You scolded him a few times for it, but he always tells you he has to keep his skincare routine intact. 

“What a greeting.” You heard Billy mutter under his voice as you two walked into the house, music already invading your ears and the chattering of your friends, making your nerves go away a little, only for confusion and disappointment to fill your gut. You turned your head as Robin came back from closing the door behind you both.

“Where’s Eddie?” You asked, and your boyfriend’s head snapped to you and then back at Robin.

“I think he is running late! What, already missing your NEW best friend?” Robin answered with a huff, and you could only giggle at her jealousy, not noticing the storm that was brewing inside your boyfriend’s chest. 

“Quit that Robs.”

“Who’s Eddie?” 

Robin looked at your boyfriend for a second with a confused frown on her face and then back at you. For some reason, there was a turn in your stomach because you realized you never told Billy about Eddie. He just knew there was a friend missing from the group he still hadn’t met yet.

“Um, the last friend you don’t know.” You looked at him and his blue orbs were not very helpful. You couldn’t quite read his eyes as they looked at you, but a twitch in the eyebrow told you he was thinking. 

“Why did she call him your best friend?” And Robin was looking panicked between you and your boyfriend, and you simply smiled at Billy, shaking your head.

“It’s Robin being dramatic.”

“Why did she call him that? I mean–” And you could see the moment Billy’s head clicked, an eyebrow raised up. “Is he the one you’ve been talking to for the past few weeks?”

“Okay, you say we talked, we mostly sent memes to one another.” You tried to defend yourself, but against what? You didn’t do anything wrong. So why do you feel the need to explain yourself?

“Right.” You could see the change in mood in Billy’s body language. This night was already turning in a way that you didn’t expect, or you wanted to avoid. Robin shot you a look with a worried frown and you turned to go into the living room where everyone else was. 

“Billy! My man!” You could hear Argyle yell and god fucking bless Argyle. You saw how he rushed towards you both as Robin walked towards Nancy and whispered into her ear. You knew she was going to tell Nancy about what just happened at the front door with Billy. There is an uneasiness in your throat as Argyle hands you a beer and Billy another. 

“Hi, Argyle.” Billy spoke and you took a sip out of your beer as you felt Billy’s arm wrap around your waist, pulling you close. You raised an eyebrow at that, looking at him. Why did he trap you with him? You wanted to go say hi to Steve and Jonathan, but you guessed you could do that in a few minutes.

“I have so much to tell you Billy man, I tried that shampoo and conditioner you recommended and it left my hair perfectly smooth, but curly man!” You couldn’t help but giggle at Argyle’s commentary and Billy followed through, shaking his head at your friend.

“I told you to get that brand but for straight hair. Not curly.” You looked at Argyle’s hair and sure enough, there were some waves at the end of his long hair. Billy smiled but there was a hint of something hidden behind it as he talked to Argyle once more, “Who is this Eddie guy?”

“Ah, my brochacho, we met way back in California, and then I followed him here.” Argyle replied with a genuine smile and Billy for some reason let out a sigh of relief, making you frown in confusion. 

“Oh, that’s nice. You two are close then.” 

“Yeah, very!” You felt the tightness on your waist loosen up, and Billy shot a smile your way, kissing the top of your head. You blinked in confusion and you stepped away to finally go greet Steve and Jonathan who were looking at you with worried faces.

“What was that all about?” Steve asked and you shook your head, taking a long sip out of your beer. There was a pit in your stomach, a nervousness you couldn’t quite describe, a sense of deja vu of some sort.

“I have no clue, but…” You didn’t want to worry your friends with these things going on inside your head. They would question your boyfriend and you don’t want that but at the same time, you want to tell someone about these feelings you’ve been having lately, or the realization of these feelings. 

It’s not like you didn’t notice the drastic changes in Billy over the past months, and it all started when he met your friends, but it got better… Yet, you couldn’t help but notice certain aspects and your feelings started swaying from side to side. A sense of dread, of being afraid to know the truth.

“But?” Jonathan asked and you opened your mouth to then close it once again when the doorbell rang, making your head turn to the direction of the door. You were feeling your heart in your throat, and excitement grew in your stomach.

Nancy was the one who walked to get the door this time, and you looked over at Argyle and Billy talking excitedly. You saw how Argyle was gesturing as he talked, and you saw how your boyfriend laughed at his commentary. Maybe he and Eddie will get along. You were worrying about nothing.

And then Nancy stepped aside to let Eddie walk in. 

You felt some heat coming up on your cheeks, across your body, but you shook it off as the beer kicking in your system. Your eyes scanned his outfit now. Dark jeans, ripped in some parts, a tight Slayer T-Shirt with a jean vest on top. His hair was in a low bun like always, and the stubble was neatly done. 

You wondered what cologne he was using today.

Your mind was snapped back in reality when Eddie approached you, putting the six-pack on the table. He had a warm smile on his face as he flicked your forehead with his middle finger. You winced at the sudden pain, rubbing your skin while glaring up at him.

“What was that for!?” You whined at him and he raised an eyebrow at you.

“For making me watch the stupidest movie ever.”

“Did you just call ‘When Harry Met Sally’ stupid!?” You couldn’t help but be slightly upset by that. It was one of your favorites, and you also liked watching Eddie’s movie suggestion, ‘Armageddon’.

“I am not a fan of those kinds of movies sweetheart.” He was looking at you as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, but there was a sly smile in his lips, tugging up, making you smile at him.

“You’re a lying piece of shit. You liked the movie.” He chuckled and shook his head at you, but you knew he liked it. He was just messing with you to get a rise out of you.

“I’m not lying.”

“Yes you are! You loved that cheesy crap, admit it.” You poked his side, which made him chuckle, moving away from you.

“This is still too weird.” You heard Jonathan talk and you lifted your head to ask what he meant only for your waist to suddenly be grabbed, fingers digging into the skin making you wince just slightly. You turned your head to see Billy looking at Eddie with a grin on his face.

“I don’t think we’ve met.” The voice your boyfriend let out was not friendly. It was strained as if it pained him talking right now. Eddie glanced at you for just a second, and you cleared your throat as your nerves tried to get the best of you.

“Right, Billy, this is Eddie.” Eddie gave your boyfriend a forced smile, and you could feel the tension in the air as the light blue eyes clashed with the brown ones. 

“Yeah. You’re Argyle’s boyfriend, right?”

Oh. Oh god. It’s happening again. Eddie’s eyebrow twitched and gave you a questioning look and he could see the confused frown on your face. He looked at his friend and sighed, knowing that Argyle probably made it sound that way. Just like he did last year with you and you mistook it all as well.

“Fucking christ– No. He is just my friend.”

“Oh?” Billy’s eye twitched as he kept looking at Eddie, and you could feel him tugging you closer to him as he kept looking at the dark-haired man. “Then you aren’t dating?”

“No. I am straight.”

And for some reason, you felt the whole air shift. Eddie’s face suddenly fell into a confused frown, and then into an annoyed one instantly, as Billy’s gaze hardened. 

“Right. He is the friend you’ve been messaging all the time?”

Billy’s eyes now landed on you and you looked at him to only have a sinking feeling in your stomach. You felt your throat closing up at his gaze, and you knew. You simply knew what was going on in his mind. Eddie was looking back and forth in between you and Billy, and he could see how your boyfriend’s jaw clenched.

“I– um–” 

“Billy! You promised to help me with the drinks!” You heard Argyle yell from the kitchen and Billy groaned as he closed his eyes in annoyance. You felt a slight grip on your waist again and then he let go of you, almost unwillingly, giving Eddie one last look before he left. You were staring at his retreating back as he headed to the kitchen, with a confused frown on your face.

“He’s… charming.” Eddie said with not an ounce of likeness in his tone, almost in disgust. He had a bad feeling in his stomach, but he wasn’t going to tell you that. He didn’t want to alarm you in any way, but you looked already confused and nervous. He didn’t want to add more wood to the fire.

“I– I need a smoke.” You stated and immediately rushed out to the backyard, fumbling with the pack of cigarettes in the pocket of your purse. What was going on? Why did Billy’s demeanor change so suddenly? You never told him it was Eddie the one you were messaging, but did it really matter?

You put the cigarette in your mouth, and now you were fumbling to get the lighter out, but you couldn’t find it. Billy doesn’t like it when you smoke, but he smokes as well. You don’t understand that train of thought, but you don't care right now. A flame appeared in front of you from a red lighter and you knew who it was without even looking at him. You leaned forward and lit the cigarette, taking a long puff.

“You look nervous.” Eddie lit his own stick, mimicking the long puff like you did, and you both let out the smoke out of your lungs.

“I just… don’t understand why he is being… this possessive?”

“Well, he might be overwhelmed by how much more of a man I am.” He joked and you snorted, shaking your head at him. He gave you a small grin and took another puff of his cigarette. “You also look pretty today, people tend to become protective when their partner shines.”

You were taken aback by his response. Did you hear him right?

“Oh Munson thinks I am pretty.” You joked, taking another swig of your stick, turning to look at him, but he wasn’t laughing as he looked to the distance.

“No denying there.”

Thump.

He was just being friendly. Steve complimented you before, Nancy did too, so it should be fine. He was just being a nice friend, telling you that you look nice tonight, that is all. So why do you feel your hands sweating?

“Uh–”

“Are you not going to say I look pretty too? C’mon, I even put a red shirt on today, not a black one.” He chuckled to lose the tension but inside, Eddie was a little nervous. The compliment slipped out of his tongue with ease, too much ease. You giggled, the tension going away, and shook your head at him.

“The red and the black go hand in hand with you, it’s not new.” 

“What do you want me to wear? A pink shirt? A baby blue crop top?” You exploded with laughter at the image that came to your head, making him face you with a smile to his face.

“With the care bears at the front!” At that, he too let out a laugh. It was easy being with Eddie, carefree, natural even. You were still amazed by that fact, and cannot even remember how you two disliked each other before. 

You both smoked your cigarettes, sharing jokes with one another, laughing, making the nervousness in your belly leave to a faraway place.

“It’s crazy to think I almost beat the shit out of you out here and now we are laughing together.” You put the cigarette out in the small ashtray that was on the garden table and Eddie followed suit with a chuckle.

“You? Beating the shit out of me? Are you sure about that Peach?” He stood in front of you, crossing his arms over his chest as he inspected you with a squint of his eyes. You copied his stance, and his eyes diverted for a second to your cleavage and went back up to your eyes.

“You think I can’t?” He barked out a laugh at that.

“Sweetheart, if I wanted to, I could pin you to the floor using only one hand.”

And oh, that didn’t cause the reaction you thought it would. It was friendly, it was him telling you he is stronger than you… Yet your stomach did a flip at the thought. He could definitely pin you down, and you know that because of his height and the arms that are big and filled with tattoos. 

He looked at you when you didn’t answer him back, and he noticed the look your face had as if processing a thought, and he felt a shockwave run down his spine. His thoughts were cut off when he sensed a pair of eyes looking his way, and he raised his head up to see Billy glaring at him as he leaned over the doorframe of the sliding doors with his arms crossed over his chest.

You blinked and quickly turned around to see your boyfriend with a stern look on his face. Now you realize how fast your heart was beating into your chest, and now you felt the nervousness creep up on you again as you stared at Billy’s piercing gaze.

“Billy–”

“Can I talk to you for a second? Privately?”

You slowly nodded at that, giving Eddie one look telling him sorry you’re leaving, and turned to go with Billy. He didn’t grab you or hold your hand, simply turned away, guiding you toward the kitchen. You could sense your friend’s eyes following you as you walked into the kitchen, Billy closing the door behind you.

“Um… is everything okay?” 

“You think everything is fucking okay?”

You were stunned at his aggressiveness, never had heard him this way before. You didn’t know what could have possibly happened tonight, but you might have just a slight idea of what and why.

“What is wrong with you?”

“You fucked him, didn’t you?”

And your mouth fell agape at that. Did you hear him right?

“Sorry, what did you say?”

“For fuck sake, you fucked him, didn’t you?”

