#Quarterlife Center

[ippnoida]

JLF New York announces speaker list

JLF New York, produced by Teamwork Arts, pioneering Indian curatorial company, returns for its 8th edition on 10 and 11 September 2024, at one of the world’s most culturally alive cities. The festival, which embodies the energy of its mother ship, the annual Jaipur Literature Festival (JLF), will bring back its signature camaraderie, books and writers, and ideas and conversations that make it truly special. Held at prestigious venues including the Asia Society, the National Arts Club, the Center for Fiction, and Sundaram Tagore Gallery, JLF New York promises a rich tapestry of debates and dialog, featuring a roster of speakers.

JLF New York 2024’s speakers include André Aciman, author of Call Me by Your Name, Homo Irrealis and Find Me, whose new memoir My Roman Year will be released in October 2024. Joining him is Devika Rege, celebrated for her debut novel Quarterlife, recognized as a landmark in contemporary Indian literature. 

The festival will also have Navdeep Suri, distinguished diplomat and translator, who has brought to life his grandfather Nanak Singh's searing ballad on the Jallianwala Bagh massacre, Khooni Vaisakhi, alongside Harpreet, well-known singer and composer, known for his innovative repertoire. Renowned filmmaker Shekhar Kapur, celebrated for cinematic works like Elizabeth: The Golden Age and Bandit Queen, will also grace the festival, as will Josephine Quinn, professor of Ancient History at Oxford University, and author of the book How the World Made the West.

The line-up continues with Shashi Tharoor, prominent author and politician, and Izzeldin Abuelaish, a Nobel Peace Prize nominee dedicated to health and education advocacy in the Middle East. Tarun Tahiliani, famous fashion designer known for his fusion of Indian textiles with contemporary styles, will also be featured, bringing his unique artistic vision to the festival.

Nermeen Shaikh, co-host and senior producer at Democracy Now! will also be a part of this year’s program. Kanishk Tharoor, author and senior editor at Foreign Affairs, and Sanjoy K Roy, managing director of Teamwork Arts, will contribute to sessions with their expertise. The festival will also feature Sree Sreenivasan, a digital innovation leader and president of the South Asian Journalists’ Association, Aroon Purie, eminent Indian media industry leader, and Mohit Satyanand, entrepreneur and investor. 

For more information, please visit:

JLF New York: https://jlflitfest.org/new-york

[rpgadverts]

Writing-centric, thread-based plots (model pref) for an active NYC real life site…

A Broadway enthusiast/researcher as a love interest for a fellow enthusiast, an Art Photographer and single dad. Some elements of history diving, maybe fun au threads and lots of character development

A younger brother living up to family legacy while the older brother lies through his quarterlife crisis moment – themes: bonding through family baggage & trying not to turn against one another

Don Quixote spirits love interest requests that center on chivalric romance, courtly love, and platonic love for organic concepts with open range and flexibility.

Wife needed for an infidelity plot inspired by the Good Morning America Holmes-Robach mess but all parties involved work in the same tv industry/station. Lots of development and nuance for a slow-paced plot.

[jcinktinder]

Writing-centric, thread-based plots (model pref) for an active NYC real life site…

A Broadway enthusiast/researcher as a love interest for a fellow enthusiast, an Art Photographer and single dad. Some elements of history diving, maybe fun au threads and lots of character development

A younger brother living up to family legacy while the older brother lies through his quarterlife crisis moment – themes: bonding through family baggage & trying not to turn against one another

Don Quixote spirits love interest requests that center on chivalric romance, courtly love, and platonic love for organic concepts with open range and flexibility.

Wife needed for an infidelity plot inspired by the Good Morning America Holmes-Robach mess but all parties involved work in the same tv industry/station. Lots of development and nuance for a slow-paced plot.

Female sports co-host/podcaster colleague for an obnoxious sports podcaster for a love-hate-love vibe based on sports fanaticism and rivalry – themes: sports rivalry but make it a ship

[allthingsroleplay]

Writing-centric, thread-based plots (model pref) for an active NYC real life site…

A Broadway enthusiast/researcher as a love interest for a fellow enthusiast, an Art Photographer and single dad. Some elements of history diving, maybe fun au threads and lots of character development

A younger brother living up to family legacy while the older brother lies through his quarterlife crisis moment – themes: bonding through family baggage & trying not to turn against one another

Don Quixote spirits love interest requests that center on chivalric romance, courtly love, and platonic love for organic concepts with open range and flexibility.

