#should probably make an RE theme someday

[godnectar]

replaying re8 rn only to see my fav pretty ladies 🥹👌

[bingbongsupremacy]

How To Kiss

Pairing: Ellie Williams x reader

Warnings: Confusion about Sexuality. I've never actually read a teen magazine so idk if they had shit like this. Sounded good. Ellie and Reader are like teens in this rn. It's going to fast forward to when they're older in the part 2 im going to do.

I haven't had my first kiss yet. Hopefully someday bros.

Summary: The day you and Ellie discovered you were both gay.

Song: I kissed a girl - Katy Perry

(Btw Credit to Liv McConnel at teen vogue for the kissing steps. I took them from there. )

Also Joel works at an Auto Shop in this.

*Not Proof Read* TLOU Masterlist

Pt. 1 Pt. 2 Pt. 3

*****

My fingers brush over the shiny pages of Savage Starlight. Ellie quietly hums along while tapping her foot on her space themed bed cover.

" Fuck no. " Ellie mutters, flipping the page of the comic. " That ass. " She whispers.

A small grin makes its way onto my face. Ellie's habit of talking to herself while reading her comics is the funniest thing.

I finish the book and turn to look at my best friend. Her brows furrow in concentration. Her top teeth softly bite down on her lower lip, her gaze focused on the pages in front of her. She lets out a sigh and shuts the comic, glancing over at me. " I can't believe we have to wait until next month for the next book. I need to know now! " Ellie complains with a huff.

" I know! " I turn my gaze up at the ceiling. " At least we have the rest of the books to re-read. "

Ellie hums in agreement. " What should we do now? Joel's not going to be home for another hour. He's bringing pizza. "

Ellie's adoptive father was working a late shift at the auto shop he worked at.

" Nice! " I sit up and turn to her. " Guess what I snagged from my sister. " I smirk while pulling open my brightly colored backpack.

" Um uh a dog? "

I roll my eyes. " Why the hell would I keep a dog in my backpack for so long, Ellie. "

Ellie shrugs and leans back against her headboard. " Variety is the spice of life. "

I chuckle. " What the fuck. "

I pull out a teen magazine. " It's a girl magazine thing! My sister has like seventy of these from when she was younger. I found them when I was snooping around this morning! " I grin while flipping through the pages. I open up to a page of Justin Bieber. " Justin Bieber is in like almost all of these! "

Ellie crinkles her nose. " Bro not Justin. "

I roll my eyes and toss one of the magazines to her. " I thought we could look at them. "

We flip through the pages of the magazines. We take some quizzes (All of which Ellie makes fun of) and read some of the advice.

" How To Kiss " Ellie reads out loud. " What the hell. " She goes to turn the page.

" Wait! Let's read it. " I reach for the magazine.

" Why? It's not like you have a boyfriend. " Ellie smirks.

I glare at the girl. " Fuck you, Ellie. I just want to read it, okay? Who knows, we might need that in the future? "

" Fine. " Ellie sighs. " Fine. "

The two of you huddle around the brightly colored magazine.

1. Build up to the kiss.

2. Make sure the kiss has your, and the other party’s, consent.

3. Start things slow.

4. Keep your mouth soft and relaxed.

5. Switch your area of focus and/or your speed.

6. Speaking of area of focus — move things away from their lips.

7. Go easy on the tongue.

8. Don’t overthink it.

9. Talk about it afterward!

" Doesn't sound that hard. I literally could've told you that. " Ellie mutters. " Kissing isn't a hard concept. "

I continue on reading through the different categories. " But like, it seems hard. How do you know if the other person likes it? "

Ellie grabs a small ball from her bedside table and starts throwing it up into the air. " They'll probably tell you. "

" Have you had your first kiss? " I ask while watching the other girl curiously. She would've told me if she'd been kissed, right? I mean, we tell each other everything. It's always been that way, always will be that way.

Ellie pauses throwing the ball and glances down at me. " No. " She admits, a small blush crawling onto her cheeks. " But I mean, kissing can't be that hard. It's like...common sense. People do it all the time. "

I frown. " What if I'm a bad kisser? "

" You won't be. " Ellie shakes her head. " Stop reading that shit, it's getting in your head. Let's just do something else. Like watch a movie or something. "

" Seriously tho, El. What if I'm a bad kisser. What if the person I kiss is so horrified by my kissing, they leave me? " A million scenarios run through my head.

Ellie lets out a groan. " Oh my god. Will you just stop. You're going to be a fine kisser. " Ellie meets your gaze. " Look, if...if you want to...we could like I don't know. Practice or something. " A tinge of red spreads over Ellie's cheeks. She avoids my gaze, instead staring straight at the magazine.

I look at her in shock. Kissing Ellie? I'd be lying if I said I never had thoughts of kissing her before...but everyone has thoughts, right? I mean Ellie's eyes are some of the prettiest I've ever seen. She's definitely attractive. But I like boys. I think. Plus Ellie's not gay. Right?

Ellie shifts uncomfortably. " Never mind, that was-that was stupid of me to offer. Let's just watch a show-"

" No. " I shake my head. " Let's do it. I mean, we both need practice. " Suddenly it feels like my heart starts pounding faster. My fingers feel the urge to fidget with something out of pure anxiety.

Ellie nods and moves the magazine to the side. She positions herself in front of me, on her knees. Ellie eyes meet with mine before she glances down at the magazine, obviously looking over the steps.

I'm about to comment on her hypocrisy when she suddenly puts her hand on my chin. She draws her face close to mine. Her minty breath fans over my mouth, causing me to freeze in anticipation.

Ellie slowly leans in. In seconds, I feel her warm lips on mine.

My heart feels like it explodes. Butterflies seem to soar around my stomach, confusing me. What am I feeling? What is this? How is this happening?

My eyes study Ellie's relaxed face. Her eyes are closed. Her long brown lashes rest peacefully on her cheeks. Deciding to follow her lead, I try to relax. I close my eyes and follow her slow mouth movements.

All worries and thoughts of mine seem to melt away. What are the steps again? I don't remember?

We spend who knows how long kissing before Ellie starts to speed up. She places a small kiss on the corner of my lip before pulling away panting.

The loss of her lips leaves a pit of disappoints in my stomach. I ignore it and look up at her eyes.

An unfamiliar expression is sprawled on her face. Maybe realization?

" That was.." Ellie begins.

" Not bad. " I grin.

Ellie chuckles. " Yeah. Not bad. " Ellie shuts off the radio and turns on the small tv on her dresser. " What should we watch? "

_______

We never kissed again after that. Things remained the same. Ellie and I still hung out every Friday at her house to read comics and watch movies. We sat together at school with Dina and Jesse.

The only things that changed were my feelings. I started to develop a crush on Ellie, not that I could ever act on it. Ellie didn't like me back.

It wouldn't matter anyways. Ellie's sister Sarah ended up getting really sick, causing Ellie's family to move to another state to get better care for her. Somewhere along the line we stopped talking. Slowly, calls every day turned to calls once a week and eventually to once a year.

I get it. Life goes on. I'm in the past. Friendships die. Nothing lasts forever.

[caputgeratlupinum]

In which I (re) watch Robin of Sherwood

In the dim and distant past (of a few years ago) I started watching Robin of Sherwood. I dropped out after the end of season 2, when *events* happened (if you know, you know).

Anyway, this to say that I started watching it again, and I thought it would be fun to record my reactions to it. I remember it as being a good if slightly silly show, so... we'll see how it holds up.

EPISODE ONE - ROBIN HOOD AND THE SORCERER (PART 1)

We are starting off strong with the Ominous Bad Guy theme that sent me back to the last time I watched this with the force of a hammer (this show has about five soundtracks and they all come up like once an episode).

Our introduction to adult Robin is him running to the top of a... something, I'm not sure if it's a hill or a ledge or what. Anyway he runs there, stops, and screams 'MUCH!'. Which must be wildly confusing if you're not familiar with Robin Hood.

ITVX doesn't let me take screenshots (tragically) but I need you all to know that Guy of Gisborne looks about twelve and speaks like he went to fancy boarding school.

Hi Will Scarlet I have fond memories of you from last time! And I think this might be the first time he's 'scarlet' as in 'bloody' rather than named for his hair or clothes. Also the second Will tells them his name another man steps out of the shadows to introduce himself like he's desperate to get in on the action.

ROBERT! ROBERT! BY CHRIST ROBERT I WILL NOT LOSE MY FISHPOND! 10/10 introduction no notes. Genius move to give the Sheriff an annoying brother in the form of Abbot (??) Hugo.

Sheriff duties: keep on top of the poachers in the forest, and meet with the evil sorcerer baron and his... possessed slave? I'm vague on what position Little John holds here.

Sorry, Sir Evil Baron (yes I know his name is Simon de Bellame. I'm ignoring that), but I don't believe for a second that your wife taking her own life was nothing to do with you.

Did I mention Marian and Tuck are here? They are! I love them both very much.

I can't believe they that they just leave Rat Man and Arthur behind. I demand a spin-off about what happened to them.

'You're like a May morning.' *climbs out the window without another word* I mean to be fair to Robin if I tried that line I'd probably also flee immediately afterwards.

I really wish I could do screenshots because Herne the Hunter's vision of various events with Evil Baron's face over it all, slowly getter bigger and bigger, is truly a sight to behold. Robin honestly took that pretty well.

The classic bridge fight is very enjoyable but I am haunted by the knowledge of the blooper reel where Michael Praed gets hit in the balls. And Robin's dramatic scream as he falls off the bridge is sending me.

Last time I wasn't really sure how to feel about the Herne the Hunter stuff, and right now I'm in the same place. uhh... stag-man. With vague prophecies. I dunno... 'when the horned one possesses me' ok but who are you when he's not possessing you? How does one become possessed by the horned one in the first place (I know none of this is the point. I just have questions!)

If I were one of the merry men, I would find it easier to agree with Robin's Heroic Inspiring SpeechTM if it hadn't started with him explaining how he's been 'awakened' by a deer-headed man.

I feel like Will saying, 'You should have killed him. You'll have to someday.' is setting up for a conflict down the line where Robin has to make a Choice about Gisborne some day, but I don't remember any such plot.

aaand that's it! I didn't mention every single thing that happened, there's a lot happening in this episode. Genuinely had a good time though! Despite my poking fun at stuff, I do actually like this show.

