#Quarterlife Center

[ippnoida]

JLF New York announces speaker list

JLF New York, produced by Teamwork Arts, pioneering Indian curatorial company, returns for its 8th edition on 10 and 11 September 2024, at one of the world’s most culturally alive cities. The festival, which embodies the energy of its mother ship, the annual Jaipur Literature Festival (JLF), will bring back its signature camaraderie, books and writers, and ideas and conversations that make it truly special. Held at prestigious venues including the Asia Society, the National Arts Club, the Center for Fiction, and Sundaram Tagore Gallery, JLF New York promises a rich tapestry of debates and dialog, featuring a roster of speakers.

JLF New York 2024’s speakers include André Aciman, author of Call Me by Your Name, Homo Irrealis and Find Me, whose new memoir My Roman Year will be released in October 2024. Joining him is Devika Rege, celebrated for her debut novel Quarterlife, recognized as a landmark in contemporary Indian literature. 

The festival will also have Navdeep Suri, distinguished diplomat and translator, who has brought to life his grandfather Nanak Singh's searing ballad on the Jallianwala Bagh massacre, Khooni Vaisakhi, alongside Harpreet, well-known singer and composer, known for his innovative repertoire. Renowned filmmaker Shekhar Kapur, celebrated for cinematic works like Elizabeth: The Golden Age and Bandit Queen, will also grace the festival, as will Josephine Quinn, professor of Ancient History at Oxford University, and author of the book How the World Made the West.

The line-up continues with Shashi Tharoor, prominent author and politician, and Izzeldin Abuelaish, a Nobel Peace Prize nominee dedicated to health and education advocacy in the Middle East. Tarun Tahiliani, famous fashion designer known for his fusion of Indian textiles with contemporary styles, will also be featured, bringing his unique artistic vision to the festival.

Nermeen Shaikh, co-host and senior producer at Democracy Now! will also be a part of this year’s program. Kanishk Tharoor, author and senior editor at Foreign Affairs, and Sanjoy K Roy, managing director of Teamwork Arts, will contribute to sessions with their expertise. The festival will also feature Sree Sreenivasan, a digital innovation leader and president of the South Asian Journalists’ Association, Aroon Purie, eminent Indian media industry leader, and Mohit Satyanand, entrepreneur and investor. 

For more information, please visit:

JLF New York: https://jlflitfest.org/new-york

[rpgadverts]

Writing-centric, thread-based plots (model pref) for an active NYC real life site…

A Broadway enthusiast/researcher as a love interest for a fellow enthusiast, an Art Photographer and single dad. Some elements of history diving, maybe fun au threads and lots of character development

A younger brother living up to family legacy while the older brother lies through his quarterlife crisis moment – themes: bonding through family baggage & trying not to turn against one another

Don Quixote spirits love interest requests that center on chivalric romance, courtly love, and platonic love for organic concepts with open range and flexibility.

Wife needed for an infidelity plot inspired by the Good Morning America Holmes-Robach mess but all parties involved work in the same tv industry/station. Lots of development and nuance for a slow-paced plot.

[jcinktinder]

Writing-centric, thread-based plots (model pref) for an active NYC real life site…

A Broadway enthusiast/researcher as a love interest for a fellow enthusiast, an Art Photographer and single dad. Some elements of history diving, maybe fun au threads and lots of character development

A younger brother living up to family legacy while the older brother lies through his quarterlife crisis moment – themes: bonding through family baggage & trying not to turn against one another

Don Quixote spirits love interest requests that center on chivalric romance, courtly love, and platonic love for organic concepts with open range and flexibility.

Wife needed for an infidelity plot inspired by the Good Morning America Holmes-Robach mess but all parties involved work in the same tv industry/station. Lots of development and nuance for a slow-paced plot.

Female sports co-host/podcaster colleague for an obnoxious sports podcaster for a love-hate-love vibe based on sports fanaticism and rivalry – themes: sports rivalry but make it a ship

[allthingsroleplay]

Writing-centric, thread-based plots (model pref) for an active NYC real life site…

A Broadway enthusiast/researcher as a love interest for a fellow enthusiast, an Art Photographer and single dad. Some elements of history diving, maybe fun au threads and lots of character development

A younger brother living up to family legacy while the older brother lies through his quarterlife crisis moment – themes: bonding through family baggage & trying not to turn against one another

Don Quixote spirits love interest requests that center on chivalric romance, courtly love, and platonic love for organic concepts with open range and flexibility.

