#sighs dramatically . these guys......

[trensu]

ETA: now on ao3 as Hawkins Halfway House for Homeless Horrors

ETA2: now with an additional snippet

okay, how's this for an AU

We know that Steve wants to be a dad. Like, his literal life dream is to have a minimum of six children. SIX. who wants that?? crazy people, that's who. but we forgive him his insanity because he's sweet and will actually probably be a really good dad and there's not enough of those in the world.

the downer is that it's the late 90s, he's a (still) single guy in his thirties, and every adoption agency on the planet would rather give their children to a heteronormative couple who don't even want kids than to a single dude who would dedicate his heart and soul to giving his kids a happy healthy home.

He's bemoaning his fate to Robin at a bar they recently discovered. It's a weird little joint, kinda tucked away on the outskirts where Steve could've sworn didn't exist just last week. The patrons were kinda weird too but neither he or Robin could put their finger on why or how. If Steve had been a little less miserable, and Robin a little less caught up in comforting him, they might've noticed how everyone else in the bar kept sneaking curious glances at them or how they somehow always kept most of their features hidden.

They didn't though. Even when they were interrupted by a handsome black gentleman who called himself Jeff. Jeff said that he couldn't help but overhear their dilemma and that he's actually part of an agency that is more open minded about potential foster or adoptive parents. Steve's a little deeper in his cups than he intended, and doesn't question that some random guy in a bar is offering him a chance of having children. Robin is not as far in her cups and finds it a bit suspicious.

She was going to say something about it but Jeff looked her in the eye and said, "Everything is fine. There's no reason to worry. I'm only trying to help."

"You're only trying to help," Robin murmured back blearily. "Everything is fine. Yeah. Yeah, 'm not worried."

Jeff gives Steve his card and tells him he can stop by the very next day if he'd like, since his schedule is open.

The next day, Steve is regretting having gotten so drunk. Not really because of the hangover (though holy shit, he is NOT twenty anymore he needs to stop drinking like one). No. It's because Jeff had just finished giving him a tour of the facility full of rambunctious children in need of a home.

Actually, that had been pretty okay even if the other adults in the facility startled at the sight of him and the children kept ducking into other rooms to hide from him.

No. It's because Jeff had just introduced him to a child named Dustin who sneezed unexpectedly and somehow turned into a kitten.

"Um," Steve said. Jeff sighed.

"Dustin hasn't gotten back control over his shapeshifting since his mother's passing, but I assure you he's been improving."

"...shapeshifting," Steve said, numbly.

"Yes. Dustin tends to go for cat shapes, like his mother did." Jeff bends down to pick up the loudly mewing tabby kitten. "We've managed to get him to shift mostly into a domestic shorthair, rather than a cougar cub."

"That's great," Steve squeaked as he tried to tamp down the growing hysteria in him. "Really, really great. Y'know what, Jeff, this whole thing's been great but I think I'm still kind of drunk so I'm just gonna go--"

"No, wait," Jeff says, quickly placing the Dustin kitten on his shoulder before reaching out to grab Steve by the elbow. "Please. Look, you seem like a good guy. I did a quick scan of you and everything, and I really think if you'd take a moment to sit down and--"

"JEFFORD BILLANY JONES."

Jeff's shoulders hunched, nearly dislodging Dustin from his shoulder. He sighed again and turned to face the man storming towards him and Steve.

"Eddy, you know none of that is my name."

"I'll call you whatever I want since for some unfathomable reason, you've brought a human into my sanctuary. Why is there a human in my home, Jeffamy."

"Eddy, let me explain."

"It's Eddie in front of the human," Eddie said.

Steve's brain was experiencing some sort of malfunction because Jeff had been calling this man Eddie, except if he concentrated, the way Jeff said Eddie and the way Eddie had said Eddie sounded very very different except it hadn't because they both sounded like Eddie except for how Jeff's Eddie sounded different from, the same as, different, just like--

A pair of ringed fingers snapped aggressively in front of his face, startling Steve from an impending aneurysm.

"You. Who are you, who sent you, what do you want."

Steve stuttered something incoherent. He's pretty sure he's had a mental break from reality. There was some sort of sentient black sludge creeping across the tiled floor, wrapping a tendril around Jeff's leg.

"What is that?" Steve squawked. Jeff beamed at him.

"Oh, this is El! She's a Monster Under the Bed. She hasn't decided on a form yet, but that's okay, we love her just as she is."

"Jeff," Eddie snapped. Jeff looked at Eddie stubbornly.

"You told me we needed all hands on deck."

"How dare you, I'd never stoop to using boat metaphors."

"Don't distract me with blatant lies. Eddy, you said we needed help. You said you'd take anyone at this point."

Steve has not been able to stop staring at the sludge creature (El?). He's beginning to realize that he can't quite remember what Jeff looked like, or any of the adults they had seen. He's noticing that some of the children that have been scampering about had looked off. Like the boy with the bowl-cut they had passed by earlier who had looked...frosty around the edges. Or the girl he thought had had red feathers in her hair but is now suspecting the feathers were something more than decorative.