[darkscaleswriter]

palinoia for the director's cut asks? 👀

(ask for a director’s cut on any of my fics!)

omg I haven't re-read Palinoia in years, when I opened my doc for it I got slapped in the face by times new roman bc this is from before i switched to writing in calibri instead lmfao. anyway time loop fic!! i had a lot of fun experimenting with style in this one, trying to capture the low-grade horror of being trapped in time and dying again and again and again. not sure i totally succeeded, but i liked writing it at least!! i'm especially proud of the bit that's a series of vignettes that descend into repeated "reset, reset, reset" lines, i think that part really conveyed what i wanted it to. it's still satisfying to read again after 6-ish years :D

(continued under the cut)

shadow link is so fun to write, he's a classic antagonist turned antihero type character and i love it. i also have a huge soft spot for him bc loz four swords was one of my first fandoms and is probably my oldest one at this point, so he's an og blorbo for me haha. (clenches fist) someday I will treat myself and get physical copies of the manga. someday…

at any rate, i'm re-reading palinoia and kind of laughing at myself about how the key to shadow breaking out of the timeloop was just. teamwork makes the dream work, lol. including using items from past Heroes bc i like the idea of items from previous games still hanging around odd corners of hyrule. i don't think i planned it that way but it's extremely in line with the themes i tend to write ^.^'

and zelda gets to join in! past me even left a helpful note on the doc explaining that zelda gets to be there bc instead of sending that dark cloud thing to take her like in the manga, ganon got distracted by vaati being vacuumed and wasn't able to stop the links from breaking her out. i am also now realizing that i never explained what happened to vaati beyond "vacuumed into a giant gust jar" and if i had plans for that, I didn't write them down. so… i guess he just lives there, now? maybe the links go back and smash the mirror after shadow's fully revived as his own being without being tied to it? maybe the jar was sealed away to become the next hero of courage's problem??

if I was going to rewrite this fic, i think it would be interesting to add a section where shadow gets desperate and tries to recruit vaati. maybe there would be 2 villain turned antihero characters surviving to the end…? or vaati is too power-hungry to go for it and betrays shadow at the last second, if he doesn't refuse and/or kill shadow outright for being a traitor. i think the last minute betrayal version would be a good loop to lead into a deleted scene where shadow straight up just hides in the dark mirror for a loop and refuses to engage, up until the links make it to the tower and are like "hey tf is this giant mirror and should we break it or something"

that deleted scene never got finished, i'm guessing bc it was leading up to shadow letting the links smash the mirror without ever revealing that he was inside (rip). based when where i was in life when i wrote this fic, i probably wasn't in a headspace to get quite that dark. i think there's a difference between considering your death an acceptable sacrifice in a fight to prevent a supervillain from taking over the kingdom and not caring about your death happening bc depression, y'know?

there's another deleted scene where shadow has a much more dramatic death that involves him fighting vaati in single combat himself, and ending the fight by chucking a bomb at the dark mirror to kill them both. i think that was vaguely what the final loop was supposed to be before the gust jar idea, and there was a whole bit with vio where vio is extra upset as shadow is dying in his arms bc shadow promised earlier not to kill vaati via the mirror. whoops, he lied! he went after vaati on purpose and planned that from the start! what a normal and mentally stable thing to do, shadow.

that ending was cut more because it ended up too close to canon, i'm pretty sure, and i wanted the final loop to be something more unique. shadow needed to do something different than his original ending to break out of the loop, so the full canon divergence had to happen.

shadow still died very briefly at the end of the final loop, when zelda had him throw a bomb full of triforce light at ganon, but at that point the goddesses were like "okay we'll call that having learned your lesson" and brought him back quickly enough that nobody realized he was gone. potentially including himself! i'm not sure that shadow ever consciously realized it was the goddesses farore, nayru, and din that put him in the time loop, but after it ended, he was just glad to be done with it and decided not to ask too many questions that could potentially make them change their minds haha.

re: the goddesses, i think the reason they took an interest in shadow to begin with (self-sacrificial death for the four sword heroes aside) is because shadow was created using the power of the triforce. he's one of theirs, sort of, at a sideways angle to how link and zelda and ganon are. close enough for them to meddle with, and idk maybe din was being extra salty at this incarnation of ganon for creating an entire sentient person and then treating him Like That. rip ganon for annoying his triforce piece's patron goddess, lol.

shadow was created from the dark mirror using the triforce of power as wielded by ganon, and my general headcanon is that shadow link literally did not exist until the events of the four swords manga when he is born from the dark mirror. he doesn't have link's memories, but he knows link's personality and remembers feelings/impressions/etc. and, since shadow was created with the triforce of power, he carries of sliver of it with him in a similar way to how each of the links carries pieces of the triforce of courage. part of the reason he's drawn to the links is because like calls to like. shadow was made in part from the triforce of power, but in the image of the bearer of the triforce of courage. the only part he's missing is wisdom, but at the end of his final loop, he does get caught in the blast of zelda's triforce power bomb, so… :3c

at the end of the fic, when shadow notes that he has the triforce on his hand, i left it deliberately vague about whether that was actually the full triforce or not. i don't remember if i had a clear answer in my head for this, but i suspect he shares pieces with the other links and zelda, bc i like the idea of them being all connected like that. regardless, what triforce piece(s) he has are what allowed him to sever his connection to the dark mirror and hang out in the sunlight without burning up like a vampire. he takes a lot of catnaps in sunbeams now that he doesn't have to worry about that haha.

anyway thank you so much for asking about Palinoia, it was really fun to go back and remember how much i enjoyed writing it. and i'm SUPER flattered that you read my fic to begin with!! i am so in love with your god of war time travel au, it lives rent-free in my head at any given moment.

thank you again!!! :D

[sonnetnumber23]

Good Omens 2 Re-watch. Episode 5.

“You leave me with no alternative” – says Aziraphale to the musician preparing to promise to give him a book for free.

[Love the Doctor Who theme playing in the background, hehe]

“Nina and Maggie are depending on me. They just don’t know it yet.”

First of all, all those jokes about Aziraphale organizing a ball to dance with Crowley are actually very true. And I don’t think he’s doing it just to hold Crowley’s hand – he really wants to see Nina falling in love with Maggie so that he himself could believe that Crowley might open up to him someday at last. Again: he wants to have control over something; he wants to feel that he is capable to make someone happy, and to deal with his own problems himself too.

Secondly, Aziraphale could have just as well made all those people come to the ball – after all he made those men in suits leave his bookshop and never return – but he chooses to negotiate with them, manipulate them, but let them come on their own free will. He’s basically tempting them all, but “They don’t have to say yes,” as Crowley once put it. And Crowley is following him around watching this.

***

I love speeches they do in Hell. :D Dagon in the first season, now Shax. :D No wonder, Crowley was the one to record the greeting message. XD

***

Nina talking to Crowley is so much gentler than when she’s with anybody else. Both here and later when she tells his about Lindsay leaving. You just see how she feels him and relates to him. It’s like it’s easier for her to talk to someone for whom everything is harder than for most of other people. She’s all prickly with Maggie and Aziraphale because quite often they act like the world is a happy place made of rainbows and unicorns with kind people all around you. Compared to that Crowley must seem kind of more real to her, or at least less annoying, huh.

And God, oh God, Crowley’s face after that conversation. How can a person show so much emotion with their dark glasses on?

***

The scene on the terrace of the French restaurant leaves me with a whole bunch of complicated feelings. They’ve probably all been described already, but if I try to lay them out for myself…

The first time I watched I didn’t even pay that much attention to the “smitten” joke, because I was a bit disturbed by how little attention Aziraphale pays to Crowley’s concerns. “You’re being silly” is not the way you should calm down your demon, Aziraphale!

But, as I looked through the gifs later, and now during the re-watch, I came to realize that this moment also shows me that side of Aziraphale that I’ve been trying to feel and describe in these posts.

Now, we’ve got this “smitten” joke, which everyone likes to mention, and it’s great because it’s just in the middle of two POV’s, so to speak.

When Crowley starts talking, he’s damn serious. Though he doesn’t talk directly about all his concerns, he’s still very much in the state where he wants Aziraphale to listen to him, to hear his worries. “I spent last night worrying… He could smite me…” I wonder if little part of Crowley wishes in this moment that Aziraphale would think of the danger he’s putting Crowley in and give in, and give up his stupid idea to hide Gabriel further – at least for Crowley’s sake, and this way Crowley might keep him safe.

But then Crowley happens to stumble upon this unserious linguistic matter – “smote… smited?” – and his whole rant is compromised, as if he is too afraid himself to sound too pleading too desperate. Remember, he did completely the same when he was going to ask Aziraphale for holy water. “Walls have ear… trees have ears… ducks have ears. Do ducks have ears?” – absolutely the same. Poor boy, he just can’t speak seriously about his own fears, the danger he is in. :’( Too nervous, too afraid to ask… T_T

Crowley is known for talking a lot about how he is selfish and values his own existence above all, and yet he is always the first to take huge risks to save others. Like in every single historical minisode this season, and several times in the first season too.

And here he suddenly bares his fears to Aziraphale hoping that the angel would see that if Crowley is afraid then it’s serious and he should be afraid too.

But the thing is that he gets a completely opposite effect.

Aziraphale suddenly feels more confident. He feels responsible, and therefore he feels the strength he needs to carry out this responsibility. We’ve already seen him like this: when he tries to snap Crowley out of his panic after Warlock’s birthday and come up with a plan, at the end of the world in season 1 starting with the refusal to fight the war and further; we’ll see it later, when he “does the thing with the halo” because nothing else and no one else is helping.

And he enjoys it. You can clearly see it while he’s convincing Crowley that he has nothing to fear. It’s not because Aziraphale is oblivious of the danger or doesn’t care about Crowley’s safety. He does, he’s just met Shax after all. He just can’t help and enjoy the feeling of being brave and sure and ready to act and protect – for once. He wants it so much – to feel capable, to feel competent. I wrote in the previous rewatch posts why.

We’re so used to the (head)canon that Aziraphale loves playing damsel in distress and letting Crowley save him. But this season states it quite clearly – if partly as a joke – that he does it for Crowley more than for himself. “Saving me makes him so happy.” That’s a joke, because Aziraphale knows perfectly well that most of those times he did need saving. But whether he does or doesn’t need saving, Aziraphale is always ready to admit that Crowley has done something wonderful. He knows Crowley loves it. And Aziraphale knows he would love it too. “There must be something I could do for you.”

So yeah, maybe he is a bit intoxicated by this feeling, maybe he is too sure and optimistic about Gabriel, maybe his plan is a bit rubbish (though let’s admit – the ball plan worked better than Crowley’s rain plan), but his motives are pure.

[Oh God, I wish so much to finally see a situation where Crowley would have to rely on Aziraphale for something big and Aziraphale will be capable enough to save the day and Crowley…]

***

Should we or do we even have to talk about all the moments where people call Crowley nice in this season? Apart from Aziraphale, there’s Jim and Mrs Sandwich and really Nina would do so too if she wasn’t Nina. It’s so… On one hand, it’s for fans and all, and it works – I do a little delighted noise every time Crowley can’t help being nice and someone mentions it.

[My theory is that there wasn’t enough nice and deep Crowley in S1, so now we’re getting what they owed us.]

On the other hand, doesn’t it sound a bit like foreshadowing to you? Or, like the things we ought to pay attention to. Crowley doing good just because “why not” and because “I do what I please”, kind of proves Aziraphale’s point which is: Crowley hasn’t ever been bad, he deserves Heaven as much as (if not more than) other angels do.

***

I’m really not a fan of Aziraphale messing with people’s emotions. I know he means well, but making people feel fine and even happy while they have all reasons to be upset looks far too much as robbing them of their free will.

