#sighs. looks at papers. i think i have autism guys

[sme-esh]

Gahh fuck it. HSH fanart art dump sorta

Experimental style ^

There's so much more but I liked these ones the best

(AU and characters belong to @shmorp-mcdurgen and @anotherr-side)

[fluffshisuga]

Exams (Xavier x Reader)

Hello again! Finals are here at my university and let me tell you, it sucks. But this is perfect, because a request came in!

Requested by @ilovexavierthrope : Could you pls write one about Xavier x reader and the reader has ADHD maybe if your okay with that and the reader is studying for finals like crazy bc its their first year at nevermore? (Maybe mention that reader has autism). I tried my best, I feel like I had the ADHD part down, especially since I have it, but I’m currently not professionally on the spectrum so I hope I didn’t do too bad! Also, for anyone taking exams, I believe in you! You got this! This is 4225 words omg also it's 234am i love you guys 💙

Warnings: Mentions that reader is fem, some angst, panic over exams. I never really said that the reader is autistic or had adhd but it's heavily implied mainly by my own adhd habits, i had YouTube playing while i wrote this and i was also listening to music.

      Like any other school, Nevermore had exams for their classes as well. Of course, they were different from normal exams, which meant that the students had to study harder than the average teen. Although most students were already used to the hard studying, newcomers were prone to having a far more difficult time trying to fit studying into their already busy schedules. Especially you, who had only just started your first year at Nevermore. Classes were already pretty difficult for an ever-racing mind, but trying to cram a bunch of information in to a brain that can’t even remember what it had for breakfast? Torture.

      Your routine was based off the clock, classes from 9am to near 5pm, giving you barely enough time to eat during the day, which resulted in you just completely forgetting that you needed food. Once that was over, you would beeline to the library to collect any books you could that had information on the classes you were taking. You had no idea what you were doing, never having a set study habit, and just trying whatever came to mind, you had flashcards and paper filled with copied notes, some colour coded in hopes that it would make it easier to remember. You even had a whole playlist that you listened to while studying, yet, for whatever reason, the words wouldn’t stick. You’d have to read over what you had already read multiple times, only to space out halfway through and come back confused. You’d constantly look up from your books and check the time, frowning when you noticed it had only been 5 minutes since you last checked, although it felt like it had been way longer. You would constantly change the song as well, deeming certain ones to be unhelpful in your studies even if you added them to the playlist specifically for that reason.

      You only really had contact with friends in class, who would ask you if you were free later that day to hang out. Enid especially asked you almost every day, frowning each time you told her you needed to study for the exams coming up. Wednesday even started to show concern, pointing out the dark circles forming under your eyes, and the growl of your stomach at the mention of lunch. “I think you should take a break, really.” Enid said, taking the book out of your hand and closing it. You desperately tried to write down what page you were on, but it had already left your mind. “Enid! Now I must read the whole thing again to find out what page I was on.” You scowled. Enid only shook her head and gathered your things up as the class was dismissed. “You’re coming to lunch with us, whether you like it or not! I can even quiz you while we eat if that would make you feel better?” You could only sigh as you left your seat, trudging after Enid and Wednesday.

      You sat down at a table, looking down at the food you had grabbed with heavy eyes. A slam next to you nearly made you jump out of your skin. “Pop quiz!” Enid exclaimed, holding one of your books in her hand. “Let’s see…ah! Who was the last God to enter Olympus?” You stared blankly at Enid, not comprehending what she had even said yet. You tried to think, racking your brain as you did, but nothing came up. There was only one name that came up when you thought of the question. “Alexius?” Was all you could come up with, and you knew it was the wrong answer as soon as you said it, watching Enid’s smile droop slightly at the answer. “Uh, no not quite. It says here that it was Dionysus. I’m not sure if I’m saying that right but yeah, not Alexius.” Enid stated, placing the book down in front of you and pointing out the answer. You facepalmed as the answer came into your head just seconds before she said the name, becoming mildly discouraged already.

      “Dionysus was the last God, but only because Homer didn’t admit him in.” A voice spoke behind you, and you felt the seat next to you shift as someone sat down beside you. Looking over, you lock eyes with Xavier, whom you shared the class with. He smiled as he continued, “Although that was a good guess, but his name is pronounced Alcaeus, it’s not really spelled the same way. That was the original name of Heracles, also not pronounced the same way as the Disney movie. It means Strength, and many leaders in Greece were named Alcaeus for that reason.” You dropped your head in defeat and embarrassment, feeling inferior to Xavier’s random knowledge on the Greek Gods. “That wasn’t even part of the class though, where did you get that name from?” He asked, placing his hand on his cheek as he looked at you. “I’m going to be honest,” you started, “no idea. I thought that if I read the whole book, I’d be ready for the exam, but I don’t even remember reading about Alcaeus.” A moment of silence fell onto the table, only to be interrupted by a gasp from you. “That’s right! That name was in a game I played! It was all about Greek Mythology. Alcaeus was the brother that we thought was dead. That’s where I got the name from.” The sudden memory made you excited, but your cheeks flushed red as you realized that your outburst was all because of a game, and that your answer to Enid’s question was all based off said game. “Anyway, clearly I need to study more, so I should be going.” You started, taking a large bite of food, and gathering your items once again. “Y/n! At least finish eating?” Enid yelled, watching as you trotted away, a book opened in your hands.

      Later that day, you sat under a tree, a different book in hand and pencil in the other, hurriedly writing anything that you felt was important for your French class. You had a list of words that would be considered feminine in French, placing certain words into the column and others in the other. “So, If I wanted to preserve something…it would be…sanctuariser. Do I even need to know that?” You spoke to yourself, looking back to the little piece of paper with a list of things the teacher said to study. “Absolutely not.” You groaned as you dropped your arms, playing with the grass and taking a few breaths. “Need any help?” A voice spoke, spooking you and causing you to hit your head on the trunk of the tree. Xavier hovered over you, a concerned look on his face as he watched you rub the back of your head. “Xavier, you scared the living daylights out of me!” You breathed, checking your hand to see if you were bleeding. “Sorry,” he chuckled, taking a seat next to you. He looked over your shoulder and read what you had written down, taking your pencil, and correcting minor mistakes like accents over e’s and the like. “I can help you, if you want?” He asked, watching as you looked down at the grass. You didn’t want to ask for help. Asking for help was like admitting defeat, and defeat would make people disappointed in you. Your mind raced at the idea that people would see you as a failure, and you desperately grabbed the grass to keep yourself grounded. “Uh, not now. Thank you, Xavier, though.” You said, taking the pencil back and writing more terms in French. Xavier kept his seat next to you, watching as you tried to study a new way, a way that you were taught when you were small. It was mainly a way to make sure you remembered how to spell words but writing the French words three times seemed like it would help you to remember them. It worked, slightly.

      As the time passed, the sun began to set. The breeze, although it was welcomed, was also distracting, and getting colder. You shivered as you flipped through the pages of yet another book, drifting your eyes over to Xavier every now and then to see if he was still there. He had been looking over your shoulder the whole time, asking if he could help every now and then. Sometimes he would help whether you liked it or not and would write little notes on the side of certain words in hopes that it would help you remember them better. Eventually he stood up and extended his hand out to you. “Come on, lets go inside before it gets too cold.” He offered. You stared at his hand for a moment, gathering up your things and taking it. “I still haven’t found the answer to a lot of the review questions, though, so once I get inside, I need to go to the library and find a book that has the answers.” You started, walking beside Xavier towards the giant doors. “I’m sure you can find the answers tomorrow, the exams aren’t until next week.” Xavier said, opening the door for you. You sighed as the warm air hit you, closing your eyes and giving you a brief wave of fatigue. You opened your eyes, looking up at Xavier, “I know that, but I just need to make sure I know the material.” Xavier could only scoff and shake his head as you checked your phone. “I have to go; I need to get those books!” You shouted, sending a final wave to Xavier as you sped away.

      The next day was a Saturday. There were no classes, giving students extra time to catch up on both sleep and their studies. This also meant that you were up at sunrise, quickly making your way to the library. Your mind raced as you thought of what you needed to study next, while also trying to remember what you had studied the previous day. This early in the morning, there weren’t many people in the library, giving you first pick at what you needed for studying. With your arms full, you tucked yourself into a corner and set up your study space.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      Xavier woke up around 10am, a time he deemed normal for the weekend. He turned in his bed and glanced at the empty bed on the other side of the room, once occupied by Rowan. He would always comment on Xavier’s sleeping habits and tell him about getting enough sleep, claiming that it would help him remember more from his classes. He groaned at the thought of Rowan not being there, and slowly got up. He took a quick shower and made his way down to grab something to eat. He took a seat next to a tired Enid and emotionless Wednesday, Enid picking at her food as she looked around the room. “Xavier, you’re later than normal.” Wednesday pointed out, glancing over at him. Xavier could only shrug and take a bite of his food, watching as Enid’s head whipped around every few moments. He raised an eyebrow, “what are you looking for, Enid?” He questioned, fork midway to his mouth. Enid’s nails shot out and quickly retracted, and she took a final glance around before she set her eyes on Xavier. “Y/n, they aren’t here yet.” She said, tapping her fingers as she took another bite. “She’s normally here by now,” she mumbled, placing a hand over her mouth so she wouldn’t spit any food out. Xavier looked around, scanning the room quickly before shrugging. “Maybe she’s sleeping in? She’s been studying a lot; she’s got to be exhausted.” He explained, taking a final bite of his food. Enid shook her head and frowned. “She never misses our breakfast routine, you know that.” Xavier raised his hands, nodding his head. “I understand. Listen, I’ll keep an eye out for her, how about that? If I see her, I’ll let you know and tell her you’re worried.” Enid’s face relaxed a bit and her shoulders dropped slightly, nodding.

      With that, Xavier went about his Saturday routine. Archery practice, a trip to the library, lunch. The whole time, he kept his eyes open for you. He didn’t see you in the library, which only told him that you were probably still sleeping. Once 3pm came around and you didn’t show up for lunch, he went out in search of you. He looked by the tree he had found you the previous day, a pencil in your spot. Xavier figured that you left it by accident and picked it up, planning to hand it back to you next time he saw you. He ran into Ajax and asked him if he had seen you, “last I saw Y/n, they were in the library, in the normal corner. They were there when I showed up, but that was a bit ago.” Ajax recounted, and he walked back with Xavier to the library to show him where you had been sitting, only to find the corner empty save for a book. Xavier sighed as he picked it up, placing it in his bag along with the growing list of items he needed to return to you. You weren’t at dinner either, and now Enid wasn’t the only one worried about your whereabouts. Xavier even went to your dorm, knocking on the door and talking with your roommate. “Honestly? Haven’t seen them for a bit. They weren’t in bed when I got up this morning. Come to think of it, they weren’t in bed when I went to sleep either.” They said, shrugging. Xavier sighed and ran a hand through his hair, stress building up as the time went by. He had no idea where you would be hiding.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      You were on the ground, laptop in front of you and books scattered around you. Your phone played your studying playlist as you waved your hand along the ground in search of the pen you had just put down. Your laptop had multiple tabs open, YouTube in one, a few word documents, an “official page of Greek Mythology” opened in yet another tab. So many things happening at once, yet you couldn’t focus on any of them. Normally, having multiple stimuli helped you get assignments done, but for something so nerve wracking and important as exams, nothing seemed to do the trick. You felt yourself breakdown slowly as you stared at the blank page, unable for the life of you to come up with the answer to “Who visited Danae, and fathered her son?” Your mind told you that it was simple, the answer on the tip of your tongue, yet nothing. You start to shake your head, muttering curses to yourself for not remembering something so simple as a name. You switched through songs on your phone, hoping that a song would pop up that would spark the answer. You didn’t hear the snapping outside the room, or the rumbling of the statue revealing a staircase. You were too preoccupied, trying desperately to hold your tears back so you wouldn’t smudge the ink on your paper.

      Xavier walked down the stairs, stopping mid step to find you in the center of the room, rocking and holding back sniffles as you shuffled through paper. He called out your name, hoping to catch your attention, but he quickly realized that you had your earbuds in, unable to hear a single word he could utter. He stepped carefully, making his way slowly towards you so you didn’t get spooked. He watched as the tears welled up even more in your eyes as you slowly looked up, realizing that you were no longer alone. Realizing that you were in a vulnerable state, Xavier sat next to you, wrapping an arm around your shaking figure, and rubbing your back, letting you collect your thoughts. You shuddered as you tried to hold back your tears, but Xavier’s calming voice seemed to finally break the dam. “I know you’re stressed. You can tell me about it when you’re ready.”

      Tears spilled from your eyes and ran down your cheeks. You struggled to get anything out that weren’t incoherent sobs, a stutter of words falling from your lips as you struggled to explain. “I just? You know? It’s my first year here,” another sob, “and I don’t want to seem like a failure. I want them to know that I can handle it! I can! But my mind is just racing? Everything is distracting me, but if I don’t have anything to distract me, I get super anxious and cant focus. But I hate it so much.” You breathed heavily as you tried to find a way to explain your thoughts. “I just…I don’t want to be a disappointment. I want to get good marks on these exams, so no one looks down on me, and yet I just can’t understand what I’m looking at. But the idea of asking for help feels so demeaning! It feels like I’m admitting to failure, and if I do that, then I’m a lost cause.” You continued to sob as you turned to bury your face into Xavier’s chest, the harsh reality becoming real as you spoke, causing you to break down even more. Xavier remained quiet as he kept rubbing your back, humming a soft tune to calm you down. He allowed you to get all your emotions out and calm down on your own, only whispering every now and then soft words of comfort until you had cried enough. You slacked in his embrace, taking deep breaths as your tears began to dry.

      Xavier brought your face up so he could meet your eyes. He took note at how red they were, how puffy your skin had become, and how dark the circles under your eyes had become. He sighed as he studied your face, trying to find the right words to say. “You’re not a failure, I can see that. And you’re not a failure for accepting help when you need it. Exams are stressful, trust me, but you don’t have to deal with he stress of them alone, you know. You have me, and Enid, and Wednesday would probably help you if you asked.” He wiped tears away as he continued, “No one will think you’re a failure. They wont see you as a disappointment either. No one is perfect, hell, I failed an exam my first year all because I was too stressed to even understand what it was I was learning. Am I a disappointment?” You shook your head in response, a small smile on your lips. “No, maybe a bit of a dork, but not a disappointment.” You responded. Xavier smiled and rested his forehead against yours. “Exactly. Everyone fails at least once. I think it builds character. But you’re not going to fail. Not if I can help it.” He pressed a kiss to you temple as he grabbed one of your books, “Now, Danae was visited by a God and was then pregnant. Remember that her son is the one that’s supposed to take down the king, her father. Which God seems like the kind of person to knock a girl up knowing that the prophecy states a war to follow?” You bit the inside of your cheek, thinking hard. “A God that would do something like that? It sounds like a Zeus thing?” You questioned, brows furrowed. Xavier smiled and nodded, pointing out an excerpt from the book. So Danae endured, the beautiful, to change the glad daylight for brass-bound walls, and in that chamber secret as the grave She lived a prisoner. Yet to her came Zeus in the golden rain. This was the story of Perseus.

      Xavier stayed by your side as you studied together, helping each other to remember the content. As the night dragged on, your eyes became heavy, and you yawned. “I think it’s time to wrap it up for tonight, don’t you think?” Xavier asked as he closed the book he was reading from. You nodded slowly, stretching your arms, and sighing as your back popped and cracked as you moved the stiff muscles. “Can we do this again tomorrow, then?” You asked, gathering your items up. Xavier smiled and nodded, “Of course, but only after you get some rest and something to eat tomorrow.” You chuckled and made your way up the stairs, walking with Xavier back up to your dorm. The next morning, you woke around 10:30, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. You looked over at your phone, finding a text from Xavier that read, “Once you wake up, let me know, I’ll meet you for breakfast.” You smiled as you sat up in bed, stretching your tired muscles and letting out a yawn. You grabbed something to wear and picked up your bag full of study material, shooting a text to Xavier and making your way to the dining hall.

      He met you there and walked with you to grab your food, sitting down at your normal table and eating silently for a few moments. Enid and Wednesday followed shortly after, Enid hurrying to your side and expressing her worries for your well-being, and scolding Xavier for not telling her that you were ok. You chuckled at her and thanked her for worrying about you, continuing to take bites of your food as the two girls went off to get their own food. “So, I was thinking,” Xavier started, holding his fork in the air, and pointing it towards you. “That’s never good,” you quickly said, stifling a giggle. Xavier frowned, continuing, “I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that. Anyway, exams begin in three days, so why don’t we study together until they’re over? We meet in the secret room, I bring snacks and water, we ace those exams?” You sat there, chewing on your food as you thought about his offer. He was a great help when it came to studying, and your little session last night helped you to understand a bit of what you were doing. “Sounds like a plan.” You said, taking another bite of your breakfast.

      The days following were filled study sessions with Xavier, and once one exam was done you studied for the next exam. Feeling confident, you walked into each class ready to take the exam, meeting Xavier afterwards to tell him about it and how you felt afterwards. You’d then get dinner, study for the next exam, and just hang out between studying to give your minds a break. It felt as if the exams went by with a snap, and before you knew it, they were over. You had two days until the grades would come out, and although you were happy for it to finally be over, a part of you was sad that you wouldn’t be meeting Xavier each night to study anymore. It felt as if a cloud hung over your head as you went to bed that night, only growing heavier as your thoughts raced once again. In the morning, you woke up to a text from Xavier, asking you when you wanted to go get breakfast. You smiled as you got up and ready, the cloud above your head slowly shrinking as you went to meet Xavier for breakfast. Afterwards, you walked together into Jericho, finding a coffee shop to refuel your energy that had left your body from the week. “Do you think you passed?” You asked Xavier as you took a sip of your drink, its contents brought you joy and comfort. Xavier took a sip of his own drink, a smile gracing his lips. “Of course, I had the best study partner in all of Nevermore to help me.” You felt your cheeks warm at his comment, drifting your eyes down to you drink in embarrassment. “Yeah… Maybe I did well too, then.”

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      When grades came out, you nearly cried. You had passed every single exam, and it was all thanks to Xavier. You had looked everywhere to find him, finding him in his dorm working on a sketch in his sketchbook. When he opened the door, you ran in and wrapped your arms tightly around his torso, a giant smile greeting him. “Xavier! We did it! I passed all the exams!” You shouted happily, jumping in excitement. Xavier hugged you back, planting a kiss to your hair as he reveled in your excitement. Your smile was contagious and seeing you happy made him happy. “That’s amazing!” He exclaimed, his smile widening as he looked at you. “We need to celebrate.” And with that, the two of you went out to a small restaurant, enjoying each other’s company as you talked about anything you could think of. After, you went to get something sweet to eat as you made your way back to the school, making your way to Xavier’s dorm. “Let’s watch a movie!” You said, pulling out your phone and connecting it to the little projector you had left in his room one time. You spent the whole night watching movies, cuddled up together. Eventually, you fell asleep in Xavier’s arms, and he gave you a final kiss on your temple before whispering goodnight, falling asleep himself.

Hi me again. Your comments mean so much to me💙 i woke up to my phone constantly buzzing with feedback on Festive Outings, it made me really happy you have no idea. Again, if you have exams soon, you got this!! 💙💙

[frogmanfae]

Newsies as Things I Heard This Week Number 4

It's a long one

Medda: That was vewy scawy

Race: she did not just say vewy scawy in front of a class at 7 am on a Monday-

Blink: *shows duck earrings*

Elmer: *gasp* I love him his name is jaramiah

Blink: No

Elmer: Yes

Blink: All my ducks are nonbinary

Elmer: ...Their name is jaramiah then idfc

Davey: Can the sun just... Go away for a minute?

Race: Forever. It can just blow up and be gone

Davey: ...No then we'd all be dead

Katherine: Omg I love your outfit!

Sarah: Oh thank y-

Katherine: It's giving like... Rosie the Rivitor we can do it but like... Gay

Sarah: ...

Sarah: Thank you...? I actually love that hold on-

Hotshot: Why do you have 2 sandwiches??

Spot: One of them is for Race

Hotshot: Oh

Albert: Awww they're having a lunch date

Spot: *glares*

Albert: ...No response?

Spot: *GLARES*

Albert: Why are you looking at me like that?

Elmer: *shrugs*

Albert: ...Is it because I just swore really loudly and angrily from the other room?

Elmer: Yeah what was that about?

Albert: The spoons fell when I opened the silverware drawer

Elmer: That seems like an appropriate response

Albert: Shut up

Morris Delancey: Do you ever like see an Elephant shit and like... You like it? Like like like I don't know! But like! I liked it! I don't know! It's just like- *very clearly desperately trying to be relatable and floundering*

(I DON'T KNOW THE CONTEXT TO THIS IT WAS SOME GUY WALKING BEHIND ME IN THE HALLWAY)

Denton: *walking past a group of students eating lunch* Hey I just had triscuts today!

Davey, the guy who brought an entire box of triscuts: They're good right?

Denton: They've been around for 50 years! *leaves*

Race: ...Guys what's a triscut? ... What's a triscut???

Davey, about Romeo: He drank a whole can of tomato soup in the middle of band! Like uncooked unheated, not diluted, straight up- like who does that?? What is he- ashuguwah

Jack: She said we don't have total freedom in America because if we did you could just say you're hungry go to your neighbors house take their baby and eat it

Davey: ...Yeah I don't know what's happening right now but we have work to get started

Race: Om nom

Jack: What??