Ringed fingers snap in front of his face again. Steve finally focused on the man named Eddie who was actually named Eddie which was different from Eddie somehow. Now that he's able to shove away the confusion that is this man's name, he's struck by the fact that Eddie was quite possibly the most gorgeous man Steve's ever seen. He had wide, dark eyes that made Steve think of seabeds in the deepest of waters. His hair was a riot of dark brown curls that for some reason brought to mind swirling schools of fish.

"Answer my questions," Eddie demanded. Steve blinked and, with some difficulty, remembered the previous interrogation.

"Uh, I'm Steve. Jeff invited me because I want to be a dad."

Eddie barked out a laugh.

"Oh, is that right? In that case, welcome to Hawkins' Halfway House for Homeless Horrors! I'm sure Jeff would love to finish introducing you to the rest of our children. Have you met Mike? He's a ghoul! Or Lucas! He's a werewolf and his dream is to become a basketball star. They both have very sharp teeth so watch out for their tantrums."

Jeff scowls at Eddie before turning back to Steve. Steve was starting to feel faint and he was no longer sure if he regretted drinking the night before or regretted not drinking more.

"Steve, it's okay. Eddy is making it sound scarier than it actually is. You said you wanted to be a dad, and we need foster parents that can help these kids learn how to blend in with humans. That's what the halfway house is for, but there's only so much they can learn while living in sanctuary. We need a way to have them experience the human world more directly while still keeping them safe, and I think you're the solution we've been looking for. What do you think?"

"I think I need to sit down," Steve said thinly. Eddie snorted derisively. Steve was slightly offended but honestly everything was a bit too much right now and he really would like to sit down for a moment just to process. Because monsters are real, apparently, and some of them need parents. Which was terrifying to think about but also not so much? Because all kids were little monsters some of the time right? If Steve could have a moment to get his bearings...

"This was a terrible idea, Jeffathan."

"I think it was a great idea, actually. I really think this could work."

"No. I forbid it. Don't do this again."

Then there was a sweet and beautiful humming. It made the edges of Steve's mind go fuzzy and soft. He blinked slowly and looked for the source of the sound. Eddie stared at him intently and when he spoke, his voice was like music.

"Steve," Eddie said. "Steve, do you want to make me happy?"

Steve nodded dumbly. He wanted that more than anything in the whole world. He wanted to make Eddie smile. He wanted Eddie to never stop singing.

"It would make me very happy if you went home and forgot everything you saw here today," Eddie continued.

Steve made a sad sound. He didn't want to forget. He didn't want to forget beautiful, gorgeous Eddie and this place that could make his dream come true.

"Please, Steve," Eddie's lyrical voice took on an aching mournful tone. "If you don't, you'll break my heart. I'll never be happy again."

The sadness in the song made Steve feel like the world was ending. Eddie couldn't be sad! Steve would rather die than make Eddie sad!

"I forget," Steve mumbled through the fog in his mind. "And you'll be happy?"

"So happy. I'd be the happiest man alive if you do that one little thing for me, my sweet Steve."

Steve nods again. "Okay."

"Good boy," Eddie croons. Steve felt like he swallowed the sun at those words. He followed Eddie as Eddie guided him through the halfway house. Eddie hummed his lovely song the entire way.

"Go home and forget," Eddie sang one last time as he helped Steve get behind the wheel of his car.

"Yeah," Steve replied dreamily and drove away.

--

The telephone rang shrilly through his apartment. Steve stumbled out of bed and picked up, only fumbling it a little bit.

"H'llo?"

"Steve, what the hell, I've been trying to get a hold of you all day! Where have you been?" Robin's voice rang out, making Steve flinch. He scrubbed his free hand over his face tiredly.

"Home? I just woke up," Steve said. It was weird that he was fully dressed, he thought dazedly, but it wouldn't be the first time he's passed out drunk in his street clothes. Was he wearing this shirt yesterday? He could've sworn he'd worn the navy one.

"What? Just now? It's like five in the evening!"

"Huh. That'd explain the weird dream," Steve mumbled.

"Was it the one where you get seduced by a giant squid? Because I don't need to know more about your weird tentacle fetish."

"I don't have a tentacle fetish! I had the dream ONE time, and I wasn't being seduced, I was getting drowned and it was terrifying!"

"To-may-to, to-mah-to."

"Whatever, this one was weirder anyway."

"I find that hard to believe but now I'm morbidly curious. Hit me with it."

"...I don't remember."

"There goes my entertainment for the evening."

"Was there a reason you called, Robin?"

"Yes! I met this girl named Chrissy and I swear Steve, she's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen..."

Beautiful. Steve had the faint impression of dark eyes and silver rings, but it was quickly washed away like a child's sandcastle in the tide under the onslaught of Robin's ramblings. As he listened to his best friend, he couldn't help but feel there was something he'd forgotten. There was something he'd been planning on doing today, wasn't there...?

...oh, well. If it was really important, he'd remember eventually.

[existingingrey]

Married your honor.

Damn, what a picky bastard, seriously.