That’s a bit like the thing he does with Crowley at the end, isn’t it – thinking he can make him happy even if Crowley doesn’t want it, thinking he knows better what’s best for him.

And this is such a striking contrast with the beginning of the episode where Aziraphale goes to great lengths to get people come to the party on their own free will.

Again, I think this comes from the notion that this time round he’s responsible, he has an idea, and he is so excited to see it work, to be able to save the day. For once. He enjoys being in charge so much, he even asks Crowley to go out so that he can surprise him with the new bookshop look later.

The same comes for the ending where Aziraphale is so happy to be the savior that he doesn’t even listen to the person he’s trying to save.

I can understand him, I know how easy it is to cross this line and not even notice it, especially when you’re feeling euphoric about something.

But of course it was wrong both times. It even reminds of that horrible moment in S1 when Adam makes his friends smile while they’re crying.

***

The whole atmosphere of the ball surrounded by demons is so NeilGaimany, it suddenly feels as if the stakes are higher than you expected. At least for a moment. I must say I like it that in the end it turned out that no humans were hurt after all.

Crowley throwing himself between Maggie and the demons is a moment that makes me jump a little. It’s not Aziraphale, Aziraphale isn’t even around to be impressed, and Crowley doesn’t know yet who those ominous creatures are – and his instinct is to defend the human and to stop something bad from happening.

And oh how much I love the fact that Crowley talks to those demons as someone of a higher rank! :D I love being reminded that Crowley was cool and actually very high-up in Hell. And he still has a lot more power than average demons or angels.

[I really suspect that one of the reasons I liked this season so much on the first watch was because it gave me all my favourite things about Crowley, lol.]

***

Aziraphale looking at Maggie while she and Nina are dancing – there’s so much gentleness and hope, and longing in that face! He wants the same for himself so much. And he hopes for it.

At the same time Crowley is worrying crazy, the whole weight of all these people’s fates on his shoulders. And Aziraphale isn’t listening to him. There’s already a lot of great heartbreaking meta about the way they keep things from each other and then not listening when the other one tries to talk.

I just want to stress how brilliantly the POV in this scene is done: with Aziraphale, we desperately want Crowley to take his hand and dance and talk and appreciate the beautiful thing he’s created to solve their problem (because as Aziraphale sees it, if they fool Heavens, Gabriel won’t be discovered – he doesn’t know yet that Shax has already acted on her threat). And with Crowley, we get frustrated with Aziraphale for not listening, for acting recklessly and putting them all in danger. And at the same time both of them just want to hold hands. XD

And then it’s Aziraphale who puts himself between Shax and the humans (and Crowley). He is confident and I like it just as much as I like cool and bossy Crowley. And when Gabriel volunteers to go out Aziraphale says he will protect him because he promised, and he’s still doing it with his confident, guardian-angel voice, which even sounds a little bit lower than his usual voice. He has it in him – the Aziraphale he wants to be: brave, competent, true to his word. And it comes naturally to him, even though he doesn’t always have resources to keep fighting.

There’s such sad irony that we’ve heard him be like that when he defends the Earth, humans, Gabriel. But we’ve never heard or seen him defending Crowley, have we? We’ve actually seen him defending other things and people from Crowley. Which is just… Uuuugh! Again, it’s all so natural: he sees Crowley as equal, even as someone stronger, cleverer, cooler – so Crowley doesn’t need, can’t need Aziraphale’s protection, not in this way, surely?

I hope so much that we’re yet to see Aziraphale putting Crowley above all else and defending him with all he has. I’m sure Crowley’s going to explode. Or at least I will.

***

[On a side not: I wonder whose clothes were the suit and the furry coat the Gabriel is wearing at the party? :D Did Aziraphale just have them in the bookshop?? Why?? XD]

***

Ahaha, hellish bureaucracy and Crowley’s bluff is just so Good Omens, I love it.

But he isn’t listening to Aziraphale just as Aziraphale didn’t listen to him. :( Well, he’s absolutely got his reasons: Aziraphale has put them all in danger, and after all demons are Crowley’s field of expertise. But still. It leaves Aziraphale again feeling his failure, feeling that he’s just been put back in his place.

I think the joke “saving me makes him so happy” is both a joke and Aziraphale’s little attempt to get back some of his self-esteem before the inevitable battle and after he’s just been put down by Nina. It’s interesting how Nina’s words echo in Shax’s line later in E6 “…Crowley’s moral support angel”.

Earlier I wrote about Aziraphale robbing humans and Crowley of their own free will. So here we kind of see the reason why he doesn’t see how wrong this is: people keep pointing out that he has no will of his own. And it’s a sore spot. Because on one hand he’s spent his whole eternity being told that his opinion and actions don’t matter. And on the other, he keeps relying on Crowley, because he doesn’t find it bad to rely on someone he loves and trusts. Just like he wishes he could rely on God. And that’s why he can’t see his error: he’s doing what’s in these people’s interests, he’s saving them, surely they’ll be happy to entrust their lives and will to someone who loves them?? Aziraphale would be. He always is.

I know some of these conclusions contradict each other but that’s because the characters’ feelings are so conflicted. They feel so much at every given second, and they have so much background that is not easy to shake off.

[cellarrentalsvhs]

Hey all, Rev here, hesitantly re-entering the found footage community. But you probably don't know me, so I'll explain a bit.

An Unfortunately Necessary Disclaimer

I am affiliated with nothing. This is a fan account. I have projects I wanna make, I might share stuff about em, I'll make that explicitly clear. A friend of mine got hit with several copyright strikes from Studio71 for having the nerve to make a fan film based on the concept of V/H/S. (I made a cameo in the retooled sequel.) So I reiterate, anything I post is owned by the respective creators, NOT ME.

History

For those who don't know (probably all of you) Cellar Rentals VHS began as @/vhscultist on Instagram in September 2022 to keep up with news about the then upcoming V/H/S/99. I fell deep into a found footage phase after watching 94 (Raatma my beloved 🖤) and just wanted a place to compile news. Then people attached to the series started following me, so I started covering news & anniversaries related to the series, until I got bored in the... offseason? Between 99 & 85, I went for a more general found footage theme. Then I got bored and inactive, and decided I didn't wanna keep up with news. I deactivated without warning. But I think I still wanna be around, and Tumblr permits you to be a lot more... passive with posting.

Contents of This Blog

If you've read my bio, I'm dedicating this page to what I've elected to call ephemeral horror. Found footage, analog horror, digital horror, horror films on old VHS tapes, technothrillers, basically I know it when I see it. If you like fuzzy footage of freaky guys, you're at home here.

As far as offering warnings, I'll do my best. I'm sorry, I'm forgetful. Things like body horror will get tagged as such without a tw, as there are not only people who want to avoid it, but there are also people seeking it out, while things like blood will get a tw, as it should be expected if you're following me, but plenty of people don't wanna see that.

Ok, But Who Are You Exactly?

Valid question. My name's Reverend Ray, I really like movies (especially genre film), I wanna make some someday. Right now I'm kinda just floating through life unfortunately. I'm an avid physical media collector and, when I feel it's necessary, digital archivist. If you wanna see any of my takes on movies or other random garbage you can find my Linktree in the pinned post of my main Tumblr (linked at the top of this post.)

Some of my favorite films that meet the criteria for this blog are V/H/S/94, The Blair Witch Project, 8MM, Videodrome, Gonjiam: Haunted Asylum, Ring, & Deadstream. Some horror webseries I like include The Monument Mythos (one of my all time hyperfixations tbh), Daisy Brown, Lacey's Games, Winter of 83, Midwest Angelica, They Lie Above, & RHKQ. Obviously, those are nowhere near comprehensive. If you'd like to know more about me or my taste, or recommend me something, or tell me I should die or whatever, my askbox is open!

DNI?

Honestly, if I don't want you here I'll probably just block you. Idc anymore. I would *discourage* minors from interacting or following, but I'm not gonna enforce it.

TERFs, right wingers, racists, incels, other assorted bigots & dickheads, y'all just fuck off. Block me before I block you.

The rest of you, enjoy your stay!

[snailslunchpail]

EEE SNAIL!! i’m sorry last week was super rough on you ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ be proud you got through it!!~ i love love love banana flavoured stuff i think it’s so underrated! how were the muffins? one thing i reallyyy miss about being in school is the build up to winter/summer break. i know not everyone celebrates christmas but everyone would always be so excited up until the last day (≧▽≦) humans are cute like that

i will not tell star she is a trend setter… psst ^^ that’s me in the snow (REAL!)

i haven’t been doing anything fun but it finally snowed!!! it never snows in the uk (-д-。) i made my parents take a walk with me while it was still snowing but i have the worlds worst cold now (T＿T) promise me u will never take breathing through ur nose easy for granted…..

the figures look SO so cute!!!! i love ur list.. the re-ment + house so you can set em up in little scenes… not sure if i was the only kid that did this but i would spend hours setting up my calico critters houses just to make em look nice and then i wouldn’t even play with them (๑´ㅂ`๑) i just liked makin sure they had a cute house to live in!

would you want a modern doll house?? or a themed one? or a wooden one? Σ(･口･) i would love to be a doll or a toy and just have a little room.. something about small things… waa

+ to answer your question i would really really love the calico critters lavender rabbit family .. it’s a japan exclusive though T_T id love to have the ‘art of ghibli’ books! have you seen them? i think id want ponyo + howls moving castle versions most because i love the art of both movies SO much… rement.. tiny food.. ohehehe…. i would die for a little re-ment set…

HAIII BELOVED CAPPA IM BACK!! ⸜ (｡˃ ᵕ ˂) ⸝ so sorry this took me so long to respond to !

but tysm for the sweet words!! things have definitely gotten better recently + at the time of writing this tomorrow is christmas!!! YAHOOOO ( / >ヮ< )/

GRAHH YES i love banana flavored baked goods!!! & the muffins turned out really well! :D i should make some banana chocolate chip cookies sometime bc that sounds delicious ..

BUT YAHH the build up to christmas is always really fun in school! (minus the finals) but it was really sweet cus one of my electives is being an assistant in the counciling office and they got us hot coco and mini donuts it was sooo sweet !! ( ˃̵ᴗ˂̵ ) ♡

also that IS u in the snow, #SO REAL!

SNOWWW that is so so cool!!! but yah omg i imagine that must be uncomfortable- >_<!!

AWEEE thats so precious tho!!! they rlly just itch a certain part of my brain !!! GRAH i adore the calico critter doll houses tho id also love to have something like these i think ?? just something with an open face! AND LITERALLY OMG i would be so content as a silly little toy

the lavender calico critters are absolutely adorable.. and the art of ghibli book sounds so cute!! i think ive seen similar ones, i bet they'd be so fun to flip though! i have a couple artbooks myself of video games i like + some artists and i adore them sm!! i really want to collect some more magazines tho (i got a bit inspired by tamakid ofc) bc the japanese kids magazines just look so fun !? AHH PONYO AND HMC THO i feel like ive said this before but ponyo is my fav and i wanna name an orange cat after her someday ^__^

ANYWAYS i love ur ideas !!! they all sound too cute and ty for the ask again it was very fun to answer :D i hope ur having a great holiday season! and merry christmas if u celebrate, i'll probably be popping in ur ask box to send u a lil christmas message soon !! :3

[thunderstomm]

MLP G5's New Elements?

