#Quarterlife Center

[quarterlifecenter]

3 Mistakes that Parents of Quarterlifers Make

If you’re a parent of a quarterlifer, you may be looking at your son or daughter in distress. These 20- or 30-something Millennials and Gen Z-ers are at a pivotal point in their lives, and along with everything else going on, the last couple of years haven’t been easy on them. Yet, as much as you want to help, sometimes your actions may be making the situation worse (doesn’t every parent love to hear that!). In this blog, we’ll discuss the top 3 mistakes that parents of quarterlifers make and how you can redirect your energy and actions to actually improve their situation.

1. You offer too much help

We all know these types of parents — and you might be one of them. Those that are overbearing and micromanaging. Of course, they mean well and want to help their child. It’s difficult to see your child struggling, and as a parent, you want to do anything you can to help them.

However, now that your children are emerging adults, they’re developing independence and autonomy. This is the time to let them take the reins and help them find the resources to do things on their own. Let your kids fall down, skin their knees, and figure it out themselves. It may not be easy for them (or you!), but it’ll be better for everyone in the long run.

2. You don’t let them help themselves

No one wants to be an enabler, but this is often what parents of quarterlifers are. They do things for their children that they should really be doing for themselves. If your quarterlife child is living with you or you’re financially supporting them, make sure you set boundaries and talk about expectations. You can be helpful to your child and support them without doing everything.

For example, if they are living with you, discuss how they should help around the house and demonstrate responsibility for taking care of the home. What chores should be completed on a weekly basis? How will they work towards their goals while living with you? The best way to support them is by ensuring they are continuing to grow themselves!

3. You wait too long to open up communication

If you see your quarterlifer is struggling, then you may think it’s best to leave them be. Unfortunately, this is a common mistake that parents make. They take too long to open up communication and offer their support. Having a quarterlife crisis is very real, and it is often accompanied by depression and anxiety that must be treated with therapy, medication, or both. Reach out to them and let them know that you’re here, concerned, and ready to support them in a way that works for both of you.

Final thoughts

Do you have a quarterlife child that you’re trying to help? Early adulthood is a common time that low levels of anxiety and depression can become more acute. Your child isn’t alone!

Visit the Quarterlife Center for more resources. Contact us here.

If you’re interested in scheduling an appointment or you’d like more information, please contact us.

[ippnoida]

JLF New York announces speaker list

JLF New York, produced by Teamwork Arts, pioneering Indian curatorial company, returns for its 8th edition on 10 and 11 September 2024, at one of the world’s most culturally alive cities. The festival, which embodies the energy of its mother ship, the annual Jaipur Literature Festival (JLF), will bring back its signature camaraderie, books and writers, and ideas and conversations that make it truly special. Held at prestigious venues including the Asia Society, the National Arts Club, the Center for Fiction, and Sundaram Tagore Gallery, JLF New York promises a rich tapestry of debates and dialog, featuring a roster of speakers.

JLF New York 2024’s speakers include André Aciman, author of Call Me by Your Name, Homo Irrealis and Find Me, whose new memoir My Roman Year will be released in October 2024. Joining him is Devika Rege, celebrated for her debut novel Quarterlife, recognized as a landmark in contemporary Indian literature. 

The festival will also have Navdeep Suri, distinguished diplomat and translator, who has brought to life his grandfather Nanak Singh's searing ballad on the Jallianwala Bagh massacre, Khooni Vaisakhi, alongside Harpreet, well-known singer and composer, known for his innovative repertoire. Renowned filmmaker Shekhar Kapur, celebrated for cinematic works like Elizabeth: The Golden Age and Bandit Queen, will also grace the festival, as will Josephine Quinn, professor of Ancient History at Oxford University, and author of the book How the World Made the West.

The line-up continues with Shashi Tharoor, prominent author and politician, and Izzeldin Abuelaish, a Nobel Peace Prize nominee dedicated to health and education advocacy in the Middle East. Tarun Tahiliani, famous fashion designer known for his fusion of Indian textiles with contemporary styles, will also be featured, bringing his unique artistic vision to the festival.

Nermeen Shaikh, co-host and senior producer at Democracy Now! will also be a part of this year’s program. Kanishk Tharoor, author and senior editor at Foreign Affairs, and Sanjoy K Roy, managing director of Teamwork Arts, will contribute to sessions with their expertise. The festival will also feature Sree Sreenivasan, a digital innovation leader and president of the South Asian Journalists’ Association, Aroon Purie, eminent Indian media industry leader, and Mohit Satyanand, entrepreneur and investor. 