So you did hear right. Was he talking about Eddie? Why would he come up with that conclusion? What made him believe such a thing between you two?

“I was hoping I heard wrong William, what the fuck are you talking about?” Billy only scoffed with a fake smile on his lips as he leaned against the counter.

“Don’t you dare lie to me! I know you fucked him. That is not just a friend, calling you 'sweetheart'? Giggling together like middle schoolers?”

Was he serious right now? You were feeling your heart breaking, thrumming in your chest in an aggressive manner, and you wanted to run away, you did, but you had to face him. You had to talk to him, once and for all.

“He is my friend! I act that way with Steve, Jonathan!”

“Yeah, well, they’re gay! I don’t care about them!” You could hear the anger in his voice, the way the vein in his forehead was popping out. Your throat was trying to close as a lump was beginning to form, but you weren’t going to back down from this.

“What about Argyle!? He is straight and my friend!” You yelled back at him and he ran a hand through his hair as his nostrils started flaring up from anger.

“I don’t buy for a second he is straight. He is all over me, all the time.”

And the reality of it all hits you like a brick to the face. You remained quiet for a second, feeling your past months with him slip away from your fingers. The image you had of him had been tainted for a while, but this completely smeared the picture.

“And is there a problem if he is?”

And that made Billy look at you, defying you to keep going, almost warning you to shut up, but no… not with this. You liked Billy. You really did.

“What are you saying–”

“You do know that I’m bisexual, right?”

And silence fell in the kitchen. And you saw it. You saw how his eyes turned from anger to complete confusion, to then frown as he looked at you. It was your turn now to scoff, tears filling your eyes as you started pacing around the kitchen, trying to gather your thoughts.

“You…” He couldn’t even speak, and you didn’t want him to. He shouldn’t speak now.

“I thought I was fucking wrong, I seriously didn’t want to believe it. I didn’t want to believe that my boyfriend… that my boyfriend is–” You cannot even say the word. You can’t. You choked on your own sob as you covered your mouth with your hand. Billy’s face softened and he walked towards you, trying to put a hand on your shoulder.

“Baby–”

“Don’t fucking touch me!” You swung his hand away with the back of yours and you stepped away, your face displaying the rage that your heart wanted to let out. “Let me ask you a fucking question, Billy. Are you for or against same-sex couples adopting?” 

And he realized it. You saw how his face turned into an angry one again, his eyes squinting at you as he remembered earlier today.

“You eavesdropped.” 

“You bet the fuck I did. And you, Billy Hargrove, are a homophobic asshole.” 

Silence. 

It was like a knife. Those words coming out of your mouth were stabbing you more than they stabbed him. You should have realized it when some of the dark jokes he and his friends did involved… you can’t even think about it. How could he? Why?

“Just because I do not share the same ideals, doesn’t make me homophobic. If I were, I wouldn’t be able to even talk to your friends for fuck sake!” He defended himself but what was the point? There wasn’t any, your heart couldn’t take it anymore, it really couldn’t. You could feel the tears sliding down your cheeks, shaking your head at him, taking a step back from him.

“I want you to leave.” Your words came out like venom, and he frowned at you, shaking his head.

“If I leave, you are coming with me, we need to talk this out–”

“There is nothing to talk about! Fucking leave!” Your voice was loud, his voice was loud, and everything was static around you, your vision clouding as he came close to you once more, trying to get hold of your hands.

“Baby, baby, come on, don’t be like that… We’ll go home and we’ll talk about this–” His voice sounded desperate now, and your tears were still running down your cheeks, your mind shutting him out completely as you shook your head again, desperate for him to leave. You didn’t want him near you. You were disgusted, completely disgusted.

“N-No!” Billy’s face crumbled into a stern look once more and he quickly got hold of your bicep in a tight grip, snapping you back into reality as he glared down at you.

“I am not leaving you alone here, with him. So if I leave, you are coming with me.” You tried to yank your arm away from his grip but he kept his hand tight on your arm, and you were feeling his digits digging more and more onto your skin, making your fear grow at each second.

“Let go of me Billy!” You tried again only to be pulled against him and you felt as if your heart were in your throat, his touch completely burning you, wanting it away from you. He wasn’t physical, never, and this is the first time he ever touched you in this way. 

“Please sweets, listen to me!” He was desperate for you, trying to get you to talk to him but you shook your head again and as he tried to move you once more, he felt the back of his shirt be yanked harshly, making him let go of your arm as he stumbled backward.

“What the actual fuck do you think you are doing?” 

Your eyes widened as you saw a broad back stepping before you, and the smell of wooden cologne immediately invaded your nostrils. You rubbed onto your arm as you straightened up to take a step to the side to see Billy looking at Eddie with a glare in his eyes.

“This doesn’t concern you. It involves me, and my girlfriend.” 

“From what I heard it seems she doesn’t hold that title anymore.” Eddie was almost snarling at Billy, completely blocking him from you in a defensive stance. Billy’s eyes caught yours, shaking his head.

“You– You’re still my girl, right?”

You felt the lump in your throat again, memories of the good times you spent with him flashing in front of your eyes. Memories that made you want to go around Eddie to get to him and hug him and kiss him. But then you saw your friends, looking at the scene at the doorway. Your friends. The ones who wouldn’t hurt you, and if they did, never intentionally.

And even if your heart breaks, even if your body trembles with need of him, with the need of his lips, with the need of his eyes on you…

You slowly shook your head at him.

“Bye Billy.” 

The room fell silent, and you could see Billy’s eyes filled with tears as he looked at you. What the both of you had was genuine, and it was growing to something even more beautiful, but this is not something you can accept from him. Ever. No matter if he tells you he can change because an ideal never changes that easily.

But his saddened frown turned into a sour one, rage filling his features as his gaze turned to Eddie and then back at you.

“You didn’t answer my first question, but I guess it was true then? You remain friends with guys you fuck darling?”

Your heart shattered at his coldness, at him insulting you this way, almost as if he were calling you ‘slut’ in a very indirect way. A tear rolled down your cheek as you looked at him with shock filled eyes. 

And it all happened too quickly. Suddenly Billy was face to face with Eddie, as the dark haired man gripped the front of his shirt while he glared down at your now ex-boyfriend. Ex. Another ex.

“Get the fuck out or I will ruin your only source of income pretty boy.” Eddie growled at Billy and pushed him away roughly, making Billy tumble slightly, almost hitting the counter behind him. 

His eyes searched for yours one last time, and you could see the hurt in them, reflecting your own. You didn’t doubt his caring for you, not even a second. It was genuine, all of it, but you cannot forgive him for what he did, and does for publicity. You looked away from him and you heard him sigh, followed by steps that were going towards the doorway where all your friends moved away from so he could go through.

“I’ll get my manager to pick my things up from your house. He’ll return yours.”

More steps. More. The front door opening. And then, a slam.

And you broke down.

You were hurt, disgusted, in pain, feeling helpless because of this situation that couldn’t be fixed now. Never. No matter if you have feelings for him, if you will miss the days and nights spent with him. Tears ran down your cheeks as you sobbed into your hands, two arms wrapping around you as a lavender scent filled your nostrils.

Robin was cooing at you, rubbing your head, holding you like a baby to her chest. Your hands gripped her shirt as you cried onto it. Yes… Even if you are hurting you would never choose someone that hates your friends for their orientation. 

You wouldn’t choose them over Robin who is holding you tenderly and has held you this way many times before. You will hurt. You will cry. You will need time alone and space to gather and piece yourself back together again.

But they will all help you through it. Even Eddie who is behind Robin with a frown in his face, Steve next to him with the same look but his hand was on Eddie’s shoulder, pressing on it. 

It will be okay.

End of Chapter 13

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[ahgasegotarmy116]

Still With You | A Jeon Jungkook Series | Chapter Nine

Summary: Filling in Grey on everything that happened came with a rude awakening but you calm yourself down like you always do...even if it's to your detriment Pairing : Luna (reader) x Jungkook and Jimin, f2l love triangle Word Count: 5.1k~ Warnings: Explicit language and a heated discussion that talks about death and not grieving their lost love ones (idk how else to put it) a/n: Barely edited per usual 😅 Start from the beginning

Jimin goes home after I insist on making him breakfast, using it as a sort of apology for last night. He assures me he didn't mind while giving me a tentative hug goodbye and leaves before he can see my reaction. 

I smile as I watch him scurry off and catch a glimpse of a rosy blush on his cheeks. That boy is way too easy to read and it's so endearing but I just hope he'll learn soon that not everyone has the purest of intentions at heart. 

I finally take the time to look through my notifications after cleaning up the mess left over from breakfast and out of habit I search for a sign of life from Jungkook but come up empty handed. 

I did ask him for space but I didn't realize how much I was going to miss the simplest things like a good morning text or a funny video left in my DMs.

I push past those feelings and check the notifications I do have and see a few from Grey and a message from Jin letting me know that he got home safe as well as a good morning text to check in on how I'm doing. 

I reply, being completely honest with him and let him know  that I'm feeling pretty down today, but leave out the events that happened after he dropped me off. I'll tell him eventually but I don't want to burden him with it or have him accidentally tell Jungkook. 

We both need time to ourselves and bringing him in after I told him I need space is gonna be way too confusing for the both of us.

My uncle texts me right after I close my messages with Jin asking me if I can come in to cover someone's shift and I groan at the thought of it. It's late at night though and Grey's gonna be there so I reluctantly agree. I need to tell her everything anyways so might as well get paid to do it. 

Jimin texts me later to check on me and asks if I wanted him to come over tonight. I let him know that I'm gonna be working late so I'll be fine but he jumps at the opportunity of accompanying me to work and he doesn't take no for an answer. Laughing at his antics I let him know what time I'm leaving and he says he'll wait for me outside. 

I decide to take the rest of the day to clean up my apartment and get some laundry done. 

Going through my room I grab my dirty clothes basket and take it over to my washer and dryer and as I'm placing the basket down on the floor next to them I hear my phone ringing in my room. I answer it but before I can even say 'Hello' I'm already being cut off.

"What crawled up Jungkook's ass and died?" classic Grey, I think to myself.

"Yeah about that..." I start but trail off.

"Luna, what did you do?" she asks in a serious tone clearly sensing that something big happened between us.

"What time do you start work tonight?" I question hoping she has time to come over beforehand since there's no way she's waiting for me to tell her tonight.

"I'm only working four hours tonight so I start at the same time you do" she says filling me in on the rest of the information my uncle left out.

"Can you come over?"

"Shit it's that bad huh?" she says before continuing with a quick "Yeah I'll be there in 15" but knowing her she'll be here in 30.

I thank her and she hangs up the phone, quickly getting ready to come over since I know the suspense is killing her. 

I dig through the basket and throw my laundry in but notice that the shirt at the bottom is Jungkook's. I start thinking about the past few days we spent together and I can't help but worry about him, wanting to know how he's feeling. 

Before I crack and try to reach out to him I throw the shirt in and close the lid in an effort to close off those thoughts as well. After starting the washer I send Jimin a quick text letting him know that I'll be going to work with Grey so he won't need to come pick me up. He offers to walk with the both of us but I assure him we'll be fine. 

We end the conversation there and he tells me to stay safe and lets me know he'll stop by the store later to give me pepper spray. I decline but he said he already bought it and it's nonrefundable so I laugh and tell him to come around 10.

I'm pulled out of the conversation by the sound of Grey punching in the code and swinging my front door open. "What did you do?" she asks immediately, throwing away the possibility of me distracting her with small talk. 

"Why do you assume I'm the one who did something?" I say as a weak defense. "Because you're always the one who did something" she says giving me a knowing look and I can't help but nod my head in agreement knowing that she's right for the most part. 

"Okay but this time it wasn't like that" I say continuing to defend myself. "This is gonna take a while" she says walking over to the couch and plopping down onto her spot. "So, what happened?" she says getting tired of the momentary silence. "You know how Jungkook and I got together the other night?" she nods her head encouraging me to continue. "Well he kinda sorta told me he's in love with me".

Her jaw drops momentarily before jumping in "He told you? Why didn't he tell me he was gonna tell you? After all of these years of keeping his secret and he doesn't even tell me! That's fucked up man" she says with a look of utter betrayal. 

