#since almost nobody talks about this.
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Alright so, I'm not happy to talk about this but it's an important choice for me to make, especially given how much this muse means to me.
I've decided to do some changes on my William Afton muse for my own mental health sake, because of the situation surrounding the creator of the FNaF VHS series.
(Content warning below since for topics of grooming, and me sharing some personal stuff as to why this series' so important to me and why this was as hurtful as it is)
Long story short, squimpus has been revealed to have gr/omed a minor.
Regardless if they chose to seek help, this is inexcusable you can't just ignore it. I have no words to use that you wouldn't have heard already about shit like this happening honestly.
It's disgusting and it's beyond painful to find out about this since this VHS series has brought me comfort like nothing else in the FNAF fandom before.
William's character is terrifying, yet he brought me comfort because he gives me a window to look into the mind a similiar abuser I had in my life during most of my years I've lived on this earth, I felt painfully visible and vulenrable each time I would listen to William rambling about how much he hated his own son, I felt seen but in a "deer in headlights" danger type way, it felt so relatable it was almost like reliving my own experiences; I enjoy exploring what makes someone like this and think like they do, it helps me process what I have gone through in a way and it comforts me.
But it doesn't feel right to keep giving a spotlight to this series even on here, because the creator does not deserve it. ESPECIALLY with how little this situation is being talked about which was shocking because FNaF VHS is one of the most influential pieces of fan-made content; I have a feeling their creation was that good that most people are willing to overlook this. I really hope I'm wrong. /srs
I'm not saying you shouldn't interact with FNaF VHS at all if you're also a fan, I'm not here to dictate what anyone should do, and art does not equal artist. But this is a personal choice I'm making for myself on my RP blog, because to me it doesn't feel right anymore after this. I will make my own interpretation of William and his family.
I love FNaF VHS and likely always will, William and Michael's characters will never stop comforting me, but I feel it is best to step away from it for now and just do my own thing.
#the rabbit has left its home ( ooc )#abuse tw#this is the first and last time i will address this btw because it really makes me uncomfortable and paranoid thinking about it#i just wanted to give a heads up about the changes I will be making for my muse and also spread awareness#since almost nobody talks about this.
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Man, I still remember participating in one of the many jjba zines that I took part in and how my piece was placed as the first page (for the second time) and how one of my mutuals/artists that I’ve always admired, hit me with the “oh… you’re on the front page again… 😅…” like man, that kind of killed me lmfao. I never got over it like man, what was that about.
#it’s not like i put the books together myself or anything all my ass did was submit my work#like this was from a really popular and well known artist as well like#their art has always been so gorgeous to me too I was like ‘I’m literally a nobody is this person really being shady or…’#rambling#I guess it’s nice being in a zine with ppl I don’t know or care to get to know at least now 😭… just submitting my art and running#referring to the jjk zine 😭 I need t start working on it uhh#zines make me feel so anxious man#it really did make me feel bad and almost guilty? I was like this is kind of awkward…#another zine I was in which was run by a mutual… well… I never even got my zine in the mail#and I even sent them $20 for some merch that they were making since I wanted to support and never got that either…#they deleted their blog but I see that they remade and draw a lot of DM and have a lot of popular posts here so it’s kind of awkward seeing#their art shared on the dash sometimes skeks#we’re still mutuals on Twitter but I don’t rly want to ask about my zine again or the $20 bucks#it’s okay like I owe other ppl stuff too I’m a late bird man but still loskekk#they were the mod for the zine too#I might hit them up again I guess I still love their art and they were always fun to talk to#there was another zine that I participated in where we had to purchase our own copy bro#i remember being so annoyed by that but went ahead and bought it anyway#I was invited to this zine so it made me even more annoyed#I#Guess it didn’t make its money back#or something like that but I remember being broke at the time and was pissed that I had to pay for my own book#I didn’t buy any of the merch because why when it was supposed to be free#if you’re participating in a zine the book and merch should be free