Davey: *pokes boob with bass drum mallet*

Sarah: *mid sentence* :0

Buttons: Look at me! The football fan! I loove NFL footba-

Crutchie: Shut the fuck up

Buttons: :0

Crutchie: You are a lying piece of they/them shit

Davey: *writing something on notebook paper*

Race: I asked you if you had note book paper and you said no!

Davey: No I didn't?

Race: Yes you did!

Davey: You came with me to my locker to get this??

Race, gay: *shows Jack a picture of a guy*

Jack, bisexual: Smash

Katherine, bisexual: Eh, pass

Jack: Of course you say that it's a guy

Katherine: I am attracted to men

Race: Uh huh

Jack: Hey do you ever think about color theory?

Race: Oh yeah all the time

Katherine: Uh wait back track what do you mean uh huh???

Romeo, watching a video of an artist slowly revealing his work: I'd tap. Not him, the drawing. Oh wait its of a woman nevermind

Race: *steals Davey's phone out of his lap* I just took your cock

Davey: *not paying attention, writing notes* oh I'm just making a...

Race: Did you hear me?

Davey, now realizing Race did not, in fact, ask him what he was doing: ...

Davey: *sigh*

Jojo: Look at this *shows Romeo a video*

Romeo: Ooh

Romeo: I'd fuck a... Biblically accurate angel...

Jojo: ...

Jojo: That's a weird kink

Elmer: I like shiny things

Buttons: Of course you do, faggot

Elmer: :0

Elmer: Periodt

Davey: *random noise random noise* I have autism *random noise random noise*

Race, watching asmr: Ooh I think I'm gonna like this... Oh yeah. Yeah I like that. Hot knife and gummy worm, that's a new kink

Davey: Pff-

Race: I wonder if if that says anything about me

Race: I'm gonna send you into epidemiological shock

Davey: Is that a thing?

Race: *looks at notes he's currently writing on epidemiology*

Romeo: Why are you fondling nuts like that

Albert: *drops Race's phone* oh shit-

Race: You!... Hooker!

Sarah: I wanna take my hoodie off but I'll look like a whore

Davey: I cried over harry potter’s dead parents yesterday

Race: the line has been drawn

Davey: Get off your phone!!

Race: Noo!

Davey: You have a concussion!

Race: I don't care!!

Davey: Brain damage is no joke!

Race: Ho life or no life

Sarah: Hey I also have a flannel on!

Davey: Woah

Sarah: You'll just never see it cuz I have a hoodie-

Davey: You're gay too!

Sarah, who has a whole ass girlfriend: Ew! Gross! Don't call me that slur!!

Albert: I don't understand why I can't just drink water it's like- gsgatsv!

Denton: ...Okay I'm gonna start class now

Elmer, talking about things he'll remember after high school: With the black mold trombone!!

Race: Black mold trombone will go down in history

Race: Okay but first, water bottle flip

Race: You know what makes me happy? Pheromones

Jack: Why are you so obsessed with pheromones??

Race: Because I- actually I'm not gonna say that

Specs: Did you know that nothing would happen if you threw a glass of water on the sun? *yelling* THIS IS BECAUSE THE WATER WOULD NOT REACH THE SUN

Crutchie: I miss covid

Denton: I just wanna watch the football and go home

Race: watch the football

Davey: watch the football

TW SH JOKE Jack: I hope all cutters go to hell. Not like arm cutters like line cutters. I'm going to hell anyway because I'm gay

Albert, singing a choir warm up at band: Mango mango mango mango mango mango mango mango banana banana banana whoo

Crutchie: I'm not in choir but I recognize that and I just realized you're autistic

Denton: That was weak. That was weak sauce. But I think it worked *enthusiastic thumbs up*

Elmer: I know my flowers

Spot: He does, he went to flower camp

Elmer: I did, it was fuckin SICK

Denton: Good news, you both exist!

Jojo: It's good to exist!

Crutchie: ...Okay

Spot: I'm gonna eat you and kill you

Davey, out of nowhere: *soft gasp* heliocase...

Race: Can you imagine if cells bullied each other? Like like "pff- you got a goofy lookin nucleas, idiot"

Spot: I'm gonna eat you, chew you up, and show your pieces to the world

Albert: Imagine just getting home from a long day of work and you just get c o n s u m e d

Elmer: It's super pretty cool

Jojo: Super pretty cool?

Elmer: Super pretty cool

Jojo: Oh nice

Race: I can't get embarrassed

Albert: You-

Albert: But-

Race: I've never been embarrassed in my life

Race: Yeah I don't even think I'd know what that feels like

Spot: What about when you got something nicknamed the "toddler disease" as an adult

Race: :0

Race: Look that's-

Spot: Even if you're not embarrassed, you *should* be!

Race: :00

Spot: Loser! With your toddler immune system !!

Race: Thats just dirty

Davey, a science teacher: What did you get out of reading this study? (About an experiment performed on lizards)

Class: *silence*

Davey: Did you.... Did you like it or-

Splasher, a student: Lizard...

Davey: What was that?

Splasher: For my senior pictures I'm gonna have a bearded dragon

Davey: Uh... Okay did you like the study or-?

Medda: I would never get rid of any of my beloved cello players!

Medda: ...

Medda: *holds up L on forehead*

Race: Pff-

Medda: No! I'm kidding! I'm kidding! I wouldn't get rid of Romeo!

Romeo: :0

Sarah: *zoning out in class, internally* omg his pockets are really deep

Denton: We've all heard that phrase before, we know what that means-

Myron: *has never heard the phrase ever* We? All??

Spot: *threateningly* you'll be the next lizard I test

Davey: *about science* it's like lasagna. It makes you want to choke but you love it because it's your favorite food

Denton: You should read the titles of some of these studies. I mean some of the TITLES are like a paragraph long I can only imagine what the articles are-

Denton: I suppose that's an analogy you could make

Romeo: It's just like Fall Out Boy for real

Jojo: Does that mean if I step on a baby I'm 72℅ Jesus? (I have no idea what this was about)

Davey: *sneezes*

Sarah: How dare you!

Katherine: *at the same time* bless you

Davey: Thank you, KATHERINE

Albert: I run at 5:40 every morning

Finch: Why would you-

Albert: I don't like it :(

Jack: Man come 8pm and I am WORTHLESS

Medda: I know student schedules are very busy so I won't give you any homework so you guys can focus on... Whatever you do... Homework, practices, jobs, injecting lizards with bacteria...

Katherine: I'm an advocate for highlighters I will always support highlighters

Jack: 🤨

Katherine: I support highlighters rights

Race, a scientist in the middle of a big project, exhausted out of his mind: *on the phone* honey, I- I can't watch the kids tonight. I got all these lizards to invest with bacteria and they're all dying and it's my- I did this to them

Spot, also exhausted out of his mind: And you did the kids to me you better get your ass home!

Davey: *loudly cracks his back*

Crutchie: ... BRO-

Davey, as if this happens a lot but this time in particular was bigger: That was intense

Denton, freshman academic biology teacher: It's that time of year where all the freshmen are like "I hate academic biology academic biology is so hard!" and all the sophomores taking advanced chemistry are like "I miss academic biology academic biology was so easy..." *big sigh* it's the same every year. Falls right in line with the pumpkin spice

Buttons: You can't make jokes like that, Mr. Denton

Denton: Yes you absolutely can and you should it was a good one

Davey, teaching a class: I have an occasional glass of red wine but other than that I'm not too wild

Les, a student in said class: Oh please

Davey: ...What?

Les: You heard me

Race: If you were a woman, you were a prostitute. It's what you did

Katherine: What history class are you in??

Crutchie: The sun is blindi- oh my god! What iss that??

Finch: It's new with the reset

Crutchie: What is that bright... /thing/??

Finch: It came with the latest update

Denton: Your lungs look like a carpet! A very outdated carpet, nobody makes carpet like that anymore. When I was a kid everyone's grandma had that carpet

Davey: Anyone else think that's super cool?

Everyone else: *silence*

Davey: Just lie to me

Race: Whoo!

Jack: Incredible!

Albert: So dope!

Davey: Yeah! There we go! Awesome!

Blink: Anyone? Just a piece? A little piece of inflammation?

Elmer, about Pulitzer; I don't think he sleeps.

Crutchie: Pff-

Elmer: No seriously. He responds to emails at midnight and he's at the school by 4 am. And he lives like 2 towns away.

Crutchie: Holy shit

Elmer: I know

Spot: Yeah! I got a jar and you don't!

Albert: Disgustingly gross child of Satan.

Race: Noo don't say that about yourself!

Albert: That's my dad. Satan.

Race: Oh. I mean yeah.

Race, a physics teacher: Alright! Sorry for the interruption, we were saying-....

Race: ...

Race: Position time graph! We-

Race: ...

Race: What were we talking about? Slope!

Davey: *drops paper* that's unfortunate

Sarah: What's up with that? It's like 2 pieces of paper. You can't handle 2 pieces of-

Davey: Shut the fuck up

Crutchie: Cholera! Hello!

TW SUICIDE JOKE Crutchie: You're the cell

Jack: What?

Crutchie: The cell is like "kill me please" you're the cell

Jack: :0

Davey: And then you walk into your- SNEEZE CLOUD!!!

Davey: I'm so gay, I love Crash Course with Hank Green

[renee-writer]

Awake Chapter 172 Joy and Confusion

AO3

“I don’t think mom has been at Charlie’s house since I was five. This ought to be interesting.” Bella says to Jake as they get ready for bed.

 

“Yes it will. Your parents have one of the best past breakup relationships I have ever seen.”

 

“Yes, they do.  Do we have anyone guarding Charlie’s house tonight?”

 

“I don’t know?” he frowns, reaching for his phone, “I will call the Cullen’s and ask them to send someone out.”

 

She sighs in relief. “Thanks.”

 

A moment later. “Emment’s heading there. “

 

“That’s perfect.”

 

A large group enters Bella and Jake’s church that next morning. Besides Renee and Phil, they also have as guests, Alice and Jasper also join them.

 

They drop the children off in the nursery and take their guests to Sunday School. There, Edward introduces  Alice and Jasper to the class while Bella does the same with her mom and Phil.

 

“We are very happy to have you guys.” James greets then.

 

When they do prayer requests, since her mom knows and Carlisle is fairly certain of the diagnosis, Bella mentions Solomon ‘s autism.

 

The class responds with hugs, words of encouragement, and everyone’s prayers.

 

They are studying Job and God’s will through suffering.

 

“Quite appropriate.” Jasper thinks. He is fascinated by the whole experience. He vaguely recalls church from his human years but doesn’t  remember Job. All the emotions have him making a mental note  to study the book when he gets back home.

 

They fill a pew in the sanctuary and are greeted warmly by everyone. When they sing, Alice’s high sweet sopranos voice catches the attention of those around them. “The choir director would love for you to join the church.” Edward whispers to his sister.

 

“You first.” She whispers back. He has been attending for months now and has thought about joining. He just isn’t sure. It isn’t like joining a club where you pay for a membership through dues and sign some papers. It isn’t that he has a problem admitting he is a sinner but he still isn’t sure he would be accepted. Does he even have a soul?

 

The preacher is preaching on David’s mistake with Bathsheba and Uriah ‘s murder.

 

“David, who is called a man after God’s own hearts, wasn’t  perfect. He who wrote most of the Psalms, was a sinner like all of us. He wasn’t the only one. Lots of the great men of the Bible screwed up. Noah, he of the Ark, was a drunk who passed out and exposed himself to his children.

 

Moses was a murder. Samuel, the great prophet, couldn’t control his children. Paul, called Saul then, prosecuted the church. Peter denied Christ. 

 

Guess what! The good news God still uses them. Everyone of them. Even after all they did. There isn’t one of you sitting out there that He can’t use. It doesn’t matter what you have done, who you were in the past or who you are now.  God can use you. You aren’t out of His reach. Not one of you. Let’s pray.”

 

Every head dropped.

 

Edward is frazzled and can’t pray articulately. He just says over and over in his head, “Okay God, if you want me I am here.”

 

He hears it as clear as if Alice is speaking to him. “Come here, My son.”

 

He stands on shaky legs and heads down the aisle. Bella still has her head down but Jacob’s gasp causes her to raise it. Then she does, she lets out a sharp breath too.

 

Everyone else in their row looks up.  Jasper stares at his brother in shock. Renee and Phil are smiling. Bella sits, her mouth open and sees the smell look of shock  and awe on her husband ‘s face. It takes her a minute to understand she is crying.

 

Edward is aware of none of this. He walks steadily towards the minister. He stands with a smile in front. When he reaches him, he takes his hand.

 

“I want forgiveness, to be made new.”

 

“God can do that, son.” He reassures him. They both bow their heads. The organists continues to play softly but no one is singing. Bella couldn’t if she wanted to. She is crying to hard. Jake holds her close to his side. His eyes are wet too. Renee also wipes tears from her eyes.

 

After the prayer, the minister sits Edward in the front pew before making announcements. He then has Edward stand beside him.

 

“Most of you know Edward Cullen. He has been attending with the Blacks for awhile. Today, I am happy to  report he came forward to give his life to Jesus, seeking baptism and church membership. All who affirm his choice and promise to pray for him, say amen.”

 

A load chorus of amen echoes back. Bella only has the voice to whisper.

 

“Stay here,” he then tells Edward, “so you can be properly greeted and welcomed.”

 

Edward nods and smiles. He prays with the minister in fervent thankfulness.

 

Bella stumbles forward, guided by Jake. Her eyes are full of joyful tears to see. He guides her to Edward where she hugs him tightly. He returns it. Neither has to say a word.

 

He is then hugged by Jacob with a horse, “Welcome to the family.”  Then Renee and Phil. Finally a very confused Alice and Jaz.

 

Jacob sits  Bella on the front pew taking Renee with him  to get the children. Alice and Jasper joins  her while Phil stands to the side.

 

Bella watches through a film of years as the congregation files past him offering welcome and congratulations to Edward. Jasper is  confused and intrigued by the feelings of joy and peace that surround him. Edward , Bella and all those that greet him. He vows to find out it’s cause.

[mammoneymelon]

How the brothers would react to finding out that MC is autistic

before anyone says anything, i’m autistic and just really want some representation

TW for ableism! the boys are doing their best but no NT immediately knows everything about autism

it’s a bit random, but i headcanon that lucifer has misophonia, so it’s only a matter of time before a noisy/verbal stim starts to drive him up a wall

“what in the devildom are you doing?” he’d ask, eyebrows scrunched in frustration

you have no idea what he’s talking about; after all, you’ve just been sitting on your DDD playing some rhythm game

“what do you mean?”

“you’ve been making that noise for hours; cut it out before i have to go find the packing tape.”

you know him well enough to know he isn’t joking, so you nod and do your best to stop, ignoring the feeling of dread beginning to well up in your chest

you go back to your game, and soon enough, you’re back to ‘making that noise’

you see lucifer stand up, bringing your action to your attention.

“oh, sorry! i didn’t realize i was doing it again, sorry!”

“oh?” he asked, looking down at you. 

“it’s stimming. autistic people do it a lot more than others, and sometimes we don’t even notice it.” there’s a moment of silence but you realize you just told him something you hadn’t even told your human friends

“ah, yes, i do remember reading about that in your file. i didn’t want to say anything so as not to offend you.”

you shake your head. “dude! that’s personal business! i don’t like telling people.”

lucifer’s gaze seems to soften. “don’t fret, MC. i won’t tell a soul.”

and he doesn’t.

he also totally buys you quiet stim toys

it’s not long before mammon realizes you are terrible at reading the room

you have a terrible habit of cracking a joke at the worst time or saying the first thing that comes to your mind, even if it was at the expense of others

at first, mammon, mammon thought you were really brave. now, however, he sees that you just have no idea what you’re doing

currently, your knack for trouble had landed you in detention, something you’d gotten fairly used to in the human world. mammon was sitting next to you - he was paying for trying to defend you

“lucifer’s going to kill us. again.”

“and whose fault is that?”

“sorry,” you mumble. “it’s not like i was trying to get us here.”

“really? because it’s startin’ to seem like you are. not that i blame ya, if i were you i’d do anything to spend more time with the great mammon.” he gives you a smile, and you really hope that means he isn’t mad

“i really don’t like upsetting people, i just don’t really get tone? i didn’t even realize the teacher was mad until you stepped in. “

“dude, she was on the verge of killing ya! what do ya mean you “didn’t even realize”?

you pinch the bridge of your nose in frustration. “it’s part of a disorder i have. autism. i just don’t get some stuff that comes naturally to other people.”

“ohhh.” mammon slaps his head, feeling like an idiot. “sorry,” he murmurs, and you barely hear it

mammon, being, well, mammon, will probably forget.

it’s not that he doesn’t care! it’s just not something that comes up in conversation.

of course, when the two of you do talk about it, he picks up on the symptoms pretty quickly. he’s a pretty smart guy, and he’ll do anything and everything for his human

the two of you are working on a co-op dungeon while you talk about your current special interest

“wow, MC, you know a lot about this!”

“thanks,” you respond, and it hits you - you’ve been infodumping almost this whole time

“haha, yeah, blame it on the autism brain,” you joke absentmindedly, not really caring if he knew. you two were good friends, why would being neurodivergent make a difference?

levi, on the other hand, does a double take. being the gamer he is, he’d definitely heard the word used as an insult, but he’d never thought about anyone actually having autism - much less his best friend

“MC, you have autism?” he turns to you looking genuinely confused, his controller sitting, forgotten, in his lap

“um, yeah? it’s not really a big deal,” you say, shrugging

“yeah it is! i mean i knew you were pretty weird, since you hang out with me-” he stops mid-sentence, realizing his mistake. “NOT IN A BAD WAY, OF COURSE! ah sorry, i said something stupid, like always.”

you shake your head with a small smile. you can tell he’s trying. “trust me, i’ve heard much worse. you’re fine, levi.”

he glances up at you, face red from embarrassment, and your smile widens. “i mean, i don’t think like ‘normal’ people anyway, so yeah, i kinda am weird.”

once you leave his room, he’s at his pc, researching more vigorously that he’s ever done for a class

the more he learns, the more annoyed he gets at the complete misunderstanding of the disorder

ultimately, he just wants to make sure you feel supported and understood

you’re sitting in the library, doing your homework while satan looks over your essay, checking for errors

“oi, MC”

“what’s up?” you respond, still focused on your work

“are you scared of me?”

this prompts you to look up, focusing your eyes on his hands

“i was when i first came here, and i definitely would be scared if i really pissed you off, but no, i’m not scared of you. why do you ask?”

“you never look me in the eyes. or my brothers, actually.”

oh. you’d been hoping no one had noticed. “oh, i just don’t like eye contact. it makes me uncomfortable.” you return your eyes to your paper, hoping that was enough.

“how so?” 

so it wasn’t enough.

“i’m autistic, genius. i figured it was obvious by now.”

“oh. that makes sense.” that’s all he says, so you try to return your focus to your homework.

satan is probably the most comfortable talking to you about it. he’ll ask you questions about your personal experiences and make an effort to understand you better

one day you look over his shoulder to find him reading an article on masking on his DDD

he cares deeply for you, even if it’s hard for him to say so

asmo has wrangled you into yet another shopping trip

“MC, look at this!! you have to try it on!”

one look at the article of clothing and your face is already scrunching up

“absolutely not.”

“awe, why not?” he gives you the biggest puppy eyes and you sigh. he knows your weaknesses.

“the material. i hate it.”

“but it would look so good on you~”

clearly, he’s not going to give up unless you explain yourself to him

“sure, for a couple seconds, until i have a complete meltdown,” you remark. “i’m autistic, so some textures just make me feel really bad.”

his mouth makes an ‘o’ shape, and then he goes back to looking confused. “i hadn’t even thought about that as a possibility! you should’ve said something earlier!”

he feels really bad about all the times he’s touched you without warning. he thought your shock was cute (and he still does), but he knows that autistic people sometimes dislike touch - he’s definitely had at least a couple autistic ‘partners’ in the past

he’s quite the observant demon, quickly picking up on sensations you d and don’t like. if you’re bothered by smells, he does his best to lay off on the perfume - granted, it’s a necessary part of his routine that he absolutely cannot give up completely. he lets you play with the dimmer in his room so you can find the amount of light that works best.

occasionally, he’ll have to tell you that he’s trying his absolute best to flirt and you are giving him nothing. you’re just like “oh shit i didn’t realize”

asmo’s just a sweetheart who wants you to be comfortable

beel unfortunately has to learn about your autism because of a situation out of your control

you’re in the gym, keeping him company while he works out

you’re searching his bag and you realize you don’t have your headphones

oh fuck.

you always bring your headphones to the gym; the sounds of televisions, music, people talking, weights clinking, treadmills rumbling... it’s too much

not to mention the stench of sweat and the florescent lights - truly an autistic person’s nightmare

you squeeze you eyes shut, but that only makes the noise worse. you’re surrounded by noise and you can’t stop it. it occurs to you that you’re no longer breathing properly but it’s just too loud and you’re so small

“MC?” beel’s voice is soft and filled with obvious concern. you open your eyes, seeing him kneeling in front of you. your eyes sting, and you realize you’re tearing up. “MC, are you alright?” 

all you can do is shake your head

“do you want to go home?” you nod, biting your lip as he stands up, making you feel even smaller.

he quickly packs his things into his bag and offers you a hand, helping you get up

he quickly escorts you outside, where you practically gulp for air. 

he waits patiently with you while you slowly ground yourself. 