"Wait, he told you?" I ask, completely shocked that even she had known. "Girl he didn't even have to tell me. He's been in love with you since before I met you guys. But yes, he told me like sophomore year of high school or something like that" she admits. 

"Why didn't you tell me?" I question feeling slightly betrayed. "Do you tell me everything Jungkook has ever told you?" she questions crossing her arms over her chest. "Well...no" I say in defeat. "Exactly, you guys have your secrets and him and I have ours. To be fair most of ours were pretty much about you but I guess since it's not a secret anymore we don't really have any" she says with a shrug of her shoulders.

"Did you really not know?" she continues. "No! I had no clue! I mean, I always knew that we were close but I always told myself that he didn't like me like that" I admit. "Well then you're more clueless than I thought you were" she says while picking up her phone to check the time. I let out a slight groan and cross my arms over my chest, already haven beat myself up about all of this. 

"Girl, that man has been following you around like a lovesick puppy ever since you guys were kids" I grow silent having a few memories flash through my mind of when he really did show that he liked me and as much as I hate to say it there have been a lot of them. 

"So, what happened after that?" she prods further. "Well I sorta freaked out on him and had a panic attack" I say rubbing my neck. "You did?" she cringes gaining secondhand embarrassment and I nod my head, mortified that I have to live through it and talk about it again. I see almost a look of pity in her eyes but it's gone in a flash and is replaced with curiosity, silently waiting for me to continue.

"He got worried and told me that I didn't have to say anything, so we just stargazed for the rest of the night. We went back to his place after we were done and nothing really happened. He said something to me when he thought I was sleeping though. Something like 'I know you're hiding something from me and I wish you would let your guard down'" I relay and he nods her head, thinking about what he could possibly mean but also knowing that she's been feeling the same way. 

"I hate that he can read me like that. I can never hide anything from him but I guess that just shows how well he knows me. Same with you" I finish off, poking her bicep. "Hey, it's not my fault you forced me to be friends with you" she says rubbing her arm. "Oh come on it's not that bad" I tease. 

"Yeah yeah whatever, but what I wanna know is why Jungkook has gone all moody on me. I texted him because I wanted to see what happened with the whole stargazing thing and all he responded with was 'I don't know ask y/n' and I was like 'Shit you used her government name? What the fuck did she do?' and he left me on read". "He said that?" I say feeling somewhat downtrodden. "Yeah..." she says trailing off.

I take a deep breath and decide to tell her the whole story about what happened yesterday...

"So yeah we're not really on speaking terms at the moment" I end after filling her in on everything. 

"Shit, that's heavy" she says under he breath, "I know. I've been over thinking this whole thing but this is Jungkook we're talking about. I don't want to lose him if things go wrong" I say feeling myself getting choked up at the thought. 

"Luna you're not gonna lose him, that boy loves you way too much to let you go" she says while rubbing my back trying to reassure me. "You know everyone keeps telling me that but none of us really knows what Jungkook is gonna do except for Jungkook! It's seems like it was pretty easy for him to shut me out right away so what's stopping him from just disappearing? Grey I'm fucking terrified, and I really don't know what the fuck I'm doing" I say, reaching my breaking point.

"Oh yeah, and then on top of all of that I guess I have a fucking stalker now" I say letting out a laugh dripping in sarcasm. Grey looks at me clearly confused and all I can do is nod towards the envelope on the table. 

She picks it up and gives me a questioning glance before she empties out the contents on the table. The frown on her face keeps on getting deeper and deeper with every picture she sees. 

"Luna, what the fuck?" is all she says waiting for me to explain. "Yesterday when I came back home from the whole fiasco with Jungkook, this was waiting for me on my doorstep. No one was in the hall, and no one was on the street outside" I explain plainly. "Do you think one of your neighbors did it?" she questions picking up some of the pictures that she's in. 

"Maybe? I don't really know though, I haven't had a chance to really process it, let alone think about who it could be" I pause for a second when she gets distracted with a picture of Jungkook and I kissing. 

"I asked Jimin to come over last night" I say nervously, not knowing how she'll respond. "Jimin? You mean that kid that came into the store the other day? Don't tell me you guys-" "No! No, nothing like that" I say cutting her off. 

"When I opened the envelope up for the first time I started to freak out you know, the whole nine yards. I meant to call Jungkook because he's the one who, well you know, the one who usually helps me get through it but when I went and clicked on my most recent texts I guess Jimin was close enough to Jungkook that I accidentally called him" she nod along, understanding the situation and waits for me to continue.

"I told him I called him on accident but I was already too far gone that he could tell something was wrong. He offered to come over, and I said yes. Thinking about it now, it might've not been the best decision" I admit and she cringes, a clear sign that she agrees with me.

"He knows about Jungkook now... more than I would've liked him to" I say picking up a picture of Jungkook and I from when he came over the other night. "What are you gonna do?" she asks trying to figure out where my head's at. "What can I do? My best friend is in love with me, and tells me at the same time a new guy conveniently walks into my life. Now I'm confused because I already started to like Jimin, but Jungkook and I have so much history and that's the problem. I love Jungkook, I've loved him for years but I pushed those romantic feelings to the side because I thought it was hopeless to even try. Everything is just so confusing and I keep on telling myself that and everyone that talks to me knows it's my excuse as well. I feel like the world is caving in on me and I don't know why. I have two guys who have a crush on me, big deal" I say sarcastically, letting out a shaky breath. 

"It's so stupid and I don't know why I'm taking things so seriously" I let out, tired of holding it all in. "I wish everything would just stop so I could catch my fucking breath" I finish ending my rant for the moment. "I think I know why everything is hitting you harder than usual" Grey says trying to bring me back down from the fit I've worked myself into. I look at her expectantly waiting for her to continue but I wasn't prepared for what she said next.

"The anniversary just passed didn't it?" hearing it now makes me feel stupid, seeing as she found the cause for all of this pent up anxiety so quickly. 

"I guess I forgot..." I lie but she won't let me gloss over it. "No for fucks sake Luna you didn't! I know you like to go around and pretend like everything is fine but you can't just forget about what happened to them. Keeping all of these things to yourself isn't going to magically make it all go away. Your parents died Luna, don't you think they at least deserve to be acknowledged?" she finishes the lecture she gives me every year and I never know how to respond. 

"When was the last time you went to their grave?" she asks in a softer tone. I shake my head and wipe away the tears that are threatening to fall "I don't know" I say getting choked up. "I know you would like to think that you've moved past that part of your life and that you've healed but in all the years I've know you, you really haven't given yourself time to do anything about it" she says taking a hold of one of my hands. 

"I love you, you're my best friend and I want to be there for you but there's only so much I can do. At the end of the day you're the only one that can choose to heal".I know she's right, fuck she is so right but I can't bring myself to fall apart like that. If I do...well then I don't know what'll be left of me. 

I've dealt with this pain bubbling under the surface for so long, giving fake smiles and crying behind closed doors, but just enough to be able to force that fake smile again. The only ones who have ever really brought out that true smile have been Jungkook and Grey. Without them, I don't know who I would be, or if I would even be here anymore. 

"I can't do it" I let out just loud enough for her to hear, tears free falling. "Why can't-" "Because I don't know how!" I say raising my voice at her. "There's too much, too fucking much that I just... I don't know how to let it all out. I feel like if I do I'll shatter into a million pieces and I'm afraid that the next time I look in the mirror, I won't recognize myself. I've been like this for so long that I don't think I could put myself back together again once I fall apart" I choke out and stop to catch my breath.

"Don't you want to let all of that go?" she tries but I can't accept that. "That's all I have left!" I yell through a sob. "That's all I have left of them, the pain, the trauma, that's all I fucking have left of them. Call me sick but holding it all in feels like I'm holding onto the broken pieces that they left behind. If I let that go... then there's nothing left" I finish trying to wipe off all the tears that were streaming down my face, only letting go for just a second like I always do. 

"I have no memories from before the accident, everything is gone. All the times we spent together and the love that they gave me, it's all gone. It's been suppressed for so long that sometimes I don't even remember what they looked like" I say looking up at the ceiling and blinking back the rest of the tears before they have a chance to fall again. "I only have one picture of them here and I put it in a drawer because I can't bring myself to look at them without falling apart again".

Grey takes a moment to think and I take that chance and get up to grab us both a bottle of water from the fridge, slowing my breathing and trying to calm myself down. 

"I didn't know..." she trails off, not knowing where she should take this. "No one does, not even Jungkook" I say curtly not wanting to elaborate further but she presses anyway hoping I'll let her in a little more. 

"But didn't he meet you right after it happened? You guys didn't talk about it when you were kids?" she asks but I shake my head. "Jungkook wasn't like that when we were little. He knew I was hurting but he never pressed me to talk about it. I would open up to him sometimes but he knew my limits and he didn't want to push past them. Once we got older he talked to me about therapy a few times but I always brushed it off saying I was fine and that I was just feeling a little sad that day and we would drop the conversation" I explain. 

"He seems pretty pushy with you though, or at least from what I've seen" she says tilting her head, confused at the explanation I've given. "He makes me open up and talk about other things sometimes but when it comes to my parents or my family in general he tends to leave it alone. I'm pretty sure he knows I need professional help to unpack all of that shit" I chuckle dryly. 

"But you still don't want to go? I could go with you if you want" she offers but I shake my head, "Jungkook has said the same thing to me many, many times and I also told him no so can we just drop it, please?" I ask, taking a drink of water to break up the conversation and luckily she complies, taking a drink of her's as well.

We sit there in silence for a bit before I decide to break the built up tension thats been created between us. "Well," I say patting my thighs before standing up and clearing my throat, "why don't we get out of here? There's this new place that Jimin took me to the other night and I wanna show you!" I say quickly changing the subject. 

She shakes her head at me and rolls her eyes "Yeah, but you're paying" she says, standing up and grabbing her bag to go. "Fine, but give me like ten minutes to get ready and then we'll go" I say and rush into my room to get dressed while she lets out a big sigh of annoyance and slouches back down onto the couch. 

Going into the bathroom to brush my teeth I notice how bloodshot my eyes are from all the crying so I quickly open the cabinet behind the mirror and search for my eye drops, hoping they will soothe the burning sensation that had been a natural consequence of showing more emotion than I had planned to. 

I blink a few times after I apply them, letting the drops settle in my eyes and wipe away the excess before brushing my teeth and washing my face hopefully getting rid of the red tint thats still splayed on my face and dry off before getting dressed for the day.

Stepping outside the building was a lot more jarring than I had anticipated, feeling the violent urge to look over my shoulder every few seconds but I do my best to shake off those feeling and focus on getting to the subway station. I try to keep a constant conversation going with Grey about her new kitten Smokey and how he's been driving her nuts to distract me from it all and for now it seems to be working. 

"If I would've known how difficult it would be to take care of a kitten I would've gotten a goldfish instead" she huffs as we get off at our stop but when we start to walk towards the exit I see a figure lurking in the shadows as we pass by and my body goes stiff in response. I'm only brought back once Grey pulls on my arm to keep going, trying to get us out of the busy stairwell. 

I follow her wordlessly until we get to the top of the steps and it's then when she takes in my body language. "You okay? You look like you've just seen a ghost" she says with a crooked smile. "I thought I saw someone watching us so I got a bit spooked but it was probably just my imagination" I say physically shaking off those feelings. "Come on, the cafe is just around the corner" I say now switching rolls, with me now pulling her along instead.

It's pretty easy to spot the place as it's the only one that's doused in a violet hue and I get even more giddy the closer we get. 

"This place has pretty much become once of my favorite places in the city" I say proudly even though I've only been once. "Bora?" Grey says unamused, "As in Purple?" she asks and I nod my head while dragging her in, secretly hoping she'll love the place too. "Very creative" she says still criticizing the name of the establishment but I don't take it to heart. She's never the type to get excited about cute or themed anything so I'm not phased by her reaction. 