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Shoutout to bears in trees for making a sign for all the people who almost died as a little kid because that fucks you up and I’ve never felt known the way that Tai Chi With My Dad knows me
#chaoticbuggybitchboy#how to build an ocean: instructions#htbao:i#bit posting#bears in trees#tai chi with my dad#tw swearing#the bears are allowed to find this post because this song made me feel things I didn’t know I was missing#because I almost died and then I was fine and everyone moved on and nobody talks about how I still panic and cry over it#and I’ve never had anyone else who’s understood how it feels knowing that you should have died a decade and a half ago#because I’ve been on borrowed time since [5] and nobody around me acknowledges it#and then this song comes out of nowhere and wraps me up in a hug and tells me I’m not alone#because other people live on borrowed time and I’m just as alive as they are#and yeah anyways I’m crying over it because it’s not just me yk#and like#because holy fuck#it’s not just me#glowbug thoughts
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If wukong told (lied) to macaque that he never cared about him, do you think that would make macaque even more aggresive or like shut down/be the final straw that finally makes macaque let go of wukong
so, just like my answer for whether macky would willingly erase swk from his life, I think this answer also depends on when in the show swk told macky this, and what better way to explain this than by going through each outcome per season :)
UNO
looking at s1, we meet a Macaroni who is very hellbent on killing (or at the very least, heavily damaging) SWK because he feels like the guy never truly gave a shit about him (<- my interpretation). thus, it is safe to assume that if Wukong were to laugh off Marnolo's hurt and anger and tell the guy that he never cared, Mac&cheese will only feel that his current assumptions of SWK are correct and that the guy only cares about himself and his image.
would he feel hurt about it? oh absolutely. maybe punch a wall, destroy the "dojo" he allegedly lives in in an outburst of power and anger. maybe scream and cry but be mad at his own tears (begin to wipe them away but is too hash so he scars himself and then can't stop bc he's very self-destructive)
DOS
technically, Wukong is MIA so this would never happen. BUT! have you considered!!! Wukong telling MK that Macdonalds was just some guy from his past, nobody super important, basically a nobody he wronged in his long list of enemies. which MK might possibly parrot back to Macadoo in 2x07
heavens above Marconi would be pissed.
forget trying to be a dick to MK and "teaching" him that his path of emulating Wukong has already made him forget his friends (untrue, but this is what i assume was Macky's interpretation of MK's actions since the guy didn't actively search for his missing friends, who MK thought left him on purpose).
nah, Macky is hunting SWK down. he is out for blood because "did i serious mean so little to you? were our nights under that tree sharing secrets, dreams, peaches fucking nothing to you?" (and idk....maybe after the air clears out, possibly, macky would realize SWK's true reason for being MIA and....help out???? mayhaps???....yeah, yeah, i know only in my dreams T^T)
TRES
ok, so we could technically say this sort of happened in ep1 when Sun Wukong said, "i thought it was someone important," and, "so what, you're her puppet now? i mean, makes sense. you always did have a sidekick kind of vibe."
and that is basically Wukong implying that he viewed his relationship with Macaque as one where he didn't consider Macky to be important to him, or someone he saw as a close friend. however, this is also a tactic Wukong uses against nearly every villain he interacts with, simply to get a rise out of them. so, pin that down as Wukong being observant enough to know which words to use to hurt.
AND Macky's reaction to it is him jumping out of his cool-ass looking jet and body-slamming the monkey king to the floor. so, uh, it is safe to assume that Macky was pissed off at Wukong's comment.
THUS! with that in mind, we can say that in this context, Macackle will be upset enough to fight him; however, if we were to consider the end of s3 (like Samadhi Fire ritual to the end) i would go with the option of Mackarell shutting down and feeling like that comment is the nail in the coffin for their relationship.
