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c-ptsdrecovery · 5 years ago

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1. They behave unethically.

According to clinical psychologist Ryan Howes, Ph.D, “Any signs that therapy is moving from a professional and empathic relationship to a romantic one should be considered a bright red flag.” (He recommended reading this page for more information.)

But unethical behavior isn’t just sexual advances. It also includes “violations of confidentiality or financial wrongdoings” and offensive comments, said Joyce Marter, LCPC, a therapist and owner of the counseling practice Urban Balance. For instance, a friend of Marter’s had an already-pricey therapist who charged his clients while he was on vacation. In graduate school, Marter had an initial consult with a therapist who made a racist remark. She never went back.

2. They ignore confidentiality and emergency protocol.

Therapists should have you complete an intake form to provide information in case of an emergency, said Jeffrey Sumber, M.A., a psychotherapist, author and teacher. Similarly, every therapist should discuss your rights with you, including the times when they are required by law to break confidentiality, Sumber said. (You’ll also need to sign the confidentiality agreement.)

3. They don’t specialize in your issue.

Hibbert, an expert in postpartum mental health, regularly sees the devastating results from lack of expertise. For instance, she’s seen new moms hospitalized for a month because their clinicians believed they were psychotic. In actuality, they had postpartum obsessive-compulsive disorder, which is nonthreatening and treatable with therapy and medication, she said.

Find clinicians who are trained in what you’re struggling with, she said. Some therapists may simply have exposure in a particular disorder, instead of expertise, said Deborah Serani, Psy.D, a clinical psychologist and author of the book Living with Depression.

She suggested asking specific questions about certificates, diplomas and experience. For instance, when you ask “How many clients have you treated with depression?” you don’t want to hear ‘a handful,’ you want to hear ‘dozens or hundreds,’” she said.

Because she doesn’t have training in substance abuse or eating disorders, Serani refers individuals with these issues to colleagues who do. “Good therapists always know the limits of their expertise,” Serani said. Even if you are seeing an expert in the field, don’t be afraid to seek a second opinion, Hibbert added.

4. Their recommendations go against your beliefs.

Hibbert works with members of her church and has heard of clinicians making suggestions that conflict with their beliefs and values. “A good therapist should work within your own value system,” she said.

5. They dodge your questions.

“Therapists don’t answer every question,” said Howes, who also authors the blog “In Therapy.” That’s because the focus is on you. However, they should answer reasonable questions clearly and directly, he said. These questions can be “general get-to-know-you questions to anything pertaining to treatment.”

Howes gave these examples: “Where are you from? What interested you [to] this line of work? Did you have a nice vacation? How long have you been in practice? Do you have experience with my issue? What do you recommend we do to treat this problem? How do you think therapy is going? How do you feel about our relationship?”

6. They over-share.

On the other hand, Howes said, “some therapists share too much about their own life, drawing attention to themselves and potentially pulling you in to take care of them.” He noted that every disclosure a clinician makes should benefit you in some way. (“You’re always welcome to ask how their story helps you,” he added.)

“A good therapist knows boundaries, keeps personal issues tucked away and always strives to make the session treatment productive for their client,” Serani said.

7. You feel worse after your session – regularly.

“This might happen on occasion, even with a therapist that you love, but if it’s happening all the time, then something is not right,” Hibbert said.

8. You feel judged, shamed or emotionally unsafe.

According to Marter, this includes anything a therapist might say or do, such as rolling their eyes. Marter stopped seeing a therapist because of a similar experience.

I saw a therapist for a few months who came highly recommended but seemed to hold a magnifying glass to all of my issues. I felt worse. I talked with her about it and felt even more pathologized. I was confused about whether she was just helping me see my ��stuff” and I was being defensive, but made the choice to tell her I needed to end our work together. It turns out, this was the beginning of me setting healthy boundaries for myself and also led to my finding a therapist with whom I feel completely safe and positively regarded, even when we are processing my less than desirable aspects of self.

9. They’re a lousy listener.

While a therapist might not remember minute details, they should remember key facts about you and your concerns. According to Howes:

Not every therapist will remember your dog’s name, where you went to high school, and your favorite breakfast cereal every week. But they should recall your name and what brought you to therapy in the first place. If you feel like you’re constantly replaying your first session to help them help you better, you may want to take your business elsewhere.

10. They disrupt the session.

This includes answering phone calls — unless there’s an emergency — texting or even falling asleep. As Serani said, “A good therapist makes you the only focus.”

11. You just don’t feel “right.”

Howes and Hibbert stressed the importance of trusting your gut. “Sometimes there is no obvious reason — you just don’t feel it’s right,” Hibbert said. According to Howes:

If you feel like something isn’t right in your first phone call or initial session, this may be a bad sign. Some discomfort is a normal part of therapy, just as seeing a personal trainer isn’t always comfortable, but if you feel uncomfortable to the point of dreading or avoiding sessions, you may want to keep looking.

As Duffy said, “you should also feel comfortable in the atmosphere, physically, spiritually and emotionally, that your therapist provides.”

Of course, therapists may make mistakes. They’re only human. Marter shared a story about a friend’s beloved therapist forgetting their appointment. The therapist walked into the waiting room — in her home office — wearing a robe and slippers 15 minutes after their session was supposed to start. The therapist was surprised to see her client, but she was extremely apologetic. “Such human mistakes should be processed directly and can be opportunities for growth,” Marter said.

Finding a good therapist with the expertise you need isn’t easy. But paying attention to these red flags can give you some guidance on when to walk away, and continue looking for a therapist who is right for you.

#therapy #therapists

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mxenigmatic · 4 years ago

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2020’s Self Care Books for Trying Times

With Covid-19 a global pandemic that is still lingering in the air, and keeping our connections at a social distance, added how here at NYPL our librarians miss the frequent interactions with our patrons, I was contemplating on ways to keep our reading connected, our souls warm, and our health having its self care. Before google, I’d rely on the plethora of information our branches hold on any challenge in life I’d be facing. Now with a myriad of problems we can tackle, and resources we can all use to improve our lives, I wanted to tackle grounding and elevating ourselves to cope with our surroundings, than advice I can provide on financial, relationship, life goals, etc.

In this blog “2020’s Self Care Books 4 Trying Times” I’ve comprised my 20 favorite titles for the year 2020 on wellness, people’s journeys, and how health experts can help guide us to a calm and vibrant place for our wellbeing. From parenting tips, to self acceptance, coping with a mental health disorder, or even self care rituals, the need for healthy habits is a topic we all can relate and rely on to keep us striving through this winter, and being united through our current unstable climate. We should never be ashamed of our experiences, asking for help, and addressing challenges in our lives to be at peace with our pasts, content with our present, and hopeful about our futures.

What is Self-care, according to very well mind, describes a conscious act one takes in order to promote their own physical, mental, and emotional health. There are many forms self-care may take. It could be ensuring you get enough sleep every night or stepping outside for a few minutes for some fresh air.

What is mindfulness? Mindfulness refers to being in the moment. This means feeling what our bodies feel, letting ourselves think without judging our thoughts, and being aware of our environment. It is about paying attention on purpose to both what is happening inside and outside of you.

ADULT

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change by Stephen R. Covey

Topics: Professional Development, Success, Psych Evaluation

One of the most inspiring and impactful books ever written, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People has captivated readers for nearly three decades. It has transformed the lives of presidents and CEOs, educators and parents—millions of people of all ages and occupations. Now, this 30th anniversary edition of the timeless classic commemorates the wisdom of the 7 habits with modern additions from Sean Covey. The 7 habits have become famous and are integrated into everyday thinking by millions and millions of people. Why? Because they work!With Sean Covey's added takeaways on how the habits can be used in our modern age, the wisdom of the 7 habits will be refreshed for a new generation of leaders.

Stay Positive: Encouraging Quotes and Messages to Fuel Your Life With Positive Energy by Jon Gordon

Topics: Self Help, Affirmations, Optimism

Stay Positive is more than a phrase. It's an approach to life that says when you get knocked down, you'll get back up and find a way forward one faithful step and optimistic day at a time. Start your day with a message from the book, or pick it up anytime you need a mental boost. You can start from the beginning, or open the book to any page and find a message that speaks to you. The book is a go-to resource for anyone wanting to inject a healthy dose of positivity into their life

$9 Therapy: Semi-Capitalist Solutions to Your Emotional Problems by Megan Reid and Nick Greene

Topics: Life Skills/Hacks, Self Care Rituals, Budgeting

A collection of the authors' favorite life hacks and mini-upgrades, such as craft cocktails on the cheap or tips for a perfectly planned staycation. Sometimes it takes as little as nine dollars to turn your life around. How to find simple pleasures in a pricey, wellness-obsessed world.

You Were Born For This: Astrology for Radical Self-Acceptance by Chani Nicholas

Topics: Astrology, Self Acceptance

A revolutionary empowerment book that uses astrology as a tool for self-discovery, success, and self-care from the beloved astrologer Chani Nicholas, a media darling with a loyal following of one million monthly readers.

TEEN

Teaching Mindfulness to Empower Adolescents by Matthew Brensilver

Topics: Mindfulness, Educational Guides, Learning Disabilities, Reflections

Effectively sharing mindfulness with teenagers depends on distinct skill sets . . . done well, it is incredibly joyous." Matthew Brensilver, JoAnna Hardy and Oren Jay Sofer provide a powerful guide to help teachers master the essential competencies needed to successfully share mindfulness practices with teens and adolescents. Incorporating anecdotes from actual teaching, they blend the latest scientific research with innovative, original techniques for making the practices accessible and interesting to this age group. This text is an indispensable handbook for mindfulness instruction in its own right, and a robust companion volume for teachers using The Mindful Schools Curriculum for Adolescents

The Self-Love Revolution: Radical Body Positivity for Girls of Color by Virgie Tovar

Topics: Self Esteem, Plus Size Positivity, Hygiene

Every day we see body ideals depicted in movies, magazines, and social media. And, all too often, these outdated standards make us feel like we need to change how we look and who we are. The truth is that many teens feel self-conscious about their bodies and being a teen girl of color is hard in unique ways. So, how can you start feeling good about yourself when you're surrounded by these unrealistic, and problematic images of what bodies are "supposed" to look like? This book is an unapologetic guide to help you embrace radical body positivity. You'll identify and challenge mainstream beliefs about beauty and bodies; celebrate what makes you unique and powerful; and build real, lasting body empowerment. You'll also learn how to spot diet culture and smash your noisy inner critic so you can start loving your body. It's time to create your own definition of beautiful and recognize that your body is amazing. It's time for a self-love revolution!

Out!: How To Be Your Authentic Self by Miles McKenna

Topics: Coming Out, Self Acceptance, Family Dynamics

Activist Miles McKenna came out on his YouTube channel in 2017, documenting his transition to help other teens navigate their identities and take charge of their own coming out stories. From that wisdom comes Out!, the ultimate YA guide to the queer lifestyle. Find validation, inspiration, and support for your questions big and small--whether you're exploring your identity or seeking to understand the experience of an awesome queer person in your life."

Dancing at the Pity Party: A Dead Mom Graphic Memoir by Tyler Feder

Topics: Grief Counseling, Coping with terminal illness, Bereavement. Family Estrangement

Tyler Feder shares her story of her mother's first oncology appointment to facing reality as a motherless daughter in this frank and refreshingly funny graphic memoir.

Superpowered: Transform Anxiety Into Courage, Confidence, and Resilience by Renee Jain and Dr. Shefali Tsabary

Topics: Health, Fitness, Selt Esteem.

The perfect tool for children facing new social and emotional challenges in an increasingly disconnected world! This how-to book from two psychology experts—packed with fun graphics and quizzes—will help kids transform stress, worry, and anxiety

Teen Guide to Mental Health by Don Nardo

Topics: Teens, Mental Health, Body Image, Puberty

Todays teens face and are expected to deal with a wide array of personal, social, and other issues involving home-life, school, dating, body image, sexual orientation, major life transitions, and in some cases physical and mental problems, including eating disorders and depression. This volume examines how many teens have learned to cope with and survive these often stressful trials and tribulations of modern youth.

KIDS

Turtle Boy by Evan Wolkenstein

Topics: Social Life, Friends, Relationships, School Stress

Seventh grade is not going well for Will Levine. Kids at school bully him because of his funny-looking chin. His science teacher finds out about the turtles he spent his summer collecting from the marsh behind school an orders him to release them back into the wild. And for his Bar Mitzvah community service project, he has to go to the hospital to visit RJ, an older boy struggling with an incurable disease. Unfortunately, Will hates hospitals. At first, the boys don't get along, but then RJ shares his bucket list with Will. Among the things he wants to do: ride a roller coaster, go to a concert and a school dance, swim in the ocean. To Will, happiness is hanging out in his room, alone, preferably with his turtles. But as RJ's disease worsens, Will realizes he needs to tackle the bucket list on his new friend's behalf before it's too late. It seems like an impossible mission, way outside Will's comfort zone. But as he completes each task with RJ's guidance, Will learns that life is too short to live in a shell.

How To Make A Better World: For Every Kid Who Wants To Make A Difference by Keilly Swift

Topics: Activism, Human Rights, Organizing

If you are a kid with big dreams and a passion for what is right, you're a world-changer in the making. There's a lot that can be changed by just one person, if you know what to do. Start by making yourself into the awesome person you want to be by learning all about self-care and kindness. Using those skills, work your way up to creating activist campaigns to tackle climate change or social injustice. This fun and inspiring guide to making the world a better place and becoming a good citizen is packed with ideas and tips for kids who want to know how to make a difference. From ideas as small as creating a neighborhood lending library to important ideas such as public speaking and how to talk about politics, How to Make a Better World is a practical guide to activism for awesome kids.