Wife needed for an infidelity plot inspired by the Good Morning America Holmes-Robach mess but all parties involved work in the same tv industry/station. Lots of development and nuance for a slow-paced plot.

[anna-2807]

Couples Counseling near Dupont Circle

Life transitions that occur in your twenties and thirties can be exciting for couples, but they are also stressful. Building a life together is a wonderful thing, but it also can create significant tension and anxiety. As couples consider taking their relationships to the next level, whether it’s moving in together, planning for marriage or having a baby, they often experience increased conflict and miscommunication, decreased sexual intimacy, and even doubts about their compatibility.

At QLC, we understand how these transitions affect couples, and we are here to help you work together as a couple to navigate these challenging times.

These are some of the areas our couples counselors can help you with:

Communication skills

Empathy and understanding

Effective conflict resolution

Anger and resentment

Decision-making as a couple

Emotional connection

Sexual intimacy

Infidelity

Trust

Conflict about finances

About the Quarter-Life Center (QLC):

Our QLC Counselors specialize in working with individuals and couples in their 20s and 30s in a supportive, caring, confidential setting. We will work with you to help you identify your passions, achieve your goals and thrive in your life.

Quarter-Life Center offers the following services:

Individual Counseling

Couples Counseling

Premarital Counseling

Career Coaching

Perinatal/Postpartum Counseling

If you’re interested in scheduling an appointment or you’d like more information, please contact.

[emberweekdays]

I rushed but the bus left me. That sucks. Anyway, thanks, Grab. So, Hubby and I talked about what will happen if he goes to the military camp hospital. He said he'll be trained physically for 3 months, and then he'll work in their laboratory for a year. I don't wanna ask "San ako dun?" because I know where I'll be. I'll be done with school during that time, I might apply to Japan to teach English, who knows... Or jump to Malaysia and join Kuya Pong and Ate Leda in a call center that imports Filipino folks. Our goal is to work in Canada, but we gotta step to some other country first before going in there, and that's just the beginning. Mi Hubby said he'll stay in the military hospital for a year or two and then jump overseas too. I love our relationship so much that I feel like I won't be able to bear the pain if it does not work out in the end. I will always long for our laughs and kulitan moments. We're on our quarterlife crisis of adulthood if you look at it. He's 25 and I'm turning 24 in next few days. What I like about him is that he usually say that he do things for himself, for me and for our future. I never uttered that, but I always wanna be good for him (knowing how his mom loves him so). I teach him everything I know, but he taught me lots of things like having long patience that I once had. 🙄 I frankly told him that we might be apart if ever, because I'll be away for sure and he said that that's okay. I mean, I am okay with that too. Who's rushing? I just feel sad thinking that it's a must to break up if we set our lives apart for the mean time. It's because I am sure he will meet somebodyelse. I'm pretty sure I'll ignore other +men because... That's how fixated I am. I mean, he said that's what he'll do too, but I don't know how would that work for the both of us. We'll see. Now I looked at how petty things were before us. They don't even matter. All that matters is I think of this person while doing cases at work, he's the first person I think of when I listen to love songs, I smile a wide smile When I remember our funny moments, I always miss how warm our hugs and kisses all the time, and how very vocal he is to say that I am beautiful even when I just woke up beside him and I am pretty l sure that I look like shit. 🤣 I just love him so much, I imagined my married life with him. It's pretty hard to find a person that would love you half to death. I liked how transparent this relationship is. May we last a life time ❤️

[jatswhatshesaid]

Bring it on, 25! 📸 by @haroldjason. Surprise, surprise from my SuitedConnector fam. Thank you. My heart is full. 🙏🏼 😊😊 . . . . . . . . #beyondblessed #humbled #birthday #quarterlife #twentysomethings #millennial #celebratelife #vsco #vscogirl #vscochill #vscoph #vscocebu #vscoworld (at FLB Corporate Center)

[quarterlifecenter]

Mistakes Couples Make (And How to Avoid Them!)