Wife needed for an infidelity plot inspired by the Good Morning America Holmes-Robach mess but all parties involved work in the same tv industry/station. Lots of development and nuance for a slow-paced plot.

[rpadverts]

Writing-centric, thread-based plots (model pref) for an active NYC real life site…

Don Quixote spirits love interest requests that center on chivalric romance, courtly love, and platonic love for organic concepts with open range and flexibility.

An ex & a crush for a lgbtq+ pub owner. His business partner for a gastropub and microbrewery/distillery is his ex. Meanwhile he’s crushing on a late-bloomer… so life is interesting (mlm).

Complicated, casual fwb for an ice hockey player (mlm) for an organic plot where they navigate iffy territory. There’s a mix bag of potential stories and interests so this is open to development & organic chemistry.

A younger brother living up to family legacy while the older brother lies through his quarterlife crisis moment – themes: bonding through family baggage & trying not to turn against one another

[anna-2807]

Couples Counseling near Dupont Circle

Life transitions that occur in your twenties and thirties can be exciting for couples, but they are also stressful. Building a life together is a wonderful thing, but it also can create significant tension and anxiety. As couples consider taking their relationships to the next level, whether it’s moving in together, planning for marriage or having a baby, they often experience increased conflict and miscommunication, decreased sexual intimacy, and even doubts about their compatibility.

At QLC, we understand how these transitions affect couples, and we are here to help you work together as a couple to navigate these challenging times.

These are some of the areas our couples counselors can help you with:

Communication skills

Empathy and understanding

Effective conflict resolution

Anger and resentment

Decision-making as a couple

Emotional connection

Sexual intimacy

Infidelity

Trust

Conflict about finances

About the Quarter-Life Center (QLC):

Our QLC Counselors specialize in working with individuals and couples in their 20s and 30s in a supportive, caring, confidential setting. We will work with you to help you identify your passions, achieve your goals and thrive in your life.

Quarter-Life Center offers the following services:

Individual Counseling

Couples Counseling

Premarital Counseling

Career Coaching

Perinatal/Postpartum Counseling

If you’re interested in scheduling an appointment or you’d like more information, please contact.

[emberweekdays]

I rushed but the bus left me. That sucks. Anyway, thanks, Grab. So, Hubby and I talked about what will happen if he goes to the military camp hospital. He said he'll be trained physically for 3 months, and then he'll work in their laboratory for a year. I don't wanna ask "San ako dun?" because I know where I'll be. I'll be done with school during that time, I might apply to Japan to teach English, who knows... Or jump to Malaysia and join Kuya Pong and Ate Leda in a call center that imports Filipino folks. Our goal is to work in Canada, but we gotta step to some other country first before going in there, and that's just the beginning. Mi Hubby said he'll stay in the military hospital for a year or two and then jump overseas too. I love our relationship so much that I feel like I won't be able to bear the pain if it does not work out in the end. I will always long for our laughs and kulitan moments. We're on our quarterlife crisis of adulthood if you look at it. He's 25 and I'm turning 24 in next few days. What I like about him is that he usually say that he do things for himself, for me and for our future. I never uttered that, but I always wanna be good for him (knowing how his mom loves him so). I teach him everything I know, but he taught me lots of things like having long patience that I once had. 🙄 I frankly told him that we might be apart if ever, because I'll be away for sure and he said that that's okay. I mean, I am okay with that too. Who's rushing? I just feel sad thinking that it's a must to break up if we set our lives apart for the mean time. It's because I am sure he will meet somebodyelse. I'm pretty sure I'll ignore other +men because... That's how fixated I am. I mean, he said that's what he'll do too, but I don't know how would that work for the both of us. We'll see. Now I looked at how petty things were before us. They don't even matter. All that matters is I think of this person while doing cases at work, he's the first person I think of when I listen to love songs, I smile a wide smile When I remember our funny moments, I always miss how warm our hugs and kisses all the time, and how very vocal he is to say that I am beautiful even when I just woke up beside him and I am pretty l sure that I look like shit. 🤣 I just love him so much, I imagined my married life with him. It's pretty hard to find a person that would love you half to death. I liked how transparent this relationship is. May we last a life time ❤️