Once we make it past the entryway and are greeted with the ever glowing neon lights is when her interest starts to peak. "I'm surprised it's not one of those girly fairy like cafes you've taken me to in the past" she says as she roams around on her own, checking out the interior and I smile knowing that deep down inside she's loving it. 

"I'll go get us some drinks, are you hungry?" I ask and she nods and continues to make her way over to the records displayed in the far corner that I failed to notice before. Seeing as music has been a big interest of hers since before we had met I'm not surprised to already see her flipping through their collection and messing around with the record player.

Making my way over to the counter I place our order and head back to pick out a table close to where she seems to be still tinkering with the poor thing. 

"You know it's probably more for show than anything else" I say teasingly and she sits down with a silent huff confirming my suspicions. "You could always ask them if they ever thought about getting a real one" I suggest but she waves off the idea. 

"Too much of a bother" she says and shrugs her shoulders "They've got a pretty good sound system in here anyways so I'm sure they don't plan on it. The records they have are cool though" she says while letting her eyes wander around the rest of the place. 

"Well then they must have good taste if even you like them" I say before someone joins our conversation making me jump. "I guess that would be me" a charming guy with a purple apron says as he walks over with our order. "You like Deftones?" Grey asks giving him a once over."Is that so hard to believe?" he says with a sideways smile but before Grey has a chance to open her mouth to utter something that I'm sure would come off as harsh I jump in changing the subject. 

"Oh um, we didn't order those" I says glancing down at the pair of lilac macarons "It's on the house" he says giving me a smile while placing it on the table along with the rest of our order. "It's new to the menu so let me know what you think" he says giving us a shallow bow and tucking his tray under his arm before he walks back over to the counter.

"He was cute" I say to which she responds with narrowing her eyes at me, clearly meaning that she thinks the same. 

"What, no insults? You usually say 'Ew he looks like a piece of gum that's been stuck to the bottom of a garbage man's shoe' or 'He looks like how the sewer smells' or the dozens of other insults you've thrown out whenever I've pointed out a guy to you" I continue with a teasing smile grabbing one of the macarons left in between us. 

"This one isn't too bad though" she mumbles under her breath. "I'm sorry what was that? I couldn't hear you" I say continuing to embarrass her even more. "Shut up" she says copying me and throws the whole pastry in her mouth, her eyes widening when she takes in the flavor and lets out a groan. 

"Shit these are good!" she says, clearly sad there isn't another one. "I could go order more if you'd like?" I say making moves to stand up but she grabs my hand and pulls me back down into my seat. "It's fine we've got other stuff here already. By the way, what the fuck did you order me?" she says glancing at the beverage that was placed in front of her.

Yours is called 'The Stars' and it's a lavender lemonade with a splash of butterfly pea tea and popping lychee boba. Mine is called 'Rain' and its a black cherry iced tea" I say taking a sip of my more conservative dark purple drink compared to her bright colorful one, both in stark contrast to our personalities. 

"Why'd you have to get me the girly one?" she grumbles taking a sip of the purple concoction, surprised at how much she's enjoying yet another one of the menu items. "Because I knew that you would like it...even if you didn't want to admit it" I say with a sideways smile before taking a glance down at my phone seeing a message from Jin.

'What's got you feeling so blue?'  he asks, hoping not to sound too pushy.

'Just Jungkook stuff. I still haven't made up my mind but I'm worried about him, he's never blown up on me like that so I feel like something else might be wrong' I send quickly before placing my phone face down and cutting the croissant I got us in half, smiling at the huckleberry filling cross section. 

"They really wont let up on this purple theme huh?" Grey scoffs with a shake of her head taking half of it for herself. "I guess not" I say laughing at her clear disgust with the mystery substance but takes a bite anyways trusting my judgement. 

"Well I guess it wasn't a huge chore coming here seeing as everything here tastes alright" she says, admitting that I have good taste this time around. 

"Wow high praise? Looks like someone woke up on the right side of the bed today" I say never letting up on the teasing. She's always teasing me mercilessly at work so I don't feel bad poking fun at her today. Gotta take the opportunities when I can. 

"I take it back you have shit taste" she says trying to fight back. "Nope what's done is done, can't back peddle now" I say  playing coy and she finally accepts defeat, slouching back into her seat, her preferred state of being in almost all situations.

After finishing up Grey heads towards the exit while I place our dishes in the designated bin. 

"Everything was amazing and those macarons were to die for!" I say fulfilling his request for our impressions. "I'm glad you liked them! Here take a few more for the road" he says bagging up two more. 

"Oh I couldn't possibly take those! You already gave us the other ones for free" I say shaking my head no. "Well I've already boxed them up so they can't go back in the case. It would be a shame to waste them" he says and now I am on the receiving end of his coy antics. 

"Well, thank you" I say as he places the small box in the palm of my hand but I quickly slip a few dollars into the tip jar before leaving with a shy smile. "Come back again soon...both of you" he says clearly telling me he's curious about Grey without telling me. "Don't worry we will" I say and wave him off before running out the door to catch up with Grey. 

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[wukong-s-only-wife5000]

LMK!Macaque: Numbers.

Content/Trigger Warnings: N/A.

Authors Notes: Thought this was too funny not to post. Sure, it's short, but I may or may not edit it.

<---Previous | Masterlist | Next--->

“So…” Wukong eyed Macaque suspiciously. “What has you so… Happy?”

“What, can't I just be in a good mood?” Macaque looked at Wukong with a raised brow. 

“You? Barely,”

“Rude,” he chuckled. “Well, I just am.”

“What, you get a girlfriend or something?”

“It's a… Work in progress,” he said without even thinking.

“Ha!” Wukong laughed, thinking he was joking… But it set in quickly that Macaque was serious. “Wait, you're serious?!”

“Jealous?” he smirked at the Monkey King.

“Who the hell would wanna be with an emo boy like yo-” it clicked quickly, and the look of terror that appeared on Wukong's face was amusing. “DON'T YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT IT, MISTER!” He suddenly snapped, which made MK jump out of his sleep. “I'm not going to let you infect my precious sister with your… Youness,”

“Well, me and my friend (Y/n) get along pretty well,” 

Oh, how Macaque cherished that horrified expression. 

“SINCE WHEN ARE YOU ANYTHING CLOSE TO BEING FRIENDS?!”

“Somebody's sounding jealous~” Macaque teased the Great Sage. 

“Make no mistake, you me wannabe, (Y/n) would never-”

“I don't know, she seemed pretty interested when we saw each other last week,”

Wukong tore a bit at the thought of you talking to Macaque while you hadn't responded to his 558 messages and 54 calls. He'd visit, but if you were ignoring him, then he didn't want to anger you… He'd learned his lesson.

Macaque couldn't believe how easy it was to trigger Wukong. 

“What's wrong, bud?” Macaque teased. “Didn't she tell you about it?”

“Of course she did! She tells me everything!” he snapped, though he was overflowing with betrayal. How could you talk to Macaque but not him? He's your best friend! How much longer can you possibly stay mad at him?!

“Oh, so she told you to give me her number since she was in a rush,” Macaque looked over Wukong’s face.

“Of course she did!” he huffed and folded his arms. “I just don't want to.”

“Sure you wanna do that?” he chuckled and folded his arms. “Isn't she not talking to you right now? Do you really want to risk her getting more mad at you?” that made Wukong twitch at the thought. 

He was silent for a very long time before he grumbled and snatched the phone, stubbornly putting in the number under the name-

“Wukong’s Best Friend,” Macaque mused as he looked at the contact.

“And don't you forget it!” Wukong huffed as he folded his arms. 

“Thanks a lot, bud, that was easier than I thought it was gonna be,” he mused and opened a portal under him.

“W-Wait, what do you mean by that?!” he tried to grab Macaque.

“Later, Wukong. Thanks again for the number, bud,” the emo monkey grinned before he dropped into the shadow portal without a trace. Leaving behind an even more ticked-off Monkey King. 

Damn him. Wukong swore to himself.

[vintersang]

Hello, everyone.

I'm alive!

I wanted to make this little post to announce a small hiatus. My creativity energy has taken bit of a dive, so I have not been extremely active on here... As you can most likely tell. My activity has dropped, but I am planning to quietly focus on drafts whenever my inspiration hits me. I have noticed my struggle to write has spread over to other hobbies, such as my joy to create edits... Which is, quite frankly, one of the more unfair things to happen. With this in mind, I have decided to take a short break in order to try to nurse my creativity back to me.

Anything that I finish in my drafts (including my inbox) will be queued up once I actually complete something. Naturally, I want to thank everyone that is still waiting for me. I hate making people wait on me, so I feel a bit extra bad. I wanted to start this year off more strongly, especially since I really want to be on Elsa, but my energy has been quite low lately. For the time being, I will be focusing on trying to re-spark myself. I miss being active on my dash, but I am struggling.

Looking at my drafts, both threads and incomplete asks, makes me feel really disappointed. I know writing is a hobby, but seeing all of it does stress me out a bit. I wish I was a faster writer, but I'm not. I love the rush of excitement whenever I finish something on this blog since I have come to enjoy learning more about my Elsa. But lately? The drafts, I think, are a bit stressful for me to look at whenever I come back onto this blog. Don't get me wrong, I love the interactions so much. The issue is the fact that my writing pace is so slow, especially when muse is being fickle. I enjoy my time on here when I'm active, but I dislike my writing pace. The worst part of my overall writing pace and my unpredictable muse, I think, must be the realization that I make people wait.

Many of my mutuals, especially the mutuals from my Homura blog, are very patient with me. Logging on here to see that I still have my mutuals is, well, really comforting to see. I know all of my mutual friends will be patient with me when they do come across this post on their dash. I adore that for them, truly.

My biggest enemy when it comes to making people wait even longer is, well, myself. No one else. Intrusive thoughts can be a big pain, that's for sure. Right now, I am here to update everyone on what's going on. I don't know how long the hiatus will last, but I will still work on my drafts. My biggest first concern will be finishing my dust-covered threads, then slowly make my way through my inbox. Any unanswered DMs will be answered, though I do apologize for any delays in advance. To those who have reached out to me on my Discord to merely chat, thank you for having me in your thoughts. My social battery can easily get overwhelmed, so it's easy for me to get lost in my own little world...or forget to respond back, which is a bit awkward.

To all of my new followers, welcome to my blog. I know things are quiet right now, but I am hoping to change that in the near future.

For anyone who is reading this, here is an adorable-looking gift!

My ancient phone died at some point this month, so I had the chance to upgrade my phone from an iPhone 6s to an iPhone 13. It was stressful when it happened, but I am happy to have a better phone because I get to take better pictures of my dearest cat. Tabitha is my precious cat. She is currently purring in my lap as I type this post out. Isn't she adorable? My motivation to write (as well as open up Photoshop to work on late gifts) have been really low lately, but... Tabitha is still happily purring in my lap.

If you made it to the very end, I have a small request:

What is one of your favorite books?

(If you answer, please explain why! Talking about books always makes me excited, no matter what kind of slump I'm in!)

It can be a series or a novel, but I would really like to know. Why? Because I'm planning to slowly focus on reading my own books. You see, I have a system: If I cannot write, then I bounce over to my next hobby to try to do something. My motivation to create edits often helps me get back in the mood when it comes to writing for Homura, but... Elsa is more trickier, apparently. Alas, my issue right now is simply my lack of motivation to write anything.

So, what do I do when I can't create?

I focus on reading because I'm always reading something. With this little knowledge, please send me some books. I prefer fictional books. Fantasy is my main genre of choice. I also love historical fiction. You get bonus points if it's some kind of fantasy and historical fiction. I adore faeries (including mermaids) in my books, but there doesn't have to be faeries in the books.

Overall, I want to hear about your books as well. I'm going to try to focus on reading while I'm away because reading always helps me to write something, even if it doesn't go anywhere. Reading is always a big comfort me since I can always rely on it, hehe.

Thank you for reading this far!