Relationships aren’t perfect, and mistakes are inevitable. However, as you and your significant other learn and grow together, there are some common mistakes that you can avoid. Read through the list below to see how you can expand your perspective and improve your relationship now and for the long term.

Here are 5 common mistakes that couples make:

1. They talk about hot button issues while intoxicated.

If you have an important topic to address, make sure you put it on hold if one or both of you is drinking. Sometimes you may feel tempted to bring up subjects that one of you has on your mind, but being intoxicated often makes people more emotional and less tactful. Unfortunately, for many couples, discussing while drinking often escalates to arguing. To avoid this mistake, be conscious and mindful of the fact that this can happen. Remember: Don’t drink and discuss.

Before the night begins, agree together which topics are off-limits for the night and should be saved for discussion until the next day. Planning your communication in this way will help prevent any blow-ups.

2. They bring up sensitive topics without warning.

Some topics can be difficult to discuss at a moment’s notice. While you may be ready to discuss finances or having another baby, it’s unlikely your partner is in the same headspace at the exact same time. Likewise, you may not be ready to discuss traveling during the pandemic or whose family you’ll spend the holidays with when your partner brings it up.

For everyone’s sake, schedule these conversations so the timing works for BOTH of you. You want to make sure you’re both in the mental headspace to discuss these topics and that you have time to prepare and gather your thoughts.

3. They attack their partner’s behavior.

When you’re frustrated with your partner, you may feel inclined to accuse them of what they did. Often, we feel better after telling others what they did wrong. The result? It puts them on the defensive and makes it hard for them to be open to your feelings.

Instead, express to your partner how their action made you feel.

Instead of this: “You always leave your dirty dishes on the counter for me to clean up — you’re so inconsiderate!”

Try this: “When you leave your dirty dishes in the kitchen, I feel stressed out by the clutter in our shared space, and I feel taken for granted.”

This helps take the focus off of them and keeps it on you and your feelings. You can also ask your partner to tell you what their intention was (instead of assuming you know what their intention was). More often than not, your significant other didn’t have a malicious intention to hurt you. When you use “I feel” statements rather than blaming your partner, you open up communication so you can talk through how to resolve the problem together.

4. They hesitate to schedule sex.

Do you think about passion and intimacy as something that must be spontaneous? If so, you’re not the only one. Couples often think they’re doing something wrong if their sex life isn’t glamorous like in the movies and if sex isn’t just happening “naturally.” But that’s not how life works in long-term relationships. It’s easy for other things to take priority — work, household tasks, kids…

You schedule time for other things that are important to you: exercise, meals, work meetings, and social activities. Why shouldn’t sex work the same way? Sex is an important way for couples to connect and for you both to feel more vibrant and alive. Prioritizing and scheduling sex ensures that it won’t get pushed out of your relationship by other priorities. Having it on the schedule gives you something to look forward to, like scheduling date nights! Don’t be afraid to sit down with your partner and put it on the calendar.

5. They don’t express their needs.

People don’t always ask for what they need, even in a stable relationship. They may fear seeming vulnerable, weak, or needy or being judged by their partner. In fact, too often we fall into the mindset that a true partner will know what we need through intuition simply because they “care enough.”

Here’s the truth. Your partner can truly love and care about you and still not know what you need. And you are not forcing your partner to do something that they don’t want to do by stating your needs. As a grown and independent adult, you should feel comfortable articulating what you need. Your partner (also grown and independent) is able to decide how to respond and can articulate whether or not they can meet your need.

And don’t forget — just because you make your needs known doesn’t mean your partner HAS to do what you’ve asked. Your partner should listen and be curious about your needs, but depending on the request, they should feel free to decide whether or not they’re able to fulfill it. If you’re in a loving, respectful relationship, this is all part of ongoing effective communication.

Final thoughts

Understanding how you can avoid these common mistakes in your relationship can help you feel more satisfied in your relationship. The key? Have open communication with your partner. Relationship conflicts are inevitable, but having a solid foundation to navigate them makes all the difference.

For help, consider couples counseling with the Quarterlife Center. Visit here for more information.

If you’re interested in scheduling an appointment or you’d like more information, please contact us.