[jatswhatshesaid]

Bring it on, 25! 📸 by @haroldjason. Surprise, surprise from my SuitedConnector fam. Thank you. My heart is full. 🙏🏼 😊😊 . . . . . . . . #beyondblessed #humbled #birthday #quarterlife #twentysomethings #millennial #celebratelife #vsco #vscogirl #vscochill #vscoph #vscocebu #vscoworld (at FLB Corporate Center)

[quarterlifecenter]

Mistakes Couples Make (And How to Avoid Them!)

Relationships aren��t perfect, and mistakes are inevitable. However, as you and your significant other learn and grow together, there are some common mistakes that you can avoid. Read through the list below to see how you can expand your perspective and improve your relationship now and for the long term.

Here are 5 common mistakes that couples make:

1. They talk about hot button issues while intoxicated.

If you have an important topic to address, make sure you put it on hold if one or both of you is drinking. Sometimes you may feel tempted to bring up subjects that one of you has on your mind, but being intoxicated often makes people more emotional and less tactful. Unfortunately, for many couples, discussing while drinking often escalates to arguing. To avoid this mistake, be conscious and mindful of the fact that this can happen. Remember: Don’t drink and discuss.

Before the night begins, agree together which topics are off-limits for the night and should be saved for discussion until the next day. Planning your communication in this way will help prevent any blow-ups.

2. They bring up sensitive topics without warning.

Some topics can be difficult to discuss at a moment’s notice. While you may be ready to discuss finances or having another baby, it’s unlikely your partner is in the same headspace at the exact same time. Likewise, you may not be ready to discuss traveling during the pandemic or whose family you’ll spend the holidays with when your partner brings it up.

For everyone’s sake, schedule these conversations so the timing works for BOTH of you. You want to make sure you’re both in the mental headspace to discuss these topics and that you have time to prepare and gather your thoughts.

3. They attack their partner’s behavior.

When you’re frustrated with your partner, you may feel inclined to accuse them of what they did. Often, we feel better after telling others what they did wrong. The result? It puts them on the defensive and makes it hard for them to be open to your feelings.

Instead, express to your partner how their action made you feel.

Instead of this: “You always leave your dirty dishes on the counter for me to clean up — you’re so inconsiderate!”

Try this: “When you leave your dirty dishes in the kitchen, I feel stressed out by the clutter in our shared space, and I feel taken for granted.”

This helps take the focus off of them and keeps it on you and your feelings. You can also ask your partner to tell you what their intention was (instead of assuming you know what their intention was). More often than not, your significant other didn’t have a malicious intention to hurt you. When you use “I feel” statements rather than blaming your partner, you open up communication so you can talk through how to resolve the problem together.

4. They hesitate to schedule sex.

Do you think about passion and intimacy as something that must be spontaneous? If so, you’re not the only one. Couples often think they’re doing something wrong if their sex life isn’t glamorous like in the movies and if sex isn’t just happening “naturally.” But that’s not how life works in long-term relationships. It’s easy for other things to take priority — work, household tasks, kids…

You schedule time for other things that are important to you: exercise, meals, work meetings, and social activities. Why shouldn’t sex work the same way? Sex is an important way for couples to connect and for you both to feel more vibrant and alive. Prioritizing and scheduling sex ensures that it won’t get pushed out of your relationship by other priorities. Having it on the schedule gives you something to look forward to, like scheduling date nights! Don’t be afraid to sit down with your partner and put it on the calendar.

5. They don’t express their needs.

People don’t always ask for what they need, even in a stable relationship. They may fear seeming vulnerable, weak, or needy or being judged by their partner. In fact, too often we fall into the mindset that a true partner will know what we need through intuition simply because they “care enough.”

Here’s the truth. Your partner can truly love and care about you and still not know what you need. And you are not forcing your partner to do something that they don’t want to do by stating your needs. As a grown and independent adult, you should feel comfortable articulating what you need. Your partner (also grown and independent) is able to decide how to respond and can articulate whether or not they can meet your need.