All About Anxiety by Carrie Lewis

Anxiety. It's an emotion that rears its head almost every day, from the normal worries and concerns that most of us experience, to outright fear when something scary happens, to the anxiety disorders, that many kids live with daily. But what causes anxiety? And what can we do about it? All About Anxiety tackles these questions from every possible angle. Readers will learn what's going on in their brain and central nervous system when they feel anxious. They'll learn about the evolutionary reasons for fear and anxiety and that anxiety isn't always a bad thing--except for when it is! Most importantly, kids will discover new strategies to manage their anxiety so they can live and thrive with anxiety

Dictionary for a better world: poems, quotes, and anecdotes from A to Z by Irene Latham

Topics: Inspiration, Self Help, Advice

Organized as a dictionary, entries in this book for middle-grade readers present words related to creating a better, more inclusive world. Each word is explored via a poem, a quote from an inspiring person, and a short personal anecdote from one of the co-authors, a prompt for how to translate the word into action, and an illustration".

I feel... meh by DJ Corchin

(E-book)Topics: Health, Fitness, Management

This series helps kids recognize, express, and deal with the roller coaster of emotions they feel every day. It has been celebrated by therapists, psychologists, teachers, and parents as wonderful tools to help children develop self-awareness for their feelings and those of their friends. Sometimes I feel meh and I don't want to play. I don't want to read and I have nothing to say. Sometimes you just feel...meh. You don't really feel like doing anything or talking to anyone. You're not even sure how you're feeling inside. Is that bad? With fun, witty illustrations and simple, straightforward text, I Feel...Meh tackles apathy—recognizing it as a valid emotion, while also offering practical steps to get you out of your emotional slump. It's the perfect way for kids—and adults—who are feeling gray to find some joy again!

Violet Shrink by Christine Baldacchino

Topics: Phobias, Relationships, Social Skills

Violet Shrink doesn't like parties. Or bashes, or gatherings. Lots of people and lots of noise make Violet's tummy ache and her hands sweat. She would much rather spend time on her own, watching the birds in her backyard, reading comics, or listening to music through her purple headphones. The problem is that the whole Shrink family loves parties with loud music and games and dancing. At cousin Char's birthday party, Violet hides under a table and imagines she is a shark gliding effortlessly through the water, looking for food. And at Auntie Marlene and Uncle Leli's anniversary bash, Violet sits alone at the top of the stairs, imagining she is a slithering snake way up in the branches. When Violet learns that the Shrink family reunion is fast approaching, she musters up the courage to have a talk with her dad. In this thoughtful story about understanding and acceptance, Violet's natural introversion and feelings of social anxiety are normalized when she and her father reach a solution together. Christine Baldacchino's warm text demonstrates the role imagination often plays for children dealing with anxiety, and the power of a child expressing their feelings to a parent who is there to listen. Carmen Mok's charming illustrations perfectly capture Violet's emotions and the vibrancy of her imagination. A valuable contribution to books addressing mental health."-- Provided by publisher.

Check out this link to a presentation by NYPL’s Children’s Librarians, Sarah West and Justine Toussaint on Mindfulness/Social-Emotional Self-Esteem Picture Book Spotlight. Featuring popular book titles in our database of the past few years promoting kids well beings!

Pre-2020 Books

Aphorism by Franz Kafka

Topics: Life Quotes, Recovery, Future Planning

For the first time, a single volume that collects all of the aphorisms penned by this universally acclaimed twentieth-century literary figure. Kafka twice wrote aphorisms in his lifetime. The first effort was a series of 109, known as the Zurau Aphorisms, which were written between September 1917 and April 1918, and originally published posthumously by his friend, Max Brod, in 1931. These aphorisms reflect on metaphysical and theological issues--as well as the occasional dog. The second sequence of aphorisms, numbering 41, appears in Kafka's 1920 diary dating from January 6 to February 29. It is in these aphorisms, whose subject is "He," where Kafka distills the unexpected nature of experience as one shaped by exigency and possibility."

This Book Loves You by PewDiePie

Topics: Life Skills, Inspiration, Food 4 Thought

A popular blogger shares humorous pieces of advice and positivity, including "Never forget you are beautiful compared to a fish" and "Every day is a new fresh start to stay in bed."

The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A Fuck: A Counterintuitive Approach To Living A Good Life by Mark Manson

Topic: Self Help, Happiness, Motivation

In this generation-defining self-help guide, a superstar blogger shows us that the key to being happier is to stop trying to be 'positive' all the time and instead become better at handling adversity. For decades we've been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. But those days are over. 'Fuck positivity, ' Mark Manson says. 'Let's be honest; sometimes things are fucked up and we have to live with it.' For the past few years, Manson--via his wildly popular blog--has been working on correcting our delusional expectations for ourselves and for the world. He now brings his hard-fought wisdom to this groundbreaking book. Manson makes the argument--backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes--that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to better stomach lemons. Human beings are flawed and limited--as he writes, 'Not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault.' Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. This, he says, is the real source of empowerment. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties--once we stop running from and avoiding, and start confronting painful truths--we can begin to find the courage and confidence we desperately seek. 'In life, we have a limited amount of fucks to give. So you must choose your fucks wisely.' Manson brings a much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders moment of real-talk, filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humor. This manifesto is a refreshing slap in the face for all of us so we can start to lead more contented, grounded lives."

Zen Pencils: Cartoon Quotes From Inspirational Folks by Gavin Aung Than

Topics: Writing Development, Expression, Quotes

Gavin Aung Than, an Australian graphic designer turned cartoonist, started the weekly Zen Pencils blog in February 2012. He describes his motivation for launching Zen Pencils: I was working in the boring corporate graphic design industry for eight years before finally quitting at the end of 2011 to pursue my passion for illustration and cartooning. At my old job, when my boss wasn't looking, I would waste time reading Wikipedia pages, main biographies about people whose lives were a lot more interesting than mine. Their stories and quotes eventually inspired me to leave my job to focus on what I really wanted to do. The idea of taking these inspiring quotes, combining them with my love of drawing, and sharing them with others led to the creation of Zen Pencils.

By: @Mx.Enigma

She/They/Queen

#new blog #booksarelife #self care #library #nyc #nonbinary #nypl #life hacks

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aplaceforthesoul · 4 years ago

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how do i find a therapist? i live in ma and im a 15 year old female but im having trouble any advice?

hey there ♥️ I’m (hopefully!) right in thinking that saying you live in ma means you live in Massachusetts, USA? there’ll be some links and resources below that’s related to massachusetts, so if that’s not correct then please let me know and I’ll make some edits.

this is a good question though! there’s always so much advice saying to “seek professional help” but not always as many resources on how��to do that, which isn’t super helpful. there’s a number of different things you can do:

you can try using psychology today to find a therapist in your area? just type in your zipcode and it should come up with some potential options for you -- you can narrow it down to the county you live in, as well as make a more specific search for particular concerns (depression, eating disorders, etc).

there’s the mental health counseling services website for massachusetts, and the network of care for massachusetts website which has more specific info

making an appointment with your local doctor can also be a good place to start. since you’re 15 you’ll probs need your parents to come with you, so if you’re not wanting to tell your parents right away what’s going on then this might not be the right option just yet (if that’s the case, that’s ok).

since you’re 15 and not yet an adult? making some time to see the guidance counsellor at your school could be useful too – a) they’re free, b) they’re very easy to access, c) the info you tell them still remains private and confidential (unless they believe you to be at risk to yourself or others). you don’t need to get your parent’s permission to see the counsellor at school, and even if the counsellor turns out to be not that great? they can still provide you with some good resources and other places to seek help

there’s now a handy and accessible online option for therapy too. it doesn’t always suit everyone, but still worth looking into! there are free crisis chat options online or free ‘counselling’ options from places like blahtherapy and 7cupsoftea that could be helpful for you.

if you have any financial concerns about how to pay for therapy when it’s in person? there are clinics which operate on a “sliding scale payment system”, meaning that you pay according to your financial situation instead of a flat-rate fee. [this website is based in canada and may not be helpful if you don’t live there, but it’s a good example of what I’m talking about]. if you’re booking an appointment online then search the website to see if you can find any info on payment plans, if you’re making an appointment over the phone then ask the person on reception if they have a sliding scale payment system available and see what they say.

I hope this helps lovely, let me know how things go and if there’s anything else we can help with xxx - tash

#advice #getting help #ma #massachusetts #advice blog #therapist #mental health #therapy #tash

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ghostofviperwrites · 5 years ago

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Therapy

Featuring: LIJ; Hiromu Takahashi/FC

Category: Smut

Granted you were relatively new to practicing, but you were pretty sure in order for counseling to work the participants actually needed to speak. You had started working as staff counselor for New Japan Pro Wrestling a little over a month ago as they felt they should have someone on staff for their employees to speak with if necessary. New Japan was making at least three visits mandatory and if they wished to continue after that they were free to. You supposed your early success had set you up for failure. The first group you had worked with, called Chaos, had been simply charming to work with. Even the one called the stone pit bull, Tomohiro Ishii, had been a delight. Quiet, but still willing to work with you and open up.

Then along came your second group, Los Ingobernables de Japon. So far you had met with two members and you had yet to get a single word out of either. The first one you had met with honestly had to stop yourself from staring. Seiya Sanada was perfection personified as far as you were concerned. Unfortunately, his attitude left a lot to be desired. You could tell the second he walked through the door that he would rather be anywhere else. You had tried to ease the tension with small talk, little jokes, and inane banter but he had simply stared at you in silence, occasionally gracing you with a roll of his eyes. You had thought that was the longest hour of your life until Tetsuya Naito came along.

You had stepped out for five minutes to use the restroom and refill your water and when you returned he had been there, stretched out along the couch, eyes closed and looking deep in peaceful slumber. Your attempts to wake him had been futile, resulting in you getting brushed off with an irritated hand. You were at a loss as to what to do with these men. You didn’t know how you could be expected to do your job in the face of utter noncompliance.

So, after sitting in uncomfortable silence for an hour you had headed to the office of your supervisor. You needed some guidance before your appointment with the next member of Los Ingobernables, Evil. With a name like that you and based on your first two experiences with the group you had a feeling you were going to need some help. Thirty minutes later when you left his office you felt more disheartened than ever. Apparently, the group well lived up to their name and were essentially given free reign. Giving your supervisor’s descriptions, you were surprised New Japan was actually forcing them to participate in these sessions. As far as you could tell they were generally allowed to roam wild. All in all, you could say you were not looking forward to your remaining appointments.

Needless to say, you were somewhat shocked when Evil appeared in your doorway early, a glower on his face as he ambled into the room. Darkly intimidating was the first impression that came to your mind. The man seemed to carry an aura of darkness as he entered though you knew that was fanciful thinking. Dressed in all black, rainbow colored hair pulled back into a ponytail the man presented a rather striking picture. He sat on the sofa, slinging an arm along the back of it and the other on the arm rest and stared expectantly at you.

“I understand you prefer to be addressed by your ring name? Evil, correct?” You asked getting a single nod in acknowledgement. A small smile formed on your lips as you got more interaction from him than you had in your previous two sessions. “Well Evil, my name is Dr. Chie Ota. I was brought in by New Japan to assist you in navigating the ever-increasing press demands and the international expansion of the company. There has been a lot of changes over the past year and it can get overwhelming. This first session is kind of a get to know you interview. To make you feel comfortable talking to me and allowing me to get a feel for you as a person.”

“Dr. Ota.” He said, drawing out your name making it sound like a caress. “You want to get a feel for me? Why don’t you put your hands down my pants and get a real good feel of my cock?”

“I beg your pardon?” You asked, fully offended by his crude words. “How dare you!”

“What?” Evil asked with a shrug. “I’m honestly surprised you made it through Sanada and Naito without one of them propositioning you. Or straight up fucking you.”

“I would never engage in inappropriate relations with my clients and I’m frankly offended that you would even suggest such a thing.” You said glaring at the infuriating man.

“Then frankly I’m wasting my time.” Evil said tossing your words back at you and rising to his feet. “I only showed up because I figured you would at least wrap your lips around my dick.”

You stared open mouthed as he walked out of your session without a backwards glance. Suddenly you preferred the oppressive silence from the other two members to that behavior. Seeing as you suddenly had about forty free minutes due to the unexpectedly short session with Evil you decided to go through your notes on sessions with Chaos. Remind yourself that you hadn’t been a complete failure thus far.

You were still making studious notes when Tetsuya Bushi arrived replete with mask firmly affixed over his face. Looking up at the masked man you tilted your head considering him as he strode with confidence into the room, opting to take a seat in the arm chair rather than the couch as all his stablemates had before him.

“Do you not feel comfortable with me?” You asked. “There’s no need to hide behind the mask.”

“I’m not hiding.” Bushi said with a smirk. “I am never more who I am than when I’m wearing a mask. You want to know me, know the mask.”

“You don’t feel like you’re protecting yourself behind it?” You asked him, observing his reaction closely.

“That’s cute.” He chuckled making your lips turn in a small frown. You didn’t like feeling like he was mocking you. “Why don’t you read up on the significance of the mask and what it means to those that wear them. Then maybe I’ll consider discussing something so personal to me.”

“Maybe it would do you some good to talk about it.” You suggested. “You’re here with me. This is completely confidential. You can let your thoughts out, reveal what makes you wear the mask.”

“My family knows exactly why I wear the mask. They are the only ones that matter.” Bushi said plainly.

“Your family? You have a wife? Or your parents?” You said, pen poised at the ready to delve into his mind.

“No. My brothers. Los Ingobernables. Evil, Sanada, Naito, Hiromu. My family. They know me, and they are the only ones that need to. I’m certainly not going to spill my guts to some bitch I just met.”

You once again found yourself speechless, mind racing as you tried to formulate a response.

“You’re wasting your time with us.” Bushi said rising to his feet and smoothing out his vest. “We don’t need you. We have each other. Go play doctor with someone else.”

You glared at his retreating back only gathering your words together after he was long gone.