CUATRO
in s4? absolutely not. he would be dragging Wukong by the ear, demanding that he repeat what he said, ordering Wukong to try and convince himself that their past meant nothing while Macky still lives and breathes. and especially after the s4 special.
you could argue that Macky could shut down in the beginning of s4, but i think he'd probably laugh it off because he knows now that Wukong is lying. he's being his old deflective self and probably doesn't know where to place Macanoli in his head now that they're technically on better terms with LBD done with.
but after all the drama of going through SWK's memories? nuh uh, Wukong can't get out of this, nope. you handed iMac a chocolate peach popsicle. it is too late for you turn back and lie about your feelings. you can dig your grave and lie about it, but he's just gonna hit you right back with your own medicine and make you understand that if y'all truly want to reconcile, you cannot continue lying to yourself that you don't care.
not anymore.
so, anyway, i hope this answers your question, anon! i had a lot of fun running this question around in me braincage :3
#lmk#lmk six eared macaque#lmk sun wukong#shadowpeach#bc i cannot help myself but talk about them in the context of shadowpeach#literally could have said 'i think if swk told macky this now compared to previous episodes' he would know it was bullshit (since he & MK#went through swk's memories and got to SEE swk's side of their relationship) and would've called the idiot out on it bc nuh uh are they#going to go through the same motions as before and fuck up their communication like last time you take that fucking back you bitch'#but (of course) i wanted back up for this answer and this show occupies all the nooks and crannies of my mind :)#for the sake of this mini essay (she says typing out her tags before finishing this post) imma capitalize only the names#for the bit#also mispell macky's name#for the bit....as well#no i am not counting macky out for being self-destructive#he has BEEN self-destructive to himself and his health until the end of s3#nobody can convince me otherwise#this man was on the path of destroying himself to either destroy wukong or free himself from lbd (whom i might add WAS SOMEONE#HE WILLINGLY CONSIDERED IT WA BETTER TO BATHE IN THE FIRES OF SAMADHI TO BE FREE FROM HER CONTRACT! YOU#KNOW....THE VERY SAME FLAMES THAT CAN BURN REALITIES??? THAT FIRE!!!)#*sighs* why must my answers about shadowpeach and almost everything lmk related be long T^T#not mad just confused on that fact that i have been in a writer's traffic jam for weeks but get asked this and SUDDENLY????#all my energy comes back????#rude af brain >:(#asks#anonymous
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Lineup of all of the characters that appear long enough to need a visual representation of them in the game lol
#I added a few people that you can randomly run into around town (like at the inn or in the forest or etc) and have very short conversations#with just to kind of flesh out the world a little more in a more natural-ish seeming way. Like nobody in the main cast would really#have much reason to talk about the actual city you're in or anything. Since most of them havent lived there that long anyway.#But if there's a ''city inspector'' that you can run into whilst he's writing up notes examining the local inn. then maybe there could be a#few dialogue options with him where you can ask about things like that. since he would know more about the area as an offical Government#Worker or etc. Optional of course. since I have to be so wary of my natural inclination to lore dump lol and am trying extra hard to make i#all stuff thats easily avoided/skipped. But for the people like ME who deliberately choose to exhaust every possible optional dialogue#option and explore every single inch of the world and try to collect as much information as possible - then there are a few extra places to#do that. Though obviously not all of them just give exposition for like 15 paragraphs blandly. Some you don't really learn anything from#and it's kind of just.. random flavor to make the non-shop map locations more ''lived in'' feeling. Like the random#little girl you can talk to in the park doesn't bizarrely start reading out the wikipedia description of some War that happened 10 years ag#or whatever. she's just complains about school a little and asks if you've tried the nearby ice cream cart treats and etc lol#ANYWAY..#some of the art is so so evil but I'm not going to spend 800 years trying to clean it up and update it. whatever the hell mess I sketched#out in 2018 or whatever is just what I'm keeping lol... it is what it is#One of the many trials of the whole 'briefly work a few months on something and then abandon it almost entirely only to pick up work#on it literally like 4 - 5 yrs later and now you must contend with trying to decipher whatever weird shit you did years ago' experience lol#Also given the population breakdowns of the world in general I think there's an unrealistic amount of jhevona in this lineup since#they're a much rarer species to just see out and about anywhere but.. it IS a global trading center type area. and the game#takes place in the north (the country of Asen. near the coast. for the maybe 2 or less people who actually keep up with my worldbuilding#enough to know where that is lol (the same continent as Navyete (where the avirre'thel live)) and there's a decent concentration#of nothern jhevona only a short ways away so... tee hee..I shall pretend it makes sense and not merely me just wanting#to represent more of that species because I think their lore is interesting lol#I MEAN also realistically there would NOT be a human here because humans are extremely isolated species that don't even know the rest#of the world exists really and human territories are extremely protected from the outside world but... of course it's like.. well we need#at least One of them to be there for the Optional Lore. Same with the Ythrili. But at least those are like.. PLAUSIBLE.. not nonsensically#outlandish. If I had a Verrucalt or something in there THEN that would be truly lore-breaking almost lol#ANYWAY.. rambling that only means anything to me because nobody else knows what I'm even referencing but hbjh#also I think my character designs are so funny in the sense that I really do just love to do the same thing over and over again ghbjh#wow... random asymmetry and belts and arm straps and high collars where the neck is completely covered?? you dont say..how novel
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I would say I have no explanation for this, but uh. I really do. Behold: the first ideas for a Terror IndyCar AU that has possessed me for the last 36 straight hours. It would not leave me alone until I put some of it to paper.