And don’t forget — just because you make your needs known doesn’t mean your partner HAS to do what you’ve asked. Your partner should listen and be curious about your needs, but depending on the request, they should feel free to decide whether or not they’re able to fulfill it. If you’re in a loving, respectful relationship, this is all part of ongoing effective communication.

Final thoughts

Understanding how you can avoid these common mistakes in your relationship can help you feel more satisfied in your relationship. The key? Have open communication with your partner. Relationship conflicts are inevitable, but having a solid foundation to navigate them makes all the difference.

For help, consider couples counseling with the Quarterlife Center. Visit here for more information.

If you’re interested in scheduling an appointment or you’d like more information, please contact us.

[quarterlifecenter]

Want to Find a Job? 3 Tips For Your Toolkit

If you’re a recent grad seeking a job, there are a few ways you can prepare for this transition. It’s not easy being a young adult, but just a few tips and tricks in your toolkit can make you feel even more confident as you walk this path. Here’s what you should focus on in the coming months, if not everything is set in stone (and trust us — no one has it all figured out!).

1. Create a strong resume

Every time you walk into a career center, enter a job fair, or take a coffee meeting with someone, they’ll likely ask you about your resume. Your resume is the most important document you can have during your job search. It’s a clear, concise, formal document that provides an overview of your professional qualifications.

Unfortunately, most job seekers falter when it comes to creating their resumes. Employers only look at resumes for roughly 6 to 7 seconds. Yes! You read that correctly. If you don’t write your resume correctly, then you’re less likely to receive positive feedback. Here are some quick pointers that can make all the difference.

Keep your resume short and direct

Use a professional resume template, but don’t copy it exactly (you don’t want to look like everyone else!)

Highlight your most relevant skills and experiences for the job you’re applying

Demonstrate results with numbers and metrics to make your actions tangible (i.e., How did you personally achieve results?)

2. Network to your advantage

You may think you’ll find your perfect position by browsing job postings, but this just isn’t the case. Some estimates suggest that up to 70 percent of all jobs aren’t published on publicly available job search websites. So, where are you going to find your dream position?

Networking. Research has shown that anywhere from half to upwards of 80 percent of jobs are filled through someone the candidate knows. If you’re able to leverage this skill set, you’re putting yourself ahead of your peers.

Most universities don’t teach a class on networking, however, which means graduates feel woefully unprepared for how to navigate this element of the search. Consider using these guidelines:

Schedule face-to-face time with contacts over lunch or coffee

Prepare questions and discussions beforehand to fight anxiety

Remember it takes time to cultivate worthwhile relationships

Try not to exclusively sell yourself — set your sights on building a relationship instead

Use social networks and other online relationships to search for new connections (Maybe those connections come from neighbors or family friends!)

Follow up with contacts and thank them for their time

3. Clean up your online presence

You’ve likely been told for the last 10 years that hiring managers will be looking at your social media…so keep it clean! But now that you’re searching for a job, what does this mean?

According to research, 45 percent of hiring managers use social media to learn more about potential candidates. In fact, they use it just like a resume or cover letter. If you’re not sure exactly what exists on your profiles, now is the time to spruce it up. Here are the steps we recommend taking.

Google yourself It takes less than 3 seconds to Google yourself and find your “digital dirt.” Once you know what’s out there, you can begin the cleanup process.

Remove incriminating photos Remove distasteful, inappropriate, or offensive pictures from your profile. These don’t align with your personal brand, and your potential employer shouldn’t see them. (For example, you probably don’t need a photo of you at your college frat!)

Change your privacy settings Keep your private life private. A simple change in your privacy settings can help eliminate the possibility of not getting hired.

Final Thoughts

Oftentimes, your mindset is just as important as all the above listed items. Check out our blog on Postgraduation Mindset. Do you want to talk about your career options? Or get help with your resume? Get more direction with Career Coaching from the Quarterlife Center. We offer 15-minute complimentary career sessions — see if it’s a good fit for you!

If you’re interested in scheduling an appointment or you’d like more information, please contact us.