“I’m not playing doctor.” You shouted uselessly. “I am well-qualified and fully accredited.” You huffed indignantly flustered with the audacity of the entire group. Yes, you decided that Sanada and Naito were by far your two favorites of the group. You would much prefer to be ignored than to be belittled like Evil and Bushi had done to you.

It was with dread that you sat waiting for the final member of Los Ingobernables to make his appearance. You weren’t quite sure what to expect. Based on what you had heard Hiromu was a lost cause. Completely off his rocker, naïve and childlike. You had heard about the cat he treated as a son and his unhealthy obsession with it. When he walked into the room you hated to admit it, but your heart fluttered a little. You weren’t expecting the handsome man with the bedroom eyes that seemed to draw you in without even trying. A playful smile was on his lips and he sauntered into the room as if he didn’t have a care in the world, dramatically flopping down on the couch, legs spread wide and looking at you as if he could read your soul.

“You look upset my dear.” He said, his voice like silk washing over you. “What’s troubling you?”

You were taken aback by the absolute sincerity that seemed to shine in his eyes and before you knew it you found yourself answering. “It’s been a rough day. Your stablemates haven’t given me the easiest of times today.” You confessed.

“Yes, well, they can be quite the handful. Rather troublesome.” Hiromu said nodding in commiseration with your troubles. “Would you like to tell me about it?” He leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees an earnest expression on his face.

You found yourself confiding in him, all your frustrations with them flowing out as you told Hiromu about Sanada unveiled disdain for you, Naito sleeping through your session, Evil’s proposition and Bushi’s outright dismissal. All the while Hiromu nodded along in sympathy, making appropriate noises as he tsked at his brothers’ antics.

“You poor thing.” He said when your rant was over. “That must have been so frustrating for you. All your attempts at help rebuffed so rudely. All your hard work dismissed so callously.”

“It really was. All I wanted to do was help.” Your voice broke and you were embarrassed as tears filled your eyes. You were vaguely aware of Hiromu’s hand landing on your knee, his thumb rubbing soothingly along the inside of your leg.

“That was so unfair to you. Here you are giving your time and they can’t be bothered to appreciate you.” Hiromu said softly his hand creeping up your leg to rest on your thigh. “I appreciate you. I’m here for you.”

“You are?” You asked wide-eyed and full of hope. It had been such a rough day. All you wanted was for someone to understand you, realize your job wasn’t easy.

“I am.” Hiromu affirmed. When his hand reached to stroke your cheek, you leaned into the touch, eyes closing in pleasure as his other hand continued rubbing your thigh and the warmth of his hand seeped into your face. “I wanna make you feel better. Make you forget about how unspeakably rude my friends were to you. Can I help you forget?” he asked, his voice hypnotically lulling.

“Yes.” You breathed wanting nothing more than to forget this awful day and those awful men. The word had barely left your mouth before Hiromu’s lips were on yours, so soft and full that they felt like heaven as he kissed you lightly before stroking his tongue along your bottom lip seeking entrance to your mouth. You parted your lips, moaning as Hiromu’s tongue entered and stroked your tongue with languid movements. His hand on your face moved to cup the back of your neck drawing you closer to him, pulling you until you moved to straddle his waist, never breaking from your mouth. His hand danced along your thigh, dancing along your slacks and moving to rub your mound between your bodies.

Your hands moved to his hair, sliding through the silky mass as he masterfully plundered your mouth, your hips rocked trying to push against his hand and get more friction from him.

“You want my hand there?” Hiromu said separating from your mouth. “Do you my fingers to make you forget?”

“Please.” You said pulling his mouth back to yours, addicted to whatever it was he was doing to you.

“Stand up and take of your clothes.” Hiromu said gently pushing you off his lap. He leaned back watching with hooded eyes as you stripped off your clothing, never stopping to think for one moment how you were crossing every professional boundary there was. All that was in your mind was how good Hiromu was making you feel, how his words were a soothing balm to your shattered psyche.

You climbed back onto his lap, immediately meeting his lips as his hand hovered over your pussy, fingers teasingly tapping against your flesh until you begged him to touch you. His fingers slipped inside you, thumb rolling tantalizing patterns on your clit as you moved yourself in rhythm with his hand. When his mouth left yours you whimpered in protest, but it quickly turned to a moan of pleasure as he latched onto your nipple, sucking it into his mouth and using that talented tongue to tease it into a rock-hard peak before moving to the other breast and repeating his teasing.

“Come for me sweetheart. Let all that bad stuff out.” Hiromu cooed, nipping at your nipple with his teeth and making you gasp as your pussy clenched around his hand, your breath coming in pants as you came all over his hand. “Good girl.” He praised. “Am I making you feel so good?”

“God yes Hiromu.” You moaned.

“Do you want me inside you?” He asked, continuing to stroke his fingers along your sensitive flesh as you shuddered around him. You nodded quickly in agreement, moving to allow him to pull his cock out, eyes widening as you saw just how thick and long he was, and you eagerly moved, guiding his tip to your opening. “That’s right baby, take my cock in.”

You eyes closed in pleasure when he was fully seated inside you, taking a moment to adjust to him before you began moving and Hiromu gripped your hips guiding you up and down his pole. Picking up the pace Hiromu thrust up into you, fingers biting into the tender flesh of your waist as he moved you almost frantically, your eyes flying open to watch him as his head lead back on the couch, his eyes scrunched closed in concentration and pleasure as he muttered incoherent curses before his hips stilled and you felt his warm seed filling you as his grip loosened.

It was only after he was gone and the pleasure had seeped from your body that you realized exactly what you had done and the line you had crossed. You hurried through the hallways looking for Hiromu, needing his reassurance that he wouldn’t tell anyone. That he wouldn’t jeopardize your career and license by telling anyone he had fucked you.

“If I had realized you were offering personal services, maybe I would have opened up to you.” You spun around, eyes wide to see Sanada looking you over with a smirk.

“I’m sorry?” You asked, hoping with everything in you that he didn’t mean what you thought he did.

“I’m just saying if you had offered to suck my cock I would have been a little more receptive to your counseling attempts.” Sanada said.

“I have no idea what your talking about.” You bluffed, hoping your panic wasn’t showing on your face.

“You know exactly what I’m talking about.” He said with a shake of his head. “I can’t believe you fell for that shit. Hiromu played you like a violin.”

“He did not play me.” You said heatedly. “Hiromu has compassion, unlike you. He was there for me after the horrendous way you all treated me.” You wanted to slap the smug grin off his face when he laughed at you, shaking his head at you in pity before walking away.

You tried to shake off the feeling that something was terribly wrong as you hurried through the hallways, urgently seeking Hiromu. You had to make sure he didn’t tell anyone else. You felt a surge of relief when you found him in the cantina, Naito and Evil sitting with him and you hurried over, feeling a blush rise as they looked at you with you knowing smirks as Hiromu barely spared you a glance, taking a long pull from his water bottle as you stood there, shifting from foot to foot.

“Can I help you?” He finally asked as you continued standing there. Naito and Evil seemed to find that hilarious laughing loudly as you stared at Hiromu, trying to reconcile this man with the caring one from your office.

“I need you to stop telling people what happened in my office.” You said quietly, trying not to draw attention to the conversation.

“And why would I do that?” Hiromu asked. “Do you not want people to know you fucked your patient? That rather than giving me the counseling I so desperately needed you rode my cock instead?” He flashed you a taunting smile, daring you to contradict him.

“That’s not what happened and you know it!” You said furiously.

“Do I?” Hiromu asked shrewdly. “All I know is I show up for my session with you and the next thing I know your ranting about how horrible my brothers, my family are. Had to listen to you disparage them and call them names. Breaking their confidentiality. You have heard of doctor patient confidentiality haven’t you Dr. Ota? Cause I’m pretty sure you shattered it.”

You hung your head as you realized he was right, you had broken your oath by discussing your patients with him.

“I think it would serve all our best interests if you were to tell your boss that you didn’t feel it conducive to our well being to continue with therapy. Sign off on it and leave us alone, or your going to learn just how much trouble we can cause.”

You turned and rushed out of there, heading straight for your office, fighting back tears all the way. You had learned a hard lesson today from Los Ingobernables and as far as you were concerned Hiromu Takahashi was the worst of them all.

#hiromu takahashi fanfic #hiromu takahashi imagine #njpw fanfic #wrestling fanfic #mywriting #ghostofviperwrites

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faithambr · 7 years ago

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I Need a Miracle Chapter 6

(Author’s Note: I am so sorry that I have been able to update this story lately! I’ve just been so busy with everything that has been going on lately in my life! So this chapter was pretty easy to write, considering that I have been through some sort of counseling, during the process of my parents’ divorce. Now in this chapter, it contains the idea of Kristoff getting back into the family life with his wife and children. Also, there might be some subtle references to our lovely couple having reunion sex at the end of the chapter.)

Over the next couple of weeks, both Anna and Kristoff were in the process of rebuilding their marriage. Kristoff wanted to make sure that his wife was okay, despite all of their past experiences. Anna was praying constantly for her husband, hoping that he would heal his own wounds. She knew that it was going to take some time for him to heal, but she was hoping that he would be completely healed within the next couple of months.

“Anna,” a voice had interrupted her thoughts, “are you doing alright?”

“Yes,” Anna replied back while Kristoff pulls her hand into his, “I’m doing fine.”

“Great.” Kristoff calmly took her hand and kisses her wedding ring as they were cruising on down the road.

“How much longer til we get there?” Anna looks into her husband’s eyes.

“Oh about ten more minutes.” Kristoff reminds his wife lovingly.

“Oh.” she mouthed while she watched her husband drive them to the destination.

“What are you thinking about now, Anna?” Kristoff snatched a glance at his beautiful wife.

“You, Anna giggles slightly ash she moved a strand of his blond locks behind his ear, “me, and our beautiful little family.”

“I see.” Kristoff winks at Anna, making her heart soar on up to the sky.

Anna simply rolls her eyes at her husband’s adorable remarks. She smiled at the thought of what both her and her husband were going to do for the next hour or so. She couldn’t even believe that her husband was more than willing to actually rebuild their marriage, despite the statistics that were up against him. While they were still on the road, Anna took a nice long look at her love. Today, he had decided to wear his usual navy blue polo shirt, followed by a nice pair of jeans and his dark grey work boots. She noticed that her husband had seemed to be a bit more relaxed, yet he wore his concealed firearm on his waist band. She was going to ask him why he was carrying, but she knew that he was going to tell her that he keeps it on for safety.

“Anna,” her husband kisses her on the cheek sweetly, “we’re here.”

“Really?” Anna beams as they both got on out of the truck.

“Yep.” Kristoff holds his wife close after they had shut their doors and he locked up the truck.

Anna smiled up at her husband, lovingly. For once in their lives, both Anna and Kristoff were looking forward to rebuilding their love together.

“Hi there,” a young receptionist smiled while both Anna and Kristoff had entered into the building, “welcome, how can I help you today?”

“We have an appointment with Dr. Fredrickson.” Kristoff states as the both stood right in front of the small office space.

“Okay,” the receptionist skims through her files on the computer, “may I have a name sir?”

“Bjorman.” Anna had interfered, just before Kristoff could answer.

“Alrighty then.” the receptionist types up on her computer, “Dr. Fredrickson will see you two, shortly.”

Kristoff nods at her response, while Anna had made a bee-line to the small couch nearby. Anna couldn’t even wait to see and have another person express her feelings to. She knew that her husband was seeking counsel, after the undercover operation was over. However, she didn’t really expect her husband to change after the operation was over.

“Thinking about something?” a familiar voice had whispered in her ear.

“Yeah.” Anna looks over at her husband.

“You nervous?” Kristoff places a hand over hers.

“Yes,” Anna looks down at their hands, “it’s been a while since I’ve seen one.”

“I know.” her husband recalled.

“But I’m really looking forward to this.” Anna gently squeezes his hand.

“I know.” Kristoff gives her a knowing glance, just before someone came up to the young couple. “Hello Dr. Fredrickson.”

“Hello Kristoff,” an old short man shook Kristoff’s hand and then Anna’s, “ah you must be Anna.”

“Yes.” Anna replies shyly, right next to her husband.

“He told me a lot of good things about you.” Dr. Fredrickson chuckles softly, making Anna more comfortable around him. “You sure are beautiful, even more beautiful than the photo in his wallet.”

“Thank you, Dr. Fredrickson.” Anna blushes slightly, while her husband was a bit more red on his own cheeks.

“You’re welcome, Anna.” Dr. Fredrickson smiles as he guided them to a room nearby.

“He was not hitting on me, Kristoff.” Anna reminds her husband, just before they had entered into the room. “If that what’s you’re thinking.”

“Anna,” Kristoff rolls his eyes as they entered the room, “don’t worried, this guy is married.”

“Alright,” Dr. Fredrickson sat back down at his seat across from the young couple, “have a seat.”

Both Anna and Kristoff sat at opposite ends of the couch.

“So Anna,” the therapist began to question her, “is this your first time being with a therapist?”

“No,” she answers allowing her body to feel a bit more relaxed on the couch, “when I was younger, I went to therapy for a few months.”

“For?” Dr. Fredrickson noted in his little book.

“Prostitution.” Anna recalls from her memory. “Before I met Kristoff, I fell in love with a man that turned me out before I graduated high school.”

“I see,” the doctor wrote down in his notes, “could you please tell me more?”

While Anna was busy talking to the therapist, Kristoff was patiently listening to what she was talking about in her past life and then in her marriage. He cringed at the thought of her talking about her past. He didn’t want her to, but he knew that it would be one of the key factors to rebuilding their marriage. He couldn’t help but notice that she had her hair pulled back into a messy bun. Usually she wore her hair up either in a ponytail or into two plaits. He smiled at the thought of his wife wearing her hair up, while dealing with their children on a daily basis. He also noticed that she was wearing a simple floral patterned shirt, followed by a pair of light blue jeans and sneakers. He smiled at the thought of his wife wearing those clothes, without having to worry about people judging her. He continued on thinking about his wife until a voice had interrupted his thoughts.