[quarterlifecenter]

Know a Quarterlifer Who’s Struggling? Here’s How You Can Help

Are you a parent, grandparent, friend, or loved one of an adult quarterlifer? Quarterlifers are individuals who are in their twenties or thirties. They’re the millennials or Gen Zers in your life who you may notice are struggling right now. Whether they’re back home living with you, suffering from unemployment, generally lacking motivation, sleeping a lot, socially isolating themselves, or just not opening up to you about it, then you may wonder…

What can I do to help?

If you think someone you know is having a quarterlife crisis, you can help. Here’s what we suggest.

What should I do if I think my loved one is having a quarterlife crisis?

If you know a quarterlifer who is struggling, you’re not alone. We often hear from family members or other loved ones who believe that their child or friend is suffering. This is what you can do.

1. Recognize the symptoms

Symptoms of a quarterlife crisis include:

Lack of motivation

Irritability

Tearfulness

Anxiety about the future

Difficulty making decisions

Changes in appetite or sleep habits

Substance abuse

If you begin to notice these symptoms (or have noticed them over the past several months), then you may wonder about the next steps. How can you help your loved one and express the concern that you’re feeling?

2. Avoid confrontation

You may be feeling a mix of concern, frustration, or confusion. And especially if your child isn’t talking to you, then you have no idea what’s going through their head either. This combination of emotions often prompts people to lead with something like, “So, how’s the job/apartment search going?” or “What’s your plan for your life? You don’t seem to be making any progress, but you sure watch a lot of TV.” Inevitably, this doesn’t help the conversation progress very far. It just puts everyone on the defensive.

Try using a supportive approach where you express how you’re feeling. “I’m worried about you because you don’t seem like yourself lately. What’s been on your mind?” Remember, while you’re not asking about a job or apartment, you’ll likely get to the root of the issue much faster, and you’ll be able to offer them the assistance they need to get to those end goals.

3. Listen intently

Regardless of how the conversation goes, the best thing you can do as a supportive person in their life is listen. Hear where they are, refrain from overly positive statements that may minimize their experiences, and remind them that they don’t have to go through this alone. If it seems appropriate, suggest that they speak to a counselor. A counselor is often a great resource because they’re an external party who can offer nonjudgmental support. They’re not a parent, family member, or close friend who may be difficult to talk things through with.

4. Be sure to follow-up

Within a few weeks of that initial conversation, make sure you follow up with your quarterlifer. This is a step that many people miss because they’re afraid of seeming pushy, but it’s critical because it allows you to keep communication open. You can ask something general, like “I wanted to follow up with you from our chat a couple of weeks ago and see how you’re feeling. I just want you to know I’m here for you if you want to talk.” This gives them the opportunity to open up more or communicate anything that may have been forgotten. It also reassures them that they don’t need to struggle alone.

Final thoughts

The steps in this blog may seem simple in theory, but it can be hard to watch someone you love struggle. Have more questions about navigating this stage of life? Don’t hesitate to reach out to the Quarterlife Center for more information.

If you’re interested in scheduling an appointment or you’d like more information, please contact us.

[quarterlifecenter]

Benefits of an ADHD Brain

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You may have grown up hearing things like, “Oh my gosh, you’re so ADHD.” And while the person saying it may have sounded a tad exasperated, your ADHD makes you who you are. Your creative, spontaneous, and energetic nature isn’t anything to apologize for or feel ashamed of. Here are the benefits of an ADHD brain — start thinking of it as your superpower!

1. ADHD makes you a flexible thinker

You may have heard the word “neurodiverse” in the last couple of years. This term refers to an individual whose brain develops differently or uniquely for some reason. Growing up, you may have thought being different was bad for one reason or another but being different can also give you strengths that no one else has.

ADHD is a type of neurodiversity that allows an individual to be exceptionally good at various thinking tasks, like flexibility and thinking outside the box.

2. ADHD allows you to hyperfocus

You may think that ADHD means that you can’t focus on anything or even sit still. While people with ADHD may struggle with their mind wandering at points, they also have the ability to hyperfocus on tasks as well. This means you’ll be able to dedicate all your energy and attention to whatever you’re passionate about. This trait is greatly beneficial to all sorts of roles like writers, artists, scientists, etc. Any task that requires you to maintain focus for a long time can benefit from ADHD.