For more information, please visit:

JLF New York: https://jlflitfest.org/new-york

[rpgadverts]

Writing-centric, thread-based plots (model pref) for an active NYC real life site…

A Broadway enthusiast/researcher as a love interest for a fellow enthusiast, an Art Photographer and single dad. Some elements of history diving, maybe fun au threads and lots of character development

A younger brother living up to family legacy while the older brother lies through his quarterlife crisis moment – themes: bonding through family baggage & trying not to turn against one another

Don Quixote spirits love interest requests that center on chivalric romance, courtly love, and platonic love for organic concepts with open range and flexibility.

Wife needed for an infidelity plot inspired by the Good Morning America Holmes-Robach mess but all parties involved work in the same tv industry/station. Lots of development and nuance for a slow-paced plot.

[jcinktinder]

Writing-centric, thread-based plots (model pref) for an active NYC real life site…

A Broadway enthusiast/researcher as a love interest for a fellow enthusiast, an Art Photographer and single dad. Some elements of history diving, maybe fun au threads and lots of character development

A younger brother living up to family legacy while the older brother lies through his quarterlife crisis moment – themes: bonding through family baggage & trying not to turn against one another

Don Quixote spirits love interest requests that center on chivalric romance, courtly love, and platonic love for organic concepts with open range and flexibility.

Wife needed for an infidelity plot inspired by the Good Morning America Holmes-Robach mess but all parties involved work in the same tv industry/station. Lots of development and nuance for a slow-paced plot.

Female sports co-host/podcaster colleague for an obnoxious sports podcaster for a love-hate-love vibe based on sports fanaticism and rivalry – themes: sports rivalry but make it a ship

[allthingsroleplay]

Writing-centric, thread-based plots (model pref) for an active NYC real life site…

A Broadway enthusiast/researcher as a love interest for a fellow enthusiast, an Art Photographer and single dad. Some elements of history diving, maybe fun au threads and lots of character development

A younger brother living up to family legacy while the older brother lies through his quarterlife crisis moment – themes: bonding through family baggage & trying not to turn against one another

Don Quixote spirits love interest requests that center on chivalric romance, courtly love, and platonic love for organic concepts with open range and flexibility.

Wife needed for an infidelity plot inspired by the Good Morning America Holmes-Robach mess but all parties involved work in the same tv industry/station. Lots of development and nuance for a slow-paced plot.

[anna-2807]

Couples Counseling near Dupont Circle

Life transitions that occur in your twenties and thirties can be exciting for couples, but they are also stressful. Building a life together is a wonderful thing, but it also can create significant tension and anxiety. As couples consider taking their relationships to the next level, whether it’s moving in together, planning for marriage or having a baby, they often experience increased conflict and miscommunication, decreased sexual intimacy, and even doubts about their compatibility.

At QLC, we understand how these transitions affect couples, and we are here to help you work together as a couple to navigate these challenging times.

These are some of the areas our couples counselors can help you with:

Communication skills

Empathy and understanding

Effective conflict resolution

Anger and resentment

Decision-making as a couple

Emotional connection

Sexual intimacy

Infidelity

Trust

Conflict about finances

About the Quarter-Life Center (QLC):

Our QLC Counselors specialize in working with individuals and couples in their 20s and 30s in a supportive, caring, confidential setting. We will work with you to help you identify your passions, achieve your goals and thrive in your life.

Quarter-Life Center offers the following services:

Individual Counseling

Couples Counseling

Premarital Counseling

Career Coaching

Perinatal/Postpartum Counseling

If you’re interested in scheduling an appointment or you’d like more information, please contact.

[emberweekdays]

I rushed but the bus left me. That sucks. Anyway, thanks, Grab. So, Hubby and I talked about what will happen if he goes to the military camp hospital. He said he'll be trained physically for 3 months, and then he'll work in their laboratory for a year. I don't wanna ask "San ako dun?" because I know where I'll be. I'll be done with school during that time, I might apply to Japan to teach English, who knows... Or jump to Malaysia and join Kuya Pong and Ate Leda in a call center that imports Filipino folks. Our goal is to work in Canada, but we gotta step to some other country first before going in there, and that's just the beginning. Mi Hubby said he'll stay in the military hospital for a year or two and then jump overseas too. I love our relationship so much that I feel like I won't be able to bear the pain if it does not work out in the end. I will always long for our laughs and kulitan moments. We're on our quarterlife crisis of adulthood if you look at it. He's 25 and I'm turning 24 in next few days. What I like about him is that he usually say that he do things for himself, for me and for our future. I never uttered that, but I always wanna be good for him (knowing how his mom loves him so). I teach him everything I know, but he taught me lots of things like having long patience that I once had. 🙄 I frankly told him that we might be apart if ever, because I'll be away for sure and he said that that's okay. I mean, I am okay with that too. Who's rushing? I just feel sad thinking that it's a must to break up if we set our lives apart for the mean time. It's because I am sure he will meet somebodyelse. I'm pretty sure I'll ignore other +men because... That's how fixated I am. I mean, he said that's what he'll do too, but I don't know how would that work for the both of us. We'll see. Now I looked at how petty things were before us. They don't even matter. All that matters is I think of this person while doing cases at work, he's the first person I think of when I listen to love songs, I smile a wide smile When I remember our funny moments, I always miss how warm our hugs and kisses all the time, and how very vocal he is to say that I am beautiful even when I just woke up beside him and I am pretty l sure that I look like shit. 🤣 I just love him so much, I imagined my married life with him. It's pretty hard to find a person that would love you half to death. I liked how transparent this relationship is. May we last a life time ❤️