“okay, let’s go home.” you explain sensory overload as you walk, then tell him about your autism

beel, like asmo, is very observant and he learns surprisingly fast. 

he’s also very protective of you. if someone triggers you, he won’t hesitate to tell them off before doing a grounding exercise with you

he’s basically you’re giant therapy demon and you love him for it

it’s becoming way too much. you’ve been masking heavily for months, monitoring your every move while doing your absolute best to thrive in a (literally) completely different universe than what you’re used to

you’re laying facedown on the couch, practically unable to move. you want to go to your room, but your body won’t let you

“mc?” you hear belphegor’s voice. “are you trying to imitate me?” he teases

you simply groan in response, not wanting to bother

for a moment he goes silent. then, you feel a hand on your shoulder

you jolt up, swiping his hand away as you let out a small shout. belphie’s eyes are widened in surprise

“don’t touch me! ...please,” you add as an afterthought, feeling bad for scaring him

he sits with you on the couch, taking care to leave space between the two of you. “what’s wrong?” you don’t respond. “mc?”

“burnout. too much. feel bad.”

belphie has absolutely no clue what that means, but he figures he knows something that might help.

“want to take a nap with me?”

you have to think about it before responding with a “sure” and slowly crawling into his arms (if that’s something you’re okay with)

it’s night when the two of you wake up. you still feel awful, but you can at least cope better.

once belphie’s more awake, he asks you what the hell happened

“two words: autistic shutdown”

“that doesn’t explain anything” - belphie really doesn’t know anything about humans

you do your best to explain - you were born with a brain that works a bit differently than most humans. some of the symptoms are an aversion to change and ‘odd’ behavior that’s difficult to hide. when you get too stressed, you just kinda ‘shut down’

he takes a bit to really understand, but once he does, he does his best to support you.

he falls asleep to your infodumping and you find it endearing

he gets good at recognizing when you’re starting to shut down and he always convinces you to take a break via a cuddly nap

[mandoalorian]

Return of the Jedi [Max Lord x gn!Reader]

Summary: You and Alistair are heartbroken when you find out opening week tickets for Return of the Jedi have sold out. So Maxwell calls an old friend and organises a special surprise for his little family.

Warnings: food mention

Word count: 2000>

Author’s note: I received a request to write a Maxwell Lord x neurodivergent!Reader from @smoldjarin . They provided me with so much information in regards to autism, stimming, hyperfixations and more. I had so much joy writing this and I hope you find joy in reading it too. I couldn’t have done this without Melissa. I just hope I done it justice. (PS— I wanted to include Melissa’s love for Star Wars in this. I think we all, as Pedro stans, love Star Wars).

Maxwell wanted to pull his hair out. He had no idea what you and Alistair were yapping on about, but, evidently, it was something you both felt very passionate about. He’d seen you enthusiastic like this before, sure, but this was the first time he’d ever seen Alistair so hyped up. His brown eyes were gleaming as he hopped up and down.

“He literally said ‘I am your father!’ you laughed and Alistair let out a long groan.

“Yeah but he’s the bad guy! And the bad guys always lie,” Alistair explained — and that statement alone was enough to make Maxwell frown. ‘The bad guys always lie’ ... Ironic, to say the least. But, Alistair did make an excellent point. “I don’t trust him.”

You giggled and pulled Alistair into your lap. You’d never found it easy, touching people and being so close to them, but Alistair has grown to be an exception. He was like a son to you.

“Well, I suppose all will be revealed next week.” you told the ebony haired boy, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

You and Alistair got along really well, and Maxwell couldn’t be more grateful, but it was the moments when you both babbled on about Star Wars that had him feeling the most clueless. Granted, he hadn’t found the chance to sit through the movies, but he wanted to because he knew how much it meant to you and his son.

He was also made blissfully aware that the third and final instalment of the trilogy was being released next week, because you and Ali couldn’t stop talking about it. Even in the moments when Alistair wasn’t there, you expressed your excitement to Maxwell. He found it endearing though. He loved it when you talked about your interests and current hyper-fixations. Which is why his heart broke when you read the Friday morning paper and found out all the tickets for opening week were sold out.

Max, despite having no interest in Star Wars, was devastated when he saw the look on your face. He especially didn’t want to be the person who had to break the bad news to Alistair.

“I was really looking forward to it.” You mumbled sadly, your eyes fixated on your cereal. You only had a little left to eat, but truthfully, you’d lost all appetite. These movies and this franchise meant the absolute world to you, and now no doubt you’d have the final movie spoiled for you at work or by the television.

“Oh darling,” Maxwell hummed, wrapping his strong arms around you and holding you tight. You relished in his warmth and found yourself getting lost in the comforting scent of his sweet musk cologne. “I know. And I’m sorry,” the silence between you both broke his heart. “Don’t worry honey, I’ll fix this.”

You weren’t sure how he could possibly fix this. There were simply no more seats available in the movie theatres. He couldn’t just spawn in more seats. What Maxwell Lord did have though, was power, influence and money— and when he put his mind to something, he was sure to get it done. You had never met anyone more determined than him.

He didn’t want to leave you that morning, but duty called and he had to go to work. You tried your hardest to push through the day, ignoring this morning’s revelation. You opted to meet up with a friend at the park, and got ice cream. But when you’re friend told you they’d got tickets, you couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy. You deserved these tickets. It just wasn’t fair.

Maxwell was struggling to focus on his work too. He was running out of bright ideas, but he didn’t just want his statement from this morning to be another empty promise. He actually wanted to fix this. He’d do anything to make you and Alistair happy.

Then it struck him. If his life was a kids cartoon, an illuminated lightbulb would’ve popped above his head. He buzzed his assistant, Raquel, into his office.

“Mr. Lord?” she smiled, walking towards his pine wood desk. Maxwell combed his fingers through his golden locks of hair and looked up at the blonde girl.

“Do I know anyone who is in the uh— the new Star Wars movie?” He inquired.

Raquel was expecting some question about the latest oil numbers, or a request for more supplements — so to say she was taking aback by her boss’ query was an understatement.

She thought for a moment. “Well, Harrison Ford has been a long time investor for Black Gold. He attended last year’s charity gala. Do you remember?”

Of course Maxwell remembered. How could one forget about being in the presence of Hollywood A-Lister Harrison Ford? “Harrison’s in Star Wars?” Maxwell quizzed, trying to hide his piqued curiosity. “Bring me his number. I have to make a call.”

———

Maxwell was so excited to get home and share the good news with you and Alistair. You greeted him just as you normally did, with a loving embrace and a gentle kiss.

“How was your day sweetheart?” your boyfriend asked, smoothing out your hair.

You shrugged. “Fine I s’pose,” you told him. “How was work?”

Maxwell’s grin only grew. “Bring Alistair in.” he beamed.

You called for the boy who had been playing with his action figures in his bedroom. His mom had dropped him off about an hour before Maxwell got home. You and Ali snuggled into each other on the crushed velveteen sofa as Maxwell paced backwards and forwards. It wasn’t nervous pacing though, he was bubbling with anticipation.

“I hope you’re all excited for tomorrow night,” Maxwell began, before flashing three pristine Return of the Jedi tickets before yours and Alistair’s eyes. “Because I met with my good friend Han Solo for lunch and he has given us access to a private screening on Sunday night. So we get to see the movie before the rest of the world.”

You felt like you were in a dream. He’d done it. He’d actually fixed it. You didn’t know how and you knew better than to question him, but it didn’t matter because he somehow managed to fix this and it was all to you and Alistair. You’d found it so hard to find someone who loved you for you, who didn’t mind your stims and who encouraged your hyperfixations. But Maxwell was that man and you couldn’t believe how lucky you had gotten.

Alistair bounced up and jumped on his dad, almost knocking him over in the process. Maxwell wrapped his arms around the six year old and picked him up.

“Daddy! Thank you thank you thank you!” he squealed, unable to contain his ecstatic grin. “I had no idea you were friends with Han Solo!”

Maxwell smiled. “Oh yeah, me and Han go way back. I used to co pilot with him on the—“ Maxwell paused for a second as he tried to recall what Harrison told him. He had to get this right. “—Millennium Falcon?”

Both yours and Alistair’s jaw dropped. Gods, he was good at this. Maxwell may have been a brilliant businessman but he was an even better father.

“Does that mean you know Luke and Leia too?” Alistair asked.

“Oh yes.” Maxwell nodded, despite having no idea who Luke and Leia were.

“And Chewbacca?”

Chewbacca? Maxwell thought. What kind of name was that? Never the less he smiled and nodded. “Absolutely.”

“And Artoo and Threepio?”

Maxwell blinked. “Yep.” he replied through gritted teeth.

“Wow daddy,” Alistair hummed, snuggling into his dad’s chest. “I’m so excited.”

Maxwell dropped Alistair the ground and kneeled to his level. “You should put on your jammies and have an early night. That way, tomorrow will come around quicker.”

“Okay!” Alistair agreed enthusiastically before running back into his bedroom.

“And remember Ali!” Maxwell called. He cleared his throat and pointed his finger. “I am your father.”

That was it. That was the last straw. You’d tried your hardest to hold back your laughter as Max humoured his son, but seeing your boyfriend do a Darth Vader impression was something else.

Max sighed and sat down next to you, pulling your body into his lap. “I love you so much, my dear.”

You grinned and pressed a kiss to his lips. “I love you too. I can’t believe you did all of this.” you revealed.

“I always keep my promises.” he replied with the most genuine smile.

———

The movie was a success, and even Maxwell enjoyed it, which was very unexpected.

“I can’t believe Darth Vader was telling the truth,” Alistair sighed, exasperated. It had been a long day for sure, and his cheeks were still rosy with excitement. “I’m so glad Darth Vader isn’t my dad.”

Maxwell tutted.

“But he turned good in the end,” You smiled, taking Ali’s hand. “He saw what truly mattered. He had to save his son.”

Yeah, the parallels between Vader and Luke and Maxwell and Alistair were interesting to say the least.

“Daddy, who was your favourite character?” Alistair asked.

Maxwell thought for a moment. “I liked that guy in the green armour, he was cool. He sorta reminds me of, well, me.”

“Boba Fett?” Alistair quirked an eyebrow. “Oh daddy, no one is as cool as Boba Fett.”

Maxwell feigned a gasp. “Not even your old

man?”

Alistair giggled and rolled his eyes. “I liked the Ewok!” he announced and then tugged on your hand. “Who did you like?”

“I like Leia,” you beamed. “She’s strong and beautiful...”

“Just like you.” Maxwell whispered, brushing his

lips against yours.

The night came to an end and you couldn’t have been happier. As you lay in bed, you thanked Maxwell for all he had done. He was truly the best boyfriend in the world. He loved you so much, and he swore in that moment, as you fell asleep in his arms, that the next promise he’d make would be a promise to himself.

He was going to marry you.

———

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Amoreena | chapter thirteen

Chapter Thirteen

main summary: Heaven is a real place and it's located exactly 14.6 miles away from the FBI, Quantico Headquarters. Off behind a small park, under a fantastical willow tree surrounded by wildflowers, in every colour young minds can imagine.

Don't forget, heaven also comes with angels.

Chapter Warnings: fluff like unbelievably fluffy!

word count: 6.1

here's the playlist for the fic, the last song in the playlist if looped will lead right into Amoreena at the beginning and it works pretty well timing-wise if you like to listen while you read !!

from the beginning <3

All their bags were packed by Friday morning, Y/N and Amoreena waking up extra early with excitement for the weekend ahead of them, and they didn’t even know what was going to happen yet.

Y/N made sure everything was packed and ready for a 3rd time on Saturday morning, right before they left on the trip; making sure they had sunscreen and aloe vera, all her medicine and ginger ale by the pack for her random bouts of morning sickness that lasted all, day, long... And their dresses and his suit hanging behind the driver's seat, beside Amoreena, they all piled into Y/N’s car and took off down the road on their adventure.

Amoreena was awake for the first half of the 9-hour trip, singing like crazy as they drove through Washington, Baltimore, Philadelphia and New York, it was so amazing she couldn’t stop cheering the whole time. It was more than she’s ever seen before, even though they lived so close to New York, she’s never been through it before.

Once they arrived in Rhode Island, Spencer pulled over at the closest gas station to make sure the girls were all prepared and ready for the big surprise he had for them. They filled the car, used the restroom and bought some lemonade before getting back into the car, he turned in the driver's seat to see Amoreena and Y/N better, looking at their wide eyes memorizing the calmness in their faces before he told them.

He didn’t want them to freak out too much, he was worried about Y/N’s blood pressure and how loud she might scream and any stress that a situation like this could put on her body. He’s seen how people react to Taylor Swift, he just didn’t know how they would.

“Now, I'm only telling you so you don't freak out," he repeated the same worry she had when she broke the news of the baby, "I didn’t have to rent a place on the water because my friend lives up here, so we’re going to stay in her guest house,” he explained it simply.

“Rossi's wife?” Y/N asked, confused about who it could be and if she knew this woman yet.

“No, actually I think you might know her, her name is Taylor?”

“No,” she shakes her head furiously, “no, nope, there's no way you did this, Spencer Walter Reid I am not kidding I’m going to pass away if I see her.” She's holding both her hands in fists as she tries to stay calm, closing her eyes quickly before letting out a deep sigh.

“Taylor who?” Amoreena yells, undoing her seatbelt and standing between their seats, she almost jumps into his lap as she leans over and grabs a fistful of his shirt, “Taylor WHO?”

“Go get in your seat and I’ll show you,” he teases, watching her follow orders and get back in the seat as quickly as possible, shouting at him to drive the second he hears the seatbelt click again.

Y/N is completely speechless for the next 20 minutes of the drive, eyes wide and a hand on her stomach as she stares out the front window. She’s like a statue, not able to hear anything Amoreena is saying but that doesn't stop her from going on and on with her stories.

“Mom!” She’s finally able to break her out of the haze, “pass me your phone!”

“Yeah,” she doesn’t even question it, handing her the phone back to the antsy 7-year-old so she could continue her internal panic.

They see her house on the hill as they approach, “holy shit,” Y/N whispers as Amoreena turns on the last great American dynasty, knowing exactly where they were going.

Taylor asked for his licence plate number and car model when they were emailing, letting her gate guy know to let Spencer right in so he could keep it a secret. But they knew the house, there was no point in not telling them. Y/N looked a little relieved that he gave her the time to freak out alone and not as soon as they crested the hill.

Her driveway felt never-ending as they got closer and closer, Amoreena was still in disbelief as she squealed in the back seat, hands flailing as she tried to calm the excitement inside her body with her favourite stim.

Then Taylor walked out into the front yard and Y/N was a mess. Crying as she waved her hand in front of her face, not wanting to be a mess in front of Taylor fucking Swift, “I told you nothing crazy! How did you do this?”

“Yes, but I said 'define crazy’ and you didn’t,” he reminds her with a cheeky smile.

She shoves him, “I didn’t think you could do this?!”

Once they’re parked the door automatically unlocked, and as much as spencer hated that non-safety feature, he's glad Amoreena can get out quickly before she's screaming bloody murder. Amoreena is out the door and in Taylor’s arms faster than they’ve ever seen her move, she should be a track star. It almost knocks Taylor to the ground as she takes her in, holding the sweet little girl against her chest with the biggest smile on her face. Amoreena snuggles right into her, with a hand on her cheek and her other arm wrapped behind her neck. She couldn't be any closer to her, it was like she was her favourite relative who she hasn't seen in a while.

Amoreena is talking her ear off already by the time Spencer’s helping Y/N out of the car and walking her to Taylor, she’s holding his hand like she’s going to pass out or something, “and this is my mom Y/N and my dad Spencer but somehow you know him already,” Amoreena introduces her.

“Hi, Y/N, it's a pleasure to meet you, Spencer's told me a lot about you.” Taylor’s sweet voice saying her name alone makes her stutter out a bunch of nonsense, not to mention the fact Spencer's been talking to Taylor fucking Swift about her.

Amoreena moves out of the way for Taylor to wrap her up in a hug, and Y/N cries harder than he’s ever seen on her shoulder, “thank you,” is all she can say, it’s frightening to Amoreena at first to see her mom cry like that but she knows her mom just loves Taylor like family.

What she doesn’t know is just how much Taylor saved her life. If she didn’t have someone to listen to, someone to take the pain and replace it with hope, she wouldn’t be here and by default neither would Amoreena. Spencer owed everything to Taylor swift at this point, she was a blessing in his life that he took for granted. Not realizing until that moment just how much she meant to him as well now.

“Sorry,” Y/N finally says as she pulls off her, “I’m pregnant, I can’t help it.”

Taylor’s hands fly right to her stomach, “holy crap, you never told me that she’s pregnant in your emails, oh my god!” She’s genuinely so happy for them, “how far along are you?”

“6 weeks on Sunday,” she smiles, feeling like herself again even though it’s incredibly strange to be telling Taylor before her parents even knew. “No one really knows, it’s all very new but when you know, you know… y’know?”

For a woman with an English language degree, she sure knew how to make a sentence, all of them laughing at the words she chose, but they understood.

“We should have used paper rings!” Amoreena yells, holding her hand over her eyes in disbelief as she shares her head with a sigh, she couldn’t believe she forgot that song existed.

It made Taylor laugh, scooping the little one up in her arms and starting the walk inside.

“Well come on in, I’ve got a big lunch spread ready for us and then we can go to the beach for the ceremony whenever you want this weekend, does that sound good?” Taylor is beyond excited to make new friends, much like Amoreena, they got along famously.

“Where are the cats? Do they live here or in LA or Nashville?” Amoreena changed the topic in the form of a yes and proving just how much she knew about Taylor.

“They’re here, Olivia and Benjamin will probably find us soon, Meredith isn’t very open to new friends now that she’s an old lady,” Taylor explained as she set Amoreena down in the entryway, bending down to be at her level and pointing off into the living room, “oh, see, there one is!”

Amoreena saw one of them laying on the floor under a sunny spot, running to it and petting it gently, “hi Benjamin, I loved you in the ME video,” she whispers as she pets him, making Taylor swoon.

“She’s amazing,” Taylor swooned, “I can’t wait to have one.”

“You should!” Y/N agreed, reaching to take Taylor's hand on impulse, and Taylor held it back with a smile, “oh that would be so wonderful, I can just imagine the beautiful stories you’ll create when you discover what it’s like to love someone how your mom loves you.”

Taylor’s smile was priceless, "that's the best way to think about it," she beamed at Y/N the way Spencer did, she had that effect on people. They followed her into the dining room, taking a seat near each other and digging into all the food Taylor made for them.

“Ah,” Amoreena said as she finally joined them, sitting on her knees on Taylors nice antique chairs. “Shark coochie,” she whispers the words to herself, not able to stop her mind from repeating it, but still not wanting Taylor to hear it in case it was inappropriate. She was incredibly well-mannered for someone who had a hard time reading social queues.

“It’s a hard word to say,” Taylor agreed, making her feel less awkward. Spencer may have told her about her autism in advance, wanting his little girl to be respected by everyone she met, for who she truly was, “my mom called it a coochie spread once, actually, she's going to be over tomorrow for father's day.”

"Yes! Oh, I love Andrea," Amoreena laughed at how cool this day was, smiling at Taylor the way she smiled at him that first morning at breakfast like she just found yet another person to love. “You’re so wonderful, Taylor.”

“Oh, thank you, you're pretty enchanting yourself,” she smiles, “I take it you’ve known about me for your whole life?”

“Yep,” she smiled, reaching for a chocolate-covered strawberry and taking a huge bite, covering her mouth before she continued, “I was born a month after Red came out, November thirteenth, it really is a lucky number now, mom says so at least.”

“It is!” Taylor agreed with a smile, “I have some markers, do you want to wear matching 13’s today?”

“Mom, can I colour on my hand?” She turns so fast Spencer thinks she’ll get whiplash.

“Yeah, go for it!” She agrees, spreading cream cheese on a croissant and layering tomatoes on top, definitely pregnant.

So Taylor gets a marker and both their left hands now have matching numbers. Amoreena asks to take a million photos, eventually just taking Y/N’s phone from her, permanently, to take photos of all her favourite things around the house.

She runs off with the cats at a certain point, giving Y/N a chance to thank Taylor without tiny ears listening in. “Can I get really emotional and tell you how much you mean to me or is that too weird for our first chat?”

“Not weird at all, knowing you’ve used my music to raise that beautiful child makes me love you just as much, I’d love to hear why you picked me, of all musicians, to show her how to love,” Taylor replies, as regal and kindly as humanly possible.

“My first fiancé, Stephen, he was actually like an angel and our first kiss was quite literally in the rain, but he passed away in 2010,” she explained it with a smile so Taylor knew it wasn’t a touchy subject anymore, “I bonded with Fearless in a way I can’t even describe to you, it’s my life, he was my superstar, and white horse, I mean come on, I can’t tell you how many times I cried to that after he died but it helped me not feel alone. I wouldn’t be who I am without Fearless, and then Speak Now was there for me when I needed a good cry, Last Kiss really broke me but it wasn’t until Lover came out that I realized I could find someone again, and it’s always just like you released things as I needed them like you were helping me through all the bad things,��� she’s never even told Spencer all this, it was special to him that he got to give her this moment.

“When you re-released it with the vault songs, I met Spencer literally a month later. I cried my eyes out to you all over me, but That’s When makes me think of Spencer and now the whole album has a new memory in my heart that’s better. It's just like why you re-released it, to replace the bad things that happened that took all the happiness out of something you cared so much about." Y/N took a second to breathe, shaky as she got to the end of her rant that she seemed to have prepared in the 20 minutes before she had to talk to her.

"I love you, honestly. You’re my best friend and you didn’t even know me then, but you’ve held my hand through it all, so thank you,” she cried a little, holding her belly with one hand as she tried to hold the tears in.

Taylor was out of her chair and in Y/N’s arms within seconds, crying into her arms as she held her. She rubbed Y/N’s back as she cried too, “I’m so sorry that happened, but I’m glad I could be there.”