3. ADHD lets you know resilience

ADHD can make a person more resilient. Many people struggle with ADHD. It can lead to setbacks throughout their life because they have to learn to operate in a world where most people think differently than they do. However, when you learn to manage the difficulties and pick yourself back up when you fall down, you build resilience and competence.

Resilience is the capacity to recover quickly from challenges. Individuals with ADHD build resilience because they must overcome challenges daily to accomplish their goals. If you’re struggling with building resilience, try setting smaller, attainable goals while you build confidence. This will help you see that it is possible to work with your ADHD.

Final Thoughts

Your ADHD brain isn’t a curse! Over time, you’ll see that you have the benefit of being flexible, creative, resilient, and perhaps even more focused than your peers. Learn to work with your brain rather than against it.

If you continue to struggle, consider working with one of our professionals at the Quarterlife Center.

If you’re interested in scheduling an appointment or you’d like more information, please contact us.

[quarterlifecenter]

How to Show Your Love on Valentine’s Day: Part II

Valentine’s Day can be a difficult holiday for people. We’ve been raised to think that you need to have a valentine, be in a relationship, or have a special date night planned for it to be special, meaningful, or right. So many people spend a day that is intended to be centered around love, feeling lonely or forgotten.

Whether you’ve never had a true relationship, you’ve just experienced a breakup, or you’re simply “dating” because that’s what quarterlifers do, be sure to show yourself some love on this day. Valentine’s Day as a holiday isn’t going anywhere, but you can transform it into a self-love holiday if its traditional definition isn’t working for you.

1. Go shopping

If your love language is receiving gifts, plan a little shopping spree. Give yourself permission to splurge on yourself and spend some time on Valentine’s Day shopping for an item or two that you’ve really wanted.

Another alternative to shopping is simply buying yourself your own chocolate and flowers. Too many people see these as the all-too-desired gifts for Valentine’s Day. Well, if you want them, get them! Feel empowered to buy them for yourself. Don’t wait on others for your happiness.

2. Plan a fun night with friends

If your love language is quality time, reach out to your other single friends and make plans to hang out together. You’ve probably heard of “Galentine’s Day” celebrations before. This fun twist on the holiday is all about having a night and enjoying each other’s company. Remember, the holiday is about love…it doesn’t need to be romantic love!

3. Make a list of things you love about yourself

If your love language is words of affirmation, take time to reflect on what you love about yourself. This can be difficult — really difficult — for a lot of people to do because they struggle with their self-esteem and self-worth. Make it your goal to write down at least three things about your personality, talents, body, etc. that you love. Your self-love journey starts here!

4. Get pampered

If your love language is physical touch, let someone else take care of you on Valentine’s Day! Schedule a massage, manicure/pedicure, or a blowout. You’ll be able to relax and walk away from the appointment looking and feeling your best.

5. Do something for you

If your love language is acts of service, consider hiring a cleaning service, giving yourself a day off work, or ordering takeout for the night. Take something off your plate so that you can just enjoy time to yourself either watching a show on Netflix or doing one of the other activities above!

Final Thoughts

Free yourself from the mentality that Valentine’s Day is about a partner. Valentine’s Day is all about love. Love for yourself and the people around you. Use the tips above and here to tap into your love languages and do something for yourself this February 14.

If you’re interested in scheduling an appointment or you’d like more information, please contact us.

[quarterlifecenter]

What is a Quarterlife Crisis?

Dr. Christine Greer O'Connor, PhD - Founder of the Quarterlife Center speaking about the Quarterlife Crisis.

If you’d like more information or you’re interested in scheduling an appointment, please contact us.

[quarterlifecenter]

Want to Find a Job? 3 Tips For Your Toolkit

If you’re a recent grad seeking a job, there are a few ways you can prepare for this transition. It’s not easy being a young adult, but just a few tips and tricks in your toolkit can make you feel even more confident as you walk this path. Here’s what you should focus on in the coming months, if not everything is set in stone (and trust us — no one has it all figured out!).

1. Create a strong resume

Every time you walk into a career center, enter a job fair, or take a coffee meeting with someone, they’ll likely ask you about your resume. Your resume is the most important document you can have during your job search. It’s a clear, concise, formal document that provides an overview of your professional qualifications.