I wanted to specifically talk about this "leak" before the trailer drops, so, any theories made in this post may be busted within a few hours. This post discusses lore from G4, and theories for G5 of My Little Pony.

Recently, a card game has surfaced, featuring the MLP G5 cast. The game is seemingly average, except for one thing; which was the assigned "themes" for each of the Mane 5.

For anybody who cannot see the image; Sunny - Hope Izzy - Creativity Hitch - Kindness Pipp - Confidence Zipp - Courage

These could possibly be new incarnations of the Elements of Harmony. However, unlike the elements, these traits don't follow the theme of "traits that make a good friend", rather, they instead embody what are most likely the core traits of the Mane 5 ponies, and their roles in re-uniting the 3 primary pony species.

Next, I'd love to talk about all the characters as individuals!

Sunny Starscout

Sunny's role is listed as "Hope". I think this suits her to a tee! Sunny is one of the only ponies in Maretime Bay who still believes that the pony tribes have a chance of bonding, and of course, in the magic of friendship. Thanks to all the stories she has heard from her Father, Argyle Starshine, she believes, and hopes, she will someday befriend a unicorn, and pegasus.

Throughout the movie, I believe that Sunny will not be treated nicely by the majority of ponies she meets. Earth ponies, like perhaps Sprout, may have made fun of her. Queen Haven may try to have her arrested in Zephyr Heights for the sole reason that she is an Earth Pony. Despite these troubles, Sunny's hope will shine through, especially as she makes friends with more ponies, like Izzy, and the Pegasus sisters.

Sunny has hope for a future where the ponies are reunited again, which is why she perfectly embodies Hope.

Izzy Moonbow

Izzy is listed as embodying "creativity". From what we know of Izzy, this works out. Izzy, in most bios written about her, is listed as someone who loves to recycle, and make new creations and art. It can also be speculated that she created the bracelet she wears around one of her front hooves. Izzy also most likely created the unicorn horn Pipp is seen wearing in the VA reveal trailer. The context of the song "Fit Right In" may also allude to this, and show Izzy turn all the other members of the G5 cast into "unicorns" by creating fake horns for them to wear in Bridlewood forest.

I would love to see Izzy use her Recycled Creations to help aid the ponies on their journey!

Hitch Trailblazer

Hitch is the only pony who shares his theme with a pony from G4, that being "Kindness".

Hitch has been mentioned to, and shown in images, to care a lot about other ponies, and animals. We see him, in multiple promotional images, standing alongside animals, which are either his pets, or animals he has helped in his time as sheriff. His care for animals is reminiscent of Fluttershy from G4, who was the representation for the element of Kindness also.

Hitch is most likely wary of other species at the beginning of the movie, like the blurb for the movie states. Maybe he will even try to talk Sunny out of leaving with Izzy, but he ends up following her because he cares a lot about her safety? As the movie continues, I think Hitch will begin to realize they are not so different, and there is no reason why they should not be treated with the same kindness and respect as the earth ponies of Maretime bay.

Pipp Petals

Pipp is listed as representing "confidence". Something I do think she embodies.

As a Princess and a Popstar, Pipp most likely has to hold her head high, and do everything with Confidence; From "flying" using the wires, to livestreaming on her phone, to her performances. No matter her situation, Pipp goes in with a good attitude and mindset.

Confidence is passive self assurance. Assurance is probably something Pipp gives to herself often, especially since her life seems so busy, as a popstar and a Princess, not having to mention that she must give the citizens of Zephyr Heights false hope by pretending she is still able to fly.

Even after leaving her home, I hope Pipp will remain Confident enough to face what comes next for her.

Zipp Storm

Zipp is listed as being the representation of "Courage"

At first, most would think that she and her sister Pipp are representing what is virtually the same thing. However, Courage and Confidence are defined differently. Courage is the ability to do something even when scared. In other words; it is much like bravery.!

Zipp is stated to be someone who advocates for every pony to be their true self. As a Princess, Zipp may not be able to do this herself. She wants to fly, but, instead must lie about her ability by using wires. Over the course of the movie, I think one of the sisters will reveal the hoax. And I think it will be Zipp. I think, despite worry about backlash from her Mother and the citizens of Zephyr heights, she will share the truth, and leave with the Mane 5 and her sister.

I hope that Zipp can become her most confident self, and soar to new heights.!

I would love to hear the opinions of anyone who has read this post.!

[pleckthaniel]

thoughts on brighter fires, fiction ratings, and why i kicked it up to an M under the cut:

i realize i did this fairly abruptly and without much explanation. to be clear, i don’t think anyone who has been reading the story up to this point will have an issue with future chapters. and ultimately, i refuse to tell anyone what kind of story they can or cannot engage with. i just want to make it clear to people going in what’s going to be happening

firstly, canon is rated T. that is a firm belief of mine, like they market it as ‘juvenile,’ and that’s fine and i don’t have a problem with it or anything, but the books are fairly violent and dark, as many people have pointed out before. and brighter fires has always been intended to be like. ‘warrior cats, but a half-step up the maturity chart.’ so like if canon is intended for 9-14yos, then BF is probably intended for like, 14+.

and i do realize this is a fairly american-centric perspective of mine, but in my head, the fiction rating system just translates to the film/tv rating systems. like

G = G/PG/TV-Y7/etc

T = PG-13/TV-14

M = R/TV-MA

E = NC-17

which, again in my head, the way that translates into age ranges is:

G/PG = anybody can watch this and be fine

PG-13 = anybody can probably watch this and be fine, but prepubescent kids are generally supposed to get permission from their parents before watching

R = prepubescent kids probably shouldn’t watch this, though some will anyway. anyone else can probably watch and be fine, but teens are, again, generally supposed to get permission from their parents before watching

NC-17 = prepubescent kids definitely shouldn’t watch this. teens aren’t legally supposed to watch it (though let’s be honest with ourselves here, teens watch porn and that’s not going to change). adults can watch it and be fine.

so if you can’t tell, i’m very liberal with that sort of thing. i just generally don’t like it when people are told what media they can and cannot consume, lol. but back to my point, yeah BF was always kind of meant to be 14+, which i originally put as T because i was being very literal, and then changed to M because i re-evaluated it based on the rough translation algorithm that exists in my head as outlined above. maybe other people don’t see the ratings system the way i do, and maybe i’ll re-evaluate again someday. we’ll find out together, i guess.

the other thing is that like. i realize that on ao3, M and E are often just code for ‘this is a lime’ and ‘this is a lemon.’ but i kind of hate that??? there are a lot of other mature things in the world than just sex and frankly i really dislike that in western culture, sex in particular is held up above all other forms of mature content as The Most Bad Thing while detailed depictions of violence and abuse and severe mental illness and discrimination and child endangerment and etc etc etc - are all brushed aside as nothing.

especially violence. i don’t want to sound like a boomer or whatever here but it does concern me that at least in american culture, it’s completely normalized to watch peoples’ fucking heads explode on tv but you can’t even post a sexy pic online without getting your account murked. one of those is, imo, much much much more ‘mature,’ and it’s not the one that involves lingerie. of course, unlike the hypothetical boomer i don’t think the solution is to take away the Violent Vidya Games, it’s to normalize nudity and sex.

but we do also need to still warn people about things. like i am pro content warning 110%. so i guess what i’m saying is: “given an equally graphic depiction of a violent action scene and a sexy scene in two fics which contain no other ‘mature’ themes, each fic should be rated equally.” that’s where i’m at. liable to change, obviously, but it’s where i’ve been at since i started posting on ao3, basically, and you can apply this logic to all my other fics as well

and the ending of brighter fires gets violent. i mean, of course it does. it’s a warrior cats fic.

you may be formulating a response to this.

Q: But Scout, haven’t you said that you’ve known what the ending to Brighter Fires is going to be all along? and if so, haven’t you always known how violent the ending was going to be? So if that’s the case, why did you bump it up to an M so late in the game?

A: firstly, imaginary questioner, great job! you get extra credit points for being observant. yes, i have had a version of the ending to Brighter Fires planned since... idk, mid-2020, probably? and yes, i have had the current planned ending in my outline since spring of 2021. so yes, there have been plenty of opportunities for me to change the rating before now.

however.

let me tell you a story.

last fall, i wrote a piece for a fiction writing class about a family of cannibals. as i was writing it, i honestly didn’t think it was that graphic. i mean obviously it was very dark, and pretty violent. it did have a fairly prominent scene depicting a woman being butchered alive and then consumed. but other than that, there wasn’t a ton of gore, and it was even supposed to be darkly funny. i thought of it as being rated, like probably a really hard pg-13.

basically every single piece of feedback that came back included a variation on the phrase, ‘this made me nauseous to read.’ like, the workshop spent a good 5 real-time minutes discussing how sickening the gore was. and i was like, kind of shook tbh. it was not even the goriest thing i’ve ever written, not by a long shot.

i learned something about myself that day: despite barely being able to watch the blatantly-false gore in even the lowest-budget horror movies for how ill it makes me, i am apparently completely desensitized to depictions of violence in prose.

so yeah it made me re-evaluate how other people were going to perceive the levels of violence and gore in the BF ending lol

[recurring-polynya]

Do you have like some top renruki fics based on theme? Like top 5 saddest that make you sob or top 5 that made you laugh or too 5 nsfw? 😳

I love doing fanfic recs, and everyone can feel free to send me a theme like this at any time. I do fear that I talk about my favs too much, but on the other hand, can I ever really talk up my favs too much?

Sad

1. Everyone better know this by now, but that which cannot be seen by @gizkasparadise​ is my go-to “get emotionally wrecked” fic. I will never stop talking about it. Fuck I am thinking about Rukia and Byakuya in that giant house thinking about their dead spouses again f u c k

2. Metaesthesia by @lucymonster​ is another heart-ripper-outer. It’s a little hard to explain, but Renji and Byakuya swap bodies, and it’s about Renji sort of... turning into Byakuya and it is an amazing exploration of character and also amazingly sad.

3. Is The Curse of the Zanpakuto by c2t2 sad or is it just horrifying? It’s both. It’s a (much) darker take on Rukia and Renji’s time in Inuzuri and it is indelibly printed on my headcanons and I don’t like to say it’s my favorite, but it might be my more important fanfic. [contains sex]

4. The primary reason I can never really get behind IchiRuki as a ship is because I get too sad thinking about Renji and Orihime. But sometimes, I feel like feeling sad about Renji and Orihime and then I read this wild abandoned star: a romance in twenty by the genius paperiuni (who also wrote The Roots of Heaven one of all-time Great Works of Fanfiction)

5. I don’t know if The Red Devil of Inuzuri by @junko222 is actually sad, but it makes me sad. It’s a what-if where Renji gets all fucked-up after Rukia’s adoption and ruins his life, which I think is only a thin hair away from canon and I am constantly thinking about this.