[jatswhatshesaid]

Bring it on, 25! 📸 by @haroldjason. Surprise, surprise from my SuitedConnector fam. Thank you. My heart is full. 🙏🏼 😊😊 . . . . . . . . #beyondblessed #humbled #birthday #quarterlife #twentysomethings #millennial #celebratelife #vsco #vscogirl #vscochill #vscoph #vscocebu #vscoworld (at FLB Corporate Center)

[quarterlifecenter]

Mistakes Couples Make (And How to Avoid Them!)

Relationships aren’t perfect, and mistakes are inevitable. However, as you and your significant other learn and grow together, there are some common mistakes that you can avoid. Read through the list below to see how you can expand your perspective and improve your relationship now and for the long term.

Here are 5 common mistakes that couples make:

1. They talk about hot button issues while intoxicated.

If you have an important topic to address, make sure you put it on hold if one or both of you is drinking. Sometimes you may feel tempted to bring up subjects that one of you has on your mind, but being intoxicated often makes people more emotional and less tactful. Unfortunately, for many couples, discussing while drinking often escalates to arguing. To avoid this mistake, be conscious and mindful of the fact that this can happen. Remember: Don’t drink and discuss.

Before the night begins, agree together which topics are off-limits for the night and should be saved for discussion until the next day. Planning your communication in this way will help prevent any blow-ups.

2. They bring up sensitive topics without warning.

Some topics can be difficult to discuss at a moment’s notice. While you may be ready to discuss finances or having another baby, it’s unlikely your partner is in the same headspace at the exact same time. Likewise, you may not be ready to discuss traveling during the pandemic or whose family you’ll spend the holidays with when your partner brings it up.

For everyone’s sake, schedule these conversations so the timing works for BOTH of you. You want to make sure you’re both in the mental headspace to discuss these topics and that you have time to prepare and gather your thoughts.

3. They attack their partner’s behavior.

When you’re frustrated with your partner, you may feel inclined to accuse them of what they did. Often, we feel better after telling others what they did wrong. The result? It puts them on the defensive and makes it hard for them to be open to your feelings.

Instead, express to your partner how their action made you feel.

Instead of this: “You always leave your dirty dishes on the counter for me to clean up — you’re so inconsiderate!”

Try this: “When you leave your dirty dishes in the kitchen, I feel stressed out by the clutter in our shared space, and I feel taken for granted.”

This helps take the focus off of them and keeps it on you and your feelings. You can also ask your partner to tell you what their intention was (instead of assuming you know what their intention was). More often than not, your significant other didn’t have a malicious intention to hurt you. When you use “I feel” statements rather than blaming your partner, you open up communication so you can talk through how to resolve the problem together.

4. They hesitate to schedule sex.

Do you think about passion and intimacy as something that must be spontaneous? If so, you’re not the only one. Couples often think they’re doing something wrong if their sex life isn’t glamorous like in the movies and if sex isn’t just happening “naturally.” But that’s not how life works in long-term relationships. It’s easy for other things to take priority — work, household tasks, kids…

You schedule time for other things that are important to you: exercise, meals, work meetings, and social activities. Why shouldn’t sex work the same way? Sex is an important way for couples to connect and for you both to feel more vibrant and alive. Prioritizing and scheduling sex ensures that it won’t get pushed out of your relationship by other priorities. Having it on the schedule gives you something to look forward to, like scheduling date nights! Don’t be afraid to sit down with your partner and put it on the calendar.

5. They don’t express their needs.

People don’t always ask for what they need, even in a stable relationship. They may fear seeming vulnerable, weak, or needy or being judged by their partner. In fact, too often we fall into the mindset that a true partner will know what we need through intuition simply because they “care enough.”