Unfortunately, most job seekers falter when it comes to creating their resumes. Employers only look at resumes for roughly 6 to 7 seconds. Yes! You read that correctly. If you don’t write your resume correctly, then you’re less likely to receive positive feedback. Here are some quick pointers that can make all the difference.

Keep your resume short and direct

Use a professional resume template, but don’t copy it exactly (you don’t want to look like everyone else!)

Highlight your most relevant skills and experiences for the job you’re applying

Demonstrate results with numbers and metrics to make your actions tangible (i.e., How did you personally achieve results?)

2. Network to your advantage

You may think you’ll find your perfect position by browsing job postings, but this just isn’t the case. Some estimates suggest that up to 70 percent of all jobs aren’t published on publicly available job search websites. So, where are you going to find your dream position?

Networking. Research has shown that anywhere from half to upwards of 80 percent of jobs are filled through someone the candidate knows. If you’re able to leverage this skill set, you’re putting yourself ahead of your peers.

Most universities don’t teach a class on networking, however, which means graduates feel woefully unprepared for how to navigate this element of the search. Consider using these guidelines:

Schedule face-to-face time with contacts over lunch or coffee

Prepare questions and discussions beforehand to fight anxiety

Remember it takes time to cultivate worthwhile relationships

Try not to exclusively sell yourself — set your sights on building a relationship instead

Use social networks and other online relationships to search for new connections (Maybe those connections come from neighbors or family friends!)

Follow up with contacts and thank them for their time

3. Clean up your online presence

You’ve likely been told for the last 10 years that hiring managers will be looking at your social media…so keep it clean! But now that you’re searching for a job, what does this mean?

According to research, 45 percent of hiring managers use social media to learn more about potential candidates. In fact, they use it just like a resume or cover letter. If you’re not sure exactly what exists on your profiles, now is the time to spruce it up. Here are the steps we recommend taking.

Google yourself It takes less than 3 seconds to Google yourself and find your “digital dirt.” Once you know what’s out there, you can begin the cleanup process.

Remove incriminating photos Remove distasteful, inappropriate, or offensive pictures from your profile. These don’t align with your personal brand, and your potential employer shouldn’t see them. (For example, you probably don’t need a photo of you at your college frat!)

Change your privacy settings Keep your private life private. A simple change in your privacy settings can help eliminate the possibility of not getting hired.

Final Thoughts

Oftentimes, your mindset is just as important as all the above listed items. Check out our blog on Postgraduation Mindset. Do you want to talk about your career options? Or get help with your resume? Get more direction with Career Coaching from the Quarterlife Center. We offer 15-minute complimentary career sessions — see if it’s a good fit for you!

If you’re interested in scheduling an appointment or you’d like more information, please contact us.

[quarterlifecenter]

5 Tips for a Positive Post-Graduation Mindset

Congratulations! You just graduated, and that’s a huge accomplishment. If you have a job lined up after graduation, that’s spectacular. You’re probably feeling a mix of emotions and trying to process it all. If you don’t, then that’s still spectacular. You’re also likely feeling a mix of emotions and trying to process it all.

Society preaches that graduating seniors should have it all figured out by the time they walk across the stage, but it doesn’t happen that way for everyone. This can create a confusing, stressful, and exhausting mindset for a graduate just trying to figure out their life. Here’s what we recommend for the next few months if you just received your diploma, but you’re still finding your footing.

1. Maintain a positive mindset

A job search can be a true test of confidence. If you’ve been job hunting your entire senior year without much luck, then you may be losing some momentum. However, it’s more important than ever to maintain a positive mindset. While it may be taking longer than expected, you find a position well-suited for you. Check out our post Want to Find a Job? 3 Tips for Your Toolkit – to get more help on finding a job.

2. Pace yourself

Your life is not your job. We repeat — your life is not your job! Don’t become so consumed by the job search that you forget other activities, hobbies, or rewarding elements of your life. Some people find jobs immediately and others spend months searching for optimal opportunities. If you lose yourself completely in this process, you’re more likely to feel like it’s never going to get better. Take a step back, breathe, and remember that finding a job will happen with consistent effort.