“Do you want to be this baby's godmother?” She asks on impulse without even asking Spencer if he’s okay with it, he was, it made him laugh.

“Eleonora Taylor Reid,” Spencer says from across the table, making them both turn to him with wide eyes.

“Yes,” Y/N agrees fast, “that's the name if it’s a girl, if it’s a boy he can be Taylor as well?”

“Holy shit,” Taylor smiled wide, “yes, I want to come to visit the farm and buy them baby gifts and throw you a baby shower! I inadvertently helped make them so it’s only fair.”

“Hopefully she gets your voice too, Y/N,” Spencer adds and Y/N shoots him a panicked glance, “it’s the Taylor legacy to be a good singer.”

“You can sing?” The question Y/N feared coming past Taylor's lovely vocal cords, almost on queue.

Y/N can't help but glare at spencer, he had too many tricks up his sleeve and she was at her limit.

“Yes,” Y/N finally answers, “I was going to go to theatre school, but I switched to become a Librarian, I’m not good with crowds or competition and that's basically what the industry depends on. I like the quiet, telling stories on paper is just as easy as singing it to a crowd.”

“That's fair,” Taylor agreed, “would you and Amoreena like to sing some song with me? I have my guitar or the piano? I’m not used to having new friends over without sharing at least 1 song with them. I’m sure you’ve seen my listening parties?” She was really trying to convince her to sing, Spencer knew why and what she had planned.

Amoreena came running in then, “I can play piano too, can we do the long live new year's day from the tour movie?” She rests her hands on Taylor's arm, looking up at her with the biggest puppy dog eyes.

“Of course, come on,” she says taking Amoreena’s hand and rushing into the piano room. “Here, we’ll record it too,” she offered, setting her phone up on the music stand to capture the moment forever.

They sat side by side on the bench, Amoreena showing her how she could play the opening perfectly and surprising Spencer. He knew they had a piano at home, he’s just never seen her play it before.

“She has perfect pitch,” Y/N bragged, “she can play a song after hearing it once.”

“Really?” Spencer had no idea, unbelievably proud of her as he listened to her play.

She’s quietly playing the intro to Long Live as Taylor watches, joining in with the harmony of New Year's Day, “this one reminds me of my mom and dad.”

“Does it?” Taylor coo’s, smiling at her softly as Y/N tries not to cry beside Spencer.

“They’re the knight and the princess of our kingdom,” she explained before the two of them started singing the words together, like they always have, only Taylor was beside her and not just on the TV.

“I said remember this moment, in the back of my mind, the time we stood with our shaking hands, the crowds in the stands went wild,” Amoreena’s tiny voice lead-in, fearlessly as she played away.

“We were the Kings and the Queens, and they read off our names, the night you danced like you knew our lives would never be the same... You held your head like a hero, on a history book page... It was the end of a decade, but the start of an age,” Spencer couldn’t help but cry as she sang with Taylor.

This was on the concert movie, he showed her after school, this song came on and she was silent, listening to the words as she stared at him and then back at the TV. Her mind was connecting little dots, making a story about her mom and dad being the king and the queen, it all made sense now.

“Long live the walls we crashed through, how the kingdom lights shined just for me and you, I was screaming long live, all the magic we made and bring on all the pretenders, I’m not afraid,

Long live all the mountains we moved, I had the time of my life, fighting dragons with you, I was screaming long live, that look on your face, and bring on all the pretenders, one day, we will be remembered,”

Their fingers moved in sync on the keys as they harmonized almost perfectly, she wasn’t kidding about Amoreena having perfect pitch. She knew all the words and sang them almost louder than Taylor.

“And hold on to spinning around, confetti, falls to the ground. May these memories break our fall…”

The piano changes, the cords softer as they move into a new song, smiling at her mom and dad like she knew something. She had no idea what happened the night of the fake wedding, just that they had a party without her.

“And hold on… To spinning around… Confetti… Falls to the ground…”

Spencer wraps his arms around Y/N then, resting his chin on her shoulder as they sway to the tune, she’s barely whispering the words beside him as she smiles as her baby.

“There's glitter on the floor after the party, girls carrying their shoes down in the lobby, candle wax and Polaroids on the hardwood floor, you and me from the night before, but… Don’t read the last page, but I stay when you're lost, and I'm scared and you're turning away. I want, your midnights, I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day,”

Y/N’s hands rest on top of Spencer’s, she squeezes them three times, right before the next lyric.

“You squeeze my hand three times in the back of the taxi, I can tell that it's gonna be a long road. I’ll be there if you're the toast of the town, babe, or if you strike out and you're crawling home,

Don't read the last page, but I stay, when it’s hard or it’s wrong or we’re making mistakes. I want, your midnights, but I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day,”

“Hold on, to the memories, they will hold on to you,” the two of them chanting along with Taylor in beautiful harmony, Spencer felt like he was in heaven among the angels, but for real this time. “And I will hold on to you…”

The piano is so soft, it’s just Amoreena’s fingers hitting them as Taylor goes silent, letting her take the lead with a soft smile, “Please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh, I, could recognize anywhere. Please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh, I, could recognize anywhere.”

They stop for just a moment for Amoreena to smile up at Taylor, just like the break in the concert, “I really do love you,” she reminds them all before playing again.

“We love you, too, sweet girl,” Taylor replies for them using the same nickname for her because it was the truth. She was the sweetest girl, that Amoreena.

“There's glitter on the floor after the party, girls carrying their shoes down in the lobby, candle wax and Polaroids on the hardwood floor. You and me forevermore, don't read the last page, but I stay when it’s hard or it’s wrong or we’re making mistakes and I want, your midnights, but I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day,”

“Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you,” the girls all chant together, swaying back and forth to the rhythm before taking different parts in the song like they’ve planned it before.

“And Long live,” Taylor takes the one song, while Amoreena takes the other.

Please don't ever become a stranger…

The walls we crashed through..

Whose laugh I could recognize anywhere…

I had the time of my life

Please don't ever become a stranger…

With you…

Whose laugh I could recognize anywhere…"

Amoreena plays the rest, smiling wide at the best day of her life. Meaning every single word she’s saying. “And Long live, the walls we crashed through. I had the time of my life… With you…” Amoreena ends with a few extra notes, making Taylor smile as she held her in a side hug.

She turns back to the piano then, starting to play Amoreena by Elton John. “No way..” Y/N gasps, before getting ready to sing along with all the confidence in the world, alongside Taylor Swift of all people.

“It’s just that; Lately, I've been thinking, how much I miss my lady, Amoreena's in the hayfield, brightening the daybreak,” Taylor changes some of the words, much to Y/N surprise.

“Livin’ like a lusty flower, runnin’ through the grass for hours, rollin’ through the hay, oooh, like a puppy child! And when it rains, the rain falls down… washing out the cattle town… and she's far away somewhere… in her eiderdown… And she dreams of crystal streams, of days gone by when we would lean… Laughing, fit to burst, upon each other…”

Y/N turns to Spencer then, singing to him softly as she wraps her arms around him and sways her hips to the song, pressing against him like they were in the movie Dirty Dancing, something she’s always wanted to do, clearly, with the smile on her face as she sings.

“I can see you sittin’, eatin’, apples in the evenin’. Fruit juice, flowing slowly, slowly, slowly down the bronze of your body. Livin’, like a lusty flower, runnin’ through the grass for hours, rollin’ through the hay, oooh, like a puppy child.”

Amoreena’s voice was the loudest in the chorus, this was her song after all. She belted it out like it was made for her.

“And when it rains, the rain falls down! Washing out the cattle town! And she's far away somewhere… in her eiderdown! And she dreams of crystal streams, of days gone by! When we would lean, laughing, fit to burst upon each other…”

Spencer knew the words as well, who didn’t? It was Elton John's best song. He hugged Y/N, snuggling into the crook of her neck as they twirled in Taylor Swift's living room, swaying with her, forgetting they weren’t alone for a moment.

“Oh, if only I could nestle, in the cradle of your cabin. My arm's around your shoulder, oh… The window wide and open, while the swallow and the sycamore, whoa! Are playing in the valley. Oh, I miss you, Amoreena, like the king bee misses honey!”

“And when it rains, the rain falls down! Washing out the cattle town! and she's far away somewhere… in her eiderdown! And she dreams of crystal streams, of days gone by when we would lean! Laughing, fit to burst upon each other, oooh!”

Amoreena and Taylor playing the iconic piano solo together, Y/N can’t help but move in closer to watch over her little girls shoulders.

“Lately, I've been thinking… How much I miss my lady… Amoreena's in a cornfield, brightening the daybreak. Livin’, like a lusty flower! Runnin; through the grass for hours! Rollin’ through the hay, woah! Like a puppy, like a puppy, child…” Y/N’s voice loud enough to be on the recording Taylor was making as the song ended.

Taylor stopped it then, just as Y/N swore, “holy shit, that was the coolest thing that’s ever happened in my whole life.”

“Mom,” Amoreena looked at her like she broke the law or something, “you don’t swear in front of her…” she mumbled.

Taylor laughed, wrapping her up in another hug, “have you heard champagne problems? It’s okay for big kids to swear here,” she teased her.

They laughed like they were family like they’ve been there before and were always meant to return. Something just clicked with them, and without a doubt, they’d be returning. Taylor Swift of all people slipped right into their little life, filling the shoes of big sister, best friend and coolest aunt in the world all in one day.

It was the most perfect afternoon.

—

Just before the sunset, they all changed into their wedding attire. Meeting out on the beach for their small, extremely intimate wedding ceremony with miss Taylor Swift. Getting it out of the way so they could have the whole weekend for whatever Taylor had planned for them. She said she had a few surprises up her sleeve still.

They filled out all the paperwork required on Taylor's kitchen table beforehand, she had all the right documents from when she registered to ordain online. All they had to do was submit it at town hall and they’d be legally married.

But it didn’t matter to them, this was enough.

Taylor and Amoreena stood side by side at a homemade arch on the beachfront that Taylor owned, waiting patiently for Spencer and Y/N to walk down the fake aisle, hand in hand. They couldn’t stop smiling as they saw Amoreena at the end, a big smile on her face as she bounced with excitement.

They reached the end, turning to each other, Amoreena took Y/N’s bouquet, it was her duty as maid of honour and best man.

“Spencer and I have been emailing for 2 weeks about today, he’s been filling me in little by little about you both as he got to know you, I’ve really gotten to see his love for you in the form of letters,” Taylor described with a large smile on her face.

Y/N looks at him with an open mouth, shocked as she shakes her head in disbelief at him. “You’re kidding, is she who emailed you when we had lunch 2 weeks ago?”

Spencer nodded with another cheeky smile, “she emailed me as you told me not to plan anything too crazy.”

Y/N just laughed at the insanity, “sorry Taylor, please continue.”

“It’s okay,” she laughed along, “it’s actually kind of interesting how Amoreena picked long live and New Year’s Day to sing because from what I’ve learned about you both, the intermission poem from that tour really was written for you, somehow. Almost like by design or some violent, exquisite happenstance…”

Y/n’s eyed do that thing they always do when she’s remembering something she’s heard before, finding the exact filing cabinet in her mind and opening it. She finds the words.

“When she fell, she fell apart. Cracked her bones on the pavement she once decorated as a child with sidewalk chalk,” she starts the poem with a small nod, letting Taylor continue the monologue in the form of vows.

“When’s she crashed, her clothes disintegrated. And blew away with the winds that took all of her fair-weather friends, family and lovers. When she looked around her skin was spattered with ink. Forming the words of a thousand voices, echoes she heard even in her sleep: whatever you say, it is not right. Whatever you do, it is not enough. Your kindness is fake. Your pain is manipulative.”

Y/N hasn’t watched the concert recently, unlike Spencer. She didn’t realize how much it sounded like them. Spencer, however, spotted the coincidences the second he heard it that night with Amoreena. Telling Taylor, explaining in detail how Maeve and Stephen were their personal last kiss storylines, but they’ve found a lover in each other. Cheesy, but it was the best way he could describe it.

“When she lay there on the ground she dreamed of time machines and revenge. And a love that was really something. Not just the idea of something.”

She turned her attention to Spencer, replacing the pronouns to fit him for the next part, Y/N looked at him already knowing why, smiling as she made the connection in her mind.

“When he finally rose, he rose slowly. Avoiding old haunts and sidestepping shiny pennies. Wary of phone calls and promises, charmers, dandies and get-love-quick-schemes.

When he stood, he stood with a desolate knowingness, waded out into the dark wild oceans up to his neck. Bathed in his brokenness. Said a prayer of gratitude, for each chink in the armour he never knew he needed.

Standing broad-shouldered next to him, was a love that was really something. Not just the idea of something.

When they turned to go home, they heard echoes of new words: may your heart remain breakable but never by the same hand twice. And even louder: without your past, you could never have arrived so wondrously and brutally, by design or some violent, exquisite happenstance… here.”

“What she said,” Y/N says with a quick giggle, leaning in as she laughs, taking him down in a giggle fit with her.

Amoreena’s lightly tugging on Taylor’s dress then, “you have to say it, please you can’t not say it, I had this planned out before I even knew you’d beee here…” she whispers like Taylor has any clue what she’s talking about.

Y/N just starts to shake her head with a smile, “I think she means the speak now bridge,” she reminds her.

“Ahh,” she smiles, picking Amoreena up to be at eye level with them all, she sings. “I hear the preacher say speak now or forever hold, your, pee-E-eeace,” she sings it exactly like it is on the album, almost as if she’s been practicing to release it again…

“There’s the silence there’s my last chance, I stand up with shaking hands all eyes, on me,” Amoreena lightly signs right back. “Horrified looks from everyone in the room but I’m only looking at you!”

Spencer laughs then too, smiling at his little girl living out the fantasy of a lifetime, seeing her mom dressed like a princess and marrying the broken knight with rusty armour, while Taylor Swift of all people holds her. Nothing about the life they had together felt real, but he wouldn’t change it for the world.

“I think it’s only fair if I get a say in who marries my mom because I’ve known her the longest,” she adds, “and I’m not the kind of girl who should be rudely barging in on this white veil occasion, but you happen to be the best dad in the whole world, so I think it’s cool that you love my mom.”

Y/N lets out a choked sob, she clearly had no idea that Amoreena was planning to say all that, but of course, she was. She knew all about every single Disney princess wedding, every fairytale ending and happily ever after, Taylor has helped her learn about love and vows and true feelings that cannot be stopped.

She knew what to say and she meant every word.

Spencer reaches out to take Amoreena from Taylor, holding her in his arms instead as Y/N snuggled in close to them, both his girls in his arms.

“I think it’s only fair I give some vows to you as well, I’m committing my whole life to this family, you should know how much that means I love you, too, Amoreena.” She snuggles in closer to his neck as she holds him back, Y/N’s head resting on his other shoulder.

“Till the day I die, I am going to be here for you: with unconditional love, with the best stories and the best morning cuddles. I don’t care if you pull me out of bed at 5 in the morning to feed the goats, or the chickens or just because you think the sun looks pretty and want me to see it too. I love you Amoreena, you’ve completed my life."

"Do you remember that day you asked me to be your dad?” his voice is so soft as he bumps her cheek with his nose.

She wipes her tears as she pulls away from his shoulder, overly emotional at the events of the day and extremely tired from the excitement she let out earlier. She nods softly, “I meant it.”

“I know honey,” he can’t help but start to cry a little as well, dropping his manly facade and being real with her. She deserved to see exactly what she meant to him, “I watched you pouring glitter glue all over that table, making the biggest mess ever, but it made me think… I had a hole in my heart for so many years, there was a part of me missing for so, so, so long, and then I found a little Eden by beautiful little kingdom, and the fairest lady in all the land took me in, and she patched up my broken heart with glitter glue.”

Amoreena tried to smile the tears away, sniffling as she tried to nod, “that's how I felt when you told me I could pick you to be my dad.”

Y/N was a sobbing mess, having to crouch down to her knees as she let it all out, steadying herself by holding onto Spencer’s leg like a child would at that height, “is she okay?” Amoreena worried.

“Your mom loves us so much, and the baby does too, so it’s making her a bit more emotional than normal,” he explains, wishing he could scoop Y/N up and hold her as well.

She wipes the tears from her face as she calms herself down and stands back up with help from Taylor, “thank you,” she manages to whisper to her with a smile.

She’s also been crying, watching the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen. A family built on true love coming together, using her songs to form a bond that she’d never understand.

And she didn’t want to, some stories were best kept in families, to be sent down the line, generation after generation, to fall into the lap of someone like her one day and create a whole world with it.

“With the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband, wife and daughter, the royal Reid family,” Taylor’s voice is soft as she plays along with Amoreena’s fantasy land, hushed to match the moment as Spencer leaned in to kiss Y/N.

Amoreena doesn’t cry out in disgust this time, instead, resting her head on her dad's shoulder as she watched them peck each other's lips gently. Watching a fairytale happy ending unfold in front of her very eyes, blessed to be the result of this happy union.

...

A/N: my anon is on now if anyone wants to come talk about the fic with me!! i love to share little hc's and things with you over here (also this was the original planned ending I wasn't going to continue past here but I'm probably going to write this for the next 10 years its too fun not to)

tag list: @shemarmooresfedora @spencers-dria @spookyspence @reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @samuel-de-champagne-problems @jswessie187

[gaysimpsstuff]

Fatgum As a Dad

This was inspired by a conversation I had on a discord server, we all have daddy issues and want Fatgum to adopt us so here’s all the shit we collected.

There are some serious themes in here, mostly regarding the biological parents of the kid, but it’s vague as possible. If anyone wants me to add a trigger warning please let me know.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It all started when he was a kid, when he learned what an orphanage was. One of the kids in his class mentioned being from one, so when he got home he asked his parents about it. 

“Mom, what’s an orphanage?”

“Well, Taishiro, it’s where children that don’t have parents go. Then people can come and adopt the children. Why do you ask.”

“A kid at school said he’s from one, when d’you think he’s gonna get adopted?”

“He might, not all children get adopted. Some of them stay in the orphanage until they’re adults.”

“BUT THAT’S NOT FAIR!” he shouted. “EVERYONE DESERVES A HAPPY CHILDHOOD!”

“Well, honey, life’s not fair. And not everyone gets a happy life. It’s how most villains are made, actually. They were hurt more than everyone else and couldn’t handle it anymore. Not all villains are like that but many are. I think you should stay away from that kid, Taishiro. He might turn out a villain.”

But he didn’t stay away. And he made it his mission to become a pro hero so he could make a ton of money and help as many people as he could. He’d help even villains, keep them from doing something dangerous and inspire hope in them.

Then, he’d adopt any kid who needed a father. All the orphanages and foster programs would be empty. Homeless children off the street and in his house, being fed and clothed. He’d care for each and every one of them, not wanting a single person to feel like they didn’t belong. 

He finds most of his kids at pride parades. He walks around with a shirt that says ‘FREE DAD HUGS’ and a box full of candy. He remembered one of the kids walking up to him slowly.

“Um.. are you Fatgum?” 

“Yes I am!”

“Can I have a hug?”

“Yes you can, Kiddo!” he got down, and the kid put his arms on his stomach (Fatgum’s too big for anyone to fully hug, the dude’s taller than Allmight!) he wrapped his arms around the kid before he heard sniffles. He looked down and saw that the kid was crying.

“M-my parents never hug me like this!” they exclaimed. “They haven’t since I came out. They want to kick me out when I turn thirteen!” 

“Can I have their number? I’m going to... talk to them.”

He ended up taking the kid’s family to court, and since the parents were going to just kick the kid out anyways, they let Fatgum adopt them, but they kept nagging him about how he was ‘going to be raising a little demon.’

“Then call me Lucifer.” he spat right back. Now, that kid’s grown up, has pride flags all around their walls, and doesn’t ever doubt that they’re loved.

Fatgum probably bakes with his kids. Helping them up onto the counter to mix ingredients and play with the dough. If they mess something up or break a glass, it’s fine. He doesn’t yell at them or sigh and shake his head, he just kissed the kid on the forehead and helps them clean up the mess. 

The food always turns out amazing, and Fatgum always tells the kids that. All of his kids are now Gordon Ramsay level chefs and have probably met Gordon Ramsay. 

No matter what their body type is, Fatgum tells his kids their handsome/beautiful and are model worthy. If anyone comments of one of his kid’s body, whether it be negative or... ‘positive’ in a creepy way, you can expect that they’re getting slammed into the ground. No questions asked.

One of Fatgum’s kids is really good at make-up. Like, really good. So Fatgum did the only thing a rational father would do. 

Ask for a make-up job.

It didn’t end all that well...

“Hold still.. I gotta get the eyeliner on.”

“Gosh, Kiddo it’s making my eyes water.” 

“I know, just hold still... aaaand...... done! Now don’t touch it or it’ll smear!”

“Wow, that looks great! You’re really good at this!”

“Thanks, dad- you smeared it already didn’t you?”

“....Nope.”

Fatgum: I'm not gonna do it, it just seemed like a good option. 

Fatgum not even two seconds later after seeing a trans kid crying: now carrying said child on his shoulders while his spouse is chuckling in a corner after signing adoption papers I did it.

This man would get his kids almost anything they wanted. Especially kids with ADD/ADHD/Autism/Tourettes/Anxiety who need stim toys.

Kid: chewing on their nails.

Fatgum: here take this stim toy, and this one, you chew this one so that might help-

Kid ends up with more stim toys than they can count.

Fatgum: just doing his job 

The Daddy Issues Gang: Hi dad- oh shit wait- Hi- I- fuck- trauma ensues. crying

Fatgum: grabs the daddy issues gang we're going to the nearest courtroom say hello to your new father its me im the father ok lets go.