Here’s the truth. Your partner can truly love and care about you and still not know what you need. And you are not forcing your partner to do something that they don’t want to do by stating your needs. As a grown and independent adult, you should feel comfortable articulating what you need. Your partner (also grown and independent) is able to decide how to respond and can articulate whether or not they can meet your need.

And don’t forget — just because you make your needs known doesn’t mean your partner HAS to do what you’ve asked. Your partner should listen and be curious about your needs, but depending on the request, they should feel free to decide whether or not they’re able to fulfill it. If you’re in a loving, respectful relationship, this is all part of ongoing effective communication.

Final thoughts

Understanding how you can avoid these common mistakes in your relationship can help you feel more satisfied in your relationship. The key? Have open communication with your partner. Relationship conflicts are inevitable, but having a solid foundation to navigate them makes all the difference.

For help, consider couples counseling with the Quarterlife Center. Visit here for more information.

If you’re interested in scheduling an appointment or you’d like more information, please contact us.

[quarterlifecenter]

Want to Find a Job? 3 Tips For Your Toolkit

If you’re a recent grad seeking a job, there are a few ways you can prepare for this transition. It’s not easy being a young adult, but just a few tips and tricks in your toolkit can make you feel even more confident as you walk this path. Here’s what you should focus on in the coming months, if not everything is set in stone (and trust us — no one has it all figured out!).

1. Create a strong resume

Every time you walk into a career center, enter a job fair, or take a coffee meeting with someone, they’ll likely ask you about your resume. Your resume is the most important document you can have during your job search. It’s a clear, concise, formal document that provides an overview of your professional qualifications.

Unfortunately, most job seekers falter when it comes to creating their resumes. Employers only look at resumes for roughly 6 to 7 seconds. Yes! You read that correctly. If you don’t write your resume correctly, then you’re less likely to receive positive feedback. Here are some quick pointers that can make all the difference.

Keep your resume short and direct

Use a professional resume template, but don’t copy it exactly (you don’t want to look like everyone else!)

Highlight your most relevant skills and experiences for the job you’re applying

Demonstrate results with numbers and metrics to make your actions tangible (i.e., How did you personally achieve results?)

2. Network to your advantage

You may think you’ll find your perfect position by browsing job postings, but this just isn’t the case. Some estimates suggest that up to 70 percent of all jobs aren’t published on publicly available job search websites. So, where are you going to find your dream position?

Networking. Research has shown that anywhere from half to upwards of 80 percent of jobs are filled through someone the candidate knows. If you’re able to leverage this skill set, you’re putting yourself ahead of your peers.

Most universities don’t teach a class on networking, however, which means graduates feel woefully unprepared for how to navigate this element of the search. Consider using these guidelines:

Schedule face-to-face time with contacts over lunch or coffee

Prepare questions and discussions beforehand to fight anxiety

Remember it takes time to cultivate worthwhile relationships

Try not to exclusively sell yourself — set your sights on building a relationship instead

Use social networks and other online relationships to search for new connections (Maybe those connections come from neighbors or family friends!)

Follow up with contacts and thank them for their time

3. Clean up your online presence

You’ve likely been told for the last 10 years that hiring managers will be looking at your social media…so keep it clean! But now that you’re searching for a job, what does this mean?

According to research, 45 percent of hiring managers use social media to learn more about potential candidates. In fact, they use it just like a resume or cover letter. If you’re not sure exactly what exists on your profiles, now is the time to spruce it up. Here are the steps we recommend taking.

Google yourself It takes less than 3 seconds to Google yourself and find your “digital dirt.” Once you know what’s out there, you can begin the cleanup process.

Remove incriminating photos Remove distasteful, inappropriate, or offensive pictures from your profile. These don’t align with your personal brand, and your potential employer shouldn’t see them. (For example, you probably don’t need a photo of you at your college frat!)

Change your privacy settings Keep your private life private. A simple change in your privacy settings can help eliminate the possibility of not getting hired.

Final Thoughts

Oftentimes, your mindset is just as important as all the above listed items. Check out our blog on Postgraduation Mindset. Do you want to talk about your career options? Or get help with your resume? Get more direction with Career Coaching from the Quarterlife Center. We offer 15-minute complimentary career sessions — see if it’s a good fit for you!

If you’re interested in scheduling an appointment or you’d like more information, please contact us.

[quarterlifecenter]

5 Tips for a Positive Post-Graduation Mindset

Congratulations! You just graduated, and that’s a huge accomplishment. If you have a job lined up after graduation, that’s spectacular. You’re probably feeling a mix of emotions and trying to process it all. If you don’t, then that’s still spectacular. You’re also likely feeling a mix of emotions and trying to process it all.