Behold: Crozier as an established, relatively liked, if cynical, driver, upstart rookie James Fitzjames, and Hickey, who is, as always, totally normal and not causing problems.
The art is rushed, but I needed to purge the demons as fast as I could
#i have never drawn hickey before. its not good but I'm tired.#as always my sketches look better than the final. it's fine. im not annoyed. not at all.#anyway. today? an AU nobody hut me ever asked for and debatably nobody else wants. tomorrow? the same.#thought i was clever for making Hickey's sponsor be a vodka company after Crozier gets sober#could Not come up with a suitable sponsor for JFJ. too tired.#in my head silna is a very competent canadian driver on crozier and jfj's team#goodsir is on the pit crew for silna most of the time. stanley is the lead mechanic#runs their shop like it's the goddamn navy and nobody ever knows if he's happy with things.#blanky is either a manager or the guy to talks to drivers on team radio during races#anyway if i ever do anything like this i plan to have crozier ultimately win a 4th 500#but only after james has a horrible crash that ends his season and many press people think will end his career#just so he can kiss francis at victory circle#look. i have very little to say for myself aside from the fact that i have been going to the indy 500 since i was 7 years old.#almost 20 years ago#and the IMS and indycar is very important to me. one of the few sports i care about and want to follow more.#so. uh. yeah. watch this space bc it will probably keep bothering me bc I Need It.#(also very silly but i tried to make crozier and james's drivers suits have shoulder shapes like epaulettes. i thought that was fun)#again sorry for the quality but i drew all of this in like 4 hours today. i am a woman Possessed.#anyway im gonna crawl back into my cringe hole. see y'all#the terror
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Every time I talk about Oxford University I feel like I'm going insane.
What do you mean they get a free travel bursary every summer?
What do you mean they do two essays a week?
What do you mean MANDATORY BALLS?? WHAT DO YOU MEAN???
#oxford#academia#university#fyi i dont go to oxford!!#i applied#almost got in but on the day of my interview had a terrible awful migraine#luckily for me i met my platonic soulmates at uni#it worked out#but yeah sometimes i talk about like#institutions tm and classism#and bring up everything i learnt applying and.#what the fuck man#england is so weird.#i dont know if cambridge is different btw#and kts been years since ive applied but it seems stuff is the same#yay#btw the whole application process is humiliating and strange#as a northerner who had NOBODY to help me with any of it meeting like. private school boys who had oxford interview tutoring was. wild
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Huh. So that's the end of the Umbrella Academy I guess.
#it's been out for almost a week i think and i've heard NOBODY talking about it since it was such a dud#lol highly popular series (that lbh has been on decline since s1) that is granted the rare netflix Final Season to wrap things up#and it seems like the showrunners entirely phoned it in. wow. i just... i honestly dont have words for how mediocre it was#the umbrella academy#dani talks about tv#('mediocre' is me being extremely generous. honestly is was terrible)#like what the hell was the lila-5-diego love triangle that never really resolves for?#also klaus' 'addiction is so quirky funny' shtick has gotten so old & this season was the worst. literally prostituting himself for drugs#and its played for laughs. this isnt humanizing addicts its minimizing the pain the disease can cause#viktor & diego (LOVED Dad Diego) were the only characters to have meaningful character development and its such a waste for everyone else#like especially after last season allison deserved to have her arc focus on her & claire more but no gotta be the codependency plot AGAIN#sigh. im not mad im just disappointed.