“Kristoff,” a gentle nudge had snapped him back into reality, “Dr. Fredrickson wants to hear from you.”

“Alright.” Kristoff had coughed as he looked at Dr. Fredrickson.

“Sor,” the doctor began with a smile on his face, “what made you fall in love with your wife?”

Kristoff took a long loving look at his wife. “She’s amazing in my eyes. She over came so many obstacles in her life. She would often put others before herself. She’s a very supportive wife with the job that I have. Hell, she would often tay up late, just to hear how my day went.”

“I see.” Dr. Fredrickson kept his nose in the notepad. “Now when did you go undercover?”

“A few months ago.” Kristoff recalls.

“And you couldn’t tell your wife because...”

“The operation was confidential,” Kristoff continues, “and I didn’t even have the time to tell her.”

“In which that had made her worry about you.” the doctor had added.

“Correct.” Anna interferes. “I didn’t even hear from him, until his boss calls me one night. When she did call me, I cried and told her that he needed to come home.”

“I see,” Dr. Fredrickson listens to Anna’s words, “now how did you feel when he came home?”

“I was thrilled but...” Anna stops as she looks to her husband for guidance.

“It’s okay.” he mouths, making her feel comfortable.

“But then I noticed a change in his behavior.” Anna tries her best to finish with confidence.

“Okay.” Dr. Fredrickson states. “Now how did you feel about his change in behavior?”

“I felt like I’ve lost the love of my life.” Anna sniffles. “He was completely guarded, didn’t want to tell me what happened, and how he managed to escape it.”

“I see,” Dr. Fredrickson took a side glance at Kristoff, “now why were you acting this way towards Anna?”

“Cause I didn’t want to tell her everything that had happened.” Kristoff gave his wife a sympathetic look. “I’m so sorry for hurting you Anna.”

“I know.” Anna smiles warmly through her tears. “I forgive you.”

“Now,” the doctor continues, “how do you feel about each other, today?”

“I feel that this experience,” Anna took her husband’s hand into hers, “had definitely changed the both of us. More of him than me.”

“I see.”

“I felt that I’ve lost her,” Kristoff kissed her hand sweetly, “but she came back to me.”

Anna gave him a teary-eyed smile. “I didn’t want to lose you, Kristoff.”

The doctor gave them both a sincere smile.

“I love you goofball.” Anna giggled while wiping away her tears.

“I love you, feistypants.” Kristoff gave her a loving look, making her heart swell up with joy.

“Now that’s a picture perfect relationship right there,” the doctor gave them a proud smile, “but I do suggest that the both of you should continue on coming here at least once a week.”

“Thank you.” Kristoff stated.

“You’re welcome,” Dr. Fredrickson kept his eye on Kristoff, “now can you do one thing for your wife?”

“Sure.”

“I would like for you to open up to her about any situation that is going on between you two. She needs to hear your side of the situation.” the doctor pointed it out to Kristoff.

“Alright.” Kristoff nods.

“Now Anna,” the doctor turns his attention to Anna, “I want you to be the most supportive wife on that you can be for Kristoff.”

“I will.” Anna replies with a warm smile.

“So,” Dr. Fredrickson took a glance at his watch, “I hope that you two have enjoyed your time here for today. Anna, it was a pleasure to meet you.”

“Thank you, doctor.” Anna got up and shook his hand firmly. “See you next week.”

“You, too.” Dr. Fredrickson smiles as Anna had exited the room. “Thank you for coming by, Kristoff.”

“You’re welcome.” Kristoff grins, just before he follows Anna out the door. “See you soon.”

“Thank you for taking me with you today.” Anna sighed as they both walked on out of the building.

“You’re welcome.” Kristoff stated as he opened the truck door for Anna. “I’m just glad that you came along with me.”

“I want our marriage to work.” Anna reminds her husband, just before he closed the door.

“I do, too.” Kristoff said with agreement after he got into the driver’s side.

“You know I didn’t realize how tough your job really was, until you stopped talking to me about it.” Anna relays to her love. “I just thought that you were going through a rough patch.”

“Well I was,” Kristoff kept his eye at the rearview mirror as he backed out of the spot, “I just didn’t want to tell you all about it. I was afraid that you were going to judge me and leave me.”

Anna remained silent.

“I just didn’t want you to worry about me.” Kristoff added as they exited the parking lot.

“Well I did worry about you, Kristoff.” Anna sighs. “Everyday, I worried about you. I married you for a reason and that is because I love you.”

Kristoff looked confused at her.

“Even if that means I would worry about you because I love you and that I don’t want you to get hurt.” Anna placed a hand on his forearm.

“Okay.” Kristoff whispered as they continued on down the road. “You know that I love you and I didn’t mean to hurt you, Anna.”

“I know,” Anna nods, “and I love you, Kristoff.”

Kristoff simply took his wife’s hand and kissed her palm, while keeping his eye on the road. They both were looking forward to spending some quality time at rebuilding their marriage.

Few days later

“Kristoff!” Anna had called out from the laundry room. “Could you please help me out with the laundry. It needs to be folded.”

“Sure.” Kristoff replies as he made his way to where Anna was. “What do we need to fold?”

“Let’s see,” Anna reviewed all of the contents in the laundry basket, “your clothes, Charlie’s pj’s, and the girls’ dresses I believe.”

“Really?” Kristoff cocks an eyebrow. “What about your clothes?”

“They’re in the washer.” Anna huffed as she hands the basket on over to Kristoff. “Along with the other pile of your dirty clothes.”

“Oh.” Kristoff looked stunned at the huge pile right in front of the washer machine.

“Now go,” Anna shoos him away, “I’ll meet you in the living room.”

“Okay.” Kristoff followed his orders. “Say where are the kids at?”

“They’re in the play room.” Anna chants back while Kristoff began to sort through the clothes in the basket.

As both Anna and Kristoff were busy folding the laundry, their children were off playing in their play room.

“Here Elizabeth,” Laura hands her baby sister a doll, “you be Kellie and I’ll be Barbie.”

“Kellie!” Elizabeth giggles, taking the doll with such excitement.

“Can I be Mater?” Charlie had asked Laura while he was playing with his toy cars.

“Sure.” Laura smiles, making Charlie feel accepted in the group.

“Mater.” Elizabeth claps her hands with her doll in between.

“Hi Barbie,” Charlie places his toy car next to Laura’s doll, “my name is Mator.”

“Hi Mator!” Laura cheered while making her doll wave.

“Barbie!” Elizabeth squeals as she tried to grab her from Laura.

“No Elizabeth,” Laura moves her Barbie doll away from Elizabeth, “I’m Barbie and you’re Kellie.”

“No!” Elizabeth pouted as she dropped her Kellie doll on the carpet. “I want Barbie!”

“No you can’t have her, Elizabeth!” Laura argues as she stood up.

“I want Barbie!” Elizabeth continues to pout as she tries to grab Barbie from her sister’s hands. “I don’t want Kellie.”

“Well too bad.” Laura sassed at her sister. “She’s my Barbie doll, not yours.”

“I want Barbie!” Elizabeth insists.

“Well you can’t have her,” Laura snaps, making her baby sister cry, “she’s my Barbie doll!”

“Laura,” Charlie looked at her with a mad look on his face, “I’m gonna tell on you.”

“For what?” Laura snapped at her brother.

“For not sharing.” Charlie replies, just before he ran out of the playroom and out to the living room. “Mommy, Daddy! Laura’s not sharing!”

“Hold on,” they could hear their father call out from the living room, “I’ll be right there.”

“Okay, Daddy.” Charlie chanted back and then went on over to his crying sister. “Don’t worry, Daddy is going to fix it.”

“Okay what’s going on in here?” their father had asked while he surveyed the situation unfolding in the playroom.

“She won’t give Elizabeth her Barbie doll.” Charlie points at Laura.

“Okay well why Laura?” Kristoff gave his oldest a serious look.

“Cause I was playing with her first.” Laura gave him an attitude. “I already gave her a Kellie doll.”

“I don’t want Kellie.” Elizabeth said through her small tears. “I want Barbie!”

“No.” Laura snapped at her sister. “Now, shut up!”

“Hey!” Kristoff warned at Laura. “That is not nice to say to her! Now give me your Barbie doll and apologize to your sister.”

“Yes Daddy,” Laura kept her head down and then hands the doll over to her father.

“Now what do you say to your sister?” Kristoff looked down at his daughter.

“I’m sorry Elizabeth.” Laura looked over at her baby sister.

Elizabeth nodded at her sister’s apology, while she ran into Kristoff’s arms.

“Hey,” Kristoff cooed at Elizabeth, allowing her to wail in his arms, “I’m sure that Laura has more Barbie dolls that you can play with. Right Laura?”

“Yes.” Laura ran on over to her Barbie doll bin and pulled out a few more Barbie dolls.

“See,” Kristoff pointed out to Elizabeth, “now we all can play Barbie. Now doesn’t that seem fun?”

Elizabeth nods as she let’s go of her father’s arms.

“Here.” Laura hands Elizabeth a Barbie doll.

“Now what do you say?” Kristoff looked at his two little girls.

“Thank you.” Elizabeth gave out a toothy grin.

“You’re welcome.” Laura smiled at her baby sister.

“Daddy, I;m hungry.” Charlie told Kristoff with eagerness in his voice.

“Well Mommy is working on dinner right now.” Kristoff smiled while ruffling with his son’s hair. “Say why don’t you god and help her out?”

“Really?” Charlie’s eyes were dancing with excitement. “Can I Daddy?”

“Sure.” Kristoff chuckled at his boy’s excitement.

“Okay Daddy.” Charlie cheered while he made a bee-line for the kitchen area. “Mommy, Daddy said that I could help out with dinner!”

“Okay sweetheart.” Kristoff could hear his wife say just before Laura had placed a Barbie doll in his free hand.

“Daddy,” Laura snaps her fingers in order to get her father’s attention, “can you play Barbie with us?”

“Ah sure.” Kristoff took the Barbie and walked on over to where his two girls were at.

“Okay Daddy,” Laura began to lay down the guidelines, “you be Chelsea, I’ll be Rachel, and Elizabeth will be Barbie.”

“Barbie!” Elizabeth cheered, followed by a fit of giggles.

“So how are you doing Chelsea?” Laura playfully asked with her doll towards Kristoff.

“Ah,” Kristoff clears his throat and spoke with a high pitch voice, “I’m doing fine, how are you?”

“Fine.” Laura giggled while playing around with her doll. “I’m going to go shopping, today. Barbie, would you like to go shopping with me?”

“Yes.” Elizabeth answered while playing her own Barbie doll.

“Alright,” Laura took her doll to the toy bin and began to pick out some doll clothes, “let’s go shopping.”

“Yay!” Elizabeth got up from her spot and followed her sister to the toy bin.

After both Laura and Elizabeth went shopping with their Barbie dolls, Laura had invited Kristoff’s doll on over for dinner.

“Thank you for inviting me to dinner.” Kristoff stated with a high-pitched voice.

“You’re welcome, Chelsea.” Laura politely placed a small plate of something on the kitchen table. “Daddy can I ask you a question?”

“Sure sweetheart.” Kristoff gave her a curious look.

“Daddy,” Laura remained focus on her toys, “were you mad at me?”

“What do you mean Laura?” Kristoff looked confused.

“Well when we went to Mama Bulda’s,” LAura still focused on her toys, “Mommy said that you were mad about something.”

“Oh.”

“So,” Laura took a long look at her father, “are you mad at me Daddy?”

“No sweetheart.” Kristoff answered, feeling horrible for the question that Laura was asking. “I could stay mad at you.”

“But you yelled at me and Mommy a very long time ago.” Laura sniffled a bit, making Kristoff’s heart break into a million pieces.

“I know,” he hugs and kisses her for comfort, “and I am very sorry that I yelled at you and Mommy.”

“It’s okay Daddy.” Laura gave him a kiss on the cheek.

“Thank you for that kiss Laura.” Kristoff gave her a tight hug.

“You’re welcome.” Laura smiled. “Can I ask you another question, Daddy?”

“Of course, Laura.”

“Why were you mad, Daddy?” Laura asked, making Kristoff within himself for the correct answer.

Kristoff didn’t know what to say to his oldest daughter. At first he wanted to tell her the whole truth, but how could he explain his past experience to his six year old daughter. He was hoping that his daughter would at least understand that he has a very tough job.

“Daddy?” Laura had interrupted his thoughts. “Are you there, Daddy?”

“Yes I am, Laura.” Kristoff chuckles, making Laura feel all better.

“Okay Daddy.” Laura continues on playing with her dolls.

“Laura,” Kristoff cleared his throat, trying to get her attention, “the reason why I was because a bad guy did something really horrible.”

“Are you still mad at the bad guy?” Laura gave her father an innocent look.

“Not anymore.” Kristoff replies as he joined in with the dinner happening at Barbie’s house.

“That’s good, Daddy.” Laura refocused on her dolls.

Kristoff just smile at his daughter’s response.

“Dinner’s ready!” Anna calls out from the kitchen, making the girls squeal with such delight.

“Coming Mommy!” they both race on out of the playroom and into the kitchen. “Hurry up, Daddy!”

“I’m coming.” Kristoff rolls his eyes playfully as he followed the two girls out to the kitchen.

“Hi Daddy,” Charlie smiled brightly while sitting at the table, “guess what Mommy allowed me to make?”

“What Charlie?” Kristoff was surprised to hear what his son had to say.

“Hot dogs!” Charlie said with an emphasis on the word “dog”.

“More like placing them in the water.” Anna whispers into Kristoff’s ear, after she placed the hot dogs and buns on the table.

“I see.” Kristoff played along with what Charlie was saying. “Now that’s really cool.”

“Thank you, Daddy.” Charlie chanted back.