3. Lean on your support system

Some people isolate themselves when they feel their lives aren’t going well. They may feel ashamed or embarrassed if life isn’t turning out exactly as they planned. However, there are plenty of people in your life who can support you through this, even providing ideas or tips if desired. Friends and family members are an ideal place to start, but you can consider reaching out to therapists or career coaches as well if you need additional support.

4. Find your own definition of success

At the same time, there are often a lot of voices surrounding graduating students. Block out the noise that isn’t helpful to you. You don’t have to follow the advice of your professors, parents, or peers if it isn’t what success looks like to YOU. Ask yourself, “What will make me happy? What will make me feel fulfilled? What will help me find success?”

5. Create a timeline

When you graduate, everyone will tell you that you “have your whole life ahead of you.” This is meant to feel inspiring, but it can easily feel daunting. What happens if you don’t have a plan for tomorrow or next week?

Start by creating a timeline for the next month or until the end of the summer. This will help you understand your success in a defined period, and it can help you gain confidence.

Final Thoughts

Are you feeling nervous about your job search? Read our blog Want to Find a Job? 3 Tips for Your Toolkit or sign up for Career Coaching with the Quarterlife Center. We’re here to help you make this transition to adulthood as seamless as possible.

If you’re interested in scheduling an appointment or you’d like more information, please contact us.

[quarterlifecenter]

How To Adapt to Ongoing Pandemic Ups and Downs

We have heard that the pandemic is over; and shortly after that, the Center for Disease Control (CDC) corrected the claim, informing us that this was not the case, but that we are in a much more hopeful and confident place than ever before. This is just one example of the back-and-forth we have been experiencing for a while now. It seems that we are in another period of transition where we’re trying to adjust to the “new normal.” And it wasn’t too long ago that we had to adapt to the “pandemic normal.”

In March 2020, the world faced a series of forced choices in efforts to adapt to lockdowns, limitations, and losses. Waves of fear, anger, sadness and other complex emotional experiences surfaced, and we did our best to make things work within the confines of our new reality. Through facing our individual and collective suffering, many of us found rhythms, adaptations, and processes that started to work for us. Maybe we sometimes sulked and balked, as we tolerated and accepted what we could not change. We reframed our thinking, problem solved, and connected with others who went through similar experiences. We started to feel a sense of mastery over this new way of existing.

It hasn’t been that long since we have been through The Great Resignation, which later became the Great Talent Reshuffle. Now we’re faced with requirements and demands to adapt again. Maybe we are asked to come back into the office partially or entirely, which completely throws off the rhythm we have grown accustomed to. Maybe classes start in hybrid or in-person, requiring flexible schedules, finding new child or pet care, and coordinating with others and their unique demands. As we return in person, some of our favorite coffee shops or lunch spots have closed, and we must plan our meals differently. Or perhaps we’re recovering from a painful season of suffering and loss. We are asked to adapt but haven’t fully recovered from the previous ups and downs. We might feel emotionally exhausted, indignant, or maybe excited and anxious simultaneously.

How do we emerge from the last 2+ years into these new expectations and demands? The answer is complex and beyond the goal of this blog, but we have a few insights worth considering.

1. Our track record shows that we can do it.

Give yourself credit for all the hard work you’ve put in to adjust to the last two years. Your personal history shows you’re creative and resourceful. If you’re reading this, the chances are that you have resiliently adapted to life’s demands up to this point.

2. Allow and accept emotions, even unpleasant ones.

We had a wide range of emotions at the start of the pandemic and throughout it. We will likely experience similar waves of sadness, fear, anger, and anxiety connected to a new set of circumstances. Instead of pushing them away, allow them to show up and pass, just like the waves of the oceans do.

3. Suffering can come from various sources, but our responses are limited.

Dr. Marsha Linehan offered a practical framework to deal with problems. In providing Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, Dr. Linehan validates that difficulties, distress, pain, and suffering can come from a myriad of sources; however, we can typically respond in the following four ways:

Solve for the source of the problem: when that is feasible, when there is a solution, and you have the resources and willingness to implement it.

Change how you feel about the source of distress by changing your thoughts concerning it. In therapy, we often work on reframing or exploring and making meaning of our difficult experiences that we cannot change.