[quarterlifecenter]

5 Tips for a Positive Post-Graduation Mindset

Congratulations! You just graduated, and that’s a huge accomplishment. If you have a job lined up after graduation, that’s spectacular. You’re probably feeling a mix of emotions and trying to process it all. If you don’t, then that’s still spectacular. You’re also likely feeling a mix of emotions and trying to process it all.

Society preaches that graduating seniors should have it all figured out by the time they walk across the stage, but it doesn’t happen that way for everyone. This can create a confusing, stressful, and exhausting mindset for a graduate just trying to figure out their life. Here’s what we recommend for the next few months if you just received your diploma, but you’re still finding your footing.

1. Maintain a positive mindset

A job search can be a true test of confidence. If you’ve been job hunting your entire senior year without much luck, then you may be losing some momentum. However, it’s more important than ever to maintain a positive mindset. While it may be taking longer than expected, you find a position well-suited for you. Check out our post Want to Find a Job? 3 Tips for Your Toolkit – to get more help on finding a job.

2. Pace yourself

Your life is not your job. We repeat — your life is not your job! Don’t become so consumed by the job search that you forget other activities, hobbies, or rewarding elements of your life. Some people find jobs immediately and others spend months searching for optimal opportunities. If you lose yourself completely in this process, you’re more likely to feel like it’s never going to get better. Take a step back, breathe, and remember that finding a job will happen with consistent effort.

3. Lean on your support system

Some people isolate themselves when they feel their lives aren’t going well. They may feel ashamed or embarrassed if life isn’t turning out exactly as they planned. However, there are plenty of people in your life who can support you through this, even providing ideas or tips if desired. Friends and family members are an ideal place to start, but you can consider reaching out to therapists or career coaches as well if you need additional support.

4. Find your own definition of success

At the same time, there are often a lot of voices surrounding graduating students. Block out the noise that isn’t helpful to you. You don’t have to follow the advice of your professors, parents, or peers if it isn’t what success looks like to YOU. Ask yourself, “What will make me happy? What will make me feel fulfilled? What will help me find success?”

5. Create a timeline

When you graduate, everyone will tell you that you “have your whole life ahead of you.” This is meant to feel inspiring, but it can easily feel daunting. What happens if you don’t have a plan for tomorrow or next week?

Start by creating a timeline for the next month or until the end of the summer. This will help you understand your success in a defined period, and it can help you gain confidence.

Final Thoughts

Are you feeling nervous about your job search? Read our blog Want to Find a Job? 3 Tips for Your Toolkit or sign up for Career Coaching with the Quarterlife Center. We’re here to help you make this transition to adulthood as seamless as possible.

If you’re interested in scheduling an appointment or you’d like more information, please contact us.

[quarterlifecenter]

How To Adapt to Ongoing Pandemic Ups and Downs

We have heard that the pandemic is over; and shortly after that, the Center for Disease Control (CDC) corrected the claim, informing us that this was not the case, but that we are in a much more hopeful and confident place than ever before. This is just one example of the back-and-forth we have been experiencing for a while now. It seems that we are in another period of transition where we’re trying to adjust to the “new normal.” And it wasn’t too long ago that we had to adapt to the “pandemic normal.”

In March 2020, the world faced a series of forced choices in efforts to adapt to lockdowns, limitations, and losses. Waves of fear, anger, sadness and other complex emotional experiences surfaced, and we did our best to make things work within the confines of our new reality. Through facing our individual and collective suffering, many of us found rhythms, adaptations, and processes that started to work for us. Maybe we sometimes sulked and balked, as we tolerated and accepted what we could not change. We reframed our thinking, problem solved, and connected with others who went through similar experiences. We started to feel a sense of mastery over this new way of existing.

It hasn’t been that long since we have been through The Great Resignation, which later became the Great Talent Reshuffle. Now we’re faced with requirements and demands to adapt again. Maybe we are asked to come back into the office partially or entirely, which completely throws off the rhythm we have grown accustomed to. Maybe classes start in hybrid or in-person, requiring flexible schedules, finding new child or pet care, and coordinating with others and their unique demands. As we return in person, some of our favorite coffee shops or lunch spots have closed, and we must plan our meals differently. Or perhaps we’re recovering from a painful season of suffering and loss. We are asked to adapt but haven’t fully recovered from the previous ups and downs. We might feel emotionally exhausted, indignant, or maybe excited and anxious simultaneously.