[ladycremecaramel]

Let's Play Tears of The Kingdom! First playthrough. Part 34

Hello hello 🖐Welcome back to my first playthrough of TOTK. We found a hidden passageway in Hyrule Castle where it's still grounded. We went down a spiral staircase and at the bottom was a headstone with a scripture saying the castle was like a seal to keep The Demon King sealed away (along with Rauru's arm and stone)

You can imagine my surprise that we possibly found the way back to the beginning of the game with Zelda. Tbh I'm doubtful but we'll see.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Not Zonanite or Luminous stone. Just...glowing rock (I learn later that it is Luminous stone and that I keep calling it lumious stone). Well it definitely became a cave. I got a Bubbul gem.

...blue rock? I haven't smashed it yet because I saw this after smashing regular rock.

NUH-UH! NO WAY!!! Is it what I think it is?! I must make a video RIGHT NOW!!!!

By the time this post uploads here, it would have been a week since I did the recording and days to edit until Wednesday night. A lot of things were happening irl that was causing me to stress about not getting this post in the scheduled que in time. BUT now that the video is done and on zee youtube, I feel better. I would like to give credit to kiddo for providing some voicework. (After listening to the video after its completion, I forgot to add some sound to a muted sped up spot. whoops)

While I was editing, I did take the time to get all of the koroks around Hyrule Castle and Lookout Landing. Due to lack of storage space on my phone at the time, I couldn't start making the special video yet. I did however go to the skyview towers for Kakariko and Hateno. I didn't activate them yet but here are screenshots of what I saw during my playthorughs.

More paraglider fabric! Also during my hunt for koroks, I found this!

pretty dang sweet if you ask me.

I did try to throw hands with these guys but they don't stick around for very long if they can't get you.

GASP!

A rito! 😍😍😍😍😍 my first meeting with one besides Penn!

So after this, I went under the tower where I found a cave a little earlier and figured out I could ascend to get inside. Billson was like "What?! How did you get in there? Can you see what's stopping the door?" Two sticks were holding the door shut and were removed and I opened the door. I didn't realize the tower wasn't operational until he fixed it. After that, he left and I got kinda sad cuz I didn't see a reaction to Link's lack of underoos.

Soooo I went to find the tower that covered the region Hateno was in and found out it was on top of Lanaryu mountain. Greeaaaaat. Meaning I gotta wear pants and extra protection. Thankfully I had the Medoh mask so I was covered....literally.

It wasn't an easy trek but I did make it to the spring of wisdom and found this guy.

I was not impressed but he did activate our first shrine quest. NOw I'm gonna talk to this goddess statue and get another stamina boost. And I wanna see if the cave behind it is still there.

What? It's gone! What the hell? I would've at least expected the little cave to be there and a well. Lame.

Oh...That can't be good. I'm assuming she's referring to the really big statue in the Forgotten temple right? Looks like I gotta go there sooner than I anticipated.

NO!

I'm so done with caves for a while. But you know what's coming up soon? My journey to Rito Village!

See y'all later bye bye!

[literaticat]

...and I got conned by #schmagent. learned it the hard way. Just that, they are good people and in a need to make a living. But posing as a literary agent and deceiving unsuspecting aspiring authors is unforgivable.

I missed the red flag when my work was directed to an editor and fee was quoted. After 2 months of editing work, I sent the manuscript to this #schmagent who sweet talked about how the publishing industry is going through rough times, blah, blahs and then slowly nudged the conversation towards publishers who they thought will be fit for my book since it is my debut as an author. The insult was casually thrown at me in this manner 'who knows you? they know my name at least' well... all this 8 months after they sat on my manuscript.

I am embarassed that some people have to eke out a living in this manner.

I am saying this because they never mentioned vanity publishers, or that they will not be representing my work to tradition publishers who pay some advance, or at least do not charge for publishing services.

What would you have done if you were in my shoes? Thank you in advance for your reply.

Ranga

I'm sorry that this happened. If I'm understanding it correctly, the "agent" (schmagent?) first directed you toward an editorial service that cost money, then only wanted to send your work to publishers who don't pay (or vanity publishers who charge money?) -- ugh.

Here's the thing: You aren't alone. It's very easy for an author to get conned, unfortunately -- That's why I am constantly banging on about Schmagents and Red Flags and all the rest of it! Because it happens ALL THE TIME. I get ads on my social media, email "opportunities" and even phone calls from schmagents and schmublishers -- and I'm not even a writer! So I am SURE that writers are targeted even more often.

Let's put it this way: An author has a big dream. They have always wanted to be published -- maybe they want that more than ANYTHING. Maybe they have an awesome idea, maybe they have worked on it for years, and have never managed to get to the next level, never gotten an agent's attention -- or never even known how to begin to try! Then they see an ad. "We'll publish your book!" or "Literary Agent seeking books like YOURS!" or "Go from great idea to PUBLISHED BOOK!"

-- Well hot damn! That's the answer to a prayer, right?

So they click the ad, or follow the link -- they "query" the "agent" or submit their ms to the "Publisher" -- and then they are asked for money for a processing fee, or a reading fee. Or they are advised to hire an "editor" to help polish their work -- perhaps an editor who, oh so conveniently, happens to be related to the "agent"! And maybe that author has never read the warnings, they are just new and hopeful and have a dim understanding of what an agent is even SUPPOSED to do, and it doesn't seem like THAT big a deal to pay somebody something -- we're all used to having to subscribe to things and pay for things, and a nominal fee might not seem out of line. Then when the editor comes into the picture, well, they are supposed to make your book better, "you get what you pay for", etc -- so the author goes along with that, too. And MAYBE they have misgivings or a spidey sense that something doesn't seem quite kosher, BUT, they've already invested some money and time, and they have this big dream still, so they want to see it through...

And then hundreds (or thousands) of dollars and months (or years) of time have passed... and they still don't have a book, or they DO have one but actually it is never in a bookstore, and/or they had to pay for it out of pocket. It sucks!

SO, what can you do? Be aware of the red flags, and raise awareness among newbies.

Self-publishing, "hybrid" publishing - even vanity publishing! - may have a time and place where they are the right option for an author. If you only want to have an heirloom book to share with your family, for example, maybe paying out of pocket to have a limited number of them beautifully made is the perfect thing for you to do. If you want to go on a self-publishing journey and you have a plan for how to sell your book and you are aware of the potential pitfalls -- GO FOR IT, lots of people find a lot of success that way!

But if you are trying to be published in the Trade market -- ie, books put out by publishers that are sold in bookstores -- remember the most important rule:

MONEY FLOWS TO THE WRITER.

A real agent will NEVER charge a "reading fee" or "processing fee" or "editorial fee" (OR refer you to a "editorial service" or similar that they get a kickback from) -- Agents are paid commission on works sold, not for services a la carte -- and we ONLY get paid when YOU get paid by a publisher. If an agent tries to charge you a fee - RUN.

A traditional publisher will NEVER ask you to pay for editorial services, printing, distribution, placement in stores, etc -- nor will they make you buy a certain number of copies of a book yourself. Publishers pay authors, not the other way around.

Anyone who tells you different is either badly misinformed, or actively trying to scam you.

[sharpth1ng]

how did you learn to write that well? is there any way i can get better at it?

I mean I think I have a lot of room for improvement still, but any skill I have I attribute to practice. Ive been preoccupied with story-making since I was a fairly young kid, and I can assure you that the first peice of fanfiction I ever wrote was not particularly good. I look back on stuff I wrote even a few years ago and I see so many flaws, so really I think so much of this hinges on putting the hours in.

That's my first peice of advice: write as much as you can. I write almost whenever i have a chance or an idea, any idle moment is an opportunity to take out my phone and add a line. Also, think about writing as much as you can. When I'm walking to work or doing the dishes I'm thinking about plot, next lines, working out ideas. When you have an idea you like, write it down. You don't have to write it well, just get the idea down so you'll remember it later.

My second peice of advice is to read a lot. Not just fanfiction- theres some great fanfic out there but theres also a lot of really common tropes, and I think its easy to get stuck in those if it's all you're reading. If anything whats most important is to read a lot of different kinds of stuff.

I think one of the bigger influences on my writing is Chuck Palahniuk, who focuses on some of the world's most unreliable narrators. His characters have these fascinating and often very troubling understandings of the world and of morality. But also he's really good at writing things indirectly, which is something I really try to bring to my own work. The character may not be able to explain their emotions or motivations explicitly, but I try to write the broader narrative so that you can figure out whats actually going on if you dig in.

To me, thats the most satisfying kind of narrative- don't give the audience everything laid out clearly. Make them work for it a little. It's more satisfying and it feels more like real life.

Beyond narrative fiction, read poetry, and write poetry. I mean this so earnestly. I think that reading and writing poetry can really help you break out of descriptive tropes, so you find new and unique ways of describing things. I think poetry can also get you comfortable using symbolism, which I think can also be really helpful in terms of beefing up your writing. Some of my favourites right now are Richard Siken and Billy Ray Belcourt.

Theres probably more I could come up with to say but really thats the big stuff. Feed your brain and practice! And don't judge yourself too much. If you don't like what you wrote don't delete it. Come back to it later with your editing hat on or recycle it for parts.

I have a couple other posts with writing advice as well so check those out if you'd like more tips:

[zaptap]

finished watching the day 1 treehouse switch 2 stream

mario kart world looks really really good. like the more ive seen the more i want to play it. definitely about on the level of "i would buy the console just to play this game" tbh. but like i said, i largely havent gotten around to playing 8 deluxe so there's plenty for me to do before then. i think when it's in the bundle it's more reasonably priced but it's probably a better idea to hold off on it to see if the lack of sales pressures nintendo into cutting this shit back

donkey kong also looks pretty good. i could probably waste so much time just trying to destroy every piece of the terrain possible. that being said, with the game prices so high, it's probably skippable

for metroid prime 4 they kept showing how easy it is to switch in and out of using the joycon mouse controls... but they only did it with the right joycon. i dont give a shit about the graphical improvements in the switch 2 edition, so the only way i'd possibly get it there is if i can use the mouse controls. which would have to be with the left one. otherwise getting it on switch 2 instead of switch 1 would be a huge waste of money. you might say "well both joycon 2 have the mouse sensor in them so of course they'd let you use either" but this didnt stop them from only using the right joycon's gyro in switch 1 games so i wouldnt be surprised if it was locked to right only

surprised i havent seen anyone talking about drag x drive, it looks pretty cool. the dual joycon motion controls remind me a bit of arms. i dont really care about basketball though so i dont think i'd be interested enough to get it

the game manual thing... literally why is that not free. apparently it's at least pretty cheap (japanese price has been listed and converts to about $6, so it could be $10 here) but it being cheap just makes it even more ridiculous that it's not just included. 3ds had streetpass plaza and face raiders and ar games, and you can't even do a silly little tech demo manual game? whats wrong with you. like. thats literally a game that really only has value as soon as you get a switch 2. if you dont get it youll learn about the switch 2 by playing other games. so it's going to be even less worth the price later on

for the botw/totk switch 2 editions: i feel like the improvements are mostly things id only notice when theyre in a side by side comparison (except korok forest). and the app is pretty cool. but ultimately i have zero interest in getting the botw one since i already beat it and i'm completely done with the game, and getting the totk one would mean i would have to update and lose the item duping glitch. i think i can finish the rest of the game without the app

and for gamechat... this is just discord. you can do this on discord im pretty sure (ive only been in a call with 1 friend though). i guess if you are using gamechat thats an argument to get a bigger screen that supports 4k so you arent squeezing the size of your game down too much to fit your friends' screens along the bottom. i dont want to get a new monitor and i think itd be better to just have those other screens in discord on my computer which is right next to my game monitor

i do think it's a little ridiculous gamecube games are not only locked to switch 2 (which was expected since switch doesnt emulate them very well) but also the expansion pack tier. buying the expensive new console and already paying $20 a year isnt enough for them. and it only comes with 3 games at launch. well i can play them natively on my wii u (which also has a remake of wind waker) or emulate them on dolphin on my phone so theyre not going to get me to pay for it

[fanficfanattic]

Okay, I’m doing it! Posting a ficlet here. Why is the Ted Lasso fandom so great and also so very wild?