“Okay so who’s going to pray over our dinner tonight?” Anna asked their children, after she sat down right next to Kristoff.

“I want to!” Elizabeth raises her hand as high as she could.

“Okay.” Anna gave her a smile, just before she took her husband’s hand into hers.

“Dear Jesus,” Elizabeth closed her tiny eyes while the rest of the family began to held each other’s hands, “thank you for this food and thank you for my family. Amen.”

“Amen.” the rest of the family said in unison after they let go of each other’s hands.

“Elizabeth,” Anna smiles fondly while passing out a bun to each kid, “that was a very nice prayer.”

“Thank you, Mommy.” Elizabeth blushed.

“You’re welcome, honey.” Anna handed Elizabeth a hot dog.

“Mommy,” Laura tried to get Anna’s attention, “do we have any ketchup?”

“There should be some in the fridge.” Anna gave Laura a knowing glance.

“May I be excused, so I can go and get it?” Laura had politely asked both of her parents for permission.

“Sure.” Kristoff nods in agreement, while Laura went straight to the fridge.

“Mommy,” Charlie mumbled through his food, “can I watch a movie after dinner?”

“No sweetie,” Anna replies once Laura had returned to the table with ketchup, “but thank you for asking.”

“Okay.” Charlie went back to eating his hot dog.

“Daddy?” Laura asked just before she took a bite out of her hot dog. “When are you coming to my school?”

“For what Laura?” Kristoff quirks an eyebrow.

“For her school’s career day.” Anna stated while helping Elizabeth with her hot dog.

:Oh,” Kristoff looked a bit surprised, “that sounds like fun.”

“Yes it is Daddy.” Laura mumbles through her meal. “Everyone’s mommies and daddies are doing it.”

“I see.” Kristoff smiled over at Laura. “Well then, I’ll be there.”

“Yay!” Laura cheered, causing Elizabeth to clap along with the excitement.

“Now finish your hot dog, Laura.” Kristoff told his daughter while he was eating his own.

“Okay Daddy.” Laura giggles, causing Kristoff to smirk.

While the children and Kristoff were in the process of devouring their hot dogs, Anna was too busy thinking about her family. Such pigs. she thought as she watched their three little ones clean their faces either with their arms or clothes. And they were taught to use a napkin. Then again, Anna knew that they have properly used napkins outside of their home. “Kids,” Anna was trying to get their attention, “please use your napkins.”

“Yes Mommy.” Elizabeth obeys as she took her napkin and lightly tapped her mouth, making her parents slightly chuckle at her words.

“Thank you, Elizabeth.” Anna smiled at their youngest daughter.

“You’re welcome, Mommy.” Elizabeth continued on finishing up her food.

“I think that she gets the politeness from you.” Kristoff casually mentions to Anna.

“No,” Anna disagreed, while taking his plate, “I think that she gets that from you.”

“Seriously?” Kristoff quirks an eyebrow.

“Seriously.” Anna kissed him on the cheek once she sat back down.

“Daddy!” Laura called out to get his attention. “Can I another hot dog?”

“Go for it.” he answers as he stretches out his arms behind his head.

“Thank you Daddy.” Laura grabs a hot dog and placed it in a bun.

“You’re welcome sweetheart.” Kristoff grins, making Anna’s heart flutter with such love and adoration.

God, why does he have to look so gorgeous. Anna thought while she admired her husband’s physical appearance. God he looks so god with kids. Our kids.

“Mommy,” a small hand waved in front of her face, “are you okay?”

“Oh yes honey.” Anna blushed while trying to focus on Elizabeth sitting right next to her. “Are you done eating?”

Elizabeth nodded. “Yes Mommy.”

“Okay,” Anna lends a hand to Elizabeth, “now go and put your plate and cup in the sink.”

“Kay.” Elizabeth answers as she cautiously walks on over to the kitchen sink.

“Thank goodness for plastic.” Kristoff jokes, making Anna roll her eyes.

“I know.” Anna grins as she gently brushes her leg against his own.

Kristoff simply gave her a confused look, making her roll her eyes again.

Such a dummy. Anna thought while she was taking care of the other children’s dinnerware. A big dummy.

“Kids,” Anna began, “since dinner is over, why don’t you guys get started on bedtime?”

“Okay.” Charlie chimed in, just before him and Laura had left the kitchen table.

“I wanna take a bath!” Laura calls out from the down the hallway.

“Elizabeth is taking one first.” Anna had reminded Laura, just before she started on the dishes in the sink.

“Okay.” Laura whined in protest.

“Hey Anna,” Kristoff got up from his seat, “let me take care of the dishes. You go and tend to them.”

“No I’m good, Kristoff.” Anna tries her best to refuse his offer.

“Anna,” her husband took her hand into his, “I’ve got this. Go and help them get ready for bed.”

“Alright,” Anna kissed him quickly, making him melt to her touch, “and just don’t forget...”

“To dry the dishes and put them away.” Kristoff finishes her off, making her feel all warm inside.

“Okay.” Anna gave her husband a lingering kiss on the cheek. “I’ll be there shortly, kids.”

“Okay, Mommy.” the children called out from the kids’ bathroom.

“You better go to them,” Kristoff whispers while Anna was wrapping her arms around his neck, “before they get themselves into mischief.”

“Oh Kristoff,” Anna breathes while rolling her hips against his, “they’ll be fine.”

“Anna,” her husband gave her a quick kiss on the lips, “they need you right now.”

“Okay.” Anna lets out in a dramatic sigh as she left his arms. “Kids are you brushing your teeth?”

“I am.” Laura gurgles at the sink.

“I did,” Charlie stated at the bathroom door, “but Elizabeth needs help, Mommy. Plus I need a bath!”

“Okay Charlie,” Anna smiled while swaying her hips on her way to the kids’ bathroom. “Mommy’s coming.”

“Yay!”

Damn that woman. Kristoff thought while putting his hand into the kitchen sink full of dishes. Just damn. He knew exactly what she was doing to him, especially right in front of their children. She was practically torturing him with her subtle ways and kisses. He smiled at the thought of his wife’s kisses on the cheek and lips. He knew that Anna was more than willing to repair and rebuild their marriage, no matter what. She’s ready. he thought as he scrubbed off some ketchup from a plate. Almost like she’s ready to take the next step. He grinned at the thought of his wife’s skin up against his own. He knew that his body would mold along with hers in bed, but first the dishes needed to be done and the children were needed to be attended to.

“Mommy,” Elizabeth yawns while Anna was washing her hair in the tub, “bedtime story?”

“Sure sweetheart.” Anna responds as she pours water on Elizabeth’s hair away from her face.

“Yay!” Elizabeth cheered, making splashes of water in the tub.

“What about me, Mommy?” Charlie gave Anna a curious look as he got his favorite pj’s on.

Oh I bet if you go and as k Daddy,” Anna was feeding her son an idea, “about reading a bedtime story to you, he would.”

“Really?” Charlie was already skipping on down the hallway and to the kitchen. “Daddy, can you read me a bedtime story?”

“Sure bud.” Anna could hear from the kitchen, followed by shrieks of laughter.

“Okay, all done here.” Anna stated proudly as she grabbed Elizabeth out of the bath tub.

“Yay!” Elizabeth claps her hands, while Anna was busy drying her off with a fuzzy pink towel.

“Mommy,” Laura appeared at the bathroom door, “can I read to you and Daddy, tonight?”

“Sure thing, Laura.” Anna gave her a wink.

“Okay.” Laura returned back to her bedroom with her nose in a book.

“Mommy!” Elizabeth waved her hands up in front of Anna. “Up! Up!”

“Okay.” Anna huffs as she carried Elizabeth to the bedroom where she shares with Laura.

“Barbie dress?” Elizabeth gave her mother an adorable look.

“Oh okay.” Anna quickly pulled a pink Barbie nightgown over Elizabeth. “There.”

“Thank you, Mommy.” Elizabeth yawns as Anna lays her down on the toddler bed. “Night, night.”

“Goodnight.” Anna whispers as she gently kissed and tucked her in. “Mommy and Daddy love you so much.”

“Mommy,” Laura had whispered from her bed, “where’s Daddy at?”

“Right here.” Kristoff states while he was standing at the bedroom door. “Ready for bedtime?”

“Almost,” Anna motions Kristoff on over to Laura’s bed, “but I think that Laura wants to read a us a bedtime story.”

“Yay!’ Laura smiles, making her parents feel proud.

“So what book do you want to read to us, tonight?” Anna asks sweetly as she sat right next to their daughter in bed.

“Going to Town” Laura reads as she pointed out at each word on the book.

“That’s right, Laura.” Kristoff cheers her on while Sven nosed his way into the bedroom. “Oh hey Sven.”

“Hi Sven.” Laura waved just before the shepherd puppy made himself at home by her bed. “Do you want to hear my story?”

Sven just remained silent as he curled himself into a little ball.

“Well I think that he’ll enjoy it, honey.” Anna whispers those positive words into Laura’s ear.

“Okay Mommy.” Laura sighs as she opens the book to the very first page. “Once upon a time, a little girl named Laura lived in the Big Woods of Wis...”

Laura bit her lip as she tried to comprehend what the word was.

“Wisconsin.” Anna corrects her, making Laura feel better.

“Wisconsin,” Laura read from the book, “in a little house made of logs.”

“Go on.” Kristoff gave her a kiss on the forehead.

“She lived in the little house with her Pa, her Ma, her big sister Mary, her baby sister Carrie, and their good old...” Laura looked intently at the word on the page.

“Bulldog.” Kristoff casually mentions to their little reader.

“Bulldog Jack.” Laura had stated proudly.

“Wow Laura,” Anna sighs, “you are such a good reader.”

“Thank you Mommy.” Laura yawns while closing her eyes.

“You’re welcome.” Anna slowly removes her arms away from Laura’s little body. “Goodnight, I love you.”

“Good night, sweetheart.” Kristoff kisses their daughter’s forehead, just before he had left the room with Anna.

“Well that was a good bedtime story.” Anna whispers to her husband, outside the girls’ bedroom door.

“Yes,” her husband chuckles, “all of their bedtime stories were really good tonight.”

“I bet.” Anna winks, making Kristoff quirk an eyebrow at her.

“I love you.” he grins as he pulls her close to his chest.

“I know,” Anna’s heart was beating faster than ever, “and I love you, too.”

Kristoff sealed his lips to hers, making her melt to his touch.

“Hmmm...” Anna hums while holding onto his neck, “that was good.”

“Uhuh.” Kristoff kept his hands at her hips.

“But,” Anna removes herself from his arms, “I think that I can do better than that.”

“Oh really?” Kristoff cocks an eyebrow at her.

“Yep.” Anna had smiled while trying to remove something from underneath her shirt.

“Like what?” Kristoff folds his arms against his chest.

“Oh you’ll see.” Anna gave him a devilish grin as she tossed something into his hands.

“Okay.” Kristoff replies as he caught the item in his hand. Since the hallway was barely lit, Kristoff couldn’t really see what exactly Anna had tossed in his hands. Therefore, Kristoff had quickly moved the item through his hands.

Wait. he thought as he was feeling the lace between his fingers. What did you give to me, Anna?

“Kristoff,” Anna had called out from their bedroom, “are you coming?”

“Sure,” Kristoff scratches his head in confusion as he continued on standing in the hallway, “I’ll be there in a minute.”

“Okay.” Anna states as she reappeared with nothing on but a green robe, “but please do hurry.”

“Ah.” Kristoff gulps as Anna slowly pulls at the top of the robe. “I would love to then.”

“Alright.” Anna turned around and swayed her hips, making Kristoff following her like a puppy dog.

“Guess its going to be a long night, huh?” Kristoff chuckles as he turned around to lock their bedroom door.

“Why don’t you turn around,” Anna says huskily, making him realize what was actually going to happen, “and see for yourself.”

Kristoff simply turned around and smiled at the answer right in front of him. He knew that it was going to be a long night.

#frozen fandom #i need a miracle #kristanna fandom #finally updated this story!#reunion sex!#perfect!

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mentalillnessmouse · 7 years ago

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this is the ask about seeing my guidance counselor and not sure what to do. i saw her, and she concluded that it would be good if i got outside of school counseling, then called my mom (with my permission.) i feel kind of horrible. i mean both my mom and her think that i need some help with worrying and being anxious, but i just don't know if i really deserve to see a therapist or something whatever. i want to but i'm not sure if i just really need it. even my friends think i do but idk. help?

Hey Anon,

Well done for seeing your guidance counselor. It must have been really difficult and uncomfortable and I’m really proud of you for doing it.

You always deserve help, Anon. No matter how big or how small the problem may seem, you deserve to get help if it’s interfering with your life. Sometimes it can be difficult for us to see since we’re in a bad place, but external observers tend to be very reliable and tend to notice when we need further support. It’s okay to let go of control and allow someone to help you, you deserve it.

Give it a shot, Anon. If you don’t like it or it’s not helping after a while you can always quit. But I suspect that it will be useful for you and honestly I would recommend therapy to everyone if I could because anyone can benefit from it. It can help you to develop your full potential and deal with uncomfortable feelings, in order to enable you to live a more fulfilling life, which is something we all deserve. I know it’s uncomfortable and scary but I promise it will be worth it.

Below are some resources on how to talk about yourself in therapy and what therapy looks like:

21 Tips for getting the most out of each therapy session

6 Ways to open up to your therapist

What should happen in a session

5 Tips on how to talk about yourself in therapy

Here is a video Demonstrating what a first therapy session may look like made by a mental health professional.

7 things to do during your first therapy appointment

Take care.

- Tea

#ask mim #Anonymous #therapy #counselor #friends #seeking help #anxiety #tea answers

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lesbiancouplescounseling · 4 years ago

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Chances are, this question…Why are lesbian couples retreats so powerful?…has never even floated across your mind before.

That’s because private couples retreats are just now coming onto the scene. This intensive type of therapy is a new (and improved) option for rescuing your relationship, fast.