Funny

For some reason, this category was really hard for me? None of these are straight-up screwball comedy, they are just fics where I really like the writer’s sense of humor.

1. Look, I assume you wanted Bleach recs, but the actual funniest fanfic in existence is Bruce Wayne Banned from Walmart by @unpretty​ this is not up for debate.

2. “Mildly bad things happen to Byakuya and he gets upset about it” is one of my favorite categories of comedy, and @thegreenfaery​ is one of my favorite practitioners of it. Saturday 7th November 1987: The Wedding Party is my favorite example of her humor. In the interest of full disclosure, she wrote it for me, but also, it’s really funny. I have been meaning to re-read this for months; I probably should.

3. Not So Easy A by apearlinmyhead a GrimmIchi college AU. It has great banter and really great use of side characters, and it’s really, really funny. Every single interaction between Renji and Ichigo is comedy gold. It’s unfinished, which is a shame, because she indicated she only had one more chapter to go. I have faith that she will come back and finish it someday.

4.  I don’t talk about @murderlight a lot, because she’s already super-famous and doesn’t need my help, but among other things, her fics are hilarious (when they are being hilarious, less so when they they are slamming you over the head with a baseball bat of feels). Both Cat Scratch Fever 🐈  and A Demon in the Rough 💎 are tremendously good, and I am really excited that she has said she’ll be picking up the latter again soon.

5. I have read Become a Ghost by @hardlyfatal several times, and it always makes me laugh a lot, but more in a “Skeletor cackles and shakes his fists at the sky” way, because it has so many great Extremely Fanfiction plot twists. It is also very funny-- it’s got a great humorous narration style, and there are a bunch of turns of phrase in it that stick with me to this day.

NSFW

I always feels goofy about revealing my Tastes in Pornography, but, eh, whatever. I’m putting this under a cut, and by clicking it, you are Legally Agreeing Not to Judge Polynya Too Much. Suffice it to say, these all include explicit sex.

1. The best RenRuki porn is IchiRenRuki porn and the best IchiRenRuki porn is written by thekurosakiconundrum. I refuse to choose between Eighteen and I Like It , Solutions for the Three Body Problem , and I Get By , but the last one includes Orihime, which is a selling point in my book.

2. Rukia Gives Renji a Haircut by Nicole4211 is the perfect Renruki porno. It is unapologetically horny. It is heartfelt. It is long, and yet every time they Do It, there’s some new little twist.

3. Leaving Inuzuri by @sillier-things is about a story about Rukia and Renji’s feelings for each other right before they, um, leave Inuzuri (as the title would imply). This one is more of a “story that has sex in it” than straight-up smut, but it is sweet and thoughtful and another one of those “invades and shapes your headcanons” and it’s one of my all-time favs.

4. I just really like Stay by eosdawnaurora? It’s just like...what you’re looking for in a Renruki porno? I mean, it’s got a lot of framing story of them being at a party and they have some verbal sparring and fancy outfits and stuff and I just like it.

5. Meant to Be by valentineninja is a PWP based on ~an omake~ and I respect that so, so much.

[clarionglass]

so i’ve spent the last month falling headfirst into the magnus archives, and i’ve rapidly been coming to the conclusion that jonathan sims the archivist needs a hug and a rest, because he sure ain’t gonna get that in the series. hence i have applied my crochet “skills” to the creation of a tiny jon who can indeed get hugs when required! i worked on him while listening to tma, so hopefully some of the Jon Spirit (tm) has transferred into him....... i stand him in my room when i’m practising so it does kinda feel like he’s watching me, so maybe it worked? still, no nightmares, so i think tiny jon appreciates the hugs and the lack of apocalypse in his current situation

(yes i am going to make a crochet martin too, this is an absolute necessity. i’m just slightly less confident on his design so i’m being a bit reticent in starting him out....... if anyone has hard-and-fast This Is How Martin Should Look ideas then send em through)

there’s no exact pattern for “jon from tma” that i’ve been able to find, so this jon has been ganked out of some basics by allison hoffman (craftyiscool) on ravelry, and some common themes in fanart. credit where it’s due, i may have done the actual crocheting but boy he wouldn’t be nearly as good without all the work other people have done that i was able to draw on :)

more details on the making, and on each photo in the sequence, under the read more!

The Making of Tiny Jon

as above, tiny jon was ganked out of a few different amigurumi patterns by allison hoffman, with modifications by me as felt appropriate. the patterns i used are for worsted weight/10ply yarn, which is hard to get here, so the transition to using a few different brands of 8ply required a bit of messing about with. still, i think it was pretty successful! he stands upright without help, which is a first for me when using this kind of pattern. 

i’m honestly not sure where in the tma timeline he comes from. he has the post s1 and s3 scars visible, and in my heart, even though he’s just yarn, he has all of jon’s knowledge up to date, but he;s slightly too put-together looking for current jon. practically, giving him a ponytail wouldn’t have worked with the mass of yarn, and although i would have liked to give him a bit of facial scruff, i can’t crochet or embroider that convincingly. if any experienced crocheters out there have some tips, i’m happy to learn! let’s just call him a s5 mind in an early s3 body and be done with it. it’s my crochet, i can do what i want :)

the saddest day came when it was time to embroider those lil scars on his arms and hand... they kinda show up in some of the photos (see Tiny Jon Selects A Statement), but even if they’re not massively noticeable, i had to include them

there is a small green eye embroidered on the inside of his sweater vest, to sit just over his heart. it’s secret and nobody will ever see it, but it’s there.

pic 1: Tiny Jon

nothing much to say about this one aye. but there he is!

pic 2: Tiny Jon Sits On The Bookshelf

he works in an archive, and we have some fancy leather-bound books. i had to combine the two! plus it’s a nod to that good ol oxford pretension

pic 3: Tiny Jon Harbours Destructive Thoughts Re A Pile Of Potential Leitners

these are all books i own, selected for potential leitner-ness based on either title or content. neverwhere and picnic at hanging rock were selected on content (both the spiral), but you should be able to tell which entity applies to all the others (altho valley of fear is generic). doomsday book, though, despite the title, is not an end leitner, but is in fact a corruption leitner. i read this years ago, and remembered that it’s about a historian from the future (the 2050s, actually) going back in time to research the black death, with predictable tragedy. i forgot, however, that the b plot deals with a new flu-like pandemic in the “current day”...... eerily relevant, and also definitely open to be leitner-ised. tiny jon thinks so too, hence the matches.

pic 4: Tiny Jon Selects A Statement

again, self-explanatory.

pic 5: Tiny Jon Reads A Statement

it took me for-fkn-ever to mock up that tiny statement on magnus institute notepaper. it’s a 4-and-a-half page genuine statement written by yours truly, not just some squiggled-on pages or a shopping list or something, and is a mildly fictionalised version of something that has actually happened to me. if you can somehow strain your eyes and read it (would not recommend, i don’t think it’s actually possible), names and places have most definitely been changed because of my paranoia

i realise there is no tape recorder in shot! for the purposes of “canon” let’s just say that there is one on his desk, just out of shot. in reality, i’ll probably get around to making one out of polymer clay someday, but for the moment i just could not be arsed, and i was too impatient to delay the cute shot :)

pics 6-9: Tiny Jon Makes A Cuppa

in the absence of martin, tiny jon has to make his own tea.

[i-am-a-closet-fanfic-fiend]

Carnival of Hearts (Part 3/6) ~ Bucky x Reader College!AU

A/N: Happy Friday my lovelies! Part 3 is here. :) 

This is my entry for @buckysknifecollection​​ ‘s 3k Follower Challenge. Congrats on the milestone lovely! Go check out the blog. Personal fave is Hush (a must read if you’re into soft!Biker!Bucky)

Prompt: Our friends set us up on this carnival date but we’re both pining after someone else and this a bit awkward

Summary: When you’re set up on a carnival date with Bucky Barnes NOTHING turns out the way you expected.

Rating: T

Warnings: Language

Word count: 2090

Story Masterlist | Main Masterlist

When you came back from the restroom, Bucky was sitting at the picnic table scribbling in a notebook.

“So you’re a writer?”

Bucky jumped and snapped the leather bound journal shut.

“I… what? This was just a grocery list.”

You frowned at the obvious lie, but decided not to call him on it opting for a different tactic.

“Oh. Sorry. Nat had mentioned you were doing a minor in creative writing, so I kind of just assumed. Sorry.”

You sat down beside him.

“No apology necessary. And I am doing a minor in creative writing. And that wasn’t my grocery list.”

“I figured.”

You smiled encouragingly.  

“I guess I just don’t consider myself a writer. I mean I want to be… Someday. That’s the dream.”

“Do you write now?”  

“Yeah, but it’s just a hobby.” He shrugged. “I’ve never been published.”  

“You don’t have to published to be a writer. You just have to write.”

“Well when you put it like that…”

“I’m sure that you’re a great. You see the world in a different way. What do you write about?”

He exhaled a laugh, bobbing his head slightly.

“Love mostly. Wanda calls me a hopeless romantic. She’s right of course.”

You nudged his shoulder with your own.

“Well, you’re in good company. Love’s a big topic though.”

“I’ll never run out of material that’s for sure. Recently I’ve been favoring quiet love. Love that comes out of nowhere but that you can find everywhere. Love that surrounds you until you couldn’t be more sure of it.”  

“Wow,” you breathed out. “If that’s just you talking I can’t imagine what your writing must be like.”

Bucky blushed at the praise.

“Thanks, doll.”

“Have you ever shared your writing?”

He hesitated before nodding.

“I have a blog. Anonymous, because I’m so not ready to put my name on anything.”

“That’s fine. You don’t have to. But it’s great that you’re putting it out there. If you ever want to share it - not anonymously - let me know.”

You were happy to leave it at that, but Bucky surprised you when he pulled out his phone. You quickly grabbed his hand to stop him.

“You don’t have to show me.”

“I know,” he smiled. “I want to. I’m not sure why. But I want to.”

“I’m honored.”

He scrolled through his phone for a few moments before handing it over.

“Read this one.”

You nodded, and cradled the phone in your hands as you began reading.

 Longing from right beside you.

We embrace, my limbs slow, awkward as if rusted.

Your hand in mine, my cheeks red, hotter than a furnace.

Your smile brighter than the sun at daybreak, it warms me.

It disarms me.

I am seventeen again.

Hiding. Questioning. Unsure.

My desire is benign. It is pure.

Nine o’clock every morning - a new quiet beginning.

Seven o’clock every evening - the sweetest homecoming.  

One press of your lips on mine hits me like a freight car.

I am lost.

I am yours.

 “Wow, Bucky, this is…”

“Terrible. Dry.”

“No. It’s beautiful. And I can feel the emotion. Oh my. You are so talented. Thank you for sharing this with me.”  

“Thanks for not judging me.”

“Why would I judge you?”

“Some people think writing is dumb.”

“I think those people are dumb.”

“I dream of being a published author someday. But every time I start making plans, I’m reminded that writing isn’t a guaranteed career.”

“There are no guarantees in life. And if you ask me, you should take some of your own advice.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You told me that you think Sam should be a chef because it’s what makes him special.”