How do we emerge from the last 2+ years into these new expectations and demands? The answer is complex and beyond the goal of this blog, but we have a few insights worth considering.

1. Our track record shows that we can do it.

Give yourself credit for all the hard work you’ve put in to adjust to the last two years. Your personal history shows you’re creative and resourceful. If you’re reading this, the chances are that you have resiliently adapted to life’s demands up to this point.

2. Allow and accept emotions, even unpleasant ones.

We had a wide range of emotions at the start of the pandemic and throughout it. We will likely experience similar waves of sadness, fear, anger, and anxiety connected to a new set of circumstances. Instead of pushing them away, allow them to show up and pass, just like the waves of the oceans do.

3. Suffering can come from various sources, but our responses are limited.

Dr. Marsha Linehan offered a practical framework to deal with problems. In providing Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, Dr. Linehan validates that difficulties, distress, pain, and suffering can come from a myriad of sources; however, we can typically respond in the following four ways:

Solve for the source of the problem: when that is feasible, when there is a solution, and you have the resources and willingness to implement it.

Change how you feel about the source of distress by changing your thoughts concerning it. In therapy, we often work on reframing or exploring and making meaning of our difficult experiences that we cannot change.

Tolerate the problem until a solution is evident. That may not change how we feel about it, but it will allow us to get through something difficult without making it worse.

Do nothing and remain miserable. That usually requires the least amount of energy and also provides the least amount of relief

So as we feel challenged to adapt yet again, let’s remind ourselves that we have adapted before, that our feelings are valid, and that we have options to consider as we emerge into a new season.

Additionally, the counselors at the Quarterlife Center are here to help you process these changes.

If you’re interested in scheduling an appointment or you’d like more information, please contact us.

[quarterlifecenter]

DBT Therapy Group for Quarterlifers

An interpersonal skills group to support those who want to improve their relationships.

When you are in your twenties and thirties, there is a lot that life can throw at you. And here at QLC, we aim to give quarterlifers the skills to deal with those challenges. There are plenty of ups and downs in relationships, whether it’s relationships with your partner, your parents, your friends, or coworkers. One way to improve your relationships and cope with stress is to learn how to observe your experiences, regulate intense emotions, tolerate distress and develop effective interpersonal skills in a DBT interpersonal skills to foster relational satisfaction in a group therapy setting. In this group, you’ll get to learn new skills AND practice them with one another all with the guidance of an experienced DBT therapist.

Let’s Dive into DBT

Dialectical Behavior Therapy was developed by Marsha Linehan in the 1970’s. While it has initially used for those with borderline personality disorder, or suicidal ideation, it is now used to help anyone improve their ability to regulate intense emotions, tolerate distress and effectively navigate relationships and everyday life.

So let’s learn how to improve our relationships,

Live more in the moment,

Feel calmer during conflict,

Find healthy ways to cope with stress, and

Be more present…for ourselves and our relationships.

This DBT group teaches you the skills to be your best self in your relationships.

Weekly online group sessions with DBT therapist Dorin

An individual session with Dorin for orientation and goal setting

Skills worksheets to reinforce concepts between sessions

Opportunities to workshop new skills in the group sessions

Join The Waitlist.

This group is perfect for you if…

You want to improve your relationships

Your emotions often feel out of control

You tend to react strongly or “overreact” during conflict

You want to feel calmer in everyday life

You will be located in DC, MD or VA at the time of the session

It’s Not The Right Fit For You If…

You handle the stresses of everyday life well

You manage your emotions well during interpersonal conflict

You’re not comfortable participating in a group environment (that’s OK! We offer individual sessions as well.)

This group is led by QLC therapist Dorin Captari-Scirri, who has advanced training in DBT and has experience leading multiple DBT groups. Initially, the tasks of the group will focus on learning and using basic DBT skills of mindfulness, emotion regulation, distress tolerance and heavier focus on interpersonal skills with one another. And as group cohesion is formed, you will have the option to continue after 12 weeks as a longer-term interpersonal process group. This group is best for those who are currently in individual therapy or have been in therapy previously.