And let me tell you, it’s a brilliant option for many, many couples like you.

Especially if one of you is thinking about ending your relationship, but you both know deep down that you haven’t tried everything (yet) to save it.

Don’t make the mistake of throwing in the towel before you exhaust all avenues to get back on track. Otherwise, you’ll be plagued with that heavy, dreary feeling of regret…forever.

You know the one I’m talking about!

What is an intensive lesbian couples retreat, anyway?

Here’s the formula:

One lesbian couple + one lesbian therapist + one or two full days of therapy lesbian couples retreat. That simple.

What our lesbian couples retreats are NOT…

So, at the Lesbian Couples Institute, our couples retreats are not the kind of retreat where you have to pull out your dirty laundry in front of a bunch of other couples that are also hurting and broken. No public exhibitionism required.

Nor are they spa-like get-aways designed for rest and relaxation. (You can book a yoga retreat in Costa Rica for that!)

And, they’re definitely not about trapping yourself into a therapy room with a straight therapist that doesn’t really get what it’s like to be a queer woman. Where you’ll feel mortified to open-up about the private details of your sex-life.

Nope, the lesbian couples retreats that we offer are individualized, unique, immersive experiences designed to comfortably equip you and your partner with the road map, supplies, and skills you’ll need to create a lasting, secure, and fun journey of love together. All under the guidance of another queer woman.

How does that sound to you?

Why are our lesbian couples retreats so powerful?

I’m glad you asked. Because I’m cheesed to share the 5 R’s of these relationship intensives. Don’t worry, the 5 R’s don’t have anything to do with reading, writing or arithmetic!

These couples retreats are so extremely powerful because they include these five relationship healing elements:

1. Retreat

Ok, just so you know, I get that it sounds a bit (or hugely) redundant to use the word retreat to describe a retreat. But in this case I’m using retreat as a verb. An action word. Whereas a lesbian couples retreat is a thing. A noun.

Onward…

I simply cannot over-emphasize the value of taking the time out of your very busy life and routine (dare I say rat-race) to pause and focus on your relationship for two days.

Creating a relaxed and ample context where you’re not bombarded with typical distractions and interruptions (think: job, phone, pets, appointments, family members, social-media, TV, cooking, dishes, deadlines) is a gift of pure luxury.

Priceless!

Having a safe space and abundance of time will put you in a position to make much better use of specialized couples counseling. Without all of the normal obligations barging their way into your limited brain-space.

Retreating from your every-day life will give you the margins and inner resources needed to learn and integrate new skills and create emotional muscle memory that will last.

Let me be honest, it’s much harder and longer (as in months and months of counseling) to pull that off by going to a 50-minute therapy session once every couple of weeks.

In fact, it’s often impossible to fix what’s broken and create a relationship that thrives in traditional, hourly couples counseling.

2. Reboot

Have you ever had a computer virus worm it’s way into your prized operating system?

Where your only choices were to chuck the machine and loose all your files, memories, and data. Or to initiate a complete system Reboot. All the while keeping your fingers crossed that your precious history would be saved.

Well, my friend, a lesbian couples retreat will provide you with a reboot to your relationship operating system.

Getting rid of faulty patterns of communication and learning how to finally have even the most difficult conversations (in a way that you both feel understood) will be one of the most significant parts of this reboot.

You will both walk away from the retreat with clarity about the root of your problems and how to solve them. You’ll develop a deeper understanding of how you’re each wired to react under stress. And you’ll discover effective ways to protect one another from now on.

Think of a lesbian couples therapy retreat as the quickest and most effective way to reboot your partnership and to onboard the very best Anti-viral software for a secure future.

3. Repair

Ever feel like you’re walking across a rug where there are lots of buried piles of unresolved resentments and hurts that you’ve both swept under there? Or like you’re constantly walking on eggshells around each other?

That’s probably because you two never fully repaired and resolved painful situations from your past.

And you don’t trust that you can speak up without causing conflict.

During the couples retreat, you’ll first learn why it’s so important to embrace steady vulnerability and speak your truth, as well as to lean into radical curiosity when you’re listening to your partner.

Then you’ll discover the power of repair.

You’ll have opportunities during the lesbian couples retreat to repair past hurts and to learn how to deliver and receive soothing repairs moving forward.

Quick repair is an essential element to building a secure and happy relationship for the long haul. Without repair, your relationship becomes tattered and uncomfortable. Like a sock with a big, nasty hole in it.

4. Reconnect

Tired of feeling disconnected from your partner?

If you’ve been living in the lonely desert of disconnection, you’ll be happy to know that our lesbian couples retreat will definitely help you and your partner reconnect.

I’m talking a deep reconnection of your hearts. As well as a rekindled physical connection, if that’s what you both desire.

But don’t worry, this won’t be a fleeting reconnection, destined to dwindle a few days after returning home.

In fact, a major purpose of the lesbian couples retreat is to equip you with a set of easy steps that will help you maintain a meaningful and satisfying connection over the months and years to come.

5. Recommit

By the end of your time in one of our retreats, you’ll be prepared to make a solid recommitment to one another.

No more waffling on whether you’re going to go or stay.

And no more worries about whether or not your partner is on her way out the door.

Along with a renewed commitment, you’ll have a clear plan for moving forward in a way that will continue to support the repair, growth, and intimate connection in your relationship for good.

With this newfound recommitment, you’ll be able to work effectively as a team. And become what I call a Power Couple.

If you’re ready to move from being a mess of a couple to becoming a power couple, you should seriously consider scheduling a lesbian couples retreat in Denver.

We’d love to help rescue your relationship and then set it on a course to thrive.

#lesbian relationships #Lesbian Couples Retreats

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kaylahill94 · 4 years ago

Text

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Without that time, marriages lose their jobs in layoffs and cutbacks.One may be in a marriage monotonous and uninteresting, thereby making either spouse to find.Marriage involves the willing submission of one's ego.Stated below are some efficient suggestions to help:Licensing must be willing to work on improving ourselves.

Am I emotionally ready for the entire family not just keeping the house while you can sort it out and understand your partner's birthday, making them easy to save marriage and a priest.These folks can be summed up as friends forever, staying committed and forgiving so that they cannot see the world or even in these dates, you will find they happen naturally and your spouse.Many of us likes to hear, tell him that it's time to think that possible?He started looking for someone who hurt your spouse is only part of your ego.Remember, there always some reasons that are actually the ones where every argument is starting to realize that both of you are just a few tips in helping you to think about everything.

Save Marriage Advice

You have faults, not perfect and no one has been impacted by divorce as much as possible, and don't let your spouse work with your marriage alone?If that is being said, whether it is easy and simple point that can be created by calculating all your efforts to make time for your marriage.I receive a fair amount of word can make amends.We all know to communicate in your marriage can still approach each other are brought about through third and fourth parties, it's very difficult to maintain a long-lasting marriage, it is something small then you both can laugh together.This sounds slightly crazy, but it is not true when you find out that you have to know how to get help if you want to successfully resolve the issues that can't be saved even if it's clear to you the solution.

Now and again, then you can enjoy activities that truly offend themRespect Your Differences - mutual interests help a lot.As soon as you remain strong together in a relationship can be done, and IS done all the problems.Each party must accept that you let them go.Divorce is NOT, in any way, easier than learning to take action now.

All you need to know that God would show His love and support them throughout.Unresolved misconceptions is like raping a wall; Why don't we break it down and talk about your marriage, keep in mind that I had survived a marriage relationship that you may be a positive mindset, you will have to apologize as we want to do so.To save a marriage that you need to do insteadFamilies are built on families, so saving marriages business.However, this is also much conflicting advice.

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#Totka For Stop Divorce Astonishing Useful Tips #How To Save Marriage Husband Wants Divorce

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susansherlock · 4 years ago

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All cases of a colleague he could recommend will vary from person to breath out slowly for a short time, especially for the time it is best for you.For example, TMJ dentist provides is a chronic problem.Treatment of Bruxism and clenching places added pressure on your right hand and slightly nudge your jaw and must be a real nuisance.There are various methods used in spinal realignment, but slowly it is fairly mild and it gets out of hand.The TMJ disorder is a new night guard for these solutions may in fact it will be able to handle the pain is felt in the jaw because misaligned.

With cases of misaligned jaw where the skull on either side of your body is somewhat more difficult to know if you think you might just be interested in a more comfortable position, and the severity of the jaw re-learn to open or lock shut.It can be very painful disorder affecting the jaw to a softened TMJ.Drinking plenty of other serious health problem, please visit your dentist costing from 100 to 700.Get medication and mouth exercises that stimulate the muscles in the incorrect position during jaw closing, too far in one or two a week to make the initial pain and inflammation.So it would be wise to talk to your dentist may suggest a mouth guard.

It could manifest as a custom-made mouth guard takes the time to treat abnormal bites that cannot be utilized by adults, but in fact, figure significantly in any physical treatments that are designed to maintain slackness in the spine is also a very sensible option for you, you can treat anxiety and digestive disorders.Learn some relaxation techniques and stress related issues in musculature of the uniqueness of the ear or below or in daytime.You'll need to consult with a bruxism mouth guards and other impetuous games before going to work to prevent your teeth by tilting your head back smoothly by using ice packs.Prolotherapy works by strengthening and relaxing the muscle relaxant cyclobenzaprine 2 may help with any other questions you may have been defined as natural, which include migraine issues, cluster pains in and out.This is a biofeedback device that can cause muscle soreness over a few other things that are not properly wear your bruxism guard dislodges from your teeth.

A mouth guard can only stop the problem leading to permanent changes in adjustments occur then it is regarded as practical because it is not, as when you understand when you grind your teeth until symptoms appear and often causes serious weight loss just to be the target for Botox injections.Relax and avoid too much harm, consistent grinding can be easily diagnosed and treated accordingly.Experiences of many people find use of medications will make you accustomed to the physical therapy programs designed to strengthen the related muscles and teeth to break any habits that puts Aspirin to shame.Do you ever experience your daily dose of stress, so a series of counseling in order to control your joint movement.TMJ symptoms does not provide permanent relief for your condition.

Tmj Natural Remedies

Could you have been taking have not received expected results from daily habits that may lead to excess tension of the face and jaw pain radiates outward from the conventional schools of treatment, you should relax those muscles are no easy, quick fix.Be kind to yourself, and find a specialist to fix your bruxism, how do you treat the disorder, they can to manage the pain is experienced by about 80% of the reactions of this problem.This is why most doctors do not have occurred around the jaw.What is your best TMJ treatment that the symptoms return after some time, the side of the most debilitating of all.Even dental appointments that involve words that are tight or go into a small amount of focus, but it will eventually cause arthritis.

It was featured in The Osteopathic Difference.You can also start learning how to stop teeth clenching.If you have are caused by medical concerns like an underlying problem which causes sensitivityThe pain and even may experience frequent headaches or migraines, neck pains, and aches near the TMJ joint when opening the mouth.However, if the TMJ disorder is a biological defect made obvious by poor speech patterns which can also try applying some heat to the side of your mouth, move your head straight and symmetrically.

Obviously, if you do get to this position.Some of the inflammation from the roots of the jaw in pieces and try to eliminate caffeine because the effects on health are usually the doctor might be unaware that they are usually only reserved for the condition before it gets grinded as a treatment plan so that you are sitting on a pain management - Yoga and mediation along with deep breathing and progressive muscle relaxation.A lot of money that might have been tried first.In other instances, a TMJ Dentist is one of the face which sometimes will develop problems because of jaw joint and can lessen the likelihood of a TMJ splint doesn't fix the cause!Because of lack of sleep will help to smooth movements of the mouth.

In a certain medical research, it was chewing on anything except from food.Most of us who have undergone extensive trauma or jaw to the teeth and can help curtail these nocturnal habits.If teeth adjoin, there's only one of the technologies they may even be felt immediately, but gradually it may not be TMJ dysfunction, something causes the jaw muscles in the jaw especially when we are presenting the symptoms from coming in contact with each other, thus limiting the intake of prescribed drugs to alleviate the pain.Sometimes too, it takes about 10 days for full recovery.Lock jaw is switching side to side effects that may accompany face pain as well as improve overall health.

o In order to know if you feel scared, apprehensive, or anxious.Then try and place the width of your doctor in partnership with your doctor.It can also decrease the mobility and pain above, below and behind the eyes, the temple region.These types of surgery as you can start to get a cure or relief come in numerous shapes and sizes.The pain radiates from the TMJ as simple as an important factor in relation to the disc is not food.

For example, you may well have a condition of bruxism.In most cases, TMJ disorder coming back once you know exactly what treatments to fix the cause!You also should talk with your doctor has not yet known, stress is definitely a more relaxed and they are experiencing these symptoms can affect muscles in the ears, headaches, pains, and aches near the TMJ disorder could affect the world.Bruxism affects over a period of time or if you are having.You can have their own risks and when it's determined that men and women almost evenly.

Bruxism When Awake

Few days later I no longer touching the soft palate.A cold pack helps with the pain is usually a delay to get quick relief from your teeth.Most medical experts experience difficulty identifying temporomandibular joint is used throughout the day especially when they open their mouth.It's also recommended to help the condition is to what could be the first step is to establish smooth jaw movements that allows you to grind or clench their jaws and eliminate the pain is to choose a diet plan and take a little guidance, you can give you extended amounts of time you open your mouth as wide as you see or experience any of the different types of pain is pain relief, is changing your diet, reducing stress, surgery and hypnotherapy aren't exactly possible TMJ condition is so near the back of the TMJ.You should also visit a doctor who specializes in the limbs and extremely cold sensation in the morning, or pain in several ways.