“Yeah?”

“Well, your writing is what makes you special. And you should give it a fair shot. I think the world needs the words of Bucky Barnes.”

“Thank you for that.”

“Any time. I like to aggressively hype up my friends, so you should probably get used to it.”

Bucky’s laugh was deep and booming.

“You’re the best.”

“Yes. Yes I am.”

Bucky let you read a few more pieces, each more beautiful than the last. He had the heart of a man in love.    

“So since you know mine, what’s your dream profession?” he asked as you walked back towards the roller coasters after completing your first circuit.

“Photographer,” you replied without skipping a beat.  

“Damn, I had my money on news anchor.”

“Well, I am a journalism major. It seemed like a safer bet.”

Bucky arched an eyebrow at you.

“You don’t have to say it.”

“I wasn’t going to say anything.”

“You’re a terrible liar.”

You laughed and rolled your eyes.

“When did you fall in love with photography?”

You had to think for a moment.

“When I was six or seven, my dad bought me a toy camera and I immediately ran around the house taking a million pictures. And when we got the prints I glued them onto construction paper and taped them up around my living room like it was a gallery that I forced my parents to tour. They were very supportive considering it was mostly blurry pictures of a mop.”

“But I’m sure your passion showed through.”

You smiled appreciatively.  

“Still. But I fell in love with it when I realized that two people can look at the same photo and see a totally different story. And both of them could have a different understanding than the photographer.”

“It definitely illustrates the effect of the consumer’s perspective. That was always my favorite part of literary discussions.”  

“Yes. Totally.”

“Okay, so if journalism isn’t the goal, what is?”

“Freelance photographer I guess. I actually had this idea to make a blog and do weekly photo story prompts, so people could submit their stories based on the pictures and then people could come read and enjoy them. And if it got big enough I could start hosting writing challenges and contests. Steve keeps hounding me to set it up. He says it would give people a chance to fall in love with my photos in a different way.”

“That’s a great idea. I think you should do it.”

“Nah, I doubt anyone would want to do something like that.”

“Are you kidding? It sounds amazing. You would just need to get the word out in the writing community. I would definitely participate.”

“Really?” you asked, excited by the prospect.

Bucky smiled and nodded.

“I might even put my name on it for you.”

After the roller coaster, you made your way to the pirate themed pendulum ride, trying to position yourselves so you’d have your pick of seats by letting a few people go ahead of you.

“Do you have a favorite photograph you’ve taken?” Bucky asked, as you let another family pass you.

You bit your lip.

“That’s a yes. Will you show it to me some time?”

“I can show it to you now if you really want to see it.”

“I would love to.”

You could sense that his interest was genuine so you slipped your phone out of your pocket and opened Instagram.

“This one is my favorite,” you stated, clutching the screen against your chest.

“You don’t have to show me, you know.”

“I know.”

You smiled and with a deep breath turned the phone to show him.

“Umm that’s just the background.”

You looked at it and sure enough you’d accidentally exited the app.

“Damn it. Okay one second. Here we go.”

You showed him the phone with much less fanfare, but his reaction was immediate.

“Wow.”  

You’d taken the photo after dinner one night. Steve was leaning against the wall on the balcony sketching by the light of a full moon and the mini lanterns you’d wrapped around the railing. You had to capture the moment. Steve heard you fumbling with your camera and looked up just in time, a soft smile gracing his features.

“Perfect,” you murmured as you looked at the shot.

“Yeah, you are.”

“Steve’s the one who encouraged me to put some of my photos on Instagram. But I told him I’d only do it, if that was the first one. It’s still my most popular post. Nat says it’s cuz he’s pretty.”

“He is for sure,” Bucky chuckled. “But he’s also soulful. I want to know what makes a man that happy.”

He had his suspicions.

“I think this should be my next post,” you cooed as you showed Bucky the picture of him cuddling the plush wolf you had won him at the ring toss.  

“Delete that.”

“Literally never.”

He pouted. “Come on, please.”

You shook your head.

“Nope. This is my new favorite photo. You’re adorable and I’m never deleting it.”

Bucky had only known you a few hours, but he could tell when he should cut his losses.

“Fine. But if you’re keeping that one. We should at least have a cute one of the both of us.”

“That’s a fabulous idea.”

Bucky moved so he was straddling the bench of the picnic table, and you shuffled so that you were in between his legs. You put your phone in selfie mode and took one photo before a woman approached you.

“Would you like me to take a photo of the two of you?”

“Sure, that would be great!”

You handed her your phone as you and Bucky re-situated yourself so you were sitting side by side. Bucky wrapped an arm around your shoulder and the stuffed animal sat on your laps.

She took several photos and you were giggling when Bucky had his wolf kiss you on the cheek.  

“Here you go. I took a bunch.”

“Thank you so much.”

“It’s so nice to see a young couple so in love.”

She walked away before you or Bucky could respond. You both shared an unsure expression as an awkward silence fell between you.  

“Do you want to plan out what to do until lunch?” he asked, not making eye contact.

“Yeah, sure. That sounds like a good idea,” you agreed.

That woman’s comment was repeating on a loop as you thumbed through the pictures she took. You did make a cute couple, but despite having a great time with him so far, you weren’t feeling a spark. What if Bucky was though? Had you been leading him on?

“Y/n, are you okay?”

“What? Sorry, Bucky.”

Bucky chuckled and you saw understanding in his expression which made the knot in your stomach loosen.

“Did it freak you out too?”

You laughed half-heartedly. “That obvious huh?”

“Only a little.”

“Don’t get me wrong. Today has been awesome. And you’re fantastic.”

“Thank you.” He bobbed his head in gratitude. “So are you.”

“Thanks. But,” you drew out the word. “I just don’t feel that spark.”

Your teeth sunk into your bottom lip as you braced for his reaction.  

“Oh thank god.”

You turned to him with wide eyes.

“I don’t either.”

“You don’t?”  

Bucky shook his head. “You’re amazing. And I really want to be best friends with you. But…”

“That’s all,” you finished for him.

He nodded. You blew out a relieved breath.

“Full disclosure. I think Wanda set this up because she was tired of me pining over someone.”

“You mean Sam?” you asked with a knowing smile.

He was unsurprised you’d figured it out.

“I don’t hide it well, do I?”

“I had my suspicions, but you could probably chalk it up to be being best friends and roommates. But it’s all over your writing.”

“That’s fair.”

“And in the interest of honesty. Nat 100% set me up so I would get over my own dumb crush.”

“On Steve,” he stated matter-of-factly.  

You swatted at his arm when you saw his smirk.

“Don’t be smug.”

“I’m not. I’m amused. Your art gives you away too. The way you see Steve comes through in your photos. They’re beautiful, breathtaking even, but definitely an insight into your heart.”

“Not the worst critique of my work I’ve received,” you joked, making you both laugh.

“This is pretty awkward huh. We’re on this date - which is honestly one of the best I’ve been on - and we’re both pining after other people.”

“Well, at least we’re not pining after the same person. That would be way more awkward. And it’s one of the best dates I’ve been on too.”

“I know that this isn’t what they were hoping for, but I’m really glad that Natasha and Wanda set us up.”

“So am I.”

A/N: EEEEE okay, so I hope that you enjoyed this. I know it may not be what you expected (or you might totally have expected it) just sit tight. It’s gonna be fluffy I promise. 

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[passionate-reply]

Do you “fucking love” science? Have you ever been blinded by it? Well, it doesn’t really matter, because that goofy little number isn’t really supposed to be on Thomas Dolby’s debut album in the first place. Find out about all the awesome OTHER stuff that’s actually meant to be here, in this new installment of Great Albums! Transcript below the break.

Welcome to Passionate Reply, and welcome to Great Albums! Today, I’ll be talking about a stellar album by one of those artists who have gone down in history as “one hit wonders,” despite producing a deep catalogue that’s often more impressive than that one song they end up known for: it’s The Golden Age of Wireless, the debut LP of Thomas Dolby. Chances are pretty good you’ve heard his big hit, “She Blinded Me With Science,” before...at least, if you’re American.

Music: “She Blinded Me With Science”

Like I said, if you’re American, you’ve heard this one before. If anything, it’s oversaturated! But if you’re from elsewhere in the world, you might not know it. Growing up in the US, I went through the whole gauntlet of alleged “one hit wonders” of 80s synth-pop, and a great many of them turned out to be British artists who had perfectly respectable careers in their native UK: Gary Numan, Soft Cell, and OMD, for example. Thomas Dolby is also British, but he’s apparently more famous here than he is across the pond--which is still not that famous.

He really ought to be, though, because The Golden Age of Wireless is a true masterpiece. Or, at least it WAS, in its original form. It’s actually a tough album to talk about, insofar as it’s hard to pin down what exactly constitutes “The Golden Age of Wireless.” It’s had quite a few different pressings, and a variety of different track listings. And the original version of it does NOT include “She Blinded Me With Science.” While I’d never argue that it’s a bad song, since it is insanely fun, and catchy to the point of being irresistible, it really does not belong on this album. I’m sure it helped them move copies of it, but its inclusion kind of ruins the vibe, to be honest. Its in-your-face and flamboyant hooks make it feel like a very unwarranted intrusion on an otherwise fairly serious and contemplative LP, which seems to have been intended as a fairly tight and thoughtful concept album.

Aside from that glaring issue, there are a few other tracks that have appeared on later versions of the album that weren’t there from the start, namely, the two tracks from Dolby’s first ever-release, a double A-side of “Urges” and “Leipzig,” as well as “One of Our Submarines,” the B-side of some versions of “She Blinded Me With Science.” All of these tracks are excellent, and mesh with the thematic and sonic character of the album quite well. “One of Our Submarines” in particular is often considered one of the best tracks of Dolby’s career--melancholy, claustrophobic, and stinging in its poignant sense of tragedy. It captures the misery and futility of modern war, as well as the sunset of the British Empire after the Second World War...and there’s a sample of a dolphin, too. It’s easily the track that I most wish had been included from the very start.

Music: “One of Our Submarines”

But now that that’s over with, I’d like to drill down and talk about how the album operates in its original form, as the artist intended. Like I said earlier, The Golden Age of Wireless is best understood as a concept album, and I think of it in a similar league as classics like the Buggles’ The Age of Plastic, OMD’s Dazzle Ships, or even Kate Bush’s Hounds of Love. The original track listing opens with “Flying North,” a stellar introduction to one of the most prominent themes of the album: freedom!

Music: “Flying North”

“Flying North” is an exultant anthem of self-determination, and one clearly mediated by “metal birds”--aeroplanes, that is. It’s a celebration of the independence allowed by technology, and a rather winsome one, in which this almost macho image of a heroic pilot takes center stage. The final track of the album, “Cloudburst At Shingle Street,” is a bit more esoteric, but seems to be aiming for a pretty similar idea overall, and I’d argue that the two of them form thematic “bookends.”