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#today is essentially my first day driving combine this year since my 'first day' was only like an hour and a half long almost two weeks ago#but of course my first day we're harvesting the field that was the last one we did last year 'care free'#one year ago today was the last time i saw my sister#and tomorrow will be one year since we harvested this field and afterwards we went home for dinner#and while refueling equipment after dinner my brother in law went to see if my sister felt up to running grain cart for us that evening#and he found out she wasnt home and nobody had heard from her all day#so that was the evening of the 16th and we didnt find her until the morning of the 18th#it was probably somewhere around noon on the 16th when she killed herself#and it just wrecks me cause i can remember exactly what i was doing that whole day#like someone here sent me an ask about whumpy music so i spent hours that day compiling a playlist to share here#and i was talking with a friend (in a group chat that consisited of me my sister and our friend) about their zucchini harvest#and another discord server i was gushing about it being the new moon in a Blue Moon month plus the persied meteor shower#and the whole time i had no idea my world had already shattered without me knowing#it makes me hate this field and i hate that even with the way we rotate crops every year it still came up ready this week#probably would've been worse if it came up on the 16th again but it's not much better being on the 15th
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I cannot fathom the level of self importance some people must have to behave this way
#it’s more so selfishness lmao#idk I’m getting unnecessarily worked up about this but 6 months ago I kinda vanished off of everywhere and then I noticed she deleted some#messages#girl I would’ve responded later calm down gosh the messages aren’t going anywhere nor are they disappearing#dora daily#I think of all people who should be mad you’re the last one because tell me why you were so viscerally rude to me since the beginning and#played a massive part of the roaa situation by being complacent when oh ! I thought you’d side with your alleged best friend ME#girl you have no right to complain at all not to mention you take FOREVER when you have no excuse to reply back but when I’m struggling I#apparently have zero excuse ☠️ girl bye#not to mention the fact that when I was so frustrated with myself having these bad headaches and being so incapable of doing anything when#exams were so close all you had to say was what can I do#well bitch what could I have done when you were at hospital#I guarantee you I was the only one texting you 24:7 asking how you were#reassuring you that it’s okay to feel upset about being in the fucking hospital and you don’t need to have such toxic positivity all the tim#oh but when the other girl had freaking back pain from her period or something apparently that’s more of a concern#girl bye#not me who has chronic headaches and cannot even study and nothing sticking cause it’s that bad#oh but go ahead compare it to your chronic illnesss like yes it’s horrible and yes it impacts you a lot#but I don’t think it impacts your brain and memorisation capacity#not to mention how fucking jealous she is of everything like I can say oh god I was so stressed and girl she has not felt stress in her life#compared to what I go through yet she is jealous of the fact I can stress ? tf?#and when I say I almost passed out cause of exhaustion she doesn’t give a shit when I was being so serious#in truth I’ve come to realise nobody does seem to care at all lmao they all think I’m lying#why would I lie about that be so fucking fr rn#anyways this is why I simply don’t want to talk about my physical condition with anyone anymore because they’ll think I’m a liar anyways 🤷♀#not to mention the fact if you even knew me a little you’d understand that it’s so impossibly hard for me to feel comfortable enough to#complain to talk about me feeling sick or sad or whatever I only do it here cause no one follows me and no one will rlly see it at all#but even here I feel like my throat closes up and I can barely breathe when I do complain#so pls …#this one sided friendship thing is crazy cause girl how do I shake you off?