It’s found family, Sam and Jamie as best friends and brothers. Just under 1,000 words and neither extra edited or britpicked at all.

Sam had to have planned it, for all that it seemed like he sprung it on Jamie out of nowhere. Because of the extra training with Roy, Jamie was now almost always the first to arrive at the club. That used to be Isaac, saying he should as captain, but after he realized he’d never beat Jamie, he stopped worrying about keeping it up.

He hadn’t wanted anyone to arrive to the club and be alone. But Jamie wasn’t alone, not really, since Coach Kent was always with him.

And Sam, beautiful innocent baby angel Sam, took advantage of this fact. Like a beautiful devilish baby angel!

He didn’t even wait for Jamie to finish changing before breaking the silence.

“Before, one of the reasons you’d lash out at me…it was because you were jealous of my relationship with my father.” He didn’t even bother to make it sound like a question.

Still, Jamie nodded in answer. And then thought about accountability. He had to make the apology, not just agree with Sam’s assessment.

“That weren’t right of me, Sammy. I’m sorry, I knew it then but just…he seems like a really good da.”

Sam’s grin after that put him back to normal angel status for Jamie. And then his next response put him back into devil baby status. Was a real roller-coaster of a morning Number 24 was putting him through.

“Well, that is easy to resolve. We’ll just share him.” Jamie laughs even though Sam said it so earnestly. At the sound, Sam smiles again, but Jamie isn’t falling for that. He is proven right to have had those doubts because Sam gets out his phone to video call someone.

Of course it was Ola, Sam had directly told him that they were going to share his father.

“Hello my son.”

“Hello, Daddy. I want to introduce you to your other son.”

His dad repeats it, half a question in his voice, even as Jamie goes “Sam, what the fuck?”

“Daddy, you remember Jamie.” It wasn’t a question, so Ola didn’t answer it. He just looked at the startled face of Sam’s surprising best friend.

And he has heard Sam say so very much about Jamie Tartt:

—from the beginning of Jamie’s loan when Sam became increasingly upset but tried not to be bitter.

—from when he heard the rumor that Jamie was coming back but Coach Lasso said he wasn’t.

—from how betrayed he felt when Jamie did show up, and how he took that hurt out on Jamie. Even though it didn’t feel like that’s what he was doing at the time.

—to the begrudging respect when Jamie covered the logo and told the team that they should all wear the same kit.

—to Sam witnessing Jamie’s father, pretend punching towards his son in a way that made Jamie tense up, suggesting that he never knew when it was pretend and when it was real. That it ever had been real was unfathomably evil.

—to the pride Sam felt, that he thinks everyone felt, even Coach Lasso before he disappeared- that Jamie used what he’d learned in therapy. To set a boundary, to repeat it without needing to justify it, to be calm when his father was trying to rile him up.

—to the fear he felt, when that man laid hands on Jamie, pulling and shoving, and everyone knew, then, that he wouldn’t hesitate to turn violent against his son.

—except Jamie defended himself. Sam said it was a solid punch but that it wasn’t practiced. Because Jamie riled up other players, and he could shove with the best of them, but he didn’t ever take it farther than that.

—except “Jamie looked lost, daddy. Like he had no idea what to do after protecting himself, because he’d never done that before.”

—except Jamie’s dad got up, laughing cruelly, saying he’d let Jamie have that one for free even as he was preparing to exact a cost.

—and then Beard had removed him. Swooped in to protect Jamie from his father’s wrath.

—and then Roy swooped in to hug Jamie, to hold all his pieces close so that when he broke, it would be easier for Jamie to put himself back together.

“Daddy, you remember Jamie.”

“Of course I do, how could I ever forget my second son?” He kept the same warmth and love in his voice when addressing them.

“You’re both barmy!” Jamie shouted at the phone, at Sam, at his apparent new father. But with his head thrown back as he opened his mouth impossibly wide to laugh. For all that his biological father tried to make him feel small, Jamie refused to be so; filling up any room with his presence. Both Obisanyas loved that for him.

But for now, Sam just chided him, “Is that any way to talk to your father and brother?” After Ola’s chuckle, the three of them had a slightly more normal conversation about their past week. Still, Jamie became hyperaware as teammates trickled in and saw them.

Sam might move the phone in a circle, after checking the state of people’s dress, so they could all chime in a hello. But he never had someone right by him to converse with his dad. Well, their dad now. Sam had meant this sharing business, it turned out.

They ended the call when Roy entered the room, immediately calling the room to task when he spotted this unusual set-up.

“The fuck is going on with Tartt and Sam?”

“That’s our cue, gotta go, it was great talking to you…Da…?” Jamie offered tentatively. His unsure smile widened when Ola agreed it was nice to catch up.

He waited until Ola and Sam finished, but was surprised by the second send off.

“Goodbye my sons, I love you so very much.”

Sam hit end, and the room grew loud with hollering. Jamie was right there with the lads, but he was grinning like a loon when he called out “Goddamnit Samuel!“

“What!”

“It’s less than a week until Father’s Day. How fast is the mail from England to Nigeria?!?”

[lady-bluebird-luv]

Fanfic Writer Ask Game

Thanks for tagging me @popjunkie42!

Describe your writing process from idea to posting/publishing

The first step is a eureka moment that pushes me to writewritewrite until I suddenly have 4k words in a day haha. Then, I usually take a day or two away from a draft before I go back to it and add/eddit with fresh eyes. If it's a longer story, that's also the point when I like to sit down and map out some future plot points.

There's a free app called the Hemingway Editor which I like to use to catch and delete unnecessary adverbs/passive voice while editing. I also like to paste my drafts into AO3 and read them on my phone while editing - something about doing this just makes it easy to catch typos for whatever reason, and I like seeing how a piece will look for (most of) the people who might read it.

If I only have a little time, or if I'm commuting/at work, I draft on paper and then type it up later. Keeping a notebook feels more intentional. It's also not even slower than typing, since I'm using notes in situations where I otherwise wouldn't be writing at all.

I'm also a late-night, write-that-thought-in-the-notes-app person right before I fall asleep, and I keep one doc for my whole fic, not one for each chapter. I know it overwhelms some people to not split a work into docs for separate chapters, but I like having everything in one place!

Are you a plotter or a pantser?

50/50 both

What do you listen to when you are writing?

It depends! I like to make writing playlists for ships or for specific fics, like my feysand playlist or this playlist for my longer feysand project No More Dreaming Like a Girl.

What’s your drink of choice(while writing)?

Usually just water, sometimes tea or coffee.

Promote yourself! What’s your favorite thing you’ve written?

This is so hard! When it comes to some of my older fics, I had a ton of fun learning poker to write Deal Me In (SnK/ereri). In the Low Lamplight (ACOTAR/feysand) is my favorite recent work, though.

Share a fic of yours that you think is underrated/deserves more love.

The darker the fruit, the sweeter definitely diverges from my usual tone and characterization! The more time that passes, the happier I am with how it turned out.

Do you have any advice for new writers?

For one, write something you want to read! Unless you're writing for a gift or exchange, write for yourself, not other people. You will never ever ever be able to please everyone, and getting caught up in whether someone will like your work or not often kills inspiration.

Second, trust your readers to read between the lines. The Emotion Thesaurus (per @choulatte's recommendation) is invaluable for practicing showing vs. telling characters' thoughts and emotions. I think it's worth the investment, but there are also great free resources out there.

Lastly, find writing rituals for yourself - make a point of trying to write regularly, and of setting aside time for it, even on days when you just aren't inspired. Seeking out writing community can be really encouraging in about three billion ways, but accountability is one of them :).

What is a writing style/technique that others do really well that you'd like to get better at?

I'm so prone to overwriting. Stephen King once said that a second draft is the first draft minus 20%, and I'm trying to consistently take that to heart.

Is there a character you were surprised you enjoyed writing as much as you did?

I have an ACOTAR WIP from Eris's POV, and I'm pleasantly surprised by how much fun it's been!

I think a bunch of the writers in my orbit might have done this game already, but if either of you want to, go for it @thesistersarcheron @xxvalkyriesxx :)

[fox-daddy]

૮꒰ “ . . ꒱ა

{ Referencing this post: https://www.tumblr.com/fox-daddy/757860410537984000/this-is-how-i-view-the-tags-at-this-point-x-gn?source=share }

I feel like it's really easy to slip into writing for/catering to fem readers, even if you write for gn readers, without realising sometimes . . . Can imagine it frustrates the hell out of readers. So, if you have time, could you give advice for writers on that bit? Stuff they shouldn't do or stuff they should do more of when writing fics so its inclusive to all? (Stuff to definitely avoid)

Totally understandable if you'd rather not answer this!

It definitely is easy to slip into writing female or male characters if that is what you mainly write. This is definitely a situation where theirs multiple different answers depending on who you ask. As someone who used to write majority female characters and then male their are some things you can do that can help.

The biggest give away and biggest no, no in my opinion; check your pronouns. CTRL+F is a great tool or if your on phone the 3 dots on the side where favorites are and it's called the find tool. I have misgendered nonbinary characters a lot by mistake, heck I've misgendered myself. To avoid accidently writing female or male characters that is the most important thing to edit out of the drafts.

Is a point people might argue on but feminine clothing like dresses and skirts. I know nonbinary/masc people can pull of dresses, my proof;

The problem with dresses with reader x is for it to pull off in my opinion it has to match the character which is extremely hard to do with a by design open character like a reader. The character above is already thought of as a very 'gender is a social construct' character so him wearing a dress make sense. But I'd avoid using feminine clothes since it's hard to do right with nonbinary characters. (small note after the next point)

3. make up goes along with the point above. I don't think it's super girly and a lot of male and nonbinary characters wear make up but a lot also feel insecure about make up and hating it. The fact I know kids around 12 years old that steal fake eyelashes because of how expensive and expected it is for woman fashion- it's a whole issue but I'd treat it the same as dresses can do it with characters but would honestly suggest steering clear if it's a reader character.

With both dresses and make up having a note at the start can also do a lot of help. Since it tells people who aren't comfortable hey this is going to be in here because gender is a construct and nonbinary people look just as good in make up and dresses then men and women.

So I think the most important thing to do to learn is you won't please everyone. Just trying to write for a different gender male, female and nonbinary is great, and a good way to help learn is to read about them. Starting to write nonbinary readers from female readers can be a shift like from writing male characters to female characters. Not everyone gets it right away. But try your hardest and be open to constructive criticism and if you can read some gender neutral stories and take notes on how it's different and how it's similar. Since makeup isn't as forced upon them as with girls and can be discouraged in the case of men.

With that said nobody has the right to abuse you because you got it wrong it's just really annoying to go onto the x reader tag and see a fanfic being she/her or he/him the entire way down from start to finish.

TLDR; make sure you use they/them pronouns, be aware of feminine associated clothes and read gender neutral stories and posts if you can. Even if you mess up or make a mistake nobody deserves to be berated and abused but try and take the constructive criticism on the chin do your best. And if you want to add more feminine associated stuff a simple note at the start can go a long way. Even as simple as; 'Reader wears a dress in this because gender is fake'

With that said this is open for any readers/writers to add their own opinions to. Did I miss anything? or disagree with me? tell me I think having a conversation is more important than 'do it my way and only my way'

[ramblyngrobyn]

Juvenile (Pkmn/Prsk crossover) Prologue notes extended

Okay! So! This is the start of a little big something I've been sitting on for a while. For the last several months (since at least April 2023) I've been occasionally poking at this ever-expanding AU in my phone's notes, adding ideas for story beats and things to do with the characters and world. I always figured I wouldn't actually turn this into a real thing and figured I'd just keep it to my own imagination but the brainworms eventually won, so here I am!

Uh, so I don't know how "good" this is gonna be? Hell even this first chapter I'm already worried that maybe I tried to do too much at once. As I was writing a lot of extra ideas hit me for how I could better build this as a solid foundation of the rest of the story. I wanted every scene to like, matter, yknow? It might just straight up be too long! But any time I considered cutting a scene just to make things more brief I was like "no, no, I need that part". I could have also cut it into multiple chapters but it's the same amount of content so like, what would the point be. If you're wondering, the break points for a 3-chapter version of this would have been Mafuyu showing up at Kanade's place and Kanade seeing the others off at the train station.