Tolerate the problem until a solution is evident. That may not change how we feel about it, but it will allow us to get through something difficult without making it worse.

Do nothing and remain miserable. That usually requires the least amount of energy and also provides the least amount of relief

So as we feel challenged to adapt yet again, let’s remind ourselves that we have adapted before, that our feelings are valid, and that we have options to consider as we emerge into a new season.

Additionally, the counselors at the Quarterlife Center are here to help you process these changes.

If you’re interested in scheduling an appointment or you’d like more information, please contact us.

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How to Manage Fears After Mass Violence

The recent shootings in Uvalde and Buffalo have put most (if not all) quarterlifers on edge. These 20- and 30-somethings are right on the cusp – either reeling from their own experiences of shootings in their childhood or fretting about their young children’s safety in public spaces. Managing fear, anxiety, and difficult conversations after incidences of mass violence isn’t something they give adults instructions for. Here’s our best guide on how to cope if you’re feeling especially worried these days.

The Rise of Mass Shootings

A mass shooting is an incident involving several victims of firearm-related violence. Over the past 25 years, hundreds of mass shootings have occurred, which only contribute to young adults’ general sense of anxiety and instability. Today’s young adults (Millennials and Gen Z-ers) grew up in a world where safety wasn’t guaranteed in schools, grocery stores, concerts, movie theaters, and other public spaces.

Here’s a list of just a fraction of the mass shootings that have occurred over the last 25 years.

Columbine High School (1999)

Virginia Tech (2007)

Binghamton (2009)

Foot Hood (2009)

Aurora Theater (2012)

Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, CT (2012)

Washington Navy Yard (2013)

San Bernadino (2015)

Orlando Pulse Nightclub (2016)

Route 91 Harvest Music Festival in Las Vegas (2017)

Texas First Baptist Church (2017)

Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, FL (2018)

Thousand Oaks Nightclub (2018)

El Paso Walmart (2019)

Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, TX (2022)

In 2022 alone, there have been 300 mass shootings so far. These instances of violence can be especially difficult for a generation who has grown up fearing these occurrences in their communities. Now, even in young adulthood, the rate of mass shootings has continued to rise. The children of this generation have grown into adults — some with their own children, who have questions about the shootings..

5 Strategies to Manage Your Fear and Anxiety

1. Acknowledge your anxiety

It is normal to feel fear and anxiety following a traumatic event. Acknowledge your fear, but don’t allow it to consume you.

2. Connect with others

Fear can make you feel isolated and alone, which in turn, heightens the fear. Reach out to others to let them know how you’re feeling and to see how they’re doing. This can help you both feel supported and understood.

3. Avoid triggers

Triggers are things that can cause your fear and anxiety to increase. By temporarily avoiding triggers, you can help to minimize the fear and anxiety that you’re experiencing. Common triggers following mass violence events include:

News about the event

Images or videos of the event

Sensory reminders of the event (sounds, smells, etc.)

People who were at the event

Conversations about the event

You may also find that you’re nervous in spaces that are like those of the mass violence event. For instance, maybe you’re not comfortable going to the movies right now, or you prefer to do online grocery pickup instead of shopping in person. It’s not always possible to avoid every trigger but planning and avoiding the ones you can is a good temporary solution.

4. Prepare and support your family

Following the Uvalde shooting, many young parents began to fear the worst about what their children would encounter in school. Searches like “how to talk to kids about school shootings” and “tips on navigating tough conversations with kids about school shootings” were trending on Google.

While it’s a horrifying reality that parents have to talk to their young child about such violence, preparing those in your household can make you feel more prepared if there is such an event in the future. Here are a few tips you can use.

Remember that you serve as your child’s emotional stability — turn down the volume on your own reactions so you can listen to your child’s concerns calmly.

Determine whether your child is aware of the event.

Talk about the event and the impact that the event has had on their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

Provide routines so your child has a sense of predictability and control.

5. Seek professional help

If your fear is still impacting your functioning weeks after an event, consider seeking professional help. Therapy can help you to understand and manage your anxiety in a way that doesn’t interfere with how you live.

Visit the Quarterlife Center for more information on individual counseling after mass violence events.

If you’re interested in scheduling an appointment or you’d like more information, please contact us.