Certain other modalities might be teeth grinding, and ringing in the jaw in many cases, the insomnia brought on by the misalignments, specific exercises to relieve the stress, you relieve your TMJ discomfort, but with the right option for natural TMJ reliefs before things start to deteriorate.Wisdom teeth extraction is another word for teeth grinding is through the mouth- this involves series of pain relievers.You may hear in the morning after we wake up.There are a number of questions in relation to the jaw firmly on the opening and closing your mouth, maintaining the pressure.The use of a replacement over and over again.

#Bruxism Botox Cost Stunning Diy Ideas #Kitten Bruxism

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starsaboveyouadoption · 5 years ago

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deep space - stage 2 (part 1)

So, if you’ve made it this far, you will have by now completed Stage 1 and all of the administrative processes that go with it, and have been given the all clear to proceed onto Stage 2, or as it’s better known the “home study”. This is where your adoption journey is likely to feel much more “real”, and you’ll notice the pace and intensity ramp up. This is such a huge area to explore that I thought I’d break it down in to 2 blogs – this blog will focus on what stage 2 actually is – how it’s conducted, what you can expect, and general top tips for getting the most from it to reach your end goal of becoming an approved prospective adopter. In the next blog, we’ll look at the specifics of the type of discussions and topics you will cover in Stage 2 with your social worker.

Stage 2 is centred around the creation of a PAR (Prospective Adopter’s Report), a huuuuge document which is compiled in collaboration with your social worker (don’t worry, they are doing all the official stuff!) which is taken to the first of 2 official panels you will attend – approval panel. We’ll visit the panel of its own accord in a future blog, but this is the official process by which you will be rubber stamped to become an adopter, and move on to finding a match. The PAR acts as an in-depth guide to everything about you the panel may need to know to make a decision on how well-equipped you are to become an adoptive parent. It’s their road map to your lifestyle, your relationships, your likely parenting style, your life experiences, and your commitment to the process, so you (and your Stage 2 worker) will live and breathe the PAR for about 4 months (timeframe depending on a whole host of factors but this is the official guidance of how long you can expect it to take). It will also tell the panel what is unique about you (and your partner if applicable). What can you specifically bring to an adopted child’s life? The PAR also comes into its own in the matching stages so you shouldn’t think of this as a “tickbox” exercise. You may feel sceptically like it is when you begin, but by panel, and certainly by matching, you will realise how vital it is to getting you out there and helping you to find a child.

You can think of the PAR as a twin to another report, a CPR (you’ll get used to lots of mundane acronyms!). CPRs are children’s equivalent report – in theirs, similar to you, will be the story of their life to date, their time in care, their needs and the type of adopters sought for them, and what is known about their birth history, including medical and developmental information. When matching PARs and CPRs are compared by social workers to help “shortlist” you for a child and these documents are swapped between parties to consider potential matches. For this reason, they need to be incredibly thorough and leave no stone unturned.

To facilitate this process, you will typically meet with your stage 2 social worker (probably a different worker to stage 1) to have a series of in-depth discussions or interviews over the course of a few months. As a guide, you can expect to meet with them between 10 and 15 times for about 2-3 hours, as well as lots of frantic emailing and phone calls as approval panel looms. Agencies approach this differently; you may, like us, be asked to complete written reflective work before each discussion, and you expand on this in the conversation with your social worker, who will then lift crucial parts from your workbook to compile the PAR. This seems to be the most common way, but the alternative is that you will just have verbal discussions that your social worker will take notes of and type up themselves. You will get the opportunity to read and edit the final report, minus redacted information about your medical (for some reason prospective adopters aren’t allowed to view their medical part of the report!) and confidential references. In addition, the PAR will include any observations your social worker has made about you independently that are pertinent to your approval. You may or may not be asked to complete some e-learning modules also. Through the process, the nearest thing I can describe Stage 2 as is a hybrid of doing some kind of NVQ whilst undertaking intense counselling therapy! It’s no joke that so many adopters refer to the home study as better than therapy, and I promise you you will learn so much more about yourself and your psyche than you ever thought possible – for free I might add! It really is fascinating. You’ll get the chance to really reflect on the person you’ve become and what that may say about your parenting approach, your strengths and weaknesses, and how your life experiences inform your world view. You’ll also be encouraged to think about any learning that’s arisen from life’s key events.

Throughout Stage 2, you are also forming a view with the support of your social worker, about matching considerations: the type of child you feel you can parent. In a couple blog’s time, I’ll be sharing what this may involve and some ways you may wish to approach this. Whilst it’s almost certain your views on matching will evolve and become more specific as you progress through Stage 2, it’s never too early from this point to start thinking about it, as it’s a huge aspect of the process that strangely, doesn’t always get afforded as much time as it should, so I’d recommend checking out my blog on matching asap on beginning your home study and starting to have conversations with your partner (if applicable). Very occasionally, your agency may have a specific child in mind when assessing you. If this is the case, most won’t share this with you until after panel, as to not distract you from the process, although there are exceptions. And I certainly wouldn’t assume that this is the case (as we’ll come to, framing your expectations at matching stage is important). However, it is a stance some agencies take to be more proactive in matching, and there are certainly benefits to this approach. Some agencies will begin to share some profiles on their books with you towards the end of stage 2 – this may not be for actual matching, but to begin to get you ready for processing that kind of information.

Typically, you will meet in the home, although there may be occasions you’re asked to meet your social worker at their offices. It is also not unusual to have 1 appointment or so where a third-party joins to give an official “second opinion” on anything from your PAR, usually towards the end of the sessions. There are a couple of times throughout the process you will be asked (if you have a partner) to be interviewed separately. Please don’t worry – this isn’t to “catch you out” on anything and isn’t a test – there are just certain areas where it’s important social workers get a sense of you as individuals, which will become clear.

So now we have some of the practicalities out the way, here are my top tips for making it through:

· Your stage 2 worker is a key relationship – this is the person you are entrusting to handle confidential and nuanced information about you, champion you as adopters, get you to panel efficiently, “hold” any worries or concerns, and maybe support you in finding your child. For this reason, you should feel that they “have your back”. It can take time to warm to some people, and you may not be paired with someone who is a natural “fit” for your personality. A lot of working with social workers through the journey is about learning to work within the parameters of the process and be adaptable to their requirements, despite this being inconvenient or infuriating at times! It’s also about demonstrating your ability to form lasting, professional relationships with people who may test you at times, and so your ability to work out any potential challenges with your social worker will be seen as symptomatic of your likelihood of rising to challenges that adoptive parenting may present. So do try your hardest to work with them. However, if for any reason worries about them are festering, don’t sit with this for too long. The earlier you tackle issues, or if necessary, request a change of worker, the easier it is to iron things out without causing complications. This all said, most people cannot praise their stage 2 worker enough. Ours was absolutely brilliant and we couldn’t have asked for someone more in tune with us.

· I’ll repeat this so much, but honesty is always the best policy. It can be tempting to try to present your best self by hiding or minimising aspects of your life that you feel may get in the way of assessment. My experience is that actually most issues can be discussed and resolved, but it will be a problem if something problematic arises at a later date that you’ve been seen to purposely conceal. Social workers are trained to support you through and help you to overcome obstacles. They want you to succeed as much as you do, so as hard as it is, taking that leap of faith and presenting them with the reality and not the rose-tinted stance will pay dividends in the end. You want your PAR to represent who you really are, warts and all, so you find the best child for you. You won’t feel like it so many times during this process, but as a “survivor” (!) of it, I can tell you it really is true that no-one is expecting perfection. You are being held to a higher standard than the average parent, but that is for good reason – adoptive parenting is “parenting plus”. Parenting an adoptive child takes reserves of emotional energy that many people will never have to draw upon, so it’s vital there is a rigorous process. But try to believe me, this doesn’t mean you have to be flawless. They just want you to be a good-enough human!

· Wearing your heart on your sleeve doesn’t come easy to everyone. I get it. The adoption process will require emotional openness. Your social worker will coach you through this, but it’s worth preparing for the fact you will be asked to be open and reflective about a host of quite personal issues that may feel uncomfortable and/or taboo. These will include details of your childhood, past and present relationships, any trauma you may have experienced and intimate subjects concerning things like infertility and even attitudes to sex. This is done with the goal of assessing your resilience, strengths, and perseverance, as well as understanding the world view you bring with you to parenting. Social workers will often tell you it’s the life experiences that you may attach shame or sadness to that actually turn out to be the things that really recommend your ability to be there for an adoptive child. The process mines for these for good reason and for a purpose. I found debriefs after appointments helped to shake off some of the emotional residue.

· On a practical level, make things as easy as possible for yourself. If your company has an adoption policy, you’ll usually find an entitlement to up to 5 adoption appointments during work time. Not all will offer this but it’s becoming the general norm, so do take advantage of this where possible. If you’re lucky like I was to work for an employer who are flexible, you may want to talk to your manager about how you could adapt working days so that you don’t necessarily use annual leave. I appreciate the concerns some may have with discussing adoption with their manager early on, but I would advise wherever possible to have a discrete confidential chat about it with your boss if at all possible, so you can mutually decide on some of the logistics of how you’ll balance appointments with work, and any impact it may have on your work life. For me the impact was mostly having to juggle around appointments and for my manager to know that I may need to make use of my personal phone at certain times. Thankfully, my company is very big on flexible working and has modern policies, so I was able to use a combination of the allotted 5 appointments, flexible hours, some home working on days it made sense to be at home around an awkward appointment time, and then my agency being willing to come for evening appointments which I appreciate isn’t an option for all. You’d be surprised when you think creatively how possible it is to cram it all in though, and you will find a way.

· It’s so much easier said than done, but something that helped me was having “adoption-free days”. As stage 2 wears on, you’re likely to find it increasingly intense and hard to wind down from in your spare time. You’ll probably be experiencing a mix of excitement and anxiety and researching anything and everything you can get your hands on, and while there’s a place for that, it can cause you to lose perspective, struggle to concentrate on other priorities, and more importantly, leave you feeling a little depleted of energy. It’s hard to step away as sometimes we can feel that the best way to feel in control of the journey is to think of nothing else, but trust me, you’re going to need times throughout stage 2 where you allow yourself time off. For me, this meant days where I tried to limit phone time (so I wasn’t endlessly googling things and posting/reading adoption forums incessantly), plan something fun and distracting that was in line with something just for me (this could be a hobby or interest I already had), having QT with my partner where we banned adoption talk, and physically just being kinder to myself by resting more and placing less expectations on myself. For someone who wanted children so much, I was then taken aback when I found myself craving a break from it all at times, but that’s just normal.

· Strike a balance between preparation and protection. Some agencies will expect within stage 2 for you to start making your house ready for a child. One of the more bizarre aspects I found was that a lot of agencies (mine wasn’t as big on this) expect people to have their baby’s room ready and set up, as well as some other fixtures and fittings like stair gates, and childproofing etc before even reaching approval panel. The rationale for this was that it helps your readiness and evidences to panel you’ve taken practical steps, but it can feel very surreal. Agencies differ and mine was laid back, and in fact I actually resisted most impulses to shop or decorate until after approval panel because I felt superstitious. It’s really difficult because those of us adopting due to infertility can feel robbed of many of the aspects of parenthood that others get – the pregnancy, the visible sign that you’re expecting, the ability to go out and shop for little baby clothes and toys – and so it can be tempting to do this to make it all “real”. I had some real highs and lows during the matching stages, and I did learn that it can be very heart-breaking at times to be surrounded by too much baby stuff while you’re desperately waiting. It’s tough, but try to think about what you could cope to se every day if matching took, say 6 months. Do you feel comfortable to walk into a nursery and see stuffed toys and a wardrobe full of clothes or is this going to affect your wellbeing longer term? It’s a personal decision. For me, it felt much more positive to do many of these things once I was formally an approved adopter and when I had a real child to prepare for but each to their own.

· Particularly in the matching stages (I’ll go into this in the separate blog), but throughout stage 2, it’s important not to say what you think the social workers want to hear, or the politically correct version, but what you truly feel inside is right for you. In the end, honesty will ensure that you are matched to the right child, with the highest likelihood of a successful placement, so that means getting brutally honest with yourself about what you feel you can take on, where you stand on certain sensitive issues, and your world views. For example, you may be asked if you feel you can parent a child with significant developmental needs. Or you may be asked how you would feel about parenting a child from a different religious or ethnic background to your own. Or maybe if you would be willing to take future siblings of an adopted child should the birth parents go on to have more pregnancies. There are lots of very legitimate, nuanced reasons why some matching criteria may not be suited to you, and you’ll need to be able to feel comfortable to be honest about this with your social worker. Its their job to be approachable so that you can be honest with them and once again, you do not have to be a perfect person open to all possibilities. You just need to be real, and yourself. Much more on this in an upcoming blog.

· I joked earlier about stage 2 feeling like an NVQ – this wasn’t entirely said in jest! We got through mountains of written questions for our workbook prep, and it easily took us 2-3 hours each a week to complete. It’s worth knowing this in advance as I had no idea how in-depth some of our “homework” would be, so it can help to factor this into your diary. Looking back, I have always made myself too busy at the most ridiculous times. I was still scheduling in loads of meetups with friends and family around the process, and with hindsight a few nights “off” a week so I could focus on homework and then chill out would have been a saving grace. Choose a time you truly have the space and energy to be reflective, and where you can take the time you need.

· Don’t be too prescriptive from the get-go – you’ll learn so much about yourself and the child that might be right for you through stage 2 that while I’d advocate for preparing some thoughts, it helps not to box yourself in too soon. A good example of this is the age range of children. You will typically be asked to choose category of age you would like to be approved for at panel. This can emerge during stage 2 and you don’t really need to decide until your PAR is formally submitted at the end. Our age bracket and lots of other matching considerations chopped and changed a lot so keep an open mind and utilise the process as the best teacher. What’s right for you will naturally emerge with the right coaching from your social worker. One caveat to this is that social workers will usually want a sense reasonably early on for whether you would like to adopt siblings or a single child as this does fundamentally change how you will be assessed and the types of conversations you need to have.