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#alright these tags are super embarrassing but i needed to rant publicly so uh. you can read this but please don't perceive me too much#it is so fucking exhausting having nobody to share my life with#i have literally zero friends at this point bc ever since my grandpa died i've pretty much stopped trying to keep in touch with my hometown#friends and i cut off my 'friend' group that were racist assholes who treated me like a doormat back in october and haven't really made any#close friends at college since. and i just fucking hate that this is the same way i've felt for so many fucking years like you'd think it#would be bearable at this point and i'd be used to being alone and for a while i honestly was but it just hit me tonight how fucking lonely#i am and how tomorrow i have to keep on just doing the shit i have to do in life without anyone to talk to and share it with#other than my mom who's been pissing me off lately so i've been pushing her away too!#it's so tiring to have to go out and do things and have responsibilities everyday and not being able to share that with anyone idk it makes#it feel almost like i'm carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders which is SO dramatic i know#like today i wanted to talk about the stupid false alarm gas leak thing with my sort of friends in this club i'm in but i didn't get to talk#to anyone at the meeting bc everyone was just talking amongst themselves in their little groups of best friends and it just reminded me that#i don't have that and i've never fucking had that i've only ever pretended i had that#it's like all these years i've been pretending to be a person that has friends and knows how to live life normally but i never have#more than anything i just miss my friends from home bc they're the closest i've ever felt to having friends that are like family but. i#don't know how to talk to them anymore. i didn't tell any of them when my grandpa died and i think they just assumed that i've moved on so#they've probably moved on and i already know that they have their own lives and friends at their schools that are a lot more full than mine#wanna know the worst part about all of this? i just had therapy and basically told her everything's fine#and i won't meet with her again until 3 weeks from now so literally the only person i can talk to about this right now is my mom#which i am absolutely not gonna do bc she's gonna get so scared and worried for me and i can't have that rn#anyways yeah. this isn't even that big of a deal like i haven't had friends for at least the past 6 months it's not like anything's changed#i just feel extra sad about it right now. i need a distraction stat gonna go watch watch some tv goodnight#shut up hanna
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#doing bad!!!#I'm not sure why i continue to talk about my struggles on here because nobody cares#but yeah. doing badly ❤️#I'm hoping it's just the anemia + literally not being able to rest since....uh....#i can't remember. certainly not in the past month though#anyway i felt so shitty i had to go home at lunch time and have a nap (?)#when i got up from the nap to go back to work i almost blacked out though so. maybe i passed out who knows#tomorrow i have to finish packing + load the car after work#Monday I'm driving 6 hours to Chiba and unloading#next day driving 6 hours back. for work on Wednesday#and yeah I'm doing all the moving and driving all alone because i have no friends or family#personal#i just need to make it to Wednesday and then i can black out as much as i like ❤️#edit: sometimes i actually wish i would pass out at work so maybe people would start believing how sick i feel
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I'm forcing all of you people to see the "Hiroshi's memories" scene from "Shin-Chan The Adults Strike back"because I love this movie with all my heart and it deserves more recognition.
#No joke This might be my favorite movie prior#It has so many good scenes between this one and the race to save the XXI Century#It's also like really funny#Which makes sense since the Shin-Chan franchise is mostly a comedy#I want to make a big post talking about this movie both to get people to see it and to taalk about my love for it#The movie is about how living in the nostalgia and getting stuck in the past can be both beutifull and harmfull#and how no mather how bad life might get everything will past and it's worth living because you get to spend life with people who love you#Shin chan#crayon shin chan#Anime#Animation#Movie#It's a shame that the Shin-Chan franchise only got popular on Japan and Spain because they got some banger movies#and like almost all of them have some level of LGTB Rep#Boo-chan one of Shin-chan's friends is autistic nobody ever brings it up or treats him diferently#This franchise is great and I love it with all my soul if you coudn't tell by the fact that the first drawing I posted#was related to one of the movies#movie#Film#Animated Movie#Anime movie
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trying to figure out my thoughts on the matter:
queer roles in media shouldn't be played only by queer people, BUT i am allowed to be happy whenever I hear about queer roles being played by queer people - and not only queer roles, of course.
queer media shouldn't be written only by queer people, BUT i am allowed to seek out queer media made by people from the queer community.