Right off the bat, the prologue is a bit different tonally and I wanna talk about that. There's not a super high saturation of Pokemon stuff in this opening! I hope that isn't too weird considering this is a Pokemon AU! I wanted to ease Kanade into it before dropping her in the deep end for the last chunk. When the next chapter hits, we’ll be in full on Poke-mode. This chapter also has a handful of more serious moments, which is par for the course since y'know, Niigo. I actually cut out or edited some bleaker moments because I thought they felt out of place, lol. It's gonna get a lot more consistently lighthearted from here, I promise! (Mostly!)

I have the broad strokes of this story outlined, both in written notes and a map that I scribbled out. I don't have all the details in-between locked in, I'm being flexible there, but I know where I want this to go and generally speaking what I want to do with the whole cast.

I'm not aiming for anything super profound with this, and I have no practical experience in long-form storytelling. Hopefully that doesn't bite me in the butt too hard. Going forward, some chapters might end up being mostly choreographed action, some might be the characters sitting around talking for a few thousand words. At the end of the day, this is just me having fun with my favorite characters in one of my favorite fictional words. I'm trying to not think so hard that I corner myself.

On that note, I think it's worth noting up front that this is very much my version of these characters in my version of Unova. Not in a "my fic don't like don't read" kind of way but like... you might not agree with every choice?

For the most part character origins will have to be built from the ground up, though as you can see from this first chapter I've tried to keep bits and pieces from canon that I think naturally fit. Niigo's origin story is honestly pretty easy to write and intuit around considering they first met remotely. And while I did do a lot of expositing in this opening I think that instead of every character getting an airtight, perfectly laid out backstory, I'll leave some things to the imagination.

As far as the laws of the Pokemon universe goes, it probably goes without saying that I definitely won't be following strict rules from the games. Some Pokemon might end up learning moves that aren't in their learnset, for example (or at least, if they make sense for the Mon in question). Some moves and abilities might have their function tweaked for this context, or I might go for a different interpretation of how the move manifests physically. There’ll be Pokemon that have more than literally four moves. Stuff like that. I'm inserting some headcanons, some ideas that I think fill in gaps in the world building, and there'll be a lot of changes to the design of the world. I joke to myself that this is a "post-globalism Unova", because there's some locations that are really different, a couple totally original locations, and Pokemon here that don't show up in Pokemon BW/2. You could call it "anime logic" if you want, I just think loosening the rules makes things more interesting and fun to write and read. 

One more little nugget: In case you didn't recognize it, the title is from the Jin song made for the Project Voltage collab! It's my favorite song so far from the crossover, it makes me feel so many things. It just felt like a perfect fit for this story vibes-wise, as well as a fun coincidence since I’d been imagining Kanade with an Eevee for months beforehand.

I may run out of steam eventually, but I'm publishing this first chapter because I'm currently feeling fired up about it. Even if the current enthusiasm wanes over time this'll be here for me to poke with an update whenever I want.

I'd love for you to join me on this silly journey, and I hope you can enjoy it!

[saiilorstars]

Ch.27: International Avengers

Steve Rogers x OFC fic

taglist: @ocappreciationtag​​​​​​​​​​​​ @arrthurpendragon​​​​​​​​​​​ @anotherunreadblog​​​​​​​​​​​ @maaaaarveeeeel​​​​​​​​​​​ @stareyedplanet​​​​​​​​​​​ @gloryekaterina​​​ @averyhotchner​​​ @foxesandmagic​​​​​​​​​​​​ @lenonizi​​​​​​​​​​​​

Story Masterlist // Seren’s Masterlist​​

If you’d like to be a part of this OC’s work/edits, let me know!

Seren lowered the newspaper in her hand with a heavy sigh.

"Another refill?" A young waitress stopped by Seren's table. The restaurant was almost closing so they were politely trying to get the lingering customers to leave.

"No, thanks," Seren sighed again and asked for the check instead. Just because she was having a bad night didn't mean the poor restaurant had to suffer with her. The waitress happily dropped the check minutes later.

Seren paid and soon left the place. She carried the newspaper tightly under her left arm. She shouldn't be paying attention to it but here she was, doing exactly that. She and Natasha had dinner together and while Natasha left an hour ago, Seren had stayed back reading the damn newspaper...so many times. In her defense, she had stopped going on the internet now. That was progress.

As soon as she arrived home, her cell phone went off. Seren fished her phone out of her bag and saw her grandmother's name on the screen. "Grandmother—" she said as soon as she answered, "—it will always creep me out when you call me like this."

Atria chuckled over the line. "Well, it's good you can make jokes."

"Eh," Seren let the newspaper drop on her coffee table. "It's sad that this is all I have going for me right now."

"Don't say that, you have plenty of things in your life. I would know." Seren rolled her eyes knowing that Atria had to be tapping her temple at that moment. Atria always said little things here and there that gave the impression she knew things from the far future, specifically about Seren and their family. Seren never really paid much attention, though. It wasn't very appealing learning about your future. It felt more like cheating.

"Is there a reason you called tonight?" Seren politely asked.

"How are you?"

Seren nodded. Of course her grandmother would know what was going on. "I guess you don't need to be a seer for that, huh? Not when the news keeps covering it." The public was in a deep divide between supporting or not supporting the Avengers. It felt like it had been years since the battle in New York with how fresh the newspapers and broadcasting kept talking about the whole thing. "I guess that's the bad thing about being exposed, huh? You didn't have to worry about that."

"No, because I was too busy hiding," Atria reminded her. "The old days made it incredibly difficult to move around."

"I know," Seren walked right into her room, feeling no energy to even watch television. "I'm trying, grandmother, I really am. I guess I've been hiding for so long that now that I don't have to..."

"You have no idea what to do, mhm," Atria sighed. "I'm sorry but look at it this way. You have worked very hard all your life for this Initiative, always paying your dues silently. Well, now you don't have to do that anymore. Now you get the gratitude that you deserve and more importantly, you get to relax. No more stressing about hiding who you really are. You deserve that. Be kind to yourself my little star soul."

"Yeah, I guess," Seren nodded, trying to convince herself. She came to her dresser and gazed at her portraits. "I'll try."

Atria doubted that. "Seren, take things easy, okay? And don't be so nervous."

"Huh?" Seren turned away from her dresser, confused. "Don't be nervous about what?"

"Just a question that you'll be asked," Atria said.

"What are you talking about now, grandmother?" Seren was no stranger to the cryptic messages her grandmother often left for her. Sometimes they were fun to solve but since tonight had been pretty gloomy, she was in no mood for a puzzle.

But, like always, Atria wouldn't tell her the answer. "You'll see. Just be honest."

Seren agreed but only to end the call. She put her phone down on the dresser and stared at her pictures again. Her childhood wasn't very pleasant to remember and, really, the only reason she had portraits of her younger self was because of her parents. As frightening and stressful as her childhood was, Seren loved her parents and knew that in the end all they wanted was for her to be safe. It was reasonable that they wanted her to keep those rare happy moments captured in pictures to be with her wherever she went.

~ 0 ~

When Seren walked into work the following morning, she was immediately called by Fury. Maria didn't give her any reasoning except that it was important. Seren couldn't help the nerves that built up inside her as she headed for Fury's office. The last time she was called into his office had been to tell her that they'd found the one and only Captain America frozen in some wreck. Now that seemed like it had been ages ago.

Fury was patiently waiting for Seren when she knocked on his door. She came in and took her appropriate seat across from him.

"Did we find someone else on ice?" The question tumbled out of Seren's mouth before Fury said anything. "Maybe Sargent Barnes? That would make Steve really happy."

Fury smiled for a brief second. "Wouldn't that be nice? No, no one this time. But it is somewhat related to what we need to discuss."

"I don't understand," Seren scooted forwards on her chair. "What are we talking about now?"

"The Avengers' Initiative was relatively a success," Fury stopped when Seren's gaze fell to his desk. "Agent Soul?"

"I'm just not sure we can exclusively call it that, sir," Seren swallowed hard. "Have you seen some of the people against us? Important people."

"Well, you can't expect everyone to be on our side. The fact remains that without this Initiative, we would've lost and no one can deny that. Not even politicians."

Seren nodded. That's what she thought too but seeing the constant negativity about them made it difficult to stay convinced all the time.

"Being the first to volunteer for the Initiative, I think you are more than qualified for this new mission."

"What — a solo mission?"

"Yes and no. I have proposed an extension of the original Initiative that I created back in the 90s. The intention of it would be to have a specific group of Avengers for each country."

"But isn't S.H.I.E.L.D.'s main priority to look over our own country's security?"

"Yes, but seeing that we have had two major fights against aliens has made the world truly realize that we are not alone. Not to mention Stark's own battles against other enemies. The fact remains that we all need to be ready and some countries have agreed to test out the Initiative on their own lands. Britain, for starters, is very interested in forming their own version."

"Okay, but...where exactly do I come in?"

Fury deliberated with the answer. He stared at Seren for what seemed like hours to her. It just made her fidget like a child. "Your grandmother, Agent Atria Soul, was in command of the first round of recruitment and granted the numbers weren't what we hoped for, but Atria was a fine leader. Seeing you train all these years without a single distraction leaves me with no doubt that you will follow in Atria's footsteps."

Seren blinked automatically. All of Fury's words were colliding in her mind so that everything came at warp speed. "Wh-what...hold on…" Suddenly, her air seemed to be on low. "You...you want me to be in command of a new team?"

"The idea is that you would go to England first and with their own tactical team, you would seek out viable candidates to form an elite version of what we formed here."

"With all due respect, the 'team' you speak about were crammed together," Seren said, trying her best not to laugh out of sheer respect. "Chloe, for example, was not supposed to be part of the Avengers. I thought, and I still think, that she's too young and yes" — she raised a finger at Fury just as he opened his mouth — "I know that I was way younger but I was trained specifically for this. Chloe wasn't. And should I even touch the fact you brought in someone as volatile as the Hulk into this? Banner has all of my respects but the Hulk is, at best, a wild card. The fact he didn't rip you to shreds in his first five minutes is still a miracle to me."

Fury remained calm in the face of Seren's criticism. "Yes, that's all true but we did what we had to do because we weren't fully prepared."

"You mean because I was taken," Seren countered.

"You would not have been able to take down all of the Chitauri on your own, Agent Soul. A good agent doesn't look down on the numbers of their team."

"This has nothing to do with being in a team, sir," Seren frowned. "I like working with other people, and I can work on my own just fine. My point is that you scrambled to put together a team and you got lucky. Put Steve and Tony in the same room for an hour again and tell me if you can recreate the success story again. Put the Hulk in here and see if that'll work again. My point here is that in order to form a good team, you need—"

"Time," Fury nodded, leaving Seren silent for a moment. "Yes. I admit that. But in the end, it worked out which means we had to have done something right. And I think that was you."

"Me?" Seren made a face. "No—"

"The team was falling apart until you took charge. You led them and they worked. Which is why I want to go ahead with this new project, putting you at the head of it. You know the Initiative better than anyone. No one understands the concept, the goal, of the Initiative more than you. You can go to England, recruit the best of the best, and form a new version of the Avengers."

Seren shook her head. "I don't know about this. The idea is noble and cautious, but can we really replicate what didn't exactly work in the first place?"

"With your skills, I believe so," Fury nodded, leaving Seren dumbfounded that he had that much faith in her.

"What would happen if I agreed? What would really happen?"

Fury cleared his throat before he explained, "You would leave for England for an indefinite period of time. They already have a list of candidates that they believe would be a good fit with a new team but you will have complete control of who gets in and who doesn't. You will be able to call the shots and, if you feel like it's necessary, you will have complete access to all records of their people to make your own search for better candidates. Once that is done, you will train them. You will take them on missions until they can function on their own. And then you'll move onto the next." Fury watched Seren process it all - she was trying to but she seemed more overwhelmed than anything else. "If you're concerned about being on your own, don't worry. You'll have full support in England and we'll be sending our own Agents in from time to time. Agent Romanoff is an expert at combat, after all. Agent Winters may have a thing or two to teach concerning mind attacks."