Music: “Cloudburst At Shingle Street”

“Cloudburst At Shingle Street” leads us through the technological evolution of mankind, from swinging from trees to paving concrete beaches--but the spacey synth warbles beneath those lines give them an ominous bent. The assertion that we might be heading into a cloudburst “mindless,” “naked,” or “blindly” is unnervingly cynical, but, we’re told, “there’s no escaping it.” Despite all of these signs that our better judgment should be resisting the temptation of this miraculous cloudburst...this triumphant, rising coda, with its powerful choir encouraging us onwards, seems to muddle the whole thing. The untethered, free-roaming nature of modern life isn’t always this sexy and exuberant, though--consider the track “Weightless,” as a counterpoint.

Music: “Weightless”

“Weightless” certainly seems to be about modern transients of some sort--in this case, traveling by car--but never lionizes them or makes them too terribly enviable. Instead, the focus is on the image of the draining fuel tank: the constant emptiness and craving for meaning, validation, and genuine love. No matter the allure of this very American, Route 66-like setting, the gas stations, cinemas, and decadent diner meals along the way are never any real substitute for an emotionally authentic life. That setting is, of course, a wistfully backward-looking Midcentury one. Nostalgia and childhood naivete are also among the album’s major themes, and are expressed the most clearly on “Europa and the Pirate Twins.”

Music: “Europa and the Pirate Twins”

Narratively, “Europa and the Pirate Twins” is a bittersweet story of childhood playmates who never quite re-unite, despite promising to be together again someday. The really interesting wrinkle is the fact that the narrator’s beloved Europa has become a famous celebrity as an adult, and the narrator is essentially a fan of her despite their real-world relationship. It’s an uncanny, confused parasocial relationship dynamic that feels extremely contemporary, despite the fact that it’s ultimately more of a commentary on the rise of teenager-oriented marketing during the Midcentury than anything else. The strange, often unhealthy relationships between young people and mass media, particularly radio, are another one of the major sources of tension on The Golden Age of Wireless. “Europa and the Pirate Twins” is also one of the more interesting tracks, instrumentally, featuring a prominent harmonica part, performed by Andy Partridge of XTC. Given how much the album strives to be about the future and past simultaneously, steeped in nostalgia and utopian visions alike, it makes sense to hear Dolby blend elements of traditional folk or popular music with forward-thinking synth-pop sensibilities. Listen also for a flute on “Windpower,” and a substantial amount of guitar on “Commercial Breakup,” a song that proves Dolby certainly can rock, if he feels like it.

Music: “Commercial Breakup”

The cover art for The Golden Age of Wireless isn’t exactly the most iconic, but I’ve always thought it was very beautiful. You’ve got this very eye-catching, lurid, pulp magazine style illustration of Dolby as a diligent, yet glamourous engineer, radiating with the complementary colour palette of orange and blue, the perfect picture of retro cool. But it’s framed and inset, to give us a conscious sense of observing something that’s coming to us from another time, an artifact preserved. That patina and sense of the antique is amplified by this dull-coloured background, which actually shows a marble sculpture gallery in a museum, though that’s tough to make out unless you have it right in front of you. The numerous shades of irony operating here are another thing that make the album feel strikingly contemporary.

I’m also a huge fan of the album’s title. “Wireless,” if you weren’t aware, is an old-fashioned term for radio. Radio itself is a strong theme on the album, most obviously on the track “Radio Silence,” but the use of the term “wireless” isn’t just another piece of retro nostalgia--I think it’s also evocative of that sense of free-flying, untethered independence I talked about earlier. The first half, i.e., “golden age,” is perhaps even more important. “Golden age” is an extremely loaded term that brings a number of rich associations to the table. “Golden ages” are simultaneously longed for, but not fully believed in. They’re bygone eras that usually felt like nothing special to the people who actually lived through them, despite their greatness being palpable to anyone reflecting on them in hindsight. In every golden age, there’s a poetic tragedy.

I think that even if someone did buy this record just to get their hands on “She Blinded Me With Science,” they’d probably be at least a little bit disappointed in what they got. The album does have some decent pop singles, chiefly “Radio Silence” and “Europa and the Pirate Twins,” but they’re still humming with nostalgia and unease, and not without some substantial experimental DNA.

Music: “Radio Silence”

While they cut the single weirdest track on the album, “The Wreck of the Fairchild,” they still retained some fairly ambitious tracks, such as “Windpower”--clearly an ode to Kraftwerk’s “Radioactivity.” It’s hard to be angry with an electronic musician for trying to rip off Kraftwerk, since they all do it one way or another, and in this case it invites a natural comparison between two great concept albums focused on the theme of radio.

Music: “Windpower”

Overall, though, The Golden Age of Wireless is still a reasonably accessible album on the whole. Possibly not what you expected, and certainly, a work that’s more sentimental and affecting than good for the dance floor, but as far as poignant, ballady, diesel-punk odes to the tragic techno-optimism of the Midcentury go, I’d say it’s not all that hard to get into! Dolby does have a pop core, as an artist, that he’s quite capable of selling to us if he chooses to. For proof of that point, look no further than the single “Hyperactive!” which he followed this up with a few years later:

Music: “Hyperactive!”

When discussing an ostensible one-hit wonder, there’s a distinct temptation to resort to “they deserved better” style rhetoric. On one hand, yes, I do think more people should hear Thomas Dolby’s music, and that it has a lot to say to us. I’m all about obscure music finding new life and being appreciated. That said, in the case of Dolby, I think he basically got what he wanted, in the end. He’s always been more keenly interested in music’s many behind-the-scenes roles than he has in chasing pop stardom himself--he’s produced music, and scored a number of films and video games over the decades. It feels kind of wrong to tell someone who’s successful at one thing that they “deserve” to be successful at something different, just because we may want to hear him do it, or because we esteem one skillset more highly than the other. Ultimately, The Golden Age of Wireless is a Great Album on its own terms, whether Dolby ever decides to grace us with another synth-pop release under his own name again--which he did in 2011, with A Map of the Floating City. But it’s his decision, as an artist, and the fact that he can choose to or not is a luxury that allows him integrity. I think that’s the way it ought to be.

My overall top track on this album has got to be “Airwaves,” a song in which the narrator dies, tragically and suddenly, in an automobile accident. It’s not the sexy, “Warm Leatherette” sort of car accident, but rather a dismally realistic one, that shows quite frankly how undignified death can be. Sometimes, we aren’t so much doomed heroes as we are frightened, sickly children, defeated by our own fickle bodies. The last thought our narrator gets is “I itch all over, let me sleep”; their honour perishes just moments before they do. Meanwhile, the radio is a constant presence throughout, and serves as both something to anchor the scene in the droll and quotidian, as well as ultimately becoming something transcendent. The promise of “airwaves” is not only the human interconnectedness made possible by technology, but also a hint at the ultimate destiny of human souls, a kind of ethereal afterlife in the sky. The meandering lulls of the verses contrast sharply with the song’s eerily soaring refrain, which enhances that feeling that those “airwaves” occupy some sort of higher plane. On that surprisingly heavy note, that’s all I’ve got for today, so thanks for listening!

Music: “Airwaves”

[to-survival]

Do I want to make a Fallout themed blog?

Yes. Yes, I do. But what will I put on it? Thoughts, writing, memes, screenshots, character inspiration, face claims, mood boards, maybe some NPC reactions. I don't know. It's a speck in a sea of "that's already been done" But it's mine Hell, if anyone has any ideas, send 'em.

Here are some things you should know. Some of these are goals. Some are FYI.

-I make original character stories when I play RPGs. Usually, my headcanon is significantly different from that of what the main story is "supposed" to be. Occasionally it goes against the lore. None of my OCs are vault dwellers, though I might make one someday.

-I chose Ad Salutem as a theme/title because it means 'to survival' which is pretty much what everyone is trying to do in the wasteland, right?

-I have a tendency to binge on fandoms for months or years and then leave them for just as long. It's just what I do. But I almost always come back eventually.

-I tend to re-use characters in different settings. I have 3 main ones and 2-3 minor ones that I use frequently. I'll probably make a different post about them to introduce them. There are male, female, and nonbinary characters. I explore different themes and learn about myself through writing. I make mistakes. I'm not afraid to fix them.

-I enjoy writing smut. I'm good at it. It's NSFW. So if you're under 18, you shouldn't read it. Come back when you're an adult. It will make more sense and you'll have some context for it. Trust me on this.

-I have wanted to write in the Fallout universe for some time, but have not had the inspiration to do so. Now I do. I would like to flesh out at least one solid story, but more than likely it will be a series of short stories and vignettes that contribute to a larger arc.

That's all for now.

[redcameleon]

SSM 2020 Day 3

Prompt: Sleeping Soundly

Summary: Sakura has the ability to travel to people’s dreams and alter them. So she helps resolve Sasuke’s nightmares.

Rating: K+.

A/N: The story is set during ancient times when kingdoms still existed. This was inspired by the drama Mystic Pop Up Bar. Go check out the show!

Life is surely filled with mysteries. Mysteries of the mind and the body. One can argue that they both are just equally as important, equally dependent on each other, and equally strong. But Sakura would argue otherwise. The mind is the key to everything. A strong-willed mind can withstand anything. It can even push one’s limit beyond anything they imagine. Unbeknownst to some, it even has the ability to affect one’s body. When the mind is strong, the body is as well. And when the mind is weak, so too is the body. Thus, becoming the key to unlock one’s potential.  

This is what Sakura has control over. Not necessarily the mind itself, but the thoughts underlying it. One might ask, how is this possible? Through dreams.

A scholar once believed that the mind is the door that to peak into person’s subconsciousness. A dream is like a projection of one’s beliefs, thoughts, and hopes. Many things are uncertain, but one thing Sakura’s certain, is that she is not like other people. Ever since she was little, her dreams have never stopped being so vivid, so clear. Her mind has always been so alert and conscious, even during sleep, movements so clear and swift, she can practically do whatever she wants in the dream plane.

That’s when she realizes she’s special. She was ten when she found out her abilities can be stretched out to enter other people’s dreams. Seeing what they see, standing in the sidelines, watching the events unfold and change from one thing to the other.

She was thirteen when she found out she was able to alter those events. Creating her own playground in other people’s dreams, architecting rooms and houses, making things disappear or appear.

Back then she had to learn to manipulate her powers and hone them by using it on her friends. But soon, she realizes, it’s both a blessing and a curse. She was then feared by many. Feared that she is a puppet master who can control people’s minds to do whatever she wants. Feared that she will someday bring doom to their village.

The thing is, she did believe them. By the time she was sixteen, she decided to run away and leave her village behind.

.

.

Sasuke’s day has finally come to an end. With a war coming, the palace is becoming more eager to manufacture weapons and armors. Bows, arrows, swords, and spears are constantly in the make each day. Constantly being surrounded by the hot furnaces, handling scolding metal and heavy hammers, Sasuke’s body aches all over.

The walk back to his house feels the most rewarding. A day at the forge earned him three days’ worth of meals. He can barely remember when he started working there. The only thing he remembers is the face of his brother going into war. It’s been two years since he last saw him. He wonders if he’ll ever see him again.

Boiling some water in a pot and cutting up vegetables, he settles for a simple meal for his dinner before deciding to sleep right away. All cleaned up from the coal and dirt on his body, he lays himself on the futon, closing his eyes.