Society preaches that graduating seniors should have it all figured out by the time they walk across the stage, but it doesn’t happen that way for everyone. This can create a confusing, stressful, and exhausting mindset for a graduate just trying to figure out their life. Here’s what we recommend for the next few months if you just received your diploma, but you’re still finding your footing.

1. Maintain a positive mindset

A job search can be a true test of confidence. If you’ve been job hunting your entire senior year without much luck, then you may be losing some momentum. However, it’s more important than ever to maintain a positive mindset. While it may be taking longer than expected, you find a position well-suited for you. Check out our post Want to Find a Job? 3 Tips for Your Toolkit – to get more help on finding a job.

2. Pace yourself

Your life is not your job. We repeat — your life is not your job! Don’t become so consumed by the job search that you forget other activities, hobbies, or rewarding elements of your life. Some people find jobs immediately and others spend months searching for optimal opportunities. If you lose yourself completely in this process, you’re more likely to feel like it’s never going to get better. Take a step back, breathe, and remember that finding a job will happen with consistent effort.

3. Lean on your support system

Some people isolate themselves when they feel their lives aren’t going well. They may feel ashamed or embarrassed if life isn’t turning out exactly as they planned. However, there are plenty of people in your life who can support you through this, even providing ideas or tips if desired. Friends and family members are an ideal place to start, but you can consider reaching out to therapists or career coaches as well if you need additional support.

4. Find your own definition of success

At the same time, there are often a lot of voices surrounding graduating students. Block out the noise that isn’t helpful to you. You don’t have to follow the advice of your professors, parents, or peers if it isn’t what success looks like to YOU. Ask yourself, “What will make me happy? What will make me feel fulfilled? What will help me find success?”

5. Create a timeline

When you graduate, everyone will tell you that you “have your whole life ahead of you.” This is meant to feel inspiring, but it can easily feel daunting. What happens if you don’t have a plan for tomorrow or next week?

Start by creating a timeline for the next month or until the end of the summer. This will help you understand your success in a defined period, and it can help you gain confidence.

Final Thoughts

Are you feeling nervous about your job search? Read our blog Want to Find a Job? 3 Tips for Your Toolkit or sign up for Career Coaching with the Quarterlife Center. We’re here to help you make this transition to adulthood as seamless as possible.

If you’re interested in scheduling an appointment or you’d like more information, please contact us.

[quarterlifecenter]

DBT Therapy Group for Quarterlifers

An interpersonal skills group to support those who want to improve their relationships.

When you are in your twenties and thirties, there is a lot that life can throw at you. And here at QLC, we aim to give quarterlifers the skills to deal with those challenges. There are plenty of ups and downs in relationships, whether it’s relationships with your partner, your parents, your friends, or coworkers. One way to improve your relationships and cope with stress is to learn how to observe your experiences, regulate intense emotions, tolerate distress and develop effective interpersonal skills in a DBT interpersonal skills to foster relational satisfaction in a group therapy setting. In this group, you’ll get to learn new skills AND practice them with one another all with the guidance of an experienced DBT therapist.

Let’s Dive into DBT

Dialectical Behavior Therapy was developed by Marsha Linehan in the 1970’s. While it has initially used for those with borderline personality disorder, or suicidal ideation, it is now used to help anyone improve their ability to regulate intense emotions, tolerate distress and effectively navigate relationships and everyday life.

So let’s learn how to improve our relationships,

Live more in the moment,

Feel calmer during conflict,

Find healthy ways to cope with stress, and

Be more present…for ourselves and our relationships.

This DBT group teaches you the skills to be your best self in your relationships.

Weekly online group sessions with DBT therapist Dorin

An individual session with Dorin for orientation and goal setting

Skills worksheets to reinforce concepts between sessions

Opportunities to workshop new skills in the group sessions

Join The Waitlist.

This group is perfect for you if…

You want to improve your relationships

Your emotions often feel out of control

You tend to react strongly or “overreact” during conflict

You want to feel calmer in everyday life

You will be located in DC, MD or VA at the time of the session

It’s Not The Right Fit For You If…

You handle the stresses of everyday life well

You manage your emotions well during interpersonal conflict

You’re not comfortable participating in a group environment (that’s OK! We offer individual sessions as well.)

This group is led by QLC therapist Dorin Captari-Scirri, who has advanced training in DBT and has experience leading multiple DBT groups. Initially, the tasks of the group will focus on learning and using basic DBT skills of mindfulness, emotion regulation, distress tolerance and heavier focus on interpersonal skills with one another. And as group cohesion is formed, you will have the option to continue after 12 weeks as a longer-term interpersonal process group. This group is best for those who are currently in individual therapy or have been in therapy previously.