Kid: um, dad can I talk to you? 

 Fatgum, turning around quickly: yes? 

 Me: ‘he moved so quick, he's mad at me, I'm gonna get yelled at’ Sorry, sorry! 

Fatgum: uh, no. I'm getting you ice cream and a new stuffed animal no questions asked

He'd just know when something's wrong, and he’d be great at comforting.

His usual style of comfort is to let the kid sit on his stomach and tell him what’s wrong. His body is one giant pillow for his kids to lay on, he can fit at least eight of them if they cuddle in closely.

Once filmed a commercial dressed as the Cool-Aid man, and all of his kids were in the commercial.

Fatgum: Busts down wall  “OH YEAH!”

Director: “And CUT! Okay, try a little more aggressive-”

Fatgum, in tears: “I don’t wanna scare my kids.”

As stated before, if anyone makes his kids feel bad he’s punching them to the ground, but sometimes he’s not in a position where he can do that. Like if a Karen mom ever comes over.

"Linda stop bringing lemon squares if you're going to talk about my son that way because they're just as sour as your attitude."

Fatgum but he slaps the toxic members of your family and tells them to do better or he's taking you.

Then takes you anyway because you prefer him.

Fatgum with a sweater that says ‘mr dad guy on it’

Fatgum definitely watches ATLA, and quotes Uncle Iroh daily. When his kids are minding their own business they suddenly hear

“Leaves from the vine... falling so slow...” 

INAUDIBLE CHAOS AND PANIC

Fatgum agency cosplayed ATLA characters on Halloween.

Fatgum was Iroh.

Kirishima was Sokka.

Tamaki was either Momo or Appa.

Maybe get a couple others in on it too, Mirio could be Aang and if Kirishima convinces Todoroki to join for a while he’d totally be Zuko.

Fatgum lets his kids squish his face.

Fatgum used to work with a hero who was hard of hearing, so he learned sign language to help them, and he’s got the skill saved in case one of his kids might be deaf.

So one day, Kirishima invites Bakugou on patrol with him, and we all love that headcanon of Bakugou going deaf, so when he gets pissed at something, he starts insulting everyone around him in SL.

Fatgum notices and starts signing back to him.

YOU’RE ALL MOTHERFUCKERS AND I HATE YOU ALL!

Hey, now, let’s calm down and not call everyone motherfuckers.

FUCK YOU TOO

Bakugou...

Everyone thinks that they’re doing magic, because they’re making all these shapes with their hands and keep looking offended at each other.

Now, Fatgum tries his gosh darn hardest to keep up with the memes, so when his kids come home with good grades, he says “That’s so pog, Kiddo!”

All of his kids are embarrassed.

In the middle of a battle, he throws Kirishima at a villain and they both scream “YEET!” the villain afterwords forever lives in fear of the word ‘yeet’ because he thinks it’ll result in a human rock being thrown at his face.

Fatgum can’t text very well, because his fingers are just too damn big-

sonhsisntextsblooklikehthis'

Translation: so his texts look like this

you learn to understand his texts

Someone better get him a large tablet instead of a phone

If he gets married after he adopts the kids, there’s going to be a huge competition over who does the rings and who does the flowers etc.

If any of his kid’s ever bring home a romantic partner, you can bet your ass he’ll be all over them.

“What’s your average grade?”

“E-eighty percent sir!”

“And do you take sports?”

“No sir, I wish to be a biologist.”

“I see, I see...”

“DAD, YOU AREN”T INTERVIEWING MY PARTNER, ARE YOU? YOU SCARED OFF THE LAST THREE I DON’T WANNA DEAL WITH THAT AGAIN!”

“SORRY, KIDDO! I’LL LET THEM GO NOW! I’ve got my fucking eyes on you. Don’t screw this up.”

Hope y’all enjoy this, if y’all want I can write some headcanons for if Fatgum’s kid becomes a villain-

[anne-white-star]

Band queen x autistic/anxious!reader : no worries

Notes : reader gets overwelmed during a queen concert and Freddie takes notice of that during the performance reader has a combination of anxiety and autism and gets overwelmed a lot. Takes place at Hyde Park (1976). Please excuse me for any inaccuracies. The songs that were sung at the concert back in 1976 are noted as wel . I wright this as somone with autism and how it afects me from time to time

I also have dyslexia so im trying my best to write as corectly as posible

Words : 1240

Warnings: cursing

"Come on Alice tell me where we are going its 6 am in the morning and honestly im tired"

"No y/n that will ruin the suprise"

"But i don't like surprises you know that, it makes me stand on edge"

"It be fine i promice im here alright"

*sigh* "fine just bring me there safely first"

Alice giggled "dont worry y/n we get there savely"

About an hour later y/n and Alice arived at their destination

"NO fucking way are you serious!!" Y/n turned around to face her best friend "Hyde Park for real?!"

"Now calm down y/n please" she grind

"Are we seriously going to see queen?!"

"Yes 100% dear"

"Omg please don't tell me its a dream "

"Its not I also got us special tickets"

"You din't have to"

"But i wanted to we have been best friends for years and you helped me trough a lot of stuff and now i want to do something for you"

"Thank you" she huged Alice

"Its nothig, now come on lets go we are extremly early and i want to try and get to the front"

"Alright lets go"

That same afternoon everything was pact a lot of people came to see queen and y/n started to get nervous

"Hey are you alright y/n?"

"Um yeah a bit just nervous there are a lot of people and you know how i am with crowds"

"Im next to you alright don't worry"

She gave a nervous laugh "easy for you said than done dear"

"Did you take your meds this morning?"

"Oh shit i forgot that"

"It won't be bad will it?"

"Its suposed to help reduce incoming stimulus"

"Oh i get it now, good thing that we are in the front so that if you get overwelmed we can get out of here alright?"

She gave a nod "Alright now lets enjoy the concert they are going to start in 30 minuts"

About 30 minuts later the guys came on stage, John had his bass Brian his guitar roger sat behind his drums and Freddie stood in the middel of the stage dressed in a white outfit he looked absolutly amazing in it and so did the others.

The first tunes of Brian his guitar rang trough the air, a day at the races next up came bohemain rhapsody y/n sang along with the song as best as she could.

When the 7th song was played you're my best friend tears sprang in y/n her eyes and she started to cry softly, Freddie looked acros the crowd when his eyes fell on her and he stoped singing and people groaned in anoiance.

"Excuse me miss" he crouched down infront of her on the stage "are you alright dear?"

She gasped "Oh y.. Yes im sorry please do continue don't be bothered by me"

" Alright " he wisspred he stood up again "Sorry lovelys lets continue"

Once the song 39 was playing y/n grabed Alice her hand and sang along with Brian and Freddie

🎶Don't you hear my call though you're many years away

Don't you hear me calling you

Write your letters in the sand for the day I take your hand

In the land that our grandchildren knew🎶

🎶Don't you hear my call though you're many years away

Don't you hear me calling you

All your letters in the sand cannot heal me like your hand

For my life

Still ahead

Pity me🎶

Once the song was over people cheerd

"Omg Alice im so happy you took me here this is amazing"

"Its really nothig dear, and i still can't believe Freddie noticed you"

"Yeah me neiter"

The last song was in the lap of the gods Revisited so it ment the concert was comming to an end

🎶It's in the lap of the Gods

Whoa, whoa, la-la-la, whoa

I can see what you want me to be

But I'm no fool

It's in the lap of the Gods🎶

🎶Whoa, whoa, la-la-la, whoa

Whoa, whoa, la-la, wah, wah, ooh

But that's not true

It's in the lap of the Gods

Whoa, whoa, la-la-la, whoa

Whoa, whoa, la-la, wah, wah, ooh

But I'm no fool

It's in the lap of the Gods

Whoa, whoa, la-la-la, whoa

Whoa, whoa, la-la, wah, wah, ooh

It's in the lap of the Gods

Whoa, whoa, la-la-la, whoa

Whoa, whoa, la-la, wah, wah, ooh

But I'm no fool

It's in the lap of the Gods

Whoa, whoa, la-la-la, whoa

Whoa, whoa, la-la, wah, wah, ooh🎶

The last notes rang out and when it was over people cheerd, Freddie once again stood in the middel of the stage and bowed and so did the others

"Thank you all for coming my dears have a wonderfull evening" (No idea if he did an outro just wanted to Wright that)

"I have an other suprise for you"

"Oh please Alice stop" She laught

"Alright i'll tell you what it is, its VIP tickets for backstage"

"No fucking way are you serious?! First a queen concert and then an VIP ticket to get backstage" she huged Alice "thank you so mutch i cant thank you enough"

"Its really nothing"

"Is there Anyway i can repay you"

"Just your friendship is enough, now come one lets go"

Once they arived the bouncer stood infront of a door "tickets please?"

"Here they are" Alice gave the man the tickets

"Everything seems in order, you may enter"

"Im so nervous"

"Dont worry it be fine im not going to leave you alone"

"I know"

"Y/n look thats Brian may"

"Omg hes even taller up close"

"Hello ladys welcome backstage I hope you enjoyed the concert"

"Oh yes we really did"

"Hello lovelys" y/n turned to the voice, it was Freddie Mercury

"Hi"

"You are the girl in the front who started to cry, is everything alright?"

"Oh yes am doing fine now, i forgot my meds today and thats why i started to cry i just was really anxious"

"Wel you made it through the concert" Freddie pulled her in for a big hug " now come you must be hungry you and your friend have been here very long i asume " Freddie gestured to a large couch "you two already met Brian, this is roger and John but you already know that " he laught " now please sit down"

"Well hello beautyfull"

"Roger no flirting they are guests"

"Hey you are that girl Freddie stoped for"

"That i am yes John" she smiled shyly

"Everything alright I hope?"

"Oh yes i am"

About an hour or so later y/n and Alice started to make them self ready to go home

"Y/n?"

"Yes Freddie?"

"I was wondering if i could get your number? I'll be giving a party in a few weeks and i want you and your friend Alice to come by"

"Oh sure here it is" she grabed a pen and a piece of paper "is it alright if i ask yours in return?"

"No not at al here"

"Thank you all so mutch this was an amazing experience "

"Glad you did dear, have a save drive home, i'll call you later"

"Alright," she huged him goodbye and waved to the others

"I can't beliefe it we met queen aaahhh" she gave a tiny yell of happiness

"Cant believe it eiter, now lets go home its an other hour driving"

"Alright lets go"

The end

I hope you enjoyed reading😊 please let me know what you think

[parrlyn-4life]

The Girl Who Spoke French: Part 1

(A few parts of this are inspired by @moan-jeutas and their series, “We’re Just Human.” I really recommend that you guys read it because I’ve been reading it on repeat all day-)

TW: Mentions of disabilities & mental illnesses, swearing

“It’s raining again?!?” Screamed Anna of Cleves. Cathy Parr looked at her.

“Yep,” Cathy said. Jane Seymour walked away over.

“The news said that the storms might go on all week!” Jane said. Anna’s jaw dropped.

“You’re kidding,” Anna said. Jane shook her head. “It’s Tuesday! We should be outside, having a picnic! Not inside!” Anna screamed. Jane and Cathy nodded.

“Will you keep it down? I’m trying to read!” Screamed a voice. The trio turned their heads to see Catherine of Aragon, holding a book called, “A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Bad Beginning.” Cathy had introduced the series to Aragon and now she absolutely loves it. This was the third time Aragon was starting the series all over again.

“Sorry, Lina!” Jane screamed. Aragon just went back to reading. “Gosh, she’s really into that series, isn’t she?” Jane said.

“I regret showing it to her now,” Cathy said, face-palming.

“Well, at least she’s not talking about religion anymore,” Anna said. Cathy and Jane laughed.

“Hey guys, where are the cookies?” A new voice asked.

“Kitty, we told you this already! No cookies before lunch!” Jane said.

“We literally just had breakfast, mum! It’s 12:18!” Katherine Howard said. Jane looked at the time.

“Oh. Well, you can eat four cookies, Kitty, but that’s it, ok?” Jane said. Kitty smiled.

“Thanks, mum!” Kitty said before rushing into the kitchen. Jane laughed. 

“The party has arrived!” a voice screamed as the front door opened. Then walked in four more women: Elizabeth (Bessie) Blount, Margaret (Maggie) Lee, Joan Meutas, and Maria de Salinas. Three of them were ladies in waiting for three queens in the room. One hasn’t seen the queen she served yet.

“How’s it like out- Oh,” Jane said before turning around and seeing that the women were soaking wet, even with raincoats on.

“This sucks,” Maggie said, hanging her raincoat on the coat stand. 

“What in the world happened to you guys?” Cathy asked.

“The storm happened,” Bessie said, hanging her raincoat as well. 

“Thought it was just gonna be rainfall. We were wrong,” Maria said. Joan nodded.

“You guys must be cold. I’ll go make some tea for you four,” Jane said, getting up.

“Uh, Jane?” Aragon said, looking out the window.

“Yeah?” Jane asked.

“You better make an extra cup because I think someone’s trying to get through the storm!” Aragon said as she watched a cloaked figure walking through the rough storm. Jane walked over to the window and saw the same thing.

“Oh my! Should someone go get them?” Jane asked.

“I’ll go. I didn’t take off my raincoat anyways,” Joan said, opening the front door and walked back outside. The others got up and watched as Joan went to get the person, who kept slipping and falling down. Joan took their hand and lead them back into the house. Kitty opened the door for them and Joan quickly ran back inside with the person. She took off her raincoat, revealing her wet hair and wet clothing.

“You must be soaking wet! Walking in a storm like that!” Cathy said. The person said nothing.

“Who is it?” Anna asked, getting curious. The person took off their over-sized raincoat to reveal a woman some of the queens and ladies in waiting have met before.

“Anne!” Maggie screamed. Anne looked at her.

“Maggie! Où suis-je?” Anne asked, looking around at the environment. The others were confused.

“What’s she saying?” Bessie asked.

“It’s... French! Anne taught me French so I understand a little bit of it!” Maggie said. “She asked ‘Where am I?’”

“Does she know she’s been reincarnated?” Aragon asked.

“Anne, tu sais que tu as été réincarné, non?” Maggie asked the French woman.

“Oui,” Anne said, nodding.

“Pourquoi tu marchais dans la tempête?” Maggie asked.

“Un ange m'a dit de te chercher,” Anne said. Maggie nodded in response. “Je pense que son nom était Timothy?” She continued to say.

“What’s she saying?” Kitty asked.

“She’s saying that an angel named Timothy told her to find me,” Maggie said.

“Wait, don’t we know Timothy?” Aragon asked.

“You’re right! He’s the one who brought Anna, right?” Jane asked. Aragon nodded.

“I’ll go give him a call,” Aragon said, walking over to a table and sitting down, pulling out her phone. She went into her contacts and pressed the name ‘Timothy.’

“Lina?” Timothy asked as he picked up.

“Tim! I was wondering if you know a woman by the name of Anne Boleyn?” Aragon asked.

“Yeah! Why?” He asked.

“Because Joan just went out to get a person who was walking in the storm and that person was Anne,” Aragon said.

“It’s still raining out there?” Timothy asked.

“Yep,” Aragon said. “But why is she here now? Wasn’t she dead before the others?” She asked.

“Well, it’s a long story. Are you willing to hear this?” He asked. Aragon thought for a moment.

“Yes,” Aragon said.

“Well, yes, Anne was dead before the others but she was hard to teach about the new things in the reincarnation. It took her a whole 3 months just to learn how to use a phone!” Timothy said. Aragon laughed slightly. “Anyways, my angel pals and I gave her translated tests to see if she has any disabilities or mental illnesses,” Timothy said. That’s when Aragon started to worry.

“What were the results?” Aragon asked in a concerned tone.

“Well, she got high scores on depression, anxiety, PTSD, and intellectual tests. We ran a couple of scenarios for each situation and....” Timothy trailed off.

“What?” Aragon said, fear and worry coating her voice.

“She has all four of those... When we gave her an autism spectrum disorder test, we were stumped. She reacted to touch, sound, and pain for a few minutes but then she stopped. Then she started up again, which is why we took so long to send her to the reincarnated world. It was like, one minute the senses were stronger and the next the senses just went back to normal,” Timothy said. Aragon’s jaw dropped.

“What does it mean then?” She asked, sounding like she was about to cry.

“We’re still trying to figure that out,” Timothy said. She let a single tear roll down her cheek. “Lina, are you... Crying?” He asked.

“No,” Aragon lied. She quickly wiped the tears away from her face.

“Wait, does anyone there know French?” Timothy asked.

“Maggie’s speaking to her right now,” Aragon said.

“Perfect! Also, I gave Anne a note to give to Maggie. Can you see if she has it?” Timothy asked. Aragon turned her head.

“Maggie, Timothy said that Anne has a note to give to you. Do you have it?” Aragon asked. Maggie shook her head.

“Anne, Catherine dit que tu as quelque chose à me donner,” Maggie said. Anne thought for a moment before reaching into her pocket and pulling out a folded piece of paper, handing it to Maggie. Maggie gave Aragon the thumbs up.

“Now she gave it to her,” She said, turning back to the phone.

“Ok! Well, I have to go. We’re training a new arrival right now,” Timothy said before hanging up. Catherine put her phone down and just sat at the table, staring straight ahead. What the fuck was going on with the French woman?

“Lina? You ok?” Jane asked, walking over to the table. Catherine looked at her.

“Tim told me the reason they’ve kept Anne so long,” Catherine said in a sad tone.

“Wait, can you give me a minute? I’m going to give them their tea,” Jane said, placing a tray with ten cups, placing one next to Catherine and another where she sat. Catherine nodded and Jane got up, carrying the tray over to the others. “Drink up now, guys. We might be here a while,” Jane said, placing the tray on the coffee table. Everyone reached out for a cup of tea, all of them getting one.

“Merci, Jane,” Anne said, giving her a small smile. Jane gave her a small smile back before walking back over to Catherine.

“So, what happened? Why’d they keep her so long?” Jane asked as she sat down. Catherine sighed and started to tell Jane what Timothy had told her. In the end, Jane started to cry as well. “Oh my gosh,” was all she had to say.

“I know,” Catherine said, wiping away her new tears. “I feel bad for her too,” she said.

“What do we do now? I mean, where is she going to stay?” Jane asked.

“I think she can stay with us. I mean, you and Cathy share a room, as well as Kat and Anna. It’s not fair for me to be the only one without a roommate,” Catherine said. Jane thought for a moment.

“Maybe,” Jane said. “But how are we going to speak to her?” She asked.

“I found a translation app that was free the other day... Maybe we could try that?” Catherine asked. (Ok, in my mind, this is a perfect Utopia and every app in the App Store is free and you don’t pay for anything. Even to get rid of ads-)

“I think that could work!” Jane said, smiling through her tears.

“Are you guys ok? Why are you crying?” Joan asked from the living room.

“We’ll tell you later,” Jane said, laughing while wiping away her tears. Joan just looked at her.

“Ok?” Joan said, confused. Catherine and Jane laughed. They both looked over and saw that everyone was trying to talk to Anne but Maggie just ended up translating everything. Catherine smiled at the scene she was looking at.

“Do we ask her now or later?” Jane asked. Catherine thought for a moment.

“Later,” Catherine said, looking at Jane. Jane nodded and continued to drink her tea.

___________________________________________________

FINALLY, I’M DONE WITH THE FIRST CHAPTER!!!

Tag List:

@radcowboyalmondtree

@toomanyfamdom

@sweetestrequiems

@the10amongstthese3s (If they are reading this, hi! I was the anon who told you that I was writing something sort of sad and asked if you wanted me to tag you-)

[thegalaxysyst3m]

Human Flaws Chapter 5

Chapter 6. Chapter 5. Chapter 4. Chapter 3. Chapter 2. Chapter 1.

     When the twins were younger, Remus had found Roman a font that helped combat his dyslexia at the start of middle school. Ever since then, Roman used it for everything he could. The only issue was that the books in the library did not use the font he could actually read. They all used that crappy Times font that he had to read over and over to understand.

       So as he got into his English class, and decoded the board, he visibly cringed; They were reading Erapon in class today. It was a book by a guy called Paolini and Roman hadn't liked it so far. Maybe he just hadn't gotten to the good part yet.

      That was probably it; seen as he hadn't gotten past the second page. So he tried to listen to his English teacher as she spoke, "By now you all should be up to page ten of Christopher Paolini's Eragon," She held up a copy of the book, the name printed in all caps.

     Roman looked at the board and then at the book. Then once more. It was called Eragon, not Erapon. It at least made a bit more sense than when he had first read it.

      Mrs. Williams continued, " If you're not up to or past that point then I suggest you catch up during your free time in class. However, before you do that, you all need to get these definitions copied for the next few chapters." She handed everyone a list of words. 

The words were as followed: Taciturn, Countenance, Troubadour, Flagon, Florid, Requiem, Bereft, and a few others that Roman struggled to read. So he got out a dictionary from the bookshelf and started flipping through it. 

     This was going to take him a while.

--------

      At the rate he was going, Roman would have to finish some of the definitions for homework. Perhaps he could ask Remus to help him after school. All of this would have to wait, however, because Mrs. Williams asked him to wait after class to chat. Anybody in Mrs. Williams' class knew that "chat" was never a good term to hear her say to you. Roman felt right to assume this would be about how he hadn't even finished his definitions.

     However, as she walked up to him, she sat down and handed him a sheet of paper. He took it, awaiting some sort of reprimands from her, only to hear, "It's a permission form to get an audio book from the library. All you have to do is hand it to somebody at the front desk and ask them for a copy of the book for class. They should be able to find you one." 