Just as his mind is starting to drift, flashes of blood fill his mind. He can hear the screams of women, of children. He sees arrows lodged into trees and ground. He keeps running and running deeper into the forest, running as fast as his legs could carry him. His body feels sluggish, as if putting one leg over the other is the hardest thing to do. His whole body feels heavy. He looks back to see if anyone’s following him when he accidentally trips on a branch, rolling down a hill and falling into a dark endless pit.

His body jolts as he sits up, covered in sweat. This has been the nth time he’s had the same dream. They never fall far from similar themes of blood, war, and fear. It’s like he’s watching his memories on tape being rewinded over and over again. Memories of the civil war that happened in his village years ago. Sometimes he gets to see his brother in them and they’re not as bad as he thinks. But some days they’re worse because he sees his brother in them, dead.

He runs a hand over his tired face and ruffles his hair in frustration. He lies back on the futon and stares at the ceiling.

Brother, where are you?

.

.

“Hey, Sasuke, Sasuke!” Someone finally snaps him out of his musings. He turns to the source of the voice.

“Careful with that.” The man points to the hot rod in his hand. Sasuke quickly sets it on the table before taking off his gloves.

“You okay? You look like you barely got any sleep last night.” It’s apparently too obvious that he didn’t get any sleep last night.

“I’m fine.” He goes to the back and splashes some water on his face. He lets it cool himself down as he stands there, staring at his reflection in the water. The man places a hand on Sasuke’s shoulder.

“Hey, you know what might help? I heard there’s a shaman in town that can give you good dreams!” Sasuke quirks an eyebrow at the suggestion. He surely is not one to believe in ghosts or spirits. He might believe in an afterlife, but hearing about someone who can supposedly give him good dreams is a bit too far-fetched.

“I’m telling you it really works! My brother went to see her the other day and he said she could really do it! Just try it once. You got nothing to lose, right?” He’s right. He doesn’t have anything to lose. His nightmares are already bad anyway, he can only hope that things get better from there, right?

He decides to give this shaman a try. At the end of the day, following the directions the man gave him, he comes across a small house at the edge of the village. The house looks small and humble. The yard seems barren except for the clay jars lined up along the sides. He notices the bell that hangs from the ceiling. He approaches the entrance and knocks a few times.

“Come in.” He hears a voice from inside. He slides the door and steps inside. He finds a woman sitting on the floor behind a table. He’s never been inside a shaman’s house before but he can say it’s not like anything he imagines. The room appears empty, except for a futon on the right side of the room, and an incense on the other side of the room.

She eyes him and chuckles.

“Wow you must really need my help.” Sasuke is beginning to re-evaluate his decision. But he might need her help after all. He steps closer and takes a seat in front of her.

“I’ve been having nightmares.”

“I see. And what kind of nightmares?” She’s probably heard this so many times, judging by the unchanging tone in her voice.

“People dying. War.” He can’t tell if it’s just his imagination but he can see her eyes widen a bit.

“That’s rare. You see most people say they want dreams of meeting their loved ones, flying, travelling.” She can tell that he only wants one thing. Peace. Peace of mind.

“Okay. I’ll help you.” She gets up and sits next to the futon. She gestures him to sit as well. He gives her a questioning look before he decides to follow her words. He sits there and Sakura hands him a cup of tea.

“This will help you relax. It’s chamomile tea.” He takes a sniff before sipping the beverage. He then lies down and tries to even his breathing. She’s lying of course. It’s not just any regular tea. It’s a special liquor of hers that can put a person into a deep slumber. Not long after that, Sasuke begins to drift into sleep. His eyes flutter closed.

Sakura grabs his hand in hers and touches his pulse. She closes her eyes and tries to match his breathing. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. She focuses on Sasuke’s heartbeat in her fingertips. A few minutes pass and she begins to enter his dream.

Darkness. Everywhere around her. The moon is the only thing lighting up her path. She notices she’s in a forest. She walks a few steps before she sees an arrow lodged in the ground, followed by a trail of blood. She then begins to hear screams. She keeps walking and starts hearing fast footsteps. She quickly steps to the side, hiding behind a tree. She then sees Sasuke panting and running. She follows behind him to see where he’s heading. He keeps on turning back, as if someone is chasing him. She looks back to see no one.

She keeps following him. Deciding that she should end his misery, she grabs both his shoulders, startling him.

“Hey.” He turns around, fear evident in his eyes. His face is covered in dirt and sweat.

“Who are you? Let me go!” He tries to break free, but she holds him in place, remaining calm.

“There’s no one here. No one will hurt you.” Sasuke keeps his gaze on the ground, seeming afraid to look at his surroundings. Sakura decides to brighten the surroundings. Literally.

The sun slowly starts to rise, a colorful orange and yellow hue appearing from the horizon. Sasuke notices this and looks up to the sky. He can see the woods clearer now. The arrows stuck on the ground begin to crumble and sprout branches and leaves. The blood on the ground and barks slowly fades to nothing.

His eyes widen in surprise. Fear and terror seem to have dissipated from his eyes and Sakura can’t help but let out a relieved sigh.

“Look, there’s nothing here that will hurt you.” She points towards the path behind him. He turns around to see a clear road ahead of him. The trees surrounding him appear livelier. Birds are singing and the sun shines down on him, engulfing him with warmth that he hasn’t felt in a long time. He breathes in the clear air.  

Sakura takes his hand and starts walking along the path. He lets her lead him to wherever they’re going. A village is starting to come into view and before he knows it, he’s arrived at the entrance of his village, of the village where he grew up in.

He takes in the surroundings. Children are running around laughing, women are carrying tubs of leaves, and the men are carrying a boar, laughing and patting each other on the back, celebrating their hunt.

He can’t remember the last time he’s seen his village this happy. He feels his mind is more at ease as he finally spends a well-rested night.

.

.

He opens his eyes, and finds sunlight peeking through the cracks and edges of the house. He rubs his eyes and looks around. He sits up and notices he’s still at the shaman’s house. However, the shaman is nowhere to be found.

He spends some time to recollect his thoughts and remember what had happened the night before. He remembers seeing sunlight and trees in his dream. He remembers hearing children laughing. He gets up to find the shaman to thank her before he hears a door being opened.

Unbeknownst to him, a door at the back of the house open and he sees her walk in with a bowl and a glass of water.

“Good morning. I see you must’ve slept well last night.” She sets the items on the table in front of him and kneels. He sits himself back down.

“Thank you.” It’s the best rest he’s had in years and he has her to thank for it. She shakes her head and smiles at him.

“I’m glad I can help. Here’s some breakfast for you.” He eyes the bowl of soup in front of him and thanks her for the meal before downing it all in one go.

He gets up to head out for the forge.

“My name is Sasuke.” Sakura looks at him for a moment before responding.

“Nice to meet you, Sasuke. I’m Sakura.”

Sakura.

He will surely remember that name from now on..

.

.

tbc?

A/N: I have a few more ideas on how to expand the story. So let me know if you guys are interested in reading more :)

[m-a-salter]

fic writer interview

tagged by @talldecafcappuccino and @chainofclovers; how delightful!

name: m-a-salter

fandoms (i write for): Ted Lasso lately, but I’ve also posted little stories for Hunger Games, Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries, Death in Paradise, and Star Trek: Voyager. If we’re counting total number of words written (not posted, and of course you should not care about my unposted writing), I have been most prolific in Battlestar Galactica. Just haven’t gotten any of it out the door yet! I’ve also got some WIPs for Doctor Blake Mysteries (all Malice). In my youth I wrote in X-Files and West Wing.

two-shot: I have never posted anything but one-shots! Someday...

most popular multi-chapter: I am working on my first one, a (probably 4-chapter) bit of fluff giving Ted and Rebecca an alternate first meeting. I never would have guessed I would still be working on its first chapter on the eve of the start of season 2, but I am feeling grateful that it is an alternate timeline that cannot be disrupted by new canon.

actual worst part of writing: Proofreading? I usually experience a fairly sudden transition from feeling like a story is never going to be ready to feeling like it is so ready and I can’t wait to get it up. Once that happens, I find it very hard to have the patience to really read the thing a few more times. 

how you chose your titles: I don’t have one system. A line or phrase from the story that I think represents the theme is probably my modal style (Never Too Late, Century Partnership), but I am also partial to a bit of lyrics from the song that inspired the story (Whenever You’re Ready), and when I can’t think of anything clever, I go with straightforwardly descriptive (One Evening on the District 12 Train, Richmond Sunday Afternoon). 

do you outline: Sometimes, usually somewhere in the middle of the writing process. I tend to begin with a scene or a bit of dialogue I can’t stop thinking about, and then I use outlining as a method of brainstorming something resembling a plot that can contain that first little nucleus. Basically the amount of outlining I do is in proportion to the length of the finished product.

ideas I probably won’t get around to but wouldn’t it be nice: I really would someday like to finish this series of BSG stories I have planned and partially written (Earth turns out to be perfectly habitable, nobody dies, happy endings for all in a Roslin/Adama-Kara/Lee kind of way). But I find it hard to muster the energy to write in a fandom when I’m not at least somewhat actively watching the original, so realistically it won’t be until I do another re-watch. And that might go like the last one, generating 60,000 words of notes and disconnected scenes, but not finished stories! I am still trying to figure out when in my day/week to put my writing time, and as long as it is not a fixed routine I am more subject to the whims of my own obsession. So it would be nice to get my clockwork muse up and running. 

Callouts @ me: Folks often ask me to write more. I love a first-kiss, or first-confession-of-love fic, and often have little interest in what happens next (or, what happens next is smut that I don’t feel capable of writing). My primary criticism of myself is that I don’t write consistently. Which is probably the real reason for all my unfinished work. 

best writing traits: I think my best strength is not about the writing so much, but about my attitude toward it. I am good at writing to please myself, and I generally believe that that is enough. I can easily just decide something is good enough, that it scratches a particular itch I had, and I don’t worry too much if other people are into it. And then when some people are, it’s impossibly lovely. I write fanfic in large part to try to train my brain to be more relaxed about this kind of thing in my other (non-fiction and professional) writing. The downside of this, of course, is that sometimes the half-written WIP is enough to scratch the itch. 

spicy tangential opinion: I have never cared very much about whether the  ‘ships I ‘ship becomes canon. Perhaps this is a result of some of my earliest ships: Toby/CJ, which never came close to happening, and Mulder/Scully, which was done very oddly. If TPTB aren’t going to do it exactly right, I would often rather they not do it at all, so one doesn’t have to contend with their weird takes. I don’t like to give the owners of the IP too much power over me. It seems to be an important premise of this avocation. This is not to say I don’t like using canon as a writing constraint--that is a fun exercise. And I do usually like to see my ships come to fruition in canon because I like to see hot people making out on my screen. But in my mind that is a separate payoff from knowing that the relationship is canon. And to some extent one can get one’s kicks in that way through other means: 

I would love to hear from: @allisonwithcats @professortennant @rahleeyah​ @theodore-lasso @doctoraliceharvey