"I'd be moving to a whole other country..." Seren said quietly. Things were slowly donning on her and she wasn't sure whether to be surprised or not that she wasn't immediately against the idea. She was thinking of the possibilities...if it worked out.

Minutes passed by where Seren said nothing. Fury decided to leave it at that. He had said everything he needed to and now it was up to Seren. "Think about it, Agent Soul. It would be a good opportunity for you. You have been with S.H.I.E.L.D. for a very long time—"

"My entire life," Seren corrected with a quiet tone.

"Well, this would be the chance to become the leader of the Initiative overseas. What you have learned, you would get to pass on to a new generation."

Seren nodded. "O-okay, I'll...I'll think about it."

"Of course," Fury motioned that she could leave. "I will be waiting, but not forever. If you won't take the mantle, I'll have to look for someone else."

Seren got up from her chair and made an awkward walk for the door. Her mind was racing with different ideas and thoughts about the proposal.

~ 0 ~

"Fury wants to put you in charge of a whole new team?" Natasha seemed more bemused with the news, something Seren didn't quite understand. Nothing was funny about this whole thing.

The two women were in the training room practicing with one another in combat. It was the perfect place to have a conversation like the one they were having...at least Seren hoped. She sort of just blurted the whole thing to Natasha.

"Why do you look like you're about to throw up?" Natasha bluntly asked. "Isn't that like your...dream...or something?"

Seren's deep sigh showed just how torn she was. "Before any of this, yeah...but now…"

"Now what?" Natasha sounded almost tired which made Seren wince. "Don't tell me that you're still hung up on the stupid people protesting against us?"

"Why shouldn't I?" Seren dropped her fists to her sides. "People are protesting against us, Natasha. What if this just makes it worse?"

"Who cares," Natasha said sharply. She wasn't surprised that Seren was still so hung up on the people against them. She simply wouldn't be Seren if she wasn't. "I don't know how many times we have to say this but it is not your fault."

"Believe me, if it was that easy, I would've done it already." Seren hated that her mind was this cruel with her. She laughed sadly. "You have no idea how badly I wish I could stop overthinking things."

Natasha smirked. "Yeah, and what would you do if you were able to?"

"What?"

Natasha started circling Seren with the same eyes she'd use on a real enemy. "What would you do if you stopped overthinking things?"

"Like...in general? Or-or this case?"

"Well, take your pick," Natasha stopped in front of Seren to wink at her. "If there's something else you're overthinking — maybe about someone — then feel free to admit to that too."

Seren rolled her eyes. "Natasha—"

Natasha suddenly clapped her hands together loud enough to cause a sharp echo. "Seren Soul, what would you do with the proposal?"

Seren tilted her head to think which was exactly what Natasha told her not to do. So, in response, Natasha smacked Seren upside the head.

"OW!" Seren spun around to meet Natasha's smirking face. "What the hell!?"

Natasha laughed. "I said not to think!"

Seren rubbed the back of her head, wincing every now and then. "Remind me to never become your enemy."

Natasha hummed. "You wouldn't be so stupid, nor would I. But c'mon," she motioned Seren to get back into their fighting stances. Natasha folded her hands into fists and raised them to fight. "What would you do?"

Seren slowly prepared herself for another round. "I would…"

"Don't think about it!" Natasha warned then swung her fist.

Seren acted on impulse and threw a leg up to block the fist. At the same time, she yelled, "I'd take it!"

Natasha laughed. "Woah, there it is!" It was even funnier when Seren realized what she said. "That was easier than I thought." Natasha straightened herself up and pushed her hair behind her shoulders.

Seren bit her lip and swallowed the urge to justify what she said. She didn't have to. If she took the position, she knew exactly why she would do it. "If I could train people, regular people who just want to protect their people, then maybe it would help alleviate the response to us. Plus...it would be nice to expand the Initiative, but on my terms."

Natasha raised an eyebrow at Seren, a playful smile tugging at her lips. "Oh, what's that mean?"

"That I would try to change what they did to me," Seren ended the training session on the spot. "I was recruited as a child and worked over until I became this," she made a gesture at herself. "You and I both know what that does to people. I wouldn't overwork them, I would insist on building a normal life outside of all this. I'd instill the importance of the Initiative but...I would try my honest best not to let it consume them like it consumed me."

Natasha dropped all her playfulness at once. She smiled honestly at her friend. "I like that idea."

"...so do I," Seren confessed with a laugh that followed. The ability to do all that she said gave her an excited tingle that she couldn't just push away.

"So you're doing it, then?" Natasha asked one more time just to make sure they were on the same page.

"I...I think I am," Seren nodded. Suddenly, the air she breathed in was a harder task to do.

"Oh no, don't go all pouty again," Natasha crinkled her nose. "We're not doing that again."

"No, no, it's different this time," Seren waved her off. "I have to tell my family...I have to talk to Fury again. Then there's Steve too."

"What about Golden Boy?" Natasha's lips quirked fast.

Seren avoided the taunting stare by heading over for her water left on a bench. "He's my friend, I have to tell him too."

"Right," Natasha turned on her heels in Seren's direction. "But then so is mostly everybody else here."

"Natasha, don't do that. It's just different, alright?"

"Oh yeah," Natasha snorted, almost laughing in Seren's face if the ginger had turned around to see it. "What are you so concerned about? That he might meet a cute girl while you're gone?" Natasha swayed her way over to Seren.

"Get out of here, Natasha. Of course I don't care about that," Seren turned the lid of her water bottle just a bit too harsh. "I was the first person he got to know when he woke up. Naturally, we're close."

"Pretty sure he met Chloe second and they're not close like you are."

"It's just different and I don't feel like explaining myself to you about this," Seren said with a huff and stormed out of the room.

"Aw, don't worry, I'll take care of him!" she heard Natasha yell after her. "I'll make sure nobody gets their hands on him!"

Seren begged God to intervene and make Natasha stop yelling such things in the hallways. The last thing she needed, nor wanted, was for rumors to fly in the building.

~ 0 ~

One of the places Steve came to love were the coffee shops of the modern world. The quaint shops on the street corners always smelled so nice and the atmosphere they had...it was just so relaxing. It was one of the first things Seren showed him and now whenever they had time, they would stop by.

"I'm thinking cinnamon rolls," Seren said as soon as they stepped inside. The dulcet cinnamon scent was simply too sweet to pass up.

"I think you're right," Steve agreed. "I'll order."

"I invited you," Seren reminded him and made way for the line when Steve grabbed her arm.

"Not so fast," he gently made her step back to where she was. "It's my treat."

Seren smiled at him knowing that she wasn't going to win. "Fine," she raised her hands in defeat. "But don't come to me when you're out of money because I ate like 20 cinnamon rolls."

Steve watched her leave to find a table. "I'll take my chances."

She waved him off and found a table by the glass wall. She slipped into the open seat and waited for him to come back. Her fingers fiddled on the table; it was the only nervous tick that she couldn't quite play down.

"I can't believe how many different options there are now for these things," Steve returned a short moment later with two plates for them.

"Yum," Seren eagerly grabbed her plate. "The best option is pecans."

"I'm more of the original kind," Steve took his seat across her. He'd gotten a plain cinnamon roll while she had the pecan version.

Seren laughed. "How surprising."

"Not everything has to be updated in order to be good."

"Another unsurprising thing about you." Seren said quietly. Her gaze slowly lowered to the dessert in front of her. "So I've been talking to Chloe and, um, she's coming back in a few months."

"Really?"

"Mhm, for a few weeks. Then I hear she's off to Japan this time."

"She really does like all the travelling." Steve couldn't quite remember the last time he spoke to Chloe but he was always happy to have her around. She and Natasha shared a pretty amusing relationship. "I just think she's a bit young to be on her own."

Seren looked up with an arched eyebrow. "I wouldn't tell her that."

"I'm not that clueless."

"It'll be nice having her around—she can show you the Breakfast club movie. I don't really like it but Chloe insists that it's an iconic movie and whatnot. Course she did do the whole high school experience. Did you know she was head of the cheerleaders?"

"No, but I'm not surprised," Steve said, sharing a chuckle with her. "She seems like the kind. But I'm sure we can find something we all like afterwards." Something about his words unsettled Seren. Steve watched her fidget in her chair and realized she wasn't looking at him anymore either. It was like she couldn't. "Seren, are you alright?"

Seren couldn't find it in her to actually lie, not even to buy her some more time. "I, uh...Fury talked to me a couple days ago."

"Okay," Steve nodded. So far, he followed.

"It was about the Initiative," Seren was chewing on her bottom lip like it was gum. "He...a few counties want to try and expand the Initiative to cover their own lands."

"Like International Avengers?" The idea was amusing but logical.

"Yeah, and Fury has asked me to take charge of it...in England." Seren watched Steve's eyes widen to the brim. It was a genuine shock and, slowly, he came to actually process what Seren had said.

"In England…"

"They've asked me to move to England," Seren started explaining. "I'd be searching for new recruits to train them until they could function on their own as a team."

"Wow…" Steve had no idea what to say right now. Too many things were swirling in his mind. Seren moving? To a different country? Something hurt...

"Say something?" Seren sounded like she was begging and for that, Steve snapped out of his moment.

"I'm shocked by it," he laughed lightly, and by force so she wouldn't suspect. He wasn't happy, he wasn't happy at all, but if this is what she wanted he wouldn't take it away.

"Why? Because I'm...not the best option?" Seren actually seemed very nervous about his answer. He almost laughed.

"What?" Steve couldn't believe his ears, much less the fear on Seren's face. "Are you kidding me? Who better to be in charge of this new proposal than the one who started it all? I...I can understand why Fury would ask you of all people. You were a good leader back there..."

"It was more like co-leading, don't you think?" Seren swallowed hard. Something in her chest felt too tight, and there was an ache. "You used to lead your own team too..."

"Yeah, but last time I did that, everyone was human. Around these parts, you're the Captain." Steve enjoyed the soft smile that grew on Seren's face.

"So you think I should go?" Her fingers started fiddling on the table again.

No, I want you to stay. Steve swallowed hard. "If it's what you want, then yes." He searched Seren's face for the truth and the truth was quite clear. She was excited about the whole thing.

"I want to make it different for these new teams, Steve," Seren said, leaning forward on the table. Her smile wouldn't stop spreading. "I don't want them to go through what I had to. I want them to understand that what they're doing is important and for a good cause but it's not something that they should be doing 24/7. Most of all, I want this team to feel like a real team, a group of people who know that they'll always have each other's backs."

"I think that there's definitely no one better than you to do that," Steve said. "We really could've used you back in my day, you know."

Seren laughed lightly. "God, can you imagine? I think I'd be crucified for my hair alone."

Steve's eyes gazed over her bright ginger hair and that adorable side-swept part. She would definitely draw some eyes. "Once you made your print, nobody would've batted an eye at the hair."

"Last time I remembered, though, women weren't exactly allowed to command anything. I think I'm okay here," Seren said, shrugging.

Steve nodded. "And I get to be your friend here. Believe it or not, I'm still less awkward than I what I used to be."

Seren chuckled again. "I think you're just fine. So...you're not...you're not mad?"

"Mad? At what?"

"Well, not 'mad' as in 'angry' but just...upset that I didn't tell you beforehand."

"Seren, you don't have any obligation to tell me anything you don't want to. I am your friend, and whatever you want to keep a secret is your right."

"I was just scared that you would be upset. I talked to my parents about it and they weren't all that happy about it. I guess it just made me nervous how you would react." Wrong. Seren was nervous before telling them.

"So, uh, when do you leave?" Steve wanted to know exactly how many days he had left with her.

"Saturday morning. I'm packing everything I need and want to take with me tomorrow."

That was only three days from now. Steve felt his heart aching, actually aching, but looking at Seren and her excitement for her new opportunity, made it impossible to even try to talk her out of it. Even if he had the chance, he wouldn't take it. He wanted her to be happy no matter what.