Meets Wednesdays 5:00PM – 6:15 PM Eastern time

Meetings are held through an online secure platform

Starts Summer 2022

12-week commitment required

4-8 members

$175 per session

Yes, I’m ready to improve my relationships and my life!

[quarterlifecenter]

3 Mistakes Parents of Quarterlifers Make

If you’re a parent of a quarterlifer, you may be looking at your son or daughter in distress. These 20- or 30-something Millennials and Gen Z-ers are at a pivotal point in their lives, and along with everything else going on, the last couple of years haven’t been easy on them. Yet, as much as you want to help, sometimes your actions may be making the situation worse (doesn’t every parent love to hear that!). In this blog, we’ll discuss the top 3 mistakes that parents of quarterlifers make and how you can redirect your energy and actions to actually improve their situation.

1. You offer too much help

We all know these types of parents — and you might be one of them. Those that are overbearing and micromanaging. Of course, they mean well and want to help their child. It’s difficult to see your child struggling, and as a parent, you want to do anything you can to help them.

However, now that your children are emerging adults, they’re developing independence and autonomy. This is the time to let them take the reins and help them find the resources to do things on their own. Let your kids fall down, skin their knees, and figure it out themselves. It may not be easy for them (or you!), but it’ll be better for everyone in the long run.

2. You don’t let them help themselves

No one wants to be an enabler, but this is often what parents of quarterlifers are. They do things for their children that they should really be doing for themselves. If your quarterlife child is living with you or you’re financially supporting them, make sure you set boundaries and talk about expectations. You can be helpful to your child and support them without doing everything.

For example, if they are living with you, discuss how they should help around the house and demonstrate responsibility for taking care of the home. What chores should be completed on a weekly basis? How will they work towards their goals while living with you? The best way to support them is by ensuring they are continuing to grow themselves!

3. You wait too long to open up communication

If you see your quarterlifer is struggling, then you may think it’s best to leave them be. Unfortunately, this is a common mistake that parents make. They take too long to open up communication and offer their support. Having a quarterlife crisis is very real, and it is often accompanied by depression and anxiety that must be treated with therapy, medication, or both. Reach out to them and let them know that you’re here, concerned, and ready to support them in a way that works for both of you.

Final thoughts

Do you have a quarterlife child that you’re trying to help? Early adulthood is a common time that low levels of anxiety and depression can become more acute. Your child isn’t alone!

Visit the Quarterlife Center for more resources. Contact us here.

[quarterlifecenter]

Grief and the Quarterlife Crisis

Are you in your twenties or thirties and grieving the death of a loved one? If you are, you already know that this is a particularly difficult time of life to grieve the loss of someone you love.

Grieving a loss as a young adult is challenging for several reasons:

1) Experiencing grief during the quarterlife phase of life is an “off-time” life event, meaning that it is not expected to occur during that phase of life. We do not expect that young adults will have to experience the death of a friend or sibling, so it’s a non-normative event. It is expected, however, that a quarterlifer would experience the death of a grandparent, and this expected event is called an “on-time” or normative event. Off-time events have been found to be harder to cope with because they often feel unjust and unexpected. Because grief during the quarterlife stage of life is non-normative, quarterlifers who are mourning are likely to feel alone because peers don’t share and understand their experience.

2) Grief adds a layer of stress to the already stressful quarterlife stage of life. Young adults who are going through a quarterlife crisis are at risk for depression and anxiety. They are juggling many things for the first time in their life, like career, studies, romantic relationships, figuring out their adult identity, and developing autonomy from their families. Grieving a loss often leads young adults to confront death and mortality earlier than predicted, adding an unexpected “first” to the myriad firsts they are already facing.

3) Grieving can interfere with a quarterlifer’s long-range life plans. Experiencing a loss earlier in life has a greater impact on life goals than if the loss is experienced in later years. For example, the death of a fiancé in a quarterlife couple forever changes their plans for marriage and building a life together. Whereas the death of a spouse in an older couple would not alter their ability to have a family because they are already past that phase of life.