     He nodded, putting the paper in his pocket, and grabbing his things. She smiled- which was quite an odd thing to see from her- and hands him a drawn map of how to get to the library. He was bound to appreciate that on his way there. He wasn't good with remembering verbal directions. So he gratefully took the map and thanked her as he headed on his way, giving her a sincere thank you as he passed the door.

       Roman started walking, looking at the map as he went. He really should have how to get to the library memorized by this point. Yet, he still needed directions for it every time. Hell, when he went to the library with Remus for tutoring, his twin had to get them there- and Remus wasn't all that good with directions either. It was like a wild goose chase to find the library. Except the library had never been running, it was just two idiots who had no idea where they were going.

     He looked back at the map; First he needed to take left, and then he needed to go down the stairs, then take a right, then another right once he was next the spiral staircase, and finally he would be at the library doors.

     As he got to the turning point he was glad he had a drawn map rather than not-so-simple words on a page. It saved him an awful lot of trouble. Maybe he should just keep the map for the next time he needed to get to the library. It seemed like a good idea.

      He continued like this for a couple minutes before he reached the doors of the library.

     Roman walked in, taking in the smell of old books sitting on the shelves as he went. He never hated reading, he just got.... bored with it. It took him a long time to read things and it made it difficult to get sucked into the books like he wanted. Roman still thought he'd give anything to not have his Dyslexia. He always had and he always stayed that way. He didn't think he'd be changing his mind any time soon. 

     He got himself out of his thoughts and went up to the main desk, "I wanted to know if you had an audio book for Eragon?" He handed the librarian, Joan, the slip of paper out of his backpack. Joan looked at the sheet and then back at Roman, "Can I have your name please?"

     Roman looked at the permission slip. Surely it had his name on there somewhere. He sighed, Yeah, that's easy; Really Obviously Muscular And Nice. R. O. M. A. N."

      Joan smiled a bit and started typing in the computer. Then they frowned after a couple seconds. "Tsk. Sorry Ro, we don't have an audio copy for Eragon in here yet. However if you want, I'm sure somebody here would be willing to read it to you. If you don't mind me asking, how's your tutoring going? Is Logan helping any?"

      Roman nodded. Logan seemed like he could be very helpful- that is- if Roman would stop getting distracted by him. Roman was about to say he was going to go look around the library for some other books when he heard him talking behind him. Speak of the devil. Of course that would be his luck. Why wouldn't nerdy wolverine show up in the library.

       Roman looked back at Logan behind him and politely move out of the way. However. Joan seemed to have other plans. They seemed to smirk at Roman as they spoke, "Hey Logan! What are you reading this time? Have you tried Paolini yet?" Logan looked at his hands, lost in thought for a moment. Then he shook his head, looking at everything but Joan the Librarian. He caught eyes with Roman as Joan lit up with an idea, saying, "If you'd be interested, Roman here is reading a book by Paolini in his English class and he thought you might like it. Eragon specifically; Maybe you could read it together?" 

      Logan looked at Roman's jacket this time, not one to look people head on. Then he nodded. Already walking ahead and searching to find the specific book in the library. He looked back at Roman momentarily looking him in the eyes and then motioned for him to follow him as he searched. Roman tried to think of where it would be as he looked.

     Both boys knew the library was organized alphabetically and then by last name. The farther shelves were letters further down the line from A. On the walls were nonfiction and educational writings and the shelves in the middle of the room were all nonfiction of some kind. So Paolini would be farther to the back of the room on the center bookshelves. So that's where Roman looked while Logan leisurely walked the isles, scanning the letters.

     So when Roman found it first Logan looked a bit shocked as he went to go sit with the brown eyed boy. He sat down nonetheless at the table and Roman got out his own copy from the classroom. Logan looked at the first page, scanning over it before looking back at Roman. He was trying to do the same, but he looked so frustrated just from a single page. Logan hadn't thought it was that bad. Maybe Roman just wasn't a fan of his writing? He looked at him again, trying to figure out the emotion on his face. Roman had gotten out a reading ruler and was silently voicing out the words he was trying to read. Logan tried to find where he was reading. Roman was flipping around his letters and it sounded like he was flipping some words entirely. Logan looked again at Roman, "I can read it out loud for both of us if you would like, Roman." Logan didn't want to upset him though so he didn't say anything else. He knew what if felt like to feel less than. Many kids thought of him as weird. Odd. A freak.

      But none of that was true. He wasn't any of those things. And even if other people did, Logan didn't want to get rid of his Autism at all. It made him who he was and sometimes he wasn't sure what life would be like without it. So he was not going make Roman feel that way for his Dyslexia no matter what. So as Roman nodded with a defeated sigh, Logan only smiled at him, making note of an idea in his head for later.

Taglist: @shootysturs @punsparcethesnake @wishthefish916

[joaquinbumblebee24]

Onslaught 2/11

It was a beautiful June day, House was riding his motorcycle around the university.  He was thinking through everything that would probably go wrong in the Philippines, what if there was a typhoon?  During his time in the country, there have been three significant storms, one of which was called Monang. He had recalled the thunder;  lightning and the wind.

House hated the wind most; he hated the electric fans at home. Wilson had a fan in the study that he hated. The sound of it and how the fan felt was greeting on his nerves.

He parked the motorcycle at a park near PPTH. The team had no case. It was a frustrating day After Cuddy had browbeaten him into working the clinic.  House was sent plenty of mothers and their kids. The crying got to his nerves; he told a parent that his son wasn’t dying rather unkindly.  Cuddy was called;  she had reprimanded him for being callus in front of the father. As he stormed out of the exam room, Cuddy’s words echoed. “He can’t control himself.”

“Control yourself, Rory.” His mother’s voice played in his ears. House slammed that thought out of his mind. The fact was he couldn't change the fact that he was autistic, even if he wanted to.

“Penny for your thoughts?” House was startled by Wilson’s words. He turned around. “I heard about the incident in the clinic; You alright?” Wilson’s voice resonated in House’s ear.

He sometimes hated that he and Wilson had been best friends before turning their relationship romantic. Wilson knew him very well. House nodded. “It wasn’t fair.” He knew he sounded childish, however, he didn’t care.

“I know.” Wilson just smiled. “So you ran from the hospital to the apartment,  got your bike, rode it.”

“Yes, did Cuddy called you?”

Wilson shook his head.  "No, I heard it from Brenda the clinic nurse.”

“Am I a bad person to say that I want something to go wrong in the Philippines so that I could help?” House asked.

The constant pressure on House to be somewhat normal was taking a toll on him. “We could do Doctors without Borders if you want.”

“You're missing my point, Jimmy.” Said House as he faced Wilson now. “I wished for a distraction, not to create one.”

“Well, yeah. I know what you mean.” Wilson said. “Back to the hospital, or you want to go eat out?”

“Eat out, definitely.”

They loaded the bike to their SUV, It was a Volvo bought by Wilson for its safety features. House thought that it was a boring car.

They headed to dinner at a small pub outside of Princeton. It was an LGBT bar, which was own and operated by Dylan Crandall, House’s friend. They ordered the usual, House loved their Rubin sandwiches, for he could order it dry without pickles. He’d been a picky eater all his life.

“Where’s Dylan?” House asked a waiter.

The waiter sighed. “Crandall is out picking Leona from NYU.”  

House resumed eating his sandwich. Meanwhile, Wilson ordered BLT. He was aware that Wilson was watching him. “What?”

“Is it just me or you looked handsome today; In your gray jeans and a rolling stones shirt? ” Wilson said, as he looked House over.

House rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I know, you like objectifying your spouse.” They ate the rest of their meal in comfortable silence. After dinner, they shared coffee crumble cake.

House wondered outside; while Wilson paid the bill. The diagnostician was deep in thought;  as the parking lot of Crandall’s.

Wilson halted his pace. “Greg? You alright?” Wilson knew not to worry about the pacing, it’s just stimming. House nodded, Wilson led him in their car.

Once in the comfort of the car, Wilson asked. What’s on your mind, You know you’re a bit distracted?”

House wanted to lie, but Wilson would deduce it out of him. “I overheard Cameron and Hadley talking about my birthday. Wilson could certainly guest the meaning of that statement. “Don’t talk to them. it’s my business, not yours.” Wilson nodded.

They drove back, while they were in the car headed home Wilson asked, “So, what do you want to do on your birthday?”

House sighed, “Monster jam. Then dinner and drinks with you.”

“Of course, your wish is my command,” Wilson said sardonically. He called. ‘Siri’ the car's assistant. “Are there any monster jam shows near Princeton on the eleventh?” House smiled. Siri answered with an affirmative. In Trenton, five o’clock. Wilson booked two tickets.

House didn’t like surprises because he knew needed for what to expect. Wilson always asked him what he wanted to do on his birthday or what he wanted for Christmas.

They arrived home. As soon as House was inside, he kicked his Nike’s AirMax 90’s and went to his piano. While Wilson went to the study to work on House’s infectious disease speech.

***

The next morning while Wilson was working on paperwork, n there was a knock on the door. It was Cameron and Hadley. Wilson had the urge to roll his eyes.

“Dr. Wilson?” Cameron said.

“What can I do for you, lovely ladies?” Wilson said sardonically.

Cameron looked at Hadley, urging her to speak.  “Its House’s birthday next week,” Hadley said. “And we want to surprise him.”

The woman looked at him strangely. “Why?” Hadley asked.

Wilson sighed again. “He doesn’t like surprises.” Cameron quirked an eyebrow. “Don’t go behind his back,” Wilson warned.

Wilson quirked a brow. “Who are ‘we’?”

It was Cameron who said. “Just the two of us, Foreman doesn’t want to be bothered, and Chase said no right away.”

Wilson sighed. Chase knew that House was autistic; House had informed him because he had a meltdown in front of Chase that first year. He told Chase that House hated birthdays. “Please, don’t bother him, girls.”

The women looked at him strangely. “Why?” Hadley asked.

Wilson sighed again. “He doesn’t like surprises.” Cameron quirked an eyebrow. “Don’t go behind his back,” Wilson warned.

“I don’t understand, Dr. Wilson; House hated surprises?” Cameron asked, fishing now.

Wilson peered the outside his office into House’s. “Cameron—“ He halted when he saw House. Cameron and Hadley peaked at the balcony door. House was pacing and muttering on his side of the balcony. “Cameron, Please, don’t surprise him, now shoo.”

The moment Cameron and Hadley left, Wilson went outside to speak with his partner. “Greg? Everything alright?” Wilson asked, preventing House’s pace. House halted; he fished out a paper from his pocket. “Clinic schedule?”

House nodded. “Yeah, Cuddy came earlier, telling me since I would be leaving in a week and a half, I should just work in the clinic. Yeah, that would work.” The last part was said with his bitter sarcasm.

Wilson knew how much House hated the clinic, and his apprehension wasn’t because it was boring. His spouse was reminded of how inadequate he was when dealing with people. “Well, what do you want to do?”

House sighed. “You know, I hate clinic duty, help me with it, Jimmy.”

Wilson smiled. “Yeah, I’ll talk with Cuddy. You have a case?” House nodded.

*** On the eleventh, Wilson woke House up with his guitar, “Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy birthday, dear Greg. Happy birthday to you.” He sang and played the familiar song of greeting.

This was not a surprise for House, who the past 10 years of being together, and six years of marriage;  Wilson always did that for him. “Thank you.” He said automatically.

“I got you something,” Wilson said, handing House a package wrap in blue wrapping paper. “Well, I brought you that cause you might want to play; ��while we were on the road.”

House opened the present with gusto. As soon as the gift was opened, he smiled. It was a Martin LX1 travel-size acoustic guitar. “Thank you, Jimmy. I love it, really.” His smile touched his blue eyes.

For someone who hated surprises, the genuine smile was huge. “I made you, your favorite food macadamia nut pancake, go to the breakfast bar before you play your new toy.”

House nodded and left their bedroom with his guitar on his left hand. He sat opposite Wilson on the breakfast bar, they ate in contented silence. After the meal, they went shower.

Wilson had an appointment today in another hospital. Afterward, he and House would be going to Trenton to watch a monster truck rally and dinner at Rafael’s; House’s favorite sit down place.

Wilson drove House to work.

*** House went to his office; after Wilson drop him off at the main entryway to the hospital. He stood near the edge of Wilson and his office’s. Cameron and Hadley were discussing inside; There was a medium-sized box, on top was a chocolate cake.  He finally entered his office.

As soon as he was inside, the two ladies got to their feet and began singing the birthday song. House nearly put his hand in his ear.  The sound greeted on his nerves, like nails in a chalkboard. Unlike Wilson’s tone,  gentle and soothing,  theirs was a little high pitch.

He didn’t saw Chase entered. “Stop it, guys!” He heard Chase yelled, “Look at him. You’re overwhelming him.”

Cameron and Hadley looked at Chase and at House. “What do you know?” Cameron asked, looking at House.

Chase started to speak, however, House had beaten him to it. “I have a sensory processing disorder.” “SPD?” Cameron asked. “That condition is associated with Autism.” House practically saw as the cogs turned in her head.

House ran from his office to the clinic to accomplish his duties, four hours in hell. He texted Wilson. ‘Cameron’s brilliant idea pushed through; I thought you  informed them.’

Then his phone rang,  It was his father. He should turn off his phone. The patient a four-year-old kid with pink eye asked, “Dr. Greg, what’s wrong?”

He loved working with children when the parent wasn’t being insufferable idiots; thinking that their child had ebola if they have simple flu. He answered matter of factly. “My father is bugging me.” His tone invited no questions.

After spending his time in the clinic House went up to his office. A package was laying on his desk. “To House, from Robert Chase,’ it read. House opened it. It was a yoyo, fidget cube and a weighted blanket. He smiled a bit. He won’t thank Chase,  not his style, but he could buy him a lollipop.

At five Wilson entered House’s office. “Hi,” Wilson said shyly.

“Oh, hi,” House said putting his things in his blue backpack; and changing from his lab coat into his jean jacket. “Let’s go!” He said walking to Wilson and giving his spouse a kiss on the lips. “How was your day?” House asked while they walked to their car.

“Boring.”

They headed to watch the monster truck show. While there, Wilson watched House; he looked happy, peaceful even. When his favorite truck came, Gravedigger; House almost squealed in glee. Wilson smiled; He was happy to see Greg happy.

After the show, House and Wilson ate at Rafael’s.

End of Chapter 2

[the-desolated-quill]

Quill’s Swill - The Worst Of 2019

Congratulations! You’ve made it through another year! You’ve faced many obstacles and overcome many adversaries to arrive here, at the dawn of a new decade. So as we prepare to leave the 2010s and make our way into the 2020s, lets take a look back at the challenges and hardships of 2019. And by challenges and hardships, I of course mean shitty fiction and media.

Yes, it’s time for yet another edition of Quill’s Swill, where we mark the absolute worst stories that the industry had to offer over the past year and proceed to tear them to shreds. Think of it as like voiding your bowels before the New Year.

As always remember that this is my personal, subjective opinion. If you happen to like any of the things on this list, that’s fine. More power to you. Go make your own list. Also bear in mind I haven’t seen everything 2019 has to offer due to various other commitments. So as much as I really, really want to, I can’t put Avengers Endgame on here. I know what happens. It sounds fucking terrible, but I haven’t seen the film, so it wouldn’t be fair of me to put it on the list, even though it would most definitely deserve it.

...

Seriously, read the synopsis of Endgame on Wikipedia some time. It’s like fanfic written by a nine year old. It’s truly shocking. And now it’s the highest grossing movie of all time? Give me strength.

All In A Row

Don’t you just hate it when you’re expected to parent your autistic child? Like actually show love and care and consideration to your offspring. Look at him, expecting you to treat him like a human being. Selfish bastard! If only there was a play that explored the horrors of having to be a decent person to your own flesh and blood and how objectively awful it is. If you’re one of those people, then the play All In A Row will be right up your street.

Premiering on the 14th February at Southwark Playhouse in London, All In A Row was a total shitshow to say the least. The playwright, Alex Oates, claimed to have ten years of experience working with autistic children, which you wouldn’t have believed if you saw the play as the autistic child at the centre of the play, Lawrence, seemed more like a wild animal than a person. In fact two of the main characters compare him to a dog. And if you thought this wasn’t dehumanising enough, Lawrence isn’t even a child. He’s a puppet. Yes, it’s as bad as it sounds.

All In A Row seems to place all of the blame for the family’s predicament on the autistic child, who’s presented as barely functional, bordering on bestial. There’s no effort to really make an emotional connection with Lawrence (how can you? He’s a puppet!) as the play instead focuses on how this kid has effectively ruined this family’s life because of his autism and aggressive behaviour. Speaking as someone on the autism spectrum, I can say quite confidently that this play is fucking despicable. Badly written, badly conceived, insulting and downright mean spirited. I wouldn’t want Oates looking after my autistic children, that’s for damn sure.

Anthem

EA is back and this time they’re dragging the critical darling that is BioWare down with them.

Anthem was a desperate attempt to jump aboard the ‘live service’ bandwagon, trying to replicate the success of other video games like Overwatch, Destiny and Warframe. They failed spectacularly. The game itself had more bugs than A Bug’s Life, loot drops were often stingy and unrewarding, loading times were farcically long, and the story and worldbuilding was fucking pitiful. Oh yeah, and if you played it on PS4, there was a good chance it could permanently damage it. Thankfully I have a uni friend with an Xbox One and they allowed me to play the game on that. It was a crushing disappointment, especially coming fresh off the heels of Mass Effect Andromeda, which didn’t exactly set the world on fire back in 2017.

It didn’t help that EA’s reputation was in tatters thanks to the lootbox controversy of Star Wars Battlefront II and having to try and win back the trust of fans, but worse still reports began to service of what went on behind the scenes at BioWare during the game’s development. Apparently the game’s story and mechanics kept changing every other day as the creative directors and writers didn’t have the faintest idea what kind of game they wanted to make, and the developers were often forced to work obscenely long work hours in abusive crunch periods to get the game finished for launch. It got so bad that, according to an article on Kotaku, some members of the team had to leave for weeks or even months at a time to recover from ‘stress casualties.’ 

To think this was the same company that gave us Mass Effect, Dragon Age and Knights Of The Old Republic. Thank God that Obsidian Entertainment is there to pick up the slack on the RPG front because I think it’s safe to assume that BioWare won’t be around for much longer at this rate.

The Lion King (2019 remake)

Here we go. Yet another live action remake of a Disney classic. Excpet it’s not live action, is it? Well... it’s live action in the sense that Dinosaur was live action (remember that film? Don’t worry if you don’t. No one does). Real locations but CGI characters. Millions of dollars spent on cutting edge tech to create photo realistic animals... and the film ends up duller than a bowl of porridge that really likes trainspotting.

It’s not just the fact that The Lion King remake is yet another soulless cash grab from the House of Mouse, it’s also the fact that it’s done really badly that upsets me. The Lion King works as an animated film. Bright colourful images, over the top song and dance sequences and vibrant character designs. As a ‘live action’ film, it just looks awkward and stilted. None of the animals are very expressive, leaving it up to the poor voice actors to carry the film, and to cap it all off the CGI isn’t even all that convincing in my opinion. At no point did I look at Simba and go ‘oh yeah, he looks like a real lion.’ It’s so obviously fake. In fact it reminds me of those early 00s movies like Cats & Dogs or Stuart Little where you see the jaws of the talking animals moving up and down like some messed up ventriloquist act or something. And here’s me thinking cinema has evolved past this.

BBC’s The War Of The Worlds

Remember Peter Harness? That guy who wrote that Doctor Who episode about the moon being an egg? Yeah, he’s back and he’s doing an adaptation of H.G. Wells’ War Of The Worlds. And guess what! It’s fucking ghastly! :D

The three part BBC mini-series was without a doubt some of the worst telly I think I’ve ever seen. It’s staggering how clueless Harness is as a writer. For starters he managed to achieve the impossible and somehow made a Martian invasion of Earth boring. I didn’t even think it was possible, but somehow he pulled it off. Then he sucks all tension out of the story by revealing the ultimate fate of the Martians at the beginning of the second episode, so now any threat or danger has been chucked out of the window because we know that the main female protagonist Amy at least would survive. And then finally he takes a massive dump over the source material by having humanity weaponise typhoid to kill the red weed rather than just having the Martians die of the common cold like in the book. Because God forbid us Brits should be presented as anything other than heroic and dignified.

So what we’re left with is a poorly realised allegory with ineffectual horror tropes full of OTT progressive posturing in a pathetic attempt to make Harness and the BBC look more liberal than they actually are. There’s no effort to really explore the themes of imperialism and colonialism outside of casual lip service, and we barely get a glimpse of the dark side of humanity. Everyone is presented as flawed, but basically awesome or, in the case of Rafe Spall’s character, utterly gormless. Our TV license fees help fund this shit, you know?!

And if you think this was bad, just wait till New Year’s Day where we’ll get to see Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss’ butcher Dracula. Can we stop giving these beloved literary icons to these hacks please?

Glass

I liked Split. It wasn’t an amazing movie, but it was entertaining with some good ideas, a great performance from James McAvoy and was a true return to form for M Night Shyamalan. That being said, I wasn’t keen on the idea of it taking place in the same universe as Unbreakable. I feared it would be a step too far and we’d end up having something like... well, something like Glass.

On paper, Glass isn’t a bad idea. The idea of superpowers being a delusion is legitimately intriguing and could have been a great post-modern deconstruction of the superhero genre. Except Shyamalan never actually does anything with it. The first act drags on and on with absolutely nothing happening, none of the characters really grow or change over the course of the film, Bruce Willis in particular is basically only here for an extended cameo as his character does pretty much nothing for the majority of the film, and then the entire film is undermined by that stupid Shyamalan twist. Turns out superhumans are real and there’s a big cover up. Oh great! So not only does it render the entire film pointless, it also undoes what made Unbreakable and Split so good. They’re no longer people capable of extraordinary feats via rational means. They’re just superhuman. They can do anything. Sigh.