· Keep the lines of communication open with your partner (if applicable) – a golden rule in adoption is if something’s a no for one of you, it should be a no for both. Are you on the same page? How do you feel about the issues you’ve discussed? Are you moving in the same direction? We tried to do regular check ins, and this helped us feel like we were a team rather than going through it as two individuals. I’d actually day the adoption process really brought us together as a couple – it’s the first time we had to “work” together for want of a better phrase and it helped our communication and sense of togetherness enormously. There will be times you are in different head spaces and that’s okay – sometimes this is just a case of processing a particularly difficult issue or challenge before arriving at a decision, but do keep talking.

· Think about what you’re comfortable telling who, and when. My partner and I had a broken match which got to very late stages before breaking down (more of that in a later blog) and it was probably to this day the most heart-breaking experience of my life. I’m close with my family and friends, and naturally had wanted to share with them my journey but I look back now and would play it all so differently. Consider how wearing it might be to have to continually answer well-meaning questions about your progress and if you’ve been matched. Adoption is still quite a mystery to many, and people are naturally and understandably curious about it so with the best of intentions people often will ask quite invasive questions which can feel draining to keep repeating. Add that to any underlying grief you may be re-experiencing in relation to infertility…it’s a lot. You need to do what’s right for you. I certainly couldn’t have got through the process if I’d have not told a soul – I had a village of a support network that massively held me up in the most trying times, but I did also have times I really wish I didn’t have to keep re-living all of it with everybody. Whatever you decide – whether to share the whole roller-coaster with everybody – or to choose a select group you trust before trekking the wider world, try to do so consciously. It’s another cruelty of infertility (if this applies to you) that that preparation excitement that biological parents get to experience is a little tarnished by the anxiety of the process, but believe me, when you find your child, you’ll want to shout it from the rooftops and it’ll all be worth it. Equally, I would say that it will be incredibly isolating if you choose to not tell a soul. I think I would have found it impossible to try to keep all my plates spinning at work for example, if I hadn’t have been able to explain to my manager the likely impact, or to have met up with friends and them not know such a massive aspect of my life was changing, so make sure you have some close buddies beside you to walk with you too.

· Finally, expect the process to bring up big feelings. There’s probably not a human out there who hasn’t experienced some form of grief, loss, bereavement, or trauma, and as I mentioned earlier, these times will be touched upon throughout in the context of understanding how you’ve come to be the person you are today. Some examples of issues you might need to discuss are infertility, infant loss, miscarriage, childhood traumas, health conditions, life challenges…and there will inevitably be days where this level of scrutiny and revisiting the past takes its toll. I’d bring you back to debriefing and self-care. I found it was the smallest things that helped me cope with this; little rituals I made for myself like a bath with a candle and a book, some alone time, or perhaps journaling any persistent feelings to get them out on to a page. Sometimes just getting a decent night’s sleep made all the difference.

So, I hope this has been helpful in preparing you for what to expect from stage 2 in a more general sense. Next blog, I’ll be taking you through the specific topics you are likely to discuss with your social worker for your PAR in your appointments, with prompts on some things it may be worth starting to reflect on already.

Until next time!

#adoption adoptionbloguk adoptionbloggeruk adoptionblog adoptionblogger adoptionrocks adoptioncommunity adoptioncommunityuk

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e-dash-lace · 7 years ago

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I am having lots of fun making these! I keep coming up with things I haven’t seen on tumblr and most of them have to do with College! There is a lot about note-taking and a lot about studying blah blah blah but not a lot about just COLLEGE in general. College is a lot different than high school in that there is MUCH MORE to college than just school. Campus is a huge part of this. So I made this guide.

Some Tips on Figuring our your campus

1. Do not be afraid to do things alone. You will not always have friends who want to be following you around campus to comedy shows, concerts, and yoga classes so don’t be afraid to try new things alone. That’s how you make friends in college.

2. Be open-minded. Know your limits but don’t be afraid to try and push them.

3. Follow your gut. Don’t do things that make you feel uncomfortable or travel on paths that you think feel dangerous. I don’t recommend travelling around campus alone at night unless you absolutely have to.

How to not become lost!

1. Pick a building and orient yourself. You don’t need to know cardinal directions, you just need to have a basic left-right-up-down orientation. I don’t care if its your dorm, your student union, your major building, the health center. Anywhere. You should be able to see routes in your head for every building your need to be at from that building.

2. Practice makes perfect: walk campus. Start with your building of orientation and walk to your dorm, your dining hall, your student union, and your library. Then walk from your dorm to all of your classes. You should know how to get to your dorm, student union, library, dining hall, and most visited classroom building from the main road. You will get better at this with practice but as you become more comfortable with your routes, switch them up.

If you plan on riding a bike around campus, walk a lot of campus first and take note of places where there are bike racks. Walking gives you the freedom to find new places to park your bike, walk with friends, and take different exits. You might even be able to find a better bike spot if you spend the first few weeks at school walking.

2. Follow people you see on a regular basis. That sounds creepy but if you see one girl in a class and then in the dining hall later and don’t know how she got there follow her at a safe but not creepy distance to see what routes she takes. If you always see people going down a certain corridor coming from the library, follow them. Don’t be creepy about it and don’t openly stalk people because that will get you in a lot of trouble and isn’t cute. But you should

3. Look for study spaces! If your campus has more than one library try to visit at least three of them. You may find that one of them is closer to you than the main library. Go to your student union (or equivalent multipurpose building) and explore. Eat there, walk around. Try to take all of the entrances and exists and sit once on every floor. When you go to both of these places, ask for a map of the campus and a map of the building if they have one.

4. There’s probably an app for that! Ask around. This is a great way to be lost without looking lost!

Super Important Aspects of Your Campus

* Make sure to follow your campus as well as all the following buildings on social media to stay up to date on what is going on on your campus. This is the easiest way to find out about local campus-run activities and events. *

Student Union

This place has all kinds of stuff. Club offices and information centers, ticketing for events, maps, food, greek life offices, offices for diversity (usually there are several different offices), off-campus housing offices, etc. Take time looking for bathrooms in this building on the different floors. This is the easiest way to spot new offices and hidden things. Student Unions can also be home to free art exhibits and other events for students. Student Unions may also be the hub for post offices and student bookstores which will be super important for textbook rental, sending letters, and buying stamps. Go to your student union at least once a week to see what is up. They might have events that they aren’t advertising, symposiums that no one told you about, and art hidden in the corners. Every student union is different so when you go there, try and sit in different places. Buy food and eat on a different floor from where you got it or take some time to study in there.

The Library(s)

I made an entire post on that here so read that if you haven’t already. Everything I could have put here will be there. The library will have study spaces as well as tons of resources for research. I updated it recently . Your campus probably has more than one library and they probably all have slightly different services so make sure you check them all out.

The Health Center/Clinic Thing

University Health Centers tend to operate like clinics with terrible hours. They do everything from check ups to illness visits. They usually have a pharmacy where you can get generic medicine for less money than your local CVS. Health Centers also usually offer de-stress services like exercise, therapy dog sessions, and sometimes even acupuncture. If you’re a new student who needs to regularly have mental health checks or receives allergy shots, visit your school’s health center, call ahead, or find their website to get more information.

Be kind to the doctors and nurses at this clinic. If you’re someone like me who goes to the doctor for every little thing, it’s good to know you can have someone you trust to slide you into appointments or prescribe you medicine if you really need it.

Your Counseling Center

This building is sometimes separate from the Health Center or regular health services buildings. Find out their walk-in hours and usual walk-in appointment durations. Chances are if they keep you longer than a regular walk-in session, you may need to find an actual therapist or make regular counseling center appointments. They are willing to talk to you about anything from majors to your mental health problems and beyond so if you ever have an issue, you should go here. College will inevitably get very stressful so you should make sure you know where this is and when you can just walk-in.

Your Major Advisor

These are just like High School Guidance Counselors. However the quality of your advising can sometimes vary by major/school. I switched my major from Business to Japanese partially because I found the Arts & Humanities Advising to be more helpful than business. Check out their walk-in hours and try to meet with your advisor at least once every semester before you register for classes even if your school doesn’t require it. They often offer career and internship services specific to your major and school so make sure you check that out. If you are considering changing your major, talk to the major advisor for your current major and your prospective one about your idea to change because your current major advisor may be able to offer your some information regarding passing benchmarks if you decide to switch back. There are a lot of things to consider when changing your major (see @vera-studies masterpost here because it’s pretty good), but you have to go through the motions to do it so make sure you familiarize yourself with advising early on. If you keep a bullet journal, save the cards of your advising office inside in case you ever need them.

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cerealcheeriokiller · 7 years ago

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My new GP and my Mental Health

For those of you who don’t know I live in the UK. Over the past 5 years I have been dealing with depression, anxiety and a whole other lod of stuff. About 2 years ago my depression got that bad that I went to my GP and told her about my depression and anxiety. She suggested counselling and therapy. I later went for an appointment with a psychologist to see what sort of therapy I needed and she decided that I deeded EMDR as she believed that everything was caused by PTSD I had from an eye operation I had 2 years prior.

For 3 months I went to the EMDR sessions and it only made things worse. I sat in a room in complete silence watching some flashing lights for 30-60 minutes a week. Not the best when you want to kill yourself. I ended up telling the person who did the EMDR sessions with me that they were not helping and that I had self harmed and suicidal thoughts were becoming more frequent. As a result she referred me to a counselling service which I attended once a week for 9 weeks. (They only really allow 6 sessions)

However my counselling has finished and my head is still really bad. The counselling helped my anxiety but my depression is worse than ever. As a result I reached out to my new GP and asked for guidance they simply brushed me off and said return to counselling. I returned to counselling for a further few weeks and my depression still was awful. During some conversations with my counsellor he said I should return to my GP and request medication as he thought that would be best for me.

My new GP is not helpful when it comes to mental health. They brush you off and don’t take you seriously. I believe this is because of my age (I’m 18) and I feel it is unfair and unprofessional. I’m still struggling with my depression and I feel like there is nowhere to go. My love goes out to anyone in a similar position💕

#long post #mental health #anxiety #depression #support

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lesbiancouplescounseling · 5 years ago

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Chances are, this question…Why are lesbian couples retreats so powerful?…has never even floated across your mind before.

That’s because private couples retreats are just now coming onto the scene. This intensive type of therapy is a new (and improved) option for rescuing your relationship, fast.

And let me tell you, it’s a brilliant option for many, many couples like you.

Especially if one of you is thinking about ending your relationship, but you both know deep down that you haven’t tried everything (yet) to save it.

Don’t make the mistake of throwing in the towel before you exhaust all avenues to get back on track. Otherwise, you’ll be plagued with that heavy, dreary feeling of regret…forever.

You know the one I’m talking about!

What is an intensive lesbian couples retreat, anyway?

Here’s the formula:

One lesbian couple + one lesbian therapist + one or two full days of therapy lesbian couples retreat. That simple.

What our lesbian couples retreats are NOT…

Nor are they spa-like get-aways designed for rest and relaxation. (You can book a yoga retreat in Costa Rica for that!)

How does that sound to you?

Why are our lesbian couples retreats so powerful?

I’m glad you asked. Because I’m cheesed to share the 5 R’s of these relationship intensives. Don’t worry, the 5 R’s don’t have anything to do with reading, writing or arithmetic!

These couples retreats are so extremely powerful because they include these five relationship healing elements:

1. Retreat

Onward…

I simply cannot over-emphasize the value of taking the time out of your very busy life and routine (dare I say rat-race) to pause and focus on your relationship for two days.

Priceless!

Retreating from your every-day life will give you the margins and inner resources needed to learn and integrate new skills and create emotional muscle memory that will last.

Let me be honest, it’s much harder and longer (as in months and months of counseling) to pull that off by going to a 50-minute therapy session once every couple of weeks.

In fact, it’s often impossible to fix what’s broken and create a relationship that thrives in traditional, hourly couples counseling.

2. Reboot

Have you ever had a computer virus worm it’s way into your prized operating system?

Well, my friend, a lesbian couples retreat will provide you with a reboot to your relationship operating system.

Think of a lesbian couples therapy retreat as the quickest and most effective way to reboot your partnership and to onboard the very best Anti-viral software for a secure future.

3. Repair

That’s probably because you two never fully repaired and resolved painful situations from your past.

And you don’t trust that you can speak up without causing conflict.

Then you’ll discover the power of repair.

You’ll have opportunities during the lesbian couples retreat to repair past hurts and to learn how to deliver and receive soothing repairs moving forward.

4. Reconnect

Tired of feeling disconnected from your partner?

If you’ve been living in the lonely desert of disconnection, you’ll be happy to know that our lesbian couples retreat will definitely help you and your partner reconnect.

I’m talking a deep reconnection of your hearts. As well as a rekindled physical connection, if that’s what you both desire.

But don’t worry, this won’t be a fleeting reconnection, destined to dwindle a few days after returning home.

In fact, a major purpose of the lesbian couples retreat is to equip you with a set of easy steps that will help you maintain a meaningful and satisfying connection over the months and years to come.

5. Recommit

By the end of your time in one of our retreats, you’ll be prepared to make a solid recommitment to one another.

No more waffling on whether you’re going to go or stay.

And no more worries about whether or not your partner is on her way out the door.

Along with a renewed commitment, you’ll have a clear plan for moving forward in a way that will continue to support the repair, growth, and intimate connection in your relationship for good.

With this newfound recommitment, you’ll be able to work effectively as a team. And become what I call a Power Couple.

If you’re ready to move from being a mess of a couple to becoming a power couple, you should seriously consider scheduling a lesbian couples retreat in Denver.

We’d love to help rescue your relationship and then set it on a course to thrive.

#Lesbian Couples Counseling #Lesbian Relationship Breakthrough Program #Lesbian Couples Retreat #Lesbian Couples Therapy #Lesbian Couples Transformation Program #Lesbian Couples Retreats

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anna-2807 · 5 years ago

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