백공죽 Expanded Version.

[staygoldpbj]

a variety of marlie (aka micah foster x charlie torres-moore) (aka trevor's greaser and josh's greaser) screenshots from the gma performance <3 i'm so obsessed with them

(credit it @elisadoreyou for their name and characters and being insane abt them with meeee <3)

[toasterhasabucket]

They killed. Girl boss Frederick, Beverly, and freddie.... what has this world come to..

What the freak dude 😞

I'm still not over Abigail being dead either

Curse you cruel world .....

👎👎👎 get peter out of jail NOW, I would have done worse than put my social worker in a horse

Anyways, rip Randall I suppose

[vaperarmand]

one of the craziest things about twelveclara is that they (a little bit) inadvertently made doctor who an EXTREMELY sensual show. this is first and foremost because of some intentionally scripted moments, and i think it also has a lot to do with peter and jenna’s chemistry and twelve’s gravitas as a character. but the main thing to me is the fact that they don’t kiss at all. because doctor who overall tries to toe the line between “having to write explicit romantic relationships every season that ultimately end��� and “not writing emotionally or romantically compelling characters at all” by just making all the romance very casual. each doctor kisses multiple people! there are frequent references to romantic & sexual exploits the doctor’s had with various historical figures & alien beings! these largely feel like “joke” kisses — ie rose and ten kissing in new earth when it’s technically cassandra in rose’s body. they depict a kiss, but the kiss itself doesn't count because of some extenuating circumstance, or it's played for laughs.

that basically drops off with twelve for a handful of reasons. but then there's undoubtedly a budding romance between clara and the doctor, and it would damage a lot of integrity if the same kind of halfhearted jokey canon happened. so instead it’s just like … subtle touches and knowing glances and devastating codependency and nowhere for it to go but to expand between them and turn into basically like. the sexiest thing on television

[cureofthenonesense]

Fujin being a girl in mk1 and (possibly) having a crush on Kung Lao is not something I had on my bingo card

[bonnie-the-mutt]

I wish more people in the agere community asked to use petnames/nicknames !!!!!!!!!!!!!! it's so freaking uncomfy !!! I'm not ur shnookums lovey pookie bear !!! I'm 6 years old !!!!!! /nm /dra

regression ≠ consent !!!!!!

[designernishiki]

tbh it really feels to me that y3 was implying/hinting at minedai having had at least some sort of under the radar romantic relationship, rather than just mine alone having an extreme one-sided obsession with daigo– like… based on how daigo talks to him and how immediately concerned he is for mine, all of which right after mine admits outright that he Loves (capital L) him to kiryu and all that… it feels more like a reveal of their relationship having been romantic than a reveal of mine’s feelings alone. I need to lay down

[nyquilfishtank]

listen i TRY to be normal about shows but i can't help but begin to write a half-analysis on human passion and how it drives people to community and isolation through the lens of characters who are barely mentioned in the show at all and the view they have of their major character siblings

[moomoocowmaid]

Why do you hate me? Why you want me to die a slow and informationless death? Feed me your fun facts please.. like the numbers on the back of your credit card…

[chaos-has-theories]

I FINALLY read The Unwanted Guest yesterday! And by "read" I mean "did a reading", I got to do Ianthe, none if us had read the script beforehand, and we randomly improvised with chairs to follow the scene instructions, it was absolutely glorious.

ANYWAY. I cannot decide what is hotter: Palamedes in his terrible half-burnt suit and the cigarette he doesn't know why he's holding, or Ianthe with her maid/butler routine.

Believe me, no one is more horrified to realize this than me.

[moeblob]

I really thought maybe no one would notice me not drawing Felix for his bday AND I WAS CAUGHT by @jackalopedread before I could log off for the night. I knew and tried to ignore it, let it slip under the radar... despite waking up expecting Felix to be my art victim today.

[bbq-potato-chip]

nooooo stop it im gonna cry

[ddaz3d-and-cc0nfused]

for pride month i think cm: evolution s17 emily prentiss should kiss me!!

thank you.

[bea-schuyler]

i smell a fuckin cash-grab..i smell nepotism..i smell the same disney rap song written by lmm...i smell another awful reboot..i smell a last ditch attempt for an oscar or grammy...

[flalftherat]

‼️‼️THE DATE GOT CHANGED ITS FEBRUARY 26 TO MARCH 3 NOW‼️‼️

Copy paste from Instagram erm, reblogs very appreciated

OK SO doing something new and making one of them ship weeks for these guys. Rules are simple: draw/write something relating to the prompts for each day. You can do something for each day or you can like pick and choose which ones you do idc.

You can either post ur work here or send it to me personally. If you post it plz use the #femmegymshippingweek2024 to make sure I see it n stuff.

Mild gore is allowed WITH PROPER WARNINGS; suggestive stuff is fine but no outright nsfw.

Putting this here now to give ppl time to prepare n yknow. Idk what else so uh yea have fun and also don't feel pressured to make something every day, this is just some silly fun.

Also uh the last thing I drew in 2023

Under the cut bc it’s dumb and a bonus whateva