Shyamalan... maybe it’s time to give up the director’s chair, yeah?

Cats

Oh come on! Don’t act surprised! Did you honestly think I wouldn’t put Cats on this list?!

Cats, without a doubt, is the worst film of the decade and, yes, the CGI is terrible. Not only are there these sub-human cat mutants running around, we also have mice and cockroaches with child faces, James Corden coughing up furballs, Taylor Swift trying to give the furries in the audience boners, Idris Elba looking disturbingly underdressed and Rebel Wilson being... well... Rebel Wilson. It’s a disaster of a film. And really, should we even be surprised? We all knew this was going to suck. And no it’s not because of the CGI. I thought the CGI in Pokemon: Detective Pikachu was creepy as well, but at least it had a decent script and good performances to back it up. No the reason why Cats sucked is because... it’s Cats. It’s always been that bad. No amount of ‘advanced fur technology’ was going to change that. It was still going to be a confused, plotless mess with one dimensional characters and bad songs.

The only consolation I had was that I didn’t waste money buying a ticket. A friend of mine snuck me into the premiere and we watched it in the projector room. The plan was to make fun of it and have a laugh, but we didn’t even do that because honestly there’s nothing to really make fun. There’s only so many times you can take the piss out of the CGI and honestly the film was just boring more than anything else. It doesn’t even have the distinction of being so bad it’s good like Sharknado or Tommy Wiseau’s The Room. It’s just bad, period.

I just hope we don’t see something similar happen to Starlight Express. Just think. Anthropomorphic, singing trains on roller skates. Shudder.

Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker

Finally we have yet another cynical cash grab from Disney.

I confess I didn’t exactly go into The Rise Of Skywalker with an open mind. I was never all that keen on a sequel trilogy in the first place, and neither The Force Awakens nor The Last Jedi ever convinced me otherwise. Admittedly they weren’t bad movies. Just derivative and painfully uninspired, and I was expecting more of the same for Episode IX. What I got instead was quite possibly the worst Star Wars film since Attack Of The Clones. Yes, it’s that bad.

This film is very poorly made, filled with plot contrivances and logic holes galore. I lost count of the number of times the protagonists got into a dangerous situation because of Rey constantly wandering off like a confused toddler lost in a shopping mall. Oh and we finally find out who her parents were and it was quite a twist, but only because it was really stupid. Of course we didn’t see it coming because nobody would have guessed it would be something that moronic. I feel JJ Abrams’ stupid ‘mystery box’ philosophy is to blame for this. It’s derailed countless franchises before such as Lost and Cloverfield, and now Abrams has fucked up Star Wars because he’s obsessed with mystery for the sake of mystery and Disney are so lazy that they couldn’t be bothered to plan an actual trilogy out properly beforehand. Instead they just wing it, making it up as they go along, which led to Rian Johnson ‘subverting our expectations’ and left Abrams desperately trying to pick up the pieces. 

In fact a lot of The Rise Of Skywalker seemed designed specifically to appease people of both sides of the wide chasm The Last Jedi had created. The roles of characters of colour like Finn and Rose were significantly reduced, Poe and Finn don’t end up together because of homophobia, but we do see two women kiss in the background of one two second shot that could easily be cut out when they release the film in China, Kylo Ren gets his stupid redemption even though he hasn’t fucking earned it, Lando Calrissian shows up for no fucking reason, Rey is given ‘flaws’ relating to her parentage in order to combat those accusing her of being a Mary Sue, but they’re the boring kind of flaws that don’t have any real impact on her character, and that ghastly ship Reylo is made canon even though it makes no sodding sense in the context of this movie, let alone the whole trilogy. They even go to the trouble of baiting us with a FinnRey romance before pulling the rug out from under us. Then, just to add insult to injury, the film retroactively ends up making the entire original trilogy completely pointless. All because Disney wanted more dollars to put in their Scrooge McDuck money bin.

The Rise Of Skywalker, and indeed the entire sequel trilogy, should serve as a cautionary tale against the dangers of hype and nostalgia. The reason The Force Awakens was successful wasn’t because it was a good movie (because lets be brutally honest here, it really fucking wasn’t). It was because it gave gullible Star Wars fans warm fuzzies because it reminded them of A New Hope whilst tempting them with the vague promise that things might get more interesting later on. And when that didn’t materialise, quelle surprise, the fanbase didn’t take it very well. I would love to think that this will serve as an important lesson for the future when people go and see Disney movies, but who am I kidding? I guarantee at some point we’re going to get Episodes X, XI and XII and we’ll have to go through this sorry process all over again.

So there we have it. The worst of 2019. May they rot forever in Satan’s rectum or wherever it is stories go to die. Tomorrow we’ll take a look at the other end of the spectrum. Yes it’s the Quill Seal Of Approval Awards! The best of the best! Who shall win? The suspense is killing me! Ooooh, I can’t wait! You’ll be there tomorrow, won’t you? Of course you will. How could you not?

[thinking-outside-the-giftbox18]

A Pill In Time: Chapter 0 - Introduction

Ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25747456/chapters/62524747

Wattpad link: https://www.wattpad.com/932662757-a-pill-in-time-ahit-psych-ward-au-chapter-0

Summary: An alternate universe where A Hat In Time [by Gears For Breakfast] is set in a psychic ward and anyone non-human in the game are human now.

Notes: The writer has done research on the mental disorders yet has trouble understanding and memorizing them, please don’t harass or insult them as they have tried to be empathetic and avoid spreading misinformation.

The perspective of the main character changes to the next character to show what the main character is really doing. 

TW: Mental disorders [Autism/Autism Spectrum, PTSD, OCD, Anxiety, Schizophrenia, etc.], the perspective of a child can be dark too, self-loathing, mentions of physical abuse [not kids fighting each other, we were kids who fought our own siblings before, unless it was physical abuse on your perspective…nevermind…], mild swearing, might be boring depending on how I write this story.

It’s a lovely morning, the sky was blue with puffy white clouds, or atleast, that’s what my switch was showing me as I play my favorite video game. My grandpa, Tim wanted to show us- me and my cousin Timmy, where he works; he is a doctor but not like any doctors I’ve met. Today looked like it was going to rain anytime soon by taking glimpses through the car window, in the reflection I saw Timmy was also bored of watching the window as he snaked a hand to the zipper of my big bagpack!

“Hey!” I yelled out, making both Timmy and grandpa Tim jump a bit. Timmy regained his position and looked away with his arms crossed, “I saw your hand on my bagpack!” I declared. He, being the older cousin, sticks his tongue out in protest “Did not!” he replies while keeping the “good guy” attitude. Grandpa just sighed and looks at both of us from the rear view mirror, me and Grandpa have the same eye color, “Timothy Jr. and Hana, stop fighting. And don’t touch her bagpack, Timmy.” He nonchalantly stated while Timmy’s eyes narrowed in annoyance as he looked at Grandpa and then at me, I was busy playing my game but listened in on them-

Timmy: “That’s not fair! I didn’t bring anything with me, besides the switch, and she gets to bring all FORTY OF HER TOYS!!”

Grandpa Tim: “She has to bring them for her own safety as all of those toys help her.”

Timmy: (mumbles) “Sometimes I think she’s pretending to have Autis-!”

Grandpa Tim: (exclaims) “Timothy Junior!! You do not say that in front of your cousin sister!”

Timmy: (quiet) “…”

…It sucks to have Autism, if I’m being honest here. You see, I was raised by my Grandpa only, and he makes sure that I have a good life, but when you’re surrounded by “normal” kids who are quick to point out a flaw you can’t control or those who are just close to you to get what you have, as far as stealing it, it gets harder as you grow up. Grandpa says that I am special in my own way, and he has met and helped those who are almost like me, so I take his word for it. Whenever me and Timmy fight, Grandpa always tells me that what makes me different from Timmy is that I have a different way of seeing the world, his way of saying that Timmy is raised differently and has trouble understanding how I feel. Those “toys” I brought along, all help to make me feel… safe, each of them are a part of my memories and it’s hard to not leave them.

“We’re here!” Grandpa tells us after a long silence, he had just parked the car next to a hedge close to a grey-white stone building, I unbuckled my seatbelt and carry my bagpack which is heavy, but I can keep it in Grandpa’s office. I held onto Grandpa’s hand as we all walked to the entrance of the building, the inside was like a quiet hospital with dimmed lights, there were nurses, security guards and janitors roaming the corridors to attend to any room in need of their services. Timmy and I looked at each other and we had the same thought: This looks like a good horror movie setting, Grandpa walks up to the first door, unlocks it and lets us in, the room looked almost identical to Grandpa’s bedroom, without the bed and a closet, there was a big wooden desk with a lot of small framed photos, a pen-holder and a goldfish bowl with a blue-red betta fish in there, “Stitch!!!” I exclaimed, I put down my bagpack on a purple beanbag and ran to the fishbowl, waving at the blue fish, I remember Grandpa buying him in a pet store when I saw him, I was so happy to see Stitch again.

Then an almost plump lady in a nurse uniform and a sweet smile peeps into the office, holding a paper bag filled with something, Grandpa greets her warmly, “Head Nurse Clara! Good to see you here, these are my grandchildren: Timothy Jr. and Hana.” Both me and Timmy waved at Clara, who smiles more, “Oh my! It’s really nice to finally meet you two! Good thing I baked a fresh batch for both of you!” She gets a paper plate from Grandpa’s office cabinet and out of her bag was a pile of cookies, the smell danced around the room and I was jumping on my tippy toes, wanting to hop on top of the desk and snatch all of the cookies for myself. Grandpa and Clara laugh softly at my reaction while Timmy rolls his eyes, Clara gives the plate to both of us and the next 5 minutes were a blur as me and Timmy eat the cookies and watch me play the game in his switch. Grandpa and Clara had left the room previously for work, leaving us in the office; as I finished the game, I noticed that there was one more cookie, so of course, I take it and took a bite of the scrumptious treat, Timmy looked at me with what I can guess was betrayal. “I wanted that last cookie!!! How could you?!!” I jolted, looking at Timmy with surprise, he storms off to the office door and slams the door shut, making my ears ring from the loud bang. I really didn’t mean to eat the last cookie, I can’t help it…

Timmy didn’t come back, so I went outside to see him leaning against the wall, with his hat brim covering his eyes, he got that grey hat from his dad, my uncle; he and Timmy’s mom are always busy, leaving Timmy with me and Grandpa. I walked towards him cautiously, this wasn’t the first time he gets mad, the last time ended with me getting an arm-brace and bandages while he got bruises and was grounded for 2 weeks. “T-Timmy…? I’m really sorry for eating the last cookie…I didn’t know you wanted it first…” I shakily said, hoping for him to yell at me and cause a scene, so that Grandpa could rush to us and calm everything down, Timmy raises his head to reveal his eyes, they also match Grandpa’s eyes…”That’s okay, it’s just one cookie! You really like cookies, that’s all.” He replies, shrugging everything off, leaving me surprised. He patted me in the back reassuringly with an off-putting smile, he notices my hands that have chocolate smudges and cookie crumbs, “You should wash your hands, Hana! Wouldn’t want to get the switch dirty, or ruin your fun with the treasure hunt!” He had this unusual tone when he mentioned a treasure hunt, yet he saw how my eyes widened more, he smiles more and chuckled. “A treasure hunt?? You were planning a treasure hunt??” I asked with excitement, I hopped on my toes again with delight, Timmy nodded and again asked me to wash my hands again, “After you wash your hands, count to one hundred, okay?” I looked at him confused, I asked why, “To find the perfect spot to hide the treasure, duh!” I naively giggled at his answer and rushed to the restroom, beginning to wash my hands, just the thought of something exciting finally happening while in Grandpa’s hospital.

Timmy’s P. O. V.

As I watch Hana rush to the restroom, I set my plan in motion, ‘I’ll show that dummy that she shouldn’t get nice things…! She’ll pay for making my switch dirty with her grubby hands and eating my cookie.’ I thought with a smirk as I open her bagpack she carried so dearly on her back. I looked at all of her toys, which were in fact just really weird looking gadgets, especially a really heavy blanket and a top-hat shaped toy with a turnkey on the band, I didn’t waste time to look through all of them as I carried the bag, ignored my breaking back and ran everywhere to hide all the toys, even the other 2 floors above the ground floor. Good thing this ward has elevators, or Hana will punch me more badly if I get caught, like the last time we fought…I shudder at the thought of being grounded for more than 2 weeks. Luckily, I knew this ward, inside and out to know where to put these toys in.

Hana’s P. O. V.

I washed my hands but in the process, got my sleeves wet, so I used many paper towels and a hand dryer for a long time, then I start the countdown from 1 to 100, but I messed it up twice, till I finally get to one hundred. With adrenaline pumping into my veins, I rush outside but saw Timmy nowhere, he might be in the office, I thought, and I entered the office and found to what I can describe as a soul-fleeting moment, my bagpack…it’s empty!!!! All my comfort toys are gone!!!! All forty of them!!!

Timmy’s P. O. V.

I hid in another restroom close to the one Hana went in, and felt a small tinge of regret when I hear her scream of horror…Nah, she’ll be fine…right? …I’m so gonna get grounded…A cold sweat fell from my covered forehead when I hear Hana’s stomping footsteps exit the office.

“YOU’RE DEAD, TIMOTHY!!!!!!” a loud Valkyrie shout boomed across the corridors.

…Yep, I’m grounded. So I stayed in the bathroom.

Hana’s P. O. V.

I was beyond mad at Timmy for not just opening my bagpack but for also touching AND HIDING MY TOYS THAT HAD SERVED COMFORT TO ME FOR A LONG TIME, ALL BECAUSE OF A COOKIE!!! I’ll kick his butt when I see him, but I kept my main objective: Find all 40 of my comfort toys before we leave, I can’t let Grandpa know because I want to hunt Timmy myself. I marched through the corridors, searching for atleast one of my toys.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Notes: End of Chapter 0 of A Pill In Time. This is a testing chapter to see if I can continue on writing this fanfiction. I hope you enjoyed as much as I enjoyed typing it; if you have any thoughts or suggestions, please let me know as I would want to make this chapter friendly and well-researched with no misinformation. Terms and Conditions apply.

[hollymartinswrites]

Chapters: 6/? Fandom: IT - Stephen King, IT (Movies - Muschietti) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh Characters: Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier, Ben Hanscom, Beverly Marsh, Bill Denbrough, Mike Hanlon, Original Child Character(s) Additional Tags: Fix-It, Post-Canon Fix-It, Post-IT Chapter Two (2019), Domestic, Light Angst, Family Feels, Childhood Trauma, Adoption, Kid Fic, Adopted Children, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Marriage, Eddie Kaspbrak & Richie Tozier Are Parents, Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Minor Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Beverly Marsh & Richie Tozier Are Best Friends

TRIGGER WARNING: Discussion of medical issues (which I based on research, so may be inaccurate) and use of a gay slur

Summary:

Eddie and Richie embark on the most terrifying experience of all—parenthood.

Or, the author desperately needed a domestic, family fix-it for Richie and Eddie.

Chapter VI: Something very odd is happening to Richie and Eddie's daughter. Richie tries to understand what it all means.

Richie Tozier was quite familiar with fear.

It had been a constant companion throughout most of his life, a close friend to his anxiety. He had felt fear all during that fateful summer in ‘89; when he had seen his own face staring up from a missing child poster; when Eddie had broken his arm and couldn’t stop screaming as the clown stalked closer and closer; when he was in college and suddenly gay-bashing was all over the news and he just kept his head down and said nothing; when he had first stepped on stage; when he had finally come out to his family; when Mike had called to bring him back to Derry; when he had confessed his feelings to Eddie in that hospital; and when he and Eddie had finally been told they had been approved for adoption.

But, he discovered, he had only known true terror twice.

Once, when Eddie’s eyes had dimmed as he bled out in his arms in the bowels of Derry.

Second, when he walked into his youngest daughter’s bedroom, and watched her face slacken, her body stiffen unnaturally, and her tiny body collapse onto the floor.

He stared at his bedroom ceiling and tried to make sense of the day but it was all one panic-stricken blur. He vaguely recalled gathering his daughter into his arms, her body impossibly light and limp, and then, seemingly in a blink, he was standing in the ER, Eddie and the doctors both asking him question after question of what happened, what did he see, what had she said, had she eaten anything, did she hit her head on the ground?

The only thing he remembered clearly was the feeling of overwhelming relief when Tess had opened her eyes and, in an extremely puzzled voice, asked why he was crying.

Richie took a deep breath and exhaled it slowly, staring at the ceiling.

“Can’t sleep?” Eddie whispered.

Richie shook his head. Eddie reached his arm over Tess, who was sleeping peacefully between them, and rested his hand over Richie’s heart.

“It’s okay,” he whispered, “we’re gonna get through this.”

Richie scrubbed his hand over his face. He swallowed, trying desperately to not give way to tears.

“Rich…”

“How are you so fucking calm about this?” he asked blankly.

Eddie huffed a quiet laugh.

“I’m not,” he replied, glancing down at their sleeping daughter.

Richie took his hand away from his face and gazed at his husband. He had to admit, even in waning blue darkness, he could see the thrumming anxiety under Eddie’s skin. He sighed again.

“What are we gonna do, Eds?”

“We can’t know until we get the EEG results back.”

Richie closed his eyes and tried to push the image of their tiny daughter on the big hospital bed, electrodes attached to her head, out of his mind. Eddie smoothed his hand on his chest in a little circle.

“No matter what, we can’t let them see us freak out, alright?” he whispered.

Richie nodded, turned onto his side, and laid a gentle arm over their daughter, his hand on Eddie’s side. Neither man slept for the rest of the night.

“I had no idea there were so many different kinds of seizures,” Eddie muttered, flipping through the packets of papers the nurse had handed to them in the waiting room.

Richie said nothing, his arms merely tightened around Tess as she sat on his lap, preoccupied with her father’s old, still working Game Boy Color in her hands.

“And it could be from anything,” Eddie continued, turning to another page. “Allergies, a fever, epilepsy, autism. I mean…” he sighed and closed the pamphlet, rubbing his eyes tiredly. He dropped his hand and gazed up at Richie. “Are you okay?”

Richie shook his head, his jaw clenched and his back ramrod straight.

“Rich, we’ll—”

The examination room door opened and the doctor, a pleasant-looking woman with a smile on her face and a tiny stuffed rabbit in her hands, walked in. Eddie smiled in response and shook her hand but Richie didn’t move. He could never remember her name.

“Hi, Tess,” she said happily. “How are you feeling today?”

“Okay,” Tess said quietly, a dubious look on her face.

“Good, I’m happy to hear that,” she said. “You’ve been very brave these last few days. So we have a treat for you.”

She leaned forward and held the stuffed rabbit out to Tess, who looked at it longingly before turning her gaze up to her father.

“Go on, it’s a gift for you,” Eddie said, smiling gently.

Tess grinned and grabbed the rabbit, clutching it to her chest.

“What do you say, Tess?”

“Thank you,” she whispered shyly.

The doctor smiled and straightened.

“And you two,” she said, looking at Richie and Eddie, “how are you doing?”

Richie remained silent as Eddie replied, “We’re getting by.”

“Good, good,” the doctor replied. “I’m sure you both are anxious but I have good news. As far as we can tell, there was no physical reason for her seizure. Nothing in her brain as far as the tests show.”

Richie exhaled a breath and collapsed in on himself, feeling suddenly as if he just ran a marathon. Eddie’s hand on his arm tightened.

“Then why did she have one?” Richie asked.

“As I’m sure you’ve seen, there are a great many reasons why a child may experience a seizure,” the doctor sighed. She glanced down at a chart in her hands. “I understand you’ve had Tess in therapy for anxiety issues?”

Both men nodded. Richie swallowed and felt oddly guilty, as if Tess had inherited his own anxiety disorder.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if it was related to that,” she explained. “An extreme sort of panic attack. Where there any triggers that day? Perhaps something that put her out of comfort zone?”

“We were just taking the kids to their cousin’s little league game,” Eddie explained. “Nothing too out of the order.”

“But anxiety doesn’t need a reason,” Richie muttered.

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Eddie gaze at him. The doctor nodded.

“I would keep an eye on her to see if her anxiety triggers another episode like this,” she said.

“Another one?” Richie repeated, stunned. “We’re just supposed to wait around until she has another one?”

“Based on the test results and her history, I doubt she will have another one like that,” she said gently.

“And what if she does? What then?”

“We bring her back to the hospital,” Eddie said softly.

Richie stared at his husband, his eyes wide.

“That’s it?” he asked, hoarsely. “That’s all we can do?”

“If she does have more episodes like this one, then we could look into medication but I really think this was an anomaly,” the doctor continued.

“That’s your guess,” Richie claimed.

“Richie—”

“And you’re just accepting it?” he asked Eddie wildly.

“The tests don’t show anything physical,” Eddie repeated.

Richie sighed and leaned his head back against the wall. After a moment’s silence, the doctor and Eddie began speaking again, discussing plans and ideas and what to do in the future. Richie ignored them. A soft kiss at his chin, and he looked down. Tess was holding the rabbit up, pressing it against his face.

“It’s okay, Papa,” she said.

Tears sprang to his eyes. He smiled at his daughter.

“So that’s it,” Richie sighed, leaning against the porch railing. “Nothing we can do but see if she has another one and what triggered it.”

Mike put his hand on Richie’s shoulder and squeezed it.