#i feel like this discourse only talks about who is allowed and who should do x and y#and it's like...pointless to me. especially since i hate shoulds#all stories have importance and meaning to someone#but at the same time on the other side it's like...almost aggressively wanting others to accept everyone.#and it's cool but you know. sometimes i just want to hear queer voices. i just want to hear my community and to see my community thrive.#this will probably matter to nobody but myself but i've started being more vocal on my own blog bc it's my blog#if you disagree just block me ig not in mood for discourse#theo talks
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do you ever love so much you internally combust and just cry uncontrollably
#im sorry im thinking about kip (im actually not sorry and it will happen again)#i just need everyone to understand. how much he actually means to me. how much watching him perform and do his thing makes me feel#how happy it all makes me#its been almost to the date (+2) 8 months since he returned. i just looked at some old posts and im just#this was right after the weekend i met him so maybe i was riding on an ever more emotional high than usually but i had so much love to give#and i still do. like that hasnt changed. hell i might have more love to give now even#just. i cant explain it. just what he does and who he is means everything to me. i dont deep dive study this character and this man for#nothing. i dont talk about things to the extent i do for nothing (it is for fun but its also the one thing that keeps me going in this life#fr. as sad as that might be lol) hell i dont have him permanently inked on my skin for nothing#theres just. so much about this that mean the world to me. its ridiculous i know but it also gives me so much happiness and hope in#this world its the one thing i know i can count on without a doubt#just... yeah. i love him. theres no better way to say it#im emotional nobody look at me for a while#this post is a mess sorry#night is an absolute mess on main
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this is like the most niche thing ive ever imagined with an f/o but i like thinking that papyrus could call my bluffs really easily when no one else can. specifically UMM self care and health bluffs? i dont really lie about it. i just intentionally leave stuff out so people dont worry? like, if someone asks "have you eaten today?" ill be like "oh yea i ate before i came here! ^_^" but then i tactfully leave out the part where the only thing i ate was, like, a piece of candy i found on my floor or something and prior to that i hadnt eaten for a week, and things of that nature. and people never ever realize when im bluffing which is convenient for me but obviously Bad in general, but. i like imagining that paps of all people can just sort of innately Tell when im hiding something or skewing the truth just a little bit
#because hes SMART!!!!!!!!! and GOOD AT READING PEOPLE!!!!!!!#so far the only other person whos learned that i DO bluff (even if she doesnt call them naturally) is my school counselor#thats only because i told her about how i bluff a lot. so now she kinda questions whatever i say about my own health LOL#we were talking about my arfid at one point and i said how mama wants me to go see a professional about it#and i told her id declined because while my situation wasnt ideal it wasnt THAT bad and wasnt dangerous to my health#and she was like ok so how often do you eat#and i had to be like. umm. Sometimes.#and after like 5 minutes of pushing she got me to admit i ate maybe once a week (ITS BETTER NOW THOUGH!!!!)#and she was like. ok so i think maybe your definition of whats 'dangerous' to your health isnt normal at all.#anyway i imagine paps would be like that except i DONT have to tell him. he just kind of knows when im leaving stuff out#this is also so unique to papyrus nobody else can tell not even sans despite his skill of reading faces#blegh. i think the day im like fully open and honest with my life and how i feel is the same day jesus comes back or something#cherry chats#hes also good at prying in a way where i dont feel like shit. idk how to explain it but like umm#when ive been in situations where people have pushed me until im forced to guiltily admit i was leaving stuff out i feel bad#not only because they called my bluff and learned i was (almost) lying to them but also it makes me feel bad about myself#but i think hed never make me outright say it#since he just Knows hes also able to come up with ways to bring it up without atcually saying it out loud#he knows that i know that he knows etc etc etc#AND ALSO HES UNRIVALLED WHEN IT COMES TO MANIPULATING PEOPLE INTO DOING WHAT HE WANTS (IN A NICE WAY)!!!!!!!!!!!#SO IF ANYONE CAN GET ME TO EAT ITS HIM !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#hes so smart. he just tricks people into doing stuff for their own benefit and they hardly ever realize it#hes my BEST FRIEND FOREVAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3333333
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