Meets Wednesdays 5:00PM – 6:15 PM Eastern time

Meetings are held through an online secure platform

Starts Summer 2022

12-week commitment required

4-8 members

$175 per session

Yes, I’m ready to improve my relationships and my life!

[quarterlifecenter]

Top 12 Questions about Therapy

Are you thinking about starting therapy? Not sure how to choose the right therapist? You may have questions about what it’s all about. People often want to know what therapy is really like and what to expect.

In this post, we share 12 common questions that we receive at QLC. The following information will simplify the process of finding the right therapist for you. If you have additional questions, please contact us at QLC.

1. Why go to therapy when I can just get advice from friends and family?

Leaning on friends and family certainly can be helpful. That said, therapists are professionally trained to help you explore and discuss your difficulties and develop solutions to your particular problems. They have expertise in helping you express and evaluate your feelings, focusing entirely on you without bringing their own needs into the mix.

Psychotherapy is a treatment process that is often very useful in helping people cope with their problems. Meeting with a therapist provides you an opportunity to receive feedback from a licensed professional who is skilled at listening and providing guidance.

2. How do I choose the right therapist?

Here is what you need to know when selecting a therapist:

It’s important to feel that there is a good fit between your personality and your therapist’s personality. There are many skilled therapists out there, which means there is not only one therapist who is “right” for you. Like all people, therapists have different personalities, styles, office setting, and approaches. Find one you are comfortable with, one you can trust, and one who helps you grow. We generally recommend meeting with a therapist for 2-3 sessions before deciding to continue or discontinue sessions with that therapist.

3. What should I talk about in counseling?

You should feel free to talk about anything that you’d like to share with your therapist. Not sure what to talk about in counseling? Here are a few ideas to get started.

4. How long are counseling sessions?

This depends on the therapist, but typically sessions range between 45-60 minutes. At QLC, individual sessions are 45 minutes and couples sessions are 50 minutes.

5. How often will I meet with my therapist?

While the success of psychotherapy depends on various factors, one of the most important is continuity of sessions. To be most useful at the beginning, sessions with your therapist usually take place at least on a weekly basis. With time, sessions may take place every couple of weeks, depending on your needs and your therapist’s approach.

6. Will my therapist ask me a lot of questions in therapy?

This depends on the style and training of your therapist. Some therapists will conduct an “intake,” also known as a biopsychosocial assessment, in the first session. During the intake process, you will be asked questions about topics like family background, mental health history, physical health, education, career, and substance use history. Other therapists will wait for you to begin talking or they’ll begin the session with a simple question like, “So what brings you in today?” There isn’t a right or wrong approach. You want to find a therapist whose style fits with your personality.

7. What if I don’t want to talk about certain topics?

That’s not a problem! If your therapist asks you a question that you don’t want to answer, just tell them that you’re not ready to discuss it. Perhaps, you can circle back to that topic down the road when you’re ready.

8. What if I feel like my therapist is judging me?

Therapists have a great deal of training on developing a nonjudgmental stance. Your therapist should provide a safe, accepting space in which you feel free to explore all types of thoughts and feelings.

Throughout their training, coursework, clinical supervision, and their own therapy, psychotherapists become experienced at keeping their opinions and feelings in check as they work with clients. They are trained to thoughtfully and carefully listen with an open mind.

Of course, therapists are human beings with their own opinions and beliefs. Keep in mind that some therapists provide religion-based therapy, and usually they state that on their website. For example, they might identify as a “Christian counselor.”

The Quarterlife Center is not affiliated with any religion and is open to working with all lifestyles.

9. What should I do if my therapist upsets me?

If your therapist upsets you, you should bring it to their attention. Even if you wait until a later session to bring it up, it’s better than ignoring it. If you feel that you’re being judged or criticized, let your therapist know. For example, you could say something like, “In our session last week, I felt like you were judging me when I told you that I smoke marijuana. Can we talk about that?”

A well-trained therapist will be able to respond empathically to you and will be open to exploring your feelings about the interactions between the two of you. A well-trained therapist will also be able to own their part in the interaction. Often, an open and honest conversation about your interaction can enhance your work together long-term.

10. What education and licensing do your therapists have?

All QLC therapists are licensed mental health professionals with at least one graduate degree in social work or psychology. They also have post-graduate training in various topics, including trauma, grief and loss, post-partum counseling, psychodynamic counseling, and mind-body integrative medicine.