“It’s tough,” he said gently, “but the alternative answers are worse.”

Richie shrugged.

“Yeah, I know, but at least they’re answers,” he muttered. “I just hate feeling so fucking helpless.”

“I know,” Mike replied. “But you and Eddie are on top of it. He was telling me before that you got her in therapy.”

“She’s been in it before this all happened,” Richie said. He suddenly itched for a cigarette but it had been years. “We had to update her therapist about all of this and she agreed with the neurologist that it was just like...a fucking panic attack. But I’ve never seen a panic attack quite like that.”

“They must know what they’re talking about.”

“Yeah, but they didn’t see it,” Richie insisted, crossing his arms over his chest. “I saw her, I’m the only one who really did. And everyone else wants to dismiss it. Even Eddie.”

“You know that’s not true, man.”

Richie frowned and looked down at his shoes. Guilt began to rise in his throat like bile.

“Yeah, you’re right, I’m just fucking...really fucking…”

“Frustrated?” Mike offered.

“To say the fucking least.”

Mike smiled and looped an arm around Richie’s shoulders, squeezing tightly.

“Well, we’re all here for you guys, I promise,” Mike said affectionately. “Anytime you need one of us, you know we’ll be here.”

“I know,” Richie mumbled and ran a hand through his hair. “And thanks for stopping by today. You didn’t have to, you know. You didn’t have to do a layover just to see us.”

Mike shrugged.

“Cheaper seats that way,” he replied. “And I get to see my favorite all-American suburban parents. Win win.”

Richie laughed and shook his head.

“Sometimes I still can’t believe this is my life,” he admitted. “Like I’ll have these weird out of body moments where I look at Lydia and Tess and have to remind myself, oh yeah, these are my kids. I’m a parent now. It’s wild.”

“I can imagine,” Mike laughed. “But you two are doing a good job. They’re great kids.”

Richie shrugged. He fell silent for a long moment, as if searching for the right words. Mike waited patiently.

“You know, Tess has those moments, too,” he said quietly. “The doctor said they could be, uh, absence seizures but the EEG results were totally normal. I think they’re something else.”

“You lost me, Rich,” Mike admitted. “But I know nothing about this sort of thing.”

“Remember whenever we saw Pennywise as kids?” Richie continued. “When we were alone and we saw It? And even though it seemed to last forever, sometimes we’d just blink and It’d be gone?”

“Yeah,” Mike said, a frown on his face.

“Have you ever wondered what we looked like from the other end?”

“What do you mean?”

“Like, when I was back in Derry and It was taunting me from the Paul Bunyan statue,” Richie explained, a slight tremor in his voice, “the park was full of people. I wasn’t alone. So what did they see when they looked over at me freaking the fuck out? Was I frozen or talking out loud to nothing?”

“Rich,” Mike said slowly, “are you saying that you think It is the reason behind your daughter’s seizure?”

“No, I–fuck,” Richie groaned and began pacing, his hands shaking, “I don’t know what I think. I just...she says things, alright? She told Eddie once that he died and came back and that’s why he has that scar on his chest. When we bought a hammock she said, oh like the one we had when we were little? How the fuck would she know about those things? We never told either of girls anything about Derry. But Tess somehow fucking knows.”

“Okay, wait, calm down, buddy,” Mike said, reaching for Richie’s arm. “Breathe with me.”

Richie hadn’t realized he was panicking. He followed Mike’s breathing for several long moments before his heart stopped racing.

“Sorry,” he muttered, looking down.

“You don’t have to apologize,” Mike insisted. He took a deep breath. “Listen, I don’t know how Tess knows these things. I mean, couldn’t it be like her imagination or just lucky guesses?”

“You sound like Eddie,” Richie mumbled dejectedly. “I swear, it’s something else.”

“Okay, I believe you,” Mike replied. He frowned, rubbing at his chin. “Hm, I could do some digging around for anything like this. I mean, I don’t necessarily believe in psychics but…”

“And I normally wouldn’t believe in killer clowns from outer space but here we are,” Richie said, grinning gruesomely.

Mike huffed a laugh and nodded.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” he admitted. “Anything’s possible in this crazy world.”

“Don’t I fucking know it,” Richie sighed.

The world kept turning.

Richie could barely understand it. Eddie went back to work, Lydia continued her gymnastics and counted down the days for back to school, and Tess was still her high-strung self. They continued her therapy, and Richie kept an extremely close eye on her—to the point that she finally asked one day as he stared at her, “Are you okay, Papa?” God, he was the one turning into Eddie’s mother.

Still, the days turned into weeks and she, luckily never had another episode like that awful one. Richie was grateful; he was quite certain his heart couldn’t handle another one. Eddie was hopeful that perhaps it was all over, that her anxiety was getting under control and maybe, they didn’t have to worry anymore. But he wasn’t the one home all day with the girls, with Tess and her far-off looks and uncanny ability to seem to know what her father was thinking.

But he had promised Eddie he wouldn’t freak out in front of the girls, so Richie kept quiet. Well, as quiet as Richie Tozier could be.

It was nearing the end of August and Lydia was bouncing off the walls ready to start third grade and for her latest loose tooth to finally fall out. She was constantly nudging it with her tongue, showing it off to her sister who had never experienced such a life-changing event. Tess found it alarming.

“It doesn’t hurt,” Lydia explained, “it just feels weird. And then the Tooth Fairy comes and gives you money.”

“Why?” Tess asked.

Lydia shrugged.

“I don’t know,” she said, in a rare admittance of uncertainty, “why does she do that, Papa?”

“I think she pays you for the teeth and then sells them at ridiculously inflated prices on the black market,” Richie replied, cutting the crust off his youngest daughter’s sandwich. “It’s all about supply and demand.”

“I think you’re making that up,” Lydia observed wisely.

“I never make things up,” Richie said, placing Tess’s sandwich on the plate in front of her. “The Tooth Fairy has a business to run.”

“So the Tooth Fairy comes to our house?” Tess asked nervously. Richie’s heart clenched. He should’ve know. She also found the Easter Bunny disturbing, but who could really blame her?

“Yeah, but she’s tiny, so she sneaks in,” Lydia answered. “Like Tinkerbell. It’s not a big deal. All fairies are tiny.”

Tess looked doubtful.

“I don’t know,” she muttered.

“It’s true, fairies are tiny, right, Papa?”

Richie nodded, sitting beside his daughters at the table with his own sandwich (and Tess’s discarded crusts).

“But you’re not tiny,” Tess declared, looking straight at her father.

A prickling of discomfort, a very specific one he hadn’t felt in years, stabbed Richie in the chest. He froze and gazed at his daughter, his sandwich in half way up to his suddenly dry mouth.

“Papa’s not a fairy!” Lydia laughed.

“But that boy called you one,” Tess said, confusion evident on her face. “Is that mean? He seemed mean.”

“What boy?” Richie asked hoarsely.

“I don’t know,” Tess shrugged. “He’s bigger and he yells a lot.”

Why the FUCK is she talking about Bowers in the present tense?

“Where did...when...where did you see this?” Richie asked, trying desperately to keep his voice steady.

Tess took a bite of her sandwich before answering.

“I don’t know, I just saw it,” she said.

“It?” Richie repeated, dropping his own sandwich and grasping his daughter’s hand. “Tess, tell me exactly what you saw.”

Both Lydia and Tess exchanged a glance of mild puzzlement. Their Papa was being weird.

“I saw you and the big kid and he called you a fairy,” she said. “And you ran away.”

“Was I...little? I mean, you saw me as a little kid? Like in the photos at Grandma’s house?”

Tess nodded and laughed.

“You looked silly,” she said.

“When was this?”

“Huh?”

“When did you see this?”

Tess shrugged.

“I don’t remember.”

Richie swallowed.

“How often do you see these things?”

“What things?” Tess asked, taking another bite of her sandwich. She seemed rather bored of this conversation.

“Things like...like the boy calling me names or Daddy dying and coming back.”

She furrowed her little brow and scrunched up her face as she thought.

“I don’t know,” she said, “sometimes. Sometimes lots and sometimes never.”

“Are they ever...scary?”

She shrugged.

“Sometimes, but not always.”

Lydia abruptly spat in her hand.

“Hey!” she exclaimed, happily. “My tooth came out!”

She held it up for her sister and father to see. The conversation ended.

“How can she know these things, Eds?” Richie whispered, his face in his hands.

“I...I don’t know,” Eddie admitted softly.

Richie raised his head and gazed, unblinking, at his husband.

“These aren’t lucky guesses. Eddie, you have to be honest with me,” he said, “have you ever told either of the girls anything about It?”

Eddie’s mouth fell open.

“Are you serious right now?” he demanded.

“Yes, just fucking tell me so I’ll stop wondering.”

“I never told them about It and you know I never did,” Eddie hissed. “The fuck kind of father do you think I am?”

“I’m just making sure!” Richie insisted, raising his hands in supplication. “I just...I feel like I’m going crazy trying to figure this out.”

Eddie sighed and sat beside his husband.

“Me too,” he muttered. “Fuck, I should’ve known.”

“Known what?”

“We...I’m too…” Eddie trailed off and sighed. “How could we think everything was behind us? That our kids wouldn’t be affected?”

Richie stared at Eddie, cold fear in the pit of his stomach.

“What are you saying?” he asked, blankly. “Do you regret our kids?”

“No!” Eddie insisted. “No, never that. Sometimes I just…regret that they got stuck with us as parents.”

“Huh,” Richie mumbled. “Sometimes I do, too.”

He wiped at his forehead, wincing when he realized how sweaty it was. His jumped suddenly. His phone was ringing. He hoped it wasn’t his manager demanding another show. He glanced down at his screen and felt a brief flutter of relief. It was Mike. He swiped it open.

“Hey, Mikey,” he greeted, failing miserably at sounding pleasantly happy.

“Hey, Rich, are you okay?” Mike asked.

“Yeah, sure, peachy, just tired,” Richie sighed. “I’m on Tooth Fairy duty tonight.”

“Ah,” Mike said, “Tess?”

“Lydia.”

“And how’s Tess been?”

“Fine, aside from the occasional cryptic mind-reading or whatever the fuck she’s doing.”

“Well, that’s why I wanted to call you,” Mike continued hurriedly. “I’ve been doing some research and I think I found something interesting.”

Richie’s eyes widened as he gripped the phone.

“Just...just fucking tell me it has nothing do with the clown,” he begged.

“No,” Mike promised, “something else. Something...interesting.”

[therealmaggiemedia]

The Maggie Simpson Show E1806 The Wrong School Warning Contains scenes of violence and Autism

FADE IN

INT. THE SIMPSONS KITCHEN-DAY

the Simpsons are having Breakfast at the table Maggie remembers hearing about a new bus driver starting.

MAGGIE

I think I have a new bus driver today because Otto had to go to a drug clinic!

BART

About time too he’s on pot for as long as I can remember!

LISA

At least he’s getting help!

MAGGIE

Well can’t sit around chatting got to get ready for school!

Maggie leaves the room and makes her way upstairs.

HOMER

Maggie’s getting a new driver? (SIGHS) wish I had a driver!

They all look at him

HOMER

All I’m saying is I wish I had a driver!

They continue looking at him.

HOMER

Screw you I’m going to work!

Homer exits the house and goes to work in his car.

OUTSIDE  A FEW MINUTES LATER

Maggie is waiting for the bus she is now wearing her normal clothes Lisa who is on her way to school decides to wait with her.

LISA

Want me to wait with you?

MAGGIE

Yeah okay but I don’t want you to late!

LISA

Best part about my school is nobody notices if I’m there or not!

Then a battered old bus comes down the road backfiring with a driver who seems very angry the bus stops the doors open and the driver was very nasty to Maggie.

DRIVER

(YELLING)  get your ass on the bus and take a damn seat!

Maggie gets on the bus feeling a bit uneasy Lisa questions the driver about the way he spoke to Maggie

LISA

(ANGRY)  Hey how dare you talk to my sister like that?

DRIVER

Shut up tinkerbell!

He closes the door and drives away

ON THE BUS

Maggie is sitting next to Michelle Maggie can smell something horrible.

MAGGIE

Ew smell that Michelle!

MICHELLE

Yeah it smells like a bathroom!

MAGGIE

I say it smells like pee!

They both get disgusted by it.

Then bus stops outside what they think is Springfield Elementary school

DRIVER

Alright get your asses off the bus pronto!

He fires a gun into the air and all the kids run off the bus.

INT,  CORRIDOR

Maggie and the rest of her class are walking down the Corridor to class they see a door that says Kindergarten.

MAGGIE

Here we are guys lets go in!

Maggie opens the door and sees a teacher she doesn’t know and some kids she doesn’t know either.

MAGGIE

Is this the Kindergarten class?

TEACHER

Yes and you are?

MAGGIE

Maggie Simpson!

The teacher looks on her list.

TEACHER

Are you sure you go to this school?

MAGGIE

Yes I’ve been going for three years!

TEACHER

Sorry your not on the list!

Maggie leaves the room with her friends as they walk down the corridor Maggie sees a plaque on the wall that says Welcome to West Springfield Elementary School.

MAGGIE

(ANGRY) Damn it, its the wrong school that damn bus driver!

MICHELLE

Maggie calm down!

MAGGIE

Calm down, Calm down we’re at the wrong frigging school Michelle oh god I feel a meltdown coming on!

MICHELLE

Maggie no please no!

MAGGIE

(VERY ANGRY) this is your fault Michelle you wanted to catch the (BLEEP)ing bus I’ll show you!

Maggie lashes out at Michelle she pushes her on the floor then she punches her face Lilly is wondering what’s going on.

LILLY

Um what’s she doing to Michelle!

GERALD

I don’t know but I hope it continues!

Then Maggie hits Michelle so hard she has a black eye then Maggie tries to calm down but the Principal of West Springfield Elementary school  has seen it all and decides to intervene.

PRINCIPAL

your not a student of mine but lets go to my office and lets get you to the nurse rest of you please wait here!

IN THE OFFICE

Maggie is being talked to by the principal.

PRINCIPAL

So you attack other people?

MAGGIE

I  don’t remember doing that at all!

PRINCIPAL

Well you hurt the girl with the blonde hair!

MAGGIE

Michelle!, I hurt Michelle!, I hope not we are best friends sir!

PRINCIPAL

Well she’s with the nurse, how did you come to this school?

MAGGIE

On the School bus we were heading for Springfield Elementary school but our ass of a bus driver brought us here!

PRINCIPAL

Springfield Elementary I’ll give them a call and tell them where you are and explain what happened you go to the nurse and try and make up with your friend!

IN THE NURSE’S OFFICE

Michelle is having her injuries seen to when Maggie comes in.

MAGGIE

Michelle!, Can we talk?

MICHELLE

I have nothing to say to you after what you did to me!

MAGGIE

Michelle!, we’re best friends!

MICHELLE

Not anymore and never will be again, now leave me alone!

Maggie walks away feeling very sad.

FADE TO BLACK

FADE IN

INT, WEST SPRINGFIELD ELEMENTARY SCHOOL CORRIDOR-LATER

Maggie is looking a little sad she has been crying Lilly walks up her and makes it worse.

LILLY

Maggie!, If your upset about Michelle not being your friend who can blame her who what’s a friend like you we have decided not be friend ever again!

Everyone walks away from Maggie accept Gerald who does not care what Maggie did.

GERALD

Don’t worry Maggie!, you still have me!

MAGGIE

Go away!

Maggie starts to cry on the wall Gerald tries to make her feel better but it doesn’t work.

GERALD

Look Maggie!, I know I’ve always bulled you for years but I have always wanted to be your friend I kept  saying to myself Maggie Simpson is the only girl for me!

Maggie looks up and at Gerald with tears in her eyes.

MAGGIE

(SNIFFS) do you really mean that?

GERALD

Sure!

MAGGIE

Thanks Gerald it means a lot to me!

Maggie and Gerald walk down the Corridor together.

OUTSIDE

Maggie’s former friends are shouting abuse at her and is making Maggie feel upset.

GERALD

Ignore them Maggie, Ignore them!

MAGGIE

I know I should do but they just get to me Gerald!

GERALD

They have to make there own way back to our school, say instead going to our school why don’t we go to my mom’s apartment I have the keys and she’s at work!

MAGGIE

Okay!

INT, THE SAMSON’S APARTMENT-LATER

Gerald and Maggie are at Gerald’s Mom’s Apartment Maggie is looking around and she sees dirty dishes in the sink in the kitchen an old beaten up sofa and a TV that is very old with an antenna.

MAGGIE

Gerald ui can live with the dirty dishes but don’t you have cable?

GERALD

No my Mom keeps saying its too expensive!

MAGGIE

What a crock, Springfield Cable have a sale of 15% off for the first year!

Maggie shows him an advert in the paper.

GERALD

Maggie!, lets go to my room and play video games I’ve just got bonestorm 3!

MAGGIE

Cool lets play!

IN GERALD’S BEDROOM

Maggie is looking for the game console but she doesn’t see one what she doesn’t know that Gerald wants his way with her.

MAGGIE

Gerald! I don’t see a games console computer or a laptop!

Gerald closes his bedroom door walks towards Maggie

MAGGIE

Gerald what are you doing?

GERALD

Lets get it on!

MAGGIE

Get what on?

Gerald pushes Maggie on his bed Maggie becomes overwhelmed she grabs Gerald and pushes him because she is having another Meltdown.

MAGGIE

(YELLING) I know what you were doing and we can’t even do that!

Maggie sits on the bed trying to calm herself.

GERALD

You’re mental you need help Maggie!

INT, THE SIMPSON’S DINING ROOM-EVENING

The Simpsons are having Dinner at the table Maggie is wondering why she keeps having meltdowns.

MAGGIE

(SADLY) Today I lost all my friends I really hurt Michelle and I don’t know why I did that!

LISA

Maggie its because you have autism and when you get overwhelmed things happen that cannot be explained!

MAGGIE

Lisa I know I have Autism I just wish Michelle and the others would be my friend again that’s all I want!

Maggie puts her head on the table and begins to cry.

Lisa puts her arm around her little sister and tries to make her feel better.

LISA

its okay Maggie!, just tell your friends you’re sorry!

MAGGIE

I tried that Lisa it didn’t work!

BART

If they don’t like you anymore who gives a damn  hell crap anyway!

Maggie has a meltdown and throws her plate at Bart covering him in food and Maggie goes to her room still having a meltdown.

LISA

I’ll go see if she’s alright!

Lisa gets up from the table and goes upstairs.

HOMER

Can I have Maggie’s desert?

MARGE

No Homer!

ON THE LANDING

Lisa is knocking on Maggie’s door.

LISA

Maggie!, Are you okay?

Lisa opens the door sees Maggie has destroyed  her room.

LISA

Its okay sit on your bed and calm down I’ll sit with you!

Maggie hugs Lisa

LISA

Its okay come on lets get you cleaned up and see what we can do with this room!

Maggie tries to calm herself by taking deep breathes.

After Maggie has calmed down Maggie sees her room everything is broken.

MAGGIE

(WORRIED) Oh no my stuff is broken (SOBS)

LISA

We’ll see if we can replace it all but I think you need a bandaid on that cut on your forehead!

Lisa leaves the room then returns with a box of band aids and something to clean her up.

LISA

Lets start by cleaning your face!

Lisa does so then she puts a band aid on Maggie’s cut.

MAGGIE

I’m sorry I did this!

LISA

What's  important is you I’d hate for my sister to be really hurt!

MAGGIE

Lisa what are we going to do Dad will be so mad!

LISA

Like I said we’ll see what we can do!

Maggie nods her head in agreement.

LISA

How about I take you to Costingtons at the weekend!

MAGGIE

I can’t go there what if those ex friends of mine are there and they start trouble!

LISA

Maggie!. It’ll be fine I’m with you!

INT, COSTINGTON’S-DAY

its Saturday and Maggie and Lisa are in a toy shop Maggie is buying Happy Little Elf toys near the check out she sees Emma Judith Michelle and Lilly

MAGGIE

(WORRIED) Lisa! Trouble!

LISA

Don’t worry if they start on you they’ll have me to answer to!

Maggie gets in line at the check out behind Lilly, Lilly sees her and decides to make nasty comments about her.

LILLY

Do you guys smell something?, oh I know what it is its the bully!

They all shout Bully at Maggie Maggie puts her hands over her eyes but Lisa doesn’t like what she sees and decides to intervene.

LISA

(ANGRY)  Hey!, leave my sister alone sure she hurt Michelle but Maggie has autism and has meltdowns she can’t help it that’s all I have to say on the matter!

They continue to ignore Maggie

MAGGIE

I don’t think your speech was motivating!

LISA

Just wait!

As Maggie is getting served at the check out Michelle walks up to her.

MICHELLE

Maggie!, can I talk you after you’ve paid for your toys that is!

MAGGIE

Okay meet me outside the store!

OUTSIDE OF THE TOY SHOP

Maggie’s old friends are there.

MAGGIE

If this is what I think it is you can forget it!

MICHELLE

Maggie wait!, look I’m sorry I didn’t understand about Autism in fact we all are can you forgive us and be friends again?

MAGGIE

Okay!, I’d shake hands but due to covid its not allowed!

MICHELLE

Yeah its understandable!

Then Lisa comes out of the store

LISA

Maggie you left your bag on the counter!

MAGGIE

I did oh thanks Lisa!

MICHELLE

See you in school on Monday!

They all walk towards the food court.

LISA

It seems you have your friends back and I’m happy about that want to know what’s the bag, its a new laptop for you!

MAGGIE

Lisa how can you afford it?

LISA

It doesn’t matter your what Matters to me lets go home!

Lisa and Maggie exit the store.

THE END