4) There is a lack of social support and professional resources for quarterlifers who are grieving. Quarterlifers’ peers often don’t know how to help or what to say because they have never had to experience the loss of a loved one. Additionally, there are limited professional resources for young adults who are grieving, in part because of the non-normative nature of loss during this period of life. Quarterlifers who join existing support groups for bereavement often find that most of the group members are older and can’t relate to their experience.

How You Can Survive Your Painful Grief:

Remember that you are balancing many stressors in your life right now, and it’s understandable that it feels impossible to manage it all. You can expect to feel a wide range of emotions while you’re grieving and to feel particularly frustrated with peers’ responses to you, even if they are trying to help.

Keep in mind the unique challenges that you as a young adult are facing and how your grief compounds all of that right now. You will begin to feel more like yourself again eventually, but it will take time and patience. Most importantly, you don’t need to do grieve alone.

Ask for help from friends and family, whether it’s ordering food delivery, grocery shopping, cleaning your apartment, distracting with humor, driving you to the gym, hanging out, talking, or lending a shoulder to cry on.

Learn about other people’s experiences with grief. Join a support group. Read articles, books, and blogs about loss. Listen to podcast and TedTalks. Reach out to someone you know who has grieved the loss of a loved one.

Get connected with resources for grief support that are tailored particularly for young adults. The Wendt Center for Loss and Healing is a great resource in Washington, D.C. and the Greater Washington region.

Montada, L., Filipp, S., & Lerner, M.J. (2014). Life Crises and Experiences of Loss in Adulthood.

If you’re interested in scheduling an appointment or you’d like more information, please call us or email us here.

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Signs & Symptoms You’re Having a Quarterlife Crisis

When you graduated from college, moved out of your parents’ house, or took that other next big step into adulthood, you likely heard the following from someone in your life:

“This is the most exciting time in your life! Make the most of it. Live every day to the fullest. I wish I could go back and do it all over again.”

And yet, maybe it didn’t feel as exciting as it should have. In fact, your 20s and 30s, despite being the rumored “most exciting time of your life” can often be the most disorienting. It involves so many big decisions and new experiences that you’ll find yourself wondering, “What am I doing with my life?” or “Am I doing this right?” more often than you’d probably like.

As you go through these transitions, you may experience a quarterlife crisis. This phenomenon is incredibly common for quarterlifers. Keep reading to learn the signs and symptoms below.

What is a quarterlife crisis?

A quarterlife crisis is a period when someone in their 20s or 30s experiences overwhelming stress and anxiety regarding the transition into adulthood. Often, the person worries they won’t make the “right” choices and faces this anxiety as they transition from school to a full-time career, begin graduate school, move to a new city, end a relationship, get engaged, or budget their finances.

What are signs you’re experiencing a quarterlife crisis?

Here are some signs that you’re experiencing a quarterlife crisis:

You’re having difficulty making decisions and feel paralyzed about the next steps, even when you’re presented with choices

You’re lacking the motivation to move forward and you’re feeling constantly fatigued

You’re feeling lost with what you want to do with your life and you’re trying to figure out what you’re missing

You’re feeling tension between choosing a young person’s life (adventure, YOLO, etc.) and an adult’s life (settling down, making “grown-up” choices, etc.)

You’re comparing yourself to your peers who seem to have it all figured out and you’re worrying that you’re getting left behind

How did you get here?

If a lot of the above signs resonate with you, you may wonder how you got here. What brought on this quarterlife crisis? While these are incredibly common issues for most people in their 20s and 30s, some common stressors can lead to this uncertainty. Here are some events that may have you feeling this way:

Excessive job searching, interviews, or career planning

Struggling with living alone for the first time

Navigating new and serious relationships

Fear of major life changes or lack thereof

The COVID-19 pandemic and all the change its brought in personal and professional relationships

What can help a quarterlife crisis?

As noted above, a quarterlife crisis is far from abnormal for 20 and 30-somethings. If you’re experiencing the signs and symptoms above, you’re not alone! Here at the Quarterlife Center, we encourage you to face your quarterlife crisis and confront these important issues sooner rather than later. If ignored, they can bring about risky behavior and mental health issues.

Reach out for more help Please, click here.