11. What are your strengths as a therapist?

One of the biggest strengths of QLC therapists is that they are experienced at working with quarterlifers and they really enjoy working with quarterlifers. They have a great deal of clinical experience working with issues common to the quarterlife phase of life and emerging adulthood.

12. Some therapists are more comfortable addressing the immediate problem, while others want to focus on the deeper issue. Which are you?

At QLC, we tailor the counseling experience to fit the needs of the client. Our therapists will help you address the immediate problem, while also addressing the deeper underlying issues that contribute to the immediate problem. Therapy at QLC integrates various techniques to help clients resolve their problems so that the problems do not continue to resurface over time.

What if I have additional questions about counseling?

You can reach our team at the Quarterlife Center for additional information.

If you’re interested in scheduling an appointment or you’d like more information, please call us or email us here.

[quarterlifecenter]

3 Mistakes Parents of Quarterlifers Make

If you’re a parent of a quarterlifer, you may be looking at your son or daughter in distress. These 20- or 30-something Millennials and Gen Z-ers are at a pivotal point in their lives, and along with everything else going on, the last couple of years haven’t been easy on them. Yet, as much as you want to help, sometimes your actions may be making the situation worse (doesn’t every parent love to hear that!). In this blog, we’ll discuss the top 3 mistakes that parents of quarterlifers make and how you can redirect your energy and actions to actually improve their situation.

1. You offer too much help

We all know these types of parents — and you might be one of them. Those that are overbearing and micromanaging. Of course, they mean well and want to help their child. It’s difficult to see your child struggling, and as a parent, you want to do anything you can to help them.

However, now that your children are emerging adults, they’re developing independence and autonomy. This is the time to let them take the reins and help them find the resources to do things on their own. Let your kids fall down, skin their knees, and figure it out themselves. It may not be easy for them (or you!), but it’ll be better for everyone in the long run.

2. You don’t let them help themselves

No one wants to be an enabler, but this is often what parents of quarterlifers are. They do things for their children that they should really be doing for themselves. If your quarterlife child is living with you or you’re financially supporting them, make sure you set boundaries and talk about expectations. You can be helpful to your child and support them without doing everything.

For example, if they are living with you, discuss how they should help around the house and demonstrate responsibility for taking care of the home. What chores should be completed on a weekly basis? How will they work towards their goals while living with you? The best way to support them is by ensuring they are continuing to grow themselves!

3. You wait too long to open up communication

If you see your quarterlifer is struggling, then you may think it’s best to leave them be. Unfortunately, this is a common mistake that parents make. They take too long to open up communication and offer their support. Having a quarterlife crisis is very real, and it is often accompanied by depression and anxiety that must be treated with therapy, medication, or both. Reach out to them and let them know that you’re here, concerned, and ready to support them in a way that works for both of you.

Final thoughts

Do you have a quarterlife child that you’re trying to help? Early adulthood is a common time that low levels of anxiety and depression can become more acute. Your child isn’t alone!

Visit the Quarterlife Center for more resources. Contact us here.

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Grief and the Quarterlife Crisis

Are you in your twenties or thirties and grieving the death of a loved one? If you are, you already know that this is a particularly difficult time of life to grieve the loss of someone you love.

Grieving a loss as a young adult is challenging for several reasons:

1) Experiencing grief during the quarterlife phase of life is an “off-time” life event, meaning that it is not expected to occur during that phase of life. We do not expect that young adults will have to experience the death of a friend or sibling, so it’s a non-normative event. It is expected, however, that a quarterlifer would experience the death of a grandparent, and this expected event is called an “on-time” or normative event. Off-time events have been found to be harder to cope with because they often feel unjust and unexpected. Because grief during the quarterlife stage of life is non-normative, quarterlifers who are mourning are likely to feel alone because peers don’t share and understand their experience.

2) Grief adds a layer of stress to the already stressful quarterlife stage of life. Young adults who are going through a quarterlife crisis are at risk for depression and anxiety. They are juggling many things for the first time in their life, like career, studies, romantic relationships, figuring out their adult identity, and developing autonomy from their families. Grieving a loss often leads young adults to confront death and mortality earlier than predicted, adding an unexpected “first” to the myriad firsts they are already facing.

3) Grieving can interfere with a quarterlifer’s long-range life plans. Experiencing a loss earlier in life has a greater impact on life goals than if the loss is experienced in later years. For example, the death of a fiancé in a quarterlife couple forever changes their plans for marriage and building a life together. Whereas the death of a spouse in an older couple would not alter their ability to have a family because they are already past that phase of life.

4) There is a lack of social support and professional resources for quarterlifers who are grieving. Quarterlifers’ peers often don’t know how to help or what to say because they have never had to experience the loss of a loved one. Additionally, there are limited professional resources for young adults who are grieving, in part because of the non-normative nature of loss during this period of life. Quarterlifers who join existing support groups for bereavement often find that most of the group members are older and can’t relate to their experience.

How You Can Survive Your Painful Grief:

Remember that you are balancing many stressors in your life right now, and it’s understandable that it feels impossible to manage it all. You can expect to feel a wide range of emotions while you’re grieving and to feel particularly frustrated with peers’ responses to you, even if they are trying to help.

Keep in mind the unique challenges that you as a young adult are facing and how your grief compounds all of that right now. You will begin to feel more like yourself again eventually, but it will take time and patience. Most importantly, you don’t need to do grieve alone.

Ask for help from friends and family, whether it’s ordering food delivery, grocery shopping, cleaning your apartment, distracting with humor, driving you to the gym, hanging out, talking, or lending a shoulder to cry on.

Learn about other people’s experiences with grief. Join a support group. Read articles, books, and blogs about loss. Listen to podcast and TedTalks. Reach out to someone you know who has grieved the loss of a loved one.

Get connected with resources for grief support that are tailored particularly for young adults. The Wendt Center for Loss and Healing is a great resource in Washington, D.C. and the Greater Washington region.

Montada, L., Filipp, S., & Lerner, M.J. (2014). Life Crises and Experiences of Loss in Adulthood.

If you’re interested in scheduling an appointment or you’d like more information, please call us or email us here.

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Know a Quarterlifer Who’s Struggling? Here’s How You Can Help

Are you a parent, grandparent, friend, or loved one of an adult quarterlifer? Quarterlifers are individuals who are in their twenties or thirties. They’re the millennials or Gen Zers in your life who you may notice are struggling right now. Whether they’re back home living with you, suffering from unemployment, generally lacking motivation, sleeping a lot, socially isolating themselves, or just not opening up to you about it, then you may wonder…

What can I do to help?

If you think someone you know is having a quarterlife crisis, you can help. Here’s what we suggest.

What should I do if I think my loved one is having a quarterlife crisis?

If you know a quarterlifer who is struggling, you’re not alone. We often hear from family members or other loved ones who believe that their child or friend is suffering. This is what you can do.

1. Recognize the symptoms

Symptoms of a quarterlife crisis include:

Lack of motivation

Irritability

Tearfulness

Anxiety about the future

Difficulty making decisions

Changes in appetite or sleep habits

Substance abuse

If you begin to notice these symptoms (or have noticed them over the past several months), then you may wonder about the next steps. How can you help your loved one and express the concern that you’re feeling?

2. Avoid confrontation

You may be feeling a mix of concern, frustration, or confusion. And especially if your child isn’t talking to you, then you have no idea what’s going through their head either. This combination of emotions often prompts people to lead with something like, “So, how’s the job/apartment search going?” or “What’s your plan for your life? You don’t seem to be making any progress, but you sure watch a lot of TV.” Inevitably, this doesn’t help the conversation progress very far. It just puts everyone on the defensive.

Try using a supportive approach where you express how you’re feeling. “I’m worried about you because you don’t seem like yourself lately. What’s been on your mind?” Remember, while you’re not asking about a job or apartment, you’ll likely get to the root of the issue much faster, and you’ll be able to offer them the assistance they need to get to those end goals.

3. Listen intently

Regardless of how the conversation goes, the best thing you can do as a supportive person in their life is listen. Hear where they are, refrain from overly positive statements that may minimize their experiences, and remind them that they don’t have to go through this alone. If it seems appropriate, suggest that they speak to a counselor. A counselor is often a great resource because they’re an external party who can offer nonjudgmental support. They’re not a parent, family member, or close friend who may be difficult to talk things through with.

4. Be sure to follow-up

Within a few weeks of that initial conversation, make sure you follow up with your quarterlifer. This is a step that many people miss because they’re afraid of seeming pushy, but it’s critical because it allows you to keep communication open. You can ask something general, like “I wanted to follow up with you from our chat a couple of weeks ago and see how you’re feeling. I just want you to know I’m here for you if you want to talk.” This gives them the opportunity to open up more or communicate anything that may have been forgotten. It also reassures them that they don’t need to struggle alone.

Final thoughts

The steps in this blog may seem simple in theory, but it can be hard to watch someone you love struggle. Have more questions about navigating this stage of life? Don’t hesitate to reach out to the Quarterlife Center for more information.

If you’re interested in scheduling an appointment or you’d like more information, please contact us.